Friendship is Card Games: Tell Your Tale, Pt. 18 · 1:05pm Dec 24th, 2023
Merry Christmas Eve! I can’t promise any legendary Elf Artificers in this blog, but I can promise the end of Tell Your Tale, Season 1. Depending on how you feel about it, that might be even better.
We begin with an ending, andI don’t see any way this can end well. Either it will be horribly rushed and compressed or an hour of Make Your Mark can be compressed into five minutes without losing anything.
The outtakes of Opaline’s declaration of triumph are already more memorable than anything she did in “The Roots of Evil.” And I do appreciate how she’s gotten that raccoonicorn on board with no need for mind control.
It’s good to see a mare who can laugh at herself. Honestly, one of the moments where I can most respect Opaline. After all, what was that take?
Huh. Ponies are a lot more accommodating than I would be if sent a random video message from someone I didn’t know. That’d get deleted unread immediately. (Also, Posey saying “Do I know you?” to the mare who stole her cutie mark right in front of her in Make Your Mark was… a choice.)
“I liked that cutie mark. Sad.”
Windy doesn’t seem to grasp the magnitude of the situation. Or any situation.
Knowing that “fire alicorn” basically means “demon” does cast Opaline in a new light. I wish we’d gotten that information earlier.
The Tell Your Tale takes on Opaline’s binding magic do work better. They look a lot more like magic than fire she’s set to “stun.” (You’d think the latter would be more effort for the animators, while looking worse, but they may have already had the effect in place.)
“Aren’t you a little old to believe in fairy tales?”
She was literally abducted by fairies as a foal, Opaline, she’s justified.
Oh, televising the final clash between alicorn is a very interesting angle to take.
The thought occurs that dueling a pyromancer right next to the roots of the tree holding most of that alicorn’s power could have had an alternative solution.
Pipp rallying ponies in their darkest hour does work nicely. Even if the time constraints of a Tell Your Tale short require a pivot from despair to determination that can cause blackouts from the G-forces. To say nothing of skipping over how the three cities coordinated this.
Very telling that the dragons and the Rainbow of Light can be cut from this storyline and nothing of value is lost.
I will say that I prefer Opaline’s final moments in Make Your Mark. Dooming herself by chasing after a scrap of power is a much more poetic end than getting dragged to that doom.
Ah. Also skipping over the tease for Secrets of Starlight. Understandable.
It’s funny. This came out before “Roots of All Evil,” and yet it avoids a full spoiler… even if it covers the vast majority of it. That opening was a legitimately entertaining bit of Tell Your Tale-flavored goofiness, but the rest… Well, it honestly fell into both of the possibilities I posited. There’s compression, yes, and yet so much of that two-parter got cut with minimal impact. Heck, I don’t think Spike ever shows up in Tell Your Tale, which is just sad.
I do appreciate how the attempts to dance along with Izzy range from happily going along with it (Hitch, Pipp) to grudgingly but capably following the steps (Zipp) to being just as unprepared for a sudden dance break as I was (Sunny, Misty.)
Oh. Hello, Comet. This short came out the same day as Chapter 6, so you technically aren’t a spoiler. You are, however, still learning how slow down even in a town that isn’t perpetually frozen.
“It arrived weeks ago, and then I put somewhere I definitely wouldn’t forget, but then I did forget, so…”
Honestly, relatable.
I really hope there wasn’t an RSVP on that invitation. Seven unexpected guests is a fair number to accommodate, especially for a settlement as small as Starlight Ridge.
Also, given this side-by-side shot, Comet really does feel overdesigned compared to the rest of the cast. Incredible OC energy.
“Don’t we need the Nova Charm to travel through the portal?”
Which, of course, raises the question of how Violet sent that invitation. Unless she gave it to Comet before he left home, in which case she could have just, you know, asked the ponies while they were there.
Ah, the Nova Charm is compatible with any Together Tree. That does make sense; they’re a network, after all.
On the one hand, I can believe that one of the buildings in Starlight Ridge could physically contain this boutique. On the other, why would it? This is the most isolated town G5 has produced yet and still requires a portal key out of Planescape to access. Where’s the market for high fashion? (I know, I know, this was the furthest thing from the writers’ minds, but it still bothers me.)
That said, Sparky’s little cuffs are adorable.
… Wait, Sunny never said what the invitation was for at any point during the makeover montage?
Heh. Zipp does not appreciate formal attire.
The limited palette of the auroricorns does bring the Hooffields and McColts to mind. As I said, very isolated community.
Oh dear. The last thing Zipp needed was a reminder of the duties waiting for her.
