Horizon Valley... Has a nice ring to it if you ask me. I was never a big fan of names like Humanville or Humancity or whatever. Others may find a liking in this, I deem it a bit too simple. So there you have it. 130 new inhabitants in Equestria, for good or evil. References are aplenty, have fun finding them.
Expect the sidestory "Just a Test" to follow in the near future.
Oh my God you're not dead I'm so happy how about Cadence and Shining Armor what and when is twilight going to have that baby of hers oh you can make the next chapter juicy thanks
7179445 I'm pretty sure they don't tell you that you had your background checked by them. Then again: I'm not someone with insight to the Secret Service, so what do I know?
I feel like there are a bunch of unanswered questions here.
Like what their intentions were flying into a potential war-zone? Especially if they saw what was happening in Manhattan for which they seemed concerned for their safety after the fact. Who funded a commission to use an Airbus? Was it stolen? What made them think it was safe to try to civilly cross into another world that may go to a place where they can stop a nuke from blowing up? A legion of draconiquii attack another realm and it just now crosses his mind to bring this up? I get he was struggling with the persona's but that seems like a pretty significant bit of dangerous for discussion.
Other than that, I've made it this far in the story. I like the reading of it. It flows well and I can imagine this stories world building. Theirs just a few things that happen here and there that seem to be inserts for the intention of pushing the plot along.
7182402 True, I left a lot of questions unanswered. But for two good reasons: One, the chapter has already about 18k words and would become too long if I squeeze in more. Second and more importantly: Let's not rush things. If I lay open everything at once, I'm all out of stuff in later chapters and the reader would be buried under a shitload of information to process at once.
7180070 You know ahead of time if they will run a background check on you. Or at the latest they would bring it up during questioning.
But I was more referring to the ponies he met. Interacting with them and such you're not going to find that in a background check. Unless he already made a report, in which case they would already know what he knows. They would already have the titles the ponies go by and their purpose.
7186281 Yes, but assuming the Secret Service knows all his statements and reports to his superiors, which by now are surely classified, the scientists in the room don't know these things. their access to such files was restricted due to the classified nature of them. Of course, some agent could presented all this in place of Rick, but his part in the story isn't over yet. Not only was he present to help to assess the possible threat, the offer to join AEGIS is also something he was there for. Might go several ways. Brothers becoming enemies or just a character giving us insight to the daily life in AEGIS facilities. We will see what I summon up for you guys.
I just hope they find this psychopath person or company that sent 800 people into the unknown and potential war zone with only 1 doctor and had enough funds to own an Airbus.
This type of entity is more dangerous than an enemy.
7190914 Hm, to be fair, that was a high risk action anyway. The Betty got fried up instruments and that was a Cessna with one engine. Now there's an airbus with way more instruments. No one could have known that all instruments fry on the other side and that the airbus would drop like a stone. Basically like the first steps beyond the atmosphere in the space race. They only had a vague idea what would or could happen, but no specific data, nothing certain.
For all it's worth, these people could also just see: "Hm, they fly with a ship to the Bermuda and return to their world. We don't have a flying ship, but we have this here..."
It is like the Mars One project. Only a madman would make the trip to a hostile planet, only to be cramped into tiny living space and the omnipresent threat of death. But those men and women, once they have landed and secured the facilities, they are the pioneers going down in history as the first few to set foot on Mars, taking them on par with Neil Armstrong.
7191023 The Bermuda Triangle itself is mostly innaccurate reports, even its dimensions have changed over time with random reports. Yeah, they knew humans were over on the other side, but they also know these humans have "super powers". A few months later (many weeks was stated in the first chapter so hard to tell) and they think they have a shot at crossing this other side with just that much info?
The Space Race was all about satellites and measuring equipment, dogs and monkeys, before any human was sent. It took about 4 years between the Sputnik1 and the first human in space and another 8 years of testing before Armstrong.
All those missions had probes and satellites go out first and collect data. It was more of an educated assessment at those points. Not a blind throw in the dark with speculation after a few months or so. You could probably get a good number of people with some fancy talk to get a good cult going.
