Story Review #22 · 8:38pm Jul 6th, 2023
Story Review #22: It’s Just Us —by Spyder27
Reward for winning one of the competition’s in the Sunset X Villain competition group!
Character’s:
Adagio Dazzle:
I love how Adagio is her sassy tight clothes wearing self in this story but is still someone not over their Ex very relatable. (not the tight clothes but the not being over her ex) I also enjoy how in love but closed off she is at the same time a very well written duality. Very canon with a bit of flavor and shipping thrown in.
Sunset Shimmer: I love Sunset and I like how vulnerable she is but I do think she is a little to timid in this story I like the slightly different take on her but when I read some of the lines it sounded like Fluttershy more then Sunset but still very enjoyable!
Aria: what a bitch!!! Love that for her.
Sonata: average Sonata activity but as always I wish for more of best taco girl.
Premise: not sure how to feel about the premise….
Is it cliche? Yes!
Been done? Also yes!
Did I love it? YES!!!!
In short it’s a basic AF premise but the execution it makes it work well.
Grammar and punctuation: I didn’t see any errors but my writer sense was tingling so I give it a pass but I wonder if I missed something?
Dialogue: nothing special nothing terrible!
Flaws: the sudden speed up! This story has a nice slow very realistic pace but then suddenly the final 2 chapters approach Mach 2 and go way faster then the first 2.
Highlights: I love that I wasn’t sure if Adagio and sunset were splitting or going to get together at the end
But as always those are just my 2 cents and I recommend you check out the story yourself and form your own opinion. If you’re a fan of Sundagio I highly recommend checking out Spyder27 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/467180/Spyder27) they are top 3 Sundagio writers on this site!!
Rating:
8/10 Smug applejacks!
Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/518696/its-just-us
The more timid nature of Sunset was actually intentional due to the fact that these are older versions of the characters and this version of Sunset never really got over Adagio as well.
But yeah! I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much! I will admit that the story goes a bit faster at the second half of the story. That wasn't intentional. This story was made as a birthday gift to my dear friend, Mon, so I wrote faster than I usually do to get it done by her birthday. Believe it or not, I wrote those last two chapters while I was sick too 