Ah, we’re going for “snow leopard” for Allura’s species. Disappointing; I like the idea of her as an arctic sphinx. Also, Sunny has apparently given up Izzy for dead given how she’s making no move at all to rescue her.
(The split-second premonition is interesting. Is Sunny developing abilities similar to Celestia’s, or is this just understandable paranoia after Opaline?)
“Allura? Opaline? Pfft. We don’t have to worry about them any more, trust me.”
Yeah…. no. Zipp’s only half-right if that, and I’m just waiting for her shock when she realizes that.
Well, the fortune teller definitely looks like an auroricorn…
Yeah, mentioning purring around auroricorns is a bit like casually bringing up staircases around crystal ponies. Please do not trigger your neighbors to the north, Sunny.
Ah. And Sunny’s paranoia was entirely merited... though there is the question of how the giant winged cat snuck through the portal with nopony noticing. It will be interesting to see how this plays out in Season 2 of Tell Your Tale, but for now it just feels like rubbing the rest of the cast’s unfounded confidence in their faces. (Seriously, they really need to learn the difference between embarrassment and permanent defeat. You’d think they’d have learned after the first showdown with Opaline.)
I can respect gender-neutral makeovers, but crabs don’t have eyelashes. (Granted, that’s also not where their eyes are, so I need to pick my battles on this one.)
Oh dear. If Hitch and Sparky are still working out the kinks of their routine ten minutes before showtime, I don’t see it going well.
The “teaspoon on wineglass” bit with McSnipsalot’s shell is pretty funny, I won’t lie.
“Presenting the magic… of Kindness.”
I can’t tell whether or not a disobedient rabbit is a fitting tribute to Fluttershy.
Why show Rufus as one of the rejected acts when he’s backstage post-flashback? Likewise Rocky? It’s not like Tell Your Tale is short on background ponies.
Sunny. Why would you tell them about the critic? Especially when Posey could threaten to snap him like a twig if he gave the show a scathing review?
Aaaand she’s just making it worse. Seriously, I’d expect this kind of micromanagement and need for other ponies’ approval from Hitch, not directed at him.
That said, I do like Misty as stage manager. She is a very capable minion when treated well.
It’s an all-amateur performance, Sunny. What is the bad review even going to do to you?
Hmm. We know Hearth’s Warming Eve mutated into the three tribes’ different Wish* holidays, but the presence of a gift giver who delivers by chimney raises further questions of cultural evolution. I usually assign the role to the ghost of Chancellor Puddinghead in the Twilit Era, but obviously that won’t work in Zephyr Heights.
Also, Pipp using “Winter Wishday” in the song lyrics marks a rare case of pegasi adopting earth pony culture. Well, adopting it without tearing a wall out of the police station, anyway. 
Ah, Izzy reinvented the party cannon. I can’t say I’m surprised.
“I put way too much pressure on you all.”
And also sabotaged every act in your inexplicable need for critical acclaim. Don’t forget that part.
You know, I’d seen Windy in the chair suit before, but I hadn’t had context for it. This… This may be the most fascinatingly bizarre thing Tell Your Tale has ever done. I certainly didn’t see it coming.
That wasn’t a joke, everypony. She needs serious help getting out of there. Ponies aren’t meant to bend that way.
EileenSaysHi summarized this one as "In which Sunny briefly displays a personality and is promptly narratively punished for it.” I honestly can’t dispute that. This all-consuming terror comes out of nowhere and promptly returns there by the closing number. No stakes were established, no precedent existed for Sunny behaving like this, it was all manufactured for this one short sans context, with no thought to past or future.
Snow Business Like Show Business
I appreciate how most of the main cast are brandishing their magic, Zipp has a magnifying glass… and then there’s Pipp with her microphone. Yes, she’s the party’s bard, but it still feels like she missed the point of the big “pose as a team” moment.
Ah. Because she’s having the time of her life in the grind of producing a major motion picture. As for the others, given how much CGI is involved, I’m a little surprised they didn’t just use motion capture and edit them in later. (Heck, given the chroma key, I’m surprised Hitch’s mane didn’t go invisible.)
… That is an unreasonably large boom mike.
Ah yes, the conflict between truth and entertainment. “Based on a true story” allows for a startling amount of flexibility. Really, Sunny, if you just wanted to inform the masses, you could have just done an interview on ZBS, or worked with any newspapers that may exist. I do appreciate seeing the studio get some use after its creation, but this seems like one of the most inefficient ways to tell ponies what happened.
Also, I feel during the shoot is a little late to complain about the script.
After a single mention of purring got that fortune-teller running for the hills, I’m amazed Pipp got actual auroricorns to agree to this movie. Maybe the changes are drastic enough that they don’t mind. It’s so dumb, it loops around and hits clever from the other side.
