Interview: JawJoe's Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift · 3:54am Nov 22nd, 2013
Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift is a lot of fun. It’s part Men in Black, part H.P. Lovecraft, and part Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. On November 16th, it won the Foal Free Network’s Stories Back from the Read 2013 contest, beating entries by ToixStory, theswimminbrony, and RavensDagger. Though how someone with less than 100 followers can win a popularity contest against people with 400, 400, and 1,260 followers is beyond me. Yay, underdogs! Regardless, they’re all good stories, and when Admujica asked me if I'd interview the winner, I happily agreed.
Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift by JawJoe
Plot summary: Twilight Sparkle is a monster hunter, working for Luna’s secret organization, the Night Shift. What starts out as her typical monster of the week missions take a darker turn as she uncovers hints of a sinister conspiracy. Whatever they’re working towards, it can’t be good, and Twilight needs to stop them before it’s too late.
Why I liked it: think what drives the story is Twilight. JawJoe’s version of her may be a few shades darker than canon, but she’s still an excellent fit for the story he’s telling. She’s clever and highly motivated, and the story never gives her an easy break. Whenever she’s not fighting for her life, she’s doggedly pursuing the novel’s mysterious villain. Because once Twilight sees a problem, she won’t rest until she solves it.
While it’s fun to try to solve the mystery before Twilight does, it’s also fun to just sit back, enjoy the creepy atmosphere, and see how dark things can get.
There are different kinds of horror. My least favourite is relentlessly dark and ultimately depressing. Night Shift is the opposite. It’s the action hero kind of horror, the kind where the good guy can win most battles by punching the bad guy in the face, even if the bad guy happens to be a tentacled abomination from beyond the stars. At least, that’s what it is until that last third of the story, when we learn that the most horrifying problems are the ones that you can’t just punch away. That’s when JawJoe proves that he knows how to be both smart and fun, and I look forwarding to seeing how it all ends.
1. What inspired you to write this? Why write a "secret organisation keeps monsters in check" story if it’s been done so many times before?
The inception of the story is, indeed, quite the story. It came close to never seeing the light of day at all.
The first idea for Night Shift came to me not long after I'd finished my previous fic. Except, at first, it wasn't called “Night Shift” at all. “Twilight Sparkle: Vampire Hunter” was inspired – you guessed it – by that one movie about Abraham Lincoln. (Being from Europe, I always assumed it was historically accurate.)
The plot was to revolve around Twilight being a solitary vampire hunter. Something about Celestia being the head vampire, conspiracy, all that. The first chapter was originally drafted in that spirit, with very little idea of where this story was going to go. It was merely by random happenstance that it took the direction it did: when Twilight is “interrogating” Vinyl, and tells her “You've made one hell of a mess,” I thought, “Hey, wouldn't it sound way cool if she said 'one that we'll have to clean up' next?” And thus, the Night Shift organisation – and the fic's title – was born.
I wrote that first chapter for my own entertainment, and published it just for kicks. After a surprisingly positive reception, I thought that maybe I should carry on writing this. Which was a problem, because I still had zero clue about the fic's direction. Long story short, many abandoned ideas – and a hiatus of near-on half a year – later, I released the second chapter, pushing Night Shift into the coveted feature box for a small period.
I looked at the feature box – my competition – and, with a certain arrogance that is, I think, common to all rookie writers, I noted that all I could see were cheap one-shot comedies and stories that try to be “deep” and “philosophical” by tossing around concepts about the sorrow of immortality, the folly and tragedy of man, or the occasional one about the author's bleak (and often uneducated) outlook on nuclear technology. And, of course, lots and lots of clop.
Thus, my quest was clear: to write something simple, something stupid – something that is actually fun to read.
2. The story starts with a monster-of-the-week formula, but each episode advances the overarching plot so that by the end, we understand enough to confront the true villain. Why did you structure it like that? And how did you balance the pace of the overarching plot (introducing important new characters and story elements) with the need to pace each individual episode so that they are each interesting and fully developed on their own?
