Celestia Claps Back · 5:20pm Dec 23rd, 2023
You know, Twilight?
While I can't say that you have never been responsible for helping out Ponyville, you also created or influenced the vast majority of major threats in the first place.
Snips and Snails only provoked an Ursa Minor because of your refusal to stand up to Trixie. The same goes for the hydra and your refusal to believe in Pinkie Sense. The Lesson Zero episode, the future you from next Tuesday, and the Mysterious Mare Do Well were all your creations. You modified the Parasprites. You switched the Elements of Harmony. You put Starlight Glimmer on a path of revenge and almost ruined this timeline, you turned your assistant into a fifty-foot monstrosity, and you had no idea how to do things with your hooves, almost ruining Winter Wrap-Up.
The vast majority of Ponyville's problems are caused, at least indirectly, by you. And you know what? In all honesty, that would be fine. You are very intelligent, and you almost always do fix it, and in the end it's extremely unlikely that you won't end up benefiting Equestria a lot more than you will damage it.
But come on, princess. You can't keep using your magic as a way to escape your ponyity. I didn't ask you to say pony because I thought your friends would seriously care or because I was insecure, I did it because it made you look weird and I was trying to get you to adopt behaviors and use language that makes you come across like a normal blasted pony.
Everyone knows what an equine is, but calling us that outside the context of an animal studies class makes you seem like someone who defines themselves solely by their magic, which is undeniably who you are.
I know you think that there's nothing wrong with being that pony, princess, but there is. Taking your magic and deciding that it elevates you above the rest of Equestria is an awful decision that will lead to a life filled with misery and alienation. It will color every interaction you ever have and make it impossible to have real friends or relationships.
I'm not saying that you won't have any. But they won't hold any meaning to you, and they certainly won't bring you any happiness. Sure, you'll probably manage a pity-sleepover or two your sophomore year of magic-college after giving some drunk earth pony a levitation ride, but it'll bring you nothing but emptiness. Maybe you'll eventually abandon love altogether and decide that "your true love is magic," secretly seething inside whenever you see a guy like Big Mac or Cranky Doodle Donkey getting married to someone he really cares about, who cares about him.
Get out, princess. You're demoted. Hope-the-bestia from Celestia.
I think this guy needs help
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Who, me?
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No, my friend Dave from uni
of course I mean you, you twat
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This is a reworded copypasta for the lols. Don't read into it so hard.
Hmm, something seems familiar about this, especially with your YWNBAW blog post earlier...
...
...oh, I get it! Your mission was to /pol/. You've spent the past few years on /pol/. You're faking this religious turn as part of a larger scheme geared towards trolling FiMFiction and advancing the /pol/ack agenda. That explains everything.
gr8 b8 m8 but you only get a 7/8. You need work on the Christian angle, you're not very believable. Do you want some advice on better faking being a Christian? I had a "rah rah religion always bad!" angsty teenage phase back in the early-Aughts where I hung out on websites like christianburner.com, but I also always believed that in order to effectively argue against something, you need to be good at arguing for it. So in addition to the main account I maintained a sockpuppet account there where I pretended to be Christian and would argue in support of Christianity. I got pretty good at it, too.
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Copypasta from where? Upinya?
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4chan, I think. That's where I see it most often.
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What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
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I first saw this copypasta in a Dagoth Ur AI video. After learning the original 4chan post was about Jimmy Neutron from another YouTube video, I looked up the picture of it on Google and copied the text. Saying my mission was to 4chan only manages a pity chuckle or two, and is ironically the sort of thing actual "incels" say. Being a douche just because you don't like me for being transphobic is an awful decision that reflects more poorly on you. Get out, dude. You're blocked. Big Mcthankies from McSpankies.
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Hating people just because they are trans is an awful decision that reflects more poorly on you
That was certainly an interesting read
Thoughts on MLP G5A?
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Ah, the Miles Gloriosus copypasta.
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Never watched it
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Ok.
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So you're saying it's fine for people to be discriminated against?