twelve
I accepted Twilight’s offer of reading material, but opted for an enlargement charm and durability enhancement as I preferred to read for myself. As Trace was in the audience, I offered him a lift to my cave.
“Ah, your cave is over there, Tallic.”
I ignored him as I flew to the edge of the forest where I could smell Steelskin and the yellow pegasus.
As I came close, I saw him playing with... A displacer beast?
There was a donkey nervously shifting from hoof to hoof, but Fluttershy was completely calm.
I might need to rethink my opinion of her.
I trumpeted my arrival from a reasonable distance, causing Steelskin to look up, the donkey to jump, and the displacer beast to... teleport?
Fluttershy went belly up in the most comical faint I have ever seen.
Maybe not.
As I landed, the donkey nudged Fluttershy back onto her hooves. Steelskin was looking between the displacer-ish beast and me, trying to decide whether to abandon its affections or not. It had quickly recovered from its fright and was nuzzling Steelskin’s chin. Needless to say, I was surprised and intrigued that such a beast could be tamed enough to be trusted around small ones.
“Hello, Steelskin, my heart is relieved to see you looking better. Greetings, to you, donkey, you must be Miss Introspective.” My voice dropped down so that it would be less likely for Steelskin to hear. “I am inordinately grateful for the help you have given Steelskin with this infection. Please tell me any ways that I can help, as I have never heard of cures for it before.”
She looked at me in confusion. I could only assume I had made another mistaken assumption. I decided to just ignore it until I had time to study.
Steelskin struggled to his hooves and walked shakily over to me, leaving his mobility device on the ground while the... kitten cowered behind Fluttershy.
“Hey Tallic,” Steelskin said. “Sorry for being such a grump before.” His smile dropped away and it looked like he was going to start crying.
I nuzzled him, giving a low, comforting hum.
“Wow.” Miss Introspective ast staring at me. “I had heard the rumors, but now I need to apologise to you, Tallic. I would never have believed how gentle a dragon could be if I had not seen that with my own eyes... Please let me know if you need a reference.”
“That’s not a problem, Twi’s already found out that several of us accosted Miss Sweetheart with affidavits,” Trace piped up from my back, reminding me of the fact that this was just a pit stop on my way to my cave.
“What I meant was that I could provide a clinical battery of tests to determine his fitness to be a caregiver-not that I think this would be anything but a formality.”
“I thank you for the offer. If I determine that I will need it, I shall let you know.”
I decided I had wasted enough of Trace’s time and said my goodbyes before heading off to my cave.
I don’t know how long I sat petting Dino before Tallic stopped by. I was kinda disappointed he didn’t stay long, but I did get to apologize for being rude earlier and Miss Introspective is gonna try to let Tallic adopt me!
When Tallic left, my hind legs gave out and Miss Introspective helped me back to my walking wheels while giving me a lecture about trying to walk without them. Fluttershy also woke up from her daze and Dino came out from his hiding place behind her.
We said our goodbyes and started walking back to town.
“He really cares for you, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, Nurse Redheart said he trashed the front doors of the hospital when that tree hit me. Yelled at her and then tried to drag her back when she ran in for supplies. We think he thought she was running away.” I smiled as I remembered the story.
We arrived at my cave and Trace started doing his thing getting measurements and writing down notes.
“So, Tallic, any interesting stories from your jumps?”
“Quite a few,” I responded.
I thought for a moment, weighing the different options and deciding on a nice tame one that I have always looked back on with a chuckle.
“I was in one of the standard three race realities-human, elf and dwarf, when I was woken from a nap meant to last a couple years...”
~~~
“Are you sure this is skyclad armor? It smells like pineapple.” I heard an elf whisper outside my cave.
“But if it creates a magical armor around my skin, why can’t I wear my normal armor on top of it?”
I could not hear the answer, but did hear her response. “Well... okay, I guess that makes sense. Now where’s my bow?”
A naked elf girl jumped into the mouth of my cave and fired off ten arrows before I could stop laughing. Luckily for me, the arrows had only minor enchantments and bounced off my hide like pebbles. I quickly picked her up and noticed multiple... flavors. The most predominant were pineapple, sugar and ginger.
I think I want to talk with her a little more. I thought to myself as I broke her bow in half and tossed her deep into my cave. The wizard was stupid enough to be rolling around in fits of laughter just outside my cave.
I promptly ate him and brought the elf’s armor in to her.
She was actually quite good company despite being unimaginably gullible and I invited her to visit me whenever she liked. I did not, however consider it even remotely wise to teach her dragon slayer magic.
