Signal boost: One Is Silver · 5:38am Jan 3rd, 2013
Let's get one thing straight before I start: Not to put too fine a point on it, I think that the Victorian era is the ass end of the body of English-language novels.[1]
Yes, yes, it was foundational to everything we like about long-form literature, and there were certainly bright points, but by and large it was just embarrassing in retrospect. As much as I like the idea of being paid by the word, this was an era before the kinks had been worked out of that particular system. Dickens and the Brontes are suitable mainly as torture tools for the Literature Inquisition. If you're ever strapped to a chair in a dark room with a speaker playing a recorded reading of a 19th-century novel, pray to the gods to save your sanity, because nothing else will.
Now:
If you agree with me, please do yourself a favor and stop reading this blog post.
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Still with me? Alright. Let's talk about ponies.
I stumbled across a story on the front page that I think you'll like more than I did. That must sound like faint praise, and in a specific way it is; but I can definitely say the story -- and its new-to-FIMFic author -- deserve more than the 50 views it will get before it falls into complete obscurity.
Here's the story's main problem: It's got almost literally everything about its presentation working against it. (The story has a rambling description and no photo; the first chapter is 10k words; it's from a totally new author; and it has the dreaded Human tag.) There is one other issue that stopped me from reading after Chapter 1: it feels oh so Victorian. The prose is languid, meandering, lavish. I hesitate to say "purple," because that also implies to me a certain gratuitousness and desperation which I don't sense here, but it will probably twig off your violet sensors. That was a dealbreaker for me, but that's just my brain damage.
You'll note that the list of new-authorial sins is conspicuously missing "unedited," "unoriginal," and "unambitious". It is none of those things. Despite the fact I found it a slog, I'd go so far as to say most people would find this a good story.
In fact, the worldbuilding is up there with some of the best I've read; the humanized-ponies premise is meticulously constructed, and in fact is the focus of the whole first chapter. You should go read it simply to find out how the alicorns died, which is so brilliant I may have to steal it.[2]
Without further ado, a vein of quartz, with promising glimmers of gold, from the barren granite wasteland of the front page: One is Silver.
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[1] Among the very worst of the Victorian writing style's sins is that it comes so goddamn naturally to me. I can churn out in minutes, in a single unbroken take, a demonstrably entertaining pastiche in a style that I can barely stand to read.
[2] If you honestly can't be bothered to go give a new author some love, then here: Discord unleashes a contradiction virus on the world, which only kills things that cannot die. This is also set up as a later plot point in a clever way that speaks well for the author's skills.
Ouch. The Feghoot in me is glad, but I suffer so....
I haven't read a story from the front page in weeks.
I will do ask you ask, friend.
I... I don't know what to say...
Some tears were shed this day. Bittersweet tears. The best kind.
...Thank you.
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...but...
... I was going for Steinbeck...
...Dangit...
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"Bittersweet" wasn't the effect I was going for, and I have to admit I'm severely worried that something I said is being taken the wrong way. But you're thanking me, so ...? I hope no harm done? Can we take a few seconds to clear the air?
(Argh. Stupid words. That's the eternal curse of being a writer: I'm just good enough at words to get myself into trouble.)
The purpose of this post was nothing more nor less than to get your story -- which truly does deserve more exposure -- extra attention from people who will appreciate it more. Different readers have different tolerances for various levels of detail. My tolerances are generally low. I did find it difficult getting through your story, but I didn't directly say so because it wouldn't have been useful feedback for you. I am not your target audience. I wrote this in hopes of helping you find them.
The thing is: just because something is a slog doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. I sincerely meant every compliment I gave above, and in your comments; you've constructed it well, and I sincerely think most people would enjoy it. I forced myself to finish chapter one, and I'm glad I did, because the ideas were fantastic. I am selective about the writers I follow. My desire to keep reading your (other) work is genuine.
Finally, please don't take anything in the first section personally. I am emphatically not saying anything about your story until "Let's talk about ponies." The first section is a general rant about a genre that I have significant problems with for other reasons irrelevant here. You're not actually writing a Victorian novel. It just feels like one to me, fairly or unfairly, most likely unfairly, and that shouldn't reflect on your actual story at all.
H
Confession time: I can't stop myself from coming back here--time after time.
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I will, at some point after you've finished editing the existing material, revisit the story in another blog post, because it's improved so much it's really worth another look.
(I hope you kept a copy of the original posted version of the story, because a compare-and-contrast would be really illuminating.)
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I happen to, actually. It's over on my DeviantArt, which I mainly got for this story and since abandoned, as this site serves me better.