Prologue: Cold, remote, silent, those are the words that could describe this place of such amazement. This place was mysterious to everyone who felt its weird presence of mysterious silence.
However this tale I am about to bestow on you is not a fairy tale, but of a tale like no other. Once upon a time, there existed a portal that could lead to the outside of the universe.
There lied an area, a room some might say that led to other universes, but all it led to was death and destruction if not used properly. Some would use these universes for good, while others would use it for their own selfish needs.
However, in a way, this is like temptation, a deadly sin found in the bible. A sin of temptation of women and money, but this was a temptation of desires and dreams.
All it was but darkness, but at the end of the tunnel there was light. A light that had everything connected in its wake, and even showed the good of everything. Many would think of this place as a dream come true, a chance to do what they always wanted to do in their life.
However, in truth it is a curse upon many, a curse of death and regret. A curse of rebirth and sorrow. A curse of testing your will against anything, a curse of everything. It is not a gift, but only of a curse.
What lies within this room that is known as outside of the universe, lies nothing but darkness. It has led to many things as of a dearing mother losing her child, a company being destroyed, hidden secrets, memories that only lead to hurt others, greed, and even insanity.
However, insanity is the only thing that can keep you alive in this world, for it is a dangerous world indeed. However, this tale has much more than that, but of a tale of a quest to search for the answer of life.
A tale of an individual that only wants to have a good time, but fate will decide if that ever happens. Come in and have a seat, as you read a tale of his life story.
Grab a drink, or a snack or two of some kind as you read into his insanity. But do not be blind as you read, for there is much more within these words of his life story, as many others as well.
There are many tales to be told of this place, but let this be the first of many.
I have lost so much. I have lost my faith, my friends, and even my family. I have lost so much in my life, it would make a man kill himself than living this nightmare.
I had no intentions for things to turn out this way, but this portal just makes me do things I rather not do. I don’t even have my own will for god’s sake. This portal keeps drawing me back in, like I’m missing a piece to a puzzle that doesn’t exist. I knew I should have listen to them…all of them…all of my friends when they were still there.
As I sit here, in a sleazy hotel, god knows where in another country, far, far away from Equestria and the place that I used to call home. A place where they speak a langue that I can't even fucking speak. IT's some kind of ponified brazil or some shit. All I know is that I woke up with a headache. However I cannot forget what happened last night either.
I remember I was lying down in a pile of rubble, nothing but destruction of poor souls and bad ponies who could think they could get away with whatever they want. I was lying down on some bricks while someone was begging me to put them out of their pain and misery as they were on fire. As I sat up to look around me, I saw nothing but burnt bodies with a particular odor that would make someone puke from within and wish they could choke on it so they wouldn’t have to see what cannot be unseen.
Then I saw someone, limping away from me. His right forearm has been burnt off with burned skin and scars across his entire body. He was afraid of me, as he was trying to run away.
Soon he turned his head towards me and looked at my eyes with fear, as he knew he had been beaten. Soon I used my magic and grabbed a gun out and slowly walked towards him. Sadly the pony fell and was afraid of the death that was upon him.
I then saw him close his eyes as he was on the ground, waiting for me to kill him and put a bullet in his head. Even I was ready to put a hole through his head, or perhaps shoot him in some other spot where it hurts, so I could watch him bleed to death as he begs me to finish him off. Then again, he should have expected me to do this, to go after him, to make him suffer after what he did to me. After all he had put me through. He should have expected me to put him through hell as I enjoy every last second of it. It was the only thing he left me anyways, so why not take it and enjoy the revenge while it lasts. Besides, he was a bad pony after all, burning others alive while killing parents in front of their children. Then again, I've seen worse, so all that made him was nothing more but a guy who just thought he could kill me. To me, all he was just a poor soul who made the wrong mistake of messing with me. Especially after what I've been through lately.
I knew he was the bad guy, as he saw me as the bad guy as well. However how could I tell if he was evil. I know I could tell right from wrong, I wanted good things to happen. But then again, perhaps he was right. Perhaps I was the bad guy. Perhaps he wanted to do good in his own eyes. I’ll admit he was right, I couldn’t even tell when someone had intentions of murdering someone and someone who just wanted a friend at a bar late at night when you want to drink your pain away. Or when someone wanted to help the poor or banging my sister. Then I blacked out, not remembering what happened next. I must have stumbled into a hotel later that night, because I woke up with a headache.
Now I’m just by my window with the blinds closed, but with Celestia’s orange sun breaking through the cracks, while I’m drinking the pain away as I write this down.
I honestly have no idea what to do right now. In fact I rather just die, but I still have a few friends out there, still alive, and so I need to keep going... for them.
However, all I can say is this is so much better than being a human, than being on Earth with all the rest of the poor souls, even if it does come with a few moments where you end up at the wrong side of the gun, it comes with the territory.
I remember when I was merely but a small child, I always wanted to be special. To be someone that not a single soul was on that damn planet.
I was told everyone was special, but special is such a vague term, that it could mean anything. It could mean you’re a genius, or a deformed monster that not even your parents want to look at you every day.
They also call it a gift as I am told, but a gift is nowhere near close to what I would describe humans. I know I was once one of them, but I know who I am.
Humanity is nothing but a waste of precious life. Everyone says that they chose their own paths, but really, they all walk the same path, as I have walked my own path. I have found a few exceptions of course, but sadly, their kind is gone, forever to be forgotten by time itself, at least for me that is.
I have heard many say to live life and have fun with it. I have heard where you only live once. What a bunch of fucking bullshit that comes out of their mouths. Those people do not know a single thing about life. They don’t know how to live it at all.
They think they’re just living their life while they’re young, being rebels and let loose. Well let me tell you something, life isn’t about that. Life is more of a curse. Being human is a curse within itself. Hell, living anything where you can feel any kind of pain is a nightmare on the long term of things.
Life doesn’t have to be so bad though, as how I could have lived but sadly it never worked out that way for me. It just seems that the curse has still an effect on me right now, but surely it will all go away.
However humanity is nothing but of a curse, a sad, pathetic, unworthy curse. A curse filled with sins and regret.
I have also noticed how most of humanity eventually finds love…well I ask you this, WHAT IS LOVE!? All it is just nothing but to break your heart and get in your way.
But then again that might just be the pills and the alcohol talking.
I never saw love that way. Love can get in the way sometimes, even though it feels good to love. But even then it'll just leave your heart broken one way or another. Someone eventually die and leaves you or they break your heart cause they don't love you no more.
Of course, many of you are possibly thinking that I am a fool, but in truth, you are all the fools. Fools that are playing a game they cannot win, life itself. I can't even fucking win.
Life is just full of lectures, those who only see as to be strict and live by the rules, while others live loosely. Some give up on life, while others believe to live it to the fullest.
We are all fools, from the mentally retards to the most smart of all minds. From the mentally insane to sanity. We are all fools who cannot win.
For me on the other hand, I have a chance to win maybe, but unless all is fixed, the odds are not in my favor. It's a longshot, but I'll take anything by this point.
So you may ask yourself, what has happened to my life? How did I get to this point in my life, where I’m drinking the pain away with liquor and writing down my memories? Or perhaps some other version of me is writing this down in a state of looking back on what happened with fondness. The possibilities are almost endless.
Well, it’s a very long story, it may seem none as an illusion at first, but in the end, everything burns down, and the sad part is, many would watch everything burn down. Even the mentally sane do when they think they're the good guys.
So, where should we begin? I don't remember too much from my very beginning, it has all but become a blur to me and my mind, but I'll try my best to crank the old noggin. There are three parts here and let’s just start off here, as in where I am from. Well, for one thing I’m human. I once lived on Earth and I’ve got to be honest here, didn’t have much to live for.
For one thing, I was a teenager in high school. I was about 15 years of age while only having a friend or two, just the typical people who you would maybe drink with at a bar every week, nothing special. I don't even remember their names or faces. I had no girlfriend to gawk over, I passed all my classes, even though I never felt I learned anything worth my time. I never had much of anything other than my time and my life. But despite having all the basic necessities of living, I still fucked up in the end and made many mistakes back then.
I didn't even have a car. That just shows how pathetic my life was. However, I realized something. I realized something about life. That life is a game.
However, at the same time life is like hell. We’re pretty much living hell right now aren’t we? I mean, with all the wars, starvation, famines, murder, corruption, and a whole bunch of other shit you probably refuse to hear, you must wonder, why? Well, that’s just it, we’re in hell.
However, there is a game to it. You try to make the best things out of life. You either steal, be famous for art, movies, Television shows, politics, or whatever that you do in life. Of course though if you can’t make the best out of it, you get really pissed off at those who do make the best out of life, and you have that anger inside of you.
You either just want to steal what they have or just kill them, so you don’t have to hear from them again, to just make them shut up for once in their life and enjoy the silence. That or you just keep it inside of you and bottle it all up, wondering if you're going to explode one day and go on a killing spree.
That, and of course some don’t, and are actually happy for them. That just shows that they too make the best out of life. For me, I could never do so. I wasn't jealous, I just pissed at myself because I couldn't be as good as they were no matter how hard I tired to learn.
I was a Brony back on Earth. I got introduced to it by one of those nameless friends that I had, just casually one day out of curiosity. It just all kind of happened and soon before you knew it, I was hooked on it
For a brief period in my life, I was happy and felt like I had made the best out of life. And just like any other Brony, I wanted to embrace it all.
I bought some of the toys the dvd's, the figures, the t-shirts. But yet in the end, it didn't really take me anywhere. It just numbed the metaphorical brain in my head like an addict on morphine.
So that was my life. Although my life was heading in a good direction though when it came to school.
If I had passed my classes, I was looking at a fucking desk job for the next 40 years of my life, where all I do is nothing but mindless paper work and take some sort of shit from my boss that can go fuck himself.
So I always wished a way out of it someway. I just wanted out of this hell of mine and into something else. This hell of nothingness. This meaningless life that I was leaving. But I failed to heed the classic warning of becareful of what you wish for. Although, I didn't expect all of this other shit to happen to me, where my friends die and I've lost so much time. I have no idea what's happening anymore, I can't even make sense of anything, but that's besides the point.
Besides, it didn’t have to be My Little Pony or the ponies from the show coming into reality and having a My Little Dashie moment.
Along as it was away from this hell hole. Something that hasn’t happened to anyone else before. And I don’t mean such as a once in a life time chance to become famous, or I somehow become king of a place.
I didn’t mean that at all. I meant I don’t care if It involved me being kidnapped by fucking aliens, being tortured or dissected on. Hell I could be standard on the other side of the galaxy for all I fucking cared. Everything on Earth was just grey to me/ As long as it was any place but there, I was going to be happy in someway.
I just wanted something to happen to me, that was all. But sometimes you need to go out and make something happen. It's because sadly no one is special, we’re all the same. Then one night... that all changed for me.
One day, when I got home from school, I was locked out of my house and was in rage of trying to open the damn door and cursing up a storm, I got in and went to my bedroom to think about all the things I just said to you. To think in silence and try to be at peace. I looked at my MLP merch and cracked a little smile thinking all was right in my world.
Then I laid there for a moment and then my parents eventually wanted to have a talk with me. Now with them, I can't really remember who they are. They are a haze in my memory.
It has been so long since I saw them, but I just don't remember too much about them. I don't even remember the details on their faces. I just remembered them as two people that were in my life once. That is all.
I remember them as a child, always being with them, the playing, the birthdays, the occasional family trip. But I can't really remember too much about them, not even their real names other than mom and dad.
The only thing that I remember them for is the two people who try to prepare you for the life ahead and be there for you when you make errors and tell me that everyone makes mistakes. And that they try to show you the best out of life. You are the future bloodline, they want you to live so you can carry on their bloodline and show that life is worth living for.
But that’s not how life works. How life works is this. It does whatever the fuck it wants. You don’t control it, nor you can control anything about your life.
Life controls you and there is no escape from it. So, if life fucks you over, either not having all of your hard work getting recognized in a place of work or you’re working at a stock market and you get fucked over thirty four million dollars from your share, it just means life enjoys fucking you over and there’s really nothing you can do about it.
Your only choices are is to keep all the feelings that you have all bottled up, waiting to explode, steal what they have, but eventually getting caught and getting sentence to prison, or just end it all.
It’s your choice and like I said, I rather bottled it all up and wait for my to go crazy one day.
Besides, I only have a short time to live, along as whenever I’m an old person in a hospital and the doctors are trying to keep me alive from a heart attack or just something that all old people have when it’s their time to go. Why not you know? Of course, why not commit suicide?
Well to be honest I would. I ad thoughts about it back then, but the truth is like most of us, I was too much of a pussy to pull the damn trigger.
So my parents were in the kitchen, talking to me. They were talking to me about something, a family vacation at a nearby place and to take a trip to a cabin in the woods. You know, with the peacefulness and horseback riding as such. You know, to really connect with nature.
Now if I was still a small child, I would be excited as fuck. I would be bouncing off the walls, saying how I couldn’t wait for the trip to come. Well, for me then, I wasn't. Everything didn't seem to matter at all. It was just another trip to someplace. sure, it's nice get out and smell the fresh air. Yet it just felt like wasting my time, live day to day, week by week. Just living one day and living the next. All that would mean for me is that I was going to go and do it in the middle of the woods.
So we went on the trip during my summer vacation, when school got out.. We drove to Tennessee since it wasn't too far if I recall. The place with nothing else to do except to watch crops grow or kill yourself, it wasn’t that long of a drive.
At the time I had an old CD player with me and listening to old tunes, so at least I got some type of entertainment other than live animals out in the woods like the same things that we saw fucking each other at a zoo when we were kids.
Well, we got to our cabin and I unpacked all of my belongings. I had my room to myself while my mom and dad had theirs. We went to see about horseback riding, since it was still early in the day.
And then from there everything gets fuzzy again. It might just be the alcohol doing it's job. All I can recall is that we tried to do something, something nice together as a family. But then we had an argument. One thing lead to another and I ran off back to the cabin on my own with anger. I can't remember a damn thing to be honest what we were arguing about. Maybe it was the conversations we were having or me expressing my feelings.
My parents were pissed at me though that night from what I remembered. I remember telling them off, and using words that you shouldn't be using in front of them because I was about to explode. I think they were worried about me afterwards, but not much else was said between us. I just... was on my own. However, that night it would have been fine, because I was on my own anyways.
After I talked to them and yelled, I went into my room and slammed the door shut. Since we were renting a cabin from someone, the room just so happened to have an old record player and some old music that probably didn't get played for many years.
So, I grabbed a record disc, tried it to put it on the player the best I could from watching all of those movies, and let the music come out of the speakers as I laid on my bed, thinking about my life. I just stared at the ceiling, while the music played on and on.
My parents didn’t even say a single word to me that same night. They just turned off the lights and went to bed, without a sound. Then after an hour or two, I noticed the clock. It was one or two in the morning and I just sighed. I went up to my window and looked up at the stars.
They were quite beautiful, I must admit. I mean, it’s those rare moments that just keeps you happy and going in life. I mean without all the light pollution and all, I’ve got to admit they’re quite awesome to look up at the sky.
It was also during the summer constellations and I could make out the Pegasus and the Lyra I think. I wasn't too familiar with the constellations, let alone an astrology who could look at Orin's penis and tell you if there was going to be a blood moon the next night or not.
But I think I did my best telling from what I saw that night. Then something caught my eye. I looked into the forest as best as I could with my eyes through the window and saw a ball of light.
I saw it just hovering in mid-air, not too far off the ground. It was as big as my leg, so not too big in its size. It felt like it was looking at me, feeling like it was giving off an energy that was waiting for me to go and follow it. It just hovered there, like it was waiting for something. Then, it slowly moved deeper into the forest. It was like it was communicating to me, to follow it and to begin my journey into madness.
Well, I did just that, but only because I was curious to what it was and wanted to investigate it. I wasn't doing anything else that night anyways. Why not? So I got my shoes on as quickly as I could and got a flashlight that was in the room with so I can see in the dark forest ahead of me.
I didn't grab anything to protect myself in case a wild animal would try to attack me. I wasn't too bright and wasn't thinking about that when I went out in the middle of the forest in the middle of the night like a tard.
So, I quietly went out without making a single sound that is to be heard by my parents.
I opened the front door and gently closed it. Then, I went towards the forests and went into the woods. I had the flashlight on my right hand, illuminating anything in the distance ahead of me.
I slowly walked and as I moved deeper into the forest, I saw the ball of light. It was as if the ball of light waited for me to come. When I was in view of the thing, it moved along and I continued to follow it.
Then, eventually the pattern kept on doing the same thing. Then, it was about an hour or so when the ball got to its final destination. It was a cave.
However this cave wasn’t even on the map I think. The cave was giving off a weird vibe to me, like something wasn't right... something was off about that cave. I was starting to get a bit scared here, however I knew that I was also strong. Strong in spirit but not much else, but for some crazy fuck like me, that's all I needed.
That, and I knew I was also a bit brave, however even brave men are scared, but they are brave because they face whatever they are scared of instead of running away like a coward would. So I put a foot into the cave. Then, I slowly put the next foot into the cave. And I just telling myself to put the next foot forward to myself going instead running away like a little bitch. Who knows what would have happened if I had.
I had my flashlight pointing in front of me, lighting my way forward so I can see the light and not the darkness. I went deep and deep into the cave as I much I could possibly could go. Every now and then I could see the ball of light going ahead of me as I tried to follow it.
I even had to go down a few feet as well. Then, I reached the end. I had thought that this cave was pointless and there was no reason for me to be there. Then, I turned off the light, but when I did I still saw a light, but faded though. Apparently, there was a corner.
So I went around the corner and I saw this portal thingy. It was glinting a bit, but still it was a portal that was made out some kind of light. I also saw the ball of light there as well. It went through the portal and I wondered something here, should I go or should I not? Well, for one thing I thought maybe this would be different.
I had also came this far, so why not? I also asked myself this question, which is a question I’ve always questioned myself and others. In fact, this is a question for you whoever reads this. If you had a chance to leave your ordinary life and have another life, like leave your life for another.
If you had a chance to go on an adventure and leave your life forever, would you do it? For me, the answer is yes, but that was at the time. Now, it seems to me that I should have at the very thought it over, but at least it got me somewhere that I needed to be. However, I was worried about what the portal felt like when it would touch my skin. So I stuck my pointing finger in the portal a bit and it felt a bit weird I’ll admit, however it was slow moving in it.
So I thought that was weird, but decided to just take a chance in my life for once and jump through it. So I did and it was slow. I mean, this was happening for a reason. The reason was that I was going outside of the universe. I mean, I was transiting from a place that had time to where there is none at all. And yeah, it was the outside of the universe, the universe that I was from. Just casually outside of time and space, at least to the time and space that I was used to. I didn't quite know it at the time as I was trying to gather everything together, but that's what I ended up figuring out in the long run.
So I eventually got through the portal and I ended up at the other side. For some odd reason there was still gravity. But it felt a bit weird though. And for the ball of light, it was no where to be seen, it just disappeared from sight for me.
It was nowhere to be found at all, although let me explain where I was at though. I was in a white room. Everything was white. Even the ceiling was white, although there was really no solid surface though, just more space up above.
Then, the walls and the floor were covered in these white tiles that you would see in a Portal game. Then, the walls were covered by these portals. I mean, there were millions on them. Billions of them. Trillions of them even.
They reached up to the ceiling and the thing was that there was an actual ceiling somewhere, however it kept rising as more portals were being added by the second. Although, only three-fourths of the room like area that I was in was covered in portals. There was this one wall that had none.
However, in place of the portals was a locked door and a tinted glass. I tried everything to unlock that door, but the door doesn’t open. It only opens from the other side. That and whatever that door and glass window is made out of, doesn’t seem like to be made from Earth.
That shit was made from unbreakable stuff. You could nuke the damn thing and it would still be standing there. So that’s where I was at, but no sign of that ball of light. However, what I did find was an open portal.
You see all the portals were closed and the way you need to open them is what I call, 117. It’s just some weird stuff that you find in other universes on every planet that life exists on that has it. It’s well hidden I should mention though. It’s like a yellow dust if I had to describe it that not visible to the naked human eye.
Me and someone else invented a machine to use this yellow dust and use it to open portals to other universes. Also, let’s just say that it is a bitch to find them. It’s also a bitch to have enough just to open one universe portal.
So this open portal was to a universe that I had created years ago from my mind when I got bored in class one day. So, let’s just say that I was god of this universe. How did I know this? I didn't, but yet I had this weird feeling, this weird sense, a weird picture in my mind about what all of this was, almost as if that ball of light was still and talking to me. So I went in and I ended up in another cave that was over looking the woods somewhere. However this cave was occupied by my characters that I created. The Knight and Lawman.
You see, I had this idea for a movie in class one day and it was about this guy that is dressed up as a hero, but really wasn’t a hero. He would kill and kill with no thought to it. Not mindlessly, but with purpose. To control his own life, his own destiny, his own fate.
He dressed up like in a Dark Knight costume, expect that it was like a combination between The Dark Knight costume and Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe. All with a black cape to top off the look. His voice was also like The Dark Knight’s one and a bit of a combination from Rosach’s from Watchmen.
He also used weapons like a shotgun that he usually carried with him one end of his back and the other a samurai sword that never broke. He knew some hand- to-hand combat as well as some stealth tactics. He was pretty much an edgy character we all have at one point in our heads, but I made mine's a little bit more believable.
As for Lawman, he just dressed up like a combination between Client Eastwood and Snake from Metal Gear Solid who also had an eye patch on. He wore a light brown duster coat and had rough, slicked back brown hair while wearing a light brown cowboy hat to go with the look. All along with black cowboy boots and black pants He was a normal guy like you or me, and his weapon of choice was mostly sniper rifle. He was more human than the other guy.
So, Knight, who I call TK now a days, was planning something with Lawman with a map on the table filled with plans. The idea for TK’s enemies was the Illuminati, just an idea that I had back then.
So he was planning on something on their next moves together to coordinate some attack. I think I created others for him but I don't think ever fully created them, so it was mostly him and Lawman.
However, I had to be careful on how to approach the two. TK wasn't the type to mess with casually.
So I slowly walked out of the shadows and I said, “Hi, uhhhhh... not sure how to introduce myself here, but um, you know, I’m…”
Then I was cut off by my own creation, TK, and he said to me as he quickly took out his sword from behind his back and held it to my throat, “Who are you! How did you find me out and where I am at!? Who told you!?”
Then I just sat there, speechless.
Then TK said to me, “You better say something now, or I’ll fucking make sure your life will be a living hell for the rest of your life. You won’t even see daylight again. Now, answer my damn fucking question. Who are you and how did you get here!?”
Then I said what I needed to say which was, “I..I..I’m from another universe... I think.... I was in the woods and found a cave that lead to a portal. The portal leads to… well, I’m not sure to what it leads to, but it seems like it leads to other worlds, other universes... maybe? it was like the outside the universe I guess. Then I found this... universe opened up and I thought I go and check what it is. Not really thinking too much about it. And it just so happens to be that you are one of my creations or ideas that I had created in my mind. Therefore, I am your creator.”
I then gave a weak and nervous smile, thinking that would get me out of the trouble that I had gotten myself in. It probably wasn't though as I started to sweat a little bit.
Then Lawman said, “Yea, you are dead now. Are you expecting for Knight here to believe that bullshit and…”
Then TK cut him off and he said, “He’s right. He tells the truth from where he is from and who he is.”
Then TK let me go and took away the sword from my throat swiftly. Let me explain, TK has a helmet on and he had a bullshit detector in it you could say. There was some since behind it with some facial expressions, but there may have been some strings pulled due to my creating this universe's rules.
Then Lawman was a bit shocked by this and a surprised face as he then said, “Wait, what? Are you saying this kid is our creator. Our… god? Who just casually came from out of nowhere?”
Then TK just stared at him and somehow Lawman understood what he meant as Lawman looked down, contemplating everything that was just said. Lawman could tell he wasn't joking around. TK doesn’t joke around. He never does.
He’s always serious and always emotionless except for sometimes anger and letting it all out. He never cries nor feels love of any sort. He is just the way he is, just the way I created him to be that way. He doesn't look upon with others with fondness either with only a few exceptions.
Then Lawman said while moving his arms around in disbelief, “You can’t be serious here. I mean just look at him!”
Then TK said, “It doesn’t matter. If he is our creator, then he is our creator. If he says that he is from another universe, then he is from another universe. I'm not sure how it is possible, but life can sometimes be surprising in ways you can never imagine.”
Then TK looked at me silently and asked me, “So, you got a name?”
Then I thought about it in my head. I could use my real name, which at this point I have forgotten, but then I thought about using a better name. A better name that I thought was cool, a chance to have a new identity for me and to start a new.
So I then answered back to TK, “Sure do. The name is Knight.”
Then Lawman couldn’t believe what the name that I had.
Lawman said out loud while pointing at TK, "Seriously? Your name is the same as his?"
So of course he had thought I named myself after TK, which seemed a bit suspicious but in truth it just sounded like a cool thing at the time.
I spoke up and said to both of them, “Relax. It doesn’t matter. We can call him... TK. You know, short for ‘The Knight’.”
Then Lawman gave a sigh and then said to me, “Yea, but having both the same fucking name doesn’t mean it’s still not fucking stupid.”
Well, we talked for a bit and I showed them where I came from. I told TK about how the cave wasn’t on the map and that I was a bit worried I might not be able to come back.
Then TK said to hold on for a moment, which I did and he came back with a device that he had made in his hands. I had made TK to not only thing with his fists, but with his mind as well. I suppose I may have broken some rules a bit when creating a universe and had it to where for him, he could make a device some quickly.
It was a teleport device. Where ever that I may be at, I can instantly teleport back to off the grid, to the outside of the universe. Although it was only in theory, I was going to find out one way or another if it was going to work or not. Thankfully it did at the time. But it was all still experimental.
So I decided to go back home and come back another time. When I got out, it only had been about thirty minutes since I left the cabin. However, it was about three hours that I spent off the grid. Time moves differently depending on where you go.
So I went back to the cabin and went off the grid very often. I went to other places you wouldn't believe with different realities various foes to tell. But those are stories for another time.
I almost forgot to mention that bitch Factory Dash. She was a hard ass, especially on me. She was Rainbow Dash from some fucking fan fiction called Rainbow Factory. She was part of the crew and how we met is long story and another one for another day when the pills haven't kicked in and the alcohol hasn't begun to dull my senses. To talk about her is a whole another thing. She was mostly loyal to TK, a pupil to him as she found TK interesting and wanted to be just like him. So the two made a deal, a couple backstabbing's pursued, but in the end we all made the fuck up with each other and were "best friends till the end of time."
'She usually wears a dark robe to cover herself while using a hidden blade as her weapon of choice. combined with her ability to fly, despite her looks, she was a mean killing machine. She just wasn't a friendly one at that. But she was the heart of the universes though, a prime example of what to expect from it.
However, I also made many enemies, unlike Factory Dash was only temporarily, while I was off the grid. One of the main ones and the one that I sort of fear a bit, is TF or The Forgotten for short. He was an old creation that I created as a child or about five years of age, but then I forgot about him for ten fucking years, along with many other creations that I have made in the past that was later forgotten.
However, they are all dead except for TF for a long story short. I regret ever creating him, because ever since I forgot him, all he wanted was revenge. And that is sadly one of my downfalls, because he will break anyone, either if it’s friends or family, he will kill whoever he needed to get to me, and he doesn’t go down easily either.
However, if I wanted to describe TF, I would say he is the most insane gentleman I ever met in my life.
He kind of looked like me a bit, but with features involving a scar somewhere on his face and brown hair instead of black.
He would do just about anything just to see me suffer the worst that any other has suffered in their lives. He also succeeded in his goal too. Nevertheless, at the same time, he gave something to me.
Also, another thing that I should mention about this universe thing. There is another thing like 117, however it’s totally different.
You see, when you’re off the grid you can do just about anything, although they take time to master certain skills to do certain things, as it is all about the mind and body and learning to use it to whatever extend of who you are. However, you can take these powers and do whatever you want with them, even within an area of physics. You can do things like raising or lowering terrain or creating something of nothing. It's like playing powers of god, but only if you know how to do it. It's not an easy task and something I had to learn over many years of being off the grid.
I call them off the grid powers. You can only use it in a syringe, but you can do just about anything. So, that’s about all the basics that you need to know for right now.
As for the other things in my past, I’ll talk about them from time to time throughout my life’s story and eventually talking about my old days.
However, there is something else though that I didn’t tell anyone about off the grid of course, however I had my reasons, but screw it, I rather not say those specific reasons.
Also, there is something else you need to know before we move on and I’ll make it a long story short. I eventually left Earth and everything that I had and erased my parents memories of ever having me even exist and collapsed all the caves that had the portal to the outside of the universe. Making sure there were no loose ends. Although the thing about the portals is that you can try to close them all you want, but they eventually pop back up one way another.
Let’s move on to where another place where I could’ve started with my life’s story. Let’s start here, in a fucking cave that is in the Everfree Forest.
Although, the cave isn’t too far from Ponyville either, but still. So what happened here was I eventually found a My Little Pony universe, however there are many.
Many where it’s actually for adults, or it’s horrible or it’s where the characters are killers. So many alternate universes to choose from.
However, I wanted to retire from my adventuring days, and live in a MLP universe in peace. However, I wanted a legit one, so I found an Official universe. An official universe is where it’s first in a tree where other universes are born from it in alternate decisions.
However, it’s reality could be different. If it were to be a 2-D style of reality, it can still be legit, or it could be slightly off about the reality. However, whatever you do in this Official Universe, will also affect other Official Universes that are related to the Official Universe that you are in. Although this depends on what is connected and what is not connected. There is more that I can say, but I won't bore you with the details.
So, let’s just say shit happened and I eventually was on my own. I found a nice cave to rest at and unfortunately, it was to a home of timber wolves. So what did I do? I fought them off of course.
Then I killed them all by setting them all on fire. However, there was one timber wolf in particular that didn’t fight back. In fact, he didn’t even want to fight. He was smaller than the others and was more of a light brown than a dark brown. All with the glowing light green eyes as well. He seemed like he was abused by the others and that I had just saved him some trouble. In the end, we became friends.
I named him Wolf. He also seems to understand me and can respond to yes or no questions. I even showed him where I came from, or at least what I have showed him. So we soon became best friends.
Also I should mention of those what I look like a pony. I have a blue coat, although it is almost as similar to Luna’s but a bit lighter then hers. I also have a black mane, and a bit of a straight mane style hair with it being roughed up a bit, same thing with the tail.
I also wear a black cowboy’s hat and I also wear a satchel from time to time. However, as a human, I wore a black T-shirt, a black leather jacket, dark blue pants, and a pair of black shoes that you would consider to go with this type of outfit, And to top it all off. So, what happened in this case was this. It was about one year since I was living in the cave and me and Wolf became best buds.
We were planning on taking a trip around Equestria and seeing what it had to offer. Then my plan was to find a nice place to settle down in Ponyville and just relax and live the life of what every Brony would have wanted. However, just as on the night that Wolf and I was about to set out on our own, TF came back.
He came all fucked up and shit to the cave entrance. When I saw him, Wolf growled at him. He was ready to defend me to his last breath. However I told him to back down and let me handle the problem at hand.
TF said to me, “So, I see you’re going to fight me like a man, instead of your sack of shit of a Timber wolf to defend you. Good job. Now you’re actually a man now. I mean, you have been living for over 50,000 years, and now it seems to me that you’re finally wanting to become a man of some sort. Good job for you, but it’s too fucking late. One of us is going to leave this cave, while the other one doesn’t.”
Just to keep in mind it didn’t happen, but something like this did happen though in the future. Then I charged at TF and was about to give him a blow in the face with a punch, but he was a step ahead in the game and grabbed my forearm and twisted it.
Yea, I was in pain. Then, he pushed me outside and there was a puddle of small water. My face landed in it and when I went to get back up and fight again, I saw myself for what I really was. A miserable, low life stick in the mud.
I was really pissed off. All of my anger inside me was building up and I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I was ready to let loose, ready to explode and let it all out and put it all on TF. I was ready to take control for once, ready to fight for that was mine.
Then TF said to me, “Come on now. I thought you wanted to be a man and fight me. What the fuck are you waiting for!? Get the fuck up and fight me you son of a bitch!”
Then I said to him, “Leave me alone TF. Go before you know what’s coming to you.”
Then TF said, “Oh, and what the fuck are you going to…”
I then cut him off and I turned around to him and said, “Leave me the FUCK ALONE!!!!!”
I had blue electricity coming out of me, and my eyes went completely white like I was possessed by something. You couldn’t see any pupils at all. There was even this beam of light coming out of me.
I then continued to yell at TF, “YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE. I HAVE WARNED YOU, BUT THOU DOES NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND! TIS A FAIR WARNING I HAVE GIVEN TO YOU! YET, YOU DO NOT HEATH MY WARNING, AND FOR THAT, YOU SHALL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! AND THE PUNISHMENT FOR SUCH A THING, DEATH!!!”
I was surprised that I could speak in the royal Cantorlot voice. I didn’t even know at the time I had it in me, nor speak the language. It was weird, yet at the time didn't quite worried about either.
Then, I lost control of my powers and couldn’t concentrate on TF anymore.
Although, I do recall TF saying to me, “I’ll be back. And when I am back, you will regret that you even created me.”
Then, he left and only TF and Wolf saw my amazing powers. However, they are not the only ones that have their side of the story now.
Next Time: Knight: I was able to beat TF this time, but the words he said before he left scares me of what he has planning for me in the future. However, I am more scared as I have a strange abilities of powerful magic that I have no idea where it came from or how to control it. It’s a mystery to me for now, but I am also founded by characters from the show, and my destiny has been changed forever. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 2: A New Home
So…as I said before, Wolf and TF were not the only ones to see my amazing abilities to use powerful magic and talk in the Royal Cantorlot voice.
However, as a bit of a recap, just in case however, I was in the cave with Wolf preparing for our trip when we were about to take a visit around Equestira. However, TF was on my trail and somehow found me, which at one point I thought he was dead when a cliff collapsed into the water, but that is another story for another time that I like to call The Fall.
Sometimes I get a bit emotional about it, like depressed because of it. I mean, I get so depressed about it, it makes me just want to commit suicide, like blowing my head off with a shotgun to my mouth.
I feel like I did that once. Like... robbing a store and failing like a tard. It feels like I did that yet never did... am I remembering something that never happened before? Oh who cares, it doesn't matter anymore, where was I again? Oh whatever, let's continue shall we cause I have a lot tell you guys... and it's a long one.
My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 2: A New Home
Anyways, back to the main story, and instead of that depressing back story shit…I know, this must be really depressing for you right now. You might have expected a bright and colorful story about ponies and how they went on awesome adventures and made friends with a dragon or some shit like that.
That and sunshine and farts and rainbows and…you get the point, how a little kids show would be, or a family show I should say.
Well, it is, along with a few more depressing stuff.
Anyways, after you compare the thought of a story about ponies being family friendly but really turning out to be adult friendly, like I said, let me recap a few things.
I was in the cave, with Wolf gathering and preparing for our trip to explore the world that we were in. Then TF came out of nowhere and surprisingly survived the fall.
Then we started to fight each other and I found out I was a unicorn that was of a dark blue-ish color coat and a black mane and tail, with a mane style of…well it’s hard to explain, but whatever. Well not found out per say, but kind of just realized a few things and how much I kind of sucked and soon the emotions took over me and it felt like I blacked out or something.
Anyways, my look was kind of like a normal stallion mane style I guess. I also had light-ish, blue-ish eye color. I’m not sure of the eye color name, but it’s a general description of it. Then I yelled and had amazing powers that were more powerful then Celestia’s and Luna’s magic combined and yelled in the Royal Cantorlot voice of course.
By the way, if you’re wondered what TF looked like, he looked like Doctor Whooves, except the colors were a bit darker, and he had those sleepy stuff under his eyes.
Like those dark circles under his eyes, I suppose you can call them. Of course, his cutie mark well that was the strange thing, he didn't have one either just like how I didn't have one myself. Weird right?
Well, I believe what I said was, which I’m not sure, but I was very close to Ponyville where the spot I was at the time. Ponyville was nice and quiet at nighttime and it was quite peaceful. No pony was disturbed and sleeping very well.
You may see it as like a nice peaceful town where you just feel like going to sleep at, in fact, I feel like going to sleep right now at the thought of it. Fuck it, I’ve got to keep going.
Anyways, not all ponies were asleep, but Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia were still awake at the time of Luna’s Night. They were still up because they were alicorns and they had to attend to their royal duties of course.
Well, they were at Twilight’s house, and of course, Twilight continued to stick to her place instead at Cantorlot since she became an alicorn. Of course, this is right after season 4 took place.
Well, to be a bit more specific, since I know some bastard somewhere is going to be complaining about that tiny bit of detail that I didn’t mention about my life is going to be a bitch if I don’t. In other, words acting like an immature adult, then again it’s not like I act like a mature adult all the time, admittedly... and that's all you'll get from me too.
Fuck it, I’m both, even if that doesn’t make any sense. Well, to be specific, it was right after season 4 happened, as in after Twilight’s adventures with her friends of season four ending.
Although there was no castle, just her tree house. It'll make sense later on, I promise.
Well, Celestia’s carriage was there to go back to Cantorlot to rest for the night and was by Twilight’s place and ready to go. Celestia and Twilight just finished a boring and political stuff that I’m pretty sure you’ll be thankful that I didn’t say what it was, because it was politics. And we al know what happens when we talk about politics at the thanksgiving table now don't we? Yeah you do... Ike should have won damn it, and Woodrow Wilson was a dick. Unpopular opinion in the world of politics, I know, very current and relatable.
Besides, an argument about black guys and Asians was going to pop up soon, so I did you guys a favor. I’m not sure what I said either, but let’s put it like this, a black guy versus a white guy for presidency.
Who would win, I’m not sure, but it is a black guy and a white guy, so it makes it special for the audience…and when I mean by that I mean for the retarded undecided voters, which makes up seventy-five percent of the country’s population of the United States.
And if you were offended by that random statement, well I’m pretty sure the Muslims can do worse. I mean, they can burn you with a small video of a typical American white guy and a white guy for a president making money and shitting on each other.
I’m pretty sure you’ll be more offended by that then by my jokes, but whatever, I’m in charge of this journal here not you, well my life story that is… which is a weird way of saying it, but let’s go on with the good shit.
Once Twilight and Celestia was out the door of the library, Celestia said to Twilight with a smile upon her bitch face, and that is not a mistake, “Well, I think we made a very good decision for the royal subjects of Equestria Twilight. I will be looking forward to the contract that you have to sign sometime soon. Until then, I suppose you should get some rest. It has been a long day for us, and there is still plenty of work days ahead of us.”
Then Twilight said to her bitch teacher, “I do certainly agree Celestia. I think that I am starting to get more tired than Spike on Winter Wrap Up Day. I should start getting ready for bed and get cleaned up from today I suppose.”
Then Celestia said as she was walking to her very shitty carriage that is a cheap bitch, “Yes, I shall see you tomorrow Twi…”
Then Celestia was cut off by me, with that power shit and my magic from a long ass distance. When they saw this, Celestia and Twilight looked in amazement to what the fuck they were looking at.
Also, before I move on, I’m also pretty sure I’m going to get those annoying Grammar Nazi’s when they’re reading my amazing life story, which I’m pretty sure it is amazing because I did kill a guy for it.
Anyways, I’m pretty sure some Grammar Nazi’s are snooping around, possibly looking for retards to pick on, it’s their normal meal that they eat every day. Well, I offer you three thousand Jews to leave me alone. I will even throw in some deadly gas and guns to shoot them with as well to leave me alone and do not interrupt my journal... book... thingy... Well, it's not like I'm being interrupted here, you're interrupting yourselves so uhh... check mate atheists... ligama balls bitch...
Anyways, I shall wait for your response and once I have your agreement, I will give you the Jews and you can kill them and torch them. Perhaps you can get some Jewish information out of them about their plans to take over… I don’t know what Jews like these days… Rabbi planet? I don’t know, just thinking off the top of my head here, and start a world war three. I mean, come on, we all know genocide is going to happen at some point.
By the way, I don’t speak German just in case for that one guy that does come in for the offer and he’s from Germany. I know those Germans are really good and like their Jews and shit. I mean, they like their Jews nice and weak so they can kill them easily. Anyways, I wait for your reply…and once I have the contract signed, I will have your Jews and deadly gas ready for you and you will leave me alone.
And I should mention if the Jews ask you what you’re going to do to them, just say that you’re going to throw them a party for them, because I already told them that the deadly gas was party gas.
Also to the guy in the back that says that I am a horrible human being or pony I guess... yeah why don't you lick my dick till you hick up bitch... see I'm just full of energy while writing this stuff today, my bad...
So…. aside from that very…. very… extremely dark joke about good ol’ fashioned genocide that I just made up from my mind, while Celestia and Twilight were looking upon my amazing power, the guards that were at the carriage were preparing their horns as if they were expecting for a fight was about to occur.
However, Celestia looked at them with a glance that says, ‘Dude, calm the fuck down, it’s possibly nothing. Besides, we’re New Yorkers, it’s all cool and our Brooklyn accents are cool too. Besides, we have those Jersey people to worry about right now. They think they’re tougher then us, well we’ll show them, right boys? Yeah, let’s go kick their fucking asses and show them that we mean business, and after that we can get a nice good ol’ New York hot dog. Then we can also pick on the Jews while we’re at it, those Jews and their funny voices. We have the better voices… not them.’
Yup, that kind of look, which possibly very little know what that look is, so to be specific, it’s that one look Celestia gives pretty much all the fucking time when she's wearing the pants around town.
Like that look that she gives with that ok face on while you’re looking like in the back of Celestia and she has to weird Asian like type for eyes. Whatever, it’s just a look that she gave to tell the guards to back down.
Then Twilight went up to Celestia and she asked her with a worry in her voice, “What do you think that beam of light is Celestia? Do you think it is a sign that we are being under attacked?”
Then Celestia looked at Twilight, with again that look that she gave the guards except it was a bit of an ok type of look.
Celestia then proceeded to say to Twilight, “I am not entirely sure Twilight. It is very difficult to tell what this is right now. For right now, it could be anything, so it is very cautious to go into the Everfree Forest right now. However, in order to insure the safety of all the citizens of Ponyville, or depending on what it could be, the safety of all of Equestira itself. We must investigate it to make sure it will not harm any citizen here; it is our up most important duty as rulers of Equestria. However, be very cautious Twilight Sparkle, whatever is in the forest could kill us in a heartbeat. So be prepared for anything to happen Twilight.”
Celestia’s guards then were preparing for an attack once more, or perhaps they were doubting that the princesses was going to come back from the forest, but Celestia gave them the look once more to stand down; a look that says everything will be alight... even if it wasn't going to be alright.
Then as they were about to take a step forward so they could investigate the Everfree Forest, they then, in oddly enough of weird timing, heard my yelling voice of the loud Royal Cantorlot voice.
However, it wasn’t too loud as their position wasn’t close enough, but loud enough to make clear of the words that I was saying. I was very loud. Once they heard what I said aloud, Twilight then looked to Celestia while having yet a worried glance, and at this point it seems to always be a worried glance because its common sense… well almost anyways.
Well Twilight said to Celestia, “Did… whatever is in the Everfree Forest talk in the Royal Cantorlot voice? I wonder whatever is speaking in the Royal Cantorlot voice is giving a warning to about anyways.”
Then Celestia was looking down at the ground, with a weird look on her face, as if she had a bit of sadness in her eyes, to which she then said to Twilight, “Yes, I do so as well Twilight. However, something tells me that this is important that we must find out who this is that is causing this beam of light to happen.”
Twilight then saw Celestia, as she hung her head down and had a bit of sadness in her eyes as well, and while she almost started to cry.
Twilight then again of course… look, Grammar Nazis, just take my offering that is for you and get the fuck out of here, especially you... you Egyptians. I know you want the Jews back to build your pyramids again. Don't worry, Moses won't be a problem this time around. I made sure of that... he's dead. He died like thousand years ago or something. I know he had a rival business with you guys and everything with his own plantation and that's why freed them, but then made the mistake by not double checking that they were black, but still... you can have them back now. We got a deal? I'm assuming yes since this is technically in the future... so deal...
Anyways, Twilight then asked Celestia, “Celestia, are you alright? Is there something bothering you right now?”
Celestia then got out of her trance and dried up her tears and she said to Twilight as a response to her question, “Yes, I am quite alright Twilight. It's nothing to worry about. It's just that I haven't been feeling good as of late. I feel like something is going to happen, but I can't tell what will happen. I sense that something isn't good and that something is off, but I can't quite put my hoof on it. I've even consulted with my sister Luna and she does not feel the same way that I do. It might just be me and that I'm overthinking things. I have been quite busy after all in Cantorlot, attending to my royal duties. I might just need some rest and a little break is all. But still, it worries me that something is off, and that it may lead to something even more worrying in the near future. But it's nothing for you to worry about Twilight. We have more important things to worry about right now. Let us not worry about my physiological health right now; let us focus on the task at hoof.”
As Celestia was shaking that weird feeling off her, Twilight had that weird look that something wasn’t right, however she too decided to shrug it off as well.
They then started to head off to the Everfree Forest, as the sea of light I was giving off was still there. It took them about maybe like 20 minutes to get to my location or so. I mean Ponyville was only so big you know? It was still kind of bi, but not too big of a town, you know like medium sized. Especially with where Twilight's library home was located at, it wouldn't have taken them too long to get to me. It wasn't like I was going anywhere.
However, TF had disappeared and escaped, while I still was going berserk with my magic that I didn’t even know that I had in the first place. I mean I didn't know that I had a lot of magic inside of me. While I was still going crazy with my newly discovered magic, Wolf was acting like a pussy, as he was afraid to come near me and was keeping his distance from me while cowering low to the ground, but only because the beam of light was just too much for him.
However, I believe he was also creeped out for a bit as well because I had those white filled eyes and was pupiless or the eyes with no pupils if you couldn't tell, as if you’re having an exorcism done on you, except I wasn’t possessed by a demon.
Although if I was, chances are the demon would have already molested me on the inside and violate me and I would be crying about it in the shower, like a strawberry being violated by a worm. A Worm that was black and was very ghettoish.
Well, it didn’t take no longer than about twenty minutes minutes for Celestia and Twilight to reach my spot that I was at where my cave home was at with Wolf in it still acting like a little bitch. Celestia and Twilight had walked through the houses and other ponies who were awoken by the sounds and curious as to what was happening.
But as they were walking past everyone else as ponies poked their little heads out their windows and doors, Twilight with a nervous smile were saying to them, "Go back inside, there's nothing to worry about. We have it all taken care of... he he..."
Twilight wasn't sure if everything was going to be ok, but her and Celestia kept going, ready for anything that came their way. They made it past the houses, past the hills and Fluttershy's cottage, and made it to the edge of the Everfree; went past the trees and bushes that filled the forest and made it seem endless, and got to my spot, which was a little bit of an open area, almost like a circle so there was room to move around. All along with the cave of course that was nearby that was of a decent sized and was big enough and deep enough to camp at, maybe even make as your new home if you had the feeling for it.
However, they didn’t just walk up to me and put a hoof on my pony shoulder to calm down, but instead stood near the area that I was at and stared at me, but then went behind a decent size rocks that were nearby that was about as pick as their bodies to hide from me. They then peeked their heads out to look at me and started to plan their next move. They had curious yet cautious looks on their faces.
Twilight suggested to Celestia, “What do you make of this Celestia? Should we try to communicate with him or should we try to harm him?”
Then Celestia said to her once favorite student… but not anymore, so take that you Twilight bitch, “I am afraid to make a choice here Twilight. I am not sure if he'll be a friend or a foe, but I have a weird feeling in me once more at this moment. I have a sense that I should try to talk to him, and calm him down somehow and that he'll be of some vital importance later on."
Twilight then said, "You're getting a feeling about that? How?"
Celestia then said back to her with a hopeful look on her face, "I'm not sure Twilight. However, just like the lesson that you have been taught not too long ago, I shall trust my gut and talk to him peacefully. However it will be quite a challenge to calm him down and talk to him without an interruption. What do you think we should do Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight then stared into space for a few seconds, thinking about the plan that Celestia should go with, but had nothing but a blank mind. Twilight then gave a sad type of look, but not really sad at all… That weird in between of a sad look that was on her face that read, 'everything is going to be ok, even though it won't be and we'll probably going to die, but why the hell not go for it you know?' You know that kind of a sad look when you just give up but roll with whatever is thrown your way.
Well, Twilight then said to Celestia, “I don’t know Celestia. I think there is no way around to calming him down. I think we have to harm him or at least knock him out with one of our spells.”
Celestia looked into Twilight eyes, knowing that she would have to harm me or at least knock me out, but also being put on a risky move because if I wasn’t affected by the knock out spell they were going to use, I would have been pissed off and would’ve been going on a killing rampage possibly. I could possibly get a monster kill streak with that badass voiceover from that one game.
Actually, now that I think of it, it sounds really fun to do right now… maybe my friend’s life isn’t worthy of living anymore. Fuck it, I’d just kill some of the Jews just because I’m too lazy to get up and kill my friends. I mean they aren't that useful... and they seem to be pretty controversial too from what I've heard. Like weren't they banned from 108 cities... countries... states? I don't know, but eh, what could go wrong am I right? Just give them their own land instead... that won't piss anyone off... nope.. not at all. Everyone would be happy about that idea...
By the way, Grammar Nazis, my offer still stands. Perhaps you would like to change your mind. I mean you don’t have to kill them, you can always use them as your personal slaves, you just have to paint them black is all so you can get the real thing.
Also, fair warning, you might also want to look into getting a cotton field… somewhere in the deep south of South America where the Confederate America still exists. Just a fair warning is all so that you can truly live life and the American dream that we all strive for... even the blacks strive for it, so you know it's that special.
Also I would also recommend in investing in a whip, a very dirty and AIDS infected barnyard to where the Jews can sleep at, and a bible for them to read, even if it is bullshit, they need something to read while they have the iron shackles on their legs and arms.
Man that joke went way too far, but who the fuck cares, I’m in Equestria, so suck it. I mean, I can do whatever I want in this journal. I'm even technically the past, so you can suck my past balls bitch.
I can even say the N word if I want to and I can get away with it…Nig…
SOMEWHERE IN THE DEEP VOID...
Knight isn't here right now. I am here. I am not Knight. This is his journal, but this is not Knight. Knight is somewhere in the void for a brief moment. He is physically still there writing, but in his mind he is in the void. Where did he go in his mind? He went to the void... ... ... ... He'll be back shortly. The other voices will takeover when they see fit. Knight is not alone. He never was alone. He is always being watched. He could have been alone. But things happened. Things changed. He can no longer be alone anymore. He is marked. The ending of this Knight from this Universe depends on your choosing in the end. This Knight has his path as the others have theirs. It is their fate. It is their destiny. Knight cannot escape his. You can not escape yours. You will reach end. You will choose the end. It is your fate. It is your destiny. To see it all through. This is your only warning. You will now enter the rabbit hole. There is no backing out now. The rabbit hole will be small for now. But it will only get bigger. You have been warned. Knight is coming back now. He has just experienced saying the word nigger.
Welcome back to the show. Enjoy it.
BACK FROM THE VOID...
Man that was amazing to say! I feel so alive right now that I can do it again! I feel like saying that word so many times in front of a fucking Zebra right now! Although it feels weird. It feels like I was just in a trance not long ago. Hmm... it feels weird.
Oh well, it's probably not important, I need to get back to my life story anyways right now. So let us move on before I have an N bomb storm.
Well, Celestia was looking as there was no other way but to hurt me, however, she then had that feeling in her once more…like the third time I guess.
Dam that feeling is really screwing around with Celestia’s mind isn't. Maybe it was Discord perhaps... huh? I’m betting he really liked it when Celestia did him and shit, because if you recall with the Lesson Zero episode, she said she had some ‘male’ to get to, along with saying that she had a good use for him. Don't deny it, Discord had a thing going on with Celestia. Well, one that we can hope and ship endlessly on websites for our own amusement that is.
Perhaps Discord really likes having sex with horny old women now and he has just been lying about it. He just likes that really old pussy and how dry it can be with it being filled with cobwebs and maybe some yeast infection that makes it look like a blue waffle. I'm sure that's Discord's kink. Why did he have to lie?
I’m starting to have a tear in my eye now… because he lied to us. Why Discord why!!!? How could you do this to us!?
OH well, never mind that; Celestia had that feeling in her and it was telling her to do something. She then said to Twilight with determination in her voice, “I am starting to get that feeling inside of me once again Twilight. Something tells me that I have a solution to our problem here. I am not sure if it will work or not, but I will trust what my heart tells me.”
Celestia then got from out of cover of the rocks, while Twilight followed her with her eyes in anticipation as to what will happen next. You see Grammar Nazis… I used a fancy word… quick… someone call my mom! You love me now mom… well do ya!? No? I was a mistake? Dad was a mistake? Your life was a mistake? What's that clicking sound? Why did I hear a gunshot just now? Hello? She must be busy... .......... there is only dead silence that is my friend now...
There is only ever silence now. The silence is the only friend that you will ever have. It takes you... it takes you away from the light but the light doesn't want you. The darkness is your only friend. uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
So Celestia slowly walked towards me, and keep in mind this entire time I was under that beam of light thing.
If you think about it, it’s kind of funny, because while Celestia and Twilight were discussing a few things, I was still going like a crazy mother fucker… while yelling and screaming as I was kind of in a bit of pain as well… it’s weird and funny at the same time really.
I wonder if I was popping a blood vessel somewhere in my pony body as well, then it would have been even funnier. Well, Celestia slowly walked up to me taking small steps, but pushing forward and being careful not to startle me. She also had a look on her face that she was worried about my condition as well, and that she wanted to get closer to me... just not in that kind of way. But instead of immediately doing what her gut told her to do, she just stared at me with a worried look in her eyes.
However, I do not recall seeing her eyes, but instead just going like a complete maniac, moving my body and head around spastically, and just going overall crazy while not being in control of what I was even doing or saying. It was like I was having a seizure, but it wasn't deadly.
Well Celestia eventually got close enough, probably more than what she had wanted to do initially, and then slowly raised her front right hoof up and looked at it, wondering if she were to doubt it or not. But she then took a gulp or something like that and slowly put a hoof on my pony shoulder.
Once her hoof made contact with my pony shoulder, the beam of light somehow disappeared within a fraction of a second as the night sky above us turned back to Luna's night, and I was not acting crazy anymore and can actually concentrate at my surroundings.
Once the beam of light went away, I hit the ground, but not too hard, because I was only like a few feet in the air, while Wolf was still hiding in the cave like a little pussy ass bitch. But once I had returned back to normal, he looked glad that I was normal once more by having a small little warm smile across his face as he slowly got back from a crowd's position.
Well I then hit the ground and landed on my back, and that's when I saw Celestia’s face. She gave a smile to me as she hovered over my body and blocked the starry night sky; a smile that is so warm and one that makes you feel like there is nothing wrong in the world.
A smile that you knew that everything was going to be all right in the future and you felt protected by it as well.
It was a smile that everyone always wanted to see… a smile that they always dreamed about having made for them. That was the smile that I got… a Great Gatsby rip off smile that good ol’ Leo did in the movie, except better. However, in all honesty, I did feel warmth and happiness when I saw it, and I was happy on the inside.
However, I never gave a smile on the outside, for I was kind of like drifting in and out of consciousness, trying to stay awake from that thing that happened to me.
However, while Celestia was looking at me, two things happened within my own mind. A memory of the past came back to me, a memory that I remember and every single detail to it from my past, from a recognizable face.
However, it was not the face from the show back on Earth, but a memory that I kept locked away that I don’t even want to talk about now. Ok fuck it, I guess I can't keep you waiting forever. I'll give you the short version. At some point before coming to this My Little Pony universe, I went to another for a period of time beforehand, but it was different. I was kind of trapped there, had a different look to myself, and was young child that then got adopted by Celestia from that universe. I'll talk about it some other time. It's not that important anyways and I rather not get into the details. It was a weird and awkward time for me, like all the time that you spent in middle school. You'd rather just forget that it even happened to begin with.
But I did remember every detail to it though; everything; all the events that made my will to fight; my will to live; my will to love anything… gone… but love found its way back into my heart, while I forgot about the fighting and the wars.
Never mind that, but it still gave me a memory that I tried my best to lock up. I try to forget about what happened. I sometimes wondered if I could have ever gone back and face the music and go for round two you know?
I wonder if I could ever tell that Celestia the truth of what happened, and if she would ever forgive me. But I keep it locked up deep inside my past, trying to forget, but it seems that it will never leave me be, that it will forever stick to my mind and never let go… kind of what she said to me that one night.
Let us not get into it, I'm starting to get off track by going over these memories in my head. I shouldn't dwell on it. maybe some other time I'll tell it in here, but for now, let's get back to 9/11 and how Hitler did it...
See… my sort of comedy is starting to get back and I’m starting to forget whatever I was trying to forget. What was I talking about? That’s right, that whole thing that was going through my head at the time, silly old me. Well the second thing that rushed through my mind was sort of like the feeling that she had when she saw the beam of light.
I had a bit of déjà vu as well, except not from my past, but as if I knew her very well like a Russian guy that just came to America and his Russian cousin is waiting for him in a taxi cab and he recognizes him as COUSIN!
Except in Soviet Russia… cousin drives you? Soviet Russia is a giant douche bag with their jokes. Damn those jokes to hell. Just like the apes who took over the planet. Well, It was like I knew her by everything, but I couldn’t put my finger on it where I met this Celestia at before… but at the same time that past exeprience that I had with the other Celestia and all, I was probably just overthinking it was all. Besides I started to feel weak in the bones and in the mind.
After a while of thinking that through my mind and seeing that smile on her face, Celestia then asked me a question of, “Sir… are you alright? Are you feeling ok to move on your own?”
I then said in response to her question, but in a low tone of voice while trying to keep my eye lids from closing all the way down as they felt heavy, “I feel so weak. I feel… so cold. I can’t… get up… please… help. Give me some hot coca and a blanket... it helps everyone.”
Celestia then had a still bit of a smile on her face like she found me cute or something. And she also looked like she wasn't afraid of me and that the stranger pony that she just met wasn't going to attack her or harm anyone else.
So Celestia then used her horn to raise my entire body from the ground and put me on her back, and placed evenly so I would not fall off. I was lying on my stomach and having my head hang over like I was some kind of saddle. It was a tad bit uncomfortable but I couldn't move to begin with too much, so I just hanged around and just enjoyed the ride.
Twilight then walked up to Celestia, to which Celestia then told Twilight, “Twilight, we need to take him back to your place for right now. When we get there, warm up the fireplace so he can get some warmth and if you have any tea to heat up. It looks like he is going to need such comfort if he will to able to answer any of our questions for him.”
Then Twilight asked Celestia while inspecting me with a worried look and holding up her left hoof jsut slightly above the ground, “Are you sure we should do that Celestia? It looks like he needs more then warmth and a hot cup of tea. He looks like he needs a doctor.”
Celestia then responded to Twilight, “Yes, and I certainly agree with your statement Twilight, but what you and I saw and what he can do; I am afraid the doctors are beyond with help for him. His best chance is with us since he seems to have very powerful magic I am not even sure Alicorns can do… except for one… however, although I can't say for sure. I do know some pony who reminds me of this much magic, yet I don't want to say for certain if those two things are related or not. However, I believe he just has a very incredible set of skills and power for magic that just needs a little nudge in the right direction. Let us be on our way Twilight.”
They then started to head out to Twilight’s home and out of the Everfree Forest; all the while Wolf was still in the cave watching Celestia and Twilight talk and leave. He tilted his head to the side a bit, and was confused as to what was happening. And when he saw Celestia and Twilight take me away, he didn't quite like it. We had grown our friendship since I first et him in the caves and all, and just like a good loyal dog to their owner, he wanted to be by my side at all times and if needed to, protect me as I protected him.
Well, to be fair I didn't protect him intentionally, I only saved him from his abusive family by accident. If he was just sitting and chilling with the others I probably would have killed him as well, but Wolf doesn't need to know that. That's just a secret between you and me ok. Don't tell anyone... I'll slip you a digital dolor that I got from Google images to bribe ya if you want to keep this quiet between you and me. Wink Wink...
Well, it took some time to get to Twilight’s house, about another twenty minutes or so and the same path they took and everything. And they slowly walked too, without saying a single word to each other while doing so. I do wonder though why the fuck they walked instead of running, or at least walking fast since they did say that I needed some form of help from them. I mean I could have been dying and bleeding out, but they were moving like fucking snails. Real actual snails; not the half brain dead retarded kid.
Well, I could not tell you how long it was until I was in the warmth of the library since I was kind of fading in and out of consciousness and everything, but I flipped myself over while on Celestia’s back slowly cause I felt like I needed to move around a bit to get myself going. Not only that, but I was unsure as to what was happening too, I only heard the voices and that's all I knew that was going on.
I have to admit, I saw the stars while on my back. In fact it was the same stars from that night when I discovered the portal to the outside of the universe. I recognized the constellations, and I have not seen them since that night. It was kind of weird seeing some of the same stars and their patterns. It was like we were sharing the same sky this entire time and that Equestria was only a walk away from the cabin.
I had a smile on my face… and I had a weird feeling as if I had someone looking out for me, above from the heavens…protecting me and watching my every move. And apparently, he or she is a pervert because they must have seen me take a shower. I mean they are just asking to get talked to by Chris Hanson… which I will remind you that he will pretty much make you blow your own brains out because of it.
I mean, he sits you down and talk to you… in a very violating way… because that’s Chris Hanson. Anyways, I looked upon the midnight stars as I was carried away from my only friend as I listened to the music of the night and felt as if someone was watching me in the heavens. OR maybe it wasn't the heavens, but from the beyond. Perhaps from a void that was endless and that someone was in that void watching me. Or maybe I was on the Truman show and the entire universe and this was all one big gag for a TV show, who the fuck knows anymore.
However, I did not speak a single word, but instead listened to the dead silence… that and the nagging bitch of a mouth that Celestia and Twilight had. I swear to you, you just feel like you want to smother them to end the pain when they nag you to death.
You just want to hold a pillow up their face and listen to their dying screams instead of them talking. You would rather hear a bitch just scream real loudly while she's being tortured by some maniac with a chainsaw, as the chainsaw guy is poking at his own head with a clothes hanger and everyone is just screaming and yelling, and somewhere deep down you know it's not funny, yet you laugh at it anyway because your sense of humor has gone down in standards and it only degrades you even further.
I mean it… I really do, you just want to kill them or listen to that… and that’s saying a lot. Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood to be talked to by that point and I just needed some Aspirin and stuff. Anyways, aside from the nagging of death I was receiving through my own fragile ears, I listened to the music of the night, as I looked up at the stars above me so high that I thought I could reach them and touch them with my hand... hoof... whatever...
Of course I would have to be very high to think that because… even if that’s what the Grammar Nazis are looking for; even if they are just looking for grammar to send to the concentration camps and put them back in the ovens... I’m pretty sure they’re high too.
Actually, that makes a lot of sense, those critics’ that gives books and other shit or hardcore critics low score are possibly high.
Like... someone giving someone a point five out of ten on some story. And they get really picky if you talk to them about it. And then... uhhh... where am I going with this? Big and... fancy words? Fancy words for the highest of elites? I don't know.
Yea, I mean, if you think about it, it is redundant, or whatever that word means… I don’t know, it’s a big and fancy word and I feel like using it, because that’s all big and fancy words do instead of make it good. It makes us feel good about ourselves and that we belong at the New Yorker and went to Harvard when we use them, but as a review, it’s just gets repetitive and annoying. Why am I talking and writing this down instead of my life story?
I blame you grammar Nazis… I blame you for this… with you and your big and fancy words distracting me... like Grammar... and Nazis. I'm on to you. And you can forget about the deal with the Jews too! They're mine now... ok maybe not... I'll think about it...
So after looking upon the bright stars of the night with the music of going off in my head, Celestia and Twilight eventually reached the edge of Ponyville, where the small town was silent and not a creature was stirring throughout the town after Celestia and Twilight had put their worries at ease during my little predicament. Then the big ol’ bad Mr. Grinch took all the… wait… wrong story. That was the one with the Jew who stole Christmas... right?
Sorry, I was thinking of Dr. Seuss because not too long ago I took a shit, piss, and danced on his grave not too long ago because I was high as shit and I call bullshit on the “The Places You’ll Go” book.
I just call total bullshit on that; you would not go to those places. That is just whore shit because they don’t exist. It may sound stupid and it may be so that I am an idiot, but let this be known… I read Green Eggs and Ham bitch… And it was in front of the Congress of important people, and they heard every damn word from it to make a point about some law that I didn't like... And that makes me important damn it... and that's the only place that you or I will ever go. You're going nowhere but down hill, and that's where everyone is going on this train ride. Up doesn't exist, only down mother fucker!
Anyways aside from that, after a little bit of more walking, we eventually reached Twilight’s home, where Twilight entered to start the fireplace so heat can flow through the main room and possibly other rooms of the tree house library on the first floor. She then went on to start the water to get warmed up so tea could be.
I didn't even like tea so so far I wasn't having a good day thus far by this point. I didn't get to go on my trip with Wolf, TF kind of pissed me off and that thing happened, and I was already kidnapped and was going to be given tea. Now if it was milk, ti would have been a different story. But nope... fucking tea... just don't tell the southerners about that, they are really picky about when someone talks shit about their iced tea.
Well Celestia was about to go into Twilight’s home; the guards had their spears and other weapons ready to strike me if I were to hurt the princesses, but instead of me noticing it, Celestia gave them that look again and the guards backed off… for now….
Well Celestia then entered the main door to twilight’s house, which I’m not sure how considering she’s a big girl and the door is retentively small or in size I guess.
I don’t know, get a scientist on it, not me and what the word retentively means because I used it for no odd reason at all. How do I even know it? Some mysteries will never be solved.
Well, once she entered in the home, she found the fire place on and started to feel the room was getting all warmed up to just the right temperature. So she went towards the spot and found a nice red velvet pillow for me to sit on… or more like to plot me onto.
By the way, when would Twilight ever have red velvet pillows? I have no idea, but apparently they were there as well, along with two others for Twilight and herself to sit on as they would ask me questions about myself. It seemed a bit strange to me, never recalled that from the show, must have been... something else going on... eh? eh? ok...
Well, after she used her magic to levitate me onto the pillow, she then found a nice, warm, blanket that was purple to cover me up and to be honest with you… it felt kind of nice too.
I felt as if I was being loved for once and felt like a small child at heart and felt all nice and warm inside. It was like having a nice, warm hug put on me, and I couldn't help but feel all relaxed while having a small smile form on my face.
I then laid there with my eyes half closed or half opened. I kept going in and out, feeling drowsy as my body still felt weak to the bone. But somewhere in me and in my mind, I was able to keep going despite being low on steam. My eyes may have felt heavy to me but I kept pushing to stay up.
All the while, I laid down while having Celestia for some company to have, even though I didn’t talk to her though. I may have been awake, but I still wasn't in the mood to talk. Not only to mention, but it was Celestia, so I was kind of hesitant to talk to her to begin with. So instead of a friendly conversation to begin our encounters, there was only an awkward silence that filled the air as the sounds of a crackling fire was nearby.
Well, I waited and eventually the tea was ready and Twilight brought in a silver tray with her levitating it with her magic with three small white cups. She even had some sugar to go on the side and I also believe some honey as well… which I think or think not is a thing, but I’m not a British person.
You Brit bongs drink tea on a daily basis, so they would know more than I would. Just go ask your local Brit bong. And if there are none near you, then ask a Kangaroo banger, they are the second cousins to the brit bongs, with the New Zealanders being the third cousins and Hong Kong is the fourth, cause nineteen ninety seven never happened. It was all faked and you were all in a matrix to fool you that the brit bongs gave back Hong Kong. It's still theirs and that's why they'll invade at any moment. The Chinese are just the scape goat...
So Twilight put the tray down onto a wooden coffee table that was near us and she asked Celestia, “How many sugar cubes?”
Celestia responded with, “Two please, I prefer less sugar when it comes to tea.”
Twilight then proceeded to put the two cubes of sugar into Celestia’s cup of tea with her magic swiftly, to which she then magical gave it to her as well. Celestia then brought the cup to her lips with her horn and took a small, but graceful sip from it.
Twilight then eyed me and she asked me a question, but hesitated at first, “Um… Any sugar cubes for you at all?”
I then sat up with all the strength that I could muster and stared at her too, but I had somewhat of a look on my face that I can’t seem to describe but of a man’s face when he has seen some shit and was broken by it.
I then proceeded to say to her, “Um… five sugars would be just as fine if you could.”
Twilight then had a bit of a smirk on her face as she put the five sugar cubes into my cup, while she said to me, “Well then, I bet you like your tea sweet then. Well, at least we got something out of your mouth this entire night then for starters.”
By the way, I don’t usually drink hot tea, but when I do, it’s usually because I’m forced to, for example by Celestia. I mean it wasn't my thing but hey, it's what these ponies drink around here. Well that and coffee. There was like maybe some soda or energy drinks but it wasn't that common unlike water and cider. And for beer here... existed to some capacity. In a weird capacity to simply put. It was almost surreal you could say.
Well, Twilight then magically gave me my cup of tea as I reached out with both of my pony arms to hold it., Once I got a grip on it, it was burning hot as shit in my hooves, but I tried not to make a twitch due to the hot tea burning my fucking hooves off to show my dominance. I was showing off that I could take even though all I could do in my head was scream internally.
I then took a small little sip, and I’ll admit, it was sweet upon my tip of my tongue, but at the same time it burned my taste buds, as well as having a slight bitter taste at the back of my mouth.
As my taste buds were burning to death, Celestia then said to me, “Well, I agree that what we got out of him was good for starters. However, I suppose you know we will want some answers out of you; However, we’re going to take it slow and one step at a time. First off, before we begin, I do not want to be impolite and call you a thing, so may I ask what is your name good sir?”
I then paused for moment and took another sip of the hot tea that was once again killing my taste buds.
After I took my sip, which I was about half way through since the cup was small to begin with, I said to Celestia in a mellowed out tone of voice, “My name is Knight if that is what you’re wondering.”
Twilight then had a curious look on her face with one of here eyebrows raised and then she proceeded to ask me, “Is that your full name? Do you not have a last name or is that what you prefer to be called?”
I then looked back at Celestia as she was staring at me and waiting for an answer to come from my mouth.
I said to her as I hanged my head down and stared at the ground, “Well, if you want my origins of my name, I suppose I could say a word or two about it. Well, where should I start, or is there a start I should say? Well, to be quite honest with you two, which I’m not going to lie here, especially since you two are the princesses and all."
I looked up and just gave them a very straight blank stare at the two when I said that. Trust me, I was playing my part to stay undercover.
But Celestia and Twilight looked like they were pleased to hear me being open about myself as Celestia and Twilight gave a little warm towards me.
Celestia said to me, "Please, take your time Knight."
So I then continued with while lowering my head back down again and looking at the ground, "Well, I never knew what my real name was at all. I was pretty much abandoned at birth, not knowing who my real parents were. They didn’t even leave any note in whatever they left me in at all. They just left me at a side of a trail and that was it from what I was told. However, from what I can gather, I was saved not too long after I was abandoned. I don’t know who he or she was who took care of me. When I was growing up as a kid, I could never see the true face of who was my guardian. All I saw was a black face, a shadowy face with no description I can give you at all. In fact I recall being afraid of my guardian during my childhood. I used to try to run away and find an elaborate hiding spot so he or she could not find me. I would then try to pretend I was in a mythical place where I would not have to run from fear."
Celestia looked intrigued by my little made up story that I was making up on the fly as Celestia said, "Hmmm sounds interesting. Please do go on."
I then went on to say, "But of course he or she found me and sometimes I would be punished by he or she, but only to be punished how an average small child would be, so I wasn’t really abused. It was just somewhere in my mind that was making it more worse than what it really seemed. However, from what I can recall, I never heard he or she’s voice at all, but only the actions of the pony that was my guardian. I was never really given a name at all by the mysterious pony of my childhood, but I also felt sad that I did not have a name. I recall sometimes seeing some children playing around near a town’s park, and I would hear their names being called and I wished too that I had a name, but the shadowy pony never said a word, nor wrote it down or anything. I was completely left in the dark."
The two princesses were buying my little sob story as I tried my best to convey some act of emotions and having a sad toe of voice to go along with it to sell the story. Twilight even looked like she was having pity for me.
I went on to say to them, "So, during my teenage years, I eventually had to name myself. A few names went through my head, and eventually one stood by me because it stood out for me and it meant something to me. I also found it to be very cool of a name to have. So, about roughly ten years ago I suppose perhaps more for I have lost count of time since then, I have been calling myself Knight. If you’re wondering about the shadowy pony and my rest of the child hood with him or her, well, let’s just say that I was forced to leave once I reached an appropriate age level to be on my own and live on my own. Who knows though, I may have been killed by the time I reached my adult age by my guardians and had to be beheaded."
I was making it all up as I went. To be fair, since I wasn't prepared for this, it was kind of hard to make a convincing story for them to believe in. I ended up starting to pick bits and pieces from vague and forgotten movies that nobody watched to add to the story. And which movie I used, that's for you to find out... wink...
I went on to talk about, "The funny thing is, I sometimes wonder if I would ever see that pony that took care of me ever again. The true question is, would I be angry at him or her or would I be wanting to say thank you to him or her. Well, if you wonder such an answer to a question that burns in your mind, the answer is neutral. I don’t care if I see him or her again, neither was I taught by the pony, nor was I was abused by the pony. I have no right to be angry at the pony, nor right to show my appreciation towards the pony."
I was trying my best to play up the act, as Celestia and Twilight started to look sorry for me and I think for a second, twilight almost had a tear in her eye... but she probably just had something in it instead. But I did catch them at least as they weren't saying a single word to me and rather looked like they were hooked.
I continued to tell the two princesses, "However, when I was forced to leave, if you are wondering that is, that I eventually figured things out on my own. Although I will admit, I wished and I still do that I had a family that I grew up with who would have given me love and affection and helped me and that would have given me knowledge of the outside world, instead of leaving me alone and figuring it all out by myself. I really could have used the help and knowledge, because I have gotten myself in trouble a few times before as well.
Twilight then said to me in a pitiful tone, "You poor thing, no one should grow up without knowledge."
I went on to say, "Anyways, after a while, I then went off on my own and eventually I made a few friends along the way and a few enemies. Some enemies are gone for good and won’t come back to try and kill me, but others will never be forgotten. They will always haunt me and my dreams at night, as they still do for me every night. I do wonder sometimes when they will be back, but I made a lot of mistakes, but it has been, what... ten years since I’ve seen them? And I reckon that they have forgiven for my mistakes that I have done to make them bring their wrath upon my poor and lost soul.”
I then put my head up and looked at both Twilight and Celestia. Twilight seemed to be in a bit of a shock, while Celestia was sort of impressed by my story and had a little grin go across her sweet face.
She then said to me, “Well then, it seems we did not have to say much to get a lot out of you now. I was thinking we would have to go with other means to get you to talk. Well, I suppose that is a good thing for now. I am also surprised and shocked at what a life you have had in the past Knight.”
I then said, “Well… I suppose it is, but I’m pretty sure somepony has a more surprising life then me.”
Twilight then told me, “Do you really think that Knight? I mean, I have never heard of such a life story. I do not believe that any other pony like you could go through with that. In fact, that sounds a bit insane and unbelievable like you just made it up.”
I then said to that bitch of a Twilight… or bitch Twilight, “Well, I assure you that I am not lying to the both of you. It really did happen, even if it does sound unrealistic at times; everything did happen that way. I’m not sure why that it did have to happen that way, but perhaps it was meant for a reason. Maybe it’s just the way it is and that is that.”
Celestia then said to me, “Well… what do you believe the way that it happen then Knight?”
I then replied back with a pause at first, but then the words that came out of my mouth was, “Well… what I believe is different then what others do. I believe that the universe wanted to screw me over. Not because of what I have done, nor did I pissed it off, but it just likes to watch you fuck up. It just likes to see you in pain and it enjoys it, but only because it’s just the way it is. I believe everything else that others believe is bullshit. Why would the universe screw you over for a reason? Couldn’t the universe find another way around it to make it better for you as much as possible?"
I then paused for dramatic effect and try to let the moment of silence let me sell the fake story that I was telling them.
I then said after the moment's of silence, "It’s also bullshit it was meant for nothing. Sure, sometimes it happens where things in life are completely pointless, but at times, there’s a secret behind it, even if it didn’t mean anything, there’s always something behind that went down. So to be quite honest with you, I’m just fucked in life, and sometimes I can either take some good fortune from someone, or live with what I have to fear every day.”
Both of the princesses were silent in the room for a bit, until Twilight said to me, “Well then, I was not expecting you to curse, but I suppose it is alright, for it emphasizes the meaning of your choice of words.”
I then stared at Twilight for a bit… but only because she was using those fancy words and complaining about my foul language. I mean, does it really matter? Seriously, did it really matter that I made a specific vibration with my vocal cords that then produced certain sounds waves that graced your precious ears?
I mean you could always not think about what it means and think about it as just as a curse word and the true actually meaning behind the word itself and you’ll be fine and would be able to hear thousands of F-bombs all day long. I mean, that is how I curse up a storm and it doesn’t bother me one bit. Then again I wasn't from around here to begin so maybe it wasn't what they were used to. But still, it wasn't that big of a deal.
I mean I turned out just fine… except with all the weed, crack from time to time, unintentional deaths, accidents, doing illegal stuff and a whole lot of other shit that I shouldn't say without a lawyer in my presence.
Anyways, I then responded to her with while giving a little smile, “Well, it does help get it off my chest when I do curse, so in a way it’s kind of helpful to curse. I just need to lift so much frustration from my back, it feels good when I do it.”
Twilight then said, “Yes, and I do see your point in the matter, but the profanity is way too much. The language should really be tuned down, especially since the fact that there are sometimes fillies and colts around. It is important that they do not hear that type of language… unless of course they are growing up in a bad family where they are used to such language, then I suppose it should be alright, as long as it is used in moderation and to only emphasize.”
I then said to her while starting to have a crack in my little smile, “Well, let’s not get into the whole debate with cursing. I believe that can be left for another time.”
Celestia then said to Twilight, “Yes, I do agree with Knight here. We have more important things to concentrate on for right now then simple debates. Although I do agree with Twilight about the use of profanity. It shouldn't be used as much and that we need to set a good example for the fillies and colts of Equestria. Now, Knight, another question that is on both on our minds is that what were you doing in the Everfree Forest, especially this late at night?”
Twilight also put her comment in with, “Yes, do you not realize that the Everfree Forest is dangerous? You could have gotten hurt, or even worse, killed for that matter.”
I then paused for a few seconds, taking in what Celestia said. I said underneath my breath with a low enough tone that they couldn't hear me speak, "Sure whatever yo say you sun shine bitch."
And then I talked about my answer.
I said with just a simple tone and putting on a fake smile, “Well… it’s a long story. To make a long story short, that was my home.”
I then saw Twilight and Celestia’s eyes light up with surprise in them. Celestia then looked a little confused to which she then asked me, “Excuse me, but I believe I did not hear what you said Knight. Did you say that the Everfree Forest was your home?”
I then said with the same tone, “Yeah… you heard right, the forest was my home, for about seven months I think. Kind of lost track of time in there, I don't have a calendar on me all the time.”
Twilight then asked me, but in sort of a yelling tone that wasn't quite yelling, like a medium yell, “Your home!? How could the Everfree Forest be your home!? The Forest is dangerous. I do have a friend that does live in the Everfree Forest, but that is different! She was used to living in the forest because she knew many things about it! How could a pony like yourself can live in such a home like that!?”
I then told her my response in a calm voice and not in a loud bitch voice like the one she did, “ First off, lower your voice. Let me see where I should begin..."
I then raised my head up while rolling my eyes and putting my right hoof to my chin while scratching it thinking about my response while going 'hmmmm'.
I then looked back to them while putting my right hoof down and said to them, " Well for starters I’ve always lived in the forest. As I said, when I was taken in by the mysterious pony, he or she lived in the forest. Therefore, I was always used to the dangers of the forest, as well as the mysterious pony. Second, when I said I made friends over the years, they also taught me how to live with the land. One in particular taught me how to survive in any type of forest, even if it considered to be the most dangerous of them all, I could survive in it. I was taught how to build a fire, quick escapes from animals that try to kill me, to determine what plant is poison and what is not."
Twilight looked interested as her eyes glowed a bit like a half glow in the darkie and said, "Oooohhhh..."
After Twilight's little praise, I continued to say, "I know very much about the forests than any other pony would know about, and I have been since I was a child. However that doesn’t mean I have never been in civilization before; I have been from town to town before, but only as a quick stop. As you can tell if you look upon my ass or flank if you want to call it, it is bare with no mark on it. It’s sad to say that I have no clue what my special talent is, nor do I care to find out. If it comes, it comes, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”
Of course, by now you all know that this was the best lie that I could come up with on such a short notice. Granted it wasn't all quite believable and I have a feeling someone would give it a point five out of ten, but I think it did the job. I mean, let’s get something straight here, I try my very best to keep a low profile about my origins.
I’m pretty sure that they are not ready for such information that there is a portal that leads to other universes and I am an alien type being to them as well. In fact, I believe chaos may occur, however since these are ponies and not humans, I believe it would be fine to tell them.
Although I'm just guessing when I say that. For al I know they could all go bat shit insane and go berserk on one another by simply findings out about the other universes and potential 'aliens' coming through. But then again I might just be overthinking that... this is the land of magical talking ponies that are bright colorful... they'll be happy enough to greet their own genocide into their home because they want to give peace a chance.
But then again I think I'm overthinking it again. I'm sure they were used to weird creatures. It's just that it would be a hard concept for them grasp about different universes and the like, while trying to explore and gain knowledge about it. Or... maybe nothing happens at all and none of this is special. Who knows.
Of course, with how I really did know how to do all of this with the training and shit, Well I have been trained by TK so I know what I’m doing.
I have done this for many years. Although my expertise is limited as I only trained for so long under TK. He was harsh on me to say the least, but I tried to train under him and he taught me enough to know the bare necessities of survival... way back when. I kind of forgot by that point so it's surprising I even survived back in the Everfree for so long. But hey, I survived didn't I? It was like I was a pro at it. I’m even better then Bear Grills, except I don’t drink my own piss.
Unless of course the only thing to drink is RC cola, then I would drink my own piss. It tastes better.
Anyways, Celestia then said to me, “Well then, I am certainly impressed with you Knight. I never thought I would ever see a pony with such skills of survival. The most I have ever seen in a pony that knew about surviving in a minor forest for a few months, but not a year or possibly more.”
Twilight then said to me, “Yes, I am certainly impressed too, especially that you can survive the Everfree Forest for a Year. Even my friends will be amazed when I tell them about you tomorrow morning as well… unless of course you’re uncomfortable with that sort of thing.”
Twilight gave me an awkward, yet nervous look when she asked me that. She looked like she was even embarrassed me to say that in front of me.
I then said to her while raising my right eyebrow, “Noooooo... I’m totally cool with you doing that. It’s not like it would change anything for me, right?”
Twilight just stared at me with a nervous smile, and then tried to move her eyes away from my spot and look somewhere else in the room instead of answering.
I then said to my self, "Ok then... great conversation we had there..."
I then took my last sip of my tea, which had been cooled down by now to a reasonable temperature. I even almost forgot about my cup of tea. Although with Celestia’s and Twilight’s cups, I believe they forgot about theirs as well, but only because they were all caught up with me and my life story that I lying about and that I was telling them.
Twilight then said, “Well, my friends will love to hear your story whenever they get a chance to meet you. Although I do admit that I do feel somewhat bad for you Knight. You were never with your real parents, which it is a sad thing, but perhaps it was for the better because maybe they would have abused you instead of treating you fairly. I mean, they did leave you on a path all alone with no one to be cared by, so it does make some sort of sense. I also feel bad for you because you barely socialized with anypony else throughout your years of life. Sure, you made a few friends, along with a few enemies as well, from what you have told us, but you never had a normal life where you just had a simple place to live at and friends to hang out with all the time. I do not think you also fell in love with any mare, well, at least from what I can gather from your experience, am I correct?”
I then replied with, “Well, you are correct, I never fell in love with anypony in my life. Although who knows, I'm still open and could meet someone. Although I do admit, I don’t care at all that I didn’t have a normal simple life. I really don’t care at all, I couldn’t care any less by it. I' totally fine without having a normal childhood and living a normal, simple, kicked back life.”
Just like the fake story that I was telling them, that part a lie. Deep down somewhere though, it did kind of bother me. Now I wasn't regretting me finding the portals and what not. I had no regret by that point and still have no regrets.
Yet sometimes I wonder if I didn't find that portal. Things would have been different for me. Yet I can't quite recall what my life eve was back then back on Earth you know? It seems like it was no more than a dream to me back then. Yet I know it happened so there's that for ya. I know it wasn't all in my mind. And I know this wasn't all in my mind and that I was somehow near death and that I was really still in that cave back in Tennessee and that I feel and cracked my head...
I'm not questioning my existence right now, this is real. You're reading it. So... don't go making conspiracy theories about that stuff. And if you do, the glow in the darks would like to have a word with you... and you can't run them over, they are car proof.
Although if I have to be serious here for a moment, I would like to say I did wish I had a kicked back life. That kind of life where all I had to do is relax, be calm, maybe find a ice decent job somewhere and make a decent living and just have a good time with life itself and appreciate the little things that it brings me. By this point I was striving for it. But that's another topic for another day.
Anyways, Celestia then said to me, “Well, I will admit Knight, that you are one of the most extraordinary ponies I ever met in my entire life. In fact, I think you would be at the top of the list I would say. However I do realize that it is quite late for you and I can tell you that you are tired within your own eyes. So there is one more question that we would like to ask you before we end this and you can be on your way. That beam of light that I saw coming from your horn or... your entire body… what was that exactly?”
Celestia was quite confused yet looked curious as to what even happened out there and anticipating my response. I then stared at the floor, eyes wide open, not sure what to say about that. To be honest with you, I did not even know what they were talking about. It was as if I had blacked out and did not even remember the little episode even happening. Although I do remember some of the slightest of things, but I had thought it was a dream of some sort or of an illusion to my very eyes. I mean, what else could it have been? But if it was real then I had no clue how to answer that.
I then sat there on the pillow while looking down and wondering what had happened to me.
Celestia then asked me once more while leaning in a little bit towards me, “Well, what happened to you Knight? What happened that we saw of such amazing magic that was coming from you?”
I then started to feel like blacking out and not answering cause I wasn't sure what to say. I felt like closing my eyes and just go to sleep and when I wake up, they wouldn't be there and I would still be in my little cave and that this was all a bad dream that I was having.
However this wasn't going away and I had to say something. I then pushed myself and gave her sort of and answer that they could at least work with, “I… I’m not sure at all. I kind of thought it was just a dream and you just found me in the cave back there and decided to rescue me. Could you… recap what happened?”
Celestia looked like she was preparing herself for an explanation to me, but then Twilight gave her a gesture that said, ‘Bitch, you better not do what I’m think you’re doing! You put that hoof down and let me take care of this you bitch… Or I’ll slap you across the face and give you a mean bitch slapping! Is that what you want you fucking whore bitch!?’
Ok maybe not exactly like that way, let me give you a white translation of the black guy language. ‘Excuse me good sir/lady, but I believe you have done quite enough this fine evening we are delightfully enjoying. I would like to take over for the moment while you rest and drink some iced tea under this dreadful heat.
Now if you do not mind, I feel like raping a bagel with some cream cheese so it would be easier for the rape hole… if you know what I mean. Then after the quite interesting conversation we are having about jimmies and their fancy big words, I shall retire to my room, rest my poor eyes, and have a nice dinner tonight later on. Then we shall invite a black man that goes by the name of Jamie Foxx and Christopher Waltz, to which Samuel L. Jackson tells me that they are only here to take one of my slaves away from me and not for a boxing black guy.
Which may I remind you that is the moralist thing a black person can do because pure horrifying that a black person would do ever such a white person thing. Then we shall bang a hammer on a black chick’s head, get twelve thousand dollars from them, and then be on our merry, little, separate ways… until the black starts a fight just like any other typical black would do like hitting an Asian because of their weird, goofy little eyes is what scare blacks the most. ’
Ok then, that might have been a bit descriptive for the white man, but you know how Grammar Nazis typically are in their habitats… hardcore, sometimes based, sometimes larpers, sometimes just a plain old wannabe gangsta. They like to pretend they are just thee for the grammar, but we all know what they are really after.
Yeah you know what I'm talking about... Jews... word Jews. You some letters are Jewish like the letter J and the W. But they are secret Jews. They won't admit it to the other letters that they have banned from one hundred and eight different languages over the years, but believe them, they deserve your and everyone else's pity because they are poor and you must feel bad for them. But the Grammar Nazis, they see through the J's and W's lies. They know they are Jews in disguise.
And because of that, they really want them delicious letters. They want to eat them because they are hungry and they look appetizing to them. Only problems they don't exist in their realities and they can't exactly put them in the back of the ovens. So they have to do a whole ritual and a blood sacrifice in order conjure up the spirit of Ike Turner or something and get the letters to be real or something.
Wait, what I'm talking about. You guys aren't ready for the esoteric stuff yet. I'm getting off track, what was I talking about again? Something about Asians or something... let's go with that.
Anyways aside from the Grammar Nazis wanting the Jews, the Asian translation of that gesture that Twilight gave Celestia would also be to Asians, ‘Why is there no math homework!? Give me math now! Why is this not yellow! Why is this not Fluttershy that we speak of!? Why is this not A plus! Screw this bullshit, I go smash and cause an accident with my new fancy American yellow Chevy car…. then I go work at dry cleaning business for the wage of cats so I can one day eat them with some Asian sauce to go along the side!’
If you want a German Translation, it would be ‘Killing the Jews and the Holocaust was a lie.’
If you want a pure and authentic Grammar Nazi translation… well that would be pointless because it’s pretty much the German translation… except that there’s Asians as well instead of the lonely Jews.
That and the Muslims apparently. I can see why they want to piss them off with Muhammad all of a sudden… and start World War Three. Then again… who doesn’t want to start World War Three nowadays? It's all the rage now and hip with the kids. come on down to funky town and we'll bomb the civilians and we'll commit all of the war crimes together.
Anyways I’m just getting sidetracked, the main point is that Twilight made a gesture to tell Celestia that she can handle it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just have a little too much energy starting this journal. It's so exciting sharing this stuff for once. So you've got to give me some slack on my first... what is it... night? Two nights? Come on, give me a break, I'm getting a lot off my chest here. And by the time you're reading this wherever you are, whoever that you may be, you'll have the full thing... so you'll have a lot to look forward to.
Well Twilight said to me, “Well, to recap the events that unfolded before us not too long ago, we heard quite the loud, noisy, ear piercing, thunderous, shrill yelling that we heard coming from the Everfree Forest. I will admit though it was quite rowdy and riotous to me in my opinion. We even heard you speak in a quite aged and elderly mature language of the Royal Cantorlot Voice, which rarely anypony speaks of nowadays. Celestia and I decided to shrug it off as a modest and diminutive coincidence.
'However, what we did not anticipate that you were to shoot out a beam of luminosity of pure radiance and illumination. To be quite honest with you Knight, Celestia and I were flabbergasted and staggered by this occurrence or incident that most would put into words.
'We have never seen such marvelous capability before in our lives before. Celestia and I made a pact that we would examine the origins of such a likelihood of an occurrence to ever have happened. We took a little trudge through the Everfree Forest to get to the source that turned out to be you of the power that we were seeing before our very eyes.
'However, when we say it was you Knight, we did not know what to reflect on or judge anything really. We were ruminate through our very minds, wearisomely to figure out what to do in such a unforeseen or bewildering as kids say these days, of an experience like this for example to ever occur in a lifetime.
'Alas, we were about to make a decision or reasonably that is you might say that we were considering to either presume that you were an antagonistic, aggressive, unreceptive, unsympathetic, and unwelcoming rival of Equestria or that of to Celestia herself.
'We also came to a termination to our pondering in our thoughts of what to do with you, that we were to impair and wound you, but not too much but enough to dwindle you in your power and diminish your strength.
'So that you would have enough vigor to confer and deliberate or consulting you may put it and answer our many queries for we had for you at the time. We were also bearing in mind to take you to an infirmary and have the doctor’s take a gaze at you and see how you were able to pull such mind-boggling enchanted magic charm in the dead of night under Luna’s beautiful midnight moon.
'Which may I add that is clear and vivid in the night sky, as her dear sister retreats in her chambers to regain energy that she has lost over her duties as princess of Equestria. However, we then had a uncanny and peculiar sensation she had not felt in many years, in fact not since my friends and I used the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon. Celestia decided to walk up to you and gently put her hoof on your shoulder to appease you, which may I add shocked me that worked.
'What happened next is that you then proceeded to plummet to the ground, but Celestia did grasp you before you fell any further to the ground. What I recall next is that you decided not to make a single resonance while we were walking back here, to which we are here where we started our little chat.”
My god… those descriptive and brilliant words that she used. That was so amazing…. I wanted to fucking punch her and slap her across the fucking face that son of a bitch! At the time, after she talked, or while she was talking and all, my mouth dropped to the fall or slack-jawed that is, in amazement, of pure shock what she was saying.
What was going through my mind at the time was, ‘My god… the way that she had said every one of those words was almost flawless. Yet for some reason I really want to punch her and beat her to a bloody pulp because she said all of that just now. Why do I want to punch her so much? It's a weird feeling that I'm getting right now. Weird. Just plain ol' weird to me. I mean, I shouldn't be angry, but now I just feel pissed. Hmmpf... I think it's just nothing. Nothing to worry about at all. Yeah I don't think I should be worried about the rage that is slowly building up inside of me, I should just bottle all of to up ad keep it down. That's healthy for me, right?
'I mean a minute ok I was making some references and that was fun, even if I was making them directly and was obvious, it was still fucking fun as shit because it is quite boring right now, dull, and grey as we speak! Dam it… Why do I feel so angry right now? You know what, it's fine... just... let me think about some other stuff. Like let me thing of a topic to think about... hmmm... Whatever happened to those simpler days? You know what… that doesn’t need an explanation. It’s those Grammar Nazis fault… those damn Grammar Nazis who complain about stuff and the Jewish letters that is behind all of this somehow… except for the Nostalgia Critic… he’s cool because at least he makes fun of things. That and he jokes around and it is quite fun… even if it is someone’s work, they would get a light out of it. But then again I haven't seen him like forever. I wonder what happened to him?
Now that I wonder… whatever happened to special K? Does that still exist back on Earth? I have not had Special K in a long ass time now that I recall it. In matter of fact, whatever happened to K Ballard or however you spell that long time forgotten fucker’s name? I haven’t seen Ballard in a long time, I hope he’s dead right now. This is a weird moment in my head right now; I do hope this does not happen again later in the future. I'm sure it won't or else I have some problems. Whatever, back to whatever these two bitches are talking to me about and shit like that.’
When Twilight finished, I tried to make a normal look that wasn't awkward, and not an angry look because I was just pissed off and was about to explode due to her using such fancy words of pure wisdom and fanciness.
Well while I was doing that, Celestia was also a bit surprised as well; it also looked like she was having one of those awkward moments with Twilight at the moment. Anyways, Twilight was waiting for a response from me, since it was a recap for I have forgotten and thought I had a blackout during that magical moment in my life of that beam of light.
I then had said to her bitch face that I wanted to punch so much, “Well then… I seem to be glad that I now know what happened, with your… ‘words’… and I gladly appreciate the fact that you explained it very well… to… me… could we talk about something else for right now?”
Celestia then said to the both of us, “Yes, I do agree with Knight here. We only have so little time and the night will start to age at some point and will be vanquished by the sun in a few hours or so. We must start to end this conversation and get to the last question. Besides, I do need some rest for I had a long day of hard work. Knight, our final question is that, or more likely our final question that would lead to small questions, is that was that a power you posses or of the magic from you used?”
They then both stared at me, waiting for my answer. I honestly had no clue, but I went and took a wicked guess that it was from my horn… and surprisingly I was right because I had a weird feeling coming from my horn. I then said to Celestia and Twilight, “Well… as you could tell, I was having a blackout so I wouldn’t know. However if I had to guess, I would say my horn for I felt like it is most tired and weakened at the point.”
Celestia then took a sip of her tea that had just been cooled down and said to me with sweet, glaring eyes at me, “Well, I do see your point, and I would agree with you as well. It seems that if it did come from your horn. I even saw it come from your horn as well as I was walking up to you. Although the magic did envelop your entire body, so it did look weird to me, but I have without a doubt that it came from your horn and your magic as well. I asked you because I need to make sure what I saw was true and not a trick of my old age, even though it does not matter for I am immortal.”
I then had a bit of a curious and confused look on my face, for I did not understand what they meant by that. For fuck’s shake, I know it’s obvious, but cut me some slack, it has been years since I saw any of the show.
I then asked both of them while tilting my head a little bit to the side, “What do you mean you had to make sure? I mean it’s just magic, nothing special really to get over about. I mean, it’s just my magic, that’s all. I mean you guys have the most impressive magic there is, for you are Alicorns and princesses of Equestira.”
Then Celesita cut in and pointed out, “Yes, we are Alicorn which we do hold the power for the most powerful magic in the world. However, the titles of princesses are half-true as well. A leader may hold a great power of amazement and skills, but a leader can also hold false truth as well.”
Twilight then put her two cents in… even though the saying is really fucking old and why the fuck am I even saying it now?
Well, she then said with, “Knight, if that was simply your horn, then that amazes me! That is the most powerful magic we have ever seen Knight; don’t you understand!? Alicorns are able to only do half as powerful as that, but only when combined! With you, it only took you and you alone to make that even happen! There is something odd and very special about you Knight… something neither we never seen before, nor has anypony has ever seen before in their lives.”
Celestia then cut in again with, “Yes, I do agree with Twilight, Knight. You hold even more magic then her, mine’s, or my sisters all combined at once. You hold very great potential, and we believe that there is something special about you…although I will admit; this is not the first time I ever saw this magic happen. I do recall ages ago that I saw this, but I believe my memory is starting to wear down on me and I am afraid that I am forgetting a few things from my childhood. However, I did see this somewhere, but I cannot put my hoof on it, but I am familiar with this magic. However, until the time when I do remember where I have seen this before, I would not like to see magic like this go to waste.”
Celestia then got up while she was talking with her tall, slender like legs, walked over towards the window or one of Twilight’s windows that is and dramatically looked outside into the night sky for dramatic effect, even if it was unintentional.
After she was done talking, I was still confused at this point and said, “Wait… what are you talking about Celestia? I am afraid I’m not getting your signal here. Is this a sex thing or a cult thing? Because if it’s either of those, I would like to have no part in any of it… unless it’s to kill the zebras, those bastards owe me money. Other I do not swing that and last time I was in a cult, it didn't so well. They all ended up drinking the kool-aid.”
Celestia then turned her head around with a bit of a smirk on her face as if she had great news. She gave me a slight side glance. However, apparently she didn’t hear what I said about the genocide of the zebras… or the cult thing, and sadly not the sex thing, but for some odd reason I felt like I could go with the sex thing for a bit.
Then again, I did snap myself out of it before the thought continued to grow any lager in my brain. I've got to sty a virgin somehow to earn my virgin points.
Well Celestia then said to me, “You have nothing to fear Knight, for I have great news for you, even though it just came up. You have nothing to fear of bad news from me, nor Twilight Sparkle. How should I explain this to you? You see, years ago, I made Twilight Sparkle a personal student of mine, during one of the days that was almost over. I recall that day that the sun was setting, and Luna was still on the moon at the time. But sadly I was on my way back to the castle.
However, Twilight then started to have some sort of magic to which she made spells that I did not know was possible for a young filly like her. I went to see who was responsible, and I was impressed with her, so I made her my personal student She had did a very well job compared to my other students in the past.
She eventually did so well that she proven herself that she was ready to become a Princess. However, that was a year ago, and now a year later, I see a unicorn that is not meant to hold much power, but holds even greater power then all of the Alicorns in the world combined and can hold so much potential and even making a difference in this world if that said unicorn puts some effort and uses it for good. In other words Knight, I would like to make you a personal student of mine so I could possibly train you and you could possibly even teach me about your magic as well. I would like to give you a little nudge in the right direction of your magic, and perhaps even learn to tame it and shape it in ways that neither you or I could ever imagine.”
I then said to her, “Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. You’re going to try and train me with my magic that you clearly have no control over and is much powerful than yours. How does that make any sense?”
Celestia then continued to have a smirk on her lips to which she then said to me, “Well, you do have a point. However, that doesn’t mean we cannot guess and try, or perhaps even unlock certain spells that you did not think you could do before. Perhaps it is the same thing as my magic, but all it is that it has a much more powerful affect.
For example, if I would to order a normal unicorn to levitate an object, he would do so by one object. However, if you were to do such a thing, you would hold multiple objects at once without weakening at all.
However, that is only in theory. All we can do is to try our best and see. Besides, I can also learn from you if you could allow it. Besides, even if we do fail on your magic, there is still plenty to learn as my personal student and at the school as well.”
I then went ahead and made a comment, “Really… that‘s just too hard to believe. I mean, that school pretty much only has unicorns in it and it would seem to me that it has something to do with magical sunshine and farts kind of bullshit. I mean, the only other thing is that you’re a racist.
Are you a racist, because if you are I will totally hang out with you and then we can make jokes all day about the blacks and the Asians and what it would be like if they combined to make an Asian Black Jew. No wait… there’s no Jew in that equation… no wonder Hitler faked the Holocaust.”
Celestia then shut me up and she said to me… still in a happy tone Grammar Nazis… still in a happy tone… no need to get hostile with me you fucking retards.
Well, she said, “Oh, there is much more that goes on within the school grounds then what you have heard. Besides, I would rather have a student have their time fully appreciated and not wasted at a school if they would to only study magic itself. At the school, besides magic of course, you will also be learning the history of Equestria, mathematics, science, language, how to read and write Equestrian, for it is almost a dying language of the ages, and much more. There are also social events and gatherings, along with clubs of your interest, and if you are into such a thing, there are sports teams you can join as well. You can even take extra classes if you wish. There is plenty of extra classes to choose from including art, music, sports, and even more advanced classes to improve your skills if you wish to go beyond what you are already capable of.”
Keep in mind she said that last part with a smile, which makes me suspicious, even though she said everything else with a smile. However that last part just weirded me out. It's not like it was giving me an premonitions or anything, it just seemed a bit off to me and my mind couldn't help but run off and imagine some dark stuff with those implications. Like, what kind of advanced classes are we talking about? Are we talking about murder here? Are we talking about fucking? Is that what she was getting at? Huh?
Although I'm sure she wasn't referring to breeding, one could only think in their head what the advanced classes is. I mean I know I was over thinking it, but still... what is the beyond that she spoke of? Maybe she's thinking about luring ponies in with reasonable interests on student loans and low tuitions. and then when you least expect it, BAM, as you walk into class, she cracks your skull in and uses your lifeless body as life size voodoo dolls to conjure up the sprit of Mike Burnner... or summoning Dan Wee. And you don't want to mess around and summon Dan Wee. I mean don't get me wrong, Dan Wee is a good guy, he's the best of us. The one we don't deserve, but the one that we need. But don't go around summoning Dan wee like that, Dan Wee isn't going to be too happy if you fuck with him like that... he'll kick your ass. Just ask all the people he killed... and you can't cause they fucking dead...
Anyways, I then stood there, trying my best to collect all what Celestia had said to me and think about the fuck I was going to do at this point. I wasn't sure what to do since I wasn't exactly used to this kind of situation, especially since I was all by myself. For all I knew, this was all a trick and these were the aliens from the Dragon Ball Z Season 2 filler episodes. Maybe that was this universe. You never know... you can never be too careful.
Then Celestia continued her talk with me for whom she then said to me, “That is what you will, or would expect I should say, at my school. Of course you being my personal student and all, you will have other things to do that not the average student would get to do. For one thing, there is some benefits to it, but just like every benefit, there are some downsides to it"
I then just stared blankly at her as I then nodded my head to her, following along with what she had to say, even though it didn't look like I was paying attention. But a little part of my brain was paying attention.
Celestia continued to say to me, "For one thing, you will have private magic lessons with me and depending on how busy my day is, it could end up taking place inside the walls of Cantorlot castle. Of course, you will have full access to the castle grounds whenever you would like, although it is mostly because it is just in case if you wanted to see me about something. Then of course, you will also have your own personal room in the towers. However, there is only one that used to belong to Twilight. But if you were to choose to be my personal student, I will give her room to you and you can make it your own."
I then started to show a little bit of interest on my face as my eyes looked intrigued. But it was me just acting and really deep inside I had no idea what I was even doing as I said to her, "Go on..."
So Celestia continued to talk to me, "You will also have full access to the school grounds. Well, certain areas of course, along with breaking the school’s curfew time. However, it does not mean you will have the full night to spend on whatever you may want to do. However, you will get some extra hours to go out and about the school grounds. I am even willingly to let any friends that you make while at the school to join you and you could possibly have some private fun as well."
I then asked Celestia with a bit of curiosity on my face, "So what are the downsides then? Is there even any cause it sounds god to me."
Celestia answered me with, "Well the downsides do exist of course, but not too many to worry about. For one thing, you won’t have too much time to have some free time to yourself. IT's because my sessions are longer than the usual average class that you would have at the school. However, the extra hours do make up for it I suppose. Another downside, which really is depending on your interests, that you will have to come with me on certain events that take place at the castle. The other downsides are rather small and not noticeable, and will only reveal themselves if you were to choose to be my personal student.”
She then stopped talking to which I then sat there and thought about what she said.
I then had a look on my face that I can't find the words to explain on how it looked on my face to you. And I swear to you grammar Nazis and Jews maybe, I don't know; that I will blow your brains out in front of your kids if you make a complaint about it. I'm half serious and half not. I'm not sure where you live or who you are... but I'll find you... in Minecraft, and I will get on to your Christen Mincecraft server and blow your children's avatars away. I mean it, I'm not afraid to do it. No Christian Minecraft server is safe from the likes of me damn it.
Anyways, I had asked Celestia a quick question while moving my right hoof in front of her a bit, “Well, I heard what you had to say about the school and me being your student, but what if I choose not to join you and the dark side of the force?”
Celesita continued to have a smile on her face, but one that appeared to have been slowly fading as if she didn’t like the thought about me leaving. It was as if she wanted me to stay, as if she would be depressed and hang herself if I left.
If I were to leave, she would cry and become a ruthless ruler because of the effect of my leaving, which she would be sad and cry. Like the idea of me not being there would eat up inside of her and not let the regret go. It was tat kind of a fading smile that she had going on, like a possessive girlfriend that is going to rape you in your sleep. I don’t know why that would happen, but it looked like that on her smile… which sound ridiculous but apparently it sounds good to the Jews so whatever floats their boats I guess.
I will never understand them and their ways of being a Jewish grammar Nazi. Such a thing doesn't even exist.
Well Celestia then said to me in an awkward tone of voice, “Oh Knight, do not fear, for I will not… force you to… go.”
I could tell that she was trying to force a smile as she was saying that as she was not trying to think of a single thought about me saying no to her. But her smile was twitching a little bit, almost as if it wanted to break and fall down to a frown to show her discomfort towards me saying possibly no. She really wanted me to say yes. and who knows, maybe she would get a little bit of kick back from the press if I did agree.
Celestia continued to say, “As I mentioned before, I said if you were to be my personal student, you would have a personal choice in the matter. If you were to say no, you have my word that you will be in no trouble at all and you will be free to go. However, I would admit, it would be ashamed if you said no, because I would like to understand you magic and why is it so powerful than any of the other Alicorns put together."
Twilight then interjected into the conversation with a small smile on her face as she said to me, "Not only to mention, but many ponies would do almost anything to be her personal student like how I was."
It was a great piece of conversation for Twilight. Just uhhh... great piece of detail to add to the topic... what a fucking bitch I say. My only response to Twilight was to slightly roll my eyes at her and just continued looking at Celestia.
Celestia then continued where she left off and said while putting her right hoof to her chest for a bit for some reason, "However, I am willingly to pay you for a home right here in Ponyville and perhaps even get you a job that you would be most comfortable at as well. We could possibly even discover what your cutie mark is as well while we are at it. You can even be friends with Twilight if you wish to do such a thing. However, this is if you chose to not go with me and become my personal student."
I then gave her a weird look with a bit of a side glance and said, "Ok then, very interesting off right there then."
Celestia then said to me with a little bit of a nervous smile on her face, "Now then, what is your choice? Or do you need some time to think it through?”
I then sat there, wondering what my next move should be. Considering the fact that TF is still alive and that he was about to kill me just immediately, it would not have been safe to stay in Ponyville.
Sure, Twilight is there and she is good at magic, but my magic seemed to scare off TF and was way beyond Twilight's magic. That only led me to believe that Twilight wouldn't be able to hold her own against him even if her life depended on it. Besides, I knew he was going to come back one day, but of all the years that I had known him, each time he was beaten, he only returned even stronger; eventually to a point where he could be like a god of some sort.
Therefore, the obvious thing to do is to get all the help I can get. I wasn't exactly sure how this was all going to go down, or even if TF would try to out smart me in some other way, but it was at the very least a start and something to work with at least. First thing first was to find a way on how to control my newly found magic. And since Celestia didn’t have a clue either, it seemed that I was fucked. However she did say that she was willingly enough to try and figure out why I had such powerful magic and how I could possibly control it.
It may seem like a bad choice to make, but it was my only safe bet to do until TF came back for revenge. If he had came back for revenge at all. For all I knew he could have accidently fell down a mud slide and died in a ditch after he left. Who knew by that point. But it was better to be safe than sorry. Well, at least that's what they say in Germany in the forties anyways. So I looked up at Celestia, and she had a bit of worried look on her face, as if she was worried I would not become her personal student.
Of course I felt bad and it also gave a reason to join her, although something told me right then and there that I would go on to later regret my decision. But hey, what was there to lose... my sanity? That was already half dead. But granted I wouldn’t have been able to learn my magic I suppose and make new alleys along the way because of her, so in a war, she is an awesome bitch and a sad bitch. I don’t get it either pal, so don’t ask. I just make this all up on the go.
Anyways, I then said in my response to Celestia, “Well, after much thought and consideration, I suppose I would want to be your personal student. However I only want to because I’ve got to be honest with you; this is the longest conversation I had with anypony that either wasn’t trying to kill me or was just trying to help me get out of a sticky situation.”
I then chuckled a bit at that and pretended that I gave a fuck. And god, I wanted to punch myself in the face even harder than Twilight because saying those words about my situation was god awful and I should be killed for such a worthless and lame comment.
It’s like a bad pun, but somehow the ponies enjoys bad puns, so they should go fuck themselves with an iron fist of bullshit with razor blades on top. In fact, that doesn’t sound so bad as a trolling prank. In fact that sounds like kind of a good idea to me.
Although I’m not sure how that would work out. I mean it is a dark idea to do, but then again I am like that. You can obviously tell that by the jokes that I give you all… that are very dark, but yet… funny as hell. You will read my jokes. You will laugh at them. And you will go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... yes... yes you will. I know what you're thinking. I can tell you what you're going to do before you even think about doing it. Like in a few seconds, you're going to blink. ....... See you just blinked. See, I told you I knew what you were thinking before you even did it to begin with. So that means you will laugh at my jokes you fucker...
Anyways, after I had said that sticky bullshit; Twilight looked at me funny… like a nineteen twenties person would that is from New York. It is in like a noir type style based thing where that person would make that weird noise after every sentence. You know, kind of like a Canadian, but if a Canadian wasn't that insufferable to be right next to. You know what I'm talking about.
Like for example, how every Canadian says ‘eh’ as if it was like a question at the end of every sentence they say. But instead of that it's with 'mnehhhhhhhhhhh' sound.
Actually I’m not sure, but now that I think of it, Twilight did give me a funny look; but then had a bit of a smile on her face afterwards. Huh... weird...
Well I continued to say, “I mean, I did enjoy it, since it was quite peaceful I should say for once in my life. Second, I would like to know as well what my magic is and how to use it correctly. I would like to know more about if I could, because I’ve always wondered how it works and what power it may hold. Finally, being your personal student wouldn’t be bad. I mean for one thing, I will have a roof over my head, I assume that is. I do know for a fact that I shouldn’t assume everything and take everything into consideration, and shouldn’t assume something is going to happen. Although, then again you did say that you were going to give me Twilight’s old room, so it doesn’t really matter, which makes this entirely pointless. Anyways, as I was saying, it would be nice for a change that I would actually have a place to stay instead of living in the woods.”
After I said what I had to say, Celestia no longer looked worried and was saddened that I would refuse her offer. In fact, I could see in her eyes she was happy with the decision I had made.
She then on went to say, “Well, I look forward to mentoring you in the future. However, for right now, or at least until tomorrow that is, you will stay in Ponyville in the mean time. I can ensure you that tomorrow that your room will be ready, along with you class schedule at the school. I would do it now, for I do feel eager to have you as a student, but I must go back and rest my eyes for it is Luna’s time. I do have to raise the sun in a few hours as well, so I should head back to Cantorlot to get some shut eye. I will have everything ready for you and your coming by noon tomorrow. In the mean time, you do need a place to stay for the night.”
Twilight then put her two cents into the conversation and cut Celestia off, that bitch, and she said, “Well, I would not mind if Knight stayed here for the night. I do have a spare bed he can use. I can even show him around town a bit before he leaves, if he wants to that is.”
Celestia then looked at me for my answer, along with Twilight as well as she had a bit of a smile on her face as well. I then said, “Sure that sounds fine with me. I mean, it sure beats sleeping in the cave in the Everfree Forest.”
Celestia and Twilight then had a confident smile upon their faces. Celestia then made a statement, “Well, I would agree with you Knight. I mean, I could see that you were living in a cave that was occupied with a Timber Wolf.”
Twilight cut in into the topic with, “That must be tough when you were sleeping with a Timber Wolf. May I ask how you tried to not make it aggressive and harm you?”
I then had a weird look on my face, and made a weird look in my eyes as well. It’s that look as if you had a big secret that you didn’t want anyone else to hide, but then an awkward moment comes in which someone says something relevant and it turns to be true to your situation.
Well, Twilight saw this look on my face and she asked, “Are you okay Knight? Is everything all right with you? Is there something you are not telling us?”
Well, since she had me figured out, and since I could not leave it out, I decided to come out with it. I said to her, “Well…there is something you should know about the Timber Wolf that was with me in the cave.”
Then a thumping noise came from the door to Twilight’s house. It was a knocking noise, but at the same time, it was more of a thump. We all looked towards the door when the sound was made and we all had a curious face…except for me for I was pretending to do so.
I knew exactly what was at the door, which was Wolf, which meant he tracked Celestia and Twilight down as they took me away from the Forest. Although I’m not sure what took wolf so long to finally do it.
Maybe he was a lazy ass Timber Wolf, that or he had a tough time trying to navigate through the small town. Perhaps he was a pussy and was afraid to go into the room with Alicorns. Then again, I don’t know how the Royal Guards didn’t see a Timber Wolf.
Maybe Wolf was stealthy and hid or something. That or Wolf killed all of them, in which I would say good job to him since he finally became a man or something like that goes with a male Timer Wolf. I mean, everyone knows that you become a man or woman if you kill someone and hide the body. Well, there were no dead Royal Guards, but maybe he did kill them, but they came back to like or are holograms.
What a life mystery. Well, whatever happened and how it happened, a second thump came again. However, this time it was an even louder thump, and it came with twice the force against the wooden door.
After the second thump, Celestia and Twilight started to look worried as if something was going wrong and wasn’t sure what it was at all. Then there were three loud thumps this time, and it the force that was exerted onto the door was furiously hard. It was as if the door was about to come off its hinges and fall to the ground.
In addition, it seems that Wolf is maybe possessed by a demon, because he did the last thumps in a set of three. Now if I recall from The Conjuring, whenever there is in a set of threes, it is either half evil, or mocking that trinity, or some shit like that to the church of Christ or something.
I don’t know, I never really read the bible a lot back on Earth, and my father and mother were hardcore christens. I mean, they constantly listened to christen rock and loved the shit out of the bible and prayed to god and Jesus every day. I mean, they were very religious people, except for me of course because I was trying to figure things out, like why is there many religions and which one is right.
I mean, if you think about it…never mind that, let us not get off track here. Well, as I was saying, it would be mocking the christen religion, or in other words, ‘The Father, The Son, and The Holy spirit.’
That or Wolf was really pissed off and had enough energy for three thumps. That or possessed by a demon!
Well, Celestia had a bit of an annoyed face on and went to check out what was making that noise at the door. She got up from her pillow and walked towards the door, which she then used her magic to open it up.
Also, may I add that she would fit in America, because she used magic to open a door. How lazy can you get. I know she’s a pony, which limits her uses with her hooves, but other ponies can use their hooves, so why not her?
She would be just a fat and lazy American if she were to live in America…just like everyone in America. Well, Celestia opened the door, gently I might add, and a brown blur passed through her legs, which that brown blur was also very lucky to look under Celestia…if you know what I mean of course.
Well, that brown blur, obviously, no shock here, was Wolf. After Wolf passed under Celestia’s legs, he came and went next to me and stood his position in a attack ready position and was ready to fight the Alicorns off, even though his ass would’ve been kicked. Then again…he might have killed the guards and be possessed by a demon, but still his ass would’ve been kicked. Also, I tapped into Wolf’s memory while he was sleeping one night, and I saw his view when he passed under Celestia’s legs, and my god I wish I didn’t see what my eyes saw.
Then again, that is what every mare’s pussy looks like, a normal pussy but with hair around it. I’m not sure why I was horrified in the first place now. I think I’m making that up now because I recall Wolf didn’t even see what was under Celestia. Now I remember, Wolf looked at a transvestite magazine once.
Which he was horrified by what he saw, as I did too as well. Anyways, when Celestia and Twilight saw Wolf was about to attack them, they had their horns ready and started to fire up…while the Royal Guards did absolutely fucking nothing.
The word ‘fuck’ I used could not even emphasize how somewhat stupid of them it was, but there you go.
However, before Celestia and Twilight got the chance to kill Wolf, I put my hoof on him and used my other hoof, forgot which one though and put it up, which is sort of like a sign that says, ‘Hey…hold up bitches. This is my friend here, so don’t kill him you stupid fucks. What are you, a fucking racist? Well, we New Yorkers are going to show you that you shouldn’t be a racist to a New Yorker. I mean we have the better pizza instead of that awful Chicago deep-dish piece of shit they call pizza. We got the Broadway plays; we have our fancy little accidents. We even have Jon Stewart and his Daily Show, so show some little respect.’
Yeah…you can tell I had many problems with New Yorkers in my past, and it was surly a bloody past I should say. I mean, I recall so much blood and guts; it was the goriest thing you would ever see in your entire life, I guarantee that to you for a fact. Besides, it doesn’t matter what happened to me in the past and my relationship with New Yorkers, the important thing is that the New Yorkers are a bunch of douchebags who are trying to act like New Jersey people and fat Italians.
That’s Right New York, I said it that no one else had the balls to say, so come and get me. No wait…that’s right, I’m in Equestria…and I sort of…burned down the Empire State building and 9/11 memorial as well…and killed all the animals in Central park. That and kind of did ruin your economy and had your mayor smoke crack just like that guy in Taranto I made him do.
That and I did blow up your subway system and accidently might have put John Stewart in a comma, now the Jews are after me because of that. Then again I don’t mind beating the shit out of Adam Sandler, I mean he had it coming when he stopped being funny. That and the Muslims are on my side.
No wait…I pissed them off too because I killed a dog in a Muhammad costume…and killed the real Muhammad, long story, listen this isn’t the point. The point is I pissed a lot of people back on earth and I tend to have a problem with speaking their language, like New Yorker language.
It is like you need a translation book on what they’re saying. Anyways, I put my hoof up to halted Celestia and Twilight from blowing Wolf’s head off. After I did so, Celestia and Twilight saw my position and what it represented to them.
After they understood, they calmly lowered their power from their horns, which the light and glowing shit started to slowly fade. When they did so, I then said, “It’s ok Celestia and Twilight. He’s not any kind of threat to us.”
Twilight then had widened eyes as to what I just said, while Celestia seemed to have a bit of curiosity in her eyes. Twilight then sort of yelled at me, not really though but it’s like a soft yell, or something you get the picture.
She said, “Knight, are you crazy!? That is a Timber Wolf! He is a danger to all of us and he can harm us! He comes from the Everfree Forest! We have to do something before it attacks us!”
Then Celestia put a hoof on her once shitty student on her back, and she easily gently calmed her down, to which she then said, “Now Twilight, you may be correct, but I believe Knight is right here. This Timber Wolf here is not attacking us; in fact, he seems to be responding to what Knight tells it to do. However, I never seen this in a Timber Wolf before. Would you care to enlighten us Knight as to why he is responding to you and your actions as you tell it what to do?”
I then stared at them for a few seconds, and looked at Wolf. I saw it in his eyes that he just wanted to go back to the cave and make sure I didn’t get hurt in any way.
However, I then looked at Celestia and Twilight to which I said to them, “Well…if you must know, he is my friend.”
I saw Celestia in her eyes as she was intrigued as to what I had just said, while Twilight continued to sort of have a shocked expression on her face as well.
“Well, it’s sort of hard to explain. About a year ago, when I came to the edge of Ponyville, I decided to stay and live in the Everfree Forest for a while, or at least until I could figure what my next moves were. Well…the same night as when you were promoted to an Alicorn, and yes Twilight, I have seen you before, but only because I wanted to know my boundaries and I just happened to stumble upon you becoming an Alicorn.
Well, after I saw you basked in your glory of being transformed into a princess, I found a cave not too far from the edge. I thought it was abandoned, that and I didn’t hear a single noise of any kind to be honest with you. Therefore, I assumed that the cave was empty and it was in need of to be occupied. Well, I sort of made a torch and walked into the cave, sort of trying to get used to my new temporary new home for a while until I could get back on my feet.”
Then Twilight stopped me and asked me a question of, “What do you mean get back on your feet? Did something go wrong before you came here Knight?”
I then remembered what happened as Twilight asked me what happened before. In truth, it did turn out to be bad, and I never really wanted to talk about it.
I mean, I rarely talk about what happened that night; I rarely talk about The Fall.
Anyways, I then said to her for her question, “It’s a long story for another time. As I was saying, I lit a torch on a stick I found, which I then slowly walked into the cave, while levitating the stick. Next thing you know, I saw a pair of glowing green eyes in the darkness. Then came after were a few more pairs. Soon after I figured out the cave was occupied and it turned out to be a family of Timber Wolfs. I also believe that they seemed to have been Lone Timber Wolves, as in they split off from a pack and tried to start a new.”
Celestia and Twilight looked odd at me when I made that statement. I believe none of the ponies never made any scientific research on any of the animals of the Evrefree Forest.
“Well, they then started to attack me of course, and they attacked in a group. Smart I should say, but not smart enough. You see, the animals of the Everfree Forest can be smart and dangerous at times. Any civilized pony would know that it would be suicide to step into that forest.
However, if you were born within the forest, you become the animal, and you know their weaknesses. If you were born in the Evrefree, you would become it. In other words, the animals are smart, but sadly, what they lack are a set of skills, a set of skills that only I have to use at my will.
I attacked the Timber Wolves, and to be honest it was quite easy. It was like nothing to me. However I do know for a fact that the Timber Wolves regroup after they have torn apart and to reform back into their original form. Well, that is why you start a fire and you burn them alive.
I recall when they assembled back together, it took them no more than five seconds to figure out they were on fire. They ran around, begging it to stop, but they ran and slowly burned away into ashes. I then decided to properly bury them into the Earth; for I do believe, even an enemy deserves a proper burial.
Well, after I took care of them, I went into the cave, thinking that was the last of them…for now of course, but I was mistaken. This Timber Wolf here was the only one in the cave that didn’t attack me.
When I saw him, I was ready for a fight, but he didn’t move at all. In fact, he just laid there; by the way, when I found him, he seemed to be lying down as if he was hurt. Well, I saw him, and he looked a bit depressed in my opinion. As I came closer with the torch, he backed up and was sort of whimpering and afraid of death that looked like that was going to come to him any second.
Well, I felt bad for him and I decided to take him in as a friend. Well, I started to treat him right and we became friends actually. In fact, I believe with the Timber Wolves he was living with was abusing him and he seemed to be the lowest ranking in the pack. After a few weeks, we started to bond a friendship and we started to look out for each other.
That’s possibly why he came to the door and looked ready to attack you guys. It’s possibly because he just wanted me to be safe and was worried that you two were hurting me.”
After I said my explanation, Wolf looked up to me and he licked my face as well, even though I didn’t know wood like creatures had tongues…I think. Well, after that, Twilight had a shocked expression, but out of amazement that I could tame a Timber Wolf, while any other pony couldn’t. With Celestia, she had the same expression, but a big smile though.
She said after a few seconds of pure silence, “Well then, it seems to me that I will be even more eager to have you as my personal student. Not only you have incredible magic that is even stronger then m and all of the princesses’ combined, but you seem to communicate good with animals. In matter of fact, you tamed a Timber Wolf to be your friend.”
I then said to Celestia, while looking down at Wolf, along with a sad face on, “Well, yeah, but I don’t know if I will ever see him again.”
Then Twilight asked, “Who you will not see again Knight?”
I then responded, “Wolf, that is what I named his Timber Wolf here. I mean, I know it’s not that creative, but I had to name him something it does sound cool. Anyways, I’m pretty sure Celestia’s school doesn’t allow animals on campus.”
However, Celestia then shocked me with, “Well, not really Knight. Animals are allowed on campus, but rarely does it ever happen, and you do need to get permission first. However if it to say it is a short visit like a friend that goes to the school, animals are allowed. However, it is mostly preferred pets to be on campus, not wild animals. However, in your case when you tamed Wolf here, he is allowed on school grounds. In fact, I would not want to destroy your relationship between him, nor do I want to have your assistant taken away from you.”
I then stared at Celestia and squinted at her and thought, ‘Is that a threat or something? That sounds like a threat to me somehow.
No wait…it isn’t a threat. However, is she really saying that he is my assistant now? Are we really going to have like a Twilight Sparkle thing here? Well, let’s see where this goes and I’ll be the judge of it.’
I then said to Celestia, “Well, thanks Celestia, I appreciate it.”
Celestia then said to me as she was turning around to go out the door, “There is no need to thank me Knight. It is what I do, you are a loyal subject of mine, correct? I mean, even though you have not much interaction with civilization though.”
I then said with a standard tone, “Yeah…right…loyal subject…whatever you say.”
While I was saying that, I was slowly putting down a lead pipe that I had hidden in a bag of mine the entire time. My plans were to beat her to a bloody pulp and kidnap Twilight for ransom so I could have a little money and be king of Equestria.
Let us just say I was really high that night before TF attacked me. I mean I had a lot of smoking weed that was natural, and natural weed isn’t bad, but it has a greater effect on you, and clearly I was high that night.
I would have been drunk as well but of course there was no one to offer me free beers, so weed it was that night.
Well, Celestia then opened the door and went onto the carriage to go back to Cantorlot. She even singled the guards that she was ready to go before getting onto the thing, which is what I should’ve mention before, but hey at least you’re not retards and won’t complain…right?
Oh wait…that’s right…I forgot,…you’re Americans that are being led by Obama, or whoever is the president that I’m pretty sure is doing a horrible job at the time you’re reading this. I mean, I’m pretty sure the education is still shitty I assume back in America. Well sucks for you because in Equestria, we’re fucking smarter than you, because we have some very smart ponies and shit. Well, she soon left and I was alone with Twilight, while Wolf was beside me.
However, I had a weird feeling as if Twilight was just staring at me. I even turned and looked once Celestia went away and I saw Twilight just looking at me. I then started to have a worried face on and was wondering what she was doing.
However, what I should have been asking was what was going through her head. I mean I could see her as she had opened her mouth just a tiny bit and kind of licked her lips just a slightly bit.
I could even she her gently, and so little that a normal person wouldn’t be able to notice, but I did, that she was moving her hips just a bit, like a thrust motion. I then decided to try to get her out of her trance and I waved my hoof and front of her.
However, it didn’t grab her attention, so I then decided to speak up, “Hello…Twilight…are you ok? Can I ask why you’re standing there and looking at me or are you going to continue to do that the entire night?”
Once I said that, she shook her head a few times to get her out of her own trance, and she looked a bit weird at first, but then she looked normal once more. She then said to me, “Sorry Knight, I was just…um…thinking about…would you like something to drink or eat before you get some rest Knight? I mean, you must be sort of hungry since you have been living in that forest for a long time and have not eaten any real food, am I right?”
I then stood there and thought about my answer for a moment or two; I don’t know which but it was one or two. I mean I never pay any attention to myself and time everything correctly, so why the fuck should I even guess in the first place…perhaps people are that stupid.
Anyways, I thought about my answer for a bit until I said, “Well, yeah, you’re right that I am starving because I’ve been living off of mushrooms this entire time along with some herbs and spices here and there. So yeah, I am somewhat hungry, but I can wait until tomorrow morning for breakfast though. Although I would like a glass of water if you don’t mind.”
Twilight then had a small smile upon her face and she said, “Sure thing Knight, coming right up.”
Twilight then went into the kitchen and went to fix me a glass of water. I then closed the door to the outside world and went back to my pillow and shit. Now, when I thought about my answer for what Twilight had asked not that long ago, I had to think carefully of what I say, because I do need to keep my thing a secret. I do not need my cover blown and they find out about the universes and portals.
I mean from what I have learned from my past experiences is that you need to ease them in, or they’re reminded of how they see reality might be destroyed, or they might end up asking you questions constantly. I also need to mention is that the mushroom thing is a kind of a lie.
I did eat mushroom from the forest, but I also hunted animals as well and harvested a few plants myself. And when I mean by harvesting, I mean by stealing other pony’s crops and shit.
As for the mushroom thing, I did have to make sure they were not poisonous, although that doesn’t matter since I have been living for so long and not aged in a long time I am immune to that kind of stuff.
However, that does not mean there is a negative about eating poison mushrooms. They can still leave a bad taste in your mouth that you thought you were eating Tara’s Strong’s pussy and you have a very bad breath on your mouth that not even mouth wash can help you.
Also, I wasn’t even hungry at all, granted I was still a bit thirsty for about anything, even Tara Strong’s pussy even though it’s god awful, and don’t ask me how I know how it tastes.
I don’t want to even explain that night to you guys. God I will never get that image out of my head. She was just all over the place…oh god I think I’m going to puke up.
Then again, I think I ate some weed, so I’m just going to eat my own puke because I might get high from the weed that didn’t digest yet. Wait…here it comes…
*Knight Pukes up and shallows puke.*
Man that is some good puke right there. I can just taste the weed now. I think I’m starting to get high now. I feel like I have the munchies now. Why is there a giant penguin on my bed now?
Ok aside from the things that I am seeing due to the awesome of weed, I then waited on the pillow for Twilight to come back with the glass of water. However, I had to wait thirty minutes for it because she was doing something in the kitchen.
I mean from what I could see in the back, she had one hoof on or near her crouch while the other on the glass of water. I don’t know what I saw, but whatever she was doing, she was clearly horny and has not been touched by Spike in days.
However, that’s what I thought, until I found out what it was that she was truly clopping to…you don’t want to know…trust me.
Well, later she was finished, she came over to me and magically handed my glass of water, which I then took by magic as well and put the glass to my lips. I then slowly started to drink and it went down my throat pretty easily.
While I was drinking, Twilight just staring at me…again…very weirdly I might add. Well, while she was doing this, Wolf was sleeping on a pillow that sat Celestia previously not too long ago.
I could tell he was tired, not that he was a young Timber Wolf, like how Spike is a young baby dragon. Oh no, Wolf was an adult Timber Wolf, young like in his twenties I guess, but he was still an adult though.
Well, after I drunk my water, Twilight took my glass back to the kitchen.
She then came back and she then asked me, “Well, I suppose we should be getting to bed then? Well, I do have a spare bed in my bedroom you can use. I do not know about Wolf though. I guess he could continue to sleep on that pillow. That and I am afraid of waking him up since I do not know what happens when you wake up a Timber wolf from its deep slumber. Would you know what would happen?”
I then answered her question with, “Well, it really all depends on what Timber Wolf you’re dealing with here. However, that is just a guess because I don’t really know. In other words, your guess is as good as mine.”
Twilight then looked a bit disappointed and looked at Wolf. She then gave a short and quick sigh and she said, “Well then, follow me.”
I then followed Twilight up to her bedroom, where the lights were turned off. I saw Spike was sleeping in his bed, quietly and soundly like a baby…because you know…he’s a baby dragon. What a god awful and horrible pun that I deserve to be shot because of such a terribly made pun.
Well, Twilight quickly got the spare bed out, which was out in a Conner and all, in which she used her decently powerful magic to drag it near her bed. She then placed it near her bed, but kind of far from Spike’s bed though.
She then looked at me once she was done moving the bed and said, “Well, here you go Knight. Hope that this is good enough for you.”
I then responded with, “Relax, this is all I need. I would’ve been fine if you would have given me a couch. In fact, I would’ve been fine with a couch. Moreover, I would’ve been fine with just a tree outside.”
Twilight then had an odd and curious look and asked me, “What do you mean by tree?”
I then explained, “Well, what I used to do instead of sleeping on the floor flat, I would just find a tree and sleep by it.”
Twilight then thought about it and she recalled her memories about Applejack and how she used to do it. Once she remembered, she had a bit of an embarrassing long on her face and a smile at the same time.
She then walked over to her bed, used her magic to grab the covers, and climbed onto the bed. She then said to me, “Oh, and before I forget Knight. If you want to use the restroom, it’s just down there just in case you need it. Well, good night Knight.”
Twilight then giggled a bit because she thought it was funny that she said a homophone. Well let me tell you something, that was not even close to being funny…at all. Well, since I didn’t have any uses for the bathroom…yet, went ahead and got into the bed, pulled the covers over me, and tried to go to sleep.
However, I was unable to, and eventually struggled to close my eyes and go to sleep. I just had a weird and uncomfortable feeling as if something was up. First off in my mind at the time, why was Celestia was worried about me saying no to her offer about the school and being her personal student and shit.
Secondly, why did I feel like I was going through the show, but in a weird way though, like the show is repeating itself, but instead of Twilight, it’s me.
Lastly, what a feeling that I could not shake off me for the life of me was that I had a weird feeling that I have been here before. However, it was in a weird way that I cannot explain in words what I was feeling.
It was just a weird feeling that I was turned over on my back in the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I don’t know why I was doing such a thing, but I just was, but I was doing that while trying to wonder why I was having this weird feeling.
However, I then had to shrug it off because I felt weak and I was in need of good rest. Therefore, I slept through the night, nothing odd in my dreams at all. When I woke up, it was around when Celestia’s sun had just risen up.
I woke up and noticed that Twilight was missing from her bed. However that is possibly because she had royal duties to attend to, so she obviously got up early just like Celestia and Luna to tend to her job.
I even noticed Spike strangely up from his bed as well, which I recall in the show that he never really was a morning dragon either. Why did I have to make that stupid saying anyways?
Well, never mind that, the main point was that Spike was gone and that was unusual. Well, I decided to go check downstairs, which is where they would be most likely be at since it is morning after all.
Well, I slowly got out of bed, yawned, and walked downstairs. When I did, I could smell the sweet scent of apple pancakes. In fact, I recalled not having any pancakes since I was back on Earth.
However I do recall that one thing with Celestia years ago, but I pushed that thought aside and concentrated on the present, or at least that was the past but at the time was the present. I’m confusing you aren’t I?
Well, for that, I am not sorry America, but you do need to get off of your phones and think for once and instead of doing nothing at all. Well, I walked downstairs and saw Spike was still sleeping on one of the pillows, along with Wolf as well.
That would make sense since Spike doesn’t want to wake up early and Wolf is…well a Timber Wolf. Twilight was also fixing some pancakes for the both of us, since she felt like having them and I was a guest. I mean, she always had manners and those manners were to treat a guest properly, even though I wouldn’t give a shit about being treated right.
I’ve been treated worst in the past. I even recall I was beaten to a bloody pulp once as a houseguest, but that’s another story. Although I never recall the thought of having the proper manners of treating a house guest properly in the morning, but that’s just me. That and I haven’t done anything in well mannered in years so that would explain a lot.
Well, Twilight was almost done fixing some of the apple pancakes, until she saw me, which she then lost concentration on the last pancake. She had a smile and an embarrassed look on her face at the same time.
She turned her head around to face me and said, “Oh, I did not hear you Knight coming down the stairs. Well, good morning Knight.”
I then had a neutral expression across my face, in which I said, “Yeah, good morning to you too Twilight,” as I walked towards a table where she had two plates filled with pancake that were stacked on top of each other.
Twilight then went back and turned her attention to the last pancake and she said, “I hope you do not mind that I am fixing pancakes. I thought since you were a houseguest, that and you lived in the Everfree Forest and all; I thought you needed something to eat. I would have gotten something else, but this is all I have for now. I also did not make these, but one of my friends Applejack made them for me. All I am doing is just warming them up on a frying pan if you were curious at all.”
I then said with a continued neutral expression, even though you already knew that, “Well, I suppose it’s fine. I remember I had pancakes once, but that was years ago. Although I’m not the much of a fan for pancakes, I’ll still eat it though.”
I then got close to a stack of pancakes, in which I was kind of hungry for pancakes. I mean I was more for waffles and all, but the smell of apple pancakes made my stomach growl. So I grabbed a fork and knife and started to cut my stack up, while Twilight was finishing her last pancake.
I started to hold the stack down while having the knife cut through the top to the bottom of the stack. Keep in mind the stack is only about five or seven pancakes tall. Well, I did this because I remember this trick that my human dad taught me to do…even though he was a douchebag to me in my opinion. That and he was a fat basturd as well and that he can go fuck himself. That and my mom was an old skanky bitch that had tits that belonged in a morgue. That’s right, I burned my mom, so that old bitch can suck it in hell while I’m basking in the glory and warmth of Equestria. Well anyways, aside from my old parent problems, which most of the time I forget even existed, I then went ahead and cut the pancakes up into tiny bite sized pieces.
I then proceeded to slowly pour warm and tasty syrup all over the pancakes. It gently went onto the pancakes, and it flowed easily onto the plate as well. I even over did it and made a little puddle of syrup and…oh god I think I can jack off to this all night. I am laughing so hard on the inside right now at the random joke, but on the outside, I’m sad…for no odd reason.
Well, I then chowed down on those bitches of pancakes, or in other words…just pancakes. Although I wonder how it would be like if there was a pimp kind of pancake and a hoe pancake.
I bet a normal pancake citizen of Batterville would pay a pancake hoe a hundred gallons of syrup to get his pancake dick sucked. Then the chip police bust in and Pringles would save the day.
I just ruined breakfast for you guys…didn’t I? I just ruined with a pancake having a dick, although I guess men would enjoy pancake hoes, since they would have a pussy to eat and since they wouldn’t be able to get any from their wives or girlfriends…or kidnap people they hide in their basement.
I guess a female pancake hoe would also have massive tits as well and they would jiggle around whenever they get cut up…ok maybe I should stop. I’m pretty sure right now hundreds of man are going to fantasy’s about that while eating breakfast and jacking off and Cuming onto the pancakes…then eating it whole.
I guess there is a good thing to it, since I gave teenage boys something to keep their minds on instead of their bitch girlfriends I suppose. Maybe that is a good thing…I deserve a solid gold medal for that good deed. Well, anyways, I then scuffed the entire stack down within five minutes.
There is one thing you should know about me, and that is I am a fast eater. Well, once I finished, I brought my plate to the sink, which was near Twilight. She had just finished fixing her last pancake, which strangely took thirty minutes, so I call bullshit on that.
Then again, she could possibly have been imagining about a pancake having a huge ass dick that’s bigger than yours and clopping to it. That or she was just busy fixing it, but I did get you Twilight clopper fans out there pretty pissed that you were beaten by a pancake. Well, aside from a not so funny thought, when I brought my plate to her, she noticed that I was done.
She had a shocked expression, but then turned into a smile, which she then said, “Well, you were really starving weren’t you?” I then said, “Well, if you have been living off of mushrooms for the past year, you would be hungry as I am.”
She then had a smile upon her face as she placed the last pancake on her stack. She then said, “Well, just put the plate in the sink. I will wash it later today.”
I then said, “Oh there’s no need for that, I can help clean the plate for you. I mean, I do know some housework that was taught to me in the past.”
It was true; I did know some housework that I could do. Although I kind of am lazy at it. No really, I am lazy when it comes to housework. That’s why I either do it with magic, like using a spell for it or just pay an Illegal Mexican to do it that I kidnaped from Earth. I mean, that’s why god created Mexicans, so they can do our work for us…and not to be actual people to be treated equally.
They aren’t human, they’re slaves and they enjoy doing work they are being forced to do for a penny.
I mean a penny for them is a lot of money. They think they’re a millionaire when they have one and consider themselves to be above the middle class, when they’re really only slightly below the Asians…because you know…Asians consider one dollar a lot of money to them. They can buy a whopping four gumballs.
Anyways, once Twilight heard my offer, she said, “Well then, I do appreciate your help then Knight.”
I then proceeded to go over to the sink and started to rub a sponge constantly on the plate…and that’s all that I did to the plate. I didn’t put soap on it or anything…in fact it was still dirty and had childhood cancer AIDS on it I believe.
As I said, I was lazy, besides I was never taught to do dishes. I mean I never said anything about doing the dishes in the past, but I can do my own laundry though and fold it for sure.
That’s about it that I know how to do housework. Everything else is just a simple magic spell. I’m pretty sure every fat and lazy American person who is reading this book, which is pretty much a hundred percent by now considering the fact that the Muslims and Jews have stopped reading this.
That and the Asians and Mexicans are already started a revolution, but that’s only a guess I assume.
Anyways, as I was pretending that I gave a shit about cleaning the plate, I told Twilight, “Well, I can understand the feel when you’re busy with something, especially in your field of work I assume. I mean, it’s got to be busy, right?”
She then nodded her head towards me as I was cleaning the plate with a dry sponge…in other words spreading the childhood cancer AIDS. “Well, I understand the feeling when you’re so busy with life that you can’t do everything and you wish you could. That you feel a bit helpless and…no one is there for you and you can’t seem to do it anymore. Then someone ends up fucking backstabbing you in the back even after all, they did for you.
Then you end burying them a fucking grave because you fought them and killed them in cold blood…and you leave someone in the dirt to die for fifteen mother fucking years! FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS! And it all happened because someone decided to fuck you over when a plan was starting to come together,” I finished saying.
Twilight had a very surprised reaction to what I just said, and when I finished reliving a memory that I had in my past adventuring days, I said to her, “I’m sorry Twilight….I’m just remembering something that happened to me in my younger days. It’s…a long story, a mistake that I wish had not made, but unfortunately I had no choice but to do so.”
Twilight then turned her face from a shocked expression to a weird ‘what the fuck’ face on and asked me, “Can I ask why you curse so much? I mean, I know that you do it out of anger, but could you instead use a different and more appropriate word then what you use?”
I then responded to her as I pretended to finish up cleaning the plate that was infected with childhood cancer AIDS, “Well, one I can’t stop using it. I mean it is my thing, so sorry. Second, I’m not sure why I use it, I just use it.”
Actually, I do have a reason for using it. First off, if one is to understand why I curse, or anyone for that matter, you need to understand why bad words are bad.
For one thing, the words that you know that are commonly are used that people who have big wigs and people who are strict people that can never have any fun and seem to shit on your entire life, like critics, politicians, critics, Harvard people, critics…critics. Ok, it seems that I have a problem with critics no…ever since that day back on earth…then again I did kill his entire family.
Not because of his review, but because I felt like it. Yeah, I’m sort of random at times, but I’m cool once you get to know me. Anyways, aside from that dark joke that happened years ago, those words had previous meanings to it and weren’t always considered bad. In fact, the word was used in the bible at times.
However the only reason why it’s bad is…I have no fucking clue but I do know for a fact that whatever a word that is unpleasant or disgusting, it’s considered to be a bad word.
Take the meaning of the word ‘fuck’ for a moment. What word means to have sex in the ass or butt of a person…or in other words, anal.
Although it does mean pleasure, it can also mean rape at times, and not everyone likes it of course. That and the concept of a guy putting a dick up a chicks asshole isn’t the best of all ideas at first, but once you get to know it, it’s amazing…even though I never experienced it in my life. So of course, society today thinks it of as a bad word.
The N word…actually that one is self-explainable if you do a little history research. The word ‘Ass’ does mean donkey of course, which also explains why it was used in the biblical days. It is an old word, yes, quite so, but it’s a bad word because whenever we call someone an ass, we call them a donkey.
So really it’s a word that is meant to disgrace someone, to call them a name or they are a piece of shit that should go kill themselves. That or a retard, immature, is just like a donkey I suppose.
Also, the word bad can even be considered to be a bad word, but that’s only because whatever is considered to be unpleasant can be considered to be a bad word. Now, this can also mean in the future, the current bad words we know today, such as ‘ass, shit, crap, fuck, cunt, asshole, dumbass, and the N word’, will be no longer considered to be a bad word. Instead, the words like ‘depressed, mental, aspy, and schizo’ would all be considered to be a bad word in the future due to their meanings.
However, a smart person, whatever his name is, separates bad words into five categories. The first one is abusive, or in other words, to hurt someone. I never really curse because of that.
The other four are emphatic, dysphemism, idiomatic, and cathartic are the other categories. Idiomatic is one of the reasons why I curse, because it means that I am comfortable.
It means that we are all cool; we can curse and no once give a fuck. Cathartic is another reason why I swear, that it means that I do it out of pain. Whenever we stub our toe, or have one of our bones broken, we tend to yell out curse words, mostly fuck or son of a bitch, even if we are mentally or emotionally hurt.
Dysphemism is one more reason why I curse, which means that I talk about something unpleasant, but I let you guys know or whoever reads this that I get it in a respectable way.
For example, as an arrogant professional would do, instead of the word shit, he would use the word defecate. However, if you don’t want to be a snooty person like that one guy who shits on everyone’s life and tells them that they’re not worthy of anything in life, you can just use a curse word to express how unpleasant something was that you experienced. Emphatic is the last reason why I curse, although with abusive, I do that but only on rare occasions I say before anyone starts a flame war…even though it’s a leather bounded book and not the computer…right?
Anyways, the word emphatic means…it means…son of a bitch, ok I sometimes get confused with the definition with this one, but I’m, pretty sure it’s a reason why I swear a lot. So instead of me babbling on something and getting way off track, I’m going to let Vsauce handle this one for yeah. Vsauce!?
That and to give you a more of a detailed I suppose for you critics out there why I fucking curse so much…and why bad words are bad and shouldn’t be taken seriously when I do write it in this awesome book of my life.
I would’ve explained all of this to Twilight, but I’m pretty sure I offended enough Twilight fans out there enough, even though this was years ago but had a strange feeling I was going to write this in a book one day.
Yup, I’m like Pinkie Pie in Equestria Girls where she had a weird feeling that she knew what kind of plot she was in the entire time. Well, aside from not showing how smarter I am then Twilight herself, I went ahead and pretended that I was done cleaning the dishes.
However, I believe later Twilight and Spike…along with every other pony in the town and Equestria I assume got infected by childhood cancer AIDS.
Well, I finished and sat by Twilight as she was eating her breakfast of pancakes stacks. However, we didn’t speak a single word while I was at the table. In fact, it felt awkward that we didn’t say anything to each other and as if we just had sex not too long ago. It’s as if we were trying to avoid each other’s eye contacts because one of us wasn’t that great in bed and we had horrible, god awful sex and we couldn’t get an orgasm of any kind. Not even if I took my condom off, we still couldn’t cum on each other, even if we tried.
Moreover, for some odd reason, I have a major boner right now…a boner that says to me, ‘jack off Knight…just jack the night away. Just sing the jacking it song and get it over with.’
Well mister dick, I’m here to tell you to go fuck off and die. I don’t care if you are my only sign of man hood, just go fuck off and die with the other virgins out there…just like with Jesus’ dick. Besides, my dick is a weird looking dick when it has an erection, because it looked like a cat playing a trombone…no wait…I just described a woman’s orgasm…..well shit.
Anyways, after Twilight finished her stack of the apple pancakes, she then proceeded to take the plate to the sink.
Afterwards, she then told me, “Don’t worry Knight. I can handle my own plate when I get home later today.”
Then we headed towards to the door that led to the outside and civilized world that the ponies called ‘society.’ You hear that Facebook and Twitter people, did you hear that big and fancy word for you? I hope you did, because that means you actually learned something other than your friends being raped at a party that was filled with cocaine.
Maybe you Facebook and Twitter people should join ‘society’ and get off your phones…and maybe you will do the world a favor that way instead of making America look like a bunch of dead brain idiots that you can only do is get fat and being retards. Then again why do I care, I’m in Equestria, so suck it…but seriously though get a life. I mean, even though I don’t care about you since I’m in a different universe, I still kind of care about your sanity and question it.
I’m just trying to make your world a better place one discouraging remark at a time.
Well, when Twilight and I were about to enter society…hint, hint…I asked Twilight, “May I ask why we are heading outside Twilight?”
Twilight then continued to have a smile on her face and told me, “Well I told my friends that I was going to meet them today at the spa. I may have royal duties, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hang out with my friends Knight…if that is what you were thinking is…sorry if you were not. I just assumed that is why you asked…but it seems that I may have made a mistake that I assumed wrong. You can tag along if you want and I can tell my friends about you and what happened last night.”
I then looked away from that bitch’s face and thought about it. On one hoof I didn’t feel like going to the spa, mostly because it was a spa…and I was a guy…those two things sort of doesn’t go together. On the other hoof, and keep in mind that the word hoof is intentional.
Anyways, as I was saying, on the other hoof, I could meet the rest of the main six. Then again, they can’t know, nor do they know of the show, that I was from another universe. However, I said the word fuck it before I kicked the bucket…I think.
Anyways, I said that and thought why not…or fuck it before I kicked the bucket. Either way, I basically said the word yes. I then told Twilight, “Sure, let me just get Wolf just in case I get picked up for Celestia’s school…I assume that is, even though she said it last night. Well, let me just get Wolf.”
When I turned around to get Wolf, Twilight had a worried face, but I’m sure it was out of that she was worried that the ponies of ‘society’…hint, hint…would not react well to the sight of Wolf being a Timber Wolf and all.
She was right; the ponies were…how do I dare say it? I suppose you could use the word retarded, but that’s going a bit too far because they’re not entirely retarded. They are smart retards you could say.
Yeah…smart retards…let’s go with that one to describe their intelligence. Well, I then walked over to Wolf, and he was still sleeping like a baby and possibly dreaming of something that didn’t relate to anything at all.
Well, I then gently and like a mother with a motherly tone would do, pick him up by his ass and toss him and punch him in his balls.
I then said to him in a kind voice that Fluttershy would use in this situation, “GET THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”
Wolf then slowly opened up his eyes and was a bit cranky wince I woke him up and shit, and I told him, “Come on Wolf…Wolf we’re going to the spa and shit. Apparently, Twilight wants us there because she wants to show us off to her friends that seems that if they never saw a Timber Wolf in their life. Now get up off your ass and move it Wolf…I fear that we’re going to have a bad day ahead of us…and it’s going to be a long ass one.”
Wolf then proceeded to follow me towards the door, while I had a smirk on my face while Twilight seemed to be somewhat disgusted how I treated Wolf the way that I acted in front of her and Wolf.
She then decided to ask me, “Do you always have to act that way?”
I then said along with the smirk on my face that continued to sit there, “It’s a guy thing Twilight, you wouldn’t understand.”
Twilight then made a confused look on her face while Wolf passed her. I’m willing to bet that Twilight just realized that I made a sexist joke, but couldn’t figure out if that I did or not.
It was as if she couldn’t tell what was a joke or not, like she was a retard. Well, I’m sorry to say this but…she is kind of a retard when it comes to jokes. I mean she just would read them from a book, that’s for sure, but not on her own with her own brain. She would just suck really hard at making a joke…even if it was a pun…and those are the worst jokes…kind of…but not really though.
I don’t know, I hate puns, but others seem to like them and enjoy them for what they are…even though they never do with everything else, but still.
I guess I just don’t like puns I assume. Well, it was around lunchtime when Twilight and I started to head out. Once we entered ‘Society’…hint hint…we were good for a couple of seconds…until they laid eyes upon Wolf. Once they saw Wolf, well it’s kind of predictable, they all panicked and thought the world was about to end. I don’t know why but I find that funny as hell that they do that. Well, Twilight saw this and of course she had to be a buzzkillington, so she found a create that said ‘soap’ on it and climbed atop it’s glorious wooden planks…just like Minecraft…except it was a lot shitty of wood then in the game. Well, she then raised her hoof up into the air and she closed her eyes just as a smart person would do if he or she were to receive an award for best douchebag of the year award…just like every Harvard person or guy who shits on your life.
She then said, “Everypony…may I have your attention please!? I do know what you fear…I do know why you run. You run because you fear that something is here to hurt you all. You all run from a monster from an unknown world and you fear that death is upon your souls. Well I am here to tell you that there is nothing to fear…not even fear itself. You don’t have to fear, as fear is a choice.
We can either ignore it or embrace it, but it is your choice.
Do not fear for this timber Wolf here is not here to harm you at all, but here because of this pony right here. This pony here that goes by the name of Knight lived in the Everfree Forest for a year. For a whole year, he has lived among the animals, even the ones that we fear the most. Knight here has even tamed a Timber Wolf and made him his friend, so there is nothing to fear here. All you need to do is understand the Timber Wolf who is named Wolf, and accept him among your social living structure. Now I bid you all a good day.”
Wow…Twilight is a major buzz kill, because she used those words and the way she used them.
Anyways, once she climbed down from the box, she then asked me a question, which was, “So then…how do you like the way that I talked and made my speech. I’m trying to use a different way to make speeches instead of the traditional way. I thought that since Celestia and Luna have been using the way that they have been talking in, I thought I would spice things up and do something different for once.”
I then stood there in front of Celestia and recalled my time from earth. I remember the fic that I was writing and remembered that I was trying to do something different. I was trying to use a simple way of writing a fan fic instead of the more traditional format.
Well, unfortunately not a lot of people liked change or in other words told me that I was worthless and banned me from a site for all of eternity.
Even though I knew these ponies weren’t like humans at all, I felt like Twilight had to be careful what words she said, so I told her, “Listen…Twilight…your speech was good and all. However, I do have little experience when trying to change something up, and let’s just say not all agree to change…so it’s best to stick with the traditional format of speaking instead of the way that you were. However, I’m sure within time, then you can change things, but it seems that today isn’t today to do that.”
Twilight then nodded her head and agreed to me with my point, while I thought in my head, ‘yeah, that won’t happen in a million years Twilight. You won’t be able to change anything with ponies complaining about shit that is different. Granted it never hurts to try with these ponies since they’re different then humans, but fuck it, I’m not in the mood.’
However, when Twilight turned around, and I swear that I didn’t noticed this, she had all of the ponies of the village all up in her face…just staring at her.
When Twilight saw this, she backed up a bit and was shocked that she saw this happening in front of her eyes. Then a pony from way back in the crowed said, “How did that pony named Knight lived in the Everfree Forest for a year?”
Then twilight looked worried and turned to me for an answer, while I had widened eyes for I was a bit shy and shocked at this point in time. I then hesitated a bit until I said, “Well…I lived by these words every day. I either die alone or fight to survive…revenge solves everything.”
Everypony seemed to be satisfied by my answer, except for that last line, that looked a little bit confused, but they decided to fuck off and let us live instead of…I don’t know killing us I suppose. I mean they were all together in a group.
Well, as they all walked away and continued to live there merry little lives; Twilight then asked me, “What did you mean by that revenge part Knight?”
I then said to her, “Well…it’s a long story…for another time of course. Let’s just get to the spa and meet your friends instead of standing here ok?”
Then we walked off until we reached the spa. However, the truth about the last line is true. I used it every day when I was in my adventuring days outside of the universe, because it was kind of tough and I did have plenty of enemies to fight at the time.
That and I was actually planning a revenge plan on that critic gave me a bad review score on my hard working and different type of fic by hacking into the site. Then using those lines, as I was the Lone Wolf because no one did care about me…which led to depression and almost blowing my brains out in a dirty motel with a shotgun.
Aside from remembering that depression memory, we then headed to the spa with no more distractions in our way. Once we did, the spa twins greeted us and they led us to the spa room with Twilight’s friends in it.
Although they didn’t react to Wolf, which was a bit strange, but then again, those chicks were weird. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re lesbians…I’m pretty sure of it. You can tell in their eyes that they want each other’s pussy and fuck each other in the ass…even though it’s kind of impossible, but still.
Well, once we entered, the rest of the mane six was having the time of their lives for they were relaxing in the spa. When they noticed Twilight, Applejack said, “Well hello Twilight, how is your…Twilight…there’s a Timber Wolf right behind ya!”
Then Rainbow Dash quickly got up from her chair that she was resting her back on and she had her hooves ready for fight and said, “Where’s the Timber Wolf at? Let me have it so I can teach it not to mess with Ponyville or us.”
Twilight then told Rainbow Dash and the rest of her friends…but mostly Rainbow Dash, “Relax girls…it’s alright. It’s just Wolf. He’s a Timber that has been tamed by Knight here.”
Then Pinkie Pie jumped up from the hot tub and punched on me to say, “A new pony in town! You must be new here because I never seen you around here before. Twilight told me that your name is Knight, Knight’s a good name for a Stallion I guess. My name is Pinkie Pie and I’m going to throw you the best party you will ever have in your life!”
Then Twilight pulled Pinkie off my stomach and she said, “Settle down Pinkie Pie…Knight isn’t going to stay here in Ponyville.”
Then Pinkie Pie started to have a frown form on her face, to which she then asked, “Awe…but why isn’t he staying here? Can I at least give him a cake since he won’t stay here for a while?”
Twilight then had a smile on her face and she then said, “ Well, this is Knight. He is Princess Celestia’s new personal student. We found him last night.”
Rarity then jumped into the conversation in which she then said, “A personal student you say? Why that is a great honor for a pony to have bestowed upon him. You are one lucky pony Knight; I hope you have the best of luck with you in the future, especially being a personal student of Celestia. Oh, and you get to go the big and best events that are held in Cantorlot as well. You even get to go to the Grand Galloping Gala and go to exclusive parties that only the most highest of all that are respected in Cantorlot get to go to. I can see we will be friends and will get along just fine if we ever end up meeting again in the future.”
Rarity continued to have a big smile on her face as I just stood there and wondered, ‘you know bitch, you don’t have to explain to me. I can tell that you like that fancy shit by the sound of your voice. By the way, why isn’t that bitch ain’t British.
She sounds like it, but she isn’t a Wizard. Maybe she got expelled from Hogwarts…that makes so much sense to me. Maybe she said the one who shall not be named.
Well whatever, I’m just waiting until I get picked up for Cantorlot. I know I might not enjoy the fancy shit, since I’m not all for that kind of shit, but fuck it. This is only for the best for the future if I am to face TF, for I am sure he will return with vengeance set in his heart. Why am I thinking like this?’
Anyways, Applejack then asked, “So, can I ask why did this feela here gets to be a personal student over night Twi?”
Twilight then said to her as a response back, “Well, it’s a long story. You see…”
And she gave the explanation or the story you might say of what happened last night. I’m pretty sure you know what happened, and with the mane six’s reaction if you wondered, well, they were surprised is all.
Nothing to special, although Twilight did mention how powerful my magic is, which all the ponies were shocked by that statement. Twilight even made me do a demonstration of my magical ability that a normal unicorn would struggle doing.
Granted, it wasn’t my full potential that I could have used for my magic, but I’m pretty sure no one wanted to burn alive in the place, so it was something simple…like for example, lifting the entire spa building with ease. Now everypony in town got their attention stuck on me, and a crowed formed from around the area…until the Royal Guards flew from the sky while carrying a carriage behind them.
It was a sign of that it was time for me to go, which I wondered why Celestia did not come get me in person but that’s beside that point. I then got onto the carriage, said my goodbyes to Twilight and her friends for now and left to go to Cantorlot to go to a fancy school for people who would shit on your life.
The ride did take a few hours, which was almost wasting the entire day for me, with just a little hours left to enjoy. However, around when Celestia’s sun seemed to about to set, which it was kind of awesome I might add to look at as it went beneath the ground, I was in Cantorlot.
When I had finally reached my destination, Celestia and Luna were there on the school grounds waiting to greet me. When Wolf and I got off, Celestia said to me, “I hope you had a pleasant journey on the way over here I suppose?”
I then replied with, “Yeah…sure…whatever you say you flaming bitch of the sun.”
However, it seemed that Celestia didn’t hear a single word that I said and instead blocked it out and put other words in front of what I said. At the time, I was confused about this as well, but decided to shrug it off.
Well, Celestia and Luna then walked with me to my new room at the school and to show me around a bit. Once I touched the ground, we started to walk, while Luna and Celestia had a smile on their faces, while Wolf and I had a neutral look on our faces. It was because frankly we didn’t give a fuck about the place, we just wanted to move on with life and have a good time. Although it wasn’t that bad of a tour compared to other students at the school, because they had shit to carry with them along with their bags and shit.
With me, I didn’t have much other then my satchel and my hat. That was about it unless you count Wolf as a carryon bag. I mean, he’s sort of useless, so yeah, I guess you would count him as a carryon bag I suppose.
The first thing that Celestia and Luna walked me into for the tour was the main center area of the school. It was the…I don’t know how to explain it…a part of the school where there is a square in the middle, in which a yard is in place there.
It’s sort of like that, but there was a small river running through the middle, which the river led off into Cantorlot and off to the cliffs and into the giant ass lake that stood in front of Cantorlot. When I got there, there were no students anywhere to be seen, so it was like a ghost town or an abandoned place like a forum of a forgotten website.
And it still has one guy that still uses it and pretends that someone cares about him, which is really just him but using a second account to reply to comments on his first account. Well, Celestia said to me, “This spot of the school is the main spot where the students use their free time to either study or simply talk to their friends. As you can see the small river is also a beautiful addition to the area. This area can also be sued during lunch hours, and it is accessible during when school is not in session.”
I then asked Celestia the first question that would come to mind if anypony else saw what I saw, “Um…yeah…whatever you say you two timing whore, can I ask why no pony is here at the moment? It is still school hours, correct?”
Then Celestia had a bit of an embarrassed face and said, “Excuse me Knight, I forgot to tell you why you see no one at the moment. My apologize, but to answer your question, school hours are still in effect at the moment. Although, the final hours of class for today is almost up, so any minute now students will be crowding this area to relax and study for the rest of the day. Anyways…”
I then cut Celestia off and asked her another question, “Can I also ask if this is the only area that I will be free to do whatever the fuck I want or is this the place where I will be stuck at and if I ever leave the school grounds I’ll be shot. And if I survive the shot, I’ll be shot again by some redneck I assume.”
Celestia then said, with ignoring the last bit about my comment, “Well, there is a park that is private for the school grounds not too far from here. It’s near the back entrance to the school. This is merely the west side of the school that you’re looking at right now at this very moment Knight.”
I then said to myself, “I see…”
I mean, I’m pretty sure there will be a dancing and singing gang with leather jackets that would come out in any moment. Then said group would be call west side story or whatever bullshit there is to call a gang with leather jackets on that’s not mildly racist. In which said group would start to have a fight with another group that wants to take over and shit like that.
Also, at the time, I said to myself, ‘If this is the west side of the school and I bet there is an interesting side story to it as well, I would hate to see the east side.
I can only imagine how much of a hood it can be with ponies involved with it. I bet the east side of the school is filled with black guy ponies…or zebras for that matter. Some badass zebras that can put lead in me anytime they want to.
That and Herpes I suppose, but herpes are so nineties right now. Anyhow, I suppose the east side wouldn’t be so bad to take a quick visit before I get shot for joining the wrong side in a gang war, even though I just took on step on a certain side of the area. Hey…what’s that towering peak up there? Maybe I should shut up and ask Celestia.’
I then asked, “Um…Celestia…what exactly is that tower that I see right in front of me that is near the west of the school and seems to be connected with your castle…I think?”
She then saw what I was seeing, which was a towering castle point thing. You know, the thing that you would see a princess in if she were captured by a dragon.
It was white and had that usual roof like shape to it in any typical fairy tale of some sort that is lies to children, but to them it’s real.
However when you tell them it’s fake and just a story, they beat the living shit out of you and they never forgive you. They then end up sending assassin’s after your ass and shit goes down, they call their mother a whore because they were fucked to be born, and complain that Santa Claus isn’t real.
Well, Celestia then had a smile on her face and even raised her hoof to her mouth for some odd reason but still has a charm to it the way it looked. While at the same time, Luna just continued to smile and look up to her big sister Celestia. Well, Celestia then said to me, “Well, that was Twilight’s old dorm room, which now belongs to you since you are my new personal student and all.
The tower seems to be connected to the castle, which it is, but it’s also connected to the school as well, making it the only property connecting both to the castle and school.
About halfway up or down the stairs, there is a small point where a small intersection comes in which leads you to a path that will access the castle. Of course, however, Royal Guards are stationed there, so no one can easily get into the castle itself. You will use that pathway whenever I need you or use it to go back to your room if to say an event has just finished. As for where it starts, it starts from that other area I told you about where you can study or have fun with friends in a small private park area. Anymore questions before we move on?”
I then shook my head because I was still mind boggled by what Celestia had just said to me. I know it doesn’t sound that confusing, but to me it was, besides I smoked weed, even though I never had any cancer or anything from it. Well, Celestia then made a gesture that told us that we were going to move on.
I would talk about what else she showed me in detail, but there’s too many to talk about and most of them were just about the classrooms and shit like that. For example, the north side of the west wing of the school held the Equestrian Language class.
The south side held Science classes, while the west side of the west wing held the magic classes. The east one however were the dorm rooms, and of course were separated by gender.
Then again, it would make sense since it would prevent rape, because that’s what they’re only good for…shitty sexist joke…I know, how’s your day been going so far? Well, the same thing can be said about the west side of the east wing, which was the normal square in the middle bullshit and there held the dorm rooms.
The north side of the east wing held the history classes, while the south side held the health and Sex ED classes…I see what she did there…she’s a clever little bitch she is I tell you. The east side of the east wing also held whatever other classes I didn’t say because they were too many of them, along with the top portions of the front and back of the school as well.
Speaking of the middle, the front held the entrance to the school, the main one that I should say, and with it in the front was an iron statue of that wizard pony that had a white beard.
I forgot his name but he was important. I believe his name was star swirl the horny old man that tried to rape Celestia at one point?
Nope…whatever, I don’t care. Well, it then led to the main office and a great hall I should say that looked over the best and brightest of teacher and students and shit like that and even paper work to try to attend the school.
There was even tours that were being given to those of new students coming in, but I get the fancy one with the princesses, so fuck them up in the asshole, I’m better then them in every way possible and shit. I’m kind of drunk right now sort of…but not really…you can tell can’t you?
Well, it then went from the hallway to the lunchroom, where it leads to both of the outside squares and shit like that I suppose. It also went pass the dorm room and shit like that I guess, while at the same time the main lunchroom had floating candles above us.
I can tell that this school is a bit jealous at Hogwarts, sneaky little bastards. Well, if you were to go around the lunchroom, and when I mean by that, I mean by going up stairs to the top and not to the other classes.
In the middle held a ballroom that was under a dome…makes sense right. However, that was about it, along with being some extra dome rooms but that was kind of like off campus and it is forgotten but it is still there for those who would like to go there, but sadly no one chooses to.
It’s mostly because I’ve heard some ghost stories and along with other creepy tales about those dorm rooms. Some of them are actually fucking scary and will make you not sleep at night, I’ll tell you, while others you can tell are fake and is nothing but a pedophile in the forgotten rooms.
So yeah, that was about it…other than having my room. Well, after Celestia and Luna gave me a tour of the school grounds, they then showed me the way to my room, which was like they said, on that private park like area.
Well, I was on that area and it was decently big, and it felt somewhat nice. There was even a little pond to go and sit by if anyone wanted to kill somepony there.
Well, I went up the spiral staircase and in which my legs were somewhat tired as fuck. However, it wasn’t that bad, for it only took me a minute or two to reach the top.
When I did, I felt a bit of relief in my legs that it was done being used for a bit. When I reached the top, I opened up the door and saw a big ass room…all just for me. I saw the bed that was next to the big ass windows that looked over the school grounds with such a magnificent look to them.
I even saw the big hourglass look alike thing in the center of the room. No sand was falling down from the top, since, but it was on an axis that if it would to be turned upside down, the sand can fall and the time can begin. I even saw a little reflection inside of the hourglass of Nightmare Moon.
Funny, I recall that in the first episode when you could see a reflection of Nightmare Moon in the hour glass. I thought that was just an Easter Egg, but I believe it was in the show.
However, at the time, I couldn’t figure out why the reflection was there. I had thought that it meant something, that it was a mystery to be solved…just like everything that I do. I mean that ball of light was still a mystery to me for what it was at the time. I then turned my head to the left and saw nothing but rows upon books.
There was even a second floor to the room, like what you would see in a barn. You know, the one where there is a ladder to and shit like that, and on the second level there would be hay placed there. That kind of stuff, but it was more of like an area to read and research. To my right stood a desk with a little lamp, along with one of those boards that you could put a pin in place to hold a piece of paper. That and that was about it to the right. The right side of the room felt lonely then the left side of the room. I actually felt sad for the right sad of the room.
Granted I could put shit there and do shit with it, maybe even put a chair there…The poor right of the room.
I mean, I do generously feel bad for it; it’s just sitting there all lonely and shit. Also, the interior color of the room was just like in the show, well the first episode that is, so if you saw it then you got a good sense of what it was like, just a bit different I suppose. I mean the interior colors were like a purple-ish color, but at the time, same time a bluish color as well.
So, I don’t know, think whatever you want, it’s there to stay. After I saw and went exploring what the place had to offer, I then turned my head towards to Celestia and Luna while Wolf went to his own personally made bed.
Oh, Right, and I forgot to mention that before I came here, Celestia had ordered a pony to make a personal bed for Wolf. I suppose that is why that she had me come here later in the day.
Then again, wolf would’ve been fine without a bed, but she just wanted to be a nice bitch about it. What a bitch, she doesn’t’ act nice towards Wolf, that’s my job. Then again I kind of say shit about him, but he’s my best friend, so yeah.
Any who, I then turned my head towards Celestia and Luna as I said before, and I saw them that they had smiles upon their faces with what I’m willing to bet with glee in their hearts.
Although I hope, it isn’t the show Glee or else I’m going to choke myself to death with a rope that was made out of a rhino’s asshole while sticking my dick in an electrical socket made by retarded apes.
God I can’t tell you how much I hate that show. I blame that show for the world’s problem, where’s Hitler when you need him? No wait…that’s right…he’s dead in hell. Maybe I can resurrect him and…wait…I already did that a long ass time ago. Well, aside from the Jews being afraid of Zombie Hitler on the loose with a Jet pack, because you know…he always loved jet packs.
Anyways, Celestia then said to me with the happiness on her face as the setting sun of her reflected off of it of its orange glow, “Well then, how do you like the place Knight? Does it suit your needs or is there something that you see unfit with the room itself?”
I then stood there, slowly formed a smile upon my face, and then responded with, “No Celestia, this is…an amazing place I’ll admit. It suits my needs very well I should say. I just never had such a grand place like this before in my life. Thank You Celestia…that means a lot to me.”
Celestia then had a smile upon her face but even bigger then before and closed her eyes, as she was glad that she made me happy.
I then went up to her and hugged her, as she put her hoof around my back as well as she said, “I am very glad that you like it Knight.”
However, of course…that…was a lie that I told. In my all-honest opinion, the place was decent…and I’ll admit, never seen anything like it before. Granted I have been outside of the universe before, and back in my old adventuring days, I learned some awesome and neat little tricks.
I could create worlds just from my mind and even fill it with people from my mind as well. It could be whatever I wanted as well. It could be an old desert world in America, on an old route sixty-six highway underneath the stars away from light pollution.
Perhaps a fancy club that you would see during the nineteen forties and would hear big band type of music in it as well. The one where you would see gangsters and governors exchanging phone numbers to one another for future business.
Or a grand palace that you would always have wanted as a child. You could even be in space if you wanted to do so without a space helmet.
However of course with these abilities came great consequences, as do many other things as well. Whatever you imagination can cook up, it was yours, and I have created some grand places in my past before.
So the room that I was given was nothing new to me. However there is one thing that doesn’t suit my needs…what is the one thing that I clearly never gave a fuck about in my life, nor do I act like that way?
Go on…guess…because it really doesn’t connect when you start to see the comparison between the two. It would be the fucking books of that room that fills the walls, that’s what it was ladies and gentleman!
If you have been reading this far into my story of my life, you can tell that you would have been expecting more detailed and appropriate word choice than these types of words.
You might even say it’s lacking in some areas, but really, I’m not that type of guy who does that shit. I don’t just go around and use big and fancy language, I’m that type of guy who just wants to have a good time and enjoy life as much as he can.
I don’t do what normal adults do, which would be pretty much everything that I do. I just don’t do it, nor do I act like I am better then everyone. No I do not good people of Earth, no I do not, so why in the world would I care about books? Seriously, I don’t care, Celestia should just take them away for the love of god. I don’t care about them.
Sure some good stories can be founded if one were to take the time and look between the books and even use them for research and shit like that. However that’s not the type of guy that I am either.
I either cheat or memorize the shit you know. As for projects, I just make something up and lie about it. However, when I was looking around, curious as to what there was to be done with my room, in the conner of my eye I saw how Celestia and Luna looked so happy.
I saw them as if they had done a good deed, and to be honest even though I’m not that type of guy who does shit you would expect me to do…I do have a soft spot sometimes. And I would also have felt bad and had guilt on me forever if I didn’t say the right words, so I made up a lie that I liked the place and was glad that I was there.
I even added a little on top for Celestia to be glad that I was there, made her feel good inside by going up, and hug her as if I were a long lost relative of hers.
Anyways, when we were done hugging each other, she pushed back a little and she said to me, “Well, that is about to show you Knight. You will start you education first thing in the morning, so the rest of the day is yours. You can come down and have dinner with me and Luna if you want to in the Castle tonight.”
I then continued to have a small smile on my face and said to them, “No, I’m fine with tonight. Maybe another time we could do that, but tonight I feel like just getting some rest. Besides, Twilight did lend me some snacks I can have later on if I wanted to. She let me take some sandwiches with me and I put it in my bag.”
Celestia then continued to smile and she then said to me, “Well Knight, I hope you enjoy your stay at the castle. I look forward to meeting you in the morning.”
Both of the princesses then left and closed the door behind them. As they did, I then went through my mind and said to myself, ‘Yeah…Twilight gave me those snacks. Too bad that isn’t true. I just stole them from her while she wasn’t looking. Then again, I’m pretty sure Spike is going to be upset that it’s gone, but he doesn’t know who took them.
Besides, he’s a baby dragon, he shouldn’t be obsessed as shit. Besides, I quickly made a change in Twilight’s mind that if Celestia were to ask about this to her, she would say that she remembered lending me some snacks. Wait…why am I telling this to myself if I already know what I did and why I did it? Then again, I feel like god is watching me right now and wants to know the truth of it. God, if you’re reading my thoughts right now, fuck you then because you are a pervert for reading others minds. That’s right…I told you what’s for…I’m lonely aren’t I?’
I then decided to waste the day that I had left. I didn’t do much as Wolf was sleeping in his bed. I didn’t even decide to look through the books that I was offered with the room.
I just went towards the window and watched as the kids hanged out on the grass. I saw some kids playing Frisbee while others just watching some kid who he thinks he’s deep and shit and playing a guitar. I’m willing to bet that he was playing a song that was about water.
I just have a weird feeling inside me that it was all about H2O and shit like that. Like he’s good at getting the chicks, shit because he’s sensitive and deep, and shit.
Well fuck those douchebags, they can go to hell for all I care. Other than that, there was a few groups just hanging out and talking amongst themselves in a group. I would have gone down and talked to a few of them, told them that I was new there and possibly make some friends, but I was a bit shy at the time.
Then again if they were to bully me because I was new at the school, I would’ve been able to kick their asses because really I’m good at that. Then again, I don’t know how well that would go well with Celestia and Luna, but then again their women, what can they do to hurt me?
I mean, all they’re good at is having boobs so you have something to look at while talking to them. Although they’re ponies so they don’t have that…I suppose their pussy can do, because I’m not that humanoid type of Brony where the breasts are actually there and shit.
Besides, those types of Bronies are just furies that way or however you say their god-forsaken name. Anyways, I was just sitting their letting the day go away. Eventually all the students went to their dorms before their curfew time was up. Once everypony went in, it was about for the time for the moon to come up.
Once that happened, I then slowly walked away from the window and just stood in the middle of the room.
After that, I then started to go cross eyed on myself until I said to myself, “Well this is fucking great! Not only I have to go to school again…but I have to go to fucking school with fucking hippies!!! Mother fucker I thought this was only going to be a short time, but now I can tell that I am going to be stuck here for years to come!
The only fucking reason why I even fucking came here in the first place was to see if I couldn’t have my powers be trained and focused and maybe even learn new abilities…but nope! Apparently, I have to go to school dam it! I’m starting to feel like this is the universes fault right now! I’m so angry right now I can just rip a kitten’s head off and piss in his dead corpse while eating it’s beating black heart while sucking a penguin’s asshole out!”
While I was saying all of that, I was walking around the room, giving gestures to absolute no one but myself that expressed how pissed I was for not realizing this could happen.
Honestly, I thought this would have at least lasted for a year, but it lasted for a few years before I was done with the school. I just didn’t feel like going through school again. I mean I recall my high school days back on earth and I had no fun whatsoever.
I never had a girlfriend, you always saw those stupid ass bitches that complain about life but yet it’s their own faults for doing so. You always hear about them always going on facebook, they had their new fancy phones and shit like that.
I mean, High School was not my place other than just to get an education. As I said, I only had one friend, so I was basically the odd one out of the bunch. I mean when I left Earth I was so glad I left school.
For me it was a nightmare because I never talked to anyone at all. At lunch I would eat by myself, in physical education I would just stand there like a bump on a log because I knew noone wanted to team up with me. So fuck high school and fuck school itself. However, after I thought about it, I decided to look pass it and look at it as a new world of school. I mean this isn’t human school, so it could be different and since what I have been through, I’m surly I can survive it.
I mean, I did of course that’s how I am to get this out to you and shit, but it was ok I suppose. Nevertheless, the hippie ponies thing is another story…which surprisingly I will talk about now instead of later. Well, they’re fucking hippies what the fuck do you expect. They think that they are deep, it’s all about love and peace and flowers and shit like that.
The only thing they get right is the weed smoking. I mean the weed smoking is the thing to go nowadays. I mean, it’s so good, and it’s not illegal in Equestria. I just love me some good ol’ weed. Of course perhaps I am over reacting that they’re not hippies, but just normal college students that they think they’re deep.
Well they’re hippies that way, because they’re deep. Also, I should mention that there was a small part of the school that Celestia didn’t mention but it exists. It’s only because it didn’t relate to me so that’s why she never said it.
The part she left out is that there is a small building off campus that teaches small colts and fillies about magic, sort of like an elementary and middle school for kids, while this campus is like college or high school.
Well, it’s more like college since there’s dorm rooms and shit, along with a curfew as well. Why am I telling you this part now, because that means the kids are hippy kids. I’m pretty sure, even though I never saw it, but I’m willing to bet that they’re hippies as well. I’m pretty sure of it…don’t judge me.
Well, anyways aside from why I was ranting about school, after I yelled enough, I got so angry my horn started to glow an aurora around it, in which I accidently casted a spell that I had no idea what it was. All it was just a small ball of light that bounced all over the room.
When I saw this, I was shocked and just followed the ball wherever it bounced. It went off the walls and the books, as well as the floor and everything else. It was basically like flubber…except without the annoying Robin Williams and fake CGI 90’s flubber to annoy everyone.
Well, after it bouncing for a few seconds, it then somehow was able to hit Wolf, and keep in mind he was still sleeping. When it hit him, it hit him really hard and the force was strong enough to push him out of the bed. It even woke him up from his little shitty Timber Wolf dream about Timber Wolf shit. When Wolf was hit, he flew back a few feet, but not hitting the wall though. After he flew back, he was on the ground for a few seconds, until he slowly got up.
He then said…and yes, I said the word said, “Awe….why the fuck you have to do that Knight!? You could have at least woke me up before you started to cast magic and shit! I think you fucking broke my back and shit! Mother fucker that hurts like a mother fucker! I was having a nice little dream about raping a pony when all of a sudden you wake me up with a spell of yours! Well at least it didn’t kill me, but I don’t give a fuck. I just want to go back to my dreams of humping an elephant.”
Wolf then slowly walked into his bed while I had shocked eyes that he talked. And the way he talked was that he sounded like Brain Griffin from Family Guy. He really did sound like the dog and all and he really did.
However, instead of being a douchebag, he sounded like an asshole. So you know…that’s some good news right there. After Wolf had walked back to his bed, he went into a curled up position, which is how he usually sleeps, and closed his eyes for a few seconds.
Then after those few seconds were up, he then said to me, “I’m talking aren’t I? You can hear every word that I say and I can hear the words that I say instead of nodding my head up and down like a fucking animal?”
I then said while nodding my head slowly up and down very calmly, “Yup, that sounds like what’s happening now Wolf. That and apparently you mastered the English language in that spell that I somehow casted.”
Wolf then was silent for a few seconds until he said, “This is the most amazing advancement in unicorn magic and we’re calmly not doing anything or acting anything special like a normal pony would.”
I then said as a response to Wolf, “Well we have done things that a normal pony hasn’t even done before so that’s a reason we can go by. That and we kind of don’t give a fuck what really happens. I mean if Equestria were to enter a nuclear war tomorrow, we wouldn’t act any different because we don’t give a fuck…and we just want to have a good time.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Agreed.”
We were then even more silent for a few seconds until Wolf said while having his eyes still closed, “Maybe we should show the princesses of Equestria that I can talk and you made a spell to make it happen. Especially since I am somehow having all knowledge of Equestrian history right in my brain even though I was raised in a forest with a bunch of incest pricks.”
I then stood there, thinking about the incest until I asked, “Sooooooooo…you father did your sister and…”
Then Wolf cut my off and said, “It was a huge orgy and I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe we should go now.”
I then said to Wolf, “Yeah let’s go.”
Then I started to head for the door while Wolf got straight out of his bed quickly and tried to catch up to me…which he did in a way. We then opened the door, went through the spiral staircase, and went through the school grounds.
Until we realized that we could use that little path that Celestia and Luna said we could use, so we headed up to the middle and used the path way, which the guards then permitted us to past through. They even gave directions to where Celestia and Luna were at.
I suppose that Celestia and Luna had told the guards to give me directions to the dining area just in case I changed my mind.
Well, let us just say I have the worse table manners so it would not have happened even if I had changed my mind.
I mean I do have table manners now although that’s a different story, but back then it wasn’t good. Anyways, we were let into the castle like I said and was given directions to get to the dining area of the castle, and we had to take left turns, right down, go down some steps, go through a dungeon.
Then we had to get a key, fight a dragon, help a wizard out and…sorry, let me explain real quick. Apparently all of that stuff that I said is what the castle has but mysteriously no pony knows of its existence.
That and while we were taking the simple directions to get to the dining room, me and Wolf got off track and we went on a whole adventure that involved saving a princess from a dragon, found a treasure chest filled with gold. We fought some goblins and fought the goblin king as well.
We even saw some stop motion animated skeletons and fought a hydra. We even had to fight a freaking Cyclops…and yes…I said freaking for once. Are you happy now mom!?
No wait…you’re burning in hell right now….well that’s what you deserve you bitch tits. Anyways, we even somehow got out of the castle, went into some dark and deep woods, and fought some monsters there as well. That and we also did every Dungeon, dragon game ever does…, and I do mean everything.
Well, after those long and dreaded hours of trying to level up our experience points, but strangely enough we were only gone for a few minutes….go figure I guess….and we finally reached the dining area.
The guards also let us pass without a problem and when we entered the dining room, it was pretty nice I should say for the first time looking at it. There was candles, the rooms decorations seemed fitting for the type of style it was in and the table cloth was white as snow and had plates of silver and gold.
Actually, I have no idea what the plates were made out of, it could’ve been made out of plastic by some Asian kid ponies in another country that only did it for two bits. I mean Celestia and Luna do have the power to do such a thing so maybe that’s what the plates are made out of instead of silver and gold.
Maybe it was diamonds or bronze, no one knows, although I could’ve asked them but I didn’t feel like it.
Anyways, I saw on the table that it was filled with food. It was certainly a feast fit for a king…or a princess…or a queen…or a prince…or a douchebag…or even bitches. Maybe it even was fitting for pancake hos and pancake pimps, you know what…know that I think of it, maybe a pancake’s dick would be a nice big sausage.
You know a Nazi style sausage. Although what would pancake tits would be made out of? Maybe huge slaps of whipped cream that you would see at an IHop or a Denny’s.
That actually makes more sense now that I mention it. Anyways, what filled the table was…anything that a pony would eat…in other words shit that wasn’t meat. I mean these ponies do not eat meat…well I take that back.
Spike eats meat, but only because he’s a dragon, while Pinkie Pie also eats meat but she’s special…she breaks the laws of physics. Not only to mention that she’s pink and maybe even the meaning of life.
Well, other than that I can recall from ponies eat, there is an exception for Pegasus and Alicorns that they do eat fish…except it’s fish from the fucking sky. I wonder how high you would have to see until you see flying fish.
Well it’s not really flying fish but flying fish as in that are in lakes in the clouds. Well apparently Pegasi eat them, along with Alicorn, but Celestia and Luna weren’t eating them, but only because they were too good for lower class food.
Anyways, it was filled with as I said anything that isn’t meat, although for an idea would be like hay, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, sugary treats of delight, gravy, shit like that. There was even some dandelion sandwiches and some soup I suppose.
Although that sandwich thing is that, I made that one up, there wasn’t any of that, but ponies do eat though. But there was no hay, as I said, they want high class type of food but the other shit I wasn’t lying about.
Although I do wonder why the ponies eat a lot of sugar, you would think they would get debates and fat as shit by now, but yet they’re perfectly fine and healthy…as a horse. I’m sorry, but that pun had to be made.
It gave me a threat that if I didn’t make a pun, I would get shot by the pun king. Please send help if you can…no wait…you’re in another universe…and I offended you guys…well fuck you guys. Although seriously though, you would think they would die, but sadly nope. I actually did try to study this and the pony anatomy later in the future, and the best I can come up with in theory, and keep in mind in theory is that these ponies rather need sugar to survive…as in sugary treats, cupcakes, and shit like that. If they don’t get enough they can either get diabetes, fall into a comma, or die even, but only in rare cases.
I’m not entirely sure if it’s correct or not. I tried looking up in medical books about the pony body but yet there’s nothing in it stating that kind of stuff, but yet I found some interesting things that relate to the ponies needing sugar.
So really I can’t tell, but I can say for one thing that they don’t have a level to exceed their sugar, as in they can eat tons of sugar without getting fat or getting diabetes.
So you know…good for them, but that’s basically what was on the table. Oh yeah, we were talking about that. Well, we entered the room and as we were taking in the sights of the room itself because it’s like a tourist attraction or something, we were walking towards Celestia and Luna who were about to have their deserts, because apparently they had finished eating and were going to pick up everything else.
You know, so they don’t waste food and look like a bunch of assholes you know. It’s very good for their image and so no pony tries to start a revolution of some sort.
Well, as we came close to them, they both start to notice us walking towards them, in which Celestia then had a smile on her face and she told me, “Knight, I suppose you changed your mind? Well, you are not too late; there is still plenty of food left. It is a little cold, but still has some warmness to it. You can just pull up a chair and help yourselves; I was just about to have my slice of cake. I rarely get to have it sense I am trying to lose weight so I can only have it once a month.”
Weird, I guess Celestia doesn’t know what the pony body is capable of in this universe, but I don’t blame her. Her job is to be a ruler, a leader to a country and to make fair laws and make sure no one is unhappy, not to be a doctor and to be smart and shit with the pony anatomy.
Well, I then told her, “Yeah that’s not why I’m here Celestia. Granted I am a bit starving so I might take some of those cupcakes to go, along with some fine wine if you don’t mind.”
Celestia then looked at me a bit weird but then said to me, “Well I can see what I can do for you Knight. Now why are you here to see me?”
I then explained to her, “Well, not too long ago, like less than thirty minutes or so, I kind of casted a spell onto Wolf.”
Celestia then asked me, “Well, do you know what spell you casted it on him? Did the spell harm your friend Wolf in any way?”
Then Wolf spoke up and said, “I can fuck talk bitch, there, I said it before any long and dragged out and boring conversation could happen.”
I have to admit, Wolf had a point. We were about to enter a long ass conversation that was going to be boring as shit. Then again, I felt like what Wolf said was a threat to me, but I decided to lower my weapons down and just keep an eye on him.
Wolf always looked suspicious to me. Maybe…..he’s a secret spy of the soviets! No wait, he doesn’t have a funny American Stereotype accident whenever he talks, and he’s not banging a hot Russian blonde chick as well so that makes more sense to me.
Although, I still need to keep an eye on him. Well anyways, once Celestia heard Wolf’s words that came out of his loud ass mouth, Celestia and Luna were…let’s say shocked beyond belief.
As if, learning that a Timber Wolf can talk changed everything for them. As if it changed their views upon the universe and that life itself is a meaningless purpose. As if the world we know doesn’t exist because one Timber Wolf talked that wasn’t suppose to talk.
As if they believe now that the world is coming to an end and will cease to exist! That our life has been nothing but a mere instance in time and space throughout the universe was a waste of time!
That we should abandon all hope and dreams and try to find safety as this universe comes to an end, as if there was an answer that we’ve been asking ourselves everyday like what’s the meaning of life and our answer has been answered and that was because Wolf opened his mouth and talked!
That his words were the answer to everything and all the questions in the universe, and now that we have nothing left to question we are to suffer the mere boredom we endure at this very moment, and we will blow our brains out in front of our little children eyes and make them watch while doing so.
Or………………..maybe I’m looking too deep into this subject. Maybe they were just stunned that Wolf could talk and that was it and the holocaust and abortions never existed.
Well, when Wolf talked, Celestia and Luna had their jaws drop to the floor, as if it was their first time seeing a talking animal and shit like that. Well, Celestia then tried her best to say something but she was surprised that she couldn’t properly form a word and hesitated a bit.
Well, eventually she said to me, “Knight, did your friend Wolf…just talked in front of us?”
I then stared at the two princesses with a neutral expression and said, “Yeah, that’s pretty much how things are right now. That’s pretty much what it looks like what just happened.”
Celestia then slowly formed a smile across her face and she said to me, “Why…Knight…this is the most amazing thing we ever have heard. In the history of magic, or at least I assume it was magic, that we have ever saw a spell that has an effect that made an animal species talk.”
Then Luna joined in and she said, “Yes, I have never seen anything like it before my very eyes. I have seen it however in most of our loyal subject’s dreams, but this is incredible and revolutionary! This could change magic and how we look upon it!”
Celestia then finished off the excitement with her question, “Knight, what spell did you use specifically to make Wolf talk?”
I then hesitated once more and told her, “Well…that’s the thing…I don’t exactly know what spell I used.”
I then saw Luna’s and Celestia’s smiles slowly melt away and turn into frowns, “I mean, I’m not sure at all. All I did was say a few things and I somehow made the spell happen. That and when it did it bounced around the room a bit until it hit wolf, so I have no clue whatsoever how I made the spell work.”
Celestia then sat there in her spot and put a hoof to her chin as she thought about what I said. She eventually said, “Well……from what you have said to us, it sounds like that you have created a new spell, which is obviously what it is at the moment. Unless of course there was a spell that could make this happen and it was unknown to us, however, can you recall the words that you said right before the spell was casted?”
I then saw Luna grab out a piece of paper and a quill so she could be ready to write down the spell and possibly keep it within the archives.
The both of them then waited for my answer; however, there was nothing but silence. I was sure they didn’t want to hear what I said about the students being hippies along with the school being a bunch of douchebags and all.
However I had to say something so I said, “Well…I kind of forgot….but I do remember I said something hippies.” I then stared at them and waited for their reply. However, they looked weird at me until Luna asked, “May we ask what are these hippies you speak of dear Knight?”
I then was about to say something until Wolf cut in and said, “An annoying animal that we found in the Everfree forest that is really annoying to be around and have drumming circles now and then. Now let us never speak of these abominations ever again. In fact, let us never bring up this conversation ever again. Now that we have pretended that we just came, we are going to take this food and wine back to our room and no pony will say a single word.”
As we were all had our eyes on wolf, Wolf then proceeded to take a plate filled with cupcakes, along with putting some bread butter onto the plate as well onto it.
And as he was walking away from me, he then turned his head slightly to me and said as best as he could with his mouth full with the plate, “Knight, grab the wine so we can get drunk tonight. And bring some candles as well, I feel like burning things tonight.”
I understood what Wolf said to me, but since Wolf’s words were rather muffled up, the princesses were confused. Soon, they asked me, “Knight, what did your friend Wolf say to you just now?”
I then said, “Uh…he said that…that he wants me to…”
I then had a blank mind on what to say, so I just ended up quickly taking the wine and candle with my magic and quickly ran for the door. As I was running for the door as no guard tried to stop us, I said to Wolf, “Quick Wolf…Run! Take what you can carry!”
Then we ran like hell out of the castle and went back to our room, as Luna and Celestia sat there pondering in their heads as to what the fuck just happened. Well, we ended back in our room and we had a bit of a feast.
We had some fine wine while we had some bread and nice slippery butter to go along with it. The cupcakes was also quite nice and it filled our stomachs up quite a bit. So much that Wolf was out of it and fell asleep in his bed after we had eaten everything on the plate.
Well, except for Wolf wasting half of the wine because as he said he wanted to get drunk and set things on fire…which we did. Although we got drunk while setting a piece of paper on fire and throwing it to one of the classrooms, which kind of caught on fire, but strangely enough didn’t make the school catch on fire though. It only means that the school is a witch, which means we should burn just like those good ol’ which trials from earth.
I mean, I’ve experienced them before because I kind of went back in time to see it and I enjoyed burning those bitches. It felt so great fun and I wanted to do it again.
Now that I have excuses to burn something, I want to do it even more. Now, aside from that thing we will never speak of again, once Wolf fell asleep, I picked up the plate and wine bottle and put it near the door to the castle on that little intersection, because I didn’t want the plate to be ruined and the princesses to be mad at me.
Besides, there’s no EBay around to sell it on so it’s completely useless to me. After I did that, instead of heading back to my room, I went down into the square like area on the west side of the school.
I walked through the area to get to the middle and I simply went to the little river the flowed through the center. I even went to the little bridge and stopped right in the middle.
I then proceeded to look at the sky and I saw that the stars were out that night and the moon was full and bright as well. I then stared up at the sky and started to think. Of all of the adventures I had in my past, through the space universe and the space dragon, through the dark universe with it’s tar like substance.
Through the depths of the Wolf universe, and of the skies of the dragon universe, as well as the mythical universe as well.
Even when I went through hell and back in stopping TF from erasing me from history and gathering old friends from my memory’s past and fought and evil ruler of the anime universe, or at least the names that I like to call these universes that is. I do have names for these that are more appropriate or scientific, but it’s not fun.
Anyways, I have been through so much, even fighting the United States government and destroying Project Portal, this is where it ends for me, as what I thought at the time.
I mean, I was just supposed to retire in this universe, quit my job and enjoy life as much as I can as I always wanted to do, granted I have been doing so with the universes and all, but a good time where I can get drunk and not worry about the consequences of tomorrow.
Where I can be free and do what I please. However, as I stood there, looking up at the sky and felt like someone was watching over me, I had a feeling that my adventure wasn’t just the beginning, it wasn’t coming to an end, but that of a story that has not reached a climax yet.
But that of a story of a life that has still a long ways to go before it ever ends peacefully. As if there was still more to my life left that, I had to experience, and to be honest with you, that feeling disappointed me, but yet something told me that I was going to be happy because of it, as long as I made the right choice at the right time that is.
However, I stood there, and wondered about those people who hated my stuff I did for the Brony fandom and thought I wasn’t even trying and was nothing.
That I couldn’t amount to anything in life, I then thought, ‘They should look at me now. I’m living the dream mother fuckers. I’m living it, I’m in Equestria and have met Celestia…twice that is although I don’t want to remember those painful memories that I have.
But they don’t know what I’m doing, that they don’t know what I have been doing with my life. One guy online even thought I was trying to improve my stuff and perhaps is thinking that I am just busy with a job perhaps, but they don’t know what I have done, and they never will.
I hope they burn and die. I hope they all rot in the ground one day and die…and I do mean all of the fandom…except for the creator of course, for she has nothing to do with this. Why am I thinking inside my head again? What time is it anyway…I think I need to go to bed for tomorrow morning and shit. Well, judging by the position of the moon, it looks like my curfew is almost up…fuck it….I don’t want to piss off Celestia. I think I already pissed her off with the food thing tonight.’
I then started to head back to my dorm room so I could get some rest. Although, before I headed back, I took three steps towards my dorm room before I stopped.
I couldn’t shake off the feeling that as I felt that someone was watching me, above from the heavens. However instead of having that weird and creepy feeling that a pervert or priest is watching me, and possibly thinking about molesting me in a dirty white van with Michael Jackson in it, I felt that I was safe.
That I was secured and felt like I was also loved. It is that feeling that only once or twice anyone or anypony would feel in life. A feeling of comfort within their heart, as their heart soars and feels like nothing can stop it.
Sort of like a smile that you would see only three times in your life, a smile that you feel comfort and warm. That a smile of a smile that says that everything will be fine and that there is nothing to worry about in life.
To be quite honest with you I felt good about that feeling, for I have not felt that feeling in so long, a feeling that I wished I had felt long ago. It felt like a feeling that I should have gotten as a child during my younger years.
A feeling of comfort as to not worry about the future and everything will be all right and I can just go to sleep without any fears in my mind. A feeling that tells me whenever I had nightmares as a child, someone would be there to tell me it’s ok and to just dream a better dream and they’ll be there when I wake up.
A feeling of hope in my heart that the feeling will forever continue to go on until time stops in its tracks and fades away forever. I felt like I wished I had this feeling as a child, something that my parents could not even give me. Either it was that they never thought about it, they were too busy within their daily lives to do so, or they simply never had the heart due to their human nature.
However, I feel like I am lost, that my soul is forever lost without that feeling inside me, that feeling of being safe and happy for once, where I can truly be happy. I mean, through all of my adventures, in the past, I never felt this feeling before.
Sure, I might have destroyed an enemy of mine from the space universe, or killed an enemy’s son of mine or simply make a prophecy come true that was meant to be in some time. I had never felt any happiness or true happiness that is when I went through those universes…although there is an exception with the other MLP universe I went to, but I try my best to keep it in my past as much as I can.
However, whatever it was, I did hope that feeling would come again to me, especially when I needed it most, where it would give me something that I wouldn’t give up hope. A sign where I wouldn’t give up hope at all.
So I then turned my head towards my room and continued until I hit the staircase. In which I then climbed it to the top and opened the door. I then went towards my bed, while Wolf was sleeping like a baby, even though he’s an adult.
Well, I then slowly climbed into my bed, along with my hat, yes I sleep with my hat on at night. I mean, I love my hat dude, I would never take it off unless I’m either high as shit or I’m drunk as shit.
You just don’t take my hat away from me unless I do it myself or a close friend, or else I’ll go berserk on your ass, and I’m not kidding with that. I will kill you or anyone who touches my hat; you fucking leave my hat alone because it’s awesome. It was also given to me as a gift so yeah.
Anyways, I slowly climbed into my bed, with the cold touch of the sheets touching my coat, as my eyes slowly grew heavy by the second to which eventually I closed my eyes and feel asleep.
So I slept through the night and simply waited until my first day at the school…which the first day of school and my entire experience is another story for another time. No really it is, because what I have to tell is like another book within itself and it will take me sometime to even write it.
So we’re just going to skip it for now and come back to the subject one day, but until then we’re just going to skip to the part of my final night at the school.
So then…the final night at the school. I had just finished going on an adventure, and let me tell you the adventures I had in short terms. The adventures that I had were like the Harry Potter adventures, except it was just Wolf and me since I didn’t have any ‘friends’. Anyways, I had just finished going on an adventure, which was…I don’t know how to explain but an adventure nonetheless and nothing well else to say about it.
I mean I had a bunch of adventures at the school, like going into the forbidden forest, running shit which led to more serious shit, had a Persona 4 moment, found a hidden secret about the school, killed a dragon even, but this one was just…eh.
Anyways, I had just gotten off this eh adventure and I was tired as fuck. I was all messed up as shit as Wolf and I were tired from this eh adventure so of course we wanted to go to straight to bed. Outside everything was calm since we finished this eh adventure and it was all nice.
The animals out in the forest were sleeping calmly and weren’t making a sound for they were at peace. In fact, it felt like that theme song from Bambi for some odd reason whenever you looked upon the quietness of the forest at the time.
Who knows, maybe there was a deer there to kill and a mother got shot by a black guy pony and shit. Then Bambi would rape a doe and Bambi would go on to become Bamler, where he would be like Hitler except he’s a deer and kills all the Jews, because you know, what universe doesn’t have any Jews?
Anyways, the stars were also out and the moon was full as well, like when isn’t it full? No wait, that’s right, whenever Luna is touching herself, is when the moon isn’t full, because she has a hole in her heart that she can’t seem to fill.
Well, we were tired as fuck and we decided to go to bed and sleep off our wounds and shit like that off, even though that wouldn’t work back on earth but for some odd reason we didn’t care at all what happened.
We just wanted to go to bed was all and look forward to the next day.
Well, after a while, just a little over midnight, Wolf had to get up and go take a piss.
Wolf was in his bed until he woke up and he whispered in my ear, “Hey…Knight…I got to go take a huge piss with my dick. Am I allowed to use the bathroom?”
I then whispered back to him which is something everyone wants to hear from somebody, “I’ll cut you if you dare take a step in that bathroom Wolf.”
Then Wolf then said to me, “Come on, I promise I won’t mess anything up this time around.”
I then said, “That’s what you said the last time. And last time when that happened, a giant mutant crab was made and Civil War happened at the school, in which three hundred thousand ponies died. I even had to convince Celestia that it was a Jew, which she didn’t have any ideas what a Jew was so I blamed it on a retarded rabbit that had nothing to do with anything. In fact, he was innocent and all, and even sometimes tried to help other animals out when in need.
All I did was make him talk and made him say things that convinced her that it was him that started the war with robots and giant mutant crabs. Then strangely enough he got beheaded by a cow later on when they broke into the prison dungeon. I don’t even know where the cow came from or why he hated the rabbit, but I end up getting high and drunk if I do try to think about it. In other words Wolf, go fuck off and die.”
I then turned my head away from Wolf and went back to sleep, in which Wolf got up and went outside to take a piss with his Timber Wolf dick. Well, he went down the steps and went into the square like area, on the west side of the school, in which he found a nice large tree to take a piss on.
So he then went towards it and started to let one out, in which he saw a guard that was standing by, which was also a friend of his. He then said to the guard, “Oh hey Kick, how you’re doing on this fine night of…shit?”
Kick then said, “Well I’m doing fine, how about you?”
Then Wolf said back to him, “Well I’m clearly taking a piss obviously.”
Then there was silence for a while until Wolf said, “You know what, one day you, me, and lick over there have to go out one night and get drunk at a bar.”
Then Kick said, “Well, sure I suppose, but I have a family and all, along with a job I have at night, so it would do so much. Hey Lick Can…can you go out and get drunk one night?”
Then Lick walked over and joined the conversation, in which he said, “Nope, I have night school to go to.”
Then Wolf got pissed off by this and he then said to them both, “Oh come on! Not you too…do I have to kidnap you two again and force you to do shit that are illegal?”
Then Kick said, “Well, maybe, but maybe we should report you to the princess. I mean we did see you start that civil war not too long ago with the giant mutant crab. That and you did turn everypony at the school into a zombie, which we promised not to tell.”
Yeah. That turning everypony into a zombie…is actually is a long and funny story that I am not particular proud of but it’s an interesting one. I almost even killed Celestia and Luna for as well but like I said, long and funny story for another time.
Well after Wolf was reminded of a mistake that we did before, he had a look on his face said he was annoyed by it. Then Kick continued, “So I suggest you don’t ask us to go and get drunk with you, but instead keeping the place normal for a while. We kind of do deserve a break from all of your crap that you’ve been doing lately.”
Then Wolf said as he was finishing up, “Fine then…have it your way then! I’ll just go into the castle and randomly walk around in anger and shit!”
Yeah…that last part I’m not sure why wolf randomly went into the castle, but I think the universe had something to do with it…but I’m not so sure though.
Well, anyways, he was randomly walking through it, and somehow got pass the guards because at the time of night, the guards had orders from the princesses to not have any pony disturb them.
Perhaps Wolf walked right passed them since he is an animals and crawls on all fours. You know, just like a midget, I mean they can get into area fifty-one that way if they did that. Too bad their natural predator is rattlesnakes in the desert.
It would be really great to see some alien pictures from that place but oh well, that’s life. Anyways, Wolf was in a hallway, which just happened to be near the room where Celestia and Luna were holding their conference at the time.
Well Celestia and Luna were in her room, discussing plans.
While that was happening, Wolf was walking back and forth in the hallway, mumbling to himself, “Fucking bullshit…can’t believe they won’t go and get drunk with me at a bar…wasn’t my fault that giant mutant crab destroyed the school…it was that midget’s fault…fucking blackmailing son of a bitches.”
Then as he was quiet for about a few seconds and not cursing up a storm, Wolf overheard Celestia say my name, which got him very interested in what they were talking about.
Celestia and Luna were in the room with the door locked, so Wolf went up quietly towards the door and held his ear up to it and tried his very best to hear what they had to say about me.
When he did so, Luna asked Celestia, “How do you even know that it’s really him? He could be just a pony that acts like that way. I have seen this many of times before in the past, you could be just being mislead dear sister.”
Then Celestia said to her, “I am sure that he is the one. Knight is the one to solve all of this. Knight is the missing piece of the group. Listen to me little sister of mine, ever since that day when he returned to the school, the one that we banished from for all of eternity, I knew it was really him. At first when I saw the signs, I was not sure either Luna. However the more that I saw him, the more that he was tested against his will to fight, he was fitting the last piece of the puzzle that we need.
Ever since that night that he saved the school, I have been sure ever since that he is the one that is left. I have been searching for him for years, and I could only find five out of the six. However, now that I see him, see that he is strong, to see that his will cannot be broken easily, that he can be remain strong and tall no matter what he is tested through, he is the one that we have been searching for all this time. He can beat her when she arrives after tomorrow.”
Then there was silence for a few seconds until Luna asked, “Sister, what if…what if he cannot beat her. What if you are wrong and he fails to save us all from her wrath? What will happen then?”
Then there was some silence until Celestia said, “I do not know what will happen then. We could try with all of our might to beat her, but I am afraid her powers have grown ever since that day I put her there on that moon. However, I do have great confidence in Knight that he can defeat her.
Besides, I have been meaning to do this for him anyways, although I just have not had any time to plan this out for Knight. We can at least both agree that Knight does not have too many friends, which was my original plan was to send him to Ponyville and make friends there just like what Twilight did, as I see he lacks the skill of socializing just like what Twilight had years ago.
So in other words, it will also be good for him, and I do know he will have much fun with them as well, even if he does not succeed in his task. But if we end up defeating her for good, he will still be there for he does need to learn the magic of friendship though.
However, if he does complete his task, then not only will he learn the magic of friendship, but he will be part of the prophecy as well. It would also mean that whenever a major threat comes to Equestria, that not even the Elements of Harmony cannot fight against, at least we will have them as a back up to save us all.
However, I do hope this prophecy is a good one and does not have death at the end of it, for the prophecy is lost and cannot be found. All that I know is from a small piece of paper that the creator of the protection elements left it in his journal before he died. Unfortunately however, I cannot find the rest of it, but somewhere he found it, but sadly the location of its hiding place died along with him that night. I do wish I had known this was for coming, for then I would have helped him out with creating the elements instead of him wasting his entire life, not talking to anypony else, nor resting until it was complete.
I remember on his deathbed he told me, ‘Equestria is forever safe, as long as he follows his path.’ I do not know what those words mean, nor did I that night as he fell ill to his sickness that he died from long ago.
However, I do believe it has something to do with Knight, and I do hope he does what he needs to do. Anyways, this is the map of the town where Knight will stay at, along with the files of which the ponies Knight will meet.
These ponies are also part of the team as well, and they all seem to be clean so hopefully all will be well in the end. This is also the list to give to Wolf later tomorrow so when Knight goes around to check on these ponies, he will have a list and a place to go at as well.
I should also mention if he does end up ganing enough knowledge and wisdom, he could become an alicorn, a prince of Equestria.” Then there was a pause until Luna asked something of Celestia, “What is this file what here may I ask sister? I believe I have seen this gentlecolt somewhere before.”
Then Celestia responded with, “Yes…that’s one of the old Cantorlot scientists. He is no longer among the land of the living unfortunately, but I am sure he is in our mother’s heavenly grace and is enjoying the afterlife. His name was Arctic Aurora and was the lead scientists and one of the projects many years ago that is cancelled. Only to take precautions for many lives were taken the last time it was experimented on.
He was doing a project called ‘Project contact.’ He believed and even gave me solid evidence that there existed a world beyond our own that we could not reach by normal means of anything. He said that we could make contact with this other world, in which he was successful in his experiment, but unfortunately it unleashed monsters that killed them all. Thankfully enough he was able to get them to go all back into the portal but he soon died after he did so.”
Then Luan asked, “Well, that’s the thing, I somehow remember him a few nights ago. I even saw him in my chambers before, but he somehow disappeared. I do wonder if I was seeing things that night or it was his ghost. Although he did say to me that one day a pony of a blue coat and mane as black as night with a hat of black coal atop his head will save us all and will be our downfall. Although I do believe I was seeing things that night.”
Celesita then said, “Well, I do suppose you could be seeing things, since when souls move on to the afterlife, they cannot return to the land of the living…unless mother uses a specific spell that only she can use. Although it takes a lot out of her if she does uses it, but I’m sure you just saw something, even if it was just a warning about the future. Now enough talk sister, we must rest and pray tomorrow will be good and that Knight can save us all. It is also time for us to go to bed and rest our weary eyes for once.”
Then Wolf heard the royal sisters coming towards the door, so he hid behind a vase as the two opened the door. They then walked passed them although I’m not sure why Celestia was not going to stay in her own room unless…oh…oh…OH…I see what they were doing.
They were going to get it on…they were going to do it all night long. I see those two lovers were going to try and get it on…or maybe perhaps something more sinister. I don’t really know actually, I’m just looking too deep into these things nowadays.
Maybe they were lesbian inbred that were doing it in Luna’s bed, which strikes me a curious look on my face right now as I’m writing this because I’m wondering what it would be like to see those two get it on all night long. I don’t know but I do wonder…then again I do wonder why Half-Life three was never made, so I guess my curiosity is all over the place.
That and the sinister part, I’ll let that guy who wrote cupcakes handle that part. Unless… be right back.
A FEW HOURS LATER…
Ok what I found was that in an alternate universe where it was more sinister would be that Luna and Celestia had a little secret. You see, this alternate universe contains Luna having a secret room hidden in her room itself, where they have kidnapped many kids from Cantorlot. In which they slowly tortured them, take out their eyeballs and sticks knives in their empty eye sockets just to irritate them. That happened while Celestia sets kids on fire at random and pours gasoline over them as well and makes them eat their parent’s skin and organs as they rape them as well.
Then they do that while having classical music play all over this while they use a lawn mower to cut some of them up, and kill them…and in the end, they hunt and kidnap more children for their blood orgy has they rape the dead bodies. I have to admit…that was an interesting universe that I stumbled upon.
Anyways, what really happened in the real universe was…still I have no fucking clue. They could be doing more paper work for all I care. Well, after Celestia and Luna was not in sight, Wolf went into Celestia’s room, found the map and files to her plans that has to deal with me, grabbed them with his mouth and went back to the room.
However, as he was about to exit Celestia’s room, he said to himself, “I do wonder how none of the guards saw me coming in to this place. I do wonder how they never saw me. Maybe I am a ghost and I died on my way over here? Or maybe…no pony exists at all and they’re just a figment of my imagination...”
Then Wolf had wide eyes and a curious look upon his face. The next thing you know he’s in the dome room on the west side of the school, because apparently the west side is cool and shit.
Well, he goes over to the dorm room where Wolf and I know a pony that is at the school, and slowly arose to the top bunker of the bedroom. From there Wolf then had a s illy little look on his face and slapped the pony, in which the pony woke up and he yelled at Wolf, “Ow! Wolf what the fuck did you do that for? I was sleeping and having a good dream about doing a mare and now you ruined it…you fucker!”
Then Wolf asked him very quietly, “Are you a figment of my imagination?”
Then the pony said, “No you fucking dumbass! Get the hell out of my room…now!!”
Then Wolf got the hell out of there and headed straight for our room at the tower place thing. When he did so, he climbed the stairs and he opened the doors. Once he did that, he then ran straight to me, and woke me up.
He did so by shaking me until I said, “I thought I told you to go fuck off and die Wolf. How come you haven’t fucked off and die yet? You released an army of mutant Elvis Presley’s?”
Then Wolf said to me, “No, although I was planning on to as an April Fools joke for the school but that’s not important right now. As I was on my way back to come over here from after taking my piss, I overheard Celestia and Luna planning something for you.
They say that they will send you to a town and try to make friends. I have the map of the town and the files they have they expect you to meet tomorrow. And I also slapped one of our friends so yeah…he’s mighty pissed off tonight…Knight…you see what I did there Knight?”
I then got up and I told Wolf, “Typical Wolf. Give me those papers.”
Then Wolf did, although it was rather crumbled from being in Wolf’s mouth but still in fine condition. I then used my horn and had a light come on from the tip of my horn so I could read the papers that I was given.
After I scanned through the files and shit, I then said to Wolf, “Well shit then…my suspicions are true then…history is repeating itself…but instead for Twilight it’s for me. Well then, I’ll worry about this tomorrow…now go fuck off and die Wolf.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Go fuck off and die to you too buddy.”
Then he got into his bed and we slept through the night…except for me that night.
I actually wanted him to go fuck off and die and sadly, he didn’t. Anyways, that seems to be a good stopping point for right now.
Next Time: Knight: I have spent a few good long years at Celestia’s school, especially when I was her personal student. However, I am ordered by her to go out and make friends in a town called Stalia, which I meet, by there is a reason why I do meet them. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun
Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun/Episode 3.5: The Elements of Protection
“We have fewer friends than we imagine, but more than we know.” ~Hugo von Hofmannsthal
“In the misfortune of our best friends, we always find something which is not displeasing to us.” ~Duc de la Rochefoucauld
Celestia’s sun rose through Cantorlot, as Luna’s night was slowly fading away in the distance. Everyone in Cantorlot was waking up to go to work or school and such and….well this is sort of a stupid way to start things off isn’t it? Well, I should possibly begin in a better way…welcome to my next chapter in my sad, pathetic, shitty life, now take a seat and go fuck yourself. That’s a great introduction now isn’t it?
Now, where were we? Oh yeah…that’s right now, Wolf was messing around and he woke me up from my slumber to tell me about Celestia and Luna’s plans for me and such…along with Wolf being a dick, planning to unleash an army of zombie Elvis Presley’s upon the school for an April Fool’s day joke, and of course, slapping one of our friends at the school. Well, that was last night, well at the time it was.
It’s the future for me and such, but you get the idea. Days of future past and what not. And then end up wiping everything that was made in the past, so the future is no longer the future, which makes it the present, but at the same time it’s the past, but it’s the future. Wrap your mind around that one people…or fellas, but then again if your mind was blown away by that, chances are you’re already dead because you were so blown away by what I had said, that you took a shot gun and blew your brains out because it was simply too amazing to handle.
I mean that’s what I would do if I was blown away like that, just take a gun and blow my own brains out because the thing that I said blew my brain away…or that it was too confusing and it was hurting my brain, so I end the suffering by putting an end to it all. It’s just logic. Like, a good 9/11 and a bad 9/11.
Or the good holocaust and the bad holocaust. Because…the good holocaust…did something…that was good…hence the name…the good holocaust. And the good holocaust is in…the movie….The Little Nazi that Could…..yeah it makes sense…it’s logic. And Leonard Nimoy would be so proud if he was still alive…then again he did play a Vulcan in Star Trek, so obviously Vulcan equals to illegal Mexican, so you really don’t trust them other than your yard work. Like I said logic.
Then again what is logic? I mean, logic is only what you think is logical. There is nothing saying that the universe made logic. And it can also depend on how smart you are too, so logic…is made up…and non-existent since it is made up…and three hundred people blew their own brains out right now with a double barreled shotgun because their minds were blown away by what I had just said about logic.
And in the end, this brings me back to Days of future past…and a loop type thingy…and we come full circle…somehow…because…you never really blew your brains out…because Huge Jackman goes into the past and then wipes out the future…which is really the past…but then again it’s really the present. So in the end…the lesson here to learn is….
I have no fucking clue whatsoever…nor do I have a clue how this even relates to what I’m even saying at all. And then people complain and Grammar Nazis start riots by burning a bunch of black people’s business’ down while five year olds are skull fucking their great grandparents in a southern bayou while alligators are ripping through space and time with Doctor Who with a pen up his asshole and critics divide by zero, making this conversation never happening whatsoever and we start at the very beginning of what I was saying. Now, where were we?
Oh yeah…that’s right now, Wolf was messing around and he woke me up from my slumber to tell me about Celestia and Luna’s plans for me and such…along with Wolf being a dick, planning to unleash an army of zombie Elvis Presley’s upon the school for an April Fool’s day joke, and of course, slapping one of our friends at the school. Well, that was last night, well at the time it was. Wait a second…déjà a vu….oh well.
Luna’s starry night had passed and Celestia’s beautiful morning slowly rose in the distance…of space…and time and such. Well, it was a good spring day, I suppose it was spring. I don’t really remember since it really wasn’t that memorable and such, but you get the idea though.
Anyways, the birds were chirping, singing a lovely tune to start off the morning. And of course some of the birds were song birds, and if you ever read To Kill a Mockingbird, kill a black guy…bird…I meant bird…that’s what I mean…kill a bird…actually don’t kill a bird, or else the gang of the Song birds will break into your home and pull out a gun and pop your ass, while holding it sideways, like a black guy.
Which makes the bird a black guy…hmmmm….interesting. Well, the birds were signing their tune and every other pony around the school woke up with smiles on their faces, well most I should say since not all the ponies were having a swell time at their school. Some were failing their classes while others were barely making it, which makes it not such a great time for them to be at Celestia’s school for the gifted or something like that.
