My Little Pony: Universal Magic

by The Masked Ghost

First published


Expansion Story
Timeline (Contains spoilers if anyone cares that is, but I doubt it...)
Plans for the story or in other words, an outline (Obviously will contain spoilers for those that do care enough...)
Alternate Plans
"Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness. You say what you want to say when you don't care who's listening." ~ Allen Ginsberg

Episode 1: Life

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*NOTE: Always remember this whenever reading a story or anything in the arts, always review it for what it is, not for what you expect. It is quite an important lesson that I have learned and wish for others to learn as well, but sadly that is not the case as we all never do learn, not even the mature learn.*

Cold, remote, silent, those are the words that could describe this place of such amazement. This place was mysterious to everyone who felt its weird presence of mysterious silence.

However this tale I am about to bestow on you is not a fairy tale, but of a tale like no other. Once upon a time, there existed a portal that could lead to the outside of the universe.

There lied an area, a room some might say that led to other universes, but all it led to was death and destruction if not used properly. Some would use these universes for good, while others would use it for their own selfish needs.

However, in a way, this is like temptation, a deadly sin found in the bible. A sin of temptation of women and money, but this was a temptation of desires and dreams.

All it was but darkness, but at the end of the tunnel there was light. A light that had everything connected in its wake, and even showed the good of everything. Many would think of this place as a dream come true, a chance to do what they always wanted to do in their life.

However, in truth it is a curse upon many, a curse of death and regret. A curse of rebirth and sorrow. A curse of testing your will against anything, a curse of everything. It is not a gift, but only of a curse.

What lies within this room that is known as outside of the universe, lies nothing but darkness. It has led to many things as of a dearing mother losing her child, a company being destroyed, hidden secrets, memories that only lead to hurt others, greed, and even insanity.

However, insanity is the only thing that can keep you alive in this world, for it is a dangerous world indeed. However, this tale has much more than that, but of a tale of a quest to search for the answer of life.

A tale of an individual that only wants to have a good time, but fate will decide if that ever happens. Come in and have a seat, as you read a tale of his life story.

Grab a drink, or a snack or two of some kind as you read into his insanity. But do not be blind as you read, for there is much more within these words of his life story, as many others as well.

There are many tales to be told of this place, but let this be the first of many.

A Masked Ghost Story
My Little Pony: Universal Magic

I have lost so much. I have lost my faith, my friends, and even my family. I have lost so much in my life, it would make a man kill himself than living this nightmare.

I had no intentions for things to turn out this way, but this portal just makes me do things I rather not do. I don’t even have my own will for god’s sake. This portal keeps drawing me back in, like I’m missing a piece to a puzzle that doesn’t exist. I knew I should have listen to them…all of them…all of my friends when they were still there.

As I sit here, in a sleazy hotel, god knows where in Equestria. It could be a town far away for all I know. All I know is that I woke up with a headache. However I cannot forget what happened last night either.

I remember I was lying down in a pile of rubble, nothing but destruction of poor souls and bad ponies who could think they could get away with whatever they want. I was lying down on some bricks while someone was begging me to put them out of their pain and misery as they were on fire. As I sat up to look around me, I saw nothing but burnt bodies with a particular odor that would make someone puke from within and wish they could choke on it so they wouldn’t have to see what cannot be unseen.

Then I saw someone, limping away from me. His right forearm has been burnt off with burned skin and scars across his entire body. He was afraid of me, as he was trying to run away.

Soon he turned his head towards me and looked at my eyes with fear, as he knew he had been beaten. Soon I used my magic and grabbed a gun out and slowly walked towards him. Sadly the pony fell and was afraid of the death that was upon him.

I then saw him close his eyes as he was on the ground, waiting for me to kill him and put a bullet in his head. Even I was ready to put a hole through his head, or perhaps shoot him in some other spot where it hurts, so I could watch him bleed to death as he begs me to finish him off. Then again, he should have expected me to do this, to go after him, to make him suffer after what he did to me. After all he had put me through. He should have expected me to put him through hell as I enjoy every last second of it. It was the only thing he left me anyways, so why not take it and enjoy the revenge while it lasts. Besides, he was a bad pony after all, burning others alive while killing parents in front of their children. Then again, I've seen worse, so all that made him was nothing more but a guy who just thought he could kill me. To me, all he was just a poor soul who made the wrong mistake of messing with me. Especially after what I've been through lately.

I knew he was the bad guy, as he saw me as the bad guy as well. However how could I tell if he was evil. I know I could tell right from wrong, I wanted good things to happen. But then again, perhaps he was right. Perhaps I was the bad guy. Perhaps he wanted to do good in his own eyes. I’ll admit he was right, I couldn’t even tell when someone had intentions of murdering someone and someone who just wanted a friend at a bar late at night when you want to drink your pain away. Or when someone wanted to help the poor or banging my sister. Then I blacked out, not remembering what happened next. I must have stumbled into a hotel later that night, because I woke up with a headache.

Now I’m just by my window with the blinds closed, but with Celestia’s orange sun breaking through the cracks, while I’m drinking the pain away as I write this down.

I honestly have no idea what to do right now. In fact I rather just die, but I still have a few friends out there, still alive, and so I need to keep going, for them.

However, all I can say is this is so much better than being a human. Than being on Earth with all the rest of the poor souls.
I remember when I was merely but a small child, I always wanted to be special. To be someone that not a single soul was on that damn planet.

I was told everyone was special, but special is such a vague term, that it could mean anything. It could mean you’re a genius, or a deformed monster that not even your parents want to look at you every day.

They also call it a gift as I am told, but a gift is nowhere near close to what I would describe humans. I know I was once one of them, but I know who I am.

Humanity is nothing but a waste of precious life. Everyone says that they chose their own paths, but really, they all walk the same path, as I have walked my own path. I have found a few exceptions of course, but sadly, their kind is gone, forever to be forgotten by time itself.

I have heard many say to live life and have fun with it. I have heard where you only live once. What a bunch of fucking bullshit that comes out of their mouths. Those people do not know a single thing about life. They don’t how to live it at all.

They think they’re just living their life while they’re young, being rebels and let loose. Well let me tell you something, life isn’t about that. Life is more of a curse. Being human is a curse within itself.

Life doesn’t have to be that bad, as how I could have lived but sadly it never worked out that way for me. It just seems that the curse has still an effect on me right now, but surly it will all go away.

However humanity is nothing but of a curse, a sad, pathetic, unworthy curse. A curse filled with sins and regret.

I have also noticed how most of humanity eventually finds love…well I ask you this, WHAT IS LOVE!? All it is just nothing but to break your heart and get in your way.

I never saw love that way. Love from a child to a parent, I can understand and feel for, but for intimate love, it’s nothing but a waste. It is nothing but pain.

Of course, many of you are possibly thinking that I am a fool, but in truth, you are all the fools. Fools that are playing a game they cannot win, life itself.

Humanity is just full of lectures, those who only see as to be strict and live by the rules, while others live loosely. Some give up on life, while others believe to live it to the fullest.

They are all fools, from the mentally retards to the most smart of all minds. From the mentally insane to sanity. All are fools who cannot win.

For me on the other hand, I have a chance to win, but unless all is fixed, the odds are not in my favor.

So you may ask yourself, what has happened to my life? How did I get to this point in my life, where I’m drinking the pain away with liquor and writing down my memories?

Well, it’s a very long story, it may seem none as an illusion at first, but in the end, everything burns down, and the sad part is, many would watch everything burn down.

So, where should we begin? Well, there are three parts here and let’s just start off here, as in where I am from. Well, for one thing I’m human. I once lived on earth and I’ve got to be honest here, didn’t have much to live for.

For one thing, I was a teenager in high school. I was about 15 years of age while only having one friend. I had no girlfriend, I passed my classes, even though I never felt proud of it. I never had a Facebook, nor Twitter. I still fucked up and made many mistakes while back on Earth.

Fuck it man, I even had a cat. That just shows how pathetic my life was. However, I realized something. I realized something about life. That life is a game.

However, at the same time life is like hell. We’re pretty much living hell right now aren’t we. I mean, with all the wars, starvation, famines, murder, corruption, and a whole bunch of other shit. You must wonder, why? Well, that’s just it, we’re in hell.

However, there is a game to it. You try to make the best things out of life. You either steal, be famous for art, movies, Television shows, politics, or whatever that you did in life. Of course though if you can’t make the best out of it, you get really pissed off at those who do make the best out of life, and you have that anger inside of you.

You either just want to steal what they have or just kill them, so you don’t have to hear from them again. That or you just keep it inside of you and just control it.

That, and of course some don’t, and are actually happy for them. That just shows that they too make the best out of life. For me, I could never do so. Even if I couldn’t do something for the fandom.

I was a Brony back on Earth. I got introduced to it by Cupcakes, by a guy that I just know. The reason why he wasn’t a friend of mine is because he was a total fucking douchebag to me.

Hell, one time I needed a ride home from school and he pulled up with his car. And his car had a bunch of My Little Pony shit on it. Then he flipped me off then drove away.

I was really pissed at him. However, as I said when you can’t make the best out of life or just can’t get anything out of it, really; you just want to kill them. Well, not me; I didn’t. I just kept that anger down inside me. Besides, he got sued later by Hasbro for some copyright bullshit that none of us even pays attention to, because really; we don’t want to pay any attention to legal bullshit.

So that was my life. Although my life was heading in a good direction though when it came to school.

If I had passed my classes, I was looking at a fucking desk job for the next 40 years of my life, where all I do is nothing but mindless paper work and take some sort of shit from my boss that can go fuck himself.

So I always wished a way out of it. I just wanted out of this hell of mine and into something else. Although, I didn't expect all of this other shit to happen to me, where my friends die and I'e lost so much time. I have no idea what's happening anymore, I can't even make sense of anything, but that's besides the point.

Besides, it didn’t have to be My Little Pony or the ponies from the show coming into reality and having a My Little Dashie moment.

Along as it was away from this hell hole. Something that hasn’t happened to anyone else before. And I don’t mean such as a once in a life time chance to become famous, or I somehow become king of a place.

I didn’t mean that at all. I meant I don’t care if It involved me being kidnapped by fucking aliens, being tortured or dissected on. As long as it was any place but here. Besides, if you remember all that hate I built up, at least I could forget they even exists and don’t have to hate anymore.

However, sadly hate will always follow you wherever you go sadly, just like your demons. I just wanted something to happen to me, that was all. Either have something special happen to me, and sadly no one is special, we’re all the same, except for me and what happened that one night.

One day, when I got home from school, which I was locked out of my house and was in rage of trying to open the dam door and cursing up a storm, I got in and went to my bedroom, to think about all the things I just said to you.

Then I laid there for a moment and then my parents eventually wanted to have a talk with me. Now with them, they weren’t abusive to me. No, not one bit at all. In fact, they were loving parent’s.

However in my eyes, they were just there to help me out and prepare myself in the big world that will fuck you over in a second if you don’t play the game right. I didn’t see them for nothing else. In fact, I saw them as just any other human being, worthless. They acted the same like the rest, trying to win the game at life.

Sure, I might’ve loved them as a child, but really they can just go to hell for whatever I care about. As long as they just leave me the fuck alone in peace, I’m fine without them.

Then again, what the fuck could I do without them? Like I said, I try to do so many fucking things for the fandom, but yet other’s succeed while I just get stuck at the bottom.

Sure, I know I can just look over my errors and try again and hopefully I get as big as them, but that’s not how life works. How life works is this. It does whatever the fuck it wants. You don’t control it, nor you can control anything about your life.

Life controls you and there is no escape from it. So, if life fucks you over, either not having all of your hard work getting recognized in a fandom, or you’re working at a stock market and you get fucked over thirty four million dollars from your share, it just means life enjoys fucking you over and there’s really nothing you can do about it.

Your only choices are is to keep the feeling of hatred down inside of you, steal what they have, but eventually getting caught and getting sentence to prison, or kill them.

It’s your choice and like I said, I rather keep it down. Fuck it, I always wanted to be a movie director when I grew up and I had my thoughts and ideas, but I knew I was going to get fucked over by life. They just ended up to be forgotten dreams, dreams that I sometimes question if it’s real, for in my future, it seems my stories collided with my life. Sadly I have no clue if it is or not, but seems to be so real. So I decided to just save some anger and just go with whatever life gives me.

Besides, I only have a short time to live, along as whenever I’m an old person in a hospital and the doctors are trying to keep me alive from a heart attack or just something that all old people have when it’s their time to go. Of course, why not commit suicide?

Well, I believe in god and I do want to play life right, if I can’t make the best out of it, and not commit suicide or burn in hell.

So my parents were in the kitchen, talking to me. They thought it would be great for us as a family to go and to take a trip to a cabin in the woods. You know, with the peacefulness and horseback riding as such. You know, to really connect with nature.

Now if I was still a small child, I would be excited as fuck. I would be bouncing off the walls, saying how I couldn’t wait for the trip to come. Well, for me right now, is no. mostly because what point is there? I didn’t foresee a point for me to go. Then again, perhaps a killer would come and try to kill us at the cabin. Death would have been better. It could’ve saved me from all of the pain, but then again, certain things wouldn’t have been discovered if I wasn’t killed, so I guess it wasn’t all that bad. Then again, if it did happened, I wouldn’t have been in this mess the first place.

So we went on the trip during my summer break. We drove to Tennessee since I lived somewhere in the fucking mid-west, with nothing else to do except to watch crops grow or kill myself, it wasn’t that long of a drive.

At the time I had my Playstation Vita, so at least I got some type of entertainment other than live animals out in the woods like the same fucking thing’s that we see at a zoo when we were kids.

Well, we got to our cabin and I unpacked and shit. I had my room while my mum and dad had theirs. We went to see about horseback riding, since it was still early in the day.

Well, I just happened to have a pony shirt on and the rancher noticed it. He asked me about it and I told him everything that he needed to know. Then he just made fun of me for just liking ponies and really; I didn’t give a fuck. In fact, I just gave him the bird and walked away.

My parents were pissed at me that night and you know what I said? Well, let’s just say I let my anger out from all those years of build up. Let’s just say I had said many things that night, things that would have them disown me. However, that night it would have been fine, because I was on my own anyways.

After I talked to them and yelled, I stomped on the ground and went into my room and slammed the door. Also, we were renting a cabin, and the room just so happened to have a record player and some good ol’ classic music which was a Victor Wood song.

So, I grabbed a record disc, put it on the player, and let the music come out of the speakers as I laid in my bed thinking about my life. I just stared at the ceiling, while the music played on and on.

My parents didn’t even say a single word to me that same night. They just turned off the lights and went to bed, without a sound. Then after an hour or two, I noticed the clock. It was one or two in the morning and I just sighed. I went up to my window and looked up at the stars.

They were quite beautiful, I must admit. I mean, it’s those rare moments that just keeps you happy and going in life. I mean without all the light pollution and all, I’ve got to admit they’re quite awesome to look up at the sky.

It was also during the summer constellations and I could make out the Pegasus and the Lyra. Along with then Vulpecula and the Sagittatius. I even recognized some of the famous ones during the summer, which was The Water Bearer and The Sawn.

Quite awesome to know so much because like I said, I passed my classes in school. Then something caught my eye. I looked into the forest as best as I could with my eyes, and I saw a ball of light.

I saw it just hovering in mid-air. As it was looking at me, knowing as I was awake. It just hovered there. Then, it slowly moved deeper into the forest. I also had some sort of feeling as it wanted me to follow it. Like it was communicating to me, to follow it and to begin my journey into madness.

Well, I did just that, but only because I was curious to what it was and wanted to investigate it. So I got my shoes on as quickly as I could and got a flashlight so I can see in the dark forest ahead of me.

I also grabbed a revolver that the cabin had just in case someone wanted to break in. I grabbed it just in case this was a trap of some sort or I was attacked by an animal.

Sure, I would have to have a much better gun then the one I had, but it wasn’t like the place had a fucking shotgun. So, I quietly went out without making a single sound that is to be heard by my parents.

I opened the front door and gently closed it. Then, I went towards the forests and went into the woods. I had the flashlight on and had the revolver in a ready position in case any animal or anybody was going to kill me.

I slowly walked and as I moved deeper into the forest, I saw the ball of light. It is as if the ball of light waited for me to come. When I was in view of the thing, it moved along and I continued to follow it.

Then, eventually the pattern kept on doing the same thing. Then, it was about an hour or so when the ball got to its final destination. It was a cave.

However this cave wasn’t even on the map. I was starting to get a bit scared here, however I knew that I was also strong. Strong in spirit and a bit strong in combat. Just not strong enough to actually take on three or four dudes at once though.

That, and I knew I was also a bit brave, however even brave men are scared, but they are brave because they face whatever they are scared of instead of running away like a coward would. So I put a foot into the cave. Then, I slowly put the next foot into the cave.

I had my flashlight pointing in front of me while having the revolver at my hand ready to go just in case something happened. So I went deep and deep into the cave as I much I could possibly could go.

I even had to go down a few feet as well. Then, I reached the end. I had thought that this cave was pointless and there was no reason for me to be there. Then, I turned off the light, but when I did I still saw a light, but faded though. Apparently, there was a Connor.

So I went around the Connor and I saw this portal thingy. It was glinting a bit, but still it was a portal that was light. I also saw the glowing ball there as well. It went through the portal and I wondered something here, should I go or should I not? Well, for one thing I thought maybe this would be different.

That, and I have came this far so why not? I also asked myself this question, which is a question I’ve always questioned myself and othesr. In fact, this is a question for you whoever reads this. If you had a chance to leave your ordinary life and have another life, like leave your life for another.

If you had a chance to go on an adventure and leave your life forever, would you do it? For me, the answer is yes, but that was at the time. Now, it seems to been a mistake for going through it, but at least it got me somewhere that I needed to be. However, I was worried about what the portal felt like when it would touch my skin. So I stuck my pointing finger in the portal bit and it felt a bit weird I’ll admit, however it was slow moving in it.

So I thought that was weird, but decided to just take a chance in my life and jump through it. So I did and it was slow. I mean, this was happening for a reason. The reason was that, well, I was going outside the universe. I mean, I was transiting from a place that had time to where there is none at all.

So I eventually got through the portal and I ended up at the other side. For some odd reason there was still gravity. Although, I kind of floated a bit in mid-air, but I couldn’t control it. And for that mattered, I looked for that ball of light. Well, I didn’t see it anywhere at all.

It was nowhere to be found at, although let me explain where I was at though. I was in a white room. Everything was white. Even the ceiling was white, although there was really no solid surface though, just more space up above.

Then, the walls and the floor were covered in these white tiles that you would see in a Portal game. Then, the walls were covered by these portals. I mean, there were millions on them.

They reached up to the ceiling and the thing was that there was an actual ceiling, however it kept rising as more portals were being added. Although, only three-fourths of the room like area was covered in portals. There was this one wall that had none.

However, in place of the portals was a locked door and a tinted glass. I tried everything to unlock that door, but the door doesn’t open. It only opens from the other side. That and whatever that door and glass window is made out of, doesn’t seem like to be made from earth.

That shit was made from unbreakable stuff. You could nuke the dam thing and it would still be standing there. So that’s where I was at, but no sign of that ball of light. However, what I did find was an open portal.

Well, you see all the portals were closed and the way you need to open them is what I call, 117. It’s just some weird stuff that you find in other universes on every planet that life exists on that has it. It’s well hidden I should mention though. It’s like a yellow dust if I had to describe it.

I just invented a machine to use this yellow dust and use it to open portals to other universes. Also, let’s just say that it is a bitch to find them. It’s also a bitch to have enough just to open one universe portal.

So this open portal was to a universe that I had created. So, let’s just say that I was god of this universe. So, I went in and I ended up in another cave, however this cave was occupied by my characters that I created. The Knight and Lawman.

You see, I had this idea for a movie that I had was this guy that dressed up as a hero, but really wasn’t a hero. He would kill and even kill a citizen if he had to do so.

He dressed up like in a Dark Knight costume, expect that it was like a combination between The Dark Knight costume and Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe. His voice was also like The Dark Knight’s one and a bit of a combination from Rosach’s from Watchmen.
He also knew how to make his own weapons and fight with swords and knew hand- to-hand combat as well. He was pretty much emotionless and didn’t believe in love.
As for Lawman, he just dressed up like a combination between Client Eastwood and Sake from Metal Gear Solid who also had an eye patch on. He was also too good at weapons, mostly sniping of course.
So, Knight, who I call TK now a days, was planning something with Lawman with a map. The idea for TK’s enemies was the Illuminati, just an idea.
So he was planning on something on planning their next moves together to kill them. Of course he had others that I created, but it was mostly him and Lawman.
However, I had to be careful on how to approach him. I mean like I said, he would kill a citizen if he needed to.
So I slowly walked out of the shadows and I said, “Hi, uhhhhh... not sure how to introduce myself here, but um, you know, I’m…”
Then I was cut off by my own creation, TK, and he said to me, “Who are you! How did you find me out and where I am at!? Who told you!?”
Then I just sat there, speechless.
Then TK said to me, “You better say something now, or I’ll fucking make sure your life will be a living hell for the rest of your life. You won’t even see daylight again. Now, answer my dam fucking question! Who are you and how did you get here!?”

Then I said what I needed to say which was, “I..I..I’m from another universe. I was in the woods and found a cave that lead to a portal. The portal leads to…well, I’m not sure to what it leads, but it seems like it leads to other universes, like outside the universe I guess. Then I found this universe opened up and I thought I go and check what it is. And it just so happens to be that you are one of my many creations or ideas that I had created in my mind. Therefore, I am your creator.”

Then Lawman said, “Yea, you’re fucking dead now. Are you suspecting for Knight here to believe that bullshit and…”

Then TK cut him off and he said, “He’s right. He tells the truth from where he is from and who he is.”

Then TK let me go. Let me explain, TK has a helmet on and he had a bullshit detector in it.

Then Lawman was a bit shocked by this and he then said, “Wait, what? Are you saying this kid is our creator. Our…god?”

Then TK just stared at him and somehow Lawman understood what he meant. Then again, TK doesn’t joke around. He never does.

He’s always serious and always emotionless. He never cries nor feels love of any sort. He is just the way he is, just the way I created him to be that way. Of course, he sees humanity the way I do, worthless.

Then Lawman said, “You can’t be serious here. I mean just look at him.”

Then TK said, “It doesn’t matter. If he is our creator, then he is our creator. If he says that he is from another universe, then he is from another universe. Deal with it.”

Then TK looked at me. He then asked me, “So, you got a name?”

Then I went thought my head. I could use my real name, which at this point I have forgotten, but then I thought about using a better name.

So I then answered back TK, “Sure do. The name is Knight.”

Then Lawman couldn’t believe what the name that I had. So of course he had thought I named myself after a hero, well sort of, after TK. Then I spoke up and said, “Relax. It doesn’t matter. We can call him, TK. You know, short for ‘The Knight’.”

Then Lawman gave a sigh and then said to me, “Yea, but having both the same fucking name doesn’t mean it’s still not fucking stupid.”

Well, we talked for a bit and I showed them where I came from. I told TK about how the cave wasn’t on the map and that I was a bit worried I might not be able to come back.
Then TK said to hold on for a moment, which I did and he came back with a device that he had made in his hands. It was a teleport device. Where ever that I may be at, I can instantly teleport back to off the grid. By the way, that’s what I call being outside of the universes.
So I decided to go back home and come back another time. When I got out, it only had been about thirty minutes since I left the cabin. However, it was about three hours that I spent off the grid. Time moves differently depending on where you go.

So I went back to the cabin and went off the grid very often. I even had my own adventures, which I’ll tell another time.

However, I also made many enemies while I was off the grid. One of the main one’s and the one that I sort of fear a bit, is TF or The Forgotten for short. He was an old creation that I created as a child or about five years of age, but then I forgot about him for ten fucking years, along with many other creations that I have made in the past that was later forgotten. However, they are all dead except for TF. I regret ever creating him, because ever since I forgot him, all he wants is revenge. And that is sadly one of my downfalls, because he will break anyone, either if it’s friends or family, he will kill whoever he want to, and he doesn’t go down easily either.

However, if I wanted to describe TF, I would say he is the most insane gentleman I ever met in my life.

He would do just about anything just to see me suffer the worst that any other has suffered in their lives. He also succeeded in his goal too. Nevertheless, at the same time, he gave something to me.

Also, another thing that I should mention about this universe thing. There is another thing like 117, however it’s totally different.

You see, when you’re off the grid you can do just about anything, although they take time to master certain skills to do certain things, so it isn’t easy. However, you can take these powers and do whatever you want with them, even within an area of physics.
I call them off the grid powers. You can only use it in a syringe, but you can do just about anything. So, that’s about all the basics that you need to know for right now.

As for the other things in my past, I’ll talk about them from time to time throughout my life’s story and eventually talking about my old adventuring days.

However, there is something else though that I didn’t tell anyone about off the grid of course, however I had my reasons, but fuck it, I rather not say those specific reasons.

Also, there is something else you need to know before we move on and I’ll make it a long story short. I eventually left Earth and everything that I had and erased my parents and relative’s memories of ever having me even exist, and collapsed all the caves that had the portal to off the grid. Or at least I had thought of course. It would be like if I was a ghost to them, and in truth, it is better to be a ghost than to be known.

However, let’s move on to where another place where I could’ve started with my life’s story. Let’s start here, in a fucking cave that is in the Everfree Forest.

Although, the cave isn’t too far from Ponyville either, but still. So what happened here was, I eventually found a My Little Pony universe, however there are many.

Many where it’s actually for adults, or it’s horrible or it’s where the characters are killers. So many alternate universes to choose from.

However, I wanted to retire from my adventuring days, and live in a MLP universe. However, I wanted a legit one, so I found an Official universe. An official universe is where it’s a legit universe, however, it’s reality could be different. If it were to be a 2-D style of reality, it can still be legit, or it something could be slightly off about the reality. However, whatever you do in this Offcial Universe, will also affect other Offcial Universes that are related to the Offcial Universe that you are in. However, as far as my knowledge goes, there are at times a few exceptions, but clearly it's not the right time to explain it.

So, let’s just say shit happened and I eventually was on my own. I found a nice cave to rest at and unfortunately, it was to a home of timber wolves. So what did I do? I fought them off of course.

Then I killed them all by setting them all on fire. However, there was one timber wolf in particular that didn’t fight back. In fact, he didn’t even want to fight. In fact, we became friends.

I named him Wolf. He also seems to understand me and can respond to yes or no questions. I even showed him where I came from, or at least what I have showed him. So we soon became best friends.

Also I should mention of those what I look like a pony. I have a blue coat, although it is almost as similar to Luna’s but a bit lighter then hers. I also have a black mane, and a bit of a straight mane style hair or although it’s sort of hard to explain what my mane looks like and all, because I don’t believe I even saw it on the show.

I also wear a black cowboy’s hat and I also wear a satchel from time to time. However, as a human, I wore a black T-shirt, a black leather jacket, dark blue pants, and a pair of black shoes that you would consider to go with this type of outfit, And to top it all off, a short hair cut and a rugged beard look on my face. So, what happened in this case was this. It was about one year since I was living in the cave and me and Wolf became best buds.

We were planning on taking a trip around Equestria and seeing what it has to offer. Then my plan was to find a nice place to settle at in Ponyville and just relax. However, just as on the night that Wolf and I was about to leave for the trip, TF came back.

He came all fucked up and shit to the cave entrance. When I saw him, Wolf growled at him. He was ready to defend me, however I told him to back down and let me handle the problem at hand.

TF said to me, “So, I see you’re going to fight me like a man, instead of your sack of shit of a Timber wolf to defend you. Good job. Now you’re actually a man now. I mean, you have been living for over 50,000 years, and now it seems to me that you’re finally wanting to become a man of some sort. Good job for you, but it’s too fucking late. One of us is going to leave this cave, while the other one doesn’t.”

Just to keep in mind it didn’t happen, but something like this did happen though in the future. Then I charged at TF and was about to give him a blow in the face with a punch, but he was a step ahead in the game and grabbed my forearm and twisted it.

Yea, I was in pain. Then, he pushed me outside and there was a puddle of small water. My face landed in it and when I went to get back up and fight again, I saw myself for what I really was. I was a fucking unicorn. I mean, I favored a Pegasus then a fucking unicorn.

I was really pissed off. I mean, all my anger inside me was building up and I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. However, it wasn’t because of what I was, but of trying to cope with reality. I’ve always questioned life itself and wondered how did I get to be in this body. And when it gets to me, I just black out and go insane.

Then TF said to me, “Come on now. I thought you wanted to be man and fight me. What the fuck are you waiting for!? Get the fuck up and fight me you bitch!”

Then I said to him, “Leave me alone TF. Go before you know what’s coming to you.”

Then TF said, “Oh, and what the fuck are you going to…”

I then cut him off and I turned around to him and said, “Leave me the FUCK ALONE!!!!!”

I had blue electricity coming out of me, and there was even white shit in my eyes. You couldn’t see any pupils at all. There was even this beam of light coming out of me.


I was really pissed off not being a Pegasus and trying to cope with reality itself. I was even surprised that I could rather speak in the royal Cantorlot voice. I didn’t even know at the time I had it in me, nor speak the language.
Then, I lost control of my powers and couldn’t concentrate on TF anymore.
Although, I do recall TF saying to me, “I’ll be back. And when I am back, you will regret that you even created me.”
Then, he left and only TF and Wolf saw my amazing powers. However, they are not the only ones that have their side of the story now.

Next Time:
Knight: I was able to beat TF this time, but the words he said before he left scares me of what he has planning for me in the future. However, I am more scared as I have a strange abilities of powerful magic that I have no idea where it came from or how to control it. It’s a mystery to me for now, but I am also founded by characters from the show, and my destiny has been changed forever.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 2: A New Home

Episode 2: A New Home

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So…as I said before, Wolf and TF were not the only ones to see my amazing abilities to use powerful magic and talk in the Royal Cantorlot voice.

However, as a bit of a recap, just in case however, I was in the cave with Wolf preparing for our trip we were about to take to visit around Equestira. However, TF was on my trail and somehow found me, which at one point I thought he was dead when the cliff collapsed into the water, but that is another story for another time that I like to call The Fall.

Sometimes I get a bit emotional about it, like depressed because of it. I mean, I get so depressed about it, it makes me just want to commit suicide, like blowing my head off with a shotgun to my mouth.

And to be quite honest with you, that was not the first time that thought came to mind. Real quick, before I even found this universe portal, let us just say I was a wreck.

I could not keep my life straight; I thought that I could not go anywhere. If I was going to keep this hate that I kept hidden deep inside myself, for those who had success and I didn’t, even though I tried everything that I could and I was just thrown aside and to be forgotten, honestly, would you be able to hold that in forever? Long Story short, I was depressed and nothing more than that really.

My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 2: A New Home

Anyways, back to the main story, and instead of that depressing back story shit…I know, this must be really depressing for you right now. You might have expected a bright and colorful story about ponies and how they went on awesome adventures and made friends with a dragon or some shit like that.

That and sunshine and farts and rainbows and…you get the point, how a little kids show would be, or a family show I should say.
Well, it is, along with a few more depressing stuff.

Anyways, after you compare the thought of a story about ponies being family friendly but really turning out to be adult friendly, like I said, let me recap a few things.

I was in the cave, with Wolf gather and preparing for our trip to explore the world that we were in. Then TF came out of nowhere and surprisingly survived the fall.

Then we started to fight each other and I found out I was a unicorn that was of a dark blue-ish color coat and a black mane and tail, with a mane style of…well it’s hard to explain, but whatever.

It’s kind of like a normal stallion mane style I guess. I also had light-ish, blue-ish eye color. I’m not sure of the eye color name, but it’s a general description of it. Then I yelled and had amazing powers that were more powerful then Celestia’s and Luna’s magic combined and yelled in the Royal Cantorlot voice of course.

By the way, if you’re wondered what TF looked like, he looked like Doctor Whooves, except the colors were a bit darker, and he had those sleepy stuff under his eyes.

Like those dark circles under his eyes, I suppose you can call them. Of course, his cutie mark…I honestly didn’t catch it, but whatever.

Well, I believe what I said was, which I’m not sure, but I was very close to Ponyville where the spot I was at the time. Ponyville was nice and quiet at nighttime and it was quite peaceful. No pony was disturbed and sleeping very well.

You may see it as like a nice peaceful town where you just feel like going to sleep at, in fact, I feel like going to sleep right now at the thought of it. Fuck it, I’ve got to keep going.

Anyways, not all ponies were asleep, but Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia were still awake at the time of Luna’s Night. They were still up because they were alicorns and they had to attend to their royal duties of course.

Well, they were at Twilight’s house, and of course, Twilioght continued to stick to her place instead at Cantorlot since she became an alicorn. Of course, this is right after season 4 took place.

Well, to be a bit more specific, since I know some bastaerd somewhere is going to be complaining about that tiny bit of detail that I didn’t mention about my life is going to be a bitch if I don’t. In other words acting like an immature adult, then again it’s not like I act like a mature adult all the time.

Fuck it, I’m both, even if that doesn’t make any sense. Well, to be specific, it was right after season 4 happened, as in after Twilight’s adventures with her friends of season four ending.

Well, Celestia’s carriage to go back to Cantorlot to rest for the night was by Twilight’s place and ready to go. Celestia and Twilight just finished a boring and political stuff that I’m pretty sure you’ll be thankful that I didn’t say what it was, because it was politics.
Besides, an argument about black guys and Asians was going to pop up soon, so I did you guys a favor. I’m not sure what I said either, but let’s put it like this, a black guy versus a white guy for presidency.

Who would win, I’m not sure, but it is a black guy and a white guy, so it makes it special for the audience…and when I mean by that I mean for the retarded undecided voters, which makes up seventy-five percent of the country’s population of the United States.
And if you were offended by that random statement, well I’m pretty sure the Muslims can do worse. I mean, they can burn you with a small video of a typical American white guy and a white guy for a president making money and shitting on each other.

I’m pretty sure you’ll be more offended by that then by my jokes, but whatever, I’m in charge of this story here, well my life story that is…which is a weird way of saying it, but let’s go on with the good shit.

Once Twilight and Celestia was out the door of the library, Celestia said to Twilight with a smile upon her bitch face, and that is not a mistake, “Well, I think we made a very good decision for the royal subjects of Equestria Twilight. I will be looking forward to the contract that you have to sign sometime soon. Until then, I suppose you should get some rest. It has been a long day for us, and there is still plenty work days ahead of us.”

Then Twilight said to her bitch teacher, “I do certainly agree Celestia. I think that I am starting to get more tired than Spike on Winter Wrap Up Day. I should start getting ready for bed and take my bath I suppose.”

Then Celestia said as she was walking to her very shitty carriage that is a cheap bitch, “Yes, I shall see you tomorrow Twi…”

Then Celestia was cut off by me, with that power shit and my magic from a long ass distance. When they saw this, Celestia and Twilight looked in amazement to what the fuck they were looking at.

Also, before I move on, I’m also pretty sure I’m going to get those annoying Grammar Nazi’s when they’re reading my amazing life story, which I’m pretty sure it is amazing, because I did kill a guy for it.

Anyways, I’m pretty sure some Grammar Nazi’s are snooping around, possibly looking for retards to pick on, it’s their normal meal that they eat every day. Well, I offer you three thousand Jews to leave me alone. I will even throw in some deadly gas and guns to shoot them with as well to leave me alone and do not interrupt my story.

I shall wait for your response and once I have your agreement, I will give you the Jews and you can kill them and torch them. Perhaps you can get some Jewish information out of them about their plans to take over…I don’t know what Jews like these days…Rabbi planet? I don’t know, just thinking off the top of my head here, and start a world war three. I mean, come on, we all know genocide is going to happen at some point.

By the way, I don’t speak German just in case for that one guy that does come for the offer and he’s from Germany. I know those Germans really good like their Jews and shit. I mean, they like their Jews nice and weak so they can kill them easily. Anyways, I wait for your reply…and once I have the contract signed, I will have your Jews and deadly gas ready for you and you will leave me alone.

And I should mention if the Jews ask you what you’re going to do to them, just say that you’re going to throw them a party for them, because I already told them that the deadly gas was party gas.

So….aside from that very….very…extremely dark joke about good ol’ fashioned genocide, while Celestia and Twilight were looking upon my amazing power, the guards that were at the carriage were preparing their horns as if they were expecting for a fight was about to occur.

However, Celestia looked at them with a glance that says, ‘Dude, calm the fuck down, it’s possibly nothing. Besides, we’re New Yorkers, it’s all cool and our Brooklyn accent. Besides, we have those Jersey people to worry about right now. They think they’re tougher then us, well we’ll show them, right boys? Yeah, let’s go kick their fucking asses and show them that we mean business, and after that, we can get a nice good ol’ New York hot dog. Then we can also pick on the Jews while we’re at it, those Jews and their funny voices. We have the better voices…not them.’

Yup, that kind of look, which possibly very little know what that look is, so to be specific, it’s that one look Celestia gives pretty much all the fucking time.

Like that look that she gives with that ok face on while you’re looking like in the back of Celestia and she has to weird Asian like type for eyes. Whatever, it’s just a look that she gave to tell the guards to back down.

Then Twilight went up to Celestia and she asked her with a worry in her voice, “What do you think that beam of light is Celestia? Do you think it is a sign that we are being under attacked?”

Then Celestia looked at Twilight, with again that look that she gave the guards except it was a bit of an ok type of look.

Celestia then proceeded to say to Twilight, “I am not entirely sure Twilight. It is very difficult to tell what this is right now. For right now, it could be anything, so it is very cautious to in the Everfree Forest right now. However, in order to insure the safety of all the citizens of Ponyville, or depending on what it could be, the safety of all of Equestira itself.

We must investigate it to make sure it will not harm any citizen here; it is our up most important duty as a ruler of Equestria. However, be very cautious Twilight Sparkle, whatever is in the forest could kill us in a heartbeat. So be prepared for anything to happen Twilight.”

Celestia’s guards then were preparing for an attack once more, or perhaps they were doubting that the princesses was going to come back from the forest, but Celestia gave them the look once more to stand down.

Then as they were about to take a step forward so they could investigate the Everfree Forest, they then, in oddly enough of weird timing, heard my yelling voice of the loud Royal Cantolot voice.

However, it wasn’t too loud for them for their position wasn’t close enough, but loud enough to make clear of the words that I was saying. Once they heard what I said aloud, Twilight then said to Celestia while having yet a worried glance, and at this point it seems to always be a worried glance because its common sense…well almost anyways.

Well Twilight said to Celestia, “Did…whatever is in the Everfree Forest talk in the Royal Cantorlot voice? I wonder whatever is speaking in the Royal Cantorlot voice is giving a warning to about anyways.”

Then Celestia was looking down at the ground, with a weird look on her face, as if she had a bit of sadness in her eyes, to which she then said to Twilight, “Yes, I do so as well Twilight. However, something tells me that this is important that we must find out that this pony is that is causing this beam of light to happen.”

Twilight then saw Celestia, as she hung her head down and had a bit of sadness in her eyes as well, and while she almost started to cry.

Twilight then again of course…look, Grammer Nazis, just take my offering that is for you and get the fuck out of here, especially you hardcore critics. Besides, I’m sure you don’t want to be killed by Tom Hanks at an award party somewhere in London.

Anyways, Twilight then asked Celestia, “Celestia, are you alright? Is there something bothering you right now?”

Celestia then got out of her trance and dried up her tears and she said to Twilight as a response to her question, “Yes, I am quite alright Twilight. I just have not been feeling good this morning. In fact, lately, I have been having a sick feeling in my stomach that even the doctors cannot even explain.

However, I have been having this weird and sick, or it is more of a feeling like that something isn’t complete, since the day you brought my little sister Luna back to me. I have been having the feeling of that something is still not quite complete, but strangely not too long ago, about three days or so the feeling went away, but now I am having this weird feeling that it is complete, as in whatever has not been complete is complete.

However, the feeling that I have is telling me that it also should have been completed a long time ago, such as when Luna and I were merely but small little fillies but of the age of six and eight, while our dearest mother in heaven was looking after us. However, let us not worry about my physiological health right now; let us focus on the task at hand.”

As Celestia was shaking that weird feeling off her, Twilight had that weird look that something wasn’t right, however she too decided to shrug it off as well.

They then started to head off to the Everfree Forest, as the sea of light I was giving off was still there.

However, TF had disappeared and escaped, while I still was going berserk with my powers that I didn’t even know that I had in the first place. While I was still going crazy with my newly discovered powers, Wolf was acting like a pussie, as he was afraid to come near me, but only because the beam of light was just too much for him.

However, I believe he was also creped out for a bit as well because I had those white less eyes or the eyes with no pupils, as if you’re having an exorcism done on you, except I wasn’t possessed by a demon.

Although if I was, chances are the demon would have already molested me on the inside and violate me and I would be crying about it in the shower, like a strawberry being violated by a worm.

Well, it didn’t take no longer than five minutes for Celestia and Twilight to reach my spot that I was at where my cave home was at with Wolf in it.

However, they didn’t just walk up to me and put a hoof on my shoulder to calm down, but instead stood near the area that I was at and stared at me, but then went behind a decent size rocks to hide from me. They then peeked at me and started to plan their next move.

Twilight suggested to Celestia, “What do you make of this Celestia? Should we try to communicate with him or should we try to harm him?”

Then Celestia said to her once favorite student…but not anymore, so take that you Twilight bitch, “I am afraid to make a choice here Twilight. I am not sure if he is an ally or an enemy, but I have a weird feeling in me once more at this moment. It is as if I am having a weird déjà vu.

As if I know this stallion by name and face, by I do not know him at all. However, I feel like I know him from my past, but I never met him before. However, just like the lesson that you have been taught not too long ago, I shall trust my gut and talk to him peacefully, however it will be quite a challenge to calm him down and talk to him without an interruption. What do you think we should do Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight then stared into space for a few seconds, thinking much about the plan that Celestia should go with, but had nothing but a blank mind. Twilight then gave a sad type of look, but not really sad at all…look if you hate what I’m trying to explain, don’t complain to me, go complain and send your death threats to the reviewers who complain just about everything in life…those fuckers.

Well, Twilight then said to Celestia, “I don’t know Celestia. I think there is no way around to calming him down. I think we have to harm him or at least knock him out with one of our spells.”

Celestia looked into Twilight eyes, knowing that she would have to harm me or at least knock me out, but also being put on a risky move because if I wasn’t affected by the knock out spell they were going to use, I would have been pissed off and would’ve been going on a killing rampage. I could possibly get a monster kill streak with that badass voiceover from that one game.

Actually, now that I think of it, it sounds really fun to do right now…maybe my friend’s life isn’t worthy of living anymore. Fuck it, I’ll just kill some of the Jews just because I’m too lazy to get up and kill my friends.

By the way, Grammar Nazis, my offer still stands. Perhaps you would like to change your mind. I mean you don’t have to kill them, you can always use them as your personal slaves, you just have to paint them black is all so you can get the real thing.

Also, fair warning, you might also want to look into getting a cotton field…somewhere in the deep south where the Confederate America still exists. Just a fair warning is all, that and you can truly live life and the American dream.

Also I would also recommend in investing in a whip, a very dirty and AIDS infected barnyard to where the Jews can sleep at, and a bible for them to read, even if it is bullshit, they need something to read while they have the iron shackles on their legs and arms.

Man that joke went way too far, but who the fuck cares, I’m in Equestria, so suck it. I mean, I can do whatever I want in this book.
I can even say the N word if I want to and I can get away with it…Nig…(We apologize for this offensively inappropriate joke and we deeply apologize in our white guy souls. We know this is an inconvenience and Hasbro has nothing to do with this whatsoever, and our goal with fan fiction/non-fiction of MLP is to strive for a family friendly tone. We also do realize this life story does have an adult tone to it and not suitable for younger audiences, but Knight has put a gun to our head and threaten us with Asian people. So we hope you forgive us for cruelty language like this and we hope you have a nice day. Please don’t take over the world and make a planet of the black people…and for that matter, please don’t start World War III because of this joke. We apologize for this apology and enjoy the rest of the show.

Man that was amazing to say! I feel so alive right now that I can do it again! I feel like saying that word so many times in front of a fucking Zebra right now!

However, I need to get back to my life story right now, so let us move on before I have an N bomb storm. Well, Celestia was looking as there was no other way but to hurt me, however, she then had that feeling in her once more…like the third time I guess.

Dam that feeling is really screwing around with Celestia’s mind. Maybe it’s Discord, I’m betting he really liked it when Celestia did him and shit, because if you recall with the Lesson Zero episode, she said she had some ‘male’ to get to, along with saying that she had a good use for him.

Perhaps Discord really likes having sex with horny old women now and he has just been lying about it. Why did he have to lie? :(
I’m starting to have a tear in my eye now…because he lied to us. Why Discord why!!!? Well Celestia had that feeling in her and it was telling her to do something. She then said to Twilight with determination in her voice, “I am starting to get that feeling inside of me once again Twilight. Something tells me that I have a solution to our problem here. I am not sure if it will work or not, but I will trust what my heart tells me.”

Celestia then got from out of cover of the rocks, while Twilight followed her with her eyes in anticipation as to what will happen next. You see fancy critics…I used a fancy word…quick….someone call my mom! You love me now mom…well do you!?

Look what I fucking did now mom…and fuck you fucking old skanky whore! I am sorry, that was uncalled for…and a quite unfunny joke. Well, aside from bad taste in jokes, Celestia slowly walked to me, and keep in mind, this entire time I was under that beam of light thing.

If you think about it, it’s kind of funny, because while Celestia and Twilight were discussing a few things, I was still going like a crazy mother fucker…while yelling as well…it’s weird and funny at the same time.

I wonder if I were in pain as well, then it would have been even funnier. Well, Celestia slowly walked up to me, but instead of immediately doing what her guts told her to do, she stared at me, with a worried look in her eyes.

However, I do not recall seeing her eyes, but instead just going like a complete maniac…and she’s maniac, a maniac, oh oh oh oh….I could not resist the urge of Nostalgic memory.

Dam that bitch was a slut when I saw her back on Earth. Well Celestia then slowly raised her front hoof up, and looked at it, wondering if she were to doubt it or not, but she then took a gulp or something like that and slowly put a hoof on my shoulder.

Once her hoof made contact with my shoulder, the beam of light somehow disappeared, and I was not acting crazy anymore and can actually concentrate at my surroundings.

Once the beam of light went away, I hit the ground, but not too hard, because I was only like a few feet in the air, while Wolf was still hiding in the cave, but was glad that I was normal once more.

Well, I then hit the ground and landed on my back, when I saw Celestia’s face. She gave a smile to me, a smile that is so warm and makes you feel like there is nothing wrong in the world.

A smile that you knew that everything was going to be all right in the future and you feel protected by it as well.

It was a smile that everyone always wanted to see…a smile that they always dreamed about having made for them. That was the smile that I got…a Great Gatsby rip off smile that good ol’ Leo did in the movie, except better. However, in all honesty, I did feel warmth and happiness when I saw it, and was happy on the inside.

However, I never gave a smile on the outside, for I was kind of like drifting in and out of concisions, trying to stay awake from that thing that happened to me.

However, while Celestia was looking at me, two things happened within my own mind. A memory of the past came back to me, a memory that I remember and every single detail to it from my past, from a recognizable face.

However, it was not the face from the show back on Earth, but a memory that I keep locked away, that I don’t even want to talk about now. It is quite hard to explain what happened, but in good time, I will be forced to tell the tale of my meeting of another Celestia in my past.

I remember every detail to it, everything, all the events that made my will to fight, my will to live, my will to love anything…gone…but love found its way back into my heart, while I forgot about the fighting and the wars.

Never mind that, but it still gave me a memory that I tried my best to lock up. I try to forget about what happened, as I cry every time I do, and wonder if I could ever go back and face the music.

I wonder if I could ever tell that Celestia the truth of what happened, and if she would ever forgive me. But I keep it locked up deep inside my past, trying to forget, but it seems that it will never leave me be, that it will forever stick to my mind and never let go…kind of what she said to me that one night.

Let us not get into it, or I’m going to shed tears all over the good paper, and you would certainly not want ruined paper…unless you want paper that has my shit on it from the toilet.

See…my sort of comedy is starting to get back and I’m starting to forget whatever I was trying to forget. What was I talking about…that’s right. Well, the second thing that rushed through my mind was sort of like the feeling that she had when she saw the beam of light.

I had a bit of déjà vu as well, except not from my past, but as if I knew her very well like a Russian guy that just came to America and his Russian cousin is waiting for him in a taxi cab and he recognizes him as COUSIN!

Except in Soviet Russia…cousin drives you? Soviet Russia is a giant douche bag with their jokes. Damn those jokes to hell.
Just like the apes who took over the planet. Well, It was like I knew her by everything, but I couldn’t put my finger on it where I met this Celestia at before…but I then started to feel weak.

After a while of thinking that through my mind and seeing that smile on her face, Celestia then asked me a question of, “Sir…are you alright? Are you feeling ok to move on your own?”

I then said in response to her question, but in a low tone of voice, “I feel so weak. I feel…so cold. I can’t…get up….please….help.”
Celestia then had a still bit of a smile on her face…you know what fuck it. I don’t need to put up with this bullshit.

Well, Celestia then used her horn to raise my entire body from the ground and put me on her back, and placed evenly so I would not fall off.

Twilight then walked up to Celestia, to which Celestia then told Twilight, “Twilight, we need to take him back to your place for right now. When we get there, warm up the fireplace so he can get some warmth and if you have any tea to heat up. It looks like he is going to need such comfort if he will to able to answer any of our questions for him.”

Then Twilight asked Celestia, “Are you sure we should do that Celestia? It looks like he needs more then warmth and a hot cup of tea. He looks like he needs a doctor.”

Celestia then responded to Twilight, “Yes, and I certainly agree with your statement Twilight, but what you and I saw and what he can do, I am afraid the doctors are beyond with help for him. His best chance is with us, since he seems to have very powerful magic I am not even sure Alicorns can do…except for one…however, such magic only exists in my dear mother. Besides, it would be almost impossible to duplicate the magic and it is only available for the high role of the universe as god. However, I believe he just has a very incredible set of skills and power for magic. Let us be on our way Twilight.”

They then started to head out to Twilight’s home, while Wolf was still in the cave. However, he finally heard the noise was finished, to which he took a peek out to see what was all the silence about.

Well, what he saw was me being taken away by Celestia and Twilight, and let’s just say he is a bit protective of me, since we’ve grown as a friendship so of course he was pissed off by this sight of me being whisked away by magical ponies of pure bullshit.

Well, it took some time to get to Twilight’s house, as they slowly walked, without saying a single word to each other while doing so. I do wonder though why the fuck they walked instead of running, or at least walking fast since they did say that I needed some form of help from them.

Well, I could not tell you how long it was until I was in the warmth of the library, but I was put onto Celestia’s back. However, I was on my back while on Celestia’s back.

I have to admit, I saw the stars, in fact it was the same stars from that night when I discovered the portal to the outside of the universe. I recognize the constellations, and I have not seen them since that night.

I had a smile on my face…and I had a weird feeling as if I had someone looking out for me, above from the heavens…protecting me and watching my every move, and apparently, he or she is a pervert because they must have seen me take a shower. I mean, they are just asking to get talked to by Chris Hanson…which I will remind you that he will pretty much make you blow your own brains out because of it.

I mean, he sits you down and talk to you…in a very violating way…because that’s Chris Hanson. Anyways, I looked upon the midnight stars as I was carried away from my only friend, as I listened to the music of the night, and felt as if someone was watching me in the heavens.

However, I did not speak a single word, but instead listened to the dead silence…that and the nagging bitch of a mouth that Celestia and Twilight had. I swear to you, you just feel like you want to smother them to end the pain when they nag you to death.
You just want to hold a pillow up their face and listen to their dying screams instead of them talking. You would rather hear your own infinite child puking to death, as he’s being raped by a pedophile, begging for help, and raping your own wife and abuse a dog and cat while listening to a dying giraffe!

I mean it…I really do, you just want to kill them or listen to that…and that’s saying a lot. Anyways, aside from the nagging of death I was receiving through my own fragile ears, like I said I listened to the music of the night, as I looked up at the stars above me so high that I thought I could reach them and touch them with my hoof.

Of course I would have to be very high to think that because…even if that’s what the Grammar Nazis are looking for, even if they are just looking for grammar, I’m pretty sure they’re high too.

Actually, that makes a lot of sense, those critics’ that gives books and other shit or hardcore critics low score are possibly high.
That’s why they use those big and fancy words and say, ‘This book is (Insert big and fancy words on this dotted line) ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… and I despise it. Now good day to you ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………sir.’

Yea, I mean, if you think about it, it is redundant, or whatever that word means…I don’t know, it’s a big and fancy word and I feel like using it, because that’s all big and fancy words do instead of make it good. It makes us feel good about ourselves and that we belong at the New Yorker and went to Harvard when we use them, but as a review, it’s just gets repetitive and annoying. Why am I talking and writing this down instead of my life story.

I blame you critics…I blame you for this…with you and your big and fancy words distracting me.

Well, long story short, know what, I don’t need to say it again. So after looking upon the bright stars of the night with the music of going off in my head, Celestia and Twilight eventually reached the edge of Ponyville, where the small town was silent and not a creature was stirring throughout the town. Then the big ol’ bad Mr. Grinch took all the…wait…wrong story.

Sorry, I was thinking of Dr. Seuss because not too long ago I took a shit, piss, and danced on his grave not too long ago because I was high as shit and I call bullshit on the “The Places You’ll Go” book.

I just call total bullshit on that; you would not go to those place. That is just whore shit because they don’t exist. It may sound stupid and it may be so that I am an idiot, but let this be known…I read Green Eggs and Ham bitch…what you’re going to do now, because you can’t get any better than that son!

You just got burned and you know it! Anyways aside from that, after a little bit of more walking, we eventually reached Twilight’s home, where Twilight entered to start of the fireplace so heat can flow through the main room and the tea of the Everfree Forest can be made without any problem.

Even though that doesn’t make any sense at all, but appears it does to the people who use big and fancy words…and that’s why you suck…so much.

Well, as Celestia was about to go into Twilight’s home, the guards had their spears and other weapons ready to strike me if I were to hurt the princesses, but instead of me noticing it, Celestia gave them that look again and the guards backed off…for now….

Well, Celestia then entered the main door to twilight’s house, which I’m not sure how considering she’s a big girl and the door is retentively small or in size I guess.

I don’t know, get a scientist on it, not me and what the word retentively means because I used it for no odd reason at all. Well, once she entered in the home, she found the fire place to be on and starting to get warmed up, so she went towards the spot and found a nice red velvet pillow for me to sit on…or more like plot myself onto.

By the way, when would Twilight ever have red velvet pillows, I have no idea, but apparently they were there as well, along with two others for Twilight and herself to sit on as they would ask me questions about myself.

Well, after she used her magic to levitate me onto the pillow, she then found a nice warm blanket to cover me up…and to be honest with you…it felt nice.

I felt as if I was being loved for once and felt like a small child at heart and felt all nice and warm inside. I felt like I knew something about this as well as it felt familiar as well, but could not put my hoof on it.

Well, aside from that…thing that I am not sure why I just put it there but apparently, it exists, I then sat there with my eyes half closed or half opened. It is like an unsolved mystery, like which came first, the chicken or the egg, or what is the meaning of life instead of the internet memes.

Well, whatever you may call it, I laid down while having Celestia for some company to have, although didn’t talk though, not even a single word but have an awkward silence in the room.

Well, I waited and eventually the tea was ready and Twilight brought a tray with her levitating it with her magic with three cups. She even had some sugar to go on the side and I also believe some honey as well…which I think or think not is a thing, but I’m not a British person.

Wait… I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend you, Wizards is what I meant to say. Now please don’t start a war at Hogwarts because of that…because all British people are wizards…and that’s a fact of life….just like women are things…because that’s the joke for now.

Well, Twilight put the tray down onto a coffee like table and she asked Celestia, “How many sugar cubes?”

Celestia responded with, “Two please, I prefer less sugar when it comes to tea.”

Twilight then proceeded to put the two cubes of sugar into Celestia’s cup of tea, to which she then magical gave it to her, which Celestia took a sip out of, but of a small sip.

Twilight then eyed me and she asked me a question, but hesitated at first, “Um…Any sugar cubes for you at all?”

I then sat up and eyed her too, but I had somewhat of a look on my face that can’t seem to describe but of a man’s face when he has seen some shit and was broken by it. I then proceeded to say to her, “Um…five sugars would be just as fine if you could.”

Twilight then had a bit of a smirk on her face as she put the five sugar cubes into my cup, while she said to me, “Well then, I bet you like your tea sweet then. Well, at least we got something out of your mouth this entire night then for starters.”

By the way, I don’t usually drink hot tea, but when I do, it’s usually because I’m forced to, for example Celestia. Although I do drink iced tea, but I’m not a wizard so I prefer iced tea then hot tea.

Well, Twilight then magical gave me my cup of tea, which was burning hot as shit in my hooves, but I tried not to make a twitch due to the hot tea burning my fucking hooves off.

I then took a sip, and I’ll admit, it was sweet upon my tip of my tongue, but was still hot as shit.

As my taste buds were burning to death, Celestia then said to me, “Well, I agree that what we got out of him was good for starters. However, I suppose you know we will want some answers out of you; however, we’re going to take it slow and one step at a time. First off, before we begin, I do not want to be impolite and call you a thing, so may I ask what is your name good sir?”

I then paused for moment and took another sip of the hot tea that was once again killing my taste buds.

After I took my sip, which I was about half way through, I then said to Celestia, “My name is Knight if that is what you’re wondering.”

Twilight then had a curious look on her face and then she proceeded to ask, “Is that your full name? Do you not have a last name or is that what you prefer to be called?”

I then looked back at Celestia as she was staring at me and waiting for an answer to come from my mouth. I said to her, “Well, if you want my origins of my name, I suppose I could say a word or two about it. Well, where should I start, or is there a start I should say. Well, to be quite honest with you two, which I’m not going to lie here, especially since you two are the princesses and all. Well, I never knew what my real name was at all. I was pretty much abandoned at birth, not knowing who my real parents were.
They didn’t even leave any note what they left me in at all. They just left me at a side of a trail and that was it. However, from what I can gather, I was saved not too long after I was abandoned. I don’t know who he or she was who took care of me, for while I was growing up, I could never see the true face of who was my guardian. All I saw was a black face, a shadowy face with no description I can give you at all.

In fact I recall being afraid of my guardian during my childhood. I used to try to run away and find an elaborate hiding spot so he or she could not find me. I would then try to pretend I was in a mythical place where I would not have to run from fear.

But of course he or she found me and sometimes I would be punished by he or she, but only to be punished how an average small child would be, so I wasn’t really abused. However, from what I can recall, I never heard he or she’s voice at all, but only the actions of the pony that was my guardian. I was never really given a name at all by the mysterious pony of my childhood, but I also felt sad that I did not have a name. I recall sometimes seeing some children playing around near a town’s park, and I would hear their names be called and I wished too that I had a name, but the shadowy pony never said a word, nor wrote it down or anything.

So, during my teenage years, I eventually had to name myself. A few names went through my head, and eventually one stood by me, because it stood out for me and it meant something to me.

I also found to be very cool of a name to have. So, about roughly ten years ago I suppose perhaps more for I have lost count of time since then, I have been calling myself Knight. If you’re wondering about the shadowy pony and my rest of the child hood with him or her, well, let’s just say that I was forced to leave once I reached an appropriate age level to be on my own and live.

The funny thing is, I sometimes wonder, if I would ever see that pony that took care of me ever again. The true question is, would I be angry at him or her or be wanting to say thank you to him or her. Well, if you wonder such an answer to a question that burns in your mind, the answer is neutral.

I don’t care if I see him or her again, neither was I taught by the pony, nor was I was abused by the pony. I have no right to be angry at the pony, nor right to show my appreciation towards the pony.

However, when I was forced to leave, if you are wondering that is, that I eventually figured things out on my own. Although I will admit, I wished and I still do that I had a family that I grew up with who would have given me love and affection and helped me and give me knowledge of the outside world, instead of me figuring out by myself.

I really could have used the help and knowledge, because I have gotten myself in trouble a few times before as well. Anyways, after a while, I then went off on my own and eventually I made a few friends along the way, and a few enemies. Some enemies are gone for good and won’t come back to try and kill me, but others will never be forgotten.

They will always haunt me and my dreams at night, as they still do for me every night. I do wonder sometimes when they will be back, but I made a lot of mistakes, but it has been somewhat ten years since I’ve seen them and I reckon that they have forgiven for my mistakes that I have done to make them being their wrath upon my poor and lost soul.”

I then put my head up and looked at both Twilight and Celestia. Twilight seemed to be a bit shock, while Celestia was sort of impressed by my story and had a little grin go across her sweet face.

She then said to me, “Well then, it seems we did not have to say much to get a lot out of you now. Well, I suppose that is a good thing for now. I am also surprised and shocked at what a life you have had in the past Knight.”

I then said, “Well…I suppose it is, but I’m pretty sure somepony has a more surprising life then me.”

Twilight then told me, “Do you really think that Knight? I mean, I have never heard of such a life story. I do not believe that any other pony like you could go through with that. In fact, that sounds a bit insane and unbelievable.”

I then said to that bitch of a Twilight…or bitch Twilight, “Well, I assure you that I am not lying to the both of you. It really did happen, even if it does sound unrealistic at times, everything did happen that way. I’m not sure why that it did have to happen that way, but perhaps it was meant for a reason. Maybe it’s just the way it is and that is that.”

Celestia then said to me, “Well…what do you believe why it happen then Knight?”

I then replied back with a pause at first, but then the words that came out of my mouth was, “Well…what I believe is different then what others do. I believe that the universe wanted to screw me over. Not because of what I have done, nor did I pissed it off, but it just likes to watch you fuck up. It just likes to see you in pain and enjoys it, but only because it’s just the way it is. I believe everything else that others believe is bullshit. Why would the universe screw you over for a reason? Couldn’t the universe find another way around it to make it better for you as much as possible?

It’s also bullshit it was meant for nothing. Sure, sometimes it happens where things in life are completely pointless, but at times, there’s a secret behind it, even if it didn’t mean anything, there’s always something behind that went down. So to be quite honest with you, I’m just fucked in life, and sometimes I can either take some good fortune from someone, or live with what I have to fear every day.”

Both of the princesses were silent in the room for a bit, until Twilight said to me, “Well then, I was not expecting you to curse, but I suppose it is alright, for it emphasizes the meaning of your choice of words.”

I then stared at Twilight for a bit…but only because she was using those fancy words and complaining about my foul language. I mean, does it really matter?

I mean, you could always not think about what it means and think about it as just as a curse word and the true actually meaning behind the word itself and you’ll be fine and would be able to hear thousands of F-bombs all day long. I mean, that is how I curse up a storm and it doesn’t bother me one bit.

I mean, I turned out just fine…except with all the weed, crack from time to time, killing, being a badass, and a whole lot of other shit. Anyways, I then responded to her with, “Well, it does help get it off my chest when I do curse, so in a way it’s kind of helpful to curse.”

Twilight then said, “Yes, and I do see your point in the matter, but the profanity is way too much. The language should really be tuned down, especially since the fact that there are sometimes fillies and colts around. It is important that they do not hear that type of language…unless of course they are growing up in a bad family where they are used to such language, then I suppose it should be alright, as long as it is used in moderation and to only emphasize.”

I then said to her, “Well, let’s not get into the whole debate with cursing. I believe that can be left for another time.”

Celestia then said to Twilight, “Yes, I do agree with Knight here. We have more important things to concentrate on for right now then simple debates. Now, Knight, another question that is on both on both our minds is that what were you doing in the Everfree Forest, especially this late at night?”

Twilight also put her comment in with, “Yes, do you not realize that the Everfree Forest is dangerous? You could have gotten hurt, or even worse, killed for that matter.”

I then paused for a few seconds, and then I talked about my answer. I said with just a simple tone, “Well… it’s a long story. To make a long story short, that was my home.”

I then saw Twilight and Celestia’s eyes light up with surprise in them. Celestia then looked a little confused to which she then asked me, “Excuse me, but I believe I did not hear what you said Knight. Did you say that the Everfree Forest was your home?”

I then said with the same tone, “Yeah…you heard right, the forest was my home, for about one year.”

Twilight then asked me, but in sort of a yelling tone but not really, “Your home!? How could the Everfree Forest be your home!? The Forest is dangerous. I do have a friend that does live in the EvreeFree Forest, but that is different! She was used to living in the forest because she knew many things about it! How could a pony like yourself can live in such a home like that!?”

I then told her my response in a calm voice and not in a loud bitch voice like the one she did, “Well, for starters, I’ve always lived in the forest. As I said, when I was taken in by the mysterious pony, he or she lived in the forest. Therefore, I was always used to the dangers of the forest, as well as the mysterious pony.

Second, when I said I made friends over the years, they also taught me how to live with the land. One in particular taught me how to survive in any type of forest, even if it considered to be the most dangerous of them all, I could survive in it. I was taught how to build a fire, quick escapes from animals that try to kill me, to determine what plant is poison and what is not.

I know very much about the forests than any other pony would know about, and I have been since I was a child. However that doesn’t mean I never been in civilization before, I have been from town to town before, but only as a quick stop.

As you can tell if you look upon my ass or flank if you want to call it, it is bare with no mark on it. It’s sad to say that I have no clue what my special talent is, nor do I care to find out. If it comes, it comes, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

Of course, by now you all know that this is merely but a lie that I was telling the two princesses. I mean, let’s get something straight here, I try my very best to keep a low profile about my origins.

I’m pretty sure that they are not ready for such information that there is a portal that leads to other universes, and I am an alien type being to them as well. In fact, I believe chaos may occur, however since these are ponies and not humans, I believe it would be fine to tell them.

It’s because with human nature, it would be chaos, because humans would be too immature to handle this type of stuff.

For the love of god, if you recall back during the swine flu days, all it did was get healthy people scared. It’s because when it comes to human nature, when a certain event occurs, humans never think with logic at first. Only in the end, they think of logic, but by then it is already too late to do anything, in which they see their faults but yet have a heart of stone to never think about it again.
That is one of the many reasons why I just despise the human race, because all they think is greed and stupidity.

It honestly quite disgusts me to the core of my soul. Of course, with how I really did know how to do all of this with the training and shit, Well I have been trained by TK so I know what I’m doing.

I have done this many years, I know how to survive off the land and live with it for many years. I’ve even been trained in the most harsh conditions as possible, so clearly I’m the expert here about this survival shit. I’m even better then Bear Grills, except I don’t drink my own piss.

Unless of course the only thing to drink is RC cola, then I would drink my own piss. Anyways, Celestia then said, “Well then, I am certainly impressed with you Knight. I never thought I would ever see a pony with such skills of survival. The most I have ever seen in a pony is surviving in a minor forest for a few months, but not a year or possibly more.”

Twilight then said to me, “Yes, I am certainly impressed too, especially that you can survive the Everfree Forest for a Year. Even my friends will be amazed when I tell them about you tomorrow morning as well…unless of course you’re uncomfortable with that sort of thing.”

I then said to her, “No, I’m totally cool with you doing that. It’s not like it would change anything for me.”

I then took my last sip of my tea, which had been cooled down by now to a reasonable temperature. I even almost forgot about my cup of tea. Although with Celestia’s and Twilight’s cups, I believe they forgot about theirs as well, but only because they were all caught up with me and my life I was telling them.

Twilight then said, “Well, my friends will love to hear your story whenever they get a chance to meet you. Although I do admit that, I do feel somewhat bad for you Knight. You were never with your real parents, which it is a sad thing, but perhaps it was for the better because maybe they would have abused you instead of treating you fairly. I mean, they did leave you on a path all alone with no one to be cared by, so it does make some sort of sense. I also feel bad for you because you barely socialized with anypony else throughout your years of life. Sure, you made a few friends, along with a few enemies as well, from what you have told us, but you never had a normal life where you just had a simple place to live at and friends to hang out with all the time. I do not think you also fell in love with any mare, well, at least from what I can gather from your experience, am I correct?”

I then replied with, “Well, you are correct, I never fell in love with anypony in my life. Although I do admit, I don’t care at all that I didn’t have a normal simple life. I really don’t care at all, I couldn’t care any less by it.”

In all honesty, I didn’t care and that was not a lie at all. That was really the truth there, and I still don’t care about it.

However, with the love thing, it wasn’t because I hadn’t fell in love, but only because I simply didn’t believe in it. I do not believe in love at all. It is because that I believe love will hurt you. If to say a crush of yours breaks up with you, it will hurt you emotionally.
Sure there’s always plenty fish in the sea, but that doesn’t mean that mark that was left when your bitch broke up with you will be fixed. Besides, I can never fall in love, because I never had the feeling of love within me that tells me that my dick has an erection towards the bitch that I have a crush on.

However, I sort of did have a crush before on earth, but I never asked her out or anything. In fact, I never talked to her, but just stared at her from afar, but never talked to her actually.

However, she eventually left and I was sadden by the fact that I never had a chance to talk to her, but I then started to sort my feelings out and thought for a while.

I then thought perhaps it was a good thing, because it would have not worked out anyways. Then I thought and concluded that I will never fall in love. Sure, what if some chick falls for me, what would happen then?

Well, the answer is simple. Either ignore the bitch, or tell her that you are not interested in her, that or tell her that you do not believe in love. Sure, it means that I am still a virgin, but I do not care.

Jesus was a virgin, and look what he turned out to be…ok that one doesn’t make much sense but still. It does not mean anything. Although it does mean that I beat Steve Carrel’s record by forty nine thousand, nine hundred and fifty-eight (49,958) years of being a virgin.

Also, real quick, I should mention that Twilight eventually has a crush on me later on, just a quick heads up. Although the reason is, before anyone asks, with Equestria Girls and everything, let us just say that the stallion that Twilight liked from that adventure does not exist in this universe. Why you may ask?

Well…it’s just a very long story that is really complicated and will be explained later on, but hey, it is my life story after all, so it really doesn’t matter.

Anyways, Celestia then said to me, “Well, I will admit Knight, that you are one of the most extraordinary ponies I ever met in my entire life. In fact, I think you would be at the top of the list I would say. However, I do realize that it is quite late for you and I can tell you that you are tired within your eyes. So there is one more thin before we end this and you would be on your way. That beam of light that I saw you do…what was that exactly?”

I then stared at the floor. To be honest with you, I did not even know what they’re talking about. It was as if I blacked out and do not even remember it. Although I do remember some of the slightest of things, but I had thought, it was a dream of some sort or of an illusion to my very eyes.

I then sat there, on the pillow, while looking down and wondering what happened to me. Well, Celestia then asked me once more, “Well, what happened to you Knight? What happened that we saw of such amazing power?”

I then started to feel like blacking out and not answering.

However, I then pushed myself and gave her sort of answer. “I…I’m not sure at all. I kind of thought it was just a dream and you just found me in the cave back there and decided to rescue me. Could you…recap what happened?”

Celestia looked like and prepared herself for an explanation to me, but then Twilight gave her a gesture that said, ‘Bitch, you better not do what I’m think you’re doing! You put that hoof down and let me take care of this you bitch…Or I’ll slap you across the face and give you a mean bitch slapping! Is that what you want you fucking whore bitch!?’

Ok, maybe not exactly like that way, let me give you a white translation of the black guy language. ‘Excuse me good sir/lady, but I believe you have done quite enough this fine evening we are delightfully enjoying. I would like to take over for the moment while you rest and drink some iced tea under this dreadful heat.

Now if you do not mind, I feel like raping a bagel with some cream cheese so it would be easier for the rape hole…if you know what I mean. Then after the quite interesting conversation we are having about jimmies and their fancy big words, I shall retire to my room, rest my poor eyes, and have a nice dinner tonight later on. Then we shall invite a black man that goes by the name of Jamie Foxx and Christopher Waltz, to which Samuel L. Jackson tells me that they are only here to take one of my slaves away from me and not for a boxing black guy.

Which may I remind you that is the moralist thing a black person can do because pure horrifying that a black person would do ever such a white person thing. Then we shall bang a hammer on a black chick’s head, get twelve thousand dollars from them, and then be on our merry, little, separate ways…until the black starts a fight just like any other typical black would do.’

Ok then, that might have been a bit descriptive for the white man, but you know how Grammar Nazis and critics are…hardcore, assholes, sometimes dumbasses, sometimes retarded, childish, immature, and just plain douchebags. Although majority of critics are retards and douchebags, but very rarely are they’re ever smart.

I mean, how could you tell if a critic is a retard if you may ask even though you are not? Well, if to say if one would give…point five out of ten on a story that a smart person wrote to which he would go insane and start a war with a website and would get revenge on him.

Then he would slowly hack into the website and give himself a name, that it is only him against the world, to which he would fight back and destroy everything on said site, until he gives an example not to piss him off and….sorry, sorry for getting off track there…just recalling a moment from my past.

God…so many died that day, although I did get revenge on that one critic who gave me a point five out of ten, and did I enjoy that revenge. Besides, revenge solves everything, and it really does solve everything to be honest with you.

Anyways aside from the past, the Asian translation of that gesture that Twilight gave Celestia would also be to Asians, ‘Why is there no math homework!? Give me math now! Why is this not yellow! Why is this not Fluttershy that we speak of!? Why is this not A plus! Screw this bullshit, I go smash and cause an accident with my new fancy American yellow Chevy car….then I go work at dry cleaning business for the wage of cats so I can one day eat them with some Asian sauce to go along the side!’

If you want a German Translation, it would be ‘Killing the Jews and the Holocaust was a lie.’

If you want a critic and Grammar Nazi translation…well that would be pointless because it’s pretty much the German translation…except that there’s Asians as well instead of the lonely Jews.

That and the Muslims apparently. I can see why they want to piss them off with Muhammad all of a sudden…and start World War Three. Then again…who doesn’t want to start World War Three nowadays?

Anyways, I’m just getting sidetracked, the main point is that Twilight made a gesture to tell Celestia that she can handle it. Well, Twilight said to me, “Well, to recap the events that unfolded before us not too long ago, we heard quite the loud, noisy, ear piercing, thunderous, shrill yelling that we heard coming from the Evrefree Forest. I will admit though it was quite rowdy and riotous to me in my opinion. We even heard you speak in a quite aged and elderly mature language of the Royal Cantorlot Voice, which rarely anypony speaks of nowadays. Celestia and I decided to shrug it off as a modest and diminutive coincidence.

However, what we did not anticipate that you were to shoot out a beam of luminosity of pure radiance and illumination. To be quite honest with you Knight, Celestia and I were flabbergasted and staggered by this occurrence or incident that most would put into words.

We have never seen such marvelous capability before in our lives before. Celestia and I made a pact that we would examine the origins of such a likelihood of an occurrence to ever have happened. We took a little trudge through the Everfree Forest to get to the source that turned out to be you of the power that we were seeing before our very eyes.

However, when we say it was you Knight, we did not know what to reflect on or judge anything really. We were ruminate through our very minds, wearisomely to figure out what to do in such a unforeseen or bewildering as kids say these days, of an experience like this for example to ever occur in a lifetime.

Alas, we were about to make a decision or reasonably that is you might say that we were considering to either presume that you were an antagonistic, aggressive, unreceptive, unsympathetic, and unwelcoming rival of Equestria or that of to Celestia herself.
We also came to a termination to our pondering in our thoughts of what to do with you, that we were to impair and wound you, but not too much but enough to dwindle you in your power and diminish your strength.

So that you would have enough vigor to confer and deliberate or consulting you may put it and answer our many queries for we had for you at the time. We were also bearing in mind to take you to an infirmary and have the doctor’s take a gaze at you and see how you were able to pull such mind-boggling enchanted magic charm in the dead of night under Luna’s beautiful midnight moon.
Which may I add that is clear and vivid in the night sky, as her dear sister retreats in her chambers to regain energy that she has lost over her duties as princess of Equestria. However, we then had a uncanny and peculiar sensation she had not felt in many years, in fact not since my friends and I used the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon. Celestia decided to walk up to you and gently put her hoof on your shoulder to appease you, which may I add shocked me that worked.

What happened next is that you then proceeded to plummet to the ground, but Celestia did grasp you before you fell any further to the ground. What I recall next is that you decided not to make a single resonance while we were walking back here, to which we are here where we started our little chat.”

My god…those descriptive and brilliant words that she used. That was so amazing….I want to fucking punch her and slap her across the fucking face that son of a bitch! At the time, after she talked, or while she was talking and all, my mouth dropped to the fall or slack-jawed that is, in amazement, of pure shock what she was saying.

What was going through my mind at the time was ‘My god…could she not make this anymore complicated and complex!? Why the fuck does she need to use these descriptive words all of a fucking sudden!? What a fucking cunt! Could she make it simple, so I won’t have to look hours upon hours in a dictionary that possibly is shitty to look what the word fucking means…then I would end up call a professor in this universe to see what the words mean. That and to help find a word that means the same that I am pissed to a boil right now! Dam it…this was fun a minute ok!

A minute ok I was making some references and that was fun, even if I was making them directly and was obvious, it was still fucking fun as shit because it is quite boring right now, dull, and grey as we speak! Dam it…she’s a fucking bitch! If I ever hear her use those big and fancy words again, I’ll put a bullet through her think and smart and fancy skull of hers until she bleeds and begs for mercy. Whatever happened to those simpler days? You know what…that doesn’t need an explanation. It’s those Grammar Nazis fault…and hardcore critics who complain about stuff…except for the Nostalgia Critic…he’s cool because at least he makes fun of things. That and he jokes around and it is quite fun…even if it is someone’s work, they would get a light out of it.

Now that I wonder that…whatever happened to special K? Does that still exist back on Earth? I have not had Special K in a long ass time now that I recall it. In matter of fact, whatever happened to K Ballard or however you spell that long time forgotten fucker’s name? I haven’t seen Ballard in a long time, I hope he’s dead right now. This is a weird moment in my head right now; I do hope this does not happen again later in the future. Whatever, back to reality and shit like that.’

When Twilight finished, I tried to make a normal look, and not an angry look because I was just pissed off and was about to burst due to her using such language of pure shit and fanciness.

Well, while I was doing that, Celestia was also a bit surprised as well; it also looked like she was having one of those awkward moments with Twilight at the moment. Anyways, Twilight was waiting for a response from me, since it was a recap for I have forgotten and thought I had a blackout during that magical moment in my life of that beam of light.

Well, I then said to her bitch face that I wanted to punch so much, “Well then…I seem to be glad that I now know what happened, with your…‘words’…and I gladly appreciate the fact that you explained it very well…to…me…could we talk about something else for right now?”

Celestia then said to the both of us, “Yes, I do agree with Knight here. We only have so little time and the night will start to age at some point and will be vanquished by the sun in a few hours or so, we must start to end this conversation and get to the last question. Besides, I do need some rest for I had a long day of hard work. Knight, our final question is that, or more likely our final question that would lead to small questions, is that was that a power you posses or of the magic from you used?”

They then both stared at me, waiting for my answer. I honestly had no clue, but I went and took a wicked guess that it was from my horn…and surprisingly I was right because I had a weird feeling coming from my horn. I then said to Celestia and Twilight, “Well…as you could tell, I was having a blackout so I wouldn’t know. However if I had to guess, I would say my horn for I felt like it is most tired and weakened at the point.”

Celestia then took a sip of her tea that had just been cooled down and said to me, “Well, I do see your point, and I would agree with you as well. It seems that if it did come from your horn. I even saw it come from your horn as well as I was walking up to you. I asked you because I need to make sure what I saw was true and not a trick of my old age, even though it does not matter for I am immortal.”

I then had a bit of a curious and confused look on my face, for I did not understand what they meant by that. For fuck’s shake, I know it’s obvious, but cut me some slack, it has been years since I saw any of the show.

I then asked both of them, “What do you mean you had to make sure? I mean it’s just magic, nothing special really to get over about. I mean, it’s just my magic, that’s all. I mean you guys have the most impressive magic there is, for you are Alicorns and princesses of Equestira.”

Then Celesita cut in and pointed out, “Yes, we are Alicorn which we do hold the power for the most powerful magic in the world. However, the titles of princesses are half-true as well. A leader may hold a great power of amazement and skills, but a leader can also hold false truth as well.”

Twilight then put her two cents in…even though the saying is really fucking old and why the fuck am I saying it now?
Well, she then said with, “Knight, if that was simply your horn, then that amazes me! That is the most powerful magic we have ever seen Knight, don’t you understand!? Alicorns are able to only do half as powerful as that, but only when combined! With you, it only took you and you alone to make that even happen! There is something odd and very special about you Knight…something neither we never seen before, nor has anypony has ever seen before in their lives.”

Celestia then cut in again, with, “Yes, I do agree with Twilight, Knight. You hold even more magic then her, mine’s, or my sisters all combined at once. You hold very great potential, and we believe that there is something special about you…although I will admit; this is not the first time I ever saw this magic happen.

I do recall ages ago that I saw this, but I believe my memory is starting to wear down on me and I am afraid that I am forgetting a few things from my childhood. However, I did see this somewhere, but I cannot put my hoof on it, but I am familiar with this magic. However, until the time when I do remember where I have seen this before, I would not like to see magic like this go to waste.”

Celestia then got up while she was talking, went towards the window or one of Twilight’s windows that is and dramatically looked outside into the night sky.

After she was done talking, I was still confused at this point and said, “Wait…what are you talking about Celestia? I am afraid I’m not getting you signal here. Is this a sex thing or acult thing? Because if it’s either of those, I would like to have no part in any of it…unless it’s to kill the zebras, those bastards owe me money.”

Celestia then turned her head around, with a bit of a smirk on her face as if she had great news. However, apparently she didn’t hear what I said about the genocide of the zebras…or the cult thing, and sadly not the sex thing, but for some odd reason I felt like I could go with the sex thing for a bit.

Then again, I did snap myself out of it before the thought continued to grow any lager in my brain. Well, Celestia then said to me, “You have nothing to fear Knight, for I have news for you, even though it just came up. You have nothing to fear of bad news from me, nor Twilight Sparkle. How should I explain this to you? You see, years ago, I made Twilight Sparkle a personal student of mine, during one of the days that was almost over. I recall that day that the sun was setting, and Luna was still on the moon at the time, sadly, but I was on my way back to the castle.

However, Twilight then started to have some sort of magic to which she made spells that I did not know was possible for a young filly like her. I went to see who was responsible, and I was impressed with her, so I made her my personal student, which she did very well compared to my other students in the past.

She eventually did so well that she proven herself that she was ready to become a Princess. However, that was a year ago, and now a year later, I see a unicorn that is not meant to hold much power, holds even greater power then all of the Alicorns in the world combined and can hold so much potential and even making a difference in this world. In other words Knight, I would like to make you a personal student of mine so I could possibly train you and you could possibly even teach me about your magic as well.”

I then said to her, “Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. You’re going to try and train me with my magic that you clearly have no control over and is much powerful than yours. How does that make any sense?”

Celestia then continued to have a smirk on her lips to which she then said to me, “Well, you do have a point. However, that doesn’t mean we cannot guess and try, or perhaps even unlock certain spells that you did not think you could do before. Perhaps it is the same thing as my magic, but all it is that it has a much more powerful affect.

For example, if I would to order a normal unicorn to levitate an object, he would do so by one object. However, if you were to do such a thing, you would hold multiple objects at once without weakening at all.

However, that is only in theory. All we can do is to try our best and see. Besides, I can also learn from you if you could allow it. Besides, even if we do fail on your magic, there is still plenty to learn as my personal student and at the school as well.”

I then went ahead and made a comment, “Really…that‘s just too hard to believe. I mean, that school pretty much only has unicorns in it and it would seem to me that it has something to do with magical sunshine and farts kind of bullshit. I mean, the only other thing is that you’re a racist.

Are you a racist, because if you are I will totally hang out with you and then we can make jokes all day about the black and the Asians and what it would be like if they combined to make an Asian Black Jew. No wait…there’s no Jew in that equation…no wonder Hitler faked the Holocaust.”

Celestia then shut me up and she said to me…still in a happy tone critics…still in a happy tone…no need to get hostile with me you fucking retards.

Well, she said, “Oh, there is much more that goes on within the school grounds then what you have heard. Besides, I would rather have a student have their time fully appreciated and not wasted at a school if they would to only study magic itself. At the school, besides magic of course, you will also be learning the history of Equestria, mathematics, science, language, how to read and write Equestrian, for it is almost a dying language of the ages, and much more.

There are also social events and gatherings, along with clubs of your interest, and if you are into such a thing, there are sports teams you can join as well. You can even take extra classes if you want, for there is art, music, and even sex education just in case if anypony would to be interested in it.”

Keep in mind she said that last part with a smile, which makes me suspicious, even though she said everything else with a smile. However, something tells me either in an alternate universe or some weird fan fic of this there will be where I’m the only one in the sex ed class and Celestia is my teacher.

Then she starts giving me pleasure and we start to do it and fuck around. I don’t know, just a weird feeling that I have. Although to make it clear, it didn’t happen, but something tells me it did happen, which most likely it did, in an alternate universe, or in a fan fic by some guy who has no life.

Well, I then stood there, trying my best to collect all what Celestia had said to me and think about the fuck am I going to do at this point.

Then Celestia continued her talk with me for whom she then said to me, “That is what you will, or would expect I should say, at my school.

Of course, you being my personal student and all, you will have other things to do that not the average student would get to do. For one thing, there is some benefits to it, but just like every benefit, there are some downsides to it.

For one thing, you will have private magic lessons with me, and depending on how busy my day is, it could end up taking place inside the walls of Cantorlot castle. Of course, you will have full access to the castle grounds whenever you would like, although it is mostly because in case if you wanted to see me about something.

Then of course, you will also have your own personal room in the towers. However, there is only one, which used to belong to Twilight, but if you were to choose to be my personal student, I will hand down her room to you.

You will also have full access to the school grounds, well, certain areas of course, along with breaking the school’s curfew time. However, it does not mean you will have the full night to spend on whatever you may want to do.

However, you will get some extra hours to go out and about the school grounds. I am even willingly to let any friends that you make while at the school to join you and you could possibly have some private fun as well.

However, the downsides do exist of course, but not too many to worry about. For one thing, you won’t have too much time to have some free time to yourself, for my sessions are longer than the usual average class would at the school. However, the extra hours do make up for it I suppose.

Another downside, which really isn’t depending on your interests that you will have to come with me on certain events that take place at the castle. The other downsides are rather small and not noticeable, and will only reveal themselves if you were to choose to be my personal student.”

She then stopped talking to which I then sat there and thought about what she said.

I then had a look no my face, that is too hard to explain, and I swear to you grammar Nazis and critics, I will blow your brains out in front your kids if you make a complaint about it, and asked Celestia a quick question, “Well, I heard what you had to say about the school and me being your student, but what if I choose not to join you and the dark side of the force?”

Celesita continued to have a smile on her face, but one that appeared to be slowly fading as if she didn’t like the thought about me leaving. It was as if she wanted me to stay, as if she would be depressed and hang herself if I left.

If I were to leave, she would cry and become a ruthless ruler because of the effect of my leaving, which she would be sad and cry. I don’t know why it would happen, but it looked like that on her smile…which sound ridiculous but apparently it sounds good to the critics.

I will never understand them and their ways of bullshit. Well, Celestia then said, “Oh Knight, do not fear, for I will not…force you to…go.”

I could tell that she was trying to force a smile as she was saying that. As she was not trying to think of a single thought about me saying no to her.

Celestia continued to say, “As I mentioned or said before, I said if you were to be my personal student, so therefore you have a choice in the matter. If you were to say no, you have my word that you will be in no trouble at all and you will be free to go.

However, I would admit, it would be ashamed if you said no, because I would like to understand you magic and why is it so powerful than any of the other Alicorns put together.

However, I am willingly to pay you for a home right here in Ponyville, and perhaps get you a job that you would be most good at as well. We could possibly even discover what your cutie mark is as well while we are at it.

You can even be friends with Twilight if you wish to do such a thing. However, this is if you chose to not go with me and become my personal student. Now then, what is your choice, or do you need some time to think it through?”

I then sat there, wondering what my next move should be. Considering the fact that TF is still alive, and was about to kill me just immediately, it would not have been safe to stay in Ponyville.

Sure, Twilight is there and she is good at magic, but my magic seemed to scare off TF. Besides, I knew he was going to come back one day, but of all the years that I known him, each time he is beaten, he returns even stronger, eventually to a point he would be like a god of some sort.

Therefore, the obvious thing to do is get all the help I can get. First thing first is how to control my newly found magic, and since Celestia didn’t have a clue either, it seems that I was fucked however she did say that she was willingly enough to try and figure out why I have such powerful magic and how I could possibly control it.

It may seem a bad choice to make, but it was my only safe bet to do until TF came back for revenge. I looked up at Celestia, and she had a bit of worried face on, as if she was worried I would not become her personal student.

Of course I felt bad and it also gave a reason o join her, although years later I regret it, but granted I wouldn’t been able to learn my magic I suppose and make new alleys along the way because of her, so in a war, she is an awesome bitch, and a sad bitch. I don’t get it either pal, so don’t ask.

Anyways, I then said my response to Celestia, “Well, after much thought and consideration, I suppose I would want to be your personal student. However, only because, I’ve got to be honest with you, this is the longest conversation I had with anypony that either wasn’t trying to kill me or just trying to help me get out of a sticky situation.”

I then chuckled a bit at that and pretended that I gave a fuck. And god, I wanted to punch myself in the face even harder then Twilight because saying those words about my situation was god awful and I should be killed for such a worthless and lame comment.

It’s like a bad pun, but somehow the ponies enjoys bad puns, so they should go fuck themselves with an iron fist of bullshit with razor blades on top. In fact, that doesn’t sound so bad as a trolling prank.

Although I’m not sure how that would work out. I mean it is a dark idea to do, but then again I am like that. You can obviously tell that by the jokes that I give…that are very dark, but yet…funny as hell.

Anyways, after I said that sticky bullshit, Twilight looked at me funny…like a nineteen twenties person would that is from New York. It is like a noir type based thing where that person would make that weird noise after every sentence.

Like for example, how every Canadian says ‘eh’ as if it was like a question at the end of every sentence they say.

Actually, I’m not sure, but Twilight did give me a funny look, but then had a bit of a smile on her face afterwards. Well I continued to say, “I mean, I did enjoy it, since it was quite peaceful I should say for once in my life. Second, I would like to know as well what my magic is and how to use it correctly. I would like to know more about if I could, because I’ve always wondered how it works and what power it may hold. Finally, being your personal student wouldn’t be bad. I mean for one thing, I will have a roof over my head, I assume that is. I do know for a fact that I shouldn’t assume everything and take everything into consideration, and shouldn’t assume something is going to happen. Although, then again you did say that you were going to give me Twilight’s old room, so it doesn’t really matter, which makes this entirely pointless. Anyways, as I was saying, it would be nice for a change that I would actually have a place to stay instead of living in the woods.”

After I said what I had to say, Celestia no longer looked worried and was saddened that I would refuse her offer. In fact, I could see in her eyes she was happy with the decision I had made.

She then on went to say, “Well, I look forward to mentoring you in the future. However, for right now, or at least until tomorrow that is, you will stay in Ponyville in the mean time. I can ensure you that tomorrow that your room will be ready, along with you class schedule at the school. I would do it now, for I do feel eager to have you as a student, but I must go back and rest my eyes for it is Luna’s time. I do have to raise the sun in a few hours as well, so I should head back to Cantorlot to get some shut eye. I will have everything ready for you and your coming by noon tomorrow. In the mean time, you do need a place to stay for the night.”

Twilight then put her two cents into the conversation and cut Celestia off, that bitch, and she said, “Well, I would not mind if Knight stayed here for the night. I do have a spare bed he can use. I can even show him around town a bit before he leaves, if he wants to that is.”

Celestia then looked at me for my answer, along with Twilight as well as she had a bit of a smile on her face as well. I then said, “Sure that sounds fine with me. I mean, it sure beats sleeping in the cave in the Everfree Forest.”

Celestia and Twilight then had a confident smile upon their faces. Celestia then made a statement, “Well, I would agree with you Knight. I mean, I could see that you were living in a cave that was occupied with a Timber Wolf.”

Twilight cut in into the topic with, “That must be tough when you were sleeping with a Timber Wolf. May I ask how you tried to not make it aggressive and harm you?”

I then had a weird look on my face, and made a weird look in my eyes as well. It’s that look as if you had a big secret that you didn’t want anyone else to hide, but then an awkward moment comes in which someone says something relevant and it turns to be true to your situation.

Well, Twilight saw this look on my face and she asked, “Are you okay Knight? Is everything all right with you? Is there something you are not telling us?”

Well, since she had me figured out, and since I could not leave it out, I decided to come out with it. I said to her, “Well…there is something you should know about the Timber Wolf that was with me in the cave.”

Then a thumping noise came from the door to Twilight’s house. It was a knocking noise, but at the same time, it was more of a thump. We all looked towards the door when the sound was made and we all had a curious face…except for me for I was pretending to do so.

I knew exactly what was at the door, which was Wolf, which meant he tracked Celestia and Twilight down as they took me away from the Forest. Although I’m not sure what took wolf so long to finally do it.

Maybe he was a lazy ass Timber Wolf, that or he had a tough time trying to navigate through the small town. Perhaps he was a pussy and was afraid to go into the room with Alicorns. Then again, I don’t know how the Royal Guards didn’t see a Timber Wolf.

Maybe Wolf was stealthy and hid or something. That or Wolf killed all of them, in which I would say good job to him since he finally became a man or something like that goes with a male Timer Wolf. I mean, everyone knows that you become a man or woman if you kill someone and hide the body. Well, there were no dead Royal Guards, but maybe he did kill them, but they came back to like or are holograms.

What a life mystery. Well, whatever happened and how it happened, a second thump came again. However, this time it was an even louder thump, and it came with twice the force against the wooden door.

After the second thump, Celestia and Twilight started to look worried as if something was going wrong and wasn’t sure what it was at all. Then there were three loud thumps this time, and it the force that was exerted onto the door was furiously hard. It was as if the door was about to come off its hinges and fall to the ground.

In addition, it seems that Wolf is maybe possessed by a demon, because he did the last thumps in a set of three. Now if I recall from The Conjuring, whenever there is in a set of threes, it is either half evil, or mocking that trinity, or some shit like that to the church of Christ or something.

I don’t know, I never really read the bible a lot back on Earth, and my father and mother were hardcore christens. I mean, they constantly listened to christen rock and loved the shit out of the bible and prayed to god and Jesus every day. I mean, they were very religious people, except for me of course because I was trying to figure things out, like why is there many religions and which one is right.

I mean, if you think about it…never mind that, let us not get off track here. Well, as I was saying, it would be mocking the christen religion, or in other words, ‘The Father, The Son, and The Holy spirit.’

That or Wolf was really pissed off and had enough energy for three thumps. That or possessed by a demon!

Well, Celestia had a bit of an annoyed face on and went to check out what was making that noise at the door. She got up from her pillow and walked towards the door, which she then used her magic to open it up.

Also, may I add that she would fit in America, because she used magic to open a door. How lazy can you get. I know she’s a pony, which limits her uses with her hooves, but other ponies can use their hooves, so why not her?

She would be just a fat and lazy American if she were to live in America…just like everyone in America. Well, Celestia opened the door, gently I might add, and a brown blur passed through her legs, which that brown blur was also very lucky to look under Celestia…if you know what I mean of course.

Well, that brown blur, obviously, no shock here, was Wolf. After Wolf passed under Celestia’s legs, he came and went next to me and stood his position in a attack ready position and was ready to fight the Alicorns off, even though his ass would’ve been kicked.
Then again…he might have killed the guards and be possessed by a demon, but still his ass would’ve been kicked. Also, I tapped into Wolf’s memory while he was sleeping one night, and I saw his view when he passed under Celestia’s legs, and my god I wish I didn’t see what my eyes saw.

Then again, that is what every mare’s pussy looks like, a normal pussy but with hair around it. I’m not sure why I was horrified in the first place now. I think I’m making that up now because I recall Wolf didn’t even see what was under Celestia. Now I remember, Wolf looked at a transvestite magazine once.

Which he was horrified by what he saw, as I did too as well. Anyways, when Celestia and Twilight saw Wolf was about to attack them, they had their horns ready and started to fire up…while the Royal Guards did absolutely fucking nothing.

The word ‘fuck’ I used could not even emphasize how somewhat stupid of them it was, but there you go.

