REVIEW [NSFW!] Uncorinthian BY Petrichord (Random Recommendations in <50 words #7) · 9:43pm May 1st
[Adult story embed hidden]
Overall. Dost thou propose also to conquer Limestone's frigid abyss?
Best lines:
“Pa!” Limestone bellows. “The dick’s here!”
Something warm and taut brushes up against my side. I look over to see Marble gently pressing up against me, her belly pushing into my coat, looking completely deaf to the outside world.
“He’s an apple! Do I really have to be the one to say it?” Limestone fires back. “You can make him be like a pie all you like, but he’s got his own family, his own clan, and none of the rest of them are like us at all!
Limestone jabs a hoof at Igneous. “Pretend everything is fine and being too polite and stiff to say no for good, even while my sister keeps ballooning out because of the dick who stuffed himself in her, a dick who’s so eager to get with a mare that it gets erect at the dinner table?” [...]
“Don’t be jealous, Limestone.”
Limestone’s smirk vanishes. It’s replaced first by utter shock, then white-hot fury, then barely suppressed rage as she steps away from the dinner table, looking ready to either explode or lunge at Marble.
I can just barely see her forehoof whip around to cover her mouth, turning what would otherwise be a delighted squeal into a muffled whimper of pleasure.
Marble’s body twists [...]
Worst lines
A planet begging to be colonized.
It’s so obvious that she needs release.
Why read? Family dynamics interesting; great intimacy; emotional and physical tension; believable pairing
Flaws. Some lapses into cliché and some mechanical distractions
Meta: Skim-read? ✔ Full-read? TBC Recommend Author? TBC
Final thought. Get in (the bit below) my belly
Final roasting of the inevitable cliche
that meme, wtf
it's kind of awesome Petri showed up both here and in TCC's recommendations on the same day :)
heh :P
also, it's no coincidence. I saw Petri's fic reviewed there and wanted to review another one of their fics (I'm not a romance reader/reviewer, so I couldn't review the same fic TCC did)
Me trying to write drama: "Okay yes so this is what causes clashes in personality and point of view, here's how it could empower the narrative, alright i can already envision this let's go."
Me trying to write sex: "uhhhh fuck okay i guess a metaphor goes here???? and then insert peg A into slot B???? fuck how do people do this for money"
5779057
:D it was a good stab at it. I enjoyed the fic a lot :)