Then again, I wonder…are the gifted students that are really smart…are actually dumb? And like…vise versa for the other ‘special’ students that you give a gold start to whenever they go and take a shit right for once every six months. Well, the ponies were enjoying the birds chirping to start off their glorious morning at the school, and the birds suddenly went quiet.
How you ask, because Wolf got so annoyed, along with me as well a little bit, that he grabbed out a gun that I had hidden near my desk, which of course I taught him how to use, don’t ask, and shot all the birds. In other words, he killed a bunch of black people and soon, they will have a bird revolution and soon use the hash tag on their black people social media accounts, I mean bird phones: #BlackGuyStuff. Let the revolution commence! But don’t worry, we’ll kill them…and soon…they will be back in the cotton fields, I mean in the hood. Yes…the hood…that’s where they will exactly they will be at…no seriously, they will. I mean it’s their natural habitat. Anyways, aside from birds/black jokes, Wolf had just killed all the birds by pointing a gun out the window and such, which he had to get on his hind legs of course, and soon was relieved to kill all the birds around the area that was annoying him. I then heard the gun shots, obviously, like no shit Sherlock, but apparently some grammar Nazis aren’t Sherlock, so they really need everything to spelled out for them to actually understand anything whatsoever.
Anyways, I jolted out of bed, got onto the floor and quickly rammed into Wolf because he used a gun. Guns are not common in Equestria, nor were they ever guns. It was actually quite peaceful most of the time without it, but you know, if to say one person, say humans or Earth itself, were to bring a single gun and introduce it into this universe that I am in…hell will break loose and that’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust humans too much with the ability to go to other universes.
This is what could happen, no…scratch that…what did happen, but that will obviously be explained later. Well, I had a pissed off look at Wolf while I pinned him to the ground with my two hooves, while Wolf looked at me, wondering what I was doing, or maybe I was gay. And then, we could have had a bromance. And somewhere on the internet, some lonely bastard or bitch read this and made a romance or bromance between me and Wolf.
As in it would say, ‘I looked into Wolf’s eyes. His eyes were begging me to give him some love. We were best friends to the end, and I wanted to show my love towards him. My glossy lips curled as I licked it and my eyes met his eyes. Suddenly, Wolf wanted to show his loved towards me, so he grabbed my member and slowly went up and down my member, showing his love towards me. And then, I got down on my pony knees and spread my butt cheeks for him. He then had a smile on his face and he inserted his long cock into my ass. It was painful, but I loved him too much. Wolf is love. Wolf is life. And then, his love juice came and I took it all up the ass.’
You know, some lonely little fuck out there that is seeing a dozen therapists at the moment would write that. Besides, I wouldn’t do that for Wolf. If we saw eye to eye and wanted to show our friendship to each other…or…broship….we would either smoke weed, drink beer, make bets, make sick and weird jokes, or try and kill each other…but in a good way.
Anyways, Wolf looked at me and he then said while I was giving him a pissed off look, “What are you doing Knight? If you’re planning on coming out of the closet on me, I want to let you know I don’t swing that way.”
I then said to him, but with a moderate tone in my voice, “First, you’re a somewhat funny asshole Wolf.”
I then said to him, but this time with more of an aggressive tone when I spoke, “Second, what the fuck do you think you’re doing you dumbass!? Do you have any idea what trouble you could cause!?”
I then took the gun away from Wolf as I got up with my to put it away in a box hidden near the wooden desk in my room that I used for my studies and such.
As I was walking over to the desk to put it in a box that was in a secret compartment that I made within the wall, long story, I said to Wolf, “If anyone here in this universe that we’re carrying guns, we’re fucked Wolf.”
Wolf then said to me as I was pulling out the box on the desk to put the gun back, “Oh come on Knight. They won’t know you’re human, they would just think you came up with a new invention and then you could make millions…and then…we can finally have an army of genetically modified waffles that sing and dance while you’re eating them alive…and they shit out purple sherbet ice cream while they’re doing it!”
I then paused and put a hoof on my face and gave a sigh.
I then said to Wolf while I was putting the box away in the compartment, “Yes, but this is a weapon Wolf. This can kill and cause chaos. I mean if you look back on Earth and see how much trouble has been caused with just a gun, you would understand what I’m talking about.”
I then started to walk towards my bed, where I had a nightstand nearby. I had kept the files that Wolf gave me last night in the drawer, because honestly why the fuck not?
Well, as I was grabbing out the files, I then continued to say to Wolf, “I know it may sound like I’m talking shit about guns and that they’re bad, but obviously I’m not. I’m just saying is all, you shouldn’t bring anything into a world that doesn’t need guns. And obviously, this world doesn’t need it. It’s completely fine without and functions normally. But another problem is, Celestia and Luna might come after me and try to kill me if they find out about the gun because they may or may not think it’s a good thing and would want to execute me for ‘creating’ such a thing.
‘In which case I’m dead and you will possibly either be thrown back into the Everfree forest or imprisoned for the rest of your useless wooden life. And then we will be truly fucked if we both end up in hell.
‘Then again if I ever see TK again, he could possibly bust me out since he is now currently the devil of his universe and all, and more than likely he can bust us out of hell in this universe. But that would mean we would be exiled from this universe, and so far I rather not cause any trouble than what I have to around here. Sure, I may cause trouble sometimes with guns, but sometimes I can’t help it and end up using it, that or I’m really high, stupid, or drunk.
‘Either way, I sometimes end up using it for a stupid purpose. But that is not the point Wolf. The point is, no pony here in this goddamn world needs to know about who I am and what I am capable of. Nor do they need to know my past and my adventures through the portals.
‘ Besides, they may not trust me, what am I talking about, they won’t trust me anymore if they find out I lied to them about who I truly am Wolf. And I also fear for their own safety if they find out about the portals, because they could unleash something upon themselves that cannot be undone. Now…anything you would like to ask…Wolf?”
Then Wolf just stared blankly at me, and for a few seconds, there was nothing but pure silence.
He then said to me with a particular look that said, ‘I don’t get it. Are you a douche bag or are you just being a little whiny bitch because your father tried to strangle you in the shower every time you tried to sing a kidz bop song, because he hated you ever since you were born. And then he would go into your room every night, drunk, thinking that you’re an ugly chick, and strangely enough, he has a thing for ugly chicks, so he starts to rape you in the asshole, while you’re screaming for mercy and for someone to put you out of your misery, but yet all you get is a very mildly irritated black cat that ends up pissing in your face every time you said the word pudding and ends up raping you in the ear.’
Yeah…that kind of looked is what Wolf gave me, while he said to me, “I’m sorry, I was thinking of blowing my own brains out because what you said was very boring to me, can you repeat that again please?”
I then gave him a serious look and I then said to him, “Just shut the fuck up wolf,” as I went to sit on my bed and look through the files to see what was going on.
I then said to him as I got on my bed, “Just don’t mess anything up and stay out of trouble while I look through these files, ok Wolf?”
Wolf then said to me, “Awwwwweeeee…but I want to go outside Knight. I might be able to rape and half eat the dead birds that I kill and stuff it in the books. So that the next personal student of Celestia stays here, he or she will have an awesome surprise that says ‘I’m going to rape you if you fuck up in life.”
I then looked at Wolf as I was picking up the first file, “Sometimes Wolf, I don’t know…but I sometimes I want to end you…”
Then Wolf gave a bit of a smirk and then said, “So does the ladies.”
I then said to him, “You’re never going to fuck a pony Wolf…not at least here you’re not.”
Wolf then said to me, “I’m willing to bet that I can do so before we do end up leaving this joint.”
Then I asked Wolf, “How much are you willing to bet Wolf?”
Wolf then thought for a bit and he then said to himself, “I’m willing to bet to listen to one of Celestia’s lectures about where my kind comes from.”
I then said to him, “You really hate her and her lectures about your kind don’t you Wolf?”
He then said to me, “I want to put a bullet through her head every time she speaks a single word about my kind. She’s so boring it’s not even funny.”
I then said to him, “Well I can at least stand her. I mean it’s a bit interesting to me at least. Now, I’m willing to bet that if you win, I’ll run around the school yard, dressed up like a hobo and scream ‘I escaped Kevin James’s basement!”
Wolf then said, “Deal!”
And then he put his paw in front, as I put my hoof in front as well and we shook on the deal. The thing is between Wolf and me, we always make bets.
I then said to Wolf, “Now shut up and listen to what these files that you brought to me last night have to say.”
Then Wolf sat down on the ground and was all ears. I opened up the first files that had something about the town I was going to, which was Stalia. I then started to speak about what I was seeing on the files.
I said as Wolf was listening…for once… “With these files that you gave me Wolf, it seems that Celestia and Luna are planning to send me to a small town called Stalia. It seems to be somewhat near Ponyville, or in other words, over on the other side of the Everfree Forest. It also says that the town was found a few years after Ponyville was found, but not much else is known about the small town’s origins, for no history book in Equestria has the origins written down for Stalia.
‘However there exists rumors about a book hidden within the City Hall building in Stalia, which tells of Stalia’s beginnings and how it came to be along with who found it, but those are just rumors, so chances are it may or may not exist. Outside of that, Stalia is a complete mystery, as if one day, it just decided to exist. Interesting. It also says that the gender population is at a fair balance, has a hospital, school, movie theatre, market place, ect. The usual town things that a town would have, nothing new to really talk about. Although, here’s an interesting thing.”
There was a small piece of paper attached to the file about Stalia, and it was something of interest a little bit and I said, “It seems that Stalia has a connection to the Everfree Forest somehow in its origins…but it’s a rumor though. Well no point in wasting time in a rumor then I suppose. Let’s see what else is in this file about Stalia…nope…doesn’t look like nothing else other than this one last thing.
‘ It says here, which seems to be written by Celestia, her writing seems familiar, that Stalia is home to the Elements of Protection. The Elements of Protection are a second set of elements that was created long ago without the knowledge of Celestia or Luna, and it is to be believed that five of the six elements are in Stalia. Not much is known about the elements and the power it holds other than it can defeat great and powerful foes of certain strength. And I’m guessing since history seems to be repeating here, I’m one of the elements, so that makes me all of the elements and such if I go to Stalia. How wonderful. It also says that the files of the ponies I must meet and make friends with are right here.”
I then look at the other files and I saw all the ponies I would have to meet and join forces with for whatever reason why Celestia and Luna are making me do this.
I stare at the files and I then said to Wolf, “Alright then, that makes sense, but the question is, how am I part of the elements? I don’t even live here, but then again if someone can write fan fiction about a group of humans being a second set of the Elements of Harmony on Earth, then why not this? I mean that story does have its own universe somewhere in the portals, but still…I suppose anything is possible.”
Wolf then spoke up and asked, “Does it say any where why Celestia wants you to go to Stalia? I mean, if it’s because she thinks you’re like Twilight, then maybe she has a problem.”
I then said to Wolf while I was continuing to look at the file that Celestia had wrote about the Elements of Protection, “Celestia always been having a problem for me. For fuck’s sake, she keeps thinking I don’t have any friends, but of course that’s a lie, but for whatever reason she can’t seem to see that I have friends…but whatever. Now apparently Celestia did list a reason why she is sending me, not sure why she would write this down, but really who gives a fuck nowadays, right? Anyways, it says it here…but it’s like written in a story format. I suppose I could try and read as it is.
‘ Once upon a time, there lived two sisters that lived together and ruled the kingdom of Equestria. They both ruled upon the land and blah, blah, blah, it’s a bunch of fucking bullshit. Let me cut to the chase….apparently Celestia felt bad for sending her little sister Luna to the moon all by herself with no one to talk to, so she made a clone of herself so she could at least talk to someone and wouldn’t be alone for a thousand years or so.
‘However, Luna was still Nightmare Moon while she was banished, so she ended up corrupting the clone and somehow the clone is finding its way back to kill the two sisters and rule over Equestria.” Wolf then asked, “Is that really what she put on there?”
I then said to him, “Of course not you dumbass! Why in the world would see even write a curse word other than when it’s absolutely necessary in rare situations? No…I just summarized it up because what Celestia was a bunch of bullshit to me…to me that is. I mean sure, it was nice that she wrote it down like it was in the beginning of the first episode in the show back on Earth, or that it was like a fairy tale or whatever she was trying to do, I’m just saying is all is that it is not what we’re dealing with here.
‘We’re dealing with some clone that she made over a thousand years ago and me and these ponies I have to meet have to fix her mess because apparently we hold great power as Elements of Protection, along with the fact that I’m actually human and over fifty thousand years old, along with discovering the portals to the outside of the universe that leads to more portals to other universes…and you’re a talking timber wolf, Wolf.
‘It might have been fine for Twilight, but not for me…this is different…but in the end we all see what we want to see I suppose, so no complaining about that. But if you really want to know Wolf, it’s that Once upon a time there lived two sisters. They once ruled a kingdom named Equestria. The eldest, rose the sun every morning, while the youngest, rose the moon every night.
‘However, all the ponies would bask in the daylight and rest under the stars, but it angered the young one and she felt betrayed and unwanted. She felt like she meant nothing at all, so one day, a dark force took over her and she became Nightmare Moon. She wanted to banish the sun and forever have the night in its’ place, but the older sister wouldn’t stand for her evil ways, so she used the Elements of Harmony against her and banished her to the moon for a thousand years so she would not harm a single soul.
‘Every pony rejoiced as Nightmare Moon was gone, but the older sister felt sadness within her heart and felt sorry for the young one, who was now all alone on the moon with no one to talk to.
‘So, before she started her reign over Equestria by herself, she sent a copy, a clone of herself to talk to Luna, and perhaps that one day she would turn back into her normal self if the clone could talk her out of her younger sister being Nightmare Moon.
‘However, as the older sister saw each and every night, as she kept a watch on the moon to see how the progress was going, she was scared, as her clone slowly turned evil as Nightmare Moon turned her evil.
‘Of course she always thought that the Elements of Harmony could defeat her when the time came for her arrival, as she knew she would come to Equestria one day. However, a soon as after when Nightmare Moon turned back into her kind sister once more, she was worried that the Elements of Harmony wouldn’t do it.
‘And she knew of the other set of elements, the Elements of Protection was still around, after she wanted to hunt the elements down and destroy it after a former follower of hers disobeyed her orders and made elements that were not the elements that were kind such as the Elements of Harmony, but instead were of different aspects.
‘So, instead of hunting to destroy the elements, she instead hunted the elements down and to try and gather the elements in one place, so the elements could fend off the attack of the clone, for the elements are much stronger than the Elements of Harmony and could fend off any attack from beyond their own world.
‘However, the two sisters could only find five out of the sixth. The sixth one is still missing to this day and roaming somewhere in this world, only time will tell if the element can be found.
‘If not, then death shall be upon Equestria and all that lives there, as the Elements of Harmony cannot defend this world against her clone, as she has gathered much strength since she was turned by Nightmare Moon. However, the two sisters hope one day they will find the last element in time…one day…”
Then we heard a knock on the door. Then, a voice spoke up and said “Knight, could we come in please?”
It was Celestia, along with Luna, because of course she said the word ‘we’, and who else would it be…Cadence? I don’t think so…she’s like…over with the crystal meth ponies and stuff…getting high on crystal meth…she could get high on all those ponies.
Anyways, I then quickly hid the files under the covers in my bed and then looked towards the door and said, “You can come in.”
The door opened and Celestia and Luna walked through the door and closed it behind them. They then walked towards me in a calm mood, so you know, they’re not upset or anything. I mean why would they be upset in the first place?
It’s not like a big explosion happened outside or anything like that and Muslim ponies start exploding…because they explode naturally. I mean…Muslims explode in nature…it’s in their genes…because…of logic. Logic of sense…and of mind. It just makes sense is all, let’s put it that way. Well, Celestia and Luna were walking towards me and we are both looking at each other while Wolf was just…looking as well. I mean…it’s because…why the fuck do I have to detail everything again?
Oh wait…I forgot…if I don’t do so, the Grammar Nazis are going to start World War Q because why not and everyone else will think it’s the apocalypse because one item was not described enough for fifty pages. I mean it’s cool, I understand, we all get that way…I mean…just wait until the day when Steam goes offline or when all men lose their porn…then the real shit will happen.
Just you wait…it’ll happen one day. And when it happens...I’ll still be in the My Little Pony universe as usual chances are…that or dead, but either way I don’t need to bother with what people do in their lives anymore, because while I’m writing this right now, I haven’t been back to Earth in years, so honestly I don’t care what goes on Earth anymore.
But anyways, the two sisters with their flowing manes as usual walked up to me and stopped by the foot of my bed.
I then asked them, “So, are you two here to tell me something important I assume?”
Celestia then looked at her sister for a bit, then back to me and said, “Well, yes, you are correct Knight. We do have some important and a bit exciting news for you. Although we are unsure how well you and Wolf will take it.”
I then told them, “I’m all ears, as well as Wolf…right Wolf? Wolf?”
I then turn my head towards Wolf and he was just staring at me, but yet it seems he was just staring out into space while looking at me in a way.
Wolf then comes to notice that I’m looking at him as well as the two princesses and he says, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy looking at Luna and Celestia’s wings.”
Celestia and Luna then took a quick glance at their wings, but they shrugged it off and looked back at me while I looked at them.
Celestia then said to me, “Yes…well, we have some news for you Knight. Now, I am aware that you don’t have any friends here and you mostly spend your time here with the books and everything.”
That’s a lie because clearly Celestia and Luna never noticed that I had friends and I didn’t give two shits and a popsicle if the books were burned and Twilight were crying her eyes out that her books that she went to school with when she was Celestia’s personal student were all gone now. I would cry more to a snail that lost his dick more than that ever happening.
But, for whatever season, at the time, Celestia and Luna never saw what I saw. But honestly, I know now, but does it really fucking matter now? I mean it honestly doesn’t and…oh…right…I forgot…the Nazis…World War Q…sorry.
I would rather not have any complaints, because the complain department is gone because it was just a grenade. No really, I had a complain department for this type of shit and it was a grenade…but too many ponies took that grenade and…well I have no more grenades so whatever.
Anyways, Celestia then continued with, “Well, Luna and I have decided to send you to a small town near Ponyville that goes by the name of Stalia. We believe this will help you make friends, but not only that, but I do want you to do some work there as well for me if you don’t mind of course.” I then asked, “What is the work do you want me to do then?”
Celestia then said, “Well, as you may know, the Summer Sun Celebration is tomorrow. And I have chosen Stalia as the town where I shall be at, however I would like for you to oversee the decorations and such, as I would want it to be as perfect as it can be. I shall give you a list tomorrow when you do go to Stalia on the ponies you have to check in with. And who knows, perhaps you will make friends with them. So, how do you feel about staying in Stalia?”
I then say to her, “I’m ok with it. I mean, I’ll miss the school, but I’m ok with it.”
Celestia and Luna then looked relieved and had smiles on their faces, in which Celestia then said, “Excellent. You shall leave first thing tomorrow then. For now, you should start getting packed and enjoy your last day here on the campus. And there will be no need to come to any lectures that I may have for you as well. Just be ready for tomorrow and relax.”
Celestia and Luna then headed towards the door and Luna opened the door and headed out. Then Celestia was about to go out of my room, but she then paused in her tracks in the middle of the doorway, looked back at me, and smiled. She then headed back outside where Luna was and was headed to do whatever business that she had to do. She also closed the door just to let those people with reading issues know.
Wolf then said to me once the door was closed, “Well then…that was interesting.”
I then said back to him, “Yeah…those two bitches were interesting.”
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun
Well, the two sisters were out and about doing their things, and me and Wolf of course were still in our room.
I then said to Wolf, “So, before I was interrupted by those two, that’s basically for what Celestia and Luna wrote about what the problem is.”
Then Wolf asked, “Are sure there’s nothing more about the origins about the elements?”
I then looked a second time and did find something, in which case I said to him, “Yes there is…but I’m going to be a douche bag right now and not say anything about it to you since you were a dumbass this morning. But I’ll give you this though.”
I then quickly read through it and then said to Wolf, “The Elements of Protection is strong, very strong, and it seems to have been made for anything that may harm this world from the beyond. As in, the Elements of Harmony are meant to protect from within, while the Elements of Protection protect this world from anything from the beyond, the unknown, anything that isn’t from this world. A good example would be TF. Now how about we go down onto the campus and talk with the guys, I’m sure they will want to know about our departure tomorrow.”
Of course I will say what the origins behind the elements…don’t worry Grammar Nazis and critics. You don’t have to start World War Q yet…don’t worry…don’t drop the nuke yet on the Asians. You can do that once you think I went off course, which I know you will do it eventually.
I’m sure you’re eyeing my shit like a hawk, ready to strike when shit doesn’t get explained. Anyways, Wolf and I then got up and headed for the door. Wolf went out first, and I was the last one out…obviously.
We headed down the steps since we were still living in the tower and we headed towards the front of the school building. We went around the building of course and I saw my main friends hanging around a tree near the path to the entrance of the front door to the school building. They were my main friends and they were all guys of course, calm down females…calm the fuck down…I know you have a nuke too…don’t use it…and obviously I’m talking to the ones that go bat shit crazy if they don’t see a playable female character in a video game.
Anyways, my main friends were Promptos, Ig, and Gladio. Promptos had a blond colored main and tail. It was in a spiky type style of hair and his coat color was a tan-ish color. His cutie mark was a black vest…because….logic…and he was always a clumsy guy, but was a cool and always up beat type of guy.
Like, he’s a bit dumb at times, but can be very supportive and helpful whenever he isn’t clumsy. As for Ig, I’m not sure why he was named that, but all I know is that he was named Ig. Ig had a combed back mane, with a bit of a spiky style in the front with a bronwn-ish color mane and tail. He always wore a pair of glasses, his coat color was grey and had a green eye color. His cutie mark was a pair of glasses surprisingly, but only because he was the smart one in the group. But he could be annoyed sometimes by just about anything at times if it went for too long.
As for Gladio, He was the tough guy in the group and also had a pair of abs and always wore a black vest that was always opened. Not sure why other than always showing off his abs…maybe he was from New Jersey.
His coat color was white while his main color was black and his hair was always straight town except for the front. It was always clear in the front and sides. So his mane somewhat flowed every now and then, always making him look important because he was college student and a philosopher.
So if to say he had a guitar, and wrote a song about water…he would’ve been cool, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he works out, but he isn’t obsessed about it though. Well, even though this is the first time mentioning them, I will say we went on plenty of adventures, like not too long ago on that day, we went camping and got lost and had to find our way back to the School. But don’t worry Nazis…I’ll get to that story one day, but for now, those were my main friends, as I have more friends…you idiots…
Anyways, Ig was lying down on the grass, green grass for you retards out there, and reading a book. As for Gladio and Promptos, they were near the tree and talking, although that tree…that tree looked very sinister that day. It was as if it was plotting…to take over the world…a very sinister looking tree…against the bright of the daylight…you would have never guessed it was a sinister tree.
Anyways, I should also mention that how that the guys were starting to remind me of a bad rap music gang that makes bad rap music as I was walking towards them, like they would make a song called, “Rape that cookie and apple up in the butt with your mouth.”
Sounds like what a black would say or Zebra if you know what I mean.
Well, I walked up towards them, and as I was walking towards them, Promptos noticed me first, and he said to me with a smile while raising his hoof in the air to wave at me and said, “Oh, hey Knight! How’s it going?”
Then Gladio and Ig turned their heads towards me and then Ig said, while putting his book down, “I hope you’re not up to anything stupid, because last time we were almost caught red hoofed because of your stupidity.”
I then said to Ig as I stopped near them, because you know…personal space…in case anyone doesn’t know anything at all…a.k.a almost everyone that tells me to remember that the reader doesn’t know ANYTHING at all.
Anyways, I then said to them, “First off, that was Wolf that was being stupid…as usual. Second, I have news for all of you…and you might not like it.”
Then Gladio then said to me, “What happened this time? Did Wolf here unleash another god that plans to destroy the world after being released from its prison by Wolf. If that’s the case, then bring it on…We can take it on, of course if we work together as a team of course.”
I then said to him, “No…Wolf hasn’t done that…yet…but it’s something else that doesn’t require us to work as a team, but more or less just talking it through.”
Then Promptos said to me, “You can tell us anything Knight. We can always talk things through.”
Then Ig put his two cents in and said, “Yes, but yet we always get into situations that could have been easily been prevented if we had talked things through. So, what do you have to say to us Knight?”
Then I said, “Well it’s not just you, but everyone else. You see…Celestia and Luna are sending me away to a town called Stalia so I’m basically moving away from you guys and possibly won’t see you for a long time, if not forever.”
Then they were shocked and surprised to hear the news…but not the good kind of surprised.
You know, the shocked face look that says, ‘Oh my goodness…social networking sites are down. Quick! It’s the end of the world. The four horsemen of the apocalypse are here. Hide your kids, hide your wives. beat your kids, beat your wives. Kill all the Jews, it’s mass hysteria. Quick… kill the babies… we need…. fucking… shit we’re stupid in society.’
That kind of look.
Well, Promptos then said with that look to be specific, “You’re going to leave us Knight?”
Then Gladio said, “That isn’t good…not one bit…”
Then Ig said, “This is truly sad news to hear.”
And then my two other friends came walking in, the brother and sister as they came walking out of the building, the front door obviously and came walking towards us.
The names were Starlight Rocker, being the sister of course, and Clever Fire…because…also logic. Man, Nimoy would be so proud right now at those names. Well, Clever was of course, the older brother of the younger sister, Starlight. But to me, Starlight seems to be a common name in the My Little Pony universes, but that’s just me I guess.
Well, both were walking out the two front doors to the school and were walking towards us, and like I said, they were friends…just not my main bro friends if you know what I’m sayin. You saw what I did there? Get it? No? Only Asians did…well…at least you’re still cool to me Asians…these…Philippine people never let me have any fun…
Well, after that they walked towards us, Starlight said…now wait a second…I forgot to explain what they both looked like…don’t start a riot yet people…don’t start…it’s not too late yet. You don’t have to do the rape and murdering just yet…I know you’re going to do it because of people…people not explaining stuff properly…just hold on your ponies…horses…..you get the idea.
Well, with Starlight, she was a brown coat color type of pony with a dark blonde type of mane color and her hair style was all straight down, but with a bit of curls I suppose, like it wasn’t completely straight down, but you get the idea. She wasn’t much for spending time with other girls, she liked spending time with the guys.
She wasn’t much for that make up or dating type either. In fact, she pretty much grew up in a home filled with men because her mother died when she was only one month old, so her bigger brother and father had to take care of her instead.
No grandmas or grandpas, so she was used to do guy things and such and never really did anything that a mare did…for the most part. Or else she might as well have a sex change or become a lesbian.
Either way…it wouldn’t be the hot kind. Oh, and she always wore a grey hoodie, not sure why, but I’m guessing that was her thing. As for her bigger brother, Clever, he was a brother that was always there for his little sister, but yet, never did well at it.
He was good at studying and such, but he was mostly just one of those idiots that were rebels if you get what I’m saying. It’s a bit complicated to fully explain, but his character was like…a bit odd. Anyways, he had a dark/light blue color to his coat, with a very dark brown mane and it was a typical type of a stallion mane style look to it. Nothing special about it.
Although, the question is…do you want it to be special, like a retarded kind of special or a too smart kind of epical. Because either way, it’s stupid. Oh…and Clever was the one Wolf slapped that one night in case if you were wondering and wanted to go into a killing rage because I didn’t explain it.
Anyways, they both walked up to us and Starlight said, “Hey Knight, how’s it going?”
Then Clever asked me, “You’re ready for a another ‘fun’ day at school?”
I then said to him, “Nope…because I don’t have to report to Celestia or anything like that…because I’m moving away.”
Then they were both shocked and then Starlight said, “You’re moving!? Where is Celestia moving you’re to?”
I then said, “To a small town called Stalia…apparently it’s near the town of Ponyville and stuff.”
Clever then said to me, “Well then…we’ll miss you for sure then. When are you’re going?”
Then I said, “Tomorrow morning.”
Then Starlight thought for a moment and then said, “You know what we should all do? Have a little get together by the hill and have a little going away party for Knight.”
Promtos then said, “That’s a great idea! We can have beer, a little bon fire, roast marshmallows, sing a goodbye song for Knight. It’ll be great!”
Then Ig said to Promptos, “What are you Promptos, in the third grade? Roasting marshmallows and such, aren’t you a little old for that?”
Then Promtos said with a confident smile, “Come on Ig…you can never be too old to roast marshmallows and have a good time.”
Then Ig said to him while continuing to read his book, “I know that Promtos, I’m just saying, will you ever grow up and stop being dumb? Seriously Promptos, you’re like a child sometimes…but I’ll admit…you’re our child, and I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about that.”
Then Promptos said, “Hey! I’m not a child! I can perfectly be an adult.”
Then Ig had a little smirk form across his face and said, “Yes, you sure can be, whenever you’re playing with your video games and such.”
Promptos then said, “Hey…even Stallions play arcade games too.”
Then Ig said, “Of course they do.”
Galdio then butted in and then said to me, “Since you’re going away Knight, do you think you can hang out with us one more time or what?”
I then said, “Yup, same thing with you two…Starlight and Clever, I can hang out with you all one last time, and then at the end of the day, spend it on the top of the hill roast marshmallows and stuff.”
Then, another friend of mine, but one that I didn’t hang out with a lot, but knew very well though, was Snuggles Swirl. She was one of those mares that was kind of opposite of Starlight, and was always that mare type or that girly girl type that loved the dresses and make up and such. She wasn’t stupid or anything, but she was likeable.
Oh…and she was a Pegasus…which..before any others bring out their pitchforks and torches, which I know you all spent a fortune on, I’m going to make you waste that money and tell you what the others were. Ig was a unicorn, Promtpos was also a Pegasus while Glaido was an Earth Pony. With Starlight she was a unicorn as well while Clever was an Earth Pony.
See….you all wasted your money on those pitchforks and torches…I hope those burn in hell… now back to what I was talking about…Snuggle Swirl. She had a coat color that was between a red and a pink color.
So a light red I suppose you can call it. She also had a light colored purple mane and this was all straight down with a bit of pink highlights in her mane. Oh, and she had a cutie mark that was a makeup case, and before you all go berserk on my pony ass…please don’t rape it…Starlight’s cutie mark was a picture of a guitar…so maybe she was destined to be a musician perhaps. With Clever…for some reason, he had a teddy bear, so maybe he was going to be able to make….teddy bears. I really have no fucking clue why it was that way, but you get the idea.
With Snuggle’s personality, like I said, she was the girly girl type…so nothing else needs to be explained, but can she be tough and stand up for herself? Of course she can, so all the raging feminists can calm the fuck down and hold on to their bomb that they have somewhere in an airport. I’m sure anyways, I mean, that’s what happens when someone pisses them off…or they’re on their period. Yeah…right now…I feel like wearing sunglasses because of that, because clearly…I’m a complete and utter idiot…an idiot that just burned the feminists. Anyways, Snuggles was running towards me, or galloping for those cloppers out there…what?
I’m sure you cloppers would find it sexy if you saw a pony dressed in a sexy outfit and was galloping…right? Or maybe you would find it sexy and unable to not jack off if some hot chick, or guy, which either way you swing, were to try and gallop and or say the word gallop. In fact, I’m sure every time cloppers hear the word gallop, they cum in their pants. And then they slowly eat the cum, resulting them to cum again in an endless cum cycle and eventually having a heart attack and going to pony heaven, the bad one, and eventually trying to pretend none of that ever happened.
Well, as I was saying, Snuggles was running towards me while saying to me, “Knight! Knight! I’ve got to show you something!”
Then after she said that, she didn’t stop running until she rammed into me…well it’s sort of like ramming anyways. I mean, she was running towards me and didn’t stop until she crashed into me. In which case, she was on top me, I know, I’m ashamed myself, and we were on the ground, trying to gather what had just happened.
She then realized she crashed into me and she then got off of me, finally, now I can be the dominant one now, and she then lent out her hoof towards me so she could help me get off the ground.
I gladly grabbed her hoof and I slowly got up from the ground, while she said to me, “I’m so sorry about that. I just really wanted to show you something.”
I then said to her, while looking down to make sure I didn’t have any bruises or anything like that, because clearly you can get seriously hurt if you fall on the ground and someone crashed into you…………………………. Did you get it yet?
Anyways, I then said to her while I was checking to see if I was hurt or anything like that, but obviously you really don’t get it, so whatever, “Yeah, I’m fine Snuggles. So what is it do you want to sow me.”
Then she grabbed my right hoof and said, “It’s this way!”
I was then dragged along by Snuggles against my will as she quickly pulled me to whatever she wanted for me to see. We then went through the front doors of the school, took a quick flight of stairs to the left once we entered through the doors.
She then dragged me up the stairs, as I felt every bump as I went up, as I was being dragged. It didn’t hurt that much, as I was used to worse. Oh, and as far as Wolf goes, he was just following along and such, why, I don’t know, I suppose he didn’t feel like speaking up because he was enjoying my pain of being dragged up the stairs and such, but you get the point.
Also, I should also mention that when I first met Snuggles, I think Wolf kept having a sexual fantasy about her that she sucked his wooden cock and stuff. Why did I bring that up? Because Wolf didn’t mention or speak to snuggles when I was being dragged up the steps and to help me out, so perhaps he was too busy checking out that fine pony ass.
Anyways, we eventually got up to the second level and she immediately headed towards the girl dorm rooms. And just to make it clear, it didn’t matter if a guy was in the girl’s area, as I know some schools, and even in Equestria, didn’t allow guys to be in girl areas if you know what I’ saying. Well, here, those rules didn’t apply, so calm down, don’t kill anyone. I didn’t leave out that detail. Especially for you nitpickers out there. I know you like to start a good ol’ fashioned mob when someone leaves out something. But I’m here to ruin your day and give you a big fuck you! And just to make it clear, I’m giving a big ass smile right now.
Well, she then dragged me down two hallways, eventually getting to her room. She opened up her door to her assigned room that she was given ever since she moved to the school, and went in, dragging me along while Wolf followed behind. She then closed the door, and while she did that, I slowly got up.
She then realized what she had done and she said, “I’m sorry Knight. I didn’t mean to do it.”
I then said to her, with a neutral expression on my face of course, “Just show me what you wanted me to show me.”
Snuggles then had a smile on her face and quickly went to her makeup area, or at least what she calls it, and quickly grabbed out a golden make up box…thingy…whatever you people call it.
She then opened it up and everything was golden in it, and I then asked, “What is it?”
She then told me, “Knight…this is one of the rarest sets of makeup kits. I just happened to find it on sale for forty bits, can you believe that?”
I then looked at her weird and started to question through my mind if this was seriously what she wanted me to see.
I then said to her, “Yeah…sure that’s something…I mean…it’s great. But uh…is this really what you wanted to show me? I thought it was important or something like that.”
She then said back to me with a particular tone like every bitch, I mean mare or female would respond in conversation if they were that type of female, “Of course it’s important. I had to show you Knight because this is good. I mean when will I ever see this again? And besides, you’re like…one of my closest friends, so I had to show it to you Knight. That and I was thinking about using it perhaps next time when the school has another dance…or maybe if there’s another Hearts and Hooves day dance…and maybe you could…take me to it.”
She said that last, long sentence while looking at me in a very odd way, but not that odd. The way that you would know if some guy or gal was looking at you and you can tell by looking deep into their eyes, deep into their souls as the eyes are windows to their souls, depending on if you’re possessed by a demon that is, that guy or gal has a special place for you in their heart. Or in other words, they have the hots for you.
And if you still don’t get it, either seek help or you shall forever be alone. Wait…sorry, I forgot, nowadays if you want to do it, you just go up to that person and do it. Because according to the younger kids…you only live once…and that’s the cue to ruin your life and possibly end it as soon as you can. Possibly ending it when you use that sentence the first time around. But hey, I’m not judging, because I’ll see you all in hell anyways…and then I’ll get out of hell and you all suffer.
Why you may ask? Because according to many people…that’s what happens when you don’t believe in the almighty stair gods. And chances are right now, there’s already riots happening as I am writing this out because people can’t get their shit together on what they believe. But hey…that’s…something of a greater importance that we shall never ever talk about…ever.
Now, as I was saying before being rudely interrupted by those who still think burning down the world and causing chaos will solve all the world’s problems and their beliefs, I was saying Snuggles was sort of in love with me. And even though you all just met Snuggles, that was true during my stay at the school, she did have the hots for me and well…she was a nice mare and everything, but honestly like I’ve said many times before, I’m not the marrying type. Nor am I the type that would want to make love to a mare or women.
Not to be a sexist, because let’s face it, many females have just started to drop the bombs and blow up airports because I didn’t say they didn’t look attractive and important for me to jack off to them. So you know…they think looks is everything in life…and you know what…they’re right…when they make a big deal out of it of course.
But, as I was saying, during my school days, she always did have the looks for me and stuff like that, but we never really went anywhere with it other than taking her to a dance or two or maybe going out on a date or something like that.
But I can’t blame her for not wanting to date me, I mean come on, I seemed to always have a way with the ladies, but I just never gave a fuck to actually care about it because I wasn’t interested in that type of love. And I still stick to it, even if people still demand a circular object to be put around one’s finger or hoof or whatever to symbolize that you love someone.
Because a circular object, more particularly a ring, pretty much says you love someone…a fucking circle says it. A circle symbolizes that you love someone and stuff. This is why most people fail in life. But then again, who the fuck cares?
Anyways, I then said to her, “Yeah, not going to happen, I’m moving away.”
She then had wide eyes and had a gaping mouth…a gapping mouth that Wolf so wanted to have his wooden dick in because…he too had the hots for her.
Well, she then asked me, “What!? Where? When? And who’s making you move?”
I then said back to her, “Yeah, I know, sad right? Well, I’m moving to a small town called Stalia tomorrow and Celestia and Luna are making me move there.”
She then thought for a moment and was silent. Me and Wolf just stared at her, as she moved her head, thinking about what to say next. It looked like she was a bit worried as well.
Then, she broke the silence and finally asked, “Do you think…I can come along with you?”
I then said to her, “Possibly not. Not if you want to stay in school that is. Chances are, you will have to sacrifice your education if you want to move with me.”
She then blurted out as soon as she could, “I’ll do it then! I’ll quit school, I’ll move in with you until I can get a job there and get a place of my own!”
I then said to her, as she was starting to tear up a bit, “No you’re not Snuggles. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no. Look, I know we’re close friends and all and the only other friends you seem to have had is the twins, but you shouldn’t abandon your education just for a friend. Friends come and go, that’s just how life works Snuggles.
‘We all go through that where we meet a friend that we like or love so much, that we keep the memories of each other in our hearts. And when the time comes when they go away, either they move or in death, we continue to keep them in our hearts as if they never left. And that’s how it should be, don’t be sad that the memories are over, be happy that it happened.”
By the way, before the ‘good’ U.S. Of A. Comes crashing down my door with a bunch of legal fees, that last line was a quote from someone, why am I mention it even though I’m in Equestria and no one can basically touch me? Well, I know some people will complain and make a second 9/11.
So anyways, Snuggles then started to cry a bit as she hung her head down low, crying a bit. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to disturb her. However, she then raised her head and looked at me and then she put her right hoof around me and said, “I understand Knight. I’ll…miss you Knight.”
I then told her while I slowly put her hoof down, “Save your goodbyes for tonight Snuggles. Me and the other guys are going to have a little goodbye party at the hill. You can cry and say goodbye there.”
She then looked up at me and slowly smiled and said, “Thank you Knight. I’ll be there tonight.”
I then nodded and then me and Wolf exited her room.
As we were walking down the hallway, Wolf said, “She would do a great blow job on my cock.”
I then said to him, “Shut up Wolf.”
Then we headed down the hallway and down the stairs where Snuggles dragged me up from. Also, I should note before any other people complain and burn people’s houses down and start a black riot that I know you’re all just being introduced to these ponies that I’ve met, and I’m willing to bet you some dumb fucks out there are expecting to feel some sort of feeling towards them, like when I had just wrote that Snuggles was crying for me and begging for me not to leave.
I’m willing to bet someone is saying that they just met the pony or that I described, and not feeling any emotion…well like no shit Sherlock, this isn’t the part where I explain what happened during my school days at that school, that part comes later when I actually care and you all can actually care, along with the fact that it really doesn’t matter what happened because what has that school ever done for me?
Well the answer is none since you have no idea what happened there, but like I said, absolutely nothing. I thought I put that out there before a Black Riot and a Yellow riot collides and World War Asian happens.
Anyways, Wolf and I were heading down the steps and were about to exit through the front doors, when suddenly, right when we got to ten feet to the doors, the twins that I had mentioned came right in front of us and stopped us in our tracks and both twins said In unison with a sad face, “Is it true that you’re leaving!?”
We were then startled and we fell to the floor on our backs. Now let me introduce you to the twins, that you will not feel any emotions to whatsoever because, like I said, this isn’t the part where you’re supposed to actually care, or at least I try to make you care anyways, but really who cares?
And yes I know I just said it not too long ago, but remember there’s always dumbasses in every universe, so depending on whose reading it, they might have already forgotten what I had just said because they only have enough brain cells to wipe their asshole and not get killed in the world, but apparently not enough to remember what I had just a few seconds ago.
Now as I was saying, these were the twins. They were both mares, and they both looked alike with the same cutie marks and such. The only difference between the both of them were they’re eye color.
Now the twins were named Razzle and Dazzle. Now why those two names, I have no idea other than they rhyme…and rhyming is cool. Like a cool cat that says no to crossing a street without looking both ways, but then five seconds later, darting across the street without looking both ways…it’s cool like that.
Well, they both had the color coat of pink, had a cutie marks of hair because their talents were being hairdressers…you know…do some hair and stuff like that. They also both had manes that were like Snuggle’s mane, but shorter and the color was green and black.
As for the eye colors, Razzle had a red color and Dazzle had a blue color. And they were also friends of Snuggles, but other than that, Snuggles didn’t really have any other friends. So I also knew the twins as well.
Anyways, after me and Wolf fell down, we got ourselves up, and Wolf then said to the twins, “Ow…that hurts every time when they come out of nowhere. You two need to at least warn us before you do that.”
The two twins then looked at each other, then back to us, and then they both said, which they always talk in unison I should say…as they are always together, “We’re sorry. But is it true Knight? Are you really leaving?”
I then told them, “Yeah…who did you get that from?”
I asked that because they were not really friends of my bro friends or anything like that. Sure, they knew them, but didn’t really hang out though. Anyways, they then told me, “Everypony in school is talking about it.”
I then had a curious look on my face and then asked, “Everyone?”
Wolf then said to me, as I turned my head to look at him while he was talking…because that would be very rude not to, “Well this is sort of college, kids drink, become stupid, do drugs, and rumors go around…what do you expect?”
I then told him, “Well…in a school…information does travel fast.”
I then looked back at the twins and then I said to them, “So yes, I’m leaving the school tomorrow.”
Then the Razzle and Dazzle started to tear up and looked like they wanted to cry a lot and hug one another…and then a porno is made. Hey, to some guy, two crying hot chicks that are hugging each other is hot to some guys…and it has the potential for those two chicks to make out and do it.
To some guys that is, but I then continued to say to them, “Now don’t cry you two. I know how it gets when you two cry like in the past. So before we get into a deep conversation that is not really that deep, there will be a little going away party on the hill that you two know of. You can save your tears and goodbyes for me then, but now please get out of my face so I may go outside and get some sleep under a nice tree somewhere.”
Wolf then looked a bit confused at me and he then asked, “We were going to do that? When did you say this?”
I then said to Wolf, “Please shut the fuck up Wolf…please shut up.”
The twins then looked at each other for a while in silence, and as they’re tears slowly dried up on their faces, they then looked at me and said, “Alright Knight…we’ll see you there.”
They then walked away and we were finally able to use the doors and stuff. We walked outside, the sun still in the sky with every other pony going to their classes.
The friends that I had were gone and I then said to Wolf while we were walking to the back of the school, sort of near my room…tower…thingy, “Alright then Wolf, I feel tired so I’m going to find a tree to sleep under. You however can go nuts and do whatever you want.”
Wolf then told me, “Even burning and skinning alive all the animals that are on campus?”
I then told him, “Sure…but don’t fuck them though. And actually give a legit reason why you did it, not like last time where we had to kill thirty witnesses and feed them to a plant that kept saying ‘feed me’, in which case he was black, so he ended up getting arrested by a random cop that I had no idea that was nearby and they put crack in his home, so they arrested him. And chances are, that plant is in prison now, being raped and doing something called the ‘dirty snow.”
Wolf then said, “Awwww….but I want to fuck them.”
I then said, “Well you can either burn and skin the animals alive or you don’t do it at all.”
Then Wolf said to me, as we were coming up to a tree that I saw that was nice to sit under that was near my room…tower thingy, seriously, I have no other words for it, “You’re no fun.”
I then said to him as a response, “And you’re an asshole.”
I sat down under a shady tree…that may or may not have committed a crime because it also looked sinister.
I then sat under the tree and pulled my hat over my eyes and started to drift away, but then Wolf blurted out and asked me while my hat was still over my eyes, “So…can I look at those files?”
I then told him, “It’s back in the room. Just make sure you don’t kill anyone with it.”
I then heard Wolf go away and I slowly drifted to sleep. And I then dreamed about…well I can’t recall what I dreamt about that day, I mean we all don’t recall what we dream about.
Although I vaguely recall something about the night sky though…something being under that on the clouds, but that’s all I can recall though.
Anyways, I eventually woke up an hour later, and Wolf was sitting near me, looking at the files.
I straighten out my black hat and I then said to Wolf while slowly getting up, “So, did you find anything else in there that interests you?”
Wolf then told me, “No, not really. It sounds like it’s going to be a fun time with these ponies.”
And I then said while I was picking up the files with my magic so I could put it away back in the room, “Yeah and chances are you would become an asshole to them as well. But I can’t blame you, you’re made out of wood and magic…well I’m guessing you’re part magic. What are you anyways Wolf?”
Wolf then shrugged to me, and that makes sense because I have no clue to what he was. In fact, he was smaller than the average timber wolves, so he was special in a way. It always made me wonder why Wolf was not like the other timber wolves, but I suppose that’s why we became friends, because he was different, and I do believe that says something…that no one cares and our relationship is questionable.
But in the end, Wolf was just Wolf, and we were buddies till the end. Well, I then headed back to my room, but Wolf didn’t follow, I put the files on my desk, out in the open..but don’t worry, nothing happens, and I went back down.
I then said to Wolf while we were heading into the school building, “Let’s go get some lunch Wolf.”
And then we headed into the cafeteria of the school…what? Well it was lunch time. I’m sure that dialogue that I said to Wolf that day might not been so good, because I’m sure people are already giving this .5/10 because of that bad dialogue.
But I’m just saying what is true…and once that day, I said it was fucking lunch time…so you and all the evil chicken nugget Nazis can go fuck yourselves, why? Well…lunch time is lunch time, and when it’s lunch time, well you just got to eat. What’s my point? Just shut up, that’s my point.
Now, we headed to the cafeteria and we grabbed our lunch trays and went down the line for the food. We just had what every pony would usually have…pony food…you know…either something that is sweet, it’ll give you diabetes, anything that is not meat, or something to do with hay. I mean it’s like how it was on the show, if it didn’t have meat or could give you diabetes, they would eat it. That or hay because everyone likes a good horse joke every now and then…like a horse and a bar joke, but I’ll save that joke for another day though.
Anyways, we grabbed our meals and we headed to a lunch table that me and the other guys would sit at every day. It was in the middle of the room as well to be specific and so no one becomes a whining bitch about what the specifics were. Well, the table was a circle, so we sat where we could, because honestly it didn’t really matter, it’s a fucking circle.
Well, My friends were already there…all of them, my bro friends, brother and sister friends, twins, and Snuggles. Well, I sat next to Promptos while Wolf sat next to Razzle.
Gladio then said as we sat down, “How’s your day so far guys?”
I then said, “Ok, it’s nothing special, but it’s decent. You?”
Ig then spoke up, “School, as usual…this is a school you know.”
I then said to him, “No reason to be a smart ass, but ok then. So, Starlight, clever, your day?”
Clever then said, “Well my little sis is always getting into trouble as usual.”
Then Starlight said to Clever, “Well this school is sometimes boring, I thought I would make it actually fun for once”
I then looked towards Snuggles and I asked, “Snuggles?”
She then told me, “So far, I’ve had a good day, but my I’m having a rough time in my Algebra class though.”
I then told her, “Well, at least you won’t really have to use it much in life.”
I then looked over to the twins, but I didn’t have to say anything and they blurted out with smiles on their faces, “We’re having a good day!”
I was then startled by that and I kind of was pushed off my seat a little bit because of that, in which case I then asked myself, “Why haven’t I gotten used to that yet?”
I then said as I looked at everyone and then said, “Well, I just wanted to say this to you all, I know I’m leaving and we can all say out goodbyes later tonight at the hill, but I thought a little bit on the way over here…to lunch of course, that maybe Wolf and I could spend a little time with all and hang out. Just for a little bit of course. So how does that sound, hang out one last time?”
They all then nodded, but then Wolf said, “You have to go alone Knight. I’ve got to try and win that bet.”
I then looked at him and said, “Alright then Wolf, suit yourself you heartless bastard.”
Wolf then said to me with a smirk, “I’m only a heartless bastard when I’m jacking off.”
I then told him, I then rolled my eyes at him and started to eat my lunch. Also, I know that my bro friends and the two siblings knew I was going to spend time with them already, but to make it clear before everyone starts shitting their pants and bitch, Snuggles and the twins didn’t know.
After a while, another friend…although not really though since I never hanged out with him. So really, he is more or less of a guy that I know that I would say is a friendly, but not so much of a friend.
It’s just that one guy that you know that could help you out sort of speak. So he came over to the table and his name was Bright Swing...again…not sure why the name, but there you go.
And the reason why he was called Bright, was because he was the nerd that you would know, the tech guy, the geek, the one that you would embarrass, the one that you would call gay, the one that you would have sexual fantasies of, whatever you called him, he was that type of guy.
Well, as far as Bright looked like, he wore the nerdy type of glasses, his coat color was a light blue with a dark blue for the mane color. He also always wore a vest that was brown, but other than that, that was about it as far as he looked like.
His cutie mark of course was of calculator, as he was good with math and shit like that, but he could do much more than that though. Well, he walked up to the table and kind of squeezed in as he didn’t really sit at the table with us normally.
He then said to everyone, “Hey guys, how is it going? Can I ask does anypony have a screwdriver I could borrow?”
Everyone then looked at him, wondering why ask for a screwdriver at that very moment.
Ig then spoke up and told him, “You do realize this is lunch time right? No one normally carries a screwdriver with them. What do you need a screwdriver for anyway at this time?”
Bright then explained, “Well you see, I’m working on a new device that will project a electronic pulse throughout the school. If my theory is correct, it will pretty much mess up anything that has to deal with technology within the school’s limits. Oh and, you possibly all would want to try and take anything that runs on electricity out of the school area if you know what I’m saying of course.”
Galdio then said, “Yeah, thanks for the obvious tip Bright…why are you doing that anyway?”
Bright then explained, “I’m doing it because last week, some ass wipes broke into my room and stole a few things. I was able to track them down, but when I tried to get my things back, well they just made me ‘beat the lizard’ in front of them and made me eat what came out of it while they jerked off.”
I then said to him, “You mean jerking off and eating your own cum? that sounds kind of gay...”
Bright then said to me right after giving a slight sigh, “Yes, if you want to put it that way. I think they have problems”
I then asked him, "Could you have run away or something?"
He then said to me, "Not really, they said they would slit my throat if I didn't do what they told me to do."
Knight then said, “Well it’s alright, Wolf here is kind of a kink and jerks off and eat his own cum some of the time when he is drunk and is doing it with some crazy bitch… and I’m not sure why he does it either. I think it's because he likes being dominated some of the time.”
Then the twins had a bit of disgusted faces on and both said, “Ewwwwwwww…”
I then told them, “Well apparently according to Wolf, it’s not too bad, at first, but then it goes downhill from there quickly, but yet he continues to do it, so I don’t know why. I think he likes being degraded and embarrassed in a sexual kinky way.”
And Wolf just sat there and didn’t even mention why he does that kind of stuff.
Bright then spoke up and said, “Well, to me it was awful…just awful. Especially afterwards, I ended up crying myself to sleep because of it. It made myself feel disgusted, I just wanted to forget abut the whole thing afterwards. I mean what was wrong with them?”
Then Snuggles said to him, “Awwww….you poor thing.”
I then said to Bright, "I think those guys have some real gay repression problems. I think the best thing to do is go over there and whip out an AK on them. An Apple Knife... and act all tough guy like on them."
Then Bright said with a bit of a smile on his face, “Thanks, but there’s no need to worry now. I’m going to get back at them for making me eat my own cum by destroying their electronics, and I have also learned that the lights and everything will go out as well, so that means if I do it at the right time, I can go into their rooms at night, take back my things, and watch them cry over their things being destroyed. Also, does anypony here would like to come along with me when I do it and possibly even throw a few punches at them, since I am weak and all.”
Galdio then raised his hoof up and said, “I’m always up for a good fight.”
Then Bright said, “Good, I’ll see you in three days, make sure you’re not followed. Although I still need a screwdriver.”
Bright then looked towards my direction and he then asked me, “Knight, I know you always working on things in your room, do you think you can go get your screwdriver so I can borrow it for a moment? Perhaps actually the entire day, I’ll promise I’ll give it to you tomorrow, I just might need it to make sure I have everything working.”
I then told him, “Sorry, I’ll be packing things up because I’m leaving tomorrow.”
He then had a surprised look on his face and asked me, “Where are you going?”
I then told him, “I’m going to a small town called Stalia. Celestia and Luna wants me to go there because of ‘reasons’ so I have no choice but to go. I’ll be leaving most likely first thing tomorrow morning, so I wouldn’t see you again, so if you want to Bright, you can come to a little get together tonight we’re having on the nearby hill to say our last goodbyes.”
Then bright said, “Sorry, can’t come tonight. I’ll be too busy working on that electronic pulse machine all night, but I’ll miss you though Knight…and good luck out there. This world is a very scary place sometimes…and it can be very, very dangerous. So goodbye Knight and have a good rest of your life, since chances are I’ll never see you again.”
I then said to him, “Goodbye too. You helped out a lot in the past.”
He then nodded his head and went back to wherever he was at in the first place.
I then looked at my bro friends and said, “Alright then, I suppose I’ll start with you guys, got anything in mind that we could do?”
Gladio then looked at himm and said, “I’ve got just the thing. Meet us near the entrance to the Forbidden Forest, and of course bring your guns as well.”
I then told him, “Alright then.”
Then everyone started to get up and such, while me and Wolf were still at the table.
I then looked at Wolf and said to him, “Alright then, you go ahead and do your thing you weird ass piece of shit wood.”
I then got up without another word to each other and we went our separate ways. I took my lunch tray to the area where I would put it away as usual, and then I headed out the doors to outside, went around the school until I saw the tower, climbed the steps, went into my room, grabbed a few guns that I had hidden around the place, just hand guns to be specific, and closed the door on my way out.
Reason why I didn’t go into great detail is because that would be a fucking huge waste of time to explain every little detail that was basically common sense at this point. I know some people out there are already out on the streets causing havoc and millions are already dead with their children crying and wondering what is happening, but I assure you, you either waste time reading something that doesn’t really need to be explained since it has nothing to do with this part of my life at all, or you shut the fuck up and enjoy it…either way you’re going to complain either way.
Why? Because that’s just what people are…or humans for that matter. It’s like cutting out a hole in some human body while they’re asleep and putting your dick through that hole, basically raping that hole you punctured on that human body. Then cumming inside that hole while blood is spilling out…and doing the exact same thing to a baby.
It’s like that…somehow and some way. Possibly in another universe. Anyways, I went down from the tower and pretty much away from the tower lied an area that wasn’t occupied. Not towards the school, but the opposite direction of the school.
Try to imagine it, although I know most of you people either has very little imagination or none at all…because you don’t have a brain…instead it’s up your ass…and you shit on your brain every time you go to take a shit. Then it stinks and you end up putting a toilet plunger up your butt to clean your brain because it’s up your asshole…same thing for your balls, your balls are up there too because someone put it there so every time you took a shit, you would shit balls because you had no balls. What was I talking about? Oh yes, the direction that I was talking about was pretty much an area where there was an abandoned school building, pretty much an abandoned dorm building for that matter. And beyond that was the Forbidden Forest.
Now what made it so forbidden you might ask? Well, you see…no one really gave a fuck about it, no one questioned it, it was just forbidden…no really, that’s the truth. I don’t even question it either, but what I do question is why does it seem to me that it’s in every dungeon and dragon games or anything to deal with fantasy? Then again that’s what makes it so special…because it’s forbidden, and clearly breaking the rules is fun in a way. Anyways, I headed towards the abandoned buildings and went past that eventually, it didn’t take long as it wasn’t too far out. I then went ahead went near the entrance to the Forbidden Forest, and yes, there was an entrance, pathway, to the Forbidden Forest.
Now why was there a path to something that was forbidden, like I said, I have no clue, but it sounds awesome nonetheless. Well, as I saw the entrance, I saw my bro friends waiting for me there. They all looked like they were ready for a fight, so was I as I had my guns and shit like that in my satchel and ready to go if you know what I’m saying.
I eventually got to them and I then said to them, “So, I’m guessing we’re going to fight random things thing within the forest? Just like the good ol’ days…or in other words a few months ago?”
Gladio then said, “Close, we’re fighting off the giant spiders in there.”
Ig then spoke up, “May I ask why are we even doing this in the first place? It sounds incredibly stupid to me to even do this. What purpose other than spending time with Knight does this particular activity have?”
Gladio then said, “Well first, it’s to have some fun with Knight. Second, the giant spiders have somewhat been starting to get annoying around here lately, so it helps the school a little bit?”
Ig then asked, “How is this even remotely fun?”
Then Promptos then said, “Well it sure beats being in class.”
Ig then responded with, “Yes, but with class, you actually learning something that may or may not help you in the near future. Here, all this does is teach you how to be suicidal. Besides, I’m not the one for skipping class usually.”
Promptos then said, “Oh come on Ig. You know you like to fight with us. We had some good times in the past right buddy?”
Ig then said, “Yes, I suppose you’re right on that, it was fun fighting alongside you all in memory’s past. But that’s only WITH you. Nothing else other than that is all I need to say. Now let’s get going and get this over with then, I rather be back in class as soon as possible.”
Promptos then said, “That’s the spirit.”
And then we all went into the Forbidden Forest to fight off the giant spiders, and I should also mention the giant spiders were led by the king of the giant spiders.
Yeah, and to also make note, we weren’t friends neither, so yeah…there you go. However, they had a little kingdom within the forest, so we just went ahead and decided to go to their kingdom. I should also mention that while I had my guns, Gladio had a big ass sword, since he was the strongest one in the group. Ig had guns as well that I made for him, but that’s because he was interested in them, but they were smaller guns, but did pack a punch though. As for Promtos, he carried small and swift blades.
Anyways, we just followed through the path into the forest. The forest itself was dark and gloomy with a foggy atmosphere in certain spots. The trees were old and were writhing away slowly, while the grass was dead within and the stone path leading into the forest was slowly breaking up piece by piece.
However, this broken path would eventually lead us into the giant spider kingdom. Well, about twenty minutes walking in, we made into the giant spider kingdom…and all the kingdom was just a big giant circle.
Like the whole area was just a giant circle, and on the edge of the area were homes of the giant spider, while in the center of said circle was the throne of the giant spider king. Now how big was the area…really I’m not sure and no one cares except for those ‘type’ of people.
In which case those type of problems with circles, in which case…you need help. Anyways, we walked into the circle as a group, carrying our weapons, while giant spiders were all watching us within their own homes and basically circling around us.
As for the throne, it was empty…until we came very close, then all of sudden, behind the throne came the king and slowly crawled into his seat. He then looked at us with his big crown on his head while all the other giant spiders were surrounding us.
The king then asked in a very sinister, low type of voice, “What are you doing here? I thought we told you that if you were to ever step a single hoof in our territory ever again, you will be killed and eaten.”
Galdio then said, “Yes well, lately your loyal subjects have become a pain in the ass lately, and we thought we would come here and kill a few of your subjects, sort of making an example out of them before the problem continues. So, if you don’t mind, we would like to get to some killing now.”
Then the king said, “So it’s killing that you want eh? Well if you want to kill, then you shall have what you ask for.”
Then all the giant spider started to close around us and pretty much saying that they were going to kill us if we didn’t do something real quick. Ig then said as we all put our backs to each other, “Why must you always open your big mouth Galdio?”
Then Galdio said, “Well sometimes my big mouth has a mind of its own. And besides, it’s fun.”
Then Promptos said, “Uhhh….sometime it isn’t fun. I mean we are surrounded by giant…”
I then cut Promptos off and said, “Just shut up and kill these mother fuckers already.”
And then we separated from each other and we fought. Now to go into some sort of detail before heads explode, I was using my guns. They were spiders and such, so I ended up just shooting them all down in the head, it was easy actually.
Granted with hooves, it’s a bit challenging, but once you get some practice in, it’s easy as pie to use guns with hooves actually. It’s a bit odd, but it still works though. As for anything else that happened to me while fighting them off, not much else other than getting a bit dirty of course.
I mean surely the spider guts would get on me a little bit, but it wasn’t anything noticeable though. Just the color of green stuff…you know…like whatever spiders have for their blood.
Anyway, as for Gladio, he was moving around a lot, since he was carrying and using a big sword after all. Granted, it slowed him down a bit every time he swung the sword, but it did the job while killing three or four spider at once.
He was actually quite decently fast with it, but like I said before, he’s the strong one in the group. As for Promptos, he was the quickest one and fastest moving around.
He was just using the small, but deadly knives as fast as he could and killed a lot of them within just a few seconds of fighting. As for Ig, as I said, he had small guns, so he was just like me, except he moved around a lot more than I did, like moving onto tree branches and what not and dogging attacks. Other than that, nothing else to really note.
After a while, we eventually had piles of dead spider bodies and such. Granted, that doesn’t mean all the spiders were gone, there were surely plenty deep within the forest, just not around where we were of course.
After we pretty much slaughtered the entire community of the giant spiders, the king was the last reaming one and we all went in front of his throne and looked at him with smiles on our faces.
He then said to us as we just stood there, “I see…you just killed all of my subjects. Well then…well played then. I’ll leave then, I won’t bring any others here either like last time, I’ll just leave like you want me to. But just remember one day you will also fall as well. Good day to you all.”
And then he left…wow…what a deep spider. Although he did made a valid point, one day we will fall…either metaphorically or physically, we all fall in some sort of way one day. Anyways, he just left and went deeper into the forest and never came back.
So after he left, I then looked at the group and said, “That was fun…definitely reminded me of old times. Well…this was fun…I’ll be going now. You sick fucks can do whatever you want with the bodies now. I’ll won’t tell on you guys.”
I then started to walk back towards the entrance to the Forbidden Forest to go back to the school.
As I was walking away from my bro friends, Ig said to me in a sarcastic tone, “Oh ha ha Knight…your jokes are very funny. But dang it to hell, I’ll miss you.”
I then told him, “Save it for tonight Ig.”
And then I didn’t hear them again. So I just walked until I got out of the forest and such. Eventually I made it out and the sun was high in the sky, so I decided to go and visit Starlight and her brother.
I had figured they would be in their dorm room together, as they were pretty much the only exception for having a female and a male in the same room together, since it’s usually separated by genders, but whatever.
I eventually made it back to the school, no problem at all and such. While I was walking towards the entrance of the building, I saw Wolf going around to every mare he could find and he seemed to be worried and not everything was working out for him. I didn’t say anything to him as he didn’t notice me walk by, but that’s Wolf for you though.
Well I opened the door and went through it with my magic of course, went up the right sets of stairs, the opposite of the one that I was dragged up earlier on, and took a right. I then went down the hall and on the third door on my left, I knocked on the door.
Soon, Starlight opened it up and she saw me and looked at me with her somewhat lifeless eyes, those eyes that says, ‘I don’t care anymore. Society has given up on me so I rather be dead. You don’t understand my pain so I’m going to do something that is crazy and cut myself. I’ll end up doing it with that one thing that you play a violin with, in which case I’ll make amazing music and then I’ll be famous…that’ll show society they don’t understand me at all.’
Yeah…that type of look.
Well, she was also chewing some bubble gum as well and she then asked me, “What do you want Knight?”
I then said to her, “Well I am here to spend a little time with you aren’t I?”
She then said, “Yeah, but what are we going to do together then?”
We were then silent for a few seconds, until I thought up an idea and then said, “Maybe you could try to teach me how to play the electric guitar again. I still suck at it and maybe this time around I can actually play it.”
She then rolled her eyes at me and then she opened the door. In which case, I saw Clever on his bed reading a book.
Starlight then said to me, “Come on in then.”
I then went into the room and the room was fairly small. They had stuff all over the floor like their cloths and what not…I think it was cloths anyway. Well after I went into the room, she closed the door and then walked towards her bed.
She then sat down and grabbed her guitar that was near the foot of her bed and held it with a firm grip I guess with her hooves. She then looked at me and told me to sit down in a chair that was nearby the foot of the bed with her eyes. In which case, I did so and waited for her to start the basic lesson. Well she then looked down at her guitar and then struck a chord.
I’m not sure which because I still suck at guitar. Well, she then said to me, “Alright then Knight, since this is the last time you’ll be around, I’ll give you one more shot on how to play the guitar. Now, first what you need to do is tune up your instrument. You need to also memorize the notes as well and know how to read them and…”
I then blocked her own thoughts with…nothing. I actually wasn’t paying attention to her and blanked out, like I wasn’t hearing anything, not even my own thoughts. Why that happened?
I’m not sure why other than perhaps what she was saying was boring to me, in which case I just blocked her out. Eventually, she stopped talking and looked at me as if I had any other questions to ask.
I then said to her, “Alright then, this should be easy then.”
She then gave me the guitar to me and said while doing so, “Right, just like the last twenty-one times you messed up my guitar while doing so.” I then told her, “Relax, I’ve got this in the bag.”
FIVE MINUTES LATER:
The door opened to her room and I was quickly shoved out of her room. She then had an angered look in her eyes and looked at me when I was out of my room while looking into hers.
She then said to me, “You fucking idiot! How can you fuck that up so quickly!?”
I then gave her a slight shrug, in which case she responded with, “You fucking owe me a new guitar Knight!”
She then slammed the door on me, in which case I then said back, “I’ll see you later tonight!”
I then decided it was time to see Snuggles and the twins. I headed back the same way I came, and as I was doing so, I look out the window when I got down to the first floor and saw Celestia’s bright, orange sun slowly going down. I also saw Wolf still out and about outside, trying to bang a mare.
However, he wasn’t having any luck. Now, with Wolf, he was the sex addict guy, and I’m sure he would even make a stage show called “Porn: Live on stage.”
And like, he would advertise it to be on a Sunday, so the Christian religion people could relate and go to the said show. Then the show would take place in an opera hall, with everyone dressed up nicely. Then, the show would begin, have a guy talk in Shakespeare talk, and then open up the show.
And then it would show two people fucking live on stage with no music whatsoever, with just the people watching it. And then the last act is a blow job, along with a musical number…then all the critics would give it…ten out of ten. Yup, and Wolf would be behind it all…because he was that type of guy who also does the sex.
That and he was an asshole at times, so he really did fit in at school Why did I just say that? Because it’s fucking relatable, that’s why, now you all can relate because you like to fucking relate to certain things, and that’s basically how human beings are.
Now why bring that up? I have no fucking clue other than the whole sex thing can also relate to me seeing Snuggles because I did say Wolf wanted to do her and stuff. So actually, in a weird way, what I just said was incredibly smart and relatable. So…yeah.
Anyways, I then headed towards a set of doors to get into the center of the school. From there, there were three ways to go into different areas of the school. Now of course I should also describe the place as the floors were all white tiles and very shiny, as it was also kept and such with a chandelier hanging down from the ceiling as well with lights on the wall. That’s a bit of a description so no one whines like a little bitch.
Now, as I said, there were three hall ways and I just kept going forward. In which case, I kept going down until the end of the hallway, there was a left and right turn, but there was also a set of two doors in the center of the intersection…like…on the wall of course.
You know what I mean, although I’m sure some human idiot will misinterpret that part and say it’s a floating ghost door or something. Anyways, the doors led to the salon area of the school, as it is used for teaching and if possible, an actual salon. Do not ask why, but whatever.
Well, I walked through the door and the room was a typical salon area, with the seats and the sinks for washing the hair and such. The smell inside was quite pleasant, as it was a salon after all. Although there wasn’t anyone inside at all except for Snuggles and the twins. They were talking when I had walked in, and when they heard the door opened, they turned their heads towards in my direction.
They had smiles on their faces and Snuggles said to me, “Oh hey Knight. Came here to spend a little time with us?”
I then said, “Yeah, and perhaps getting a little mane cut while I’m at it.”
I had closed the door behind me while I was saying that with a bit of a smirk on my face, but this smirk was more truthful then what I would give to Celestia or Luna or the others from the show that we all know by heart. I had my mane cut and groomed here by the twins plenty of times before, and honestly, it felt really nice.
In fact, I’m willing to say it was more nice than going to a barbershop. Although both always did have their perks. With a salon, it’s always nice and peaceful. With a barbershop, depending on where you go, it can be sometimes cool to hang out with the guys…like all those funny black people that go to one.
I know I’ve been to one several times back on Earth…and they were all black…and that made me not a racist at all. That and it made me look cool, because we all know that if you have a black friend, it makes you look cool…and possibly a badass if you fight side by side. I mean why not you know? But as far as a salon goes, I would prefer the peace of a salon compared to a barbershop.
And besides, it was comforting what they always did with my mane, wash it, using particular hair products, styling it if I ever felt like I didn’t care anymore and turned to be a hipster…which I’m not, and just overall good. The only downside to it all, the price is like getting sued by an old lady that you ran over and getting sued up the ass.
But thankfully I knew the twins and they were my friends and they always gave me one for free, as they did made a little money on the side during their school days with their salon skills.
Granted, it’s not like they made a lot of money, but a decent amount to say it was an actual job.
Anyways, Snuggles then said to me, “The twins would be happy to give you another haircut Knight. Just sit right here and they will do all the work.”
And so I took off my hat and put it on an empty chair as I was walking towards the spot, along with my good satchel and sat in the spot…and yes… the spot was just the floor. Well it’s not like they sit in chairs that often. Well, the twins then started to work on my hair and…well there’s not much to say really.
I mean they washed my hair with warm water while putting a particular type of shampoo into my mane, along with giving my mane a little trim and styling it a bit in certain spots. But that’s all there is to go into details with, as all we did was look upon and talk about of memories past.
We laughed at what we had done in the school years ago and just sat there and talked about the good ol’ days that are sadly gone. I mean, even the twins talked and such, which of course as usual, they blurted it out and I got scared and jumped a little.
But other than that, there’s not much detail to go into, but of course what we talked about is of the memories. Now I could go into those details, but that would ruin the fun when I do get to the part about my school days, so really it’s basically not giving you any spoilers if I don’t talk about it. Well, afterwards, they were finished with my hair and I looked into the mirror and I touched it and ran through it with my right hoof.
I then said to her, “Well, that was a great trim. I’ll sure miss you and the twins Snuggles.”
She then looked at me, as I looked at her and she said, “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other one day again, we’re friends, and we will always will be friends, even if we’re miles apart. We will always be friends in our hearts. And one day, we will see each other again Knight.”
We all smiled, even the twins, and I then said as I got up to get my hat and satchel, “Well, that’s the problem. It’s ‘one day.’ That means the troubling part is that I have to wait.”
Snuggle’s giggled a little bit and we smiled, I mean we were good friends after all.
She then told me as I was walking out the door, “I’ll see you on the hill Knight.”
I then left without another word and then headed back to my room. Of course I traced my steps again and went out the front doors as usual and headed around back to the school and went to the tower. The sun was almost set and Luna’s moon looked like it was ready to rise and conquer the sky.
As I went up to the room, I slowly started to see the stars form across the sky, ending a somewhat, but not really perfect day. I then get into my room and Wolf looked like he was depressed, as he was lying on my bed, with a sad face.
I then asked him, “What’s wrong Wolf?”
Wolf then told me with his still frown face on, “I lost the bet Knight.”
And then I asked him, “And you went to Celestia then?”
Wolf then said, “Of fucking course Knight, why do you think I’m sad as shit right now. I had to listen to Celestia lecture about my kind for hours!”
I then told him, “It’s just getting dark Wolf.”
Wolf then said, “Well it fucking felt like hours! Now come on, I need a fucking beer.”
Wolf then got off the bed as he said that and walked towards the door to get to the hill. I then quickly took a few bits that I had lying around on my desk, yes I’m that stupid, but it’s not like I have a wallet…but I do have my satchel though…but it was reserved for other stuff. Anyways, I took the bits to repay back Starlight of course.
I wouldn’t want her to haunt me forever with repaying her, because she could be scary sometimes. I mean, I wouldn’t her to haunt me like invading my Skype…if I had one that is, and she haunts me and a few others and we have to play a game or else we die. And then weird stuff happens and then you question whether or not it was stupid or clever for the rest of your miserable life.
Anyways, I then grabbed the bits, put it in my satchel, and went downstairs while closing the door behind me of course. And yes, I put it in my satchel, where else? And besides, it was only for a few minutes. Wolf wasn’t near and I had guessed he had gotten a good head start. Well, I headed down the spiraling steps and onto the nice green, soft grass. I then headed west, where everything was weird.
I mean in the west, everything is weird, you either get high or die. Anyways, I then went far west. It was still near the school, but a far enough distance to where the school can still be seen far into the distance.
The land was pretty much flat until I saw a little bonfire on the hill they were mentioning about all day and such. The hill wasn’t that steep also, it was climbable, but it certainly jutted out among the rest of the flat land obviously. I should also mention why this hill, because I’m sure some people that’s too busy stabbing someone to death because of the chaos and destruction that the people are causing because I didn’t explain why me and my friends were going to a hill to say our last goodbyes to each other.
You know…those types of people, who assume that I will never explain everything, granted they’re halfway right. I mean I’m going to explain everything in detail, but I’m not going to spend the entire night writing this entry into my journal with five hundred pages that describes what it feels to touch a warm blanket that’s around me while sitting in a chair. No, I’m not going to do that, but every other critic wants that though, as it would create ‘imagery’ and ‘realism.’
Well, as for the hill, it was special amongst us ten…eleven if you counted that one nerd guy, but not really though. We would sometimes hang out at night, to just talk and have fun. Sometimes we would talk until the sun would rise or we would sleep there. It was a nice thing to do and to get away from the school and go someplace else that was special. Not even Celestia or Luna knew about that place, which made it even more special, as it made it look like it as if it was our own secret spot…even though it’s not really a secret, as it is out in the open and on a hill that many could see from a certain spot.
But whatever, it felt special though at least. Granted not everyone would come to the spot all the time at once, but still, it was nice. And we had done this many times in the past as well. So it was nice to say goodbye to my friends at that spot.
In fact, I haven’t been to that spot in so long as the many years have gone by as I am writing this to you. It seems like it was long ago, but yet, it so clear in my head if it had just happened yesterday. Oh well, that’s time for you, time can be a blessing and a curse.
Anyways, I went and climbed the hill and my friends saw me coming.
I got to the top with ease and when I did, Promptos said while holding his beer high in the sky, “Hey Knight! Welcome to your going away party!”
He smiled, along with everyone else there, as I did too. Everyone was there of course, even Wolf as I did mention he did get a head start. Wolf was sitting next to Promptos.
My bro friends were there, sitting side by side. Then the two siblings were sitting next to each other as brother and sister right next to Gladio. Then after that the twins were sitting next to Starlight. Then Snuggles was near me when I had climbed up to the hill and it seemed that she had saved me a spot to sit next to her. So yeah, that’s a way to describe the sitting order around the bon fire, as the bon fire was just a bunch of pile of sticks that was on fire.
It was warm of course and gave a nice glow in the darkness of the night. Although the night sky was lit up a little by the stars and Luna’s beautiful moon. Anyways, I sat next to Snuggles and she smiled a little more when I did and Gladio then handed me or hoofed me a beer by throwing it at me, which I caught with my hooves.
Also, the beer was near Gladio in a little ice chest as well. I should have mentioned that before all the little kids at a daycare center was shot to death because I didn’t explain where the beer came from. What? Oh come on, you not that would happen, where someone would go nuts because I didn’t describe one little thing.
I mean with human nature…it can be a very scary thing if pushed the wrong way. And yes, it would even mean shooting up a daycare center. I know, it’s dark, but that’s life for you. Well, at least for you humans…you guys are crazy…and not the good kind of crazy. I mean the crazy where you go shoot up a daycare center…well I’m sure it happened. People go nuts when something isn’t explained, as they think it’s the end of the world for them. And of course, whoever picks this up and reads it, whatever human he or she is, chances a human would say that was wrong, and oh look…another daycare center for puppies just got shot up…clap, clap, clap mother fucker.
Now that’s out of the way, you may shut up now. Anyways, everyone had a beer…except for Snuggles, she wasn’t the type to get drunk. In fact, she never touched alcohol in her life. As well as Razzle, as she too didn’t have a beer, but Dazzle did because she did drink a little, but not too much. Just one more way to tell them apart from one another.
Anyways, I opened up the bottle with my hoof, and yes, I could that, don’t ask, and took a sip of the beer. It was decent, nothing special of taste. I put the beer down on the ground and sat there.
Gladio then asked me, “So Knight, how was your last day at the school?”
I then told him, “It was ok, although for whatever reason it felt like it went fast. I’m not sure why, but it felt like it went fast. I suppose time flies.”
Then Ig spoke up while adjusting his glasses, “Yes, well time can surely go by quickly if you never paying attention to it. But it will go slow if you count every second as it goes by. That’s the one thing about life that is sad, but we all have to live with it though. And one day, we will all grow old and die and wish we had more time, but time can be cruel that way. As there are many things to do in life, but so little time. So to summarize it all up, Time is a curse to us all, but if you ignore it, it might not be so bad.”
Ig then took a swig from his bottle.
Gladio then spoke up and said, “Well I hope I don’t grow old and die. If I have to choose my death, I would rather go out with a bang. I would rather die in battle then die an old man.”
Clever then spoke up and butted in with, “Well if I ever have to die, I would want my family to kill me off, so at least I die by the hoof of my loved ones. More specifically my little sis here, but then again she is a little scary sometimes.”
Starlight then looked at her big brother and threw a punch at his shoulder.
Clever then said, “Ow.”
Promptos then said, “Well if I ever die, I want to die with my friends at least, we’re friends until the end.”
Then Wolf said to the group, “Well if I die, I want to go out by either jacking off to death or have whoever I’m fucking up the ass kill me. Now that’s a way to go.” I then said, “Well, If I ever have to die, I would want it to be a quick and painless death. I’ve been through too much in my past to say I want a painful death. In fact, I would want to die first if I had to choose, because it’s more painful to see my friends and other loved ones die first. Then again, who knows, maybe I’ll stick a gun in my mouth in a dirty motel room with my brains all over the wall. That’ll brighten up the place at least. I might even take some pain killers before I do that too. Not to numb the pain, but to get all thoughts out of my head before I would end it all. And I’m sure that the end of the barrel will taste bitter right before I pull the trigger. But I’m sure at that moment, I wouldn’t mind the taste, in fact, I might even put a little smile on my face if I taste it, and have a smile on my face when I blow my brains out.”
Then the twins spoke up both at once as usual, “We don’t want to die!”
Then Snuggles said to everyone around the warm fire, “Can we please stop talking about death, I don’t think it’s such a good subject to talk right now.”
Ig then said to the twins and Snuggles, “Well that’s part of life…especially when you are around us, we do talk about heavy themes every now and then.”
Gladio then said, “Hold on a minute Ig, she’s right. Why are we talking about death and where we would die? We’re here for Knight.”
Gladio then stood up while everyone else was still sitting down and continued to say, “We’re here tonight to honor a good friend of ours that is leaving tomorrow. We are all sadden by this, as he is a dear friend to us all. We had good times, some bad, but we are friends. It is sad to see him leave, yes, but remember he will always remain in our hearts. And who knows, maybe we will see him once again before we all end up in a hole in the ground, either from old age, death in battle, by our loved ones, near our friends, death by masturbation, or even by suicide, who knows how we will all end up in the ground with bugs crawling all over us. We might end up seeing him once more in the future. If not, maybe in heaven if we’re not burning in purgatory. So I say to Knight…we all say to Knight...you are a true friend…and we will miss you.”
Gladio then moved his head slightly upwards as if he was giving a signal. In which case, everyone grabbed their beer except for Snuggles and Razzle of course, and all stood on their two back legs and holding their beers over the center of the bon fire. I was still sitting down of course as well as Wolf.
I then looked at him and then back at the group. I then stood up as well as Wolf with our beers and joined in with them.
We all held our beers over the center of warm fire as steady as we could, and we all said in unison, except for me of course, I stayed silent, “To Knight!”
Then we all clinked our bottles together and then sat back down. We all took a swig except for the other two mares of course, just reminding so I could prevent a school for bunnies being shot up.
Promptos then said, “Now how about that music Starlight?”
Then Starlight said, “Well I would’ve brought my guitar, but a certain ‘someone’ messed it up earlier today. But thankfully my brother has an acoustic guitar and took lessons instead of wrecking it up.”
She looked at me when she said those very words. As she was saying that though, her brother Clever was getting his guitar that he had behind me and was tuning it up.
After Starlight talked, Clever then said to me, “I’m not even sure how that was possible when you broke that guitar. That was really messed up you know Knight?”
Of course everyone was looking at me when Clever was saying that.
I then said, “Yeah…sorry about that. Although here’s some bits to get a new guitar though.”
I then took the bits out of my satchel and threw it over the fire and at Starlight.
It landed and scattered right in front of her, and as that happened, she said to me, “Oh gee…thanks.”
I’m not sure if she was being sarcastic or being serious, but either way, she was a cold hearted bitch.
Anyways, as she was picking up the bits from the ground, Clever then said before he started playing, “As a going away song to Knight, as we will surely miss him, I would like to play one of his songs that he wrote himself called ‘Night Moves.’ It was actually quite good Knight, very original.”
I then said with a straight face with a bit of shifty eyes though, “Yeah…original…right…I definitely didn’t steal it from someone at all.”
I was looking around to make sure no lawyer popped up to give me a piece of paper that said I was being sued, because those lawyers….they come out of nowhere to just sue you. So I was just standing my ground was all.
Anyways, for those who don’t know, since I was in Equestria, I did play a few songs and called it my own that was made back on Earth. But you know, who wouldn’t do that? It’s a chance to do something and actually become famous. It’s like going back in time before the internet existed and creating the internet. I mean it’s a chance to actually do something.
Who wouldn’t want to do that? Well, Clever then started playing his guitar, and here were the lyrics that I just stole from Bob Seger.
I was a little too tall Could've used a few pounds Tight pants points hardly reknown She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes And points all her own sitting way up high Way up firm and high
Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy Out in the back seat of my '60 Chevy Workin' on mysteries without any clues Workin' on our night moves Tryin' to make some front page drive-in news Workin' on our night moves In the summertime In the sweet summertime
We weren't in love, oh no, far from it We weren't searchin' for some pie in the sky summit We were just young and restless and bored Livin' by the sword And we'd steal away every chance we could To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods I used her, she used me But neither one cared We were gettin' our share Workin' on our night moves Tryin' to lose the awkward teenage blues Workin' on our night moves And it was summertime
And oh the wonder We felt the lightning And we waited on the thunder Waited on the thunder
I awoke last night to the sound of thunder How far off I sat and wondered Started humming a song from 1962 Ain't it funny how the night moves When you just don't seem to have as much to lose Strange how the night moves With autumn closing in
So yeah…like I said who wouldn’t steal those lyrics and say it was your own in a place that didn’t have that song at all? I mean you have to admit, it was cool.
Anyways, after Clever finished, Wolf and I got up and I said, “Well, I suppose it’s time for me and Wolf to hit the hay. I do have to get up early tomorrow anyways since I do believe it will be around dawn when I have to leave. So Goodbye everyone, I’ll miss you all.”
Then they all said to me, “Goodbye night,”
Or something like that, you know, a farewell. Although Snuggles didn’t say it though, but instead she lightly kissed me on the cheeks and then said goodbye to me as she smiled. I smiled back and I waved my hoof at them and left. I left them as they continued to enjoy their night, and I slowly walked away, as it was my last time seeing them.
Well not really though, but it would be many years before I would ever see them again, but it was sort of my last time seeing them. Me and Wolf eventually got back to the tower, it was a bit of a walk, but we made it there without a problem.
We climbed the steps without a problem and I opened the door to let Wolf in. He went in and I went in last while closing the door behind us.
Wolf then said as he went to his bed and stretching a bit, “Well Knight, I’m tired as fuck. Well, it was nice knowing them and all, but who the fuck cares, right Knight? Knight?”
I was standing by the window, looking at the stars as tears flowed down on my cheek. It was sort of a cool feeling as the tears came from my eyes. Wolf noticed and he said to me, “Are you crying? What’s wrong?”
Although he had a bit of a smirk on his face as he said that, and I responded as I looked towards him, “I’m crying because I’m going to miss them Wolf. They were great friends and…I’m not sure if I will ever see them again. I know they will always be in my heart, and if they are in my heart, they’re never truly gone, but to me, it’s painful. I mean as I look upon the night sky, it feels like this was my last time seeing them again. Then again I might see them again, but then again it might not be for a reunion or anything like that. Maybe something bad will happen, I don’t know Wolf. I’m just sad that I won’t see them again, I just…I just want to be left alone right now Wolf. Just shut up and go to bed…you pile of fucking sticks.”
Wolf then said to me with a neutral expression, “Nice to know that you’re alright. Well, see you in the morning Knight.”
Wolf then went to bed and slept soundly without a disturbance, as I continued to stand by the window and look at the night sky as the tears continued to come out. I sat there for an hour or so more, couldn’t tell because I wasn’t paying attention to the time at that time. Eventually I wiped the tears from my face with my hooves and went to bed. I too slept soundly without a disturbance, as the days transition to the next.
Morning arose as the sun slowly replaced the moon. The birds weren’t out, as Wolf did kill the birds yesterday morning, so obviously there were no birds. However, the sun didn’t completely rise up, it was still stuck in the middle with the moon, which meant it was basically dawn.
I heard a knock on the door, in which case I yawned and slowly got up. I wasn’t sad anymore of course, because I did fell asleep and didn’t have that thought on my mind about my friends and such. I opened the door and when I did, I saw Celestia and Luna standing in front of the door, while also seeing the amount of daylight that was still outside.
I then asked, “What is it?”
Celestia then said, “It’s time for you to leave Knight. We have your transportation ready.”
They then pointed to a chariot outside on the ground, waiting for me and Wolf to board it and take off. There were also two guards that were pegasi of course, ready to carry the chariot. One was standing straight up and tall, while the other one looked mentally retarded.
I then looked at Celestia and Luna and asked, “Shouldn’t you two be raising the sun and lowering the moon or something?”
Luna then said, “Yes, well…it’ll come up, we just wanted to get you ready to leave is all.”
I then said, “Give us a minute.”
They then nodded happily, in which case I closed the door.
I went to Wolf and shook him up by shaking his back while saying, “Get up you lazy bastard, we have to leave.”
Then Wolf said, “Uhhhhh……fuck school mom, I’m not going. Every kid there makes fun of me…”
I then pushed him some more while saying, “I said get up.”
Wolf then said while still having his eyes closed, “I’ll do it and shoot up the school and kill the kids that made fun of me…just give me five more minutes.”
I then went close to his ears and said, “Wake up!”
Wolf then quickly opened up his eyes and then looked at me.
He then said, “Oh hey Knight…you want to shoot up a school?”
I then said to him, “You have problems…get up, we’re leaving.”
I then went to my desk and started to pack up my things, just my stuff I had on my desk and put it into my satchel. I didn’t worry about the guns so much, as I had it hidden somewhere…somewhere within the walls of course.
I mean I didn’t have the space for it, but no one would really find it though at least.
As I was doing that, Wolf said to me, “Already? I thought I would have had at least some time to myself to jack off before we left.”
I then said to him, “No, now get up, we’re leaving.”
Wolf then got out of his bed and he then said, “Alright then, although I’ll miss jacking off in this place though.”
I finished packing my stuff up and headed to the door and opened it.
Celestia and Luna were a bit confused and asked, “No luggage Knight?”
I then told her as Wolf was right next to me, “Nope, just me, Wolf, and my hat and satchel. Although I’m assuming Wolf is going to have a bed in the place that we’re staying at?”
Celestia then said, “Yes.”
We then started to head down the stairs, in which I then asked as we were moving, “So do you have a list for me or something to check on the celebration preparations?”
Celestia then said, “Actually, yes, it’s on the chariot. Just make sure everything is ready when we arrive in Stalia.”
We then got onto the green grass and walked towards the chariot.
I then asked her one last question, “So, where exactly are we going to stay at anyways?”
As I waited for a response, we got to the chariot, as it wasn’t far from the steps. I saw the piece of paper on the seat and I took it with my magic, fold it up, and put it in my satchel.
Celestia and Luna smiled and Celestia then told me, “Well, I know how much you like books, so we were able to get you a place in the library. You don’t have to worry about paying any bills at all, as we will take care of that. We will also send you money every now and then for food and such. Anyways, goodbye Knight, we will see you at the celebration.”
And then the chariot took off, and as we went away from the ground, I saw Celestia and Luna waving goodbye to me and Wolf. Also, another thing that was bullshit that Celestia thought I had liked books. I don’t know…maybe she was thinking that I was Twilight or something.
Maybe she’s desperate for another Twilight so she’s saying that I like books. Next thing you know, I become a black guy. Eventually we moved into the air and high enough to see the school only from a very far distance. Also, the sun was almost up and such. As we were flying, everyone just kept silent. I had said that one of the guards was mentally retarded or at least looked liked it.
I then asked the normal looking guard as loud as I could since we were in the sky, but not too loud though, “What’s wrong with him?”
I pointed to the retarded guy.
He was able to see who I was talking about and said to me, “He’s just mentally retarded. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we don’t crash and die.”
And then the mentally retarded guard spoke and said, “I put pencils up my butt and farted it out! It was fun!”
I then kept quite through the rest of the ride. Not even Wolf spoke up, although he did jacked off and as he came, the cum kind of flew off the chariot and onto the ground.
I mean who knows, maybe someone got cum on his or her face. We then got to Stalia and the sun was in the sky, so that meant that the ponies of the town were up and about. We landed in the middle of the market place, it wasn’t too busy, but we did. We landed there, but no one bothered to look and ask. They kept to their own business and such.
Once the chariot stopped, Wolf and I got off, in which case I said to the guards, “Thanks for the ride.”
Then the normal guard said, “You’re welcome.”
Then they took off…and crashed into a nearby mountain and died as the retarded one kind of took control and pretty much killed them. Who knows, maybe if it was an airplane, at least a hundred and fifty souls wouldn’t blame the retarded one. In fact, they would say it would be alright. Anyways, we were in Stalia now, and now here is when things sort of but not really though gets interesting…but not really though because who gives a fuck, right?
Anyways, after we saw the chariot somewhat crash in the far distance, I said to Wolf, “So then…it looks like we’re here to start a new beginning…with new friends…”
Wolf then said, “Yeah…a new start…sounds like a name of a shitty chapter to a story that had over long introductions to characters that doesn’t show anything about the character and poorly explains things. Only one guy that is Asian seems to like it too. And has poor word and grammar choices too.”
I then said to him back, “Do you mean a chapter title with ‘New friends and new beginnings?’ Yeah that does sound shitty to me. It also sounds so shitty that everything else also sucks.”
Wolf then said, “I know right?”
All of a sudden, a green-ish pony came walking up to us. He had a neon green type of color for his coat color, with a wooden toaster type of mane color and style, but with a bit more style to it and darker colors…or maybe lighter, couldn’t tell. His cutie mark also was a bunch of neon glow sticks. His eye color had a neon color to it too.
He had a creepy, but yet ok looking smile on his face, as he was trotting towards us. We saw him and waited to see what would happen, but when he got close enough to us, where you would think he would stop and talk, he just immediately turned around and trotted back from where he came with the same smile that he had while walking towards us.
I then said to Wolf as the green pony was trotting away, “That was weird.”
Wolf then said, “So how about we look at that checklist now.”
Then I said to him, “Yeah, maybe we should look at it while under a tree, I don’t know why, but we should.”
Then Wolf pointed right next to us and said, “Why not use that tree that’s right next to us?”
Apparently we were right next to a tree that was in the middle of the market place, that had a patch of green grass around it along with a rock circling the green grass.
I then said to Wolf, “Oh.”
We then went to the tree that wasn’t far then ten or so feet from us. I sat down under it while Wolf sat next to me. I used my magic and took the piece of paper that Celestia gave me for the preparations for the celebration.
I sat down and reviewed it with Wolf.
In other words, I said to him, “Alright then. It looks like we have to go and check on a few. We need to check for the food service, so it would be like an Applejack like location, like in the show. Next, we will need to check on the decorations, then check on the music. That’s it…just three things. I’m not even sure how she would have thought I would meet the other ponies that she had in the file that you gave me.”
Wolf then said, “I’m surprised that she hasn’t figured out that the files are gone.”
Then out of nowhere, although not literally this time around, the pony with the neon green coat color came back to us, but he still didn’t say a word. Instead, he sniffed me, licked inside my ears, took my measurement, looked deeply into my eyes, and pretty much just examined me. Then he left once more.
I then said, “I wonder if he is part of the ponies I’m supposed to meet.”
Wolf then asked me, “Why not check it? You have the files with you, right?”
I then said to him, “Yeah, but I’m too lazy.”
I then got up from under the tree, as Wolf did too, in which I then said to him, “To the apple farm I suppose.”
Then we walked to the apple farm that was part of Stalia. Of course I didn’t know the town at the time, but we just took a big fucking guess and it was somewhere near the outside of Stalia town limits. I mean it is a farm after all. It needs a lot of land.
Well, we found it, as it was a big ass farm. A farm that was filled with apple trees and nothing more. So this pony we were supposed to meet along with the celebration checklist was going to be the Applejack of this town. We walked deep within the farm, passing many apple trees, and eventually came across the house. I didn’t see anyone around, other than a little boy that was just playing with some rocks on the ground in the distance.
He had a black coat color with a light blue-ish mane color that was a bit spiky in certain areas. He looked lonely and such. He didn’t notice me or anything, he just kept to himself, but it’s not like I cared or anything. Well, we got close to the front porch of the house, and then the door opened with a pony that had a white coat color. Ok it wasn’t a compete white, it was like a dirty white color, like if it was an old Super Nintendo console, because those things don’t age well. Like it had a hint of yellow added to the white to make it a bit dark or something like that. He also seemed to have had a dark brown mane color, but I couldn’t tell because he was wearing a trucker hat on, as he always did have it on. As for the hat color, it was a blue color.
He also had a cutie mark with some apples on it. Well, he didn’t have any messed up teeth, so I was for sure he wasn’t from the deep south where everyone is pretty much everyone’s cousin…and commits insist. In other words, the state of Kentucky..and Kansas…don’t forget Kansas.
Well, he came out while drinking a beer with somewhat of an annoyed look on his face.
Once he came out, he then asked us, “What the fuck do you two want? Are you working for Applejack?”
I then said to him, “Umm…no…no I’m not. We’re here to check on the food for the celebrations.”
And then he quickly ran to us, no longer having the annoyed look on his face, but just wide eyes and a bleak expression across his face.
He then got near us and quickly asked, “Do you know anything about Applejack whatsoever?”
I then asked him while pushing him back a little, since he was a little close and all, “Why do you keep asking about Applejack?”
He then said, “Well you see, I’m Applejack’s cousin…and I hate that bitch. Ever since that day, we’ve been at war with each other and frankly I hope she dies.”
I then asked him, “What happened with you two?”
He then said, “Well you see, one day I noticed that one of my pigs were gone and I knew that orange bitch had took it. She always been eyen that pig, so I knew she stole that pig of mine. So I went over here and asked for my pig back, but she kept saying no and that I had just got drunk one night and killed it and made a sacrifice to some demonic thing called Satan because I had found a weird book while dunk called ‘How to summon Satan’ and I decided to try it out. I knew she was just lying, even though she kept telling me it happened and she was there when I did it, so I argued, and we got into a fight. Well, she mostly bucked me a few times, but I punched her back, but then her big brother Big Mac came up to me and pretty much kicked my ass. She then told me a week later that I was supposedly shunned and disowned from the Apple family. But I know that lying bitch is lying, so I am determined to bring that whore down however I can, even if it means killing my little brother Shadow over there.”
He then pointed to his that little kid I saw earlier.
The pony then said, “Speaking of my little brother...HEY SHADOW!”
Shadow then looked up to the pony, and then the pony threw the empty beer bottle at him and hit him in the head.
Then the southern pony, which by the way, he talked in a southern accent, said, “He’ll be fine. By the way, my name is Mac Farmer, for your information, the food is going very well.”
Mac then point to a pile that was nearby that were apples…and it was filled with bugs and flies and such, along with the apples being rotten. Mac then said, “Yup, so much better than Applejack’s shitty apples. So, one last question for you…do you like Applejack or do you hate her?”
I then thought for a moment, and judging from what he did to his little brother, I had to carefully think about my answer.
I then said to him, “I am undecided?”
Mac then say, “Well, at least you didn’t say you liked her, or else I had to stab you. But if you decide that you hate her, come on by, I have a resistance to kill her and to show her that she’s fucking with the wrong pony.”
Then said, “Uh huh….well can I ask you this…is it just you and your brother or are you alone?”
Mac then said, “Nope, we have our Pa…he’s just lying on the couch is all.”
I then asked, “So he’s sleeping?”
Mac then said, “Nope, he’s been there for the past ten years. So just remember if you need anything apple related come to me..and don’t go to Applejack if you know what’s good for you…”
He had said that last part real slow and creepy like as well. He also went back inside slowly and kept an eye on as us as we slowly left the farm as well.
We eventually got off the farm and I then said to Wolf, “That was odd, but yet, I really don’t care. So the next stop is decorations then.”
We then headed off the farm to the decorations, which the pony was supposed to be working on in the city hall building, as that was where the celebration was going to take place. It took us a while, and by that time, it was around noon, as the sun was high the sky, so we had a little more time before it would have gotten dark and such.
We got back into town and barely anyone was around…which was weird, but really who cares, it was like in the show and it was history repeating itself…in a certain way. We were walking to city hall, as I was assuming it was in the center of the town, until a red pony came crashing into us. We didn’t get hurt or anything, or even get mud on us…unlike Twilight. When we got hit, Wolf and I were on the ground, a bit dazed and such.
We were on the ground, Wolf on top on me, but we got up as Wolf got up and off of me first. I then got up and saw the red pony that crashed into us. He was a Pegasus, which by the way, Mac was an Earth pony, while that green pony that we met was an Earth pony as well. Well, the pony that crashed into us had a red coat color, he had a fire colored mane, and the style was spiky with a bit more class to it than what Rainbow Dash had. His cutie mark was also a cloud and a fire streak right next to it. I put my hoof out and the red pony saw it and reached for it.
He then got up from the ground, and as he did so, he looked a little ashamed as to what he had done and said to me, “Sorry about that, I’m trying to fly, but as you saw, it hasn’t been going so well lately.”
I then told him, “Well it could be worse, you crash a lot like Rainbow Dash.”
He then looked surprised as to what had just said, and he then looked at me and asked me, “You know Rainbow Dash?”
I then said to him, “Yeah, so what? You hate her or something?”
He then said, “No…not at all, in fact, I love her. I just never seen her in pony is all.”
He then was silent for a few seconds, until he asked me, “Is she cool?”
I then said, “A little bit…”
He then told me, “I’ve heard she wants to go into the Wonder bolts, so I’m trying to fly like her so I can get in too, but I still need some practice though. I’m sorry, where are my manners? Hi, my name is Forrest Fire, nice to meet you.”
He then gave me his hoof, in which I responded with shaking his hoof as well.
He then started to hover with his wings and he said, “Well, I have to go now…need to practice some more, I’ll see you around I guess.”
He then flew away to fly some more, in which case, me and Wolf didn’t say a single word and we continued towards city hall. Eventually we made it. It looked like the same in the show with a few differences here and there…but nothing to lose sleep over though. Well, we entered through the front door and went inside. The interior wasn’t anything special as nothing seem to have been put up as far as decoration go. I mean it was completely empty. Anyways, we walked into the center of the building, and of course, like in the show, it was a big circle thing type of room.
Anyways, and standing in the center of the room was a grey pony with a black colored mane that had a rough style to it, but with a hint of a gentlecolt added to it. He was wearing a black coat, the gentlecolt coat type thingy, along with a suit for a cutie mark. He was holding something in his hands, a piece of paper, and he was looking mighty pissed.
I could hear him mumbling to himself, “Son of a fucking bitch, those critics giving me a point five out of ten (.5/10) for my work. Who the fuck do they think they are? I’m going to find where they live and cut off their balls and feed it to their family while skinning their cats alive. Then I’ll set their house on fire and eat their kids alive in front of them while raping their wives…those son of a …”
I then cut him off and then asked him, “Excuse me, but are you supposed to be putting the decorations up?”
Then the pony looked towards me with a confused expression while still holding the paper up and he then said, “Huh? Oh sorry…didn’t hear you come in.”
The pony then had put the paper in his jacket, in which case I asked him, “What were you reading?”
Then he had told me, “Oh…it was just a couple of critics review about the work that I make. Apparently they say my work doesn’t have any ‘detail.’ They say my work is just an outline. WELL MY FUCKING WORK IS NOT A FUCKING OUTLINE! IT’S A FUCKING GOOD PIECE OF FUCKING ART, THEY FUCKING KNOW IT, THOSE STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS WOULDN’T KNOW FUCKING ART EVEN IF IT GOT SHOVED UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES WHILE FUCKING A MONKEY UP A TREE WHILE A BULL SHARK GOES AND RAPE THEIR CATS WHILE A BROOM KILLS THEIR KIDS! I’m sorry…where are my manners, my name is Classy Jack…but you can just call me Jack…”
He then put his left hoof forward, in which case I put my right hoof out and shook his hoof. After that, we put our hooves down and such and we continued to talk.
I then asked him, “So, I’m guessing when you said something about manners, I suppose you try to be the most gentle-like-colt that you can be without getting angry like that?”
Jack then responded with, “Oh no…I mean I do try to act classy when I can, but most of the time I’m just a douche bag.”
I then had a bit of a surprised look on my face and asked, “You admit it?”
Then Jack said, “Yeah sure, why not, but I did say I try to be classy and proper sometimes, but only when I feel like it and can remember it. Other than that, I’ll fucking rip your throat out if you try and criticize my work, but I’m assuming you’re not a critic because you don’t look like a fucking asshole.”
Of course Wolf was the asshole, but he didn’t look like an asshole, that’s because he doesn’t admit it.
Jack then asked me, “So, what can I do you for?”
Of course he was still standing there and not working on the decorations, thought I make the clear before anyone gets confused that he was actually doing something. Why do I think that?
Because a forest fire could have been started due to the chaos…that would engulfed a orphanage for cats.
Anyways, I asked Jack, “Yes, well I’m from Cantorlot and….”
Jack cut me off and had an exciting look in his eyes and told me, as he kind of got really close to my face, “You’re from Cantorlot!? Tell me…how does it feel to live among the rich? How does it feel to be loved for what you do?”
Then I pushed him back so I could get my personal space and told him, “I come from Celestia’s school, so I really don’t live among the rich. Second of all, I’m not that loved either, so really fuck off.”
Jack then looked disappointed and said, “Oh…well continue what you were saying then.”
I then continued to say, “Yes…well, I’m from Cantorlot and Princess Celestia has sent me to check on the decorations for the celebration for later tonight, but it seems you have not done anything yet. May I ask why despite me not caring that you didn’t?”
Jack then said, “Well I’ve been looking at that review for the past twenty-one hours…and thinking of all the terrible things I would do to those critics…”
Then I told him, “You have scary problems…don’t you?”
Then Jack said to me with a straight and serious face, “Do I? Or do the critics have a scary problem? Because those mother FUCKERS CAN GO FUCKING FUCK THEMSELVES WITH AN ALLIGATOR SHITTING ON THEIR BALLS WHILE THEY HAVE A….”
Then I started to ignore him and what he was saying, in which I said to him, “Yeah…I’m going to leave now…good luck with your scary problems…”
Then me and Wolf left the building, while Jack continued on to rant and rant about his problems with the critics. Although I don’t entirely blame him though…because some can be real assholes…at least some that is.
Well, we went out of the building, and as we were walking Wolf said to him “Alright then, I do believe we have one more, right?”
Then I said to him, “Yup, we just need to check on the music for the celebration.”
As we were the walking, Celestia’s sun was setting, so it was getting somewhat late. So, we then headed to…well actually, we didn’t know where we needed to go.
In fact, Wolf had asked me, “So…how we supposed to check on the music then?”
I then said to him, “I’m not sure…maybe we should…”
Then we heard faint music coming from somewhere.
We had our ears out and we wondered where it would be from, in which case, I then said, “What is that noise coming from?”
Wolf then said, “It sound like a bunch of dying giraffes…”
I then looked at him, stared at him, and thought, ‘Idiot…that doesn’t like a bunch of dying giraffes…it would sound more or less of an art form, that music that may or may not be coming from birds.’
I then said to Wolf after eyeing him for a bit, “Let’s just follow where the music is coming from.”
And so we did, and the music took us to a little part in an area on a trail. Eventually we found the source of the music, and we saw a pony that had a coat color between a light orange and a tan. His mane was a good looking brown color, while his hair style reminded me of what Bradley cooper had, but yet, it didn’t make him look like a total douche bag in certain ways. He was also wearing a green vest that looked like what Daring do would where and a nice looking white hat.
Like…I’m not sure what type of hat it was, so here comes the fun part kids…adults…whatever you guys are…it’s imagination time…and not the gay kind either…the one that homosexuals think about…I’m talking about the one where you use your head, which seems to me that not many use today, but it’s cool, as long as you don’t go nuts, you’ll be fine.
I know it’s hard to understand what I’m saying, but use your imagination. And yes…you can use the color green, it’s full range, no restrictions, so use your imagination as to what the hat might have looked like. I’ll give you a moment to think. You’re done yet? Is it better than being told what it looked like and having no fun at all? No? Well I don’t blame you…I blame Obama. Well, if he is still around that is, maybe he’s dead in a hole in Kenya where people run over him in sign of respect because Kenyans can run very fast…and I’m sure he’s a Kenyan.
Also, he had a wolf for a cutie mark. Anyways, he was hovering off the ground and using his hooves to conduct a row of signing birds. In fact, he was doing somewhat of a decent job at it too. The music was sounding great. In fact, it sounded more better than it was in the show, it felt like a beautiful orchestral piece that words cannot express how amazing it was to hear and it would make you cry too.
Well, the pony was conducting the music while all the birds were all in tune, until one messed up and was out of tune. The pony had heard it and soon stopped moving his hooves, but the song continued to play. The pony picked a decently large rock up from the ground and threw it at the bird that was out of tune, as the bird was on the right end of the branch that all the birds were on while singing.
The pony hurled the rock at the bird that was blue that was out of tune, but the bird dodged it and ducked. The music went silent and all the birds were looking at the bird that dodged the rock.
The pony then slowly hovered towards the blue bird and asked, “Do you know why I just hurled a rock at your head? It could have been worse, I could have hurled a chair at your head. In fact, I wish there was a chair that I could hurl at you. Why do you think I want to hurl a chair at your head Mr. Blue Bird?”
The bird looked nervous, but all it did was just chirp.
The pony got closer to the bird and then said, “Let me ask you this? Do you think you were out of tune?”
The bird chirped, as if it said ‘I don’t know.’
Then the pony asked him, but with a bit more louder tone, “Were you out of tune!?”
The bird chirped again, in which case, the pony then yelled at the bird, WERE YOU OUT OF TUNE OR WERE YOU NOT!!?”
The bird chirped again, but this time the pony seemed to have been more angry and then said after breaking a branch that was near on the tree and trying to hit the blue bird with, “WERE YOU FUCKING OUT OF FUCKING TUNE YOUR ASS EATING BITCH OF A FUCKING WHORE!!!?”
Then the bird chirped even louder than before, but this time, the bird’s answer seemed to have calmed down the pony.
The pony then asked calmly, “Are you upset?”
Then the bird chirped.
The pony then asked with a little more tone, “I can’t hear you…”
The bird chirped again.
The pony then acted in response, “I can’t fucking hear you!”
Then the bird chirped even louder, in which the pony said once more, “SAY IT OUT LOUD SO EVERY MOTHER FUCKING BIRD CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!”
Then the bird chirped as loud as it could, in which case, yes…yes every bird heard his chirp. The bird was afraid and had its eyes closed, as it was afraid what was going to happen next.
The pony then said to him, “Now…GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SINGING GROUP, YOU DEADBEAT MOTHER FUCKER THAT CAN’T SING FOR FUCKING SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW!”
The bird sat there, shocked at what he had heard.
The pony then got even more angry and then said, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? DO YOU HAVE FUCKING SHIT IN YOUR EARS!? I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FUCKING RIP YOU A FUCKING NEW ONE!”
The bird just continued to look at the pony with its beak open in shock. The pony looked annoyed, in which case, he went all out and picked up the bird with his hooves and started to abuse the bird.
He had punched and ripped the head off, afterwards, throwing the two body parts to the ground.
He then went back into his original position as conductor and looked at all the birds and asked them in a nice, calm voice, “So…does anyone have a problem right now? No one? Good, now let’s take it from the top.”
I then finally spoke up and asked the pony, “Do you do that to everyone of your animals?”
The pony looked towards me with an odd look, in which case he came down and landed on all four hooves.
He then came up to me, with a hint of a smirk on his face and told me, “Well only if they misbehave a bit. What’s up? Haven’t seen you around.”
I then told him, “Well I just moved in and such and I have been sent by Princess Celestia to make sure the music is in check for the celebration tonight. I’m guessing it’s going smoothly?”
The pony said, “Well, ju…oh shit…get down!”
Then the pony dragged me and Wolf into a nearby bush. We then had our eyes peeking through the bush once we got settled inside the bush and we could get ourselves together. I then saw a squirrel quickly run by to where we were, look around, and then run away.
We then got out the bushes and then I asked him, “What was that about?”
Then the pony responded with, “Just a squirrel that I’ve been trying to capture for many years…ever since I was a child, it mocked me just by eating a nut…but that squirrel…one day…one day I’ll kill and hurl a chair at his entire family.”
Then there was a pause.
The pony the said, “Well, just a bit of technical difficulties is all. That was the seventh bird I killed this week that couldn’t sing in tune, but it’ll be alright, I can just breed another one. By the way, my name is Arrell (Ah-well), don’t ask why. I’ll see you around I guess. By the way, nice Timber Wolf…they normally kill ponies around here.”
Wolf then spoke up and said to Arrell, “Well I’m not the killing type. I’m more of the raping/having sex type of Timber Wolf.”
Arrell then was shocked and had his jaw hang down from his mouth. He was surprised that the timber wolf actually talked.
He then said, “Om my god…it can talk…meh…I’ve seen better. But it is interesting though…how does it talk?”
He had looked at me when he had said that. Also, by the way, he had talked in a hint of an Australian accent a little.
I responded to him and told him, “Magic…”
He then nodded and then said, “I understand everything now…now as for talking timber wolf…”
Wolf then spoke up and said, “The name’s Wolf just to let you know that I have name…and he’s Knight just in case you cared a little.”
Arrell then said, “Yes…whatever you say…can I ask how does it feel to be made of nothing but wood?”
I Then looked at Wolf and quietly told him, “Let’s go to the library.”
Then we were off, as Arrell followed us on the way, asking weird, but yet truthful questions about Wolf that Wolf never answered. We eventually made it to the library, although it took a little while to get there, but we made it as the sun was just about to set and such outside in the sky. When we got to the door, I made sure the door was unlocked, because I wasn’t given a key or anything like that, by just pushing down on the door handle, as it was one of those door handles.
I then turned my attention towards Arrell, after he asked one last question and told him, “Please fuck off good sir…and have a wonderful day.”
I then opened the door and Wolf went in first, in which I went in and closed and locked the door behind with Arrell behind left out. When we had went in, everything was dark, and I could only see Wolf’s glowing eyes, but yet could feel a presence within the library.
I asked Wolf, “Why are the lights turned off?”
Wolf then told me, “Well this is a library, who uses a library anymore?”
I then told him, “I think you’re over thinking that part a little too much…”
Wolf then said to me, “I’m pretty sure libraries are like ancient buildings to the young generation back on Earth.”
I then said to him back, “Well they are way too dependent on technology, so you may have a point there. And it’s not like they watch ‘Don’t hug me, I’m scared 4’ and learn a lesson or anything like that. They don’t want to think like that. They just want Mountain Dew and Doritos.”
Wolf then asked me, “Is that really a thing?”
I then told him, “Only if they go MLG, then yeah.”
Then the lights came on and what we saw in front of us were the ponies that I saw today, the green pony, Mac, Forest, Arrell, and Jack. They all had….well smiles…kind of. The green pony was the only one that had a smile on, while Mac had a disgruntled look, while Forest looked like he was trying to smile, although not sure, and Jack and Arrell had somewhat decent smiles.
The green pony yelled out once he had turned the lights on, “Welcome back Knight!”
I then noticed a banner that said ‘Welcome Back Knight.’
I was confused as to why that was there, but it wasn’t important though at the moment, so I just continued to concentrate my attention towards everyone else in the room.
The green pony went up to me and quickly shook my hoof and said, “Hi, I’m Neon Party, and I threw this party just for you! And I killed a bunch of ponies just for you!”
Then Neon pointed towards a pile of dead bodies within the corner of the living room.
I then said, “Thanks. Is this right place? Is this the library?”
I had asked that because there were no books to be seen around.
Neon then said with a continuous smile and pointed me in the right direction, “Sure is Knight! There’s a little room around the stairs that has all the books.”
Well, I should describe this place before all the schools in the world get shot up by mildly annoyed people. When you walk through the front door, it’s the living room, with the kitchen to the back right and to the near left was sort of a dining area.
And in the middle was a staircase that led upstairs that had a railing on a wall to the left. The left side of the staircase was blocked off by a white wall, while the right side was completely open until half way up. On the left side of the stairs, to the right of the dining room was a decent sized room that was filled with books, a chair, a fire place, and a record player along with a candle if needed. Of course, the wall that was separating the living room and the dining room was big enough, it seems as if it could fit a door that could lead to some kind of basement or something. Anyways, I just prevented all the schools on Earth from being shot up…now where’s my money? No…well then screw you then.
Anyways, after Neon had showed me what I was asking, I had said, “Great…why are you all in my house right now?”
Neon the said to me, “Because it’s a party!”
Then I asked, “Why only them, and how did Arrell get in here so quick, I just saw him not too long ago outside.”
Arrell then told me, “I kind of broke through your kitchen window quickly.”
Neon then told me, “I invited everypony else, but they said they were scared as I went close to them with a knife and slowly gutted them out to make a fresh batch of cupcakes for this party, as they were saying no…so I killed over thirty kids, twenty-one adults, and fifteen seniors. By the way, you want a cupcake…they’re delicious.”
I shook my head no slowly, in which case, Neon then took out a cupcake from nowhere and then told me, “Well suit yourself.”
He then ate the cupcake whole and then said while chewing, “That’s some good intestines.”
He then swallowed it in a single gulp.
Neon then said to me as he went towards a closet in the living room area, “But I was able to get some other ponies for the party.”
Neon then opened the closet door, and a bunch of old, dusty pony skeletons came pouring out of it and into a pile of bones.
Neon then said, “Now it’s a party!”
Then the skeletons magically got up and went into various positions where they would sit on the couch or at a poker table that just magically appeared by Neon. Oh, and how could I forget, Jack was a unicorn while Arrell was a Pegasus, why did I forget?
Well, it isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Anyways, there were like twenty-one skeletons or so I think, but couldn’t really count it.
Well, Neon then announced, “Now let’s have a party everypony!”
And then everyone just went their separate ways. Jack and Arrell went to the poker table and started to play poker with the skeletons, Forrest was just standing in the middle of the room, wondering what he should do, and Mac was sitting on the couch drinking beer with the skeletons.
As for the other skeletons, they were either dancing with Neon, and yes, they were dancing, or they were in other places around the first floor of the library home. Of course Neon was dancing to music with the skeletons, but it was really slow and creepy music with a creepy violin tone added to it.
I went up to Forest and asked him, “So why are you just standing there?”
Forrest looked at me and said, “Well, I’m just not sure what to do. I mean it’s not like this is the first time this has happened, but I just guess it’s just that you’re our new friend is all and it’s kind of weird.”
I then asked him, “Wait…this has happened…what do you mean your new friend? I mean I can understand that we can become friends…or more like will…but this soon?”
Forrest then said, “Well Neon told us you made friends with him and a friend of Neon is a friend with us.”
I then stood there with an odd look and said, “Huh…well, this has happened before?”
Then Jack butted in and said to me while holding his cards while playing poker, “Yup, although honestly we just go with it. It’s kind of fun if you just don’t think about it too much.”
Then Jack went back to playing poker, and which case I then decided to talk to Neon, in which case he was dancing with the skeletons. They were weird skeletons, but yet cool.
I went up to him and Neon noticed me and he said to me, “Hey Knight! How’s our new friend doing?”
I then asked him, “Can I ask why skeletons?”
Then Neon put a hoof on me and said, “Why not…these skeletons are the life of the party! They just came out of your closet! Show them what you mean fellas!”
Then the skeletons then turned their heads all toward me, then one with a brown cowboy hat grabbed out a guitar from nowhere and started playing a tune. The skeletons then started to sing and the lyrics were:
Dum….. Dum… Dum… We’re the singing skeletons, We don’t work or fight, We just want to party, All night and day Oh hi Oh hi! Oh low Oh low! When the tumbleweeds are rolling through town When the kids are scared out of their beds You know what’s coming to you As we’re the singing skeletons Oh hi Oh hi! Oh low Oh low! We’re the signing skeletons
Then they went back to being dead.
Neon then looked at me with a creepy smile, in which case I then said, “I’m going upstairs to my room and get some sleep. You can stay here if you want Wolf, I really don’t care.”
Wolf then stayed behind while I headed upstairs.
When I left, Wolf looked at Neon and he then asked him, “Can I have sex with that cupcake…rape it I mean?”
Neon then said with a smile while giving him a cupcake, “Sure, there’s plenty to go around!”
Wolf then received the cupcake and smiled at it…and slowly licked his lips as some of the intestines slowly came out. Well after that…you really don’t want to know what happens afterwards.
Anyways, I headed upstairs, and to describe the second floor of the library, although there was an attic, but I didn’t go up there, but for now let me describe the second floor before there is a nursery rhyme about the day when the world went nuts and shot up all the schools because I didn’t describe something. Well, once you get to the top of the steps, there was just a right turn, and it was just a narrow hallway with four rooms. One was my room, one was a guest room, one was a bathroom, and another one was the door that led to the attic. The guest room was empty except for just a bed, a blanket, a pillow, and a chair facing the bed along with a creepy clown doll sitting in the chair.
That and strangely enough, a creepy looking Mickey Mouse doll sitting on the bed looking at the clown. Which by the way, when I was exploring the second floor and saw the stuff, I looked into the room, I saw the two things, and they turned their heads at me and looked at me. Was I startled, a little bit, but I just closed the door, but strangely enough though, they disappeared after that and every once and a while they come back, but once they leave, I find the closet door to be open in that room. It’s weird.
The bathroom was…a bathroom, while the door leading to the attack was just a staircase that led to the attic obviously. As for where they were placed, my room was on the first left, guest room first right, bathroom on the second left, and the door leading to the attic was on the second right, with nothing being at the end, so I could either put a picture, a table, a mirror that may or may not kill me or something like that.
Anyways, I went into my room and everything seemed to have been made for my arrival. I just had to decorate it with whatever I desired is all. When I walked in, I noticed a hat rack nearby and just put it there and there was a dresser there, so I put my satchel there as well. There was also a bathroom in my room too, a decent sized one, so the one out in the hallway was basically for the guest.
Anyways, I was sort of tired since I was out all day, meeting the ponies, so I immediately got into my bed, not caring about getting under the covers or not. I had noticed as I was going to my bed, that Wolf’s bed was there on the left side when I’m not in the bed…well the point of view that is. I mean when I’m in the bed, it’s on the right side of me and…fuck it, you know what I’m talking about. Well, I slowly closed my eyes and started to drift away into dream land.
It was quite peaceful and felt like a lullaby was playing in my head like a child, and it slowly put a smile on my face and started to think of peaceful thoughts. Granted, I wasn’t thinking about my friends back in school, I didn’t have time to think about that as I had new ‘friends’ to worry about and wondering if it would work out like it was back in school. Would I cry if they left me, or would I have a small feeling inside that said that this was going to be a great thing and have fun times or adventures together when I think about who we were and what we could do together along where we stood in this town or world, depending on how you view it and think about it real hard.
That or wonder if the friendship would actually exist…or is friendship is a lie. That’s the thing, I’m not sure if friendship is the truth or the lie in life, it always seems to be so blurry when I’m trying to figure out that answer. Anyways, eventually, it was around four in the morning, almost time for the celebration to start and such, well actually, now that I recall, it was three in the morning.
Wolf had came up stairs and opened the door and said to me as I was still sleeping, “Hey Knight, get up you lazy shit, it’s time to get to the celebration!”
I then slowly opened my eyes, not being startled by his yelling voice, but perhaps it was because of the peaceful dream that I was having.
I slowly got out of the bed and asked him, “So Wolf, what do you think about history repeating itself and being friends with these guys?”
Wolf then said, “Well, they’re certainly not the guys back at the school, but I like them. I think we’re going to get along with them just fine and have just amazing and awesome adventures just like at school, except it would be like the show except a little more awesome.”
I then told Wolf, “You know, if you were to say that back on Earth in a room filled with Bronies, they would kick ass just for saying that sentence.”
Wolf then told me, “Nah, they’re a bunch of pussies so they wouldn’t fight back, now let’s get going.”
I then told him, “Whatever.”
Then we headed downstairs and the skeletons were gone and the place was cleaned up. The front door was opened, and the group was outside waiting for us. We went downstairs, went outside, as I closed the door behind me, and we headed out to city hall. We all went there in a group, nothing interesting happened, but we made it and it seemed that everyone in town was there. We made our way to the balcony where Celestia would show up, but I would assume it would be Celestia’s evil clone.
Well, we waited and waited, until the mayor who was a mare showed up…or guy…couldn’t exactly tell his gender just by looking at him. He or she went up to the microphone that was out and said, “Ladies and Gentlecolts, welcome to the Summer Sun Celebration. We are honored that Stalia, and not Ponyville, is able to host the celebration, so without a further ado, here’s Princess Celesrtia.”
Then the mayor moved out of the way for the Princess as some guards were around to make sure everything was in check and no harm would come to the princess. However, no pony came, but instead, a strange light came through one of the top windows of city hall, in which case, appeared Celestia’s evil clone.
She looked like Celestia, except for her mane, which was completely flames. Oh…and she looked pissed. She looked evil as shit and had an evil grin across her face, while everyone was either mildly ok with this or was shocked within the audience.
The mayor then said, “Who…who are you? You don’t look like Celestia? Guards, seize her!”
Then one of the guards said to the mayor, “But we don’t take orders from you, you’re not the princess.”
Then the evil clone started to speak and she said, “Ponies, do not fear me, for I only want one thing, your Princess Celestia, as she has forgotten me. You do not know who I am, and that is ok, I suppose she never bothered to say anything about me! But that’s ok, I’ll find her…and I’ll kill her for forgetting me on the moon, and then I shall rule this land in my own way!”
I then said out loud, “That’s not much of an intro!”
She then eyed at me and then jumped down from a balcony where she landed when she had arrived and got close to me.
She then asked me, “And please, may I ask how do you know me?”
Then I said, “Well, I never said anything about knowing you, but ok then. Well, Celestia didn’t tell me directly about this, but I kind of took some files of hers and found information about you.”
She then said, “Oh really now, well, perhaps once I kill your precious princess, you could perhaps be at my side when I rule since you know who I am, and that’s more that can be said than anypony else in Equestria. So, I shall find her myself, for she must be around here somewhere!”
Then she turned into a bright fire like mist and started to search for her throughout the town. Then the ponies that were actually worried about this started to panic or rabel amongst themselves.
I then looked at my friends as they were near me of course, and then said, “Alright then, I know how to fix this problem…and…”
Wolf then cut me off and he asked me, “How did Celestia and Luna expected us to figure out how to stop her evil clone?”
I then said to Wolf, “I’m not sure, maybe she would have expected me to remember what Twilight went through and such and somehow take that as an idea.”
I then returned my attention back to the group and said, “Alright then, as I was saying, to fix this, we need to go through…”
We then magically reappeared on the edge of the Everefree Forest, “The Everfree Forest…”
--------------------------- To Be Continued…but not really though….
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Previously… on My Little Pony… Universal Magic, the doctor is desperately trying to save his patient in time, but will he make and save… the black president? Then there was a bunch of random explosions, a love triangle, so who will rape whom? Then someone is trying to diffuse a bomb and giant robot titties… explosions… oh fuck it…. here’s the continuation of the episode and shut the fuck up….
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You know what, I have lied about many things now. Some things were obvious, while others you actually believed in.
For example, I lied about the technology in Equestria. There is some technology, but not that much though to be almost advanced with Humans, but there is a quite a bit of technology.
As for having no friends while I was at Celestia’s school, that was a lie too. I was quite popular during my school days… and I did have other friends other then Wolf while I was there.
Now, as for anything else that I have lied about, I’ll tell you about that along the way as we move on with my life’s story.
Now, the one thing I thought I was going to get away with was when my newly found friends and I went through the Everfree Forest, when I first went to Stalia and Celestia wanted me to make more friends.
Well, that part was also a lie. However, the first half of that chapter was true, but the second half with the forest was complete bullshit. For one thing, I do know what elements that we represent and what the name is and how it was all created.
Well, I don’t know why I lied about it, but I just did. However, my friends have looked in this book, and they were bugging me to actually tell you the truth of what really happened.
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3.5: The Elements of Protection
For one thing, they were not pussys when they entered the Everfree Forest. In fact, they had no emotions, whatsoever towards it. However, being magically poofed there, and no one noticing it, that part was not bullshit.
In fact, I still don’t understand why or even how that happened in the first place. However, let us get back to what really happened that night. Those magical poof things happen, and we were standing right on the edge of the Everfree Forest.
However, instead of my friend being complete pussies about going into the Forest, they had that ok expression on their faces. While we were standing there, Jack said, “Wow. The Everefree Forest. It feels like a long time since we’ve been here.”
I then asked jack, “What do you mean?”
Then Jack said, “Well, before you came here, we were always friends, although the origins for that is a whole another story in itself. However, we always played near and inside the forest. We had quite fond memories I must admit.”
Then Arrell walked away for a bit and came up to a pile of dirt. I then went up along with him. I then stared it and I didn’t quite understand what the fuck was he looking at. I mean, was that dirt special dirt or something? Was it dirt from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, where Johnny Depp said, “I have a jar of dirt?”
What could this be you might ask? Well, I asked Mac, “Hey, Mac, why is he Arrell staring at that pile of dirt over there?”
Then Mac went up to it, for he was a bit confused too. Then, he had an expression of relief on his face. He then said to me, “Oh. Now I remember. This is where we hid the dead body at.”
Then Forest went up to the pile of dirt and said, “Oh yeah, I remember that day. That was the best summer of our lives.”
Yea, and what Forest meant by that was, a summer of when they first met each other, and somewhere, they ripped off the plot from, ‘Stand by me’, to which they end up killing some pony and burying the dead body.
Apparently, it was Forest’s and Jack’s first time they ever killed anyone. That seemed a bit…awesome in my opinion, I think. Well, anyway, I then asked them, “Dead body?”
Then Arrell went up to me and he said, “Yes, you see, we kind of killed someone, which was sort of on accident, but at the same time, it was on purpose. In all honesty, we are not sure why we killed another pony in the first place either. If you want my advice, I would say do not question it, for it will confuse you as well. Anyways, I believe we should start to head off into the Everfree forest, don’t you all agree so we can take this bitch down ourselves?”
I then said, “Yea, I kind of agree. I just want to go back home so I can just do my shit.”
Therefore, we all then went into the forest, with, really, we had no fear, compared to the Mane 6, when they entered the forest.
Well, they acted scared for some, but, really, we were all used to the dam thing. I mean, I’ve been living in the fucking forest for a year, learn to make peace with the animals that lives in the forest, gather food that’s not poisons, make friends with a Timber Wolf, and pretty much be king of the Ever Free Forest.
With the Element of Harmony, they barley go into the forest and shit like that, so, compared to us to them, we were better skilled and shit.
However, we did weaken in some areas, that the Elements of Harmony were better at then us.
For example, a stable friendship. Now, let me put it like this, we will always remain friends, no matter what happens, but sometimes shit happens and we somewhat never forgive each other for it, but strangely remain as friends.
Another example would be being good siblings or big brothers I should admit. With Rarity and Applejack, they are great big sisters and shit. With Mac and Jack.
Well, with Mac, all he does is throw empty beer bottles at his little brother, but sometimes cares for him and gives him shitty advice for later in life. Yea, he wasn’t that great, but I’m pretty sure Rotten Tomato would give him a rating of, either %14 or the douche bag rating.
I don’t know, it’s really for your choosing. However, if you think that is nothing, well, at least it is something. With Jack, well, he doesn’t give a fuck. He could care less about his little brother and sometime pretends that he is not there at all.
However, sometimes he has to force himself to actually care about him, but really, no one cares about him. Another thing that the Elements of Harmony could kick our asses at, is, dare I say it, romance, or in this case, bromance I guess, but, I do not want to even speak of it. I understand that the elements have the romance friendship type, but really, does it even matter!?
All it ever did was give Bronies back on Earth a reason to masturbate to ponies. That is all it did. Sure, some of it was heartwarming, but there are other ways of having heartwarming moments then a romance type feel to it.
Why the fuck is I even writing this down and wasting my precious ink on that part? In addition, Celestia was pissed at me, but I’ve gotten around here tricks this time. Right now, I’m not in my room in Cantorlot Castle. I’m on a Phoenix high in the sky under Luna’s moon. Those sisters will never think to check up here.
Granted, I don’t have any resources to refill my ink now. Then again, yesterday, I actually surprisingly gave a fuck and made a spell that would refill ink containers. So, yay for that I guess. No more boring bull crap from now on…I think. Let us just hope however that Luna doesn’t spot me on this bird of mine, or I’m fucked.
Anyways, we went into the forest and we were walking along a cliff type trail. Forest then said to us, “Wow. I’ve heard many things about this place being creepy and all, but in all honesty, this isn’t scary one bit at all. I mean, it looks like this cliff is going to crack and fall or something.”
I then said to Forest, “I think you just jinxed it Forest.”
Then Forest said, “No I didn’t, I’m just saying is all. Besides, what wrong could happen?”
Then I said to him, “There you go, you just jinxed it again.”
Then Forest said, “Yea, well when the clone bitch of Princess Celestia makes shit happen, I still won’t believe I jinxed shit.”
I still do not understand that. However, Forest did jinx us, because that clone bitch was hot on our trail. However, she did make the cliff fall, but, before she did so, she copied the form of Applejack and put the copy of Applejack on a safe spot away from the part of the cliff that was about to crack and fall. She just appeared out of nowhere and the copy said, “Why hello Mac Farmer. I can see that you are still weak and hopeless.”
Then, Mc pushed himself to the front and he was pissed off at what he was seeing. He said in a grunted way, “What the fuck are you doing here Applejack?”
I then told him, “Mac, she isn’t real. She is just that Princess Celestia clone bitch. She’s just trying to use your weakness and shit to get us all killed.”
Then Jack asked me, “How do you know that?”
Then I said to him, “Well, I just assuming that shit that happened to the Elements of Harmony is going to happen to us. It’s just what it really seems to me right now.”
However, Mac did not hear a word that I say. He ignored us while he listened to fake Applejack. The copy Applejack then said, “Well then, I know you really hate me. However, since I’m sooooooooooo much better then you and you are so weaker then I am, I’ll give you a one free hit on me.”
Then Mac said, “you’re on you mother fucking bitch!”
Then Mac charged towards the fake Applejack, while I said, “No Mac! She’s just trying to use your…ah, forget it. We were screwed anyway from the start.”
Then Arrell said, “Well, at least we had a good run.”
I then responded to Arrell with, “You do realize that we didn’t even get ten yards into the forest yet, right?”
Then he said, “Well, at least we can dream though, right?”
Yea, he’s right. We can still dream. Then, the ground beneath of us started to crack, just as if I said it would. Yea, saying, the clone was trying to use Mac’s jealousy for Applejack as a distraction while we pretty much die and he does nothing about.
This means we instantly failed the mission, just like a casual gamer playing Metal Gear Solid for the first time.
Yea, we were that bad at this shit. However, surprisingly, Mac noticed what was happening, and then he looked back at the fake Applejack. The copy said, “You either hit me Mac, so you can prove to me if you’re better than me, or you save your friends, and you lose your free hit on me. So then, what is it going to be?”
Then Mac stood there for a while and thought it through. Then, he came to his senses and he said to the Applejack bitch, “No. I rather save my friends you bitch.”
Then Mac rushed over to us and with all of his strength, and pushing his head against our asses, so we can get off the cliff before it collapsed and to a stable ground.
Well, he did so and he pretty much collapsed as well because he used all of his strength to get us to safety as well. Then the fake Applejack said to him, “Tisk, tisk, tisk Mac Farmer. It was a shame, you could have really proved to me that you were actually better than me. It looks like you will be continued to be shunned from the apple family once more.”
Then, Mac got up and he said, “No I didn’t you bitch. I did prove myself that I was better then you. I saved my friends, something that you could not do, so up yours you bitch. Let’s go guys.”
Surprisingly, he did make a bit sense there in what he said. Let me explain what I mean by this. If you recall how Applejack showed honesty, she showed it through telling Twilight to let go. Now, here’s the thing, what if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy wasn’t able to rescue Twilight when she needed to be saved?
Applejack could try her hardest to pull up Twilight, but, really, she couldn’t. Unless she was on steroids, then maybe she could. That, and he also proved that his jealousy actually save us. You think it would be a bad thing, but in the end, or in this type of situation, it isn’t.
I mean, as long as Mac believes that what he does with his friends, or in other words, us, can be better the his cousin Applejack, his jealousy can save us and shit.
In addition, I should possibly say this before we continue with this adventure of mine.
You might be confused on as to why we could not just jump off the falling part of the cliff, but somehow, that evil clone bitch somehow put a spell on us, that makes us unable to move, but if someone else pushes us, we could move. I still don’t know where she came up with that spell or how the spell even exists, but ok then. We’re just going to pretend hat it somehow it exists and not question…at all.
Well, we then walked for a bit, and by the way, the fake Applejack disappeared, go figure.
Well, we got a decent amount traveled into the forest, and we eventually got the point where we were seeing more trees than anything else. Then, the Celestia clone bitch did it again, by making scary faces onto the trees. Now, if you recall with my lie, that I said that my friends were scared and shit of the trees.
Well…at least I think. Fuck it man, I cannot keep track with all my lies here man. I would need a file cabinet or something to keep track how many lies that I have said so far with my life’s story.
Well, whatever I said, my friends were not scared, neither was I. I mean, we just looked at it, and were wondering to ourselves, ‘what the fuck is the Celestia clone bitch trying to do here, scare us?
Well, if it was trying to scare us, it wasn’t working not one bit. Well, as we were walking through the trees, and being confused as to why the clone was trying to do this, Forest said, “Well, these might be retarded looking trees, but at least they look kind of real.”
Then Jack said, “Let me stop you right there, it’s not kind of real looking trees. You can obviously tell that these are fakes, because I know a guy that can do a much better job at this.”
Then Arrell asked, “Who is this guy you speak of? I might need him for a job on scaring the animals to have sex with one another if he can do it.”
Then Jack said, “Sadly, it’s me. I don’t get out as much as I used to, however, I can do some sort of shit like this, depending on what I have and shit.”
Yea, there is another thing I did not mention about jack that was a lie that I told you all. If you recall how he sometimes helps Mac and shit. Well, half of that was a lie.
He doesn’t sell furniture or shit like that, but he does try to get that classy type of style into Cantorlot, so he can be credited for shit for bringing something awesome in. That, and so Princess Celestia could thank him with something.
However, what else I didn’t mention was that Jack as this a bit of an artistic thing to him. He makes suits and can sometimes make designs of some sort, whenever he can.
Really, he’s that guy from My Little Dashie. He says he works, but he never specifically says what he does for a living other then he has a job. I’m just not sure anymore what Jack does, but it’s pretty safe to bet that he does suits and designs and shit.
Well, we were walking for about almost half a mile, and Mac eventually said, “Does these trees ever end? I mean, I think we’ve been walking in circles here.”
Then Neon came the FUCK out of nowhere, and he said, “I might be a source of assistance.”
Then I asked Neon, “What do you mean a source?”
Then Neon said, “Well, I can certainly help you guys out through these mazes of trees.”
I then asked, “How so?”
Then Neon said, “Why Knight, it’s simple as one, two, and three.”
Then Neon took out a guitar and started to sing. Before he started to sing, I said, “How the fuck is singing is going to help us out Neon?”
Then Neon said, “Oh, you’ll see Knight. You will see. Just sit back and watch.”
Then, Neon started to sing the lyrics, which was this.
I’ll cook up some meth with the black guy ponies that I know, They say normal white guy ponies saves the trouble, but I prefer Zebras! I then got AIDS from a bitch down at the market with my pet, There’s hardly enough meth to last for a single seconds for they are snorted away! Watch as I use my randomness, Eye of the shit bag soup lemonade, What as the this problem turn to shit, Make a black hole, jump in! Crack stew, do you smell the fear guys? Sometimes life is a total bitch, served up with a penguin’s asshole Toss the bitch and, Save the weed and, AIDS and cancer, fucks and shits, Narration, inception, Illegal dicing, dead body slicing, Trees are rising, horrifying Neon if you’re hearing this it means that you fucked everything up Please don’t fuck it up more; just don’t do a single thing you piece of shit My randomness is preheated and I’ve got you in my trap Let’s beat these oaks and save my coke by destroying the universe! Watch as I use my randomness Spike Lee tears and Sean Connery Mod out the outcasts of Warcraft Someday, I’m going to a dome.
Someday, I’m going to a dome.
Yea, I didn’t think Neon could use that song, pinkie’s brew and fuck it up. However, I do have to give him credit though for using rhymes, because that is not what he usually uses whenever he’s singing and shit.
In addition, I should mention while Neon was singing his song, the trees slowly got up and walked away. It’s as if they were from the Lord of the Rings or something. Maybe they are from that universe.
Well, if it’s true, then we just have to destroy the ring in which he was made from, which is apparently the universe or some shit like that, or was it crafted by midgets. Yea, it was crafted by midgets…I mean elves…midgets.
Then again, I’m pretty sure it was them, but then, who the fuck cares nowadays, am I right? Well, when the trees got up and walked away, we saw how much open space there was.
Apparently, we were about fifty yards or so till the endless sea of trees ended if Neon did not do what he did. When we saw this, I said, “Uhhh….What the fuck Neon?”
Then Neon said to me, “Well, it’s just what I do. I do random shit. Now onwards towards our destination! Onwards my companions!”
Then Neon floated up and we didn’t see him for about an hour or so. Well, after he left us for about an hour or so, Forest said, “Wow, there’s a lot of space here without those shitty looking trees.”
Then Jack said, “I kind of wish we had those trees back. I feel lonely now since they’re gone.”
He had a point there. With so much space without the trees, it felt like shit to just be there. Well, we then continued to walk for about a mile more.
However, of course the clone bitch was up to her usual tricks once more, and was following us. Then, she saw an opportunity to fuck us up some more.
We were walking right by a cave and the clone bitch went into the cave and found a menticore. Well she went up to it, and let us just says, she started to give it a hoof-job.
Yea, he was trying to get the menticore horny or something, which I don’t know if the clone bitch enjoyed it or not, but from what I’ve seen, she went right at it.
Well, the menticore was enjoying, until she stopped, and the menticore was pissed off that his pleasure was gone. Then, he went on a rampage, saw us, and decided to kill us. Yea, that clone bitch knew what she was doing.
Well, we walked right past the cave and shit, and by the time the menticore was pissed off, we were away from the entrance to the cave. Therefore, we were a bit a lucky I suppose.
So, we were chased, until Arrell found a nice smooth rock. Then, Arrell picked it up and yelled at us, “Hey! Stop running! I’ve got an idea!”
I then yelled back, “All you’re going o do is make him more pissed off if you throw that rock at him! I’m sorry buddy, but you’re fucked!”
Then Arrell just shrugged what I said off and threw the rock in front of the menticore. The beast stopped in his tracks for a bit, and stared at it. Then, the menticore started top fuck the rock.
When we saw this, we went up to Arrell and Jack asked, “What the fuck is going on here?”
Then Arrell explained, “Well, since I work with animals and breed them and shit, I should know when an animals is horny. I mean, trust me, I know this shit because I’ve been breeding animals for years. That and I’ve made new creations and shit among those years that I’ve breaded animals and took care of them.”
I then said, “You take care of animals?”
Then Arrell said, “Well, more or less, or something like that. I mostly breed them and have a farm of animals. Anyways, yea, I just solved the problem.”
Then Forest asked, “But how is it getting its pleasure? I mean, he can’t really have sex with a rock.”
Then Arrell said, “Actually he can. I’m not sure how, but I’ve forced animals to have sex with a rock before, but I’m never sure what comes out because the chick animal always dies before she can give birth.”
I then asked Arrell, “So, is that a female manticore?”
Then Arrell said, “Nope, it’s a male.”
I then asked, “Then how…”
Arrell then cut me off and he said, “I wouldn’t question it, for I don’t know the answer to it either.”
Then, the menticore was eventually finished and came all over the rock. Then he had a face of relief and went back to his cave to masturbate. Well then, that was quite an interesting thing that I saw to which I never wish to see ever happen again.
Anyway, somehow the rock got pregnant and within nine seconds, the rock gave birth to a moon crab somehow.
I then had my ‘what the fuck’ face on, as I tried to make sense of it. I then asked Arrell, “Arrell, how is that even possible?”
Then Arrell said, “I don’t know, but all that matters is that I’ve created a new creature. Who knows, maybe if it fights well, I can use it for an animal army, as long as it doesn’t hate me when I try to force it to breed with other animals of course.”
Then Arrell went up to the moon crab, and he bent down near it. He then said, “Come here you little fucker, I’m going to take you home with me.”
The moon crab struggled a bit to get away from Arrell, which, the moon crab was right to do so in the first place, but he was unfortunate, and got caught.
However, the moon crab then tried to struggle somehow, while Arrell said, “I got you know you son of a bitch. You’re going to have a fun time fucking animals when we get back.”
Then the moon crab used it’s pinchers and pinched Arrell’s nose. Then Arrell let go of the moon crab, and the moon crab then tried to crawl away.
However, Arrell was pissed at this and tried to chase after it.
However, as he did so, Neon came back, and stopped Arrell. Then Neon just creepily stared at Arrell for a few seconds, and then turned his attention to the moon crab. Then he said aloud, “Ob boy! A moon crab!”
Then Neon transported all of us, including the moon crab itself, to the moon. Yes, and strangely enough, we could somehow breathe in space.
I was not sure how, but then again, maybe it was Neon that was keeping us from suffocating. However, then again, Luna was banished to the moon for a thousand years, and she could breath fine in space.
However, of course she was an alicorn, so maybe she could breath because she was an alicorn, but the rest of us can’t breathe, because we’re not alicorns, and just regular douchebag ponies who are pretty much worthless…in a way.
Well, all of us, except for Neon, were wondering where the fuck we were on the moon. In fact, we didn’t know why were on the moon, instead of being in the Everfree Forest, where we were most needed at, for Equestria was pretty much at stake here and it was in our hooves to stop the evil clone bitch from taking over Equestria and some shit like that.
Anyways, we started to follow Neon, which Neon followed the moon crabs. Well, we went walked with them for about ten minutes, to which we were lead to an army of moon crabs.
In fact, I think some of them were plotting to invade Equestria and plot evil schemes and shit. Well, we saw this, while Neon joined the moon crabs.
Then Forest asked, “Neon do you know what the fuck is going on here!?”
Then Neon said with a smile that was creepy on his face still, “Why, we these moon crabs are having a moon crab party on the moon!”
I then said to Neon, “We don’t have time for that Neon. Equestria is at stake here! Just take us back down to Equestria, so we can finish this off with the evil clone bitch so we can all move on with our lives!”
Then Neon said, “But if we do such a thing, you guys will miss the moon crab party these moon crabs were just about to have. In fact, I was going to play a song for them.”
Then Neon somehow grabbed his guitar out of thin air or wherever the fuck he puts his things at in the first place.
Then, he started to sing a song that is similar to rock lobster from Family Guy.
One day, a guy was walking on the moon, He was playing a game, Called Black ops zombies! He was playing on the moon one day, Having some fun. Then he came across a rock! But it wasn’t any ordinary rock. It was a moon crab! Moon crab! Moon Crab! Moon Crab!
Then Neon was finished singing and he put his guitar…somewhere deep within the universe that is not within my grasp of my hooves.
Anyways, I was even surprised at the time that Neon even knew what Black Ops even was, along with the zombie mode with it and the moon map as well. Well, Neon finished singing his song, and when he did so, he put his guitar away, like I said, however, before he did so, he had a smile on his face.
Then Neon said to us, “Alright, I’m done. We can go now.”
Then Neon did his shit, and we were able to continue our mission and shit. Well, we then waited for Neon to walk back to us, however, when he got to us, he kept walking towards the way we came. Then Arrell said, “Neon, what the fuck are you doing!? I though you said that you were done!?”
Then Neon said to us, “I am done, we just need to walk back to the spot that we came from in order to get back to Equestria.”
Then I asked, “Why do we have to do that? Can’t you just teleport us back to Equestria from where we’re standing?”
Then Neon said, “I can, but you wouldn’t understand what I would need to do that. It would just be easier in order to get back to Equestria from the spot we came in.”
Then we were about to complain, but knew eventually figured out within like ten seconds or so, that it would be pointless to argue with Neon.
Besides, I didn’t feel like getting ass raped by a bunch of monkey bees that are one steroids who have plastic bottles for a dick, which are summoned by Neon because we argued with him.
In fact, I saw that happen to a pony once, who was just asking Neon for directions to get to the party store. Yea, I am still trying to repress those memories, of seeing that mare, being raped by monkey bees that are on steroids and have plastic bottles for dicks. It was just awful.
Well, putting that horrible memory aside that I will possibly never ever forget in my entire pony life, we eventually got to the spot where we came in from and Neon used his randomness to get us all back home.
Well, we then got back to the Everfree Forest, and we were at the spot where we left. We then had a pissed looked at Neon, and then Jack asked, “Neon! Why didn’t you just teleported us to the castle, so we don’t have to go that far and shit!?”
Then Neon said, “I know I could have done that you silly. We would just miss all the fun and shit. We, we are off now!”
Then a British guy that looked like he was from the 1900’s with that light-ish-brown color on his cargo cloths along with a black mustache was flowering Neon as well.
He even had a monocle on and that weird whip as if thingy, along with old tarred up maps and a good ol’ rifle gun from the early days when British people were not wizards, but racists to blacks and called Muslims.
They called them, weird people whom worships and guy that they are not allowed to see and not see they are hot women that they can rape. That joke could have been better, but in all honesty, that is what British people did back in those early days and shit.
Anyways, that British looking guy was walking right behind Neon, but in pony form, and he asked us nicely with his big British buck teeth, “Good day to you fine gentleman or should I say colts, as these ponies call that around here. I would like to ask you good sirs a fine ol’ question. Do any of you know where I can find the biggest elephants around, for I am on quest dear sirs? I am on a quest to go around the world and venture off to find the weirdest and exotic things, so that I may have stories to tell when I get back to my dear homeland that I love so dearly. That, and I can impress the women as well and they will be amazed and in ‘awe’, as I tell them daring adventures that I might have, while I have a tent set up and having a good ol record player on and drinking some tea. Now, does any of you fine gents would like to join me, for we could travel the world and see many things, doe we are gentleman, and we are man as well. So, what do you, fine sirs say?”
I then said to the weird British guy who just walked into our business, “Who the fuck are you, where did you come from, and why should we care?”
Then the British guy was a bit pissed off from me dropping the good ol’ fashioned F-bomb on him, and he said, “Well then, I thought you were all gents, but clearly, I was wrong. Now, good day to you sirs! I will just have keep my tea all to myself. Good day!”
Really, in all honesty here, and what we’re all thinking, is that he was just over reacting to the F-bomb that I dropped. I mean really, it isn’t that bad. Sure, I might have dropped the F-bomb many of times before, but in all seriousness, does anyone really care?
I mean, I know what the F-bomb means, but I just use it because it kind…I don’t know where I was going with that, but that British guy still over reacted to me saying ‘fuck’.
Anyways, we really do not know what happened to that British guy. Some say he got lost in the Everfree Forest. Some say a telephone pole raped him with a buffalo upchucking penguins piss. Others say, he saw a tree filled with babies, and he lit the tree on fire, with the babies on it.
It was also said that it was a thousand babies, and he herd their screams of pains. To the British guy, it was music to his ears. To him, it was his classical music, from the old days such as that one orchestral composer, who was deaf. You know that one that also had the same name with that dog who had shitty movies along with it.
I mean, it has been years since I studied Earth history and shit. Anyways, the truth is whatever you want it to be, or in other words, whatever you believe in of course.
However what I believe, is that the British guy was Flowering Neon and Neon killed him, and chances are, that’s a safe to bet that’s what happened to the British guy that we never saw again, but he will forever live on in Hogwarts, for he is a wizard, and all British people are wizards.
Well, we then caught up with Neon, who had just finished killing that one British guy who we never saw again, who never got his tea. Anyways, we then came across a river that had rapids in it.
Well, we were certainly fucked, weren’t we? I said to everyone, “Well then. Fuck. Well, it looks like we failed our mission then.”
Then Jack said to me, “Now wait, we can just find out a way across this very dangerous rapid river.”
Then we all looked at him and gave him that look that said, ‘seriously you fucking idiot?’
Then I said, “What are we going to jack? Unless we find a way to forge through the river or find a bridge of some sort, or a path of stable rocks we could jump on to get to the other side, I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere. Besides, we can’t find an alternative path because the river goes on for miles in one direction, while other end leads to a fucking waterfall. So either way, we’re fucked unless there is another way we can get across.”
Then, something came out of the water. We ten heard some splashing noises and shit, to which we saw a water serpent come out of the water.
He was crying and I asked aloud “What’s with this gay water serpent thingy animal?”
Then the water serpent said, “First off, I will have you know that I’m a half gay and half queer, thank you very much.”
I then said to him, “Ah, I see. I should’ve known that, I mean, your voice and the way you cry just sounds…off to me.”
Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to me, “Why are you trying to make things even more badly for me. Can’t you see I have problems?”
Then I said to him, “Look pal, we all have problems, but that doesn’t mean you should bitch about it twenty-four/seven.”
Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to me, “Well, I can’t help it. My queer side of me is too queer, while the gay side doesn’t do anything at all.
Now, I am just going to stand here in your way and complain about my other side of my mustache is gone, and that generous Rarity, who gave me her tail, is now gone forever. I shall stand here, until I get another mustache, because that is what queers do best. Why is my purple mustache gone?”
I then thought to myself, ‘what a wonderful world. No, wait, why am I thinking that Louis Armstrong song? Whatever, it does not matter. However, what an attention whore.
How did the Elements of fucking Harmony even deal with this gay sea serpent thingy? I really do not know what he is.
What is he anyways? Well, then again, the show did rather go off Greek myths, so I am guessing it has something to do with Greeks. Either the fat, harry, Speedo wearing Greeks, or the those tough, jocks, drunken asshole college Greeks.
I wonder if the show ever based off the creatures off that college Greeks anyways. That would be quite interesting, but not good, nonetheless. I have no idea what I just said there.
Maybe I should stop thinking and return my attention to this gay sea serpent thingy.’ I then turned my attention back to the gay sea serpent thingy. I was about to say something, until Jack spoke up and he said, “I have an idea! Ok, I believe I have a plan on how for you to get a mustache so it will look good on you, and you can leave us the fuck alone so we can figure out a way to cross the river.”
Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to Classy Jack, “Really, you do have an idea? Well then, what is it good gentlecolt, on how I may get my glorious mustache back?”
Then Jack explained to the sea serpent, “Well, I won’t be able to figure out a way to get your other side to grow back, but, here’s my idea. First, you shave the other side of your mustache. Second, get a job at a gym, and work out a bit, because you are going to need muscles for this. Soon, make friends with a sea serpent that sounds like a Zebra and that isn’t gay or queer. Also, make sure he is a body builder as well.
Then, as soon as you two have built up your friendship, you try to get one more guy in your group, same requirements. The next step is to find a guy that is rich, as a lot of money and bitch and fancy things, along with a big ass house and a awesome mustache that you like.
Then, while no one else is looking, kidnap him, torture him at a warehouse, and make him sign over the paper work, where he will sign off all the assets to you.
Then, once that happens, make sure you kill him, so he does not go to anybody for help because you kidnapped him. However, I would suggest setting him on fire…somehow under water. Then, you party like a mother fucker all night and long, while have a sweet mustache to have. Also, if you ever need more money and bitchs, just does the same process again, minus gather the team part though.”
Yea…Jack just described almost the entire plot to Pain and Gain right there. I mean, how stupid that gay sea serpent is? That plan did not work for those 90’s people, it certainly won’t work for him.
However, the gay sea serpent thingy then said to Jack, “Why, that is the best idea I’ve ever heard in my life! Where did you come up with such a great strategy?”
Then Jack shit, “Uhhhhhh……..fucking shit?”
Then the gay sea serpent thingy said, “Close enough. Thank you my friends, for giving me such a great idea to do. As to show my thanks, I shall help you across this river.”
Then the gay sea serpent then stretched out his back or made humps for us to jump across on, so we could get to the other side for this instance. What an asshole, why didn’t he just like stretched a certain amount of his back out so we don’t have to jump across? Then again, what fuck do I know about gay sea serpent thingies?
Also, just in case if you’re curious what happened to the gay serpent, the planned failed, but the serpent got away with it. In other words, here’s what happened to him.
He went back into the water and shit, and since it is a small area of water, there wasn’t much rich serpents around that had lots of money bitchs, however, the gay serpent spotted him, and stared at him.
Then, he did what Jack said, and joined a gym and made friends with a serpent that sounded like a black guy sort of speak. Then, he made friends with the same type of guy, but he just got out of prison and was doing crack.
Then, they kidnapped him, made him signed over all of his assets and toured him as well. Then the gay serpent cut off his mustache, put it on his face, and killed him, or so they thought.
Yea, the gay serpent fucked up and did not make sure that he was dead, however, no one believed the serpent that was kidnapped that he was kidnapped, and the gay serpent almost got away with it.
However, they were soon losing money and they were hungry once more. Therefore, they ended up trying to kidnap a serpent that made a shit load of porn, but ended up killing him and his wife, and they tried to get rid of the evidence, but failed to do so.
Soon, a serpent that strangely enough was named Ed Harris, looked, and sounded like him too caught them. Then, they were brought to court, however, the gay serpent confessed and said that his two friends made him they’re hostage and bitch, mad made him do whatever they wanted and said that he was forced to kidnap a serpent and shit.
The judge believed his sad sop story and mentioned that since the place is filed with magic and shit, that no one really cared if he was lying or not, and the gay serpent’s friends were scented to death, and the gay serpent lived happily ever after with his mustache that he wanted, fuck you, the end. Wow, well then, I have to give that gay serpent some credit there, that he actually did something that was good…I think.
Whatever, this is a fucked up world that we live in anyways. Well, since your curiosity is out of the way, let us continue here.
Well, we then were walking we could see that abandoned castle in the distance. However, one problem was standing in our way, a fucking broken bridge. I then said aloud, “Mother Fucker! A fucking bridge that’s fucking broken on the other side! Come on! When the fuck will that clone bitch fucking stop with putting obstacles in our fucking way!?”
Then Forest hovered up a bit, and he said to me, “Don’t worry Knight. This is no problem here. I can just go on the other side and bring the bridge back over here and we can go to the castle and find the elements to fight the evil clone bitch.”
I then said to Forest, “You do realize that this is a trap for you. You might want to be careful when trying to get the bridge. The evil clone bitch might try to seduce you or something.”
Then Forest said, as he was flying across the gap to get to the bridge, “Don’t worry, it’s a piece of cake.”
Yea, if that piece of cake gave you diabetes and fucked your life over. Well, Forest then went to get the bridge, and which he did, however, he saw something deep within the mist. Forest then asked, “Hello!? Is any pony there? Don’t fucking try to scare me, or I’ll fuck you up, because…I don’t know but I believe I can do the fire boom!”
Then, what came out of the mist, was the evil clone bitch, or disguised as Rainbow Dash of course.
I mean, the evil clone bitch would not just be out in the open and reveal herself, even though it doesn’t matter though. Well, then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said to Forest, “Hello Forest.”
Then, when Forest saw this, he had his mouth opened and his jaw dropped, as well as a boner as he wanted to clop right that very moment.
Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said to Forest, “I have been admiring you from afar. I believe you also noticed me. I know that you have a crush on my Forest for over twenty years.”
Then Forest said, “Umm…I wasn’t stalking you or anything, nor did I make a shrine in my bedroom to you or anything…”
Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said, “Shhhhhhhh…I understand handsome. You do not have to be nervous around me. Besides, I have a crush on you too.”
Then Forest asked, “You…you do?”
Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said, “Oh yes, for a very long time, ever since we met each other’s eyes, even if it was for a split of a second. Now then, come with me, and we can make love all night long in my house, and we can do whatever you want. I even will be your bitch for the night and give you a blowjob to go along with it. Then, we can go on dates and have a perfect little family together.”
Then Forest came all over the ground, while the clone said, “That cum of yours is making me so horny right now Forest. Now just follow me, and we can do it…honey.”
Then Forest said, “Sure, I’ll do it, but first, let me just put this bridge up before the guys bitch about me taking forever and shit.”
Then the clone said, “No! You either leave the bridge down or make love to me or you don’t have me at all. Now then, what is your choice then Forest?”
Then Forest said, “Well, first off, the answer is no. I mean, I know you’re the evil clone bitch and all, I mean, your disguises aren’t fooling any pony here. However, I was willing to have sex with a clone of Rainbow Dash, because, well, as long as you looked like her and good in bed, I would have been fine with it and actually pretend that you are the real Rainbow Dash. However, you’re not really that worth it anyways. So, goodbye you stuck up bitch.”
Then as Forest was about to get to us, he then slipped on his own come and fell into the valley, or that hold that looked bottomless, but it’s really not. Well then, isn’t that just dandy.
Well, we didn’t know that Forest fell, except for me and all with the off the grid powers and shit like that. Well, Forest fell and he ended up at the bottom. Well, Forest didn’t get hurt that much, but somehow, there was a portal that lead to other universe, and Forest went through one.
Well, he did and he ended up in the Halo universe, but an alternate one though, not the legit one. Sorry Halo fan boys, but fuck you. Well, there were two Spartans. One was a guy who adventured a lot, while the other one was normal.
Well, the adventure one asked, “Are you ready for adventure Timothy!?”
Then the guy next to him said, “Not really. I mean, what is up with you and adventuring nowadays?”
Then the adventure said, “Well then, I need someone to go on an adventure with!”
Then Forest came though he landed right next to the adventure guy. The guy asked, “You, Technicolor talking pony!? Would you like to go on an adventure with me!?”
Then Forest said, “An adventure? Fuck yea mother fucker!”
Then the adventure guy said, “Then let’s go my fellow Campion. Adventure!!!”
Then the adventure guy dropped down to the ground, while Forest said to the other Spartan, “Come on whatever the fuck you are! Adventure awaits us!”
Then both of them dropped down to the ground and followed the adventure guy. Eventually, Forest got a gun started to shoot random Spartans with the adventure guy, while saying, “Adventure!”
Very loudly. Soon, Forest got up to the counter and said, “Put the money in the bag! Or I’ll adventure your god dam face off!”
Then the other normal Spartan said, “Are we robbing a fucking bank!?”
Then the adventure guy said, “We’re adventuring a bank timothy, keep up.”
Then the adventure guy killed someone else. Soon the police came in. Soon, the adventure guy said, “No fear timothy. They will never catch us, because we have Adventure! Adventure!!!”
The adventure guy then used a jet pack and hovered away with the money, and Forest and the other Spartan was left there alone.
However, soon, a train came in and hit Forest and Forest was once again transported to another universe, that was not a rip off of Sanity Not Included.
This time, it was the Inception universe. Forest was in that dream like city with good ol’ Leo and got off the front of the train and shit, Soon, he was right next to good ol’ Leo and Leo said, “Why is the guy that we’re after have projectiles now have Technicolor talking ponies?”
Then Forest said, “I could possibly help out with your adventure if you let me.”
Then Leo said, “Well, we do need another guy to shoot and kill projectiles that are after us. Fine then, can handle a gun?”
Then Forest said, “I sure can whatever a ‘gun’ is?”
Then Leo said, “Close enough.”
Ten Leo handed Forest his gun and he said, “All right now! Listen up! Maul is after us, and we have limited time. So we need to get into the dirty white van, put the guy in the fan and we’re going to the second dream level. This pony here will be our eagle in the sky and protect the van from harm up above. Now let’s move it people!”
Soon, Leo and his gang got into the dirty white van and left, while Forest was there eye in the sky and protect it. Forest killing projectiles from left to right, and surprisingly knew how to use a gun in the first place.
Soon, he got close to the ground and was having himself a good ol’ massacre. While Forest was doing that, he said very loudly, “Adventure!”
Soon, another portal opened up and he went into another universe, which were then the transformer’s universe. Well, Forest was on an Earth like planet, which sadly, is that bay film’s that he was in.
Well, Forest was in the Bumble Bee car, and soon, the car transformed into the robot.
Then Forest was on top of the transformer and Optimums Prime came the fuck out of nowhere and he said to Forest, “You have chosen wisely. Would you like to go on awesome adventure, see fewer cloths and people, explosions, giant ass robots, and other shit?”
Then Forest said, “Well, that doesn’t sound like much of an adventure, but ok then.”
Then Prime said, “Good, because shit just got real here.”
Soon, Forest was seeing all of what Prime just said, and eventually fell into another portal, which was the Harry Potter universe and he was in the woods, while Harry was there.
Well, Harry then came up to Forest and said, “Hello random pony that came from nowhere, would you like to help me defeat Voldermolt?”
Then Forest said, “Sure, as long as it’s an adventure.”
Then Forest defeated Voldermolt and flew up high in the sky to celebrate, but ended up going through another portal…again.
Then, he landed on Earth, the legit Earth. It was the year 2020, or for you guys by the time you get this, the past, or at the time, the present.
Anyways, two whiter people, two males, were at OJ Simpson’s house.
The first one said, “You know what, I don’t think OJ did kill those people.”
The second guy said, “Yea, he is really nice guy and not a murder. I mean, I don’t think he did murder those people. Although I wonder who did kill them though.”
Then Forest flew and somehow killed both of them. Then Forest was on the ground, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened and shit. Forest also said, “Owwweeeee. Adventure? Oh god, please don’t be dead. Wakey wakey dead bodies. Oh god, I don’t know what you are, but ewe, Fuck it man, I hope I didn’t ruin anyone’s life now.”
Then Forest flew back to his own universe, while O.J. Walked through the door. He said, “Alright guys, I’m home… Oh god! Not again! Why does this keep happening to me! Why does everyone else keep killing whoever is my friend. I mean, the last Batman did it! Why!?”
Yea, that Batman thing, well…you see…what happened was a funny story…fuck it, I’m not explaining it. It’s just another funny story for another time.
Anyways, O.J. Was crying in tears, while Forest finally got back to his own universe. While we were waiting for Forest, we were bored as shit. I mean, we were waiting got Forest for about three hours and the sunrise was almost up.
I then said to every pony there, “Where the fuck is Forest? He should’ve been here three hours ago.”
Then Mac said, “Yea, he would’ve been here if it wasn’t for a certain somepony.”
Then, we were looking at the evil clone bitch. Yes, the evil clone bitch was bored as shit too, and was right next to us, because we weren’t across the bridge and shit wasn’t happening.
The evil clone bitch said, “Well, it wasn’t me that did it. I mean, sure, I did something to Forest, but he just feel down.”
Then I said to the evil clone bitch, “Yea, sure, whatever you say you fucking bitch.”
Then Forest eventually came with the bridge and connected it. Soon, Arrell asked, “Forest, where the fuck were you!?”
Then Forest said, “I don’t know.”
Forest said that along with a smile on his face, just as if Family Guy did. Anyways, we then said to the evil clone bitch that we would meet her in the castle and shit.
Soon, the evil clone bitch left to go to the abandoned castle, and we walked across the bridge. Eventually, we were at the abandoned castle and we entered the front two doors. Once we saw the interior of the place, we were awed by how big the place was.
I mean, whoever built the place was fucking high or was just taking things a bit too far, because no one really needed that much of a place, but whatever. Eventually, we walked around the castle for a bit, and eventually found the rooms where the elements were at…which were hid in fucking stone. Really, did the elements have to be hid in stone?
I mean, what purpose does that even have. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore since that was the past and this is now. Fuck it, the past is more important than shit.
Well, we all helped and got the five elements down, but the last one was not there and shit, but I recall in the show, it was not revealed.
Well, we then stared at the balls of stone and Mac questioned, “So, now what do we do?”
I then said to every pony else, “Well, I believe I have to use like my magic to get the elements open and shit.”
Then my friends started to walk away from, while Mac said, “Well, good luck with that then.” If you need us, we’ll be doing some kind of shit that we don’t know what we’re doing outside.”
When my friends left me, I then said, “Assholes.”
I then turned my attention to the elements and I said to myself, “Now then, how the fuck do I get these bastards open. Where is an axe pick at when you need one?”
Well, then the evil clone bitch teleported into the room, and my friends saw this, and the evil clone bitch too me to the other end of the castle, which is where the Elements of Harmony found the elements at when this happened to them. Well, my friends saw this, and surprisingly, they cared about me, and Forest asked, “Where did Knight go?”
Then Jack went towards the window and he said, “I believe the evil clone bitch took Knight to the other end of the castle.”
Then Mac said, “Son of a mother fucking bitch! Now we have to walk some more! I mean, that’s got to be five more miles before we get to the other end.”
Then Neon said, “Let’s go!”
Then my friends were ont here way to me. Well, the evil clone bitch had me in her trap, and she said to me, “You fool, you will never get the elements of protection now, since you haven’t even crack open the stone balls.”
I then said, “That’s what they’re called? The elements of protection? Well, I guess it makes some sort of sense, but I don’t understand how that is supposed to relate to me and my friends.”
However, the evil clone bitch had not listened to a single word that I said and she continued to say, “You will never get the elements, for I will kill Celestia, for she had forgotten about me and I shall rule all of Equestria!”
Then I said, “Wow, you’re so original. You know what bitch, how about actually doing something different for once, and not trying to just take over Equestria. I mean, what is so great about it? All it is just happy ponies and shit, nothing more than that. I mean, sure, you have some slaves if you took over Equestria, but what the fuck do you want them to do? I mean, there’s basically nothing that they can do and shit.”
Then, the evil clone bitch still didn’t hear what I said, and she said, “You sdare challenge me to a duel? Well then, so be it then, but I will warn you, that your death, will not be quick, nor will it be painless.”
I then asked the evil clone bitch, “What the fuck are you even talking about? I mean, seriously, do you not hear what I’m saying?”
Then the evil clone bitch charged at me, while yelling, “Lerroy Jenkins!”
Then I said, “Oh, so you listen to the internet videos or wherever you heard that from, but not to me. Know what, fuck you bitch, fuck you right up the asshole.”
Then, I teleported before she could hit me and I was with the elements and shit. Then the evil clone bitch was a bit more pissed off and shit at me, but whatever, it didn’t really mattered.
However, right after I teleported, and saw the stone elements, I then realized who did represent the elements of protection. Yea, I kind of notice pattern from time to time and shit somewhat fast.
Well, I then said to the evil clone bitch, “You know what you bitch? I can defeat you, because I have the know who represent the elements now!.”
Then the evil clone bitch said, “You don’t have the elements you dumbass. I mean, how you could possibly know by now…”
Then Mac cut the evil clone bitch off, and he said, “Fucking finally! We’re here! God that was such a fucking bitch to trek through the ruins.
Whatever, let’s just try to fucking get rid of this evil clone bitch so we can go home.”
I then said to the evil clone bitch, “You see I slowly connected the patterns, and the elements are friends…in a fucked up way!”
I then quickly used a spell to break the stone balls, which I should have done in the first place, but whatever, that was the past, this is the…present-pass?
Well, anyways, I then started to list the elements the names and shit. I said to the evil clone bitch, “My fiend Mac Farmer represents the element of Envy! My friend Neon Party represents the element of Randomness! My friend Arrell, represents the element of creation! My friend Classy Jack represents the element of strategy! My friend Forest Fire represents the element of Adventure! As for the last element, I represent, somehow, the element of strength!”
Now, as I was calling of the elements and my friends, they slowly started to float like a posed person by a demon and they had something to go along with their element.
Mac and Neon had rings to go over their forelegs with their cutie marks. Oh right, and I forgot to mention their cute marks as well.
Mac was something with apples, while Neon had like Neon glows sticks.
As for Arrell, Forest, and Jack had their elements as necklaces, but whatever, it looked ok on them.
Their cutie marks was a Wolf like animal for Arrell, a cloud with a fire streak next to it for Forest, and a suit for Jack.
Well, for Jack, there’s really nothing better then what he could have gotten, so…I guess it’s ok with him?
Well, as for me, I got my element, as a crown, however, since I don’t have a cutie mark, or what the kids say these days, a blank flank (Stupid seven year old kids)
It was just a white round stone on the crown. Soon, we all hovered up, and instead of rainbows coming out, a light blue-ish beam of light happened, which weakened the evil clone bitch, along with a rainbow to finish it off.
Therefore, yea, we had two things instead of one. Take that you fucking elements of Harmony. Anyways, the evil clone bitch was on the ground, weak and tired, while we slowly decided down.
However, instead of being happy and shit, we were tired too and in shock. Then Forest said aloud, “Om y god! That felt weird!”
I then said, “That took a lot out of us!”
Then Jack said, “How the fuck does the elements of Harmony even do this every time when they need to use it?”
Yea, here’s the thing, what we felt when using the elements on, it felt like shit, and it took a lot out of us, so, yea. We wished we never had to use the elements ever again.
Anyways, You all must be wondering, what the fuck!? Why are these elements the way they are, and what my friends even did to represent them in the first place?
Well, I was just like that at first, but then I started to think about it for a while and it soon made sense to me.
You see, when Mac had to make a choice to either save us or fight clone Applejack, he chose what he chose through his envy, so he could prove that he is better than Applejack.
Neon…well…that is self-explanatory, so I don’t have to say a dam thing about that one. Arrell, gave a menticore a rock to fuck when it was horny, and made a moon crab, so, he is a creator or creation in this instance.
With Jack, well the gay sea serpent did say it, but he used a strategy, so it makes sense, but a bad one, but still a decent one…I’m confused.
As for Forest, he represents Adventure, for what he did through the other universes and shit.
As for me representing strength and shit, well, I have been through a lot in my life, and I certainly have the muscles for it, the knowledge to create weapons and shit like that, but whatever, it doesn’t really matter.
I am strong, and my will and sprit…fuck it, you get the point. However, if you are wondering how the fuck did this came to be, well, let me explain. If you know a little bit about Equestrian history, the bitch who was named something the clover or something. I don’t remember.
Well, she suggested about making elements of Harmony, instead of Star Swirl the breaded earlier suggesting of elements that fight or something like that.
Well, one colt in the croup pretty much disagreed with that clover bitch, and agreed to have elements that fight or are more powerful the Harmony. However, he knew that Celestia would not approve of such a thing, so, he worked on the elements in secret, and never told Celestia whenever he went to the meetings and shit.
He was unsociable, because he kept working on it day after day and always working hard on it.
Eventually, seven years after the elements of Harmony were created, the elements of protection were made, and were ready to go and be of some sort of us in the future.
The colt, which the name is unknown, because his never name was never recorded in any of the books. Well, he feared that something stronger then Harmony would one day come and will be horrible. So, the elements of protection was made to do such a purpose and fight that cannot be fought by the elements of Harmony. Well, the elements were envy.
With that one, it rather is the fuel of fighting I guess, in a way. It pretty much angers the soul and shit, and encourages fighting. As for creation, if there is any sort of battle going on, the element can create animals beyond out imagination to help fight.
As for Randomness, it can distract enemies or just fight as well, so, two in one I guess for that element.
As for strategy, whenever in a fight, there is a way that needs to be done depending on what situation that you’re in, and it helps to strategize and shit.
As for the adventure element, it just for one pony that is not afraid to go beyond where it is most dangerous of all places to go at, even for the elements of Harmony.
As for strength, it’s what a protection (and friendship) needs or something like that. Together, they make up the elements of Protection, or as what I like to call it, The Other Elements. You get ‘The Other Guys’ joke there or reference? You guys aren’t any fun.
Anyways, the colt then released the elements; it let it choose who represent the most of either element. However, when the colt was on his deathbed, Celestia was there to say her goodbyes to him and the colt died.
However, Celestia then went through his things, and she noticed that written down in his notebook, that he had made the elements of Protection, and she was a bit pissed off, but it was too late since he already released them.
However, Celestia did not see a purpose to them and wanted to destroy them immediately.
However, colt was a bit clever, because the elements had to be altogether in order for it to be destroyed, so, that colt guy was a bit smart when he was making them.
Well, Celestia still wanted them destroyed, so she started to rack the elements down. However, she kept running into a problem, of which whoever represents the element, would soon die of something and the element would quickly go to the next pony to posse the power of the element.
Therefore, Celestia didn’t give up, and hoped that one day that all the elements would be together, and she did, well, at least five of them. She could never find strength. That is the thing though.
You see, the night when I entered this universe, just happened to be the same night when the previous owner of the element, which keep in mind, he somehow knew of the element’s existence and he died.
Then the element then pretty much scanned the entire country of Equestria, with magic, and found me as the best candidate for the next element of strength.
However, I believe I do not want any more confusion over this, so let me tell you the previous owner of the element. He was running away from some group of colts, who really hated him and pretty much beat the hell out of him. He was not in trouble because he did not do anything bad, but let’s just say, that he knew of the element inside of him and that he represented it.
However, who wanted to spread the message around that there exists another group of elements, but unfortunately, no one believed, although some did, but those ponies are what we call escaped mental patients.
Anyways, a group loved the elements of Harmony so much, that they were dedicated to them and protected them against any sort of criticism that might be towards them.
Well, they saw this guy as a threat to the elements of Harmony and didn’t like it one bit. So, they gave him a warning, by slitting his girlfriend’s throat, skinning his cat and setting his house on fire. Yea, those rather remind me of those Bronies back on Earth who took everything really seriously, not fun, and who are assholes.
Well, the guy didn’t give up, but then he was given a last warning, and that last warning was toured him.
Well, he still did not stop, and that same night I went into the universe, he was pretty much a dead colt, and he did not make it unfortunately and he tried his best to run away, but the last thing he saw was the night’s stars and how it twinkled up above.
So, yea, ponies that saw the elements of Protection as a threat to the Elements of Harmony as a threat are pretty much assholes. I mean, they should not take everything seriously and let thing be what they need to be. However, have I encountered them?
Well…let’s just say, I made some sort of contact with them.
Well, that’s how I became the new element and shit.
However, after Celestia tracked down the five elements that she found, she then noticed that evil clone bitch of herself was plotting to come back, and soon, she understood what the colt was saying, because never really believed that the elements would be needed.
She always thought the element of Harmony could take care of almost everything, but in truth, it’s not all sunshine and happiness out there. There is some bad shit that can even destroy the Elements of harmony, but The Other Elements can handle it though.
Therefore, with Celestia afraid of when the evil clone bitch of returning, she was trying her best to find the element of strength, but could never find it, until after a few years at her school, she soon started to connect the dots and shit and figured that I was the element of strength.
Well, now you know, and the more you know.
As for what happened after we weakened the evil clone bitch, we saw the sun rose high in the sky, and Celestia came though a broken window and shit. She also had a smile on her face that said to me, ‘I’m so glad I did not destroy the elements.’
Although, I believe it should have been a trollestia smile. Anyways, evil clone bitch did go back inside Celestia and shit, and was once more a part of Celestia, although it kind of reminds me of Persona for some odd reason, and I can’t believe I’m making that kind of reference.
You got lucky Asians, you got lucky. Anyways, that shit happened, the town of stalia threw a party and shit, Luna, and Twilight were happy as well. In addition, that part where I yelled at Celestia and how she did not hear me say a single word, yea, that part, I wasn’t lying about. I know, I am surprised.
Anyways, that is the 100% truth of what really happened the Everfree forest that night, and shit.
I thought I was going to get away with it and I would have had less work to do with the writing and shit, but at least you will not be confused anymore.
So, anyways, I’m still on that phoenix and shit, and now I believe I should start heading back to the castle, before Celestia and Luna figures out that I was gone and kick my ass. And before someone recreates an old school shooting from the 90's...since it's retro and stuff, we all did get back to Stalia for a celebration for defeating the evil clone along with staying in Stalia with my new 'friends.' Really there wasn't much to talk about, but you get the idea though...
Next Time: Knight: Our purpose of being together has ended, but I am staying with my new friends. However, I am not sure why the universe is making relive the moments from the show, or making others hear something different when I don’t say the right words, but for now, I just have to play along with the universe until I have answers or my will is free. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 4: Apple Bucking a Douchebag
Chapter 4, The Trolling Celestia and the Gala Tickets
Well, guess what, just like in the show, I was helping Mac Farmer buck some apples. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this.
Therefore, of course, since I was a Brony, I knew this was going to be the one where I receive two gala tickets, and I can go with one guess.
By the way, not to get off topic here, but I never understood, that in the show, when they go to the gala, you see them running off, but on the season finale, they go to the gala, and it’s like it’s there first time going there. I have no idea the timeline is for the show, which you think would be very straight forward but no. I don’t know, sometimes, I just wonders things.
So anyway, as I was saying, just I suspected I get a letter from Celestia, and she gives me two tickets to the Gala.
What a trolling bicth. She knows I have five friends, but she still sends me two tickets.
I also know she was planning this, so I could just send a letter to her, what I learned about friendship. Well, I’m one step ahead of her. What I did was go back to what the letter was when twilight sended them, but then replaced and added a view words here and there, so it’s like wrote my own letter and I actually learned something. In fact, I have them all pre- written, so all I have to do is sent the right one, and do nothing else.
Anyway, just like in the show, Rainbow Dash was listening, well, so was Forest Fire. He fell down from a cloud, which I still don’t know how we didn’t notice that cloud above us.
Well, if you remember how angry applejack was when rainbow dash was listening in, yea, Mac was well pissed off. He was so furious with Forest, he threatened him, but I found a way to calm him down.
I did it by saying forest had aids, and somehow he believed me, although Forest didn’t hear me, thank Celestia. Well, I told them the two of them could have it, but they insisted I go, since I did get the letter from Celestia, but here’s the thing.
I don’t give two shits and one flaming fuck about some party, that’s not even a project X party, although I do have to admit, at times I do love a classy party at times, but most of the times, I like a project x one.
Now, if you recall how Twilight was hungry, well, I was hungry too, and the weird thing is, I ate already not too long ago. Either Celestia is doing it or the universe is. I also want to comment on how good the food here is.
As you may have guessed, the ponies are vegetarian, although pegisi do eat fish, and spike does meat as well as pinkie pie, but she’s special. In other words, pinkie Pie logic, just saying.
Anyway, I was walking home to get something to eat, which would have been a dandelion sandwich, which some ponies here eat.
Now I know how humans can’t eat flowers, because, if I can recall, we don’t have a specific gland. Well, I have that gland, but I’m pretty sure it’s because, I followed the rules of the universes.
As I was saying, I was walking home and then Neon Party bumped into me and saw I had a ticket. He then immediately assumed I was going to take him, and thanked me many of times for taking him.
All I can say is, I think he was high. I really do mean it. I saw weed from where he came from, which was the building he worked at. Besides, I was surprised that this universe had drugs, although later I found out it wasn’t illegal, nor was it well known.
So, then Classy Jack came and saw it, and he wanted to go. He said he wanted to go because he thinks he can sell his stuff, there at the Gala, while Neon Party just wants to have a party.
The others had reasons as well.
Forest wanted to meet the wonder bolts, and see Rainbow Dash of course.
Mac wanted to go, so he can outsell applejack, and Arrell wanted to go, because there are animals he hasn’t seen before, so at least the reasons are different, or somewhat different.
Oh, right, and Arrell saw the tickets because he saw Neon Party and Classy Jack.
Well, I told them to fuck off, and yet, they still didn’t hear what I said, although I think I did get a sort of a reaction from Neon Party, but I think he was still high, but I doubt it, because he was singing about going to the gala, like as much as Pinkie did in the episode.
Besides, if he were high while singing, he would’ve been singing slow ride.
Well, I went to the café, and I ordered hay fries, and to be honest with you, they don’t taste that bad, then again, I was a pony then and still now. Well, I had that, while wolf ordered some weird ass soup, which I have forgotten the name of, but still.
Another thing, you know how Twilight yelled at the waiter, because I didn’t. Literally. I didn’t even give a fuck about the tickets, because all I wanted to do was eat something, and then get back to the problem.
So, I did, until everyone ran for cover from the rain, but I frankly didn’t care because it’s hay fries.
it’s not going to get ruined by water, although, wolf was a little pissed off about the soup having rain water added to it, but he just said fuck it and moved on, which I was hoping he finally realized he was made of wood and didn’t need to eat, but yet, he still ate after words.
Seriously, I’m still freaked out that the fact that he’s made out of wood, he eats or even takes a piss for that matter. Then again, I just say to myself, its magic, even though I’m pretty sure it’s something else, but I just pretend it’s just magic.
Anyway, to my not so surprised look, when I found I wasn’t getting rained on, I looked to the skies, and saw Forest sitting there on the clouds.
He just told me how a friend of his souldn’t be out in the raining weather, which I then told him, he could have the ticket.
I remember the joy on his face, he was so happy. It’s sad and a little odd to say it but, he reminds me of Dashie from My Little Dashie, and I don’t really want to talk about it, because every time I think about, I cry so many manly tears.
Moving on, I then told, there was a catch, that he would had to compete with the others, not in a fight for my amusement, but I was going to give the guys the tickets, and let them decide among them who gets to go or not , which would probably end up in all of their deaths.
He then realized what I had said, and closed the cloud on me like a doucebag.
Well, I was just telling him the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.
Then, what do you know, Classy Jack was right next to me, and offered me to go with him back to his shop.
Just as in the show, he had something for me to wear to the Gala, even though I told him I’m not going, he still managed to say don’t be ridiculous.
Don’t be ridiculous, he says. How about this. Look at the one robot chicken episode; where it had that one skit where it was a little play, and it was called don’t be ridiculous. At the end, now that shit is ridiculous.
However, trust me, I can think of more ridiculous things, like Pinkie slowly floating up from a hole, while crazy shit is happening around her.
As I said before, Pinkie Pie physics, and I wouldn’t ask about if I was you.
So, he made me a nice suit, and I do have to admit, It was pretty cool, because, here’s the thing with me and suits.
It makes you look you know what you’re doing right from the spot, and it also makes you look like an important person, and business man, and it makes it look like you can handle money very well, but just my opinion.
He also made a suit for himself, which rather looked a little bit better than mine, to go to the Gala with me. Well, since it looked better then mines, although that’s not the reason, the reason is that he thinks he can out do me, but let’s not get into that, and I walked out of the store
. Now, I know you think I’m arrogant, although, let’s be honest here, who isn’t or who hasn’t been arrogant, even if they didn’t show it. Rather reminds me that everybody is a little bit racist song, but I’m not, I just really, really, don’t give a flaming fuck about the Gala tickets.
So anyway, I was tired, and still hungry, cause I was pulled out from my hay fries, so I decided to end this thing once and for all, and demand Celestia give me more tickets to the Gala, by sending her letter.
Unfortunately, I said the word hungry aloud, Mac heard me, and he came up to me with a shit load of apples.
I don’t say this to sound mean, but he fucking applefied every single thing there was. Even sandwiches to hay for Celestia’s sake. How the hell do you even make apples with that. I don’t even understand, unless, it’s a apple family type thing, but still, although the apple pie was quite delicious, but still.
I then tried to run away from him, and wouldn’t you know arrell was in my home, cleaning. In addition, no, he was not singing the MLP theme, but he was telling the animals to clean the place, which I do have to admit, it’s very impressive the way he did. He even made one of his closest animals, which is a bunny,( angels twin?) make me a fucking salad.
Now, I’m not saying there’s nothing wrong with a salad, but why the hell would I give him a ticket to the gala just because he made me salad. If he was trying to do something that would make me take him to the Gala, he would had to do something better to do it.
However, since I don’t care about the Gala, I don’t give a fuck.
Therefore, I just slowly backed up, and what do you know, Neon Party got everyone in town and threw me up and down, saying how great I am, so I can give him the ticket.
Soon, everyone was so shocked what Neon Party said, that they all looked at him, with grins on all their faces. Then they started offering me some lazy exchanges for a ticket to the gala.
Therefore, what do I do, the only thing that was sensible and the only thing that I could think of. Run the fuck away, just like in the episode. Therefore, I ran like hell, and it turned into one of those Scooby doo chases if you can recall from the classic Scooby doo show. Even I was confused I ended in one place, and then on the opposite side. Therefore, I just deiced to teleport me and wolf back home.
We then turned off all the lights, and hoping not to be found.Then, what next came, I find my friends there waiting for me. However, the important thing is, how the fuck, did they get into my house! I have the place locked up, and they are still inside. I think its Neon Party doing, which I think he can also defy all laws of physics, which note to self, study and stalk him later to find out.
so anyway, then I told everyone I don’t care about the Gala, and they can have the tickets, and then they said they were sorry, and didn’t want the ticket, although, like rainbow dash, forest thought he was going, which I wonder, did any of them heard what I said? Are they deaf? On the other hand, is it the universe refraining me from saying words, that wasn’t proper or doesn’t relate like in the show?
So at this point, I completely gave up, and did what I was trying to do all of this time, sending a letter. I grabbed out one of the pre- written letters, and just pretended I was writing stuff down. I then placed the two tickets in the letter and sended off.
They did question why I didn’t keep them, but I was so tired of saying it, I just gave up, and a few seconds later, I received a letter from Celestia, with 6 tickets inside.
Therefore, I then gave the guys there tickets. I also gave wolf his ticket as well, cause like I said before, I don’t give a fuck, but then she sended another letter.
It said to give the ticket to wolf as well, and trust me, you can’t burn these tickets. I’ve tried it already. Soon, I just said fuck it and went joined the other guys running off randomly off into the distance.
You remember how I said how I never got the Gala thing from the show, well; I believe I finally figured it out.
I got the ticket in advanced, but that still doesn’t make sense to me, but remember, it’s My Little Pony, not the reality that we’re used to, or should I say, you guys are used to.
Trust me; I’ll explain it in the future.
Anyway, also, if you remember how I said how I tried to burn the ticket and it didn’t burn at all, and to which I said, it’s a ticket from hell. Ok then, maybe I went too far with that one, but still.
Well, good news, I found a way to burn it. It just took me sometime in the basement.
Oh yea, I forgot to mention this part of my house.
Ok, so when I moved in, I had a basement, however, it wasn’t that big, so I manually made one myself, with all the high tech technology, even far more advanced than your guys technology. Literally, it’s all computer and shit. It’s also access through a secret pad code I hide in the wall, or in other words, you know what, never mind. It’ll take too long to explain.
What I do down there is research ways to cure dieses, and I even have a cure for cancer, surprisingly. I don’t know if it works or not, because, if you remember I said I was immune to all diseases. I also found ways to turn me into a Pegasus, an Earth Pony, and even an Alicorn. Trust me, it was hard, but I got plenty of the stuff. I also make my own weapons, and study other shit that’s scientific.
I also have a secret hidden safe, which holds the most important of all items. One thing is The Knight suit.
Now, if you recall, how I said that TK is dead, and now is the new devil, and how TK has the suit he used to wear. Good news for me, I get to keep it and use it. However, I never used it then, because I wasn’t ready to use it yet, although I was trained in it. Besides, I only used it for emergencies. It’s because the knight suit is very strong.
I also have the book where I write down all the spells I made myself, or my own written magic. I also have some of my old journals, because , you see, before I came to the official MLP universe, I had written down all the different universe culture and many adventures I had through them as well.
I also have a way to get to the portal, which is in a cave, to get outside of the universe.
Anyway, as I was saying about the ticket, I found a way to burn my ticket with one of my inventions, and it burned like a mother fucker.
Now, just to make Celestia not suspicious of me when the Gala happens, I sent her a letter, telling how I lost my tickets and I will not be able to go to the Gala.
In addition, just to let you know, from what I know about the Gala tickets, once you loose one, you will not receive another one, until the following one.
Unfortunately, I was a fucking idiot, and forgot I was sending a letter to princess Celestia, the one who could do anything.
Go on guess. Guess what the fuck happened. I want you to guess, as a response.
Another fucking ticket!
In addition, I still remember the words I used that day, “oh look, another letter, probably saying how unfortunate… Oh shit fuck, another ticket.”
Yep. I even remember the letter that Celestia sended me, and I’m still surprised I even read it, because I don’t even open anything from Celestia.
I literally have a closest full of letters and packages from that I never opened, because I don’t trust a Trollestia.
To My faithful student
It is quiet unfortunate you lost your ticket, but you do not have to worry about not going to the Gala with your friends. I have sent you another ticket so you can go, and have a wonderful time. I also believe this time around, you won’t loose this ticket. If I may give you a word of advice, I f I were you, I would put this in a safe place until the Gala. I will also be looking forward to your visit in Cantorlot for the Gala. I also hope to see your next friendship letter very soon.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia
At the time, I was going, ‘great, just fucking great. She also expects me there.’
Therefore, I just ended up accepting my fate, because the way I see it, the sooner you accept something, the better off you’ll be, and I was going to the Gala.
Now, I know that’s not a bad thing. In fact, that can be a good thing, but to be honest with you, I really don’t care, so yea.
Therefore, you must be wondering how this isn’t just like in the show, well, don’t you think other stuff happens in between episodes?
However, this will not be in my perspective, for the most part, because, I wasn’t there. Therefore, here’s my buddy, although he doesn’t want to be called buddy, TK, or in other words, The Knight.
Perspective, TK:
I remember that fucking day as always.
I remember the fall we had.
Here’s the thing. After my creator, or knight as he likes to be called, came back from the place I shall not speak of, he continued his job for a while. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’ll will find out in time, with enough patience of course.
Therefore, he asked me to escort him to the Everfree forest, because the portal ended nowhere near the Everfree. In fact, it landed into dangerous territory, that if he went by himself, he would’ve died. He wasn’t strong enough yet to handle it.
Therefore, I decided to escort him, and let’s just say that TF escaped from his universe, and went after us.
As he did, near the end of both of our journey, he did something that knight likes to call, The Fall. Let’s just say shit happened.
I was teleported back off the grid, and TF and knight was still in the universe. I tried to go back, but TF put a resistance aura around the portal, so I couldn’t go back. Only days later, the aura wore off, and I was able to go back.
As I was going, TF returned, and I ordered two of my toughest minion guards to seize him, so I could interrogate him. He then told me all I needed to hear, and ordered the guards to put him back in the universe where he belonged until I got back.
I went through the portal and fortunate enough, a portal was opened in another location; however, the portal led me to a location, to where the portal was only in a small room. I then discovered, I was in a cave. There were something’s only knight would have, and I used one of my demon spells to show me what happened in the past, as if I was watching a movie.
I saw everything that had happened, even when Celestia found him and took him, along with the timber wolf he had. I then followed where the images took me, and it led me right into Ponyville.
I knew ponies were eyeing me, but I never cared anything about that.
Even back in my universe, I never cared. At this point, I was a pony, not sure which breed I was, but never cared, and wasn’t interested in finding out.
I then saw the images took me to a treehouse library, where the one named Twilight lives.
I saw everything happen inside, through the windows. I even knew a crowd was around me, as if I was making a scene.
Soon, I heard Twilights voice and Celestia right behind her. I knew they were there, but I never turned around to even steal a glance.
As soon as the images went away into the sky, I then asked one of them where was knight. Celestia then asked why I asked and why I wanted him.
Therefore, I just continued to demand an answer, and soon, with enough patience, I was given the answer. They told me he was at Stalia, and I went through the Everfree forest.
I have a map system that takes a very quick scan of the world I was in, and mapped out the entire place that I could map, and even give me any information I needed. Trust me; It’s very far advanced technology.
I trekked through the Everfree, even though I knew Celestia and Twilight were following me. They could follow me all they want, along as they don’t get in my way.
A few animals tried to attack me, but I quickly killed them and moved on.
Soon, I was in Stalia.
I then asked two stallions, which turned out to be knight’s friends, Classy Jack and Forest Fire. They immediately told me where to find him, and I went along where they pointed.
I then soon found another library, and knocked. Soon, knight answered the door. He then…
Perspective, Knight: Yes, I can take it from here TK. Anyway, TK knocked on the door, and I opened to my surprise on seeing him.
I quickly let him in and closed the door behind him. He then asked what happened to me, and as soon I was about to open my mouth, Celestia and Twilight knocked. I soon open the door, and questioned if I was ok.
I then replied with a nod, and asked me who was the pony that they followed. I then told them that he’s an old friends of mine, with weird looks on their faces as well. I then asked why, and responded back with, ‘since I was Celestia’s personal student, and a royal subject of hers, she wanted to make sure I was safe and sound.’
Well, I then show them the door, and locked to continue the conversation.
TK then asked about the personal student thing, and I told him it was a long story. In addition, I told him if he wanted to know a little more, I told him to watch the show, which he then said, ok, but only to know what will happen to me in the future, because I did tell him that history was repeating itself.
I showed him around in the basement I built, and gave a nod, and went back to the universes.
In addition, I later found out that Celestia was still suspicious about TK. She then sent out twilight, to ask me and tell all I can about TK and his origins, or at least when we first met.
When Twilight asked about the questions, I then told her Celestia doesn’t need to worry about it, which I then got a letter from her. It was about how she’ll back off, but is still worried about me and my safety.
By the way, one other team member from my first generation team was still alive, and it was Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, long story about that one.
I should also explain about the team thing.
Ok, when I opened up all the portals to my own universes, I created a team, into helping and protecting the entire universal grid from anything that meant harm.
At first, it was going to be easy, but I then made many enemies that way, so yea. Soon, they all fell, and I don’t really don’t want to talk about it. I also don’t blame myself that they died, because I knew they were going to die in the first place.
I knew because I made their universe fall, but let’s not get into that.
Therefore, only me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory were still alive from the 1st generation team, and the Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory thing, is another story for another time.
Anyway, like I was saying before, I showed and told her where I was, just in case she needed help from me.
This one was from the show, or in other words, season one, episode four.
Therefore, you think that Mac needs help with the apple bucking of the apple trees, but from what I found out, that applejack was planning to break the equestrian record of fastest apple bucking.
She was going to do it by herself, and keep in mind, anyone who was going against her, didn’t have to do it alone, and get help. Well, applejack was going to do it the entire apple acre farm.
Well, to my surprise, Mac was really pissed off by this, and was planning on out doing her. He quickly got one of the judges that was judging applejacks side, and was going to compete against her.
Of course, nobody gave a dam, expect for the entire town. They finally figured out that the only way that somepony might actually figure this place actually exist, if they have someone famous for breaking a record, or at least tried to break a record.
Of course, both of them had unlimited amount of time, or at least 1 week that is.
So, Mac got straight to starting to apple bucking, but of course, he forgot he had plans to help his friends out. In fact, everyone knew he wasn’t going to make it, because he had a little ceremony, made by the mare the was mayor, and told how he was going to do the record. Unfortunately, my friends didn’t realize, they made everyone doubt him, because my friends told everyone how he so amazing and how they made plans with him. I was also put on stage, engorged to say a few words to him before he begins, but all I said was, ‘you’re fucked’.
Not only that happened, but also Mac stayed up all night practicing, he didn’t get any sleep, so he was going to be tried doing this. Therefore, the bucking of the apples began.
After awhile, he noticed the time, which he knows by the sun I guess, I really don’t have a clue how, but, he noticed the time and left to go with forest. Forest was planning doing things with him, and he was trying to break a record.
You see, when forest heard about Mac breaking a record, he started figuring out, that if he did what Mac, rainbow dash might notice him, and might end up joining the wonder bolts, but he doubt it, but he was trying to get rainbow dash to notice him though.
Even if he didn’t, he would’ve been fine with just breaking a record, but of course he needed practice, and that’s what he needed Mac for.
He was going to try to break the weirdest record I’ve heard, and that’s the highest Pegasus that jumped in the air, without using wings, and doing the most craziest and dangerous tricks in the air in I minute.
In addition, forest was trying to attempt it. Yea, that would defiantly get him into the wonder bolts, too bad he would be dead by then because of the stupidity of doing something like that, but hey, I’m not the pony who thinks its jackass or something.
Therefore, Mac tried, and kept missing because he was so tried, but eventually, he did, but of course as I was expecting, forest wasn’t even prepared, and he crashed through my window.
He also paid for the window, but he still blames Mac for it because it was his fault because he wasn’t prepared for it, just like rainbow dash in the episode. Yea, I also said Mac owes me weed money, because when forest came through my window, wolf and I was smoking weed and forest destroyed the weed and unfortunately, the weed was unsmokeable.
so yea. Therefore, I decided to have a talk with Mac, because I was going to help him get through the apple bucking because, I seriously didn’t want to go through just like in the episode, but he turned my offer down, and said he needed to beat his cousin fairly.
Therefore, I then thought that the universe really wants stuff to happen just like in the show. In other words, I either do it the easy way, which is letting it happen without trying to resist it, or resist it. I just said fuck it and kept trying, even though there’s no point to it.
So after awhile, or in other words, the next day, he went to neon parties party shop, or though technically, helping out the owners of the shop, and just living there just like pinkie Pie, but still, the party shop to help him bake party goods, or cakes or something sweet like for a party for ponies.
Now the party shop just doesn’t sell baked goods, but it also sells party supplies and neon’s services to throw a party, as well as party music, or in other words, dustup, or whatever they call it here, I really don’t care.
So, Mac went to help neon, and of course, just like in the show, he messed up the food, or cupcakes I think he messed up. Instead of worms and other ingredients that do not go together, he put something else.
Now, at first, I didn’t know what he put in, but later I found out what it was, and I prefer not to talk about. Let’s just say, it was food poisoning, and I’m still shocked that the ponies are still alive after what the just ate, because I’m filmier with the food poisoning, in it would kill you within seconds.
I don’t know what happened, maybe the other stuff Mac mixed the cupcakes might’ve created an antidote, but still. Well, he continued, and once again, I returned with the offer of help, and he shot it down once again.
Later, he went to classy jacks place to help him with some of the suits, and from what I have heard, one minute jack was out of the room, getting some stuff, and after a few seconds after he left.
When he came back, Mac was on the ground sleeping, and the room was on fire. He was lucky it didn’t even spread. Well, I soon went up to him one last time to talk to him.
Now, if you remember when applejack kept mishearing Twilight in the episode, let me tell, he also misheard me, but the stuff that he thought he heard was ridiculous.
One of them was he thought he heard me say ‘where can I fuck a donkey, while eating honey out of a baboons asshole, while juggling 8 fireballs, 11 bats, and 5 axes, while skinning a gorilla alive, while doing a dance on top of a polar bears body, while singing a song that’s called don’t stop me now, ( which to be clear he never heard of, but he thought there was a song called that out there in Equestria), while becoming a shark, while shaking palm trees to get trains down and put the trains in a apple and wait for turkeys to come eat the apple, and then watch as the turkeys go up waterfalls and get them down, by collecting monkey butts and drop the monkey butts on a electrical current.'
I have no response to this, but to be clear, he did ask some weird stuff, that he thought he heard from me, and all I said was he needed help. Mental and physically. Where did he get that Idea, I will never know, but still.
Well, the last thing he did was go to Arrell’s for a visit, and help breed some of the animals.
. Well, from what I’ve heard, Arrell, had to go do something, so he left Mac to do his business alone, right. Well, when he came back, what he saw was animals having origied. There was cum all over the place, some of the animals were beating the hell out of each other because Mac put the wrong animals together, like a bunny and a bear, along with a lion, and I’m not sure. I believe I also heard somewhere that the animals were doing the 69.
You could just tell Mac was not right in the head, and you could clearly see he was very tried.
In fact, this all happened in a course of 3 or 4 days.
So I just got fed up of hearing all the ridiculous stories and what Mac was doing, that I got with my friends, told Mac, he was going to die if he didn’t take a break, or in other words, say we were magical ponies that if he didn’t do what we say, we would kill him.
Therefore, he just stepped aside while we finished up his work, and what do you know, Mac defeated applejack, but he didn’t beat the world record, but still defeated applejack.
When we told this to Mac, and we told him he did finish the apple orchard, but he forgot what happened, he was so proud of himself, he was going to rub this in applejacks face.
Now, I stopped him before he could even get out of his house, because, I didn’t want to see him in the hospital, and hear he burned the hospital down, because if the hospital is going to be burned down, it’s either going to be me, or the joker from the dark knight.
Second, even though applejack was my fifth favorite pony, I still cared about the ones that was my least favorite, because they’re still ponies, not worthless pieces of shit that we can abuse whenever we want.
Those types of people are for, well, I’m not going to say it, because if I do, I’m probably going get my ass kicked by them.
let’s just say it’s anonymous, But I’ll give you a hint, it’s NOT from Earth, but from Equestria, and if someone does read this that’s not you guys, I’ll probably be in trouble.
The birds were chirping. The sky was clear, the ponies were all out of bed, and frogs were humping birds. That’s right, frogs were humping birds.
In addition, apparently, the animals from the Everfree were not good at all. In fact, there was something wrong going on, that Twilight had to come and give a report to the princess.
Now, if you’re thinking that the problem is that the animals are having an orgy, then you are a sick fuck for thinking that. Besides, there’s no reason to think that, because if you read the last chapter, you would know we have something like that already, and his name his Mac.
So, Twilight came for a visit, and was going to stay a few days, because she also wanted to try to figure the problem out, but of course she would have the send the letter out to the princess first, but still wanted to do some scientific research. Therefore, what do you think where she goes to.
Me of course.
Why couldn’t she just stay in Ponyville and have a chariot drop her off whenever she needed to. I mean sure, Ponyville is a few hundred, maybe a thousand miles away, I’m not so sure because I never bothered to look it up, but she still could’ve though.
So she asked me if she could stay at my house while she was there, and I would’ve said no, not to be mean, but because I don’t want to take chances of her snooping around my home and figuring out where I really came from. It’s quite obvious if you think about, because Twilight will always try to find out what’s happening when somethi
ng is up. Besides, I can’t let Twilight find out, because then I don’t know what would happen, but I’m afraid it can’t be a good thing. Although, Celestia can’t really kick me out, because remember, I’m one of the elements, and if they need to use it, they would need me.
Therefore, I can’t tell her…. Yet, and when I mean by yet, I mean by when the time is right, she will then know. Nevertheless, of course, since this is MLP and I do sort of have to stick to the Brony code a little bit, although I always found myself as a different type of Brony like a Brony who isn’t afraid to kill, but likes My Little Pony, but still.
So anyway, she came up to me for a place to stay, I said she could. I had a few empty rooms, because I only needed one room, but it came with two more, and I was able to finish one up as a guest bedroom, so I gladly offered it.
She also brought spike along, then again, I can’t complain since spike is her number one assistant. Spike even thought that wolf was my number one assistant, but wolf told him he’s not, and is there because I’m the only one who ever took care of him and his only friend.
That’s not to say he has other friends, but as a friend he can depend on. Sure, he can also on the others, but still, that and we’ve been best buds for years, so yea.
Therefore, Twilight arrived at my house late one night, I think at seven or maybe a bit later, I couldn’t tell, because she had to a little business to take care of.
Well, I then showed her around the place, and guess who showed up, TK.
Yea, she was a little shocked, but I had forgotten I invited him over because I had to talk to him about stuff, as in off the grid stuff.
Well, I calmed her down, but she was still little angry, which I asked her what she has against TK, and she said she has nothing against him, but I could tell she was lying, and didn’t want to simply tell the truth right away, so I knew I had to get the truth out of her soon somehow.
I then showed her to her bedroom to unpack, and TK and I went to that basement I made, although from now on, I’m just going to call it basement, because I will just barley mention the other basement. Besides, the other basement is where I put my weed and beer at. That and other shit I don’t have a use for.
Therefore, I opened the secret door, which is right in front of my door to be specific.
You see, I have the secret doo to the basement right in front of the front door, and have the keypad to unlock. And just to mention this, but my house is a two story building, but just thought worth motioning, because I think it’s going to be somewhere in the story in the future.
Anyways, I went to the basement to talk about the stuff, and when I mentioned how twilight snoops around, she really snoops around, because she saw the basement, but luckily, I have the most important stuff hidden away in a vault that I only know the code to.
She was so simply amazed in shocked at the same time and questioned to what the basement was. I then soon explained everything to her, how I manually built this place, with all the resources I had, and how I have the syringes, and what I look up and test, although I left out the part from the other universes, but still.
I also make my own weapons down there, and told her those were the rarest types of weapons, that very few ponies have, and I was being serious about that.
I found some ponies with the guns or from they have told, a shooty thingy. to which I then found out, a stallion gave it to them, and if they ever saw me, kill me with it, but of course, I knew it was TF, and of course, since he wasn’t a Brony, he didn’t understand that most of these ponies do not kill, so they gladly gave it to me, with no questions asked.
However, I believe some might’ve kept it to themselves, but I’m not sure, but I don’t think it would be a problem, because I have all the ammo with me, and they wouldn’t know how to use it even.
Well I also told Twilight, how this can be a game changer to battle and fights. I also begged her not to tell Celestia, because if she would ever find out, the weapons would be taken away, and taken to a secret place in Cantorlot.
If someone ever found out, to say like the changeling queen, she would find a way to steal it, and use it against Celestia and possibly kill us all. The only safe spot would be here, because it would be hard to break into the basement.
So she pinkie promised not to tell, but only if I told her all of the scientific research I found and how I made the weapons possible, not that she was interested into guns, but just curious on how they work.
I then agreed, and Twilight left TK and I to continue our conversation. We were basically talking about one of the universes having one of my old enemies come to this universe, and one would have an armada, and we discussed battle plans, for Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory to the lead the army.
Yea, forgot to mention. since the Rainbow Dash is in charge of the Rainbow Factory part of the weather factory, she had a separate factory for it now, and since she was trained by TK.
She was also gained forces of ponies to command an army, so yea.
You have me who is very welled skilled, who have guns and makes his own weapons, and also knows how to use very powerful unicorn magic. That can also use the knight suit, and has off the grid powers that can be used on the grid for a short period of time, ( or at leat not anymore), and knows how to use it.
You also have TK, who has the knight suit still on, who also commands an army of demons, and have devil powers, and can sometimes use, depending on the situation, gods angels to fight.
Then you have Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, who has the same skills from TK, and can use some of the off the grid powers, and commands an army.
Put us together, and we are fucking bad asses.
I just always wanted to say or write it down in this case.
Therefore, it was morning, and spike then woke up and fixed breakfast, although he was having a hard time trying to find something to fix him and Twilight, but I helped him out.
He also thought there was a fire going on because he saw us smoking, but I then explained it was weed, and shrugged it off, although he had a little worried look on his face.
Even Twilight was surprised, and she knew some of the damaging effects that weed can cause. However, I told it was fine, because I somehow never get any of the damaging effects from weed, somehow, and wolf is made out of woods, so she shrugged it off as well.
She then later told me she couldn’t believe how, I, a personal, well educated, and a wonderful faithful student of princess Celestia, who also stopped her evil clone, and made that amazing basement, would be smoking weed.
I just ignored her commit. She then asked me for help with her studying and examining about the animal problem, and I gladly said yes, although I didn’t have anything else going on.
I know I’m a Brony, and I should be excited about his, but I’m really not.
I mean, one, it’s not Rainbow Dash, although Twilight is ok in my opinion.
Two, I‘ve been here for a while now, and It was really getting old.
In addition, three, back on earth, I said to myself, that if I was ever able to go to the MLP universe, I would like to just be friends with them.
Not be all up in their faces saying how great they are. That and also explore their amazing world beyond our own, or should I say beyond your own, because at this point, things have change, but I’ll tell you guys what that means in the future, but for now, let’s continue.
Therefore, Twilight and I were walking to the edge of the Everfree, and my friends spotted us, and were in shock. Of course, they kneeled down to her since she was a princess after all, and they started asking questions on how we knew each other.
In addition, I think forest went up to her and ask if Rainbow is seeing anyone, which I don’t know what happened to that conversation, but moving on.
From what I saw Twilight was doing, she was giving specific details on what the animals were doing, and even I didn’t know what was going on, because I have some powers, or whatever you want to call them, on controlling the animals of the Everfree, but they weren’t responding to me.
I mean, wolf and I sometimes come up here from time to time, and I never had a problem and not one of them disobeying orders from me, although Twilight didn’t know that of course, nor did anyone know that.
She then listed the symptoms to whatever was making the animals what they were doing, which were unusual things, like mating, but with unusual other animals, or being more aggressive, or not doing what the animals do naturally, like dig random holes.
For a while, she was taking notes, and wrote down some theories that she had.
Then she rolled up the letter and headed back to the house to give to spike so he could send it off, because we left wolf and spike back at home.
Twilight also asked me to stay and look after a machine she had that would pick up anything that was unusual, and I said yes, just because I didn’t want to be mean to her.
Therefore, I got fucking stuck on watching duty, and nothing fucking happened the entire night.
As I was just going to give up and go back home to go to sleep, I saw a thing fading into existence, and the machine was going ape shit.
As the thing stopped fading in and out, I then recognized it as the tarturis, and my mouth was open, and then at the very moment, Doctor Whooves, that one from doctor whooves and the assistant I might add, and Derpy come on walking out.
They stood there, questing why the TARDIS sent them there, and I quickly rushed up to them.
They then asked where they were and how did I know they’re names. I just said I knew, and I was from another universe, of course, the Doctor didn’t believe me at first, but I told him I had proof and I snucked them back to the hidden basement and showed.
That defiantly grabbed their attention.
They then started to ask me questions and I answered as much as possible.
Now, of course, TK found about within about an hour or so, but he was a little pissed off at me. I explained to him how they won’t say a word about it, and how he travels to other universes as well. He then let the subject pass, and moved on to other things, like going to talk to Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory.
Well, he then was still confused, because since the TARDIS only goes to places where there is trouble, I think.
I never watched Doctor Who back on earth, because I didn’t know where to start on the show. There was too many of them.
Well, I offered a non finished guess room to stay in, or at least until we can figure out what is happening in Stalia. He did accept the offer, and I gave him a bed for him and Derpy, but only because that’s the only thing I had for the other room. It takes time to furnish a room, ok.
Besides, Doctor Whooves and Derpy is more like a couple together, then again, why the fuck would I be talking about romance.
Besides, I don’t even believe in love. I have reasons for them, but still. I never fallen in love with someone nor fallen in someone because the chick is hot, which means I would still be a virgin, but I don’t care if I’m a virgin or not. Besides, Jesus was a virgin, and if you hate me, you hate Jesus, or is the weed finally coming to me now.
Then again, I am half-sober when I’m ever drunk as shit.
The next morning, Twilight was shocked when she saw me on the couch sleeping, and to tell why I didn’t sleep in my bed, I was right about the weed finally getting to me, and I had a hangover. I also might’ve had an orgy over at my place with random animals and ponies, because I found semen everywhere, or was that me?
Then again, I haven’t masturbated ever since I was 14, but still though, it’s weird.
I will possibly find out later when ponies come up to me and saying how much fun they had at my place.
Well, I then ordered spike and wolf to clean up the mess, while Twilight and I talked. While we were talking, Doctor Whooves came down the stairs to ask for some muffins, and Twilight was in shock we had another guess.
I just stood there with a poker face and said we had no muffins.
In fact, at that time, I didn’t even knew what we even had. I don’t even shop for the food, because I make wolf do that, while I smoke weed and get drunk off my ass.
Moreover, if you’re shocked of this is how I am, and I’m supposed to be this badass who fought enemies and suffered the worst anyone has in their life. Well, this is me. I’ve been doing this ever since I discovered the portal.
Besides, there’s nothing to do around the house. I mean, there’s no TV or anything, but I still somehow find a way to get through it.
You want to know the secret, I don’t really use technology that much.
Sure, I make my own weapons, but that’s only when I have the supplies. If I’m in the forest, and I’m defenseless, I make my weapons whatever I got.
Therefore, continuing on, I then started to open up all the coverers and surprisingly I found muffin mix. I then gave the box to Doctor Whooves and told him to fix it.
I know I’m not being a good host, but I really am not a good cook.
Even if there were directions on the box, I’ll still find a way to burn it.
Well, after the doctor went into the kitchen, Twilight just gave me a look that said, ‘what the fuck’. I just simply told her what happened, and even she didn’t believe me.
Well, after the Doctor fixed the muffins, the Doctor released a beast into my home. Trust me, it’ll be like a horror movie, for muffins.
Once the smell of muffins came out of the oven, Derpy smelled it, and came crashing through the door and almost destroyed the walls.
In addition, in a blink of an eye, she was devouring the muffins whole. I knew Derpy loves muffins, but this was so fucking messed up.
Moreover, for some odd reason, and I don’t know what drove her to do it, but Derpy started to shove the muffins up her asshole.
It was so disturbing, that we all slowly walked backwards and ran out the door before you can say fuck.
I then locked the door so Derpy could finish her “business” in private, and we all agreed to never speak of that again. I even have nightmares about that. Wolf too, although it seems he enjoys it.
I’ll tell you, that I will never understand wolf. He may be my friend, but I’ll never understand him.
So, while Derpy was doing her uh…. Thing, Doctor Whooves offered to give twilight proof about the TARDIS.
Twilight happily accepted the offer, and I believe she thought she was going to be right, and act if I was in idiot for believing the Doctor.
When we got to the edge of the Everfree, we stumbled upon the machine that Twilight made, and found it destroyed.
It was unfortunate for Twilight, because she said she worked on it for years, but I simply offered to fix it. I even told her I could fix it within one to two days.
She looked at me as if I was crazy, because later she said it would be almost impossible to get the parts for it, but I soon showed her and gave her the machine repaired, and I even upgraded for her, and she still is shocked I did it.
It is obvious, because I make my own weapons and technology, but she still is shocked.
Well, the Doctor showed her the TARDIS, and Twilight was in shock, that she fainted.
We brought her to the hospital, because I don’t think it would be a safe bet to go back home just yet while Derpy is still there. She soon woke up, and looked at Whooves with wide eyes.
She then said she would have to report this to the princess, and she wrote a letter immediately, and spike sent it. I was surprised how no one tried to stop her, but ok then.
After the doctor gave the clear for her to go, even though she had nothing wrong with her.
We just told a lie to the doctor that she had aids, and after she woke up, we just told them she had magical aids, that disappeared and they believed it.
What a bunch of stupid dumbasses.
As we walked outside, we came across a little problem.
We found a Derpy outline through my door.
Then we noticed the entire pony citizens yelling and screaming as Derpy tried to devour all the muffin in sight.
I do have to admit, she really loves those muffins. I also feel kind of guilty of leaving Derpy in my house alone.
What we should’ve done is tie her down, and put her in a snow globe, just like in season 2 episode 18, where the part where pinky found the donkey’s snow globe, and it had a Derpy in it. We would keep her there until she was rehabilitated and ready to rejoin society. We could even get maybe Morgan Freeman from another universe to help. Besides, she really has a muffin problem. In fact, the muffin problem is just as a big of a problem as the cookie monster has the cookie problem. Well, we just acted as if everything was normal, well, except for Twilight. She tried her best to calm Derpy down, but it lead her to being knocked consciences.
So we were here, in the middle of town, with Derpy rampaging through the town, trying to shove muffins up her ass and devour all the muffins all insight, while we have an unconsciences princess, which might piss off Celestia a bit, with a pony from another world.
In addition, to put on top of all of this, we still had the weird animal problem in the Everfree forest.
This was just fucking great.
Also, if you were wondering where were my friends were at during this time, they were at the bar.
Yea, apparently the bar is the only place that was not burning, or destroyed by Derpy.
Then all of a sudden, a chariot appeared, and Celestia was on it. She landed down with wide eyes. She then stepped down off the chariot and the flyers flew off like hell. I could just imagine what they were thinking, which would just simply be, what the fuck.
Celestia was about to speak, but I cut her off and said don’t ask. She then tried to check if Twilight was ok, and fortunately, she was.
However, she was still unconsciences, and would have to be brought back home to rest, and spike offered of taking her. Therefore, spike went off to bring her back home, but at this point, I was wondering, and it is somewhat of a sick question, but is spike going to rape her. I mean, I know he loves rarity, but when is he going to hit on her.
I mean, this would be his only chance he will have of doing it, but I don’t want to know.
After we could no longer see spike, Celestia put a sleeping spell on Derpy, and was about ask what had happened, but I told her don’t ask once more.
She then explained how she got the letter explaining how a pony from another world is here, and Doctor Whooves explained himself. She then asked Doctor Whooves to come along with her to speak in private. She then asked me to check up on Twilight, even though spike was with her.
I’m pretty sure we both had out suspicions about spike raping her.
Wolf and I walked back to the house, and when we walked in, it was a complete mess. Not only the orgy stains were still there, but there was shit mixed with muffins everywhere as well.
I also think there was an unborn fetus just lying on the ground!
Then out of nowhere, my friends came up to me with what the fuck looks on their faces.
They then asked what they missed, but I ignored them, because I was too shocked to even answer them.
I then told wolf to clean it up, and of course he was a little pissed off, but he did what he was told, because I said after all of this is fixed, I promised some weed.
The thing is, we just don’t normally smoke weed that often, since it’s somewhat hard to get here. Not that it’s expensive, but you would have to find it in forests, but I was working on cloning the weed, so we would of unlimited amount of weed, and it was going very well.
I then walked up stairs to check on Twilight, and when I mean by that, I mean to see if spike is raping her or not. As I opened the door to the guest room, spike wasn’t raping her, and I thought I was thinking too deep into this.