However, before Celestia and Twilight got the chance to kill Wolf, I put my hoof on him and used my other hoof, forgot which one though and put it up, which is sort of like a sign that says, ‘Hey…hold up bitches. This is my friend here, so don’t kill him you stupid fucks. What are you, a fucking racist? Well, we New Yorkers are going to show you that you shouldn’t be a racist to a New Yorker. I mean we have the better pizza instead of that awful Chicago deep-dish piece of shit they call pizza. We got the Broadway plays; we have our fancy little accidents. We even have Jon Stewart and his Daily Show, so show some little respect.’

Yeah…you can tell I had many problems with New Yorkers in my past, and it was surly a bloody past I should say. I mean, I recall so much blood and guts; it was the goriest thing you would ever see in your entire life, I guarantee that to you for a fact. Besides, it doesn’t matter what happened to me in the past and my relationship with New Yorkers, the important thing is that the New Yorkers are a bunch of douchebags who are trying to act like New Jersey people and fat Italians.

That’s Right New York, I said it that no one else had the balls to say, so come and get me. No wait…that’s right, I’m in Equestria…and I sort of…burned down the Empire State building and 9/11 memorial as well…and killed all the animals in Central park. That and kind of did ruin your economy and had your mayor smoke crack just like that guy in Taranto I made him do.

That and I did blow up your subway system and accidently might have put John Stewart in a comma, now the Jews are after me because of that. Then again I don’t mind beating the shit out of Adam Sandler, I mean he had it coming when he stopped being funny. That and the Muslims are on my side.

No wait…I pissed them off too because I killed a dog in a Muhammad costume…and killed the real Muhammad, long story, listen this isn’t the point. The point is I pissed a lot of people back on earth and I tend to have a problem with speaking their language, like New Yorker language.

It is like you need a translation book on what they’re saying. Anyways, I put my hoof up to halted Celestia and Twilight from blowing Wolf’s head off. After I did so, Celestia and Twilight saw my position and what it represented to them.

After they understood, they calmly lowered their power from their horns, which the light and glowing shit started to slowly fade.
When they did so, I then said, “It’s ok Celestia and Twilight. He’s not any kind of threat to us.”

Twilight then had widened eyes as to what I just said, while Celestia seemed to have a bit of curiosity in her eyes. Twilight then sort of yelled at me, not really though but it’s like a soft yell, or something you get the picture.

She said, “Knight, are you crazy!? That is a Timber Wolf! He is a danger to all of us and he can harm us! He comes from the Everfree Forest! We have to do something before it attacks us!”

Then Celestia put a hoof on her once shitty student on her back, and she easily gently calmed her down, to which she then said, “Now Twilight, you may be correct, but I believe Knight is right here. This Timber Wolf here is not attacking us; in fact, he seems to be responding to what Knight tells it to do. However, I never seen this in a Timber Wolf before. Would you care to enlighten us Knight as to why he is responding to you and your actions as you tell it what to do?”

I then stared at them for a few seconds, and looked at Wolf. I saw it in his eyes that he just wanted to go back to the cave and make sure I didn’t get hurt in any way.

However, I then looked at Celestia and Twilight to which I said to them, “Well…if you must know, he is my friend.”

I saw Celestia in her eyes as she was intrigued as to what I had just said, while Twilight continued to sort of have a shocked expression on her face as well.

“Well, it’s sort of hard to explain. About a year ago, when I came to the edge of Ponyville, I decided to stay and live in the Everfree Forest for a while, or at least until I could figure what my next moves were. Well…the same night as when you were promoted to an Alicorn, and yes Twilight, I have seen you before, but only because I wanted to know my boundaries and I just happened to stumble upon you becoming an Alicorn.

Well, after I saw you basked in your glory of being transformed into a princess, I found a cave not too far from the edge. I thought it was abandoned, that and I didn’t hear a single noise of any kind to be honest with you. Therefore, I assumed that the cave was empty and it was in need of to be occupied. Well, I sort of made a torch and walked into the cave, sort of trying to get used to my new temporary new home for a while until I could get back on my feet.”

Then Twilight stopped me and asked me a question of, “What do you mean get back on your feet? Did something go wrong before you came here Knight?”

I then remembered what happened as Twilight asked me what happened before. In truth, it did turn out to be bad, and I never really wanted to talk about it.

I mean, I rarely talk about what happened that night; I rarely talk about The Fall.

Anyways, I then said to her for her question, “It’s a long story for another time. As I was saying, I lit a torch on a stick I found, which I then slowly walked into the cave, while levitating the stick. Next thing you know, I saw a pair of glowing green eyes in the darkness. Then came after were a few more pairs. Soon after I figured out the cave was occupied and it turned out to be a family of Timber Wolfs. I also believe that they seemed to have been Lone Timber Wolves, as in they split off from a pack and tried to start a new.”

Celestia and Twilight looked odd at me when I made that statement. I believe none of the ponies never made any scientific research on any of the animals of the Evrefree Forest.

“Well, they then started to attack me of course, and they attacked in a group. Smart I should say, but not smart enough. You see, the animals of the Everfree Forest can be smart and dangerous at times. Any civilized pony would know that it would be suicide to step into that forest.

However, if you were born within the forest, you become the animal, and you know their weaknesses. If you were born in the Evrefree, you would become it. In other words, the animals are smart, but sadly, what they lack are a set of skills, a set of skills that only I have to use at my will.

I attacked the Timber Wolves, and to be honest it was quite easy. It was like nothing to me. However I do know for a fact that the Timber Wolves regroup after they have torn apart and to reform back into their original form. Well, that is why you start a fire and you burn them alive.

I recall when they assembled back together, it took them no more than five seconds to figure out they were on fire. They ran around, begging it to stop, but they ran and slowly burned away into ashes. I then decided to properly bury them into the Earth; for I do believe, even an enemy deserves a proper burial.

Well, after I took care of them, I went into the cave, thinking that was the last of them…for now of course, but I was mistaken. This Timber Wolf here was the only one in the cave that didn’t attack me.

When I saw him, I was ready for a fight, but he didn’t move at all. In fact, he just laid there; by the way, when I found him, he seemed to be lying down as if he was hurt. Well, I saw him, and he looked a bit depressed in my opinion. As I came closer with the torch, he backed up and was sort of whimpering and afraid of death that looked like that was going to come to him any second.

Well, I felt bad for him and I decided to take him in as a friend. Well, I started to treat him right and we became friends actually. In fact, I believe with the Timber Wolves he was living with was abusing him and he seemed to be the lowest ranking in the pack. After a few weeks, we started to bond a friendship and we started to look out for each other.

That’s possibly why he came to the door and looked ready to attack you guys. It’s possibly because he just wanted me to be safe and was worried that you two were hurting me.”

After I said my explanation, Wolf looked up to me and he licked my face as well, even though I didn’t know wood like creatures had tongues…I think. Well, after that, Twilight had a shocked expression, but out of amazement that I could tame a Timber Wolf, while any other pony couldn’t. With Celestia, she had the same expression, but a big smile though.

She said after a few seconds of pure silence, “Well then, it seems to me that I will be even more eager to have you as my personal student. Not only you have incredible magic that is even stronger then m and all of the princesses’ combined, but you seem to communicate good with animals. In matter of fact, you tamed a Timber Wolf to be your friend.”

I then said to Celestia, while looking down at Wolf, along with a sad face on, “Well, yeah, but I don’t know if I will ever see him again.”

Then Twilight asked, “Who you will not see again Knight?”

I then responded, “Wolf, that is what I named his Timber Wolf here. I mean, I know it’s not that creative, but I had to name him something it does sound cool. Anyways, I’m pretty sure Celestia’s school doesn’t allow animals on campus.”

However, Celestia then shocked me with, “Well, not really Knight. Animals are allowed on campus, but rarely does it ever happen, and you do need to get permission first. However if it to say it is a short visit like a friend that goes to the school, animals are allowed. However, it is mostly preferred pets to be on campus, not wild animals. However, in your case when you tamed Wolf here, he is allowed on school grounds. In fact, I would not want to destroy your relationship between him, nor do I want to have your assistant taken away from you.”

I then stared at Celestia and squinted at her and thought, ‘Is that a threat or something? That sounds like a threat to me somehow.

No wait…it isn’t a threat. However, is she really saying that he is my assistant now? Are we really going to have like a Twilight Sparkle thing here? Well, let’s see where this goes and I’ll be the judge of it.’

I then said to Celestia, “Well, thanks Celestia, I appreciate it.”

Celestia then said to me as she was turning around to go out the door, “There is no need to thank me Knight. It is what I do, you are a loyal subject of mine, correct? I mean, even though you have not much interaction with civilization though.”

I then said with a standard tone, “Yeah…right…loyal subject…whatever you say.”

While I was saying that, I was slowly putting down a lead pipe that I had hidden in a bag of mine the entire time. My plans were to beat her to a bloody pulp and kidnap Twilight for ransom so I could have a little money and be king of Equestria.

Let us just say I was really high that night before TF attacked me. I mean I had a lot of smoking weed that was natural, and natural weed isn’t bad, but it has a greater effect on you, and clearly I was high that night.

I would have been drunk as well but of course there was no one to offer me free beers, so weed it was that night.

Well, Celestia then opened the door and went onto the carriage to go back to Cantorlot. She even singled the guards that she was ready to go before getting onto the thing, which is what I should’ve mention before, but hey at least you’re not retards and won’t complain…right?

Oh wait…that’s right…I forgot,…you’re Americans that are being led by Obama, or whoever is the president that I’m pretty sure is doing a horrible job at the time you’re reading this. I mean, I’m pretty sure the education is still shitty I assume back in America.
Well sucks for you because in Equestria, we’re fucking smarter than you, because we have some very smart ponies and shit. Well, she soon left and I was alone with Twilight, while Wolf was beside me.

However, I had a weird feeling as if Twilight was just staring at me. I even turned and looked once Celestia went away and I saw Twilight just looking at me. I then started to have a worried face on and was wondering what she was doing.

However, what I should have been asking was what was going through her head. I mean I could see her as she had opened her mouth just a tiny bit and kind of licked her lips just a slightly bit.

I could even she her gently, and so little that a normal person wouldn’t be able to notice, but I did, that she was moving her hips just a bit, like a thrust motion. I then decided to try to get her out of her trance and I waved my hoof and front of her.

However, it didn’t grab her attention, so I then decided to speak up, “Hello…Twilight…are you ok? Can I ask why you’re standing there and looking at me or are you going to continue to do that the entire night?”

Once I said that, she shook her head a few times to get her out of her own trance, and she looked a bit weird at first, but then she looked normal once more. She then said to me, “Sorry Knight, I was just…um…thinking about…would you like something to drink or eat before you get some rest Knight? I mean, you must be sort of hungry since you have been living in that forest for a long time and have not eaten any real food, am I right?”

I then stood there and thought about my answer for a moment or two; I don’t know which but it was one or two. I mean I never pay any attention to myself and time everything correctly, so why the fuck should I even guess in the first place…perhaps people are that stupid.

Anyways, I thought about my answer for a bit until I said, “Well, yeah, you’re right that I am starving because I’ve been living off of mushrooms this entire time along with some herbs and spices here and there. So yeah, I am somewhat hungry, but I can wait until tomorrow morning for breakfast though. Although I would like a glass of water if you don’t mind.”

Twilight then had a small smile upon her face and she said, “Sure thing Knight, coming right up.”

Twilight then went into the kitchen and went to fix me a glass of water. I then closed the door to the outside world and went back to my pillow and shit. Now, when I thought about my answer for what Twilight had asked not that long ago, I had to think carefully of what I say, because I do need to keep my thing a secret. I do not need my cover blown and they find out about the universes and portals.

I mean from what I have learned from my past experiences is that you need to ease them in, or they’re reminded of how they see reality might be destroyed, or they might end up asking you questions constantly. I also need to mention is that the mushroom thing is a kind of a lie.

I did eat mushroom from the forest, but I also hunted animals as well and harvested a few plants myself. And when I mean by harvesting, I mean by stealing other pony’s crops and shit.

As for the mushroom thing, I did have to make sure they were not poisonous, although that doesn’t matter since I have been living for so long and not aged in a long time I am immune to that kind of stuff.

However, that does not mean there is a negative about eating poison mushrooms. They can still leave a bad taste in your mouth that you thought you were eating Tara’s Strong’s pussy and you have a very bad breath on your mouth that not even mouth wash can help you.

Also, I wasn’t even hungry at all, granted I was still a bit thirsty for about anything, even Tara Strong’s pussy even though it’s god awful, and don’t ask me how I know how it tastes.

I don’t want to even explain that night to you guys. God I will never get that image out of my head. She was just all over the place…oh god I think I’m going to puke up.

Then again, I think I ate some weed, so I’m just going to eat my own puke because I might get high from the weed that didn’t digest yet. Wait…here it comes…

*Knight Pukes up and shallows puke.*

Man that is some good puke right there. I can just taste the weed now. I think I’m starting to get high now. I feel like I have the munchies now. Why is there a giant penguin on my bed now?

Ok aside from the things that I am seeing due to the awesome of weed, I then waited on the pillow for Twilight to come back with the glass of water. However, I had to wait thirty minutes for it because she was doing something in the kitchen.

I mean from what I could see in the back, she had one hoof on or near her crouch while the other on the glass of water. I don’t know what I saw, but whatever she was doing, she was clearly horny and has not been touched by Spike in days.

However, that’s what I thought, until I found out what it was that she was truly clopping to…you don’t want to know…trust me.

Well, later she was finished, she came over to me and magically handed my glass of water, which I then took by magic as well and put the glass to my lips. I then slowly started to drink and it went down my throat pretty easily.

While I was drinking, Twilight just staring at me…again…very weirdly I might add. Well, while she was doing this, Wolf was sleeping on a pillow that sat Celestia previously not too long ago.

I could tell he was tired, not that he was a young Timber Wolf, like how Spike is a young baby dragon. Oh no, Wolf was an adult Timber Wolf, young like in his twenties I guess, but he was still an adult though.

Well, after I drunk my water, Twilight took my glass back to the kitchen.

She then came back and she then asked me, “Well, I suppose we should be getting to bed then? Well, I do have a spare bed in my bedroom you can use. I do not know about Wolf though. I guess he could continue to sleep on that pillow. That and I am afraid of waking him up since I do not know what happens when you wake up a Timber wolf from its deep slumber. Would you know what would happen?”

I then answered her question with, “Well, it really all depends on what Timber Wolf you’re dealing with here. However, that is just a guess because I don’t really know. In other words, your guess is as good as mine.”

Twilight then looked a bit disappointed and looked at Wolf. She then gave a short and quick sigh and she said, “Well then, follow me.”

I then followed Twilight up to her bedroom, where the lights were turned off. I saw Spike was sleeping in his bed, quietly and soundly like a baby…because you know…he’s a baby dragon. What a god awful and horrible pun that I deserve to be shot because of such a terribly made pun.

Well, Twilight quickly got the spare bed out, which was out in a Conner and all, in which she used her decently powerful magic to drag it near her bed. She then placed it near her bed, but kind of far from Spike’s bed though.

She then looked at me once she was done moving the bed and said, “Well, here you go Knight. Hope that this is good enough for you.”

I then responded with, “Relax, this is all I need. I would’ve been fine if you would have given me a couch. In fact, I would’ve been fine with a couch. Moreover, I would’ve been fine with just a tree outside.”

Twilight then had an odd and curious look and asked me, “What do you mean by tree?”

I then explained, “Well, what I used to do instead of sleeping on the floor flat, I would just find a tree and sleep by it.”

Twilight then thought about it and she recalled her memories about Applejack and how she used to do it. Once she remembered, she had a bit of an embarrassing long on her face and a smile at the same time.

She then walked over to her bed, used her magic to grab the covers, and climbed onto the bed. She then said to me, “Oh, and before I forget Knight. If you want to use the restroom, it’s just down there just in case you need it. Well, good night Knight.”

Twilight then giggled a bit because she thought it was funny that she said a homophone. Well let me tell you something, that was not even close to being funny…at all. Well, since I didn’t have any uses for the bathroom…yet, went ahead and got into the bed, pulled the covers over me, and tried to go to sleep.

However, I was unable to, and eventually struggled to close my eyes and go to sleep. I just had a weird and uncomfortable feeling as if something was up. First off in my mind at the time, why was Celestia was worried about me saying no to her offer about the school and being her personal student and shit.

Secondly, why did I feel like I was going through the show, but in a weird way though, like the show is repeating itself, but instead of Twilight, it’s me.

Lastly, what a feeling that I could not shake off me for the life of me was that I had a weird feeling that I have been here before. However, it was in a weird way that I cannot explain in words what I was feeling.

It was just a weird feeling that I was turned over on my back in the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I don’t know why I was doing such a thing, but I just was, but I was doing that while trying to wonder why I was having this weird feeling.

However, I then had to shrug it off because I felt weak and I was in need of good rest. Therefore, I slept through the night, nothing odd in my dreams at all. When I woke up, it was around when Celestia’s sun had just risen up.

I woke up and noticed that Twilight was missing from her bed. However that is possibly because she had royal duties to attend to, so she obviously got up early just like Celestia and Luna to tend to her job.

I even noticed Spike strangely up from his bed as well, which I recall in the show that he never really was a morning dragon either. Why did I have to make that stupid saying anyways?

Well, never mind that, the main point was that Spike was gone and that was unusual. Well, I decided to go check downstairs, which is where they would be most likely be at since it is morning after all.

Well, I slowly got out of bed, yawned, and walked downstairs. When I did, I could smell the sweet scent of apple pancakes. In fact, I recalled not having any pancakes since I was back on Earth.

However I do recall that one thing with Celestia years ago, but I pushed that thought aside and concentrated on the present, or at least that was the past but at the time was the present. I’m confusing you aren’t I?

Well, for that, I am not sorry America, but you do need to get off of your phones and think for once and instead of doing nothing at all. Well, I walked downstairs and saw Spike was still sleeping on one of the pillows, along with Wolf as well.

That would make sense since Spike doesn’t want to wake up early and Wolf is…well a Timber Wolf. Twilight was also fixing some pancakes for the both of us, since she felt like having them and I was a guest. I mean, she always had manners and those manners were to treat a guest properly, even though I wouldn’t give a shit about being treated right.

I’ve been treated worst in the past. I even recall I was beaten to a bloody pulp once as a houseguest, but that’s another story. Although I never recall the thought of having the proper manners of treating a house guest properly in the morning, but that’s just me. That and I haven’t done anything in well mannered in years so that would explain a lot.

Well, Twilight was almost done fixing some of the apple pancakes, until she saw me, which she then lost concentration on the last pancake. She had a smile and an embarrassed look on her face at the same time.

She turned her head around to face me and said, “Oh, I did not hear you Knight coming down the stairs. Well, good morning Knight.”

I then had a neutral expression across my face, in which I said, “Yeah, good morning to you too Twilight,” as I walked towards a table where she had two plates filled with pancake that were stacked on top of each other.

Twilight then went back and turned her attention to the last pancake and she said, “I hope you do not mind that I am fixing pancakes. I thought since you were a houseguest, that and you lived in the Everfree Forest and all; I thought you needed something to eat. I would have gotten something else, but this is all I have for now. I also did not make these, but one of my friends Applejack made them for me. All I am doing is just warming them up on a frying pan if you were curious at all.”

I then said with a continued neutral expression, even though you already knew that, “Well, I suppose it’s fine. I remember I had pancakes once, but that was years ago. Although I’m not the much of a fan for pancakes, I’ll still eat it though.”

I then got close to a stack of pancakes, in which I was kind of hungry for pancakes. I mean I was more for waffles and all, but the smell of apple pancakes made my stomach growl. So I grabbed a fork and knife and started to cut my stack up, while Twilight was finishing her last pancake.

I started to hold the stack down while having the knife cut through the top to the bottom of the stack. Keep in mind the stack is only about five or seven pancakes tall. Well, I did this because I remember this trick that my human dad taught me to do…even though he was a douchebag to me in my opinion. That and he was a fat basturd as well and that he can go fuck himself.
That and my mom was an old skanky bitch that had tits that belonged in a morgue. That’s right, I burned my mom, so that old bitch can suck it in hell while I’m basking in the glory and warmth of Equestria. Well anyways, aside from my old parent problems, which most of the time I forget even existed, I then went ahead and cut the pancakes up into tiny bite sized pieces.

I then proceeded to slowly pour warm and tasty syrup all over the pancakes. It gently went onto the pancakes, and it flowed easily onto the plate as well. I even over did it and made a little puddle of syrup and…oh god I think I can jack off to this all night.
I am laughing so hard on the inside right now at the random joke, but on the outside, I’m sad…for no odd reason.

Well, I then chowed down on those bitches of pancakes, or in other words…just pancakes. Although I wonder how it would be like if there was a pimp kind of pancake and a hoe pancake.

I bet a normal pancake citizen of Batterville would pay a pancake hoe a hundred gallons of syrup to get his pancake dick sucked. Then the chip police bust in and Pringles would save the day.

I just ruined breakfast for you guys…didn’t I? I just ruined with a pancake having a dick, although I guess men would enjoy pancake hoes, since they would have a pussy to eat and since they wouldn’t be able to get any from their wives or girlfriends…or kidnap people they hide in their basement.

I guess a female pancake hoe would also have massive tits as well and they would jiggle around whenever they get cut up…ok maybe I should stop. I’m pretty sure right now hundreds of man are going to fantasy’s about that while eating breakfast and jacking off and Cuming onto the pancakes…then eating it whole.

I guess there is a good thing to it, since I gave teenage boys something to keep their minds on instead of their bitch girlfriends I suppose. Maybe that is a good thing…I deserve a solid gold medal for that good deed. Well, anyways, I then scuffed the entire stack down within five minutes.

There is one thing you should know about me, and that is I am a fast eater. Well, once I finished, I brought my plate to the sink, which was near Twilight. She had just finished fixing her last pancake, which strangely took thirty minutes, so I call bullshit on that.

Then again, she could possibly have been imagining about a pancake having a huge ass dick that’s bigger than yours and clopping to it. That or she was just busy fixing it, but I did get you Twilight clopper fans out there pretty pissed that you were beaten by a pancake. Well, aside from a not so funny thought, when I brought my plate to her, she noticed that I was done.

She had a shocked expression, but then turned into a smile, which she then said, “Well, you were really starving weren’t you?”
I then said, “Well, if you have been living off of mushrooms for the past year, you would be hungry as I am.”

She then had a smile upon her face as she placed the last pancake on her stack. She then said, “Well, just put the plate in the sink. I will wash it later today.”

I then said, “Oh there’s no need for that, I can help clean the plate for you. I mean, I do know some housework that was taught to me in the past.”

It was true; I did know some housework that I could do. Although I kind of am lazy at it. No really, I am lazy when it comes to housework. That’s why I either do it with magic, like using a spell for it or just pay an Illegal Mexican to do it that I kidnaped from Earth. I mean, that’s why god created Mexicans, so they can do our work for us…and not to be actual people to be treated equally.

They aren’t human, they’re slaves and they enjoy doing work they are being forced to do for a penny.

I mean a penny for them is a lot of money. They think they’re a millionaire when they have one and consider themselves to be above the middle class, when they’re really only slightly below the Asians…because you know…Asians consider one dollar a lot of money to them. They can buy a whopping four gumballs.

Anyways, once Twilight heard my offer, she said, “Well then, I do appreciate your help then Knight.”

I then proceeded to go over to the sink and started to rub a sponge constantly on the plate…and that’s all that I did to the plate. I didn’t put soap on it or anything…in fact it was still dirty and had childhood cancer AIDS on it I believe.

As I said, I was lazy, besides I was never taught to do dishes. I mean I never said anything about doing the dishes in the past, but I can do my own laundry though and fold it for sure.

That’s about it that I know how to do housework. Everything else is just a simple magic spell. I’m pretty sure every fat and lazy American person who is reading this book, which is pretty much a hundred percent by now considering the fact that the Muslims and Jews have stopped reading this.

That and the Asians and Mexicans are already started a revolution, but that’s only a guess I assume.

Anyways, as I was pretending that I gave a shit about cleaning the plate, I told Twilight, “Well, I can understand the feel when you’re busy with something, especially in your field of work I assume. I mean, it’s got to be busy, right?”

She then nodded her head towards me as I was cleaning the plate with a dry sponge…in other words spreading the childhood cancer AIDS. “Well, I understand the feeling when you’re so busy with life that you can’t do everything and you wish you could. That you feel a bit helpless and…no one is there for you and you can’t seem to do it anymore. Then someone ends up fucking backstabbing you in the back even after all, they did for you.

Then you end burying them a fucking grave because you fought them and killed them in cold blood…and you leave someone in the dirt to die for fifteen mother fucking years! FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS! And it all happened because someone decided to fuck you over when a plan was starting to come together,” I finished saying.

Twilight had a very surprised reaction to what I just said, and when I finished reliving a memory that I had in my past adventuring days, I said to her, “I’m sorry Twilight….I’m just remembering something that happened to me in my younger days. It’s…a long story, a mistake that I wish had not made, but unfortunately I had no choice but to do so.”

Twilight then turned her face from a shocked expression to a weird ‘what the fuck’ face on and asked me, “Can I ask why you curse so much? I mean, I know that you do it out of anger, but could you instead use a different and more appropriate word then what you use?”

I then responded to her as I pretended to finish up cleaning the plate that was infected with childhood cancer AIDS, “Well, one I can’t stop using it. I mean it is my thing, so sorry. Second, I’m not sure why I use it, I just use it.”

Actually, I do have a reason for using it. First off, if one is to understand why I curse, or anyone for that matter, you need to understand why bad words are bad.

For one thing, the words that you know that are commonly are used that people who have big wigs and people who are strict people that can never have any fun and seem to shit on your entire life, like critics, politicians, critics, Harvard people, critics…critics. Ok, it seems that I have a problem with critics no…ever since that day back on earth…then again I did kill his entire family.

Not because of his review, but because I felt like it. Yeah, I’m sort of random at times, but I’m cool once you get to know me. Anyways, aside from that dark joke that happened years ago, those words had previous meanings to it and weren’t always considered bad. In fact, the word was used in the bible at times.

However the only reason why it’s bad is…I have no fucking clue but I do know for a fact that whatever a word that is unpleasant or disgusting, it’s considered to be a bad word.

Take the meaning of the word ‘fuck’ for a moment. What word means to have sex in the ass or butt of a person…or in other words, anal.

Although it does mean pleasure, it can also mean rape at times, and not everyone likes it of course. That and the concept of a guy putting a dick up a chicks asshole isn’t the best of all ideas at first, but once you get to know it, it’s amazing…even though I never experienced it in my life. So of course, society today thinks it of as a bad word.

The N word…actually that one is self-explainable if you do a little history research. The word ‘Ass’ does mean donkey of course, which also explains why it was used in the biblical days. It is an old word, yes, quite so, but it’s a bad word because whenever we call someone an ass, we call them a donkey.

So really it’s a word that is meant to disgrace someone, to call them a name or they are a piece of shit that should go kill themselves. That or a retard, immature, is just like a donkey I suppose.

Also, the word bad can even be considered to be a bad word, but that’s only because whatever is considered to be unpleasant can be considered to be a bad word. Now, this can also mean in the future, the current bad words we know today, such as ‘ass, shit, crap, fuck, cunt, asshole, dumbass, and the N word’, will be no longer considered to be a bad word. Instead, the words like ‘depressed, mental, aspy, and schizo’ would all be considered to be a bad word in the future due to their meanings.

However, a smart person, whatever his name is, separates bad words into five categories. The first one is abusive, or in other words, to hurt someone. I never really curse because of that.

The other four are emphatic, dysphemism, idiomatic, and cathartic are the other categories. Idiomatic is one of the reasons why I curse, because it means that I am comfortable.

It means that we are all cool; we can curse and no once give a fuck. Cathartic is another reason why I swear, that it means that I do it out of pain. Whenever we stub our toe, or have one of our bones broken, we tend to yell out curse words, mostly fuck or son of a bitch, even if we are mentally or emotionally hurt.

Dysphemism is one more reason why I curse, which means that I talk about something unpleasant, but I let you guys know or whoever reads this that I get it in a respectable way.

For example, as an arrogant professional would do, instead of the word shit, he would use the word defecate. However, if you don’t want to be a snooty person like that one guy who shits on everyone’s life and tells them that they’re not worthy of anything in life, you can just use a curse word to express how unpleasant something was that you experienced. Emphatic is the last reason why I curse, although with abusive, I do that but only on rare occasions I say before anyone starts a flame war…even though it’s a leather bounded book and not the computer…right?

Anyways, the word emphatic means…it means…son of a bitch, ok I sometimes get confused with the definition with this one, but I’m, pretty sure it’s a reason why I swear a lot. So instead of me babbling on something and getting way off track, I’m going to let Vsauce handle this one for yeah. Vsauce!?

That and to give you a more of a detailed I suppose for you critics out there why I fucking curse so much…and why bad words are bad and shouldn’t be taken seriously when I do write it in this awesome book of my life.

I would’ve explained all of this to Twilight, but I’m pretty sure I offended enough Twilight fans out there enough, even though this was years ago but had a strange feeling I was going to write this in a book one day.

Yup, I’m like Pinkie Pie in Equestria Girls where she had a weird feeling that she knew what kind of plot she was in the entire time. Well, aside from not showing how smarter I am then Twilight herself, I went ahead and pretended that I was done cleaning the dishes.

However, I believe later Twilight and Spike…along with every other pony in the town and Equestria I assume got infected by childhood cancer AIDS.

Well, I finished and sat by Twilight as she was eating her breakfast of pancakes stacks. However, we didn’t speak a single word while I was at the table. In fact, it felt awkward that we didn’t say anything to each other and as if we just had sex not too long ago.
It’s as if we were trying to avoid each other’s eye contacts because one of us wasn’t that great in bed and we had horrible, god awful sex and we couldn’t get an orgasm of any kind. Not even if I took my condom off, we still couldn’t cum on each other, even if we tried.

Moreover, for some odd reason, I have a major boner right now…a boner that says to me, ‘jack off Knight…just jack the night away. Just sing the jacking it song and get it over with.’

Well mister dick, I’m here to tell you to go fuck off and die. I don’t care if you are my only sign of man hood, just go fuck off and die with the other virgins out there…just like with Jesus’ dick. Besides, my dick is a weird looking dick when it has an erection, because it looked like a cat playing a trombone…no wait…I just described a woman’s orgasm…..well shit.

Anyways, after Twilight finished her stack of the apple pancakes, she then proceeded to take the plate to the sink.

Afterwards, she then told me, “Don’t worry Knight. I can handle my own plate when I get home later today.”

Then we headed towards to the door that led to the outside and civilized world that the ponies called ‘society.’ You hear that Facebook and Twitter people, did you hear that big and fancy word for you? I hope you did, because that means you actually learned something other than your friends being raped at a party that was filled with cocaine.

Maybe you Facebook and Twitter people should join ‘society’ and get off your phones…and maybe you will do the world a favor that way instead of making America look like a bunch of dead brain idiots that you can only do is get fat and being retards. Then again why do I care, I’m in Equestria, so suck it…but seriously though get a life. I mean, even though I don’t care about you since I’m in a different universe, I still kind of care about your sanity and question it.

I’m just trying to make your world a better place one discouraging remark at a time.

Well, when Twilight and I were about to enter society…hint, hint…I asked Twilight, “May I ask why we are heading outside Twilight?”

Twilight then continued to have a smile on her face and told me, “Well I told my friends that I was going to meet them today at the spa. I may have royal duties, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hang out with my friends Knight…if that is what you were thinking is…sorry if you were not. I just assumed that is why you asked…but it seems that I may have made a mistake that I assumed wrong. You can tag along if you want and I can tell my friends about you and what happened last night.”

I then looked away from that bitch’s face and thought about it. On one hoof I didn’t feel like going to the spa, mostly because it was a spa…and I was a guy…those two things sort of doesn’t go together. On the other hoof, and keep in mind that the word hoof is intentional.

Anyways, as I was saying, on the other hoof, I could meet the rest of the main six. Then again, they can’t know, nor do they know of the show, that I was from another universe. However, I said the word fuck it before I kicked the bucket…I think.

Anyways, I said that and thought why not…or fuck it before I kicked the bucket. Either way, I basically said the word yes. I then told Twilight, “Sure, let me just get Wolf just in case I get picked up for Celestia’s school…I assume that is, even though she said it last night. Well, let me just get Wolf.”

When I turned around to get Wolf, Twilight had a worried face, but I’m sure it was out of that she was worried that the ponies of ‘society’…hint, hint…would not react well to the sight of Wolf being a Timber Wolf and all.

She was right; the ponies were…how do I dare say it? I suppose you could use the word retarded, but that’s going a bit too far because they’re not entirely retarded. They are smart retards you could say.

Yeah…smart retards…let’s go with that one to describe their intelligence. Well, I then walked over to Wolf, and he was still sleeping like a baby and possibly dreaming of something that didn’t relate to anything at all.

Well, I then gently and like a mother with a motherly tone would do, pick him up by his ass and toss him and punch him in his balls.

I then said to him in a kind voice that Fluttershy would use in this situation, “GET THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

Wolf then slowly opened up his eyes and was a bit cranky wince I woke him up and shit, and I told him, “Come on Wolf…Wolf we’re going to the spa and shit. Apparently, Twilight wants us there because she wants to show us off to her friends that seems that if they never saw a Timber Wolf in their life. Now get up off your ass and move it Wolf…I fear that we’re going to have a bad day ahead of us…and it’s going to be a long ass one.”

Wolf then proceeded to follow me towards the door, while I had a smirk on my face while Twilight seemed to be somewhat disgusted how I treated Wolf the way that I acted in front of her and Wolf.

She then decided to ask me, “Do you always have to act that way?”

I then said along with the smirk on my face that continued to sit there, “It’s a guy thing Twilight, you wouldn’t understand.”

Twilight then made a confused look on her face while Wolf passed her. I’m willing to bet that Twilight just realized that I made a sexist joke, but couldn’t figure out if that I did or not.

It was as if she couldn’t tell what was a joke or not, like she was a retard. Well, I’m sorry to say this but…she is kind of a retard when it comes to jokes. I mean she just would read them from a book, that’s for sure, but not on her own with her own brain. She would just suck really hard at making a joke…even if it was a pun…and those are the worst jokes…kind of…but not really though.

I don’t know, I hate puns, but others seem to like them and enjoy them for what they are…even though they never do with everything else, but still.

I guess I just don’t like puns I assume. Well, it was around lunchtime when Twilight and I started to head out. Once we entered ‘Society’…hint hint…we were good for a couple of seconds…until they laid eyes upon Wolf. Once they saw Wolf, well it’s kind of predictable, they all panicked and thought the world was about to end. I don’t know why but I find that funny as hell that they do that.
Well, Twilight saw this
and of course she had to be a buzzkillington, so she found a create that said ‘soap’ on it and climbed atop it’s glorious wooden planks…just like Minecraft…except it was a lot shitty of wood then in the game. Well, she then raised her hoof up into the air and she closed her eyes just as a smart person would do if he or she were to receive an award for best douchebag of the year award…just like every Harvard person or guy who shits on your life.

She then said, “Everypony…may I have your attention please!? I do know what you fear…I do know why you run. You run because you fear that something is here to hurt you all. You all run from a monster from an unknown world and you fear that death is upon your souls. Well I am here to tell you that there is nothing to fear…not even fear itself. You don’t have to fear, as fear is a choice.

We can either ignore it or embrace it, but it is your choice.

Do not fear for this timber Wolf here is not here to harm you at all, but here because of this pony right here. This pony here that goes by the name of Knight lived in the Everfree Forest for a year. For a whole year, he has lived among the animals, even the ones that we fear the most. Knight here has even tamed a Timber Wolf and made him his friend, so there is nothing to fear here. All you need to do is understand the Timber Wolf who is named Wolf, and accept him among your social living structure. Now I bid you all a good day.”

Wow…Twilight is a major buzz kill, because she used those words and the way she used them.

Anyways, once she climbed down from the box, she then asked me a question, which was, “So then…how do you like the way that I talked and made my speech. I’m trying to use a different way to make speeches instead of the traditional way. I thought that since Celestia and Luna have been using the way that they have been talking in, I thought I would spice things up and do something different for once.”

I then stood there in front of Celestia and recalled my time from earth. I remember the fic that I was writing and remembered that I was trying to do something different. I was trying to use a simple way of writing a fan fic instead of the more traditional format.

Well, unfortunately not a lot of people liked change or in other words told me that I was worthless and banned me from a site for all of eternity.

Even though I knew these ponies weren’t like humans at all, I felt like Twilight had to be careful what words she said, so I told her, “Listen…Twilight…your speech was good and all. However, I do have little experience when trying to change something up, and let’s just say not all agree to change…so it’s best to stick with the traditional format of speaking instead of the way that you were. However, I’m sure within time, then you can change things, but it seems that today isn’t today to do that.”

Twilight then nodded her head and agreed to me with my point, while I thought in my head, ‘yeah, that won’t happen in a million years Twilight. You won’t be able to change anything with ponies complaining about shit that is different. Granted it never hurts to try with these ponies since they’re different then humans, but fuck it, I’m not in the mood.’

However, when Twilight turned around, and I swear that I didn’t noticed this, she had all of the ponies of the village all up in her face…just staring at her.

When Twilight saw this, she backed up a bit and was shocked that she saw this happening in front of her eyes.
Then a pony from way back in the crowed said, “How did that pony named Knight lived in the Everfree Forest for a year?”

Then twilight looked worried and turned to me for an answer, while I had widened eyes for I was a bit shy and shocked at this point in time. I then hesitated a bit until I said, “Well…I lived by these words every day. I either die alone or fight to survive…revenge solves everything.”

Everypony seemed to be satisfied by my answer, except for that last line, that looked a little bit confused, but they decided to fuck off and let us live instead of…I don’t know killing us I suppose. I mean they were all together in a group.

Well, as they all walked away and continued to live there merry little lives; Twilight then asked me, “What did you mean by that revenge part Knight?”

I then said to her, “Well…it’s a long story…for another time of course. Let’s just get to the spa and meet your friends instead of standing here ok?”

Then we walked off until we reached the spa. However, the truth about the last line is true. I used it every day when I was in my adventuring days outside of the universe, because it was kind of tough and I did have plenty of enemies to fight at the time.

That and I was actually planning a revenge plan on that critic gave me a bad review score on my hard working and different type of fic by hacking into the site. Then using those lines, as I was the Lone Wolf because no one did care about me…which led to depression and almost blowing my brains out in a dirty motel with a shotgun.

Aside from remembering that depression memory, we then headed to the spa with no more distractions in our way. Once we did, the spa twins greeted us and they led us to the spa room with Twilight’s friends in it.

Although they didn’t react to Wolf, which was a bit strange, but then again, those chicks were weird. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re lesbians…I’m pretty sure of it. You can tell in their eyes that they want each other’s pussy and fuck each other in the ass…even though it’s kind of impossible, but still.

Well, once we entered, the rest of the mane six was having the time of their lives for they were relaxing in the spa. When they noticed Twilight, Applejack said, “Well hello Twilight, how is your…Twilight…there’s a Timber Wolf right behind ya!”

Then Rainbow Dash quickly got up from her chair that she was resting her back on and she had her hooves ready for fight and said, “Where’s the Timber Wolf at? Let me have it so I can teach it not to mess with Ponyville or us.”

Twilight then told Rainbow Dash and the rest of her friends…but mostly Rainbow Dash, “Relax girls…it’s alright. It’s just Wolf. He’s a Timber that has been tamed by Knight here.”

Then Pinkie Pie jumped up from the hot tub and punched on me to say, “A new pony in town! You must be new here because I never seen you around here before. Twilight told me that your name is Knight, Knight’s a good name for a Stallion I guess. My name is Pinkie Pie and I’m going to throw you the best party you will ever have in your life!”

Then Twilight pulled Pinkie off my stomach and she said, “Settle down Pinkie Pie…Knight isn’t going to stay here in Ponyville.”

Then Pinkie Pie started to have a frown form on her face, to which she then asked, “Awe…but why isn’t he staying here? Can I at least give him a cake since he won’t stay here for a while?”

Twilight then had a smile on her face and she then said, “ Well, this is Knight. He is Princess Celestia’s new personal student. We found him last night.”

Rarity then jumped into the conversation in which she then said, “A personal student you say? Why that is a great honor for a pony to have bestowed upon him. You are one lucky pony Knight; I hope you have the best of luck with you in the future, especially being a personal student of Celestia. Oh, and you get to go the big and best events that are held in Cantorlot as well. You even get to go to the Grand Galloping Gala and go to exclusive parties that only the most highest of all that are respected in Cantorlot get to go to. I can see we will be friends and will get along just fine if we ever end up meeting again in the future.”

Rarity continued to have a big smile on her face as I just stood there and wondered, ‘you know bitch, you don’t have to explain to me. I can tell that you like that fancy shit by the sound of your voice. By the way, why isn’t that bitch ain’t British.

She sounds like it, but she isn’t a Wizard. Maybe she got expelled from Hogwarts…that makes so much sense to me. Maybe she said the one who shall not be named.

Well whatever, I’m just waiting until I get picked up for Cantorlot. I know I might not enjoy the fancy shit, since I’m not all for that kind of shit, but fuck it. This is only for the best for the future if I am to face TF, for I am sure he will return with vengeance set in his heart. Why am I thinking like this?’

Anyways, Applejack then asked, “So, can I ask why did this feela here gets to be a personal student over night Twi?”

Twilight then said to her as a response back, “Well, it’s a long story. You see…”

And she gave the explanation or the story you might say of what happened last night. I’m pretty sure you know what happened, and with the mane six’s reaction if you wondered, well, they were surprised is all.

Nothing to special, although Twilight did mention how powerful my magic is, which all the ponies were shocked by that statement. Twilight even made me do a demonstration of my magical ability that a normal unicorn would struggle doing.

Granted, it wasn’t my full potential that I could have used for my magic, but I’m pretty sure no one wanted to burn alive in the place, so it was something simple…like for example, lifting the entire spa building with ease. Now everypony in town got their attention stuck on me, and a crowed formed from around the area…until the Royal Guards flew from the sky while carrying a carriage behind them.

It was a sign of that it was time for me to go, which I wondered why Celestia did not come get me in person but that’s beside that point. I then got onto the carriage, said my goodbyes to Twilight and her friends for now and left to go to Cantorlot to go to a fancy school for people who would shit on your life.

The ride did take a few hours, which was almost wasting the entire day for me, with just a little hours left to enjoy. However, around when Celestia’s sun seemed to about to set, which it was kind of awesome I might add to look at as it went beneath the ground, I was in Cantorlot.

When I had finally reached my destination, Celestia and Luna were there on the school grounds waiting to greet me. When Wolf and I got off, Celestia said to me, “I hope you had a pleasant journey on the way over here I suppose?”

I then replied with, “Yeah…sure…whatever you say you flaming bitch of the sun.”

However, it seemed that Celestia didn’t hear a single word that I said and instead blocked it out and put other words in front of what I said. At the time, I was confused about this as well, but decided to shrug it off.

Well, Celestia and Luna then walked with me to my new room at the school and to show me around a bit. Once I touched the ground, we started to walk, while Luna and Celestia had a smile on their faces, while Wolf and I had a neutral look on our faces.
It was because frankly we didn’t give a fuck about the place, we just wanted to move on with life and have a good time. Although it wasn’t that bad of a tour compared to other students at the school, because they had shit to carry with them along with their bags and shit.

With me, I didn’t have much other then my satchel and my hat. That was about it unless you count Wolf as a carryon bag. I mean, he’s sort of useless, so yeah, I guess you would count him as a carryon bag I suppose.

The first thing that Celestia and Luna walked me into for the tour was the main center area of the school. It was the…I don’t know how to explain it…a part of the school where there is a square in the middle, in which a yard is in place there.

It’s sort of like that, but there was a small river running through the middle, which the river led off into Cantorlot and off to the cliffs and into the giant ass lake that stood in front of Cantorlot. When I got there, there were no students anywhere to be seen, so it was like a ghost town or an abandoned place like a forum of a forgotten website.

And it still has one guy that still uses it and pretends that someone cares about him, which is really just him but using a second account to reply to comments on his first account. Well, Celestia said to me, “This spot of the school is the main spot where the students use their free time to either study or simply talk to their friends. As you can see the small river is also a beautiful addition to the area. This area can also be sued during lunch hours, and it is accessible during when school is not in session.”

I then asked Celestia the first question that would come to mind if anypony else saw what I saw, “Um…yeah…whatever you say you two timing whore, can I ask why no pony is here at the moment? It is still school hours, correct?”

Then Celestia had a bit of an embarrassed face and said, “Excuse me Knight, I forgot to tell you why you see no one at the moment. My apologize, but to answer your question, school hours are still in effect at the moment. Although, the final hours of class for today is almost up, so any minute now students will be crowding this area to relax and study for the rest of the day. Anyways…”

I then cut Celestia off and asked her another question, “Can I also ask if this is the only area that I will be free to do whatever the fuck I want or is this the place where I will be stuck at and if I ever leave the school grounds I’ll be shot. And if I survive the shot, I’ll be shot again by some redneck I assume.”

Celestia then said, with ignoring the last bit about my comment, “Well, there is a park that is private for the school grounds not too far from here. It’s near the back entrance to the school. This is merely the west side of the school that you’re looking at right now at this very moment Knight.”

I then said to myself, “I see…”

I mean, I’m pretty sure there will be a dancing and singing gang with leather jackets that would come out in any moment. Then said group would be call west side story or whatever bullshit there is to call a gang with leather jackets on that’s not mildly racist.
In which said group would start to have a fight with another group that wants to take over and shit like that.

Also, at the time, I said to myself, ‘If this is the west side of the school and I bet there is an interesting side story to it as well, I would hate to see the east side.

I can only imagine how much of a hood it can be with ponies involved with it. I bet the east side of the school is filled with black guy ponies…or zebras for that matter. Some badass zebras that can put lead in me anytime they want to.

That and Herpes I suppose, but herpes are so nineties right now. Anyhow, I suppose the east side wouldn’t be so bad to take a quick visit before I get shot for joining the wrong side in a gang war, even though I just took on step on a certain side of the area.
Hey…what’s that towering peak up there? Maybe I should shut up and ask Celestia.’

I then asked, “Um…Celestia…what exactly is that tower that I see right in front of me that is near the west of the school and seems to be connected with your castle…I think?”

She then saw what I was seeing, which was a towering castle point thing. You know, the thing that you would see a princess in if she were captured by a dragon.

It was white and had that usual roof like shape to it in any typical fairy tale of some sort that is lies to children, but to them it’s real.

However when you tell them it’s fake and just a story, they beat the living shit out of you and they never forgive you. They then end up sending assassin’s after your ass and shit goes down, they call their mother a whore because they were fucked to be born, and complain that Santa Claus isn’t real.

Well, Celestia then had a smile on her face and even raised her hoof to her mouth for some odd reason but still has a charm to it the way it looked. While at the same time, Luna just continued to smile and look up to her big sister Celestia. Well, Celestia then said to me, “Well, that was Twilight’s old dorm room, which now belongs to you since you are my new personal student and all.

The tower seems to be connected to the castle, which it is, but it’s also connected to the school as well, making it the only property connecting both to the castle and school.

About halfway up or down the stairs, there is a small point where a small intersection comes in which leads you to a path that will access the castle. Of course, however, Royal Guards are stationed there, so no one can easily get into the castle itself. You will use that pathway whenever I need you or use it to go back to your room if to say an event has just finished. As for where it starts, it starts from that other area I told you about where you can study or have fun with friends in a small private park area. Anymore questions before we move on?”

I then shook my head because I was still mind boggled by what Celestia had just said to me. I know it doesn’t sound that confusing, but to me it was, besides I smoked weed, even though I never had any cancer or anything from it. Well, Celestia then made a gesture that told us that we were going to move on.

I would talk about what else she showed me in detail, but there’s too many to talk about and most of them were just about the classrooms and shit like that. For example, the north side of the west wing of the school held the Equestrian Language class.

The south side held Science classes, while the west side of the west wing held the magic classes. The east one however were the dorm rooms, and of course were separated by gender.

Then again, it would make sense since it would prevent rape, because that’s what they’re only good for…shitty sexist joke…I know, how’s your day been going so far? Well, the same thing can be said about the west side of the east wing, which was the normal square in the middle bullshit and there held the dorm rooms.

The north side of the east wing held the history classes, while the south side held the health and Sex ED classes…I see what she did there…she’s a clever little bitch she is I tell you. The east side of the east wing also held whatever other classes I didn’t say because they were too many of them, along with the top portions of the front and back of the school as well.

Speaking of the middle, the front held the entrance to the school, the main one that I should say, and with it in the front was an iron statue of that wizard pony that had a white beard.

I forgot his name but he was important. I believe his name was star swirl the horny old man that tried to rape Celestia at one point?

Nope…whatever, I don’t care. Well, it then led to the main office and a great hall I should say that looked over the best and brightest of teacher and students and shit like that and even paper work to try to attend the school.

There was even tours that were being given to those of new students coming in, but I get the fancy one with the princesses, so fuck them up in the asshole, I’m better then them in every way possible and shit. I’m kind of drunk right now sort of…but not really…you can tell can’t you?

Well, it then went from the hallway to the lunchroom, where it leads to both of the outside squares and shit like that I suppose. It also went pass the dorm room and shit like that I guess, while at the same time the main lunchroom had floating candles above us.

I can tell that this school is a bit jealous at Hogwarts, sneaky little bastards. Well, if you were to go around the lunchroom, and when I mean by that, I mean by going up stairs to the top and not to the other classes.

In the middle held a ballroom that was under a dome…makes sense right. However, that was about it, along with being some extra dome rooms but that was kind of like off campus and it is forgotten but it is still there for those who would like to go there, but sadly no one chooses to.

It’s mostly because I’ve heard some ghost stories and along with other creepy tales about those dorm rooms. Some of them are actually fucking scary and will make you not sleep at night, I’ll tell you, while others you can tell are fake and is nothing but a pedophile in the forgotten rooms.

So yeah, that was about it…other than having my room. Well, after Celestia and Luna gave me a tour of the school grounds, they then showed me the way to my room, which was like they said, on that private park like area.

Well, I was on that area and it was decently big, and it felt somewhat nice. There was even a little pond to go and sit by if anyone wanted to kill somepony there.

Well, I went up the spiral staircase and in which my legs were somewhat tired as fuck. However, it wasn’t that bad, for it only took me a minute or two to reach the top.

When I did, I felt a bit of relief in my legs that it was done being used for a bit. When I reached the top, I opened up the door and saw a big ass room…all just for me. I saw the bed that was next to the big ass windows that looked over the school grounds with such a magnificent look to them.

I even saw the big hourglass look alike thing in the center of the room. No sand was falling down from the top, since, but it was on an axis that if it would to be turned upside down, the sand can fall and the time can begin. I even saw a little reflection inside of the hourglass of Nightmare Moon.

Funny, I recall that in the first episode when you could see a reflection of Nightmare Moon in the hour glass. I thought that was just an Easter Egg, but I believe it was in the show.

However, at the time, I couldn’t figure out why the reflection was there. I had thought that it meant something, that it was a mystery to be solved…just like everything that I do. I mean that ball of light was still a mystery to me for what it was at the time. I then turned my head to the left and saw nothing but rows upon books.

There was even a second floor to the room, like what you would see in a barn. You know, the one where there is a ladder to and shit like that, and on the second level there would be hay placed there. That kind of stuff, but it was more of like an area to read and research.
To my right stood a desk with a little lamp, along with one of those boards that you could put a pin in place to hold a piece of paper. That and that was about it to the right. The right side of the room felt lonely then the left side of the room. I actually felt sad for the right sad of the room.

Granted I could put shit there and do shit with it, maybe even put a chair there…The poor right of the room.

I mean, I do generously feel bad for it; it’s just sitting there all lonely and shit. Also, the interior color of the room was just like in the show, well the first episode that is, so if you saw it then you got a good sense of what it was like, just a bit different I suppose. I mean the interior colors were like a purple-ish color, but at the time, same time a bluish color as well.

So, I don’t know, think whatever you want, it’s there to stay. After I saw and went exploring what the place had to offer, I then turned my head towards to Celestia and Luna while Wolf went to his own personally made bed.

Oh, Right, and I forgot to mention that before I came here, Celestia had ordered a pony to make a personal bed for Wolf. I suppose that is why that she had me come here later in the day.

Then again, wolf would’ve been fine without a bed, but she just wanted to be a nice bitch about it. What a bitch, she doesn’t’ act nice towards Wolf, that’s my job. Then again I kind of say shit about him, but he’s my best friend, so yeah.

Any who, I then turned my head towards Celestia and Luna as I said before, and I saw them that they had smiles upon their faces with what I’m willing to bet with glee in their hearts.

Although I hope, it isn’t the show Glee or else I’m going to choke myself to death with a rope that was made out of a rhino’s asshole while sticking my dick in an electrical socket made by retarded apes.

God I can’t tell you how much I hate that show. I blame that show for the world’s problem, where’s Hitler when you need him? No wait…that’s right…he’s dead in hell. Maybe I can resurrect him and…wait…I already did that a long ass time ago. Well, aside from the Jews being afraid of Zombie Hitler on the loose with a Jet pack, because you know…he always loved jet packs.

Anyways, Celestia then said to me with the happiness on her face as the setting sun of her reflected off of it of its orange glow, “Well then, how do you like the place Knight? Does it suit your needs or is there something that you see unfit with the room itself?”

I then stood there, slowly formed a smile upon my face, and then responded with, “No Celestia, this is…an amazing place I’ll admit. It suits my needs very well I should say. I just never had such a grand place like this before in my life. Thank You Celestia…that means a lot to me.”

Celestia then had a smile upon her face but even bigger then before and closed her eyes, as she was glad that she made me happy.

I then went up to her and hugged her, as she put her hoof around my back as well as she said, “I am very glad that you like it Knight.”

However, of course…that…was a lie that I told. In my all-honest opinion, the place was decent…and I’ll admit, never seen anything like it before. Granted I have been outside of the universe before, and back in my old adventuring days, I learned some awesome and neat little tricks.

I could create worlds just from my mind and even fill it with people from my mind as well. It could be whatever I wanted as well. It could be an old desert world in America, on an old route sixty-six highway underneath the stars away from light pollution.

Perhaps a fancy club that you would see during the nineteen forties and would hear big band type of music in it as well. The one where you would see gangsters and governors exchanging phone numbers to one another for future business.

Or a grand palace that you would always have wanted as a child. You could even be in space if you wanted to do so without a space helmet.

However of course with these abilities came great consequences, as do many other things as well. Whatever you imagination can cook up, it was yours, and I have created some grand places in my past before.

So the room that I was given was nothing new to me. However there is one thing that doesn’t suit my needs…what is the one thing that I clearly never gave a fuck about in my life, nor do I act like that way?

Go on…guess…because it really doesn’t connect when you start to see the comparison between the two. It would be the fucking books of that room that fills the walls, that’s what it was ladies and gentleman!

If you have been reading this far into my story of my life, you can tell that you would have been expecting more detailed and appropriate word choice than these types of words.

You might even say it’s lacking in some areas, but really, I’m not that type of guy who does that shit. I don’t just go around and use big and fancy language, I’m that type of guy who just wants to have a good time and enjoy life as much as he can.

I don’t do what normal adults do, which would be pretty much everything that I do. I just don’t do it, nor do I act like I am better then everyone. No I do not good people of Earth, no I do not, so why in the world would I care about books? Seriously, I don’t care, Celestia should just take them away for the love of god. I don’t care about them.

Sure some good stories can be founded if one were to take the time and look between the books and even use them for research and shit like that. However that’s not the type of guy that I am either.

I either cheat or memorize the shit you know. As for projects, I just make something up and lie about it. However, when I was looking around, curious as to what there was to be done with my room, in the conner of my eye I saw how Celestia and Luna looked so happy.

I saw them as if they had done a good deed, and to be honest even though I’m not that type of guy who does shit you would expect me to do…I do have a soft spot sometimes. And I would also have felt bad and had guilt on me forever if I didn’t say the right words, so I made up a lie that I liked the place and was glad that I was there.

I even added a little on top for Celestia to be glad that I was there, made her feel good inside by going up, and hug her as if I were a long lost relative of hers.

Anyways, when we were done hugging each other, she pushed back a little and she said to me, “Well, that is about to show you Knight. You will start you education first thing in the morning, so the rest of the day is yours. You can come down and have dinner with me and Luna if you want to in the Castle tonight.”

I then continued to have a small smile on my face and said to them, “No, I’m fine with tonight. Maybe another time we could do that, but tonight I feel like just getting some rest. Besides, Twilight did lend me some snacks I can have later on if I wanted to. She let me take some sandwiches with me and I put it in my bag.”

Celestia then continued to smile and she then said to me, “Well Knight, I hope you enjoy your stay at the castle. I look forward to meeting you in the morning.”

Both of the princesses then left and closed the door behind them. As they did, I then went through my mind and said to myself, ‘Yeah…Twilight gave me those snacks. Too bad that isn’t true. I just stole them from her while she wasn’t looking. Then again, I’m pretty sure Spike is going to be upset that it’s gone, but he doesn’t know who took them.

Besides, he’s a baby dragon, he shouldn’t be obsessed as shit. Besides, I quickly made a change in Twilight’s mind that if Celestia were to ask about this to her, she would say that she remembered lending me some snacks. Wait…why am I telling this to myself if I already know what I did and why I did it? Then again, I feel like god is watching me right now and wants to know the truth of it. God, if you’re reading my thoughts right now, fuck you then because you are a pervert for reading others minds. That’s right…I told you what’s for…I’m lonely aren’t I?’

I then decided to waste the day that I had left. I didn’t do much as Wolf was sleeping in his bed. I didn’t even decide to look through the books that I was offered with the room.

I just went towards the window and watched as the kids hanged out on the grass. I saw some kids playing Frisbee while others just watching some kid who he thinks he’s deep and shit and playing a guitar. I’m willing to bet that he was playing a song that was about water.

I just have a weird feeling inside me that it was all about H2O and shit like that. Like he’s good at getting the chicks, shit because he’s sensitive and deep, and shit.

Well fuck those douchebags, they can go to hell for all I care. Other than that, there was a few groups just hanging out and talking amongst themselves in a group. I would have gone down and talked to a few of them, told them that I was new there and possibly make some friends, but I was a bit shy at the time.

Then again if they were to bully me because I was new at the school, I would’ve been able to kick their asses because really I’m good at that. Then again, I don’t know how well that would go well with Celestia and Luna, but then again their women, what can they do to hurt me?

I mean, all they’re good at is having boobs so you have something to look at while talking to them. Although they’re ponies so they don’t have that…I suppose their pussy can do, because I’m not that humanoid type of Brony where the breasts are actually there and shit.

Besides, those types of Bronies are just furies that way or however you say their god-forsaken name. Anyways, I was just sitting their letting the day go away. Eventually all the students went to their dorms before their curfew time was up. Once everypony went in, it was about for the time for the moon to come up.

Once that happened, I then slowly walked away from the window and just stood in the middle of the room.

After that, I then started to go cross eyed on myself until I said to myself, “Well this is fucking great! Not only I have to go to school again…but I have to go to fucking school with fucking hippies!!! Mother fucker I thought this was only going to be a short time, but now I can tell that I am going to be stuck here for years to come!

The only fucking reason why I even fucking came here in the first place was to see if I couldn’t have my powers be trained and focused and maybe even learn new abilities…but nope! Apparently, I have to go to school dam it! I’m starting to feel like this is the universes fault right now! I’m so angry right now I can just rip a kitten’s head off and piss in his dead corpse while eating it’s beating black heart while sucking a penguin’s asshole out!”

While I was saying all of that, I was walking around the room, giving gestures to absolute no one but myself that expressed how pissed I was for not realizing this could happen.

Honestly, I thought this would have at least lasted for a year, but it lasted for a few years before I was done with the school. I just didn’t feel like going through school again. I mean I recall my high school days back on earth and I had no fun whatsoever.

I never had a girlfriend, you always saw those stupid ass bitches that complain about life but yet it’s their own faults for doing so. You always hear about them always going on facebook, they had their new fancy phones and shit like that.

I mean, High School was not my place other than just to get an education. As I said, I only had one friend, so I was basically the odd one out of the bunch. I mean when I left Earth I was so glad I left school.

For me it was a nightmare because I never talked to anyone at all. At lunch I would eat by myself, in physical education I would just stand there like a bump on a log because I knew noone wanted to team up with me. So fuck high school and fuck school itself.
However, after I thought about it, I decided to look pass it and look at it as a new world of school. I mean this isn’t human school, so it could be different and since what I have been through, I’m surly I can survive it.

I mean, I did of course that’s how I am to get this out to you and shit, but it was ok I suppose. Nevertheless, the hippie ponies thing is another story…which surprisingly I will talk about now instead of later. Well, they’re fucking hippies what the fuck do you expect. They think that they are deep, it’s all about love and peace and flowers and shit like that.

The only thing they get right is the weed smoking. I mean the weed smoking is the thing to go nowadays. I mean, it’s so good, and it’s not illegal in Equestria. I just love me some good ol’ weed. Of course perhaps I am over reacting that they’re not hippies, but just normal college students that they think they’re deep.

Well they’re hippies that way, because they’re deep. Also, I should mention that there was a small part of the school that Celestia didn’t mention but it exists. It’s only because it didn’t relate to me so that’s why she never said it.

The part she left out is that there is a small building off campus that teaches small colts and fillies about magic, sort of like an elementary and middle school for kids, while this campus is like college or high school.

Well, it’s more like college since there’s dorm rooms and shit, along with a curfew as well. Why am I telling you this part now, because that means the kids are hippy kids. I’m pretty sure, even though I never saw it, but I’m willing to bet that they’re hippies as well. I’m pretty sure of it…don’t judge me.

Well, anyways aside from why I was ranting about school, after I yelled enough, I got so angry my horn started to glow an aurora around it, in which I accidently casted a spell that I had no idea what it was. All it was just a small ball of light that bounced all over the room.

When I saw this, I was shocked and just followed the ball wherever it bounced. It went off the walls and the books, as well as the floor and everything else. It was basically like flubber…except without the annoying Robin Williams and fake CGI 90’s flubber to annoy everyone.

Well, after it bouncing for a few seconds, it then somehow was able to hit Wolf, and keep in mind he was still sleeping. When it hit him, it hit him really hard and the force was strong enough to push him out of the bed. It even woke him up from his little shitty Timber Wolf dream about Timber Wolf shit. When Wolf was hit, he flew back a few feet, but not hitting the wall though. After he flew back, he was on the ground for a few seconds, until he slowly got up.

He then said…and yes, I said the word said, “Awe….why the fuck you have to do that Knight!? You could have at least woke me up before you started to cast magic and shit! I think you fucking broke my back and shit! Mother fucker that hurts like a mother fucker! I was having a nice little dream about raping a pony when all of a sudden you wake me up with a spell of yours! Well at least it didn’t kill me, but I don’t give a fuck. I just want to go back to my dreams of humping an elephant.”

Wolf then slowly walked into his bed while I had shocked eyes that he talked. And the way he talked was that he sounded like Brain Griffin from Family Guy. He really did sound like the dog and all and he really did.

However, instead of being a douchebag, he sounded like an asshole. So you know…that’s some good news right there. After Wolf had walked back to his bed, he went into a curled up position, which is how he usually sleeps, and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

Then after those few seconds were up, he then said to me, “I’m talking aren’t I? You can hear every word that I say and I can hear the words that I say instead of nodding my head up and down like a fucking animal?”

I then said while nodding my head slowly up and down very calmly, “Yup, that sounds like what’s happening now Wolf. That and apparently you mastered the English language in that spell that I somehow casted.”

Wolf then was silent for a few seconds until he said, “This is the most amazing advancement in unicorn magic and we’re calmly not doing anything or acting anything special like a normal pony would.”

I then said as a response to Wolf, “Well we have done things that a normal pony hasn’t even done before so that’s a reason we can go by. That and we kind of don’t give a fuck what really happens. I mean if Equestria were to enter a nuclear war tomorrow, we wouldn’t act any different because we don’t give a fuck…and we just want to have a good time.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Agreed.”

We were then even more silent for a few seconds until Wolf said while having his eyes still closed, “Maybe we should show the princesses of Equestria that I can talk and you made a spell to make it happen. Especially since I am somehow having all knowledge of Equestrian history right in my brain even though I was raised in a forest with a bunch of incest pricks.”

I then stood there, thinking about the incest until I asked, “Sooooooooo…you father did your sister and…”

Then Wolf cut my off and said, “It was a huge orgy and I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe we should go now.”

I then said to Wolf, “Yeah let’s go.”

Then I started to head for the door while Wolf got straight out of his bed quickly and tried to catch up to me…which he did in a way. We then opened the door, went through the spiral staircase, and went through the school grounds.

Until we realized that we could use that little path that Celestia and Luna said we could use, so we headed up to the middle and used the path way, which the guards then permitted us to past through. They even gave directions to where Celestia and Luna were at.

I suppose that Celestia and Luna had told the guards to give me directions to the dining area just in case I changed my mind.

Well, let us just say I have the worse table manners so it would not have happened even if I had changed my mind.

I mean I do have table manners now although that’s a different story, but back then it wasn’t good. Anyways, we were let into the castle like I said and was given directions to get to the dining area of the castle, and we had to take left turns, right down, go down some steps, go through a dungeon.

Then we had to get a key, fight a dragon, help a wizard out and…sorry, let me explain real quick. Apparently all of that stuff that I said is what the castle has but mysteriously no pony knows of its existence.

That and while we were taking the simple directions to get to the dining room, me and Wolf got off track and we went on a whole adventure that involved saving a princess from a dragon, found a treasure chest filled with gold. We fought some goblins and fought the goblin king as well.

We even saw some stop motion animated skeletons and fought a hydra. We even had to fight a freaking Cyclops…and yes…I said freaking for once. Are you happy now mom!?

No wait…you’re burning in hell right now….well that’s what you deserve you bitch tits. Anyways, we even somehow got out of the castle, went into some dark and deep woods, and fought some monsters there as well. That and we also did every Dungeon, dragon game ever does…, and I do mean everything.

Well, after those long and dreaded hours of trying to level up our experience points, but strangely enough we were only gone for a few minutes….go figure I guess….and we finally reached the dining area.

The guards also let us pass without a problem and when we entered the dining room, it was pretty nice I should say for the first time looking at it. There was candles, the rooms decorations seemed fitting for the type of style it was in and the table cloth was white as snow and had plates of silver and gold.

Actually, I have no idea what the plates were made out of, it could’ve been made out of plastic by some Asian kid ponies in another country that only did it for two bits. I mean Celestia and Luna do have the power to do such a thing so maybe that’s what the plates are made out of instead of silver and gold.

Maybe it was diamonds or bronze, no one knows, although I could’ve asked them but I didn’t feel like it.

Anyways, I saw on the table that it was filled with food. It was certainly a feast fit for a king…or a princess…or a queen…or a prince…or a douchebag…or even bitches. Maybe it even was fitting for pancake hos and pancake pimps, you know what…know that I think of it, maybe a pancake’s dick would be a nice big sausage.

You know a Nazi style sausage. Although what would pancake tits would be made out of? Maybe huge slaps of whipped cream that you would see at an IHop or a Denny’s.

That actually makes more sense now that I mention it. Anyways, what filled the table was…anything that a pony would eat…in other words shit that wasn’t meat. I mean these ponies do not eat meat…well I take that back.

Spike eats meat, but only because he’s a dragon, while Pinkie Pie also eats meat but she’s special…she breaks the laws of physics. Not only to mention that she’s pink and maybe even the meaning of life.

Well, other than that I can recall from ponies eat, there is an exception for Pegasus and Alicorns that they do eat fish…except it’s fish from the fucking sky. I wonder how high you would have to see until you see flying fish.

Well it’s not really flying fish but flying fish as in that are in lakes in the clouds. Well apparently Pegasi eat them, along with Alicorn, but Celestia and Luna weren’t eating them, but only because they were too good for lower class food.

Anyways, it was filled with as I said anything that isn’t meat, although for an idea would be like hay, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, sugary treats of delight, gravy, shit like that. There was even some dandelion sandwiches and some soup I suppose.

Although that sandwich thing is that, I made that one up, there wasn’t any of that, but ponies do eat though. But there was no hay, as I said, they want high class type of food but the other shit I wasn’t lying about.

Although I do wonder why the ponies eat a lot of sugar, you would think they would get debates and fat as shit by now, but yet they’re perfectly fine and healthy…as a horse. I’m sorry, but that pun had to be made.

It gave me a threat that if I didn’t make a pun, I would get shot by the pun king. Please send help if you can…no wait…you’re in another universe…and I offended you guys…well fuck you guys. Although seriously though, you would think they would die, but sadly nope. I actually did try to study this and the pony anatomy later in the future, and the best I can come up with in theory, and keep in mind in theory is that these ponies rather need sugar to survive…as in sugary treats, cupcakes, and shit like that. If they don’t get enough they can either get diabetes, fall into a comma, or die even, but only in rare cases.

I’m not entirely sure if it’s correct or not. I tried looking up in medical books about the pony body but yet there’s nothing in it stating that kind of stuff, but yet I found some interesting things that relate to the ponies needing sugar.

So really I can’t tell, but I can say for one thing that they don’t have a level to exceed their sugar, as in they can eat tons of sugar without getting fat or getting diabetes.

So you know…good for them, but that’s basically what was on the table. Oh yeah, we were talking about that. Well, we entered the room and as we were taking in the sights of the room itself because it’s like a tourist attraction or something, we were walking towards Celestia and Luna who were about to have their deserts, because apparently they had finished eating and were going to pick up everything else.

You know, so they don’t waste food and look like a bunch of assholes you know. It’s very good for their image and so no pony tries to start a revolution of some sort.

Well, as we came close to them, they both start to notice us walking towards them, in which Celestia then had a smile on her face and she told me, “Knight, I suppose you changed your mind? Well, you are not too late; there is still plenty of food left. It is a little cold, but still has some warmness to it. You can just pull up a chair and help yourselves; I was just about to have my slice of cake. I rarely get to have it sense I am trying to lose weight so I can only have it once a month.”

Weird, I guess Celestia doesn’t know what the pony body is capable of in this universe, but I don’t blame her. Her job is to be a ruler, a leader to a country and to make fair laws and make sure no one is unhappy, not to be a doctor and to be smart and shit with the pony anatomy.

Well, I then told her, “Yeah that’s not why I’m here Celestia. Granted I am a bit starving so I might take some of those cupcakes to go, along with some fine wine if you don’t mind.”

Celestia then looked at me a bit weird but then said to me, “Well I can see what I can do for you Knight. Now why are you here to see me?”

I then explained to her, “Well, not too long ago, like less than thirty minutes or so, I kind of casted a spell onto Wolf.”

Celestia then asked me, “Well, do you know what spell you casted it on him? Did the spell harm your friend Wolf in any way?”

Then Wolf spoke up and said, “I can fuck talk bitch, there, I said it before any long and dragged out and boring conversation could happen.”

I have to admit, Wolf had a point. We were about to enter a long ass conversation that was going to be boring as shit. Then again, I felt like what Wolf said was a threat to me, but I decided to lower my weapons down and just keep an eye on him.

Wolf always looked suspicious to me. Maybe…..he’s a secret spy of the soviets! No wait, he doesn’t have a funny American Stereotype accident whenever he talks, and he’s not banging a hot Russian blonde chick as well so that makes more sense to me.

Although, I still need to keep an eye on him. Well anyways, once Celestia heard Wolf’s words that came out of his loud ass mouth, Celestia and Luna were…let’s say shocked beyond belief.

As if, learning that a Timber Wolf can talk changed everything for them. As if it changed their views upon the universe and that life itself is a meaningless purpose. As if the world we know doesn’t exist because one Timber Wolf talked that wasn’t suppose to talk.

As if they believe now that the world is coming to an end and will cease to exist! That our life has been nothing but a mere instance in time and space throughout the universe was a waste of time!

That we should abandon all hope and dreams and try to find safety as this universe comes to an end, as if there was an answer that we’ve been asking ourselves everyday like what’s the meaning of life and our answer has been answered and that was because Wolf opened his mouth and talked!

That his words were the answer to everything and all the questions in the universe, and now that we have nothing left to question we are to suffer the mere boredom we endure at this very moment, and we will blow our brains out in front of our little children eyes and make them watch while doing so.

Or………………..maybe I’m looking too deep into this subject. Maybe they were just stunned that Wolf could talk and that was it and the holocaust and abortions never existed.

Well, when Wolf talked, Celestia and Luna had their jaws drop to the floor, as if it was their first time seeing a talking animal and shit like that. Well, Celestia then tried her best to say something but she was surprised that she couldn’t properly form a word and hesitated a bit.

Well, eventually she said to me, “Knight, did your friend Wolf…just talked in front of us?”

I then stared at the two princesses with a neutral expression and said, “Yeah, that’s pretty much how things are right now. That’s pretty much what it looks like what just happened.”

Celestia then slowly formed a smile across her face and she said to me, “Why…Knight…this is the most amazing thing we ever have heard. In the history of magic, or at least I assume it was magic, that we have ever saw a spell that has an effect that made an animal species talk.”

Then Luna joined in and she said, “Yes, I have never seen anything like it before my very eyes. I have seen it however in most of our loyal subject’s dreams, but this is incredible and revolutionary! This could change magic and how we look upon it!”

Celestia then finished off the excitement with her question, “Knight, what spell did you use specifically to make Wolf talk?”

I then hesitated once more and told her, “Well…that’s the thing…I don’t exactly know what spell I used.”

I then saw Luna’s and Celestia’s smiles slowly melt away and turn into frowns, “I mean, I’m not sure at all. All I did was say a few things and I somehow made the spell happen. That and when it did it bounced around the room a bit until it hit wolf, so I have no clue whatsoever how I made the spell work.”

Celestia then sat there in her spot and put a hoof to her chin as she thought about what I said. She eventually said, “Well……from what you have said to us, it sounds like that you have created a new spell, which is obviously what it is at the moment. Unless of course there was a spell that could make this happen and it was unknown to us, however, can you recall the words that you said right before the spell was casted?”

I then saw Luna grab out a piece of paper and a quill so she could be ready to write down the spell and possibly keep it within the archives.

The both of them then waited for my answer; however, there was nothing but silence. I was sure they didn’t want to hear what I said about the students being hippies along with the school being a bunch of douchebags and all.

However I had to say something so I said, “Well…I kind of forgot….but I do remember I said something hippies.” I then stared at them and waited for their reply. However, they looked weird at me until Luna asked, “May we ask what are these hippies you speak of dear Knight?”

I then was about to say something until Wolf cut in and said, “An annoying animal that we found in the Everfree forest that is really annoying to be around and have drumming circles now and then. Now let us never speak of these abominations ever again. In fact, let us never bring up this conversation ever again. Now that we have pretended that we just came, we are going to take this food and wine back to our room and no pony will say a single word.”

As we were all had our eyes on wolf, Wolf then proceeded to take a plate filled with cupcakes, along with putting some bread butter onto the plate as well onto it.

And as he was walking away from me, he then turned his head slightly to me and said as best as he could with his mouth full with the plate, “Knight, grab the wine so we can get drunk tonight. And bring some candles as well, I feel like burning things tonight.”

I understood what Wolf said to me, but since Wolf’s words were rather muffled up, the princesses were confused. Soon, they asked me, “Knight, what did your friend Wolf say to you just now?”

I then said, “Uh…he said that…that he wants me to…”

I then had a blank mind on what to say, so I just ended up quickly taking the wine and candle with my magic and quickly ran for the door. As I was running for the door as no guard tried to stop us, I said to Wolf, “Quick Wolf…Run! Take what you can carry!”

Then we ran like hell out of the castle and went back to our room, as Luna and Celestia sat there pondering in their heads as to what the fuck just happened. Well, we ended back in our room and we had a bit of a feast.

We had some fine wine while we had some bread and nice slippery butter to go along with it. The cupcakes was also quite nice and it filled our stomachs up quite a bit. So much that Wolf was out of it and fell asleep in his bed after we had eaten everything on the plate.

Well, except for Wolf wasting half of the wine because as he said he wanted to get drunk and set things on fire…which we did. Although we got drunk while setting a piece of paper on fire and throwing it to one of the classrooms, which kind of caught on fire, but strangely enough didn’t make the school catch on fire though. It only means that the school is a witch, which means we should burn just like those good ol’ which trials from earth.

I mean, I’ve experienced them before because I kind of went back in time to see it and I enjoyed burning those bitches. It felt so great fun and I wanted to do it again.

Now that I have excuses to burn something, I want to do it even more. Now, aside from that thing we will never speak of again, once Wolf fell asleep, I picked up the plate and wine bottle and put it near the door to the castle on that little intersection, because I didn’t want the plate to be ruined and the princesses to be mad at me.

Besides, there’s no EBay around to sell it on so it’s completely useless to me. After I did that, instead of heading back to my room, I went down into the square like area on the west side of the school.

I walked through the area to get to the middle and I simply went to the little river the flowed through the center. I even went to the little bridge and stopped right in the middle.

I then proceeded to look at the sky and I saw that the stars were out that night and the moon was full and bright as well. I then stared up at the sky and started to think. Of all of the adventures I had in my past, through the space universe and the space dragon, through the dark universe with it’s tar like substance.

Through the depths of the Wolf universe, and of the skies of the dragon universe, as well as the mythical universe as well.

Even when I went through hell and back in stopping TF from erasing me from history and gathering old friends from my memory’s past and fought and evil ruler of the anime universe, or at least the names that I like to call these universes that is. I do have names for these that are more appropriate or scientific, but it’s not fun.

Anyways, I have been through so much, even fighting the United States government and destroying Project Portal, this is where it ends for me, as what I thought at the time.

I mean, I was just supposed to retire in this universe, quit my job and enjoy life as much as I can as I always wanted to do, granted I have been doing so with the universes and all, but a good time where I can get drunk and not worry about the consequences of tomorrow.

Where I can be free and do what I please. However, as I stood there, looking up at the sky and felt like someone was watching over me, I had a feeling that my adventure wasn’t just the beginning, it wasn’t coming to an end, but that of a story that has not reached a climax yet.

But that of a story of a life that has still a long ways to go before it ever ends peacefully. As if there was still more to my life left that, I had to experience, and to be honest with you, that feeling disappointed me, but yet something told me that I was going to be happy because of it, as long as I made the right choice at the right time that is.

However, I stood there, and wondered about those people who hated my stuff I did for the Brony fandom and thought I wasn’t even trying and was nothing.

That I couldn’t amount to anything in life, I then thought, ‘They should look at me now. I’m living the dream mother fuckers. I’m living it, I’m in Equestria and have met Celestia…twice that is although I don’t want to remember those painful memories that I have.

But they don’t know what I’m doing, that they don’t know what I have been doing with my life. One guy online even thought I was trying to improve my stuff and perhaps is thinking that I am just busy with a job perhaps, but they don’t know what I have done, and they never will.

I hope they burn and die. I hope they all rot in the ground one day and die…and I do mean all of the fandom…except for the creator of course, for she has nothing to do with this. Why am I thinking inside my head again? What time is it anyway…I think I need to go to bed for tomorrow morning and shit. Well, judging by the position of the moon, it looks like my curfew is almost up…fuck it….I don’t want to piss off Celestia. I think I already pissed her off with the food thing tonight.’

I then started to head back to my dorm room so I could get some rest. Although, before I headed back, I took three steps towards my dorm room before I stopped.

I couldn’t shake off the feeling that as I felt that someone was watching me, above from the heavens. However instead of having that weird and creepy feeling that a pervert or priest is watching me, and possibly thinking about molesting me in a dirty white van with Michael Jackson in it, I felt that I was safe.

That I was secured and felt like I was also loved. It is that feeling that only once or twice anyone or anypony would feel in life. A feeling of comfort within their heart, as their heart soars and feels like nothing can stop it.

Sort of like a smile that you would see only three times in your life, a smile that you feel comfort and warm. That a smile of a smile that says that everything will be fine and that there is nothing to worry about in life.

To be quite honest with you I felt good about that feeling, for I have not felt that feeling in so long, a feeling that I wished I had felt long ago. It felt like a feeling that I should have gotten as a child during my younger years.

A feeling of comfort as to not worry about the future and everything will be all right and I can just go to sleep without any fears in my mind. A feeling that tells me whenever I had nightmares as a child, someone would be there to tell me it’s ok and to just dream a better dream and they’ll be there when I wake up.

A feeling of hope in my heart that the feeling will forever continue to go on until time stops in its tracks and fades away forever. I felt like I wished I had this feeling as a child, something that my parents could not even give me. Either it was that they never thought about it, they were too busy within their daily lives to do so, or they simply never had the heart due to their human nature.

However, I feel like I am lost, that my soul is forever lost without that feeling inside me, that feeling of being safe and happy for once, where I can truly be happy. I mean, through all of my adventures, in the past, I never felt this feeling before.

Sure, I might have destroyed an enemy of mine from the space universe, or killed an enemy’s son of mine or simply make a prophecy come true that was meant to be in some time. I had never felt any happiness or true happiness that is when I went through those universes…although there is an exception with the other MLP universe I went to, but I try my best to keep it in my past as much as I can.

However, whatever it was, I did hope that feeling would come again to me, especially when I needed it most, where it would give me something that I wouldn’t give up hope. A sign where I wouldn’t give up hope at all.

So I then turned my head towards my room and continued until I hit the staircase. In which I then climbed it to the top and opened the door. I then went towards my bed, while Wolf was sleeping like a baby, even though he’s an adult.

Well, I then slowly climbed into my bed, along with my hat, yes I sleep with my hat on at night. I mean, I love my hat dude, I would never take it off unless I’m either high as shit or I’m drunk as shit.

You just don’t take my hat away from me unless I do it myself or a close friend, or else I’ll go berserk on your ass, and I’m not kidding with that. I will kill you or anyone who touches my hat; you fucking leave my hat alone because it’s awesome. It was also given to me as a gift so yeah.

Anyways, I slowly climbed into my bed, with the cold touch of the sheets touching my coat, as my eyes slowly grew heavy by the second to which eventually I closed my eyes and feel asleep.

So I slept through the night and simply waited until my first day at the school…which the first day of school and my entire experience is another story for another time. No really it is, because what I have to tell is like another book within itself and it will take me sometime to even write it.

So we’re just going to skip it for now and come back to the subject one day, but until then we’re just going to skip to the part of my final night at the school.

So then…the final night at the school. I had just finished going on an adventure, and let me tell you the adventures I had in short terms. The adventures that I had were like the Harry Potter adventures, except it was just Wolf and me since I didn’t have any ‘friends’.
Anyways, I had just finished going on an adventure, which was…I don’t know how to explain but an adventure nonetheless and nothing well else to say about it.

I mean I had a bunch of adventures at the school, like going into the forbidden forest, running shit which led to more serious shit, had a Persona 4 moment, found a hidden secret about the school, killed a dragon even, but this one was just…eh.

Anyways, I had just gotten off this eh adventure and I was tired as fuck. I was all messed up as shit as Wolf and I were tired from this eh adventure so of course we wanted to go to straight to bed. Outside everything was calm since we finished this eh adventure and it was all nice.

The animals out in the forest were sleeping calmly and weren’t making a sound for they were at peace. In fact, it felt like that theme song from Bambi for some odd reason whenever you looked upon the quietness of the forest at the time.

Who knows, maybe there was a deer there to kill and a mother got shot by a black guy pony and shit. Then Bambi would rape a doe and Bambi would go on to become Bamler, where he would be like Hitler except he’s a deer and kills all the Jews, because you know, what universe doesn’t have any Jews?

Anyways, the stars were also out and the moon was full as well, like when isn’t it full? No wait, that’s right, whenever Luna is touching herself, is when the moon isn’t full, because she has a hole in her heart that she can’t seem to fill.

Well, we were tired as fuck and we decided to go to bed and sleep off our wounds and shit like that off, even though that wouldn’t work back on earth but for some odd reason we didn’t care at all what happened.

We just wanted to go to bed was all and look forward to the next day.

Well, after a while, just a little over midnight, Wolf had to get up and go take a piss.

Wolf was in his bed until he woke up and he whispered in my ear, “Hey…Knight…I got to go take a huge piss with my dick. Am I allowed to use the bathroom?”

I then whispered back to him which is something everyone wants to hear from somebody, “I’ll cut you if you dare take a step in that bathroom Wolf.”

Then Wolf then said to me, “Come on, I promise I won’t mess anything up this time around.”

I then said, “That’s what you said the last time. And last time when that happened, a giant mutant crab was made and Civil War happened at the school, in which three hundred thousand ponies died. I even had to convince Celestia that it was a Jew, which she didn’t have any ideas what a Jew was so I blamed it on a retarded rabbit that had nothing to do with anything. In fact, he was innocent and all, and even sometimes tried to help other animals out when in need.

All I did was make him talk and made him say things that convinced her that it was him that started the war with robots and giant mutant crabs. Then strangely enough he got beheaded by a cow later on when they broke into the prison dungeon. I don’t even know where the cow came from or why he hated the rabbit, but I end up getting high and drunk if I do try to think about it. In other words Wolf, go fuck off and die.”

I then turned my head away from Wolf and went back to sleep, in which Wolf got up and went outside to take a piss with his Timber Wolf dick. Well, he went down the steps and went into the square like area, on the west side of the school, in which he found a nice large tree to take a piss on.

So he then went towards it and started to let one out, in which he saw a guard that was standing by, which was also a friend of his. He then said to the guard, “Oh hey Kick, how you’re doing on this fine night of…shit?”

Kick then said, “Well I’m doing fine, how about you?”

Then Wolf said back to him, “Well I’m clearly taking a piss obviously.”

Then there was silence for a while until Wolf said, “You know what, one day you, me, and lick over there have to go out one night and get drunk at a bar.”

Then Kick said, “Well, sure I suppose, but I have a family and all, along with a job I have at night, so it would do so much. Hey Lick Can…can you go out and get drunk one night?”

Then Lick walked over and joined the conversation, in which he said, “Nope, I have night school to go to.”

Then Wolf got pissed off by this and he then said to them both, “Oh come on! Not you too…do I have to kidnap you two again and force you to do shit that are illegal?”

Then Kick said, “Well, maybe, but maybe we should report you to the princess. I mean we did see you start that civil war not too long ago with the giant mutant crab. That and you did turn everypony at the school into a zombie, which we promised not to tell.”

Yeah. That turning everypony into a zombie…is actually is a long and funny story that I am not particular proud of but it’s an interesting one. I almost even killed Celestia and Luna for as well but like I said, long and funny story for another time.

Well after Wolf was reminded of a mistake that we did before, he had a look on his face said he was annoyed by it. Then Kick continued, “So I suggest you don’t ask us to go and get drunk with you, but instead keeping the place normal for a while. We kind of do deserve a break from all of your crap that you’ve been doing lately.”

Then Wolf said as he was finishing up, “Fine then…have it your way then! I’ll just go into the castle and randomly walk around in anger and shit!”

Yeah…that last part I’m not sure why wolf randomly went into the castle, but I think the universe had something to do with it…but I’m not so sure though.

Well, anyways, he was randomly walking through it, and somehow got pass the guards because at the time of night, the guards had orders from the princesses to not have any pony disturb them.

Perhaps Wolf walked right passed them since he is an animals and crawls on all fours. You know, just like a midget, I mean they can get into area fifty-one that way if they did that. Too bad their natural predator is rattlesnakes in the desert.

It would be really great to see some alien pictures from that place but oh well, that’s life. Anyways, Wolf was in a hallway, which just happened to be near the room where Celestia and Luna were holding their conference at the time.

Well Celestia and Luna were in her room, discussing plans.

While that was happening, Wolf was walking back and forth in the hallway, mumbling to himself, “Fucking bullshit…can’t believe they won’t go and get drunk with me at a bar…wasn’t my fault that giant mutant crab destroyed the school…it was that midget’s fault…fucking blackmailing son of a bitches.”

Then as he was quiet for about a few seconds and not cursing up a storm, Wolf overheard Celestia say my name, which got him very interested in what they were talking about.

Celestia and Luna were in the room with the door locked, so Wolf went up quietly towards the door and held his ear up to it and tried his very best to hear what they had to say about me.

When he did so, Luna asked Celestia, “How do you even know that it’s really him? He could be just a pony that acts like that way. I have seen this many of times before in the past, you could be just being mislead dear sister.”

Then Celestia said to her, “I am sure that he is the one. Knight is the one to solve all of this. Knight is the missing piece of the group. Listen to me little sister of mine, ever since that day when he returned to the school, the one that we banished from for all of eternity, I knew it was really him. At first when I saw the signs, I was not sure either Luna. However the more that I saw him, the more that he was tested against his will to fight, he was fitting the last piece of the puzzle that we need.

Ever since that night that he saved the school, I have been sure ever since that he is the one that is left. I have been searching for him for years, and I could only find five out of the six. However, now that I see him, see that he is strong, to see that his will cannot be broken easily, that he can be remain strong and tall no matter what he is tested through, he is the one that we have been searching for all this time. He can beat her when she arrives after tomorrow.”

Then there was silence for a few seconds until Luna asked, “Sister, what if…what if he cannot beat her. What if you are wrong and he fails to save us all from her wrath? What will happen then?”

Then there was some silence until Celestia said, “I do not know what will happen then. We could try with all of our might to beat her, but I am afraid her powers have grown ever since that day I put her there on that moon. However, I do have great confidence in Knight that he can defeat her.

Besides, I have been meaning to do this for him anyways, although I just have not had any time to plan this out for Knight. We can at least both agree that Knight does not have too many friends, which was my original plan was to send him to Ponyville and make friends there just like what Twilight did, as I see he lacks the skill of socializing just like what Twilight had years ago.

So in other words, it will also be good for him, and I do know he will have much fun with them as well, even if he does not succeed in his task. But if we end up defeating her for good, he will still be there for he does need to learn the magic of friendship though.

However, if he does complete his task, then not only will he learn the magic of friendship, but he will be part of the prophecy as well. It would also mean that whenever a major threat comes to Equestria, that not even the Elements of Harmony cannot fight against, at least we will have them as a back up to save us all.

However, I do hope this prophecy is a good one and does not have death at the end of it, for the prophecy is lost and cannot be found. All that I know is from a small piece of paper that the creator of the protection elements left it in his journal before he died.
Unfortunately however, I cannot find the rest of it, but somewhere he found it, but sadly the location of its hiding place died along with him that night. I do wish I had known this was for coming, for then I would have helped him out with creating the elements instead of him wasting his entire life, not talking to anypony else, nor resting until it was complete.

I remember on his deathbed he told me, ‘Equestria is forever safe, as long as he follows his path.’ I do not know what those words mean, nor did I that night as he fell ill to his sickness that he died from long ago.

However, I do believe it has something to do with Knight, and I do hope he does what he needs to do. Anyways, this is the map of the town where Knight will stay at, along with the files of which the ponies Knight will meet.

These ponies are also part of the team as well, and they all seem to be clean so hopefully all will be well in the end. This is also the list to give to Wolf later tomorrow so when Knight goes around to check on these ponies, he will have a list and a place to go at as well.

I should also mention if he does end up ganing enough knowledge and wisdom, he could become an alicorn, a prince of Equestria.”
Then there was a pause until Luna asked something of Celestia, “What is this file what here may I ask sister? I believe I have seen this gentlecolt somewhere before.”

Then Celestia responded with, “Yes…that’s one of the old Cantorlot scientists. He is no longer among the land of the living unfortunately, but I am sure he is in our mother’s heavenly grace and is enjoying the afterlife. His name was Arctic Aurora and was the lead scientists and one of the projects many years ago that is cancelled. Only to take precautions for many lives were taken the last time it was experimented on.

He was doing a project called ‘Project contact.’ He believed and even gave me solid evidence that there existed a world beyond our own that we could not reach by normal means of anything. He said that we could make contact with this other world, in which he was successful in his experiment, but unfortunately it unleashed monsters that killed them all. Thankfully enough he was able to get them to go all back into the portal but he soon died after he did so.”

Then Luan asked, “Well, that’s the thing, I somehow remember him a few nights ago. I even saw him in my chambers before, but he somehow disappeared. I do wonder if I was seeing things that night or it was his ghost. Although he did say to me that one day a pony of a blue coat and mane as black as night with a hat of black coal atop his head will save us all and will be our downfall. Although I do believe I was seeing things that night.”

Celesita then said, “Well, I do suppose you could be seeing things, since when souls move on to the afterlife, they cannot return to the land of the living…unless mother uses a specific spell that only she can use. Although it takes a lot out of her if she does uses it, but I’m sure you just saw something, even if it was just a warning about the future. Now enough talk sister, we must rest and pray tomorrow will be good and that Knight can save us all. It is also time for us to go to bed and rest our weary eyes for once.”

Then Wolf heard the royal sisters coming towards the door, so he hid behind a vase as the two opened the door. They then walked passed them although I’m not sure why Celestia was not going to stay in her own room unless…oh…oh…OH…I see what they were doing.

They were going to get it on…they were going to do it all night long. I see those two lovers were going to try and get it on…or maybe perhaps something more sinister. I don’t really know actually, I’m just looking too deep into these things nowadays.

Maybe they were lesbian inbred that were doing it in Luna’s bed, which strikes me a curious look on my face right now as I’m writing this because I’m wondering what it would be like to see those two get it on all night long. I don’t know but I do wonder…then again I do wonder why Half-Life three was never made, so I guess my curiosity is all over the place.

That and the sinister part, I’ll let that guy who wrote cupcakes handle that part. Unless… be right back.


Ok what I found was that in an alternate universe where it was more sinister would be that Luna and Celestia had a little secret.
You see, this alternate universe contains Luna having a secret room hidden in her room itself, where they have kidnapped many kids from Cantorlot. In which they slowly tortured them, take out their eyeballs and sticks knives in their empty eye sockets just to irritate them. That happened while Celestia sets kids on fire at random and pours gasoline over them as well and makes them eat their parent’s skin and organs as they rape them as well.

Then they do that while having classical music play all over this while they use a lawn mower to cut some of them up, and kill them…and in the end, they hunt and kidnap more children for their blood orgy has they rape the dead bodies. I have to admit…that was an interesting universe that I stumbled upon.

Anyways, what really happened in the real universe was…still I have no fucking clue. They could be doing more paper work for all I care. Well, after Celestia and Luna was not in sight, Wolf went into Celestia’s room, found the map and files to her plans that has to deal with me, grabbed them with his mouth and went back to the room.

However, as he was about to exit Celestia’s room, he said to himself, “I do wonder how none of the guards saw me coming in to this place. I do wonder how they never saw me. Maybe I am a ghost and I died on my way over here? Or maybe…no pony exists at all and they’re just a figment of my imagination...”

Then Wolf had wide eyes and a curious look upon his face. The next thing you know he’s in the dome room on the west side of the school, because apparently the west side is cool and shit.

Well, he goes over to the dorm room where Wolf and I know a pony that is at the school, and slowly arose to the top bunker of the bedroom.
From there Wolf then had a s
illy little look on his face and slapped the pony, in which the pony woke up and he yelled at Wolf, “Ow! Wolf what the fuck did you do that for? I was sleeping and having a good dream about doing a mare and now you ruined it…you fucker!”

Then Wolf asked him very quietly, “Are you a figment of my imagination?”

Then the pony said, “No you fucking dumbass! Get the hell out of my room…now!!”

Then Wolf got the hell out of there and headed straight for our room at the tower place thing. When he did so, he climbed the stairs and he opened the doors. Once he did that, he then ran straight to me, and woke me up.

He did so by shaking me until I said, “I thought I told you to go fuck off and die Wolf. How come you haven’t fucked off and die yet? You released an army of mutant Elvis Presley’s?”

Then Wolf said to me, “No, although I was planning on to as an April Fools joke for the school but that’s not important right now. As I was on my way back to come over here from after taking my piss, I overheard Celestia and Luna planning something for you.

They say that they will send you to a town and try to make friends. I have the map of the town and the files they have they expect you to meet tomorrow. And I also slapped one of our friends so yeah…he’s mighty pissed off tonight…Knight…you see what I did there Knight?”

I then got up and I told Wolf, “Typical Wolf. Give me those papers.”

Then Wolf did, although it was rather crumbled from being in Wolf’s mouth but still in fine condition. I then used my horn and had a light come on from the tip of my horn so I could read the papers that I was given.

After I scanned through the files and shit, I then said to Wolf, “Well shit then…my suspicions are true then…history is repeating itself…but instead for Twilight it’s for me. Well then, I’ll worry about this tomorrow…now go fuck off and die Wolf.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Go fuck off and die to you too buddy.”

Then he got into his bed and we slept through the night…except for me that night.

