Fanfic Reviews - Shipping Edition · 3:04pm Jan 4th, 2014

A second edition! Hopefully I will be able to build a rhythm with these now that the holidays are over. Just as a reminder, the grades are in a 0~10 scale, with 3 representing a mediocre fic.

Also, a special thanks to presentperfect for the shout-out.

Georg – Daring do and the Dance – Romantic Comedy
A generic minion falls in love with Daring Do. Georg seems to have a knack for this kind of story, and considering how it was posted hours after the episode, it is damn good. Not only it manages to portray an interesting, if completely ridiculous romance, it also contains the kind of depth that elevates a good fic to a great fic, dealing well with the idea of love making you a better person, or how it can blossom in different ways for different people. Characterization is great, there are loads of clever writing to go around, and manages to be heartwarming and funny, each affecting the other positively. My only issue with it is that the self-awareness occasionally crosses that threshold between nice and annoying. Nonetheless, this is a minor factor for such a short and dense fic.

Why it should be read: For a cute, sweet, funny, dense, and short fic.
9/10

DawnFade – Vinyl and Octavia: University Days – Romance – reading by Cherax (Chapter 1 here)
Vinyl and Octavia meet in university and fall in love. There. Just read that resume and save yourself from the pain of reading this thing, or even listening to Cherax’s great reading. It is absolutely, unrepentantly bad, with terrible romance, no sense of timing or pacing, uninspired writing, and the most paper-thin characters and cringe worthy romance this side of Phantom Menace. Alone those factors would make for a bad fic, but together they create something truly atrocious. The flat characters made the romance emotionally dull, the terrible pacing made the character development feel forced, and the writing seems to prefer talking about the emotions rather than showing them in any way. And, again, this only gets amplified thanks to how bad the characters and the romance itself are. In fact, it is a story with only caricatures, not characters.

I could go on and on about its problems, but you don’t really need to go further than Octavia’s mom – who, no surprise, is the villain of the piece. She is unbelievable in her actions and motivations, and has a backstory so inane as to bring shame to most soap operas. In a way, she was supposed to be the emotional core of the story, around which Octavia’s journey centers, her breaking free a powerful cathartic moment for the reader, but it fails so miserably as to make the whole thing absolutely hollow. All in all, it is adolescent romance at its tritest and most unselfaware. There's still an epilogue left, but there is no chance it will ever redeem this story.

What irks me is that there is the core of a great story, where Octavia breaks from the clutches of a controlling family, rediscovering her passions thanks to a forbidden first love, taking control of her life… but it fails so completely, and in such a big way that it absolutely salts the earth for any future efforts. I like the idea of vinyl-tavia, shipping or not, I think they have the potential for some great character dynamics, two musicians with diverse focus but united in a common love of music (YourEnigma series of songs captures well what I'm talking about), but vynil-tavia fics seem to be cursed. I wish I knew why this particular one is so popular and well regarded, but I got nothing.

Why it should be read: To understand the impact of bad characterization and unbelievable romance.
0/10

Georg – The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian – Romantic Comedy
Twilight Sparkle and a traveling tutor fall in love. This is the kind of story that should sound off a lot of red signs, with a threadbare plot, its liberal usage of innuendo, or Twilight Sparkle falling for an OC, but it escapes every single pitfall. The plot is simplistic, but there are loads of character development. There is a lot of innuendo, but it tends to be more funny than annoying, and in fact it works well as part of the plot. Green Grass is an amazing protagonist, plays off well against Twilight, and is endearing in his failings and likable in his strengths, and as a consequence their romance is genuinely interesting (and adorable).

The writing is very smart and punchy, full of witty lines and clever turns of phrases, having a distinct Jane Austenian feel to it, only more modern. The comedic timing is impeccable, and combined with the pacing makes the story flow really well, moving from comedic to romantic situations without much of a clear division, making both complement each other. The characterization is amazing, with great depth and a feel for the characters, and as a consequence the romance is very believable, growing steadily and without a single moment where you can draw a line and say "they have fallen in love". The thematic of growing up, conflicting wishes and personalities, facing expectations and pressure from friends and strangers, romance between different classes, coming to term with love... everything comes together to form a great story.

Having it right after University Days is intentional. It does right what the other does wrong, and reads like a textbook example of why UD is bad. This is what shipping should look like, believable without sacrificing pacing, sweet while being self-aware, and able to use the shipping as a mean for character development, and vice versa. In fact, it is so good it completely surpassed “It is Always Sunny in Fillydelphia” as my favorite shipping fic. It has a complete sequel I am saving for when I can read it in one sitting, but even if Twilight fakes her death and turns into a lumberjack in the end I won't lose any goodwill towards this one.

