My Little Mommies Rewrite imminent. · 10:32am Mar 2nd, 2014
I have good news and bad news.
The good news is I am working on MLM again.
The bad news is I'm rewriting it, so for a little while (say the first five chapters or so) we're going to be covering some familiar ground.
The other piece of good news is that I'm confident it will be a piece of fanfiction that deserves the amount of followers and attention that it managed to accrue.
I have contacted the people who offered to edit for me and I will post the first chapter as soon as it's okayed. That could be today, or it could be later this week. I don't foresee it being much longer than that. If you are currently interested in editing and didn't offer before, simply mail or write something in the comments and I'll send you the google docs link.
Anyway, when it's okayed I will compile the complete original version of the story into a single chapter and put it at the bottom. This means that the comments on the story chapters currently up will become invisible to everyone but me, so if you happened to enjoy the discussion or something, now's the time to back it up.
I realize that probably wouldn't matter at all to most people, but it is the kind of thing that would bug me, so yeah.
Now then, what exactly is going to make this rewrite different from the original? (If you'd rather find out by reading, now's the time to stop. Rest assured I won't cover anything not covered in the original chapters)
Meta stuff:
For one thing, I have prereaders now. I did have one before, but he sort of gradually quit and then I said, "Meh, who needs him?"
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Next, I'm doing my very hardest not to rush through things. What's funny is that I was once told this story got forever to get going, yet from my own standpoint I was rushing through everything. Explanations, drama, telling the families of the ponies that they had a kid. Point is, I'm trying not to gloss over anything anymore and give every part of the story the attention it deserves.
Next, planning. The story is WAY, WAY more planned out than it used to be. I now know, for instance, how each pony unlocks their Love-powerup, whereas before I only knew Rainbow's and Rarity's (which has now changed, incidentally) This means I can now build towards those plot arcs appropriately instead of having them fly out of nowhere.
The story is canon again.
Princess Twilight, reformed Discord, Pinkie and Applejack are distantly related, there are other major mirrors (and mirror pools), the elements of harmony are gone, all resolved within the story. I'm trying to avoid fight scenes until I find out what's in that box though. 'Course, my plans are still dashed the moment a parent we haven't seen shows up.
Babies!
Babies are hard to write for. The whole reason I did the timeskip was because I thought the babies doing something other than crying and pooping would make that easier. (It didn't) So, I tended to avoid it, which is kind of dumb given that it was what drew people to this fic anyway. Point is, I'm trying to focus a lot more on the babies this time around. I don't want them to just be props.
Luna is darker.
Think modern batman vs. TV show batman. I feel like anything else I say would be a spoiler so...
Accents and stuff
I was horribly inconsistent with Rat Race's accent, so now he doesn't have one. Good riddance. Luna also doesn't talk like she did in Luna Eclipsed, since she hasn't done show in any other appearance. Good riddance to that too. I was tired of correcting all the mistakes I made with thee and thou and the like.
There is other stuff, but I think I hit the major points.
Thank you to everyone that waited patiently (and to those that periodically kicked me in the ass in an attempt to get me moving again.) You won't have to wait much longer.
-3Power
I am so unbelievably excited for this
Those fixes sound okay, just as long as you don't rush to keep up with anything more. No fanfiction that relies this much on the FiM mythology can possibly survive developments in future seasons. You'll just find yourself in a neverending race to constantly adjust.
And I noticed that in the later chapters, you started downplaying Spike's wit, writing him off as a generic child. (The show's staff is sinking into that territory as well...) Spike is a wry, sardonic wiseass, and I hope you'll bring that back to bear. That, and his new responsibility as a dad/uncle/godfather to his friends' kids, which you set up and never followed through on.
Anyway, that said, I believe it's time to celebrate.
I didn't have many problems with the original, but I read it casually at best.
However, two problems I saw with the original are massive tonal inconsistency (cutesy and fun to GRIM!dark) and the random jabs you decided to take at the season three finale in later chapters. I liked MMC, seeing a fic I enjoyed trying to tear it down did a lot to cause me to lose interest.
Best of luck with the rewrite, I look forward to seeing what you do with the story going forward.
Egh... Given that I found Season 3 to be a pile of horseapples and have found most of what I've heard about the major developments of Season 4 to be less than stellar (admittedly I haven't actually watched any of S4, but the removal of the elements of harmony is one of the worst moves I can possibly conceive), I can't say that I'm happy about this new direction you're taking. I found the story to be perfectly fine as is. Still, it's your story so you do what you feel is best with it, especially if you've already started.
