alright now. let's see if i can crank this ol' machine back up. even for just a little bit. (also massive author status update) · 6:12am Mar 7th, 2023
It's been almost a full year since I've actually written new content for Pony-Me. That chapter published back in August was the very last chapter I had in my little stash of chapters that I originally intended to have serve as a buffer zone between moments when I'd be unable to write for whatever reason.
Haha, who could've known that they'd be the only chapters I'd write for a long, long time.
I won't sugarcoat this at all: At this point, I've completely moved on from Pony-Me. I mentioned long ago that it was my passion project. Something that reflected not just my writing, but me as well.
Back in 2020, I was thinking that a full rewrite from the ground-up, merging in the things I had planned for its now-canceled sequel, would do the story some good by patching up plot holes and introducing a more "interesting" story.
Boy. Things went south faster than I expected.
To be completely honest, one of the big reasons for the rewrite existing at all was because I wanted to recapture the experience I had in writing Pony-Me. I didn't want to move on from it yet, but at the same time I wanted to show that I had improved. I wanted to create the next "Pony-Me". Something that I could enjoy myself, but at the same time, feed the ego I had grown in watching Pony-Me succeed the way that it did. Splintershard was another attempt at that. So was Worlds Reset. And almost every non-oneshot fic I had written leading up to The Dragon of the Ruins.
I wanted to show that I hadn't peaked yet. To find some way to tell myself that "this isn't over yet".
But one by one, each project fell inactive, superseded by the next, shelved at best and canceled at worst. It was an unhealthy mindset, to move on from every project that didn't immediately show me the success I was looking for, and it left a trail of barely-updating stories in its wake.
Compound this with a slow drifting further and further from the core of the fandom. Yes, I still like MLP. Yes, I still write stories based around it. But outside of Ruins, stories such as Pony-Me, such as Splintershard; many of my stories on this site are barely-hidden original fiction works with a light coat of pony-colored paint on top. This current version of Pony-Me, in fact, is exactly that. Up until the chapter I've finally started work on as of tonight, the entire story has been written firstly as original fiction, and secondly as an MLP-centric story. I have two parallel word documents that barely differ from each other. The only thing that separated Pony-Me from its "My Own Reality" counterpart are names and a handful of scenes that I had to completely rewrite to fit within the context of MLP.
I used to say that I wanted to see these stories, especially Pony-Me, out to the very end, no matter what it took.
Now, though, I only see it as work. It hasn't been personally enjoyable to write the same scenes out again with minor differences for this rewrite. And my very outlook on virtual reality went through massive changes in these two and a third years since the story was first posted. Facebook's pivot toward the whole "Metaverse" stunt that they pulled (and thankfully recently appears to be winding down after its absolute failure) completely recontextualized for me the concept of living in virtual reality. No longer could I look at the plot of Pony-Me, where Lisa is trying to save a virtual Equestria, the same. All I saw was Facebook shoving its accounts in the faces of everyone who was unfortunate enough to have owned an Oculus headset, including myself. I saw a company that wanted to control every aspect of a person's life, down to the very world that they interacted with.
I'm so, so sorry for not being able to meet your expectations for me. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this iteration of Pony-Me before I call it quits for good on the concept. I've long-since moved on, and much of my writing hobby has instead turned to focus fully on original fiction rather than fanfiction. I certainly refuse to let What If flicker out of course--it's by far the most freakishly fun to write out of any of my fics. But even stories such as Ruins, which rode the Gen 5 wave, are just kinda existing at this point. Yes, I return to them to post updates once in a blue moon, but I cannot say that I have the same dedication to writing MLP fanfiction that I did before 2020. The pandemic was a pretty big turning point for me, marking increasingly bold moves toward writing something that didn't base itself in anything pony related, starting with Splintershard.
I don't want to leave this site, nor do I plan to leave it. But Pony-Me at this point feels like a stone tied to my ankle. It's existed since 2017. It came and it went. I gave its characters the closure I had intended for them. I feel like I should've left it at that instead of trying to do it all over again.
I'll try and see Pony-Me out to a conclusion, whatever it may be. I'm no longer planning to update the original fiction version hosted on Offprint. If I want any chance to get this complete, I've gotta approach it like the way I originally did--as a story about Twilight Sparkle being the virtual avatar of a young woman who built a world.
I'll try my best. For you and for me. I hate leaving stories unfinished, and this has been gnawing at me for ages now. Once this is done, I'll try to wrap up Splintershard as well.
I wish you the best of luck, both at finishing your stories here, but also with your future writing endeavors!
Thanks for 8 years of hard work, Techie.
I just noticed this blog, that Pony-Me had been rebooted, and that it's now completed. So, it's now officially in my Unread/Reading bookshelf.