i like where this is going

I heard the character's voices in my head as I read this. You caught my interest for this there were a few errors, but none that really compromised the structure of the story. Being a Gears fan, I have high hopes for this

It is really good so far but one the thing that felt out of place was Marcus's dialog. He is more of a silent character and even when he does speak his sentences are short and simple. I suggest implementing these changes to him, but that;s just me. Still, a good first chapter though!

Surprisingly good. Cole and Baird's scene was very well executed, both of them seemed very much in character.
I shall monitor this.

this is quite cool. You have my attention.

There, they shall find a magical Locust portal... because Kantus had to have been doing something to just heal drones like that.
Time to read... MOOORE, this definately reminds me of the Gears of War books.

Vero this is for u EXTERMINATE oh and I like this gears of war cross over so much I'm holding my rainbow dash themed lancer and the rateing give is over 9000 lol

I LOVE IT

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Agreed, friend. The author is clearly attempting to emulate the voice Karen Traviss. Except it's like a crummy voice impression rather than a perfect emulation.

Also, why is Hoffman there? Last we saw him he was at Anvil Gate. And if you recall, they communication with each other eventually went down, so that was why Delta had to travel all the way to Anvegad. There's really no given reason why he left; but we didn't have any means of knowing the state of Anvil Gate after the Locust attack. For all we know, it could have been devastated. If written to more closely match Karen Traviss' style, there would be an explanation for why Hoffman was there.

The wierd thing was, I was scrolling through the list, thinking, 'I hope there' said Gears of Wars crossover.' Next thing I see is this. AWESOME! Also, Baird will only work with people with opposable thumbs!