The Gary Stu? · 9:47pm Jan 25th, 2014
I've heard it come up a bit, and I suppose it has come to a point where I have to address it. I've heard a lot of folks indicate that they think that Mole Cricket is a Gary Stu character. Well, I've said it before, and I will say it again: everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I honestly don't expect everyone to enjoy my writing. However, I can't help but think that people are a little too eager to apply the label. I mean, yes, he's an OC, and OC's are often Gary Stu's. But then again, Stu's are common in writing: Batman could easily be a Gary Stu. He's wealthy, handsome, brilliant, and is an Olympic class athlete, on top of being a crime fighter. He fights Superman on a regular basis, and takes him down without much effort. He's a master planner, to the point that he's a memetic master planner on par with Light Yagami from Death Note. On that subject, Superman also comes close to being a Gary Stu. He could, in fact, be considered the most triumphant example of one, were it not for something I'm about to address. But at the same time, people like stories about Superman and Batman. Do you know why? Partly, it's because people like Gary Stus. People like having an ideal to live up to, even if they know they will never live up to it perfectly. But at the same time, in spite of being Stu's, these individuals (Like Batman, Superman, and others) have something important, something that sets that sets them apart from the norm:
They have personality.
The Gary Stu is a character who is never scared, never unsure of himself, and never expresses their emotions... because that would imply that he has depth. They're not people, they're basically a hole where a person would be so that the reader, or the author, can insert themselves into that space. They're basically there as a sort of wish fulfillment.
Batman, Superman, and the like have personality. Quirks, flaws, weaknesses, and the like. In spite of all the stuff that would normally make them Stu's, if someone asked you if you'd like to have dinner with Batman or Superman, you'd immediately say yes, and expect to be able to have an enjoyable conversation with them over that dinner. They've been fleshed out to the point where they are real people.
But I think I am in danger of staying from the subject I intended. Is Mole Cricket a Gary Stu? Well, let's take a look at the character so far.
On a physical level, he does stand head and shoulders above the average individual, but if you're an average person, go arm wrestle with someone who's recently served in the army, navy, or the marines, and see how well you do. A reader mentioned, recently, that he didn't like the idea of Cricket having been able to fly (well, it was gliding, really, but let's not split hairs right now) at a speed faster than Rainbow Dash. Well, asides from the fact that Cricket was burning love (which, in the universe I've created, boost natural abilities many times over what a changeling can normally do) at the time, here's something to consider: he wasn't making a Sonic Rainboom. The verbage I used was that he was certain he was going faster than Dashie would have dared: RD doesn't break out the Sonic Rainboom at the drop of a hat, and she doesn't do it very often, because it is hard to do. There was even an episode where she had trouble doing it herself. But here's an important question for you: If Dashie was THE faster flier in Equestria... wouldn't she be a lot more famous? Wouldn't she already be a Wonderbolt? In Wonderbolt Academy, she had trouble keeping up with Lightning Dust, who was just as fast, but much more reckless. Dashie is definitely fast, but the fastest? Who's to say?
On a personality level, he's got flaws. He has fears: initially, his biggest fear was of discovery. He was scared that, upon being found out, he'd end up getting destroyed by an angry alicorn. That didn't happen, but he has a genuine fear of magic, at least about it being used on him. He can be envious: King Sombra, a pony, had benefits that most ponies could only dream of, but chose evil over good. Cricket essentially chewed him out over that, but in a way, he was indeed deeply envious of Sombra, due to his having those advantages. He also envies ponies over some surprisingly simple things, like the ability to cry. He will sometimes assume the worst out of others, based primarily on prejudices that changelings have held for centuries. While he is working to overcome them, those prejudices are still present. And his first reaction to some problems is to act as a commanding officer towards a subordinate, partly due to having been in a command position most of his life, and partly because he's been in the military most of his life (he's been in the military since he was eight, and was training for the military since he was five). And he has been known to put his hoof in his mouth from time to time.
On a level of personal attractiveness? He's a changeling. He can make himself look different, but his default form is one of a frightening monster. 'Nuff said. A lot of what has happened is due to others looking past that.
Combat proficiency? He's a lifetime soldier, so he does have skills. But that's a result of training that he received from another lifetime soldier, combined with genuine combat experience, added on top of the fact that he can empower himself by burning love, and has a thick carapace.
Finally, there's the question: Is there anything he can't do? Well, as of the most recent short story, it's been established that he knows next to nothing about cooking (somepony had to explain to him how to boil water, for pity's sake), and knows very little about science. There's other stuff, but here's the basic rundown: if it didn't have a purpose on the battlefield, or with the duties he had to perform as a commander, he never learned about it. Which is why his greatest challenge is going to be integrating into pony society, since all of his physical prowess and military skill is useless, and in fact may get in the way.
If this story, or really, this universe, was just about Cricket going places and beating folks up, he'd definitely be a Stu. However, part of the idea of this series is to take an individual who has spent his entire life as a soldier, and see if he can instead just be a good person and a productive citizen.
