'The Saddest Gentleman' · 5:19pm Dec 19th, 2012
I got something interesting in the past couple of hours. I've been too busy with my school stuff to even try anything. I've been reviewing Venn Diagrams, Flowcharts and C Programming (which I suck at btw) to even think of anything except 'THIS IS MY FINAL WEEK!' YES! Once its over, its more free time for me folks! Until... well, school starts again at January. At least we'll have a new cat to fill in the hole left by the great Brews, my cat that passed away months ago (profile pic), and I will probably finally get those chapters out for Gentleman for Mares and Iron Colt.
shira, a commentator, had told me before that the whole tone of the story struck him as a bit sad. S/He (we never really established gender association) promised to do a write-up on that regard, and came through.
Just reread the first chapter and I didn't feel it there. You set up Wingman as being very attentive and caring for his 'clients'. Perhaps that's just part of the job but you've made mention before that other gentlemen aren't like that. Either way by this point I just figure it's going to be a standard clop-fic with some better-than-average world building.
Que the second chapter. The mini-dream sequence in the beginning actually gives some character to your protagonist. Now I'm intrigued; there's more to this story than just horse fucking (
). Wingman struggles beneath the heavy past he talks about. As much as he claims he'd cleared the air with his father, the fact that he's still having dreams says otherwise. The story goes on to talk about his early time, his struggles until meeting Trixie (well he struggled there too
). Up till about that point I was feeling sorry for the guy but I didn't get the feel that this story was sad on a very fundamental level until he and Trixie talked about her not getting cards from the other gentlemen and why he left his. Even though he really didn't recall it fondly, he cared enough to leave her his card anyway, just so she wouldn't feel bad.
Wingman isn't a 'nice guy'. He's one of those rare types who gives until it hurts. In a sense he's kind of a martyr-type character. He always does his damnedest to give his 'clients' a happy ending but I'm not sure if a happy end is really in his future.
I only felt this amplified with the most recent chapter with Cheerilee. After thinking she's just trying to take advantage of the sexual highs from 'skipping' he mentally beats the crap out of himself after he finds out it was just bad circumstances. Now he may just be playing the part of a good prostitute but he treats her with an incredible amount of kindness and tenderness. This guy hates just having sex, he wants emotion and romance to be part of it. He mentions a couple of times about how he wants it to be special for his 'clients' too but at the end of the day, the only person who doesn't get it to be special is Wingman.
Being realistic, this is a clopfic, genre specific erotica. After the orgasm the author puts down the pen and the story is over. So the one person who never gets romance, or a happy end, is Wingman. It ties in pretty well to the horrible struggles of prostitutes in the modern world. Desired by society but forever kept away, unable to have a normal life, regulated to drugs, crime or the like. While you haven't painted it that way I, again, find myself trying to find a way that maybe Wingman can find some sort of happiness at the end of the day and really can't come up with much. I suppose you could contrive something but perhaps I'm looking for too much from this story. Either way, I feel that Wingman's plight is something, so very sad. The guy who will give until there's nothing left, and yet no one will give back to him.
~ shira
We had a bit of discussion about it. Nothing too serious, but nonetheless, interesting. While I don't agree with it completely, I can see how Harry is viewed as a bit of a martyr-type of person (he has tendencies). And if he was situated in the real world, then yeah, he might have a bit of a steep mountain to climb. I too know a the few techniques to keep these types of workers on the line, and it isn't pretty. However, I also know that there are a few legal 'escort' business which run tight ships, which is where I actually based the G4Ms company from.
In the end, shira did say that after re-reading the chapters again, the tone of sadness lessened, but it did give me an idea to expand on this slightly. While I didn't have much aim to begin with, writing this story, the support I had made me realize I could build this into something more. I'm not going to go off on the tangent and thoroughly change the simple nature of this fic. Its a slice of life, human viewing Equestria from the eyes of his customer - but it doesn't mean we can't have a bit more on the side, right?
For those wanting the next chapter, I'm sorry, but muprhy is really busy. Hopefully, by next week, or maybe after Christmas, we'll have the final checks. Take care guys, and happy holidays.
EDIT:
Another fic set in an alternate verse of G4Ms:
GAMA (Gentlemen And Mares Associations) by Cosmic_Guardian - follow a boy named Henry, who is trying to get money for his family. Hearing of G4M's, he goes out in search of employment. He is turned down by G4M's, but a shadow company, the Gentlemen And Mares Assosoiation, gives him the job. This is Henry's story.
You...mentioned my story? OHMYGOODNESS!
Well, I must say, that if it were not for our brief encounter in the HiE Group, I still would not be following you... (I'm not entirely sure how that happened, seeing as how I absolutely love G4M!) However, that aside, I have to say that I think your story is one of the best clop-fics I have read, mostly because there is so much characterization and I can indeed sympathize with him. I generally reserve such a lengthy critique as Shira's for a story's end, but I agree with him on almost every point...especially on the 'martyr' aspect of his personality. Now I don't think the underlying reason has come out explaining why he is thusly, but I would be interested to get some insights...
In not so many words, Sorry I wasn't watching you previously, thank luck for our encounter and keep writing...you've got fans that really appreciate your work!
628499
Well, yeah. I try to make a point and link every story that involves the G4M verse. Wouldn't leave yours out.
628543
Hey, don't worry. I'm more of the guy that likes feedback a bit more than stats. And you sir, continue the good work.
629485 Thanks, you too!
629485 Thanks man.