March 2024 Update + Indefinite Hiatus · 5:26am March 14th
Hi. I guess this is technically my first update in 2024.
I don't know how many are actually looking at these at this point, but you might or might not care that I am doing alright. My mental health is improving since my last update. Depression has mostly subsided by now, though I'm still recovering. My biggest source at work is gone so that certainly eases the burden. I'm in a much better situation than I was prior, at least I haven't tried to off myself again like I did many years ago (long story, don't ask).
I'm going to be completely honest, I originally started this post with the intention to announce an indefinite hiatus, possibly with the chance of not returning to this venture due to lack of interest and other priorities in life.
But... The brony community, despite its weirdness and its flaws, has defined an entire decade of my life. I just don't have the energy I once did anymore to continue with projects like ESZ or QCC with any real earnest, I was pretty ready to quietly abandon these projects for other non-pony ventures as I work on sorting out my 30s. I had the old post written, I had put the stories on hiatus, and was ready to post this as an indefinite goodbye.
I just can't do it, this place and my experiences here just mean so much to me. There is a weird sentimental value I have with my work and everything I've done for the fandom (which admittedly isn't much, but it's more than I certainly expected). So let me just say this:
I, at the very least, want to finish the two major projects I have started before moving on for good. I just need some closure. I created this account and entered the fandom over a decade ago and so much has happened in that time, yet I don't feel I'll truly be able to move on unless I write those final chapters. I don't know when or how long it will take, or even how many people really care, I feel like I need to do this. If nobody else than for myself, I owe it to myself.
With that said, I'm going to just say I'm working on QCC Episode 6, and I'll look into trying to do a continuation project for ESZ. I have a plan for the latter, I just want to get a start for it before I post, you can expect a proper-ish ending for ESZ that will lead into the project. It might be awhile, I frankly have other interests and obligations right now that I prefer to focus on because frankly, I don't do this for a living and haven't really gotten much out of it aside from the fun of it. It's just time I stop lying to myself about that.
Anyway, I do not have an ETA on when either of these will come to fruition, you'll just have to look out for them. Until then, I hope the best for you. Life is less like a road and more like a maze that you're dropped right in the middle of with no way of knowing how close you are to one of the many exits that will put you into bigger, slightly better labyrinths. Some people can get out of that maze immediately while others spend their entire life treading through it, and that's fine because the point isn't to avoid the maze altogether, it's to find a maze you enjoy exploring. You might find the exit right away or you might be walking for eternity, but one thing is for sure, you'll never find it if you just sit there and stagnate; So just keep moving forward.
I haven't quite found that one maze yet I'm satisfied with, but at the very least I'm walking down a slightly less shitty one right now.
I wish you good luck and I hope that everything will be alright.
Don't give up. Never give up.
Thank you for all your hard work.