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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I actually got to chapter two I honestly don't know how to even make a response to this it's got it's lucid moments of actual story but they're few and a great deal far in between your racist views are appalling and your just an all round horrible human being I don't see how you got this story to go on for so long it would have been a good story if you just removed the psychotic ramblings and go to counselling and you better not cheap out on the psychiatrist
I... think that was unintentional?
When you write a story, generally you want to write a set of cool climactic scenes, so describe each scene leading up to it, connect them by the events of a plot, and foreshadow the hell out of the climax. Then repeat for your next cool scene, and so on. Overlap these plots for best effect, the more interconnected the better. Do this in order to say something to the reader that you thing is emotionally moving, or important. Say it. Then wrap everything up, with the consequences of all your plots tying each of them off, like threads in a weave.
Always describe every scene, painting a picture in words so the reader knows exactly what the characters are seeing, and can clearly imagine everything. Never explain yourself if you can help it. When you think you still need to explain, describe more. Keep the story focused and steady on every scene; if you go off on a tangent that's fine, but unless it's related to the scene, delete it and write more of the scene instead. I've written 10,000 words, then deleted all but 1 paragraph (though I always save the words for possible future use), so being able to put aside your ego and delete your own rambling is very important.
So... that's my suggestion on how you should write a story. You've got good grammar, and decent ability to communicate with words, so now just knuckle down, think of a story you want to write, and apply your skills to that. If this story was a sketchbook filled with random doodles, your next one could be a graphic novel. Er... minus the graphics, of course.
Oh man this is pure gold.
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I wrote this? Got to be honest, not lying when I say this even though it sounds hard to believe, but I have no memory of writing that. I'm sure I did...I just don't recall...
I like how its impossible to tell whether or not Knight is friends with Wolf.
Also this story is full of pure gold paragraphs such as:
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Well...I'm glad you liked my shit then. And hopefully you can find a lot more enjoyment as you go on. Especially when you get to my older episodes that I wrote 7 seven years ago (I'm sure you're find some gold out of it) since what you just read was a re-write from...6 years ago I think. The original one was split into two episodes and were a little over 2K words I think.
But I felt like it needed a re-write, especially since my writing has changed over the years, so there you go...
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Oh yeah and thanks for the watch too...
Help me. I'm trapped in purgatory. I started the troll song and just left it on, thinking it would just stop after a while.
It.
Hasn't.
Stopped.
I'm too lazy to turn it off and it hasn't stopped. Please end my suffering.
Trollololololololollo. Trolllolololoo. Trollolololool. Trollolololoool. Trollololoolo. Trolololol. Trolllloo. Trilolol. Trolololololo. Trolllloo. Trollolololoool. Trollololololololollo. Trololooooooooooooooooooolololooooooooooo.