Even Mars One is the result of numerous robotic lander information and orbiters. And they have further plans to send another robot before they even launch humans. That all doesn't happen for 15 years after it's proposal.
From what I've understood, the only other people that could have known about the Betty is Rick and the US government. Unless you have plans for an information leak reveal. I can only assume everyone else knows about the Battleship New Jersey. Which leads to more, this is a warzone area idea.
Planet gets attack by aliens, then someone decides to colonize their world sending the women AND children? Sounds like a crazy person to me.
The story is looking good but I cannot wait until the next chapter comes out hopefully before the end of this week and when will Twilight going to have her baby.
7269425 Can it... Can it be? Someone wandered into this dead place called a comment section? You have no idea how lonely it feels in here. *steps out of the shadows, malnourished and with long beard* Seriously though, I wish more people would give their thoughts like you. Twilight giving birth? Well, got a bit until then. In the meantime we will see after Shiria, the humans and Discord. In two chapters.
7269464 I don't blame other people but probably need to update your story more. And maybe in your next chapter the humans parents come over but the biggest prize will be the Future King parents come over and he has a little sister and Big Brother and everyone's mad at the Future King and he had a girlfriend back on Earth that comes over too and she's mad more now that's a good story let me know.
7360014 An interesting objection, but they already stated that Celestia would never be able to do so, nor would Luna. On a personal standpoint, I agree with you, but the message they are trying to get to Tyler isn't:"Do as we say!" It's "We are doing it together, we are willing to help you. Able to help you."
As you said already: They care too much, love him too much to hurt him. But, and here it comes: Tyler is bit by bit ascending to a state of alicorn in human form. Now, in a herd where four out of five are in a state of alicornhood, what does this mean for AJ, who is still an earth pony? And Tyler himself doesn't sees this as rape, although he would have every single right to scream for it. I think AJ is the only earth pony mare ever able to have full power over a being more powerful than her. That was the point where the farm pony became uncomfortable. Tyler rested his fate into her hooves, willingly. Not because he had no other choice, but because he wanted to.
Until now, Tyler has a thing with each of his mares. I mean Celestia wants a proper spanking once in a while, Luna enjoys the attention and caring, Twilight loves hearing and learning new things about Earth... And AJ? AJ got this. She's in charge between the two of them. Why, you ask? Because Tyler thinks that the one mare who is the most down to earth should be the one being able to reel him in, should the time come.
Another fact also remains: They fixed the physical harm done in that hellride beneath Applejack and he got the point never to do things on his own. It sounds harsh and inhumane, but consider that Celestia and Luna already have bitter experiences with ignoring things for too long. They pulled the emergency break and each time you do that, things canter over. It was denial of bliss, but at one point, it might have become a bit painful.
As of now you should have noticed: Tyler is being shaped to be up for the tasks ahead of him and sometimes these changes are not always good or from beings he knows. Celestia wants him to become perfect and proper, before even considering of Luna or herself carrying his foals. Think of the Doctor, who is now believed dead by the humans. As Sage has already stated: Tyler is in a process of growing, maturing. Sometimes this will be painful. More about that in the upcoming chapters. That is, if I EVER find the time to get them done, now that I have a job. Curse you, real life!
7428648 Then I can give you some good news: The story isn't dead yet and the update to the next chapter, 8k+ words by now, will be very soon, maybe even this week. Currently in a mood crisis and not much work on the story was done, but a few hundred words here and then made the progress happen. I contacted my proofreader, but didn't get a reply, but I've let you wait long enough, so the next chapter will seemingly go out raw and not proofread.
Horizon Valley... Has a nice ring to it if you ask me. I was never a big fan of names like Humanville or Humancity or whatever. Others may find a liking in this, I deem it a bit too simple. So there you have it. 130 new inhabitants in Equestria, for good or evil. References are aplenty, have fun finding them.
Expect the sidestory "Just a Test" to follow in the near future.