I actually wanted him to go fuck off and die and sadly, he didn’t. Anyways, that seems to be a good stopping point for right now.

Next Time:
Knight: I have spent a few good long years at Celestia’s school, especially when I was her personal student. However, I am ordered by her to go out and make friends in a town called Stalia, which I meet, by there is a reason why I do meet them.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun

Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun/Episode 3.5: The Elements of Protection

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“We have fewer friends than we imagine, but more than we know.”
~Hugo von Hofmannsthal

“In the misfortune of our best friends, we always find something which is not displeasing to us.”
~Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Celestia’s sun rose through Cantorlot, as Luna’s night was slowly fading away in the distance. Everyone in Cantorlot was waking up to go to work or school and such and….well this is sort of a stupid way to start things off isn’t it? Well, I should possibly begin in a better way…welcome to my next chapter in my sad, pathetic, shitty life, now take a seat and go fuck yourself. That’s a great introduction now isn’t it?

Now, where were we? Oh yeah…that’s right now, Wolf was messing around and he woke me up from my slumber to tell me about Celestia and Luna’s plans for me and such…along with Wolf being a dick, planning to unleash an army of zombie Elvis Presley’s upon the school for an April Fool’s day joke, and of course, slapping one of our friends at the school. Well, that was last night, well at the time it was.

It’s the future for me and such, but you get the idea. Days of future past and what not. And then end up wiping everything that was made in the past, so the future is no longer the future, which makes it the present, but at the same time it’s the past, but it’s the future. Wrap your mind around that one people…or fellas, but then again if your mind was blown away by that, chances are you’re already dead because you were so blown away by what I had said, that you took a shot gun and blew your brains out because it was simply too amazing to handle.

I mean that’s what I would do if I was blown away like that, just take a gun and blow my own brains out because the thing that I said blew my brain away…or that it was too confusing and it was hurting my brain, so I end the suffering by putting an end to it all. It’s just logic. Like, a good 9/11 and a bad 9/11.

Or the good holocaust and the bad holocaust. Because…the good holocaust…did something…that was good…hence the name…the good holocaust. And the good holocaust is in…the movie….The Little Nazi that Could…..yeah it makes sense…it’s logic. And Leonard Nimoy would be so proud if he was still alive…then again he did play a Vulcan in Star Trek, so obviously Vulcan equals to illegal Mexican, so you really don’t trust them other than your yard work. Like I said logic.

Then again what is logic? I mean, logic is only what you think is logical. There is nothing saying that the universe made logic. And it can also depend on how smart you are too, so logic…is made up…and non-existent since it is made up…and three hundred people blew their own brains out right now with a double barreled shotgun because their minds were blown away by what I had just said about logic.

And in the end, this brings me back to Days of future past…and a loop type thingy…and we come full circle…somehow…because…you never really blew your brains out…because Huge Jackman goes into the past and then wipes out the future…which is really the past…but then again it’s really the present. So in the end…the lesson here to learn is….

I have no fucking clue whatsoever…nor do I have a clue how this even relates to what I’m even saying at all. And then people complain and Grammar Nazis start riots by burning a bunch of black people’s business’ down while five year olds are skull fucking their great grandparents in a southern bayou while alligators are ripping through space and time with Doctor Who with a pen up his asshole and critics divide by zero, making this conversation never happening whatsoever and we start at the very beginning of what I was saying. Now, where were we?

Oh yeah…that’s right now, Wolf was messing around and he woke me up from my slumber to tell me about Celestia and Luna’s plans for me and such…along with Wolf being a dick, planning to unleash an army of zombie Elvis Presley’s upon the school for an April Fool’s day joke, and of course, slapping one of our friends at the school. Well, that was last night, well at the time it was. Wait a second…déjà a vu….oh well.

Luna’s starry night had passed and Celestia’s beautiful morning slowly rose in the distance…of space…and time and such. Well, it was a good spring day, I suppose it was spring. I don’t really remember since it really wasn’t that memorable and such, but you get the idea though.

Anyways, the birds were chirping, singing a lovely tune to start off the morning. And of course some of the birds were song birds, and if you ever read To Kill a Mockingbird, kill a black guy…bird…I meant bird…that’s what I mean…kill a bird…actually don’t kill a bird, or else the gang of the Song birds will break into your home and pull out a gun and pop your ass, while holding it sideways, like a black guy.

Which makes the bird a black guy…hmmmm….interesting. Well, the birds were signing their tune and every other pony around the school woke up with smiles on their faces, well most I should say since not all the ponies were having a swell time at their school. Some were failing their classes while others were barely making it, which makes it not such a great time for them to be at Celestia’s school for the gifted or something like that.

Then again, I wonder…are the gifted students that are really smart…are actually dumb? And like…vise versa for the other ‘special’ students that you give a gold start to whenever they go and take a shit right for once every six months. Well, the ponies were enjoying the birds chirping to start off their glorious morning at the school, and the birds suddenly went quiet.

How you ask, because Wolf got so annoyed, along with me as well a little bit, that he grabbed out a gun that I had hidden near my desk, which of course I taught him how to use, don’t ask, and shot all the birds. In other words, he killed a bunch of black people and soon, they will have a bird revolution and soon use the hash tag on their black people social media accounts, I mean bird phones: #BlackGuyStuff. Let the revolution commence!
But don’t worry, we’ll kill them…and soon…they will be back in the cotton fields, I mean in the hood. Yes…the hood…that’s where they will exactly they will be at…no seriously, they will. I mean it’s their natural habitat. Anyways, aside from birds/black jokes, Wolf had just killed all the birds by pointing a gun out the window and such, which he had to get on his hind legs of course, and soon was relieved to kill all the birds around the area that was annoying him. I then heard the gun shots, obviously, like no shit Sherlock, but apparently some grammar Nazis aren’t Sherlock, so they really need everything to spelled out for them to actually understand anything whatsoever.

Anyways, I jolted out of bed, got onto the floor and quickly rammed into Wolf because he used a gun. Guns are not common in Equestria, nor were they ever guns. It was actually quite peaceful most of the time without it, but you know, if to say one person, say humans or Earth itself, were to bring a single gun and introduce it into this universe that I am in…hell will break loose and that’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust humans too much with the ability to go to other universes.

This is what could happen, no…scratch that…what did happen, but that will obviously be explained later. Well, I had a pissed off look at Wolf while I pinned him to the ground with my two hooves, while Wolf looked at me, wondering what I was doing, or maybe I was gay. And then, we could have had a bromance. And somewhere on the internet, some lonely bastard or bitch read this and made a romance or bromance between me and Wolf.

As in it would say, ‘I looked into Wolf’s eyes. His eyes were begging me to give him some love. We were best friends to the end, and I wanted to show my love towards him. My glossy lips curled as I licked it and my eyes met his eyes. Suddenly, Wolf wanted to show his loved towards me, so he grabbed my member and slowly went up and down my member, showing his love towards me. And then, I got down on my pony knees and spread my butt cheeks for him. He then had a smile on his face and he inserted his long cock into my ass. It was painful, but I loved him too much. Wolf is love. Wolf is life. And then, his love juice came and I took it all up the ass.’

You know, some lonely little fuck out there that is seeing a dozen therapists at the moment would write that. Besides, I wouldn’t do that for Wolf. If we saw eye to eye and wanted to show our friendship to each other…or…broship….we would either smoke weed, drink beer, make bets, make sick and weird jokes, or try and kill each other…but in a good way.

Anyways, Wolf looked at me and he then said while I was giving him a pissed off look, “What are you doing Knight? If you’re planning on coming out of the closet on me, I want to let you know I don’t swing that way.”

I then said to him, but with a moderate tone in my voice, “First, you’re a somewhat funny asshole Wolf.”

I then said to him, but this time with more of an aggressive tone when I spoke, “Second, what the fuck do you think you’re doing you dumbass!? Do you have any idea what trouble you could cause!?”

I then took the gun away from Wolf as I got up with my to put it away in a box hidden near the wooden desk in my room that I used for my studies and such.

As I was walking over to the desk to put it in a box that was in a secret compartment that I made within the wall, long story, I said to Wolf, “If anyone here in this universe that we’re carrying guns, we’re fucked Wolf.”

Wolf then said to me as I was pulling out the box on the desk to put the gun back, “Oh come on Knight. They won’t know you’re human, they would just think you came up with a new invention and then you could make millions…and then…we can finally have an army of genetically modified waffles that sing and dance while you’re eating them alive…and they shit out purple sherbet ice cream while they’re doing it!”

I then paused and put a hoof on my face and gave a sigh.

I then said to Wolf while I was putting the box away in the compartment, “Yes, but this is a weapon Wolf. This can kill and cause chaos. I mean if you look back on Earth and see how much trouble has been caused with just a gun, you would understand what I’m talking about.”

I then started to walk towards my bed, where I had a nightstand nearby. I had kept the files that Wolf gave me last night in the drawer, because honestly why the fuck not?

Well, as I was grabbing out the files, I then continued to say to Wolf, “I know it may sound like I’m talking shit about guns and that they’re bad, but obviously I’m not. I’m just saying is all, you shouldn’t bring anything into a world that doesn’t need guns. And obviously, this world doesn’t need it. It’s completely fine without and functions normally. But another problem is, Celestia and Luna might come after me and try to kill me if they find out about the gun because they may or may not think it’s a good thing and would want to execute me for ‘creating’ such a thing.

‘In which case I’m dead and you will possibly either be thrown back into the Everfree forest or imprisoned for the rest of your useless wooden life. And then we will be truly fucked if we both end up in hell.

‘Then again if I ever see TK again, he could possibly bust me out since he is now currently the devil of his universe and all, and more than likely he can bust us out of hell in this universe. But that would mean we would be exiled from this universe, and so far I rather not cause any trouble than what I have to around here. Sure, I may cause trouble sometimes with guns, but sometimes I can’t help it and end up using it, that or I’m really high, stupid, or drunk.

‘Either way, I sometimes end up using it for a stupid purpose. But that is not the point Wolf. The point is, no pony here in this goddamn world needs to know about who I am and what I am capable of. Nor do they need to know my past and my adventures through the portals.

‘ Besides, they may not trust me, what am I talking about, they won’t trust me anymore if they find out I lied to them about who I truly am Wolf. And I also fear for their own safety if they find out about the portals, because they could unleash something upon themselves that cannot be undone. Now…anything you would like to ask…Wolf?”

Then Wolf just stared blankly at me, and for a few seconds, there was nothing but pure silence.

He then said to me with a particular look that said, ‘I don’t get it. Are you a douche bag or are you just being a little whiny bitch because your father tried to strangle you in the shower every time you tried to sing a kidz bop song, because he hated you ever since you were born. And then he would go into your room every night, drunk, thinking that you’re an ugly chick, and strangely enough, he has a thing for ugly chicks, so he starts to rape you in the asshole, while you’re screaming for mercy and for someone to put you out of your misery, but yet all you get is a very mildly irritated black cat that ends up pissing in your face every time you said the word pudding and ends up raping you in the ear.’

Yeah…that kind of looked is what Wolf gave me, while he said to me, “I’m sorry, I was thinking of blowing my own brains out because what you said was very boring to me, can you repeat that again please?”

I then gave him a serious look and I then said to him, “Just shut the fuck up wolf,” as I went to sit on my bed and look through the files to see what was going on.

I then said to him as I got on my bed, “Just don’t mess anything up and stay out of trouble while I look through these files, ok Wolf?”

Wolf then said to me, “Awwwwweeeee…but I want to go outside Knight. I might be able to rape and half eat the dead birds that I kill and stuff it in the books. So that the next personal student of Celestia stays here, he or she will have an awesome surprise that says ‘I’m going to rape you if you fuck up in life.”

I then looked at Wolf as I was picking up the first file, “Sometimes Wolf, I don’t know…but I sometimes I want to end you…”

Then Wolf gave a bit of a smirk and then said, “So does the ladies.”

I then said to him, “You’re never going to fuck a pony Wolf…not at least here you’re not.”

Wolf then said to me, “I’m willing to bet that I can do so before we do end up leaving this joint.”

Then I asked Wolf, “How much are you willing to bet Wolf?”

Wolf then thought for a bit and he then said to himself, “I’m willing to bet to listen to one of Celestia’s lectures about where my kind comes from.”

I then said to him, “You really hate her and her lectures about your kind don’t you Wolf?”

He then said to me, “I want to put a bullet through her head every time she speaks a single word about my kind. She’s so boring it’s not even funny.”

I then said to him, “Well I can at least stand her. I mean it’s a bit interesting to me at least. Now, I’m willing to bet that if you win, I’ll run around the school yard, dressed up like a hobo and scream ‘I escaped Kevin James’s basement!”

Wolf then said, “Deal!”

And then he put his paw in front, as I put my hoof in front as well and we shook on the deal. The thing is between Wolf and me, we always make bets.

I then said to Wolf, “Now shut up and listen what these files that you brought to me last night have to say.”

Then Wolf sat down on the ground and was all ears. I opened up the first files that had something about the town I was going to, which was Stalia. I then started to speak about what I was seeing on the files.

I said as Wolf was listening…for once… “With these files that you gave me Wolf, it seems that Celestia and Luna are planning to send me to a small town called Stalia. It seems to be somewhat near Ponyville, or in other words, over on the other side of the Everfree Forest. It also says that the town was found a few years after Ponyville was found, but not much else is known about the small town’s origins, for no history book in Equestria has the origins written down for Stalia.

‘However there exists rumors about a book hidden within the City Hall building in Stalia, which tells of Stalia’s beginnings and how it came to be along with who found it, but those are just rumors, so chances are it may or may not exist. Outside of that, Stalia is a complete mystery, as if one day, it just decided to exist. Interesting. It also says that the gender population is at a fair balance, has a hospital, school, movie theatre, market place, ect. The usual town things that a town would have, nothing new to really talk about. Although, here’s an interesting thing.”

There was a small piece of paper attached to the file about Stalia, and it was something of interest a little bit and I said, “It seems that Stalia has a connection to the Everfree Forest somehow in its origins…but it’s a rumor though. Well no point in wasting time in a rumor then I suppose. Let’s see what else is in this file about Stalia…nope…doesn’t look like nothing else other than this one last thing.

‘ It says here, which seems to be written by Celestia, her writing seems familiar, that Stalia is home to the Elements of Protection. The Elements of Protection are a second set of elements that was created long ago without the knowledge of Celestia or Luna, and it is to be believed that five of the six elements are in Stalia. Not much is known about the elements and the power it holds other than it can defeat great and powerful foes of certain strength. And I’m guessing since history seems to be repeating here, I’m one of the elements, so that makes me all of the elements and such if I go to Stalia. How wonderful. It also says that the files of the ponies I must meet and make friends with are right here.”

I then look at the other files and I saw all the ponies I would have to meet and join forces with for whatever reason why Celestia and Luna are making me do this.

I stare at the files and I then said to Wolf, “Alright then, that makes sense, but the question is, how am I part of the elements? I don’t even live here, but then again if someone can write fan fiction about a group of humans being a second set of the Elements of Harmony on Earth, then why not this? I mean that story does have its own universe somewhere in the portals, but still…I suppose anything is possible.”

Wolf then spoke up and asked, “Does it say any where why Celestia wants you to go to Stalia? I mean, if it’s because she thinks you’re like Twilight, then maybe she has a problem.”

I then said to Wolf while I was continuing to look at the file that Celestia had wrote about the Elements of Protection, “Celestia always been having a problem for me. For fuck’s sake, she keeps thinking I don’t have any friends, but of course that’s a lie, but for whatever reason she can’t seem to see that I have friends…but whatever. Now apparently Celestia did list a reason why she is sending me, not sure why she would write this down, but really who gives a fuck nowadays, right? Anyways, it says it here…but it’s like written in a story format. I suppose I could try and read as it is.

‘ Once upon a time, there lived two sisters that lived together and ruled the kingdom of Equestria. They both ruled upon the land and blah, blah, blah, it’s a bunch of fucking bullshit. Let me cut to the chase….apparently Celestia felt bad for sending her little sister Luna to the moon all by herself with no one to talk to, so she made a clone of herself so she could at least talk to someone and wouldn’t be alone for a thousand years or so.

‘However, Luna was still Nightmare Moon while she was banished, so she ended up corrupting the clone and somehow the clone is finding its way back to kill the two sisters and rule over Equestria.” Wolf then asked, “Is that really what she put on there?”

I then said to him, “Of course not you dumbass! Why in the world would see even write a curse word other than when it’s absolutely necessary in rare situations? No…I just summarized it up because what Celestia was a bunch of bullshit to me…to me that is. I mean sure, it was nice that she wrote it down like it was in the beginning of the first episode in the show back on Earth, or that it was like a fairy tale or whatever she was trying to do, I’m just saying is all is that it is not what we’re dealing with here.

‘We’re dealing with some clone that she made over a thousand years ago and me and these ponies I have to meet have to fix her mess because apparently we hold great power as Elements of Protection, along with the fact that I’m actually human and over fifty thousand years old, along with discovering the portals to the outside of the universe that leads to more portals to other universes…and you’re a talking timber wolf, Wolf.

‘It might have been fine for Twilight, but not for me…this is different…but in the end we all see what we want to see I suppose, so no complaining about that. But if you really want to know Wolf, it’s that Once upon a time there lived two sisters. They once ruled a kingdom named Equestria. The eldest, rose the sun every morning, while the youngest, rose the moon every night.

‘However, all the ponies would bask in the daylight and rest under the stars, but it angered the young one and she felt betrayed and unwanted. She felt like she meant nothing at all, so one day, a dark force took over her and she became Nightmare Moon. She wanted to banish the sun and forever have the night in its’ place, but the older sister wouldn’t stand for her evil ways, so she used the Elements of Harmony against her and banished her to the moon for a thousand years so she would not harm a single soul.

‘Every pony rejoiced as Nightmare Moon was gone, but the older sister felt sadness within her heart and felt sorry for the young one, who was now all alone on the moon with no one to talk to.

‘So, before she started her reign over Equestria by herself, she sent a copy, a clone of herself to talk to Luna, and perhaps that one day she would turn back into her normal self if the clone could talk her out of her younger sister being Nightmare Moon.

‘However, as the older sister saw each and every night, as she kept a watch on the moon to see how the progress was going, she was scared, as her clone slowly turned evil as Nightmare Moon turned her evil.

‘Of course she always thought that the Elements of Harmony could defeat her when the time came for her arrival, as she knew she would come to Equestria one day. However, a soon as after when Nightmare Moon turned back into her kind sister once more, she was worried that the Elements of Harmony wouldn’t do it.

‘And she knew of the other set of elements, the Elements of Protection was still around, after she wanted to hunt the elements down and destroy it after a former follower of hers disobeyed her orders and made elements that were not the elements that were kind such as the Elements of Harmony, but instead were of different aspects.

‘So, instead of hunting to destroy the elements, she instead hunted the elements down and to try and gather the elements in one place, so the elements could fend off the attack of the clone, for the elements are much stronger than the Elements of Harmony and could fend off any attack from beyond their own world.

‘However, the two sisters could only find five out of the sixth. The sixth one is still missing to this day and roaming somewhere in this world, only time will tell if the element can be found.

‘If not, then death shall be upon Equestria and all that lives there, as the Elements of Harmony cannot defend this world against her clone, as she has gathered much strength since she was turned by Nightmare Moon. However, the two sisters hope one day they will find the last element in time…one day…”

Then we heard a knock on the door. Then, a voice spoke up and said “Knight, could we come in please?”

It was Celestia, along with Luna, because of course she said the word ‘we’, and who else would it be…Cadence? I don’t think so…she’s like…over with the crystal meth ponies and stuff…getting high on crystal meth…she could get high on all those ponies.

Anyways, I then quickly hid the files under the covers in my bed and then looked towards the door and said, “You can come in.”

The door opened and Celestia and Luna walked through the door and closed it behind them. They then walked towards me in a calm mood, so you know, they’re not upset or anything. I mean why would they be upset in the first place?

It’s not like a big explosion happened outside or anything like that and Muslim ponies start exploding…because they explode naturally. I mean…Muslims explode in nature…it’s in their genes…because…of logic. Logic of sense…and of mind. It just makes sense is all, let’s put it that way.
Well, Celestia and Luna were walking towards me and we are both looking at each other while Wolf was just…looking as well. I mean…it’s because…why the fuck do I have to detail everything again?

Oh wait…I forgot…if I don’t do so, the Grammar Nazis are going to start World War Q because why not and everyone else will think it’s the apocalypse because one item was not described enough for fifty pages. I mean it’s cool, I understand, we all get that way…I mean…just wait until the day when Steam goes offline or when all men lose their porn…then the real shit will happen.

Just you wait…it’ll happen one day. And when it happens...I’ll still be in the My Little Pony universe as usual chances are…that or dead, but either way I don’t need to bother with what people do in their lives anymore, because while I’m writing this right now, I haven’t been back to Earth in years, so honestly I don’t care what goes on Earth anymore.

But anyways, the two sisters with their flowing manes as usual walked up to me and stopped by the foot of my bed.

I then asked them, “So, are you two here to tell me something important I assume?”

Celestia then looked at her sister for a bit, then back to me and said, “Well, yes, you are correct Knight. We do have some important and a bit exciting news for you. Although we are unsure how well you and Wolf will take it.”

I then told them, “I’m all ears, as well as Wolf…right Wolf? Wolf?”

I then turn my head towards Wolf and he was just staring at me, but yet it seems he was just staring out into space while looking at me in a way.

Wolf then comes to notice that I’m looking at him as well as the two princesses and he says, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy looking at Luna and Celestia’s wings.”

Celestia and Luna then took a quick glance at their wings, but they shrugged it off and looked back at me while I looked at them.

Celestia then said to me, “Yes…well, we have some news for you Knight. Now, I am aware that you don’t have any friends here and you mostly spend your time here with the books and everything.”

That’s a lie because clearly Celestia and Luna never noticed that I had friends and I didn’t give two shits and a popsicle if the books were burned and Twilight were crying her eyes out that her books that she went to school with when she was Celestia’s personal student were all gone now. I would cry more to a snail that lost his dick more than that ever happening.

But, for whatever season, at the time, Celestia and Luna never saw what I saw. But honestly, I know now, but does it really fucking matter now? I mean it honestly doesn’t and…oh…right…I forgot…the Nazis…World War Q…sorry.

I would rather not have any complaints, because the complain department is gone because it was just a grenade. No really, I had a complain department for this type of shit and it was a grenade…but too many ponies took that grenade and…well I have no more grenades so whatever.

Anyways, Celestia then continued with, “Well, Luna and I have decided to send you to a small town near Ponyville that goes by the name of Stalia. We believe this will help you make friends, but not only that, but I do want you to do some work there as well for me if you don’t mind of course.”
I then asked, “What is the work do you want me to do then?”

Celestia then said, “Well, as you may know, the Summer Sun Celebration is tomorrow. And I have chosen Stalia as the town where I shall be at, however I would like for you to oversee the decorations and such, as I would want it to be as perfect as it can be. I shall give you a list tomorrow when you do go to Stalia on the ponies you have to check in with. And who knows, perhaps you will make friends with them. So, how do you feel about staying in Stalia?”

I then say to her, “I’m ok with it. I mean, I’ll miss the school, but I’m ok with it.”

Celestia and Luna then looked relieved and had smiles on their faces, in which Celestia then said, “Excellent. You shall leave first thing tomorrow then. For now, you should start getting packed and enjoy your last day here on the campus. And there will be no need to come to any lectures that I may have for you as well. Just be ready for tomorrow and relax.”

Celestia and Luna then headed towards the door and Luna opened the door and headed out. Then Celestia was about to go out of my room, but she then paused in her tracks in the middle of the doorway, looked back at me, and smiled. She then headed back outside where Luna was and was headed to do whatever business that she had to do. She also closed the door just to let those people with reading issues know.

Wolf then said to me once the door was closed, “Well then…that was interesting.”

I then said back to him, “Yeah…those two bitches were interesting.”

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun

Well, the two sisters were out and about doing their things, and me and Wolf of course were still in our room.

I then said to Wolf, “So, before I was interrupted by those two, that’s basically for what Celestia and Luna wrote about what the problem is.”

Then Wolf asked, “Are sure there’s nothing more about the origins about the elements?”

I then looked a second time and did find something, in which case I said to him, “Yes there is…but I’m going to be a douche bag right now and not say anything about it to you since you were a dumbass this morning. But I’ll give you this though.”

I then quickly read through it and then said to Wolf, “The Elements of Protection is strong, very strong, and it seems to have been made for anything that may harm this world from the beyond. As in, the Elements of Harmony are meant to protect from within, while the Elements of Protection protect this world from anything from the beyond, the unknown, anything that isn’t from this world. A good example would be TF. Now how about we go down onto the campus and talk with the guys, I’m sure they will want to know about our departure tomorrow.”

Of course I will say what the origins behind the elements…don’t worry Grammar Nazis and critics. You don’t have to start World War Q yet…don’t worry…don’t drop the nuke yet on the Asians. You can do that once you think I went off course, which I know you will do it eventually.

I’m sure you’re eyeing my shit like a hawk, ready to strike when shit doesn’t get explained. Anyways, Wolf and I then got up and headed for the door. Wolf went out first, and I was the last one out…obviously.

We headed down the steps since we were still living in the tower and we headed towards the front of the school building. We went around the building of course and I saw my main friends hanging around a tree near the path to the entrance of the front door to the school building. They were my main friends and they were all guys of course, calm down females…calm the fuck down…I know you have a nuke too…don’t use it…and obviously I’m talking to the ones that go bat shit crazy if they don’t see a playable female character in a video game.

Anyways, my main friends were Promptos, Ig, and Gladio. Promptos had a blond colored main and tail. It was in a spiky type style of hair and his coat color was a tan-ish color. His cutie mark was a black vest…because….logic…and he was always a clumsy guy, but was a cool and always up beat type of guy.

Like, he’s a bit dumb at times, but can be very supportive and helpful whenever he isn’t clumsy. As for Ig, I’m not sure why he was named that, but all I know is that he was named Ig. Ig had a combed back mane, with a bit of a spiky style in the front with a bronwn-ish color mane and tail.
He always wore a pair of glasses, his coat color was grey and had a green eye color. His cutie mark was a pair of glasses surprisingly, but only because he was the smart one in the group. But he could be annoyed sometimes by just about anything at times if it went for too long.

As for Gladio, He was the tough guy in the group and also had a pair of abs and always wore a black vest that was always opened. Not sure why other than always showing off his abs…maybe he was from New Jersey.

His coat color was white while his main color was black and his hair was always straight town except for the front. It was always clear in the front and sides. So his mane somewhat flowed every now and then, always making him look important because he was college student and a philosopher.

So if to say he had a guitar, and wrote a song about water…he would’ve been cool, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he works out, but he isn’t obsessed about it though. Well, even though this is the first time mentioning them, I will say we went on plenty of adventures, like not too long ago on that day, we went camping and got lost and had to find our way back to the School. But don’t worry Nazis…I’ll get to that story one day, but for now, those were my main friends, as I have more friends…you idiots…

Anyways, Ig was lying down on the grass, green grass for you retards out there, and reading a book. As for Gladio and Promptos, they were near the tree and talking, although that tree…that tree looked very sinister that day. It was as if it was plotting…to take over the world…a very sinister looking tree…against the bright of the daylight…you would have never guessed it was a sinister tree.

Anyways, I should also mention that how that the guys were starting to remind me of a bad rap music gang that makes bad rap music as I was walking towards them, like they would make a song called, “Rape that cookie and apple up in the butt with your mouth.”

Sounds like what a black would say or Zebra if you know what I mean.

Well, I walked up towards them, and as I was walking towards them, Promptos noticed me first, and he said to me with a smile while raising his hoof in the air to wave at me and said, “Oh, hey Knight! How’s it going?”

Then Gladio and Ig turned their heads towards me and then Ig said, while putting his book down, “I hope you’re not up to anything stupid, because last time we were almost caught red hoofed because of your stupidity.”

I then said to Ig as I stopped near them, because you know…personal space…in case anyone doesn’t know anything at all…a.k.a almost everyone that tells me to remember that the reader doesn’t know ANYTHING at all.

Anyways, I then said to them, “First off, that was Wolf that was being stupid…as usual. Second, I have news for all of you…and you might not like it.”

Then Gladio then said to me, “What happened this time? Did Wolf here unleash another god that plans to destroy the world after being released from its prison by Wolf. If that’s the case, then bring it on…We can take it on, of course if we work together as a team of course.”

I then said to him, “No…Wolf hasn’t done that…yet…but it’s something else that doesn’t require us to work as a team, but more or less just talking it through.”

Then Promptos said to me, “You can tell us anything Knight. We can always talk things through.”

Then Ig put his two cents in and said, “Yes, but yet we always get into situations that could have been easily been prevented if we had talked things through. So, what do you have to say to us Knight?”

Then I said, “Well it’s not just you, but everyone else. You see…Celestia and Luna are sending me away to a town called Stalia so I’m basically moving away from you guys and possibly won’t see you for a long time, if not forever.”

Then they were shocked and surprised to hear the news…but not the good kind of surprised.

You know, the shocked face look that says, ‘Oh my goodness…social networking sites are down. Quick! It’s the end of the world. The four horsemen of the apocalypse are here. Hide your kids, hide your wives. Rape your kids, rape your wives. Kill all the Jews, it’s mass hysteria. Quick…kill the babies…we need….fucking…shit we’re stupid in society.’

That kind of look.

Well, Promptos then said with that look to be specific, “You’re going to leave us Knight?”

Then Gladio said, “That isn’t good…not one bit…”

Then Ig said, “This is truly sad news to hear.”

And then my two other friends came walking in, the brother and sister as they came walking out of the building, the front door obviously and came walking towards us.

The names were Starlight Rocker, being the sister of course, and Clever Fire…because…also logic. Man, Nimoy would be so proud right now at those names. Well, Clever was of course, the older brother of the younger sister, Starlight. But to me, Starlight seems to be a common name in the My Little Pony universes, but that’s just me I guess.

Well, both were walking out the two front doors to the school and were walking towards us, and like I said, they were friends…just not my main bro friends if you know what I’m sayin. You saw what I did there? Get it? No? Only Asians did…well…at least you’re still cool to me Asians…these…Philippine people never let me have any fun…

Well, after that they walked towards us, Starlight said…now wait a second…I forgot to explain what they both looked like…don’t start a riot yet people…don’t start…it’s not too late yet. You don’t have to do the rape and murdering just yet…I know you’re going to do it because of people…people not explaining stuff properly…just hold on your ponies…horses… get the idea.

Well, with Starlight, she was a brown coat color type of pony with a dark blonde type of mane color and her hair style was all straight down, but with a bit of curls I suppose, like it wasn’t completely straight down, but you get the idea. She wasn’t much for spending time with other girls, she liked spending time with the guys.

She wasn’t much for that make up or dating type either. In fact, she pretty much grew up in a home filled with men because her mother died when she was only one month old, so her bigger brother and father had to take care of her instead.

No grandmas or grandpas, so she was used to do guy things and such and never really did anything that a mare did…for the most part. Or else she might as well have a sex change or become a lesbian.

Either way…it wouldn’t be the hot kind. Oh, and she always wore a grey hoodie, not sure why, but I’m guessing that was her thing. As for her bigger brother, Clever, he was a brother that was always there for his little sister, but yet, never did well at it.

He was good at studying and such, but he was mostly just one of those idiots that were rebels if you get what I’m saying. It’s a bit complicated to fully explain, but his character was like…a bit odd. Anyways, he had a dark/light blue color to his coat, with a very dark brown mane and it was a typical type of a stallion mane style look to it. Nothing special about it.

Although, the question is…do you want it to be special, like a retarded kind of special or a too smart kind of epical. Because either way, it’s stupid.
Oh…and Clever was the one Wolf slapped that one night in case if you were wondering and wanted to go into a killing rage because I didn’t explain it.

Anyways, they both walked up to us and Starlight said, “Hey Knight, how’s it going?”

Then Clever asked me, “You’re ready for a another ‘fun’ day at school?”

I then said to him, “Nope…because I don’t have to report to Celestia or anything like that…because I’m moving away.”

Then they were both shocked and then Starlight said, “You’re moving!? Where is Celestia moving you’re to?”

I then said, “To a small town called Stalia…apparently it’s near the town of Ponyville and stuff.”

Clever then said to me, “Well then…we’ll miss you for sure then. When are you’re going?”

Then I said, “Tomorrow morning.”

Then Starlight thought for a moment and then said, “You know what we should all do? Have a little get together by the hill and have a little going away party for Knight.”

Promtos then said, “That’s a great idea! We can have beer, a little bon fire, roast marshmallows, sing a goodbye song for Knight. It’ll be great!”

Then Ig said to Promptos, “What are you Promptos, in the third grade? Roasting marshmallows and such, aren’t you a little old for that?”

Then Promtos said with a confident smile, “Come on Ig…you can never be too old to roast marshmallows and have a good time.”

Then Ig said to him while continuing to read his book, “I know that Promtos, I’m just saying, will you ever grow up and stop being dumb? Seriously Promptos, you’re like a child sometimes…but I’ll admit…you’re our child, and I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about that.”

Then Promptos said, “Hey! I’m not a child! I can perfectly be an adult.”

Then Ig had a little smirk form across his face and said, “Yes, you sure can be, whenever you’re playing with your video games and such.”

Promptos then said, “Hey…even Stallions play arcade games too.”

Then Ig said, “Of course they do.”

Galdio then butted in and then said to me, “Since you’re going away Knight, do you think you can hang out with us one more time or what?”

I then said, “Yup, same thing with you two…Starlight and Clever, I can hang out with you all one last time, and then at the end of the day, spend it on the top of the hill roast marshmallows and stuff.”

Then, another friend of mine, but one that I didn’t hang out with a lot, but knew very well though, was Snuggles Swirl. She was one of those mares that was kind of opposite of Starlight, and was always that mare type or that girly girl type that loved the dresses and make up and such. She wasn’t stupid or anything, but she was likeable.

Oh…and she was a Pegasus…which..before any others bring out their pitchforks and torches, which I know you all spent a fortune on, I’m going to make you waste that money and tell you what the others were. Ig was a unicorn, Promtpos was also a Pegasus while Glaido was an Earth Pony. With Starlight she was a unicorn as well while Clever was an Earth Pony.

See….you all wasted your money on those pitchforks and torches…I hope those burn in hell… now back to what I was talking about…Snuggle Swirl. She had a coat color that was between a red and a pink color.

So a light red I suppose you can call it. She also had a light colored purple mane and this was all straight down with a bit of pink highlights in her mane. Oh, and she had a cutie mark that was a makeup case, and before you all go berserk on my pony ass…please don’t rape it…Starlight’s cutie mark was a picture of a guitar…so maybe she was destined to be a musician perhaps. With Clever…for some reason, he had a teddy bear, so maybe he was going to be able to make….teddy bears. I really have no fucking clue why it was that way, but you get the idea.

With Snuggle’s personality, like I said, she was the girly girl type…so nothing else needs to be explained, but can she be tough and stand up for herself? Of course she can, so all the raging feminists can calm the fuck down and hold on to their bomb that they have somewhere in an airport.
I’m sure anyways, I mean, that’s what happens when someone pisses them off…or they’re on their period. Yeah…right now…I feel like wearing sunglasses because of that, because clearly…I’m a complete and utter idiot…an idiot that just burned the feminists. Anyways, Snuggles was running towards me, or galloping for those cloppers out there…what?

I’m sure you cloppers would find it sexy if you saw a pony dressed in a sexy outfit and was galloping…right? Or maybe you would find it sexy and unable to not jack off if some hot chick, or guy, which either way you swing, were to try and gallop and or say the word gallop. In fact, I’m sure every time cloppers hear the word gallop, they cum in their pants. And then they slowly eat the cum, resulting them to cum again in an endless cum cycle and eventually having a heart attack and going to pony heaven, the bad one, and eventually trying to pretend none of that ever happened.

Well, as I was saying, Snuggles was running towards me while saying to me, “Knight! Knight! I’ve got to show you something!”

Then after she said that, she didn’t stop running until she rammed into me…well it’s sort of like ramming anyways. I mean, she was running towards me and didn’t stop until she crashed into me. In which case, she was on top me, I know, I’m ashamed myself, and we were on the ground, trying to gather what had just happened.

She then realized she crashed into me and she then got off of me, finally, now I can be the dominant one now, and she then lent out her hoof towards me so she could help me get off the ground.

I gladly grabbed her hoof and I slowly got up from the ground, while she said to me, “I’m so sorry about that. I just really wanted to show you something.”

I then said to her, while looking down to make sure I didn’t have any bruises or anything like that, because clearly you can get seriously hurt if you fall on the ground and someone crashed into you…………………………. Did you get it yet?

Anyways, I then said to her while I was checking to see if I was hurt or anything like that, but obviously you really don’t get it, so whatever, “Yeah, I’m fine Snuggles. So what is it do you want to sow me.”

Then she grabbed my right hoof and said, “It’s this way!”

I was then dragged along by Snuggles against my will as she quickly pulled me to whatever she wanted for me to see. We then went through the front doors of the school, took a quick flight of stairs to the left once we entered through the doors.

She then dragged me up the stairs, as I felt every bump as I went up, as I was being dragged. It didn’t hurt that much, as I was used to worse. Oh, and as far as Wolf goes, he was just following along and such, why, I don’t know, I suppose he didn’t feel like speaking up because he was enjoying my pain of being dragged up the stairs and such, but you get the point.

Also, I should also mention that when I first met Snuggles, I think Wolf kept having a sexual fantasy about her that she sucked his wooden cock and stuff. Why did I bring that up? Because Wolf didn’t mention or speak to snuggles when I was being dragged up the steps and to help me out, so perhaps he was too busy checking out that fine pony ass.

Anyways, we eventually got up to the second level and she immediately headed towards the girl dorm rooms. And just to make it clear, it didn’t matter if a guy was in the girl’s area, as I know some schools, and even in Equestria, didn’t allow guys to be in girl areas if you know what I’ saying.
Well, here, those rules didn’t apply, so calm down, don’t kill anyone. I didn’t leave out that detail. Especially for you nitpickers out there. I know you like to start a good ol’ fashioned mob when someone leaves out something. But I’m here to ruin your day and give you a big fuck you! And just to make it clear, I’m giving a big ass smile right now.

Well, she then dragged me down two hallways, eventually getting to her room. She opened up her door to her assigned room that she was given ever since she moved to the school, and went in, dragging me along while Wolf followed behind. She then closed the door, and while she did that, I slowly got up.

She then realized what she had done and she said, “I’m sorry Knight. I didn’t mean to do it.”

I then said to her, with a neutral expression on my face of course, “Just show me what you wanted me to show me.”

Snuggles then had a smile on her face and quickly went to her makeup area, or at least what she calls it, and quickly grabbed out a golden make up box…thingy…whatever you people call it.

She then opened it up and everything was golden in it, and I then asked, “What is it?”

She then told me, “Knight…this is one of the rarest sets of makeup kits. I just happened to find it on sale for forty bits, can you believe that?”

I then looked at her weird and started to question through my mind if this was seriously what she wanted me to see.

I then said to her, “Yeah…sure that’s something…I mean…it’s great. But uh…is this really what you wanted to show me? I thought it was important or something like that.”

She then said back to me with a particular tone like every bitch, I mean mare or female would respond in conversation if they were that type of female, “Of course it’s important. I had to show you Knight because this is good. I mean when will I ever see this again? And besides, you’re like…one of my closest friends, so I had to show it to you Knight. That and I was thinking about using it perhaps next time when the school has another dance…or maybe if there’s another Hearts and Hooves day dance…and maybe you could…take me to it.”

She said that last, long sentence while looking at me in a very odd way, but not that odd. The way that you would know if some guy or gal was looking at you and you can tell by looking deep into their eyes, deep into their souls as the eyes are windows to their souls, depending on if you’re possessed by a demon that is, that guy or gal has a special place for you in their heart. Or in other words, they have the hots for you.

And if you still don’t get it, either seek help or you shall forever be alone. Wait…sorry, I forgot, nowadays if you want to do it, you just go up to that person and do it. Because according to the younger kids…you only live once…and that’s the cue to ruin your life and possibly end it as soon as you can. Possibly ending it when you use that sentence the first time around. But hey, I’m not judging, because I’ll see you all in hell anyways…and then I’ll get out of hell and you all suffer.

Why you may ask? Because according to many people…that’s what happens when you don’t believe in the almighty stair gods. And chances are right now, there’s already riots happening as I am writing this out because people can’t get their shit together on what they believe. But hey…that’s…something of a greater importance that we shall never ever talk about…ever.

Now, as I was saying before being rudely interrupted by those who still think burning down the world and causing chaos will solve all the world’s problems and their beliefs, I was saying Snuggles was sort of in love with me. And even though you all just met Snuggles, that was true during my stay at the school, she did have the hots for me and well…she was a nice mare and everything, but honestly like I’ve said many times before, I’m not the marrying type. Nor am I the type that would want to make love to a mare or women.

Not to be a sexist, because let’s face it, many females have just started to drop the bombs and blow up airports because I didn’t say they didn’t look attractive and important for me to jack off to them. So you know…they think looks is everything in life…and you know what…they’re right…when they make a big deal out of it of course.

But, as I was saying, during my school days, she always did have the looks for me and stuff like that, but we never really went anywhere with it other than taking her to a dance or two or maybe going out on a date or something like that.

But I can’t blame her for not wanting to date me, I mean come on, I seemed to always have a way with the ladies, but I just never gave a fuck to actually care about it because I wasn’t interested in that type of love. And I still stick to it, even if people still demand a circular object to be put around one’s finger or hoof or whatever to symbolize that you love someone.

Because a circular object, more particularly a ring, pretty much says you love someone…a fucking circle says it. A circle symbolizes that you love someone and stuff. This is why most people fail in life. But then again, who the fuck cares?

Anyways, I then said to her, “Yeah, not going to happen, I’m moving away.”

She then had wide eyes and had a gaping mouth…a gapping mouth that Wolf so wanted to have his wooden dick in because…he too had the hots for her.

Well, she then asked me, “What!? Where? When? And who’s making you move?”

I then said back to her, “Yeah, I know, sad right? Well, I’m moving to a small town called Stalia tomorrow and Celestia and Luna are making me move there.”

She then thought for a moment and was silent. Me and Wolf just stared at her, as she moved her head, thinking about what to say next. It looked like she was a bit worried as well.

Then, she broke the silence and finally asked, “Do you think…I can come along with you?”

I then said to her, “Possibly not. Not if you want to stay in school that is. Chances are, you will have to sacrifice your education if you want to move with me.”

She then blurted out as soon as she could, “I’ll do it then! I’ll quit school, I’ll move in with you until I can get a job there and get a place of my own!”

I then said to her, as she was starting to tear up a bit, “No you’re not Snuggles. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no. Look, I know we’re close friends and all and the only other friends you seem to have had is the twins, but you shouldn’t abandon your education just for a friend. Friends come and go, that’s just how life works Snuggles.

‘We all go through that where we meet a friend that we like or love so much, that we keep the memories of each other in our hearts. And when the time comes when they go away, either they move or in death, we continue to keep them in our hearts as if they never left. And that’s how it should be, don’t be sad that the memories are over, be happy that it happened.”

By the way, before the ‘good’ U.S. Of A. Comes crashing down my door with a bunch of legal fees, that last line was a quote from someone, why am I mention it even though I’m in Equestria and no one can basically touch me? Well, I know some people will complain and make a second 9/11.

So anyways, Snuggles then started to cry a bit as she hung her head down low, crying a bit. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to disturb her.
However, she then raised her head and looked at me and then she put her right hoof around me and said, “I understand Knight. I’ll…miss you Knight.”

I then told her while I slowly put her hoof down, “Save your goodbyes for tonight Snuggles. Me and the other guys are going to have a little goodbye party at the hill. You can cry and say goodbye there.”

She then looked up at me and slowly smiled and said, “Thank you Knight. I’ll be there tonight.”

I then nodded and then me and Wolf exited her room.

As we were walking down the hallway, Wolf said, “She would do a great blow job on my cock.”

I then said to him, “Shut up Wolf.”

Then we headed down the hallway and down the stairs where Snuggles dragged me up from. Also, I should note before any other people complain and burn people’s houses down and start a black riot that I know you’re all just being introduced to these ponies that I’ve met, and I’m willing to bet you some dumb fucks out there are expecting to feel some sort of feeling towards them, like when I had just wrote that Snuggles was crying for me and begging for me not to leave.

I’m willing to bet someone is saying that they just met the pony or that I described, and not feeling any emotion…well like no shit Sherlock, this isn’t the part where I explain what happened during my school days at that school, that part comes later when I actually care and you all can actually care, along with the fact that it really doesn’t matter what happened because what has that school ever done for me?

Well the answer is none since you have no idea what happened there, but like I said, absolutely nothing. I thought I put that out there before a Black Riot and a Yellow riot collides and World War Asian happens.

Anyways, Wolf and I were heading down the steps and were about to exit through the front doors, when suddenly, right when we got to ten feet to the doors, the twins that I had mentioned came right in front of us and stopped us in our tracks and both twins said In unison with a sad face, “Is it true that you’re leaving!?”

We were then startled and we fell to the floor on our backs. Now let me introduce you to the twins, that you will not feel any emotions to whatsoever because, like I said, this isn’t the part where you’re supposed to actually care, or at least I try to make you care anyways, but really who cares?

And yes I know I just said it not too long ago, but remember there’s always dumbasses in every universe, so depending on whose reading it, they might have already forgotten what I had just said because they only have enough brain cells to wipe their asshole and not get killed in the world, but apparently not enough to remember what I had just a few seconds ago.

Now as I was saying, these were the twins. They were both mares, and they both looked alike with the same cutie marks and such. The only difference between the both of them were they’re eye color.

Now the twins were named Razzle and Dazzle. Now why those two names, I have no idea other than they rhyme…and rhyming is cool. Like a cool cat that says no to crossing a street without looking both ways, but then five seconds later, darting across the street without looking both ways…it’s cool like that.

Well, they both had the color coat of pink, had a cutie marks of hair because their talents were being hairdressers…you know…do some hair and stuff like that. They also both had manes that were like Snuggle’s mane, but shorter and the color was green and black.

As for the eye colors, Razzle had a red color and Dazzle had a blue color. And they were also friends of Snuggles, but other than that, Snuggles didn’t really have any other friends. So I also knew the twins as well.

Anyways, after me and Wolf fell down, we got ourselves up, and Wolf then said to the twins, “Ow…that hurts every time when they come out of nowhere. You two need to at least warn us before you do that.”

The two twins then looked at each other, then back to us, and then they both said, which they always talk in unison I should say…as they are always together, “We’re sorry. But is it true Knight? Are you really leaving?”

I then told them, “Yeah…who did you get that from?”

I asked that because they were not really friends of my bro friends or anything like that. Sure, they knew them, but didn’t really hang out though.
Anyways, they then told me, “Everypony in school is talking about it.”

I then had a curious look on my face and then asked, “Everyone?”

Wolf then said to me, as I turned my head to look at him while he was talking…because that would be very rude not to, “Well this is sort of college, kids drink, become stupid, do drugs, and rumors go around…what do you expect?”

I then told him, “Well…in a school…information does travel fast.”

I then looked back at the twins and then I said to them, “So yes, I’m leaving the school tomorrow.”

Then the Razzle and Dazzle started to tear up and looked like they wanted to cry a lot and hug one another…and then a porno is made. Hey, to some guy, two crying hot chicks that are hugging each other is hot to some guys…and it has the potential for those two chicks to make out and do it.

To some guys that is, but I then continued to say to them, “Now don’t cry you two. I know how it gets when you two cry like in the past. So before we get into a deep conversation that is not really that deep, there will be a little going away party on the hill that you two know of. You can save your tears and goodbyes for me then, but now please get out of my face so I may go outside and get some sleep under a nice tree somewhere.”

Wolf then looked a bit confused at me and he then asked, “We were going to do that? When did you say this?”

I then said to Wolf, “Please shut the fuck up Wolf…please shut up.”

The twins then looked at each other for a while in silence, and as they’re tears slowly dried up on their faces, they then looked at me and said, “Alright Knight…we’ll see you there.”

They then walked away and we were finally able to use the doors and stuff. We walked outside, the sun still in the sky with every other pony going to their classes.

The friends that I had were gone and I then said to Wolf while we were walking to the back of the school, sort of near my room…tower…thingy, “Alright then Wolf, I feel tired so I’m going to find a tree to sleep under. You however can go nuts and do whatever you want.”

Wolf then told me, “Even burning and skinning alive all the animals that are on campus?”

I then told him, “Sure…but don’t fuck them though. And actually give a legit reason why you did it, not like last time where we had to kill thirty witnesses and feed them to a plant that kept saying ‘feed me’, in which case he was black, so he ended up getting arrested by a random cop that I had no idea that was nearby and they put crack in his home, so they arrested him. And chances are, that plant is in prison now, being raped and doing something called the ‘dirty snow.”

Wolf then said, “Awwww….but I want to fuck them.”

I then said, “Well you can either burn and skin the animals alive or you don’t do it at all.”

Then Wolf said to me, as we were coming up to a tree that I saw that was nice to sit under that was near my room…tower thingy, seriously, I have no other words for it, “You’re no fun.”

I then said to him as a response, “And you’re an asshole.”

I sat down under a shady tree…that may or may not have committed a crime because it also looked sinister.

I then sat under the tree and pulled my hat over my eyes and started to drift away, but then Wolf blurted out and asked me while my hat was still over my eyes, “So…can I look at those files?”

I then told him, “It’s back in the room. Just make sure you don’t kill anyone with it.”

I then heard Wolf go away and I slowly drifted to sleep. And I then dreamed about…well I can’t recall what I dreamt about that day, I mean we all don’t recall what we dream about.

Although I vaguely recall something about the night sky though…something being under that on the clouds, but that’s all I can recall though.

Anyways, I eventually woke up an hour later, and Wolf was sitting near me, looking at the files.

I straighten out my black hat and I then said to Wolf while slowly getting up, “So, did you find anything else in there that interests you?”

Wolf then told me, “No, not really. It sounds like it’s going to be a fun time with these ponies.”

And I then said while I was picking up the files with my magic so I could put it away back in the room, “Yeah and chances are you would become an asshole to them as well. But I can’t blame you, you’re made out of wood and magic…well I’m guessing you’re part magic. What are you anyways Wolf?”

Wolf then shrugged to me, and that makes sense because I have no clue to what he was. In fact, he was smaller than the average timber wolves, so he was special in a way. It always made me wonder why Wolf was not like the other timber wolves, but I suppose that’s why we became friends, because he was different, and I do believe that says something…that no one cares and our relationship is questionable.

But in the end, Wolf was just Wolf, and we were buddies till the end. Well, I then headed back to my room, but Wolf didn’t follow, I put the files on my desk, out in the open..but don’t worry, nothing happens, and I went back down.

I then said to Wolf while we were heading into the school building, “Let’s go get some lunch Wolf.”

And then we headed into the cafeteria of the school…what? Well it was lunch time. I’m sure that dialogue that I said to Wolf that day might not been so good, because I’m sure people are already giving this .5/10 because of that bad dialogue.

But I’m just saying what is true…and once that day, I said it was fucking lunch time…so you and all the evil chicken nugget Nazis can go fuck yourselves, why? Well…lunch time is lunch time, and when it’s lunch time, well you just got to eat. What’s my point? Just shut up, that’s my point.
Now, we headed to the cafeteria and we grabbed our lunch trays and went down the line for the food. We just had what every pony would usually have…pony food…you know…either something that is sweet, it’ll give you diabetes, anything that is not meat, or something to do with hay. I mean it’s like how it was on the show, if it didn’t have meat or could give you diabetes, they would eat it. That or hay because everyone likes a good horse joke every now and then…like a horse and a bar joke, but I’ll save that joke for another day though.

Anyways, we grabbed our meals and we headed to a lunch table that me and the other guys would sit at every day. It was in the middle of the room as well to be specific and so no one becomes a whining bitch about what the specifics were. Well, the table was a circle, so we sat where we could, because honestly it didn’t really matter, it’s a fucking circle.

Well, My friends were already there…all of them, my bro friends, brother and sister friends, twins, and Snuggles. Well, I sat next to Promptos while Wolf sat next to Razzle.

Gladio then said as we sat down, “How’s your day so far guys?”

I then said, “Ok, it’s nothing special, but it’s decent. You?”

Ig then spoke up, “School, as usual…this is a school you know.”

I then said to him, “No reason to be a smart ass, but ok then. So, Starlight, clever, your day?”

Clever then said, “Well my little sis is always getting into trouble as usual.”

Then Starlight said to Clever, “Well this school is sometimes boring, I thought I would make it actually fun for once”

I then looked towards Snuggles and I asked, “Snuggles?”

She then told me, “So far, I’ve had a good day, but my I’m having a rough time in my Algebra class though.”

I then told her, “Well, at least you won’t really have to use it much in life.”

I then looked over to the twins, but I didn’t have to say anything and they blurted out with smiles on their faces, “We’re having a good day!”

I was then startled by that and I kind of was pushed off my seat a little bit because of that, in which case I then asked myself, “Why haven’t I gotten used to that yet?”

I then said as I looked at everyone and then said, “Well, I just wanted to say this to you all, I know I’m leaving and we can all say out goodbyes later tonight at the hill, but I thought a little bit on the way over here…to lunch of course, that maybe Wolf and I could spend a little time with all and hang out. Just for a little bit of course. So how does that sound, hang out one last time?”

They all then nodded, but then Wolf said, “You have to go alone Knight. I’ve got to try and win that bet.”

I then looked at him and said, “Alright then Wolf, suit yourself you heartless bastard.”

Wolf then said to me with a smirk, “I’m only a heartless bastard when I’m jacking off.”

I then told him, I then rolled my eyes at him and started to eat my lunch. Also, I know that my bro friends and the two siblings knew I was going to spend time with them already, but to make it clear before everyone starts shitting their pants and bitch, Snuggles and the twins didn’t know.

After a while, another friend…although not really though since I never hanged out with him. So really, he is more or less of a guy that I know that I would say is a friendly, but not so much of a friend.

It’s just that one guy that you know that could help you out sort of speak. So he came over to the table and his name was Bright Swing...again…not sure why the name, but there you go.

And the reason why he was called Bright, was because he was the nerd that you would know, the tech guy, the geek, the one that you would embarrass, the one that you would call gay, the one that you would have sexual fantasies of, whatever you called him, he was that type of guy.
Well, as far as Bright looked like, he wore the nerdy type of glasses, his coat color was a light blue with a dark blue for the mane color. He also always wore a vest that was brown, but other than that, that was about it as far as he looked like.

His cutie mark of course was of calculator, as he was good with math and shit like that, but he could do much more than that though. Well, he walked up to the table and kind of squeezed in as he didn’t really sit at the table with us normally.

He then said to everyone, “Hey guys, how is it going? Can I ask does anypony have a screwdriver I could borrow?”

Everyone then looked at him, wondering why ask for a screwdriver at that very moment.

Ig then spoke up and told him, “You do realize this is lunch time right? No one normally carries a screwdriver with them. What do you need a screwdriver for anyway at this time?”

Bright then explained, “Well you see, I’m working on a new device that will project a electronic pulse throughout the school. If my theory is correct, it will pretty much mess up anything that has to deal with technology within the school’s limits. Oh and, you possibly all would want to try and take anything that runs on electricity out of the school area if you know what I’m saying of course.”

Galdio then said, “Yeah, thanks for the obvious tip Bright…why are you doing that anyway?”

Bright then explained, “I’m doing it because last week, some ass wipes broke into my room and stole a few things. I was able to track them down, but when I tried to get my things back, well they just made me ‘beat the lizard’ in front of them and made me eat what came out of it.”

I then said to him, “You mean jerking off and eating your own cum?”

Bright then said to me right after giving a slight sigh, “Yes, if you want to put it that way. Although don’t ask me why they did that to me, even I’m boggled by their actions.”

Knight then said, “Well it’s alright, Wolf here jerks off and eat his own cum all the time…and I’m not sure why he does it either.”

Then the twins had a bit of disgusted faces on and both said, “Ewwwwwwww…”

I then told them, “Well apparently according to Wolf, it’s not too bad, at first, but then it goes downhill from there quickly, but yet he continues to do it, so I don’t know why.”

And Wolf just sat there and didn’t even mention why he does that kind of stuff.

Bright then spoke up and said, “Well, to me it was awful…just awful. Especially afterwards, I ended up crying myself to sleep because of it. It made myself feel disgusted, as it is pretty disgusting of course. Heck, I even told my mother it as well and I told her I was sorry that it happened, as my mother does care for me very much.”

Then Snuggles said to him, “Awwww….you poor thing.”

Then Bright said with a bit of a smile on his face, “Thanks, but there’s no need to worry now. I’m going to get back at them for making me eat my own cum by destroying their electronics, and I have also learned that the lights and everything will go out as well, so that means if I do it at the right time, I can go into their rooms at night, take back my things, and watch them cry over their things being destroyed. Also, does anypony here would like to come along with me when I do it and possibly even throw a few punches at them, since I am weak and all.”

Galdio then raised his hoof up and said, “I’m always up for a good fight.”

Then Bright said, “Good, I’ll see you in three days, make sure you’re not followed. Although I still need a screwdriver.”

Bright then looked towards my direction and he then asked me, “Knight, I know you always working on things in your room, do you think you can go get your screwdriver so I can borrow it for a moment? Perhaps actually the entire day, I’ll promise I’ll give it to you tomorrow, I just might need it to make sure I have everything working.”

I then told him, “Sorry, I’ll be packing things up because I’m leaving tomorrow.”

He then had a surprised look on his face and asked me, “Where are you going?”

I then told him, “I’m going to a small town called Stalia. Celestia and Luna wants me to go there because of ‘reasons’ so I have no choice but to go. I’ll be leaving most likely first thing tomorrow morning, so I wouldn’t see you again, so if you want to Bright, you can come to a little get together tonight we’re having on the nearby hill to say our last goodbyes.”

Then bright said, “Sorry, can’t come tonight. I’ll be too busy working on that electronic pulse machine all night, but I’ll miss you though Knight…and good luck out there. This world is a very scary place sometimes…and it can be very, very dangerous. So goodbye Knight and have a good rest of your life, since chances are I’ll never see you again.”

I then said to him, “Goodbye too. You helped out a lot in the past.”

He then nodded his head and went back to wherever he was at in the first place.

I then looked at my bro friends and said, “Alright then, I suppose I’ll start with you guys, got anything in mind that we could do?”

Gladio then looked at himm and said, “I’ve got just the thing. Meet us near the entrance to the Forbidden Forest, and of course bring your guns as well.”

I then told him, “Alright then.”

Then everyone started to get up and such, while me and Wolf were still at the table.

I then looked at Wolf and said to him, “Alright then, you go ahead and do your thing you weird ass piece of shit wood.”

I then got up without another word to each other and we went our separate ways. I took my lunch tray to the area where I would put it away as usual, and then I headed out the doors to outside, went around the school until I saw the tower, climbed the steps, went into my room, grabbed a few guns that I had hidden around the place, just hand guns to be specific, and closed the door on my way out.

Reason why I didn’t go into great detail is because that would be a fucking huge waste of time to explain every little detail that was basically common sense at this point. I know some people out there are already out on the streets causing havoc and millions are already dead with their children crying and wondering what is happening, but I assure you, you either waste time reading something that doesn’t really need to be explained since it has nothing to do with this part of my life at all, or you shut the fuck up and enjoy it…either way you’re going to complain either way.

Why? Because that’s just what people are…or humans for that matter. It’s like cutting out a hole in some human body while they’re asleep and putting your dick through that hole, basically raping that hole you punctured on that human body. Then cumming inside that hole while blood is spilling out…and doing the exact same thing to a baby.

It’s like that…somehow and some way. Possibly in another universe. Anyways, I went down from the tower and pretty much away from the tower lied an area that wasn’t occupied. Not towards the school, but the opposite direction of the school.

Try to imagine it, although I know most of you people either has very little imagination or none at all…because you don’t have a brain…instead it’s up your ass…and you shit on your brain every time you go to take a shit. Then it stinks and you end up putting a toilet plunger up your butt to clean your brain because it’s up your asshole…same thing for your balls, your balls are up there too because someone put it there so every time you took a shit, you would shit balls because you had no balls. What was I talking about? Oh yes, the direction that I was talking about was pretty much an area where there was an abandoned school building, pretty much an abandoned dorm building for that matter. And beyond that was the Forbidden Forest.

Now what made it so forbidden you might ask? Well, you see…no one really gave a fuck about it, no one questioned it, it was just forbidden…no really, that’s the truth. I don’t even question it either, but what I do question is why does it seem to me that it’s in every dungeon and dragon games or anything to deal with fantasy? Then again that’s what makes it so special…because it’s forbidden, and clearly breaking the rules is fun in a way.
Anyways, I headed towards the abandoned buildings and went past that eventually, it didn’t take long as it wasn’t too far out. I then went ahead went near the entrance to the Forbidden Forest, and yes, there was an entrance, pathway, to the Forbidden Forest.

Now why was there a path to something that was forbidden, like I said, I have no clue, but it sounds awesome nonetheless. Well, as I saw the entrance, I saw my bro friends waiting for me there. They all looked like they were ready for a fight, so was I as I had my guns and shit like that in my satchel and ready to go if you know what I’m saying.

I eventually got to them and I then said to them, “So, I’m guessing we’re going to fight random things thing within the forest? Just like the good ol’ days…or in other words a few months ago?”

Gladio then said, “Close, we’re fighting off the giant spiders in there.”

Ig then spoke up, “May I ask why are we even doing this in the first place? It sounds incredibly stupid to me to even do this. What purpose other than spending time with Knight does this particular activity have?”

Gladio then said, “Well first, it’s to have some fun with Knight. Second, the giant spiders have somewhat been starting to get annoying around here lately, so it helps the school a little bit?”

Ig then asked, “How is this even remotely fun?”

Then Promptos then said, “Well it sure beats being in class.”

Ig then responded with, “Yes, but with class, you actually learning something that may or may not help you in the near future. Here, all this does is teach you how to be suicidal. Besides, I’m not the one for skipping class usually.”

Promptos then said, “Oh come on Ig. You know you like to fight with us. We had some good times in the past right buddy?”

Ig then said, “Yes, I suppose you’re right on that, it was fun fighting alongside you all in memory’s past. But that’s only WITH you. Nothing else other than that is all I need to say. Now let’s get going and get this over with then, I rather be back in class as soon as possible.”

Promptos then said, “That’s the spirit.”

And then we all went into the Forbidden Forest to fight off the giant spiders, and I should also mention the giant spiders were led by the king of the giant spiders.

Yeah, and to also make note, we weren’t friends neither, so yeah…there you go. However, they had a little kingdom within the forest, so we just went ahead and decided to go to their kingdom. I should also mention that while I had my guns, Gladio had a big ass sword, since he was the strongest one in the group. Ig had guns as well that I made for him, but that’s because he was interested in them, but they were smaller guns, but did pack a punch though. As for Promtos, he carried small and swift blades.

Anyways, we just followed through the path into the forest. The forest itself was dark and gloomy with a foggy atmosphere in certain spots. The trees were old and were writhing away slowly, while the grass was dead within and the stone path leading into the forest was slowly breaking up piece by piece.

However, this broken path would eventually lead us into the giant spider kingdom. Well, about twenty minutes walking in, we made into the giant spider kingdom…and all the kingdom was just a big giant circle.

Like the whole area was just a giant circle, and on the edge of the area were homes of the giant spider, while in the center of said circle was the throne of the giant spider king. Now how big was the area…really I’m not sure and no one cares except for those ‘type’ of people.

In which case those type of problems with circles, in which case…you need help. Anyways, we walked into the circle as a group, carrying our weapons, while giant spiders were all watching us within their own homes and basically circling around us.

As for the throne, it was empty…until we came very close, then all of sudden, behind the throne came the king and slowly crawled into his seat. He then looked at us with his big crown on his head while all the other giant spiders were surrounding us.

The king then asked in a very sinister, low type of voice, “What are you doing here? I thought we told you that if you were to ever step a single hoof in our territory ever again, you will be killed and eaten.”

Galdio then said, “Yes well, lately your loyal subjects have become a pain in the ass lately, and we thought we would come here and kill a few of your subjects, sort of making an example out of them before the problem continues. So, if you don’t mind, we would like to get to some killing now.”

Then the king said, “So it’s killing that you want eh? Well if you want to kill, then you shall have what you ask for.”

Then all the giant spider started to close around us and pretty much saying that they were going to kill us if we didn’t do something real quick.
Ig then said as we all put our backs to each other, “Why must you always open your big mouth Galdio?”

Then Galdio said, “Well sometimes my big mouth has a mind of its own. And besides, it’s fun.”

Then Promptos said, “Uhhh….sometime it isn’t fun. I mean we are surrounded by giant…”

I then cut Promptos off and said, “Just shut up and kill these mother fuckers already.”

And then we separated from each other and we fought. Now to go into some sort of detail before heads explode, I was using my guns. They were spiders and such, so I ended up just shooting them all down in the head, it was easy actually.

Granted with hooves, it’s a bit challenging, but once you get some practice in, it’s easy as pie to use guns with hooves actually. It’s a bit odd, but it still works though. As for anything else that happened to me while fighting them off, not much else other than getting a bit dirty of course.

I mean surely the spider guts would get on me a little bit, but it wasn’t anything noticeable though. Just the color of green stuff…you know…like whatever spiders have for their blood.

Anyway, as for Gladio, he was moving around a lot, since he was carrying and using a big sword after all. Granted, it slowed him down a bit every time he swung the sword, but it did the job while killing three or four spider at once.

He was actually quite decently fast with it, but like I said before, he’s the strong one in the group. As for Promptos, he was the quickest one and fastest moving around.

He was just using the small, but deadly knives as fast as he could and killed a lot of them within just a few seconds of fighting. As for Ig, as I said, he had small guns, so he was just like me, except he moved around a lot more than I did, like moving onto tree branches and what not and dogging attacks. Other than that, nothing else to really note.

After a while, we eventually had piles of dead spider bodies and such. Granted, that doesn’t mean all the spiders were gone, there were surely plenty deep within the forest, just not around where we were of course.

After we pretty much slaughtered the entire community of the giant spiders, the king was the last reaming one and we all went in front of his throne and looked at him with smiles on our faces.

He then said to us as we just stood there, “I see…you just killed all of my subjects. Well then…well played then. I’ll leave then, I won’t bring any others here either like last time, I’ll just leave like you want me to. But just remember one day you will also fall as well. Good day to you all.”

And then he left…wow…what a deep spider. Although he did made a valid point, one day we will fall…either metaphorically or physically, we all fall in some sort of way one day. Anyways, he just left and went deeper into the forest and never came back.

So after he left, I then looked at the group and said, “That was fun…definitely reminded me of old times. Well…this was fun…I’ll be going now. You sick fucks can do whatever you want with the bodies now. I’ll won’t tell on you guys.”

I then started to walk back towards the entrance to the Forbidden Forest to go back to the school.

As I was walking away from my bro friends, Ig said to me in a sarcastic tone, “Oh ha ha Knight…your jokes are very funny. But dang it to hell, I’ll miss you.”

I then told him, “Save it for tonight Ig.”

And then I didn’t hear them again. So I just walked until I got out of the forest and such. Eventually I made it out and the sun was high in the sky, so I decided to go and visit Starlight and her brother.

I had figured they would be in their dorm room together, as they were pretty much the only exception for having a female and a male in the same room together, since it’s usually separated by genders, but whatever.

I eventually made it back to the school, no problem at all and such. While I was walking towards the entrance of the building, I saw Wolf going around to every mare he could find and he seemed to be worried and not everything was working out for him. I didn’t say anything to him as he didn’t notice me walk by, but that’s Wolf for you though.

Well I opened the door and went through it with my magic of course, went up the right sets of stairs, the opposite of the one that I was dragged up earlier on, and took a right. I then went down the hall and on the third door on my left, I knocked on the door.

Soon, Starlight opened it up and she saw me and looked at me with her somewhat lifeless eyes, those eyes that says, ‘I don’t care anymore. Society has given up on me so I rather be dead. You don’t understand my pain so I’m going to do something that is crazy and cut myself. I’ll end up doing it with that one thing that you play a violin with, in which case I’ll make amazing music and then I’ll be famous…that’ll show society they don’t understand me at all.’

Yeah…that type of look.

Well, she was also chewing some bubble gum as well and she then asked me, “What do you want Knight?”

I then said to her, “Well I am here to spend a little time with you aren’t I?”

She then said, “Yeah, but what are we going to do together then?”

We were then silent for a few seconds, until I thought up an idea and then said, “Maybe you could try to teach me how to play the electric guitar again. I still suck at it and maybe this time around I can actually play it.”

She then rolled her eyes at me and then she opened the door. In which case, I saw Clever on his bed reading a book.

Starlight then said to me, “Come on in then.”

I then went into the room and the room was fairly small. They had stuff all over the floor like their cloths and what not…I think it was cloths anyway. Well after I went into the room, she closed the door and then walked towards her bed.

She then sat down and grabbed her guitar that was near the foot of her bed and held it with a firm grip I guess with her hooves. She then looked at me and told me to sit down in a chair that was nearby the foot of the bed with her eyes. In which case, I did so and waited for her to start the basic lesson. Well she then looked down at her guitar and then struck a chord.

I’m not sure which because I still suck at guitar. Well, she then said to me, “Alright then Knight, since this is the last time you’ll be around, I’ll give you one more shot on how to play the guitar. Now, first what you need to do is tune up your instrument. You need to also memorize the notes as well and know how to read them and…”

I then blocked her own thoughts with…nothing. I actually wasn’t paying attention to her and blanked out, like I wasn’t hearing anything, not even my own thoughts. Why that happened?

I’m not sure why other than perhaps what she was saying was boring to me, in which case I just blocked her out. Eventually, she stopped talking and looked at me as if I had any other questions to ask.

I then said to her, “Alright then, this should be easy then.”

She then gave me the guitar to me and said while doing so, “Right, just like the last twenty-one times you messed up my guitar while doing so.”
I then told her, “Relax, I’ve got this in the bag.”


The door opened to her room and I was quickly shoved out of her room. She then had an angered look in her eyes and looked at me when I was out of my room while looking into hers.

She then said to me, “You fucking idiot! How can you fuck that up so quickly!?”

I then gave her a slight shrug, in which case she responded with, “You fucking owe me a new guitar Knight!”

She then slammed the door on me, in which case I then said back, “I’ll see you later tonight!”

I then decided it was time to see Snuggles and the twins. I headed back the same way I came, and as I was doing so, I look out the window when I got down to the first floor and saw Celestia’s bright, orange sun slowly going down. I also saw Wolf still out and about outside, trying to bang a mare.

However, he wasn’t having any luck. Now, with Wolf, he was the sex addict guy, and I’m sure he would even make a stage show called “Porn: Live on stage.”

And like, he would advertise it to be on a Sunday, so the Christian religion people could relate and go to the said show. Then the show would take place in an opera hall, with everyone dressed up nicely. Then, the show would begin, have a guy talk in Shakespeare talk, and then open up the show.

And then it would show two people fucking live on stage with no music whatsoever, with just the people watching it. And then the last act is a blow job, along with a musical number…then all the critics would give it…ten out of ten. Yup, and Wolf would be behind it all…because he was that type of guy who also does the sex.

That and he was an asshole at times, so he really did fit in at school Why did I just say that? Because it’s fucking relatable, that’s why, now you all can relate because you like to fucking relate to certain things, and that’s basically how human beings are.

Now why bring that up? I have no fucking clue other than the whole sex thing can also relate to me seeing Snuggles because I did say Wolf wanted to do her and stuff. So actually, in a weird way, what I just said was incredibly smart and relatable. So…yeah.

Anyways, I then headed towards a set of doors to get into the center of the school. From there, there were three ways to go into different areas of the school. Now of course I should also describe the place as the floors were all white tiles and very shiny, as it was also kept and such with a chandelier hanging down from the ceiling as well with lights on the wall. That’s a bit of a description so no one whines like a little bitch.

Now, as I said, there were three hall ways and I just kept going forward. In which case, I kept going down until the end of the hallway, there was a left and right turn, but there was also a set of two doors in the center of the intersection…like…on the wall of course.

You know what I mean, although I’m sure some human idiot will misinterpret that part and say it’s a floating ghost door or something. Anyways, the doors led to the salon area of the school, as it is used for teaching and if possible, an actual salon. Do not ask why, but whatever.

Well, I walked through the door and the room was a typical salon area, with the seats and the sinks for washing the hair and such. The smell inside was quite pleasant, as it was a salon after all. Although there wasn’t anyone inside at all except for Snuggles and the twins. They were talking when I had walked in, and when they heard the door opened, they turned their heads towards in my direction.

They had smiles on their faces and Snuggles said to me, “Oh hey Knight. Came here to spend a little time with us?”

I then said, “Yeah, and perhaps getting a little mane cut while I’m at it.”

I had closed the door behind me while I was saying that with a bit of a smirk on my face, but this smirk was more truthful then what I would give to Celestia or Luna or the others from the show that we all know by heart. I had my mane cut and groomed here by the twins plenty of times before, and honestly, it felt really nice.

In fact, I’m willing to say it was more nice than going to a barbershop. Although both always did have their perks. With a salon, it’s always nice and peaceful. With a barbershop, depending on where you go, it can be sometimes cool to hang out with the guys…like all those funny black people that go to one.

I know I’ve been to one several times back on Earth…and they were all black…and that made me not a racist at all. That and it made me look cool, because we all know that if you have a black friend, it makes you look cool…and possibly a badass if you fight side by side. I mean why not you know? But as far as a salon goes, I would prefer the peace of a salon compared to a barbershop.

And besides, it was comforting what they always did with my mane, wash it, using particular hair products, styling it if I ever felt like I didn’t care anymore and turned to be a hipster…which I’m not, and just overall good. The only downside to it all, the price is like getting sued by an old lady that you ran over and getting sued up the ass.

But thankfully I knew the twins and they were my friends and they always gave me one for free, as they did made a little money on the side during their school days with their salon skills.

Granted, it’s not like they made a lot of money, but a decent amount to say it was an actual job.

Anyways, Snuggles then said to me, “The twins would be happy to give you another haircut Knight. Just sit right here and they will do all the work.”

And so I took off my hat and put it on an empty chair as I was walking towards the spot, along with my good satchel and sat in the spot…and yes… the spot was just the floor. Well it’s not like they sit in chairs that often. Well, the twins then started to work on my hair and…well there’s not much to say really.

I mean they washed my hair with warm water while putting a particular type of shampoo into my mane, along with giving my mane a little trim and styling it a bit in certain spots. But that’s all there is to go into details with, as all we did was look upon and talk about of memories past.

We laughed at what we had done in the school years ago and just sat there and talked about the good ol’ days that are sadly gone. I mean, even the twins talked and such, which of course as usual, they blurted it out and I got scared and jumped a little.

But other than that, there’s not much detail to go into, but of course what we talked about is of the memories. Now I could go into those details, but that would ruin the fun when I do get to the part about my school days, so really it’s basically not giving you any spoilers if I don’t talk about it. Well, afterwards, they were finished with my hair and I looked into the mirror and I touched it and ran through it with my right hoof.

I then said to her, “Well, that was a great trim. I’ll sure miss you and the twins Snuggles.”

She then looked at me, as I looked at her and she said, “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other one day again, we’re friends, and we will always will be friends, even if we’re miles apart. We will always be friends in our hearts. And one day, we will see each other again Knight.”

We all smiled, even the twins, and I then said as I got up to get my hat and satchel, “Well, that’s the problem. It’s ‘one day.’ That means the troubling part is that I have to wait.”

Snuggle’s giggled a little bit and we smiled, I mean we were good friends after all.

She then told me as I was walking out the door, “I’ll see you on the hill Knight.”

I then left without another word and then headed back to my room. Of course I traced my steps again and went out the front doors as usual and headed around back to the school and went to the tower. The sun was almost set and Luna’s moon looked like it was ready to rise and conquer the sky.

As I went up to the room, I slowly started to see the stars form across the sky, ending a somewhat, but not really perfect day. I then get into my room and Wolf looked like he was depressed, as he was lying on my bed, with a sad face.

I then asked him, “What’s wrong Wolf?”

Wolf then told me with his still frown face on, “I lost the bet Knight.”

And then I asked him, “And you went to Celestia then?”

Wolf then said, “Of fucking course Knight, why do you think I’m sad as shit right now. I had to listen to Celestia lecture about my kind for hours!”

I then told him, “It’s just getting dark Wolf.”

Wolf then said, “Well it fucking felt like hours! Now come on, I need a fucking beer.”

Wolf then got off the bed as he said that and walked towards the door to get to the hill. I then quickly took a few bits that I had lying around on my desk, yes I’m that stupid, but it’s not like I have a wallet…but I do have my satchel though…but it was reserved for other stuff. Anyways, I took the bits to repay back Starlight of course.

I wouldn’t want her to haunt me forever with repaying her, because she could be scary sometimes. I mean, I wouldn’t her to haunt me like invading my Skype…if I had one that is, and she haunts me and a few others and we have to play a game or else we die. And then weird stuff happens and then you question whether or not it was stupid or clever for the rest of your miserable life.

Anyways, I then grabbed the bits, put it in my satchel, and went downstairs while closing the door behind me of course. And yes, I put it in my satchel, where else? And besides, it was only for a few minutes. Wolf wasn’t near and I had guessed he had gotten a good head start. Well, I headed down the spiraling steps and onto the nice green, soft grass. I then headed west, where everything was weird.

I mean in the west, everything is weird, you either get high or die. Anyways, I then went far west. It was still near the school, but a far enough distance to where the school can still be seen far into the distance.

The land was pretty much flat until I saw a little bonfire on the hill they were mentioning about all day and such. The hill wasn’t that steep also, it was climbable, but it certainly jutted out among the rest of the flat land obviously. I should also mention why this hill, because I’m sure some people that’s too busy stabbing someone to death because of the chaos and destruction that the people are causing because I didn’t explain why me and my friends were going to a hill to say our last goodbyes to each other.

You know…those types of people, who assume that I will never explain everything, granted they’re halfway right. I mean I’m going to explain everything in detail, but I’m not going to spend the entire night writing this entry into my journal with five hundred pages that describes what it feels to touch a warm blanket that’s around me while sitting in a chair. No, I’m not going to do that, but every other critic wants that though, as it would create ‘imagery’ and ‘realism.’

Well, as for the hill, it was special amongst us ten…eleven if you counted that one nerd guy, but not really though. We would sometimes hang out at night, to just talk and have fun. Sometimes we would talk until the sun would rise or we would sleep there. It was a nice thing to do and to get away from the school and go someplace else that was special. Not even Celestia or Luna knew about that place, which made it even more special, as it made it look like it as if it was our own secret spot…even though it’s not really a secret, as it is out in the open and on a hill that many could see from a certain spot.

But whatever, it felt special though at least. Granted not everyone would come to the spot all the time at once, but still, it was nice. And we had done this many times in the past as well. So it was nice to say goodbye to my friends at that spot.

In fact, I haven’t been to that spot in so long as the many years have gone by as I am writing this to you. It seems like it was long ago, but yet, it so clear in my head if it had just happened yesterday. Oh well, that’s time for you, time can be a blessing and a curse.

Anyways, I went and climbed the hill and my friends saw me coming.

I got to the top with ease and when I did, Promptos said while holding his beer high in the sky, “Hey Knight! Welcome to your going away party!”

He smiled, along with everyone else there, as I did too. Everyone was there of course, even Wolf as I did mention he did get a head start. Wolf was sitting next to Promptos.

My bro friends were there, sitting side by side. Then the two siblings were sitting next to each other as brother and sister right next to Gladio. Then after that the twins were sitting next to Starlight. Then Snuggles was near me when I had climbed up to the hill and it seemed that she had saved me a spot to sit next to her. So yeah, that’s a way to describe the sitting order around the bon fire, as the bon fire was just a bunch of pile of sticks that was on fire.

It was warm of course and gave a nice glow in the darkness of the night. Although the night sky was lit up a little by the stars and Luna’s beautiful moon. Anyways, I sat next to Snuggles and she smiled a little more when I did and Gladio then handed me or hoofed me a beer by throwing it at me, which I caught with my hooves.

Also, the beer was near Gladio in a little ice chest as well. I should have mentioned that before all the little kids at a daycare center was shot to death because I didn’t explain where the beer came from. What? Oh come on, you not that would happen, where someone would go nuts because I didn’t describe one little thing.

I mean with human nature…it can be a very scary thing if pushed the wrong way. And yes, it would even mean shooting up a daycare center. I know, it’s dark, but that’s life for you. Well, at least for you humans…you guys are crazy…and not the good kind of crazy. I mean the crazy where you go shoot up a daycare center…well I’m sure it happened. People go nuts when something isn’t explained, as they think it’s the end of the world for them. And of course, whoever picks this up and reads it, whatever human he or she is, chances a human would say that was wrong, and oh look…another daycare center for puppies just got shot up…clap, clap, clap mother fucker.

Now that’s out of the way, you may shut up now. Anyways, everyone had a beer…except for Snuggles, she wasn’t the type to get drunk. In fact, she never touched alcohol in her life. As well as Razzle, as she too didn’t have a beer, but Dazzle did because she did drink a little, but not too much. Just one more way to tell them apart from one another.

Anyways, I opened up the bottle with my hoof, and yes, I could that, don’t ask, and took a sip of the beer. It was decent, nothing special of taste. I put the beer down on the ground and sat there.

Gladio then asked me, “So Knight, how was your last day at the school?”

I then told him, “It was ok, although for whatever reason it felt like it went fast. I’m not sure why, but it felt like it went fast. I suppose time flies.”

Then Ig spoke up while adjusting his glasses, “Yes, well time can surely go by quickly if you never paying attention to it. But it will go slow if you count every second as it goes by. That’s the one thing about life that is sad, but we all have to live with it though. And one day, we will all grow old and die and wish we had more time, but time can be cruel that way. As there are many things to do in life, but so little time. So to summarize it all up, Time is a curse to us all, but if you ignore it, it might not be so bad.”

Ig then took a swig from his bottle.

Gladio then spoke up and said, “Well I hope I don’t grow old and die. If I have to choose my death, I would rather go out with a bang. I would rather die in battle then die an old man.”

Clever then spoke up and butted in with, “Well if I ever have to die, I would want my family to kill me off, so at least I die by the hoof of my loved ones. More specifically my little sis here, but then again she is a little scary sometimes.”

Starlight then looked at her big brother and threw a punch at his shoulder.

Clever then said, “Ow.”

Promptos then said, “Well if I ever die, I want to die with my friends at least, we’re friends until the end.”

Then Wolf said to the group, “Well if I die, I want to go out by either jacking off to death or have whoever I’m fucking up the ass kill me. Now that’s a way to go.”
I then said, “Well, If I ever have to die, I would want it to be a quick and painless death. I’ve been through too much in my past to say I want a painful death. In fact, I would want to die first if I had to choose, because it’s more painful to see my friends and other loved ones die first. Then again, who knows, maybe I’ll stick a gun in my mouth in a dirty motel room with my brains all over the wall. That’ll brighten up the place at least. I might even take some pain killers before I do that too. Not to numb the pain, but to get all thoughts out of my head before I would end it all. And I’m sure that the end of the barrel will taste bitter right before I pull the trigger. But I’m sure at that moment, I wouldn’t mind the taste, in fact, I might even put a little smile on my face if I taste it, and have a smile on my face when I blow my brains out.”

Then the twins spoke up both at once as usual, “We don’t want to die!”

Then Snuggles said to everyone around the warm fire, “Can we please stop talking about death, I don’t think it’s such a good subject to talk right now.”

Ig then said to the twins and Snuggles, “Well that’s part of life…especially when you are around us, we do talk about heavy themes every now and then.”

Gladio then said, “Hold on a minute Ig, she’s right. Why are we talking about death and where we would die? We’re here for Knight.”

Gladio then stood up while everyone else was still sitting down and continued to say, “We’re here tonight to honor a good friend of ours that is leaving tomorrow. We are all sadden by this, as he is a dear friend to us all. We had good times, some bad, but we are friends. It is sad to see him leave, yes, but remember he will always remain in our hearts. And who knows, maybe we will see him once again before we all end up in a hole in the ground, either from old age, death in battle, by our loved ones, near our friends, death by masturbation, or even by suicide, who knows how we will all end up in the ground with bugs crawling all over us. We might end up seeing him once more in the future. If not, maybe in heaven if we’re not burning in purgatory. So I say to Knight…we all say to are a true friend…and we will miss you.”

Gladio then moved his head slightly upwards as if he was giving a signal. In which case, everyone grabbed their beer except for Snuggles and Razzle of course, and all stood on their two back legs and holding their beers over the center of the bon fire. I was still sitting down of course as well as Wolf.

I then looked at him and then back at the group. I then stood up as well as Wolf with our beers and joined in with them.

We all held our beers over the center of warm fire as steady as we could, and we all said in unison, except for me of course, I stayed silent, “To Knight!”

Then we all clinked our bottles together and then sat back down. We all took a swig except for the other two mares of course, just reminding so I could prevent a school for bunnies being shot up.

Promptos then said, “Now how about that music Starlight?”

Then Starlight said, “Well I would’ve brought my guitar, but a certain ‘someone’ messed it up earlier today. But thankfully my brother has an acoustic guitar and took lessons instead of wrecking it up.”

She looked at me when she said those very words. As she was saying that though, her brother Clever was getting his guitar that he had behind me and was tuning it up.

After Starlight talked, Clever then said to me, “I’m not even sure how that was possible when you broke that guitar. That was really messed up you know Knight?”

Of course everyone was looking at me when Clever was saying that.

I then said, “Yeah…sorry about that. Although here’s some bits to get a new guitar though.”

I then took the bits out of my satchel and threw it over the fire and at Starlight.

It landed and scattered right in front of her, and as that happened, she said to me, “Oh gee…thanks.”

I’m not sure if she was being sarcastic or being serious, but either way, she was a cold hearted bitch.

Anyways, as she was picking up the bits from the ground, Clever then said before he started playing, “As a going away song to Knight, as we will surely miss him, I would like to play one of his songs that he wrote himself called ‘Night Moves.’ It was actually quite good Knight, very original.”

I then said with a straight face with a bit of shifty eyes though, “Yeah…original…right…I definitely didn’t steal it from someone at all.”

I was looking around to make sure no lawyer popped up to give me a piece of paper that said I was being sued, because those lawyers….they come out of nowhere to just sue you. So I was just standing my ground was all.

Anyways, for those who don’t know, since I was in Equestria, I did play a few songs and called it my own that was made back on Earth. But you know, who wouldn’t do that? It’s a chance to do something and actually become famous. It’s like going back in time before the internet existed and creating the internet. I mean it’s a chance to actually do something.

Who wouldn’t want to do that? Well, Clever then started playing his guitar, and here were the lyrics that I just stole from Bob Seger.

I was a little too tall
Could've used a few pounds
Tight pants points hardly reknown
She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes
And points all her own sitting way up high
Way up firm and high

Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy
Out in the back seat of my '60 Chevy
Workin' on mysteries without any clues
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin' to make some front page drive-in news
Workin' on our night moves
In the summertime
In the sweet summertime

We weren't in love, oh no, far from it
We weren't searchin' for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored
Livin' by the sword
And we'd steal away every chance we could
To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods
I used her, she used me
But neither one cared
We were gettin' our share
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin' to lose the awkward teenage blues
Workin' on our night moves
And it was summertime

And oh the wonder
We felt the lightning
And we waited on the thunder
Waited on the thunder

I awoke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just don't seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in

So yeah…like I said who wouldn’t steal those lyrics and say it was your own in a place that didn’t have that song at all? I mean you have to admit, it was cool.

Anyways, after Clever finished, Wolf and I got up and I said, “Well, I suppose it’s time for me and Wolf to hit the hay. I do have to get up early tomorrow anyways since I do believe it will be around dawn when I have to leave. So Goodbye everyone, I’ll miss you all.”

Then they all said to me, “Goodbye night,”

Or something like that, you know, a farewell. Although Snuggles didn’t say it though, but instead she lightly kissed me on the cheeks and then said goodbye to me as she smiled. I smiled back and I waved my hoof at them and left. I left them as they continued to enjoy their night, and I slowly walked away, as it was my last time seeing them.

Well not really though, but it would be many years before I would ever see them again, but it was sort of my last time seeing them. Me and Wolf eventually got back to the tower, it was a bit of a walk, but we made it there without a problem.

We climbed the steps without a problem and I opened the door to let Wolf in. He went in and I went in last while closing the door behind us.

Wolf then said as he went to his bed and stretching a bit, “Well Knight, I’m tired as fuck. Well, it was nice knowing them and all, but who the fuck cares, right Knight? Knight?”

I was standing by the window, looking at the stars as tears flowed down on my cheek. It was sort of a cool feeling as the tears came from my eyes.
Wolf noticed and he said to me, “Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

Although he had a bit of a smirk on his face as he said that, and I responded as I looked towards him, “I’m crying because I’m going to miss them Wolf. They were great friends and…I’m not sure if I will ever see them again. I know they will always be in my heart, and if they are in my heart, they’re never truly gone, but to me, it’s painful. I mean as I look upon the night sky, it feels like this was my last time seeing them again. Then again I might see them again, but then again it might not be for a reunion or anything like that. Maybe something bad will happen, I don’t know Wolf. I’m just sad that I won’t see them again, I just…I just want to be left alone right now Wolf. Just shut up and go to bed…you pile of fucking sticks.”

Wolf then said to me with a neutral expression, “Nice to know that you’re alright. Well, see you in the morning Knight.”

Wolf then went to bed and slept soundly without a disturbance, as I continued to stand by the window and look at the night sky as the tears continued to come out. I sat there for an hour or so more, couldn’t tell because I wasn’t paying attention to the time at that time. Eventually I wiped the tears from my face with my hooves and went to bed. I too slept soundly without a disturbance, as the days transition to the next.

Morning arose as the sun slowly replaced the moon. The birds weren’t out, as Wolf did kill the birds yesterday morning, so obviously there were no birds. However, the sun didn’t completely rise up, it was still stuck in the middle with the moon, which meant it was basically dawn.

I heard a knock on the door, in which case I yawned and slowly got up. I wasn’t sad anymore of course, because I did fell asleep and didn’t have that thought on my mind about my friends and such. I opened the door and when I did, I saw Celestia and Luna standing in front of the door, while also seeing the amount of daylight that was still outside.

I then asked, “What is it?”

Celestia then said, “It’s time for you to leave Knight. We have your transportation ready.”

They then pointed to a chariot outside on the ground, waiting for me and Wolf to board it and take off. There were also two guards that were pegasi of course, ready to carry the chariot. One was standing straight up and tall, while the other one looked mentally retarded.

I then looked at Celestia and Luna and asked, “Shouldn’t you two be raising the sun and lowering the moon or something?”

Luna then said, “Yes, well…it’ll come up, we just wanted to get you ready to leave is all.”

I then said, “Give us a minute.”

They then nodded happily, in which case I closed the door.

I went to Wolf and shook him up by shaking his back while saying, “Get up you lazy bastard, we have to leave.”

Then Wolf said, “Uhhhhh……fuck school mom, I’m not going. Every kid there makes fun of me…”

I then pushed him some more while saying, “I said get up.”

Wolf then said while still having his eyes closed, “I’ll do it and shoot up the school and kill the kids that made fun of me…just give me five more minutes.”

I then went close to his ears and said, “Wake up!”

Wolf then quickly opened up his eyes and then looked at me.

He then said, “Oh hey Knight…you want to shoot up a school?”

I then said to him, “You have problems…get up, we’re leaving.”

I then went to my desk and started to pack up my things, just my stuff I had on my desk and put it into my satchel. I didn’t worry about the guns so much, as I had it hidden somewhere…somewhere within the walls of course.

I mean I didn’t have the space for it, but no one would really find it though at least.

As I was doing that, Wolf said to me, “Already? I thought I would have had at least some time to myself to jack off before we left.”

I then said to him, “No, now get up, we’re leaving.”

Wolf then got out of his bed and he then said, “Alright then, although I’ll miss jacking off in this place though.”

I finished packing my stuff up and headed to the door and opened it.

Celestia and Luna were a bit confused and asked, “No luggage Knight?”

I then told her as Wolf was right next to me, “Nope, just me, Wolf, and my hat and satchel. Although I’m assuming Wolf is going to have a bed in the place that we’re staying at?”

Celestia then said, “Yes.”

We then started to head down the stairs, in which I then asked as we were moving, “So do you have a list for me or something to check on the celebration preparations?”

Celestia then said, “Actually, yes, it’s on the chariot. Just make sure everything is ready when we arrive in Stalia.”

We then got onto the green grass and walked towards the chariot.

I then asked her one last question, “So, where exactly are we going to stay at anyways?”

As I waited for a response, we got to the chariot, as it wasn’t far from the steps. I saw the piece of paper on the seat and I took it with my magic, fold it up, and put it in my satchel.

Celestia and Luna smiled and Celestia then told me, “Well, I know how much you like books, so we were able to get you a place in the library. You don’t have to worry about paying any bills at all, as we will take care of that. We will also send you money every now and then for food and such. Anyways, goodbye Knight, we will see you at the celebration.”

And then the chariot took off, and as we went away from the ground, I saw Celestia and Luna waving goodbye to me and Wolf. Also, another thing that was bullshit that Celestia thought I had liked books. I don’t know…maybe she was thinking that I was Twilight or something.

Maybe she’s desperate for another Twilight so she’s saying that I like books. Next thing you know, I become a black guy. Eventually we moved into the air and high enough to see the school only from a very far distance. Also, the sun was almost up and such. As we were flying, everyone just kept silent. I had said that one of the guards was mentally retarded or at least looked liked it.

I then asked the normal looking guard as loud as I could since we were in the sky, but not too loud though, “What’s wrong with him?”

I pointed to the retarded guy.

He was able to see who I was talking about and said to me, “He’s just mentally retarded. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we don’t crash and die.”

And then the mentally retarded guard spoke and said, “I put pencils up my butt and farted it out! It was fun!”

I then kept quite through the rest of the ride. Not even Wolf spoke up, although he did jacked off and as he came, the cum kind of flew off the chariot and onto the ground.

I mean who knows, maybe someone got cum on his or her face. We then got to Stalia and the sun was in the sky, so that meant that the ponies of the town were up and about. We landed in the middle of the market place, it wasn’t too busy, but we did. We landed there, but no one bothered to look and ask. They kept to their own business and such.

Once the chariot stopped, Wolf and I got off, in which case I said to the guards, “Thanks for the ride.”

Then the normal guard said, “You’re welcome.”

Then they took off…and crashed into a nearby mountain and died as the retarded one kind of took control and pretty much killed them. Who knows, maybe if it was an airplane, at least a hundred and fifty souls wouldn’t blame the retarded one. In fact, they would say it would be alright.
Anyways, we were in Stalia now, and now here is when things sort of but not really though gets interesting…but not really though because who gives a fuck, right?

Anyways, after we saw the chariot somewhat crash in the far distance, I said to Wolf, “So then…it looks like we’re here to start a new beginning…with new friends…”

Wolf then said, “Yeah…a new start…sounds like a name of a shitty chapter to a story that had over long introductions to characters that doesn’t show anything about the character and poorly explains things. Only one guy that is Asian seems to like it too. And has poor word and grammar choices too.”

I then said to him back, “Do you mean a chapter title with ‘New friends and new beginnings?’ Yeah that does sound shitty to me. It also sounds so shitty that everything else also sucks.”

Wolf then said, “I know right?”

All of a sudden, a green-ish pony came walking up to us. He had a neon green type of color for his coat color, with a wooden toaster type of mane color and style, but with a bit more style to it and darker colors…or maybe lighter, couldn’t tell. His cutie mark also was a bunch of neon glow sticks. His eye color had a neon color to it too.

He had a creepy, but yet ok looking smile on his face, as he was trotting towards us. We saw him and waited to see what would happen, but when he got close enough to us, where you would think he would stop and talk, he just immediately turned around and trotted back from where he came with the same smile that he had while walking towards us.

I then said to Wolf as the green pony was trotting away, “That was weird.”

Wolf then said, “So how about we look at that checklist now.”

Then I said to him, “Yeah, maybe we should look at it while under a tree, I don’t know why, but we should.”

Then Wolf pointed right next to us and said, “Why not use that tree that’s right next to us?”

Apparently we were right next to a tree that was in the middle of the market place, that had a patch of green grass around it along with a rock circling the green grass.