As I walked into the room, Twilight woke up, and said, “What happened, and why do I feel like I got violated.”
I then stared at spike, and he just smiled with a nervous grin on his face.
I then walked back down stairs, not to my surprise, wolf was finished cleaning.
I say not, because if you offer him weed, beer, or both, he’ll get the job done very fast, and good. Although, I don’t want to know where he put the unborn fetus at, but I think I have an idea. I believe he put it into our neighbors mailbox.
I then gave him the weed, and he was acting if it was his precious, like that gremlin guy from lord of the rings.
Now, I know that’s not his name, but I never watched lord of the rings. I just know that little midget that says my precious all the time. I believe he’s a midget, or sorry, if I’m being offensive here, I really don’t give a fuck, but if I do have to be PC, then fun size I guess would be the correct term to use here.
After me and my friends sat there and watched wolf smoke weed, Celestia and Doctor Whooves came in, while Celestia holding Derpy in a levitation spell.
I then asked the doctor what the princess told him, and he replied he with the princess asking about the TARDIS and where he came from.
All the princess said was, he was welcome to Equestria anytime.
I then had a poker face, because that doesn’t seem to be a reason why to have a private conversation, then again, it was to determine if he could stay here or not.
Celestia also put the sleeping Derpy down on my couch and asked where to find Twilight. I then told her she was in her guess bedroom, and she was surprised this place had a guess bedroom.
In addition, I thought she knew.
So it clearly means, that she didn’t try her best to get me a home that wasn’t a library.
Fucking Trollelestia.
Therefore, after I told her where to find Twilight, the Doctor and I slowly came up to Derpy, trying not wake her up, and tie her up.
We were successful, but she woke up, and was still the beast who wanted to shove muffins up her ass.
I then went to check up on Celestia and Twilight, and when I got up there, Twilight asked me to finish up her assignment, because she didn’t feel she could from the concussion Derpy gave her.
I realize how strong Derpy was. I mean, if she could knock out an Alicon, who are basically strong, I’m afraid what she would do to a normal pony, like an earth pony.
I said yes to help her, and she would be in my house until I get the job done.
I then thought, maybe I can offer weed and beer to wolf if he can do it, but I just said fuck it and moved on with life.
At the time, Luna’s moon was about to rise, and the ponies of Stalia were about to come out of their homes and try to fix up most of the damage as most as possible, since it was starting to get dark.
The Doctor, wolf, and I were walking the streets so we could go to the Everfree forest. While we were walking, what we saw was like a war zone.
I don’t know what Derpy did, but the only building that’s seemed to be perfectly normal, was the bar.
I mean the destruction was so devastating, and it was unbelievable. I also saw a newspaper that said 11 dead from a mysterious attacker.
Now, I know Derpy never meant to kill tem, in fact, I don’t think she killed them at all, but as the ponies were trying to run away, they might’ve just gotten stuck in place where they died, but not by Derpy’s hooves.
I can just imagine, if they had TV, they would have a news station that would have a Derpy image, with ‘never forget’ as the message.
I know it’s only 11 dead, and not that big of disasters as other ones are, but this is the My Little Pony universe, and there are not too many death’s here, but if there are, its either by old age, or some sort of disease, not a pony killing another pony.
Well, we then finally got out of town, and into the Everfree forest. I told wolf and Whooves we were going to sit here all night, and see what was causing the animals to do weird things.
If you’ve forgotten about the animal problem, you’re not the only one. I forgot as well, but only because there was Doctor Whooves showing up, Twilight fainting, Derpy going berserk (maybe a psychopath?), spike raping Twilight, and the weird orgy I found in the living room this morning, and the unborn fetus.
Well, fortunately, we found the source, and it was an old monster from another universe that the Doctor recognized. Soon, the Doctor and the weird beast were fighting each other off.
Eventually, the Doctor won the battle, but killed many animals while trying to fight. He didn’t do it on purpose, but the animals got in the way.
Well, as dawn broke, we walked back home, while dragging the dead beast’s body with us. As we walked into the house, we found Celestia in my living room, because she was sent to grab something for Twilight.
Therefore, we walked in, and we dropped the dead body right in front of her, with a what the fuck look on her face. We then explained what happened, and was a little relived that the animal problem was solved, although she couldn’t help it, but she felt guilty of causing harm here, because she sent Twilight here.
It does make sense, because if you think about it, it’s somewhat of a chain reaction.
If Twilight was never here, then I would have never gone with her to the Everfree forest, because I really don’t care about the animals have an orgy or not. it’s their business, not ours.
Then, she would have never told me to stay there with the machine for the night, and I would have never met Doctor Whooves, because, good news is, he joined the team.
What I mean by that is, he joined me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory. However, he couldn’t stay there and had to go back to the TARDIS, so I gave him a device, where I or he can teleport himself here for anything.
After the Doctor and Derpy left (Derpy went back to normal after the muffin craving went away and we will never forget what happened when she did.), Twilight thanked me for letting her stay at my house and left, and the door was finally fixed.
I then went back to the life I was had before Twilight came. I went back to smoking weed and getting drunk, although, I only get half drunk, but still. I did this as I waited for the next thing to be repeated, which was season 1 episode 6.
After the events of Doctor Whooves, I didn’t have to wait too long before the next thing got repeated.
So heres what happened. I was at the park with Neon, which I was invited by him to come. Since I didn’t feel like smoking weed, and besides, I smoked weed that very morning.
I call it my morning weed.
Anyways, I decided to bring a book along, since my house is a fucking library after all.
After Neon was talking for a while, I got bored with him, and decided to just read. Therefore, I read and read, while Neon kept mumbling on about stuff, that I don’t even know if it was even relevant to the universe, but ok then.
Then Neon spotted Forest, and Forest tried his best to fly away, but Neon was an earth pony, and was the Pinkie Pie of this group of friends, so of course he was able to keep up with Forest.
From what I’ve known, Forest kept flying away, but couldn’t escape Neon.
Eventually, Forest hit a mountain, and Neon Party said he was tiring to warn him. Yea, I’ll believe that when Pinkie Pie and Neon Party starts following the laws of physics.
I’m pretty sure Neon was to distract Forest and he’ll get hurt, which will then amuse Neon. That or Neon was to distract Forest, so he will later kill him and harvest his organs, much like in the fanfic Cupcakes. I’m pretty sure it was for Neon to get a good laugh, because I found out neon laughed so much that day, he got the aids somehow, but then cured itself.
First off, don’t ask me how he got aids just from fucking laughing.
Second, aids that cure itself. That seems interesting, and something i will never understand. I mean, I know that the aids exist here, just like other dieses, and no diseases cure itself. The reason I say that, that you can guess it was magic, but no. apparently, Pinkie Pie and Neon Party are like god like beings.
Well that, and there’s me, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence.
So, there’s about six gods here.
Three are rulers, two just does whatever the fuck they want to, and one really has no fucking clue what’s going on.
Later that day, after Neon was relished from the hospital on how the aids he had cured itself, he started asking everyone where Forest was. I then simply thought, if I had to guess, he wanted to see Forest be set on fire while flying really fast, since fire is his last name, which he will then laugh his ass off, and get diabetes. Then he’ll go to the hospital, and has a cure for diabetes, but letting the thing cure itself.
I was then half-right at that (I’m pretty sure you know which one I was right on).
Anyway, I told Neon that Forest was on the clouds, and then Forest went so fast, it reminds me of Ghost Rider in the skies song a little.
Therefore, what happened next was Neon finally being able to break Forest. Soon, Neon and Forest were out near the mail building, and were waiting for Wolf.
Now, Wolf went to get scrolls, that were from Celestia, and I just told him to bring the scrolls, and put it in the pile of shit that Celestia sent me.
By now, I probably have a three-thousand to five- thousand feet pile of un opened mail from Celestia. It is very big, and it’s kind of one of the attraction for the town of Stalia, although they call it the biggest pile of mail that no one gives a flaming fuck about. I’m really dead serious about that name. it’s really called that.
Moving on, Neon and Forest were waiting there for Wolf to come out. When Wolf came out, Neon set him on fire, to see if he’ll burn or not.
By this point in time, I was really concerned the mental state of Neon, because he was starting to turn out a psychopath, but it was fake fire.
I had a surprised look on my face when I heard that, because I remember in ‘No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria’, fanfic, I remember how TD got set on fire by Pinkie Pie, and it was fake. I was surprised it actually exists here.
By the way, Wolf accidently sent all the letters back to Celestia, however, I later found out it wasn’t letters.
What I found out was that Wolf was getting paper, and he wrote on it, and made it into a scroll. It was for me apparently, and the message on the paper was fuck you bicth, in with very big letters. What Wolf was doing with these was for a trolling joke he was going to do on me, but it got sent to Celestia. Now, guess what I got back in response to those letters.
She gave me a thank you letter.
I’m wondering now, is she blind, or is the universe is going to extreme lengths to stay on course. I mean, I got the letter and Celestia said I was very thoughtful for sending it. She also put in the letter that she taught me very well.
I also then thought, what did she teach me. Let’s see here, I basically forgot everything she thought me when I was in Cantorlot. Be friends with possible psychopaths. Be a troll and make your student learn something from it. Yea, that’s about it. In other words, she taught me jack shit.
Anyways, both of them enjoyed the prank they pulled on Wolf, and started doing pranks together.
For Mac, they beat the living shit out of his farm animals. Mac was so shocked by this, he started to threaten to kill Neon and Forest, until he found out it was just dead cows from other farms, he was relieved and moved with life.
Now, I’m starting to get used to Neon and all the other weird shit around the world, sometimes at this point. When stuff like this happens, I just saw it as normal, but whatever. Although, my question is, where did they go to get and beat the hell out of those other farm cows.
As for Arrell, the animals were having another orgy, while sharks were killing turkeys, with a baboon raping a random pony, along with 3 deformed ponies were fucking inanimate objects. In addition, there was the bunny friend that Arrell had, that was looking at bunny porn in a magazine.
Now, how Neon and Forest was able to pull this off, I will never know, but I believe it was Neon’s breaking the laws of physic power.
In addition, Arrell was fine with this. Although, I did see him drag a bunch of trash bags that was bleeding blood.
Now for Jack, they took away the mannequins, and replaced it with dead bodies. Jack was also fine with this as well. I’m just surprised no one asked where the dead bodies came from. However, I believe it was a fake dead body, but I’m not sure. Guess what else, they also did me, which led them to take all the beer and weed, and replaced it with apple cider and grass clippings.
I was so extremely pissed off, that I belated the fuck out of them. However, if you guessed by now, Forest was fine since Forrest can fly, while Neon just somehow randomly disappeared into thin air, and repapered in someone else’s house.
I will never understand him, or Pinkie.
They do deserve the title as a god like being.
The next day, Neon was going over to Forest’s house, which just like Rainbow Dash, it was in the sky as well. Neon then asked him to come down, which in response, he got Forest and a griffin.
Now, at this point, I was walking by, planning a way to get revenge for them stealing my weed and beer, I overheard there little conversation.
I then stopped with wide eyes, and then realized something. That griffin was that famous Brony who’s OC was a griffin. I don’t remember the name, but it was him. I recognized the voice. I just couldn’t believe how he was here in this universe.
The only way to find out was to join the conversation.
I then walked up to them, and joined them. When I joined in, Forest was telling Neon how he met the griffin. I then spoke up, saying hi and shit, and asked who the griffin was.
Well, I was correct.
He had the same name as the famous Brony did, although I forgot what it was, but I believe you know what I’m talking about. Forest then went to get something from his house, and the griffin turned to the two of us, and said he didn’t like us.
Although, he said he met the others, and liked them.
He then told us to fuck off, and Neon just went away, but I believe he was coming back with something else to ignore the griffin with, or at least talk to Forest, since he was going to be up in the clouds and shit.
However, I stayed there and explained whom I was, and the griffin was in shock. However, he then threaten me that if I didn’t leave, he’ll tell Forest and the others who I really was, and I just couldn’t take those chances.
Well, at least not yet. They’re not ready yet for the truth. Is neither Celestia nor the mane six.
I then went to my basement, and contacted TK to ask him how the fuck did another human get in to that universe. He then explained to me there is more than one way to get to other universes.
So heres the deal.
There are multiple ways to get to other universes. However, there are two types of ways to get into other universes. One way, is the legal way. There is only one way for this way, and that’s how I did it. It’s complicated, but it’s still the legal way. As for the illegal, it’s everything else.
The way the griffin did it, was the illegal way.
Now there are differences for the legal and illegal way. For the illegal way, you will be in the universe, however, that doesn’t mean there will be consequences. The punishment could be anything thet will affect you in a negative way for the choices you make on how you got to the universe, or basically anything at all. The legal way, there are some benefits for going though the legal way.
I then stayed up all night, trying to figure out a way to get the griffin guy back to his world. I could’ve killed him, but one, he’s a Brony, and two, even though I didn’t like him that much other than the other Bronies, you do have to admit, he was pretty good at music.
While I was thinking of ways to get rid of the griffin, Neon went through so much trouble to talk to Forest, but of course he keeps failing, and eventually comes to me. He told me had a plan to burn where he lives and set him on fire.
First off, that would mean to burn forest’s house, since he’s staying at forest’s house.
Second, I believe Neon has a problem with fire, because lately, he’s been wanting to burn things. I also said to him, ‘you have a serious problem of burning things, don’t you. I mean, you’re mentally unstable to be here you fucker.’
He then said he has another plan to get rid of the griffin, which is more sane then burning things. I did agree with him, I think we should have an intervention with him about setting things on fire.
While he said his plan would work, I suggested we try my plan first, which was for Neon to lure the griffin away, and bring him to my house.
When the griffin came to my house, I then knocked him out, and dragged his unconscious body along the way to Ponyville. Why you ask I go to Ponyville, to which the answers lies in his past.
You see, from what I’ve gathered, he’s been pretty much hated in Ponyville, and nobody likes him. Therefore, my plan was to drag his body on the Everfree forest trail and let anything happen, happen. While his body went through, was being gnawed and chewed at by timber wolves and get splinters and all that good shit.
We eventually came to Ponyville, with every other pony staring at us.
I knew they wouldn’t be able to recognize him, because he’s too fucked up.
Therefore, I then went up to Twilight’s door, knocked, and Twilight opened.
She said hello, but then questioned why the fuck I had a griffin with me. I then forced myself in, dropped the body on the ground, and closed the door.
I then explained everything to Twilight who the griffin was, and she had a shock face.
I then told her to do something with him.
She had a confused to look on her face, and I just simply told her to do some magic shit. She then explains getting rid of a griffin wasn’t easy.
My response was it is easy.
All you need is a hacksaw and some acid. You would also need a container to put the acid in. a bathtub is recommended to do this type of magic.
She then said just do what Pinkie did.
I then had an idea, although I would have to go back home, and think a better way for it to work. She then asked if I was all right. I then said, ‘I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore. I think I got an Idea.’
She then asked what, and I replied with, ‘don’t worry about it. Your uncle knight will take care of it.’
I then thought what the fuck I just said. I found out later, that the universe was doing it.
Now, not only will I have to repeat everything like in the show, but also the dialogue.
Fucking great!
As you can tell, I was well pissed off about it.
Twilight then said, she was a year older than me, but then stopped in her sentence and told me she doesn’t know my age. At that point, I just couldn’t fucking believe it.
I’ve been living here for 3 or 4 years, and they finally figured out that they never celebrated a birthday for me. I wonder if they will ever figure out, I’m a fucking male.
Of course I said that to her, and she just rolled her eyes at me.
I then let myself out, and somehow, the ponies in the town all recognized the griffin, and I just left him there, to be beaten the fuck out of.
Later, I was in my house, trying to figure out the calculations for my plan with the griffin, and somehow, the griffin knew who put him in Ponyville, and he just simply crawled on the floor, because all the ponies broke his legs.
Well, he said I was a bicth.
My response was what happened to love and tolerance.
A few days later went by, and the griffin then healed, and Neon threw him a party for him.
Just to tell what is going to happen, what happens is just like in the episode.
Although, I thought I saw Neon tip hooved to the griffin, and slowly lighted a match, but he saw me and I shooked my head at him, and he was ashamed at himself. We really need to give him an intervention about burning things.
Well, when the griffin left, after he was embarrassed and how Forest now thinks he was a doucebag, he walked out onto the streets, and I was there. I shot a bullet at him; however, it was a special bullet.
The bullet teleported him back to his universe, and I no longer saw him again.
I also wonder, where did he go, because to be honest, the device just sent him back to his universe, so he could’ve just been just sent to the vacuum of space.
Meanwhile… In the legion of doom.
The legion of doom was standing in the middle of that griffin guys house. One of them finally spoke Up.
“This isn’t our base. How the fuck did we end up in a guys house,” said one of the members of doom. They then finally walked out of the house, and tried to find where the fuck they were.
As they were walking out, the griffin guy turned back into the famous Brony, who had that griffin avatar.
. He woke and thought of being in Equestria was all a dream he had. The griffin guy was in his room, when all of a sudden, Mic the Microphone opens the door and there was a little famous Brony gathering behind him.
the griffin guy then asked what the fuck was going on, and Mic responded by saying a bunch of Bronies, including him, walked into his house, and had a party.
The griffin guy was worried about his stuff being wrecked, but hes was relieved when he heard nothing was moved. However, Mic then told him, that a monkey raped and humped him while he was sleeping.
The griffin guy had a shocked expression on his face, and tried to get up, but as he tried, and fell, to find his legs being broken. The ponies in ponyville broke his legs, when that Knight guy dragged him to the town the griffin guy remembered.
The griffin guy was then thought to be mentally unstable when he talked about being in Equestria, and was sent to a mental insinuation and later died of aids that Neon gave him.
Ok now, this chapter or part of the story, will be non- cannon. Ok, so if you neither remember when Twilight finally fucking figured out that they never celebrated a birthday for me, nor did they ever had an age on me? Well, Twilight took this to princess Celestia.
I was just surprised that didn’t notice they never had a file on me at all while they were on the subject, because it was related to it.
Let me explain.
When I mean a file on me, I mean by a file on which I am and all that other shit. It also shows whom I’m related to and all that good shit, but since they never had a file on me, I didn’t have to worry about pretty much everything.
In addition, to let you know, I will come back to talk about the file thing, because there is something shocking about that file. Let just say, you will wonder whom the fuck I am after you hear it, however, that won’t be till the future. If you want to know, you just have to be patient.
Now, back to the story. As I was saying, Twilight took this up to Celestia, and she too had a little worried look on her face. She then sent me a letter, asking about my birthday, age, and shit. The thing is, she felt bad for me, not having a single birthday, nor knowing my age.
The thing is, I don’t give a flaming fuck about my age. I mean, I sometimes lose track of my age.
Now, I was about over fifty five-thousand years old. Now, I know at the beginning of the story, I was over fifty thousand years, but trust me. I spend a lot of time outside of the universe then you think.
Well, after I told how I don’t give a fuck, the following day, I was ordered to go to Cantorlot to see Celestia and Twilight.
They were going to verify my age, although I don’t know how it was going to work, because I was basically over fifty five-thousand years old at this point, but my appearance looked about 21 years of age.
When I entered the castle, I was then gestured to take a seat on a pillow. Well, after I took a seat, Celestia ordered the doctors to come in and look at me.
Well, I was afraid of that. You want to know why? It’s because those off the grid powers. That syringe that I put in my blood vessels. That off the frid powers was in my blood stream.
However, fortunately enough, since pony anatomy, or at least in this universe, they don’t need to take a sample of my blood, because that’s not how checkups work in this universe. They took an x-ray picture of my bones and shit. When they were finished, they told me and Celestia I was 21 years old.
Good.
They even told me that my bones were about the right age for 22, and was surprisingly about to turn on the fourth anniversary mark when Celestia first found me out in the Everfree.
Well, Celestia then told me I could leave. I then had a feeling inside me that they felt bad for me not having a birthday at all, and they were going to throw me a surprise birthday party for me. I was even sure that Pinkie Pie was going to be making it happen. All I hoped was not to have trans-dimensional monsters and beings, due to pinkie pie breaking every law of physics, which means she could also go to other dimensions, and still not wonder where the fuck she is. Well, I was mostly right.
The party was at Cantorlot, and it wasn’t thrown by Pinkie. Although, it made me a little disappointed, because I do have to admit, that Pinkie Pie parties are pretty fun, along as no laws of physics are broken that would kill any normal, sane pony won’t happen, I love Pinkie Pie parties.
Now, before the party, I was smoking weed, while Wolf was getting drunk off his ass, or his wooden ass, which ever you prefer.
Well, my friend, Classy Jack and Forest Fire came to me to bring me to Cantorlot.
Heres what happened.
Celestia, planned this, along with Twilight of course, and sent letters to my friends, but surprisingly they were smart, because they noticed I never mentioned my age.
Heres what I mean. I explained the story, of how I met Celestia and Twilight, and explained all the things they ever did for me, although, I don’t know why I mentioned that, but moving on. The guys even asked me about my age and I had no answer for it. Therefore, it was quite fucking obvious for them that I didn’t even have a fucking birthday.
Well, I then went to Cantorlot, and It was in that ballroom, like in episode 9 season 2 where Twilight had her birthday at. They just jumped out from the darkness, or turned the lights on, and said surprise, and we had a birthday party.
Now I do know there isn’t much to talk about here, and there isn’t even a point to write this part of my life, but you’ll see why I had to write this down.
Heres the thing.
I was opening gifts.
Rainbow gave me a dumbbell, while applejack and Mac gave me some apples. (those fuckers.) In addition, of course, Twilight gave me a fucking book, but I gave it to her, because it seemed like she wanted the book as well.
Now the big thing here is Pinkie had a present for me, and it was in a separate room. Well, I went into the room, and there were monsters and other beings from other universes and Trans- dimensions.
Fuck.
In addition, I then asked Pinkie where she got them, and she said that she saw me go through the portals, or off the grid portals. Apparently, she saw, me, and went into other universes.
Now, the question is, how did she get through the other universes, because I don’t recognize any of the creatures. Besides, if you remember one of the universal rules, that you have to open a patrol to a universe, with 117.
By the way, I also, which I know this has nothing to do with anything, but might as well, because, it is somewhat important.
Ok, so, if you recall one of the universal rules. That if you go to a universes, where the dominate species are different then what you are already, you’ll somewhat change into that species. Two things you might want to note, especially when we go into the future of the story.
One, there is an expectation to that rule, because sometimes, you will change into a different form of a creature, or stay the same. It just somehow happens at complete random.
Second, you know I’m a human, right? If you recall, that I was human before I entered the official MLP universe, and then came on the other side as a pony, right? Well, heres the thing. After I went through the portal, just one time, the next time I went through it, which was after TK found me. That when I ever wanted to go off the grid, I didn’t turn back to a human! I was still in my pony form, no matter what. I was only human when I ever went to an Earth universe. But everywhere else (that was a new universe I entered or just simply being off the grid.), I was in pony form.
Now, you might question that, and might try to figure out behind this mystery. Well, I already know the answer to why I was still in pony form, however, that would be spoiling it. Saying, you guys just have to guess until whenever I tell you why and how. Trust me, this makes it more fun for you, because it’ll make you think of what it could be and you might just have fun with it altogether.
Anyway, I was then shocked to find out that Pinkie knew about off the grid. I mean, she could know about it, it’s just that she and the others weren’t ready to be told. Although, I’m pretty sure it’s obvious how pinkie went through the other universes without using 117.
Pinkie Pie physics.
Well, I then told wolf to get over here, and he did. I then told him how Pinkie knows and the only thing we could do was call in TK and Factory Dash. With Doctor Whooves, well, he was busy doing The Doctor shit.
Therefore, however, I couldn’t contact TK or Factory Dash, because they weren’t picking up the call. By the way, when I mean the call, I mean by a device that I made myself, where it’s on my left foreleg and its basically a data/communication/etc. machine.
Anyways, I had to go back to the portal, and because I had to leave, that means Pinkie could leave anytime, possibly open up a portal to off the grid, or let the monsters outside, or simply spill the beans to everyone. I told Wolf to keep an eye on things while I was going. I then teleported to the portal, and to just let you know. I teleported by using my magic.
My magic has gotten quiet good during that time period.
I then went off the grid, and went to TK. I went into his universe, or Hell to be exact. He had his demon guards and people being tortured, but since I knew TK, I was simply not a bother at all, and was also greeted as a friend by the demons.
Trust me, it does sound weird, but it’s the truth since TK is the new Devil of this universe.
I found him in his lair, where he was a conference room, talking with God as in the christen God. Yea, heres the thing. TK had a good relationship with that god, but only because he was using the devil powers fairly and respectively, that he and god of that universe are on good terms.
Therefore, I came in, and I told TK what happened. He told god of that universe he had to postpone the meeting until he got back.
TK and I then headed off to get Factory Dash.
I went through the portal, and just like the demons, the guards here also greeted us like regulars. We had a hard time finding Factory Dash, because she was at work.
Of course, while we were trying to find her, we saw all the useless pegasi and other ponies that were being killed and turned into rainbows. Yea, were saw plenty of gore and blood and heard plenty of screams.
The way I do it was not to just stand there and just look horrified of what I was seeing, but just ignore it. That, and I was used to it.
Anyway, we eventually found her, killing a pony.
We told her to come, and she came when she finished killing the pony. We then all headed back to the official MLP universe, and what do you know when we get back?
We found Pinkie Pie released the monsters upon my friends and opened a portal to off the grid, and everybody went through it.
I fucking knew it. In addition, Wolf was knocked unconscious. I told TK and Factory Dash to take care of it, while I tried to bring wolf back to conscious.
When I did, he just stayed there until I finished the job. When I went through, hell’s gates were released upon every pony there.
That, and Pinkie and Neon were smiling away, while breaking laws of physics.
God, I will never fucking understand them.
Well, I then told TK and Factory dash what I had planned after we fought off these creatures. After I did that, we then fought off the creatures, or in other words, kill them. Of course, the others guys were surprised about this, and when we got them back to their universe, they had shocked faces.
I then told wolf how much how I still don’t understand pinkie got to open up a universal hold to get off the grid.
Then Celestia asked how I knew about the place. To which I then said, “sure, let me just… now!!!”
TK, Factory Dash, wolf, and I all put on gas masks, well except for TK, since he was a Devil, and still has the knight suit on of course.
Anyway, we put on the gas masks, and released a sleeping gas; thet would knock out someone, and make them forget the last 24 hours.
Everypony just collapsed to the floor. I then went and grabbed a machine, and connected to the bodies. I put a fake memory in their minds, so when they wake up, they have something to remember.
I then told TK to clean up the damage, Wolf to pick up the dead bodies, and Factory Dash to go around and make sure there were no witnesses. If there were, I told her she could keep them, and use them for her rainbows.
What?
I really don’t give a fuck about the snobby which people. Besides, this universe has enough snobby people with the snobby French. They did that, while I try to make it look like they had the fake memory I gave them.
I also have to comment, that day, was completely random. I mean, it reminds me of that power thirst 3 video I saw on YouTube.
It was completely random. Speaking of videos, I wonder how I still remember those effil65 songs, or for any videos for that matter.
Well, I don’t know why I just wrote that in here, but whatever. When I got back home, I just got drunk off my ass and smoked weed before falling asleep.
heres the videos what i was talking about. i don't if it'll help, but here it is anyway.
Well, we finally continued with history repeating itself. Ain’t that a son of a bitch? But hey, that’s how the Universe was treating me, like a fucking dog. The minute I think I can live, it keeps putting me down. I think that’s a good analogy. Whatever, when this day came, it was all about repeating Episode 6, Boast Busters. Not the greatest of all episodes to repeat, but hey, it couldn’t be any worse than Mare Do Well, am I right? Sad part is though, I jinxed myself a long ass time ago, but eh, what do I care anymore?
In addition, just to let you know how everybody went with his or her fake memories, it was ok. Although, Arrell has a little hazy memory of those events, but doesn’t remember it completely, so we’re good. If he does remember it, then I’m sorry, but I have to put him down. The Jews don’t want him to remember.
If he knows too much then it will ruin the Jews’ plan and all of their sheckles will have been meant for nothing. I mean what Jewish conspiracy? The Jews weren’t kicked out of 106 countries. It is definitely was the 6 million that died and not just a front for the mafia so they can get a tax write off as a business expanse every time they eat at a Subway.
Shhhhh, the Jew nose, and you do not.
Anyways, after the last time I had to repeat an episode form the show in this world, I was given a letter by Celestia to practice some magic. She gave me something’s that I could practice with as well as a letter from Twilight where she gave me some suggestions on what schedule I could go on and what I could to better myself and my self esteem. And in at the end she gave a little heart, implying that crush she had on me then was still strong as steel.
Spike even wrote a letter, written in crayon and looked like it was written by a retarded child that was meant to be put down, but then the mother said, “But my baby is perfect. There’s nothing wrong with my baby. Look at it, it’s beautiful” as the child has bulged out eyes and a lisp with a survival chance of less than point five percent. Yeah we’re talking about that kind of child.
Anyways, Wolf got a letter from Spike on what he could do to help me, but at the end of the day Wolf just pukes up the letter whenever he pukes up last night’s drinks. To put it simply, Wolf hates how Celestia made it to where Wolf can receive letters. But sometimes it is an amusement to me to watch Wolf forcibly upchuck paper against his own will. It gives me a chuckle every now and then and reminds there is a little hope in this world.
I know it sounds like I’m an asshole, but hey, come on… we’re all a little bit of an asshole at heart. Except for Jack, he was a one hundred percent asshole. And he was proud of it to, in which case… fair enough? Anyways, in the end Wolf didn’t read Spike’s letter as it just gets mixed in with the puke and it gets fucked up to where you can barely read it, so it didn’t matter much anyways.
And to add insult to the wound, I didn’t care about the letters as usual. I just threw it to the side lines as usual. Besides, doesn’t she know how powerful my magic already is? Well, she probably does, but she thinks I can improve, in which case that’s true, but do I care? Nope, by this point, I’m only here for the free housing and money that gets sent to me every now and then from them while the Universe pegs me from behind.
See, I’m not all fucked, sure the Universe is metaphorically raping me from my ass, but at least I get free stuff out of the tax payer’s money. Now morally that’s wrong and under normal circumstances I would actually care and get a separate job to support myself, but this isn’t normal circumstances. This is a land where colorful talking ponies that use magic are involved, so to that, I’d say give me all the free shit that you can give me and I’ll make the best of it.
I mean I’m not upset about the whole talking pony thing, I’m just upset that I don’t get to go my own way and have to instead relive the episodes. I mean it would be cool I guess if it was with the Elements of Harmony, but at the end of the day, that is not case. Instead, I’m living through twisted versions of the episodes from the show, and sometimes I wonder if the Universe itself is a Brony, you know? Who knows, maybe the Universe is a clopper as well, and cloppers usually get defensive about their fetish so I better shut my mouth now.
I’m kidding, I’m kidding… except for the clopper part. Look, you want to fuck a horse’s ass, I get it. There are live horses where you are at, just go over there and let the horse peg you because I know you’re a sicko that’s into that sick shit. Just don’t come complaining to me when a baby horse pops out of your asshole nine months later.
Anyways, still I didn’t care about Celestia’s letters. I mean, I have over a thousand spells written and created by me. Well not really, those numbers are inflated in hopes the description for the journal sells. Really it was like a couple of hundred spells that were created by me and half of it was for the convenience of me and Wolf, but mostly me, and sometimes only for Wolf. Hey, that weed and sometimes alcohol has to come from somewhere you know.
And the princesses don’t give me and Wolf enough bits every two weeks to spend it on fancy things. I have to pay bills every now and then. I need to pay a “tax” that is really just a money laundering scheme to the town of Stalia. Well anyway, I just ended up smoking weed while Wolf got drunk.
But that’s not how I’m starting this part of my life off. Oh no, we’re starting off somewhere else… the day when we repeated Episode 6: Boast busters… and it was in the morning…
I had just gotten up, started off my day, the usual shit. I had a cup of coffee, and yes I drink coffee. I know, shocking. It doesn’t seem like I would go for coffee, but every now and then I’ll go for it, as long as it isn’t from StarCucks… Starbuck’s sister location.
Anyways, that’s not good enough; let’s see where I should start specifically… I got it. Ok so it was a bright and sunny morning, everything was calm and fine, nothing to note about. It’s just one of those every day mornings where everyone goes about their business and it’s just an ordinary day. That or at least it feels just like any other day.
Everything was going inside the house slash the library; even to this day I forget it’s supposed to be the town’s library that I’ll just endlessly repeat myself on that fact. Anyways, everything was fine inside the house, well… except for the living area. It was a bit of a mess, and while I am a tad bit guilty of messing with it, it was mostly Wolf’s fault… that fucking wooden son of a bitch.
And speaking of Wolf, he was lying down on his wooden back, all relaxed and chilled and just melting on the couch, taking up all of the space. He even had a little smile sitting on his face as his eyes were covered with a pair of sunglasses, pretty much trying to hide his eyes as he was smoking on a familiar green plant I’m sure you all know by now. Although to be fair, Wolf’s eyes get a little reddish when he’s smoking weed, but for the most part it’s just the same light green color just like the other timber wolves. I’m not even sure why he was doing it because no one else really cared. But I suppose with Wolf, he was always the ones trying to go for looks, especially if there was a mare that happened to come by, he would want to make himself prepared at all times, despite ninety percent of time he wasn’t.
And as for me, I was outside, checking my mailbox, as all the ponies walked by me and went on with their day and I kept to mine. And as soon as I had checked the mail, I opened the door, walked in as I was using my magic to flip through the mail. I had a bit of a disgruntled, but mostly dull look on my face as it was unamusing to me with that I had gotten in the mail. Over all it was just mostly either Junk mail or bills with the occasional small packages such as a postcard from someone or Wolf taking all the bits and ordering from a catalogue because he so needs that cocktail blender, fucking Wolf, that wooden motha fucka... But then again that was a very good blender. Small and reliable, very nice shit I must say.
But that’s beside the point though, the mail was mostly the same shit, just on a different day is all. So as I was walking through, flipping through the mail, I also used my magic to close the door behind me, so no one could be an asshole and look into our private lives, not that we had one of much anyways to begin with. And it’s not like it was interesting to begin with, but whatever, you got to close that door or else Mr. Johnson from next door is just going to come in and take all the sugar… that’s my sugar you fucking bitch. You get a cup when I tell you that you can, you diabetic… fat lard piece of shit. Good thing Mr. Johnson is only part of my imagination.
Anyways, after flipping through felt like a ton of mail, even though it was only 7 envelopes in total, I said to Wolf, while continuing to eye at the bills that had just came in, “Junk, junk, bill, bill, bill, junk, and more bills. You’d think being the town’s only library that they would cut us a break and lower what we owe, but Stalia is a bitch.”
I had said it with a bit of an annoyed expression on my face. And after I had said that, Wolf then rose his head up and starred at me with his sun glasses still on and said to me, “You’re still paying bills? I thought you paid those last month?”
I then said to Wolf as I had lowered the mail down a little bit and started walking towards him and around the couch, “Yeah I did. It’s called a monthly payment; you pay the city every month if you want a place to live in. And if it’s not the city it’s the bank, or a land owner or whoever owns your ass.”
I had said that while rolling my eyes at Wolf, as Wolf then asked me in his drug minded state, “Well at least you get the water and gas for free right?”
His eyes were following me as I was walking around the couch to be in front of him and talk to him about the bills a little bit.
I had then said to him while rolling my eyes a little bit again towards him, “No Wolf, that’s extra.”
Wolf then said to me, pretty much high off his mind as he could be, “Whhaaaaaaaattttt? That’s… that’s bullshit man. That’s not right. We need to go out and… start a riot over that shit and have them change that cause that shouldn’t… I don’t know… happen or some shit.”
As Wolf was in the middle of his little comment, he had used his wooden timber wolf paws to grab a lighter off the table and use his other paw to light the bud that he had also grabbed off the coffee table and get his buzz on.
I then said to him, “Yeah well that fantasy land sounds nice and all, but this is reality, and reality is a business, so they charge for everything you do. And even then I’m not even mad at the bills, I’m mad at you.”
I had a little bit of an angered look towards Wolf as I then used my magic to take his little green bud away from his mouth as well as removing his sun glasses. And as those things were floating away from him, he had a look of a bit of sadness form on his face as he tried to reach out for those items, but he was on his wooden back and his timber wolf paws were just not long enough for him to reach out and take it from me.
I think he even made a slight noise too while doing so, but I didn’t care as I just threw it to the side to where he couldn’t get to it.
And as soon as I had done so, he quickly looked at me with a sad, yet questioning face on and looked into my eyes with his eyes and said to me, “Awwwww… come on Knight, why do you have to be that way? I thought we were smoking buddies?”
I then said to him, with still my slightly angered face on, “We are, but I’m the one that has to be in charge here since this is our lives now. And I don’t think we can escape it either.”
That last bit I had rolled my eyes up, towards the ceiling, pretty much referring to the Universe and how it wouldn’t let me be on my own.
Wolf then said to me as my eyes returned to his eyes for attention, “You mean that whole universe thing? Don’t worry about it. And besides, you need to relax, chill on the couch and let the day pass you by and stuff.”
Wolf had said his bit with a relaxing, a bit of a charming smile on his face and eyes.
I then said to him, “Yeah the Universe doesn’t allow me to chill Wolf. Whatever it wants me to do; I’ll have to do it.”
Wolf then said to me with a bit of a curious look on his face, “Well what about you back before you came here then? Surely you were relaxed and cool then right and you can be relaxed and cool now?”
I then said to him, “Well back then Wolf, I was a kid that got into things that I should or should not have gotten into. Not only that, but I had TK, Factory Dash and… Lawman… by my side to sort of help me out. But now I’m kind of alone and stuck with you as TK and Factory Dash do their own thing. So I have to be the one that takes charge.”
I had said that Lawman bit with a sigh, mostly because it was kind of still hurtful to think about him still being gone even by then.
However, Wolf then said to me, “Well how about those new friends of yours, Arrell, the red neck one, that grey guy, that red creature and uhh… that green fella.”
I then said to Wolf, “They are not my friends Wolf. I’m only here because the show is repeating itself and the Universe sort of forced me to be here. We just need to hold out like I said until maybe Season 3… maybe 4 of the show then we’ll be done and we can maybe do our little trip around Equestria.”
Wolf then had a little smile on his face as he then said to me, “You still want to do that? That was like… seven or so years ago.”
I then said to him with my head hanging down a little bit and also a somewhat disappointing look on my face with a hint of depression, “Yeah, I know…”
I then looked back into Wolf’s eyes and said to him with determination, “But until then we need to talk.”
Wolf then asked me as he relaxed himself on the couch and repositioned himself by putting his long wooden back legs on the coffee table, putting his paws around the back of his head with a smirk and just kicking back, “Talk about what Knight?”
I then yelled at him while spreading my right pony forearm around, “THIS WOLF! THIS FUCKING MESS!”
Wolf then said to me calmly with a straight look, “Well some of this stuff is yours too you know.”
I then said to him with a bit of fury in my eyes as I moved closer to him and put my left hoof on his wooden chest, “It’s only three or four things! The rest of this is your shit! You have greased up tinfoil wrap and empty dirty bags everywhere, a half eaten burger, three molding pizzas, and a few dead half eaten rats!”
Wolf then calmly said to me, “Well the rats were asking for it once they started eyeing for my moldy pizza.”
I then brought up to Wolf as I brought the bills back out and put in front of his face, “AND SECOND THING, YOU NEED TO SLACK OFF THE SHIT WOLF! THE BILLS ARE HIGH ENOUGH AS IT IS!”
Wolf then calmly said as he was casually looking at his left wooden paw, “Please, it isn’t that much.”
I then opened up the bills from their respective envelopes and started listing off the prices, “Water, three hundred bits, gas; four hundred and fifty two bits; electricity, eight hundred and thirty eight bits; garbage, two hundred and fourteen bits!? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET THAT HIGH OF A BILL FOR THE FUCKING GARBAGE PICK UP WOLF!? IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AT A STEADY THRITY BITS A MONTH!?”
Wolf then said to me while eyeing me with a serious look, “Well maybe the garbage ponies shouldn’t be taking my shit every week.”
I then yelled at Wolf, “THAT SHIT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THROWN OUT!?”
Wolf then said to me, “Well they shouldn’t try to attack me. Those garbage ponies are racist against timber wolves you know?”
I then continued to have a face of fury as I then said to Wolf, “YOU ATTACKED THEM WOLF!”
Wolf then said to me with a smug look, “And do you have any proof to back up those claims?”
I then said to him, “THEY SEND PICTURES OF YOU ATTACKING THEM EVERY WEEK!?”
I then showed him a picture that was attached to a letter of complaint from them that was provided by the garbage ponies, where it shows that Wolf in a very drunken state clearly attacking the garbage ponies dressed up in blue jump suits, both normal, typical everyday looking stallions, who were trying to do their job, in horror as they were trying to run away with shock and fear on their faces from Wolf.
Wolf then was silent for a bit, and had a bit of a worried slash disappointed look on his face as he then said to me, “Huh… Well can’t you just pay for the bills anyways? Doesn’t the city pay you for being the librarian of Stalia?”
I was then calmed down a bit as I then proceeded to put down the bills and said to Wolf, “Yeah… they do… but they only give me twenty one bits.”
Wolf then said with a curious look on his face, “Why only twenty one?”
I then said to Wolf, “Because the mayor is cheap and gives me an I.O.U. in the mail every payday.”
Wolf then said, “Oh… well about Celestia’s payment to you?”
I then said to Wolf, “Yeah, but she only gives me just barely enough to pay to live here. But we do get a discount when it comes to the property taxes at least since I’m still a sort of student of hers, so I get it as a tax write off, but still.”
Wolf then asked me with a bit of a hopeful smile on his face while he moved his right wooden paw around, “Well can’t you use your magic an make a spell to counterfeit bits or something.”
I then said to Wolf, “I already have a spell for that. And I don’t feel like using it. And besides I think there’s a limit to it anyways and the banks can find out that it’s fake anyways. So it wouldn’t really matter. And if you want a moral reason too, we would be adding inflation. Sure maybe not much, but that’s still bad for everyone else.”
Wolf then said, “Oh… well that’s disappointing.”
Wolf had said that with a sad; disappointingly look on his face as we had both calmed down from our heated discussion.
And then a moment of silence came around for a few seconds… until Wolf came out of nowhere like it seemed and asked me with a smile, “So you want to get high right now?”
I had just looked at him with an emotionless expression, and I think you know the answer to that.
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: Universal Magic: Episode 10: Boast Busters Your Blue Balls:
And from there, we continue to where we left off at… yeah I don’t know why I put that little… Episode thingy there… it’s kind of nice. But at the same time, it speaks volumes, it says something about society and… uhh… shit, I guess.
Anyways, if you couldn’t guess what my answer was to Wolf after he asked me if I wanted to get high with him, the answer was as clear as day and obvious… the answer was yes. So I took a joint from the coffee table, got on the couch, grabbed the lighter I threw to the ground after Wolf was pissing me off, and me and Wolf just blazed the morning away.
Me and Wolf had our legs put up on the coffee table as our muscles relaxed and we unwounded our minds and thoughts from throughout the past days. Our backs were completely flattened out with our heads facing the ceiling. And Wolf had his sunglasses back on as well while I started to have a little red coming into my eyes, as we were relaxing and just talking to each other, with the conversation going in whatever direction it decided to go and just not worrying about a single thing.
And it went on for a good chuck of the morning as well. Although I ain’t detailing everything we said, so let me give you a hint as to what was going on towards the end of our talks, because I can do whatever I want… and you can’t, because I said so. Well unless you’re the Jews, the Jews eventually finds out about it one way or another; especially the big, long, nosed ones that are big enough to where you can smoke a cigar in the rain without putting out the fire.
Sounds ridiculous, but hey they exist somewhere in the middle of the desert. Don’t believe me; go ask some guy with the last name Goldstein, all Goldstein’s know about this stuff. Although some might try to deny that claim, so you didn’t get it from me or else they’re coming after me for sure. Shhhh… ok back to what I was doing, oh right, me and Wolf’s conversations. Well I guess I’ll have to choose a point to start at uhhh hmmmm, ok, so after like two hours of talking to each other, we ended up taking a moment of silence. Just laying there, letting our minds run away with whatever was coming up in our heads and shit.
And eventually after like five minutes of silence, Wolf spoke up to me as the silence in the room started to envelope me and my mind, “Hey Knight?”
I then had said calmly to him as the drugs had well taken affect and calmed my senses, especially my sense towards Wolf and how he was acting, “What is it?”
Wolf then said to me, also in his drugged out tone of voice, almost as if he was drunk in a way, but a calm, sleepy drunk you could say, “Do you ever think about your life back on Earth?”
I then said to him, “Wh-what do you mean by that Wolf?”
Wolf then said to me, “I mean like… do you ever think about the people you left and think about how you used to be?”
I was then silent for a bit, trying to think about an answer as my mind was wandering amongst other things, but I did my best to concentrate on the topic, so I responded to him with, “I don’t know. I mean I forget about it most of the time.”
Wolf then said to me, “Well… I mean… when you do think about it… what do you think?”
I then said to him, while still in my manipulated state of mind, “Jeez Wolf, you’re asking some hard questions there. Ummm… Well to be begin with, like I said, I don’t think about it that often, I just uhhh… forget you know? It’s been so long, so many… years since I’ve been there. Last thing I can recall is that I finished my first years of high school or my second maybe… and I found the portal, went my own way, and soon before you know it, I’m here smoking a green one with you Wolf.”
Wolf then said to me while looking at the ceiling still, “Yeah but… what about the ones that you were close to?”
I then told Wolf, “I don’t even… remember those people anymore. All I know is that I was close to them but over time I drifted further and further apart from them. And eventually I just wiped their memories of me away and ran away from it. Never looking back.”
Wolf then asked me, “Do you ever wish that you could ever meet them again, at least one of them?”
I then said to him after taking a minute to think about Wolf’s question, “Yeah… the more I think about that, the more I don’t. Probably because I am long gone from that period. I mean it was a short period from my life compared to the rest of it, it’s more or less a blip in my history.”
And then it went all back to silence.
And as the silence took me over, I thought what I had said some more and I then spoke up to break the silence and said to Wolf, “But you know what I do miss though Wolf from that little time in my life?”
Wolf then said to me, “What is that then?”
I then took my time and said to Wolf, “I miss the summer nights. I oddly remember that the most about my time from there. I mean even before finding TK, I used to stay up all night long, play some games, relax and watch some movies, sometimes all night long and watching series of movies. I remember even being outside during those summer nights and uhh… it was just one of those nights you know. Everything is calm and relaxed; you’re hearing crickets somewhere, but not sure where it is. You might even be able to see some stars out, the good shit. And you just let the night and the atmosphere take you in. You even get a smell for that sweet summer night air… all that good shit. That I do miss.”
I had a little smile on my face while saying that to Wolf, a kind of smile that you could tell with just one look that I was remembering something very nostalgic and that it was taking me back to a much more simpler time for me in my mind. For a few seconds, my mind was starting to be tricked into thinking that it was those old days again. But then I quickly shook my head after realizing I didn’t finish what I had to say to Wolf.
The smile quickly went away and transformed into a more serious face as I said to Wolf, “But I uhh… don’t know if I would want to go back to it. Honestly, I think I’d prefer being here than there right now, despite all the shortcomings that I have received.”
Wolf then started to change the subject on me as he then asked me, “Well what games was it that you played?”
I then gave a little burst of laughter, a small one that wasn’t too loud with a little smile upon my face as I then said to Wolf, “Well I don’t know about that. I would have to remember what years it was. Ummm… let me think uhh… I think it might have been 2011, 2012, something like that. I think one of those games was Minecraft I’m sure. Yeah I’m sure of it; it was popular during those days.”
Wolf then said to me, “Minecraft? Well what’d you do in that game?”
I then said to Wolf, “It was a free for all, do what you want, build what you want out of scuffed Lego blocks. I played it on an Xbox 360.”
Wolf then said to me as he started to have a little smile on his face, “Wow… that sounds kind of gay.”
I then quickly sat up by bringing up my back and holding myself up with one of my hooves and gave a weird look to Wolf and I then said to him, “Gay? I mean I know the 360 was kind of gay, but certainly wasn’t all the way gay.”
I then thought about it for a moment after saying that and then a thought had hit me, and then a little angered look came on to my face as I had then realized and said to Wolf, “Wait a minute… you don’t even know what a 360 is!”
Wolf then said to me, while remaining lying down, “Well when you take me out to the outside of the universe to have some fun I will. But from what you described, it sounds kind of gay.”
I thought about it some more and I then said to him, and went back to a more calm, ok face that you would give when someone finally tells you that they fucked your sister last night, but you claim that they couldn’t because she is dead. But then that someone tells you that they went and dug up her grave and rapped it while doing it anally with no Vaseline, and then after thinking about it, you come to accept that it is plausible that someone could have done it, you just accept it. Yeah, that kind of an ok look is what I had on my face.
I then said to Wolf, “Well, it was kind of gay, but only with the Kinect. You kind of looked like a gay asshole while doing… whatever with it. Now the Wii, now that was gay.”
Wolf then said to me, “Even the name sounds gay.”
I then said to Wolf, “I know, you basically held a long white stick, or a black one, in your hand and do certain hand motions with it.”
Wolf then said to me, “Oh that sounds definitely gay.”
I then responded with, “And sometimes you would have to put a condom on it too so you could get a good grip on it.”
Wolf then said to me, “Now that sounds super gay.”
And I then said to Wolf, “And I think the only game that I had with was Brawl and Kirby.”
Wolf then just simply said, “Supr Ultra Gay.”
I then said to Wolf, “Well I wouldn’t go that far, I mean I know brawl had its problems, and Melee was certainly the better one, but uhh… Brawl had its moments… I think. It had Sonic so that remains questionable. Oh wait you mean Kirby… yeah that is Super Ultra Gay. All Kirby does is suck on guys for the entire game and he’s pink. I mean he just wants those guys inside of him all the time. But I’ll tell you what wasn’t gay though… Superman 2, the director’s cut on blu-ray on PS3, the best game ever made for that’s system.”
Wolf then said to me, “Now that doesn’t sound gay at all. Sounds like it should be on a top 10 list.”
I then let the silence return and take us back into its embrace as I continued to be in the position that I was in. And after thinking about it, the words top ten lists got me thinking about how the internet was back before I had left.
I had then said to Wolf, “Top ten lists? Now I’m starting to remember all those top ten videos on YouTube. Those were some days, that’s for sure. It was like everything had a top ten. Top ten games of the sixth gen. Top ten movies of this year. Top ten cars of this decade. Top ten presidents of the United States. I think most of it came out for a quick buck too. It was cheap, easy to make, and raked in those views.”
I then thought about something for a few seconds and an idea came to mind as I then asked Wolf, “Say Wolf, what is your top ten list?”
Wolf then asked me with a bit of confusion in his voice, “Top 10? Top 10 for what?”
I then thought about it for a few quick seconds and quickly came up with, “Top ten of uhhh… top ten mares that you would fuck the most.”
Wolf then said to me, with a smile forming across his face, “Now that I like. Let me think, there was a lot of sweet asses out there. I guess those two twins from the Celestia’s school I would put at 10 and 9. At 8, I would put down that marefriend of yours Twilight.”
I then said to him with a quick and dead straight remark, “She isn’t my girlfriend. She wishes though…”
Wolf then said to me, “Whatever. 7 would be that cheerleader, whatever her name was. I fucked her once though, had a nice ass. 6 Would be Cadence when she came over the one time. I know she’s married and all, but if I could get her to cheat on her husband with me, it would be perfect. 5 would be that hot stripper I met at that club and was lucky enough to bang.”
I then also said quickly and dead straight forward to Wolf with, “That was a dream that you had last week.”
Wolf then said to me, “And I would bang her again regardless. 4 would be Miss Hot.”
I then said to Wolf, with once again a dead straight face, “That was from a magazine… from over seventy years ago… that you found in the dumpster next to the old abandoned sex toys shop near down town in Stalia… yesterday.”
Wolf then just said to me, “And I would still probably bang her if she was in front of me.”
I then said to Wolf, “If she was, she’s probably be really old”
Wolf then said to me, “Eh, I’ve done worse.”
I then said to Wolf, “Or she is nothing but dust or a rotting corpse, slowly withering away in an unmarked grave somewhere in the local graveyard.”
Wolf then said to me, “Eh, beggars can’t be chooser.”
Wolf then continued to say calmly, like what he had just said was normal, and to be fair for him it is normal, “3 would be Fluttershy just because she’s into animals.”
I then said to Wolf, “She isn’t into bestiality.”
Wolf then said to me, “Well I like to fantasy about her, me tying her up, and forcing myself into her. Oh yeah that sounds like a lot of fun.”
I then said to Wolf, “That’s considered rape. And you only met her that one time.”
Wolf then said, “Not if she enjoys it. 2 Would be Celestia because of that nice big ass of hers. And my top 1 would be Molestia, because she’s my bitch… and I’m her bitch too.”
I then said to Wolf, “Uhhh huh…”
Wolf then asked me, “So what about you, what’s your top 10 uhhh… I don’t know uhhh… ponies?”
I then said to him, “Well I really don’t know about that since times have change, so I guess I’ll have to go by my old list from Earth. Ten would be Cadence, nine would be Derpy, eight would be Vinyl. Seven would be Trixie, six would be Rarity, five would be Fluttershy, four would be Pinkie, three would be Celestia, two would be Rainbow Dash, and one would be Luna, and only because of the night relations. I kind of have a soft spot for that stuff.”
Wolf then had a little smirk on his face as he then said to me, “Oh, so that’s who you would fuck huh?”
I then said to him with a little annoyed face, “Wolf, I swear to…”
And then our little conversation was interrupted when a loud knock came on our door. It was very sudden and felt like it came from out of nowhere, yet that’s kind of how knocks on the door goes. In fact, it was that kind of knock where someone can develop PTSD from it, or at least pretend to, and when the girl scouts come a knocking on their front door, they can yell like a banshee and sue the ever believer fuck out of them for doing so.
Oh wait… never mind, it was that kind of knock so there you go. And when the knock on my front door happened, it felt like it came from out of nowhere, my head turned and my expression changed into a curious look as I wasn’t expecting anyone at my door at that time. For Wolf however, the knock startled him, or at least that’s putting it lightly.
What really happened with Wolf was once the knocking came from the door, Wolf’s emotions changed from a chilling, relaxed look on his face to a scared and worried look on his face from zero to sixty real quick. And all the while he quickly rolled over and fell face first on to the hard floor as he made a little yelp sound. And after being on the ground for a quick second or two, I turned my head towards him in curiosity as I was wondering what was going on with him.
And soon before you knew it, Wolf quickly got up and said as he struggled to gather all of the green shit that was lying nearby and making an attempt to gather all of it all with his wooden paws, “AH FUCK IT’S THE FUZZ!”
However, he was more or less clumsy with his movements as well failing to realize he has no thumbs, so he was automatically inferior as a living thing, as some of the buds fumbled from his grasp. However, Wolf didn’t seem to notice that he was being careless with his precious drugs and just stared at me with a state of worry etched deep into his face.
And as he was staring at me with his big green eyes, he looked towards me and said, somewhat being loud in his tone of voice, “Quick knight, you stall them for as long as you can while I go to the bathroom and flush the evidence! Remember Knight, they can’t come into your home without you inviting them in first, that’s the law!”
And then Wolf, while trying his best to move on a constant rotating of two to three legs, made a run for the bathroom, or at least as fast he could since the balance was a bit off for him.
And as he was on his way to the bathroom as my eyes followed him, not saying a single word towards him, he then briefly stopped in his tracks, turned his head towards me with a state of worry still on his face, and said to me quickly, “And remember not to buy into their scam! Whatever they say to you, don’t trust the lemon cookies, it’s not what you think it is, IT’S A LIE!”
And then Wolf, without giving any context to what he was saying to me about, ran off up the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor, and all I had to say under my breath was, “Typical Wolf…”
And so with Wolf out of the picture, I calmly shook my head, got up from the couch and hopped down lightly on to the floor, and headed towards the front door.
And just to also let you know, that I had been smoking weed a lot, and it’s not for comedic proposes, but it is somewhat is relaxing. It really takes the edge off sometimes, that and I feel like I’m rebelling against the system you know? I know by this point it doesn’t matter in my life, but eh, makes me feel like I’m still a teen back on earth. It makes me feel cool and that I’m hanging out with the cool kid that my parents and teachers tell me that is a bad influence on me, that bad influence being Wolf.
And let me tell ya, he is a bad influence indeed. I mean I wouldn’t listen to the wooden fuck if he told me to jump off a bridge, but I would probably end up, I don’t know, staying up pass curfew if it came to that situation.
Yeah, take that society, thinking you can tell me what to do and when to go to bed. Fuck you! I’ll go to bed when I want to go to bed. I AM YOUNG AS THE NIGHT BABY! Sorry, I think I had a little too much to drink last night. Celestia wouldn’t let me have any alcohol so I had to go to rubbing alcohol. I know it isn’t much and you can barely get a buzz on, but it does the trick though. And the best part, Celestia doesn’t know. Although she is going to get suspicious about where the alcohol is going to so I’ll have to find an alternative soon.
Anyways, I headed towards the door, calmly and taking my time despite the ones on the other end have been patiently been waiting for me. And when I got to the door, I simply opened it.
And all of a sudden, two colts, or I believe the correct term is colt. I don’t know. Two small boy children. Whatever. Two colts came up to my door and was standing right in front of me. One was a tall small boy child while the other one was shorter and more pudgy like. The tall was one a weird lime green color while the other one was a light red-ish red colored, with both their manes being short and colored to their opposite coat color.
However their body features were a bit odd. The tall one looked like he was born in an inbred family from West Virginia, and then somehow again in the state of Vermont. He also had that weird lip going on where the bottom portion overlaps the top part. And the short one looked like Igor from the many cartoon parodies of Frankenstein. You name it, the one big eye with the one small eye, crooked, overgrown teeth, and a weird back problem going on. Anyways, they told me to come and see the magnificent Harry.
I’m not kidding. That’s the Trixie pony for me. His name is fucking Harry. Of course, that sounds like Harry Potter, since he’s a unicorn and all.
There’s just one problem though. He’s not British. I mean, I always joked back on earth, that all British people are all wizards and go to Hogwarts. I also joked that Rarity had a British voice accent a little, and I just said she was a wizard. I even gave her a somewhat funny back story. She was once owned by harry Potter.
I also had one for Fluttershy as well.
The thing is with this one, is that the reason she is shy and is because she is trying to forget painful memories that she had when she was in the Vietnam War. Don’t ask where that came from. Although it doesn’t really compare to a hambone skeleton in a wheelchair that was also in Vietnam. Which reminds me… of something… that I probably shouldn’t mention right now…
Anyways, I stared at the two small boy children with a confused look on my face and I kindly asked the two, “What do you two want?”
I had said it was a bit of a disgruntled tone in my voice, but just enough to make it seem that I still cared and was curious about it all, like hope, but hope always die in the end, just like for my will to live some days.
Well I asked the question and the small red one said in a sort of stereotypical Igor accent, “Ah yes, good day good gentlecolt. My name is Dog, and my friend here next to me is named Tails. Say hello tails.”
Dog had a creepy, almost sinister like smile going on while talking to me, as his big oversized eye was starting to freak me out. However, I kept my cool and carried on while the two small boy children continued to introduce themselves.
Anyway, Dog was looking at Tails for him to respond and Tails simply said while looking like Wolf if he was high but also had a mental disability, “Argh, argh, Argh, Agh agh!”
While Tails was trying to speak to me, he was pointing in random direction with his hooves, while still looking calm, relaxed, and a little bit happy, even though he was probably being tormented on the inside just like the rest of us. That’s how you know that we are all the same on the inside.
Well, I started to squint my eyes a bit towards the two small boy children as I asked the rounded one, “Is there something that I should know about him?”
Dog then said to me, with a bit of a disappointed look on his face, “Ah yes, he has a condition that is irreversible. Let’s just say the gene pool was a little short for him and in the end had to be raised by animals in the woods. Don’t think about it; just know that he is the result from an unfortunate experiment from two lovers of the same blood.”
I then stared at Dog and then asked him, “Why haven’t I seen you two here before?”
I was starting to get mighty suspicious of them, even though they were pretty much the snips and snails for me. In fact, that seemed to make sense. It really does if you think about snips and snails.
Anyways, Dog then said, back to his suspicious, sinister smile, “Well we just happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to come by and drop you a message.”
I then asked him with still my squinting eyes, keeping my line of sight on them and taking for what they had to say with a grain of salt, “What message?”
Dog then said to me, with a bit of a surprise in his tone, “Why for you to come out and see the Magnificent Harry of course!”
I then asked him, “Who the fuck is he? Some guy who won’t come out of the closet from underneath the stairs?”
Dog then said with an optimistic tone, “Why of course not! He is the Magnificent Harry, the most powerful magician of all in Equestria! The one who can beat anypony at any game they choose! Someponies even say he can even move the moon without any assistance from the Princess of the Night!”
I then went from looking at the two small boy children and raised my head up and just stared into empty space for a bit so I could think this all through in my head.
And in my head, I was saying to myself, ‘Well son of a bitch, I guess this isn’t my day today. This is the day I guess where history repeats itself. It is weird reliving the episodes from the show though; I wonder how this’ll turn out though for this one? It might be small and easy, it might not. I mean I rather just stay in all day and call in sick, but I’m pretty sure the Universe is going to force me to go out today regardless if I like to or not. So I guess I’m going out one way or another, either through guns ablazing or going out and repeating history. I wonder what would happen if I did fight the universe though? Should I tempt that fate? Hmmm… probably not, I’d get my ass kicked. But still, it sounds like I’ll have to deal with this one and be in the spotlight… again…’
And so I went out of my own train of thought, looked back down on to the two small boy children and looked them right in the eye and said while having a face filled with determination on my face, “Alright then, take me to him then. I’m willing to take him on and put him in his place.”
I even had a little smirk on my face going on as well, but the two small boy children were looking at me funny.
Well Tails wasn’t, but Dog was, and Dog just simply looked at me and said, “Well he is out in the middle of Stalia were everypony has gathered to see him perform, so I’m sure you can find your way.”
But then Dog returned back to his sinister looking smile and then said to me, “But we’ll see you there though. And when you do come, you shall be amazed and astonished by the amazing feat of the Magnificent…”
I then slammed the door on the two small boy children as my expression of determination disappeared and Dog just simply said as he was cut off, but still finished his sentence with, “Oh… uhh… ok then. Well we’ll see you there!”
And then the two small boy children left as I then quickly turned around towards the direction where Wolf went to get rid of the evidence and yelled out to him while placing my right hoof around my mouth, like what human beings do from time to time for whatever reason, “Hey Wolf, are you finished yet!?”
Wolf then yelled back at me from all the way from the bathroom, in which case apparently he used the upstairs bathroom, “Not yet! Are they gone!”
I then yelled back towards Wolf, “Yeah it was just two kids that was at the door!”
Wolf then said to me, “So that’s what they’re doing nowadays huh! They’re using midgets to trick ya, I told ya knight, don’t trust them!”
I was going to argue to Wolf that it was just the two kids and not the fuzz, but I decided not to because it was pointless to rage against the machine like that.
So I then just yelled back to Wolf, “Yeah, you were right Wolf, those midgets were suspicious!”
Wolf then yelled back towards me, “What did I tell ya! You know, I remember seeing a midget once back when I was living in the Everfree, he was trying to sell me insurance for…”
I then yelled back towards Wolf and cut him off as I was about to head out the door, “I’m going to stop you right there Wolf, I’m leaving, history is repeating itself again. I’m going to go see some pony who just came out of the closet and is doing “magic” tricks out in public! Do what you want, just don’t burn everything down before I get back!”
I had a little bit of an annoyed look on my face while yelling that back to Wolf.
However, Wolf then simply said to me, “Oh I love magicians! Hold on, I’ll be right there!”
And then a moment of silenced passed us by as I waited for Wolf to come down, and the longer I was waiting, the more I was being annoyed by Wolf’s wooden slow ass. I had thought he was going to come down and see with ne, yet wasn’t downstairs yet.
So I yelled back up towards Wolf and asked him, “How long does it take to flush a few buds down the toilet!?”
Wolf the yelled back towards me and he said, “Yeah… I’m not going to lie, I kind of got distracted and decided to take some of your medicine that you have in the cabinet in the bathroom here.”
I then yelled back towards him, “I don’t have any medication!”
Wolf then was silent for a bit until a few seconds later when he yelled back, “Oh… ohhhhh… no… I think I’m going to be seeing demons on later tonight then. Well, if I’m popping pills, I might as well take them all… go on ahead of me Knight, I’ll meet you there! The expired medicine shall not defeat me!”
LATER IN THE MIDDLE OF STALIA…
While Wolf was in the middle of doing god knows what, I went ahead and made my way to wherever the event was taking place at. And while on my way going there, everypony was making their way there as well, pretty much applying that Dog and Tails were making the rounds and spreading the news to everyone in Stalia.
And as the other ponies were passing me by, I could see they all had excitement and wonderment across their faces, wondering who this mysterious pony who was so powerful who claims can also move the moon. So after a bit of a walk, I eventually made my way to the center of town to be met with a huge, probably made on fifty cent on the hour, wooden stage with purple curtains to drape it and give it some piazzas’.
And surrounding that stage was a huge crowd of ponies, pretty much the entire town of Stalia was there, except for a few. Like maybe a few, but I don’t know, I had just gotten there, I could barely tell who was who. They all looked the same to me. Now I know that may sound racist, but… uhhh… it is racist and, yet the bombs haven’t been dropped and god has yet to give a damn to get off the couch and stop jerking his dick off to Jewish porn.
You can trust me with that statement; God is on the Jewish conspiracy. He knows what he is doing, and is planning on putting all the goys down under after they die. Only the good goys that give the sheckles to him at church time will go to heaven. I mean it is true that God has a very long nose and likes the sound of money; it is only merely the truth that I speak of. It’s why Israel is our greatest ally, because god moved the embassy and uhh… something. I forget the rest, but god is a Jew and is on the whole Jewish elite business.
I mean did you know God’s last name was Goldstein? Yeah… Bet they don’t teach you that in your history class huh? Those commies in school are only telling you lies and Michael Jackson knew that too. That’s why they had to put him down because only he knew where he put the Sonic 3 game with his music in it, the real one. Anyways, not only was the crowd there, but all of my so called friends were there as well, more or less towards the front.
Well, I went to the crowd and gently and politely shoved my way through and pushing anyone that was in my way and telling them to shove it. And after all of that, my friends were there and I could see them at least for me a bit of a surprise that they were right there. But then when I thought about it, it was just like the episode, so it was only natural it had seemed for me to be near them. Neon, Forrest, Arrell, who also had AssHat on his back, and Mac were all up in front and I was right next to them, while Jack was trying to be better then Harry up on the stage. And from there, I could also see a better look at this Harry. He had a black mane color with a lushes style for a mane.
It even had that swirl to it a bit near his forehead. And as for his coat color, it was a very light-ish purple, sort of like lavender, but not quite. It’s hard to pin point, but it reminded me of Trixie, just whiter and less black, which is a good thing in terms of design. And for a cutie mark, he had a yellow star with tiny little stairs surrounding it, almost as if it was fireworks going on. He also wore a dark brown cape for some weird reason.
But the cape had looked like it went through hell and back and then maybe went to hell again because it forgot something, so it went back to go get it, but by the time it gets back to hell, it turns out it already had what it thought it forgot. So it gets pissed, throws a fit, goes over to the hell next door and starts a shooting rampage on innocent citizens because why not? But he didn’t wear a hat though. He was also a unicorn as well. And there was one other defining feature about him as well.
He had a very handsome or a charming looking face. Not that gay kind of handsome to the point where you and all the boys get rock hard for it, but that handsome that is competition to get all the wet holes that makes you think a fish market is in there, if you know what I mean. In fact, while looking at all the other ponies around me, the mares of Stalia were eyeing this Harry like a doll, with their mouth open and drooling over their possible future pony that they will meet, get drugged, and be taken advantage of, but then won’t care because it was their first time or something.
Maybe not, or maybe so and it’ll be their last because who knows, maybe that certain pony is in the market for bodies for the science market. You never know. But anyways, as the mares of Stalia had their eyes and pupils filled with pink hearts as they continued to drool over the looks of some random stranger they had just seen for the first time, in which case they should have their eyes checked, might be cancer, I was right next to the other guys as we were watching Jack and Harry interact on stage.
As we were doing so, I turned my head towards the guys and they were looking at me as well as I asked them, “So what’s the whole commotion about? Is this guy gay and going to do a back flip out the window for us all or what?”
Forrest then said with a bit of a worried look, “That’s uncalled for.”
I then said back to him with an unamused look on my face, “Well Forrest, maybe you shouldn’t be such a pussy. So anyone else but Forrest can fill me in here?”
Arrell then looked towards me and he then said as he was pointing a hoof at Harry, “Well apparently Harry here can do anything that we can do, but better.”
Mac then said with a sort of annoyed look on his face, but it was a combination of determination as well as he said, “Pfffffffft, Well I bet I can do whatever he does better. I know all the fancy maths and the deadly ku ba yahs , I can do whatever he does better, times one.”
I then said to him with a bit of a confused look on my face, “That would be about the same then Mac.”
Mac then looked at us as we were taken a back a bit as he looked a little angered at us as he raised his hoof and shook it, “I KNOW WHAT ME TIMES ONE IS! AND IT’S FIFTY TWO! WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT DO YOU GUYS TAKE ME FOR!?”
And after we had backed up a bit with our backs and had big eyes, a bit taken aback by Mac’s sudden actions, we all let a few seconds of silence between us go by.
And after a few seconds had left us, Arrell answered Mac’s question with a question and said, “An idiot?”
And then Mac calmed down, rolled his eyes as he put a hoof up to his chin and started to scratch it, as we all calmed and relaxed our bodies as well.
And then Mac said calmly to us all as he looked back towards us and he sort of nudged forward a bit and said, “Of course! You thought you could fool me, BUT I AIN’T NO TIM TOM TOOL PICKING FOOL! I MAY HAVE BEEN FOOLED AND HAD MY PLANS FOILED BY APPLEJACK MANY OF TIME IN MY LIFE BEFORE WHILE TRYING TO COMMIT AN APPLE GENOCIDE ON HER FARM, BUT I AIN’T no DUMMY! IF THAT FANCY CITY PONY RIGHT THERE CAN HAVE ALL THE FAME AND GLORY TO HIMSELF, THEN HE HAS ANOTHER THING COMING, I SWEAR TO CELESTIA!”
Arrell then said calmly to Mac, “You have problems.”
He then quickly snapped back to Arrell and got close to his face while putting a hoof on his chest and poking him, “AND YOU LIKE FUCKING ANIMALS LIKE A PANSY!”
While that had happened, I sort of drowned out whatever Mac was saying and looked towards Neon, who was smiling as always and was looking towards me.
I then said as I gave a little sigh, “So Neon… what do you think of all this… shit?”
I had said that while holding up a hoof and moving the top part around a bit in a little circle, while maintaining an ok mood on my face.
Neon however just said to me in response, “Apples.”
I then said as I lowered my head down a bit in disappointment, “Great, I’m proud of ya.”
And then Neon sort of lowered his head to one side, with making a knocking sound on wood at the same time. And from there we just kind of ignored each other and decided to watch what was happening on stage, which was Jack vs Harry. The battle of the century, well, more or less the battle of the next five minutes, but hey, it was… something… and certainly better than a fight between a bat and an alien.
I mean have you ever seen a fight between a bat and alien? It’s really something; well at least you think it’s something. But when you actually go to see it’s really disappointing. I mean you get all hyped for a fight between a bat and an alien, thinking it’s going to be the best thing of the year and shit. But when the fight actually happens, you just sit there, ask yourself ‘I waited this long and got this hyped for this?’ and you just sit there, trying to like it while on the inside you know you just wasted your time and money and you’ll never get that back. And you just slowly start to tear yourself up on the inside as your sanity decays…
Well, Douchebag was just like Trixie, an arrogant fool.
He was also were beating my friends in their skills that they had.
JACK
First up was Jack, as stated, he was already on stage, and he was looking mighty pissed. As for harry, he was looking like he was having the time of his life as he had a big grin on his face as he looked eager to show off his skills to everyone in the crowd.
And then looked outward to everyone that was paying attention and said with big, wide eyes and with a charming voice, “Ha ha ha! This gentlecolt right here thinks he can take me on and beat me in a game of hoof to hoof!”
Jack then said to him while pointing towards him, “It ain’t a fucking game asshole! I’m going to literally go over there and kick your fucking ass!”
Harry then said while closing his eyes and covering his face in smugness, “Well well well, resorting to violence are we? That’s not very pony of you.”
Jack then said with a frustrated face, “Pony of me? I am literally just going to go over and rip you a new one!”
Harry then said too the audience, almost as if this was some kind of bear in the big blue house shit, except you know… without the pedophilia, and said, “And just like that, we’re playing a game! A game that I will best him at! And all he had to do was ask of course instead of being rude.”
Jack then yelled towards him, “Rude!? You fucking asked me to come on here, I said no, called me a tasteless hack, and now I’m up here, wanting to show you what happens when you cross me!”
However Harry continued to say to Jack with smugness, “Oh did the Hack say something?”
Jack then said as he raised both hooves up in the air with force and had his face turned to red anger, “That’s it! You’re dead!”
And then Jack started charging towards Harry, but Harry still remained calm and relaxed and had a smile on his face, as he was confident in what he was doing. So as Jack was charging him, Harry stood his ground, but down to the last second, Harry moved out of the way and used his brown rag for a cape as a bit of a distraction, as that made Jack miss his mark, and then prompted Harry to move out his left foreleg and trip Jack’s back leg.
In which case, he fell down, and sort of tumbled down off the stage while landing on his back. And wouldn’t you know it; he landed right in front of us too, as we all stared back at him.
And from what we saw, we saw a not very happy chappy and Jack said with a disgruntled look upon his face, “Not a word or I’ll fucking kill you.”
Forrest then said with a bit of enthusiasm in his voice and a small smile, “Well I thought it was a very nice effort you put in Jack.”
Jack then said, while remaining on his back, “I’m killing you after everypony leaves Forrest.”
And then Forrest’s small smile turned into a look of despair.
MAC
Next up was Mac, as he then said to everyone as he volunteered to get on stage, despite no one asking him to do so, “Alright, alright everypony. Step aside, the real talent is here.”
He had said that while closing his eyes, walking up the side stairs to get on to the stage, yet with no other expression on his face, while waving his right hoof around towards the audience. He had said it in a way of as if he was the chosen one and that we all knew it. But Harry, Harry was loving it. Just by simply looking at him, he knew that he was already better than Mac.
He even gave a bit of a smug look, that look that tells to everyone that you’re better than everyone and that you know better than everyone and that you know what is best for them. So you end up going through a series of events that takes you to your local government and then over throwing that government and calling it a revolution, but in the end you’re just an asshole by nature and use and abuse the power that you took and you look like an asshole as you start sending all of your supporters to the gulag because why not?
And when you think you’re on top of the world, you just wake up and it turns out it’s all a dream and really you’re all alone and have problems that cannot be fixed because your father didn’t beat you enough despite asking him to beat you senseless because you have some weird fetish that only gets you off when you’re beaten by a daddy.
But your father just ended up blowing his brains out instead when you were three because you were a disappointment and didn’t go out and get a job by that time. Then you sit and wonder while in the dark in your bed room if you should too blow your brains out cause your dreams ain’t coming true. It was that kind of a smug look that Harry gave. But Harry didn’t even have to say a single word. He simply backed up a bit while still having that smug smile of his and extended his left fore hoof out to Mac while closing his eyes in confidence and offered him the spotlight.
As for Mac, he looked at this with a small smile of confidence and in his mind, he was saying, ‘Ha! This applejack loving son of a bitch is toast! I’m going to be making him look lower than a midget pony’s nut shack!’
And so Mac took the stage, stood right in front of Harry as Harry awaited for Mac to make his first move and continued to have a smug smile. For Mac, his small smile of confidence disappeared and was replaced a look of serious determination, as his eyes concentrated on Harry’s position, trying to mentally prepare himself to proof that he is better than this so called Magnificent Harry. And me and the guys, we had our eyes glued on Mac, anticipating what was going to happen.
And for the crowd, they were stumbling nd mumbling as quiet as they could as they too were waiting for what was going to happen next. The crowd was ready to see something exciting to occur and see what Harry could do in response to whatever Mac was going to do. And Mac was trying to think of what he was going to do to prove that he could beat Harry at his own game, which was the game of ‘I’m better than you.’
In a way, just looking at Mac’s face, it was starting to look like he was a little nervous or at the very least starting to perhaps rethink this whole idea through, as if he was uncertain about his plan. He looked like he was going to start sweating in nervousness, but in the end that didn’t happen. What happened next was that Mac put up his right hoof up near his face and then said while looking straight in the eyes at Harry as Harry was remaining patient for Mac to give him a challenge so that he can best him at it.
And Mac, while holding his right hoof up steadily then said to him Harry, all with a serious voice and straight into his eyes with no signs of regret or breaking down under pressure, “How many hooves am I holding up?”
With that question being asked, Harry’s smug face was quickly removed and was then replaced with a concerned, confused look on his face as he opened up his eyes turning from pride to worry as he then just stared at Mac, not sure what to make of his questions.
So Harry, unsure if he had correctly or need to get more of his schizoid medication from his doctor, asked Mac, “Excuse me?”
Mac then said with a slightly heavy tone in his voice and an angered annoyed look formed on his face towards Harry, “You heard me you pony son of a bitch!? How many hooves am I holding up!?”
Mac’s anger then turned into a confident look, with a hint of a sinister smile, form across his face as he stared into the eyes of his opponent and said to him, “What’s wrong? Are you chicken Harry?”
The look in his eyes and at his stance looked like it was from a final battle from an anime, where the hero or villain is about to use their trap card, that isn’t gay cause let’s all be honest here, traps are gay. And the only way they cannot be gay is if they are not traps, but formal traps. Although sadly those traps will never come to be, but then traps cards like that aren’t that big of a deal anyways. What? Were you thinking of something else you sick fuck? Unless of your course you have a fetish, then that would explain why you would be thinking of something else.
Anyways, Mac looked like he was sure that he had Harry beaten and that he would come out victorious. But Harry just stood there, worried not about himself, but Mac’s own sanity since he was asking such a weird, yet stupid question, when he is supposed to show some sort of talent that he can also do. So a few seconds of silence passed as the crowd stood there, waiting on what was going to happen next.
And so after a while of silence, Harry finally spoke up with hesitation in his voice and said his answer almost as If he was questioning it, “You’re holding up one hoof?”
After Harry gave his answer the crowd went wild, no seriously they went wild and clapped for a bit with their hooves, except for me and the guys of course, but then went into utter silence after that. And that did it, Mac’s smile of confidence soon disappeared and Mac just went back into a blank stare. And the look that he gave was that one of vast disappointment. It was in that moment that he knew that he had lost to Harry, and there was nothing he could do about it. In his mind, he was broken, a failure, a loser.
He wondered where it all went wrong, what he could have done. Should have he cheated just so he could have gotten ahead, who knows. But truthfully it was just Mac being an idiot like the southern like pony that he was. I mean he wasn’t southern, but he practically was. He was like a confederate that lived in the north, a Southern Yankee.
Not sure if he would hate the zebras though, pretty sure he didn’t, but he was backwards just like the Russians, so you be the judge I guess. Anyways, as Mac had a face that of someone who was defeated by his opponent, Mac just stood there and looked at his hoof for a bit, and then back to harry, who still had his look of confusion on his face.
And as the seconds went into silence, Mac finally broke it and said, “Huh… how did you do that? Unless…”
Mac then gave a little bit of a gasp as well as a gaping mouth as he had wide eyes and a shocked face.
Mac then proceeded to squint towards Harry as he pointed his right hoof at him as he said to him, “Are you some kind of fancy secret government mind reader you government agent son of a bore?”
Mac then said very loudly and suddenly with an outburst movement as he lunged forwards him a bit as he went back to all fours, “ARE YOU WALKING FOR APPLEJACK! TELL ME! TELL ME NOW!”
And from there, we knew as his friends, we needed to get help Mac and get him off the stage before he could hurt anyone and himself, as well hurting Harry, as that was the right thing to do. Just kidding, none of us gave a fuck and was enjoying watching the show.
However, Forrest, the goody two shoes that he was decided that he felt the need to go up on stage and try to lead him off the stage. So Forrest quickly, as he usually was, used his wings and swiftly got onto the stage and got behind Mac, as Mac was looking like he was ready to attack Harry.
Harry wasn’t moving an inch though; he was just watching the whole thing unfold like how everyone was in the audience. But for Mac, he looked like he was about to go for blood like a dog ready to maul someone to death. As Mac was slowly inching forwards towards Harry and pointing at him, Forrest swiftly got behind him and put his two hooves around him, trying to pull him back. He didn’t say a word, his actions was more than enough.
But Mac tried to resist and tried to lunge forward as he continued to yell towards him, “WHAT DO YOU KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE APPLE FAMILY! I MUST KNOW RIGHT NOW!”
And as Forrest was trying to pull him off stage, Mac knew that he had to get off, or at the very least being pulled off, but not before he got his last words in.
As he was being pulled off the stage by Forrest, Mac yelled towards Harry, “I’LL FIND YOU! I’LL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE AND I’LL MAKE YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW! YOU HEAR ME!? I’LL BE YOUR FUCKING END YOU APPLEJACK LOVING, GOVERNMENT BOOT LICKER MOTHER FUCKA!”
And then Forrest was finally about to pull him off his stage as Mac had said his final words to Harry while using his wings. It wasn’t hard for Forrest though, but Mac was putting up a fight for Forrest to get him off. And as soon as Mac was off, Harry just stood there, not sure what to make out of it. He just stood there with a look of confusion. But then he just shook his head quickly and tried to forget that happened as his face returned to its usual smugness.
And as his smile returned, he looked back towards the audience and walked to the edge of the stage and looked everyone in the eyes and said to all of us, “So, you have seen my magnificent powers on two ponies, so who would like to come up and try to best me hmmmm?”
Harry had said it with as much self righteousness in his voice and on his face, it was disturbing.
ARRELL
And so for the next pony up to the stand was Arrell. He was sort of quick when it became his turn to go up on stage. And it’s not like we were all in on this and we were all taking turns to see who could be the biggest jack off in front of the town, but rather it just kind of happened. Maybe it was the Universe’s fault, you know? Or maybe it was voluntary and they just felt insecure about themselves or some shit like that. Who knows honestly?
But anyways as soon as Harry asked that question to the crowd, he didn’t get an answer. And to Harry, that was good enough for him since he didn’t have to do diddly dick and he had already proven himself to be the greatest out of all the other ponies in the town.
However, Harry somewhat deep down felt like he needed to do some more challenges and continue to show off to everyone in Stalia. So he looked around in the crowd, mostly whoever was near front stage. And of course were all near, but he had already challenged Jack and Mac, so he pointed his eye towards Arrell and soon had a grinning face filled with absolute glee, but in a sort of an asshole-ish way.
And from there, he moved closer towards Arrell’s position, which was a little more to the right of him, and pointed to him with his left hoof and said to Arrell, “You Gentlecolt, how about you come up here and try to see if you can’t best me in a challenge of your choice?”
Arrell however continued to sit on his ass and looked at him funny and said to him while shaking his head, “No thank you … I’m good.”
Of course Harry wasn’t going to let his new victim go, so he continued to insist with a charmful smile, as he lowered his head down a little bit and got a tiny bit closer to Arrell, “Why? Are you… afraid that you might lose to me?”
Arrell started to get a little emotional you could say. He started to feel a little annoyed by Harry’s statements. He even gave a little chuckle and a bit of despair started to form on his face, but he tried not to let that be shown.
Instead, Arrell just said to him, “Let’s not go there ok. We’re all here just to watch a show.”
However Harry knew he had him in his grasp and knew he just needed to push the right buttons on him.
So Harry then continued to give him a smug side glance as he turned his head and smiled with assurance and said to him, “So then, I guess that’s just another way of saying that you’re a loser.”
Arrell the said with a bit of a look of determination, as his face looked like he was angered just a bit and said to him as Harry was walking, “Now wait just a minute here, I never said such a thing.”
Harry however just said to him as he turned around and was walking around on the stage, “Oh but I can read between the lines. I can just tell by the sound of your voice that you’re chicken.”
With Harry’s last words to Arrell, that pulled a trigger in Arrell’s mind somehow.
Arrell looked like he was done and was pissed off, as he then said to Harry, “Excuse me?”
Harry then turned around with a little grin and looked towards him while pointing his left hoof towards him, “You heard me, a chicken!”
The crowd gave a little bit of a gasp, sort of being on edge, waiting to see what was going to happen next.
And Arrell just looked more pissed as he then said with a bit of annoyance in his voice, “A chicken? A chicken!? The only chicken is the kind that I breed; no one else calls me a chicken!”
And so as Arrell was all pissed off and shit, Harry had a huge, somewhat sinister like, grin form across his face, as he stepped aside and made room for Arrell to come up on stage. And as Arrell was making his way up on to the stage by taking one of the side stairs right next to the stage, Asshat was looking like an autistic kid as he just sat on his little bunny asshole and gave that fluoride stare.
That kind of stare that you give to someone when you’re arguing for something, but then they prove you wrong and you try to come up with a response, so you just stumble and mumble about that answer for a good long while until you just can’t come up with anything, so you just stand there and repeat the same shit that you just said because you’re a fucking dumbass. And you know you’re a fucking dumbass and that’s why you cry yourself to sleep every night not because you dad touched you (or didn’t if you have some sort of sick fetish), but because you can’t bare to live with yourself.
So you go into the bathroom late in the night, pull out the gun that you keep in your sock drawer, put it to your head while looking yourself in the mirror while still crying and keep telling yourself to pull the trigger. But then you pussy out and you just end up going to your therapist ad tell him what happened... but then it turns out you’re just talking to a Wendy’s cashier as he tells you it is a Wendy’s… And he also tells you to do a back flip out the window. That kind of fluoride stare that Asshat gave while Arrell was making his way. I tell ya, Asshat is a weird little bunny.
I don’t speculate anything sinister of him, he just looks autistic and probably needs to be put to sleep one of these days on the case of him looking at us funny all the time… that little furry fucker. Also as Arrell was going up to stage, guess who made an appearance? Wolf finally came back from the bathroom with a weird state in his eyes. Wolf had came from what seemed like from out of nowhere, but really he pushed through the crowd and came up sort of up from behind me.
And as he came up right next to me and not paying attention, he said to me as I was looking at Arrell, “Hey Knight, H-H-How’s it going.”
I then turned my head towards him and had an ok stare at him and said to him, “Oh, you finally made it.”
Wolf then said to me, “Yup.”
I then asked Wolf, “So, how did it go up there?”
Wolf then said to me, while looking nervous and turned his head around franticly and his legs twitching a bit, “It went alright. Started to see some shit. Hey uhh… c-can I ask when we started getting talking purple hippos to come into our house to fix the sink?”
I then asked Wolf with a bit of confusion, “What?”
Wolf then said to me, still being nervous and slightly raised his left wooden paw up from the ground, “Well the blue eyed bird looking fella was telling me you let those guys in because you’re trying to bomb Iran or something? What’s up with that?”
I then asked Wolf, “What are you talking about?”
Wolf then said to me before he went quiet, “I saw the black figure in the corner man, I FUCKING SAW IT… HE’S COMING FOR ME!”
Anyways, Arrell made his way up on to the stage and stared Harry right in the face. Arrell had a look of determination and was ready to show Harry that he was not a flightless bird that’s technically a disappointing dinosaur. And as for Harry, oh he was just loving it, everything was being handed to him on a silver platter and he just couldn’t get enough of it.
So Harry was about speak it may have seem until Arrell quickly stopped and gave a little smile on his face as he then pointed towards Harry and said to him, “You won’t be able to get me unlike the others Harry. In fact me and my little bunny buddy over here will show you that you’re not that great at everything as you say you are.”
He had said it with confidence and hope, almost as if he was going to be the hero of this here story. But he wasn’t as Harry just gave a little chuckle. Arrell saw this as confusing, wondering in his head what Harry had planned for him. And Harry just continued to have his laughter grow and grow, a little bit louder and louder after every second passed. And Arrell wasn’t sure what was going on since this seemed very awkward at the moment. And all Arrell could do was just stand there and give a look of confusion on his face.
And after a few second of Harry’s laughter filling the air, Arrell then asked Harry, “What’s so funny? I didn’t even give you a challenge yet?”
Harry then did give a little chuckle with a pure smile on his face, and as he was wiping the tears of joy from his eyes with his left hoof, he then looked onto Arrell with glee and told him, “Well it’s just funny is all. I-It’s just so funny that you would say that you and your pet bunny would beat me when you don’t have a pet bunny to begin with.”
As Harry was saying that, he was slowly turning and shaking his head to the side while squinting towards Arrell, with still the pure smile on his face. For Arrell though, he remained confused as he wasn’t sure what he was talking about. Last time he checked, Asshat was on his back, his little buddy bunny by his side, ready to take on Harry right next to him.
And all Arrell said to Harry was, “What are you talking about? Asshat is right here on my…”
Arrell was turning his head to check on Asshat and to point to him to prove to Harry that he had a pet bunny. But the moment that he turned his head around, Arrell’s confusion turned into a shock in a split second. His eyes became wide and his mouth agape, as he was surprised to see no bunny sitting on his back, since he knew he was there when he went up on stage to before. Quickly he had thought maybe he had fallen off or maybe he had ran off.
But all he could muster in that second was saying out loud, “Where did Asshat go!?”
And then Harry spoke up which caught everyone’s attention and even Arrell’s even though he was in a state of shock. And all Harry did was continue to laugh like he knew something that Arrell didn’t.
And Harry was continuing to laugh, as soon as all eyes were on him, Harry said to Arrell while trying calming down the chuckling, “Where’s your pet bunny? It seems to me that you’re not even good at keeping your so called animal friend with you. Sounds like a challenge to me.”
And so Harry raised his cape to one side, raise it towards the audience’s viewpoint, and held it there for a few seconds with a big grin across his face. And after holding it for a few second and Arrell waiting to see what Harry was trying to get at, Harry then finally swiftly pulled down his cape towards his chest with a big white smile on his face, and as soon as the cape came down, he revealed that Asshat was on his back, unharmed, calm and contempt.
And all Arrell could do was hold out his right hoof and yell out towards Asshat in shock, “ASSHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Harry however just stood there while slightly holding up his right hoof and chuckling as he then proceeded to say to Arrell, “It seem that your precious pet bunny prefers me as his friend compared to you. Isn’t that right Asshat? Or should I call Legna, since you’re my pet now.”
He had said with such smugness that it could fill all of San Francisco as he had his eyes closed with a smirk on his face as he looked towards Asshat. Arrell just stood there, not sure what to do or think.
And all Harry said afterwards was, “It seems that I have won again.”
And Harry then started to walk off, but not before Asshat just fell off Harry’s back without Harry even noticing to begin with as he just walked away. And Asshat just feel flat on to the stage’s wooden floor, pretty much motionless, not giving a fuck since he was just a bunny, Arrell rushed over in urgency and got down on to his pony knees and looked a little sad, but mixed with surprised as he looked towards Asshat and tried to scoop him up without saying a word.
Although you could hear him weep a tiny bit underneath his breath, almost as if Asshat betrayed him or something.
FORREST
And so next up was Forrest. As Harry was walking to the left of the stage as Arrell was picking up his remains of his sanity with Asshat, Harry then yelled out, “So, who’s next!?”
He had said it with pure confidence. And the one to speak up was Forrest. He had sort of jumped into the air a little bit, but remained stationary in mid air while flapping his wings and holding his right hoof high up as he said with a smile, “I think I can beat you.”
He said calmly, almost like it was a friendly competition.
Harry of course was happy to see another victim of his show and he said to him and in the friendliest way possible while giving the gesture with his hoof, “Then come up here and show us what you’ve got!”
And then Forrest gently used his wings to get up on stage and silently landing on all four, with still a smile of hope. Harry backed up to give him some room while keeping his eyes on him.
And as Forrest got into his place on stage, Harry then asked him, “So, what challenge do you have for me that you think you can best me at?”
Forrest then said with a smile of hope, “Well I’m not good at everything. But I can make fire if I go really fast. It’s my specialty after all since it’s in the name, Forrest Fire.”
Harry then said with a smile, “Well, that’s an interesting fact to know about you. Sounds challenging to me, but a fair one at that. Let’s say we both have to spin in circles. The one who can create fire first wins!”
Jack then heckled out from the audience, “THAT SOUNDS RETARDED!”
However Harry said with assurance, “But it is a fair challenge though. If our friend Forrest here says he can make fire while moving very fast, surely he can make fire no matter what appendage he moves in no matter what direction, isn’t that correct Forrest?”
He had said that to Forrest while keeping a big smile and branching his right hoof out towards him.
And Forrest then said to him while putting his left hoof to his chin and rolling his eyes back, while keeping a smile, “Well I don’t like to brag, but I can if I try really hard.”
Harry then said with glee, “Then it’s agreed upon. And who knows, you might best me, you have your wings while I’m simply grounded.”
Forrest then said while closing his eyes and with a smile and said with a friendly tone, “Well, may the best pony win then.”
And then the competition started as Harry started to spin around as Forrest lifted himself up from the ground with his wings. And Forrest was about to spin in a small circle for all to see by pulling his body a bit backwards, anticipating and preparing himself to show off his talents.
However right before he could move a single muscle, Harry then quickly said with a smug smile, “Done!”
Forrest then had wide eyes and then asked himself silently, “What?”
And then soon before you knew it, all eyes were on Harry as he was laying on his sides, holding his right hoof to hold his head up and was laid out as if he was about to bang a chick in front of a fire place. All the while, his whole body was on fire, and yet didn’t seem to be affected by it. As for everyone else, we were all wondering how Harry was able to do that in such a quick amount of time.
However, before anyone could even ask such a question, Harry just got up, the fire died out, and he said in a smug tone towards Forrest, “It seems that I have bested thee. Well, thanks for playing along. Next!”
And then Forrest just gently landed himself back into the audience with his wings in disappointment to himself, as Jack was giving him the stink eye look because you know why by now.
NEON
And so the next one up on to the stage was Neon.
And so as Harry was looking towards the audience to see who was next and awaiting for a response, Neon walked right on up without anyone noticing and sneaking up behind Harry and said to him, “I’m next!”
He had said it with his smile as usual. As for Harry, he was taken a back a bit with wide eyes as he wasn’t expecting someone to come up their like.
However he quickly calmed down within seconds as he then got his head into the game and returned his smug smile as usual and then asked him, “Well then uhhh…”
Neon then cut him off and then yelled out without moving a single muscle in his body other than his mouth, “NEON!”
Harry then said to him, with a worry in his eyes, “Neon, yes, Neon… Well Neon, what challenge do you have for me today?”
Neon then said to Harry, “I can make a dog fucking a chicken eating a log of shit while a tiny hippo is signing opera on a donkey’s dick appear from my anus!”
Harry was once again taken aback by this statement and remained speechless as all he had to say was, “Uhhhhhh….”
And in response, Neon did shitted out a dog fucking a chicken eating a log of shit while a tiny hippo is signing opera on a donkey’s dick appear from his anus. And Neon didn’t say a single word. Although he did give a little bit of a murderous look in his eyes. I don’t know if anyone else noticed it, but I could just look into Neon’s eyes, silently saying that if you don’t do what I just did, I’m going to come into your house tonight and slit your fucking throat and making every cell in your living body burn to the stake while you’re being raped and murdered all at the same time as a black chick is signing a song of being raped and murdered as she is raping and murdering herself while singing the said song of being raped and murdered.
Yeah, that was what was in his eyes, and whether or not Harry saw that in his eyes was beyond me. Although you could tell he at least saw something within Neon’s eyes.
Anyways all Harry did in response was just stand there and said, “Uhhhhh….”
And then after droning on for a few seconds, he then somewhat nervously stepped aside from where his anus was at, with the wide eyes and all, and showed that he had replicated what Neon had done.
And as everyone saw that from the crowd, and the audience cheered on as usual for Harry and the two just stared awkwardly at each other. Harry was unsure what had just happened, but Neon remained with his smile while standing there, motionless.
But then Neon just started to float up and out towards the crowd as if he was flying, but not moving a single muscle.
And as he was levitating away from defeat, he looked towards me and he said to me with kindness, “Good luck Knight. Your turn!”
I had seen him floating away and thinking to myself that it was Neon being Neon as usual, and not paying much mind to it. I mean I was sort of taken aback by it in my mind, but by that point I was starting to get used to Neon’s Weirdness. And all I did was give him a weird look with one of my eyebrows being raised as I looked up towards Neon floating away.
However after Neon telling me good luck, I then said to myself quietly, “Good luck? Hell no, I’m out of here. I mean I know the Universe is probably going to try to make me stay and shit, but fuck no, stick a fork in me, I’m out of here. Maybe if I just sneak quietly out of here, the Universe won’t notice that I left.”
I had then said that with squinted eyes and started to shift my eyes from side to side, wondering if the Universe was nearby, watching my every move. And so I turned around, not caring what Wolf or anyone of my other so called ‘friends’ were doing, and started to head back home since this seemed kind of retarded to me.
KNIGHT
Well, I thought I was able to get away with it, but I guess the Universe was keeping an eye on me like a hawk cause as I turned around and seemed like I was able to just walk away from it all, but he then saw me, and challenged me basically.
Harry told me while pointing towards me with a bit of an annoyed and angered look on his face, “So, my show is boring is it!? Do I bore you to the point that you’re leaving, am I that bad? Did I not show enough of my magnificence to you!?”
As he started to talk me, I stopped dead in my tracks and all eyes started to turn to me as everyone else was staring at me, waiting to see what I would do.
And as soon as Harry stopped talking to me and the crowd made a pathway between me and Harry and giving us some room, I lowered my head in annoyance and said to myself under my breath, “Son of a bitch, I don’t want to deal with this shit…”
I then raised my head and turned my head in cynicism and gave him that, ‘I don’t care anymore, just leave me the fuck alone’ kind of look on my face and looked towards him into his eyes, showing that I was not in the mood.
I said to him, “No you fucking douchebag, ‘you were so magnificent’ during your show. What made me want to leave was you being a giant douchebag!”
Harry took offense to that and was starting to get ticked off by my words as he gritted his teeth and looked at me with anger while looking down on me from the stage, “What did you say to me!?”
The crowd gave a loud gasp while my ‘friends’ gave me a smile and pretty much with their eyes saying that they approved what I was doing. Except for Mac, he had a pissed off look, still sour over Harry beating him at his own game, literally.
And as for me, I then said to him, “You heard me, you’re a fucking douchebag. In fact your title is misleading. You should try to rebrand yourself to The Magnificent Douchebag! That’ll make all the kids at their birthday parties that you show up to for minimum wage go wild.”
However, Harry just was angered more and more as he slammed his left fore hoof hard on to the stage wooden floor and yelled towards me, “HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME WITH YOUR WORDS! YOU SHALL NOT WALK AWAY FREELY! IF YOU WISH TO WALK AWAY, YOU MUST EARN IT BY CHALLENGNG ME!”
He said it with a stern look and tone on his face and in his voice. It was almost as if there was going to be thunder booming behind him, even though there wasn’t. And as for the crowd around us, they were waiting in anticipating as to what my choice was going to be.
But I just looked up towards Harry and said to him with my annoyed look calmly towards him, “Nope. Fuck off. I can leave if I want to.”
Harry then said to me, “YOU CANNOT LEAVE HERE WITH YOUR DIGNITY INTACT! YOU INSULTED ME WITH YOUR WORDS, NOW YOU MUST SHOW IT WITH ACTION!”
I then said to him right before I turned around, “You see this… I’m walking away right now. And no enforcement of the law can stop me. Fuck off. Douchebag.”
And then I started to walk away as the crowd made a path for me to walk away on.
And as I was walking away, Harry stomped his left hoof on the wooden stage once more with anger in his voice, “HOW DARE YOU WALK AWAY LIKE THAT FROM ME! I AM BETTER THAN THEE! COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME AT ONCE!”
I then sort of yelled back towards him as I was walking away “What’s that!? You’re changing your name from Harry to Douchebag!? That’s great, I’m proud of ya, now fuck off!”
And then the unthinkable happened as I stopped in my tracks as Wolf spoke up and yelled out loud all of a sudden, “HE CAN BEAT YOU! HE CAN BEAT YOU IN ANY CHALLENGE THAT YOU GIVE HIM AND HE WILL SHOW YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ANY OF US, AND THAT KNIGHT IS THE BEST! YOU HEAR ME, KNIGHT CAN BEAT YOU AT ANYTHING AND IS BETTER THAN YOU!”
I turned my head with a confused, yet annoyed look on my face, as Wolf was out in the middle of empty space and talking to nothing, but seemed like he was talking to Harry… even though he wasn’t. He was pointing his wooden left paw to what was basically thin air. He was also swaying a little from side to side as I turned my heads towards him.
However, all I said to Wolf, “Who the fuck are you talking to!?”
Wolf then said to the thin air and not towards me, “THAT’S RIGHT! YOU AND YOUR DARK SPIDER MONSTER BUDDIES CAN’T TAKE THIS TOWN ALIVE! KNIGHT WILL BEAT YOU IN THIS GAME OF GO FISH AND WILL WIN THE GOLDEN CROWN AND WILL BE CROWNED KING! And then we’ll be rich and I’ll be able to jack off whenever I want… AND THAT GUY AT THE CAFÉ CAN’T SAY OTHERWISE! YOU HEAR ME, HE CAN’T SAY OTHERWISE!”
He then collapsed, face first and said in his muffled voice while to speak with a mouth full of dirt in his mouth, “GO GET HIM KNIGHT!!”
I just gave a slight sigh and shook my head, but as I was doing so, Harry then spoke to me as I turned my head towards his attention, “Well well well, it sounds like your buddy right there says you have a lot to show us. Care to accept my challenge?”
He had said it with a grin on his face with a hint of smugness in his voice, waiting to see if I would take the bait. However I kept my cool and kept the cynicism.
I said, “Fuck off”, and then out of nowhere it had seemed, a mare comes on to the wooden stage, that wasn’t even from this town I mind you, at least I don’t think.
Maybe it came from Neon, who knows. In fact, she had an 80’s look that makes me think Neon also shitted her out of his anus, but Neon was right there in the audience, so who knows. Anyways, as Harry kept his smug smile, this 80’s looking mare with a brightly colored Neon head band and a mare gym outfit from the 80’s while looking kind of hot in some respects, came out on to the stage from what seemed out of nowhere.
The mare went up to Douchebag, cause that is his new name from now on, and you’ll see why, and said to me while cuddling up next to Douchebag with an angered look towards me without Douchebag even acknowledging what was happening, “You’re not cool anymore man! You used to be cool, but now you lost the skill of magic. Harry here is way better and cooler than you!”
I then said to the random 80’s mare, “Who the fuck are you!?”
I even looked towards my ‘friends’ and them too didn’t know what was going on as they just gave me a shrug, except for Neon, so perhaps my theories are correct Neon was behind this somehow. Why? Don’t ask me, ask the green demon why, if you ever see him. And if you do ever see him, then may god rest your soul. You’re going to need it. However despite the random mare showing up right next to him and not even looking towards her, Douchebag also said how I wasn’t great and magnificent like him.
He said to me, “Well then, I suppose that means you forfeit and your wooden buddy over there was simply overselling you and your greatness. Such a shame too, with you being a unicorn, surely you could have been my equal, perhaps rivals of sorts, maybe even besting me. I would even give you the title and we would all, including myself, be calling you, The Magnificent Knight! But such a shame to see such talent go to waste like that, towards a group of low hanging fruit and a wooden plank.”
He was saying that all the while looking at the bottom of his right hoof, with as much smug as possible. He was filled to the brim with his ego. And all I could do in response was roll my eyes at him in annoyance since I knew where this was going and the Universe was pissing me off once more. Then another mare and a stallion came up beside me from out of nowhere as well. They too looked like from the 80’s or from some 80’s movie.
One was a mare that looked somewhat similar to the mare that was up on stage, but ugly and flat chested, in fact I think her chest was caved in. And the other one was a stallion that had a dark coat color and with a bright green neon colored jacket with also a sweatband. He was ok looking, not a looker for the ladies, but he looked like he could bang a few chicks if he tried hard enough. He also had a friendly charm to him as well. Also none of these random ponies had cutie marks on which only suggests Neon was behind all of this. I cannot prove it, but I suspect it.
Anyways, I just had a look of annoyance, but also of confusion as well as I looked both to my sides as I said quietly to myself, “The fuck?”
Anyways, these two random ponies stood beside me and the ugly mare told Douchebag, “Leave Knight alone! He didn’t do anything to you!”
The stallion then said to Douchebag, “Yeah, he’s a nice guy and doesn’t deserve to be bullied by a jerk like you!”
I then said, “Who are you ponies!? Where the fuck did you come from!?”
I then looked towards Neon who was still smiling away and I had a little bit of a pissed off look on my face, but he wasn’t looking back towards me.
Instead I just said under my breath, “I swear Neon, if I find out that you did this, I’m gonna…”
And as I was busy looking towards Neon and being pissed off about the randomness, everybody then just left. Yup, all the random ponies that came out of nowhere.
Was it all in my head? Maybe. But I feel like we could all see them and that we all knew it was Neon and we were just going to pretend that it never happened. Well, Douchebag then spoke up and said to me, “So, are you going to be chicken and leave, or stay and prove to me that you are better than me?”
He had said with a smug smile like all the rest. However I just said to him, “Look I don’t give a …”
I was then cut off by Forrest as he then came up to the both of us calmly and kindly and said to the both of us, “Well how about a competition of power then?”
We both looked towards him, a little in confusion as I said to him, “That’s what he is suggesting though. And I’m telling him to fuck off and leave me alone Forrest.”
Forrest then said with a little worry on his face, but a smile nonetheless, “Well I know that, but I’m referring to using your magic and seeing who can create the best and biggest spell. And to play it fair, you can each have three hours to prepare for it and the winner can receive a prize.”
He said with a warm and kind smile, as if he was trying to fix a problem between a broken friendship. And as he finished talking, me and Douchebag looked back to each other as he remained high on the stage and I looked up towards him in annoyance and a little bit in anger.
Douchebag then asked me with a little smirk, “So what do you say, you want to show your magic off to me in three hours? The winner can receive my title respectively and be known as the best in all of Equestria. And the loser must leave Stalia forever!”
I then said to him like I was doing before, “I’m not leaving town, fuck off.”
Douchebag then said to me, with a bit of an annoyance, “Fine then, if I win, you must forever be known as Knight the Weakling and in shame, as well as to your next of kin for generations to come. But if you win, then I will retract my title of The Magnificent Harry to Douchebag as you previously claimed. What do you say, deal?”
That last part he had said it with a smirk, waiting to see if I would take the bait. For me, I just said to him, “Sounds retarded, but fuck it, the Universe won’t let me run away so I guess.”
And then we both shook hooves on it.
3 HOURS LEFT
BACK AT THE LIBARAY
As soon as we made the deal, Wolf and I headed back to the house, our home, our lovely… tree home library thing… that was only 1 / 8 library. But hey, I got paid to live there and be the “librarian” despite nothing ever happening with it, so what do I have to complain about? Anyways, I headed back, and when I got to the front door, I sort of kicked it open with my right hand, fore hoof,… whatever… And once I opened that door I had a bit of a sour look on my face, mostly due the fact that I was sort of forced into this by the Universe, or at least I’d suspect as much. Sure, maybe it was by coincidence, but are you going to try to either prove or disprove me wrong? I don’t think so.
But to be quite honest, I had a bit of competition spirit in me a little bit, so I had felt a bit determined to get good to beat Douchebag, but it was mostly me being forced to do it against my own will. So I had a sort of a pissed off and a I don’t care look on my face. And as I entered my home, Wolf soon followed, with him pretty much calming down from the drugs that he took earlier. Aside from some weird, uncomfortable feelings on the inside he looked fine and for the most part returned to normal.
And as we walked in, he was the one who closed the door behind us and as he was doing so as I was standing in the middle of the living room, trying to come up with a plan, Wolf asked me while sort of doing a weird side glance towards me, “So how are you going to beat Harry?”
I then said to him, not making eye contact and just staring off into space while trying to think, “Douchebag.”
Wolf then said to me, “Yeah, whatever, so what are you going to do?”
He then started walking towards me and into the living room area so he can hop up and take a seat on the couch.
As he was doing so, he then continued to ask me, “Are you planning on doing some training or fighting some ponies at the bar or something?”
I then turned around towards him and put my right hoof to my chin and then rolled my eyes back a little, while giving a little worried look, “Well, sadly I don’t know what to do. I’ve never thought this through?”
Wolf then asked me, while being mellowed out and sitting on the couch, “Aren’t you supposed to have powerful magic or something though? Just whip up a spell that’ll step on his dick and win over all the bitches and just call it a day.”
I then said to Wolf with a bit of a curious face, “Step on his dick? I know what you mean by that, it’s just weird coming from you. But that’s not the point. Clearly this is more complicated then it is out to be and the Universe is going to make me go through this one way or another.”
Wolf then asked me, “So this happened in the show back on Earth?”
I then told Wolf, “Well no… although not really but uhhh… remember when I was telling you all about the show and what happened in the episodes back in the cave back before I accidently gave you a voice with my magic?”
Wolf then said to me, “I was living in a cave and could barely understand the words coming out of a pony’s mouth at the time, what do you think?”
I then said to Wolf, with a little annoyed look afterwards, “Fine then, although you don’t have to talk back to me like that you wooden piece of shit.”
I had said that last part under my breath, although even then, I don’t think Wolf would have cared.
Anyways, I then asked Wolf, “Well how about the times back at Celestia’s school on some of those summer nights when I told you about it again?”
Wolf then told me, “I was drunk on those nights, I don’t remember. And I probably will get drunk tonight and won’t remember any of this as well afterwards.”
I then gave a little sigh while closing my eyes real quick, but then quickly looking back at Wolf and then told him, “Well to give a quick recap. It was the episode where Twilight learned the lesson about not boasting about one’s skills or some shit. And somewhere in the middle Twilight becomes a pussy and doesn’t challenge Trixie and then later proves she isn’t it when Trixie becomes too much of a broad and fucks it all up in the end.”
Wolf then said to me, “Sounds like every episode.”
I then said to Wolf, “Eh… kind of. Although it goes deeper than that. My point is one way or another; I need to think outside the box on this one and play by the rules the Universe set for me, well, unofficially anyways. I want to get through this part and get it done quick. And while this is different from the episode since this didn’t happen in the original show, I’m sure I’m going to have to do something and get training that may or may not involve a disembodied voice that may or may not be of my own singing a song to me training with me doing various things that is supposed to get me trained for the fight.”
Wolf then stared at me with his green eyes and a few seconds of silence passed us.
And after a few seconds of silence had passed, he then said to me, “Soooo… you’re saying it’s going to get fruity in here and kind of gay?”
I then said to him straightforward, “Yup and there’s no going around it. You got that old Sony Walkman with that generic sounding tape of generic 80’s instrumental music that I randomly found outside of the universes?”
Wolf then said as his wooden paws dug under the couch cousins, “Yup.”
I then said while having my face turn into pure determination, “Let’s get to it then.”
And then for the time that I had to prepare myself for the upcoming battle between me and Douchebag, I went through several stages of physical training and exercises out in the middle of the living room, while having my black cowboy hat being off and wearing a neon colored sweatband from the 80’s that is probably drenched in sweat and left by some brit bong looking mother fucker because he decided to stay at your house one time because he’s a freeloader piece of human trash; despite helping him get beer from the back of a very large freezer in a convenience store, but then end up leaving a few days later despite him taking your bed and you having to take the couch because you’re a nice guy.
But despite being a nice guy, deep down you hate that piece of shit, but he’s a brit bong so you have to be polite for at least a few weeks before you go ape shit on him. But then he leaves without paying you back and just leaves his sweaty Nike sweatband on the bed like a fucking asshole… I think the guy name was Daniel or something… or was it Justin? I forget, but that’s the kind of sweat band that I had on my head, all the while Wolf being by me and keeping track of what I was doing and trying to push me to my limits. Of course I also had my satchel off and was building up a sweat.
Of course I should add right before I started my training, Wolf had said to me that I knew what to do. He was right. I knew what I needed to do in this situation. And that’s by doing an 80’s movie training montage. Well, at least as far as it could go, because the more of it that becomes like an 80’s movie training montage, the gayer it is. But it felt like that though.
And during the training, I went through several exercises. One of the exercises was punching a punching bag for a while that we got from somewhere in the trunk chest thing that came with the place and using my front hooves to try and beat it the best I could. It was also colored a deep red so I could pretend that it was meat. You got to get that Indian nice and tender after all before you chuck them right into the oven.
Another exercise that I did was get some cheap looking jump rope that I maybe or maybe did not steal from a couple of kids, I cannot confirm or deny that, and used it to do some jump rope. Of course it would be hard to use with only two pony hooves, but hey, I’m a fucking unicorn, I just used a simple magic spell that could lift that shit and do the work for me. All I had to do was jump the shit. Afterwards I did some good ol’ fashioned pushups, and oddly enough, a pony’s bone structure in this universe could handle that since pushups are weird when you think about it for a pony.
But as I was doing pushups, I was drenched with sweat by that point, had a serious look on my face, and with Wolf being on my back, telling me to keep going and not to give up. Another set of exercises that I had done was also some good ol’ fashion sit ups. Also weird for a pony to do here, but it strangely works here in this universe, all with Wolf being in front of my back hoofs, trying to coach me.
And then to top it off, I did some jogging in place, because you know, no treadmill. Bitch, those treadmills here coast a fortune, well not really, but more or less just too much for me to do cause I’m a cheap son of a bitch some of the time. Anyways, those were some of the exercises that I had done while doing my training.
I had also done other training exercises that were like from Rocky 4. And of course I’m referring to Rocky and not that vodka drinking mother fucka. Although I did it all in my home so use your imagination there. But the other details I would like to mention is that while all of that was happening, I had the Walkman nearby playing some 80’s motivation music.
We’re talking where the music would play in the background while doing specific things. I basically had She’s a Maniac, The Power of Love, Back in Time, No Easy Way Out, Best of the Best, mighty wings, burning heart, push it to the limit, the workout theme from Rocky 4, You’re the Best Around, Hearts on Fire, and We Fight For Love.
Nah, just kidding, it was a weird random song that somewhere deep within my subconscious, I was signing it in the most weirdest way possible while the instrumental was just a generic 80’s training tune… I’m scared of my mind sometimes and afraid to go down that rabbit hole. It’s like it has a mind of its own.
But anyways, Wolf couldn’t hear it, only I could somewhere deep in my mind, the song went sort of like this:
You got to do it,
You got to push it,
You got to fight it,
You got to, just do it.
Push yourself to the limit,
Pull yourself to the end,
Do the things that you have to do
Fight it out!
Heart Fire of Love!
Don’t give up no matter what!
Heart Fire of Love!
Never let the flame go out!
Heart Fire of Love!
You got to just do it!
You got to kick it,
You got to punch it,
You got to beat it,
You got to break it,
You got to, just do it.
Heart Fire of Love!
You got to push it to the end.
Heart Fire of Love!
You need to work it out.
Heart Fire of Love!
Fight till the bitter end!
YOU GOT TO, JUST DO IT!!!
Heart Fire of Love!
Don’t give up no matter what!
Heart Fire of Love!
Never let the flame go out!
Heart Fire of Love!
Heart Fire of Love!
Heart Fire of Love!
Heart Fire of Love!
Beat that kid up, you can do it…
Yeah my mind is uhhh… my mind goes into dark places and I don’t know why some of the time. You could say I have mental problems, but I don’t, it just has a mind of its own and I question my own sanity from time to time, despite everything that has happened.
Who knows, maybe you are all part of my imagination and this is not even a journal that I’m writing right now and it’s just all part of some sick fuck’s fan fiction to something… maybe… who knows.
1 HOUR LEFT
Anyways, after that series of physical movements and pushing myself and just sweating like a hog in the hot summer sun, I had stopped, was breathing heavily a bit, and my heart going a mile a minute as I could feel it beat against my chest. I was calming down, standing out in the living room area with Wolf still sitting there, but this time with his sunglasses and drinking something out of a plastic cup with a straw, assumingly he got up and got himself a drink from the fridge or some shit while I was in the middle of training. He was also holding the cup with his right paw and occasionally drinking from it from time to time.
And as he was sitting there, I had a little smile on my face and asked him, “So Wolf, how’d I do? You think I’m good for whatever the Universe and that Douchebag throws at me in an hour from now?”
Wolf then said, “Well the challenge is supposed to be a magic a competition, but I’d say you lost half a pound and have good cholesterol levels.”
I then had wide eyes for a few seconds, but then went back into a pissed off and annoyed look on my face as I then said to him, “Fuck, I just wasted two hours dicking around didn’t I?”
Wolf then said to me, “Yup, looks like you’re up shit creek without a paddle their buddy”
I then said to him, “Fuck you. Fuck me, what am I going to do now, there is less than an hour left.”
Wolf then asked me, “Well can’t you just come up with a spell or something? It’s easy for you right?”
I then said to Wolf while having a look on my face that looked like I was trying to explain something complicated and rolling my eyes back, “Well, kind of. It is easy; although it does eventually all take a toll on my mind in the end after enough times of doing it. Also I most of the time don’t really care and too lazy to keep it all together, you know? I mean sure, I have the potential to cure cancer and solve world hunger, but do I feel like doing it? Nope. And besides, I would need to do spells on the fly, like a temporary spell or some shit. Like do something like that Green Lantern fella does in the comics, but in spell form.”
Wolf then told me, “How about one of those Buddhists mumbo jumbo that you’ve told me about once?”
I then said to Wolf, with a little pissed off look, “Oh, that you remember, but not the show? Fucker… but you do have a point though. Perhaps some meditation… hmmmm, let me try something real quick.”
I then sat down on my pony ass and had both my back legs be in front of me and also have both ends touch each other while I pointed both of my arms, fore hooves… whatever… and closed my eyes and remained silent and tried to look deep within my mind… just like what an Asian would do.
SOMEWHERE WITHIN KNIGHT’S MIND…
After getting myself into a meditation state, I was then surrounded by complete darkness. I was standing, in my pony form and not in human form, which was kind of weird, but it was probably because I saw myself in my pony form, so I just consciously was left in my pony form. Anyways, I was standing on all fours, looking all around me, and other than my own self, I could only see nothing but darkness.
And as I was turning my head left and right, I then said to myself, “Huh… I expected more from this.”
And then a disembodied, wise, male voice rang out to me and said, “Then you aren’t very bright are you?”
My eyes shot wide open and then I turned my head around once more trying to see who was talking to me. I asked out loud, “Who said that?”
The disembodied voice then said to me, “Think Knight, who could I be?”
My eyes calmed down a bit and I then said, “The shit that I see nightly in the darkness of my bedroom whenever I try to see in the dark?”
The disembodied voice then said to me, “Clearly you do not see straight. Take a second to think about it again. Clear your mind and open your eyes and only then can you see clearly.”
I then said to myself softly, “Clear my mind and open my eyes? What the fuck does that even mean?”
I then looked down at that dark ground and tried to think.
I then continued to say softly to myself, “Alright then, I got to try since I’m already in here. Come on Knight, you can clear your mind, hell, I’m already in my mind and its empty. Clear my mind and open my eyes; clear my mind and open my eyes.”
I closed my eyes real tight and moved around a little bit while doing so, and after concentrating real hard and trying to vaguely clear my mind and open my eyes, I started to feel something in my heart, or perhaps it wasn’t my heart, but something near it, it wasn’t my arteries. No, I felt… something, and after feeling it for a few seconds, I got the idea in my head that I did clear my head.
And then the disembodied voice then said to me while holding my eyes down tight, “You’ve got it. Now… open your eyes and you can finally see.”
And so I followed the instructions of the disembodied voice and I opened up my eyes. What I saw was still the darkness, the empty space that I was surrounded by, but the difference this time was that pretty much right in front up in my face was a person, a man no less of course. He looked a little bit like the Dude from The Big Lebowski, with the long rugged beard and long, a little curled up, hippy like hair.
He was also dressed up in rags and other pieces of cloths that seemed to have been randomly thrown together as if he was in some sort of rush to get somewhere on time and he just woke up late. As for the person, he was of course taller than me since he was a human, or at the very least human looking, but he didn’t tower too much over me, and possibly for good reason considering it was all in my mind. But I looked up towards him as he looked down towards me with a warm, welcoming smile that anyone would like to see. However I didn’t smile back and just looked a little confused, but curious.
I asked the dude, “Who are you? And where am I supposed to be right now?”
The dude then said to me, “Why, this is your mind, you’re just not used to seeing it like this, nor how to control it when you’re in it.”
He started to walk around as I was sort of following him around with my eyes, still looking curious, yet starting to get a tad bit annoyed since he didn’t answer my first question.
I then asked him, “Well I figured that much kind of. But is it always this empty?”
The dude then said to me, “Well no, it can be filled with many things, just like the outside of the universe, assuming you know how to do it that is…”
I then said in a mellowed out tone as he was walking around me while making appropriate hand gestures, “So you know about that place too huh?”
The dude then said to me, “Well of course I do. I know what you know, plus more than what you know about yourself.”
I then started to get annoyed so I then asked him, “Ok, yeah, but who are you though?”
The dude then said to me with still a warm smile on his face with a slight chuckle, “Where are my manors, I am sort of your own, personal spiritual guide that can help you in certain situations if you are in need of any kind of assistance. I was sort of born with you in a way, but kind of not, it get’s hard to explain as your consciousness wouldn’t be able to fully understand it at all. Just think of me as a helping little friend that is always with you near your heart. Although, you could always call me John.”
I then asked him with no emotion on my face, “John?”
John then said to me, “Yes, like John Doe since I was born with no name to begin with really. It’s only fitting, unless you perhaps would like to give me a name?”
I then rolled my eyes and put my right hoof to my chin and thought about it for a while, all the while going “hmmmmm...”, but I just ended up saying to John while looking back at him, “Nah, just call yourself Johnny, makes it sound cooler. Look, can you just help me out Johnny? I’ve got a challenge to go to and I have less than an hour to be ready and I need to make sure the magic that I have is in tip top shape, you hear me? So can you help me out or do I have to kick you out and find someone else?”
I had said like I was serious, although truthfully it was a little bit in good fun, and I think Johnny could tell, as he gave a little chuckle as he said back to me, “Johnny it is then Knight. And no need to rush. In your mind, an hour out there is like several hours in here. And as for your little problem, you just simply need to do what you did with me, clear your mind and open your eyes.”
Johnny got close to me when he said that and as he was; I just looked straight up to him and said, “Yeah, that’s not going to cut it. Look, I know I can make the spells and what not, but I kind of need to make things happen while on the fly, you know, even if it’s for a little bit and whatever is thrown my way?”
I had made a bit of a hopeful expression on my face when I had said that.
And as for Johnny’s response, he just simply said to me, “Well, I am your friend here, and so I shall help you.”
And then as we were staring towards each other, the entire darkness disappeared around me and turned into bright, white snow. To get a better idea what I’m talking about, we were no longer in an empty, dark room. Instead, everything around me turned into a mountain like setting. We were on the tippy top of a range of very tall mountains with being near the edge of falling off and all around was snow, all the while there was a snow storm raging against us very fiercely, although we could both hold our positions.
But the sudden change in light did make me squint as the light was too bright too fast as I held up my left forearm over my eyes. But after a few seconds of getting used to the light, I slowly put my left arm down and I started to look all around me. In a way, it was kind of a beautiful scenery, but also it was kind of frightening since it looked like we were very high up and could die, even though that wasn’t a possibility. But I looked down with sort of wide eyes to see that there was several inches of snow under me and all I could see around me was an endless mountain range with snow blowing in every direction.
I looked towards Johnny as he continued to smile warmly towards me, “What is this place!? Did you do this?”
Johnny then said to me, “Of course I didn’t, this is all you!”
He then turned around and spread out his arms like an eagle as he was presenting the whole land towards me like it was some great piece of art from a museum.
After he had turned his back towards me and my look turned into a curious one, he then lightly turned his head towards me and said with a smile, “But of course, you had a little help along the way.”
And then he let himself fall off the edge to where I couldn’t see him. My eyes went wide of course as I took a couple steps forward to see if he had committed suicide, with a look of curiosity on my face.
And after I took a couple of steps to see, an eagle flew really fast in front of me forward and Johnny’s voice came from that eagle, “CLEAR YOUR MIND AND OPEN YOUR EYES KNIGHT!”
And in that moment, as I looked at him flying away, I started to think about those simple and few words that he had said to me. It was like poetry, like it rhymed and there was a philosophical meaning to it all. It was almost like a life changing event and that it was a message for me to turn over a new leaf and to have a new outlook on life, and to perhaps see the world and life itself in a different light.
Nah, I’m just messing with you, I just shrugged a little and said to myself, “Fuck it.”
And then I went off the edge as well, and just like Johnny, before my very eyes, I was flying like an eagle. Well, not an eagle, but like a hawk, or a weird cross between an eagle and a hawk.
It was kind of weird, but I was flying just like him and I was flying through the snow storm like a breeze and through the mountain range. And as the land before me was passing my by like time passing a mortal by, the words that Johnny had said to me started to ring in my head constantly over and over again as it got progressively louder and louder.
And the more that it did, the more that I started to concentrate. And soon I started to feel something again near my heart, and before you knew it, I opened up my eyes and was in the living room with Wolf being still on the couch, but lying down lazily, and still in the position that I had left myself in.
And when I did, Wolf suddenly woke up and asked me in a half confused, half mellowed out state, “So… did you find something?” I then gave a hard look of seriousness and determination in my eyes as I then said to him, “I know what to do… I think...”
And then it was off to the challenge.
BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN…
After that was over, it was time to face Douchebag. Well, I saw him… let me explain. Me and Wolf left the library and we headed back straight to the center of Stalia where Douchebag was still at, waiting for me, and with only twenty one minutes left to spare. When we made it back, everyone there that was in the crowd before was waiting for us, with my ‘friends’ also waiting for me with Forrest being the eager one, rooting for me to beat Douchebag.
Once I had made it back, I had the look of confidence on my face, as Wolf had the look of a stoner on his face, so it kind of made me look bad, but I didn’t say anything to Wolf because that would have hurt his feelings and something about friendship or some shit. Anyways, everyone had made room for me and Douchebag to fight in, so it wasn’t on the wooden stage from before.
The room that we were given was kind of big, just not that big. And it was more or less like an alley way sort of speak, with both ends being open. And as I showed up, Douchebag was pacing back and forth, looking pissed as he was waiting for me.
And once I showed up, his head popped up and he started to have a grin form on his face as he pointed towards me and asked, “So, you ready to face me or do you want to forfeit now and admit that I am the most magnificent one here?”
I had then turned my face from a serious one to a I don’t care one and I just said to Douchebag, “Yeah I really don’t care about the whole magnificent thing. I mean it’s kind of… or whatever, LET’S JUST GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH ALREADY!”
I had said that last part with a bit of anger on my face since I did want to get the whole thing over with, I mean I had plans that day, I just didn’t expect the stuff to repeat that soon.
But with that being said, Douchebag then gave a little huffing sound and then simply said to me while closing his and taking his position on his end of the little arena, “Fine, have it your way then.”
He then soon took position and I took mine’s on the other end with Wolf sticking to the sidelines.
And before we began, I looked towards Douchebag and asked him, “So, how is this all going to go down?”
Douchebag then said to me with a grin, “How? How this is going to go down is that I will beat you and I will win!”
He had raised both his forearms up and briefly stood up on his back legs. From there, he then went back down going back to all fours.
I then looked towards him, but annoyed and asked him, “No you idiot, I mean what are the rules?”
Douchebag then had wide eyes and seemed a little embarrassed and then said to me, “Oh uhhh… I don’t know, I never really think about rules.”
I then said in a sort of calmed down, yet still in an annoyed state on my face, “How about we each take a turn doing a spell and whoever the crowd cheers for the most wins. We can do best two out of three.”
Douchebag then said to me with a little, genuine smile, “Sounds good.”
He then started to go back to his grin, “I shall go first since I am the one with the talent!”
I then said to him in an annoyed tone, “Good for ya, I’m proud of ya Engineer”
He then said with grace while closing his eyes, “Thank you.”
He then had a sort of sinister looking smile form on his face as he raised both of his forearms up and said to the crowd, “NOW EVERYPONY STAND BACK, BE AMAZED AS I NOW SHALL CAST A SPELL OF LEVIATION!”
I then said sarcastically, “Oh no… not levitation…”
However Douchebag wasn’t being intimidated as he just looked towards me with a little strain in his eyes as he said to me, “Oh, but you don’t know what I’ll levitate! PLEASE MAY EVERYPONY LOOK TOWARDS THE WOODEN STAGE! PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT IT IS MADE OUT OF PURE, SOLID WOOD AND WOULD TAKE SEVERAL, POSSIBLY HUNDREDS OF STRONG STALLIONS TO EVEN LIFT IT UP A SINGLE INCH!!!”
While saying that, Douchebag didn’t turn around to face the stage and had closed his eyes with a smile with sheer confidence, all the while everyone from the crowd turned around to pay attention to what Douchebag was going to do. I was paying attention as well, curious what he was going to try and do.
And with that, Douchebag looked at me and kept his attention on me, not glancing or what it looked like to be concentrating on the stage. And as he was staring at me and giving me the stink eye, his horn lit up and the stage without force or resistance was just lifted up from the ground like a balloon. It rose into the air, above several tens of feet as everyone went “oooo” and “ahhhhh” in the crowd.
As for me, I just rolled my eyes and softly said under my breath, “I lifted a building once like that years ago, nothing special.”
However Douchebag never caught on to that and just gave me a wide evil looking grin thinking that he had gotten me beat. However he didn’t just lift it off the ground like a hot air balloon, but rather he did some little tricks with the wooden stage as well.
He first spun it around like it was some battling tops from an anime, and then he proceeded to move it around over the heads of the crowd as the audience were astonished by this act of his, even though he could have easily crushed them all to death, but hey, who cares, look at the pretty colors like an autistic kid that makes a cringy YouTube channel name with ‘BEIBER FAN’S TEARS’ and somehow thinking he is hot shit for doing it with a really big ego that has been long been deflated. Yet he still thinks it’s there because he cries himself to sleep every night cause he can’t get the girl from OnlyFans to say his NAME despite maxing out all of his parents credit cards. Yet he somehow believes he’s doing great in life despite being in rock bottom and will never admit it even though he knows it deep down that it’s true but rather doing anything about it, he just sits there and sticks his thumb up his asshole pretending to believe that he’s the kid from Harry Potter and that he wasn’t beaten enough by his father as a kid… you know that kind of crowd when they look into the face of death.
Anyways after trying to show off his skills, Douchebag then safely put the wooden stage back down in its place from where he picked it up and did it all without breaking a sweat. Although he did probably break his eyes from staring at me for so long… those eyes were looking pretty dry to say the least. Also the crowd didn’t cheer, they were appeased though, but no cheer, but I don’t think Douchebag caught on and thought I would just lose as he got all the ‘ooooooos’ and ‘aahhhhhs.’
Anyways, the crowd’s attention went back to the both of us as Douchebag then pointed at me and said with a big, egotistical smile, “AH HA! THAT WAS ONE OF MY MANY OF MY MAGNIFICENT TRICKS! AND I HAVE MANY MORE FROM WHERE THAT CAME FROM! SO, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STILL BEAT ME NOW!? DO YOU FEEL LIKE… GIVING UP!? THERE’S NO SHAME IN GIVING UP NOW, YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY AND I WON’T TELL THE WHOLE OF EQUESTRIA HOW FOOLISH YOU MADE YOURSELF LOOK FOR TYING TO CHALLENGE ME IN THE BOOK I’M GOING TO WRITE CALLED I’M BETTER THAN YOU AND HERE’S WHY! It’s a working title, thinking I’m going to go with Magnificent! A Tell All from Harry Himself. Copyright pending of course.”
I then stared at him, unamused and said to him, “Yeah I’m not doing that… I can beat that…”
However Douchebag was unamused with my words as well as he then said with still his egotistical smile, “WELL I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!”
I then said to him, “Ok…”
And from there, I said to myself softly and under my breath, “Alright then Knight, you can do this. Just remember what the magic man in my head said, Clear my mind and open my eyes. Clear my mind and open my eyes. Clear my mind and open my eyes.”
And so I stood firmly on the ground, digging deep little bit into the Earth, and closed my eyes real tight so I could concentrate. I didn’t have a spell written to top what Douchebag did, or at least any that I could remember. Hey, I’m a lazy fuck sometimes, what can I say, but at least I admit it compared to Wolf. And half the time I just don’t really care.
But because I didn’t have anything written down, I had to concentrate real hard on what to do, because to put it simply; my magic worked different from Twilight or Celestia since they needed to see the spell and practice with it and blah blah blah, for me it was more or less trying to concentrate with my body and mind kind of like how it was for me back in the outside of the universe. I can still write it down, but it was more of a feeling than a logical thinking, it’s kind of hard to explain when you’re not a unicorn with magical horn. Surprising, I know. So I stood there, trying to concentrate real hard on what I was trying to do, which was pretty much winging it by that point, and after a brief few seconds of anticipated silence from everyone in crowd and a curious Douchebag, awaiting to see what I would pull off, my horn lit up and formed an aurora and… nothing happened. I opened up my eyes, a bit in distress, and looked around and nothing happened.
And Douchebag was loving it as well as he then laughed and proclaimed to me “HA HA HA! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULDN’T BEST ME! YOU JUST MADE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF AND…
And soon Douchebag was cut off as something then did happen, it was just a delay, as everyone started to slowly and gently float up and levitate from the ground, including me, to which I had a small smile form on my face since it kind of felt nice. As for the crowd, including my ‘friends’, they were too “oooing” and “aaaahhhhing” at my feat.
We didn’t go that far of course, it was only like a few feet from off the ground, but it was everyone within like a twenty one feet radius actually. And not only was it the ponies, but objects including the wooden stage floated as well. However Douchebag was sour as he was floating and crossed his arms, as he knew this topped his spell that he had done.
And after a minute or two of being and feeling weightless and some of the ponies having a little fun with the magic trick, I used my horn, closed my eyes, and turned it off. It was like an anti-gravity spell that I had came up with one the fly…although I didn’t write it down so I couldn’t replicate it if I wanted to, I would have to come up with something else if I had wanted to so again. And as I turned back on the gravity, I made sure to have everyone return safely, including the Douchebag named Douchebag. And as the crowd remained happy and satisfied from their experience after landing, they all cheered and applauded for me, and my small smile was still there since I didn’t expect to that happen. Again, I was winging it, so lucky me.
But Douchebag was not happy however, as he had a pissed off look on his face as he then said to me, “OK THEN, SO YOU BEAT ME ONCE, BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WON’T BEAT ME IN THE NEXT ROUND! I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT! AND YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED TO WIN, YOU HEAR ME! EVEN IF I HAVE TO FORGE ALL THE VOTES AND… oh excuse me, I shouldn’t have said that. That was for something else in the next town over and uhhh… just forget that I even said it. Anyways… YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED TO WIN, AND I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT A PONY WITH TRUE TALENT HAS! AND THAT IS ME, ME ME ME ME, I I I I YOU HEAR ME!? ON TO THE NEXT ROUND!”
He was saying it with such anger in his voice, as if he was almost afraid of losing to me. He was acting up in a way like a group of people that go online and say, “Me me me me, I I I I” all the time in an online chat forum, and yet get shitted on every time, yet question why they get shitted on all the time, yet can ever come to the conclusion as to why they do, so they continue to act the way that they do thinking it’s going to change something.
But then they realize they caught the Big Gay and die in the end because the Big Gay is a deadly disease and we all need to wear cheaply made medical masks for the next fifty years and to never go outside cause you don’t want to catch the Big Gay. Be a good goy and put your mask on. It can protect you from everything including AIDS, mercury (the bad kind), big meanie words that might hurt your feweeings, and so much more, just like the school desks from the 1950’s that said it could protect the kids from nuclear bombs.
You can trust me, I’m a doctor and you must listen to your doctor, ok, I’m a doctor, I’m your doctor, I’m a medical hero. You gotta listen to me and praise me endlessly like the Golden Calf cause I’m a big boy being brave or some shit or you’re gonna catch the Big Gay and die. You don’t want to die do you? Dying is bad and we can’t let dying happen. No one is allowed to die. You don’t want your more than likely already dead (or wants to die already) grandma to die do you? (Although who gives a fuck about grandpa, am I right?)
So you gotta listen to me right now and do as you’re told. You’re letting the “Human Spirit” and “Muh Freedom” get in the way of doing what you’re told because if you don’t do these 6 things, you are three times more likely to die of the Big Gay. But don’t worry, a vaccine made by a guy who stole an OS and sold it to everyone else and possibly hates the entire continent of Africa and possibly all the blacks and possibly says the the big no no n-word ni🅱🅱er in his sleep every night is going to make the cure and it will be made by 6 other doctors that definitely know what they’re doing, and it will be tested out on only 6 people before being approved for everyone else to take, despite what the results turn out from those tests.
Even if you get a stroke, who cares, fuck you. Just remember that Africa gets the vaccines first for no sinister reason. You know those kind of people… what? Anyways, I didn’t say a word and Douchebag then went ahead with the next one.
Before he performed the trick, he said to everyone in the crowd, “ALRIGHT THEN EVERYPONY! IF MY FIRST TRICK DIDN’T AMAZE YOU ENOUGH TO APPLAUD FOR ME, THEN THIS ONE SURELY WILL AND BEAT THAT LAST TRICK OUT OF THE WATER!”
And so Douchebag fired up his horn and after a few seconds of waiting, nothing also happened. And everyone in the crowd was confused as we all just stood there; wondering if anything was going to happen. Douchebag however was keeping his head down while looking at me funny with an evil looking grin on his face as he too dug a little bit into the ground, holding his position.
This went on for a bit until some random fruity sounding stallion spoke up and asked, “Excuse me but uhhh… is anything supposed to be happening right now?”
Douchebag just simply said without taking his eyes off of me, “Look to the sky.”
And then everyone did including me as we all turned our heads upwards. And once we did, everyone, including me, had our mouths agape as what we saw before us was a giant glass dome that definitely wasn’t taken from a book or a movie, I swear. No seriously, I sear, Douchebag doesn’t know about The Simpsons Movie at all. It was just a lucky coincidence.
And with that being said, the big giant glass dome was big enough to cover the entire town of Stalia, which was kind of big to begin with, and it hovered over the town. And without a single word, Douchebag then made the giant glass dome land on the ground and seal Stalia under the dome. And with that, the entire crowd gave a big cheer and applause for Douchebag’s act.
And as he did, the glass dome then broke into millions of tiny little pieces, raining down upon the town and possibly killing a pony or two that day… somewhere as they screamed in pain and agony as their life was swiftly taken from them as the glass pierced their bodies and that we will never know who it was or what they were doing right before they died as the glass seeped into their eye sockets and shattered their skulls as they slowly, painfully, died a death for the ages….
………………
Anyways, Douchebag with his big ego was then taking a bow and have a smile as if he had done one of the most amazing acts ever.
After which, Douchebag then looked to me with that stink eye of his and asked me, “So then…you think you can beat that… Knight?”
I then said to him, a bit nervously because there was no way I could do that, not off the bat anyways, “Of course I can… I uhh… I can do something waaaaaaay better than that… he he?...”
I had a nervous smile on my face as my eyes were shifting from side to side at the audience, wondering if anyone could smell my doubt. However, there was only an awkward silence from everyone else as they were waiting on me.
So I took a gulp, was a little worried, but went back and did the same thing before from the first trick as I said to myself softly, “Clear your mind and open your eyes. Clear your mind and open your eyes. Clear your mind and open your eyes.”
And after what felt like a long time, I opened up my eyes after closing them to try and concentrate and relaxed my muscles a bit, to see what I had done. And what I had done was make a medium sized, spinning metal disc that hovered over the crowd.
And not the entire audience either, it was like about half way and it did absolutely nothing aside from spinning… like from a spinning tops anime. I had said to myself under my breath quietly, “Well… I lost that round”, with a disappointing look on my face.
And from there the audience gave a slight weep of approval as Jack then yelled at me from the crowd, “BOOOOO! DO SOMETHING BETTER YOU LOSER!”
I then annoyingly rolled my eyes at him after he had said that and just said to myself, “Thanks for the confidence booster asshole…”
And with that, I had lost that round, and what comes with that was a very big gloating from Douchebag as he pointed at me with his left hoof and said, “HA HA HA HA! YOU LOST! YOU LOST I TELL YOU! YOU LOST! I’M THE WINNER! I DID IT! I’M THE GREATEST AND I AM BETTER THAN YOU! HA HA HA HA! ACCEPT THAT YOU LOST YOU LOSER! HA HA HA HA! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!”
I then told him, somewhat pissed off cause it was starting to get hard to bare his gloating like an asshole, “There’s still one round left. It’s tied one to one Douchebag!”
Douchebag then said to me, “HA HA HA HA, HA HA HA… oh right. Apologizes then… BUT IF YOU DON’T ACCEPT THAT YOU LOST, I’M GONNA… I’M GONNA DECLARE CIVIL WAR ON YOU AND UHHH… THREAT TO BOMB YOUR HOUSE… YEAH!...”
I just rolled my eyes at him after he had said that since that sounded very autistic of him to say.
I then said to him, “Whatever, can we just get on with it!?” Then Douchebag then said, as the medium sized metal spinning disc didn’t disappear, it just stood there hovering and spinning like a kid during a school shooting where the school shooter says to not move, “FINE, PREPARE TO BE AMAZED ALL OF YOU, AS THIS WILL SURELY GIVE ME MY WIN AGAINIST KNIGHT!”
He had said that while standing on his two back legs and while raising his forearms into the air with emotion and feeling. And so Douchebag closed his eyes tightly like I did and concentrated while firing up his magical horn. And from there, after a few seconds, he casted a spell that then made a box of what appeared to have been uncounted ballots as it was written on the side ‘Ballots Yet To Counted’ appear right in front of him.
And as soon as Douchebag realized this, he was a little annoyed as he said to himself, “Ah shit, not that, I meant to do the other thing!”
And then he made the box of uncounted ballots disappear and then in that place, made a fancy stallion dressed all up in a suit and tie with a really big tall hate, monocle, and cane appear instead. And this pony was confused as he was looking at his surroundings, and confused as to what just happened.
And soon as this happened, Douchebag raised his right forearms up and told everyone, “GAZE UPON MY ACHIEVEMENT FOR I HAVE JUST TELEPORTED THIS FINE GENTLECOLT HERE ALL THE WAY FROM MANEHATTEN!”
Everyone in the crowd was unamused as you could hear metaphorical crickets chirping in the background.
And so Douchebag looked a tad bit nervous so he came up with what sounded like a quick, but convincing lie, keyword being sounded like, “Uhhh… FROM FIVE MINUTES FROM THE FUTURE!”
After that statement, the crowd went nuts and cheered him on while Douchebag had a calming smile on his face as he felt like he did it.
And then the random stallion got up near Douchebag’s face and asked him kindly, “Excuse me, but where am I right now?”
Douchebag then said with an annoying look on his face, “Get the fuck out of here you scrub.”
And he had then teleported him back to Manehatten… assumingly from the near future. Was he from the near future… probably not, and yeah that’s considered cheating but did any of the drug filled audience give a damn? No, and honestly neither did I because you just get to the point where you just don’t care anymore… Anyways, that was Douchebag’s last try, and now on to my last try.
For me, I remained a little nervous once again since the audience seemed easy to please, yet hard to read. So I didn’t say anything to myself this time around and just concentrated, and after a few seconds went by, a big metal thingy appeared right in front of me with a bunch of flashing and shiny buttons and everyone was confused. I was confused too, and was extremely worried what was going to happen since I had no clue what happened. I was concentrating on trying to come up with something that would knock everyone’s socks off real hard, trying to think real hard about something… and somehow that came up.
So I looked at the audience, gave a little nervous laugh and said to them all, “Just part of the act.”
Douchebag on the other hand remained curious. So I went up to the metal thingy that had a bunch of buttons, it was about my height as a pony if I was standing on my back two legs, and that’s what I did. And I started pressing random buttons, hoping to god that something would happen. Thankfully something did happen as after I pressed something, the medium sized spinning metal disc then responded with some loud, deep bass noises that sounded like musical notes, almost like a song but it wasn’t a song, it was just high and low pitches that were very deep, as it lit up with bright, colorful lights.
And everyone looked up to that disc, including me with wide eyes, not sure what to make out of it. So I then went ahead and quickly started to press more random buttons, and the more that I pressed, the more in tune the noises sounded to be in.
And after about like I don’t know three minutes of doing nothing but pressing buttons and making it look like I was communicating with the disc in some capacity, even though I had no fucking clue if I was doing it to begin with, the disc gave its last loud noises that were deep and sounded like the brown note, took off, and the metal thingy with all the buttons had a tiny, self contained explosion.
And from there, I looked to the crowd nervously with a little sweat and said to them softly, “Ta daaaaaaaaa…”, as I held out my right hoof.
And then… there was no cheers for me and it sounded like I had lost. But then after that, the crowd cheered and applauded for me about the same as they did with douchebag, and I had a little smile on my face as it had sounded like I had won the competition.
This of course didn’t go over so easy with Douchebag as he came up to me, with a sour tone in his voice and an annoyed and angered frown and said to me, “How could this be!? HOW COULD WE BOTH BE TIED! IT WAS BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!”
I then was a bit confused as I then asked; “Tied?”
Douchebag then annoyingly said to me, “Yes, we’re tied. Didn’t you hear the audience’s applause was roughly the same for the both of us?”
I then stood there for a bit and thought about it as I took my right hoof to my chin and then said, “Oh, I guess you’re right. I guess we are tied huh?”
Douchebag then said with both of his hooves out in frustration, “WELL THIS WON’T DO! We need a new challenge then, a tie breaker of sorts… let me think… hmmmmm…”
I just stood there waiting for an answer for him, waiting to see what he could come up with so we could get it all over with… until Neon walked by and said to the both of us, “How about fighting an User Major?”
My eyes then became wide as I had not expected Neon to even suggest that and knew that he was trying to fuck with me as I swiftly then turned towards Neon in distress and yelled to Neon, “NEON, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
However it was too late as Douchebag got his “ah ha” moment as he said out loud, “That’s it! I’ve got it!”
He then proceeded to look at me with his stink eye again, still being close to me, “We shall have a tie breaker between you and I. And the tie breaker shall be whoever takes down an User Major first and brings some sort of evidence to prove that they did, wins! What do you say Knight? Sounds like a deal?”
And for me, I just stood there with wide worried eyes and said to myself, “Fuck me…”
LATER THAT DAY AT THE LIBARAY…
And that’s why you shouldn’t stick your dick into vodka after outing your ding a long into a woman’s crusty vagina or else you get the dick cheese. And if it burns, well that’s your fault, maybe you shouldn’t be banging every whore you see. The rule is you only bang the ones that have a tattoo because they think they are being bad ass that way and they are strong. I mean what?
Well, that’s how it ended between me and Douchebag for the fight. Nevertheless, of course, just like an angst, edgy teen’s depression it was far from over. In fact, it couldn’t be more than 9/11. In the end, Harry was only more or less pissed that this whole thing ended up being a tie. And I had to agree to it, although to clarify, there was no time limit. It was just whoever could do it first, so sooner the better.
Anyways, after that had happened, me and Wolf headed back to our home, I kicked down the door like last time, a little pissed and annoyed, as Wolf was telling me, “Come on Knight, how bad can it be?”
I then responded to him, “How bad can it be!? HOW BAD CAN IT BE!? IT’S A FUCKING USER MAJOR, I REMEMEBER IT FROM THE SHOW AND THERE IS NO WAY I WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE IT DOWN… Well… not without it being bloody. I mean I could kill it, but I would need TK’s help. I was never good at taking down something big like that without help. I’m more used to smaller thing like rats.”
Wolf then looked at me with squinting eyes with also a disgusted look on top and said to me, “You kill rats? You monster.”
I then said to him, “Oh don’t give me that fucking shit Wolf! And that’s beside the point! I have to figure out how to take down an User Major… and I am not entirely sure if I can figure it out with my magic. Sure, I’m sure my magic is strong enough for it, yet I’m not entirely sure how it all works still.”
Wolf then asked me, “But didn’t you go to Celestia’s school for a number of years though?”
I then told Wolf, “Wolf, most of the time I was either skipping class, sleeping, or jerking around. I literally paid the nerd to do some of my homework and just half assed the in class magic tests to where I could at the very least be passable in Celestia’s eyes. I didn’t pay attention to that shit… let alone remember half the shit that Celestia taught me. Seriously, she expects me to remember all those techniques, like no fucking way is that ever going to happen.”
Wolf then asked me, “Yet somehow you still got an A in Calculus?”
I then corrected Wolf calmly and said to him, “No Wolf, I got a C in that class. That was the one where I would skip every other day, and every other day that I would go to it, I would just sit back in the class room and then jerk around like a mother fucker.”
Wolf then said to me, “Oh yeah, I remember now, I was right there with ya.”
Then I said to Wolf, “No… no you weren’t. you were too busy doing god knows what like trying to get laid by one of the mares or lying around while I did all the work and then maybe occasionally you did you something every now and then…… You were nothing more than dead weight.”
Wolf then told me, “Yes, but I was dead weight that was your best buddy… and still am!”
He had said with a big smile as if I was supposed to smile along with him.
However I just stood there, with no smile with a slight disappointing look on my face as I just stood there and asked Wolf, “You’re proud of that aren’t you?”
Wolf had then said to me with a slightly bigger smile while moving his wooden paw to the side with emotion, “You’re damn right I am!”
And after he had said that, I couldn’t help but have a little smile on my face as I then said to him, “I guess you are.”
Wolf then said to me, “DAMN RIGHT! Now go get that User Major while I stay back and hold down the fort!”
I then said to Wolf with my small smile disappearing, “You mean you’re just going to stay back, smoke weed, eat all the food, and get drunk again while I could potentially die somewhere out in the Everfree Forest?”
Wolf then said to me with such enthusiasm, “And get molested by Princess Molestia of course!”
I didn’t say a word to him and just instead rolled my eyes sarcastically at him.
IN THE LIBARAY ROOM…
So after Wolf and I had that little conversation, we went ahead and went to the library room where Wolf went ahead and sat in the leather chair that was sitting in the room as he watched me go through all of the books. For me, I was going through all of the books, and when I mean by going through, I was just briefly glancing at the spines to see if there was anything on animals or User Majors.
Sadly, I didn’t find any as I was struggling along with my eyes to find anything that would be particularly relevant to my quest. But as I searched from the bottom book shelf to the top book shelf, I could not find one single book related to my issue that I was having.
I had came across some books related to How to Summon Satan by a Hambone, What’s the Deal with Air? A book of Stand Up Jokes by a CGI Bee, Laugh, Live and Love, a Story about my Life by someone who’s going to be a millionaire because you’re stupid enough to buy this book; seriously that was the author’s name. Then of course there was other books with the titles such as Birds and the Bess: A tale of war and Apples by Mac Farmer, self published, My Zigga, My Wigga: How to Cool with Zebras by ZibbyWibby, and A Book of AIDS: What they are and where to find them and catch them.
Then there was a bunch of untitled and blank books with no titles on the spines or no covers, just leather bound fancy books. So as I had a bit of a look of disappointment as well as a sign of a struggle on my face, I kept thinking in my head that there had to be a book about the subject of User Majors somewhere, but I just couldn’t find any. Granted the library was small and honestly I didn’t even know what was in the library, despite me being the one that was to be trusted with these books.
As I was struggling to find the book that I so much needed, Wolf asked me as he was lounging around in the chair that he was in, “So, did you find it yet?”
I then said to Wolf without looking at him with an annoyed look on my face, “No Wolf, not yet. I just can’t seem to find anything related to animals or the Everfree Forest at all.”
Wolf then suggested to me, “Well maybe Twilight might have something in her library.”
I then gave a little sigh and turned around to look at Wolf and told him, “No I am not going over there.”
Wolf then asked me, “Why not? You’re starting to agree with everypony here that Ponyville sucks or something?”
Wolf had looked a bit curious when had said that, almost like a tease.
However I then told Wolf, with a bit of frustration in my voice, “No Wolf, I ain’t going over there because I’m staying far away from there right now. If I go over there, I suspect the Universe will only make my situation worse. So I’m trying to avoid all contact with the Mane Six as possible when it comes to these repeats and try to make it as simple as possible. But of course nothing simple is it Wolf… especially with you and the other Wolf.”
Wolf then asked me, “Well what about the show? Didn’t they say anything about User Majors on the show that you watched back on earth?”
I then said to Wolf, “No because the writers didn’t feel the need to explore the mythos. Well they did, but not with Zebras. I think they have a thing against Zebras or something. Look it doesn’t matter, the show isn’t going to fucking help me and this is… starting to get on my damn nerves.”
Wolf then said to me, “Well someone sounds cranky, does someone need to take a nap?”
I then said to Wolf, “Fuck off. Now I’ve got to figure something out. But the problem is that not only do I not know how to take down an User Major, but where to find one in the Everfree… DAMN IT THIS IS SO HARD!”
I was clearly starting to lose it, but Wolf then calmly said to me, in a somewhat lazy fashion I might add, “So why not go ask Arrell, he’s an animal expert isn’t he?”
And within that moment, I got that ah ha moment as my eyes lit up and I said to Wolf, “Huh… I didn’t think of that. Thanks Wolf, I guess you aren’t such dead weight after all. You’re just dead weight that comes up with a decent idea every once in a blue moon.”
I had said that last part with my eye calming down.
And Wolf then just said to me as he was getting comfortable in his little spot, “And I’m happy about it. Now good luck and what not… get some eggs on your way back or something.”
I then said to Wolf, “We already have eggs.”
Wolf then said to me, “Then we need more lube. I need more for my long wood… so I can stick it up a hole… you get it Knight… you get what I’m saying? You get it…”
Wolf was saying that last bit to me by looking at me with a funny looking smile as he was expecting me to get it as I just sat there unamused by his antics.
And then I sort of cut off Wolf by saying to him, “Use Vaseline instead asshole.”
I was not in the mood to bare the way that he was acting, so I had said that as I was going on my way out to go see Arrell.
And as I was walking out the door, Wolf just said to me, with a bit of a smile on his face, “I GO A STEP FURTHER, I USE HOT GREASE! TRUST ME, DON’T KNOCK IT TILYOU TRY IT!”
LATER AT ARRELL’S PLACE…
So after I had left, I went straight to Arrell’s place that was near on the outskirts of Stalia and kind of near the Everfree. After the whole competition thing, everyone in town just kind of went back to their daily lives, as some were talking about and whispering, wondering when one of us would bring back evidence of one of us taking down an User Major. I could hear it as I was walking by everyone, trying to get to Arrell’s home. And the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized I didn’t even have anything in my satchel to save my life, not even against an User Major.
I mean I had a gun in there, a hand gun that was barely used… but it was always in there and I’m just amazed it never went off, and somehow still to this day it has never went off. I don’t even think the safety is on… weird.
Anyways, eventually after walking by places of business that were opened and were ran by the townsfolk of Stalia, trying to live out their dreams unlike in some countries where they burned down by monkeys and are forced to close by their government because they said so or else, you know… countries like Brazil. Those gangs of monkeys, I tell ya, they always try to burn small businesses down as they simp for the big corporations instead.
That’s why you never step foot in Brazil. Anyways, I made it to Arrell’s home that was on a sort of hill a little bit, bit of an incline I should say. And as I went up to his place, his home was like Fluttershy’s but in different ways, and there was a weird shed in the back or something. Anyways, I walked up to his place, knocked on the front door and thankfully he was there. Well he let me in; I talked with him as I was sitting in his living area as his crimes against nature creatures were minding their own business in the home as Arrell was listening to my issue.
And after I had said my piece to him, he then said, “Nope, I can’t help you.”
He had said with his eyes closed and a disapproving look on his face. I then asked Arrell, “Oh come on Arrell, you do all of this fucking weird shit here. How come you can’t just come and help me find an User Major?”
Arrell then said, with his disapproving look at me, almost like Fluttershy’s Stare but kind of a rip off, “Unlike the rest of you guys, I have standards.”
I then asked, with a bit of frustration, “Standards? WHAT STANFARDS, YOU FUCKING FORCE BREED ANIMALS AND MAKE WEIRD ABOMINATIONS… AND NO ONE QUESTIONS ABOUT THAT…”
Arrell then said, somewhat quickly, “Well I have different standards compared to most, but still, I have a code to abide by. Ever since my uhhh… troubles… in my past… I have promised to stick by a code of conduct and that I will not go out there blindly recklessly and mess with any creature of any kind’s life without a good reason. And I don’t feel like you have a good reason.”
I then said to Arrell “Oh no, I get it Arrell, you’re just trying to be Mr. Goody Goody so you don’t look bad.”
Arrell then said to me, with an annoyed and angered look on his face, “I am not!”
He then went to a sad / nervous look on his face, “I’m just trying to be good is all.”
I then said to Arrell, “Good my ass, you’re just as bad as the rest of us, with me being the least bad. At least I try to be the voice of reason.”
Arrell then looked a little disappointed by my comment as he then said, “Really? I thought I was the voice of reason within our group?”
I then said to Arrell, “Sure, maybe when I wasn’t here, but now that I’m here you’ve gone down the ranks boy. Now are you are going to help me or not?”
Arrell then shook his head a little bit and went back to his scowl a bit as he then said to me, “Sorry Knight, but the answer is still no. You’re on your own.”
I then said as I was getting off the couch and about to head out as I gave a slight sigh and a mellowed out look on my face, “Fine, I guess I’ll just go to Fluttershy. Guess I shouldn’t have expected much from a Scuffed Fluttershy to try and help me out.”
And with that comment, Arrell’s eyes lit up and then stopped me by standing in front of my exit as he then looked a little pissed off.
He then proceeded to say to me, “A Scuffed Fluttershy? A Scuffed Fluttershy!? SCUFFED FLUTTERSHY!? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING KNIGHT, I AM NO WHERE NEAR THAT BOTTOM OF THE BARRELL YELLOW BITCH! I MAY HAVE STANDARDS, BUT I ALSO KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I AM NO SUCFFED FLUTTERSHY! I AM ABOVE HER AND AM BETTER THAN HER IN EVERY WAY!”
I slightly said under my breath, “Sounds familiar from another certain pony…”
However Arrell had heard that as he then said to me, “I HEARD THAT! AND I AM NOT LIKE THAT HARRY FUCK EITHER! I’m just trying to say that I AM THE ANIMAL PONY AROUND HERE, NOT HER! YOU HEAR ME! YOU COME TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE ANIMAL ISSUES, NOT THAT TWO TIMING YELLOW BITCH! AND I’LL PROVE IT TO YA! Come on Knight, we’re going to kill an User Major.”
He had said with such a pissed off tone, yet I wasn’t bothered by that as I had a smile on my face since it seemed like we were getting somewhere with this. And with that being said, we headed out to the Everfree Forest.
SOMEWHERE DEEP WITHIN THE EVEFRE FOREST…
So as we headed out, Celestia’ sun was going down. Yeah, it was that late in the day. What a day you know, went through a whole lot too. I smoked weed with Wolf, got to see a show, then had a Douchebag named Douchebag challenge me, did some training, did some metal training and met some hippy dippy looking mother fucker named Johnny, did some neat magic tricks, and then got yelled at by Arrell which was kind of intense to say the least. I mean he could really yell, almost as if it was his Fluttershy’s Stare.
Anyways, me, Arrell, and even his pet bunny Asshat tagged alone, went out into the woods. Although he didn’t bring anything with him other than some rope that was over his back. And he looked to have been still pissed off as I was following right behind him. Anyways, by the time we were deep within the forest, it was already dark outside and Luna’s Moon was about to be put up it had seemed. But even so, we kept going, yet none of us said a word to each other.
And possibly for the best since Arrell didn’t seem to be in the mood for joking around. Anyways, eventually Arrell took me to a big cave with a big mouth and eventually Arrell stopped within his tracks.
And as he stopped, I stopped as well as I then said to him, “So what are we doing here?”
Arrell then said, “First off, keep it down; we got to make sure it doesn’t know. Second, this is where User Majors typically live in.”
I then looked at the cave’s entrance and went “Oooooohhhh”
as my eyes sparkled a bit as I had just learned new information. The More you know… the more you die on the inside.
Anyways, I then asked, not too loud of course, “So, what are we going to do then?”
Arrell didn’t respond to me however. Instead he made a distinctive clicking sound with his mouth, in which case Asshat then proceeded to get off of Arrell’s back with the rope in its tiny paws somehow. And then from there, it went ahead and climbed one of the nearby trees and sort of high up to one of the branches. And from there, it set up one of the those rope traps where you step on it, the rope closes tightly on your legs and then you just kind of hanging there upside down or whatever.
Asshat did all of that, which is weird cause you’d think it was just there for show. But it appeared that Arrell had taught it some tricks. And as Asshat was doing that and my eyes were seeing what the bunny could do, Arrell was just standing there with a smirk. And after Asshat was finished, he fell down and landed perfectly on to Arrell’s back, unharmed and with no emotion.
Arrell then said as he was giving me a little side glance, “So, how’s that for a Scuffed Fluttershy for ya then… huh?”
I then looked back at the work that Asshat did and back to Arrell while noticing that the circle rope part was between me and Arrell.
I then said to him, “Well I’d say you’re still a scuffed Fluttershy, but uhh… less Scuffed then I thought you were.”
Arrell wasn’t happy with that statement as he gave me a bit of a sour look and responded to me with, “Well THIS SCUFFED FLUTTERSHY has made an easy trap for an User Major.”
I then said, “How is a small rope trap going to help kill an User Major?”
Arrell then said to me, with his scowl still at me, “It’s simple; one of the many prey of the User Major will come across here and get trapped by the rope. And from there it will make a distress scream like most animals, and that will prompt the User Major to come out of its cave and to check it out. And while it’s distracted, we’ll come up behind it while it’s not looking in our direction, and we’ll go from there. We just need to get some really big logs and some wooden spears.”
I then asked Arrell in all seriousness, “I don’t Arrell. I don’t believe you and that you’re just making this all up. That sounds like what a Scuffed Fluttershy would do.”
However Arrell then just said to me, “Oh I’ll show you what a Scuffed Fluttershy can do and…”
He was coming towards me, in a bit of a rage you could say, like he was coming for me, as he was saying that, but he was cut off by his own trap as his left back leg got roped up in the trap and was then sling upwards, along with Asshat who had seemed to be clinging on to Arrell’s back when it happened. And so Arrell and Asshat was hanging upside from the tree branch from the trap they had just made for the User Major. And as for me, I just simply looked up towards them as they were slightly swinging from side to side.
And after a few seconds of Arrell realizing that he had done goofed, Arrell pleaded with me, “Uhh… Knight… can you please cut me down… know what, forget that! That’s what Fluttershy would say! I’ll get myself down just… give a moment to figure it out!”
And then Arrell proceeded to struggle with freeing himself and put all of his energy into that. Meanwhile, I happened to look back into the big mouth of the cave and noticed that a mysterious glow was emitting from it.
And that grabbed my curiosity so I then, somewhat mindlessly, went towards that glow, as it sort of reminded me of the ball of light if you know what I mean, and headed towards the mouth of the cave, curious as to what it could be.
And as I had walked away and far from Arrell, Arrell said to himself somewhat quietly, “Knight? Knight? Are you still there? Aw shit…”
IN THE CAVE…
So I went ahead and went into the cave as I was allured by the mysterious glow of light. At first at the entrance to the cave, it was a faint glow with some faint sounds and fuzzing that could be heard from a distance. And as I entered the cave, the mouth of it was really big, pretty much indicating that an User Major could live in it.
Although it wasn’t like a mountain or anything, just a really big cave out in the middle of Everfree Forest is all. Anyways, I entered, completely ignoring Arrell, somewhat intentional, but somewhat not, and let my curiosity guide me. And the further I walked deep into the cave, the brighter the light became and the louder the fuzzing sound became. In fact, that fuzzing sound started to sound a little like static.
However where I was walking was still somewhat overwhelmingly dark and damp as you could hear one of the rocks that looks like an icicle but made out of rock have some water drip from its very tip and into a small puddle of water. Eventually I came to a slight right turn which I then took. And as soon as I took that right turn, there the source of the faint light was revealed to me as well as the fuzzing sound. It was an User Major watching TV.
How should I explain this? So when I turned the slight corner, I saw an User Major sitting in an upright position in a worn down green recliner chair, holding a can of Bear Beer. And right next to him was a small coffee side table that had a broken lamp, a picture of what appeared to have been his kid, and a pill bottle.
And in front of the User Major was a very dirty green rug and a TV that looked like it was from the 1970’s, struggling to make a clear picture on screen with a lot of fuzz and static emitting from it. Also to add, everything was obviously bigger than me, so it almost felt like working into a giant’s room of some sort. And the User Major that was sitting in the broken recliner was more or less depressed.
And when I saw that, I was lost for words and didn’t know what to make out of it. So I just got closer to the User Major, somewhat trying to be careful and being aware that it could still kill me in the end, but a part of me felt like this wasn’t the normal thing for an User Major to do. So as soon as I got close enough, as in about a few feet from the User Major, the thing took notice of me and looked towards me, yet was not disturbed or angry.
Well, he looked a tad bit angry, but rather annoyed really as soon as he saw me, he looked down towards me and said in a somewhat depressed and half drunken state, “I already told you Jihaboo Witnesses, I don’t want to hear about how some snake saw god and then told everycreature else about it and how everycreature was a fucking dumbass to believe it. I told you to not come back here!”
And then he took a sip of his bear beer, and yes it was a he, as it sounded very male and masculine along with a deep voice, something that you would hear in the Blues.
As for me, I just stood there, dumbfounded as to what I was seeing and had wide eyes, wondering what was going on.
However I needed to speak up before he got upset, so I then said to him in a quick nervous reaction, “Uh, I’m not part of a crack pot religion, I’m just a pony from near a little town called Stalia, you might have heard of it? And if not then I don’t blame ya.”
The User Major then calmed down and just went into a plain simple state of depression as he then said while trying to take a sip of his bear beer, “Oh, well then what the hell do you want from me then? Are you selling cookies or some shit? I could use some cookies… she loved cookies whenever I bought it for him...”
The User Major started to weep a little bit, yet no tears but it looked like he wanted to though.
However I just looked up towards him and said to him, “I thought you would have been taller.”
I had mentioned that to him as I thought User Majors judging from the show was much more bigger and taller, especially compared to an User Minor. But for some reason at the time, all that went through my head was that he was not as tall. In fact he was only tall enough to be a full grown adult compared to an User Minor, so in other words, the User Major from Friendship is Magic, but cut down by like half… or three quarters. It’s weird honestly how that even works.
But the User Major didn’t seem to mind my comment as he then just asked me, “What was that pony? I couldn’t hear you?”
Instead of repeating myself, I just went ahead and then asked the User Major, “Uhh, do you have a name?”
The User Major then said to me, still in a half drunken state, trying to get his buzz on, “My name is complicated cause you ponies wouldn’t get it. It’s Jupi, but it’s not like you ponies would ever understand.”
He then took another sip as I took another good luck at his pad. And from there, even I was starting to get depressed and more or less worried for Jupi. So I asked Jupi as he was staring at a static filed TV, although you could just barely make out a picture out on the screen and it looked like a sort of weird version of football being played on screen, but with bears.
And I just looked back towards Jupi and asked, curiously, “What is all this stuff?”
I mean I knew what it was, I was just wondering what the fuck it was doing in a place like Equestria, let alone in a cave where an User Major lives in.
But thankfully Jupi didn’t get upset and throw a fit as he then calmly explained to me, although depressingly, “This is some stuff that the president guy from Future City from miles from here sent me. Said I was part of some sort of poor animal welfare program and that I was given an opportunity to test out their latest products for the future that’ll be given to you ponies. I’m not sure what this stuff is, this fucking drink or this glowy box thing, but it’s entertaining. I see myself in it sometimes and I just wonder what I’ve become you know? I just wonder what life would be like if my WHORE OF A FUCKING WIFE DIDN’T FUCKING CHEAT ON ME WITH THAT STUPID SON OF A BITCH DIPPER AND TOOK THE KID!”
He had gotten mighty angry and even got up a little from his seat as his face was filled with rage. However he then quickly restrained himself as he slowly sat back into his recliner and tried to take a deep breath.
He then looked towards me with an apologetic face as he said to me, “Excuse me for that. I have anger issues and was issued by the Everfree Court to attend anger management. I was given pills to take that would help calm me down and help me sleep at night, you know?”
I then looked at him funny and said to him, “No… I don’t know what that’s like. What happened that put you in this position to begin with?”
Jupi then explained to me, “It’s my wife… or my ex-wife that is. Her name was Calli and we were happily married for seventy years. She was the love of my life and I was her as she was mine. We were happy and eventually had a son named Arcasa. But then one day I came home from work and found her sleeping with our neighbor Dipper. And then instead of talking it out, like the fucking whore she was, she said that we needed to split because she was much happier with dipper!”
The more he talked, the louder he got. Jupi continued to go on, “I tired explaining to how that we could talk this out, that we could go to therapy and try to fix our marriage, but nooooooo! SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T WANT TO AND WANTED TO BE RESONABLE, YET HERE I WAS, TRYING TO BE THE RESONABLE ONE AND TRY TO FIX OUR BROKEN MARRIAGE, AFTER BEING FUCKING TOGETHER FOR SO LONG! YET ALL SHE DID WAS GET A DIVORCE LAWYER, TOOK ME TO COURT, TOOK MY FUCKING HOUSE, AND MOST OF ALL, THAT BITCH TOOK MY FUCKING KID!”
Jupi was all flustered and filled with rage as his yelling turned into roars. He soon stood up, almost as if he was ready to throw down with someone, but after he had said that, he tried to calm down as his breathing became heavy. So he looked to the little side table, took the pill bottle, opened up his other paw, and try to pour some pills out.
However, nothing came out and was confused, so he tried to shake the pill bottle, but nothing came out. From there he looked inside the pill bottle to see what was left, and yet there was nothing and it was completely empty. From there, he let the empty pill bottle hit the floor without a care, and his eyes turned red with anger as you could some of the veins popping out a little bit. And then he walked a little bit towards my direction, ignoring me as I didn’t say a single word and was instead watching all of this unfold.
And from there he could see the town of Stalia from a far enough distance just slightly, and he looked towards the town with anger as he then said in a low tone, “She took the kid.” And then he said with more emotion, “She took the kid. She took the fucking ! SHE TOOK MY FUCKING KID!”
And then he ran off and quickly as he could out of the cave and towards Stalia to let his anger out and to somehow hopelessly get his kid back as he carelessly passed Arrell while he was +on his way out of the forest. And all I could do was stand there, wondering what was going to happen next.
I just stood there and said to myself, “Well… isn’t the first time I fucked things up.”
And then a bright flashing light suddenly appeared before me that was kind of blinding to me as I had to cover my eyes with my left forearm along with a weird siren.
BACK IN STALIA…
And so back to Stalia. Right before Jupi made his way to town, Luna’s moon was fully outside and raised, nice and bright with the stars twinkling and dancing around the moon… possibly for a sacrificial ritual involving killing a star kid to appease the chaos gods and Star Satan. Those damn stars, always plotting their satanic rituals and trying to ruin everyone else’s day, cause you know the government that is either royal or elected is not the one in control, right?
It’s the stars that are in control, and the stars are Satanists as they go ooga booga every night. Anyways, the night was calm, most of all the ponies were asleep in their beds, getting rested for the coming day, and who knows what might come, anything could come. Who knows, maybe one day you wake up to find that Civil War is happening right outside your home, or perhaps a zombie outbreak has started, or maybe Jesus comes down and tells you it’s the end times, you never truly know what you might hear and see the next day, it’s always a mystery.
But still, the town was getting rested for who knew what might have come at that time. And most importantly of all, Douchebag was sleeping as well. Since he wasn’t from around these here parts, he brought his movable house with him… a really big, but sturdy, cardboard box. Although on the outside it looked a little fucked up and torn as well as it looked like it was rained on. And as for where this big cardboard box was, it was just plopped right in the middle of Stalia, and no taxes were paid on it either since it moved.
But to also note, the cardboard box wasn’t only just big, it was big enough for him to fully stand in and have some head room. Douchebag even had a little bed made out of blankets and other thrown out goodies as well as some half eaten food that he may or may not have gotten out from the garbage. And to top it all off, instead of those flaps to where you would usually close the box, the flaps weren’t there, and instead the big gaping hole was covered with a half broken door that was also probably from the garbage.
It was all garbage including him. We call it Pony Garbage. Anyways, Douchebag was sleeping soundly in his little bed until a certain someone’s right hoof came knocking on Douchebag’s half broken door. And after the knock came, Douchebag, while being all groggy and shit, got up from his deep slumber and walked right on over to the door and just pushed the door to the side, annoyed of course since he was cranky from being awoken from his sleep.
And once he opened up, he saw who it was that disturbed him: It was Mac.
And Mac was standing there with a big grin on his face, although Douchebag was not amused at all whatsoever, to where he then asked Mac, “What the fuck do you want? Dog, Tail, I thought I told you two to make sure no one disturbs me!?”
Oh yeah and uhh…. Dog and Tail was there as well. They were a bit further away from Douchebag as Mac was the closet to him of course.
And for Dog and Tail, they both looked ashamed and sorry as Dog tried to explain to him, “We tried to stop him, but he kept pushing us and then threatened us that he’ll shove apples in our little butt holes until we’re forty if he didn’t see you. That and he threw an empty beer bottle at Tail’s head.”
Tail then made a little barking sound in response. So as Douchebag was confronted by Mac and was awoken, he had no other choice but to talk to Mac, despite the sudden urge to just say fuck it all and go back to bed.
So Douchebag then said to Mac after giving a low groaning sigh, “What do you want?”
Mac then continued to have a grin on his face as he held his left hoof far as close to his back as he could and away from Douchebag who was really not in the mood at that moment.
From there, Mac proclaimed, “Ha, you think you’ve got me beat huh!?”, as he pointed towards Douchebag with his right hoof for a second.
However Douchebag was annoyed by him so he then said to Mac, “What the fuck are you even talking about!?”
Mac then continued to say to him, “Remember, from earlier today you somehow knew how many hooves that I was holding up. But I know! I KNOW THE TRUTH! I was set up, it was a set up made by YOU AND APPLEJACK TO MAKE ME A FOOL! But the world will know, THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE TRUTH! THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN KAHOOTS WITH PURE AND UTTER EVIL AND THAT YOU AND APPLEJACK AND ALL HER OTHER EVERFREE FOREST SWAMP FILLED FRIEND SHADOW GROUP, although I’m still trying to prove that in court, case is still pending by the way , AND THAT YOU PLANNED TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID As A FRAUD AND TRY TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA!”
Douchebag was hearing all of this, but he was not amused and was starting to look pissed as Mac continued to go on his little rant.
So Douchebag sort of interrupted him and said to him, “Will you just get on with it already! Just tell me why you’re here or leave me alone!”
Mac then cleared his throat, continued to hold his left hoof to his back, and then said with a grin, “How many hooves am I holding up behind my back?”
Douchebag then made a groaning sound and then said in an annoyed tone, “I don’t know, one I guess?”
And then Mac said with a sudden surprise with his as he pulled his left hoof forward, “WRONG! IM HOLDING TWO HOOVES BEHIND MY BACK, TWO IN MY ASSHOLE, AND TWO IN A PARAELL UNIVERSE! I’M FIVE PARAELL UNIVERSES AHEAD OF YOU HARRY!”
As Mac pulled his left hoof forward, he revealed that he had a crudely drawn picture of a hoof on a piece of paper that he did himself and just taped it onto his left hoof. And as for the two in his asshole… well I’m sure that’s explanatory and that I don’t need to go into detail about that.
And as for Douchebag, he didn’t say a word, he just gave a look of disgust and the “This is retarded” look on his face. Mac continued to gloat to Douchebag, “HA HA HA! I BEAT YOU HARRY! YOU AND YOUR APPLEJACK’S LITTLE PLAN WON’T WORK NOW! AND I’LL DRAIN THE REST OF THE EVER FREE SWAMP TO EXPOSE YOU ALL! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I WON!?”
Douchebag didn’t say a word; he just gave the same look as from before.
Mac continued to then explain and assumed it was a yes cause it was silence, “WELL I’LL TELL YA. YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT THE HOOF HAD TO BE A REAL ONE, JUST A HOOF! But then I wondered, maybe that’s what they’re counting on for me to do. SO I THOUGHT THREE AND A QUARTER STEPS AHEAD AND SHOVED TWO DOWN MY ASSHOLE WHILE TAKING A SHIT AND FORCED A SCIENTIST TO BUILD A MACHINE TO MEET A PARRELL UNIVERSE VERSION OF ME AND TOLD THE SCIENTIST TO TELL HIM TO HOLD UP TWO HOOVES WHILE I’M DOING THIS, AND DOING SOME KIND OF FANCY CALCULATIONS SOME HOW MAKES THIS SOME HOW POSSIBLE… I think… I don’t know, I didn’t see the scientist do it; I just threatened to kill his entire family, extended family, his family of goldfish, his friend’s family, and his friend’s cousins former roommate’s family and just left him to it. BUT I AM SURE HE ALREADY DID IT… or he and everypony that I just mentioned is so fucking dead they won’t be able to count to ten.”
Mac then had wide eyes as he put his head forward a bit as he said that last part. And then there was silence for a few seconds.
After that, Mac went back to his grin and then asked Douchebag all cool like, “So… you’re ready to talk and give me all of Applejack’s information?”
However Douchebag just kept the same face on and said in a groggy tone, “I’m going back to bed now. And when I wake up, you better not still be here.”
Not until however Jupi showed up, as that was when he finally appeared and started causing a ruckus throughout the entire town.
He came in roaring, stomping real loud, and trying to cause as much destruction as possible as he yelled out loud, “SHE TOOK MY KID! I WANT MY SON BACK! THAT FUCKING WHORE BITCH TOOK MY KID AND RAN! I WANT MY FUCKING SON BACK RIGHT NOW!”
And he repeated himself over and over as the red veins reign supreme throughout his eyes. And of course this awoke everyone that was asleep and made everyone running out screaming and yelling in panic as no one was sure what to do in this situation, cause it was a big bear that was really pissed off about his ex wife, who isn’t these days, am I right? Unless the sex with the ex happens, then it’s alright, but it does go into a weird relationship then.
Anyways, this happened and this prompted Douchebag to get out of his cardboard box and to see what was happening as all had wide eyes and was a little scared as to what was happening before them. All the while, everyone was running amuck and panicking in terror, thinking it was the end for them as Jupi was destroying buildings, stomping the ground real hard almost making it feel like a mini earthquake was occurring, and just overall making it a very shitty night for Stalia.
But as Douchebag was watching this unfold, Dog and Tail however were having a little smile on their faces as they looked up to Douchebag.
However Douchebag was too busy looking in terror as to what was happening so Dog then asked Douchebag, “So, what are you waiting for?”
Douchebag, with a very worried look, quickly snapped to Dog and Tails and asked them, “Waiting for what?”
Dog then said, “Well you said earlier that the tie breaker was to kill an User Major. Well here’s your chance to prove how magnificent you really are and to get the one up on Knight! So go ahead and show that bear what you’re made of!”
Douchebag was however scarred instead of brave and eager to show off his talents as he then said to Dog, “Are you fucking kidding me, that thing is going to kill us all!”
He was pointing towards Jupi when he had said that as well as having big eyes that were filled with fear.
Dog and Tail of course looked disappointed and Dog then asked Douchebag, “But I thought you said you could do anything and be the best at everything? I thought that’s why you chose the challenge to kill an User Major because you knew you could do it?”
Douchebag, a bit more calmed down, but rather having a bit of an embarrassing look on his face then said to Dog, “Well not really. I had thought that Knight wouldn’t be crazy enough to go out and find an User Major or that he would go out and get himself killed and that I would automatically would win by forfeit.”
And then Jupi kind of got near them as he stepped a bit too close to them, which then prompted Douchebag to say with wide, fearful eyes, “FUCK THIS SHIT, I’M OUT!”
And then Douchebag tried to run away and get far from Jupi, or at least as far as he could, but he didn’t get too far and just hid behind a nearby building until the whole thing could be sorted hope hopefully. As for Dog and Tails, they ran too, but not Mac.
Mac instead just saw Douchebag run away as he then said to him, yelling more or less as he was running away, “YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER! I’LL FIND THE SWAMP AND I’LL DRAIN IT AND JUSTICE WIL BE SERVED. THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE TURTH ABOUT APPLEJACK AND HER SHADOW GOVERNEMNT AND YOU WON’T STOP ME!”
Of course, Mac was too concerned to being in his own little world to even care about the bear. And so Jupi rampaged through the town, stomping and smashing, with everyone else thinking as to what they were going to do. And then hope finally came in the form of familiar police sirens from a distance. Bright flashing lights appeared from what seemed like out of nowhere as it strobed against the entire town.
And of course this made Jupi stop in his tracks as somewhat big, but not too big, ghostly entities showed up, who also had claws for hands and a ghostly like tail at end of their bodies, showed up. There was two of them that was near Jupi when this happened and they both had police badges and caps on that read “EFPD” as they both talked in a sort of half Irish, half stereotypical cop sound.
One of the ghostly figures held up a taser to Jupi, and for reference they were like half the size of Jupi, and said to him, “THIS IS THE EVEFREE POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU’RE SURROUNDED!”
Meanwhile I was back in Stalia, walking alongside another ghostly entity cop that was floating right beside me as we were walking and talking. And keep in mind, Neon, Jack, and Forrest was there in the middle town of course as they too heard all of the ruckus, and we all sort of just headed up where Mac was in a sense. I know it’s weird and sudden but that’s how it all went down.
Anyways, I was talking to the ghost cop, “So there’s a whole police force for the Everfree Forest?”
I had said this while walking and talking with the ghost cop as I was sort of looking up at him while doing so.
The ghost cop responded to me with, “Well it’s not the entire forest. You see on your side of the Everfree, we live in a civilized society. Ponyville’s half, we just call that the other side of the tracks, only filled with a bunch of animals on that side. But yup, we try to keep the peace, even on your guy’s side if we have to, but only if it’s within our jurisdiction, which it is this time I’m afraid.”
I then responded to him with, “Huh, never thought of that.”
And then I saw the other guys who were surprised to see these ghostly figures to begin with as they just stared at the both of us as I then said to him, “Oh hi guys, what’s up?”
To briefly explain what happened back at the caves, as soon as Jupi left, the Everfree Cops showed up. But thankfully I explained to them what happened and I led them back to town. And now here we are.
So back to what was happening with Jupi, Jupi of course was not having any of it as he then yelled back at the two ghost cops, “FUCK YOU, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I PAID MY FUCKING WHORE OF A WIFE THAT TOOK MY KID EVERYTHING THAT I OWED HER!”
The one ghost cop that was holding up the taser then said to him, “That ain’t it chief.”
He then proceeded to pull out a piece of paper and looked at it with one of his claw hands.
He then said, “It reads here that you haven’t been reporting to your probation officer since last week. So we have a warrant for your arrest.”
Jupi then said to them, “FUCK YOU PIGS, YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!”
And then Jupi tried to run away, but then the ghost cop with the taser pulled the trigger and hit him real hard as Jupi just spazed out for a bit and then hit the ground hard, only just barely missing a building filled with other ponies living in it. He also had his tongue sticking out afterwards.
And so after that was all said and done, the ghost cop that I was talking to then said to me, “Well it looks like our job here is done. Sorry to mess with your folk’s night.”
And Neon then walked up near him and started poking at his ghostly body, the bottom portion of course. And all the ghost cop did was give him the stink eye as Neon said, “Squishy just like the dead people that I put in the creek the other day.”
And after that, you’d think it would be done, but it wasn’t as Douchebag happened to be nearby and he appeared to be very nervous when the ghost cops arrived.
So douchebag took a big gulp, put on a big nervous smile and said to all of us, “Well would you look at the time, it seems like I have already spent a lot of time in Stalia. I’ve got other shows to perform at so I guess I’ll just be on my way. I guess you’re the winner here Knight, you’re magnificent and I am not, well, got to go!”
He quickly waved his right hoof on in the air as he had said that last bit and was about to run off, but right before he even could get a feet in, the ghost cop with the taser then stopped him while holding up another piece of paper and going towards him, “Not so fast there buddy. We’ve been looking for ya.”
Douchebag’s nervous smile quickly turned into a scared and worried look as he started to sweat a bit as he was looking at the ghost cop.
The ghost cop with the taser continued to say to him, “It says here you are wanted for charges of fraud. Witnesses say you were conning them back in the Everfree, clamming you were magnificent. But the testimony that they all gave us said that it was all a hoax and that the spells you cast were only of illusions, so you’re being brought up on charges of false advertisement. We also pulled your records and your name isn’t Harry, It says here it’s Big Douchebag.”
The other ghost cop then got near Douchebag to be ready to cuff him, but before he did, Douchebag then said, “Well, that was just my birth name. I was going to change it in the Everfree Court later...”
He had a little nervous smile on his face, but that soon changed as it changed back into a sort of pissed off but also scared look as the ghost cop with the taser then said to him, “It also says here that you’re being also charged with voter fraud, an Everfree Federal Offense. Apparently you tampered with the recent Everfree election and that you tampered with the ballots, fudging the numbers for one candidate over the other”
Douchebag was quickly to explain to them, “YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT IN COURT! T- THERE WAS NO EVIDENCE OF FRAUD!”
Then the ghost cop with the taser then said to Douchebag, “Eyup, that’s what all the crazies say. Book em’ Dan.”
Dan the ghost cop then put some iron made cuffs on Douchebag’s front hooves so he couldn’t run away so easily. And he looked entirely pissed, especially towards me.
As the cop with the taser was picking up Jupi and the ghost cop that was pushing Douchebag to move it along towards the Everfree Forest, he was giving me the stink eye for sure this time as he was mighty pissed at me.
He said as he was being hulled off to Everfree Prison, “YOU DID THIS DIDN’T YOU KNIGHT!? YOU LEAD THE COPS RIGHT HERE TO ARREST ME! YOU DID THIS AND YOU KNEW IT TOO DIDN’T YOU KNIGHT!? I SWEAR I’LL GET OUT OF PRISON KNIGHT! AND ONCE I DO, I’LL BE COMING FOR YOU! I WON’T FORGET THIS!”
Dan the ghost cop just said to Douchebag as he was pushing him along, “Yeah yeah, save it for the judge their buddy. Where you’re going, you’re not going to be out for a long time. You’ll have a lot of thinking to do. But don’t worry; maybe your little bear friend over there is going to be your new roommate.”
And then as the two ghost cops were hulling off the two crooks over to the Everfree to be put in front f the judge to stand trial, the other ghost cop that I was talking to said to me as he tipped his police cap, “Well sorry to bother you fine folks. We would have gotten here a lot sooner but we were stopped cause we saw a zebra.”
Forrest then asked him kindly with a little smile, “Oh, so a zebra lost their way into the forest so you had to try and show them the way out? How kind of you guys!”
The ghost cop then said, “What? Of course not, we just beat it to a bloody pulp like we always do. Well good night!”
Forrest’s smile quickly disappeared. The ghost cop had said that with a big smile and left to go back into the woods.
And so that was pretty much the end of everything, although the entire town of Stalia was still left with the destruction. And before I could call it a night, Wolf happened to come out and asked with a little dirty smile on his face, “Woah, what happened here, did Forest get laid or something?”
Jack then spoke up and said, “Nope, Forrest will always be a virgin and will always be beaten for that.”
Forrest then asked Jack, “Really?”
Jack then said to him, “Well that and more.”
And then Forrest made a little whimpering sound to go along with it as well. However I just stood there and said to Wolf, “What Jack meant to say was that it turned out Douchebag’s real name was douchebag, meddled in some election in the Everfree that you may or may not have known about. And the User Major just turned out to be some lonely bastard who lost his kid and tried to kill everyone as a way of coping cause he didn’t get his medication or some shit, I don’t know.”
Wolf then had a little smile on and he then said, “Wow, so I guess that makes you’re the magnificent one.”
I then said to Wolf in a cynical way, “I don’t want that title… ever…”
Wolf then said to him, “Well then, you’re going to take a letter to Celestia or what?”
I wasn’t planning on to, but I decided after everything, fuck it, why not? So I then said to Wolf in a painful voice, “Sure….”
Wolf then said to me, “Hold on, give me a sec…”
Wolf turned his head upward as usual and then gagged a bit and then up chucked some writing paper and a quill. I then grabbed both with my magic and started to write my letter to Celestia.
Dear Celestia,
Today I learned that you shouldn’t be a douchebag. A giant, big douchebag at that or else you’ll end up being some bastard that gloats at everyone at being better than them as well as being right. However self righteousness does not equate to good character, let alone a good friendship. All it leads to is an inflated ego that ends up getting you into trouble with the Everfree Police for being a fraud as well as somehow committing fraud in an election as well. I’m not sure how the election fraud fits into here, all I know is that I found out about an election in the Everfree Free and that it was tampered with by no other than a pony named Harry, who turned out to be a Douchebag. And that is why you shouldn’t be a Douchebag as you’ll just end up having the name Douchebag and potentially being raped in prison by a giant bear. Oh and uhh, don’t be a douchebag because no friends want a Douchebag in their group.
Sincerely,
Knight
P.S. Send me more bits because Wolf keeps fucking wasting it all. I’ll promise to never pay you back.
And that was the letter that I wrote. I then silently gave it to Wolf, he took it, breathed the little green fire and sent it to Celestia, and yes, that’s all the fire does, send shit to her. And after a few seconds of silence between the two of us as the crickets were chirping in the background and the other guys were just staring at the two of us.
Wolf then asked me, “So you think the Universe will have Celestia see that or…”
I then said to him, “The Universe is going to let Celestia see what it wants Celestia to see. Doesn’t hurt to try though, even though you know you die on the inside because of it. Sometimes it’s just better to embrace the struggle instead of resisting it Wolf, you’ll go out better that way when the day that sweet, sweet death comes for you.”
And then we stood there in silence for a few more seconds. And then out of nowhere those three ponies from the 80’s came from out of nowhere, with the other guys not really reacting much to it, although Forrest did have wide eyes so it wasn’t just me who saw them. Anyways, the three ponies that looked like they were from the 80’s showed up. They all surrounded me.
The one that looked less hot and was near me from before said to me, “I knew you could do it Knight.”
Then the stallion one said to me, “Yeah way to go bud!”
And then the hot looking one that was near Douchebag from earlier then said to me as she was trying to come on to me, “I don’t care about HIM anymore. I want to date you instead.”
I was not amused and instead had a very cynical look on my face as I just said to all of the guys, “I’m going to fucking bed now.”
And with that being said, I walked off, and there was only a few seconds. But not before Mac was doing something in the background when I wasn’t looking as he had made another hoof to tape to the other one that he had on his left hoof.
He then yelled out in eagerness as he raised his left arm as the others looked over, with a weirded out look on their face, “Look at me now guys, I’m holding up three hooves now and five hooves in my asshole! Woo Hoo!”
And that was the end of that little bit Yup, that was it, and I fucking knew it would. Wolf and I even betted on it, which means I fucking win, and he would owe me 20 bits.
Seriously, earlier while we were high, we betted on how the day would end, and I was right. I mean I wish I wasn’t sometimes, but I was right… although he never gave me those 20 bits… but he would though if he could be trusted with money. Well, that was it, until next time… The End…
………………
Oh and before I forget, I should mention what happened with Arrell. You see while this was all going on back in town, Arrell was still stuck up in the tree, hanging upside down. And he was starting to lose it after being upside down for a bit.
It was in the middle of the night and Arrell was just swaying a bit side to side like, and he said he as he was trying to stay up and not die to being upside down for so long, “Uhhh… Knight!? Neon!? Forrest!? Jack!? Mac? Anypony there? Anypony out there! Ohhh… I’m starting to feel a little woozie. Quick… Asshat, try to let go and find some help for me… please…”
And Asshat, who was still clinging on and was hanging upside down with Arrell this entire time, fell off and hit the ground flat on his face like a dead weight. Granted he was still alive and breathing, but was just knocked out unconscious.
And so that made Arrell say, “Fuck.”
And that was that. I mean eventually he got down of course, but who cares.
So, I’m about to talk about episode seven, which was Dragonshy.
Yea, so this is what happened.
Arrell, was taking care of his animals. He was making sure they were fed, bathed, and made sure was in perfect health. He even made sure that they were breeding correctly.
He had almost lost all of his animals when Mac came to help. Yea, if you recall that incident where Mac breaded the wrong animals, I’m surprised, because I’m trying to forget what I had saw.
Let me tell you the results of those animals that were breaded wrong. The animals were hybrids. They were an abomination, and a law against nature.
We had put the hybrid animals down, because somehow, they were saying kill me. As in, they were experiencing pain. I don’t know how they even talked, but still. It took Arrell awhile to get fix the huge mistake that Mac did to his animals, so he had hunt for others.
In addition, when I mean hunt, I mean still other ponies animals. While he did that, he also put a ransom, but of course, he wasn’t going to give it back. I do have to admit, that was good idea, since he was taking the animals and all.
I also thought, “and he is supposed to be an element of whatever we are. Then again, I fucking smoke weed, while drinking beer at the same time. We put an unborn fetus in our neighbors mailbox, killed other ponies animals, stealing dead bodies, and making shit that’s against nature’s laws.”
So, anyway, he was feeding his bunny pet, I believe he named it Asshat.
Not kidding. Although, I do recall the bunny had two nicknames, which were H and demon. Since I find Asshat to be a funny name, I’m fucking writing this story, and you’re not, I’ll be calling him Asshat. However, if you don’t want to call him that and want to call him by nickname, then just pretend Asshat isn’t there and pretend H or Demon is there.
So, Arrell was making sure Asshat was safe, but Asshat tried to run away from him. Arrell tried to stop him, but Asshat pointed to the mountain that was from episode 7.
Then Arrell and Asshat knew what was going on. He saw smoke, and he could smell it, because for some odd reason, it came near him, but not the other ponies.
He smelt it and it smelt familiar to him. It was weed and crack smell when smoked. Apparently, before Arrell met the other guys, him and Asshat went on some random not so great adventures together. One of them is by stealing drugs from a dragon.
Not kidding you.
There existed a dragon that did crack, and weed. Ok, maybe I’m going a little over board there, because he wasn’t the only dragon that even did drugs. The other dragons did dragon shit. Which was eat, sleep, and shit. Besides, if you recall the crackle dragon, whom I believe that was on heroin, this dragon was its cousin. Moreover, no, it did not look like him, but had gold bling around its neck, with apparently a giant fucking backwards cap.
I don’t know where that fucking dragon got it from, but ok then.
so, Arrell and Asshat were afraid that the dragon will come back for revenge, but didn’t want to feel guilty of leaving us all behind, because of he did, our souls would haunt him for the rest of his life. Well, just me anyway.
Therefore, he went to the park, where most ponies were. Well, of course he couldn’t say a dragon that he pissed off years ago is coming back for revenge because he stole crack from him.
Therefore, he decided to say flying spaghetti monster, purple pony eaters, and flying aids and cancer was coming to attack the town. When I heard this, I thought how much of a fucking dumbass he is, because that is fucking impossible.
Although, if there was a flying spaghetti monster that was coming here, I will have to give those crazy fucking basturds that practice the flying spaghetti religion.
I’m not kidding you. There is such a religion.
If you don’t believe me, look it up. Trust me; I was even shocked when I heard about it.
So anyway, while Arrell was doing that, I was chilling at home, with me smoking weed while drinking beer, while wolf was passed out from drinking too many tequilas.
He drank about seven bottles full. Each bottle was a litter full to be exact.
What he was trying to do was beat my record, which was at eight tequila bottles, along with five vodka bottles, and three regular beers.
Yea, I’m a champion. Well, as I was saying, I was chilling, and Wolf woke up, and spitted out a letter from Celestia. I opened it up, and guess what it read.
Dear Knight, I have gotten word that a dragon has appeared near you and Twilight’s hometown. I would send Twilight and her friends to fix the problem. They did a good job last time when this happened, however, the Elements of Harmony are busy now. I am writing this letter to ask you and your friends to take care of the problem. I would go too, however, I am a little caught up at the moment. I hope you understand. I have given you all the information that I have about dragons along with this letter. From your teacher, Princess Celestia
Well, what else can I fucking say? She’s being a Trollestia again. I mean being caught up at the moment.
“Right”.
Yea, I’ll believe you, when I see a fucking pony fucking a monkey out in the middle of the fucking streets, while cats and dogs are battling to the death, bunnies killing ponies and humping bees at the same time, and I somehow become an Alicorn, but with rainbows coming out of my ass when I ever fly. While at the same time, have birds humping frogs, while giant fucking ass robots comes to invade, while fighting pop tarts in the sky with bears on unicycles with ak-47’s and a RPG. That’s when I’ll believe you, because that’s telling me that the world is ending.
As for the elements, I don’t know what to say about that one. I mean, Twilight could be doing something very important with her friends.
Yea. I’m actually being nice here for once, and being understandable.
Not that I’m saying I never was, but, since history is repeating itself for me, I might as well do whatever the fuck I want. Of course, I didn’t give two shits and a flaming fuck. I wasn’t going to tell anypony about this and if they did, then they would fucking died.
I didn’t give a fuck, especially since I was high and all. However, the universe was a step ahead of me, and I was then randomly teleported to the park, along with Wolf.
We were randomly teleported and I just feel like the universe is my enemy now.
Oh well, that’s what happens in life.
That or I can have the universe as my friend, by doing what it wants me to do. I mean, I am a Brony and I’m the only one who ever experienced that every Brony dreams of doing. Being in Equestria. That and meeting the elements of harmony and princess Celestia and Luna. Not only that, but relieving what Twilight and her friends experienced. Therefore, I should shut the fuck up, and enjoy this life I have. Besides, I really shouldn’t be mad at Celestia at all and should thank her for giving me this type of life. I mean, love and tolerance. What the fuck am I writing!?
Yea, fuck it. I’ll continue to be a jackass, resist the universe, continue to hate Celestia, although I never really do hate her, I just see her as a troll, but other than that. I really don’t hate her.
That and I’m going to continue to continue whatever the fuck I’m doing.
Although, I’m pretty sure at a point in time, this will all stop, and basically everything will fall, and I will have no hope left. Besides, everything must end one day. Even immortals have to die some time, right?
Well, as I was there in the park, I yelled out to every fucking pony that was there, that, “every fucking pony listen up! There’s a fucking dragon, and I’m informed by Trollestia, that me and my friends, who basically have problems that I’m worried about, have to take care of this problem. So yea, you ponies are all doomed and might have to move to another town.” That was what I fucking said. Although, one pony did say he thought it was flying aids and cancer that was attacking.
Fucking idiot.
The thing is that Arrell said, no pony even heard him.
Now, as for the universe thing, well, nopony noticed that I fucking said Trollestia, nor did any one hear me say the word fuck, along with they are doomed and the problem with my friends. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me give you a hint.
Neon has a problem with wanting to burn everything. Mac has a sick mind and hates his cousin. Arrell does random shit that I will never understand. Forest fire is an idiot sometimes because sometimes he thinks he can do jackass related shit. Although, other than that with forest, him and classy jack seems to be the ones with no mental problems at all.
At least that’s what I thought at the time.
Yea, I jinxed it.
There is something wrong with them. Then again, there’s something with me too. I have a drinking and smoking problem. Then again, I don’t give a fuck.
That and Wolf, I really don’t understand him. he’s sick, but yet, random, but at the same time, he’s cool and fun to hang out with. Then again, he is a Troll sometimes. Whatever.
Well, I told Wolf to gather all of my friends to my house, so we could discuss our plans to get the dragon off the fucking mountain. When Wolf did that, all of my friends were at my house.
Well, we then discussed what we had to do. We had to convince him to get off and take his sleep somewhere else. Yea, I never had a plan for this. The thing is, I know very little about dragons in this universe. I mean, I came across dragons before in other universes before.
In fact, I came across them in three different universes. A universe that needed me, Factory dash, and Tk’s help. Not a dragon problem, but another problem, which is a story for another time.
I know I have all these stories, but really, I just want to stick to one thing, and I’ll get to the others another time.
Therefore, there was also a dragon universe, and another universe that had a space dragon. If you don’t believe that, then think about this.
If you are aware about the muiltiuniverse theory, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s about how there’s an infinite amount of universes that is like the same universe, but is very different.
For example, take earth. Say you have a choice between fucking a chick or fucking a donkey. Well, let’s say you decide to fuck the donkey. Well, there’s another universe where you fucked the chick instead of the donkey. Also, the universe where you fucked the chick could be in a country where there is communism or nationalism, or everything is the same that you know of, but that’s the only difference.
There trillion upon trillions of universes like that.
Anyway, as I was saying about the dragon plan, we were all going to go up the mountain to get him to move.
Although, Arrell was afraid because he was afraid the dragon was going to remember him, and kill him.
Well, my friends left to get prepared. If you remember in the episode where the element s did that A –team shit. Well, we did that as well. I’m also surprised that we didn’t do anything B-team related.
So, Forest just put set something on fire, and put that little fire colors on his cheek. Classy jack pretty much looked classy or modern classy as I call it, but was prepared to fight. Mac, well, he just grabbed a bat, as an American would.
I really don’t know here, I mean, this is like what they have to prepare themselves with. I mean of course they have other shit, but this shit seems to be the only interesting thing they had with them.
Let’s see, Neon brought crazy shit by defying all laws of physics, along with fire. I brought along, well nothing expect for my wits and skills I acquired when TK trained me.
In addition, Arrell brought along Asshat, because they figured they had to face their demons, and they’re actually were right on that. In fact, with all the shit that happened to me in the past, I will too have to face those demons.
Yea, even though I’m writing this way in the eh future from the time period my life is taking place, I still haven’t faced my demons yet. I mean, we all have to at one point in our lives, right.
Well, we all then headed for the mountain, and started climbing.
No wait, we started walking up the mountain. How the fuck do you walk up a mountain?
I remember in the episode, the Mane six just walked up wards on the mountain side. How the fuck is that even possible. Then again, they did have Pinkie Pie and we do have Neon Party. I guess that makes sense with breaking the laws of physics and all that shit.
Well, then everybody started to joke around and I was pissed as fuck. I was not in the fucking mood to fucking talk, nor hear a fucking conversation from these psychopaths.
I know I’m going a little over board by calling them psychopaths, but they almost seem like psychopaths to me.
So, I then said to them to shut the fuck up, so we could get this over with so we could go home. I was really starting to get tired of the universe making me do shit. So, then everybody did what I said.
Then they started to ask what the dragon will be like. To shut them up, I asked Arrell since he was an animal guy and all. I mean, I knew what the dragon would look like, but I would let a professional explain it, then a pony that just smoke weed and drinks beer all day long.
Well, Arrell was shivering, and lied about knowing the dragon. He said he wouldn’t know, because he never saw one in his life.
Yea, bullshit.
You see, whenever we hang out at the bar, we tell stories. One of those stories we remember as a group, is Arrell seeing and went up to a dragon. He was bragging about how cool he is, because he saw fucking a dragon.
That also got me thinking.
Did the dragon ever tried to kill him where his kind is in no contact, or in fucking space!? Yea didn’t think so.
In addition, Arrell didn’t even start to climb the mountain yet.
He lied, on how he wasn’t a good climber. Then Forest mentioned, he’s a fucking Pegasus. Why not just fly. I mean, even Forest knew that Arrell was an excellent flyer. Well, he refused to go.
Now, Mac was going to make an alternate route for him, but I said, “fuck no, we’re taking him along if he likes it or not.”
What I did was grab some rope Mac had and tied him up and dragged him along the trail. Yea, I just dragged him and he didn’t even fight back. Then again, I guess he was thinking about he had to face his demons one way or another, so he was just letting it happen.
In addition, we bypassed all the obstacles that the Mane six had to do in the episode. I mean we bypassed everything. We just took a short cut, and within an hour or so, we got to the mouth of the cave.
I also wondered, did this cave have a off the grid portal. I mean the portals to off the grid areas pop up in the most isolated of places. In other words, place where there is no human at all. Where animals will not get harmed, or disturbed.
We then all looked into the cave, looking at what we had to face.
I then said to everyone, “listen up. We are dealing with a dragon that does not play nice. What we are going to do is get him out of his sleep and get him to move somewhere else. We might be small ponies to him. But to us, we are more than that. If we stick together, we can be strong. If we all attack at once, we then can get this over within less than an hour. So let’s go in there and show him he fucked with the wrong town.”
Just to let you know, back before I was in the official MLP universe, I was like this. You see, back in with my generation one team. Yea that’s what I call the team. Well, before we go into battle, mostly with TF, I would give my team a quick speech on what they would be facing and what to do as a team. It worked pretty well and I was suspecting that here too.
Well, all my friends agreed, and they didn’t hear a single word that I said. What I mean by that is, they all went individually. What did I say five seconds ago? I said to stick together, because if a team sticks together, a team will be strong, because everybody is a support. If a team went there separate ways, then the team would fall apart because there would be no one to support the individual.
Therefore, that happened. So, what happened next was Neon going inside first.
I then thought, he was one brave stallion to go and fight that dragon by himself. Then I remembered he breaks laws of Physics.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to beat the dragon, and the dragon beat his fucking ass. He then crashed into one of the rock outside of the cave.
Then Forest thought he was being all though and shit and went to face the dragon himself. Then he came flying out on fire, because the dragon set him on fire.
Strange.
I know he can do the sonic fire boom (I’ll tell you later about it), which means it’s like the sonic rainboom, but has fire instead of rainbow colors.
Yea, Forest gave up quickly.
Now, unbelievably, I thought Mac could fight the dragon, since he reminds me of a southern redneck and all that shit. Well, he was knocked out.
Up next was jack, but of course he failed as well. I then decided to step up to the plate and went into the cave.
Of course I could’ve just easily killed the dragon, but unfortunately, this is Equestria, and like I said before in the past, that ponies don’t really kill one another or things for that matter.
Believe it or not, that’s how I want to live life. In peace, where I didn’t have to kill nobody, but this is what happened to me. As for the dragon thing, yea, I got my ass kicked.
Of course.
It’s because I couldn’t just simply kill him, which I do have plenty of weapons to kill him with, but like I said, ponies don’t really kill living things.
Then to my surprised, I saw Arrell talking to Asshat and saying how they must go to face their demons. I then saw Arrell and Asshat go inside the cave.
From what I’ve recalled, arrell went up to the dragon and the dragon regocnized him.
the dragon was really fucking pissed at him for stealing his crack.
I wondered how much crack did he stole from him. From what I had gathered, it was only one hundred thousand tons of it and Arrell and Asshat snorted it all within a day or two. What the fuck. How did they not die is beyond me.
Well, Arrell said he was sorry and said fuck off and go to another mountain.
Then the dragon got up and moved to a mountain that wouldn’t effect anypony.
What the FUCK!?
That’s all we had to do was go up and tell him to leave. It’s like going on this trip was fucking worthless.
However, I did gain something on the trip, and that was a lesson learned. Yea, I actually learned something. It’s that you have to face your demons head on, and you cannot run away from your past. It will eventually find you someday.
When I got home, I thought I never would’ve done this, but I actually wrote a legit letter to Celestia this time, instead of using the fake letter I pre-made. Even Wolf was surprised I was doing this as well.
Dear Celestia, Today, I did not learn anything about friendship at all. However, I did learn something that is a lesson for life. I learned that you cannot run away from your past. The past will always follow you wherever you will go in life. If you had troubles in your past and tried to run away from it, you just have to face those demons head on. Even facing your demons yourself and not have anyone else do it has its awards too. I’m sorry if you were inspecting a friendship later, but I have to be honest, that I did not learn anything at all about friendship. Instead, I learned something that will continue to stick to my life forever. Your faithful student, Knight
And guess what I got in return.
Dear my faithful student, I was suspecting a friendship letter from you. However, the lesson you had learned even taught me. It is true that you can never run from your past. I even experienced that with Luna. I wanted to run away from it all, but I knew Luna would return with anger, but what I should have done, was confronted her myself instead of sending the elements of harmony. Therefore, this lesson you learned is just good as a friendship letter. I believe what you have learned will always stick with you for life. Your teacher, Celestia
I was happy about that letter.
I’m serious.
I really did learn something and for the first time, I was actually happy I was here
P.S. also, to just let you know, I never learned anything from the past days that I was there. There was didly dick.
If you’re afraid I’m going to turn into a softy here, yea I’m not done yet. I just learned something for once in my life that was meaningful to me.
In addition, I fucking got that son of a bitch. I knew Celestia was a Trollestia. She would’ve confronted Nightmare moon herself, but instead, send someone else to do it! Fuck you universe! I’ve finally got proof she is a Troll! Knight one, Universe, 87. Yea, I suck, don’t I?
Well, after the events of yesterday, which was the dragon thing, I decided to relax and smoke weed and beer(that’s right, smoking beer.) I did it because I deserved it for learning a lesson about life. Yea, you could tell I was fucking high that day. Well, Wolf was being a lazy fuck as well, and was sleeping on the couch. When I’m high or Wolf is, we usually joke around that make jokes that would offend people back on earth. Hey, the way I see it, that if a simple joke easily offends you, then you’re just basically taking the fun out of things to where no can have fun. Besides, if a joke offends you, just laugh along with it. I mean, you’ll be able to make a joke about the person that offended you one day, but you know, that’s my fucking opinion and all that shit.
By the way, why am I talking about this stuff? I should talk about my story, not to give a speech and shit.
Well, since my friends were tired out from yesterday and Wolf was being a lazy fucker, I decided to go out for a walk through Stalia. I was walking along the edges of the town, and I came across a pony that looked nervous and had a dark coat along with a red mane.
It was as if he was afraid to go into the town of Stalia. I then walked up to him and he even flinched. At the time, I was wondering if he had cancer, but I then thought that was silly of me to think that. It obviously meant he had aids. Maybe malaria as well, but I don’t think he went to the land of the zebras.
Well, I then asked him who he was and his name was Dark. Really. You can just tell this isn’t going to end well. I mean it’s a cool name for a pony and all, but it usually means something bad.
To be honest, I rather felt bad for him, so I asked if he had any friends. He said no and I offered to be a friend to him, and he hesitated a little at it, but he kindly accepted my offer.
Well, then I asked if he had anyplace to crash for the night and he said no. of course, I started to feel like he didn’t have aids and malaria, but he was a fucking hobo.
Great.
I mean along, as he didn’t try to give me aids, I would be fine helping him.
Well, I took him to my home and offered him the guess bedroom. He then said, “Room?”
it’s like he isn’t from this universe, but don’t worry, I checked his DNA. He belonged in this universe. Now if you’re wondering how the fuck DNA can tell of one’s universe, just trust me. There is a way to do it, but you would have to go deep within the DNA strands. In other words, that thing from Jurassic park. To be more specific, the little cartoon that showed during one of the tours. Moreover, no, it wasn’t the gay DNA guy or whatever the fuck that thing was.
Well, the next morning, I showed him to my friends and my friends were accepting to him of course. I mean, they were ponies and didn’t judge because he sounded white.
I know that sounded wrong and offensive, but that’s the cold harsh truth behind my friends. In addition, to let you know, they weren’t racists. In fact, I have no fucking clue what they were. I’m more confused then you are right now as the moment you are reading this.
Anyway, I left Dark to hang out with my friends, while I do a little business. Moreover, when I mean by business, I mean by getting high and shit.
Well, I was about to light my weed, when Wolf got a letter from Twilight, that she was coming over to check up on me. Yea, from now and then, she used to check up on me and my learning of friendship. I’m just surprised she wasn’t here for the past events.
You know, the griffin that was an asshole to me, Doucebag, Mac fucking everything up, Neon wanting to burn everything, my friends somehow keep finding a way to get into my house event tough its locked(which by the way, they decided at complete random to come to my house. Maybe they decided they stole enough from me, because I was missing some shit, until I found out they were hiding in a dead body. Don’t ask how it got there.) Then there was Spike raping her and let’s not forget Neon defying all laws of fucking physics.
I still get a shiver when I ever think about Neon breaking the laws of physics. It just creeps me out, like he’s slenderman or Jeff the killer or something. Maybe he his, but in disguise as a pony.
Nope, couldn’t be. He got the aids and it cured itself. Along with diabetes.
Well, it didn’t take Twilight too long to come to my house and she was pleased with my work. Now, I have no idea what she means by work. I mean, if it’s how well I’m with my friends, then that’s not work. I mean, they decided to be my friends, after Celestia’s evil clone tried to kill us all and we had to use the elements, which I’m still unsure what the fuck the elements are.
I mean, what the fuck do they represent? I know you don’t know, but trust me, it doesn’t make any sense.
Well, Twilight was about to leave, until Dark came through the door. She then looked at me with a shocked expression on her face.
She said we had to have a little private talk.
I then thought, “Is she hitting on me.” I mean she’s nice and all, but I don’t really go for unicorns and more for pegaisi. That and I don’t believe in love as I said before.
Well, fortunately for me, she wasn’t doing that, although, one time when I visited her place, I snooped around her place, and found some of her personal notes, or more like a diary and it had something to with me and something with love. I even saw a heart shape with K+T inside it.
That can’t be good.
Yea, it gets more fucked up later on. Trust me. I mean, when I saw this, although it was later on, like after season 1 repeated itself, that I found these, but it seems that Twilight had the hots for me.
Fuck.
Yea, to give you a heads up, this would also make this story even better and all, which Twilight has, a crush on me. Oh boy, this will be good for the story and possibly keep you guys interested in it, other than walking away from it, and either burning it from the boredom or how you just simply down right down like the story of my life, or just is really tired of the repetitiveness of the curse words.
Well, hey, that’s just me.
Well then, moving on. She told me how surprised she was how I didn’t contact her sooner.
I asked why and she said, “Didn’t you remember from the meetings?”
I asked what meetings and she said the ones in the letters. Yea, the thing is, Celestia made me part of her group that includes Luna and Twilight, that discusses the problems. Don’t ask me why she included me because I have no fucking clue why, because it seems to be an Alicorn business and I wasn’t one. Then again, maybe she was hinting at me of becoming one in the future. Then again, I was being tested and so far, I was passing.
At the time, it was fucking confusing.
I also didn’t know about the meetings because; like I said before, I never opened mail from Celestia. I never trust a troll. I even have some experience from that from Wolf whenever he trolls me.
So, moving on. Twilight explained to me everything about Dark. So heres the thing.
Apparently Dark was a criminal to Equestria. However, no pony knew this except Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and supposedly me, but since I didn’t give a single fuck about going to the meetings, I knew jackshit.
To be honest, I really don’t give a flaming fuck about anything Cantorlot related and shit.
well, I looked at Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, and about the same thing 21 more fucking times and I’m not exaggerating that either.
Of course, Twilight saw me do this, and she slapped me. What a fucking rude bicth! She then yelled my name, and told me to get fucking sense or whatever the fuck I was supposed to do.
Well then, I then told Twilight how I don’t see her point of view of things. I mean, he didn’t hurt a fly.
However, just as I said it, he hurts an old woman, and for some odd reason, starts fucking a snail, a turtle, and about 20 fucking bees within 10 seconds flat. Luckily, Twilight didn’t see any of this. Then again, Wolf somewhat does something like that almost every day.
Hurting ponies, not the fucking part. Although, I think he secretly fucks some Everfree forest animals, but I have no fucking clue what’s so ever.
Well, then, moving on. I then told Twilight, I can prove her that Dark isn’t bad as she says, and he changed. I mean, he was nervous when I first met him. However, for some odd reason, I can’t stop thinking about when he hurt an old lady and fucked those animals within 10 seconds.
I mean, just imagine it.
In addition, if I got you to think about it and got a sick picture in your head, apparently my job here is done and I won the fucking bet against Wolf. Now he owes me 50 bits. That bitch.
Now, if you’re liking the thought, then you’re a sick bastard and go fuck yourself.
Therefore, I told Dark to go back to my friends, so I could show Twilight how well he’s with my friends and shit.
Of course, he asked why, and then out of fucking nowhere, Wolf comes running in with a fucking whip and saying tidy mow! Then Dark went with my friends.
I later asked where Wolf got the whip from, and apparently, Wolf went to the Official princess Molestia universe, and stole the whip from her. That and he did it with Molestia.
Now, I remember the tumbler page, and I’m starting to wonder and get scared.
Now, a little quick story here.
Wolf told molestia about the portals, and guess what she did. she came to this universe, and went up to my room, and well, let’s just say I have no idea if I’m supposed to be happy or scared at this point.
What happened to me was I was sleeping a good dream about beer and weed that I was on a planet full of it. Then Molestia woke me up, tied me down, or should I say forced me and did me.
Yes.
She molested me for the whole night. In addition, strangely enough, Wolf said, “can we have a threesome.”
I was so shocked at Wolf, but then again, he told me he enjoyed Molestia’s company, but it’s a threesome. Including me. I didn’t feel like doing a wolf like creature that’s made of wood. Instead, Molestia said no(thank my Celestia), and she continued to molest me.
Now, I have to admit, as much as that JackTHerbert guy on You tube who does the jack reacts shit, and how he wouldn’t want to get molested. It felt somewhat good. Now I’m ashamed of writhing this down, but really it felt good, but at the same time I’m scared of her coming back for round two. By the way, she did come back, but she came back for Wolf, but she did me a few times tough.
It just means I’m not a virgin anymore. Yay for me.
So, getting back to the story. Sorry for that as well, but let’s continue. So, Dark was good with my friends and shit, but Twilight wasn’t convinced.
Well, the next thing I did was go around town and asking other ponies of what they think about Dark. Now, I know it’s only been a day, but Stalia is like ponyville, except the gender population evens out equally.
I mean ponyville had a gender imbalance, that there were more mares then stallions, but in Stalia, it even out perfectly, but now there’s more mares in Stalia, and now there’s perks of being a stallion now in Stalia.
So yea. Well, Twilight still wasn’t convinced after the ponies said they liked him and he was a good pony.
That fucking bicth.
After all the things, I did for her. Then again, what did I do for her?
Well, whatever.
So next thing I did was go talk to the old woman pony that got hurt by Dark. I know it was a stupid Idea, but what else there was to prove to Twilight? Well, luck was on my side, because apparently the old mare liked it, and had a little dark side to her and asked Dark for more pain.
We all then slowly backed away, and somehow, that convinced Twilight. I have no idea why that convinced her, but ok then. Well, what happened next, my friends, Dark, and me, along with Twilight and Wolf, went back to my house. Twilight would keep this secret and Dark spoke up. He said he thanked me for being his friend, and offered me to come with him.
I asked what the fuck are you talking about?
He then slowly rose into the air like a fucking possessed fucker would, and wind started coming through my home.
