• Member Since 30th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 12th, 2014

nocturnalmelodies


People like grapes. I am a people, so therefore I like grapes. Also cats.

More Blog Posts29

  • 533 weeks
    Parting Words

    "Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going."
    Agent David Rossi
    (Criminal Minds: The Slave of Duty (#5.10) (2009))

    I've been watching a lot of Criminal Minds lately. It's been one of my favorite shows for a few years now. One of my favorite things about it is the opening and closing quotes they have for almost every episode.

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    2 comments · 963 views
  • 542 weeks
    Cards Against Humanity Shenanigans The Eleventh

    twow: Rachel. Hey Rachel. Raachel. RachelRachelRachel. Guess what?
    Me: What twow.
    twow: YOU'RE GINGER.

    twow 90% fo the time: I HAVE TWO POINTS.

    twow while laughing maniaclly: Fallen. Fallen I have to tell you somehthing.
    Prime: What.
    twow: *whispering* you're not ginger...

    twow: Rachel, I have so many others I wanna play and they all revolve around Futaloo.

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    9 comments · 697 views
  • 545 weeks
    Cards Against Humanity Shenanigans The Ninth and Tenth

    Oh, by the way, "Alex" is Prime's brother.

    Last Week's that I was too tired to post:

    Prime: why would you stand up?
    Me: Because I like the use of my legs
    Prime: Legs are overrated
    Me: You're overrated.

    Alex: Sometimes I like to cover myself in vaseline and pretend I'm a slug.

    Me: LIsten twow. If you want to get involved wiht Futaloo, I won't stop you. Just steer clear of STD's.

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    10 comments · 751 views
  • 547 weeks
    Cards Against Humanity Shenanigans The Eighth

    twow: I literally don't know which one to pick

    twow: (talking, lots of background noise)
    Me: Twow, I don't know what you actually said, but all I heard was "I have herpes"

    twow: All hail Futaloo.
    Me: PRAISE THE BOP-IT
    twow: A Bob-it with Futaloo on it.
    twow: ...
    twow: Want.
    Me: THE PULL IT PIECE IS SHAPED LIKE A HORSE COCK.
    Me: TWOW WHAT HAVE WE DONE.

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    7 comments · 636 views
  • 548 weeks
    Cards Against Humanity Shenanigans The Seventh

    I never thought I'd be comfortable with Futaloo, but now it's pretty much the only thing I masturbate to.
    (TWOW LOSES HIS SHIT)

    You haven't truly lived until you've experienced Futaloo and Sweetie Belle's virgin marshmallow pussy at the same time.

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    3 comments · 537 views
Sep
22nd
2013

Cards Against Humanity Shenanigans The Third · 4:07am Sep 22nd, 2013

Things I've Learned Tonight:
Twow wants a Hello Kitty vagina vejazzler
futaloo.tumblr.com is a thing that exists
TWOW WILL NOT STOP LINKING PORN IN THE CHAT.
There's a lot of black people at twow's school
WE BROKE LEAH. AGAIN.
I whisper dirty things (like cumfaggots and blowjobs) into my microphone when I get tired.


Me: I found a train. Wait, that's an armored vehicle not a train.

Erik: I googled 'S' and it broke everything.

Prime: Dying in a hang gliding accident the animation
twow: that makes me happy. NO WAIT MY BAD.

twow: You thought I quit didn't you. You were WRONG.

CHRIS: I AM THE CARD SALAD.

TWOW: APPLES.
ME: MANIAC FITS OF LAUGHTER

TWOW: There's something about that shade of yellow that just turns me on.

TWOW: (POSTS LINK TO PORN) LAUGHS MANIACLY

twow: A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with Futaloo

ME: PRAISE THE BOP IT

ERIK: Leah what's your favorite color?
LEAH: Blue.
TWOW: (whispers) It should be black like me

ERIK AND ME: FEEL THE ROCKS AND SMELL THE DIRT

Matt: ;n; why you all picking on me ...because i gave my opinion TnT
ERIK: Because you brutally destroyed (Prime's) virgin asshole last night.

THE ENGLSISH DUB OF FOUR LOKO SUCKS WORSE THAN THE SMALLEST WHITEST DICK
Twow: Kinda like Fallen's.

Me: There's so much yelling
TWOW: Because there's black people.

Prime: There is no Fluttershy. Only Zuul.

TWOW: We should make "Google Ho" my catchphrase. "GOOGLE HOOOOOOO"
Prime: You ARE google's ho.

twow: BEEP BEEP CALL THE POKLICE.

twow: Can't we talk about this over a mug of Icecream?



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