I then said to Wolf, “Oh.”

We then went to the tree that wasn’t far then ten or so feet from us. I sat down under it while Wolf sat next to me. I used my magic and took the piece of paper that Celestia gave me for the preparations for the celebration.

I sat down and reviewed it with Wolf.

In other words, I said to him, “Alright then. It looks like we have to go and check on a few. We need to check for the food service, so it would be like an Applejack like location, like in the show. Next, we will need to check on the decorations, then check on the music. That’s it…just three things. I’m not even sure how she would have thought I would meet the other ponies that she had in the file that you gave me.”

Wolf then said, “I’m surprised that she hasn’t figured out that the files are gone.”

Then out of nowhere, although not literally this time around, the pony with the neon green coat color came back to us, but he still didn’t say a word. Instead, he sniffed me, licked inside my ears, took my measurement, looked deeply into my eyes, and pretty much just examined me. Then he left once more.

I then said, “I wonder if he is part of the ponies I’m supposed to meet.”

Wolf then asked me, “Why not check it? You have the files with you, right?”

I then said to him, “Yeah, but I’m too lazy.”

I then got up from under the tree, as Wolf did too, in which I then said to him, “To the apple farm I suppose.”

Then we walked to the apple farm that was part of Stalia. Of course I didn’t know the town at the time, but we just took a big fucking guess and it was somewhere near the outside of Stalia town limits. I mean it is a farm after all. It needs a lot of land.

Well, we found it, as it was a big ass farm. A farm that was filled with apple trees and nothing more. So this pony we were supposed to meet along with the celebration checklist was going to be the Applejack of this town. We walked deep within the farm, passing many apple trees, and eventually came across the house. I didn’t see anyone around, other than a little boy that was just playing with some rocks on the ground in the distance.

He had a black coat color with a light blue-ish mane color that was a bit spiky in certain areas. He looked lonely and such. He didn’t notice me or anything, he just kept to himself, but it’s not like I cared or anything. Well, we got close to the front porch of the house, and then the door opened with a pony that had a white coat color. Ok it wasn’t a compete white, it was like a dirty white color, like if it was an old Super Nintendo console, because those things don’t age well. Like it had a hint of yellow added to the white to make it a bit dark or something like that. He also seemed to have had a dark brown mane color, but I couldn’t tell because he was wearing a trucker hat on, as he always did have it on. As for the hat color, it was a blue color.

He also had a cutie mark with some apples on it. Well, he didn’t have any messed up teeth, so I was for sure he wasn’t from the deep south where everyone is pretty much everyone’s cousin…and commits insist. In other words, the state of Kentucky..and Kansas…don’t forget Kansas.

Well, he came out while drinking a beer with somewhat of an annoyed look on his face.

Once he came out, he then asked us, “What the fuck do you two want? Are you working for Applejack?”

I then said to him, “Umm…no…no I’m not. We’re here to check on the food for the celebrations.”

And then he quickly ran to us, no longer having the annoyed look on his face, but just wide eyes and a bleak expression across his face.

He then got near us and quickly asked, “Do you know anything about Applejack whatsoever?”

I then asked him while pushing him back a little, since he was a little close and all, “Why do you keep asking about Applejack?”

He then said, “Well you see, I’m Applejack’s cousin…and I hate that bitch. Ever since that day, we’ve been at war with each other and frankly I hope she dies.”

I then asked him, “What happened with you two?”

He then said, “Well you see, one day I noticed that one of my pigs were gone and I knew that orange bitch had took it. She always been eyen that pig, so I knew she stole that pig of mine. So I went over here and asked for my pig back, but she kept saying no and that I had just got drunk one night and killed it and made a sacrifice to some demonic thing called Satan because I had found a weird book while dunk called ‘How to summon Satan’ and I decided to try it out. I knew she was just lying, even though she kept telling me it happened and she was there when I did it, so I argued, and we got into a fight. Well, she mostly bucked me a few times, but I punched her back, but then her big brother Big Mac came up to me and pretty much kicked my ass. She then told me a week later that I was supposedly shunned and disowned from the Apple family. But I know that lying bitch is lying, so I am determined to bring that whore down however I can, even if it means killing my little brother Shadow over there.”

He then pointed to his that little kid I saw earlier.

The pony then said, “Speaking of my little brother...HEY SHADOW!”

Shadow then looked up to the pony, and then the pony threw the empty beer bottle at him and hit him in the head.

Then the southern pony, which by the way, he talked in a southern accent, said, “He’ll be fine. By the way, my name is Mac Farmer, for your information, the food is going very well.”

Mac then point to a pile that was nearby that were apples…and it was filled with bugs and flies and such, along with the apples being rotten.
Mac then said, “Yup, so much better than Applejack’s shitty apples. So, one last question for you…do you like Applejack or do you hate her?”

I then thought for a moment, and judging from what he did to his little brother, I had to carefully think about my answer.

I then said to him, “I am undecided?”

Mac then say, “Well, at least you didn’t say you liked her, or else I had to stab you. But if you decide that you hate her, come on by, I have a resistance to kill her and to show her that she’s fucking with the wrong pony.”

Then said, “Uh huh….well can I ask you this…is it just you and your brother or are you alone?”

Mac then said, “Nope, we have our Pa…he’s just lying on the couch is all.”

I then asked, “So he’s sleeping?”

Mac then said, “Nope, he’s been there for the past ten years. So just remember if you need anything apple related come to me..and don’t go to Applejack if you know what’s good for you…”

He had said that last part real slow and creepy like as well. He also went back inside slowly and kept an eye on as us as we slowly left the farm as well.

We eventually got off the farm and I then said to Wolf, “That was odd, but yet, I really don’t care. So the next stop is decorations then.”

We then headed off the farm to the decorations, which the pony was supposed to be working on in the city hall building, as that was where the celebration was going to take place. It took us a while, and by that time, it was around noon, as the sun was high the sky, so we had a little more time before it would have gotten dark and such.

We got back into town and barely anyone was around…which was weird, but really who cares, it was like in the show and it was history repeating itself…in a certain way. We were walking to city hall, as I was assuming it was in the center of the town, until a red pony came crashing into us. We didn’t get hurt or anything, or even get mud on us…unlike Twilight. When we got hit, Wolf and I were on the ground, a bit dazed and such.

We were on the ground, Wolf on top on me, but we got up as Wolf got up and off of me first. I then got up and saw the red pony that crashed into us. He was a Pegasus, which by the way, Mac was an Earth pony, while that green pony that we met was an Earth pony as well. Well, the pony that crashed into us had a red coat color, he had a fire colored mane, and the style was spiky with a bit more class to it than what Rainbow Dash had. His cutie mark was also a cloud and a fire streak right next to it. I put my hoof out and the red pony saw it and reached for it.

He then got up from the ground, and as he did so, he looked a little ashamed as to what he had done and said to me, “Sorry about that, I’m trying to fly, but as you saw, it hasn’t been going so well lately.”

I then told him, “Well it could be worse, you crash a lot like Rainbow Dash.”

He then looked surprised as to what had just said, and he then looked at me and asked me, “You know Rainbow Dash?”

I then said to him, “Yeah, so what? You hate her or something?”

He then said, “No…not at all, in fact, I love her. I just never seen her in pony is all.”

He then was silent for a few seconds, until he asked me, “Is she cool?”

I then said, “A little bit…”

He then told me, “I’ve heard she wants to go into the Wonder bolts, so I’m trying to fly like her so I can get in too, but I still need some practice though. I’m sorry, where are my manners? Hi, my name is Forrest Fire, nice to meet you.”

He then gave me his hoof, in which I responded with shaking his hoof as well.

He then started to hover with his wings and he said, “Well, I have to go now…need to practice some more, I’ll see you around I guess.”

He then flew away to fly some more, in which case, me and Wolf didn’t say a single word and we continued towards city hall. Eventually we made it. It looked like the same in the show with a few differences here and there…but nothing to lose sleep over though. Well, we entered through the front door and went inside. The interior wasn’t anything special as nothing seem to have been put up as far as decoration go. I mean it was completely empty. Anyways, we walked into the center of the building, and of course, like in the show, it was a big circle thing type of room.

Anyways, and standing in the center of the room was a grey pony with a black colored mane that had a rough style to it, but with a hint of a gentlecolt added to it. He was wearing a black coat, the gentlecolt coat type thingy, along with a suit for a cutie mark. He was holding something in his hands, a piece of paper, and he was looking mighty pissed.

I could hear him mumbling to himself, “Son of a fucking bitch, those critics giving me a point five out of ten (.5/10) for my work. Who the fuck do they think they are? I’m going to find where they live and cut off their balls and feed it to their family while skinning their cats alive. Then I’ll set their house on fire and eat their kids alive in front of them while raping their wives…those son of a …”

I then cut him off and then asked him, “Excuse me, but are you supposed to be putting the decorations up?”

Then the pony looked towards me with a confused expression while still holding the paper up and he then said, “Huh? Oh sorry…didn’t hear you come in.”

The pony then had put the paper in his jacket, in which case I asked him, “What were you reading?”

Then he had told me, “Oh…it was just a couple of critics review about the work that I make. Apparently they say my work doesn’t have any ‘detail.’ They say my work is just an outline. WELL MY FUCKING WORK IS NOT A FUCKING OUTLINE! IT’S A FUCKING GOOD PIECE OF FUCKING ART, THEY FUCKING KNOW IT, THOSE STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS WOULDN’T KNOW FUCKING ART EVEN IF IT GOT SHOVED UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES WHILE FUCKING A MONKEY UP A TREE WHILE A BULL SHARK GOES AND RAPE THEIR CATS WHILE A BROOM KILLS THEIR KIDS! I’m sorry…where are my manners, my name is Classy Jack…but you can just call me Jack…”

He then put his left hoof forward, in which case I put my right hoof out and shook his hoof. After that, we put our hooves down and such and we continued to talk.

I then asked him, “So, I’m guessing when you said something about manners, I suppose you try to be the most gentle-like-colt that you can be without getting angry like that?”

Jack then responded with, “Oh no…I mean I do try to act classy when I can, but most of the time I’m just a douche bag.”

I then had a bit of a surprised look on my face and asked, “You admit it?”

Then Jack said, “Yeah sure, why not, but I did say I try to be classy and proper sometimes, but only when I feel like it and can remember it. Other than that, I’ll fucking rip your throat out if you try and criticize my work, but I’m assuming you’re not a critic because you don’t look like a fucking asshole.”

Of course Wolf was the asshole, but he didn’t look like an asshole, that’s because he doesn’t admit it.

Jack then asked me, “So, what can I do you for?”

Of course he was still standing there and not working on the decorations, thought I make the clear before anyone gets confused that he was actually doing something. Why do I think that?

Because a forest fire could have been started due to the chaos…that would engulfed a orphanage for cats.

Anyways, I asked Jack, “Yes, well I’m from Cantorlot and….”

Jack cut me off and had an exciting look in his eyes and told me, as he kind of got really close to my face, “You’re from Cantorlot!? Tell me…how does it feel to live among the rich? How does it feel to be loved for what you do?”

Then I pushed him back so I could get my personal space and told him, “I come from Celestia’s school, so I really don’t live among the rich. Second of all, I’m not that loved either, so really fuck off.”

Jack then looked disappointed and said, “Oh…well continue what you were saying then.”

I then continued to say, “Yes…well, I’m from Cantorlot and Princess Celestia has sent me to check on the decorations for the celebration for later tonight, but it seems you have not done anything yet. May I ask why despite me not caring that you didn’t?”

Jack then said, “Well I’ve been looking at that review for the past twenty-one hours…and thinking of all the terrible things I would do to those critics…”

Then I told him, “You have scary problems…don’t you?”

Then Jack said to me with a straight and serious face, “Do I? Or do the critics have a scary problem? Because those mother FUCKERS CAN GO FUCKING FUCK THEMSELVES WITH AN ALLIGATOR SHITTING ON THEIR BALLS WHILE THEY HAVE A….”

Then I started to ignore him and what he was saying, in which I said to him, “Yeah…I’m going to leave now…good luck with your scary problems…”

Then me and Wolf left the building, while Jack continued on to rant and rant about his problems with the critics. Although I don’t entirely blame him though…because some can be real assholes…at least some that is.

Well, we went out of the building, and as we were walking Wolf said to him “Alright then, I do believe we have one more, right?”

Then I said to him, “Yup, we just need to check on the music for the celebration.”

As we were the walking, Celestia’s sun was setting, so it was getting somewhat late. So, we then headed to…well actually, we didn’t know where we needed to go.

In fact, Wolf had asked me, “So…how we supposed to check on the music then?”

I then said to him, “I’m not sure…maybe we should…”

Then we heard faint music coming from somewhere.

We had our ears out and we wondered where it would be from, in which case, I then said, “What is that noise coming from?”

Wolf then said, “It sound like a bunch of dying giraffes…”

I then looked at him, stared at him, and thought, ‘Idiot…that doesn’t like a bunch of dying giraffes…it would sound more or less of an art form, that music that may or may not be coming from birds.’

I then said to Wolf after eyeing him for a bit, “Let’s just follow where the music is coming from.”

And so we did, and the music took us to a little part in an area on a trail. Eventually we found the source of the music, and we saw a pony that had a coat color between a light orange and a tan. His mane was a good looking brown color, while his hair style reminded me of what Bradley cooper had, but yet, it didn’t make him look like a total douche bag in certain ways. He was also wearing a green vest that looked like what Daring do would where and a nice looking white hat.

Like…I’m not sure what type of hat it was, so here comes the fun part kids…adults…whatever you guys are…it’s imagination time…and not the gay kind either…the one that homosexuals think about…I’m talking about the one where you use your head, which seems to me that not many use today, but it’s cool, as long as you don’t go nuts, you’ll be fine.

I know it’s hard to understand what I’m saying, but use your imagination. And yes…you can use the color green, it’s full range, no restrictions, so use your imagination as to what the hat might have looked like. I’ll give you a moment to think. You’re done yet? Is it better than being told what it looked like and having no fun at all? No? Well I don’t blame you…I blame Obama. Well, if he is still around that is, maybe he’s dead in a hole in Kenya where people run over him in sign of respect because Kenyans can run very fast…and I’m sure he’s a Kenyan.

Also, he had a wolf for a cutie mark. Anyways, he was hovering off the ground and using his hooves to conduct a row of signing birds. In fact, he was doing somewhat of a decent job at it too. The music was sounding great. In fact, it sounded more better than it was in the show, it felt like a beautiful orchestral piece that words cannot express how amazing it was to hear and it would make you cry too.

Well, the pony was conducting the music while all the birds were all in tune, until one messed up and was out of tune. The pony had heard it and soon stopped moving his hooves, but the song continued to play. The pony picked a decently large rock up from the ground and threw it at the bird that was out of tune, as the bird was on the right end of the branch that all the birds were on while singing.

The pony hurled the rock at the bird that was blue that was out of tune, but the bird dodged it and ducked. The music went silent and all the birds were looking at the bird that dodged the rock.

The pony then slowly hovered towards the blue bird and asked, “Do you know why I just hurled a rock at your head? It could have been worse, I could have hurled a chair at your head. In fact, I wish there was a chair that I could hurl at you. Why do you think I want to hurl a chair at your head Mr. Blue Bird?”

The bird looked nervous, but all it did was just chirp.

The pony got closer to the bird and then said, “Let me ask you this? Do you think you were out of tune?”

The bird chirped, as if it said ‘I don’t know.’

Then the pony asked him, but with a bit more louder tone, “Were you out of tune!?”

The bird chirped again, in which case, the pony then yelled at the bird, WERE YOU OUT OF TUNE OR WERE YOU NOT!!?”

The bird chirped again, but this time the pony seemed to have been more angry and then said after breaking a branch that was near on the tree and trying to hit the blue bird with, “WERE YOU FUCKING OUT OF FUCKING TUNE YOUR ASS EATING BITCH OF A FUCKING WHORE!!!?”

Then the bird chirped even louder than before, but this time, the bird’s answer seemed to have calmed down the pony.

The pony then asked calmly, “Are you upset?”

Then the bird chirped.

The pony then asked with a little more tone, “I can’t hear you…”

The bird chirped again.

The pony then acted in response, “I can’t fucking hear you!”

Then the bird chirped even louder, in which the pony said once more, “SAY IT OUT LOUD SO EVERY MOTHER FUCKING BIRD CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!”

Then the bird chirped as loud as it could, in which case, yes…yes every bird heard his chirp. The bird was afraid and had its eyes closed, as it was afraid what was going to happen next.


The bird sat there, shocked at what he had heard.


The bird just continued to look at the pony with its beak open in shock. The pony looked annoyed, in which case, he went all out and picked up the bird with his hooves and started to abuse the bird.

He had punched and ripped the head off, afterwards, throwing the two body parts to the ground.

He then went back into his original position as conductor and looked at all the birds and asked them in a nice, calm voice, “So…does anyone have a problem right now? No one? Good, now let’s take it from the top.”

I then finally spoke up and asked the pony, “Do you do that to everyone of your animals?”

The pony looked towards me with an odd look, in which case he came down and landed on all four hooves.

He then came up to me, with a hint of a smirk on his face and told me, “Well only if they misbehave a bit. What’s up? Haven’t seen you around.”

I then told him, “Well I just moved in and such and I have been sent by Princess Celestia to make sure the music is in check for the celebration tonight. I’m guessing it’s going smoothly?”

The pony said, “Well, ju…oh shit…get down!”

Then the pony dragged me and Wolf into a nearby bush. We then had our eyes peeking through the bush once we got settled inside the bush and we could get ourselves together. I then saw a squirrel quickly run by to where we were, look around, and then run away.

We then got out the bushes and then I asked him, “What was that about?”

Then the pony responded with, “Just a squirrel that I’ve been trying to capture for many years…ever since I was a child, it mocked me just by eating a nut…but that squirrel…one day…one day I’ll kill and hurl a chair at his entire family.”

Then there was a pause.

The pony the said, “Well, just a bit of technical difficulties is all. That was the seventh bird I killed this week that couldn’t sing in tune, but it’ll be alright, I can just breed another one. By the way, my name is Arrell (Ah-well), don’t ask why. I’ll see you around I guess. By the way, nice Timber Wolf…they normally kill ponies around here.”

Wolf then spoke up and said to Arrell, “Well I’m not the killing type. I’m more of the raping/having sex type of Timber Wolf.”

Arrell then was shocked and had his jaw hang down from his mouth. He was surprised that the timber wolf actually talked.

He then said, “Om my god…it can talk…meh…I’ve seen better. But it is interesting though…how does it talk?”

He had looked at me when he had said that. Also, by the way, he had talked in a hint of an Australian accent a little.

I responded to him and told him, “Magic…”

He then nodded and then said, “I understand everything now…now as for talking timber wolf…”

Wolf then spoke up and said, “The name’s Wolf just to let you know that I have name…and he’s Knight just in case you cared a little.”

Arrell then said, “Yes…whatever you say…can I ask how does it feel to be made of nothing but wood?”

I Then looked at Wolf and quietly told him, “Let’s go to the library.”

Then we were off, as Arrell followed us on the way, asking weird, but yet truthful questions about Wolf that Wolf never answered. We eventually made it to the library, although it took a little while to get there, but we made it as the sun was just about to set and such outside in the sky.
When we got to the door, I made sure the door was unlocked, because I wasn’t given a key or anything like that, by just pushing down on the door handle, as it was one of those door handles.

I then turned my attention towards Arrell, after he asked one last question and told him, “Please fuck off good sir…and have a wonderful day.”

I then opened the door and Wolf went in first, in which I went in and closed and locked the door behind with Arrell behind left out. When we had went in, everything was dark, and I could only see Wolf’s glowing eyes, but yet could feel a presence within the library.

I asked Wolf, “Why are the lights turned off?”

Wolf then told me, “Well this is a library, who uses a library anymore?”

I then told him, “I think you’re over thinking that part a little too much…”

Wolf then said to me, “I’m pretty sure libraries are like ancient buildings to the young generation back on Earth.”

I then said to him back, “Well they are way too dependent on technology, so you may have a point there. And it’s not like they watch ‘Don’t hug me, I’m scared 4’ and learn a lesson or anything like that. They don’t want to think like that. They just want Mountain Dew and Doritos.”

Wolf then asked me, “Is that really a thing?”

I then told him, “Only if they go MLG, then yeah.”

Then the lights came on and what we saw in front of us were the ponies that I saw today, the green pony, Mac, Forest, Arrell, and Jack. They all had….well smiles…kind of. The green pony was the only one that had a smile on, while Mac had a disgruntled look, while Forest looked like he was trying to smile, although not sure, and Jack and Arrell had somewhat decent smiles.

The green pony yelled out once he had turned the lights on, “Welcome back Knight!”

I then noticed a banner that said ‘Welcome Back Knight.’

I was confused as to why that was there, but it wasn’t important though at the moment, so I just continued to concentrate my attention towards everyone else in the room.

The green pony went up to me and quickly shook my hoof and said, “Hi, I’m Neon Party, and I threw this party just for you! And I killed a bunch of ponies just for you!”

Then Neon pointed towards a pile of dead bodies within the corner of the living room.

I then said, “Thanks. Is this right place? Is this the library?”

I had asked that because there were no books to be seen around.

Neon then said with a continuous smile and pointed me in the right direction, “Sure is Knight! There’s a little room around the stairs that has all the books.”

Well, I should describe this place before all the schools in the world get shot up by mildly annoyed people. When you walk through the front door, it’s the living room, with the kitchen to the back right and to the near left was sort of a dining area.

And in the middle was a staircase that led upstairs that had a railing on a wall to the left. The left side of the staircase was blocked off by a white wall, while the right side was completely open until half way up. On the left side of the stairs, to the right of the dining room was a decent sized room that was filled with books, a chair, a fire place, and a record player along with a candle if needed. Of course, the wall that was separating the living room and the dining room was big enough, it seems as if it could fit a door that could lead to some kind of basement or something. Anyways, I just prevented all the schools on Earth from being shot up…now where’s my money? No…well then screw you then.

Anyways, after Neon had showed me what I was asking, I had said, “Great…why are you all in my house right now?”

Neon the said to me, “Because it’s a party!”

Then I asked, “Why only them, and how did Arrell get in here so quick, I just saw him not too long ago outside.”

Arrell then told me, “I kind of broke through your kitchen window quickly.”

Neon then told me, “I invited everypony else, but they said they were scared as I went close to them with a knife and slowly gutted them out to make a fresh batch of cupcakes for this party, as they were saying no…so I killed over thirty kids, twenty-one adults, and fifteen seniors. By the way, you want a cupcake…they’re delicious.”

I shook my head no slowly, in which case, Neon then took out a cupcake from nowhere and then told me, “Well suit yourself.”

He then ate the cupcake whole and then said while chewing, “That’s some good intestines.”

He then swallowed it in a single gulp.

Neon then said to me as he went towards a closet in the living room area, “But I was able to get some other ponies for the party.”

Neon then opened the closet door, and a bunch of old, dusty pony skeletons came pouring out of it and into a pile of bones.

Neon then said, “Now it’s a party!”

Then the skeletons magically got up and went into various positions where they would sit on the couch or at a poker table that just magically appeared by Neon. Oh, and how could I forget, Jack was a unicorn while Arrell was a Pegasus, why did I forget?

Well, it isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Anyways, there were like twenty-one skeletons or so I think, but couldn’t really count it.

Well, Neon then announced, “Now let’s have a party everypony!”

And then everyone just went their separate ways. Jack and Arrell went to the poker table and started to play poker with the skeletons, Forrest was just standing in the middle of the room, wondering what he should do, and Mac was sitting on the couch drinking beer with the skeletons.

As for the other skeletons, they were either dancing with Neon, and yes, they were dancing, or they were in other places around the first floor of the library home. Of course Neon was dancing to music with the skeletons, but it was really slow and creepy music with a creepy violin tone added to it.

I went up to Forest and asked him, “So why are you just standing there?”

Forrest looked at me and said, “Well, I’m just not sure what to do. I mean it’s not like this is the first time this has happened, but I just guess it’s just that you’re our new friend is all and it’s kind of weird.”

I then asked him, “Wait…this has happened…what do you mean your new friend? I mean I can understand that we can become friends…or more like will…but this soon?”

Forrest then said, “Well Neon told us you made friends with him and a friend of Neon is a friend with us.”

I then stood there with an odd look and said, “Huh…well, this has happened before?”

Then Jack butted in and said to me while holding his cards while playing poker, “Yup, although honestly we just go with it. It’s kind of fun if you just don’t think about it too much.”

Then Jack went back to playing poker, and which case I then decided to talk to Neon, in which case he was dancing with the skeletons. They were weird skeletons, but yet cool.

I went up to him and Neon noticed me and he said to me, “Hey Knight! How’s our new friend doing?”

I then asked him, “Can I ask why skeletons?”

Then Neon put a hoof on me and said, “Why not…these skeletons are the life of the party! They just came out of your closet! Show them what you mean fellas!”

Then the skeletons then turned their heads all toward me, then one with a brown cowboy hat grabbed out a guitar from nowhere and started playing a tune. The skeletons then started to sing and the lyrics were:

We’re the singing skeletons,
We don’t work or fight,
We just want to party,
All night and day
Oh hi
Oh hi!
Oh low
Oh low!
When the tumbleweeds are rolling through town
When the kids are scared out of their beds
You know what’s coming to you
As we’re the singing skeletons
Oh hi
Oh hi!
Oh low
Oh low!
We’re the signing skeletons

Then they went back to being dead.

Neon then looked at me with a creepy smile, in which case I then said, “I’m going upstairs to my room and get some sleep. You can stay here if you want Wolf, I really don’t care.”

Wolf then stayed behind while I headed upstairs.

When I left, Wolf looked at Neon and he then asked him, “Can I have sex with that cupcake…rape it I mean?”

Neon then said with a smile while giving him a cupcake, “Sure, there’s plenty to go around!”

Wolf then received the cupcake and smiled at it…and slowly licked his lips as some of the intestines slowly came out. Well after that…you really don’t want to know what happens afterwards.

Anyways, I headed upstairs, and to describe the second floor of the library, although there was an attic, but I didn’t go up there, but for now let me describe the second floor before there is a nursery rhyme about the day when the world went nuts and shot up all the schools because I didn’t describe something. Well, once you get to the top of the steps, there was just a right turn, and it was just a narrow hallway with four rooms. One was my room, one was a guest room, one was a bathroom, and another one was the door that led to the attic. The guest room was empty except for just a bed, a blanket, a pillow, and a chair facing the bed along with a creepy clown doll sitting in the chair.

That and strangely enough, a creepy looking Mickey Mouse doll sitting on the bed looking at the clown. Which by the way, when I was exploring the second floor and saw the stuff, I looked into the room, I saw the two things, and they turned their heads at me and looked at me. Was I startled, a little bit, but I just closed the door, but strangely enough though, they disappeared after that and every once and a while they come back, but once they leave, I find the closet door to be open in that room. It’s weird.

The bathroom was…a bathroom, while the door leading to the attack was just a staircase that led to the attic obviously. As for where they were placed, my room was on the first left, guest room first right, bathroom on the second left, and the door leading to the attic was on the second right, with nothing being at the end, so I could either put a picture, a table, a mirror that may or may not kill me or something like that.

Anyways, I went into my room and everything seemed to have been made for my arrival. I just had to decorate it with whatever I desired is all. When I walked in, I noticed a hat rack nearby and just put it there and there was a dresser there, so I put my satchel there as well. There was also a bathroom in my room too, a decent sized one, so the one out in the hallway was basically for the guest.

Anyways, I was sort of tired since I was out all day, meeting the ponies, so I immediately got into my bed, not caring about getting under the covers or not. I had noticed as I was going to my bed, that Wolf’s bed was there on the left side when I’m not in the bed…well the point of view that is.
I mean when I’m in the bed, it’s on the right side of me and…fuck it, you know what I’m talking about. Well, I slowly closed my eyes and started to drift away into dream land.

It was quite peaceful and felt like a lullaby was playing in my head like a child, and it slowly put a smile on my face and started to think of peaceful thoughts. Granted, I wasn’t thinking about my friends back in school, I didn’t have time to think about that as I had new ‘friends’ to worry about and wondering if it would work out like it was back in school. Would I cry if they left me, or would I have a small feeling inside that said that this was going to be a great thing and have fun times or adventures together when I think about who we were and what we could do together along where we stood in this town or world, depending on how you view it and think about it real hard.

That or wonder if the friendship would actually exist…or is friendship is a lie. That’s the thing, I’m not sure if friendship is the truth or the lie in life, it always seems to be so blurry when I’m trying to figure out that answer. Anyways, eventually, it was around four in the morning, almost time for the celebration to start and such, well actually, now that I recall, it was three in the morning.

Wolf had came up stairs and opened the door and said to me as I was still sleeping, “Hey Knight, get up you lazy shit, it’s time to get to the celebration!”

I then slowly opened my eyes, not being startled by his yelling voice, but perhaps it was because of the peaceful dream that I was having.

I slowly got out of the bed and asked him, “So Wolf, what do you think about history repeating itself and being friends with these guys?”

Wolf then said, “Well, they’re certainly not the guys back at the school, but I like them. I think we’re going to get along with them just fine and have just amazing and awesome adventures just like at school, except it would be like the show except a little more awesome.”

I then told Wolf, “You know, if you were to say that back on Earth in a room filled with Bronies, they would kick ass just for saying that sentence.”

Wolf then told me, “Nah, they’re a bunch of pussies so they wouldn’t fight back, now let’s get going.”

I then told him, “Whatever.”

Then we headed downstairs and the skeletons were gone and the place was cleaned up. The front door was opened, and the group was outside waiting for us. We went downstairs, went outside, as I closed the door behind me, and we headed out to city hall. We all went there in a group, nothing interesting happened, but we made it and it seemed that everyone in town was there. We made our way to the balcony where Celestia would show up, but I would assume it would be Celestia’s evil clone.

Well, we waited and waited, until the mayor who was a mare showed up…or guy…couldn’t exactly tell his gender just by looking at him.
He or she went up to the microphone that was out and said, “Ladies and Gentlecolts, welcome to the Summer Sun Celebration. We are honored that Stalia, and not Ponyville, is able to host the celebration, so without a further ado, here’s Princess Celesrtia.”

Then the mayor moved out of the way for the Princess as some guards were around to make sure everything was in check and no harm would come to the princess. However, no pony came, but instead, a strange light came through one of the top windows of city hall, in which case, appeared Celestia’s evil clone.

She looked like Celestia, except for her mane, which was completely flames. Oh…and she looked pissed. She looked evil as shit and had an evil grin across her face, while everyone was either mildly ok with this or was shocked within the audience.

The mayor then said, “Who…who are you? You don’t look like Celestia? Guards, seize her!”

Then one of the guards said to the mayor, “But we don’t take orders from you, you’re not the princess.”

Then the evil clone started to speak and she said, “Ponies, do not fear me, for I only want one thing, your Princess Celestia, as she has forgotten me. You do not know who I am, and that is ok, I suppose she never bothered to say anything about me! But that’s ok, I’ll find her…and I’ll kill her for forgetting me on the moon, and then I shall rule this land in my own way!”

I then said out loud, “That’s not much of an intro!”

She then eyed at me and then jumped down from a balcony where she landed when she had arrived and got close to me.

She then asked me, “And please, may I ask how do you know me?”

Then I said, “Well, I never said anything about knowing you, but ok then. Well, Celestia didn’t tell me directly about this, but I kind of took some files of hers and found information about you.”

She then said, “Oh really now, well, perhaps once I kill your precious princess, you could perhaps be at my side when I rule since you know who I am, and that’s more that can be said than anypony else in Equestria. So, I shall find her myself, for she must be around here somewhere!”

Then she turned into a bright fire like mist and started to search for her throughout the town. Then the ponies that were actually worried about this started to panic or rabel amongst themselves.

I then looked at my friends as they were near me of course, and then said, “Alright then, I know how to fix this problem…and…”

Wolf then cut me off and he asked me, “How did Celestia and Luna expected us to figure out how to stop her evil clone?”

I then said to Wolf, “I’m not sure, maybe she would have expected me to remember what Twilight went through and such and somehow take that as an idea.”

I then returned my attention back to the group and said, “Alright then, as I was saying, to fix this, we need to go through…”

We then magically reappeared on the edge of the Everefree Forest, “The Everfree Forest…”

To Be Continued…but not really though….

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Now back to your shitty life on FIMfiction!

Previously…on My Little Pony…Universal Magic, the doctor is desperately trying to save his patient in time, but will he make and save…the black president? Then there was a bunch of random explosions, a love triangle, so who will rape whom? Then someone is trying to diffuse a bomb and giant robot titties…explosions…oh fuck it….here’s the continuation of the episode and shut the fuck up….


You know what, I have lied about many things now. Some things were obvious, while others you actually believed in.

For example, I lied about the technology in Equestria. There is some technology, but not that much though to be almost advanced with Humans, but there is a quite a bit of technology.

As for having no friends while I was at Celestia’s school, that was a lie too. I was quite popular during my school days… and I did have other friends other then Wolf while I was there.

Now, as for anything else that I have lied about, I’ll tell you about that along the way as we move on with my life’s story.

Now, the one thing I thought I was going to get away with was when my newly found friends and I went through the Everfree Forest, when I first went to Stalia and Celestia wanted me to make more friends.

Well, that part was also a lie. However, the first half of that chapter was true, but the second half with the forest was complete bullshit. For one thing, I do know what elements that we represent and what the name is and how it was all created.

Well, I don’t know why I lied about it, but I just did. However, my friends have looked in this book, and they were bugging me to actually tell you the truth of what really happened.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3.5: The Elements of Protection

For one thing, they were not pussys when they entered the Everfree Forest. In fact, they had no emotions, whatsoever towards it. However, being magically poofed there, and no one noticing it, that part was not bullshit.

In fact, I still don’t understand why or even how that happened in the first place. However, let us get back to what really happened that night. Those magical poof things happen, and we were standing right on the edge of the Everfree Forest.

However, instead of my friend being complete pussies about going into the Forest, they had that ok expression on their faces. While we were standing there, Jack said, “Wow. The Everefree Forest. It feels like a long time since we’ve been here.”

I then asked jack, “What do you mean?”

Then Jack said, “Well, before you came here, we were always friends, although the origins for that is a whole another story in itself. However, we always played near and inside the forest. We had quite fond memories I must admit.”

Then Arrell walked away for a bit and came up to a pile of dirt. I then went up along with him. I then stared it and I didn’t quite understand what the fuck was he looking at. I mean, was that dirt special dirt or something? Was it dirt from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, where Johnny Depp said, “I have a jar of dirt?”

What could this be you might ask? Well, I asked Mac, “Hey, Mac, why is he Arrell staring at that pile of dirt over there?”

Then Mac went up to it, for he was a bit confused too. Then, he had an expression of relief on his face. He then said to me, “Oh. Now I remember. This is where we hid the dead body at.”

Then Forest went up to the pile of dirt and said, “Oh yeah, I remember that day. That was the best summer of our lives.”

Yea, and what Forest meant by that was, a summer of when they first met each other, and somewhere, they ripped off the plot from, ‘Stand by me’, to which they end up killing some pony and burying the dead body.

Apparently, it was Forest’s and Jack’s first time they ever killed anyone. That seemed a bit…awesome in my opinion, I think. Well, anyway, I then asked them, “Dead body?”

Then Arrell went up to me and he said, “Yes, you see, we kind of killed someone, which was sort of on accident, but at the same time, it was on purpose. In all honesty, we are not sure why we killed another pony in the first place either. If you want my advice, I would say do not question it, for it will confuse you as well. Anyways, I believe we should start to head off into the Everfree forest, don’t you all agree so we can take this bitch down ourselves?”

I then said, “Yea, I kind of agree. I just want to go back home so I can just do my shit.”

Therefore, we all then went into the forest, with, really, we had no fear, compared to the Mane 6, when they entered the forest.

Well, they acted scared for some, but, really, we were all used to the dam thing. I mean, I’ve been living in the fucking forest for a year, learn to make peace with the animals that lives in the forest, gather food that’s not poisons, make friends with a Timber Wolf, and pretty much be king of the Ever Free Forest.

With the Element of Harmony, they barley go into the forest and shit like that, so, compared to us to them, we were better skilled and shit.

However, we did weaken in some areas, that the Elements of Harmony were better at then us.

For example, a stable friendship. Now, let me put it like this, we will always remain friends, no matter what happens, but sometimes shit happens and we somewhat never forgive each other for it, but strangely remain as friends.

Another example would be being good siblings or big brothers I should admit. With Rarity and Applejack, they are great big sisters and shit. With Mac and Jack.

Well, with Mac, all he does is throw empty beer bottles at his little brother, but sometimes cares for him and gives him shitty advice for later in life. Yea, he wasn’t that great, but I’m pretty sure Rotten Tomato would give him a rating of, either %14 or the douche bag rating.

I don’t know, it’s really for your choosing. However, if you think that is nothing, well, at least it is something. With Jack, well, he doesn’t give a fuck. He could care less about his little brother and sometime pretends that he is not there at all.

However, sometimes he has to force himself to actually care about him, but really, no one cares about him. Another thing that the Elements of Harmony could kick our asses at, is, dare I say it, romance, or in this case, bromance I guess, but, I do not want to even speak of it. I understand that the elements have the romance friendship type, but really, does it even matter!?

All it ever did was give Bronies back on Earth a reason to masturbate to ponies. That is all it did. Sure, some of it was heartwarming, but there are other ways of having heartwarming moments then a romance type feel to it.

Why the fuck is I even writing this down and wasting my precious ink on that part? In addition, Celestia was pissed at me, but I’ve gotten around here tricks this time. Right now, I’m not in my room in Cantorlot Castle. I’m on a Phoenix high in the sky under Luna’s moon. Those sisters will never think to check up here.

Granted, I don’t have any resources to refill my ink now. Then again, yesterday, I actually surprisingly gave a fuck and made a spell that would refill ink containers. So, yay for that I guess. No more boring bull crap from now on…I think. Let us just hope however that Luna doesn’t spot me on this bird of mine, or I’m fucked.

Anyways, we went into the forest and we were walking along a cliff type trail. Forest then said to us, “Wow. I’ve heard many things about this place being creepy and all, but in all honesty, this isn’t scary one bit at all. I mean, it looks like this cliff is going to crack and fall or something.”

I then said to Forest, “I think you just jinxed it Forest.”

Then Forest said, “No I didn’t, I’m just saying is all. Besides, what wrong could happen?”

Then I said to him, “There you go, you just jinxed it again.”

Then Forest said, “Yea, well when the clone bitch of Princess Celestia makes shit happen, I still won’t believe I jinxed shit.”

I still do not understand that. However, Forest did jinx us, because that clone bitch was hot on our trail. However, she did make the cliff fall, but, before she did so, she copied the form of Applejack and put the copy of Applejack on a safe spot away from the part of the cliff that was about to crack and fall. She just appeared out of nowhere and the copy said, “Why hello Mac Farmer. I can see that you are still weak and hopeless.”

Then, Mc pushed himself to the front and he was pissed off at what he was seeing. He said in a grunted way, “What the fuck are you doing here Applejack?”

I then told him, “Mac, she isn’t real. She is just that Princess Celestia clone bitch. She’s just trying to use your weakness and shit to get us all killed.”

Then Jack asked me, “How do you know that?”

Then I said to him, “Well, I just assuming that shit that happened to the Elements of Harmony is going to happen to us. It’s just what it really seems to me right now.”

However, Mac did not hear a word that I say. He ignored us while he listened to fake Applejack. The copy Applejack then said, “Well then, I know you really hate me. However, since I’m sooooooooooo much better then you and you are so weaker then I am, I’ll give you a one free hit on me.”

Then Mac said, “you’re on you mother fucking bitch!”

Then Mac charged towards the fake Applejack, while I said, “No Mac! She’s just trying to use your…ah, forget it. We were screwed anyway from the start.”

Then Arrell said, “Well, at least we had a good run.”

I then responded to Arrell with, “You do realize that we didn’t even get ten yards into the forest yet, right?”

Then he said, “Well, at least we can dream though, right?”

Yea, he’s right. We can still dream. Then, the ground beneath of us started to crack, just as if I said it would. Yea, saying, the clone was trying to use Mac’s jealousy for Applejack as a distraction while we pretty much die and he does nothing about.

This means we instantly failed the mission, just like a casual gamer playing Metal Gear Solid for the first time.

Yea, we were that bad at this shit. However, surprisingly, Mac noticed what was happening, and then he looked back at the fake Applejack. The copy said, “You either hit me Mac, so you can prove to me if you’re better than me, or you save your friends, and you lose your free hit on me. So then, what is it going to be?”

Then Mac stood there for a while and thought it through. Then, he came to his senses and he said to the Applejack bitch, “No. I rather save my friends you bitch.”

Then Mac rushed over to us and with all of his strength, and pushing his head against our asses, so we can get off the cliff before it collapsed and to a stable ground.

Well, he did so and he pretty much collapsed as well because he used all of his strength to get us to safety as well. Then the fake Applejack said to him, “Tisk, tisk, tisk Mac Farmer. It was a shame, you could have really proved to me that you were actually better than me. It looks like you will be continued to be shunned from the apple family once more.”

Then, Mac got up and he said, “No I didn’t you bitch. I did prove myself that I was better then you. I saved my friends, something that you could not do, so up yours you bitch. Let’s go guys.”

Surprisingly, he did make a bit sense there in what he said. Let me explain what I mean by this. If you recall how Applejack showed honesty, she showed it through telling Twilight to let go. Now, here’s the thing, what if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy wasn’t able to rescue Twilight when she needed to be saved?

Applejack could try her hardest to pull up Twilight, but, really, she couldn’t. Unless she was on steroids, then maybe she could. That, and he also proved that his jealousy actually save us. You think it would be a bad thing, but in the end, or in this type of situation, it isn’t.

I mean, as long as Mac believes that what he does with his friends, or in other words, us, can be better the his cousin Applejack, his jealousy can save us and shit.

In addition, I should possibly say this before we continue with this adventure of mine.

You might be confused on as to why we could not just jump off the falling part of the cliff, but somehow, that evil clone bitch somehow put a spell on us, that makes us unable to move, but if someone else pushes us, we could move. I still don’t know where she came up with that spell or how the spell even exists, but ok then. We’re just going to pretend hat it somehow it exists and not question…at all.

Well, we then walked for a bit, and by the way, the fake Applejack disappeared, go figure.

Well, we got a decent amount traveled into the forest, and we eventually got the point where we were seeing more trees than anything else. Then, the Celestia clone bitch did it again, by making scary faces onto the trees. Now, if you recall with my lie, that I said that my friends were scared and shit of the trees.

Well…at least I think. Fuck it man, I cannot keep track with all my lies here man. I would need a file cabinet or something to keep track how many lies that I have said so far with my life’s story.

Well, whatever I said, my friends were not scared, neither was I. I mean, we just looked at it, and were wondering to ourselves, ‘what the fuck is the Celestia clone bitch trying to do here, scare us?

Well, if it was trying to scare us, it wasn’t working not one bit. Well, as we were walking through the trees, and being confused as to why the clone was trying to do this, Forest said, “Well, these might be retarded looking trees, but at least they look kind of real.”

Then Jack said, “Let me stop you right there, it’s not kind of real looking trees. You can obviously tell that these are fakes, because I know a guy that can do a much better job at this.”

Then Arrell asked, “Who is this guy you speak of? I might need him for a job on scaring the animals to have sex with one another if he can do it.”

Then Jack said, “Sadly, it’s me. I don’t get out as much as I used to, however, I can do some sort of shit like this, depending on what I have and shit.”

Yea, there is another thing I did not mention about jack that was a lie that I told you all. If you recall how he sometimes helps Mac and shit. Well, half of that was a lie.

He doesn’t sell furniture or shit like that, but he does try to get that classy type of style into Cantorlot, so he can be credited for shit for bringing something awesome in. That, and so Princess Celestia could thank him with something.

However, what else I didn’t mention was that Jack as this a bit of an artistic thing to him. He makes suits and can sometimes make designs of some sort, whenever he can.

Really, he’s that guy from My Little Dashie. He says he works, but he never specifically says what he does for a living other then he has a job. I’m just not sure anymore what Jack does, but it’s pretty safe to bet that he does suits and designs and shit.

Well, we were walking for about almost half a mile, and Mac eventually said, “Does these trees ever end? I mean, I think we’ve been walking in circles here.”

Then Neon came the FUCK out of nowhere, and he said, “I might be a source of assistance.”

Then I asked Neon, “What do you mean a source?”

Then Neon said, “Well, I can certainly help you guys out through these mazes of trees.”

I then asked, “How so?”

Then Neon said, “Why Knight, it’s simple as one, two, and three.”

Then Neon took out a guitar and started to sing. Before he started to sing, I said, “How the fuck is singing is going to help us out Neon?”

Then Neon said, “Oh, you’ll see Knight. You will see. Just sit back and watch.”

Then, Neon started to sing the lyrics, which was this.

I’ll cook up some meth with the black guy ponies that I know,
They say normal white guy ponies saves the trouble, but I prefer Zebras!
I then got AIDS from a bitch down at the market with my pet,
There’s hardly enough meth to last for a single seconds for they are snorted away!
Watch as I use my randomness,
Eye of the shit bag soup lemonade,
What as the this problem turn to shit,
Make a black hole, jump in!
Crack stew, do you smell the fear guys?
Sometimes life is a total bitch, served up with a penguin’s asshole
Toss the bitch and,
Save the weed and,
AIDS and cancer, fucks and shits,
Narration, inception,
Illegal dicing, dead body slicing,
Trees are rising, horrifying
Neon if you’re hearing this it means that you fucked everything up
Please don’t fuck it up more; just don’t do a single thing you piece of shit
My randomness is preheated and I’ve got you in my trap
Let’s beat these oaks and save my coke by destroying the universe!
Watch as I use my randomness
Spike Lee tears and Sean Connery
Mod out the outcasts of Warcraft
Someday, I’m going to a dome.

Someday, I’m going to a dome.

Yea, I didn’t think Neon could use that song, pinkie’s brew and fuck it up. However, I do have to give him credit though for using rhymes, because that is not what he usually uses whenever he’s singing and shit.

In addition, I should mention while Neon was singing his song, the trees slowly got up and walked away. It’s as if they were from the Lord of the Rings or something. Maybe they are from that universe.

Well, if it’s true, then we just have to destroy the ring in which he was made from, which is apparently the universe or some shit like that, or was it crafted by midgets. Yea, it was crafted by midgets…I mean elves…midgets.

Then again, I’m pretty sure it was them, but then, who the fuck cares nowadays, am I right? Well, when the trees got up and walked away, we saw how much open space there was.

Apparently, we were about fifty yards or so till the endless sea of trees ended if Neon did not do what he did. When we saw this, I said, “Uhhh….What the fuck Neon?”

Then Neon said to me, “Well, it’s just what I do. I do random shit. Now onwards towards our destination! Onwards my companions!”

Then Neon floated up and we didn’t see him for about an hour or so. Well, after he left us for about an hour or so, Forest said, “Wow, there’s a lot of space here without those shitty looking trees.”

Then Jack said, “I kind of wish we had those trees back. I feel lonely now since they’re gone.”

He had a point there. With so much space without the trees, it felt like shit to just be there. Well, we then continued to walk for about a mile more.

However, of course the clone bitch was up to her usual tricks once more, and was following us. Then, she saw an opportunity to fuck us up some more.

We were walking right by a cave and the clone bitch went into the cave and found a menticore. Well she went up to it, and let us just says, she started to give it a hoof-job.

Yea, he was trying to get the menticore horny or something, which I don’t know if the clone bitch enjoyed it or not, but from what I’ve seen, she went right at it.

Well, the menticore was enjoying, until she stopped, and the menticore was pissed off that his pleasure was gone. Then, he went on a rampage, saw us, and decided to kill us. Yea, that clone bitch knew what she was doing.

Well, we walked right past the cave and shit, and by the time the menticore was pissed off, we were away from the entrance to the cave. Therefore, we were a bit a lucky I suppose.

So, we were chased, until Arrell found a nice smooth rock. Then, Arrell picked it up and yelled at us, “Hey! Stop running! I’ve got an idea!”

I then yelled back, “All you’re going o do is make him more pissed off if you throw that rock at him! I’m sorry buddy, but you’re fucked!”

Then Arrell just shrugged what I said off and threw the rock in front of the menticore. The beast stopped in his tracks for a bit, and stared at it. Then, the menticore started top fuck the rock.

When we saw this, we went up to Arrell and Jack asked, “What the fuck is going on here?”

Then Arrell explained, “Well, since I work with animals and breed them and shit, I should know when an animals is horny. I mean, trust me, I know this shit because I’ve been breeding animals for years. That and I’ve made new creations and shit among those years that I’ve breaded animals and took care of them.”

I then said, “You take care of animals?”

Then Arrell said, “Well, more or less, or something like that. I mostly breed them and have a farm of animals. Anyways, yea, I just solved the problem.”

Then Forest asked, “But how is it getting its pleasure? I mean, he can’t really have sex with a rock.”

Then Arrell said, “Actually he can. I’m not sure how, but I’ve forced animals to have sex with a rock before, but I’m never sure what comes out because the chick animal always dies before she can give birth.”

I then asked Arrell, “So, is that a female manticore?”

Then Arrell said, “Nope, it’s a male.”

I then asked, “Then how…”

Arrell then cut me off and he said, “I wouldn’t question it, for I don’t know the answer to it either.”

Then, the menticore was eventually finished and came all over the rock. Then he had a face of relief and went back to his cave to masturbate. Well then, that was quite an interesting thing that I saw to which I never wish to see ever happen again.

Anyway, somehow the rock got pregnant and within nine seconds, the rock gave birth to a moon crab somehow.

I then had my ‘what the fuck’ face on, as I tried to make sense of it. I then asked Arrell, “Arrell, how is that even possible?”

Then Arrell said, “I don’t know, but all that matters is that I’ve created a new creature. Who knows, maybe if it fights well, I can use it for an animal army, as long as it doesn’t hate me when I try to force it to breed with other animals of course.”

Then Arrell went up to the moon crab, and he bent down near it. He then said, “Come here you little fucker, I’m going to take you home with me.”

The moon crab struggled a bit to get away from Arrell, which, the moon crab was right to do so in the first place, but he was unfortunate, and got caught.

However, the moon crab then tried to struggle somehow, while Arrell said, “I got you know you son of a bitch. You’re going to have a fun time fucking animals when we get back.”

Then the moon crab used it’s pinchers and pinched Arrell’s nose. Then Arrell let go of the moon crab, and the moon crab then tried to crawl away.

However, Arrell was pissed at this and tried to chase after it.

However, as he did so, Neon came back, and stopped Arrell. Then Neon just creepily stared at Arrell for a few seconds, and then turned his attention to the moon crab. Then he said aloud, “Ob boy! A moon crab!”

Then Neon transported all of us, including the moon crab itself, to the moon. Yes, and strangely enough, we could somehow breathe in space.

I was not sure how, but then again, maybe it was Neon that was keeping us from suffocating. However, then again, Luna was banished to the moon for a thousand years, and she could breath fine in space.

However, of course she was an alicorn, so maybe she could breath because she was an alicorn, but the rest of us can’t breathe, because we’re not alicorns, and just regular douchebag ponies who are pretty much worthless…in a way.

Well, all of us, except for Neon, were wondering where the fuck we were on the moon. In fact, we didn’t know why were on the moon, instead of being in the Everfree Forest, where we were most needed at, for Equestria was pretty much at stake here and it was in our hooves to stop the evil clone bitch from taking over Equestria and some shit like that.

Anyways, we started to follow Neon, which Neon followed the moon crabs. Well, we went walked with them for about ten minutes, to which we were lead to an army of moon crabs.

In fact, I think some of them were plotting to invade Equestria and plot evil schemes and shit. Well, we saw this, while Neon joined the moon crabs.

Then Forest asked, “Neon do you know what the fuck is going on here!?”

Then Neon said with a smile that was creepy on his face still, “Why, we these moon crabs are having a moon crab party on the moon!”

I then said to Neon, “We don’t have time for that Neon. Equestria is at stake here! Just take us back down to Equestria, so we can finish this off with the evil clone bitch so we can all move on with our lives!”

Then Neon said, “But if we do such a thing, you guys will miss the moon crab party these moon crabs were just about to have. In fact, I was going to play a song for them.”

Then Neon somehow grabbed his guitar out of thin air or wherever the fuck he puts his things at in the first place.

Then, he started to sing a song that is similar to rock lobster from Family Guy.

One day, a guy was walking on the moon,
He was playing a game,
Called Black ops zombies!
He was playing on the moon one day,
Having some fun.
Then he came across a rock!
But it wasn’t any ordinary rock.
It was a moon crab!
Moon crab!
Moon Crab!
Moon Crab!

Then Neon was finished singing and he put his guitar…somewhere deep within the universe that is not within my grasp of my hooves.

Anyways, I was even surprised at the time that Neon even knew what Black Ops even was, along with the zombie mode with it and the moon map as well. Well, Neon finished singing his song, and when he did so, he put his guitar away, like I said, however, before he did so, he had a smile on his face.

Then Neon said to us, “Alright, I’m done. We can go now.”

Then Neon did his shit, and we were able to continue our mission and shit. Well, we then waited for Neon to walk back to us, however, when he got to us, he kept walking towards the way we came. Then Arrell said, “Neon, what the fuck are you doing!? I though you said that you were done!?”

Then Neon said to us, “I am done, we just need to walk back to the spot that we came from in order to get back to Equestria.”

Then I asked, “Why do we have to do that? Can’t you just teleport us back to Equestria from where we’re standing?”

Then Neon said, “I can, but you wouldn’t understand what I would need to do that. It would just be easier in order to get back to Equestria from the spot we came in.”

Then we were about to complain, but knew eventually figured out within like ten seconds or so, that it would be pointless to argue with Neon.

Besides, I didn’t feel like getting ass raped by a bunch of monkey bees that are one steroids who have plastic bottles for a dick, which are summoned by Neon because we argued with him.

In fact, I saw that happen to a pony once, who was just asking Neon for directions to get to the party store. Yea, I am still trying to repress those memories, of seeing that mare, being raped by monkey bees that are on steroids and have plastic bottles for dicks. It was just awful.

Well, putting that horrible memory aside that I will possibly never ever forget in my entire pony life, we eventually got to the spot where we came in from and Neon used his randomness to get us all back home.

Well, we then got back to the Everfree Forest, and we were at the spot where we left. We then had a pissed looked at Neon, and then Jack asked, “Neon! Why didn’t you just teleported us to the castle, so we don’t have to go that far and shit!?”

Then Neon said, “I know I could have done that you silly. We would just miss all the fun and shit. We, we are off now!”

Then a British guy that looked like he was from the 1900’s with that light-ish-brown color on his cargo cloths along with a black mustache was flowering Neon as well.

He even had a monocle on and that weird whip as if thingy, along with old tarred up maps and a good ol’ rifle gun from the early days when British people were not wizards, but racists to blacks and called Muslims.

They called them, weird people whom worships and guy that they are not allowed to see and not see they are hot women that they can rape. That joke could have been better, but in all honesty, that is what British people did back in those early days and shit.

Anyways, that British looking guy was walking right behind Neon, but in pony form, and he asked us nicely with his big British buck teeth, “Good day to you fine gentleman or should I say colts, as these ponies call that around here. I would like to ask you good sirs a fine ol’ question. Do any of you know where I can find the biggest elephants around, for I am on quest dear sirs? I am on a quest to go around the world and venture off to find the weirdest and exotic things, so that I may have stories to tell when I get back to my dear homeland that I love so dearly. That, and I can impress the women as well and they will be amazed and in ‘awe’, as I tell them daring adventures that I might have, while I have a tent set up and having a good ol record player on and drinking some tea. Now, does any of you fine gents would like to join me, for we could travel the world and see many things, doe we are gentleman, and we are man as well. So, what do you, fine sirs say?”

I then said to the weird British guy who just walked into our business, “Who the fuck are you, where did you come from, and why should we care?”

Then the British guy was a bit pissed off from me dropping the good ol’ fashioned F-bomb on him, and he said, “Well then, I thought you were all gents, but clearly, I was wrong. Now, good day to you sirs! I will just have keep my tea all to myself. Good day!”

Really, in all honesty here, and what we’re all thinking, is that he was just over reacting to the F-bomb that I dropped. I mean really, it isn’t that bad. Sure, I might have dropped the F-bomb many of times before, but in all seriousness, does anyone really care?

I mean, I know what the F-bomb means, but I just use it because it kind…I don’t know where I was going with that, but that British guy still over reacted to me saying ‘fuck’.

Anyways, we really do not know what happened to that British guy. Some say he got lost in the Everfree Forest. Some say a telephone pole raped him with a buffalo upchucking penguins piss. Others say, he saw a tree filled with babies, and he lit the tree on fire, with the babies on it.

It was also said that it was a thousand babies, and he herd their screams of pains. To the British guy, it was music to his ears. To him, it was his classical music, from the old days such as that one orchestral composer, who was deaf. You know that one that also had the same name with that dog who had shitty movies along with it.

I mean, it has been years since I studied Earth history and shit. Anyways, the truth is whatever you want it to be, or in other words, whatever you believe in of course.

However what I believe, is that the British guy was Flowering Neon and Neon killed him, and chances are, that’s a safe to bet that’s what happened to the British guy that we never saw again, but he will forever live on in Hogwarts, for he is a wizard, and all British people are wizards.

Well, we then caught up with Neon, who had just finished killing that one British guy who we never saw again, who never got his tea. Anyways, we then came across a river that had rapids in it.

Well, we were certainly fucked, weren’t we? I said to everyone, “Well then. Fuck. Well, it looks like we failed our mission then.”

Then Jack said to me, “Now wait, we can just find out a way across this very dangerous rapid river.”

Then we all looked at him and gave him that look that said, ‘seriously you fucking idiot?’

Then I said, “What are we going to jack? Unless we find a way to forge through the river or find a bridge of some sort, or a path of stable rocks we could jump on to get to the other side, I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere. Besides, we can’t find an alternative path because the river goes on for miles in one direction, while other end leads to a fucking waterfall. So either way, we’re fucked unless there is another way we can get across.”

Then, something came out of the water. We ten heard some splashing noises and shit, to which we saw a water serpent come out of the water.

He was crying and I asked aloud “What’s with this gay water serpent thingy animal?”

Then the water serpent said, “First off, I will have you know that I’m a half gay and half queer, thank you very much.”

I then said to him, “Ah, I see. I should’ve known that, I mean, your voice and the way you cry just sounds…off to me.”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to me, “Why are you trying to make things even more badly for me. Can’t you see I have problems?”

Then I said to him, “Look pal, we all have problems, but that doesn’t mean you should bitch about it twenty-four/seven.”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to me, “Well, I can’t help it. My queer side of me is too queer, while the gay side doesn’t do anything at all.

Now, I am just going to stand here in your way and complain about my other side of my mustache is gone, and that generous Rarity, who gave me her tail, is now gone forever. I shall stand here, until I get another mustache, because that is what queers do best. Why is my purple mustache gone?”

I then thought to myself, ‘what a wonderful world. No, wait, why am I thinking that Louis Armstrong song? Whatever, it does not matter. However, what an attention whore.

How did the Elements of fucking Harmony even deal with this gay sea serpent thingy? I really do not know what he is.

What is he anyways? Well, then again, the show did rather go off Greek myths, so I am guessing it has something to do with Greeks. Either the fat, harry, Speedo wearing Greeks, or the those tough, jocks, drunken asshole college Greeks.

I wonder if the show ever based off the creatures off that college Greeks anyways. That would be quite interesting, but not good, nonetheless. I have no idea what I just said there.

Maybe I should stop thinking and return my attention to this gay sea serpent thingy.’ I then turned my attention back to the gay sea serpent thingy.
I was about to say something, until Jack spoke up and he said, “I have an idea! Ok, I believe I have a plan on how for you to get a mustache so it will look good on you, and you can leave us the fuck alone so we can figure out a way to cross the river.”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to Classy Jack, “Really, you do have an idea? Well then, what is it good gentlecolt, on how I may get my glorious mustache back?”

Then Jack explained to the sea serpent, “Well, I won’t be able to figure out a way to get your other side to grow back, but, here’s my idea. First, you shave the other side of your mustache. Second, get a job at a gym, and work out a bit, because you are going to need muscles for this. Soon, make friends with a sea serpent that sounds like a Zebra and that isn’t gay or queer. Also, make sure he is a body builder as well.

Then, as soon as you two have built up your friendship, you try to get one more guy in your group, same requirements. The next step is to find a guy that is rich, as a lot of money and bitch and fancy things, along with a big ass house and a awesome mustache that you like.

Then, while no one else is looking, kidnap him, torture him at a warehouse, and make him sign over the paper work, where he will sign off all the assets to you.

Then, once that happens, make sure you kill him, so he does not go to anybody for help because you kidnapped him. However, I would suggest setting him on fire…somehow under water. Then, you party like a mother fucker all night and long, while have a sweet mustache to have. Also, if you ever need more money and bitchs, just does the same process again, minus gather the team part though.”

Yea…Jack just described almost the entire plot to Pain and Gain right there. I mean, how stupid that gay sea serpent is? That plan did not work for those 90’s people, it certainly won’t work for him.

However, the gay sea serpent thingy then said to Jack, “Why, that is the best idea I’ve ever heard in my life! Where did you come up with such a great strategy?”

Then Jack shit, “Uhhhhhh……..fucking shit?”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy said, “Close enough. Thank you my friends, for giving me such a great idea to do. As to show my thanks, I shall help you across this river.”

Then the gay sea serpent then stretched out his back or made humps for us to jump across on, so we could get to the other side for this instance.
What an asshole, why didn’t he just like stretched a certain amount of his back out so we don’t have to jump across? Then again, what fuck do I know about gay sea serpent thingies?

Also, just in case if you’re curious what happened to the gay serpent, the planned failed, but the serpent got away with it. In other words, here’s what happened to him.

He went back into the water and shit, and since it is a small area of water, there wasn’t much rich serpents around that had lots of money bitchs, however, the gay serpent spotted him, and stared at him.

Then, he did what Jack said, and joined a gym and made friends with a serpent that sounded like a black guy sort of speak. Then, he made friends with the same type of guy, but he just got out of prison and was doing crack.

Then, they kidnapped him, made him signed over all of his assets and toured him as well. Then the gay serpent cut off his mustache, put it on his face, and killed him, or so they thought.

Yea, the gay serpent fucked up and did not make sure that he was dead, however, no one believed the serpent that was kidnapped that he was kidnapped, and the gay serpent almost got away with it.

However, they were soon losing money and they were hungry once more. Therefore, they ended up trying to kidnap a serpent that made a shit load of porn, but ended up killing him and his wife, and they tried to get rid of the evidence, but failed to do so.

Soon, a serpent that strangely enough was named Ed Harris, looked, and sounded like him too caught them. Then, they were brought to court, however, the gay serpent confessed and said that his two friends made him they’re hostage and bitch, mad made him do whatever they wanted and said that he was forced to kidnap a serpent and shit.

The judge believed his sad sop story and mentioned that since the place is filed with magic and shit, that no one really cared if he was lying or not, and the gay serpent’s friends were scented to death, and the gay serpent lived happily ever after with his mustache that he wanted, fuck you, the end. Wow, well then, I have to give that gay serpent some credit there, that he actually did something that was good…I think.

Whatever, this is a fucked up world that we live in anyways. Well, since your curiosity is out of the way, let us continue here.

Well, we then were walking we could see that abandoned castle in the distance. However, one problem was standing in our way, a fucking broken bridge.
I then said aloud, “Mother Fucker! A fucking bridge that’s fucking broken on the other side! Come on! When the fuck will that clone bitch fucking stop with putting obstacles in our fucking way!?”

Then Forest hovered up a bit, and he said to me, “Don’t worry Knight. This is no problem here. I can just go on the other side and bring the bridge back over here and we can go to the castle and find the elements to fight the evil clone bitch.”

I then said to Forest, “You do realize that this is a trap for you. You might want to be careful when trying to get the bridge. The evil clone bitch might try to seduce you or something.”

Then Forest said, as he was flying across the gap to get to the bridge, “Don’t worry, it’s a piece of cake.”

Yea, if that piece of cake gave you diabetes and fucked your life over. Well, Forest then went to get the bridge, and which he did, however, he saw something deep within the mist. Forest then asked, “Hello!? Is any pony there? Don’t fucking try to scare me, or I’ll fuck you up, because…I don’t know but I believe I can do the fire boom!”

Then, what came out of the mist, was the evil clone bitch, or disguised as Rainbow Dash of course.

I mean, the evil clone bitch would not just be out in the open and reveal herself, even though it doesn’t matter though. Well, then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said to Forest, “Hello Forest.”

Then, when Forest saw this, he had his mouth opened and his jaw dropped, as well as a boner as he wanted to clop right that very moment.

Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said to Forest, “I have been admiring you from afar. I believe you also noticed me. I know that you have a crush on my Forest for over twenty years.”

Then Forest said, “Umm…I wasn’t stalking you or anything, nor did I make a shrine in my bedroom to you or anything…”

Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said, “Shhhhhhhh…I understand handsome. You do not have to be nervous around me. Besides, I have a crush on you too.”

Then Forest asked, “You…you do?”

Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said, “Oh yes, for a very long time, ever since we met each other’s eyes, even if it was for a split of a second.
Now then, come with me, and we can make love all night long in my house, and we can do whatever you want. I even will be your bitch for the night and give you a blowjob to go along with it. Then, we can go on dates and have a perfect little family together.”

Then Forest came all over the ground, while the clone said, “That cum of yours is making me so horny right now Forest. Now just follow me, and we can do it…honey.”

Then Forest said, “Sure, I’ll do it, but first, let me just put this bridge up before the guys bitch about me taking forever and shit.”

Then the clone said, “No! You either leave the bridge down or make love to me or you don’t have me at all. Now then, what is your choice then Forest?”

Then Forest said, “Well, first off, the answer is no. I mean, I know you’re the evil clone bitch and all, I mean, your disguises aren’t fooling any pony here. However, I was willing to have sex with a clone of Rainbow Dash, because, well, as long as you looked like her and good in bed, I would have been fine with it and actually pretend that you are the real Rainbow Dash. However, you’re not really that worth it anyways. So, goodbye you stuck up bitch.”

Then as Forest was about to get to us, he then slipped on his own come and fell into the valley, or that hold that looked bottomless, but it’s really not. Well then, isn’t that just dandy.

Well, we didn’t know that Forest fell, except for me and all with the off the grid powers and shit like that. Well, Forest fell and he ended up at the bottom. Well, Forest didn’t get hurt that much, but somehow, there was a portal that lead to other universe, and Forest went through one.

Well, he did and he ended up in the Halo universe, but an alternate one though, not the legit one. Sorry Halo fan boys, but fuck you. Well, there were two Spartans. One was a guy who adventured a lot, while the other one was normal.

Well, the adventure one asked, “Are you ready for adventure Timothy!?”

Then the guy next to him said, “Not really. I mean, what is up with you and adventuring nowadays?”

Then the adventure said, “Well then, I need someone to go on an adventure with!”

Then Forest came though he landed right next to the adventure guy. The guy asked, “You, Technicolor talking pony!? Would you like to go on an adventure with me!?”

Then Forest said, “An adventure? Fuck yea mother fucker!”

Then the adventure guy said, “Then let’s go my fellow Campion. Adventure!!!”

Then the adventure guy dropped down to the ground, while Forest said to the other Spartan, “Come on whatever the fuck you are! Adventure awaits us!”

Then both of them dropped down to the ground and followed the adventure guy. Eventually, Forest got a gun started to shoot random Spartans with the adventure guy, while saying, “Adventure!”

Very loudly. Soon, Forest got up to the counter and said, “Put the money in the bag! Or I’ll adventure your god dam face off!”

Then the other normal Spartan said, “Are we robbing a fucking bank!?”

Then the adventure guy said, “We’re adventuring a bank timothy, keep up.”

Then the adventure guy killed someone else. Soon the police came in. Soon, the adventure guy said, “No fear timothy. They will never catch us, because we have Adventure! Adventure!!!”

The adventure guy then used a jet pack and hovered away with the money, and Forest and the other Spartan was left there alone.

However, soon, a train came in and hit Forest and Forest was once again transported to another universe, that was not a rip off of Sanity Not Included.

This time, it was the Inception universe. Forest was in that dream like city with good ol’ Leo and got off the front of the train and shit, Soon, he was right next to good ol’ Leo and Leo said, “Why is the guy that we’re after have projectiles now have Technicolor talking ponies?”

Then Forest said, “I could possibly help out with your adventure if you let me.”

Then Leo said, “Well, we do need another guy to shoot and kill projectiles that are after us. Fine then, can handle a gun?”

Then Forest said, “I sure can whatever a ‘gun’ is?”

Then Leo said, “Close enough.”

Ten Leo handed Forest his gun and he said, “All right now! Listen up! Maul is after us, and we have limited time. So we need to get into the dirty white van, put the guy in the fan and we’re going to the second dream level. This pony here will be our eagle in the sky and protect the van from harm up above. Now let’s move it people!”

Soon, Leo and his gang got into the dirty white van and left, while Forest was there eye in the sky and protect it. Forest killing projectiles from left to right, and surprisingly knew how to use a gun in the first place.

Soon, he got close to the ground and was having himself a good ol’ massacre. While Forest was doing that, he said very loudly, “Adventure!”

Soon, another portal opened up and he went into another universe, which were then the transformer’s universe. Well, Forest was on an Earth like planet, which sadly, is that bay film’s that he was in.

Well, Forest was in the Bumble Bee car, and soon, the car transformed into the robot.

Then Forest was on top of the transformer and Optimums Prime came the fuck out of nowhere and he said to Forest, “You have chosen wisely. Would you like to go on awesome adventure, see fewer cloths and people, explosions, giant ass robots, and other shit?”

Then Forest said, “Well, that doesn’t sound like much of an adventure, but ok then.”

Then Prime said, “Good, because shit just got real here.”

Soon, Forest was seeing all of what Prime just said, and eventually fell into another portal, which was the Harry Potter universe and he was in the woods, while Harry was there.

Well, Harry then came up to Forest and said, “Hello random pony that came from nowhere, would you like to help me defeat Voldermolt?”

Then Forest said, “Sure, as long as it’s an adventure.”

Then Forest defeated Voldermolt and flew up high in the sky to celebrate, but ended up going through another portal…again.

Then, he landed on Earth, the legit Earth. It was the year 2020, or for you guys by the time you get this, the past, or at the time, the present.

Anyways, two whiter people, two males, were at OJ Simpson’s house.

The first one said, “You know what, I don’t think OJ did kill those people.”

The second guy said, “Yea, he is really nice guy and not a murder. I mean, I don’t think he did murder those people. Although I wonder who did kill them though.”

Then Forest flew and somehow killed both of them. Then Forest was on the ground, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened and shit. Forest also said, “Owwweeeee. Adventure? Oh god, please don’t be dead. Wakey wakey dead bodies. Oh god, I don’t know what you are, but ewe, Fuck it man, I hope I didn’t ruin anyone’s life now.”

Then Forest flew back to his own universe, while O.J. Walked through the door. He said, “Alright guys, I’m home… Oh god! Not again! Why does this keep happening to me! Why does everyone else keep killing whoever is my friend. I mean, the last Batman did it! Why!?”

Yea, that Batman thing, well…you see…what happened was a funny story…fuck it, I’m not explaining it. It’s just another funny story for another time.

Anyways, O.J. Was crying in tears, while Forest finally got back to his own universe. While we were waiting for Forest, we were bored as shit. I mean, we were waiting got Forest for about three hours and the sunrise was almost up.

I then said to every pony there, “Where the fuck is Forest? He should’ve been here three hours ago.”

Then Mac said, “Yea, he would’ve been here if it wasn’t for a certain somepony.”

Then, we were looking at the evil clone bitch. Yes, the evil clone bitch was bored as shit too, and was right next to us, because we weren’t across the bridge and shit wasn’t happening.

The evil clone bitch said, “Well, it wasn’t me that did it. I mean, sure, I did something to Forest, but he just feel down.”

Then I said to the evil clone bitch, “Yea, sure, whatever you say you fucking bitch.”

Then Forest eventually came with the bridge and connected it. Soon, Arrell asked, “Forest, where the fuck were you!?”

Then Forest said, “I don’t know.”

Forest said that along with a smile on his face, just as if Family Guy did. Anyways, we then said to the evil clone bitch that we would meet her in the castle and shit.

Soon, the evil clone bitch left to go to the abandoned castle, and we walked across the bridge. Eventually, we were at the abandoned castle and we entered the front two doors. Once we saw the interior of the place, we were awed by how big the place was.

I mean, whoever built the place was fucking high or was just taking things a bit too far, because no one really needed that much of a place, but whatever. Eventually, we walked around the castle for a bit, and eventually found the rooms where the elements were at…which were hid in fucking stone. Really, did the elements have to be hid in stone?

I mean, what purpose does that even have. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore since that was the past and this is now. Fuck it, the past is more important than shit.

Well, we all helped and got the five elements down, but the last one was not there and shit, but I recall in the show, it was not revealed.

Well, we then stared at the balls of stone and Mac questioned, “So, now what do we do?”

I then said to every pony else, “Well, I believe I have to use like my magic to get the elements open and shit.”

Then my friends started to walk away from, while Mac said, “Well, good luck with that then.” If you need us, we’ll be doing some kind of shit that we don’t know what we’re doing outside.”

When my friends left me, I then said, “Assholes.”

I then turned my attention to the elements and I said to myself, “Now then, how the fuck do I get these bastards open. Where is an axe pick at when you need one?”

Well, then the evil clone bitch teleported into the room, and my friends saw this, and the evil clone bitch too me to the other end of the castle, which is where the Elements of Harmony found the elements at when this happened to them. Well, my friends saw this, and surprisingly, they cared about me, and Forest asked, “Where did Knight go?”

Then Jack went towards the window and he said, “I believe the evil clone bitch took Knight to the other end of the castle.”

Then Mac said, “Son of a mother fucking bitch! Now we have to walk some more! I mean, that’s got to be five more miles before we get to the other end.”

Then Neon said, “Let’s go!”

Then my friends were ont here way to me. Well, the evil clone bitch had me in her trap, and she said to me, “You fool, you will never get the elements of protection now, since you haven’t even crack open the stone balls.”

I then said, “That’s what they’re called? The elements of protection? Well, I guess it makes some sort of sense, but I don’t understand how that is supposed to relate to me and my friends.”

However, the evil clone bitch had not listened to a single word that I said and she continued to say, “You will never get the elements, for I will kill Celestia, for she had forgotten about me and I shall rule all of Equestria!”

Then I said, “Wow, you’re so original. You know what bitch, how about actually doing something different for once, and not trying to just take over Equestria. I mean, what is so great about it? All it is just happy ponies and shit, nothing more than that. I mean, sure, you have some slaves if you took over Equestria, but what the fuck do you want them to do? I mean, there’s basically nothing that they can do and shit.”

Then, the evil clone bitch still didn’t hear what I said, and she said, “You sdare challenge me to a duel? Well then, so be it then, but I will warn you, that your death, will not be quick, nor will it be painless.”

I then asked the evil clone bitch, “What the fuck are you even talking about? I mean, seriously, do you not hear what I’m saying?”

Then the evil clone bitch charged at me, while yelling, “Lerroy Jenkins!”

Then I said, “Oh, so you listen to the internet videos or wherever you heard that from, but not to me. Know what, fuck you bitch, fuck you right up the asshole.”

Then, I teleported before she could hit me and I was with the elements and shit. Then the evil clone bitch was a bit more pissed off and shit at me, but whatever, it didn’t really mattered.

However, right after I teleported, and saw the stone elements, I then realized who did represent the elements of protection. Yea, I kind of notice pattern from time to time and shit somewhat fast.

Well, I then said to the evil clone bitch, “You know what you bitch? I can defeat you, because I have the know who represent the elements now!.”

Then the evil clone bitch said, “You don’t have the elements you dumbass. I mean, how you could possibly know by now…”

Then Mac cut the evil clone bitch off, and he said, “Fucking finally! We’re here! God that was such a fucking bitch to trek through the ruins.

Whatever, let’s just try to fucking get rid of this evil clone bitch so we can go home.”

I then said to the evil clone bitch, “You see I slowly connected the patterns, and the elements are friends…in a fucked up way!”

I then quickly used a spell to break the stone balls, which I should have done in the first place, but whatever, that was the past, this is the…present-pass?

Well, anyways, I then started to list the elements the names and shit. I said to the evil clone bitch, “My fiend Mac Farmer represents the element of Envy! My friend Neon Party represents the element of Randomness! My friend Arrell, represents the element of creation! My friend Classy Jack represents the element of strategy! My friend Forest Fire represents the element of Adventure! As for the last element, I represent, somehow, the element of strength!”

Now, as I was calling of the elements and my friends, they slowly started to float like a posed person by a demon and they had something to go along with their element.

Mac and Neon had rings to go over their forelegs with their cutie marks. Oh right, and I forgot to mention their cute marks as well.

Mac was something with apples, while Neon had like Neon glows sticks.

As for Arrell, Forest, and Jack had their elements as necklaces, but whatever, it looked ok on them.

Their cutie marks was a Wolf like animal for Arrell, a cloud with a fire streak next to it for Forest, and a suit for Jack.

Well, for Jack, there’s really nothing better then what he could have gotten, so…I guess it’s ok with him?

Well, as for me, I got my element, as a crown, however, since I don’t have a cutie mark, or what the kids say these days, a blank flank (Stupid seven year old kids)

It was just a white round stone on the crown. Soon, we all hovered up, and instead of rainbows coming out, a light blue-ish beam of light happened, which weakened the evil clone bitch, along with a rainbow to finish it off.

Therefore, yea, we had two things instead of one. Take that you fucking elements of Harmony. Anyways, the evil clone bitch was on the ground, weak and tired, while we slowly decided down.

However, instead of being happy and shit, we were tired too and in shock. Then Forest said aloud, “Om y god! That felt weird!”

I then said, “That took a lot out of us!”

Then Jack said, “How the fuck does the elements of Harmony even do this every time when they need to use it?”

Yea, here’s the thing, what we felt when using the elements on, it felt like shit, and it took a lot out of us, so, yea. We wished we never had to use the elements ever again.

Anyways, You all must be wondering, what the fuck!? Why are these elements the way they are, and what my friends even did to represent them in the first place?

Well, I was just like that at first, but then I started to think about it for a while and it soon made sense to me.

You see, when Mac had to make a choice to either save us or fight clone Applejack, he chose what he chose through his envy, so he could prove that he is better than Applejack.

Neon…well…that is self-explanatory, so I don’t have to say a dam thing about that one. Arrell, gave a menticore a rock to fuck when it was horny, and made a moon crab, so, he is a creator or creation in this instance.

With Jack, well the gay sea serpent did say it, but he used a strategy, so it makes sense, but a bad one, but still a decent one…I’m confused.

As for Forest, he represents Adventure, for what he did through the other universes and shit.

As for me representing strength and shit, well, I have been through a lot in my life, and I certainly have the muscles for it, the knowledge to create weapons and shit like that, but whatever, it doesn’t really matter.

I am strong, and my will and sprit…fuck it, you get the point. However, if you are wondering how the fuck did this came to be, well, let me explain. If you know a little bit about Equestrian history, the bitch who was named something the clover or something. I don’t remember.

Well, she suggested about making elements of Harmony, instead of Star Swirl the breaded earlier suggesting of elements that fight or something like that.

Well, one colt in the croup pretty much disagreed with that clover bitch, and agreed to have elements that fight or are more powerful the Harmony.
However, he knew that Celestia would not approve of such a thing, so, he worked on the elements in secret, and never told Celestia whenever he went to the meetings and shit.

He was unsociable, because he kept working on it day after day and always working hard on it.

Eventually, seven years after the elements of Harmony were created, the elements of protection were made, and were ready to go and be of some sort of us in the future.

The colt, which the name is unknown, because his never name was never recorded in any of the books. Well, he feared that something stronger then Harmony would one day come and will be horrible. So, the elements of protection was made to do such a purpose and fight that cannot be fought by the elements of Harmony. Well, the elements were envy.

With that one, it rather is the fuel of fighting I guess, in a way. It pretty much angers the soul and shit, and encourages fighting. As for creation, if there is any sort of battle going on, the element can create animals beyond out imagination to help fight.

As for Randomness, it can distract enemies or just fight as well, so, two in one I guess for that element.

As for strategy, whenever in a fight, there is a way that needs to be done depending on what situation that you’re in, and it helps to strategize and shit.

As for the adventure element, it just for one pony that is not afraid to go beyond where it is most dangerous of all places to go at, even for the elements of Harmony.

As for strength, it’s what a protection (and friendship) needs or something like that. Together, they make up the elements of Protection, or as what I like to call it, The Other Elements. You get ‘The Other Guys’ joke there or reference? You guys aren’t any fun.

Anyways, the colt then released the elements; it let it choose who represent the most of either element. However, when the colt was on his deathbed, Celestia was there to say her goodbyes to him and the colt died.

However, Celestia then went through his things, and she noticed that written down in his notebook, that he had made the elements of Protection, and she was a bit pissed off, but it was too late since he already released them.

However, Celestia did not see a purpose to them and wanted to destroy them immediately.

However, colt was a bit clever, because the elements had to be altogether in order for it to be destroyed, so, that colt guy was a bit smart when he was making them.

Well, Celestia still wanted them destroyed, so she started to rack the elements down. However, she kept running into a problem, of which whoever represents the element, would soon die of something and the element would quickly go to the next pony to posse the power of the element.

Therefore, Celestia didn’t give up, and hoped that one day that all the elements would be together, and she did, well, at least five of them. She could never find strength. That is the thing though.

You see, the night when I entered this universe, just happened to be the same night when the previous owner of the element, which keep in mind, he somehow knew of the element’s existence and he died.

Then the element then pretty much scanned the entire country of Equestria, with magic, and found me as the best candidate for the next element of strength.

However, I believe I do not want any more confusion over this, so let me tell you the previous owner of the element. He was running away from some group of colts, who really hated him and pretty much beat the hell out of him. He was not in trouble because he did not do anything bad, but let’s just say, that he knew of the element inside of him and that he represented it.

However, who wanted to spread the message around that there exists another group of elements, but unfortunately, no one believed, although some did, but those ponies are what we call escaped mental patients.

Anyways, a group loved the elements of Harmony so much, that they were dedicated to them and protected them against any sort of criticism that might be towards them.

Well, they saw this guy as a threat to the elements of Harmony and didn’t like it one bit. So, they gave him a warning, by slitting his girlfriend’s throat, skinning his cat and setting his house on fire. Yea, those rather remind me of those Bronies back on Earth who took everything really seriously, not fun, and who are assholes.

Well, the guy didn’t give up, but then he was given a last warning, and that last warning was toured him.

Well, he still did not stop, and that same night I went into the universe, he was pretty much a dead colt, and he did not make it unfortunately and he tried his best to run away, but the last thing he saw was the night’s stars and how it twinkled up above.

So, yea, ponies that saw the elements of Protection as a threat to the Elements of Harmony as a threat are pretty much assholes. I mean, they should not take everything seriously and let thing be what they need to be. However, have I encountered them?

Well…let’s just say, I made some sort of contact with them.

Well, that’s how I became the new element and shit.

However, after Celestia tracked down the five elements that she found, she then noticed that evil clone bitch of herself was plotting to come back, and soon, she understood what the colt was saying, because never really believed that the elements would be needed.

She always thought the element of Harmony could take care of almost everything, but in truth, it’s not all sunshine and happiness out there. There is some bad shit that can even destroy the Elements of harmony, but The Other Elements can handle it though.

Therefore, with Celestia afraid of when the evil clone bitch of returning, she was trying her best to find the element of strength, but could never find it, until after a few years at her school, she soon started to connect the dots and shit and figured that I was the element of strength.

Well, now you know, and the more you know.

As for what happened after we weakened the evil clone bitch, we saw the sun rose high in the sky, and Celestia came though a broken window and shit. She also had a smile on her face that said to me, ‘I’m so glad I did not destroy the elements.’

Although, I believe it should have been a trollestia smile. Anyways, evil clone bitch did go back inside Celestia and shit, and was once more a part of Celestia, although it kind of reminds me of Persona for some odd reason, and I can’t believe I’m making that kind of reference.

You got lucky Asians, you got lucky. Anyways, that shit happened, the town of stalia threw a party and shit, Luna, and Twilight were happy as well.
In addition, that part where I yelled at Celestia and how she did not hear me say a single word, yea, that part, I wasn’t lying about. I know, I am surprised.

Anyways, that is the 100% truth of what really happened the Everfree forest that night, and shit.

I thought I was going to get away with it and I would have had less work to do with the writing and shit, but at least you will not be confused anymore.

So, anyways, I’m still on that phoenix and shit, and now I believe I should start heading back to the castle, before Celestia and Luna figures out that I was gone and kick my ass. And before someone recreates an old school shooting from the 90's...since it's retro and stuff, we all did get back to Stalia for a celebration for defeating the evil clone along with staying in Stalia with my new 'friends.' Really there wasn't much to talk about, but you get the idea though...

Next Time:
Knight: Our purpose of being together has ended, but I am staying with my new friends. However, I am not sure why the universe is making relive the moments from the show, or making others hear something different when I don’t say the right words, but for now, I just have to play along with the universe until I have answers or my will is free.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 4: Apple Bucking a Douchebag

Episode 4: The Trolling Ticket Master

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Chapter 4, The Trolling Celestia and the Gala Tickets

Well, guess what, just like in the show, I was helping Mac Farmer buck some apples. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this.

Therefore, of course, since I was a Brony, I knew this was going to be the one where I receive two gala tickets, and I can go with one guess.

By the way, not to get off topic here, but I never understood, that in the show, when they go to the gala, you see them running off, but on the season finale, they go to the gala, and it’s like it’s there first time going there. I have no idea the timeline is for the show, which you think would be very straight forward but no. I don’t know, sometimes, I just wonders things.

So anyway, as I was saying, just I suspected I get a letter from Celestia, and she gives me two tickets to the Gala.

What a trolling bicth. She knows I have five friends, but she still sends me two tickets.

I also know she was planning this, so I could just send a letter to her, what I learned about friendship. Well, I’m one step ahead of her. What I did was go back to what the letter was when twilight sended them, but then replaced and added a view words here and there, so it’s like wrote my own letter and I actually learned something. In fact, I have them all pre- written, so all I have to do is sent the right one, and do nothing else.

Anyway, just like in the show, Rainbow Dash was listening, well, so was Forest Fire. He fell down from a cloud, which I still don’t know how we didn’t notice that cloud above us.

Well, if you remember how angry applejack was when rainbow dash was listening in, yea, Mac was well pissed off. He was so furious with Forest, he threatened him, but I found a way to calm him down.

I did it by saying forest had aids, and somehow he believed me, although Forest didn’t hear me, thank Celestia.
Well, I told them the two of them could have it, but they insisted I go, since I did get the letter from Celestia, but here’s the thing.

I don’t give two shits and one flaming fuck about some party, that’s not even a project X party, although I do have to admit, at times I do love a classy party at times, but most of the times, I like a project x one.

Now, if you recall how Twilight was hungry, well, I was hungry too, and the weird thing is, I ate already not too long ago. Either Celestia is doing it or the universe is. I also want to comment on how good the food here is.

As you may have guessed, the ponies are vegetarian, although pegisi do eat fish, and spike does meat as well as pinkie pie, but she’s special. In other words, pinkie Pie logic, just saying.

Anyway, I was walking home to get something to eat, which would have been a dandelion sandwich, which some ponies here eat.

Now I know how humans can’t eat flowers, because, if I can recall, we don’t have a specific gland. Well, I have that gland, but I’m pretty sure it’s because, I followed the rules of the universes.

As I was saying, I was walking home and then Neon Party bumped into me and saw I had a ticket. He then immediately assumed I was going to take him, and thanked me many of times for taking him.

All I can say is, I think he was high. I really do mean it. I saw weed from where he came from, which was the building he worked at. Besides, I was surprised that this universe had drugs, although later I found out it wasn’t illegal, nor was it well known.

So, then Classy Jack came and saw it, and he wanted to go. He said he wanted to go because he thinks he can sell his stuff, there at the Gala, while Neon Party just wants to have a party.

The others had reasons as well.

Forest wanted to meet the wonder bolts, and see Rainbow Dash of course.

Mac wanted to go, so he can outsell applejack, and Arrell wanted to go, because there are animals he hasn’t seen before, so at least the reasons are different, or somewhat different.

Oh, right, and Arrell saw the tickets because he saw Neon Party and Classy Jack.

Well, I told them to fuck off, and yet, they still didn’t hear what I said, although I think I did get a sort of a reaction from Neon Party, but I think he was still high, but I doubt it, because he was singing about going to the gala, like as much as Pinkie did in the episode.

Besides, if he were high while singing, he would’ve been singing slow ride.

Well, I went to the café, and I ordered hay fries, and to be honest with you, they don’t taste that bad, then again, I was a pony then and still now. Well, I had that, while wolf ordered some weird ass soup, which I have forgotten the name of, but still.

Another thing, you know how Twilight yelled at the waiter, because I didn’t. Literally. I didn’t even give a fuck about the tickets, because all I wanted to do was eat something, and then get back to the problem.

So, I did, until everyone ran for cover from the rain, but I frankly didn’t care because it’s hay fries.

it’s not going to get ruined by water, although, wolf was a little pissed off about the soup having rain water added to it, but he just said fuck it and moved on, which I was hoping he finally realized he was made of wood and didn’t need to eat, but yet, he still ate after words.

Seriously, I’m still freaked out that the fact that he’s made out of wood, he eats or even takes a piss for that matter. Then again, I just say to myself, its magic, even though I’m pretty sure it’s something else, but I just pretend it’s just magic.

Anyway, to my not so surprised look, when I found I wasn’t getting rained on, I looked to the skies, and saw Forest sitting there on the clouds.

He just told me how a friend of his souldn’t be out in the raining weather, which I then told him, he could have the ticket.

I remember the joy on his face, he was so happy. It’s sad and a little odd to say it but, he reminds me of Dashie from My Little Dashie, and I don’t really want to talk about it, because every time I think about, I cry so many manly tears.

Moving on, I then told, there was a catch, that he would had to compete with the others, not in a fight for my amusement, but I was going to give the guys the tickets, and let them decide among them who gets to go or not , which would probably end up in all of their deaths.

He then realized what I had said, and closed the cloud on me like a doucebag.

Well, I was just telling him the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.

Then, what do you know, Classy Jack was right next to me, and offered me to go with him back to his shop.

Just as in the show, he had something for me to wear to the Gala, even though I told him I’m not going, he still managed to say don’t be ridiculous.

Don’t be ridiculous, he says. How about this. Look at the one robot chicken episode; where it had that one skit where it was a little play, and it was called don’t be ridiculous. At the end, now that shit is ridiculous.

However, trust me, I can think of more ridiculous things, like Pinkie slowly floating up from a hole, while crazy shit is happening around her.

As I said before, Pinkie Pie physics, and I wouldn’t ask about if I was you.

So, he made me a nice suit, and I do have to admit, It was pretty cool, because, here’s the thing with me and suits.

It makes you look you know what you’re doing right from the spot, and it also makes you look like an important person, and business man, and it makes it look like you can handle money very well, but just my opinion.

He also made a suit for himself, which rather looked a little bit better than mine, to go to the Gala with me.
Well, since it looked better then mines, although that’s not the reason, the reason is that he thinks he can out do me, but let’s not get into that, and I walked out of the store

. Now, I know you think I’m arrogant, although, let’s be honest here, who isn’t or who hasn’t been arrogant, even if they didn’t show it. Rather reminds me that everybody is a little bit racist song, but I’m not, I just really, really, don’t give a flaming fuck about the Gala tickets.

So anyway, I was tired, and still hungry, cause I was pulled out from my hay fries, so I decided to end this thing once and for all, and demand Celestia give me more tickets to the Gala, by sending her letter.

Unfortunately, I said the word hungry aloud, Mac heard me, and he came up to me with a shit load of apples.

I don’t say this to sound mean, but he fucking applefied every single thing there was. Even sandwiches to hay for Celestia’s sake. How the hell do you even make apples with that. I don’t even understand, unless, it’s a apple family type thing, but still, although the apple pie was quite delicious, but still.

I then tried to run away from him, and wouldn’t you know arrell was in my home, cleaning. In addition, no, he was not singing the MLP theme, but he was telling the animals to clean the place, which I do have to admit, it’s very impressive the way he did. He even made one of his closest animals, which is a bunny,( angels twin?) make me a fucking salad.

Now, I’m not saying there’s nothing wrong with a salad, but why the hell would I give him a ticket to the gala just because he made me salad. If he was trying to do something that would make me take him to the Gala, he would had to do something better to do it.

However, since I don’t care about the Gala, I don’t give a fuck.

Therefore, I just slowly backed up, and what do you know, Neon Party got everyone in town and threw me up and down, saying how great I am, so I can give him the ticket.

Soon, everyone was so shocked what Neon Party said, that they all looked at him, with grins on all their faces. Then they started offering me some lazy exchanges for a ticket to the gala.

Therefore, what do I do, the only thing that was sensible and the only thing that I could think of. Run the fuck away, just like in the episode. Therefore, I ran like hell, and it turned into one of those Scooby doo chases if you can recall from the classic Scooby doo show. Even I was confused I ended in one place, and then on the opposite side. Therefore, I just deiced to teleport me and wolf back home.

We then turned off all the lights, and hoping not to be found.Then, what next came, I find my friends there waiting for me.
However, the important thing is, how the fuck, did they get into my house! I have the place locked up, and they are still inside. I think its Neon Party doing, which I think he can also defy all laws of physics, which note to self, study and stalk him later to find out.

so anyway, then I told everyone I don’t care about the Gala, and they can have the tickets, and then they said they were sorry, and didn’t want the ticket, although, like rainbow dash, forest thought he was going, which I wonder, did any of them heard what I said? Are they deaf? On the other hand, is it the universe refraining me from saying words, that wasn’t proper or doesn’t relate like in the show?

So at this point, I completely gave up, and did what I was trying to do all of this time, sending a letter.
I grabbed out one of the pre- written letters, and just pretended I was writing stuff down. I then placed the two tickets in the letter and sended off.

They did question why I didn’t keep them, but I was so tired of saying it, I just gave up, and a few seconds later, I received a letter from Celestia, with 6 tickets inside.

Therefore, I then gave the guys there tickets. I also gave wolf his ticket as well, cause like I said before, I don’t give a fuck, but then she sended another letter.

It said to give the ticket to wolf as well, and trust me, you can’t burn these tickets. I’ve tried it already. Soon, I just said fuck it and went joined the other guys running off randomly off into the distance.

Episode 5: TK's Return

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Chapter 5: the return of TK

You remember how I said how I never got the Gala thing from the show, well; I believe I finally figured it out.

I got the ticket in advanced, but that still doesn’t make sense to me, but remember, it’s My Little Pony, not the reality that we’re used to, or should I say, you guys are used to.

Trust me; I’ll explain it in the future.

Anyway, also, if you remember how I said how I tried to burn the ticket and it didn’t burn at all, and to which I said, it’s a ticket from hell. Ok then, maybe I went too far with that one, but still.

Well, good news, I found a way to burn it. It just took me sometime in the basement.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention this part of my house.

Ok, so when I moved in, I had a basement, however, it wasn’t that big, so I manually made one myself, with all the high tech technology, even far more advanced than your guys technology. Literally, it’s all computer and shit. It’s also access through a secret pad code I hide in the wall, or in other words, you know what, never mind. It’ll take too long to explain.

What I do down there is research ways to cure dieses, and I even have a cure for cancer, surprisingly. I don’t know if it works or not, because, if you remember I said I was immune to all diseases. I also found ways to turn me into a Pegasus, an Earth Pony, and even an Alicorn. Trust me, it was hard, but I got plenty of the stuff. I also make my own weapons, and study other shit that’s scientific.

I also have a secret hidden safe, which holds the most important of all items. One thing is The Knight suit.

Now, if you recall, how I said that TK is dead, and now is the new devil, and how TK has the suit he used to wear. Good news for me, I get to keep it and use it. However, I never used it then, because I wasn’t ready to use it yet, although I was trained in it. Besides, I only used it for emergencies. It’s because the knight suit is very strong.

I also have the book where I write down all the spells I made myself, or my own written magic. I also have some of my old journals, because , you see, before I came to the official MLP universe, I had written down all the different universe culture and many adventures I had through them as well.