He then said, “Join me Knight. And we will rule Equestria as friend and friend. Let the magic of friendship do something for us!”
first, I don’t know where he got the first line at all. Second, the second line seemed what the fuck?
Therefore, I then became a softy again, and told him he was better than this. Then out of nowhere, and everyone in the room wondered as well where it came from, that sad music started to pop up.
Then Dark had a serious, nervous look on his face. He then disappeared, where I have no fucking clue where he went. Now, if you somehow like Dark at this point, don’t worry, I eventually found him, and we’ll get to that later. So yea. More random shit happened that day. Just like every day for me.
Episode 13: Look before You Sleep, There Might Be A William Defoe Under Your Bed
Jack and Mac, hehe that somewhat rhymes, were outside for some reason. Jack was out, trying to get inspired for more of his work, by nature. Mac was doing god knows what. I mean, he’s a southern red neck, so he does whatever the fuck he wants to.
Well, from what I know, Jack was staring at a branch. Either he was trying to get inspired for his work, or he was having naughty thoughts about fucking the tree, much as Fluttershy did in “I want to be a tree”.
Therefore, Mac then came the fuck out of nowhere, and pull the branch down. I’m guessing he wanted Jack to stop having those naughty thoughts. Why am I writing naughty down anyway? I don’t know. Ever since I put that Moelestia thing down, I’ve been thinking about Molestia. That bitch, but, you know what. I’m not fucking explaining it.
Anyway, Jack got pissed off at Mac for taking down the branch. Then Mac told Jack that he was being a dumbass, by staring at shit. They then both got into a fight and one thing led to another.
Well, there was a storm. Yea, it was a bad one. The storm took over 10 lives, and surprisingly, no one gave a fuck. In fact, the dead bodies are still there. Of course, by now, they are skeletons, but I believe the town voted to have the dead bodies removed by next Tuesday.
Yea, apparently, the fillies were getting nightmares and the fillies were driving their parents nuts about having nightmares and shit. Well, the parents were fed up with it, and they decided to have the dead bodies removed.
Those little fuckers.
They ruined everything. Believe it or not,( hehe, Ripley’s believe it or not) that when I’m ever depressed or drunk as shit, I somehow talk to the dead bodies, as if they’re my friends.
Yes, you heard me right. I have dead bodies as friends, but only when I’m depressed or drunk. Other times, I just fucking to whatever the fuck I want to it. Moreover, no, I don’t fucking rape, but somehow a swarm of bees go rape the dead bodies every so often.
Apparently this town is an adult version of Ponyville. Well, on rare days that is. Most of the time, it’s like Ponyville, but I really don’t fucking no anymore.
Well, Mac and Jack were trying to take cover from the storm and failed to do so. Yea, Mac found one of the dead bodies, and used it as a pony shield, while Jack, just used a filly that was still alive.
I was surprised that the parents were not even pissed off. Then again, I believe from what I’ve heard from them, is that they called their child a mistake. Now, I know it seems like I hate children and shit, but truth be told, I really don’t. I just don’t see myself as a good remodel.
Therefore, I try to avoid them when ever I can. Besides, I just find that sad the there’s adults that think their child is a mistake.
Oh well then.
Later that kid died. Not from the storm, although he was fucked up a little bit, and he didn’t get medical treatment till two weeks later. I’m still surprised he survived after that.
Well, anyway, the filly or colt. I really don’t know what it was. Maybe both.
Well, as I was saying, the colt or filly was killed by the father, who was a drunk basturd. Funny thing is, that a month later, I got into a bar fight with him and I killed him.
Yep, his guts spilled all over the place. The wife tried to sue me, but I killed her before the court date. No bitch is going to sue me.
That fucking bitch.
Well, that means the family is all dead. Well, the thing is that the filly or colt went to heaven, but surprisingly the father as well. I saw him beating the child to a bloody pulp when I was in heaven.
Oh yea, I don’t know how to put this, but I will tell you how and why I went to heaven. In fact, I went to many other different heavens several of times. I will tell you how and when, when the time comes. However, until then you can just guess.
Oh right, and the mother ended up in hell. Although it’s not called hell here. It’s call purgatory. I mean, there is a devil, however, he’s not ruthless. In fact, he just rules that’s it. He doesn’t even tortures the poor souls that went to purgatory.
All the souls do is just do absolutely nothing at all. It’s kind of like that one part in hereafter, the one with Matt Damon I believe. I mean, they do some stuff sometimes, but most of the times, they just do nothing at all.
I actually met the ruler, and he’s a pretty nice guy when you get to know him, but he just says it’s his job to do this. So yea. It’s a fun hell.
So, back to the story. I was smoking weed, while Wolf was visiting Cantorlot. Yes, I said Cantorlot. Apparently, Celestia wanted to have a private meeting with him and something else as well. It was nothing bad, nor nothing with me. It was just something else. Therefore, I was left alone by myself.
That fucking doucebag.
In addition, of all the things that I did for him. Then again, I think that’s the weed talking. Yea, before I wrote this part, I smoked some shit before I wrote this part. What? The weed helps with writing and shit.
Therefore, I then noticed them outside, and of course, I wasn’t going to help them at all. Nevertheless, if you recall how I said the universe was making me say things that I wouldn’t usually say. Yea, my bodies forced itself up, and goes outside and yelled, “come inside! Quick! Before its gets any worse!”
yea, that happened. I can see the universe really wants me to repeat stuff here. However, to let you know, the universe eventually stops this, but it isn’t till I’m finished with the repeating and shit.
Well, Jack came in, then Mac, but Jack wanted to be a Gentlecolt to me, and had Mac go clean up outside with a hose.
First, how the fuck does he know I have a fucking hose. I mean, I know I have a hose somewhere around, it came with the place, but I never took it out. In fact, I believe it was still in the closet. I even checked on it, and apparently, the thing teleported outside. Why oh why is the universe doing this to me, I’ll never know.
Second, why the fuck does he need the hose. I mean its fucking raining outside. Use that fucking water instead of making my water bill go up.
Well, technically, Princess Celestia pays the bills to my place, so I could use all the fucking shit I want. That and along with food, and she already paid off the place for me to live at forever, so there’s that, but whatever.
Now, back on earth, that wouldn’t be such a great idea, since it could sometimes lead to diseases, but sometimes but not all the time though.
However, here, the water is recycled and even made. The thing is about is if the Pegasus makes their own snowflakes, rainbows, and shit. that means, they make rain or water as well.
Now, if you remember back in your schooling days, if you recall during science class, you know some of the laws of physics. For example, there is a law, where matter cannot be destroyed, nor created. It just simply transferred and shit.
Although, I’ve been breaking that laws of physics when I first found the portal to the universes and shit. So, suck it science. Fuck you and your laws.
Therefore, I guess that makes me a Neon Party and a Pinkie Pie. Then again, I have a reason for breaking the laws of physics. With Neon and Pinkie do it, they just do it at complete random.They just do out of the blue.
One minute you’re talking to either of them, then the next minute, they’re either disappeared without an excuse, or vanished for a second, and comes back, with a pack of dragon humping panda bees, that is fucking Chewbacca from Star Wars. While turkeys are killing living monkey butts, while chickens (scootaloos) are humping the planet Jupiter while cats have rainbows coming out of their asses.
Moreover, I’m dead fucking serious about that part. Just to tell this, that one day Pinkie came by for a quick visit, and I was talking to Neon. Well, Pinkie joined the conversation and that actually happened. Of course, the pony citizens panicked, and for once, they actually tried to figure out who did it.
Well, Neon and Pinkie just erased their memories of it ever happening, except for me. I still have nightmares of them coming into my room at night, watching me through the window, making sure I don’t say a word. Then again, I think that’s just Molestia doing that.
This for some reason is ok to me. Really, it’s not. I really don’t have a problem with that. Along as she doesn’t fucking rape me, I’m cool with it. Besides, she mostly does Wolf, but like I said before, she does me from time to time.
Now, what the fuck was I talking about? Fuck. This always fucking happen to me. I mention one thing, and then I completely go off track. Son of a fucking bitch. No wait, now I remember.
Equestria breaking the laws of physics. One more thing to say, that if scientist from Earth ever came and found out about how these ponies do things, they will be destroying textbooks about science. I mean, it’s like they’ve been doing something for nothing.
Oh well. Poor scientists and shit its clearly that I’m saying that I don’t give a fuck.
So, while Mac was outside doing god knows what. Maybe rednecks put those hoses up their asses are something.
Well, Jack thanked me for saving them for the rain. Now, the universe made me blurt out words that I didn’t want to say. I said, “Hey! Since the storm is really bad, why don’t you and Mac stay here and have a sleep over!?”
God I hate the universe. Why does it torture me so and making me say those cursed words. Dam it. Well, Jack looked at me awkward of course. I mean grownups don’t usually have that, unless of course it’s a friend who needs to stay at a place for a while, then moves out.
Well, anyway, that happened. What else happened was that the universe made me say, “I never had a sleepover before. Oh this will be perfect!”
yea, that’s not true. Of course, I had them when I was little. Well, Jack had a little smile on his face and agreed to it.
Now, what happened next was well, we did shit. Since putting mud and shit on our faces isn’t what a stallion usually do, we instead just drank a few beers, and just talked. Yea, we were just having fun and all.
By the way, I was lucky that the universe didn’t make me take out a book, that said, “all you wanted to know about sleepovers, but were afraid to ask.” That or “shit you didn’t know about sleepovers.” Alternatively, something like that. I always had a problem with Twilight reading from that book. The thing is, that she said, “We have to do it by the book. It says so in the book.” From my point of view, the book is telling her what to do.
I mean, that would never happen in…. no wait. We have the bible, and apparently, it told christens to go to door-to-door and shove their religion down other people’s throats. In fact, that actually happened to me.
A retarded christen heard that term, and he went up to my door, opened my mouth, and tired to shove the book down my mouth. Well, I called the cops, and I really don’t know what happened to him. but for some odd reason, I keep getting this weird feeling inside of me that he was put down, and for some odd reason I keep getting this odd feeling as well, right before he died, he said, “me goes to sleep now.”
I feel like zombie Hitler has something to do with this. The thing is, that I actually went to a universe, where earth was taken over by zombie Hitler. I think he wanted revenge on me, he saw a retarded person, and killed him, but that’s just a theory though.
Well, as I was saying, that it seems like Twilight will do anything that the book tells her to do. Now, let me ask you this. Would Twilight kill her friends if the book told her to?
I can just see it when she’s talking to the princess about it. “But princess, the book said so. It said to kill my friends.” It would either be a trolling prank by spike, the book of the dead, or just a weird situation, where the book is trolling her, or it’s just a weird fucked up coincidence, that the book said so.
Well, after that, we told ghost stories. Jack told the one about the sleeping fucker.
Apparently the sleeping fucker is about a guy who was fucking ponies in his sleep. Then one night, he mysteriously died (possibly from aids), and legend has it, that the sleeping fucker will fuck you in your sleep. No matter what if you’re a mare or a stallion.
I told this story to Molestia once, while she was banging Wolf, and she got so scared, she jizzed all over the place. That and she molested Wolf and me at the same time, as if we were protection. Why do I feel like that was like a pun, or a bad joke? I don’t know.
Then Mac told the one of happy apple.
Apparently, it’s an old legend to the apple family. The story goes, that one day, an apple family member prayed to god (this universes god. I’ll explain later.) That he wanted an apple to come to life.
This apple family member was really obsessed with apples and apples was his life. Well one day, his wish came true, that an apple came to life. In fact, the apple was happy he was alive and well, that the unnamed pony named him happy apple. He started to play games with him and enjoy his time with him.
However, after a few days had passed, the apple started to get darker and creepier. He even started to say disturbing things, as in to kill his closets’ family members and friends. Happy apple even told him to make a bomb, and set it off in the market place, where thousands would burn. Of course, the pony refused to do it, so the apple just continued to decay day after day.
It was to the point, he was so creepy, and so life like instead of being cartoonist looking, that he started laughing at random, as if the apple had gone insane.
Well, one day, the pony was working the field of apples trees, and strangely got tired, and decided to take a little nap. His family members went away to visit other members of the family. The pony had to stay, so he could take care of the apples.
Well, the pony went to his bedroom, and took a what was supposed to be a small nap. Well, legend has it, that happy apple killed him and was never seen again.
From what I’ve heard, it seems to be a shitty creepy pasta, but the strange part is, that I looked into this. Apparently most farmers is familiar with this tale and there was a mysterious murder of an apple family member. I even went to see the family members about it, and they didn’t want to say a word to me.
Well, hopefully I didn’t ruin the comedy mood for you, nor do I hope I scared the shit out of you right now.
I also had a scary story of my own as well. It was supposed to be funny, but something ruined the mood for it. What happened was that I told of the tale of the unborn fetus.
That’s right folks. The unborn fetus returns, and I’m just so happy to bring this back to you guys. Of course, you know I’m trolling you by now.
Well, anyway, the unborn fetus never dies. Especially what happened during those events of Derpy, which we will never speak or mention again.
Why did she shove those muffins up her asshole? Please? Why god? Why do you still make me think those things?
Strange. I don’t know why I never asked her. If you wondering what the fuck I’m evening saying, like I said many of times before, you’ll find out later in the future, but for now, let’s continue.
So how I started this scary story, was that a mare, was pregnant (and we all know what mare that is. Derpy hooves? Although, how did she become pregnant?)
Her husband beated her to a bloody pulp almost every day. He was an alcoholic, and never even loved his wife.
Then why were they married? Well, why was Stalins mother married to an abusive father.
So anyway, the husband soon died of…. I don’t know, aids I guess. Who knows? Maybe it was STDs or something.
Well, soon, the wife wanted an abortion, and of course abortions don’t even exist in Equestria, and Jack and Mac were looking at me strangely. Well, I then switched to grabbing a knife, and cutting the baby out.
However, really, we could just say, she forgot that it doesn’t exist yet. Well, the reason why she wanted it out was that she thought the baby will be the devil or something more like of that of the father himself. I have no fucking clue what I’m saying.
Well, one night, the fetus disappears without a trace, until she found it in the toilet. Well, she grabbed a trash bag, dragged it over to the dump, and dumped it to be picked at by animals.
Well, legend has it, that the unborn fetus was alive. In addition, legend has it, that if you go out into the woods at night, the unborn fetus will be watching you.
He will smell the fear off of you, and some say, he has tentacles and has no eyes at all, but only of a mouth the unborn fetus has. Moreover, if you look at him, he will take your soul. But if you mange to escape his grasp, don’t relax, because he will follow you home, and makes sure you don’t see the next day.
In addition, unfortunately for me, Mac and Jack were in the woods early that day, and I had no fucking idea they did that. They were shriving man. It was somewhat fun to watch. I wonder if I could someday tell the tale of cupcakes and rainbow factory. I bet they will shit themselves with that one.
Well, unfortunately, that if you remember that unborn fetus from the time Doctor Whooves was here, well, he was still around.
I mean, I did tell you about how Wolf put him in our neighbors’ mailbox. By the way, I remember the next morning, Wolf and me had our snacks and shit.
We watched him just scream when he saw the unborn fetus in his mailbox.
However, apparently, I made him go to therapy, because somehow, his wife had a miscarriage, and he thought it was the ghost of the unborn child. Whatever, it’s still funny to watch. In fact, we took the unborn fetus back, and we continued to fuck with his mind even more.
It was hilarious to watch. Trust me, it was. Well, after our neighbor was cured, we kind of dumped him off at the dump.
Well, to my knowledge, at first, I made that story up, with the unborn fetus and all, but what I didn’t know was, that it was all true.
Yes. There’s an unborn fetus slenderman now lurking in the woods of the forest. However, apparently, I don’t give a fuck about it.
Well, what happened was, that I slowly came behind Mac and Jack, and said boo(classic), but what happened next, terrified me.
The unborn fetus was right behind me, and said in the creepiest voice I have ever heard in my life. “Dada!”
we were all screaming in fear that night. Well, I fortunately had a gun on me, and I shot it, but for some reason, it was that terminator from terminator 2. It was like the liquid person.
Well, shit fuck.
Mac was fortunately was able to knock it out with a pan. The question is, what did we do with it?
We stuck it back into my neighbors’ mailbox.
Yea, and to let you know what happened, he went back therapy again.
However, I was kind of annoying though. He kept screaming every night. He was so loud; I could hear him from next door. I mean, my house and his house, are roughly fifteen to twenty feet away from each other. In addition, to let you know, after the town found the unborn fetus, the unborn fetus disappeared.
Which I found out later, that story I told, was what he exactly did. Great. I created a monster now. In addition, apparently, I’m his dada. Where, I guess you can say, I fucking disowned him, and he was my least favorite child. Of course, I don’t have any children, so yea, there you go.
In addition, one more thing, that happy apple story Mac told, I have to admit, that it makes you think. I mean, it make you think, that did the pony was just so obsessed with apples, was it his imagination, or was there a murdering apple that’s a psychopath.
Now I feel like a retarded dumbass when I just wrote that. Whatever.
Therefore, what happened next was making smores. Well, it was peaceful, at first, but somehow Mac took some crack from the dragon that one time and Jack and Mac were all over the place.
I didn’t have any, because I was smoking weed. smoking weed doesn’t go well with smores. It goes good with heroin.
Well, it took them a while to calm down and while they were high, they made a bath tub full of acid, and dumped a dead body into it. Don’t ask me where they got a dead body from. I wouldn’t know, other than those dead bodies that were outside of course.
Well, then we had a pillow fight at first, but then turned out to be a gunfight. Apparently, Jack said something to Mac that Jack wouldn’t take back and they broke through one of my walls. They broke through so hard, that they were in my hidden basement.
What were they? The men of steel?
Well, they then grabbed my homemade guns, and started to shoot at one another. Now, how they knew how to use it, and what it was is beyond me.
Eventually they calmed down, and then they asked what they had in their hooves. I told them to shut the fuck up and go to bed. I had to fucking clean the place up, so I didn’t want to be ignored by them.
Therefore, they did. Well, eventually, I cleaned up the place, although, there was some fluid from the unborn fetus, and I took it for a little trolling prank for Wolf.
Well, I went to my bedroom and when I went up stairs, the two were fighting to the death. Along with a strange Star Trek death battle music in the background that neither of them noticed.
In addition, both Mac and Jack decided to share a bed. Not that they are gay, but Jack brought up a good point, that if it’s a sleepover, it’s should be in the hosts room and for some reason, I have a futon in there.
I honestly didn’t know I have a futon. In fact, this universe doesn’t even have futons, although they do have it, but barley anyone knows its existence. Therefore, I don’t know where a futon came from, but it was there.
Well, then the tree branches broke my window. Yea, the thing is that Mac and Jack took the tree branches down or whatever that they were doing. It was safe.
It was just that all the way in Ponyville, the tree branches weren’t all taken down. Apparently, applejack didn’t get them all in time. Nice going Applejack! You fucking Bitch!!
Well, Jack and Mac realized the accident, and made up and fixed my window and shit. Well, you think everything else is all fixed and there are no problems.
Well then, you are a fucking dumbass then. If you think about of all the shit that has happened to me, you would know that everything isn’t safe.
Well, I got a knock on the door. I didn’t answer it and som ponies break down the door! The ponies then came up to me and asked where the fuck Mac is.
Then Mac heard the noise, came down, and ran to hide. Apparently, Mac was in debt with the Godstallion, and owed him money he never paid.
Now the Godstallion sent his bounty hunters after Mac. Well, Jack came to save the day, but was knocked out within seconds.
Well, I would kill them, but since these are ponies that don’t know who I am, I had to play it cool. In other words, knock them out with a frying pan. Which I did, but I think I might’ve killed one of them, because the back of one of their heads were bleeding and they didn’t come back to consensuses.
Well, we put the other pony in a chair and tied him to it. Mac and Jack eventually came back to the land of the living and we interrogated him. We tried everything, but somehow, I had an AIDS syringe lying around in my hidden basement and which I then got and gave him aids.
In addition, I had an AIDS syringe so I could figure out a possible cure for it, but the syringe were good in these type of situations like these I guess.
Well, that got him to talk apparently. Well, he then told where the Godstallion was hiding and we knew what we had to do. If you’re thinking we went after him, you’re wrong.
What we did is, Mac and Jack got rid of the bodies, and buried them in the ground, along with one of them still alive, while I smoked weed.
Then we headed out to Neon’s place, which we had to break in, since he lived in the party shop. The owners somehow didn’t get up when we broke in. I mean, there was no alarm system are anything.
Therefore, we went up to Neon’s room and he opened immediately. Apparently, he was still up at two o’clock at night.
He had music in the background, while jumping around the place, while saying “woohoo!” like Daffy Duck would say. We went into his room and it was fucking amazing. Even more amazing the Pinkie Pies room.
Well, that happened.
Neon offered us some cake, but we declined. Mac and jack didn’t want any, since it was night time and all. I didn’t want any because I don’t trust Neon with the cake.
I think he drugged it, which we will be then knocked out, be dragged to a hidden secret basement, then have our organs harvested like in Cupcakes. Well, the pony was already a complete psychopath. Why not admit the truth? I do wonder, if Bronies back on earth heard about Neon and my adventures, I wonder if someone would make a Neon Cupcake fanfic.
Along as I’m not the victim, I’ll be fine, although, I would feel bad for Forest though.
Well, we asked Neon if he could help us get rid of Mac’s debt with the Godstallion and he agreed to. After that, he disappeared and we didn’t see him till the next morning. When the morning came, we got up, got the newspaper that I have on my doorstep, and it was somewhat fucked up.
Apparently, Neon burned the Godstallion place of business, all of his men raped and killed. Then there was a bunch of unborn fetuses.
Oh god why.
Then there were cats and dogs pissing on each other at the crime scene. Then apparently the god stallion was at the orchestra last night, which Celestia and Luna were there. Although, no one knew he was the Godstallion, but he was apparently an important business pony.
Well, apparently, Neon cut his throat, ate his legs, pissed on him, raped him, chopped off his head, cut off his horn that he had, cut off his cutie mark, and harvested all of his organs.
My god. It was true. Neon had become what we have all feared. Pinkie Pie from Cupcakes, although that would be in a good way, since he was a corrupted pony and all.
Also, since Neon killed the Godstallion, that means he’s the new one. However, he said he didn’t want it, so he gave it to me.
I turned it down, because I didn’t feel like being responsible for innocent deaths I guess you could say. I don’t really fucking know why I turned it down.
In addition, I gave the position to Mac, but he turned it down, so it’s the Godstallions second in command. Well, that was the highlight of my day and shit. I then sent Mac and Jack home and continued to smoke weed.
Or (The reason why I say or is because threes another ending to this chapter. I was throwing these two endings around in my head and I couldn’t choose which one to do. I mean, I wanted to have something short and sweet, along with some comedy involved. However, at the same time, I wanted something a little more serious with still comedy involved in it. so here’s the second ending. I pretty much decided to do both. So, you can just decide which ending is better for you in your opinion.)
Mac and Jack made up, and stopped fighting and shit. Well, then Factory Dash came in. She walked out of my hidden basement and shit and went to ask me something.
Well, Mac and Jack just stared at Factory Dash, because she had blood on her face. I then knocked both of them out with a frying pan. Factory Dash and I talked for a while, deciding what to do.
Then all of a sudden, some ponies kick down my door. They came up to me, asking where Mac was. I asked them why and they said that he owed the Godstallion money. Yes. Mac was in debt to the mob.
Shit fuck.
What happened next was, well, it’s simple. Factory Dash and I kicked their asses. We pretty much killed all of them and Factory Dash was going to use them for the Factory and shit.
Factory Dash and I then went to wake up Mac, to ask him where the fuck the Godstallion is at. I didn’t want more bounty hunters to keep coming to my fucking house.
I eventually asked him, and he said he was somewhere in Manehattan. Then I knocked him out again for no reason at all.
I then teleported me and Factory Dash to Manehatten, where is the Godstallion’s main operation is at. Of course, I grabbed my guns and shit, so we can kill him and all.
I also knew how to teleport to Manehatten, because, well like I said before, my magic is powerful.
Therefore, we did that and went to the address Mac told me. It was an underground operation that was attached to a disguise building, which was an Italian place.
Well, that makes a lot of sense. Mob people are Italian.
Therefore, we went through the basement door and we killed a whole lot of fucking ponies.
We eventually found the office, which was all dark. In fact, it was dark as fuck. We found the desk and the chair was looking in the other direction.
Well I called him out and then the chair turned around. It had a dead pony sitting in it, with a TV attached to his head, kind of like with the joker in the Arkham series.
Of course, ponies in this universe don’t have any TV’s so this was done by someone on the outside. The TV finished with the static and a message poped up on the screen.
There was also a voice over that sounded like from Portal 2 on it.
It said, “TF would like to thank you for your participation. Now this place will explode in 21 seconds. Have a nice day.” Fuck.
Well, Factory Dash and I sprinted out of the building and got out just in time before the bomb went off. I mean, as we were running, we saw the bombs and they were attached to the walls.
Eventually, other ponies came to see the commotion, we hid behind another building, and all that shit. We tried to catch out breaths and we tried to talk it over.
I mean, how did TF know I was going over there. Of course, at the time, I knew he was planning something. something big for me. I didn’t know what, but it was something.
Then Factory Dash grabbed something out that she found in the building, which was a note for the Godstallion to go to the orchestra in Cantorlot tonight.
I then told Factory Dash she was relived from her duties so I can go kill this guy myself. I also told her to tell what happened here to TK. He would possibly figure something what the fuck was going on here.
I then teleported to Cantorlot and It just happened that I teleported right in front of the music hall.
Of course, the music was about to begin. So what was happening inside?
Well, everypony were taking their seats. Of course, it was the high-class snooty French ponies. Actually, I had no idea what they were. I mean, they were snobs indeed, but the type of snob I didn’t know.
Well, the announcer said that Celestia, Luna, Twilight were there and were attending the show. They also said my name, but I wasn’t there. They said my name as the personal student of Celestia and what not. They all took their seats, which by the way, Wolf was there too.
Twilight asked him where the fuck I was at. Including Celestia as well. She then asked Wolf, if I had gotten the letter from her three days ago. Well, I did, I just threw in the pile of shit that you keep giving me.
Fucking Bitch.
Well, the music than began. I watched all of this happened and I spotted the Godstallion. How did I know what he looked like? I found pictures of him back in Manehatten of course.
I spotted him, but I didn’t know how to kill him without attracting attention. Therefore, I went down there to get Wolf. Of course, Celestia the others saw me and asked why I was late. I then said the only thing I could come up with.
Aids happened.
Of course, with the universe and all, Celestia heard me say there was a storm. Fucking universe. She told me to take my seat, but I then told her I had to talk with Wolf for a moment.
I took him into the bathroom stalls and him what had happened and my plan. I then stayed in the bathroom, while Wolf got the Godstallion. I told Wolf to get the Godstallion to the bathroom however he could.
What he did, was whacking him in the head was a lead pipe. For some reason, no one saw this happened. Apparently the classical music is more appealing than a pony being beaten to death.
Well, Wolf then made a run for it back to the bathroom. He did without a scratch and I killed the Godstallion.
Of course, his followers saw this and bowed down to me, as I was the new Godstallion. Yea, no. Long story short, I gave the leading position to the second in command.
I then went back home and of course, Celestia asked where I was, but my response was, I had aids. Of course, what she heard was that I wasn’t feeling too well and that’s why I was in the bathroom.
Well, that was the highlight of my day.
I then went back home, kicked out Jack and Mac, which were left in the street for the rest of the night and smoked weed and get drunk.
(Note: ok, this a serious note here, that if you are ever are offended by my fanfics with the jokes, then i do apologize for it. i wouldn't normally do this apology with my fanfics, but i feel like i should, because i think one day, a guy is going to read this and likes it, but its runied for him because of the jokes and he gets offended and complains about it as all muslims do.)
Well, this part of my life happened after the events of the sleepover. I mean, I remember when I woke up in the morning, it felt like I had a hangover. Maybe the universe was making me fell like it for trying to tell the truth to Celestia. I mean, I was fine when I was at Cantorlot, but now, I felt like I had a hangover.
Like I was reified. Well, I was right. Apparently, Wolf trolled me, by putting reifies in my weed and beer, son of a bitch. At the time, I didn’t know what I did. I could’ve fucked a chicken, which meant I fucked a Scootaloo.
Well, shit. Who knows, maybe I had a tiger in my bathroom. Which surprisingly, I did. well then, it’s like I had a hangover adventure for me. I looked outside, and the place was a wreck.
It was odd indeed, because no one was outside. I wondered, did I kill everypony? Because if I did, well then. Looks like I was going to pony hell. Where all you do, is absolutely fucking nothing.
Great punishment.
Well, of Crouse, there was that hell pony that I knew, so it wouldn’t have been that bad.
Well, I found Wolf in the bathtub, who had a missing tooth, and I carried him outside and sprayed him with the hose. He soon woke up, asking where the fuck he was. I told him to get his ass up, and we walked the town.
Of Crouse, we knew we did something that night and we decided to figure out what had happened. Well, I then heard Neons voice to go near him.
I was afraid. I was wondering if he was going to harvest my organs. I then thought, “No. Neon couldn’t have killed all of the townspeople within a hour. He would’ve had to have plenty of coolers to put the organs in, so they would continue to be fresh and not rot.”
Well, I went over to him, which was a hugh risk, psychopath or not.
He then quickly took me into the party store, as if he was pedo bear from the internet. Of course, he would be raping me, but then again, I wasn’t a child. Whatever.
Therefore, I was in the party store, and everything was dark as fuck. Neon eventually lilted a candle and slowly, creepily showed everyone else to me.
I asked why everyone was in here, and they said the Zebra was why. I faced hoof. I mean, really. The black guy pony.
Maybe I should explain myself. You see, back on earth, I called Zecroa Black guy Pony, since she sounded black. That and she was a Zebra after all. You know. Zebras are from Africa, whatever.
You get offended, you get offended.
Well, other than white ponies being afraid of black ponies, that seems to be like bombs to them, I asked if Mac and Jack how they felt.
The thing is, it’s not that I actually give a fuck about their feelings, but I was starting to think something was up. Well, I asked, and they said they had hangovers as well. I then looked at Wolf, who just simply didn’t give a fuck.
That fucker.
Well, we hid in that party shop for about one or two hours, before the black guy pony came. In other words, Zecora. She was looking around, and gave a sigh.
I’m guessing she was tired of ponies being afraid of her, or in other words, having this happen again to her. She then walked away, but no pony came out.
I then asked the guys what would happen if I went to Zecroa. Well, Neon said that she would cut my neck, rape me, eat my legs, and harvest my organs.
Really.
Strange, I was looking at one right now. Therefore, I was guessing Neon is the black guy pony. As you can tell, that was a sarcastic joke.
Well, anyway, while I was talking, Macs little brother, shadow eclipse. I have to admit, that’s an awesome name for a pony. That is a fucking awesome name
. Well, anyway, shadow ran away from us, little fucker. Shadow was trying to go and meet Zecora, but Mac refused to let him, since he’s the bigger brother and all doesn’t want him to get hurt, which reminds me of something.
Well anyway, Shadow escaped and went after Zecora. I also have to admit, he’s a brave little one too. I mean, of all the ponies that I have met; he’s the bravest of them all for going into the Everfree.
I mean, sure there was the other guys, but I convinced them. How? By absolute nothing. Now, did that make any sense to you? Neither did I make any sense of it.
Moving on.
Well, he moved through the Everfree and was almost at Zecroas hut, which was a decent amount of travel done by him.
However, Mac noticed he was gone the moment he left the store. We followed him and as shadow was going to meet Zecroa, Mac and the others stopped him. By the way, they were in the fields of the blue mutated hybrid flowers.
I mean, I wasn’t in it, since I remember this episode, so I stayed away from it. of course, why didn’t I tell the others. I really do not give a fuck about them. I mean, it’s fun to be with them sometimes and it’s good to be their friends, but I really don’t give a fuck about them.
Besides, it’s only a flower that makes fun of you and possibly is racist. Son of a fucking bitch. I just realize that they would’ve torched a black pony, which would’ve been racist and shit. Strange how I just realized this so many years in the future after it happened.
Well, as I was saying about the racist flowers, yea, there you go. Therefore, the guys threaten Zecroa, to never come back to Stalia and what not.
Well, we all eventually went back home, but it took us the entire day, since Zecroas home was near Ponyville and it takes a while to travel through the Everfree.
I was going to figure out what happened with Jack, Mac, and I but I decided to say fuck it and smoke weed and go to bed. When I woke up, it was the fucking universe again.
I got up to go to the bathroom to take a piss. Well, I looked in the mirror and nothing happened to me. Well, I then went to the living room, to smoke my morning weed.
I used my levitation spell to grab the weed, but the spell didn’t happen. Instead, what came were two little fireworks, like Asian fireworks that are illegal.
You know. The ones that you would get in illegal Mexico or the illegal part of Mexico, where they have the illegal Asian fireworks.
Yea, two of those popped out. The first one exploded and it gave me a message, saying, “FUCK YOU, singed, the Universe.” then the second one exploded, and it showed a troll face.
I think I have an arch enemy now. It’s this universe.
Yes, apparently, the universe wants to make me do my destiny. How about no. I’ll tried to continued to resist. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to feed the paresprite.
Well, I went to wake up Wolf, and Wolf wasn’t wooden anymore. He had actual fur on him and not magic. When Wolf woke up, he was shocked and asked why. I yelled, “Dam you universe. Dam you! Dam you to HELL!! You blew it up! You blew it up!!” I then got up from the ground, pretending that I didn’t do the ending for the original planet of the apes.
Well, the next thing you know, the room got cold and the window was also broken as well. It was Forest of course, and instead of fire, he was ice. Yea, his coat color change from fire colors to ice colors. You know, like light blue and shit. Well, you might as well call him icestallion.
You know, like iceman from X-men or was that even from X-men. I think he was, but icemen is gay, so I guess whatever you want to say then.
Forest came to me and said it was the black pony’s fault. Really, I don’t think black ponies can do this unless they’re from Africa.
You got offended yet? If so, then I’m surprise you’re still reading this. I mean, I made a whole bunch of jokes that would offend people, and you’re still reading it. Just admit it. You enjoy the racist stuff. Besides, if you ever seen Avenue Q, everyone’s a little bit racist.
After Forest said what he said, the rest of the gang came in. what I saw next was what the fuck. I saw a kangaroo, Neon who had a sad expression on his face, a deformed pony, who might’ve had AIDS, applejack, and a midget pony. Ok, so let me explain here.
The kangaroo was Arrell. That explains a lot, but of course, no one else got it. If you remember in chapter 3, I said he had an Australian voice accident. Therefore, yea, we had a fucking kangaroo, which possiably could box.
The deformed pony was Jack. I think the flowers are starting to have a sick mind for jokes.
As for applejack, it wasn’t applejack. It was Mac. Mac did say it was somewhat of his nightmare. It did make sense for him, because he and applejack aren’t quite on good terms for being cousins and all.
As for the midget, that was shadow. I think the flowers didn’t think he was small enough as it is, so they made him a midget.
As for Neon, well, he cried and said he couldn’t break the laws of physics. Really, that’s supposed to be a joke. That’s normal. Well, Neon cries, because he couldn’t do jackshit anymore.
So apparently, everypony knew what he could, but didn’t find it awkward. I just give up on Neon and Pinkie. Neon also said he couldn’t harvest the organs. We all looked at him as if he was an insane and just looked at us back. He said, “You try not doing random things.”
I don’t know if Neon is self aware anymore about his flaws and….. You know what. I just fucking give up.
Therefore, what happened was everypony blamed Zecroa, and were going to set her on fire for doing this. That or beat the living shit out of her.
Of course, I could’ve stopped it, but the universe stopped my magic. I mean, whatever spells that I do, it always shows those two little illegal Asian fireworks.
Well, it was still early in the morning, and not everypony was outside, we the guys just went after Zecroa. All right, and shadow went to find Zecroa, and Wolf made fun of us.
Let’s see, he came up with kangaroo Arrell, jacked up Jack, regular Neon, bitch Mac, Shadow midget, Forest ice, and as for me, it was fucker. Great job their Wolf. You’re a fucking dumbass.
I tried to think of a name for Wolf, but all I can come up with was sick Wolf. You want to know why he’s sick. He likes being molested; he has good dreams of that moment with Derpy, he’s a fucking troll, and wants to fuck a pony. Yes, that’s right.
Don’t remember?
Remember back in chapter 3 how I said he wanted to fuck a fucking pony. Yea, I didn’t forget that. How could I forget it? He said it in my face in the weirdest of all ways, by humping the air.
Well, the guys went after the black guy pony, while me and Wolf took out time to get to Zecroa. Well, we eventually got there, and what I saw was Neon have a match.
I knew we should’ve had that intervention soon.
Well, all I did was grabbed one Of Zecroa chairs, and knocked out Neon. Yea, he was bleeding a little bit.
The guys let Zecroa go. Oh, right. I forgot to mention that the guys tied her up in a chair. I’ll admit, they were going a little too far with this one.
I just decided to say fuck it and explain to them that Zecroa wasn’t evil. I explained everything to them about how the mane six knew them and she wasn’t all that bad.
Of course, Zecroa had a look on her face, and asked me how I knew the mane six. I didn’t feel like explaining it, so I made Wolf handle that part, while I smoked weed. Yea, I had some weed with me.
Also, midget Shadow walked into the room, with a few items, and asked why was Zecroa was tied down, why was she was covered in gasoline(I’m surprised these ponies know what that is. Then again, they do use it for floats and shit.), and why was Neon bleeding.
Mac bitch just said he would tell him when he’s older. That’s strange. Maybe he already told him what sex was. I did asked him and he said he somewhat knew of it and was a little bit afraid of it, since he had a well-described description of it when he was told.
He was also told by Mac.
Yea, if Mac ever got married and had kids, he would be unfit to be a husband and a father.
Well, we eventually calmed down, explained ourselves, and said we were sorry. She also offered us the cure for the flowers, which we did except. I also asked why was she was in Stalia and apparently, one of us took something from her. It was an African mask.
Apparently, it was when Mac, Jack, and I had that hangover. Apparently, Jack didn’t notice the fucking scary mask over his bed.
Therefore, we gave it back and we took the cure. We also went to the local spa to do it and we are all better. Mac, jack and I also asked if she knew anything about our hangover.
She said she knew, but we had to come back the next day, since she had a place to clean up.
Oh right and for you Neon fans out there, I put Neon in a comma for 3 days. He eventually was cured from the flowers, but he was a little pissed off, but calmed down, and we were still friends.
It was morning, and it was the day after the events of episode 9. All I thought was just to wait for episode 10.
Well, I got out of bed, and I tested out my magic and there were no illegal Asian fireworks this time.
I got and went to smoke my morning weed and shit. I also got breakfast, which were pancakes from Applejack’s who made it for me. I also saw a box of muffins, and all it did was bring back memories we will never speak of. I just stared at it, as if it has taken my innocence.
Well, of course this is completely boring and you want some shit to happen. Well, I woke up; Wolf was somewhere to be found. I mean, no windows were broken, so he didn’t get high in the middle of the night. No empty beer bottles lying outside, that leads to Wolf on a park bench. There was no dead bodies or an unborn fetus.
Speaking of the unborn fetus, not too long ago, there was a newspaper article about 8 ponies missing in the woods. Not the Everfree one, but the local and safe one. The article said that the only evidence they have for the kidnapped kids were a strange birthing liquid. Alternatively, after birth liquid I guess. Yes. The unborn fetus is this universe Slenderman.
I wonder if this universe had any computers, there would be an unborn fetus game, like slender. That would be kind of cool and funny at the same time.
Well, as I said, I couldn’t find Wolf anywhere. In fact, he didn’t even go to bed the night before, because usually Wolf’s bed is filled with beer bottles and cocaine and shit. yea, Wolf did crack sometimes.
Well, I then heard a knock on my door, hoping it was Wolf coming back from burying a dead body. Well, it wasn’t. It was Forest, who came to get me to go to the hospital.
If you recall me knocking my friend out Neon, yea, he was in the hospital and shit. We all decided to go visit him, since he was in a comma after all.
Well, Forest and I walked to the hospital. As we were walking, I noticed some business had broken windows, and unbelievably, a fresh dead body showed up, but no pony gave a flaming fuck about it.
Well, we then got to the hospital, and there were some strange few injuries as we went to the floor where we needed to go. When we got to Neon’s room, all of my friends were sitting in chairs and talking to the doctor.
My friends didn’t really hate me for putting Neon into a comma. In fact, they really don’t give a fuck.
Well, Arrell talked to the doctor, and the doctor said he didn’t know when Neon would wake up. He also said he had to do surgery on him since when I knocked him out, he did bleed a little. Well, it wasn’t a little bleed, it was… know what? It was a shit load of blood that he lost. Thankfully, though, they gave him a blood transplant, and his brain should be fine. Now only if they could make sure Neon doesn’t break the laws of physics again, that would be nice. In fact, he actually did at one point, but gained it back. I’ll tell that story for another time. However, for now, let’s continue.
After the doctor left, we just sat and talked for a while. Then Jack told me and Mac we had to go. Yea, if you recall, Zecroa would tell us what happened to us when we were reified by Wolf.
We all walked out of the room and headed on outside. When we left the building, I felt a strange presence, that somepony was following us. I told this to Mac, and he said, “Don’t worry about it. Its possibly just AIDS” now, I have no comment on this. I mean, just fuck it.
We walked through the Everfree and eventually found Zecroas hut. Along with the strange presence, I might add. We entered Zecroas hut, to find Twilight here by surprise.
Applejack was also there too, and Mac had high blood pressure. You could tell, because he was spraying blood everywhere. I’m not fucking kidding you, his blood vessels popped, and was spraying out of his fur or coat or whatever the fuck you want to call it. He loosed so much blood, Applejack just ran out. Thank god, black guy ponies have magic shit to help fix Macs disabilities and all.
In addition, as Twilight was walking out to go with her friend Applejack, she was staring at me, while having rosy cheeks.
Well, like I said before, she did have a crush on me, and I found that to be fucking weird as shit. Well, Jack also noticed this, and he asked me if we had something going on. As I said before, I didn’t at the time she had a crush on me, but later on I found out.
Well, we decided to skip that part, and move on with Zecroa. She told us to take a seat, so we did. She had a long introduction of to what we did when we had a hangover and all.
Well, when she was about to tell us what had happened. Three ponies knocked down Zecroa’s door, and started to fire spells at us.
I then did the smart thing, and not what black guys would do. I threw the table down on the ground, so it would act as a barrier for us. Now, what black people would do, would grab out a glock, and start shooting up the place.
Surprisingly, yea, it happened with Zecroa. She grabbed out a special portion, put into something, and started to fire back. Man. I’m just making fun of these things and I’m getting these right.
Well, I then rolled my eyes when I saw this, so I just broke down one of Zecroa’s walls and left Zecroa. What? If you think that’s racist of me, then whoever you are you have a problem of thinking everything is racists.
I mean, you must think an apple is racist to gingers or to Lauren Faust. How would that offend someone, I wouldn’t know, but those stupid people who… whatever. You get the fucking point now. Besides, what do you want people?
What!? You want everything to be black and white? Well then that would offend Asians, whites, and black people.
Therefore, in the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd, happy shut the fuck up. Even though that has nothing to do right now, let’s move on.
Ok, so I grabbed Zecroa and took her back to Ponyville while Jack, Mac, and me took care of the ponies that were trying to kill us. Unfortunately, Zecroa was shot in the leg, so we just sat her by some trees and shit. However, of course, I wanted to have some fun with this so I put her by a tree that looked like an African tree, that possibly had AIDS.
What? Well it’s true. Africa is a continent that’s made up of AIDS. There’s no way of escaping the truth, so just take the truth and move on with life.
After we did that, we went to fight off the ponies that were attacking. Now, of course, I didn’t expect to kill anypony, which we didn’t so, I have no idea why I said that.
However, guess what, Slenderfetus came to save the day. That’s right folks. Slender etus or the unborn fetus killed the ponies and took the dead bodies back to its lair. We just don’t question it, ok.
Therefore, after the Slenderfetus came to save us, well, we took Zecroa back to Ponyville so she could get medical treatment and shit. Moreover, when I mean by that, we just dragged her Zebra ass along the ground, even though she tried to resist and all and we dropped her off 5 miles from Ponyville, and gave her a few bits for her troubles. Yea, we were good ponies that day.
From what I’ve heard, she crawled on the ground until she was founded by some timber wolves, who then dragged her to their den, raped her, and dropped her off in the middle of town, which by the fucking way, the ponies noticed, and almost panicked. Therefore, Ponyville is the town that makes sense, while Stalia is the town that makes no sense.
I guess the two towns or the tale of two towns. I just ruined a Charles Dickens joke, didn’t I? Well, whatever. I mean, Twilight did find her, and brought her to the hospital, which they couldn’t take her, because they were treating too many ponies who had fainted, who was also possibly in a comma like Neon was.
Although I knocked him out with a wooden chair. However, from what I’ve heard, when the town was panicking, ponies were going insane, and whacking each other’s heads. I feel like that part should’ve been included in the Ponyville tourism video I remember from YouTube.
Well, what happened next was we figured the ponies had to do something with what happened during our hangover. That or it was the mob trying to whack us. Alternatively, possibly the griffin guy who somehow came back, and decided he wanted revenge on me, or though the chances of that were likely.
To tell you the truth, that acutely did happen, well short of.
Therefore, we all went back to our homes, to search our homes to see if there was any evidence of what had happen. Now, I was the only one that search, technically.
Mac did jack shit or in other words, apple shit. While Jack, well, he did search, but for only about 30 minutes, gave up, and went to bed. With Mac, well, he just did apple shit like I said, but he just got drunk, took a shit, complained about applejack, and passed out. For me, I actually did search, for about two or three hours. I searched everywhere, but still nothing.
Well, I then decided to go take a nap, and wait for day two and all. In addition, this has nothing to do with anything at all, but I dreamed of a memory like dream.
Now, it wasn’t my memory, and in fact, I know what it is, but you guys will have to wait for that explanation later. Now, what I dreamed about is this, that I was in a castle, or kingdom like building, and I saw Lauren Faust’s pony or what she would look like if she were a pony.
Now, of course, I know what this.. Ok, I’m pretty sure by now, that there’s going to be a reveal for this explanation in the future. I’m just trying to build some build up to it. Kind of like in the legend of Zelda game, the original one.
You know, how the game always talked about Gannon, but you didn’t know what he looked like. I’m mean, you knew you were going to have to fight him off in the end of the game, but before the fight even happened, it was a mystery of what Gannon looked like.
So, in other words, I’m just trying to surprise you guys, however, will I try to tell you now. Fuck no! I just want to make you guys have a look on your face when you get to the part what I’m talking about , even though I won’t see it, since I’m in the MLP universe and all, but still. Trust me; it is quite interesting if you ask me.
So, continuing with the dream, actually, well, without spoiling the truth, so fuck you, that’s all you get. A kingdom with Laruen Faust’s pony. Try to guess and figure what I’m talking about. If you get it, then good for you, it’s just that you won’t be surprised when I reveal it to you. In fact, I’m just going to help you out a bit, and remind you of what the pony looked like. So here, it is folks.
yea, as for the kingdom part, I don’t know what to tell you about that. I mean, I guess it all depends on your point of view is or picture of a kingdom.
I mean there’s like a classic British people or in other words, wizards. Medieval kingdoms. Magical land or fairy tales kingdoms.
In addition, if you want to be a religious person, there’s the gods kingdom and shit. you know, be on the clouds, saying fuck you to your friends and family members because they’re in hell, holding up a middle finger in the air facing the ground, saying fuck you dad, you piece of shit. Then getting like drunk with other angels, like Andy Griffith, Don Knots, Neil Armstrong, Bob Hope, John Wayne and Walt Disney.
No wait, John Wayne and Walt Diseny are in hell. I completely for got about Walt Disney hating the Jews. Speaking of Jews, I did make some nice and possibly offensive Jewish jokes back on earth.
As for now, I’ll give you one, but if there’s any opportunity for one later, I’ll do it. So, basically this is it.
When you’re American, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can say fuck you to the Muslims and take a shit on the Eiffel tower, and no one will give a fuck, along as you’re not a Jew.
Yea, I have better ones then that, but you had to use it in the right moment or it wouldn’t work, but at least you got one, right? What am I doing here, I’m just getting off track aren’t I.
Ok then, let’s move on. Therefore, I then woke up, and the place was still a wreck. Yea, forgot to tell you. After the day of Zecroa and shit, the place still wasn’t cleaned up.
Anyway, I was still tried, and wanted to go back to sleep, but I heard a noise in the kitchen, so I decided to go check it out. When I went to where the noise came from, well, I found a tiger.
Yea, I forgot to tell you, when I woke up the morning and found out Wolf reified me, well, there was a tiger. I just wondered why I didn’t get rid of it. The tiger was digging through the pantry. I just shrugged it off and went back to bed, as if it was normal. I mean, what is normal anymore. Besides, he’ll be the new Wolf till I get the old one back. Although, when Wolf came back, I still kept the tiger. I have no idea where the tiger came from, but he was awesome. In fact, I kept him as a pet.
Sure, I was possibly still had to get an owl as a pet, like what Twilight did, but this way, I can have two pets. A tiger and a bird. Nice.
Well, I then went back to my bed, and was trying to go back to sleep. However, I just couldn’t. I kept thinking about the dream that I had. I mean, sure I know what it means now, but back then, it kept me thinking questions.
Did the dream mean anything? Was it foretelling a future or was It fake?
Now, we’re going to get science shit here. Therefore, the thing with dreams is that your brain is at rest when you’re sleeping. This is the time when your brain is basically organizing things around in your brain, trying to make sure nothing goes wrong with you. However, while this is happening, your brain seems to also have this weird shit happening also, or like fake simulators, which are your dreams.
Now, I know I put this in a shitty, way, so, basically, I’m going to let Vsauce handle this. Vsauce!?
Well, I kept asking these questions, because sometimes, dreams can mean something. Like I remember this one story, where this guy was trying to think of something to help with shit, and he dreamed something that helped. I know, I’m just describing things with shit, I know. I’m just a little high right now, that’s all.
So, moving on. I kept staring at my ceiling, trying to make sense of this, but couldn’t figure it out. Now, strange thing is, that I also had these dreams back on earth, but it was more a blur to me, but ever sense I got here, I dream that I had of this grew stronger, as if the connection or single of this dream is pointing here.
Interesting. Something to think about for trying to figure out what the dram meant. Ok, so, I decided to put the thought aside, and looked at Wolf’s bed. I saw all the empty beer bottles and cocaine he had left.
I was really missing him, since we’ve been buddies for years. I mean, even Molestia was sad. She came to my room last night, looking to molest Wolf, when I told her that Wolf wasn’t here right now. Therefore, what did she did do, she molested me instead.
Son of a bitch.
I had to fill in for Wolf while he was gone. Now, only if I knew about the tiger, I could’ve told her that the tiger is the new Wolf. Maybe she would’ve done it. I mean, then again, maybe the pinkie pie from the.MOV series would’ve done it has well. I mean that pinkie pie did fuck a snail, gave big Mac a blowjob, and was drinking vodka and shit. Then again I drink like three to five tequila bottles a day.
Well, I looked down, and saw a piece of paper under Wolf’s covers. I took the piece of paper, and read it. Guess fucking what, it was a ransom note. Well, since this is like the hangover movie, at least we know where Wolf is.
Apparently, he’s with a mob boss called the black pony. Maybe he’s a black guy pony as well or in other words, a fucking Zebra. Perhaps, or maybe it’s Hitler. What a Twist!
Did that M. Night joke made you laugh? Yea, I know these jokes are starting to get old and all, but you have to admit, that M. Night is quite a strange Muslim for American movies and all.
Well, I quickly then got out of bed, and went straight outside. I was running towards Jack’s place, but I found them walking towards me. I then showed them the paper I found, and they didn’t know what to do.
Then Mac came up with an idea. He said he had known somepony that could help us with this ransom. We then followed Mac to a more shitty part of town of Stalia. It was a like a hood, but there was no black guy ponies around.
Yea, I’m cracking these black guy jokes almost frequently. Love’em or hate’em they’re here to stay.
Mac eventually led us to the place. It’s like that house from Project X, where it’s that gnome guy’s house. We knocked on the door, and we heard some yelling, then a scream. Then we saw blood flowing underneath our hooves. Then the door opened, and there was a stallion that looked like a doucebag.
Not doucebag doucebag like the doucebag that I know, but a regular doucebag. I am saying doucebag a lot aren’t I?
Well, he also didn’t shave, so it looked like he had an after shave or a rugged shave look. He also had a robe on, and offered us to come in.
He then told us to take a seat, and we saw the dead body. He said don’t mind the dead body, he told he’ll call the exterminator soon. Right, moving on.
He offered us some weed, which I gladly took, but what I got was shit weed. Litterly. It was weed that had been in shit. Mother fucker.
We then asked him to help us look for the black pony, but he said he had to check his schedule. That was odd to me, because I didn’t know doucebags had a fucking schedule.
I have to study the species some more, like I did with the Asian midget back on earth. I also had a scientific name for it, but I’m not going t say it, because the punch line of the joke is just horrible. Ok, its asineria midgetria. I know, the joke isn’t that funny.
Although sometimes I work on it. Anyways while the pony that looked like a doucebag was checking his shit, Mac took his fucking gnome. Apparently, he told me that what we came for, which I just, I just give up with these guys.
Well, anyway, Mac told me to turn the gnome invisible with a spell, which I have no idea he knew I have an invisible spell.
How does he know, is beyond me. I mean, it’s in my spell book that I made, which is locked up. I don’t know, maybe he’s being a racist.
Now that I think about, maybe I’m the racist, because I’ve been making these jokes and shit. Then again, everybody is a little racist sometimes. Well, I then quickly did the spell, and as I did so, the pony came back. He said he was busy, and he had to go to the dojo at five.
Apparently, there’s Asians in My Little Pony. Therefore, I’m guessing there’s a country called Japony, like Japan. I know that joke wasn’t that great, but I’ll work on it. Speaking of Japony, never mind, you’ll see in the future of what I mean by this.
Therefore, we got out of his house, and we headed back to my place. we all sat down in the living room, and grabbed a beer for all of us, but for Mac, he busted the gnome open, and grabbed what appear to be that drug that was used in Project X.
I don’t remember what it’s called, but it was something that made you go crazy and shit. Therefore, yea, but he didn’t take any of it. It looks like he was planning something for it.
Well, we all took one beer, and we just sat there to drink. After that happened, I decided to check out Macs house, since he didn’t check it and all.
Therefore, as we got to his house, the mail guy was there, possibly giving out AIDS that he has in the envelopes. I never trusted that mail guy. He gave an envelope to Mac, which was a hospital bill.
We all looked at each other, and headed straight over there. I mean, it was a clue to what could’ve happened to us and all. We eventually got there, and found the doctor. His name was DR. Wings.
For some reason, I can’t but feel that could be a TV drama for middle age women who has a lonely life and are constantly annoying.
Well, he was with an old guy, and he told us to come in. He had locked the door, and I was afraid he was going to rape us. However, that wasn’t it. Apparently, he was talking to the old pony, and said he only had one day to live. Of course, the old geezer was shocked as fuck, and the doctor responded with, “I know. This is the toughest part of the job of being a doctor.” He then grabbed a pillow, and smothered him until the old guy died. He kept saying don’t fight it and eventually said, “that’s right. Nice and easy. Nighty night mother fucker.”
Yea, this town was a little dark sometimes. Apparently, he had said the old stallion had given him AIDS somehow. That and he does that sometimes, but whatever. I mean, I litterly had given up on this town, so frankly, I don’t give a dam anymore.
Therefore, we then asked him about what had happened to us, and he said he had nothing to say, but we are some ponies that could party. Well, I mean, I usually party Project X style and sometimes with class, but that’s just me.
He did give us something to go by though, that Jack had gotten married to a bitch that had a Zebra disease called Zebrica. Apparently, it’s like AIDS for black guy ponies. Are these AIDS jokes working for you?
He also said Jack had a stepchild, which was at the hospital. He then given us the child and the name of the child was dinky. It was a colt, but apparently, the mother named a boy a girl’s name. I hate to see that bitch.
Well, we did. We had to get the kid to talk to where she lived, because for some reason, he was a little fucker. We eventually got to where the mother lived at, and it was in the hood again.
I was just afraid that the guy we stole the gnome from was going to come back and kill us for stealing his gnome, like that gnome guy from Project X.
The mother lived in a apartment place, and she was walking back and forth, but only because she was worried where the fuck we were at. In addition, I’m surprised she was still doing this, or that the child was kept at the hospital for three days, because the hangover happened three days ago.
In addition, the time was about when Celestia’s sun was setting.
When the bitch of a mom saw us, she quickly was relieved and relieved herself. I’m not going to go into extreme detail, but it reminds of those Molestia tumbler updates. It was, quite interesting. I’m also horrified by it and still have nightmares about it to this very day.
That and I also have plenty of other nightmares. Some are the Derpy moment if you recall and some are personal. We were invited in, and we talked.
The bitch talked and talked about how Jack and her will be so happy as a couple and how they will be so great as a family together and they will never will be divorce or have any problems. Well, as she was talking, I looked at Jacks face, and he looked horrified, as if he was about to die.
The bitch was at the sink, cleaning some dishes and shit. Why did I say this? Well, Jack got up quietly, without saying a word, walked over to the bitch, and shoved her head into the kitchen sink and ending up killing her.
Mac and I looked at Jack, and he said, “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t live with this bitch. I mean, I know I just killed somepony, and I might just end up in purgatory, although, along as you guys see me as a good pony in my lifetime, then I’ll be good. Also, don’t worry about the kid, I’ve got it covered.”
What he meant by the heaven thing, was that the rules of getting into heaven was a lot simpler then the Christianity religion. All you have to do to get into pony heaven was to be a good pony. That’s it.
Now, if you killed somepony, but were still seen as a good pony to others, then you’ll still be able to get into pony heaven. Yea, trust me. It makes very little sense, but at least it’s a lot simpler to understand to get into heaven in this universe.
Other universes I remember, required to rape a donkey, while shoving balloons up your asshole, while juggling fireballs. I’m not kidding you. I’ve been to a universe that had that rule for getting into heaven.
In addition, what Jack did to the kid, well, he didn’t kill him for one thing, but if he did, he would’ve had serious blood on his hooves. I mean, even killing a child for me is going too far.
Well, unless they’re like one of those children, who are bad, to say like they killed somebody or just a mother fucker, whose like a stealer and shit. I mean, I recall a few instances when that happened back on earth.
What Jack did was put him in a box, sealed it up, with some air holes of course, and shipped it off to one of his cousins in Manehatten. I do wonder though, what did happen?
IN MANEHATTEN…..
The child was still in the box he was shipped that was in the kitchen, and had very little food.
He then said, “Hello!? Can anypony hear me!? I haven’t eaten in three days! I have to go to the bathroom! I had to drink my pee and eat my own poop since I’ve been in this box!!”
Then, the cousin yelled, “Will you shut the fuck up!! Dam it!! I’m trying to get some sleep in here!! Why did my fucking ass of a fucking cousin have to send me his Retarded Stepchild!? That fucking basturd!”
BACK IN STALIA
I guess that kid is alright. Well, we then headed back to my place, but on our way there, we decided to go to Ponyville, and get help from Twilight. Just to let you know, by this time, Luna’s moon was already high in the sky.
Since I just wrote that, now I’m wondering if the moon was ever alive, and had a face, when it smoked weed, the moon would rise in the sky, while the sun gets mellow on some” Brownies” that has some drugs in it. Why am I thinking about this and writing it down. Then again, I do smoke weed a lot.
Whatever, so we were walking through the town of Ponyville, late at night. We were close to Twilights house, when suddenly, the gnome pony comes back.
However, he got our attention, from casting a spell, which by the way, he was a unicorn. Well, he casted a spell that was a flamethrower spell. Macs ass was on fucking fire, although, it was put sot somehow.
I don’t know what, but I’m guessing it was the universe and how the universe wants me to continue my destiny. What I mean by that is,when I ever say the universe is doing this, it’s somehow my destiny to be in this universe. I mean, think about it. I’m part of a set of elements shit. How does that not make you think I wasn’t supposed to be here in this universe. There was a reason why I was an Alicorn before.
Anyway, the pony said very loud, constantly, “Give me back my fucking Gnome!!!” reminds me of Project X, no?
We then ran away and tried to take cover. Also, while we were running I told Mac, “Why the fuck did you have to take his fucking Gnome!? Huh?! Why couldn’t you just do crack like Arrell?”
we eventually found a place opened, which was I believe to be the spa somehow. We quickly ran inside, and found photo finish. She was packing her camera away, when we ran up to her and asked for help.
She said sure, which we thought she would hide us and tell the gnome guy to go away and we’re not here. I don’t how it would work, but it was the best chance we had of surviving. Well, I was dead fucking wrong.
The next thing that happened, was photo finish’s skin peeled back unfolded. What revealed itself, was a xenomorphic from the Alien movie Franchise. I’m not fucking kidding.
It’s the alien from “Aliens” well, we were fucked, although Mac and Jack just look confused and had the ‘what the fuck’ look their faces. The alien soon had its second mouth, ready to pierce through our heads.
I was then next expecting that bitch from Aliens, where she would be in that robotic suit of hers, saying, “get away from them you bitch!” what? There was already an alien from aliens. Might as well just add more weird shit right now.
Well, it wasn’t the bitch from aliens, but was the gnome guy. All he said was again “Give me back my fucking gnome.”
The alien saw this, and went straight for him, well, the gnome guy pulled out a weapon that looked like it belonged in star trek, and fought to the death with the alien. While this was happening, we hid in the closet.
When we were in there, we found the dead body of Photo Finish. Jack looked at it, and picked it up. Apparently, he wanted to give a proper burial.
Not that he liked her, but these ponies had similar human emotions, where we have feeling for one another, when we’re hurt, we humans tend to help each other out. These ponies did the same, but did it more often than humans did.
Well, we then slowly opened the closet door, and we saw the alien still fighting with the other pony. We used this to our advantage, and escaped through a window. Well, not necessarily escape, but break the fucking window and run like hell.
We didn’t know what to do next, so we did the only most sensible thing. Go to Rarities’ house.
We knocked on the door, she yelled, questioning why someone would wake her up this late at night, and when she opened the door, she asked, “Is that Photo Finish’s body?” then she fainted, which we pulled her body inside her house and locked it.
We then sat down and tried to figure what to do next. Well, I did, while Mac and Jack just stared at the dead body. I just rolled my eyes, and did a come to life spell or regeneration spell you might put it.
It’s a spell that brings dead things back to life. As I said many times before, I write my own magic very easily. I just don’t use it, because I stick to the rules of death.
Well, Mac and Jack were shocked that I could do this type of spell, but I explained to them what I just recently explained to you people. We then all got up, put Rarity in her bed, so she’ll think what she saw was all a dream and shit.
Now, weird comment here, but I somehow wish Freddy kukaur was here, so she’ll defiantly knew it was a dream, then again, that could’ve been arranged. No really, it could. I can just quickly find a Nightmare on Elm Street universe and get Freddy to come over and make sure she’ll believe it’s a dream.
How would I do that? Well, I would pay him, but I’m just going off from Family guy here, so I guess I would force him too.
How? Well, haven’t you seen Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Dream Warriors? Where the kids fight back by fighting Freddy in their dreams.
Well, anyway, we headed back to my place to have another beer and shit. Also, we took photo’s body, and put it in the middle of Stalia’s streets. Yea, she wasn’t awake when I used the spell, because the thing us, with the spell, the dead thing will still be alive, but it knocks out whatever you casted the spell on.
So anyway, we headed back to my place, and when we got back, we heard a noise coming from somewhere. We looked all around and eventually found out it was coming from a trunk. When I found about this noise, I was shocked this place had a trunk. I mean, you just don’t use those anymore. Then again. This is like the renaissance and shit.
We opened it, hoping Wolf would be there, but unfortunately, it was a random pony who jumped on us and started to hit us with a blunt lead pipe. He eventually took all of us down and ran away.
By the way, later in time, we find that the pony that attacked our asses was a pony called poker. Well, this is MLP, so you can’t really complain can you.
We decided that we had enough of this shit, and went to the bar. Yea, the bar was an all night bar, but of course, the only ponies in there were drunks and ponies that wanted to commit suicide. That and pedophiles and rapists.
In fact, while I was there, I made friends with a rapist. We had good conversation, although, he tried to keep going to the conversation about raping. As for the pedophiles, they talked as if they had problems. Scary problems. So we made sure to stay ten feet away from them at all times.
But I got bored so I just shot them in the head for target practice, while the bar tender didn’t give a flaming fuck. Apparently he’s seen enough weird shit at night, he passes it as normal. We stayed there until dawn, which we were about to leave when poker came back with few of his stallions.
His stallions pinned us down with their magic, while poker told us he had Wolf. He told us we could have him, if we gave him the 80,000 bits we stole from him, which apparently, we stole from him the night we had the hangover.
Of course, you must be saying, ‘but didn’t the black pony had wolf?’ well, maybe he was the black pony, and maybe he was getting pissed off since we hadn’t exchanged the ransom. By the way, the ransom note said the we could have wolf back if we exchanged it for poker, which we didn’t even knew the pony who’d we stolen 80,000 bits from was poker.
We found that out later. His stallions then let us go and told us the time and place to be for the exchange. We then sat there, pondering in our heads of what to do. Jack said there was no way we could get eighty thousand bits within a limited amount of time. Besides, there was no way we could get eighty thousand bits in this area of Equestria.
Well, lucky for me, when I found the universes and all, I figured out a way to count cards and shit. Also, remember how good my teleportation spell is? In addition, for those Bronies out there, you recall a city in MLP called Las Pegasus.
Saying, we went to Las Pegasus, and I counted cards, got over eighty thousand bits, and left to exchange it for Wolf. The place that we had to go and meet was near the edge of the Everfree. Makes sense.
I mean, if drugs were illegal here and there were drug dealers, I’m guessing that how they would do their transactions. We then gave poker the money first and he gave us Wolf.
They uncovered the bag over Wolf’s head, which by the way, I know I’m leaving many details out, but he bagged Wolf’s head like in the hangover how that Asian guy bagged black Doug’s head. Well, it wasn’t Wolf, but black Wolf.
Of fucking course, just like in the Hangover. How could you tell this was black Wolf, he had a black guy voice. How did this timber wolf talk? Apparently, he was the only natural talking timber wolf, which was basically a one in a million chance of a mutation happening to the animals of the Everfree.
Of course, poker said in an Asian accent that of course he was Wolf, and then left us with black Wolf. We then took black Wolf along with us, since we did pay eighty thousand bits for him.
That and he was far from home, so I just thought I he could tag along and be the new Wolf until we got the old wolf back if Wolf was somehow to do, well, at least I could have a cheap sitcom about a white pony and a black wolf, going on crazy adventures. I could just imagine it. I can just think of the theme song right now.
He was a white pony. He was a black wolf. So one day, they met in a racist bar. They joked around And became best friends. Now they are a white guy and black guy Going on crazy adventures, diving through the deep blue Going into space, Smoking weed, And drinking beer and getting drunk. They are the white guy and black guy The best of best friends. And one of them is a white guy And a black, So this makes it special for the audience
Well, I didn’t say I was the best at writing lyrics. If you recall chapter 3, this is why I didn’t put down the lyrics for that song me and Wolf sang. Anyway, we were at my place, stumped. We didn’t know what to do, until Mac brought up that Neon knew who the black pony was.
Yes, apparently, Neon did some business with him before in his past. So, Jack and I both yelled at Mac, asking why didn’t he tell us this before. We then quickly headed to the hospital and dumped black Wolf along at Arrells house.
I also told Arrell, just to be sure, if we fail to find wolf, I’ll still have the white guy and black guy thing still going on. We quickly ran through the hospital, and went into Neon’s room.
Forest was the only one still there, while Arrell went to the bar. Forest woke up, and asked what the fuck we were doing. We ignored him, and I tried to wake Neon up.
Well, he woke up, but with anger. He grabbed my neck with his hoof, and looked straight dead into my eyes as if he was taking my soul. Funny thing is, since Neon broke laws of physics and shit, he did take ponies souls in the past.
He talked to me in a venom voice and threw me against the wall. He then told me to apologize to him, which I did, because I don’t think it’s a smart move to piss off a god like being. He then was satisfied, and went back to his weird ways, even though he just got out of a comma.
Jack then asked him if he could take us to the black pony’s lair, and he said yes. We were then teleported there, along with him. We were then luckily in the room Wolf was in, took him, and Neon teleported us back.
Of course, the black pony would get our ass for this, but that wouldn’t be till much later in the future. We then thanked Neon for helping us and he said we were welcomed and disappeared into a random pony’s house.
Apparently, the random pony saw him, and Neon just shut him up, and said, “shhhhhhhh. Not a word.”
That just creeps me the fuck out every time I think of it. In addition, if you’re wondering how Neon got his powers back, if you recall in the last chapter where his powers were taken away from him. Yea, I still don’t know how. It just came back at complete random.
Anyway, I brought Wolf back with me to my place, and Jack and Mac felt like celebrating with a few beers, so they were going to come over to my place after they go do something back at home. I brought Wolf back, and he asked me why the fuck was the tiger still there?
I then told him that he was the temporary Wolf till he got back. I also told him we were keeping him as a pet. He then agreed to it, and asked why another timber wolf was here. He had a good sense of smell. I then told him there was another talking timber wolf like him, but he was black.
Wolf then snickered at the thought of him being black. He was fucked up sometimes. In addition, I told Arrell he could let go of black Wolf, after he asked me where did a black talking wolf came from. In addition, I wondered what happened to Photo, because when we came back from getting Wolf, she wasn’t there anymore.
Earlier that day…….
Photo woke up with a little bit of a headache. She slowly got up, and looked at her surroundings, wondering where the fuck she was at.
She then saw somepony, and said, “Who are you!? You are perfect! You are my new star of my new lines of fashion! You will become my new star!”
she said all of that in a Nazi German voice. She was talking to one of the dead bodies that were lying around the town of Stalia.
Photo grabbed and picked up the dead body, and hugged it, saying how she has finally found what she had been looking for. She then raped the dead body as she does with all of her clients, and worked with the dead body.
The dead body is one of Equestrians’ most famous fashion star to this date and the town of Stalia has recognized one of its citizens for being famous, and now has a day dedicated to the dead body. The dead body is now currently on tour, showing off its latest fashion design.
Photo also got AIDS from the dead body after she had raped it, and still is doing fine with the AIDS, as all Germans do since all Germans have AIDS.
BACK IN STALIA……
Sometimes I don’t try to think about what happened to her. Along as no one come questioning if I had to do something with her disappearance, it’s all fine. Besides, I always knew she was an alien from alien.
If you don’ t get what I’m saying , here’s the thing. If you recall the picture perfect pony song, I mean, who hasn’t at this point, right? Well, in the video, she said you will go to the stars, where no one can hear you scream. Now that’s the slogan for the first alien movie. Now that, just says it all for me.
In addition, to let you know, that during this adventure, Mac said we were like a pack of friends. A wolf pack. Yea, that had to come. I mean, this is ripping off from the Hangover a little but whatever.
In addition, if you’re wondering what the fuck happened to the alien and the gnome guy, they died by killing each other, but eventually comes back somehow. Well, anyway, Jack and Mac came over to celebrate and shit.
In addition, Jack brought along a photo album, since somehow it came in the mail not too long ago. Apparently, it’s the photos we took when we had our hangover. We all agreed we wouldn’t share the photos with anyone and never look at it again.
We all looked at it, and it was more fucked up then the photos then the Hangover movies. I would show it here, but I don’t have them. But trust me, they were messed up.
However, I guess I have to give you something Hangoverish, so I’ll just give you the music from the end credits’ of the song.
*note: that i put the ending song music there because i inmagined if this was actully animated, it would have those songs at the end, along with the pictures. also, the first video is only for the music, the picture, i just did that bideo for you guys, i guess.so you can choose which ending song you would want to be at the end of this chapter or episode. whatever you want to call it.*
Well, I’m sure you all enjoyed my tale of the hangover.
The thing is, this canon part of my story actually didn’t happen right after the hangover part. In fact, it happened after 3 days.
I believe the universe was giving me a break for once. Well, at least it wasn’t being a dick this time around, by the way, this time around, it returned to being a dick. So where shall I begin.
Well, Arrell was near the edge of the Everfree. Not to collect flowers for Celestia’s visit. No. he was there to breed the animals, because at a town meeting, the town voted for Arrell to breed his animals outside of the town’s limits.
I mean, he was breeding the animals in front of children, so Arrell was force to breed his animals outside of town. I mean, Arrell was pissed off by this, he threaten to kill everyone in town for this, but it didn’t happen.
In addition, I forgot to tell that Celestia was coming for a visit. Apparently, also Luna and Twilight as well. I had no fucking clue why they were coming. I mean, I don’t even believe it even said so why in the episode.
I mean, if it’s just to check up on me, then why didn’t they just send fucking Twilight. Then again, she does have a crush on me, although at the time, it was about when she discovered she had a crush on me, so I guess you could say it would be better to either send Luna or Celestia over I guess. I really don’t fucking know.
Well, like I said before, Arrell was breeding the animals, and were feeding them as well. I also think Arrell was planning on trolling the town for putting that law against him because he was making a awful lot of fucking animals with diabetes and AIDS.
Also, haven’t you notice by now, that my story of my life here so far has a lot of AIDS related shit going on. It’s either from the Zebras, or there’s a weird type of epidemic, where not that where you die from AIDS, but it’s used in a weird way.
When Arrell was just about done making his weapons, I mean animals breed correctly.
I swear to fucking god (this universe’s god) if PETA reads this, gets offended by the use of the animals, and sue me for it, or whatever those hippies do, and then I’ll just put them down.
Besides, according to Ruck Rucka Ali, hippies smell. That or PETA will make a fake game, where the animals that Arrell made would be trying to kill him.
Maybe they should try to kill Mac. I mean, if you recall on what I said back in Chapter 11, how back in Chapter 6 how Mac fucked up the animals and made them talk like from alien resurrection, which was a shitty fucking movie.
Yea, I mean, it’s been what, 9 Chapters since Chapter 6, and I’m still complaining about it. It just shows how much one little thing can fuck up and affect the entire future.
I mean, sometimes I have nightmares about those of fucking hybrid abominations.
Anyway, while Arrell was packing everything up, Arrell came across a Parsprite. Dam it pinkie pie. She knew how to lead them away, but not keep them from going to other places.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Knight, why not just have Neon (since he breaks the laws of fucking physics) or pinkie to get rid of them?”
And if that’s not what you’re thinking, and got lost in the story, where no shit seems to make any fucking sense at all, then you’re not alone. Trust me, even I get lost, and I’m the one who fucking experienced it.
Anyway, that answer to the question is, well, you’ll see why later.
Well, Arrell saw this creature, and thought it would be unique to add to his collection or slaves I guess, pick your guess. I mean, your guess is as good as mine is. Well, he fucking took it.
Therefore, I’m guessing the word of parasprite never got out enough, or maybe not to this town. Therefore, Arrell took a parasprite, and now we’re going to have a parasprite problem.
Ok, so remember how Celestia and her bitchs I guess you could call them, were coming over to Stalia? Well, if you recall in the episode, Twilight was worried and paranoid as Stalin was.
What? I can’t make a history joke? At least a Russian joke? Then again, I did made one.
It just means that all bears comes from Russia and that what the bears are like. They just don’t invade the cities, that’s all. Anyway, I wasn’t paranoid. In fact, I didn’t give a flaming fucking dam fuck. In fact, I was passed out, while Wolf was laughing his ass off at nothing, because he was high.
We even had slow ride playing the background. Of course, I have a magic spell for that.
It’s like an app. Like, need a hitman? There’s an app for that. Need to grab the nearest illegal Mexican and force him to work for you? there’s an app for that. Need a Jew? There’s an app for that. You get the fucking point.
And to tell you spell name, it’s called the weed music spell.
In addition, Wolf got a letter from Celestia. It was just a reminder letter, saying how she was going to come and shit.
Well, of course, I never open Celestia’s letters, for the most part. Besides, I was passed out, from trying to break my own drinking record again. I was shooting for 11 tequilas this time around.
I mean, I was hanging upside down from the couch, with sunglasses that wasn’t straight, with a joint in my hoof, while strangely, my hat was still on.
Anyways, Wolf got the letter, opened it, laughed at it, put weed in it, rolled it up, and smoked it. Now I know that Wolf.
Always doing crazy shit like that.
Then the doorbell rang, but of course, I was still passed out, so Wolf got the door. It was Arrell, who was dropping something off that I asked him to get me.
It was a lighter. Wolf and I had something planned for Celestia. Here’s the thing. We were planning to put dead bodies in three cannons, and shoot them at her, for being a trollestia and shit.
I don’t give a flaming fuck if the universe makes it disappear. I want to at least try to do it. Why dead bodies you may ask?
Well, all the dead bodies were made when I first came over here. trust me, even though you’re aware of that there was only a few moments where there was a dead body, but trust me, there was a lot more you guys are unaware of.
Of course, I was going to lay the dead bodies all over town as well. I even paid some pony to bring out the canons and shit when Celestia gets here.
We just needed a lighter to set off the canons. In addition, I should correct myself, before stupid people think and comment on the story on something that I fucked up on this part.
It wasn’t a lighter, it was a matchstick. Sure, I know I have a light when I smoke my weed, but that’s my lighter, and not for pranking Trollestia and shit. Anyways, when Wolf went to get the matchsticks, Wolf was still laughing his ass off.
Even Arrell asked why he was laughing, but Wolf told him that I was with a spirit of peace. In other words, hippie talk.
of course, Arrell did any other sane person would do, which was back up slowly, and pretend he didn’t see or hear what he saw or heard.
After a few minutes passed, I soon was no longer passed out.
I mean, my brain hurt, but I was still ok. I went to the bathroom, looked at myself, and I looked like a doucebag as always.
As I was taking a piss, I was teleported outside to the park, where every pony else was cleaning up for Celestias arrival. I was taking a fucking piss, and then teleported. The thing is that no one saw me in that awkward position I was in when I ever take a piss. Not a single fucking soul. In addition, my pee was gone. I didn’t have to go anymore, so basically saying, the universe did that to me.
Therefore, I guess the universe figured out that since I was planning to troll Trollestia, it was going to troll me. Well played universe. Well played.
I then said fuck it and decided on checking out the decorations. I walked through the park and saw ok shit. I mean, it wasn’t good shit, nor wasn’t it bad shit, but ok shit. Just like the good kind of rape and the bad kind of rape. Confused? Me too.
Let’s move on.
I also saw the banner that was being was being raised, which read welcome Celest instead of Celestia. Of course, I told the two ponies that they got it all worng, and it should be Trollestia.
However, they heard the complete opposite of what I said, and they heard me say, “You could try by redoing it and making sure the letters fit on the banner.”
Well, the universe is extra pissy that day or was it? In addition, I noticed what the banner was written in, and it was fucking crayon. Why that? That’s for fucking kids. This is for the ruler of Equestria, Celestia. Pardon my launguge and me. I completely forgot. Trollestia.
Also, will ever let the Trollestia thing go. Eventually later on, I will. I then went to the party shop and to check on Neon. Ok, I was only checking to make sure he didn’t fucking poisoning anything.
I mean, even though you can tell, I’m not a fan of Celestia and shit, I still care for her though. I mean, I don’t want her dead. If I wanted her dead, I would’ve done it already. I mean, remember, the god like being here.
Well, thankfully Neon wasn’t poisoning any shit, but he was teleporting the cakes and treats to somewhere else. Well, to that one place Neon went after I had that hangover adventure.
Also, I really havn’t heard from that guy Neon went to from last Chapter. Last thing that I heard, some pony heard screams from his room, but the screams stopped.
I’m starting to get scared now by Neon. Are you scared of Neon? If so, I guess you could use it as a ghost story. I wasn’t sure what Neon was doing with those cakes with that dead guy, although, at least I think he’s dead, but I don’t want to know.
In addition, Neon didn’t just teleported the cakes to that dead guy, but also to Jack’s cousin, who has the orphan child.
IN MANEHATTEN…… “Dam it! Son of a fucking Bitch! First Jack sends me his Fucking slave child to me! Now I have fucking cakes and shit all over my fucking dam floor that piece of mother fucking crap son of a bitch!” said the angry cousin.
The child saw the delectable treats from his box and grabbed one before the cousin chopped off his hoof for taking shit that wasn’t in the box.
Soon, the child got diarrhea and Malaria. BACK IN STALIA……
I somehow feel somewhat bad for that child. Then again, why should I since I don’t know what the fuck happened to him and if he’s alive or not.
Soon, Arrell came in, and said he had something to ask us.
He wanted to know if bees could fuck the strange species of bugs that he found. Apparently, Arrell wanted to make round bees or something.
When I saw what he had, I then had a shocked face. I then walked up to him and grabbed one of those little fuckers and teleported to Ponyville.
I went to Twilights door and knocked, but no one answered.
I then walked around for a few minutes and eventually found her talking with her girls. For some odd reason, I just find that wrong to say. I just do. I mean, think about for a minute.
Anyway, she asked me why I was there in Ponyville, and not getting ready for her coming. That also sounded wrong in a way, but for some reason, I feel proud of it.
I then showed her the parasprite and asked her, “How the fuck did these little fuckers get out of the Everfree?” surprisingly this time, she heard me fucking curse, although, there was that one time she did, but she rolled her eyes at me, if you recall from one of the chapters.
Anyway, the elements were in fucking shock that a parasprite has came back, although I told them it was only in Stalia and they were relived.
Those mother fucking bitchs.
After all, of the shit I did… no wait. I didn’t do jackshit for them. Well played universe. Well played.
Therefore, Twilight just told me to take Pinkie Pie down there to get rid of them. Pinkie agreed to do so, but she would have to do something first, so it would be later in the day.
Until then, I would have to keep these little bastards at home until Pinkie could get here. Now that I mention bastards, looking back at the parasprites remind me of Adult swims game, my little bastard. Maybe adult swim made the parasprites.
I mean, if you recall that one time, when they made that bump for Bronies, it said how they are creped out and shit about Bronies. Maybe they were up to this. Which, by the way, I actually thought this at the time and went to do a little investigation.
Well, I went home and Wolf saw this and was shocked. I mean, he had seen the episode, which by the way, he has seen all the episodes, well, at least until season 3. I didn’t get a chance to show him season 4, but whatever.
Well, I told him I was going to do an experiment on these little bastards. I was always curious of what these things were made out of anyway.
Therefore, I went down to my secret basement, and did some research. What I found out was that it has some relations to a fly, and some manmade genetics and a little bit from a bee. Now there was one more thing it was made up of.
It was fucking AIDS. Maybe Arrell was right when he made that excuse when the dragon came that one time. In others words, these are flying AIDS, and soon, there was going to be a swarm of AIDS.
In addition, while I was doing this, Arrell gave one to everyone of my fucking friends.
He gave one to Neon, although I wasn’t too worried about that, because in the end, Neon set those paraisprites on fire and took it to the place where I believe was the dead body was at.
He had given one to Jack and Forest. Forest was putting on a suit for when Celestia came, while Jack was making it. In addition, just to make sure and clear any information up, that Jack is not gay. I mean, I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that when someone reads this, they are going to think that Jack was gay, although even though he never showed any of the signs, but just because he works with fashion.
I’m just afraid someone is going to think that, just because he makes suits and shit. Well, he’s not gay. Moving on.
As for Mac, he didn’t want any, but only because he had thought that they carried AIDS and didn’t want to touch it. Well, for one thing, he was right about the AIDS.
However, they don’t spread the AIDS, unless for some odd reason some pony tries to fuck it. Which, by the way, some pony did. Well, not a pony, but an old woman did it.
Now she has AIDS, but she already had AIDS when she had fucked bees.
In addition, this was the same old woman from chapter 12, and if you recall, she loved pain and had a dark side with it.
Therefore, after I did my research, I told TK to figure out what the human quality DNA that was made part of the little creature. I mean, I’m starting to think it was Adult Swim now.
Well, I decided to go to sleep, although, bad move on my part, because when I woke up, there were about an army of those little fuckers.
They were taking shit and doing shit. It was insane. Also, what happened to fucking Pinkie Pie!? She didn’t even fucking come. That fucking bitch. Although, she didn’t pinkie promise, so I guess that’s an excuse.
Well, good news, pinkie came that morning with her band shit, and started to play to get rid of mines first. Well, unfortunately, the things didn’t follow her. Even Pinkie was confused.
Well, she said she was sorry, and went to get Twilight, although, she never came back. Who knows? Maybe since she breaks the laws of physics and all, maybe she went into another universe, came back, and forgot what she wanted to do.
Apparently, these things adopt quickly. They were like predators, which actually gave me an idea, although, I sent Wolf to do it, and gave him plenty of guns and ammo since it would be dangerous, but I casted spells on him before and he shouldn’t get hurt. I then tracked down a predator universe, opened it, and Wolf then jumped through it. I then went back to MLP and went to visit the other guys.
In addition, by the way, there was some missing food in the fridge. Apparently, Wolf fed them after midnight. That fucking dumbass. Didn’t he know about gremlins. I mean, I even showed him the movie. Know what?
From now on, I am going to call these things either AIDS or gremlins.
Well, I went to check on the others and see how they were doing with their gremlins. Forest was sleeping in his cloud castle or whatever the fuck it was.
Speaking of cloud shit. I always wondered what the fuck Rainbows house looked like. I mean, we do get a few glimpses of it like two or three times, but that’s it, other then what it looks like on the outside of course.
Well, Forest wasn’t sleeping in his bed, but on his cloud couch, since he had cloud beers.
Yes, you read right, cloud beers. From what I’ve heard, only Alicorns and pegasi can drink it. I mean, I had one, and of fucking course, you’re must be wondering how did I do it.
Well, that answer will come later in the future. Anyway, Forest woke up on his couch and saw the AIDS had multiplied. He then ran outside his house and went to find a solution, I think.
Well, I went to Jack’s first and Jack was standing outside of his house. I also saw fire inside. From what Jack has told me, when he woke up, his shit or his work was on fire.
Yes. Apparently, the gremlins lit his shit on fire. Well, now we have two Macs. Besides. I was relieved a little, because I thought he had burned it down for the insurance money. Then again, insurance for fire didn’t exist here. Well, with Neon, as I said before, he went with to what I believe with the dead body he had hiding in the building.
I’m really starting to get scared of Neon now. I mean, he’s like a creepy pasta pony or something. Creeps me the fuck out.
Well, after I had that thought in my head. Yea, I actually didn’t know, but Neon did hint and mentioned it a few times.
Anyways, jack, Forest, and I went to check up on Arrell. When we saw the door open to his house, we took a look in.
what we saw was what the fuck man. We saw all the animals that Arrell owned was humping and fucking the gremlins. In addition, where was Arrell?
He was sitting down in his chair, had his hoof on his chin, as in a thinking position, while have a poker face expression. He then said to us, “I believe I may have figured out why my animals are always fucking. It’s their hormones.”
That actually made a lot of sense. I mean, don’t you remember when you were a teenager; you always had the feel to fuck or hump something. So yea. Those animals were teenagers.
What came next was Mac riding in with some apples. He said, “Ok Arrell. I’ve got those apples you asked for. Since I’m pretty sure these are for those little buggers there and not for you or your animals since you never ask for them. I’ve got them from my cousin Applejack’s farm; since her apples taste like crap and mine is much better then hers.”
Mac has many problems with his cousin Applejack. Maybe I also need an intervention with him one day. Now only if I could do one for Neon. Yea, the intervention didn’t happen yet. Although, at the next town hall meeting, I was going to try to have a petition that Neon has an intervention.
Well, the gremlins then ate all the apples up quickly as shit. Don’t know what I said there, but ok then. Well, then Mac decided to round them up and put them in the Everfree.
Therefore, we collected them all.
In addition, when I mean by collecting them, I mean lighting them on fire and bury them in the Everfree. In addition, that’s what we did.
We lit those fuckers on fire as if it was the 4th of the July. We then collected all the burned dead bodies, buried them in the Everfree forest, and went to clean up the mess that they had made.
Well, after an hour of cleaning up or so, they came back. They came back from the fucking dead. Like I said. They adapt quickly. Shit fuck.
Therefore, what happened next, we were going to up and leave the town, and leave everyone behind in the town. Yea, my friends and I were assholes.
Well, we were going to do that, but unfortunately, the universe had something planned for me. I randomly did a spell, which turned the gremlins into pony killers.
Ok now. Apparently, the universe really wants me to die then. Well two can play at that game.
Although, it would take a while for me to figure something out for the universe. Moving on.
After I casted the spell, Forest looked at me, and said, “Oh look. You just fucked Equestria. Thanks Knight. Thanks.”
I wanted to tell him it was the universe making me to it, but of course, he wouldn’t believe me. Maybe Neon would, which I actually did.
As a response, I got “the universe only hates you, because you hate It.” he was kind of right. Maybe he isn’t a psychopath. Maybe he a philosopher psychopath.
Well, what happened next was, well, I went almost insane. I had a crazy look on my face and the Princesses were coming.
I then said aloud, which by the fucking way, the universe made me say it, that I said, “Ok. Here’s the plan. Half of the town will distract the gremlins, while the other half builds in exact replica of the town, so Celesita will not notice anything that shit has gone wrong.”
Yea, I was crazy.
I was crazy for trying to redo that one part from that one western movie, where the town was preparing for an attack on the town, where they build an exact cheap replica of it, which the towns wins the battle.
They then randomly celebrate, but then start hitting each other, and ending up crashing into a movie set where there, was gay people singing and dancing in a very weird and odd way.
I have no fucking clue what the movie is called, but that’s what will happen if we do that idea. Actually, note to self, look for alternate universe where that happen and see how it will play out.
Now, then out of nowhere, predators come to attack the gremlins. Also, Wolf came back. He was a little scratched up, but was good. All he needed was some weed and beer, and he would be all set and good to go.
The predators were slaughtering those gremlins, and the gremlins starting flying back to the Everfree. They also went into a formed line like in the episode.
In addition, while that was happening, the Princesses arrived on their chariots. All of my friends went to see their arrival, and Princess Celestia stepped down, but the others did not.
In addition, Twilight had a bit of a worried look on her face, but I guess it was that she was worried that I didn’t fix the problem with the gremlins.
In addition, Celestia then said to me, “Knight! My star pupil!”
I just found that odd, because wasn’t Twilight her star pupil and shit. Then again, she is the ruler so I guess she could have many pupils as she fucking wanted. Fuck. Maybe enough to have a fivesome or a twentyonesome.
Actually, that would just be a big ol’ orgy. Whatever, moving on.
After she said that, the gremlins were walking by, and Celestia had that weird eye movement I always see whenever she is in an episode.
While she was looking at those gremlins, I said, “So, how was the trip? Catched any traffic?”
That was the stupidest fucking thing I have ever said. I mean, there’s fucking nothing in the sky at all, but apparently, the universe thinks different.
Why the fuck would you get any traffic in the sky, other then pegisi and birds. That’s it, and they will either get out of the way or you smash into them. Simple as that.
Then Celestia said, “What is this. I see you and the town of Stalia has thrown a parade in my honor of my visit, just like Twilight did.” and I went like, “yea, sure. We threw you a parade.”
I also saw the guy I paid to dump the dead bodies on Celestia, and I told him in a loud whisper, “Hide the dead bodies. Hide the dead bodies!”
Celestia then said she was treeiably honored. I’m not making that up. She even said that in the episode. I don’t understand. Maybe it’s an Alicorn thing. I will never understand Celestia. She used to be cool, but know I think she’s mentally unstable.
Well, she then told my friends and me that they had to go, because they had an infestation problem in Las Pegasus. Yea, apparently, some predators escaped and went to Las Pegasus. Yea, there were many dead ponies.
Therefore, they went up and left to take care of the problem. By the way, the predators left Las Pegasus before the princesses arrived, and they went somewhere deep in a jungle to live happily ever after.
Well, for a while until I found them again, this is another story for another time. so, when the princesses left, I was happy, although, I wouldn’t get my money back since I paid that one guy to dump the dead bodies all over Celestia and all, but I had a smile, since I knew this was finally over.
While I was smiling, ponies were running ramped through the streets, because there was still a predator problem.
Well, fortunately, TK was here to give me something about the Adult Swim people, which he then pushed back and knocked out all the predators and put them in the Everfree to be eaten by the timber wolves.
In addition, after TK did this, TK told me that the gremlins were made and were brought back by the Adult Swim group. I’m not even fucking kidding.
The Adult Swim group was in this universe. How are these humans coming here!? Is there like a rip through time and space or did Neon break the laws of physics, and brought the humans through it, or the humans saw the portal and shit, I don’t know anymore, all right?
Well, when TK said that the gremlin thing was Adult Swim’s fault, three people who are basically who run Adult Swim, came up from behind the bushes, and by the way, these are guys are in pony form, which is following of the universal rules and all.
They got up and said, “Dam it Dam it Dam it. Ponies have ruined our plans. We were going to kill these ponies, show them to the Bronies, and make them all lose hope in the show and they will stop being pony lover mother fuckers. We will have our revenge one day! You’ll regret it!” and they said all of that while running away into the equestrian desert, which they would be possibly be killed by diamond dogs.
Well, after that, everything went back to the way it was, well, for at least 12 hours.
Ok, so I was still in bed, and didn’t wake up till around like almost lunch time or whatever. I was tired from yesterday’s events and I really didn’t feel like getting up.
I mean, I didn’t even want to go outside and do something that the universe wanted me to do. I mean, sure, the universe could just teleport me outside and do whatever, but that day, I really was going to put up a fight.
So, when I woke up, Wolf was sleeping in his bed,along with Molestia at his side. By the way, those two have been really getting at it at the time. I mean, they have been doing nonstop fucking almost every night.
I mean, Molestia will sometimes do me when I’m sleeping, which she is the sleeping fucker I guess, and sometimes when I’m awake.
Well, I looked at them, and they were sleeping and shit. In addition, if you’re wondering how does a big ass Alicorn fits in Wolf’s bed, well, they were on the floor fucking, so, technically, its Wolf’s bed, which is the floor.
In addition, he was fucking Princess Molestia in it.
Also, as for the fluids that come out of Molestia and all. Wolf cleans it up. Moreover, if you think Wolf cleans it with his mouth and he puts it inside him, then you are the sickest fuck that I know, and really are thinking too deep into this.
He manually cleans it up with a towel. If you thought that, then why? I mean, Wolf knows it’s disgusting at the same time to put inside his mouth. Whatever you sick fuck. I’m not the one thinking those thoughts. Did I just blow your mind there or what?
Well, anyway, Molestia got up, used her magic to carry Wolf back to her chambers, where they will continue to fuck, since I was awoken, that and the tiger was still asleep, and didn’t want to hear all the moaning coming from them while they were doing it. Yea, I still had the tiger.
Anyway, she got up, and thanked for last night. Yes, apparently, the sleeping fucker strikes again at me that night, while doing it, although, she sort of drugged me and I was half awake while she did me.
Oh well. This is pretty much my daily routine now, ever since I got to Stalia and all.
Well, Molesta let herself out, and I kind of laid there for a while thinking about that Lauren Faust dream that I had again.
Yes, I had it once again. I even recall in the dream, I was myself, with the usual little bit dark blue. Yea, I never specified my color coat.
Pardon me, but let me explain. My coat color is like Luna’s except lighter, but it’s a dark blue color.
In addition, to give you a better description of my friends, Neon looks like wooden Toaster’s OC, but with some differences, and Forest’s mane I fucked up on.
It isn’t black, but of a fire-ish color mane or a color to be specific that would go with his fire like coat. Got a better description now?
Anyways, as I was saying, I was in the kingdom, with Lauren Faust’s OC pony. She looked happy and smiled at me, and said something in a motherly tone, which would make since, since she is like the creator of Celestia and she has a motherly tone.
So it’s like Celestia inherited that or something. I don’t know. I am just confusing you more then what I should.
However, I couldn’t make out the words, because they weren’t clear to me, however, for some reason, I was shaking my head, as if I was understanding it.
In addition, I was in a stone room, with a like a light bluish portal or something. I don’t know, it’s like a hidden chamber or something.
Of course, have I told this to Wolf yet? The answer is no, because something tells me not to, and I just try to push that thought aside of the dream that I had, so I can move on with life.
However, at the time, I couldn’t shake the feeling off from the dream that I had…. I had something to do with it. I mean, at the time, it was as if it was my weakness.
Sometimes I couldn’t even get to sleep because of it. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m connected to it somehow. As if, I was meant to be here.
As in, I was supposed to go to this universe. Although, I’ve kind of figured that out, ever since the universe keeps trying to FUCKING TROLL ME AND MAKE ME DO SHIT!!! Sorry, I just had to let out some steam. Moving on.
As for the dream, that can be discussed father as we move along the story in the future. However, I still couldn’t shake the weird feeling off me.
Anyhow, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and did my mane and shit. What? My mane can sometimes look like a doucebag and shit, whenever I wake up in the morning.
I mean, it’s not long or anything, but I don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag in public. Besides, I’m pretty fucking sure whenever you go out in public, you don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag.
Anyways, I went downstairs to smoke some weed. I actually made a hybrid weed. I took all the kinds of weed, and made it into one.
It’s really hard to do so, so I saved it for special moment. So that day, I felt like doing one. I was about to light one of the special weed, but I got a knock on my door. I grunted and went to the door and opened it.
To my surprise, it was Neon. He had a nervous look on his face. I mean the only other time I recall something like that was when we had that Zebra Problem.
What was her name again? Don’t remember. That’s why I call her black guy pony, so just in case I can’t remember her real name, I can name her by a fake one that I gave her.
Therefore, when I opened the door, Neon pounced on me and said he needed my help. Of course, I pushed him off, and said to fuck off. He kept saying that I didn’t understand.
Oh no, I perfectly understand. He just wants to harvest my organs in his little hidden basement in the party shop. Well, I will not be fooled by a…. whatever he is.
However, he kept saying that he had lost his ability to break laws of physics. Therefore, he is self aware of it. That means it’s only a matter of time before the universe explodes, because that’s what it seems to me that way.
I mean, Neon is random, so that just makes perfect sense to me.
He kept on begging me, to which it got to a point where I agreed to do so, which he had a smile on his face. I then asked him what we had to do.
Neon then said, “If I need to get my powers back. There’s only one place that I would know where that would be at. On Planet Random!”
You read right. Planet fucking random. So he’s like an alien, although, he isn’t, which I’ll explain later about that. At least I knew where he had his powers from, so that means if I could destroy the source of it, it would no longer give him the power. Whatever, just thinking at random there.
Anyway, I then said no, because I actually believe on that one. Well, if you ever spend a week with Neon, you will believe everything that he says. He then told me we had to, since there was a predator attack.
Oh, right, forgot to mention. Remember those predators from the last chapter, well, not all were dead. In fact, the ones that have survived adapted to TK’s fighting skills, so they can no longer be killed by him.
In other words, Equestria was fucked.
In fact, Neon showed me through a window, and I saw ponies running away from the predators. In fact, it was really bloody out there. Blood and guts everywhere and flying everywhere as well.
I then decided to go with Neon, but only to fix the problem. I then asked him how we get to planet Random, and he said to Twilights library.
We then ran outside, and as we were doing so, we were dogging predator’s attacks. I mean, it’s like the Asians from Vietnam.
I mean, they were coming out of the trees man. They were coming from the bushes man. Now I’m talking like a Vietnam soldiers man. Note to self, stop smoking weed from Vietnam soldiers.
Moving on, we eventually got out of Stalia and went through the Everfree, which took us almost all day to get through. I mean, since I was like the king of the Everfree, no animals harmed us, but it was still a long ass way that we walked.
We eventually reached Ponyville and the sun was setting and by now, word has gotten out that the predators attacking Stalia and is advancing to other areas.
I then went to Twilights door, I knocked, she opened, and Neon let himself in. what an impolite guest. He then started to throw books off the shelves and knocking on the wood.
Twilight opened her mouth and was about to ask, but I said to her to shut the fuck up, “I’m more confused then you are right now.”
She then nodded her head, and eventually Neon found a hollow spot in the shelves walls, and punched through it and grabbed a book out from it.
First off, there was already a hidden book in the tree house, if you recall from one of the episodes. You just wonder whom the fuck built the place.
Also, dam. Neon is one fucking strong ass pony. He is just a fucking badass and shit.
Neon flipped through some pages from the book, and eventually found what he was looking for. He then sat the book down, and started to read in what sounded like Muslim and Asian language put together, as if some kind of hybrid.
I always knew he was Osama bin pony. He’s a traitor to the rebel alliance and why am I trying to quote star wars? That was fucking ridicules.
Well, eventually Neon was finished and a big ass-fucking portal opened up in the room, while a bunch of chickens popped out of it. That or you can call the chicken’s scootaloos, since she was a chicken and shit.
They were pecking at the wood like woody wood pecker, except not high on cocaine like he was. I wonder why woddy never went to rehab for his addiction, because he seems to be high on crack in the cartoons. Don’t you agree?
Neon then told me to get through the portal, or klatu bitch will get me in my sleep. That is what he latterly said. You can just tell this is going to be a random chapter with random things in it.
I then went through it, since I was scared of what Neon said. I wasn’t afraid of what actually was going to happen, but Neon’s words just made me jump through the portal.
I blacked out when I went through, and of course, I dreamed of that Lauren Faust OC pony again.
I mean, when I first got to Equestria, it didn’t happen at first. However, for some reason, the longer I stayed there, the longer the more frequent the dreams were. They were starting to become one of my many weaknesses. Yea, a god like being that has weaknesses.
Well, at least I don’t only have one weakness, like that fucking bitch superman. What? You want to fucking complain and start a flame war?
Well, come on man, let’s bring it on then?! Bring it on bitch. I ain’t fucking afraid of you! Come at me Bro! Come at me! I’ll rip your spine out! Sorry for that, but you just don’t want to get into a flame war with me.
Then again, this is in a book, so technically, it wouldn’t be a flame war, and possibly when a human being finds this book where ever I fucking decide to put it at, you people will possibly won’t even find me to start the fucking flame war. So fuck you.
Therefore, what happened this time I was on clouds, and of course, the OC pony was there but along with Celestia and Luna, but they were fillies. As if, they were kids and growing up.
What the fuck does that mean you might ask? As I said, you just have to wait for the answer.
I mean, eventually, those dreams were going to prevent me from sleeping, because I just couldn’t sleep, with that weird feeling on me.
It’s like tony stark in Iron Man 3, how he couldn’t sleep because ever since New York and shit. I couldn’t sleep because of those dreams. And when I do sleep, it’s always that. They eventually stopped, but it only stopped when something that I discovered.
I soon woke up, with Neon staring in my face. He said he was trying to wake me up for 11 years. Of course, we were on planet random, which random shit happens all the time.
When I got up, I saw where we were, and it looked like a hybrid between earth and all creations that were from movies or shows or whatever the fuck that you do.
I mean, there was Lego people walking down the streets, while the dog from blues clues was doing its cousin. While Bob the builder just started hitting on weird chicks, while the wiggles were running away from Twinkies since they were pedophiles. This place was fucked up.
In addition, the sky was red or as if the apocalypse has arrived, the four horsemen of the apocalypse were there. Speaking of the horsemen. They were there!
However, there weren’t spreading terror, but shooting rainbows out of the horses asshole. Neon explained to me that was the daily rainbow that happens whenever a dog fucks a horse.
In addition, another thing to note is that the cities were pretty advanced then the human way of life or life back on Earth in other words. It was pretty high-tech. maybe we weren’t random, like these people were.
Anyway, Neon told me to follow him. I asked where, and he said to his parent’s house. Ok, so here is the thing. Neon was from the MLP universe.
However, when he was little or a child or a colt I should say, he was given god like powers and was then trained by Liam Nession, just like Batman and Darth Vader. However, it required him to leave Equestria, so he took his family along, and they have been living there ever since.
After a while, when Neon was about 18 years of age, he wanted to get back to his roots, and went back to Equestria to live out his days as a pony. Well, at least you get an origin story for Neon, right?
Well, we were walking or trotting to his old neighborhood, and as we were walking along, I saw some humans.
I asked what were those, just to make sure he wasn’t suspicious of me. He then said they were humans and they came from the planet Earth, which was not random as planet random.
Therefore, apparently, Neon has been to Earth, and knows everything about it. He says the human race will eventually fall and be extinct and what not and were not good to be with. Although, apparently on this planet of randomness was good to be with.
Well, when we got to Neon’s house, I saw three kids from the PJ’s playing jump rope with an electrical wire, while fucking a dog that was killing the pope in the pope mobile. Not making that up.
Neon then knocked on the door. Excuse me, he banged his head against the door, until there was a hole through it, and his father opened it up, and was a stereotypical father from the 50’s, while the mom looked like an ok mother.
One of Neon’s sisters was a crack head, while his brother was also normal like. Neon also has a little brother, which wanted to kill me and everyone around him. Basically, a psychopathic Emo.
I mean, I talked to the little kid, saying, “well, aren’t you a cute little fucker.”
His response, “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill all my brothers and sisters and mother and father. I will then destroy this planet, and then cut myself, while gang banging the prince of Egypt (the movie and the real one) while feeding a polar bear dog food. Then cry in a corner.”
Yea, that is what happens when you encounter an Emo. They just end up killing you at one point in your life. But at least you get into heaven that way, where the Nazis are at. Surprised? I am sure I’m more surprised then you are.
I mean, I can out surprise you and every possible way.
well, Neon’s mother offered me the guest bed in Neon’s bedroom, but I was afraid to say yes, because I’m pretty sure Neon was going to harvest my organs or kill me or do some weird fucking shit while I’m asleep.
Then again, he doesn’t have his powers, so it was until he got them back. Although, I was still afraid of him, because I can just feel like powers or not, he still looks into my souls with his eyes and preys on my innocence.
Now I have shivers down my back as I’m writing this down. Are you getting shivers right now? Moving on.
Therefore, I then said I had to use the bathroom, and Neon’s mother pointed me in the direction. In other words, she gave me a fucking map.
Although, it was simple, as in German language. She then gave me the map and lit the map on fire. This place certainly is random. Neon really does belong here and should stay here and never come back.
I mean, that way, other ponies can live and won’t be killed by him. Although, I’ll admit, I would miss him and his randomness shit fucks of feats that he does. Don’t know what I just said there, but I went to the bathroom, and everything seemed to be quite normal.
No unusual object out of place, although, surprisingly, Mr. Hanky was there and he humped and jumped from the toilet and said “howdy oh” and got the fuck out. That actually put a smile on my face, since its Mr. Hanky from south park.
He even gave me a little present, which was shit. Yea, I lit Mr. Hanky on fire for that present, and left him on a dogs doorstep. Yea, dogs doorstep. Don’t ask.
So, while I was in the bathroom, I was thinking of “No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria again,” and remembered the part of when TD trolled the D.O.R.K.S.
I remembered the part mostly about the Nixon one. Well, I decided to do something random, since I was on planet random and might as well try to fit in, because I was afraid that if I didn’t, these uh…. creatures on the planet would kill me for being a non-believer.
Well, I did exactly what the fan fic chapter said, which was to say Ronald Regan in the mirror five times and flush the toilet.
After I did that, I laughed my ass off, thinking how ridiculous that It was. Then, a Richard Nixon head slowly rose from the toilet and it talked.
It said, “I am Richard Nixon. Thank you for freeing me from the Muslims Russian Jews. They were fucking my head with a stick up a rods asshole. I am now your personal pet and will serve you till the end of time or will fuck you in your sleep and pee and your face, then explode at random.”
I then had a shocked horrid face look. I then said, “Well, at least it’s nothing like that biggie smalls joke myth from South Park.”
In addition, right when I said it, biggie smalls appeared with a gun to my head.
Then Neon busted in through the door, by using his crack head sister, who had a Sony walkman, listening to slow ride and strawberry fields forever, and busted her skull open, and was left there for dead, and Neon said, “hey man. Just checking up on you and….”
He then gasped and said, “you have a personal Nixon pet too!? Oh, my mother fucking spaghetti sweet baby black Jesus god this is fucking awesome. I have one too!! But it’s a Black Nixon.”
Then the black Nixon appeared right beside him, as if it came from another dimension.
He then said the N word to me, and for good reasons, I will never say that or write that word, because it’s quite fucking obvious why. In fact, pretend I didn’t put the N word there.
However, he said what’s up my N word, and put a gun to biggi smalls head and shot him and his body disappeared into oblivion.
In addition, when I mean Oblvion, I mean, the actual game of oblivion.
Then Neon said, “you know what we should do!?”
I then responded by, “I’m afraid to ask.”
Then Neon said, “we should have a battle to the death with our Nixon’s!! We can use the death battle arena at my old Pre-K teachers house.”
He then dragged me along a dirt road and we ended up in Neon’s old childhood teachers house.
We just busted in without knocking, although, it didn’t matter, because the teacher a Muslim Jew who was doing the Russian dance on top of a coffee table, with draft punk playing, ‘television rules the nation’ ,while there was an audience of dogs booing the Muslim Jew guy. It was as if I was going insane.
Neon then dragged me to the Muslims Jews hidden basement, where there was illegal cock fighting and a Nixon death battle.
There was a battle going on when we arrived, which was Lance Armstrong who had a Pokémon and a humping robot, fighting against a giant fucking Asian Nixon head.
The giant Nixon head said to the humping robot and Pokémon, “I am your god!! Bow down to me and all shall suffer the same fate as gay Nixon! And illegal Mexican Nixon as well!!!”
He then shot laser beams in and out of his eyes and killed his opponents and the person who had those Pokémon was Lance Armstrong.
He then said, “Dam it. Now I have cancer again.”
He then was teleported back to earth, or as in the earth you guys are in. apparently, this is how he got the steroids, by winning battles against giant Nixon head’s, but if he lost, he got cancer.
Nevertheless, if he lost to a black guy, he got AIDS. This chapter get’s more fucked up as we go, I know. I’m afraid too, but it’ll be over soon.
Then the Nixon head that won said, “I mother fucking win!! Take that super Asian Nixon head!” Then he exploded and super Asian Nixon head pissed on the audience and ate their legs. I’m starting to get scared of this planet the more that I think about it.
We were then teleported to the battle arena, where the people from the matrix came up to me, and gave me my weapon, which was a red pill, and gave Neon the blue pill.
We then took it, and Neon was just knocked out, while I hallucinated.
I imagined a giant chicken mask fighting Tara strong in a battle to the death, with turkeys fucking scarecrows in the ass, while beer rained, and I was in a field that was strawberries, while the beetles were playing “strawberries fields forever.”
The only thing that I enjoyed was the song. In addition, if that’s what really our lives are, and we’re just laying there in the strawberry fields, you know, since I took the red pill and all, then I rather stay here then go back to the strawberry fields.
Neon and I then woke up from being knocked out, and I saw a dead black Nixon head in front of me. Apparently, the heads were fighting while we were knocked out, and my Nixon head got a little violent.
He used his mouth and slaughtered the black Nixon head. When Neon saw this, he said, “Dam it. You killed my Black Nixon head and sunken my battleship.”
For some reason, that sounded funny. Well, then Neon ignored that his Battleship and never talked about it to me in every possible way. Well, then Neon ignored that his black Nixon head was destroyed and told me to follow him to the bar where I would meet his friends.
When we got to the bar, which, by the way, the bar was like that bar from star wars, where the classic bar music was playing. I don’t fucking know, it’s hard to explain.
Well, my floating Nixon head also came along. I then met Neon’s old friends who were at the bar. Neon’s friends consisted of that guy who played in Green Lateran, but had the Green Lantern powers, ALF, Donald Trump, a floating JFK head, a giant mother fucking Dr. Pepper can that talked, Tom the rock, and Tom Hanks.
Neon introduced me to the Green Lantern guy, and he said hello to me and what not. Donald Trump was about to say something, but then the Green Lantern guy said, “Shut the fuck up trump!! No one wants to hear your political beliefs. No wait, I believe in a different type of government. Nooooooooooooo!!!!”
Then guards took him away and into a tree where he was signing staying alive, while being butt fucked by squalls. I said my political beliefs, which was the same thing that Green Lantern was, but no one took me away.
I thought I could actually be free from that nightmare, but yet, I was wrong. Then Neon asked if they could help him get his powers back, but Donald Trump was bleeding all over, ALF, well, he just talked to me instead.
He said, “Can I eat your cat?”
I said I didn’t have a cat with me, and he said, “Then why the fuck do I smell a cat around. Cat!? Cat? Where are you? I just want to fuck you and eat you! Caaaaaaaaat?”
ALF then walked around the bar, looking for the cat.
Then the Dr. Pepper can said, “no thanks.” He was a polite Dr. Pepper can.
Then Tom the rock just simply said no, and Tom Hanks didn’t say a word, but ate everyone’s legs at the bar except for me and Neon.
Then we walked out the bar, and Neon told me, “First, if we want to get my powers back, we have to go to the council of random.”
I asked how do we get there, and he told me we had to ride a retarded flying moose, who was Lumpy from Happy Tree Friends, which was a daily transportation and we got on it and crash into a mountain and we were there.
I felt like we died, but we ended up at the council. We then had wait in the waiting room area.
I sat there, while Neon put a pencil in his mouth, and puked. Neon said it was tradition to do it while waiting for the council.
He offered me to do it, but I obviously refused, but then out of nowhere, optimums primes came to me, gave me a gun to kill a Pepsi bottles, while three dogs were fucking a bee and a turkey had fire coming out of its mouth and ass, while two robots name Jim and Harry fucked all night long. I don’t know anymore, ok?
It was then our turn to go into the council. It was a dark room, and there were five spots where the wise ones of randomness were sitting at. Yea, they’re called that.
Then the leader of them all said, “The council shall commence in ten minutes. Until then, the bear shall come in.”
Then Neon had a scared look on his face and said, “oh no. not the bear!?”
Then, a Russian bear on a unicycle juggling three balls while the classic circus music playing in the background came in. That was it.
That and a scuba diver and a guy in a panda costume were in a row boat going back and forth across the floor, while a monkey was bashing an alligators skull in with a calculator. This chapter keeps getting weirder and weirder as we move on with this part of the story, isn’t it?
Then they exploded out of random and the leader said, “Your request of your powers has been denied.”
I couldn’t believe it. Now I had to continue a random adventure with this guy.
Since I clearly wanted to get this adventure over with, I spoke up and said, “Hold on a minute here. My friend Neon here really needs those powers back. I mean, back in Equestria, ponies need our help, because creatures called predators are attacking and killing innocent lives. So can you please just give him his powers back, so I can go home to a peaceful place, so I can smoke my weed in peace?”
Then the leader said, “wait, you’re that normal guy who isn’t even a citizen of this place. Ok then, you get the powers that breaks all laws of physics. Case dismiss.”
I then had a strong force push me back and I had powers to break all laws of physics. All, right, and the council members, all shot a Pepsi bottle, while fucking a crushed red peppers container, while rainbows came out of there asses, while flying cats were eating pop tarts.
Then Neon had an ok what the fuck expression on his face, and we walked out of the building that was not in the mountain.
Who the fuck knows, maybe crashing into the mountain was a teleportation, but then again, why didn’t the rest of the passengers were there. I don’t know. It’s best not to question it.
So then Neon said, “maybe someone stole it from me”
I then said, “oh boy, why would someone want to steal your powers?”
To be honest, I don’t know if I was trying to be scarstic there are not.
Well, the next thing you know, out of nowhere, Neon grabs a device, and puts it on the ground and opened a portal to earth.
IN HOLLYWOOD
Robert downy jr. was relaxing at his home. He had stared in iron man 3 and was making a fuck ton of money, and paid hookers and what not.
He even had eleven sons, but didn’t care, since he banged so many chicks before. Sure, he had a wife, but of course, he didn’t give a fuck, because he was fucking iron man.
He was sitting down, reading the newspapers, and he was reading where a dead Taylor Swift body had been found dead in her home.
Robert had a smile on his face, for he was the one that killed Taylor, and blamed it on Jude Law, that guy he works with in the Sherlock Holmes films. He was then hoping he would get a better actor to replace Jude Law.
Of course, how did he make it look like Jude Law did it?
Well, he had put a random stick by it, so it looked like a British person had done it, because everyone knows that all British people are wizards.
Then, a portal opened in his one hundred million dollar solid gold and red living room and was taken through the portal. Robert then woke up to a neon greenish pony.
BACK TO THE STORY
Well, Neon had brought Robert Downy jr. along for the ride. At first, he was confused, but then Neon told him he was Sherlock Holmes, and that he needed him.
Then Neon killed a random person, took his hat and pipe, and gave it to Robert. Robert holds it in his hands, still speechless.
Then Neon grabbed my Nixon head, and threaten him to say something or he would use the Nixon head against him.
The Nixon head had all kind of guns and shit, and even a nuclear bomb ready go off any minute and had barking at Robery with his sharp teeth.
Then Robert looked up in the sky and pointed upwards. It was a yellow submarine.
Then Neon said, “of course. How could’ve I missed it. it’s so obvious. I had a feud with the beetles for years, and maybe they did it. Or maybe, perhaps it was the blue meanies that did it. Quick Knight! Buddy ol’ pal! To the yellow submarine!”
Then Neon got on top of my Nixon and floated upwards.
Then Robert looked at me and I said, “look. I wouldn’t question it if I was you, and I’m more confused then you are.”
I then was somehow teleported up to the submarine and the beetles were animated from the movie and were singing yellow submarine.
Well, two beetles anyway. One was dead on the ground, because I remember one died of cancer. The other one had a hole through his skull, which was when one of the beetles was assassinated by a guy with glasses.
I’m looking at you NC. We all know that you were the one that did it and covered it up on a doucebag. That fucker.
Neon then used the Nixon head and killed another member of the beetles and asked the last one alive where his powers were at.
Then the last beetle said, “I don’t have a fucking clue. How about if you ask the dam walrus, down below the sub marine.
Now if you excuse me, we were about to sing a song about love.”
He then started singing, and his heart exploded and was everywhere in the sub.
Then, we were teleported out of the sub and the sub crashed into a tower like building. Then another sub crashed into the other tower like building right next to the one that was already destroyed. We basically made another 9/11, but with submarines.
I think we should’ve done it by using giant polar bears instead of yellow sub marines. I don’t know where the second sub came from, but I have a feeling that Osama bin pony had something to do with it.
We then saw the walrus. The walrus had sunglasses and had hippies all around him and singing ‘I am the walrus.’
Neon then asked him where was his powers were at, and the walrus said, “How about you look beyond the stars man.”
Then Neon said, “of course. Quick! To Effils65’s house!”
Then Neon left without me and the walrus was then eaten up by a rhino. Goody.
Then Neon stopped in the middle of the road, high jacked a car that was a Lego car, and he earned two stars with five hundred dollars, like in a Grand Theft Auto game.
Neon saw that above him, pointed the gun at the score, and the two stars went to five stars and the money went to the infinite symbol. Then he shot down that white dragon from the never-ending story movies and we got on it.
Why did he high jacked a Lego car, well, some Muslims beer cans paid him and they drove the car into a Denys and it exploded. Then everybody stopped in their places and applauded them for their good deed.
Now, that’s actually makes sense, because Denny’s fucking sucks. I mean, just go to a fucking I hop or a fucking waffle house.
Why would you be going to a Denny’s in the first place? in matter of fact, there was a drunken donuts or Dunken Dounts I should say right by Denny’s, and it didn’t get destroyed and I asked, “why didn’t you destroy the Dunken Donuts instead?” I mean Krispy Kremes is so much fucking better.
But don’t worry, a giant ass fucking midget and Ronald Regan lit the place on fire and took a piss on it, grabbed a Canadian person, gave him American bacon, which he then melted and said no like in the wizard of oz, and did crack and shot out to space, where they are living with Wheatly from Portal 2. What a nice ending for that place.
Neon then pulled me on the white dragon and we went off to a concert hall. Oh right, and my floating Nixon pal and Robert as well. We then landed in the concert parking lot, which was full of illegal Mexicans and some illegal Mexicans escorted us to our seats, which somehow Neon had reserved. Don’t understand that, but ok then.
We then were in front row seats and Effil65 was there. They then started to play ‘I’m blue.’Now, I’m a huge fan of that song, so I got up on stage and sang it with them and the blue aliens took me to the planet right next to planet random.
Then Neon grabbed hold onto the ship. So basically, he used me as bait. Nevertheless, what I don’t understand is, how did he know I would go up on stage and sing. Coincidence? I don’t fucking know, it was blue fucking aliens.
Well, then the ship landed and I was then taken to the blue alien stadium, where the song ‘I’m blue’ continued to play.
In addition, surprisingly, as for the instruments that were being played were the Italian army from the ‘80’s stars’ video that effile65 did.
There was also the red fucking balls acting as security guards, and that blue avatar chick from the ‘move your body’ video was there as well.
Nevertheless, the way, my newly founded powers couldn’t be controlled at the moment and it killed the avatar chick. Well, at least the 90’s chick I think I was supposed to know when I watched the video was at least dead.
Well, while this was going on, Neon, Robert, and Nixon were fighting off the blue aliens like in the music video. They were also singing the song ‘I’m blue’ as well.
After they found me on stage, Neon shot a gun in the air, and asked, “where is your blue meanie leader!!!”
the leader then came up on stage and asked what the fuck that we needed from him, because he was raping a blue ho, blue balls, and the avatar people, which included James Camoren.
Man, that is just fucked up right there. Neon then asked, “Do you have my powers?”
the blue guy said no, turned into a raptor from Jurassic Park and killed some of the blue aliens. Neon then said, “let’s go.”
Unfortunately, the crowd members heard Neon, and asked for me to stay.
Well, I wasn’t a fucking singer, so I said no, but I felt bad that they weren’t getting good music, and that if I left, they would have to go back to listening to Taylor Swift music, which if they heard it, they’re explode.
Either it was so awesome, they died, or it was so horrible, they died. Either way, they die. Well, I asked the Italian army behind me and asked if they could play ‘my console’ and ‘back in time.’
The armies response, “we are Italians and we will one day invade your earthly planet and kill you all and eat all of your legs and arms and we will cease to exist, for we don’t have enough intelligence to exist. Or in other words, we are too retarded.”
Which they said in unison and then they all turned into midgets and started playing the requested songs. Well, at least I leaned something that day, that all Italians are midgets.
No wonder they made that Asian theme song for MLP. I also possibly didn’t make sense there, but hey, this chapter doesn’t, so why the fuck not?
In addition, Neon kicked me in the back of the blacklegs and I then teleported to what looked like the camp site from MASH.
Apparently, Neon knew I could not control my breaking the laws of physics ability just yet, so he gave me a little boost to use them and go back to planet random.
Well, we were in the grass fields in that campsite from MASH, and when we saw it, the theme song started to play.
Neon then told me to go down and talk to one of the surgeons down below. I used to watch the show a lot and I knew the characters, however, it’s been a while, and for some reason, this and other things is what I forgot about back on Earth.
I forgot the characters names, so just bare with me. I talked to one of the surgeons in one of the tents and too be honest, it looked like the Vietnam war was still going on in this planet, and this would possibly or possibly will not piss of veterans if they ever read this part of my story.
In addition, I believe it was the Koran War in the show, but as I said before, it’s been a while and I forgotten what it was.
Well, I asked and he told me to put a mask on, to which I then said, “what the fuck did you just say? I’m sorry, but am I not going to fucking infect the person. I mean, I’m fucking eleven feet away from that guy who seems to be suffering from a weird Asian disease. That maybe or maybe not just called the Asian disease on this planet, since it’s fucking random as fuck. so please, can you tell me where my friend Neon’s powers are, since he told me to go down here and ask you guys?”
they then started to cry and kill the guy that was having surgery done on him, and said, “how could my best friends plane be shot down over the sea of Asians. Why dam you!!? Dam you space monkey zombie god!! Dam you!! dam you to HELL!!!.”
He then shot himself, and while the others just fucked and raped the two dead bodies in the room.
Therefore, just to be clear here, what they heard from me was this, “your best friend’s plane was shot down over the sea of Japan. There were no survivors.”
Therefore, we were going by the show basically, but in a fucked up way.
Then Neon suggested on talking with a Vietnamese, or sorry, he said an Asian guy, since he’s Asian and would know where his powers are.
Well, Neon is weird and I wouldn’t question his weirdness. Just let whatever happens with him happen. That is what I do, because there’s no use fighting it.
Well, with luck, an Asian was smart enough, since he did the math correctly and were passed the white people at the guard posts.
The random Asian guy said, “YOU DIE!! YOU DIE NOW!!!”
Then Neon said, “what luck. An Asian guy on planet random, and he’s one of the rarest species on the planet, although on earth, there’s only one and there’s a shit loads of them, but this is a rare Asian. You must approach it slowly, or it’ll get startled and run away. Hello mister Asian guy, I’m not here to hurt. I am your friend. I just need you to answer a question for me. Can you do that Mr. Asian guy?”
Then the guy said, “I KILL YOU FOR HONOR OF MY LEADER, THEWATCHER509!!! I SHALL KILL YOU IN HIS HONOR!!!”
Then Neon asked the questioned, “where is my powers mister Asian. Don’t be scared, I promise I won’t kill you if you if you don’t know answer me in five seconds.”
The guy then said, “FUCK YOU!!!”
Then Neon said to me, “my god. He’s right. I’ve been blind this entire time. It was my old enemy, Kula!! Thanks mister Asian guy! Bless you. Bless you and your Asian soul!”
Then the Asian guy said, “I KILL YOU!!!”
Then Neon killed him and trotted off into the distance. Then, the dead Asian guy’s skin peeled back, revealing a giant lizard that ran into the jungle. What do you know? We’re just being stereotypical here today, aren’t we.
Therefore, according to this planet, all Asian people are really lizards that are disguised as to what we think are Asians. I always knew they were aliens. Oh my god. I’m starting to become a Neon as I’m writing this.
That and I did have the powers of breaking the laws of physics, so I guess it’s making me put it down here. That or the powers are making me be a fucking troll, so technically, the power here is the troll, not me, but then again, know what? Fuck it, let’s move on with life and forgive and forget.
Therefore, what happened next was I saw Neon looking at the ground and stopped me in my tracks and said, “Knight. Don’t move a muscle. It’s a mine molar. It’s an animal that will explode if you move.”
Then Robert walked into the scene and said, “I’m so confused right now you random ponies that I just met. I mean I’m’ supposed to be back in Hollywood, fucking a blonde chick that I paid to rape that I found on Craig’s list and star in Sherlock Holmes 3. So, can you ponies take me home or what? I can give you hookers and money if you do.”
Then Neon responded to that with, “Quick Iron Man. Take this mine molar and save us!”
then Robert said ‘what the fuck’ and the iron man suit start to come to him one by one, as he was being tossed the mine molar. Then mine molar then exploded and sent iron man off into the distance beyond the mountains.
Well, looks like Earth isn’t getting Sherlock Holmes 3 or the Avengers 2 then.
Then Neon kicked me again to a warehouse building, where it was raining outside and the doors to the warehouse was open.
I asked what we were doing here, and he said that ‘he believed his old enemy, Zula had his powers.’
I then went along with it, since I’ve lost all hope here. Then Neon and I walked through the doors and we found Zula, gutting some Canadians that he found on the road.
He then said in a heavy weapon guy’s voice, “after all these years Neon, you finally found me. I’m guessing you’re here to finish what you’ve started all those years ago. Well then, kill me you son of a …”
then Neon killed him. He then said, “I don’t understand. If I killed him, my powers would have returned to me by now. There’s only one other thing that I can do. Quick Knight! To the All Mighty Giant Zune!”
you read right folks. There was a giant fucking Zune, which surprisingly was in the room right next to us. We then walked up to it and it glowed a green bar whenever it talked.
It said to us, “I’m am the all mighty giant Zune. What do you want?”
Neon was about to talk, but I decided to make him shut the fuck up, because everything was so weird today, and I just wanted to go home. So I said, “we’re here to see if you can give my friend here his powers back, from this corpse that we sacrifice to you.”
The Zune said, “well that’s very kind of you guys to do so, but I’ve got like Bill Gates killing and sacrificing people to me, so I really don’t give a fuck. However, I will give your friends power back if you get one of my Zune’s.”
I then said, “what!? No fucking way. Zunes fucking suck. IPods are way better.”
Then Neon whispered into my ear, “good. Good. Resist the Zune.”
I then said,” isn’t there some other way?”
The giant Zune then replied, “no deal. You either take a Zune or get the fuck out, so I may continue to plan a bombing on all the apple stores.”
I then gave in and said, “Fine. Give me a fucking Zune you doucebag.”
The Zune then said, “really? Wow, no one ever buys my shit. Ok then. I’ve got a 4GB, a 25GB, a 100GB a…..”
I then said to shut him the fuck up, “just give me the dam 4GB so I can get the fuck out of here. besides, I’m not even going to use it.”
The Zune then said, “well, here’s your Zune. And I put as many songs that I could and I also have like good music and shit on their like today’s modern music and….”
By the way, he gave me the Zune through a slot or a whatever, he just gave me it.
I then cut him off and said, “let me stop you right there. Now, you’re just wanting me to burn this thing when I get home. So, I hold up my part of the deal, now let’s see yours.”
The Zune then hesitated and said, “Oh right. Sorry. Got carried away because no one takes my Zune’s. Ok, so I’m scanning the body and I can’t give your friends powers back.”
I then asked why and he said, “It’s because he doesn’t have them.”
Then Neon said, “Wait a minute. I know who took it this time. I’m sure this time Knight. Moreover, he’s been under our noises this entire time. Quick Knight! Back to Equestria!”
Neon was about to zoom out, but I stopped him before he could go any farther.
I then said to the Zune, “before we leave, can you take away my powers?”
Then Zune then said, “uh…. no dumbass. I can’t, unless someone equal to your power ability could, but you’re pretty much at the second to highest power there is, so no, but I can give you a container to put the powers in, but you can’t destroy it, nor give it to someone else and it will always go to you.”
I then sighed and said, “Fine, give me the fucking dam container.”
Then the Zune said, “I will, but you have to switch out the 4GB Zune with the 300GB Zune.”
I then said, “Fine then. Give me it so I can go fucking home now.”
The Zune then said in a whisper, “Oh boy. I never got a good customer. Ok, so here, it is and I’ve got you tons of songs on there. And also, here’s the container, and I’m not going to tell you how to fucking use it, but there is the instructions on the container itself, so thanks, friends.”
I then said, “I’m not your fucking friend. Let’s get the fuck off this planet Neon.”
Therefore, we did. I then teleported off the planet and back to Equestria. Yea, I was starting to get used to the powers.
When me and Neon got back to Stalia, there were bunch of dead bodies everywhere.
Their were dead bodies left and right. There were dead bodies’ coming out of the trees man.
There were dead bodies that were big and too small for a rat to eat. There was one dead body and two bodies. There were red dead bodies and blue dead bodies. There were new dead bodies and old dead bodies. They were quite a treat. Moreover, why the fuck am I writing like Dr. fucking Seuss.
Then again, he was good at children book and mostly part of our childhood, but then again, he was a rapist, because all children’s book authors are rapists, because why wouldn’t they do book for children? Confused? So am I, let’s move on.
Therefore, I even found my friends were all dead, except for Wolf. He escaped with Molestia and decided to live out his days at Molestia’s castle and get fucked twenty four/seven.
Well, the predators saw us, and I said ‘run’ to Neon, and I basically followed him to the building where he had been hiding that dead body.
He told me to use my powers to hold up the door so the predators couldn’t get through, and he then walked up to the dead body and said, “So. It was you this entire time that stole my powers.”
I then was like ‘what the fuck’, but then a white orb of light got out of the dead body and it said, “Yes!! It was I that took your powers, and you won’t get it back.”
I then asked, “who the fuck are you!?”
The white orb then said, “I am the orb of blah. I have killed many on many planets. I was going to destroy the wrenched planet random, until Neon stopped me.”
Then Neon said, “I would’ve killed you, but you ate all the fucking Scooby snacks. So hand over the powers, or I’ll use this Asian guy.”
Neon then grabbed an Asian guy out of nowhere.
Then the orb of blah said, “You think an Asian guy can stop me. You haven’t change Neon. Not one bit. You still, after all these long dreadful years, you think a random Asian guy can stop me? Well, you got me; it can stop me, but only in this form. Now, Neon! You have forced me to show my true form!"
Then the orb of blah turned into a hamster that talked. That is fucking right folks, a fucking hamster.
He then continue to talk, which was, “now you can never stop me!!”
Then Neon said, “you monster. How could you be a hamster? Of course, I’ve should’ve seen this coming.”
Then the hamster said, “Yes! Not you, nor you human friend can stop me!!”
Surpassingly, Neon ignored that, which thank my fucking Celestia for that, but then Neon said, “well, I may not be able to stop, and since I don’t have my powers, that even fucks me over even more, but I still have one thing left. Talking to the audience, right audience?”
Neon then gave a wink, while turning his head not to me, nor to the hamster, but what looked like if there was a audience, well, in this case readers, but audience. In other words, you guys that are now reading this part of the chapter. Neon was talking to you not too long ago and winked at you. Basically, breaking the fourth wall.
The hamster then said, “You Selfish fool! You have doomed us all!!” I then said, “What the fuck just happened?”
Then the hamster replied to me, “don’t you know foolish human, that your friend Neon has doomed us all, by breaking the sacred fourth wall. The wall the separates the audience from the show. The wall that is sacred and should never be broken, or all known life will cease to exist!”
Yea, Neon doomed us all. I then asked, “Wait! What about Pinkie Pie!? She always breaks the fourth wall.”
Then Neon replied, “Yes, but she isn’t bounded to planet random, so whenever she breaks the fourth wall, she can never destroy the universe, nor bring the audience members into the show.”
I then asked once more, “show?”
then Neon said, “Yes, show! My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. That is the show that they are watching, which was created by Laruen Faust, although back on Earth, that’s what they think who created it, but they don’t know the truth. Laruen Faust, nor anyone else ever thought up the show. Not even the Bronies. I mean, we can’t even be created by a simple Brony on the computer, writing this out as a story.”
I then said, “I’m so confused right now.”
Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you don’t have to hide it anymore, I know that you know. I know that you’re not from this universe, and are from Earth. I also know about the portals and TK and Factory Dash, by the way, the tour of the factory was great. I got a coffee mug that says ‘I went to the rainbow factory’ from the gift shop. No, wait that was an alternate universe where the factory did have a tour and they had a gift shop. It was great how they made rainbows and all. I never would’ve thought using ponies would be useful of creating a rainbow. Anyways, I know all about the Brony fandom and you being a Brony.” I was really shocked that Neon knew.
I then said, “Well, my covers fucked. No wait? You said earlier that humans aren’t good, so why haven’t you killed me yet?”
Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you really don’t know, do you? Well, I would tell you, but I’m not allowed to, because the universe told me not to, and that they’re going to do it. Anyways, you don’t know do you, about the show? I mean, what did you think of our existence Knight? that we are just part of some story?"
SOMEWHERE IN THE REAL WORLD, WHERE MORGAN FREEMAN IS NARRORATING THE STORY NOW. (Note: I had orginally made a joke about me and this story's existance, but I have changed my mind it is now delted and forever lost. Although it is still on it's orginal document, but that is a different story.) BACK IN STALIA WHERE MORGAN FREEMAN ISN’T NARROATING I just sat there thinking of a possibility Morgan Freeman might of came into the story, but ok.
Neon continued to talk and said, “I mean, come on Knight? What do you think of this existence? I mean, what Laruen Faust’s ideas were, they were not true at all. The ideas that she had for the show weren’t based off her thoughts and ideas, but based off something else that is completely different. The show is really based off of is….”
Then the universe exploded. Well, Neon did break the fucking fourth wall, so I should’ve expected that coming. Neon and I were basically the only living things in the non-existent area.
Well, we were floating at random and Neon had a smile on his face and said, “My powers are finally mine once more!”
then, there was a big bang. Basically saying, Neon is god of this universe. In addition, that means I’m the co-creator of this universe Well then, that’s surprising to me.
We then ended up back in Stalia, minutes before the attack from the predators. Neon and I were the only ones that had memory of the attack ever happening.
We were in my home and Neon kicked down the door and killed all the predators at once. That and Neon found another dead body that he can keep secret from me and shit, so, Neon wasn’t completely sad, as long as this dead body doesn’t turn out to be one of Neon’s enemies again, I guess it’s ok.
In addition, everyone in Stalia questioned what the fuck Neon just did. Even my friends did, and even they know him the most. Even Classy Jack.
Yea, remember that fucking name? If so, I’m surprised, because I was wondering if anyone of you remembered that full name. Well, do not know what I was trying to prove there, but Neon saved us all.
Well, I saw all this happened from my house, and I just said fuck it and I went to sleep. Then Neon walked through my door, and talked to me about shit.
He also asked me if I wanted to go back to Planet Random, but I said fuck off.
He then said ok and he told me he would see me for winter wrap up in 10 minutes. Yea, winter wrap up was that same day. Apparently, we had snow.
Episode 18: Winter Wrap Up That Gives You Hypothermia
Well, it was five more minutes until I had to get up for Winter Wrap up.
I’ve been so tired lately from all the fucking adventures. I mean, first, there was with the sleepover, then the black guy pony thing, then the hangover one. Then there was the parasprites, and not too long ago, planet random.
I was really tired out by now, and didn’t want to go on another adventure. However, that wasn’t all. When I went to sleep for a little bit, I dreamt of Laruen Faust OC pony again.
However, this time around, I woke up only three minutes into the dream. I couldn’t go back to sleep.
I mean, I’m a fucking badass, who has seen things that no one else hasn’t seen before. I had good friends. The mane six knew me. I knew the rulers and was the personal student of one. I had a timber wolf named Wolf. I even had a fucking tiger and been on many adventures. So why can’t I sleep at night?
In fact, later that night, when I went to sleep, I didn’t sleep at all. I couldn’t go to sleep because I kept on having that dream.
It was like a nightmare. I mean, it wasn’t, but it kept taunting me, as if I’m missing something. I didn’t know what to do.
At night, I just went down to the basement and walked around, trying to make sense of that dream that I kept having.
I couldn’t shake the feeling off about that dream that I had. It kept getting worse every time I dreamt it. I mean, I didn’t sleep for days on end. In fact, years. Not kidding you, years.
Not until when I figured everything out and what that dream meant, I was able to get back to sleep. Although, I would never dream of being on a planet of beer and weed again, but of those nightmares that I had before coming to this universe. My Alicorn days or the fall or with TF. They were like nightmares to me.
Therefore, after I woke up from the dream three minutes ago, I laid there on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.
Wolf wasn’t there, nor was Molestia. I was all alone, and I rather felt scared of being alone for some reason. Just being alone with my thoughts about the dream kept scaring me.
I didn’t know what kept scaring me, but something did. I continued to lay there until Wolf came running in and telling me it was winter wrap up.
Strange, the roles had been reversed. In the show, Twilight was the one excited for it. I mean, she even fucking woke up three in the fucking morning for that shit, but now Wolf is excited for it and I’m not.
However, Wolf told me it was important for him. You see, when he was living in the Everfree, he and the animals as were also too had a winter wrap.
They even sang the song every year. However, he was going to help the Everfree and he wanted me to help as well, since I was basically the king of the Everfree or something. What? Don’t remember I was king? Well, I mentioned it like once or twice. If you recall back in Chapter seven, I mentioned it.
Well, then Wolf told me he was going to meet me in the Everfree. I then said fuck it to myself and continued to lie there, however, the universe of course still wanted to be a fucking doucebag to me, and fucking teleported me to the only lake that wasn’t frozen for the day and landed on an iceberg.
I fell into the fucking water and felt like shit. Dam the fucking universe.
Why the flaming fuck did the universe had to fucking to that me!? I mean, the fucking universe could’ve just put me in the dam snow!!
Apparently, the universe knew I was its enemy; however, it still had plans for me, so it decided to play dirty. Well, one can play at that game. Really, one. I don’t know how I could have ever gotten back at the fucking universe.
well, I struggled to hold onto an iceberg, and was floating in the fucking coldest water you have ever floated in. as I grabbed hold of the iceberg, not too far from me was a medium sized ship that looked like the Titanic and it was sinking.
Ok, so we’re on a lake and there’s a fucking Titanic boat that’s fucking on fire and is sinking, with no icebergs around. Yea. Hundreds of ponies lost their lives and basically jumped ship and froze to death.
Well, the land was like three feet away from them, but they didn’t even try to swim towards land. They just took the water and died.
I even asked one of the ponies that jumped ship and jumped next to me and he said, “I don’t want to die. This water is so fucking freezing cold. I’m going to die here.”
I then asked him, “excuse me Mr.Dumbass, but you do realize that you’re only three feet from land. I mean, you can latterly just walk towards it and you’ll be fine.”
He then said, “Don’t ruin the moment you fucking doucebag.”
First off, it seems like these ponies were emos and they wanted to die. Maybe it’s a cult. An Asian cult, where the Asians had brought shame upon themselves? No, couldn’t be. The Asians would’ve done it with swords.
So, my guess it’s Greeks or is it Russians. Maybe just people who just want to have a good time and shit…. I’m fucking lost now.
Well, whatever, and second, I forced the guy’s head underwater because he called me a fucking doucebag.
Well, I wish I wouldn’t have done that, because he talked underwater trough the air bubbles and said, “yes, yes, yes! Don’t stop!”
He was fapping underwater. When I saw the cum come out, I immediately got out of the lake.
After I did that, I found a Jack and Rose moment, if you recall the part at the end where Jack was in the water and died.
It was basically a Leonardo Dcaprio pony and Kate Winslet moment.
I saw them talking and shit and having a long ass conversation about how would they fuck each other.
I then pushed Leonardo’s head underwater until he died, took his body and gave it to Neon because apparently, he was building up a dead body that he or someone randomly found outside his home.
I told him I found this dead body at a park, where a dog was fucking a leaf, while a cat shot lasers out of his eyes while a polar bear fucked a cow while singing old McDonald had a farm.
When Neon heard that part, Neon said, “I’m so proud of you. You are starting to turn out like an ordinary citizen of Planet Random.”
I did wish that wasn’t true, but I’ll talk about that part another time.
Well, anyway, when Kate saw what I did to the guy, I said, “you have two fucking choices. You either, A, you’re a fucking witness and that means I have to kill you, or B, you can shut the fuck up about how he’s dead an all. Besides, he was doucebag and a crack head that had AIDS and shit.”
Also, she believed me on that part. Well then, I guess it is true that blonde-haired people are stupid. Well then, that thirteen year old on Wikipedia was right.
Too bad I killed him after I asked him a question about where do I find a cretin type of fish at, and he said, ‘your Mom.’
First of all, that was horrible, and at the time, I had my powers from the universe and injected myself with off the grid powers and killed him and blamed it on the Kevin Bacon, because we all know he’s a pedophile, right?
Well, after the blonde bitch disappeared, and that is right. She disappeared and was never seen again for a while, I went to the main part of Stalia, and was curious how they do winter wrap up here.
The town was also mostly founded by earth ponies, so everything was the earth pony way.
Well, when I got to the center of town, a small little section went to black, and a spotlight came on with Forest in it, and the winter wrap up song begun.
However, since it’s the same fucking song, there’s no point for me putting down the lyrics. However, there was a difference. The song was pretty much like Winter Wrap up cover by ‘all levels at once.’
(Note: go to 6:51 for the Winter Wrap Up song. for some odd reason, on All Levels At once's channel, he for some reason deleted it and this is the best that I could find.)
In addition, while they were singing, if you recall Twilights part in the song, the universe also made me sing and trot along the dirt trail.
However, I knew all the lyrics already, but I didn’t even fucking feel like singing, but the universe had to be an asshole to me and made me do it.
After the song was over, I said out load to myself, “wow. Apparently, Stalia did much better than Ponyville. Maybe it’s because Stalia has more of a musical budget then Ponyville. That would explain the techno and shit.”
Then, I heard rustling from the bushes next to me. I took a closer look and Randy Newman was there.
He had a note pad, writing lyrics down for a new horrible song for Disney. I asked him, “Randy Newman? Why the fuck are you behind these shitty ass bushes?”
He then said, “Don’t blow my cover. I’m remaking winter wrap up. Now what would be a good tempo? I guess just like everyone of my songs then.”
Well, I kind of ignored Randy Newman being there and all, and I decided to help Jack with the birds nest. Well, not decided to, but the fucking asshole of a universe teleported me to Jack.
When I teleported there, Jack didn’t even fucking notice me. He later did and the words that were forced to come out of my mouth is that I wanted to help.
He then gave me the supplies to make the nest, and I ended up making a sign that says ‘fuck you birds.’
Then Jack said, “it needs a little more work. Maybe if you add bitches after the ‘you’, it’ll work.”
Apparently, Jack was on my side on the thing here and about the birds. Then, Jack took it away from me and started to add shit to it.
Then Wolf found me and dragged me to the Everfree to help him out.
When I got there, the animals were about to sing winter wrap up. However, this was completely different, because the animals started to sing in English and it was a slow Irish type song. It was quite interesting.
After that song was over, I asked Wolf, “So what’s up with the animals and …..”
He then cut me off and said, “They only speak English when they sing the song. Don’t ask why.”
Well, then, apparently animals could talk here. Well, whatever, doesn’t fucking matter to me.
Well, instead of building nests, the animals made a birdhouse out of wood. Well then, at least they are good artisan.
Of course, how did they get the wood, well, all I saw what they used was a bloody axe. Apparently, the animals killed some campers not too far from the building of the birdhouses area.
Strange. I could’ve sworn that was Neon’s doing, which it was. He was working with animals. Yes, Neon is a killer now.
Well, I was then was supposed to help Wolf with the building. Well, every animal made a birdhouse, except for me.
I made a redneck southern bird home. What happened was, once that birdhouse was made, a redneck bird flew in, grabbed a shotgun and said in a southern tone, “You better get off my fucking dam property. It took me eight years to save enough money from my welfare checks!”
yes, the bird I built for was a lying doucebag fucker bird. I later killed that bird, and unbelievably, there were bird police, and I pinned the blame on Tom Cruise.
I know he wasn’t in this universe, but the birds believed me. Well, I had to blame it on somebody. Tom is a scientologist member, so I had to. Besides, not too many jokes towards scientologists are made every day, but apparently, History is made every day.
This reminds me of something, note to self, show monster quest show of slenderfetus, and watch episode of it.
Speaking of slenderfetus, I was minding my own business besides Wolf, and slenderfetus popped out of fucking nowhere. Yea, he returns once more.
He then said, “Yea!!! Dada is here for Winter Wrap up. I’ve got a present for you dada!!”
Slenderfetus then dragged a pony who was tied up, beaten to a bloody pulp, and was begging for mercy.
I had pretty much wide eyes when I saw this and to make this even more disturbing for you people, slenderfetus killed it in the most gruesome way possible, by making it do the Achy Breaky Heart dance.
Oh god why!? Oh the humanity of that dance! Why did the fucking 90’s even have to make such a horrid dance?
Well, the pony’s head then exploded and all of his brains and blood then went onto my fucking face and mouth. Well, at least it’s better than having pinkies period in my mouth.
I then said to slenderfetus, “ohhhhhhhhhhhh…… how thoughtful of you….uhhhhhhh……. son? I have a gift for you too……..let me just go and ……”
I ran like hell back to Stalia. I didn’t even want to look back.
Well, from what Wolf has told me, when I left running like a little bitch, the animals just ignored slenderfetus, while slenderfetus stood there waiting for me.
However, slenderfetus saw more prey, and he went after that prey and played a little game with him. Which was to collect eight pages of him.
I went back to Stalia, and I came across Neon breaking up the ice so the lakes could melt. He was ice-skating it. I was surprised he wasn’t setting fire to the ice, while having robots fuck a cow while doing some 80’s shit.
Neon saw me and asked if I wanted to help him. Well, I was going to say, “Fuck you,” but I said yes since he was actually doing something normal.
He gave me my ice skates and I put them on. Now, back on earth, I wasn’t such a good skater, but I was able to use a spell that I made myself to make me skate better.
I know I wasn’t supposed to use magic, but really, who the fuck was going to rat me out?
Forest was high in the sky doing cloud busting, Jack was doing god knows what, Arrell was basically making sure the animals breaded, and yes, instead of waking up the animals, he were making sure the first thing the animals did when they got up was to fuck each other. That sick fucker.
As for Mac, I could see him wanting to rat me out, but he was a southern redneck doing southern redneck things. With Neon, well, he’s random and shit. Besides, he wasn’t breaking the laws of physics to melt the ice.
Well, I ice-skated and I broke through the ice. When I did, I found the lost city of Atlantis and New Orleans.
I couldn’t believe it myself either. Therefore, this is what the dead black people of New Orleans were at the bottom of a lake in the MLP universe.
Well, the next thing you know, I came back up to the surface and I could not find Neon anywhere. Well, I then saw another ship in the lake, Neon was right by it, the ship hit him, and the ship sunk to the bottom of the lake. So apparently, that titanic ship that sank earlier, that ship hit a Neon.
That also meant that Neon was the man of steel. I was afraid of Neon at that moment and I slowly went back down under the water. I didn’t want to die that day.
As I did, the water felt a little bit warmer. Then there was a current and I was brought to the murky swamps of the Everfree.
I then saw Wolf and I asked him, “Wolf. What the fuck just happened? Is the changeling queen here, just like in the problem with magic fan fic?”
Wolf then said, “No. I just used those navi things from legend of Zelda to teleport you here.”
I then said, “But those things don’t even do jack-shit.”
Wolf then said, “Yes, but this was the MLP universe, so I guess the magic helped them do it.”
Then, right next to Wolf was the navi things from Zelda, and it kept on saying ‘hey.’
Then Link came the fuck out of nowhere and killed those things with is badass shield and said, “I’m fucking tired of you fucking things!!! Go to fucking hell!!! Next time, I’m taking the fucking bird. Sure he has AIDS, but no gives a fucking dam.”
He then walked away into a portal and back to his game. I then wondered where the fuck are these portals popping out. I later asked TK, and he says sometimes portals randomly open up, like a short cut of not having to use off the grid portals. Just like that griffin guy.
Well, after Link left, I asked Wolf what he needed me for, and he said, “We’re going to melt the ice over the rest of the swamp. That and we can eat those fishes.”
I then looked at the other animals and they were licking their lips. Either they are pedophiles or they are really starving for those fishes.
I also saw the fishes under the ice, and they were grabbing spears and shit, as if they were going to war.
They then blew up the ice and the animals and the animals of the swamp started to kill each other and fight.
I then slowly walked backwards, while Wolf was really killing those fishes. It was something like out of saving private Ryan.
Oh, and they were using walkie-talkies as for guns. I do have to admit, nice reference those animals did, although, did the south park creators do it or was it George lucus?
Speaking of him, as I was about to re-enter Stalia, I saw George raping a storm trooper, while Steven Spielberg was jacking off to a naked Indiana Jones. South Park was right, they are rapists and homos.
Well, I then re-entered Stalia once again, and I then went to Arrell, who was making sure the animals were getting up and making sure that they were fucking.
He had seen me, and he said, “Oh hey Knight. Aren’t you supposed to be doing something?”
I then told him, “Well, Arrell. I’m a fucking unicorn that really doesn’t give a fuck about this town. So why the fuck would I want to help?”
He then said to me, “Yea. I would too not give a flying fuck, but I’m too busy making sure the animals are good and are fucking to even care about it. So, you want to help me wake up the animals then?”
I then agreed to his offer, and I went to a cave. I said ‘yes’, because I always wanted to try something. I didn’t grab a bell, although, I was supposed to get a record player and play sexy music so the animals can hump the fuck out of each other, but instead, I did this.
I poked my head in, and said, “Wake the Fuck up!!”
That certainly woke up the animals, but it was John Wayne.
He then said, “Will you keep it down out there. I’m trying to get some sleep and live in hell in peace.”
I then had a confused look on my face, and I saw inside the cave was a hell.
Latterly, a hell, and Satan said, “Hey! Keep it down!! I don’t want fucking John Wayne to wake up anymore! He so fucking annoying!!”
I then took my head out, and to avoid that ever happening again, I took a gun out, pointed in the air, and shot a few bullets.
I then said out loud, “Every fucking animal that is not John Wayne, wake the fuck up!!”
well, all the animals woke up and Arrell was sort fucking pissed off at me, but when he came close to me, all the animals jumped on him.
In fact, they humped his body, while being pissed off at the same time.
Well, then I slowly walked backwards once more and I fell into a rabbits hole. When I fell, I ended up in the Everfree. How it worked that time, I will never know, but I have a feeling it was the Chinese.
Then Wolf spotted me and said, “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
When Wolf said that, I had thought of the dream again. I wanted to stop thinking about it, but for some reason, I thought about that dream when I heard those three words.
‘There you are.’ I didn’t know what it meant, but it meant something. It had a connection to my dream somehow, but I did not know what. ‘There you are, there you are, and there you are.’
I can’t get that out of my head now, but it had a meaning to it. What did it mean is something for you to find out later.
Well, I tried to shake that feeling off again, and concentrate on the task at hand. In other words, waking up the Canadian ponies.
Ok, they were not exactly like a pony, but they were Canadian animals to me, so I cause they were Canadians, but they were not civilized citizen, but just an animal.
Well, what the animals did was slit their throats and skin them to sell on the bear black market. No wonder ponies fear the Everfree. They are afraid that they’re going to be killed slowly.
In addition, just to let you know how that little war went with the animals, the animals won against the fishes, but there were 8,000 casualties. There was also a memorial service for those who had fallen during the war.
Well, I slowly went back to Stalia. It was a little hard and I got lost a little, but I ended up on Mac’s farm. He was basically in charge of clearing the fields so he could plant the seeds and shit.
Well, he saw me and said hi and shit and I told him I wanted to help. Well, to be honest, the universe was going to make me do it anyways, and besides, he’s a redneck, and you’ve got to love those rednecks. I don’t know what I just fucking said.
Well, I got into a plow and holy fucking shit it was hard to push. I was going to use magic, but I remembered that Mac is strict when it came to using magic, I used invisible magic, where the magic was still there, but invisible.
Well, I did that, and I was controlling the plow more then what Twilight ever could have. However, the universe just had to fuck it all up by steering my plow and killing ponies and making more snow fall onto the farmland.
Well, at least I don’t have to cover up and burn the dead bodies, because ponies will think the snow killed them. Well, I crashed through the snow and ended up on the other side back in the Everfree forest.
In addition, Mac was really pissed at me with the plow and shit, since he found out that I used magic.
Speaking of other things that I forgot to tell you about is that Nixon head thing. Yes, I have to bring it up again and what happened to it. It went into that container that the Zune gave me, so whenever I use the powers, I’ll have my own personal Nixon pet.
Well, anyways, Wolf saw me go through the snow he looked mighty pissed at me.
He then said, “Knight! You are supposed to be helping us clean up winter here in the forest. Now come along, we need your help with cleaning up the snow.”
Well, I saw all the animals picking up the snow by rolling it and making it into snowballs. I rolled some snow into balls as well, but with my magic.
Here in the Everfree, the animals don’t give two shits and one flaming fuck if you use magic or not. It’s as if they are not Muslims. Of course, you must be wondering, where the fuck did, we put all the snow at in the end?
Well, we put near that black guy pony’s hut. That bitch was also pissed off, and always thought it was little fillies from Ponyville that has been doing it every year to her.
I did over hear her saying how she wants to beat the living shit out of them, but she calms down and said she will get revenge one day on them. Well, black people always do get their revenge one way or another.
In addition, it seems that the animals are quite racist.
We had some snow left over, and wolf said, “Hey! I’ve got an idea. Let’s bury the little colt over there that’s sleeping by the Everfree forest and see if he can get out or not.”
Yea, apparently, with Twilight’s help, Ponyville got done with their winter wrap up within a hour or so.
In addition, the bear talked in bear talk, and suggested something.
Wolf pretty much understood him and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why the fuck do you always want to slit someone’s throat? You are a sick fuck. That’s what you are.”
As Wolf was saying this, I had that thought about the dream again. This time, it was when Wolf said the words, ‘sleeping colt’ those two words boggled my mind for days and I still couldn’t figure out what it meant.
‘Sleeping colt, sleeping colt, sleeping colt.’ What did that word mean was something I was trying to figure out. ‘There you are’ and ‘sleeping colt’ were the two things that I had to go on, but it tortured me more then intrigue me, because I couldn’t sleep at all because of that. I do know what it means now, but for you guy’s, I gave you guys clues, so there you go.
Well, as wolf was talking to the fucked up bear, I slowly backed away. I couldn’t take the thoughts anymore. I needed to go back so I could calm down. I didn’t know what to do, but I just needed silence to figure it out.
However, Wolf saw me leaving and I heard him yell, “Dam it Knight! Why the fuck do you keep leaving!”
He then went after me; however, I was long gone before he caught up to me. I eventually got back to my own home, and locked the doors and shit. I just needed silence to think about those words.
However, the silence only made those words more meaningful to me and to the dream.
Well, eventually Wolf was looking for me around Stalia, and I saw Forest on the ground talking to Mac, saying, “Forest! we need you to melt the dam fucking snow, so we can remove the dead bodies so I can put them on Applejacks farm so she can be locked away for it.”
Then forest said, “Got it!”
Then Arrell came up to Forest and said, “Forest! I need you to not melt the snow, so I can freeze these bastard animals so they die of the cold.”
Then Forest said, “Got it… wait. Why do I smell animal semen on you?”
Then Arrell said, “Well, how do you know what animal semen smells like?”
Then Forest said, “I kind of stalked Rainbow dash for a while, and when her pet turtle, tank looks at her, he jizzs all over the place, and when I stalked her once, I was by her turtle and it jizzed in my face.”
Well, then, I always knew that fucking turtle was a pervert. I am sure that one time when he licked rainbow’s face, he came. That and I believe that turtle is retarded, so I guess it’s alright that the turtle is doing that.
Then Wolf came over to the guys and said, “Hey! Forest! Have you seen Knight around? He needs to help me and the animals of the Everfree cleanup winter.”
Then Forest said, “Wait a second. Help you and the animals? He shouldn’t be helping you guys. He should be helping us ponies, his own kind.”
Then Wolf said, “Yea, well, you know what, he’s the fucking king of the Everfree fucking free, and he has to help us.”
Then forest said, “Wait? King of the Everfree?”
Then Wolf replied with, “Yea. He can pretty much control the animals and make them do whatever he wants them to, so he’s pretty much the king of it. That and for some reason, they bow down to him from time to time, and we made sure there was no black pony around when they bowed to us.”
Then forest said, “Oh. Well that makes a whole lot of fucking sense. But you can’t have him!”
Then they all started to complain, until the mayor stepped in, who is a weird bitch most of the time, but this time around, she was actually normal, and said, “Stop it!! I didn’t want this to happen!! I wanted this year to go perfect and be on time for spring!! I mean, there’s not a single bird nest even made, but instead there’s a whole bunch of signs that says, ‘FUCK YOU BIRDS.’ The ice has been melted over the lakes, but the lakes have been set on fire. The animals has been doing nothing but Cumming all over the place, while the clouds are only shaped into words that says, ‘we are better than Ponyville, fuck you.’ In addition, the farm has only planted dead bodies. This is the worst winter wrap up ever!”
Then Forest punched her and said while doing so, “Fuck you Bitch!!”
They then continued to argue and shit, which I then stepped in and said, “Hey!! Every pony shut the Fuck up!!! Now, I know it doesn’t matter if I help Wolf or not. What matters is that we finish winter wrap up, so we can all enjoy it. Therefore, we don’t have to live in the cold and we can enjoy the scenery of spring. So what do you guys say? I mean, please, so Twilight doesn’t have to fucking come here and ask why the fuck are there a bunch of dead fucking bodies every where? That, and if it makes you fell better, we can dump all the snow in Ponyville.”
Then Mac said, “Hey! He has a good point! ATTACK!!!!”
Then the animals and the ponies of Stalia started to fight each other, in a battle that took all day and trough Luna’s night.
Eventually, Twilight did come to check up on me once again, and she had to have her friends come and help to clean up winter, while every pony and animal in the Everfree fight to the death.
In addition, the outcome of it was 300 casualties. Wolf even had a war journal for it. The next morning, the fighting stopped, but of course I heard all of the battle throughout the night because like I said before, because of that dream, I couldn’t sleep at all.
Well, the whole town and me came together and said how proud they were for cleaning up winter, which I then thought, maybe they never noticed that Twilight and her friends came.
Then Randy fucking Newman came the fuck out of nowhere with a fucking piano and started singing winter wrap up, but in his own way.
Winter wrap up, It’s so fine and dandy. Winter wrap up, Cleaning up snow and shit. Winter wrap up, Planting seeds for food. Winter wrap up, is the most wonderful time of the year!! It also means a rhino will eat up your parents! There is also competition of cleaning up winter, Because its preparing for spring! So the birds can piss you off, With their singing. And you can enjoy the warm waters, In the spring lakes. And of course giant peaches can grow and shit. While there’s talking toys, That gets eaten up by a rhino one day. Because its winter wrap up, Its fine and dandy! And your parents will be eaten up by a rhino one day!
Yea, that song was fucking annoying as shit. But then, slenderfetus came and said to me, “There you are dada! Where’s my present!?”
I then pointed to Randy Newman and said, “uhhh….. here’s your present. A Randy Newman.”
Then slenderfetus jumped up and down and grabbed Randy Newman, while saying, “Yea!!! Randy Newman!!”
He then dragged him into the Everfree forest, which sadly, he wasn’t killed, but taken to be a friend of slenderfetus. Randy newman’s last words for the time being was, “You haven’t seen the last of Newman!”
Then we all laughed at that. I mean, I laughed pretty fucking hard, because, I mean, yea right, like Newman will ever comeback and….. he does comeback.
Yea, unfortunately for us, slenderfetus never wanted to kill him. He just kept him as a pet. Yea, I would’ve called slenderfetus my son if he had killed him, but since he didn’t do it, I just continued to fucking hate him and shit, while being mentally afraid of him of course.
I mean, who wouldn’t be afraid of slenderfetus and shit. Besides, he isn’t no child of mine, because if he was, he would’ve agreed with me and killed Newman right there on the spot, but nope, so that’s not my boy.
Strange, now I’m thinking about that awful movie of that’s my boy now, with Adam Sandler. In fact, I’ve been to a universe where it was just horrible, where ‘That’s My Boy’ won the academy Award for best picture.
It was a dark universe, and If I recall, the scariest of all the universes that I have been too.
Well, after we all laughed, I went back home, along with Wolf, and the winter in the Everfree was eventually cleaned up, but it evolved in a lot of ponies getting their throats slit while they were sleeping. Don’t ask how, but those animals are fucking psychopaths I tell you.
Of course, as for the dream thing, I still had problems with it and I still could not get to fucking sleep. However, whenever I closed my eyes for a while, as in just wishing I could go back to sleep again, I see an island out in the middle of the ocean.
It also seemed like the ocean was endless and didn’t lead to nowhere at all, but only had that one island that was upon the ocean.
On the island, there’s a cliff and the beach and a arch like shape of a rock formation, along with a cave. Sitting upon the cliff, sits a castle.
I never knew what it was at first, but it was there. Of course, I see it whenever the sun is setting or it’s nighttime and the stars are out nice and bright.
I even hear a tune in my head, which seems like its heaven music or a song that would belong in heaven, because I hear a harp and violins and mostly a classical song, with a trumpets I guess.
On the beach, I see Laruen’s OC pony, just looking at the stars. I’ve always questioned that, as too why is she looking up at the stars.
I also saw a pony or a child underneath her wing. I could never make out whom the pony is, nor could I ever make a description of it, but the child is just under her wing.
They are both looking up at the stars and I cannot tell who it is. In addition, I know for one thing, it’s not Celestia or Luna, because if it was Celestia, I would’ve been able to see her, since she has a white coat and all.
With Luna, well, she has a flowing mane and I would’ve been able to spot that real easily, since its wavy and pretty much blends into the night and all.
I could also see come castle in the distances. As for what they were for, I couldn’t tell who were they were for, or who occupied them.
I even saw in the center of the island, a tower of some sort. Like a connection to the entire castles. To say, for those who all lived in those castles, they would all meet up there.
I could even hear seagulls from time to time and sometimes see them.
However, that one child still mystified me. I mean, whom it could be you might ask, well, I’ll leave that up to you for now, but it was haunting me, who was that child.
As I said, I couldn’t make out its coat color or mane or anything. It was just there, under Laruen OC pony’s wings.
Sometimes, I could even feel like that child was staring at me, as if he knew I was there, looking at him and the Alicorn.
It felt creepy in a way, but at the same time, it’s like I knew who he was, but I didn’t know who he was, because I couldn’t look at him in detail, nor do I know any pony child at all that would be most likely would be under that OC pony’s wing.
From time to time, I also saw the pony sleeping under Laruen OC’s wing. It looked like he was dreaming of good dreams, while the OC was just looking at the child.
Sometimes, those stars mystified me as well, because they looked like constellations, the ones that Twilight would be familiar with the stars.
However, the OC pony was adding to the stars and making them, well, from time to time I saw it. When I saw that happen, I saw her looking at a book, as if it with old tales and she was adding characters from those ancient tales to the skies as constellations.
Sometimes, I saw no one on the beach, as if it was abandoned, but the ponies were still there, but in the castle and sometimes, they were not there at all.
However, whenever they were not there, that cave I told you, every night, I see that cave with light in it, as if someone as fire going on inside it. In fact, I can see someone inside it.
With this one, I could make out whom it was and all I have to describe the pony was an anime character like pony or something from Japanese like character.
I could even see drawings on the walls that he made. Even he stared at me, as if I was right there also looking at him.
He just stood there and one time, he actually came up to me, raised his hoof to me, and smiled at me. He even said a few words, but I couldn’t make them out.
He knew I was there, because there was one word, however that I could make out and it was Knight. Sure, it could mean the night sky or something, but why would he be just staring at me instead up at the sky?
One time, he pointed at the castle and continued to smile. Then, after a while, at night, sometimes, he would just disintegrate and be carried off by the wind, as if he was a sprit or something. Whenever I open my eyes, after what I had seen, I’m still in my home.
Either in the basement or in the living room, sitting down at my couch while Wolf is being either molested by Molestia or sleeping with her.
while I just sit there in the dark in the front, trying to make what I had saw in that vision when I close my eyes for a while, trying to get away from those nightmares.
Therefore, I just continue to sit there and think, and sometimes, I just get scared even more from the silence in the room, then in the dreams.
Or (Yes, I have another alternate ending, however with this one, it’s short and sweet.)
Well, I just came back from Planet Random and I am tried as fuck. I just decided to lay there go to sleep.
However, its fucking Winter wrap up and every pony, including Wolf wants me to help, but I said fuck you to their faces and they left me be. Even the fucking universe doesn’t fuck with me, but possibly because of all the shit I’ve been through and the universe is giving me a fucking brake. Fucking good.
Well, I lay there, sleeping, however, I keep hearing complaining and it eventually gets to a fucking point, where I storm outside and yell at them to shut the fuck up.
What I did then is grab a beer bottle and a lighter, and spit the beer through the lighter, and it melted the fucking snow within seconds.
Also the ice and other shit.
I then grab a whole bunch of fucking sticks, put them by the fucking trees and said, “Here! the fucking birds can build their own fucking nests!”
As for the fucking seeds, well I am not no fucking Johnny apple fucking seed, so I just let them handle it, while go back to fucking bed. THE FUCKING END.
Episode 19: The Revenge of a Pony Who Didn't Get a Ticket
Chapter 19: the revenge of a pony who didn’t get a ticket
Ok, I will be serious with you. I don’t know how to start off this chapter. It’s hard to explain where to start, but I guess I’ll start here.
It was a few days after Winter Wrap up and all, and the drams kept getting worse. I mean, I didn’t even try to dream, and I still couldn’t handle it.
It was almost driving me to the brink of insanity. I kept going to my basement every night and working on more weapons and shit, but I would always trot back and forth, because I couldn’t get those dreams out of my fucking head.
Even that fucking island was starting to get to me. I also kept asking to myself, why were they smiling at me. Why the fuck are they smiling at me!? I couldn’t get it out of my head.
I even started to hear voices in my head, as if I was going insane. However, those visions that I had was getting to me.
Why oh why were they fucking smiling at me. Sure, it’s not bad that they are, but what I’ve I done and who are they. It’s like if they know me. I don’t know who that anime pony is, nor did I ever meet the OC pony.
It’s like she knew me in way. I don’t know them, because I never met them in my fucking dam life. That island with that anime pony though, seemed to know whom I am, but why was he pointing to that dam fucking castle. Why!?
Was there something there for me? Did it hide a secret that I needed to find. Was Lauren trying to guide me?
I kept asking many questions that needed answer. Who are they and why were they coming to my dreams or whenever I close my eyes every time?
However, that island though, I saw something like that, or a similar feeling that I had towards something like that when I was a child.
When I was about four or five, I was clueless to this world. I questioned everything, but I also had dreams and fantasies as well. I never imagined that island, but I feel like it had a connection to my childhood in Japan.
I mean, I was born in Japan cause my dad worked aborad and we moved from place to place, at least as far as I can remember that far back at least. some details might be fuzzy there. It just seemed like that fucking island has something to do with everything.
That stars as well, as if it had some kind of connection to me. What were they and I just never understood. In addition, that mother fucking child.
Who was he dam it!? Who was he!? He keeps looking at me, as if he expects me to do something say something, but what am I supposed to do.
Even Wolf at the time was starting to get worried about me. I mean, I was going to the basement every dam night, night sleeping at all, working on shit, while trotting back and forth talking to myself.
Even Molestia noticed this and offered me to molest me so I could relax, but I just ignored them. Ignored them as if they didn’t existed and if talked them, I would see myself as a crazy pony.
Therefore, Wolf and Molestia just doesn’t bother me at all. I was even considering going to Twilight about this. I was also thinking Celestia as well, but I knew it wouldn’t end well, because I see her and Luna in my dreams.
As with Twilight, I pushed that idea aside, because I know it won’t end well with her either, because she’ll get Celestia involved.
So I just continued to ramble on and talking to myself to calm me down. Sometimes, I go dead silence, but whenever that happens, the room is nothing but pure silence.
In addition, when that happens, I hear voices in my head. I then just yell and scream at the top of my lungs, telling those voices to stop.
At one point, I went so mad, that I destroyed a few years worth of work down in my basement.
Sometimes, I hear this song in my head, and it sounds like its being singed, but I can’t make out the words to it. However, the tone and the melody of it were familiar to me. It went something like this. (Note: I couldn't find the song melody, without giving the lyrivs away. so, you'll just find out in the end of the chapter what it is.)
At the time, I couldn’t remember what it was, but it was a tune that I remember what my parents singed to me when I was merely but a child.
For some reason, when I heard just the melody to it, it calmed me down. It was soothing actually and I had a smile on my face when I heard it.
I even felt like someone close to me was singing it, trying to keep me safe, as if I matter to this certain person or pony. I really couldn’t tell anymore.
That song helped me so much, I even came up with an idea to help me with the dreams. It wouldn’t get rid of the dreams, however, it would keep my thoughts off it and help me relax and make me forget it even exists.
At the time, I came up with this idea when it was nighttime and I was in the living room. I quickly ran to my basement to start working on it, and I did the math and everything and I started a machine that would make the stuff for me.
Of course, it was going to be in a syringe, but it was going to work. However, right after I started the machine and the machine got to work, the dreams returned.
I kept mumbling to myself, but it ended because TK was in the room. I remember those exact words he had said to me. He said, “Knight. Knight! Knight!! Knight!!!”
I then turned my attention over to TK and he told me to calm down. He then said to me, “Listen Knight, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it seems like you can handle it. now, I’ve tried to trace back TF’s transmission device back to its origins back in Manehatten. However, I was unable to pick up the signal. I’ve tried every fucking possible way and I failed to do so. However, there might be a slight chance I might be able to pick it up, but I need the TV or the signal that was used to broadcast the message to you. I was able to pick up what type of signal it was used on it seemed to be ok when it was in the explosion, so it should still be there. I need you to go to Manehatten and try to find the signal device.”
I was about to go up stairs and tell Wolf of what I had to do, but then TK stopped me before I could continue and said, “and Knight. I know you’ve not been doing so well lately. Even Wolf told me what you’ve been doing, but you need to get your head back into the game. We might be able to find where TF escaped. I still will never know who he escaped those demons when I saw him. Good luck Knight.”
TK then went back to hell so he can continue his work, while I go on my journey to Manehatten. I walked upstairs to back something’s, because I was going on my own this time. I mean, it was meant to be a quick visit back to the place where Factory Dash and I almost died.
I grabbed my satchel or that thing that Indiana Jones has. Yea, I have that thing. Yea, I forgot to mention that when I first wrote this story of my life and the adventures of the universe and shit.
Besides, I didn’t really need the satchel right away, nor did I used it, so there was no point in writing it down. However, I only use the satchel for things like this. If it’s around Stalia, I don’t have it on me, but if its anywhere else, I have it on me, just in case an old enemy of mine attacks are where my help is needed, I have all the shit that I fucking need in there.
In addition, that syringe was quite ready yet, but it would be when I got back for Manehatten. I just had to take it easy when I went to Manehatten and don’t let those dreams and thoughts get to me.
I then went upstairs to notify Wolf that I was going to be gone for a while. I saw him being molested by Molestia and he was moaning and shit. I mean, he was spraying timber wolf cum everywhere, but Molestia cleans that up with her mouth and… Are any of you starting to get a weird boner right now? I know I shouldn’t ask and besides, this isn’t a clopfic and all, but a story of my life, and this is what happened and as I am writing this in my room at the castle in Cantorlot (that’ll be explain later) I have a pretty weird boner right now as you are reading this. I mean, Molestia doing a pony and a timber wolf.
That’s just interesting. I mean, she cleaned that cum up with her mouth and she enjoyed every bit of it and… Ok what the fuck am I fucking doing right now!!?
This is a story about my life and the adventure I had in the universes and shit. not Wolf or Molestia having sex. Although, I’m afraid to say, there will come a chapter where there’s plenty of sex and shit, to where it would be a clop chapter.
Well, for those sick fucks out there who are bored about my awesome life story, you’ll get a good kick out of it then, you sick fucks. But then again, if we’re all having boners right now and…. Ok let’s just move on.
Well, when I came in Molestia and Wolf saw me and asked if I was ok. I said yes and told them where I was going and Molestia offered me a private uhhhhh. Sex or molestiation ….. I don’t have a fucking clue what you call it. Its sex so whatever. Something that’s supposed to make me spray my fucking cum. Well, I was about to say no, but I said, “Yea. I do want one before I go.”
Then wolf said, “Well that’s fine with me. I’m all out of cum right now, I go downstairs, and smoke some weed while you two are doing it up here. I’ll also play that fucking record we have of buffalo soldier while I’m doing it.”
Wolf then left and closed the door so Molestia and I could have some privacy. Molestia gestured me to lie down on the bed so we could started with the sex and the blowjobs and the molesting.
I then laid down and she started to slowly……. My god. what the fuck have I become? Whatever, we just did it in the bedroom, but I guess for you cloppers out there.
I mean, I know you people will have your fun once in the future, but I don’t want you to be like saying clopper related things and being hyped on that kind of shit and saying my life story is a waste of fucking time.
So, where was I, all right. Molestia did me and we’ll go into details much later about that. Then again, I guess I should include it, since this story isn’t for kids.
In addition, if little kids are reading this, then shame on your parents you little fucker. Then again, how would you find this book anyway from the MLP universe?
Then again, I would just send it to the earth universe after I’m done, but keep a copy of this for myself and hope some people would read this. I mean, I’m currently writing this at Cantorlot Castle, in my room by fucking candle light, and frankly, I have no fucking clue what the fuck I’m saying right now. Let’s move on.
Therefore, after Molestia did me, I went down stairs, it was around three o’ clock at night, and I decided to leave.
Wolf asked me why I was going then and I told him, “Well I can get to Manehatten by morning if I leave now.”
Then Wolf asked, “Wait? Isn’t Twilight in Manehatten? Visiting the mayor and shit?”
I then said, “Yea, but she won’t give a flaming fuck. I mean, she doesn’t know half of the fucking adventures that I had so far. Like planet random or winter wrap up or the hangover adventure one, or the others that happened to me. So see you wolf. Also, by the way, Molestia was very excellent in bed tonight.”
Then Wolf said, “Yea, she’s been practicing. That and she’s always like that if you get her in the right mood. Well, see yea. Also, pick up more beer while you out. We need more.”
I then said, “Will do.”
I then left to go to Manehatten.
I walked for about three hours or so and I saw the sun rose up into the sky, as the moon felled into the deep blue while I was walking. I do have to admit, even though Celestia is a fucking troll, she can sure make a sunrise look fucking amazing.
Well, I was walking along my path, when I came up to a carriage, with ponies that looked like they were guarding it. I could even see the leader.
I walking and I were going to bypass them, until the leader of the group stopped me and asked, “Hey! Aren’t you that pony? That pony who’s a personal student for Celestia?”
I then said, “Yes. So what?”
He then said, “oh nothing. I just never get to meet famous or slightly famous ponies that much. It’s a great honor to meet you, because I’ve heard stories about you once in Cantorlot.”
I then asked, “You have?”
I mean, I know I was somewhat well known in Cantorlot and all, but not really much heard of outside of Cantorlot. Then again, if you remember that one guy that I said he was sort of a friend to me, but not really.
Well, maybe that could’ve been him and shit, but I knew something was up, because when Twilight went to Ponyville, no one knew she was a personal student and shit.
The leader then continued, “of course. Almost everyone has heard of you. So, where you headed?”
I then said, “Riiiiiiiight. I’m headed towards Manehatten. I’m be leaving you now.”
I still had a suspicious look on my face as I continued to walk to Manehatten.
I then over heard them, but using walkie-talkies, which I was still blown away by that, so of course something was up. I heard him say, “That student is headed towards your trap boss. We’re make sure he gets there safely and we send the big guy out. then you can give us our pay.”
I then heard on the other side, “good. I’ll see that you get paid once I’m done with him.”
Then that leader guy put that fucking walkie- talkie thingy magic away.
Well, it isn’t exactly a walkie talkie, but it’s similar, so what the fuck am I supposed to fucking call it. Although, you must wonder, how a pony invents this stuff, but yet, doesn’t share with the world.
I mean, a fucking pony could make a shit load of fucking money with those devices. I mean, I could even make a shit load of fucking money with my inventions.
Well, whatever, doesn’t really fucking mater and shit fuck….let’s just fucking continue the story.
I was walking towards Manehatten and I kept hearing that melody tune in my head as I walked. I then want to go back to hearing voices in my head and trotting back and forth all day.
At the time, I was still trying to figure out the song. I knew it from somewhere, but I couldn’t put a hoof on it. It seemed to be a song from my past.
From my childhood hat, my parents would sing to me every night. Then again, my father would always sing that poor meatball one and it’s on top of a hill and shit.
Forgot what’s that song called. Then again, I’m over …. Well, by then I was over fifty-seven-thousand years old of age.
Well, I tried to figure it out, but no cigar, but I ended up in Manehatten.
For Manehatten, it was decent, but of course, you have the new Yorkers shit fuckers. I mean, there’s the rich French snobs and the hobos.
Speaking of hobos, I actually created a character called Yobo the hobo and strangely enough, he was in this universe, well, a version of himself.
It’s hard to explain. Yobo saw me and just said, “Hey buddy!! How’s it been since my universe got fucking destroyed!?” He also said that in a drunk voice.
I then said, “Yobo? Aren’t you supposed to be in my universe, well, at least when it got destroyed?”
He then said, “well, yes, but I fucking escaped and I found this universe.”
I then asked him, “but that’s fucking impossible. This universe wasn’t even opened. How did you get through?”
He then said, “I don’t fucking know. Three guys in ropes opened the portal and told me to stay here until you came.”
I then asked, “Three man in ropes? Whom the fuck are you talking about? No one else knows about off the grid except for me, TK, Factory Dash, TF, and apparently Neon.”
He then said, “I don’t fucking know, but this place with talking Technicolor ponies is great. You don’t even have to get high to see them.”
He then looked up and said, “Oh look, a piano.”
He then was killed by the piano that was accidently dropped on him. So yea, there goes a missing character of mine that I didn’t know that he was here in the first place.
In addition, about those three guys, I found out what he was talking about, but it will sound a little weird when I explain to you guys in the future.
Well, I then trotted towards the place where that explosion happened that one night, when Jack and Mac came over for a sleepover.
I then walked into the damaged place and even though its only has been a fucking week since the sleepover instant, it was still an investigation site.
Apparently, either there was retards working the scene or they are obsessed fuckers. Well, I got both of that right, because next to me was an overweight pony, who was a retard.
No wonder he was obsessed. Maybe he couldn’t read the number of how many Twinkies he’s supposed to eat. One package, not 500.
He then told me in a very slow voice in a retarded way, “Hey you. Get away from there, or I’ll have to come over there and…. Uhhhhh….. fuck it. I don’t feel like walking three feet to you. I’ll catch you one day criminal scum.”
He slowly rolled away from me.
I went deeper into the creator of the explosion and actually found the device I was looking for. Well, I almost had it, when a robotic foreleg smashed it to tiny pieces.
I slowly looked up and it seemed to be a robotic pony that was being controlled by voice command and shit. it then grabbed me by the neck and was about to knock me out, until I hit it with some acid that I appeared to have in my satchel and shit.
I honestly don’t know why I have acid in my bag, but it was there. Now, the fucking acid didn’t destroy the robot’s face, but only stunned it for a few seconds, which its grasp was loosened around my neck.
I then looked at my surroundings and found a way up to the top of the buildings.
I started to climb metal ladders and kept stumbling around, because apparently, fucking Boston people don’t know what to fucking do and shit.
I eventually got to the top and was looked for the robot. I was over the edge, checking to see where he was and he was nowhere in sight.
Then I thought too soon, which he put his hoof on the roof and started to chase me. I mean, this robot seemed advantage and shit. I then started to run, which required me to jump from rooftop to roof top.
Fortunately enough for me, the roof tops were small enough jumping distances to jump to. In fact, I was able to lose the robot guy. Until my dreams came rushing back in, and I yelled saying no, this grabbed the robots attention and was going to fucking kill me.
I then tried to run, but I couldn’t with the thoughts on my mind, but I sat against a metal box to calm down quickly and tried to remember the melody to that one song.
It calmed me down and I was able to run again. The robot guy was not too far on the trail and shit, to which I was about to jump to the next roof top.
Unfortunately, there was no more roofs. Instead, there were the streets of Manehatten. I looked down, and decided to say fuck it and jumped down.
Well, for me, I jumped right in front of Twilight.
She was surprised I jumped from the roof and asked, “Knight? What are you doing here?”
I was about to say something, but then the robot guy jumped down behind me and tried to punch me in the face, but I ducked, but the robot left a hole in the brick wall.
I then ran into the streets of Manehatten. I kept running and trying to avoid obstacles, but the robot guy was still hot on my trail.
I then turned to another street, to which I found a shit load of uhhhh. Cabs I guess you would call them, but the ones for the rich.
I then decided to get into one, but keep moving in and out of the things, so the robot would be confused of where I was. I eventually got into a taxi that was had rich people in it.
They said to me, “Who the blazes are!? Get out this instance!”
I then replied to those idiot bastards, “Yea, that’s going to be bit of a problem for me.”
Then that rich pony guy continued to complain about me and said, “I demand this dam instance that you get out right now, I’ll shall call the guards on you!”
I was like ‘ooooooooooo’ he said the word dam. So fucking what!? I say the fucking F-bomb almost a thousand times a day, and I’m not exaggerating on that part either.
I actually had a counter once and recorded how many times I said the word ‘fuck’ or a form of the word ‘fuck’ and it came down to about a thousand.
Then the bitch right next to him, which was possibly a whore, said, “Dear!! Do not use such profanity!”
I then stared at them blankly, just thinking of how I cursed so fucking much. I mean, I’m pretty sure by now, this book i’m writing of my life, has over 700 F-bombs. I’m pretty fucking sure it has over a thousand fucks in it as you are reading.
I then returned to see if the robotic suit thing was coming and he was coming very close. In fact, he was coming way.
Well, I then took the old bastaruds top hat from him, said, ‘fuck you,” right in his face.
I then escaped and watched as the robot punched through the taxi thing and made a hold through it. I then knew what happened next.
The robotic thingy looked inside and was ready to kill me with a automatic gun on its shoulder. Well, like I said before, I fucking escaped and all it saw was the rich douce and the bitchy wife of the rich doucebag.
The rich douce said, “does anyone in this bloody town has any manners at all!! Has this town gone nuts!!!”
Then he got out calmly and looked around for me, while I blended into the crowed with a fucking classy top hat on. I then walked around and felt like shit.
That and the dream was starting to come back to me. I couldn’t get the melody in my head at the time and Luna’s moon was about to rise and shit, so I decided to hit a local bar or pub.
Well, technically, there were no wizards there, since all fucking wizards are all British people.
Well, I thought maybe some beer could help me get the melody back. I mean, when you’re drunk anything is possible I mean, even killing your mother and father on the road.
Now, depending on how you say mother and father, you might be a Jew, and I might’ve done zombie Hitler a favor.
Well, I was at the pub, all tired and shit and I sat at the bat table or where the fucking bar tender works at. He asked me what I fucking wanted and I said tequila.
Well, tequila is the best liquor to go by when tired or fucking depressed as fuck. I mean, when I wasn’t going to sleep at night with the dreams and all, I would either be in the living room, listing to old classic country songs or in the basement with dead silence while drinking tequila and shit.
Well, the bar tender gave me a glass, which I then said to him, “dude!? What the fuck!!? You goanna give me just a small glass? Give me the dam bottle!!”
Then a random stallion behind me said, “He’s right!! Why don’t we get the bottle you son of a mother fucking bitch!!?” Then there was a crowd that said behind him, “yea!”
Then the bar tender said, “well, for obvious reasons. One, you could hurt somebody when you go home. Two, it’s the city law that I don’t give you the entire bottle right away, and three, its fucking expensive. Its 20 bits per bottle.”
Then the random stallion said “Revolution!!!!”
Then every pony started to kill each other in the bar, where I just went behind the counter and grabbed all the tequila bottles there was.
I then sneaked through out of the bar fight and went to the really dark alley way that has one dim light bulb by the door to the bar.
I just sat there next to a dead hobo’s body while drinking my shit. I even talked to him, saying, “Know what dead hobo body. I know we just met, but you are my best friend. You want some tequila?”
Then a random pony was tossed through the door way and into the dark alley that I was at and he got up and went back into the fight.
I then said to the dead hobo body, “don’t mind them Mr. dead hobo body. They are just assholes. You have any weed on you? No, wait, hobos have crack. But you’re not a black guy pony. Maybe black hobos have crack? But then what does white hobo’s have? Maybe heroine? I think they can smoke AIDS. Got any AIDS I can smoke?”
Then I heard a pony running towards the dark alley and then was tackled by some gang of ponies. They then started to beat the living shit out of the pony, while I just watched.
Well, I was drunk and talking a dead hobo’s body, why not? Then, the pony that was beating the other pony to a bloody pulp killed him and he looked at me and said, “Wait a second. I know you. You're that guy!!!”
He was then about to take out a walkie -talkie, but I punched him in the stomach before he could reach for the thing. Well, I am sober when it comes to combat.
I then punched his legs until one of them was broken and slammed his head against the brick wall until he was almost dead.
When it was about to a point where his noise was bleeding and he couldn’t see straight, I stopped and asked him, “Who are you!? What do you want from me !?”
Unfortunately, the pony passed out, but I found a club card.
Yes, you see, the club card seemed to be a clue for me to go to, so maybe I could find some answers there.
Then out of fucking nowhere, two guards came up to me and said, “Hey! Did you kill that pony!?”
I then stared at them for a bit and then pointed to the dead hobo body.
To which what then happened was that the guards then took the dead hobo body and said, “You coming with us!”
as they were taking the dead hobo body away, his head was looking at me and I said, “I’m sorry dead hobo body. Please forgive me.”
Before I went to the club, I went back inside the bar to get a few beers for on the way over to the club. When I went inside, the fight was still going strong, except a little bit of the fight was taken outside and it was starting to get bloody and the guards were even being killed.
I looked for the beers, and lucky for me, they had Irish beer. Irish beer is always the best to drink when in a fight.
I then went outside to go to the club. With the fight outside, it was a little hard to doge the attacks from other ponies, because it was starting to get to be a battle then a simple everyday bar fight.
Then, a little colt stood in the middle of the fighting area and started to sing. He was singing that one song from Les Miserable’s; the ‘I dreamed a dream song.’
(keep in mind, the vieo is there so you can compare with my parody lyrics and the actual lyrics.)
There was a time when ponies were high And those ponies were dying of cancer There was a time when all Zebras had AIDS And the ponies laughed at them and didn’t even help them There was a time for everything But then it all went right. I dreamed a dream that AIDS had gone by When our alcohol levels were high And we all partied hard. I dreamed that Asians would never die I dreamed that guy over there would stop looking at me Then I was a littler fucker, and an asshole Some dreams were fucked and latterly fucked by a scootaloo. Wasted and high Italians gave me a ransom. No turkey under cooked. No fucks wasted at all But the tiger fucks the moon at night And their roars that’s fucks birds As cats fly through space while rainbows come out of their asses As they turn your dream into AIDS He touched me in the no-no place on my pony dick He filled my dreams with happiness and fear Michael Jackson fucked me! But he was gone when I woke up in his bed When a turkey fucked a horse And still I dream that Robert Downy Jr. will gang bang my ho’s That I will fuck a lion But there are dreams that cannot be Like being freed from Robin Williams basement Or a thunder cloud killing a pony named Obama. Or possibly doing cocaine with Whitney Huston’s dead body And giving cancer with Willie Nelson’s horse. I had a dream that my life would be 20% cooler So different from this fight I’m living in So different now, from what it seems Now, OJ Simpson killed the dream with a knife.
I was really surprised that that little boy knew who Willie Nelson was. I thought that generation had forgotten poor old Willie. Nice to know he’s making a comeback with ponies.
In addition, after the little kid singed, a drunken Irish pony knocked him out.
When I saw that, I raised a hoof in the air and said to him, “Long live Irish ponies!”
He had a big smile on his face and also raised his hoof in the ir, but was tackled by a guard. That was my cue to get the fuck out of here.
I then searched high and low for the club, which the club name was the Nightclub. Nice name by the way for a club.
Well, eventually I found it and of fucking course, there was a line to get into the place. I could’ve gotten in, but I would need to have either Twilight with me, or a bunch of drunken hoes with me that do cocaine.
Because, you know? If you want to get into a club, you need hot chicks with you. I really wished Twilight could’ve been here, and luck was on my side, because Twilight was with her guards and she founded me.
She told her guards to back off and told them to go back home and she trotted up to me.
She then said to me, “Knight? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be back in Stalia?”
I then continued to stare at her, and keep in mind, I had finally figured out that Twilight had that crush on me, and I just stared at Twilight.
I was thinking of what to do.
Eventually, my brain told me to do, ‘Knight. Just listen and listen well. You might not have a crush on Twilight, but this might work. Tell Twilight that you want to hang out and go to the club. Then get her drunk and then figure out who is trying to kill you. Then, return Twilight safely back to her hotel room, or where ever the fuck she is staying at in Manehatten. Besides, along as she doesn’t try to make a move on you by trying to fuck you or give you any kind of pleasure at all, you’ll be good. Now go and ask her Knight.’
I continued to look at Twilight and she continued to look at me, and I do wonder what she was thinking me at the time.
IN TWILIGHT’S THOUGHT DURING THE TIME OF WHAT WAS KNIGHT THINKING… ‘Knight is so handsome and hot. He’s also very smart and so lovely.
However, he’s a fool at the same time, smokes weed, and gets drunk. Almost every night. However, he’s my fool. My sweet lovable fool.
I hope he notices me and he asks me on a date! That would be so wonderful! Then if our relationship was good, then we could kiss and then start having sexual intercourse.
I don’t know why other ponies call it sex. I know its short, but it’s not by the book. Then we could have kids of our very own. In addition, spike and Wolf could be good friends when he moves in with me if that time ever comes.
Although, I don’t know how well it will work out, since Princess Celestia is planning on making him into an Alicorn if he passes the test. Oh it doesn’t matter. Along as we’re together, it doesn’t matter at all!’
BACK TO KNIGHT’S POV OF THINGS……. Why do I feel like Twilight was thinking of fucking me and was really want me to date her? Although, the question is, why did she want me?
I mean, she can have any other stallion she wants, but she chooses me instead. I don’t know.
The way that I do it, is that I will never understand women, nor will man ever understand them. In other words, don’t question them.
That makes some sense. However, I can’t help but feel to question Twilight’s love for me, because why?
Who knows, maybe it’s her hormones or something. Definitely not her period, because she would be piss at me then loving me.
I don’t know. I guess don’t question women, because we men will never ever understand them. It’s sort of like the question of the meaning of life. We will never understand 42, other than making it our heads explode if we were to understand that number.
Well, I then said to Twilight, “Hey! Twilight, I’ve got an idea. Since we’re both here in Manehatten and we both seem to have some time on our hands, why don’t we just, you know, hang out. We could walk into the Night Club and have a drink or two and possibly dance perhaps?”
I also said that with an overused creepy smile that made me looked like I was nervous.
Twilight then had a smile on her face with a sparkle in her eyes, and she said this, “oh I would love to do that with you Knight. It has been a while since us, as good friends had spent any time with each other.”
I do wonder what was she was thinking when she said yes.
BACK TO TWILIGHTS MIND….. ‘Yes!! It’s all ready happening. He’s asking me out on a date! Well, it’s not really a date, but only to hang out with him. However, it’s like a date, since we’re going to spend some time together. Oh this so wonderful! It’s all coming together.
He might even ask me out on another date later on. Maybe he will call it a date even. Although, if we kiss, then that means I would have to have him over at my parent’s house so my parents could meet him.
Oh, this is all going according to plan. Oh, only if I could tell some pony about this. If this night goes well, then I could tell my friends and it will be great.’
BACK TO KNIGHT’S POV OF THINGS………………………… Ok now, I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable right then and there. However, I shrugged it off and Twilight and I went towards the door.
When the security guy saw us, he kneeled down and lets us pass right on through.
When we went in, those bitchs that take the coats when you enter one of those types of clubs even kneeled down to Twilight, and asked why she was here.
Twilight response was, “oh. Don’t worry about us. I’m here on a date…. I mean to hang out with my friend Knight.”
She even had a nervous smile on her face.
She even looked at me since she accidentally said date, which I then thought, ‘well then. I guess my feelings were right then. well, I just have to figure out a way to knock her out and make sure she doesn’t hate me when I knock her out with a syringe or reifies I guess.
Alternatively, that type of medicine that doctors use to knock out their patients, so they can steal all of their shit from their wallets, give them AIDS and possibly Malaria, and take a shit on their face.
Whatever, I just have to do that, find the guy, return Twilight safely back to her stay at whatever Hotel she is staying at, and kill this pony who is trying to kill me.
Why do I think these long thoughts out? I’m a really fast thinker aren’t I. I wonder if I can sing I’m blue in my head.
‘’ I’m blue dabadeedabdadedabade. Dabadedabadadabadedbada. I have a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the color of all that I wear. Blue are the streets and the tress are too. I have a girlfriend and she is so blue. Blue are the people here that walk around, blue like my corvette, it’s in and outside. Blue are the words I say and what I think. Blue is the feelings that live inside me. ‘’
That was fun to do in my head. Maybe I could do some other random 80’s song that people might have forgotten.
‘’ talking away I don’t know what I’m to say I’ll say it anyway. Today isn’t my day to find you. Shying away. I’ve been coming for your O.K. ‘’
Man, the 80’s songs were almost always about love isn’t it. Wait a second. How do I remember that song? I mean, I’m over fifty-seven thousand years old, and I somehow remember that song. It seems that I would forget about it.
Then again, there is that one song that I will never get out of my head, which was when I got rick-rolled on you tube.
‘’ Were no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I. A full commitments what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy. I just want to tell you how I feeling, gotta make you understand. Never gonna give you up never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. ‘’
That was so fucking annoying back on earth and I want to kill those who fucking Rick- Rolled me. Those trolling fuckers. Wait a second. Why the fuck am I still thinking in my thoughts.
I have to get serious here and knock Twilight out so I can find the guy who could be a possible lead to finding the pony who wants me dead. Then again, it was fun to think those thoughts, except for the rick rolled part. Well, whatever, I really don’t give a fuck anyway. I wonder why no pony even questioned are trying to talk to me and…. Wait, we are walking.’
Yea, I thought that thought for very long, and for some reason, I didn’t notice that Twilight and I were walking to the bar. I didn’t even noticed that.
However, when I got back home, I opened up a little portal that let me go back, I was curious of what the bitch and Twilight was talking about while I was doing nothing.
Well, as I was staring off into deep space and singing those lyrics in my head, the bitch said or more like asked to Twilight, “but your majesty. I don’t mean to be mean or anything, but why him? Why are you on a date with a low class stallion, where you can have any other boyfriend of your choosing who is more to your level?”
Twilight didn’t get mad of course, and simply said, “it’s hard to explain. Besides, he’s the personal student of Celestia.”
The bitch then told Twilight, “He’s a personal student!? Therefore, by technical standards, he’s a little bit of royalty then. Well then, I’m sorry to hold you up on talking with you. Please, continue what was that you were doing.”
We then walked past her, which I seemed to follow Twilight without even noticing. That is somewhat fucking creepy.
In addition, when we entered on the dance floor, or the main room of the Night Club, no one even noticed that a princess was here. Either they were too drunk or too high to notice. Let’s get back to when I finally realized what the fuck I was doing. Well, I was looking around and there was a rave going on. There was even lighted floors and bunch of ponies just having a good time. I think there was even a disco ball on the ceiling.
There was also some kick-ass music going on in the background. However, I recognize familiar kick-ass music from Earth. In fact, it was fucking Daft Punk.
I then remembered something when I was at the private school with Celestia back in my Cantorlot days, which I will talk about another time.
You see, there was this one time right after I had cast a spell on Wolf so he could talk. Well, Celestia was so surprised and proud of me of doing such a amazing spell and creating one right away, she even told Luna and Twilight, along with some other important ponies that do school shit for the academy.
Well, unfortunately, I rather threw a party in one of the main rooms, and I was the DJ. I was playing the beats from the Daft punk songs, which was around the world/ harder better faster stronger remix.
In addition, I casted a spell onto myself that gave me the power to speak in an electronic voice while singing the song.
Yea, when Celestia walked in with Luna and Twilight the others, it was good. I’ll tell that story another time. However, right then, I was surprised that somehow, my music from the academy got out and was playing at clubs.
In fact, the DJ’s looked like the two who play the Daft Punk shit. You know those people who have robot masks for heads. Well, they were playing ‘television rules the nation/ that Mexican festival song that I don’t know the name to.’
It was fucking badass. In addition, I had a Hugh smile on my face. Even though these ponies didn’t know what the fuck television was, they still enjoyed it. Just hope Daft Punk doesn’t come here and sue the ponies.
However, that was the first song at first, but as soon as Twilight and I got to the bar, they started playing that one song that was also a mash up with dead mouse.
Well, l we got to the bar and we couldn’t get the bar tender out exact attention and Twilight was willing to go and order the drinks, but I simply said, “please Twilight. I offered to take you out, so let get the drinks. Besides, it’s the gentlecolt thing to do.”
As I was walking away to get the drinks, I just wanted to punch myself so hard in the face just for saying that. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be a gentleman from time to time, but this wasn’t that high class type bar, where they play big band music.
This was a fucking dance electronic club. Besides, I needed to slip the drugs into her drink without her noticing it.
I went to the bar and he asked, “You with Princess Twilight?”
I then said, “Well, yes. How come you didn’t come over there to serve us?”
Then the bar tender said to me, “well, because I have polio and frankly, I have a monkey on my back that’s going to give me the AIDS any second now if I don’t disarm this bomb he has given me. So I’m kind of busy at the moment, but you can fix the drinks for you two.”
Then he talked to the monkey, which was, “now monkey who started the AIDS, why do you have a kinife to my throat?” Then the monkey said to the bat tender, “I want you to get Cancer!!!”
Then the guy asked, “what kind of cancer?”
Then the monkey said, “Pony Cancer!!! Then I want you to fuck this ape right next you!!!”
Surprisingly, there was ape right next to him that I didn’t even noticed. In addition, it seemed like I was telling a bad joke to you guys.
Well, I then got behind the bar and fixed the drinks. I had Tequila, because, you know, you can never have enough tequila. I mean, it’s the illegal Mexican drink, the greatest invention by the illegal Mexicans, ever since they created the taco.
For Twilight, I fixed her a martini and slipped some reifies in it.
I then went back to Twilight with the drinks, and happily took her martini and drunk it. After her first slip, she was knocked out cold.
I mean, I only put a tiny bit of the drug into her drink, so I don’t overdose it. Then again, do reifies even knock you out?
I think I might have given her something else that I don’t know of. Maybe I should have checked the bottle at the time.
After I finish writing my life story down, or at least this chapter of my life story, I have to check in with Twilight and see if she experienced anything that might have been related to the drug that I gave her.
Well, I then told the bar tender, to which the monkey and ape was gone, to keep an eye on Twilight while I was gone looking for the guy that I had to go look for.
In addition, when I went up to the bat tender, he said, “well. I killed the monkey and the ape and I believe I’m going to go to jail now, or at least in the town anyway, for killing an animal that was endangered. Oh well, I had a good life. I always knew my life would end with a guy raping me and jail. Maybe I can kill myself by chocking on the pony’s dick that I am forced to suck. On the other hand, I can just kill myself right now and get over with it. Fuck it; I’ll take the jail thing.”
Then I said, “I’m not going to ask what the fuck is wrong with you. Listen, can you watch over Princess Twilight while I do something?”
He then said, “Sure. Just put her in the pile of other women that were drugged and put there so their boyfriends can fuck other chicks.”
I then saw where he pointed with his hoof and there was a pile of women who were passed out from drugs.
Then I saw a stallion who looks like the forever alone meme and was a nerd and was about to touch one of the women and the bartender grabbed a blunt object with his hooves and said, “Hey! What the fuck did I tell you!!Do not rape the women!! Can’t you read the sign!?”
The nerd pony then ran away as fast as fuck and looked like a nerd guy that would be if light was shined on him right after playing World Of Warcraft for three years straight.
The nerd pony even hissed at the bar guy. I then put Twilight over at the pile, even thought there are some chances that she will be raped, but come on.
She was already raped by spike if you recall. I wouldn’t be surprised if spike had followed us and he went rape Twiight again, which was what happened.
Yes, Spike followed us and raped Twilight again the bar. I’m so surprised that the bar tender didn’t even noticed that.
Well, after I spike doing what he was doing with Twilight, I slowly backed away and went to look for a guy that could possibly help me.
I then walked away from the rape scene.
I then thought, ‘wait a second. Who the fuck am I even looking for!?’
I should have had thought it threw, however, luck was on my side, because I recognized that leader pony from earlier before.
He was sitting in his little private booth area, pimping with his bitches. Of course, he had security guards with him as well.
However, I said fuck it, since I could easily kick their asses. As I was walking up to the leader guy, he saw me, while he had his cool shades on and he even smiled at me.
I got to the security guy and broke several of his bones and kicked his ass. I then was about to walk up to the leader pony, until that robotic pony thingy jumped from down onto the coffee table that stood in the little private area.
Apparently, he was at a balcony above the area and was looking right at me. I then said, to myself, “Well, shit fuck.”
The robotic pony thingy then was about to punch me into the ground, but I dogged swiftly. I was then near the DJ and then they both looked at me.
I then said to them, “Hey. If you’re going to stare at me and watch me fight, can you at least play robot rock?”
Then one of them said, “Why of course. We do have to thank you for making this awesome music and all.”
I then said to them, “you’re very much welcomed.”
Then the robotic thingy was pointing a gun at me and shooting at me, but of course, I dogged the bullets, while having robot rock playing in the background.
then the robot got near me and I started to throw a few punches, but fucking dam! It hurt like a mother fucker!
The robot then was about to use its flamethrower on me, to whom I then quickly got behind the counter as quick as I could before it could, set me on fire.
I then hid behind the counter, seconds away from the robot coming behind with me and killing me.
However, within those seconds, I then paused for a moment, or like that Holmes a vision in those Sherlock Holmes movies, and thought for a moment.
I thought that when I punched the robot, it was hard. Several materials could be hard.
Such as diamond, gold, silver and other such known metals. Then of course, I then thought that robots were mate of metal of course, and how do you destroy metal?
You turn it into to liquid or liquefy it, by using fire. I then saw a match and surprisingly a hairspray can right next to me. I then took the match and…. You see where this is going.
When the robot was right at the counter top, I slowly came up, and lit that mother fucker on fire. Of course, it didn’t hurt at first, but then, he started to slowly melt.
Well, not everything melted, of course the wires to the robot was fucking up and the other shit was being destroyed and shit, but he was melting all together.
As soon as I was finished with the fucking robot, I looked at the leader pony guy and he was about to run away, until I caught up to him, and interrogated him.
I then yelled right in his face, “Tell me who the fuck sent you!! Who the fuck sent you to fucking kill me!!?”
He then said, “aright! All right! I’ll tell you. I can’t tell you the name, but I can tell you where he works at. His hideout is the abandoned electrical plant down on south ST. that’s all I know. I swear to Celestia that’s all I fucking know!”
I then said to him, “Pray you never see me again.”
I then let him go and I forgot to metion, that when I started to fight, everybody ran away. In addition, at the women pile, some women were taken when the fight started with the robot and Spike was no longer here.
I then put a hoof on Twilight and use a spell to look into Twilight’s memory, so I could find out where she was staying at.
Apparently, it’s the main attraction Hotel of Manehatten. It was a rich fancy hotel and all, filled with French snooty ponies.
Well, I then grabbed Twilight an teleported to her room, which surprisingly had no guards in it and all.
I checked to see if I was in her room and I was, because Spike was masturbating and Spike looked at me.
He then said, “Hey. What uhhhhhhh…… what are you doing?”
I then said to him, “nothing. I saw you rape Twilight for a second time.”
Then Spike said, “listen. About that….”
I then cut him off and told him, “I don’t want to fucking know. I don’t care if you have been doing this since you first saw Rarity or wince you first found out you have a dick. I don’t care. Just promise me this. Never speak of what you did when raping Twilight, nor kill her from your AIDS.”
Then Spike said, “How did you know I had AIDS?”
I then said to him, “listen. I’m going to give you these. When I leave, I want you to inject this into Twilight. Then after every other time you rape her, you give her this. Got it?”
what I had given him was a syringe that cures the AIDS. Yea, I had the cure and I knew it was safe. Besides, I was sure that Twilight was going to fuck me in my sleep one night and I didn’t want to get AIDS.
Then again, I was immune to all diseases, so it didn’t matter, but still.
I then left and put Twilight on her bed, while Spike gave her the shot.
Then Spike went back to masturbating. He’s just confused, that’s all.
I then teleported back outside of the hotel and went to find the abandoned building on South ST. it was dark and three at night, but I was able to find it.
To be honest, it kind of creped me out, with the mood and the atmosphere and shit. I swear I heard like a ghost or something when I was near by the place. I swear to Celestia that I did. I even think it was a poltergeist. God, that just gives me the chills.
Then again, I guess it isn’t so bad as Neon, because with him, he creeps me even more out. I then went inside the building, honestly, no one was out here to stop me. For a pony that wanted to kill me and possibly has been watching me for a good long while, sure has shitty security.
However, I got sings that said, ‘come to the heart of the electrical house.’
I don’t know if the pony was trying to make everything serious or try to be just stupid.
However, I found some pictures of the previous Galas and pictures of me with Gala tickets. There was even some Gala ticket stubs lying on the ground.
As I was walking, written on the walls with blood and I’m for sure this was blood, and it said, ‘remember the Gala tickets.’
I honestly started to get a little creped out, because what the fuck did that Gala have to do with anything!?
Well, it was like a maze to get though and to get to the center, but I was almost there. As I was walking, I saw how this pony seemed to create the robots.
For one thing, there electrical equipment and creating shit everywhere man. In addition, of course, there was blood on the walls and shit.
Can’t have enough blood, can you? I also saw the guns, shit, and pictures of me holding one inside my house.
Now it made me think who has been watching me. I thought it was TF at first, but then a thought came to me. It couldn’t be him.
For one thing, if that was TF, this was a weak thing for him to do. I mean, he usually do more elaborate shit, and actually out smarts me and out fights usually throughout the many weeks on end.
However, he does know how to do this kind of shit, but I don’t think he’s that insane enough to put actual blood on the wall, well, at least not yet.
Besides, he wouldn’t just go over to me, but my friends and this would have taken place throughout the entire country of Equestria or this inter world.
I eventually reached a narrow path that led to the center of the abandoned electrical factory. I do have to admit though, that I think this electrical company factory, was and electrical factory. I believe it was something else.
Something likes rainbow factory type of feel. Like something even darker happened here many years ago and was abandoned by god. Now I’m just reading too deep into this.
Well, anyway, as I was saying, it was a narrow path way, and there pipes leading to the room and the floor was that grating type and some steam was leaking from the pipes, which I was surprised was still working.
I was about to go, until two ponies and a robotic pony attacked me. One of the ponies came straight for me, but I snapped his neck before he could even lay a hoof on me.
I also saw he had a gone with him, so I took that shot that other pony and killed him instantly. Now the part that I had trouble with was the mother fucking robot.
In addition, remember those dream shit that I have problems with controlling? Yea, it came back. I kept thinking about and it just made me weak.
However, I pushed through the fight. I fought back with all of my strength. I tried my best not to think of Fausticorn or Celetia and Luna fillies or even that island.
Something about that island just wanted me to find out every badly.
Of course, with the robot fight and all, it was very hard on my hooves, and I eventually took a broken pipe, which leaked a lot of steam into the robots face at first.
That gave me an advantage to attack him, and surprisingly, the steam helped somehow. Not sure why, or what was inside the steam and it was made of, but it helped and I was able to knock out the robot.
Not kill him, because I didn’t have fire for that matter. Then, I just decided to concentrate on trying to get that melody back in my head, so I could stop thinking about those dreams that are like nightmares to me.
I tried and I tired, but it wouldn’t come back. It just wouldn’t. I even cried a little. I had one or two tear drops fall from my eyes, because I wanted it to stop.
I wanted the melody to come back and save me from my dreams. And it was also a lovely tune. A tune that somehow I hold dear to, because it reminded me of something I couldn’t put my finger or hoof on it.
As a third tear drop was about to fall, the melody came back.
It came back into my head. I mean, I had my eyes closed, crying and on the floor, curled up and shit. I even had my head down.
When I heard the tune, I had a smile on my face. I was so happy it came back. I knew there was hope left. I just knew it.
When I went to look up and continue on and find this pony who has put me through hell, I saw something.
I saw a portal, with a picture on it. Well, more like a portal that was a window. In addition, I saw them. I saw Fausticorn in a child’s bedroom.
She wasn’t looking at me of course, but looking at towards a bed, where a child would be at. The room was also dark and looked like something that was meaningful to me.
I then saw the window that was near the bed. It was nighttime and the stars out were quite beautiful. I mean, they were so calm and peaceful and just lovely.
However, I saw another portal right outside that window. I couldn’t make it out what it lead to, but it looked like a portal that a person would only here through his or her mind.
you see, sometimes portals can open up, and it can sometimes only connect with one person or two people at once well, and there only way that a person could know that portal is there, is through listening to whatever comes through that portal.
The portal connects to the mind, however, you never see it, nor do you know what’s through it, but what you hear from it. I didn’t know who or what was listening in. I then went back to what was happening.
Fausticorn was sitting there right by the child’s bed. She was singing the melody. I could even make out the lyrics. It was ‘you are my sunshine.’
She sang it in such a motherly tone, it sort of made me cry a little bit. Why? I don’t know, but I just did. her voice was just…… I don’t know how to express it or explain it, but it was similar to Celestia’s voice, but there was a more motherly tone to it.
She was also signing the song ‘you are my sunshine.’
I didn’t quite get it. I mean, did she go to Earth and learn the song or did she create the song? I didn’t know what to say.
Then, I saw the child. I saw the child that was being singed to and that was in the bed. It was that child from the island. The child that I couldn’t make out. He was there.
In addition, he looked at me. He just stared at me with his blank white eyes. I know he has pupils in his eyes, it’s just that my mind was either playing tricks on me to not fully see the pony or the universe portal isn’t that well.
However, he just stared at me, as Fausticorn continued to sing her tune of sadness or happiness, as I never understood what that song meant to be.
However, that one universe portal did mystify me and I still don’t know where it ends up or who is listening to the song right now.
*BACK ON EARTH IN THE YEAR 1933………….. The year was 1933. Oliver Wood was sitting down on a bench. He had a brown paper sack with him and had some lunch that he had.
He was enjoying his life of a musician. He played for the Rice Brothers Gang and he was doing great with business.
He just wished that the great depression never had happened. Times were certainly tough, especially with the dustbowl.
Farmers were having no luck with the dust keep getting in their way and forcing them to leave their homes.
It was hard enough as it is. They had to leave their farms and in search of better land r jobs that could keep them afloat with income.
Oliver had thought all of these things and was finishing his lunch. Then, a tune came up in his head. A lovely voice of a motherly tone came up in his head.
He had heard the lyrics very clearly and made the words out just as fine as he ever did. Oliver didn’t want to lose the lyrics, as he was afraid he would lose them and he would never think about them again.
He had gotten a pencil just lying around somewhere and he wrote the lyrics down on his empty brown paper sack that once held food inside it.
Oliver had a smile on his face, and had known that he had a new song and it would make him and his band more famous.
In, addition, his band recorded the song and later in life, in the year of 1937, he had later sold it to Jimmie Davis who went on to record it and made it famous.
However, The Pine Ridge Boys also went to record it first.
In addition, throughout the years, it was a beloved song, loved by millions and it all started with Olivier listening to the lyrics in his head.
BACK IN MANEHATTEN………………. I just didn’t want to bother with that right now. I just wanted to concentrate on the task at hands.
When I found out that Fausticorn was singing this, I returned to the floor, having my head looked down on the ground. I was even crying a little bit.
I mean, when I saw her in my dreams and I didn’t know why she was in there, it was a nightmare. However, when I hear this song, it helps me with the dreams; a she is from my nightmares.
She helped me, and I don’t know what to say about it. Then, the portal decreased in size and the hole got smaller and smaller and soon, it disappeared and the song was now turned into silence.
However, the song didn’t stop playing for me, because I had the tune playing my head.
Then, the robot got back up for round two, and then, for some reason, anger boiled up inside me and I fought the robot.
Of course, it was an idiotic move on my part, because my anger didn’t make the fight any easier. All it did was push me to fight.
Well, the robot pinned me down on the ground and was about to kill me, until it stopped. It just froze there and didn’t nothing.
It was as if it was told to not kill me. Then I had thought maybe the pony who wanted me dead wanted alive. I then grabbed the gun, ready to kick this guys asshole.
I went towards the door, and kicked it open. I then checked to see if there were any guards at all, but there were none.
All I saw was a shrivel chair that was facing its back to me. Soon, I heard a voice. It wasn’t a male voice, but that of a female voice.
Then, the chair turned around, and revealed a colorful pony that was a mare. She had a light bluish and had a grayish mane color.
She even had horseshoes as a cutie mark. She then said to me, “after all of this time. I have finally got you.”
I then asked her, “Who are you and what do you want?”
Then she said, “oh. It’s quite too late for that, Knight. Of course, what I wanted is what all ponies wanted. A simple ticket to the Gala.”
I then had a ‘what the fuck’ expression o my face and asked, “Wait? What the fuck are you talking about?”
Then the mare said, “Don’t you play dumb with me you fool! don’t you remember me! from the time when I offered you to help you with your gardening, for just a simple exchange for the extra ticket to the Gala.”
I then said to her, “uhhhhhhhhhh……… no, actually. I don’t remember that at all. Who the fuck are you?”
She then said, “My name is Horseshoes!”
I then couldn’t help but laugh. I mean seriously, horseshoes. I mean, I know she has two horseshoes for a cutie mark, but come on. Were her parents retarded?
I actually looked that up and they were retarded. Well then, it was until funny to me.
Then said to her, “really? Horseshoes? That’s your name?”
She then yelled at me and said, “Don’t laugh at that! Besides, I wanted to change my name to p.t.d.g.t, but of course, you can’t even pronounce it. It was supposed to stande for pony that didn’t get gala ticket. And you didn’t give meit when I offered to help you with your garden.”
I then said to her, “I don’t have a fucking garden. In fact, I don’t know what the fuck I have in my house.”
Then she said, “Don’t you lie to me. I have a witness and her name is Pinkie Pie!”
I then had an idea hit me and to which I then said to her, “Wait. Are you thinking of Twilight?”
She then said, “No! who the fuck is she. I’m talking about you, and your garden in Ponyville!”
I then realized that she is also retarded. I then said to her, “yea, you mixed me up with Twilight didn’t you.”
She then said, “You are the personal student of Celestia, aren’t you?”
I then said, “Yes. However, I’m not really friends with Pinkie or the others of Twilight friends.”
She then said, “So, you’re not the one that I was looking for who didn’t give me the Gala ticket?”
I then said to her retarded face, “no. no I am not you retarded bitch. The one you’re looking for is Twilight Sparkle, which chances are, she is the one who need to talk to about the Gala ticket.”
She then said, “So, where do I find her?”
I then said to the bitch, “well. For one thing. She is the Princess of Equestria and is pretty much on of the rulers of this land. So, you can’t really try to kill her since she is pretty much powerful then you are and she has a shit load of guards.”
She then said, “Oh. So I don’t think I will be able to get the Gala Ticket in time from her, won’t I?”
I then replied to the dumbass, “Well, for one thing. You are seven years late. The Gala happened pretty much seven years ago and you’re a fucking dumbass for not even realizing it.”
She then said, “well shoot. I’ve been planning this for a long time. I mean, I even went to school and came up with ideas for those robots to kill Twilight. Well shoot. My bad. I thought I had the right pony. I mean, you are a personal of Celestia and all, well; I’ve wasted so many years of my life. Then again, I guess I could give it a shot at trying to kill Twilight. That and…”
I then whacked the idiotic bitch and I think I killed her with s hovel that was nearby me.
I also said after I knocked her out, “I’m sorry, but you put me through hell, so you have to pay for that. You’re also not putting a hoof on Twilight, even though we’re not technically friends, I do still care for her safety. Besides, even though she has a crush on me, I still don’t give a fuck no matt what. Well, I’m off to bury your body into some hobo’s dumpster. Maybe the hobo can use you as in outhouse you retard.”
I then dragged the body out of the factory, and the robot remained in the position it was for pretty much a long time.
I then dragged her to the nearest dumpster, dropped her off there, and went teleported back to Stalia.
I was back home and Celestia’s sun was about to rise.
In addition, of fucking course, I didn’t get what TK asked of me to get, which was that thing that TF used and shit. However, I was too pissed off of what I had to do and shit, that I wanted to just rest.
When I walk through the door, Wolf was up stairs in my room being molested by Molestia and he in her was moaning and they didn’t know I was back.