Although I randomly blurted the first chapter out one day, all the rest were (mostly) deliberately planned.
What I knew from the start was that A) I'll have to begin with the good old “monster of the week” formula, because it's fun to read, as well as serving as the perfect hook, and B) I mustn't allow the story to drag on for too long, because there's nothing I hate more in a good show than useless filler.
From then, the theory was simple: I'd spend the first few chapters introducing the reader to the Night Shift world and Twilight's character, all the while making them ask questions. Then I'd gradually answer those questions and replace them with new ones.
I had a few vague ideas for individual “episodes” written up, and during the planning stage I just looked through that list to pick what I thought would fit best. Some ideas, such as “Pinkie finds Twilight's equipment; is completely clueless” and “Twilight tracks down a changeling who cuts her a deal for his life” never made it into the fic. Some others, like “Twilight finds victim in creepy hospital” were cannibalised and used in a different form. “Twilight and gravekeeper whack zombies with spades” made it with zero change to the basic concept.
For balancing the overarching plot with individual episodes, the key to success was simple: time. I didn't rush it; look at the release dates between chapters 1 and 2, then between 3 and 4. I took the time to finish the entire fic before publishing chapter 4. This way, connecting the dots of the overarching plot, often retroactively, was a relatively simple affair. The main plot devices to that end were the mysterious “cult” and Omen's character, who were always there to sway Twilight back onto the plot's tracks whenever she strayed too far.
3. The first two thirds of the story are very grounded and sane: Twilight is working for a monster hunting organization, going on missions while gathering clues to lead her to Big Bad. In the last third, she’s delving into the mind of the villain in some kind of prolonged dream sequence / Inception homage / act of hands-on magical psychotherapy. How do you keep that grounded? And how do you know if you have a satisfying ending? For that matter, how do you know when what you’ve written is good?
To answer your last question first, I don't. But that's the beauty of it, isn't it? Being a “writer,” I simultaneously loathe and love every word I commit to virtual paper. When my love is a little higher than my hate, I know I'm onto something. I did have every chapter read by several people before release, too, and I did incorporate their feedback in order to polish the story. But in the end, different readers like different things, and they all have different standards. I could only try, and hope, for the best.
For the portion of the fic you mention – which I collectively refer to as the “dream chapters” – it's really just a bit of cheating; a creative way to circumvent a very practical problem. With Night Shift being limited to Twilight's first person point of view, I had no effective way to provide adequate explanation for everything that had happened so far, even though that's the point of the fic: unravelling the mystery. Once, while I was still working on chapters 2 and 3, someone told me that limiting the POV to Twilight would hurt the story, as “I had no way to get into other characters' heads.” I took that as a challenge.
As for good endings, well, as long as you're not Mass Effect 3, you're probably good.
Seriously though, I'll be damned if I know. For Night Shift, I merely tried to tie up loose ends and provide a, well, satisfying conclusion to the main conflict. There is (well, as of this interview, there will be) also an epilogue at the end which will answer some lingering questions and make for a final conclusion. As I've stated above, the main purpose of Night Shift is to entertain. If the reader stands up from the fic thinking “well, that was a good story!” then I'll have achieved my goal.
4. You said that you were unhappy with the ending and you had to rewrite it. What happened?
Oh, the ending. From the moment it was first conceived, it was a pain in my neck. I kept putting it off during the planning stage – “I'll get to it, later, tomorrow, after lunch, maybe.” What I had, in the end, was the complete body of a story missing its head.
So I sat down, day after day, trying to find a way to approach it. There was a first pass – some ~7000 words long – that had some good elements, but felt rather lacking and rushed. Then a second pass – just over 18k words – was, technically, readable. What had to happen, happened, and I was almost ready to just give in and publish it as such. Note that this was almost a full year after I published chapter 1. To be frank, I just wanted it done.