I also have a way to get to the portal, which is in a cave, to get outside of the universe.

Anyway, as I was saying about the ticket, I found a way to burn my ticket with one of my inventions, and it burned like a mother fucker.

Now, just to make Celestia not suspicious of me when the Gala happens, I sent her a letter, telling how I lost my tickets and I will not be able to go to the Gala.

In addition, just to let you know, from what I know about the Gala tickets, once you loose one, you will not receive another one, until the following one.

Unfortunately, I was a fucking idiot, and forgot I was sending a letter to princess Celestia, the one who could do anything.

Go on guess. Guess what the fuck happened. I want you to guess, as a response.

Another fucking ticket!

In addition, I still remember the words I used that day, “oh look, another letter, probably saying how unfortunate… Oh shit fuck, another ticket.”

Yep. I even remember the letter that Celestia sended me, and I’m still surprised I even read it, because I don’t even open anything from Celestia.

I literally have a closest full of letters and packages from that I never opened, because I don’t trust a Trollestia.

To My faithful student

It is quiet unfortunate you lost your ticket, but you do not have to worry about not going to the Gala with your friends. I have sent you another ticket so you can go, and have a wonderful time. I also believe this time around, you won’t loose this ticket. If I may give you a word of advice, I f I were you, I would put this in a safe place until the Gala. I will also be looking forward to your visit in Cantorlot for the Gala. I also hope to see your next friendship letter very soon.

Princess Celestia

At the time, I was going, ‘great, just fucking great. She also expects me there.’

Therefore, I just ended up accepting my fate, because the way I see it, the sooner you accept something, the better off you’ll be, and I was going to the Gala.

Now, I know that’s not a bad thing. In fact, that can be a good thing, but to be honest with you, I really don’t care, so yea.

Therefore, you must be wondering how this isn’t just like in the show, well, don’t you think other stuff happens in between episodes?

However, this will not be in my perspective, for the most part, because, I wasn’t there. Therefore, here’s my buddy, although he doesn’t want to be called buddy, TK, or in other words, The Knight.

Perspective, TK:

I remember that fucking day as always.

I remember the fall we had.

Here’s the thing. After my creator, or knight as he likes to be called, came back from the place I shall not speak of, he continued his job for a while. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’ll will find out in time, with enough patience of course.

Therefore, he asked me to escort him to the Everfree forest, because the portal ended nowhere near the Everfree. In fact, it landed into dangerous territory, that if he went by himself, he would’ve died. He wasn’t strong enough yet to handle it.

Therefore, I decided to escort him, and let’s just say that TF escaped from his universe, and went after us.

As he did, near the end of both of our journey, he did something that knight likes to call, The Fall. Let’s just say shit happened.

I was teleported back off the grid, and TF and knight was still in the universe. I tried to go back, but TF put a resistance aura around the portal, so I couldn’t go back. Only days later, the aura wore off, and I was able to go back.

As I was going, TF returned, and I ordered two of my toughest minion guards to seize him, so I could interrogate him. He then told me all I needed to hear, and ordered the guards to put him back in the universe where he belonged until I got back.

I went through the portal and fortunate enough, a portal was opened in another location; however, the portal led me to a location, to where the portal was only in a small room. I then discovered, I was in a cave. There were something’s only knight would have, and I used one of my demon spells to show me what happened in the past, as if I was watching a movie.

I saw everything that had happened, even when Celestia found him and took him, along with the timber wolf he had. I then followed where the images took me, and it led me right into Ponyville.

I knew ponies were eyeing me, but I never cared anything about that.

Even back in my universe, I never cared. At this point, I was a pony, not sure which breed I was, but never cared, and wasn’t interested in finding out.

I then saw the images took me to a treehouse library, where the one named Twilight lives.

I saw everything happen inside, through the windows. I even knew a crowd was around me, as if I was making a scene.

Soon, I heard Twilights voice and Celestia right behind her. I knew they were there, but I never turned around to even steal a glance.

As soon as the images went away into the sky, I then asked one of them where was knight. Celestia then asked why I asked and why I wanted him.

Therefore, I just continued to demand an answer, and soon, with enough patience, I was given the answer. They told me he was at Stalia, and I went through the Everfree forest.

I have a map system that takes a very quick scan of the world I was in, and mapped out the entire place that I could map, and even give me any information I needed. Trust me; It’s very far advanced technology.

I trekked through the Everfree, even though I knew Celestia and Twilight were following me. They could follow me all they want, along as they don’t get in my way.

A few animals tried to attack me, but I quickly killed them and moved on.

Soon, I was in Stalia.

I then asked two stallions, which turned out to be knight’s friends, Classy Jack and Forest Fire. They immediately told me where to find him, and I went along where they pointed.

I then soon found another library, and knocked. Soon, knight answered the door. He then…

Perspective, Knight:
Yes, I can take it from here TK. Anyway, TK knocked on the door, and I opened to my surprise on seeing him.

I quickly let him in and closed the door behind him. He then asked what happened to me, and as soon I was about to open my mouth, Celestia and Twilight knocked. I soon open the door, and questioned if I was ok.

I then replied with a nod, and asked me who was the pony that they followed. I then told them that he’s an old friends of mine, with weird looks on their faces as well. I then asked why, and responded back with, ‘since I was Celestia’s personal student, and a royal subject of hers, she wanted to make sure I was safe and sound.’

Well, I then show them the door, and locked to continue the conversation.

TK then asked about the personal student thing, and I told him it was a long story. In addition, I told him if he wanted to know a little more, I told him to watch the show, which he then said, ok, but only to know what will happen to me in the future, because I did tell him that history was repeating itself.

I showed him around in the basement I built, and gave a nod, and went back to the universes.

In addition, I later found out that Celestia was still suspicious about TK. She then sent out twilight, to ask me and tell all I can about TK and his origins, or at least when we first met.

When Twilight asked about the questions, I then told her Celestia doesn’t need to worry about it, which I then got a letter from her. It was about how she’ll back off, but is still worried about me and my safety.

By the way, one other team member from my first generation team was still alive, and it was Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, long story about that one.

I should also explain about the team thing.

Ok, when I opened up all the portals to my own universes, I created a team, into helping and protecting the entire universal grid from anything that meant harm.

At first, it was going to be easy, but I then made many enemies that way, so yea. Soon, they all fell, and I don’t really don’t want to talk about it. I also don’t blame myself that they died, because I knew they were going to die in the first place.

I knew because I made their universe fall, but let’s not get into that.

Therefore, only me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory were still alive from the 1st generation team, and the Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory thing, is another story for another time.

Anyway, like I was saying before, I showed and told her where I was, just in case she needed help from me.

Episode 6: Apple Bucking a Doucebag

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Chapter 6: Mac Famers jealousy

This one was from the show, or in other words, season one, episode four.

Therefore, you think that Mac needs help with the apple bucking of the apple trees, but from what I found out, that applejack was planning to break the equestrian record of fastest apple bucking.

She was going to do it by herself, and keep in mind, anyone who was going against her, didn’t have to do it alone, and get help. Well, applejack was going to do it the entire apple acre farm.

Well, to my surprise, Mac was really pissed off by this, and was planning on out doing her. He quickly got one of the judges that was judging applejacks side, and was going to compete against her.

Of course, nobody gave a dam, expect for the entire town. They finally figured out that the only way that somepony might actually figure this place actually exist, if they have someone famous for breaking a record, or at least tried to break a record.

Of course, both of them had unlimited amount of time, or at least 1 week that is.

So, Mac got straight to starting to apple bucking, but of course, he forgot he had plans to help his friends out. In fact, everyone knew he wasn’t going to make it, because he had a little ceremony, made by the mare the was mayor, and told how he was going to do the record. Unfortunately, my friends didn’t realize, they made everyone doubt him, because my friends told everyone how he so amazing and how they made plans with him. I was also put on stage, engorged to say a few words to him before he begins, but all I said was, ‘you’re fucked’.

Not only that happened, but also Mac stayed up all night practicing, he didn’t get any sleep, so he was going to be tried doing this. Therefore, the bucking of the apples began.

After awhile, he noticed the time, which he knows by the sun I guess, I really don’t have a clue how, but, he noticed the time and left to go with forest. Forest was planning doing things with him, and he was trying to break a record.

You see, when forest heard about Mac breaking a record, he started figuring out, that if he did what Mac, rainbow dash might notice him, and might end up joining the wonder bolts, but he doubt it, but he was trying to get rainbow dash to notice him though.

Even if he didn’t, he would’ve been fine with just breaking a record, but of course he needed practice, and that’s what he needed Mac for.

He was going to try to break the weirdest record I’ve heard, and that’s the highest Pegasus that jumped in the air, without using wings, and doing the most craziest and dangerous tricks in the air in I minute.

In addition, forest was trying to attempt it. Yea, that would defiantly get him into the wonder bolts, too bad he would be dead by then because of the stupidity of doing something like that, but hey, I’m not the pony who thinks its jackass or something.

Therefore, Mac tried, and kept missing because he was so tried, but eventually, he did, but of course as I was expecting, forest wasn’t even prepared, and he crashed through my window.

He also paid for the window, but he still blames Mac for it because it was his fault because he wasn’t prepared for it, just like rainbow dash in the episode. Yea, I also said Mac owes me weed money, because when forest came through my window, wolf and I was smoking weed and forest destroyed the weed and unfortunately, the weed was unsmokeable.

so yea. Therefore, I decided to have a talk with Mac, because I was going to help him get through the apple bucking because, I seriously didn’t want to go through just like in the episode, but he turned my offer down, and said he needed to beat his cousin fairly.

Therefore, I then thought that the universe really wants stuff to happen just like in the show. In other words, I either do it the easy way, which is letting it happen without trying to resist it, or resist it. I just said fuck it and kept trying, even though there’s no point to it.

So after awhile, or in other words, the next day, he went to neon parties party shop, or though technically, helping out the owners of the shop, and just living there just like pinkie Pie, but still, the party shop to help him bake party goods, or cakes or something sweet like for a party for ponies.

Now the party shop just doesn’t sell baked goods, but it also sells party supplies and neon’s services to throw a party, as well as party music, or in other words, dustup, or whatever they call it here, I really don’t care.

So, Mac went to help neon, and of course, just like in the show, he messed up the food, or cupcakes I think he messed up. Instead of worms and other ingredients that do not go together, he put something else.

Now, at first, I didn’t know what he put in, but later I found out what it was, and I prefer not to talk about. Let’s just say, it was food poisoning, and I’m still shocked that the ponies are still alive after what the just ate, because I’m filmier with the food poisoning, in it would kill you within seconds.

I don’t know what happened, maybe the other stuff Mac mixed the cupcakes might’ve created an antidote, but still.
Well, he continued, and once again, I returned with the offer of help, and he shot it down once again.

Later, he went to classy jacks place to help him with some of the suits, and from what I have heard, one minute jack was out of the room, getting some stuff, and after a few seconds after he left.

When he came back, Mac was on the ground sleeping, and the room was on fire. He was lucky it didn’t even spread.
Well, I soon went up to him one last time to talk to him.

Now, if you remember when applejack kept mishearing Twilight in the episode, let me tell, he also misheard me, but the stuff that he thought he heard was ridiculous.

One of them was he thought he heard me say ‘where can I fuck a donkey, while eating honey out of a baboons asshole, while juggling 8 fireballs, 11 bats, and 5 axes, while skinning a gorilla alive, while doing a dance on top of a polar bears body, while singing a song that’s called don’t stop me now, ( which to be clear he never heard of, but he thought there was a song called that out there in Equestria), while becoming a shark, while shaking palm trees to get trains down and put the trains in a apple and wait for turkeys to come eat the apple, and then watch as the turkeys go up waterfalls and get them down, by collecting monkey butts and drop the monkey butts on a electrical current.'

I have no response to this, but to be clear, he did ask some weird stuff, that he thought he heard from me, and all I said was he needed help. Mental and physically. Where did he get that Idea, I will never know, but still.

Well, the last thing he did was go to Arrell’s for a visit, and help breed some of the animals.

. Well, from what I’ve heard, Arrell, had to go do something, so he left Mac to do his business alone, right. Well, when he came back, what he saw was animals having origied. There was cum all over the place, some of the animals were beating the hell out of each other because Mac put the wrong animals together, like a bunny and a bear, along with a lion, and I’m not sure. I believe I also heard somewhere that the animals were doing the 69.

You could just tell Mac was not right in the head, and you could clearly see he was very tried.

In fact, this all happened in a course of 3 or 4 days.

So I just got fed up of hearing all the ridiculous stories and what Mac was doing, that I got with my friends, told Mac, he was going to die if he didn’t take a break, or in other words, say we were magical ponies that if he didn’t do what we say, we would kill him.

Therefore, he just stepped aside while we finished up his work, and what do you know, Mac defeated applejack, but he didn’t beat the world record, but still defeated applejack.

When we told this to Mac, and we told him he did finish the apple orchard, but he forgot what happened, he was so proud of himself, he was going to rub this in applejacks face.

Now, I stopped him before he could even get out of his house, because, I didn’t want to see him in the hospital, and hear he burned the hospital down, because if the hospital is going to be burned down, it’s either going to be me, or the joker from the dark knight.

Second, even though applejack was my fifth favorite pony, I still cared about the ones that was my least favorite, because they’re still ponies, not worthless pieces of shit that we can abuse whenever we want.

Those types of people are for, well, I’m not going to say it, because if I do, I’m probably going get my ass kicked by them.

let’s just say it’s anonymous, But I’ll give you a hint, it’s NOT from Earth, but from Equestria, and if someone does read this that’s not you guys, I’ll probably be in trouble.

Episode 7: The Day the Doctor rules the town

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Chapter 7: Doctor Whooves Comes to Town.

Well, it was a glorious morning in Stalia.

The birds were chirping. The sky was clear, the ponies were all out of bed, and frogs were humping birds. That’s right, frogs were humping birds.

In addition, apparently, the animals from the Everfree were not good at all. In fact, there was something wrong going on, that Twilight had to come and give a report to the princess.

Now, if you’re thinking that the problem is that the animals are having an orgy, then you are a sick fuck for thinking that. Besides, there’s no reason to think that, because if you read the last chapter, you would know we have something like that already, and his name his Mac.

So, Twilight came for a visit, and was going to stay a few days, because she also wanted to try to figure the problem out, but of course she would have the send the letter out to the princess first, but still wanted to do some scientific research. Therefore, what do you think where she goes to.

Me of course.

Why couldn’t she just stay in Ponyville and have a chariot drop her off whenever she needed to. I mean sure, Ponyville is a few hundred, maybe a thousand miles away, I’m not so sure because I never bothered to look it up, but she still could’ve though.

So she asked me if she could stay at my house while she was there, and I would’ve said no, not to be mean, but because I don’t want to take chances of her snooping around my home and figuring out where I really came from.
It’s quite obvious if you think about, because Twilight will always try to find out what’s happening when somethi

ng is up. Besides, I can’t let Twilight find out, because then I don’t know what would happen, but I’m afraid it can’t be a good thing. Although, Celestia can’t really kick me out, because remember, I’m one of the elements, and if they need to use it, they would need me.

Therefore, I can’t tell her…. Yet, and when I mean by yet, I mean by when the time is right, she will then know. Nevertheless, of course, since this is MLP and I do sort of have to stick to the Brony code a little bit, although I always found myself as a different type of Brony like a Brony who isn’t afraid to kill, but likes My Little Pony, but still.

So anyway, she came up to me for a place to stay, I said she could. I had a few empty rooms, because I only needed one room, but it came with two more, and I was able to finish one up as a guest bedroom, so I gladly offered it.

She also brought spike along, then again, I can’t complain since spike is her number one assistant. Spike even thought that wolf was my number one assistant, but wolf told him he’s not, and is there because I’m the only one who ever took care of him and his only friend.

That’s not to say he has other friends, but as a friend he can depend on. Sure, he can also on the others, but still, that and we’ve been best buds for years, so yea.

Therefore, Twilight arrived at my house late one night, I think at seven or maybe a bit later, I couldn’t tell, because she had to a little business to take care of.

Well, I then showed her around the place, and guess who showed up, TK.

Yea, she was a little shocked, but I had forgotten I invited him over because I had to talk to him about stuff, as in off the grid stuff.

Well, I calmed her down, but she was still little angry, which I asked her what she has against TK, and she said she has nothing against him, but I could tell she was lying, and didn’t want to simply tell the truth right away, so I knew I had to get the truth out of her soon somehow.

I then showed her to her bedroom to unpack, and TK and I went to that basement I made, although from now on, I’m just going to call it basement, because I will just barley mention the other basement. Besides, the other basement is where I put my weed and beer at. That and other shit I don’t have a use for.

Therefore, I opened the secret door, which is right in front of my door to be specific.

You see, I have the secret doo to the basement right in front of the front door, and have the keypad to unlock. And just to mention this, but my house is a two story building, but just thought worth motioning, because I think it’s going to be somewhere in the story in the future.

Anyways, I went to the basement to talk about the stuff, and when I mentioned how twilight snoops around, she really snoops around, because she saw the basement, but luckily, I have the most important stuff hidden away in a vault that I only know the code to.

She was so simply amazed in shocked at the same time and questioned to what the basement was. I then soon explained everything to her, how I manually built this place, with all the resources I had, and how I have the syringes, and what I look up and test, although I left out the part from the other universes, but still.

I also make my own weapons down there, and told her those were the rarest types of weapons, that very few ponies have, and I was being serious about that.

I found some ponies with the guns or from they have told, a shooty thingy. to which I then found out, a stallion gave it to them, and if they ever saw me, kill me with it, but of course, I knew it was TF, and of course, since he wasn’t a Brony, he didn’t understand that most of these ponies do not kill, so they gladly gave it to me, with no questions asked.

However, I believe some might’ve kept it to themselves, but I’m not sure, but I don’t think it would be a problem, because I have all the ammo with me, and they wouldn’t know how to use it even.

Well I also told Twilight, how this can be a game changer to battle and fights. I also begged her not to tell Celestia, because if she would ever find out, the weapons would be taken away, and taken to a secret place in Cantorlot.

If someone ever found out, to say like the changeling queen, she would find a way to steal it, and use it against Celestia and possibly kill us all. The only safe spot would be here, because it would be hard to break into the basement.

So she pinkie promised not to tell, but only if I told her all of the scientific research I found and how I made the weapons possible, not that she was interested into guns, but just curious on how they work.

I then agreed, and Twilight left TK and I to continue our conversation. We were basically talking about one of the universes having one of my old enemies come to this universe, and one would have an armada, and we discussed battle plans, for Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory to the lead the army.

Yea, forgot to mention. since the Rainbow Dash is in charge of the Rainbow Factory part of the weather factory, she had a separate factory for it now, and since she was trained by TK.

She was also gained forces of ponies to command an army, so yea.

You have me who is very welled skilled, who have guns and makes his own weapons, and also knows how to use very powerful unicorn magic. That can also use the knight suit, and has off the grid powers that can be used on the grid for a short period of time, ( or at leat not anymore), and knows how to use it.

You also have TK, who has the knight suit still on, who also commands an army of demons, and have devil powers, and can sometimes use, depending on the situation, gods angels to fight.

Then you have Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, who has the same skills from TK, and can use some of the off the grid powers, and commands an army.

Put us together, and we are fucking bad asses.

I just always wanted to say or write it down in this case.

Therefore, it was morning, and spike then woke up and fixed breakfast, although he was having a hard time trying to find something to fix him and Twilight, but I helped him out.

He also thought there was a fire going on because he saw us smoking, but I then explained it was weed, and shrugged it off, although he had a little worried look on his face.

Even Twilight was surprised, and she knew some of the damaging effects that weed can cause. However, I told it was fine, because I somehow never get any of the damaging effects from weed, somehow, and wolf is made out of woods, so she shrugged it off as well.

She then later told me she couldn’t believe how, I, a personal, well educated, and a wonderful faithful student of princess Celestia, who also stopped her evil clone, and made that amazing basement, would be smoking weed.

I just ignored her commit. She then asked me for help with her studying and examining about the animal problem, and I gladly said yes, although I didn’t have anything else going on.

I know I’m a Brony, and I should be excited about his, but I’m really not.

I mean, one, it’s not Rainbow Dash, although Twilight is ok in my opinion.

Two, I‘ve been here for a while now, and It was really getting old.

In addition, three, back on earth, I said to myself, that if I was ever able to go to the MLP universe, I would like to just be friends with them.

Not be all up in their faces saying how great they are. That and also explore their amazing world beyond our own, or should I say beyond your own, because at this point, things have change, but I’ll tell you guys what that means in the future, but for now, let’s continue.

Therefore, Twilight and I were walking to the edge of the Everfree, and my friends spotted us, and were in shock.
Of course, they kneeled down to her since she was a princess after all, and they started asking questions on how we knew each other.

In addition, I think forest went up to her and ask if Rainbow is seeing anyone, which I don’t know what happened to that conversation, but moving on.

From what I saw Twilight was doing, she was giving specific details on what the animals were doing, and even I didn’t know what was going on, because I have some powers, or whatever you want to call them, on controlling the animals of the Everfree, but they weren’t responding to me.

I mean, wolf and I sometimes come up here from time to time, and I never had a problem and not one of them disobeying orders from me, although Twilight didn’t know that of course, nor did anyone know that.

She then listed the symptoms to whatever was making the animals what they were doing, which were unusual things, like mating, but with unusual other animals, or being more aggressive, or not doing what the animals do naturally, like dig random holes.

For a while, she was taking notes, and wrote down some theories that she had.

Then she rolled up the letter and headed back to the house to give to spike so he could send it off, because we left wolf and spike back at home.

Twilight also asked me to stay and look after a machine she had that would pick up anything that was unusual, and I said yes, just because I didn’t want to be mean to her.

Therefore, I got fucking stuck on watching duty, and nothing fucking happened the entire night.

As I was just going to give up and go back home to go to sleep, I saw a thing fading into existence, and the machine was going ape shit.

As the thing stopped fading in and out, I then recognized it as the tarturis, and my mouth was open, and then at the very moment, Doctor Whooves, that one from doctor whooves and the assistant I might add, and Derpy come on walking out.

They stood there, questing why the TARDIS sent them there, and I quickly rushed up to them.

They then asked where they were and how did I know they’re names. I just said I knew, and I was from another universe, of course, the Doctor didn’t believe me at first, but I told him I had proof and I snucked them back to the hidden basement and showed.

That defiantly grabbed their attention.

They then started to ask me questions and I answered as much as possible.

Now, of course, TK found about within about an hour or so, but he was a little pissed off at me. I explained to him how they won’t say a word about it, and how he travels to other universes as well. He then let the subject pass, and moved on to other things, like going to talk to Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory.

Well, he then was still confused, because since the TARDIS only goes to places where there is trouble, I think.

I never watched Doctor Who back on earth, because I didn’t know where to start on the show. There was too many of them.

Well, I offered a non finished guess room to stay in, or at least until we can figure out what is happening in Stalia. He did accept the offer, and I gave him a bed for him and Derpy, but only because that’s the only thing I had for the other room.
It takes time to furnish a room, ok.

Besides, Doctor Whooves and Derpy is more like a couple together, then again, why the fuck would I be talking about romance.

Besides, I don’t even believe in love. I have reasons for them, but still. I never fallen in love with someone nor fallen in someone because the chick is hot, which means I would still be a virgin, but I don’t care if I’m a virgin or not. Besides, Jesus was a virgin, and if you hate me, you hate Jesus, or is the weed finally coming to me now.

Then again, I am half-sober when I’m ever drunk as shit.

The next morning, Twilight was shocked when she saw me on the couch sleeping, and to tell why I didn’t sleep in my bed, I was right about the weed finally getting to me, and I had a hangover. I also might’ve had an orgy over at my place with random animals and ponies, because I found semen everywhere, or was that me?

Then again, I haven’t masturbated ever since I was 14, but still though, it’s weird.

I will possibly find out later when ponies come up to me and saying how much fun they had at my place.

Well, I then ordered spike and wolf to clean up the mess, while Twilight and I talked. While we were talking, Doctor Whooves came down the stairs to ask for some muffins, and Twilight was in shock we had another guess.

I just stood there with a poker face and said we had no muffins.

In fact, at that time, I didn’t even knew what we even had. I don’t even shop for the food, because I make wolf do that, while I smoke weed and get drunk off my ass.

Moreover, if you’re shocked of this is how I am, and I’m supposed to be this badass who fought enemies and suffered the worst anyone has in their life. Well, this is me. I’ve been doing this ever since I discovered the portal.

Besides, there’s nothing to do around the house. I mean, there’s no TV or anything, but I still somehow find a way to get through it.

You want to know the secret, I don’t really use technology that much.

Sure, I make my own weapons, but that’s only when I have the supplies. If I’m in the forest, and I’m defenseless, I make my weapons whatever I got.

Therefore, continuing on, I then started to open up all the coverers and surprisingly I found muffin mix. I then gave the box to Doctor Whooves and told him to fix it.

I know I’m not being a good host, but I really am not a good cook.

Even if there were directions on the box, I’ll still find a way to burn it.

Well, after the doctor went into the kitchen, Twilight just gave me a look that said, ‘what the fuck’. I just simply told her what happened, and even she didn’t believe me.

Well, after the Doctor fixed the muffins, the Doctor released a beast into my home. Trust me, it’ll be like a horror movie, for muffins.

Once the smell of muffins came out of the oven, Derpy smelled it, and came crashing through the door and almost destroyed the walls.

In addition, in a blink of an eye, she was devouring the muffins whole. I knew Derpy loves muffins, but this was so fucking messed up.

Moreover, for some odd reason, and I don’t know what drove her to do it, but Derpy started to shove the muffins up her asshole.

It was so disturbing, that we all slowly walked backwards and ran out the door before you can say fuck.

I then locked the door so Derpy could finish her “business” in private, and we all agreed to never speak of that again. I even have nightmares about that. Wolf too, although it seems he enjoys it.

I’ll tell you, that I will never understand wolf. He may be my friend, but I’ll never understand him.

So, while Derpy was doing her uh…. Thing, Doctor Whooves offered to give twilight proof about the TARDIS.

Twilight happily accepted the offer, and I believe she thought she was going to be right, and act if I was in idiot for believing the Doctor.

When we got to the edge of the Everfree, we stumbled upon the machine that Twilight made, and found it destroyed.

It was unfortunate for Twilight, because she said she worked on it for years, but I simply offered to fix it. I even told her I could fix it within one to two days.

She looked at me as if I was crazy, because later she said it would be almost impossible to get the parts for it, but I soon showed her and gave her the machine repaired, and I even upgraded for her, and she still is shocked I did it.

It is obvious, because I make my own weapons and technology, but she still is shocked.

Well, the Doctor showed her the TARDIS, and Twilight was in shock, that she fainted.

We brought her to the hospital, because I don’t think it would be a safe bet to go back home just yet while Derpy is still there. She soon woke up, and looked at Whooves with wide eyes.

She then said she would have to report this to the princess, and she wrote a letter immediately, and spike sent it. I was surprised how no one tried to stop her, but ok then.

After the doctor gave the clear for her to go, even though she had nothing wrong with her.

We just told a lie to the doctor that she had aids, and after she woke up, we just told them she had magical aids, that disappeared and they believed it.

What a bunch of stupid dumbasses.

As we walked outside, we came across a little problem.

We found a Derpy outline through my door.

Then we noticed the entire pony citizens yelling and screaming as Derpy tried to devour all the muffin in sight.

I do have to admit, she really loves those muffins. I also feel kind of guilty of leaving Derpy in my house alone.

What we should’ve done is tie her down, and put her in a snow globe, just like in season 2 episode 18, where the part where pinky found the donkey’s snow globe, and it had a Derpy in it. We would keep her there until she was rehabilitated and ready to rejoin society. We could even get maybe Morgan Freeman from another universe to help. Besides, she really has a muffin problem. In fact, the muffin problem is just as a big of a problem as the cookie monster has the cookie problem.
Well, we just acted as if everything was normal, well, except for Twilight. She tried her best to calm Derpy down, but it lead her to being knocked consciences.

So we were here, in the middle of town, with Derpy rampaging through the town, trying to shove muffins up her ass and devour all the muffins all insight, while we have an unconsciences princess, which might piss off Celestia a bit, with a pony from another world.

In addition, to put on top of all of this, we still had the weird animal problem in the Everfree forest.

This was just fucking great.

Also, if you were wondering where were my friends were at during this time, they were at the bar.

Yea, apparently the bar is the only place that was not burning, or destroyed by Derpy.

Then all of a sudden, a chariot appeared, and Celestia was on it. She landed down with wide eyes. She then stepped down off the chariot and the flyers flew off like hell. I could just imagine what they were thinking, which would just simply be, what the fuck.

Celestia was about to speak, but I cut her off and said don’t ask. She then tried to check if Twilight was ok, and fortunately, she was.

However, she was still unconsciences, and would have to be brought back home to rest, and spike offered of taking her.
Therefore, spike went off to bring her back home, but at this point, I was wondering, and it is somewhat of a sick question, but is spike going to rape her. I mean, I know he loves rarity, but when is he going to hit on her.

I mean, this would be his only chance he will have of doing it, but I don’t want to know.

After we could no longer see spike, Celestia put a sleeping spell on Derpy, and was about ask what had happened, but I told her don’t ask once more.

She then explained how she got the letter explaining how a pony from another world is here, and Doctor Whooves explained himself. She then asked Doctor Whooves to come along with her to speak in private. She then asked me to check up on Twilight, even though spike was with her.

I’m pretty sure we both had out suspicions about spike raping her.

Wolf and I walked back to the house, and when we walked in, it was a complete mess. Not only the orgy stains were still there, but there was shit mixed with muffins everywhere as well.

I also think there was an unborn fetus just lying on the ground!

Then out of nowhere, my friends came up to me with what the fuck looks on their faces.

They then asked what they missed, but I ignored them, because I was too shocked to even answer them.

I then told wolf to clean it up, and of course he was a little pissed off, but he did what he was told, because I said after all of this is fixed, I promised some weed.

The thing is, we just don’t normally smoke weed that often, since it’s somewhat hard to get here. Not that it’s expensive, but you would have to find it in forests, but I was working on cloning the weed, so we would of unlimited amount of weed, and it was going very well.

I then walked up stairs to check on Twilight, and when I mean by that, I mean to see if spike is raping her or not. As I opened the door to the guest room, spike wasn’t raping her, and I thought I was thinking too deep into this.

As I walked into the room, Twilight woke up, and said, “What happened, and why do I feel like I got violated.”

I then stared at spike, and he just smiled with a nervous grin on his face.

I then walked back down stairs, not to my surprise, wolf was finished cleaning.

I say not, because if you offer him weed, beer, or both, he’ll get the job done very fast, and good. Although, I don’t want to know where he put the unborn fetus at, but I think I have an idea. I believe he put it into our neighbors mailbox.

I then gave him the weed, and he was acting if it was his precious, like that gremlin guy from lord of the rings.

Now, I know that’s not his name, but I never watched lord of the rings. I just know that little midget that says my precious all the time. I believe he’s a midget, or sorry, if I’m being offensive here, I really don’t give a fuck, but if I do have to be PC, then fun size I guess would be the correct term to use here.

After me and my friends sat there and watched wolf smoke weed, Celestia and Doctor Whooves came in, while Celestia holding Derpy in a levitation spell.

I then asked the doctor what the princess told him, and he replied he with the princess asking about the TARDIS and where he came from.

All the princess said was, he was welcome to Equestria anytime.

I then had a poker face, because that doesn’t seem to be a reason why to have a private conversation, then again, it was to determine if he could stay here or not.

Celestia also put the sleeping Derpy down on my couch and asked where to find Twilight. I then told her she was in her guess bedroom, and she was surprised this place had a guess bedroom.

In addition, I thought she knew.

So it clearly means, that she didn’t try her best to get me a home that wasn’t a library.

Fucking Trollelestia.

Therefore, after I told her where to find Twilight, the Doctor and I slowly came up to Derpy, trying not wake her up, and tie her up.

We were successful, but she woke up, and was still the beast who wanted to shove muffins up her ass.

I then went to check up on Celestia and Twilight, and when I got up there, Twilight asked me to finish up her assignment, because she didn’t feel she could from the concussion Derpy gave her.

I realize how strong Derpy was. I mean, if she could knock out an Alicon, who are basically strong, I’m afraid what she would do to a normal pony, like an earth pony.

I said yes to help her, and she would be in my house until I get the job done.

I then thought, maybe I can offer weed and beer to wolf if he can do it, but I just said fuck it and moved on with life.

At the time, Luna’s moon was about to rise, and the ponies of Stalia were about to come out of their homes and try to fix up most of the damage as most as possible, since it was starting to get dark.

The Doctor, wolf, and I were walking the streets so we could go to the Everfree forest. While we were walking, what we saw was like a war zone.

I don’t know what Derpy did, but the only building that’s seemed to be perfectly normal, was the bar.

I mean the destruction was so devastating, and it was unbelievable. I also saw a newspaper that said 11 dead from a mysterious attacker.

Now, I know Derpy never meant to kill tem, in fact, I don’t think she killed them at all, but as the ponies were trying to run away, they might’ve just gotten stuck in place where they died, but not by Derpy’s hooves.

I can just imagine, if they had TV, they would have a news station that would have a Derpy image, with ‘never forget’ as the message.

I know it’s only 11 dead, and not that big of disasters as other ones are, but this is the My Little Pony universe, and there are not too many death’s here, but if there are, its either by old age, or some sort of disease, not a pony killing another pony.

Well, we then finally got out of town, and into the Everfree forest. I told wolf and Whooves we were going to sit here all night, and see what was causing the animals to do weird things.

If you’ve forgotten about the animal problem, you’re not the only one. I forgot as well, but only because there was Doctor Whooves showing up, Twilight fainting, Derpy going berserk (maybe a psychopath?), spike raping Twilight, and the weird orgy I found in the living room this morning, and the unborn fetus.

Well, fortunately, we found the source, and it was an old monster from another universe that the Doctor recognized.
Soon, the Doctor and the weird beast were fighting each other off.

Eventually, the Doctor won the battle, but killed many animals while trying to fight. He didn’t do it on purpose, but the animals got in the way.

Well, as dawn broke, we walked back home, while dragging the dead beast’s body with us. As we walked into the house, we found Celestia in my living room, because she was sent to grab something for Twilight.

Therefore, we walked in, and we dropped the dead body right in front of her, with a what the fuck look on her face. We then explained what happened, and was a little relived that the animal problem was solved, although she couldn’t help it, but she felt guilty of causing harm here, because she sent Twilight here.

It does make sense, because if you think about it, it’s somewhat of a chain reaction.

If Twilight was never here, then I would have never gone with her to the Everfree forest, because I really don’t care about the animals have an orgy or not. it’s their business, not ours.

Then, she would have never told me to stay there with the machine for the night, and I would have never met Doctor Whooves, because, good news is, he joined the team.

What I mean by that is, he joined me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory. However, he couldn’t stay there and had to go back to the TARDIS, so I gave him a device, where I or he can teleport himself here for anything.

After the Doctor and Derpy left (Derpy went back to normal after the muffin craving went away and we will never forget what happened when she did.), Twilight thanked me for letting her stay at my house and left, and the door was finally fixed.

I then went back to the life I was had before Twilight came. I went back to smoking weed and getting drunk, although, I only get half drunk, but still. I did this as I waited for the next thing to be repeated, which was season 1 episode 6.

Episode 8: Griffon the Douche

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Chapter 8: The Griffin Problem.

After the events of Doctor Whooves, I didn’t have to wait too long before the next thing got repeated.

So heres what happened. I was at the park with Neon, which I was invited by him to come. Since I didn’t feel like smoking weed, and besides, I smoked weed that very morning.

I call it my morning weed.

Anyways, I decided to bring a book along, since my house is a fucking library after all.

After Neon was talking for a while, I got bored with him, and decided to just read. Therefore, I read and read, while Neon kept mumbling on about stuff, that I don’t even know if it was even relevant to the universe, but ok then.

Then Neon spotted Forest, and Forest tried his best to fly away, but Neon was an earth pony, and was the Pinkie Pie of this group of friends, so of course he was able to keep up with Forest.

From what I’ve known, Forest kept flying away, but couldn’t escape Neon.

Eventually, Forest hit a mountain, and Neon Party said he was tiring to warn him. Yea, I’ll believe that when Pinkie Pie and Neon Party starts following the laws of physics.

I’m pretty sure Neon was to distract Forest and he’ll get hurt, which will then amuse Neon. That or Neon was to distract Forest, so he will later kill him and harvest his organs, much like in the fanfic Cupcakes. I’m pretty sure it was for Neon to get a good laugh, because I found out neon laughed so much that day, he got the aids somehow, but then cured itself.

First off, don’t ask me how he got aids just from fucking laughing.

Second, aids that cure itself. That seems interesting, and something i will never understand. I mean, I know that the aids exist here, just like other dieses, and no diseases cure itself. The reason I say that, that you can guess it was magic, but no. apparently, Pinkie Pie and Neon Party are like god like beings.

Well that, and there’s me, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence.

So, there’s about six gods here.

Three are rulers, two just does whatever the fuck they want to, and one really has no fucking clue what’s going on.

Later that day, after Neon was relished from the hospital on how the aids he had cured itself, he started asking everyone where Forest was. I then simply thought, if I had to guess, he wanted to see Forest be set on fire while flying really fast, since fire is his last name, which he will then laugh his ass off, and get diabetes. Then he’ll go to the hospital, and has a cure for diabetes, but letting the thing cure itself.

I was then half-right at that (I’m pretty sure you know which one I was right on).

Anyway, I told Neon that Forest was on the clouds, and then Forest went so fast, it reminds me of Ghost Rider in the skies song a little.

Therefore, what happened next was Neon finally being able to break Forest. Soon, Neon and Forest were out near the mail building, and were waiting for Wolf.

Now, Wolf went to get scrolls, that were from Celestia, and I just told him to bring the scrolls, and put it in the pile of shit that Celestia sent me.

By now, I probably have a three-thousand to five- thousand feet pile of un opened mail from Celestia. It is very big, and it’s kind of one of the attraction for the town of Stalia, although they call it the biggest pile of mail that no one gives a flaming fuck about. I’m really dead serious about that name. it’s really called that.

Moving on, Neon and Forest were waiting there for Wolf to come out. When Wolf came out, Neon set him on fire, to see if he’ll burn or not.

By this point in time, I was really concerned the mental state of Neon, because he was starting to turn out a psychopath, but it was fake fire.

I had a surprised look on my face when I heard that, because I remember in ‘No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria’, fanfic, I remember how TD got set on fire by Pinkie Pie, and it was fake. I was surprised it actually exists here.

By the way, Wolf accidently sent all the letters back to Celestia, however, I later found out it wasn’t letters.

What I found out was that Wolf was getting paper, and he wrote on it, and made it into a scroll. It was for me apparently, and the message on the paper was fuck you bicth, in with very big letters. What Wolf was doing with these was for a trolling joke he was going to do on me, but it got sent to Celestia. Now, guess what I got back in response to those letters.

She gave me a thank you letter.

I’m wondering now, is she blind, or is the universe is going to extreme lengths to stay on course. I mean, I got the letter and Celestia said I was very thoughtful for sending it. She also put in the letter that she taught me very well.

I also then thought, what did she teach me. Let’s see here, I basically forgot everything she thought me when I was in Cantorlot. Be friends with possible psychopaths. Be a troll and make your student learn something from it. Yea, that’s about it. In other words, she taught me jack shit.

Anyways, both of them enjoyed the prank they pulled on Wolf, and started doing pranks together.

For Mac, they beat the living shit out of his farm animals. Mac was so shocked by this, he started to threaten to kill Neon and Forest, until he found out it was just dead cows from other farms, he was relieved and moved with life.

Now, I’m starting to get used to Neon and all the other weird shit around the world, sometimes at this point. When stuff like this happens, I just saw it as normal, but whatever. Although, my question is, where did they go to get and beat the hell out of those other farm cows.

As for Arrell, the animals were having another orgy, while sharks were killing turkeys, with a baboon raping a random pony, along with 3 deformed ponies were fucking inanimate objects. In addition, there was the bunny friend that Arrell had, that was looking at bunny porn in a magazine.

Now, how Neon and Forest was able to pull this off, I will never know, but I believe it was Neon’s breaking the laws of physic power.

In addition, Arrell was fine with this. Although, I did see him drag a bunch of trash bags that was bleeding blood.

Now for Jack, they took away the mannequins, and replaced it with dead bodies. Jack was also fine with this as well. I’m just surprised no one asked where the dead bodies came from. However, I believe it was a fake dead body, but I’m not sure.
Guess what else, they also did me, which led them to take all the beer and weed, and replaced it with apple cider and grass clippings.

I was so extremely pissed off, that I belated the fuck out of them. However, if you guessed by now, Forest was fine since Forrest can fly, while Neon just somehow randomly disappeared into thin air, and repapered in someone else’s house.

I will never understand him, or Pinkie.

They do deserve the title as a god like being.

The next day, Neon was going over to Forest’s house, which just like Rainbow Dash, it was in the sky as well. Neon then asked him to come down, which in response, he got Forest and a griffin.

Now, at this point, I was walking by, planning a way to get revenge for them stealing my weed and beer, I overheard there little conversation.

I then stopped with wide eyes, and then realized something. That griffin was that famous Brony who’s OC was a griffin. I don’t remember the name, but it was him. I recognized the voice. I just couldn’t believe how he was here in this universe.

The only way to find out was to join the conversation.

I then walked up to them, and joined them. When I joined in, Forest was telling Neon how he met the griffin. I then spoke up, saying hi and shit, and asked who the griffin was.

Well, I was correct.

He had the same name as the famous Brony did, although I forgot what it was, but I believe you know what I’m talking about.
Forest then went to get something from his house, and the griffin turned to the two of us, and said he didn’t like us.

Although, he said he met the others, and liked them.

He then told us to fuck off, and Neon just went away, but I believe he was coming back with something else to ignore the griffin with, or at least talk to Forest, since he was going to be up in the clouds and shit.

However, I stayed there and explained whom I was, and the griffin was in shock. However, he then threaten me that if I didn’t leave, he’ll tell Forest and the others who I really was, and I just couldn’t take those chances.

Well, at least not yet. They’re not ready yet for the truth. Is neither Celestia nor the mane six.

I then went to my basement, and contacted TK to ask him how the fuck did another human get in to that universe. He then explained to me there is more than one way to get to other universes.

So heres the deal.

There are multiple ways to get to other universes. However, there are two types of ways to get into other universes. One way, is the legal way. There is only one way for this way, and that’s how I did it. It’s complicated, but it’s still the legal way. As for the illegal, it’s everything else.

The way the griffin did it, was the illegal way.

Now there are differences for the legal and illegal way. For the illegal way, you will be in the universe, however, that doesn’t mean there will be consequences. The punishment could be anything thet will affect you in a negative way for the choices you make on how you got to the universe, or basically anything at all. The legal way, there are some benefits for going though the legal way.

I then stayed up all night, trying to figure out a way to get the griffin guy back to his world. I could’ve killed him, but one, he’s a Brony, and two, even though I didn’t like him that much other than the other Bronies, you do have to admit, he was pretty good at music.

While I was thinking of ways to get rid of the griffin, Neon went through so much trouble to talk to Forest, but of course he keeps failing, and eventually comes to me. He told me had a plan to burn where he lives and set him on fire.

First off, that would mean to burn forest’s house, since he’s staying at forest’s house.

Second, I believe Neon has a problem with fire, because lately, he’s been wanting to burn things. I also said to him, ‘you have a serious problem of burning things, don’t you. I mean, you’re mentally unstable to be here you fucker.’

He then said he has another plan to get rid of the griffin, which is more sane then burning things. I did agree with him, I think we should have an intervention with him about setting things on fire.

While he said his plan would work, I suggested we try my plan first, which was for Neon to lure the griffin away, and bring him to my house.

When the griffin came to my house, I then knocked him out, and dragged his unconscious body along the way to Ponyville.
Why you ask I go to Ponyville, to which the answers lies in his past.

You see, from what I’ve gathered, he’s been pretty much hated in Ponyville, and nobody likes him. Therefore, my plan was to drag his body on the Everfree forest trail and let anything happen, happen. While his body went through, was being gnawed and chewed at by timber wolves and get splinters and all that good shit.

We eventually came to Ponyville, with every other pony staring at us.

I knew they wouldn’t be able to recognize him, because he’s too fucked up.

Therefore, I then went up to Twilight’s door, knocked, and Twilight opened.

She said hello, but then questioned why the fuck I had a griffin with me. I then forced myself in, dropped the body on the ground, and closed the door.

I then explained everything to Twilight who the griffin was, and she had a shock face.

I then told her to do something with him.

She had a confused to look on her face, and I just simply told her to do some magic shit. She then explains getting rid of a griffin wasn’t easy.

My response was it is easy.

All you need is a hacksaw and some acid. You would also need a container to put the acid in. a bathtub is recommended to do this type of magic.

She then said just do what Pinkie did.

I then had an idea, although I would have to go back home, and think a better way for it to work. She then asked if I was all right. I then said, ‘I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore. I think I got an Idea.’

She then asked what, and I replied with, ‘don’t worry about it. Your uncle knight will take care of it.’

I then thought what the fuck I just said. I found out later, that the universe was doing it.

Now, not only will I have to repeat everything like in the show, but also the dialogue.

Fucking great!

As you can tell, I was well pissed off about it.

Twilight then said, she was a year older than me, but then stopped in her sentence and told me she doesn’t know my age. At that point, I just couldn’t fucking believe it.

I’ve been living here for 3 or 4 years, and they finally figured out that they never celebrated a birthday for me. I wonder if they will ever figure out, I’m a fucking male.

Of course I said that to her, and she just rolled her eyes at me.

I then let myself out, and somehow, the ponies in the town all recognized the griffin, and I just left him there, to be beaten the fuck out of.

Later, I was in my house, trying to figure out the calculations for my plan with the griffin, and somehow, the griffin knew who put him in Ponyville, and he just simply crawled on the floor, because all the ponies broke his legs.

Well, he said I was a bicth.

My response was what happened to love and tolerance.

A few days later went by, and the griffin then healed, and Neon threw him a party for him.

Just to tell what is going to happen, what happens is just like in the episode.

Although, I thought I saw Neon tip hooved to the griffin, and slowly lighted a match, but he saw me and I shooked my head at him, and he was ashamed at himself. We really need to give him an intervention about burning things.

Well, when the griffin left, after he was embarrassed and how Forest now thinks he was a doucebag, he walked out onto the streets, and I was there. I shot a bullet at him; however, it was a special bullet.

The bullet teleported him back to his universe, and I no longer saw him again.

I also wonder, where did he go, because to be honest, the device just sent him back to his universe, so he could’ve just been just sent to the vacuum of space.

Meanwhile… In the legion of doom.

The legion of doom was standing in the middle of that griffin guys house. One of them finally spoke Up.

“This isn’t our base. How the fuck did we end up in a guys house,” said one of the members of doom.
They then finally walked out of the house, and tried to find where the fuck they were.

As they were walking out, the griffin guy turned back into the famous Brony, who had that griffin avatar.

. He woke and thought of being in Equestria was all a dream he had. The griffin guy was in his room, when all of a sudden, Mic the Microphone opens the door and there was a little famous Brony gathering behind him.

the griffin guy then asked what the fuck was going on, and Mic responded by saying a bunch of Bronies, including him, walked into his house, and had a party.

The griffin guy was worried about his stuff being wrecked, but hes was relieved when he heard nothing was moved.
However, Mic then told him, that a monkey raped and humped him while he was sleeping.

The griffin guy had a shocked expression on his face, and tried to get up, but as he tried, and fell, to find his legs being broken. The ponies in ponyville broke his legs, when that Knight guy dragged him to the town the griffin guy remembered.

The griffin guy was then thought to be mentally unstable when he talked about being in Equestria, and was sent to a mental insinuation and later died of aids that Neon gave him.

Episode 9: The Birthday Problem

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Chapter 9: the Birthday Problem.

(note: I really do apologize for this chapter.)

Ok now, this chapter or part of the story, will be non- cannon. Ok, so if you neither remember when Twilight finally fucking figured out that they never celebrated a birthday for me, nor did they ever had an age on me? Well, Twilight took this to princess Celestia.

I was just surprised that didn’t notice they never had a file on me at all while they were on the subject, because it was related to it.

Let me explain.

When I mean a file on me, I mean by a file on which I am and all that other shit. It also shows whom I’m related to and all that good shit, but since they never had a file on me, I didn’t have to worry about pretty much everything.

In addition, to let you know, I will come back to talk about the file thing, because there is something shocking about that file. Let just say, you will wonder whom the fuck I am after you hear it, however, that won’t be till the future. If you want to know, you just have to be patient.

Now, back to the story. As I was saying, Twilight took this up to Celestia, and she too had a little worried look on her face.
She then sent me a letter, asking about my birthday, age, and shit. The thing is, she felt bad for me, not having a single birthday, nor knowing my age.

The thing is, I don’t give a flaming fuck about my age. I mean, I sometimes lose track of my age.

Now, I was about over fifty five-thousand years old. Now, I know at the beginning of the story, I was over fifty thousand years, but trust me. I spend a lot of time outside of the universe then you think.

Well, after I told how I don’t give a fuck, the following day, I was ordered to go to Cantorlot to see Celestia and Twilight.

They were going to verify my age, although I don’t know how it was going to work, because I was basically over fifty five-thousand years old at this point, but my appearance looked about 21 years of age.

When I entered the castle, I was then gestured to take a seat on a pillow. Well, after I took a seat, Celestia ordered the doctors to come in and look at me.

Well, I was afraid of that. You want to know why? It’s because those off the grid powers. That syringe that I put in my blood vessels. That off the frid powers was in my blood stream.

However, fortunately enough, since pony anatomy, or at least in this universe, they don’t need to take a sample of my blood, because that’s not how checkups work in this universe. They took an x-ray picture of my bones and shit. When they were finished, they told me and Celestia I was 21 years old.


They even told me that my bones were about the right age for 22, and was surprisingly about to turn on the fourth anniversary mark when Celestia first found me out in the Everfree.

Well, Celestia then told me I could leave. I then had a feeling inside me that they felt bad for me not having a birthday at all, and they were going to throw me a surprise birthday party for me. I was even sure that Pinkie Pie was going to be making it happen. All I hoped was not to have trans-dimensional monsters and beings, due to pinkie pie breaking every law of physics, which means she could also go to other dimensions, and still not wonder where the fuck she is. Well, I was mostly right.

The party was at Cantorlot, and it wasn’t thrown by Pinkie. Although, it made me a little disappointed, because I do have to admit, that Pinkie Pie parties are pretty fun, along as no laws of physics are broken that would kill any normal, sane pony won’t happen, I love Pinkie Pie parties.

Now, before the party, I was smoking weed, while Wolf was getting drunk off his ass, or his wooden ass, which ever you prefer.

Well, my friend, Classy Jack and Forest Fire came to me to bring me to Cantorlot.

Heres what happened.

Celestia, planned this, along with Twilight of course, and sent letters to my friends, but surprisingly they were smart, because they noticed I never mentioned my age.

Heres what I mean. I explained the story, of how I met Celestia and Twilight, and explained all the things they ever did for me, although, I don’t know why I mentioned that, but moving on. The guys even asked me about my age and I had no answer for it. Therefore, it was quite fucking obvious for them that I didn’t even have a fucking birthday.

Well, I then went to Cantorlot, and It was in that ballroom, like in episode 9 season 2 where Twilight had her birthday at. They just jumped out from the darkness, or turned the lights on, and said surprise, and we had a birthday party.

Now I do know there isn’t much to talk about here, and there isn’t even a point to write this part of my life, but you’ll see why I had to write this down.

Heres the thing.

I was opening gifts.

Rainbow gave me a dumbbell, while applejack and Mac gave me some apples. (those fuckers.) In addition, of course, Twilight gave me a fucking book, but I gave it to her, because it seemed like she wanted the book as well.

Now the big thing here is Pinkie had a present for me, and it was in a separate room. Well, I went into the room, and there were monsters and other beings from other universes and Trans- dimensions.


In addition, I then asked Pinkie where she got them, and she said that she saw me go through the portals, or off the grid portals. Apparently, she saw, me, and went into other universes.

Now, the question is, how did she get through the other universes, because I don’t recognize any of the creatures.
Besides, if you remember one of the universal rules, that you have to open a patrol to a universe, with 117.

By the way, I also, which I know this has nothing to do with anything, but might as well, because, it is somewhat important.

Ok, so, if you recall one of the universal rules. That if you go to a universes, where the dominate species are different then what you are already, you’ll somewhat change into that species. Two things you might want to note, especially when we go into the future of the story.

One, there is an expectation to that rule, because sometimes, you will change into a different form of a creature, or stay the same. It just somehow happens at complete random.

Second, you know I’m a human, right? If you recall, that I was human before I entered the official MLP universe, and then came on the other side as a pony, right? Well, heres the thing. After I went through the portal, just one time, the next time I went through it, which was after TK found me. That when I ever wanted to go off the grid, I didn’t turn back to a human! I was still in my pony form, no matter what. I was only human when I ever went to an Earth universe. But everywhere else (that was a new universe I entered or just simply being off the grid.), I was in pony form.

Now, you might question that, and might try to figure out behind this mystery. Well, I already know the answer to why I was still in pony form, however, that would be spoiling it. Saying, you guys just have to guess until whenever I tell you why and how. Trust me, this makes it more fun for you, because it’ll make you think of what it could be and you might just have fun with it altogether.

Anyway, I was then shocked to find out that Pinkie knew about off the grid. I mean, she could know about it, it’s just that she and the others weren’t ready to be told. Although, I’m pretty sure it’s obvious how pinkie went through the other universes without using 117.

Pinkie Pie physics.

Well, I then told wolf to get over here, and he did. I then told him how Pinkie knows and the only thing we could do was call in TK and Factory Dash. With Doctor Whooves, well, he was busy doing The Doctor shit.

Therefore, however, I couldn’t contact TK or Factory Dash, because they weren’t picking up the call. By the way, when I mean the call, I mean by a device that I made myself, where it’s on my left foreleg and its basically a data/communication/etc. machine.

Anyways, I had to go back to the portal, and because I had to leave, that means Pinkie could leave anytime, possibly open up a portal to off the grid, or let the monsters outside, or simply spill the beans to everyone. I told Wolf to keep an eye on things while I was going. I then teleported to the portal, and to just let you know. I teleported by using my magic.

My magic has gotten quiet good during that time period.

I then went off the grid, and went to TK. I went into his universe, or Hell to be exact. He had his demon guards and people being tortured, but since I knew TK, I was simply not a bother at all, and was also greeted as a friend by the demons.

Trust me, it does sound weird, but it’s the truth since TK is the new Devil of this universe.

I found him in his lair, where he was a conference room, talking with God as in the christen God. Yea, heres the thing. TK had a good relationship with that god, but only because he was using the devil powers fairly and respectively, that he and god of that universe are on good terms.

Therefore, I came in, and I told TK what happened. He told god of that universe he had to postpone the meeting until he got back.

TK and I then headed off to get Factory Dash.

I went through the portal, and just like the demons, the guards here also greeted us like regulars. We had a hard time finding Factory Dash, because she was at work.

Of course, while we were trying to find her, we saw all the useless pegasi and other ponies that were being killed and turned into rainbows. Yea, were saw plenty of gore and blood and heard plenty of screams.

The way I do it was not to just stand there and just look horrified of what I was seeing, but just ignore it. That, and I was used to it.

Anyway, we eventually found her, killing a pony.

We told her to come, and she came when she finished killing the pony. We then all headed back to the official MLP universe, and what do you know when we get back?

We found Pinkie Pie released the monsters upon my friends and opened a portal to off the grid, and everybody went through it.

I fucking knew it. In addition, Wolf was knocked unconscious. I told TK and Factory Dash to take care of it, while I tried to bring wolf back to conscious.

When I did, he just stayed there until I finished the job. When I went through, hell’s gates were released upon every pony there.

That, and Pinkie and Neon were smiling away, while breaking laws of physics.

God, I will never fucking understand them.

Well, I then told TK and Factory dash what I had planned after we fought off these creatures. After I did that, we then fought off the creatures, or in other words, kill them. Of course, the others guys were surprised about this, and when we got them back to their universe, they had shocked faces.

I then told wolf how much how I still don’t understand pinkie got to open up a universal hold to get off the grid.

Then Celestia asked how I knew about the place. To which I then said, “sure, let me just… now!!!”

TK, Factory Dash, wolf, and I all put on gas masks, well except for TK, since he was a Devil, and still has the knight suit on of course.

Anyway, we put on the gas masks, and released a sleeping gas; thet would knock out someone, and make them forget the last 24 hours.

Everypony just collapsed to the floor. I then went and grabbed a machine, and connected to the bodies. I put a fake memory in their minds, so when they wake up, they have something to remember.

I then told TK to clean up the damage, Wolf to pick up the dead bodies, and Factory Dash to go around and make sure there were no witnesses. If there were, I told her she could keep them, and use them for her rainbows.


I really don’t give a fuck about the snobby which people. Besides, this universe has enough snobby people with the snobby French. They did that, while I try to make it look like they had the fake memory I gave them.

I also have to comment, that day, was completely random. I mean, it reminds me of that power thirst 3 video I saw on YouTube.

It was completely random. Speaking of videos, I wonder how I still remember those effil65 songs, or for any videos for that matter.

Well, I don’t know why I just wrote that in here, but whatever. When I got back home, I just got drunk off my ass and smoked weed before falling asleep.

heres the videos what i was talking about. i don't if it'll help, but here it is anyway.

Episode 10: The Magnificent Doucebag

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Chapter10: The Magnificent Doucebag

Well, we finally continued with history repeating itself.

In addition, just to let you know how everybody went with his or her fake memories, it was ok. Although, Arrell has a little hazy memory of those events, but doesn’t remember it completely. If he does remember it, then I’m sorry, but I have to put him down.

Anyway, I was given a letter by Celestia, to practice some magic. She gave me something’s that I could, and I didn’t give a flaming fuck about it. Besides, doesn’t she know how powerful my magic already is?

I mean, I have over a thousand spells written and created by me. Therefore, I just ended up smoking weed while Wolf got drunk.

Just to also let you know, that I have been smoking weed a lot, and it’s not for comedic proposes, but It somewhat is relaxing. Well, for me, since I don’t get any of the damaging effects of it.

Well, all of a sudden, two colts, or I believe the correct term is colt. I don’t know. Two small boy children. Whatever. Two colts came up to my door, and told me to come and see the magnificent Harry.

I’m not kidding. That’s the Trixie pony for me. His name is fucking Harry. Of course, that sounds like Harry Potter, since he’s a unicorn and all.

There’s just one problem though. He’s not British. I mean, I always joked back on earth, that all British people are all wizards and go to Hogwarts. I also joked that Rarity had a British voice accent a little, and I just said she was a wizard. I even gave her a somewhat funny back story. She was once owned by harry Potter.

I also had one for Fluttershy as well.

The thing is with this one, is that the reason she is shy and is because she is trying to forget painful memories that she had when she was in the Vietnam War. Don’t ask where that came from.

Anyways, I got the two colts names, and they were dog and tales. That seemed to make sense. It really does if you think about snips and snails.

Well, I went to the crowd, and all my friends were there, trying to be better then Harry.

In addition, I still find the name Harry for him doesn’t fits him. From now on for the story, and this is still what I call him to this day, the magnificent Doucebag. Alternatively, just Doucebag for short.

Well, Doucebag was just like Trixie.

An arrogant fool.

He was also were beatingmy friends in their skills that they had. He then saw me, and challenged me.

I then said fuck off, and out of nowhere, a mare comes in, that wasn’t even from this town. In fact, she had an 80’s look.

The mare went up to Doucebag and said I wasn’t cool anymore and I lost the skill of magic.

I then said, “Who the fuck are you?”

Doucebag also said how I wasn’t great and magnificent like him.

Then another mare and a stallion came up beside me, and told Doucebag to leave me alone. Doucebag then said, that he will leave this town and me alone, if I challenged him to a magic contest.

The stallion then said that I would defeat him in that challenge.

I then said, “who are you ponies!? Where the fuck did you come from!?” then everybody just left.

I was told by Forest to come back in three hours.

Then wolf said to me, that I know what to do. He was right. I knew what I needed to do in this situation. And that’s by doing an 80’s movie training montage.

While I was training, I also cast a spell, where music will play in the background while doing specific things. I basically had she’s a maniac, the power of love, back in time, no easy way out, best of the best, mighty wings, burning heart, push it to the limit, the workout theme from Rocky 4, you’re the best around, hearts on fire, and we fight for love.

Yea, those a list of the songs from the 80’s that I listened to.

While that was going on, I ran up a snow covered mountain, did exercises physically, and with my magic, punched a punching bag for a while, and did other training exercises from Rocky 4.

After that was over, it was time to face Doucebag. Well, I saw him, and that mare chick who said I wasn’t good anymore was there, giving Doucebag a boner.

Well, we then started the competition, and I kicked his ass real easy.

As I said, I write my own magic very easily. In fact, that’s what I did to the completion. Most of them were just for shits and giggles, but some were pretty impressive. Not even Celestia and Luna can’t do.

By the way, since I was a human before, and if you’re wondering how do I, a regular unicorn have more power than a god like being? Well, I wondered too, but I soon found the answer, but if I told, it would spoil the fun. So in the mean time, just guess.

Anyway, one of the spells that I used, that I wrote myself, was to turn off gravity. Another one that I had was a spell that made a big flat long metal thing that covers over a city.

It’s mostly goes along with the gravity spell.

I also have another spell that goes along with the metal top one.

It’s just basically a reference.

All the spell does is give you a device, that has several buttons on it. Well, what happens is, you press one of the buttons, in a order, and its makes music. Then the big metal top responds with a deeper tone to the notes. If you haven’t guess by now, although, it was a shitty description of it. I was referencing the close encounters of the third kind movie. It’s when the humans were communicating with the mothership with the musical notes.

Well, that’s how I defeated Doucebag. Nevertheless, of course, he arrogant. He then said even though he was defeated by a worthless piece of shit, or in other words, me, he will still stay here in Stalia.

I fucking knew it. Wolf and I even betted on it, which means I fucking win, and he would owe me 20 bits.

So anyway, the strange mare chick still sticked with him, while the other two from before came up to me and said don’t worry about Doucebag and they will find a way to get him out of town. Of course, I thought, maybe they would try to prank him out of town, but I don’t konw, something 80’s I guess. So, I also said to them, “who are you ponies!? I don’t even fucking know you!”

well, later that night, Doucebag was in his trailer, while dog and tales were outside his home. They were two retards and thought maybe they could boost his popularity, by bringing an user major and I mean an user major to town, so Doucebag could defeat the major with his magic.

Well, those two idiots did just that, and Stalia was in a panic.

I then walked outside, because I was woken up by the screaming. I mean, I was having a good dream. I dreamt that… you know what. I believe when history was repeating itself, all I was dreaming was having a dream within a dream, within a dream or seven levels of dream, and all those levels of dreams had me smoking weed and drinking beer.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I dream about other stuff too, but that was only when I wasn’t repeating episodes from the show. When it wasn’t repeating, I was dreaming about my memories in the past. Like the time when I was an Alicorn, or the Fall.

Anyway, I then saw Doucebag trying to use his magic, but he was nervous, because he didn’t know how to defeat an user major, because he said he did know how.

Well, I then walked up to the user major and I used what I call the fuck off spell. All the spell did was plant a bomb under the major’s feet, and it blasted the major away and into the Everfree forest.

Everyone cheered me on and how I sent the beast back to where it belongs.

Yea, no, I killed the beast. In fact, the timber wolves would have pliant of meat to eat. Although, I did feel bad for the user minor, because I killed its mother. But hey, at least it has food for a while, or in other words, its mother. I know that was wrong, but hey it doesn’t know. Besides, it didn’t mean I almost made the species go extinct. There were plenty of them out there.

Well, Doucebag then left in embarrassment and fled Stalia. Then the chick that was with him, came up to me, and said she was sorry she ever doubted me, and the other ones from before said how great I did and I was the best. In addition, while they were saying that, some victory 80’s music was playing in the background.

I was surprised no one noticed.

I also said, “You know what, I just give up. I just don’t understand where the fuck you ponies came from, but I just give up.”
Therefore, I then headed back to my house, and waited for episode 7 to come.

In addition, those guys never returned.

I did the right thing for giving up on it, because I think it was the universe getting back at me from trying to resist repeating history.

In addition, if you all wondered what Doucebag looked like, he was the same color as Trixie, but the mane was black, and was a male, of course.

heres those traning songs that i mentioned

(i just find this one that Knight would use to train to.)

the movie refrence, which i found, but also makes fun of.

as for the victory songs, i could only findtwo that would kind of work.

Episode 11: Dragon-Arrell That Smokes Weed

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Chapter11: A Dragons Revenge

So, I’m about to talk about episode seven, which was Dragonshy.

Yea, so this is what happened.

Arrell, was taking care of his animals. He was making sure they were fed, bathed, and made sure was in perfect health. He even made sure that they were breeding correctly.

He had almost lost all of his animals when Mac came to help. Yea, if you recall that incident where Mac breaded the wrong animals, I’m surprised, because I’m trying to forget what I had saw.

Let me tell you the results of those animals that were breaded wrong. The animals were hybrids. They were an abomination, and a law against nature.

We had put the hybrid animals down, because somehow, they were saying kill me. As in, they were experiencing pain. I don’t know how they even talked, but still. It took Arrell awhile to get fix the huge mistake that Mac did to his animals, so he had hunt for others.

In addition, when I mean hunt, I mean still other ponies animals. While he did that, he also put a ransom, but of course, he wasn’t going to give it back. I do have to admit, that was good idea, since he was taking the animals and all.

I also thought, “and he is supposed to be an element of whatever we are. Then again, I fucking smoke weed, while drinking beer at the same time. We put an unborn fetus in our neighbors mailbox, killed other ponies animals, stealing dead bodies, and making shit that’s against nature’s laws.”

So, anyway, he was feeding his bunny pet, I believe he named it Asshat.

Not kidding. Although, I do recall the bunny had two nicknames, which were H and demon. Since I find Asshat to be a funny name, I’m fucking writing this story, and you’re not, I’ll be calling him Asshat. However, if you don’t want to call him that and want to call him by nickname, then just pretend Asshat isn’t there and pretend H or Demon is there.

So, Arrell was making sure Asshat was safe, but Asshat tried to run away from him. Arrell tried to stop him, but Asshat pointed to the mountain that was from episode 7.

Then Arrell and Asshat knew what was going on. He saw smoke, and he could smell it, because for some odd reason, it came near him, but not the other ponies.

He smelt it and it smelt familiar to him. It was weed and crack smell when smoked. Apparently, before Arrell met the other guys, him and Asshat went on some random not so great adventures together. One of them is by stealing drugs from a dragon.

Not kidding you.

There existed a dragon that did crack, and weed. Ok, maybe I’m going a little over board there, because he wasn’t the only dragon that even did drugs. The other dragons did dragon shit. Which was eat, sleep, and shit. Besides, if you recall the crackle dragon, whom I believe that was on heroin, this dragon was its cousin. Moreover, no, it did not look like him, but had gold bling around its neck, with apparently a giant fucking backwards cap.

I don’t know where that fucking dragon got it from, but ok then.

so, Arrell and Asshat were afraid that the dragon will come back for revenge, but didn’t want to feel guilty of leaving us all behind, because of he did, our souls would haunt him for the rest of his life. Well, just me anyway.

Therefore, he went to the park, where most ponies were. Well, of course he couldn’t say a dragon that he pissed off years ago is coming back for revenge because he stole crack from him.

Therefore, he decided to say flying spaghetti monster, purple pony eaters, and flying aids and cancer was coming to attack the town. When I heard this, I thought how much of a fucking dumbass he is, because that is fucking impossible.

Although, if there was a flying spaghetti monster that was coming here, I will have to give those crazy fucking basturds that practice the flying spaghetti religion.

I’m not kidding you. There is such a religion.

If you don’t believe me, look it up. Trust me; I was even shocked when I heard about it.

So anyway, while Arrell was doing that, I was chilling at home, with me smoking weed while drinking beer, while wolf was passed out from drinking too many tequilas.

He drank about seven bottles full. Each bottle was a litter full to be exact.

What he was trying to do was beat my record, which was at eight tequila bottles, along with five vodka bottles, and three regular beers.

Yea, I’m a champion. Well, as I was saying, I was chilling, and Wolf woke up, and spitted out a letter from Celestia. I opened it up, and guess what it read.

Dear Knight,
I have gotten word that a dragon has appeared near you and Twilight’s hometown. I would send Twilight and her friends to fix the problem. They did a good job last time when this happened, however, the Elements of Harmony are busy now. I am writing this letter to ask you and your friends to take care of the problem. I would go too, however, I am a little caught up at the moment. I hope you understand. I have given you all the information that I have about dragons along with this letter.
From your teacher,
Princess Celestia

Well, what else can I fucking say? She’s being a Trollestia again. I mean being caught up at the moment.


Yea, I’ll believe you, when I see a fucking pony fucking a monkey out in the middle of the fucking streets, while cats and dogs are battling to the death, bunnies killing ponies and humping bees at the same time, and I somehow become an Alicorn, but with rainbows coming out of my ass when I ever fly. While at the same time, have birds humping frogs, while giant fucking ass robots comes to invade, while fighting pop tarts in the sky with bears on unicycles with ak-47’s and a RPG.
That’s when I’ll believe you, because that’s telling me that the world is ending.

As for the elements, I don’t know what to say about that one. I mean, Twilight could be doing something very important with her friends.

Yea. I’m actually being nice here for once, and being understandable.

Not that I’m saying I never was, but, since history is repeating itself for me, I might as well do whatever the fuck I want. Of course, I didn’t give two shits and a flaming fuck. I wasn’t going to tell anypony about this and if they did, then they would fucking died.

I didn’t give a fuck, especially since I was high and all. However, the universe was a step ahead of me, and I was then randomly teleported to the park, along with Wolf.

We were randomly teleported and I just feel like the universe is my enemy now.

Oh well, that’s what happens in life.

That or I can have the universe as my friend, by doing what it wants me to do. I mean, I am a Brony and I’m the only one who ever experienced that every Brony dreams of doing. Being in Equestria. That and meeting the elements of harmony and princess Celestia and Luna. Not only that, but relieving what Twilight and her friends experienced. Therefore, I should shut the fuck up, and enjoy this life I have. Besides, I really shouldn’t be mad at Celestia at all and should thank her for giving me this type of life. I mean, love and tolerance. What the fuck am I writing!?

Yea, fuck it. I’ll continue to be a jackass, resist the universe, continue to hate Celestia, although I never really do hate her, I just see her as a troll, but other than that. I really don’t hate her.

That and I’m going to continue to continue whatever the fuck I’m doing.

Although, I’m pretty sure at a point in time, this will all stop, and basically everything will fall, and I will have no hope left. Besides, everything must end one day. Even immortals have to die some time, right?

Well, as I was there in the park, I yelled out to every fucking pony that was there, that, “every fucking pony listen up! There’s a fucking dragon, and I’m informed by Trollestia, that me and my friends, who basically have problems that I’m worried about, have to take care of this problem. So yea, you ponies are all doomed and might have to move to another town.”
That was what I fucking said. Although, one pony did say he thought it was flying aids and cancer that was attacking.

Fucking idiot.

The thing is that Arrell said, no pony even heard him.

Now, as for the universe thing, well, nopony noticed that I fucking said Trollestia, nor did any one hear me say the word fuck, along with they are doomed and the problem with my friends. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me give you a hint.

Neon has a problem with wanting to burn everything. Mac has a sick mind and hates his cousin. Arrell does random shit that I will never understand. Forest fire is an idiot sometimes because sometimes he thinks he can do jackass related shit.
Although, other than that with forest, him and classy jack seems to be the ones with no mental problems at all.

At least that’s what I thought at the time.

Yea, I jinxed it.

There is something wrong with them. Then again, there’s something with me too. I have a drinking and smoking problem. Then again, I don’t give a fuck.

That and Wolf, I really don’t understand him. he’s sick, but yet, random, but at the same time, he’s cool and fun to hang out with. Then again, he is a Troll sometimes. Whatever.

Well, I told Wolf to gather all of my friends to my house, so we could discuss our plans to get the dragon off the fucking mountain. When Wolf did that, all of my friends were at my house.

Well, we then discussed what we had to do. We had to convince him to get off and take his sleep somewhere else.
Yea, I never had a plan for this. The thing is, I know very little about dragons in this universe. I mean, I came across dragons before in other universes before.

In fact, I came across them in three different universes. A universe that needed me, Factory dash, and Tk’s help.
Not a dragon problem, but another problem, which is a story for another time.

I know I have all these stories, but really, I just want to stick to one thing, and I’ll get to the others another time.

Therefore, there was also a dragon universe, and another universe that had a space dragon. If you don’t believe that, then think about this.

If you are aware about the muiltiuniverse theory, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s about how there’s an infinite amount of universes that is like the same universe, but is very different.

For example, take earth. Say you have a choice between fucking a chick or fucking a donkey. Well, let’s say you decide to fuck the donkey. Well, there’s another universe where you fucked the chick instead of the donkey. Also, the universe where you fucked the chick could be in a country where there is communism or nationalism, or everything is the same that you know of, but that’s the only difference.

There trillion upon trillions of universes like that.

Anyway, as I was saying about the dragon plan, we were all going to go up the mountain to get him to move.

Although, Arrell was afraid because he was afraid the dragon was going to remember him, and kill him.

Well, my friends left to get prepared. If you remember in the episode where the element s did that A –team shit. Well, we did that as well. I’m also surprised that we didn’t do anything B-team related.

So, Forest just put set something on fire, and put that little fire colors on his cheek. Classy jack pretty much looked classy or modern classy as I call it, but was prepared to fight. Mac, well, he just grabbed a bat, as an American would.

I really don’t know here, I mean, this is like what they have to prepare themselves with. I mean of course they have other shit, but this shit seems to be the only interesting thing they had with them.

Let’s see, Neon brought crazy shit by defying all laws of physics, along with fire. I brought along, well nothing expect for my wits and skills I acquired when TK trained me.

In addition, Arrell brought along Asshat, because they figured they had to face their demons, and they’re actually were right on that. In fact, with all the shit that happened to me in the past, I will too have to face those demons.

Yea, even though I’m writing this way in the eh future from the time period my life is taking place, I still haven’t faced my demons yet. I mean, we all have to at one point in our lives, right.

Well, we all then headed for the mountain, and started climbing.

No wait, we started walking up the mountain. How the fuck do you walk up a mountain?

I remember in the episode, the Mane six just walked up wards on the mountain side. How the fuck is that even possible. Then again, they did have Pinkie Pie and we do have Neon Party. I guess that makes sense with breaking the laws of physics and all that shit.

Well, then everybody started to joke around and I was pissed as fuck. I was not in the fucking mood to fucking talk, nor hear a fucking conversation from these psychopaths.

I know I’m going a little over board by calling them psychopaths, but they almost seem like psychopaths to me.

So, I then said to them to shut the fuck up, so we could get this over with so we could go home. I was really starting to get tired of the universe making me do shit. So, then everybody did what I said.

Then they started to ask what the dragon will be like. To shut them up, I asked Arrell since he was an animal guy and all. I mean, I knew what the dragon would look like, but I would let a professional explain it, then a pony that just smoke weed and drinks beer all day long.

Well, Arrell was shivering, and lied about knowing the dragon. He said he wouldn’t know, because he never saw one in his life.

Yea, bullshit.

You see, whenever we hang out at the bar, we tell stories. One of those stories we remember as a group, is Arrell seeing and went up to a dragon. He was bragging about how cool he is, because he saw fucking a dragon.

That also got me thinking.

Did the dragon ever tried to kill him where his kind is in no contact, or in fucking space!? Yea didn’t think so.

In addition, Arrell didn’t even start to climb the mountain yet.

He lied, on how he wasn’t a good climber. Then Forest mentioned, he’s a fucking Pegasus. Why not just fly. I mean, even Forest knew that Arrell was an excellent flyer. Well, he refused to go.

Now, Mac was going to make an alternate route for him, but I said, “fuck no, we’re taking him along if he likes it or not.”

What I did was grab some rope Mac had and tied him up and dragged him along the trail. Yea, I just dragged him and he didn’t even fight back. Then again, I guess he was thinking about he had to face his demons one way or another, so he was just letting it happen.

In addition, we bypassed all the obstacles that the Mane six had to do in the episode. I mean we bypassed everything. We just took a short cut, and within an hour or so, we got to the mouth of the cave.

I also wondered, did this cave have a off the grid portal. I mean the portals to off the grid areas pop up in the most isolated of places. In other words, place where there is no human at all. Where animals will not get harmed, or disturbed.

We then all looked into the cave, looking at what we had to face.

I then said to everyone, “listen up. We are dealing with a dragon that does not play nice. What we are going to do is get him out of his sleep and get him to move somewhere else. We might be small ponies to him. But to us, we are more than that. If we stick together, we can be strong. If we all attack at once, we then can get this over within less than an hour. So let’s go in there and show him he fucked with the wrong town.”

Just to let you know, back before I was in the official MLP universe, I was like this. You see, back in with my generation one team. Yea that’s what I call the team. Well, before we go into battle, mostly with TF, I would give my team a quick speech on what they would be facing and what to do as a team. It worked pretty well and I was suspecting that here too.

Well, all my friends agreed, and they didn’t hear a single word that I said. What I mean by that is, they all went individually.
What did I say five seconds ago? I said to stick together, because if a team sticks together, a team will be strong, because everybody is a support. If a team went there separate ways, then the team would fall apart because there would be no one to support the individual.

Therefore, that happened. So, what happened next was Neon going inside first.

I then thought, he was one brave stallion to go and fight that dragon by himself. Then I remembered he breaks laws of Physics.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to beat the dragon, and the dragon beat his fucking ass. He then crashed into one of the rock outside of the cave.

Then Forest thought he was being all though and shit and went to face the dragon himself. Then he came flying out on fire, because the dragon set him on fire.


I know he can do the sonic fire boom (I’ll tell you later about it), which means it’s like the sonic rainboom, but has fire instead of rainbow colors.

Yea, Forest gave up quickly.

Now, unbelievably, I thought Mac could fight the dragon, since he reminds me of a southern redneck and all that shit. Well, he was knocked out.

Up next was jack, but of course he failed as well. I then decided to step up to the plate and went into the cave.

Of course I could’ve just easily killed the dragon, but unfortunately, this is Equestria, and like I said before in the past, that ponies don’t really kill one another or things for that matter.

Believe it or not, that’s how I want to live life. In peace, where I didn’t have to kill nobody, but this is what happened to me.
As for the dragon thing, yea, I got my ass kicked.

Of course.

It’s because I couldn’t just simply kill him, which I do have plenty of weapons to kill him with, but like I said, ponies don’t really kill living things.

Then to my surprised, I saw Arrell talking to Asshat and saying how they must go to face their demons. I then saw Arrell and Asshat go inside the cave.

From what I’ve recalled, arrell went up to the dragon and the dragon regocnized him.

the dragon was really fucking pissed at him for stealing his crack.

I wondered how much crack did he stole from him. From what I had gathered, it was only one hundred thousand tons of it and Arrell and Asshat snorted it all within a day or two. What the fuck. How did they not die is beyond me.

Well, Arrell said he was sorry and said fuck off and go to another mountain.

Then the dragon got up and moved to a mountain that wouldn’t effect anypony.

What the FUCK!?

That’s all we had to do was go up and tell him to leave. It’s like going on this trip was fucking worthless.

However, I did gain something on the trip, and that was a lesson learned. Yea, I actually learned something. It’s that you have to face your demons head on, and you cannot run away from your past. It will eventually find you someday.

When I got home, I thought I never would’ve done this, but I actually wrote a legit letter to Celestia this time, instead of using the fake letter I pre-made. Even Wolf was surprised I was doing this as well.

Dear Celestia,
Today, I did not learn anything about friendship at all. However, I did learn something that is a lesson for life. I learned that you cannot run away from your past. The past will always follow you wherever you will go in life. If you had troubles in your past and tried to run away from it, you just have to face those demons head on. Even facing your demons yourself and not have anyone else do it has its awards too. I’m sorry if you were inspecting a friendship later, but I have to be honest, that I did not learn anything at all about friendship. Instead, I learned something that will continue to stick to my life forever.
Your faithful student,

And guess what I got in return.

Dear my faithful student,
I was suspecting a friendship letter from you. However, the lesson you had learned even taught me. It is true that you can never run from your past. I even experienced that with Luna. I wanted to run away from it all, but I knew Luna would return with anger, but what I should have done, was confronted her myself instead of sending the elements of harmony. Therefore, this lesson you learned is just good as a friendship letter. I believe what you have learned will always stick with you for life.
Your teacher,

I was happy about that letter.

I’m serious.

I really did learn something and for the first time, I was actually happy I was here

P.S. also, to just let you know, I never learned anything from the past days that I was there.
There was didly dick.

If you’re afraid I’m going to turn into a softy here, yea I’m not done yet. I just learned something for once in my life that was meaningful to me.

In addition, I fucking got that son of a bitch. I knew Celestia was a Trollestia. She would’ve confronted Nightmare moon herself, but instead, send someone else to do it! Fuck you universe! I’ve finally got proof she is a Troll! Knight one, Universe, 87. Yea, I suck, don’t I?

Episode 12: Dark

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Chapter12: Dark

Well, after the events of yesterday, which was the dragon thing, I decided to relax and smoke weed and beer(that’s right, smoking beer.) I did it because I deserved it for learning a lesson about life. Yea, you could tell I was fucking high that day.
Well, Wolf was being a lazy fuck as well, and was sleeping on the couch. When I’m high or Wolf is, we usually joke around that make jokes that would offend people back on earth. Hey, the way I see it, that if a simple joke easily offends you, then you’re just basically taking the fun out of things to where no can have fun. Besides, if a joke offends you, just laugh along with it. I mean, you’ll be able to make a joke about the person that offended you one day, but you know, that’s my fucking opinion and all that shit.

By the way, why am I talking about this stuff? I should talk about my story, not to give a speech and shit.

Well, since my friends were tired out from yesterday and Wolf was being a lazy fucker, I decided to go out for a walk through Stalia. I was walking along the edges of the town, and I came across a pony that looked nervous and had a dark coat along with a red mane.

It was as if he was afraid to go into the town of Stalia. I then walked up to him and he even flinched. At the time, I was wondering if he had cancer, but I then thought that was silly of me to think that. It obviously meant he had aids. Maybe malaria as well, but I don’t think he went to the land of the zebras.

Well, I then asked him who he was and his name was Dark. Really. You can just tell this isn’t going to end well. I mean it’s a cool name for a pony and all, but it usually means something bad.

To be honest, I rather felt bad for him, so I asked if he had any friends. He said no and I offered to be a friend to him, and he hesitated a little at it, but he kindly accepted my offer.

Well, then I asked if he had anyplace to crash for the night and he said no. of course, I started to feel like he didn’t have aids and malaria, but he was a fucking hobo.


I mean along, as he didn’t try to give me aids, I would be fine helping him.

Well, I took him to my home and offered him the guess bedroom. He then said, “Room?”

it’s like he isn’t from this universe, but don’t worry, I checked his DNA. He belonged in this universe. Now if you’re wondering how the fuck DNA can tell of one’s universe, just trust me. There is a way to do it, but you would have to go deep within the DNA strands. In other words, that thing from Jurassic park. To be more specific, the little cartoon that showed during one of the tours. Moreover, no, it wasn’t the gay DNA guy or whatever the fuck that thing was.

Well, the next morning, I showed him to my friends and my friends were accepting to him of course. I mean, they were ponies and didn’t judge because he sounded white.

I know that sounded wrong and offensive, but that’s the cold harsh truth behind my friends. In addition, to let you know, they weren’t racists. In fact, I have no fucking clue what they were. I’m more confused then you are right now as the moment you are reading this.

Anyway, I left Dark to hang out with my friends, while I do a little business. Moreover, when I mean by business, I mean by getting high and shit.

Well, I was about to light my weed, when Wolf got a letter from Twilight, that she was coming over to check up on me. Yea, from now and then, she used to check up on me and my learning of friendship. I’m just surprised she wasn’t here for the past events.

You know, the griffin that was an asshole to me, Doucebag, Mac fucking everything up, Neon wanting to burn everything, my friends somehow keep finding a way to get into my house event tough its locked(which by the way, they decided at complete random to come to my house. Maybe they decided they stole enough from me, because I was missing some shit, until I found out they were hiding in a dead body. Don’t ask how it got there.) Then there was Spike raping her and let’s not forget Neon defying all laws of fucking physics.

I still get a shiver when I ever think about Neon breaking the laws of physics. It just creeps me out, like he’s slenderman or Jeff the killer or something. Maybe he his, but in disguise as a pony.

Nope, couldn’t be. He got the aids and it cured itself. Along with diabetes.

Well, it didn’t take Twilight too long to come to my house and she was pleased with my work. Now, I have no idea what she means by work. I mean, if it’s how well I’m with my friends, then that’s not work. I mean, they decided to be my friends, after Celestia’s evil clone tried to kill us all and we had to use the elements, which I’m still unsure what the fuck the elements are.

I mean, what the fuck do they represent? I know you don’t know, but trust me, it doesn’t make any sense.

Well, Twilight was about to leave, until Dark came through the door. She then looked at me with a shocked expression on her face.

She said we had to have a little private talk.

I then thought, “Is she hitting on me.” I mean she’s nice and all, but I don’t really go for unicorns and more for pegaisi. That and I don’t believe in love as I said before.

Well, fortunately for me, she wasn’t doing that, although, one time when I visited her place, I snooped around her place, and found some of her personal notes, or more like a diary and it had something to with me and something with love. I even saw a heart shape with K+T inside it.

That can’t be good.

Yea, it gets more fucked up later on. Trust me. I mean, when I saw this, although it was later on, like after season 1 repeated itself, that I found these, but it seems that Twilight had the hots for me.


Yea, to give you a heads up, this would also make this story even better and all, which Twilight has, a crush on me. Oh boy, this will be good for the story and possibly keep you guys interested in it, other than walking away from it, and either burning it from the boredom or how you just simply down right down like the story of my life, or just is really tired of the repetitiveness of the curse words.

Well, hey, that’s just me.

Well then, moving on. She told me how surprised she was how I didn’t contact her sooner.

I asked why and she said, “Didn’t you remember from the meetings?”

I asked what meetings and she said the ones in the letters. Yea, the thing is, Celestia made me part of her group that includes Luna and Twilight, that discusses the problems. Don’t ask me why she included me because I have no fucking clue why, because it seems to be an Alicorn business and I wasn’t one. Then again, maybe she was hinting at me of becoming one in the future. Then again, I was being tested and so far, I was passing.

At the time, it was fucking confusing.

I also didn’t know about the meetings because; like I said before, I never opened mail from Celestia. I never trust a troll. I even have some experience from that from Wolf whenever he trolls me.

So, moving on. Twilight explained to me everything about Dark. So heres the thing.

Apparently Dark was a criminal to Equestria. However, no pony knew this except Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and supposedly me, but since I didn’t give a single fuck about going to the meetings, I knew jackshit.

To be honest, I really don’t give a flaming fuck about anything Cantorlot related and shit.

well, I looked at Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, and about the same thing 21 more fucking times and I’m not exaggerating that either.

Of course, Twilight saw me do this, and she slapped me. What a fucking rude bicth! She then yelled my name, and told me to get fucking sense or whatever the fuck I was supposed to do.

Well then, I then told Twilight how I don’t see her point of view of things. I mean, he didn’t hurt a fly.

However, just as I said it, he hurts an old woman, and for some odd reason, starts fucking a snail, a turtle, and about 20 fucking bees within 10 seconds flat. Luckily, Twilight didn’t see any of this. Then again, Wolf somewhat does something like that almost every day.

Hurting ponies, not the fucking part. Although, I think he secretly fucks some Everfree forest animals, but I have no fucking clue what’s so ever.

Well, then, moving on. I then told Twilight, I can prove her that Dark isn’t bad as she says, and he changed. I mean, he was nervous when I first met him. However, for some odd reason, I can’t stop thinking about when he hurt an old lady and fucked those animals within 10 seconds.

I mean, just imagine it.

In addition, if I got you to think about it and got a sick picture in your head, apparently my job here is done and I won the fucking bet against Wolf. Now he owes me 50 bits. That bitch.

Now, if you’re liking the thought, then you’re a sick bastard and go fuck yourself.

Therefore, I told Dark to go back to my friends, so I could show Twilight how well he’s with my friends and shit.

Of course, he asked why, and then out of fucking nowhere, Wolf comes running in with a fucking whip and saying tidy mow! Then Dark went with my friends.

I later asked where Wolf got the whip from, and apparently, Wolf went to the Official princess Molestia universe, and stole the whip from her. That and he did it with Molestia.

Now, I remember the tumbler page, and I’m starting to wonder and get scared.

Now, a little quick story here.

Wolf told molestia about the portals, and guess what she did. she came to this universe, and went up to my room, and well, let’s just say I have no idea if I’m supposed to be happy or scared at this point.

What happened to me was I was sleeping a good dream about beer and weed that I was on a planet full of it. Then Molestia woke me up, tied me down, or should I say forced me and did me.


She molested me for the whole night. In addition, strangely enough, Wolf said, “can we have a threesome.”

I was so shocked at Wolf, but then again, he told me he enjoyed Molestia’s company, but it’s a threesome. Including me. I didn’t feel like doing a wolf like creature that’s made of wood. Instead, Molestia said no(thank my Celestia), and she continued to molest me.

Now, I have to admit, as much as that JackTHerbert guy on You tube who does the jack reacts shit, and how he wouldn’t want to get molested. It felt somewhat good. Now I’m ashamed of writhing this down, but really it felt good, but at the same time I’m scared of her coming back for round two. By the way, she did come back, but she came back for Wolf, but she did me a few times tough.

It just means I’m not a virgin anymore. Yay for me.

So, getting back to the story. Sorry for that as well, but let’s continue. So, Dark was good with my friends and shit, but Twilight wasn’t convinced.

Well, the next thing I did was go around town and asking other ponies of what they think about Dark. Now, I know it’s only been a day, but Stalia is like ponyville, except the gender population evens out equally.

I mean ponyville had a gender imbalance, that there were more mares then stallions, but in Stalia, it even out perfectly, but now there’s more mares in Stalia, and now there’s perks of being a stallion now in Stalia.

So yea. Well, Twilight still wasn’t convinced after the ponies said they liked him and he was a good pony.

That fucking bicth.

After all the things, I did for her. Then again, what did I do for her?

Well, whatever.

So next thing I did was go talk to the old woman pony that got hurt by Dark. I know it was a stupid Idea, but what else there was to prove to Twilight? Well, luck was on my side, because apparently the old mare liked it, and had a little dark side to her and asked Dark for more pain.

We all then slowly backed away, and somehow, that convinced Twilight. I have no idea why that convinced her, but ok then.
Well, what happened next, my friends, Dark, and me, along with Twilight and Wolf, went back to my house. Twilight would keep this secret and Dark spoke up. He said he thanked me for being his friend, and offered me to come with him.

I asked what the fuck are you talking about?

He then slowly rose into the air like a fucking possessed fucker would, and wind started coming through my home.

He then said, “Join me Knight. And we will rule Equestria as friend and friend. Let the magic of friendship do something for us!”

first, I don’t know where he got the first line at all. Second, the second line seemed what the fuck?

Therefore, I then became a softy again, and told him he was better than this. Then out of nowhere, and everyone in the room wondered as well where it came from, that sad music started to pop up.

Then Dark had a serious, nervous look on his face. He then disappeared, where I have no fucking clue where he went.
Now, if you somehow like Dark at this point, don’t worry, I eventually found him, and we’ll get to that later. So yea. More random shit happened that day. Just like every day for me.

Episode 13: Look before You Sleep, There Might Be A William Defoe Under Your Bed

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Chapter 13: the fucking sleepover

Well then. I had a sleepover.

Ok, so here’s what happened.

Jack and Mac, hehe that somewhat rhymes, were outside for some reason. Jack was out, trying to get inspired for more of his work, by nature. Mac was doing god knows what. I mean, he’s a southern red neck, so he does whatever the fuck he wants to.

Well, from what I know, Jack was staring at a branch. Either he was trying to get inspired for his work, or he was having naughty thoughts about fucking the tree, much as Fluttershy did in “I want to be a tree”.

Therefore, Mac then came the fuck out of nowhere, and pull the branch down. I’m guessing he wanted Jack to stop having those naughty thoughts. Why am I writing naughty down anyway? I don’t know. Ever since I put that Moelestia thing down, I’ve been thinking about Molestia. That bitch, but, you know what. I’m not fucking explaining it.

Anyway, Jack got pissed off at Mac for taking down the branch. Then Mac told Jack that he was being a dumbass, by staring at shit. They then both got into a fight and one thing led to another.

Well, there was a storm. Yea, it was a bad one. The storm took over 10 lives, and surprisingly, no one gave a fuck. In fact, the dead bodies are still there. Of course, by now, they are skeletons, but I believe the town voted to have the dead bodies removed by next Tuesday.

Yea, apparently, the fillies were getting nightmares and the fillies were driving their parents nuts about having nightmares and shit. Well, the parents were fed up with it, and they decided to have the dead bodies removed.

Those little fuckers.

They ruined everything. Believe it or not,( hehe, Ripley’s believe it or not) that when I’m ever depressed or drunk as shit, I somehow talk to the dead bodies, as if they’re my friends.

Yes, you heard me right. I have dead bodies as friends, but only when I’m depressed or drunk. Other times, I just fucking to whatever the fuck I want to it. Moreover, no, I don’t fucking rape, but somehow a swarm of bees go rape the dead bodies every so often.

Apparently this town is an adult version of Ponyville. Well, on rare days that is. Most of the time, it’s like Ponyville, but I really don’t fucking no anymore.

Well, Mac and Jack were trying to take cover from the storm and failed to do so. Yea, Mac found one of the dead bodies, and used it as a pony shield, while Jack, just used a filly that was still alive.

I was surprised that the parents were not even pissed off. Then again, I believe from what I’ve heard from them, is that they called their child a mistake. Now, I know it seems like I hate children and shit, but truth be told, I really don’t. I just don’t see myself as a good remodel.

Therefore, I try to avoid them when ever I can. Besides, I just find that sad the there’s adults that think their child is a mistake.

Oh well then.

Later that kid died. Not from the storm, although he was fucked up a little bit, and he didn’t get medical treatment till two weeks later. I’m still surprised he survived after that.

Well, anyway, the filly or colt. I really don’t know what it was. Maybe both.

Well, as I was saying, the colt or filly was killed by the father, who was a drunk basturd. Funny thing is, that a month later, I got into a bar fight with him and I killed him.

Yep, his guts spilled all over the place. The wife tried to sue me, but I killed her before the court date. No bitch is going to sue me.

That fucking bitch.

Well, that means the family is all dead. Well, the thing is that the filly or colt went to heaven, but surprisingly the father as well. I saw him beating the child to a bloody pulp when I was in heaven.

Oh yea, I don’t know how to put this, but I will tell you how and why I went to heaven. In fact, I went to many other different heavens several of times. I will tell you how and when, when the time comes. However, until then you can just guess.

Oh right, and the mother ended up in hell. Although it’s not called hell here. It’s call purgatory. I mean, there is a devil, however, he’s not ruthless. In fact, he just rules that’s it. He doesn’t even tortures the poor souls that went to purgatory.

All the souls do is just do absolutely nothing at all. It’s kind of like that one part in hereafter, the one with Matt Damon I believe. I mean, they do some stuff sometimes, but most of the times, they just do nothing at all.

I actually met the ruler, and he’s a pretty nice guy when you get to know him, but he just says it’s his job to do this. So yea. It’s a fun hell.

So, back to the story. I was smoking weed, while Wolf was visiting Cantorlot. Yes, I said Cantorlot. Apparently, Celestia wanted to have a private meeting with him and something else as well. It was nothing bad, nor nothing with me. It was just something else. Therefore, I was left alone by myself.

That fucking doucebag.

In addition, of all the things that I did for him. Then again, I think that’s the weed talking. Yea, before I wrote this part, I smoked some shit before I wrote this part. What? The weed helps with writing and shit.

