May
27th
2013
i'm a useless fucking tool... · 3:44am May 27th, 2013
that seems to be my fate...
i'm always being used then thrown away... it's to be my lot in life, isn't it?
god....... i hate this... i hate all of this..... i hate this week. i hate this month. i hate this year. i hate everyone. i hate everything...
*breaks down into tears* and everyone and everything hates me...
everyone would be better off if i was....... if i was......
*breaks down into hiccupping sobs and goes into a corner*
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monsterlord18 · 343 views
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No no no no monster I don't hate I love you as a friend and the reason why is you where the first person to follow me on this fandom. And I do care about you so don't kill your self I would serously miss no extremely miss you I would become very depressed you if didThat so
for love of god don't do it, don't throw your life. Like I said before I've. Got your back 100%, and I m kind of going through the same thing in away.
So don't kill your self !
All of us are used, whether once or twice or forevermore,
But to never get abused, honestly, would be quite a bore.
I agree that feeling useless stinks, and I've cried myself to death,
But like melted ice in skating rinks, We can be given useful breath.
Solidity is something we crave, and in this day and age,
We can't succeed unless we behave; first an apprentice and then a Sage.
Carry on my friend, for this life is longer than you think.
Don't sit down and say "the end!" or you'll miss opportunities in a blink.
Cry when you need to, smile when you want. Live and be alive. Be there for your friends and family, and ask them to stand for you. No man's an island, but a household is a break from the storm. Keep living, friend, like I do. No matter how depressed I get, I look up and smile. Do you know why? Because I know that somewhere out there is someone I can help, and someone who can help me. And I aim to find both of them.
This is just getting.. out of hand.
I mean honestly.
I don't appreciate it when people start looking down on themselves and hating themselves for something that they haven't even done. Stop beating yourself up and looking badly at yourself in the mirror for something that couldn't be avoided.
I haven't been in a relationship at all yet in my life, and I plan to keep it that way hopefully until I'm at least 20 years old. Then, I'll feel that I've grown enough to handle a little more in my life other than just myself. Honestly, I've never felt the feeling of being loved by anyone throughout my entire life that isn't a family member.
And I plan to keep it that way.
I have games that satisfy all my wants.
I have my normal life that satisfies all my needs.
As far as I go, I'm happy.
But you know what?
I wasn't a while ago.
I was on the verge of killing myself by drowning myself in the bathtub.
I know what it feels like to hate yourself, so please, by all means, challenge me to your darkest state of mind, and see if I haven't gone deeper into a pit of agony. And I'm only sixteen.
Hell, my sixteenth birthday present was a house fire, which I had to work for six weeks to clean completely, with the help of my dad and his uncle.
So please, by all means, I accept it, PM me, reply to me, whatever you need to do, just challenge me to see if you're going anywhere near where I went in the pits of self-loathing hell.
Also, edit, you're a Brony. You're a fan of a show that is meant to liven you up and cheer you up, keep you smiling.
Where's that smiley now?
Monster...
I don't hate you.
A lot of people don't hate you.
A few people did you wrong. Yes, but that doesn't mean everyone is against you.
No, we would not be better off with you gone.
When I first got of FimFiction, I thought I'd be a nobody. That I wouldn't get followers or story views. You were one of the first people to be my friend here. You've been with me almost sence the beginning, and I'm truly grateful for your friendship.
I know where your coming from, believe me I do. But no matter how much it seems that the whole fucking world is ageist you, you will always have, at least, one friend standing beside you. You, Monster my friend, have more then one. Through all darkness, there is light. Through all pain, there is joy.
Remember this Monster. I, Fire Heart, will be here for you. I will not abandon you. I will not betray you. I will not let my friend down. And I'm not the only one. We're with you Monster, no matter what.
I'm going to be honest, aside from both of us being bronies and writers, I don't know you and I'm not sure if my words can even help. That being said, I'm sure as hell going to try. I've been where you have, depressed and frustrated and unsure of where to go from here. My best advice is this, go ahead and cry, get it all out, and then pick yourself up and realize that this to shall pass. There are people who do love you and appreciate you. Don't give up on youself.
I don't know you, but i know whatyou going through.
I had this feeling too a couple of weeks ago. I felt useless and doubted the meaning of my existence. I thought that it would be better if I die.
But then a friend appeared and i realized that are people out there who care about me. People who would be heart broken when I disappear. And are people out where who feel the same about you.
no not again. your not worthless and people care bout you so please dont cry
First off
That is a lie. Would we comment if we didn't care?
Second
If your going where I think your going then no, and stop thinking that way.
Everyone has to grow up at some point in their life's and take responsibility for themselves and their actions. For some this is sooner then others. I have traveled several paths in my life, some of them darker then the others. I've done and said things that I'm not proud of.
With that being said, I have two scars on my right wrist to remind me of those times. Despite this and what I've been through I push on. Despite everything I've done and the pain I've caused the reason I push on is to try get others to smile. If I can make one other person smile or be happy then I can be happy.
I'm no artist, I'm no writer, I'm no hero, I'm just another guy in this world who is trying to do what little he can to brighten it up.
If nothing else please listen to this, if you wanna talk send me a message here or find me on Skype.
do you honestly think i would be following you if i hated you?
granted i follow all who follow me, but if i didn't like someone...what reason would i have to continue following them? no reason at all, i would just unfollow
the fact that i'm still following you...and all 187 of you other followers are following you...shows that we most definitely do NOT hate you...we like you
so stop thinking this
and stop going where i think you're going with this
Calm down,as you see everyone is supporting you,myself included
Look at what you did here,you wrote some of the best stuff i read before.I even read them again because its friggin good,i kid you not.