Why it should read: OCxMane6 shipping done well, great comedic sense, great characterization, funny and witty writing, believable romance, good usage of innuendo... It is essentially perfect.
10/10

Golden Vision – Good Girl – Tragedy
Screw Loose turning into a dog from her point of view. This is one of those stories that truly warrant the inclusion of the tragedy tag. It is also terrifying and dark, and while never losing sight of this underlying darkness, it never stops to acknowledge or point directly at it either. The somewhat unreliable narrator worked out great, as well as the tonal dissonance between her vision of the world and everything that is actually happening to her. The author also managed to show the reality clearly enough without affecting the pacing, so kudos to that. The ending is also very strong, with her playing in the sun (most likely a hallucination) and being very happy about her life. It is absolutely terrifying, and closes well the story of her descent into insanity. It also ties in with the theme of sanity vs. happiness, and what she seems to choose, even when that is a false dichotomy. However, I do have some issues, especially with the doctors, whom are caricaturesque and unreasonable in their actions, with most of their treatment consisting of trying to talk her into not behaving like a dog. It is a little ridiculous, and doesn’t fit too well into the overall story. Also, for some reason I experienced an emotional disconnect from the character on the later half – I guess she became too unrelatable.

Why it should be read: The well written tragedy.
8.5/10

Edowaado – Doctor Whooves Comic Series (Chapter 1 here) – Doctor Who crossover comic
Doctor Whooves, Derpy, and Lyra face an alien invasion against Equestria. This isn’t exactly a fanfic, but instead a complete long form comic. It is well paced, with an interesting story and well built characters, especially those of Iron Will and Premonition, not to forget Lyra, Derpy, and the Doctor. Some of the references don't work, such as a bizarre Johnny Bravo stand in, and the art is inconsistent, with the final two chapters being gorgeous, but some of the middle ones not so much – There is clear artistic grow during the series. Where it shines is in understanding why MLP and (Moffat era) Doctor Who work, and how to mesh those elements together, something most Doctor Whooves fics seem to forget. The result is a great crossover, that uses both series to a great extent, and that works well as a comic, ans probably wouldn't in pure written form. It also has one of the best examples of a human obsessed Lyra, with a great explanation for its inception.

Why it should be read: A great example of a Doctor Who and MLP crossover.
7.5/10

Benman – An Earth Pony Orphan in the Unicorn Court – Court Drama(?)
A noble unicorn in pre-unification Equestria adopts an earth pony. Fics that deal with the concept of Racism in Equestria are always interesting to me. It is one of those things that are instantly believable given the world dynamics, and that has great potential for interesting ramifications. This is a very nice story, with great presentation and full of little character moments, well worth the read for that alone, but it is incomplete. Just when things are getting good and the earth pony is gaining a modicum of acceptance from others and himself the story ends. I know it is supposed to spawn other fics, but I believe that any work, when published, must have some form of narrative cohesion, that is, a reader should be able to read it as is and get something out of it, or see the conclusion of an arch or an idea. Conceptually interconnected novelettes can work, but in each one there needs to be a single cohesive narrative that justify it being a separate entity from the other ones. Otherwise, I see no reason for the split. As it is it feels like someone promised me a full movie, showed me the first 20 minutes of it, and told me to return later.

Why it should be read: Well built pre-unification story and good racial tension.
6/10

presentperfect – A Lovely Apology – Romance
Spitfire and Fancy Pants go on a date. It is a simple premise, includes a crackfic, and nothing unexpected happens. This is the type of story that has to be carried through characterization and writing prowess alone, and it works. The personalities conflict and complement each other, with the hotheaded captain and the single father stepping back in the dating scene working very well as a couple. I also like that there is no implication that this is some kind of life-altering romance, but instead just a very good first date that could probably lead somewhere. There are no obvious flaws in the story per se, and the only reason I am not rating it higher is because there isn’t anything particularly impressive either.

Why it should be read: Well executed shipping of an unconventional pairing.
7.5/10

So here it is, a second edition, slightly shorter, but with three longer fics. It is also full of shipping, very unusual considering it is my least read genre, but I just had to get University Days out of my head. Since I have quite the backlog of fics I have read recently and wanna touch on, maybe I can keep some kind of thematic consistency in the future ones. Anyway, thanks for reading!

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