Therefore, I then noticed them outside, and of course, I wasn’t going to help them at all. Nevertheless, if you recall how I said the universe was making me say things that I wouldn’t usually say. Yea, my bodies forced itself up, and goes outside and yelled, “come inside! Quick! Before its gets any worse!”

yea, that happened. I can see the universe really wants me to repeat stuff here. However, to let you know, the universe eventually stops this, but it isn’t till I’m finished with the repeating and shit.

Well, Jack came in, then Mac, but Jack wanted to be a Gentlecolt to me, and had Mac go clean up outside with a hose.

First, how the fuck does he know I have a fucking hose. I mean, I know I have a hose somewhere around, it came with the place, but I never took it out. In fact, I believe it was still in the closet. I even checked on it, and apparently, the thing teleported outside. Why oh why is the universe doing this to me, I’ll never know.

Second, why the fuck does he need the hose. I mean its fucking raining outside. Use that fucking water instead of making my water bill go up.

Well, technically, Princess Celestia pays the bills to my place, so I could use all the fucking shit I want. That and along with food, and she already paid off the place for me to live at forever, so there’s that, but whatever.

Now, back on earth, that wouldn’t be such a great idea, since it could sometimes lead to diseases, but sometimes but not all the time though.

However, here, the water is recycled and even made. The thing is about is if the Pegasus makes their own snowflakes, rainbows, and shit. that means, they make rain or water as well.

Now, if you remember back in your schooling days, if you recall during science class, you know some of the laws of physics. For example, there is a law, where matter cannot be destroyed, nor created. It just simply transferred and shit.

Although, I’ve been breaking that laws of physics when I first found the portal to the universes and shit. So, suck it science. Fuck you and your laws.

Therefore, I guess that makes me a Neon Party and a Pinkie Pie. Then again, I have a reason for breaking the laws of physics. With Neon and Pinkie do it, they just do it at complete random.They just do out of the blue.

One minute you’re talking to either of them, then the next minute, they’re either disappeared without an excuse, or vanished for a second, and comes back, with a pack of dragon humping panda bees, that is fucking Chewbacca from Star Wars. While turkeys are killing living monkey butts, while chickens (scootaloos) are humping the planet Jupiter while cats have rainbows coming out of their asses.

Moreover, I’m dead fucking serious about that part. Just to tell this, that one day Pinkie came by for a quick visit, and I was talking to Neon. Well, Pinkie joined the conversation and that actually happened. Of course, the pony citizens panicked, and for once, they actually tried to figure out who did it.

Well, Neon and Pinkie just erased their memories of it ever happening, except for me. I still have nightmares of them coming into my room at night, watching me through the window, making sure I don’t say a word. Then again, I think that’s just Molestia doing that.

This for some reason is ok to me. Really, it’s not. I really don’t have a problem with that. Along as she doesn’t fucking rape me, I’m cool with it. Besides, she mostly does Wolf, but like I said before, she does me from time to time.

Now, what the fuck was I talking about? Fuck. This always fucking happen to me. I mention one thing, and then I completely go off track. Son of a fucking bitch. No wait, now I remember.

Equestria breaking the laws of physics. One more thing to say, that if scientist from Earth ever came and found out about how these ponies do things, they will be destroying textbooks about science. I mean, it’s like they’ve been doing something for nothing.

Oh well. Poor scientists and shit its clearly that I’m saying that I don’t give a fuck.

So, while Mac was outside doing god knows what. Maybe rednecks put those hoses up their asses are something.

Well, Jack thanked me for saving them for the rain. Now, the universe made me blurt out words that I didn’t want to say. I said, “Hey! Since the storm is really bad, why don’t you and Mac stay here and have a sleep over!?”

God I hate the universe. Why does it torture me so and making me say those cursed words. Dam it. Well, Jack looked at me awkward of course. I mean grownups don’t usually have that, unless of course it’s a friend who needs to stay at a place for a while, then moves out.

Well, anyway, that happened. What else happened was that the universe made me say, “I never had a sleepover before. Oh this will be perfect!”

yea, that’s not true. Of course, I had them when I was little. Well, Jack had a little smile on his face and agreed to it.

Now, what happened next was well, we did shit. Since putting mud and shit on our faces isn’t what a stallion usually do, we instead just drank a few beers, and just talked. Yea, we were just having fun and all.

By the way, I was lucky that the universe didn’t make me take out a book, that said, “all you wanted to know about sleepovers, but were afraid to ask.” That or “shit you didn’t know about sleepovers.” Alternatively, something like that.
I always had a problem with Twilight reading from that book. The thing is, that she said, “We have to do it by the book. It says so in the book.” From my point of view, the book is telling her what to do.

I mean, that would never happen in…. no wait. We have the bible, and apparently, it told christens to go to door-to-door and shove their religion down other people’s throats. In fact, that actually happened to me.

A retarded christen heard that term, and he went up to my door, opened my mouth, and tired to shove the book down my mouth. Well, I called the cops, and I really don’t know what happened to him. but for some odd reason, I keep getting this weird feeling inside of me that he was put down, and for some odd reason I keep getting this odd feeling as well, right before he died, he said, “me goes to sleep now.”

I feel like zombie Hitler has something to do with this. The thing is, that I actually went to a universe, where earth was taken over by zombie Hitler. I think he wanted revenge on me, he saw a retarded person, and killed him, but that’s just a theory though.

Well, as I was saying, that it seems like Twilight will do anything that the book tells her to do. Now, let me ask you this. Would Twilight kill her friends if the book told her to?

I can just see it when she’s talking to the princess about it. “But princess, the book said so. It said to kill my friends.” It would either be a trolling prank by spike, the book of the dead, or just a weird situation, where the book is trolling her, or it’s just a weird fucked up coincidence, that the book said so.

Well, after that, we told ghost stories. Jack told the one about the sleeping fucker.

Apparently the sleeping fucker is about a guy who was fucking ponies in his sleep. Then one night, he mysteriously died (possibly from aids), and legend has it, that the sleeping fucker will fuck you in your sleep. No matter what if you’re a mare or a stallion.

I told this story to Molestia once, while she was banging Wolf, and she got so scared, she jizzed all over the place. That and she molested Wolf and me at the same time, as if we were protection. Why do I feel like that was like a pun, or a bad joke? I don’t know.

Then Mac told the one of happy apple.

Apparently, it’s an old legend to the apple family. The story goes, that one day, an apple family member prayed to god (this universes god. I’ll explain later.) That he wanted an apple to come to life.

This apple family member was really obsessed with apples and apples was his life. Well one day, his wish came true, that an apple came to life. In fact, the apple was happy he was alive and well, that the unnamed pony named him happy apple. He started to play games with him and enjoy his time with him.

However, after a few days had passed, the apple started to get darker and creepier. He even started to say disturbing things, as in to kill his closets’ family members and friends. Happy apple even told him to make a bomb, and set it off in the market place, where thousands would burn. Of course, the pony refused to do it, so the apple just continued to decay day after day.

It was to the point, he was so creepy, and so life like instead of being cartoonist looking, that he started laughing at random, as if the apple had gone insane.

Well, one day, the pony was working the field of apples trees, and strangely got tired, and decided to take a little nap. His family members went away to visit other members of the family. The pony had to stay, so he could take care of the apples.

Well, the pony went to his bedroom, and took a what was supposed to be a small nap. Well, legend has it, that happy apple killed him and was never seen again.

From what I’ve heard, it seems to be a shitty creepy pasta, but the strange part is, that I looked into this. Apparently most farmers is familiar with this tale and there was a mysterious murder of an apple family member. I even went to see the family members about it, and they didn’t want to say a word to me.

Well, hopefully I didn’t ruin the comedy mood for you, nor do I hope I scared the shit out of you right now.

I also had a scary story of my own as well. It was supposed to be funny, but something ruined the mood for it. What happened was that I told of the tale of the unborn fetus.

That’s right folks. The unborn fetus returns, and I’m just so happy to bring this back to you guys. Of course, you know I’m trolling you by now.

Well, anyway, the unborn fetus never dies. Especially what happened during those events of Derpy, which we will never speak or mention again.

Why did she shove those muffins up her asshole? Please? Why god? Why do you still make me think those things?

Strange. I don’t know why I never asked her. If you wondering what the fuck I’m evening saying, like I said many of times before, you’ll find out later in the future, but for now, let’s continue.

So how I started this scary story, was that a mare, was pregnant (and we all know what mare that is. Derpy hooves? Although, how did she become pregnant?)

Her husband beated her to a bloody pulp almost every day. He was an alcoholic, and never even loved his wife.

Then why were they married? Well, why was Stalins mother married to an abusive father.

So anyway, the husband soon died of…. I don’t know, aids I guess. Who knows? Maybe it was STDs or something.

Well, soon, the wife wanted an abortion, and of course abortions don’t even exist in Equestria, and Jack and Mac were looking at me strangely. Well, I then switched to grabbing a knife, and cutting the baby out.

However, really, we could just say, she forgot that it doesn’t exist yet. Well, the reason why she wanted it out was that she thought the baby will be the devil or something more like of that of the father himself. I have no fucking clue what I’m saying.

Well, one night, the fetus disappears without a trace, until she found it in the toilet. Well, she grabbed a trash bag, dragged it over to the dump, and dumped it to be picked at by animals.

Well, legend has it, that the unborn fetus was alive. In addition, legend has it, that if you go out into the woods at night, the unborn fetus will be watching you.

He will smell the fear off of you, and some say, he has tentacles and has no eyes at all, but only of a mouth the unborn fetus has. Moreover, if you look at him, he will take your soul. But if you mange to escape his grasp, don’t relax, because he will follow you home, and makes sure you don’t see the next day.

In addition, unfortunately for me, Mac and Jack were in the woods early that day, and I had no fucking idea they did that. They were shriving man. It was somewhat fun to watch. I wonder if I could someday tell the tale of cupcakes and rainbow factory. I bet they will shit themselves with that one.

Well, unfortunately, that if you remember that unborn fetus from the time Doctor Whooves was here, well, he was still around.

I mean, I did tell you about how Wolf put him in our neighbors’ mailbox. By the way, I remember the next morning, Wolf and me had our snacks and shit.

We watched him just scream when he saw the unborn fetus in his mailbox.

However, apparently, I made him go to therapy, because somehow, his wife had a miscarriage, and he thought it was the ghost of the unborn child. Whatever, it’s still funny to watch. In fact, we took the unborn fetus back, and we continued to fuck with his mind even more.

It was hilarious to watch. Trust me, it was. Well, after our neighbor was cured, we kind of dumped him off at the dump.

Well, to my knowledge, at first, I made that story up, with the unborn fetus and all, but what I didn’t know was, that it was all true.

Yes. There’s an unborn fetus slenderman now lurking in the woods of the forest. However, apparently, I don’t give a fuck about it.

Well, what happened was, that I slowly came behind Mac and Jack, and said boo(classic), but what happened next, terrified me.

The unborn fetus was right behind me, and said in the creepiest voice I have ever heard in my life. “Dada!”

we were all screaming in fear that night. Well, I fortunately had a gun on me, and I shot it, but for some reason, it was that terminator from terminator 2. It was like the liquid person.

Well, shit fuck.

Mac was fortunately was able to knock it out with a pan. The question is, what did we do with it?

We stuck it back into my neighbors’ mailbox.

Yea, and to let you know what happened, he went back therapy again.

However, I was kind of annoying though. He kept screaming every night. He was so loud; I could hear him from next door. I mean, my house and his house, are roughly fifteen to twenty feet away from each other. In addition, to let you know, after the town found the unborn fetus, the unborn fetus disappeared.

Which I found out later, that story I told, was what he exactly did. Great. I created a monster now. In addition, apparently, I’m his dada. Where, I guess you can say, I fucking disowned him, and he was my least favorite child. Of course, I don’t have any children, so yea, there you go.

In addition, one more thing, that happy apple story Mac told, I have to admit, that it makes you think. I mean, it make you think, that did the pony was just so obsessed with apples, was it his imagination, or was there a murdering apple that’s a psychopath.

Now I feel like a retarded dumbass when I just wrote that. Whatever.

Therefore, what happened next was making smores. Well, it was peaceful, at first, but somehow Mac took some crack from the dragon that one time and Jack and Mac were all over the place.

I didn’t have any, because I was smoking weed. smoking weed doesn’t go well with smores. It goes good with heroin.

Well, it took them a while to calm down and while they were high, they made a bath tub full of acid, and dumped a dead body into it. Don’t ask me where they got a dead body from. I wouldn’t know, other than those dead bodies that were outside of course.

Well, then we had a pillow fight at first, but then turned out to be a gunfight. Apparently, Jack said something to Mac that Jack wouldn’t take back and they broke through one of my walls. They broke through so hard, that they were in my hidden basement.

What were they? The men of steel?

Well, they then grabbed my homemade guns, and started to shoot at one another. Now, how they knew how to use it, and what it was is beyond me.

Eventually they calmed down, and then they asked what they had in their hooves. I told them to shut the fuck up and go to bed. I had to fucking clean the place up, so I didn’t want to be ignored by them.

Therefore, they did. Well, eventually, I cleaned up the place, although, there was some fluid from the unborn fetus, and I took it for a little trolling prank for Wolf.

Well, I went to my bedroom and when I went up stairs, the two were fighting to the death. Along with a strange Star Trek death battle music in the background that neither of them noticed.

In addition, both Mac and Jack decided to share a bed. Not that they are gay, but Jack brought up a good point, that if it’s a sleepover, it’s should be in the hosts room and for some reason, I have a futon in there.

I honestly didn’t know I have a futon. In fact, this universe doesn’t even have futons, although they do have it, but barley anyone knows its existence. Therefore, I don’t know where a futon came from, but it was there.

Well, then the tree branches broke my window. Yea, the thing is that Mac and Jack took the tree branches down or whatever that they were doing. It was safe.

It was just that all the way in Ponyville, the tree branches weren’t all taken down. Apparently, applejack didn’t get them all in time. Nice going Applejack! You fucking Bitch!!

Well, Jack and Mac realized the accident, and made up and fixed my window and shit. Well, you think everything else is all fixed and there are no problems.

Well then, you are a fucking dumbass then. If you think about of all the shit that has happened to me, you would know that everything isn’t safe.

Well, I got a knock on the door. I didn’t answer it and som ponies break down the door! The ponies then came up to me and asked where the fuck Mac is.

Then Mac heard the noise, came down, and ran to hide. Apparently, Mac was in debt with the Godstallion, and owed him money he never paid.

Now the Godstallion sent his bounty hunters after Mac. Well, Jack came to save the day, but was knocked out within seconds.

Well, I would kill them, but since these are ponies that don’t know who I am, I had to play it cool. In other words, knock them out with a frying pan. Which I did, but I think I might’ve killed one of them, because the back of one of their heads were bleeding and they didn’t come back to consensuses.

Well, we put the other pony in a chair and tied him to it. Mac and Jack eventually came back to the land of the living and we interrogated him. We tried everything, but somehow, I had an AIDS syringe lying around in my hidden basement and which I then got and gave him aids.

In addition, I had an AIDS syringe so I could figure out a possible cure for it, but the syringe were good in these type of situations like these I guess.

Well, that got him to talk apparently. Well, he then told where the Godstallion was hiding and we knew what we had to do. If you’re thinking we went after him, you’re wrong.

What we did is, Mac and Jack got rid of the bodies, and buried them in the ground, along with one of them still alive, while I smoked weed.

Then we headed out to Neon’s place, which we had to break in, since he lived in the party shop. The owners somehow didn’t get up when we broke in. I mean, there was no alarm system are anything.

Therefore, we went up to Neon’s room and he opened immediately. Apparently, he was still up at two o’clock at night.

He had music in the background, while jumping around the place, while saying “woohoo!” like Daffy Duck would say. We went into his room and it was fucking amazing. Even more amazing the Pinkie Pies room.

Well, that happened.

Neon offered us some cake, but we declined. Mac and jack didn’t want any, since it was night time and all. I didn’t want any because I don’t trust Neon with the cake.

I think he drugged it, which we will be then knocked out, be dragged to a hidden secret basement, then have our organs harvested like in Cupcakes. Well, the pony was already a complete psychopath. Why not admit the truth? I do wonder, if Bronies back on earth heard about Neon and my adventures, I wonder if someone would make a Neon Cupcake fanfic.

Along as I’m not the victim, I’ll be fine, although, I would feel bad for Forest though.

Well, we asked Neon if he could help us get rid of Mac’s debt with the Godstallion and he agreed to. After that, he disappeared and we didn’t see him till the next morning. When the morning came, we got up, got the newspaper that I have on my doorstep, and it was somewhat fucked up.

Apparently, Neon burned the Godstallion place of business, all of his men raped and killed. Then there was a bunch of unborn fetuses.

Oh god why.

Then there were cats and dogs pissing on each other at the crime scene. Then apparently the god stallion was at the orchestra last night, which Celestia and Luna were there. Although, no one knew he was the Godstallion, but he was apparently an important business pony.

Well, apparently, Neon cut his throat, ate his legs, pissed on him, raped him, chopped off his head, cut off his horn that he had, cut off his cutie mark, and harvested all of his organs.

My god. It was true. Neon had become what we have all feared. Pinkie Pie from Cupcakes, although that would be in a good way, since he was a corrupted pony and all.

Also, since Neon killed the Godstallion, that means he’s the new one. However, he said he didn’t want it, so he gave it to me.

I turned it down, because I didn’t feel like being responsible for innocent deaths I guess you could say. I don’t really fucking know why I turned it down.

In addition, I gave the position to Mac, but he turned it down, so it’s the Godstallions second in command.
Well, that was the highlight of my day and shit. I then sent Mac and Jack home and continued to smoke weed.

(The reason why I say or is because threes another ending to this chapter. I was throwing these two endings around in my head and I couldn’t choose which one to do. I mean, I wanted to have something short and sweet, along with some comedy involved. However, at the same time, I wanted something a little more serious with still comedy involved in it. so here’s the second ending. I pretty much decided to do both. So, you can just decide which ending is better for you in your opinion.)

Mac and Jack made up, and stopped fighting and shit. Well, then Factory Dash came in. She walked out of my hidden basement and shit and went to ask me something.

Well, Mac and Jack just stared at Factory Dash, because she had blood on her face. I then knocked both of them out with a frying pan. Factory Dash and I talked for a while, deciding what to do.

Then all of a sudden, some ponies kick down my door. They came up to me, asking where Mac was. I asked them why and they said that he owed the Godstallion money. Yes. Mac was in debt to the mob.

Shit fuck.

What happened next was, well, it’s simple. Factory Dash and I kicked their asses. We pretty much killed all of them and Factory Dash was going to use them for the Factory and shit.

Factory Dash and I then went to wake up Mac, to ask him where the fuck the Godstallion is at. I didn’t want more bounty hunters to keep coming to my fucking house.

I eventually asked him, and he said he was somewhere in Manehattan. Then I knocked him out again for no reason at all.

I then teleported me and Factory Dash to Manehatten, where is the Godstallion’s main operation is at. Of course, I grabbed my guns and shit, so we can kill him and all.

I also knew how to teleport to Manehatten, because, well like I said before, my magic is powerful.

Therefore, we did that and went to the address Mac told me. It was an underground operation that was attached to a disguise building, which was an Italian place.

Well, that makes a lot of sense. Mob people are Italian.

Therefore, we went through the basement door and we killed a whole lot of fucking ponies.

We eventually found the office, which was all dark. In fact, it was dark as fuck. We found the desk and the chair was looking in the other direction.

Well I called him out and then the chair turned around. It had a dead pony sitting in it, with a TV attached to his head, kind of like with the joker in the Arkham series.

Of course, ponies in this universe don’t have any TV’s so this was done by someone on the outside. The TV finished with the static and a message poped up on the screen.

There was also a voice over that sounded like from Portal 2 on it.

It said, “TF would like to thank you for your participation. Now this place will explode in 21 seconds. Have a nice day.”

Well, Factory Dash and I sprinted out of the building and got out just in time before the bomb went off. I mean, as we were running, we saw the bombs and they were attached to the walls.

Eventually, other ponies came to see the commotion, we hid behind another building, and all that shit. We tried to catch out breaths and we tried to talk it over.

I mean, how did TF know I was going over there. Of course, at the time, I knew he was planning something. something big for me. I didn’t know what, but it was something.

Then Factory Dash grabbed something out that she found in the building, which was a note for the Godstallion to go to the orchestra in Cantorlot tonight.

I then told Factory Dash she was relived from her duties so I can go kill this guy myself. I also told her to tell what happened here to TK. He would possibly figure something what the fuck was going on here.

I then teleported to Cantorlot and It just happened that I teleported right in front of the music hall.

Of course, the music was about to begin. So what was happening inside?

Well, everypony were taking their seats. Of course, it was the high-class snooty French ponies. Actually, I had no idea what they were. I mean, they were snobs indeed, but the type of snob I didn’t know.

Well, the announcer said that Celestia, Luna, Twilight were there and were attending the show. They also said my name, but I wasn’t there. They said my name as the personal student of Celestia and what not. They all took their seats, which by the way, Wolf was there too.

Twilight asked him where the fuck I was at. Including Celestia as well. She then asked Wolf, if I had gotten the letter from her three days ago. Well, I did, I just threw in the pile of shit that you keep giving me.

Fucking Bitch.

Well, the music than began. I watched all of this happened and I spotted the Godstallion. How did I know what he looked like? I found pictures of him back in Manehatten of course.

I spotted him, but I didn’t know how to kill him without attracting attention. Therefore, I went down there to get Wolf. Of course, Celestia the others saw me and asked why I was late. I then said the only thing I could come up with.

Aids happened.

Of course, with the universe and all, Celestia heard me say there was a storm. Fucking universe. She told me to take my seat, but I then told her I had to talk with Wolf for a moment.

I took him into the bathroom stalls and him what had happened and my plan. I then stayed in the bathroom, while Wolf got the Godstallion. I told Wolf to get the Godstallion to the bathroom however he could.

What he did, was whacking him in the head was a lead pipe. For some reason, no one saw this happened. Apparently the classical music is more appealing than a pony being beaten to death.

Well, Wolf then made a run for it back to the bathroom. He did without a scratch and I killed the Godstallion.

Of course, his followers saw this and bowed down to me, as I was the new Godstallion. Yea, no. Long story short, I gave the leading position to the second in command.

I then went back home and of course, Celestia asked where I was, but my response was, I had aids. Of course, what she heard was that I wasn’t feeling too well and that’s why I was in the bathroom.

Well, that was the highlight of my day.

I then went back home, kicked out Jack and Mac, which were left in the street for the rest of the night and smoked weed and get drunk.

Episode 14: Bridle Gossip of a Black Guy Pony

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Chapter 14: the Black Guy Pony

(Note: ok, this a serious note here, that if you are ever are offended by my fanfics with the jokes, then i do apologize for it. i wouldn't normally do this apology with my fanfics, but i feel like i should, because i think one day, a guy is going to read this and likes it, but its runied for him because of the jokes and he gets offended and complains about it as all muslims do.)

Well, this part of my life happened after the events of the sleepover. I mean, I remember when I woke up in the morning, it felt like I had a hangover. Maybe the universe was making me fell like it for trying to tell the truth to Celestia. I mean, I was fine when I was at Cantorlot, but now, I felt like I had a hangover.

Like I was reified. Well, I was right. Apparently, Wolf trolled me, by putting reifies in my weed and beer, son of a bitch. At the time, I didn’t know what I did. I could’ve fucked a chicken, which meant I fucked a Scootaloo.

Well, shit. Who knows, maybe I had a tiger in my bathroom. Which surprisingly, I did. well then, it’s like I had a hangover adventure for me. I looked outside, and the place was a wreck.

It was odd indeed, because no one was outside. I wondered, did I kill everypony? Because if I did, well then. Looks like I was going to pony hell. Where all you do, is absolutely fucking nothing.

Great punishment.

Well, of Crouse, there was that hell pony that I knew, so it wouldn’t have been that bad.

Well, I found Wolf in the bathtub, who had a missing tooth, and I carried him outside and sprayed him with the hose. He soon woke up, asking where the fuck he was. I told him to get his ass up, and we walked the town.

Of Crouse, we knew we did something that night and we decided to figure out what had happened. Well, I then heard Neons voice to go near him.

I was afraid. I was wondering if he was going to harvest my organs. I then thought, “No. Neon couldn’t have killed all of the townspeople within a hour. He would’ve had to have plenty of coolers to put the organs in, so they would continue to be fresh and not rot.”

Well, I went over to him, which was a hugh risk, psychopath or not.

He then quickly took me into the party store, as if he was pedo bear from the internet. Of course, he would be raping me, but then again, I wasn’t a child. Whatever.

Therefore, I was in the party store, and everything was dark as fuck. Neon eventually lilted a candle and slowly, creepily showed everyone else to me.

I asked why everyone was in here, and they said the Zebra was why. I faced hoof. I mean, really.
The black guy pony.

Maybe I should explain myself. You see, back on earth, I called Zecroa Black guy Pony, since she sounded black. That and she was a Zebra after all. You know. Zebras are from Africa, whatever.

You get offended, you get offended.

Well, other than white ponies being afraid of black ponies, that seems to be like bombs to them, I asked if Mac and Jack how they felt.

The thing is, it’s not that I actually give a fuck about their feelings, but I was starting to think something was up. Well, I asked, and they said they had hangovers as well. I then looked at Wolf, who just simply didn’t give a fuck.

That fucker.

Well, we hid in that party shop for about one or two hours, before the black guy pony came. In other words, Zecora. She was looking around, and gave a sigh.

I’m guessing she was tired of ponies being afraid of her, or in other words, having this happen again to her. She then walked away, but no pony came out.

I then asked the guys what would happen if I went to Zecroa. Well, Neon said that she would cut my neck, rape me, eat my legs, and harvest my organs.


Strange, I was looking at one right now. Therefore, I was guessing Neon is the black guy pony. As you can tell, that was a sarcastic joke.

Well, anyway, while I was talking, Macs little brother, shadow eclipse. I have to admit, that’s an awesome name for a pony. That is a fucking awesome name

. Well, anyway, shadow ran away from us, little fucker. Shadow was trying to go and meet Zecora, but Mac refused to let him, since he’s the bigger brother and all doesn’t want him to get hurt, which reminds me of something.

Well anyway, Shadow escaped and went after Zecora. I also have to admit, he’s a brave little one too. I mean, of all the ponies that I have met; he’s the bravest of them all for going into the Everfree.

I mean, sure there was the other guys, but I convinced them. How? By absolute nothing. Now, did that make any sense to you? Neither did I make any sense of it.

Moving on.

Well, he moved through the Everfree and was almost at Zecroas hut, which was a decent amount of travel done by him.

However, Mac noticed he was gone the moment he left the store. We followed him and as shadow was going to meet Zecroa, Mac and the others stopped him. By the way, they were in the fields of the blue mutated hybrid flowers.

I mean, I wasn’t in it, since I remember this episode, so I stayed away from it. of course, why didn’t I tell the others. I really do not give a fuck about them. I mean, it’s fun to be with them sometimes and it’s good to be their friends, but I really don’t give a fuck about them.

Besides, it’s only a flower that makes fun of you and possibly is racist. Son of a fucking bitch. I just realize that they would’ve torched a black pony, which would’ve been racist and shit. Strange how I just realized this so many years in the future after it happened.

Well, as I was saying about the racist flowers, yea, there you go. Therefore, the guys threaten Zecroa, to never come back to Stalia and what not.

Well, we all eventually went back home, but it took us the entire day, since Zecroas home was near Ponyville and it takes a while to travel through the Everfree.

I was going to figure out what happened with Jack, Mac, and I but I decided to say fuck it and smoke weed and go to bed. When I woke up, it was the fucking universe again.

I got up to go to the bathroom to take a piss. Well, I looked in the mirror and nothing happened to me. Well, I then went to the living room, to smoke my morning weed.

I used my levitation spell to grab the weed, but the spell didn’t happen. Instead, what came were two little fireworks, like Asian fireworks that are illegal.

You know. The ones that you would get in illegal Mexico or the illegal part of Mexico, where they have the illegal Asian fireworks.

Yea, two of those popped out. The first one exploded and it gave me a message, saying, “FUCK YOU, singed, the Universe.” then the second one exploded, and it showed a troll face.

I think I have an arch enemy now. It’s this universe.

Yes, apparently, the universe wants to make me do my destiny. How about no. I’ll tried to continued to resist. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to feed the paresprite.

Well, I went to wake up Wolf, and Wolf wasn’t wooden anymore. He had actual fur on him and not magic. When Wolf woke up, he was shocked and asked why. I yelled, “Dam you universe. Dam you! Dam you to HELL!! You blew it up! You blew it up!!” I then got up from the ground, pretending that I didn’t do the ending for the original planet of the apes.

Well, the next thing you know, the room got cold and the window was also broken as well. It was Forest of course, and instead of fire, he was ice. Yea, his coat color change from fire colors to ice colors. You know, like light blue and shit. Well, you might as well call him icestallion.

You know, like iceman from X-men or was that even from X-men. I think he was, but icemen is gay, so I guess whatever you want to say then.

Forest came to me and said it was the black pony’s fault. Really, I don’t think black ponies can do this unless they’re from Africa.

You got offended yet? If so, then I’m surprise you’re still reading this. I mean, I made a whole bunch of jokes that would offend people, and you’re still reading it. Just admit it. You enjoy the racist stuff. Besides, if you ever seen Avenue Q, everyone’s a little bit racist.

After Forest said what he said, the rest of the gang came in. what I saw next was what the fuck. I saw a kangaroo, Neon who had a sad expression on his face, a deformed pony, who might’ve had AIDS, applejack, and a midget pony. Ok, so let me explain here.

The kangaroo was Arrell. That explains a lot, but of course, no one else got it. If you remember in chapter 3, I said he had an Australian voice accident. Therefore, yea, we had a fucking kangaroo, which possiably could box.

The deformed pony was Jack. I think the flowers are starting to have a sick mind for jokes.

As for applejack, it wasn’t applejack. It was Mac. Mac did say it was somewhat of his nightmare. It did make sense for him, because he and applejack aren’t quite on good terms for being cousins and all.

As for the midget, that was shadow. I think the flowers didn’t think he was small enough as it is, so they made him a midget.

As for Neon, well, he cried and said he couldn’t break the laws of physics. Really, that’s supposed to be a joke. That’s normal. Well, Neon cries, because he couldn’t do jackshit anymore.

So apparently, everypony knew what he could, but didn’t find it awkward. I just give up on Neon and Pinkie. Neon also said he couldn’t harvest the organs. We all looked at him as if he was an insane and just looked at us back. He said, “You try not doing random things.”

I don’t know if Neon is self aware anymore about his flaws and….. You know what. I just fucking give up.

Therefore, what happened was everypony blamed Zecroa, and were going to set her on fire for doing this. That or beat the living shit out of her.

Of course, I could’ve stopped it, but the universe stopped my magic. I mean, whatever spells that I do, it always shows those two little illegal Asian fireworks.

Well, it was still early in the morning, and not everypony was outside, we the guys just went after Zecroa. All right, and shadow went to find Zecroa, and Wolf made fun of us.

Let’s see, he came up with kangaroo Arrell, jacked up Jack, regular Neon, bitch Mac, Shadow midget, Forest ice, and as for me, it was fucker. Great job their Wolf. You’re a fucking dumbass.

I tried to think of a name for Wolf, but all I can come up with was sick Wolf. You want to know why he’s sick. He likes being molested; he has good dreams of that moment with Derpy, he’s a fucking troll, and wants to fuck a pony. Yes, that’s right.

Don’t remember?

Remember back in chapter 3 how I said he wanted to fuck a fucking pony. Yea, I didn’t forget that. How could I forget it? He said it in my face in the weirdest of all ways, by humping the air.

Well, the guys went after the black guy pony, while me and Wolf took out time to get to Zecroa. Well, we eventually got there, and what I saw was Neon have a match.

I knew we should’ve had that intervention soon.

Well, all I did was grabbed one Of Zecroa chairs, and knocked out Neon. Yea, he was bleeding a little bit.

The guys let Zecroa go. Oh, right. I forgot to mention that the guys tied her up in a chair. I’ll admit, they were going a little too far with this one.

I just decided to say fuck it and explain to them that Zecroa wasn’t evil. I explained everything to them about how the mane six knew them and she wasn’t all that bad.

Of course, Zecroa had a look on her face, and asked me how I knew the mane six. I didn’t feel like explaining it, so I made Wolf handle that part, while I smoked weed. Yea, I had some weed with me.

Also, midget Shadow walked into the room, with a few items, and asked why was Zecroa was tied down, why was she was covered in gasoline(I’m surprised these ponies know what that is. Then again, they do use it for floats and shit.), and why was Neon bleeding.

Mac bitch just said he would tell him when he’s older. That’s strange. Maybe he already told him what sex was. I did asked him and he said he somewhat knew of it and was a little bit afraid of it, since he had a well-described description of it when he was told.

He was also told by Mac.

Yea, if Mac ever got married and had kids, he would be unfit to be a husband and a father.

Well, we eventually calmed down, explained ourselves, and said we were sorry. She also offered us the cure for the flowers, which we did except. I also asked why was she was in Stalia and apparently, one of us took something from her. It was an African mask.

Apparently, it was when Mac, Jack, and I had that hangover. Apparently, Jack didn’t notice the fucking scary mask over his bed.

Therefore, we gave it back and we took the cure. We also went to the local spa to do it and we are all better. Mac, jack and I also asked if she knew anything about our hangover.

She said she knew, but we had to come back the next day, since she had a place to clean up.

Oh right and for you Neon fans out there, I put Neon in a comma for 3 days. He eventually was cured from the flowers, but he was a little pissed off, but calmed down, and we were still friends.

Now, all I had was a Hangover Adventure.

Episode 15: A Hangover Adventure

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Chapter 15: A Hangover Adventure

It was morning, and it was the day after the events of episode 9. All I thought was just to wait for episode 10.

Well, I got out of bed, and I tested out my magic and there were no illegal Asian fireworks this time.

I got and went to smoke my morning weed and shit. I also got breakfast, which were pancakes from Applejack’s who made it for me. I also saw a box of muffins, and all it did was bring back memories we will never speak of. I just stared at it, as if it has taken my innocence.

Well, of course this is completely boring and you want some shit to happen. Well, I woke up; Wolf was somewhere to be found. I mean, no windows were broken, so he didn’t get high in the middle of the night. No empty beer bottles lying outside, that leads to Wolf on a park bench. There was no dead bodies or an unborn fetus.

Speaking of the unborn fetus, not too long ago, there was a newspaper article about 8 ponies missing in the woods. Not the Everfree one, but the local and safe one. The article said that the only evidence they have for the kidnapped kids were a strange birthing liquid. Alternatively, after birth liquid I guess. Yes. The unborn fetus is this universe Slenderman.

I wonder if this universe had any computers, there would be an unborn fetus game, like slender. That would be kind of cool and funny at the same time.

Well, as I said, I couldn’t find Wolf anywhere. In fact, he didn’t even go to bed the night before, because usually Wolf’s bed is filled with beer bottles and cocaine and shit. yea, Wolf did crack sometimes.

Well, I then heard a knock on my door, hoping it was Wolf coming back from burying a dead body. Well, it wasn’t. It was Forest, who came to get me to go to the hospital.

If you recall me knocking my friend out Neon, yea, he was in the hospital and shit. We all decided to go visit him, since he was in a comma after all.

Well, Forest and I walked to the hospital. As we were walking, I noticed some business had broken windows, and unbelievably, a fresh dead body showed up, but no pony gave a flaming fuck about it.

Well, we then got to the hospital, and there were some strange few injuries as we went to the floor where we needed to go. When we got to Neon’s room, all of my friends were sitting in chairs and talking to the doctor.

My friends didn’t really hate me for putting Neon into a comma. In fact, they really don’t give a fuck.

Well, Arrell talked to the doctor, and the doctor said he didn’t know when Neon would wake up. He also said he had to do surgery on him since when I knocked him out, he did bleed a little. Well, it wasn’t a little bleed, it was… know what? It was a shit load of blood that he lost. Thankfully, though, they gave him a blood transplant, and his brain should be fine. Now only if they could make sure Neon doesn’t break the laws of physics again, that would be nice. In fact, he actually did at one point, but gained it back. I’ll tell that story for another time. However, for now, let’s continue.

After the doctor left, we just sat and talked for a while. Then Jack told me and Mac we had to go. Yea, if you recall, Zecroa would tell us what happened to us when we were reified by Wolf.

We all walked out of the room and headed on outside. When we left the building, I felt a strange presence, that somepony was following us. I told this to Mac, and he said, “Don’t worry about it. Its possibly just AIDS” now, I have no comment on this. I mean, just fuck it.

We walked through the Everfree and eventually found Zecroas hut. Along with the strange presence, I might add. We entered Zecroas hut, to find Twilight here by surprise.

Applejack was also there too, and Mac had high blood pressure. You could tell, because he was spraying blood everywhere. I’m not fucking kidding you, his blood vessels popped, and was spraying out of his fur or coat or whatever the fuck you want to call it. He loosed so much blood, Applejack just ran out. Thank god, black guy ponies have magic shit to help fix Macs disabilities and all.

In addition, as Twilight was walking out to go with her friend Applejack, she was staring at me, while having rosy cheeks.

Well, like I said before, she did have a crush on me, and I found that to be fucking weird as shit. Well, Jack also noticed this, and he asked me if we had something going on. As I said before, I didn’t at the time she had a crush on me, but later on I found out.

Well, we decided to skip that part, and move on with Zecroa. She told us to take a seat, so we did. She had a long introduction of to what we did when we had a hangover and all.

Well, when she was about to tell us what had happened. Three ponies knocked down Zecroa’s door, and started to fire spells at us.

I then did the smart thing, and not what black guys would do. I threw the table down on the ground, so it would act as a barrier for us. Now, what black people would do, would grab out a glock, and start shooting up the place.

Surprisingly, yea, it happened with Zecroa. She grabbed out a special portion, put into something, and started to fire back. Man. I’m just making fun of these things and I’m getting these right.

Well, I then rolled my eyes when I saw this, so I just broke down one of Zecroa’s walls and left Zecroa. What? If you think that’s racist of me, then whoever you are you have a problem of thinking everything is racists.

I mean, you must think an apple is racist to gingers or to Lauren Faust. How would that offend someone, I wouldn’t know, but those stupid people who… whatever. You get the fucking point now. Besides, what do you want people?

What!? You want everything to be black and white? Well then that would offend Asians, whites, and black people.

Therefore, in the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd, happy shut the fuck up. Even though that has nothing to do right now, let’s move on.

Ok, so I grabbed Zecroa and took her back to Ponyville while Jack, Mac, and me took care of the ponies that were trying to kill us. Unfortunately, Zecroa was shot in the leg, so we just sat her by some trees and shit. However, of course, I wanted to have some fun with this so I put her by a tree that looked like an African tree, that possibly had AIDS.

What? Well it’s true. Africa is a continent that’s made up of AIDS. There’s no way of escaping the truth, so just take the truth and move on with life.

After we did that, we went to fight off the ponies that were attacking. Now, of course, I didn’t expect to kill anypony, which we didn’t so, I have no idea why I said that.

However, guess what, Slenderfetus came to save the day. That’s right folks. Slender etus or the unborn fetus killed the ponies and took the dead bodies back to its lair. We just don’t question it, ok.

Therefore, after the Slenderfetus came to save us, well, we took Zecroa back to Ponyville so she could get medical treatment and shit. Moreover, when I mean by that, we just dragged her Zebra ass along the ground, even though she tried to resist and all and we dropped her off 5 miles from Ponyville, and gave her a few bits for her troubles. Yea, we were good ponies that day.

From what I’ve heard, she crawled on the ground until she was founded by some timber wolves, who then dragged her to their den, raped her, and dropped her off in the middle of town, which by the fucking way, the ponies noticed, and almost panicked. Therefore, Ponyville is the town that makes sense, while Stalia is the town that makes no sense.

I guess the two towns or the tale of two towns. I just ruined a Charles Dickens joke, didn’t I? Well, whatever. I mean, Twilight did find her, and brought her to the hospital, which they couldn’t take her, because they were treating too many ponies who had fainted, who was also possibly in a comma like Neon was.

Although I knocked him out with a wooden chair. However, from what I’ve heard, when the town was panicking, ponies were going insane, and whacking each other’s heads. I feel like that part should’ve been included in the Ponyville tourism video I remember from YouTube.

Well, what happened next was we figured the ponies had to do something with what happened during our hangover. That or it was the mob trying to whack us. Alternatively, possibly the griffin guy who somehow came back, and decided he wanted revenge on me, or though the chances of that were likely.

To tell you the truth, that acutely did happen, well short of.

Therefore, we all went back to our homes, to search our homes to see if there was any evidence of what had happen. Now, I was the only one that search, technically.

Mac did jack shit or in other words, apple shit. While Jack, well, he did search, but for only about 30 minutes, gave up, and went to bed. With Mac, well, he just did apple shit like I said, but he just got drunk, took a shit, complained about applejack, and passed out. For me, I actually did search, for about two or three hours. I searched everywhere, but still nothing.

Well, I then decided to go take a nap, and wait for day two and all. In addition, this has nothing to do with anything at all, but I dreamed of a memory like dream.

Now, it wasn’t my memory, and in fact, I know what it is, but you guys will have to wait for that explanation later. Now, what I dreamed about is this, that I was in a castle, or kingdom like building, and I saw Lauren Faust’s pony or what she would look like if she were a pony.

Now, of course, I know what this.. Ok, I’m pretty sure by now, that there’s going to be a reveal for this explanation in the future. I’m just trying to build some build up to it. Kind of like in the legend of Zelda game, the original one.

You know, how the game always talked about Gannon, but you didn’t know what he looked like. I’m mean, you knew you were going to have to fight him off in the end of the game, but before the fight even happened, it was a mystery of what Gannon looked like.

So, in other words, I’m just trying to surprise you guys, however, will I try to tell you now. Fuck no! I just want to make you guys have a look on your face when you get to the part what I’m talking about , even though I won’t see it, since I’m in the MLP universe and all, but still. Trust me; it is quite interesting if you ask me.

So, continuing with the dream, actually, well, without spoiling the truth, so fuck you, that’s all you get. A kingdom with Laruen Faust’s pony. Try to guess and figure what I’m talking about. If you get it, then good for you, it’s just that you won’t be surprised when I reveal it to you. In fact, I’m just going to help you out a bit, and remind you of what the pony looked like. So here, it is folks.

yea, as for the kingdom part, I don’t know what to tell you about that. I mean, I guess it all depends on your point of view is or picture of a kingdom.

I mean there’s like a classic British people or in other words, wizards. Medieval kingdoms. Magical land or fairy tales kingdoms.

In addition, if you want to be a religious person, there’s the gods kingdom and shit. you know, be on the clouds, saying fuck you to your friends and family members because they’re in hell, holding up a middle finger in the air facing the ground, saying fuck you dad, you piece of shit. Then getting like drunk with other angels, like Andy Griffith, Don Knots, Neil Armstrong, Bob Hope, John Wayne and Walt Disney.

No wait, John Wayne and Walt Diseny are in hell. I completely for got about Walt Disney hating the Jews. Speaking of Jews, I did make some nice and possibly offensive Jewish jokes back on earth.

As for now, I’ll give you one, but if there’s any opportunity for one later, I’ll do it. So, basically this is it.

When you’re American, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can say fuck you to the Muslims and take a shit on the Eiffel tower, and no one will give a fuck, along as you’re not a Jew.

Yea, I have better ones then that, but you had to use it in the right moment or it wouldn’t work, but at least you got one, right? What am I doing here, I’m just getting off track aren’t I.

Ok then, let’s move on. Therefore, I then woke up, and the place was still a wreck. Yea, forgot to tell you. After the day of Zecroa and shit, the place still wasn’t cleaned up.

Anyway, I was still tried, and wanted to go back to sleep, but I heard a noise in the kitchen, so I decided to go check it out. When I went to where the noise came from, well, I found a tiger.

Yea, I forgot to tell you, when I woke up the morning and found out Wolf reified me, well, there was a tiger. I just wondered why I didn’t get rid of it. The tiger was digging through the pantry. I just shrugged it off and went back to bed, as if it was normal. I mean, what is normal anymore. Besides, he’ll be the new Wolf till I get the old one back. Although, when Wolf came back, I still kept the tiger. I have no idea where the tiger came from, but he was awesome. In fact, I kept him as a pet.

Sure, I was possibly still had to get an owl as a pet, like what Twilight did, but this way, I can have two pets. A tiger and a bird. Nice.

Well, I then went back to my bed, and was trying to go back to sleep. However, I just couldn’t. I kept thinking about the dream that I had. I mean, sure I know what it means now, but back then, it kept me thinking questions.

Did the dream mean anything? Was it foretelling a future or was It fake?

Now, we’re going to get science shit here. Therefore, the thing with dreams is that your brain is at rest when you’re sleeping. This is the time when your brain is basically organizing things around in your brain, trying to make sure nothing goes wrong with you. However, while this is happening, your brain seems to also have this weird shit happening also, or like fake simulators, which are your dreams.

Now, I know I put this in a shitty, way, so, basically, I’m going to let Vsauce handle this. Vsauce!?

Well, I kept asking these questions, because sometimes, dreams can mean something. Like I remember this one story, where this guy was trying to think of something to help with shit, and he dreamed something that helped. I know, I’m just describing things with shit, I know. I’m just a little high right now, that’s all.

So, moving on. I kept staring at my ceiling, trying to make sense of this, but couldn’t figure it out. Now, strange thing is, that I also had these dreams back on earth, but it was more a blur to me, but ever sense I got here, I dream that I had of this grew stronger, as if the connection or single of this dream is pointing here.

Interesting. Something to think about for trying to figure out what the dram meant. Ok, so, I decided to put the thought aside, and looked at Wolf’s bed. I saw all the empty beer bottles and cocaine he had left.

I was really missing him, since we’ve been buddies for years. I mean, even Molestia was sad. She came to my room last night, looking to molest Wolf, when I told her that Wolf wasn’t here right now. Therefore, what did she did do, she molested me instead.

Son of a bitch.

I had to fill in for Wolf while he was gone. Now, only if I knew about the tiger, I could’ve told her that the tiger is the new Wolf. Maybe she would’ve done it. I mean, then again, maybe the pinkie pie from the.MOV series would’ve done it has well. I mean that pinkie pie did fuck a snail, gave big Mac a blowjob, and was drinking vodka and shit. Then again I drink like three to five tequila bottles a day.

Well, I looked down, and saw a piece of paper under Wolf’s covers. I took the piece of paper, and read it. Guess fucking what, it was a ransom note. Well, since this is like the hangover movie, at least we know where Wolf is.

Apparently, he’s with a mob boss called the black pony. Maybe he’s a black guy pony as well or in other words, a fucking Zebra. Perhaps, or maybe it’s Hitler. What a Twist!

Did that M. Night joke made you laugh? Yea, I know these jokes are starting to get old and all, but you have to admit, that M. Night is quite a strange Muslim for American movies and all.

Well, I quickly then got out of bed, and went straight outside. I was running towards Jack’s place, but I found them walking towards me. I then showed them the paper I found, and they didn’t know what to do.

Then Mac came up with an idea. He said he had known somepony that could help us with this ransom. We then followed Mac to a more shitty part of town of Stalia. It was a like a hood, but there was no black guy ponies around.

Yea, I’m cracking these black guy jokes almost frequently. Love’em or hate’em they’re here to stay.

Mac eventually led us to the place. It’s like that house from Project X, where it’s that gnome guy’s house. We knocked on the door, and we heard some yelling, then a scream. Then we saw blood flowing underneath our hooves. Then the door opened, and there was a stallion that looked like a doucebag.

Not doucebag doucebag like the doucebag that I know, but a regular doucebag. I am saying doucebag a lot aren’t I?

Well, he also didn’t shave, so it looked like he had an after shave or a rugged shave look. He also had a robe on, and offered us to come in.

He then told us to take a seat, and we saw the dead body. He said don’t mind the dead body, he told he’ll call the exterminator soon. Right, moving on.

He offered us some weed, which I gladly took, but what I got was shit weed. Litterly. It was weed that had been in shit.
Mother fucker.

We then asked him to help us look for the black pony, but he said he had to check his schedule. That was odd to me, because I didn’t know doucebags had a fucking schedule.

I have to study the species some more, like I did with the Asian midget back on earth. I also had a scientific name for it, but I’m not going t say it, because the punch line of the joke is just horrible. Ok, its asineria midgetria. I know, the joke isn’t that funny.

Although sometimes I work on it. Anyways while the pony that looked like a doucebag was checking his shit, Mac took his fucking gnome. Apparently, he told me that what we came for, which I just, I just give up with these guys.

Well, anyway, Mac told me to turn the gnome invisible with a spell, which I have no idea he knew I have an invisible spell.

How does he know, is beyond me. I mean, it’s in my spell book that I made, which is locked up. I don’t know, maybe he’s being a racist.

Now that I think about, maybe I’m the racist, because I’ve been making these jokes and shit. Then again, everybody is a little racist sometimes. Well, I then quickly did the spell, and as I did so, the pony came back. He said he was busy, and he had to go to the dojo at five.

Apparently, there’s Asians in My Little Pony. Therefore, I’m guessing there’s a country called Japony, like Japan. I know that joke wasn’t that great, but I’ll work on it. Speaking of Japony, never mind, you’ll see in the future of what I mean by this.

Therefore, we got out of his house, and we headed back to my place. we all sat down in the living room, and grabbed a beer for all of us, but for Mac, he busted the gnome open, and grabbed what appear to be that drug that was used in Project X.

I don’t remember what it’s called, but it was something that made you go crazy and shit. Therefore, yea, but he didn’t take any of it. It looks like he was planning something for it.

Well, we all took one beer, and we just sat there to drink. After that happened, I decided to check out Macs house, since he didn’t check it and all.

Therefore, as we got to his house, the mail guy was there, possibly giving out AIDS that he has in the envelopes. I never trusted that mail guy. He gave an envelope to Mac, which was a hospital bill.

We all looked at each other, and headed straight over there. I mean, it was a clue to what could’ve happened to us and all. We eventually got there, and found the doctor. His name was DR. Wings.

For some reason, I can’t but feel that could be a TV drama for middle age women who has a lonely life and are constantly annoying.

Well, he was with an old guy, and he told us to come in. He had locked the door, and I was afraid he was going to rape us. However, that wasn’t it. Apparently, he was talking to the old pony, and said he only had one day to live. Of course, the old geezer was shocked as fuck, and the doctor responded with, “I know. This is the toughest part of the job of being a doctor.”
He then grabbed a pillow, and smothered him until the old guy died. He kept saying don’t fight it and eventually said, “that’s right. Nice and easy. Nighty night mother fucker.”

Yea, this town was a little dark sometimes. Apparently, he had said the old stallion had given him AIDS somehow. That and he does that sometimes, but whatever. I mean, I litterly had given up on this town, so frankly, I don’t give a dam anymore.

Therefore, we then asked him about what had happened to us, and he said he had nothing to say, but we are some ponies that could party. Well, I mean, I usually party Project X style and sometimes with class, but that’s just me.

He did give us something to go by though, that Jack had gotten married to a bitch that had a Zebra disease called Zebrica. Apparently, it’s like AIDS for black guy ponies. Are these AIDS jokes working for you?

He also said Jack had a stepchild, which was at the hospital. He then given us the child and the name of the child was dinky. It was a colt, but apparently, the mother named a boy a girl’s name. I hate to see that bitch.

Well, we did. We had to get the kid to talk to where she lived, because for some reason, he was a little fucker. We eventually got to where the mother lived at, and it was in the hood again.

I was just afraid that the guy we stole the gnome from was going to come back and kill us for stealing his gnome, like that gnome guy from Project X.

The mother lived in a apartment place, and she was walking back and forth, but only because she was worried where the fuck we were at. In addition, I’m surprised she was still doing this, or that the child was kept at the hospital for three days, because the hangover happened three days ago.

In addition, the time was about when Celestia’s sun was setting.

When the bitch of a mom saw us, she quickly was relieved and relieved herself. I’m not going to go into extreme detail, but it reminds of those Molestia tumbler updates. It was, quite interesting. I’m also horrified by it and still have nightmares about it to this very day.

That and I also have plenty of other nightmares. Some are the Derpy moment if you recall and some are personal. We were invited in, and we talked.

The bitch talked and talked about how Jack and her will be so happy as a couple and how they will be so great as a family together and they will never will be divorce or have any problems. Well, as she was talking, I looked at Jacks face, and he looked horrified, as if he was about to die.

The bitch was at the sink, cleaning some dishes and shit. Why did I say this? Well, Jack got up quietly, without saying a word, walked over to the bitch, and shoved her head into the kitchen sink and ending up killing her.

Mac and I looked at Jack, and he said, “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t live with this bitch. I mean, I know I just killed somepony, and I might just end up in purgatory, although, along as you guys see me as a good pony in my lifetime, then I’ll be good. Also, don’t worry about the kid, I’ve got it covered.”

What he meant by the heaven thing, was that the rules of getting into heaven was a lot simpler then the Christianity religion. All you have to do to get into pony heaven was to be a good pony. That’s it.

Now, if you killed somepony, but were still seen as a good pony to others, then you’ll still be able to get into pony heaven.
Yea, trust me. It makes very little sense, but at least it’s a lot simpler to understand to get into heaven in this universe.

Other universes I remember, required to rape a donkey, while shoving balloons up your asshole, while juggling fireballs. I’m not kidding you. I’ve been to a universe that had that rule for getting into heaven.

In addition, what Jack did to the kid, well, he didn’t kill him for one thing, but if he did, he would’ve had serious blood on his hooves. I mean, even killing a child for me is going too far.

Well, unless they’re like one of those children, who are bad, to say like they killed somebody or just a mother fucker, whose like a stealer and shit. I mean, I recall a few instances when that happened back on earth.

What Jack did was put him in a box, sealed it up, with some air holes of course, and shipped it off to one of his cousins in Manehatten. I do wonder though, what did happen?


The child was still in the box he was shipped that was in the kitchen, and had very little food.

He then said, “Hello!? Can anypony hear me!? I haven’t eaten in three days! I have to go to the bathroom! I had to drink my pee and eat my own poop since I’ve been in this box!!”

Then, the cousin yelled, “Will you shut the fuck up!! Dam it!! I’m trying to get some sleep in here!! Why did my fucking ass of a fucking cousin have to send me his Retarded Stepchild!? That fucking basturd!”


I guess that kid is alright. Well, we then headed back to my place, but on our way there, we decided to go to Ponyville, and get help from Twilight. Just to let you know, by this time, Luna’s moon was already high in the sky.

Since I just wrote that, now I’m wondering if the moon was ever alive, and had a face, when it smoked weed, the moon would rise in the sky, while the sun gets mellow on some” Brownies” that has some drugs in it. Why am I thinking about this and writing it down. Then again, I do smoke weed a lot.

Whatever, so we were walking through the town of Ponyville, late at night. We were close to Twilights house, when suddenly, the gnome pony comes back.

However, he got our attention, from casting a spell, which by the way, he was a unicorn. Well, he casted a spell that was a flamethrower spell. Macs ass was on fucking fire, although, it was put sot somehow.

I don’t know what, but I’m guessing it was the universe and how the universe wants me to continue my destiny. What I mean by that is,when I ever say the universe is doing this, it’s somehow my destiny to be in this universe. I mean, think about it. I’m part of a set of elements shit. How does that not make you think I wasn’t supposed to be here in this universe. There was a reason why I was an Alicorn before.

Anyway, the pony said very loud, constantly, “Give me back my fucking Gnome!!!” reminds me of Project X, no?

We then ran away and tried to take cover. Also, while we were running I told Mac, “Why the fuck did you have to take his fucking Gnome!? Huh?! Why couldn’t you just do crack like Arrell?”

we eventually found a place opened, which was I believe to be the spa somehow. We quickly ran inside, and found photo finish. She was packing her camera away, when we ran up to her and asked for help.

She said sure, which we thought she would hide us and tell the gnome guy to go away and we’re not here. I don’t how it would work, but it was the best chance we had of surviving. Well, I was dead fucking wrong.

The next thing that happened, was photo finish’s skin peeled back unfolded. What revealed itself, was a xenomorphic from the Alien movie Franchise. I’m not fucking kidding.

It’s the alien from “Aliens” well, we were fucked, although Mac and Jack just look confused and had the ‘what the fuck’ look their faces. The alien soon had its second mouth, ready to pierce through our heads.

I was then next expecting that bitch from Aliens, where she would be in that robotic suit of hers, saying, “get away from them you bitch!” what? There was already an alien from aliens. Might as well just add more weird shit right now.

Well, it wasn’t the bitch from aliens, but was the gnome guy. All he said was again “Give me back my fucking gnome.”

The alien saw this, and went straight for him, well, the gnome guy pulled out a weapon that looked like it belonged in star trek, and fought to the death with the alien. While this was happening, we hid in the closet.

When we were in there, we found the dead body of Photo Finish. Jack looked at it, and picked it up. Apparently, he wanted to give a proper burial.

Not that he liked her, but these ponies had similar human emotions, where we have feeling for one another, when we’re hurt, we humans tend to help each other out. These ponies did the same, but did it more often than humans did.

Well, we then slowly opened the closet door, and we saw the alien still fighting with the other pony. We used this to our advantage, and escaped through a window. Well, not necessarily escape, but break the fucking window and run like hell.

We didn’t know what to do next, so we did the only most sensible thing. Go to Rarities’ house.

We knocked on the door, she yelled, questioning why someone would wake her up this late at night, and when she opened the door, she asked, “Is that Photo Finish’s body?” then she fainted, which we pulled her body inside her house and locked it.

We then sat down and tried to figure what to do next. Well, I did, while Mac and Jack just stared at the dead body. I just rolled my eyes, and did a come to life spell or regeneration spell you might put it.

It’s a spell that brings dead things back to life. As I said many times before, I write my own magic very easily. I just don’t use it, because I stick to the rules of death.

Well, Mac and Jack were shocked that I could do this type of spell, but I explained to them what I just recently explained to you people. We then all got up, put Rarity in her bed, so she’ll think what she saw was all a dream and shit.

Now, weird comment here, but I somehow wish Freddy kukaur was here, so she’ll defiantly knew it was a dream, then again, that could’ve been arranged. No really, it could. I can just quickly find a Nightmare on Elm Street universe and get Freddy to come over and make sure she’ll believe it’s a dream.

How would I do that? Well, I would pay him, but I’m just going off from Family guy here, so I guess I would force him too.

How? Well, haven’t you seen Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Dream Warriors? Where the kids fight back by fighting Freddy in their dreams.

Well, anyway, we headed back to my place to have another beer and shit. Also, we took photo’s body, and put it in the middle of Stalia’s streets. Yea, she wasn’t awake when I used the spell, because the thing us, with the spell, the dead thing will still be alive, but it knocks out whatever you casted the spell on.

So anyway, we headed back to my place, and when we got back, we heard a noise coming from somewhere. We looked all around and eventually found out it was coming from a trunk. When I found about this noise, I was shocked this place had a trunk. I mean, you just don’t use those anymore. Then again. This is like the renaissance and shit.

We opened it, hoping Wolf would be there, but unfortunately, it was a random pony who jumped on us and started to hit us with a blunt lead pipe. He eventually took all of us down and ran away.

By the way, later in time, we find that the pony that attacked our asses was a pony called poker. Well, this is MLP, so you can’t really complain can you.

We decided that we had enough of this shit, and went to the bar. Yea, the bar was an all night bar, but of course, the only ponies in there were drunks and ponies that wanted to commit suicide. That and pedophiles and rapists.

In fact, while I was there, I made friends with a rapist. We had good conversation, although, he tried to keep going to the conversation about raping. As for the pedophiles, they talked as if they had problems. Scary problems.

Therefore, I just shot them in the head, while the bar tender didn’t give a flaming fuck. Apparently he’s seen enough weird shit at night, he passes it as normal. We stayed there until dawn, which we were about to leave when poker came back with few of his stallions.

His stallions pinned us down with their magic, while poker told us he had Wolf. He told us we could have him, if we gave him the 80,000 bits we stole from him, which apparently, we stole from him the night we had the hangover.

Of course, you must be saying, ‘but didn’t the black pony had wolf?’ well, maybe he was the black pony, and maybe he was getting pissed off since we hadn’t exchanged the ransom. By the way, the ransom note said the we could have wolf back if we exchanged it for poker, which we didn’t even knew the pony who’d we stolen 80,000 bits from was poker.

We found that out later. His stallions then let us go and told us the time and place to be for the exchange. We then sat there, pondering in our heads of what to do. Jack said there was no way we could get eighty thousand bits within a limited amount of time.Besides, there was no way we could get eighty thousand bits in this area of Equestria.

Well, lucky for me, when I found the universes and all, I figured out a way to count cards and shit. Also, remember how good my teleportation spell is? In addition, for those Bronies out there, you recall a city in MLP called Las Pegasus.

Saying, we went to Las Pegasus, and I counted cards, got over eighty thousand bits, and left to exchange it for Wolf. The place that we had to go and meet was near the edge of the Everfree. Makes sense.

I mean, if drugs were illegal here and there were drug dealers, I’m guessing that how they would do their transactions. We then gave poker the money first and he gave us Wolf.

They uncovered the bag over Wolf’s head, which by the way, I know I’m leaving many details out, but he bagged Wolf’s head like in the hangover how that Asian guy bagged black Doug’s head. Well, it wasn’t Wolf, but black Wolf.

Of fucking course, just like in the Hangover. How could you tell this was black Wolf, he had a black guy voice. How did this timber wolf talk? Apparently, he was the only natural talking timber wolf, which was basically a one in a million chance of a mutation happening to the animals of the Everfree.

Of course, poker said in an Asian accent that of course he was Wolf, and then left us with black Wolf. We then took black Wolf along with us, since we did pay eighty thousand bits for him.

That and he was far from home, so I just thought I he could tag along and be the new Wolf until we got the old wolf back if Wolf was somehow to do, well, at least I could have a cheap sitcom about a white pony and a black wolf, going on crazy adventures. I could just imagine it. I can just think of the theme song right now.

He was a white pony.
He was a black wolf.
So one day, they met in a racist bar.
They joked around
And became best friends.
Now they are a white guy and black guy
Going on crazy adventures, diving through the deep blue
Going into space,
Smoking weed,
And drinking beer and getting drunk.
They are the white guy and black guy
The best of best friends.
And one of them is a white guy
And a black,
So this makes it special for the audience

Well, I didn’t say I was the best at writing lyrics. If you recall chapter 3, this is why I didn’t put down the lyrics for that song me and Wolf sang. Anyway, we were at my place, stumped. We didn’t know what to do, until Mac brought up that Neon knew who the black pony was.

Yes, apparently, Neon did some business with him before in his past. So, Jack and I both yelled at Mac, asking why didn’t he tell us this before. We then quickly headed to the hospital and dumped black Wolf along at Arrells house.

I also told Arrell, just to be sure, if we fail to find wolf, I’ll still have the white guy and black guy thing still going on. We quickly ran through the hospital, and went into Neon’s room.

Forest was the only one still there, while Arrell went to the bar. Forest woke up, and asked what the fuck we were doing. We ignored him, and I tried to wake Neon up.

Well, he woke up, but with anger. He grabbed my neck with his hoof, and looked straight dead into my eyes as if he was taking my soul. Funny thing is, since Neon broke laws of physics and shit, he did take ponies souls in the past.

He talked to me in a venom voice and threw me against the wall. He then told me to apologize to him, which I did, because I don’t think it’s a smart move to piss off a god like being. He then was satisfied, and went back to his weird ways, even though he just got out of a comma.

Jack then asked him if he could take us to the black pony’s lair, and he said yes. We were then teleported there, along with him. We were then luckily in the room Wolf was in, took him, and Neon teleported us back.

Of course, the black pony would get our ass for this, but that wouldn’t be till much later in the future. We then thanked Neon for helping us and he said we were welcomed and disappeared into a random pony’s house.

Apparently, the random pony saw him, and Neon just shut him up, and said, “shhhhhhhh. Not a word.”

That just creeps me the fuck out every time I think of it. In addition, if you’re wondering how Neon got his powers back, if you recall in the last chapter where his powers were taken away from him. Yea, I still don’t know how. It just came back at complete random.

Anyway, I brought Wolf back with me to my place, and Jack and Mac felt like celebrating with a few beers, so they were going to come over to my place after they go do something back at home. I brought Wolf back, and he asked me why the fuck was the tiger still there?

I then told him that he was the temporary Wolf till he got back. I also told him we were keeping him as a pet. He then agreed to it, and asked why another timber wolf was here. He had a good sense of smell. I then told him there was another talking timber wolf like him, but he was black.

Wolf then snickered at the thought of him being black. He was fucked up sometimes. In addition, I told Arrell he could let go of black Wolf, after he asked me where did a black talking wolf came from. In addition, I wondered what happened to Photo, because when we came back from getting Wolf, she wasn’t there anymore.

Earlier that day…….

Photo woke up with a little bit of a headache. She slowly got up, and looked at her surroundings, wondering where the fuck she was at.

She then saw somepony, and said, “Who are you!? You are perfect! You are my new star of my new lines of fashion! You will become my new star!”

she said all of that in a Nazi German voice. She was talking to one of the dead bodies that were lying around the town of Stalia.

Photo grabbed and picked up the dead body, and hugged it, saying how she has finally found what she had been looking for. She then raped the dead body as she does with all of her clients, and worked with the dead body.

The dead body is one of Equestrians’ most famous fashion star to this date and the town of Stalia has recognized one of its citizens for being famous, and now has a day dedicated to the dead body. The dead body is now currently on tour, showing off its latest fashion design.

Photo also got AIDS from the dead body after she had raped it, and still is doing fine with the AIDS, as all Germans do since all Germans have AIDS.


Sometimes I don’t try to think about what happened to her. Along as no one come questioning if I had to do something with her disappearance, it’s all fine. Besides, I always knew she was an alien from alien.

If you don’ t get what I’m saying , here’s the thing. If you recall the picture perfect pony song, I mean, who hasn’t at this point, right? Well, in the video, she said you will go to the stars, where no one can hear you scream. Now that’s the slogan for the first alien movie. Now that, just says it all for me.

In addition, to let you know, that during this adventure, Mac said we were like a pack of friends. A wolf pack. Yea, that had to come. I mean, this is ripping off from the Hangover a little but whatever.

In addition, if you’re wondering what the fuck happened to the alien and the gnome guy, they died by killing each other, but eventually comes back somehow. Well, anyway, Jack and Mac came over to celebrate and shit.

In addition, Jack brought along a photo album, since somehow it came in the mail not too long ago. Apparently, it’s the photos we took when we had our hangover. We all agreed we wouldn’t share the photos with anyone and never look at it again.

We all looked at it, and it was more fucked up then the photos then the Hangover movies. I would show it here, but I don’t have them. But trust me, they were messed up.

However, I guess I have to give you something Hangoverish, so I’ll just give you the music from the end credits’ of the song.

*note: that i put the ending song music there because i inmagined if this was actully animated, it would have those songs at the end, along with the pictures. also, the first video is only for the music, the picture, i just did that bideo for you guys, i you can choose which ending song you would want to be at the end of this chapter or episode. whatever you want to call it.*


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Chapter16: A Swarm of AIDS

Well, I’m sure you all enjoyed my tale of the hangover.

The thing is, this canon part of my story actually didn’t happen right after the hangover part. In fact, it happened after 3 days.

I believe the universe was giving me a break for once. Well, at least it wasn’t being a dick this time around, by the way, this time around, it returned to being a dick. So where shall I begin.

Well, Arrell was near the edge of the Everfree. Not to collect flowers for Celestia’s visit. No. he was there to breed the animals, because at a town meeting, the town voted for Arrell to breed his animals outside of the town’s limits.

I mean, he was breeding the animals in front of children, so Arrell was force to breed his animals outside of town. I mean, Arrell was pissed off by this, he threaten to kill everyone in town for this, but it didn’t happen.

In addition, I forgot to tell that Celestia was coming for a visit. Apparently, also Luna and Twilight as well. I had no fucking clue why they were coming. I mean, I don’t even believe it even said so why in the episode.

I mean, if it’s just to check up on me, then why didn’t they just send fucking Twilight. Then again, she does have a crush on me, although at the time, it was about when she discovered she had a crush on me, so I guess you could say it would be better to either send Luna or Celestia over I guess. I really don’t fucking know.

Well, like I said before, Arrell was breeding the animals, and were feeding them as well. I also think Arrell was planning on trolling the town for putting that law against him because he was making a awful lot of fucking animals with diabetes and AIDS.

Also, haven’t you notice by now, that my story of my life here so far has a lot of AIDS related shit going on. It’s either from the Zebras, or there’s a weird type of epidemic, where not that where you die from AIDS, but it’s used in a weird way.

When Arrell was just about done making his weapons, I mean animals breed correctly.

I swear to fucking god (this universe’s god) if PETA reads this, gets offended by the use of the animals, and sue me for it, or whatever those hippies do, and then I’ll just put them down.

Besides, according to Ruck Rucka Ali, hippies smell. That or PETA will make a fake game, where the animals that Arrell made would be trying to kill him.

Maybe they should try to kill Mac. I mean, if you recall on what I said back in Chapter 11, how back in Chapter 6 how Mac fucked up the animals and made them talk like from alien resurrection, which was a shitty fucking movie.

Yea, I mean, it’s been what, 9 Chapters since Chapter 6, and I’m still complaining about it. It just shows how much one little thing can fuck up and affect the entire future.

I mean, sometimes I have nightmares about those of fucking hybrid abominations.

Anyway, while Arrell was packing everything up, Arrell came across a Parsprite. Dam it pinkie pie. She knew how to lead them away, but not keep them from going to other places.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Knight, why not just have Neon (since he breaks the laws of fucking physics) or pinkie to get rid of them?”

And if that’s not what you’re thinking, and got lost in the story, where no shit seems to make any fucking sense at all, then you’re not alone. Trust me, even I get lost, and I’m the one who fucking experienced it.

Anyway, that answer to the question is, well, you’ll see why later.

Well, Arrell saw this creature, and thought it would be unique to add to his collection or slaves I guess, pick your guess. I mean, your guess is as good as mine is. Well, he fucking took it.

Therefore, I’m guessing the word of parasprite never got out enough, or maybe not to this town. Therefore, Arrell took a parasprite, and now we’re going to have a parasprite problem.

Ok, so remember how Celestia and her bitchs I guess you could call them, were coming over to Stalia? Well, if you recall in the episode, Twilight was worried and paranoid as Stalin was.

What? I can’t make a history joke? At least a Russian joke? Then again, I did made one.

It just means that all bears comes from Russia and that what the bears are like. They just don’t invade the cities, that’s all.
Anyway, I wasn’t paranoid. In fact, I didn’t give a flaming fucking dam fuck. In fact, I was passed out, while Wolf was laughing his ass off at nothing, because he was high.

We even had slow ride playing the background. Of course, I have a magic spell for that.

It’s like an app. Like, need a hitman? There’s an app for that. Need to grab the nearest illegal Mexican and force him to work for you? there’s an app for that. Need a Jew? There’s an app for that. You get the fucking point.

And to tell you spell name, it’s called the weed music spell.

In addition, Wolf got a letter from Celestia. It was just a reminder letter, saying how she was going to come and shit.

Well, of course, I never open Celestia’s letters, for the most part. Besides, I was passed out, from trying to break my own drinking record again. I was shooting for 11 tequilas this time around.

I mean, I was hanging upside down from the couch, with sunglasses that wasn’t straight, with a joint in my hoof, while strangely, my hat was still on.

Anyways, Wolf got the letter, opened it, laughed at it, put weed in it, rolled it up, and smoked it. Now I know that Wolf.

Always doing crazy shit like that.

Then the doorbell rang, but of course, I was still passed out, so Wolf got the door. It was Arrell, who was dropping something off that I asked him to get me.

It was a lighter. Wolf and I had something planned for Celestia. Here’s the thing. We were planning to put dead bodies in three cannons, and shoot them at her, for being a trollestia and shit.

I don’t give a flaming fuck if the universe makes it disappear. I want to at least try to do it. Why dead bodies you may ask?

Well, all the dead bodies were made when I first came over here. trust me, even though you’re aware of that there was only a few moments where there was a dead body, but trust me, there was a lot more you guys are unaware of.

Of course, I was going to lay the dead bodies all over town as well. I even paid some pony to bring out the canons and shit when Celestia gets here.

We just needed a lighter to set off the canons. In addition, I should correct myself, before stupid people think and comment on the story on something that I fucked up on this part.

It wasn’t a lighter, it was a matchstick. Sure, I know I have a light when I smoke my weed, but that’s my lighter, and not for pranking Trollestia and shit. Anyways, when Wolf went to get the matchsticks, Wolf was still laughing his ass off.

Even Arrell asked why he was laughing, but Wolf told him that I was with a spirit of peace. In other words, hippie talk.

of course, Arrell did any other sane person would do, which was back up slowly, and pretend he didn’t see or hear what he saw or heard.

After a few minutes passed, I soon was no longer passed out.

I mean, my brain hurt, but I was still ok. I went to the bathroom, looked at myself, and I looked like a doucebag as always.

As I was taking a piss, I was teleported outside to the park, where every pony else was cleaning up for Celestias arrival. I was taking a fucking piss, and then teleported. The thing is that no one saw me in that awkward position I was in when I ever take a piss. Not a single fucking soul. In addition, my pee was gone. I didn’t have to go anymore, so basically saying, the universe did that to me.

Therefore, I guess the universe figured out that since I was planning to troll Trollestia, it was going to troll me. Well played universe. Well played.

I then said fuck it and decided on checking out the decorations. I walked through the park and saw ok shit. I mean, it wasn’t good shit, nor wasn’t it bad shit, but ok shit. Just like the good kind of rape and the bad kind of rape. Confused? Me too.

Let’s move on.

I also saw the banner that was being was being raised, which read welcome Celest instead of Celestia. Of course, I told the two ponies that they got it all worng, and it should be Trollestia.

However, they heard the complete opposite of what I said, and they heard me say, “You could try by redoing it and making sure the letters fit on the banner.”

Well, the universe is extra pissy that day or was it? In addition, I noticed what the banner was written in, and it was fucking crayon. Why that? That’s for fucking kids. This is for the ruler of Equestria, Celestia. Pardon my launguge and me. I completely forgot. Trollestia.

Also, will ever let the Trollestia thing go. Eventually later on, I will. I then went to the party shop and to check on Neon. Ok, I was only checking to make sure he didn’t fucking poisoning anything.

I mean, even though you can tell, I’m not a fan of Celestia and shit, I still care for her though. I mean, I don’t want her dead.
If I wanted her dead, I would’ve done it already. I mean, remember, the god like being here.

Well, thankfully Neon wasn’t poisoning any shit, but he was teleporting the cakes and treats to somewhere else. Well, to that one place Neon went after I had that hangover adventure.

Also, I really havn’t heard from that guy Neon went to from last Chapter. Last thing that I heard, some pony heard screams from his room, but the screams stopped.

I’m starting to get scared now by Neon. Are you scared of Neon? If so, I guess you could use it as a ghost story. I wasn’t sure what Neon was doing with those cakes with that dead guy, although, at least I think he’s dead, but I don’t want to know.

In addition, Neon didn’t just teleported the cakes to that dead guy, but also to Jack’s cousin, who has the orphan child.

“Dam it! Son of a fucking Bitch! First Jack sends me his Fucking slave child to me! Now I have fucking cakes and shit all over my fucking dam floor that piece of mother fucking crap son of a bitch!” said the angry cousin.

The child saw the delectable treats from his box and grabbed one before the cousin chopped off his hoof for taking shit that wasn’t in the box.

Soon, the child got diarrhea and Malaria.

I somehow feel somewhat bad for that child. Then again, why should I since I don’t know what the fuck happened to him and if he’s alive or not.

Soon, Arrell came in, and said he had something to ask us.

He wanted to know if bees could fuck the strange species of bugs that he found. Apparently, Arrell wanted to make round bees or something.

When I saw what he had, I then had a shocked face. I then walked up to him and grabbed one of those little fuckers and teleported to Ponyville.

I went to Twilights door and knocked, but no one answered.

I then walked around for a few minutes and eventually found her talking with her girls. For some odd reason, I just find that wrong to say. I just do. I mean, think about for a minute.

Anyway, she asked me why I was there in Ponyville, and not getting ready for her coming. That also sounded wrong in a way, but for some reason, I feel proud of it.

I then showed her the parasprite and asked her, “How the fuck did these little fuckers get out of the Everfree?” surprisingly this time, she heard me fucking curse, although, there was that one time she did, but she rolled her eyes at me, if you recall from one of the chapters.

Anyway, the elements were in fucking shock that a parasprite has came back, although I told them it was only in Stalia and they were relived.

Those mother fucking bitchs.

After all, of the shit I did… no wait. I didn’t do jackshit for them. Well played universe. Well played.

Therefore, Twilight just told me to take Pinkie Pie down there to get rid of them. Pinkie agreed to do so, but she would have to do something first, so it would be later in the day.

Until then, I would have to keep these little bastards at home until Pinkie could get here. Now that I mention bastards, looking back at the parasprites remind me of Adult swims game, my little bastard. Maybe adult swim made the parasprites.

I mean, if you recall that one time, when they made that bump for Bronies, it said how they are creped out and shit about Bronies. Maybe they were up to this. Which, by the way, I actually thought this at the time and went to do a little investigation.

Well, I went home and Wolf saw this and was shocked. I mean, he had seen the episode, which by the way, he has seen all the episodes, well, at least until season 3. I didn’t get a chance to show him season 4, but whatever.

Well, I told him I was going to do an experiment on these little bastards. I was always curious of what these things were made out of anyway.

Therefore, I went down to my secret basement, and did some research. What I found out was that it has some relations to a fly, and some manmade genetics and a little bit from a bee. Now there was one more thing it was made up of.

It was fucking AIDS. Maybe Arrell was right when he made that excuse when the dragon came that one time. In others words, these are flying AIDS, and soon, there was going to be a swarm of AIDS.

In addition, while I was doing this, Arrell gave one to everyone of my fucking friends.

He gave one to Neon, although I wasn’t too worried about that, because in the end, Neon set those paraisprites on fire and took it to the place where I believe was the dead body was at.

He had given one to Jack and Forest. Forest was putting on a suit for when Celestia came, while Jack was making it. In addition, just to make sure and clear any information up, that Jack is not gay. I mean, I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that when someone reads this, they are going to think that Jack was gay, although even though he never showed any of the signs, but just because he works with fashion.

I’m just afraid someone is going to think that, just because he makes suits and shit. Well, he’s not gay. Moving on.

As for Mac, he didn’t want any, but only because he had thought that they carried AIDS and didn’t want to touch it. Well, for one thing, he was right about the AIDS.

However, they don’t spread the AIDS, unless for some odd reason some pony tries to fuck it. Which, by the way, some pony did. Well, not a pony, but an old woman did it.

Now she has AIDS, but she already had AIDS when she had fucked bees.

In addition, this was the same old woman from chapter 12, and if you recall, she loved pain and had a dark side with it.

Therefore, after I did my research, I told TK to figure out what the human quality DNA that was made part of the little creature. I mean, I’m starting to think it was Adult Swim now.

Well, I decided to go to sleep, although, bad move on my part, because when I woke up, there were about an army of those little fuckers.

They were taking shit and doing shit. It was insane. Also, what happened to fucking Pinkie Pie!? She didn’t even fucking come. That fucking bitch. Although, she didn’t pinkie promise, so I guess that’s an excuse.

Well, good news, pinkie came that morning with her band shit, and started to play to get rid of mines first. Well, unfortunately, the things didn’t follow her. Even Pinkie was confused.

Well, she said she was sorry, and went to get Twilight, although, she never came back. Who knows? Maybe since she breaks the laws of physics and all, maybe she went into another universe, came back, and forgot what she wanted to do.

Apparently, these things adopt quickly. They were like predators, which actually gave me an idea, although, I sent Wolf to do it, and gave him plenty of guns and ammo since it would be dangerous, but I casted spells on him before and he shouldn’t get hurt. I then tracked down a predator universe, opened it, and Wolf then jumped through it. I then went back to MLP and went to visit the other guys.

In addition, by the way, there was some missing food in the fridge. Apparently, Wolf fed them after midnight. That fucking dumbass. Didn’t he know about gremlins. I mean, I even showed him the movie. Know what?

From now on, I am going to call these things either AIDS or gremlins.

Well, I went to check on the others and see how they were doing with their gremlins. Forest was sleeping in his cloud castle or whatever the fuck it was.

Speaking of cloud shit. I always wondered what the fuck Rainbows house looked like. I mean, we do get a few glimpses of it like two or three times, but that’s it, other then what it looks like on the outside of course.

Well, Forest wasn’t sleeping in his bed, but on his cloud couch, since he had cloud beers.

Yes, you read right, cloud beers. From what I’ve heard, only Alicorns and pegasi can drink it. I mean, I had one, and of fucking course, you’re must be wondering how did I do it.

Well, that answer will come later in the future. Anyway, Forest woke up on his couch and saw the AIDS had multiplied. He then ran outside his house and went to find a solution, I think.

Well, I went to Jack’s first and Jack was standing outside of his house. I also saw fire inside. From what Jack has told me, when he woke up, his shit or his work was on fire.

Yes. Apparently, the gremlins lit his shit on fire. Well, now we have two Macs. Besides. I was relieved a little, because I thought he had burned it down for the insurance money. Then again, insurance for fire didn’t exist here. Well, with Neon, as I said before, he went with to what I believe with the dead body he had hiding in the building.

I’m really starting to get scared of Neon now. I mean, he’s like a creepy pasta pony or something. Creeps me the fuck out.

Well, after I had that thought in my head. Yea, I actually didn’t know, but Neon did hint and mentioned it a few times.

Anyways, jack, Forest, and I went to check up on Arrell. When we saw the door open to his house, we took a look in.

what we saw was what the fuck man. We saw all the animals that Arrell owned was humping and fucking the gremlins. In addition, where was Arrell?

He was sitting down in his chair, had his hoof on his chin, as in a thinking position, while have a poker face expression. He then said to us, “I believe I may have figured out why my animals are always fucking. It’s their hormones.”

That actually made a lot of sense. I mean, don’t you remember when you were a teenager; you always had the feel to fuck or hump something. So yea. Those animals were teenagers.

What came next was Mac riding in with some apples. He said, “Ok Arrell. I’ve got those apples you asked for. Since I’m pretty sure these are for those little buggers there and not for you or your animals since you never ask for them. I’ve got them from my cousin Applejack’s farm; since her apples taste like crap and mine is much better then hers.”

Mac has many problems with his cousin Applejack. Maybe I also need an intervention with him one day. Now only if I could do one for Neon. Yea, the intervention didn’t happen yet. Although, at the next town hall meeting, I was going to try to have a petition that Neon has an intervention.

Well, the gremlins then ate all the apples up quickly as shit. Don’t know what I said there, but ok then. Well, then Mac decided to round them up and put them in the Everfree.

Therefore, we collected them all.

In addition, when I mean by collecting them, I mean lighting them on fire and bury them in the Everfree. In addition, that’s what we did.

We lit those fuckers on fire as if it was the 4th of the July. We then collected all the burned dead bodies, buried them in the Everfree forest, and went to clean up the mess that they had made.

Well, after an hour of cleaning up or so, they came back. They came back from the fucking dead. Like I said. They adapt quickly. Shit fuck.

Therefore, what happened next, we were going to up and leave the town, and leave everyone behind in the town. Yea, my friends and I were assholes.

Well, we were going to do that, but unfortunately, the universe had something planned for me. I randomly did a spell, which turned the gremlins into pony killers.

Ok now. Apparently, the universe really wants me to die then. Well two can play at that game.

Although, it would take a while for me to figure something out for the universe. Moving on.

After I casted the spell, Forest looked at me, and said, “Oh look. You just fucked Equestria. Thanks Knight. Thanks.”

I wanted to tell him it was the universe making me to it, but of course, he wouldn’t believe me. Maybe Neon would, which I actually did.

As a response, I got “the universe only hates you, because you hate It.” he was kind of right. Maybe he isn’t a psychopath. Maybe he a philosopher psychopath.

Well, what happened next was, well, I went almost insane. I had a crazy look on my face and the Princesses were coming.

I then said aloud, which by the fucking way, the universe made me say it, that I said, “Ok. Here’s the plan. Half of the town will distract the gremlins, while the other half builds in exact replica of the town, so Celesita will not notice anything that shit has gone wrong.”

Yea, I was crazy.

I was crazy for trying to redo that one part from that one western movie, where the town was preparing for an attack on the town, where they build an exact cheap replica of it, which the towns wins the battle.

They then randomly celebrate, but then start hitting each other, and ending up crashing into a movie set where there, was gay people singing and dancing in a very weird and odd way.

I have no fucking clue what the movie is called, but that’s what will happen if we do that idea. Actually, note to self, look for alternate universe where that happen and see how it will play out.

Now, then out of nowhere, predators come to attack the gremlins. Also, Wolf came back. He was a little scratched up, but was good. All he needed was some weed and beer, and he would be all set and good to go.

The predators were slaughtering those gremlins, and the gremlins starting flying back to the Everfree. They also went into a formed line like in the episode.

In addition, while that was happening, the Princesses arrived on their chariots. All of my friends went to see their arrival, and Princess Celestia stepped down, but the others did not.

In addition, Twilight had a bit of a worried look on her face, but I guess it was that she was worried that I didn’t fix the problem with the gremlins.

In addition, Celestia then said to me, “Knight! My star pupil!”

I just found that odd, because wasn’t Twilight her star pupil and shit. Then again, she is the ruler so I guess she could have many pupils as she fucking wanted. Fuck. Maybe enough to have a fivesome or a twentyonesome.

Actually, that would just be a big ol’ orgy. Whatever, moving on.

After she said that, the gremlins were walking by, and Celestia had that weird eye movement I always see whenever she is in an episode.

While she was looking at those gremlins, I said, “So, how was the trip? Catched any traffic?”

That was the stupidest fucking thing I have ever said. I mean, there’s fucking nothing in the sky at all, but apparently, the universe thinks different.

Why the fuck would you get any traffic in the sky, other then pegisi and birds. That’s it, and they will either get out of the way or you smash into them. Simple as that.

Then Celestia said, “What is this. I see you and the town of Stalia has thrown a parade in my honor of my visit, just like Twilight did.” and I went like, “yea, sure. We threw you a parade.”

I also saw the guy I paid to dump the dead bodies on Celestia, and I told him in a loud whisper, “Hide the dead bodies. Hide the dead bodies!”

Celestia then said she was treeiably honored. I’m not making that up. She even said that in the episode. I don’t understand. Maybe it’s an Alicorn thing. I will never understand Celestia. She used to be cool, but know I think she’s mentally unstable.

Well, she then told my friends and me that they had to go, because they had an infestation problem in Las Pegasus. Yea, apparently, some predators escaped and went to Las Pegasus. Yea, there were many dead ponies.

Therefore, they went up and left to take care of the problem. By the way, the predators left Las Pegasus before the princesses arrived, and they went somewhere deep in a jungle to live happily ever after.

Well, for a while until I found them again, this is another story for another time. so, when the princesses left, I was happy, although, I wouldn’t get my money back since I paid that one guy to dump the dead bodies all over Celestia and all, but I had a smile, since I knew this was finally over.

While I was smiling, ponies were running ramped through the streets, because there was still a predator problem.

Well, fortunately, TK was here to give me something about the Adult Swim people, which he then pushed back and knocked out all the predators and put them in the Everfree to be eaten by the timber wolves.

In addition, after TK did this, TK told me that the gremlins were made and were brought back by the Adult Swim group. I’m not even fucking kidding.

The Adult Swim group was in this universe. How are these humans coming here!? Is there like a rip through time and space or did Neon break the laws of physics, and brought the humans through it, or the humans saw the portal and shit, I don’t know anymore, all right?

Well, when TK said that the gremlin thing was Adult Swim’s fault, three people who are basically who run Adult Swim, came up from behind the bushes, and by the way, these are guys are in pony form, which is following of the universal rules and all.

They got up and said, “Dam it Dam it Dam it. Ponies have ruined our plans. We were going to kill these ponies, show them to the Bronies, and make them all lose hope in the show and they will stop being pony lover mother fuckers. We will have our revenge one day! You’ll regret it!” and they said all of that while running away into the equestrian desert, which they would be possibly be killed by diamond dogs.

Well, after that, everything went back to the way it was, well, for at least 12 hours.

Episode 17: Neon is Normal

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Chapter17: Neon IS Normal

Ok, so I was still in bed, and didn’t wake up till around like almost lunch time or whatever. I was tired from yesterday’s events and I really didn’t feel like getting up.

I mean, I didn’t even want to go outside and do something that the universe wanted me to do. I mean, sure, the universe could just teleport me outside and do whatever, but that day, I really was going to put up a fight.

So, when I woke up, Wolf was sleeping in his bed,along with Molestia at his side. By the way, those two have been really getting at it at the time. I mean, they have been doing nonstop fucking almost every night.

I mean, Molestia will sometimes do me when I’m sleeping, which she is the sleeping fucker I guess, and sometimes when I’m awake.

Well, I looked at them, and they were sleeping and shit. In addition, if you’re wondering how does a big ass Alicorn fits in Wolf’s bed, well, they were on the floor fucking, so, technically, its Wolf’s bed, which is the floor.

In addition, he was fucking Princess Molestia in it.

Also, as for the fluids that come out of Molestia and all. Wolf cleans it up. Moreover, if you think Wolf cleans it with his mouth and he puts it inside him, then you are the sickest fuck that I know, and really are thinking too deep into this.

He manually cleans it up with a towel. If you thought that, then why? I mean, Wolf knows it’s disgusting at the same time to put inside his mouth. Whatever you sick fuck. I’m not the one thinking those thoughts. Did I just blow your mind there or what?

Well, anyway, Molestia got up, used her magic to carry Wolf back to her chambers, where they will continue to fuck, since I was awoken, that and the tiger was still asleep, and didn’t want to hear all the moaning coming from them while they were doing it. Yea, I still had the tiger.

Anyway, she got up, and thanked for last night. Yes, apparently, the sleeping fucker strikes again at me that night, while doing it, although, she sort of drugged me and I was half awake while she did me.

Oh well. This is pretty much my daily routine now, ever since I got to Stalia and all.

Well, Molesta let herself out, and I kind of laid there for a while thinking about that Lauren Faust dream that I had again.

Yes, I had it once again. I even recall in the dream, I was myself, with the usual little bit dark blue. Yea, I never specified my color coat.

Pardon me, but let me explain. My coat color is like Luna’s except lighter, but it’s a dark blue color.

In addition, to give you a better description of my friends, Neon looks like wooden Toaster’s OC, but with some differences, and Forest’s mane I fucked up on.

It isn’t black, but of a fire-ish color mane or a color to be specific that would go with his fire like coat. Got a better description now?

Anyways, as I was saying, I was in the kingdom, with Lauren Faust’s OC pony. She looked happy and smiled at me, and said something in a motherly tone, which would make since, since she is like the creator of Celestia and she has a motherly tone.

So it’s like Celestia inherited that or something. I don’t know. I am just confusing you more then what I should.

However, I couldn’t make out the words, because they weren’t clear to me, however, for some reason, I was shaking my head, as if I was understanding it.

In addition, I was in a stone room, with a like a light bluish portal or something. I don’t know, it’s like a hidden chamber or something.

Of course, have I told this to Wolf yet? The answer is no, because something tells me not to, and I just try to push that thought aside of the dream that I had, so I can move on with life.

However, at the time, I couldn’t shake the feeling off from the dream that I had…. I had something to do with it. I mean, at the time, it was as if it was my weakness.

Sometimes I couldn’t even get to sleep because of it. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m connected to it somehow. As if, I was meant to be here.

As in, I was supposed to go to this universe. Although, I’ve kind of figured that out, ever since the universe keeps trying to FUCKING TROLL ME AND MAKE ME DO SHIT!!! Sorry, I just had to let out some steam. Moving on.

As for the dream, that can be discussed father as we move along the story in the future. However, I still couldn’t shake the weird feeling off me.

Anyhow, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and did my mane and shit. What? My mane can sometimes look like a doucebag and shit, whenever I wake up in the morning.

I mean, it’s not long or anything, but I don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag in public. Besides, I’m pretty fucking sure whenever you go out in public, you don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag.

Anyways, I went downstairs to smoke some weed. I actually made a hybrid weed. I took all the kinds of weed, and made it into one.

It’s really hard to do so, so I saved it for special moment. So that day, I felt like doing one. I was about to light one of the special weed, but I got a knock on my door. I grunted and went to the door and opened it.

To my surprise, it was Neon. He had a nervous look on his face. I mean the only other time I recall something like that was when we had that Zebra Problem.

What was her name again? Don’t remember. That’s why I call her black guy pony, so just in case I can’t remember her real name, I can name her by a fake one that I gave her.

Therefore, when I opened the door, Neon pounced on me and said he needed my help. Of course, I pushed him off, and said to fuck off. He kept saying that I didn’t understand.

Oh no, I perfectly understand. He just wants to harvest my organs in his little hidden basement in the party shop. Well, I will not be fooled by a…. whatever he is.

However, he kept saying that he had lost his ability to break laws of physics. Therefore, he is self aware of it. That means it’s only a matter of time before the universe explodes, because that’s what it seems to me that way.

I mean, Neon is random, so that just makes perfect sense to me.

He kept on begging me, to which it got to a point where I agreed to do so, which he had a smile on his face. I then asked him what we had to do.

Neon then said, “If I need to get my powers back. There’s only one place that I would know where that would be at. On Planet Random!”

You read right. Planet fucking random. So he’s like an alien, although, he isn’t, which I’ll explain later about that. At least I knew where he had his powers from, so that means if I could destroy the source of it, it would no longer give him the power. Whatever, just thinking at random there.

Anyway, I then said no, because I actually believe on that one. Well, if you ever spend a week with Neon, you will believe everything that he says. He then told me we had to, since there was a predator attack.

Oh, right, forgot to mention. Remember those predators from the last chapter, well, not all were dead. In fact, the ones that have survived adapted to TK’s fighting skills, so they can no longer be killed by him.

In other words, Equestria was fucked.

In fact, Neon showed me through a window, and I saw ponies running away from the predators. In fact, it was really bloody out there. Blood and guts everywhere and flying everywhere as well.

I then decided to go with Neon, but only to fix the problem. I then asked him how we get to planet Random, and he said to Twilights library.

We then ran outside, and as we were doing so, we were dogging predator’s attacks. I mean, it’s like the Asians from Vietnam.

I mean, they were coming out of the trees man. They were coming from the bushes man. Now I’m talking like a Vietnam soldiers man. Note to self, stop smoking weed from Vietnam soldiers.

Moving on, we eventually got out of Stalia and went through the Everfree, which took us almost all day to get through. I mean, since I was like the king of the Everfree, no animals harmed us, but it was still a long ass way that we walked.

We eventually reached Ponyville and the sun was setting and by now, word has gotten out that the predators attacking Stalia and is advancing to other areas.

I then went to Twilights door, I knocked, she opened, and Neon let himself in. what an impolite guest. He then started to throw books off the shelves and knocking on the wood.

Twilight opened her mouth and was about to ask, but I said to her to shut the fuck up, “I’m more confused then you are right now.”

She then nodded her head, and eventually Neon found a hollow spot in the shelves walls, and punched through it and grabbed a book out from it.

First off, there was already a hidden book in the tree house, if you recall from one of the episodes. You just wonder whom the fuck built the place.

Also, dam. Neon is one fucking strong ass pony. He is just a fucking badass and shit.

Neon flipped through some pages from the book, and eventually found what he was looking for. He then sat the book down, and started to read in what sounded like Muslim and Asian language put together, as if some kind of hybrid.

I always knew he was Osama bin pony. He’s a traitor to the rebel alliance and why am I trying to quote star wars? That was fucking ridicules.

Well, eventually Neon was finished and a big ass-fucking portal opened up in the room, while a bunch of chickens popped out of it. That or you can call the chicken’s scootaloos, since she was a chicken and shit.

They were pecking at the wood like woody wood pecker, except not high on cocaine like he was. I wonder why woddy never went to rehab for his addiction, because he seems to be high on crack in the cartoons. Don’t you agree?

Neon then told me to get through the portal, or klatu bitch will get me in my sleep. That is what he latterly said. You can just tell this is going to be a random chapter with random things in it.

I then went through it, since I was scared of what Neon said. I wasn’t afraid of what actually was going to happen, but Neon’s words just made me jump through the portal.

