1166738
you fucker..now im hungry

1166738 ...wat?

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Heya! Just here to give a synopsis on the story, so....

Well, you can write very, very well. :D Your technical skills are well fleshed out and I couldn't find any grammatical, spelling, or punctuation errors. So, that's a plus on your behalf!

Now, aside from your story being about an alicorn OC, I think you have plenty of potential. Your ability to compose something readable is there in plain sight.

Keep on writing and then I'm sure something good will turn up! Cheers!