New description of What I've Become. · 11:09pm Apr 9th, 2023
Hey, guys, I'm working on making a new description for What I've Become (The printed version on Amazon) because the current one really doesn't do the story justice. It doesn't even really tell the potential reader about what's inside it. It's honestly one of the larger mistakes I've made with this whole thing, and I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on this new one I've been throwing together:
On a distant world, far from home and anyone who he would call kin, a lone monstrosity struggles to survive. He was stolen from his home, twisted in both body and mind, and unleashed again and again against the enemies of a shadowy alien empire.
Yet, for all their power, all their superior alien technology, Alex managed to regain himself, to break free of the fog, and carve a bloody path to freedom.
The planet he has found himself on is a place of wonder and danger, where bird-like creatures known as the dakri command the very elements to obey them, where a young feudal diarchy wars with an ancient and disgraced priesthood, and where nightmares and gods spring forth from the minds that birthed them. A place that is not ready for the interstellar war that Alex has dragged to their doorstep.
This is the first book of The Humanity Within Trilogy. An epic series written by Knight Breeze following a legend of swords and sorcery clashing with an alien empire, all while a single mutated human caught in the crossfire desperately tries his best to survive. This series contains the following printed or planned books:
What I've Become.
Nightmare of the Past. (Coming Soon!)
Legends of the Future. (Planned, title still subject to change)
Let me know what I can change to improve the sales pitch, here. I'd love to have some feedback!
This is honestly much better, the last one was all the same as the mlp version witch was a little disappoiting. But this one is a more like showing what is happening and giveing a more open world view. I have to say i am proud that you are improving.
It seems good to me.
5722074 Thanks, man. It really means a lot to hear you say that.
5722075 Awesome!
"as" should be "has"
Aside from that proofreading error, it looks good.
5722100
Changed. Thanks for the catch!
I have a question is this about a darkened sky or just the first book cuz I'm wondering when are we going to Update a darkened Sky cuz I really want to see what happens https://youtu.be/yQILos6qCv8 and here's a song about a war
5722192 This is about my mlp-less version of the first book, What I've Become. I took the original story, and published it after doing a little remodling to remove anything that might get me sued by Hasbro. As for A Darkened Sky, I'm planning on continuing that as soon as I've published the next book in the trilogy, Nightmare of the Past. Nightmare of the Past is already done, I'm just doing some last minute wrap up stuff, so expect A Darkened Sky to continue very, very soon.