Like I said, you all have a right to your own opinions, but I'd like to hope that, if you have those opinions, you have them for the right reasons. I won't blame you if you still consider Cricket a bit of a Stu, but like characters like Batman, Superman, and the rest, I hope you'll continue reading because he's an incredibly interesting and engaging Stu.
I'll admit, i was wary of what he could pull off at first. This was mollified by the mention that he was burning a lot of love doing this, and after learning his back-story I had zero issues.
So while at first glance I do think he seems a bit stuish I think he definitely does not qualify under deeper examination.
Yeah, i wouldn't be concerned about Mole Cricket being a gary stu.
A lot of people use that phrase and its female equivalent as shorthand for "Original Character who displays a level of competence i think is excessive". That's not exactly what it means, though.
Mole cricket was the 'main character' a lot of the time, but he didn't steal the show or hog the spotlight. Other characters were interested in him, but not in the vapid 'Oh Wow He's So Much More Interesting Than Us' way. He had skills and powers, but didn't effortlessly pave over any challenges or break the setting.
Most importantly, he isn't a red and black alicorn and his name isn't overwrought and terrible.
He fails the Sue/Stu test pretty hard, IMHO.
Also, i thought he was kinda cool and enjoyed the stories a lot.
Not disagreeing that MC isn't a Stu, but...
Erm - no. Dash _is_ the fastest flyer. The fact that she's the only Pegasus in history to do a Sonic Rainboom kind of proves that.
Should she be more famous? Yes, but this is applicable to all the M6. They've saved the world three times or more by now, have been publically recognised by the Princesses, had one of their number _made_ a princess... and is recognised by neither the average pony on the street (see Manehattan), or another national hero who is in the same business (Daring Doo).
Would she be a Wonderbolt? Let me answer that with another question - is Marc Marquez, the current MotoGP World Champion, part of a motorbike display team? No, he's not. Because being part of a display team requires far more than just 'going really fast'.
She had trouble keeping up with Lightning Dust? No, she had trouble _shadowing_ Lightning Dust. As wingpony, she was expected to stay with her lead - but her lead was failing to communicate, and, as you say, performing reckless maneuvres with little to no regard for other flyers' safety. Even if you count 'speed' as inclusive of 'agility', the fact that Dash is having to perform stunts at split-second notice, against her more restrained instincts, makes her struggle to do so understandable.
Sorry, but outdoing main characters at their special talent _is_ a clear sign of Stu-ism, and as Dash's talent is, so far as we can tell, 'flying fast', then there should never be a case where an OC is capable of beating her at that. Admiral Tigerclaw's 'Higher Flier' cuts pretty damn close to this (too close, in my opinion) by having the OC be better and faster than Dash at high-altitude flight, and I've seen a number of fics where the OC (usually with military training) is better at _endurance_ flying. But just outright better/faster than her? Nope, sorry, that's a clear contradiction of canonically established, defining character traits.
The older I get, the more I find my response to accusations of an OC being a Sue is, “So what?”
There are exceptions, but by and large, people want to see Sues in fiction, because in almost all cases, the Sue is the good guy, or at least the protagonist, and we want to see them succeed.
If you want a Stu, the single greatest example in FiM is Discord. Name for me one thing that he cannot do, and cannot do well. I dare you.
Not all OCs are Gary Stus, and not all Gary Stus are OCs. I have seen Twilight, Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie all turned into Stus and Sues. Don't think the Gary Stu effect is limited to OCs.
But if you are constantly defending your character, then you may want to take a step back and try to look at it from an outsiders perspective. Also, Batman IS a Gary Stu. As are Superman and most other popular comic book characters. This does not mean they have no personality. It means they're imbalanced. When those characters go into a conflict, there is no question of if they will win. The only question is how they do it.
The bad thing about a Gary Stu is that they either take the conflict out of a story or take it out of the realm that your readers can relate to. You don't relate to Batman. You watch him prove himself better than his enemies. You don't look for conflict in Superman comics, you watch him beat the snot out of demi-gods.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, decide on what kind of character you want Mole Cricket to be. If you want him to be a superhero, then he will be a Gary Stu almost by definition. If that is the tone you are looking for, then go with it.
But if you want MC to be relatable, then take the comments into consideration for future writing.
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The only counterpoints I would raise, then, are the following: I'll admit that there's a strong likelihood that Dashie is the fastest natural flier, but Cricket was using supernatural means to accelerate his speed: he was using the power of love to increase the strength of his leg muscles at the moment of takeoff. He basically slingshotted himself out of the window, an incredibly reckless move. He went fast, but had no control, and no means of maintaining that speed. It would be like shooting a helicopter out of a rail gun. Yes, it's moving fast, but it's got no means of controlling itself or keeping up the speed it started with. Cricket's a helicopter to Dashie's fighter jet: he has control (normally) but less speed (normally), while Dashie has speed, but less control (she tends to run into stuff a lot, ya know?).