I then went into my basement and saw that the thing to help me with my dreams was finished. I looked at the data and everything seemed to be in check. I then gave myself the shot and it actually helped.
I was free from the thoughts from the dreams, for at least twenty-four hours. I had to make more, but it helped. Well, it didn’t erase the thought, but all it did was make me concentrate and not think about the dreams.
However, I still couldn’t go back to sleep of course, but at least I wasn’t going to act like an insane person no more. As for what happened to Twilight, I don’t know actually.
BACK IN MANEHATTEN, WHILE BEING NATTERED BY MORGAN FREEMAN……. Twilight Sparkle was in her bed, possibly thinking about white people shit.
In addition, I do say white people shit, because she sounds like a white chick. In addition, she sounds like a white chick that doesn’t sound hot and something that I wouldn’t even dare hit on.
Nor sleep with her to piss off her white guy husband. However, he was black; I maybe would, and perhaps do cocaine and get into a gang war with some white people.
What? I said it many of times before, I’m mother fucking god and I can do whatever the fuck I want.
I’ll do your mom if I have to prove it to you. She’s possibly hot anyway, and I’ll tap her ass. And if your dad walks in, I’ll kill him and sell him on the white market, since the black market is for black people only.
Then that would rather mean I’ll be your new dad. Then I would abuse you and narrate you to death. That’s right you white ass mother fuckers.
I’m that powerful, because I’m mother fucking freeman. Now shut your white people’s mouths up so I can continue the story that I’m possibly being only paid only five bucks to do.
Twilight was awoken from her deep slumber. Before Twilight had woken up, Spike had once again raped her.
I do have to admit, even though it’s wrong, I have to give props for Spike, because he is the man and deserves a lot of good shit to happen to him.
However, he will never be the man enough to be like me, because I’m Morgan fucking freeman. Besides, I’m black and he sounds like a white guy.
Well, after Spike had empty out his semen into Twilight, he had given her the syringe that he was told to use, since Spike was a white guy, so that meant he had AIDS.
However, I could have cured it with my beautiful black guy narrating voice. That and I’m black, so I can do whatever the fuck I want.
When Twilight woke up, she looked around her room for a bit. She then looked at spike, and asked him, “Spike? Did I go out last night?”
Spike looked at her and was afraid to say she had spent the night with Knight.
However, he had owed Knight for not telling Twilight that he raped her that one time when the white guy doctor went to that universe.
Spike then said to Twilight, “No you didn’t Twilight. You just went to bed early since you were tired from yesterday.”
Twilight had believed what Spike had told her and then said, “I was kind of curious. I dreamed last night that I went to hang out with Knight at a bar, but then I was knocked out. Oh well, we all do dream crazy things, don’t we spike?”
Then she looked up at the ceiling and heard my beautiful black guy Morgan Freeman voice of a black guy god.
She then said to me, “Is someone there? whose voice is that?”
I then politely said to her, “It’s god you mother fucking bitch! Now shut the fuck up and let the black guy do his talking!”
Twilight then said, “Are you a Zebra god?”
I then said to her purple dumbass face, “I isn’t no mother fucking white striped mother fucking zebra you retarded bitch! No wonder Knight doesn’t want to fuck your cute little purple asshole. Well, then, it looks like I’m getting a Morgan Freeman boner now. Know what Twilight?, I’m going to rape and erase your memory of our conversation. Spike, you guard the door while I rape this fine young lady.”
Then Spike said, “Got it Mr. Zebra god.”
Then I said to the little fucker, “Boy, do you want me to slap you silly you fucking retarded animal?”
Then Spike said to me, “No Mr. Black guy sir, whatever a black guy that is.”
I then said, “Thank you and…. And hold on just a dam minute here you racist prick. You say one more make one more black joke, I’ll literally fucking find out where you came from, rape your mother, then stab you fifty-one times in your balls, and give AIDS from African trees. And, I know you don’t know who your mother is, but I’m god and I can find out very easily. Your choice purple asshole.”
Then Spike said to me, “Yes Mr. Morgan Freeman, if that is your name that I am guessing right. I will stop with the black jokes.”
I then said to Spike, “There’s a good boy Spike. Now, I want you to knock once on the door outside if you see anyone coming. Got it? Now, let’s get started here you fine ass…”
I then realize, after talking to Spike so much, I didn’t notice that Twilight escaped through the window.
I then said, “Well, she escaped. Well, I can still find her, but there will not be a bed for the raping, so I guess I’ll just find her and wipe her memory of out conversation. Well, have a nice day Spike.”
I then left somehow, and went to find Twilight, to which I found her flying in the air trying to get away from me.
I then grabbed her by my force and wiped her memory out. After I did that, I returned her to her room at the Hotel and she woke up, without remembering that conversation ever happened.
I do wish on wonderful nights sometimes, that I did rape her, but I must be a black gentleman, and must rape black chicks instead, and not bitchs that sound like a white guy.
I then continued after these events, on narrating moments when Knight has an opening where I can narrate certain points where he has no fucking clue what happened to certain ponies after he left.
And that is right you white people, I do help out Knight, and not try to fuck with him. I would, but I know the secret behind him that he doesn’t know yet and, to be quite honest with you, I rather not fuck with him, because let’s just say, I would get my ass kicked if I ever did, and it wouldn’t be by Knight himself.
So, have a nice white guy dreams for you white people, and for the black people, have dreams about me, because we’re black and we pretty much have inception dreams, if you know what I mean.
BACK TO STALIA WITH KNIGHT…. I just don’t know why every time when I think about what had happened to ponies that I don’t know what happened to when I left them, I have a weird feeling that Morgan Freeman has something to do with it, or something is just fucked up about it.
Well, anyway, as I got back from the basement and gave myself the syringe, I went upstairs to my room.
In addition, wouldn’t you know it, Wolf was using my bed for sex. As in, Fucking Molestia on my bed. That little mother fucking prick of a bitch.
He even got cum everywhere and he pretty much fucked it up so bad, it’s un-washable. However, Molestia offered her sheets form her castle, but I had to go to the castle to get them. Just to keep it short and sweet for you guys, she molested me, and I got new sheets.
Also, if you’re wondering of how that revolution went, all the ponies that were involved in it died. I even recall that Celestiawas shocked that her subjects that she treated fairly tried to rebel. I wanted to tell her that they had the revolution because of the beer, and I actually did say that to her.
She then asked me, “What were you doing in Manehatten?”
I then said to her, “I would tell you, but I rather not make you wonder what goes on in that town.”
Well, after I told her those things, she was kindly enough to drop the plan she was going to do, which was to be stricter with the subjects,
not too strict like the Tyrant Celestia, but only because of the revolution, and she thought she was doing everything fairly and thought we were being a little selfish. Well, then, I guess the entire Country of Equestria owes me a favor for them from saving their asses from not so harsh rules.
Besides, I was the only one still alive after the revolution, because everyone died in it and had a Les Miserable’s musical while doing so.
It is very quite confusing, I understand.
Well, that was the end of my adventure for this chapter, and the next adventure, was just weird.
(Warning: the deleted scenes does contain cop related stuff, so if you don't like that stuff, then don't click it. just a warning for those who don't like it.)
*Keep in mind, That i did a little reshearch, and from what i've found, is that Oliver Wood is the guy who wrote the song and was in that band. He also actually wrote the song on a brown paper bag from what i've found. however, i don't know what the fuck he was doing with the bag, nor what the bag contained. i just made a guess. i don't even know what he wrote it with. it was sort of hard to find this, because i ept getting mostly Harry potter shit instead of 'you are my sunshine'. I also find it intersthing that i did this, and made the plot a little bit intertwine with actual history. as for the jimmie davis thing and the other band name, that is all correct from what i've found and including the years as well.
You know what is bad or a tragedy. Neon Party when he is insane. You know what is a living hell? Neon party, the insane version of him.
You know what is a fucking nightmare that haunts your fucking dreams in your fucking sleep. Two Neon parties in the same universe together.
Oh yea, I’m not kidding you. This actually happened, and I swear It was the apocalypse. Now don’t get me wrong, Neon can be a cool pony to hang out with sometimes.
However, it’s when he’s random or killing ponies at random. He is a fucking Earth Pony that is insane. I mean, if you made the insane version of him, he more than a nightmare to you, he’s like the devil.
I mean, he’s like a walking living hell, out to get you if you made an insane version of him. That actually happened to us, when Neon became the insane version of himself. He is already fucking insane, but that’s not the insane version of him.
When you make him insane, you’re doomed and pray that he ends your life quickly. You just pray to Lauren Faust or whoever your god is, even if it is black god or Muslim suicide bomber god. Even it is an Illegal Mexican god that you worship, you had better pray for a quick death.
However, Two Neon’s is a fucking horrible nightmare. Not even Freddy Kruger would want anything in it. He would be like, afraid of them, and not even wanting to go into their dreams and haunt them.
He would be scared of them for life. He would be having the nightmares, while the Neon’s are the new Freddy Kruger.
My god, that gives me the chills down my spines as I write this in leather bound journal, along with king and a quill. That also reminds me of a your mama joke.
You know what, I might have just stolen it, but then again, no one will give a fuck, since I’m in Equestria, while the humans are on Earth. So suck it Illegal Mexicans. No revolution for you, not never.
Also, suck it Obama. I can say not all the bad shit I want to you and you can send in your dam fucking drones that spy on people to do it neither. So fuck you and the black people.
You can’t do anything about it, nor can neither the Jews, because they pretty much die when you push them gently down.
Those Jews are weak I must admit. In addition, I might have taken the black thing excessively far. So let me apologize, so you won’t start complaining, like how the Muslims will when they read this.
I’m sure they would want to burn this leather bound book, along with the bible, American flag, and a copy of Batman and Robin.
In addition, perhaps a picture of Robin Williams. I can see the Muslims see him as a threat to them. I would too agree with them. I do see Robin Williams as a threat. The Muslims would also see Barbra strains as a threat as well, but I don’t see her as a threat.
I mean, I know she’s a Jew and all, but I don’t see that as a problem. However, I do see how her big noise is a threat to humankind. I mean, the noise is like a weapon I guess. Then again, all Jews have the noise type.
Well, whatever, let’s get on to my life’s story, shall we? Therefore, it was the day after I gotten back from my adventure trip in Manehatten.
I was tired as fuck and of fucking course; I was tired of Molestia fucking me. That, and the fact that she turned me into a fucking girl, so she could molest me was a little weird, but whatever.
I was in my bed, and enjoying the new sheets and shit. I mean, the sheets were very nice, and it was almost worth it for Molestia changing my gender to molest me was sort of worth it. I could have stayed in the bed the whole day.
I mean, even though I didn’t sleep in it, the bed was still nice and comfy to lay and just relax. However, of course, those dreams of Fausticorn were still there, deep in my mind.
I still wanted to know what it all meant. I mean, it had to mean something. There had to be a reason why I was having those visions or dreams.
Moreover, that song. Why was she singing that song to that child? Well, I decided to push thoughts aside, and relax and lay on my new comfortable sheets.
I was so happy and peaceful, other than the Fausticorn thing. I felt like nothing could go wrong. Of course, I fucking jinxed it and Neon broke through the door, bouncing everywhere and shit. I mean, it was as if he was high on cocaine or something.
I mean, he fucked up everything, including the bed sheets. I did get a brand new one from Molestia, but of course, I had to spend a day with her, being molested and being a mare and shit.
Fucking Neon and his bouncy ways that destroys my shit. Well, he bounced around my room, while saying, ‘Wahoo!’ like Daffy Duck from The Loony Toons again.
Luckily, Wolf wasn’t there in the room, because Wolf was doing some type of timber wolf shit outside.
Eventually Neon calmed down and we started to have a conversation. Well, Neon didn’t calm down, because I had to calm him down, by saying to him, “Neon! What the fuck are you doing!?”
Then Neon stopped, and he stopped with his back towards my face. Then he did something that still creeps me out late at night, to which he turned his head 280 degrees, with a big creepy smile on his face, with the tiniest-fucking pupils you would ever see on a living creature in your life.
After he did that, he then said in what seemed like a posse demon voice, “You’re going to die.”
My god, I have never been crept out as much as I did then. Then he continued to say, “Your mother sucks my cock in hell.” Then Neon threw up green shit like in the Exorcist movie form the 70’s. Strangely enough, just like in the movie, on how cold the room was, the room also was cold.
I don’t know how Neon did it, because the temperature was fine when I went to lay down on the bed.
Then a random pony that looked like a priest came randomly walking in, and said, “Excuse me gentlecolts. I am lost and I can’t find a single pony around this town to help me. I just happened to see your place open, and I hope you don’t mind me…… Holy mother fucking shit! It is a posse demon from Purgatory! Luckily, I’m an expert on how do get rid of these types of things, just in case one escapes from Purgatory.”
After what that priest look alike said, I then wondered, is Neon an escaped demon soul from Purgatory? Nevertheless, it couldn’t be true, since we went to Planet Random and shit.
Then Neon continued to turn his head 360 degrees, and looked at the priest. He then slowly tilted his head, and then said in a demon voice, “You are going to die tonight Mr. Purge.”
Then the priest guy said, “How did you know my name?” then Neon said, “Your mother sucked my cock twice as hard in Purgatory last night. Then I went to a planet called earth. I stalked Lauren Faust for a while, and then broke into her house.
I then noticed her husband was doing shit, to which I then randomly sat down with him and watched TV. Surprisingly he was cool with it.”
I wonder how that played out.
12 HOURS AGO….
I’m Morgan Freeman, once again narrating sot so important events. Therefore, the white guy that Lauren married was doing white guy stuff.
Well, I ain’t no white guy, I’m mother fucking black. How the fuck should, I know what white people do. Even in their dreams?
I only know black guy stuff, which is black guy stuff that you wouldn’t understand. Now, I’m starting to get sick and tired of saying this kind of bullshit, and I ain’t in the fucking mood to be pissed off.
You know, since the black chick that I tried to rape last night at my black guy hotel tried to call the cops, but I then killed, to which that gave me a mother fucking black guy migraine.
Therefore, I want to get this day on my job over with as fast as possible. So I’ll be nice only this once to ya’ll white people.
The white guy was sitting in his chair, watching sport, while Lauren was doing some shit that that had something to do with her job. Neon had just finished stalking Lauren, and quietly broke into the house, by smashing a window open.
No wonder white people can’t survive in the hood. So, Neon then went into the living room, slowly creeping up behind the shit guy in his chair. The white guy had a beer in his hands and was not paying attention behind him.
Then Neon slowly rosé up, and was in a position that looked like he was going to kill the white guy. Then, Neon said, “Hey Craig!”
Then Craig said, “Hey Neon. What’s up?”
Then Neon said which sounded normal for once, “Nothing much. Just thought I hang out with you. how’s the Misses?”
Then Craig said, in a white guy voice, “Doing fine. She said she was working on a new show, but I don’t know what it is, because the name is long and hard to understand. You want a beer?”
Then Neon said, “Sure. Why not?”
Then Craig said, “It’s in the fridge. Bottom left corner.”
As Craig was saying that, Neon went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed himself a beer. He then said to Craig while in the kitchen, “Got it!”
Then Neon walked back with the beer somehow, and got in a chair and watched some TV with his friend.
Then Craig asked, “So. How’s life going for you back in Equestria?”
To which Neon then said, “Nothing much. The same stuff every day. Being random, hanging out with friends, being more random, hang out with my dead body, go to planet random, bother Knight, and go be random at night, and go and visit Luna in her dreams as she works in other dreams.”
Then Craig had a thought in his mind, and wanted to ask Neon for a while. Craig said, “Hey, Neon? You always talk about Knight. You should bring him over sometime and we could hang out. He was once human, right?”
Then Neon said to Craig, “Right. I mean, Knight is such a nice guy, he would hurt you or your wife. He also has many tales to tell from his adventures. He’s also a cool guy to hang out with when he isn’t high.”
Then Craig said to get a thought off his white guy mind, “I know I shouldn’t be doing drugs, but, do you think Knight can lend me some of his weed?”
Then Neon said to answer Craig’s question about white guy stuff, “Sure. He always loves to have a human smoking weed friend. All he has is Wolf. Also, when Knight comes over he will also be in human form, not pony form.”
Then Craig said, “That’s fine. Along as he doesn’t make any problems with me or Lauren, that’s just fine.”
Then Neon said, “You know, I stalked your wife before I came in. I think you should introduce me to her someday.”
Then Craig said in a calm white guy voice, “I would, but I don’t think anytime soon, maybe if Knight comes over, he can do something just in case Lauren freaks out and do other crazy stuff. You know, since you told me how he has invented his own technology and pretty much knows how to handle stuff in certain situations. I just don’t think it would be a good time to tell her, even though you have been coming over here for the past 7 years. I mean, I’m pretty sure Lauren has forgotten about the My Little Pony thing and the fandom itself.”
Then Neon said, “Well, that too bad that she has forgotten it. The Bronies look cool. Besides, they are better than any of the other humans, since they love and tolerate and almost all of them wants to be like the ponies in the show. Too bad they don’t know the entire truth about the show.”
Then Craig remembered something in his white guy head and asked Neon, “It is too bad that they don’t know it. Why don’t we tell Lauren the truth when Knight comes over, so Lauren can know what’s really going on?”
Then Neon said in his white guy voice, “No can do man. The Universe forbids me to tell her. However, Knight might be able to tell her the truth, after he finds out the truth in good time. The universe really never tells me anything, but I’m just flowering it.”
Then Craig had a quick question on his mind that he wanted to ask Neon, which was, “Neon, when you told me how you and Knight defeated the predators and you tuned back time and all. Doesn’t that mean you’re god of that universe? Not the god that is ruling it right now?”
Then Neon then said, while continuing to have a smile on his face, “by technical standards, yes, but I can hand down the power to whoever I want to, so I chose the god to rule the universe, but also made the universe have a mind on its own at the same time, so both powers are balanced.”
Then Craig said, “Isn’t that a bad idea? I mean, the universe could kill whatever it wants. Aren’t you afraid that might happen?”
Then Neon said without fear or anything at all, “Well, no. you see, the universe has a mind on its own, and can do things, but only if I give it the authority to do so. For example, it wanted to make sure that Knight would stay on his course of his destiny, by doing a whole bunch of shit to him. Therefore, I gave the universe its permission to do so however it wanted to. However, the universe only makes sure the ponies stays on course with their destinies, but rarely makes destinies. As for god, she controls almost everything and she creates the destines of the ponies, but doesn’t make sure they keep on track with them. God and the universe also work together and share the godly powers and duties, so nothing goes wrong.”
Then the confused white guy named Craig then asked Neon, “But how does that balance the powers? That does not make any sense. You just told me what they’re job is.”
Then Neon said to Craig, “Exactly.”
Then Craig said, “I don’t get you dude. But, you’re still my friend.”
Then Neon asked, “So, Craig, when do you think you’re going to do the back door?”
Craig was confused and said, “I don’t know what you mean?”
Then Neon said, “You know, fuck your wife you sly dog you. come on, tell me when you’re actually going to bang your wife, or in other words, have sex with your wife, so she can get pregnant, and you’ll have a child? I mean, I wouldn’t mine being an Uncle Neon.”
Then Craig just stared off into space for a while, and said, “I don’t know. Why don’t we have any children? I have to look into it I guess. In addition, you said that there is a secret to Knight that he doesn’t know about yet. I’ve been meaning to ask you lately, what is that secret?”
Then Neon said, “Ok then. I’ll tell you, but I got to whisper it in your ear, just I case Knight might be listing on in this, since he knows how to open portals when he has off the grid powers on him.”
Then Craig leaned in forward, and Neon whispered something into Craig’s ear. Then, Craig had a very surprised look on his face, for what the big secret was that you white people do not know yet. I mean, I know, since I’m Morgan fucking Freeman and I’m black god.
Just trust me; the secret is quite surprising and unexpected. After Neon told Craig the secret, Craig relaxed again, to take in what he just heard.
Then Craig said, “That is quite surprising. I did not expect that at all. I mean, how that is even possible?”
Then Neon whispered in his ear once more, and Craig continued to have a surprise look on his face.
Then Craig said, “That makes since. But the question is, why?”
Then Neon said, “No one knows, it’s just is that way. Only she knows why it happened. My guess is whatever we believe in.”
Then Craig said to Neon, “Wait a second. Wouldn’t that mean, he’s… well you know?”
Then Neon understood it and said, “By technical reasons, yes and no. it all depends on where the location is, and it depends on what form he is in. however, for the most part, the answer is yes.”
Then Craig had a surprise look on his face, and continues to say, “Well then. That’s a life changer for me. Something very much unexpected for me. That, and Lauren as well, in case if she ever finds out that is. You know what we should do. We should video tape her reaction when she finds out. It will be funny man.”
Then Neon said, “Sure. It would make good times for all of us. However, I believe the universe told me it will tell Knight in perhaps in 10 years from now.”
Then Craig asked, “Why so long?” Then Neon said, “Because the timing will be perfect. Then after the universe tells him, then they will leave Knight alone and let him do his job. The universe works in mysterious ways, I might add.”
Then Craig said, “Well then. Your universe also works in weird ways as well. So, you want to play some Call of Duty?”
Then Neon said, “Oh fuck yea! So, which one should we do? Call of Duty 16 or Call of Duty 17?”
Then Craig said, “Well, it is the year 2020, and Call of Duty 17 just came out. Maybe Call of Duty 16, since this will be forgotten, likes Black Ops 2 and Ghost.”
Then Neon put the game disk in, grabbed the PS5 Controllers, and started to play Black ops 4.
Then Neon said with eagerness, “Whoooooo!! Zombies mother fucker! Let’s go kill some mother fucking zombies on mars!” Then Craig said, “Why not the sun? We should kill some noobs on the sun map?”
Then Neon said, “Yea, but the sun map is a little hard. What about the death star map?”
Then Craig said, “That’s a good idea. I heard they had an update where you can actually kill zombie Vader.”
Then Neon said, “That’s just a myth. Like the same myth that there’s a ghost in the background of the movie three men and a baby.”
Then Craig said, “No way man. That rumor is fucking true as shit man. I mean, I did see that ghost in the background of that cabin. It’s there alright and it’s haunted as fuck.”
Then Neon asked, “Have you ever been to the cabin?”
Then Craig said, “Well, no, but I’ve seen pictures of it online and it’s legit. Besides, I will never forget that night when Lauren was sleeping, and I heard noise. I looked around, and I saw a ghost a green neon pony… Wait a second. Was that you?”
Then Neon said, “Strangely enough, that wasn’t me. Besides, that that happened eight years ago, and we met seven years ago.”
Then Craig said, “Well then. That’s strange indeed. Well let’s kill Zombies on the death star and fight zombie Vader.”
Then they played the game throughout the night. Then after a while, Craig got tired of playing, and wanted to take break and watch some good old-fashioned white person TV.
So Neon also agreed to take a break, and went to stalk Lauren some more.
Neon had over heard on the phone, which was Lauren talking on, to get meeting arrangements, so she could pitch her idea to Hasbro for her new show.
Neon had overheard the title, and the title was ‘Pineapple Train Express to the Universe Star system kids.’
What a ridiculous white guy name for a TV children show. Then again, it is the year 2020 by the, and not much shit has changed except for phones, which all it did was get more complicated as the new versions went on.
Neon even heard that Lauren was going to go to the meeting tomorrow morning, after she put some finishing touches on her new show.
Then Neon continued to stalk Lauren for about an hour or so. Eventually Lauren decided to go to bed.
When Lauren was fast asleep and couldn’t be disturb in her sleep, Neon watched her in her sleep, as in standing over her, like those weird white people in the Paranormal Activity movies, where the scary white bitch just stood over the guy’s head.
That is the reason why I don’t have sex that much with White chicks, because I’m just afraid that might happen to me.
Then Neon continued to star at Lauren for about an hour or so, or at least until it was one in the fucking morning, and Neon went back down stairs to go hang out with Craig.
Craig decided to play one more game with Neon. Then hit the hay, which was, ‘Half Life 3.’ In addition, yes, Valve actually gave a shit about the white people’s complaints of not making the game, and it was made.
I even recall on that Princess Molestia tumbler page, where Gamer Luna became Lusty Luna for a week. It was so hot; I clopped to that shit nightly.
What? Can’t a black guy be a clopper? You white racist. Moreover, yes, there is Co-op in Half Life 3. They also decided to play ‘Team Fortress 3’ and ‘Portal 3’ while they were at it.
In addition, they played the hell out of those games. Then Neon turned everything off and said good night to his friend Craig, and went back to Equestria for about fifteen minutes.
Then, Neon came back to the house, stalked Lauren for about three hours, and went to do random shit back in Equestria again.
Which was bothering Knight. I hope that I’m done for the chapter, because that black bitch really gave me a migraine.
BACK IN STALIA…
I’m starting to feel like there’s more to the story then that I know of, and Morgan Freeman has something to do with it.
Well then, I guess is should continue to say what Neon was saying. Yes, he wasn’t done yet folks. He said, “Then I went to the bar and got drunk. Then, I went to purgatory, and I sucked on your mother’s cock, since I was high on cocaine and shit. Then the priest guy said, “My mother doesn’t have a dick.”
Then Neon said, ‘oh yes she does. Because is a transvestite. Don’t you know of your own birth Mr. Purge? Don’t you know that you were born from a Hooker?”
Then the priest guy said, “Well, that would explain why I have AIDS. But you’re still will go back to purgatory to beat!”
Then Neon did something even creepier. He slowly killed him, just like how pinkimena killed Rainbow Dash in ‘Cupcakes.’
I could go into detail about it, but if you already read the Cupcakes, then you should know what happens. Well, there was a shit load of a mess on my floor, and surprisingly, Neon cleaned it up.
Well then, at least he is polite about my floor. At least that’s something. Then Neon returned to me and continued to look even creepier then before. Then he said, ‘I’m just fucking with you Knight.”
Then I asked, “So, this was all a set up and that was not a real dead body?”
Then Neon said, “Nope. It was all real. I’m just joking about how you’re going to die. Even the mother sucks cocks in hell part, because that is impossible.”
Then I ask, “What the fuck are you even talking about?” Then Neon said, “You’ll see soon enough Knight. Soon enough. So, what crazy adventure of the off the grid are we or you going to have today!?”
Then Neon just sat there with a cute smile on his face. I then said to him, “First off, you’ll never go off the grid, because if TK finds out that you know, shit will go down.”
Then Neon said, “what kind of shit? Dog shit, or Muslim –Jew-Hindu shit. Or will it rain shit?”
Then Neon gasped and then said, “I hope it does rain shit. If it does, I can then sing, ‘I’m singing in the shit.”
Then he started to sing his own version of the song, ‘I’m singing in the Rain’, along with, either shit or rain coming down in my room.
I don’t know which, but it looks like a hybrid of the two. In addition, you might be wondering how fucked up my room was?
Well, it didn’t look like a war zone hit it, nor did it look like a tornado hit it, but it looked like something that a new kind of level of destruction should be called.
I call it, ‘it looked like a Neon happened here.’ it was that bad, which included, green puke, blood and guts everywhere, the room was a wreck, and shit-rain came down from out of nowhere or possibly from Planet Random.
Do da do dad a do da do da do da do da do dad a do do dad a do do dad a do I’m singing in the shit! Just singing in the shit! What a shitty feeling I have AIDS again Because I laughed so hard at Laruen Faust in her sleep So, Asian like up above The Crack is in my heart And I’m ready for raping Let the stormy clouds shit Every pony from their homes Come on with the shit I’ve a blood my hooves when I kill certain ponies I walk in Knight’s house With a psychopathic face Just singing Singing in the shit I’m fucking in the shit Yes !yes yes yes !! I have AIDS again I’m singing and dancing in the shit
Then Neon did a whole dancing or tap-hoofing, while the hybrid rain fell. Even a royal guard saw this, and he was about to take him away, since he was doing some kind of crazy shit and all, but Neon killed him just like the priest guy.
I don’t even know where the royal guard came from, but I’m guessing Twilight needed me, so she sent the guard to fetch me to bring me to her.
Good thing that Neon killed him, because I found out that Twilight found out that one night we spent together in Manehatten, and she thought it was a date and all.
Well, she thought we had a relationship going on, and I’m guessing she was curious. Either she was curious on how kissing a stallion would feel, us spending time together, or just having good ol’ sex.
I say this, because she fixed her bed in a ‘certain’ way, and I’m not sure if that was just for her, or for us to have sex in. I really don’t know what Twilight had planned for me, and to be honest, I don’t want to find out.
In addition, I should mention, while Neon was singing this, the music from the actual song was playing in the background as well.
Then, out of nowhere, that guy who played in the movie, ‘Singing in the Rain’, came out of a portal and danced along with Neon for a bit.
They both had smiles on their faces, and when that guy wasn’t looking, Neon stabbed him a few time by taking a knife from out of nowhere and just stab him in the stomach.
Yes, he just did that and while he was stabbing, the music in the background paused for a second.
Then the music came back when Neon was done killing the guy and removing his organs very quickly. Back to the lyrics.
I’m dancing, and singing In the shit
Then the music in the background stopped and Neon continued to have a creepy smile on his face.
I then said to Neon, “Well, that’s not what I meant, but impressive, since the fact it rained shit in my house. You are going to clean this up, right?”
Then Neon said, “Oh you don’t have to worry about it. I mean, since you’re, well… I can’t say it, since the universe will tell it to you in the future.”
Then I said, “Does it have to do something with that secret behind me?”
Then Neon said, “Sure do you son of a bitch.”
I don’t know why Neon said that to me. I mean, he said that with a happy face. I’m just so confused right now what Neon was trying to say to me in a way.
Therefore, I then said to Neon, “Well, whatever. I don’t care right now. What I meant when I said that shit would go down, is that TK might end doing shit that is bad for this universe.”
Then Neon said, “Oh you are very true to that, but he won’t once you know who you truly are.”
Then I asked, with a bit of a yelling tone to it, “What the fuck are you even talking about!?”
Then Neon said, “You’ll see in the future Knight. I also have a way to get around TK. I can just turn invisible.”
I then said to Neon, to debunk his idea of that, “TK can sense when something invisible Neon. For one thing, he is a devil, so he has supernatural powers, to where he can detect invisibility. Second, he still wears the knight suit, which the helmet on him can detect if someone is invisible or not. I mean, he didn’t have it in the suit at first, but over the years he upgraded it.”
Then Neon said, “Knight, aren’t you forgetting something? My powers are from Planet Random, and are pretty much can bypass his helmet scanner, and his power won’t detect me.”
I then said to Neon, “True, but he might ask me if someone is with me or not. I mean, I know the chances are of that ever happening is slim, but he can tell when I’m hiding something. He still has the bullshit detector Neon.”
Then Neon said, “don’t worry about that Knight. I can just mess up that lie dector, and he won’t even notice.”
Then I said, “Are you sure Neon. Are you sure that will work? He can detect when someone is fucking with his technology and he can detect that kind of shit with his powers.”
Then Neon said, “Just trust me Knight. Besides, if you give yourself your powers from Planet Random, we can bypass him easily.”
I then said, “Fair enough. However, I’m only doing this because, well, since you know it and all, might as well not keep it from you. Therefore, we can leave in one hour. Since I want to get some of my morning weed smoking in and you have to clean this up and shit.”
Then Neon latterly cleaned up the place, and fixed every broken thing in my house within a microsecond. Neon really deserves the title of god. Then I went to my weed smoking and it was good and shit. However, you know how you’re supposed to be tripping out when you smoke weed?
Well, I got the complete opposite, but it was only this one time this ever happening, and why it happed is beyond me.
However, I believe Neon fucked with my weed, so I think he is behind and shit. Well, after a few minutes of smoking my morning weed, I got my visions; however, it was those dreams again.
However, I was like in a scene or something from the past that was unfamiliar to me. I was in like a castle or something.
I looked out the window, and it was daylight. There were even clouds on the ground. I was in heaven. I was in a hallway somewhat like, and there seemed to be five rooms. One seemed to be a bathroom at one side. At the very end of the hallway, it seemed to be a sort of living room, or something like that.
One room at double doors. Where two rooms, had just a single door. I took a looking one of them, and it had two beds. One bed had a night sky covers on, while the other had like a sun like colors on the bed covers.
The room was filled with toys, seem to be for kids. I saw a guard walk by me; however, he just did not see me.
Therefore, I was like a ghost or something. Well, you remember that kid, who I could not make out, well, I saw him again. Not even in a good lighting I could not figure who he was.
Apparently, someone or something does not want me to know who he is. I saw him, running to a bedroom. The same bedroom, where I saw through the portal that one night in Manehatten.
He ran inside and shit the door. I also believe I heard it was locked from the inside. Then, Fausticorn appeared.
She rather ran to the door. She even went right through me.
She then knocked on the door with her hoof, and she said, in a motherly tone, “Please Inca! You have to understand! You have to understand that I did it for a reason! Please Inca! Let me in, so I can explain it to you! Inca!”
She said it, not in an angry tone, but in rather a begging tone.
Yea, I knew something was up. I did not know what, but something was up.
However, I rather ignored what Fausticorn was saying, because I noticed something. Something very strange. Somehow, I was like in an alternate universe.
However, an alternate universe to what exactly. How did I know this? Well, I heard a certain noise and a wavy hair and something else. It told me that I was in an alternate universe.
The same thing that I noticed when I was on that island and those to her dreams that I had of Fausticorn.
It was weird how this happened. Now, why it happened to the weed, I still do not know why, but it just did.
Perhaps maybe the universe had something to do with it. well, I was about to go back to paying attention to what Fausticorn was saying, but I was pulled back into my own universe, and was put back onto my couch.
I had wide eyes opened, and Neon was just standing there, smiling at me. I then said to Neon, “Dude. You are just fucking scaring me right now.”
Then Neon said, “I know. Why do you think I’m doing it?”
I then sat there on my couch, dazed and confused as fuck. I then said to Neon, “I don’t get it?”
Then Neon said, “Exactly!”
I was still fucking confused as fuck, but then again, I was trying to make logic with a god like being here. I was trying to make logic with Neon.
The thing is that you do not make logic with Neon, but Neon makes the logic. It is weird and confusing, but trust me, it makes a whole lot of sense.
I then got off the couch, still trying to make sense of that alternate universe that I was in, and Neon and I headed out the door.
We were walking and noticed that no pony was around to be found. Even Neon was confused at first.
He said, “This seems strange. I have not terrorized anyone, nor did I kill anyone, or a random event happened that I created, and there is no pony to be found out here. This is very odd.”
Then, Neon had wide surprised eyes, and finally realizes that he is a fucking idiot, and forgot something.
He said, “Oh my sweet baby black son of a bitch gang banger mother fucking Jesus! Quick Knight! To my room at the party store!”
Then Neon ran, and I have a feeling if you were seeing this as a show, you would see a batman symbol or perhaps a Neon symbol that would spin around for a few seconds and go back into the shot and we would move to the next scene. You know the classic batman transition.
Yea, that would happen, especially, since Neon is random and shit. Well, since this is not a show or according to Neon, it is, he just left me there.
I then said, “Thank Celestia he’s gone.”
I then turned around to go back to my place, so I can do other weed related shit, but then, right in front of me, a zipper appeared.
Then, the zipper unzipped, and it was a portal to Neon’s bedroom. Neon was staring right t me, with his usual creepy smile as always, and pulled me through the portal.
I still wonder how the fuck did that zipper was put there and how Neon did it. I don’t fucking know.
The thing is, since I’ve been friends with Neon for years, the thing is that you have to learn is, you never ever bring logic when it comes to Neon.
Logic is beyond Neon and you can never say logical thing to Neon, because Neon is logic. Does not make any sense, but it makes sense to Neon.
Well, I was pulled through, and landed on Neon’s bedroom floor. I still stick to my opinion on Neon’s room. That it is fucking awesome and more awesome then Pinkie Pie’s room.
Well, I looked around, so I could figure out where the fuck I was at, and I saw Neon looking through papers. My question is, that is Neon a business pony.
Well, I asked him that, and his response was, “I sometimes have to fill out paper work for the party shop. That and sometimes I sell my homemade cupcakes, which are organ-filled cupcakes on the black pony market. Sometimes I can’t be random all the time, ok?”
I was really surprised that Neon was self-aware of his randomness. I asked him this again on what the fuck is wrong with him, since he’s random and shit, and he said he doesn’t’ know what I was talking about, cut off a rabbits head, stuck up an old ladies asshole, and flew to the moon and had a party with moon crabs.
I was unaware that he had seen Apollo 18. Then again, it was a shitty movie, so, why the fuck would, I even care if he saw it or not.
In addition, I somehow checked on how Neon does this paper thing, which according to Neon that it doesn’t exist.
All I have to say is, he is half-right and half wrong. In addition, I still do not get it. Anyway, I have seen what he has done before, and he has these little reading classes and just sits there with an ok expression on his face, calm, which is like seeing a miracle happen.
Well, anyway, when I was seeing this, ‘scene’, he was sitting there at his desk, filling out paper work and saying that a check had to be filled out as a business expense.
That and the owner’s wife calling him from downstairs to make sure he dropped off something, and when that happened, Neon just looked like he just wanted to kill her or was tired.
I could tell, because Neon had those killing look in his eyes. Then, he said he was done and then randomly teleported outside, grabbed a women’s baby, ate him, and shit him out.
Then that shit turned to solid gold bricks, and which the woman took the gold and forgot about the baby.
Then Neon when to Earth, mugged a black guy that was mugging a white chick at the same time, while that chick was mugging a baby, while that baby was playing blackjack, while the picture was an Apple.
Moreover, well, eventually Neon found what he was looking for, which was his calendar.
I saw his calendar and it is filled with so many dates, it is unbelievable.
In addition, why the fuck am I thinking about that one song that had that one lyric, go, ‘you’re unbelievable.’
God that was annoying song. I think it was in the 90’s. Oh well, I’m not on Earth, so I shouldn’t even give a fucking dam about it. So, yea. I also saw other dates on Neon’s calendar, as in, be random, mess around with Knight, go to Craig McCracken’s house and hang out, stalk Lauren Faust, kill some pony, go to planet Random to visit Family, have a moon party wit moon crabs, and a whole bunch of other shit.
I do have to admit, I am surprised that he stalks Lauren Faust and he has a date set up for that.
That just seems fucking creepy in my opinion. That and he goes to Planet Random to visit family. Well, what family? I mean, he pretty much killed his crack head sister if you recall, one of his brother is an Emo who said he would kill his family and shit, so yea.
Perhaps that little fucker already did kill his family at that point in time. I’m also surprised that he messes with me and he has a date for that.
I even tried to mess up with his dates on his calendar once, but let me just tell you, you should never ever try to do it.
What happened to me was that I had a burglar mask on and all in black and shit, and I broke in, trying to ‘fix’ Neon’s calendar, but for some reason, he was waiting for me.
I was about to write shit down, but he was right behind me in the shadows. He slowly came up to me, just as the liquid terminator did in the terminator 2 and whispered in my ear very creepily, ‘You want to have a party Knight? Cause I will fucking kill you if you ever change my calendar again you little shit.”
He also said this with a smile on his face. He reminds me of the joker. In addition, that is bad.
Well, he said that and I was officially scared of him for life. He is that scary and my god, never ever fuck with Neon, he will kick your ass. He is so creepy; he lives in your nightmares.
Oh well, that was a nice scary story to tell and hopefully I did not scare you to death. Well, I saw the calendar, as Neon was looking at the calendar, and I noticed the Crack McCracken date thing, and I asked him about it. I said, “Neon? May I ask why the fuck do you have, ‘visit Craig McCracken’ on your calendar?”
Then Neon said, “Well, we’re friends.” I then said, “What do you mean by friends?”
Then Neon said, “Well, we’ve been friends for 7 years. Just about how long you have been living in this universe. It’s a long story on how we met. He has not come to this universe. I just go and visit him in his house.”
I then had a shocked look on my face and asked, “Does Lauren Faust know about your existence!?”
Then Neon said, “Nope. Only Craig knows. However, we were planning on telling her once the timing is right.”
Then I said, “What do you mean?”
Then Neon replied with, “Well, when you just happen to bring some stuff that can calm her down when we tell her.”
I then had a questioning look on my face and I asked Neon, “Wait. You told Craig about me?”
Then Neon said, “yup. Everything about you. How you were once a human and the portals. Everything. In fact, Craig hasn’t stop asking about you and wants to see if you could come over sometime.”
Then I was about to yell at Neon for just blowing my cover, but I then stopped in thought for a moment. I then thought about it, and I just had a puzzled look on my face.
I then said to Neon, “Sure. I wouldn’t mind meeting him sometime.”
Then Neon said, “That’s the sprit! Now let’s see what it is today.”
I only agreed to meet him because, well, it is quite fucking obvious. I mean, Craig McCracken, the one who worked on Fosters home.
That and he is the husband of Lauren Faust, so I guess that is interesting. Well, it is, since she is pretty much the queen of the Bronies and is the creator of the show. She even has red hair.
The thing is about that; she is not ginger, so that makes it even more special for the audience. Why the fuck do I feel like looking at the fourth wall?
Now that I mention it to myself while writing this down, I’m starting to remember that thing how Neon is now god of this universe.
I mean, just to let you know, that there is a god in this universe, and it is quite fucking obvious that it is Lauren Faust’s OC pony, Fausticorn.
However, I am starting to wonder, does that mean…. No. that that cannot be true. Then again, it all depends on what your point of view of things is. I mean, you would first of to go to the first signs of life in the universe and see how it was done.
It’s a little weird and I’m starting to feel like the Neon is the father of Fausticorn.
However, surprisingly, I thought about this before, and by technical standards, he is sort of the grandfather or great grandfather actually.
It is hard to explain, but I will explain it once we get there. Therefore, yea, Neon is god of this universe by technical standards. In other words, that would explain why he went to purgatory and had his dick sucked.
I also find it interesting that Neon is god, and he does not give two shits about it. It just surprises me that he does not give a flaming fuck about it, while the rest of us would. Either we would be happy, surprised, or just plain shocked about it.
Whatever, Neon is Neon and I should not complain about it. I rather of an OC pony be god then a psychopathic killer.
Don’t you agree? In addition, just to clear some thoughts in your head, yes, Celestia and Luna are the children of god in this universe.
It just rather surprises me how the Bronies got it right with the memes and all. Funny, isn’t it?
However, there is something that I have to say, before you guys get confused in the future as we go on with my story about my life and my adventure through the universes.
What I need to mention is, well, there is more to the god thing and god’s children. Let us just say, it’s complicated to explain right now.
Just saying before anyone jus burns the book in a fire that I worked so hard, on when it gets to earth, because they are confused about this.
The human who finds this might just think this story is just to troll someone. Well, it took Neon a while, but he actually found what he was looking for on his calendar.
Apparently, the reason why there was no one in town because everyone in Stalia was at the park.
Neon said, “Holy sweet mother fucking cookie elephant black baby Jesus! We’re going to be late! We’ll be Late! For a very important Date.”
Then Neon killed a rabbit that was holding a pocket watch. Where Neon got that from I have no idea. In fact, where does his stuff comes from anyway? Note to self, check where Neon’s warehouse full of stuff is hidden.
I then told Neon, “Why did you just reference Alice in Wonderland and what are we late for?”
Then Neon said, “Well, the bunny was here with the pocket watch, and we are late, so I had too. Also, we’re late for the annual Stalia Day!”
I then asked Neon, “Stalia day?”
Then Neon said, “Well, it’s more of a meeting for it, but yeah, Stalia Day. It’s when everyone has fun, have a picnic, do crack, fuck each other, kill some pony, or just play games to celebrate Stalia pride.”
I then said, “What did you say about killing some pony.”
Then Neon said, “Oh nothing. Nothing at all. There is no need to worry my pony friend.”
Then Neon turned around and whispered to himself, “Soon. Soon, I shall kill you Mop Star. You always beat me in the horseshow toss every year. Well, not this time. This time, it seems that you will die before you even step a single hoof at the park. Then, I’ll shall be champion.”
Then Neon did an evil laugh and had a mustache on him. Neon even had some lighting going on in his room.
I’m telling you man, that Satlia has more of a budget for shit then Ponyville. I mean, did you ever see this kind of stuff in Ponyville before? Nope. I am starting to feel a little pride for Satlia as well here, just to let you know.
Well, Neon saw me just staring at him, with a confused look on my face, wondering why he said what he said. I then asked Neon “Who is Mop Star?”
Then Neon said, “An old pony friend that will have a little surprise in his coffee tomorrow morning.”
Then Neon did another evil laugh and then said, “Let’s go to the meeting then, shall we?”
Neon and I then walked out of his room and went down stairs. I was the last one to go down the steps, and as I was going down, I believed I heard a cry for help.
I went towards the noise, found a door under the staircase, and opened it. What I saw as a pony that was tied down to a chair and had duck tape on his mouth.
Then I asked Neon, “Uhhhhh…. Neon, why the fuck do you have a pony under the stairs?”
Then Neon said, “Oh, don’t mind him. I just have him there for a little experiment.”
I then said to Neon, “Neon, if it is to harvest his organs for cupcakes, you realize you got Ponyville, right?”
Then Neon said, “Oh no. it’s nothing like that, although, I do have a list of names for Ponyville. I have him here for an experiment, to see how long it would take a human in a pony’s body that reads a lot of bad fan fiction, will break down and commit suicide.”
I then stared at Neon with a shocked face and said “Neon! You kidnapped a human!?”
Then Neon said, “Well, if you want to put it that way, yes! I kidnapped him in his sleep. His name on Earth was called [Name redacted] Well, at least that is what it said on his computer. Me and a Pinkie Pie in another universe who is also working with Rainbow Dash, are working together to see if our theories are correct. I bring him to that Pinkie’s universe, and so him and another human, named [name redacted], along with Twilight of that universe, can read bad fan fics, and see who will brake down first and commit suicide. However, Pinkie wants me to get more humans, so I’m just going to kidnap his friends. I believe their names are [name redacted], [name redacted], and [name redacted]. I’m planning to kidnap them in their sleep one night to bring them here, so I may begin the process of bad fan fics, with that other pony universe. Oh well, let’s go now.”
I just stood there, shocked at what I heard from Neon. I then decided to not to question it, since, Neon is Neon. There, I said it.
Well, Neon and I then walked outside, and I then asked him, “Wait a second. Why wasn’t I notified that there was a meeting for Stalia day?”
Then Neon said, “well, let me try to explain it the best way for you. You don’t exactly act like a pony. I mean, you look like one, and you sort of act like one, but not naturally though. You just need to get that natural instinct of being a pony Knight.”
I then said to Neon, “I don’t act natural as a pony? What do you mean?”
Then Neon said, “Well, for one thing, you curse way too much then a pony should curse. I mean, we do curse a lot, but we have our limits.”
Neon was right on that. I recall that during my adventures through the portals, I never cursed as much as I did now.
I then said to Neon, “So, other ponies think I’m weird that way?”
Then Neon said, “Well, not exactly. They do think it is weird, but they believe that you have an excuse for it. It’s Wolf Knight. Wolf is the excuse.”
I then asked Neon, “What the fuck does Wolf have to do with my large amounts of cursing?”
Then Neon said, “Well, Timber wolves are not the most polite creatures Knight. However, that doesn’t mean that they can’t change into a polite creature, like those snooty rich people in Cantorlot. However, Wolf curses a lot, and ever since you’ve casted a spell on him to talk, you have gotten influenced by him to curse more without noticing?”
Neon was right. It’s like if my brain thought it was normal. Perhaps maybe it was because my brain was trying to adjust to this universe’s cultural or my brain worked in mysterious ways.
I’m not exactly sure why this happened, but all I can say is, Wolf was the cause, but that didn’t mean I was going to de-friend Wolf.
Although, I do have proof why Wolf is the cause. For one thing, at certain moments, I don’t really curse at all, to very little cursing. That also happens when Wolf is not around at all, but sometimes I can still curse a lot without Wolf, but it’s because I’m so used to cursing a lot, I didn’t see the difference.
It just seems when it gets to those serious moments, as in like those dreams that I have had in the past and they were like nightmares to me, I didn’t really cursed a whole lot.
Maybe those dreams had something to do with it perhaps.
Anyways, I then asked Neon “Is there anything else that I should know what I’ve been doing wrong?”
Then Neon said, “Why of course there is old sport. Of course there is, but there are multiple things to know, so I’ll tell you when you show out your flaws.”
I then said to Neon, “Did you just make a reference to The Great Gatsby?”
Then Neon said, “Why, whatever do you mean old sport? I mean, why would I ever go to a universe of Earth, kill Leonardo DeCaprio, and steal his memories of his acting career?”
I then just stared at Neon for a few seconds, and Neon said, “Let’s go to the meeting shall we?”
then Neon led the way to the park. At the time, I was starting to feel like Neon would be my only trusted friend. Although, there was still a question left unanswered.
If Neon did not like humans so much, why didn’t he just kill me when he knew I was a human in the first place? Then again, he did visited Craig McCracken, but there are two theories to that.
One, well, he his the husband of the creator of MY Little Pony, so that’s obviously a reason why he didn’t kill him. However, that would not explain why he did not kill me.
The second theory I had was that not all humans are bad, which is true. However, that would mean that Neon saw something in me that was not trust to human nature, and more friendly.
Kind of like how Celestia founded me and how she saw something special in me.
However, that was because of my strong magic, or maybe, perhaps that is what Neon saw in me as well. My strong magic capabilities. Although, you do have to question, what does it mean?
Why do I have such strong magic then Celestia and Luna combined? There were just too many questions left unanswered at the time. I mean, I have a stronger magic, then God’s children.
That’s like being more powerful then Jesus. That, and if you are ever stronger than him, then god would send down the 10 plagues and there would be pissed off Christens at your doorstep, with shotguns and holding bibles.
Then telling you that you are wrong and they just end up shoving it down your throat, and you just end having a nice massacre with christens and then you have to clean up the blood.
On top of that, you have to put the body parts in acid, and you do not have big enough bathtubs to do it, so you do it in the ocean. Then the acid kills the animals and then you have PETA on your ass and you kill them and shit goes down.
I’m sorry, I was just talking about a life experience I had once when I accidentally showed off my powers in public. It is a long story and let’s just say, it involved turning back time and erasing memories and there was a lot of trouble to go through just to fix it.
Well, it is in the past and I have a lot of blood on my hooves. Anyways, Neon and I walked to the park, and there was a big gathering around a stage and all.
I could see my friends were there at the front, and Neon and I were stuck in the back. I did somehow noticed what my other friends were saying at the time, because, you know, my ability o go into the past by opening portals and finding out what happened and shit.
Well, about around the time when Neon and I got there, my friends were talking.
Forest said, “Does any pony know if they have seen Neon and Knight around anywhere?”
Then Arrell said, “No, why”
Then Forest said, “Well, aren’t they supposed to be here and all. I mean, they are citizens of Stalia, so they should be here to set up the games and stuff.”
Then Jack said, “I wouldn’t worry about them. I’m sure they both of a reason of to why they are late. I mean, I have seen Neon’s stack of work papers, and it seems that he is busy with paperwork. Knight also seems busy, because I’ve noticed he hasn’t slept in days.”
Then Arrell asked, “How can you tell?”
Then Jack said, “I’ve seen the lights still on in his place at night. I also hear music as well sometimes, along with him singing a little. I think he is working on something and has been working on it non-stop. Perhaps something for the Princesses.”
Then Mac added a comment and said, “Well, I don’t care why they are late. As long as they are not helping Applejack, it’s fine.”
Then Forest asked, “When do you not hate your cousin Applejack. I mean, I know you two had a feud in the past, but how long are you going to have this grudge over her?”
Then Mac said “It will last until she apologizes for what she did to me.”
Then Arrell asked, “What did she do to you?”
Then Mac said, “My friend, you don’t want to know what she did.”
I’m sure that Mac was being a bit ridiculous there, because I’m sure it wasn’t anything bad that Applejack did. For the love of Celestia, she is the element of Honesty!
Well, Neon and me we’re all the way in the back, so we couldn’t see much, but there was the microphone of course, so at least we could hear good.
We were all waiting and eventually, the mayor of Stalia walked up to the podium and then said, “Welcome Stalia citizens! We are all here today so we can prepare for the events for tomorrow at the annual Stalia Day!”
Then the crowd cheered and then the mayor continued to talk. She then said, “We need to make sure we get everything done perfectly before tomorrow. We have received offer for help by Princess Twilight Sparkle, but I turned it down.”
I was a little shocked by that, because, it is one of the princesses and they offered help, and they turned it down. But I remembered that she and her friends did help them finish cleaning up winter, so I guess they didn’t want any more help so they are not embarrassed anymore I guess. In addition, the crowd cheered once more for that.
What was wrong with these ponies? Then one of the audience members said, “Yeah. I mean, we don’t need her help. Besides, we already have an element of something that lives in this town. He is even a personal student of Princess Celestia!”
Then they all cheered once ore looked at me. My only question is how did they know where to look? Perhaps Neon had something to do with it.
Well, every pony was looking at me, expecting me to say something, which I did. I said, “What do you have against Twilight? I mean, she is not bad and all. Sure, she can be annoying at times, but she’s not that bad. In fact, I would have gladly taken her help. Besides, I think you’re all just jealous that Ponyville has more attention then you and is more popular, since Twilight lives in that town.”
Then a random pony said, “No. that’s not true. We’re just proud that you’re here, a personal student that lives in a normal town and all.”
I then said, “Then how come when you enter Stalia, the ‘Welcome to Stalia’ sign has, “This is where the other elements live at. We’re better then Ponyville?”
Then another pony said, “Yeah, but we’re just telling any pony that comes into this town that there is important ponies here and we’re just proud of it.”
I then said, “Then how come I see a bunch of boxes that has merchandise that’s right behind the mayor and has our faces on coffee mugs and other useless shit?”
Then the mayor had a nervous face, and slowly pushed the box of shit away from him with his back leg and said, “Nooooooooooo. Why would we ever do such a thing?”
I then just stared everybody with a poker face, sort of. It is the look that you give when you know it’s stupid and shit. Whatever, it was just a look.
Well, then I said, “I can see that box right behind you. I mean, I know that you guys have a grudge against Ponyville and all and…”
Then a pony cut me off and he said, “Actually, we have a huge grudge against them. I mean, before you came, we were about to go war with them, by giving them a Hugh surprise attack at dawn, like before Applejack woke up. You know, before she works on her apple shit. But when you came into town, and we found out that you are a personal student of Celestia, we thought we might have a chance at beating them.”
I then had a little shocked face on me, and asked Neon, “Is this true?”
Then Neon said, “Yup. I even had Planet Random on our side to attack. However, you are the only reason why we haven’t killed any pony from Ponyville yet, because we can sort of have competition against them, since you’re the personal student and all.”
I then asked Neon, “What competition?”
Then Neon said, “Well, it isn’t that much of a competition, but if you are a leader of a task force, which is me, you, and our other friends. We are like the Mane six of Stalia. The idea is this. If we can get enough ponies to recognize this town, more than Ponyville, then other ponies can stop by passing this town. Besides, the idea is already working.”
I then asked Neon, “How do you know?”
Then Neon said, “Well, we have more ponies living here and more money coming in. I mean, those papers you saw on my desk were never there before you came. Since you are here and the word about you has spread a little bit, you are getting a little well known in Equestria now. Not so much well known, but a little bit. In addition, if this keeps up, we can be better than Ponyville. We just have to save more lives.”
I then had a shocked confused face, and I then asked, “I’m famous, but how? Barley anyone knows me when I go to big cities like Manehatten or Las Pegasus. Moreover,… no, wait a second. Are you guys setting up situations, to where me, you and the other guys have to face, achieve whatever it is that we have to achieve from it, and get famous from it?”
Then Neon said, “Actually no. we would never do that and we let luck play the role. As in, if luck is on our side, then we let it be that way. However, if it is not, then we’re shit out of luck.”
That actually gave me a little relief. I mean, if they were responsible for everything that has happened to me while I was here, I was going to be pissed off.
I was going to kill every single pony here, except for my friends. Even though they are sort of also would’ve been responsible for this, I spent so much time with them, that I’m kind of bonded with them through friendship.
Friendship either is a bitch, magic, or is literally magic here. As in, the universe has casted a spell, and that we are friends because of a certain magic spell. I rather say that friendship is a bitch, but fuck it, I’m going to go with magic here.
Not the literally magic one, but as in, the subtitle from the show, where friendship is magic.
That also means Lauren Faust actually got something right. Then again, this is the show and that means laws and physics can sometimes change, so it could mean that since this universe was going off from the show, that’s the reason, why my friendship here was good.
That friendship will get you somewhere in life in this universe and its special and shit. It sort of made sense in a way.
It is so amazing how a kid’s show can bring so much meaning into an adult’s life. Yet, we were not taught this when we were kids.
Possibly because we were all doing crack and weed at the time. That are we were just taught bad morals and values from our parents, since they were from a different time period.
So, yea, that actually makes sense. Well, I then said to Neon, “So, if I’m famous, what am I famous for?”
Then Neon said, “Well, you are famous from your school that you went to and all.”
That was also a bit true. The thing is, I was actually popular at Celestia’s school. I mean every pony in that school knew me.
Mostly because I would throw kick ass parties and can do amazing spells that no pony else could cast. God, those days were amazing and one of the best times of my life.
I mean, I even made those songs by Daft Punk, although, the ponies thought it was all done by me and shit, but it was really done by Daft Punk.
However, they loved it so much, that they see me as a legend at that school. Sure, I was not an athlete or anything like those stereotypical popular kids, which is normally an athlete, being a douchebag, and a bodybuilder and shit, which is true and all.
I was just well known for my spells and music is all. Even Celestia got a little worry that I was not keeping up on my studies, but I proved myself worthy of being her personal student when I took her tests.
I still studied and shit and still passed, which impressed her. However, Wolf did offer me some ways to cheat just in case I did not my stuff, but of course I did it the truthful way.
However, Wolf did kill like three or four teachers just to get a cheat sheet and all. I am still surprised that Celestia has not realized that there are some missing teachers and they were murdered.
Murdered by a trolling asshole is a way you can put it. Speaking of Wolf. Wolf was also quite popular as well.
I mean, of course he was, since he is a talking Timber wolf. A timber wolf that most ponies are afraid of, for they fear a timber wolf will kill them. However, Wolf was a nice wolf.
Although, Wolf wasn’t exactly accepted at first. It took some time and most ponies got used to him. Nevertheless, when he started to talk, well, he was well known throughout the school.
Man, those were the days. Too bad, they are gone. Rather reminds me the days of when Cartoon Network used to be good. Oh well, I’ll kill Ted Tuner who ever runs Cartoon Network later after I write this chapter.
Note to self, use shot gun or burn him alive.
Ok, so let us move on with the story. Then I asked Neon, “Well, where else am I famous at?”
Then Neon said, “Well, you’re not that famous at Cantorlot, however, you are famous here in Stalia and Ponyville.”
Ok, so I agreed with him on the Cantorlot part. I mean, even though I went to school that was located over at Cantorlot and was well known at the school, didn’t mean I was famous in Cantorlot itself.
I mean, I was not exactly the most polite gentlecolt in the town. Then again, I did not really go outside of the school and took a look around Cantorlot.
Not that I was shy or was an indoor type of pony. However, it was mostly due to the fact tat the ponies that live in Cantorlot are mostly likely to be, dumbasses, ignorant, annoying, douchebags, and/or snooty France ponies. I mean, I didn’t want to get an argument, on how my manners or looks doesn’t appeal to a certain pony, and then end up killing him and a lot of other shit.
Such as paper work and explaining to Celestia that it was, a pony named Adam Sandler that did it. Yea, I killed so many ponies back in Cantorlot, they thought that whoever the pony that was doing it, a serial killer was.
That and there were so many dead bodies, you think it was the Holocaust or something. In addition, they gave the “killer” a nickname, which was, the rich pony killer. I was Jack the Ripper to Cantorlot to put it in more simple words.
I actually took pride in that title. However, I was drunk on Tequila when I took pride in it, along with some midnight weed.
In addition, in case if you remembered from last chapter, where I said that I was famous in Cantorlot. Yea, I sort of lied about that part. You see, you do crazy things when you mix mentos and weed together, along with diet coke.
That and Tequila as well. Also, just to let you know, it was a bet made by Wolf, to where he made bet I could not consume metos and Diet Coke, and Tequila, as well as smoking weed all at once.
I also won that bet. Although, Celestia was a little upset with me when I did it, because let us just say, the effects of what I drink and smoke was bad. As in, almost like insane bad. What you read though was sort of an after effect, where there was still little left of the effect and shit.
As for being famous in Ponyville, that was also true. Then again, it is a small village and such, and with small towns, most people know everyone. I mean every time I go to Ponyville, they know my name and sometimes say hi and what not.
They also sometimes trust me, Twilight to protect the town if anything bad happens, and other shit. Now sure, why I wrote that down, but I guess I was trying to say was that they know my powerful magic ability.
However, I am just known to be a nice stallion and a pony that will come to one’s help if in need in Ponyville.
In Stalia, well, I am fucking sure that it’s quite obvious that I don’t need to mention a single word about it.
I then asked Neon, “Is there any place else am I famous at?”
Then Neon said, “Well, if you recall of the events that happened back in Planet random, you got the powers just like I do and you’re a very high rank on the planet, so, you’re famous there.”
I wish that wasn’t true. I mean, I did not want to do with anything with Planet Random anymore. I didn’t even want to step a hoof on the planet, but sadly it happen.
I mean, I was like a god to those people back on Planet Random. They also respected me and I was rather treated with royalty.
In addition, I got all of this, for just simply asking for my friend’s power back to the council of Random, and instantly getting powers that Neon should have gotten. What the fuck is wrong with that planet, I don’t know what.
Although, it is random, so I guess that makes some sense in a sense.
Also, when Neon said, events on planet Random, every pony else turned their head around and started to ask, ‘What is he talking about.’ I then said, “Well, it’s sort of hard to explain. You see…..”
Then Neon cut me off, and whispered into my ear, “Stay quiet about that Knight. No pony needs to know what happened on that planet, nor of its existence.”
Well, I thought our cover was blown, so I thought I had to tell.
Well, then Neon said, to every pony else, “It’s nothing. Just a little adventure that is very boring and not interesting at all.”
Neon also said that in a nervous tone. Then every pony let out a sound when you your hopes are up and then it is shot down and you’re disappointed.
I then said, “Why the fuck did you all do that?”
then a random pony said, “Well, we were hoping that you had some sort of story that could boosts up this towns and your popularity.”
I then thought, ‘they want an adventure story so they can have more popularity? They are not getting thing from me.
I mean, I really just do not give a flaming fuck if they need one or not. Then again, if it gets them off my back, then sure, maybe one will do it. Maybe I should tell them about the hangover adventure.
Not sure why, but, I rather not talk about anything else, like the adventure that I had in Manehatten. Besides, I don’t know how Twilight would react if she found out that some pony wanted to kill her, that she didn’t get a Gala ticket from her.
Nor do I know how Celestia would react, because for one thing, she thought I was in Stalia, learning something about friendship.
Then again, I did tell her about the bar fight. However, I did fight three pony robots, or was that two?
I do not know though. They are all the same to me, just like the zebras. I cannot tell them apart. I also killed a pony.
I also drugged Twilight, so I don’t think I want that story to be out to the entire country of Equestria. That and Twilight won’t trust me anymore because of that.
She will not trust spike as well, since he raped her and all. I just remembered that I’m talking to myself in my mind.
Or more like thinking. Man I have some weird or long thoughts going on here. Maybe I can sing another old 80’s song. Maybe I can.
However, what good 80’s song is there to sing about in my head? I do not really know. What about 90’s? Then again, most music sucked.
Not all songs sucked, but most. Maybe I should sing a song from the era of America when everyone got high.
A 60’s/70’s song would do me some good. Then again, it’s mostly the beetles. Fuck it, I’ll just sing a random 80’s song, no matter what it is.
‘’We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind.
Because your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well they are no friends of mine. I say, we can go where we want. A place that they will never find. And, we can act as we come out of this world, leave the real one far behind. In addition, we can dance. We can dance if we want to. We can leave friends behind. ‘’
Now that was a decent 80’s song. Fuck it. I will do another random 80’s song, for I am bored in my mind.
Man, this thought has been going on for a good while, just like my last adventure.
This is a nice place to be at and to get away from all of my troubles. I also find a sort of an echo in my head when I ever speak to myself. This is fucking awesome.
As long as Neon does not try to read my mind, I’ll be good. Now let us get to that other random 80’s song.
‘’ I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone. All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity. Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind. Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see. ‘’
Wait a second. Dust in the wind wasn’t from the fucking 80’s. Oh well, I’ll try one more time at this. Although, how do I know Dust in the wind?
I only heard it once in my life, and it was in Family guy. Oh well, all the song is to me is dust in the wind to me anyway.
Did I just make a pun there? My god, I’m starting to become one of the ponies now, for they also too make puns.
I wonder if I mention this to Neon, he would say that it’s natural for ponies to come up with puns. Perhaps maybe that is true.
Then again, what the fuck do I know? I’ve only been here for 7 years and I still don’t know how to act as a proper pony. Oh well, let us get to that song.
‘’ Say you, say me say it for always, that’s the way it should be. Say you, Say me, say it together, naturally. I had a dream, an awesome dream. People in the park playing games in the dark. And what they played, was a masquerade. And from behind of walls of doubt avoice was crying out. ‘’
Wait a second, that was an 80’s love song. Well, at least it isn’t annoying then getting Rick Rolled.
At least that’s something. Oh well, I’ll try next time to not fuck up with the love songs of the past. However, at least I have to sing as a black guy would back in the 80’s.
Man, black people were interesting back in those days. Too bad, they are gone. Then again, from time to time, they can still be interesting, but that’s if you catch them at the right moment.
Man, I thought this through my head very fast apparently, because it is about my turn to talk.
How is this even possible? Oh well, I should possibly get out of my mind and talk with the ponies and shit.’
I really do have long thoughts, don’t you agree? I mean, to be honest with you, I can also think this very fast, such as Twilight in one particular universe that I went to one time.
However, in that alternate universe, it had Twilight, who was an alicorn, having sex, or fucking I should say, with a cloud.
I was greatly disturbed, but yet, I have Neon, and I believe I’m used to being disturbed by now. Oh well then, let us move on with this conversation, because I’m starting to run out of ink, and it’s late at night at Cantorlot castle.
I mean, I’m in my room right now, Celestia and Luna are asleep, and they thought I went to bed like 5 hours ago. I mean, I really don’t want to go out into the hallways, go get ink, for I fear I may disturb the Royal sisters and their slumber.
Well, technically not Luna, for she is busy going into others dreams and helping them.
I mean, they would be rather pissed off at me if they found out that I wasn’t asleep. I mean, trust me, if you knew how long I spent here in this universe, you would understand that you never ever want to piss them off. I pissed them off a couple of times before, and lets just say, things didn’t go so well.
In addition, there was a lot of dead pony bodies as a result of it, well, at least for some of the problems that happened. I’m just wasting ink right now just writing what is currently happening to me right now aren’t I?
Then again, I guess I can just refill it with my magic, but I don’t feel like creating a spell that refills ink.
Besides, it’s three at night for me right now. Maybe I could bribe one of the guards to get me some ink. Hold on a second while I go get a guard to do this shit for me.
*Get’s up to go to open the door and sees a guard right near his door. Knight says a few things to him and bribes him to get him some ink. Then comes back*
Ok, so I just bribed a guard. As I am waiting for that ink, let’s move on with the story.
Well, I then said, “Well, maybe I could tell you about a Hangover Adventure that I had and…”
I then saw Jack and Mac having nervous faces on, and Jack using that symbol way or signal I should say, to shut the fuck up and keep quiet about it.
Also, when I said adventure, it seemed that every other citizen of Stalia had their hopes up for getting a little popularity boost.
Then Jack came up to me, and said to a soft voice, loud enough for me to hear, but no pony and I else, “No pony needs to know about what we did Knight. Including the part where we pretty much fucked up everything.”
I also agreed. Besides, remember those pictures I told you about and how it was more wrong then the hangover? Well, a few pictures were me, Jack, and Mac trashing Cantorlot Castle.
I even remember when Celestia found her castle destroyed; she asked me if I would have known anybody who did it.
She asked me, because apparently, on the walls, written in the guard’s blood that we killed, but only to gain access into the castle, and apparently I wrote it, and it said, “Fuck You Trollesitia, you ruined Knight’s life.”
Apparently, I also wrote on the wall, “Knight is best pony.”
Well, I do have to admit though, that I am best pony. I mean, sure, there is Neon and he is random, and Forest for being… whatever he is.
With Mac, well, he is a little fucked up in the head, while Arrell is ok, and Jack, is a gentlecolt. Therefore, yea, I am best pony. In fact, I’m Knoghtolicious.
And just to say it more, I’m K to N to I-G-H-T-O-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. that’s right I’m Knightolcious.
I’m also better then all yawl, including the Mane six as well, and the other mane six. Which is my friends.
Therefore, yea, there you go fans of me. I wonder if the people back on earth would say that I am best pony, and having cool swag of me and awesome quotes or something on T-shirts.
That would be awesome. In fact I would buy it, because I’m best pony. And apparently, since I am saying these words as I am writing them down, my friends want to have a bit of a turn on the journal thing here.
I also have no fucking clue why they are here at night at Cantorlot castle, so don’t ask about that part and how it doesn’t make sense. Here’s Neon first.
Neon… Hello and this is your best pony, Neon Party! Of course, all of you think that I am best pony. I mean, I am well known and a hero on Planet Random, I am a god like being, and I created the universe.
I’m also a fun guy. So what the fuck are you waiting for then!? Come on up and show your allegiance to your fellow Team Neon, for I am best pony!
And for those who don’t see me as best pony, then it looks like I have more ingredients for my new batch of cupcakes, that or to haunt in your nightmares.
Jack… Why hello there, and I wasn’t planning on doing this, but since that I found out that Knight sees himself as bets pony, I thought I should throw my two cents into the ring here.
He’s not best pony. I am obviously. I mean, I can make some nice classy suits for you all and I drink beer and shit.
In addition, I do other shit that you will like about me. In fact, I wrote a little song about. In a big band type style… I think.
There is many teams to choose from. There’s teams Knight and teams Neon. There is Team Mac, Forest, and even Arrell. There are even those shitty teams, like team Edward and Jacob, that we all hope all die whoever is in that team. However, the is one team, that is the best of all. The team that is greater and shines bright. The team is the one that is the champion and will shoot the lawyers of Queen, because we just sort of stole a quote from them. And that team is, Team Jack. The team is the best of them all now. We are a classy team now. Fuck Knight and Neon too. They both can suck my dick and go to hell. Forest can stick a splintery post up his asshole while a robot fucks him in the asshole. While Mac trots up to his cousin Applejack and they both get in a fight. They then beat each other to a bloody pulp and they both kill each other. With Arrell and he can go fuck himself along with his teenage breeding sex drive crazy animals. I also know a black guy so of course that makes me cool. I also have a little brother too, but clearly no one gives a fuck about that. So join team Jack. The classiest team around. We can be polite, While we still have our manner, but we can still have a few drinks, and drink till we’re fucked. That is how cool our team really is. We can all have a hangover together, along as we don’t do that we will regret of. So what you waiting for, don’t just sit there and read the story, and join Team Jack!
Forest… I don’t know why I am even fucking doing this, but fuck it, I am best pony.
But if Rainbow Dash is best pony, then I guess I can agree with you on that one perhaps, but really I am bets pony, because, come on man! I have fucking fire and I am like the male version of Rainbow dash and shit.
Therefore, whatever join team Forest or I’ll go and burn your house down.
Arrell… I have nothing really much to say other then that I am best pony. I also have sexually active animals if that changes anything at all.
Mac… Join me my brothers and sisters! For I am best pony! Then, we can go and fight the pure evil Applejack and shit.
Then, we shall be free of her bullshit! Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as brothers and sisters!
In addition, I will shoot all the Disney lawyers, since I said a copyrighted star wars quote.
Back To Knight… Well, that is from them, but we all know who is best pony. That’s me, Knight, of course. I mean, come on. I’m better than those others and shit.
I mean, I’m mother fucking Knight and shit. Well, as I was saying before, was that when I was told not to tell the story of my adventure with me, Mac, and Jack and how we had our hangovers.
I then told every pony, “Well, ok, maybe not that story.”
I then returned to my mind to try my best to think of something else. ‘Ok, let’s see what else is there. Well, the only one that I can think of is the one thing from Manehatten, but that was different and shit.
Fuck it, as long as it will keep them off of my back and shit. know what? Since this is my head again, I might as well try to do those 80’s song.
‘’ What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more. Baby don’t hurt me, don’ hurt me, no more. What is love? Yeah. Oh, I don’t know why you’re not there. I give you my love, but you don’t care. So what is right, and what is wrong. Gimmie a sign. ‘’
Wow, what a classic song. That and very good it rather makes you forget about an apocalypse and shit.
I also remember the song from certain Brony You tube videos.
It is where he You Tube Poops is fucking crazy as shit man. Yea, that is a good song.
Then the punch line is that mouth and the eye balls that says, ‘ I’m firing my lazar!’, and then he does. What other 80’s song I can also do and sing fast in my head. I got it!
‘’ Baby, don’t understand. Why we can’t just live long to each other’s hands. This time might be the last time, I fear. Unless I make it all too clear. I need you so. Take these broken wings and learn to fly again. Learn to live so free. When we hear the voices sing, the book of love will open up and let us in. Take these broken wings. ‘’
Why the fuck do I know about the 80’s love songs? Oh well, as I said before once in my head, the 80’s were mostly about love.
Then again. Everyone was on crack back in the 80’s, so I don’t understand. Unless they were singing their love for crack, then that would make sense.
I wonder, is there black people crack and white people crack. Where regular crack would be the classic white, while the black people crack would be either brown or black.
Then again, if that ever happened, the kkk, would be saying that the black crack is bad, but they then snort it up and fuck each other with a rods dick. What the fuck did I just say?
Well, my mine does think some weird things sometimes. Fuck it; I think I made everything a lot worse in my head.
Then again, I feel like there is an audience who is reading my mind, as in reading it in words right this very moment.
Maybe I should not try to think about it. I don’t think I want to break the fourth wall and destroy the universe again, sense it seems to me that I am now bounded to Planet Random.
Oh well, fuck it. I’ll think of another’s 80’s song.
‘’ out where the river broke the Blackwood and the desert oak Holden wrecks and boiling diesels steam in forty-five degrees. The time has come to say fair’s fair to pay the rent, to pay our share. The time has come, a fact’s a fact. It belongs to them, let’s give it back. How can we dance if our earth is turning? How can we sleep if our beds are burning? ‘’
Wow, that was a good 80’s song. Too bad, I don’t know when in the 80’s but like I give a dam about it.
Then again, how can you sleep if your bed is burning? I mean, of fucking course there’s the obvious reason of course, but at the same time, why the fuck would you want to set your bed on fire.
Maybe a kkk member did it. Maybe he thought he was tired of burning the cross of whatever those white fucking assholes do and decided to burn a fucking bed.
That would make sense I guess, in some sort of way. You know what, it does make sense. It makes a whole lot of sense to burn your fucking bed. Then again who said they were going to burn there bed?
I bet it was Willie fucking Nelson. I always had a suspicion if him wanting to burn stuff. Like how he burned his horse.
No, wait, Willie never killed his horse by setting it on fire. I killed it by cocaine with it.
Yes, I remember that glorious day of doing crack with a mental retarded horse. I had so much fun. We snorted until the cows came home, which was about 15 minutes that took the cows to come back.
I mean, I just set those cows free to distract Willie Nelson so I could do cocaine with it’s horse.
Then again why did I do it in the first place? now I remember. My Lego batman creation character got me hooked on crack, but ever since I did crack with the horse, I never wanted to do crack again, so I just moved on to weed. Sometimes, I had dreams about that horse, how we would bask in the bright sun, while doing crack.
We jumped through the fields of flowers and killed the pope. Then he died, and to honor his death, I stopped with the crack and moved on to weed, because the horse would have wanted me to do so.
That weed is so much better then crack. I’m really off track here aren’t I? Then again, my mind does wonder off sometimes to other subjects that are not related to task at all.
Fuck it. I think I done fucked up now, like a southerner. I’ll just put a distraction in my mind, so my brain won’t wonder off again. Fuck it, I’ll just give it Conway Twitty.’
I then said to every pony, “Well, there is one more adventure that I guess you can use, but as long as it doesn’t leave the town I guess.”
Then every pony had their heads up, ears close to me, and their hopes held high. I also felt like shattering those hopes and dreams of theirs, because really, they don’t fucking deserve it.
For one thing, Stalia is a fucked up town. Then again, it’s not really that fucked up, compared to others.
It’s like Ponyville, but with a hint of adult themes here and there. However, there are dead bodies lying around the down, and the town does not seem to care about it.
However, like I said, I wanted them to get off my back about shit related to this, so I just told the story.
I said to the town’s people, “Well, where should I start? I was at my home, doing weed with Wolf and all, and I thought that I should go take a piss very quick.
Well, I did so, and my friend, TK, came up to me after me taking my piss, because that would’ve been gay and all if he did walk up to me in the bathroom and all. Well, he said to me that he needed something from Manehatten and he was too busy to go get himself.
So I went ahead to go to Manehatten and I was walking the trail. As I was walking, a group of ponies, who looked like a bunch of douchebags to me, came up to me in a friendly way. we talked a bit and we went our separate ways.
However, I got a little suspicious of them, but I shrugged it off as a weird coincidence. I then ended up in Manehatten, found what I was looking for or was sent out to find in other words.
As I did so, I got attacked by a robot pony and that robot tried to kill me.
However, I escaped by climbing the rooftops and trying to lose him and all. However, the robot caught up to me, so I was forced to jump down to the ground, and which I saw Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
Before we continue two things. One, f course I was lying to them. I mean, I do not think it is a fucking bright idea to say what I actually did.
Two, I wanted to fucking blow my brains out just for properly saying Twilight’s name. I mean, who the fuck cares if she isn’t addressed as princess?
Seriously!? It does not matter. Along as you know what she is, it fucking doesn’t matter, now does it? Sure, you can do it out of respect. However, along as you know that she is the princess and you know your boundaries, you should not have to do that.
Besides, she’s a bitch. Then again, she does have a crush on me, but at times, I just feel like she is a bitch. I don’t know why I do, however, I think I should trust my gut here.
I mean, when the changeling queen was defeated back in the season 2 finale, the lesson to learn was to trust your gut.
In other words, trust what your feelings are on the inside or something like that. Therefore, I was just trusting my guts, that Twilight was a bitch.
If you have a problem with it, complain to Trollestia. Speaking of Celestia, my friends just left, and the guard isn’t back with the ink.
I hope Celestia is not going to wake up, because if she does, well then, I’m certainly a dead man or a dead colt I should say. I can just imagine if Bugs Bunny was here, he would be yelling at me in a psychotic way to me, “You’re a dead man! You’re a dead man!! You’re a dead man Knight!!!”
yup, let’s hope that doesn’t happen, or I’m fucked. Well, as I was saying to the ponies of Stalia about my story, “Well, Princess Twilight Sparkle then asked what I was doing there, but the robot came down next to me and tried to punch me into the brick wall behind.
Me however, I ducked and it just punched the wall and made a hole or a dent I guess. I then continued to run, while Princess Twilight Sparkle didn’t question it. I then eventually escaped the thing, and felt tired. I then went to the bar to grab some Tequila.
However, the bar tender wouldn’t serve me the full bottle of the fucking dam tequila, and every pony in the bar asked why they also couldn’t have full bottles as well. Then the revolution started and I just escaped through alleyway.
Then I came across a few gang members of that group that I came across early. I then beat them to death, so unfortunately, I couldn’t get any information out of them, but I did find a card that one of them had. it was the Nightclub place in Manehatten.
I then went to it, but saw it was nearly impossible to get in. However, Princess Twilight Sparkle found me and asked why I was in Manehatten. I couldn’t tell her why; however, I just asked her out if she wanted to get a drink or two at the club.”
In addition, after I said that, then every pony went, ‘awwwweeeee.’ They thought that Twilight and I had something going on between us. I just hoped at the time that Twilight did not think we actually had a relationship between us, and if she was asked if she had a colt friend or not, she would mention me. I mean, I really don’t want to be with her.
I mean, she’s cool and all, but I don’t think I want to be with a bitch that thinks certain things.
Let’s just put it that way, because if Twilight ever read this, and found out what I was thinking of he, let’s just say, there will be a fight and a dead Twilight in her Library.
That and Spike would be an orphan. Maybe I could take him in. then again, I already have Wolf, a tiger, and a bird.
In addition, yes, I still have the tiger like, years from now. It’s really weird though. I mean, you think the tiger would be pissed off at me and would be aggressive and shit, but really, he’s a cool tiger to be with. I mean, along as you don’t fuck with him, he’s cool.
However, if you get him to smoke some weed or have a room filled with weed smoke and shit, he’s even cooler.
It’s even cool when he has his sunglasses on. Well, anyway, as I was saying, “We then got into the Nightclub and of course someone asked why she chooses me instead of any other nicer stallion that she could have.
However, Princess Twilight Sparkle just said that,… well… I don’t really remember, because I wasn’t paying attention.
In fact, I was just looking over what the plan was over in my head, and singing random old songs. We then got to the bar and I offered to get the drinks, since I wanted to be a gentlecolt and all.”
I still want to punch myself in the face for saying that. I mean, I would say that I wanted to punch myself for saying that to the other ponies and shit, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to do so.
However, I still want to punch myself. Being a fucking gentalcolt my ass. I then said to the other ponies about my story, “I then got the drinks and put a little knock out drug in Princess Twilight’s drink.
She drinked and got knocked out. Then I went to find the leader of the group for those ponies who attacked me, which I did, but found a robot pony god in front of me.
So what I did was I told the DJ to play some kick-ass music to go along with the fight that of course that I made back when I was at school. The music started to play and just to be clear, it was the song that I made and what I call, Robot Rock.”
I really do hope that Daft Punk does not sue me for this if they ever find a portal to this universe and finds out about what I did.
I mean, I don’t want to kill the two best electronic music there is. Sure, there’s skrilliex, but, honestly, he’s a douchebag that deserves to be cut and get’s poked in the asshole with a hot rod while being force to eat a razor blade, and getting Marilia-AIDS from black people in Africa.
I honestly think he’s that horrible at electronic music, and it is my opinion and your don’t matter. Although with deadmau5 they are alright.
They seem to be good in my book, but I did kill deadmau5 like after I discovered the portals and all.
I mean, I just wanted to talk with them, but they threatened to call the cops, but I just ended up killing them. I mean, at the time, I didn’t have that type of gas where i can just knock people out and erase their memories.
I mean, I was still a beginner at this off the grid stuff or universal stuff I should say.
Anyway’s as I was saying, once more to the ponies, “I then fought the robot my lilting him up on fire and melting him or at least most of his important robotic parts and wires. I then went to the leader pony guy and asked where was the pony that was trying to kill me.
He then told me that the pony was at the old abandoned Electric Company, and which I went to and found it creepy. In addition, before I went to the company, I took Princess Twilight back to her room safely somehow.
Well, I then went the place, and I felt like a dark past that the building had was haunting me somehow.
I went in and found words written in blood and arrows pointing to the direction that the pony wanted me to go to.
I then found the place, and which two ponies, which I killed very easily, attacked me but there was also a robot.
I tried to fight the robot, but unfortunately, it won, and it did have me pinned down to the ground, but the robot froze in place. I then discovered that it was commanded to not to kill me and was ordered to I should say.
I then went into the room where the pony was. I then found out who tried to kill me, which was a mare named Horseshoes. She said she wanted to get revenge on me for not giving her the Gala ticket and how she offered to help me with my gardening. I then said to her that I didn’t have a garden and I found that she mixed me up with Princess Twilight. Apparently, she wanted to kill Princess Twilight instead of me and said she was sorry.
However, since she ruined my day and since Princess Twilight is my friend and all, I killed her and threw her dead body in a dumpster.
I then went back home and got some rest from my long adventure that I had.”
I was then finished talking about my adventures and all and every was awed about my amazing adventure.
The citizens were talking amongst them self’s on how this will defiantly give the town of Stalia and me a very high popularity boost and what not.
I then said to them, “So, you got a story for me. Now, you won’t tell any pony, will you now?”
Then a bush came straight towards me, and a pony with a press hat on his head shooked my hoof. He also had a picture of a newspaper for a cutie mark on his ass.
He said in a 1920’s type of voice, where everyone talks fast, “Hello and my name is News Press. I just randomly came to this town, looking to get a hooker and so I can fuck her and my wife is cheating on me. Speaking of which, my wife is a total bitch and she can go to purgatory. In fact, I hope someone rapes her and she get a knife through her pussy and is forced to eat shit. Anyways, as I was passing through, I heard about this wonderful day for this town of yours called Stalia Day. I thought I could stop on by because I figured I could write something for the Equestria daily news that I write for. In addition, in case you don’t fine sir, it’s a newspaper company that write doe all of Equestria, and gets a newspaper first thing to the Princesses of Equestria. Anyways old sport, may I offer you a cigar?”
I then said to the random ass pony that came up to me, “No, I’m fine. I prefer weed.”
Then the pony continued to talk in which he reminded me of Pinkie Pie when she’s hoped up on something else then herself.
The random pony said, “That’s a very good choice old sport. Anyways, when I came here, thinking I can make a story, since I am in a need for a good story.
If I don’t get one in 24 hours, my boss will fire me and I will then have to steal from my cheating bitch of a wife and kill his colt friend for food. Now, I was walking over here and saw a hot mare chick, so I went into the buses to masturbate while seeing if I can get a good story to save my ass from being fired.
After I came In the bushes, which by the way, it’s my territory, so if you have come some place, do it somewhere else you fucker. Anyway, when I overheard you that you had an interesting story, I grabbed my notebook out and I jotted the story down.
You sire are a hero and a legend good sir. I will now go back to my place of business and give this to my boss. When he sees this, he will be mighty fine pleased with me and your story shall be on the front page. So all of the good fine citizens of Equestria can read about your magnificent story of amazement.
In addition, sir may I say you have guts sir. You have good guts, for I believe no pony could not do what you did in your story. You actually have the balls old sport. The mightiest balls there is and you deserve to be the colt friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle. You deserve, and I can just tell you two will get married in the future.
In fact, I will also do a short little story on how you two are dating now. Now a good day to you fine sir, for I must leave to print this story. I wish the best of luck to you in the future my friend.”
Then the pony ran off so fast, I don’t even think Sonic, nor Rainbow Dash could even catch him. Dam those 1920’s type of ponies.
You can never catch them. They always have a trick up their sleeves. In addition, as the News press was running away like a retarded roadrunner from the roadrunner cartoons, I yelled at him as he was running away, “Please don’t print that! I don’t want to kill you later on!”
Then he was long gone. Although, I was going to kill him, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find him. He’s a tricky bastuard, that’s what he is all right.
I the mumbles to myself, “Great now every pony will now about my story and me and Twilight.”
However, every pony else seemed to be happy, for they will get a popularity boost, which by the way, it kind of did get Stalia more on the map, but not really though.
So at least something good did happen. However, when I walked through other cities, people would look at me in awe and say that I am the coolest pony that ever lived.
That and they would ask me if Twilight and I had got it on yet.
I said to those who asked that, “Fuck off you pricks.”
However, when Twilight was asked about this, her answer was, “Well, not yet. I would want to wait to see where our relationship goes. However, if it does go somewhere, I hope we get do it soon. I mean, he is my Knighty Wighty.”
I can’t fucking believe that I just wrote that down. However, that’s the nickname that she gave me.
I mean, she really thinks that we are a couple and we will have a great life together. See, what I told you.
She is a fucking bitch. Was I right or was I wrong? She really thinks we have something, but really, we do not.
Then again, I guess love is blocking or common senses, and she that possibly why she doesn’t see me not wanting to date and all.
That or she could be a retard, although, I do hope not. However, if she were, I would have to put her down then.
I would have to go to my backyard and grab my shotgun and put ol’ Twilight down. That or I could just shoot in the air a few times, so that will give her a sign to go and run away.
I can just imagine it. I would have my awesome southern hat on and Twilight would follow my commands that I would give her. We would be either outside my house or in the forest, and I’ll aim the shotgun in the air.
I would then shoot it a few times and say to Twilight while crying, “Go on. Get Twilight! Get before I shoot you! go on and get Twilight! Now!! I said fucking now you bitch!”
I would then be throwing rocks at her, while crying of course, and Twilight would be running away like a dog.
Then she would be far away from me at a distance and look back at me. She would back at me with her big pupil black eye I guess she would have.
I would then throw another rock at her and yell at her, “I said get Twilight!!! Go on be free!!”
Then she would be gone and I would be on the ground crying and shit. Then I would spend a few days at Stalia, and when I’m about to leave, I go find Twilight in the woods.
Then I look for a bit, and I eventually find her, and I say to her, “Twilight. You back! Come Twilight!! Come here!!!”
then I would have a happy face on and she would tackle me to the ground and start licking my face like a dog and then the credits would roll with happy music, as we play in the sun. What the fuck did I just write down? It is like, old yeller I guess. I don’t know, I’m just getting off track here.
Well, back in Stalia with the actual story line, other than a fake story line, I was still standing there, all pissed and shit.
I then looked at every pony else, who was just staring at me with smiles on their faces, honestly, it crept me the fuck out. I mean, they remind me of those people from hereafter, who just stand around and shit, but they had smile then poker faces on their faces for an expression and shit.
Then one pony said, “So…. When are you and Twilight going to go out?”
I just could not believe it. They just think we’re going to do it one day, but in response, I just said to them all, “Fuck you all and shut the fuck up about what just happened. Let’s just continue what the plans are and shit.”
After I said that, one pony asked to another pony in a whisper, “Why does he say the F-Bomb so much. That’s not normal.”
Then the pony that was asked about the question then said in response, “Don’t worry. He’s just influenced by his friend Wolf.”
I then thought, ‘Wow. Neon wasn’t bullshitting me. Well, then, I guess you win this round Neon. Then again, you win at everything since you are a god like being.
However, since I do have higher powers then him, I should be able to win every time, but then again I don’t give a flaming fuck about it.’
I then went back to my usual spot where I was once was before all of this shit happened to me.
After I did so, every pony else went back to their spots, but my other friends was by me this time around.
Then my friend Forest then asked me in a whisper, “Come on Knight. You don’t have to be embarrassed about dating Twilight. I mean, if you guys marry, you’ll get some sweet sexy ass. That and you would be banging a Princess. Besides, you’re a very lucky colt.”
I then had those eyes, that tell you something if you look at them. I had those eyes that said, “I’m going to fucking rip your fucking intestines if you don’t shut the fuck up about Twilight.”
I believe Forest got the message, but I think he got a different message. Also, u don’t know what ever happened to that News Press guy.
Meanwhile… At The Equestria Daily News Head Quarters…While being narrated by Morgan Freeman…
Wow, that blowjob was amazing random black hooker that I didn’t pay for, but just killed the pimp and shit.
Now go fuck yourself bitch! I have other hookers to fuck now! In addition, another thing… wait a second, am I on for narrating.
Son of a fucking bitch. I thought I was done for today. Very well then, I guess I still have to do my voice and no white people can’t narrate for themselves. It looks like its up to me to save this fic then.
Therefore, since I wasn’t informed by, of you dirty uncle monkey fuckers about me being on, and shit, I have to figure out where we are at now. Well, it seems to me that we are at a building that makes newspapers.
In addition, apparently, people from the 1920’s still exist here. Well then, I thought I kill all of them off before, but apparently, some have survived the camps.
Very well then, I guess I can’t do anything about it now, especially since they are ponies now and shit.
Well, let us see here. Therefore, the white ponies were hard at work, doing white people shit, what they would do at a newspaper company or factory or whatever.
In addition, they should get Asians to work at the factory, since they work for less, like fifty cents a day, and they do not even notice how much underpaid they get.
Although, with Illegal Mexicans, they would do it for just a dime. They really think if they get a dime, they are living the American dream and they think they are rich. They just think the poor Americans are super rich, while the middle class are super mega rich.
With the rich people, illegal Mexicans think that they are monster rich, or something that they call, the blanco Diablo.
However, for those black French people, in French, Je ne peux pas croire que vous regardiez cette place Or in other words, you know what. I’m not going to fucking say it. I mean, why the fuck should I tell you dumbass white people what it means.
Go look it up what it means on the internet. Besides, I’m Morgan fucking freeman, I don’t have to do jack shit for you white folks who are clearly being racist to me right now.
Anyways; some pony named… News Press? Seriously? I swear to me that this name gets more odd every dam fucking day of my life.
Well, anyway, News Press went up to his boss and showed him the story that he wanted to print as a story.
The boss said to News, “You got spark kid. I’ll tell you that. I was about to have you fired for not giving me a decent story and continue to fuck your wife and give your position to this spider like pony over here. he said his name was Spiderman, but I don’t give a fuck, so here’s what’s going to happen. You still can have your job, and get me more stories like this. This story will be on the front page within three days from now. Moreover, when it is released, the Princesses of Equestria will get it first. I mean, this is a pure gold mine seller right here. So go out there and get more news stories like this.”
Then News said to his boss, “You got it boss!”
Then, five days later, he was found dead in his cheating white sounding son of a bitch of a wife’s closet, with a rope around his neck.
However, there seemed to be seaman everywhere on the floor and he had an extremely huge boner, while wearing a batman costume that he got from some pony wearing the spider-man costume.
Therefore, in other words, he was masturbating and jacking off and just wanted to piss off his wife.
On his gravestone wrote, ‘He died trolling.”
Those words are truly right; because he was a white sounding racist guy. However, two days later after he was buried, he came back to life and lived a normal life as if nothing happened, nor did any pony question about it.
Now, I’m fucking done. Are you happy now!? Man, I was going to fuck another chick, but I get fucking interrupted again. Man, I’m getting too old for this kind of black guy shit.
Back To Knight…
I swear to you that I do feel that like Morgan Freeman is just doing this shit where he is narrating parts of the fucking story. Well then, as I was saying. After every pony got back into their usual spots, the mayor was about to continue talking.
The mayor said, “Well, since we are to expect some sort of popularity, all thanks to our wonderful pony, Knight, we might have some sort of pride and out town for once. Well, tomorrow is Stalia day, in which we celebrate our pride for this town.
Sure, it’s mostly very little pride, but then again, always remember, ‘We’re better than Ponyville.”
I just want to say that this town really has a problem with Ponyville. I mean, I see nothing wrong with that town at all.
I mean, for one thing, it’s a normal city. Second, they have a good elite team called the Mane Six or The Elements of Harmony.
All Stalia has is the other elements and are not really called to do shit. I mean, if there is any trouble at all, the Mane 6 are called upon to help out, such as a villain breaks loose and shit like that.
Although, they do have a team better the Mane 6. That is my team. There’s me, Knight of course.
I have been trained for years and have been living for thousands of years and very wise.
I have amazing magic abilities, and I do other shit. Such as create my own weapons and can be more powerful then what you guys have back on Earth. I can create cures for diseases and such.
I can even make technology to make it easier for pony kind to live each day. I can pretty much handle the most dangerous of all threats, even the ones that not even the Mane six could handle, nor god of this universe.
With TK, he is emotionless and is a devil who can lead an army. I mean, he has an infinite ammo of demons at his disposal, although, it’s not really infinite.
I mean, it looks like it, but, really, it is limited. About, like 1,000 I think.
Not sure because I never paid, any attention at all to what TK dies. We also have Factory Dash. Sure, she kills ponies to make rainbows out of them, but, she has an army that she trained.
You see, Factory Dash’s factory used to be located inside the weather factory, but was then later moved to a separate location, and the ones who admitted her to be the one who directs the part of the killing and shit gave sort of an army.
It’s hard to explain, but she has guards and ponies and shit. Whatever, you get the fucking point.
Therefore, Stalia does have a team. A team that can be a bad ass team. Was for the other elements, I can’t say for sure, but then again.
We do have Neon who is a god like being and can pretty much get help from Planet Random perhaps if there is any sort of trouble at all.
With Forest, he has his sonic fireboom that can light anything on fire. With Mac, well, he’s sort of a killing machine, if you piss him off right.
For example, Applejack. Nothing more has to be said there. Then there’s Arrell and Jack and with them… they don’t do much. Although, with Arrell, he could maybe lead animals to fight.
However, I am king of the Everfree forest, so that’s technically in my area of business.
However, maybe he can still do something, since he did steal crack from a Dragon once and did a whole bunch of other shit with his pet bunny named AssHat. With Jack, well I have nothing.
Then again, I guess he fight somehow, but I don’t know how though. Then again, I remember sometimes he can be very stealthy at time, like how he just snuck up on his whore wife that he married once and killed her.
So, maybe we do have a decent team. Oh well, back to what the mayor was saying about the next day’s events.
The mayor said, “So, we’re going to celebrate Stalia Day with some games, music, fun, and other stuff!”
Then the crowd cheered in happiness for their pride and shit. Then the mayor started to list off the games.
The mayor listed, “Our game events include a sack race, a race, who can write the fastest letter to a citizen in Ponyville that says, ‘Fuck You, we’re better then you.’ and more other games I think. Although, since I don’t know what they are tomorrow, I can promise you they will be exciting.”
All I have to say is, the games look like they will suck. For one thing, a fucking sack race.
Unless it’s to bury a dead body and hide it so no royal guards find it, then that’s fine, for I have done that plenty of times. Mostly with Neon, it happened to me.
With the race, well, that makes sense I guess. Other shit that they don’t know. How do they not know is beyond me though. The letter part, I’m not going to say. Let that part speak for itself.
Also, after the mayor said about the excitement thing, an old pony next to me said, “My doctor says too much excitement will give me AIDS.”
I then looked at them with ‘WTF’ look on my face. Seriously, AIDS?
Then again, Neon did laugh so hard he got AIDS, but it later cured itself. I then ask the old guy next to me, “May I ask who the fuck told you that?”
Then the old pony then said to me, “Why, it’s the best doctor in town that said it to me. I mean, he is quite a professional. Dr. Wings.”
I then had a little surprised look on my face. I only met him once, and that was only because jack, Mac, and me had that hangover shit and we had to go to him to see if he knew anything.
All I remember him killing off a patient that had cancer I think by smothering him.
After I heard his name, I said aloud, “Dr. Wings?”
Then surprise, surprise. Dr. Wings was right next to me. He then said to me, “Why yes, of course. It’s nice meeting you again Knight.”
Dr. Wings then shook my hoof again and we talked. I asked him, “Please tell me how the fucks are you even a doctor? I mean, you kill your patients and shit.”
Then Wings said to me, “You don’t need to worry about That Knight. Besides, I have you and Neon takes care of the dead bodies for me.”
I then realized what the fuck Neon and I were doing. I then said to him, “Right. We’re doing it. Although, I do have a question for you. if you know what you did, which was killing, why haven’t you like killed me for knowing?”
Then Wings said, “Well, why would I kill my future patients that will give me plenty of money to live off by and shit? I mean, I can sense that we will be seeing each other soon very often.”
Well, I knew what was he was getting at. He was saying that my friends and I will get hurt a lot and we will pay him money and shit.
Although, the often part I wasn’t so sure on. I mean, that all depends on how much my friend Forest wants to do jackass tricks and hurt himself.
I’m sure I will never let that go when Forest was doing those Jackass tricks to impress Rainbow Dash and be in the Wonderbolts and shit.
So, yea. I then had one last question for my quick friend, “So, why do that call you Dr. Wings anyway?”
Then Wings said, “Well I’m glad you asked.”
Then a 70’s song started to play. Then there was like a back up chorus, something like what Shaft would have that was saying, ‘Dr. Wings mother fucker.’
Then a shaft like theme started to play sort of. With all that, fuck music from the 70’s.
In addition, a pony out of nowhere started to play this flute sort of that sound good along with the theme and shit. Then the lyrics.
Dr.Wings mother fucka He’s the best doctor around! Dr. Wings is also an asshole. He’s a super cool flying pony that is a doctor! He has no limits of what he can do and he can do anything. He’s a doctor of love and time. He can even save fucking Equestria from evil if he wanted to. He’s just like that one guy named chick Norris, But with Wings, he’s an asshole. Dr. Wings! He’s a cool mother fucker! He’s a fucking Doctor! D. Wings!! He’s a doctor. He’s even better then doctor whooves! He’s the real doctor mother fucka! And he is also an asshole And a racist fuck as well!! He’s a doctor! Doctor!! Dr. Wings! Fuck yea mother fucka.
Back To Knight…
I felt like that song was horrible.
Then again, maybe Dr. Wins knew it was horrible, and just to be an asshole to me, he made that song.
Whatever, the Shaft theme is very much better than this kind of shit.
Although, I’ll admit, Dr. Wings seems like a cool guy to be with from time to time.
Then after the theme song was over and yes, I’m surprised that’s Dr. Wings theme. Well, after the theme was over, the mayor continued to talk or at least me paying attention.
The mayor said, “we help create the games and help for tomorrow o be better the Ponyville’s one, I will separate a group of six ponies into a team. The first team will be the safety team or security team I guess. Alternatively, perhaps it is more of a protection team.
Whatever, it’s the other elements. The other elements are to check the borders of the Everfree forest and make sure no animals that show a threat of danger to the ponies during the celebration will come out.
You can either kill them or just use your powers to kill them.” I then just stared at the mayor and said in my head, ‘really? I mean, I can control the EverFree animals. I’m the fucking king of the forest.
Then again, I guess if I collect the dead bodies, and then slowly put one in the EverFree forest from time to time, Slender Fetus might stay away from me. Sounds like a decent idea, but, still.
I feel like if Peta knew this was happening, they would be pissed off.
SOMEWHERE BACK ON EARTH READING THIS…..
Well, it looks like I have to fucking narrated again. I mean, seriously. Can’t they just get another black guy for this?
Well, apparently there is some sensitive white guy at his computer screen read the story of Knight. He stares at the screen for a few seconds, trying to make sense of this.
He then says out loud, “What!? Dam it! I thought Knight was on our side! Now I have to call group up and call for a meeting.”
The white guy did what he said that he would do, possibly because, you guessed it, he’s white. I mean, us black people, would’ve just done something else.
Like smoke weed or read a black guy book. That drink soda. Anything really, but then again I guess black people would do what this white guy is doing.
However, that does mean they are white guys disguised as black guys. Traitors. Therefore, the white guy made the meeting and was in a meeting room with other Peta members.
He then says to them through the microphone, “We have a new enemy today! A threat that is greater than no other! A threat of this very existence for this group! He is a traitor. A traitor against the Rebel Alliance. A Benedict Arnold! He is no other then who we once trusted, Knight!”
Every white guy gasped, while every black guy just sat there, wondering what the fuck was going on.
Then the white guy continued to say, “We must find him and we must destroy him! I know we are a peaceful group, but he has gone too far! We must fight back, for the animals!”
Then every white guy in the room start to say rabble, rabble, rabble, like in South Park.
While all the black guys still continued to try to make sense of this nonsense.
Then the white guy said, “Let’s grab our pitchforks and tortures and destroy every computer!”
Then a random member said, “Wait? What? how is that supposed to help?”
Then the white guy said, “Well, sense he is in an alternate universe and we really don’t anything else to burn that would relate to him other then the story of his life, all we can do is just burn computers that contain it. Now, let’s go my brothers! Go fourth and make a difference!”
Then everyone in the room went hauzzah, except for the black guys, which all they did was stood up and left to room, and actually spent their time actually giving a shit about their lives that they do have.
Then as everyone was about to walk out the room, another group, made up of Bronies and other, random people, such as paid Illegal Mexicans, stopped them.
Then the leader, who has a cowboy hat on and those shoes that have those metals things on the back on them and slowly walked up to the leader of Peta and said, “Wait a darn minute here. You ain’t going to destroy those nice computers. Can’t you see that we need it for ponies and porn?”
Then the white guy said, “I don’t give a fucking dam! There is a menace, sort of, on every fucking computer in the world! We need to destroy it, because…because. Well, it has some sort of relations to Knight.”
Then the cowboy guy then said, “You ain’t going to do such a thing. I mean, these nice people need to jack off. Sure there magazines, but really, they are only once a month. As for the ponies, well, those Bronies just need their daily dose of ponies. Besides, Knight is a pony, by technical standards. Therefore, I’ll give you one last chance. You either forget the whole thing of destroy of what we love, or things are going to get messy.”
Then the white guy said, “Fuck you!”
Then the cowboy then said, “Well then. A very poor choice I might say.”
Then they started to fight to the death.
Now, what the point of this was, well I have no fucking clue what so ever, but apparently it had a meaning of some sort.
BACK TO Knight…
Well then. I just feel like I just caused another world war. Don’t know why, but I just do. So, anyways. The mayor continued to give the jobs and assigned it to the ponies.
Then he let all of us go and we went ahead do our business. It took a while for the mayor to assign the jobs of course, but we were all eventually let go to do our duties.
Although, I do not know why, but I felt like Neon was about to do a duty in a COD way. kill all the animals that are a threat. Well, whatever. Neon, the others and me went to the edges of the Everefree Forest, miles away from civilation. Seriously? Why is this important? I mean, if the thing is miles away, why did they want us to check for animals that won’t even see them…they were hoping for more popularity, didn’t they?
I mean, think about it. I kill a shitload of animals that harm ponies, they show it off to the world, I become more famous, and Stalia gets more tourists. That and???, and Profit.
Which may I also say that south park joke is getting quite old? Really man, that has been around since the 90’s, like in season two, but whatever.
The people on the internet are forever alone anyways. Not sure, where that joke was supposed to go, but clearly it was supposed to go some where’s.
Anyways, we went ahead to the edge of the EverFree and we had miles of land to cover. I mean, there were miles of trees and shit to make sure no animals were doing shit.
Therefore, you think we would split into pairs of two, right. Nope. We all split up and went our separate ways.
Kind of sound like a shitty horror movie. Just saying is all. Then again, Slenderfetus was somewhere around the EverFree edges, so, it is like a decent horror movie.
Well, I went towards the North of the everfree. All I saw was a bunny that just sat there, being brain dead.
Literally. It just sat there, looking at me with red eyes, like the terminator, and eventually, half of his head came off. With Forest, he flew up to make sure no harmful bird was around.
Excuse me, he didn’t. Apparently, he was, but then was high enough to see Ponyville.
So, he said to us all, “Oh no! I see a Hugh harmful bird that is a threat! However, since I am the best and I am cool and strong and brave, I shall fight this bird off and you guys can go back doing whatever you were doing!”
Then Forest flew off to Ponyville, to possibly stalk Rainbow Dash. Although, I later found out he just wanted to go to Sugercube Connor, because apparently, Pinkie and Forest rather knows each other.
Although, Forest pinkie promised pinkie something and shit. Although, after that he, he went to stalk Rainbow Dash. Well, not really, but just stare at her and have those love looks in his eyes.
When he left, Arrell said, “When will Forest ever go up to Rainbow Dash and just ask her out?”
Then Mac says, “Yea. I mean, he had luck with chicks before. He was laid a few times before. Why can’t he just do it now?”
Then jack said, “Well, I believe it’s because he’s actually in love with her. Like he actually wants to have something serious with her.”
Then Arrell said, “Well that’s understandable and all. I mean we will eventually find some pony in our live that we love and have a family with. But we all got laid plenty of times before, so that mean we’re good with the girls, so it shouldn’t be hard to ask them out if we get laid a lot.”
Then Jack said, “Speaking of getting laid. I haven’t had sex sense a year ago.”
Then Arrell said, “I haven’t had it like only twice in my 20 years of life.”
Then Jack said, “I wonder how many times Knight gotten laid.”
Well, I was away from them, so keep in mind that.
Then Arrell said, “Yeah, I wonder too. Hey, Knight! When’s the last time you had sex!?”
I then responded, even though they couldn’t just come up to me and ask me, “Sex!?”
Then Arrell said, “yea! When’s the last time you got laid buddy!?”
Then I sad, “I never got laid!”
Which wasn’t true of course, but they can’t find out about Molestia and the portals to the universes.
If they found out, unspeakable things would happen.
Then Jack said, “He never got laid?”
Then Arrell said, “That’s unacceptable. One night, we got to take him out and get him laid.”
Then Jack stood there for a moment and thought about something. Then he said, “Wait, there is Twilight though.”
Then Mac said, “Oh yea. I forgot all about that, even though it’s quite obvious that she has a crush on him though.”
Then Arrell said, “Yea. I guess we should see how this one works out. I mean, it would make our jobs a whole lot easier. We wouldn’t have to find a chick for him to fuck, so, yea, it works out perfectly. That and he gets to bang a princesses instead of a hooker which we would most likely do for him. Since chances are, he wouldn’t be able to pick up a chick.”
All I have to say is, that is complete and utter bullshit right there. I know how to pick up the chicks. Sure, I don’t use any pick up lines, although, I’m not a douche or a drunken white guy at a shitty bar somewhere in the desert.
Literally. I mean, sometime I don’t have to do jack shit. Later on in my life, some pony chicks felled in love with me and that try to go out with me.
Nevertheless, I just turn them down, sense I don’t do that kind of stuff. Besides, Molestia would be somewhat jealous, unless of course it would be a threesome.
Then that would make sense but if I was into stuff like that and she wouldn’t be pissed t me for doing so, I would get laid 300 time in one night.
That how good I am, and I don’t even have to proof it. I mean, like I said, I am best pony. Well then, back to my story.
I was just shrugging off Arrell’s question, for I found it a bit weird, but at the same time, usual.
Then Neon appears the fuck out of nowhere, like how a magician would. Like smoke and shit coming out of nowhere.
Although he did it in the woods, then slowly came out of the darkness and said very loudly, “Hey Knight!”
After he said that, I stumbled a bit backwards. Then I said to him, “Neon! What the fuck is your problem!?”
then Neon said, “oh it’s quite nothing really. It is just how a citizen from Planet Random should act. Speaking of which, you haven’t been keeping up on your randomness lately ever since you became a Citizen.”
I then said to him, “So? Why should I care about if I’m random or not?”
Then Neon said, “You do realize you do have the 2nd to highest power in all of Planet Random, right? So it’s your responsibility to be random 99.99% of the time.”
I then asked him, “What do you do during the .1% of the time then?”
Then Neon said, “Whatever the fuck you want it to be my friend. Well then, anyways, I will help you out to be random.”
I then had a bit of a horrid look on my face and said, “There’s no need for that Neon.”
Then neon said, “Oh come on now. I insist. You have to learn their ways of Planet Random Knight.”
I then said, “Really, I don’t mind being on my own.”
Then Neon said, “Ok then, but you’re going to have a pissing dog fucking a panda eating paper clips in your bed tonight.”
Then I asked, for I didn’t hear him, “what was that?”
Then Neon said, “Oh nothing. Anyways, I’m here to see if you want any help.”
I then said to Neon, “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Then Neon said, “Oh come on now. I see that look on your face. You’re worried about something, aren’t you?”
Neon, was a bit right. Before I only found the only animal that day, I was worried about something.
I was worried that if I did find a threatening animal, that I was going to have to kill it, but the ponies approve of it.
I then told Neon, “Yea, I am worried about something.”
Then Neon said, “Well, go on and tell me then.”
Then I said, “well, I feel like if I do kill an animal, that every pony might think different of me, such as a murder and cannot be trusted. That and Celestia on my ass. I mean, the ponies are peaceful and really don’t want to harm anything, unless they are prepared to do so, I think I’m trying to say. I think I messed up.”
Then Neon stopped me and said, “No need Knight I understand. You do realize that ponies don’t mind you killing other animals. Along as it’s in self-defense of course. This is also you other flaw Knight that the others see weird in you.”
Neon was also right on this. One, I looked like a fucking weird Fluttershy. Two, I had completely forgot the ponies fighting others in this show. How could I you may ask. Well, I don’t know.
I then said, “Well then, I guess that makes sense. At least I know I can kill now when it comes to threatening animal’s now.”
Then Neon said, “That’s the sprit!” then he just stood there and stared at me. I felt like he was staring into my soul. I wonder what he saw.
What Neon saw…
Well, looks like Freeman is back once more. Neon sat there, looking into his memories.
However, Neon then looked passed that and saw other crazy shit. Which might I add, that is one scary white sounding guy.
I keep feeling like a black guy has something to do with my life right now, isn’t it?
Well, anyways, that happened and after a few seconds, I said, “Don’t you have other shit to do?”
Then Neon snapped out of his creepy trance and said to me, “Right. I’ll shall leave you alone and to venture off into the forest.”
Then Neon left and I had some peace and quiet to me myself for once without Neon to bother me.
Well, I was still looking for shit, but Neon was somewhere deep inside the forest, doing god knows what. Well, from what I’ve learned, Neon was just taking a stroll thought the forest.
He was looking all happy and shit, and eventually came across Slenderfetus.
Slenderfetus then said to him. “OH, Hello Uncle Neon! It’s nice to see you again!”
Then Neon said, “It’s always good to see my favorite Nephew of mine.”
Then Slenderfetus asked Neon, “Did you bring me a present this time?”
Then Neon said, “I sure did! Here you go!”
Neon then pulled out a random box from out of nowhere. Seriously, Neon has to have this all prepared have this in a warehouse that he pulls out of his ass.
Well, Slenderfetus took the box, and opened it up. then Slenderfetus had a happy face and hugged his new gift.
He then said, “Oh Boy! A new, dead, hacked Raccoon! I’ve always wanted one! Thanks Uncle Neon!”
Then Neon said, “It was my pleasure to do so. Why don’t you go play with it with your other dead animals”
Then Slenderfetus said, ‘Ok!” then he went off to his little cave to play with the raccoon. Then, Neon had from a happy face, to a curious face.
He had heard something, and he turned around to see it. he then found a small ball of glowing light.
He then went towards it to get a closer look without saying a word. Well, apparently, it was just a small portal, that leads into an alternate universe.
Yea, an alternate universe of this official universe, but of which I wasn’t around…sort of.
SOMEWHERE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE...
Ok,ok,ok. I’ll fucking do it now. Ok, so this is the alternate universe, which unfortunately, doesn’t have non-racist white people in it.
It’s basically the same thing what you are reading now, but with no Knight. Well, sort of with no Knight.
You will see in the future when the white guy tells you. Anyway, it was a dirt path road, and Neon and Jack were talking. Jack was saying to Neon, “Well then Neon. That was a very interesting story of you being in heaven. It’s also quite interesting that you met god, herself.”
Then the alternate universe Neon looked at him with a typical white guy smile.
He then said, “Well, it was quite fun and how she brought me back to life and cleared the whole mix up.”
Then Jack was also happy and had a smile on his face as well. Then he had a curious question also in his head. He then asked neon, “Well, since you were in the castle and met god and all. Did you get a chance to meet him?”
Then Neon said, “yup. I was able to meet him. Although, I do have to admit, that he looked quite pissed off at being in heaven. I’m not sure why he was like that, but I was able to meet him. However, he just doesn’t have his cutie marl yet or anything.”
Then jack said, “Then the rumors are true then. He does exist. I mean, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna has mention him once or twice before, but more of hinting him though. I wonder when he’s going to come down and help out the Princess.”
Then Neon said, “Well, I asked god and she said whenever he gets his cutie mark is when he will go down. Besides, she said even though she knows what he is supposed to do and prefers him to help the Princesses instead with her, she wants to be safe. Like making sure he knows what to do in his life.”
Then Jack said, “Well then. it looks like we’re going to have a newbie coming to Equestria sometime soon. I wonder how the Princesses will announce it.”
Then Neon said, “Me too. Although, I felt like a little energy went through me when I met him. I felt like some of his anger went to me and is now channeling through me.”
Then Jack asked, “What ever do you mean neon?”
Then Neon said, “I feel like killing some pony and I’m somehow jealous right now. Not sure why though.”
Yes, however, he is a random ass son of a bitch that sounds like a white guy and all. He should be used to be killing all ready.
Anyways, then Jack said, “Well, it’s getting late. I should head over to bed then.”
Then Neon said, “Got it. I’ll just continue to randomly walk for a bit more.”
Then both of the departed their own ways. This alternate universe of Neon walked for a bit, until he saw a green ball of light in the distance.
He wanted to shrug it off at first, but felt like it was important. Therefore, he went closer towards it.
He went towards it, but it moved. Therefore, Neon chased after it and it eventually landed somewhere deep in the Everfree Forest.
Therefore, that Neon took a closer look. In addition, when both Neon’s took a closer look, shit happened. The portal got bigger and it sucked the alternate universe Neon into the official universe, bringing two Neon’s into the universe instead of one.
The fun has been doubled you might say.
BACK TO KNIGHT
Why the fuck do I feel like a Luna joke was rather made?
Well, whatever, let us continue on with this life of mine. Therefore, if you may have guessed it, and this just turned into a horror story, there were two Neon’s now in the universe.
One legit Neon, while the other was an Alternate Universe Neon. Anyways, they both stared at each other when they alternate Neon came through the portal. Soon, alternate Neon gave a smile and said, “Hi” to legit Neon. Then real Neon said, “Hello. How you’re doing alternate universe Neon?”
Then alternate Neon said, “I’m doing great. How about you other Neon?”
Then Neon said, “Oh it has been a swell day for so far.”
Then other Neon said, “Well that’s great to know. Do you know I can get back to my universe?”
Then Neon said, “Nope.”
Then other Neon said, “Well then. That’s strange usually I could get back, since I’ve been to other universes three times before. Although it was strange where the portal was this time. Usually, it’s somewhere like in a dead body or something, or on Planet Random. But this time, I found it in the Everfree Forest, which we are in the EverFree right now?”
Then Neon said, “Well then, I don’t know about you, but I don’t give two shits about you.”
Keep in mind, that Neon said this…with a smile. Then other Neon said, “Glad to know.”
He also said that with a smile. Then Neon said, “You want to hang out together?”
Then other Neon said, “Sure. I wouldn’t mind spending time with myself.”
Then Neon said, “Great! Follow me and I’ll introduce you to my friends.”
Then other Neon said, “But this is an alternate universe. Unless my friends are like me, then I already know them.”
Then Neon said, “Well, yes, but I do have one more friend, and his name is Knight, that and I also have another friend that is a Timber Wolf named Wolf.”
Then other Neon said, “Well I Would be delighted to see him then old chap.”
By the way, who the fuck says old chap anymore? The only people who say that are old WWII veterans, that can’t even get a boner on.
Although with the Vietnam ones, you can’t say or do anything without them interrupting you and talk about their days in the jungle.
That and they are afraid of Asians. Although, if the Asians ever attack, we could use them as a first wave of an attack.
Then again, I’m not on Earth anymore, so why the fuck should I even care? If Asian attack or Illegal Mexicans start a revolution in Taco Bells, then you guy are on your own.
I prefer not to be part of it. Besides, Asians are smart, while Illegal Mexicans gives us a gift.
The gift of tequila and Tacos motherfucker! Speaking of Tequila, I have to see if Celestia hasn’t found my hidden area for my liquor yet.
I hope not. Last time she found it, she was extremely pissed at me. I can’t even drink anything anymore without her inspecting how much beer that I have.
That and she throw away my weed. She even got smart and starts to hire ponies to harvest the weed plant so I can’t have any.
Thank god for science. Along as she doesn’t catches on that I’m making them, I’m in the clear.
In addition, I almost forgot. What the fuck is taking that guard so long with my ink? I’m starting to run low here. I hope he is quiet, so he does not wake up Celestia or Luna.
if he does, I’m fucked and he’s dead. Oh well then, back to the story. Well, I was minding my own business, looking at the brain dead bunny. I mean, the thing was creeping me out.
it just stared at me with its lifeless eyes. I mean, I just stared at it too, but with a curious look, wondering if it was going to make a move.
Sometimes I feel like that bunny was plotting something. As if it’s going to kill me or it’s going to haunt me or something.
It’s just that really weird feeling that I have right now. Anyways, I was looking at the bunny, when I heard Neon’s voice.
Neon was walking out of the forest and Neon said to me, “Hello Knight, I see you’re having a good time with the bunny.”
I then had an idea pop up in my head. I then asked Neon, “Neon? What did you do to the bunny?”
Then Neon said, “Oh, I did absolutely nothing. I mean, it’s not like I pulled this bunny out from an alternate universe where everyone is scary as fuck, such as we have flesh hanging from our heads.
We can twist our heads 360 degrees, with the muscles detached or anything evil and creepy as fuck really.
And I definitely didn’t kill his parent’s right in front of him.” I then said to Neon, “Yea, sure you didn’t.”
I also said that sarcastically. In addition, I was about to run away, because I was worried that the bunny was going to get me at any moment.
I mean, the bunny just gets to me every time. That fucking bunny man. It’s so scary, almost as scary as Neon slenderfetus is.
I then told Neon, “Look, I better start to head back to Stalia, considering the fact I’m sure nothing is here that is a major threat to celebration tomorrow.”
Then Neon said, “Ok then, but I’m not sure if all is clear for the threats though.”
I then said to Neon, “Neon, you do realize I can control the animals of the Everfree right? I mean, you should know all about me now, right? I mean, you even know something that I don’t know about, but really I’m not going to give a single fuck about. Mostly because I don’t have time to fool around with shit like that.”
Then Neon said to me, “Oh Knight, you’ll soon learn the truth. By the way, do you think you can help me show my new friend around town?”
Then I said to Neon, “Look, Neon, if it’s a dead body, I don’t want to meet it. I see enough dead bodies around town that nobody gives a single fuck about already. That and …there was my friend…dead hobo body. He was… a good friend. I just wished… I had have done something before he thrown in a dungeon…for a crime that he did not commit. I hope that dead hobo body is doing all right. I mean, we were good friends we had good times together.”
Yea, I was a bit high at the time, although I will still never forget our friendship though. God those were the days, getting drunk on Tequila in a very dark alley way that you would mostly see rapists.
That and child molesters and you end up giving them money somehow. Then you go to a black guy for some weed and you end up killing for his money. Then you end up killing the pope and in which end up killing all the witnesses.
I’m sorry, I’m once again recalling an experience that I had that was quite difficult to handle.
I mean, I had a lot of witnesses to kill, but it was all worth it for the weed, somehow. Anyways, I do wonder where that dead hobo body went off.
MORGAN FREEMAN...AGAIN...
(NOTE: TL;DR version is that the dead hobo body joke got too long, it felt like it needed to be on it's own thing, so here's the link to it. You can either finish this episode first or read it now. agree with my old methods or not, this isn't ever going to happen again. Episode 20.5)
BACK TO KNIGHT…
Wow, I just felt that Morgan Freeman did a whole segment on dead hobo body’s life. That and I felt that I blacked out for a whole hour, or at least I think it was an hour.
I mean, I just, sat here, in the dark, looking at a fucking candle light burn the wax. Like, who the fuck does that?
Although, it does sound like an interesting game. It’s like watching grass grow. Someone should make that game for new grounds. In fact, that would get the game of the year award.
Even mentioned spike Video Game awards. Yea, the best game ever. In fact, it will also be 20% cooler than any other game.
Yes, watch a candle light burn it’s wax. Someone should make that a thing. In addition, someone else should make that Pineapple Train Express To The Star System Kids a thing. Someone really needs to.
Wow, I’m somehow running out of ink. I wonder where that guard went. Wait? Man, he better not has stolen my bits. If he did, I will be so pissed off. Fuck it, I know I can just refill the ink with a spell, but I’m too lazy to get the book for it. However, I still feel like Morgan Freeman was narrating while I was blacked out.
Then Morgan Freeman says to me, while talking to me in the room without showing his face, “I am narrating you white dumbass! Why the fuck do you think you always black out!?”
Then I said, “Well then, it seems that my guesses were correct. I am talking to a Morgan Freeman ghost. Wait? Did you come from the Ouija board that I did with Neon and the other guys? If you are, then I will have to burn that dam board.”
Then Morgan Freeman said to me, “No you fucking dumbass. Every time you fucking black out, I narrate the parts that is worth to mention, or important to the plot of your life. However, since some of those parts that you weren’t there for, I either have to narrate, or some weird ass white guy that doesn’t have a name comes and randomly narrates! Besides, it’s my fucking job.”
Then I said to Mr. Freeman, “Wait, my entire life had a plot? I thought it was just a bunch of random adventures put together that I had, while discovering the really important shit behind me at the same time?”
Then Freeman said to me, “No you idiot! Maybe if you didn’t always say the word ‘fuck’ and stopped smoking weed and shit, maybe you would have realized that your life is a plot! I mean, have you ever seen the connecting between each adventure that you have had? They are connect to something a little bit, but you sit there, smoking your white guy weed, and don’t pay attention a dam thing!”
I was then a bit surprised by that, and shit. I mean, I didn’t realize that my life was an entire plot of something.
Then Morgan said, “You know, I can still hear you what you say in your head whatever you write down in that fancy white guy book of yours.”
Then I said, “Well then, maybe you should mine your own business then.”
Then Morgan said, and a pissed off way of course, “Well, you know what!? I don’t have to do this! I have so many other job opportunities out there that needs some narrating done, however, I choose not to do so and stick with this! You want me to fucking leave and leave you with that one random white guy that doesn’t even narrate good or make any jokes at all, and he doesn’t even have a name!?”
I then was a bit scared of Freeman leaving and I didn’t want the white to be the only narrator here. So I said, “No. No, I rather prefer you then the white guy. When does he come and narrate anyway? I believe I might’ve heard him once…I think?”
Then Morgan Freeman says, ‘Well, apparently the white guy comes in whenever the fuck he feels likes it.
He’s a real asshole too. I have met him before, and he is lazy. Even more then you.
Well then, I just wanted to let know that I just finished narrating that Dead Hobo Body’s life segment, so don’t fucking bug me to do anymore narrations.” Then I was a bit confused on what he just said.
So I said, “But, Mr. Freeman, I don’t choose you. In fact, I randomly black out at weird and awkward times. So, I can’t really do anything about it.”
Then Morgan Freeman said, “Really!? It aint’ you!? Well… fuck! Looks like I have to figure out who is doing it then. Know what? I just figured out who it is. It’s the dam universe.”
I then had an agreeing face on. I then said, “Yup, I defiantly agree with you, 100% it really sounds like the universe’s work of shit that it does. Why the fuck she even she chose the universe to do some work, I don’t even know? Also, it’s been a while since I’ve heard anything about the universe. I mean, the last thing that it made me do was that time when I was re-doing or reenacting I should say, the Friendship Is Magic’s Season three-finale episode. In other words, what Twilight went through? Well, actually, take that back, it was the Season four finale one. It’s been a long time. I think six or seven years I believe since I heard from it? Well, whom the fuck cares. He isn’t a bother to me anymore. Although, I still hate the universe for what it did to me and shit. That asshole of a universe. Well, have a nice night Morgan Freeman.”
Then, Morgan Freeman was gone. I honestly don’t know what happened that night, but whatever it was, it was Morgan Freeman’s ghost for sure.
His ghost was flowering me around everywhere I go, and narrate my life. Just like the Penguins. Well, anyways, as I was saying about the EverFree Forest thing.
After I said…what I said back there, Neon said to me, “Oh, it’s not a dead body Knight. Although, I already have a new dead body to replace the old one, who was a traitor and it turned out to be that evil hamster.”
Then I turned around and stared at Neon. I was a bit curious and suspicious at what Neon was saying.
I then said to Neon, “It’s not a dead body? Are you sure you’re not trying to pull a trolling prank here? I mean, if Wolf put you up to this? whatever he offered you, I’ll make a better one for you if you can help me get back at him for what he did last time.”
Then Neon said to me, while putting his face really close to my face, with, what I swear is to be the smallest eye pupils you will ever see on a living thing in your life.
That and a creepy smile as well. He said, “Oh, I wouldn’t be trolling you. Besides, if I was, then I would send an army of trolls that have the internet troll faces on to attack Ponyville.”
I then had a ‘What the Fuck’ look on my face and was confused at the same time. I then asked Neon, “Do you ?”
Then Neon said very quickly to me, “Yup!”
Then, which I didn’t see behind him, was a cage full of trolls with wooden clubs. They also had those troll faces on from the internet.
Neon opened the cage. To which then Neon said to them, “Attack Ponyville my trolls! Attack, and have no mercy!”
Then, the trolls didn’t step out of the cage, but they started to play dubstep and shit.
That and one of them were a DJ and an Elvis Troll. Then Neon looked at it for a second and then said, “Wait. This isn’t the right trolls. I went to the wrong universe. Well then, it looks like I’ll have to go to the correct universe next time. Perhaps the correct trolls are at is where a universe is where the trolls are fucking goats under a bridge. That and hot dogs are flying in space while turkeys kill the pilgrims and fuck a beer can.”
Then I started at Neon and said, “What the fuck are you talking about Neon?”
Then, Neon’s response was, “black chicken. Anyways, it looks like I have to break the bad news to Mac about the trolls.”
I then asked, “What bad news?”
Neon’s response was, “he helped pitch in and built the cage for the trolls. He was really hoping that the trolls would kill his cousin Applejack. OH well, as I was saying before the trolls happened, nope, I am not pulling a prank on you Knight. It’s the honest Truth. In fact, I Neon promise it.”
I then asked, “What’s a Neon promise?”
Then Neon said, “Well, a Neon promise is simple. I cross my heart and hope to fuck a dogs ass. Then I stick a knife in M. A. Larson’s eye’s and forever to on Neon’s shit list. That, and if you want to, I guess you could add pinkie’s promise, to have a balance between mine’s and hers.”
I then said to Neon, “You are one fucked up pony Neon.”
Then Neon said, “I know. I even won the most awards back on Planet Random, for being the most fucked up piece of shit ever. Besides, I have to keep my promise. It’s a planet Random Code. If I brake, I will have my powers stripped away from me and I have fly and stick a cupcake in my eyes. Anyways, could help me show my friend around town.”
Then I said, for once being happy for Neon, that it wasn’t a random dead body this time. That Neon just brutally killed for no reason at all.
I even had a bit of a smile on face. Neon was starting to rehabilitate. I then said, “Well then. Since this is the first time it’s a normal friend of yours, I guess I wouldn’t mind help showing your friend around a very shitty town.”
Then Neon said to me, “Well then. I am very glad to hear that Knight. Knight, I would like for you to meet my alternate universe self!”
Then other Neon came out of the shadows, with the same creepy smile as Neon has and smallest fucking pupils you will ever see. I then stood there, mouth completely opened, and eye’s wide as they could be.
I was shocked that there was, standing in front of me, two Neon’s. I thought this would never happen. In fact, I thought it was the apocalypse.
Then again, Neon breaking the fourth wall, which destroys the universe. Therefore, I then asked the real Neon, although, I was a bit confused. I mean, it’s two identical Neon’s standing right in front of me, so I couldn’t tell them apart.
It’s like Asians and blacks. You can never tell them apart, other than the chicks though. With them, you could tell them apart very easily, but with the males of black and Asians.
Along with Jews, you can never really tell them apart. I mean, I know plenty of you out there are right now, burning the book that I have written in, because of that racist joke.
However, you know, deep down inside you, even if you don’t feel it a tiny bit. You know it’s true.
So, as I was saying, I asked the real Neon, or at least I think it was the real Neon. Now that I’m thinking about it.
Now I’m scared right now. Did we get rid of the real Neon or the other neon? Fucking it man, it’s just like the end of episode three of season three of My Little Pony.
You don’t exactly know, even though it is, the real Pinkie Pie. I mean, it could be a fake. Maybe the real Pinkie Pie had ADHD.
Maybe see couldn’t concentrate on the pink paint drying, and got distracted when Rainbow Dash made a fake distraction. Who knows, maybe Pinkie is a Retard, but a very smart retard. I mean, it’s like the matrix.
Then again, I’m sure it was the real pinkie…I hope. Maybe the very poor dumb conspiracy theorist could handle it.
Maybe those people that says that… well, Osama isn’t dead yet. Maybe those type of conspiracy theorists need to handle this, so they can be distracted while we poor the poison in their morning coffee.
Then, the world will be at peace. Along with Muslims still being stupid retards and trying to fuck America over, even though, what’s the point at beating a dead horse? It’s not like they are going to get free gold or an original idea for something.
Nope, not at all. Well, anyways, I asked, what I think I thought who the real Neon was, “Neon? Tell me exactly where you found him at, so I can destroy whatever brought him here. However, if it is a certain somebody, then tell me who it is, so I can rip his lungs out, take his skull, and take a piss in it. Then I’ll get a fucking buffalo, and make it take a diarrhea shit all over in his ear. Then I’ll make him eat a rotten asshole of a road killed skunk, and then make him down it with beer. Then, he’ll know true pain. Right Angry Video Game nerd?”
Then, James Rolfe just happens to be there, and for once, I didn’t question why he was there, and I just took it.
James said, “You bet your fucking ass you’re fucking right! Make that asshole pay for making to mother fucking Neon’s! I’ll rip his ball sack off and I’ll throw an F-bomb a here and a bit there! He will pay and Mecca-death-Christ will pay! That piece of fucking son of a bitch dog shit! Fuck it! Even that one guy that lives behind my fucking couch doesn’t even like it! Right that one guy that lives behind my couch!?”
Then that guy that lives behind his couch said, “I have a name you know?”
Then Angry Video Game nerd continue to say, “You see!? He is also fucking pissed off, more than a dolphin, fucking a dog that had a bad day bringing out the fucking dam garbage. Moreover, that garbage has horrible things in it! As in, your sisters throw her used tampons inside it. Then, your drunken brother, pissed-ass drunk, upchucks and pukes all over inside.
Then, your mom cleans out the cat litter box. Moreover, that bag had some fresh cat shit and it still has the fresh shit smell as well. That dolphin was pissed off from taking out that trash bag, and that’s why it fucked that dog so hard, he ripped him in half! Then, he started to sing the, ‘I want to fuck a dog’ song.”
Then He continued to yell, “We’re not fucking around! We ain’t fucking around!! We’re not fucking around!!! Shit pickle! That one guy that lives right behind my couch! We shall charge and kill this asshole whoever made two Neons! Charge!!!”
Then, Angry Video Game Nerd, that one guy who lives behind his couch, and shit pickle, ran away and never came back.
Well, he technically came back, but he did come back, but that was years later. Although, I do wonder what happened to him. He possibly went back to his universe and continued to play shitty video games while forgetting that he ever did this. Chances are, that’s what happened.
Then again, I could be wrong, but I don’t feel like having another black out right now. Therefore, that’s what happened with that.
Although, he did curse a lot, even more then how much I do. It’s like, he’s the curse king or something.
Then again, even in the main theme song, it does says that he does curse, and he is angry, so no excuse.
Besides, it’s funny for a bit, but after a while it gets old pretty quick. However, it’s still entertaining though to watch.
Well, I then said, “Well then. didn’t expect that to happen maybe it was something that flowered me from Planet Random.
Well, anyways Neon, where did you get him from?”
Then Neon said, “Well, for starters, nobody made him.”
Then I had a very disappointing look on my face. Said, “Dam it. I was really hoping it was somebody that I could kill today. I mean, I made new weapons and I could really test on some pony. However, I guess it doesn’t matter, but where did you get him from?”
Then Neon said, “Simple. I found a small ball of light somewhere deep inside the Everfree Forest, and I took a closer look and examined. Then, the small ball of light turned into a big alternate universe portal for a second or two and he came through the portal. Chances are, he was looking at the portal as well in the alternate universe, which is most likely to happen, because the small ball of light only opens up when there’s two living things right by it. and once someone or something comes through it, it closes and doesn’t do so until the same situation happens again.”
I was a bit surprised that Neon knew that. I mean, it sounded as if he was a scientific expert on this small ball of light things.
Speaking of balls of light, remember that ball of light that I saw one night in the woods somewhere in Tennessee?
That one place back on earth where I had a boring life? Well, at the time, something gave me idea that Neon was behind the ball of light thing.
Although, I have no evidence to support that hypotheses, but still. So, I just stood there, looking in awe at Neon, even when he was finished explaining to me how he found the other Neon at, as he knew this much information.
In addition, for once, he didn’t sound like a crazy psychopath. He sounded like a reasonable intelligent being of shit.
Then, after a while, as if I think ten seconds or something, the other Neon told Neon something. Well, it was more of a weird question at the time.
Whatever, he said, “Uhhhhh…Neon? Do you realize who that is? Do you realize that right in front of you right now is some pony that you should be giving your respects to right? I mean, he is right here. I mean, you…an average pony, know him. how did you two get to be friends?”
I was then sitting there, in confusion, as to what just happened there. I mean, does he know I am? I mean, what the fuck was he even talking about? I mean, I was just sitting there, with a confused, ‘What The Fuck’ face on me.
Then Neon said to other Neon, “Don’t worry, he isn’t who you know it is…yet. Don’t worry, even he doesn’t know who is.
Besides, we’re friends because Princess Celestia sent him to Stalia to make friends and be part of the Elements of Protection and shit.”
First off, he stole my line. That shit part is my thing and my thing only. Second, I forgot to mention that other Neon said he was an average pony. Yes, he’s anything but average.
I mean, of all the things that Neon has done, there is no fucking way in hell he is average. Third, at the time, I didn’t know what Neon was saying that I don’t know who I was yet.
In fact, it kind of scared me. I didn’t know at the time, so a lot of shit was going through my mind, moving around almost faster than the speed of light.
Therefore, I decided to push that weird part of our conversation away for awhile and just shrug it off and worry about it later.
Therefore, I then returned my attention back to the task at hand here and had a pissed off face.
I then said as I turned to face myself the direction to go home, “Neon. You are insane. There is no fucking dam way in fucking hell that I am going to show the other Neon around our town and friends. In fact, for once, I’m going to do something smart for once, and do what Twilight would do, if she was in my situation. I will go to Twilight and see if she can’t figure anything out on how to bring the other Neon back to his own universe. Ok? I don’t need this shit right now.”
Then Neon and other Neon started to follow me and we walked while talking. Then Neon said, “Oh. Come on Knight, it will be fun. I mean, it’s an alternate universe version of me, your good friend Neon. That and you like that kind of shit.”
I then still had an angry face on and shit. I then replied, “Yea, I do Neon. However, I only like it when it does not deal with your crazy ass. Moreover, when I mean by that, I mean by any thing is what I like to deal with the universe, except for you Neon. I mean, this is not good Neon. For as long as I know you, you are one crazy son of a bitch. You can’t also control yourself and you get carried away sometimes. That, and there’s the fact that you are also random. Therefore, this isn’t the fun as been doubled, but this is worse. There is no fun in this Neon. In fact, this is hell. In addition, since life is hell, well, Hell has doubled. Double trouble if you ask me. Although, that was pretty weak.”
Then Neon said, “Well, you have been saying things Knight that has been pretty weak.”
I then got my concentration off the two Neon’s problem and onto my weak shit. I then said to Neon, “No I haven’t I have been saying good things. I mean, I know from time to time that I say weak things. In fact, I admit it, however, lately; I have been saying good things. That’s the fact here, and nothing more needs to be said.”
Then Neon said, “Knight, it’s ok to admit it that you are weak at saying things. I mean, every pony is weak at something. There is no need to deny it.”
I then was started to be aggregated with Neon I then told Neon, “Neon, I am not denying anything. If any pony here is denying something, it’s you. You can’t admit that you are crazy and you need help. I mean, for starts, you need an intervention first, and then get help. And I also mean all the kinds of help.”
Then Neon said, “Knight, I don’t need any help. Although I do thank you for caring about me. I mean, the one who needs help is Kevin Bacon. She needs the most help here. Not me.”
I then said to Neon, “Well, I do agree with you on that part. He does need help. I mean, that nose of his needs help, but then again, I’m sure that dancing that he did for Footloose was enough for us to forgive him. I mean, it was a good movie.
Although the remake to that wasn’t that great as the original, but still good to watch.”
I Neon said to me, “Exactly.”
Then, I was about to continue to talk, but I realized our surroundings. I then said, “Why are we in Cantorlot Castle. That and why are we in Luna’s room.”
Then Luna was right behind us, in her own room, while holding a hairbrush with her magic. She said, “Yes. I certainly agree with Knight here. Why are you gentlecolts here? why are there two identical ponies here as well. That, and how did you three get pass the royal guards?” I too sometimes question that. In fact, it was scary. I mean, you’re at home, and your best friend is play a game. Perhaps the Play station one or Nintendo 64 consol, and you are about to leave and go to Pittsburg. Then you say you say good bye to your friend for a bit. Then you two start a little conversation about the three stooges and you both talk while you get in a car something. Then, you talk for a bit, and then you ask yourself, “Wait. Why are we in Washington D.C.?”
yea, that is scary, because you are not pay any attention to where you’re going. Pretty fucking scary indeed, if you ask me. Anyways, Neon said to Luna, “Well, we don’t know. Although, it was fun getting through the guards.”
I was a bit afraid now. I mean, Neon knew what happened. I mean, did we kill the guards or something? I mean, Neon’s ‘fun’ is killing other ponies and shit. That and other shit.
I was really trying to push that intervention for neon at the time. Then Luna asked, “Should I or my sister be worried about this Knight?”
I then said to Luna, “No, you don’t have to worry. I have it all under control here. You shouldn’t have to worry one bit. Just, go back to raising the moon or whatever you were doing. In fact, it looks like you were in the bathroom doing something. In fact, I don’t want to know what you were doing. We’ll be on our way.”
Then, we started to walk on our way back to Stalia or Ponyville it was, but still. However, as I was walking out, Luna closed the bathroom door. However, I am quite disturbed about this, but when I left, I heard a buzzing sound coming from the bathroom.
We all know what it is, however, I like to pretend that I didn’t know what it was. Now that I mention it, I have a very dirty image in my mind about how she’s doing it. I mean, it could even make a good clop story for the Bronies.
God, I don’t want to think that ever again. I mean, it seems to me that Luna is desperate to be fucked. Then again what other alicorn is there? Then again, she could just get married to a unicorn of her choice.
However, I could understand her why she needs a dildo to masturbate to. I mean, if you’re a ruler of something, or just famous, you’ve got to know who is really your friend, and how is after you to get your money or your power.
It makes sense, and, I don’t judge Luna for using a buzzer, but that picture just gives me the chills.
Just seeing her to that is like a nightmare to me. Maybe that is why her evil counterpart or that dark side of her I should say is called Nightmare moon.
Makes sense to me. Well, then me and Neon started to have a conversation once again while we walked back to town.
I said to Neon, “Well then. That was a bit scary.” Then Neon asked, “How so?” then I was a bit shocked. I mean, shouldn’t Neon be an intelligent being. I mean, he did crate the fucking universe.
Nevertheless, at the same time, there is sort of a theory where I forgot the name. It goes like this.
The Universe crated Neon so it can crate it, so it can Create Neon so it can crate Neon so it could create it and then crate Neon. In addition, it goes like that forever. I don’t quite understand it, because, well, it’s like which came first?
The chicken or the egg? It’s like that, because we will really never which came first. Then again, sometimes scientists do say that the Chicken came first.
But, how was it created then? It’s kind of like who crated god. By the way, if you like Lauren Faust’s OC pony, thank Neon for creating it. It just came to me, that when Neon created the universe, he also created Fausticorn, who is currently is god right now in this universe.
Therefore, of course you all must be thinking right now in your disgusted, confused, fucked up mines, that Neon is the grandfather of Celestia and Luna.
I mean, if he did create god, then that mean he is father of Fausticorn and is royalty. Yea let me help you and clear those sick and confused minds of yours. He’s not actually.
You see, the key word here, is ‘currently’. Now, that means something. Of course, I would say it, but you all know the drill by now.
So, anyways, as I was saying, that Neon asked ‘How so?’. Well, I then replied with, “Neon. You should be afraid of what happened, even though you knew that we were traveling in that direction. This also makes me more scared of you, but still. That we are too busy talking, that we just end up somewhere else. Fuck it man, we could end up in pure molten lava and we wouldn’t notice it. I mean, we could end up being mugged and we wouldn’t know anything about it. In fact, it kind of reminds me that time when me, Jack, and Mac had that hangover of ours and we didn’t know what happened.”
Then Neon then had a disappointed, sad face expression.
When I noticed it, I then asked, “What’s wrong Neon? I mean, the only other time when I saw you sad like that is when those sick minds of those blue racist flowers took away your powers.”
Then Neon said to me, “Well when you talked about your hangover, I’m just so sad that I didn’t get to see you, Classy Jack, and Mac Farmer try to piece together what happened. I mean, I was in the hospital because you knocked me and the head with a wooden chair and was in a comma. I didn’t get to see all the fun that happened to you guys.”
I then blanked out in my mind for a moment, trying to piece things together as quickly as possible. I then had a fucking pissed off face.
I then asked Neon in an annoyed tone, “Neon? Are you saying to me, this entire fucking time, that you reified us! I mean, I fucking punished Wolf for doing that shit to us, by not letting him get molested by Princess Molestia for one night!”
I mean it man. I did punish Wolf, and he was begging to get molested by Princess Molestia. I mean, I pretty much found out one of his weaknesses. Princess Molestia.
It’s like, Wolf really wants to fuck or have sex or something. Then again, he isn’t a teenager, so it just means he’s a sex addict. A sex addict made out of wood.
Well then, that makes sense, but unfortunately, there’s no type of cure for it. Well, I think there is, but I never really looked into the whole thing, so clearly, I don’t give a fuck.
I mean, Wolf can go fuck a tree since it’s wood for all I care. So frankly, I don’t care about Wolf being a sex addict.
If he doesn’t get to fuck something, I didn’t care. Anyways, Neon then said to me, “Of course you son of a bitch! I always do something that will end up screwing your life, even it means if it scares you for life silly billy. I mean, what do you think what I do to my victims?”
I then had shocked eyes on what I heard. I then said, “I don’t want to know Neon.”
Then Neon said to me, “I make their life’s a living hell. By flowering them, scaring them and even haunting them in their dreams! However, I do so much more then that to make their life’s a living hell. In fact, I ruin it, by killing all their loved ones, even their children. However, that’s only if I want them as a victim. As for you fucker, you and our other friends are on my good side, so I don’t kill them. However, I do have a little fun with them though. Unless of course they are up to my level of randomness. I mean, you might get their one-day Knight. Moreover, when that does eventually happens, we can haunt our victims together! I mean, why do you think I am so friendly with your pal Wolf?”
First off, I never noticed that Neon and Wolf was such best pals, however, it rather makes sense.
They are both a little bit a like, but in different ways though. For instance, Wolf is a troll who is a sex addict and is an asshole, and can be annoying at times.
However, he is still a great guy to be friends with. With Neon, he is random as fuck. I don’t understand him. He creeps me the fuck out.
He get’s annoying at times when he bugs me. like that time when I was just trying to read the dam newspaper, and he just kept using different voices and played with his hoof and put it in a sock and shit.
Like, those sock puppet shows, except he didn’t have a sock on. In fact, he just played with his hoof, used different voices, and used it as if it was talking to me.
That, and everything ended up with Neon eventually giving up on bugging me, throwing me a decapitate head of some pony that was witness of to his amazing powers of randomness.
That and it turns out that my friends were dicking around near the Everfree Forest, and eventually Neon made a giant turtle with sunglasses appear from out of nowhere.
Then the giant turtle started to talk and it said to itself that it was cool and shit. That and killing many Everfree Forest animals.
In addition, there was a witness to this crime that of Neon did, and that pony was going to tell Princess Celestia, but my friends killed him. Then we ended up burning the corpse and shit.
Then Neon continued to bug me. That and I found out Wolf also killed and decapitated other ponies, but only when he was in trouble with them, as in, ‘you don’t pay me back for the money that you owe me for the weed, I’ll kill you’. Not the cartel type of way, but the black guy in the hood type of way.
I don’t know what I was talking about, but yea. Anyways, so how the fuck does Wolf and Neon are alike.
They both annoy the FUCK out of me from time to time. yup, nothing like a good ol’ bugging to get me piss at you. In addition, I’m believe it or not, but at the time, I was actually started to feel like embracing the Planet Random thing.
Mostly to get Neon off my back, but I believe when I had the power to do random shit, that and along with the floating Nixon head as a pet, I started to feel like a native to that planet.
Like, I was one of them, felt like being random, and shit. In addition, I wouldn’t dare go and kill innocent ponies with Wolf and Neon. Although, if there was a purpose to it, I might.
Anyways, I then shrugged it off a bit and went back to Neon is responsible for Jack’s, Mac’s hangover, and me.
I then said to Neon, “Well then. It seems that I punished the wrong guy for responsible for the hangover. Then again, I guess you do have an excuse, for you are random, and there is no cure for it, except for maybe an intervention and killing you. Although, trying to kill you are like a big ol’ suicide mission. It’s like you’re a crazy, psychopathic, high, high on crack, weird superman type thingy pony. I don’t know what I just said, but there’s the truth about you Neon. It might never hurt you, but it hurts to those who actually cares about you. And apparently, no one gives cares about you.”
Then Neon then said to me, “Oh silly retarded Knight. Don’t you know anything? Then again, you don’t know do you? Well, you miss understood on what I meant. I never caused the hangover for you, Classy Jack, and Mac Farmer. Wolf one-hundred percent caused it, however, I’m the one who provided the reifies for him. In fact, I gave him the date rape drug free, just because I wanted to see what you guys would do under the influence of it. That, and see how you guys handle the after effects of it. I didn’t get to see the after effects of it, but Wolf told me, on what you told Wolf. I have to admit, it was one funny prank, wasn’t it Knight?”
I then had a straight face on and thought to myself, ‘That isn’t a prank. That was hell for the others and me. You sick twisted fucker.’
In addition, I was also a bit relieved that I didn’t mistakenly punished the one responsible for it.
Although, if to say a god like being did make me and my friends have a hangover, I would not have any chance at punishing it, for it would be almost impossible.
I mean, to say if my life was written out as a Fan Fiction story of some sort, I would be fucked and wouldn’t want to meet the god that created me. I just had a chill go down my spine, because I feel that might be a bit true, but then again, whom the fuck cares. Well, anyways, I was a bit confused on to what Neon meant that he gave Wolf the drug free.
That and why did Neon used the nickname to the drug. It is starting to scare me a bit. Is his slowly gaining knowledge will kill us all? Now I am starting to think of the Planet of the Apes here.
Well, whatever, although I was still curious of to which what Neon meant have to giving Wolf the drug free. I then asked Neon, “Neon, what do you mean that you gave Wolf the drug for free?”
Then Neon had was still smiling, even though he was still having a smile throughout our conversation.
Neon said to me, “Well, don’t you know that I’m a drug smuggler and a drug dealer?”
Then I had a surprise look on my face. I could not believe that Neon also sold drugs. I wish I would’ve known before I wasted all of my fucking time trying to harvest my own weed I mean, do you know how fucking hard it is?
I mean, for one thing, I’m not a gardener. I can’t do jack shit with plants. Then it’s also a bitch to water those bastards, because I end up either over watering them or not giving them enough water.
It’s sort of a bitch to do it. I mean, I know I have my hose, although, I still don’t know where that hose came from. I mean, when I was sent to Stalia to make friend ordered by Celestia, and when she got me that.
Which, I still believe to this day that she didn’t try her best to get me the best possible fucking house there is that isn’t a library.
I’m sorry, but whatever that you might believe in, I just have to call bullshit on it, because Celesita could’ve done better. I mean, I even saw better places that were more awesome and better to live at that were for fucking sale! Fuck it man, I even might recall that one or two of them were better for your health.
Then again, I’m not a forty-seven year old chick that complains about everything and believes whatever is said on television. Makes a whole lot of sense.
Anyways, even though I don’t know where that fucking hose came from, or that trunk that I mysteriously had in my house that one time. Although, funny thing to mention, after the events from our hangover after effect, I went to put things in that trunk.
However, when I went back, the trunk wasn’t there anymore. I mean, I didn’t move it or anything, nor did Wolf move it or anybody. That or anything. I ‘m starting to get a bit scared now.
I mean, sure, chances are Neon took it or maybe Poker did when he got his suit back, but there were no broken doors or anything. That or it could be the universe, but at the same time, there is really no hard evidence supporting such a theory. Anyways, it’s really hard to grow the weed, because, well, sometimes the hose is a piece of fucking shit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. That and I have no idea where the garden is.
I mean, Celestia did tell me that the place did came with a little gardening area somewhere in the back or the dies…I think that’s what she said.
I don’t know, because I looked from top to bottom and pretty much looked at every square inch of the place, but no garden. Who knows, maybe the previous had one, but had too many dead bodies buried in it, so he just destroyed it and put more dirt on top to cover it up.
That or maybe it is a really shitty creepy pasta. Just a thought perhaps, but, whatever, just saying.
However, how did I manage to try to grow my own weed then you might ask…even though chances are, you’re not asking because you don’t give two shits about it.
Well, I’ll say it anyways, that, well, I have a little inside garden. You know, in the pots and shit. Along with a UV light, type thingy and shit. You know the basics on how to take care of a fucking plant.
That, and sometimes I can flood my house a bit, because, well, I tell Wolf to keep an eye when the water has been on for about a minute or two, but he ends up smoking weed and leaving it on and the place floods a bit.
That and we just end up having a whale in the house. Do not ask where it came from, because have no idea where.
That and I believe I have found the whale that swallowed Jonas from the bible stories. Either it’s from a universe where Christianity isn’t completely bullshit or we actually have proof that the bible wasn’t trolling or being bullshit.
For evidence that I might have, I have a dead body, holding a bible, that looks like from the old bible days of how people dressed up and shit. That and it was in a praying position and shit.
He also had some sort of sack that carried something to a place where shit and shit. Well, to tell you the truth, when I was a human back on Earth, I never really read the bible or prayed any sort of attention church, because I was paying attention in my own mind or was sleeping.
Fuck it man, I really don’t know any bible stories completely, other than the rare mostly known basics of it.
I wasn’t An Atheist for that matter, because, well, I was brought up in a christen family and got christen related shit when I was young, but I didn’t pay any attention to it.
although, if you do wonder, if the thing was only supposed to be watered for like two or three minutes, then why didn’t I just stay there until it was done? Listen, I have a busy schedule of smoking weed.
I mean, if I don’t smoke my weed at a certain time, then nothing happens and I’m just being a lazy pony, aren’t I? Well, anyways, since that’s out, I then asked Neon, “Neon, how did you become a drug smuggler? In addition, for that matter, how does Wolf get drugs for you. I mean, I’ve been in your room, like, three or four times bu now, or that, that does seem pretty shitty to me, but still. I have not seen a single place where you would hide your drugs? Where do you put them at?”
Then Neon looked at me once again with a very creepy smile on his face. You know that smile. That one smile that Pinkie Pie from Cupcakes gives. You know.
The one where she has a butcher knife in her hooves and it has blood on it and she’s about to kill you and you slowly start to have nightmares about it.
Then you start to develops psychological problems and you end it up almost committing suicide sorry, once again, just saying something that I have done in my past. Dam it, a creepy, bloody, face Neon smile is more creepy then cupcakes. If Neon is insane when normal, imagine if you make the veil insane version of him. You no longer have a monster on the loose, but creepy pasta.
Anyways, Neon then said to me, “Well, I do certainly hide them in my room, but that’s just for the quick costumers who wants it, or when I ever want to sell it around town… OR ON THE GO!”
I swear the Neon was like wearing a bicycle when he was saying on the go part.
Well, then Neon continue to say, “You see Knight. My main business is on Planet Random. I mean Wolf should know it.”
yea, and Wolf does know what Neon was talking about. I mean, I was a bit confused on what Neon was saying, but I had talked to Wolf about it, and he explained it all to me.
So, let me give you what I saw through one of those portal timing thingies or whatever they are called or whatever I called them.
I’m sorry, but it’s the middle of the night and I am really fucking high right now. Where is that guard with my ink?
Anyways, as I was saying once before, I saw what the normal routine is. Therefore, basically, whenever I am on a random adventure or really fucking high off my ass and I’m not doing anything for Celestia or Twilight.
That or doing something with my friends for that matter, Wolf sneaks out of the house. Then, he goes into the party shop. Then he asks the chick owner of the shop, or in other words, or in other words, this town’s Mrs. Cake, “Hey, is Neon here?”
Then that chick would say, “Yes. I believe is he working up stairs in his room.”
Then Wolf would go up the stairs, looking nervous and shit. He also looks around him, to make sure no one has followed him or anything. Then, he knocks on the door three times.
Then, the door automatically unlocks itself. Yes, let me explain.
Apparently, Neon is so fucking smart that he was able to come up with a lock device for his door that you can secretly unlock by knocking on his door three times if you’re a friend of his. How that fucking works, I don’t know, but, really, do you really want to know? Alternatively, do you want to find out the hard cold scary truth about it?
Well, anyways, Wolf then opens the door and slowly walks in. then he shuts the door quietly. Then, he sees Neon doing…Neon shit. That or partying and saying ‘Woo Hoo!’ like Daffy Duck from Loony Tunes from the old days.
However, he’s partying while saying it in his room, along with his pet. Yes, I can’t believe it myself. Neon has a fucking pet and I thought he was unsuitable to be a pet owner.
Well, anyways, he owns a snake that is very Poisonous to humans, but to most ponies, it’s harmless.
Now, keep in mind, I said most ponies. That’s the keyword here people, and it might kill some others, so yea.
Well, he was partying and shit, then Wolf went up to Neon, even though Neon noticed him and didn’t stop partying until he asked.
Wolf asked, “Hey. Neon. Do you have any drugs man?”
Wolf also said this in a quiet whisper has he was doing so. Anyways, Neon then said, “Wait for a moment please.”
Then, he stops partying and then transports Wolf to the hood in Planet Random.
Then Wolf would be in front of a dark alleyway, which would mostly be a home to rapists, which just want to rape.
However, it’s just a natural thing that the rapist does. It’s the natural thing to defend itself…somehow. Well, that’s what Neon told me, because I know jack shit about Planet Random.
Anyways, Neon would be in the dark shadows of the very dark alleyway that would be filled with rapists.
Then Neon would come out of the shadows, dressed up like a black guy that would be in the hood, selling crack. He even had that coat that you could multiple things inside of it, like drugs, or black drugs. Like crack.
So, Neon would then ask Wolf, “So, you came to the right place. What are you looking on buying?”
then Wolf would ask, “Do…d…do you have anything man!?”
Wolf would studier a bit, but only because he was on drugs. You get it. Neither did i. Now, Then Neon would then say to Wolf, “Yea man. I got all the good stuff. I got your AIDS, Cancer, Crack, Weed, Dr. Pepper, Coca-Cola, Reese Witherspoon, Robin Williams, and your Obama and mama.”
I do have to agree with Neon, even if he is being very weird and usually, I would not like it.
However, I do agree with him. Those are drugs. Some very bad drugs, which even I took. Let us just say, it ruins your life when you take a Reese Witherspoon.
I mean, she is just…I don’t want to go into details.
Just stick to weed kids. It will be better for you in the end. Then Wolf would ask, “S…s…s…so, d..do you have m..my drug pack?”
Then Neon would slide back into the dark alley where the friendly rapists would be at, and come back into the light with a drug case called, ‘Wolf’s Pack’.
Then Neon would open it, and Neon would show Wolf the drugs. That, or is preferred drugs that he likes the best.
Then Neon would say, “I’ve got it all right here. I got your LSD, Mud, Some Random White people that will either get you high you die. A Midget. Cat piss. A retarded squirrel. Your mama. Some random thing that I have no idea if it’s a drug or not. Some guys spine. Weed, crack, more weed, and snoop dog’s ‘special weed.’ As for the special weed, with hard to get it from him as usual.”
Yea, what Neon meant by that was smoking weed and hanging out with snoop dog and stealing snoop dog’s secret recipe for his good awesome weed.
Then Wolf would say, “tha..th…thanks man. I need this stuff man. S..s..so how much is this going t..t..to cost me?”
Then Neon would say still in a gritty Client Eastwood voice, “Depends on how much you got?”
Then Wolf would say, “I’ve got some lint and pubic hair.”
Then Neon would say, “Nice trading with you buddy. I could defiantly trade the child molester down by the park to see if he could trade me some ‘corn flake crack crap’. Now get out of here, you’re scaring away my costumers. That…and we never met.”
Then Wolf would be transported back to Equestria, with his drugs, which I was very much unaware of because, well, how the fuck do I know what Wolf does when I’m never around?
Then, Jamie Fox would walk up to Neon, and yes, this is the real Jamie Fox that we all know and love. That one black guy, that does movie shit.
Then he walk up to Neon and ask, “Hey Neon. What’s up?”
Then Neon would say, “Nothing much. Just doing the usual stuff, sell drugs, be random, eat a chick’s baby and shit out gold. The usual stuff. So, how’s the wife and kids?”
Then Jamie would say, “Neon, you know that I don’t give two fucks about them. I mean, I beat my wife to a bloody pulp every day until she makes me the good kind of fish sticks and rape my children. I mean, you always try to make me laugh. And you know what? You do a good job at that. So, anyway, do you have that famous Wolf pack for me?”
Then Neon would go back into the dark alley with the friendly rapist and pull out a Wolf Pack.
Then he would show him the drugs and give it to him. Then Neon would say, “This shit has been selling very fast. You’re lucky, because this was the last one that I have for right now. However, I’ve got some new stuff that you might want to try out while you wait for more shipments of the Wolf Pack.”
Then Jamie would take the Wolf Pack and ask, “What is it?”
Then Neon would say, “Well, it depends. Do you want to learn something about friendship?”
Then Neon would take out a bunch of those small figurine pony figures. You know? The one that they sell at Hot Topic, and to be just specific, it’s the Neon color ones. To be quite honest with you, even I don’t understand how this is supposed to get you high.
However, I have taken it myself before, and my god, you would have the best time of your life if you took it. I mean, you guys are just missing out. I mean, this shit is better than weed or golden weed. Man, only if you were here, however, I don’t give two shits if you’re not here, so fuck you.
Anyways, then Jamie would say, “Sure. I would not mind taking some of those during my working hours. Besides, why did you think I said something good about Obama that one time.”
Then Neon would ask, “Herpes?”
Then Jamie then would say, “Close. I was pretty much on drugs. Although, when I’m ever beating my wife because she didn’t get me the right kind of fish sticks, then it’s because of herpes.”
I could imagine a heart-filled commercial, where Jamie is just beating his wife senselessly and to a bloody pulp. Then, there would be a message saying, ‘Herpes. Please donate so we can find a cure, so black people will stop abusing black chicks.
It is very important that you do so, because these are endangered species of wildlife, and we hope you that you find it, deep within your heart, that you might donate some money and we will end up ripping you off.
If you’re not sold, then look at this sad pictures of sad dogs and cats that may or may not be abused. Go on, look the sad dogs and cats and give us all your money you fucking peasant. You son of a bitch. You fucking asshole. You deadbeat, son of a bitch, ass lick, shit whipping, monkey jerking, mother fucker, give us your money now you little bitch. ’
So, you’re feeling bad, then donate, so we can stop this problem, of black guys beating black chick to death, with a black guy baseball bat, which is also sold separately. Give us money or we'll find you and break your legs like a Jew on Saturday.’
Yea, I have a weird mind, but you get used to it after a while. Anyways, as I was saying, then Jamie would leave and Neon would be all along.
As if he was that forever alone meme, but we all know that, he isn’t. Then Neon would say aloud to himself, “Oh Well! I’m done being a drug dealer for today! Now I shall become…Neon Santa Clause!”
Then Neon would put on a pony Santa suit and slit’s everybody’s throat. What a brave man, for I have no fucking clue what I said there.
Anyways, I then said to Neon, “Neon, we really need to have an intervention with you and…why are we at the changeling’s kingdom place?”
Yea, we were so busy talking, we didn’t notice where we were going again. Apparently, this time, we ended up in the Changeling Queen’s kingdom. In fact, she was sitting down in her living room type area, reading a changeling newspaper.
She then put the paper down and saw us. Although, for a few seconds at first, the Changelings Queen had her mouth opened, or a gaped for a few moments or so.
Then she closed it, and then asked us, “Uhhhhh….who are you, and why are you here?”
Then I said, “Well then. It appears we were talking so much as a group, that we ended up walking int the kingdom.”
I then looked behind me, and what I saw was a trail full of blood and organs. I then said, “And apparently, we kill all the guards that were just trying to not come in here. Well then, this is quite unfortunate. Well then, we will just leave and get out of your hair so we won’t be a bother to you.”
We then left as a group, however, when we left, just like Luna, the Changelings Queen had a buzzer.
I believe that these queens and bitchs are horny. I’m not saying that they should be together, nor would that be hot at all. Whatever, we can get into clopping arguments later, but the thing is that these bitchs need help. Maybe someone should start up a business, called bitch therapy.
As in, a hospital for those bitchs who are in need of an assistance. Anyways, while we were walking away, Neon then said, “Well then, that was fun. I mean, that was more fun than…”
I then cut him off, interrupted him, and said to him, “Neon. Just shut it. I mean, it is your talking that is getting us to these weird places. I mean, sure, I’ll admit, this is a bit of my fault as well, but not you, Neon, are doing the most damage here, you son of a bitch. Therefore, don’t you dare say that was fun? Besides, it makes no sense anyways.”
Then Neon looked at me, while we were walking. Then Neon said, “Oh come on Knight. That was fun. I mean, it’s more fun than having Satanists, going around killing random teenagers in some foreign country, and have others say that they could have done less work if they used better weapons, instead of stabbing them a few times.”
To be honest here, I have fucking clue what Neon said there. I mean, he said some shit that I’m not even sure if it makes sense. Then again, I believe I have heard this once before, somewhere back on Earth.
Now that I think about it, yea, something like this happened. A group of Satanists went around stabbing teenagers, and people on Tumbler complained on how they could have done less work.
What nice people, although I can’t believe that, since that was like over fifty-thousand years for me.
I then said to Neon, “You’re just so fucking random dude. I mean, what the fuck are you even talking about?”
Then Neon said, “Knight, you silly billy anal shit piss bag of a motherless goat fucker. Don’t you know I was mostly raised on Planet Random, but was born in Equestria? I mean, of course I’m random, but it is true. It is fun when Satanists do that and others end up complaining on how they could kill the teenagers with less work. I mean, it’s funny and true at the same time.”
I then told Neon, “Neon, you’re insane.”
Then Neon said, “Thanks Knight. That just made my day and put a smile that says ‘I’m going to kill some pony today’ look on my face.”
First off, I have no clue what a smile like that looks like. Second, I have a feeling that Neon did kill someone, with his mind, five hundred miles away while we were talking.
That, or perhaps in some other universe while we were walking. Third, I didn’t inspect him to take that as a compliment, but, then again, he is Neon.
So, what are you going to do about it? Although, it wasn’t a compliment, but more of a sign that say, ‘you need help’.
Anyways, then I said, “Neon, you are always insane. I mean, when are you never insane? You always do random shit, you kill, and… why the fuck are we on the set of ‘Blazing Saddles’?”
Yea, I have no idea what we were doing now. I mean, first, we were in Cantorlot, then the Changeling Queen’s kingdom, and now we’re on the set of Blazing saddle, in the Blazing Saddle universe.
That, makes no sense what so ever. I mean, how did we transport to another universe without me noticing?
Well, whatever, it doesn’t matter, since it was a good film. Then again, why am I on the set of Blazing Saddle.
Speaking of which, remember when those parasprites came into Stalia and they adopted. Then, when it seemed like all hope was lost, the universe made me go insane, just like Twilight in the episode.
Then I said that half of Stalia should distract the AIDs, while the other half builds an exact copy of Stalia somewhere near the original town. Yea, if you recall from my words in this book of mine, that I am still writing in the dark somewhere ion Cantorlot castle, that I forgot the movie that was kind of like what I was talking about. Well, now I remember, and of course, it’s Blazing Saddle.
Well, anyways, we were on the part where those gay guy who were shooting a gay movie, with the gay men in top hot and tuxedos, were singing a gay song.
Then one of the gay men messed up on a line, and the gay director walked up to him, bitched slapped him, or how a man would slap like a gay guy, and told him to not fuck up again.
Then they started it all over, while none of them noticed us, and at the very end, where there were no fuck ups at all, those cowboys broke in from the other set.
Then, we were in the fight scene. The music from that scene from the movie was also playing somewhere beyond, perhaps in, Bed, Bath, and beyond store, was playing that music.
It was a bit fun, I must admit, but it was a bit annoying, mostly because, I wasn’t in the mood to fight. That and a gay came up to me, tried to punch me, but he did a gay guy punch, and just leaned on me and cried, like a pussy.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think those gay men were gay. They were super mega either gay, or just plain old queers. I’m not sure which, but, who knows, right?
Anyways, when that guy leaned on me for some support, I pushed him away and said to him, “Get the fuck off me you son of a bitch! If you’re going to fight, I suggest getting up off your ass, and not going it the pussy way.”
Then the guy said to me, “You are mean Technicolor pony.”
Then I said, “Yea, well you’re a piece of shit that no one cares about.”
Then the guy said, “Why did you have to bring up my father?”
I then looked at him for a few seconds and then said to him, “listen. How about this. I could solve your problems with your dad, then I’ll teach you how to fight, mostly because, I don’t want you to lean on me anymore.”
Yea, I was lying to him about that. I said those things, mostly because if I was going to be stuck here on the set, I might as well have some sort of fun. Then, the guy said to me, “But, I…I don’t know how to fight? I don’t have any experience at all except for lightly punching you like the pussy I am.”
Wow, I didn’t know gays can admit their own weakness. Well then, maybe you shall be off the black list. In addition, just to make sure you guys know, even though you guys can’t hurt, for I am in the My Little Pony universe, that I have nothing against gays, but I rather not hear about it.
Well, anyways, then Neon came right up behind him. He then told him, “I might have a solution for you.”
Neon then slowly took out a knife of his own and gave it to the gay guy. Then Neon said to the gay guy, “Now, you can stab anyone you want, and you will either end up getting away with it o being raped in prison.”
Then the gay guy said, “Oh wow! Oh boy, a Knife! Just what I always wanted. Now I can brutally murder my father and make him pay for having that awful argument with me. I shall stab him fifty time in the stomach, and I’ll pull out his organs, and watch him, slowly dying in pain, as he prays for mercy, and begs me to stop skinning alive, and take his organs, cook it, and eat it, and rip his beating heart out and eat it.”
Then the gay guy did an evil alive. In addition, you should all note that he said all of that, while having a deep scary voice. He then ran away, along with having red eyes and went to go and kill his own father.
You know, like father like son. That was a horrible joke, I am sorry, I apologize, and…why the fuck am I apologizing to you guys in a book that is being written in Equestria?
I do not know, things are slow. That and I also believe, that guard is going to be paying the price if he doesn’t come back with my fucking ink.
Anyways, then Neon said, “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”
Yea, he made another monster. Apparently, Neon makes them and treats them as if it was his own child of some sort. Now the thought of Neon having a mini him or a midget version of him, or a Neon Jr. I should say, is quite disturbing. Ten again, I think it’s kind of cool…maybe. That…and I…also…think…it’s a bit…cute.
Well, sometimes everyone has a soft side to them that they don’t want to let out…ok? I mean, it’s kind of true if you think about it a bit.
I mean, him…just playing around, while his papa Neon is just there, playing with him. I mean, who doesn’t think that’s a bit cute?
Anyways, moving from that subject, I then said, “yea, they…kind of do, a bit. Even though he wasn’t your child or anything or the fact that you will never ever get to experience a ‘sunrise, sunset’ moment with a kid at all, it is fast.”
Then Neon slowly, creepily turned his head around to me, and looked at me with his own eyes, while still having a smile on his face that was creepy, and said to me, “Who said I won’t have a child in the future.”
That literally scared me. even though I said that it would be cute, which we will never speak of again, it’s still kind of scary. Besides, who the fuck would want him to be his wife, or who would want him to fuck them, or in others chick. Oh well then, anyways, I then said to Neon, “Can we please go now. I mean, as much as I like to stay here, since it is blazing saddles and all, I prefer to go home and smoke my weed for now.”
Then Neon said, “Why leave now? The pie fight hasn’t started yet. Also, speak of the devil, it’s about to start.”
Then the pies were started to being thrown around. At the time of the fight, I was a bit surprised that I had almost forgotten all about the pie fight scene.
I mean, I even saw that chef who was walking out of the kitchen, carrying pies and shit with his hands, yelling out, “Banana! Cream! Pies!”
Then he slipped on some pie cream and were beaten to death. As this was happening, Neon and the other Neon was enjoying the pie fight, as I also saw that one guy got into a random taxi.
I recall that same scene from the movie, where the guy says, ‘Drive me off of this set.”
It was a great fourth wall joke at the time. Although, I believe Pinkie Pie does better ones though.
Anyways, Neon and the other Neon was fighting for a while, and I went up to them and asked, “Can we please go now? I mean, I’m tired and I want to go home. Besides, Mel brooks his right over there, creepily staring at his.”
Yea, Mel brooks, the director of Blazing Saddles, was just…standing there. I mean, I don’t think he even blinked while doing so.
He then slowly walked up to us, and said right up in our faces, “My anus is bleeding. You guys are my friends…forever and ever and ever.”
Then Mel brooks turned into a giant crab monster and killed some people. I’m not sure, and I’m still a bit skeptic of it, but I believe we were on planet
Random at the time, but I wasn’t sure of it though. Anyways, we then left the set of Blazing Saddles and we continued to talk, which I didn’t want, for I was afraid we would end up somewhere else that was at random.
I then said, “I must admit, it was a bit fun being there, although I was afraid I was going to die there, mostly by the hands of Mel Brooks.”
Then Neon mentioned, “But Knight, don’t you know not all things have been bad. I mean, if you would have died, you would’ve been taking up to heaven…kind of.”
I then said, “Yea, I guess that’s about right, that or hell, but would be able to escape either no matter what…what do you mean kind of?”
Then Neon said, “Well, it all depends if you still have AOL on your computer, then you’ll get into heaven.”
I was shocked by how that doesn’t make any sense at all, and how stupid it is I mean, who the fuck still has AOL nowadays? Nobody that I know of has it, so why do you need it to get into heaven.
I then said to Neon, “What are you talking about? How does having AOL on your computer get you into heaven?”
Then Neon told me, “ Well…it’s just a real in heaven. I mean, it’s just a thing that they do.”
Then I questioned to Neon, “Ok then, so, if heaven only allows people who has AOL to only go to heaven, don’ they realize that heaven is a ghost town, since no one has it downloaded.”
Then Neon said to me, “well, I recall talking to that god, and he told me one guy got into heaven.”
I then asked, “Let me guess, it’s some Muslim who just got 80’s shit not too long ago in from the mail.”
Then Neon said, “Nope. You are not even close Knight. It was a random guy who lives in America. Apparently the guy got drunk one night and accidentally downloaded it.”
Well then, my mind was blown away, and all of my knowledge of life and its meaning then soon came to me…that Neon…is…I’m sorry, but just being a bit random there.
Then again, it’s understandable, since that guard isn’t back with my ink yet. anyways, I then said to Neon, “so, I’m guessing he’s confused as to what happened and why Heaven isn’t as heavily populated as anyone else would think. I’m sure all of his family is burning in hell, while some demon is having his mother suck his cock and… why are we in Jerry Seinfeld’s house?”
yea, first, we went to Cantorlot Castle. Then, we went to the Changeling’s kingdom, without alerting any of the guards at all. Next, we went to the set of Blazing Saddle. Now, we were at Jerry Seinfeld’s house. That made so much sense.
However, Jerry heard all the noise and commotion from my mouth, and decided to see what was going on. When Jerry saw us, he said, “Oh my god! It’s a miracle. Oh, thank god! I finally have an audience now! Aright Jerry, it is time to show them that you’re still funny. So, what is the deal with rape? It’s supposed to be bad for women, but it’s sex. Isn’t it supposed to feel good?”
Then Neon, other Neon, and I had blank expressions on our face. I then said, “No one cares anymore Jerry. Your comedy sucks. I mean, no one wants you anymore.”
Then, we were about to leave the house, until Jerry grabbed a hold on one of my hooves and said to me, “Please don’t leave me. I’m very lonely here. no one wants here me anymore or my horrible crafted jokes. My wife left me and my kid fucking took everything that I have. For fuck’s Shake! I’ve been living off of SPAM for three months now! I mean, I don’t even have enough money to pay the mortgage on this house. The bank is going to kick me out onto the street by Monday! Please…help me out! Please…give me some sort of hope.”
By the way, Jerry was sobbing and begging like a desperate man while he was saying that. I then told him, “Jerry, go fuck youself.”
Then me and the Neon’s left Jerry’s house. As we were leaving, Jerry yelled, “Please! I will do anything! When I get kicked out, the wolves are planning on eating me!”
I then yelled back at Jerry, “The Fucking wolves can have you!”
Then, as we left, I believe I heard the sounds of wolves near the house of Jerry Seinfeld. Unbelievably, as sick as it sounds, I rather wanted to see Jerry get killed by the wolves.
I kind of wish he died right there on the spot as well. Anyways, we then went back to talking, although it is pointless to write it down in the leather bound book of mine.
Therefore, long conversation short, we talked about forgotten celebrities and who we want to see to die because they are so awful and shit. anyways, we soon finally got back to Stalia.
In addition, surprisingly, it wasn’t even noon yet. Yea, I’m surprised. Either, Neon turned back time or where we were at was in different universes.
Anyways, we soon got back to Stalia, and I had completely forgotten that I wanted to talk to Twilight about the Two Neon issue. However, as I remembered, the Two Neon’s then went to my other friends.
That, and I was also stuck in the middle of town, and had lost the two. However, I was later on able to see what happened to the two. Anyways, while those Two Neon’s were doing what they were doing, I went back to my home, where Wolf was at, being molted and shit.
While he was having sex with Princess Molestia, I went and smoked my weed, because I had nothing else better to do, except for drinking Tequila.
Well, tequila is the best alcoholic drink there is, right next to Irish beer, also known as…geniuses…I believe it is called. Well, what I found out what happened to the two Neon’s is this.
First, they went to Mac, just to do whatever the fuck they want with him. They went up to him and when Mac saw this, he had no emotion at all that there were two Neon’s right in front of him.
He said, “Well then, it seems like you are doing some crazy things without your friends real Neon. Although, frankly, I don’t give a dam. Anyways, what you two Neon’s bring you down to the apple farm that is better then Applejack’s apple farm?”
Then Neon said, “Well, we just thought we stop on by and see what you’re doing. That and I thought I would introduce you to an alternate universe Neon that is another version of me. However, it is an alternate universe, where Knight isn’t our friend, nor is anywhere to be found. However, he can be found in such universe, however you would have look at the right place.”
Then Mac said, “I can tell you’re smart and you went to some fancy southern school to get your education at. I mean, you are saying so many smart pony words, that I didn’t even knew it existed.”
Then Neon said, “Nope, I didn’t go to school at all. All I did was going to a universe, where a different dominated species rule, instead of us ponies, who are bi-pedal creatures and originated from a monkey’s asshole. Well, I killed some guy named Albert Einstein and stole his brain and that is how I know all of this shit.”
Then Mac said to Neon, “Yea, that’s nice to hear Neon. Well then other Neon, which I’m just going to assume that’s who you, since I have no clue what Neon just said. Well then, welcome to Mac’s apple farm. Also, a word of advice. Do not go by my cousin Applejack’s apple farm. It will give you Aids and Cancer.”
Mac was a bit right on that part, I must admit. I mean, what doesn’t give you cancer nowadays? I mean, one minute, you’re playing a game while eating an apple while fucking a red head chick, then the next thing you know, you got cancer.
It makes a whole lot of sense to me if you think about it. Anyways, then Mac’s little brother came up to him, who was shadow, and asked his big brother, “Big brother… there’s a dead body in the bath tub.”
Then Mac said to him, in a very kind way, “Shut you littler fucker you! Can’t you see us adults are trying to have a fucking conversation here, without you fucking up the place with your dam fucking kid-ish voice, that sounds like a hippo, being fucked in the ass by a ten ton lion. That is being skinned alive by a monkey’s dick. While at the same time the hippo has to eat dragon shit, fresh out of its asshole.”
Then, Shadow said, “But, I need to take a bath. I mean, I would get dad, but I think he’s dead. I tried getting a pulse from him, but theirs is no heart beat.”
Then Mac said to shadow, “Pa is just possibly drunk like hell. Besides, you can take a bath in the lake.”
Then Shadow said, “But… that has animals that are trying to kill me. I mean, those fishes in the lake are always eyeing me and having a lead pipe, ready to beat me to death with it.”
Then Mac said, “Fine, I’ll help you out with the dead body, so you can shut the fuck up. But first, is the dead body on ice in the bath tub?”
Then Shadow said, “Yes. I also think his kidney was removed.”
Then Mac said, “Dam it. They already got him. Well little brother. Come with me. I shall teach you how to be a murder in a bathroom. Now, go get the hack saw, acid, ice, and a container to put the ice in from the shed.”
Then Shadow said, “Got it big brother.”
Then Shadow got a little too close to Mac and said, “You’re the best big brother ever.”
Then Mac shoed his little brothers away and said to him, “Yea, yea, yea, get off of me you little shit. Now go get things and meet me in the bath room.”
Then Shadow left to get those items, so he can kill a guy. Well, by technical standards, it’s Mac, but still. I will admit, Mac is a horrible big brother. Then again, as a friend, he is cool, as long as you don’t get on his bad side, mostly about Applejack.
I swear to you that he has a problem with her and shit. I mean, I even recall that I saw letters that he wrote for Applejack that were death threats.
It’s like someone should help those two out, but I’m pretty sure they’re conflict is the only thing that is keeping you guys here and reading on.
That makes a whole lot of sense to me. That, and Neon too, but…whatever, he’s random, and likable, but sometime can get annoying.
Well, then Mac said to Neon, “Listen, can you two buck the apples for me, while I go harvest the last kidney in that body in the bath tub, before it’s no longer good and I can no longer sell it on the black pony market. I told Applejack that I was going to buck more apples then her, mostly because I’m better than her in every way possible. That, and while sending death threats to her at the same time. So, can you fella’s handle that for me?”
Then other Neon said, “Sure alternate universe Mac, I’ve always wanted to buck apples in an alternate universe. It’s every pony’s dream.”
Yea…I’ve always wondered what the difference was and why such a thought exits in these pony’s bucket lists. However, from what I’ve gathered, is that if you buck apples in an alternate universe, on a rainy night, you are supposed to see your soul mate in mid air, and possibly lead you to another world and there’s a murder on the loose.
While at the same time, having a Persona 4 rip off plot. I’m not joking, that’s literally what the thing is about the difference and all that good shit. Anyways, Then Mac left the two Neon’s alone, a bad mistake to do, may I say, so he can harvest the last kidney.
Well, after Mac left for a bit, the two Neon’s just stood there, like a statue with creepy smiles on their faces.
However…let’s just say…long story short, Mac came back. When he got back, he was saying, “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. Apparently the guy was awake when I was about to teach my little brother on how to harvest somebody’s organ. Good news, we got the kidney, although I’ll admit, burying the dead body wasn’t fun like what we used to do back in the days before Knight ever came to this town. So, How did you do….?”
Yea, what Mac saw was a giant chicken mask, floating up into space. While at the same time, there was dub step music playing and shit. Then there was an evil cyborg turtle on the loose, while the apple tresses were set on fire.
However, there was also two giant monkey’s but fucking one another, and a giant walking dick, with a smile on its face as if it was retarded.
Actually, I take that back, it was a retarded dick on the loose, along with a lollipop fucking a horse in the ass of a pig, while Captain Crunch was on doing cocaine with George W. Bush in a bush.
Yup, shit was crazy that day. When Mac saw this, instead of seeing and acknowledging anything else, he saw the two monkey butt fucking one another and he said, “Wow. I didn’t think monkey’s can do that 69 position. Well then, it looks like if they were getting smarter than us. Perhaps they will eventually rule Equestria one day and will be our overlords. All because they can do the 69. I bet they can do that in they’re sleep.”
Then the monkey’s did a clever steamer, which, for those do not know what it is, I shall spare you the details, however, let me put it like this.
It’s when you and your partner takes a shit on one another on each’s chest. Well then, I got that from a 13 year old from Wikipedia, either when I was back on earth, or it was actually true.
Not sure why I had to bring that up, however, let’s just say when I got some bullshit from a 13 year old from Wikipedia, I killed him and shit. Well, maybe he shouldn’t have been trying to troll that day, but, whatever, it’s a life experience and along as being a life’s lesson.
Anyways, Mac is little bother, Shadow saw this happening, and he was confused as fuck. Shadow then asked his big brother, “Big brother? What are those two monkey’s doing to each other?”
Then Mac said, “Boy, it’s time for you to learn about sex. I mean, you should know already, since you’re seven or eight years old by now, I don’t know which I never celebrate any of your birthdays or anything. You see, when a guy’s dick, which is your little thingy down there, get’s really hard, it means he’s horny. Therefore, he finds a nice, hot mare to stick his dick into a mare’s pussy, they start doing it, and it feels good. Now, stuff will be exchange, and it is very wise to wear a condom.
'Because if you don’t, the mare will end up getting pregnant, having a kid, then he’ll end up trying to pay for child support, and you end up killing the bitch and child. Trust me, it’s a life lesson you should always learn. Also, that you are seeing now is a sexual position, called the ‘69’, however, I’ll tell you what it means possibly tomorrow, because I won’t be drunk as shit as I am right now.”
Then Mac collapsed because, well, while he was trying to harvest the organ, he got drunk on alcohol apple cider. Although, that doesn’t mean that Mac wouldn’t have told his little brother what sex was either.
I do feel bad for the kid, because he is obviously getting the wrong information, at the wrong time.
Then again, I learned about sex when I was ten years old. I got it from watching television. Well then, TV is good for you.
Anyways, then the Two Neon’s left and went to Arrell’s place to see what the fuck he was doing. Well, Arrell was working in a science type lab area. Well, he had robot parts and shit, scattered around the place, trying to read blue prints.
Then, the Two Neon’s slowly, creepily rose up and said, “Hi Arrell!” then Arrell jumped up because he got scared shitless by Neon and the other Neon sneaking up on him.
Once he calmed down, he saw the two Neon’s standing before him.
Then Arrell said, “Well then, will you look at that. There is a clone of Neon. Well then, seems inserting, but I’m busy at the moment.”
Then Neon asked, “What are you busy with?”
Then Arrell said, “Well, if you must know, I’m working on my latest creation. I’m working on building a female animal robot, with a real pussy. I got the parts from Japony, and I paid some guy to make the blue prints of it. However, I’m having a bit of trouble. The blueprints are in Anime language. So far from what I can understand, is that ‘tentacle rape hole’, means, insert dick here. I don’t get it.”
Yea, me neither, although if you do want to know why Arrell was building this I the first place. Well, apparently, he was going to trick the male into thinking the robot is a real female.
Then the male will fuck it, releasing its seamen into the pussy, where it holds it, to which Arrell can take the sperm and make more abomination creatures that are against the laws of nature.
Anyways, then neon said, “I could possibly or possibly not help you out Arrell. I can speak fluent Anime.”
Yea, I bet he can. I also bet that he’s from an anime, because he’s fucked up and shit. I mean, Neon belongs in an anime show. I mean, I can just imagine the intro to the show right now.
I mean, it’s so trippy, that it gives you seizures and it would seem as if you were high. That and not even the Americans would want to dub their own fat voices over the show.
Anyways, as I am trying to forget that newly burned in image that is now in my b rain, Arrell then said, “Well, then, I guess you can help out. How about you build it, while I’m trying to take care of my animals. It’s going to take a while, since they will attack me on sight.”
Well, Arrell did so, while the two Neon made the robot. When Arrell came back, he was treated to something else. What Arrell saw was not a female animal robot but a robot that you would see in a Robocop movie, that is the villain of said movie.
When Arrell was coming back, he said, “Well, it took me a thirty minutes, and it resulted in killing three of my animals, by they are now fucking each other and are asleep. Along with having a feeding tube up they’re assholes. So, let’s see what…kind…of…progress?”
Then Arrell saw it. the robot that looked like I it was from Robocop even talked. It said, “Systems online. ITTI dfesnsive systems 9000 is now fully function. I have two main objectives. First objective: Destroy anything that is a threat to pony kind. Second objective: Eliminate Robocop.”
Yea, I told you, didn’t I? Anyways, then ITTI then saw Arrell and looked down at him. He then said, “First objective detected. Now insinuating weapons and now switching to offensive mode.”
Then the robot took out its weapons and said, “Halt. Kill. Destroy.”
Over and over and chased Arrell around Stalia, trying to kill him. As ITTI was doing that, Arrell was screaming and running for his own life that Neon clearly did not give a fuck about.
In addition, what the robot was saying reminded me of those .mov video when I was back on Earth. However, it is not a Rainbow Dash robot, and it doesen’t have any swag. However, he seems cool a bit to me.
Anyways, while this was happening, the two Neon’s just stood there without saying a single word, and having a very creepy smile on their faces. They then left to see what Forest was doing.
However, if you recall, Forest was still stalking Rainbow Dash and shit; so, the two Neon’s went to Ponyville.
I’m just surprised that no pony noticed those two. Well, Rainbow Dash was talking to her best friend, Rarity, as both of them also had their pet’s along with them as well.
They were talking about..How the fuck should I know? I mean, sure, I can create portals to see what happened in the past, however, I didn’t pay any attention to their conversation, mostly because, I was too distracted with how the two Neon’s were sneaking through town.
However, all the words that I somehow caught, were ‘wonderbolts, Knight, and Cantorlot.’ Don’t ask me, ok?
Anyways, Forest was just creepily staring at Rainbow Dash. Watching her talk and how she moved her ass and tail. Then Forest started to clop till he died of nothing at all.
However, the two Neon’s then caught him. Neon quietly sneaked up on him and asked, “Hey Forest? Can we clop with you?” Then Forest said, “What the fuck!!”
He said it so loud, that obviously Rainbow Dash heard. When she noticed the noise of the yelling and shit, she said, “Who’s there?”
Then, Forest slowly came out. Not out of the closet, but he came out of the bushes. When Rainbow Dash saw Forest, she was a bit surprised by the sight that she was seeing before her.
Rainbow Dash said, “Forest? Aren’t you supposed to be in Stalia, along with Knight and learning about friendship?”
Then Forest replied with, “We’re supposed to learn about friendship? I thought Knight was only sent to Stalia because Princess Celestia didn’t want him there anymore.”
Yea, if Celestia did not want me there, she could’ve just kicked me out of Cantorlot and shit. That or I would no longer be her student, but, whatever. All Forest said was something that at the time, I wish it was true.
However, sadly…it wasn’t. Anyways, then Rainbow Dash said, “Well, yea, that’s why Celestia sent Knight to Stalia. So he could learn about friendship. Besides, Knight, you, and the others are part of the Elements of Protection. I mean, why else did you think he was sent there?”
Then Forest drew a blank and Rainbow Dash waved her hoof in front of him. She said, “Hello? Equestria to Forest Fire.”
Then Forest said, “I don’t know.”
Then Rainbow Dash said, “Well, I was inspecting that from you. Anyways, if you do really want to know more about Knight being in Stalia and all, just ask my friend Twilight. She would be happy to tell, as long as you don’t tell Knight though. He’s the only one who he shouldn’t be told. I know this because I asked Twilight the same questions when Knight went to Stalia. So, anyways, why were you in the bushes spying on me?”
Then Forest said, “Well..You see Rainbow Dash. It’s a little hard to explain. Let me start off from the beginning. When I was a little colt…”
Forest continued to talk, however, Rainbow Dash and Rarity no longer was paying any attention to what Forest was talking about. They were slowly turning their attention towards to what was happening on Forest’s leg.
When Forest noticed that they weren’t paying attention to him, he stopped talking. Then he asked, “What are you looking at?”
Then Rarity slowly raised her hoof and pointed for forest to look down at his leg. What Forest saw was Rainbow Dash’s Turtle, Tank, humping his leg.
When forest saw this, he was in complete shock. Then, when Tank noticed that Forest was looking at him, he looked into his eyes and said, “Friend” like a retard.
I was also very shocked that it fucking talked. Then Tank finished on his leg and turtle sperm went everywhere on Forest’s leg. Then Forest flew around rampantly, trying to get the dam turtle off his leg, which was somehow stuck to him.
However, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were trying their very best to get the turtle off of Forest’s leg, but it ended up taking three hours to do so, and eventually getting Twilight to help out, for Tank would not let go.
Anyways, just to let you know, the two Neon’s were just watching all of this go down without a single word form from their mouths. Then, they left to see what Jack was doing.
Jack was working on some suits for his clients at the shop. It was almost getting dark and Jack was almost finished. When Jack noticed what time it was, he thought it was time for him to take a break.
Therefore, he took a quick break outside and looked up at Luna’s moon and how it rose.
Well, then when Jack was done taking his quick break, he went back inside, for he had to quickly finish the orders.
However, when he went back inside, to his surprise, he found that the two Neon’s somehow broke inside very quietly.
However, Classy Jack was not shocked by the fact there was a Neon clone right next to the real one.
Anyways, when Jack saw this, he said, “Well, hello Neon. You need to ask me something or what?”
Then Neon asked, “Do you need help with anything.”
Then Jack said, “Nope. I have almost everything done. I just have to put some final changes on the suits and do some other unrelated shit, then get drunk off whiskey and pass out on my couch or bed. Most likely to be my couch.”
Then Neon just stood there, and somehow telepathically set the suits on fire. Then Neon asked, “Do you need any help now?”
Then Jack said, “Well, I can start from scratch. I mean, the order isn’t die till three months from now, so I’ll have plenty of time to do it. I mean, it took me about threes ours just to make those.”
Then Neon somehow made a bunch of school children come out of nowhere from the ceiling and lit on fire. Yup, they were screaming in pain, all mares and colts. I mean, one of them said, “Why am I on fire?”
That and I bet one of the kids somehow found their way back home and they set to their parents, “Mommy. What does it mean when you see all of your friends on fire and their corpses are burned to a black crisp mean?”
I’m sure that the father, and I do mean the FATHER would say, “Timmy, it just means that you are on your period.”
In addition, yes, I am serious about this. This actually did happen from what I’ve seen and the I’m not sure which gender is which, for I am still trying to figure that part out.
Maybe they were both, but I really don’t know. Maybe the father thought he was a girl and the girl thought he was a boy.
I’m so confused right now, but anyways. It seems to me that Neon REALLY wanted to help Jack out with shit. Then when Jack saw this, and not disturbed at all that little s were set on fire and possibly were little fuckers.
Well, like I said or might have not set before, I’m not a good role model for children, let’s put it like that.
I’m pretty sure if I was a role model, kids would be getting high in class, killing, being set on fire by Neon.
No…wait…that already happened. So apparently, I am a role model then. Well; then, that gypsy was right.
Maybe I should not have slit her throat because I called her words bullshit and demanded a refund, but I was refused. That, and to make it clear, no, it was not Pinkie Pie.
Anyways, when Jack saw this, he said, “Well then. I guess I can’t complain with my shit being set on fire and little kids crying out in pain, running all over the place that might ruin my shit. Ok Neon, I’ll go do my other shit that is unrelated and you make the suits.”
Then Jack left and Neon said, “Goodie!”
Then Neon teleported Willy and it crushed and killed the innocent kids, except for that one kid who may not have a gender at all.
Moments later, when Jack came back, he was greeted to a sight of blood and guts everywhere.
Apparently, Neon and the other Neon used fresh, killed animals organs and fur and made designs out of them.
I am so surprised by this, that you ask, how this exists at all. I mean, I’m pretty sure PETA is already trying to burn this book by now, am I right?
Anyways, when Jack saw this, he said, “Wow. It wasn’t something that I didn’t have in mind, but it does look promising and decent enough. However, where did you get the fur and animal guts?”
Then Neon said absolutely nothing at all. Although, if I had to take a guess, they took some of Arrell’s animals and gutted them alive, while skinning them alive as well. That, and somewhere in the background, Arrell was still being chased by ITTI and still was calling out for help.
Then Neon and the other Neon left to go to the party shop. Well, they went to it and asked the owners, or in other words, the owners that Neon knows and who helps him out and shit.
Well, anyways, maybe I should have done this before, but the owners of the place are Mr. and Mrs. Sweets.
Well, as long as it’s not a ridiculous name or not a copy of the cakes, it’s fine with me. Well, anyways, Neon asked Mr. Sweets if he needed any help.
Well, he said he did, or in other words, about to fuck his wife and shit, however, it was still store hours, and he needed someone to look over the register, in case anyone wanted a sweet midnight treat of some sorts, or just needed some sort of party supplies.
Well, Neon did so, while the other Neon did jack shit. Well, anyways, Neon was looking and waiting for shit to happen. Well, something did happen. Two little kids came running in for some sweet and delectable treats for the night. Their parents had given them money to do so, and one of them was a mare and a colt, who were very best friends.
Well, they asked for three pieces of candy, which sounds a bit stupid, but, whatever, its ponies, just deal with it. Well, Neon took their bits and said, “Here’s your candy you little shits!”
Then Neon somehow teleported razor blades in their mouths, to which the children had it stuck in their mouths and bleed to death right in the store, while Neon continued to have a very creepy smile on his face.
Yea…on second thought, I don’t think Neon would ever be suitable to be a father of any kind. Although the thought of it still is a bit cute if, Neon wasn’t this crazy and a kid killer.
Well, anyways, their next and last stop was to bother the fuck out of me. Well, I was about done smoking my weed and I was just reading the daily newspaper.
I was just reading about how life in Equestria is and how life and shit. I’m not sure where I was going with that, but still.
Anyways, I was reading the newspaper, and to which Neon and the other Neon very quietly sneaked up on me and scared the shit out of me. Neon said very closely and loudly to my ear, “Hey Knight! You want to fucking party!”
I then jumped from the couch and hit my floor hard. I then said to Neon, “What the fuck is your problem!?”
Then Neon said, “Come on Knight! The night is young and we can do some shit together.”
I then said to them, “No.! I’m tired and I want to do some other shit. So, how about you two leave and go to bed…now!”
They didn’t move or anything, which creeped me out, so I just shoved them out of my home, to which they then went back home and went to bed.
Neon was back at the party shop and was all ready to go to bed. I was just surprised that he wasn’t up all night having a party and having techno music playing very loudly and saying, ‘Wah! Hoo!”
All night long and shit. So, right before Neon was about to go to bed, Neon said to the other Neon, “Well then, good night alternate universe me.”
Then neon went to bed and dreamed about shit. I really don’t know what Neon dreams about, however, the question is, do you want to know?
Man, I just got shivers up my spine now, while I’m writing this in my book by candle light in Cantorlot. Anyways, the creepy part not what Neon dreams of, but what the other Neon was doing.
He was just standing there, overlooking Neon, and had a very evil grin run across his face.
Then, he twitched a little bed, and their seemed to be this blue electric glow come from his head when he twitched a bit. Then, he sung a song about some shit.
Go to sleep Neon Dream about sugar drops and milk honey Don’t worry about a thing For tomorrow will be your last. Tonight is a good night For a tune to be sung About the loneliness that I feel As I look upon Luna’s moon I see nothing but hate And what I see in the stars so up above so high I only see my only reflection of who I’m really am. When the sun rises, I will only see my soul being burned.
Then the other Neon jumped out of the window and started singing throughout the town. Tomorrow this town shall be mine. This town shall be mine to rule.
It may think that it will be a pleasant day. However, what they don’t know, That it will be their last. As these children sleep of sweet dreams, As they have no worries at all for the future, They think nothing is wrong With this world that they are living in. However, they will suffer true pain Once tomorrow comes, And I shall rule this town. As these homeless and helpless children sleep, Within their only roof over their heads For which is an old used cardboard box, To which they think it’s their only protection. However, their lives will be much worse than that For once tomorrow comes, They will suffer even more, For I which will rule this town. Once I rule this town, I then shall slowly, make an empire and a name for myself, Then everybody will know who I am, And all those who does not see my ways or just hates me shall pay the price. And as for poor Knight, he has been living, a harsh and painful life, However, what he doesn’t know, will kill him even more, For what he is, will surly break Knight’s sprit to fight. However, I shall be helping Knight out, By doing him a favor and ending all of his pain, Once I tell him, for whom he truly is. When Celestia’s sun rises, this town will suffer my wrath, For my wrath is a gift from him, Who I saw in my trip to heaven. For he is my new leader now, And he is my teacher now, And I shall obey his every words. This town of Stalia, shall soon face the wrath of me, of Alternate Universe Neon!
Then, he stopped singing, and soon, Celestia’s sun rose and it was a dawn of a new day, except minus the Ben creepy pasta stuff.
So as it was also Stalia Day. The towns folk were happy as shit and were cheering. I was somewhere in my hidden basement, doing shit and working on weapons, to which I decided to show up, mostly because Neon said so.
I mean, he was right, if I wanted to be seen as a normal pony and not a human. Then again, they don’t know what a human is, but still, I don’t want to blow my own cover here.
Anyways, that happened and I went to the event in the park. All of my friends were there, except for Neon, although other Neon was there though.
However, what Neon was doing was what he said earlier before. Neon was at mop star’s house, disguised as a butler.
Also with a French mustache as well. He was also holding a tray of merely but a coffee cup. When Mop star saw this, he grabbed the cup and said, “Thank you geebze.”
Then he took a sip of the coffee, was choking, and finally realized something. He said, “Wait a second! I don’t have a butler!”
then he was slowly dying of the poison that Neon gave him. Then Neon revealed himself and he said, “Guess who it is asshole!”
Then Mop asked, “Why Neon?”
Then Neon said, “Oh Mop Star. For too long, you have been winning every horse shoe contest every year at Stalia Day. I always come in second place, while you get all the fame with first place. However, this year, I shall receive that fame with having first placed this year. Have a nice morning Mop Star.”
Then Neon left to go to Stalia day, while Mop slowly died of the poison. However, no one noticed that Mo was dead, so no one even knew that he died.
What a great town to live in. It’s a town that everybody knows your name, but if you die, no one gives a fuck.
Anyways, after a while, Neon finally came and he had come just in time right before the games started.
When Neon just arrived, the mayor started to talk. The mayor said, “Ladies and gentlecolts! Boy and girls! Welcome to the electric light parade! No…wait, sorry. That’s for next month’s event.”
Yea, let me just say that the electric light parade that the town had, it didn’t go so well. Moreover, just to give you an idea, it was Neon’s fault.
A lot of ponies died that day. At the same time, a lot of animals and kids burned to death as well. The monster couldn’t be stop. I mean, no one speaks of that day any more.
Well, anyways, the mayor continued to say, “What I meant to say was, welcome to Stalia Day! We have a lot of games planned for you all today, and later we will have a cook out, along with fireworks that Forest illegally smuggled in from some other country that no pony cares about.”
I then looked at Forest, to which Forest said to me, “Don’t ask where I put them.”
I then said, “You hid them up your ass, didn’t you?”
Then Forest said, “It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.”
Yea, I could tell. I mean, fireworks are allowed in Equestria. It’s just that the big, highly dangerous, made by illegal Mexican type ponies/Asians are allowed.
Mostly due to because of safety concerns that Celestia has. I mean, in the past, they were allowed, however every time one went off, about sixty-nine ponies died.
I’m also surprised that it wasn’t Neon’s fault. Anyways, the mayor then said, “So, let’s all have a good time and show Ponyville that his town is better than them in every way. For starters, we have the elements of Protection with us, so that makes us better than them in every way possible.”
Yea, that mayor is a retard. Sure, we are better the elements of Harmony in some ways, but not in every way.
Only some ways possible. For example, we can out drink them, cure the most, get high more than they get, kill things and a whole bunch of other shit.
However, I am willing to bet that they can kick our ass when it comes to kids.
Elements of Harmony would take could care, while we either curse them out, throw empty beer bottles at their head, get high with them, or just ending up killing them in some way that is beyond our understanding.
Yea, me and the guys aren’t the best of role models there is in Equestria. Anyways, I can also see many people are pissed off at the comment, but as long as when I ever teleport this book back to earth and people find it and they put it on the internet, it’ll be ok.
I mean, I’m sure a whole lot of computers we just destroyed by a flame thrower. That, and I’m pretty sure if there was a war between Stalia and Ponyville, that war would last about four to eight years, and not even Celestia could stop it.
Anyways, the mayor lastly said, “So, for the first activities, we have the horse show toss! It also seems that there are only two ponies who are participating in this year’s event, who are Neon and Mop Star!”
I saw Neon’s face and it had one of those evil looking grins. Neon said to me, “I have this year’s horse shoe toss in the bag.”
However, the mayor then said, “However, it seems that Mop Star hasn’t shown up, so that mean he automatically forfeits the event. However, luckily, he has a daughter that is legally able to take is position.”
When Neon heard that, he was pissed to a boil. Neon then said very loudly, “What the fuck! How the fuck does, he even has a daughter! He doesn’t even have a fucking wife! That and he’s a virgin! This is fucking bullshit!”
I thought Neon was over reacting a bit. I mean, Mop star could’ve just adopted her, however, I found out later that she wasn’t adopted, but was more of a stripper that Mop Star raped, and it turns out it was his child.
Although, surprisingly, she was treated very well compared to others who are just used for cleaning out shit from the toilet. However, I believe that Mop could not get a girlfriend for one second, so he just had to go to extreme measures at getting a child.
That and chances are, he’s still going to pony heaven. Anyways, after Neon said what he said, Mop star’s daughter, Lightning Star, waved to the crowed. Then Neon had that face that says, ‘I’m going to rip that bitch throat out and rape her.’
Then, Neon and Lightning took their positions and started the event. While this was going on, I swear that one 80’s song, Burning heart from Rocky 4, playing the background.
To be honest with you, it’s quiet fitting I must admit. Anyways, the event only took about thirty minutes and Neon lost once more, and Lightning was the winner.
In addition, she was also being carried by the crowd and was cheering for her as well.
However, she did say to Neon, “Well, I must admit, you were a great player; however, it seems that you still need a little practice. Better luck next time.”
Then, the crowd left to continue to cheer on Lightning for her efforts at the event.
However, as they were leaving, Neon said under his breath, “Oh yes, you were also great Lightning. However, I’m pretty sure that next year’s event, there will be a ‘surprise’ in your pussy, when you go to fuck someone.”
Then he did an evil villain laugh and had an evil crazy guy smile on his face. Then he added her name to his black list. Yes, Neon has a black list as well.
Anyways, right after he did that, other neon had and evil grin on his face as well, however, he was looking dead on right at Neon. He then said, “Oh Neon. I have a surprise for you.”
Then Neon said, “I like surprises! Is it a dead beating raccoon heart? I’ve always wanted one of those!”
Then the other Neon said, “Surprise!”
Then he somehow used a power lightning orb and fused him and Neon together, to make one giant fucking Neon.
I’m guessing that the other Neon got those powers thingies from that one guy that he met in heaven.
However, that’s just my guess, but whatever. Anyways, yea…there was giant Neon, rampaging through Stalia. In fact, everyone pretty much knew that there was no hope left, so they just ended up running away and almost fled Stalia. However, I didn’t and stayed to fight. Well, by technical reasons. Anyways, I just stood there and I signaled Neon to pay attention to me.
Let’s just say I knew what to do in this type of situation, since I’ve seen South Park and all. Anyways, I did so, and I yelled at giant Neon, “Hey you fucker! Eat me!”
Then, giant Neon said; with strangle dubstep playing the background, “Yum yum. A pony to eat.”
Then he ate me, although he didn’t chew me though and just swallowed me whole. However, instead of ending up in his stomach, I made my to the brain somehow, to which I was greeted with a room that looked a lot like that one room from A Space Odyssey 2001. I was then in the robotic, computer looking room, with no gravity.
It was complete zero G in there. Then, I heard other Neon’s voice. He said, along with sounding like HAL from Space Odyssey, “What are you doing Knight?”
I then said, “I’m here to shut you down so I can have an easy day. I mean, for fuck’s shake. I want to go back home and smoke my weed and drink tequila at the same time!”
Then other Neon said to me, “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Knight.”
I then said to him, “Why are you ripping off Space Odyssey? I mean the room and your dialogue, why are you copying that man. I mean, if you’re going to be a giant and destroy Equestria, at least be original, and not be a fucking Godzilla and breath fire.”
Then other Neon said, “N..no I’m not. I’m not copying Space Odyssey.”
I then said, “Yea, you are dude. Stop being a pussy about it. Besides, eventually a lawyer from another universe who represents 20th Century Fox is going to come and sue your ass.”
Then other Neon said to me, “No he won’t. That lawyer is cool with me doing this kind of shit.”
I then said, “Proof it then. Show me the lawyer that is ‘cool’ with you doing this type of rip off.” Then, shit happened.
SOMEWHERE BACK ON EARTH, WHERE THAT ONE WHITE GUY WHO IS UNNAMED COMES TO NARRATE THIS PART OF THE STORY, A LAWYER IS HAPPILY WORKING DOWN A NEIGHBORHOOD, GOING TO SUE A BRONY FOR USING COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL FROM MY LITTLE PONY…
I’m happy lawyer today. I’m going to sue someone I represent Hasbro, And someone stole copyrighted shit. Oh how much I love suing today I also love suing Muslims –Jews I also love to sue Mexican, Asain, and black too. I especially like sue Bronies too. Then after I sue and give them the subpoena, I go home to a lovely wife of mine Then if she illegally misuses a recipe for dinner, I then sue her too. Then I go talk to my 34 year old son in his room, Whos masturbating to playboy, I then masturbate with him right next to my son. I then see him go on the internet, And illegally downloads porno, So I sue my kids too. Then at night, I dream suing people in my dreams. Oh it’s wonderful dreams I must admit. Oh how I love suing people. From the gays to lesbians Atheists too. I also love to sue Canadians and christens as well. I especially like to sue Bronies too. I then go to court and give the judge the evidence, Of misused material, And then the guy gets sued up the ass. Then Hasbro is happy once more, and I get my paycheck in the mail. I then waste five million dollars on stripper and hookers, and cocaine. Now today is a special day for me, For I am about to sue a Brony, For making an illegal animation under misuse Then I’ll see him in court he’ll lose And I will once more make millions! And Then I go rape my wife and kids and dog and cat and…
BACK TO KNIGHT
Yea, surprisingly, that white guy was really lazy and didn’t want to show up for work. Wow, a black guy was right. No, wait… a black guy will properly sue me for that comment, I mean Morgan Freeman was right. Is that better? Well, whatever, you can’t sue me in Equestria, for I am above the law, because I have shot gun, ready to kill those who try to sue me up the ass.
Anyways, what happened to the guy you may ask? Well, the other Neon opened up a portal, cut him in half, and brings him into the universe inside his own body.
Well, he was in the room with me, slowly floating as if a dead guy would be doing. I then said to the other Neon, “That’s not the lawyer from Odyssey.
It looks like a Hasbro guy that has a love to sue Bronies because he gets money out of it.” then the other Neon said, “No it’s not. It’s the lawyer you wanted.”
I then said, “Then how come he has a Hasbro logo on his brief case then?”
Then the other Neon brought him through a portal for a couple of seconds and brought him back to the room. However, this time, he had a piece of paper taped to him, written in a bad sharpie, which read ‘I’m a Space Odyssey: 2001 lawyer.’ I then said, “Other Neon. You’re horrible at this kind of stuff.”
Then the other Neon said, “I know, but, at least I can dream though. At least I can dream.”
Then there was a bit of a vibration inside the room. When other Neon felt this, he said, “Holy shit. What the fuck is that!”
Then the head opened and I was outside. I then landed on the ground and when I looked up to see what was happening, the giant Neo was shrinking.
Then, it ended with real alive Neon, with either Neon dead. I then asked Neon, “What the fuck just happened?”
Then Neon told me, “Oh, other Neon thought he could take me over by combining one another and take over Equestria. However, I was able to kill him from the inside. Anyways, I should get this dead lawyer body back to Lauren Faust.”
Then Neon opened up a portal to Earth and went back to Lauren Faust’s house. Then some pony behind me asked, “Who’s Lauren Faust?”
I then said to him, “Some bitch that you wouldn’t know.”
Well, that’s my response to everything. I can’t go without cursing at least one curse word. Anyways, what happen was Lauren was at her desk and it was still day light outside. She was finishing up on working on Pineapple Train Express to the Universe Star System Kids.
I kind of feel like that should be a thing in Equestria. Maybe I should tell some pony here later on to make that a thing. I mean, that should be a thing…everywhere as much as possible.
Well, she was about to leave for her meeting with Hasbro to show off her stuff, and just to let you know, Hasbro approved it and it was also going to have a toy line with it as well.
Anyways, right before Lauren was going to leave, a portal opened up and Neon jumped out with the dead lawyer’s body.
Then Neon said, “Here you go Mrs. Faust. I have a package delivery for you. It appears you have gotten one dead body.
Thank you for using Neon Express and we hope you have a good day with your dead lawyer body. Goodbye!”
Then Neon jumped back through the portal and the portal went away. Then Lauren looked at the dead body with shock. She then said, “Jeffery? Is that you? You’re a lawyer for A Space Odyssey: 2001? You traitor. I never want to talk to you again.”
She then left for her meeting. Then, I swear to you, The dead lawyer body produced a tear and I believe sad music played on in the background. It’s like something that you would hear if it was the forever alone guy.
Then Neon came back and everyone went on their normal way and pretend none of that just happened. Well, in other words, Stalia Day continued. Well then, it seems like they are worthy of having Stalia pride in them.
I mean, if they can ignore what just happened, then that means you don’t let anything bother you when it comes to what you want most.
In addition, no, I ain’t criticizing the town. I know, it’s shocking, like M. Night’s twists, except it ain’t bullshit.
Well, anyways, I then decided to say fuck it and go back home. Well, of course I didn’t go to sleep, although, I did go to Princess Molestia’s universe and were turned into a chick once again and had a decent to a good time.
Well, I did need a little break from all the shit I’ve got on me right now. Anyways, it was morning and as usual, I went to smoke my morning weed. However, as I was about to do so, I got the daily newspaper.
I usually get it every morning. However, this time, I was handed one, by that newspaper guy. What the fuck was his name again?
That’s right. His name was News Press. Well, News Press was all up in my face and was holding a newspaper right in front of me.
He then said to me, “Good morning Knight. Had sweet Dreams. Well guess what? No one gives a fuck. Now, I just printed your story all throughout last night. Then, we and the deliverers all delivered the newspapers. In fact, we disturbed them throughout Equestria! I even personally gave The Royal Sisters and Princess Twilight a copy of the Newspaper.
You’re going to be famous kid. You are on the front page. Here’s a copy for you Knight. Now good day to you fine sir.
Now, if you shall excuse me, I shall go and fight in a boxing match.” Then News Press left me with the newspaper. I do have to admit, it did make sense that he was going to a boxing match.
I mean, it is the 1920’s. Well, at least according to that pony. Anyways, I then read the front page.
The head line said, ‘PERSONAL STUDENT OF PRINCESS CELESTIA SAVES PRINCESS TWILIGHT FROM CERTAIN DEATH!!!’
Yea, apparently I was a hero now. That and the article was pretty much what I said to the other ponies before, so there is no point into wasting my ink here and tell you.
Although, it did say that I was a bit more than a hero, but a legend. Well. I wouldn’t call myself that. I would say I was an extraordinary pony. That or I was just an interesting guy, who some shit like that.
I don’t know, it’s like I’m trying to make a Great Gatsby joke here, which I failed horribly. Anyways, after I read it, I was hoping that Celestia, Luna, and Twilight didn’t get pissed at me. However, then a royal guard guy came up to me, and he said, “Princess Celestia has requested your presence.”
Then the guy pointed his hoof towards a chaiorit to take me to Cantorlot. Well, I got on, but Wolf wasn’t with me.
In fact, he was sleeping with Molestia and shit. Well, I was on my own on this one, but I didn’t feel like anything bad was going to happen. Well, I eventually got to Cantorlot, and the royal Guards escorted me to the throne room of Celestia.
I soon entered the room, and it looked like Celestia was half pissed at me, but at the same time confused as to what the fuck she read.
When I was near her, she said, “That will be all for now guards.”
Then the guards went their own way and went to guard the door or some shit like that. Then Celestia stared at me for a while.
She then asked me, “Do you know why you are here Knight?”
I then said, “Listen. I’m sorry I trashed the castle that one night. However, you have to understand that I, Jack, and Mac were reified and couldn’t control ourselves. However, I don’t feel bad for killing the guards though. I believe that one of them was a dick to me at one point while I was still at the school. And I had Twilight’s old room.”
Then Celestia just stared at me with shocked eyes. She then said, “Umm….what?”
I then said, “Nothing. I said absolutely nothing to you whatsoever. What you heard was your imagination…you bitch.”
Then Celestia, “Ok..Then… What I was trying to say Knight is that I brought you here for a reason. Well, more of to ask you something. Why were you at Manehatten in the first place?”
Celestia then threw down the newspaper right in front of me, which was the same one that I had. I then said, “Ummmm….for AIDS?”
Then Celestia just stared at me. “Listen Knight. I am not upset with…for the most part. In fact, I’m grateful that you were there in Manehatten. You saved one of the princesses Knight. That is a very good deed. You saved Twilight from being assassinated by a mare who knew no better but greed. Therefore, for that, I thank you.
However, I am even more amazed on what you can do. It stated in the article that you fought three robots and used a quick thinking method of creating fire and melted it.
I’m also amazed how you can threat others and fight the way you fought as it was described in the article. I’m even surprised that you thought of quick ways of getting out of a situation. However, what I am disappointed in you is that you drugged Twilight. You should have told her what was going on. In fact, you could’ve used her help a bit, don’t you agree?”
I then said, “Not really. I mean, I can usually handle this stuff on my own.”
Then Celestia continue to say, “Well, in my opinion, you should have gotten her help. That and you did drug her, which was wrong of you to do so. However, at least you got her back to her room saftly instead of leaving her there to get hurt by any pony who wished to do so. However, I am also disappointed in you that you killed some pony Knight. I expected better of you.”
I then said, “ Well, you killed some ponies before. So why I can’t I? Besides, it was in self-defense.”
Then Celestia said, “True. However, I had my reasons why I had to kill those ponies. Besides, it was hundreds of years ago when it happened. However, you did not have a reason to kill Horseshoes. You could have just brought her to the royal guards or even brought her to me and I would have taken care of her punishment. Of course, it would not have been death for her.”
I then said to her, “Are we done here? Because I have a lot of stuff to do and you’re pretty much taking up my time here.”
Then Celestia said, “Very well then. I believe you got the point.”
I then asked her, “So…I’m not being punished here?”
Then Celestia said to me, “Well, I was going to at least give you some sort of punishment. Nothing serious, however, you did save Twilight from death. So, I will forget about your punishment. However, I did bring you here to discuss with you of your mistakes. Also, may I ask you, have you learned anything else about friendship lately?”
I then aid, “yes I did.”
Then Celestia said, “Would you like to tell me in person then?”
I then said as I was walking away from her, “Nope.”
I can’t believe it either that she just let me go from there and not do other shit to me for not responding to her properly and shit. In addition, I technically didn’t save Twilight’s life.
Remember that Horseshoes thought I was the one who didn’t give her the Gala ticket. Moreover, I was a distraction or a dummy you might say, so Twilight would not have been killed.
I was like a Decoy or some shit like that. Anyways, I then took the train back to Stalia.
However, that train wasn’t going to live for three hours, but the next one was for Ponyville. Therefore, I decided to say fuck it and take that one instead.