~~~
Trace looked at me with trepidation. “You should probably leave off the part about eating the wizard if you tell that to ponies. They’re a bit shaken by talk of eating sentient beings.”
He finished the measurements and put his notepad away.
“So it looks like I’ll easily be able to put a nice long lasting freeze spell, a barrier to keep magic from passing through, an alert crystal to let you know when the wards have been tripped, and a few pass keys to let others through.”
“What payment options would you accept?”
While we were walking back, I told Miss Introspective all about meeting Tallic. It was kinda painful to talk about beating up Rocky and how I felt about my cutie mark, but it also felt kinda good to let it out without screaming at somepony.
When we arrived back at the hospital, there was a whole crowd of ponies as well as Alex and Matt waiting for us.
“Hey, Steel, wanna give Tallic a surprise?” Pinkie Pie was grinning at me through that armor of his.
“What?” I stared around, looking at the two humans, all six of the element bearers, Big Mac, Trixie, Stronghammer, Emerald, and a whole ton of food and other packages.
“Cave warming party!” Pinkie Pie was sitting on top of a giant party cannon as she shouted her answer.
“I’m still not completely sure this is a wise idea,” Twilight Sparkle muttered. “Dragons are known to be fiercely territorial when it comes to their caves.”
“Oh, don’t be a worry wart, Twi. Auntie Pinkie’s got it all in hoof.”
Twilight gave her an irritated glare.
I looked over at Alex and saw him fingering that weird weapon of his nervously.
The fewmet eating elf tried to make me indebted to him by offering to give me the security system for free. He is as bad as a human when it comes to trying to manipulate others.
I ended up agreeing to pay half of what he said was the normative price-enough to cover materials and a little mark up so that I would have the right to decline any requested favors.
“Warp.”
Trace vanished, leaving behind the smell of teleportation magic and I settled down to read up on Steelskin’s condition.
I was surprised by my reaction to the books. It was both intriguing and mind numbingly tedious.
I was intrigued by the near perfect description of The Emptiness. I also understood why my kind could never conquer it. We are a fiercely proud and self sufficient race and the isolation that we find so restful is the antithesis of what these books were saying was the cure.
I also wanted to grind the book into the cave floor due to the dryness and general antiseptic nature of the book. It amazed me how a book extolling connecting with and exploring emotions could be so devoid of said emotions itself.
As I was just about to give up on the book and take a nap, I heard two pops followed by whispers.
My muscles tensed.
“Everyone here?”
My scales hardened.
“Cannon is loaded.”
My claws lengthened.
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.”
”SURPRISE!”
A group of intruders burst through the entrance of my cave.
Multiple ponies with two humanoids in the back.
I snarled and pounced, planning to sweep the majority of them against the wall and start crushing the ones that I missed.
The pink one in front pulled a cannon twice her size out from behind her... The Pink One!
...And fired it into my face.
Applejack loaded me onto a large glyph as Alex climbed into the town’s hot air balloon. I looked at it, silently naming the runes I had learned in magical theory class last year.
“Sorry yer friends can’t join ya,” she said.
“It’s okay, kinda wish I was in school now, too.” She gave me a comforting pat before moving off to get some supplies loaded on.
I traced my hooves along the lines, trying to figure out the purpose as I remembered the little golems we got to walk across our tables. I was pretty sure it was a teleportation circle, partly from the runes, but mostly because I didn’t see any other reason for us to be crowding on it.
I was only vaguely aware of others joining me along with a few crates of stuff.
A popping sound caught my attention as my guess was confirmed by the other one vanishing.
Twilight Sparkle got our attention as she stepped inside ours, making sure we were ready for the spell, and the next moment we were outside a cave and looking down on Ponyville.
While Pinkie Pie was getting us all set up, Alex came over.
“Hey, Steel, stay close to me when we go in, I’m not really sure Pinkie’s thought this through.”
I sat there picking streamers off my face as I tried to process what had just happened.
“Happy cave warming party,” Alex said, walking beside Big Mac as he pulled a wagonload of iron into my cave.
“This is even more insane than Drakkar Heartgourger,” I muttered to myself.
“Who’s that?” Steelskin sat next to me, staring up in curiosity.
“Well, I was taking a nap after being in a new reality for a couple weeks, when a paladin came striding in with what he described as a ‘smiley face’ emblazoned on his breastplate and printed on a flag hanging from his lance.”
I noticed Alex bring a hand up to his face, but the ponies looked at me with confusion.
“It looks something like this.” I used a talon to draw a circle with stylized eyes and smile in the floor of the cave. “It is usually colored yellow with the eyes and mouth being black.”