Second, and this is much more important. Dashie's special talent isn't flying fast. Her special talent is being awesome.
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Good advice. Thank you.
well, you straight up said in the story that he is currently one of the most influential beings in Equestria, both in terms of wealth and how many important people owe him favors. All because he told some stories to some kids. and he resisted Sombra's temptation. and he's single hoofedly planning to save his entire species. and he's crushing on Fluttershy. And I'm probably leaving out some other stuff.
Just that first one alone would be more than enough to qualify him as a gary stu by most people's definitions. Including mine, to tell the truth.
But I still find the story enjoyable despite that. Actually, it reminds me of another story I like where the main character is quite solidly a gary stu, The Foal Necromancer
Not a Stu if you read deeply enough, believable backstory and powers by the definition of the universe. I could gripe about him getting so far so young, but between the training he got and the flexibility of age for any species in Equestria, it can be explained away easily. I disagree about a few things you said, though- namely RD not being the fastest and Superman and Batman being Stus. First off, RD. She is a very fast pony and the only one able to pull off a sonic rainboom, which, in canon, hasn't had any equal. As far as canon goes right now, she is the fastest, at least unless some other pony manages to outrace her rainboom. As for Superman and Batman, theres something called 'Perfect Characters' in any form of media. Both are actually perfect characters and not Stus, they've both got their weaknesses, their flaws, and they've worked to overcome them to the best of their abilities. I know some brony made a video explaining the difference between a Mary Sue and a Perfect Character, citing Superman directly as a Perfect Character. Might want to look it up if you havn't.
1758182 He can't take a direct blast from the Elements of Harmony to the face without getting stoned
... I had to. You set it up too well for me not to.
1759776 I’m not sure I follow the difference between a Sue and a “Perfect Character.” Particularly since a Sue actually is perfect, those terms feel like they are describing the exact same thing.
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Heres the vid I was talking about, hope it helps
I'm not fond of tossing around overused labels of "Mary Sue," and I've fallen behind in the latest Mole Cricket story, so perhaps what I'll write is already outdated. If so, my apologies in advance.
I really liked the first story. Flutterbat turned into a nice curveball, and while Mole Cricket was immediately likeable, his desperation was also totally believable. And as someone who loves a good sappy story, I want to see him win!
But I had some reservations about just how easily he breezed through the interview story. His cutie mark must be for winning over literally any pony with a single witty quip. Nopony even bothered to ask the burning question in my mind, "What are your plans for the Crystal Empire if your old squad turns up?"
And as has already been mentioned, he's at least as rich and powerful as the main characters now.
I want Mole Cricket to be lovable and to be loved. But I think the key to a good changeling story is embracing how different they are and the difficulties that causes for them with others and with their own feelings. You've done a great job so far building up the changelings' culture and physiology. Now Cricket just needs something (or someone) to challenge him emotionally.
There's a lot more leeway in a comedy for being cute for cute's sake, and I wouldn't want you to change that. But Sombra was bad enough to get sealed away by the Princesses, and Cadance was traumatized by the changelings. The higher the stakes, the more we need to see a test of will or strength or wit or courage to make those challenges seem real.
If there's not someone pissing in the protagonist's eyes every step of the way, there'll always be someone screaming "Mary Sue!"
Its not really his escape from the crystal empire that really piqued my worries, it was more of how Mole Cricket was accepted into pony society. A Gary Stu (or Mary sue) is a character created by the author to insert themselves into a story and live out how they think they would react in such a universe. and not created to be entertaining to the reader or viewer or whatever. I don't really get that impression from Mole Cricket, though, which got my initially interested in the story. Also, these characters tend to be crow barred into the story with no thought put behind their appearance and the characters in said story immediately accept him/her, no ifs ands or butts; even if it doesn't make sense and sadly that's where you kind of trip up a bit. Fluttershy, Twilight, Celestia, and even Shining Armor (I especially like how you handled Mole Cricket and Shining Armor's interactions) make sense in story. However Cadance's made a little bit less sense. Just because she wasn't harmed during her kidnapping doesn't really seem like a good reason to drop all of her misgivings and be fine with him. Not outright hate, mind you, just a little resentment. It also seems how strange Rarity accepts him, but I think you overall handled that well.
Another problem where you might be getting these accusations of stu-ness is Mole Cricket's spotless military career. Its not that he's so young, its that every single time we see him during his military career he comes out on top with a complete and utter success. Nothing went wrong in the slightest. Im not saying he needs to loose every time, its just that failure is always the best learning experience and we often learn more about a character during those rough spots. Just have Cricket flashback to a failure of his or something that he regrets. And something else to consider if you do this, its usually for the mistake to be caused by the main character so that he actually learns something and grows. Heck, it doesn't even have to be during his military service. If all he knows how to do is be a soldier, then you could easily squeeze some character out of that.
Also remember, Gary Stus often don't grow as characters, which makes them uninteresting.
Other than all that, I enjoy your story and I look forward to more Tales stories.