Therefore, I took it and it was a bit of a long train ride, but I eventually got to Ponyville. It was about mid-day or so; however, I was cutting through the town, until the Mane 6 stop me.
I was walking and minding my own business, when Pinkie suddenly jumped me and started to hug the fuck out of me. In other words, she was hugging me to death. She was also saying thank you a bunch of times. I then said, with little air that I had in me, due to the hug I was given by Pinkie “Pinkie. I…can’t…breathe…”
Then she let go of me and she said, “Sorry Knight”
Then the other four came up to me. Twilight wasn’t there, but at her home. As the other four was coming towards me, Rainbow dash said to me, “There’s our hero who saved Twilight.”
I then said, “You read the newspaper?”
Then Rarity said, “Why of course darling? Why wouldn’t we? I mean, it is the most read newspaper in all of Equestria. When we read your article, we were so happy that you saved Twilight from certain doom. It would’ve been awful if you weren’t there.”
Then Fluttershy, with her soft voice, “Yes. We thank you for saving our friend. I know we don’t hang out that much with you, but we still would like to thank you for saving our friend.”
Then Pinkie said, all up in my face…bitch, “Yea. If you would have been there, she could’ve gone hurt! Or even worse! She could’ve even died!”
Then Rainbow Dash said, “Totally! So, to say our thanks, pinkie brought you these cupcakes from Sugar Cube Connor.”
I was then given a shit load of cupcakes. I didn’t eat any of it, because I didn’t trust Pinkie, for I believe the secret ingredient inside the cupcakes were intestines and shit, so I could trust her.
Then again, I can trust her more then what I can trust Neon with, but still. I then took the cupcakes and said, “Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that.”
Then Rainbow Dash said, “Of course we did! You saved our friends life, and we barley did anything for you, nor hang out as much.”
I then said, “Well, we mostly hung out when I was at Princess Celestia’s school and all. That and we don’t hang out as much, mostly because you guys never ask to hang out with me, because you think I’m busy with my other friends. Which, by the way, you are a bit right on that part.”
Then Rainbow Dahs said, “Well, ture. However, we’ve been meaning to ask you lately. Do you want to hang out anytime soon?”
Then, Twilight disturbed our conversation. She walked right up to me and looked a little bit pissed off at me. She then dragged my ass over back to her home and shit, while the other members of the Mane 6 tried to make sense of what was happening.
I then was in the tree with Twilight and she stared at me with a pissed off look. I then asked, “Why did you do that to me?”
Then Twilight said to me, “How could you even drug me!?”
She then showed me the newspaper, as if I didn’t see it enough already. Geeze, what bitch she was at the time.
Perhaps she was just on her period. I then said to her, “Well, you know what. the way the I did it was a lot better than explaining the situation to you.”
Then Twilight said to me, “You do realize that I could’ve helped you out and you didn’t have to kill horseshoes you know?”
Well then, I guess Celestia was right. No, wait, she isn’t. Mostly because, my way is better and she is a bitch. By the way, I should mention that the guard finally came back.
However, he didn’t come back with my ink, but he went and asked Celestia where the ink was. Apparently, I bribed a retarded guard.
So, how should I put this? Right now, standing behind me, as I am writing these words out as I am saying them aloud, Celestia is behind me and she is pissed off as shit right now.
In fact, she is not laughing at the joke that I made up and she is being a total bitch right now.
Now she just told me to quite fucking around and shit, finish up what I have to write down and go to bed. Well then, as I am deathly afraid of Celestia right now, as she is behind me hearing every word that I say, let’s continue on.
Therefore, I then said to Twilight, “Well, at least I saved your ass from being killed. Besides, I did all the work, while you did your other stuff that you had to do as a princess of Equestria.”
Then Twilight said, “You don’t understand Knight. I could’ve helped you out and it would’ve gone a lot smoother if you would have explained it to me.”
I then asked her, “How so?”
Then Twilight said, “Well…it would’ve gone like this…”
Now, I would wrote down what she was going to say, but the thing is that I actually went to an alternate universe of the Manehatten adventure, where I did explain shit to Twilight and she helped me out.
Well, I did still that alternate Universes Knight’s book he was writing in. Anyways, here’s what the alternate universe would have been like if Twilight helped out.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF CHAPTER 19 IF TWILIGHT HELPED OUT
Well, as I was thinking those thoughts that I had, Twilight thought we were going to go on a date.
Now, I then thought about it quickly, though things might be actually bad in there, and I gave up and told Twilight the entire situation I was having. I quickly gave her an explanation to what was going on, and she was shocked as to what was happening to me.
She then stood there for a while and said thought about it. She then asked me, “We have to go into the Nightclub to look for clues, right?”
I then nodded my head and she said, “Well then. Let’s go inside together. I Believe I can help you out.”
I then agreed to this, for I felt like was going to need her help and I felt like not getting my ass kicked.
I mean, I felt like that Robot from earlier was going to kick my ass inside if I walked into the club.
Well, we then entered the Nightclub together. The bitch that always takes your coat was also there, and was asking why a princess was doing at a Nightclub.
Well, Twilight just said that we‘re on a ‘mission’. Yea, we were on a mission from god. Hope fully Universal Studios won’t sue me for that link but if they ever do, I always have Neon on my side.
Anyways, the bitches then let us pass through and we started to look for any pony that could tell us where this mysterious pony was who was trying to kill me. Well, I eventually found that leader guy.
I then told Twilight who it was and how he could lead me to the pony who was trying to kill me.
\ However, she said to me, “I don’t think that’s a bright idea. It looks like he has some tough body guards.”
I then said to her, “Relax. I do this kind of shit all the time.”
I then showed her my moves and kick those guy’s asses and pretty much broke some sort of bone in their body. However, what I was about was that the robot from earlier was there to kick my ass.
It came down from like the ceiling I think. However, Twilight had my back, as she had a magical spell that she used to freeze the robot into place. Therefore, when the leader guy saw this, he knew he was fucked.
Therefore, he tried to run away, but Twilight got him in one of her levitation spells, but a real powerful one though.
I then asked the leader guy, “Where is this pony who’s trying to fucking kill me hiding at?!”
Then the leader guy said, “You’ll find her at the old Electric Company. Just, please, let me go.”
Then I said, “Well then. The electric company it is then. Let’s go Twilight.”
However, then Twilight stopped me in my tracks. She said, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea Knight. I’ve known this town for years and I’ve studied its history and all of its building, and the Electric Company is an abandoned place. In fact, it’s even dangerous die to it not being renovated or anything fixed in it. I think this might be a trap. I believe we should ask Celestia for some assistance.”
I then said, “Fine, we’ll do it your way.”
I agreed to it, mostly because I didn’t feel like complaining to Twilight. I mean, I was tired and shit, so I didn’t feel like doing anything and shit.
Therefore, Twilight somehow quickly sent a letter to Celestia and we waited outside of the Electric Company. While we were waiting, I have to admit, the Electric Company looks scary.
I mean, it looks like if something bad had happen there, like Rainbow Factory or something like that. Well, we waited for about two or three hours, but Celestia eventually came.
However, she didn’t came with any of her guards. When she landed, Celestia asked Twilight, “Twilight, Are you sure this is the place?”
Then Twilight nodded her head. Then Celestia said to both of us, “Alright then. Just be sure to stay behind me. This place is slowly starting to fall apart, that and whoever is trying to kill you Knight, this might be a trap.”
I then told Celestia, even though it does not matter, because I could handle this shit on my own, “Got it.”
We then entered, and when we were walking through, it was fucking creepy, I’ll tell you that for sure. I mean, I believe there was blood written on the walls and shit.
However, we eventually got to the place where we needed to go, which was somewhere in the heart of the building. We got there and we were attacked by two guy and another robot.
However with Celestia and Twilight being powerful alicorn and all, they took them down within seconds.
Therefore, we just progressed through the door, and we found out who was behind all of this and who pissed me off to kill this pony because they did this shit to me at night.
Well, it was a chick pony. When we entered in, the chick pony, who is strangely named Horse Shoes.
Yea, I don’t believe it either, but apparently the chick had retarded parents they named her Horse Shoes. Then again, she does have horseshoes as for a cutie mark, but what does that even mean?
Well, when we entered, she said to us, “Well then. it looks like you just had to tell Twilight and Celestia about this. You couldn’t just do this by yourself.”
Celestia then said to her, “I am only going to give you one warning, and that is it. You live me student, Knight, alone, or I will make sure you suffer for your actions that has been done tonight.”
Then Horseshoes said, “Oh, I would have left Knight alone. I would have, if he had given me the dam Gala Ticket. I even offered to do your garden for your Gala Ticket, but instead, you ignored me, just like every pony else.”
I then said to her, “Wait? What? I do not have a garden. Twilight has one.”
Then Horseshoes asked me, “Well, aren’t you Twilight Sparkle?”
I then said, “Nope you retarded bitch. In fact, the Twilight that you mentioned a bit earlier is the Twilight you’re looking for.”
Then Horseshoes said, “Oh. Well then. I feel quite embarrassed now. Do you mind if I kill her now.”
Then Celestia knocked her out and sent her with the royal guards to be imprisoned and shit. I then soon, we went our separate ways and shit. However, when I got back home…
BACK TO REGULAR KNIGHT
Yea, that’s about enough for right now. I mean, it also seems that alternate universe of me seems a bit lazy when it comes to writing. Well, thank god for me being me and shit.
Well, anyways, that is what pretty much what Twilight said to me, but better. I then said to Twilight, “Yea, I was still better off then you.”
Then twilight pointed out, “You could’ve died Knight. Those robots could have killed you.”
I then said to her, “Yea, but I got away, didn’t I?”
Then she said, “listen. Just don’t do it again, please? If you have a problem, just either asks me or Celestia.”
Then I said, as I showing my way out, “Yea, sure whatever bitch.”
I then left Twilight’s place and went on home back to Stalia. However, sense Stalia and Ponyville are so long away from one another, it took me almost all fucking day.
Eventually, I got to where I was going and got back to my house. When I got back to my house, Wolf was in the Molestia universe, being molested and shit.
I decided to take a bit of a rest and just sit on the couch. I did so, but for some odd reason, which I don’t know why, but I was teleported back into that ghostly like world.
Yea, it happened again. I once again was in that hallway type area and was looking like a ghost. I was in the hall way and all, but, I could find any pony there.
Nor did I hear a voice, until I heard a sound of sadness, or crying coming from a room. Then, I flowered the sound and I eventually found it. What I saw was, Fausticorn, with Celestia and Luna, as fillies and an old guy that had a top hat on and shit.
They were all-crying and were all huddled together and was very sad. Then, what I saw in front of them, was that child again, except it looked like he was sad.
In fact, I thought I could actually make out a tear, with him being blocked out by whatever causing that for me.
However, what I saw behind the child was a big black figure. However, he was the only one that wasn’t sad.
In fact, he looked pissed off, was impatient, and wanted to just go away from what was happening. Then, I heard a sad music play in the back ground, which I’ll admit, it’s real fitting for the mood of this.
I then started to hear the conversation. Fausticorn, said to, who I believe is Inca now, or in other words, the child. Well, she said to the child, “I..it..it’s going to be ok Inca. I promise you, it wi..will be.”
Then I heard the child say something, but his voice his blocked out to, but he said something to Fausticorn and it sounded like a begging sound.
Then Fausticorn responded to the child, “I know Inca, but you have to go. I’m sorry Inca, that I let you down.”
Then the child went up to Fausticorn and from the looks of it, hugged her. Then Fausticorn said to Inca, “Please Inca. Don’t make this harder then what it has to be. Listen, I know that you don’t want to go, but, maybe. Maybe one day, we will meet again. Maybe in a hundred years from now, we will meet again, and we could be together once more. Just…always remember… that… you will always will be my little sleeping colt.”
Then filly Celestia then said to Fausticorn, “But…we didn’t keep our promise to him mother.”
Then Fausticorn said, “I’m sure you were the best big sisters to him in the world.”
Then, as I was still trying to listen and not trying to tear up at the same time, even though I teared up a lot at this, because, well, I felt like I had something to do with it.
On the other hand, it was connected to me somehow. I didn’t know what at the time, but, it was sad to see this happen in front of my eyes. Then, Inca, then looked at filly Luna.
Luna said, “Good bye… little brother.”
Then Celestia said to Inca, “We’ll miss you.”
Then Inca gave a hug to Celestia and Luna. Then, Inca looked at the old guy and he said something.
However, with that old guy’s response, he said, “I’m sorry Inca, I can’t do anything to help you.”
Then, they all huddled together and gave a big, long hug. However, the block figure that wasn’t happy about this did say something and I was able to hear it.
He said, “Alright! Alright!!That’s enough! You had your fucking time to say your good bye! Now let’s move it you little piece of shit!”
Then the black figure dragged Inca along the floor, while Inca was struggling to brake free, however, unfortunately, he could not, for the black figure was too strong.
Then, both of them went through a portal and the portal closed, which It looked like for good. I just wanted to go and break that black figures neck.
I just wanted to fucking pound his face in or kill him, because, he just did that. He just took a small child and took it away from its family and shit. Fuck it man, I would usually never get this emotional with this kind of stuff, but, with this, now I do. However, once the portal closed, the old person slowly walked away, while Fausticorn, and the two fillies stayed there, as if the portal was still there.
Then, Celestia asked, “So, when would he be able to comeback mother?”
Then Fausticorn had that certain look on her face, as if she was guilty of something.
She then said to her young daughter, “That was a lie. The truth is, that we can never ever see Inca ever again. No matter what we do.”
Then Luna said to her mother, “But…you said…”
Then her mother cut her off and Fausticorn said, “I know what I said. However, I said that to Inca, so he would at least have some kind of hope in him while he is in that alternate Dimension. I couldn’t just let him leave and tell him that there would be no chance at all for us ever to see him again. It was hard enough as it is to get him to go. I couldn’t just let him go and while he’s away, he has no hope left in him. But at least, now he has some sort of hope in him, even if it was a lie, it will still do him good on the other side. Now, let’s get you girls to bed.”
Then Fausticorn and the two fillies followed their mother to their rooms to be put to bed. However, I followed them as well. As Luna as being tucked in, with a depressed face on Fausticorn and a sad face on Celestia and Luna, Luna asked, “But…can’t we just do something for him, so, we can get Inca back?”
Then Fausticorn said, “I wish that were true, but nothing can ever change his mind. He is forever lost to us, and we will never see him ever again. Good night girls.”
She then turned off the light and closed their door. Then, she slowly walked to her room, to which I followed as well. She opened up her double doors to her bedroom and softly closed it.
I then followed her inside the room and saw her go straight to a picture that what looked like Inca. I don’t know, it was still black out for me, but I was betting that Fausticon saw something different.
Then, she went up to the picture, grabbed it, and held it in her arms and cried. Then, I heard her say, “Oh…I..I. wish I could’ve done something Inca. I…I really wish th…that I could. I want you back Inca.”
She then cried away, while I was right behind, but in ghost form. I was really sad to see her like this way.
I didn’t want this to happen to her. I mean, with me, sure, I make a few jokes here and there I might seem like an asshole to my friends, but back in my adventuring days, I always never liked to see this happen to those that has lost and didn’t deserve it.
Well, I was wondering if Fausticorn could feel my ghostly presence, so I slowly touched her back.
I actually lightly touched her, till I was brought back into my universe, or in other words, the one that I still have to do shit in. Well, for my knowledge, when I lightly touched he back, she felt my presence. In fact, she said something weird. She said, “Inca?”
Then, I don’t know anything after that. Anyway, it’s clear what happened here.
Apparently, Celestia and Luna had a little brother. I’ll wait till you all setting fire to your computers, complaining on how this is bullshit.
That and you blaming the president for it or the Muslims. I’ll also wait while you guys decided to stop robbing stores and going into a random church and repenting for your sins, for you believe it’s the end of the world.
That and I’ll wait till you stop spending your life savings, for you believe the universe will explode due to what I just said. That and I’ll wait till every one’s done talking on message boards, giving rants, having riots through the streets, killing your wife, raping your dog, giving your cat a blow job for no odd reason at all.
That and saying it was the sinners fault and exploding shit and leaving the fandom because of it. Why do you people always take everything out of context?
I mean, sure, it doesn’t matter to me, since I’m in Equestria and shit, but really…you guys need to shut the fuck up and think about it for a bit before giving your cat a blowjob because there is no meaning to life anymore.
Well, anyways, as I was saying before you guys made hell on Earth. I appeared back on my couch, to where I was supposed to be.
Well, after the sad experiperience that I had, I went to go and get something from the kitchen. However, instead of being greeted by nothing, I was greeted by Neon’s face. I was then once again sacred of it.
Then Neon said, “Hello. So? Did you enjoy your vision ride you son of a bitch?”
I then said to Neon, “Wait…you know about I just saw?”
Then Neon said to me, “Of course I do silly billy son of a bitch. The Universe told me about it. Besides, I’m sure you saw a poor child being abused and shit.”
I then said, “No…I saw a child being taken away from his family forever and crying.”
Then Neon had a surprised look on his face. Then said to me, “Really!? That’s odd, because the universe told me you were supposed to see that child, in an alternate universe being abused by god and his sisters and was never loved.”
I then asked him, “Why was I supposed to see such a thing?”
Then Neon said, “Well, you were supposed to see an alternate universe of the little brother of Celestia and Luna, as if he was never loved in the first place.”
I then asked, “Why?”
Then Neon said, “Well…I can’t tell you, because the universe forbids me to.”
I then asked Neon, “What do you know about this Neon?”
Then Neon replied with, “Well, considering the fact that you saw something different that wasn’t what you were supposed to see, I have no idea. It looks like the universe has changed plans at the last second. Anyways, like I said, I can’t tell you.”
Then I said, “Let me think about this for a moment here. Let’s see here. It seems to me, that the child that I saw was a little borther of Celestia and Luna, and was the son of Fausticorn. However, why was I given this information? In fact, why is there no little brother right now that Celestia and Luna know of? Wait a second here…I might have a theory. I’m not sure if it’s correct or not, for I don’t have much evidence to 100% prove it. However, I believe that the little brother in this universe exists, however, he is lost and every pony has forgotten about him.”
It seemed like a good thought at the time. I mean, I have come across instances like that before. Like where I went into a universe, find a guy that doesn’t have much, however it turns out that he does have much, but has forgotten all about it something happened, like a time paradox.
So, basically me theory was, that the little brother could still exists here in this My Little Pony universe, however, something happened, and now no pony no longer remembers him. Not even his sisters or mother.
I mean, he could have ended up be in hiding somewhere. In fact, at the time, I had thought that this might have been the reason why I saw that ball of light out in the forests that one night.
Perhaps, he sent a signal to me, so I could help him out and so every pony can remember him. That could explain why I saw that broken tile once which gave me the idea to go to The My Little Pony universe in the first place.
However, the question was, Why would he choose me for such a task. I’m pretty sure there was plenty of others out there that could break him out more easily then how I would.
However, I the only way that I was going to find out was to find the brother and break him out. However, I didn’t know where to start. At the time, I had to inform TK and Factory Dash about, because they could possibly help and find some sort of clue that could lead me to his destination.
Anyways, Neon then said to me, “Maybe it is Knight. Maybe it is that way.”
Then I asked Neon, “Well, can you help me out or something?”
Then Neon said, “Nope. If I dare do so, the universe will have my ass for it.”
Then I asked, “Wait. Was this the only reason why you just broke into my house?”
Then neon said to me, “Nope. I was just wondering if you can come and meet Craig McCracken with me.”
I then said to him, “You mean, go and meet the guy who is married to Lauren Faust?”
Then Neon said, “Yup. I mean, He has wanted to meet you for a long time. I mean, I told him everything about you.”
I then asked, “Won’t Lauren Faust be surprised about seeing us there and asking why the fuck is there an animated pony and a random guy in the house?”
Then Neon said, “Relax Knight. She will be asleep when we go, so we won’t have any worries at all.”
I then said to Neon, “Fine then, but I’m only going because I’m curious how Craig is in person. I mean, he did make good shows and all, so I wouldn’t mind meeting the guy who made my childhood favorites.”
Then Neon said to me, “That’s the sprit old Sport!”
Then Neon opened up a portal and pushed me into it. Then, he jumped into it, while saying “Tally ho!”
Then I was back on Earth, in my human form of course. I was wearing my clothes from my adventuring days, which by technical standards, I was still in my adventuring days, but in a funny way.
I was wearing my black leather jacket, with my satchel and black cowboy hat as well. That and my dark blue jeans and black shows and my black shirt. Yea, it sounded like if I was an emo, but I wasn’t.
It just looked really good on me. I also still had my rugged shaved beard, or like that after five o’ clock shadow type of beard that I had on my.
Although, back in Equestria, it was completely shaved off, but, I still thought it looked good on me in the human world.
I also had my guns in one of the belts that I had on. Like a weapon hostel and shit. That ad I still had that short cur hair with my black hair and shit. Anyways, I was laying face down on the ground. I was outside a house, in the middle of the night, where can see all the stars, constellations, and shit.
That, and I was in a suburb and shit, and I was right behind a bush, somewhere in Pennsylvania. Well, I was also at the side of the house. I then got up and wiped the dirt from my cheeks, and was looking around and trying to figure out where the fuck I was.
Then, Neon came along and jumped on me, to which I then landed on my back. Then Neon yelled right in my fucking face, which strangely enough, he had some good breath. It smelled like tiger blood.
Well, Neon yelled, “Did you enjoy the fucking ride you fucking douche!?”
I then said to Neon, in a loud whisper, “Keep it down Neon. We don’t want to wake anyone up.”
Then Neon said, “You do realize that this neighborhood has heavy sleepers, right? I mean, this is a popular place for burglars to come and still stuff. I mean, they’re stealing stuff right now.”
Then Neon pointed his hoof to where there was a bunch of burglars breaking into homes and stealing shit.
They were also singing a catching tune while doing so. We love our job, It’s the best job in the world. We could never ever hate it, For we always get away with it now, We love our, We love it so dearly. We love break into peoples’ home, and teal all of their priceless jewels. We love to steal their fancy TV’s and their PS5’s. We also love to abuse their pets while we’re at it. We even go silently, into the children’s bedrooms. While they are dreaming of sugar plums dancing in their heads, We steal their toys and their board games, So we can, enjoy them as well. We even sell them on EBay. And sometime we just want a little fun, So, we take a knife and slit every one’s throat in the family. Then we back up the stuff and then we leave the house without a clue of us being there! And then we repeat process somewhere else, Such as a sleepy town, in sleepy hollow. We would even do it, in a big city, as long as it’s the hood part of the city. So we say good bye, to you my friend, for it is time for us to leave and rest from a good night’s stealing.
They then left in their dirty white vans and shit. I also have to give props to them for having such a good tune to listen to while they breaking into houses and shit.
Anyways, me and Neon then went to the back porch of the house and shit. I then looked through the glass, and the living room light was still on. I then saw him. I then saw my childhood…sort of hero…kind of.
I saw Craig McCracken, sitting in a reclining chair, watching TV, while drinking beer. I felt absolutely nothing at all, and it was pointless to write that down.
Then, Neon broke the back door and was inside the house, and surprisingly, no alarms were tripped, since the house was under ADT protection and shit.
Even though it is useless, because all they do is send police with blankets and hot coco to your house if some trips the alarm and shit.
Well, I walked through the broken back door, however, I asked Neon, “Aren’t you supposed to knock on the front door or something?”
Then Neon said to me, “Nope.”
Neon then walked away and went to Craig. I then followed him as well and shit. Then, Neon walked up to Craig, and he said, “Hey Craig! How’s it going?”
Then Craig said, “Hey Neon, what’s up? I also see that you brought Knight along with you.”
I then walked up to Craig and said to him, “Meh, this isn’t anything special.”
Then Craig asked, “What is he talking about?”
Then Neon said to him, “Oh, he said he wanted to meet you as well, mostly because you are sort of his childhood hero.” Then Craig said, “Well then. That’s cool. Well, I’m bored now. I was planning on heading over to the bar, you guys want to come?”
Then Neon said, “HELL! FUCKING! YES!”
I then said, “Wait, don’t you have like work tomorrow or something?”
Then Craig said, “What are you talking about? I’ve always went to the bar late at night. I mean, even Lauren doesn’t know about it.”
I then asked, “Ok then. But, what about the broken glass? Won’t that worry your wife or something?”
Then Craig said, “Hold on for one moment.”
Then Craig went to a freezer in the garage, pulled out a freshly killed raccoon, and put on the floor. Then he said, “Now she will think that the raccoon was suicidal and jumped through our window.”
I then asked him, “But what if your wife asks you where you have been and shit?”
Then Craig answered, “I do this all the time. What usually happens is that Me and Neon goes drinking, come back home drunk ass shitless, go to bed, while my wife screams bloody murder. Then, she calls animal control and the police and she get’s scared for a bit and then shrugs it off as a terriost attack.”
I then asked, “What?”
Then Craig handed me the keys to his car and he said to me, “I call shotgun. That, and you’re driving, since I’m a bit drunk already.”
I then asked, “Ok then, but what about the other times then? You just let Neon drive then?”
If he would have said yes, then the world would have been doomed already. However, Craig said, “Nope. I just drive drunk. All right then, let’s go.”
We all then went into the garage and got into the car. Now, at the time, I haven’t been behind the wheel for a long ass time, so my driving skills were a bit rusty, but it would’ve been all right.
Therefore, I got in, opened the garage door, and we headed off to the bar. That and Craig gave me the directions to the bar, just in case for those people who needs exactly everything said to them. We were on the road and we had a bit of a conversation.
I won’t go into it, because it was sort of pointless, but laughs were passed around as well. However, then I turn the radio on, and the song ‘ Cats in the Cradle’
We all then took turns singing a verse. My verse was… My child arrived just the other day, He came into the world in the usual way, But there were planes to catch and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was away, And he was talkn’ ‘fore I knew it, And as he grew, He’d say “I’m going to be like you dad. You I’m going to be like you.”
Then we all sang in unision… And the cats and the cradle, And the sliver spoon little blue boy, And the Man on the moon When you’re comin’ home dad? I don’t when, but we’ll get together then, You’ll know we’ll have a good time then.
Then Crack sang his verse, which was… My son turned ten just the other day, He said, “Thanks for the ball, dad. Com on and let’s play. Can you teach me to throw.” I said “Not today I got a lot to do”, He said, “That’s ok.” And he walked away, But his smile never dimmed, And he said, “I’m going to be like him, yea, You know I’m gonna be like him.”
Then we all sung the unison part once more. Then, it was Neon’s turn to sing a verse, which was… Well, he came from college just the other day. So much like a man I had to say “Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?” He shook his head and said with a smile “What I’d really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later, can I have them please.”
Then we once again all sung the unison part. Then Craig sang his part of the song. His part was… I’ve longed sing retired, My son’s moved away> I called him up, Just the other day. I said “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind.” He said, “I’d love to ,Dad, if I can find the time. You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu, But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad, It’s been sure nice talking to you.” And as I hung up the phone, It occurred to me, He’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.
Then we sung the unison part once more, and the song ended from there. It then went dead silence from there and I eventually spoke up.
I said, “That was a classic 60’s song.”
Then Craig said to me, “No…that’s not a 60’s song. That was 70’s.”
I then said, “I’m sorry Craig, but I’m afraid you’re wrong. It came out during the 60’s. It had to have come out. It sounds like it.”
Then Craig said, “Listen. I was born in the 70’s, and I know my 70’s. That song came out in 74’.”
Then I said. “No! No! No1 That song came out in the 60’s, and you know it Craig! It came out in the 60’s, just like the song, ‘The Night the lights went out in Georgia.’”
Then Craig argued, “Nope that song also came out In the 70’s.”
Then we started to have an argument about the song’s release. While this was happening, Neon somehow teleported a guy into the car. Then, he brutally killed him and threw his body out the window.
However, he then took his phone, and looked up the songs that we were arguing about.
Then, I said to Craig, “It came out in the fucking 60’s dude!”
Then we continued to argue some more, to which I then stopped the car, and Craig hurt his nose a bit. He didn’t bleed or anything, he just hit his head or nose on the dash board.
I then continued to accelerate the car. I then said to Craig, “You see. That’s what you get Craig McCracken, when you don’t agree with me.”
We then got to the bar, without Neon doing some crazy shit. I then parked the car, and I said, “Ok then. We’ll just stay here for a while, and then we’ll go back home, got it?”
Then Craig said, “Fuck it man. I’m going to stay here the whole night. Lets party mother fucker!”
Then Craig was about half way out of the car until Neon spoke up, “Knight. Cats and the Cradle came out in the 70’s.”
I then yelled, “ FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!”
I said that really loud in the car. However, Craig didn’t care, and continued to proceed to the bar. Then as Neon was getting out, he said to me, ‘Also, ‘the night the lights went out in Georgia’ also came out in the 70’s as well.”
I then hit my head on the horn as Neon got out of the car, for being such a dumbass to think those songs came out in the 60’s and shit.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to bed so Celestia doesn’t kick my ass.
Well then,…shit. it looks like they had to send in the black guy again. Ok then, so what the fuck do we have here? It seems that we have a dead hobo body, that looks like a black guy pony.
Well what do we have here now? That is good for a change. Finally doing a black guy that’s not racist to his own kind.
Well then, let’s read his adventure. When the royal guards took the dead body away, his hooves and legs were dragged on the ground and picked up some shit. The dead body was then thrown into a carriage, which was a cell type carriage.
It was thrown into a cell already occupied by some other living breathing white pony.
Then the pony asked the dead body, “I guess they got you too, huh? So, what are you in for?”
Then the dead body of course did not say a word.
Then the pony said, “Sounds harsh. You know you should not be in for what you have done. It wasn’t your fault. I mean, I was in the same situation. I didn’t mean to kill the guy. He just died on his own and they thought I poisoned him. I can just tell that we’re going to get along in the dungeon till we get a fair trial in Cantorlot.”
Then they both somehow talk through the night and shared stories of days past and sang songs together. Soon, they arrived at their destination, which was the dungeon area.
They were soon was forced to walk to their cell, and somehow the dead body walked, but, let’s say it was creepy as fuck. It seems like these ponies have seen everything, really. Anyways, they were both in their dungeons; however, all prisoners were treated fairly.
They were given their foods and bathed daily. However, one day, they got a new cellmate. It was a tough pony who had killed a guy over a cherry.
He was big strong pony and had those killing looks in his eyes. Soon, when the tough pony saw his new cellmates, he looked at the one who was alive.
He licked his lips and he started to have an organism and was thinking of all the things he was going to do to him.
He then went up to the pony, and started to rape him. The pony cried for help, but it was full of the tough pony’s big dirty cock that he was forced to suck.
The pony tried to motion the dead body to call for help, but the dead body did absolutely nothing.
Then the tough pony saw this and started to beat the pony to a bloody pulp for trying to get help.
Eventually, a guard saw this happening and tried to get the two ponies apart, but the tough pony just knocked him out and made run for it.
The pony was in very bad shape, so he could not walk, move, or do anything really.
I mean, his fucking legs were broken and bleeding everywhere. He was pretty much going to become a vegetable for the rest of his life.
Therefore, the pony looked at the dead hobo body, the best he could, sense he had black eyes.
He said to the dead hobo body, “Dead hobo body. You have to make a run for it. This is your chance. Be free.”
Then the dead hobo body didn’t say a word, but somehow, according to the guy, he did say something.
The pony’s response was, “Don’t worry about me dead hobo body. I’ll be fine. I haven’t had anything else to live for anyway. You have to do this. Make a break for it. for our friendship.”
Then there was a moment of silence once more and the pony said, “Perhaps we will meet again one day dead hobo body. Perhaps we will. Maybe, in another life, in another time. Maybe, just maybe…if the universe lets us that is. We will meet again in another life, in another time period. Sure, we will not remember each other dead hobo body. However, we will have a weird Déjà vu come to us, wondering where we have seen each other. I mean, you will have your same birth mark as before.”
In addition, it turns out that the dead hobo body had a shooting star birthmark.
Then the pony continued to say, “You see… my friend. We are all connected one way or another. So don’t give up hope on us seeing each other one day again. Besides, we will perhaps come across a pony named Tom Hanks and he will be either a douchebag or a hero of some sort. So, I bid you…a good day my friend.”
Then the dead hobo body slowly somehow fucking walked past the cell doors. However, before he made his escape, he looked back at his friend, and somehow had a very creepy smile on his face.
Then, he somehow ran and escaped. Of course, it was late at night and he was running for his life and guards were everywhere, trying to look for him, but he escaped.
Soon, he went into the woods and tried to find a new home. Meanwhile, there was a small group living in a cabin in the woods.
Now, there was not any sacrificing going on to Joss Wedon of course and having that white guy from Thor and from that cabin in the woods movie are here.
The youngest of the group, a boy, who was doing chores around the cabin. The boy had lost his parents; however, somehow he killed the ponies that were trying to help him find a new home and escaped to find a home that took him in. Not sure, if that’s ironic there, but, still though. Well, the boy was doing chores, the bitch was cleaning the cabin while the husband just read the Equestria Daily News.
The boy was chopping wood up for the fire and for other useless shit, maybe raping it the dam thing.
You know, sense all white guy do that. Well, the boy was chopping up wood with the hot Celestia’s summer sun beating down his neck.
He then said to the husband of the bitch, “May I take a break sir for a while?”
Then the husband guy said, “Sure, why not? You worked hard enough, didn’t you?”
Then the boy walked a bit far from the home. He then looked for a bit to sit down under a nice big tree. Perhaps a tree that had some shade so he could relax and perhaps take a nap for an hour or two.
The boy eventually found the tree that he was looking for and he got under it and started to feel relax.
Soon… he did and he was dozing off into dreamland. Then, he heard a noise. The noise had startled him so much; he grabbed a fucking stick to defend himself.
Well then, you can clearly tell that he is a dumbass. Maybe his parents gave him up because he was a retard.
Well, the boy saw a figure shadow from under one of the trees. He ordered it to come out, and the dead hobo body slowly revealed itself to the boy.
Then the boy had a strange odd look on his face.
He then said to the dead hobo body, “what’s wrong little guy? Are you lost?”
Then the dead hobo body just backed up away from the boy that he shows fear. That doesn’t make a lick of fucking sense. How does a dead body show fear? I swear, I was better off narrating that Shaw shank place.
Well, anyway, the boy said to the dead body, “No. Don’t be afraid of me. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Then the boy then somewhere grabbed a treat that he just happened to have on him. Unless he found a tree that fucking grow food, I suggest that he killed someone for it on his way to the tree.
Well anyway, the body looked at it with caution, but slowly took a bite of it. Then, it liked it, and wanted some more. Then, the boy took out more and gave it to the dead body. Soon, the dead body got comfortable around the boy, that he took a liking to him.
The dead body eventually got close to the boy and the boy hugged it.
Then the boy said to the dead body, “Well then. It seems that you don’t have an owner, do you?”
Then the dead body did absolutely nothing at all. In addition, I’m sure having a dead hobo body as a pet is illegal in Equestria.
Anyways, then the boy said, “Well, that’s going to change. How about I give you a name first. How about dead hobo body. That fits you perfectly. Come on, let’s go see me not-so-real dad.”
Then the boy got up and started his way back home. As he was walking, the dead hobo body joyfully followed him.
He eventually got back to the cabin and the husband asked, “What took you so long. It’s about dinner time.”
Then the boy said, “Yes, however, I found this stray animal in the woods without anybody. I was wondering if I can keep him.”
Then the husband guy said, “I don’t know. He could have rabies.”
Then the boy said, “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssssssssseeeeeeeeee?”
Then the husband guy said, “Well, all right then. However, you had better look after him. I’m not responsible for him.”
Then the boy said to his papa, "Oh I will dad, I'll take real good care of him."
Then the boy had a smile on his face, while the dead hobo body had pretty much the same thing as well.
Then the boy said to the dead hobo body, “Come on buddy, let’s go play back in the yard.”
Then the dead body agreed and showed it with a bark somehow and they both cheerfully played together.
Then the husband started to watch the two of them play together, and he said to his bitch of a wife, “Ain’t this amazing. A boy and his dead hobo body.”
Then the bitch of a wife said to him, “You know eventually that dog will have to do some work around the place if he wants to be part of this family.”
Then the husband said, “Let’s not worry about that now. Let the boy have fun with his dead hobo body. Besides, he sort of deserves it.”
Then the bitch of a wife said, “Well, along as it pays the bills. Now come on and eat now, your dinner is getting cold. You too boy! Come on in and eat! I’ll fix your dog something to eat.”
Then, they all ate in the cabin and had a nice day together. Well, to make it a long story’s short, let’s skip to the ending of this relationship so we can all move on with our racist lives.
Then, for about 3 years later or god knows how long, I don't get paid to keep track of the time, it was a quiet day. The bitch was cleaning while the boy was writing a letter to someone, while the dead hobo body was resting. Then, the husband came in with the Equestria Daily News, and came in with bad news. He then said to every pony in the room, “Well, I’ve got some bad news for you all. This cabin is getting foreclosed on.”
Then the bitch said, “But we were paying our bills. How could this be?”
Then the husband said, “Well, somehow the economy has gone bad. Not even the Princesses can’t even fix this, although there are some sources and reports coming in that they’ve been having a blue unicorn who seems to have a cowpony hat on enter and leave the castle from time to time.”
Then the bitch said, “Well does any pony know who he is?”
Then the husband said, “That’s the thing. No one knows who he is. He is sometime seen carrying a briefcase with him. That and sometimes a pony who is completely covered in black armor is sometimes flowering him. However, ever since this blue unicorn has been seeing the princesses, he has been slowly starting to get the Economy back on track. In fact, he’s starting to make it even better then it was before in some places. However, we’re not lucky enough to be in an area where the economy is getting better. So unfortunately, we’re losing our home.”
Then the boy was outraged and protested, “That’s not fair. We should tell that blue fancy unicorn to help this area out instead of those other ones. They already have helped, what about us?”
Then the husband said, “Now, let’s not get too hasty. I’ve checked with the bank and we have enough money to start fresh. Perhaps somewhere the economy is better. However, you will have to abandon your dead hobo body pet.”
Then the boy was shocked and did not have words to express what he was feeling right that moment.
Then the husband guy said, “Come over here. let’s have a little talk.”
Then the boy refused to do so and said, “No! You can’t make me do this you son of a bitch! You can’t just make me give up my best friend in the whole wide world!”
Then the husband guy said, “Now we all have to make sacrifices if we want to start off a new life.” Then the boy said, “I don’t want a new life!”
Then the husband said, “Listen, either the dead hobo body leaves, or you leave, along with your pet. It’s your choice.”
Then the boy looked back at the husband guy and at the dead hobo body.
Then he said, “Give me a few minutes with him outside, along with something that will make a loud noise and an axe.”
Then the husband guy nodded and soon the boy and the dead hobo body was outside.
In addition, I still can’t believe how long this guy’s life is. Anyways, the dead hobo body and the boy was outside.
They were about somewhat a good distance from the house, and the dead hobo body was there, wondering what the fuck was going on. The boy had a very sad look on his face, all because he had to give up his only weird dead pet friend, dead hobo body. Well, the boy put the things that make loud noises when it goes off and had about three of them.
Then the boy said to the dead hobo body, “I’m sorry that I have to do this do you boy. I mean, I do not want to, but I have to. It is… for the best. I mean, you will be able to go back into the wild and have a good life. Maybe even make some friend with other animals, such as a raping duck. That and it’ll be good for me to move to another town, so I can have other friends. However, sometimes, you were a douchebag dead hobo body. Go on then. Go!”
Then the boy lit one of those things that make noise and it went off. It made a loud pop sound however; it made a sound similar to when a shotgun has been fired.
I think that is what he was going for. Well, the dead hobo body did not move a single inch. In fact, he just stood there, confused not knowing what to do. In fact, he had thought this was a sex thing.
Apparently dead hobo bodies were not taught properly when they were young. Now it is starting to sound like dead hobo bodies are a new type of animals now, isn’t it? Well, anyways, the noise maker thingy made a little smoke, and when the smoke cleared, the dead hobo body was still there.
Then the boy yelled at the dead hobo body, “Dam it! I said get on out of here! Go on then! get!” Then he lit another match and set the next noise maker thingy off. The light eventually reached the thing that sets off the noise.
Then the noise thingy jumped up about…I don’t fucking know.
Maybe 20 or 30 feet in the air, like how a bullet would be. Well then, the dead hobo body was still there, although he was a bit startled and thought he should leave, however, he then thought of something else.
He had thought, maybe this is more than a sex thing. Maybe this is S&M. then, then dead hobo body was trying to figure out the safety word, which he had thought it was crackers.
Well, the boy was sure this time around that the dead hobo body was up and left the area, but when the smoke cleared, he had found out that he was wrong. Then the dead hobo body said, “Crackers.”
Then the boy has a tear form in his eye and it slowly came down his cheek. He was thinking of how nice it sounded and then thought of all the good time.
He then thought about giving up on trying to get rid of him, but he knew this was for the best, and pushed those good memories aside.
He then looked at the dead hobo body and said, ‘Didn’t you hear me the first dam time! don’t try to make this even harder on me! You are only going to make this worse for yourself in the end! Now last chance. Get boy! Get… before you know what’s coming to you!! I said get now!!! Get on walking over there and never come back! For your own good!”
Then the boy lit the last match and lit the last noisemaker thingy. Once again, the fire went and reached the thing that sets off the noise.
When it did, it had a different sound to it this time. It sounded like whenever you put a kangaroo up a donkey’s asshole, while fucking a tiger that has AIDS, while you are eating buffalo shit and you down it with beer.
Then you see a dying giraffe that is being raped by an alligator, while drinking jizz from a skunk while it’s balls are being ripped off by an ape, while it’s eyes sockets are being burned alive.
Surprised, aren’t you? It sounds like a dying giraffe with a dildo up its ass while stepping in some shit because it had a bad day. Need I say more? Well, as soon as the smoke cleared this time, instead of the boy being ferrous and the dead hobo body being afraid, they just stood there.
They just stood there and looked into each other’s eyes, trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened. I mean, that is a sound that you don’t normally hear every day. Then again, it is not every day that you get narrated by Morgan Freeman.
So, after each of them was staring at each other, then the boy finally was out of his weird trance, and was mad as hell. He then grabbed his axe…somehow, considering the fact that he was an Earth Pony. In matter of fact, how does an Earth Pony have a grip on things anyway?
I mean, I would understand how it would be possible if the pony were black, because, you know. He’s black and shit. Maybe they can bend their hooves. I don’t know. Morgan Freeman doesn’t watch My Little Pony, because I’m always too busy pimping out with Jesus and God in heaven.
I mean, come on, we have some fine ass honeys with us at a dance club at a table every night.
It’s badass and we get drunk off our asses too. Anyways, I guess it would make sense, although I’m guessing some Bronies would know.
Well, whatever, it’s not black guy related, so let’s just move on. Well, as I said, the by grabbed the axe, and went up very close to the dead hobo body. When he got up close, he had those killing looks in his eyes and then raised the axe up high in the air.
The dead hobo body flinched a bit, by thought about it for a second time and thought that they were both playing a little game together. Then the dead hobo body then screamed at him.
However, a scream is what it took for the dead hobo body to leave. However, the dead hobo body ran for a bit, and was about three or four yards away from the boy.
The boy had thought he was going to run away and won’t stop, so he decided to walk away. However, the boy checked back to make sure he continued to run, however, he did not.
Therefore, the boy had an even more angry face on him, he ran towards the dead hobo body with the axe, and he threw it at him.
The dead hobo body didn’t get hit, but it was very close though. Hit it a tree near the trunk of it.
Then the dead hobo body continued to run and didn’t look back. Soon the boy retunred to the husband guy with a sad face on.
Then the husband guy was waiting for him and had seen the whole thing. He then looked at the boy and was a bit proud of what he did.
He then said, “Well, I’m a bit proud of you boy. You did the right thing. It was for the best for both of you.”
Then the boy had tears starting to form and run down his face. He then replied to the guy, “Was it right pa? was it right to drive him away? Was it right to drive my only family away?”
Then he went back into the cabin. Also, why the fuck does the boy call the husband guy, ‘pa’? That makes no sense at all. Then again, I’m a black guy in a white guy show, so it doesn’t matter if I ask it or not. Anyways, later that night, the boy was in his room, looking up at the ceiling.
He wondering if god hated him or I should say Fausticorn that is. Well, let me tell you, Fausticorn has not time with your shit. Neither Korean Fausticorn in an alternate universe.
She busy with Korean shit. and if Ice Cube ever finds me for saying a quote that he said in 21 Jump Street, I’ll kick his ass with no problem.
Besides, how is he going to come up to heaven if he’s going to hell besides, god has a shit list and all.
I’m also surprised that Obama is on the list as well. Strange isn’t it? The first black guy as president, and he’s going to hell. Then again, it’s a black guy thing and only black guys would understand, and not any of you white people would.
Therefore, the husband guy went into the boy’s room and told him, “listen. I know it has been a rough day for you. However, I just wanted to let you know, that what you did was a good sacrifice. Look on the bright side, the dead hobo body might just end up being killed and skinned alive for his fur.That and you get to continue living with us. We’re leaving in the morning on a ship to Manehatten.”
Then the husband guy left and the boy got off the bed and started packing. He was packing his cloths and shit, and eventually came across an old photo of him and his dead hobo body. When he saw it, he cried. The next day, the family, which I think it is a family, was at the shipyard.
It was busy with a shitload of ponies. Ponies had shipments to make while other was trying to sell some of their shit, such as fruit. Some were hauling cargo onto a ship.
With the family, those were in an open carriage. They had all of their suitcases and bags and trunks as well loaded onto the carriage.
They were near their ship that they were going to take off on. When they got near it, some ponies got the luggage and put it on board with the other pony’s luggage.
They were then about to climb on board. They were on the boardwalk and the boy stopped.
He was so close to getting on the ship, but he didn’t. The husband guy asked him, “What is wrong with you boy? Are you ok? Is there something?”
Then the boy once again came out of his trance and then said to the husband guy, “No. I’m not going with you. I’m going back for dead hobo body. I don’t care if he can’t come or not. I don’t care if I’m not even part of this family no more! Dam it! he’s my family, and not you or anyone at this dam ship is going to tell me otherwise. So fuck you and have a nice day!”
Then the boy went off walked all the way back to the an abandoned cabin. He then started a fire and fixed the place up a bit. Then, as he was working outside, the dead hobo body saw him.
He had wanted to see if any dead bodies were hidden inside the cabin after the family had left, so he could maybe make some friends with.
However, he saw his old owner, and saw him have a happy face on. Then the dead hobo body started to run towards his old owner and with cheer in his heart.
Soon, they both came together and were happy has shit. Then the boy said to the dead hobo body, “I promise that I won’t ever leave you again.”
Then, they both went inside an had a meal together. As time went on, two years had went by, and somehow the Pony was old as shit.
I don’t understand that. He was young not two years ago, but now he’s on his death bed.
In fact, how the fuck does a pony age here anyway in this dam place? It doesn’t make quite much sense, but apparently it does so to Knight and every pony else.
Whatever, you white guys can have whatever you want. I’ll stay to my Morgan freeman shit.
Well, anyways, the boy was in his rocking chair that he had made, sitting by the fire. The dead hobo body was sleeping right next to him. It was snowing outside and it was cold as fuck.
The boy was about to die. Then he quietly woke up the dead hobo body, and said, “Listen. I know… we had fun times. We had fond memories…, I’ll never forget those fond memories, and I shall forever cherish them in my heart. However, I think it’s time for you to go. Now, I’m not trying to kick you out or anything, however, as you can tell, I have lived a long live and I am now on my death bed. I want you to be free. You still have a long life ahead of you. Go on out there and make something of yourself dead hobo body. It’s best if you do so.”
Then the dead hobo body was sad, sense his old owner was about to do die.
Then the boy said, “Don’t be sad boy. Perhaps, we will meet each other again one day, in another life. In another decade perhaps. We will meet again one day. I promise you that.”
Then the dead hobo body licked the owner’s face, in which the lick had blood all over it. Then the owner had a smile on his face.
Then he said to his dead hobo body, “Now go on dead hobo body. Go on and make something of yourself. Make something of yourself, which the world will appreciate of you.”
Then the dead hobo body slowly walked out of the cabin. However, as he was doing so, Knight and a metal enemy of his crashed through the cabin. The metal enemy was knocked out for a bit and Knight took a second to look to where he was. Knight said, “Where the fuck am I?”
Then Knight noticed Dead hobo body and he said, “Oh. It’s dead hobo body. Didn’t think I’ll see you ever again. Well then, well played.”
Then Knight’s metal enemy got back up and he started to fight again. Then the metal enemy used his rockets whatever the fuck they are called and got the fuck out of there.
Then Dead Hobo Body decided not to make sense of what the fuck just happened, even though it was his old friend Knight. Dead hobo body then looked back, and knew that his owner was dead.
Therefore, the dead hobo body went out into the cold winter night, and saw Luna’s moon high in the sky, along with the stars so up above.
Then he went through the woods and didn’t look back. However, the owner really wasn’t dead, but was a robot. The head opened up and somehow that little green alien from the Jetsons or the Flintstones was there.
You know, that little green alien that was there and talked to that ginger guy in the Jestsons? come on? You white people should all know that by now, should you?
Well, anyways, he opened up the face and said, “Dam it! I fucked up again! This is Bullshit! That Jetson guy ripped me off! next time I see him, I’ll get my gang together and kick his ass! Then I’m going to rape his wife! I can’t believe this alternate universe teleported life thing doesn’t work.”
Then the little alien guy was gone. Soon, the dead hobo body was in the forest and was looking at the stars.
He eventually got to where he was going at, in which it was Manehatten. He was one of many ponies going to Manehatten. Mostly to find work. Many colts had heard there were plenty of jobs available that were in need.
In fact, there was a job to build walls, because there were giant monsters that came from another dimension form beneath the sea that were sent by aliens to kill them.
Well, they were building the walls and Dead Hobo Body was sin an area in which he was called along with many others because there was an announcement to be made.
A random pony made the announcement, and said to every pony, “Alright, I’ve got good news and bad news! The bad news is that four ponies died today from falling off the structure. The good news is that I have four job openings. Who wants to die today?!”
well, dead hobo body was one of the lucky ones and got one of the jobs. His job was to make sure no construction worker rapes a hot mare.
Well, he did his job every well, because it was a pointless job sense all the workers were married colts.
However, dead hobo body got paid for nothing anyway. Although it does not make quite much sense how a pony died from the structure if he was meant to be on the ground.
Maybe he got bored so he played on top of the structure. Then again, that would have been a retard that would have done that.
So most likely, the pony that previously had the job was suicidal from having the job. That makes more sense than the retard one.
Yes, it sure does, because I’m a black guy, and chances are, you’re white. However, if you’re not, then I welcome you my friend to being black. That’s enough said before I get a shitload of angry mail letter, then again I can just burn them sense I’m Morgan Freeman and shit.
Therefore, dead hobo body had been getting used to his new line of work and it was a month until he got used to it.
Dead hobo body was happy that he had it and was in his small apartment that he could afford for his salary. He had a candle light going on by his beside, until he heard voices in the hall.
When he heard them, he had just thought it was domestic disturbance and was going to let whatever happen to the poor bitch happen. However, he had recognized the voices.
Then, he jumped up and was about to go out the window, until a Russell crow like pony opened the door and started to sing like in Les Miserable’s.
The crow pony said, “24601! I have finally found you! After all these long years! I have finally found you! You may have thought you have escaped me 24601! However, you are wrong! And now you shall come back with me so you can forever rot in your hell hole in prison!!”
Then dead hobo body started to sing as well and then he said to the crow pony, “I swear it wasn’t me! You know it wasn’t me! It was an accident! Now let me free! I did not do it at all! And you know that for a fact! Besides that guy did it himself!!”
Then the crow pony said, “You lie! You lie with sin!! I remember you that night! at the bar in this very city! There was an Irish pony fight! A revolution that happened that night! I saw you do it from the corner of my eye! Now come back with me so you shall pay your debts that will never be paid!”
Then dead hobo body said, or should say sing, since this is a Les Miserable’s moment, “That is where you are wrong sir. I shall not pay my debts. God knows that I am a good colt. She knows that I have done nothing wrong. Besides, why should I even go back the place where I was treated unfairly?!”
Then the crow pony singed, “I have a message for you. Do you recall your old cell mate? The one that you spent your time with. The one who was your only friend in prison? He died this morning, and I was beside him. he begged of me not to go after you. he said he would pay me all that he has got in his old bank account if I let you go. However, since I hold up the law. I refused it and he cried till he died. And now I shall bring you back to the very same prison and you shall be there, till the end of your days.”
Then dead hobo body singed, “After all of these years, he’s finally dead. Moreover, you refused his only death wish, of me being set free. I shall not go back with you. Besides what could you do to stop me?”
Then the crow pony slowly slid his sword. Then he sold it to dead hobo body and then dead hobo body looked around the room and tries to find something to defend him with. Then he just happened to have a sword in his room that was just like that crow pony’s one. Then they start to have a duel.
While they were having the duel, apparently, the music from Les Miserable’s started to play and the crow pony singed, “24601!”
Then while the crow pony was saying the dead hobo body was singing, “I shall not go.”
Then the fighting lasted for about a good five minutes, and when dead hobo body was out the window and happened to be on some rope, he sung, “I knew you wouldn’t kill me. You know that I did everything right in my life!”
Then the dead hobo body disappeared and the crow pony was left alone in the room. Then in the background, the music was soft and the crow pony looked like he was depressed as shit. Then the crow pony went to the roof of the building and looked upon Luna’s night and started to sing once more.
Crow singed, “have I became this colt? Have I changed my ways? I have hold up the law for so many years. I have not let one prisoner out of my sight. I didn’t even let them go nor feel sorry for them. Maybe I he is right. He did nothing wrong. No! An accident or not, he still has to pay for his crimes. Besides, I know that a criminal lies no matter what. I am a gentlecolt of the law and I shall be loyal to the law. I shall find him one day and I shall kill him one day. I will always be loyal to the law and to the royal sisters! I swear on Luna’s night! That I will catch him, and if I don’t let my soul forever be n purgatory!”
In addition, the crow pony was also very close from the edge and falling down and becoming a flat pancake.
Well, the thing is, he’s not emo enough to do so. Well, Luna’s night soon vanished and turn into Celestia’s morning sun.
Soon, every pony in Manehatten was all up and about doing some sort of shit. In fact, there was a bar or the pub I should say, that was getting ready for business. Inside the bar were tables and wooden chairs. In fact, it was filthy as shit.
Then a random blond bitch pony with crooked teeth was looking over things. Then there was a small girl that was sad and depressed as shit.
She was moping the floors and the blond bitch pony noticed she was slacken off a bit.
Then she went up to her and yelled at while singing at the same time. She singed, “That are you doing!? What are a bitch!? What you a whore!? Get off your ass right now! We’re opening five minutes! We’re going to be very busy! We’re going to rip off many colts now! So why don’t you pick up the pace, unless you don’t want to sleep in the cold dirty floor at night!?”
Then the little girl said, “I’m sorry, but I’ve been so tired. You haven’t given me anything to eat in days. I have very little water. I don’t have a good place to sleep at night.”
Then the blond bitch pony said, “You selfish little whore! I should slap you sideways! You are a bitch! You are nothing! Ever since you’re real parents died! You have been an annoying little fucker! Now how about you fuck off! And go do something useful, you little bitch!”
Then the blonde bitch’s real daughter, who was an Asian pony girl, walked into the room. Then the blond bitch’s eyes were soft and gentle and calm once more. She then knelt down to talk to her favorite child.
She singed, “Oh my little girl. How are you doing? Do you want some food? Are you thirsty for clean water now? Do you want your father, to get you anything at all?”
Then the Asian pony singed, “No, nothing troubling mum. I just wanted to see if my cousin can play?”
Then the blond bitch said, “oh you don’t want her! She just a little whore! There’s plenty of children outside that you could play with now. Maybe even help mommy and daddy to pay the rent, by pick pocketing them! How about that you do that instead?”
Then the Asian girl nodded her head and she left to pickpocket some douchebags. While these two were singing, the little girl was hiding behind the staircase, and she was crying out her eyes.
Then the blond bitch singed to her, “don’t you forget. That you are nothing. You are a bitch and no one will ever love you. besides, you are just as a pain in the ass just like my sister. So why don’t you go get some water from the well far in the woods. And bring it here, and maybe you will see tomorrow come.”
Then the blond bitch left and went to wake up the douchebag of a husband. Then the little girl went to get water from the well. It was a cold and dark, snowy night.
She got the water and was trying her best to carry it. However, she was crying a bit, until she saw a dark figure walk towards her. She went and hides, however, the dark figure spoke or singed in this case.
The dark figure singed, “Don’t worry; I am not going to harm you. You have nothing to fear. Come out and show yourself to me.”
Then what came out of the shadows was dead hobo body. When the little girl heard this, she was a bit curious and poked her head out to see who it was. She looked at dead hobo body and was still a bit afraid, but had some sort of comfort and safety when she saw him.
Then the dead hobo body continued to sing, “I see your face, little girl. Come to me, for I may protect you. I know your troubles that you have come to face. I have saw you get abused by that blond bitch of a aunt, every time I’m on my way to work. Do not fear, for I am here, to take you away from your abusive life.”
Then the little girl thought it over for a moment in her head, and then decided to accept his offer. She then ran crying into his hooves and thanking him for helping her out with her life.
Then, dead hobo body went for a work into town. While walking, the little girl saw a doll that she wanted.
When dead hobo body saw this, he sung, “I know you want that doll, however, I’m pretty sure you’re still a little bitch though.”
Then the little girl was a bit shocked by this, but continued on with life and eventually killing three people in her future, all because she didn’t get the doll.
Nice going dead hobo body. You fucked up. Well, dead hobo body went to the bar, and looked for the aunt.
Then when the aunt came to see dead hobo body, she saw the little girl hiding behind dead hobo body.
The blond bitch then singed, “I can see that you are here to return that little girl to us. She was being a little whore wasn’t she? Do us a favor and please kill her. She has been a bitch to us, and is nothing special at all.”
Then dead hobo body singed, “Oh well then. I did come here to tell you I was going to keep her, and give her a brand new life. A life better than this one. However, since Slavery really does not exist here, and the fact that you didn’t want her, I’m not going to give you money I was going to pay for her. For that, I bid you, a good day blond bitch.”
Then dead hobo body and the little girl left the bar, while the blond bitch was shocked that she didn’t get the money.
Then the dead hobo body happily lived happily ever after. The end, back to Knight’s story that you properly forgot. Dam it; I know I can’t get away with it. ok, so there’s more to dead hobo’s life and what happened to him.
I thought I could lie and save you some time and actually get back to the story, but let’s just say, since I’m in the same universe as Knight is in right now for the moment. Which is also the only way I can narrate this stuff, let’s just that Fausticorn won’t be happy with me if I did skip this part. Don’t ask why she wouldn’t be happy, but she just wouldn’t. Besides, I’m a black guy. I don’t want to get the bitch angry, even if they aren’t on their period.
Besides, she is more powerful than me. Although, Knight is more powerful than her, but Neon is more powerful than him. It’s a bit confusing and all, but let’s just say, Neon is the most powerful here and I’m not even sure where that was going, but let’s finish up this life, so I can take break.
My narrating abilities are starting to ward off. Well, 6 years had passed, and another revolution had started it up against Manehatten and it’s bullshit laws.
Well, it was a bright and sunny day and Celestia’s sun was still high in the sky. There was a sort of an event going on in the streets.
There was a crowed of ponies, gathering around a few carriages, that had some rich white folks in it. The folks were people who helped run the city of Manehatten, and they were just as corrupted as Obama was when he was president.
Can’t believe he betrayed us. In addition, I also trusted him, and he’s black like me and he betrayed the blacks. Dam Obama did nothing good for us anyways but being black.
Well, that’s story is for another time whenever Morgan freeman finally kills him, but back to the life that makes no sense at all.
The ponies that were crowded around the carriges were singing, “Look down. Look down. Look down at the ground and look at us all who are in pain.”
Then a little fucker came out of nowhere, most likely because he was a colt, and started singing. He sung, “good day to you sir, my name is little bush. These are my friends and all that that care about me. Nothing too much special, I know too. However, that is what makes us unique and better then you rich ponies. This is my town, my only home. This is where I was born and where I’ll die. We live in the filth and find whatever we can eat whenever we can. Think you’re poor!? Thinking you’re free!? Follow me! Follow Me!”
also, may the black guy comment on how that the boy, or apparently his name is little bush, moved from carriage to carriage.
Then as he was moving from carriage to carriage, the ponies that crowed the streets continued to sing.
They singed once again, “Look down! Look down! Look down at the ground and look at us all that who are in pain.”
Then the boy or Little Bush singed, “There was a time when we overthrew the last mayor of this town. We had our hopes up way too high. Then it came crashing down because the last mayor is no better than the last. This land hoped for change. Now when we hope, we hope our lives get better. Here’s the thing with our lives. Our lives get better when we die. Take your stand! Take your belief! Viv la Manehatten! Viva la Manehatten!”
Then the was about last of the boy or little bush’s lines.
Then the ponies that crowded the streets once more singed the same fucking thing. They singed, “Look down! Look down! Look down at the ground and see all of us that are in pain.”
Then a random guy that came the fuck out of nowhere started to sing. He sung, “We will rise! We will succeed! We will never tremble for the mayor! We will be victorious! You will not stop us in our plan for our revolution! We will fight for our freedom! We will fight for hope! We will fight for what matters that is right! You will never crush our sprit for fighting!”
Then the random guy pony got down and randomly went back to his house. He went upstairs to a very poor apartment room, where he had a chest.
In that chest, hailed a white guy knife. The difference between a white guy knife and a black guy knife, is that a black guy’s knife is better.
Therefore, he took it out, so just in case a royal guard tried to attack him, he would be able to defend himself. You know what else? He’s also a dumb mother fucker, maybe because he is white.
The thing is, that the royal guards, has fucking armor. Unless that knife is able to pierce through that amour, he’s fucked. He then went back outside, to try to stab a guard. Well, luckily, that little girl from before, who was all grown up in pony years, was walking by.
That random guy just stared at her and went awe, I guess. Maybe because… well, you know.
Then another friend of his walked up to him, and singed, “I know that you have your eyes on her. Come on now we all know, that you have a crush on her. In addition, to be honest you are meant for her, for you are rich, and she is rich too.
Her father is dead hobo body, who is a very rich and important colt. He also helps who is in need, such as us, the poor. So why don’t you go talk to her?” then the random guy singed, and while doing so, he actually stabbed some guards and killed some. I can’t believe it. I don’t think he’s white.
I think he’s a black guy pony in disguise as a white guy pony, which means he’s a traitor. Well, anyways, he sung, “I do love her as you say. I do believe we’re meant for each other. I do believe we would be happy together, for we see eye to eye. In addition, I’m sure dead hobo body wouldn’t mind me dating her. However, I’m afraid, that something horrible will happen during the revolution, and I will die. Then she would moan and cry her eyes out. Sure, she could move on and shit. I don’t want that happen to her now. I only want the best for her.”
In addition, while he was singing, he killed about 15 guards. I’ll admit, I’m impressed by a traitor, but he still won’t be trusted in the black guy heaven area.
Then the random guy’s friend singed, “Don’t you worry, about losing the revolution. Don’t worry about going to jail. Don’t worry about dying either. All will be fine, and we will win. Just as if you said, we will be victorious. You should not worry a bit. We will win the fight. We will stand against those who stand in our way to victory. We will show those famous and the rich. We will show those who is in charge. We will be better than they will. We just have to prove it and we will victorious.”
Then the random pony eyes widened, and then he strangely had energy. Maybe Neon telepathically transported crack into his system.
Makes sense if you think about it. Then the random guy singed, “You are right! We will be victorious! We will show no fear. In addition, I will not be going to prison, even though I did not say that I was worried about that. I will not fail in my mission from god. Tonight, I shall go to her home and tell her how I feel. And if the father doesn’t like it, I’ll stab him a few times in the heart!”
Then the random guy’s friend was shocked a bit by the last statement and actually talked in a normal voice for once, and he said, “Whoa whoa whoa. Let’ not get a bit carried away there. I mean, that is sort of our support in the revolution. That and I’m sure she would be pissed off by that if you did do so. I mean, sure, she wouldn’t be on her period, but still. You don’t want to have a chick’s wrath on you dude. I mean, just to let you know from a personal experience, she cut off my pony dick, you know? So just don’t kill her father. Got it?”
Then the random guy nodded his head. Then the other guy continued to say, “good. You go ahead and talk to her and you can meet me back at the revolutionary place or apparently a small alleyway. Wait a second here. Our spot where we’re going to win is an small alley way? Well then, we’re fucked, but I already drew blood to show my commitment to the revolution and to the brotherhood, so I guess I still have to go. Well then, see you.”
Then the random guy went away and the random guy that we are supposed to concentrate on left to see that blond chick. It was around at nighttime when he did, and went to the dead hobo body’s rich and very fancy house that he had from all that white people money.
He went there and tried to open the gates, but his knife didn’t do shit. So, he sung and yelling at the same time, “Oh blond chick! I need you! Where are you my love!? I need you right here at these gates! Oh where oh where you might be! These gates weren’t keep us apart!”
Then the blond chick awoken and went to her window. When she opened them, she noticed that one random guy that had a crush on her was there, singing very loudly and horribly, and shit.
Then, she quietly went out her window and towards the gates. When she did so, she started to sing as well, but better then that other random guy that had a crush on her did.
She singed, “oh my love, you’re finally came here. I love you as well, and I’ve also have seen you from a far. I have seen you, with the poor people with the revolution. What are you doing here? aren’t you supposed to help out with the revolution? You shouldn’t be here, my father might hear us and shit.”
Then the random guy that had a crush on the blond chick then singed, “I know the risks. I know that your father might hear us randomly singing out here. However, I needed to tell you, that I love you. That god has brought us together.”
Then the blond chick then singed, sort of like a chorus I guess, “I know that very much and it is very true.”
Then the random guy continued to sing, “we are one and a team. I had come here to tell you, that I am going about to be in the revolution, being barricaded inside a random dark small alley. However, do not fear, that the revolution will win, and after we win, I shall be here to whisk you away, and we could maybe even marry, even though we just started to talk to each other. Therefore, I shall leave, and it might be weeks until you hear from me again.
So, good night, my love, but we will always be together by heart.”
Then the random guy leaves the blond and goes back to the revolution.
While the random guy is leaving, the blond chick says in a low whisper, “Please be save my love.”
Eventually, the random guy went to the revolution spot, or in other words, a really small, dark alley way.
It took a while to find it, since it is such a random spot to be, but then again, in Les Miserable, why did you think they failed at their revolution?
Exactly, there are no blacks in the movie. Chances are, that was what you were thinking and I thank you for agreeing with me.
In addition, if you don’t agree with me, let’s just say that Morgan Freeman is going to be in your dreams tonight.
Alternatively, let’s just say, your nightmares, there is no escape from it either.
Moreover, if I am coming in your dreams tonight, you done messed up boy. In addition, if you are a female, then you really fucked yourself now.
Anyways, the barricade was up and it was nothing but random and mindless shit. Literally. They actually grabbed shit from the toilets to put up the barricaded.
Then again, what else did they have to use? I mean. Sure, there are some wooden chairs here and there, but, really, that was it. I mean, what the fuck do you expect from a small, dark alleyway?
Well, apparently lot, because your hopes are down now. Well, the random guy was eventually let in, although he had to get passed a midget that was a guard.
In other words, it was that one midget from the Wizard of us, that guards the gate to the emerald city.
Then you knock on the door, and he tells you to fuck off, or, in other words, no one gets to see the wizard. Yea, well, let’s just say another universe portal opened up and Knight wasn’t around to see it happen and shit, so, that very same midget appeared.
Therefore, when the random guy entered in, he couldn’t find anybody around. Then, he saw lights at the bar. Apparently, everyone was getting drunk while there was a revolution going on.
Bunch of fucking dumbasses. This is possibly also the reason why they failed in Les Miserable’s, a little bit, even though you didn’t quite see it. I mean, they did drink, but, that was early on, and shit, but still, I hold my opinion.
Besides, Morgan Freeman’s opinion is better than yours. It’s the only thing that matters then the meaning of life.
Therefore, anyways, they were all drunk and were singing a drunken tune. They were singing…
We are fucking drunk. We are drunken as shit. We beat our wives because we don’t know what we’re doing. We take a piss on a random guy. We can’t see straight, Nor can we hold a knife. And if we do, then we just end up killing a guy. And if that happens, we just end up burying the dead body. We also kill all the witnesses’ they witnesses the event! We are drunk,, we are drunk. We are drunk as shit. We don’t care if you’re a Zebra or not. We will stab you no matter what. And we’re not being racist at all, but only because we’re drunk as fuck. We can’t even play a piano straight, Nor can we drive a carriage fine. We are drunk, we are drunk, We are dunk as shit. We might even kill your mother And we might even rape your father. It doesn’t matter what happens Since we’re drunk off our asses. Hooray for beer! Hooray for beer! Hooray for beer! And we don’t care what happens to you when we’re drunk. As long as we don’t have to remember it Or you don’t tell on us on the guards, We just don’t give a flaming fuck! We don’t care what horrible things that we do when we’re drunk! Then, the room got dark and a random fat colt walked up and there was a spotlight on him. Apparently, this is an opera or something and fat people always get the spotlight somehow. It was also a slow tempo type of thing of the song. Even though we’re drinking. We still have feelings Of what we do. And even though, we might kill your mother And rape your father as well, We will end up saying that we’re sorry. Then we will get drunk, Once more, then end up burning, Your place down to the ground. So know this, When we’re drinking ourselves to death, That we’re sorry, We’re sorry, And we will steal all of your bits that you may have. However, for that reason that we steal your money. Is… because… that, We don’t give a flaming fuck! Mostly because, We are drunk, We are Drunk, We are drunk!
Also, apparently, the last five line, it up beat once again. That and when they said their last line of the song, there was fireworks in the sky, as if it was the Fourth of July or something.
It’s like, they just put on a show or something. I feel like I’m being watched or something.
In addition, I still think that beer song was better than this.
(NOTE: Keep in mind that the animation is shitty because this was made since 2006, surprisingly. Ahhh, Nostalgic Memories, one of the very first things I ever saw on You Tube. So Nostalgic to me, and maybe to you guys as well.)
Well, anyway, the random guy noticed that they were drunk as shit, and he said to them, “What the fuck!? Aren’t you guys supposed to be over, waiting to fight when the royal guards may come, and fight and shit?!”
Then one random drunk guy said, “Oh, don’t worry about that, we have that little boy who singed early keeping watch for tonight.”
Then the random guy said, “But, he’s dead. In fact, they killed him while you guys were singing your beer song. In fact, he died a slow and musical death. I mean, the royal guards…just…ran up to him…and stabbed.”
Well, apparently, that one random white guy was right. That boy from earlier was dead as shit.
He did sing, although all it was that he had singed was, ‘viva la Manehatten’ five fucking time in a row.
In addition, if it makes you people feel any better, the kid was robbed right after the royal guard stabbed him a fear times with his spear.
Then again, what didn’t he have bits, since he was poor and shit? Well, he had some pocketknives and some lint.
Maybe he was Joker Jr. that and apparently he had it coming to him, since how he mugged the rich was stabbing them with his pocket knives, so he had it coming to him.
Although, why did he have lint though? Maybe it was intestinal. Confused? So am I. Let’s move on so I can go to black guy dream land.
I mean, if you want someone to blame, blame god of the universe that Knight is in at the moment. It ain’t my fault that I have to do dead hobo body’s life. I would’ve just given you the short version of it.
which was, Some Prison movie rip off, some heartwarming dog or wolf movie from the 80’s or 90’s, Les Miserable’s rip off, and he saves Knight.
However, apparently I have to go into detail about shit. well, while the revolution was going, back at dead hobo body’s house, dead hobo body noticed that her adopted daughter was outside, still holding on to the gates.
What is that bitch’s problem? Seriously, even black people wouldn’t do that, even the retards.
Then again, they would just continue to stand there and just creepy look out into the distance like a weird creepy asshole. Whatever, whatever Morgan Freeman says, is whatever Morgan Freeman says, all right?
Therefore, dead hobo body went to check on his daughter. He then singed to her, “My daughter of mine, are you alright? What are you doing out here? Come inside, before shit starts to happen.”
Then the blond chick then started to sing, “Oh father, I have something to tell you. I have a secret that I have been keeping for three minutes, from you. I am in love, with a colt that is in the revolution. It was love at first site, and we are meant to be together. God has made it possible, and for that, god wants us to be together. However, I fear for my love. I fear that he might die during the revolution. I’m worried sick about him, because we’re supposed to marry each other when he gets back from the revolution.”
Then dead hobo body then singed, “Why did you keep this secret for m me these past three minutes ago? Why did you do such a thing? You are to be grounded for the night, however, I have seen this boy as well, and if you do believe that, you are in love with him. That you are meant to be together and god has put you two for husband and wife, then I shall make sure he is all right. However, since you are grounded, from keeping a secret from me for three minutes long time, you stay in your room and don’t come out for anything at all.”
Then dead hobo body went back inside his house to grab a few things and then went his way to the small, dark alleyway where the revolution was taking place.
Even he too, it took him a while to find the place, but he eventually found it. When he did, he tried to get inside, but couldn’t, mostly because there was a pile of pony feces in the way.
So, dead hobo body did what he knew best, fly with that Mecca-Michele Jackson robot from that one Sega Genies game from the 80’s Moonwalker.
Then, robot Michele Jackson dropped him off , and went to molest most little foals and eventually molesting Spike in his sleep, while Twilight didn’t notice. Therefore, eventually he found the random guy that his adopted daughter was in love with.
When the random guy saw him, he said, “It’s you! did my love tell you the whole thing? Did she say what we had was true?”
Then dead hobo body said, “Yea, she told me the whole thing buddy, also, I’m pretty sure since this is a small dark alley way, the revolution is going to fail. Chances are, you’ll properly die, so, just follow me back home, and I guess you can marry my adopted daughter.”
Then the random guy said, “She’s adopted?”
Then dead hobo body said, “Yea, I randomly abducted her. I mean, she thinks that she was adopted it to go to a better home, but, really I just whored her out and gave man with AIDS and other STD’s to come and rape her in her sleep late at night. I mean, that is how I got rich, you know. In addition, I’m just putting it out there, but, on your guy’s honeymoon, you should properly where a condom, because, let’s say what she has… how do I put this? Hmmm.... She has a disease that not even the doctors has seen before. Apparently, it’s a combination of all diseases in history, and made into one super disease. Apparently, they named it after her. I believe they call it, Ghost Dick. Not sure where or how they came up with that name, but it’s there, so, yea. Although that does sound like a pony name for a pony that has a really bad case of the flu and dips his dick in vodka after banging a whore off the streets so he doesn't get a disease, but then got i anyways because he got his sex advice from some skeleton hambone that does a radio show every week. That’s what I think of the name, you know? Well then, let’s get back home, shall we. Let’s just pray to Celestia that you won’t get Ghost Dick disease.”
Then, they were about to walk out of the small, dark alleyway, until, they heard a voice, shouting at the revolution group. it was a leader of the group of royal guards.
He yelled, “We have you surrounded! We will give you one last chance to surrender yourselves, and the mayor will agree to only fuck you over one hundred times over! Now, do we have a deal!?”
That random guy was about to say something, until a random drunk ass pony said, “You can go fuck yourselves, fatty bitches!”
Then the random guy said, “We’re fucked.”
Then that same random drunken ass pony that fucked them, said, “Don’t worry. There is a lot of shit and wood that even they can’t pass through with their spears. It will take them one point five hours to get through, and by that time. Then, we will have enough support to get to the moon and see a talking pear that talks in the royal Cantorlot voice and we will dance with moon crabs, and go to a place called Illegal Mexico, where we will have all the tacos we could have on a Tequila diet.”
Then dead hobo body said, “You are really drunk, are you?”
Then the drunken ass pony continued to say, “That rock can talk. He’s a very funny rock. I’m going to keep him as a pet. I’m going to name him tom. How are you doing tom?”
Apparently, the actual rock, Tom, was there, and it said nothing at all, because he was a rock.
Then the drunken ass pony said, “That’s a good boy. Now play dead.”
Then the drunken ass pony collapsed onto the ground, pissing himself and maybe or maybe not died from alcohol poising. He properly did, but scientist and Brony experts all agree, that stupidity killed the drunken ass beast.
Then, dead hobo body said, “Well then. That was weird. However, I believe we can escape through the sewers.”
Then the random pony guy said, “But, isn’t that filled so much shit? I mean, those sewers has to be like, filled to the rim by now, right? I mean, I didn’t even know how they even dispose of the waste without putting it in the river? I mean, wouldn’t we drown in other people’s shit? And when we get out, aren’t other ponies going to notice that we just got out of a pile of shit?”
Then dead hobo body said, “They will just think that we are hobos. Trust me, that’s what my friend Knight thought of me when he found me after he got half drunk from drinking tequila. Now, if that drunken ass pony is right, that means we have one point five hours to escape through the tight pipes through he swears.”
Then the random pony guy asked, “Why are the pipes so small?”
Then dead hobo body said, “Because no pony fucking expects other ponies to escape through the swears, now we don’t have much time. let’s move it.”
Then, both of them saw something from the sky. It was falling pretty fucking fast, almost faster than a black guy would fall. The thing smashed through the barricade and the royal guards and the revolutionary ponies were shocked. It turned out to be Knight on the ground, that was pinned down to what looked like a lone of Knight, except that he had yellow eyes and yellow electricity mane and tail color.
His hooves were also electricity and were yellow as well. He was also very pissed off at Knight and what he had done to him, even though he’s just a clone of Knight.
The clone of Knight said to Regular Knight, “YOU KILLER HER! YOU KILLED THE PERSON THAT I ONLY LOVED! YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU KILLED MY LOVE OF MY LIFE! YOU KILLED MY WIFE! YOU KILLED THE ONLY PERSON THAT MATTERED TO MY CHILDREN AS AND ME WELL! YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND HAVE GIVEN ME NOTHING TO LIVE FOR! WE WERE HAPPY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY! I HAD A JOB, OF A FUCKING ANIMATOR AND WAS A SUCCESSFUL AND OWNER OF A CARTOON CHANNEL! I EVEN HAD A HAPPY LIFE WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS! MOREOVER, YOU TOOK IT ALL AWAY FROM ME! YOU RUINED IT ALL! YOU KILLED MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE! MOREOVER, FOR THAT, I SHALL TAKE SOMETHING FROM YOU THAT YOU TEND TO VALUE MORE. I SHALL TAKE YOUR LIFE, FOR YOU HAVE TAKEN MY WIFE’S LIFE! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!”
Then regular Knight, the Knight that we all know and love, even though he’s white.
Well, Knight said, “Come on dude! Just get over her! She was just Lauren Faust! I did you a fucking favor! Besides, I won’t burn in Pony Hell, although your soul might get destroyed by her, but still. I did you a mother fucking favor of killing her man! Even though it was in an alternate universe and is an Official Universe of Earth.”
Then as clone Knight was about to kill regular Knight, regular Knight found a metal pipe and grabbed it with his hooves. Then regular Knight knocked out clone Knight, and clone was just unconscious on the ground.
Then Knight got up and said, “You stupid dumbass mother fucker! I fucking did you a fucking favor! I mean, you weren’t even supposed to exist! You just somehow came out of my ass somehow! The things that I fucking do now a days! Come on you son of a fucking bitch!”
Then Knight dragged the knocked out Clone Knight body and around the royal guards and onto the streets.
Then, the royal guards noticed that the barricade was open, and they cried a battle cried and charged. When the royal guards noticed, dead body said, “Oh fuck.”
Then both of them made a run for the sewers. It took them a while to get through the very small, tiny pipe, but they eventually got to the sewers and were eventually crawling through miles of shit.
If I recalled it, it was about a length as long as a football field. They crawled; oh, they crawled through those miles of pure shit.
Of course, how did they escape through the small, tiny pipe, while the royal guards were attacking?
Well, they got some time with the drunken ass ponies of course. They were used as decors while they escaped. However, the random guy couldn’t take the five hundred miles of pure shit, so, he eventually dragged him along and eventually got him out.
When he did so, it was raining outside and it was pouring cats and dogs outside. I wonder if Discord would actually do that and harm the cats and dogs.
Maybe, but Q wouldn’t do that. Q instead would make it rain bitchs and money. Then he would go to strip clubs and shit, because, in all honesty, he’s Q.
He can do whatever he fucking please to, and he’s just like me, expect a white guy version of me. However, while those two guys were crawling through the miles of pure shit, they came across Knight.
They were under the sewers, listening on what he was talking about that night. Knight was sitting on a doorstep.
The clone version of him was lying on the ground.
Knight said to himself, while look at himself through a puddle of water, “Look at myself. I’m a wreck. My life, has been nothing but fuck ups. I mean, I find out who I really am and shit gets fucked up.
I find out that by technical standards, I’m the last human alive and will ever be. I find out what happened before god became god, and what she had to do and what happened to her.
I almost destroy an alien city back in the Earth universe. I can’t seem to get that United Universes to get up and running, although, still tweaking out the kinks in it. Inca is a mother fucker who hates me, and that isn’t even a good thing. TF is gone, while I have to deal with him. I find out what really was supposed to happen, and I find why things didn’t go what they were supposed to.
This all happened because of some fucking anime ponies that needed my fucking help! I mean, even the fucking Winter Forest wasn’t much as a hell as this, and she said that even I, nor her two daughters are even allowed to go to The Winter Forest.
It’s brutal as fuck, and it is. I mean, I even turned someone’s life and made him a new enemy of mine. In addition, Celstia thinks I should be prince of Equestria.
Why can’t she fucking get it through her fucking skull that this is my job? This is my fucking life now, all because of that Anime.
However, I can’t blame them, they needed me, so I came to help, and I did. Why does every pony think I should, just stop fighting? I mean, it’s my fucking job. I know I should retire, but I can’t.
Not now. Not now. I’m too deep and I have a lot going for me right now. That and I’m bounded to the universes, so I can’t leave my duty. Besides, I fear that if I do join them with their duties, I fear that my enemies will hurt them, and all thet I love. Then again, they can’t really get to her, but still. It’ll be like the chaos age, when Discord ruled the land, except it won’t be a troll rule, but, just to see Equestria burn to the ground.
My enemies would rather watch it burn, then to rule it. Moreover, it would all be my fault if I did do so. Then again, TK always said he would take over my place, but I have to continue with my duties with the ancient ones.
Then again, they too as well believe I should retire from my duties and only work when they need me. It does sound tempting, I’ll admit, but I still have duties.
Sure, I can kill all of my enemies I would have nothing to fear, but that is not who I fear at all. I fear of Black. He will stop at nothing till I’m on my knees and begging for him to stop.
He will not stop till I am in pain. I mean, who would kill all of my friends, just to see me in tears and be on the edge of embracing the darkness, as he always wanted me to do. I mean, he would kill Celestia, Luna, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie pie, the rest of the Mane 6, and my other friends.
I mean, there is no way of killing, other than me committing suicide, but I can’t do that.
Then again, I could always do what Celestia and Luna always wanted me to do, ever since I got.”
Then Knight took out a yellow ball of life out of his satchel. He then hold it in his hooves and continued to talk to himself.
He continued to say, “I want to use and say the words, but I won’t not now. I need to see what happens at the end. Only when I’m in my darkest of all moment, is when I shall use it. I mean, I can’t use it now.
It’s only a one time use anyway. I mean, all it does it resets time and makes everything how they are supposed to be. As tempting as it is, I can’t use it yet. Then again, Celestia and Luna are always fighting me to use it, but I won’t.”
Then Knight puts the yellow ball of light back into his satchel. Then, he looks up, and notices three black crows, staring at him.
He then says to the three black crows, “Get out of here! I know that’s you black! Get out of here! I’m not in the fucking mood to fight you. You should know that since you’re me! Well, at least a version of me that is”
Then Knight looks down at the clone Knight Body. He then said, “What am I going to do with you? Come on, let’s go. I think su-fu could maybe get rid of you. In addition, if not, then maybe she was right in the first place. Then I would just have to go to Fausticron to get rid of you.”
Then Knight got up and walked away, along with dragging the clone Knight Body. Then, we now continue with dead hobo body and shit.
Well, anyways, what happened was that he was carrying the random guy’s body up some random stairs, until he came face to face with that crow guy once more.
The crow singed, “I finally have found. It took me a long fucking time, but I finally figured out you were incognito. You were the rich, and now I have you. You have fallen into my trap. A weird fucking trap that doesn’t even make sense. But I somehow planned all of this, within,…two days…and…Fuck it! I finally I have you where I want you, conveniently. So surrender now and you will only have serve a life sentence and shit.”
Then dead hobo body singed back, “I don’t understand, what do you mean trap? Well it doesn’t matter, but this man needs a hospital, for he crawled through five hundred miles of pure shit. Now, if you excuse me, we have to go now, so I’ll possibly will see you in heaven, since I’m sure you’re going to commit suicide after I leave.”
Then as dead hobo body was about to go up the stairs, that crow guy pulled a knife on him. He then said, finally, “I will kill where you stand if you move or take one more step.”
Then dead hobo body looked at him and said, “You are a fucking liar.”
Then he walks away with the random guy and went to put him in a hospital and shit. Then the crow guy dropped the knife and went to the edge, which was the swear systems and shit.
Then he walked along the edge and singed, “I know what I have done. What have I done? Why didn’t I just do it? I needed to kill him. I am the law! However, he was right. That man needed a hospital, and it wouldn’t be right if I killed him. I wouldn’t represent the law. However, I am the law! So I did something, while did something bad therefore I have sinned! I have sinned in my past; however, I’m sure that I was given from my sins by good! However, I still have to pay for the price for the mistake that I have done. Now, I shall do a over dramatic death and do a very unnecessary Suicide jump!”
Then the crow jumps off the edge and committed suicide and his neck was broken.
Finally, I thought he would never shut the fuck up. In addition, the white guy was right. He was a liar. Maybe white people can be trusted. Fuck it, they can’t. So, the random guy wakes up in bed, and looks around to where he is at.
Then, it turns out he is in a hospital room, where nurse was about to give him a sponge bath. Then the nurse notices that he is awake.
Then she says, “Oh thank Celestia that you are awake. Now I don’t have to fucking give you a sponge bath. Good luck you piece of shit.”
what a nice lady. And what very nice compliment to give to a white guy. I can just tell that she would be very good for our efforts to win the revolution.
Too bad she ain’t black. Well, a zebra for that matter. The black guys could really have appreciated on using her for the revolution, but, we’re shit out of luck. Well, the random guy got up, although, he limped a bit while walking, but still fine. He then looked out the window into the night, and then he started to sing. Oh god, when will this end?
He singed, “Where am I? What happened to me? I was crawling through miles of pure shit in the sewers. Then everything suddenly cut to black in front of eyes. Then, I don’t remember what happened after that. I started dreaming of my love. That we are in a much better place than this we’d and unnecessary musical. Then again, we’re doing and singing it anyway. However, the question is, what happened to me? I know that I am in a hospital, but, in which part of the city? Who saved me? Then again, chances are it s dead hobo body, but I’m just going to assume it was someone else that did, but whatever, it’s my part of the fucking chapter to sing, that takes place during the future.”
I am a bit surprised that he knows how to break the fourth wall there. Then again, Neon knows exactly how to break the fourth wall.
In fact, he is an expert. He is even more of an expert at breaking the fourth wall then Pinkie Pie.
Mostly because, well, he is random and insane. Too, be quite honest, that is just how I like my ponies. Nicely random crazy. Because, chances are, he will end up being a psychopathic killer and kill the white guys for us. Too bad, it has not happen yet, mostly because, well, Neon is just that way. Oh well, better luck next time, right?
Well then, after the random guy singed his part of this unnecessary musical, that blond chick walked in, and she too started to sing.
She singed, “Oh my love, you are ok. I thought that you might have died during the revolution. Nevertheless, thank god and her children that you are all right. I hoped that you didn’t die. When I heard the news, that the revolution failed, I had thought that you might have been killed, but thankfully, you escaped before they killed you. Now I do not have to weep over your tombstone. And now, we can do what you said, and get married, even though we just met two days ago.”
Well then, so they did. In addition, might I add to those lyrics, that when the blond chick singed the part about weeping over his tombstone.
Well, what I want to add is that she forgets to say or sing that she was also going to weep over his living tombstone. Yes, hear those crickets in the background?
That’s the sounds of a black guy making a bad joke. Great, now I, Morgan Freeman, have to go on national Television, and make a public apology for making a bad joke.
Well, you know, what, fuck it, I can do whatever I fucking please. I’m Morgan Fucking Freeman, and I am not sorry for that joke.
Now, please excuse me, so I may be able to finish this dam part of the chapter, so I can do other black guy stuff and so the author can, well, fuck off.
Now, the random guy and the blond chick eventually got married no less then the next day, isn’t it funny how fast a wedding can be made?
In addition, no, it wasn’t a redneck wedding, or those cheap wedding that you get at Las Vegas that is somehow suspiciously run by an illegal immigrant, mostly by a south American, Illegal Mexican or possibly Muslim, but believes in the American way.
Then again, those are some rare Muslim types to find, but still.
So, while the random guy and the blond chick was together, remember that blond bitch? Well, she came randomly crashing through a window, drunk, and yelled at the random guy, “I don’t know what the fuck I am doing! I just saw a wedding felt the need to ruin it! Anyways random pony guy! That guy who saved you that night in the swears, where you crawled through five hundred miles of pure shit was dead hobo body! In addition, I somehow know his location of to where he is at right now! He is at the fucking church down Main Street! I am fucking high!” then the blond bitch puked all over the floor.
Then, there was a big chunk of a dead body in her puke. When the blond bitch noticed it, she said, “Oh look. My only child that I gave birth to that I somehow ate later after that blond chick left. I wondered where she went. Apparently, I ate alive. So that is where she has been for the past three or four years of my fucking life.”
Then she was knocked out, and no one wanted to find out what happened to the child that was eaten alive by her mother. Therefore, every pony in the room decided to pretend that none of that fucking happens, and moved on with their lives. In fact, they didn’t bother to pick up the blond bitch nor clean up the puke or the dead little girl that was eaten by her mother alive.
However, after the random guy got the news, he then said, “Well then. I must thank your father. In addition, it also seems that my doubts about him saving me that night was incredibly wrong and I should have just assumed it. Well then, my newly found wife, to the church on main street!”
Then the random guy threw his wife on to the streets, through the broken window, made by the blond bitch. He too, then jumped through the window. Soon, they somehow landed safely onto the ground.
I don’t understand that, unless somehow in the future, the ponies gets that leg brace thing from Portal.
Then it would make sense it would be fucking awesome as shit. Therefore, they went cowards Main Street and got to the church. I don’t really know if the ponies pray or not.
I mean, it’s not like these ponies have any religion at all. Then again, if you think about it. Maybe that’s why these ponies live better lives then humans. They don’t have religion.
That and they don’t have other ponies shoving their religion other pony’s throats, and there is no Muslims or Jews, or basically any complaints about which religion is right.
You see, when there is no religion, it’s all better. In addition, Morgan Freeman approves this. Great, now I’m starting to sound like Bob Dole. Then again, who wouldn’t want to sound like him?
That’s right, no one. In addition, then again, the god of this universe, that Is in, really doesn’t require any praying to her or anything really. You see, no religion equals happiness.
Anyways, dead hobo body was packing up his somehow able to fit his dead body saddle back, as he was about to leave Manehatten for good.
When the blond chick and the random guy saw this, they galloped to him as fast as possible.
When they did so, the blond chick singed, “Father! Wait, stop! Where are you going? You even haven’t come to my wedding day!”
Then dead hobo body then singed, “I know, however, it is my time to leave Manehatten. I must finish a few things, before I die at an old age.”
I don’t get it. I mean, dead hobo body is dead already. How the fuck can he die if he is already fucking…know what?
I’m not going to complain about this. Just, don’t question it. Just like how you don’t question slenderfetus. You just never ever question it. You just let it be and move on with life.
It’s not even worth trying to fight it. I mean, of all of my years of narrating Knight’s life, I have to say, he one pretty fucked up live and it’s best to not complain about it either.
Just let it be, and I somehow referenced a Beetles song there. Fucking shit, please don’t tell me that a song is going to randomly play, oh god it is.
Well then, thank god that is over, now let’s finish this bitch up so we can get back on track to the main part of the chapter and end dead hobo body’s life already, shall we?
Therefore, the random guy then singed, “But my father-in-law, I must thank you. You saved my life that very night. And if it wasn’t for you, my newly founded wife, might have been weeping over my living tombstone.”
Apparently, he gets the joke. Know what, I salute you random white guy pony. God bless you random white pony guy.
God bless you all, and to all, a happy shut the fuck up. Now, I just made a good reference, and now all of you can shut the fuck up already.
And if you ain’t happy about it, or don’t get the reference, then you can suck my balls, because I’m mother fucking Morgan Freeman.
Therefore, dead hobo body then singed, “I know what I did that day, however, I do sort of regret it. Don’t worry my son-in-law. You will be happy together. Now, if you excuse me, I must go.”
Then the random guy stopped singing and the blond chick decided to sing. She singed, “please, was it something that I did? Please don’t father. Do not die.. if it was something that I did, then let me apologize. I am sorry.”
Well then, I don’t quite understand that, because he was going to go and leave Manehatten. He even fucking said it. Then, old French musicals are weird.
Well, dead hobo body said, and not singed, “I never said I was dying. I never said I was even coming down on something. Although you are right though. You and your personality does want to make me kill myself.”
Then the blond chick continued to sing, “Papa! Papa! Papa! Are you all right? Don’t die yet. we will find help right away. Do not leave this world yet, there is still time.”
Then dead hobo body said, “What are you doing? Are fucking deaf? I said I wasn’t dying. I said I was leaving Manehatten, and that was it. I mean, no wonder you’re stupid and didn’t hear me. You are a blond chick. Besides, even if I was coming down with something, I wouldn’t tell you and I would just let the disease do its thing and kill me. Mostly to get away from you. Even though I raised you from a poor child, and here I am, complaining about you, not sure, why I did it. Maybe to get the audience’s attention.”
I dead hobo body traitor had a point. Good work man, good work. Then the random guy singed his part. He sung, “No dead hobo body. You do not understand. We owe you. I owe you. We are forever in your debt. Let us treat you back to good health, so that you may continue your life. And perhaps you could be a grandpa and get all timers. Then, we can put you in a home and steal your money. Then, we maybe even richer, and we will forget you even exist at all, and then you can die. Anyways, you are a saint if you let us do this for you.”
Wow, what great little selfish children that they are. I should go down there and backhand slap those fuckers. Trying to steal from our own kind. They are lucky I ain’t calling that a hate crime.
Then again, I did say dead hobo body was a traitor. In addition, dead hobo body then said, “Oh boy, what great chideren that I have. How about this, you can go fuck yourselves and eat a dick and cut your own hearts out and see how black it is. In fact, you random guy pony, why don’t you cut your own balls off and shove it up your asshole. So the next time you shit, you shit balls, got it? in fact, while you’re at it, after you shit your own balls out, how about you grab them cook them, then shove down your throat and choke to death on them. Then cut your own heart out and see how black it is before your eyes before you die. Fuck this place and you two. I hope you two ends getting divorce and killing each other. Screw you guys, I’m going home.”
Then dead hobo body went out the door. In addition, as he was going out the door, he yelled at the two, “By the fucking way! You two can have that money of mine and my other nice things! By the way, you have a mother-in-law, who was that broke through the fucking window at your wedding! She also called your whore of a wife, a bitch when she was a kid! Now go fuck yourselves sideways from Sunday!”
Then dead hobo body left. Then the random guy looked at the blond chick. He did it for a few seconds, and then said to her, “Your own aunt called you a bitch? You’re a bitch? I don’t think things are working out between us. I think we should get a divorce.”
Then the random guy left the church and took off the wedding ring, in which he threw away in the garbage.
Then he found another hot, rich chick and grabbed the ring in prospered to her. He got married to that hot bitch and had five billion kids in which they all committed suicide later, because they belonged in space and what not and they soon became a star.
In which, they became a super nova and Twilight Sparkle didn’t know what the fuck just happened in space, in pretended that nothing happened, while Spike raped her in the ass while she wasn’t looking. I wish to never say that ever again in my fucking life, as a Morgan Freeman.
So, as for the blond chick, she was left in church and the a priest type pony guy molested her and raped her and left her 4 dead in the actual left 4 dead game.
You know. Since it’s a four in the sentence. You don’t understand, don’t you? Well, as for dead hobo body, he left Manehatten for good, and went to go back to Stalia, to find Knight.
Well, he did, who falling hundreds of feet in the air, while under a dome. However, Fausticorn caught him for a bit, which she held on to Knight dearly.
She flew while having her eyes close, with a bit of a sad face expression. She then said a few words, but dead hobo body couldn’t make it out.
However, then Knight pushed himself from Fausticorn and continued to fall. Dead hobo body wanted to help Knight out and catch Knight, so he would not die.
However, there was a dome in front of him, so it was preventing him to go through. However, Knight had a device type thingy, to which he then put into a socket and the dome depleted.
Then, Knight was still falling, although, Fausticorn was trying to catch him, but wasn’t going to make it in time.
However, as Knight was about to hit the ground and almost die, dead hobo body landed right under him and cushioned his fall. Knight thought he was dead, but when he found he wasn’t dead, he opened up his eyes and saw what broke his fall.
He looked and saw his old body that was only meant for a short comedic joke, dead hobo body. When Knight saw this, he said, “Wow. I completely forgot about you dead hobo body.
Well then…thanks. However, all the citizens were looking, confused as to what the fuck just happened.
One of the citizens said something and… All right, it looks like this is all I have to say. For fuck’s sake, this was hard and now it’s finally finished.
Now I can go fucking bed, for a black needs his rest to do more black guy things in the morning.
That hiding on a phoenix thing is actually doing quite well for me. Yea, Celestia and Luna are never going to find me, because the last time I was on here Celestia and Luna did not even suspect a thing that I was gone last night.
I actually feel like I have freedom now. I mean, they thought I was in bed the entire time last night. What a pair of stupid dumb fucks.
They thought that they could use their magic and figure out if I wasn’t in my bedroom, but this time, I outsmarted them.
Then again, eventually they are going to catch on and eventually catch me, riding this majestic phoenix, under Luna’s night sky and under her beautiful moon. When that happens, I’ll be fucked.
However, let’s not concentrate on that right now. Let’s actually concentrate what the fuck is actually happening right now. Let’s see, where the fuck did I leave off from last time.
That’s right, I left off that I was at the bar with Craig McCracken and Neon, late at night, while Lauren Faust didn’t know jack shit that was happening. In fact, she was going to wake up to a dead raccoon on the floor that had been gutted out, skinned alive a bit and put in a deep freezer and possibly deep fried as well.
I’m pretty sure those hillbilly’s rednecks, the rare type of Americans, are going to break into the house, and grab that dead raccoon and eat him for dinner. Although if it were a hillbilly redneck zombie, they would rape Lauren Faust, eat the raccoon and sing horrible country music and shit.
That, and it would be a sign that hillbilly redneck zombies has taken over the world and it would have been a new era. Although if that ever happened, I would have lost a bet then with Wolf.
I mean, I’m pretty sure when Earth enters a new era, it would be when Google takes over. I mean, they already have self-driving cars; they might as well take over the world and have a new era for Earth called the Google era.
In which everyone has to drive the Google-mobile or some shit like that. Well, we were at the bar, trying to have a good time, like in The Worlds End, except no evil robots are trying to kill us and we have blue ink on our hands and shit like that.
Anyways, we were at the bar, I just said the word fuck really loudly, where everyone can hear me.
In fact, one guy was on a date on his girlfriend, and he said to me, “Dude, watch your swearing man. Can’t you see that there is a lady here who doesn’t like to hear profanity unless I’m fucking her ass really hard in her bedroom when I just shot her parents because they hate me?”
I then said to that person, “You do realize that you just said the word fuck already, so your statement is completely invalid. Second, what the fuck are you talking about?”
Then that guy’s girlfriend, who keep in mind, is a hot blonde chick with big titties for some odd reason, but then again, that’s possibly why the guy is dating her anyways.
It’s because she is a blonde chick and she has big boobs. Although, I always wondered, why do guys get boners when looking at boobs? I mean, it’s such a great question if you think about it. I mean, perhaps someone should get Vsauce on it. Then again, I am in Equestria and I can’t do shit about it.
However, I can still kidnap him and force him to do so. However, it is a good question that needs an answer to, that I’m pretty sure that he would be just fine with answering the dam question. I mean, it’s like a question like the meaning of life.
Guys like to look at them, and yet, we don’t exactly know why we like it? Is it because they look like balloons and they remind of us our awesome childhood. Then again, some were abused, while others thought a balloon meant that the clown from ‘IT’ was going to kill them.
In fact, why the fuck was the clown from IT a giant spider in the end? Whatever, I’m getting off track here, the point is, why the fuck are boobs interesting? Anyways, as I was saying before a great question just as if the meaning of life came into play here, the girlfriend to that guy was a hot blonde chick with big hot air balloon boobs, like in Henti anime porn.
Well, she said to her boyfriend, “What? You didn’t kill my parents. You didn’t even have sex with me yet. I mean, this is our first date together. I mean, we only just met on Craigslist thirty minutes ago.”
Then the hot blonde bitch’s phone rang, and she said, “Hold on a minute, my friend bitchy bitch just texted me back.”
Then she grabbed out her…I don’t know, the I phone 69 I guess that was released by this point in time? In fact, it might have been exactly that because Apple was just throwing new versions of the used to be great but now is shitty I phone out to people.
Fuck it man, I also think they even gave some fucking hobos who did not even pay anything to get it, nor pay a phone bill for that matter.
Although, from my perspective, all those hobos only used it for porn and looking at a virtual fireplace from the app store on the I phone. Yea, they wish they had a real fire instead of having one over a barrel that is abandoned from n nuclear waste plant that pretty much give you cancer if you go near it.
Then again, what doesn’t give you cancer nowadays? I mean, even the grass gives you cancer somehow. Fuck it, I believe at one point, some people will say, Lauren Faust gives you cancer or ponies give you cancer. That or even they might say that Adam Sandler gives you cancer.
Although, I do hope one day that will be true, for I do hate Adam Sandler for his non-funny Jewish comedy. I mean, when that day comes, we will have a reason to stay away from his movies.
That and we will once again will be freed from the beast, and actually spend our money wisely and perhaps the economy might actually get back on track if people stop watching Adam Sandler’s films.
Anyways, the blonde bitch with big hot air balloon boobs then looked at her text and she said, “Awe, that’s sad. My friend has F’s in school, but only because she doesn’t pay attention and always on her phone texting to other people like me and go on Facebook. School’s hard. Paying attention in class is hard so hard. Why is everything so hard? Drinking water is so hard. I don’t want to go to sleep because it’s so hard. Having sex with someone is so hard. Why is life so hard? Oh look, a small midget dog. He looks so cute. Is he that Taco Bell dog? Is he made out of tacos? I want to eat him and find out.”
Yea, this is why Muslims possibly attack America, because it’s filled mostly of these kinds of people. I mean, this is why the Muslims celebrate 9/11 as if it was fucking Christmas.
In fact, I recall that moment from Neon when I had nothing to do, and he somehow showed me what the Muslims do on 9/11 In fact, it went like this.
Two days earlier before Chapter 20…with Morgan Freeman…
Son of a black baby monkey Jesus. Apparently, white people can’t have a simple story without a black guy in it narrating. Then again, my voice is better than white people’s voices.
Well, it was two days earlier before the events from when there was two Neon’s and shit happened, which I am somehow surprised at that. I believe Knight Lied to you all that it was only right after the events from his trip to Manehatten, and not two days.
Anyways, Knight, the white guy pony here, was just doing but white pony shit, because he basically had nothing to do at all that day. Then, Neon, the scary mother fucker that even scares me.
I mean, I’m fucking god bitch, and that shit scars me. Dam Neon, you scary.
Anyways, Knight was just randomly walking, like how a white guy pony should, minding his white guy pony business, when all of a sudden, Neon ran up to him, and Neon said to Knight all up in his face, “Hey Knight! You want to see what Muslims do back in your universe on 9/11!?”
Then Knight said to the scary ass pony, “I’m afraid to ask and where did this conversation even started at Neon? I mean, I was minding my own business here, and you just asked me a question that has nothing to do what I’m facing right now.”
Then Neon said to Knight, “Well, before I show you what the Muslims do, let me show you what Americans do on 9/11.”
Well then, Neon is scary, because he is not listening to what knight has to say and shit. Well, anyways, Knight then said, “Neon, I’m not a fucking retard, ok? I mean, I know what happens. People cry and moan and never forget what happened on that dark day…Actually, to be honest with you, I don’t know what happens, because I really never paid any attention to it.” Then Neon teleported him and Knight to Knight’s house and Neon opened up a portal to Earth, while Knight was confused as shit to what the fuck just happened. Well, Neon showed what Earth was like in the year 2020, and this is what he saw. He saw a stage in New York City, and there was a crowd around it, filled with whites and blacks and purple. Well, purple…is a thing. Fuck it, I’m Morgan Freeman and I can say whatever the fuck I want in this shit.
Well, the president of the United States in the year 2020, stood up, and walked to the podium. He said, “Now, we will hear some words from a survivor.” Then the white guy looking mother fucker went up and he said, “I have cancer due to the building being destroyed!”
Then the crowd applauded him with glee and cheer. Then the white guy said, “I’m serious here, I got cancer!”
Then the crowed laughed at him, as if it was an 80’s sitcom. Then again, majority of the crowd was white people, who still believe they are living in the 80’s, while the black still believes they still living in the 90’s.
However, with Asians, they are aware that they are living in the present times, and are not dumbasses. However, it is mostly because they are good at math and they would never fail a math test…at all.
Nevertheless, if they do, then it just means the world is about to end, for an Asian get’s a driver’s license and fails a math test and all that whatnot and shit. Well, then the guy said, “What are you people doing?! This isn’t supposed to be funny at all!”
Then the crowd yelled, ‘boo!’, at the guy, and a random guy stood up and said, “That wasn’t a very funny joke! Tell a funny joke for once you douchebag!”
Then the crowd agreed with the random guy and then they all said, “Yea, tell another joke that is actually funny!”
Strangely enough, they said that all in unison. Well. Then the guy said, “Why are you people doing this to me?!”
The guy also started to cry a bit, while the crowd awed, as if they were watching an 80’s sitcom, where a character somehow learned a lesson and in the weirdest, most stupid of ways possible.
Then the guy noticed this and he said, “Stop it! Just stop it! Over three thousand people died on this day over twenty years ago!”
Then the crowd made that studio audience sound, from the 80’s, where to say the main character or wimpy character of the show, just manned up and stopped acting like a big pussy and kiss a girl. That or the girl kisses back, sort of like a surprise sound I guess.
Morgan Freeman around the 80’s didn’t do much, so for me, I would not know as much as you would have. Then the guy said, while still crying like a pussy and try to get passed his cancer bullshit, “Don’t you people have any feelings anymore!? We were all crying every year, but now, you all have changed! You should not all be like this! You should feel sorry for the victims! I mean, I know it’s been 20 years since the attack, but we still got to remember it!”
Then the crowd did that gasp sound like an 80’s live studio audience would have done back in an 80’s sitcom show. Then the guy said, “Well, at least you all care a little bit that much, for starters anyway.”
Then the crowd once more laughed at the guy. However, one guy continued to laugh even though the audience stopped laughing at him, and he laughed show hard, he puked out his intestines and one guy died because he was somehow found it easy to masturbate to what was happening.
Chances are, it’s that guy who goes around YouTube, putting up comments, ‘I find this hard to masturbate to.’, or some shit like that.
Well, at least in the year 2020 or 2021 I believe it was, we finally got rid of that guy who goes around commenting shit like that. Now, we are finally free from the dark days and shit like that.
Then the guy said to all of the fucked up and weird audience members, “You are all horrible people. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!”
Then the guy walked away from the microphone, however, as he was about to walk, away, a guy came up to him, and knocked him out. Then that guy that knocked him out proceeded to take his clothing, to which everyone from the Audience ran to the guy who was knocked out, and proceeded to take every little thing of him.
When the audience was finished, they went back to their seats and all that was ever was from now on, was nothing but bones. Literally, they took his skin and organs, including his asshole. Along with strangely his dick.
But chances are, a really fat ugly bitch who has pimples and braces and glasses on her face, along with Aids, took the dick and masturbated to it, because she could never get a guy to love her.
Not as much as to look at her. Even the boys looked at her, they would turn into stone, and therefore, she was the new Medusa.
Anyways, after Knight had seen what the fuck was going on, he then asked Neon, “Well then, I’ll admit, I’m a bit shocked and not surprised by seeing that. But, can you please tell me why you just randomly ran up to me and asked me to see what Muslims do on 9/11 again?”
Then Neon did not respond to Knight’s question, and just ignored and switch the United States, with a Middle East country, where it was the morning of 9/11.
The sun was just about to rise up, and when Knight was trying to struggle and see what was happening in the dark, as a white guy would do, Neon pushed him through the portal, along with Neon jumping through it as well. Then, they both ended up in the universe, and Knight was still in pony form.
Then, Knight asked, “What the fuck did you do that for Neon!?”
Then Neon said, “Shhhhhhh…..The show is about to begin.”
Then, the sun slowly rose up high into the sky. The Muslim in the bed, then woke up and had a bright smile on his face.
Then he started to sing a song, which is strange, because in Muslim cultural, they are not allowed to sing, but whatever, Muslims are random.
Besides, if I ask why the Muslims suddenly decide to change their ways of life very fast, chances are, I’ll get a hijacked plane heading to my house and trying to kill me.
Good thing that I’m Morgan Freeman, and I’m god, so I can go to heaven and what not or whatever you white people say nowadays. Whatever that fancy white people word is, you get the point.
That, and I get to sit back and watch a Muslims kill 72 virgins in heaven. Anyways, the song went like this.
It sun has risen once more. It is the month of September. Today is that very special day! It is 9/11 once more! Allah is smiling within my heart! Everybody’s happy because we Muslims actually got attention. In the beginning, no one cared about us, When we had Suddam Hussein, we got a bit of news attention. We loved that news attention, But when he died, we no longer had more attention. Now we have the attention all we want, Even though it’s very bad, but no one gives a shit! Everyone’s smiling with their faces, So happy today is that anniversary, That we made happen!
So, Knight was confused as fuck, and didn’t understand if the Muslims did 9/11 because they wanted attention, or it was intentional.
Well, the Muslim guy that was singing, then noticed Knight and Neon, and instead of blowing them up with a useless suicide bomber, he said, “Come on Technicolor talking ponies! Join us for the celebration! It’ll be fun!”
Then the Muslims guy put something Muslim like around their necks and started to sing once more. However, the song that the Muslim singed was very boring and repetitive, that not even I, Morgan Freeman, will repeat, because of its bland in boringness.
However, you need at least something to get the idea where I’m coming from, it’s like watching a very bad opera for a day. Anyways, about three hours into the song, and yes, it ‘s that long of a song, a little Muslim boy went up to his mother that you could not see, because women in that country are not allowed to be hot or some shit like that.
Then the boy asked his mother, “Mother, but we shouldn’t be doing this. We should be sorry for what we did to the Americans.”
Then the mother said, “My son, if you keep talking like that, the evil big bad Uncle Sam is going to get you in your sleep.”
Then the boy said to his mother once more, “Oh mother, don’t you know that is just a silly little old fairy tale that you tell Muslims children so they can be afraid of America.”
Then the mother said to the little Muslim boy, “Yes, and I recall that you were very afraid that the evil big bad Uncle Sam was going to come out from under your bed and give you a bible and freedom and rights.”
Then a guard or whatever those types of Muslims call them who go on portal and make sure no women show a single inch of their skin or a women isn’t alone and Muslims shit.
Yes, you call shit in the Middle East… Muslim shit. Anyways, the guard came out of nowhere with a whip and he started to beat the Muslim woman to a bloody pulp. Then the guard said, “NO TALKING YOU FUCKING WHORE!!! NOR DO YOU NOT SING! Where is your man anyway you child molester that is talking to her son?”
Then the mother asked, “Why? Is It because I over did the Resin Brand crunch cereal this morning? Was it because I put too much in it?”
Then the guard broke her neck and he said, “No! It was because you didn’t do me last night as I ordered you too!”
Then he spat on her, and then looked at the little Muslim boy. Then the guard said, “Hey kid, do you want a sword to beat women to a bloody pulp with and rape them?”
Then the little Muslim boy said, “I sure do!”
Then the guard killed him and he yelled at the dead body, “Well you’re not you little Muslim shit! Only Muslim guards get to do that!”
Then he walked away. Then the song continued for about seven more fucking hours, and at night, it was the finale. Then all the Muslims gathered around a World Trade center tower that was on fire and was singing a fucked up version of, ‘o Christmas tree’.
Then, they ended the night and went to Muslim sleep and dreamed of Muslim dreams, while Knight was still trying to wonder what the fuck happen and Neon had a creepy smile on his face with the world’s smallest pupils ever.
Then, they went back, and Knight had nightmares.
BACK TO KNIGHT…
Well then, that Morgan Freeman part was useless. That and I thought me and Morgan freeman was cool.
I mean, sure I lied to you all, but I was eventually going to tell you about it, like I said before I was going to tell you all the lies that I have said as we go. Anyways, yes, I am aware about Morgan Freeman’s presence, like the last time it happened. Anyways, with the hot blond chick and all and the hot air balloon tits, she then ate the dog and said, “Ewwwe….this doesn’t taste like tacos. Tasting is so hard. Eating so hard. I’m going to take a picture of me eating this taco bell dog and Instagram it.”
Then she took a picture of her eating the dog alive, and put it on Instragram, and put, ‘#eating dog.’ Strangely enough, I’m surprised no lawsuit or protest by Peta has started up yet.
BACK TO MORGAN FREEMAN
Son of a fuck. I am once again, not too long ago, am back. Well then, at least this one is a short one. Well, if you recall the events of the Peta war, where Peta and that other group fought a war in some room, because Peta was threatening to destroy all computers because of Knight.
Well, it had been three years since that war started, and it might as well be called World War three, because it seemed like it. Well, almost everyone died, except for the group’s leaders, who were strangely enough still alive.
The leader from the other group said, “Look what you have done! You have cost many lives, just because you wanted to destroy every computer that had Knight’s stories!”
Then the Peta leader guy said, “We had to do it! We had to do it for the animals dam it! Can you not see Knight’s evil ways of harming animals!? This was all worth it!”
Then the other leader guy responded with, “We were brothers! We were once friends! Now, you have changed my friend! You have changed! I have no other choice but to throw you in lava and watch you burn!”
Then, somehow, lava appeared, and the Peta guy got burned, while the other leader guy went away. Then, a very old guy, who just happened to be the guy from the BEN Creppypasta, walked up to him, took him home along with his minions, and repaired him.
Then, at the end of the night, the Peta leader guy, was a copy of Darth Vader. When the Peta guy awakened, he asked, “Where is my precious animals at? Are they safe from Knight’s horrific harm?”
Then the old guy said, “No. No, they are not safe. In fact…WE ATE THEM!”
Then the Peta leader guy who was now in a Darth Vader costume, said “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Really loudly, which woke up the neighbors , to which the guys shot them all, and did other shit. Then, the old guy said to him, after killing the neighbors, “You shall rise my pupil. Soon, you will have revenge.”
Then the Peta leader guy then said, “Yes, I will have my revenge on that other leader guy who was strangely enough was my best friend in the whole world.”
Then John Williams came the fuck out of nowhere and played a dramatic score. Then the old guy said, “That was horrible. I know you can do better than that John Williams.”
So John did, and the score was a lot better.
BACK TO KNIGHT…
I somehow have to figure out a way to have Morgan Freeman stop cutting in when a moment like that is needed. I mean, I am tired of bullshit like that and having black outs and shit happen to me.
Anyways, I then said to the hot chick, with hot air balloon tits, “You do realize that your boyfriend over there said something about rape you, right?”
Then she said, “My boyfriend is going to rape me!?”
Then the boyfriend knocked her out, and took her behind a dumpster in a dark alley and started to bang the fuck out of her. I then decided to get out of the car, because, really…what purpose there was for me to continue sitting in that spot, because more shit was going to happen anyways and it will be a distraction from my life’s story.
Anyways, I got out, and as I was about to meet Craig and Neon in the bar, a few black guys from the hood them came out of nowhere, and one of them asked me and a very deep black guy like voice, “Yo dude, you got any grape soda?”
I then responded back with, “uhhhhh….. no?”
Then the guy eyed me and he asked another question, “Then do you got any grape kool-aid then?”
I then said to them, “Why the fuck would I be carrying grape kool-aid around with me?”
Then the black guys behind him went, “aweeeeee….he doesn’t have it. I thought you said this white guy would have the stuff?”
Then the black guy who talked me then said, “I know guys, and I’m awful sorry for it too. I didn’t mean to get your guy’s hopes up. We just have to keep trying until we find a white guy who has grape soda or grape kool-aid. Maybe we should try that rich white old man down the street over there, who seems to have a cell phone and that is ready to call the hood police because it looks like we’re going to mug him and pointing at him.”
Wow, I thought I would not see that happen. Then again, none of us think that will happen.
Anyways, I then went into the bar and Craig and Neon was already at the bar, having their drinks. I then sat next to Craig and he asked, “There you are Knight! Where have you been!?”
I then told them, “A hot blond chick with hot air balloon tits ate a dog alive and posted on Intragram, and a black guy gang asked me if I had any purple soda or kool-aid, how’s your day been going for you that isn’t fucked up?”
Then Craig said to me, “Ah, it’s been going fine as usual. Come, come, have a seat my friend. Hey Bartender guy! A round for my buddy Knight here!”
Then the bar tender guy said, “You got it!”
Then I was handed my beer, and it just really wasn’t the same. I mean, I prefer either tequila or Iris beer. Not the American type of beer, because it’s just so bland and shit.
Well, anyways, we started to have a conversation about Lauren Faust and shit, and it is also pointless to put it up here, so, whatever.
However, we chatted for a while, and Neon then said, “I’m going to see what I get on that love tester machine right there next to that guy that looks like is depressed as shit that will commit suicide any minute now and that looks like a rapist.”
Then Neon got down and went towards it. Then Craig and I started to talk and start up another conversation. However, while we were having our conversation, behind us, Neon was fucking around with the machine and he got that level as…whatever is on lover tester machines nowadays.
Well, he somehow made it explode and he somehow killed three people in the bar that night. Yea, I don’t know what’s up with that green pony either. Well, anyways, Craig asked me a question, “So, Knight. How you’re enjoying your night so far with your friends?”
I then said to Craig, “What do you mean friends? I just met you a little over an hour ago.”
Then Craig said, “Come on Knight, We are friends. Even if we haven’t met each other since tonight; besides, me, you, and Neon, are the three best friends that anyone could have.”
Yea, he was stealing that from the Hangover, but in a sense, it was kind of a good feeling to know that he thought the three of us as the best three friends that anyone could have.
In addition, when Craig said that, Neon slowly rose from under the bar, very creepily, and he started to sing.
We are the three best friends that anyone could, We are the three best friends that anyone could have. And we will never ever ever ever leave each other.
Then everyone at the bar started to start to make a rhythm and started to sing along with us at the bar late at night. Then Neon continued to sing…
We are the three best friends that anyone can have, We are the three best friends that anyone could have. We are the three best friends that anyone could have, We are the three best friends that anyone could have! And we will never ever ever ever leave each other no matter.
Then for some add reason, a dirty old hobo barged in and started singing. He pretty much singed… I’m the hobo from right across the street,
I heard this singing, while I was trying to get some sleep. I agree that you are the three best friends anyone could have. As I look deep into your eyes, I could defiantly tell, That you would never ever ever leave each other for no non-sense at all. Now if you gentleman excuse me, I shall go ahead and rape this rat I posse in my right hand.
Then Neon continued to sing his part, once again.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have, We are the three best friends that anyone could have. And we will never ever ever leave each other no matter what. We are the three best friends that anyone could have, We are the three best friends that anyone could have!
Then a person who was in the bathroom, then opened the door very quickly and started to sing his part as well. His part was…
This song is beautiful, Just like riding the waves, of, the ocean! Of course I don’t know, What the hell I’m singing anymore! However, I know for a fact, That you three gentleman are the three best friends that anyone could have, That would never ever ever leave each other would remain loyal to each other forever. Now if you gentleman will excuse me, I’ve got to make a tweet that I’m taking a piss and a shit at the same time, While using the same hand that I use to wipe my ass with.
Then Neon continued to sing his part once more. However, this time for a finale, a marching band came out of fucking nowhere and started to play.
I believe this marching band came from a raping alleyway. What, you never heard of a raping alleyway?
I don’t blame you, it only exists in Equestria…for some odd, weird, twisted reason..for that matter. Anyways, Neon then singed for the finale part…
We are the three best friends that anyone could have, We are the three best friends that anyone could have! And we will never ever ever ever leave each other no matter what. We are the three best friends that anyone could have, We are the three best friends that anyone have! And we will never ever ever leave each other no matter what happens!
So…yea, good song I will admit. I mean, it didn’t certainly make much sense, but the budget was defiantly there. Apparently, the budget for that was still more then what Ponyville had. Then again, Equestria uses bits, while Americans uses Americans shit, because Americans and we have shit.
Well, there is a way to convert the value from their money to your money’s worth, but it’s complicated. So just go on with my word on it…even though I’ve lied to you many of times before.
Anyways, all I’m going to say is this for the song. The song was great, but I don’t know what is going on with that hobo raping a rat.
For some reason now, I believe that rat man myth in Grand Theft Auto IV, I believe that is where the rumor came from is that they saw a hobo raping a rat, and they though rat man somehow existed.
Then again, what the fuck do I know, I’m thousands of years old, and haven’t played a GTA game within years. Anyways, yea, I should also mention that I somehow heard him and raping the rat. I mean, the rat was just begging for help, but sadly, the rat was fucked. It is as if an elephant got his dick stuck in a kitten’s asshole.
Anyways, as for that guy in the bathroom, tweeting shit, well then, perhaps that’s why my life sucked and why I needed to find a way out of my other boring useless life.
I just needed a tweeter account, because apparently, everyone had it and somehow the ones that used it, especially while taking a piss, they seemed pretty important and quite gentleman like people.
Of course, that explains how Lauren Faust got shit done and got successful and was chosen by Hasbro to do My Little Pony. She had a fucking Tweeter account.
Then again, back when I was on Earth, I found that having a Tweeter was useless and pointless. Mostly because I didn’t feel the need that anyone who was reading my tweets, needed to know when I was having sex, and doing the ‘69’ position, along with having every single detail to what used to be my boring life.
No one needs to know what the shit that I’ve done. Besides, it involved killing the Prime Minster of Canada and taking it over, along with…well, let’s just say a ‘problem’ with the Jews. I prefer not to go into details about it. Let us just leave it at…many tombstones needed to be made.
Anyways, that happened, and I would like to know where that marching band came from anyways. I mean, it reminds me of that movie, The Wolf of Wall Street, where a marching band somehow comes into the offices. Then again, that does not sound such a bad idea.
In fact, that would be the greatest idea of all time. Maybe I am over thinking it there, but whatever, it’s my opinion, and my opinion matters and every other opinion can go fuck itself right in the asshole of…whatever words have.
Anyways, right when everyone was done singing, Craig said to me, “So, are we the three best friends that anyone could have?”
I’ll admit, I had a bit of a smile on my face and I’ll admit, we were three best friends that anyone could have. I mean, we went to bars late at night, we did shit, we pretty much did that basic friend shit that every friend does.
Of course, we did not watch the show ‘Friends’ because that would be very…bad of a thing to do. Well, my opinion states that the 90’s sucked and Friend’s was kind of not the best thing around for me. Let us just say I have nightmares about the 90’s, and even though I still live in Equestria, I still have those nightmares. Dam you furbies! Dam you all to hell! Sorry, just trying to repress a horrible memory from my past, from the 90’s. Let us move on now, for there is still much more to cover.
Well, as I said before, I was happy and had a smile on my face. I then said to Craig, “Yea…yea we are the three best friends that anyone could have.”
Then Craig said to me, “That’s the sprit! Although, I have to admit, that I haven’t heard that song in years. What movie did that song come off from?”
Then I answered Craig’s question with, “That song came from The Hangover. I mean…haven’t you seen that movie?”
Then Craig responded to me with, “Well, yea, I did…but…when did that movie come out?”
I then said to Craig, “The Hangover came out back in 2009…why? I mean, how many years has it been since 2009?”
Then Craig, said, “Wait,…that song has been out since 2009? Wow, it was as if 2009 was just yesterday. I’m getting old man.”
Then a thought popped up in my head, mostly because I rather felt what Craig said was bullshit. I mean, he did not look old. Then again, at the time, it was some year in the future.
I mean, I knew I was in the future, but I was never told what exact year I was back on Earth. Well, I then asked Craig, “Well, what year were you born Craig?”
Then Craig said to me, “I was born on March 31st, 1971.”
I then took the phone that Neon had, or in other words, stole from a guy that he killed while me and Craig was complaining. I then went to the website on the phone…which…might I add, surprisingly in the future, the phone wireless network kind of get’s shitty.
You would think it would be a bit better then it was like seven years ago, but apparently, it goes in the opposite direction. Anyways, I went to the website When was I Conceived.
Yea, it was a bit weird, but highly accurate surprisingly.
It turns out that it wasn’t some douchebag who was lying to you, working behind a rundown Asian owned apartment complex, where there are giant cockroaches, that are holding knives, and threatening to kill you if you step in their turfs.
Then again…I kind of blame the schools for that happening, but, whatever, the schools are lazy. They just let any kid do whatever the fuck he wants to nowadays.
However, that is not important. There will be a chance where I’ll tell you my fucked up stories about how I killed certain kids and teachers and shit…it was all a big ol’ mess.
Anyways, I looked it up on the phone and I said to Craig, “Well, apparently to this website that I am on…it says that you were conceived between July 4th through July 12th of the year 1970.”
Then Craig asked, “What the hell when I was conceived has to do with anything?”
I then said to him, “Well…according to the website, the popular movie and song that your parents might have fucked before watching or while listening to says it right on here. The movie that week that your parents possibly fucked while watching the movie at a dirty porno theatre was ‘Airport’. The song that your parent’s possibly did the 69 position while your mom gave your father a blow job was Mama told me not to come by three dogs night. Well, you are kind of old, but in all truth, you’re really not at this point. Um…how old are you right now?”
Then Craig said, “I’m currently 49 years old of age.”
I then asked Craig another question, which was, “And how old is your wife at the moment?”
Then Craig responded with, “Well, I don’t usually keep track how old she is, nor do I keep track of our anniversaries. I mean, I usually just get her a last minute gift that I get from a child molester from down the street. However, I do recall one of her non-existent friends, well, at least to me it’s non-existent, mostly because I don’t care about her friends and I’m just pretending they don’t exist, she’s 46.”
I then said to Craig, “Well then, she looks good for her age then.”
Then Craig asked me, “When was my wife conceived anyways…just out of curiosity?”
Yea, …just out of curiosity. I’ll believe Craig when the cat of Uranus goes up your mamas asshole that farts itself way up to the moon.
I have no idea what I just said there, but I believe you got the point that I was trying to get across. Anyways, I looked up on a dead guy’s phone, and I do have to admit, I feel like I have a curse on me for doing such a thing, because it’s a dead guy’s phone. It is like stealing a dead guy’s shoe, which surprisingly I know of some people who have done that before.
Anyways, that being said and all, and for once I didn’t say shit, while I’m on a fucking phoenix! Whatever, we are getting a bit off track here, that, I looked up Lauren Faust’s week that chances were that she was conceived.
I looked it up and told my buddy ol’ pal Craig, and apparently this is the 50’s, “Well then Craig…your wife was conceived between the dates of October 28th through November 5th of 1973 Apparently.”
Then Craig said, “Well…what movie and song came out that week when she was conceived?”
I then saw the information and told to Craig, “The popular movie that her parent’s might have or might have not masturbated to before they raped each other was The Way We are. And the song that was most heard that week that Lauren’s parents might have listened to while doing anal was Midnight Train to Georgia by Glady’s Knight and the pips. Son of a bitch, they stole my idea.”
Then Craig said, “Really, is that what Lauren’s Parents listened to while they fucked the night away underneath the stars?”
I then said, “Apparently so. Apparently Lauren’s parents did hump each other’s brain’s out while giving hand jobs and blow jobs, while Lauren’s father ate her mother’s pussy that she might have had an orgasm and came all over the place.”
Then Craig said, “Well then, I’m surprised that my in-laws did the clever steamer and fingering each other at the same time.”
Then I said, “Yup, its so surprising that they did the seated scissors and Baring the scepter. While also doing it on the Counter Top and the Butterfly position.”
Then Craig said, “Yea, I know what you mean. My parents did the Modified Coital Alignment Technique, The Shake n’ Bake, and The Happy Scissors. However, Lauren’s parents did The Doggie Style, The lap Dance, and right minded, although with the right minded one, all it did was help my mom have an orgasm. I mean, Lauren’s parent’s did a sexual game called kinky cards, one step forward, one step back, sex toys hide and seek, and 20 naughty questions, while my parents did the Women on top position. My dad was such a pussy when he did my mom.”
I then said to Craig, “Yea, I know that feel bro. My cat did the same thing to another cat. Also, Twilight has been asking me to play a sex game where she blind folds me and she uses a few sex toys on me and I would have to guess which one she’s using. However, she never said this directly to me, but I read her diary, and it said that she would like to do that to me.
Either Twilight has physical needs that aren’t being met and she’s just using me as a way to get her physical needs, or she really has the hots for me.”
Yea, I read Twilight’s diary before, and there is a lot of thing she wants to do to me. Scary things that she wants to do to me…I’m scared…please help.
Then Again, that was years ago and she no longer loves me. However, it’s not because she hates me for doing something to her, but let’s just say ‘I did something’.
Well, we stood silent for a bit, while thinking of the sex shit we just talked about, when Craig’s wife called him on his cell phone, which I’m wondering why the fuck he didn’t pull that out in the first place while we were in the van complaining and Neon didn’t have to skill someone.
Well, Craig’s wife called and she said over the phone, “Honey, where are you?”
Then Craig had an expression on his face that says, ‘help me or I’m fucked shock expression.’ He said to his wife, “Oh why do you ask such a question my dearest and beautiful wife of mine? Why, I wouldn’t be at a bar at this late, now would I?”
Then his wife said, “Well, I woke up because I thought I heard someone break into the house, and I don’t see your car in the drive way, so I was a bit worried. Where are you Craig?”
Then Craig said, “Well, I was called to go into work early honey of mine….I am just waiting for the Disney guy to tell me something that is possibly good news about something. I’m just waiting in my office, with the TV on.”
Then his wife said, “Well, I don’t hear the TV then?”
Then Craig said to her, “Well, then you are a deaf bitch then, because the TV is loud as fuck in my office. Can’t you hear?”
Then he signaled in the bar as into help him out and make fake TV noise. Also, I cannot believe that Lauren bought that Craig has a TV in his office.
Anyways, soon everyone made fake noise. One guy made a noise that you would see on Cops, and two black guys did the theme song to it as well. The guy said, “Today on Cops. We have a white guy…and a black guy…what’s going to go down? Watch now…on today’s episode.”
Then another guy that sounds like an Australian said, “Oh, look at that baby of an animal. It so cute, you want to rape its tiny cute little asshole. Yea, I want to go up to it right now and rape it.”
Then a couple started to have moans, as if they were doing it and having hardcore sex. Of course, they were reenacting a porno, in fact, they were so good at it, it was as if they were giving each other’s hand jobs underneath the table, as if the wife was giving the hand job and the husband was fingering her.
Then again, I did see cum on the floor…well then my god they did it. Well, then a soccer game sound was made, because why the fuck would there be a football game in the middle of the night?
Actually, that sounds interesting if there ever was a football game at night. I need to find an alternate universe that happens later on.
That’s if I don’t get caught by Celestia or Luna that is…anyways, then there was a French guy that said, “Oh my love, you are just as beautiful as Paris.”
Then he kissed his own cock, and no, I am not bullshiting you. He really did a…I don’t know…I think a ninety degree or a bit more then that or less of a degree. How the fuck should, I know!
I ain’t no dam Asian. I mean, it isn’t like there’s Asians around in Equestria or anything. Sure, there’s the country of Japony, but I’m not going to fly all the way there, just so I can get a mathematical degree question answered.
Besides, that’s what a Twilight is for. Either you rape it, or you use it as a calculator. Also, that ‘it’ I put, isn’t a typo.
Anyways…aside from other bullshit, Lauren got the idea that Craig was at his office, watching TV. Lauren said to Craig, “Well, have a good day at work then honey. I’ll see you later when you get home.”
Then Craig said to his wife, “Yup and I’ll see you later in hell you bitch.”
Then Craig hanged up and put his phone in his pocket. I am just so shocked that Craig and Lauren can keep up a relationship, especially since they have been married for over eighteen years at this point in time.
I mean, I don’t know…but at the same time, it seems it’s going to be alright. Well, we then sat there with silence, while I was just still sitting there with complete shock in my eyes to what my ears just heard, Craig’s watch went off.
By the way, may I add, whom the fuck still buys watches anymore? I mean, you have your cell phones and your fancy red neck tablets; there is no purpose of having a watch anymore.
Then again, old people still need to use it, so they do not accept the fact that they have all timers and they pretend that it is still the 60’s. I mean, I know that they would like to pretend, but our war with the Asians are over, so they should just adapt to more advanced technology, that is better than a fucking watch.
Well, Craig looked at his watch, even though he’s not really old, and he said, “Speaking of being at work, it looks like I have to go now.”
For once, Craig talked like a normal human being that day, and it is a day, which will live in infamy, and a day that I will never forget. Anyways, I then said to Craig, “Really, you need to go to work at three in the fucking morning?!”
Then Craig said to me, “Well, my boss knows I bring in the most money into the company, so he kind of wants to go over a few things with me and shit.”
I then asked Craig, “Who the fuck tells you to go to work three in the morning?”
Then Craig said, “Oh…you’ll see who it is as soon as we go to my office. Hey Neon, I got to go to work!”
Then Neon came up to us covered in blood and guts and he said to us, “No problem guys, I killed everyone at the bar except for our only witness…The Bar tender. Duh duh duh.”
I then said to Neon, “We didn’t say for you to kill everyone at the bar.”
Then Neon said, “Exactly…” Then I said, “Ok then Craig, let’s go to your job quick before I try to start thinking of what Neon said and my brain explodes.”
Then Neon said to me, “Knight, don’t you know when you try to think of the number forty-two, then your head would explode.”
Then I said, “Neon, that’s ridiculous.”
Then Neon said, “Come on Knight, how do you think Walt Disney died?”
I Then figured out what he meant a few years later, because at first, I was confused, as a normal intelligence creature would be. Well, what Neon meant by that is, somehow, Neon made a living calculator, made it go back in time, and assassinated Walt Disney.
How did the non-living thing to such a thing? Well, it required to put the number forty-two on the screen, Walt looked at it, he thought of the number, and his head exploded.
Soon, the calculator was rewarded with a medal of honor and was declared president of the United States…in another universe of course.
Well, soon we were on the road, going to Craig’s place of work. Soon, we arrived at the Disney cooperation and I’ll admit, it was a decent office for the year 2020.
Soon, we entered the building and we went straight to Crag’s office. No one else but a guy with a pair of glasses, who was fat and had a mustache that made you look like a pedophile was there as well.
He was somewhat weird and reminded me of that one guy from Office Space, where he burned everything down.
However, that reminds me of Neon. Although, lately at the time, I thought Neon was a bit off, because he wasn’t burning things as much as he was used to. Yea, I kind of wanted the old Neon, where he was always a weirdo and a fucking creepy ass pony who always killed others at pure random and set things on fire to come back to me.
I will admit, I’ve created a soft spot in my heart for that kind of Neon. Anyways, I walked into Craig’s office, and he had a nice workspace…along with his TV.
I cannot believe Craig has a TV in his office. Then again, I guess we are all lazy when it comes to our work and we just end up watching good ol’ American TV.
That, and somehow Craig got free cable, however, I believe Neon helped him out by threatening the Cable Guy, along with Jim Carry. Now, only this once I will congrats Neon on doing the world a favor, he took care of Jim Carry. Neon is a national hero for doing such a thing.
Anyways, we kind of waited till Craig’s boss came in, and soon his boss did. Well, guess who the fuck it was, Mickey fucking Mouse! Well, the midget mouse soon walked in, while talking in his high-pitched voice, “Craig McCracken! Get your ass over here! I got great news you son of a bitch! We just bought DC Comics. Now we can make even more money you fucking douche! Come in here for a hug!”
Soon, Craig and Mickey hugged, while Neon said to me, “awe…that’s nice. Hey, knight, you want a hug?”
Then I said, “I don’t think I want a hug of death right now.”
Then Neon said to me, “Come on Knight, it’s a nice, heartwarming feeling, murdering, blood gushing, staby feeling. And I need a hug because I’m the one who helped Craig and Disney buy DC Comics.”
I then said to Neon with a straight face, “First off, nothing is heartwarming with you ever, and second, I knew that was coming.”
Then Neon said to me, “Oh, you can just read me like a book can’t you Knight.”
I was then about to make a joke to Neon, but I didn’t feel like pissing Neon off with it and end up being killed by him. Trust me, being killed by Neon is a horrible way to die, because he makes sure your death is slow and painful.
Anyways, soon Craig went to his boss’s office, talked business, and for Craig’s shows on the network and soon Neon and I went back to Equestria, where we kind of belonged at.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 21: Shadow and the Cutie Mark
Well, it was still in the middle of the night by the time we got back to Equestria, so I got Neon out of the house and I enjoyed my rest of the night…till Wolf showed up of course.
Ok, I still enjoyed my night with him, but still. Well, what Wolf and I did was shit. Well, not shit shit, but shit, as in regular daily shit. Sort of like your daily dose of shit that you would usually get every day.
Anyways, what we did was we went off the grid again, or just went outside of the universe that is. It’s where we usually go every time we want to hang out and we don’t want to be in Equestria to do it.
Well, there was no lights on, even though the non-existent ceiling does give off a light, I used my techniques that I’ve skilled over my many years of life and dimmed it down a lot, but just enough where you can just about see.
We had a flat screen TV, with a PS5 hooked up and cable along with a Blu-Ray player with a bunch of movie while being connected to the internet from Earth.
Yea, it’s hard to explain, but with my skills I was able to get it to connected online so we could do shit. Well, we were on the PS5, but I wasn’t playing anything, mostly because I was a bit half drunk from the bar I just had gotten back from.
So, I was just watching Wolf play, and how you may ask how he plays even though he has no fingers. I don’t know either, but he somehow does play with the controller.
Maybe it’s because of his claws, but his claws are a bit too short to reach and they can’t really spread out now…can they? Well, whatever, it is just an unsolved mystery of the universe. Well, Wolf was on a Call of Duty Game, which was called Call of Duty: Black Ops 4. Wolf was playing an online match, team death match of course, and as usual, Wolf was doing alright. He was doing what the average gamer would do on a match, as in get some kills, get killed sometimes. Rinse and repeat like that and shit.
Well, while he was doing that, I was looking through the games that Earth had just released, but strangely, not noticing what year it was made in at the time. Well, I looked through the games, and I asked Wolf, “Wolf, why don’t you play these other games? I mean, you’ve been playing Black Ops 4 for a while now.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Come on dude, this is still fine. I mean sure, it’s nothing new then Call of Duty 15 was, but it’s good.
For one thing, you get to use new and original weapons, such as the cat and dog launcher, where you get to use cats and dogs as ammo instead of real bullets.”
I saw what wolf was saying and the weapon was useless, but people still got the game because of it, but all he was doing was killing cats and gods. Fuck it man, he even went up to one of them in the game and skinned one alive, but only because it was the only new thing for the game series in general. I mean, even I would have got the game because of that feature.
Well, I then said to Wolf, “Well, what about playing Assassin’s Creed VII.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Come on man that game series isn’t good anymore. I mean in Assassin’s Creed VII, all you do is play during the Civil war years, doing pointless missions for Abraham Lincoln and eventually killing and faking his death at Ford’s Theatre.”
I then said, “ Well, I’ll agree, it wasn’t the best of all games. Although I can’t believe the game got a perfect score on all the gaming magazines and websites. Well, what about Far Cry 6?”
Then Wolf said, “Ubisoft isn’t even trying anymore with that game.”
Then I said to Wolf once again, “What about Grand Theft Auto VIII?”
Then Wolf said, “All it is a storyline where you go and murder strippers. There’s nothing new to the game series.”
I then said, “Well… what about Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Night Stalker.”
Then Wolf said, “Isn’t that the game where you literally rape women and kill people with no plot to it all?”
Then I said, “Perhaps. Well, there is also The Last of Us 3. That’s supposed to be a good game. There’s also Watch Dogs 2 and Resident Evil 9.”
Then wolf asked me, “How is Capcom still a company if they don’t have any money?”
Then I said, “Well, they did rob a few banks and got away with it and said it was in self-defense.”
Then Wolf said, “That makes a lot of sense actually. You can never tell when those swiftly accountants are going to harass you and rape your soda cans.”
Sadly, it was true; you never know when that’s going to happen. Then I made another suggestion of, “Well, what about Dark Souls 3?”
Then wolf said, but a bit of excitement this time around, “Oh man, I’ve been wanting to play that for years now. I hear it’s the hardest game ever made. I heard one story, where there was an awesome mass suicide because of it.”
I then asked Wolf, “Wolf, how the fuck is that even awe…you got high while I was gone, didn’t you?”
Then Wolf said, “Eyup. I’ve been more relaxed then Kurt Kuban, or who ever that 90’s pop music guy was who committed suicide in a house and shit.”
I then asked Wolf, “Well, ok then, what do you suggest playing other then Black Ops 4?”
Then Wolf said, “What about the popular new IP series, Debt and cocka banana trees?”
I then asked, “What the fuck are those games?”
Then Wolf said , “Well, Debt is all about you getting payback that others owes you in debts, and you owe other in debts, so you have to be stealthy and shit do other shit. As for Cocka Banana Tree, you’re a walking, living, breathing, giant banana that goes around doing shit that I’m not sure if it exists or not.”
Then I said, “That sounds like a horrible game.”
Then Wolf said, “Yea, tell that to those who love it, which is apparently only a thirteen year old kid that does shit on Wikipedia.”
Then TK and Factory Dash was walking by us and I said to TK, “Hey man, what’s up?”
Then he said to me in his emotionless voice of his, “Knight, I might have found where TF is hiding, but unfortunately, I don’t have all the information. When you went back to get the signal back in Manehatten, I found out that there were other signals that was helped to broadcast the TV signal. Apparently, TF used several devices to help transmit it, and I was able to hack into one. However, he has many of these devices that I can’t find them all, and they are scarred across multiple universes that we already have been to. It even looks like he put one on Earth somehow. Even the place that you don’t even want to talk about.”
I then said to TK, “Listen, I might be able to track down the devices whenever I can, but for one thing, there is no chance in hell that I’m going back to that universe. Not what happened and what I went through…emotionally wise anyways. Besides, I left the place with tears and I promised myself I wouldn’t go back.”
Then TK said to me, “But you knew that you were going to go back to it anyways…”
I then finished TK’s sentence with, “When the time is right… and right now… it is not.”
Then TK said to me, “I’ll talk to you later about what else I’ve found out through hacking through the device about TF, but for right now, me and Factory Dash have to check out the abandoned universe to see if TF is there or not. If he is and he has no defenses, then we’ll be taking him down there.”
Then TK and Factory Dash left us alone. However, I then put my concentration back into Wolf’s game match, Wolf had a headset on, and Wolf died. Then a nine-year-old little shit then said to Wolf over the mic, “Ha Ha, you’re a fag and a loser. I killed you, you should go kill yourself right now you fucking noob. I’m better then you and you’re gay for getting killed, even though everyone dies in the match anyways, you little bitch.”
Then Wolf said with rage, “That song of a mother fucking ass cocking monkey shit son of a Bitch!!! I’m going to kick that little shit’s asshole!”
I then thought for a moment, and I said, “Wait a fucking second here… that’s the kids who ruined the fucking Wikipedia pages and trolled me! Wolf, get me into the match now!”
Then Wolf put a plug in for me and even though I was still in my pony form, I could still use my magic to push the buttons. I also put on a headset and the match started. Soon…. Wolf and I were getting our asses kicked… well sort of.
Anyways, the match soon ended and the kid said once again we’re fags and we should kill ourselves. I then said over the mic, “Hey, you know what you little shit, you better start using those words proper before I go to your home and kick your ass for what you said to me and changing those Wikipedia pages you fucker!”
Then somehow his mother heard what I said and she said, “What!? You did what!? Boy, I’m going to slap your ass so hard, you’ll be bleeding your ass out! I’ll get your father now boy! Father!? Go get your gun! You son here thinks it’s funny to change web pages on Wikipedia!”
Then the father said, “What!? Boy, I thought I taught you better then that when I was drunk. Come here you little shit!”
Then I heard three gun shots and a police came in, asking what the fuck was going on and shit happened. It was as if the world ended over at that place. Let’s just say an affair was happening, a peach was a bomb and purple people became an asshole eaters.
As I said, shit happened, let us move on with life here.
Well, I then asked Wolf, “Hey, Wolf, why don’t we ever play an RPG game nowadays?”
Then Wolf said to me, “I don’t know why, possibly because it’s too Asian like for us to handle?”
I then said, “Yea, but sometimes it’s awesome to play. I mean, take Persona 4 golden for example, it was a great game and it we should play it.”
Then Wolf said, “Hey, isn’t that the game with a weird and catchy intro to it?”
I then said, “Yea.”
Then Wolf asked, “What if you, your friends, and I were part of that intro and to say our life was like an RPG game. How would the intro be like?”
We then stared each other for a moment and I opened up a portal where this idea of a universe exists, and my god, I wanted to kill myself for what I had seen. I even had my jaw drop, along with Wolf’s to the ground. Fuck it man, I even punched Wolf for no reason in the head.
Anyways, we soon continued to Play Black Op 4 that night, and we also played a zombie map where you’re in a grave yard, and Zombie Michel Jackson starts to dance along with the zombies of course to Thriller.
It was the best map there ever was. Then, we went back home and the sun was about to rise. I then went to my front door and grabbed the newspaper, and for once, it wasn’t about me on the front cover and shit like that, although I was still the talked about news inside the paper though, but not front page at least.
Well, somewhere on the other side of town, there was Shadow, Mac farmer’s little brother. He was getting ready for school and shit, and of course, this chapter is about him, but I had to explain those parts to you I guess.
Well, Shadow was getting ready for school, and he was about to leave his house, when he asked Mac, “Big brother, do I have to go to school?”
Then Mac said to him, “Boy, I would let you stay home so I can continue to chug empty beer bottles at you, but Equestrian law states a bullshit law that all children have to go to school or I will be in a dungeon or something. So go on to your fancy school and shit, while I try to get pa up from his comma, at least I think he is in a comma. I hope he is, and then I can steal his shit from him, and buck the apples and shit.”
Then Shadow said, “But, don’t you usually go to the bar and get drunk with your friends instead of bucking apples all week?”
Then Mac said to his little brother, “Mac, smart talk like that is going to get your ass kicked around here in these parts, so shut the fuck up while I go get drunk and send more death threats to Applejack’s little sister, Applebloom. I would have you do it, but you’re a pussy.”
Then Mac spat on him and walked away to do his shit. Well, Shadow just stood there, didn’t know what to think of his own brother just spitting on him. Well, Shadow went to school…with no friends whatsoever, on his usual route.
He eventually got to school or schoolhouse I should say. Strange, it seems like the ponies are living in the 1800’s, but with all this technology they have, it seems like it is a normal time period.
Anyways, asides from that, he went into the building and took his seat. He was also just happened to be sitting next to a bully and a retard for a minion.
The bully’s name was Artier Heartless. Oh, you can see where this is going, can’t you? Also, I don’t know what’s up with his name, but it seems foreigny to me, but that’s my opinion.
Now his retard minion, was…surprisingly Retard. Yup, a pony named Retard, my god this show gets better and better by the minute. Well, the retard just did whatever Artier told him to do and was a fucking retard, so he didn’t do much.
In fact, I don’t know if the kid had any parents. I believe he did at one point, but due to him being a retard and all, he somehow killed them. That and he is kind of creepy, because he goes cross eyes ninety-five percent of the time you’re around him.
I’m actually getting kind of scared of him right now, even more then Neon, and that’s saying a lot. Well, Shadow sat in his desk, while Artier just said to him, “Ah! Your father is a drunken sleaze and your big brother is an all time douchebag, but my father and mother is dead, thank Celestia, while my big brother doesn’t give me any crap at all. So I clearly have to tell you this, so you can be ashamed and depressed about your life because I have no point in this at all.”
I still don’t understand what the fuck he said there, but I believe that is the first time ever the word Crap has been written in this here book you’re reading.
Anyways, so the teacher eventually walked in, and I could not tell if it was a stallion, but he was a lazy ass teacher and clearly didn’t give a fuck about the students. Although, now that I think about it...he was a stallion. Well, the teacher’s name was Latte Pop.
Well, Latte just walked right in by busting through the door as a manic would or something like that. Well, he then slumped to his desk and put his shit on the desk and he said to all the children in the classroom, “Listen up you little shits! Do whatever the fuck you want! I don’t give a fuck!”
Then a smart-ass nerd kid then said, “But sir, you must be joking. This is a school, for us fillies and colts to learn and expand our knowledge. It is also so we can learn about the real world and so you, the teacher, can prepare us for what is to come in the near future of our daily lives. So, may I suggest that you actually teach us something today instead of letting us do nothing at all and completely waste our time in this building that you call a school for once?”
Then Latte said to all the kids, “Whoever beats up the nerd kid get’s an A on their report card.”
Then all the kids, except for Artier, Shadow, the nerd kid and Retard, mostly because he is retarded, took out a knife and what appears to be a hammer.
Then the nerd kid looked worried and tried to make a run for it, but he was beaten to a bloody pulp and almost was left there at the school for dead.
Well, after the kids were done beating the shit out of that pony that I have no emotions for whatsoever, a female pony in the class with a bright yellow main did say, “I believe this nerd here has a point? We got to at least learn something or least give us something to look up ourselves later on.”
Then every pony agreed in the room, while the nerd pony just laid there with all of his teeth knocked out and blood bleeding from everywhere. Well, Latte then said, “Fine then, if it will get you little fuckers off of my fucking back, then learn something about cutie marks then.”
Then Latte did some crack and did other things that were not appropriate for the kids, such as looking at porno magazines in front of the class, but whatever, apparently the school system here in Stalia is much worse then in America.
Actually, I take that back, it is better than in America. Why you may ask even though it is not really much of a question at all? Well, I don’t know, but I just have a feeling that it just is.
Well, anyways the kids then talked and pretend that the nerd kid wasn’t there still lying on the ground with blood coming out from his mouth and talking about their shit and cutie marks.
Well, Shadow didn’t have anypony to talk to, so he just sat there like a bump on a log and pretended if he actually wanted to commit suicide, even though he just wanted a big brother that wouldn’t abuse him and some friends that would actually care for him.
Yea, you see, Shadow did have friends in the past, but they ended up ditching him and not give a shit about him. I mean, all he wanted was just a normal good pony life, and unfortunately, for him, he doesn’t get that, because Mac is a douchebag, his father is…I really don’t know.
I swear I’ve only seen him alive only once, but the rest of the time he’s unconscious all most all of the time. In fact...I think he's just plain old dead and Mac is in denial that the father's dead. That, and he didn’t have any friends, bully’s that are complete assholes and makes no sense, a teacher who doesn't give a flaming fuck about him, not one bit.
So basically, it was Shadow versus the world. However, of course, what about me and the other guys?
Well, for one thing, my friends do not care either, nor do I, but I do admit, I do feel bad for him, but I wasn't going to help him out. Besides, I wouldn’t know how to fix his problems without Mac complaining about shit that isn’t relevant and it’s all about Applejack, the parents finding out about me killing their son, Artier, and forcing them to be friends with Shadow.
That’s the only way that I could help him out, but it’s unfortunate that it would happen with problems that I can’t fix, but whatever, Shadow was on his own from my own point of view of things.
Well, soon the kids were talking about their cutie marks, and Shadow looked at his ass, for he was staring at a clear ass, because he didn’t have a cutie mark of his own. Well, soon Artier then said, “Well then, it appears that you have no cutie mark, and I have a cutie mark of money on my ass, so that means I am better then you in every way possible. Even though you can still possibly get a cutie mark that is better than mine, I’m still better then you.”
Then Retard said, “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, what do I do now boss?”
Then Artier said to him, “Quiet you. Now laugh with me Retard. Laugh with me until we remember of our days past and wait for day’s future to come and fuck with us and all that good jolly shit that these kids say these days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha h ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
Then Shadow was sad as shit and continued to look depressed, for he did not have a picture on his ass. So, Shadow sat in his seat, and waited for the school day to come to an end.
As soon as it ended, Shadow went back home to the farm and was outside. He was talking to Mac, and he was standing in front of a tree. Shadow said to his big brother Mac, “Mac, can I ask you a question? How do I get a cutie mark to appear on my flank?”
Then Mac said to Shadow, “Shadow, you need to hold still so I can aim at your head and throw this empty beer bottle at you and try to violently abuse you because I don’t give a fuck about you at all.”
Then Mac threw the bottle and Mac missed Shadow’s head by eleven feet. Then Mac said, “Dam it! That was my last beer bottle! Well, I might as well try to help you out since I can’t abuse you. Well, my guess is for you to do something in the family that is apple related. However, if it’s related to Applejack, I will then have to kill you and leave your body in the Everfree Froest for the Timber Wolves.”
Then Shadow said to Mac, “But, you do the same thing as Applejack does. You harvest apples and you sell them.”
Then Mac said to his little brother, “No! What I do is different then what shitty Applejack does with her shitty apples. She just sells apples that are shit, while I sell my apples differently. I cut a chicken's throat open over them and cover them with the chicken's blood, so it is a different apple taste then Applejack’s apples. I also sell them with nothing on it but when it’s been up a chipmunk’s asshole, which turns out it splits them in half, so I just throw the remains to the orphans down the street over there, leaving them to eat it raw and filled with maggots. Now come with me Shadow, so I can teach you how to sell Apples the right way and not the wrong way like Applejack does it.”
Then Mac and Shadow went to the market place in Stalia, to sell their apples. When they went to the market place, the market was booming. The tempo of Stalia changed.
Buildings were higher. The parties were bigger and the morals were loser. The liquor was cheaper and restlessness approached hysteria. Ok, that might have been a bit over dramatic a bit and might have or might have not been a rip off from The Great Gatsby.
However, you get the point that the place was doing very well that day old sport. Dam it, I did it again. Anyways, besides that and The Great Gatsby rip-offs, Mac set up the apple stand and put the apples out.
Then, Mac said to Shadow, “Now, listen and watch very closely. I’m about to show you how to sell some apples, and that is a much better way then what Applejack does. It’s even a professional way of selling things.”
Then Mac slowly took a knife out, went up to a random pony, and held him hostage, by holding a knife up to his neck. Then the random pony said, “Ah! What do you want from me!?”
Then Mac said in a kind way, “I want you to buy my mother fucking apples you piece of fucking dog shit!”
Then the random pony said, “Alright, I’ll buy your apples! Just please don’t hurt me!”
Then the random pony took out his money, which was in a bag and gave it to Mac, to which then Mac gave the random pony his apples that he was forcefully paid for.
Then Mac told him in a kind of voice, that was more kind then what Fluttershy would have said it in, “Now you’re my mother fucking bitch from now on you pussy!”
Then the random pony said, “Please, I have a wife and kids who are also standing right there and not doing anything to help me getting freed from you.”
Oddly enough, his wife and kids were standing right there, one mare and two daughters. However, they were just giving him a poker face type look.
Then Mac said, “Fine then, I’ll let you go, but next time you better buy my fucking apples you prick!”
Then the random pony said, “Yes, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, just don’t kill me.”
Then Mac said in a gritty voice, “So then, how is your day going so far?”
Then the random pony said, “It was going just fine and I was happy till you took me hostage and held a knife up to my throat!.”
Then Mac said, “That’s nice to hear. Have a good day sir and thanks for buying my fucking apples.”
Then Mac let him go, to which the random pony then ran away. While he was running away and his family mysteriously didn't follow him, he said, “Why did I have to come to Stalia today!? I am just a normal Ponyville citizen that’s just trying to buy some things from Stalia!”
Then Mac turned to Shadow and he said, “And that’s how you do it and sell some apples and be better then Applejack. Now it’s your turn to try.”
Then Shadow was about to take the knife from Mac’s hooves, until he said, “Get your own dam knife you little shit of mine.”
Then Shadow looked for a knife and found one on the ground that possibly had AIDS on it. Then he saw an old woman and walked up to her. Then as soon as Shadow walked up to the old lady, he said, “Um… buy my apples or I’ll cut you son of a bitch?”
Then the old lady turned around and she said to the little boy, “Oh, you have a knife I see. Stick that knife into my pussy. I want to feel the pain really hard, while I have bees stinging me up in my asshole at the same time.”
Then it appears to be that Shadow had come across the old lady that had a dark side to her. Well, Shadow then slowly backed up away, put the knife down, and had a depressing face on.
He even walked away from the apple stand because he knew he was not good at what he was trying to do. Along with that, Mac was giving him a look of shame and disappointment as he shook his head as Shadow was walking away as he said to him, "For shame Shadow... for shame..."
Well, Shadow walked around town, while Neon followed him with a guitar and singed him a song. I’ll admit, that the song and music itself was good, but the lyrics didn’t make much sense. Neon singed to the little boy…
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon, A silver spoon, Yes I have, Yes I have. I have been masturbating with a silver spoon, Yes I will, Yes I will. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la , I have been masturbating since I was a little colt, And I masturbated every day of my life since then. Yes I did, Yes I did. I even was taught to masturbate From a guy in a very dark alleyway. Yes I do, Yes I do. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la , La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, I have been masturbating with a silver spoon A silver spoon, Yes I have, Yes I have. I have been masturbating with a silver spoon, Yes I will, Yes I will. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, When I get on my pony knees, And pray to Celestia, That the dark days will not ruin my life, While I’m trying to masturbate to her. Yes I did, Yes I did. I even wait for moments in my bedroom, To wait for the dark clouds to go away, So the dark skies will no longer haunt me , While I’m in my dark room praying to Celestia, While masturbating at the same time, Yes I do, Yes I do. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, I have been Masturbating with a silver spoon, A silver spoon, Yes I have, Yes I have. I have been masturbating with a silver spoon, Yes I will, Yes I will. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la , La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, When those dark days come(Cum) I look upon my silver spoon, I see how depressed I am, Yes I Did, Yes I did. And I go get a rope to hang myself with. I then get to pony heaven, To which I can masturbate in paradise and in happiness, Yes I do, Yes I do. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
Well then, what the fuck did I just hear, or read for you guys. I’ll do admit, that the song was pretty good for the most part. Neon is also pretty good when it comes to the songs as well if you think about it for a moment. However, what you have to wonder is, where the fuck did Neon learn to play a guitar?
And for that matter, where did he get one, because I kind of want one now that I think about it. Also, I don’t know why shadow didn’t noticed that Neon was following him around and singing a song about that wasn’t really relevant to him at the moment. Listen, I’m sure in all point of our lives, we all masturbated with a silver spoon one time or another.
Now, it is ok, you can all admit it, we’re all friends here. And if you admit it, now I know who the fuck is a weirdo and I can say, what a bunch of fucking dumbasses and have my laugh of the joke that I just made.
Anyways, it took awhile, but Shadow finally noticed Neon behind him after Neon put his guitar away. Shadow said to Neon, “Were you just following me and singed a song about masturbating?”
Then Neon said, “Maybe I did, or maybe that talking magical fish over there by the river where a boy your age got murdered at by me could have done it.”
Then Shadow just stared at Neon for a bit, while Neon was a bit cross eyed and had very small pupils in his eyes while having a creepy smile on his face. Then Neon said, “What’s the problem kid?”
Then Shadow said, “Well, I don’t have a cutie mark on my flank and everypony else has theirs at school. They even make fun of me of it for not having one.”
Then Neon said, “Well, from your problem, you have one of two choices. You can either A: Go to school and murder everyone there with a penguin plushie toy and fuck an elephant with a hot rod in its eye sockets. Or, you can B: Go to the party store with me for no pointless reason at all and sing a random song that won’t do didly dick for you in any way possible, and possible drug you with a cupcake and harvest your organs and make cupcakes out of them. So, what’s your choice then Jr.?”
Then Shadow just curled up, as if he was afraid of Neon now and afraid to make a choice. Also, may I add, the way he curled up, he kind of looked cute the way he did it.
Anyways, Neon just continued to creepily stare at him, until Shadow said, “Go to the party store?”
Then Neon said aloud, “Now that’s the spirit!”
Then Neon took Shadow’s hooves and dragged him along to the party store. The Mr. Sweet wasn't there to take care of the register at the moment, so Neon was in charge of the place, and thank god that no one was killed or the place burned down, causing the great fire of Stalia.
Well, Neon and Shadow was in the kitchen, to which shadow asked, “So, what are we going to do here?”
Then Neon said, “Well, as I said, we were going to sing songs that are completely pointless and won’t help you in any way possible, so let’s sing a song…about moon crabs.”
What is Neon’s problem with Moon Crabs all of a sudden? Seriously, can he stop doing shit like that, but then again, Moon Crabs are his only friends. Well, Neon then grabbed his guitar out and started to sing. The lyrics were…
Moon crabs, They’re the best around. Moon crabs, They just want to be your friends. Moon crabs, Shut the fuck up and try it. They walk on the moon, In the vacuum of space. The look upon the stars, And dream of a good dream, Where they kill you. They feed off of whatever they can now, They even feed on rocks. They would even feed off of zombies. If you even went on the moon, And they saw you, They would get the munchies, And they would eat you. Now don’t worry a bit now, For they are the moon crabs. There is no resist, There is no hope for you if you even try to fight them. They’re just be in your nightmares, Every night you go to dreamland. They even are indestructible. The even have a secret weapon that they carry with them… They carry AK-47s!!!! So, next time you see them, Do not resist, Just let whatever happens happen now. So just let everything goooooooooooooooooooooooooo… So the moon crabs can munch off of you, Because they’re moon crabs.
after Neon was finished, Neon looked down and saw Shadow curled up into a small ball in a corner somewhere because he was fucking scared out of his mind. In fact, he just was deathly afraid of Neon now.
Well, at least I have someone on my side, but then again, Neon is cool and shit. Well, anyways, Then Neon continued to have a creepy smile on his face with the smallest pupils, and he asked Shadow, “So, you liked it!?”
Then Shadow said, “I’m afraid. Are the Moon Crabs going to kill me in my sleep tonight?”
Then Neon said to the little kid, “Nope, not unless you bang a moon crab’s wife. Then you would be killed by a giant corn on the cob!”
Shadow still gave no response, and still had fears in his eyes. Then Shadow said, “Can I please go home now. I’m afraid that the moon crabs will get me now.”
Then Neon said, “Well then…you want to hear another song that doesn’t involve moon crabs?”
Then Shadow said, “Yea…that sounds great! What’s the next song Neon?”
Then Neon said to the poor kid, “Oh…this is a song that I like to sing whenever I get blue on days like these. It will help cheer you up!”
Yea…it is a bit weird how Neon get’s cheered up by this, by I can see why because his instrumental skills are really impressive. Well, the lyrics were this...
All you need to do is kidnap a pony, And kick him in the nuts! Now take a little sharp knife, not dull, A bit of acid, Just a drop! The next step is such a bitch, But it still puts a smile on your face! Creeply walk up to the pony, And you will never will regret it! Killing! So Neat and Hasty! Killing! Killing! Don’t be so Pasty! Killing! Killing, killing, killing, KILLING!!!
Well then, those were the lyrics. Now, during the song, Neon literally randomly teleported a random pony into the room, and tied him up while playing his guitar.
Then, he took the knife, slit his throat, and start slowly killing him while saying the words killing over and over again.
Well, if this makes him happy and he stays the fuck away from me, I’m cool with this. And one more thing to note, Neon is just really good at making these songs for some reason, but they’re so fucked up in a way that I cannot even explain, but whatever.
It doesn’t matter that much because Neon does what Neon wants to do. Anyways, after Neon finished playing his last musical number for the day, Shadow went back into the corner where he was once before and curled up into a ball, for he was afraid once more.
When Neon was finished, he looked at Shadow like the last time he finished his last song, but this time, he had blood on his face.
Shadow said to Neon, right in his face. I even have to honor this kid for having such guts to say this in front of Neon and get away with it.
He said, “I’m scared now.”
Everyone, please honor this brave pony for he has earned it. I mean, you just don’t say that to Neon.
I mean, if you ever did say that directly into Neon’s face, you just released hell upon your poor cursed soul. You might as well finish up your bucket list, because it ain’t no unicorns and rainbows from there. Oh no my friend, its hell, and you do not want to go where Neon puts you in, because it is worse than a fate in hell.
Oh yes, it is Neon hell. It is a place where it is his rules and you have to play the game that never ends with him.
So, yea, that shit goes around here. Anyways, instead of Neon sending the kid into Neon hell, Neon simply just said, “You want to hear another song then Shadow?”
By the way, I bet that song was Neon hell. I’m pretty sure it would have made it into a number one spot if it was song if it was recorded on Earth. I mean, I heard it, and I’ll admit, it would reach to number one on the music charts.
Anyway, that happened, and instead of Shadow saying, ‘yes’, he just ran away.
However, while he was running away, Neon yelled back at him, “I’ll see you later in hell Shadow! Yes…I will see you in hell. No one says I’m scared to me. ha ha…ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!”
Then a timer went ding and Neon noticed it. When Neon noticed it, he stopped his laughing and he said, “Oh boy, the cupcakes are done. I wonder how it is going to taste without the organs I usually put in them. Although, even if they taste bad without the organs, it was still a fun time baking them while singing that song Pinkie Pie taught me.”
Then Neon walked away from the door and went to get and enjoy his actually, normal cupcakes that are not fucked up or have any organs in them in any way possible.
Also, I wouldn’t know if Neon was really serious about seeing Shadow in Neon Hell, because he isn’t dead yet. Although, you have to admit, sometimes you do want that kid to die…deep somewhere down in your heart.
You really do want him to die a painful slow death. You just do somehow, but at the same time, you don’t, because he’s just a kid and he’s somehow cute just a bit in some sort of way possible.
Anyways, Shadow then ran the fuck away from the Party Store and decided to check up on good ol’ Classy Jack and talk to him for some odd reason.
Well, Shadow found his place of work/home, and he knocked on the door. After he knocked, Jack answered it and Shadow asked if he could come in. Well, Jack said yes and he was let in.
Jack was working some shit of his that I’m sure is wacky and will lead to another what the fuck adventure, while Shadow found a nice spot to sit and talk with him. Shadow said, “Jack, can I ask you a question?”
Then Jack said, “Yea, sure I guess… but why ask me? Don’t you have Mac, your big brother, to tell you the birds and the bees?”
Then Shadow said to Jack, “Well, yes… but he wasn’t much help. Although he did tell me about the birds and the bees one night when he was really drunk. I’m not even sure if he was right or not.”
Then Jack asked, “Well what did he say about the birds and the bees?”
Then Shadow responded with, “Well, he said that the bees are usually making honey. They are busy and don’t want anything messing with their shiz… and that’s how Mac told me to say it. Well, a bird that was trying to steal their honey they worked so hard for many years attacked the bees then one day.
The next thing that you know, that the bees got angry, and killed the birds with a turd bomb and made them eat Applejack’s apples to which they died. Then the bees heard babies chirping noises coming from above their hive nest.
They then go to check it out and it was hungry baby birds. They then felt bad about it, because the birds were just trying to feed their younglings, so they decide to feed them some of their honey.
However, some of the bees disagreed with the other bees about the subject, and then there were debates about it. There were many political debates and government bee shutdowns and corruption as well.
Then it lead to a five hundred year war, which there were no bee survivors, and the baby birds died of Big Mac disease, while Applebloom feasted on their souls and tortured them in apple hell. They died that way instead of starving to death. Then my big brother just finished the entire seventh 64 oz. bottle of Vodka, threw it against the wall which almost hit my head, laid against me and cried through the night. He kept crying about how the apples don’t love him and he threaten the apples.
Then he said the apples were trying to sue him in apple court, but he shot the apple and felt bad about it. I asked him the next morning, but he called me a pussy and started to abuse me in the most wrong ways possible that are not sexually related.”
Then Jack said, “Son, let me tell you a few things. First off, I lost you at the part where the Bees had a five hundred year war. Second, once you said that Mac told you that the birds were trying to get honey, because that is just bullshit right there. I mean, your big brother was lying to you after he said that. Third, it was the Vodka that he drunk that made him do that. Lastly, I don’t care if he abused you or not. I really don’t care if he did. I mean, me and the other guys could not care less about you being abused. We’re cool being your friends and all, but we don’t care if you die or not. We just do not care.”
Then Shadow said, “Well…um…ok then, but Mac gave me a music sheet which is a song that the bees sung during the five hundred year war. The song was called, ‘I hate Applejack’s guts so much, I’m going to blow up her house because I am better than her.”
Then Jack just stared at Shadow for a bit, until he said, “Yea… he’s lying to you. Anyways, what is the question you wanted to ask me that you came to me in the first place?”
Then Shadow said, “Oh… um… I was just wanted to know…how do you get a cutie mark?”
Then Jack sighed and he said, “Listen…kid…getting a cutie mark is whenever you get one…ok? I mean, how I got my cutie mark was long and hard… hehe, long and hard. Besides, you really should not come and seek me for advice on how to do shit. I mean, I don’t even teach my little brother on how to do this kind of shit. In fact I try my best to be an asshole t him.”
Then Shadow started to have wide eyes and had a very surprised look on his face, he then said, “You have a brother?”
Then Jack sighed once more and closed his eyes, as if he just had a migraine, which I get sometimes from Neon surprisingly, but it then goes away because somehow Neon knows about it and replaces it with porn in my mind.
I don’t want to talk about it…ok. Anyways, Jack then said, “Look, kid, just listen up here for a moment. I am only going to say this once and once only…so listen well. I do have a little brother. My parents named him Cobalt Bow, but since they left him here with me, I call him White Curse, because he is a curse and a bitch. In fact, that is what everypony calls him almost every time they see him around, so call him by that. That and one thing I should mention is that I pretend that he doesn’t exist at all and that he’s just a kid that hangs around my shop and all.”
Then White came out of a room, looking a bit curious. He asked Jack, “You called my name brother Jack?”
Then Jack said, “Who are you and what you doing in my shop you little shit? Don’t you have parents!? Huh!? You better not steal anything from here kid, I’ll stab you fifty times in the chest, you got that punk kid!? I swear you’re the little bastard that has been stealing money from the tip jar that doesn’t exist because I just made it up.”
Then White just continued to have a… I don’t know… an ok type of face, since he’s been putting up with this for many years of his life so far. What white looked like was… Well, he had a bit of a between of a white and a grey coat. His mane and tail however…I can’t really explain, because it’s sort of hard to describe, but if I had to, it’s like a normal colt type of mane?
Well, he turned around and started to go back to his room and look at a porno magazine, because he was curious. I am sure that’s what little kids do, because they are still curious about the birds and the bees and no one can tell an accurate story about the birds and the bees.
I mean, that kid has a long ways to go before he knows what a stiff dick is and a pussy is at all. Then again, I learned sex when I was just eleven years old of age, and I turned out just fine.
I mean, I smoke weed, get drunk, say a lot of course words, but only because I’m around Wolf almost all of the time. I also make racists’ jokes; kill people and ponies, and a lot of crazy shit that a normal person or pony would not even do.
So, lesson is, just do what I do and you’ll turn out fine. Anyways, aside from that poorly crafted joke, White noticed Shadow and he had a bit of a surprised look on his face. He said, “Hey, what is your name?”
Then Shadow was a bit nervous, but he then calmed down and he said, “Well… my name is Shadow.”
Then White said to Shadow, “I’m White as you can tell by my brother Jack.”
Jack then cut into the conversation and he said, “Shadow… who the fuck are you talking to? I mean, are you ok? You need to see a therapist. Are you going insane and seeing either dead ponies or a pony that doesn’t exist?”
Shadow and White just decided to ignore what Jack said, and continue with their conversation about their shit. Well, White said, “Don’t mind my brother. He always does that to me. I mean, it may seem harsh at first, but after awhile, you’ll get used to it. Anyways…you want be friends?”
Then Shadow said, “Sure! I never really had a friend before. Although, why haven’t I seen you around school before?”
White then replied to Shadow, “Well, my parents believe that I should be home schooled instead of going to a public one. My Mom and Dad are afraid I will turn into just like my brother Jack, so they home school me. However, since they dropped me off here, they want Jack to home school me.”
Then Shadow asked, “Does he home school you?”
Then White said, “Well… not exactly. He just puts me in my room, gives me a bunch of random books that I am not even sure if they’re educational at all, and drop them on the ground for me. He just says to me ‘figure it out.’ I mean, he doesn’t even test me on them, nor does he even care about what I learn or what I think.”
It took Shadow a bit to sink all of that into his little colt skull, until he got an idea. Once he got that idea, he had a bit of a smile on his face, and he thought of a good idea… well… at least a good idea to him in his opinion.
To me it just says that he’s a fucking retard… somehow. I’m not sure how, but I’ll eventually find something about that’s horrible about Shadow’s idea. Well, Shadow then asked White, “Hey, why don’t you go to school with me instead of being here? As long as you don’t tell your parents, you and I could hang out together.”
White didn’t have to think for a second about that, and he immediately jumped to the conclusion of, “That sounds like a great idea! I mean, it sure beats looking at books that teaches me how to get rid of a dead body and trying to figure out what a clitoris is while looking at porno magazines.”
Then Shadow asked White, “So… you want to hang out and try to figure out how to get our cutie marks since we don’t have them yet?”
Then White said, “Sure. Although Jack did say that if I ever left the house, he would lock me out because he pretends that I’m a stranger to him and not family to him.”
Shadow thought for a bit, to which he said, “Don’t worry, We’ll figure something out. Maybe you can stay at my house in the mean time. I’m sure my big brother Mac would be fine with it. I can just imagine what he would say to it.”
Shadow was thinking of it indeed. What he was thinking of Mac yelling at the both of them and saying, “I’m going to fucking stick a pool table stick up your ass and light both of you on fire if you ever try to do that you little shits. Now go away as I plot my next terrorist like plot against Applejack and try to sell Dad on the black pony market.”
After Shadow had thought that, he said, “Yeah that would be great to hear from him…I think.”
Well it’s obvious here, that Shadow does not know what is right from wrong. However, I guess I can forgive that, since it’s all Mac’s fault and for once, it’s wasn’t Neon’s fault. Anyways, White then brought up the question, “So…where should we start in trying to figure out how to get our cutie marks?”
Then Shadow said, “Well…I didn’t really think of that. I think maybe Applejack could help us out…but Mac is going to hate us for going to talk to her.”
Then Shadow paused for a moment, until he said, “I’ve got it! We can go talk to my friend Knight. Maybe he knows how to get one.”
Then those two little shits went to my house. I was just reading the Equestria Daily News, until I heard a knock on my door.
When I heard it, I said aloud, “Go away! I’m not interested in joining a stupid religion! If you’re Jovial Witnesses, then you have five seconds before I rip your lungs out and shove it in your eye sockets!”
Then I just happened to looked up, and see a floating ghost like figure of a member.
He said, “But Knight, I’m already in here.”
Then I said, “Dam it! How do you keep getting into my fucking house!?”
Then the ghost said, “I go through the top of the house Knight.”
I then said to myself, “Well then, I just have to get that roof fixed then. Maybe I should make a bet with Wolf, win the bet, and make him do it. I don’t feel like fixing it. Wait a second, why I haven’t I called Ghostbusters yet from their universe?”
Then Bill Murray came the fuck out of nowhere and he said, “Don’t worry, I’m here. I was just a little late and got caught up in traffic.”
Then Bill used his proton pack and captured the ghost. He then picked up the ghost trap and started to walk away. As he was walking away, he said, “Have a nice day Technicolor talking pony.”
Next, for whatever reason, Shadow finally responded to my comment with, “What are you talking about it. It’s me, Shadow?”
I don’t know why he said it if it was a question. Maybe he is unsure of his existence. Maybe…he doesn’t exist at all. What a twist! That was a shitty M. Night joke but it gets better, I promise.
Anyways, I then got up while being annoyed, and went to open the door to talk to them. When I did, I faced the two colts, and I said to those little shits, “What do you want Shadow? Aren’t you supposed to be like being abused by Mac and have broken glass all up in your face? That and who is this little fuck that you have for a friend that I clearly have no interest in at all?”
Shadow then replied with, “Well, this is my new friend White Curse. He’s Jack’s little brother.”
I then said, “That explains the name for the kid then. Although, why didn’t Jack mention a little brother to me?”
White then said, “My big brother tries to pretend I don’t exist and pretends that I’m not there or a little kid in his shop planning on stealing something.”
I then said to the little shit, “That’s not surprising to me. I would do the same thing if I had you as a little brother.”
Then White said, “Why doesn’t anypony like me? I mean, my mom almost had an abortion while she was pregnant for me.”
I then commented, “Perhaps if you weren’t a little shit all the time, maybe you would have at least be known for being forever alone. Although for Shadow, even though I don’t care about him, I still feel for him though.”
Then Shadow said, “Thanks Knight.”
I then said back to him, “Sure, whatever you say donkey ass raping whore metal can monster of a hoe that has a telephone up its ass. Maybe I had too much weed.”
I then retreated into my house to understand what the fuck was going on, while the two little colts just stood there, dazed and confused. However, they didn’t leave yet.
At the time, I was wondering, ‘What the fuck do they want!? Do they want me to buy fucking cookies or something!?
Maybe if they are selling the coconut ones, I’ll buy it, because that shit is good. That and Wolf needs a hole in his life while Princess Molestia is away and not dicking around with him…along with some butter to make it a bit easier for him.’
Well, when I retreated, I said to myself, “How much pot did I have last night while playing with Wolf? Dam it; I had better not have another hangover again. Hey Tiger, do you know how much pot I had last night?”
Then the tiger…that strangely enough I named Tiger. I’m not very creative when it comes to names all the time. Anyways, the tiger from that time when I had that hangover adventure when it appeared in my house without remembering getting a tiger just yawned at me and went to sleep.
I then said to Tiger, “You’re a great fucking help… you pussy ass bitch. Wake the fuck up! Tell me how much pot I had last night you piece of fucking shit! Do it or I’ll cut your fucking tiger balls off and do your dead tiger mom with it! Man…I’m just really high right now…aren’t I? I mean, he isn’t giving a shit, I’m high, and…the two little colts are in my house right now, heard what I just said.”
Then Shadow said, “Well, it isn’t all that bad. I mean, my big brother Mac usually says that I’m a piece of shit that won’t fuck a dog on a piece of candy on the moon with stars up my dick. He also said that when he was drunk as well, so, it isn’t all that bad. It could’ve been worse.”
I then sighed and asked the two kids, “Listen, just tell me what you want so you can get the fuck off of my property.”
Then White cut into the conversation and he said, “Even though I haven’t met you and all, but since my brother Jack talks about you sometimes at random, but doesn’t Princess Celestia owns this property since she is the one who paid for it in the first place so you could live in it?”
I then responded back with, “Kid, do you want your mouth shoved up an old lady’s anus that has none stop shit coming out twenty four/seven, while having AIDS up a python’s eye socket…or do you want me to answer a question that you have for me?”
Then Shadow said, “Well…we were wondering if you could tell us how to get a cutie mark and all Knight, so we could possibly try to get one of our very own one day.”
I then said to both of them, “You two kids are officially retards of this town, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Kids, do you see a picture on my ass?”
Then White hesitated a bit and said, “Uhhhhh…….”
I then said once more, “I said, do you see a picture upon my mother fucking asshole, you two retard kids that can go fuck yourself with a skunk and down it with beer!? Do you fucking see a fucking picture on my fucking ass!!!”
Then White hesitated once more, to which I then stuck my ass all up in his face, while saying to him, “Look at my fucking ass and tell me what you see!”
Then Shadow finally spoke up and he said to me, “Well…is it your ass or that ass standing right behind you.”
I then said, “What the fu…”
I then turned around to see what Shadow was talking about, to which it was a donkey behind me that somehow broke into my house without me noticing him.
He said to me, “Hello neighbor. I just moved in next door to you. I just recently moved from Ponyville with my wife and two innocent kids who love me very much and would not want a single bad thing happen to me at all. I moved here to Stalia because a good friend of mine named Twilight and Pinkie Pie told me very good things about this town, along with you being a very good friend and a neighbor to have indeed. I can see your very truthful friend of Twilight and Pinkie Pie were certainly telling the truth about their words. You are a very nice pony. I can see that you and I will get along together just fine, for I am an innocent, harmless, friendly donkey that just wants to be friends with you so badly and do not see any danger of being your friend. Well, I can see that you have a very nice home. Where did you get half of this…”
I then cut him off and said on the top of my lungs, “That’s it! I had enough with this random bullshit happening to me right now!”
I then took the donkey, tackled him into the kitchen and slammed him into my kitchen counter top, to which I then used a number of objects beat him to a bloody pulp with it.
I used objects such as toaster, a microwave, pots and pans, a blender, and a spatula. I then lastly took a waffle iron, which strangely enough that you can plug into it, weird, and turned it on.
I then forced his face into it, to which he was screaming in pain due to his face being burned off with the hot surface of the waffle iron. I then proceeded to slam the lid shut on his head repeatedly, until he was almost dead, and he was bleeding all over the place as well.
While I was doing such an innocent thing, he pretty much made that noise that a donkey makes, like hee haw or something like that. Is there even a word for such a noise?
Then again, I live in Equestria, so I would not know, because these ponies here are intelligent enough to not fucking question and make up a song what the fuck noise that foxes make. Just saying is all, because it is intelligent in all seriousness. Anyways, after I almost killed the donkey, which strangely enough I threatened him if he ever told his family what I did to him, I’ll cut him. I was so high that day, I cannot explain it.
Also, he woke up, he said out loud, “Why did Twilight lie to me!? Why!? I just wanted to be friends with the guy! I’m never trusting that lying bitch again! She’s supposed to be good to her subjects, but never lie to them! I’m never trusting what an Alicorn says again!”
Anyways, as I was saying before, right after I did that, I then turned my attention back to the two little colts once more with no more distractions…get away giant talking banana…I’m not in the fucking mood…Anyways, as I was saying, I went up to the two little kids and said, “I’m sorry that you had to see that.”
Then Shadow said, “That’s ok, Mac does that whenever we have guests over and it’s not his friends.”
I then stared blankly at them, and started to wonder…why? I then said to both of them, “Well then, now I know why I hear screams in the middle of the night that comes from Mac’s place. Anyways, as you can tell, there is no picture on my ass, so now you have your answer, get the fuck away from me you little shits.”
Then Shadow looked a bit depressed for a bit, till he said, “Well…I guess so…but the only person who I can talk to is Applejack.”
I then said to them, “Why do I have a feeling that you are going to beg me to distract Mac so you two can run off and go talk to her, so Mac doesn’t think you’re a traitor and try to kill you because you talked to her?”
They then stared at me with two puppy dog eyes, that says, ‘Please…I’ll suck your dick if you do it.’
I then said, “Fine then, but you fucking owe me. I can’t believe that I have to talk to Mac who is insane instead of my smoking my poorly grown weed.”
I also said that as I was walking out of my house. Anyways, we then walked to Mac’s house, and eventually got there, to which I started to look for Mac. It took me a while, because it was just a sea of endless apple trees that Mac grew himself, which kind of smelt a bit nice that day.
I have to say, that if I see one more fucking apple tree, I’m going to staple my balls to my forehead, because I’m sick of looking at them. Well, eventually I found him, starting fight with an Apple tree.
Yes, he was drunk off his little pony ass, talking trash to a tree, to which he believed it was talking shit about him and his apples, along with saying that Applejack is better then him. I overheard him say, “You piece of fucking shit. You can go fuck yourself, you lonely piece of shit of a tree. You couldn’t even bang half the chicks that I do every day…which is none! You think you better than me. Well do you!? Well fuck you, you can shove Applejack’s apples right up your tree asshole, so suck it tree. What, you want to rumble? I’ll fucking rumble with you.
'Just don’t say I didn’t warn that I’m a mean mother fucking boxer. In my day, I was the national championship boxer, and took out a pony named Ali McDouchebag! He was the strongest pony there ever was, who had the fanciest mustache throughout the land, to which Celestia fucked him, to which I was greatly pissed off at, because I fucked her before he did, so he didn’t deserve any of the cookies. Alright tree, you better get ready for a pounding of your life, better prepare to run like a pussy mother fucker.”
Then Mac upchucked everything that he ate that morning including his beer he had just consumed. He just threw it up all over the tree; I thought I saw a dead rabbit in it. Well, after Mac finished puking, he was still standing to which he said to the tree, “Take that you bitch.”
I then walked up to him, with the children behind me; because I’m pretty sure they needed child services. Well, I walked up to him, and said to him, “Hey Mac, can I talk to you for a bit?”
Then Mac noticed me and he just had a blank expression on his face when he saw me. In fact, he even noticed the children, although he had a bit of an angry expression on his face.
For a minute, I thought he finally realized he hates kids, so he’s asking me to put down Shadow. I wouldn’t have done it, but an Old Yeller joke had to be made at the time, so I would have been willing enough to do such a thing.
Anyways, Mac then said to me, “Hey Knight, how’s it going? Why do you have Shadow and his gay friend with him? Did they do something bad? Dam it Shadow, when are you ever going to learn your lesson about not bothering my friends you piece of worthless shit! This time, you’re going to get your ass slapped till the cows come home and put you in the barn house till you learn your lesson and thought about what you did.”
I then said to Mac, “First off, you and me have to talk about you being a big brother to Shadow here before child services come and beat the shit out of you. Second, that’s not why I’m here. Although, they did annoy the shit out of me, but that’s not it though. I just wanted to…to…to..son of a bitch…um…to talk to you about attacking Applejack?”
Then Mac had a surprised happy look on his face and knocked down the two kids that was behind me. He then got up all up in my face and said to me, “You’re finally agreeing with me!? You want to help take out Applejack and her family, including relatives!?”
I then said to him, “Yeah…sure…whatever distraction works with you, I’m totally fine with that happening.”
He then said to me, “Why, this is the greatest news I have heard in years! Oh this joyous day of news, I am so happy with glee upon my face! Quick, we must get the crusade together before we strike at her heart! Peasant, set the signal on fire!”
Then a random pony that was in drag and in rags was holding a torch that was next to a pile of sticks. He then said, “Aye aye sir!”
He then lit the pile of sticks on fire, to which it gave a signal to put the other sticks on fire that was miles away, to which it made some movie reference and it set a signal to a group according to Mac.
Mac then said, “Now the crusade has been notified of our coming! Quick Knight, we shall have to travel to the great beyond the mountain that we see with our very eyes to get to the crusade. On ward Knight, for step one of our plans to defeat Applejack is almost complete!”
He then ran along with dragging me along as well. As he was dragging me along with him to hell… I mean to the great beyond, I said to myself, “What the fuck have I gotten myself into!”
I then left and then did a weird montage of scaling mountains as high as the birds could fly.
In fact, we got up to high attitudes, that it was cold as fuck. I mean, my ass was freezing. Well, long story short, since I don’t want to go off on some other random bullshit that requires Morgan Freeman to narrate, because…
MORGAN FREEMAN’S NARRATION…
I’ve fucking got it from here Knight. Keep your fucking pony shit together…aright?
Anyways, as Knight said, we’re going to keep it short, but I’m sure by the time you reading this, you’re already complaining that you don’t have enough information of to which you can go off of and what was it really like for Knight.
In fact, you possibly hate Knight’s life right now and thinking that it was barely described. Well, here’s what I said to that, fuck you and go eat a dick you piece of Black Racists.
Now, since we got all the white people out of this, let us get to this part of the story, and even though this book is going to a random person…hopefully…me, Morgan Freeman, can still tell if they hate it or not, so go fuck yourself.
Besides, I’m Morgan Freeman, I can do whatever I please bitch, even if it does mean breaking the fourth wall.
Anyways, Knight and Mac traveled very far and great distances. They pushed through the snow and ice storms they encountered, but eventually got to their destination. Their destination was a little wooden shack, built on the top of a mountain, which was lit with a very light and poorly made fire.
As soon as Mac and Knight got to the shack, Knight knocked down the door, for he was cold as fuck.
When he got in, he fell to the floor, because he was cold as fuck and needed some warmth. Well, after he got back up so he could continue to what the fuck he was doing, he noticed a bunch of man that looked like they belonged from Skyrim and Lord of the Rings.
They all stood there, telling of stories of days past, along with singing some folk songs and eating soup of some kind that is possibly some weird ass soup.
Remember; see what the black guy did there?
Well, as soon as Knight saw who was in the shack, Mac came in and shut the door. Mac then said to everyone as a quick speech, “Listen up you all lazy assholes! I come with great news from the mainland that is known as society, where all ponies actually are not weird and socialize, which you all should do sometime. Anyways, that is not why I am here, but I bring of good news, that we have another member who wants to fight back. And…since he is a student of Princess Celestia we have strong support on our side now! Now, we have enough strength to take down Applejack. Now, we shall go forth into Ponyville tonight, and we shall strike where it matters to her the most!”
Then one the members spoke up, and no, it was not to leave the group. Instead, it was, “Wait a single second here. You promised us that if we helped you kill Applejack, you would help us kill the dragon and get us our home back before we help you?”
Then Mac stood there for a moment and he said, “Right, about that…fuck you, we’re going with my plan.”
Then another member of the crusade then said, “Well then, it looks like you’re fucked, because you’re not getting help from us then.”
Then as all the members were about to leave, he then said, “Fine then! Me and Knight shall help you get your home back, and then help us out.”
Then another member said, “Good, we better get going then if we want to make it to our home in time before Luna’s moon settle’s in for the night.”
They then left the small wooden shack and to make a long adventure story short, they ended up making a Hobbit parody, from An Unexpected Journey.
Well, eventually that parody finished up and they eventually got to the home of the dreaded dragon. As soon as they entered the huge ass double doors, which I never saw a point to having them in the first place at all, they entered the main throne room where the dragon was having his afternoon nap in.
He was sleeping upon the mountains of gold and bits that were scatted around the room. The crusade then soon tip-hoofed through the throne room, not trying to make a sound to wake up the dragon.
They then went into stealth mode like in Splinter Cell: Blacklist, and was ready to kill the dragon in his sleep.
They were all in the ready position to kill, until one of the members soon fucked everything up and ran towards the dragon. While he was running, he said, “Leroy Jenkins!”
Then he stumbled onto the floor, to which he woke up the dragon and the dragon woke up from his deep slumber. When the dragon woke up, he was pissed off to a boil and looked upon the pony, as if he was his next meal instead of a shitty CGI bird.
He looked at the poor white guy pony, to which he as well looking upon the dragon’s eyes. He looked upon them with pure happiness and hope. He then said to the dragon, “Mr. Dragon, I hope you’re a chick, because I have such a pony boner right now and I want to fuck your brains out right now.”
To which the dragon’s reply was burn him to death, for which the dragon did so. The dragon breathed fire upon the pony’s skin and killed him.
Then the dragon made a loud roar that could be heard throughout the room and looked at the remaining crusaders. He then went after them, to which the leader of the crusade, which was Mac said, “Retreat!”
The crusade then ran out of the place and the dragon was eventually killed outside, in a non-interesting battle to the death. However, unfortunately, only Mac and Knight were the only survivors.
How the dragon died you might ask…well, he died of ghost AIDS, because as the dragon was about to fuck up Knight and Mac, the ghost of the pony that ruined everything came back as a pony ghost and raped the dragon in ghost form. I’m not sure either how that is even possible, but apparently the dragon got Ghost AIDS and died. Well, as soon as the dragon died, Knight said, “What the fuck just happened right now?”
To which Mac replied with, “Well, we just killed a dragon and our plans to kill Applejack is now ruined. Oh well, let’s go home.”
Soon, Knight and Mac made the journey back home, which again was like the parody of The Hobbit, such as There and Back Again. Well, eventually that made the long journey back home to the non-peaceful town of Stalia.
Knight went back home to end his day of pure bullshit, and Mac went back home. When he went back home, his father was still on the couch, not showing any signs of life, but was somehow still alive for some strange reason.
He was also greeted to the sight of Shadow, White, and a filly, all laughing together and talking about some shit. Then Mac said, “What the fuck happened here? Who is this chick Pegasus?”
Then Mac gasped and he asked Shadow, “Wait…Shadow, did you rape her or something? If so, I am so proud to be your big brother and promise to slightly care about you more from now on, because you made me proud.”
Then Shadowed said, “Well, no…this is what happened Mac…”
Now, let Knight handle the rest for you, while I go and dream of black guy stuff…
BACK TO KNIGHT
Thanks…thanks Morgan Freeman…You’re a real asshole you know that right? Well, I suppose you all must be wondering what the fuck happened with Shadow’s side of the story now.
Well, after I was taken by Mac to do some shit with him, Shadow and White just stood there for a few seconds. Then Shadow said, “Well…,I guess this is our chance to go to talk to Applejack then since this is our chance.”
They then both traveled to Ponyville, and strangely enough in record time as well. Well, they eventually hit Applejack’s farm, to which Applejack was bucking some apples.
She was minding her own business, when she noticed a noise was made behind a tree. When she noticed it, she had somewhat a pissed off look in her eyes.
She was looking at her apple trees that were visible to her and even squinted her eyes a bit, as if she was an Asian pony or something.
What is wrong with her and trying to think she’s Asian? She’s a redneck who doesn’t give a shit about foreigners and their fancy vehicles and believes anyone would own a gun. Granted, this is a My Little Pony universe, so that doesn’t matter here. Well…for this universe that is, because we all know that there exists a universe where the Mane six do drugs, kill each other…kind of like my life story right now.
Well what do you know, there is an entire universe that is about me, that’s awesome. Also, I know I’m surprised as well that I just used another fancy word you fancy, ignorant, picky son of a bitching pricks.
I mean, as a pony, a pony like me would never have fucking used the word granted, but for some reason, you are all shocked now, possibly believing the world is ending and pissing your pants right now.
Perhaps even shitting your pants if I’m lucky, but then again you’re a bunch of idiots. Even though I haven’t met you and this is for a story for the future that I somehow seem to constantly remind you all, or you would think you’re dreaming, and of course that’s what you wish what it was, but sadly, this isn’t Inception, although I wish it was.
Then shit would be cool every day, like walking on walls and shit. Yeah…that is fucking awesome, but back my life’s story that you all really do not care about, because you have no fucks to give.
Anyways, besides that random bullshit right there that just happened, Applejack was pissed off and worried that it was Mac. The sounds that were made behind the apple trees were made again, and Applejack took a step closer.
She then said aloud to that tree, which that apple tree deserved a good yelling for doing absolutely nothing, but all trees eventually need to be punished occasionally. Anyways, Applejack yelled, “Mac, is that you!? You better get your plot off of my darn property before I get my brother Big Mac on you! I swear to you Mac that Big Mac will not go easy on you this time! I’ll give you five seconds to come on out here and explain to me why you’re on my property!”
Then Shadow and White slowly came out behind the tree. Ok, first off, here is a question that I even don’t know.
I mean, sure, I’m over fifty-thousand years old, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do everything. I mean do you think Celestia could just magically solve things, such as major problems in the land of Equestria when it happens.
Do you obviously think that she could ever use her magic, since she is like a goddess and all, and use her magic to solve a hunger problem.
To say there wasn’t no food left in Equestira, you think that Celestia good just magically make food appear and that would be that? You think she could stop a war and shit? Fuck no, she can’t!
Not because she is a girl, or though, I wouldn’t mind making a sexist joke sometime. In fact, note to self, when right moment is right, make a sexist joke.
Anyways, it’s not because of that, but even god like beings or powerful beings or some shit like that that has some shit to do with me has their limits to their abilities.
Anyways, the question is why the fuck Shadow and White didn’t just come out of the tree the first time, instead of forcing Applejack to threaten them by mistake. Man, I would make a good Cinema Sin guy for YouTube.
Anyways, other then why asking Shadow and White didn’t do that in the first place, they came out to confront Applejack.
Man, I’m using so many different words now that you all must be thinking that the world is ending already.
Of course by now, I’m being sarcastic, because there’s a million things that humans can’t catch onto and do jackshit for it. Anyways, that shit happened, while Shadow and White had a bit of frowns on their faces…strangely enough. I wouldn’t know why they would have it in the first place.
I mean. They didn’t do anything wrong, unless it’s their fault they caused 9/11 to happen? Then again, they look old enough to be suicide bombers. I mean, when newborn babies are born in the Middle East, the first ten seconds of their life, they are given a name, and are put in a terrorist training camp.
Of course, why didn’t I see it before!? Those tricky Muslim bastards. They are using babies to blow up other American places, because it is a clever disguise.
Moreover, it appears that they send in little colts to do their dirty work. I have to keep a close eye on Shadow and White now. I don’t know about them anymore. They seem suspicious now.
Then again, I’m pretty sure ninety-nine point ninety-nine of you are all saying that I am an idiot. Well then, would an idiot say sock it to me!? I see not! Anyways, when Applejack saw the two little colts appear, she put a little smile on her face and was relived a bit.
She said to herself, “Well thank Celestia it isn’t Mac. You had me going there for a second that it was your big brother Mac.”
Then Shadow said, “Sorry Cousin Applejack, we were just a bit afraid of coming here. Especially if Mac ever knew about me coming here, he would do bad things to me, but yet he says it because he’s teaching me a lesson not to like you.”
Applejack had a bit of an annoyed face on while she remembered those annoying times with Mac. However, Applejack shrugged it off and she said, “Well, don’t worry, even if he does find out, you’re always welcomed to stay here. I mean it isn’t like you’re shunned from the Apple Family Shadow. In fact, every pony in the Apple Family likes you and they do wish they could see you as well. But since you live with Mac…well we can’t do much to help you because we’re all afraid that Mac is going to do something that’s going to start a war or something.”
Then Shadow looked up with a curious face upon his…face, and he said, “Everypony wants to see me?”
Then Applejack said, “Well, sure. You’re the only one, other than Mac and your pa, who is shied away from the Apple Family. You’re always welcomed to come over here as long as you will like if you want. I mean it isn’t like you act like them anyways. Anyhow, what brings you and your little friend over here to Apple-Acres and risking to get caught by Mac?”
Shadow then said, “Well, me and my friend White wanted to know how we can get our cutie marks?”
Once Applejack heard the words getting out cutie mark, she had an annoyed face once again, for she remembered those time that she had with her little sister and her friends trying to gain one as well. She then sighed to herself and she mumbled to herself, “Not again.”
She then said to Shadow with her full attention, “Shadow, getting a cutie mark isn’t the matter of you knowing what to do to get one, but it’s waiting for the right moment in which you find what you’re good at. Do you understand?”
Then, Shadow said, “Nope.”
Also, he said it like it was a joke or something, and I’ll admit, I chuckled a bit. Anyways, Applejack then gave it some thought, as she didn’t want to go through what she did with Applebloom.
She then said, “Well, there is a little cutie mark party going on at Sugar Cube Corner, maybe you can come along with me so I can go with Applebloom, so you can talk to the other fillies and colts on how they got their cutie marks. Then maybe you’ll understand on getting a cutie mark.”
Shadow stood there for a while, thinking about what Applejack had just said not long ago. Then, Shadow reached to a conclusion and he said, “Sure, that sounds fine than just fending off for myself and getting taught by my big brother.”
Then Applejack said, “Then it’s settled then. Hey, you can even meet your cousin Applebloom if you get a chance. I mean, she never met her cousin Shadow, in matter of fact, she doesn’t know that you’re her cousin at all. We’ll leave as soon as I finish bucking my apples. I have to get them harvested before they start to go bad. Maybe you and your friend could help.”
And so they did, while also singing a song, which yea I know the songs are starting to get a bit tiring here, but for once, we’re going to skip it. Why you may ask in your mind of pure shit?
Well, it’s because there just too many to list and to remember. It is also quite a shame, really, because this one was actually a normal one that you would see on the show. However, hey, that’s life.
Anyways, they soon left to go the party down at Sugar Cube Corner. However, back in Stalia, which was happening while the shit with Applejack and Shadow was at the same time.
Jack had just finished his work for the day, while I was somewhere on a mountain fighting off ogres and shit, while some wizard with a shitty ass stick was saying, “None shall not trot a very slow pace to pass me!”
In other words, a shitty version of a famous line. Anyways, Jack had just finished, and he got another knock in his door. When he did, he said to himself, “It better not be that little Asian kid who hangs around my shop and is eyeing to still my shit.”
When Jack opened up the door, it revealed a child filly that went by the name of Misty Midnight. I have to admit, it sounds like a good name for a Pegasus filly.
And for once, my group of friends those who are not off the show will no longer appear to be sexist. It’s sad, yes, I mean even though we still had Mrs. Sweet, she’s a bitch because I barley know her, so whatever, you get the point.
Anyways, her coat color was a…how do I put it? It was a mix of winter, icy, night sky colors. It’s like for the winter, or something like that.
I wouldn’t know what exact color that would be, but that is the general description to give for her coat color. It also include for her mane and tail. Her mane, I wouldn’t know how to describe it.
It’s hard to tell because…I don’t know, but it felt like it was beautiful on her. Anyways, other than that and making me look like a pedophile there for a moment, her tail was also a long type of tail other than a tomboy-ish look to it.
For her eye color, it was a beautiful Midnight Blue type of color. She too did not have a cutie mark of her own. In fact, she acted a bit odd at first when she went up to Jack’s door.
She was wearing like a cloak or something or a bit of rags, I suppose. In fact, it turns out that she was an orphan, which was living at the orphanage. From what I could gather, she had a loving family at one point, but they soon disappeared without a trace, and Misty never got a chance to get to know them, as they left her, with a few siblings when she was just a newborn. Anyways, when Jack opened the door, he said gasped and said, “Why…you’re not that kid that comes in here and pokes around! Who are you!? What are you doing here and where is that kid!? I kind of miss him right now.”
Then Misty said, “Excuse me sir, but…may I ask if there was a colt that came here that goes by the name of Shadow?”
Then Jack said, “Yea, he’s my friend’s little brother that we don’t give a crap about. He came here not too long ago with a kid that apparently goes by the name of White. I believe if I guessed correctly, they went to Ponyville and some shit happened to them. I really don’t know, but it’s just a very easy guess to make. Why are you looking for them anyways?”
Then misty said, “Well…I don’t know how to explain it. I rather want to make friends with them, in fact, I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time, but I was too nervous to do so. Anyways, I will be on my way now. Sorry if I bothered you.”
Then Jack said while squinting at her, “Oh, you did you little bitch. Thinking you can come up to me and bother me like a little whore.”
Jack then closed the door on her face, to which Misty then proceeded to go on her ways to Ponyville and try to find Shadow and White. You can already tell where this is going, can’t you?
Well, while that was happening, shit was going down at Sugar Cube Corner. A little party was thrown for a filly that got her cutie mark not too long ago.
Most of the kids were from Ponyville, and when I mean by that, Shadow and White were the only kids or ponies for that matter that wasn’t from Ponyville, but somehow they knew how to blend in with the crowd. You want to know they did it, they act normal and not crazy like how every pony else does in Stalia.
Well, they were together, asking other fillies and colts, mostly fillies since the population of Ponyville of Mares result in…I’m not sure how to put it. Let’s just say that if you pair a pony dick with a pony pussy in the town, you would have three-hundred pony pussies without a pony dick to keep it company and filled.
That was a horrible dirty joke, but does have some sort of potential to be a good dirty joke. Anyways, Shadow and White kept asking around, but roughly, the replies that they got on average was, “Well, I was doing, whatever the fuck they were doing, and all of a fucking sudden, they got their cutie mark on their little tiny asses.”
That’s just to roughly sum up most of the answers, and yes, they did use, all of a sudden in their answer. God, I really want to put a bullet in their head, by doing it manually by pushing it in myself into their head.
Other answers that they got were that they had problems or they painted a picture on their asses, or something more disturbing. I don’t know, use your imagination, because your guess is as good as mine.
Well, Shadow and White were stumped…and apparently retarded, because they weren’t realizing that they had to wait until the right time they would get their cutie mark.
Well, they ended up being in a corner, while Applejack went up to both of them. She said, “Well, do you understand what you have to do to get your cutie mark now Shadow?”
Then Shadow said, “No, the kids were saying the same things about getting one unexpected.”
Then Applejack then gave herself a facehoof, because she couldn’t believe how retarded that they were. I mean, they were not getting the message through their retarded skull.
After Applejack finished punching herself in the face…very lightly I might add, so it wasn’t a punch, but a facehoof, she said, “Well, I suppose you two don’t want to stick around for the cake then. I guess you two should start to head out back on home in Stalia before it gets dark. I don’t want you two getting stuck in the Everfree Forest, for who knows what may lurk in those scary woods.”
Then White said, “Well, I suppose we should.”
Then both of them was about to get up, until Applejack said, “Well, hold on just a minute. Before you two leave, I would like Shadow to meet his cousin Applebloom. I’ll go find her so both of you can say hi to one another.”
Then she walked away to go find her, which she was with her friends, still trying to find a way to get their cutie marks. After she left, Diamond Terri spotted both of them, that they were blank flanks. Diamond said to her friend, “Look at those two blank flanks at a party like this. This party isn’t for them at all!”
Then her friend, who the name will not be mentioned, for she is a bitch, “Yea, what do they think they’re doing here for a party for only those who have cute marks. Although, we can push them around and call them names since they are blank flanks. Don’t you agree?”
Then Diamond said, “I like your thinking. We shouldn’t let them go to waste.”
Then those two little whores walked up to them. When they did, Shadow saw them. When he did, he said to white, “They look like bullies. I don’t know why, but those evil grins on their faces is giving it away to me. Maybe we should go and wait outside for Applejack.”
They then got up, but before they could move an inch, Diamond walked up to them and she said, “Well, what do we have here Silver Spoon?”
Then her friend said, and yes, , even if she said it, I won’t say it, “Well, it looks like we have a couple of blank flanks to me. It also looks like they’re new around here.”
Then Diamond said, “Well then, I suppose they are new in town. Where did you come from, Lamesville?”
Then Shadow said, “Well…we come from the town of Stalia, not too far from Ponyville. We live there, so, we’re not new here at all.”
Then Diamond said, “Oh, so you do live in Lamesville, where everything is lame and boring. It’s like a one mule town I suppose.”
That last sentence…I don’t know…but I think it means something. Anyways, then Shadow said, “Well, not really. I mean. We do have the Elements of Protection. I mean, they did go into the Everfree Forest where they escaped from a falling cliff, made trees walk, had a menticore and a rock mate to make a moon crab, went to the moon, persuaded a gay sea serpent to kill someone and still everything that he owns.
They also went on an adventure where one of them went to a world called Inception, had a quick adventure with giant robots. They even defeated Princess Celestia’s evil clone that she never told anypony else about except for her pupil and the town of Stalia. They also killed some ponies, a pony name TK went through the woods and found a forgotten town that had infected ponies in it that could kill any pony with a single bite. They also had a monster attack the town, a pony named Derpy Hooves stuffed muffins up her butt, a pony named Doctor Whooves that travels to different worlds came for a visit.
'Then a Griffin guy that was a bully like you two came but I believe Knight made him disappear, or killed him anyways, a party was thrown but no one can remember it. Then there a User Major was skilled with an explosion and the child of that Major ate it, a dragon almost took over the town but was soon killed, a pony named dark almost killed everypony. Then there was a night where the mafia almost kill two ponies. Then my brother and his friends almost killed a zebra, and my brother and his friends had a hangover adventure. Then the town got attacked by Paraprites, which were killed what Neon calls Predators, which they also took over the town, but then they were killed, because Knight and Neon went to Planet Random.
So, no pony remembers it, but Neon did destroy the universe and re-made it. Then there was a war between the Everfree forest animals and the town on Winter Wrap up day, and a pony from the town saved Princess Twilight Sparkle and defeated a giant pony.”
Then Diamond said, “Like I said, a lame town that no one will even notice its existence.”
What a bitch, may I add? Well, then Shadowed said, “Really, because I thought that was interesting. Then again, I guess Ponyville just has different tastes then what we’re used to then.”
Then Diamond said once more, “Like I said, Lameville. You two will never be cool like us, and you will always will be a blank flank, no matter what you do.”
Then Misty Midnight busted through the door, to which she said, “Hey, you two leave them alone.”
Then Silver Spoon looked at her, and she said, “I see we have another blank flank, and an orphan as well. Let me guess where you live, in a cardboard box?”
Then Misty was actually weak, in fact, she was afraid of them just a tiny bit, but she needed to pretend that she could stand up to them in a way. Well, she shrugged off the feeling of fear, went up to them, and said, “The only reason why you two are bullying them is because you have cutie marks and not them. You need someone to make fun of that does not have what you have, so you feed off that, instead of just being happy that you have a cutie mark.
'A day will come when your kind will parish from this world, and when that happens, you will be sorry that you had said any of this in your past. You will beg for forgiveness, but you know it in your heart that the light will not forgive those who were blinded by the darkness that occupies their soul and were aware of it, and tried nothing to resist and you pursue its path to darkness.
'So then you will try to fight back, but you know it is very true that the light cannot be extinguish, for you have walked between worlds of heaven and earth, and you only know that the only path is the road of forgotten dreams and of memories past.
'You will ride the path of loneliness, not knowing what you have done, but only because you needed someone to feed off, so you can feel power. But then you would have learned a lesson, that all great ponies will one day fall into oblivion, and will be forgotten by time and its forever glory to withstand anything that it comes in its path of ticking down to the final seconds of life.
'And when the final tick has been made, all life, will be truly forgotten, for it would have never existed at all, but all that of it remains is the light, for the light can never die out, and will forever withstand, without the support of time on its side. So do what you want to do, both of you, but know that one day, you will fall, and wonder what went wrong with your life, look upon your past, and think of what you have done.
'Then, you will realize that being alive, as a pony, living, breathing, walking, and talking, is a curse. A curse of life, that cannot be undone, not even by god herself can undo the curse of life. For life is a torture, for we feel and die, and feel pain, and we wonder, why?
'So, when the day comes when you two fall, be prepared for the worst to come to you both.”
I am so shocked that the speech that Misty Midnight had made was…weird.
Then at the same time, it sounds cool, because it sounds like a philosophy, even though it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. However, it still sounds cool and it makes you feel like you are smart.
Anyways, after Misty finished what she was saying, everypony stood silent within the room. Even the Cakes were stunned by what Misty had said, for it was not normal for a normal filly to say such a thing. Fuck it man, not even Twilight could come up with that kind of brilliance right there.
I mean, what she said right there was like…legit, and possibly, I’m high because I just said the word legit. Anyways, after the room went silent for a bit, a pony started to clap with his hooves together.
Then another pony started to do the same thing, along a few more, to which it then became a chain reaction where everypony was applauding Misty for her speech.
Then I swear to you that an orchestra was playing in the background, while a black guy pony, also known as the native zebrea, walked up to her and said, “You know what kid…you have guts. You did what no pony could in this time of need, and you did it. At first you had me worried that you couldn’t believe in yourself to do such a thing, but I am proud of you. Because on this day, a day that will forever live long within our hearts, that you, Misty Midnight, have made a speech so powerful that no one can remember it. You are a rare type of pony to come by, because most ponies will not go by a day in their life where they don’t stop and think why they have wasted such great opportunities that had went and gone by in their lives. You, area one of a kind, and you deserve it.”
Then Misty said to the black guy pony, “Who are you? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I mean, have we met before? What is going on here? I’m starting to get scared.”
Then the black guy pony said, “Don’t be scared kid, I’m right here. Besides, there is nothing to fear while you have good on your side. However, if you’re still afraid, it’ll be ok….I’ll keep you nice and safe from harm’s way.”
Then the black guy pony slowly moved his hooves to Misty’s, grabbed it, and out her hooves on his black guy pony dick. When he did so, Misty noticed, by had a confused look on her face, for she had not come across this type of situation before in her life.
Then Chris Hanson, if he was a pony and two old timey prison guards were right behind him. Chris said, “Hello black guy…why don’t you take a seat…right over there. Come on…let’s talk…and break the fourth wall.”
Then the two old timey prison guards said,
“Hey, get away from that little girl you black son of a bitch! You’re going back to the Green Mile and you’re going to stay there until you die boy!”
Then the black guy pony said, “Well, it was nice meeting you kid, by I’ve got to run. Perhaps I can rape you later in your sleep, then another black guy pony like me will make an auto tune song about hiding your wives and kids because a rapist is in town.”
Then the black guy pony jumped from the window, along with the two old timey prison guards.
However, Chris Hanson was still there, and he said, “Well, I need to make someone feel bad and commit suicide. Diamond Terri and Silver Spoon. You seem to like to bully kids who do not have a cutie mark on their ass. Why don’t you take a seat, right over there? Come on…don’t be shy, I promise this will go up on Dateline in the newspaper, while News Press writes down our interview.”
Then News Press was right here and he said to the two little bitchs, in a really fast talkative voice that sounds like it belongs in the 1920’s, “Come on kids, let’s do an interview. Come on, I’ll promise you this will make you a celebrity, and I will take you beyond the stars. Come on, you’ll go to a place where nopony has gone before, and you’ll be famous. That and I can guarantee you some cocaine while I’m at it and a bit of weed to calm the down the edge just a bit.”
Then Diamond said, “That is cocaine?”
Then Silver Spoon said, “It’s possibly something that lame ponies do when they don’t have a cutie mark.”
Then News Press said after he did a blow of crack, with wide pupils in his eyes, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! That was a fresh wakeup call kids. I will tell you that was the best energy I had in weeks. But it appears that I’m out of cocaine. Know what, I’m going to kidnap you two kids and sell you for crack.”
Then News Press took Diamond and Silver to sell them for crack, while they were kicking and begging to be let go, while Chris said, “Wait! I just want to talk to you News Press about your addiction! Come on, why don’t you have a seat right over here!?!”
Then they left for the day. When they left, everypony just went back to their usual party and pretended as if it never happened. Dam, Ponyville is quite a smart town to live, I must admit.
I mean, that’s what I do when Neon does shit, except no one notices. Anyways, then Shadow walked up to Misty and he said, “Thanks for trying to stand up for us…um…”
Then she said, “Misty…Misty Midnight is the name.”
Shadow then looked at her with…ok eyes…but then said, “Well then, why did you exactly come here anyways?”
Then Misty said, “Well, I was actually looking for you.”
Then Shadow asked, “Why were you looking for me? No one ever looks for me, not even if I get lost in the Everfree Forest, not even my big brother Mac would go look for me. Instead, he will just tell me to go fuck myself and fight a bear because he’s usually is drunk most of the time. Mostly at night because of Applejack.”
Then Misty said, “Well, I’ve been watching you Shadow…from afar. I’ve been wanting to come up to you and hang out with you and be friends, but I was…too nervous to do so. I’m sorry if I bothered you and I’ll be fine if you say no.”
Then Shadow said, “Well, sure, we can be friends. I don’t mind that at all. I mean, you could have walked up to me anytime if you wanted to. Didn’t your parents tell you how to not be shy or something?”
Misty then stared blankly at Shadow for a moment or two, and then she said, “Well, you see, I never knew my parents. I have always been alone, although I think I have a brother or sister, but I’m not sure.
'Every time I look at the night sky, I always have a weird feeling inside me, as if my parents are watching me, protecting me. I’m not sure of it myself, but I believe my father is watching me the most, as if he was my guarding angle.
' I sometimes have dreams at night, or at least I think it is a dream, that I am atop a hill, that also appear to be some sort of cliff as well, looking down upon the little sleepy town of Stalia and Ponyville. I also look upon the town and look across to see Cantorlot.
'Every time I do so, I feel like there is something important, as if there was a connection that cannot be made by any normal pony. Then, as I am looking towards the north, I feel my father’s presence behind me.
'I recall that he would have a cloak on, as if he was hiding something from me. And when I go to turn around to see him, I can only see his moving mouth, for I cannot see his eyes.
'Sometimes I wonder, even if it is a dream, that even he doesn’t know what I look like. He then tells me to sit down and relax. I do what I am told to do, although I feel weird about, for I was never told to do anything for I never had any parents. After I sit down, my father tells me something…something important.
'He tells me…almost every night, that there will be a day, when one will rise, and will be a hero, but at the same time, he will be our end. One day, the fire will rise, it will save us all, it will also kill us all, and he says that there will be nothing to stop it from coming.
'My father also told me, that even when we get to heaven, we will still not be safe from the threat, for he will have died as well, and have his soul also reach heaven’s gates…upon the clouds that all hope to one day go after their soul passes. He also said to me, that the one, who will bring this, will also say he would be sorry, and wishes for nothing like what he has caused to ever have happened. He will even say it was a curse.
'He even said that he will also fix the problem, but he never told me with what. After he tells me that, he tells me that I have a reason why I am still alive, and why he isn’t.
'He tells me the day will come when I will know, even if I am unaware of it. Then, to end it, he taught me a song and we play it every night together, as I enjoy most of it, because I feel safe with my father.
'We call it, “Will the bad luck ever be finished.”
'I’m not sure what it means, but I enjoy singing it. My father says that I have a beautiful singing voice as well. I do sometimes wish he was still alive, so we could…be a family once more.
'But he says it wouldn’t matter if he was still alive, because as he said to me every night, that we will all fall…we will all fall in paradise…and there’s nothing we can do to stop the prophecy from happening.
'He even said to me that he has seen it happened, that a unicorn, of a blue coat color…and a hat black as night…will be our demise. He says that, heaven will become a battleground, for those who seek revenge and power.
'He says that heaven’s sky will no longer be bright and heavenly as it always is every day, but of an evil red sky, as if dawn has just appeared before our eyes. He even says that god…herself…will even be lost.
'Even the one that has caused all of it, would be hiding…in a dark place…looking upon a small ball of light…that can save heaven and everypony else from death…but he sits there…looking upon it with fear…as he forever is cursed unless everything is fixed to what is meant to be.
'That is what my father says, that what he says what the future holds, and we cannot do a single thing about it. He says there is much more, but he rather protects me from the horrors he has seen.
'As for my mother, I never saw her, face to face. However, my father has always told me, that she was the most beautiful mare he has ever laid upon with his own eyes.
' I believe his words that he says, and he also says that my mother loved me very much, but was sadden that she never even got to see me even after she gave birth to me.
'My father says her spirit lies in heaven, along with the other good souls who have done nothing wrong. He too was also meant to be up there with her, but he refused to go, and escaped the judgment room, for he had unfinished business to attend to.
'However, he promised my mother that he would look after my siblings and me. He says that one day I will meet them, when the time is right, but for now, all I do is wait.
