My Little Mommies could be much better. · 10:05am Apr 13th, 2013
Hey all. I set this post to alert all readers of MLM, because it's directly related. If that bothers you, I apologize. I know some people don't like getting blog alerts.
The response my fic got when I first posted it was amazing, I can't stress that enough. As a first time writer, I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't what I got. Cries of "moar!" and compliments on how well written it was; It was a big self esteem boost at a time when I really needed it.
However, the very real reality, that I've come to accept recently, is that it needs a lot of work. Several things caused me to realize this -- reading other fanfics and then looking back at my own and seeing how flat the characters were by comparison, getting a second strike when submitting to EQD despite making extensive revisions, and some other little things not worth mentioning.
I think the biggest root of my problem is that I don't use "action tags," like, at all. For a long time I thought it looked weird to have an action right next to something said.
"Sure thing pardner." Applejack grinned. "Come back anytime, ya hear?"
I don't think that anymore, but because I thought that almost all my writing is like this:
"Sure thing pardner," Applejack said with a grin. "Come back anytime, ya hear?"
And it's like that over and over again. He said, she said, he asked, they answered, he called, they screamed. The EQD prereader called it talking head syndrome. I also think the way I indent is wrong.
Anyway, what am I getting at here? Basically, I'd like some help with editing. I know there are a few groups for that, and I'm going to start looking into those too, but I thought I'd start here. What I'd like to do is create an unpublished "chapter X" that's a copy of an earlier chapter, give interested people the password, so they can see the changes I make and suggest more, and revise it until it's ready to replace the original chapter.
Even if you're not interested in that, if you notice any grammatical errors in the fic, pointing them out would be much appreciated. (I looked at chapter 7 again recently and I REALLY f'd up the dialogue punctuation in that one. And it was like that for months. >.< The story comments, comments on this post, or even PMs would be fine. I reread the entire fic from start to finish every so often but I still come across little things I just glance over, even when I'm looking for errors.
And before you worry that I'm gonna spend all my time fixing and no time writing new stuff, it's not like I'm planning on stopping all updates while I revise. The next chapter should be out today or tomorrow, but it's a chapter being written with my previous shortcomings in mind. What that means is that it should be much better, and hopefully more in line with what I want the rest of the fic to be.
-3Power
In a weeks time I've got nothing to do for two weeks, so I can help during that time and it will also help me improve my own stuff by working on others; which I find strangely easier to do.
1004195 I agree. I can not seem to sit down and write my own stories, but sit me in front of someone else's story, and I've had people ask me "How the hell did you know I wanted that to happen?" or say "Damn, that's better than what I had planned..."
But put me in front of my own story, and all my creativity just dies like it has the plague.
I am personally impressed by the story and plot to the point I probably overlooked any grammatical issues other then the very rare typo. It really is fantastic with more moments of genuine non-cheap feels and thrills and brilliant characterization in a single chapter than some fics manage in their entirety.
Of course it's not perfect, nothing is, and you should never ever stop trying to improve. And the prereader criticism can definitely help that, even if it does not get posted. But don't think the story doesn't have incredibly strong merits just because of a few flaws.
I am very willing to assist in helping you make this a better story so feel free to include me in your efforts if you'll have me.
I do recommend that instead of a FiMFic unpublished chapter, you use a GDoc, so that the editors/reviewers/proofreaders can all chat in doc, as well as provide direct editing notes via the "highlight text and comment" system (I do not recommend giving editorship) which can be responded to so that the notes can be disputed or given consensus. I have found that GDocs is the best way for proofreaders and authors to all interact. For instance, you can highlight and comment on special areas of attention, or chat with the proofreaders for on the spot input. And then make the changes live in doc. Also Fimfiction has a GDocs import function I believe. It's kind of crappy though.
Good to know your so willing to improve.
Goodluck!
I would love to help I have extra time after school every weekday and I have tones of time on weekends. I enjoy revising so it would be fun for me!
I thought the story was great even if it had a bunch of mistakes so don't real down about it.
i wouldn't have much faith in EQD prereaders, i have come upon so many wonderful stories that are never even mentioned in there, have you heard of "Dear Sweetie Bell" it is a great story that got rejected and discarded as shit by a prereader of EQD, even when he didn't understand the story, now that story spawn a sequel and two other stories "Dear Aplebloom and Dear Scootaloo" making it a trilogy, so yeah EQD prereaders, not to be trusted, god knows how many they have, and how neutral and clear minded they do their job, i wouldn't be surprised if there are many that let their personal tastes influence which stories get featured in there.
in all seriousness i loved every chapter of MLM, the conflicts that they have encountered so far, the touching moments, the amazingly funny pieces here and there, the originality of the story itself, and at the risk of sounding cliche, the amazing amount of feels that i got reading it.
its great that you are trying to make it better, but just don't let it eat you out, you are doing a great job at it
and in the hope that what i´m about to do cheer you up and give you strength (while also venting my wishes
) here it goes
if that's okay with you 
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
It is useless to try to go for a high EQD standard unless your story is already close to that.
Wow, um, kinda missed the bus, but I would love to proof for you. I found your world-building interesting. I'm not that great at dialogue either, but I have a nice grammar-hammer that's just sitting in my closet, gathering dust. I'm also great at criticizing. And that came out wrong.
Hmm, a story delayed for a bit because EQD is stressing you out.
...
Please don't feel discouraged! Also, please don't stop updating. I know this post went up a long time ago, but I just found it when I was looking for reasons why this hadn't updated in a while. So, yeah. I love this story. Don't stop.