Throne... That was unexpected... Amazing work as always, keep it up!
My thoughts exactly about their discussion on time travel and the unknown ramifications Tyler may have inadvertently caused.
Oh my God you're not dead I'm so happy how about Cadence and Shining Armor what and when is twilight going to have that baby of hers oh you can make the next chapter juicy thanks
7152336
Calm down, calm down! Slow, steady breaths... I'm not dead, who claimed so? Stupid Changeling propaganda...
7152567 okokok I'm good
7179445
I'm pretty sure they don't tell you that you had your background checked by them. Then again: I'm not someone with insight to the Secret Service, so what do I know?
I feel like there are a bunch of unanswered questions here.
Like what their intentions were flying into a potential war-zone? Especially if they saw what was happening in Manhattan for which they seemed concerned for their safety after the fact.
Who funded a commission to use an Airbus? Was it stolen?
What made them think it was safe to try to civilly cross into another world that may go to a place where they can stop a nuke from blowing up?
A legion of draconiquii attack another realm and it just now crosses his mind to bring this up? I get he was struggling with the persona's but that seems like a pretty significant bit of dangerous for discussion.
Other than that, I've made it this far in the story. I like the reading of it. It flows well and I can imagine this stories world building. Theirs just a few things that happen here and there that seem to be inserts for the intention of pushing the plot along.
7182402
True, I left a lot of questions unanswered. But for two good reasons:
One, the chapter has already about 18k words and would become too long if I squeeze in more.
Second and more importantly: Let's not rush things. If I lay open everything at once, I'm all out of stuff in later chapters and the reader would be buried under a shitload of information to process at once.
7180070
You know ahead of time if they will run a background check on you. Or at the latest they would bring it up during questioning.
But I was more referring to the ponies he met. Interacting with them and such you're not going to find that in a background check. Unless he already made a report, in which case they would already know what he knows. They would already have the titles the ponies go by and their purpose.
7186281
Yes, but assuming the Secret Service knows all his statements and reports to his superiors, which by now are surely classified, the scientists in the room don't know these things. their access to such files was restricted due to the classified nature of them. Of course, some agent could presented all this in place of Rick, but his part in the story isn't over yet. Not only was he present to help to assess the possible threat, the offer to join AEGIS is also something he was there for. Might go several ways. Brothers becoming enemies or just a character giving us insight to the daily life in AEGIS facilities. We will see what I summon up for you guys.
7186584
Ah gotcha.
I just hope they find this psychopath person or company that sent 800 people into the unknown and potential war zone with only 1 doctor and had enough funds to own an Airbus.
This type of entity is more dangerous than an enemy.
7190914
Hm, to be fair, that was a high risk action anyway. The Betty got fried up instruments and that was a Cessna with one engine. Now there's an airbus with way more instruments. No one could have known that all instruments fry on the other side and that the airbus would drop like a stone. Basically like the first steps beyond the atmosphere in the space race. They only had a vague idea what would or could happen, but no specific data, nothing certain.
For all it's worth, these people could also just see: "Hm, they fly with a ship to the Bermuda and return to their world. We don't have a flying ship, but we have this here..."
It is like the Mars One project. Only a madman would make the trip to a hostile planet, only to be cramped into tiny living space and the omnipresent threat of death. But those men and women, once they have landed and secured the facilities, they are the pioneers going down in history as the first few to set foot on Mars, taking them on par with Neil Armstrong.
7191023
The Bermuda Triangle itself is mostly innaccurate reports, even its dimensions have changed over time with random reports. Yeah, they knew humans were over on the other side, but they also know these humans have "super powers". A few months later (many weeks was stated in the first chapter so hard to tell) and they think they have a shot at crossing this other side with just that much info?
The Space Race was all about satellites and measuring equipment, dogs and monkeys, before any human was sent. It took about 4 years between the Sputnik1 and the first human in space and another 8 years of testing before Armstrong.
All those missions had probes and satellites go out first and collect data.