'And to be honest with you, waiting, is the most painful thing that a living thing could endure, for if we wait, we wait for the good and bad to come, but really, we’re waiting for whatever comes our way.
'My father told me this one night, and said even god knows this is true, because even she has been waiting, for the one that did not come, and she still waits in the room. He never told me specifically, however, he says that in time, I will know the truth, and with patients, the one that did not come, will know soon enough as well.
'Although, he did say to me, that every night, she stands in a room, that was prepared for his coming, under the moon light, and cry, for he did not come. She still waits, and sometimes believes that he will come one day, while other times, she believes she does not want to lie to herself, for he will never come.
'She even believes that the universe did this to her, as a sign, to stop. However, other than that, my father never told me anything else, except god is waiting, and it brings her pain to her heart, as she waits for the one that did not come.
'Waiting is a terrible thing, for our souls…will never experience true happiness. It will even sometimes be alone, as like a wolf…a lone wolf…as if it feels like it is forgotten. My father also had said to me this, and he knows it when he once breathed life in days past.
'He told me a story, right before that I went to bed one night, that he met a pony. He said he was the nicest stallion anyone could meet, or have as a friend.
'However, he told me that he committed suicide one night, for he realized that no one truly cares about him. He told me that the stallion wanted to be an author, and write stories for a living.
'In fact, there was a service, where he could write a story, and put it on a shelve, to which publishing companies would come along and choose those stories that they saw a profit they could make off of the book.
'Some were serious, while others only did so for fun. However, in between publishing companies looking through stories made by other pones, some ponies could read others, and even help one another out.
'Well, the stallion I was told of, one day had eleven stories written, and awaited for somepony to come by and look at his hard work. He soon learned that no one, too little like his work. Especially a book that he held dear to his fragile and saddened heart of tears and forgotten and broken dreams.
' It was a book that he had his heart set on writing, which was to be the longest book that anypony has ever seen before their eyes. He had planned it, for months that it would have the correct balance of comedy and adventure in it, and it would not be drawn out.
'In fact, my father told me that it was supposed to be different, instead of the usual stories we read every day in our lives, and would not rely on big descriptive words, for he saw that as a problem, for it should be simple and not complex.
'He had also written it in first person, and made the character act how he would act if he was in real life, and write his story out on his own personality.
'He wrote like that, instead of just being as if it might have been written in third person. He even pushed the limits of comedy and showed no fear in it. He even made the characters likeable and funny, and not too obvious.
'He even thought that he got the idea one day, and thought it was a blessing from god herself. However, than when others read it, they criticized it. Only but one stood and saw what he was doing.
'He tried and tried to explain, but nothing could get through their thick skulls of “stupidity” and blinded souls. He tried, but he was kept being put down. He could not make them understand what he was trying to do.
'Others did not even give it a chance, and simply said change everything. However, he did not listen to them, for he had worked hard, and did not want to change a single thing to it.
' Perhaps to add a bit more things or change a few lines of dialogue, but nothing to make a sweeping change. Others say it was too long for a book and should be shorten, for they did not see what his plans were.
'Others said he was mad, and did not make any sense. My father told me he read it, and he said it was brilliant, but was sadden due to the fact that he and the few only saw what it was meant to be than the standard book.
'My father even told me that the book had even a bit of mystery to it, as in a mystery that the reader would have to form their own theories, based on what clues they were given throughout the story. Then, when the moment was right, it would have been revealed, with great patient of course.
'Others, would not tell the answer, and let the reader believe what they want to believe. My father even told me of an ending that he had to make up his own decision, that it was mind boggling to think of happening in the story.
'However, he kept pushing through the fire and flames, but one day…he could not take it anymore. He told me, that he questioned, if what god gave him was a gift, or a curse.
' It had brought nothing but hatred to him and the story and made him feel jealousy towards those who do succeed, but was afraid to admit it, but had made him happy and a friend.
'He kept going back and forth, and it was a war to him. His brain told him it was a curse, while his heart said it was a gift.
'Soon, he could not take it any longer. So, on a moonless night, under the stars, he took a pill, that would make him sleep for all of eternity, so he would no longer have to live with the pain.
'My father told me that on the day of his funeral, that no one attended but the one friend he had made, and himself. Not even his family came to see him in his coffin, nor the ponies he was nice to everyday and put a smile on their faces. Not even the ponies that hated his story.
'Instead, those who disliked his workand simply spat on his grave. They even danced on it with joy that he was dead, and said he deserved it, for writing a mockery. They even vandalized his tomb, so his soul will never truly be in peace in heaven. Others…however…did not even care or noticed that he was dead. In fact, others encouraged him to just commit suicide, so he could leave them be and do everypony a favor, even though they knew of any of the guards of Equestria were to find out about what they said, they would pay the price for it, for it was against Equestrian law to do so.
'My father told me he was saddened by it, and saw nothing good out of those were blinded by greed and ignorance. Sometimes, he tells me that he is glad that he is dead, for he does not have to suffer like he is abandoned, like the story he told me of one night before I went to bed.
'He even told me it is a lesson to learn from, but a lesson that will never be learned, for no one will listen to reason. As for anything else that you might want to know, I do not sleep in the orphanage.
'Not one bit, but I sleep under a bridge, in a cardboard box at night. I am told that there is simply no more room for me to sleep at night, but enough room during Celestia’s morning to come and eat a little something, so I won’t starve to death and be left to be eaten by the hungry rats for dinner early in the morning.
'However, as I said, I have been watching you from afar, and I’ve always wanted a friend to be with and hang out, for I am mostly lonely, other than my father at night.”
What the Fuck?....I don’t even understand why she even said that, but ok then, whatever makes the crazy little bitch be happy.
Anyways, Shadow and White then stared at Misty for a good long minute, until White said, “Nice story bro…”
Then Shadow and White decided to shrug it off, as if they didn’t hear what she had to say, which made Misty a bit sad, but happy to know that she at least has some friends that she can hang out with.
Then, Shadow said, “Well, we better get on our way back to Stalia before it gets dark.”
Then the gang was on their way out, until Applejack stopped them and she said, “Whoa, where do you think you’re going Shadow. You almost left without saying hi to your cousin Applebloom.”
Then, Applebloom emerged, and yes, I said another fancy word. My god, you all must be panicking right now, hiding your wife and kids and your apocalypse basement, because I said a fancy word that you all expected out of me to say.
I hope I didn’t make anyone faint and crash their car or something, because it was just a fucking word. Anyways, Applebloom then emerged behind of her big sister Applejack, along with her friends, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo, or however you decide to spell that whore’s name.
Listen, I’m pretty sure that’s all what we’re thinking right now, that she is a whore, but no one had the exact balls to say it. Well…I said it, and now the deed is done. And yes, I said the word deed, so I’m guessing World War three has started already because of it.
Then again, maybe that’s just me thinking that whore is a whore. Whatever, she’s a whore for not odd reason at all.
Anyways, after the CMC came out, Applebloom said, “Well it’s nice to meet you cousin! How have you been?”
Then Shadow said, “Well…I’m doing fine. Me and my friends have to go, before it gets dark.”
Then Applebloom took a look at Shadow friend’s, White and Misty, when he said the word friend. Then Applebloom noticed that none of them has their cutie marks.
When she saw that, she gasped in surprised, and almost a million things went rushing through her head at once. Then, she said, “Could you excuse me for a moment real quick.”
Then her and her friends huddled up and she whispered to them, “Guess what, I noticed that none of them have their cutie marks.”
Then Sweetiebelle asked, “So, what does that mean?”
Then Scootaloo or whore said, “It means that we have more members for our organization. This is perfect! Should we tell them now or later?”
Then Applebloom said, “Now.”
Then they broke the circle apart and Applebloom turned her attention to Shadow. She said to him, “Would you like you and your friends want to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
Then White asked, “The cutie what fuck?”
Then shadow just stared at him and he said, “Well, I did learn the word from my big brother Mac.”
Of course he would learn from him, then again, at this point, in time, I obviously did not care. Hold on for one moment before I continue.
Now, I have said that I do not care at times, while I also say that they are also cool to hang out with sometimes. Well, I should mention, that was a lie...well, sort of but not really. It only rings true when after a certain moment happened
Let me explain before anyone gets confused and starts a riot and starts a war in the country of Chad. I'm pretty sure those guys down there care about this stuff. You see, when Twilight was sent to Ponyville, she was sent there because she might have been a good student and studied well, but in Celestia’s eyes, she saw that Twilight only had one thing incomplete, and that was friendship.
Hold on, if I’m going to explain this, I want to have the correct music to go along with this.
Anyways, she was then sent there to learn about the magic of friendship, and study it have life lessons and morals learned and taught to her. In fact, she was moved up to the next level to her studies, and we all know the unfortunate event that came out to be, which is becoming an Alicorn.
The one true horror of them all, yes, I know. I am scared as well, but it’s ok, you’re safe here with me and the story.
Ok, maybe not so much, but you get the general idea of the joke. Anyways, Twilight was to learn about friendship. Well, the same thing happened to me, because Celestia saw in her eyes that I needed friends, instead of a fucking talking, trolling, sex addict, more like family member, Timber wolf.
Well, I have two words for her, “Screw Friendship.” At least at first
You see, in my eyes at the time, it didn't matter if you have friendship or not. Sometimes, if you’re good enough, you’re good without it, depending on who you’re are.
However, if it is a teamwork thing, then all you need to do is get the job done, move on with life, and not make friends.
Besides, I didn’t even wanted this to happen to me. I’m just doing it, because the universe is making me do such a thing. I mean, at the time, I was right. I had lost a lot of time, lost a friend, and was forced into this situation that I couldn't control and my only option being that I had to roll along with it.
At times, they were all together, like family, and we worked together and hanged out together. However, at times, I recall that at times, when it was just me and one of them, they say 'Screw the other guys. We don’t need them. It’s just you and me, against the world.' At least...that's what it felt like to me in my mind.
While at other times, it felt like we couldn't get along and weren't friends.
However, at times, I would usually hear this from Arrell as well, “Listen, guys, we’re all friends. We need to work together, to make this right. No matter what happened, we’re always friends, we’re like family. We look out for one another. And that’s the only thing that matters…that we’re friends.”
It's a weird relationship to say the least, and at the time I just didn't get it.
Even though I’m only here to do what the Universe wants me to do, doesn’t mean I’m going to stick around when it’s over. I mean, at the time, I just wanted to get it over with, so I can go back what I was trying to do in the first place, with TK and Factory Dash.
But as time went on, I learned to love the guys, it just took me a while. Just not in a gay way was all. In a way, they grow on you the more you spend with them. And the best part of it all, while at times it felt like we were apart, they also felt like you could rely on them, loyal as a group, yet broken like a nut...what?
So really, we’re almost the complete opposite of The Elements of Harmony. I mean, it makes sense. We’re male, while they’re female. However, for one thing, we’re a bit more adult relatable type of style, we curse, we steal sometimes. We even drink beer and try to have a good time sometimes. Fuck it man, we don’t even try to learn anything about friendship at all, but instead just go on crazy and sometimes random adventures, that involves killing as well as other dangers that the Elements of Harmony could never stand up to..
Hell, one time we tried to rob a bank once and...well...that's a story for another time I suppose. But the point is, while the Elements of harmony cherish friendship and love and harmony and all that hippy dippy crap, we were the opposite and we did what we felt like was wrong. But intentional, maybe not intentional, but really we were on our own paths as a group and did what we did, sometimes without questioning it at all.
In fact, I feel like if it was a pun or something, and I never laugh at puns. I feel like laughing a little bit right now whenever I think about it. It doesn't make sense, yet the less I think about it, the more it feels like one big, joke, that was meant for a few ones off and then thrown to the wolves. ha ha ha...HA HA HA...oh I'm going insane the more I try to make sense of it all, so I should stop...but still...
It's just that I never saw that at the time and it irked me so to be with the them all. But that was at the time. Nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes we hanged out, sometimes we didn’t, yet the more we spent time together, the closer we felt together. Just not in a gay way, but in a homie of the hood kind of way.
I’m even willing to bet that my friends wouldn't be willing to betray me, and too be quite honest with you, I would do the same thing myself and be by their sides together as one, fight side by side, us against the world. But that's what I felt anyways. In reality's sake, I'm not sure how it looked like, even when looking back on it. And while at time we may have been assholes to one another, we were still a team, a group of friends with different outlooks and feelings, yet together in harmony, ready to face whatever was thrown at us. But that took sometime for me to comprehend at what I had...
Well that's enough rambling for one day I suppose. I'm not a rambling man after all...wink...
Anyways, once that lie is cleared up and out of the way, we can continue with the story here. That was fast... Anyways, as I was saying before, Applebloom explained, “Well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders is an organization that we all started, to help others to get their cutie mark and never stop trying. So…would you like to join our group. We can’t get you in the group right away, but maybe you could be the Cutie Mark Crusaders of stalia.”
Then Scootaloo popped out or whore that is said, “Yea, you could even help spread the word around the town and expand. So…what do you say!”
Then Shadow said, “Yeah, that sounds like an awesome idea! We could help out and we can all try to get our cutie marks! Besides, we don’t mind helping out.”
Then Applebloom said, “That’s terrific! Well, I’ve got to go now, but we can talk about it more later. Well, bye cousin.”
Then Applebloom and her friends went off into the sunset, doing the shit that they were doing…whatever it was. I feel like an Indiana Jones moment should be there for some odd reason. Anyways, the CMC of Stalia, or in other words, CMCS went off to get back home before it got dark.
Although they kind of got lost in the Everfree Forest in the dark, but some nice friendly Timber wolves, the same Timber wolves that raped Zecroa that one time if you recall, helped them out. What nice rapists they are, you know that?
Anyways, they then went into Shadow’s home, and went to the living room while Shadow’s dad was still not alive…I think he was alive or not.
Well, they then sat down and started to discuss what had happened that day, and I even recall Misty even having a slightest smile on her face, because for once, she had friends.
However, it did not mean that she could escape the fact that she is still an orphan for life at this point in time. And of course, that’s when Mac came in and asked what the fuck was going on.
However, Mac then said, “Well, I guess it’s ok, but you two little shits get the fuck out. It’s time for me to throw empty bottles at Shadow’s head.”
White and Misty then got out, and went on their back home. White of course broke into Jack’s house, so at least he had somewhere to sleep for the night.
As for Misty however, he was approached by Neon. Well, moments, later, I’m on my couch, smoking some shitty ass weed that I made myself. Well, I heard a knock on my door, which I said, “Hold the fuck up, I’m fucking coming!”
I then mumbled to myself, “Jesus fucking Christ.”
I said it because I was really tired and annoyed from the quick little adventure I just had with Mac not too long ago, so you could tell I was not in the mood to talk at the time.
Well, I opened up the door, and Neon pounced on me and he said, “Hey Knight! Do you want to go and hang out with Craig McCracken tonight!?”
Then I said, “Neon, Fuck…no.”
Then Neon said, “Well, how about inviting Misty Midnight to come in for a bit.”
I then saw who neon was talking about, as she was standing in the middle of my doorway. I then pushed Neon aside and said, “Well, I suppose I can keep the swearing down just a bit and not smoke weed for a while. Come in, I suppose, just don’t mess with anything, ok?”
Then Misty shook her head, and she made herself a nice comfortable spot on my couch. And it was also my favorite spot on the couch, so to me, she was a little bitch at the time to me. Well, I then asked Neon, “Why the fuck did you bring her over? Are you trying to screw around with my head again?”
Then Neon said, “Nope, but I did fuck around with your stomach, so you should be throwing up a giant squid any moment now.”
I then said, “What the fuck are you even talking ab…”
I then opened my mouth…and a giant ass squid came out of my mouth. After somehow he got out of my mouth, he said, “Well then…this is embarrassing. I was supposed to me my friend Ron here. Have you seen him around lately? He supposed to have eaten Johanna or something.”
Then that dead whale I mentioned came through my door way and he said, “Oh hey Phil, how’s it going?”
Then the giant squid, or apparently Phil, said, “Nothing much, you want to go back in the ocean?”
Then Ron said, “Fuck…yes. I mean, no offense here Knight, but this place isn’t really a place for a sea creature to live…you know? It really should be more aquatic creature friendly. I suggest putting lots of water and a shitload of fish. Maybe even put in some plant life here and there and some light would do some good. Fuck it, I think you really need to put a great white shark in here as well, you know, to brighten up the place. And of course some females, so we can rape them of course, as all male whale and giant squids rape females. Well, other than that, you have a good one then.”
They then left by jumping through a portal and went back home. I then decided to pretend that didn’t happened, even though it did, and let Neon continue to talk.
He said, “Anyways, I thought maybe you wanted to talk a little bit with Misty.”
I then said, “Fine, might as well then since she’s here.”
I then went into the living room, along with Neon, and found that Misty already started a fire in the fire place, and sat around it to keep warm. I then said, “I have a fire place? How come I don’t know these nice things that I have in my house?”
I then shrugged it off and decided to sit by Misty, while Neon sat on the opposite side of me as well. I then stared at the fire for a bit, and asked Misty, “So, could I ask how do you know to start a fire?”
Then Misty didn’t look at me when she answered me, so she was a rude bitch for doing so, and she said, “Well…I know how to so I can survive. I am an orphan and I usually make a fire every night to keep warm while I’m sleeping either on or inside a card board box, that is under a bridge at night. Sometimes I get to eat a nice warm meal down at the orphanage, but they don’t have enough beds for me to sleep in at night.”
I then stared at her, thinking how depressed this was right now. I mean, she was alone and it’s like if she was always sad. Then again I wasn’t going to adopt her. Sure I felt bad, but let me say it again.
I am not the best role model for children, nor can I barley raise a child or a pet. So there is no way she can be adopted and be my adopted daughter. Besides, it would be kind of awkward, since she is a Pegasus, and I’m a unicorn, so I couldn’t teach her how to fly or anything.
Unless of course I had a wife that was a Pegasus, or knew someone that would give a fuck about her, then sure, maybe, but right now, nope. So, I decided to change the subject and said, “Hey, why don’t we sing a little song?”
Well, it was better than to talk about the depressing shit. Misty said sure and she said she knew a song. Well, Neon also gave her his guitar to play, and strangely enough, she knew how to play one. She than started to play, and she played a song that she called, “Will the bad luck ever finish.” The lyrics went more like this…
There are those who live in the glory, Who are have luck that are often miss. When you look upon your own story, You hope that you join them in their bliss. Will the bad luck ever finish, By and by, by and by? He will have one last chance, In the sky, In the sky. In the joyous days of childhood, Oft held the hopes of a bright future. But only he shall rise to the heavens, To make all who live in peace suffer. Will the bad luck ever finish, By and by, by and by? He will have one last chance, In the sky, In the sky. He remembers, the days of his youth, Which he held dear, to his heart. Can you let go, of those memories, Or is this what you want? Will the bad luck ever finish, By and by, by and by? He will have one last chance, In the sky, In the sky. Can you picture your luck, As in a path of a mountain. And as you hope for greatness, The path, goes dwindling down. Will the bad luck ever finish, By and by, by and by? He will have one last chance, In the sky, In the sky. One by one, they all died, One by one, in the heavens. The only chance of survival, Is for him to hold the ball of light . Will the bad luck ever finish, By and by, by and by? He will have one last chance, In the sky, In the sky.
I was so surprised that she was able to play the acoustic song to Bioshock Infinite’s song, Will the circle ever be unbroken. I was so surprised by that, but then again, maybe it is different to them and Neon didn’t have to do with any of the song’s melody.
Anyways, I have to admit, I feel weird about the song. I couldn’t exactly put my hoof on it, and I still can’t, why this song feels weird to me. I mean, I got Goosebumps, and it is if like it was telling of the future or something.
In fact, I also got a strange creepy thing from Neon while she was playing the song and singing her voice lie an angel. While she was in the middle of the song, I looked over to Neon, and he smiled at me.
However, when I looked at him, he had a bit of an evil grin on his face, as he was looking back at me. He even waved a bit to me, and I thought I heard this noise in my ears, that only I could hear.
I wasn’t sure why I felt what I felt, but whatever it was, I hope it didn’t lead into any trouble. Anyways, I then shrugged that weird feeling off me, and I said, “Well then, can I say, that you have a voice of an angel.”
Then Misty Midnight said to me, “Thanks. Listen…I have to get going. I feel like going to sleep early tonight.”
She then gave the musical instrument back to Neon and she was on her way to home, or at least that what I was told. In all honesty, here, she went to the mountain like cliff like hill area, to meet with her father.
Her father was looking upon down the small towns of Stalia and Ponyville, with despair in his eyes. He then looked across towards Cantorlot Castle, and he said to himself, “That’s where the greats live at, while one of them lives in the small town. One of them should live at Cantorlot, and perhaps then, the prophecy will cease to exist.”
Then her father turned around to turn his attention towards his daughter, Misty Midnight, who was hearing what he was saying. Misty asked, “But…you said that we couldn’t do anything about the prophecy?”
Then her father said, “Yes, and we cannot. We are forced to live with the choices that are made by the one who will save us all, but will be our end in the heavens. However, that does not mean if one’s mind is changed, we can still prevent it.
However, it is all up to the one who can save us all, but will be our end one day. Where were you my child?”
Then Misty said, “I was at Knight’s house, Neon invited me over.”
Then her father eyed her as if it was a surprise to him. He then said to her, “Well than, tell me where Neon and Knight are at. I must speak to them, for they are important right now for the two us.”
Then Misty said, “They both live in the town of Stalia. One of them lives at The Party Store, while the other one lives in the town’s library.”
Then her Father said, “I will speak to them as soon as possible. However, for now, it is time my child. It is time for me to put you to bed little one. Come, I will make sure you’re safe at your home.”
Then her father walked his child to the bridge, where he proceeded to say good night to his little daughter who was still too young supposedly. While this was happening, way back after Misty left my house, I said to Neon, “Alright then, get out Neon. I want to smoke some more of my shitty ass weed.”
Then Neon said, “Jinx!”
Then he opened up a portal and he pushed me into it which I was back on Earth…again…to see Craig once more. While he did that, I said, “Neon, what the fuck!”
Anyways, I better stop it at here for now. Celestia’s sun is almost about to rise, and I’ve got to get this phoenix back to its owner before anypony notices it.
Next Time: Knight: Well, I’m spending more time with my friends and getting to know Mickey Mouse a bit more. But we also do get into trouble, along with my friends also getting to know the Mane 6, which should be an interesting mix. What am I talking about, bad shit is going to go down, but yet my interest has been peaked. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 22: A Day with the Elements
So then, it is once again to speak about my once and awesome life that is better than yours by a mile or a long shot or whatever. It’s better and that’s all you need to know.
Fuck it, I’m even willing to bet it’s better than the most interesting man in the world. Hopefully he doesn’t find me and tries to kick my ass for saying that. I mean, it is a fact that when a white guy is drunk off his ass, he fights better.
However, if a black guy is drunk off his ass, then you better run then, for the apocalypse has been released and let’s just say it would take a few thousand years before civilization can start to rebuild after the destruction of the drunk off his ass black guy has caused. It will be a war if had happened and very depressing. And yet somehow, Detroit will still remain the same and untouched. Mostly because of the blacks or something. And Detorit Piza will still suck, New York style is better, fight me on it bitch. You would even wish it was just a nightmare and wake up next to your girlfriend that you’re cheating on with your wife.
You know, because eventually everyone cheats on their wives and husbands. I mean, I’m pretty sure. Well, as you can tell, I am on my flying phoenix again, although I almost got caught by Celestia and Luna. You see, when they’re on their period, you don’t want to piss them off.
I mean, I almost got caught, and my heart is still pounding against my chest right now for almost getting caught. And yes Cow Tippers, I have used another word of intelligence. My god, World War five has started. I bet three million people just died the last second for using that word that all of you use, and possibly by a white guy. By the way, Morgan Freeman told me to say that because he wasn’t going to continue to narrate my shit if I didn’t, so yea. I don't pay him or anything. I'm not even sure how he even writes anything down. I just kind of black out, yet I look back and he's there writing stuff. I think I hear him in my head. I also hear a generic white guy is in it too. Btu again, I just black out and... see a lot of black. Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing... and it somehow won't tie into the canon of my life with some weird time traveling thing and it won't catch me off guard. I eman all I've been desrcibing thus far as already happened, there's nothing to worry about.
Anyways, what happened with Celesita and Luna was… well shit… shit… as always. I'm not sure if I should talk about it. It really isn't any of your guy's business. yet I feel like I should write it down here for the sake of getting it off of my chest. Yo can skip this part if you want I guess. But uhh... let me go over what happened not too long ago before I pick up from where we left off last time, ok? I mean I don't have this journal for nothing you know?
Well for starters, you really should know that I say the word shit a lot. I mean, I’m pretty alcoholic, but instead of being addicted to beer, I’m addicted to saying the word shit. I’m not sure if I’m joking right now or not, but I think I’m surprisingly not joking.
So, I think I just have a condition where I end up just saying the word shit a lot, so, who knows, maybe that’s just another thing to add to the list of weaknesses that I have. Anyways, what happened with Celestia and Luna was shit, but let’s go into a bit more detail then just shit.
Well, after I finished up the last bit, as I was saying before, I had to return the phoenix that I had stole from some guy. Yes people, in Equestria, which maybe by now you should have known this, but whatever, it’s ok if you’re a retard. It just means I can go to your home anytime I want and steal your shit without you or your dead dog that starved to death because you forgot to feed it, even though it was showing you the food, right on your carpet you paid for.
The nice carpet that you paid for by dirty, illegal Mexicans that possibly raped and and did some questionable things to children that you possibly let happened because you’re a fucking retard. Anyways, besides that, there is phoenixes in Equestria, although they are a bit rare to come by nowadays.
It isn’t because ponies were hunting them and they turned out to be an endangered species and all that good shit that you people know of, but they just decided to become rare. It sounds weird, but trust me, me and my shit is fucked up weird, but yet, no one gives a damn.
Anyways, before I started off the last bit from last night, I basically escaped from Cantorlot castle once more. I also did it very silently, and took out a few guards, although I made sure they were only knocked out for a few minutes, because if not, then Celestia and Luna would know of me escaping the damn castle at night.
I’m telling you people, Celestia and Luna are starting to get smarter than me, and I don’t like it one bit. Something just feels off about it. I mean, a male shouldn’t be beaten by a female. Did that joke work for you? If not, then damn it, I need to work on those sexists joke then. Anyways, truth is that I do seriously feel like it’s off about something, and here’s the real reason.
You see, I’m over fifty thousand years old or right now currently, over hundred thousand years. You rememeber that part, right? And I cannot begin to describe how turning one hundred thousand years old feels. Trust me, it’s a bitch, but it’s a story for another time, just like everything else. I mean, you might wonder what the fuck happened to me when I was a student at Celestia’s school and all, and even though I said jack shit about it, I’ll eventually getting around to it, but let’s be honest here.
What are you really here for, the shit I did that was very bad and possibly will make Celestia and Luna kill me for what I’ve done at the school, or my life story that has the important parts in it that you might actually give a dam about. What do you think about that… huh?
Did I just blow your minds or what? Yea, maybe I blew your minds just a little bit right there, but whatever. Anyways, as I was saying before, I’m over a hundred thousand years old by this point as I am writing this to you right now. And I have done and seen shit that not even Celestia and Luna could take.
I mean, I’ve seen some fucked up shit in my day, and trust me, you do not want to see what is now have been scarred and marked in the very back of my mind that cannot be erased. I also have very high tech and far advanced technology than Equestria’s and Earth’s technology combined. Mostly in thanks to TK and the other universes. I have skills that no other man has, and a certain set of skills, that anyone would do just about anything just to be taught a lesson on it. Not really, that's a lie, but TK has those skills... he has a lot of skills. And it was all from my mind I think. Hmmm...
Anyways, I have created weapons of my own, mostly thanks to TK. I even made a basement with just nothing at all, although really that’s bullshit, because you can’t do something just out of nothing.
You just have to have something to start off with before you make something out of it. What did I make that secret basement out of you may ask? Well, I just used certain elements, to which I then combined them to make a certain element that would be suitable, and yes... that was another lie. My bad, that's isn't part of the canon anymore. Excuse me but I saw another universe and another Knight... me... did that. It was kind of weird, kind of got drunk, and got it all mixed with my memories. Sorry about that part.
Oh… my… fucking… god, I just realized something... you probably don't care. My god, you all must be going insane by now because you don't care, aren’t you all? Well maybe not all of you. But the uhhh.. Jews maybe are. They can't stand the numbers. Well, anyways, but I also know a lot of shit about science and I am really good at math and the numbers and shit.
I mean, I can count cards and get away with it. Not really, I did it once and then got thrown out the casino. But not before I took the chips with me. So I can kind of count the cards. I'm not a Jew so I can't do it all you know. But a I am a leader of an elite force that is even stronger then the Elements of Harmony itself... which is the Elements of Protection. and technically we're the B team in the eyes of the canon if we're going there.
I have been given tasks, and yes… another word. Behold its gloriousness and may it burn your soul to hell. It is your god now. Anyways, aside from your new god now, I have been given tasks that no other man can do without crying like a little bitch or pussy due to the difficulty of the task... even though Forrest already does that sometimes. Look we're just too good for y'all, and you can believe that too. That's the turth.
My god I am just slurring my words out words like someone who has to really go and take shit really badly, so when they get to the toilet, the shit comes out like a rapid gun that rapidly fires shit. These jokes are starting to wear aren’t they?
Anyways, consider all of that, but for some reason, two princesses that are Alicorns, that has not much experience that I have in the field, and might as well call it that because the CIA does so, so why not? Well, they are also very weak compared to my ability and vulnerable abilities, who has no idea in what level of science I partake in, and I’m not going to say it, it’s right there in the fucking blue, so go figure I guess with that one. Excuse me I drunk a little bit too much while at dinner this evening. It was wine... I've been told not to drink a lot of wine but it was my only source of alcohol.
Consider all of that, the two princesses can still kick my ass, and it seems really weak of me to let that happen. I’m like a big pussy or something when you think about it. And if you need a better explanation, well, let’s put it like this. A Renaissance man can beat a future man.
It basically means, going backwards is the way to go instead of going forwards, and Walt Disney even said something about that at one point in his life… that shit is just… I don’t know… fuck it. Anyways, as I was saying before, before I did last night’s little bit, I escaped with no problem at all. I did what I usually do. I go to my bedroom, to which I will wait till Celestia and Luna goes to bed.
However, Celestia does check up on me to see if I am asleep, and it does sound a bit childish, yes, but let’s just say she watches me like a hawk, and if you ever seen a hawk watch you, then you know the true horror you feel in your heart, as if one mistake that you make towards the hawk, especially it’s baby birds, then you’re fucked.
Well, I get in my bed and acted out that I was asleep or at least writing shit down of my life story, which she is totally fine with, as long as I don’t go out at night.
I mean, I can’t even go outside of the universe anymore, and yes, she does know about it, although as always, a story for another time. Let's just make that a surprise for later as to why. However, that time is not this time, but that time is another time which a future time, but not present time, but according to Vsauce, we’re always living in the past, so really, it’s past time, but that doesn’t make much sense, now does it?
Well, she knows and shit, and due to an event that caused her, Luna, and Fausticorn, which keep in mind, she is god of this universe, that I am forced to not longer go back to the outside of the universe, or off the grid as I like to call it. I’m only allowed off the grid if I am in need of such a request, but even that never happens, so, yeah, I’m stuck here. For now...
It sounds like heaven, but really it starts to get boring after a while, although I still have this feeling inside of me that is nice and kind and my heart somehow soars when I think about said feeling, but another thing for another time I suppose. Anyways, she watches me and forbids me to go off the grid, as I already stated before, so why the fuck am I saying it again?! Well, maybe there’s a lot of retards out there who are cow tippers... go figure… just like the United States government. They are all cow tippers in the CIA, you can trust me on that.
Anyways, after she notices me that I’m either asleep or simply writing my life story down, she closes the door very gently. However, she only does so, because what I used to do was right after she closes the door, I break the window and jump out. So she figures that if there’s no noise or some shit like that interferers with me breaking a window at night, she can catch me and shit. Well, she did once, but I learn from my mistakes. Well, Now I just wait a while, like a few hours or so before I can do shit. I mean, I’m not even allowed to go outside of Cantorlot.
I know it sounds even more of a childish thing and you must wonder, what the fuck did I do to deserve such a horrible punishment? Unless it was a clopping thing, then it would be paradise for me then, because I do favor the Royal sisters than any other pony. I mean, I’m no clopper, but if I did have to do someone, I prefer the royal sisters, including Cadence.
I just have a thing for Alicorns… ok? It's a fetish, we all have it, you know it, and I know it. Don't go judging, you probably have a foot fetish... or an ear fetish... or worse... a Tiny Husband fetish. Although, why I have a thing for Alicorns, I don’t know why, but I think it has something to do with me and my kinks, which once again, another thing for another time. I'll talk to you all later about the birds, the wasps, and the bees. Although, I wouldn’t want to really do the royal sisters… because of… I don’t want to say it. Let’s just say it would be very, very, very wrong of me to do such a disgusting thing to do to them… for unmentioned reasons of right now. Is it kink? Who knows.
I mean… I don’t want to say it because it’s just… even wrong for my level of wrong and shit man. Even if I did just Cadence, it would still be very wrong of me to do so. The only way I would do them is… well… how should I put this? Well, let’s just say a certain similar thing that they didn’t have, then I would do them. And no, it’s not AIDS.
Besides, that’s way too easy to make an AIDS joke. I mean, a baby would come up with that compared to what I’ve come up with AID jokes. The only good AIDS joke is a 9/11 one, cause it was AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS. And the best part is that you can quote that a some fat guy with diabetes who couldn't see his own penis said that somewhere.
Anyways, so, yea, I do have a thing for Alicorns, but that doesn’t mean I would do Twilight now, would I? No. But only because she is purple. Now the zebras on the other hand... Well, anyways, what it is is what it is… and I still stick to my opinion about doing the royal sisters. I just really have a thing for those awesome Alicorns horns and wings, just like Shining Armor, although with him, he just wanted to say he banged a princess and got to suck on a wing boner. That would be cool to say, that you banged the princess. And maybe sucked on her wing borner. On second thought that sounds kind of gay. Never mind.
You know what’s even more awesome tough than banging a princess, as if you said, ‘Instead of saving the princess, I banged her and left her for dead and in the castle.’ That’s a bit dark I’ll admit, but there you go, there’s your joke for the day good sir or good sirs. Or madam. Bitch. Well with him, he just wanted to bang a princess, that and he is royalty and shit, so… shit happens, that shit is what we can’t do anything about it.
Well anyways, I am not allowed outside of Cantorlot walls, or else Celestia and Luna will be the most pissed off ponies you would ever meet in your life. And from my experience with those two, you don't want to cross them unless you either have a death wish or ready to fuck a couple of cunts up. And I'm not the latter.
I mean, I’m betting that when your wife gets pissed off at you, you think to yourself, ‘Wow… what a bitch. She’s just on her period, she’ll come down anytime soon.' That or 'it’s her time of the month again, so don’t worry, she’ll come down. And she'll stop bleeding too.’
Yeah, your girl is like an angel compared to what Celestia and Luna is when they get pissed off. I bet they can even scare off Freddy Kruger for all I know.
I mean, they are a nightmare, although it isn’t because it’s their time of the month, although when that happens, they are a bit agitated, and yes… new word… you may stop panicking now my fellow Cow Tippers...
Well, they are bit agitated, but other than that, they’re fine and are nice… unless you disobey them and shit. Then if you do such a horrible act that they see is unwisely, then it’s quite sad to say that you’re fucked for life when it comes to that. Well I do sometimes get to go outside of Cantorlot, but it’s when I get permission from them and I have to be partnered up with Twilight if I do go.
You see, Twilight is that one bitch that you never liked at school, who is always the nerd in class and always told the teachers when someone made a mistake and that mistake should be corrected. Now, this mistake I’m talking about is when like to say if you and your friends pulled a prank on the teacher or the teacher forgot to assign homework, or she’s is just being a total bitch. Well, Twilight is just like that, except she can be acceptable at times, and she always let Celestia and Luna know what I’ve done and never lies. She’s just an Honest Abe, and you wish she wasn’t, but yea, there you go.
I mean, I don’t even live in my libaray house anymore that I used to have back in Stalia, although it still belongs to me, but I live in Cantorlot castle now, so shit and whatever. I just felt the need to put the word shit in there somewhere.
Well, I’m only allowed to go to Stalia or Ponyville if it has something to do with friends, although those are rare moments, because they usually come over here and shit.
I mean, we don’t usually do much anyways other then drink and talk. Although I barely get drunk, or smoke weed anymore because Celestia and Luna have been watching me like a hawk with that shit man. To me, it is truly fucking bullshit.
However, they are god-like beings, and for whatever reason, they are powerful then me, although it used to be the other way around, but they adapted to my ways of life and soon found a way to beat me at my own game. Also, lately TK has started to be a fucking total bastard too but that’s a whole different thing for something else later in the future.
Anyways, as I was saying, I waited and I broke the window. Yes, I somehow cannot do anything without breaking a fucking window. Well, I broke it and I eventually got out of the castle and either knocking out the guards or sneaking past them. Although I had to do it just perfectly and choose the guards to take out specifically in a particular order.
If one guard saw another guard knocked out, even for a few minutes, he would alert Celestia, to which Celestia would know that I was gone, because I have my own style of knocking out guards. Just like I have a style for everything, and you can clearly tell how I am writing down my life. Hey, I just feel like writing like this. Besides, why the fuck do I have to be fucking thoughrough? As long as I tell you with enough ideas I guess you could say to get the idea what I did and what I want you to think, then it’s all fine.
Besides, I smoke a lot of weed, my secret to be exact that Celestia and Luna doesn’t know about because I hide it under my bed. Actually, I think I can hide anything under my bed without them noticing. Maybe I can even hide my beer there as well, but then again, perhaps a black guy will drink it and bring forth the apocalypse, well whatever.
Anyways, with the guard thing and all, it took me a while to do this because I had to carefully pay attention to the guards and what their routes are and which guards takes which shift. I’ll tell you, staring at them for twelve hours through the night and trying not to have them notice me was a fucking bitch, but I got the pattern down.
Now, I can do shit until Celestia and Luna finds out what I have been doing, to which I will have to create a new tactic.
Oh, and if you’re wondering why Celestia, nor Luna didn’t hear the window breaking when I broke it. Well, their rooms aren’t as the same as mine in the same direction. Their rooms are like right next to each other, while mine is on the opposite side. Almost as if it's some kind of symbolism or something. So they can’t hear it, and surprisingly neither the guards, and they’re trained to react to any suspicious noises that bumps throughput the night.
Anyways, I then escaped the castle walls and took a midnight stroll through the nice and clam town of Cantorlot. Although I swear to you the Jack the Ripper is lurking somewhere in the dark alleyways. Well of course what about the folks that live in Cantorlot, do they like me being there?
That’s actually a different, complicated story to tell, but um… let’s just say at one point there were just too many evidence to burn. That also includes witnesses as well I should mention. They all perished. Anyways, I then escape the town of Cantorlot itself and went into a small town that isn’t too far away from Cantorlot itself.
It isn’t the best of all places to go to, mostly for it being a fucking farming town. I mean, they’ve got to be board out of their minds. I mean they’ve got to imagine about blowing their brains out in front of their children and paint the wall pink with their brains due to their boredom of watching shit grow.
I mean all farmers do is just watch shit grow… and talk about corn all day long. Well, there is another town that I used to go to, but the town that I currently go at serves as a faster way to get to Cantorlot when Celestia’s sun rises and I need to be back in my room before she even notices. Well anyways, how I get the phoenix is from this farmer guy. He farms shit like any other farming guy, you know, like corn, wheat, hookers, bitches and hoes, crack, and I even got to bribe him to make him farm some of my weed for me. Now I have an unlimited supply of weed, fuck yea.
I even make a profit out of selling the weed, although now that Celestia has knowledge of weed going around Cantorlot and elsewhere, such as Ponyville, she has made it illegal. In other words, I made Equestria a bit more American, but not American freedom of course. I mean, it ashamed that Celestia did such a horrid thing, because the weed was the most popular thing. Of course this new law didn’t go over so well… at first, but then everypony started to realize that they were fine without it and could survive.
It’s just like the Bronies when they found out that Derpy was censored for no reason at all. Except, I can’t live without Derpy. Poor Derpy, but sadly, you won’t be missed. Now just pretend there’s sad violin music playing the background, and you’re sure to cry more tears than My Little Dashie.
Well, aside from that nonsense and distraction… giant talking banana, I swear you better go before I put a bullet in your fucking head. Well, I then ran swiftly through the night, with a badass mother fucking cape mother fuckers. I mean, a cape is always badass, and the cape I had on, it was also badass. At least that's how it looks to me. My fashion is none of your bsinuess... at least your opninions cause your opniions belong in the back of the ovens. Mine's is top tier.
Well, as I was saying about running swiftly through the night, I then go to the small town that is not far from Cantorlot and break into the barn. I’m just lucky that the farmer doesn’t have a shotgun already pointing at me in the dark for stealing his phoenix so many times. He doesn't know about the whole bird thing and taking it away from him. He doesn't need know. Shhhh... it's ok, it's illegal but it's ok.
That and I’m also glad I don’t have to be forced to marry the farmer’s daughter, because you know, a shotgun wedding is always a fun time. Of course that was also a shitty sarcasm joke as well but there’s really nothing left to be said at the moment. Anyways, I then break into the barn and try to calm down the phoenix, because it makes a loud ass noise whenever an instructor is on the loose on the property. And rmemeber this phoenix is kind of bigger then other phoenixes since it big enough to carry me on it's back. So I kind of have to touch it a little bit to let it know I'm not gay and there to butt rape it.
However, I feed it dead rabbits that I kill on the farm on my way to the barn. I mean I just quickly break the rabbit’s necks and just feed it to the phoenix. That phoenix loves that kind of shit. But it does kind of disturb somewhat. That and I also cut off the Rabbit’s foot because it’s supposed to give me good luck, but I forget which foot brings me good luck under a full moon so I just take all four, even if the flesh is slowly rotting away being eaten by maggots. I think it is a full moon, but whatever, I have a lot of good luck on my side with the necklace I made of dead rabbit’s feet.
Well, I then calm the majestic phoenix down with the dead rabbits and all I do then is hop on its back to take flight. I then go and glide along the water of whatever ocean or other body of water that is near Equestria or Cantorlot if I have to stick nearby. I honestly have no fucking clue, but whatever, you get the point. And it's a fasty way to travel... and to TSA either... that measn I can carry out my plot for the tower... but which tower?
Well, I then act like a mother fucker and that’s what happened for last night before that little bit started. That and I also bring a little lantern along with me, along with plenty of ink because that one time experience I had before I should mention along with the book I’m currently writing at the moment.
Well as for what happened that almost got me caught was a different story, but it’s for a time like this because when will I ever talk about it again without going off subject? Probably any other time, but fuck it, let's do it now. I'm hyped for it. Trust me, it'll make sense in the end... of this journal... or you can skip it I guess, I'm not stopping ya... So it was around dinner time and Fausticorn came for a quick little visit.
Fausticorn said hi to her two daughters, which of course Celestia and Luna and she left to go back to being god of heaven… and all of life apparently.
How she does that is… another story… for another time… look, do I really need to say it every time or is there a lot of fucking retards then I expected there to be reading this dam thing?
Well, after she left, Celestia then said to me, “Well, that was a very good evening for once, especially you Knight. You’re usually not here to meet her in time or off doing something that is not important and you could let TK handle it, but I’m glad that you were here this time around instead of making excuses. I also have to admit that you also had a bit more… gentlecolt like manners than what you usually have at the table.”
Then I said to Celestia, “Yeah, yeah, yeah Celestia. Whatever the fuck you want to say… can I please take this shit off of my back. I mean is it really mandatory for me to wear this cape?”
Then Celestia said, with a bit of a pissed off voice while she talked to me along with firery eyes, “Knight, you know why that cape was even made? You should know already that she…”
I then had cut her off and said, “Made it for me out of fucking love and mother fucking care and it was fucking made out of fucking material that I’m sure thousands of Asian like ponies died for their fucking sins. Whatever you say you fucking bitch.”
Then Celestia said to me, “Knight, you promised me you would start to watch your language!”
Then I said to her fucking nagging bitch face, “Listen Celestia, I have been up since four in the fucking morning, just so you could talk to me while you raise up the sun and shit, while I had to do shit like filing paper work for Equestria and shit! Do you see my face is in any mood to talk to you right now without cursing up a storm!? All I want to fucking do is take this stupid cape off, take my bath, and go to fucking bed… while strangely having Wolf sleep right next to my bed, although he’s down with a bullshit Timberwolf disease that I don’t even think exists! He’s been having my ass take care of him all day and fucking night, fucking doucebag.”
Then Celestia stopped before I could continue to walk with her… big ass wings… and she said, “You dare give disrespect to her!? What she did to make that cape!? You better start acting the way you should be acting before I disobey her orders and I swear to you Knight, I will harm you! I will break every bone in your body to make sure you never leave here again!"
I just stood there, not being phased by Celestia's words.
Celestia coontinued to say to me, "Second of all, with your studies and having or used to having me as a personal teacher, you should know that the disease that Wolf has is a rare Timberwolf disease called Wood Virus, where he can only heal himself through getting the same medicine for the common cold!"
I just stood there, rolling my eyes at her as I mocked her in my head. I already knew that, but I just was kind of on edge at the time. can you blame a guy who's on edge... and not edging? Come on... come on...
Anyways, Celestia said to me, "Third, you have changed Knight! From the first time I met you, you were nicer and more calm, and even friendlier than this! Now, you criticize your friends, disobey me, Luna, and even her! You start to make a scene every time you walk out of this castle and into town. You curse more then you even should! You are also impolite and very rude most of the time, and you’re also an alcoholic and addicted to drugs! We are jut trying to help you to be better and to reach your full potential."
I just stood there with wides eyes a little bit, thinking of what she was saying. But nothing was getting through to me however.
Celestia contineud to drone on with, "You sir should not even be wearing that cape until you understand that what you have to do is what you have to do and grow up! However, what is standing from me doing that to you is that she will not allow me to do such a thing. So do not dare to waste this chance of yours, and either grow up or use the ball to turn everything back to how it is supposed to be! Do I make myself clear to you!?”
Then, there was silence in the room. There was silence in the room for about a few minutes, as tension started to stir up. Luna also knew it, and stood in shock, waiting for my next move to happen, while Celestia had her eyes glow of white hatred. As the silence grew, she came closer and ever so closer to me, as if I was a retard or something as I satred her down, not caring what she had to say.
Well, I then took a step forward with my right hoof and told her right in that bitch’s face, “If you ever say… or talk to me that way again… I will personally rip out your throat. You may think you have authority over me, but what you don’t have is power. I am more powerful than you! I have seen things, done things within my past, even after I had lessons ended with you, I have seen things that aren’t so peaceful!
I turned my back to her and started to hang my head down a little bit while moving around a bit in frustration.
I continued to say to her, "I am sick and tired of you fucking treating me like the way that you two do to me and not let me even go or dare step a single hoof outside of Cantorlot. I shouldn’t take this shit from you, instead… I should rip out your throat, make you suffer, and cut off your head! You may be thousands of years old, but I’m older than god of this universe, so watch where you step, and be careful to not cross the lines of the borders with me.”
Maybe I had gotten a little carried with my words there, but hey, being on edge combined with lack of sleep kind of makes me say some stuff... even if it is a little bit edgy and cringe worthy. But that only makes me more of a cringe god... oh hail the cringe god! I'm not there yet, but I will over throw and starta coup over the current one. And no one can say it's an insurrection... cause how can they say it when they are all dead... huh... heh?...
Anyways, I then was about to walk away from everything... until Celestia put her left hoof on me, very roughly I might add, and she said to me in the sweetest of all voices (Imagine I have a troll face on right now…) “You may have power, but I have powerful friends! I do not let you step a single hoof out of Cantorlot for your own good! Sometimes, your kind needs to be taught a lesson or two when to follow orders when told to do so, especially from your elders! Regadrless of how old you claim to be!"
Then I turned around to face Celestia with a scolding look on ym face and continued the conversation with, “Elders? Elders!? You may be an elder in this universe, but in my world you are nothing but a puny little thing, but of a mere small percentage that can do nothing! I also have the power you bitch! I swear to you that I will not only kill you if you dare cross the line, but I will do so with god if I have to do such a thing. I will kill her and make her suffer the worst has ever seen in their own pathetic world they call a fucking life! And I should remind you I have powerful friends too!"
I was starting to get a little edgy. It was starting to get embressing like an old high school photo. I mean I shouldn't have said it, but hey I'm just telling the tiurht. I'm all better now and clear minded... for now.
I continued to say to her, "I will also burn heaven and Earth down, and make all suffer if you dare cross that damn fucking line! I will kill her slowly and painfully, and drink her blood as well! I will even take her throne and crown myself king if I am pushed to my outer regions of my so called limits! Then your little sister can rot in purgatory, and I will enjoy every bit of it as she begs for forgiveness and begs for freedom. And if you do not believe me, I will show thy that I have proof. I will personally go up to my friends, kill Neon, and make the others suffer."
Yeah... why am I even writing this down. I could just burn it right now and you guys wouldn't even know about it unless you did the old lemon trick. But then again i just wasted some good ink writing that so... might as well go on.
I then said to her, "I will even go and silently kill Wolf if I have to do such a thing. And to top it off, I will gladly hunt TK town, use his only weakness that only I know and can use against him, and burn him alive! I will make him cry and break him! I will break him and bring him to his fucking knees! I will bring all of my friends, even the Elements of Harmony, Neon, Jack, Mac, Forest, Arrell, and Wolf to their knees and burn them alive! You have no power over me, and I will personally turn Factory Dash to her evil self once more and let her destroy this universe. And as for the universe itself, I will put an end to it, and I will proclaim myself as king, and I would gladly do all of that, just to make sure I am not bluffing at all.”
Yeah… pretty depressing huh? Well, then Celestia came up to me and said to me once more, but with a calming voice, “You cannot do such a thing, not after what you know and went through. Not even what emotionally that we that you went through. You know that in you, that you will never bring yourself to do such a horrible act. You are nothing but a small… little… pony… my… little… pony…”
roll the credits.
Then, she pushed her limits in my book and I punched her right in the face with my hoof. Then she flew back just a bit, and a bit of blood went to the floor. Then… she came back to her senses after touching the spot where I punched her, and was not in the mood to make up.
Then, She flew right into me into the wall and we started to fight. She started to punch me and my face repeatedly with her two hooves while holding me down somewhat with her magic, but I then pushed her back the best I could with some sort of force that is another story… you get the drill.
However, instead of her hitting the wall, she caught herself and flew right back to me, but I dodged her attack and went to grab a hold of the chandelier lights that was in the room. You know, the chandelier that is in basically all nice and fancy royal dinner rooms.
Well, I grabbed a hold of it, but Celestia was charging one of her spells up to attack me with, but once she fired, I dropped to the ground. However, I wasn’t safe from harm’s way just yet. The chandelier was about to drop from the ceiling and of curse crush me and kill several guards with the broken glass and all, until; I did a quick doge roll to my left, or the opposite side from Celestia from across the table that is.
Then after she saw that I had dogged the chandelier, she went across the table to attack me, but I had the upper hand and got to her first. I then said ‘fuck it’ to myself and quickly put or turned on the knight suit, to which I was then quickly covered in TK’s original suit or body armor, along with the badass cape.
You can’t go wrong with a bad ass black colored cape, now can you? Well, once I did the quick transformation, and yes, another word, hold your applause till the end, and I grabbed her head and slammed her face right into the wall as hard as I could.
Then, she was a bit dazed and confused, till I then started to punch her repeatedly, and more than what she did to me before at the start of the fight. Blood was spraying everywhere, and Celestia’s face was a little bit messed up, but after the fight, she used a certain spell where she fixed it up and made it all better. I have no clue where she learned such a spell, but, whatever, she does what she does.
However, to describe this much gore and blood that was being made by me, well, let’s put it like this. It’s like the ending of God of War III, where you’re fighting Zeus. When you’re fighting Zeus to the very end of the fight, you’re basically punching the living shit out of him and the screen is covered in blood. Well, that’s how exactly how that happened, except there was a lot more blood to go around.
Then, she stopped one of my hooves… and punched me, to which I was pushed back to the opposite wall. Also, I should mention once that candle lit chandelier fell down, a fire started to happen. When I flew back to the opposite wall, I was then dazed and confused, just like what I did to Celestia, however, the knight suit went back and was no more, to which I was visible in my pony form once more.
Then a guard came up next to me, and pretty much threatened me, “ Get the Neon hell off of Celestia you piece of vile trash… or else I’ll have to hurt you, you son of a bitch! You do not treat a lady like that… you hear me you dead mother fucker!”
Then I grabbed a hold of his neck and broke it, to which that then pissed off Celestia even more to which I was then attacked. She then proceeded to pin down and use a spell to hurt me right in my face, to possibly kill me or not, but I fought back, as I pushed her force between mine. It’s kind of like when two light sabers are hitting each other or making contact between each other.
However, then Luna came in, with her white possessed like eyes, and yelled in her magnificent Royal Cantorlot Voice, “Tis enough! Knight, you should listen to us and understand that we do not mean harm to thee! Celestia, you shall not kill him, for he is only misguided by darkness! Now, both of you, stop immediately!”
Then she calmed down and me and Celestia stopped fighting. Then Celestia stopped for a moment to think about what Luna had just said in her Royal Cantorlot Voice.
Celestia then said, “She is right Knight. We have to stop fighting each other, and agree to disagree with each other, like adults that we are. Knight?”
Then I cut Celestia off and didn’t give two shits what Luna said to the both of us and continued to fight Celestia and pinned her against the wall with my off the grid powers, plus magical power because I’m a unicorn and shit. After I did what I did, Luna did nothing at all to stop me but float in mid-air while have her mouth drop for I had disobeyed her wishes and commands and shit. Then, she looked like she had a bit of a depressed face on, but whatever.
However, I was trying to pin Celestia down and use a spell on her to blow her brains out and paint the wall pink with her brains, but she pushed me aside. However, I did something very clever. You see, Celestia noticed the spell I was trying to do, but it wasn’t the spell that she was thinking of, but of a spell where it is a simple levitation spell, but with the added color. I had a spell for that…three seconds ago.
I literarily made that spell up within three seconds while fighting Celestia. However, when I was pushed back, Celestia was trying her best to say something to me, but she noticed that I had some grenades left right next to her side. Why did I have grenades in my satchel you may ask? I don’t know, it’s always good to carry grenades wherever you go.
I mean, you’ll never know when a grenade can come in handy while you’re out and about. I mean, to say that you need to get something off from a shelve at a store, but the shelve is way too high. Well, you throw a grenade at it, and the explosion from the force will then push the object towards you, to which you can catch the object that you desired, and yes, oh my fucking god, another new word I used. Anyways, once Celestia saw what I did, she threw the grenades as far as possible, from anypony, and surprisingly even me, so no pony would get hurt.
Well, she almost did her job, but the grenades did serious damage that was server to her leg once the explosion happened. She was weak and was an easy target, so I made my move. I then grabbed a sword from that pony guard I killed and was about to cut off Celestia’s head. I then stood there, in a ready position where I was about to chop off her head in front of her little sister Luna, although I was going to kill her too, but, whatever, it’s fine.
I then paused for a moment, and Celestia with a sad expression on her face, with a bit of tears on her face as well, because she couldn’t believe of all the ponies, that I, Knight would kill her. Which is also hard to explain that part, but whatever, another story, you know the drill.
Well, I then had that look on my face that said, ‘Say your last words, or forever burn in hell where you will suffer when I get to heaven and kill her up in the sky, where there is no escape.’
Then Celestia knew what I was saying in my face expression, to which she said, “Go ahead Knight. Kill me, right here, right now. Do it Knight, slay my head right off…and prove to me that you will do what you said, but remember this, that you better keep true to your word, because once she finds out, she will never forgive you for such an act, and her heart will be broken to see you like this, and only wished for the best for you. So do it, and make sure you do it quick, for Luna will not give a second thought about trying to harm you anyway possible.”
I then didn’t swing the sword, but instead stood there for a moment, while the fire was still going around us. I then continued to look at Celestia, and had a tear on my face as well.
I then thought in my head… ‘What am I doing? I can’t do this. She is a loved one of mine, and I cannot bring myself to do this. No…no I must kill her and show that I mean business.'
I then had quick shook my head and filled my eyes with flames of anger and filled my mind with terrible though.
‘I continued to say to myself within my own mind, 'I will show all of them! I will show them not to fuck with me! I will show them that I will not tolerate what they do! I will not tolerate being forbidden to go outside the walls of Cantorlot! I will make them pay! I deserve better then what I receive from them! Wolf can burn in hell with his bullshit reasons not to fight it! He does not tell me what to fucking do! My friends as well will also pay the price with their souls! They will pay for it because they agree with Celestia and Luna, and friends help each other when in need, they do not help! I will also show TK, who forbids me to go off the grid and continue to run the Universal United! I will burn him alive and bring him to his knees and break him!'
I then shook my head again while pushing my ears back a bit and filled my eyes with worry and sadness while filling my mind with questions and confusion.
I said to myself in my own head, 'But… I can’t do that…they only want what is best for me, what is right. They are also my friends who would never hurt me, in fact they would not allow me to get hurt if it meant that I would feel pain. My hearts says no, while my mind says yes. I need to gently bring my sword down and apologize, and say I’m sorry… but I need to do it, so I will show them all! I will get my revenge on all of them. They are nothing, while I have power! I have power that is more then all of them combined! They are weak, while I am strong! The strong will never be led by the weak! I am stronger then all of them! And I will kill all of them!'
I then shook my head again as I struggled with the two emotions trying to take over me by pulling me back and forth. It was like an angel and a demon was constantly trying to convince me which side was right and which one was wrong.
I said to myself in my own little world, 'But… no… I must not, for they are who they are and they love me and only want the best for me. Even her, she wants the best for me as well, in fact, she just wants me to be who see wants me to be… but I am not in control. All I am to her is a slave. She does not give me any freedom, nor does she let me control my own destiny. And for that, she will pay with her head. But still… I cannot do it. I must wait till I get my feelings sorted out, but what will I say to them… I got it.’
I then broke the silence that was in the room as I shook my head one final time and finally spoke up while closing my eyes in despair and hang my head in shame.
I then said to both of them while dropping my sword as it made a clinging sound when it hit the ground and show signs of me giving up, “Only because Luna is right. Only because…”
I then walked away to go to my room, while Luna helped her big sister up and trying to support her from falling for her legs were damaged from the grenade blast.
After I left the room, I overheard Celestia say to her little sister, “Only if he understood what we were trying to do for him, but instead, all he does is be blinded by the lies. No matter what he says, I will forever blame TK for turning Knight into what he is now. He can complain and show evidence all he wants, but I will shall forever stand by my opinion about him. He was fine when I had first met him. He had poential, but now he squanders it all away . He is wasteful. And it's his fault that he is the way he is."
I just stood there by the door way listening to everything.
Celestia had contineud to say o Luna, "I forever blame him for his mistakes, for training him outside of the universe. Although, I do blame Knight for some of his wrong doings, because it was by his own will he could have chose in his past, but he decided to lead by his own rules, rather following the ruleles of others and rules by us. I wished Knight could only see that we do not mean harm to him. We only want him to rise and become who he is meat to be. If not for the sake of our world, then at least for the sake of his own world.”
But then Luna then cut off Celestia and said, “But dear sister, perhaps it was for the best that he is on his own path. We may not want him to be so, and choose the path that is suppsoed to be set for him. But at least in the end, he can write his own path. His own destiny. Fate has changed. You know that. We have seen it together you and I. With our own eyes. And while we shouldn't let him go, we need to for his own sake. Like you said, if not for us, at least let it be for his own."
Then Celestia got off the ground and she yelled, “Luna, look what happened! Do you think this is a good outcome!? This is not the best we could have had from him! We could have had better with him, where he was not stubborn, he would listen to us, and he would do what he was meant to do years ago. If he would just be on the path was was set for him, none of this would have happened, I just know it wouldn't have happened. But now... his own path is coruppted. He could be embracing for what he is, but instead we lost him! We lost him to that selfish human that he created that he called by the name of TK. This is all of his fault, and him only. I do not blame his friends, nor do I blame Wolf or Factory Dash. They would have not affected him at all if he was still doing what he was doing, but TK is the reason why he is doing things like this to us and her.”
Then Luna said, “But dear sister, does TK not side with us and does he not want Knight to stay where he is at so he can reach his potentia here? Does he not agree with us and take our side on the matter we face now with poor Knight?”
Then Celestia answered the question with, “I don’t care if he does partake our side with us or not! It was before all of that happened, but now is different, and I will never forgive TK. He is not a friend of mine, but I will not shun him away for he is the only one that is making sure Knight is staying away from that portal that leads to outside of the universe. However, he is a human, and even though Knight created him, I cannot trust humans.
‘ I would have given them a chance, but after what I have seen in the human universe, where Knight came from, I fear every night that Knight will go back to them, and we will lose him once more! TK may look down on the human race, but it still does not make a difference for he is a human as well, and as Knight described the human race, and I do quote from him, ‘they are nothing more but lost souls who cannot find a way for they have no leader, but even then they will still act by human nature.’
‘For her sake Luna, she saw where Knight came from and she shed tears that night when she got back for she saw the true horror of the humans. She cried where Knight has been all of these years and she wishes well for him and for him to never go back. Granted he has gone back several times, but even though he has gotten back safely every time, she still fears for him. She still worries every night, if he will come back from his mission, or we will have lost him again. We can no longer take the risk Luna.
‘He stays here, where he belongs in the first place, and he will continue to stay here until he finds his roots. I do not care how long it takes him till he acts how he is supposed to act, but he will never leave this universe. Besides, we almost lost him, and I recall that night when you and I, along with our dear mother cried for his safety, as we tried our best to guide him towards the light, but yet he does not appreciate what we have done for him.
‘ Until that day comes, when he truly sees what we’re trying to do for him and show him the true ways of his nature on how he supposed to act upon, he will never leave our sight. Now then, I suppose we should fix the mess what Knight has made for us.”
Then Celestia gave a sigh, to which she then said, “How about you go check on Knight, to see how he is doing, while I try to clean up this mess. I want to make sure he is alright. I'd do it myself, but I think it's best that you do it. Ok... sister?”
Then Luna nodded her head in compliance, to which she then went towards my room at the Cantorlot castle, which was somewhere on the west wing, just like Celestia’s and Luna’s rooms were at in the east wing.
As Luna was on her way to check up on me, I was trotting back and forth in my room as I headed back not long after, having an angry look on my face, as I tried my best to sort my feelings out. At the same time, Wolf was still sick in his personally made bed just made for him only, while he was sick and trying his best to get rest for that was what he needed to get better with and to cure his sickness that weakened him so. He was all curled up and trying his best to use his left wooden paw to cover his face to block out the light in the bedroom.
I was trotting back and forth and saying to myself, “I will show all of them. I will show both them that I am not to be messed with. How dare they defy me and my abilities and not go outside of the universe. I should have ripped Celestia’s head off while I had the chance, but then again… they seem to care for me... and only what is best for me in the long run… And what I am supposed to be to them… and that is something I cannot let go away. I should possibly apologize to them, but they still deserve it though, for they…”
Then Wolf cut me off and he said in his best voice possible, as he had a bit of a raspy undertone to his voice, “Can you please talk to yourself a bit quieter Knight. I’m sure your jokes and problems with Celestia and Luna are funny, but it has to wait till I get better. OK? So please keep it down.”
Then once Wolf finished his input on the situation, something went off in my mind, and I had that mad look within my own eyes.
I then quickly went up to Wolf and grabbed him by the neck, slowly strangling him and brigning him up to my own eye level even. My horn lit up to help carry a bit of his wieght since he was just made out of wood. I then said to him with a small little grin on my face and a mad look in my eyes that was like TF a bit, “I will show all of them. I will show that I am not to be messed with, by starting off by killing you. I will make you suffer, for you do nothing but take their side on the matter and will not even defend my opposition on going to the outside of the universe."
I shook Wolf around a bit, while Wolf didn't seem to care too much what I was doing to him. He just seemed tired in his eyes and wanted to go back to sleep.
I contineud to say while moving my head around and looking at other place in the room and acting a bit crazy, "I will kill you, show your dead useless body to the both of them, and I will declare war on my friends… and god of the universe… and once they are all dead… then they will know they don’t fuck with me. I will show all of them!!! And I will kill you, by killing just like how I killed your abusive family back in the Everfree Forest where I found you, and I will bury you there as well, so their sprits will forever torture your poor soul there. I'll send you back to the caves where you belong! I'll treat you how animals need to be treated from tht wretched place!”
As I was saying all of this, Wolf was once again, not giving a shit. He didn't seem to give a single care in the world what I was saying to him.All he seemed to care was going back to sleep as all he did was give a big yawn to me, something akin to playing a boring game like an orange woman fighting robot dinosaurs or something Hint hint... fight me bitch. The grip with my hooves of course were holding him tight though still. It’s weird, yes… but oddly it still works somehow. Pony hooves in this universe is really weird sometimes and makes no logical sense to the human mind but it works nonetheless. But it worked better since I was a unicorn still.
Anyways, He seemed fine to me while I was giving him the stink eyes, not even sturggling breathing because he was fucking wood I guess. He kept to himself until he said the best he could with my hoof around his wooden neck, “Knight, with what you just said sounded cool and all. Butn you're starting to sound like a cringe edgelord. Could you please stop and put me down before you say something else that's cringe. If you keep this up, I'm going to want to die. He he...”
Wolf then for a breif moment made a goofy face towards me. He even tried his best to give a laugh while he was still sick. He was the one that didn't take things too seriously, but whatever, Wolf was being Wolf as much as Neon was being Neon at times.
Then I said to him in a very gritty voice, while having my face up close to him and meeting our eyes with one another, but not in a gay way, “And that is why I also want you dead. You’re not only selfish, but you're annoying at the same time. All you ever did was lounge around and do nothing. All you ever did was piugg back off of my hard work. You never worked, nor did you ever bring in the money. I did all of that! I'm the one who kept you fed all these years! I'm the one who took care of you and tried to save your ass! You were more useless than Spike from the fucking show back on Earth. And yet somehow you could look in the mirror everyday and say it was fine. You're no friend of mine. You're just a bunch of fucking wood that never learned to shut the fuck up once in life. You're just like the others. You've never learned. And you've never kept queit and heard yourself think.”
Then Wolf said to me , “Listen to what you’re saying Knight. You starting to sound like TK, but more worse. All you're saying is a bunch of... I don't what you're saying anymore. You don't sound right at all. What happened to the guy who I used to know that knew to have fun when he needed to have fun and to crack a joke every once in a while. I know you've been stuck at this place for a while now, but learn to live a little. I may be just a bundle of sticks and wood to you that is somehow alive, but at least I keep to who I am and not some flame raging faggot that doesn't know when to quit. I may not be much to this world or your world, but at least I can have a good time like how you used to do. So what are you waiting for? Put me down and have a laugh... huh buddy?”
Then Wolf slowly started to give me a big smile while trying to give a chuckle. But that effort was fruitless as he just started to caough a bit which was a bit disgusting. Trust me, wood germs is not a laughing matter. But someone with AIDS and is about die... now that's funny, like TBS. Very funny, assuming you're half a retard that liked Jack and Jill. I knew someone once that liked it, and I cna only imagine how they turned out today. Wondering if they are reading it now. And if that is the case, then burn in hell you souless mutant of a human being. I'm sorry... that was too mean. What I should say is that it's ok. It's not your fault that you're a half a brain dead retard. It's ok... we'll give you some help, and his name is docotr MP5. Just do it already.
Anyways, I saw that I wasn't getting through to him and his thick skull that wasalso probbaly made out of wood. so I did the only thing that I could andI then put him down gently, and let him drop to the floor. Wolf dropped down flat on his wooden stomach onto the fancy carpet with a thud. Wolf only had a dumb look on his face. As for my face, I only had a disappointed, but angered look on my face. I was still in the mindset of a crazy operson. However my muscles started to loosen up a bit as my mind started to calm down.
Wolf then said to me as he contineud to lie down, "Thank you..."
I then had that look on my face that says, ‘What have I become? What am I doing hurting my best friend that has stood by my side through hell and back, through all the crazy adventures we had, even if no one else wanted to go with me.’
I then took a few steps back away from Wolf as I started to realize what I had become, yet somewhere in my mind the thought of wanting to hurt Wolf and other still lied there. and it still lies there as I'm writing you this. As for Wolf though, he just got up and walked back to his bed like nothing had happened to him.
He then said to me while he was giving me the stink eye, "You know... you can be real rude sometimes. Now do me a favor and keep it down will ya. I was having a dream that I was boning this broad before you woke me up."
Wolf then started to go back to his curled up postion from before and tried to get some rtest to fight his illness.
I on the other hand just stood there while shaking my head in disappointment as I said to him, "You bastard Wolf..."
And somewhere on my face, a small smile was starting to form. It felt like I was going to laugh again, just as Wolf had asked me to. But then it started t go away quickly.
The fire inside of me did not die down, it was not extinguished, but the rage continues to fight on, and my anger slowly rose again, but I tried my best to fight it within me, but it’s useless, as the anger grew and grew, and wanted to kill Celestia and Luna very badly… until Luna came in that is. I was somehow standing in the middle of the room, where I didn’t even notice where I was even at, and it had seemed that Wolf had put his left wooden paw over his eyes like before and slowly went back to sleep.
Luan opened my door quietly and she said, “Knight… is everything ok in here?”
Then I said while putting my pony ears back a bit and settping forward a bit towards her with a glint in my eyes with a tone of hestiation in my voice, “Yes…everything is fine Luna. I was just about to go to bed.”
Then Luna said with a curious face still on while looking worried for me and my soul, “Are you sure? I thought I heard crying coming from this very room not too long ago.”
Then I said while a small smile was returning to my face as I cotnineud to talk to Luna and hanged my head down just a bit, “It wasn’t me… it was Wolf. And he wasn't crying either, he was just... trying to crack a joke like usual. And it was kind of funny too... you should have heard it.”
Then Luan said with a slight chuckle, “I'm sure it was. Listen... Knight... You have to understand that we are keeping you here because we need you to embrace what you are and what you can be doing out there in this world. We do not hate you, nor we are evil towards you, but we only what is best for everypony, especially you Knight. We just… want to make sure you are on the right path.
I then said to her while circling around a bit and shaking my eyes a bit while looking slightly annoyed towards her, “The right path? Which path is that? Are we talking about your path or my own path?”
Then Luna said, “We don't mean it like that. We just want to make sure you're on the right for your own story, for your own sake and... look, we can talk about this some other time. I've got to get going. Goodnight… I suppose… I will be off to do my duty as the Princess of the Night.”
Then Luna slowly and quietly closed my door, and I was left to attend to my other businesses. When she closed it, I then fell down to my pony knees and curled up in a nearby corner. I then stayed there for a good roughly thirty minutes, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t turning into a monster, especially a monster that I hated and despised. A monster that was diabolical… and yes, to ruin the moment, I used another word that only Cow Tippers use.
My god, Cow tppers and Grammer Nazis must be terrified by now… in a matter of fact, those people perhaps died of a heart attack by now since I’m just throwing fancy words at them. And the grammar nazis are especially furious because I didn't give them their jews like I promnised from before... remmeber? Remember when I promised them the word jews? Do you remember? Ok, before I continue, the joke is getting old, and I’ll admit, being stuck in Cantorlot really doesn’t give me that much to do in material wise. The best I could do is make fun of a rich pony who is wearing a nice hat.
That is the best I can even do, but only because I’m stuck in Cantorlot and only depressed shit happens. And if you don’t believe me, well, I almost killed Celestia and Luna and declared war on god of this universe, also known as Fausticorn. I almost killed my friend who also was acting weird and award about it like he usually does to these kind of things. And I am also having a conflict within myself, to weather should I kill everyone or not.
So yea... dark and depressing shit has been going on, and only a minute ago it was all about the laughter and having friends and having good times, but now it’s depressing, saddening, suicidal, deep, and meaningful. You probably want to scoop your own eyeballs out by now don't yeah. Well, that’s just the circle of life, and insert Lion King joke here. Anyways, another thing I should mention, does the jokes really matter?
I mean this is only a life story, and it really shouldn’t matter among you people or humans I suppose, since I live with the ponies now. It's all I've got after all. I don't have much left in this world or this life that I have now. But if I can crank out a good few jokes for you fine... honkers out there, then why the fuck shouldn't I do it? Well, maybe because it's a slight distraction, yet I'm sure I'm brighten up someone's day, as it sure hell brightens up mine just writing this with only a feather and ink. The old school method.
Anyways, Wolf was back to sleep, but I do wonder if he will ever look past my slowly, going insane mindset. Well, I then quietly broke my window, and jumped through it to the garden grounds of the castle. I then sneaked past some of the guards, while also taking some out at the same time.
Eventually, after doing such a thing for about ten minutes, you get the idea, I then saw the exit to the garden. It was an exit that I could then escape the castle gates and be free to do whatever I may please that I see fit and fly on that bird thing to write this to right now. However, as I was about a few meters away from the gate, making a quiet run for it, a dark figure swooped down from the sky and stopped me from my destination. I quickly stopped in my tracks with a surprised look on my face. Then it turned out to be Luna as I got a better look at her, and I her saw her eyes as they met mine. I saw it in her face that she was wondering why I was out of my room.
Luna said to me straight forward, “Where do you think you’re going Knight? Did you not say that you were going to bed before I talked to you about the events that took place after she left?”
Then I stood there frozen, as if I wasn’t a real pony, but of a statue. I had a straight and serious look on my face, but inside I was scared. My heart wasstarting to beat fast and I did not know what to do, for I did not want to cause any more trouble. On top of all of that, there were guards all around me that could trap and kill me any second if I were to strike Luna. Well not really, they were all knocked out b me and my ol' magic, but you never know, they might wake up from their nap... or not. I might have a problem after I get back. Anyways, I then had to come up with something fast, but then I had the idea to not blow my cover to Luna.
I then said to Luna with an innocent look on my face while making little circle on the ground with my right hoof and looking fonward somewhat with my pony ears pushed back, “Well… after you spoke to me, I did go to bed. However, I couldn’t go to sleep right away and… I was thinking about the stars.”
Then Luna said with a curious look on her face as she raised her head up a bit high, “Well, what about the stars were you thinking of?”
I then said to Luna while keeping my innocent looking act up while looking a little bit clueless and wondering as I looked up at the stars and away from Luna, “Well… I was thinking about how you’re the princess of the night. Well… it reminded me as a child on Earth back in the universe where I was born at, I always wanted to see the stars as a kid. I was always fascinated by them, and saw how they twinkled in the sky. I always was curious about space and wanted to see the stars every night. Although I could never do that because I was always forced to be stuck inside the house that I lived in when I was merely but a child. I always wanted to go out at night and go to a spot where there’s plenty of space, such as a hill I suppose… and just look up at the stars. I even wanted to go out and hear the stories about some of the constellations and how they came to be, for I never heard of them so much in my early years of life."
She was buying it. She was eating it up as she had a warm smile form on her face as she looked hopeful towards me. Perhaps somewhere in her mind tonight, she was thinking that there was hope for me still. Even though I was acting stupid and none of this would have add up canon wise, Luna was starting to have pity for me.
I contineud to go on saying while turning my back to her and sitting down on my pony ass, "I also wanted to see the moon out as well and just look up at the stars and enjoy their presence. Well... years later I was fortunate to go out and see them, but unfortunate events happened that prevented me to see almost any of the stars. Back on Earth, there is something we called light pollution, where there would be so many unnatural light sources that would be so bright, no one could see but of the brightest of the stars. But even then those stars would be fairly dim and a person would have to be lucky to even see it. Only at certain rare spots could one ever see so many stars at one point. So... I thought perhaps I could go out and enjoy them since I thought about it. I mean, I won’t have time anytime soon, for I do have work to do in here that you two give me on a daily basis.”
Then Luna stared at me, but not with anger, but of happiness and it almost as if she wanted to cry tears of joy a bit.
She then said to me gently as she walked up behind me and placed her right hoof on my left pony shoulder, “Well then, I know a perfect spot to see the stars at Knight. Follow me.”
I turned my head as she had touched me and had a little smile being made on my face. Luna then turned around and started to walk towards the exit of the gardens.
I then said to myself underneath my breath with a small smirk where Luna couldn't hear me, "Sucker... he he..."
I then followed her outside of the garden gates and out into the town of Cantorlot. However, if you do wonder how I came up with this lie, it’s because I did mean it. When I was a child, I did want to see the stars out late at night. But sadly, however, my childhood dreams were taken away, and that does sadden me in my heart, but it was a lie that I could tell without feeling any guilt, for it was the truth. Or was it? Yeah... making you think... can't tell what is real and what isn't. Maybe you're not real and that really you're just a figment of my imagination and I'm not writing anything down and I'm just doing this all in my head while being in a coma. Making you question the reality of all this aren't I? It adds layers... like an onion. Yeah...
Well, I then caught up and followed Luna to a special spot near the outside of Cantorlot, where it is also a hill side spot. It wasn't too far of a walk, but it was kind of hidden, I'm sure to Celestia's eyes as well. She took me there and sat down on her pony ass. I was still standing when we got to the top with a curious look on my face and she gave me a sign to sit down next to her by tapping her hoof on the ground three times to spot where she wanted to sit at. I then did what she told me to do and I sat next to her. All with a look of whimsy on my face.
Once I did that, I looked up at the stars and I got to admit, I almost wanted to cry as well. They looked beautiful out tonight and it was amazing. They all twinkled and dnaced around in the sky. Sure I've seen stars before, plenty of times, yet everytime I look up, it feels like I've been missing out on something as I never really take the time to look up and think about it all. We didn’t say a word to each other, but we both looked at the stars as they twinkled up at the sky for about an twenty one minutes or so. I mean if it was an hour, then our necks would have been stiff, but we remained silent to each other for those twenty one minutes or so. Al with the sounds of the crickets that wer eprobably humping in the background, filling the empty noise that was vacant.
However, Luna then said to me as she was getting up from her pony ass ad our eyes locked on to each other as she had a little smile on her face, “Well… I have to go to work. Can I trust you that you will see yourself back to your room after you enjoy your spot at looking at the stars?”
Then I said with a trustworthy smile while clsoing my eyes in delight like a child, “I Pinkie Promise you I will return after looking at the stars.”
Luna did not say another word, but instead have a smile on her face. She then spread out her wings and took off to go back to her duties as princess of the night. Once I was finished and the coast was clear, that was about an extra eleven miutes or so, I then got up and went to the town where I steal the phoenix and sht.
I know I lied to Luna, including the fact that it was a Pinkie Promise, yeah, it looks like I would have been fucked since Pinkie can sense if someone breaks a Pinkie Promise or not. However, I am looking up at the stars right now while writing this… so take that you pink son of a bitch. You're not going to do anything. You're not canon to this story... kind of... I mean she is but... that pink bitch doesn't know what's going on. The Mane 6 doesn't really know either except for maybe Twilight. They are just on the sidelines as they do their own thing. Almost like a potential side series... even though that will never happen ebcause I am never looking at the portal window to see what they have been up to this until time. Nope. Go fuck yourself.
Well, now… let’s actually get back to the main story here… you know… the story that I was supposed to be talking about. The one with me and my friends in Stalia instead of what I just said over ten thousand words ago that happened earlier to me on my way over here to write this part. I think it was ten thousand. Maye more. who knows. I don't do the counting. Stalian does though, but uhhh... he's a little on edge, been snorting too much of the crack lately. Kind of the reason why he sends people to the gulag. He thinks everyone is a shadow demon out to get him in his sleep. You want to meet him? Hold on...
...
Ok I just opened up a portal window thingy to an alternate universe and letting Stalian taking the pen here. Say Hi Stalin.
"What is this! Where am I!? You get away from me or else I'll throw in the fucking ovens like Hitler! You stay away from me and my fucking nuts! Those nuts are mine!"
And I just closed the portal... and stalin is gone. But he's still counting them votes. You can count on him to do anything... wink... wink wink... wink wink wink...
Ok let's get back to where we left off... I'm sorry. Well... let’s see, where do I start? Let me think...
Well… actually, before I begin, there is something…
Fine… fine… fine I’ll stop stalling you guys. Well, I’ll begin right after Neon pulled me through a portal to go back to Earth when I was in no mood to go to because I wasn’t in the fucking mood to do such a thing. Well, a few hours after that shit happened, Misty’s father knocked on my door.
Not too long ago he tucked his daughter into her little cardboard box because… shit I don’t remember what I said. Well, he had tucked her in nice and calm, and also made sure she was warm as she could be because it was a bit cold that night. Well, she was decently warm, because there wasn’t much to keep her warm, but still though. Well, after he did that, he then proceeded, which yes, once again, new word, the more you know, insert rainbow.
Well, he then took a short bit of a walk to find my house. Eventually he did find it, to where he knocked on my door.
At first, he didn’t get a response. He had thought I already went to bed, so he knocked once more, but this time he knocked a bit louder. However, no response was made under then the dead silence of Luna’s night. However, he then started to become impatient about the silence, so what he did next was that he went to see if he could open a window, however, thanks to Wolf being drunk and high as fuck, the windows were lock of course.
I know it doesn’t make sense, but if you spend enough time with Wolf, you would understand where he kind of comes from. Anyways, he couldn’t find a way in, so the next thing you know, he backed up and came rushing to the door.
All it did though was just give a loud thump that anypony could hear if he or she were to be outside. Well, the door didn’t budge, so he did it once more, but after the second attempt, there was still no to little progress that was made. He might have broken some small parts of the door or weaken it, but I wouldn’t know… because I’m not a door guy. I’m a fighting, smoking weed, say curse words, be impolite, douche bag, immature, fucked type of guy… in that order to be exact. I think there is a bit more to add to that list, but I’m not that type of guy as I said before.
Anyways, the guy did it once more for a third try, to which he was successful once he hit the door. Once he broke down the door that I was so pissed of at that he broke so much, he then fell to the ground a bit. Also, may I add that if he’s a ghost, then why couldn’t he just walk through the fucking walls if he’s dead.
Fuck it… it will only get worse if you try to make any sense of it. Besides, it’s the same thing with Casper, the friendly ghost. At times he can go through solid objects, but at other times he can touch solid objects, the rules just changes whenever he wants to do so.
It’s better not to ask but to enjoy what you have, because if we just complained about every little thing, then we couldn’t enjoy what we have in front of our face, even if it is a black guy. God… I don’t know where that came from, but… yeah there you go. Anyways, once he gained control again and got up from the ground, all the lights were turned off, to which he was looking for me or if there was anything at all.
He said out loud in the room like a crazy guy if he had problems with his mind, “Knight… Neon… is anyone here!? If so… I need to talk to you for a moment… please! I need your help! It may sound odd at this moment for you do not know who I am, but I do… but I will explain later… but for now… I need your help! Hello!? Forget it…. I’m just talking to myself.”
Then as he was about to turn around, a pony life figure that had a very dark mane that was long as shit, with an evil grin across his face. He also had a black coat, but enough black to see his very dark color mane that was the blackest of all night or ravens or whatever that’s black.
Maybe even more black than a black guy, which I know you’re all upset, but keep in mind… this is fiction… not real… so there’s no need to get into competition with this guy… I had no idea what I said there. It’s like I broke the fourth wall but at the same time… I broke the fifth wall…
I don’t know my own existence anymore. Is this real life. is this the matrix? I’m a robot that is part of a giant computer program… aren’t I? Dam it… I always knew I was a robot! Oh well… at least I can kill someone and get away with it. Be right back guys…
*2 hours later…*
Well I’m back and I killed three thousand ponies… which I then got killed but brought back to life. However, I just found out… spoiler alert… I have AIDS… and I’m not a robot and the matrix doesn’t exist. Oh… right… and the AIDS thing… let’s just say I got tested and lesson learned… never try to fuck a flag pole… but I can just cure myself of the disease later on, it’s not too bad after all.
Anyways, the dark and depressing looking pony said to the guy who was in my house with an evil grin across his face.
He also said it while being in front of my once awesome and majestic looking doorway, “Yes… you are quite talking to yourself dear fellow. You missed me Arctic Aurora?”
Then Arctic Aurora, and yes…that is Misty Midnight’s father’s name.
Anyways, he then said, “You… I thought you…”
Then the depressing looking pony cut him off to which he then said to Arctic, “That I died? That I suffered a more horrible fate then what you did back many years ago of your worthless life. The life that you spent hours and hours trying to figure out the connection and bring our two words together to make one. Well then…you are deeply wrong good sir. You should never expect a world to just be friends with you right away, why you need to earn their trust…and you failed to do so.”
Then Arctic then said to him, “Listen, I know what happened back there those many years ago, but it was a mistake and…”
Then he cut him off once more to which he then said to him right in his face, “Oh shut it Arctic! We all know it wasn’t a mistake. You only did it to save you and your team’s asses from getting killed, which may I remind you, you got you and your team killed for that… and you failed. Now you spend all of eternity walking the Earth, wondering what went wrong and wanting to know how it feels like to live again. To feel pain and to feel love… no wait… you don’t need to… because you still have it with your poor, sweet little daughter Misty.
‘Well then, I’m going to take her away from you, then you will feel our pain, and you will have no choice but to join us and feel like how we feel.”
Then he started to make a run for Arctic’s daughter, Misty Midnight. He ran through the I believe it is called a lintel.
I don’t know, but The movie The World’s End taught me that… I mean it’s kind of like the word Aglet, but sadly we only knew that from a kids show… That one by Disney.
You know, the one cartoon show with a kid who has a tumor in his head shaped like a triangle and a mentally retarded kid who is also a British wizard that is also a nerd and possibly a psychopathic killer. Phineas and Ferb is what I’m talking about of course, because that description is dead on with the show. Well anyways, Arctic ran through the frame of the door, you know for you retards out there who doesn’t know the proper words those critics expect of us to know… ah… see what I did there.
I remember from earlier on from the beginning of the story, and now you can go fuck yourself because now your life is complete. There is no need for anymore things, you have everything in life, you don’t need anything, no regrets.
Yup, and it also gives me a reason to kill you in your sleep while Jeff the killer bangs your mom at night… meh… that joke was weak. Anyways, Arctic ran through the frame and into the dead of night of Stalia.
I mean when you go into town of Stalia in the dead of night, it feels like a ghost town, like it’s been abandoned for years. I mean it really does feel like that and you can’t help but feel sad for it. You feel like that one Indian who has a camera close up and has one tear falling from his cold cheek of casino Indian-ship…
I have no idea what I said but let’s move on. Well arctic was in the middle of town, trying to figure out in which direction that the depressing pony went at, however he couldn’t figure out which direction.
However instead of taking a guess just like anyone would do and not waste time, he simply yelled out into the night sky, hoping for the depressing pony to hear, and apparently all of Equestria as well, “Don’t do it! Please… I beg of you do not do it! Just leave her alone, come for me and don’t take her!”
I just don’t get it, I mean doesn’t Arctic know that he could just run towards the fastest route to the bridge where she is under? I mean he could do that instead of trying to catch the depressing pony. Then again he would be close to capture and kidnap Misty, but at the same time Arctic could defend her.
But Maybe Arctic isn’t that strong? I don’t fucking know, I’m not him, I don’t even hang out with him, I don’t even consider him a friend of mine. I just consider him to be a friendly ally that I clearly don’t give two shits about.
Neither do I care about Misty Midnight or the other kids. I just do not care what happens to the kids at all. I mean I could kill them all for all I care.
Although, not really, I do care about the kids a little bit. I mean I kind of care for them but at the same time not really. I guess I don’t care what they do as long as I’m not involved in it, but at the same time I don’t want them to get hurt.
Well what do you know, I’m just an average American parent… no wonder I’m such a fucking redneck, because you know… that’s what every parent do for their kids. Not caring about them but not wanting them to get AIDS.
Yup… America is just keeps going down the shit hole everyday… good thing I’m not part of it. Well, after a while of trying to hear a response like a fucking retard that Arctic was that night, he didn’t hear nothing but the silence of the night… except for a very un-amused cricket that chirped. In fact the cricket was right next to Arctic and in he was chirping at him.
Then the next thing you know that the cricket talked… although at least it wasn’t like that cricket from James and the giant Peach though, because he was a rich douche bag to me. I mean to me he’s one of those snooty critics you would read on fan fiction sties… I’m looking at you internet… no wait… the internet is the internet… I’m a dumbass. I just need to get diagnosed by a doctor and I can smoke weed in legal states…fuck yeah!
Anyway, the cricket said to Arctic, “Wow… that was very unpleasant and a not a very bright move Arctic. I mean am I supposed to believe that from you Arctic. I mean you’re trying to save your daughter, but instead you’re yelling out into the night sky, hoping for a response from that guy you worked with years ago until the accident happened. I mean, you should be running to her instead of talking to that dead ghost pony. That and I don’t believe that you really want to save her. I need more emotion from you that tells me ‘I want my daughter, don’t hurt her!’ Just… just give me a tear or something… ok?”
Then Arctic said to the cricket, “I don’t even know you, nor do I know what you are doing.”
Then the cricket said to him, “I’m a… washed up porno director. I’m just trying to pretend that I am still a director and direct your life… I know it’s sad. But you got to understand, my wife left me and took the kids. She even killed the dog dam it… she killed the damn fucking dog. She took everything in the court case… I have nothing but this bottle of vodka.”
Then the cricket pulled a sixty-four ounce bottle of vodka out of nowhere and started to drink it all down the hatch. I’m just surprised that a cricket can drink that much, because they can barley drink their own seaman… and shit like that. Also where did a cricket get a vodka bottle anyways?
That and who would hire him to direct a porno, a cricket only has a small dick, so It wouldn’t work for him. Although his wife was apparently a mare and his kids was colt and a foil. So apparently a pony fucked a cricket or a cricket fucked a mare.
I can’t imagine how the mare could’ve gave the cricket a blow job, or a hoof job for that matter, but whatever. I don’t want to know how that is even possible.
Anyways, after the cricket drunk the entire bottle of sixty-four ounce of vodka, he then threw it up all over the ground, to which he then said to Arctic, “Please help me… I’ll suck your cock…”
Then the cricket was knocked out and slept there the entire night. After that random event happened, Arctic then pretend that never happened and started to run towards his daughter. He ran through the town, under the moonlight that was his only friend for it was dark outside.
It seemed to Arctic that the moonlight was his friend in a way, he always remembered as a child that he was fascinated with science, and always dreamed of doing something spectacular, something no pony has ever seen before in his or her life.
He could have done many things, but yet one of them was to go to the moon, to explore the outer reaches of space… to go boldly where no pony has gone before… but of course Luna has done that when she was on her period… I’m sure she was only nightmare moon because she was on her period.
I mean why do you think she was angry… anyways, even though he knew of the tale of how Celestia banished her sister to the moon, that putting a pony on the moon was out of the question. However he had always wondered what was beyond the moon, perhaps another planet with intelligent life on it, and we all know that’s not true at all… because Planet Random is proof of that.
As Arctic was making his way towards the bridge where his daughter slept at night, he stumbled upon a few rocks, and one rock that almost made him trip. However when it did occurred, he kept his balance, so he could keep going to his daughter in time.
Eventually he made it to the box… but he was sadly too late. When he saw that his daughter was gone, his mouth was opened up like a black hole and stood there in shock. He had that look in his eyes that all hope was lost and he didn’t have a reason to live on anymore.
He soon kneeled down, looked inside the box and looked at the newspaper his daughter used to keep warm during the cold winter nights… even though I have no idea how scientifically that is possible, because she would’ve died but apparently she lived through those cold and lonely nights. If I was her, I would have blown my brains out by then, I mean who the fuck wants to live through that, but that’s beside the point.
However, as a tear drop was coming down slowly upon the childless father, he heard a scream… a scream that said, “FATHER! PLEASE HELP ME!”
As soon as he heard that scream, his lovely daughter’s voice, he opened his eyes and jolted up.
He then said to himself quietly, “Misty?”
Then he ran off towards the scream, and Misty’s scream was repeated over and over and Arctic used that to his advantage. He followed his poor daughter’s cry for help to track her down, and as he ran towards the scream, he knew that not all hope was gone. He soon found the depressing pony carrying Misty Midnight on his back while he had his horn holding her down.
Arctic started to sprint faster, however, it wasn’t enough to catch up to the depressing pony, so he gave it all that he had, but sadly his best wasn’t enough… just like that one black guy from The Pursuit of Happiness… well he was black after all… well, soon the depressing pony and Arctic were in the woods, deep within it I should say, and the depressing pony then disappeared before arctic’s eyes.
He then stopped in his tracks, as to where he had just gone too, and he had stopped hearing Misty’s screams for help as well. Then Arctic started to have a curious look on his face, and he started to become skeptic as to what had just happened.
He then slowly moved to where the depressing pony went through and as he got closer, he could feel an uneasy energy around him. Then as he got closer, he slowly put his hoof in front of him, and slowly moved forwards. As he did that, his hoof disappeared as well, and then Arctic knew in his mind what happened.
What happened was that the depressing pony jumped through a portal, a portal that led to the other world. Then Arctic poked his entire head through the portal, and he saw the other world. It was as dark and despair and depressing as he remembered.
It was gloomy as it could be, and it would make a pony sick to its stomach if it were to ever see it. It would even drive a madman to kill him and blow his brains out due to the pure madness of the place... but trust me, this place wasn’t all bad at all, for I’ve been to more fucked up places than this one, and I’m not talking about Planet Random either… I’ve seen true horror before… and trust me… it isn’t pretty.
As soon as Arctic confirmed the situation at hand, he took a step back from the portal and slowly walked back. However instead a look of sadness, he had a look of determination.
That he knew he could get her back without panic, and he said to himself quietly, “ I will get her back Gears… I will… and you won’t stop me.”
Then he looked up towards the sky, and saw all of the constellations within it as well, in which he said to himself, “Where are you Knight… where are you when I need you?”
My Little Pony: Friendship is MagicUniversal Magic: Episode 22: A Day with the Elements
Then of course I was back on Earth, still unaware of the year itself and back in Craig McCracken’s living room, as he was drinking a beer and his wife off to bed.
It was around eleven o’clock at night when I arrived with Neon holding on to me. When I arrived I pretty much fell flat on my back because the portal that Neon opened, opened horizontally towards the floor. After Neon and I came through, the portal closed, and Craig wasn’t shocked at all.
In fact he was rather happy than surprised. I guess he needed a friend… because he calls his wife a bitch now and I can tell he needs someone else… even though I don’t understand how is marriage works but whatever, he does what he wants to, and if he gets divorced, then I suppose he’s free from marriage altogether… and those are some lucky bastards that are free from marriage too.
Anyways, when we arrived and me landing on my back, the TV was off, but Craig had an old record playing an old song while Craig was in his chair drinking a beer. However when I mean by chair, I mean by recliner… because why would Craig have a wooden chair or something like that in his living room, right?
So Craig was sitting in his brown recliner of all shorts… I guess… I don’t know, it’s just a fucking chair who cares about it?
Anyways, when we arrived, Craig said to us, “Hey Knight, Hey Neon, how’s it going?”
Neon then said with a smile on his face as always that you would just want to punch, “Great! We’re here to hang out with you now! I’ve also brought Knight along...”
Then what he said next was in a deep, disturbing voice, “Now we can have the sacrifice and call upon the ancient god of Matlia, and kill a goat in thy god’s honor and we shall watch a thousand virgins burn to death and behead a pig for it is hungry.”
So yeah… fucking creepy, and of course I had that shocked face, but then again at this point I shouldn’t because… Neon is Neon… and there’s nothing I can change about that.
Well, I then said to him, “Neon, what is wrong with you?”
And then when he went to respond, he had a knife and a trapped goat in front of him, ready to slice it open and eat it’s beating heart or something.
Neon said while doing such a thing, “Awwwwww…. but I want to kill something tonight.”
Then Craig decided to put his two cents into the mix and said to us both, “Well, I had everything planned out tonight, and yes Neon, we get to kill something… our brain cells.”
I then asked Craig, “How is that fun?”
Then Craig said with a neutral face, “I don’t know, that’s what I’m expecting what to happened because my boss invited all of us to hang out at his place tonight.”
I then had a little surprise on my face, but not too much, and I then asked Craig, “Your boss… Mickey Mouse… invited you over?”
Then Craig said with a continued neutral expression on his face, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Then I asked him an obvious question that any sane person or being for that matter would ask, “How the fuck does he exist?”
Then Craig said while talking a tad bit fast this time, “I really don’t know. I think it has to do something with putting Walt Disney’s frozen head on a machine, going around eating Cuban children, and then eventually getting shot by Castro and then removing his brain cells to create a mutated Mickey Mouse in a tube or something like that. It’s a really nice bedtime story for kids you know? I’ve even read the book at a children’s library once.”
Then out of curiosity, I then asked, “How did it go?”
Then Craig said with a bit of a smirk on his face, but not an evil smirk, but of a smirk with a good heart, “The kids were running to the door and begging to leave. They’re cute when they’re like that, makes you want to have kids just for that reason.”
Then Neon said while having a four year old kid on the ground trapped under Neon’s hoof with Neon holding a knife… and I will never understand how he did that but then again he’s Neon so there’s a scientific explanation right there for you.
Neon then said, “Kids are also cute when they struggle to survive.”
Then Neon cut the little shit’s throat open and the kid slowly bled to death, while Craig and I didn’t really show any emotion at all. Mostly due to the fact that we expected this from Neon… well me anyways.
With Craig, I’m not too sure why he didn’t react a normal way but I’m sure it’s just the way he is… well enough of that stuff.
Well, after Neon killed that kid, he then said out loud, “Now it’s party time mother fuckers!”
Then the dead boy turned into a dancing robot… that constantly played 70’s music in the background, like disco music or something like that.
Then Neon hopped on the robot, and he looked at us and said, “Come on guys! Hop on the robot train so we can get this party night started!”
Then Craig said to himself, “Sure, I’ve always wanted to ride a robot, but my bitch of a wife won’t let me.”
Seriously, I think Craig needs to seek help or something for marriage, I’m sure sometime or later, him and his wife are going to have an argument, then one of them, maybe Lauren would say she wants a divorce, as all women who gets into an argument also does say they want that.
Then out of nowhere, Neon comes out and he makes a giant coke bottle battle a subway sandwich… but only because he is Neon. Well, Craig then climbed onto the robot, which for image sake, it was roughly about Craig’s height. And Craig also sat upon one of the shoulders of the robot while Neon sat upon the head of the robot.
Then Neon said to me with enthusiasm in his voice in a happy tone, “Come on Knight, what are you waiting for!? For Obama to admit that he’s actually a member 0f the Muslim fate, in which I blow his house up with a bunch of terroist suicide bombing pigs?”
I’m willing to bet that Neon already did that, but as for my response, I said to myself, “Fuck it, why the hell not.”
I then climbed onto the other shoulder of the robot, and Neon then pointed his hoof towards outside while 70’s disco music played fairly loud out of the speakers of the robot which were located on the back of the robot.
Well, Neon commanded the robot, “Go forth sir robot Timmy! Even though your parents will never find your dead body, you shall party on forever! Towards Mickey Mouse’s house!”
Then the robot said with a generic, but cool auto tune robot voice, “Yes robot master.”
Then the robot danced his way towards Mickey Mouse’s house… which wasn’t that long of a ride, but we did had to go through some pretty bad neighborhoods, but luckily we gave the black guys some grape Kool-aid for their troubles… however eventually we ended up at Craig’s boss’s house, which I’m not sure where it was located at all.
Honestly I couldn’t tell you how where it is at other than it doesn’t take that long and you have to go through some bad neighborhoods to get to it.
Anyways, we all climbed off the robot and Neon then said to it as we stood in front of the house’s front porch, “Now ride off into the night dear robot comrade, for the night is young and you must be free!”
Then the robot said to his master, “Yes, I shall robot master, and if you ever need a home, my kind’s home planet is your home planet.”
Well, maybe the robot has false memories or something like that Neon gave it, but after the robot said that, it danced into the night, going wherever it wanted to go. And if you were wondering what it looked like, it looked like a cheesy robot that a typical kid would make up with the square body and stuff like that, but a little bit better looking for that matter.
Well, then Craig rang the door bell, in which he said to Neon, “That was fun, you should kidnap and kill kids more often.”
Then Neon said for no reason at all, “Yaaaaaaay!”
Then we stood there waiting for the door to open and be greeted with Craig’s boss for a few seconds.
Although while I was waiting, I was still trying to understand what Craig had just said… that Neon should kill more kids. What is wrong with this world, what happened to it when I left?
Was it because I left, everything changed, I don’t think so, but why were they like that, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.
Well, soon Mickey opened the door and he greeted us with a smile and he said, “There you bitches are! Come in, come in, I’ve got a surprise for you three on the coffee table.”
Then we walked into the house, and it was a normal house for that matter. Nothing was special or anything, just a typical household you would see just about anywhere.
Well, we saw Minnie dressed up like a slut on the couch, possibly beaten to a bloody pulp by her husband Mickey. Well, we saw the surprise on the counter, and it was cocaine. Now, let me explain, I’m all for that awesome weed and stuff, but as for crack, I would rather not. In fact I had crack once, but it was a bad experience and I rather not touch it again. I had even felt an unease in the room that I wanted to go outside and not be part of this, because I could tell the look on Neon and Craig’s faces that they were a bit excited.
Well, while having the feeling of being uncomfortable a little bit, Mickey then came into the living room and he asked us, “So what do you guys think?”
Then Craig said to his boss, “So let me get this straight here. You want me and my friends to snort cocaine, drink beer, and possibly a beer pong game, hang out, and do some other shit that we would all go to prison for life for?”
Then Mickey said with a happy face on, “Yup, that’s right!”
Then Craig said with a general tone, “Ok.”
Then Mickey said to us, “That’s great! Hey bitch! Get off the couch you whore… and get us a couple of beers while you at it you slut!”
Then as Minnie was slowly opening her eyes while lying on the couch, she licked her lips a bit and I noticed that she had whore makeup on and she really did look like a slut. She even had the slut cloths and everything.
Well, she then looked depressed, chances are from taking pills that were only supposed to be taken by an old guy who had cancer, and she said with a very… VERY… weak voice, “Please, Mickey, can you stop sexual abusing me and raping me… I’m already six months pregnant with triplets. Can you please just let me leave… I just want a divorce.”
Then Mickey got very angry at her, so he grabbed out his whip and started to whip her.
While doing so, he then yelled at her, “Are you disobeying me you fucking bitch! Shut the fuck up and grab us some beers!”
Then as fresh blood was running down some dry blood, she tried her best with all of her energy to get off the couch, but she couldn’t even stand up straight, so she fell and had to crawl.
However that made Mickey even more unpleased, so he grabbed the whip again and started to whip her some more while yelling, “I told you to fucking get us some fucking beers you crack whore!”
Then Minnie begged to Mickey, “Please, why are you doing this to me Mickey? I thought we were married?”
Then Mickey said to her, “You are… to my DICK!”
Then Neon said with a happy face always… as in when doesn’t he ever have a happy face on.
Well he said, “Oh snap! You got burned Minnie!”
Then Minnie asked Mickey, “Please… I need a doctor Mickey… I have cancer and…”
Then Mickey got even more pissed with that and started to whip her some more.
Then he finally said to her while yelling it, “What! You got fucking cancer!? That’s it, get the fuck out of my dam house! There ain’t going to be no bald bitch while I’m the king of the castle. You deserve that cancer too bitch, you always going out and doing it with every dude you see… you don’t even give good blow jobs”
Then Mickey went ahead and grabbed some money out of his pocket and threw some hundred dollar bills on the floor.
He then proceeded to tell her, “Here’s some money for you to get an abortion. I don’t want fucking kids coming to me in twenty years asking for some dam welfare from me or wanting to work for me. Nor do I want to bond with children at all. And whatever’s left over, use it on a taxi or something, you can possibly do that guy as well while you’re at it. Now get the hell out of my house before my homie Pluto caps your ass!”
Then his dog Pluto came out from the dining room with a gun in his mouth pointed at Minnie. He also had a cap on, something you would see on a black guy in the hood. All Pluto did for a response was nod his head, but he did look like a pissed off dog though… you could tell by the look in his eyes.
Then Minnie tried her best to get out of the house, and she was successful, while having a few broken bones within her body from Mickey breaking her legs with a lead pipe for not going fast enough. However what happened to her is a complete mystery.
And chances are, she had her three kids, but she possibly ate them or something like that, I really don’t know what happened to her.
Well after that happened, Mickey then sat down on the couch and said to us, “Have a seat guys. I also apologize you had to see my wife’s face, she was ugly as sin.”
Then Craig said to him, “Don’t they all?”
Then Mickey gave out a soft laugh, and he said, “This guy… this guy here… he’s a keeper.”
Then Neon said to Mickey, from whipping Minnie, “That was the greatest performance I have ever seen! It was grand, it was astounding! My eyes were deep in the story, I loved the performance of the act… Bravo! Bravo! Bravo young sir!”
Then Mickey said with a neutral look, “Yeah, sure, whatever you say green acid pony thing. Now let’s get down to business.”
Then Mickey grabbed the razor and put smaller lines of crack on the table.
Then he gave the razor to Craig and said to him, “You guys get started. I’ll go grab a few beers and play some music to get us going.”
Then Mickey got off the couch and went to grab us some beer. As Craig was about to snort a line of crack, I grabbed his arm and had a worried look in his face. He then looked towards me as to what I was doing.
I then asked him, “Craig… have you… ever done crack before?”
Then Craig said, “Yeah… so what?”
Then I said to him, “Look, don’t do this. I have done crack before, and trust me, it’s freaking amazing what you experience, but it’s not worth it though when you crash. Just smoke a little weed ok, don’t snort this stuff up.”
Then Mickey went ahead and turned some music on his iphone. It turned out to be black music… or also known as rap. Yeah, now that I think of it, I think we were still in the hood.
I mean what kind of person… or mouse for that matter would whip his own wife, give his dog a gangster hat and a gun that he holds sideways, and also have cocaine and rap music on his iphone? Well, a guy from the hood would, and as for that Minnie thing… I don’t know what to say about that. Sure it was a bit disturbing, but really it’s nothing that I ever seen in my life before.
Anyways, the rap song that Mickey chose to put on was Pop That by a bunch of black people.
Honestly, I didn’t really like that choice, because I mostly like the classics mostly, but I suppose it is a good song to do crack with, but why Mickey would choose this song, I have no idea.
Well, after Craig heard the first beat of the song, he turned to me and he said, “Fuck it.”
Then Craig did a shot and snorted every last bit up of cocaine. Then he handed me the razor blade, in which I took it but I had a shocked face on.
I then told him, “Craig! You’re better than this! I mean you have a wife to take care of! You can’t be doing this! I mean do you know what’s going to happen to you down the line if you continue to…”
Then Mickey cut me off while putting the beer bottles on the coffee table and sitting down, “Stop being a fucking pussy and snort the crack you little bitch.”
Then I had a furious look in my eyes, in which I took the razor and put it on the coffee table and said to him, “No one calls me a fucking pussy!”
Then I went ahead and snorted the line of cocaine. Listen, I needed to prove that I wasn’t weak. If you do show you are weak in any way, well you’re fucked in life, and I wasn’t going to show a little mouse that I was weak, and boy do I regret it… kind of, but not really though, but I still prefer weed over crack.
After I did my blow, I handed to Neon and he took a long ass whiff, as in he threw the razor down on the ground as if he didn’t need it and snorted about roughly five to seven pounds of crack that was on the coffee table. Well, after that, he still acted fine and nothing was different about him… makes a lot of sense actually. Well, after Mickey saw what he did, he showed that he was impressed with him and had a smile towards and nodded slowly.
Then Neon picked up the razor with his hoof and gave it to Mickey and Mickey also did the last line of crack that was on the coffee table.
Then after he finished, he looked at us with a very happy smile on his face and said to us, “Let’s go fucking crazy!”
And did we ever go crazy. I’ll be honest here, I have been crazy in my life. All of us eventually have those crazy moments, those crazy moments we will never forget. Hell, I even had those crazy moments where it was complete insanity, and insanity is real, insanity is the only thing that is real in life. I mean sometimes you just need to go insane just to get close to the truth in life.
However, that night that I experienced was the most crazy I ever went in, although as for as insanity goes, that’s different, but we went crazy. We did several things without transitions, we did whatever we wanted to do. We felt that we were invincible and we could take on the world that night.
We just wanted to get loose and have fun, we didn’t care what we did, we did what we wanted, like men. We drunk so many beers it would kill a man, which later we played several games of beer pongs. As I recall I was paired up with Neon while Craig was paired up with his boss. We danced wherever we wanted to and listened to whatever we wanted to, even if it was black guy music and we were white. We played Killzone 7 and did stupid things like played around with a cat that possibly belonged to a hobo or not and possibly had cat AIDS or something like that and had fun with it, and possibly killed it. I don’t know what happened with it but we did something with it, that’s all I know for sure.
However we did what we wanted, and we just went berserk. Hey look, another fancy word right there, I’m sure my southern parents would be proud of me… and then shoot me because I’m doing fancy things and southern people frown upon doing anything fancy. That and I’m unsure why they even use the word fancy… or even fancy free for that matter. Anyways, after going crazy for about an hour or two, the crack within or brains or in other words the dopamine, eventually wore off and we had our normal selves once more, and all we did from there was drink beer.
I was lying on the floor on my back, while Craig was on the stairs having no clue what the fuck had just happened, and Neon was on the flat screen TV for…no odd reason at all. Mickey on the other hand was on the couch, taking a sip of that fine white beer, and if it was white wine, it means he’s gay: White wine, fuck yeah. Well, eventually after a while for Mickey to take a moment to think of what to do next, he finally spoke up.
Mickey said to us all, “Let’s go to my sweet ass jet and we can do some random shit together. I’ve got hookers we can use to bang their big honky asses.”
I then finally sat up and looked at him funny and thought to myself, ‘I never thought I would ever hear Mickey Mouse say that. Then again I wouldn’t expect him to snort crack for that matter. But then again he is a rich white guy which would explain a lot. I mean everyone knows that every rich white guys snorts crack. And as for rich black people, well… they’re usually aggressive, but mostly but everything in gold, have a basketball player for a son, and listen to rap music while he talks about how fine his wife’s ass is and how it bounces up and down every time she takes a step or two… that’s what all black people do… maybe I should say something to him.’
I then spoke up my words and put my two cents into the mix, “What are specifically we’re going to do Mickey?”
Then Mickey looked at me and said, “Go rob a rich white guy place that I know that’s been pissing me off lately, go to some random biker gang bar in the middle of the united states desert that no one knew existed at all but yet it exists, and piss off some agency that no cares about.”
Then Craig said while still on the steps and somehow not in pain, “Yeah, that sounds fine with me, let’s do it.”
Then Neon said while still somehow balancing on the top of the TV, “I want to kill something,” as he said with a smile always across his face that you want to punch so badly and remind him that not everything is happy, just like people ruining your dreams and criticizing you, in which you burn their house down and kill his family.
I kind of sometimes wonder what happened to that critic that I killed long ago when he criticized my work.
Oh well, dust to dust, sunset to sunset, ashes to ashes, anyways, I then said, “Fuck it. I’ve already snorted crack, might as well.”
Then Mickey jolted up from the couch, but with still a neutral expression across his crack addicted fact and said, “Great, now get all of your asses to the car. We’ll drive to the airport and take my private jet. Just let me call my people so they can get it ready for us.”
Then Mickey put his hand into his pocket and grabbed out his cell phone, the hood kind of cell phone of course. It’s one of those cell phones that kids today would say that we’re pieces of dog shit for having that type of phone, because it’s a cell phone that isn’t a touch screen, what is wrong with kids these days anyways? It’s like you just want to teach them a lesson and spank them until the cows come home… and then beat them to a bloody pulp and strangle them in your shower until they beg for mercy.
Then you would want to shove a bar of soap down their mouths and teach them not to curse anymore because they use it every freaking time… and then you set them on fire in your back yard while they are chained up in a dog house.
Yup… and you listen to their cries for help… it’s like music to your ears. Then you pick up the ashes, destroy any evidence, kill any witnesses, and make sure there is no trace left of the kid ever existed. Which would mean you would have to hack into government agencies so you can remove their social security number, files whatever the kid has done to get on the FBI list.
And then if possible, have a showdown with the U.S. Army and the FBI of all shorts… because you know… that’s what everyone does nowadays.
Even the old people are doing it. Anyways, Mickey got onto his phone and called up the guy whoever was in charge with calling up the other people and getting the plane started.
Mickey said on the phone, “Yeah, get your fucking ass you prick, I want you to call and wake everyone up. Me and my friends wants to go to Arizona or some shit like that.”
Then a pause of silence, most likely a reply that none of us could hear.
Then Mickey said over the phone, “Don’t you fucking talk back to me. I’m your boss, now get your ass up dam it!”
Then another pause came, following another comment from Mickey, “Too late at night!? Of course it’s not too late you dumbass! Why the fuck do you think I want to go right now you piece of shit! … Listen to me you faggot, if you ever disobey me again, I will go to your house, skin your pets alive, rape your wife and kids, slit their throats, and set your house on fire. And I will make you watch and kick you in the balls so hard you won’t be able to have kids ever again. Then I’ll go to every dating site and post it all over the world that you have Malaria, so that no chick would ever want to blow you ever again and you will forever live alone just like how god made you useless douche bag that can suck my dick! And always remember, you’re my bitch. Now get your ass off the couch before I go over there and send Goofy over to suicide bomb your house Mom!”
Then Mickey hanged up the phone and he gestured his hand for us to follow him to the car. I’m starting to realize that this isn’t the way I would imagine Mickey Mouse being real and all. I mean he was nice back when I was in Craig’s office at work, I mean he gave him a hug in his boss’s office, so that was nice of him, but now he’s starting to seem like a douche.
Also, I think I could imagine Goofy being a suicide bomber… I mean he does hate Jews after all and was part of 9/11 because the U.S. supported Israel. Anyways, we then went outside, while leaving all of the lights on of course, Mickey really isn’t all for that keeping Earth green and shit.
Well, we all got in the car. With Mickey at the wheel, Craig at the shotgun, and me and Neon in the back.
Well, I started to think to myself that maybe Mickey shouldn’t be driving, so I told him, “Mickey, I don’t mean to be this guy… but I would like not to die here. If anything, believe it or not, I would rather die in Equestria then this sad sack piece of shit called Earth with all of the humans who I believe to be more or less greedy douche bags who don’t deserve much in life because they don’t appreciate a single thing. In other words Mickey, you’re too drunk.”
Then Mickey started the car and gave me a back slap to my face and said to me with an attitude, “Get off my back you pussy ass mother fucker. I can drive well, I’m just a little drunk.”
Then I told him, “You drunk five hundred Irish beers within three hours, and as we all know all Irish people are drunks, along with snorting five pounds of crack. I really think that’s obviously means you can’t drive,” with a little bit of a tone to emphasize what I was trying to say to Mickey.
Then Mickey said to me, “Shut up you… you… donkey ass raping shit eater.”
Well then…didn’t think he would make a South Park reference there… but he did… bravo. Everyone, give a round of applause for Mickey, he deserves it. Well, Mickey then turned his head to the back window and started to back out, but very recklessly I should say. Then the next thing you know, he’s driving down the hood, swerving from side to side, killing civilians.
We even hit a woman and Mickey said while she was slowly dying on the windshield while also honking his horn, “Get off the windshield you hooker! Go back to your pimp and tell him we don’t want your service right now! Can’t you see we’re not in the mood for fucking blow jobs!? I’m pretty sure we don’t want AIDS or cancer or whatever hooker disease you would give us damn it!”
Then Mickey would then proceed to use the wipers to get her off, in which he would be successful, but there would be blood and guts everywhere on the glass… and he said this to every women we hit… even one with a baby in her hand.
However as for the guys, he would see them as lawyers trying to sue him, so he would ram them on purpose and he would say to them, “You’re not getting my money! I told you already Viacom, I own the rights to everything you fucking own! When you see the CEO of Viacom, tell him I’ll see him in hell… then I’ll put my big foot up his ass and give him the middle finger.”
Then he would do the same thing like he did with the women, wipe them off, although we would see jizz over the glass instead of the blood and guts… chances are they were cheating on their wives or girlfriends. Well, we eventually made it to the airport alive… with a few kids, some dead and some alive, hanging onto the back of the car.
Well, we drove up to the hanger and the jet was pretty awesome. It looked a little futuristic, but not too much though, and we all got out and a person gave us a gesture to climb on board. However before Mickey got onto the plane, he pour gasoline all over the car and set it on fire. Then he went up to the person who was telling us to get onto the plane and snap the person’s neck… which I believe it was a flight attended but whatever.
Then Mickey looked at me after I saw what he did and he said to me, “No witnesses.”
Then he turned his attention to his seat and went to sit down and drink more Irish beer. I then decided to just walk away from it, because really at that point, I started not to care anymore what happened. Then again who the fuck cares if Mickey Mouse does this shit anyways?
I mean, sure he’s supposed to be family friendly and all, but really who doesn’t want to do this stuff? No wait, that’s right, only Satanists wants to do that… which reminds me, burn down their building of worship. The reason why I’m noting that is because why the fuck not? I mean, I’m kind of board now and I kind of feel like doing something good so yeah why the hell not?
Anyways, another flight attendant walked in and shut the door to the private jet. Then we all took our seats in our first class area… which was all first class. And of course it’s those generic first class seats, with plenty of space in between seats where you can basically have an orgy or something like that. Well, I sat across from Mickey since Craig sat down with Neon, and we both looked at each other.
We just stared at each other, because I was starting to feel like we were going to be enemies one day. Not anything serious like those other enemies I’ve faced before, but just an enemy of sorts and shit like that. Well, we just continued to stare into each other’s eyes, as if we were playing mind games with one another.
It was like we were starring into each other’s souls, just trying to find our weaknesses.
Eventually, Mickey spoke up after a minute or two of starring at us, in which he said, “Go fuck yourself.”
Then he got up and went to the bathroom.
Then the Pilot started to talk over the intercom and a said to us all, “Ok folks, this is flight 193, destination: somewhere in Arizona. We didn’t receive any specifics because Mickey Mouse, the owner of this jet just said somewhere in Arizona… and he called my mother a whore and I should hang myself if I didn’t listen to him. He also said he was going to kill my kids in their sleep… and sadly he already did that nine months ago when I didn’t give him any drugs because he had thought I was a drug dealer when he was very drunk. He then raped my wife and she now has STD’s from being raped. I have been told that she only has three more months left to live… all because of that bastard mouse. I would rebel against him of course, but it turns out that he brought me as a slave in a county known as Chad. And apparently it is perfectly legal in the United States to do that as long as he referrers me as a “Butler,” even though I’m not his butler. And I would rip the contract that he made for me to be a slave, but he does somehow pay me, because he does have to say that I am his “Butler” after all… and really I have no idea what’s going on anymore with him.
Me, Craig, and Neon just sat there, looking upwarda and listening to the flight captain. We were unphased except for me a bit with a bit of a worried look on my face, Craig had a netural look on his face, and Neon continued to smile like always.
The flight captain contineud to say to us, "Well, we are about to take off here in just a moment, it looks like it’s going to be a clear and smooth trip with no bad weather affecting our flight, so thank god we won’t die. Although I do pray to him every day, saying that I want to be dead, because every day I’m a little dead inside because of my job. Honestly, I would rather take a shot gun and blow my brains out in front of kids. I mean… who wouldn’t want to blow their brains out in this economy? Well, I will advise everyone to be in their seats so we can take off… and have a nice flight. Then after this flight, I might actually build up the guts to blow my own brains out in front of kids and my wife… and then write my wife a note that I will see her in hell, because god knows she has done terrible things. Oh, and our in flight movie is Hancock. I know, I don’t remember that movie either sometimes. You can all go to hell and enjoy the flight.”
Well I’ll admit, he had a good point. I recall every day I wanted to blow my brains out. I mean who doesn’t think of that. I mean if you’re a father with kids and a wife, chances are you are hiding a feeling deep within you that you have a great life and you don’t want one single thing to change about your life.
However really you’re just pretending to act that way until the day you can build up the courage to put a shot gun in your mouth like everyone else does. I think I just summarized the meaning of life. Anyways, we then started to move, and of course the plane took a while and eventually lifted from the ground and off of the runway, and of course just like every flight that anyone has been on, our ears popped and our jaws were in pain due to increase of height and zero gravity. Of course we were in our seats except for Mickey who was on the toilet.
Well, when we were in the air, the next thing we heard was yelling from the bathroom, which was Mickey which he said, “Son of a monkey’s asshole! It happened again! All of my shit just came out of the fucking toilet and now all of my piss and shit is everywhere. The next time this happens, I’m going to smother that pilot’s cat damn it! And I need someone to come and clean this mess up for me. Maybe I’ll force one of the flight attendants to eat my shit. Hey bitch, get your fine ass over here!”
Then a woman flight attendant came over to check on Mickey.
We then over heard her say, “Yes Mr. Mou… OH MY LORD! Is that all of your feces!?”
Then Mickey said to her next, “Yeah, now clean it up by eating it while I fuck your ass honey!”
Then the woman said next, “Oh god no, I will not do such a thing! That’s incredibly disgusting and I’m also a married woman who also happens to be catholic!”
Then the next thing you know it, Mickey says to her, “Not any more you sweet ass bitch! You now worship my dick, now bend over so you may please it and put my cock in your mouth!”
Then, the answer that we all thought of that was common sense that the woman said was, “Ok.”
Yup… just a normal day in society, thanks society for being this low in life. I blame Facebook and Twitter for this kind of shit. Well, as the pilots were trying to stay on course to our destination, we heard nothing but moaning from the bathroom. I mean both Mickey and the chick.
I mean what we heard from the woman while she was taking it up the ass, “Oh yes! Oh yes! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!! I think I’m seeing the gates of heaven now! I’m there! I think I can see Jesus now too! Oh god this is so great! Fuck me harder Mickey Mouse! Stick that big cock of yours straight up my ass! Just stick up there and scramble my eggs! Make me bleed on the inside Mickey! I want to feel every inch of your big dick right up my ass! I want you inside me! I want all of you inside me Mickey! I want you to make me cum so much that I will have a heart attack you fucker!”
And that’s about it, along with a few generic moans and lines that every women says when you try to get them into bed.
Then as for the part where she put Mickey’s cock in her mouth, she mostly said this while trying to deep throat Mickey’s penis, “oglflapfn sjf sifnsif skfskfns ddmfn.”
Yeah, she had a mouthful of dick. Fun Fact: This is the sound what your mom makes when she has my cock in her mouth…did I burn you or what?
Well, aside from your momma jokes, it was another hour or so before Mickey finally came and cleaned up and stuff and finally got out of the bathroom.
And as Mickey was whispering to the woman of how much he wants to do that again with her, Neon went up next to me and he said to me, out of complete randomness, “I have a rooster cock and a illegal Mexican with me. Do you want to bet with me and Craig on who would win a cock fight?”
Then the illegal Mexican, that Neon magically brought on board, said to Neon, “Mr. Neon, where’s my penny you promised me if I raked your leaves? I would like to become rich like the rich white people and so I can help and feed my starving family and get them across the border so they may live the American dream.”
Then Neon randomly grabbed out an axe and chopped the illegal Mexican’s head off, and then the illegal Mexican danced like a chicken and he was still alive. Which that makes actual sense because since… I don’t know, but it makes sense to me.
Well, anyways, Neon then asked me, “So then, do you want to bet with me and Craig?”
Then I said, “I’ll pass, but maybe next time though, because I have my own cock that fights like a pro and gets all the woman.”
Then Neon said, “Yeah, well my cock can beat your cock in a blink of an eye.”
Then I told him, “My cock is a big and long cock. You could not beat this cock, and if you would put this cock in your mouth, it would be a very thick cock that you couldn’t shallow it.”
Then Neon said, “Well my cock makes all the women go in awe and even cum in their panties when they see it.”
Then I looked at him funny and asked him, “Why would women cum in their panties when they see your cock? It’s a fucking chicken and not your cock, which I’m sure is bigger than mine but only because with you and your experience on Planet Random.”
Then Neon said to me, “One: you’re right about the planet random thing. Two: Women are chicken fuckers.”
Then I said, “Yeah… get out of my face.”
Then Neon told me, “Ok, talk to you later cock sucker.”
Then Neon walked away and I thought for a moment to myself, which now actually is more true. You see, the only reason why I even put up with them, is because not only is the universe is forcing me to be friends with them, but more or less their pawns in my game. You see, since I’m not living on Earth anymore, I no longer have to play the game of life, where you have to struggle to be the best and if you don’t, you kill those who do succeed or bottle all of those emotions within.
However, I still play a game, and that game is like Chess. Right now the game is between me and my enemies, mostly at this point in time, it’s TF.
Although enemies do eventually come around, but for right now it’s mostly TF. With all of the friends that I have met and allies that I have made like TK, Factory Dash, Wolf, Neon, The Mane 6, Celestia, Luna, and ect. They’re basically pawns in my game. Since TF is my enemy, they are my friends and they seem to help me out, regardless of them being my true friends or not, as long as they don’t rebel against its master, they are my pawns.
Now, of course you have to play the game of chess right, in which you make sure you use your pawns wisely, and eventually you get on top and you get what you want. Now if you play it correctly, your pawns can still be alive and you can use them to your advantages in the near future.
However my point is that for right now, all of my friends and allies are my pawns in my game, and eventually I will rise a level higher than them and will forget about them.
However until that time comes, which it all eventually comes down to that, I only have very few pawns, but the army is slowly building up as the more I struggle to survive the game. And right now, my most valuable pawns are my friends and TK.
As for Factory Dash, she always seemed to have a hatred against me, as if she wants to rebel against me, and if she does and she cannot be saved, then why bother keeping a pawn that disobeys your commands, regardless if he or she doesn’t even talk to you for that matter and mostly talks to TK.
These pawns that I have right now is pawns that I cannot afford to lose, so as long as I play the game right, as long as I win, they might live, but they will be forgotten, just like everyone does.
Well, Mickey finished talking to the woman, so he went to sit down in front of me and take another swig at his only friend: Liquor.
As he was drinking, I told him, “How can you look at yourself in the mirror each and every day?”
Then he put the bottle of beer down and looked me right in the eyes as he told me, “I don’t, that’s how I keep on living. How do you think murders and serial killers keep killing others, because they never look in the mirror, that’s why. As one mad man said who was a serial killer, ‘If all of mankind had one neck, I would choke it.”
Then I looked at him like he had just said something that was freaking amazing and blew my mind, but yet wondered why he had said that at all, which I then asked him, “I thought you were a drunken douche bag?”
Then Mickey said, “Yeah, I am, but sometimes the beer gets to my head and it makes say weird things… you fucking prick.”
Then I said to myself as Mickey went back to drinking, “Could this get any worse?”
1 HOUR LATER...
“What the fuck are you doing Mickey!? Why did you kill the fucking pilots!?”, as I said as the plane was about to lose engine failure and the dead bodies of the pilots were bleeding from the head and slowly decaying away from the world.
Mickey then said to us, as being his drunken self, “Those pilots were trying to drug me dam it.”
Then I yelled at him, “They were trying to restrain you from opening the plane door so you can take a piss!”
Then Mickey said to us as Neon, Craig, and I were standing in front of the door that leads to the pilot’s place of work in a plane, “ One of them was trying to give me some black guy African disease or something that black people get.”
Then Mickey took another swig at his sweet Irish beer as I told him, “He was trying to taser you because you forced all of the flight attendants to masturbate to death! Which oddly enough half of them did and the remaining half, all you did was chop off their heads and wrote a sign on them that says: God’s Not Dead! Which I actually get it kind of because in a way that’s an atheist joke and I kind of knew where you were going with the whole chopping off the heads thing.”
Then Mickey yelled out to the heavens, as he held his beer high and mighty in the air, “Then I’m the smartest person in the world!”
Then he put it down as he was still sitting at the pilot controls and trying to fly the plane.
Then I told him, “No you’re not! You’re a drunken idiot who has an IQ lower than a retarded Jew... or Prince Blueblood for a better idea for that matter.”
Then Mickey told us three, “Ahhh… shut the fuck up you assholes, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
Then I yelled at him once more, “We have less than twentythousand feet before the plane drops! Are you even listen to me!? Mickey!”
Then Craig put his hand on my shoulder and he told me, “We’re all going to die in here… but at least it’s not next to my wife.”
Then I told him, “Your wife really did trust you and made a vow to never love anyone else but you and you only as a mate, and you’re not even giving her any respect are you?”
Then Craig looked surprised as his eyes widened and he told me, “We made a vow?”
Then I told him, “Yeah… like a wedding ring or something like that symbolizes that you will always love each other and not have an affair with anyone else.”
Then his eyes were still surprised and he told me, “I have a wedding ring?”
Then I sighed and hanged my head down in shame as we were all going to die.
I then said to the three of us, “We’re all going to die here are we? This is sadly my end… a fucking plane crash… and I’ve been through all of this shit before. How do I get myself into these situations and get out of it alive, I don’t know. I guess I was just lucky… but not this time around… unless… Neon!”
Then Neon said, “Present!”
Then he actually gave me a present, which I was curious and looked inside of it and it was a copy of the complete collection of “Hitchcock’s presents” show that aired like way back in the day.
Then Neon asked me, “You get it Knight? A Present… Hitchcock’s presents? You get it? Here’s a bomb for you Knight.”
Then Neon gave me a bomb, which was going to explode in thirty seconds, however I tossed that aside because it didn’t matter that much.
Well, as I put that on the ground, carefully of course because it could explode if not done gently, but I said to him though, “Listen Neon, can I ask you of something? Never mind Neon, can you save us three and teleport us out of this plane dear friend of mine?”
Then Neon said to Craig and I, “Nope!”
Then he teleported out of the plane and left me Craig hanging. Then I said to Craig, “It was nice knowing you Craig, but in all reality, I would rather have died with Lauren Faust than you, because at least she made MLP and it would be the nice one. I’m not saying you’re not nice, but to be honest with you… you’re just one fucked up person in a way Craig.”
Then as luck as you would know it, me and Craig was teleported back to Neon, in which we saw the plane heading near us and was about to crash… along with the bomb that was onboard but who cares. We weren’t on it except for Mickey, but he was an asshole anyways.
However I looked to Neon and said to him, “You saved us?”
Then Neon said “Yup, this evil cymbals monkey told me to do it.”
Then Neon took out a classic looking evil monkey with the cymbals toy, in which it said to us, with a high pitched voice, “A Thousand eyes! A Thousand eyes! Burn burn burn! We the flame rise! We all fall down! Kill the unclean! Kill the unwanted! Purify them and make them puree as purified white snow! Let the angel purify the lands and kill the unclean and the unwanted! Let the angel guide you to the light! Let the angel purify you to the heavens so when the day the apocalypse comes, you all will be saved! Ah ah ah!”
Then the Monkey disappeared in front of our eyes, to which I said, “I think that monkey isn’t in the correct universe.”
Then Neon said out laud, for some odd reason, “I killed the monkey’s parents!”
Then I said, “Riiiiiiiiiiiight.”
Also, to be specific where we were at, we were in Arizona, but sort of that rich part of Arizona, where all the rich people live or have homes there for the summer, and the neighborhood that we were in just happened to be where one of Mickey’s stop is at, by the way, after the monkey disappeared and everything, the plane crashed right in front of us.
Thankfully we were a safe distance away from the crash, but somehow the creator of Facebook, whatever his name was, was living in that where the plane crashed. Perhaps it was a time to celebrate of enjoyment, because… well… it means that people can actually be free from the cursed site and they have their souls back once more.
Oh who the hell am I kidding? We all know if Facebook and Tweeter were to go down, everyone will think it’s the end of days and judgment day is upon them, in which riots, suicide, cannibalism, rape, murder, incest and what not would happen because their precious Facebook is down. Then again it kind of reminds me of Brook from The Shawshank Redemption when he got out of prison. When he got out, he didn’t know anything other than before he was put in prison… and that’s what all people know nowadays… Facebook.
They would be wondering where’s real life’s poke option, or the like button for that matter. Then the next then you know, they carve their names into some wood saying that they were there and hang themselves… that’s all Facebook users will eventually do if they actually see real life.
Anyways, I then said as the plane was burning through the night sky and the flames were reaching as tall as a tree, “Well then… I guess Mickey’s dead. It looks like we all can go home and…”
Then what do you know, Mickey comes out of the wreckage and walks through the fire, slowly walking looking like a badass I’ll admit, and comes out with a neutral expression across his face.
Then he came up and told all of us, the most important thing we will never forget that night as to what he said to us, “What the fuck happened to you dick weeds?”
It’s certainly meaningful, because let’s face it, Mickey’s like the Terminator from Judgment Day. Anyways, Then we heard a cry from the house that was just destroyed. We all took a look into the distance and we saw a figure on his knees, crying mostly because his house was destroyed.
He was crying out loud, “Oh god why!? Why did this happen to me!? I didn’t do anything bad! Dam it, those Mormons were right! They told me if I didn’t join their side, a terroist was going to come and blow my house up… but I didn’t listen to them!”
Then he was talking and slowly turned his head towards us, and when he saw us, well at least from what I could guess, he was happy to see someone instead of no one. Perhaps he wanted a hug… a nice, friendly, warm hug… and chances are Neon would’ve ate his brain.
Which actually would have happened, in fact Neon told me this later of what he would’ve done if Mickey hadn’t taken care of things, because he said he wanted another human soul for Neon Hell… yeah. Well, the figure then started to walk towards us, and as he got closer, we could make out who he was, and he was the creator of Facebook.
When he saw Mickey for the first time, his face looked like if he had just seen the light.
So he got onto his knees and said to him, “Oh my god… it’s you… it’s really you! You exist! Now I can have my wish!”
Then Mickey said as he was pulling out a gun, “No you won’t.”
Then Mickey pointed the gun in his face and blew his brains out. Well then… I would never have thought Mickey would have done that.
Well I decided to brush it off and asked Mickey, “So then, where should we go from here?”
Then Mickey said to the three of us, “We go to the house right next to us. This is the right place to be to break into this guy’s fucking house.”
Then I asked him, “Why do you want to break into his house?”
Then Mickey responded to me, but with a bit more of a tone within his voice, “Because this bastard has been loaning money to the charities that I fucking despise dam it! Not only that but he owes me money from the time I bailed him out of bankruptcy back in 2008 so he doesn’t look bad and powerless in front of the cult!”
Then I asked him with a confused look on my face, “What cult?”
Then he told me, but with a normal tone as usual, “None of your fucking business, now follow me inside.”
Then We walked up to the house that was not even a yard away from us and we stood in front of the door. I looked at it and wondered how we were going to break in quietly, because chances are these rich people had security guards, although it didn’t look like it. Probably because it wasn’t too big of an estate, but it was big enough for a rich douche to live in. Well, as I was trying to figure a way in, Mickey went ahead and broke the window and hopped on inside.
Then he went around to the front door and unlocked it from the inside. Then I was a bit surprised that no security system whatsoever was installed or went off that matter, but then again it was better that way. However, I do like a good challenge now and then. Well after Mickey opened the door for us.
He said to me, “You could have just used the front door dumbass.”
Then I told him as we were walking in along with whispering since we didn’t want to wake anyone up, “Yeah, well normally breaking into a house doesn’t also happen this easy. Sometimes you need to think smart with your options with breaking and entering into a house.”
By the way, I’m surprised how no one woke up to that explosion… than again they were all old people, so it made sense.
Then Mickey said to me, “Shut the fuck up and go look around or something.”
Then I asked, “Well what are you looking for?”
Then Neon came up to him, “Is it a dead body you’re looking for, I have plenty you can have to rape with.”
Then Mickey said, in the nicest tone I heard him talk in since I first met him, “No thank you, I’ve got enough dead bodies to rape thank you very much.”
Then Mickey went off on his own, but he never answered my question though, but I didn’t bother since he just really was a douche. He was starting to become more of a douche than the one kid from Black Butler: season two.
Well I then asked Craig as Mickey headed upstairs, “So then… what should we do?”
Then Craig said, “We can wait outside and play Minecraft on my phone.”
Then I looked at him with a face that said, ‘Are you fucking serious?’
Surprisingly that face expression was short, wasn’t it? Well, I then said to Craig after sighing, “Sure…. although I think we should all play. Neon can you give me a phone so all three of us could play with him or something like that has Micecraft installed on it?”
Then Neon said, “Sure!”
Then he made two phone appeared, one for me and one for himself. I then looked at my phone and it had a bit of a blood stain on the back of it. I then asked Neon, “Is this a dead man’s phone?”
Then Neon said, “Yup! I mentally killed with my mind Jesse Jackson and Chris Rock and took their phones. Then I illegally installed Minecraft onto it, but don’t worry about the FBI now. I gave all the FBI in the area AIDS… and you have a dead black guy’s phone, so you won’t be a racist!”
I then sighed once more and then said, “Let’s just go play Minecraft.”
Well, we all went outside and sat down on the grass as the fire from the plan still burned, so we had a nice little warm fire to keep us warm which a nice touch I might add. However, what Mickey was doing was going upstairs very quietly, in which he was in a long dark hallway.
He then quietly walked to the last door at the end of the hallway, as if he knew who’s room that belonged to, however he made a slight squeaky sound from his shoes which made a noise. It didn’t wake up the owner of the estate, but it did wake up a little boy who was only but four years of age, something I recall of my very first memories of life. He heard the squeaky sound from Mickey and was awoken by the sound. He was a tad bit frightened, but he wanted to be brave so he climbed out of bed and walked to the door. Then he opened his decently sized door and went to check what made the sound out in the hall way as he rubbed his eyes so he could see better. However, what he saw was Mickey Mouse.
He couldn’t believe it, he had to rub his eyes again just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. After he did so, he still couldn’t believe that Mickey Mouse, a character he loved so much on TV was right in front of his face. In his heart, he was happy as he could be. He couldn’t wait to talk to Mickey, for it was his dream to meet Mickey in person.
He also wondered why Mickey was there in his house in the first place, but he didn’t care, all he wanted was to have a friend, for his parents never did wanted a child. In fact, the little four year old boy was a failed abortion, but the parents decided to keep the kid anyways, so their bloodline could continue on well into the future.
The boy’s first reaction was to run up to him and hug him, and that’s what he tried to do, but sadly Mickey stopped him and looked him evilly in the eyes, and he said to the little boy, “If you so much lay a finger on me, because if you do, the last thing you will ever see is my knife going into your fucking Chest! I’ll string you up by your intestines and cut your stomach open and wrap it around your throat so the stomach acid burns through. I’ll take a pole and shove it up your ass and out your mouth .
‘I’ll open your rib cage apart with my bare fucking hands! I’ll take your heart , and stick it at the end of the pole so it looks like a shish kebab. You better fucking pray to god, better yet, run and don’t waste your time, because god won’t be able to stop me from what I’m going do to you… I will fucking end you, you little shit!”
After that little statement, the boy slowly walked back into his room, without a peep out of his mouth. He then turned the lights on and grabbed his favorite teddy bear, in which he then went into a corner in his room and silently rocked back in forth while sitting in the corner.
Well then… Mickey what the fuck have you done to the poor kid? Oh well, shit happens as I always say. Well, Mickey went ahead to the room at the end of the hall and silently opened the double doors. When he did so, he saw the owner of the house along with his whore of a wife who had big boobs that were hanging from her chest.
They were so huge they anyone would just want to fuck those titties, but chances are they were breast implants, so put your dicks inside your pants and get your imagination away from big boobs. Well, then Mickey slowly walked up to the owner, who I didn’t know the name of at the time, but for right now he’s nameless, but he seemed to be a very important person in this world.
Well, Mickey walked up to him and whispered while he was sleeping, “You can’t fucking stop me. You can’t stop my group from winning. You call me a dreamer, a worthless piece of shit who said I couldn’t do it… well fuck you. Fuck you and your cult group, I even fucking helped you and this is how you repay me? I will get my revenge on you, and you’ll see my wrath when I rule the throne. You will see the mistake that you have made when the day you told me to go fuck myself. I’ll see you in hell.”
Then Mickey silently walked away from the bed and walked towards a bookshelf that they had. He then put his hands on the third rows of books on the shelf and ran across his fingers across the books. He then eventually stopped on a certain book in the middle of the row, in which he then slid his fingers towards the top of the book and went to grab the book out.
Then the book triggered a lock, in which the book case moved away from the wall and revealed a hidden passage that lead to a set of stairs that led to a hidden room within the house.
He then went down in the darkness, as he felt that the darkness embraced him, and walked down a spiraling staircase. As he did, he got closer to what he had came for, which was a book of plans. He saw the book in the room on an empty table. He went towards the old wooden table that was filled with dust and hadn’t been used in years. He then took his hands and grabbed the book, and he stared at it for a few minutes, in which he had an evil look in his eyes.
Then he quietly said to himself, “Time for a Mickey World Order to happen.”
Then he went back up the stairs and put the shelf where it needed to be. He then stepped out of the room and headed back downstairs as the boy continued to be scared for the rest of his life. He then went out the front door and locked it as to make it look like no one ever broke inside the house…except you know… the broken window, but apparently Mickey’s logic is that no one ever thinks of the broken windows.
He saw us and headed straight for us, which we were all sitting down on the grass playing Minecraft on a dead man’s phone… except for Craig of course. I recalled we were building a kingdom, except Neon kept wanting to kill all the villagers and somehow made a robot appeared which then lead to a massacre of lions. I don’t know how Neon did that but he did that.
Well, I looked up away from my phone and saw Mickey coming towards my way.
When he came up to us, I asked him, “You found what you were looking for?”
Then Mickey said, with a bit of a pissed off face, said to the three of us, “Sure, whatever the fuck you say you piece of dog shit that should be burned alive. Follow me, we’ll steal this guy’s car and we’ll go to a bar that I know of.”
Then Mickey started to walk towards the garage of the person’s house we just broke into.
I then looked towards Craig with a serious look on my face and asked him, “Seriously Craig, how do you even put up with this guy when you go to work every day?”
Craig then said to me, “I smoke weed while working… how do you think I get ideas for my show... and put up with my wife.”
Then there was a guy that did that classic cymbals whenever a pun is made, which most likely was made by Neon but he didn’t say anything at all to me about that thing.
I then said out loud, “Wait… that’s meant for puns… that wasn’t a freaking pun. Why did that even happen. Why does these things happen!?”
Then Mickey backed out of the garage, damaging it as a whole and possibly even waked up the people in the house due to the noise that was made. Then Mickey proceeded to turn the car around in which it faced the still burning plane which was also on the road that led out of the neighborhood.
The Mickey honked his horn three times and rolled the window down and yelled at us, “Get your mother fucking asses in the car! We have five minutes before the cops come! Don’t worry though about the evidence, I put some crack next to a homeless sleeping black guy I randomly found in the back yard which was most likely used for the black guy to choke the guy who lives in the house while he’s taking a shower!”
We then didn’t take a minute to think through about getting in, mostly due to the police and I’m sure Lauren doesn’t want to find her husband in jail in Arizona, or have a Criminal record for that matter.
Especially a car that was black colored… ok I get it now. Well, we all then quickly ran towards the car, as Craig took shot gun and Neon and I took the back seats and got into the car.
We then sped off into the night, while Mickey drove to get to the bar he knew that he was taking us to for the night. well, if you wondered about the police thing, the police were on their way and you could hear the sirens through the night in the far distance, but the owner of the home woke up.
He rushed out of bed and put his light blue rope on and went to check on what was the racket, and saw the dead body.
He then said out loud, “Dam it Doby! You’re supposed to be in your dog house until the morning when you come inside the shower with me to choke me!”
Then that poor little kid from earlier that Mickey scared for life came out and asked his dad a question, “Can we cancel our trip to Disney World daddy? I don’t want to see Mickey Mouse.”
Then the father had a discouraged look on and then kicked the kid in the stomach and told him, “Who the hell are you little shit!? Get out of my house you dam parasite!”
Then the cops finally came over quickly as possible and stopped immediately in front of the son and father.
Then the two police men of the one police car quickly got out and the driver asked very quickly, “What’s going on here? Canadians? Farting? Farting on people’s faces? Sing a song about fucking your uncle while farting in each other’s faces and making a huge deal about it and make it into a movie called Asses of Fire or something?”
Then the father pointed his right hand index finger towards the boy and yelled at the police, “Yeah! This hoodlum here broke into my house and stole my car and possibly gave it hoodlum AIDS or something to it and sold it for drugs! Then he possibly farted on my black guy’s face that I illegally own in which I also give weed to him every now and then!”
Then the driver of the police car said, “Well then, you’re coming with us hoodlum.”
Then the two cops took the boy’s hand and dragged him off to the car to bring him to jail, however as the boy was being dragged off, the boy begged his father, “Please daddy! Don’t let them take me away from you! I love you!”
Then the father said, “What do I look like to you! A fucking pedophile!? Because I certainly don’t have hundreds of kidnapped children hidden in my basement as of right now who I’m keeping hostage until their parents give me my ransom, but in the end I’ll cut out their tongues and harvest their organs while they’re still alive and eat their beating heart in front them! Get that little shit out of my sights officers, while I go check on the kids I have hostage in my basement that I certainly don’t have in my basement!”
Then the other police guy who was riding shotgun…. who was black I remind you said to the boy, “Come on kid, let’s take you to jail . I know a lot of men who will want to the beat the living shit out of you cause you're going to be the weak one.”
Then as they were putting the kid in the car and putting the hand cuffs on him, the driver asked the black police officer, “Hey George, I've been seeing a lot of those guys in the jail when they rape each other. Why do men rape each other in prison? Are they like gay or something?”
Then the black guy responded with, “I have no idea. I guess they’re just lonely and need a hole to fill, but then again why would they be gay? I mean I wouldn’t rape another man just so I can have sex, I would just jerk my dick off instead. Now that I think of it, that’s a really good question.”
Yes… it truly is a great question…also known as the question to the meaning of life, like what is the meaning of life, aside from the other thing I said before. Along with my other explanation, I’m pretty sure it also means getting raped in the asshole in prison, actually that makes more sense when you think about it. Anyways, the cops drove off and the boy was probably be beaten up to a pulp in prison or something, I don’t know.
I mean does anyone really care about the boy anyways, I mean we all knew he was going to get beaten in prison one way or another. Anyways, with me and the guys, we were well into the Arizona desert and it seemed like we were in the middle of nowhere for a while. I mean all you could see was rocky mountains, a couple of trailer parks and run down places that could be possibly be haunted my demonic sprits.
However the night sky was pretty cool though I’ll admit, I mean it was well away from the light pollution that big cities usually make, and it was quite beautiful. Well eventually I started to see a small building that was well alive in the distance, along with a few neon signs of course. And along the way I could see some construction being built, as if the area was undergoing construction to build places so the desert wasn’t like a wasteland or anything that seemed dead. Well we eventually got closer and it was the bar that Mickey mentioned a while back.
There were mostly biker gangs in there, as you could tell by the many rows of bikes right next to each other, side by side. There was a few cars of course, but not too many and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a family friendly place either. However, it’s not like I give two shits about that, I mean I cuss and make racist jokes all the time along with killing whenever it occurs.
In fact I’m willing to bet I need to do it every day or else I’ll go completely insane and kill everyone that I know. Well, Mickey went up to the east side of the building and parked right next to the other cars and we all got out of our respectful doors of course.
I got out of my door and went to Mickey, in which I asked him, “Why are we at a bar again in the middle of the Arizona desert?”
Then Mickey said to me while still having a pissed off look in his eyes, “Shut the fuck up and get drunk you dead beat douche bag.”
Then he walked inside the bar and while he did that, Craig came up to me and told me, “Come on Knight, stop worrying and let loose a little.”
Then I told him, “You should be worried too… I mean I like to party myself, even if it is in the middle of the desert, but something seems off about him. He was a douche on the plane, but after he came out of the house, he seems to be more aggressive now.”
Then Craig said to me, “I didn’t notice anything.”
Then I told him while rolling my eyes, “Of course you didn’t, I’m willing to even bet you don’t even notice your wife at home.”
Then she Craig told me, “Lauren’s my wife? I thought she was just a prostitute I paid to live with me so I don’t get lonely at night. How did I do Neon?”
Then Neon came up behind us, and Neon was also seemed to be dressed in college type professor clothing, along with a pair of glasses and a mustache.
He said to Craig, “Well… it seems to me that you still need work on your jokes Craig. I suggest you rape a donkey bigfoot and shove a ball point pen up a duck’s dick, while finding the ancient armless midget with a spatula that is fucking an Elmo doll.”
I then said to Neon, “How will that work?”
Then Neon said back to me, “Why… that is the most randomness of all jokes of all history! How dare you not know such a thing Knight! You have sinned!”
As Neon was talking to me, he slowly came up to my face and looked dead straight into my eyes with a fury look burning within his pupils.
Then I said, “Can you please get off of my balls, you’re starting to hurt me a bit.”
Then, as Neon was hanging onto my black leather jacket, he yelled out loud towards the sky with his head turned towards the sky of course for some odd reason and yelled out, “Release the giant Chicken!”
Then I heard some classical music playing from the helicopters and I saw four black helicopters that comes out of nowhere without me even noticing carrying a giant chicken, in which they released the ropes and the chicken landed on the ground with a loud thump.
The Helicopters then flew away to god knows where. Then the chicken stood there, with retarded crossed-eyes as I stood there with a gaping open mouth for I was confused while Craig saw it as a normal thing.
I then asked Neon, “Why is there a giant chicken Neon, and how is there a giant chicken anyways?”
Then Neon said, “You didn’t believe in the power of randomness Knight, you didn’t know such an artifact existed, to keep the spirit of randomness alive, I had to release the giant chicken. If I didn’t, the spirit of randomness would die and me and my powers would be no more, for the sprit feeds off of the knowledge of randomness and those who have random powers.”
Then Neon walked up to the chicken about thirty feet away from us, and slowly looked up to it. He then said to the chicken, “Oh great Mother Clucker sprit! I have called you out tonight, for a non-believer is among us! But do not be threatened, for he too has seen the power of the randomness stone! He is merely but a pupil of mine, and I shall make sure he is taught the ways of the randomness, just like the great master of the council of Planet Random! So I ask you chicken, for you to keep the spirit of randomness alive tonight…. BE FREE!”
Then the chicken looked towards the city we were from, which was a few thousand miles away, but you could see it from a distance, and the giant chicken ran towards it to make random stuff happen.
Then as the chicken was running away, Neon said to us, “Let’s go in then and I’ll kill even more people in the bar then what I did last time.”
Then I decided to just follow Craig who still felt like everything was normal and decided to not question what had just happened.
As me and Craig was about to enter the bar, Mickey came out with a pissed off look on his face and said to the both of us, “There you are dam it! Where the fuck have you two been! Get your fucking asses in here and get drunk or else I’ll rip your nuts off, gouge your eyes out, and replace your eye balls with your balls, so the only thing you see is your balls you gay fags!”
Mickey then walked away to get drunk some more, as we proceeded into the bar. I also forgot to mention that the name of the bar in the middle of nowhere was called Rocky Moon Road.
It was lit by a sign in front of the building with blue and red neon colors, along with other various colors I suppose. We then entered the bar, and it seemed to be fairly busy, there was even a live country music band playing. I had no idea who they were, but I was willing to bet they singed nothing but their wife and children dying in a car fire, then raping someone and making a black racist joke.
Ahh… yes… making blacks feel uncomfortable, the American Dream. Right next to owning your very own living, breathing illegal Mexican to work in your yard and an Asian to do your math problems or anything that deals with numbers in general… all the American Dream. Take it in folks, it’s here to stay. Anyways, me and Craig decided to sit next to Mickey at the bar, while Neon was off doing whatever he wanted to, and most likely killing his victims in the bathroom.
In fact, I could hear faint screams coming from that bathroom saying, “Please help me, a green Technicolor talking pony is killing me with a toilet plunger. Then he is doing a dark reflection ritual in which my dark side is raping me though the mirror.”
Yeah, it’s easy if you pretend those are just dark forces that are voices in your head, constantly telling you to kill those all around you and you know you’re going mentally insane.
Well, Craig ordered a good ol’ fashioned American beer, because if you didn’t, the bar owner who was a redneck would have come out with a shotgun and told you, “Get out of my fucking bar you dam foreigner! First you take our jobs, and now you want to ask for a dam non-American beer! Burn in hell you non-American piece of shit, god would spit on you!”
And how do I know this, well it happens like every few minutes and so far it has happened three times since I had walked into that bar. Well, I also ordered just a regular beer and Mickey was right next to me. He looked like he was still pissed off, and I was starting to wonder what was going on with him. I stared at him, just wondering what going through his mind.
I then asked him, “Hey Mickey, Can you tell me why did you have to rob that house or is something that me and other guys don’t know about going on with you? I mean, if I had to guess, it’s because you’re a crack dealer and he owed you money, am I correct?”
Then Mickey slowly turned his head like I just said the most offensive thing that anyone could say to a person. He slowly, creepily turned his head while I saw his eyes as they turned red, like he wasn’t a giant talking mouse at all, but instead a pissed off giant talking mouse that might or might not have a death note and made a deal for “Special Eyes” with a demon.
That or he could be the Devil, either guess seems to be correct.
Well, Mickey then said to me, “How about you shut the fuck up before I shove this bottle straight up your asshole and make you suck a rattle snakes dick as I’m shitting on you?”
I then said to him without giving any reaction whatsoever, “I don’t think male snakes have dicks… I think… I’m not sure because a kid keeps changing the Wikipedia pages all the time. I guess his ghost is still alive, I suppose he must troll people on the internet for all of eternity. But I was just asking a question is all.”
Then Mickey responded back with, “If you really want to know why I went there, you’ll see later in the future. You’ll see what I will do along with the rest of this world. Besides, I wouldn’t be dealing with drug dealers, I’m my own drug dealer. In fact, I have a cartel called ‘The Rats and Mice.’ And so far I’ve killed five hundred thousand law enforcements who tried to stop my business.”
I then said to him, “Well, it would make sense that you’re not black, but then again you’re not Mexican neither so really you can’t be a cartel leader.”
Then Mickey said to me with a calm tone, “That’s just racist.”
Then I said back to him, “Since when did you care about when things are racist? You’ve beaten up Minnie like she was a prostitute, which I think she was, I’ve always have been suspecting her of being one ever since I was a kid. You’ve basically do tons of crack, and most importantly, you’re a douche bag and an asshole.”
Then Craig popped in between out little conversation and he told me, “I can tell you when Mickey started to care, it’s when he rated out a group of black guys for being a group of successful black people to the cops. Get it… he rated them out because he was a mouse!”
I then said to Craig, “How is that a pun? I don’t get it?”
Then Mickey said to me, “It’s just a pun, trust me, you’ll get used to these bad puns, like every other little shit that comes up to me with one whenever I go to Disney World. When they do talk to me, I kicked those little shits and beat them to a bloody pulp, then I kill all the witnesses so they won’t shut down my park… those little shits.”
I then said to him, “You have a lot of problems don’t you?”
Then he said back to me, “Of course I have problems, I’m mother fucking Mickey Mouse you son of a bitch!”
I then decided to ignore Mickey because it started to look like to me he wasn’t the best of guys to be around with. I mean I’ve been around with a lot of assholes, but he’s the most of an asshole that I’ve ever met… and he seems like a cool guy to be with.
Sometimes I wonder how he acts when he’s high or doing it with a chick he paid for in a dirty Motel that’s infested with AIDS. Although he seems to have problems with kids, so that’s possibly why he’s always upset. He had to pay for child support, just like that one time when I saw Cloud Cops and a cloud was arrested for not paying support.
That was a dam good episode, he went around, threatening the police, he even took forty two clouds hostage and even killed them all. Then a purple Alicorn and a blue Pegasus sued him and he was raped by other clouds in prison. I wonder what if the color blue raped the color red sometimes… well. I’m sure we all know the answer to that one… black.
Anyways, I’m getting off track here, aside from that. I ignored Mickey Mouse, but instead saw what Craig was drinking. Although I couldn’t help but get distracted by Mickey because he had just finished drinking ten beers and puked up. Then he had his own puke in his hands and started to lick it up, but then he puked again, but this time his puke was actual beer. Then he licked that beer up again, in which he threw up actual puke, in which he continued to do the same thing for a while.
It’s like a never ending beer cycle…you could have free beer for the rest of your life. Anyways, aside from Mickey distracting me, Craig had finished his American Beer and ordered a drink called, ‘Jizzing Blue Berries.’
I then decided to ask what the fuck was Jizzing Blue Berries. It was blue… but that’s all I knew about it.
I asked Craig, “Hey… Ummm… what the fuck are you drinking Craig?”
Then Craig said to me, along with a smile on his face, “Well, if you must know, I’m drinking what the kids are drinking nowadays… Jizzing Blue Berries!”
IT’S MORGAN FREEMAN TIME!
Well… shit… I suppose the white guy also needs me to even be a spokesperson for a commercial. Although I do wonder, are we getting sponsors for this story, because I hope so because I want my black guy money so I can spend it on black guy pancakes at a Denies.
Or maybe go to a black guy Waffle House and rape some poor black chick there. Or maybe go to black guy space and talk about black guy space thorough some black guy helium or whatever.
Anyways, let me read my lines.
‘Introducing the new drink from the makers of “Juice n’ Juice,” “Pink Meth,” and “Monster” now with 500% more crack… I mean white stuff… yes… white stuff… that’s what it is and certainly not crack, brings you… Jizzing Blue Berries.’
And now here’s what the chorus are singing, “Jizzing Blue Berries! They jizz all over your mouth. They taste fresh with a cool sensation. It will make you fly and reach the sky! It will make you cheat on your wife and do some illegal shit! It’s Jizzing Blue berries! It jizzes all in your mouth with each sip you take!”
Now here’s my line once more, ‘Get Jizzing Blue berries today either in can, bottles, mini cans, mini bottles, six pack, twelve pack, twenty four pack, keg, or the “On The go Edition” of the drink now at your local supermarket or gas station that you would find in the hood.’
Wow… that’s stupid, but at least this drink does make you feel like a Black Guy. So uh… yeah… the black guy is down for now.
BACK TO KNIGHT
Wow… now I want to get some Jizzing Blue Berries, but aside from that, what I said back to Craig, because certainly that didn’t happen of course, but you know how black people are… always doing something illegal, but yeah.
Well I said to Craig, “That sounds awful Craig. That sounds like a gay thing.”
Then Craig said to me, “Yeah... but It’s the new thing that kids are drinking and everyone is doing it.”
I then said to him, “Yeah, well I still have the Petersons on my side, right Petersons! Petersons?”
I then turned my head and the very old husband and wife were having happy faces on while listening to the juice box while drinking Jizzing Blue Berries, as the husband guy said to me, “Sorry Knight, but even we’re drinking it.”
I then squinted at them and grunted a little bit. I then got off of my chair and started to beat them to a bloody pulp, in which I killed them by strangling them, repetitive punches, and cutting their throats.
I then left them a chair as someone said to me I’m living the American Dream and I said “That’s enough with the reference joke.”
I then went back to sit in my chair and decided the best thing to do was to not question anything and wonder about anything, so I just minded my own business from that point on until we left the bar.
Well, I sat there for a while, wondering my own business, when Neon came out. I suppose he was done with killing anyone who was in the bathroom because you could tell by a toilet plunger covered in blood was holding the door open when Neon got out. I’m not sure how he killed them with a toilet plunger, but then how do you kill a midget with a toilet?
Well, Neon walked out and walked towards the bar and said to the redneck bartender, “May I have one non-American beer please?”
Then the redneck bartender grabbed out a shotgun and pointed at him and said to him, “You dam foreigners are all the same… asking for non-American beer, WELL THIS IS FUCKING AMERICA DAM IT! NOT NON-AMERICA! EAT LEAD YOU MIGRANT SON OF A BITCH!”
Then Neon said with a smile as always, “Oh boy… lead!”
Then as the guy shot his gun with a blast that could be heard from miles away, Neon ate the bullets as it was shot towards him. The guy fired three rounds, but Neon ate the bullet one after the other with no harm done to him.
Once the guy saw him eat the bullets, the redneck bartender was scared. His eyes were wide as they could be and he started to shake with fright. He then slowly started to lower the gun and he took his right hand off the gun and pointed at Neon.
He then said these very words as he started to crack up a bit, “Yo… you not from here aren’t you? wh… wh... who are you? My god… Illegal Mexicans are starting to fight back…. THE END IS NEAR EVERYONE! WE ALL HAVE TO GO NOW BEFORE THEY KILL US ALL!”
Then everyone started to yell and scream as they ran out of the bar with terror in their hearts.
One of people in the terrified group even said out loud, “WHY ILLEGAL MEXICANS WHY!? WE PAID YOU A PENNY TO CLEAN OUR SHIT!”
Well, everyone then ran out except for me and the guys along with one bald guy and a biker gang who was possibly raping some chick out back that was black, because you know… biker gangs are fags… because someone said it already and it must be true.
They are annoying biker gangers because all they wanted was attention. Then again, they kind of deserve it for being total douche bags and everything but you know…whatever. Anyways, as everything died down a bit, the bald guy who had a very nice suit on along with some black leather gloves and a bar code tattoo on the back of his head.
He was white of course, so don’t go and start a riot black people, you’ll get your turn sooner or later. Well, the guy looked like he had seen some real bad shit in his day and all he did was just sigh.
Then he said to himself while getting up, but not in a rush though, “I really do hate this bar out in the middle of the desert. Why the fuck am I even alive anymore?”
Then the bald guy slowly walked out and went to his car peacefully until Mickey Mouse said to us all when he exited the building, “Alright guys, let’s go kill him.”
Then I asked him, “Why, all he did was sighed and said something and left. What’s your problem with him?”
Then Mickey said back to me, “He looked at me funny, that’s why, and all those who look at me funny are going to get his or hers brains blown out by me. Now get your asses moving so we can follow him to wherever he’s going. I hope he’s going to his family so I can make his kid watch as I burn him alive and eat his black heart for looking at me funny.”
Then Craig said to him, “Wow… you’re really dark Mickey. I mean, I never thought I would say this but… you’re fucked up in the head.”
Then Mickey told him, “Shut up you fat bastard.”
Then Craig said with a very quiet voice, as if he was sad be he wasn’t, “Ok…”
Then Mickey said to us, “Now let’s get going so we can go and rape someone later on tonight.”
Then Mickey finished his drink and went outside to get the car ready.
Then I said to Craig and Neon with just a look on my face that says, ‘I’m done with life. I’m just done with it all. I’m just going to give up and going to go kill myself by hanging myself and possibly jack off at the same time so at least I have the best orgasm you could ever have while doing so. Besides, I’m sure that’s what everyone wants to do when they die. But the problem is though, George Carlin was right, there’s just too many ropes to choose from nowadays. I mean just look how many types there is.
‘Hell, there’s even too many ways to kill myself. What’s the best way to kill myself, but at the same time, scar some kid’s life for the rest of his days while I’m hunting him at night, blaming him for my death so I can make him feel bad about himself. Then he’ll say he’s a mistake and do some bad stuff like shoot up a school. Then he’ll kill all the bullies he ever came to known in his life and then… and only then… he’ll become a man and face his problems… by shooting up the place.
‘Because obviously, that’s what society does now and it’s acceptable. Then you have a bunch of debates and a second Civil War happens. It’s all about who’s right, Coke or Pepsi, that’s what will tear this nation apart, because Lincoln predicted it in his… bible… for he said in thy bible, “One day, this nation shall be torn apart by two sodas… and we will obviously know that is stupid because Coke is way better than Pepsi.” Then… everyone nukes each other for it.’
You know, that type of look. Anyways, I then said to Craig and Neon, “Well… let’s just get this over with already, or else he’ll probably kill us and sell our bodies on Ebay or give us away as slaves to Tim Allen… god I hope no one ever has to go through that… because no one wants to be in a Tim Allen movie, especially a Christmas one.”
Then Neon said to me, “But I’m not finished with my lead yet, and my side order of human organs… and Tim Allen is on my black list and is going to Neon Hell soon.”
Then I asked Neon with a questionable look on my face, “What is Neon Hell Neon?”
Then Neon disappeared, but then reappeared in front of my face in a very creepy style and said to me with a creepy smile, “Why… it’s a place where everyone goes when they start to rot in the ground… and when they disobey me or don’t pay their debts to me.”
I then asked Neon another question, “What do you mean by debts?”
Then Neon said to me, “Why… you’ll soon learn… I’ll soon teach you one day how to collect a soul for Neon Hell, you could even be the manager of my souls if you wish. Would you like to be the manager of my souls that I collect Knight?”
I then thought this long and hard… he he… long and hard… and I came to my conclusion… well at least it’s better than Neon singing a song that makes shit fall out of nowhere. I then said to Neon, “Maybe… I don’t know… I’m a lazy bastard sometimes and don’t feel like doing shit.”
Then Neon cheered while he raised his hooves in the air with glee in his heart, and not the dumb ass show Glee you teenagers. Clearly your parents should have killed you off years ago when they saw you watching the show Glee. And as for the the adults… why are you even watching TV at this point?
Anyways, Neon said while being extremely happy, “Yay! Maybe!”
Then Mickey Mouse kicked down the door while Neon was talking with a pissed off mood and such and he yelled in the bar while holding a shot gun to us, “Get your asses in the fucking you monkey ass fuckers or I’ll blow your brains out now!”
I then said while everyone was getting off of their fat asses and towards the van or car or whatever it was, I’m not sure anymore, “Ok, enough distractions, let’s go.”
We all then got into the vehicle and surprisingly the bald guy didn’t move yet. Apparently… he was doing something else… but I wasn’t sure what he was doing but he was on his phone.
Possibly some sort of sex line, because that’s all the rage these days.
WHAT REALLY WAS HAPPENING…
Well, once again, the black guy is needed to save the day. What the white bald guy was talking on the phone was this. He was talking to a white guy client and it sounded strangely enough like Vader’s voice.
Anyways, enough white guy distraction, the bald guy was saying this, “Huh… huh… so you want me to kill him. I can do that, for a fee of course. Ok… and you also want me to also have a gun that says, ‘Sponsored by PETA.’ That sounds like a little bit going too far, but I can do it. Just have the money ready when I kill him.”
Then the White guy disconnected the phone call and put it back in his black suit that is made for a white guy. Now back somewhere in… wherever that PETA leader guy was at the last time we saw him, he just got off the phone and put it down back where he found it.
It’s sort of like those old telephones from the 90’s… but obviously you white people don’t remember it, but black people do because they all watch old black people sitcoms late at night.
Well, what the Vader PETA guy was saying after he put the phone away, “Yes… it is all going according to plan… I shall get my revenge… brother!”
Then that Sith Lord guy from last time with a robe on and tired eyes on his face came walking in. He didn’t look like a happy white guy either, just like every other white guy I ever met in my life.
He then said to the PETA guy, “Shut up! Do you have any idea what time it is in the fucking morning !? My god… people are trying to sleep in this neighborhood!”
Then the PETA guy said back to him in a calm voice, “But I’m doing what you told me to do and…”
Then the Sith Lord guy said while cutting him off, “No! I told you to get some contractors so we can build a giant ball in space that destroys planets and what not! That’s what I told you to do so we can get revenge on whoever you’re trying to get revenge on damn it!”
Then the PETA guy said back to him, by the way, what a rude white guy, “Doesn’t that seem going a bit too far? I mean I just want my brother dead… for trying to kill me at that PETA conference from before… I don’t see how a giant Death Star is going to help me kill him. It’s sounding like you’re using me and…”
Then once again, the Sith Lord guy cut him off to tell him, “Shut up! Besides, that’s not the point here! The point is what in the fuck are you doing this late at night!? Who the hell does work in the middle of the night that isn’t done normally in the middle of the night!?”
Then the PETA guy said back, with a hesitation in his voice, “A black guy who goes to night school? And you can’t see him because it’s too dark out at night?”
Then the Sith Lord guy said back one more time before he ended the conversation, “You’re a fucking racist man. Go to fucking sleep and keep quiet, I don’t want the neighbor’s cats waking me up at night and trying to rape me while I’m sleeping.”
Then the Sith Lord guy stumped his feet on the ground as he walked away to go back to him room and to dream of white guy dreams.
And that’s that… you white people can go back to whatever god awful thing you were doing before the black guy came to save the day… me… Morgan freeman….
BACK TO KNIGHT…
It’s just a complete mystery who he was talking to that night. Anyways, I then saw him put his phone back in his suit pocket, I believe it was his left, but couldn’t see well since it was somewhat dark out. But the stars was pretty though, that you have to admit.
Anyways, he then started his engine and put his left signal on to turn his black car around to get back on the road to wherever he was going to go to. Well, Mickey then pressed his foot against the gas pedal, however he made a mistake, he had the gear in reverse.
Instead of going forward, we went backward along with hitting a row of motorcycles that belonged to the group of bikers inside.
When Mickey noticed he hit something, he said to everyone inside, “It’s probably just a kid we ran over.”
Than Mickey shift the gear into the correct gear and turned the car around to follow the guy. Meanwhile, the gang of bikers saw what we did to their bikes and heard the noise from inside.
They ran outside as soon as they heard something going wrong with their bikes and of course they were pissed. Well, it’s not like they’re getting revenge or anything later on in some other adventure… but they will, if you couldn’t tell, I was being sarcastic and foreshadowing something that you and I both knew was going to happen once I mentioned the gang of bikers.
Anyways, we followed the guy, but he didn’t seem to really care if we followed him. We just followed him through the dead of night with our headlights on the maximum setting. Every now and then we would pass a car going in the opposite direction, but for the most part, the road was dead and if you wanted to, anyone could easily rape someone, then start rapping a hippo with a kitten’s dick while humping the color green… don’t ask how that’s possible but I’ve seen it happen before with an Illegal Mexican and a talking rat.
Well we followed the guy for about fifty miles or so before we saw a building with an electric fence from a far enough distance. I then knew that he was going there, in fact we crossed a restricted line… called Area 47… I wonder how many areas there are.
Possibly sixty-nine of them. The first one starting in Uranus and ending in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Well, the guy then started to slow down, but we soon stopped because we knew if we went too far, we would have been caught and possibly get shot on sight.
Well, that’s what I thought, but the others thought differently. Mickey stopped because he decided to smoke some weed. Craig thought we were stopping because we followed the wrong guy, but got out anyways to take a piss on a rattle snake.
With Neon… well, god knows what was going through his mind.
NEON’S MIND:
Neon was a troubled pony with mental problems, but sadly no one cared. Instead, when the gang all stopped, Neon was thinking of elephant sneaking into someone’s ass, in which the elephant was to find Atlantis in this person’s asshole. Then he would take all of the Pepsi lover’s souls into Neon hell and spare the Coca-cola lover’s souls since Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi.
Then he went on to think about giving the color Yellow AIDS, then he telepathically gave the entire country of South Korea AIDS, along with thinking of making a slice of Pizza suffer by eating his entire family. Then a thought came to mind after that, in which he thought about a sock puppet taking his master hostage during a show for kids at a local library one day and asking for crack.
Then he thought about a guy who stands by the bananas and turns into a demon while melting someone’s face off.
Then he jumped to an idea of a bat bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, in which it is the Asian’s only weakness except for yellow cars, along with their faces melting off and Batman dropping to kick some sweet ass. Then he encounters Client Eastwood and have a throat cancer off. Out of the blue, he then starts to think of a Playstation four commercial about two squirrels, one black and one white, playing while the black one accidently eats the system and dies, but then drags his friend to hell while melting his face off.
Then he thought about a person being stuck in a flooded road, but then turns his head and sees a bunch of beavers floating on dead bodies while making a dam out of those dead bodies.
This concludes today’s episode of “The Mind of Neon.”
Next week, we’ll take a look what Neon thinks while on the toilet while watching a mother and a baby get raped by a dingo.
The Mind of Neon is also brought to you by “Blowing Up Russia” the new game from Hasbro. Now, there’s Blowing Up Russia, On The Go Edition, buy it now or we’ll hunt you down and chop your balls off.
And if you don’t have balls, we’ll surgically give you balls and then rip them off and force it down your throat for not having balls.
BACK TO KNIGHT:
I feel like some British guy just did a narration. Oh well, must be the wizard powers and what not.
Anyways, after Mickey smoked some weed and Craig got back in the vehicle, Mickey then said while having those red eyes after getting high, “Alright, here’s what we’re going to do: Knight you research what this place is. Craig, I want you to be ready to drive when I give the signal, because I’m going to go in and kill this son of a bitch who looked at me funny. Neon…you do whatever talking Technicolor ponies do.”
Then Neon said, “Got it!”
Then Neon disappeared, but after a few seconds later, he reappeared with a deformed dead guy in a real twisted position with his neck all bent up and shit. Then Neon gave me the dead guy’s laptop so I could research. I’ll admit, Mickey was really serious about this and came up with a plan… I’m shocked.
Anyways, I opened the laptop, it was still on so I didn’t have to get a password or anything. I then went on Google and researched the place, “Not a Hitman Service.”
I’m not joking, that’s what this place was called other than Area 47. Anyways, I didn’t get any results, but I did find some key words while looking at what came up and I had to go to the deep web.
Well, I then installed “Tor” to access the deep web… although honestly the deep web isn’t that deep, it’s no deeper than a pussy… cat... get the joke? Anyways, I looked it up and found the main website.
According to the website, this was a hitmen service and the bald guy that we saw was the top hitman for hire. And his name was agent 47… but he wasn’t from Hitman or anything… just happened to be a bald guy who had a tattoo of a bar code on the back of his head that happened to be a hitman… what a coincidence.
Well, I told the guys what I found and when I clicked off the site, there was an ad the popped for a site on the deep web called, “The Pink Meth.”
Craig then said, “What’s The Pink Meth?”
I then said to him, “I don’t know, let’s check it out I guess.”
Craig was expecting something funny I suppose, because he had a smile on his face until he saw what came up… which happened to be a bunch of nude photos of dumb chicks of what they posted on Facebook.
Then Craig said, “This isn’t pink meth.”
I then closed out of the site, but then Craig asked me, “What is the deep web anyway?”
I then told him, “It’s a place where 99.99% of it is nothing but snuff porn while the remaining .1% is other stuff that no one gives a dam about, now let’s get going so we can get this over with.”
Then Mickey decided to put his comment in with the whole deep web thing and he said, “I’m not surprised, I own 89.99% of those snuff porn websites on the deep web anyways. Now let’s go, this guy must pay for looking at me funny.”
Then out nowhere, Mickey grabbed out a shotgun and made that clicking sound. I’m not an expert on guns so I’m unsure of what that’s called.
Also, Mickey had a look that says, ‘I’m a mother fucking boss and I can do anything because I’m a badass nigga.’
Then Mickey kicked his car door open and stepped down out of the vehicle. He then walked towards the front of the vehicle and made an arm gesture that was saying to follow him.
Neon and I got out of the car while Craig moved up front to the driver’s seat. I got out and closed the door and walked alongside with Mickey. We then started to work to the front entrance, or at least the gate that was being guarded by one person.
We got up to him and as soon as we were close enough to him, Mickey pointed the shotgun at him and with an angry face said, “Open the gate or I’ll blow your brains out!”
Then the guard had a smile on his face and he said, “Okay eh…”
Then the guard pressed a button on a control panel in front of him and opened the electric gate so we could walk into the building while no one was around noticing this happening. Mickey and I had a confuse look while Neon always kept his smile, creepy face on as always.
Then a thought hit me, in which I said to the guard, “Wait a second here, are you a Canadian?”
Then the Canadian guard said to us, “Yes I am eh. Have a nice night to you three eh.”
Then Mickey stood there while having a look that said he was thinking for a moment, until Mickey continued to have an angry look and said to the Canadian guard, “Well I want something else from you!”
Then the Canadian guard said , “Okay eh. What do you want eh?”
Then Mickey hesitated for a bit, until he said “I want both of your kidneys so I can sell it on my Black Disney Market!”
Then the Canadian guard continued to have a smile on his face with no thought of fear whatsoever popping in his head. Instead, he grabbed a machete from nowhere and made a huge cut in the middle of his body without making a sound at all and took both of his kidneys straight out. He then gave it to Mickey and once Mickey took the kidneys, he collapsed and bled to death along with having no kidneys of course.
Then Mickey tossed the kidneys over his shoulder and said, “Meh…I don’t need them. I’ve got plenty of kidneys from kidnapping midgets in ‘It’s a Small World’ ride.”
Then Mickey proceeded to continue walking towards the building along with Neon as well while I stood there, trying to make sense why Mickey threw those kidneys.
Then it hit me…Mickey is insane. What I mean by that is he wants things, he wants everything, however he wants a challenge. He wants to work hard for his things, as in not what had just happened which the Canadian guard gave his kidneys by his own will. In which case, he didn’t want them because it was too easy. So I’m guessing he gets bored pretty quickly.
Then again, my life is full of insanity, however what make me different from him and Neon or everything else except for TF of course, is that me and TF or both insane gentlemen while the rest are simply insane within their own reasons.
Anyways, we started to walk towards the building and no one was around, it almost felt like a trap at some point, but it just turns out that they have really lazy guards or very poor security.
Then again, if they hired a full team of security guards that are Canadians, I could imagine it would be easy to break in here. It’s like breaking into Canadian For Knox.
SOMEWHERE THAT IS A CUT-AWAY JOKE:
A white Canadian is walking towards Canadian Fort Knox, in which case he goes up to the gate and the guard that guards the gate.
He then says to the guard, with a normal Canadian tone, “May I steal all of your gold please eh?”
Then the guard says, “Ok, just bring it back when you’re finished eh.”
Then after hours of taking the gold to his dirty white van that had children’s blood all over it, it took him six hours to take all of the gold.
When he was finished, he closed the back door to his van and he says to the guard, “Thanks a lot eh. Can I stab you eh?”
Then the guard says with a smile as always, “Sure eh.”
Then the Canadian stabs him a few times, in which the Canadian guard collapses and dies of his wounds as the other Canadians drives away in their dirty white van.
BACK TO KNIGHT...
That sounded like a decent cut-away joke… I’m going to kill whoever’s idea was that in the first place.
Anyways, as I was saying, it would be easy, heck I’m sure it would be easy to take over Canada with a sign that says, “I’m going to take over Canada.”
Then that person would get Canada because Canadians are too nice. Besides, they don’t even have a military, although I’ve been told they had one in World War II, but I think that’s a myth. Besides, all Canadians are is just French people who live in the woods, that’s all they are along with just Canada existing in any case we decide to nuke it out of boredom. Anyways, we walked towards the main door, which was just surprisingly just a door that you pushed and that was it.
It wasn’t even two doors, it was just a single, metal, rusty door that had that handle you push on to go inside. And then that brought to my attention that not only Canadians were guarding this place, Canadians designed it too… heck there wasn’t even any windows in this place… then again… perhaps I’m over looking something here. Now that I think of it, it could have been made by… CANADIAN MONSTER WEREWOLVES!!!
I have no idea what those are that I just made up… continuing… Mickey pushed on the door and we all steeped inside, although unlike the outside with it being dull and grey, the inside really looked pretty awesome. Granted, where we entered through was like one of those side doors that are used for emergencies only type of stuff like a fire.
Well, we weren’t seen because we were behind a big computer that you would see in the 80’s. However, there was plenty of people around, some bringing coffee to others or their bosses, some locating wanted criminals, some being hitmen and preparing to leave for a contract they accepted while others doing paperwork. As for the atmosphere of the place, it was mostly dark on the outer regions, such is where we were at, but the light shined on those who were working. There were some door ways that I saw that looked like rooms for the hitmen people, along with a big computer screen in the middle of the room.
Then there was this really old fat guy who had black hair and a mustache that wore a brown suit. He seemed to be in charge of the agency and he looked pretty busy. I could see his lips moving, but couldn’t hear him as everyone else was talking as well in the room, but he had a head piece on and looked like talking to some others on the other end.
However, Mickey was only concentrating on one thing, and that was the guy who looked at him funny. I spotted the same guy we saw at the bar as well as Neon did, but Mickey saw him first as soon as we walked in, but I didn’t because I couldn’t help but look at the place. Well, the bald guy was walking towards one of the rooms, in which he then did so and we lost sight of him.
I then took the opportunity and asked Mickey, “So what are we going to do now Mickey? It seems like we can’t kill him without getting noticed.”
Then Craig started to speak up surprisingly, as he wasn’t at the car and said, “Maybe we could hire him as a hitmen and ask him to meet us at a location that no one is usually at this time of day, like in the middle of the desert.”
I then slowly turned my head with wide eyes, asking myself why the fuck did Craig leave his position. Then again I don’t care because I wasn’t planning this, but I had preferred that night going smoothly so I didn’t have to do any work or have blood on my hands, because god knows how much blood I already have on my hands just within my past.
Some was intentional, like a joke while others was forced because they were trying to kill me or other reasons. That and some of my allies in the past have died and now their blood is on my hands because I was the one who was the leader and led them to their deaths. Granted, I wasn’t a wreck when that happened like so many others or broke down, but I just simple paid my respects and moved on with life.
Anyways, I then turned my head and asked Craig, “Why aren’t you at the car?”
Then Craig explained to me, “I saw this cool looking bird and I drove up to it, but then I hit a mountain and the car exploded.”
I then said to him in a whisper, “The nearest mountain is like miles away from us!?”
Then Craig said back to me, “It was a cool looking bird…”
Then Mickey said to the both of us, “Shut the hell up the both of you. Now here’s the plan, I’m going to take the leader guy of this company or whatever they fucking call it, hostage, in which I’ll exchange him for the hitman.”
I then said to Mickey, “That is the stupidest sounding plan I have ever heard of Mickey, you should be ashamed of yourself.”
Then Mickey said as a comeback, “You should be ashamed of yourself for being a pussy.”
Then Mickey then jolted up and yelled out loud to everyone in the room, even those hitmen could hear it the other rooms as well, “Alright! Listen up! I’m taking your boss or whatever hostage and I’ll blow his brains out in ten seconds unless that guy that I met at the bar not too long ago who looked at me funny comes out, in which I’ll blow his brains out instead! !!...”
Then the boss guy said, “We’re like fifteen feet apart… how are you taking me hostage?”
Then Mickey was frozen still, as if he was stiff as a board. He had a worry look on his face as if he had just been beaten at his own game, but yet does not want to admit that he has lost.
Then Mickey said while continuing to hold up the shotgun and pointing at the boss guy, “Uhhh… ummm…. you see… uh… uhhh… ummmm……. mmmmm….. it’s because…. scientifically…. uhhh…. ummmm….. FUCK THIS SHIT, WE’RE RUNNING!”
Then Mickey ran towards the door, as we ran towards the door as well. We ran out to the middle of the area while still being within the gated area, however we then stopped as we had no idea what to do since Craig somehow destroyed the car miles away within seconds.
As we ran out, I overheard the boos guy telling some guards, Canadian guards I should say, to go after us. We only had a few seconds before they caught up to us and we were in a panic.
I then said, realized something I should have asked Mickey before, “Mickey, do something magical and shit and get us the hell out of here!”
Then Mickey with an angered look while yelling at me, “What the fuck do I look like to you knight!? A fucking magical cartoon character!? Knight, I’m a fucking giant talking mouse that was made in a lab by the very same people who brought Walt Disney’s frozen head back to life while putting his head on a robot. All he does is wanting to fucking kill and eat Cuban boys and kill all the Jews. I also do crack, made my dog hold a gun in its mouth, I rape women, what the fuck do you expect from a giant talking mouse like that!?”
He had a point, what did I expect from that type of giant talking mouse. In fact what did I expect from anyone that I met, that they would be perfectly sane and would be seen as perfect in a bunch Grammar Nazi’s eyes?
That’s right we’re bringing them back into the conversation here…Grammar Nazis…I will give fifty Jews for the low price of shut the fuck up.
Anyways, aside from a quick joke, we had no idea what to do, in which case I then quickly looked at Neon who didn’t seem to be bothered by any of this and maintained his smile this entire time.
Then again, he is insane, so of course he would be able to do that almost twenty-four/ seven.
Anyways, I then quickly looked at him, in which I asked him quickly as I could, “Neon… please get us out of here! I don’t feel like dealing with this bullshit right now! Find it in your heart Neon to do the right thing and take me home, for the love of god I’m fucking tired as it is Neon. Do you not know how long and fucked up my day has been Neon…. all thanks to you!”
Then Neon said with a smile as usual, “I have a shire up my ass… and he’s suffocating.”
In which case, after he said that, Neon teleported me and him back to Equestria while also teleporting Craig back to his home while leaving Mickey alone to deal with the Canadian guards, but don’t worry, he got away easily. Since the guards are Canadian, they let him go and gave all of their kidneys to him as well…and then somehow raped those kidneys.
Well, when Neon teleported me and him back to Equestria, we were standing in the middle of Stalia in the middle of the night. I don’t recall what time it was, but it was pretty late and I just wanted to go home and relax and sleep.
As I was walking away without saying a single word to Neon due to the fact that I was so glad it was over, but yet was so exhausted, I didn’t feel like saying another word to him until I had my sleep.
As I was walking away, Neon said to me, “I’ll see you in the morning buddy!”
Then Neon saw a comet in the sky, in which he flew up and gave it AIDS, or on this case, comet AIDS… and it spread AIDS throughout the galaxy from the moment on and legend has it… you could breath in space… but you would also get AIDS. Thankfully it wasn’t Super Childhood Cancer AIDS, because that’s the worst kind of AIDS… just hovering towards the moon and start to hump against your own will while Jesus and a Zebra watches you while drinking a martini. I hope I don’t have to experience that ever again.
Anyways, I was walking towards back to my home all alone in the dead of night, but I couldn’t look up at the night sky and feel like someone was there watching me… as if they had loved me.
However I also had a feeling that the universe was watching me as well, just like I said in the past many of times before, but I was starting to feel that they had plans for me, that there was a reason why certain words couldn’t be heard from me or teleporting to different places without me knowing it beforehand. It seemed like a mystery to me, but eventually, just like everything in my life, it would eventually come down to be resolved and almost dying.
Who knows, maybe I will have to fight this universe… as it will also try to kill me, but that is only a feeling from within. Aside from that, I walked towards my house, as I wasn’t that far away from it where Neon teleported me at, so it was only a few yards away from me. I saw that the lights was still on in my house through the windows, so it was either Wolf with Molestia, TK, Factory Dash, although she barely even talks to me or visits me, or someone broken in…or Neon because god knows what he does.
I mean, one second you see him doing something and the next second you see him humping a robot with cheese up his ass. I’m starting to think even in his own birth he was fucked up, in fact, yeah, Neon told me a story of how he was born in five seconds. Like he jumped out of the womb and started to do a dance or something and then set fire to the doctor or something while the parents didn’t give two shits about it because they give up on kids.
Honestly I don’t blame them because I would blown my brains out if I had Neon as a kid… but then again I am also random at times… but at least I’m not that random. I’m that insane, I’m just an insane gentlemen like TF is, I am insane, but I also act like a gentlemen at the same time.
In any case, I didn’t feel like it was a break in, because I didn’t see a reason why there would be and if it was TF he wouldn’t have left the light on, in fact he would have just waited outside for me to open the door so we could walk, then fight to the death. Well, at least his old self that is, but that will be explained later.
Well, I went to my door and raised my hoof to open the door, in which I turned the knob and opened the door to which I found TK and Factory Dash sitting on my couch, looking at various maps I couldn’t make out, but chances are it might have been Earth and since I hadn’t seen a map of Earth in a while it might have passed over my head, that or another universe of some sort but I doubt it though.
Well, when I walked in, TK and Factory didn’t even raise their heads or even looked at me, all they did was just ignored me.
However, when I walked by TK, TK said to me, “I was hoping you would have been here, although I had a feeling that you were ok.”
I then stopped in my tracks as he was talking and when he finished, I said, “What are talking about? Of course I’m ok, granted, if it was something more serious or dangerous, then maybe you should worry about me, but I’ve been through this many of times so I can take care of myself.”
Then TK said to me while still not making eye contact with me, but instead continued to look at the maps while Factory Dash was making notes of some kind, “So you don’t know then. When Me and her came through the portal and out of the basement, we found your door opened. I had no idea what had happened to you. My guess is you were either was kidnapped or you were in trouble, but the kind of trouble you could handle by yourself. If you would not have returned in one week, I know you were kidnapped or in serious trouble, a trouble you couldn’t get out of and would I have gone look for you, but chances are you would have been dead because you have limits to how long you can keep yourself alive, especially when you forgot to pack all you equipment in your satchel as usual.”
TK then pointed his right hoof towards the counter in the kitchen with all of my stuff on it, in which I was dumbfounded at first because I had thought I had my stuff. However, I saw that my satchel was filled with weed, in which I forgot not too long ago, I decided to fill my satchel up with weed because I needed weed on the go.
Well, after I realized my mistake, I then told TK, “Well… good thing you didn’t have to worry about me.”
Then TK said back to me in response, “Sometimes I think you want to get into trouble and don’t care about your safety.”
Then I said to him, “Of course I care about my safety.”
Then he just stared at me and after a few seconds of silence, I then said, “Alright, maybe sometimes my safety is in danger a few times here and there, but I’m alright though.”
Then Factory Dash then said to me without making a single expression on her face or even raising her head to look at me, “You’re a fucking dumbass Knight because you keep getting into stupid situations.”
I then said to her, “Well at least I live a little you emotionless bitch.”
Then she said back to me without looking at me, “Next time you call me an emotionless bitch, I’ll cut your throat open and dance on your grave.”
Then I looked over to TK and said to him, “Sometimes I wish you never met her and would instead ripped her fucking throat out and fed it to a pack of wolves.”
Then Factory Dash said back to me with an emotionless tone in her voice, “Why thank you Knight, that is the best compliment anypony ever gave me.”
She actually was serious about that, that was the best compliment she ever got.
Anyways, TK then said to me after Factory Dash’s comment, “I know you two don’t get along that well Knight, but she is still a valuable member to this team.”
I then told TK while stomping off in a bit of rage due to the fact I called bullshit on that statement, “Team!? You call us a team!? The team died a long time ago when I accidently was trapped in that other My Little Pony universe, hell, you even became the devil of your universe when I left. Besides, we’re not even a team anymore, like you said when I came back, you and her had split up, making the team officially dead. Besides, you really don’t care about my safety not that much anymore, not like back in the good old days of adventuring.”
Then TK said, but this time actually looking at me, “First off, I don’t care much about you because it seems to me you can take of yourself, although despite that, I still serve you a little bit since you are my creator. Secondly, we’re still a team because you have allies in this universe and of course we’re still facing bigger problems like TF.”
I then went up to TK a little bit and told him, “Allies, we might be friends at times, but really, we’re a ticking time bomb, poorly matched friends… in a way that sometimes are friends. Besides, even if those ponies did know, they still wouldn’t be much help to the team… well at least as much as I’ve seen really.”
Then TK said to me that was a bit shocking to me, “Well that neon green pony seems to know about what everything is going on, he even seems to take a liking to you especially.”
I then was silent for a few seconds, trying to take in that someone knew about the portals, but yet has not killed him for knowing a secret that they shouldn’t have known in the first place.
I then said to TK, “You… know about… Neon knowing about everything?”
Then TK looked at me once more and said to me, “Yes… when I went to check the place when I saw your door opened to make sure there was no intruders in here, I reconstructed a virtual simulator experience in my helmet, in which I saw the events that happened a few days ago. I was ready to go find him and kill him, but yet he seems different to me, as if he knew all that was going on all this time, as if he was expecting you this entire time. Then again, the way he acts also makes me curious as to what he knows about this universe, in which case, even if he didn’t seem to expect you this entire time, he might have some useful information in case we ever need it.”
I then looked away from TK and slowly backed up towards the kitchen and saying, “Right,” as I was slowly nodding my head.
I then said to TK, “So then, that’s out of the way, what are you looking at anyway?”
Factory Dash then immediately told me what she and TK was doing, “We’re looking at various maps of other universes that are yet to be explored, including Earth and that other My Little Pony universe you speak of which we have located the satellites that TF has put in place. We’re looking for the best possible universe and ways to take them out since the one satellite that you failed to retrieved was destroyed. Which that satellite also held information regarding TF’s whereabouts. So really, all this does is prove my statement from earlier that you’re an imbecile.”
I then stared at her for a few seconds, until I said to her, “Sometimes I wonder why did we even work together that one time when we went to Manehatten… because we worked together pretty good there… but that was the only time though when it was just you and I there. Maybe you should have died in that explosion.”
Then Factory Dash said to me, “Yeah… fuck you too Knight…”
I then replied back while going to retrieve my stuff from the counter in the kitchen, “Yeah fuck you too bitch.”
I then gave out a sigh, in which I then said to the both of them as I was heading for the stairs, “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you two assholes some other time when you’re not bothering me.”
I then headed towards my room and put my hat on the rack I usually have near my door and replaced all the weed from my satchel with all of my stuff that I had left behind. I then went to the bathroom and took a quick piss and headed straight for my bed. I then used my magic to raise the covers and got under it and let the covers fall on me by using my magic. I then used my magic to turn off the lights and I soon fell asleep pretty fast. A deep sleep I should mention.
While I was getting ready for bed, Factory Dash told TK soon after I had left, “Why do we still need to associate with him? I mean he seems to be doing fine own his own, like he said this was a place for him to retire, did he not say that to you?”
TK then said to her, “Well that was what I had thought, but when Knight asked me to help him get to the Everfree Forest in this universe, I had no idea that TF would have been following us. However, since TF is on the loose and TF mainly hates Knight the most, we still need to work together as a team until he is dead and gone, in which we can permanently go our separate ways.”
Then Factory Dash brought up a good point, “What if that isn’t the end, what if there is something else?”
Then TK said to her, “Then we continue to work as a team until this is all finished. That or we die to our last breaths, for we fight until we die. All mortals have to die sometime… even I have to… even Knight has to…but sometimes when he gets into certain situations, it makes me wonder if he would be able to cheat death and even kill death itself. It seems to me that Knight can get out of certain situations, it sometimes dumbfounds me… and sometimes and makes me wonder if he is death. But then again, he can cheat death, but that doesn’t mean death doesn’t have something plan for him in the end, something that’s even worse than death.”
Then TK stayed silent for a while until Factory Dash spoke up, “Are you saying that he is immortal?”
Then TK responded back to her, “Well, with all of the things that he has been through and what I have seen through his memories and whatever else his future might hold… it’s starting to seem that way. Granted it doesn’t mean he still has weaknesses, obviously he is weak beyond anything, but yet his will is strong, very strong and does not give up easily. That’s the interesting thing about him, his sense of will and to fight is strong, but yet when he uses his mind he is weak. He is supposed to be human, but humans are weak in every way possible, for they are worthless and have no point to live for anything. However, Knight seems to be different, as if there is something more that I am missing to him, to his soul.
'Since I have become the devil of my universe, of my home that Knight, my creator, made by his own mind, I have a taste to devour souls sometimes. I have devoured souls many of times, granted I just absorb them since I never take off my helmet, by I still get a taste of what they are like. If they have lived bad lives, they taste, just like humanity. Some do taste sweet and were denied into heaven and to spend all of eternity in hell. However, I sometimes wonder if I was to devour his soul, what would it taste like?
‘Would it have a balance between sweet and sour, or a taste that has never been crated before? His soul intrigues me, his life intrigues me, who is and what he believes in makes me want to know more about him and who he really is, but only out of curiosity as it seems to me that insanity has taken over him. As if that is what he is, insanity, and if he is, then this world is nothing compared to him.”
Then everything stayed silent, in which Factory Dash spoke to TK after a while of silence, “Sometimes I wonder what the fuck you are saying sometimes.”
Then TK said to her, “Sometimes you need to be insane like me to understand what I’m saying or to be pure of heart, maybe that is why Knight made me, because he was too insane at heart.”
Then Factory Dash said while looking closer at a map, “Yeah… well maybe you’re looking too deep into this. Knight is just another lost soul like the rest of us, we’re looking for our own paths and we will forever be looking because our own paths do not exist, but yet we continue to believe it exists, so we continue to look for it, but yet we fail every time. Besides, even if Knight was the slightest bit of interesting, you shouldn’t bother trying to look into it, just worry about yourself, like you said he can take care of himself. And if he was insane, then he can just burn this world to the ground and watch for all I care.”
Then as soon as factory Dash looked up to TK’s face, TK asked her, “Why don’t you like Knight?”
Then she said, “Well… we just don’t have that much in common interest, besides, you trained me, not him. That and Knight is an idiot at times and I do not improve of working with idiots. It just happened to be that one time we worked together, mostly because it was a long night and I didn’t feel like complaining with Knight. Besides, I was only there to ask Knight if he knew the way towards the Manehatten in this universe because I found a mysterious signal being sent here.”
Then TK looked at her and asked, “You knew about TF?”
Then she said, “I didn’t know it was by TF, I just found a signal and thought I would investigate it, however, it turns out that Knight also needed to go to Manehatten for whatever stupid reason he got himself into, so I went along with him and helped him since I was there. Then we saw the broadcasted signal and we went from there.”
Then TK said to her, “I see… well you should try to at least try to work together with Knight, because something tells me that we all need to work together if we want to take down TF. Something tells me that he will try to be one step ahead of us this time around.”
Then Factory Dash responded back to TK, “Well, if you would have just killed TF when you had the chance instead of listening to Knight…”
Then TK pounded one of his hooves on the coffee table, in which he then said to Factory Dash, “Listen and listen good. You may have tried to kill me and Knight once or twice before, you may disgust me of what you do as your job in your world, you may be my apprentice, but remember this Factory Dash… I will break you if you dare cross the line with me. I will kill you and burn you alive. I will break your neck! I will rip you limb from fucking limb!! I will End you, despite of what I have taught you in the past!!! I will devour your soul… and I bet it taste good… SO THIS WILL BE YOUR ONLY WARNING AND LEAVE PERSONAL MATTERS BETWEEN MY RESPECT TOWARDS MY CREATOR OUT OF THIS AND FUTURE CONVERSATIONS! IT IS ONLY BETWEEN ME AND HIM!”
Then they both stayed once quiet they heard a noise from the second floor of the home. When they heard the footsteps coming from my room, they stopped what they were doing, although all they were doing is TK was yelling at Factory Dash and Factory Dash not showing emotions towards what TK was yelling at her about, or even flinching for that matter as TK came closer and closer to her face when yelling at her.
Well, after they heard the noise, Factory Dash said, “Oh look… you woke up the idiot who could hear all of your yelling… maybe you should try to sing him a lullaby to put him back to sleep you loud mouth, you’re the one who did wake him up.”
Then TK looked at her and said to her, “I can tell you’re trying to insult me and him… sadly that is not your line of work.”
Then Factory Dash then said, “Wow… you are an emotionless asshole…j ust like what Knight described you as before.”
Then TK said to her, “Shut it… and you’re wrong, that wasn’t Knight that we heard… it’s someone else.”
Then Factory Dash asked TK, “What do you mean, how could you tell if that was Knight’s footstep or not?”
Then TK said to her, “Knight never makes any noise when he is on a second level of a building, especially since he is a pony or a unicorn in this case, so that would mean that he is a bit of a light weight. So that means who ever broke in here and left the door open might have come back is still here. I’ll go check it out. Stay here if you see anything and if you do see anything, keep whoever you see alive until I get back.”
Then Factory Dash said as TK was moving towards the stairs, “Got it.”
Then Factory Dash was keeping a sharp look out as TK was halfway up the steps. Eventually he went to my door, but instead of opening it, he heard a voice, as if it was talking to me and it made him want to listen to what the voice was saying instead of finding out who was talking.
You see, while TK and Factory Dash was having their discussion down below, I was fast asleep and couldn’t even hear TK’s yelling. However, what I didn’t know, well, not until years later when I found out and saw this by opening up a portal to see what had happened in the past.
Well, a dark, tall, humanoid figure appeared in my room. He was completely black, but yet had some dark colors added around his entire body, as if it was showing the universe. It showed the stars and everything… in a way weird way that is I should say. He had also eyes with only purple pupils. It pretty much teleported to my room and quietly walked over to me… well a little bit but mostly made some noise though.
Well, it then stared at me as if it knew who I was and if I knew him as well, as if we’re were long lost friends from long ago. Then he put a hand on me, gently brushing against my cheeks. After which, it started to walk around my room slowly. Then it spoke these very words with a very charming voice while continuing to walk around and looking at my stuff I had in my room, “Oh Knight… it has been so long since the last time we have met. I know you do not remember who I am… but I don’t expect you to… not now that is. Soon you will know who I am and why I am here for you Knight.
‘I have plans for you Knight… plans to help you get back on your feet… or in this case hooves… to get back to nature… to get back to who you really are. Consider these plans a little exercise to help you connect back to your inner soul. Well, at least I hope so, I have been trying hard to keep these plans going for you Knight, but yet we both keep running into problems, in which case it is fine, we all have problems. It would just mean my plan would have failed while you would have a bit of trouble connecting back Knight. I know you cannot hear me, but it is best to do this. You see Knight, I have been waiting for you to come here for a very… very… long time.
‘Even she has been waiting for you… once she finds out that you are here… she will be so excited to see you again. She would be grateful to have you back, which you are but she cannot tell if you’re here. It’s because she had stopped looking for you ages ago, but I didn’t, and I simply have you back now. Hopefully when the time comes you could see our ways Knight… well at least my ways that is, for she does not have anything to do with this. However I am simply trying to prepare you for her coming, to make yourself… presentable to her, so she does not feel like she has lost much with you. However, those skills you have been trained with… by that… emotionless… asshole as you describe him... can come in handy in this plan of mine.
‘Although what you have experienced outside of the universe would be just a warm up compared to what you’re going to go through… well… if it all goes according to plan that is… In that case Knight… I know this is late coming from me. However, it is still proper to say this to from a gentlebeing to a gentlecolt…. Welcome back Knight… or in other words… Welcome to Insanity…”
TK then decided that he had heard enough and broke out of his frozen stiff position and busted down the door. He didn’t break it open, but he still broke down the door.
However, the noise he had made while also turning on the lights made the being disappear and even awaken me as well. When TK busted through the door, I jolted out of bed, but not missing the being that was in my room by half a microsecond.
I then said to TK, “What the hell is your problem TK? You know you could have sent Factory Dash up here instead, and maybe then I could rip her intestines out for waking me up.”
Then Factory Dash yelled all the way from downstairs, “I can hear you know!?”
I then whispered, “Yeah… and I can kick your ass bitch.”
Then after I said that, TK walked towards me and pulled the covers off of me and said to me, “Get out now.”
Then I had a confused look and I asked him, “What for… look if you want to jerk it, use the bathroom in the hallway… god knows how many times Wolf already used it to get off…”
Then TK just looked at me as if he was tired of my jokes. I then said to him, “Alright, I’ll try not to make anymore jokes towards you… but I have a habit of doing it. Why do I even have to get out of my room anyways?”
Then TK said while he was looking around my room, “There was someone in your room not too long ago. My guess is you were in a very deep sleep, so of course you were undisturbed by its presence in the room, however me and Factory Dash could hear whatever was in your room from the first floor. He was even talking to you while you were sleeping and I’m starting to worry about what is going on here… in other words Knight… I need to investigate your room and reconstruct a simulator as to what he did and what he said.”
I then got out of my bed and slowly walked towards my door, in which I said to TK, “Alright… alright… I’ll leave, although I’m pretty sure it’s nothing to worry about… possibly just some random thing from Neon’s mind or whatever coming here to bother me some more… as if I wasn’t bothered enough tonight.”
Then TK was looking at me as he was near the door, ready to close it while he would be searching for clues as to what was just in my room not too long ago until he said, “I overheard him say he had plans for you… and that you both met each other in the past…”
Then TK shut the door and locked it while I had a bit of a puzzling look on my face, but it disappeared when I realized it was possibly still Neon behind all of this. Anyways, TK used his virtual simulator to reconstruct what had happened in my room, while I was sitting in the hallway waiting for him to finish up and Factory Dash still sitting in the living room.
Eventually TK opened the door and I got up, in which I then said to him, “So… you find anything in there?”
Then TK said to me while walking towards the steps to go down, “No… not a single thing told me what it is or what it was doing here… I believe we’re dealing with something more than what we are capable of…just watch your back Knight.”
Then TK headed down the steps and went back to talk to Factory Dash, in which he just explained to her what he did in the room and told me, so really nothing new to talk about. I then walked back into my room and shut the door along with locking it and barricading it so TK or Factory Dash has a bit more of a challenge next time if they want to break through my door.
I then adjusted my covers and got into bed and turned off the lights. I then slowly went back into a deep dream.
Once Celestia’s sun rose up, I was still sleeping. In fact, I was still sleeping throughout half of the day due to what I went through last night. It was around lunch time when I finally woke up and got out of bed. Celestia’s sun was still high in the sky, but was eventually was going to descend down and have a beautiful orange sun set in a few hours or so.
I then went to the bathroom to take a quick piss along with brushing my teeth.
I then went over to the toilet and lifted the seat up. From there I kind of half way stood up, you don't want to know how a pony's dick work... trust me you don't, I'll spare you the details, and let the lizard lose. After which a thought crossed my mind, ‘Huh… I just remembered that weird thing I experienced a few days ago… what was it? Oh yeah… that second brother thing… I forgot about that… maybe I should look up that name “Inca” and see what if it has any meaning whatsoever… I mean Celestia and Luna’s names sort of have meanings to them… do they? I don’t know and I really don’t care right now… but perhaps I should still look up what that name means. Perhaps it will give me a clue or an idea where this missing brother could be at… but where can I find such information. Only if there was something where I can just read… like an internet… but since internet doesn’t exist here… I have no clue.'
I then finished taking my piss, shaking my pony ding dong a little bit to get out all the drops of the yellow stuff out. After I thought it was all out, cause you never really know when you do until you get a blowjob from some chick, then you'll find out if you did or not, I then put the toilet seat back down. I'm that type of guy, that gentleman because I don't want to look at the toilet when I walk in the bathroom. It just makes me more irresistible to the ladies out there, just saying. Still a bachelor by the way. Not giving out out any roses but just saying... yet... Well from there I headed over to the skink.
From there I continued to think to myself, ‘Only if there was something like a magical thing… like… something that has information in it… but yet isn’t the internet. Like if history was recorded in such a primitive thing… but what could this thing be though? I wonder if this magical thing is a myth…. oh yeah… I know what it’s called… a book…that joke would so burn American kids right now…not knowing what a book is… he he he… kind of funny to me. Although… even though my home is a library… I don’t feel like looking up the books here… I’ll just go to Twilight’s place… she’ll know what to do.'
While I was thinking to myself in my own mind, I was lighting up my horn and grabbing the toothpaste, the mouthwash, and my tooth brush. And from there I was doing the usual routine of splurting out some toothpaste onto the brush, and then sticking it in my mouth, brushing up and down and all around. I evem made sure to get it into the back to make sure all of the crud was out. I ave nice teeth. Niver then yours... you mother fuckers... you wish you had my teeth... yeah...
Whiel I was brushing my lovely teeth that is beter than yours, I continued the conversation in my head with, ‘Speaking of Twilight, I wonder why her house isn’t a castle now? I mean I know I came after the events of season four of the show, but perhaps this universe just had a delay of some kind? Then again, I spent almost five years here and there still is no castle… just a tree library still… I wonder why? Maybe the universe did that to mess with me… and if so, then I’ll get back at the universe somehow… somehow… why are my thoughts so long and hard, he he he, long and hard. That’s what she said… god those jokes are awful. Maybe I should stop thinking… or eventually I’m going to sing another forgotten 80’s song from the past soon enough. I wonder if I have muffins still in the kitchen.’
From there, I had brushed my teeth for a couple of minutes. And then once I was done, I spat out the toothpaste, washed the toothbrush and then took a big swig from the mouthwash, all with my magic, titlt my hed back and gargled. And I was commiting genocide by killing all of those germ in the back of my throat. Got to kill them all. Send then to the ovens. Then I spat that out too, smiled at myself to check my teeth, and once I was then, I took a step back, finished my toughts, and was ready leave...
Then all of a sudden… Derpy comes crashing through my bathroom wall and she yelled out loud, “Muffins!”
She landed on the edge of the bathroom floor while she had crossed eyes as always along with me just standing there shock. I then stared at her for a few more seconds until somehow Dr. Whooves teleported into my bathroom and grabbing a hold of Derpy to take back with him.
I then said to him, “Hey… how’s it going Dr. Whooves…”
He then said to me, “Greetings Knight… I apologize for this… you’ll see why in a couple of months or so from now. Derpy… how about you fix Knight’s bathroom wall?”
Then a bunch of small, talking, walking muffins that sounds like a bunch of midgets climbed out of Derpy’s asshole and grabbed the broken pieces to my bathroom wall and started fix it while singing a lovely tune, which was this:
Ding dong, we are the working muffins.
We also love to sing.
We sing it high and sing it low.
We sing all day to a lovely ding.
We’ll also leave your mind to blow.
All we are is just working muffins.
Ding Dong, we are the working muffins,
Of our home planet named Kill,
We fill your minds of songs to play in your head.
We make amends to make a mill,
So that it’s full of lead.
All we are is just working muffins…
Then the song ended and they one by one, climbed back into Derpy’s asshole and continued to live there. I then had wide eyes, but yet didn’t want to ask why that happened.
The Doctor then said to me, “Right… like I said… this will be explained to you in a few months or so from now. Have a good afternoon Knight.”
They then somehow teleported away, while I walked away from my bathroom and headed downstairs to ignore what I just witnessed. I walked down the steps and found the place was spotless and no signs as if TK and Factory Dash was never here last night. However, I did see signs of Wolf… because there was a bunch of Magic Beer on the ground. Wolf was lying down on the couch on his back, sleeping.
I then poked at Wolf and said to him, “Get up Wolf… we’ll be taking a visit to Twilight’s place.”
Then Wolf said back to me, “I don’t feel like it you piece of shit… I’m too drunk, tired, and horny after the mass orgy I had with Molestia last night.”
Wolf then turned over and was then laying down on his left side and facing the couch cushions.
I then told him after giving a sigh, “Listen… Wolf… I know you do it a lot with Molestia and now and then she comes by here and does me a few times every now and then… but maybe you should stop seeing her because I kind of don’t get to see you that often.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Yeah… but she’s good in bed… she’s like a pro or something… like she does this for a living in her universe.”
I then said to him, “I bet she does, along with being a princess of course but also having sex for a living. Now get the fuck up, I’ll get my hat and satchel from my room and we’ll leaving.”
As I was about to go upstairs, Wolf then said to me, “Isn’t it already noon? Doesn’t it like… take a few hours to get to Ponyville or something like that?”
I then said to him, “Yeah… but now Stalia added a new trail to take that will be much faster and takes less than an hour to get there. Although I think the reason why they made that trail was ever in case they decided to go to war with Ponyville. Like they had a quick route to take to kill all the women and children of the town. In fact, I think they would rape the babies, then kill the babies, rape the children, kill the children, rape the mares, kill the mares, rape the stallions, and kill the stallions… in that order. Like the babies would rape the babies, the children would rape the children, mares raping the stallions, and stallions raping the mares along with killing whoever they had raped.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Wow… this is pretty one fucked up town Knight…”
I then said to him, “It’s more like hell… or a weird town that you never knew existed. Anyways, I’ll be getting my stuff, so be ready.”
Then wolf said, “I guess I can... let me just finish whacking my dick off to this picture of Molestia that she gave me.”
Apparently while we were talking, Wolf was jacking it, however I then told him, “Just make sure you clean up your cum…I don’t want to sit where you relieved yourself.”
I then went back to my room and grabbed my hat and satchel. I then headed down stairs and into the kitchen while Wolf was almost about to hit an orgasm and grabbed myself a hay bar… surprisingly hay is really delicious here. It’s like really good… maybe it’s because I am a pony.
Anyways, Wolf finished cumming and got off of the couch, licked up his own cum, jizzed some more, licked up that cum as well and swallowed it all in a single gulp.
I then looked at him and he said, “Well someone needs to shallow my cum and it would sure be gay if you did it.”
I then said to him, “Shut the fuck up and get walking Wolf.”
I then walked out the door along with Wolf following behind and also closing the door when we left. We then walked through town hall of Stalia and walked passed kids playing around while others were shopping in the market away or going about their day.
A few times, a pony would walk by and say hello to me since I was the leader of The Elements of Protection after all. We eventually reached the newly made trail and followed it. It only took us around thirty-nine minutes to reach Ponyville, in which a few ponies did recognized me and also said hello to me.
However, I felt like this town was a bit more pleasant and friendly while Stalia was a fucked up town with babies raping babies and killing them. Oh well… shit happens in life, and you just need to deal with that shit.
Or to put it into better words, life is a shit sandwich and we all have to take a bite out of it.
Anyways, we both walked through town, seeing happy and friendly faces, much more innocent than Stalia’s citizens, although I won’t lie… I kind of missed seeing it a bit. It didn’t feel like home… but then again I suppose Stalia was my home.
Anyways, we then walked for about thirty more minutes and we found Twilight’s home. I could see that the lights were still on, so that meant that she hadn’t left to go visit her friends or anything like that. Well, we went up to her door and I knocked on her door with my right hoof.
Three seconds later, I heard her voice say through the door, “Coming!”
Five more seconds later, the door opened and when Twilight saw my face, she had a smile on her face and she said to me, “Oh… Knight, I didn’t expect to see you today. Did Celestia sent you to tell me something or is there something you wanted to ask me?”
Then Twilight got in real close to my face and then said to me, “Like asking me about a date or something similar to that, sort of like the date we had back in Manehatten even though it wasn’t really a date?”
I then said to her while putting my hoof on her face to back her up away from me, “Uhh… no… not all.”
I then whispered under my breath, “Although I do hope you don’t remember Spike raping you and getting AIDS.”
Then Twilight had a shocked looked as if she heard me say those words, but yet wasn’t sure if she heard correctly.
She then said, “What did you just say Knight?”
I then said to her while looking innocent, “Oh… nothing… nothing at all. Anyways, I’m just here to ask you if I could use your library so I can look up something with the books you have.”
Then Twilight asked me while being confused, “But… don’t you have books in your own home? I mean your home is a library after all and you should have almost the same books as I do and…”
I then cut her off and I then said to her, “I don’t feel like reading the book that I had so I’m just going to look up the books you have…does that explain it enough to you Twilight?”
She then stayed silent for a bit until she said to break up the silence, “Sure… that makes sense I guess. Well, you can use the library anyways, I’ll be heading out to meet my friends at the café. Although, they would appreciate you dropping by Knight before you leave town, unless you have other plans here in town.”
I then said, “Nope, after this I’m heading back home. Although I don’t know if I should drop by… I don’t feel like doing that… I mean I’m going to have to like… walk a few extra feet to get to that café.”
Then Twilight said, “Oh Knight, stop being like that and just stop by for a little bit. The girls want to see you again, besides, they really haven’t talked to you that much since that time when you were still in Celestia’s school. It won’t take long Knight… just a few minutes and you could leave.”
I then sighed and said to her while putting my right hoof over my eyes, “Fine… I’ll go and meet the girls after I’m done here.”
Then Twilight had a big smile on her face and she then said to me while she walked towards the door with Spike who had just came down the steps to go with Twilight, “Thank you Knight, I’ll tell them that you’ll be on your way then. Oh, and when you’re finished, turn off the light and lock the front door, thanks.”
Then Twilight closed the door and was on her way to meet her friends and to whatever mares do when they hang out. They are quite the interesting species I might add, because you got to wonder… what do they do when they’re together… and I’m possibly high again. I’m high on fresh air… that is some good fresh air… now I’m an addict to fresh air and need to go to rehab for it… I blame the schools for it.
Anyways, I then went to the shelves on the first floor and started to look for the book I was looking for until Wolf interrupted me and asked me, “Het Knight? How much of a douche do you think Spike is?”
I then said to him while still trying to concentrate on finding the book, “I don’t think he’s that much of a douche… maybe a little bit for having AIDS, but overall I think he’s just a big pussy for not being able to do much in life.”
Wolf then said to me, “I don’t know… Spike seems to be a douche to me… but he seems like a nice douche though. I think he is a gentle douche. What do you think about that Knight?”
I then said to him while being a little stressed out trying to find the book, “I think he just needs some balls, now can you please shut up and help me find the book I’m looking for. Twilight keeps changing everything around and I’m starting to wonder if she belongs in a mental asylum.”
Then Wolf said to me, “Don’t we all belong in a mental asylum?”
I then stared at him, asking if he can actually be useful and help me find my book, but at the same time I knew he had a point… in truth, we all do belong in a mental asylum.
Well, Wolf figured out what I was saying through my eyes and he then said to me, “Alright then… I’ll go look for the book.”
Then Wolf went over to a shelf and I went back to looking. However, after a few seconds of him looking, he said to me, “Found it, apparently it was with the genre of books called ‘Names.’ Twilight is a weird bitch.”
I then went over to Wolf and found the book he was looking at, in which I used my magic to grab it and went over to a table that Twilight used to write stuff, like a desk I guess.
Well, Wolf followed me as I said to him, “Yeah… but I’m not going to lie… she’s my bitch.”
Then Wolf said to me as I put the book down on the table, “So… how much money does she bring in every night?”
Then Wolf just smiled at me and I said to him while laughing on the inside, “That’s pretty good Wolf… pretty good… but in all seriousness, she brings about like five bits. Every now and then I break in here whenever I’m really drunk or high to steal her money… then some ghost girl who lives in Stalia takes it from me and rapes it… then it disappears forever.”
Then Wolf’s smile disappeared as I was opening the book to search the name ‘Inca,’ while he then said to me, “Is that a joke or you’re serious?”
I then looked at him and said, “I’m serious… I just don’t remember it except for one night and found out I was doing it every night that I got really drunk or high. Even during my school days I was doing it.”
We then both stayed silent from one another and I then started to look for the name I was looking for. It was in the “I” section of the book, so I was fairly close. After a few minutes of skimming through the book, I found the name “Inca.”
I then said to Wolf, “I found it… according to this, the name Inca is a name made thousands of years ago. Apparently during the early years of life of ponies who were actually intelgient and not living in caves. There were conflicts between ponies and other species of intelligent beings. Apparently, before the reign of the two sisters and the reign of Discord, basically even before the history of what they said on the show, there was a time where every pony pretty much lived in peace.
I continued to scan my eyes across the page, letting all the words be absorbed into my mind, trying to make sense of the infromation. It seemed a little off comapred to what the show was, at least as much as I had watched and learned. And while I'm sure it's ot accruate to what you people know, this was this universe's history. And it seemed... weird to me. But I rolled with it.
I then continued reading to Wolf, ‘However sadly not much is left of the records of this as most of it was destroyed when the ruler of Equestria failed to meet her demands of both ruling earth and Heaven after she was chosen to be god and a ruthless pony named Rogue Pursuer started a revolution that overthrew the castle of Equestria and threaten god herself if she was to ever come down and show her face again. From that day forward, the word Inca was never used again and/or believed to be forbidden, for the word Inca mean ‘bringer of peace.’ However, Rouge was beaten by Discord and disappeared ever since then, but when the two sisters defeated Discord and set him in stone, the word Inca was used again, but only as a job and it’s a rare job to see nowadays as well.”
