Diamond Tiara likes online games

by Moniker

chapter 3 great time, even with a blank flank, And bad crime rate

Diamond Tiara sighed as she woke up from her sleep. She walked into the bathroom to brush her mane when she was stopped by her father "Diamond honey I have to go around equestria to make sure my business is running smoothly," Filthy Rich informed.

"Okay daddy, I'll see you when you get home," smiled Diamond Tiara waving to her father walking out the door. Diamond Tiara walked into the kitchen when a teenage stallion tossed her a cupcake with his wing. "Hay Diamond Tiara how's it going," asked the teenage stallion.

"Oh, Eon what are you doing here?" asked Diamond Tiara.

"Well your father felt bad he had to leave you alone every day so he hired me to foalsit you," explained Eon.

"Oh, well huh," Diamond Tiara grabbed the cupcake Eon gave her.

"Well I'm going to go to an acquaintance of mine," smiled Diamond Tiara.

"Well, I'm being paid to watch you so I need to come with you, sorry but you'll hardly know I'm there," added Eon smiling warmly. Diamond sighed "fine you can come," Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. Diamond grabbed her laptop from her desk to bring to Sweetie belle's house.

Diamond Tiara walked to the door Eon knocked on the door with his dark blue hoof. The door opened quickly with the white coated purple maned mare. "Yes who is it?" said Rarity peeking through the crack of the door.

"It's me Diamond Tiara I was wondering if Sweetie Belle was home?" wondered Diamond Tiara.

"Oh yes she is upstairs come in," informed Rarity staring into the white teen's blue eyes puzzled.

"Oh this is Eon he is my well...friend I guess" added Diamond.

"Oh, well like I said she is upstairs," Rarity smiled.

"Well I'll just look around the bouquet Diamond," admitted Eon using his hoof like a brush to brush his blonde mane.

"Alright," Diamond announced.

Diamond Tiara knocked on Sweetie Belle's door, Sweetie Belle perked up "Hey Diamond!" cracked Sweetie Belle.

"Hey blank flank," teased Diamond Tiara, trying to hide any emotions she might think she has.

"Are you ready to play World Of PonyCraft?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Sure I am," responded Diamond Tiara.

"Great let's get started!" yelled Sweetie Belle voice cracking a little bit.

"Okay, where were we?" thought Diamond Tiara.

"Oh, we were looking for a new quest," responded Sweetie Belle. Diamond Tiara and Sweetie Belle started walking around the computer generated world. "Okay over there is the market that is where I got my sword, over there is the tavern that is where you can meet other ponies or find new quests, and here is my house I've saved up for," she said pointing her hoof at a higher end looking house. "Nice house," admitted Diamond Tiara.

"I know I spent months collecting the gold to buy the house," added Sweetie Belle.

The two adults downstairs were talking. "So how do you know Diamond Tiara?" questioned Rarity.

"Oh, well I'm foalsitting her for the next two days her father felt bad he had to leave her home alone," smiled Eon.

"Well what about her mother?" asked Rarity.

"Unknown," answer Eon.

"Sister or friend?" asked Rarity.

"Well, Diamond is an only child, and her only friend is out for now," answered Eon.

"Oh, okay then," replied Rarity. The adults sat down at Rarity's sofa to get comfortable.

"Alright, here is an interesting quest I found Diamond Tiara," Sweetie Belle grabbed the letter.

"Help, my father walked into a trap set by a group of bandits, he's now trapped in one of the camps," the letter said urgently. "Should we go for it?" thought Sweetie Belle.

"We should go for the quest," Diamond responded clicking yes. The fillies wondered around the fake world until they found the camp Sweetie Belle pulled out her iron sword and Diamond pulled out her bow and arrows. Diamond was the first to make contact with shooting one arrow to a bandit's head the bandit dropped immediately, Diamond Tiara gave a faint smile as she pulled out the iron sword Sweetie Belle gave her, and she started attacking the enemies. After nine minutes of attacking they found the man they were searching for it was a dark blue earth pony with a gray mane. "Well, that's done," smiled Diamond. "Huh?" Diamond Tiara raised her eyebrow seeing a new quest.

"This is a new kind of quest Diamond Tiara, it's called an escort mission, it's a mission where you fight an impossible amount of enemies to save the pony your escorting," explained Sweetie Belle.

"Oh, okay," sighed Diamond Tiara.

After she finished the escort she heard Eon call his name. "Diamond Tiara it's time to go!" yelled Eon.

"Oh, well goodbye Sweetie Belle!" exclaimed Diamond Tiara running downstairs almost forgetting her laptop.

"Do you have everything Diamond?" asked the white Pegasus with a blonde mane and a cutie mark of music.

"I have everything Eon," smiled Diamond.

"Good, well I'll be foalsitting you tomorrow to sorry," added Eon. The teen walked the filly to her house and said goodnight and went to his house in a block away from her. "I hope Rarity's right and I am accepted by Silver Spoon," Diamond thought lying in her bed.

Diamond heard a noise coming from the living room she was a little scared she never got over her fears of the dark ether. She silently made her way downstairs when she saw a stallion dressed in all black and a gray baseball cap Diamond squeaked as silent as she could. The stallion turned to the staircase seeing a filly the robber toke what he could carry and ran away. Diamond Tiara made her way to the phone to call the cops. "Hello 911 what's your emergency?" asked the operator. "Hello I'm Diamond Tiara I live on Haymaker street the second house on the left from the sign, there has been a break in some pony broke in and stole some things," Diamond Tiara breathed sharply

"Okay the authorities will be right on their way miss," said the operator. Soon enough Diamond started hearing sirens. Diamond saw an authority figure walk up to her. "Excuse me but where is your parents?" asked the police officer.

"My daddy is somewhere around equestria, and my mom is unknown," Diamond answered.

"Oh, so that means can you give a description of the robber?" asked the officer, talking more fragile to the pink earth filly.

"He had a mask on so I couldn't see him sorry," Diamond Tiara apologized.

Just then Eon ran to Diamond Tiara. "Are you alright Diamond Tiara?" wondered Eon looking at the house.

"I'm fine," admitted Diamond Tiara.

"Excuse me sir but how do you know this filly?" asked the officer.

"Well I was foalsitting her for the day," said Eon. The official had a blank look on his face looking confused.

"Well we'll keep an eye out for the stallion," the official said.

Comments

[Qussar]

good developments
good to see you actually added gameplay
some mistakes i found

"from her desk to bring to Sweetie belle's house." not really a mistake but an "it" next to bring would be more fluent

"Oh this is Eon he is my well friend I guess" i think you meant to have a pause after "he is my" a comma or three periods would've made a pause

"Oh, well I'm foalsitting her for the next two days her father felt bad he had to leave her home alone" a comma after two days

"Good, well I'll be foalsitting you tomorrow to sorry" too

"her fears of the dark ether." either

"seeing a filly the robber toke what he could" the filly would be (in my opinion) more correct , took

",there has been a break in some pony broke in and stole something’s" a comma would've been nice after in , some stuff would've been better or somethings without the upper dash thingie (apostrophe?)

"so that means can you give a description of the robber?" you either switch their places or delete "so that means"

you need to work on your commas (i know they can be frustrating sometime but practice makes perfect)

the story is good , but you need to work on the wordings ,the pace of which the actions happen is good , but conversations end too fast, try to extend the dialog

until the next chapter I bid thee goodbye

[Moniker]

2577679 Well at least I got not as many spelling mastakes right.