I'm going to miss the old story, though.
Yay!
Excited to see this story get updated to be current-canon-compliant. Honestly I'd kinda forgotten about it.
And man are you right about prereaders. Having some friendly eyes to look over your work before it hits the public helps you polish your work a lot better than you could reasonably be expected to do yourself.
i for one think its fine just in its own universe and doesn't need to re rewritten. But thats just me so go ahead but I want new chapters soon.
Not sure how to feel about "The Story is Canon Again" since all fan fiction can be considered to be alternative universes.
But I have no issues with the other aspects you're working on.
Looking forward to this!
If you want to rewrite it for quality, that's your prerogative and I look forward to seeing it since I loved the first version back when it was updating. However, you really shouldn't worry about making your story "canon." Events happening that aren't a part of the show are what fanfiction is all about. You don't want someone grossly out of character or to blatantly contradict fact, but when you're dealing with events in the storyline like the abolition of the elements of harmony or Twilight's forced princesshood, you can always say a story takes place before those events and there are no problems.
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Ditto!
Looking forward to it.
I had thought for a while this story had died. Good to see one of my top 3 coming back.
-Reader Out-
Sooo, Aurora's moms are now an ALICORN and a Pegasus?
Can she still not fly or are you killing that point of drama? Cuz that whole Alicorn thing kinda throws a monkey wrench into that.
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Noted. FYI, because I know you like Spike, he is not mentioned in the current version of the first chapter, because I couldn't think of a way to establish that he was staying in Manehattan without it seeming too "as you knowy" His location is set to be mentioned at the start of chapter 2, where he will make an appearance though. In other news, I don't think his Dinky and rat subplots are going to make it into the rewrite, they caused too many problems.
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I assume you're referring to angel being stepped on. I think angel is still going to be injured in one way or another, but I'm going to try and do it is a less gory way. As for the jabs, yeah, there's gonna be less meta jokes in general. They didn't age well. The original first chapter had a forty cakes and an inception joke.
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It actually doesn't. ;) She's still an artificial Alicorn lacking the Earth Pony magic to harmonize the other two types, causing one to dominate and overpower the other. Only thing Princess Twilight really changed was that alicorns are made, not born.
On a slightly related note (and something that should really have gone in the post) Golden Apple is an earth pony now. That means the cover art is out of date.
1888650 I'm going to miss the old story,
But I hope the new one will be good.
I was worried that I would never see it again. I just love this story epically the little ones. Well here's hoping that it will be done and we can read it again.
I am excited to see you rewriting the story, however the only thing I was none to happy with was that it's not complete
. I have no issues with the story that is already here but putting an ending out of the blue in it.. after only seeing that RD managed to make a star by using her element.. that was off putting. Granted I will give the benefit of a doubt that wasn't the intention but you really should finish something that is already amazing before letting us see the future.
Now on the Future prospect, I liked it. Makes me think that you are willing to make a sequel to this story and that is another thing I an hoping and anticipating for.
If you don't I will cut you... 
. The fact you have melded the main six personalities into a single foal is a great display of how parents affect their young. Not to mention the explanation of Dinky, and why Ditzy Do lived with Carrot top.
All in all I must say I always come on here looking for the next chapter to this story. Plus your story is the only incomplete one I have in my read later section should tell you something about what I like to read. Though the rest are completed, your's is always something I am looking forward to and when you are finished with the rewrite, I will of course have to start from chapter 1 again.
Not to thrilled but like Twilight, 
I enjoy reading a good story. Your's is among the top on my list. I hope to see this running soon. I want to see if the other elements manage to make stars, or if they find out how RD managed to do that. 
As long as I somehow get updates on what chapters have been updated when so I can read them, I'm happy. I enjoyed the old story, and hopefully what made it so enjoyable will still be there.
But... why? It was perfect as it was!
1889239 Again, I discover you reading a clean story. My mind is blown!
About the "Now it's canon", *pftt!* Who cares? Nowadays, fics can take what has been stated as fact when they were started and then continue with a blank slate. Since a lot of people have stated this point before, I don't feel that elaborating more on that would be correct.