I blacked out when I went through, and of course, I dreamed of that Lauren Faust OC pony again.

I mean, when I first got to Equestria, it didn’t happen at first. However, for some reason, the longer I stayed there, the longer the more frequent the dreams were. They were starting to become one of my many weaknesses. Yea, a god like being that has weaknesses.

Well, at least I don’t only have one weakness, like that fucking bitch superman. What? You want to fucking complain and start a flame war?

Well, come on man, let’s bring it on then?! Bring it on bitch. I ain’t fucking afraid of you! Come at me Bro! Come at me! I’ll rip your spine out! Sorry for that, but you just don’t want to get into a flame war with me.

Then again, this is in a book, so technically, it wouldn’t be a flame war, and possibly when a human being finds this book where ever I fucking decide to put it at, you people will possibly won’t even find me to start the fucking flame war. So fuck you.

Therefore, what happened this time I was on clouds, and of course, the OC pony was there but along with Celestia and Luna, but they were fillies. As if, they were kids and growing up.

What the fuck does that mean you might ask? As I said, you just have to wait for the answer.

I mean, eventually, those dreams were going to prevent me from sleeping, because I just couldn’t sleep, with that weird feeling on me.

It’s like tony stark in Iron Man 3, how he couldn’t sleep because ever since New York and shit. I couldn’t sleep because of those dreams. And when I do sleep, it’s always that. They eventually stopped, but it only stopped when something that I discovered.

I soon woke up, with Neon staring in my face. He said he was trying to wake me up for 11 years. Of course, we were on planet random, which random shit happens all the time.

When I got up, I saw where we were, and it looked like a hybrid between earth and all creations that were from movies or shows or whatever the fuck that you do.

I mean, there was Lego people walking down the streets, while the dog from blues clues was doing its cousin. While Bob the builder just started hitting on weird chicks, while the wiggles were running away from Twinkies since they were pedophiles. This place was fucked up.

In addition, the sky was red or as if the apocalypse has arrived, the four horsemen of the apocalypse were there. Speaking of the horsemen. They were there!

However, there weren’t spreading terror, but shooting rainbows out of the horses asshole. Neon explained to me that was the daily rainbow that happens whenever a dog fucks a horse.

In addition, another thing to note is that the cities were pretty advanced then the human way of life or life back on Earth in other words. It was pretty high-tech. maybe we weren’t random, like these people were.

Anyway, Neon told me to follow him. I asked where, and he said to his parent’s house. Ok, so here is the thing. Neon was from the MLP universe.

However, when he was little or a child or a colt I should say, he was given god like powers and was then trained by Liam Nession, just like Batman and Darth Vader. However, it required him to leave Equestria, so he took his family along, and they have been living there ever since.

After a while, when Neon was about 18 years of age, he wanted to get back to his roots, and went back to Equestria to live out his days as a pony. Well, at least you get an origin story for Neon, right?

Well, we were walking or trotting to his old neighborhood, and as we were walking along, I saw some humans.

I asked what were those, just to make sure he wasn’t suspicious of me. He then said they were humans and they came from the planet Earth, which was not random as planet random.

Therefore, apparently, Neon has been to Earth, and knows everything about it. He says the human race will eventually fall and be extinct and what not and were not good to be with. Although, apparently on this planet of randomness was good to be with.

Well, when we got to Neon’s house, I saw three kids from the PJ’s playing jump rope with an electrical wire, while fucking a dog that was killing the pope in the pope mobile. Not making that up.

Neon then knocked on the door. Excuse me, he banged his head against the door, until there was a hole through it, and his father opened it up, and was a stereotypical father from the 50’s, while the mom looked like an ok mother.

One of Neon’s sisters was a crack head, while his brother was also normal like. Neon also has a little brother, which wanted to kill me and everyone around him. Basically, a psychopathic Emo.

I mean, I talked to the little kid, saying, “well, aren’t you a cute little fucker.”

His response, “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill all my brothers and sisters and mother and father. I will then destroy this planet, and then cut myself, while gang banging the prince of Egypt (the movie and the real one) while feeding a polar bear dog food. Then cry in a corner.”

Yea, that is what happens when you encounter an Emo. They just end up killing you at one point in your life. But at least you get into heaven that way, where the Nazis are at. Surprised? I am sure I’m more surprised then you are.

I mean, I can out surprise you and every possible way.

well, Neon’s mother offered me the guest bed in Neon’s bedroom, but I was afraid to say yes, because I’m pretty sure Neon was going to harvest my organs or kill me or do some weird fucking shit while I’m asleep.

Then again, he doesn’t have his powers, so it was until he got them back. Although, I was still afraid of him, because I can just feel like powers or not, he still looks into my souls with his eyes and preys on my innocence.

Now I have shivers down my back as I’m writing this down. Are you getting shivers right now? Moving on.

Therefore, I then said I had to use the bathroom, and Neon’s mother pointed me in the direction. In other words, she gave me a fucking map.

Although, it was simple, as in German language. She then gave me the map and lit the map on fire. This place certainly is random. Neon really does belong here and should stay here and never come back.

I mean, that way, other ponies can live and won’t be killed by him. Although, I’ll admit, I would miss him and his randomness shit fucks of feats that he does. Don’t know what I just said there, but I went to the bathroom, and everything seemed to be quite normal.

No unusual object out of place, although, surprisingly, Mr. Hanky was there and he humped and jumped from the toilet and said “howdy oh” and got the fuck out. That actually put a smile on my face, since its Mr. Hanky from south park.

He even gave me a little present, which was shit. Yea, I lit Mr. Hanky on fire for that present, and left him on a dogs doorstep. Yea, dogs doorstep. Don’t ask.

So, while I was in the bathroom, I was thinking of “No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria again,” and remembered the part of when TD trolled the D.O.R.K.S.

I remembered the part mostly about the Nixon one. Well, I decided to do something random, since I was on planet random and might as well try to fit in, because I was afraid that if I didn’t, these uh…. creatures on the planet would kill me for being a non-believer.

Well, I did exactly what the fan fic chapter said, which was to say Ronald Regan in the mirror five times and flush the toilet.

After I did that, I laughed my ass off, thinking how ridiculous that It was. Then, a Richard Nixon head slowly rose from the toilet and it talked.

It said, “I am Richard Nixon. Thank you for freeing me from the Muslims Russian Jews. They were fucking my head with a stick up a rods asshole. I am now your personal pet and will serve you till the end of time or will fuck you in your sleep and pee and your face, then explode at random.”

I then had a shocked horrid face look. I then said, “Well, at least it’s nothing like that biggie smalls joke myth from South Park.”

In addition, right when I said it, biggie smalls appeared with a gun to my head.

Then Neon busted in through the door, by using his crack head sister, who had a Sony walkman, listening to slow ride and strawberry fields forever, and busted her skull open, and was left there for dead, and Neon said, “hey man. Just checking up on you and….”

He then gasped and said, “you have a personal Nixon pet too!? Oh, my mother fucking spaghetti sweet baby black Jesus god this is fucking awesome. I have one too!! But it’s a Black Nixon.”

Then the black Nixon appeared right beside him, as if it came from another dimension.

He then said the N word to me, and for good reasons, I will never say that or write that word, because it’s quite fucking obvious why. In fact, pretend I didn’t put the N word there.

However, he said what’s up my N word, and put a gun to biggi smalls head and shot him and his body disappeared into oblivion.

In addition, when I mean Oblvion, I mean, the actual game of oblivion.

Then Neon said, “you know what we should do!?”

I then responded by, “I’m afraid to ask.”

Then Neon said, “we should have a battle to the death with our Nixon’s!! We can use the death battle arena at my old Pre-K teachers house.”

He then dragged me along a dirt road and we ended up in Neon’s old childhood teachers house.

We just busted in without knocking, although, it didn’t matter, because the teacher a Muslim Jew who was doing the Russian dance on top of a coffee table, with draft punk playing, ‘television rules the nation’ ,while there was an audience of dogs booing the Muslim Jew guy. It was as if I was going insane.

Neon then dragged me to the Muslims Jews hidden basement, where there was illegal cock fighting and a Nixon death battle.

There was a battle going on when we arrived, which was Lance Armstrong who had a Pokémon and a humping robot, fighting against a giant fucking Asian Nixon head.

The giant Nixon head said to the humping robot and Pokémon, “I am your god!! Bow down to me and all shall suffer the same fate as gay Nixon! And illegal Mexican Nixon as well!!!”

He then shot laser beams in and out of his eyes and killed his opponents and the person who had those Pokémon was Lance Armstrong.

He then said, “Dam it. Now I have cancer again.”

He then was teleported back to earth, or as in the earth you guys are in. apparently, this is how he got the steroids, by winning battles against giant Nixon head’s, but if he lost, he got cancer.

Nevertheless, if he lost to a black guy, he got AIDS. This chapter get’s more fucked up as we go, I know. I’m afraid too, but it’ll be over soon.

Then the Nixon head that won said, “I mother fucking win!! Take that super Asian Nixon head!” Then he exploded and super Asian Nixon head pissed on the audience and ate their legs. I’m starting to get scared of this planet the more that I think about it.

We were then teleported to the battle arena, where the people from the matrix came up to me, and gave me my weapon, which was a red pill, and gave Neon the blue pill.

We then took it, and Neon was just knocked out, while I hallucinated.

I imagined a giant chicken mask fighting Tara strong in a battle to the death, with turkeys fucking scarecrows in the ass, while beer rained, and I was in a field that was strawberries, while the beetles were playing “strawberries fields forever.”

The only thing that I enjoyed was the song. In addition, if that’s what really our lives are, and we’re just laying there in the strawberry fields, you know, since I took the red pill and all, then I rather stay here then go back to the strawberry fields.

Neon and I then woke up from being knocked out, and I saw a dead black Nixon head in front of me. Apparently, the heads were fighting while we were knocked out, and my Nixon head got a little violent.

He used his mouth and slaughtered the black Nixon head. When Neon saw this, he said, “Dam it. You killed my Black Nixon head and sunken my battleship.”

For some reason, that sounded funny. Well, then Neon ignored that his Battleship and never talked about it to me in every possible way. Well, then Neon ignored that his black Nixon head was destroyed and told me to follow him to the bar where I would meet his friends.

When we got to the bar, which, by the way, the bar was like that bar from star wars, where the classic bar music was playing. I don’t fucking know, it’s hard to explain.

Well, my floating Nixon head also came along. I then met Neon’s old friends who were at the bar. Neon’s friends consisted of that guy who played in Green Lateran, but had the Green Lantern powers, ALF, Donald Trump, a floating JFK head, a giant mother fucking Dr. Pepper can that talked, Tom the rock, and Tom Hanks.

Neon introduced me to the Green Lantern guy, and he said hello to me and what not. Donald Trump was about to say something, but then the Green Lantern guy said, “Shut the fuck up trump!! No one wants to hear your political beliefs. No wait, I believe in a different type of government. Nooooooooooooo!!!!”

Then guards took him away and into a tree where he was signing staying alive, while being butt fucked by squalls. I said my political beliefs, which was the same thing that Green Lantern was, but no one took me away.

I thought I could actually be free from that nightmare, but yet, I was wrong. Then Neon asked if they could help him get his powers back, but Donald Trump was bleeding all over, ALF, well, he just talked to me instead.

He said, “Can I eat your cat?”

I said I didn’t have a cat with me, and he said, “Then why the fuck do I smell a cat around. Cat!? Cat? Where are you? I just want to fuck you and eat you! Caaaaaaaaat?”

ALF then walked around the bar, looking for the cat.

Then the Dr. Pepper can said, “no thanks.” He was a polite Dr. Pepper can.

Then Tom the rock just simply said no, and Tom Hanks didn’t say a word, but ate everyone’s legs at the bar except for me and Neon.

Then we walked out the bar, and Neon told me, “First, if we want to get my powers back, we have to go to the council of random.”

I asked how do we get there, and he told me we had to ride a retarded flying moose, who was Lumpy from Happy Tree Friends, which was a daily transportation and we got on it and crash into a mountain and we were there.

I felt like we died, but we ended up at the council. We then had wait in the waiting room area.

I sat there, while Neon put a pencil in his mouth, and puked. Neon said it was tradition to do it while waiting for the council.

He offered me to do it, but I obviously refused, but then out of nowhere, optimums primes came to me, gave me a gun to kill a Pepsi bottles, while three dogs were fucking a bee and a turkey had fire coming out of its mouth and ass, while two robots name Jim and Harry fucked all night long. I don’t know anymore, ok?

It was then our turn to go into the council. It was a dark room, and there were five spots where the wise ones of randomness were sitting at. Yea, they’re called that.

Then the leader of them all said, “The council shall commence in ten minutes. Until then, the bear shall come in.”

Then Neon had a scared look on his face and said, “oh no. not the bear!?”

Then, a Russian bear on a unicycle juggling three balls while the classic circus music playing in the background came in. That was it.

That and a scuba diver and a guy in a panda costume were in a row boat going back and forth across the floor, while a monkey was bashing an alligators skull in with a calculator. This chapter keeps getting weirder and weirder as we move on with this part of the story, isn’t it?

Then they exploded out of random and the leader said, “Your request of your powers has been denied.”

I couldn’t believe it. Now I had to continue a random adventure with this guy.

Since I clearly wanted to get this adventure over with, I spoke up and said, “Hold on a minute here. My friend Neon here really needs those powers back. I mean, back in Equestria, ponies need our help, because creatures called predators are attacking and killing innocent lives. So can you please just give him his powers back, so I can go home to a peaceful place, so I can smoke my weed in peace?”

Then the leader said, “wait, you’re that normal guy who isn’t even a citizen of this place. Ok then, you get the powers that breaks all laws of physics. Case dismiss.”

I then had a strong force push me back and I had powers to break all laws of physics. All, right, and the council members, all shot a Pepsi bottle, while fucking a crushed red peppers container, while rainbows came out of there asses, while flying cats were eating pop tarts.

Then Neon had an ok what the fuck expression on his face, and we walked out of the building that was not in the mountain.

Who the fuck knows, maybe crashing into the mountain was a teleportation, but then again, why didn’t the rest of the passengers were there. I don’t know. It’s best not to question it.

So then Neon said, “maybe someone stole it from me”

I then said, “oh boy, why would someone want to steal your powers?”

To be honest, I don’t know if I was trying to be scarstic there are not.

Well, the next thing you know, out of nowhere, Neon grabs a device, and puts it on the ground and opened a portal to earth.


Robert downy jr. was relaxing at his home. He had stared in iron man 3 and was making a fuck ton of money, and paid hookers and what not.

He even had eleven sons, but didn’t care, since he banged so many chicks before. Sure, he had a wife, but of course, he didn’t give a fuck, because he was fucking iron man.

He was sitting down, reading the newspapers, and he was reading where a dead Taylor Swift body had been found dead in her home.

Robert had a smile on his face, for he was the one that killed Taylor, and blamed it on Jude Law, that guy he works with in the Sherlock Holmes films. He was then hoping he would get a better actor to replace Jude Law.

Of course, how did he make it look like Jude Law did it?

Well, he had put a random stick by it, so it looked like a British person had done it, because everyone knows that all British people are wizards.

Then, a portal opened in his one hundred million dollar solid gold and red living room and was taken through the portal. Robert then woke up to a neon greenish pony.


Well, Neon had brought Robert Downy jr. along for the ride. At first, he was confused, but then Neon told him he was Sherlock Holmes, and that he needed him.

Then Neon killed a random person, took his hat and pipe, and gave it to Robert. Robert holds it in his hands, still speechless.

Then Neon grabbed my Nixon head, and threaten him to say something or he would use the Nixon head against him.

The Nixon head had all kind of guns and shit, and even a nuclear bomb ready go off any minute and had barking at Robery with his sharp teeth.

Then Robert looked up in the sky and pointed upwards. It was a yellow submarine.

Then Neon said, “of course. How could’ve I missed it. it’s so obvious. I had a feud with the beetles for years, and maybe they did it. Or maybe, perhaps it was the blue meanies that did it. Quick Knight! Buddy ol’ pal! To the yellow submarine!”

Then Neon got on top of my Nixon and floated upwards.

Then Robert looked at me and I said, “look. I wouldn’t question it if I was you, and I’m more confused then you are.”

I then was somehow teleported up to the submarine and the beetles were animated from the movie and were singing yellow submarine.

Well, two beetles anyway. One was dead on the ground, because I remember one died of cancer. The other one had a hole through his skull, which was when one of the beetles was assassinated by a guy with glasses.

I’m looking at you NC. We all know that you were the one that did it and covered it up on a doucebag. That fucker.

Neon then used the Nixon head and killed another member of the beetles and asked the last one alive where his powers were at.

Then the last beetle said, “I don’t have a fucking clue. How about if you ask the dam walrus, down below the sub marine.

Now if you excuse me, we were about to sing a song about love.”

He then started singing, and his heart exploded and was everywhere in the sub.

Then, we were teleported out of the sub and the sub crashed into a tower like building. Then another sub crashed into the other tower like building right next to the one that was already destroyed. We basically made another 9/11, but with submarines.

I think we should’ve done it by using giant polar bears instead of yellow sub marines. I don’t know where the second sub came from, but I have a feeling that Osama bin pony had something to do with it.

We then saw the walrus. The walrus had sunglasses and had hippies all around him and singing ‘I am the walrus.’

Neon then asked him where was his powers were at, and the walrus said, “How about you look beyond the stars man.”

Then Neon said, “of course. Quick! To Effils65’s house!”

Then Neon left without me and the walrus was then eaten up by a rhino. Goody.

Then Neon stopped in the middle of the road, high jacked a car that was a Lego car, and he earned two stars with five hundred dollars, like in a Grand Theft Auto game.

Neon saw that above him, pointed the gun at the score, and the two stars went to five stars and the money went to the infinite symbol. Then he shot down that white dragon from the never-ending story movies and we got on it.

Why did he high jacked a Lego car, well, some Muslims beer cans paid him and they drove the car into a Denys and it exploded. Then everybody stopped in their places and applauded them for their good deed.

Now, that’s actually makes sense, because Denny’s fucking sucks. I mean, just go to a fucking I hop or a fucking waffle house.

Why would you be going to a Denny’s in the first place? in matter of fact, there was a drunken donuts or Dunken Dounts I should say right by Denny’s, and it didn’t get destroyed and I asked, “why didn’t you destroy the Dunken Donuts instead?”
I mean Krispy Kremes is so much fucking better.

But don’t worry, a giant ass fucking midget and Ronald Regan lit the place on fire and took a piss on it, grabbed a Canadian person, gave him American bacon, which he then melted and said no like in the wizard of oz, and did crack and shot out to space, where they are living with Wheatly from Portal 2. What a nice ending for that place.

Neon then pulled me on the white dragon and we went off to a concert hall. Oh right, and my floating Nixon pal and Robert as well. We then landed in the concert parking lot, which was full of illegal Mexicans and some illegal Mexicans escorted us to our seats, which somehow Neon had reserved. Don’t understand that, but ok then.

We then were in front row seats and Effil65 was there. They then started to play ‘I’m blue.’Now, I’m a huge fan of that song, so I got up on stage and sang it with them and the blue aliens took me to the planet right next to planet random.

Then Neon grabbed hold onto the ship. So basically, he used me as bait. Nevertheless, what I don’t understand is, how did he know I would go up on stage and sing. Coincidence? I don’t fucking know, it was blue fucking aliens.

Well, then the ship landed and I was then taken to the blue alien stadium, where the song ‘I’m blue’ continued to play.

In addition, surprisingly, as for the instruments that were being played were the Italian army from the ‘80’s stars’ video that effile65 did.

There was also the red fucking balls acting as security guards, and that blue avatar chick from the ‘move your body’ video was there as well.

Nevertheless, the way, my newly founded powers couldn’t be controlled at the moment and it killed the avatar chick. Well, at least the 90’s chick I think I was supposed to know when I watched the video was at least dead.

Well, while this was going on, Neon, Robert, and Nixon were fighting off the blue aliens like in the music video. They were also singing the song ‘I’m blue’ as well.

After they found me on stage, Neon shot a gun in the air, and asked, “where is your blue meanie leader!!!”

the leader then came up on stage and asked what the fuck that we needed from him, because he was raping a blue ho, blue balls, and the avatar people, which included James Camoren.

Man, that is just fucked up right there. Neon then asked, “Do you have my powers?”

the blue guy said no, turned into a raptor from Jurassic Park and killed some of the blue aliens. Neon then said, “let’s go.”

Unfortunately, the crowd members heard Neon, and asked for me to stay.

Well, I wasn’t a fucking singer, so I said no, but I felt bad that they weren’t getting good music, and that if I left, they would have to go back to listening to Taylor Swift music, which if they heard it, they’re explode.

Either it was so awesome, they died, or it was so horrible, they died. Either way, they die. Well, I asked the Italian army behind me and asked if they could play ‘my console’ and ‘back in time.’

The armies response, “we are Italians and we will one day invade your earthly planet and kill you all and eat all of your legs and arms and we will cease to exist, for we don’t have enough intelligence to exist. Or in other words, we are too retarded.”

Which they said in unison and then they all turned into midgets and started playing the requested songs. Well, at least I leaned something that day, that all Italians are midgets.

No wonder they made that Asian theme song for MLP. I also possibly didn’t make sense there, but hey, this chapter doesn’t, so why the fuck not?

In addition, Neon kicked me in the back of the blacklegs and I then teleported to what looked like the camp site from MASH.

Apparently, Neon knew I could not control my breaking the laws of physics ability just yet, so he gave me a little boost to use them and go back to planet random.

Well, we were in the grass fields in that campsite from MASH, and when we saw it, the theme song started to play.

Neon then told me to go down and talk to one of the surgeons down below. I used to watch the show a lot and I knew the characters, however, it’s been a while, and for some reason, this and other things is what I forgot about back on Earth.

I forgot the characters names, so just bare with me. I talked to one of the surgeons in one of the tents and too be honest, it looked like the Vietnam war was still going on in this planet, and this would possibly or possibly will not piss of veterans if they ever read this part of my story.

In addition, I believe it was the Koran War in the show, but as I said before, it’s been a while and I forgotten what it was.

Well, I asked and he told me to put a mask on, to which I then said, “what the fuck did you just say? I’m sorry, but am I not going to fucking infect the person. I mean, I’m fucking eleven feet away from that guy who seems to be suffering from a weird Asian disease. That maybe or maybe not just called the Asian disease on this planet, since it’s fucking random as fuck. so please, can you tell me where my friend Neon’s powers are, since he told me to go down here and ask you guys?”

they then started to cry and kill the guy that was having surgery done on him, and said, “how could my best friends plane be shot down over the sea of Asians. Why dam you!!? Dam you space monkey zombie god!! Dam you!! dam you to HELL!!!.”

He then shot himself, and while the others just fucked and raped the two dead bodies in the room.

Therefore, just to be clear here, what they heard from me was this, “your best friend’s plane was shot down over the sea of Japan. There were no survivors.”

Therefore, we were going by the show basically, but in a fucked up way.

Then Neon suggested on talking with a Vietnamese, or sorry, he said an Asian guy, since he’s Asian and would know where his powers are.

Well, Neon is weird and I wouldn’t question his weirdness. Just let whatever happens with him happen. That is what I do, because there’s no use fighting it.

Well, with luck, an Asian was smart enough, since he did the math correctly and were passed the white people at the guard posts.

The random Asian guy said, “YOU DIE!! YOU DIE NOW!!!”

Then Neon said, “what luck. An Asian guy on planet random, and he’s one of the rarest species on the planet, although on earth, there’s only one and there’s a shit loads of them, but this is a rare Asian. You must approach it slowly, or it’ll get startled and run away. Hello mister Asian guy, I’m not here to hurt. I am your friend. I just need you to answer a question for me. Can you do that Mr. Asian guy?”


Then Neon asked the questioned, “where is my powers mister Asian. Don’t be scared, I promise I won’t kill you if you if you don’t know answer me in five seconds.”

The guy then said, “FUCK YOU!!!”

Then Neon said to me, “my god. He’s right. I’ve been blind this entire time. It was my old enemy, Kula!! Thanks mister Asian guy! Bless you. Bless you and your Asian soul!”

Then the Asian guy said, “I KILL YOU!!!”

Then Neon killed him and trotted off into the distance. Then, the dead Asian guy’s skin peeled back, revealing a giant lizard that ran into the jungle. What do you know? We’re just being stereotypical here today, aren’t we.

Therefore, according to this planet, all Asian people are really lizards that are disguised as to what we think are Asians. I always knew they were aliens. Oh my god. I’m starting to become a Neon as I’m writing this.

That and I did have the powers of breaking the laws of physics, so I guess it’s making me put it down here. That or the powers are making me be a fucking troll, so technically, the power here is the troll, not me, but then again, know what? Fuck it, let’s move on with life and forgive and forget.

Therefore, what happened next was I saw Neon looking at the ground and stopped me in my tracks and said, “Knight. Don’t move a muscle. It’s a mine molar. It’s an animal that will explode if you move.”

Then Robert walked into the scene and said, “I’m so confused right now you random ponies that I just met. I mean I’m’ supposed to be back in Hollywood, fucking a blonde chick that I paid to rape that I found on Craig’s list and star in Sherlock Holmes 3. So, can you ponies take me home or what? I can give you hookers and money if you do.”

Then Neon responded to that with, “Quick Iron Man. Take this mine molar and save us!”

then Robert said ‘what the fuck’ and the iron man suit start to come to him one by one, as he was being tossed the mine molar. Then mine molar then exploded and sent iron man off into the distance beyond the mountains.

Well, looks like Earth isn’t getting Sherlock Holmes 3 or the Avengers 2 then.

Then Neon kicked me again to a warehouse building, where it was raining outside and the doors to the warehouse was open.

I asked what we were doing here, and he said that ‘he believed his old enemy, Zula had his powers.’

I then went along with it, since I’ve lost all hope here. Then Neon and I walked through the doors and we found Zula, gutting some Canadians that he found on the road.

He then said in a heavy weapon guy’s voice, “after all these years Neon, you finally found me. I’m guessing you’re here to finish what you’ve started all those years ago. Well then, kill me you son of a …”

then Neon killed him. He then said, “I don’t understand. If I killed him, my powers would have returned to me by now. There’s only one other thing that I can do. Quick Knight! To the All Mighty Giant Zune!”

you read right folks. There was a giant fucking Zune, which surprisingly was in the room right next to us. We then walked up to it and it glowed a green bar whenever it talked.

It said to us, “I’m am the all mighty giant Zune. What do you want?”

Neon was about to talk, but I decided to make him shut the fuck up, because everything was so weird today, and I just wanted to go home. So I said, “we’re here to see if you can give my friend here his powers back, from this corpse that we sacrifice to you.”

The Zune said, “well that’s very kind of you guys to do so, but I’ve got like Bill Gates killing and sacrificing people to me, so I really don’t give a fuck. However, I will give your friends power back if you get one of my Zune’s.”

I then said, “what!? No fucking way. Zunes fucking suck. IPods are way better.”

Then Neon whispered into my ear, “good. Good. Resist the Zune.”

I then said,” isn’t there some other way?”

The giant Zune then replied, “no deal. You either take a Zune or get the fuck out, so I may continue to plan a bombing on all the apple stores.”

I then gave in and said, “Fine. Give me a fucking Zune you doucebag.”

The Zune then said, “really? Wow, no one ever buys my shit. Ok then. I’ve got a 4GB, a 25GB, a 100GB a…..”

I then said to shut him the fuck up, “just give me the dam 4GB so I can get the fuck out of here. besides, I’m not even going to use it.”

The Zune then said, “well, here’s your Zune. And I put as many songs that I could and I also have like good music and shit on their like today’s modern music and….”

By the way, he gave me the Zune through a slot or a whatever, he just gave me it.

I then cut him off and said, “let me stop you right there. Now, you’re just wanting me to burn this thing when I get home. So, I hold up my part of the deal, now let’s see yours.”

The Zune then hesitated and said, “Oh right. Sorry. Got carried away because no one takes my Zune’s. Ok, so I’m scanning the body and I can’t give your friends powers back.”

I then asked why and he said, “It’s because he doesn’t have them.”

Then Neon said, “Wait a minute. I know who took it this time. I’m sure this time Knight. Moreover, he’s been under our noises this entire time. Quick Knight! Back to Equestria!”

Neon was about to zoom out, but I stopped him before he could go any farther.

I then said to the Zune, “before we leave, can you take away my powers?”

Then Zune then said, “uh…. no dumbass. I can’t, unless someone equal to your power ability could, but you’re pretty much at the second to highest power there is, so no, but I can give you a container to put the powers in, but you can’t destroy it, nor give it to someone else and it will always go to you.”

I then sighed and said, “Fine, give me the fucking dam container.”

Then the Zune said, “I will, but you have to switch out the 4GB Zune with the 300GB Zune.”

I then said, “Fine then. Give me it so I can go fucking home now.”

The Zune then said in a whisper, “Oh boy. I never got a good customer. Ok, so here, it is and I’ve got you tons of songs on there. And also, here’s the container, and I’m not going to tell you how to fucking use it, but there is the instructions on the container itself, so thanks, friends.”

I then said, “I’m not your fucking friend. Let’s get the fuck off this planet Neon.”

Therefore, we did. I then teleported off the planet and back to Equestria. Yea, I was starting to get used to the powers.

When me and Neon got back to Stalia, there were bunch of dead bodies everywhere.

Their were dead bodies left and right. There were dead bodies’ coming out of the trees man.

There were dead bodies that were big and too small for a rat to eat. There was one dead body and two bodies. There were red dead bodies and blue dead bodies. There were new dead bodies and old dead bodies. They were quite a treat. Moreover, why the fuck am I writing like Dr. fucking Seuss.

Then again, he was good at children book and mostly part of our childhood, but then again, he was a rapist, because all children’s book authors are rapists, because why wouldn’t they do book for children? Confused? So am I, let’s move on.

Therefore, I even found my friends were all dead, except for Wolf. He escaped with Molestia and decided to live out his days at Molestia’s castle and get fucked twenty four/seven.

Well, the predators saw us, and I said ‘run’ to Neon, and I basically followed him to the building where he had been hiding that dead body.

He told me to use my powers to hold up the door so the predators couldn’t get through, and he then walked up to the dead body and said, “So. It was you this entire time that stole my powers.”

I then was like ‘what the fuck’, but then a white orb of light got out of the dead body and it said, “Yes!! It was I that took your powers, and you won’t get it back.”

I then asked, “who the fuck are you!?”

The white orb then said, “I am the orb of blah. I have killed many on many planets. I was going to destroy the wrenched planet random, until Neon stopped me.”

Then Neon said, “I would’ve killed you, but you ate all the fucking Scooby snacks. So hand over the powers, or I’ll use this Asian guy.”

Neon then grabbed an Asian guy out of nowhere.

Then the orb of blah said, “You think an Asian guy can stop me. You haven’t change Neon. Not one bit. You still, after all these long dreadful years, you think a random Asian guy can stop me? Well, you got me; it can stop me, but only in this form. Now, Neon! You have forced me to show my true form!"

Then the orb of blah turned into a hamster that talked. That is fucking right folks, a fucking hamster.

He then continue to talk, which was, “now you can never stop me!!”

Then Neon said, “you monster. How could you be a hamster? Of course, I’ve should’ve seen this coming.”

Then the hamster said, “Yes! Not you, nor you human friend can stop me!!”

Surpassingly, Neon ignored that, which thank my fucking Celestia for that, but then Neon said, “well, I may not be able to stop, and since I don’t have my powers, that even fucks me over even more, but I still have one thing left. Talking to the audience, right audience?”

Neon then gave a wink, while turning his head not to me, nor to the hamster, but what looked like if there was a audience, well, in this case readers, but audience. In other words, you guys that are now reading this part of the chapter. Neon was talking to you not too long ago and winked at you. Basically, breaking the fourth wall.

The hamster then said, “You Selfish fool! You have doomed us all!!” I then said, “What the fuck just happened?”

Then the hamster replied to me, “don’t you know foolish human, that your friend Neon has doomed us all, by breaking the sacred fourth wall. The wall the separates the audience from the show. The wall that is sacred and should never be broken, or all known life will cease to exist!”

Yea, Neon doomed us all. I then asked, “Wait! What about Pinkie Pie!? She always breaks the fourth wall.”

Then Neon replied, “Yes, but she isn’t bounded to planet random, so whenever she breaks the fourth wall, she can never destroy the universe, nor bring the audience members into the show.”

I then asked once more, “show?”

then Neon said, “Yes, show! My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. That is the show that they are watching, which was created by Laruen Faust, although back on Earth, that’s what they think who created it, but they don’t know the truth. Laruen Faust, nor anyone else ever thought up the show. Not even the Bronies. I mean, we can’t even be created by a simple Brony on the computer, writing this out as a story.”

I then said, “I’m so confused right now.”

Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you don’t have to hide it anymore, I know that you know. I know that you’re not from this universe, and are from Earth. I also know about the portals and TK and Factory Dash, by the way, the tour of the factory was great. I got a coffee mug that says ‘I went to the rainbow factory’ from the gift shop. No, wait that was an alternate universe where the factory did have a tour and they had a gift shop. It was great how they made rainbows and all. I never would’ve thought using ponies would be useful of creating a rainbow. Anyways, I know all about the Brony fandom and you being a Brony.” I was really shocked that Neon knew.

I then said, “Well, my covers fucked. No wait? You said earlier that humans aren’t good, so why haven’t you killed me yet?”

Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you really don’t know, do you? Well, I would tell you, but I’m not allowed to, because the
universe told me not to, and that they’re going to do it. Anyways, you don’t know do you, about the show? I mean, what did you think of our existence Knight? that we are just part of some story?"

(Note: I had orginally made a joke about me and this story's existance, but I have changed my mind it is now delted and forever lost. Although it is still on it's orginal document, but that is a different story.)
I just sat there thinking of a possibility Morgan Freeman might of came into the story, but ok.

Neon continued to talk and said, “I mean, come on Knight? What do you think of this existence? I mean, what Laruen Faust’s ideas were, they were not true at all. The ideas that she had for the show weren’t based off her thoughts and ideas, but based off something else that is completely different. The show is really based off of is….”

Then the universe exploded. Well, Neon did break the fucking fourth wall, so I should’ve expected that coming. Neon and I were basically the only living things in the non-existent area.

Well, we were floating at random and Neon had a smile on his face and said, “My powers are finally mine once more!”

then, there was a big bang. Basically saying, Neon is god of this universe. In addition, that means I’m the co-creator of this universe Well then, that’s surprising to me.

We then ended up back in Stalia, minutes before the attack from the predators. Neon and I were the only ones that had memory of the attack ever happening.

We were in my home and Neon kicked down the door and killed all the predators at once. That and Neon found another dead body that he can keep secret from me and shit, so, Neon wasn’t completely sad, as long as this dead body doesn’t turn out to be one of Neon’s enemies again, I guess it’s ok.

In addition, everyone in Stalia questioned what the fuck Neon just did. Even my friends did, and even they know him the most. Even Classy Jack.

Yea, remember that fucking name? If so, I’m surprised, because I was wondering if anyone of you remembered that full name. Well, do not know what I was trying to prove there, but Neon saved us all.

Well, I saw all this happened from my house, and I just said fuck it and I went to sleep. Then Neon walked through my door, and talked to me about shit.

He also asked me if I wanted to go back to Planet Random, but I said fuck off.

He then said ok and he told me he would see me for winter wrap up in 10 minutes. Yea, winter wrap up was that same day. Apparently, we had snow.

Episode 18: Winter Wrap Up That Gives You Hypothermia

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Chapter18: the day of winter wrap up

Well, it was five more minutes until I had to get up for Winter Wrap up.

I’ve been so tired lately from all the fucking adventures. I mean, first, there was with the sleepover, then the black guy pony thing, then the hangover one. Then there was the parasprites, and not too long ago, planet random.

I was really tired out by now, and didn’t want to go on another adventure. However, that wasn’t all. When I went to sleep for a little bit, I dreamt of Laruen Faust OC pony again.

However, this time around, I woke up only three minutes into the dream. I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I mean, I’m a fucking badass, who has seen things that no one else hasn’t seen before. I had good friends. The mane six knew me. I knew the rulers and was the personal student of one. I had a timber wolf named Wolf. I even had a fucking tiger and been on many adventures. So why can’t I sleep at night?

In fact, later that night, when I went to sleep, I didn’t sleep at all. I couldn’t go to sleep because I kept on having that dream.

It was like a nightmare. I mean, it wasn’t, but it kept taunting me, as if I’m missing something. I didn’t know what to do.

At night, I just went down to the basement and walked around, trying to make sense of that dream that I kept having.

I couldn’t shake the feeling off about that dream that I had. It kept getting worse every time I dreamt it. I mean, I didn’t sleep for days on end. In fact, years. Not kidding you, years.

Not until when I figured everything out and what that dream meant, I was able to get back to sleep. Although, I would never dream of being on a planet of beer and weed again, but of those nightmares that I had before coming to this universe. My Alicorn days or the fall or with TF. They were like nightmares to me.

Therefore, after I woke up from the dream three minutes ago, I laid there on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Wolf wasn’t there, nor was Molestia. I was all alone, and I rather felt scared of being alone for some reason. Just being alone with my thoughts about the dream kept scaring me.

I didn’t know what kept scaring me, but something did. I continued to lay there until Wolf came running in and telling me it was winter wrap up.

Strange, the roles had been reversed. In the show, Twilight was the one excited for it. I mean, she even fucking woke up three in the fucking morning for that shit, but now Wolf is excited for it and I’m not.

However, Wolf told me it was important for him. You see, when he was living in the Everfree, he and the animals as were also too had a winter wrap.

They even sang the song every year. However, he was going to help the Everfree and he wanted me to help as well, since I was basically the king of the Everfree or something. What? Don’t remember I was king? Well, I mentioned it like once or twice. If you recall back in Chapter seven, I mentioned it.

Well, then Wolf told me he was going to meet me in the Everfree. I then said fuck it to myself and continued to lie there, however, the universe of course still wanted to be a fucking doucebag to me, and fucking teleported me to the only lake that wasn’t frozen for the day and landed on an iceberg.

I fell into the fucking water and felt like shit. Dam the fucking universe.

Why the flaming fuck did the universe had to fucking to that me!? I mean, the fucking universe could’ve just put me in the dam snow!!

Apparently, the universe knew I was its enemy; however, it still had plans for me, so it decided to play dirty. Well, one can play at that game. Really, one. I don’t know how I could have ever gotten back at the fucking universe.

well, I struggled to hold onto an iceberg, and was floating in the fucking coldest water you have ever floated in. as I grabbed hold of the iceberg, not too far from me was a medium sized ship that looked like the Titanic and it was sinking.

Ok, so we’re on a lake and there’s a fucking Titanic boat that’s fucking on fire and is sinking, with no icebergs around. Yea. Hundreds of ponies lost their lives and basically jumped ship and froze to death.

Well, the land was like three feet away from them, but they didn’t even try to swim towards land. They just took the water and died.

I even asked one of the ponies that jumped ship and jumped next to me and he said, “I don’t want to die. This water is so fucking freezing cold. I’m going to die here.”

I then asked him, “excuse me Mr.Dumbass, but you do realize that you’re only three feet from land. I mean, you can latterly just walk towards it and you’ll be fine.”

He then said, “Don’t ruin the moment you fucking doucebag.”

First off, it seems like these ponies were emos and they wanted to die. Maybe it’s a cult. An Asian cult, where the Asians had brought shame upon themselves? No, couldn’t be. The Asians would’ve done it with swords.

So, my guess it’s Greeks or is it Russians. Maybe just people who just want to have a good time and shit…. I’m fucking lost now.

Well, whatever, and second, I forced the guy’s head underwater because he called me a fucking doucebag.

Well, I wish I wouldn’t have done that, because he talked underwater trough the air bubbles and said, “yes, yes, yes! Don’t stop!”

He was fapping underwater. When I saw the cum come out, I immediately got out of the lake.

After I did that, I found a Jack and Rose moment, if you recall the part at the end where Jack was in the water and died.

It was basically a Leonardo Dcaprio pony and Kate Winslet moment.

I saw them talking and shit and having a long ass conversation about how would they fuck each other.

I then pushed Leonardo’s head underwater until he died, took his body and gave it to Neon because apparently, he was building up a dead body that he or someone randomly found outside his home.

I told him I found this dead body at a park, where a dog was fucking a leaf, while a cat shot lasers out of his eyes while a polar bear fucked a cow while singing old McDonald had a farm.

When Neon heard that part, Neon said, “I’m so proud of you. You are starting to turn out like an ordinary citizen of Planet Random.”

I did wish that wasn’t true, but I’ll talk about that part another time.

Well, anyway, when Kate saw what I did to the guy, I said, “you have two fucking choices. You either, A, you’re a fucking witness and that means I have to kill you, or B, you can shut the fuck up about how he’s dead an all. Besides, he was doucebag and a crack head that had AIDS and shit.”

Also, she believed me on that part. Well then, I guess it is true that blonde-haired people are stupid. Well then, that thirteen year old on Wikipedia was right.

Too bad I killed him after I asked him a question about where do I find a cretin type of fish at, and he said, ‘your Mom.’

First of all, that was horrible, and at the time, I had my powers from the universe and injected myself with off the grid powers and killed him and blamed it on the Kevin Bacon, because we all know he’s a pedophile, right?

Well, after the blonde bitch disappeared, and that is right. She disappeared and was never seen again for a while, I went to the main part of Stalia, and was curious how they do winter wrap up here.

The town was also mostly founded by earth ponies, so everything was the earth pony way.

Well, when I got to the center of town, a small little section went to black, and a spotlight came on with Forest in it, and the winter wrap up song begun.

However, since it’s the same fucking song, there’s no point for me putting down the lyrics. However, there was a difference. The song was pretty much like Winter Wrap up cover by ‘all levels at once.’

(Note: go to 6:51 for the Winter Wrap Up song. for some odd reason, on All Levels At once's channel, he for some reason deleted it and this is the best that I could find.)

In addition, while they were singing, if you recall Twilights part in the song, the universe also made me sing and trot along the dirt trail.

However, I knew all the lyrics already, but I didn’t even fucking feel like singing, but the universe had to be an asshole to me and made me do it.

After the song was over, I said out load to myself, “wow. Apparently, Stalia did much better than Ponyville. Maybe it’s because Stalia has more of a musical budget then Ponyville. That would explain the techno and shit.”

Then, I heard rustling from the bushes next to me. I took a closer look and Randy Newman was there.

He had a note pad, writing lyrics down for a new horrible song for Disney. I asked him, “Randy Newman? Why the fuck are you behind these shitty ass bushes?”

He then said, “Don’t blow my cover. I’m remaking winter wrap up. Now what would be a good tempo? I guess just like everyone of my songs then.”

Well, I kind of ignored Randy Newman being there and all, and I decided to help Jack with the birds nest. Well, not decided to, but the fucking asshole of a universe teleported me to Jack.

When I teleported there, Jack didn’t even fucking notice me. He later did and the words that were forced to come out of my mouth is that I wanted to help.

He then gave me the supplies to make the nest, and I ended up making a sign that says ‘fuck you birds.’

Then Jack said, “it needs a little more work. Maybe if you add bitches after the ‘you’, it’ll work.”

Apparently, Jack was on my side on the thing here and about the birds. Then, Jack took it away from me and started to add shit to it.

Then Wolf found me and dragged me to the Everfree to help him out.

When I got there, the animals were about to sing winter wrap up. However, this was completely different, because the animals started to sing in English and it was a slow Irish type song. It was quite interesting.

After that song was over, I asked Wolf, “So what’s up with the animals and …..”

He then cut me off and said, “They only speak English when they sing the song. Don’t ask why.”

Well, then, apparently animals could talk here. Well, whatever, doesn’t fucking matter to me.

Well, instead of building nests, the animals made a birdhouse out of wood. Well then, at least they are good artisan.

Of course, how did they get the wood, well, all I saw what they used was a bloody axe. Apparently, the animals killed some campers not too far from the building of the birdhouses area.

Strange. I could’ve sworn that was Neon’s doing, which it was. He was working with animals. Yes, Neon is a killer now.

Well, I was then was supposed to help Wolf with the building. Well, every animal made a birdhouse, except for me.

I made a redneck southern bird home. What happened was, once that birdhouse was made, a redneck bird flew in, grabbed a shotgun and said in a southern tone, “You better get off my fucking dam property. It took me eight years to save enough money from my welfare checks!”

yes, the bird I built for was a lying doucebag fucker bird. I later killed that bird, and unbelievably, there were bird police, and I pinned the blame on Tom Cruise.

I know he wasn’t in this universe, but the birds believed me. Well, I had to blame it on somebody. Tom is a scientologist member, so I had to. Besides, not too many jokes towards scientologists are made every day, but apparently, History is made every day.

This reminds me of something, note to self, show monster quest show of slenderfetus, and watch episode of it.

Speaking of slenderfetus, I was minding my own business besides Wolf, and slenderfetus popped out of fucking nowhere. Yea, he returns once more.

He then said, “Yea!!! Dada is here for Winter Wrap up. I’ve got a present for you dada!!”

Slenderfetus then dragged a pony who was tied up, beaten to a bloody pulp, and was begging for mercy.

I had pretty much wide eyes when I saw this and to make this even more disturbing for you people, slenderfetus killed it in the most gruesome way possible, by making it do the Achy Breaky Heart dance.

Oh god why!? Oh the humanity of that dance! Why did the fucking 90’s even have to make such a horrid dance?

Well, the pony’s head then exploded and all of his brains and blood then went onto my fucking face and mouth. Well, at least it’s better than having pinkies period in my mouth.

I then said to slenderfetus, “ohhhhhhhhhhhh…… how thoughtful of you….uhhhhhhh……. son? I have a gift for you too……..let me just go and ……”

I ran like hell back to Stalia. I didn’t even want to look back.

Well, from what Wolf has told me, when I left running like a little bitch, the animals just ignored slenderfetus, while slenderfetus stood there waiting for me.

However, slenderfetus saw more prey, and he went after that prey and played a little game with him. Which was to collect eight pages of him.

I went back to Stalia, and I came across Neon breaking up the ice so the lakes could melt. He was ice-skating it. I was surprised he wasn’t setting fire to the ice, while having robots fuck a cow while doing some 80’s shit.

Neon saw me and asked if I wanted to help him. Well, I was going to say, “Fuck you,” but I said yes since he was actually doing something normal.

He gave me my ice skates and I put them on. Now, back on earth, I wasn’t such a good skater, but I was able to use a spell that I made myself to make me skate better.

I know I wasn’t supposed to use magic, but really, who the fuck was going to rat me out?

Forest was high in the sky doing cloud busting, Jack was doing god knows what, Arrell was basically making sure the animals breaded, and yes, instead of waking up the animals, he were making sure the first thing the animals did when they got up was to fuck each other. That sick fucker.

As for Mac, I could see him wanting to rat me out, but he was a southern redneck doing southern redneck things. With Neon, well, he’s random and shit. Besides, he wasn’t breaking the laws of physics to melt the ice.

Well, I ice-skated and I broke through the ice. When I did, I found the lost city of Atlantis and New Orleans.

I couldn’t believe it myself either. Therefore, this is what the dead black people of New Orleans were at the bottom of a lake in the MLP universe.

Well, the next thing you know, I came back up to the surface and I could not find Neon anywhere. Well, I then saw another ship in the lake, Neon was right by it, the ship hit him, and the ship sunk to the bottom of the lake. So apparently, that titanic ship that sank earlier, that ship hit a Neon.

That also meant that Neon was the man of steel. I was afraid of Neon at that moment and I slowly went back down under the water. I didn’t want to die that day.

As I did, the water felt a little bit warmer. Then there was a current and I was brought to the murky swamps of the Everfree.

I then saw Wolf and I asked him, “Wolf. What the fuck just happened? Is the changeling queen here, just like in the problem with magic fan fic?”

Wolf then said, “No. I just used those navi things from legend of Zelda to teleport you here.”

I then said, “But those things don’t even do jack-shit.”

Wolf then said, “Yes, but this was the MLP universe, so I guess the magic helped them do it.”

Then, right next to Wolf was the navi things from Zelda, and it kept on saying ‘hey.’

Then Link came the fuck out of nowhere and killed those things with is badass shield and said, “I’m fucking tired of you fucking things!!! Go to fucking hell!!! Next time, I’m taking the fucking bird. Sure he has AIDS, but no gives a fucking dam.”

He then walked away into a portal and back to his game. I then wondered where the fuck are these portals popping out. I later asked TK, and he says sometimes portals randomly open up, like a short cut of not having to use off the grid portals. Just like that griffin guy.

Well, after Link left, I asked Wolf what he needed me for, and he said, “We’re going to melt the ice over the rest of the swamp. That and we can eat those fishes.”

I then looked at the other animals and they were licking their lips. Either they are pedophiles or they are really starving for those fishes.

I also saw the fishes under the ice, and they were grabbing spears and shit, as if they were going to war.

They then blew up the ice and the animals and the animals of the swamp started to kill each other and fight.

I then slowly walked backwards, while Wolf was really killing those fishes. It was something like out of saving private Ryan.

Oh, and they were using walkie-talkies as for guns. I do have to admit, nice reference those animals did, although, did the south park creators do it or was it George lucus?

Speaking of him, as I was about to re-enter Stalia, I saw George raping a storm trooper, while Steven Spielberg was jacking off to a naked Indiana Jones. South Park was right, they are rapists and homos.

Well, I then re-entered Stalia once again, and I then went to Arrell, who was making sure the animals were getting up and making sure that they were fucking.

He had seen me, and he said, “Oh hey Knight. Aren’t you supposed to be doing something?”

I then told him, “Well, Arrell. I’m a fucking unicorn that really doesn’t give a fuck about this town. So why the fuck would I want to help?”

He then said to me, “Yea. I would too not give a flying fuck, but I’m too busy making sure the animals are good and are fucking to even care about it. So, you want to help me wake up the animals then?”

I then agreed to his offer, and I went to a cave. I said ‘yes’, because I always wanted to try something. I didn’t grab a bell, although, I was supposed to get a record player and play sexy music so the animals can hump the fuck out of each other, but instead, I did this.

I poked my head in, and said, “Wake the Fuck up!!”

That certainly woke up the animals, but it was John Wayne.

He then said, “Will you keep it down out there. I’m trying to get some sleep and live in hell in peace.”

I then had a confused look on my face, and I saw inside the cave was a hell.

Latterly, a hell, and Satan said, “Hey! Keep it down!! I don’t want fucking John Wayne to wake up anymore! He so fucking annoying!!”

I then took my head out, and to avoid that ever happening again, I took a gun out, pointed in the air, and shot a few bullets.

I then said out loud, “Every fucking animal that is not John Wayne, wake the fuck up!!”

well, all the animals woke up and Arrell was sort fucking pissed off at me, but when he came close to me, all the animals jumped on him.

In fact, they humped his body, while being pissed off at the same time.

Well, then I slowly walked backwards once more and I fell into a rabbits hole. When I fell, I ended up in the Everfree.
How it worked that time, I will never know, but I have a feeling it was the Chinese.

Then Wolf spotted me and said, “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

When Wolf said that, I had thought of the dream again. I wanted to stop thinking about it, but for some reason, I thought about that dream when I heard those three words.

‘There you are.’ I didn’t know what it meant, but it meant something. It had a connection to my dream somehow, but I did not know what. ‘There you are, there you are, and there you are.’

I can’t get that out of my head now, but it had a meaning to it. What did it mean is something for you to find out later.

Well, I tried to shake that feeling off again, and concentrate on the task at hand. In other words, waking up the Canadian ponies.

Ok, they were not exactly like a pony, but they were Canadian animals to me, so I cause they were Canadians, but they were not civilized citizen, but just an animal.

Well, what the animals did was slit their throats and skin them to sell on the bear black market. No wonder ponies fear the Everfree. They are afraid that they’re going to be killed slowly.

In addition, just to let you know how that little war went with the animals, the animals won against the fishes, but there were 8,000 casualties. There was also a memorial service for those who had fallen during the war.

Well, I slowly went back to Stalia. It was a little hard and I got lost a little, but I ended up on Mac’s farm. He was basically in charge of clearing the fields so he could plant the seeds and shit.

Well, he saw me and said hi and shit and I told him I wanted to help. Well, to be honest, the universe was going to make me do it anyways, and besides, he’s a redneck, and you’ve got to love those rednecks. I don’t know what I just fucking said.

Well, I got into a plow and holy fucking shit it was hard to push. I was going to use magic, but I remembered that Mac is strict when it came to using magic, I used invisible magic, where the magic was still there, but invisible.

Well, I did that, and I was controlling the plow more then what Twilight ever could have. However, the universe just had to fuck it all up by steering my plow and killing ponies and making more snow fall onto the farmland.

Well, at least I don’t have to cover up and burn the dead bodies, because ponies will think the snow killed them. Well, I crashed through the snow and ended up on the other side back in the Everfree forest.

In addition, Mac was really pissed at me with the plow and shit, since he found out that I used magic.

Speaking of other things that I forgot to tell you about is that Nixon head thing. Yes, I have to bring it up again and what happened to it. It went into that container that the Zune gave me, so whenever I use the powers, I’ll have my own personal Nixon pet.

Well, anyways, Wolf saw me go through the snow he looked mighty pissed at me.

He then said, “Knight! You are supposed to be helping us clean up winter here in the forest. Now come along, we need your help with cleaning up the snow.”

Well, I saw all the animals picking up the snow by rolling it and making it into snowballs. I rolled some snow into balls as well, but with my magic.

Here in the Everfree, the animals don’t give two shits and one flaming fuck if you use magic or not. It’s as if they are not Muslims. Of course, you must be wondering, where the fuck did, we put all the snow at in the end?

Well, we put near that black guy pony’s hut. That bitch was also pissed off, and always thought it was little fillies from Ponyville that has been doing it every year to her.

I did over hear her saying how she wants to beat the living shit out of them, but she calms down and said she will get revenge one day on them. Well, black people always do get their revenge one way or another.

In addition, it seems that the animals are quite racist.

We had some snow left over, and wolf said, “Hey! I’ve got an idea. Let’s bury the little colt over there that’s sleeping by the Everfree forest and see if he can get out or not.”

Yea, apparently, with Twilight’s help, Ponyville got done with their winter wrap up within a hour or so.

In addition, the bear talked in bear talk, and suggested something.

Wolf pretty much understood him and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why the fuck do you always want to slit someone’s throat? You are a sick fuck. That’s what you are.”

As Wolf was saying this, I had that thought about the dream again. This time, it was when Wolf said the words, ‘sleeping colt’ those two words boggled my mind for days and I still couldn’t figure out what it meant.

‘Sleeping colt, sleeping colt, sleeping colt.’ What did that word mean was something I was trying to figure out. ‘There you are’ and ‘sleeping colt’ were the two things that I had to go on, but it tortured me more then intrigue me, because I couldn’t sleep at all because of that. I do know what it means now, but for you guy’s, I gave you guys clues, so there you go.

Well, as wolf was talking to the fucked up bear, I slowly backed away. I couldn’t take the thoughts anymore. I needed to go back so I could calm down. I didn’t know what to do, but I just needed silence to figure it out.

However, Wolf saw me leaving and I heard him yell, “Dam it Knight! Why the fuck do you keep leaving!”

He then went after me; however, I was long gone before he caught up to me. I eventually got back to my own home, and locked the doors and shit. I just needed silence to think about those words.

However, the silence only made those words more meaningful to me and to the dream.

Well, eventually Wolf was looking for me around Stalia, and I saw Forest on the ground talking to Mac, saying, “Forest! we need you to melt the dam fucking snow, so we can remove the dead bodies so I can put them on Applejacks farm so she can be locked away for it.”

Then forest said, “Got it!”

Then Arrell came up to Forest and said, “Forest! I need you to not melt the snow, so I can freeze these bastard animals so they die of the cold.”

Then Forest said, “Got it… wait. Why do I smell animal semen on you?”

Then Arrell said, “Well, how do you know what animal semen smells like?”

Then Forest said, “I kind of stalked Rainbow dash for a while, and when her pet turtle, tank looks at her, he jizzs all over the place, and when I stalked her once, I was by her turtle and it jizzed in my face.”

Well, then, I always knew that fucking turtle was a pervert. I am sure that one time when he licked rainbow’s face, he came.
That and I believe that turtle is retarded, so I guess it’s alright that the turtle is doing that.

Then Wolf came over to the guys and said, “Hey! Forest! Have you seen Knight around? He needs to help me and the animals of the Everfree cleanup winter.”

Then Forest said, “Wait a second. Help you and the animals? He shouldn’t be helping you guys. He should be helping us ponies, his own kind.”

Then Wolf said, “Yea, well, you know what, he’s the fucking king of the Everfree fucking free, and he has to help us.”

Then forest said, “Wait? King of the Everfree?”

Then Wolf replied with, “Yea. He can pretty much control the animals and make them do whatever he wants them to, so he’s pretty much the king of it. That and for some reason, they bow down to him from time to time, and we made sure there was no black pony around when they bowed to us.”

Then forest said, “Oh. Well that makes a whole lot of fucking sense. But you can’t have him!”

Then they all started to complain, until the mayor stepped in, who is a weird bitch most of the time, but this time around, she was actually normal, and said, “Stop it!! I didn’t want this to happen!! I wanted this year to go perfect and be on time for spring!! I mean, there’s not a single bird nest even made, but instead there’s a whole bunch of signs that says, ‘FUCK YOU BIRDS.’ The ice has been melted over the lakes, but the lakes have been set on fire. The animals has been doing nothing but Cumming all over the place, while the clouds are only shaped into words that says, ‘we are better than Ponyville, fuck you.’ In addition, the farm has only planted dead bodies. This is the worst winter wrap up ever!”

Then Forest punched her and said while doing so, “Fuck you Bitch!!”

They then continued to argue and shit, which I then stepped in and said, “Hey!! Every pony shut the Fuck up!!! Now, I know it doesn’t matter if I help Wolf or not. What matters is that we finish winter wrap up, so we can all enjoy it. Therefore, we don’t have to live in the cold and we can enjoy the scenery of spring. So what do you guys say? I mean, please, so Twilight doesn’t have to fucking come here and ask why the fuck are there a bunch of dead fucking bodies every where? That, and if it makes you fell better, we can dump all the snow in Ponyville.”

Then Mac said, “Hey! He has a good point! ATTACK!!!!”

Then the animals and the ponies of Stalia started to fight each other, in a battle that took all day and trough Luna’s night.

Eventually, Twilight did come to check up on me once again, and she had to have her friends come and help to clean up winter, while every pony and animal in the Everfree fight to the death.

In addition, the outcome of it was 300 casualties. Wolf even had a war journal for it. The next morning, the fighting stopped, but of course I heard all of the battle throughout the night because like I said before, because of that dream, I couldn’t sleep at all.

Well, the whole town and me came together and said how proud they were for cleaning up winter, which I then thought, maybe they never noticed that Twilight and her friends came.

Then Randy fucking Newman came the fuck out of nowhere with a fucking piano and started singing winter wrap up, but in his own way.

Winter wrap up,
It’s so fine and dandy.
Winter wrap up,
Cleaning up snow and shit.
Winter wrap up,
Planting seeds for food.
Winter wrap up, is the most wonderful time of the year!!
It also means a rhino will eat up your parents!
There is also competition of cleaning up winter,
Because its preparing for spring!
So the birds can piss you off,
With their singing.
And you can enjoy the warm waters,
In the spring lakes.
And of course giant peaches can grow and shit.
While there’s talking toys,
That gets eaten up by a rhino one day.
Because its winter wrap up,
Its fine and dandy!
And your parents will be eaten up by a rhino one day!

Yea, that song was fucking annoying as shit. But then, slenderfetus came and said to me, “There you are dada! Where’s my present!?”

I then pointed to Randy Newman and said, “uhhh….. here’s your present. A Randy Newman.”

Then slenderfetus jumped up and down and grabbed Randy Newman, while saying, “Yea!!! Randy Newman!!”

He then dragged him into the Everfree forest, which sadly, he wasn’t killed, but taken to be a friend of slenderfetus. Randy newman’s last words for the time being was, “You haven’t seen the last of Newman!”

Then we all laughed at that. I mean, I laughed pretty fucking hard, because, I mean, yea right, like Newman will ever comeback and….. he does comeback.

Yea, unfortunately for us, slenderfetus never wanted to kill him. He just kept him as a pet. Yea, I would’ve called slenderfetus my son if he had killed him, but since he didn’t do it, I just continued to fucking hate him and shit, while being mentally afraid of him of course.

I mean, who wouldn’t be afraid of slenderfetus and shit. Besides, he isn’t no child of mine, because if he was, he would’ve agreed with me and killed Newman right there on the spot, but nope, so that’s not my boy.

Strange, now I’m thinking about that awful movie of that’s my boy now, with Adam Sandler. In fact, I’ve been to a universe where it was just horrible, where ‘That’s My Boy’ won the academy Award for best picture.

It was a dark universe, and If I recall, the scariest of all the universes that I have been too.

Well, after we all laughed, I went back home, along with Wolf, and the winter in the Everfree was eventually cleaned up, but it evolved in a lot of ponies getting their throats slit while they were sleeping. Don’t ask how, but those animals are fucking psychopaths I tell you.

Of course, as for the dream thing, I still had problems with it and I still could not get to fucking sleep. However, whenever I closed my eyes for a while, as in just wishing I could go back to sleep again, I see an island out in the middle of the ocean.

It also seemed like the ocean was endless and didn’t lead to nowhere at all, but only had that one island that was upon the ocean.

On the island, there’s a cliff and the beach and a arch like shape of a rock formation, along with a cave. Sitting upon the cliff, sits a castle.

I never knew what it was at first, but it was there. Of course, I see it whenever the sun is setting or it’s nighttime and the stars are out nice and bright.

I even hear a tune in my head, which seems like its heaven music or a song that would belong in heaven, because I hear a harp and violins and mostly a classical song, with a trumpets I guess.

On the beach, I see Laruen’s OC pony, just looking at the stars. I’ve always questioned that, as too why is she looking up at the stars.

I also saw a pony or a child underneath her wing. I could never make out whom the pony is, nor could I ever make a description of it, but the child is just under her wing.

They are both looking up at the stars and I cannot tell who it is. In addition, I know for one thing, it’s not Celestia or Luna, because if it was Celestia, I would’ve been able to see her, since she has a white coat and all.

With Luna, well, she has a flowing mane and I would’ve been able to spot that real easily, since its wavy and pretty much blends into the night and all.

I could also see come castle in the distances. As for what they were for, I couldn’t tell who were they were for, or who occupied them.

I even saw in the center of the island, a tower of some sort. Like a connection to the entire castles. To say, for those who all lived in those castles, they would all meet up there.

I could even hear seagulls from time to time and sometimes see them.

However, that one child still mystified me. I mean, whom it could be you might ask, well, I’ll leave that up to you for now, but it was haunting me, who was that child.

As I said, I couldn’t make out its coat color or mane or anything. It was just there, under Laruen OC pony’s wings.

Sometimes, I could even feel like that child was staring at me, as if he knew I was there, looking at him and the Alicorn.

It felt creepy in a way, but at the same time, it’s like I knew who he was, but I didn’t know who he was, because I couldn’t look at him in detail, nor do I know any pony child at all that would be most likely would be under that OC pony’s wing.

From time to time, I also saw the pony sleeping under Laruen OC’s wing. It looked like he was dreaming of good dreams, while the OC was just looking at the child.

Sometimes, those stars mystified me as well, because they looked like constellations, the ones that Twilight would be familiar with the stars.

However, the OC pony was adding to the stars and making them, well, from time to time I saw it. When I saw that happen, I saw her looking at a book, as if it with old tales and she was adding characters from those ancient tales to the skies as constellations.

Sometimes, I saw no one on the beach, as if it was abandoned, but the ponies were still there, but in the castle and sometimes, they were not there at all.

However, whenever they were not there, that cave I told you, every night, I see that cave with light in it, as if someone as fire going on inside it. In fact, I can see someone inside it.

With this one, I could make out whom it was and all I have to describe the pony was an anime character like pony or something from Japanese like character.

I could even see drawings on the walls that he made. Even he stared at me, as if I was right there also looking at him.

He just stood there and one time, he actually came up to me, raised his hoof to me, and smiled at me. He even said a few words, but I couldn’t make them out.

He knew I was there, because there was one word, however that I could make out and it was Knight. Sure, it could mean the night sky or something, but why would he be just staring at me instead up at the sky?

One time, he pointed at the castle and continued to smile. Then, after a while, at night, sometimes, he would just disintegrate and be carried off by the wind, as if he was a sprit or something. Whenever I open my eyes, after what I had seen, I’m still in my home.

Either in the basement or in the living room, sitting down at my couch while Wolf is being either molested by Molestia or sleeping with her.

while I just sit there in the dark in the front, trying to make what I had saw in that vision when I close my eyes for a while, trying to get away from those nightmares.

Therefore, I just continue to sit there and think, and sometimes, I just get scared even more from the silence in the room, then in the dreams.

(Yes, I have another alternate ending, however with this one, it’s short and sweet.)

Well, I just came back from Planet Random and I am tried as fuck. I just decided to lay there go to sleep.

However, its fucking Winter wrap up and every pony, including Wolf wants me to help, but I said fuck you to their faces and they left me be. Even the fucking universe doesn’t fuck with me, but possibly because of all the shit I’ve been through and the universe is giving me a fucking brake. Fucking good.

Well, I lay there, sleeping, however, I keep hearing complaining and it eventually gets to a fucking point, where I storm outside and yell at them to shut the fuck up.

What I did then is grab a beer bottle and a lighter, and spit the beer through the lighter, and it melted the fucking snow within seconds.

Also the ice and other shit.

I then grab a whole bunch of fucking sticks, put them by the fucking trees and said, “Here! the fucking birds can build their own fucking nests!”

As for the fucking seeds, well I am not no fucking Johnny apple fucking seed, so I just let them handle it, while go back to fucking bed. THE FUCKING END.

Episode 19: The Revenge of a Pony Who Didn't Get a Ticket

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Chapter 19: the revenge of a pony who didn’t get a ticket

Ok, I will be serious with you. I don’t know how to start off this chapter. It’s hard to explain where to start, but I guess I’ll start here.

It was a few days after Winter Wrap up and all, and the drams kept getting worse. I mean, I didn’t even try to dream, and I still couldn’t handle it.

It was almost driving me to the brink of insanity. I kept going to my basement every night and working on more weapons and shit, but I would always trot back and forth, because I couldn’t get those dreams out of my fucking head.

Even that fucking island was starting to get to me. I also kept asking to myself, why were they smiling at me. Why the fuck are they smiling at me!? I couldn’t get it out of my head.

I even started to hear voices in my head, as if I was going insane. However, those visions that I had was getting to me.

Why oh why were they fucking smiling at me. Sure, it’s not bad that they are, but what I’ve I done and who are they. It’s like if they know me. I don’t know who that anime pony is, nor did I ever meet the OC pony.

It’s like she knew me in way. I don’t know them, because I never met them in my fucking dam life. That island with that anime pony though, seemed to know whom I am, but why was he pointing to that dam fucking castle. Why!?

Was there something there for me? Did it hide a secret that I needed to find. Was Lauren trying to guide me?

I kept asking many questions that needed answer. Who are they and why were they coming to my dreams or whenever I close my eyes every time?

However, that island though, I saw something like that, or a similar feeling that I had towards something like that when I was a child.

When I was about four or five, I was clueless to this world. I questioned everything, but I also had dreams and fantasies as well. I never imagined that island, but I feel like it had a connection to my childhood in Japan.

I mean, I was born an air force brat, and of course my dad was always away at bases and I was in Japan, and it seemed like that fucking island has something to do with everything.

That stars as well, as if it had some kind of connection to me. What were they and I just never understood. In addition, that mother fucking child.

Who was he dam it!? Who was he!? He keeps looking at me, as if he expects me to do something say something, but what am I supposed to do.

Even Wolf at the time was starting to get worried about me. I mean, I was going to the basement every dam night, night sleeping at all, working on shit, while trotting back and forth talking to myself.

Even Molestia noticed this and offered me to molest me so I could relax, but I just ignored them. Ignored them as if they didn’t existed and if talked them, I would see myself as a crazy pony.

Therefore, Wolf and Molestia just doesn’t bother me at all. I was even considering going to Twilight about this. I was also thinking Celestia as well, but I knew it wouldn’t end well, because I see her and Luna in my dreams.

As with Twilight, I pushed that idea aside, because I know it won’t end well with her either, because she’ll get Celestia involved.

So I just continued to ramble on and talking to myself to calm me down. Sometimes, I go dead silence, but whenever that happens, the room is nothing but pure silence.

In addition, when that happens, I hear voices in my head. I then just yell and scream at the top of my lungs, telling those voices to stop.

At one point, I went so mad, that I destroyed a few years worth of work down in my basement.

Sometimes, I hear this song in my head, and it sounds like its being singed, but I can’t make out the words to it. However, the tone and the melody of it were familiar to me. It went something like this.
(Note: I couldn't find the song melody, without giving the lyrivs away. so, you'll just find out in the end of the chapter what it is.)

At the time, I couldn’t remember what it was, but it was a tune that I remember what my parents singed to me when I was merely but a child.

For some reason, when I heard just the melody to it, it calmed me down. It was soothing actually and I had a smile on my face when I heard it.

I even felt like someone close to me was singing it, trying to keep me safe, as if I matter to this certain person or pony. I really couldn’t tell anymore.

That song helped me so much, I even came up with an idea to help me with the dreams. It wouldn’t get rid of the dreams, however, it would keep my thoughts off it and help me relax and make me forget it even exists.

At the time, I came up with this idea when it was nighttime and I was in the living room. I quickly ran to my basement to start working on it, and I did the math and everything and I started a machine that would make the stuff for me.

Of course, it was going to be in a syringe, but it was going to work. However, right after I started the machine and the machine got to work, the dreams returned.

I kept mumbling to myself, but it ended because TK was in the room. I remember those exact words he had said to me.
He said, “Knight. Knight! Knight!! Knight!!!”

I then turned my attention over to TK and he told me to calm down. He then said to me, “Listen Knight, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it seems like you can handle it. now, I’ve tried to trace back TF’s transmission device back to its origins back in Manehatten. However, I was unable to pick up the signal. I’ve tried every fucking possible way and I failed to do so. However, there might be a slight chance I might be able to pick it up, but I need the TV or the signal that was used to broadcast the message to you. I was able to pick up what type of signal it was used on it seemed to be ok when it was in the explosion, so it should still be there. I need you to go to Manehatten and try to find the signal device.”

I was about to go up stairs and tell Wolf of what I had to do, but then TK stopped me before I could continue and said, “and Knight. I know you’ve not been doing so well lately. Even Wolf told me what you’ve been doing, but you need to get your head back into the game. We might be able to find where TF escaped. I still will never know who he escaped those demons when I saw him. Good luck Knight.”

TK then went back to hell so he can continue his work, while I go on my journey to Manehatten. I walked upstairs to back something’s, because I was going on my own this time. I mean, it was meant to be a quick visit back to the place where Factory Dash and I almost died.

I grabbed my satchel or that thing that Indiana Jones has. Yea, I have that thing. Yea, I forgot to mention that when I first wrote this story of my life and the adventures of the universe and shit.

Besides, I didn’t really need the satchel right away, nor did I used it, so there was no point in writing it down. However, I only use the satchel for things like this. If it’s around Stalia, I don’t have it on me, but if its anywhere else, I have it on me, just in case an old enemy of mine attacks are where my help is needed, I have all the shit that I fucking need in there.

In addition, that syringe was quite ready yet, but it would be when I got back for Manehatten. I just had to take it easy when I went to Manehatten and don’t let those dreams and thoughts get to me.

I then went upstairs to notify Wolf that I was going to be gone for a while. I saw him being molested by Molestia and he was moaning and shit. I mean, he was spraying timber wolf cum everywhere, but Molestia cleans that up with her mouth and… Are any of you starting to get a weird boner right now? I know I shouldn’t ask and besides, this isn’t a clopfic and all, but a story of my life, and this is what happened and as I am writing this in my room at the castle in Cantorlot (that’ll be explain later) I have a pretty weird boner right now as you are reading this. I mean, Molestia doing a pony and a timber wolf.

That’s just interesting. I mean, she cleaned that cum up with her mouth and she enjoyed every bit of it and… Ok what the fuck am I fucking doing right now!!?

This is a story about my life and the adventure I had in the universes and shit. not Wolf or Molestia having sex. Although, I’m afraid to say, there will come a chapter where there’s plenty of sex and shit, to where it would be a clop chapter.

Well, for those sick fucks out there who are bored about my awesome life story, you’ll get a good kick out of it then, you sick fucks. But then again, if we’re all having boners right now and…. Ok let’s just move on.

Well, when I came in Molestia and Wolf saw me and asked if I was ok. I said yes and told them where I was going and Molestia offered me a private uhhhhh. Sex or molestiation ….. I don’t have a fucking clue what you call it. Its sex so whatever.
Something that’s supposed to make me spray my fucking cum. Well, I was about to say no, but I said, “Yea. I do want one before I go.”

Then wolf said, “Well that’s fine with me. I’m all out of cum right now, I go downstairs, and smoke some weed while you two are doing it up here. I’ll also play that fucking record we have of buffalo soldier while I’m doing it.”

Wolf then left and closed the door so Molestia and I could have some privacy. Molestia gestured me to lie down on the bed so we could started with the sex and the blowjobs and the molesting.

I then laid down and she started to slowly……. My god. what the fuck have I become? Whatever, we just did it in the bedroom, but I guess for you cloppers out there.

I mean, I know you people will have your fun once in the future, but I don’t want you to be like saying clopper related things and being hyped on that kind of shit and saying my life story is a waste of fucking time.

So, where was I, all right. Molestia did me and we’ll go into details much later about that. Then again, I guess I should include it, since this story isn’t for kids.

In addition, if little kids are reading this, then shame on your parents you little fucker. Then again, how would you find this book anyway from the MLP universe?

Then again, I would just send it to the earth universe after I’m done, but keep a copy of this for myself and hope some people would read this. I mean, I’m currently writing this at Cantorlot Castle, in my room by fucking candle light, and frankly, I have no fucking clue what the fuck I’m saying right now. Let’s move on.

Therefore, after Molestia did me, I went down stairs, it was around three o’ clock at night, and I decided to leave.

Wolf asked me why I was going then and I told him, “Well I can get to Manehatten by morning if I leave now.”

Then Wolf asked, “Wait? Isn’t Twilight in Manehatten? Visiting the mayor and shit?”

I then said, “Yea, but she won’t give a flaming fuck. I mean, she doesn’t know half of the fucking adventures that I had so far. Like planet random or winter wrap up or the hangover adventure one, or the others that happened to me. So see you wolf. Also, by the way, Molestia was very excellent in bed tonight.”

Then Wolf said, “Yea, she’s been practicing. That and she’s always like that if you get her in the right mood. Well, see yea. Also, pick up more beer while you out. We need more.”

I then said, “Will do.”

I then left to go to Manehatten.

I walked for about three hours or so and I saw the sun rose up into the sky, as the moon felled into the deep blue while I was walking. I do have to admit, even though Celestia is a fucking troll, she can sure make a sunrise look fucking amazing.

Well, I was walking along my path, when I came up to a carriage, with ponies that looked like they were guarding it. I could even see the leader.

I walking and I were going to bypass them, until the leader of the group stopped me and asked, “Hey! Aren’t you that pony? That pony who’s a personal student for Celestia?”

I then said, “Yes. So what?”

He then said, “oh nothing. I just never get to meet famous or slightly famous ponies that much. It’s a great honor to meet you, because I’ve heard stories about you once in Cantorlot.”

I then asked, “You have?”

I mean, I know I was somewhat well known in Cantorlot and all, but not really much heard of outside of Cantorlot. Then again, if you remember that one guy that I said he was sort of a friend to me, but not really.

Well, maybe that could’ve been him and shit, but I knew something was up, because when Twilight went to Ponyville, no one knew she was a personal student and shit.

The leader then continued, “of course. Almost everyone has heard of you. So, where you headed?”

I then said, “Riiiiiiiight. I’m headed towards Manehatten. I’m be leaving you now.”

I still had a suspicious look on my face as I continued to walk to Manehatten.

I then over heard them, but using walkie-talkies, which I was still blown away by that, so of course something was up. I heard him say, “That student is headed towards your trap boss. We’re make sure he gets there safely and we send the big guy out. then you can give us our pay.”

I then heard on the other side, “good. I’ll see that you get paid once I’m done with him.”

Then that leader guy put that fucking walkie- talkie thingy magic away.

Well, it isn’t exactly a walkie talkie, but it’s similar, so what the fuck am I supposed to fucking call it. Although, you must wonder, how a pony invents this stuff, but yet, doesn’t share with the world.

I mean, a fucking pony could make a shit load of fucking money with those devices. I mean, I could even make a shit load of fucking money with my inventions.

Well, whatever, doesn’t really fucking mater and shit fuck….let’s just fucking continue the story.

I was walking towards Manehatten and I kept hearing that melody tune in my head as I walked. I then want to go back to hearing voices in my head and trotting back and forth all day.

At the time, I was still trying to figure out the song. I knew it from somewhere, but I couldn’t put a hoof on it. It seemed to be a song from my past.

From my childhood hat, my parents would sing to me every night. Then again, my father would always sing that poor meatball one and it’s on top of a hill and shit.

Forgot what’s that song called. Then again, I’m over …. Well, by then I was over fifty-seven-thousand years old of age.

Well, I tried to figure it out, but no cigar, but I ended up in Manehatten.

For Manehatten, it was decent, but of course, you have the new Yorkers shit fuckers. I mean, there’s the rich French snobs and the hobos.

Speaking of hobos, I actually created a character called Yobo the hobo and strangely enough, he was in this universe, well, a version of himself.

It’s hard to explain. Yobo saw me and just said, “Hey buddy!! How’s it been since my universe got fucking destroyed!?” He also said that in a drunk voice.

I then said, “Yobo? Aren’t you supposed to be in my universe, well, at least when it got destroyed?”

He then said, “well, yes, but I fucking escaped and I found this universe.”

I then asked him, “but that’s fucking impossible. This universe wasn’t even opened. How did you get through?”

He then said, “I don’t fucking know. Three guys in ropes opened the portal and told me to stay here until you came.”

I then asked, “Three man in ropes? Whom the fuck are you talking about? No one else knows about off the grid except for me, TK, Factory Dash, TF, and apparently Neon.”

He then said, “I don’t fucking know, but this place with talking Technicolor ponies is great. You don’t even have to get high to see them.”

He then looked up and said, “Oh look, a piano.”

He then was killed by the piano that was accidently dropped on him. So yea, there goes a missing character of mine that I didn’t know that he was here in the first place.

In addition, about those three guys, I found out what he was talking about, but it will sound a little weird when I explain to you guys in the future.

Well, I then trotted towards the place where that explosion happened that one night, when Jack and Mac came over for a sleepover.

I then walked into the damaged place and even though its only has been a fucking week since the sleepover instant, it was still an investigation site.

Apparently, either there was retards working the scene or they are obsessed fuckers. Well, I got both of that right, because next to me was an overweight pony, who was a retard.

No wonder he was obsessed. Maybe he couldn’t read the number of how many Twinkies he’s supposed to eat. One package, not 500.

He then told me in a very slow voice in a retarded way, “Hey you. Get away from there, or I’ll have to come over there and…. Uhhhhh….. fuck it. I don’t feel like walking three feet to you. I’ll catch you one day criminal scum.”

He slowly rolled away from me.

I went deeper into the creator of the explosion and actually found the device I was looking for. Well, I almost had it, when a robotic foreleg smashed it to tiny pieces.

I slowly looked up and it seemed to be a robotic pony that was being controlled by voice command and shit. it then grabbed me by the neck and was about to knock me out, until I hit it with some acid that I appeared to have in my satchel and shit.

I honestly don’t know why I have acid in my bag, but it was there. Now, the fucking acid didn’t destroy the robot’s face, but only stunned it for a few seconds, which its grasp was loosened around my neck.

I then looked at my surroundings and found a way up to the top of the buildings.

I started to climb metal ladders and kept stumbling around, because apparently, fucking Boston people don’t know what to fucking do and shit.

I eventually got to the top and was looked for the robot. I was over the edge, checking to see where he was and he was nowhere in sight.

Then I thought too soon, which he put his hoof on the roof and started to chase me. I mean, this robot seemed advantage and shit. I then started to run, which required me to jump from rooftop to roof top.

Fortunately enough for me, the roof tops were small enough jumping distances to jump to. In fact, I was able to lose the robot guy. Until my dreams came rushing back in, and I yelled saying no, this grabbed the robots attention and was going to fucking kill me.

I then tried to run, but I couldn’t with the thoughts on my mind, but I sat against a metal box to calm down quickly and tried to remember the melody to that one song.

It calmed me down and I was able to run again. The robot guy was not too far on the trail and shit, to which I was about to jump to the next roof top.

Unfortunately, there was no more roofs. Instead, there were the streets of Manehatten. I looked down, and decided to say fuck it and jumped down.

Well, for me, I jumped right in front of Twilight.

She was surprised I jumped from the roof and asked, “Knight? What are you doing here?”

I was about to say something, but then the robot guy jumped down behind me and tried to punch me in the face, but I ducked, but the robot left a hole in the brick wall.

I then ran into the streets of Manehatten. I kept running and trying to avoid obstacles, but the robot guy was still hot on my trail.

I then turned to another street, to which I found a shit load of uhhhh. Cabs I guess you would call them, but the ones for the rich.

I then decided to get into one, but keep moving in and out of the things, so the robot would be confused of where I was. I eventually got into a taxi that was had rich people in it.

They said to me, “Who the blazes are!? Get out this instance!”

I then replied to those idiot bastards, “Yea, that’s going to be bit of a problem for me.”

Then that rich pony guy continued to complain about me and said, “I demand this dam instance that you get out right now, I’ll shall call the guards on you!”

I was like ‘ooooooooooo’ he said the word dam. So fucking what!? I say the fucking F-bomb almost a thousand times a day, and I’m not exaggerating on that part either.

I actually had a counter once and recorded how many times I said the word ‘fuck’ or a form of the word ‘fuck’ and it came down to about a thousand.

Then the bitch right next to him, which was possibly a whore, said, “Dear!! Do not use such profanity!”

I then stared at them blankly, just thinking of how I cursed so fucking much. I mean, I’m pretty sure by now, this book i’m writing of my life, has over 700 F-bombs. I’m pretty fucking sure it has over a thousand fucks in it as you are reading.

I then returned to see if the robotic suit thing was coming and he was coming very close. In fact, he was coming way.

Well, I then took the old bastaruds top hat from him, said, ‘fuck you,” right in his face.

I then escaped and watched as the robot punched through the taxi thing and made a hold through it. I then knew what happened next.

The robotic thingy looked inside and was ready to kill me with a automatic gun on its shoulder. Well, like I said before, I fucking escaped and all it saw was the rich douce and the bitchy wife of the rich doucebag.

The rich douce said, “does anyone in this bloody town has any manners at all!! Has this town gone nuts!!!”

Then he got out calmly and looked around for me, while I blended into the crowed with a fucking classy top hat on. I then walked around and felt like shit.

That and the dream was starting to come back to me. I couldn’t get the melody in my head at the time and Luna’s moon was about to rise and shit, so I decided to hit a local bar or pub.

Well, technically, there were no wizards there, since all fucking wizards are all British people.

Well, I thought maybe some beer could help me get the melody back. I mean, when you’re drunk anything is possible I mean, even killing your mother and father on the road.

Now, depending on how you say mother and father, you might be a Jew, and I might’ve done zombie Hitler a favor.

Well, I was at the pub, all tired and shit and I sat at the bat table or where the fucking bar tender works at. He asked me what I fucking wanted and I said tequila.

Well, tequila is the best liquor to go by when tired or fucking depressed as fuck. I mean, when I wasn’t going to sleep at night with the dreams and all, I would either be in the living room, listing to old classic country songs or in the basement with dead silence while drinking tequila and shit.

Well, the bar tender gave me a glass, which I then said to him, “dude!? What the fuck!!? You goanna give me just a small glass? Give me the dam bottle!!”

Then a random stallion behind me said, “He’s right!! Why don’t we get the bottle you son of a mother fucking bitch!!?”
Then there was a crowd that said behind him, “yea!”

Then the bar tender said, “well, for obvious reasons. One, you could hurt somebody when you go home. Two, it’s the city law that I don’t give you the entire bottle right away, and three, its fucking expensive. Its 20 bits per bottle.”

Then the random stallion said “Revolution!!!!”

Then every pony started to kill each other in the bar, where I just went behind the counter and grabbed all the tequila bottles there was.

I then sneaked through out of the bar fight and went to the really dark alley way that has one dim light bulb by the door to the bar.

I just sat there next to a dead hobo’s body while drinking my shit. I even talked to him, saying, “Know what dead hobo body. I know we just met, but you are my best friend. You want some tequila?”

Then a random pony was tossed through the door way and into the dark alley that I was at and he got up and went back into the fight.

I then said to the dead hobo body, “don’t mind them Mr. dead hobo body. They are just assholes. You have any weed on you? No, wait, hobos have crack. But you’re not a black guy pony. Maybe black hobos have crack? But then what does white hobo’s have? Maybe heroine? I think they can smoke AIDS. Got any AIDS I can smoke?”

Then I heard a pony running towards the dark alley and then was tackled by some gang of ponies. They then started to beat the living shit out of the pony, while I just watched.

Well, I was drunk and talking a dead hobo’s body, why not? Then, the pony that was beating the other pony to a bloody pulp killed him and he looked at me and said, “Wait a second. I know you. You're that guy!!!”

He was then about to take out a walkie -talkie, but I punched him in the stomach before he could reach for the thing.
Well, I am sober when it comes to combat.

I then punched his legs until one of them was broken and slammed his head against the brick wall until he was almost dead.

When it was about to a point where his noise was bleeding and he couldn’t see straight, I stopped and asked him, “Who are you!? What do you want from me !?”

Unfortunately, the pony passed out, but I found a club card.

Yes, you see, the club card seemed to be a clue for me to go to, so maybe I could find some answers there.

Then out of fucking nowhere, two guards came up to me and said, “Hey! Did you kill that pony!?”

I then stared at them for a bit and then pointed to the dead hobo body.

To which what then happened was that the guards then took the dead hobo body and said, “You coming with us!”

as they were taking the dead hobo body away, his head was looking at me and I said, “I’m sorry dead hobo body. Please forgive me.”

Before I went to the club, I went back inside the bar to get a few beers for on the way over to the club. When I went inside, the fight was still going strong, except a little bit of the fight was taken outside and it was starting to get bloody and the guards were even being killed.

I looked for the beers, and lucky for me, they had Irish beer. Irish beer is always the best to drink when in a fight.

I then went outside to go to the club. With the fight outside, it was a little hard to doge the attacks from other ponies, because it was starting to get to be a battle then a simple everyday bar fight.

Then, a little colt stood in the middle of the fighting area and started to sing. He was singing that one song from Les Miserable’s; the ‘I dreamed a dream song.’

(keep in mind, the vieo is there so you can compare with my parody lyrics and the actual lyrics.)

There was a time when ponies were high
And those ponies were dying of cancer
There was a time when all Zebras had AIDS
And the ponies laughed at them and didn’t even help them
There was a time for everything
But then it all went right.
I dreamed a dream that AIDS had gone by
When our alcohol levels were high
And we all partied hard.
I dreamed that Asians would never die
I dreamed that guy over there would stop looking at me
Then I was a littler fucker, and an asshole
Some dreams were fucked and latterly fucked by a scootaloo.
Wasted and high
Italians gave me a ransom.
No turkey under cooked.
No fucks wasted at all
But the tiger fucks the moon at night
And their roars that’s fucks birds
As cats fly through space while rainbows come out of their asses
As they turn your dream into AIDS
He touched me in the no-no place on my pony dick
He filled my dreams with happiness and fear
Michael Jackson fucked me!
But he was gone when I woke up in his bed
When a turkey fucked a horse
And still I dream that Robert Downy Jr. will gang bang my ho’s
That I will fuck a lion
But there are dreams that cannot be
Like being freed from Robin Williams basement
Or a thunder cloud killing a pony named Obama.
Or possibly doing cocaine with Whitney Huston’s dead body
And giving cancer with Willie Nelson’s horse.
I had a dream that my life would be 20% cooler
So different from this fight I’m living in
So different now, from what it seems
Now, OJ Simpson killed the dream with a knife.

I was really surprised that that little boy knew who Willie Nelson was. I thought that generation had forgotten poor old Willie.
Nice to know he’s making a comeback with ponies.

In addition, after the little kid singed, a drunken Irish pony knocked him out.

When I saw that, I raised a hoof in the air and said to him, “Long live Irish ponies!”

He had a big smile on his face and also raised his hoof in the ir, but was tackled by a guard. That was my cue to get the fuck out of here.

I then searched high and low for the club, which the club name was the Nightclub. Nice name by the way for a club.

Well, eventually I found it and of fucking course, there was a line to get into the place. I could’ve gotten in, but I would need to have either Twilight with me, or a bunch of drunken hoes with me that do cocaine.

Because, you know? If you want to get into a club, you need hot chicks with you. I really wished Twilight could’ve been here, and luck was on my side, because Twilight was with her guards and she founded me.

She told her guards to back off and told them to go back home and she trotted up to me.

She then said to me, “Knight? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be back in Stalia?”

I then continued to stare at her, and keep in mind, I had finally figured out that Twilight had that crush on me, and I just stared at Twilight.

I was thinking of what to do.

Eventually, my brain told me to do, ‘Knight. Just listen and listen well. You might not have a crush on Twilight, but this might work. Tell Twilight that you want to hang out and go to the club. Then get her drunk and then figure out who is trying to kill you. Then, return Twilight safely back to her hotel room, or where ever the fuck she is staying at in Manehatten. Besides, along as she doesn’t try to make a move on you by trying to fuck you or give you any kind of pleasure at all, you’ll be good. Now go and ask her Knight.’

I continued to look at Twilight and she continued to look at me, and I do wonder what she was thinking me at the time.

‘Knight is so handsome and hot. He’s also very smart and so lovely.

However, he’s a fool at the same time, smokes weed, and gets drunk. Almost every night. However, he’s my fool. My sweet lovable fool.

I hope he notices me and he asks me on a date! That would be so wonderful! Then if our relationship was good, then we could kiss and then start having sexual intercourse.

I don’t know why other ponies call it sex. I know its short, but it’s not by the book. Then we could have kids of our very own.
In addition, spike and Wolf could be good friends when he moves in with me if that time ever comes.

Although, I don’t know how well it will work out, since Princess Celestia is planning on making him into an Alicorn if he passes the test. Oh it doesn’t matter. Along as we’re together, it doesn’t matter at all!’

Why do I feel like Twilight was thinking of fucking me and was really want me to date her? Although, the question is, why did she want me?

I mean, she can have any other stallion she wants, but she chooses me instead. I don’t know.

The way that I do it, is that I will never understand women, nor will man ever understand them. In other words, don’t question them.

That makes some sense. However, I can’t help but feel to question Twilight’s love for me, because why?

Who knows, maybe it’s her hormones or something. Definitely not her period, because she would be piss at me then loving me.

I don’t know. I guess don’t question women, because we men will never ever understand them. It’s sort of like the question of the meaning of life. We will never understand 42, other than making it our heads explode if we were to understand that number.

Well, I then said to Twilight, “Hey! Twilight, I’ve got an idea. Since we’re both here in Manehatten and we both seem to have some time on our hands, why don’t we just, you know, hang out. We could walk into the Night Club and have a drink or two and possibly dance perhaps?”

I also said that with an overused creepy smile that made me looked like I was nervous.

Twilight then had a smile on her face with a sparkle in her eyes, and she said this, “oh I would love to do that with you Knight. It has been a while since us, as good friends had spent any time with each other.”

I do wonder what was she was thinking when she said yes.

‘Yes!! It’s all ready happening. He’s asking me out on a date! Well, it’s not really a date, but only to hang out with him.
However, it’s like a date, since we’re going to spend some time together. Oh this so wonderful! It’s all coming together.

He might even ask me out on another date later on. Maybe he will call it a date even. Although, if we kiss, then that means I would have to have him over at my parent’s house so my parents could meet him.

Oh, this is all going according to plan. Oh, only if I could tell some pony about this. If this night goes well, then I could tell my friends and it will be great.’

Ok now, I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable right then and there. However, I shrugged it off and Twilight and I went towards the door.

When the security guy saw us, he kneeled down and lets us pass right on through.

When we went in, those bitchs that take the coats when you enter one of those types of clubs even kneeled down to Twilight, and asked why she was here.

Twilight response was, “oh. Don’t worry about us. I’m here on a date…. I mean to hang out with my friend Knight.”

She even had a nervous smile on her face.

She even looked at me since she accidentally said date, which I then thought, ‘well then. I guess my feelings were right then. well, I just have to figure out a way to knock her out and make sure she doesn’t hate me when I knock her out with a syringe or reifies I guess.

Alternatively, that type of medicine that doctors use to knock out their patients, so they can steal all of their shit from their wallets, give them AIDS and possibly Malaria, and take a shit on their face.

Whatever, I just have to do that, find the guy, return Twilight safely back to her stay at whatever Hotel she is staying at, and kill this pony who is trying to kill me.

Why do I think these long thoughts out? I’m a really fast thinker aren’t I. I wonder if I can sing I’m blue in my head.

‘’ I’m blue dabadeedabdadedabade. Dabadedabadadabadedbada. I have a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the color of all that I wear. Blue are the streets and the tress are too. I have a girlfriend and she is so blue. Blue are the people here that walk around, blue like my corvette, it’s in and outside. Blue are the words I say and what I think. Blue is the feelings that live inside me. ‘’

That was fun to do in my head. Maybe I could do some other random 80’s song that people might have forgotten.

‘’ talking away I don’t know what I’m to say I’ll say it anyway. Today isn’t my day to find you. Shying away. I’ve been coming for your O.K. ‘’

Man, the 80’s songs were almost always about love isn’t it. Wait a second. How do I remember that song? I mean, I’m over fifty-seven thousand years old, and I somehow remember that song. It seems that I would forget about it.

Then again, there is that one song that I will never get out of my head, which was when I got rick-rolled on you tube.

‘’ Were no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I. A full commitments what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy. I just want to tell you how I feeling, gotta make you understand. Never gonna give you up never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. ‘’

That was so fucking annoying back on earth and I want to kill those who fucking Rick- Rolled me. Those trolling fuckers. Wait a second. Why the fuck am I still thinking in my thoughts.

I have to get serious here and knock Twilight out so I can find the guy who could be a possible lead to finding the pony who wants me dead. Then again, it was fun to think those thoughts, except for the rick rolled part. Well, whatever, I really don’t give a fuck anyway. I wonder why no pony even questioned are trying to talk to me and…. Wait, we are walking.’

Yea, I thought that thought for very long, and for some reason, I didn’t notice that Twilight and I were walking to the bar. I didn’t even noticed that.

However, when I got back home, I opened up a little portal that let me go back, I was curious of what the bitch and Twilight was talking about while I was doing nothing.

Well, as I was staring off into deep space and singing those lyrics in my head, the bitch said or more like asked to Twilight, “but your majesty. I don’t mean to be mean or anything, but why him? Why are you on a date with a low class stallion, where you can have any other boyfriend of your choosing who is more to your level?”

Twilight didn’t get mad of course, and simply said, “it’s hard to explain. Besides, he’s the personal student of Celestia.”

The bitch then told Twilight, “He’s a personal student!? Therefore, by technical standards, he’s a little bit of royalty then. Well then, I’m sorry to hold you up on talking with you. Please, continue what was that you were doing.”

We then walked past her, which I seemed to follow Twilight without even noticing. That is somewhat fucking creepy.

In addition, when we entered on the dance floor, or the main room of the Night Club, no one even noticed that a princess was here. Either they were too drunk or too high to notice. Let’s get back to when I finally realized what the fuck I was doing.
Well, I was looking around and there was a rave going on. There was even lighted floors and bunch of ponies just having a good time. I think there was even a disco ball on the ceiling.

There was also some kick-ass music going on in the background. However, I recognize familiar kick-ass music from Earth. In fact, it was fucking Daft Punk.

I then remembered something when I was at the private school with Celestia back in my Cantorlot days, which I will talk about another time.

You see, there was this one time right after I had cast a spell on Wolf so he could talk. Well, Celestia was so surprised and proud of me of doing such a amazing spell and creating one right away, she even told Luna and Twilight, along with some other important ponies that do school shit for the academy.