It was more of an educated assessment at those points. Not a blind throw in the dark with speculation after a few months or so. You could probably get a good number of people with some fancy talk to get a good cult going.
Even Mars One is the result of numerous robotic lander information and orbiters. And they have further plans to send another robot before they even launch humans. That all doesn't happen for 15 years after it's proposal.
From what I've understood, the only other people that could have known about the Betty is Rick and the US government. Unless you have plans for an information leak reveal. I can only assume everyone else knows about the Battleship New Jersey. Which leads to more, this is a warzone area idea.
Planet gets attack by aliens, then someone decides to colonize their world sending the women AND children? Sounds like a crazy person to me.
Or a setup for some possible nefarious plotting.
The story is looking good but I cannot wait until the next chapter comes out hopefully before the end of this week and when will Twilight going to have her baby.
7269425
Can it... Can it be? Someone wandered into this dead place called a comment section? You have no idea how lonely it feels in here. *steps out of the shadows, malnourished and with long beard*
Seriously though, I wish more people would give their thoughts like you. Twilight giving birth? Well, got a bit until then. In the meantime we will see after Shiria, the humans and Discord. In two chapters.
7269464 I don't blame other people but probably need to update your story more. And maybe in your next chapter the humans parents come over but the biggest prize will be the Future King parents come over and he has a little sister and Big Brother and everyone's mad at the Future King and he had a girlfriend back on Earth that comes over too and she's mad more now that's a good story let me know.
Whelp, here I am. At the cliffhanger.
Now... I wait.
7360014
An interesting objection, but they already stated that Celestia would never be able to do so, nor would Luna.
On a personal standpoint, I agree with you, but the message they are trying to get to Tyler isn't:"Do as we say!" It's "We are doing it together, we are willing to help you. Able to help you."
As you said already: They care too much, love him too much to hurt him. But, and here it comes: Tyler is bit by bit ascending to a state of alicorn in human form. Now, in a herd where four out of five are in a state of alicornhood, what does this mean for AJ, who is still an earth pony? And Tyler himself doesn't sees this as rape, although he would have every single right to scream for it. I think AJ is the only earth pony mare ever able to have full power over a being more powerful than her. That was the point where the farm pony became uncomfortable. Tyler rested his fate into her hooves, willingly. Not because he had no other choice, but because he wanted to.
Until now, Tyler has a thing with each of his mares. I mean Celestia wants a proper spanking once in a while, Luna enjoys the attention and caring, Twilight loves hearing and learning new things about Earth... And AJ? AJ got this. She's in charge between the two of them. Why, you ask? Because Tyler thinks that the one mare who is the most down to earth should be the one being able to reel him in, should the time come.
Another fact also remains: They fixed the physical harm done in that hellride beneath Applejack and he got the point never to do things on his own. It sounds harsh and inhumane, but consider that Celestia and Luna already have bitter experiences with ignoring things for too long. They pulled the emergency break and each time you do that, things canter over. It was denial of bliss, but at one point, it might have become a bit painful.
As of now you should have noticed: Tyler is being shaped to be up for the tasks ahead of him and sometimes these changes are not always good or from beings he knows. Celestia wants him to become perfect and proper, before even considering of Luna or herself carrying his foals. Think of the Doctor, who is now believed dead by the humans. As Sage has already stated: Tyler is in a process of growing, maturing. Sometimes this will be painful. More about that in the upcoming chapters. That is, if I EVER find the time to get them done, now that I have a job. Curse you, real life!
Please tell me there will be an update soon... I don't care if it is a short chapter. Please?
7428648
Then I can give you some good news:
The story isn't dead yet and the update to the next chapter, 8k+ words by now, will be very soon, maybe even this week. Currently in a mood crisis and not much work on the story was done, but a few hundred words here and then made the progress happen. I contacted my proofreader, but didn't get a reply, but I've let you wait long enough, so the next chapter will seemingly go out raw and not proofread.
Uh oh, he's realizing that he may not quite be as mortal as he once was....... the shitstorm is approaching, and it's real smelly.......