Also, why dropping DinkyxSpike subblot and Goldy's... umm... horn (
). Those have potential for very cute shenanigans 
This is one of the best fics on the site and if you want to polish it shinier, I'm glad to help.
Especially since it means MOAR!
See ya in the doc on Tues.
I think it's fine as is, but the inclusion of canon events should open up more options. In any case you should archive the old story for anyone who cares.
1888650
So is it only drawing on Twilight's unicorn genetics, then? This would imply that Alicorns are genetically their original race, and the other two parts are essentially glued on like a fake horn and wings, but the real thing.
Is...Rarity not actually contributing her unicorn nature anymore? That seems like kinda a bum deal. Candy Cloud gets wings and earth-pony-ness, Aurora gets a horn and (partially functional) wings, and Golden Apple gets...to be a full earth pony?
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Dude, just stop. Season 4 has been stellar so far. There have been a few "bad apples," but nothing on the scale of what S2 and S3 did wrong. The removal of the Elements has not affected the story at all, and paved the way for a freaking season long myth-arc! If anything it's an AWESOME decision. Watch the show.
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I would sorely like to believe you. But while I may not have actually WATCHED the episodes of S4, I have been keeping tabs on the various developments and synopses of episodes, as well as reading multiple reviews of them. I have heard of maybe three or four episodes that I maybe might have wanted to see. And after how badly season 3 turned out I don't think I could bear anymore heartbreak.
So no thanks. I ask you to please stop telling me what I should and shouldn't do and/or think.
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What I'm saying is give it a chance and make up your mind, rather than letting reviewers do it for you. If you let someone else tell you that something is bad and so never watch it, how can you ever find if the same would be true for you?
And no, "my opinions generally coincide with X" doesn't count
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I don't think 3Power would appreciate this discussion to go much further on his blog, so this will be my last comment on the matter.
The short answer is no thank you. I'm content with the first two seasons. I would respectfully ask that you respect my decision.
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It's more of a, "well, if I'm rewriting it, I might as well make everything canon again" thing.
I suffered from "earth ponies are basically useless syndrome" when I selected the foals' races, and it was something I regretted later on. Now we have a pegasus, an earth pony, and a functional unicorn in the main 3, and if you include dinky you have the three main races and a !alicorn, which feels a lot better than three unicorns and a pegasus, balance wise. As for Dinky x Spike... what's the point of that, really? Both of them have bigger fish they should be frying within the story. I might make reference to it later on, but it won't be in the whole "ooh I'm dinky and I'm head over heels" way. If anything it will be a gradually developing friendship over both of them being way more intelligent than other ponies/creatures their age.
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I think what you're forgetting is that the mirror is grabbing DNA data at random. Just because a unicorn is on the mirror doesn't mean whatever pops up is automatically going to have unicorn magic and a horn.
Hazza, I say, I eagerly await the rewrite
1888650
The Angel scene is the one that comes to mind, but a lot of the stuff with Rat race seemed darker that the rest of the fic. But rather than going by memory, I am rereading MLM, and rather than clog up the comments here I'll shoot you a PM when I have some concrete examples in hand.
Oh, and good luck with this rewrite! I look forward to seeing what you do with the story.
The story it lives!
So I just finished my reread of MLM, I posted my thoughts to this blog.
Darker Luna? Why can't we have campier Luna? I want her prancing around saying "ZOUNDS" and giving lots of cheesy one-liners. Batman: The Brave and the Bold was the best thing that ever happened to
AquamanBatmanI would like to help edit/proofread! I have previous experience if that's something you would like your editors to have.
BUT I LIKED THE ACCENTS
Ah well I look forward to this maybe since i kinda stopped reading (Stopped getting update notes for some reason but yay i got this one)
I don't think you should hold yourself to making it fit in canon. I mean, it'd be interesting how you weave the events of S4 into it and all, but you could reasonably achieve the same thing by saying that it takes place at some point between MMC and Princess Twilight Sparkle and not have to really worry about bridging episode plot points into the story until you need to/have to. In fact, you could probably work in the S4 opener as part of the climax of the story or something (or part of an arc that does away with the Elements in some fashion), and I think it'd work just as well. 'course there's the whole "Your story, your choice" disclaimer, but yknow.
Still, I wish you luck in the rewrite, and I'll enjoy this.
Oh no, I saw this on your page and thought it was recent, now I'm sad lol
3000459 Literally over two years later...