Well, unfortunately, I rather threw a party in one of the main rooms, and I was the DJ. I was playing the beats from the Daft punk songs, which was around the world/ harder better faster stronger remix.

In addition, I casted a spell onto myself that gave me the power to speak in an electronic voice while singing the song.

Yea, when Celestia walked in with Luna and Twilight the others, it was good. I’ll tell that story another time. However, right then, I was surprised that somehow, my music from the academy got out and was playing at clubs.

In fact, the DJ’s looked like the two who play the Daft Punk shit. You know those people who have robot masks for heads.
Well, they were playing ‘television rules the nation/ that Mexican festival song that I don’t know the name to.’

It was fucking badass. In addition, I had a Hugh smile on my face. Even though these ponies didn’t know what the fuck television was, they still enjoyed it. Just hope Daft Punk doesn’t come here and sue the ponies.

However, that was the first song at first, but as soon as Twilight and I got to the bar, they started playing that one song that was also a mash up with dead mouse.

Well, l we got to the bar and we couldn’t get the bar tender out exact attention and Twilight was willing to go and order the drinks, but I simply said, “please Twilight. I offered to take you out, so let get the drinks. Besides, it’s the gentlecolt thing to do.”

As I was walking away to get the drinks, I just wanted to punch myself so hard in the face just for saying that. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be a gentleman from time to time, but this wasn’t that high class type bar, where they play big band music.

This was a fucking dance electronic club. Besides, I needed to slip the drugs into her drink without her noticing it.

I went to the bar and he asked, “You with Princess Twilight?”

I then said, “Well, yes. How come you didn’t come over there to serve us?”

Then the bar tender said to me, “well, because I have polio and frankly, I have a monkey on my back that’s going to give me the AIDS any second now if I don’t disarm this bomb he has given me. So I’m kind of busy at the moment, but you can fix the drinks for you two.”

Then he talked to the monkey, which was, “now monkey who started the AIDS, why do you have a kinife to my throat?”
Then the monkey said to the bat tender, “I want you to get Cancer!!!”

Then the guy asked, “what kind of cancer?”

Then the monkey said, “Pony Cancer!!! Then I want you to fuck this ape right next you!!!”

Surprisingly, there was ape right next to him that I didn’t even noticed. In addition, it seemed like I was telling a bad joke to you guys.

Well, I then got behind the bar and fixed the drinks. I had Tequila, because, you know, you can never have enough tequila. I mean, it’s the illegal Mexican drink, the greatest invention by the illegal Mexicans, ever since they created the taco.

For Twilight, I fixed her a martini and slipped some reifies in it.

I then went back to Twilight with the drinks, and happily took her martini and drunk it. After her first slip, she was knocked out cold.

I mean, I only put a tiny bit of the drug into her drink, so I don’t overdose it. Then again, do reifies even knock you out?

I think I might have given her something else that I don’t know of. Maybe I should have checked the bottle at the time.

After I finish writing my life story down, or at least this chapter of my life story, I have to check in with Twilight and see if she experienced anything that might have been related to the drug that I gave her.

Well, I then told the bar tender, to which the monkey and ape was gone, to keep an eye on Twilight while I was gone looking for the guy that I had to go look for.

In addition, when I went up to the bat tender, he said, “well. I killed the monkey and the ape and I believe I’m going to go to jail now, or at least in the town anyway, for killing an animal that was endangered. Oh well, I had a good life. I always knew my life would end with a guy raping me and jail. Maybe I can kill myself by chocking on the pony’s dick that I am forced to suck. On the other hand, I can just kill myself right now and get over with it. Fuck it; I’ll take the jail thing.”

Then I said, “I’m not going to ask what the fuck is wrong with you. Listen, can you watch over Princess Twilight while I do something?”

He then said, “Sure. Just put her in the pile of other women that were drugged and put there so their boyfriends can fuck other chicks.”

I then saw where he pointed with his hoof and there was a pile of women who were passed out from drugs.

Then I saw a stallion who looks like the forever alone meme and was a nerd and was about to touch one of the women and the bartender grabbed a blunt object with his hooves and said, “Hey! What the fuck did I tell you!!Do not rape the women!! Can’t you read the sign!?”

The nerd pony then ran away as fast as fuck and looked like a nerd guy that would be if light was shined on him right after playing World Of Warcraft for three years straight.

The nerd pony even hissed at the bar guy. I then put Twilight over at the pile, even thought there are some chances that she will be raped, but come on.

She was already raped by spike if you recall. I wouldn’t be surprised if spike had followed us and he went rape Twiight again, which was what happened.

Yes, Spike followed us and raped Twilight again the bar. I’m so surprised that the bar tender didn’t even noticed that.

Well, after I spike doing what he was doing with Twilight, I slowly backed away and went to look for a guy that could possibly help me.

I then walked away from the rape scene.

I then thought, ‘wait a second. Who the fuck am I even looking for!?’

I should have had thought it threw, however, luck was on my side, because I recognized that leader pony from earlier before.

He was sitting in his little private booth area, pimping with his bitches. Of course, he had security guards with him as well.

However, I said fuck it, since I could easily kick their asses. As I was walking up to the leader guy, he saw me, while he had his cool shades on and he even smiled at me.

I got to the security guy and broke several of his bones and kicked his ass. I then was about to walk up to the leader pony, until that robotic pony thingy jumped from down onto the coffee table that stood in the little private area.

Apparently, he was at a balcony above the area and was looking right at me. I then said, to myself, “Well, shit fuck.”

The robotic pony thingy then was about to punch me into the ground, but I dogged swiftly. I was then near the DJ and then they both looked at me.

I then said to them, “Hey. If you’re going to stare at me and watch me fight, can you at least play robot rock?”

Then one of them said, “Why of course. We do have to thank you for making this awesome music and all.”

I then said to them, “you’re very much welcomed.”

Then the robotic thingy was pointing a gun at me and shooting at me, but of course, I dogged the bullets, while having robot rock playing in the background.

then the robot got near me and I started to throw a few punches, but fucking dam! It hurt like a mother fucker!

The robot then was about to use its flamethrower on me, to whom I then quickly got behind the counter as quick as I could before it could, set me on fire.

I then hid behind the counter, seconds away from the robot coming behind with me and killing me.

However, within those seconds, I then paused for a moment, or like that Holmes a vision in those Sherlock Holmes movies, and thought for a moment.

I thought that when I punched the robot, it was hard. Several materials could be hard.

Such as diamond, gold, silver and other such known metals. Then of course, I then thought that robots were mate of metal of course, and how do you destroy metal?

You turn it into to liquid or liquefy it, by using fire. I then saw a match and surprisingly a hairspray can right next to me. I then took the match and…. You see where this is going.

When the robot was right at the counter top, I slowly came up, and lit that mother fucker on fire. Of course, it didn’t hurt at first, but then, he started to slowly melt.

Well, not everything melted, of course the wires to the robot was fucking up and the other shit was being destroyed and shit, but he was melting all together.

As soon as I was finished with the fucking robot, I looked at the leader pony guy and he was about to run away, until I caught up to him, and interrogated him.

I then yelled right in his face, “Tell me who the fuck sent you!! Who the fuck sent you to fucking kill me!!?”

He then said, “aright! All right! I’ll tell you. I can’t tell you the name, but I can tell you where he works at. His hideout is the abandoned electrical plant down on south ST. that’s all I know. I swear to Celestia that’s all I fucking know!”

I then said to him, “Pray you never see me again.”

I then let him go and I forgot to metion, that when I started to fight, everybody ran away. In addition, at the women pile, some women were taken when the fight started with the robot and Spike was no longer here.

I then put a hoof on Twilight and use a spell to look into Twilight’s memory, so I could find out where she was staying at.

Apparently, it’s the main attraction Hotel of Manehatten. It was a rich fancy hotel and all, filled with French snooty ponies.

Well, I then grabbed Twilight an teleported to her room, which surprisingly had no guards in it and all.

I checked to see if I was in her room and I was, because Spike was masturbating and Spike looked at me.

He then said, “Hey. What uhhhhhhh…… what are you doing?”

I then said to him, “nothing. I saw you rape Twilight for a second time.”

Then Spike said, “listen. About that….”

I then cut him off and told him, “I don’t want to fucking know. I don’t care if you have been doing this since you first saw Rarity or wince you first found out you have a dick. I don’t care. Just promise me this. Never speak of what you did when raping Twilight, nor kill her from your AIDS.”

Then Spike said, “How did you know I had AIDS?”

I then said to him, “listen. I’m going to give you these. When I leave, I want you to inject this into Twilight. Then after every other time you rape her, you give her this. Got it?”

what I had given him was a syringe that cures the AIDS. Yea, I had the cure and I knew it was safe. Besides, I was sure that Twilight was going to fuck me in my sleep one night and I didn’t want to get AIDS.

Then again, I was immune to all diseases, so it didn’t matter, but still.

I then left and put Twilight on her bed, while Spike gave her the shot.

Then Spike went back to masturbating. He’s just confused, that’s all.

I then teleported back outside of the hotel and went to find the abandoned building on South ST. it was dark and three at night, but I was able to find it.

To be honest, it kind of creped me out, with the mood and the atmosphere and shit. I swear I heard like a ghost or something when I was near by the place. I swear to Celestia that I did. I even think it was a poltergeist. God, that just gives me the chills.

Then again, I guess it isn’t so bad as Neon, because with him, he creeps me even more out.
I then went inside the building, honestly, no one was out here to stop me. For a pony that wanted to kill me and possibly has been watching me for a good long while, sure has shitty security.

However, I got sings that said, ‘come to the heart of the electrical house.’

I don’t know if the pony was trying to make everything serious or try to be just stupid.

However, I found some pictures of the previous Galas and pictures of me with Gala tickets. There was even some Gala ticket stubs lying on the ground.

As I was walking, written on the walls with blood and I’m for sure this was blood, and it said, ‘remember the Gala tickets.’

I honestly started to get a little creped out, because what the fuck did that Gala have to do with anything!?

Well, it was like a maze to get though and to get to the center, but I was almost there. As I was walking, I saw how this pony seemed to create the robots.

For one thing, there electrical equipment and creating shit everywhere man. In addition, of course, there was blood on the walls and shit.

Can’t have enough blood, can you? I also saw the guns, shit, and pictures of me holding one inside my house.

Now it made me think who has been watching me. I thought it was TF at first, but then a thought came to me. It couldn’t be him.

For one thing, if that was TF, this was a weak thing for him to do. I mean, he usually do more elaborate shit, and actually out smarts me and out fights usually throughout the many weeks on end.

However, he does know how to do this kind of shit, but I don’t think he’s that insane enough to put actual blood on the wall, well, at least not yet.

Besides, he wouldn’t just go over to me, but my friends and this would have taken place throughout the entire country of Equestria or this inter world.

I eventually reached a narrow path that led to the center of the abandoned electrical factory. I do have to admit though, that I think this electrical company factory, was and electrical factory. I believe it was something else.

Something likes rainbow factory type of feel. Like something even darker happened here many years ago and was abandoned by god. Now I’m just reading too deep into this.

Well, anyway, as I was saying, it was a narrow path way, and there pipes leading to the room and the floor was that grating type and some steam was leaking from the pipes, which I was surprised was still working.

I was about to go, until two ponies and a robotic pony attacked me. One of the ponies came straight for me, but I snapped his neck before he could even lay a hoof on me.

I also saw he had a gone with him, so I took that shot that other pony and killed him instantly. Now the part that I had trouble with was the mother fucking robot.

In addition, remember those dream shit that I have problems with controlling? Yea, it came back. I kept thinking about and it just made me weak.

However, I pushed through the fight. I fought back with all of my strength. I tried my best not to think of Fausticorn or Celetia and Luna fillies or even that island.

Something about that island just wanted me to find out every badly.

Of course, with the robot fight and all, it was very hard on my hooves, and I eventually took a broken pipe, which leaked a lot of steam into the robots face at first.

That gave me an advantage to attack him, and surprisingly, the steam helped somehow. Not sure why, or what was inside the steam and it was made of, but it helped and I was able to knock out the robot.

Not kill him, because I didn’t have fire for that matter. Then, I just decided to concentrate on trying to get that melody back in my head, so I could stop thinking about those dreams that are like nightmares to me.

I tried and I tired, but it wouldn’t come back. It just wouldn’t. I even cried a little. I had one or two tear drops fall from my eyes, because I wanted it to stop.

I wanted the melody to come back and save me from my dreams. And it was also a lovely tune. A tune that somehow I hold dear to, because it reminded me of something I couldn’t put my finger or hoof on it.

As a third tear drop was about to fall, the melody came back.

It came back into my head. I mean, I had my eyes closed, crying and on the floor, curled up and shit. I even had my head down.

When I heard the tune, I had a smile on my face. I was so happy it came back. I knew there was hope left. I just knew it.

When I went to look up and continue on and find this pony who has put me through hell, I saw something.

I saw a portal, with a picture on it. Well, more like a portal that was a window. In addition, I saw them. I saw Fausticorn in a child’s bedroom.

She wasn’t looking at me of course, but looking at towards a bed, where a child would be at. The room was also dark and looked like something that was meaningful to me.

I then saw the window that was near the bed. It was nighttime and the stars out were quite beautiful. I mean, they were so calm and peaceful and just lovely.

However, I saw another portal right outside that window. I couldn’t make it out what it lead to, but it looked like a portal that a person would only here through his or her mind.

you see, sometimes portals can open up, and it can sometimes only connect with one person or two people at once well, and there only way that a person could know that portal is there, is through listening to whatever comes through that portal.

The portal connects to the mind, however, you never see it, nor do you know what’s through it, but what you hear from it. I didn’t know who or what was listening in. I then went back to what was happening.

Fausticorn was sitting there right by the child’s bed. She was singing the melody. I could even make out the lyrics. It was ‘you are my sunshine.’

She sang it in such a motherly tone, it sort of made me cry a little bit. Why? I don’t know, but I just did. her voice was just…… I don’t know how to express it or explain it, but it was similar to Celestia’s voice, but there was a more motherly tone to it.

She was also signing the song ‘you are my sunshine.’

I didn’t quite get it. I mean, did she go to Earth and learn the song or did she create the song? I didn’t know what to say.

Then, I saw the child. I saw the child that was being singed to and that was in the bed. It was that child from the island. The child that I couldn’t make out. He was there.

In addition, he looked at me. He just stared at me with his blank white eyes. I know he has pupils in his eyes, it’s just that my mind was either playing tricks on me to not fully see the pony or the universe portal isn’t that well.

However, he just stared at me, as Fausticorn continued to sing her tune of sadness or happiness, as I never understood what that song meant to be.

However, that one universe portal did mystify me and I still don’t know where it ends up or who is listening to the song right now.

The year was 1933. Oliver Wood was sitting down on a bench. He had a brown paper sack with him and had some lunch that he had.

He was enjoying his life of a musician. He played for the Rice Brothers Gang and he was doing great with business.

He just wished that the great depression never had happened. Times were certainly tough, especially with the dustbowl.

Farmers were having no luck with the dust keep getting in their way and forcing them to leave their homes.

It was hard enough as it is. They had to leave their farms and in search of better land r jobs that could keep them afloat with income.

Oliver had thought all of these things and was finishing his lunch. Then, a tune came up in his head. A lovely voice of a motherly tone came up in his head.

He had heard the lyrics very clearly and made the words out just as fine as he ever did. Oliver didn’t want to lose the lyrics, as he was afraid he would lose them and he would never think about them again.

He had gotten a pencil just lying around somewhere and he wrote the lyrics down on his empty brown paper sack that once held food inside it.

Oliver had a smile on his face, and had known that he had a new song and it would make him and his band more famous.

In, addition, his band recorded the song and later in life, in the year of 1937, he had later sold it to Jimmie Davis who went on to record it and made it famous.

However, The Pine Ridge Boys also went to record it first.

In addition, throughout the years, it was a beloved song, loved by millions and it all started with Olivier listening to the lyrics in his head.

I just didn’t want to bother with that right now. I just wanted to concentrate on the task at hands.

When I found out that Fausticorn was singing this, I returned to the floor, having my head looked down on the ground. I was even crying a little bit.

I mean, when I saw her in my dreams and I didn’t know why she was in there, it was a nightmare. However, when I hear this song, it helps me with the dreams; a she is from my nightmares.

She helped me, and I don’t know what to say about it. Then, the portal decreased in size and the hole got smaller and smaller and soon, it disappeared and the song was now turned into silence.

However, the song didn’t stop playing for me, because I had the tune playing my head.

Then, the robot got back up for round two, and then, for some reason, anger boiled up inside me and I fought the robot.

Of course, it was an idiotic move on my part, because my anger didn’t make the fight any easier. All it did was push me to fight.

Well, the robot pinned me down on the ground and was about to kill me, until it stopped. It just froze there and didn’t nothing.

It was as if it was told to not kill me. Then I had thought maybe the pony who wanted me dead wanted alive. I then grabbed the gun, ready to kick this guys asshole.

I went towards the door, and kicked it open. I then checked to see if there were any guards at all, but there were none.

All I saw was a shrivel chair that was facing its back to me. Soon, I heard a voice. It wasn’t a male voice, but that of a female voice.

Then, the chair turned around, and revealed a colorful pony that was a mare. She had a light bluish and had a grayish mane color.

She even had horseshoes as a cutie mark. She then said to me, “after all of this time. I have finally got you.”

I then asked her, “Who are you and what do you want?”

Then she said, “oh. It’s quite too late for that, Knight. Of course, what I wanted is what all ponies wanted. A simple ticket to the Gala.”

I then had a ‘what the fuck’ expression o my face and asked, “Wait? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Then the mare said, “Don’t you play dumb with me you fool! don’t you remember me! from the time when I offered you to help you with your gardening, for just a simple exchange for the extra ticket to the Gala.”

I then said to her, “uhhhhhhhhhh……… no, actually. I don’t remember that at all. Who the fuck are you?”

She then said, “My name is Horseshoes!”

I then couldn’t help but laugh. I mean seriously, horseshoes. I mean, I know she has two horseshoes for a cutie mark, but come on. Were her parents retarded?

I actually looked that up and they were retarded. Well then, it was until funny to me.

Then said to her, “really? Horseshoes? That’s your name?”

She then yelled at me and said, “Don’t laugh at that! Besides, I wanted to change my name to p.t.d.g.t, but of course, you can’t even pronounce it. It was supposed to stande for pony that didn’t get gala ticket. And you didn’t give meit when I offered to help you with your garden.”

I then said to her, “I don’t have a fucking garden. In fact, I don’t know what the fuck I have in my house.”

Then she said, “Don’t you lie to me. I have a witness and her name is Pinkie Pie!”

I then had an idea hit me and to which I then said to her, “Wait. Are you thinking of Twilight?”

She then said, “No! who the fuck is she. I’m talking about you, and your garden in Ponyville!”

I then realized that she is also retarded. I then said to her, “yea, you mixed me up with Twilight didn’t you.”

She then said, “You are the personal student of Celestia, aren’t you?”

I then said, “Yes. However, I’m not really friends with Pinkie or the others of Twilight friends.”

She then said, “So, you’re not the one that I was looking for who didn’t give me the Gala ticket?”

I then said to her retarded face, “no. no I am not you retarded bitch. The one you’re looking for is Twilight Sparkle, which chances are, she is the one who need to talk to about the Gala ticket.”

She then said, “So, where do I find her?”

I then said to the bitch, “well. For one thing. She is the Princess of Equestria and is pretty much on of the rulers of this land. So, you can’t really try to kill her since she is pretty much powerful then you are and she has a shit load of guards.”

She then said, “Oh. So I don’t think I will be able to get the Gala Ticket in time from her, won’t I?”

I then replied to the dumbass, “Well, for one thing. You are seven years late. The Gala happened pretty much seven years ago and you’re a fucking dumbass for not even realizing it.”

She then said, “well shoot. I’ve been planning this for a long time. I mean, I even went to school and came up with ideas for those robots to kill Twilight. Well shoot. My bad. I thought I had the right pony. I mean, you are a personal of Celestia and all, well; I’ve wasted so many years of my life. Then again, I guess I could give it a shot at trying to kill Twilight. That and…”

I then whacked the idiotic bitch and I think I killed her with s hovel that was nearby me.

I also said after I knocked her out, “I’m sorry, but you put me through hell, so you have to pay for that. You’re also not putting a hoof on Twilight, even though we’re not technically friends, I do still care for her safety. Besides, even though she has a crush on me, I still don’t give a fuck no matt what. Well, I’m off to bury your body into some hobo’s dumpster. Maybe the hobo can use you as in outhouse you retard.”

I then dragged the body out of the factory, and the robot remained in the position it was for pretty much a long time.

I then dragged her to the nearest dumpster, dropped her off there, and went teleported back to Stalia.

I was back home and Celestia’s sun was about to rise.

In addition, of fucking course, I didn’t get what TK asked of me to get, which was that thing that TF used and shit. However, I was too pissed off of what I had to do and shit, that I wanted to just rest.

When I walk through the door, Wolf was up stairs in my room being molested by Molestia and he in her was moaning and they didn’t know I was back.

I then went into my basement and saw that the thing to help me with my dreams was finished. I looked at the data and everything seemed to be in check. I then gave myself the shot and it actually helped.

I was free from the thoughts from the dreams, for at least twenty-four hours. I had to make more, but it helped. Well, it didn’t erase the thought, but all it did was make me concentrate and not think about the dreams.

However, I still couldn’t go back to sleep of course, but at least I wasn’t going to act like an insane person no more.
As for what happened to Twilight, I don’t know actually.

Twilight Sparkle was in her bed, possibly thinking about white people shit.

In addition, I do say white people shit, because she sounds like a white chick. In addition, she sounds like a white chick that doesn’t sound hot and something that I wouldn’t even dare hit on.

Nor sleep with her to piss off her white guy husband. However, he was black; I maybe would, and perhaps do cocaine and get into a gang war with some white people.

What? I said it many of times before, I’m mother fucking god and I can do whatever the fuck I want.

I’ll do your mom if I have to prove it to you. She’s possibly hot anyway, and I’ll tap her ass. And if your dad walks in, I’ll kill him and sell him on the white market, since the black market is for black people only.

Then that would rather mean I’ll be your new dad. Then I would abuse you and narrate you to death. That’s right you white ass mother fuckers.

I’m that powerful, because I’m mother fucking freeman. Now shut your white people’s mouths up so I can continue the story that I’m possibly being only paid only five bucks to do.

Twilight was awoken from her deep slumber. Before Twilight had woken up, Spike had once again raped her.

I do have to admit, even though it’s wrong, I have to give props for Spike, because he is the man and deserves a lot of good shit to happen to him.

However, he will never be the man enough to be like me, because I’m Morgan fucking freeman. Besides, I’m black and he sounds like a white guy.

Well, after Spike had empty out his semen into Twilight, he had given her the syringe that he was told to use, since Spike was a white guy, so that meant he had AIDS.

However, I could have cured it with my beautiful black guy narrating voice. That and I’m black, so I can do whatever the fuck I want.

When Twilight woke up, she looked around her room for a bit. She then looked at spike, and asked him, “Spike? Did I go out last night?”

Spike looked at her and was afraid to say she had spent the night with Knight.

However, he had owed Knight for not telling Twilight that he raped her that one time when the white guy doctor went to that universe.

Spike then said to Twilight, “No you didn’t Twilight. You just went to bed early since you were tired from yesterday.”

Twilight had believed what Spike had told her and then said, “I was kind of curious. I dreamed last night that I went to hang out with Knight at a bar, but then I was knocked out. Oh well, we all do dream crazy things, don’t we spike?”

Then she looked up at the ceiling and heard my beautiful black guy Morgan Freeman voice of a black guy god.

She then said to me, “Is someone there? whose voice is that?”

I then politely said to her, “It’s god you mother fucking bitch! Now shut the fuck up and let the black guy do his talking!”

Twilight then said, “Are you a Zebra god?”

I then said to her purple dumbass face, “I isn’t no mother fucking white striped mother fucking zebra you retarded bitch! No wonder Knight doesn’t want to fuck your cute little purple asshole. Well, then, it looks like I’m getting a Morgan Freeman boner now. Know what Twilight?, I’m going to rape and erase your memory of our conversation. Spike, you guard the door while I rape this fine young lady.”

Then Spike said, “Got it Mr. Zebra god.”

Then I said to the little fucker, “Boy, do you want me to slap you silly you fucking retarded animal?”

Then Spike said to me, “No Mr. Black guy sir, whatever a black guy that is.”

I then said, “Thank you and…. And hold on just a dam minute here you racist prick. You say one more make one more black joke, I’ll literally fucking find out where you came from, rape your mother, then stab you fifty-one times in your balls, and give AIDS from African trees. And, I know you don’t know who your mother is, but I’m god and I can find out very easily. Your choice purple asshole.”

Then Spike said to me, “Yes Mr. Morgan Freeman, if that is your name that I am guessing right. I will stop with the black jokes.”

I then said to Spike, “There’s a good boy Spike. Now, I want you to knock once on the door outside if you see anyone coming. Got it? Now, let’s get started here you fine ass…”

I then realize, after talking to Spike so much, I didn’t notice that Twilight escaped through the window.

I then said, “Well, she escaped. Well, I can still find her, but there will not be a bed for the raping, so I guess I’ll just find her and wipe her memory of out conversation. Well, have a nice day Spike.”

I then left somehow, and went to find Twilight, to which I found her flying in the air trying to get away from me.

I then grabbed her by my force and wiped her memory out. After I did that, I returned her to her room at the Hotel and she woke up, without remembering that conversation ever happened.

I do wish on wonderful nights sometimes, that I did rape her, but I must be a black gentleman, and must rape black chicks instead, and not bitchs that sound like a white guy.

I then continued after these events, on narrating moments when Knight has an opening where I can narrate certain points where he has no fucking clue what happened to certain ponies after he left.

And that is right you white people, I do help out Knight, and not try to fuck with him. I would, but I know the secret behind him that he doesn’t know yet and, to be quite honest with you, I rather not fuck with him, because let’s just say, I would get my ass kicked if I ever did, and it wouldn’t be by Knight himself.

So, have a nice white guy dreams for you white people, and for the black people, have dreams about me, because we’re black and we pretty much have inception dreams, if you know what I mean.

I just don’t know why every time when I think about what had happened to ponies that I don’t know what happened to when I left them, I have a weird feeling that Morgan Freeman has something to do with it, or something is just fucked up about it.

Well, anyway, as I got back from the basement and gave myself the syringe, I went upstairs to my room.

In addition, wouldn’t you know it, Wolf was using my bed for sex. As in, Fucking Molestia on my bed. That little mother fucking prick of a bitch.

He even got cum everywhere and he pretty much fucked it up so bad, it’s un-washable. However, Molestia offered her sheets form her castle, but I had to go to the castle to get them. Just to keep it short and sweet for you guys, she molested me, and I got new sheets.

Also, if you’re wondering of how that revolution went, all the ponies that were involved in it died. I even recall that Celestiawas shocked that her subjects that she treated fairly tried to rebel. I wanted to tell her that they had the revolution because of the beer, and I actually did say that to her.

She then asked me, “What were you doing in Manehatten?”

I then said to her, “I would tell you, but I rather not make you wonder what goes on in that town.”

Well, after I told her those things, she was kindly enough to drop the plan she was going to do, which was to be stricter with the subjects,

not too strict like the Tyrant Celestia, but only because of the revolution, and she thought she was doing everything fairly and thought we were being a little selfish. Well, then, I guess the entire Country of Equestria owes me a favor for them from saving their asses from not so harsh rules.

Besides, I was the only one still alive after the revolution, because everyone died in it and had a Les Miserable’s musical while doing so.

It is very quite confusing, I understand.

Well, that was the end of my adventure for this chapter, and the next adventure, was just weird.

Click here for deleted scenes.

(Warning: the deleted scenes does contain cop related stuff, so if you don't like that stuff, then don't click it. just a warning for those who don't like it.)

*Keep in mind, That i did a little reshearch, and from what i've found, is that Oliver Wood is the guy who wrote the song and was in that band. He also actually wrote the song on a brown paper bag from what i've found. however, i don't know what the fuck he was doing with the bag, nor what the bag contained. i just made a guess. i don't even know what he wrote it with. it was sort of hard to find this, because i ept getting mostly Harry potter shit instead of 'you are my sunshine'. I also find it intersthing that i did this, and made the plot a little bit intertwine with actual history. as for the jimmie davis thing and the other band name, that is all correct from what i've found and including the years as well.

Episode 20: The Two Neons

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Chapter 20: the two Neons

You know what is bad or a tragedy. Neon Party when he is insane. You know what is a living hell? Neon party, the insane version of him.

You know what is a fucking nightmare that haunts your fucking dreams in your fucking sleep. Two Neon parties in the same universe together.

Oh yea, I’m not kidding you. This actually happened, and I swear It was the apocalypse. Now don’t get me wrong, Neon can be a cool pony to hang out with sometimes.

However, it’s when he’s random or killing ponies at random. He is a fucking Earth Pony that is insane. I mean, if you made the insane version of him, he more than a nightmare to you, he’s like the devil.

I mean, he’s like a walking living hell, out to get you if you made an insane version of him. That actually happened to us, when Neon became the insane version of himself. He is already fucking insane, but that’s not the insane version of him.

When you make him insane, you’re doomed and pray that he ends your life quickly. You just pray to Lauren Faust or whoever your god is, even if it is black god or Muslim suicide bomber god. Even it is an Illegal Mexican god that you worship, you had better pray for a quick death.

However, Two Neon’s is a fucking horrible nightmare. Not even Freddy Kruger would want anything in it. He would be like, afraid of them, and not even wanting to go into their dreams and haunt them.

He would be scared of them for life. He would be having the nightmares, while the Neon’s are the new Freddy Kruger.

My god, that gives me the chills down my spines as I write this in leather bound journal, along with king and a quill. That also reminds me of a your mama joke.

You know what, I might have just stolen it, but then again, no one will give a fuck, since I’m in Equestria, while the humans are on Earth. So suck it Illegal Mexicans. No revolution for you, not never.

Also, suck it Obama. I can say not all the bad shit I want to you and you can send in your dam fucking drones that spy on people to do it neither. So fuck you and the black people.

You can’t do anything about it, nor can neither the Jews, because they pretty much die when you push them gently down.

Those Jews are weak I must admit. In addition, I might have taken the black thing excessively far. So let me apologize, so you won’t start complaining, like how the Muslims will when they read this.

I’m sure they would want to burn this leather bound book, along with the bible, American flag, and a copy of Batman and Robin.

In addition, perhaps a picture of Robin Williams. I can see the Muslims see him as a threat to them. I would too agree with them. I do see Robin Williams as a threat. The Muslims would also see Barbra strains as a threat as well, but I don’t see her as a threat.

I mean, I know she’s a Jew and all, but I don’t see that as a problem. However, I do see how her big noise is a threat to humankind. I mean, the noise is like a weapon I guess. Then again, all Jews have the noise type.

Well, whatever, let’s get on to my life’s story, shall we? Therefore, it was the day after I gotten back from my adventure trip in Manehatten.

I was tired as fuck and of fucking course; I was tired of Molestia fucking me. That, and the fact that she turned me into a fucking girl, so she could molest me was a little weird, but whatever.

I was in my bed, and enjoying the new sheets and shit. I mean, the sheets were very nice, and it was almost worth it for Molestia changing my gender to molest me was sort of worth it. I could have stayed in the bed the whole day.

I mean, even though I didn’t sleep in it, the bed was still nice and comfy to lay and just relax. However, of course, those dreams of Fausticorn were still there, deep in my mind.

I still wanted to know what it all meant. I mean, it had to mean something. There had to be a reason why I was having those visions or dreams.

Moreover, that song. Why was she singing that song to that child? Well, I decided to push thoughts aside, and relax and lay on my new comfortable sheets.

I was so happy and peaceful, other than the Fausticorn thing. I felt like nothing could go wrong. Of course, I fucking jinxed it and Neon broke through the door, bouncing everywhere and shit. I mean, it was as if he was high on cocaine or something.

I mean, he fucked up everything, including the bed sheets. I did get a brand new one from Molestia, but of course, I had to spend a day with her, being molested and being a mare and shit.

Fucking Neon and his bouncy ways that destroys my shit. Well, he bounced around my room, while saying, ‘Wahoo!’ like Daffy Duck from The Loony Toons again.

Luckily, Wolf wasn’t there in the room, because Wolf was doing some type of timber wolf shit outside.

Eventually Neon calmed down and we started to have a conversation. Well, Neon didn’t calm down, because I had to calm him down, by saying to him, “Neon! What the fuck are you doing!?”

Then Neon stopped, and he stopped with his back towards my face. Then he did something that still creeps me out late at night, to which he turned his head 280 degrees, with a big creepy smile on his face, with the tiniest-fucking pupils you would ever see on a living creature in your life.

After he did that, he then said in what seemed like a posse demon voice, “You’re going to die.”

My god, I have never been crept out as much as I did then. Then he continued to say, “Your mother sucks my cock in hell.”
Then Neon threw up green shit like in the Exorcist movie form the 70’s. Strangely enough, just like in the movie, on how cold the room was, the room also was cold.

I don’t know how Neon did it, because the temperature was fine when I went to lay down on the bed.

Then a random pony that looked like a priest came randomly walking in, and said, “Excuse me gentlecolts. I am lost and I can’t find a single pony around this town to help me. I just happened to see your place open, and I hope you don’t mind me…… Holy mother fucking shit! It is a posse demon from Purgatory! Luckily, I’m an expert on how do get rid of these types of things, just in case one escapes from Purgatory.”

After what that priest look alike said, I then wondered, is Neon an escaped demon soul from Purgatory? Nevertheless, it couldn’t be true, since we went to Planet Random and shit.

Then Neon continued to turn his head 360 degrees, and looked at the priest. He then slowly tilted his head, and then said in a demon voice, “You are going to die tonight Mr. Purge.”

Then the priest guy said, “How did you know my name?” then Neon said, “Your mother sucked my cock twice as hard in Purgatory last night. Then I went to a planet called earth. I stalked Lauren Faust for a while, and then broke into her house.

I then noticed her husband was doing shit, to which I then randomly sat down with him and watched TV. Surprisingly he was cool with it.”

I wonder how that played out.


I’m Morgan Freeman, once again narrating sot so important events. Therefore, the white guy that Lauren married was doing white guy stuff.

Well, I ain’t no white guy, I’m mother fucking black. How the fuck should, I know what white people do. Even in their dreams?

I only know black guy stuff, which is black guy stuff that you wouldn’t understand. Now, I’m starting to get sick and tired of saying this kind of bullshit, and I ain’t in the fucking mood to be pissed off.

You know, since the black chick that I tried to rape last night at my black guy hotel tried to call the cops, but I then killed, to which that gave me a mother fucking black guy migraine.

Therefore, I want to get this day on my job over with as fast as possible. So I’ll be nice only this once to ya’ll white people.

The white guy was sitting in his chair, watching sport, while Lauren was doing some shit that that had something to do with her job. Neon had just finished stalking Lauren, and quietly broke into the house, by smashing a window open.

No wonder white people can’t survive in the hood. So, Neon then went into the living room, slowly creeping up behind the shit guy in his chair. The white guy had a beer in his hands and was not paying attention behind him.

Then Neon slowly rosé up, and was in a position that looked like he was going to kill the white guy. Then, Neon said, “Hey Craig!”

Then Craig said, “Hey Neon. What’s up?”

Then Neon said which sounded normal for once, “Nothing much. Just thought I hang out with you. how’s the Misses?”

Then Craig said, in a white guy voice, “Doing fine. She said she was working on a new show, but I don’t know what it is, because the name is long and hard to understand. You want a beer?”

Then Neon said, “Sure. Why not?”

Then Craig said, “It’s in the fridge. Bottom left corner.”

As Craig was saying that, Neon went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed himself a beer.
He then said to Craig while in the kitchen, “Got it!”

Then Neon walked back with the beer somehow, and got in a chair and watched some TV with his friend.

Then Craig asked, “So. How’s life going for you back in Equestria?”

To which Neon then said, “Nothing much. The same stuff every day. Being random, hanging out with friends, being more random, hang out with my dead body, go to planet random, bother Knight, and go be random at night, and go and visit Luna in her dreams as she works in other dreams.”

Then Craig had a thought in his mind, and wanted to ask Neon for a while. Craig said, “Hey, Neon? You always talk about Knight. You should bring him over sometime and we could hang out. He was once human, right?”

Then Neon said to Craig, “Right. I mean, Knight is such a nice guy, he would hurt you or your wife. He also has many tales to tell from his adventures. He’s also a cool guy to hang out with when he isn’t high.”

Then Craig said to get a thought off his white guy mind, “I know I shouldn’t be doing drugs, but, do you think Knight can lend me some of his weed?”

Then Neon said to answer Craig’s question about white guy stuff, “Sure. He always loves to have a human smoking weed friend. All he has is Wolf. Also, when Knight comes over he will also be in human form, not pony form.”

Then Craig said, “That’s fine. Along as he doesn’t make any problems with me or Lauren, that’s just fine.”

Then Neon said, “You know, I stalked your wife before I came in. I think you should introduce me to her someday.”

Then Craig said in a calm white guy voice, “I would, but I don’t think anytime soon, maybe if Knight comes over, he can do something just in case Lauren freaks out and do other crazy stuff. You know, since you told me how he has invented his own technology and pretty much knows how to handle stuff in certain situations. I just don’t think it would be a good time to tell her, even though you have been coming over here for the past 7 years. I mean, I’m pretty sure Lauren has forgotten about the My Little Pony thing and the fandom itself.”

Then Neon said, “Well, that too bad that she has forgotten it. The Bronies look cool. Besides, they are better than any of the other humans, since they love and tolerate and almost all of them wants to be like the ponies in the show. Too bad they don’t know the entire truth about the show.”

Then Craig remembered something in his white guy head and asked Neon, “It is too bad that they don’t know it. Why don’t we tell Lauren the truth when Knight comes over, so Lauren can know what’s really going on?”

Then Neon said in his white guy voice, “No can do man. The Universe forbids me to tell her. However, Knight might be able to tell her the truth, after he finds out the truth in good time. The universe really never tells me anything, but I’m just flowering it.”

Then Craig had a quick question on his mind that he wanted to ask Neon, which was, “Neon, when you told me how you and Knight defeated the predators and you tuned back time and all. Doesn’t that mean you’re god of that universe? Not the god that is ruling it right now?”

Then Neon then said, while continuing to have a smile on his face, “by technical standards, yes, but I can hand down the power to whoever I want to, so I chose the god to rule the universe, but also made the universe have a mind on its own at the same time, so both powers are balanced.”

Then Craig said, “Isn’t that a bad idea? I mean, the universe could kill whatever it wants. Aren’t you afraid that might happen?”

Then Neon said without fear or anything at all, “Well, no. you see, the universe has a mind on its own, and can do things, but only if I give it the authority to do so. For example, it wanted to make sure that Knight would stay on his course of his destiny, by doing a whole bunch of shit to him. Therefore, I gave the universe its permission to do so however it wanted to.
However, the universe only makes sure the ponies stays on course with their destinies, but rarely makes destinies. As for god, she controls almost everything and she creates the destines of the ponies, but doesn’t make sure they keep on track with them. God and the universe also work together and share the godly powers and duties, so nothing goes wrong.”

Then the confused white guy named Craig then asked Neon, “But how does that balance the powers? That does not make any sense. You just told me what they’re job is.”

Then Neon said to Craig, “Exactly.”

Then Craig said, “I don’t get you dude. But, you’re still my friend.”

Then Neon asked, “So, Craig, when do you think you’re going to do the back door?”

Craig was confused and said, “I don’t know what you mean?”

Then Neon said, “You know, fuck your wife you sly dog you. come on, tell me when you’re actually going to bang your wife, or in other words, have sex with your wife, so she can get pregnant, and you’ll have a child? I mean, I wouldn’t mine being an Uncle Neon.”

Then Craig just stared off into space for a while, and said, “I don’t know. Why don’t we have any children? I have to look into it I guess. In addition, you said that there is a secret to Knight that he doesn’t know about yet. I’ve been meaning to ask you lately, what is that secret?”

Then Neon said, “Ok then. I’ll tell you, but I got to whisper it in your ear, just I case Knight might be listing on in this, since he knows how to open portals when he has off the grid powers on him.”

Then Craig leaned in forward, and Neon whispered something into Craig’s ear. Then, Craig had a very surprised look on his face, for what the big secret was that you white people do not know yet. I mean, I know, since I’m Morgan fucking Freeman and I’m black god.

Just trust me; the secret is quite surprising and unexpected. After Neon told Craig the secret, Craig relaxed again, to take in what he just heard.

Then Craig said, “That is quite surprising. I did not expect that at all. I mean, how that is even possible?”

Then Neon whispered in his ear once more, and Craig continued to have a surprise look on his face.

Then Craig said, “That makes since. But the question is, why?”

Then Neon said, “No one knows, it’s just is that way. Only she knows why it happened. My guess is whatever we believe in.”

Then Craig said to Neon, “Wait a second. Wouldn’t that mean, he’s… well you know?”

Then Neon understood it and said, “By technical reasons, yes and no. it all depends on where the location is, and it depends on what form he is in. however, for the most part, the answer is yes.”

Then Craig had a surprise look on his face, and continues to say, “Well then. That’s a life changer for me. Something very much unexpected for me. That, and Lauren as well, in case if she ever finds out that is. You know what we should do. We should video tape her reaction when she finds out. It will be funny man.”

Then Neon said, “Sure. It would make good times for all of us. However, I believe the universe told me it will tell Knight in perhaps in 10 years from now.”

Then Craig asked, “Why so long?”
Then Neon said, “Because the timing will be perfect. Then after the universe tells him, then they will leave Knight alone and let him do his job. The universe works in mysterious ways, I might add.”

Then Craig said, “Well then. Your universe also works in weird ways as well. So, you want to play some Call of Duty?”

Then Neon said, “Oh fuck yea! So, which one should we do? Call of Duty 16 or Call of Duty 17?”

Then Craig said, “Well, it is the year 2020, and Call of Duty 17 just came out. Maybe Call of Duty 16, since this will be forgotten, likes Black Ops 2 and Ghost.”

Then Neon put the game disk in, grabbed the PS5 Controllers, and started to play Black ops 4.

Then Neon said with eagerness, “Whoooooo!! Zombies mother fucker! Let’s go kill some mother fucking zombies on mars!”
Then Craig said, “Why not the sun? We should kill some noobs on the sun map?”

Then Neon said, “Yea, but the sun map is a little hard. What about the death star map?”

Then Craig said, “That’s a good idea. I heard they had an update where you can actually kill zombie Vader.”

Then Neon said, “That’s just a myth. Like the same myth that there’s a ghost in the background of the movie three men and a baby.”

Then Craig said, “No way man. That rumor is fucking true as shit man. I mean, I did see that ghost in the background of that cabin. It’s there alright and it’s haunted as fuck.”

Then Neon asked, “Have you ever been to the cabin?”

Then Craig said, “Well, no, but I’ve seen pictures of it online and it’s legit. Besides, I will never forget that night when Lauren was sleeping, and I heard noise. I looked around, and I saw a ghost a green neon pony… Wait a second. Was that you?”

Then Neon said, “Strangely enough, that wasn’t me. Besides, that that happened eight years ago, and we met seven years ago.”

Then Craig said, “Well then. That’s strange indeed. Well let’s kill Zombies on the death star and fight zombie Vader.”

Then they played the game throughout the night. Then after a while, Craig got tired of playing, and wanted to take break and watch some good old-fashioned white person TV.

So Neon also agreed to take a break, and went to stalk Lauren some more.

Neon had over heard on the phone, which was Lauren talking on, to get meeting arrangements, so she could pitch her idea to Hasbro for her new show.

Neon had overheard the title, and the title was ‘Pineapple Train Express to the Universe Star system kids.’

What a ridiculous white guy name for a TV children show. Then again, it is the year 2020 by the, and not much shit has changed except for phones, which all it did was get more complicated as the new versions went on.

Neon even heard that Lauren was going to go to the meeting tomorrow morning, after she put some finishing touches on her new show.

Then Neon continued to stalk Lauren for about an hour or so. Eventually Lauren decided to go to bed.

When Lauren was fast asleep and couldn’t be disturb in her sleep, Neon watched her in her sleep, as in standing over her, like those weird white people in the Paranormal Activity movies, where the scary white bitch just stood over the guy’s head.

That is the reason why I don’t have sex that much with White chicks, because I’m just afraid that might happen to me.

Then Neon continued to star at Lauren for about an hour or so, or at least until it was one in the fucking morning, and Neon went back down stairs to go hang out with Craig.

Craig decided to play one more game with Neon. Then hit the hay, which was, ‘Half Life 3.’ In addition, yes, Valve actually gave a shit about the white people’s complaints of not making the game, and it was made.

I even recall on that Princess Molestia tumbler page, where Gamer Luna became Lusty Luna for a week. It was so hot; I clopped to that shit nightly.

What? Can’t a black guy be a clopper? You white racist. Moreover, yes, there is Co-op in Half Life 3. They also decided to play ‘Team Fortress 3’ and ‘Portal 3’ while they were at it.

In addition, they played the hell out of those games. Then Neon turned everything off and said good night to his friend Craig, and went back to Equestria for about fifteen minutes.

Then, Neon came back to the house, stalked Lauren for about three hours, and went to do random shit back in Equestria again.

Which was bothering Knight. I hope that I’m done for the chapter, because that black bitch really gave me a migraine.


I’m starting to feel like there’s more to the story then that I know of, and Morgan Freeman has something to do with it.

Well then, I guess is should continue to say what Neon was saying. Yes, he wasn’t done yet folks. He said, “Then I went to the bar and got drunk. Then, I went to purgatory, and I sucked on your mother’s cock, since I was high on cocaine and shit.
Then the priest guy said, “My mother doesn’t have a dick.”

Then Neon said, ‘oh yes she does. Because is a transvestite. Don’t you know of your own birth Mr. Purge? Don’t you know that you were born from a Hooker?”

Then the priest guy said, “Well, that would explain why I have AIDS. But you’re still will go back to purgatory to beat!”

Then Neon did something even creepier. He slowly killed him, just like how pinkimena killed Rainbow Dash in ‘Cupcakes.’

I could go into detail about it, but if you already read the Cupcakes, then you should know what happens. Well, there was a shit load of a mess on my floor, and surprisingly, Neon cleaned it up.

Well then, at least he is polite about my floor. At least that’s something. Then Neon returned to me and continued to look even creepier then before. Then he said, ‘I’m just fucking with you Knight.”

Then I asked, “So, this was all a set up and that was not a real dead body?”

Then Neon said, “Nope. It was all real. I’m just joking about how you’re going to die. Even the mother sucks cocks in hell part, because that is impossible.”

Then I ask, “What the fuck are you even talking about?”
Then Neon said, “You’ll see soon enough Knight. Soon enough. So, what crazy adventure of the off the grid are we or you going to have today!?”

Then Neon just sat there with a cute smile on his face. I then said to him, “First off, you’ll never go off the grid, because if TK finds out that you know, shit will go down.”

Then Neon said, “what kind of shit? Dog shit, or Muslim –Jew-Hindu shit. Or will it rain shit?”

Then Neon gasped and then said, “I hope it does rain shit. If it does, I can then sing, ‘I’m singing in the shit.”

Then he started to sing his own version of the song, ‘I’m singing in the Rain’, along with, either shit or rain coming down in my room.

I don’t know which, but it looks like a hybrid of the two. In addition, you might be wondering how fucked up my room was?

Well, it didn’t look like a war zone hit it, nor did it look like a tornado hit it, but it looked like something that a new kind of level of destruction should be called.

I call it, ‘it looked like a Neon happened here.’ it was that bad, which included, green puke, blood and guts everywhere, the room was a wreck, and shit-rain came down from out of nowhere or possibly from Planet Random.

Well, here is what Neon singed.

Do da do dad a do da do da do da do da do dad a do do dad a do do dad a do
I’m singing in the shit!
Just singing in the shit!
What a shitty feeling
I have AIDS again
Because I laughed so hard at Laruen Faust in her sleep
So, Asian like up above
The Crack is in my heart
And I’m ready for raping
Let the stormy clouds shit
Every pony from their homes
Come on with the shit
I’ve a blood my hooves when I kill certain ponies
I walk in Knight’s house
With a psychopathic face
Just singing
Singing in the shit
I’m fucking in the shit
Yes !yes yes yes !!
I have AIDS again
I’m singing and dancing in the shit

Then Neon did a whole dancing or tap-hoofing, while the hybrid rain fell. Even a royal guard saw this, and he was about to take him away, since he was doing some kind of crazy shit and all, but Neon killed him just like the priest guy.

I don’t even know where the royal guard came from, but I’m guessing Twilight needed me, so she sent the guard to fetch me to bring me to her.

Good thing that Neon killed him, because I found out that Twilight found out that one night we spent together in Manehatten, and she thought it was a date and all.

Well, she thought we had a relationship going on, and I’m guessing she was curious. Either she was curious on how kissing a stallion would feel, us spending time together, or just having good ol’ sex.

I say this, because she fixed her bed in a ‘certain’ way, and I’m not sure if that was just for her, or for us to have sex in. I really don’t know what Twilight had planned for me, and to be honest, I don’t want to find out.

In addition, I should mention, while Neon was singing this, the music from the actual song was playing in the background as well.

Then, out of nowhere, that guy who played in the movie, ‘Singing in the Rain’, came out of a portal and danced along with Neon for a bit.

They both had smiles on their faces, and when that guy wasn’t looking, Neon stabbed him a few time by taking a knife from out of nowhere and just stab him in the stomach.

Yes, he just did that and while he was stabbing, the music in the background paused for a second.

Then the music came back when Neon was done killing the guy and removing his organs very quickly. Back to the lyrics.

I’m dancing, and singing
In the shit

Then the music in the background stopped and Neon continued to have a creepy smile on his face.

I then said to Neon, “Well, that’s not what I meant, but impressive, since the fact it rained shit in my house. You are going to clean this up, right?”

Then Neon said, “Oh you don’t have to worry about it. I mean, since you’re, well… I can’t say it, since the universe will tell it to you in the future.”

Then I said, “Does it have to do something with that secret behind me?”

Then Neon said, “Sure do you son of a bitch.”

I don’t know why Neon said that to me. I mean, he said that with a happy face. I’m just so confused right now what Neon was trying to say to me in a way.

Therefore, I then said to Neon, “Well, whatever. I don’t care right now. What I meant when I said that shit would go down, is that TK might end doing shit that is bad for this universe.”

Then Neon said, “Oh you are very true to that, but he won’t once you know who you truly are.”

Then I asked, with a bit of a yelling tone to it, “What the fuck are you even talking about!?”

Then Neon said, “You’ll see in the future Knight. I also have a way to get around TK. I can just turn invisible.”

I then said to Neon, to debunk his idea of that, “TK can sense when something invisible Neon. For one thing, he is a devil, so he has supernatural powers, to where he can detect invisibility. Second, he still wears the knight suit, which the helmet on him can detect if someone is invisible or not. I mean, he didn’t have it in the suit at first, but over the years he upgraded it.”

Then Neon said, “Knight, aren’t you forgetting something? My powers are from Planet Random, and are pretty much can bypass his helmet scanner, and his power won’t detect me.”

I then said to Neon, “True, but he might ask me if someone is with me or not. I mean, I know the chances are of that ever happening is slim, but he can tell when I’m hiding something. He still has the bullshit detector Neon.”

Then Neon said, “don’t worry about that Knight. I can just mess up that lie dector, and he won’t even notice.”

Then I said, “Are you sure Neon. Are you sure that will work? He can detect when someone is fucking with his technology and he can detect that kind of shit with his powers.”

Then Neon said, “Just trust me Knight. Besides, if you give yourself your powers from Planet Random, we can bypass him easily.”

I then said, “Fair enough. However, I’m only doing this because, well, since you know it and all, might as well not keep it from you. Therefore, we can leave in one hour. Since I want to get some of my morning weed smoking in and you have to clean this up and shit.”

Then Neon latterly cleaned up the place, and fixed every broken thing in my house within a microsecond. Neon really deserves the title of god. Then I went to my weed smoking and it was good and shit. However, you know how you’re supposed to be tripping out when you smoke weed?

Well, I got the complete opposite, but it was only this one time this ever happening, and why it happed is beyond me.

However, I believe Neon fucked with my weed, so I think he is behind and shit. Well, after a few minutes of smoking my morning weed, I got my visions; however, it was those dreams again.

However, I was like in a scene or something from the past that was unfamiliar to me. I was in like a castle or something.

I looked out the window, and it was daylight. There were even clouds on the ground. I was in heaven. I was in a hallway somewhat like, and there seemed to be five rooms. One seemed to be a bathroom at one side. At the very end of the hallway, it seemed to be a sort of living room, or something like that.

One room at double doors. Where two rooms, had just a single door. I took a looking one of them, and it had two beds. One bed had a night sky covers on, while the other had like a sun like colors on the bed covers.

The room was filled with toys, seem to be for kids. I saw a guard walk by me; however, he just did not see me.

Therefore, I was like a ghost or something. Well, you remember that kid, who I could not make out, well, I saw him again. Not even in a good lighting I could not figure who he was.

Apparently, someone or something does not want me to know who he is. I saw him, running to a bedroom. The same bedroom, where I saw through the portal that one night in Manehatten.

He ran inside and shit the door. I also believe I heard it was locked from the inside. Then, Fausticorn appeared.

She rather ran to the door. She even went right through me.

She then knocked on the door with her hoof, and she said, in a motherly tone, “Please Inca! You have to understand! You have to understand that I did it for a reason! Please Inca! Let me in, so I can explain it to you! Inca!”

She said it, not in an angry tone, but in rather a begging tone.

Yea, I knew something was up. I did not know what, but something was up.

However, I rather ignored what Fausticorn was saying, because I noticed something. Something very strange. Somehow, I was like in an alternate universe.

However, an alternate universe to what exactly. How did I know this? Well, I heard a certain noise and a wavy hair and something else. It told me that I was in an alternate universe.

The same thing that I noticed when I was on that island and those to her dreams that I had of Fausticorn.

It was weird how this happened. Now, why it happened to the weed, I still do not know why, but it just did.

Perhaps maybe the universe had something to do with it. well, I was about to go back to paying attention to what Fausticorn was saying, but I was pulled back into my own universe, and was put back onto my couch.

I had wide eyes opened, and Neon was just standing there, smiling at me. I then said to Neon, “Dude. You are just fucking scaring me right now.”

Then Neon said, “I know. Why do you think I’m doing it?”

I then sat there on my couch, dazed and confused as fuck. I then said to Neon, “I don’t get it?”

Then Neon said, “Exactly!”

I was still fucking confused as fuck, but then again, I was trying to make logic with a god like being here. I was trying to make logic with Neon.

The thing is that you do not make logic with Neon, but Neon makes the logic. It is weird and confusing, but trust me, it makes a whole lot of sense.

I then got off the couch, still trying to make sense of that alternate universe that I was in, and Neon and I headed out the door.

We were walking and noticed that no pony was around to be found. Even Neon was confused at first.

He said, “This seems strange. I have not terrorized anyone, nor did I kill anyone, or a random event happened that I created, and there is no pony to be found out here. This is very odd.”

Then, Neon had wide surprised eyes, and finally realizes that he is a fucking idiot, and forgot something.

He said, “Oh my sweet baby black son of a bitch gang banger mother fucking Jesus! Quick Knight! To my room at the party store!”

Then Neon ran, and I have a feeling if you were seeing this as a show, you would see a batman symbol or perhaps a Neon symbol that would spin around for a few seconds and go back into the shot and we would move to the next scene. You know the classic batman transition.

Yea, that would happen, especially, since Neon is random and shit. Well, since this is not a show or according to Neon, it is, he just left me there.

I then said, “Thank Celestia he’s gone.”

I then turned around to go back to my place, so I can do other weed related shit, but then, right in front of me, a zipper appeared.

Then, the zipper unzipped, and it was a portal to Neon’s bedroom. Neon was staring right t me, with his usual creepy smile as always, and pulled me through the portal.

I still wonder how the fuck did that zipper was put there and how Neon did it. I don’t fucking know.

The thing is, since I’ve been friends with Neon for years, the thing is that you have to learn is, you never ever bring logic when it comes to Neon.

Logic is beyond Neon and you can never say logical thing to Neon, because Neon is logic. Does not make any sense, but it makes sense to Neon.

Well, I was pulled through, and landed on Neon’s bedroom floor. I still stick to my opinion on Neon’s room. That it is fucking awesome and more awesome then Pinkie Pie’s room.

Well, I looked around, so I could figure out where the fuck I was at, and I saw Neon looking through papers. My question is, that is Neon a business pony.

Well, I asked him that, and his response was, “I sometimes have to fill out paper work for the party shop. That and sometimes I sell my homemade cupcakes, which are organ-filled cupcakes on the black pony market. Sometimes I can’t be random all the time, ok?”

I was really surprised that Neon was self-aware of his randomness. I asked him this again on what the fuck is wrong with him, since he’s random and shit, and he said he doesn’t’ know what I was talking about, cut off a rabbits head, stuck up an old ladies asshole, and flew to the moon and had a party with moon crabs.

I was unaware that he had seen Apollo 18. Then again, it was a shitty movie, so, why the fuck would, I even care if he saw it or not.

In addition, I somehow checked on how Neon does this paper thing, which according to Neon that it doesn’t exist.

All I have to say is, he is half-right and half wrong. In addition, I still do not get it. Anyway, I have seen what he has done before, and he has these little reading classes and just sits there with an ok expression on his face, calm, which is like seeing a miracle happen.

Well, anyway, when I was seeing this, ‘scene’, he was sitting there at his desk, filling out paper work and saying that a check had to be filled out as a business expense.

That and the owner’s wife calling him from downstairs to make sure he dropped off something, and when that happened, Neon just looked like he just wanted to kill her or was tired.

I could tell, because Neon had those killing look in his eyes. Then, he said he was done and then randomly teleported outside, grabbed a women’s baby, ate him, and shit him out.

Then that shit turned to solid gold bricks, and which the woman took the gold and forgot about the baby.

Then Neon when to Earth, mugged a black guy that was mugging a white chick at the same time, while that chick was mugging a baby, while that baby was jacking off, while the picture was an Apple.

Moreover, well, eventually Neon found what he was looking for, which was his calendar.

I saw his calendar and it is filled with so many dates, it is unbelievable.

In addition, why the fuck am I thinking about that one song that had that one lyric, go, ‘you’re unbelievable.’

God that was annoying song. I think it was in the 90’s. Oh well, I’m not on Earth, so I shouldn’t even give a fucking dam about it. So, yea. I also saw other dates on Neon’s calendar, as in, be random, mess around with Knight, go to Craig McCracken’s house and hang out, stalk Lauren Faust, kill some pony, go to planet Random to visit Family, have a moon party wit moon crabs, and a whole bunch of other shit.

I do have to admit, I am surprised that he stalks Lauren Faust and he has a date set up for that.

That just seems fucking creepy in my opinion. That and he goes to Planet Random to visit family. Well, what family? I mean, he pretty much killed his crack head sister if you recall, one of his brother is an Emo who said he would kill his family and shit, so yea.

Perhaps that little fucker already did kill his family at that point in time. I’m also surprised that he messes with me and he has a date for that.

I even tried to mess up with his dates on his calendar once, but let me just tell you, you should never ever try to do it.

What happened to me was that I had a burglar mask on and all in black and shit, and I broke in, trying to ‘fix’ Neon’s calendar, but for some reason, he was waiting for me.

I was about to write shit down, but he was right behind me in the shadows. He slowly came up to me, just as the liquid terminator did in the terminator 2 and whispered in my ear very creepily, ‘You want to have a party Knight? Cause I will fucking kill you if you ever change my calendar again you little shit.”

He also said this with a smile on his face. He reminds me of the joker. In addition, that is bad.

Well, he said that and I was officially scared of him for life. He is that scary and my god, never ever fuck with Neon, he will kick your ass. He is so creepy; he lives in your nightmares.

Oh well, that was a nice scary story to tell and hopefully I did not scare you to death. Well, I saw the calendar, as Neon was looking at the calendar, and I noticed the Crack McCracken date thing, and I asked him about it. I said, “Neon? May I ask why the fuck do you have, ‘visit Craig McCracken’ on your calendar?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we’re friends.” I then said, “What do you mean by friends?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we’ve been friends for 7 years. Just about how long you have been living in this universe. It’s a long story on how we met. He has not come to this universe. I just go and visit him in his house.”

I then had a shocked look on my face and asked, “Does Lauren Faust know about your existence!?”

Then Neon said, “Nope. Only Craig knows. However, we were planning on telling her once the timing is right.”

Then I said, “What do you mean?”

Then Neon replied with, “Well, when you just happen to bring some stuff that can calm her down when we tell her.”

I then had a questioning look on my face and I asked Neon, “Wait. You told Craig about me?”

Then Neon said, “yup. Everything about you. How you were once a human and the portals. Everything. In fact, Craig hasn’t stop asking about you and wants to see if you could come over sometime.”

Then I was about to yell at Neon for just blowing my cover, but I then stopped in thought for a moment. I then thought about it, and I just had a puzzled look on my face.

I then said to Neon, “Sure. I wouldn’t mind meeting him sometime.”

Then Neon said, “That’s the sprit! Now let’s see what it is today.”

I only agreed to meet him because, well, it is quite fucking obvious. I mean, Craig McCracken, the one who worked on Fosters home.

That and he is the husband of Lauren Faust, so I guess that is interesting. Well, it is, since she is pretty much the queen of the Bronies and is the creator of the show. She even has red hair.

The thing is about that; she is not ginger, so that makes it even more special for the audience. Why the fuck do I feel like looking at the fourth wall?

Now that I mention it to myself while writing this down, I’m starting to remember that thing how Neon is now god of this universe.

I mean, just to let you know, that there is a god in this universe, and it is quite fucking obvious that it is Lauren Faust’s OC pony, Fausticorn.

However, I am starting to wonder, does that mean…. No. that that cannot be true. Then again, it all depends on what your point of view of things is. I mean, you would first of to go to the first signs of life in the universe and see how it was done.

It’s a little weird and I’m starting to feel like the Neon is the father of Fausticorn.

However, surprisingly, I thought about this before, and by technical standards, he is sort of the grandfather or great grandfather actually.

It is hard to explain, but I will explain it once we get there. Therefore, yea, Neon is god of this universe by technical standards. In other words, that would explain why he went to purgatory and had his dick sucked.

I also find it interesting that Neon is god, and he does not give two shits about it. It just surprises me that he does not give a flaming fuck about it, while the rest of us would. Either we would be happy, surprised, or just plain shocked about it.

Whatever, Neon is Neon and I should not complain about it. I rather of an OC pony be god then a psychopathic killer.

Don’t you agree? In addition, just to clear some thoughts in your head, yes, Celestia and Luna are the children of god in this universe.

It just rather surprises me how the Bronies got it right with the memes and all. Funny, isn’t it?

However, there is something that I have to say, before you guys get confused in the future as we go on with my story about my life and my adventure through the universes.

What I need to mention is, well, there is more to the god thing and god’s children. Let us just say, it’s complicated to explain right now.

Just saying before anyone jus burns the book in a fire that I worked so hard, on when it gets to earth, because they are confused about this.

The human who finds this might just think this story is just to troll someone. Well, it took Neon a while, but he actually found what he was looking for on his calendar.

Apparently, the reason why there was no one in town because everyone in Stalia was at the park.

Neon said, “Holy sweet mother fucking cookie elephant black baby Jesus! We’re going to be late! We’ll be Late! For a very important Date.”

Then Neon killed a rabbit that was holding a pocket watch. Where Neon got that from I have no idea. In fact, where does his stuff comes from anyway? Note to self, check where Neon’s warehouse full of stuff is hidden.

I then told Neon, “Why did you just reference Alice in Wonderland and what are we late for?”

Then Neon said, “Well, the bunny was here with the pocket watch, and we are late, so I had too. Also, we’re late for the annual Stalia Day!”

I then asked Neon, “Stalia day?”

Then Neon said, “Well, it’s more of a meeting for it, but yeah, Stalia Day. It’s when everyone has fun, have a picnic, do crack, fuck each other, kill some pony, or just play games to celebrate Stalia pride.”

I then said, “What did you say about killing some pony.”

Then Neon said, “Oh nothing. Nothing at all. There is no need to worry my pony friend.”

Then Neon turned around and whispered to himself, “Soon. Soon, I shall kill you Mop Star. You always beat me in the horseshow toss every year. Well, not this time. This time, it seems that you will die before you even step a single hoof at the park. Then, I’ll shall be champion.”

Then Neon did an evil laugh and had a mustache on him. Neon even had some lighting going on in his room.

I’m telling you man, that Satlia has more of a budget for shit then Ponyville. I mean, did you ever see this kind of stuff in Ponyville before? Nope. I am starting to feel a little pride for Satlia as well here, just to let you know.

Well, Neon saw me just staring at him, with a confused look on my face, wondering why he said what he said. I then asked Neon “Who is Mop Star?”

Then Neon said, “An old pony friend that will have a little surprise in his coffee tomorrow morning.”

Then Neon did another evil laugh and then said, “Let’s go to the meeting then, shall we?”

Neon and I then walked out of his room and went down stairs. I was the last one to go down the steps, and as I was going down, I believed I heard a cry for help.

I went towards the noise, found a door under the staircase, and opened it. What I saw as a pony that was tied down to a chair and had duck tape on his mouth.

Then I asked Neon, “Uhhhhh…. Neon, why the fuck do you have a pony under the stairs?”

Then Neon said, “Oh, don’t mind him. I just have him there for a little experiment.”

I then said to Neon, “Neon, if it is to harvest his organs for cupcakes, you realize you got Ponyville, right?”

Then Neon said, “Oh no. it’s nothing like that, although, I do have a list of names for Ponyville. I have him here for an experiment, to see how long it would take a human in a pony’s body that reads a lot of bad fan fiction, will break down and commit suicide.”

I then stared at Neon with a shocked face and said “Neon! You kidnapped a human!?”

Then Neon said, “Well, if you want to put it that way, yes! I kidnapped him in his sleep. His name on Earth was called TheKnight21js! Well, at least that is what it said on his computer. Me and a Pinkie Pie in another universe who is also working with Rainbow Dash, are working together to see if our theories are correct. I bring him to that Pinkie’s universe, and so him and another human, named cartsbeforehorses, along with Twilight of that universe, can read bad fan fics, and see who will brake down first and commit suicide. However, Pinkie wants me to get more humans, so I’m just going to kidnap his friends. I believe their names are KillingFrenzyCreator, Ultumateous, and TheWatcher509. I’m planning to kidnap them in their sleep one night to bring them here, so I may begin the process of bad fan fics, with that other pony universe. Oh well, let’s go now.”

I just stood there, shocked at what I heard from Neon. I then decided to not to question it, since, Neon is Neon. There, I said it.

Well, Neon and I then walked outside, and I then asked him, “Wait a second. Why wasn’t I notified that there was a meeting for Stalia day?”

Then Neon said, “well, let me try to explain it the best way for you. You don’t exactly act like a pony. I mean, you look like one, and you sort of act like one, but not naturally though. You just need to get that natural instinct of being a pony Knight.”

I then said to Neon, “I don’t act natural as a pony? What do you mean?”

Then Neon said, “Well, for one thing, you curse way too much then a pony should curse. I mean, we do curse a lot, but we have our limits.”

Neon was right on that. I recall that during my adventures through the portals, I never cursed as much as I did now.

I then said to Neon, “So, other ponies think I’m weird that way?”

Then Neon said, “Well, not exactly. They do think it is weird, but they believe that you have an excuse for it. It’s Wolf Knight. Wolf is the excuse.”

I then asked Neon, “What the fuck does Wolf have to do with my large amounts of cursing?”

Then Neon said, “Well, Timber wolves are not the most polite creatures Knight. However, that doesn’t mean that they can’t change into a polite creature, like those snooty rich people in Cantorlot. However, Wolf curses a lot, and ever since you’ve casted a spell on him to talk, you have gotten influenced by him to curse more without noticing?”

Neon was right. It’s like if my brain thought it was normal. Perhaps maybe it was because my brain was trying to adjust to this universe’s cultural or my brain worked in mysterious ways.

I’m not exactly sure why this happened, but all I can say is, Wolf was the cause, but that didn’t mean I was going to de-friend Wolf.

Although, I do have proof why Wolf is the cause. For one thing, at certain moments, I don’t really curse at all, to very little cursing. That also happens when Wolf is not around at all, but sometimes I can still curse a lot without Wolf, but it’s because I’m so used to cursing a lot, I didn’t see the difference.

It just seems when it gets to those serious moments, as in like those dreams that I have had in the past and they were like nightmares to me, I didn’t really cursed a whole lot.

Maybe those dreams had something to do with it perhaps.

Anyways, I then asked Neon “Is there anything else that I should know what I’ve been doing wrong?”

Then Neon said, “Why of course there is old sport. Of course there is, but there are multiple things to know, so I’ll tell you when you show out your flaws.”

I then said to Neon, “Did you just make a reference to The Great Gatsby?”

Then Neon said, “Why, whatever do you mean old sport? I mean, why would I ever go to a universe of Earth, kill Leonardo DeCaprio, and steal his memories of his acting career?”

I then just stared at Neon for a few seconds, and Neon said, “Let’s go to the meeting shall we?”

then Neon led the way to the park. At the time, I was starting to feel like Neon would be my only trusted friend. Although, there was still a question left unanswered.

If Neon did not like humans so much, why didn’t he just kill me when he knew I was a human in the first place? Then again, he did visited Craig McCracken, but there are two theories to that.

One, well, he his the husband of the creator of MY Little Pony, so that’s obviously a reason why he didn’t kill him. However, that would not explain why he did not kill me.

The second theory I had was that not all humans are bad, which is true. However, that would mean that Neon saw something in me that was not trust to human nature, and more friendly.

Kind of like how Celestia founded me and how she saw something special in me.

However, that was because of my strong magic, or maybe, perhaps that is what Neon saw in me as well. My strong magic capabilities. Although, you do have to question, what does it mean?

Why do I have such strong magic then Celestia and Luna combined? There were just too many questions left unanswered at the time. I mean, I have a stronger magic, then God’s children.

That’s like being more powerful then Jesus. That, and if you are ever stronger than him, then god would send down the 10 plagues and there would be pissed off Christens at your doorstep, with shotguns and holding bibles.

Then telling you that you are wrong and they just end up shoving it down your throat, and you just end having a nice massacre with christens and then you have to clean up the blood.

On top of that, you have to put the body parts in acid, and you do not have big enough bathtubs to do it, so you do it in the ocean. Then the acid kills the animals and then you have PETA on your ass and you kill them and shit goes down.

I’m sorry, I was just talking about a life experience I had once when I accidentally showed off my powers in public. It is a long story and let’s just say, it involved turning back time and erasing memories and there was a lot of trouble to go through just to fix it.

Well, it is in the past and I have a lot of blood on my hooves. Anyways, Neon and I walked to the park, and there was a big gathering around a stage and all.

I could see my friends were there at the front, and Neon and I were stuck in the back. I did somehow noticed what my other friends were saying at the time, because, you know, my ability o go into the past by opening portals and finding out what happened and shit.

Well, about around the time when Neon and I got there, my friends were talking.

Forest said, “Does any pony know if they have seen Neon and Knight around anywhere?”

Then Arrell said, “No, why”

Then Forest said, “Well, aren’t they supposed to be here and all. I mean, they are citizens of Stalia, so they should be here to set up the games and stuff.”

Then Jack said, “I wouldn’t worry about them. I’m sure they both of a reason of to why they are late. I mean, I have seen Neon’s stack of work papers, and it seems that he is busy with paperwork. Knight also seems busy, because I’ve noticed he hasn’t slept in days.”

Then Arrell asked, “How can you tell?”

Then Jack said, “I’ve seen the lights still on in his place at night. I also hear music as well sometimes, along with him singing a little. I think he is working on something and has been working on it non-stop. Perhaps something for the Princesses.”

Then Mac added a comment and said, “Well, I don’t care why they are late. As long as they are not helping Applejack, it’s fine.”

Then Forest asked, “When do you not hate your cousin Applejack. I mean, I know you two had a feud in the past, but how long are you going to have this grudge over her?”

Then Mac said “It will last until she apologizes for what she did to me.”

Then Arrell asked, “What did she do to you?”

Then Mac said, “My friend, you don’t want to know what she did.”

I’m sure that Mac was being a bit ridiculous there, because I’m sure it wasn’t anything bad that Applejack did. For the love of Celestia, she is the element of Honesty!

Well, Neon and me we’re all the way in the back, so we couldn’t see much, but there was the microphone of course, so at least we could hear good.

We were all waiting and eventually, the mayor of Stalia walked up to the podium and then said, “Welcome Stalia citizens! We are all here today so we can prepare for the events for tomorrow at the annual Stalia Day!”

Then the crowd cheered and then the mayor continued to talk. She then said, “We need to make sure we get everything done perfectly before tomorrow. We have received offer for help by Princess Twilight Sparkle, but I turned it down.”

I was a little shocked by that, because, it is one of the princesses and they offered help, and they turned it down. But I remembered that she and her friends did help them finish cleaning up winter, so I guess they didn’t want any more help so they are not embarrassed anymore I guess. In addition, the crowd cheered once more for that.

What was wrong with these ponies? Then one of the audience members said, “Yeah. I mean, we don’t need her help. Besides, we already have an element of something that lives in this town. He is even a personal student of Princess Celestia!”

Then they all cheered once ore looked at me. My only question is how did they know where to look? Perhaps Neon had something to do with it.

Well, every pony was looking at me, expecting me to say something, which I did. I said, “What do you have against Twilight? I mean, she is not bad and all. Sure, she can be annoying at times, but she’s not that bad. In fact, I would have gladly taken her help. Besides, I think you’re all just jealous that Ponyville has more attention then you and is more popular, since Twilight lives in that town.”

Then a random pony said, “No. that’s not true. We’re just proud that you’re here, a personal student that lives in a normal town and all.”

I then said, “Then how come when you enter Stalia, the ‘Welcome to Stalia’ sign has, “This is where the other elements live at. We’re better then Ponyville?”

Then another pony said, “Yeah, but we’re just telling any pony that comes into this town that there is important ponies here and we’re just proud of it.”

I then said, “Then how come I see a bunch of boxes that has merchandise that’s right behind the mayor and has our faces on coffee mugs and other useless shit?”

Then the mayor had a nervous face, and slowly pushed the box of shit away from him with his back leg and said, “Nooooooooooo. Why would we ever do such a thing?”

I then just stared everybody with a poker face, sort of. It is the look that you give when you know it’s stupid and shit.
Whatever, it was just a look.

Well, then I said, “I can see that box right behind you. I mean, I know that you guys have a grudge against Ponyville and all and…”

Then a pony cut me off and he said, “Actually, we have a huge grudge against them. I mean, before you came, we were about to go war with them, by giving them a Hugh surprise attack at dawn, like before Applejack woke up. You know, before she works on her apple shit. But when you came into town, and we found out that you are a personal student of Celestia, we thought we might have a chance at beating them.”

I then had a little shocked face on me, and asked Neon, “Is this true?”

Then Neon said, “Yup. I even had Planet Random on our side to attack. However, you are the only reason why we haven’t killed any pony from Ponyville yet, because we can sort of have competition against them, since you’re the personal student and all.”

I then asked Neon, “What competition?”

Then Neon said, “Well, it isn’t that much of a competition, but if you are a leader of a task force, which is me, you, and our other friends. We are like the Mane six of Stalia. The idea is this. If we can get enough ponies to recognize this town, more than Ponyville, then other ponies can stop by passing this town. Besides, the idea is already working.”

I then asked Neon, “How do you know?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we have more ponies living here and more money coming in. I mean, those papers you saw on my desk were never there before you came. Since you are here and the word about you has spread a little bit, you are getting a little well known in Equestria now. Not so much well known, but a little bit. In addition, if this keeps up, we can be better than Ponyville. We just have to save more lives.”

I then had a shocked confused face, and I then asked, “I’m famous, but how? Barley anyone knows me when I go to big cities like Manehatten or Las Pegasus. Moreover,… no, wait a second. Are you guys setting up situations, to where me, you and the other guys have to face, achieve whatever it is that we have to achieve from it, and get famous from it?”

Then Neon said, “Actually no. we would never do that and we let luck play the role. As in, if luck is on our side, then we let it be that way. However, if it is not, then we’re shit out of luck.”

That actually gave me a little relief. I mean, if they were responsible for everything that has happened to me while I was here, I was going to be pissed off.

I was going to kill every single pony here, except for my friends. Even though they are sort of also would’ve been responsible for this, I spent so much time with them, that I’m kind of bonded with them through friendship.

Friendship either is a bitch, magic, or is literally magic here. As in, the universe has casted a spell, and that we are friends because of a certain magic spell. I rather say that friendship is a bitch, but fuck it, I’m going to go with magic here.

Not the literally magic one, but as in, the subtitle from the show, where friendship is magic.

That also means Lauren Faust actually got something right. Then again, this is the show and that means laws and physics can sometimes change, so it could mean that since this universe was going off from the show, that’s the reason, why my friendship here was good.

That friendship will get you somewhere in life in this universe and its special and shit. It sort of made sense in a way.

It is so amazing how a kid’s show can bring so much meaning into an adult’s life. Yet, we were not taught this when we were kids.

Possibly because we were all doing crack and weed at the time. That are we were just taught bad morals and values from our parents, since they were from a different time period.

So, yea, that actually makes sense. Well, I then said to Neon, “So, if I’m famous, what am I famous for?”

Then Neon said, “Well, you are famous from your school that you went to and all.”

That was also a bit true. The thing is, I was actually popular at Celestia’s school. I mean every pony in that school knew me.

Mostly because I would throw kick ass parties and can do amazing spells that no pony else could cast. God, those days were amazing and one of the best times of my life.

I mean, I even made those songs by Daft Punk, although, the ponies thought it was all done by me and shit, but it was really done by Daft Punk.

However, they loved it so much, that they see me as a legend at that school. Sure, I was not an athlete or anything like those stereotypical popular kids, which is normally an athlete, being a douchebag, and a bodybuilder and shit, which is true and all.

I was just well known for my spells and music is all. Even Celestia got a little worry that I was not keeping up on my studies, but I proved myself worthy of being her personal student when I took her tests.

I still studied and shit and still passed, which impressed her. However, Wolf did offer me some ways to cheat just in case I did not my stuff, but of course I did it the truthful way.

However, Wolf did kill like three or four teachers just to get a cheat sheet and all. I am still surprised that Celestia has not realized that there are some missing teachers and they were murdered.

Murdered by a trolling asshole is a way you can put it. Speaking of Wolf. Wolf was also quite popular as well.

I mean, of course he was, since he is a talking Timber wolf. A timber wolf that most ponies are afraid of, for they fear a timber wolf will kill them. However, Wolf was a nice wolf.

Although, Wolf wasn’t exactly accepted at first. It took some time and most ponies got used to him. Nevertheless, when he started to talk, well, he was well known throughout the school.

Man, those were the days. Too bad, they are gone. Rather reminds me the days of when Cartoon Network used to be good. Oh well, I’ll kill Ted Tuner who ever runs Cartoon Network later after I write this chapter.

Note to self, use shot gun or burn him alive.

Ok, so let us move on with the story. Then I asked Neon, “Well, where else am I famous at?”

Then Neon said, “Well, you’re not that famous at Cantorlot, however, you are famous here in Stalia and Ponyville.”

Ok, so I agreed with him on the Cantorlot part. I mean, even though I went to school that was located over at Cantorlot and was well known at the school, didn’t mean I was famous in Cantorlot itself.

I mean, I was not exactly the most polite gentlecolt in the town. Then again, I did not really go outside of the school and took a look around Cantorlot.

Not that I was shy or was an indoor type of pony. However, it was mostly due to the fact tat the ponies that live in Cantorlot are mostly likely to be, dumbasses, ignorant, annoying, douchebags, and/or snooty France ponies. I mean, I didn’t want to get an argument, on how my manners or looks doesn’t appeal to a certain pony, and then end up killing him and a lot of other shit.

Such as paper work and explaining to Celestia that it was, a pony named Adam Sandler that did it. Yea, I killed so many ponies back in Cantorlot, they thought that whoever the pony that was doing it, a serial killer was.

That and there were so many dead bodies, you think it was the Holocaust or something. In addition, they gave the “killer” a nickname, which was, the rich pony killer. I was Jack the Ripper to Cantorlot to put it in more simple words.

I actually took pride in that title. However, I was drunk on Tequila when I took pride in it, along with some midnight weed.

In addition, in case if you remembered from last chapter, where I said that I was famous in Cantorlot. Yea, I sort of lied about that part. You see, you do crazy things when you mix mentos and weed together, along with diet coke.

That and Tequila as well. Also, just to let you know, it was a bet made by Wolf, to where he made bet I could not consume metos and Diet Coke, and Tequila, as well as smoking weed all at once.

I also won that bet. Although, Celestia was a little upset with me when I did it, because let us just say, the effects of what I drink and smoke was bad. As in, almost like insane bad. What you read though was sort of an after effect, where there was still little left of the effect and shit.

As for being famous in Ponyville, that was also true. Then again, it is a small village and such, and with small towns, most people know everyone. I mean every time I go to Ponyville, they know my name and sometimes say hi and what not.

They also sometimes trust me, Twilight to protect the town if anything bad happens, and other shit. Now sure, why I wrote that down, but I guess I was trying to say was that they know my powerful magic ability.

However, I am just known to be a nice stallion and a pony that will come to one’s help if in need in Ponyville.

In Stalia, well, I am fucking sure that it’s quite obvious that I don’t need to mention a single word about it.

I then asked Neon, “Is there any place else am I famous at?”

Then Neon said, “Well, if you recall of the events that happened back in Planet random, you got the powers just like I do and you’re a very high rank on the planet, so, you’re famous there.”

I wish that wasn’t true. I mean, I did not want to do with anything with Planet Random anymore. I didn’t even want to step a hoof on the planet, but sadly it happen.

I mean, I was like a god to those people back on Planet Random. They also respected me and I was rather treated with royalty.

In addition, I got all of this, for just simply asking for my friend’s power back to the council of Random, and instantly getting powers that Neon should have gotten. What the fuck is wrong with that planet, I don’t know what.

Although, it is random, so I guess that makes some sense in a sense.

Also, when Neon said, events on planet Random, every pony else turned their head around and started to ask, ‘What is he talking about.’ I then said, “Well, it’s sort of hard to explain. You see…..”

Then Neon cut me off, and whispered into my ear, “Stay quiet about that Knight. No pony needs to know what happened on that planet, nor of its existence.”

Well, I thought our cover was blown, so I thought I had to tell.

Well, then Neon said, to every pony else, “It’s nothing. Just a little adventure that is very boring and not interesting at all.”

Neon also said that in a nervous tone. Then every pony let out a sound when you your hopes are up and then it is shot down and you’re disappointed.

I then said, “Why the fuck did you all do that?”

then a random pony said, “Well, we were hoping that you had some sort of story that could boosts up this towns and your popularity.”

I then thought, ‘they want an adventure story so they can have more popularity? They are not getting thing from me.

I mean, I really just do not give a flaming fuck if they need one or not. Then again, if it gets them off my back, then sure, maybe one will do it. Maybe I should tell them about the hangover adventure.

Not sure why, but, I rather not talk about anything else, like the adventure that I had in Manehatten. Besides, I don’t know how Twilight would react if she found out that some pony wanted to kill her, that she didn’t get a Gala ticket from her.

Nor do I know how Celestia would react, because for one thing, she thought I was in Stalia, learning something about friendship.

Then again, I did tell her about the bar fight. However, I did fight three pony robots, or was that two?

I do not know though. They are all the same to me, just like the zebras. I cannot tell them apart. I also killed a pony.

I also drugged Twilight, so I don’t think I want that story to be out to the entire country of Equestria. That and Twilight won’t trust me anymore because of that.

She will not trust spike as well, since he raped her and all. I just remembered that I’m talking to myself in my mind.

Or more like thinking. Man I have some weird or long thoughts going on here. Maybe I can sing another old 80’s song. Maybe I can.

However, what good 80’s song is there to sing about in my head? I do not really know. What about 90’s? Then again, most music sucked.

Not all songs sucked, but most. Maybe I should sing a song from the era of America when everyone got high.

A 60’s/70’s song would do me some good. Then again, it’s mostly the beetles. Fuck it, I’ll just sing a random 80’s song, no matter what it is.

‘’We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind.

Because your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well they are no friends of mine. I say, we can go where we want. A place that they will never find. And, we can act as we come out of this world, leave the real one far behind. In addition, we can dance. We can dance if we want to. We can leave friends behind. ‘’

Now that was a decent 80’s song. Fuck it. I will do another random 80’s song, for I am bored in my mind.

Man, this thought has been going on for a good while, just like my last adventure.

This is a nice place to be at and to get away from all of my troubles. I also find a sort of an echo in my head when I ever speak to myself. This is fucking awesome.

As long as Neon does not try to read my mind, I’ll be good. Now let us get to that other random 80’s song.

‘’ I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone. All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity. Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind. Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see. ‘’

Wait a second. Dust in the wind wasn’t from the fucking 80’s. Oh well, I’ll try one more time at this. Although, how do I know Dust in the wind?

I only heard it once in my life, and it was in Family guy. Oh well, all the song is to me is dust in the wind to me anyway.

Did I just make a pun there? My god, I’m starting to become one of the ponies now, for they also too make puns.

I wonder if I mention this to Neon, he would say that it’s natural for ponies to come up with puns. Perhaps maybe that is true.

Then again, what the fuck do I know? I’ve only been here for 7 years and I still don’t know how to act as a proper pony. Oh well, let us get to that song.

‘’ Say you, say me say it for always, that’s the way it should be. Say you, Say me, say it together, naturally. I had a dream, an awesome dream. People in the park playing games in the dark. And what they played, was a masquerade. And from behind of walls of doubt avoice was crying out. ‘’

Wait a second, that was an 80’s love song. Well, at least it isn’t annoying then getting Rick Rolled.

At least that’s something. Oh well, I’ll try next time to not fuck up with the love songs of the past. However, at least I have to sing as a black guy would back in the 80’s.

Man, black people were interesting back in those days. Too bad, they are gone. Then again, from time to time, they can still be interesting, but that’s if you catch them at the right moment.

Man, I thought this through my head very fast apparently, because it is about my turn to talk.

How is this even possible? Oh well, I should possibly get out of my mind and talk with the ponies and shit.’

I really do have long thoughts, don’t you agree? I mean, to be honest with you, I can also think this very fast, such as Twilight in one particular universe that I went to one time.

However, in that alternate universe, it had Twilight, who was an alicorn, having sex, or fucking I should say, with a cloud.

I was greatly disturbed, but yet, I have Neon, and I believe I’m used to being disturbed by now. Oh well then, let us move on with this conversation, because I’m starting to run out of ink, and it’s late at night at Cantorlot castle.

I mean, I’m in my room right now, Celestia and Luna are asleep, and they thought I went to bed like 5 hours ago. I mean, I really don’t want to go out into the hallways, go get ink, for I fear I may disturb the Royal sisters and their slumber.

Well, technically not Luna, for she is busy going into others dreams and helping them.

I mean, they would be rather pissed off at me if they found out that I wasn’t asleep. I mean, trust me, if you knew how long I spent here in this universe, you would understand that you never ever want to piss them off. I pissed them off a couple of times before, and lets just say, things didn’t go so well.

In addition, there was a lot of dead pony bodies as a result of it, well, at least for some of the problems that happened. I’m just wasting ink right now just writing what is currently happening to me right now aren’t I?

Then again, I guess I can just refill it with my magic, but I don’t feel like creating a spell that refills ink.

Besides, it’s three at night for me right now. Maybe I could bribe one of the guards to get me some ink. Hold on a second while I go get a guard to do this shit for me.

*Get’s up to go to open the door and sees a guard right near his door. Knight says a few things to him and bribes him to get him some ink. Then comes back*

Ok, so I just bribed a guard. As I am waiting for that ink, let’s move on with the story.

Well, I then said, “Well, maybe I could tell you about a Hangover Adventure that I had and…”

I then saw Jack and Mac having nervous faces on, and Jack using that symbol way or signal I should say, to shut the fuck up and keep quiet about it.

Also, when I said adventure, it seemed that every other citizen of Stalia had their hopes up for getting a little popularity boost.

Then Jack came up to me, and said to a soft voice, loud enough for me to hear, but no pony and I else, “No pony needs to know about what we did Knight. Including the part where we pretty much fucked up everything.”

I also agreed. Besides, remember those pictures I told you about and how it was more wrong then the hangover? Well, a few pictures were me, Jack, and Mac trashing Cantorlot Castle.

I even remember when Celestia found her castle destroyed; she asked me if I would have known anybody who did it.

She asked me, because apparently, on the walls, written in the guard’s blood that we killed, but only to gain access into the castle, and apparently I wrote it, and it said, “Fuck You Trollesitia, you ruined Knight’s life.”

Apparently, I also wrote on the wall, “Knight is best pony.”

Well, I do have to admit though, that I am best pony. I mean, sure, there is Neon and he is random, and Forest for being… whatever he is.

With Mac, well, he is a little fucked up in the head, while Arrell is ok, and Jack, is a gentlecolt. Therefore, yea, I am best pony. In fact, I’m Knoghtolicious.

And just to say it more, I’m K to N to I-G-H-T-O-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. that’s right I’m Knightolcious.

I’m also better then all yawl, including the Mane six as well, and the other mane six. Which is my friends.

Therefore, yea, there you go fans of me. I wonder if the people back on earth would say that I am best pony, and having cool swag of me and awesome quotes or something on T-shirts.

That would be awesome. In fact I would buy it, because I’m best pony. And apparently, since I am saying these words as I am writing them down, my friends want to have a bit of a turn on the journal thing here.

I also have no fucking clue why they are here at night at Cantorlot castle, so don’t ask about that part and how it doesn’t make sense. Here’s Neon first.

Hello and this is your best pony, Neon Party! Of course, all of you think that I am best pony. I mean, I am well known and a hero on Planet Random, I am a god like being, and I created the universe.

I’m also a fun guy. So what the fuck are you waiting for then!? Come on up and show your allegiance to your fellow Team Neon, for I am best pony!

And for those who don’t see me as best pony, then it looks like I have more ingredients for my new batch of cupcakes, that or to haunt in your nightmares.

Why hello there, and I wasn’t planning on doing this, but since that I found out that Knight sees himself as bets pony, I thought I should throw my two cents into the ring here.

He’s not best pony. I am obviously. I mean, I can make some nice classy suits for you all and I drink beer and shit.

In addition, I do other shit that you will like about me. In fact, I wrote a little song about. In a big band type style… I think.

There is many teams to choose from.
There’s teams Knight and teams Neon.
There is Team Mac, Forest, and even Arrell.
There are even those shitty teams, like team Edward and Jacob, that we all hope all die whoever is in that team.
However, the is one team, that is the best of all.
The team that is greater and shines bright.
The team is the one that is the champion and will shoot the lawyers of Queen, because we just sort of stole a quote from them.
And that team is, Team Jack.
The team is the best of them all now.
We are a classy team now.
Fuck Knight and Neon too.
They both can suck my dick and go to hell.
Forest can stick a splintery post up his asshole while a robot fucks him in the asshole.
While Mac trots up to his cousin Applejack and they both get in a fight.
They then beat each other to a bloody pulp and they both kill each other.
With Arrell and he can go fuck himself along with his teenage breeding sex drive crazy animals.
I also know a black guy so of course that makes me cool.
I also have a little brother too, but clearly no one gives a fuck about that.
So join team Jack. The classiest team around.
We can be polite,
While we still have our manner, but we can still have a few drinks, and drink till we’re fucked.
That is how cool our team really is.
We can all have a hangover together, along as we don’t do that we will regret of.
So what you waiting for, don’t just sit there and read the story, and join Team Jack!

I don’t know why I am even fucking doing this, but fuck it, I am best pony.

But if Rainbow Dash is best pony, then I guess I can agree with you on that one perhaps, but really I am bets pony, because, come on man! I have fucking fire and I am like the male version of Rainbow dash and shit.

Therefore, whatever join team Forest or I’ll go and burn your house down.

I have nothing really much to say other then that I am best pony. I also have sexually active animals if that changes anything at all.

Join me my brothers and sisters! For I am best pony! Then, we can go and fight the pure evil Applejack and shit.

Then, we shall be free of her bullshit! Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as brothers and sisters!

In addition, I will shoot all the Disney lawyers, since I said a copyrighted star wars quote.

Back To Knight…
Well, that is from them, but we all know who is best pony. That’s me, Knight, of course. I mean, come on. I’m better than those others and shit.

I mean, I’m mother fucking Knight and shit. Well, as I was saying before, was that when I was told not to tell the story of my adventure with me, Mac, and Jack and how we had our hangovers.

I then told every pony, “Well, ok, maybe not that story.”

I then returned to my mind to try my best to think of something else. ‘Ok, let’s see what else is there. Well, the only one that I can think of is the one thing from Manehatten, but that was different and shit.

Fuck it, as long as it will keep them off of my back and shit. know what? Since this is my head again, I might as well try to do those 80’s song.

‘’ What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more. Baby don’t hurt me, don’ hurt me, no more. What is love? Yeah. Oh, I don’t know why you’re not there. I give you my love, but you don’t care. So what is right, and what is wrong. Gimmie a sign. ‘’

Wow, what a classic song. That and very good it rather makes you forget about an apocalypse and shit.

I also remember the song from certain Brony You tube videos.

It is where he You Tube Poops is fucking crazy as shit man. Yea, that is a good song.

Then the punch line is that mouth and the eye balls that says, ‘ I’m firing my lazar!’, and then he does. What other 80’s song I can also do and sing fast in my head. I got it!

‘’ Baby, don’t understand. Why we can’t just live long to each other’s hands. This time might be the last time, I fear. Unless I make it all too clear. I need you so. Take these broken wings and learn to fly again. Learn to live so free. When we hear the voices sing, the book of love will open up and let us in. Take these broken wings. ‘’

Why the fuck do I know about the 80’s love songs? Oh well, as I said before once in my head, the 80’s were mostly about love.

Then again. Everyone was on crack back in the 80’s, so I don’t understand. Unless they were singing their love for crack, then that would make sense.

I wonder, is there black people crack and white people crack. Where regular crack would be the classic white, while the black people crack would be either brown or black.

Then again, if that ever happened, the kkk, would be saying that the black crack is bad, but they then snort it up and fuck each other with a rods dick. What the fuck did I just say?

Well, my mine does think some weird things sometimes. Fuck it; I think I made everything a lot worse in my head.

Then again, I feel like there is an audience who is reading my mind, as in reading it in words right this very moment.

Maybe I should not try to think about it. I don’t think I want to break the fourth wall and destroy the universe again, sense it seems to me that I am now bounded to Planet Random.

Oh well, fuck it. I’ll think of another’s 80’s song.

‘’ out where the river broke the Blackwood and the desert oak Holden wrecks and boiling diesels steam in forty-five degrees. The time has come to say fair’s fair to pay the rent, to pay our share. The time has come, a fact’s a fact. It belongs to them, let’s give it back. How can we dance if our earth is turning? How can we sleep if our beds are burning? ‘’

Wow, that was a good 80’s song. Too bad, I don’t know when in the 80’s but like I give a dam about it.

Then again, how can you sleep if your bed is burning? I mean, of fucking course there’s the obvious reason of course, but at the same time, why the fuck would you want to set your bed on fire.

Maybe a kkk member did it. Maybe he thought he was tired of burning the cross of whatever those white fucking assholes do and decided to burn a fucking bed.

That would make sense I guess, in some sort of way. You know what, it does make sense. It makes a whole lot of sense to burn your fucking bed. Then again who said they were going to burn there bed?

I bet it was Willie fucking Nelson. I always had a suspicion if him wanting to burn stuff. Like how he burned his horse.

No, wait, Willie never killed his horse by setting it on fire. I killed it by cocaine with it.

Yes, I remember that glorious day of doing crack with a mental retarded horse. I had so much fun. We snorted until the cows came home, which was about 15 minutes that took the cows to come back.

I mean, I just set those cows free to distract Willie Nelson so I could do cocaine with it’s horse.

Then again why did I do it in the first place? now I remember. My Lego batman creation character got me hooked on crack, but ever since I