After some... words of advice from my beta reader made me see that pile of garbage for what it was, I knew I had to rewrite it, from the ground up. It had a long list of issues ranging from pacing to plot contrivances and overall badly planned and just as badly executed ideas.
After the rewrite, the core concept, as well as the best moments from previous drafts are all in there, and what's between them sucks considerably less, while also making a tad more sense. One might say it's good. Then again, I can never know what's good and what isn't, can I?
Really, it's the ending of Night Shift; my little baby's growing up. There comes a time when you just have to let go. I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with it – and that's okay.
5. My favourite plot arc has to be your Lovecraft homage, the Shadow over Horsmouth. Trixie was fun, the monster they fought was creepy, and the cult was even creepier. Plus, the poor little filly! It was a great mix of fluff and horror. How did you balance those elements while maintaining the creepy atmosphere and sense of danger?
The Horsmouth chapters are special to me, because they're based on the first – and so far only – pony-related dream I've had. Before I ever thought of Night Shift, I had this dream in which Trixie and Twilight visit a town where there are only unicorns with dark reddish-black eyes. It turned out that they put something into the water which killed off non-unicorns, while increasing their own magical power. When I was writing up episode ideas, I knew it had to be in there.
The town in the dream was, however, completely normal from the outside; just like Ponyville or any other small town, really. The Lovecraftian stuff was invented specifically for Night Shift.
It follows the basic “2-parter structure,” where we spend the first part learning about the danger (without confronting it) and the new characters. Then the action picks up in part 2 as it rolls towards an explosive finale. Super simple concept.
I went out of my way to make Horsmouth a particularly uninviting place, even sans the “disease” and the cultists, for one reason: atmosphere. I wanted to fascinate the reader, as well as make them feel just a little uncomfortable. I tried to walk on the fine line between real and unreal – Horsmouth had to be a place you can imagine to actually exist, but you'd rather not. Whether I succeeded is not for me to judge.
And, of course, then there's Trixie. It may or may not be apparent, but I always considered Night Shift to be a parody – a parody of the show, and of itself. So you have all this dark subject matter – murder, sacrifice, illness – and facing the evil are two unicorns, old enemies and new friends. Did I mention they're unicorns? Did that sink in? With a concept so ridiculous, I absolutely needed to have some fun, and I built the entire episode on that duality.
Yes, the danger is real; yes, people (ponies) are dying. But Twilight and Trixie, being the eternal snarklords they are, definitely weren't going down without cracking a smile. The contrast between the light, “fluffy” parts and the dark descent into the mountain also makes both stronger by comparison, I think. No light without darkness, as they say.
I originally intended even more banter between Trixie and Twilight, as well as Luna's letter about “looking into Horsmouth” to be present. I cut much of it because not only did it kill the pacing, but I also found that I just simply wasn't smart enough to be consistently entertaining with the endless snarking.
6. In many ways, your Twilight is no longer the pony we know from canon: it opens with her torturing and hacking up Vinyl Scratch, and later she plans to stand by and watch while cultists sacrifice a little filly in the caverns over Horsmouth. How has the world of Night Shift changed her? And how do you show that while still staying true enough to her canon character?
One of the recurring complaints I hear as regards to Night Shift is that Twilight is ridiculously OOC. Which is true. The most common praise it seems to get is, however, that it works. Which I hope is true.
How did she get this way? Well, the answer's right there in the fic. She's become jaded. She keeps telling herself that what she's doing is good, but as the story progresses, she finds it increasingly hard to believe. The story, I feel, starts out where she's farthest from her past (show) self, and she gradually gravitates back towards it. She'll never be the same again, of course; she knows that, and it troubles her.
A stray reference to reading, knowledge of various books, tendency to over-analyse everything, and the occasional “big word” – these are what show that the Twilight Sparkle we know is still in there, somewhere. It's just been a long night for her.
