• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

Merc the Jerk


Merc's fic guide: by Bookplayer: Is there kicking and/or punching? [Yes/No] Have you considered adding kicking and/or punching? [Yes/No] Have you considered adding more kicking and/or punching?

More Blog Posts190

  • 230 weeks
    New Pc

    Finally got my new rig in, and by God that's got me motivated homies. We're gonna be getting some shit and getting it out pronto, now that I'm not stuck in 2011's tech. Expect some actual honest-to-God progress now, as I won't be doing things in exciting potatovision™

    So, now that that's out of the way, how have you all been?

    5 comments · 403 views
  • 253 weeks
    AMERICA WINS

    4TH OF VICTORY OVER TEA DAY APPLAUD AND BLOW SHIT UP NOW BROTHER YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

    1 comments · 284 views
  • 257 weeks
    Having trouble waking up in the morning?

    THEN YOU NEED THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR BABY, THE POWER TO KEEP COMING AND NEVER STOP, THE POWER TO GET RAN OVER BY LAWNMOWERS AND ELEPHANTS AND TO JUMP FROM THE HIGHEST BUILDINGS MAN.

    AND IF THAT DON'T WORK JUST LISTEN TO HIS WORDS OF WISDOM, JACK

    2 comments · 240 views
  • 269 weeks
    New Blog Post

    I realized I hadn't posted anything here since Christmas. Holy cow does time fly, am I right? But it doesn't swim, as it hates getting wet in the same way most cats do.

    Read More

    1 comments · 350 views
Apr
4th
2013

Watcher promotion! · 8:24pm Apr 4th, 2013

Ok, if anyone's game, I've decided to do a little bi-weekly thing for my followers with stories of their own. Using the latest developments in science and technology, I've devised a system that allows me to select one of my peeps, and promote him vigorously to the masses.

Can you not see the science behind my formula?!

Using this new design, I feel I'll be able to give attention to people, and maybe grant them followers of their own. Today's selection via a random dice roller program an intense mathematical calculation is...

Kartel: A man of many words. Some of them even true and insightful. He's been a bud that's followed me even before I started writing humanized--aka, the man's way to pony. While he has done dark fics in the past that have met respectable standards, the real work I enjoy from him is comedy and slice of life fics. Here's a recent example to whet your appetite, a nice lill' slice of life fic that's pleasant to read.

And, well, that's that. I figure if people are interested, I'll try to make this a bi-weekly deal. All you have to do on your end is write something, be a follower, and an under-the-table deal of $20. (I accept checks. Not cheques though. Next time, speak American--it's the only language I understand.) And if this idea doesn't intrest people, oh well. Guess that just means I'll have to use my blog for the ususal--pointless promotion for fics nobody cares to read, things I ate for lunch (chicken nuggets because I haven't been to the grocery store since the Clinton administration), and more dong jokes than you can shake a stick at.


"Stick," of course, being a totally rad euphuism for "penis," in this scenario.

Man, all these images, center alignment and unfunny jokes? I should be writing for Cracked! BRB, filling out an application.

Report Merc the Jerk · 653 views ·
Comments ( 11 )

I can see you fitting in well on Cracked. Maybe you could write a decent Brony article for them.

981170
I'm sadly too Conservative to fit in with almost the entire Cracked staff. Well, except for Seanbaby. That man is a bro4lyfe.

*Wears Sunglasses, trench coat, and Mustache. Eyes shift back and forth* ... So that $20... cash or credit card?

You seriously get about as hard and many a laugh out of me as Cracked does. I think you'd fit in well, regardless. I know I wish I was funny and good at coming up with ideas to write for them, myself.

I think that's a great idea! (No, not just because I'm following you). But it is though, really. I'm always looking for something to add to my reading list. I look forward to these...now, to look at that story.

Merc, you are awesome. :pinkiehappy:

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