“The paladin greeted me with ‘It has come to my attention, dragon, that you are unhappy. Happiness is mandated by law in this land.”
“I decided to play along and said ‘Oh, you wish to make me happy? Then stand right here.’ I proceeded to draw an X in the floor.”
“Why?” The ponies looked surprised at Steelskin’s question.
“He asked the same thing.” I brought my talon down on the smiley face and ground the sand beneath my claw with a vicious smile on my face.
“That was my answer.” My smile melted as I saw the ponies squirm.
“I was only threatening, I did not actually do it,” I said, trying to mollify them after my mistake.
“Well, how about we get on with the cave warming gifts,” Alex said. “Mine’s an extra half pallet of iron, along with the two pallets I promised before.”
“Mine’s cupcakes,” an unusually restrained Pinkie Pie added. “The grey ones are my ‘special’ ones just for you, and the rainbow ones are for anypony who likes metal and gems.” She followed this up with a wink.
Pony after pony brought their gifts forward until the crowd started getting to me.
I walked out of my cave and drank in the afternoon air as the ponies set to work on the refreshments.
“You know, it’s bad form to leave a party in your honor.” Emerald came sauntering out of my cave, giving me a look of disdain.
There was that smell again. I noticed that mixed into the scents were those of a female dragon, then quickly noticed that all of the pheromones were of a similar nature.
“So, little pony,” I asked with a grin. “Why is it that you smell like the lust of a thousand species?”
"What?" Emerald stared at me with his mouth wide open.
"Your scent. You exude the scent of a thousand different animals in heat all at once."
"...Sorry. I bought this shampoo for my coat.” I found it quite amusing how flustered he was becoming as he started the inevitable lies.
“Y-You see, I was in a rush and grabbed a perfumed version that was made for mares.”
I stared at him with a smirk.
“The stupid stuff is designed to interact with a mare’s sweat to... alchemize into pheromones, but due to me being a stallion, the base reagent oxidized randomly producing...”
His jaw kept moving, but it was obvious his brain shut down.
“Hey Tallic, Emerald, what’s up?” Alex sauntered out of my cave.
“We were just discussing Emerald’s choice of shampoos.” I sat back and waited with amusement to see how the lies would pan out.
Sadly, the moment was ruined by Matt accompanying a group of hatchlings up to my cave.
"So... how many got hurt?"
Apparently Matt was a better judge of how dragons would respond to a surprise than the ponies.
"None of them, apparently a cannon firing party decorations is able to stop a charging dragon better than one would expect."
"Well damn, I owe Lyra a back massage... I don't suppose you could just give one a sprained ankle?"
I decided to play along with this.
"Perhaps you would volunteer?"
"If it'll get me out of having to listen to Lyra moan like she's in heat... I'll consider it."
I stared at him, trying to understand what he was saying.
“I assume this means you had a bet with said female?”
"Dude, any other pony wouldn't be so bad, but as much as me and Lyra get along, when it comes to my hands she can get a little... scary."
"Alex... why can't you do that to me?" Alex’s rainbow haired wife was looking at us from the cave mouth.
“Because you don't ask.”
Her eyes narrowed at that response. "Excuse us. Scoots?” She turned her gaze to the pegasus filly that came up with Matt. “You're staying at Applejacks's or Rarity's tonight. Don't care which, just do it.”
Scootaloo and two other fillies gave a cheer and excitedly started making plans.
“Mr Roberts, consider yourself requested," his wife whispered.
“Greetings, Oté. Are you here to purchase more of our unique wares?” Several cloaked and hooded ponies gathered to meet the newcomer. Their muzzles were the only part of their body visible and those were painted brown. The black cloaks covered them down to their hooves and brushed the ground, hiding even their hooves. The only color was an orangey yellow circle with eight arrows radiating out from it. This was positioned on their flank where their cutie marks would be.
“Yes, my research shows that my most recent target is weak against electricity, and I will need something long and sharp enough to pierce hardened steel,” the newcomer answered.
“Well, we have this little device.” A unicorn levitated over a small rectangular box in a pink glow.
“It is a recent acquisition from a reality filled with bipeds. The creatures who made it call it a ‘taser’ and use it often to incapacitate their own kind.”
“How large are these creatures?”
“Taller than us, but frailer and lighter. While lacking in strength, they have a cunning that would likely amuse our lord. As well as a cleverness for making some of the most wonderful horrors we have seen in our scrying.”
“I am unsure of the effectiveness of that against my target. It is... on the larger size, so I expect to need something with the ability to cause... a bit more... damage.”
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