Thanks, everyone! · 11:46pm Jan 16th, 2014
Wow, seeing the discussion and all the positive comments on 'Twilight makes first contact' is really inspiring, and kind of humbling as well!
To see people getting caught up in a story, speculating and commenting on it, and even starting conversations about the issues raised by or connected to it... it makes the effort seem so much worthwhile. I really want to be able to do good, seeing that!
So, thanks for letting the author know their work is causing reactions! It's my reward for doing this.
As a side note, what do you think of slow reveal?
This kind of first contact fic, with the two sides gradually becoming to understand each other is just the vehicle for slowly showing the work going into world building. I'd suspect, though, that there are people who become frustrated at it, and would rather get that stuff up front in favor of more plot or character-driven action.
So, what do you think?
Well, my 'slow reveal' is 200k words right now, and still going strong.
So, I'd say take your time and say what you want at the pace you want to go. You might lose some readers, but you'd be surprised how many people want a long, in-depth look at a first-contact.
I'd say the slow reveal is what makes this so great. It really makes it feel more realistic and your doing it so well that it's really entertaining as well. Too many people rush their stories to the detriment of the story itself. It's the journey not the destination
The current pace works well, but I think the reveal of the ponies' base 4 counting system could've been handled slower. Right now it just introduces confusion (1100 ponies??), but it could be handled in conversation once they get translation working. All you'd need is a scene where two characters are talking about five of something and they end up confusing each other for a moment. That's a natural reveal. It could even become a crucial plot point if the two species find themselves having to solve a problem together for which correct math is crucial. If somebody forgets about the base difference... oops.
Other than that one complaint, I think you're doing great so far. I'm developing a soft spot for first contact stories after reading a few good ones, and I like yours quite a lot! Keep up the great work.
Take it slow, keep it cool. And its your fault fro writing such a good story.
Seeing as most stories take the fast approach, at least in my viewing experience... I rather like reading a slower approach.
So long as it's not slower coming to my eyes.
I wouldn't advocate going the Admiral Biscuit route, if only because he already is!
I think the pacing is working out quite well, so far!
Great story. Slow reveals are awsome
The slow reveal works, and more importantly the measured, sane reveal works. Thank you for not turning this into yet another story of human/pony conflict; we have more than enough HFY stories already. What you have now has the makings of an impressive story of diplomacy, and a serious look at many of the real problems two civilizations would face when attempting to learn about each other and open contact for the first time.
A Slow reveal is fine. In fact, I think it works good for "upping" cultural misunderstandings and external/internal conflict.
Honestly, yours is the most realistic MLP first contact story I've read. I don't normally go for too much realism in a story because let's face it, if I wanted realism I wouldn't be hanging out on the internet and watching a show about cartoon ponies,
That said, I find this story refreshing because so far it's been able to capture the idea that first contact doesn't have to involve excessive mistrust and violence; that both people and ponies are intelligent and mild-mannered enough as a whole to go through an experience like this without someone getting shot/magicked/dissected/blow'd up/sent to the moon.
Now watch; now that I've said all that the horse pucky is going to hit the fan and everyone's going to die or something,
A slow reveal with the characters carefully thinking things through (instead of grabbing the idiot-ball) sounds good to me.
Perhaps with a bit of humor too in the future, such as the President greeting Celestia just like Twilight greeted her over the radio as Twilight blushes nervously while the two leaders smile and chuckle at the joke.
(Am I the only one wondering if the various talkshows/news programs will ever let Twilight forget that?)
Everything good is worth the wait. Your fic applies.
A slow reveal would be much better. Remember, we have two cultures that, aside from being intelligent, have absolutely nothing in common as far as the other knows. Both are going to want to take their time in a first contact situation. Once the initial hurdles are overcome and Pinkie has passed out cupcakes to everyone within a 50 mile range
the pace may pick up but not much if at all. Personally I would keep it slow. Otherwise I think your pacing is spot on. I am thoroughly enjoying the story thus far.
So far the pacing is fitting. Keep up the good work!