Ya did good my friend -pats you- you should give yourself more credit and don't mope around and beating yourself up.
You became part of us as we became part of you,your stories touched our hearts and relight once snuffed flame of life by the harsh world of humans.
True i know the feeling of being used and thrown away like some thing.
But....everytime i am down i hear the voices to get up and start over....i looked for the source and i saw inside me,the collective of warm smiles on their faces,the ones which death took in.....the ones that are far away.....my life teachers.....and in the core of it.....a beating sound of life that everytime shows me a smile on someones face in this world...and thats all i need...a warm,fuzzy,innocent smile full of life.
-giggles and wipes yours tears away- you are not alone -points at your chest- we are all there,no matter the time or place,call us and we are there,by your side in your heart.
Oh no. Oh HELL no.
Don't give up man life will turn around, things will get better they always do.
I may never have found the person I've labeled to the the one that is desirable, so I am incapable of expressing my opinion on how you truly feel.
However,
I am quite capable of telling you that not everyone has an intense distaste in your presence. There will always be a person that will stick out, the one who has ignored your existence or betrayed you, but never forget those who have helped you along your journey, those who have gifted you with their shoulders for you to stand on.
Every man and woman has a purpose in this world, there is no such thing as a useless person. No matter what, never make an attempt on your life. Doing so does not solve anything.
You may not understand your purpose in this world, but nobody truly knows the future. To deny yourself of that future is to deny yourself of another chance.
Whenever life knocks you down, you have two choices, quit the race or keep going.
Just remember that no matter the consequences, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. Whether you see it now or later, you won't know. But the light will not escape you, it never will.
Keep up the race. If you need a shoulder to stand on, we may not be there physically, but we will be there every step you take.
I thought the same thing about myself as you do not to long ago. I had tried to kill myself multiple times, but could never finish. In the end I would just lie on the ground crying, thinking of how life hated me so. Then I had a bit of an epiphany. There are people who have so much worse off (and I know that sounds like a dick thing to say, but hear me out). There are people without their entire families, ones who have to make a living just scraping by. I'm not trying to be an ass, trust me I know where your coming from on this, but everyone will find that one person that is meant for them someday. Nil Durum Volenti "Nothing is difficult for the willing." Are you willing to keep trying until things turn out okay, no matter how difficult it is, or how much it hurts. Because even though I have never felt the embrace of my significant other (reason being I've never had one), I can tell you it WILL be worth the wait, and the pain. And when you find you other half you'll have found that one person that can (line stolen from Three Days Grace) "Keep it together when you've come undone." I know that it's hard to find those people who care, but in the end it's ALWAYS worth it.
I hope you feel better soon. Because it would be a shame for this to pain to hurt longer then it needs to.
I'm not going to say i know how you feel or I've been what you've been though. but I am going to say this. i have been let go by someone i like multiple times (like 4 times by the same one) and on a different occasion i have tried to kill myself. But i'm still alive and i figure if I lived this long there must be a pretty damn good reason I'm still alive today. the same goes for you. nobody ,as far as i could tell, hates you. I myself see you as a friend. If you think that your useless or that people hate you then I think that you should hang with me sometime because I felt that way many many times and i'm not even that old. But your still alive and there are people that love you and respect you. (me being one of them) now I know that I don't know you other than on here but that doesn't mean I want you to leave and from what i can see neither do these guys. so if you need some one to talk to or hang with message me.(i don't have Skype or a microphone though) so just remember there will always be someone there for you. you just have to reach out to them.Also did you know kangaroos can't hop backwards? I hope you feel better though
If everyone hates you.......Then what does that make us? You know darn well that we're your friends, and will always be here for you!
Before I was a Brony, I was going to kill myself....I felt like no-one liked me, I felt was alone.
Then, I found you guys, my now Brothers and Sisters, my second family, you were all there for me....And I'll be damned if I see one of my Brothers sad.
Don't feel like you're worthless, or hated,
you are loved, and without you, this world would not be the same. You have brought a smile on my face more times than I could count, whether it be from a joke, a video, or even just a pic, I love to see others around me happy, so cheer up, everything happens for a reason, everything thats happening to you right now, is forming you into who you are, so keep a big, cheeky grin, and as the line goes,
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
And we're only geting stronger from here. We got your back bro.
Tell me this: "What is the nature of a hero?" Some say it is sacrifice, that a hero will do anything to help others. Some say compassion, that a hero will always care for others. Some say say failure, that not matter how hard a hero fights, they will always have shortcomings and fail. But me, I say the nature of a hero is to be hated. Because a hero will do everything in their power to do the right thing, which in most cases means taking things from people they refuse to give. A true hero continues on when hated by everyone, especially when their hate isn't justified, because it is really in their best interest that the hero stays alive to help them even when they don't think they want help. And so, if everyone, and everything seems to hate you, well that makes you a hero in my book.
1107040
I think this poem got the point across pretty well. Please don't let yourself be consumed by hate, I don't want you to die. Just because things aren't looking good now doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of love and hope in your life. A broken bowl can be put back together, you just have to want to reassemble it.
1108075 Thank you. I am not always so clear with my words, and I appreciate the... Not gratitude, but the words of appreciation? I'm forgetting the word I want.
I can never tell if these are real. I know I'm being a prick, but really.
if he has the ability to type out this stuff,then he doesn't feel as bad as he says he does...