Honestly, I logged in to delete this account, but I saw waiting, unread PMs notifications, and as a human being, I glanced. And the previews I glanced over made me decide otherwise.

I wish all of you well. May you all find joy. I am happy to say I have found mine. I am writing again after years of having a PTSD reaction to just opening a word document. On another site, in another fandom.

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Time moves so quickly and so slowly that it baffles me. The calendar is approaching my veritable D-day anniversary; it's almost been a year since something happened that broke me into so many pieces that I didn't think I could be put back together again.

I have been, over and over, berating myself for having nothing to show for a year of silence. I haven't written anything substantial. My programming projects languish. I have no tangible proof that anything has happened.

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TL;DR: I am not dead, but I'm not active right now, either.

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I'm disabling comments on all of my stories—past, present, and future.

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Okay!

I could do a long-winded ramble about how much I loved every entry, but to save the anxiety in the air, I'll cut to the chase. I'll leave comments on the respective entry threads now that voting is over. I was worried that my opinions might "sway" folks with my thoughts or something, plus it'll end things on high notes for all our fantastic finalists.

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So, because I made a joke, Anzel and I are now hosting a writing contest for Q&B fans. (and, well, non-fans as well! anyone can participate!) A quick overview of the contest:

• 3,000 words or less
• Six prompts to choose from
• Write about a Q&B character OR your own original character!
• Deadline is September 1
• Submissions are anonymous

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"Pobody's nerfect."

My grandmother would always say this.

This twist of a phrase has always stuck with me.  It's both simple and effective in its simplicity, with a little silliness to boot.

This, from my grandmother who humiliates my mother for being overweight by shaming her at the dinner table in front of the whole family.

Well, as she says: "pobody's nerfect."

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I don't know who's speaking for me or trying to "help me out", but please stop.

I never said Carapace assaulted me. I never said he made any advances on me. None of this was said or happened.

If you think you are helping me by trying to spread these words, harassing Carapace "on my behalf", then you are literally doing the exact opposite of what I would want.

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I want you to know something, something very important:

You are beautiful.

I want to tell you this, and I want to detail this with things you may or may not know, because I struggle to believe them myself. I have crippling self-esteem issues.

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Last year, our decision to go to BronyCon '16 was somewhat spur-of-the-moment in that we made few plans and had just as few social "obligations" for lack of a better word.  There were some friends that wanted to meet up with us and that was about it.  We had a great time, of course!

I just didn't know then what an absolutely amazing and thoroughly wonderful time it could have been… and was this year.

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