This adaptation almost feels targeted at me, as if to say “The writing and pacing could be even worse.”
Misty being a terrible actress is… either very silly or completely logical. It’s one thing to infiltrate. It’s another to play a dramatized version yourself while ponies know you’re playing a dramatized version of yourself, all while the unblinking eye of the camera stares at you.
I appreciate the sunglasses. They’re silly, yes, but in an entertaining way. Honestly, the more of this movie I see, the less I have a problem with it. It’s falling into “so bad, it’s good” territory. Perfect MST3K fodder.
And we’re back to it being obnoxious. Again, Sunny, you have read this script. You had time to raise objections earlier.
Posey with wings. It’s a good thing that G5 Discord isn’t canon or he might see this as a grotesque mockery. (Also, why is she dangling in the harness if she’s not on? And why not cast a pegasus? Pipp clearly cannot be trusted as a director.)
Misting waxing Shatnerian is swinging the needle back to endearingly stupid.
I was not expecting Comet to be cast as auroricorn Iron Man.
… Oh goodness, Pipp’s trying to make a cinematic universe out of this, isn’t she?
Heh. Snow crab.
“Ponies and auroricorns teamed up for the first time.”
So does Comet not see himself as a pony? Are there actual biological distinctions at work? I have several questions.
Heh. Warped memories of the winterchilla… and a grossly inefficient cart for carrying in the kaiju. For shame.
“Do you think the real Allura will be in the sequel?”
Finally, somepony’s asking the big questions. 
And that brings us to a rather tepid ending. Yes, more Tell Your Tale is on its way, and “The Rise and Fall” demonstrates that it’s at least theoretically capable of telling more intense stories, but if I didn’t already know that last short was the last short for a while, I never would have guessed.
In any case, let’s see what I can make of the last bits of animation I’ll be looking at for a few months:
Case Closed W
Sorcery
Investigate, then exile target creature if its power is X or greater, where X is 6 minus the number of Clues you control. (To investigate, create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Nothing can escape justice forever.
Dressed to Impress 2W
Enchantment
Celebration — At the beginning of combat on your turn, target creature you control gains indestructible until end of turn. If two or more nonland permanents entered the battlefield under your control, creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn instead.
Leopard Umbra 2WW
Snow Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature is snow, gets +2/+2, and has vigilance and flying.
Umbra armor (If enchanted creature would be destroyed, instead remove all damage from it and destroy this Aura.)
Chroma Key 2U
Instant
All permanents of the color of your choice phase out. (Treat them and anything attached to them as though they don’t exist until their controller’s next turn.)
“Getting attention is easy. The real trick is getting all of reality to ignore you.”
—Trixie Lulamoon, journal
Curse of Squawking 3U
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
Whenever enchanted player casts a noncreature spell, each of that player’s opponents creates a 1/1 blue Bird creature token with flying.
Mystical murmurs are like so many bread crumbs scattered on the aether.
Misplaced by the Fae 4U
Instant
The owner of target creature puts it on the top or bottom of their library. Create a 1/1 blue Pony Faerie creature token with flying.
“Unattended foals may never be seen again.”
—Night Market sign
False Defeat 1B
Instant
Choose one or both —
• Target creature gains persist until end of turn. (When that creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)
• Target creature gains undying until end of turn. (When that creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Starseeker Horde 2BB
Creature — Unicorn Zombie
Whenever an enchantment is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It’s also a Zombie. If you don’t control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)
Whenever a Zombie you control with power 4 or greater attacks, defending player sacrifices an enchantment.
3/4
Draconic Mintstrosity 3BB
Creature — Dragon Horror
Flying
Whenever Draconic Minstrosity enters the battlefield or attacks, create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
When Draconic Mintstrosity dies, sacrifice any number of Foods. Each opponent loses that much life and you gain that much life.
4/4
Ignite Attire 1R
Instant
Ignite Attire deals X damage to target creature, where X is 2 plus the number of modifications on and attached to that creature. (Equipment, Auras its controller controls, and counters are modifications.)
Purging all protection spells included the fireproofing on Opaline’s wardrobe.
Recording Racoonicorn 1R
Creature — Raccoon Unicorn Minion
Whenever an instant or sorcery card is put into a graveyard from the stack, exile it.
When Recording Raccoonicorn dies, you may cast a card exiled with it and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell.
Opaline has many ways to ensure loyalty: Coercion, magic, peanut butter…
2/1
Sensationalize 1R
Instant
Choose target spell with one or more targets. Each player other than that spell’s controller copies it and may choose new targets for that copy.