7. Do you have any advice for people who want to write something creepy?
Only what's probably the most cliché piece of advice one can give here: find what you find creepy, and apply it. Consider Horsmouth. Being a city kid with a pedigree, having grown up in a place where there are no mountains within hundreds of kilometres in any direction, those little mountainside villages creep me out. They're so old, and they're so lonely. So isolated. Some houses don't even have phone lines installed. Your mobile phone isn't getting any reception either. And then you see kids running around on a nearby hill, and it's like they don't even know they're in some God-forsaken backwater. To realise that it's home to them – that, to me, has always been just a little bit creepy. Multiply that personal, childish fear to unreasonable levels, and voilà: you have Horsmouth.
And note that “scary” and “creepy” are not the same thing. “Scary” is obvious. Something is out there to get you; your roommate literally has skeletons in his closet. Scaring your audience is an emotional climax after a period of suspense.
Creepiness, then, goes hand in hand with suspense. Suspense is uncertainty. Is that man following you, or did he just coincidentally turn the exact same corners? And why is it that your roommate is acting a bit weird these days? Is he really, or is it just you? You don't know, but you want to, but you can't.
Creepy isn't wrong, and it isn't quite right. It's something familiar cast in an unfamiliar light. It's something that could be nothing.
8. What part was the most fun to write? What part was the hardest?
Most fun? Horsmouth. Hardest? The finale. But I've talked enough about those already.
I really enjoyed writing chapter 13, “We.” I really enjoyed exploring and experimenting with the characters there. That's not to mention the last line, which is, to me, the climax of the entire story. I originally intended to title the chapter “Name,” just because of that. I changed it, though, so it'd be a little bigger of a surprise. Oh, and if the first episodes of season 4 end up being anything like “We,” just remember: you saw it here first!
If we're not counting the finale, I probably had the most trouble with chapter 4. Overall, it's still the one I'm the least satisfied with. I feel that Omen could've had a more powerful introduction, and the monster of the week – the titular zombies – just don't pose a big enough threat. The chapter, thus, ends up lacking focus and overall punch, while also suffering from clunky dialogue. It comes down to bad planning, I believe: I tried to cram too much into too small a space.
Oh, and Omen in general. Keeping his apparent “Mary Sueishness” at a reasonable level was a challenge, and I'm still not sure I managed.
9. Do you feel that you’ve learned anything and grown as an author from writing this story? How does your writing in this one compare to your earlier one, Harmony’s End? Why do you write so many dark stories?
Have I learned anything? Absolutely. They aren't things I could list, but the sheer amount of experience I got from writing Night Shift is invaluable. Comparing Night Shift to Harmony's End isn't even fair. Honestly, I'm kind of ashamed of Harmony's End now. Sometimes I feel like removing it from the site. It's terrible. Hah! Maybe one day I'll look back at Night Shift and feel the same way. Then, at least, I'll know I have improved further.
Why do I write “dark?” The darkness isn't the point to me, really – it's more about the adventure. But no adventure is complete without high stakes, and high stakes are a natural product of darker themes. And while I read a criminally low amount of books – the greatest sin for any aspiring writer – I absolutely adore Lovecraft's insanely convoluted and borderline unreadable prose. I try – and promptly fail – to mimic it, both consciously and subconsciously.
That said, goodness knows I'd write comedy if I could. Fact is, making someone laugh is a lot harder than creeping them out. Someday!
I'm actually ogling the prospect of moving away from ponies and onto original fiction now. Nothing I could publish, of course – I'm nowhere near good enough for that – but I feel it would be a logical step forward. If anything, it'd be an excellent opportunity to learn and practise more.
A great interview. I hadn't seen this story before, I'll have to check it out.
Well, I guess we both share the same sentiments on that: it's what spurred me to write my crossovers, which are essentially a "good guys kick ass" sort of story (I dislike the dreariness some stories bring to the table). It's a shame there aren't any more interesting and explosively awesome reads like yours with interesting ideas.
This is a pretty good story, and it has the best evil name for a certain character that I have ever seen. The entire thing is worth reading for that reveal alone.
Author interviews are always fun, just to get a look into people's heads. But this one is going to make me read the story.
Woot.