State of the Writer, November 2023! · 12:32am Dec 1st, 2023

Before I go talking about myself, just a quick reminder that Nailah is in need of help, since I'm pushing the previous blog off the top of my page.

So as always, I haven't written anything. No surprise there. Except. Just yesterday, I finally finished the "sort through thousands of screenshots" stage of designing EQG stuff for Sentinels. And I put together the first deck image. >_> And since it's an environment, the flavor text is basically fanfiction snippets, and I made sure to include things like cheekily calling Wiz Kid and Curly Winds "just two guys being pals". :) So it's a little writing, even if it's just for card stuff.

The rest of this is whining.

Because oh my god this month has been nothing but shit D:

I am, at this point, basically on a timeline of two weeks, four at the most, to get my shit packed, find an apartment, find a moving company, and get the fuck out of here. I am kind of really screwed, you guys and I'm worried about ending up in my friend's basement, because that means hiring a moving company twice, as I would theoretically find somewhere else to live eventually. I left everything till the last minute and I am suffering.

It's kind of not my fault? ADHD and possibly hormones have been kicking my brain's ass. I spent the first two weeks of this month unable to focus on anything important. I'll have a thought and immediately forget it. I'll remember something I need to do, then immediately forget if the means to do it are not literally right in front of me. I've had a bit more clarity over the past day or so, but we'll get to that. This has made it literally impossible to do things like look for apartments or remember to contact people.

Week three would have been fine. I mean, I actually continued the project of tearing my couch apart! Except that, right in the middle of that, the fucking fire alarm started ringing and I had to evacuate the building. Again. c_c We stood in the fucking freezing cold drizzle for probably a half hour before they let us back in because, get this, the system malfunctioned. I was absolutely livid, and the only thing keeping me from hurting people was being just completely terrified out of my skin. Like, I was literally shaking the whole time. Twice in as many months, when my friend lived here for ten years and never had a fire alarm evacuation once. What are the fucking odds

And even then, things would have been fine. (Minus walking across town twice in two days, the second time based on faulty info and ultimately a huge waste of my time that left me completely exhausted.) Then on Thanksgiving, I'm bending over to get something out of my parents' freezer, and something in my back shifted, bringing me into a world of intense, screaming pain. I'm not sure how I did anything that day, least of all getting home or sleeping. The next day, I was somehow able to go grocery shopping all day with my mom, who had the brilliant idea to have me sit against one of those little chemical packs you shake up to keep your hands warm in the winter. And I credit that and possibly also the up-and-down of riding in a car then walking around a store with relieving some of that pain. I was still having trouble standing upright though, and I was borrowing a cane. (I'm being detailed about this in case anyone else goes through something like this.)

Saturday, I went to my friend's house for Friendsgiving. It was nice, but I was mostly in pain the whole time. Painkillers and stretches were taking the edge off, but I was still hobbling around like a bog witch. Then Sunday came. Sunday is laundry day. One of my favorite things to do is take a basket of warm clothes fresh from the dryer, dump it on my bed, and lay down on top of it. The nice warm soft clothes heat your back, relaxing the muscles, and the clothes being in a large pile mean your back slowly, gradually stretches. It feels so good, and that day was no different.

I get up, I start putting clothes away, I stop to do some standing stretches, and in the middle of one, something in my back went "POP". And suddenly, the pain wasn't half as bad as it had been. c_c;;; I am kind of terrified to think what I might've done to myself! But as of today, I'm mostly pain-free, had no trouble walking around town today for sure. I'm still doing the stretches and alternating hot and cold rice bags, but I think I will actually be able to recover from this soon. Which is good, because I need to be able to, like, do things. >_>

And that doesn't even cover losing Tuesday to a bout of depression brought on by spoiled meat, but I think I've said enough.

Right now, my couch is half cut in half, I've contacted a few places, and I have a few more to contact still tomorrow. Though I also need to go shopping. ARGH

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