“If Sunny wanted the pure truth, she shouldn’t have agreed to make a movie.”
—Princess Pipp Petals
Towering Teamwork 1G
Instant
Untap target creature. Until end of turn, it gets +X/+X and gains reach, where X is the number of creatures you control.
Standing united isn’t usually so literal.
Clash of the Alicorns 2G
Sorcery
Target creature you control gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures in your herd. Then that creature fights target creature you don’t control. (Your herd consists of up to one each of Bat, Pegasus, Pony, and Unicorn.)
Each mare battled the might of all ponies.
Cyclopean Snowzilla 4GG
Snow Creature — Elemental
Trample, ward 3
Cyclopean Snowzilla’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of snow permanents you control.
”They’re actually very gentle creatures as long as you don’t bother them.”
—Comet, cocoa specialist
*/*
Innocuous Armchair 2
Artifact
When Innocuous Armchair enters the battlefield, draw a card.
Ninja swap 2 (2: Exchange this artifact with a Ninja card in your hand.)
When ponies learned to watch for suspicious logs, the Mutsu clan adjusted their tactics.
Glittering Kitesail 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has flying.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on each modified creature you control.
Equip 3
Portal Key 3
Artifact
Whenever you roll a 1 during your turn, chaos ensues.
Whenever you roll a 6 during your turn, planeswalk.
T: Add one mana of any color. Roll a d6.
There are countless portals in the city of Sigil, and just as many ways to open them.
Disciple of Kindness GW
Creature — Pony Cleric
Hexproof from creatures
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
As ponies rediscovered the Guardians of Harmony, some chose to model their lives on the bygone heroes.
0/2
Cryogenic Crab 1WU
Snow Artifact Creature — Equipment Crab
Vigilance
Equipped creature is snow and has vigilance.
Whenever Cryogenic Crab or equipped creature attacks, tap target nonsnow creature defending player controls.
Reconfigure 2 (2: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn’t a creature.)
1/4
Slickhoof Auroricorn 1UR
Creature — Unicorn Shaman
Haste
Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)
Slickhoof Auroricorn can’t be blocked.
You can take the pony from the skating rink, but you can’t take the rink from the pony.
1/3
Probably would have been more apparent if they'd done much of anything with the fire alicorn magic. But you know, TV-Y show with all the edges sanded way off so parents can let their four-year-olds zombie in front of it, what can you do.
I had said one of the two-parter's saving graces relative to most of MYM was at least being comparatively busy. Doesn't mean that business actually contributed anything.
I preferred it too for the same reason. Though it's also kinda freaky how her fate in TYT is even darker. Or at least the tree is more actively malicious.
Though since Opaline's basically only been mined for comedy in the web series, there's an (unintended?) comedic irony to how she'd dispatched here.
My Little Pony, Generation Five – sucking the fantasy awe and logic of separated societies out of everything it touches!
Some of the Mane 6 had acts that went poorly too; judging by the VA credits for both, I'd say they had more proper roles and lines backstage that got cut.
Honestly, Windy has become their default "town pony for non-dumb role" stand-in to such an extent I was altogether numb to this. It's just such a weird thing they're trying to do with her. I know TYT shoves characters into roles and personalities with no context or buildup, but this after she's been here since the start of both MYM and TYT is just… it boggles the mind.
I've become so numb to TYT repeating conflicts of character worry that cause/heighten the issue, and often at the cost of established personalities, that this wouldn't have stuck out had you not phrased it that way.
Especially off there only being a couple thousand ponies in this world. Better hope the cinema tickets are mega expensive and it gets lots of repeat business!
The sad thing is, relative to most of the abuse she suffers as the Squidward of TYT, she gets off lightly here.
The staff have to know how dumb and underwhelming a villain she is, that this reads as them doing everything they can (poorly) to try and build her up, and also daring the more sensible viewers to try and criticise them for it.
The outlook for 2024 did say it would have 48 shorts alongside 4 22-minute ones, I think? It does read like it'll still be a weekly thing. I reckon it'll be starting up early in January again.
Yeah, I don't even know. The thought of this nothingburger being the generation going forward, whatever Make Your Mark was often worse, is enough that I'm seriously considering not bothering to keep up with it going forward.
It is possible the longer shorts will do more dramatic stuff, but given how much the web series is designed for shuffling around in reposted compilation videos, outside of them, it'll probably be more of the same schizophrenic junk we've had in Season One. Fitting, if sad, for Generation Five to go down this way.
Merry Christmas and happy New Year. Somewhat sad to hear our once venerable franchise, opulent and imperial, is slowly becoming a... well, you know the words.
Still, we can look forward to better things. All the best for the holidays.