The room went quiet after I said that, and after ten seconds, Wolf asked me, “Did that book really had all of that stuff in there?”
I then said back to him, “Yup… kind of a weird book, but it only tells me who Inca could have been, a prince of peace I suppose since he is the brother of Celestia and Luna. But it doesn’t give me any hints as to where he could be at though.”
Then Wolf said to me while I was putting the book away, “Well, maybe you should just ask the princesses themselves and maybe they’ll help you search for their brother.”
I then said to him while putting the book on the shelve, “First, that’s a dumb idea. Two, the universe obviously won’t allow it. Three, they possibly won’t believe me.”
Then Wolf put a paw to his chin and then a light bulb went off and he said to me, “What about just talking to god of this universe then? Maybe she could help find her long lost son… or maybe… SHE’S THE KILLER!”
I then looked at Wolf and I squinted my eyes a bit at him until I said, “Your joke isn’t bad Wolf… but really it needs work.”
Then Wolf said, “No… I was being serious here, maybe she somehow killed him or knows where he is and wanted to get rid of him.”
I then said to him, “Nah… she wouldn’t do that. What I’ve been told about god and my studies during my school days in Cantorlot, she is a very nice Alicorn and loves all of her children, even Celestia and Luna can vouch for her. But at the same time… it doesn’t seem like a bad idea to do…”
I then turned around after putting the book on the shelve and saw Wolf ready to bash my head in with a brick he found, until I said to him, “Wolf, what the fuck are you doing?”
He then said while slowly putting the brick down, “I thought maybe you would want me to kill you now and go ask her yourself… and smoke all of your weed and sell your body on the black pony market.”
I then said while putting my hoof on the brick to put it fully down on the ground, “Let’s do this… put the brick down on the ground and we’ll get the hell out of here to meet with Twilight, or else I’m going to shove this brick up your wooden asshole.”
Then Wolf grinned at me and he said, “Oh come on Knight… don’t you know how many times Molestia shoved things up my ass. Like a lot of things… like a lot of dildos and sex toys… and a whole bottle of lubes… my ass is immune to such a thing and…”
I then cut Wolf off by shoving a brick up his ass. Wolf then tried his very best to remain calm because the brick was giving him so much pain.
Wolf then said to me with a very calm voice, “Owww… although this does feel very kinky though… just give me a minute and wait outside would you? I need a little alone time to myself.”
I then said to him while walking out of the library, “Sure… just make sure you clean up, I don’t want Twilight to think I jacked off in her place and she thinks I want to do her.”
I then walked outside and closed the door, waiting for Wolf to finish up inside.
After forty minutes of waiting, he finally came out and closed the door behind him, in which I asked him, “So, you cleaned up in there?”
Then Wolf said to me, “Yup, I swallowed up my cum, came again, and did it three more times.”
I then said to him while starting to walk towards the café, “Good for you pervert.”
Then Wolf said to me as we started to walk, “I’m only a pervert when I’m bored.”
We then started to head north of the town until only ten feet from Twilight’s home, there was a homeless crack addict, shaking and wallowing on the ground, waiting for some bits so he can spend it all on crack.
He then looked at me and he said while thrusting his forearms out, “Got any spare bits man… I desperately need it for crack man… don’t you see I’m dying here… I need money for some drugs…”
Then he started to cry some tears here and there, while continue to look at me with puppy dog eyes.
I then said to him, “Well… you know that library over there? The front door is unlocked, and there is many nice things in there you could sell to get drugs from whatever drug dealer you get from… if there exists any that is…”
Yeah, I wasn’t so sure about the whole drug dealer thing… then again drugs were still sold throughout Equestria, but like I said, very little choice to do it, so it wasn’t illegal.
Then the homeless drug addict looked over at the library and back to me and asked me, “Isn’t that where Princess Twilight Sparkle lives at though?”
I then said to him, “Nope, it’s just some rich zebra that lives there, that should give you some motivation to break in sometime soon.”
He then nodded at me, but decided to lay there, but I suppose he wanted to wait until nightfall came to do it, which would make sense, you steal stuff from black people, or in this case zebras late at night… because they’re black… and the night sky is dark you see and it’s their weakness you see and… you get it. Well, we then was well on our way to the café and we continued to walk north.
Nine minutes later after passing ponies going about their day, we found the café and found Twilight and her friends hanging out outside at one of the tables. Pinkie Pie then spotted me and she had her bright eyes and a huge smile on her face.
She then raised her hooves and yelled at me, “Hey Knight! We’re over here! We’re over here at this table!”
Then Twilight said to her while putting her hooves on Pinkie’s hooves to calm her down, “Calm down Pinkie, Knight can see us just find.”
She then looked back at me and used a hoof to make a gesture for me to come forward. I then started to walk towards them and when we got to the table, Pinkie Pie gave me the biggest hug she could give me.
She then said to me, “It’s been so long since we last seen each other! I never want to let you go!”
I then said to her, “Well you have to let me go sometime Pinkie, you just can’t do that forever.”
I said that with a small smile on my face, but she let me go a little bit from her hug and looked at me.
She then said to me, “But we’re friends, so I could never let you go.”
Then Rainbow Dash put her hooves on her and to put them on the table and said to her, “Relax pinkie, it’s not like Knight isn’t going anywhere any time soon. You’ll see him again later.”
Pinkie then relaxed a bit and she said to her, “Ok, that makes sense. I just hope it isn’t a really long time, because then maybe he won’t remember that I was his friend, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.”
I then said to her, “Listen Pinkie, I won’t forget you.”
Although in my head I said to myself, ‘I’ll forget you, it’s all because Neon out does you and he make sure you never forget him… never… not with what he does to make a mark of himself in your mind… with all the horrors he has done in the past.’
Pinkie then nodded her head, in which she satisfied with that answer I gave her. Then Rainbow Dash then looked at me and she asked, “So Knight, how’s it been since the last time we saw you?”
I then stared at them for a little, but with wide eyes as if I just saw a ghost. I was deep within my own thoughts and was thinking as to what had happened within the last few days since I saw them.
However, while I was in deep thought, Rainbow dash kept saying, “Knight… Knight? Are you even listening to me?”
As she was saying that, my mind quickly raced through the memories as to what I had experienced, with all the crack, Canadian Guards, a fucked up Mickey Mouse who beats up Minnie to a bloody pulp, trains dogs to use a gun, and own most of the child porn sites on the deep web.
Then there’s drinking with Craig, going on that adventure with Mac and a dragon dying of ghost AIDS, the parade of Stalia incident, Neon Hell, dancing midget singing muffins out of Derpy’s asshole. Then there’s piles of bodies burning before my very eyes and hell itself, coming face to face with a demon’s eyes, watching every soul burn within minutes, laughing like a mad man while cutting someone’s… face off… and hearing voices in your head!
Aside from those horrors from the past few days since I last met them, I was completely fine and saw nothing wrong about it all. NOTHING.
Well, since I wasn’t saying anything and the group looking worried about me and asking themselves if I’m dead or not, Twilight then spoke for me and she said to them, “He was possibly just learning lessons on friendship just like what Princess Celestia told him to do… right Knight?”
I then looked at her, dead straight into her eyes and said, “Yeah… that’s what I have been exactly doing this entire time ever since I moved into Stalia permanently… learning about stuff… friendship… happiness, sunshine and flowers and shit… sunshine and farts… yes… that’s what I exactly learned.”
Then the group just stared at me and Rainbow said to me, “Riiiiiiiiiiight… so… um… how’s your friends over in Stalia been doing Knight… if you don’t mind us asking that is?”
I then stared at the whole group and I said to them all with the same voice and look as I did not too long ago, “Good… very good… nothing wrong about them… we had good times and bad times… learned lessons on friendship as the princess told us to do… good times… good times.”
While I was saying that, I was thinking of all the things that me and my friends have done… a lot of fucked up shit that is. Then they continued to stare at me awkwardly as if I did something that was odd and embarrassing.
Rainbow Dash said over I talked, “That’s good… I guess.”
Then I saw Fluttershy go up to Rainbow Dash and whisper something in her ear.
She whispered to her, “I wonder what’s wrong with Knight. He doesn’t seem to be his usual self.”
Then I saw Applejack who was right next to Rainbow Dash go up and joined the conversation and whispered, “Perhaps he doesn’t like being in Stalia.”
Then Fluttershy said, “Do you think so?”
Then Applejack said, “Well every time we ask something to do with being in Stalia, what he has been doing since we last saw him or ask about his friends, he seems to just stand there like a statue. And the look on his face looks like he had just seen a ghost or something.”
Then Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack and put her thoughts into the conversation, “If that’s it, then maybe we should try to get him out of Stalia.”
Then Fluttershy pointed out, “But he and his friends are part of The Elements of Protection. Not only that, but Princess Celestia ordered him and him to learn lessons on friendship. Besides, Knight said it himself back when he and his friends fought Celestia’s evil clone, Knight wanted to stay in Stalia with his friends. He wouldn’t want to be taken away from them or the town.”
Then Rainbow Dash said, “Then how come he keeps acting all weird like every time we ask something about Stalia or his friends then?”
Then Applejack said, “Well… perhaps Fluttershy is right, maybe Knight doesn’t want to leave his friends or Stalia. Besides, I’m sure if he had any problems whatsoever with them or the town, he would come to us or Princess Celestia for help.”
Then rainbow Dash said to end the conversation, “I suppose you’re right. But that still doesn’t explain why he’s acting that way.”
Well, they whispered all of that while I was still standing in a trance like state, Pinkie just fooling around with me just staring off into deep space, Rarity confused as to what is happening, and Twilight having a look that says that she was thinking about something.
Well, I would come to them for help… but may god have mercy on their souls if they tried to help. But besides, I don’t think the universe would want me to go away from them or Stalia.
That and too many things have come up like Neon and Craig. Then there’s the fact sometimes we do enjoy being friends while at other times we’re not so much friends. But nonetheless, I do enjoy it sometimes when we do hangout… just as long as shit doesn’t get out of hand, it’s alright with me.
Anyways, I was then out of my trance of the memoires of the past and saw that everyone was just doing their own thing until Twilight spoke up and broke the silence of… nothing.
Twilight then said to everypony, “I’ve got an idea, why don’t we spend the day together tomorrow with Knight’s friends?”
Then Rainbow Dash had a smile on her face and she said, “Yeah! That sounds like a great idea. We could spend some time together and maybe even try to get to know one another.”
Then Pinkie spoke up, “And maybe after that, we could hang out together like every day! We could have parties together, sleepovers, parties, picnics, parties… oh and parties!”
Everyone was smiling at her, even I was, although it was fake smile because deep down I knew that if we were to have parties together, all of them would suffer a painful death due to the fact that when Neon goes to a party, he makes sure you never forget.
Then again I might be speaking a hyperbole there because it wouldn’t be all that bad. However it certainly would not be a family friendly type of a party, it would be an adult type of party, which we are all adults but the girls didn’t seem to be much for adult parties too much.
Maybe a little bit, but they would prefer something more calm and where anyone could have fun. With me and the guys, well… we were different than the Elements of Harmony. We did things our way and our way is fucked up like shit like… well I’m sure you get the point by now.
However, I don’t know how we would all become friends if we were nothing alike, but then again we are a ticking time bomb, so why not go ahead and just kill off the mane six with the ticking time bomb. Then we could blame it on a zebra.
Anyways, after Pinkie said that, Twilight said, “Oh Pinkie, you do love your parties.”
Then she said to her, “Of course I do Twilight, I love to throw parties because they make everypony smile!”
Then Applejack interrupted Pinkie and she said to the rest of the girls, “I’m sorry for interrupting your conversation and all, but I just wanted to point something out. Now I’m all for the idea for all twelve of us hanging out together… but there is no way in Equestria that I will be around Mac Farmer for a minute!”
Then everyone was confused and I then spoke up and said to them all, “If you’re confused, she is saying that one of my friends is Mac Farmer, a cousin of hers. However, years ago they had an argument of whatever they had, and it soon turned into a huge argument, leading Mac to be shunned away from the Apple Family forever. However he does have a little brother named Shadow Eclipse that is always welcome to the Apple Family, but long story short, Mac does not want Shadow near the Apple Family, specifically Applejack here. I would go into detail as to how he really hates Applejack, but I rather not say.”
Then Applejack gave a little bit of a grunt and she said to me, “I suppose Mac told you all of this?”
I then said to her, “Yup, that and I could tell what he was doing sometimes, but like I said, I rather not say. Besides, I think I would be in trouble with Mac already for talking to you. I mean… if he saw any of his friends or close relatives talking to you, he will go… crazy.”
Then Applejack said to me, “Figures, Mac has always been like that ever since we had our fight. And god knows what he does with his brother Shadow. For all that is right, he should give me his little brother because he is not fit to be a brother at all, not what I’ve seen him done.”
I then looked at her and asked her, “So you know that he has a barn that is secretly a torture facility to get information out of other ponies that know you so he could basically kill you and the rest of the Apple Family as well. Along with having the best apples as he says… in other words just jacking off and covering his apple in his own cum.”
Then Apple Jack had surprised eyes and she asked me, “Uhh… what?”
I then said very quickly, “Nothing.”
Twilight then asked Applejack, “Well, did you ever try to resolve your argument?”
Then Applejack said, “Well I did try to do that, in fact I tried many of times. However just like I said, he’s stubborn like a mule. He won’t listen and grow up. So I won’t be here tomorrow because unless he’s not going to be with us, I’m not spending a single minute with him.”
Then Twilight brought up, “Well, maybe we could split up half and half, where you be in one group while Mac is in the other. Could you deal with that?”
Then Applejack put a hoof on her chin and thought for a while and she then said, “Alright, I reckon I could deal with that, but only if he is with the other half of the group.”
Then Twilight looked at me with a smile and asked, “So, what do you think of that Knight?”
I then thought for a while and came to the conclusion and told them, “Sure, we could do that.”
I say yes is because like I said, since me and my friends are like ticking time bombs, we might as well just do it.
Twilight then said, “Then it’s settled, we’ll all hang out together tomorrow.”
All the girls smiled and nodded their heads as they agreed with one another.
Then Rainbow Dash blurted out, “Maybe we could hang out in Stalia, I never really been to Stalia except for the short time during Winter Wrap Up and that time we congratulated Knight and his friends for defeating Celestia’s evil clone.”
Then they all stared at me and Twilight asked, “Well, how about it Knight?”
I then went back into a trance and into a flashback during the Stalia parade not too long ago.
A FLASHBACK TO THE PARADE THAT IS NARRATED BY A WHITE GUY...
It was a sunny day over the town of Stalia. Everypony here was up and about. Parents were smiling along with their children. Kids could not keep themselves under control as a parade was going on.
There were even stallions at the bar, drinking away and looking at other mare’s asses while their angered wives wonder if they should cut their throats later that night for looking at another female. Then in the end, they would have make up sex and rinse and repeat.
Then there was also dead bodies being ran over by the floats, as their bodies being smashed by the floats that weighed tons. The parade of Stalia was only one day out of the year and was dedicated to just have fun despite wanting to burn Ponyville to the ground and rape all of them such as babies raping babies and children raping hobos and hobos raping children as the planets hump each other through the night.
Knight and his friends were among the many watchers of that day’s parade. Knight didn’t look excited at all while the others were just minding their own business. However, Neon was a little extra happy and jumpy that day. Knight noticed it and looked at him for a bit. His interest had been peaked as to what he was seeing and couldn’t help himself but ask what Neon was planning to do as Knight could tell from his body language.
Knight asked Neon, “Neon… please don’t tell me you’re going to do something that gives everyone AIDS.”
Then Neon looked at Knight as he kept jumping and happiness filled his heart with glee, “Nope.”
Then Neon got in front of the third parade float that was about to pass him and his friends. When that happened, the float crashed and other events that followed that cannot be described for it was… it was… very… satanic. As Knight and his friends watched in horror as to what Neon was doing, there was an announcer for the city and he was speaking over the intercom.
He had said as to what he was seeing, “Om my dear Celestia! A green neon pony jumped in front of a float and the float is burning in flames! Oh the horror! I cannot see if anyone is inside or not, I can see some eye balls and livers all over the place. And… and… what is this? Oh… no… no... NO… No! Oh my dear lord, I’m afraid the fourth float was redirected by the green neon pony into a building filled with orphans! Oh the humanity! And now the green neon pony is giving them AIDS! Oh the shear horror of this sight. Oh my lord... folks… now the pony is doing something else that I am afraid I cannot describe that… I’m afraid… I’m going to… throw… up…”
The announcer threw up all over the place, in which it got a point where he simply puked to death. However, there is one thing I can say that Neon did, he gave a bunch of abandoned babies that was left when everypony fled Super Childhood Cancer AIDS, in which they flew up to the moon and started to hump the moon non-stop while Jesus and a zebra watched and drunk a martini.
But it could have been worse that day. That day is when a spit in the time occurred. Somewhere in some other universe, Neon did more than crash the parade. Neon on an alternate path exploded. And it wasn't a simple, small little self contained explosion, but rather a metaphorical one. One where the entire fate of the entire country of Equestria, let alone the world was no longer alive. A path where all was lost. And it turned into Neon's World. But good thing he didn't explode in this time... right?
That was the flash back of the events Knight recalled from his past. And now I must leave for a while, for narrating is not for a white guy to do, but instead for a black guy’s job to do.
BACK TO KNIGHT...
Oh… the humanity what I saw that day.
I then looked at Twilight and stared at her and said while getting close to her face with wide eyes, “If you truly appreciate and want to protect your own soul… you will do exactly what I say and not go to Stalia… ever…”
Then Rainbow Dash budged into what I was saying and she said to me with a disappointed look on her face with a hint of sadness in it, “But I want to visit Stalia. It looks cool and I’ve heard the town of Cloud City where their pegasi makes their weather looks awesome.”
I then sighed and said to them, “Alright, how about this then to be safe, one half goes to Stalia for the first half of the day and the second comes here. Then halfway through the day, we switch to make it fair.”
Then Twilight smiled at me and she said, “Yeah, that sound like a great idea Knight! Then near the end of the day while Celestia is lowering the sun and Luna is rising the moon, I have a special idea that we could do.”
Then Applejack had a really angered look on her face and pounded on of her hooves on the table and said to me, “Did you hear what I just said not longer ago!? I said I ain’t spending one minute with Mac around!”
I then looked at Applejack and said to her with an annoyed face, “Look, Applejack, can you just let this one go. I mean it’s not like you’re spending the entire day with him. That and I’m too tired to argue about this and make a compromise about this due to my lack of sleep last night.”
Then Twilight looked at me and she said, “Rough night?”
I then looked at her and said, “Yeah… you could say something like that… if doing drugs with someone who was a jerk… or an asshole most of the time that is, randomly flew in the sky and crashed into a house, having that guy scar a kid for life, go to a bar and then break into some place that later turned out to be… well I rather not say but let’s just say it was… odd.”
Then they all looked at me funny and Pinkie asked me, “Whoa… what did you do last night Knight… got it… night Knight!”
Then she started to giggle around and landed on her back and laughing as loud as she could as she saw that as to be funny. Well, everypony then just decided to let that slip by as I’m sure as they were wondering why Pinkie was laughing just to homophones… or at least it’s homophones… I don’t know and I really don’t care what it’s called, you get the point.
However Applejack then looked at me and rolled her eyes at me and she said, “Fine, I’ll deal with Mac near the end of the day tomorrow, I just rather not be close to him though.”
I then nodded my head and started to walk with Wolf who surprisingly wasn’t paying any attention at all as to what we were talking about. In fact, I could tell the dead straight look on his face that he was concentrating on getting off again instead of talking to the girls.
He just stared deep into the distance as if everything that existed didn’t exist to him. In fact, he was like that all the way home. Well, as Pinkie continued to laugh while Rainbow Dash and Rarity was distracted by that along with Twilight nodding as well to the plan we all agreed to do and Applejack just wondering off in her own mind and Fluttershy being… shy, I walked off.
As I was walking away from the table I said to them all, “I’ll see you all tomorrow, if not hell.”
They didn’t hear the hell part, but they did hear the first part though. However I then stopped and turned around because I then heard a couple of guards come up to Twilight. One of the guards said to her while he and the other guard was holding that hobo guy I talked to earlier.
The guard said, “Your majesty, we found this pony here trying to break into your home. What should we do with him?”
Twilight had a confused look on her face and was trying to think as to what to do.
She then said, “Well… uh… I’m not sure. I’ve never been in this position before. I suppose take him back to Cantorlot and tell what happened to Princess Celestia and Luna.”
Then the guard said while bowing his head, “Yes your majesty.”
They then went walking off to Cantorlot, possibly to the train station and what not while the hobo guy was struggling to break free. He was then saying out loud, “This is a mistake! I was framed I tell you! It was a Zebrea that did it! He was a Zebra I tell you… A ZEBRA!”
After that, Wolf and I walked home by using the same trail as before. Since I saw the look on his face and knew he was too busy of thinking with his dick at the moment, I decided to go to the bar and would most likely meet the guys there as well since they mostly go to the bar on most days.
However, as soon as we got into town, I brought Wolf back home so he could concentrate on touching himself. It took no more or less than thirty minutes tops. When we entered through town, the sun was starting to set and Luna’s bright moon was preparing to shine through the lonely night.
We entered into the town, saw some ponies packing up their shops and businesses for the night. Some kids were still playing while others were going back home for dinner. Some ponies had just gotten off of work, some mad and some happy to go back to their families.
However, I also saw some young couples going out, as if it was a date for them. Some friends coming out in groups to enjoy the night away to their hearts content. Some couples were heading towards a nearby nation park or also known as Love’s Peak that is basically a nearby mountain/cliff place where lovers come and go, some do it with condoms and some don’t, so there would be jizz every where the next morning.
Some abandoned babies, some unborn fetuses, although Slenderfetus would go and pick up the remains from what some have reported of sightings of Slenderfetus.
Where, on the way back home to my library home, I saw a lovely couple working towards Love’s Peak and wondering to myself, ‘So then… I suppose those two lovers will go to Love’s Peak and… GET IT ON… or perhaps something more SINISTER! ... Maybe they are going to do something sinister like up there… I wonder what… perhaps… fucking each other so hard that it destroys the universe… my god that is pure evil. Although you know what is more pure evil than that… eating a marshmallow… my god you would have to be Satan if you were to do that. Although dominating the planet is like nothing… that is so ten years ago.’
Well, Wolf and I eventually reached our home and I opened him the door and he walked inside.
Before I closed the door, Wolf turned around and said to me, “Thanks buddy… I didn’t know how much longer I could hold it in… I was afraid I was going to have to cum on those girls faces… and then eventually having a six-some.”
Then looked at him straight into his eyes and said, “Sure buddy, don’t mention it… oh and please use the bathroom, I don’t want your cum smell when I come back.”
I then shut the door on him and headed towards the bar. It didn’t take long before I saw the near the outskirts of Stalia and found the bar. A sign was lit up in neon colors and I headed inside. The building was always the same, it’s always grey color on the outside of it other than a bunch of windows, but the inside was great. When I entered, it felt familiar and fresh to me.
Some old country music was playing in the background, there was some poor bastards in the back of the bar, trying to drink their depression away while others were just having fun. I saw my friends at the bar stool, so I went over there and sat next to Arrell.
I then asked him as to seeing some of my friends missing, “So… Arrell… where’s Mac, Forest, and Jack at now?”
Arrell took a sip of beer, while at the same time I saw in the corner of my eye the bartender brought me a glass of beer as well along with a shot glass and a tequila bottle as well for later.
Arrel looked at me after he took a swig at his drink and said to me, “Mac is busy being a dumbass again and got drunk again. When I visited him earlier, he was talking to the trees again.”
As to what he meant by that, well I’m sure you know what he meant, but I later saw what he was saying. Mac was standing outside in the middle of the same night under Luna’s stars and he was yelling out loud and standing very much like a drunk person would be standing.
He was then yelling at a tree, “You think you’re better than me tree!? Well I’ll show you piece of worthless shit that no pony would buy at the black pony market that has no relations in any way towards zebras!”
Mac then backed up and started to ram the truck of the tree, in which case he knocked himself out upon impact of hitting the tree.
Anyways, Arrell continued to say, “Then Forest is out trying to break into Rainbow Dash’s home and jack off to her while she’s sleeping, might even cum on her face for jacking off so much, I wish him luck on that because obviously that is one way to show you’re a real stallion. Then Jack is off hiring an assassin because not too long ago, a critic came by to rate his work and the critic gave him a point five out of ten (.5/10). I have no idea when he will be back.”
I then looked over to Neon right besides Arrell while Arrell was trying to finish up his drink and Neon was smiling at me.
He then said to me, “I’m on my fifth thousandth beer right now…”
Arrell then looked at me and he said, “Yup… and Neon also killed a bunch of bunnies for me too that was defective.”
I then asked, “How so?”
He then said to me, “They were trying to form a bunny union and a revolution, so I killed them before they give an idea to the other animals.”
I then looked at him and he looked a little depressed.
I then asked him, “Then why do you look depressed then?”
He then told me, “I’m just really bored right now… that and a little bit drunk.”
Then a bar tender gave him another round of beer, in which he took a sip of the new glass.
I then went ahead and started to drink mine, in which I got around to one-fourth of finishing my glass.
I then said to Arrell, “Well, I need to talk to you and Neon and Jack if he gets back soon enough.”
Then Jack came walking through the door, whistling a tune of delight with blood and guts all over his face. He came to our direction and sat right next to my right while the bartender gave him a beer.
He then smiled at us and he asked us, “What’s up?”
He then took a swig at his beer and when he was finished, he breathed out calmly.
I then said, “So… I’m guessing your assassination plans went according to plan then?”
Then Jack looked at me with a continuous smile and said, “Nope… it turns out the assassin that I hired was a double agent and was really working for the critic and turned on me at the last second. However, the jokes on him, I hired another assassin to kill the assassin that would betray me and when the assassin that killed the first assassin was finished with the job… then I killed the other assassin that I hired to kill the first assassin that I hired. This all happened by the way on a very rocky cliff away somewhere in the woods where the critic was living at and I was going to kill him from a distance. I then went down and broke into the critic’s house, saw him sleeping on the couch while listening to classical music from long ago."
A shadow started to overcome Jack's face, almost as if the sun was being blocked despite this all being on the inside. So I guess that would mean the light was starting to go out in a weird way. And underneath his eyes, he started to have dark circles form like he was all fucked in the head and was starting to go crazy. His was voice was getting lower in tone as if he was some kind of diabolical villain that was cracking and going insane. And as for me and Arrell... we just sat there drinking our beers casually. None of this was phasing us at all. Well it was to me a bit, my eyes did open up just a tad, but nothing new to me, mostly because of Neon.
Jack continued to speak to us, "I then grabbed him and woke him up, put a knife to his face while I gave him a nice wide smile that was like me laughing at him. I then looked at him when as I was slowly cutting his face off, ripping every part of his skin and choking him with his own intestines while force feeding his own black heart that he had and shoved the balls that he had to give me a poor rating. And to top it all off, I gouged his eyes out with a pair of dull scissors. After that, I went ahead and burned the body in the back yard while wearing his face as a mask and waited for his family to come home. He had a very kind and gentle wife along with two small kids, both being young colts, and they all they thought I was him for a while and they were wondering what I was doing. I then told them I’m making barbecue, although they wondered why meat since of course we don’t eat meat."
I was starting to not really care about what Jack was saying at the time. As for Arrell, he started to look a bit worried for Jack while he raised one eye brow on his left eye. He seemed a bit confused at first, but then somewhere deep down, he was concerned for him and his sanity. As for Jack though, the darkness was slowly over growing him, as his words and tone started to become darker and darker by the ever passing second. In a weird way he started to turn sideways metaphorically, as he became twisted with his descriptions about the bodies that he mutilated. And somewhere in his mind it was even more twisted than the words that was coming from out of his own mouth.
‘ I then lied to them and told them it was a spice some expert chefs made as an illusion that it was meat, but it isn’t though. I then cooked their dead father, cut him into pieces and served his family to him as I watched every bit of it. I then revealed myself to them, in which they then went running into the mother’s bedroom, but that didn’t stop me as I rammed into the door and broke it off its hinges. I then went ahead to repeatedly stab them all to death and setting them on fire. I then walked away and randomly decided to kill whoever I saw that I didn’t know in the next hour or so… that’s what happened.”
I then looked at him and I took another sip of my beer and it was about half way through.
I then said to him in a very calm voice, “Well then…I’m sure maybe you could write a book for kids about the stallion that murdered a critic. I’m sure you would get awards for writing such a children’s book.”
Then Jack said a took out a copy of several page from out of nowhere and slammed it down on to the counter top with his right hoof; along with a shit eating grin on his face and glowing eyes at us, “I’m way ahead of you. I’ve got the manuscripts written already and have the illustrations as well. I even have a publisher known as The High Lion Books. When I went to meet the owner of the company, who was literally a lion, he was smoking weed and said to me, ‘Yo dude… your story is like… a lot about peace man… I want to publish your work so kids could get like… morals and stuff… I think I ate a razor blade.’ He then took a razor blade out of his mouth and started to cut himself with it. Thirty minutes later, he tried to hang himself… and I watched it all... every last bit of it. It was enjoyable actually. I might even have a sequel. All I need is the next critic to give it a low rating, say one out of ten, then I’ll go to his house and have a little “fun” with him.”
Then there was a moment of silence between us . Arrell was looking a little worried and had an odd look on his face. as for me, I had a mellowed out look on my face and didn't seem to care too much about what Jack had to say.
I then stared at him blankly, “Well good for you, I’m sure orphans would love to read that story.”
I then took another drink and was three-forth of the way through, while at the same time Jack took another sip of his beer.
After he had swallowed his beer in his mouth, he then said to me, “I’m sure too, then they will all be thanking me for it as well.”
All I’m going to say here is that it looked like Jack was starting to have a mental break down when they talked negative about him, and he will go as far as to kill you if you did. However, other than that, he was a pretty normal, douchebag like guy most of the time.
Anyways, I then said to him along with the other two, “Well, I do have some news for you all. Although I wish we could get the other two so they can listen as well, but I’m sure we could just either tell them in the morning or force them to go.”
Then Arrell asked me, “So we’re all going to go an rob some high security type place tomorrow?”
Then I said, “Nope.”
Arrell then said with a disappointing face, “Dam it! I wanted to rob some shit…I know my robbing days are over, but I still have an urge to rob something. Sometimes I do wish it was like the good old days with me and Asshat, because we did some pretty good heists me and him before I met you and the others. Oh well, perhaps another time. But then again, they weren’t all happy times I should say, but never mind about that. Continue.”
I then said while finishing my beer, “Sure, why not, I’m used to doing weird shit by now. Anyways, I wanted to say that I went over to Ponyville earlier today and talked to The Elements of harmony.”
Then Jack stopped me and he asked, “So…does that mean you found the town’s weak points so we can go in there and burn the village down and blame it on the zebras?”
I then said, “What is it with this town’s problem with Ponyville. No, we’re spending the day tomorrow with The Elements of Harmony.”
They then all looked shocked at me except for Neon because he was messing around with the juice box in the background and just playing some random old country music songs.
Arrell then said to me while I was trying to open my bottle of tequila, “Knight, they are our enemies! How dare you go up to them and try to make peace with them shame on you! Stalia doesn’t make peace, we make violence happen and make shit happen… and blame it on the zebras… those zebras and their… fancy zebra stuff. They even look at us funny.”
I then looked at them and said to Arrell, “First off, a few zebras are living in town. Second, I’m not trying to make peace with them, we’re just friends. Not best friends, but just friends and they really would like to get to know you guys better. Besides, I’m sure the princesses would not want war between the two elements have a war with each other. Besides, I’ve known them for a long time and you can trust me that they are not the enemy. You can continue to assume the town is your enemy, but I can assure you that the other elements are not after you guys… or trying to hurt you… or anything for that matter that you deem that should burn just like everything in this bloody town.”
I then took a big gulp from the tequila after I said all of that.
Then Jack said, “But… but… it’s our logic… and our opinion.”
Then I said to them, “Your opinion doesn’t matter you dumbass. Besides, I have my problems as well. We all have our problems, so suck it up and do it and stop being a bunch of whining bitches for once.”
Then Arrell slammed his hoof down on the counter as I continued to drink, he said to me with an anry look on his face, “Whining!? We’re not fucking whining! We’re just stating that we’re better than them… in which case they should burn for it.”
I then said to the both of them, “First off, shut the fuck up. Second of all, they are expecting you guys to do this, besides, you don’t need to be better than them. We, as the Elements of Protection don’t need to be better than them. Hell, we don’t need nobody to know about us that we’re good as a team. No one even needs to know that we protect, that we fight, that we are stronger than the Elements of Harmony. Let the elements of harmony have their spotlight, besides, if we were better than them, would Equestria approve of us? Hell, they might even go to war with us, which is fine, I’ve been through worse and don’t mind going to war with this damn planet."
I started to stand on my metaphorical soap box by this point.
I continued to drone on with to the guys, "I’ll even kill god if I have to, then we’ll see who is stronger. What I’m trying to say is that we don’t need anyone, or pony for that matter to know that we exist. For fuck’s shake they don’t even know what we do, they just think along with the princesses that we just learn lessons about friendship, which we never do. I’m even supposed to write a letter to Princess Celestia about what I’ve learned, but all I did was copy what Twilight said but tweaked it so it is like it was written by me. It’s only because what do we learn?"
I was going on and on about stuff that I'm not sure if I one hundred percent knew what I was talking about. I was kind of coming it all up on the fly as I talked. I was just got of tired of the guys whining about the other team is all. It was kind of getting on my nerves. I mean I get it... they're the rivals, but doesn't mean you need to be someone from Twitter about it.
I went on and on my soap box with, "Nothing, but we’re a good team when we can all get along and work together, and you know what? That is something that this world doesn’t need to know, all they need to know is that someone is protecting them, someone or something stronger than the elements of harmony. Or, they might think it is the elements of harmony who has helped them or they might not even know what goes on in our adventures, even though not much has happened yet but I can tell that something will happen in the future, something big."
I kept going on and on and yeah... maybe I shouldn't have. But I felt like I needed to get my point across to the guys... just like how Twilight would. Now that I think of it, maybe there was a little bit more going on than just the episodes being put on repeat. Hmmm... nah... I'm just over thinking it in my head. It's all in my head, just like the pyramids and the triangles and covering my one eye to honor Horris. It's all in the mind. Just like when all the planets align and... a blue blood moon appears... and ever tard in the word spergs out. Yeah...
Anyways, I continued to say to the guys, "In the end, there is no point for us to have fame or let anyone know about us. It doesn’t matter if no one knows about us, just let them figure it out for themselves. However, that is just for us. If this town wants to go and fight Ponyville, then by all means this town and Ponyville going to war would be the end of Equestria if I don’t say so myself, but if that happens, which it might, just remember that it doesn’t matter who wins, all that matters is that… well nothing really. Nothing matters, but not really though, just try to remember that it doesn’t matter if we’re better than them, what matters is that no one needs to know about it. As long as we're living and breathing at the end of the day, then we win."
The guys surprisingly kept on listening to me despite how long my little unnecessary speech was towards them. Every word I said clanged to their little pony ears as they just gave me a weird stare at me. Arrell had his left eyelid halfway down, looking like he was confused about something. Meanwhile with Jack, the darkness that was metaphorically there was pretty much gone by that point and he just looked like his usual self. Almost like him talking about his critics kind of put him into a weird state of darkness that you usually don't see from him even though he can be a bit of an asshole at time.
I ended my little soap box speech to them with, "‘Besides, let this world think what it wants to think, it will all burn down in the end, and when Equestria is in flames and everyone is running for their lives and hoping that their souls don’t burn, you know that it was Equestria that burned it down to ashes, for we sometimes make mistakes that ends up killing ourselves, and honestly, I don’t even care. For me, I'm just trying to live like any other animal and try to survive and it's the others fault if they burn themselves.”
Then the both of them just stared at me with surprised looks upon their faces.
Arrell then said with an open mouth, “Whoa… I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded pretty cool and important though.”
Then Jack looked at me curiously and asked, “How did you come up with that?”
I then said, “From watching the ending of The Dark Knight, one of the last lines in it.”
Then Jack looked confused and he asked, “Who?”
I then said while not making eye contact and drinking my tequila, “He’s some guy who dresses up as a bat every night and becomes a rapist and a racist.”
Then Neon came up from behind and yelled out, “Yeah, I love rapists and racism! KEEP THE DIFFERENT AWAY FROM MY WATER FOUNTAINS! LET THE RACE WAR BEGIN! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”
I then said back to him, “Of course you do Neon, of Course… so do I… now we can we relate to each other a little bit more… the racist part, not the rapist part though. I mean… I have my boundaries Neon.”
After I said that, Arrell then said, “Alright, we’ll do it, even though I didn’t get what you said, but like I said, it sounded cool what you said. So for whatever reason we’re all going to trust you now and go with your idea just because you said something that didn’t make sense. Me and Jack we’ll get Mac tomorrow, Neon can handle telling Forest in the morning since those two hang mostly.”
Odd, I feel like he mostly hangs out with me. I then told the two of them, “Alright then, we’ll meet up in the middle of the trail between the two towns. I’ll let Twilight know by sending her a letter or something like that, you know if Wolf isn’t jacking off or something like that.”
Anyways, after I said that, Arrell finished his drink and got up. As he was doing that, he said, “Well, I’m going to hit the hay… and then possibly force all of my animals to fuck the pile of hay I have for them later. Then maybe I can have hay babies. Well, good night you sad sack of shits.”
Then Arrell went outside to go home and go to sleep… and possibly have a bunch of animals fuck a bunch of hay I suppose.
Jack then said while putting his drink down, “It looks like I have to go too Knight. I’ll see you two guys in the morning. I’ll also see you later too bartender that I have no clue what your name is.”
Then the bartender said to him Jack was leaving, “My name is Bar Hope you douchebag, you never remember my name.”
Then Jack said right before he went out the door, “Sure, whatever you say you nameless bastard.”
Then Jack left and Bar said, “I wish I had the balls to hang myself… oh well, at least I still have my business here. Well, I see you tomorrow Knight, now if you excuse me, I need to steal these suicidal pony’s money and possibly rape their dead bodies when they kill themselves.”
Then Bar left and Neon was then looking at me.
I then said to him as he was staring into my soul, “Well… this is odd. Why do you keep hanging around me Neon?”
Then Neon said, “We are buddies Knight, I mean we did create the universe together didn’t we… and also singed out hearts when it rained shit in your house that one time?”
I then said, “That was you, now if you excuse me, I shall go home and get drunk once more.”
I then got up while taking my bottle of tequila with me and walked out while Neon was also going to rape alongside with Bar Hope. I then walked towards my home in the middle of the night as the stars was out high in the sky. Luna’s moon helped me walk my path and a safe travel as well to light my path in the darkness.
Darkness, it seems to me it was the only thing that I ever knew, the only thing that kept me sane most of my life. It seemed to be the only friend that ever knew my entire life. It seems I had a bond with it within my very soul. It was as if it was insanity. Then again, we all need insanity to live one way or another.
Well, I eventually reached my home, opened the door to my library home and everything was dark except for the living room light.
I closed the door behind me and I yelled out, “Wolf! Are you here!”
Everything was silent and not a single sound was made. I headed upstairs and into my room, turned on the light, and started to look around. What I saw was a few cum spots on his bed but no trace of him was in sight.
I had assumed that he just went up and headed back to Princesses Molestia’s universe to get off some more, but those two really do have something in common with each other and that’s just getting off. Anyways, I then put my hat and satchel on a rack nearby my door, turned off the light, and collapsed on my bed. I then soon enough feel asleep.
That night I did dream of something, I dreamed of Faustiorn again. However, unlike the last few times, it didn’t bother me at all, which was due to the thing that I made after the events in Manehatten the second time around. This time, I was outside of the home.
In fact, it looked like heaven as I said once before. I was a ghost once more, because ponies were passing through me as they were walking towards the castle. It was as if they were going to some sort of party there.
There were buildings upon clouds, and it looked like a wealthy area as well because there were some rich ponies out and about. However it was late at night and I could see the stars outside under a full moon. Not only that but I was in front of a castle as well. I was standing outside of the caste, dazed and confused. I honestly had no idea what I was doing here or what was happening. I then felt a presence behind me. I then heard a voice, a similar voice to the night before that was in my room.
The voice said, “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight Knight.”
My ears then perked up for I was a bit startled. I turned around to see the very same thing that was in my room last night, but without any clue that it was in my room the night before.
I then said, “Uhhh… who are you and why am I here?”
Then the bi-pedal thing said to me, “I’m asking the very same thing. Honestly you’re not even supposed to be here at all. I’m unsure why your soul is in heaven now.”
I then asked him, “What do you mean my soul?”
Then the bi-pedal creature then said to me, “Well, I’m assuming you fell asleep, however you’re not asleep right now. Your body is, but your soul is right now in heaven, although what dumbfounds me is how no other soul here can see you. However they can’t see me either and I suppose with you being here would make sense.”
I then said to him, “You’re not making sense right now.”
Then the bi-pedal creature said to me, “I’m not trying to make sense. If I was to ever make sense, what purpose is there to life then may I ask? Or what would be the point of anything really?”
I then looked around me and saw Faustricorn walking out and starting to greet ponies going inside the castle. I could hear her faint motherly voice from afar, it felt so calm and peaceful to my ears, that my heart for some reason started to soar.
Then the bi-pedal creature saw who I was looking at and he said to me, “I see you’re looking at god, or whom I like to call Mother F.”
I then snickered at that and said to myself, “He he… mother F…. sounds like Mother Fucker to me… he he… ”
Then the Bi-Pedal creature sighed and said, “You really need to work on being a proper gentlecolt.”
I then looked at him and said, “What is that supposed to mean?”
The Bi-pedal creature then said back to me, “Oh Knight, do you not understand? A proper gentlecolt like yourself should never say such a thing, especially towards her. She is god after all, a well respected one as well. And it is also very rude to say such a thing to a lady like her, for a gentlecolt never says anything like that all unless otherwise. Furthermore, I know for a fact that you are Celestia’s personal student and I would hope that she would have taught you some good manners and… are you even listening to me?”
I then looked at him but at the same time looking past him, as if I dazed out and shit and was pretty much half concentrating on him and his voice.
I then said, “You kind of lost me there, although I did here on the first half of what you said. All I want to say is I don’t give two shits if it’s rude. I mean I’ve already pissed off like two or three gods already, why not another one?”
Then the Bi-pedal creature said to me, “So you do not have any clue then I see.”
“So it seems not everything is going according to plan,” as he said under his breath.
He then continued to say, “Look, she is god in this realm and has lived over fifty thousand years. She has been through much and is very wise and a kind ruler. She even has been through many tough times, times that I will not even speak of because it is not the right time to discuss such a thing here. She even has two very wise and well-respected daughters that you may also know as Celesita and Luna. And I’m sure you should also know that she has the three laws that all ponies shall always obey, and if acted against these three specific laws will act in said offender’s soul to be destroyed by herself, her majesty, Mother F. One of the three laws is to never, ever, in all of eternity, to never have a single drop of blood shed from her children. Even if you do such a thing on Earth, she will sense it and will hunt you down forever until you are caught and have your soul ripped apart.”
I had zoned after he had said Mother F for a second time and started to snicker a bit more while he continued to talk, however he then noticed that again I wasn’t paying any attention to him.
He then said to me, “Knight, Will you listen to me for one damn second?!”
I then stopped my laughter and said to him, “Look, I already knew Celestia and Luna was her daughter… kind of… but not really though. And if you haven’t noticed, since you kind of know my name so I’m suspecting you’re a fucking pervert or in other words for a “proper gentlecolt,” a peeping tom. Well, if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m figured out that she has a third child that is a son that is named Inca. I am trying to find him but I have no idea where to start.”
After I said the name Inca, the Bi-pedal creature then looked at me, but not if I was crazy, but instead he looked intrigued by what I found out, or knowing that a third child existed at all.
He then said to me, “Oh really, and I suppose you’re going to try and not rest until you found the third child I assume?”
I then said, “Nah, I’ve got other things to do, but if anything comes up like a lead to his whereabouts or anything like that, I’ll surely take a look into it. But for now I’ve got other problems that are far more important to me than finding a brother for the two royal sisters, besides, I don’t really care much about that. Sure, I don’t the royal sisters or Mother F to be harmed or anything, but aside from that I don’t give two flaming shits about them. Anyways, can I ask who the hell are you? I mean how do you know my name or anything of that matter? And why are you here with me?”
He then looked around for a bit, looked a tad bit tired and he finally said to me after a few seconds of silence, “Honestly from time to time I walk around in this ghostly form, just to check things out. I mean if anyone here were to see me like this, they would be scared and not understand what I am. As for who I am, I cannot talk about that information at this moment, but in good time you will know who I am and what I do. As for you being here, well, you’re just not supposed to be here, it’s simply a mistake, nothing more than that really. Heck, you weren’t even supposed to get those dreams of Mother F over there, all you were supposed to get is that one vision that you had on the couch.”
I then looked at him and I said, “You know something about the third child do you?”
He then looked at me, but this time with a grin across his dark but lightly lit face with stars and galaxies, “Yes, I certainly do. However, like I said, I cannot disclose any of that information at this current time. Later you will find out the truth as time goes by, but for now you have over stayed your welcome. I will be sending you back into your body and you will have no memories of this place at all, well, perhaps a few faint glimpses here and there, but nothing too serious.”
The Bi-pedal creature then raised his left arm, however I then stopped him and said, “Wait, before I do go, can I at least see what’s going on within the castle? I think I want to see it, I feel like… seeing what these type of ponies do at these types of parties, especially in heaven.”
He then lowered his left arm and said, “Oh very well then, if you wish to do so. Who knows, maybe it might give you an idea to be a proper gentlecolt, although if we’re going to do that, we’re going to have to make ourselves appear in physical form so others can see us. I’m going to use a little trick to give us false identities, but to everyone here, we’re two, dressed up, proper mannered gentlecolts, attending one of Mother F’s parties. However, to us we’re still the same as always. Think of it as an illusion of sorts like what you would see at a magic show.”
I then snickered once more and said to myself, “He he... Mother F… he he… ”
He then quietly said to himself, “Oh Knight, you poor fool, however your soul is salvageable, so I might as well give this plan a shot.”
He then raised his right arm and did the trick he had talked about. After he did his little trick, I looked at myself and we were no different, but other ponies could see us and walked around us as they were moving towards the entrance of the party. To us, we were the same, but to every other pony who saw us, we were well dressed gentlecolts for the party.
I was a unicorn with a grey coat and a stylish black mane apparently and wore a top hat. The Bi-Pedal creature was a black Pegasus with a white mane and wore a monocle. However that is what we looked like to heaven.
I looked at the Bi-pedal creature and he said, “Shall we proceed to the front entrance my good friend?”
Then he started to walk towards the front doors, in which I followed in his lead. We both walked up and as we got to the front door, I could see Fausticorn greeting other ponies in front of us to the party.
It didn’t look like you needed an invitation to go to this party at all, it had seemed to me anypony could come and go as they please. However, it seemed that Fausticorn didn’t matter if there was high class ponies at her party or not, granted it was mostly high class ponies that I saw of course, but it seemed to me is that if you knew the party existed, you could go to it.
Well, me and the Bi-pedal creature was up next to enter the castle, in which when Fausticorn saw us or in other words… he he… Mother F… he he… that never gets old, she said to us, “Good evening gentlecolts, welcome to the party. I am glad that you are here, although I am not sure if I have seen you around here before, do I know your names?”
She had said that in a motherly tone, although to my ears it was always sweet and kind as if it was familiar to me and I’ve always recognized that voice since I was a child, but of course I was completely blind into that subject.
The Bi-pedal creature then said to Fausticorn, “No you do not, we do not live around this ‘Area,’ however we had heard you were throwing a party and we had thought we were to see what all the fuss is about. Where are my manners, my name is Blitz Runner and this is my long time friend from my childhood days, Mr. Winters.”
Fausticorn had smiled while she looked at us and she then said, “It is a pleasure to meet you both and I am happy that you came here. I hope you two have a wonderful evening.”
Then the Bi-pedal creature said, “Yes, we will both make sure of that your majesty.”
The Bi-pedal creature then bowed down to her, in which I followed his lead once more and bowed down to her as well.
She then said in return for our respectful gesture, “Thank you.”
We then moved along and we went inside and I must admit, the interior was grand, it was nothing like I have ever seen before, or at least at that point. I have seen many amazing places, but this one was “Unique.”
There were many high class citizens everywhere, some dancing while others were talking, some were drinking booze while other enjoying the food that was being handed out or in this case, hoofed out, along with an excellent musical score of an orchestra playing in a far corner in the room.
The floors were shiny and it was a golden with a bit of white here and there while there was some carpet that was red. I had seen two sets of stairs leading to other parts of the castle, however guards where there in front of the steps, so I could assume that it wasn’t part of the party at all. Me and the Bi-pedal creature walked around for a bit, looked at others enjoying themselves while keeping silent to one another.
Eventually after a while, he finally spoke up and he asked me, “So, are you enjoying the party?”
I then said to him, “I’ll admit, it’s good, but I feel a bit off here.”
Then he asked me, “Why, what do you mean by a bit off?”
I then said to him, “Well, this place looks familiar to me but yet I haven’t seen this place before. I’ve seen other parts of the castle before from those… weird dream things or whatever they were that I had experienced, or at least I am assuming it was the castle that is.”
He then said, “It was certainly the castle indeed. However, now that you mention that you feel like you’ve been here before, can I take you to another part of this castle, perhaps the garden out back?”
I then said to him, “Sure, I guess. Why do you ask?”
Instead of answering my question, he teleported me and him to the gardens, however this time around no one noticed it and I looked at myself, so once again, I was like a ghost or something like that. However, when I looked up, the garden was somewhat beautiful in a way.
There were a few trees here and there, a table outside where I suppose Fausticorn would drink tea at or something like that. Then there was an entrance to a hedge maze, although I couldn’t see how big the maze is, but if I had to guess, it could be pretty big since she is god after all, although could be reasonably small if she wanted it to be that way. It really all depended on her opinion on certain things and her way of life.
The Bi-pedal creature then said to me, “So, may I ask does this feel like you have been here before or you’re just enjoying the scenery here?”
I nodded my head and said, “I don’t feel like I have been here before, but the night sky here is quite peaceful I might add.”
Then the Bi-pedal creature put a hand on his chin and thing thought for a moment or two and he then said to me, “Well, perhaps we should go ahead and try one more place, out of curiosity of course.”
He the teleported me and him again, but this time it was a place that I’ve seen before, Inca’s room. When we arrived in the room, it was dark, the door was closed, and it looked like nothing was changed or moved at all. It looked like if the room was there for Inca, but it looked like he just never came.
Then again it could be where Fausticorn likes it straighten up or perhaps she doesn’t even know this room exists, in which case the royal sisters has no clue that they do have a brother. Then again I did have second thoughts about this and I sometimes wonder if it was the fact that maybe what I saw was an alternate universe.
I could only guess, but my best guess at the time was to go along with the idea that Inca was part of this universe.
The Bi-pedal looked at me and waited for an answer from me, which I then spoke up and said, “I do remember this place, from those visions I had before. However, I also feel a sense of sadness and depression was in here, like a lost soul perhaps.”
The Bi-pedal creature then nodded and said to me, “I feel the same way.”
He then teleported me and him back outside where we first started at, in which of course we were still ghosts of course but eventually he said to me, “This is where we must part our ways Knight. I know you wasn’t here for that long, but at least you got to see a little bit of the castle you was curious about. And not only that, I’ve got a little bit more of an idea that I would like to think about later. So, before you wanted to go into the party, as I was saying before, I’ll send you back down to your body and you will have no memories, or maybe sort hazy glimpses at best, when you wake up. We will soon meet again Knight, in good time that is, and when we meet, everything will be clear to you.”
He then raised his right arm and I was sent back to my own body. The only reason why I remember this is because we did meet again and everything was clear to me later on in life. Anyways, I then went back to my body and just continued to sleep and had a typical dream as always.
This time around I dreamt of a bee fucking a horse while it was signing auto-tuned music.
When Celestia’s sun rose, I woke up, not wanting to wake up, however I recalled that me and my friends were going to hang out with the Elements of Harmony today and I was guessing that we were going to start early. I then opened my eyes slowly and took the covers off of me. I got up and went to the bathroom again, but this time there were no singing muffins coming out of Derpy’s asshole.
I took a piss and brushed my teeth, the usual bathroom morning stuff. I went out of the bathroom to grab my hat and satchel on the way out of my room. After that I headed down stairs to get some breakfast, but instead I found Wolf passed on the living room floor.
There were beer cans everywhere, along with a bunch of cum and lube stuff and some dildos here and there, along with other varieties of sex toys in other places scattered around the room. I walked up to Wolf and tapped him on the back with my left hoof, in which he then coughed up a cigar for some odd reason and moaned after as he was rubbing his head as he woke up with a headache.
He then said to me, “Knight, where am I?”
I then told him, “You’re back home. I suppose you either masturbated a lot in here or you just went all out with Molestia last night.”
Then Wolf told me, “Me and Molestia came here in the middle of the night and did it on the couch for a few hours or so, then she decided to go back home. Then I masturbated the rest of the night.”
I then asked him, “What about that cigar, you don’t smoke except for weed.”
Then Wolf explained to me, “Me and Molestia were doing a little S&M last night while you were asleep, and one of the things that she did was put a burnt cigar on my back while I was yelling the safety word a whole bunch.”
I then asked him, “What was the safety word?”
Then Wolf replied, “The safety word was ‘more’… now that I think about it, maybe I should have chosen a different safety word.”
I then sighed a bit and died a little inside as always and told Wolf, “Well, clean up the place, we have to get going. I guess I’ll just stop by the Party Store and rob them of one of their cupcakes or muffins or something.”
After I said that, Wolf got straight to cleaning up and I made sure he picked up and made the room somewhat clean. I mean the place wasn’t always clean, and it’s not clean. Hell, I believe when I first got the place, if you used some sort of specific lighting, you could see blood, AIDS, semen, and a possible dead body ghost lying around somewhere within the boundaries of the living room.
It’s like the room where Rob Snyder is strangled by a bunch of Illegal Mexicans and then have five potato chip bags shoved down his throat by a very angry Irish immigrant and then pays them to do it again while jacking off to it at the same time.
Anyways, after Wolf had cleaned up the place a bit, especially since I’m sure others would want to come over later that day, we headed towards the Party Store.
But before we did go, Wolf then said to me, “I’ll just stay here if you don’t mind Knight.”
I then said to him, “Are you sure Wolf? They would want to see you again, especially Fluttershy. Not sure why she loves to see you other than you talk and nice, well at least to her that is, but other than that I’m not sure why.”
Wolf then said to me, “I’m sure, I’ll just hang out here if you don’t mind.”
I then said to him, “Alright then, just don’t mess up the place.”
I then shut the door and headed outside while Wolf stayed behind. While I was walking, the sun was out and nice and bright, ponies were doing their business as usual.
It may have seen as an innocent little town like Ponyville, but if you dare mention a word about it, especially if you say that the town is great, they will burn you by the stake…and then call you a witch for no odd reason at all. Then while you are slowly burning away, they will throw stones at you and throw acid on your face… although the only good part about it is that while others are watching a pony being burned to death, Neon makes something happen, in which it pretty much kills the entire population of Stalia except for a few others like Dr. Wings or the Mayor.
Then by the next morning, the citizens are replaced from god knows where. I’m not sure if they just flocked into the town or Neon resurrected them or clones or anything like that, but there you go. Then by the next morning we all try to pretend that nothing ever happened, kill any witnesses from Ponyville if there is any, and I die a little inside. I headed for the middle of the path that we used yesterday to get to Ponyville.
A few minutes later, I started to see Arrell, Jack, and Mac in the middle of the path, standing there and waiting. I got up to them and Jack and Arrell were concentrating on trying to get Mac to stand up straight because apparently he was still drunk from last night.
I overheard Mac say to the both of them, “Where the fuck are we? Are you betraying me to the lords of the trees? Are you trying to rat me out or something?”
Then Arrell said to him, “No… no Mac, you’re in the middle of the forest?”
Then Mac said, “Forest, is that you? Come here you son of a bitch, you talked to Applejack yesterday and you got to pay… I think… a bit and a half of a crab’s asshole I think… where’s Applejack at… I want to fucking chop her head off and get my revenge dam it… and where’s that little shit Shadow at too so he can see how to be a real Stallion and follow in my hoof steps… and then I can bash his head in with the skull of Applejack and throw him to the birds and the bees.”
Then Jack said to Mac, “Applejack’s coming, she’ll be here along with the rest of her friends and you’ll see why soon.”
They then turned their head and finally noticed that I was standing there, listening on to everything that they were talking about.
Jack then said to me, “Oh… hey Knight, rough morning?”
I then said to him, “Sort of, it’s more or less rough night. I feel like shit right now and feel like I blacked last night. Maybe I drunk a little too much.”
Then Arrell said, “That’s nothing, I once beat Mrs. Sweet to a bloody pulp and raped her… then my animals also raped her too… then she made the most terrible animal hybrid abominations you would have ever seen in your life… and I made those thing breed as well. The moon babies came out and then decided to put a portal and conquer the third dimension of Glic… whatever that is… I think it’s a code for sex. All at night.”
I then stared at him for a few seconds, squinting my eyes at him, however, Twilight and her friends came started to walk up to us in a distance.
They were fairly close of course, but it was from a distance of… I don’t know…just a distance. Eventually they came up to us, with Twilight leading the group.
Twilight then stopped in front of Arrell and said with a happy smile, “Hey Knight, I hope we’re not late or anything.”
I then told her, “Yeah, you’re late, so for committing such an awful sin, you must bow down to the cow god… and ask for a cheese burger.”
Then Twilight and her friends were confused for a bit and a bit frightened, in which Twilight said, “Excuse me Knight?”
I then told her, “You’re and your friends are a disgrace to society, I hope you burn in hell.”
Twilight then said with an even more confused gaze at me, “I’m not following you Knight, what are we talking about here?”
I then told her, “Oh, don’t worry, there’s no need to follow, because I’m just giving you a taste what you will get today…. you bitch.”
Then Rainbow Dash blurted out, “I don’t get it! Are you saying we’re going to be called that by others in Stalia?”
I then said to her while giving out a sigh, “No look, it’s not what I said, it’s the way it came into the conversation…in other words random things will happen today and you may have a risk of death or not, but that depends on how everypony’s sanity is. Mine to tell you the truth is quite unstable right now while I’m afraid Neon is going to blow up the universe any time soon. He did it once before and he can do it can.”
Then Twilight said, “I get what you’re saying, but… what about blowing up the universe? I mean that would be impossible, unless of course that was intended for that to happen, in which the universe would be recreated by some strong force in which it creates life once more in an infinite loop, but shouldn’t we be living the same lives by now or… ”
I then cut her off and said, “Listen, that’s not important right now, the important thing is that random things will happen today and it won’t be pretty at all.”
Then Pinkie came running up to me with a big smile on her face and said out loud, “I love random! So many fun things can happen if things were random! Oh… maybe we can spin the party wheel I brought with me and we can have random games while other random things happen at the same time! Oh it’s going to be a fun today!”
Then Rainbow Dash shook her head with a little smile on her face and said, “That’s Pinkie Pie for you.”
I then gently pushed her away from me and then told her, along with the rest of them, “Yeah… that’s not the type of random I’m talking about. I’m talking about a different type of random that you might or might not find interesting, depending if you’re alive or not after today that is, but if you’re dead then we’ll burry you somewhere and some animal will probably rape it or something like that and piss on your grave while drinking a bloody pint of your blood… beer… ”
Then Twilight giggled a bit and said to me, “Oh Knight, I’m sure your friends won’t be that bad. Me and my friends have been through some weird and wild adventures, I’m sure we’ll be just fine today.”
Then out of nowhere, Neon was dragging Forest’s body that was trying to fight back for some odd reason. When Neon was close enough to us, he then dropped Forest, which Forest was curled up and acting like a little bitch.
I then looked at Neon and asked, “So… I’m assuming getting Forest went well then?”
Then Neon said, “Nope,” with a big smile on his face.
I had looked at him with a confused look on my face as Neon went on with, “I floated up to Forest’s home in the sky, busted his door open and we both went to the twenty-fifth dimension of the clad galaxy of the moon of condor, in which we fought a valid foe of an army of chickens that held the golden bazooka, in which we fought for the land tyrant and sailed across the dragons of despair… and then we killed everyone there and did the Charleston chew on their graves. Then I brought him to the nightmare realm and we saw a teddy bear gruesomely gut a cute littler innocent puppy and threw a kitten into a wood chipper."
I was listening to every word that he had to say. It seemed like all but a random lie, but by that point, it was Neon. What did you expect from him? I'm sure Forrest didn't give his consent to this, let alone to anything to what Neon did with him. For all I knew, he Bill Cosbied him and just brought his unconscious body along for the ride. Or maybe Forrest just went with the flow of things because Neon is Neon... as the old saying goes. Don't question him or you're fucked.
So neon continued to say to me as I clinged on to every word that he had to say with my little pony ears, "And then, for the grand finale of our amazing not-so-great adventure of beer, we threw a puppy into a wood chipper every time someone on Earth pirated a game or movie… and we chucked three million puppies into the wood chipper too. Then we came back here, Forest was playing hide and seek underneath his bed and screamed of terrible nightmares that he will have for the rest of his days, as I showed him the most ghastly thing he will ever see in his life!”
I then stared him, shocked and said to him, “Dam Neon... I never thought I would ever hear those fancy words from you… but you did… well perhaps you just broke reality Neon.”
Then Neon said, “No I haven’t, although I can blow up the universe if you want me too again!”
I then said to him as quickly as I could, “No no no no! I’m good… I’m good Neon. There’s no need to blow up the universe again!”
Then Neon had a frown upon his face and said, “Awww… But I wanted to throw a pie at god’s face in this universe… the pie wants to be on someone’s face… you just gotta Knight… you just gotta…”
I then gave out a sigh, in which Twilight put her hoof on me and she then asked, “So Knight… since we’re all here, may I ask if you want to split up the groups.”
Then Applejack said, “Yeah… and if so, just remember to not put me with Mac. I rather not be in the same place with him with that darn fool around any longer.”
Applejack also said that with a bit of an angry face as well. However, I then happened to look over to Mac, try to think of how to put the groups together, however, Mac wasn’t in his drunken state any more.
In fact, he had his eyes concentrated on Applejack and his eye glowed red, as if he was possessed by a very clichéd demon, in which case, all he did was stare at him with a neutral expression. After a while of staring at her, he started to slowly open his mouth and started to make a growling sound… to which it then turned into a loud scream as his head was pointed to the sky. Everypony caught that and was wondering why he was screaming, but I could tell that running through Mac’s mind, he was thinking of vengeance on Applejack.
He then screamed for a few seconds, afterwards, he then calmed down and had his head hang low, however an evil grim ran across his face as he was smiling of a pleasant thought to him.
He then looked at me and said, “Hey… Knight… can I talk to you for a bit… in private perhaps?”
I then started to walk over to Mac, however, Twilight stopped me from walking over to Mac.
She then said to me, “what about making the groups?”
I then told her, “How about you make them while I go there and talk with Mac.”
She then thought for a bit and her eyes wondering off, and then she smiled at me and said, “Alright then.”
She then let me go and I walked over to Mac, in which he started walking towards deep into the forest, but not too deep in which we would get lost.
Eventually, we walked far away from the group, but we could still see them from afar, but they wouldn’t be able to hear our conversation though. We stopped at a tree that had a hole in it, that possibly had a home of some sort of rodent in it. Mac then looked at me and then gave me a hug.
After receiving his warm embrace, he then let go and stared at me and said to me, “This… is… perfect… I wouldn’t be able to think of a better plan Knight.”
I then asked him, “What plan?”
He then said sinister smile on his face, “Oh… it’s alright Knight. We’re safe from those… blind fools… they wouldn’t be able to hear our conversation.”
I then started to worry about him and said to him with a concerned look on my face, “Mac… are you alright? You never usually talk like that. Maybe Neon from time to time, but how should I put this… you are using what you call ‘fancy words that are only used by followers of Applejack.”
He then said to me, but very close to my face with his devilish red glowing eyes, “Oh, don’t worry about me Knight… I’m just saying is that we have Applejack in our hooves now. I wouldn’t have thought any better plan. I mean you did decide to help me to kill Applejack and so I can get my revenge!”
I then was confused for a bit, until I recalled from last time and said to myself in my head, ‘Alright… that thing… I completely forgot about that. Although it’s too late now if I back out now and say I don’t really want to kill Applejack… he’ll kill me and stuff like that and possibly feed me to some Asian type ponies. Poor Asians… they need help.’
Mac continued to speak to me while making gestures that would be fitting for our little talk such as flaring his two forearms in front of me, “However, there is a fault in our plan, Applejack did say that she doesn’t want to be in a ‘group’ with me, so we will have to change tactics. Only a fool would just go up to her and end it all, no… we need to draw this out so we can savor this moment. I’ve got it… Knight, if you’re with her, try to stay extra close to her and see if you can get valuable information from her… then, when I get to Ponyville and visit her farm, I will try to find any weaknesses that so we can break into her farm and set everything a blaze and have them burn to death tonight. That will show all of them not to mess with me… Mac Farmer!"
He then turned his back to me and started to walk around in little circle while remaining in our little place. His eyes stayed like he was going crazy, yet had another secret plan that he wasn't telling me kind of vibe. Thankfully the others didn't notice this or else who knows, they may have questioned what the hell was going on. As for me, I just had a neutral look on my face.
Mac continued to talk to me in a crazy voice, "Then… I’ll make this world a better place. Why not stop there… I’ll then get rid of all of the Apple Family, make them all suffer a terribly tortuous fate in the bowels of hell. And why also stop there, if I can kill the rest of the apple family, why not use it to get rid of all of the scum in this world. All those who do wrong and is useless in this world. I’ll get rid of those who has no use in this world! I’ll become a god in this world… then… they will all bow down to me… every last pony will… I’ll be a god of this world… no… a new world."
In reality I shouldn't have been impressed with what he was saying to me. Yet at the same time, I was unmoved by what he was saying. Just like Neon and Neon is Neon, Mac was Mac. Neon was always going to be the weird psychopath of the group. And Mac was always going to be the crazy, obsessed, jealous, idiot of the group. Mostly an idiot, but the greed was still in there for his element, you just couldn't see it right away.
Mac went on about his desires to me, "A new world that I will create, where I will be the better pony than Applejack ever could be! I’ll be a god of the new world… and if I have to, I’ll rip off the royal sister’s necks and fest upon their hearts. Then, I’ll go and kill god herself and drink all of her blood and then I will make an example out of her that I am the god here and not anypony else here!”
I then started to be very scared of him and wondered if he has truly reached the point of the edge of insanity, however Mac continued to talk. Also, Mac never went to her farm, just saying he was counting his eggs before they hatched is all.
He continued to go on and say, “I’ll even rule this country’s apple industry... no… this world’s apple industry. And if anypony gets in my way… I’ll make them suffer for it, I’ll kill them and make it so slow and painful, I’ll make sure they feel every last second of pain they have to endure by me! I’ll make anypony pay the price for getting in my way! I’ll be a god I tell you… A GOD! I’ll rule this world and I’ll be the one in charge, and as Applejack is suffering agony in hell, I’ll go personally down there myself and make her watch and see that I have become a god.
By this point, I wasn't sure what he was even getting at. He had already lost me and now it sounded a bit confusing to me. But he was an idiot so I let it passed. But still, it was stating to worry me about him since just like Jack from earlier, he entering a different mind set altogether. It was concerning. Yet at the time I didn't quite care what happened to him so I guess I couldn't say I gave a single shit what he was saying, let alone planning. As long as it didn't screw my plans, all was right with me in my head.
Mac went on about Applejack, "I have become better than her... that I have done better than her in every possible way! And as for you Knight,” he said with a creepy grin across his face alone with his still glowing red eyes as he turned his head to me, “Your loyalty will not go unrewarded, as I’ll give you all of your dreams and desires and I’ll have you by my side as I rule this world… you could even lead my army if you want to as well… ”
He then just stared at me with a look of anticipating and excitement, waiting for my answer to him.
As for me, I was thinking I was thinking to myself, ‘Anything that I want eh? Hmmmm… maybe if he could get me a golden, fire breathing, chacobo… I’ll maybe consider his offer. I mean anything is worth it to get a giant golden fire breath chacobo… it’s what I’ve always wanted along with flying through the skies while signing “Don’t Stop Me Now" by Queen... or some other cover band. Perhaps I will help him kill Applejack for that as well as god… but then again I don’t want to be that guy who helped out a crazy guy and got a golden flaming fire breathing chacobo out of it… I want to lead an army of those things man… so I’ll just pass up his offer, or at least make him think I’m helping him but really I’m not. But still though… a flaming, golden, fire breathing chacobo would be nice. Then… I could rule the world with it… and lead an army of chacobos… then… I’ll be a king and rule the land of the chaocobos. We then shall rename Equestria… Chacorestria! It’s a brilliant name for a country indeed. And I shall be their king… and defeat a thousand foes if I have to prove to them that I should be their king… or have a dick butt or something like that I guess. Anyways, perhaps I should say something to him so he can get out of my face.’
I then said to Mac, “Mac… you breath smells like dead hookers.”
Mac than said to me, “Of course… why wouldn’t it be?”
He then backed off a bit and asked me, “So… what do you think of the plan Knight… or you in or out. Will you be by my side or will be deceased and fed upon the rats in the early morning?”
I then thought for a while and said, “Uhhhh…. yeah…Applejack is a real bitch… can I be king of the chacobos if I agree?”
Then Mac said, “Whatever you say Knight… just pledge your allegiance towards me and you’ll be king of whatever you want as long as it’s not being god. And once we kill Applejack, we’ll bath in her blood in victory in a bath tub in some hotel.”
I then said to him while still lying I guess, “Yeah… sure… we’ll bath in her blood.”
Then Mac backed off a bit and out of my personal space and said to me, “Good… I’ll get you tonight when every other pony goes home, then we’ll strike where it hurts her.”
Then Mac started to walk back towards the group, and I started to walk with him as well, and I noticed his red eyes were slowly fading away and I was actually starting to get scared that doesn’t have to do with Neon for once in my life in many years.
I felt like he was… starting to go insane… but more insane than usual.
Anyways, we headed back towards the group, everyone was nodding their heads as we walked in, in which Twilight turned with a smile on her face and she looked at me and said, “There you are Knight, I have made up the groups for all of us. In group one, it will be you, me, Applejack, Classy Jack, Fluttershy, and Arrell.”
Then Jack spoke up and said, “I just go by Jack because my parents were mentally retarded when they named me and my non-existent little brother. I’m not joking, they were retarded when they gave birth to me and my non-existent little brother, now I’m wondering why any pony had let my parents take care of kids in the first place. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that logic, but you know… whatever… just saying is all.”
Then Twilight said, “Alright then… I’ll keep that in mind… in Group Two, we have Neon Party, Pinkie Pie, Forest Fire, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Mac Farmer. So, does that sound good to you Knight?”
I then thought for a moment and then told Twilight, “Yeah, sure, although your group choice might be the death of you and I, but we might be good though.”
Then Twilight said, “Great! Now where do you want to head to first Knight, Stalia or Ponyville first?”
I then said, “I’ll choose Ponyville first, mostly because everypony there knows my name and Rainbow Dash said she wanted to visit Stalia, so why not let her and her group go first?”
Then Rainbow Dash came up behind me and put a hoof on me and said, “Thanks Knight, I guess I owe you one later.”
I then stared at her and said, “Don’t thank me yet, for what you are about to see might be frightening. You see, Stalia is like a door, and the key is your imagination. Beyond that door is a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, and a dimension of mind. You’re going to be moving into a land of both shadow and of substance and ideas. You will just have crossed over into… The Stalia Zone.”
Than Rainbow Dash looked at me with a dazed look and she then said, “Right then… uhh… whatever you say dude.”
Then she went back to her group, in which afterwards, Twilight spoke up and said, “Alright everypony, we’ll meet back here at noon to switch towns, and then right before sunset, we’ll meet at the spot I told you all girls about. Alright then, let’s go everypony!”
Then we went our separate ways… yaaaaaay…
Group 1: Morning...
So we departed from the other group and started to head towards Ponyville. It was around seven or something like that, I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t even keep track of the time that has passed, but yet I was still alive from some odd reason. Oh well, we walked and no one said a single word until we got to the entrance of Ponyville.
It felt awkward actually, maybe because Twilight was nervous because of her feelings towards me or Applejack and Mac, or perhaps Jack and Arrell being the complete insane ponies that I know, but not as insane as Neon or Mac as Jack and Arrell just kept silent. Or Fluttershy just being Fluttershy for that matter. Yeah, that was this group I was with. I was starting to wonder if the other group was having a decent time talking to each other or getting along. I mean the Elements of Protection and Elements of Harmony are basically two sides of a coin. One is females and one is males.
One side is awesome, but being family friendly towards others friendly, while the other side is the exact opposite of being family friendly. The only other thing is none of look or think alike except for something that each can relate to. For me, I’m the leader of the group, same as Twilight, and we’re both smart in our own ways.
Neon is a crazy pony, but more crazy than Pinkie, but still, and he also lives in the party store which is almost the same as Sugarcube Corner, except for it also being a party store as well. Arrell, well he deals with animals just like Fluttershy does. Mac and Applejack are self-explanatory, while Jack deals with a bit of classiness, along with Rarity. And to top it all off, Forest can go fast and be on fire (Literally sometimes) and also has a crush on Rainbow Dash if that also helps.
Along with the fact that we’re also the same types of ponies, that’s the only way we’re alike. Everything else, we’re either completely different or the exact opposite of it. Although one thing is for sure though, at least the Elements of Protection didn’t look like the Stallion versions of the Mane 6, or else I would have blown my brains out because that would have been completely stupid. Especially since they are the exactly the same, I would wonder if they were just male clones of the Elements of Harmony.
Then I would die a little inside and lose a lot more faith within humanity and go die and burn in a hole somewhere in Kiribati because why not? Well, aside from being that, we were quite and started to wonder why I even agreed to this in the first place. I mean as I said before, we have little next to nothing in common, I mean we do “things” that are quite odd, while they do what other sane creatures do.
So in a way, we’re the insane version of the Elements of Harmony, although we’re considered to be in our sane state right now and our insane sides are something different… in a way of course. And of course, that might be bad, heck that might even be bad for a story, but honestly, being sane is boring. All you do is do the normal things others do and honestly, even though I didn’t feel it at that moment as I was walking with the group, or at least not quite that much, it felt good to be insane. Being normal is just too boring.
I mean with everything that I have seen, who would want to be normal ever again? who would want to be sane ever again? Who would want to go back to that boring state in their lives and be such a drag. To be that type of guy who wore the same type of cloths, ate the same kind of food, and sit in the same kind of games. Then eventually, one day you’re going to snap and kill all those around you. although you’ll just end up killing all those in a very unoriginal way.
But then again, I’m sure no one would complain about it, for you normal and sane people or creatures out there, you would be dying of boredom anyway. Then you’ll end up killing yourself in an unoriginal way because you lived your life like a normal person. Then right before you die, you’ll realize all the time you wasted with your life and just end up killing yourself. Because honestly, insanity is the only thing that keeps you alive.
As I said, I was glad to be insane, well at least now that is, because being normal is just way too boring for me. I would rather blow my brains out if I had to do something that others were doing, because I rather be different from others than to just be the same kind of normal guy, to do what is considered normal. To me now, as I am writing this to you, is not good enough.
The normal and sane life is not fun enough, it’s just too boring and unoriginal, everyone else does it all the time, why not something new I ask? Well, that’s why I’m glad I’m insane, in a way of course, so I’m never bored at all.
Well, we eventually reached the town of Ponyville.
We started to see ponies walking about, but yet the group was still silent, until one native from the town said to me and Twilight, “Hello Twilight, Hello Knight, fine morning isn’t it today?”
Then Twilight replied back as we continued to work away from this stranger, “It is, you have a good morning now.”
She had said it with a smile, but in a way it felt like she was glad she was able to talk since everyone else was nothing but silence. We then started to come across others in the town who smiled and waved at us with their hooves as we walked by. Some were casually walking by while others were bowing down to Twilight since she was a princess after all.
Eventually, Twilight stopped in her tracks, in which we all followed one after the other, in which she turned around with a smile still existing on her face. I’ll admit, the smile wasn’t too bad, but I started to wonder why did she have to smile in the first place?
Well, she then asked everyone in the group, “Well, since we’re here and mostly know this town more than you guys, how about we visit places that we go to, for instance Sugar Cube Corner.”
At first, I was a tad bit confused as to who she was talking to, but then it struck me a few seconds later as to how much of an idiot I was when she meant me and my other two friends. She was right though, we didn’t live here, so it was more or less of a town that was a stranger to us, well except for me that is, I mostly have visited the town before and knew it more better than the others ever did.
I looked over to the other guys and they were just concentrating on Twilight’s voice, and might have ended up in the same position I was not too long ago trying to think what she had meant.
They stared at me since I was pretty much the leader of Elements of Protection, in which I turned my head to Twilight and looked her straight into her eyes and said, “Fine, let’s go to the places that you go to. And you just want to show the others a little bit around isn’t it?”
Then Twilight looked at me and was a bit confused as to what I had just said, in which she said, “I guess if you put it that way then... I guess…”
She then shrugged it off and she continued to lead the way to Sugar cube Corner, although I had a feeling that she was going to that other place because why not?
That and from what I have heard of Twilight’s stories, they mostly hang out there and the places that they do hang out wouldn’t really be a good place to show newcomers isn’t it? I mean you just don’t and hang out at the Couch and Quill Shop do you now? You don’t just throw a party there or start to have an intimate moment, in which later it turns into rape from zero to sixty do you now? No, you would rape behind a bar or in a school obviously, because those places is where you rape others. I mean those places do say ‘rape’ all over those types of buildings, they just do somehow.
And in the end, you start to wonder how fucked up life can be, and just shrug it off and die a little inside while you’re stalking your ex-girlfriend and brutally jacking off to her with the tiny dick that you have because your father was just too much of a fucking pussy to have a bigger dick. And of course those who read this journal of mine will say “WTF did I just read?”
Well, let me tell you what you just read for those types of people out there, you just read a little something called fuck you, none of your damn business. And chances are the only reason why you’re saying WTF is because you’re too much of a pussy to go into the big world and end up doing the same thing over and over again, from the day to day and wondering when you will crack and bash the nearest person’s brains out due to the dullness in your life.
And chances are you got that way because your father always beat you to a bloody pulp with his belt as a kid, so you quietly weep in a corner every night, wishing that your father actually loved you instead of trying to sexually assault you in your sleep. Then you end up going to the bathroom, look yourself in the mirror, tell yourself everything is going to be alright, but in the end you know nothing will be alright because you continue to cry yourself to sleep every night because of your dead goldfish that you may have had when you were five years old and your father lied to you when it died because he told you it ran away because you touched yourself every night.
Then you start to cry, in which case he told you the same answer just like why it rains, it’s because god is crying because of something you did, but in this case, god made your fish jump out of the bowl because you touched yourself and possibly something else that made god upset. Then you cry some more, cry yourself to sleep in a corner, and then get beaten to a bloody pulp by your mum because she is an alcoholic… so, did I hit the nail in the mark or was I completely off?
Yeah… I was right wasn’t I? I’m just that much of a douche bag sometimes, but I’m not that much of a douche bag like The Magnificent Douche bag, he’s the douchest douche bag in the world. He’s basically the Douche bag king… and the queen is possibly Rosie O’Donnell. Well, anyways, we walked as a group to Sugar Cube Corner.
When we reached the place, It wasn’t busy at all actually. There was a pony or two when we entered the establishment, but other than that, we pretty much had the place to ourselves. When we entered, Twilight and her friends entered first, as the saying goes, ‘Ladies first, bottom bitches second, bitches third, actual bitches go pee on a fire hydrant, and hoes go fuck themselves.’
I’m sure that’s how the saying goes. Right… am I right on that? Yeah, I’m just too smart for this aren’t I? Well, after Twilight and her friends went inside, me and my friends followed. We went inside and I saw a pony taking a cupcake from the counter, as Mrs. Cakes was putting another bit away from a not-too-long ago sale she just had made.
She had a smile on, and as the pony was about to leave, she said to the customer, “Have a nice day now.”
The pony then turned around and headed for the exit. And now… we will never know what happened to that pony… for it will remain a mystery for all of eternity… although you must wonder… what ever happened to that pony?
The world may never know… Or maybe he was raped and murdered, and then the rapists then went to sing an entire opera like musical about rape and murder while stealing a kid from Salt Lake City hospital during an apocalypse and setting a bunch of surgeons on fire. In which case he would then take a girl who was about to be operated on because she was the only one who could make a cure to a disease during the apocalypse filled with infected.
Then kill a black chick and lie to her that everything is fine… and then just say ok and the screen cuts to black like The Sopranos or something… then maybe she is dead after that and perhaps raped as well… because why not? I mean the guy certainly wouldn’t mind after raping and kill a pony that came out of the sweet shop and did a whole musical number on being raped and murdered out in the bid old cruel world.
Then in the end that’s the only words he will ever know what to say, and those words would be ‘raped and murdered.’ Or you know… we may never know what happened to that pony.
Anyways, Mrs. Cake saw us walking in and continued to have a smile on her face, as she was a happy pony. But then again… she looked too happy to me and was a blue bitch pony… who knows, perhaps she was a transvestite and had blue balls and what not. Although I’m wondering how she did it in bed with Mr. Cake, because the thought of it makes me sick actually.
I mean imagine old women pony and her vagina doing it with a pedophile dick… which I’m sure that is what Mr. Cake is. That or he is secretly a black guy pony from a third world country because he looks too skinny to me. Perhaps he has AIDS… but if that was the case, then why doesn’t he look like a wombat from Crash Bandicoot. I mean, I’m sure Crash has AIDS. And Jax and Daxter has Cancer, which would explain the way that they are actually.
Well, Mrs. Cake said to Twilight, “Oh, hello Twilight. Hello Knight, haven’t seen you in a while.”
I then said to her with my everyday monotone voice, “Yeah… uhhh… nice to meet you too… you forgetful blue bitch.”
Then she had a puzzling look on her face and she asked, “What did you just say honey? I didn’t quite hear you. I am afraid I’m getting older as the years go by.”
Then Fluttershy said to her, “Awww… but you look young to me.”
Then Mrs. Cake had an even bigger smile, but blushed a little though… who knows, she might swing that way, in which case... it might be interesting to watch. A young chick eating out an old chick… now that’s a sight to see. No wait… I forgot… the deep south people that do incest… which is basically the entire state of Kentucky. I mean why not, right? While the state of Illinois can’t even have sex at all because Jesus is watching them… twenty four seven.
Maybe he was paid by Microsoft to be the new Kinect 3.0.
Well, Mrs. Cake said, “Oh, thank you Fluttershy. But I know that I’m old. Sooner or later the kids will be growing up and going to school. But they’re still little babies that needs their mother.”
Then Twilight and her friends nodded their heads, but gave off a look that said to me, ‘Aww… that’s so sweet and sad at the same time. It’s sad that they will leave the nest one day and the parents will be sad, but at the same time it’s cute. But in the end they’ll divorce each other or blow each other’s brains out because their kids are gone because it’s all about the kids and letting them have parents so they don’t turn to drugs on the street corner and stuff like that. In which case they will be a pimp and earn so much money for college… how cute.’
Then I just said out loud while my friends behind me just stood there, questioning what was even going on since they never really stepped a hoof in Ponyville before and looked at each other with a puzzled look on their faces.
I said out loud in the room, “Uhhh… I’ve been here for the past, what, 7 years or so… how the fuck come are they still babies right now? I mean this doesn’t make any sense… just like in the show and every other fan fiction about it where they Pound and Pumpkin fuck each other.”
But no one heard a single word, in which case darn you universe you son of a bitch. Well, that’s the universe! Good night everyone… ok that was shitty.
Anyways, Mrs. Cake just ignored what I said, as if I didn’t say what I had just said and said to me, “Well why thank you for saying that to me Knight.”
Then Twilight looked at me with a look in her eye that said that I was a nice pony while my friends just clapped their hooves on the ground like an applause while the other ponies just started to have tears in their eyes a bit.
Twilight then said to me, “Knight, that was beautiful what you just said there.”
Then Jack said to me while looking at Arrell, “Yes, quite good actually. Bravo Knight… bravo.”
I then stood there questioning what was happening, but I suppose the universe made them hear something more eloquent or something like that, like a sweet poem of sunrise and sunset… or the entire script to Boyhood. Either way it was quite beautiful according to them.
I then just sat there and said, “Uhhh... yeah… sure… whatever I said… you’re welcome… ”
Then Mrs. Cake said, “I suppose those are your friends behind you Knight?”
I then said to her, “Yeah, well two of them that is. The other three or in Stalia right now doing god knows what, but you get the idea.”
Then Mrs. Cake walked around the counter and went to greet Jack and Arrell. Mrs. Cake then raised her right hoof and offered a hoof-shake the two ponies. That kind of sounds like a sexual thing. Maybe it is actually, you know if you’re into old women that is, like she gives you a hoof-shake. Like it’s where she shakes your dick up, the guy cums, gets all the cum she can and put it in something and keep doing it to a guy and eventually making a shake out of the guy’s cum. It would be called hoof-shake because she used her hooves… to make the guy cum… and made the cum into a shake… so all the planets can align and the almighty lord Bleech Bumpkins will raise from the nine hundred and fifty-eighth dimension of the panda crabs… because that makes sense.
And it’s just one of eight hundred thousand simple instructions to get your delicious strawberry milkshake, so why not? Well, she offered a hoof-shake and Jack touched her hoof.
Then she moved on to Arrell and he did the same thing as well… but then he squinted his eyes a bit like an Asian would naturally and said to her, “Are you coming on to me? Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Cakes?”
Then Mrs. Cakes quickly put her hoof down and was a bit scared and had a worried look in her eyes, but she tried her best to continue smiling, as if she was trying to force a smile like the Heath Ledger Joker.
She then said “Ummm… well… I am not, especially since I am married after all.”
Jack then said, “Are you sure, because you look like someone who needs to be touched.”
Then she started to be a little bit pissed off, but she tried her best to maintain a smile and a friendly atmosphere in the room. However, Twilight and the others weren’t looking so happy, more or less shocked at the fact that those two would ask those kind of questions.
In which case, Twilight came up to me and whispered into my ears, “Knight… are those two… always like that?”
I then looked at her funny and asked her, “Are you trying to seduce me Twilight, because that whisper sounded very sexual. I mean I understand you have your needs and wants, but I’m not your type… buy that one pony who left right after we came in… that might be your type. I mean… at least he can sing right? You like signing… and you’re purple so you might be into rap. Are you ok Twilily? Are you even listening to the words that I am saying right now? No? Alright then… curses… universe… you got me again.”
Then Twilight said, “I heard you correctly… what are you talking about?”
I then was surprised and shocked that the universe did not filter what I had said to her, in which case I then said to her, “Oh… well in that case don’t worry about it. As for your question… yeah those two are always like that.”
Also, while Twilight and I were talking, Mrs. Cake was steadily raising her voice to Jack and Arrell, as they kept on asking stupid questions like, ‘how big is your Vagina? Does your vagina eat ponies? If so, how long does it take to digest? Do you have AIDS? Are you a weird Lesbian? Do you want to do it with that old guy in the bar that you don’t know? Do you ever think on cheating on your husband? How about you kill your babies by drowning them, burning them, and afterwards rape their dead bodies with a farmer saying, “I’ve done it ma!” while humping a fish?’
Anyways, Twilight then asked me, while the yelling was slowly getting louder while we were talking, “First off, are you ok Knight. Secondly, I don’t think she would want your friends to be here any longer. Perhaps they should stay outside until we’re finishing here?”
I then responded to her, while her friends were over hearing out little, but not so little, conversation, “Well, I do suppose that’s a great idea and… wait… what do you mean am I ok?”
Then Twilight said to me, with a worried tone a bit in her voice, “Well, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I mean you’re talking about the universe and me not hearing you what you’re saying. I can perfectly hear what you are saying Knight. I’m not dumb. But there are some mental problems out there that makes me worried that you might have problems. Do you have problems Knight?”
I then told her, “No! of course not! Why would I ever have mental problems. Sure, these friends of mine can drive me to great lengths sometimes and can put me on the brink of insanity, but at the same time, I’m already insane. For fuck’s shake, the whole town of Stalia is insane. I mean if you were to live there for the rest of your life, you would go insane within a few hours because you lived a normal life here in Ponyville.”
Then Twilight had a confused look in her eyes and she asked, “Wait so you don’t like your friends, or your town?”
I then told her, “Well… I never said the word hate. I do like my friends. Sure, they can make me go insane and it might happen one day. But they’ve kind of grown on me a little bit, so in a way it would be weird to leave them, but overall I just don’t care about them. As for the town… well pretty much the same thing.”
Then Twilight had a bit of a disgusted look on her face… just a little bit and said, “That’s not being a friend Knight. I mean have you not learned anything about friendship while you were in Stalia this entire time?”
I then told her, although it was a lie, “Yeah… of course I have Twi. I would never let you or Princess Celestia down.”
Then a smile formed on to her face and here is what she thought as she looked at me.
She had thought, ‘Oh… he called me Twi. Does that mean he’s starting to like me? I have read in a few books where couples give each other nicknames. Perhaps this his is nickname for me. Then again my friends call me by that nickname, but he never usually says it though towards me.
Twilight was starting to have a funny, yet flirty look in her eyes, and a little bit of that wa towards me. And while I wasn't able to read her mind back then, looking at what she was thinking using the fancy portal here right now as of me writing... really says a lot and explains why she had looked at me so back then.
Twilight continued to think towards me. ‘Perhaps he is starting to like me more. He did say he would not let me down, perhaps that’s a sign of even more affection towards me. Although I’m not so sure on that, but perhaps he is in love with me. Maybe we can start going on dates. But I’m not sure if he wants to go that far yet. We must take these things seriously and slow. I’ve got it! After we leave here, I’ll suggest we go to my home. There, I can take him to my room and give him a few hints at if he wants to go on a date or not. If so, then I’ll be so excited. If not, then it’s entirely fine and understandable, as we must take it slow, as that can be a good sign of a healthy relationship.’
While she was thinking that, I was thinking of, ‘Boy… I wonder what she’s thinking. Perhaps she’s thinking what I said about her not to lose faith in me. Maybe she’s thinking she can trust me more with her fancy stuff, like her books I used to use when I was in Celestia’s school. I mean, those were accidents when I accidently pour gasoline all over the books and set them on fire with a match. It was an accident. It was an accident because… I tripped on a rock. Now I can read and borrow her books again… and burn them later by accident... yes… by accident… why do I want to burn he books? Meh… who cares, it’s just burning books.’
Then our train of thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Cake screaming, “THAT’S ENOUGH!”
She had a fierce look in her eyes that said, ‘I’m going to kill you, rape you, rape you until your asshole is filled blood and your heart can’t take anymore. I’ll burn your house down and rape your cats as well, while skinning your dog alive and feed their flesh to your children while gouging out your wife’s eyes out. I will make all of your loved ones surfer and make sure they all suck cocks in hell, you mother fucker.’
That’s what her look described to me.
Well, after she said that, Arrell then said to her, “Ummmm… it looks like you’re really angry there… umm… you want a cookie?”
Then Arrell took out a cookie that he had for some reason that he had in one of his pockets on his vest.
He continued to say, “You want a cookie? Cookies make everything better. I mean… I didn’t put anything suspicious into these cookies. Well… maybe I did… I think I put something weird in them.”
Then Arrell took a bite out of his cookie, chewed it slowly and had wide eyes for a few seconds. Then his eyes went back to normal and slowly started to put his cookie back in his vest pocket.
He then said to her while doing so, “Yeah… no… this is my cookie. I’m going to keep this cookie. My cookie, stay away from my precious cookie… you bitch.”
Then Mrs. Cake’s husband, Mr. Cake, walked into the room with a worried mind in thought, as he had heard screaming and had thought something went wrong. Of course nothing went wrong, everything went perfectly fine… with the yelling and such.
Well, Mr. Cake walked in and he asked to Mrs. Cakes, “Sweetybun, is everything ok in here? I had thought I heard yelling in here.”
Now you know he’s old because he couldn’t hear a single yelling screaming from the next room, which was the kitchen. And you know he’s a redneck if his neck is literally red… wrong time for the joke I guess… possibly so.
Well, he came in and stuff, and his wife told him, “I’m sorry Dear, but these two… ponies here, were asking me very private questions and… and… they just made me so mad that I yelled.”
Mr. Cake then nodded, but didn’t look angry and seemed to understand the situation at hand… or hoof… whatever you prefer that is… you sicko.
Well, Mr. Cake then Walked up to Arrell and Jack, but didn’t look angry though, and told them, “Look guys, I’m not sure what you said to my wife… but I rather not have her be upset. Especially since she is my wife after all and she can be a bit of a problem when she is angry and the misses, if you know what I mean. So, can you please leave so she isn’t angry anymore?”
Then Jack and Arrell stood there for a few seconds and just looked at him in pure silence.
Then Arrell looked at him and squinted and said to him, “Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Cake? I don’t swing that way Mr. Cake. Perhaps you should go and screw a cake… and make cake babies… then I’ll eat your cake babies… right in front of you and your cake wife. Then I’ll stab your cake wife and eat her too… then… and only then… will you know the secret of life… ”
Then Mr. Cake stood there, baffled, trying to make sense as to what he had heard.
He then said to Arrell, “Huh?”
Then Arrell asked him, “Are you a homosexual Mr. Cake? Is that why you’re trying to seduce me Mr. Cake?”
I then said to both Jack and Arrell, even though Jack really wasn’t bothering anyone, “Yeah, maybe you two should leave now.”
Then Arrell said, “Yeah… ok… ”
Then Jack and Arrell went to walk outside and waited for us until we were done with our business at the place.
However, as Jack was walking out, he said to himself, “Why am I leaving? I didn’t even say anything?”
But, little did he know…no one gave a fuck that day. And that, kids, is the reason why your parents never, ever, cared about you. In fact, that’s why they call you a mistake behind your back while you’re sleeping. The… End. Nighty night you little shits. Now… is all the kids who are reading this gone now? Good, because… now we can go to adult time… n’ stuff.
Well, aside from that, Jack and Arrell stood outside and waited for us to come out. However, with me, I was welcomed among the Cakes and… nothing really happened. I mean, something happened, but nothing to really note about other then helping make cookies, while I got to see the babies.
I wouldn’t say they were cute, but they were quite the little shits that would want to make you put a gun to your head, blow your brains out and let your babies feast upon your brain flesh… but in a good way.
Well, after an hour or so, we finally walked out of Sugar Cubed Corner, while I had a doggie back. I of course held it up with magic and not with my mouth, as I am a unicorn and that would be kind of stupid of me to not use my magic while I have the use for it, just like Twilight… right?
Ohhhhhhhhhh…….. wait a minute. Well, I was the first one to walk out of the store, while Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy followed, in that order. However, I was looking straight forward to my friends, while Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy looked back at the store, saying goodbye and thanking them for their hospitality.
They had smiles on their faces, while I had a neutral expression. We then walked up to Jack and Arrell, who just seemed to have sat on the ground, waiting for us to come out.
When we got to them, Arrell asked me, “Knight, did you at least got me some cookies from there… because I really wanted some cookies. I ate all of mine.”
I then said to him while giving him the doggie back, “Yup, sure did. I even baked them myself. And then after putting the cookies that I made in the back, I took a shit in it. So happy birthday or whatever.”
Instead of a face of disgust, Arrell had a smile on his face and looked happy.
He then said to me, “Wow… thanks Knight. It’s just what I needed. Now I have food to feed my twelve bunny centipede army, because I feed them shit. Literally. That and I need that bunny that I feed them shit to shit into the other bunny’s mouth, and so forth, so they may be prepared to take over the world. Those ponies from my childhood told me that I could never work with animals… they said I couldn’t make a twelve bunny centipede army… but I’ll show them… I’LL SHOW ALL OF THEM!!!”
I then said to him, “But you’re not good with animals… in fact you kind of force them to do it.”
Then Arrell squinted at me and he asked me, “Are you trying to fuck with me Knight?”
I then said to him, “Clearly you’re not right in the head… ”
Then Jack interrupted our conversation and he asked me, “Not to be rude or anything, but did you ring me anything from inside Knight?”
I then said to him, while grabbing out a brownie out of my satchel that I strangely enough sometimes forget that it exists, “Yeah, sure… I made a brownie for you. But when you eat it, be prepared for a trip down ‘I’m going to rape everything that I see because everything looks weird, but that’s because I put pot in the brownie lane.’ In other words I put pot in it for no odd reason at all in it.”
Jack then took the brownie from me and ate it all in one bite, as it wasn’t a big brownie.
He then chewed it and savored the taste of it, looked like he enjoyed it for a bit too… until his pupils got wide and he said out loud, “Woah… I’m trippin’… I see… colors. I see… gorillas rapping ponies… and the ponies are happy about it too. And now all they’re singing is all they need is love. I think… I think… I think I’ve got to get on that as well.”
While Jack was having a trip and Arrell mysteriously puts that doggie bag somewhere, but then again this is My Little Pony. I mean it is a cartoon world, but yet it seems to have a mix of reality to it, so anything goes really. Anyways, I then looked at the others and they looked at me.
I then asked Twilight, “So… what should we do now?”
And then she thought this in her head, ‘Yes! Now’s my chance!’
She then looked at me and everyone else and said, “Well, it’s been a while since you’ve visited my home. And your friends haven’t visited it at all, so maybe we could stop there for a bit. What do you say Knight?”
I then looked at her and thought real quick, ‘I wonder if she is going to do something that I do not want to know that she will do with me when I get to her home. Meh… possibly looking too deep into it.’
I then say to her, “Yeah sure, let’s go.”
Then Twilight led the group and we were off to her home next. We walked for a few minutes, but eventually came up to her tree home. I wondered why the castle never appeared like in the show, but it doesn’t matter. I mean, I know why, but all shall be revealed in good time. Well, at the time I had wondered, but I always did like her tree home better than the castle.
I mean, less is better… right? Well, sometimes that is, but more is sometimes more better depending on the case it is, but with her home, it was better with the tree. But then again it is opinion based, so all those on the internet, go fuck yourselves. Well, we got up to her door and she opened it up to let us in, and of course, ladies first and what not, and me and the others went ahead in, with Arrell having a curious look and Jack still being high off the brownie he ate.
In fact, he started to believe that if you were to drink a soda and run out of it, all you had to do to get more was to please the hole by putting your tongue in it and eventually it will cum soda. But hey, that’s the great thing of getting high… believing. Believing, believing, all you need is believing.
Well, we walked into Twilight’s home and she turned around to face everyone and said, “Alright then since Jack and Arrell is new here, how about you two show them around Applejack and Fluttershy?”
Then Applejack said to Twilight, “Sure Twi… we can show these two newcomers the ropes around here. Follow me fellas… uhhh… are you alight there Jack?”
Then Jack was looking at her weird and he said, “I feel weird… I can’t feel any part of my body… it’s like… I kind feel it… but at the same time… I can’t feel anything… but it feels so amazing though.”
Then Fluttershy had a bit of a worried look on her face and asked Jack, in her shy voice as usual, “Uhhhh…. Jack… do you want me to take a look and see what’s wrong with you or anything? I could always help… if you want me to that is.”
Then Jack said, “Oh… no… that’s alright… I feel fine… let me just lie down for a moment so I can think for a moment and I will possibly feel better later.”
Then Jack proceeded to go to the nearest wall to him and bang his head against it seven times, in which case, he then fell down and said, “Owwwwwwwww….. that wasn’t the couch…I think I just made the wall goblins mad. You know what… I think I’m going to get a glass of water instead. Maybe then the water goblins might save me from the wall goblins, because they hate each other so much… where am I again… why do I see the color blue raping the color red now.”
Then Applejack had her jaw drop and looked at Twilight and said, “I think we should maybe take Jack here to see someone right now. I don’t think he’s right in the head.”
I then said to her, “Don’t worry, I‘ve seen this happen before. Give him a few minutes and he’ll be fine.”
Then Fluttershy had a worried look on her face and said to me, “You mean you’ve seen him to this before?”
I then said to her in response, “Nope, but I’ve seen the symptoms of… ‘bad brownies’… so he’ll be fine.”
Then Twilight said to me, “So the brownies he ate was bad?”
I then stared at her in silence for a few second until I said to her, “Yeah… I made the bad brownie… by accident. And when I mean by accident, I mean I put something in it that I thought it was… a mint… a green leaf to make it minty.”
Then Twilight said to me, “Perhaps you should be more careful next time, you could have harmed him.”
However, she said that with a bit of an angered look in her face. Maybe the wall goblins possessed her something… because… they kind of exist… x-files?
Well, I then said to her, “Yeah… sure… whatever you say there.”
She then had a questionable look on her face, but she shrugged it off.
She then said to Fluttershy and Applejack, “Just show Arrell around and make sure Jack is ok. I don’t want him to get hurt or anything.”
They both nodded happily and then Twilight looked at me and said, “Alright then. Knight, if you would come with me, I do want to discuss something with you upstairs.”
I then looked around the room a bit more and squinted my eyes a bit, in which case I then said, “Yeah sure… whatever. Ummm… Twilight, where’s Spike? I kind of usually see him around or that I never notice him since I kind of forget he even exists half the time.”
Then Twilight gave me a weird look, possibly because I said I forget him half the time. But to be honest, he is forgettable. I mean, at times that is. I mean, he is a midget… how can you notice a midget half the time? I mean, he seems to be a burden then a helper, but then again… he’s cool at times… as long as he doesn’t give Twilight AIDS that is, because Twilight isn’t a black guy pony.
I mean…sure…she’s purple, but that doesn’t make her a black guy pony. Maybe if she was a can of purple or grape soda…maybe…but she’s not.
Well, Twilight then said to me after her weird look, “Spike is upstairs sleeping. He said he wanted to sleep more, so I let him. I mean, after all, he is a baby dragon.”
I then said to her, “Yeah… he is… it’s like you’re his mother or something.”
I then gave a bit of a smirk to her and she gave a smirk back to me, as she was slightly happy by the thought of it. I mean, she is kind of like a mother to him in a way when you look at it. Maybe she’s the one who laid the egg… x-files… x-files? Where’s the x-files theme at?
Maybe it’s dead… good. Well, also… I wonder if Spike ever ages. I mean how long as he been a baby dragon for? I mean I’ve been in the world at that point for like... seven years or something like that more or less and he was still a baby dragon. But then again, if he were to grow, would that mean he would be a full grown dragon and rape Twilight since he would have more power over her?
Maybe… because he has raging dragon AIDS hormones inside of him… I don’t know. I mean… with Spike… anything goes with him. Well, as I was saying, Twilight then led the way to her room upstairs to do something with me… something dirty… like planting flowers… get it? Get it? Dirty jokes… and it’s about dirt… you people don’t understand comedy. Well, as I was saying before, Twilight led me to her room and I saw Spike sleeping his bed and all the books in the shelves and neatly in alphabetical order… as that is what Twilight’s OCD is. I think it’s OCD… what else would it be? Would it be that she’s a total bitch.
Or is she a slut? Like, “Twilight, you ignorant slut.”
Who knows… maybe that’s why she is the way she is. The world may never know. And the world may also never know if that owl form the Tootsie Pop commercials was a pedophile. As I was saying, Twilight looked around the room a bit, seemed a bit bored, but at the same time waiting for something. She then had a bit of a worried look on her face and looked at me with a bit of… ’romance’ in her eyes.
She then said to me, while acting a bit nervous, “So… Knight… umm… may I ask you a personal question if you do not mind me asking?”
I then thought it through and wondered if she was going to ask me a personal question from my school days or my origins. However… I didn’t really care and could just say another lie… as lies seems to work best in some occasions.
I then said to her, “Yeah sure Twilight, I don’t mind you asking me.”
She then looked at me in the eyes, but kept looking away if she was embarrassed by something.
She asked me, “Well, I know you’ve been through a lot in your life. Especially with your colthood. But I want to ask you something… well… have you ever had a feeling that you looked at somepony and… felt a certain way about them?”
I then looked a bit confused and then asked, “Umm… no not exactly.”
She then continued to ask, “Have ever looked at a certain mare in your travels and… well… talked to them in a certain way?”
Twilight then got a bit closer to me, and I could tell she started to heat up a bit, as she was getting more nervous the more she talked to me.
I then shook my head no at her and she continued to ask, “Have you ever… forget it… let me get to the point. Have ever dated any mare Knight… at all in your life?”
I then said to her, “Ummm… no… I mean I have known some and have been friends with some in the past... but no I never have dated any mare whatsoever.”
Twilight, who got a bit more closer to my face, but looked a bit more confident and looked me straight into my eyes and asked, “Have you ever kissed a mare before?”
I then looked at her and my brain finally started to catch on what she was asking of me to do her… she wanted me to make love to her in the wheel barrow position… or maybe just kiss her. Then… the room was silent. We stared into each other’s eyes as if we were waiting for either one of us to make a move.
I had thought in my head in while the silence was present, ‘Oh shit. She wants me to kiss… and possibly fuck her too… then again she is smart. She would have me wear a condom and she would take birth control before we would fuck each other… and I don’t see any condoms around or birth control. Then again she could get an abortion. I mean… abortions shouldn’t be that hard in this universe since due to the fact that there are not people complaining about it or hypotehitcal critical christens are ranting about it at all. In fact it should be easy… but if a single pro-life person were to hear about this… they would go nuts and burn an orphanage down because someone killed a ‘baby.’
I just stared at Twilight with wide eyes, not really giving a hint as to what I was thinking. I'm sure twilight would give me the stink eye if she knew what I was thinking about. She would also be confused since I was starting to go off track like I do sometimes... I don't know why I do it, I just do it sometimes.
I continued to think in my head to myself, ‘Come on… that thing hasn’t even developed any emotions yet… it’s not even human yet. well... at least that's why I've been told. Maybe it's the other way around and really they do have a soul. But does that mean if an aborted fetus would haunt you with their ghost like a poltergiest after you kill it? Maybe... hmmm... I never really decided on the whole pro life or pro death issue back on Earth so I don't reeally know what I'm talking about anymore. But whatever… perhaps she can do that… but then again I don't know if I really am ready for the sex life. I'm still a virgin after all. Not even sure how I would do it though. I mean... what does a pussy even feel like it? Is it warm? Am I going to get queefed on? I'm starting to question it. But… I won’t lie though… Twilight has a nice ass though.'
I started to give twilight a slight hint of giving her the fuck me eyes... or the bedroom eyes for the young kiddies out there. But still, I didn't want Twilight thinking that I was advancing towards her, yet I was thinking slightly lewed thoughts about her.
I continued saying to myself in my head, ‘Look at that sexy mare ass. But then again that’s just complimenting her ass… so it really doesn’t matter. Although I won’t lie though… I wonder how getting head feels like. Screw it… I’m not going to get Twilight to do it… she’s too smart for that… that and I’m only curious. And curiosity killed the cat… and raped it too… gave it cat AIDS. But for right now… I should possibly just do something to get her off of me.’
While I was thinking of that, Twilight was thinking this: ‘I wonder if he’s going to do it? I know that he said he hasn’t dated a mare or kissed one, so he might not even do it at all. But he has to do something or say something at some point. Maybe I should say something… but what? I do love him. He is a dumb fool at times… but I do love him very much and I think we would be great together. I mean he is smart at times and he seems to be my type. But I don’t want to rush it. I should just wait and see what he does to me. Although if to say we do get into sexual activities… if that is… I wonder what we do. There is always oral sex… that could be fun. But that’s going a bit too far. Well… we’ll deal with it if we get there. For now, just need to wait and see what he does or say to me.’
I then stared at her for a few seconds… in which case I then said to her, “I guess you want a kiss from me? Well… if you say so then Twilight.”
I then kissed her lightly on the cheek and I could feel her soft… whatever it was on my lips. It was warm... but a bit cold though. Twilight then blushed a little bit and I pretended to give a shit by smiling at her while she looked away and embarrassed. Then, we heard yelling from down stairs that also awakened Spike.
Maybe… he was dreaming of giving Twilight AIDS… or giving the entire content of Africa AIDS, either way he’s giving AIDS out for free. And if you found that what I said to be odd… well you can go fuck yourself with a silver spoon because it’s a lot better than doing it with ice.
Now that I think about it… what if someone was to go up to a lit fireplace and started to have sex with the fire. Like a guy would go up to the first and starts to bang in it while having his dick on fire, while enjoying at the same time and stuff. Like, he doesn’t even feel pain, but instead… he feels love… burning love.
Well, Spike was awake and he jumped when he heard the noise.
He then said, “Twilight… what was that noise?”
Twilight looked at Spike and she said to him with a worried look in her eyes, “I don’t know… let’s go check it out Knight.”
And so she then led the way while Spike getting out of bed to check on the noise as well. Before I continue… I wonder instead of Spike jumping when he heard the noise… he would have humped when he heard the noise.
Like… he humped the air and say “Oh yeah… that’s some good air.”
Huh… I wonder sometimes… well anyways. We then walked downstairs and we found that there were books everywhere and Twilight’s jaw dropped to the ground with shock.
She couldn’t believe the mess that was made and how it was so unorganized… while Arrell was on the ground, rubbing his head as if he hurt it with Fluttershy and Applejack trying to pick up the books while Jack was still zoned out.
Then Twilight yelled as we continued to fully go downstairs, as we stopped in the middle since we saw the disaster halfway down the stairs, “What happened here? This isn’t good at all!”
Then Applejack said, “Well, we were showing Arrell around, but he wanted to look something up on animals.”
Then Fluttershy spoke up and said, “Yeah, and I wanted to help him find it too… but Arrell climbed up to the higher bookshelves and accidently fell off with the books falling on him.”
Twilight then continued to look in horror as her books scattered everywhere… because she is OCD and of course to her it would be like a horror movie.
Like… all you have to do to make her either mad or break down, cry, and commit suicide is to burn all of her books… and kill everyone that she loves. Yes… yes that’s what I shall do when the time comes… when she least expects it… oh I mean uhh…. if that Liam Neeson… he would be kicking my ass… because he’s Liam Neeson and he killed everyone in a bar once for no apparent reason. Yeah… that’s a good bed time story for your kids: One day Liam Neeson walked into a Bar. He killed everyone inside. The End.
Yeah… if I ever have to babysit the CMC and tuck them in at night, I’ve got to tell those three girls that… they will have sweet dreams. Anyways, Twilight looked at Arrell and put her hoof towards him as a gesture to help him get up.
Arrell took it and slowly got up while Twilight said, “Well… it was just an accident I suppose. But before we do anything else, we have to clean this up.”
Spike then said while walking over to go and get something for the clean up, “I’ll go get the list Twilight.”
Before he went to go and get what he needed, I spoke up and said, “Twilight… we don’t have all day. In fact it’s almost noon and we have roughly about an hour or two left before we switch. So how about you clean this later and have a little fun for now… that and you can you go fuck yourself with your books too you OCD tempered slut.”
Twilight didn’t say a single word for a few seconds and looked at the mess that was made.
She then was a little happy and had a smile form on her face and said, “Yeah… you’re right Knight. I should have a little fun. Let’s go ahead and continue our day and… wait… what was the last part did you say about me?”
I then stared at her awkwardly for a few seconds more and then said to her, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Twilight. By whatever do you mean?”
Then Twilight looked at me and said, “I thought I heard you say something about me Knight… what was it?”
I then looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Shhhhhhhh…. you don’t need to know.”
I said that while going up to her and placing one of my hooves onto her lips. But for some reason she blushed and smiled at that… perhaps she thought I was coming onto her. But why would I ever do that? She might be an imposter pony and might really be a black guy pony… she’s freaking purple.
Something is very suspicious about that color of hers. Maybe… her and her little Zebra buddies want to take over the world? Well… not while I was on the case… but not anymore because that was years ago. But then again… she could be… an alien lizard… nah… that’s too stupid. I mean what kind of idiot would think that up?
Well anyways, Twilight blushed and after her cheeks went back to normal color, she kept her smile and said to the others, “We should start heading out now.”
The thing was though Applejack and Fluttershy had a smile on their face, as they saw what I did was sweet and kind to Twilight. But Arrell… well it looked like he had a boner and wanted to jack it off, but he never knew if he had one that day… nope… that theme is not going to play again… I swear if it does… I’m going to get J.K. Simons to throw a chair at someone. Is it going to play? No?... good… as I was saying…
Ok… where is he at now? J.K.? J.K.? Are you here bro? No? Well then… one day then… one day I’ll get him to hurl a chair at someone’s head for that theme playing again… even if they wasn’t responsible for it… someone needs to get hit in the head for no odd reason at all.
Well anyways… Jack then got up from the floor and rubbed his head a bit and came walking to us. By looking deep into his eyes, I could tell that the brownie wore off.
He then came to us with a bit of a sick look in his eyes and said, “Owww… I feel weird for some reason. I mean... I feel fine but at the same time something feels weird, like I blacked out or something.”
Then Twilight looked at him and said, “Well… Knight did say he put something in the brownie by ‘accident,’ but I’m sure you’re fine and it will wear off, right Knight?”
I then looked at her and had a little smirk form on my face and pointed one of my hooves towards her and said, “Ha ha… you said right Knight… that sounds funny.”
She then gave me a stern look and I then said, “Oh… yeah… he’ll be fine… I think… you might want to get check out… or maybe you’ll live… or not… just kidding… (But not really though).”
Twilight then looked at me, but slowly looked away from me and then looked at the others and asked, “Ok then, since we’re all here, where should we go next?”
Arrell then said, “Well, judging by that squirrel out that window that’s taunting me to go after him… I suspect we have an hour or so left until we switch sides, and it will take us a bit to get through the path… so perhaps we should just start heading out to switch sides.”
Then Arrell turned his head out the window and saw that squirrel from when we first met on day one.
He then had a neutral expression but you can tell the look in his eyes that he was determined to kill that squirrel and burn his house down and make his family watch as he skins him alive and gouge out his eye balls. In other words… remember that one squirrel from before… well there he was… just sitting right there in front of him. Just wanting to play with his mind.
Arrell then whispered to himself very quietly, “One day squirrel… one day I will kill you… and then… only then… I will have vengeance.”
As he was saying all of that, the squirrel was putting up the middle finger to him… and then he ran away.
Twilight then said, “Well… alrighty then. Umm… then we should start heading out then.”
As Twilight was about to head out the door and lead the group once more, Jack blurted out, “But I wanted to see the train station here though.”
I then looked at him and asked, “Why in the hell would you want to see the station here? It’s just a train station. What’s so special about it that you want to see?”
Jack then said, “I know it’s nothing special… I just want to take a quick look at something… that’s all.”
I then looked at Twilight and having a face that said, ‘Ok then bitch… you’re the bottom bitch and you’re the bitch in charge here. So what should we do with the other bitches here and their whiny ass complaints. Should we give them the bitch slap or should we force feed them other bitches that we killed and make them into cannibals, or else we will burn there house down and skin their pets alive while we rape their moms.’
Yeah… something like that face.
Well, Twilight then gave a little smile and said, “Well… you guys can go ahead and take Jack to the station and we could meet you up in Stalia if it doesn’t take long.”
I then looked at Jack, then back to Twilight, and then gave a small sigh and said, “Yeah… sure, that’ll work.”
She then said to me, “Perfect. Now let’s get going girls.”
Twilight then led Applejack and Fluttershy out of her home and out into the streets to continue their day of… somewhat fun, while Spike went upstairs to do something. Maybe to touch everything and infect with AIDS or something… or maybe he has ghost AIDS. Who knows… the possibilities are endless.
Then as soon as they were outside and out of our line of sight… Arrell took his erected dick out and started to Jack off.
I then said to him, “Really Arrell… you’re going to do it here?”
Arrell then said, “I can’t help it… when you did that to her, it reminded me of a very poorly written erotic novel about a mare having sex with a dog and an old stallion”
I then looked at him with the ‘What the fuck’ face and asked, “How does that remind you of fucking a dog?”
Arrell then said, “Well I do live with animals Knight and I have no girlfriend… what do you think I do to my animals every now and then?”
I then gave him a slight eyebrow look and then moved on to Jack, in which case he then looked at me and said, “What?”
I then said to Jack, “Tell me… what’s the real reason why you wanted to go to the train station.”
Jack then said had a small little evil grin form across his face and said, “There’s a set of cargo on the train, headed for Cantorlot. It’s filled with very high classy items, but it’s not made by me. So I much destroy it!”
I then said to him, “You’re not even in competition… you’re not even selling your stuff in Cantorlot. Why do you care?”
Jack then said, “Oh... I know… but damn it! Damn all those high classy objects to the underworld! I’ll be damned if that thing ever reaches to Cantorlot! I shall ruin their business… and when the time is right… I shall move in and take their business and then my stuff will be finally sold there!”
I then looked at him and said, “First off, that’s an idiotic idea because chances are this company would have more locations being shipped to Cantorlot. And second of all… what else do you want to do at the station. I know that’s not all.”
He then looked at me and said, “Yes… but it will be one step at a time… take it slow and easy… annnnnnd… there’s this really awesome snow globe that I want there.”
I then looked at him and then said, “Alright then, let’s go.”
I then opened up the door and looked back at Arrell and told him, “And please put your dick away Arrell, this isn’t Stalia.”
Then Arrell said to me, “Well… it doesn’t hurt for the kids to have a head start in life.”
Jack then slapped him in the back of the head, in which case Arrell then changed his response to, “Yeah ok. I’ll put my dick away.”
Then we headed for the station to possibly kill a lot of innocent lives… well those kids won’t have a future for very long will they now? Well, we headed out the door and Twilight was out of sight, well on the trail to Stalia. We started to walk away from Twilight’s home while I was leading the group, until I stopped the group in mid-walk.
I then turned to them and asked them, “Wait… where’s the train station in Ponyville?”
Then Jack said, “I thought you’ve been here before and knew where it was?”
I then said to him, “Yeah… but that doesn’t mean I know everything here. And besides, at least I‘m not a psychopath when I’m criticized about my work.”
Then Jack said to me, “Well I do have my standards… and if I am insulted in such a way… by god, I will kill those who have insulted me! After all, I’m not called Classy Jack for nothing.”
And I then said to him, “And you’re also a psychopath sometimes that is sometimes very sometimes act like a normal, but yet weird stallion. While you’re that, Arrell here is messed up in the head and I question whether or not if he’s going to try and invent something that will kill all the animals by raping them in their eye sockets.”
Then Arrell butted in and said, “I actually do have such a thing in the works, but it’s in the ears and nose… not the eyes… yet… I’m still trying to make the cock big enough to penetrate the eyeballs by either making the eyes explodes or by forcing its way through. Also it’s for scientific study.”
I then looked away from him and back to Jack and told him, “Look… you two seem to be the most normal out of the six of us, but yet… the weirdest out of the six in your own unique ways.”
Then Arrell turned to me, while he was looking around in the sky for something and said, “Why thank you Knight.”
I then told him, “That really wasn’t a compliment.”
He then said with a disappointing expression, “Oh… my heart… it hurts… because of you… my friend... ”
I then rolled my eyes at him and finally told Jack, “Look, let’s just try our best to find the station so we can get out of here.”
Then Arrell butted in once more and he said, “I’ve got a suggestion to help find the station.”
We then turned our full attention to him, in which Arrell then did a surprisingly amazing bird call that singled an eagle towards us. Arrell made a bird call and then an eagle came swopping over our heads and then Arrell put his left forearm outward and the eagle landed upon it.
Arrell then said to it while strangely enough, no pony around didn’t notice the eagle, “Alright Mr. Dickhead, we need to find the train station in this town. Now find it for us… and if you do… I’ll let you rape one of the three blind mice I have held up in one of my blind mice concentration camps.”
Then the eagle made a screech and flew off to find the station. Jack then said in awe, “Wow… you have an eagle? I mean I know you have one obviously… but you got it to do that?”
Arrell then nodded and then said, “Yup… and I named him the way I did because his head looked like a dickhead.”
Jack then happily nodded, while I was also a bit in awe too, nothing special, I then asked Arrell, “Uhhh… quick question. What did you just say about the blind mice concentration camps that you have… ”
Arrell then smiled at me and said, “The what now?”
Then the eagle came back to him and landed on Arrell’s left forearm again and then pointed his beak in the direction of the station.
Arrell then said while standing on two legs, used his other free arm and patted the eagle on the head and said, “Good eagle. Now when you go home, you can rape only one blind mice… not two… one. And if I find out that you did more than one, I‘ll stab you when you’re sleeping and put you to work in a work camp like the rest of the animals that disobey me and you shall be worked to death… got it you little fucking flying cunt… now have a nice day.”
Then the eagle flew away… and possibly to never be seen again because Arrell might have worked it to death… or stabbed it to death… either way works.
Arrell then looked at us after the eagle was out of sight, “Shall we be on our then?”
I then continued to lead the three of us to the train station. We walked in the direction the eagle pointed us towards and we eventually found it. It was busy as usual and some ponies getting off the train and some getting on. Jack had a huge smile on his face, because apparently he really wanted a fucking snow globe.
I mean he doesn’t have a snow globe collection at all… apparently he just wanted a snow globe from Ponyville, which was a Ponyville snow globe.
Who knows… maybe he was obsessed with the town or something. Who knew, it was Jack after all. Well Jack went a bit ahead of us and we headed inside the train station building and there was a tiny gift shop in a corner selling various thing about Ponyville. It seemed to be doing slow, but Jack went up to it, found the snow globe that had a replica of the town, paid for it, and came walking towards us.
He then said with a smile on his face, “Isn’t it wonderful guys? Now let’s go sabotage a train.”
Then we headed outside to the train that had just came in and stop at the station.
We looked at the train and I then said, “Alright then Jack… so which train car holds the cargo now?”
Then Jack said with a slight evil grin, “Yes… well the car will be marked with the company’s logo… ‘The Royal Pony Club.”
Jack then pointed his hoof towards the car that was marked with the logo while holding his snow globe with… magic. The logo was a circle with the name cut in half at the top and bottom with a picture of a top hat and monocle.
I then said to Jack, “Seems to be a bit stereotypical when it comes to the top hat and monocle don’t you think?”
Then a very rich, snooty rich pony came up to us with a martini wine glass on his right hoof while he ppointed his nose out and said, “Why I never! You hooligans are not welcome in my fancy rich pony club. Now good day to you fine gentlecolts.”
Then the rich pony turned his back on us and continued to stick his nose out even higher than before while walking away… because that’s what rich people do. They stick their nose out as high and far away as they can. Soon or later you’ll see them trying to reach the moon with their nose.
Anyways, then I said to Jack while ignoring that rich pony guy, “Well… since we found where the cargo is held at, how should we destroy it now without getting caught.”
Then Jack put a hoof on his chin and rubbed it while he was trying to think of a clever plan.
He then soon had a light bulb go off in his head and he said to us, “Follow me.”
We then followed Jack to the front of the train and we waited for his explanation.
He then said, “We’ll rob the train and slit the train conductor’s throat, stop the train, blow it up, ???, and profit.”
I then told him, “That’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard you idiot that belongs in one of Arrell’s concentration camps.”
Then Arrell whispered in my ear, “Well that can be arranged.”
I then told him, “Be quiet you,” while giving him a weird look behind me.
Jack then said while leaning against the front of the train, “Oh really now… well I believe it’s the best plan there ever was.”
He said that while smiling… and soon the train kind of started to run backwards because apparently the brakes weren’t on the train. Then we started to see the train start slowly roll backwards and apparently it didn’t need much to move on it’s on and to slowly gain speed. Perhaps it was… magic.
Well we just stood there, shocked and looking at each other until I said, “Well what are we waiting for… let’s get on that train!”
Then we all started to run towards the backward moving train that was slowly gaining speed despite not really rolling down a hill… but you know… magic… Well, we soon caught up to it before it was too late and we all climbed aboard the train that… magic… and soon got off of the front head train… thingy… whatever it’s called… and on top of the cargo.
We then proceeded to go to the cargo and we did so by jumping the other cargo, because the cargo we were after was near the back. So we jumped and we jumped… having a slight near miss of fall to our deaths here and there, but overall fairly fine. We soon caught up to it by jumping a dining car and finally got to the train car we were looking for.
Soon we were on top and I then looked at Jack and asked him, “What should we do now!?”
I said that as loud as I could as the wind was kind of getting in the way… don’t you think? Well, Jack looked around for a moment and eventually found a way to succeed his goal. He then pointed to the link that was linking the dining car to the train car that we were on. I then shrugged and went down slowly to detach the cable link.
As I was doing that, a pony who had glasses on and wore a nice little train hat that symbolized that he worked on the train saw what we were doing.
He then gasped and said to himself as I overheard as I was trying to do my thing, “These ponies are trying to steal all the fancy cargo furniture! I must not let them get away with this, as it is my duty to work on this train, to see every shipment get to its destination!”
As I had just unlinked the two cars, the pony with the glasses pushed me aside, but I was able to get to safety though before anything bad happened, and he grabbed a hold of the two cars and wouldn’t let go.
Jack then yelled at him, “Hey! Let go now before I’ll stab you fifty times in the fucking neck you fucking bastard of a whore!”
He then yelled back, “I will never let go, no matter what you do to me whatsoever! I will not let you steal this precious cargo of fine furniture!”
Jack then yelled back, “I don’t want to fucking steal this piece of shit. I want to destroy it and become one step closer to ruining the business of this company, burn it to the ground, and put millions out of work and make them have to kill their kids and eat them! So can you let go… before I skin you alive and Arrell can make a fine skin rug out of you!”
Arrell then looked at Jack weird, but then shrugged it off. Who knows… maybe he could also do that kind of stuff as well.
Well, the pony with the glasses then said, “I will never let go, no matter what you say! And since you have told me of what you have attempted to do, I shall report you to the highest of all authorities and you three will be imprisoned for a very long time!”
I then looked up at Jack, as I wasn’t able to climb back up to him and was still hanging on the train car’s lower ledge, “Jack! Throw your snow globe at him!”
Jack then yelled back at me, “But… I love this snow globe… like a son that never disappoints!”
I then yelled back, “I’ll buy you a new one later! Now throw the damn snow globe!”
Jack then looked neutral and threw the snow globe at the guy’s face. Then soon the globe shattered everywhere on his face, leaving pieces of glass in his eyes or around.
He then was silenced for a few seconds until he finally scream very slowly, “aaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Then he let go of the train cars and got ran over and died… yay for us! We scored a point in the game of life.
Then I was able to climb aboard on top of the car and said to Jack, “Well… now what do we do!?”
Jack then held up a tank of gas out of nowhere and said, “Well… I did find this tank of gas that we can use to blow this up with.”
Then Jack went to the opposite end of the car, in which there was another tank of gas… and threw at it. Then the thing exploded and with such force, and somehow we’re not dead… magic… we ended up going on the trail to Stalia and pretty much landed near the entrance, but the girls didn’t see us thankfully… as we kind of killed some civilians while we did this on the train.
No seriously, the train that was detached from the car we were on kind of still had ponies on it and it went off the rails… killed hundreds. I mean we were murders now. And we got away with it too as there were no witnesses or survivors. Well… chances are there wouldn’t be any of them if we were around.
Well, we landed near Stalia, but within the Everfree forest however and killed some trees. Surprisingly none of us got hurt and stuff and we got off safely and headed our way towards our second half of the day… Stalia. Well, on our way, we saw the entrance and the girls waiting for, but then the other group came out and we passed them.
But then as Neon walked passed me, he stopped me in my tracks and whispered in my ear, “You’re going to have a surprise tonight.”
Then he went with the other group. I then kind of got scared, but whatever.
Then, we got to the girls and Twilight asked us, “So… did you see what you were looking for Jack?”
I then told her, “Yeah… you know what… you’ll see.”
Twilight then had a confused face on and asked, “What will I see?”
I then hesitated for a moment, but then said, “Yeah you don’t need to know.”
Then we were off to Stalia.
Group 2: Morning...
Well… we can’t forget about the other group now, can we now? No we can’t… or else it won’t be fun at all. Well, since I wasn’t there… I can’t go into too much detail… ok I’m only kidding you grammar Nazis/ annoying Cow Tippers… I know what happened and will give the details… just promise you’ll do this for me.
Kill the bear Jews… all of them. They have their bear Jew gold hiding somewhere. But the regular Jews are cool though… but not the bear Jews… they’ve always been eyeing my pie in the sky. Well, aside from that fake request… or maybe not… we begin with this group when we parted ways earlier that day. When we did, Group 2 headed off in the direction of Stalia.
On their way on walking the trail, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were excited to go to it. They both had smiles and were a bit jumpy.
Rainbow Dash said to the group, “I can’t wait to get to Stalia! I’ve heard so much from Twilight and I’m wondering if Cloud City is cool!”
Then Forest said, a bit nervously I should mention, to Rainbow Dash, “Well it is sort of like your city, it has a rainbow factory and everything. It even has more room than Cloudsdale has, but I’m sure it isn’t cool like Cloudsdale though.”
Then Rainbow Dash said to Forrest, “Nah…your city is probably cool just as Cloudsdale. Although, I’m guessing we can’t see it today since only you and I can go to it. I mean we do have Rarity, but she isn’t as good as Twilight when it comes to magic.”
Then Rarity said in response, “Yes, that may be the truth, but I do create the finest fashion in Ponyville.”
Then Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at her, but in a good way though.
Then Rainbow looked at Pinkie Pie and continued to smile and asked her, “So Pinkie Pie, what are you looking forward to seeing in Stalia?”
Then Pinkie said while jumping a lot, as she is high on something, “I’m excited to meet and make new friends there! I know they will already be happy since they have Neon there, right Neon?”
Then Neon said with a very creepy smile, but the others weren’t disturbed by it though, “Yup!”
Then Rarity spoke up and said, “Well I’m looking forward to seeing what everypony is wearing. Perhaps I can even work with Classy Jack and spread a good line of clothing throughout Stalia. That and I’m sure these fine gentlecolts here will give us a fine tour of their nice little town.”
Then Mac looked back to Rarity as he walked forward and said, “Yeah right… ’little town.’ Your town seems to be little.”
Then Rainbow went up to Mac and asked him a serious question but in a fun tone…in a weird way and asked, “What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying your town is better than our town?”
Mac then said to her, “Well this town does have my apples… while your town has Applejack apples.”
Then Rainbow said, “Come on! Applejack is the best… especially when she makes her cider… ”
Rainbow then licked her lips and couldn’t help but think of her precious apple cider and when it only came once a year. Then after a while longer, they came up to the entrance to Stalia and the three girls were excited to see what was in it.
Then Neon said, “Welcome to Stalia, You crazy ponies!”
He said that while his eyes were being crossed, and the others seemed to have noticed a bit except for Pinkie Pie, who joined with him and said, “This is great!” Then Pinkie started to break into song.”
I’m here, in Stalia. I’m here, to spread joy and cheer. I’m here, to make ponies laugh. I’m here, to brighten everypony’s day. I will make a party, for everypony that is new. I will make a friend, that everypony that is blue. But I am in Stalia. So I am gladly to make everypony’s day. I’m here, in Stalia.
She was singing that song while playing her accordion that she usually brings along… because you know… Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. She also went crazy and looked at everypony that she came across.
They had a bit of a smile on their faces… until Neon came up behind them and either knocked them out and let Pedo Bear rape them or bash their head in with a bat and kill them… while giving them cookie AIDS.
No one noticed, but it should be pointed out. As soon as Pinkie was done with her solo, the group went up to her and smiled at her… except for Mac because he was also a jealous douche.
Then Rarity then said to the entire group, “Well then… shall we be on our way and get this tour started.”
She then looked at Mac and asked him, “So then, where shall we head to first?”
Then Pinkie jumped up and down and blurted out, “Oooo… ooo… ooo! We should go and visit the Party Store! It sounds like a great place to be at and party!”
Then Neon also blurted out too, “And I work there too!”
Then his head cocked to the left slightly like a mad man.
Then Rarity said, “Well then, what are we waiting for then? Show us the way Mr. Party.”
Then Neon lead the way… and thank god he didn’t lead them into an insanity death trap… or else they would have never been heard from ever again. Then again, they were going to a place of his that he works at, so they were screwed anyways… but not really since they seemed normal when we switched places. Well, Neon led the way to the Party Store.
They walked around town and Pinkie smiled at the new faces that see saw while ponies greeted them with joy in their hearts. It was all good and surprisingly they didn’t threaten the Elements of Harmony at all. Then again, perhaps they wanted them to think that way, but deep down they had a plot to kill them, harvest their organs on the black market, and make profit… while there is a missing step three.
Who knows honestly what the citizens of Stalia were thinking that day. I mean they did see themselves as rivals to Ponyville in many ways. Then again the history and origins of Stalia does have something to do with Ponyville, but that will be revealed later down the road. Anyways, they eventually got to the Party Store and Neon opened up the door for them. Pinkie went in first, as she was the party pony type and was very eager to see what waited inside for her.
Of course it would be great for her, as the store consisted of three areas. The party supply area where party supplies can be bought. The bakery area, where cakes and other sweets can be also bought and keep in mind, freshly made… by Neon.
So you know… poison and stuff… or he didn’t do anything with the baked goods… or maybe he did do something with it like infect it was a disease that will cripple you from the waist down… ohhhhh… I’ve got it now.
Well then… never mind… no wait… never mind never mind… as in forget what I had put down… as I have just realized what Neon had put in the goods… and you don’t want to know… at all.
Period. As for the final part of the store, there was a party room for either birthdays or social events and whatever… but I’m sure if it was a bar mitzvah… if to say Pony Jews existed in this universe… there would be some ‘complications’ I should say. Did that get you off Grammar Nazis? No? Well then I’ve got nothing then. Well, Pinkie went in and she felt like she was in paradise… as it looked beautiful to her.
She said out loud as the others were walking in, “Wow! This place is amazing! There are balloons, streamers, cakes, cookies, party hats… and even a party room! And you say you work here Neon!?”
Then Neon responded with, “Yup… and I also live here… ”
Then one of his eyes started to move around a little bit as he was going a bit insane and such, as he always was… forever… and ever… and ever.
Well, then Pinkie asked, “Cool! Can I see your room?”
Then Neon responded while dropping his head down to the side, “Nope!”
Then Pinkie had a small frown on her face and she asked, “Awwwwe… but why not?”
Then Neon said, “You don’t know the secret password you silly little pink bitch.”
Pinkie didn’t hear the last word, but she tried her best to figure out what the password was.
She then started to guess, “Is it Frosting?”
Neon then said, “No.”
Pinkie then thought for a moment and then asked, “Is it Cake?”
Then Neon said once again, “Nope.”
Then Pinkie then thought for a few more seconds and then asked, “Is it cookie, party, streamers, party hat, party music, dancing, fun, or party cannon?”
Then Neon said, “Nope… the correct answer is dead baby body with an alligator up its ass… sorry… but thanks for playing. As a reward for trying, you get AIDS.”
Then Pinkie was confused for a bit and she asked, “What’s AIDS?”
Then Neon slowly twisted his neck clockwise, while making a bone cracking sound very slowly until around 90 degrees, he said to Pinkie, “I’m going to go to my room now.”
Then he had his head returned to normal and headed upstairs to his room. When he was galloping upstairs, the others were looking around and Rainbow Dash said while slightly hovering… not sure why, but then gain wings are cool.
Anyways, she said, “Wow, this place is cool. Maybe we can hang out here sometime.”
Then Forrest went up to her and said to her, “Yeah… that would be great.”
He said that as a smile formed on his face and slowly started to think of all the things that would get him off because he did have a crush on her. I mean obviously he would want that… and still stalk her and possibly jack off to her right in front of her.
But hey… that’s what love is all about… jacking off in front of your loved one. It lets them know that you’re lonely as shit and maybe a psychopath or may or may not commit suicide… take your pick. Well, that’s true love for you. Then Mr. Sweet, the store’s owners as I once mentioned before, came walking out with a walking stick… as he was very old. Of course he we standing on two hooves, since he was holding onto a walking stick and everything.
He also wore a pair of glasses, the type where you can’t exactly see through his eyes. You know… that type of cartoon type of glasses where you don’t see the eye balls. Where you want to scoop out the eyeballs… and touch it… and lick it and smell and… wait… you don’t do that kind of stuff? Oh well… well Mr. Sweet was also slow as well, especially when he walked. Mr. Sweet came up behind the counter in the bakery, as the group was in the bakery area as the bakery was in the middle, the party room was to the left, and the party store was to the right.
He then said to the group, in a very old man-ish style voice that felt stereotypical, “Oh… hello there… what can I do for you young ponies?”
Then Rarity said, “Oh, why thank you. We were just looking around. I suppose you’re Mr. Sweet I presume?”
Then Mr. Sweet said, “Yup… that’s me. I’ve owned and ran this shop for a good while now. I don’t exactly remember how many years, my mind isn’t what it used to be if you know what I’m saying.”
Then Rarity asked, “Well yes, that is true. But may I ask where is Mrs. Sweet at?”
Then Mr. Sweet said, “Oh yes… the misses. Well she’s up in our room, doing her things. She’s a bit complicated at times, but with mares, you can’t live without them though, am I right there young stallions?”
Forrest and Mac didn’t respond but just stand there and looked at Mr. sweet. As for Mrs. Sweet, well she was up in their bedroom and sitting on a rocking chair, swaying back and forth slowly while the creaking noise made constantly. She also had an old record playing as she sat there, looking outside the window on the bright morning.
However, she didn’t move other than move the chair back and forth and kept on a smile while a slightly creepy old tune was playing on the record player that she had playing. And that’s what she did all day while having an old picture in black and white next to her chair.
She also says to herself, “He’s going to come back home. I just know it. I know he had to leave for the great war, but he’ll be coming back… any day now. And when he comes, we’ll be a family again. My son promised me he would come back home safe. He’s going to comeback any day now. He said so in his letters that he sent sixty years ago. He’ll be coming back and coming through that door any minute now. Any time now… our son will come back from the great war………… He’s going to come back home.”
And she constantly says that night and day and does not leave that chair, so how she’s still alive beats me. But hey…at least she’s doing something with her life by waiting for a son that will never come back from a war because he’s dead.
Well, that’s what Mrs. Sweet does upstairs and I’m not sure how long she did it for at all, other than she’s been doing it night and day, but whatever.
Well, back with Mr. Sweet downstairs, he then continued on to say, “Yup. She’s the love of my life. Although I didn’t always own this shop here. I was actually in the military many years ago for the town in Stalia. In fact, that’s been the case for my father and his father. But I ended up retiring and settling down here and taking it easy. I actually enjoy it. Although I am in my old age, so that’s why I hired help and hired a nice young stallion named Neon Party. He seems to be a nice kid and does good when I’m not around to run the place.”
Then Rainbow Dash said, ignoring the Neon bit, “Cool! I bet you have a lot of cool war stories to tell!”
Then Mr. Sweet said, “Oh yes, I have plenty of stories to tell, but I’m afraid I don’t have time to tell you young gang about my times in the war. I’ve got a little party to set up and… ”
Pinkie Pie jumped up and yelled in excitement, “Did you just say party!?”
Mr. Sweet then said, “Oh why yes… yes I did.”
Then Pinkie continued to yell, “I love parties! Can I help out and entertain the guests?”
Then Mr. Sweet said, “Well I don’t know… it’s some young filly’s birthday party and what not.”
Then Pinkie then said to him, “Oh, I love doing birthday parties! I can make them laugh and smile!”
Then Mr. sweet said, “Well alright then, but I can’t pay you much for your hard work.”
Then Pinkie said, “Oh don’t worry about paying me. I’ll just be happy to make others smile!”
Then Mr. Sweet said, “Well alright then. Go ahead in the party room. Everything is set up and ready to go. The guests should be arriving any minute now.”
Then Pinkie said, “Alright! I can’t wait to tell my funny jokes to the birthday girl!”
Then the group followed Pinkie as she jumped with joy into the party to the left. As for Mr. Sweet, he slowly walked with his walking stick to the party room… as in he took a step every five seconds.
He said while the group was walking into the party room, “Hold on their fellows… I’m ah coming.”
It took him about fifteen minutes or so to get there, but he made it into the party room. Then, the group waited and waited and three hours had passed and no one showed up. Everyone was bored except for Mac as he just thought about killing Applejack or whatever he thinks.
And as for Pinkie, well she was a bit worried, but kept looking outside the window to see if anyone was coming towards the party store. she still kept hopping up and down and was excited, but still no one showed up.
Rainbow Dash finally then said, “What’s taking so long? I thought you said they were going to be here three hours ago?”
Then Mr. sweet said, “What are you talking about, they are already here?”
Then everyone, even Pinkie Pie, looked with confusion as the old stallion continued to put a smile on his old wrinkling face.
Then Pinkie went up close to Mr. sweet and asked, “Oh, I know! They’re hidden somewhere in the room and playing hide and seek! I’m great at playing hide and seek! Come out, come out where ever you are…”
Then Mr. sweet stopped her and said, “No, they’re not hiding, they’re sitting on the floor, right there.”
Then Pinkie looked confused once more and started to question what he was talking about. However, through the eyes of Mr. Sweet what he saw was a bunch of sad little children, that had bruises all over them and dirt on their faces along with them wearing old timey cloths and such.
Some were crying while others had bandages on and one child had even a forearm amputated. Now what Mr. Sweet saw was a little kid wearing an old messed up vest with a little cap on his head with bruises and dirt all over his face.
He then said to Mr. sweet with a sad and depressing tone in his voice, “Why… why Mr. Sweet? Why didn’t you save us? Why didn’t you save our families when the enemy invaded our town? Aren’t you supposed to be a solider? A solider that can help us when in need? Why… why didn’t you save us? Now we’re dead and we’re lost forever and ever. Why… why didn’t you save us?”
Then Mr. sweet, which he said with a still smile on his face and his old man tone, “Oh… have a lollipop there Billy.”
Then Mr. Sweet grabbed a lollipop and tried to hand it to what he was seeing but it really wasn’t there. He then dropped it, but no one or the non really existing ghost kids caught it.
Then the kid that had an amputated arm walked up and then said to Mr. Sweet, “Don’t you care about us sir? We were slaughtered and burned alive. We could have had our own lives… but when the war broke out… you didn’t save us… why didn’t you save us?”
Then Mr. Sweet said, “Ohhh… I see you want something more sweet… well here is some chocolates for you. uhhhh… there you go.”
Mr. Sweet pulled out a tiny piece of expired piece of chocolate and dropped it on the floor, but he thought the kids were enjoying it.
He then said, “Now how about I tell you younglings a good story about when I was your age and how my father beat me up to a bloody pulp for not following orders. You kids might enjoy it.”
As the group saw Mr. sweet really talking to nothing, they thought he was a bit crazy. Rainbow Dash then made the motion of saying to the others that he was cuckoo and such. Meanwhile, upstairs in Neon’s bedroom, Neon was floating in mid air moving his arms up and about and such while weird blobs that flashed different colors of the rainbow and somehow talked also floated by Neon.
They were saying, “Bleep… bloop bob… bleep bloop bop. Bop… bitty bop... poop poop, bob bob... bleep bloob bop. Neon… what are you doing? You’ll be late for the party for a kid downstairs.”
He blob that was nearest to Neon said that while the other blobs continued to making their bleeps and bloops, but also said it in a robotic voice.
Neon then responded with, “Don’t worry robotic blob from the dimension batman symbol, I have everypony right here.”
Then Neon opened up his closet door, and there and behold, he had the ponies that were supposed to be there at the party downstairs tied up and some whad their mouths duct taped in his closet.
The birthday filly, a nice young looking filly asked Neon, “Please… let us go… I beg of you.”
Then her father cut in and said, “If not… just please let the children go in peace! Take us instead!”
Then Neon said while his eye pupils were slowly drifting away like a madman, “Nope!”
Then Neon took out a long and sharp knife and started to cut through the father’s skin. He cut through the skin like it was hot butter and started to pull out his organs, as the father screamed in pain and agony. Blood was leaving his body at a quick pace and Neon was harvesting his organs and threw his intestines like it was nothing to the ground.
After he was finished, the father was dead… and he looked upon the children and said “Feeding time!”
Then he took the birthday filly, grabbed some of her father’s organs… and force fed it to the filly. Then he did some more stuff to the others, but it was pretty much the same thing with a few differences here and there... like skinning some alive, scooping out their eyeballs with a fork, and force feeding all of their children their own blood.
Well, about half an hour later, the group was wondering where Neon was at and what was taking so long to join the group… but then all of the lights except for the party room went off.
And then… a wagon filled with dead children slowly came through the bakery door while a creepy, slowed down version of a classic circus song played.
The group started to get a bit scared and had their mouths opened in shock, but then Forrest, along with Mac for no odd reason going along with what Forrest was saying through his actions, said to the girls, “Maybe we should leave.”
Then both Forrest and Mac pushed the girls out of the party store and out into the outside world while Mr. sweet wasn’t even noticing anything at all. Then, once they got outside… another wagon went through the bakery door, but went a little bit farther than the wagon with the dead, eyeless kids… well at least some that is…and it was a big cake.
Then… Neon jumped out of it and started to do a little dance as well… while wearing the dead filly’s father’s skin.
He then started to say, “Happy birthday my wonderful daughter of mine… it’s me… your father!”
Then Neon pulled back the father’s head skin back to reveal his face and said, “Nah…. just kidding… it’s me, your buddy Neon. Your father’s dead! But here, have a piece of cake you silly little filly.”
Neon then grabbed some cake and threw at the dead body of the birthday girl. Then Neon got out of the skin and went outside to join the others once more. I’ve got to tell you… a bit creepy in my mind… but that was Neon for you. Always being weird and creepy.
Well, soon the group was standing around near the party store’s entrance, figuring out what to do next.
Then Neon arrived and Rainbow asked him, “Where were you? We were waiting for you hours ago?”
Then Neon said, “Just doing something fun.”
Then Pinkie Pie said with a smile and asked, “Fun!? What kind of fun?”
Then Neon responded with, “A birthday party kind of fun!”
Then Forest jumped between the conversation and said, “Listen… it’s nice and all you’re two are talking, but we don’t have a lot of time since we have an hour or two left before we have to switch towns. And I’m sure you three would want to see more than just the party store. So how about we go to… I don’t know… Mac’s apple farm perhaps?”
Then Mac yelled at Forrest and said, “Oh no you don’t! We’re not going there… besides… they’re the friends of Applejack… I don’t trust them near my perfectly good apples.”
Then Rainbow Dash said to him, “Relax dude, we’re not going to touch your apples. We just want to go and visit there.”
Then Mac put his hoof on his chin and then said, “Alright then… but you better not even dare touch anything with your… Applejack infested hooves.”
Rainbow dash rolled her eyes at Mac and then Mac proceeded to lead the way to his farm. His farm was a bit of a ways to go, since it was a farm and everything, so it was almost outside of town and what not. Eventually they got there, took them awhile, but they got there in a certain amount of time.
When they did, Pinkie Pie was happy to see the apples, while Rarity looked around to see anything that she could fine.
However, Rainbow Dash then said, “This looks like what Applejack’s farm looks like.”
Then Mac turned around and was steamed to hear such a sinful thing to his ears and pointed at Rainbow Dash and asked, “Are you implying that my farm is like her farm!? If you are… you can get out… I will not stand for you saying Applejack’s farm is better or equal to my farm whatsoever!”
Then Rainbow Dash said to him, trying her best to fix the situation, “Calm down… I’m not saying that your farm is worse than Applejacks… I’m saying that… your farm is better than hers.”
Then Mac stared at her for a few seconds and then quietly said to her, “I’m watching you.”
They then continued down the path a little more until they reached his house. Shadow and his friend White were sitting near one of the pig pens… because like Applejack… Mac wants to be better than her in every way… so that’s why the pigs had AIDS. AIDS infested bacon he would sell… at the market… along with the fact that it had the swine flu in it… which in other words is an Asian guy.
Or in this case, an Asian pony, that stood there and rob whoever went by the bacon. That and apparently Mac was selling meat, which is odd since no pony here eats meat, but maybe that’s how he thinks he can be better than Applejack. Well, Shadow and White were by the pig pens and were basically sitting down, playing with rocks.
They were trying their best to have fun with it and use their imagination. But we all now know that anything associated with a rainbow and unicorns equals to being gay or homosexual if you prefer the term.
Because we all know that a rainbow equals imagination… and rainbows in society is gay, says every hardcore redneck ever. In which case they grab their shotguns and start killing other gays and calling it god’s duty... and then you get the religious people in and you might as well nuke the area because it’s all fucked both ways from Sunday.
I’m sorry, the Jewish Sabbath day just makes every Nazi happy… because… of reasons. Anyways, The group saw the kids, mores specifically the girls, and they went up to them… even more specific, Pinkie Pie.
She zoomed past the others, with eagerness in her heart to meet the kids and when she went up to them, she asked, “Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie, what are your names!?”
Then Shadow spoke up and said, “Hello, I’m Shadow Eclipse. And this is my friend here White Demon. Although he’s just called White Demon because of his brother Jack.”
Then Pinkie Pie shook Shadow’s hoof and said, “Hi Shadow, nice to meet you! I love to meet new friends and make ponies smile.”
Then Shadow said, “Ummm… ok… but why are you telling us this?”
Then Pinkie said, “Because you’re not smiling. And I will not stand for others to be frowning. So I am determined to make you smile anyway possible. So… what’s the problem?”
Eventually, the group caught up to Pinkie and they just let her do all the talking.
Shadow then said, “Well, since my big brother Mac won’t let us have anything at all, we’re bored and all we can do is find rocks. But we can’t seem to think of anything fun to do with them. That and another friend of ours is missing. We saw her a few days ago, but we can’t seem to find her.”
Then Pinkie said with a smile on her face and cheer in her tone, “Don’t worry Shadow, we’ll find your missing friend!”
Then Rainbow Dash, “Yeah, we can help you out. What does she look like?”
Then Shadow said, “Well… she usually wears a cloak that looks like a bunch of rags. She isn’t too much into fun it seems, but she seemed like a good friend though. She even defended us from bullies one time. But I don’t think you can find her. We honestly don’t know where she even came from at all. She honestly came out of nowhere a few days ago and asked to be ours friends.”
Then White continued with, “Then we said yes and now we have something what my brother Jack calls a whore… according to him that is. I’m not sure because I’ve seen him go on a lot of dates and now I know what not to do on dates thanks to him, because they always ended up slapping him in the face when he came home and ended up crying in his bedroom. And when I saw him cry… he said to get out of his shop because I was trying to steal things from him… despite it not being true whatsoever. But he hates me and rather not know that I exists. Now I live with a pack of friendly Timber Wolves surprisingly, but all they do is give me a slab of bunny meat and blood to drink… but at least they’re more kind and stuff. But it’s sad they don’t talk.”
Then the girls just stared at him and there was silence for a while until Pinkie said, “Don’t worry! I’m sure your friend will turn up any day safe and sound! But while you’re waiting, we can have fun together!”
Then Shadow then asked, “But how? We only have rocks.”
Then White then said, “Yeah… and some kid got a rock once for Nightmare Night once, bashed in the guy’s head that gave the rock to him, and took his money because he said he got a rock.”
Then Pinkie then said, “Just leave it to me, your friend Pinkie Pie!”
Then she started to sing once more… as Pinkie is Pinkie Pie.
All you need to have fun is a little imagination. All you need to have fun is a little idea. When you put the two together, what do you get?...
Then, the group decided as Pinkie was singing her song to the two kids, Rainbow Dash said quietly without interrupting her song, “We should leave Pinkie Pie alone for now.”
And Pinkie continued her song with the kids which we will not even concentrate on… but the Jews might… got joke? You get it? It’s concentration… Jews… Holocaust… no? Well the Grammar Nazi’s know what I’m talking about right? Yeah, you guys know what I’m talking about… you sick people.
Anyways, the group moved along without Pinkie and then Rarity then said, “So how about you give us a tour of your… Apple farm Mac? I would like to very much see it.”
Then Mac looked at her rude and then said, “Alright… but if you mess with anything or you give any information to Applejack about this place’s weak points… I will find you… and I will kill you… by forcing apples down your throat for helping Applejack.” Rarity looked a bit scared, but she looked like she ignored it. Well, Mac then led the group and first showed them the barn. He said when he got to the barn, “This is the barn, do not ask what goes inside of there.”
Then a guy with a bloody face opened the barn door and yelled, “Help me!”
Then Mac closed the door forcibly. Then the door opened the door again and the same guy and said, “He’s fucking crazy! He’s torturing me if I know anything about Applejack… I have no idea who that pony is at all!”
Then Mac said quietly to him, “Shhhh… you do know her you liar. I saw you walk by her place three months ago.”
Then the guy said, “I’m not even from around here!”
Then Mac closed the door again and the guy was continued to be tortured by Asian ponies that Mac hired.
Then Mac said, “Moving on… ”
They then went by a well and he said, “This is the farm’s well. And it may or may not hide dead bodies in it that I have tortured to death in any possible way. It is also a wishing well… a fake one that is… because Applejack isn’t dead yet. Let’s continue on here.”
They then moved on and there wasn’t much other than an outhouse, two trees that he constantly fights when drunk, and a tool shed for farming equipment and such. However, they reached the final place on the farm and it was his house.
Mac then said when they got there, “Then this is my house… don’t go snooping around in it now. Especially you Applejack spies. Anyways, that’s about it other than having some farm animals that I may or may not suspect they have anything to do with Applejack at all.”
He then started to have shifty eyes.
Then Rainbow Dash asked a question, “So… is it only you and your brother here on the farm?”
Then Mac said to her, “Oh no. There is our Pa. He just lies face down on the coach all day.”
Then Rarity said, “He must be really old then to just sit around doing nothing on a farm then I assume.”
Then Mac said, “Nope… he’s been laying there for the last ten years… but he’s just sleeping.”
Rarity then looked at Rainbow Dash, but they then moved on. They went back to check on Pinkie Pie, and she was out of song, but she was playing with the two kids. She was standing firmly on the ground, with Shadow on her back, with then White on top near an apple tree, picking apples.
In fact, there was an apple near the ground near Pinkie… and Mac saw it and started to boil with rage from deep within.
He then said, “You pink blob son of a bitch!”
Then Pinkie looked confused and said, “Huh?”
Then Mac said, “You think you can take one of my apples and get away with it!? I’ll show you… I’ll show you all Applejack spies!”
Then Mac started to chase off the three girls, while Neon and Forrest tried to chase Mac and capture him before he could do any harm to them. Now why didn’t the girls fight back, it was possibly because… Mac had a knife. And you don’t bring fists... hooves... whatever... to a knife fight.
Well, Shadow and White were left on the farm with depression because Pinkie was gone and they were having fun with her. But when the group got back into town, Forrest and Neon caught Mac and held him down and took the knife away from him.
Rainbow then asked, “What in the name of Equestria is wrong with him!?”
Forrest then said, “He really hates Applejack. I’ve been friends with him for a while and all I can say is try and say something that you hate about Applejack and he’ll calm down about everything. I mean I’m real sorry that he’s like this… it’s just that he really hasn’t any good relations with his cousin.”
Then Pinkie Pie then said, while Mac continued to struggle to break free of the hold he was under, “Awwwe… it’s ok… we forgive you. He just needs to smile… ”
Then Mac yelled at her and said, “I’ll smile your face off bitch! I’ll cut it off and shove it up your pink asshole you Applejack slut!”
Then Pinkie said, “Well that’s not nice.”
Then Forrest said, “Look, I know if you may not like him, especially with him threatening to kill you and everything, but honestly if you don’t say nothing now, he’ll break free and kill you all.”
Rainbow Dash then said, “Well we can forgive him I guess. As long as he doesn’t try to kill us again. Anyways, let me think of something.”
Rainbow thought and then said, “Applejack is the slowest runner in Equestria.”
Then Mac settled down and he was then let go. He looked Rainbow in the eyes and was no longer angry and said, “Yeah… she’s slow alright… she’ll never be able to escape my grasp once I’ve got her and ready to take my revenge upon her. Glad to see we could see eye to eye… but you… Pinkie… I’m watching you though.”
Then Forrest spoke up and said, “So… uhhh… what should we do next?”
Then Rainbow Dash asked, “Does your town have like… any myths or anything like that. That would be cool.”
Then Neon said out loud, “We do have a myth! It’s right by the Everfree Forest! Onwards we go!”
Then the group followed Neon. Now, as for this myth thingy, there’s a whole bunch of those myths throughout Stalia. It’s just that this myth in particular is one of many myths. Now some of the myths are actually interesting and can be creepy… while at other times it is odd and stuff, but… whatever.
Well, Neon led the group towards the edges of the Everfree Forest. It wasn’t near the path that connected Stalia and Ponyville, it was just the typical edges of the Everfree Forest and Stalia. Soon they were on green fields, since the edges were fairly far away from Stalia, but not too far through where you can still see the town from a distance.
Soon, they found one of the many myths of Stalia… a fucking stone rock. It was like… sitting right near the edges of the Everfree Forest and everything. Apparently it had a myth behind it. Of course… who knows… maybe the stone rock was put there because someone buried too many dead bodies in that area. Or maybe the stone rock was some ancient mythical thing. Or maybe it was just a fucking stone rock… which I question if they exist back on Earth and everything. I mean the two words mean the same I think… but at the same time I think it means something else.
I’m not sure and I rather not look into it as I’m afraid I’m going to find something creepy like Neon was behind it all. Then again he did create the universe and I was his co-creator… so most likely yes… yes he did create the stone rock. And he created everything in his own image. And created Equestria in six days. And on the seventh day… he stabbed someone… in the throat… like a good bar joke.
Like… a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face… then the horse stabs him… right in the throat. And he strangles him too with a dirty wire… and a pillow… he smothers him with a pillow to death. Then he goes outside and starts to beat up a hobo and soon gets into a shoot out with the cloud cops. Then he dies…. and drama is everywhere like a black women who has lost her cell phone and cocaine… because she’s black. And she’s a sassy bitch too. Well, whatever happened… the rock could have been put there naturally, but in all honesty… people like to think as if it was special… even though it wasn’t… like themselves.
Anyways, Neon soon led them to the rock and said to the group while showing it off to the girls, as the other two knew about the rock already, “Ta da! The ancient mythical stone rock!”
The three girls put on confused faces as they were wondering what kind of myth this was. I mean… it was just a stone rock. Who knew… perhaps it was an evil stone rock monster. Actually that sounds cool.
It’s like… there should have been Rock Lobsters during Noah’s time and stuff… and like… a rock lobster Moses… and he would say, “Let my lobsters go!”
Then he would like… go back into the red sea and die. That’s what it sounds like to me.
Well, soon Rainbow Dash then asked, “Uhhh… is this really it?”
Then Neon started to nod his head very slowly.
Then Rainbow Dash fell to the ground, with her hooves on her stomach and started to laugh, “Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Are you kidding me! Ha ha ha ha ha! Your myth is a rock! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
As Rainbow was laughing… Neon started to nod his head faster and faster while keeping a stable smile. Soon… it looked like he was going at supersonic speed with his nodding.
Who knows… maybe he was sonic and killed off Sega because he was a douche. Anyways, soon Rainbow stopped laughing and Neon stopped nodding. Rainbow then put up her right hoof to her face to wipe a tear of happiness away from her eyes.
She then said as she was getting herself up from the ground, “I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious to take seriously. I mean your town has a myth… and it’s all about a rock.”
Neon then said, “Well… we have more myths… like if you put a dildo in a bear’s ball sack before midnight on a Sunday once every blue moon, he’ll give you magical AIDS. And this Rock isn’t just any rock… it’s a Stone Rock.”
Rainbow then asked while keeping a smile, “Oh yeah… and what’s so special about this… Stone… Rock?”
Then Neon said in a happy tone as always, “It has a cult religion!”
Then Rainbow then lost her smile and said, “A what now?”
Then Neon said, “I said it has a cult religion Rainbow. Do you have dead body blood in your ears… or are you just being a little bitch that you are?”
Rainbow then asked, “Well uhhh… I’m just shocked that there is a religion that has to do something with this rock. That and what do they think about god and all?”
Then Neon said to the group, “Well, if you follow me, I’ll take you to the church where they worship this rock and another super intelligent being as well. In fact, it’s not too far where I helped an android bury the bodies one night ago!”
They then headed towards left of the Stone Rock, as Neon continued to lead the way on. They followed him and about ten minutes they found what Neon was talking about, where a place of worship was made near the Everfree Forest and there was some ponies there that day and at that time worshipping right then and there. There were some cult members inside, but some outside while in a two line formation outlining the door while holding candle sticks that were lit. Now you’re know it’s messed up because it’s still daylight outside and there’s lit candles.
I mean it’s not like a birthday or something. I mean it’s just weird… like a guy who is always by himself or is always at a kids playground… because according to society, that’s weird and that guy may harm someone. But you know… ponies and stuff.
Well, Rainbow Dash then asked, “Who do they worship in there?”
Then Neon said while walking towards the entrance of the church house… which basically looked like a church building. Just a regular one.
Well, while he was walking in, Neon explained, “These are called The Waiters, as they wait for their god to come and save them when the day comes when everypony goes to pony hell and they get saved into kingdom come (cum) and party like it’s 1999!
Neon continued to exclaim with excitment in his eyes. Almost as if he wanted to explain all of this to the Elements of Harmony. And that he was waiting for the perfect time to do so... and that perfect time was then... or now depending on how you want to look at this time wise.
Neon continued to explain to the group, ‘And they come here just about every day to sacrifice a goat or whatever they can find lying around and worship… Pancake Monster God! They believe by worshipping him, when the day that everypony that does not worship him that go to pony hell, will also protect them from the evil Stone Rock monster, so they pray to him for protection and guidance, so that one day, they may be able to go to a better place and do drugs.”
As Neon stopped talking, the group was silent as they looked upon a stain glass window picture of the holy Pancake Monster God. The Pancake Monster God was just really a bunch of pancakes mused together. With a little syrup on top and a bit of butter. That was it with razor sharp teeth and glowing red eyes that looked like he was pissed off. Then the group looked upon another glass stained picture and saw the Stone Rock Monster… which was just a Stone Rock monster… that’s it. Just… made out of stone Rock.
But as the group was silent… dead silent… the worshippers started to get louder and louder in the church room that it became scary.
In fact, Rainbow then said to the group, “Alright… this is starting to get kind of creepy. Let’s get out of here.”
The group then followed her outside the church… except for Neon. He just continued to stare at the picture of Pancake monster God with an evil smile on his face… but a happy one at that.
Then, a cult member came near him, in which Neon noticed him and asked him, “So… how do I get Pancake Monster God to come down to the land of the living?”
The cult member then said, “You must sacrifice a retarded golden duck… and then shove it up a cow’s ass while doing a specific dance that we like to call… the Macarena…”
Then Neon said to him, “Thanks!”
Then Neon started stab him a few times and then left as the cult member was wallowing on the ground in pain and agony.
Soon, the group was far away from the church, in which case, Rainbow said, “I’m glad we’ve got out of there… that place was starting to creep me out.”
Then Rarity put her two cents in by saying, “Yes… I do agree with you dear. That place was rather… odd.”
She then looked around and then asked, “Where is Neon at?”
Then Neon appeared from out of nowhere with a little blood on his face and said, “Hi guys! It’s almost time to switch sides.”
Then Rainbow came up to him and said with happiness, “Sweet! Now we can show you guys how awesome Ponyville is!”
Then Neon said, “Sure! But first can we do a prank before we go?”
Then Rainbow then said, “A prank? Me and Pinky loves pranks! Yeah… sure… we can do it before we go!”
Neon then said, “Great! Follow me you two. We’ll see you three at the exit… or else I’ll kill you… ”
Then they were off to go back into town and do a little ‘prank joke.’ The other half that wasn’t with Neon went ahead and went towards the entrance of Stalia that went to the path that led to Ponyville. When Neon, Rainbow and Pinkie got back into town, Neon stopped in the middle, looking around for the victim.
Rainbow and Pinkie had smile were looking around also. Soon, Rainbow saw a mare with a bright purple mane watering her flowers near her house.
Rainbow then asked while pointing to the mare, “Should we prank her?”
Then Neon said while still looking for a victim to kill… I mean pull a very funny prank on… ha ha ha, ”Nope. She’s too vulnerable.”
Then Pinkie looked around and saw a filly and a colt playing hopscotch outside near a building that sold toys and other such goods for kids.
Pinkie then said while jumping up and down, “Are we going to prank those little kids?”
Then Neon said while still looking around for a victim to pull the prank on, “Nope… they’re souls aren’t ripe for harvesting yet.”
Then Pinkie looked confused and asked, “What does souls have to do with anything?”
Then Neon finally found his victim, who was a young stallion that looked fresh out of college, was well groomed, and had a saddle on with one of his side pockets on his left containing his pouch full of bits.
Neon then said to the girls, “I found him.”
Then Rainbow and Pinkie waited eagerly for Neon to pull the prank on the guy while Neon quietly snuck up on the guy. Neon went up behind the young stallion and then lightly poked him with his right hoof on the back. The stallion turned around to see Neon smiling, but a little confused, but was still somewhat happy though.
Neon then said to the stallion when he turned around to see him, “Hi.”
Then Neon punched him in the mouth, which the stallion wasn’t expecting and couldn’t hold still when the blow came to his head. So his head was looking away and couldn’t see what Neon was going to do next. Neon then stood on two hooves and grabbed a can of gasoline out of nowhere and quickly poured it all over the stallion.
Then when the stallion went to look up at Neon, Neon lit a match that he also got from nowhere because… he’s Neon… get over it. Neon then threw the match on the guy and the stallion was burning alive. The stallion was then screaming in pain and was running circles while Neon just stood there, smiling. Soon, the stallion stood in one place again, in which case Neon moved in on him with a knife and stabbed him a few times in the stomach.
Soon the stallion was lying on the ground, not screaming whatsoever because he couldn’t tell which was worse, being stabbed or being burned alive. Then Neon took his pouch filled with money and stepped back. Then Neon made two poodles come out of nowhere and made those two poodles take turns raping each other in the butt.
Right up the asshole. Then the poodles started raping the stallion as he was burned alive and bleeding out from several stab wounds while a poodle was raping his mouth and the other one in his butthole. Then Neon walked away while Rainbow and Pinkie was shocked and couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
Neon then said while walking up to them, “Time to switch towns now… ”
Then Neon somehow pulled the two girls along to the other group so they can switch spots. Now we get to the part we now continue my part of the story.
Well at least my group that is, as we were almost halfway through our day with each other. And now ladies and gentleman… I present your intermission.
Now may I ask all ladies and gentleman to now be seated for we shall continue our tale of regret. Everyone good… got their bathroom break? Went to the lobby and got their selves some snacks. Killed a guy while waiting? Good. Please enjoy the second half of the day. And if you want to go home… well fuck you. You can't. You're here with me... forever and ever and ever. There is no escape from this rabbit hole. You're int now you fuckos... Enjoy…
Group 1: Afternoon:
Well… here we are again… me and my group again or me and my gang again I should say. Anyone got the reference to that? No… I don’t blame you. Honestly the only time you hear country music is if you’re a desperate chick or something very tragic or depressing happens in your life… or you’re a redneck… either way it works.
Well, as I said we left off with our group entering to Stalia. Twilight, Fluttershy and Applejack were interested in seeing the town, as they never really been to it and explored it. Sure Twilight visited once that one time when Dr. Hooves came for a visit, but she was raped by Spike and knocked out by Derpy… who apparently has no singing talking muffins up her asshole.
Isn’t that just magical and whimsical and… wonderful for kids to hear late at night before they go to bed. Well… it’s Narnia… and that’s where all the magic happens where signing talking muffins climb in your ass while you’re sleeping and give you cancer because they were made in a Starbucks.
That and I’m willing to bet that Applejack at least once visited Stalia because of Mac sometimes in the past… but I’m not so entirely sure about that as she never said anything about that at all.
Well, soon we were in the middle of Stalia and Twilight said, “This is going to be exciting. I never really explored this town. In fact, I never really knew this town existed and was near this place until Knight came here.”
I then said to her, “Really? I mean I know the Everfree Forest is kind of big… but I would have expected for you to know Twilight.”
Then Twilight said, “Well it just slipped passed me. Mistakes happen sometimes Knight. Nothing to complain about at all.”
Fluttershy then said, “Well I can’t wait to go to Arrell’s home. I can’t wait to see all the animals he might have there.”
Then Arrell said to Fluttershy with a slight smirk on his face, “Oh Fluttershy… you’re going to be in for a treat.”
Then Fluttershy had an even bigger smile on her face.
Applejack then said, “Well, I’m interested in seeing what this town here has to offer, as long as we stay away from Mac’s farm, this should be an exciting place to visit.”
I then said to her, “Are you and Mac ever going to resolve your problem?”
Applejack then said while stomping her left hoof, “I will never forgive that darn Mac in a hundred years. I can forgive him if he apologizes to me and the rest of the apple family for what he did. But with him, that’ll never happen. He’s just too stubborn as always.”
Then Twilight’s stomach started to rumble, as it was around lunch time. Twilight then put her right hoof on her stomach and looked at it. She then looked at everyone else and everyone seemed to have the same idea as well… they were hungry.
But hey… it’s not like they were Americans or anything… because apparently every American eats more than thirty-two Kenyans a day. Yay for hungry skinny black people… that can run fast and rap and play good in basketball… yay… Well, I wasn’t really hungry… but then again with what I’ve been through in the past… it was no surprise at the time that I wouldn’t be hungry for lunch.
Twilight then looked at me and asked with a slight smile that looked like she was embarrassed of something, “So… do you know a place where we can stop for lunch?”
I then thought about it and then said, “Yeah… there’s a place where me and the guys hang out all the time. It’s not anything great but it’ll do for now.”
Then Twilight said with a smile, “Great! Lead the way Knight.”
I then took the lead and started to lead them… to the bar… because dead cockroaches and peanuts were good to eat… well isn’t that what a bar is anyways? No?
Well… maybe we need another good horse bar joke… he blew up the bar, no questions asked. Not good enough for you? Well how about this then? The Wheels on the bus goes rape rape rape. Rape rape rape. Rape rape rape. The Wheels on the bus goes rape rape rape, all through the town. The Humanoid Frog goes Rapity rapity rapity. Rapity rapity rapity. Rapity rapity rapity. The Humanoid Frog on the bus goes Rapity rapity rapity, all through the town.
And that’s it. It’s just the Humanoid Frog on the bus that he is driving by himself on the road that may or may not say anything about society. No one else is on the bus. Just the humanoid Frog. Conspiracy theories anyone? No? Grammar Nazis?
No… too busy with the Jews? Ok then… just checking. Well, I didn’t tell them where we were going, so the girls were a bit curious where I was taking them to eat at for lunch.
Twilight asked as we walking towards the bar, “So… can I ask where are you taking us?”
I then said to her, “You’ll see when we get there.”
She then asked me, “Are you taking us to a café?”
I then told her, “I said this is a place where me and the guys hang out at.”
Twilight then thought for a second and then asked me, “Is it a fast food place?”
I then said to her, “I’m not going to tell you anything. All I’m going to say is Applejack might be the only one who likes it because she’s a female that’s a farmer. Right applejack?”
Applejack just looked weird at what I said, but yet ignored my question.
However, Twilight asked me, “And what is that supposed to mean? Are you saying just because I’m a girl, that I can’t handle whatever you do.”
I then said, “No… I’m saying you’re smarter than me and the other guys.”
Then Twilight said, “I’m not sure what that has to do with anything, but thank you for the compliment though. But I’m sure we can handle wherever you’re taking us.”
I then told her, “I know you can. I’m just saying you’re a lot smarter than to go inside this place. Why you may ask? Because you just are because let’s face it. We’re part of two different worlds.”
We then made it to the bar and we looked at the outside.
I then said when we got near it, “We’re here.”
We all looked at the bar with the bar sign that said ‘The Bar.’
Twilight then said with a confused tone, “A bar?”
I then said back to her, “Yup. I did say me and the guys hang out here. I know it’s not much, and while there is a café in town…I rather not deal with the café because of the weird ass soup it has.”
I then opened the door to the bar and signaled Twilight and the others to go in on first.
I then said to her while I held the door opened, “Ladies first.”
Twilight looked weird at me as she entered in, while Fluttershy looked a bit nervous while the other three looked fine. See, I told you Applejack would be fine. She’s made for that kind of stuff… with the bars and what not and having… beer and getting drunk and what not. Then again I don’t think they ever got drunk. Oh well… does it really matter? Oh right… feminazis. (Fem-in-Nazis)
I mean... I’m already dealing with the grammar ones…why not add the extreme female ones. Well… if they must… but I must make this aware… I don’t have enough Jews to go around. So listen up, pair up and each pair will share a Jew. Got it?
There isn’t enough Jews to go around now. Anyways, after the group went in, I went in as well and followed them in. We all went ahead and sat at the counter. We were basically the only group in the bar alongside two very tough looking stallions playing pool. The bartender was there, just reading a book and waiting for customers to come in. It seemed to be a slow day for the bar, but it was always slow. I could always imagine seeing the place have old country music that is sad and depressing playing lightly and gentle in the background.
Twilight looked a bit nervous as well alongside Fluttershy, as they weren’t used to the idea of having lunch at a bar. I went up and took a seat next to Twilight, while Fluttershy sat next to her and then Applejack, Jack, and Arrell… in that order. Twilight was looking around for something that it seemed, but she wasn’t quite sure.
She then looked at the bartender and asked, “Excuse me sir, but… what do you have to eat if I may ask?”
Bar Hope slowly put his book down and stared at Twilight.
She noticed that she was a Princess of Equestria, but then he looked at me and he said to the both of us… or to me… either way he was hitting one of us, “Well hello Knight. Didn’t expect to see you here today? Got a date or something?”
Twilight blushed a little, but she tried to hide it though.
I said to Bar Hope, “Nope… just hanging out like good friends. We just stopped by for lunch is all.”
Bar then said, “Well we don’t got much around here to eat. But I reckon I can fix you all something special.”
Then Applejack asked, “What do you have for us then partner?”
The bar tender put a hoof on his chin and thought.
He then said, “Well… I’ve got a salad somewhere. I’m sure one of you ladies would want that. I’ve also got a few dandelion sandwiches lying around that I have in my fridge in the office. We have plenty of peanuts you can munch on and I’ve got some fries I can deep fry in a few minutes. Nothing much really.”
Fluttershy then kind of slowly put her head down and quietly said, “I’ll just have the peanuts… if that’s ok with you that is… ”
Twilight then looked at me and asked while being a bit ticked off, “Isn’t there a better place to go?”
I then said, “Look… Twilight…I really don’t care right now. I just want to get through this day alright? Besides… you told me you can handle this stuff.”
She then looked persuaded to prove herself that she could, so she said to Bar Hope Bar then said, “Ahhh… figured you would ask for that. You are a Princess after all. Always got to keep up your appearance I guess.”
She then said while slightly looking at me, “Yeah… appearances… ”
Bar then looked at the others and asked, “Anypony else?”
Applejack said, “I’ll just take the fries, thank you.”
Jack then said, “I’ll just have a beer and a dandelion sandwich. Clearly I really don’t give a fuck to care what I eat.”
Bar then looked at Arrell and Arrell then said, “I’ll have nothing. I mean I’m hungry for sure…but I had bar food last night. Not sure if I would want to do that again.”
Bar nodded his head once and then looked at me. He then said, “I’m guessing you’ll just have the tequila Knight?”
I then said to him, “Yup. But just one… I don’t want to have a lot where I’m sort of drunk. I’ve got to show these girls around town if you know what I’m saying.”
Bar then had a little smirk on his face and said, “Oh yes I do good sir. I remember when I was your age… I did twenty-one mares in one night… and half of them were still in school.”
He then winked at me with his left eye and I responded with, “You’re a sick old fuck aren’t you?”
He then said with a smile while walking away, “I sure am… I’ll go get your things now.”
Bar walked away and we were left to do whatever we wanted to do.
Twilight then looked at me and asked, “So you and your friends come here all the time?”
I then told her, “Yeah. So what?”
Twilight then said, “Nothing… it’s just… why a bar? Why not go somewhere else that’s better than this place. No offense Knight, but… this place is a dump.”
I then said to her, “Yeah… what do you think a bar is supposed to be like?”
Then she said back to me, “Nothing like this. I mean the place is filthy. The food will most likely not even be good. I’m not sure, but I thought I saw a rat when I came in here.”
I then said to her while staring into space, “Yeah. Don’t worry about that. It’s just a family of rats that lives within the walls.”
Then a rat came out of nowhere and scurried along the counter top towards me. The rat was white and had a little Mexican Sombrero on its head and it was decently clean… but a bit rough on his fur though.
The rat looked at me and said in a Illegal Mexican style voice, “Senior knight… can you spare me and my family a few bits. We’re cold and hungry and all we do is drink tequila all day. Please have pity on us Senior Knight?”
I then said to the rat, “Get out of here rat… can’t you see I’m talking to someone here. Go on… get out of here before I deport you back to your country.”
Then the rat said, “Oh please no Senior Knight… don’t do that. I can’t go back to my old country. Or else they will kill me and slit my family’s throats.”
I then looked at him and said, “Don’t you have work to do for a quarter of a bit?”
Then the rat said to me before it took off, “Yes Senior. I’ve got to clean inside a dog’s asshole for a family.”
The rat went off to go ahead and clean inside a dog’s asshole. Feels about right for an illegal Mexican.
I then looked back to Twilight and she had her mouth opened and I told her, “Come on Twilight. Have a little fun. I know it might be a bit disgusting… but it beats going to a strip club… because those will give you AIDS if you screw up. And not the good kind of AIDS… the bad kind of AIDS. The one that makes you look like… a very pale and starving Zebra. Yeah… that’s the kind of AIDS… but at least you were able to go to Zebra heaven with that kind of AIDS.”
I’m not sure what was going on with the AIDS in this universe… but hey… it’s from the 80’s that most know about, so that means it’s funny or cool because anything from the 80’s is either funny or cool… because Nostalgia. Well at least that’s my guess… but to people… AIDS is funny… and Ebola is not. In fact it just makes people scared and go berserk by raping and killing their family because they’re afraid of Ebola…because that’s what fear does to people.
Anyways, the food finally came and after bar gave us our food, he said, “Enjoy guys. Like I said, it’s nothing special… but it’ll do for now. Enjoy.”
Then he walked away to read more of his book.
We then ate our stuff. Arrell had nothing of course while I only had a bottle of tequila. The others ate their food and they didn’t look like they enjoyed it as much since it possibly had insect feces on it, but it seemed that it wasn’t the worse thing ever that they tried.
We all soon finished our stuff within thirty minutes or so and I then said after Applejack finished her stuff, “Alright then. Where to next guys?”
Then Twilight said, “Perhaps we should go to your place Knight.”
I then said to her, “No way… we’re not going to my home.”
She then said to me with a stern look, “You kind of owe us Knight for choosing this place.”
I then said, “Fine then Twilight. We’ll go to my place… but not for too long though. We’ll only stay there a few minutes.”
She then said as we were all getting up from our seats since were at the bar counter after all, “Fine with me.”
Before we could go towards the exit, Applejack then said, “Hold on just a minute fellas. I want to do something first.”
Applejack then went up to the two guys that were at the pool table… playing pool. One of the guys who was standing there and watching the other one place wore a bandana and some sun glasses while smoking something it looked like. I’m not sure what it was… but he was smoking something… and if you’re smoking something… then that’s cooooool. Because… it makes you look like a badass… even if you’re smoking your unborn fetus’s cock. The second one who was playing the game had the same looking bandana on, which was red, while wearing a black leather jacket… because that also makes you look cool.
It shows you that you’re a biker that will bite off your baby’s head off and start fingering the hole. Then laughing at the figuring because it looks like a dick going into a hole. Applejack went up to the pony in the black leather jacket and tapped him on the back.
She then got their attention and she asked, “I see you two fellas are playing pool over here and I was wondering, do you mind if I join. We can play one against two.”
The pony with the sunglasses on said to her, “Sorry miss… but this game ain’t for no girls like yourself.”
The pony in the jacket then said, “Yeah… and besides, we only play two against two.”
Applejack then said, “You wanna beat on that?”
Then the guy with the sunglasses looked at the one with the jacket and the guy who was smoking then said, “How much?”
Applejack then said, “I’ll bet you fifty bits if you go against me and Jack over there.”
Jack looked a bit confused, but he then decided to go with it and just went near Applejack and stood beside her.
The two ponies looked at each other and the one in the leather jacket said, “You have a deal.”
They then played a match of pool and… well I can’t go into detail because I don’t get pool. I mean when I was on Earth… I never understood it. So really all I can say they hit balls around just like any other sport… because hitting balls is good if you have the balls for it. And apparently Applejack at the balls to do it because she had a good big pair of balls… her ovaries. They were big… and stuff. Don’t ask me how I know how big they were… just don’t… you don’t want to know…
Well eventually they got finished with the match and Applejack and Jack won.
The two ponies were furious and the one with the sun glasses yelled, “You fucking bitch! You cheated!”
Applejack then said to the two ponies, “I didn’t cheat. You two just lost fair and square.”
Then the one with the jacket on said, “Oh I’ll show you fair and square. I ain’t afraid of hitting a girl.”
Then Applejack went up to the pony and then said while getting close to his face, “Then hit me then… if you got the guts.”
Then Applejack turned around and bucked him into a wall with pictures frames all over it before the pony could hit her. Then… out of nowhere… a whole bunch of random ponies came out of nowhere into the bar and started a big bar fight, like the fighting scene from A Million Ways to Die in the West.
Then Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight were all confused as to what was going on.
We got into a group again and Applejack asked, “Uhhh… what just happened?”
I then said while looking a bit worried and jumpy. “Oh no… uhhh... this always happens. You just started a bar fight Applejack.”
Twilight then asked me, “What do you mean?”
I then said to her, “This always happens when someone punches someone. Apparently that means a bar fight must be happening and everyone fights then… even if no one is in here. And some of us has to be punched so it looks like we were fighting so no other pony bothers us. So Twilight, punch me in the face.”
She hesitated at first, but she did what she was told and punched me in the face. It was only a slight bruise on my face, but nothing serious.
I then said, “Jack, punch Applejack.”
So Jack punched Applejack on her right forearm. Again, only a slight bruise, but nothing serious.
I then said, “Arrell, punch yourself in the gut.”
Arrell did so, and which case I then looked at Fluttershy and said to her, “And Fluttershy… go fuck yourself.”
Fluttershy didn’t hear what I said apparently, but after I said that, I then said to everyone, “Alright then… let’s get out of here before it gets worse.”
Then we all headed outside of the bar as quickly as we could. We eventually got outside and everyone looked fine.
I then said to everyone, “Alright then… onwards to my house then.”
Then I led the way and we started to head towards my home. My home is that I really don’t care if it burns… but then again no one cares. But in the end… I actually care.
Anyways, we headed towards my home and it wasn’t far. We eventually got to it, I unlocked the door by using… magic… and entered through the door and everyone else followed through. The place was fairly clean, but Wolf was still sleeping on the couch.
I then said as I we were walking in, “Get up you lazy bastard. We have guests.”
Wolf then slightly got up to look from behind the couch to see me. He looked a little messed up, but overall decent enough to be seen in public. He looked at us as Jack closed the door behind him, since he was the last one to come through the door.
Everyone stood in the living room while I headed towards the kitchen to get another beer because… logic… Fluttershy looked at Wolf and was happy to see him again and said, “Hello Wolf. It’s nice to see you again.”
Wolf then said to her, “We saw each other yesterday… why do you look like you haven’t seen me in ages?”
Wolf then got off the couch and was then on all fours. Fluttershy responded with, “Well it isn’t like I get to see a talking Timber Wolf everyday… especially a Timber Wolf that doesn’t try to attack me or harm me.”
Wolf then said, “Yeah yeah yeah… whatever you say you yellow bitch. Hey Knight… I don’t think they should be here right now.”
I then said to him while drinking my beer that I had just opened up that I had gotten from my fridge, “And why is that?”
Wolf then said, “Well… it’s because… ”
Then TK came walking down the stairs and he was halfway down, to where anyone in the room could see him.
TK then said to him, “Hello Knight.”
I then said to him back, “Hey TK. Didn’t know you were here.”
TK then said, “I have to talk to you in private.”
Everyone in the room was either mad, or moderately ok. Twilight was the only one that was mad of course since what happened before… like last month or so.
Applejack then asked me, “I’m sorry to interrupt here… but who is this?”
I then told her, “It’s one of my other friends… it’s a bit complicated.”
Applejack then said to TK, “Well then… a friend of Knight is a friend of mine. Nice to meet you partner.”
TK just stared at her in silence. He didn’t speak a single word.
He then turned his head back towards me and then said, “I need to talk to you in private for a minute Knight.”
I then said to him while Applejack looked a bit offended by TK’s rudeness to her, “Can’t it wait? We’re kind of in the middle of something here at the moment.”
TK then said to me, “It will only take a minute. I have to tell you something.”
I then said to him, “Fine… let’s go to my room and…”
Twilight then cuts me off from my sentence and she said, “Hold on there a minute Knight.”
She then looked at TK after telling me to hold my horses and stuff and said to TK, “Listen. I do know we got off on the wrong foot last time… especially what Celestia told me what you did in Cantorlot. And I know we did say we would start over… but I’m a bit suspicious of you TK. I don’t mean to offend… but I just don’t think you’re a good friend as Knight says you are. So whatever you have to tell Knight, you can tell us.”
TK then said to her in a neutral tone, “It must be addressed to Knight alone.”
Twilight then said, “We can keep it a secret, right guys?”
She looked at everyone in the group and they all shook their heads.
She then looked back at TK and asked again, “So… what do you have to tell Knight?”
TK then came fully down the steps and went up to her and close to her face and said in a specific tone, “The last time before I rip off your wings, break all the bones in your body, and leave you for dead in the Everfree Forest to be eaten by the wolves while slowly watching you die in pain and agony… it is only for Knight alone you sad sack of shit.”
I then got in between them and said, “Whoa… let’s just take it easy now.”
I then looked at Twilight and said, “Just back off Twilight… what he has to say to me is important… that and you don’t want to get into a fight with him.”
I then looked towards TK and said, “TK… let’s go down to the basement and you can quickly say to me whatever you have to say.”
TK then turned his head towards Twilight, but did it without saying a single word. TK then said, “Fine… ”
I then went and entered the secret code to the basement over on the secret wall and shit like that and went down… and the other guys didn’t see it oddly enough. But then again Applejack and Fluttershy was new to the place and Wolf was possibly doing something to amaze Jack and Arrell while Twilight was a bit pissed off.
Well, we went down into the basement. When we went down the steps, the door closed behind us since it was controlled by a sensor and was kind of automatic. We went down into the slightly dark, but lit up by cool technology and slightly dark blue lights. I had tables still filled with guns and tests and such. But in the far back, near the back wall, I had a portal opened up to the outside of the universe as always… just in case those Grammar Nazis forgot is all.
Anyways, we went near the portal… for whatever reason, and I then said to TK as he was near me, “So what is it that’s so important?”
TK then said to me, “You may not know it… but I believe something is watching you Knight. I’m not sure if it is friendly or is a foe… but either away… you must watch your back wherever you go. I’m not sure what is out there, especially since the universe is unknown to me. To me, this universe holds many secrets, but none that I am interested in finding out. But I am interested what or whom is watching you. Whatever it is… or who… I do hope it is friendly.”
I then told TK, “Is that all? Really TK? I mean I’ve always been watching my back… especially here. I mean with TF on the loose, fucking robots that are kind of out to kill me that was built by a pony that mistook me for Twilight oddly enough, and Neon… well Neon is Neon… I’ve always been watching my back. So don’t worry about that. But uhh… two quick things though TK. How are you coming along with the finding about the TF thing going?”
TK then looked at me and said, “Still no lead other than those satellites. Second thing?”
I then said to him, “Why doesn’t Factory dash like me?”
TK then was silence for a few seconds, but then spoke up and said, “I don’t know…and I don’t care. As long as she doesn’t try and betray us like in memories past… I don’t care what she does. But… she does say quite the insults about you. And every time she says it… I want to rip out her throat for speaking that way towards my master… you that is Knight.”
I then said to TK, “Well that’s possibly why Factory Dash hasn’t killed me yet and why she is your apprentice. I mean you two are made for each other. No wonder why she likes you more than me. But hey… I’m not complaining about competition… I’m just complaining why we can’t just get along other than on missions or something like that.”
TK then said to me, “Well… whatever it is… as long as she doesn’t step beyond her boundaries… I don’t care. I’ll see you another time Knight.”
Then TK headed towards the portal and before he stepped through it to go outside the universe once more, I said to him, “Yeah… see you too you emotionless prick.”
I then headed back upstairs and let everything in the basement be like it was in the basement as always. The secret door was fully closed when I got back up and no one else saw it, so all was good.
I then said to in the group that was still waiting for me in the living room, “Alright then. So this is my home that Princess Celestia put me in. It’s supposed to be a library, which it is, but it’s only in one room… the room in the west towards the stairs. So uhhh… yeah… go ahead and explore and let me know when you’re done exploring and shit like that. I’ll be up in my room possibly trying to figure things out why I am even caring about you all of you right now.”
Twilight then said before I went up to my room and asked me, “Can I come and see your room too Knight?”
I then asked her, “That’s a weird question to ask me Twilight?”
Twilight then said, “Well you did kind of see my room, and I never seen your room.”
I then rolled my eyes and gave a small sigh and said to her, “Fine… but no funny business while you’re up there though.”
I then headed towards my room up the stairs, while she followed me as well while the others went ahead and started to look around the place while Wolf was just continuing to lay down on the couch… possibly wasted from the liquor or weed… either way he should be dead by now for all the things he has consumed in the past. We got to my room and Twilight went in first, as always… purple bitches first and blue douche bags seconds.
I closed the door behind us. Twilight looked around the room. The room didn’t change other than my bathroom earlier this morning with the singing muffins coming out of Derpy’s asshole… but as the Doctor said… it’ll be explained in a few months time. The room was the same as always with the bed in the middle, the hat rack near the door. The dressers and bookshelves for personal stuff as always to the left.
And more drawers to the right with the door that leads to my bathroom. Actually it’s a bit hard to describe my room… but that’s how my room was, hard to imagine, but yet so comfortable and familiar to have and live in at the same time with its own charm that doesn’t makes you feel that you never want to leave it for another room that’s considered to be art.
Well, Twilight looked around and then looked at me and said, “So… this is your room?”
I then said, “Yeah… nothing special about it.”
Then we stayed silent… and here’s what Twilight had going through her thoughts: ‘This feels a bit awkward. Then again this is my first time ever seeing his room. I do know that couples usually visit each other’s places from time to time. He has always seen my room in my home… but I never really get to see his though. I wonder if we started to get serious with our relationship, would we move in to one of our places? He could always move into my place… but I’m not sure if he would like it though. I could always move into his, I could always clean up the place. But then again I’m not sure he would like it either, along with me not seeing my friends very often. Then again we can discuss it when the time comes. Anything is possible.’
I then said in my thoughts, ‘Oh no… I hope she isn’t thinking about me dating her or kissing her again. I mean what’s wrong with her and that? Then again… people or in this case ponies, seem to fall in love and expect it to be love in first sight. I don’t believe that, before I would love someone, I would want to get to know them first. Then again I'm not really good at this whole love, let along sex thing. The more that I think of it I'd probably nut in her in like a few seconds. I don't even jack off like I should. Screw it… we’ve been here too long and I believe by looking at that clock on my wall over there in my room that I never seem to notice… like my magical trunk that I don’t recall getting at all and stuff… that we will have to pick up the pace. It is getting close to Luna’s moon to rise. I’ll just give her another kiss on the cheek. That’ll get her to stop thinking those thoughts that I’m guessing that she is thinking. And if slaps me…t hen I know that she’s on her period or something. Do mares here have periods? Maybe… each universe is different after all… but not so sure here though. Well fuck it, as long as I don't get peroid blood in my mouth, it won't hurt to give it a shot.’
I then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and of course she blushed.
She then said to me with a smile of hers, “Knight… my face is turning red.”
I then said to her, “I know that. I just wanted to let you know.”
She then asked, “Let me know what?”
I then said to her next with a smirk on my face, “I’ll leave that up to you to figure out.”
Twilight then smiled even more, but I then said, “So… shall we go back down and continue onward towards Arrell’s animal before we end the day with whatever you say you’re going to do?”
She then said while I held the door open for her, “I’ll be delighted to do that Knight.”
She then headed down stairs with the others, with happiness in her heart while I said in my head, ‘Good… now she doesn’t suspect a thing that I really don’t care if she died in a ditch somewhere while being burned alive. Well... I kind of do care… but not enough to love her that much though.’
I then headed downstairs and the others seemed ready to move on. I opened the door to go outside and Celestia’s sun seemed to be already setting.
I then asked the group, “So… how did you find my house?”
Applejack said, “It was a pretty nice place.”
Applejack then went through the door. Then Fluttershy passed me and said, “It was nice... ”
She then headed out the door, and the others followed through. I then went behind them and closed the door while Wolf couldn’t give two fucks what just happened.
But then that’s what I liked about him oddly enough. He’s that addict that’s an idiot that may or may not kill you… what’s to be liked or loved about that? I’m not sure… but I believe that’s why we were friends… because we were different.
Screw it, I’m sure that’s why Twilight and her friends are friends, because they are different. And I’m guessing the same can be said for me and my friends… but not really since I don’t see us hanging out like Twilight’s friends do. But then again… that’s what I had always thought.
Arrell’s home was like Mac’s farm, near outside of town. But it was near the Everfree forest like Fluttershy’s place. It just wasn’t near the church of the Pancake Monster God Religion is all. So of course, it took a while to get there, the same thing like the other group did earlier.
However, we just didn’t see the cult or anything like that. But I’m sure Arrell already had a cult of his own with the animals, as the very few things that you have heard or what I have said that he does with his animals. It took us a while and we finally got to Arrell’s home.
It was near the border line of the Everfree Forest. Arrell’s home looked simple. Both on the left and right sides of his home was were smaller homes, which were homes to the animals that he kept. He even had the two homes fenced in and connected to his home as well. He even had a small pond nearby along with a well for whatever reason.
However, that wasn’t it. Arrell also had a fourth building, but it wasn’t fenced in like the others were. It was like a shed of some sort… like a shed where he did his experiments I suppose. I’m not sure because no one really saw what took place in there. At least at the time.
It’s like if Arrell would say, “Stay out of my shed.’ Then again… maybe he wouldn’t want to eat your brain. Maybe he would have his animals rape it instead.
Fluttershy was happy to see the animals and rushed ahead of us to look at the animals and pet them in such. Even the animals seemed to be happy to see her too... but she was good with animals, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise though.
We then went ahead and caught up with her and when we did, she said to all of us, “Aren’t these animals adorable?”
She said that while holding a black bunny in her hooves and petting it. Of course there was other animals outside to see, but Fluttershy was currently concentrating on the black bunny.
I wonder if Arrell could modify that bunny to also hold a gun in its paws so if it’s offended, it could shoot the gun while holding it sideways. And maybe have him set up a system, like a cop system. Where the white bunnies are the cops and the black bunnies are treated poorly and they go ahead and break into places and start riots.
And then, one of the white bunnies puts a gun to the black bunny’s face while the black bunny put its paws up in the air. And then the white bunny will shoot the black bunny and the ghost of Michael Jackson comes out of nowhere and sings ‘Black or white.’ Or whatever that song was called.
I mean it really doesn’t matter if you’re black or white. What matters is if you’re yellow or red. If you’re yellow, you’re good with math but horrible driving cars. If you’re red… you’re terrible at protecting your land.
Anyways, Arrell then said, “Well, how about you put the bunny down and you can come in with the rest of us.”
Fluttershy then asked him politely and kind, “Awwee… but can I please stay out with the animals? I don’t mean to be rude or anything like that, but I want to see the animals that you have.”
Arrell then said to her, “Alright then, just be careful out here. Sometimes the animals can get a little cranky at times.”
Then Fluttershy said, “Oh don’t worry about that. I’m good with animals and I’m sure I can take care of them.”
Then a big black polar bear… and yes… Arrell did that. Don’t even ask how it even looked… just use your imagination. Trust me, it’s better that way. Besides, at least that way… you can imagine a world where you don’t give any flying fucks what you do whatsoever in life. Wouldn’t that be great? Well... too bad it doesn’t exist.
So just blame the president of the United States. It always works that way. Anyways, a big black polar bear came up to Fluttershy and roared in her face and growled at her. The drool started to drip off its mouth and such.
Fluttershy looked at it and said very calmly, “Nice to meet you Mr. Bear. You know… that wasn’t very nice.”
Then the bear roared at her again. Fluttershy said once more in a nice tone as she looked like she was about to give The Stare, “Now, that is not a way to treat someone that you meet for the first time.”
Then the bear roared once again, but the roar was cut off with Fluttershy giving the bear the stare. It looked dumbfounded and felt scared from within. The bear’s heart started to beat against its chest, when it cowardly went back into a corner, whimpering in fear. It seemed that Fluttershy could take care of herself and Arrell noticed and went ahead towards his door to his nice home to let us in.
He opened the door and we all went in and closed the door behind… but gave a quick last stare at Fluttershy though before he did so.
We were greeted with his nice living room and as Arrell was coming in to sit down on his couch, Twilight asked him, “So this is a nice place you’ve got here Arrell. Can I ask what do you do for a living?”
Arrell then said, “I really don’t know honestly. I just do whatever I can to get by. That and for whatever reason, the town of Stalia sends me money for being the animal guy of Stalia. Not sure why though, but honestly it’s money, so who cares why I get it.”
Arrell sat on the couch, and his pet bunny, Asshat came up to him and sat next to him. Arrell noticed it and had a small smile on his face and petted him a little bit.
He then said to his pet, “Oh, hey there Asshat. How’s it going there little buddy?”
Twilight was a bit shocked and said, “You named your bunny that name?”
Arrell then said, “Yeah… so what if that’s his name. He’s my best friend and stuff.”
Twilight then said, “Yeah… but it seems to be an inappropriate name for him, is it not?”
Arrell then said, “Well I did give him the name after one of the heists we pulled off together many years ago.”
Twilight then said, “Yes, but… wait… what do you mean heists?”
Arrell then said, “Well, me and my pet bunny here, Asshat, used to break into places. Weather it was robbing a bank or breaking into somepony’s home, we pulled heists all the time. That’s how I was able to invest into this place after I retired and one of the guards from Cantorlot helped me out after I helped him out with a problem. Sort of a ‘I scratch your back and you scratch mine.’ I helped him get to be promoted while he cleared my name and everything that I have ever done in my criminal history. But that’s just a small part of it all. Now, I’m just retired, lonely, and confused as to why I am even doing here in this place. But at least I found a hobby, animals and the specifics of it. All along with a sort of a second job you could say.”
Applejack then asked, “What’s the second job ?”
Arrell then said, “Well… it’s sort of personal, let’s just keep it like that.”
Meanwhile, with Fluttershy outside, she was enjoying herself. See was seeing all the creatures that she was interested in and such, but she then saw a particular shed out of place. It was near the back of Arrell’s home and such. It looked out of place and was a bit rusty. So she went ahead and made her way towards it to see what was inside of it out of curiosity. She went towards it and it felt kind of far, but yet so close.
She went up to the door and it was unlocked. She went ahead and slowly opened the door. She fully opened the door, but it was all dark. However, she found the light switch nearby and turned the lights on…but then what she saw next horrified her. It was so disgusting and revolting, that she wanted to vomit where she stood the first second she saw what she saw.
Meanwhile back inside, Arrell felt a disturbance in the air.
Arrell then said while getting off the couch, “Excuse me… I have to go and do something.”
I then asked him, “Where are you going?”
Arrell then said to me, “I feel a disturbance in the force.”
Arrell then went outside, while I stood there and said, “What force? I mean there’s magic, but that isn’t the force… what is he even talking about?”
I looked at Jack and he just shrugged at me while the girls looked confused. Arrell made his way towards his shed and found Fluttershy looking through the shed’s contents. She wanted to burn the shed for what it contained was so foul and sinful, that she wanted to kill herself just from seeing the contents of the shed that Arrell kept.
Fluttershy wasn’t looking, and then Arrell went up behind her and made Fluttershy jumped when Arrell asked her with a series face with a metaphorical shadow covering it, “What are you doing here Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy jumped and turned standing behind her, as Arrell was holding something behind his back with one hoof. Fluttershy looked sacared and was quivering in fear. She looked terrified and wasn't sure what she had exactly stumbled upon other than it being not good. Her eyes were wide and filled with fear and she was sarrtled to the core.
Fluttershy asked him in a very scared voice as she tried to keep herself together, “Why… why did you do all of this? How could you even do such a thing?”
Then Arrell said to her back with a look of despair on his face, “Sometimes… certain things are better to be unknown than to be known.”
Fluttershy said then to Arrell as she heled her left hoof up to her face, “Are you going to kill me now for knowing your secret?”
Arrell then said with a sign of releif on his face and a little smile, destroying the tension in the air that used to be there, “Oh god no. That would be stupid and nothing like me. Why would I even do that to a pony Fluttershy? Come on… I know you’re better than that. Just come here.”
So Fluttershy went up towards, but she was scared with every step she took towards him. When she got near him, Arrell pulled out a syringe and injected into her neck.
He then said to her while Fluttershy was starting to feel a bit dizzy, “Shhhhh… you’re not going to tell any pony about what you just saw in there. And you will also forget all about this. Just take it easy… take it easy. Don’t fight it Fluttershy… embrace it. Embrace the everlasting darkness and fear… just let everything go and everything will be ok.”
Fluttershy then let everything go, but was still alive and stuff. She was even half awake, but felt weak. Arrell slowly, gently put her down, looked to see if any other pony saw what he did, but thankfully for him, no one did. He raised an eye brow to while looking with shifty eyes to make sure all was clear. Then he looked deeper into the shed and opened the door a little more to let the light in so he could see better.
From there, Arrell could see the insides of the shed. In it, it looked like an ordinary shed with some esoertric and blood sacerfices of animals hanged on the walls. And deeper into what would be the end of the shed, lied stone stairs to a basement. So Arrell, without closing the door behind him, kind of stupid but whatever, he walked down the stone steps that looked ancient and that almost looked like it led to a hiiden nuclear bunker.
As Arrell descented the staiurs, he game into one of many rooms in the place, and it was the living room you call it. There was a weird TV looking device thing, a mini fridge, and round wooden table that seated about eleven ponies. And surrounding the ponies was a bunch of old stallions that looks like they have been old for the past hundreds of years or so. And they were all wearing dark, velvet robes with some esorteric symbols covering their clothing of choice. And on the table itself held some candles, placed evenly to form a pentagram.
Arrell saw this, didn't have much of a look to it. Then one of the ponies looked up as they were all sitting there in silent. The old grey looking pony looked up, all with the wrinkles and crows feet, and said to Arrell in an old pony type of voice while looking a little annoyed at Arrell, "Will you close the damn door!? You're letting a draft in here."
Arrell then pointed at the old point with his right hoof with a pissed off look and yelled at him, "Shut it Doble! You're lucky I still let you live here after the mess you left last month."
Doble then said to Arrell, "We were having an Orgy. You know we have it, it was in our tenet agreement!"
Arrell then said back to him with a slightly annoyed look on his face, "No it wasn't. You're supposed to give me a heads up first. And you're not allowed to invite more than seven gusets over."
Doble then looked at him as e hanged his low like a child with a tamper, "Ohhhh... but you can't have an orgy with just seven ponies! Then it's just a cheap brothel by that point. We need specially twenty one in order to complete cereamony!"
Arrell then said while he moved his right hoof at them up and down while rolling his eyes, "All I hear are nothing but excuses. I'm giving you all a warning. I don't care if you're a bunch of "Old Satanists that used to rule the world and all fo Pony Society." You came here, begging me a place to live at. So you either stick to our agreements or you can leave find another place to live at..."
arrell then stared at the Satainists in silence and had a confused look form on his face. He then said to them while pointing with his left hoof, "What are you all doing here anyways?"
The old Pony then said while looking quite annoyed by this point and rolling his eyes at Arrell, "Well we were trying to all do a little ritual that requires for all of us to be silent so we can pray to Satan! But you just HAD to waltz down here and ruin it for the rest of us. Now we have to start from the beginning and that takes three hours to start the ritual!"
Arrell then just looked annoyed once more and said to them, "Look I don't have time with your little Satanists nonesense. That's all filly and colt stuff. I mean you all do realize there is no such thing as Satan right? that shit is all in your head."
Arrell started to point to all the triangle and the all seeing eye and other symbols like it that were hanged up on the walls as he tried to get across his point.
Arrell said to them, "I mean look at all of this garbage. If I were to have known you were all going to put this up here, I would have added to the contract that you need to have a monthy check up to make sure everything is cleaned. IT looks like a pig lives here!"
Double then said back to him angered, "And that's coming from somepony whp lets animals of various kinds run around, even in your own home!?"
Arrell as he put his hoof down and just looked like he didn't give a shit by this point, "That's none of your concern. What I do for my job is none of your business. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get going or else the others are going to become suspicious. Just make sure you keep it down and lock the door. I just caught somepony snooping around here. Got it?"
Doble then said as he rolled his eyes and gave a sligt sigh, "Oh.... alright... "
Doble then quickly pointed his left hoof at Arrell and said to him, "But I wasn't the one who left the door open. It was Reby here that did it again like usual!"
Reby who was sitting right next to Doble said while keeping his head down and also had an old voice of a stallion, "Oh why do you have to signal me out. I forget sometimes... ok?"
Doble looked not too pleased with that, but whatever. However Arrell was not amused by their little antics.
So Arrell said to them all, "Whatever. I should also let you all know that rent is due in like a week. And I don't want any excuses as to why you're late like last time."
Doble then slammed his left hoof on the table and said, "I told you we'll get you the money when we get it.. We just... are running into a little donation trouble is all. Not everypony wants to donate to the Satainists group anymore. Instead they are all about Harmony and friendship. Pffft... kids these days. Back in our days when we..."
Doble was having a look of disgust on his face as he was describing what was griding his gears.
Arrell then cut him off as he said to them while mocking them, "Yeah yeah yeah, you told me the story a thousand times. Back in your old supposed dsays you ruled the world secretly and everyone obeyed you and you started wars and blah blah blah, no pony cares gramps. Just have the five hundred bits ready to go by next week."
Arrell had pointed at them with his right hoof while squinting when he said that.
Doble looked surprised as he then said, "Five hundred!? But we agreed to three hundred!"
Arrell then said to him as he was turning around to go back up the stairs, "Yeah well maybe you shouldn't leave the lights on all night during one fo your so called orgies. I'm the one who has to pay the bills in this place and prices have gone up."
Arrell was then heading back up the stone stairs before he stopped and turned his head around. He looked annoyed and said to the Satainists, "Oh and just for the record. What you do down here is really fucking gay... you Gay Satanists."
And then arrell went back up without a single other word. But Doble didn't look too pleased with arrell's comments.
So as Arrell was heading back up the steps, he yelled out at Arrell while shaking his right hoof towards him, "It's not gay Arrell! It's only anal! I's part of our relgion damn it! And Traps are not gay either! You hear me!? They are not gay!"
As Doble was yelling at the top of his lungs and to the heavens, Reby spoke up while keeping his head down still, "You know he has a point. It's kind of fucking gay."
Doble then calmed down quickly and had a cycnical look in his eyes as he said to Reby, "Shut up Reby. You're still low rank after all of these years... you bastard..."
As for Arrell, he went back up the stairs and went outside. As he did, he made sure no one else was still there and saw what was going on. Once again, he was in the clear.
He then closed and locked the shed door. He then dragged Fluttershy’s half awoken body towards his house and opened the door to tell everypony about Fluttershy.
When he came through holding up the body, he said, “Ok… so apparently I found Fluttershy near one of the animals that I bred, and let’s just say she’s going to be a bit sleepy and stuff for the next few hours or so. However she should be fine, but uhhh... we should start heading out towards wherever you said we were going to go Twilight.”
Twilight then said, “Oh… alright then. I suppose it is time for us to leave.”
Arrell then said, “Great, I’ll carry Fluttershy on my back on the way there. Trust me, I can handle it, I’ve lifted heavy weights in the past and stuff.”
Twilight then said, “Great, follow me then.”
Then we all followed Twilight as we exited Arrell’s house and stuff, but Arrell was behind the group and stuff. You know… hanging back. Celestia’s sun when we got outside was starting to go down and the rise of Luan’s moon. The sky had a beautiful orange tone to it as well.
So, we headed our way towards wherever Twilight wanted to go to. After awhile and a few times where Twilight got a bit lost, we found a hill that kind of went above the Everfree Forest and was near the path that connected Stalia and Ponyville. It was a decently sized big hill and I never noticed it.
Well, we then went atop the hill and Twilight started to set a blanket down for the both groups to sit on and such.
She even seemed to have brought a bit of food along as well… how do you ask… magic… seriously… anything can be explained with magic. It’s that easy. It’s so easy that it’s funny… but at the same time very depressing and makes me want to kill myself.
Anyways, that was the end of our day together… at least for our group that is…
Group 2: Afternoon:
Well, now here is the final group of the final half of the day. Exciting isn’t it? But then again, much more happened even afterwards, but let’s finish what happened with this group.
So, as you all know, they switched sides when noon came around. When we past each other up to switch sides, they were on their way to Ponyville to spend the rest of the day there until they had to come to the little hill area… which in all honestly… I am still surprised that hill was there. I never even noticed it. It’s like my house… I don’t know what it has. Heck… even that trunk I don’t even recall buying is there.
I mean who knows what’s within that trunk. It could possibly hold the secrets of the universe… like… the meaning the life… or…. a better question, what exactly is a dolphin? Is it a mammal… or a Nazi perhaps? The world may never know, because a freaking owl said so.
Well, the second group were walking their way towards Ponyville. They seemed to be alright. It was just silence within the group. Everyone was ok and no one spoke a word. They just walked and kept silent.
However, Rarity finally spoke up and said, “Well… that was interesting. I mean, your town is certainly… neat… but I’m sure you boys will love Ponyville when you see it.”
Then Neon said, “I bet I will! And when I see it… then the town will burn to ashes and everyone will scream in pain and I get to laugh at it because it’s a very funny joke!”
Rarity then looked confused and then said, “What?”
Then Rainbow Dash then said, “Well I liked Stalia. It was cool, but the town isn’t anything like Ponyville. I mean our town can beat your town in a competition in ten seconds flat. It just makes our town twenty percent cooler.”
Mac heard the very words that came out of Rainbow’s mouth and he then yelled while questioning, “Are you saying that Applejack is better than me!?”
Rainbow then looked confused and then asked, “What are you talking about? I didn’t even mention Applejack.”
Mac then got closer to Rainbow and then said, “Yes you did… you said that the town that she lives in and sells her terrible, diseased infested apples is better than my town that sells good apples instead of her… apples of disgrace!”
Forrest then said to Mac, “Actually, I would prefer Applejack’s apples than yours because her apples doesn’t have after birth liquid that came from a pig on it. Oh shit, why did I just say that?”
Mac then slowly, creepily turned his head while giving him the stare of death into his eyes.
He then said very quietly, but yet in a bit of a demonic type voice, “I’m going to rip out your beating heart, force it down your throat, cut off your wings and burn you alive you son of a fucking bitch.”
Then Mac went straight for Forrest’s head. But Neon got to Mac in time and held him down. Then he forced Mac to face him and opened his mouth while Mac was struggling to break free.
Neon then said, “Medicine time!”
Then Neon puked into Mac’s mouth. It was all green and slimy. And it was also a lot too, but after he was finished, Mac slowly got up and was no longer enraged by Forrest’s comment.
He then stood up, a bit dazed, but stable enough to be on his own, and said “What just happened? Oh right… we’re going to Ponyville… right… I’ll burn Applejack’s house down or something.”
Then the girls were shocked at what happened and their mouths were opened and Rainbow then said, “What just happened?”
Neon then said to the girls while jumping up and down, “Come on woo!”
And Neon constantly said that as he was hoping up and down to Ponyville and went ahead of the group.
Rainbow Dash then said, “I’m starting to think that your friend Neon is more crazy than Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie then said, “Hey! I’m not crazy.”
Then Rainbow said back to her, “Riiiight? Like that time when you were talking to inanimate objects and having a party with them.”
Then Pinkie said with a smile, “That wasn’t my fault. I thought you guys were no longer my friends and I had totally forgot it was my birthday that day. But that’s in the past. Now let’s get going to Ponyville!”
Then they were on their way to Ponyville. They eventually made it to the small town and entered through the town. They looked to see if they could find Neon anywhere, as I did say he did get ahead of them. Eventually they looked for five minutes, but nothing turned about Neon’s whereabouts.
So Rainbow Asked Forrest, “Do you have any idea where Neon could be at?”
Then Forrest said, “I’m not sure. He usually would be shoving a monkey up a kitten’s asshole by now if he went ahead of us.”
Then there was a faint voice somewhere within town. As if it was signing.
Forrest then said, “Where’s that singing coming from?”
Then Rainbow said, “It sounds like Neon. In fact, he’s over there.”
Then Rainbow pointed in the direction where Neon was, and Neon was up and about, singing a tune to any random pony he saw. He was singing:
You will die, You will die tonight. You will burn, You will burn to ashes. Little girl, Little girl be burned alive. But do not worry now, as you will all fall down. But do not fear for Neon is here. And everything will be alright. You will die, You will die all of you. You shall buuuurrrn. You shall burn, you shall burn, you shall buuuuuuurrrrrrrn! You will alllllll faaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll!
Then Neon stopped singing and he said to every pony basically in the town, “Goodbye everypony. Nice to meet you all for the first time.”
Then Neon galloped away and went towards the group. They didn’t really hear what he was singing about, but they didn’t want to question it either, as for it was lunch time. And If you know what lunch time means… it means for every fat American to get even fatter… because they basically eat thirty-two Kenyans a day. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise me. I mean with how everyone is suing everyone, I could imagine them eating thirty-two Kenyans a day. Like, they would shove it in their mouths and stuff. I mean Americans are that big.
Anyways, Neon came galloping back to the group and he said, “Hi guys!”
Then Rarity said, “Hello dear. We were looking for you Neon, it’s almost lunch time.”
Then Neon said, “Oh… ok… ”
Then Neon started to go cross eyed once again. And then his eyes started to roll into the back of his head, as in all you could see was just the white in his eyes. But then his eye balls came rolling back into the correct position and stuff.
Anyways, then Rarity didn’t know what to say to that, but she just said, “Uhhhhh… Alright then… uh… well we do have a great place to eat at for lunch. So let’s go there then… Neon Dear… ”
She looked a bit worried about him, but I wouldn’t blame her as I as too worry about him. Then again, he hasn’t killed us yet. Either that means we had a chance to kill him or he wanted to keep us alive for something… like the pony-centipede or something like that. I guess… like… have each pony eat each other’s shit. Yeah… that’s family friendly and stuff… I suppose.
Anyways, they made their way to the Café of Ponyville. Where, you know… the usual place where Twilight’s friends hang out at all the time. Just like in the show, so people can relate to it… and that makes everything so special. Well, of course they followed Rarity, since she and the other two girls knew about it.
They made there was to the Café and Rarity went up to a waiter and said, “Table for six please.”
The waiter then said, with his charming mustache, “Ah yes, Rarity. Did not expect to see you today, but you are always welcomed here. Follow me please.”
So the waiter, with his fancy black suit that he was wearing, showed them to their table, which was outside, and they all sat in their hay spots… whatever they sat down on. You know what I’m talking about, and they were given their menus. The waiter left to leave them in peace so they can see what they wanted to eat. Everyone was silent at the table, but eventually the waiter came back ten minutes later and he came with a pad and a pen to write down their orders.
He then said, “So, does anypony here know what they want to eat?”
Rarity then spoke up first and said, “Yes, I’ll just have the dandelion sandwich. I’m not hungry as of right now.”
The waiter then said, “Good choice. Miss Dash, for you?”
Then Rainbow said, “Yeah, I’ll just have the hay fries. Something quick.”
Forrest heard her say that and he yelled out, “I’ll have the hay fries too!”
Then the waiter and the others stared at him for yelling, in which he said, “Sorry… sorry for yelling. But hey Rainbow, look, we ordered the same thing. Now we have something in common now. Do you like me now?”
Then Rainbow said with a weird smile, “Uhh… sure, but I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”
She really wasn’t getting it, but then again, that’s what true love is, it’s blind. And when you get married, you have financial problems and eventually the wife ends up trying to kill you and shove something her up vagania like a cork or something like that.
Then slits some guys throat and pretends to like you and you fear for the rest of your life whether or not your wife is trying to kill… because that’s what a relationship is. That or the guy cheats on the wife and eventually bitch slapping the wife and raping her and such and killing her later by burning her alive. You know, the usual marriage stuff.
Anyways, Pinkie then told the waiter, “I want one of your special red velvet cupcakes! They sound delicious!”
Then the waiter said, “Yes, of course. You Mr… ”
Then Neon, “Neon party! And I would like buttermilk bread with a small sandwich to go along with it.”
Then the waiter said, “I’m sorry Mr. Party, but we are all out of milk at the moment and… ”
Then the waiter saw a cow flying through the sky and eventually landing on some ponies near by the group’s table, instantly killing a wife and a husband while a kid was crying because the kid’s parents died.
Then the cow bit off the child’s head and then said, “Suuuuuper cow!”
And yes, the cow had a red cape on for those who were wondering. Oh… and the cow was also retarded and yes, Neon made it happen.
Neon then said to the waiter while everyone else was shocked, “Now you have milk!”
The waiter then looked at Neon and said in a calm voice, “Uhhhh… yes… apparently we do now. I will take care of it right away Mr. Party. And for you good sir?”
He said that to Mac, but Mac started to look a little pissed off as he was looking at the menu items.
He then yelled and put the menu down and looked at the waiter, “What is this weird ass soup you have!?”
Then the waiter said, “You mean our House Soup? Why yes, I would be delighted to tell you, it contains… ”
Then Mac cut him off and he said to the waiter, “You liar! I know you’re part of Applejack’s secret underground group that plots to ruin my apples!”
Mac then looked towards the opposite side of the waiter and said out loud, “Chi Chi!”
Then he gave out a signal whistle and then a Vietnam look-a-like pony came out, dragging a cage.
Mac then said, “Chi Chi! This pony here knows something about Applejack. Take him back to base camp now and torture him until he tells you what he knows. And if you do a good job, I’ll give you one cookie. Got it!?”
Then Chi Chi said, “Yes sir, right away sir!”
He said it in an Asian like accident. Then Chi Chi went up to the waiter, who was just standing there, and shocked him with his horn… because he was a unicorn. Then he put the waiter in the cage and dragged the cage off back to Mac’s farm.
Then everyone at the table was shocked, in which case Neon said happily, “What’s that over there.”
He then made everypony look away from the table, as he mentally somehow put the food that they all asked for on the table.
Then Neon said to the group, “Never mind!”
Then everyone looked back and they were shocked to see their food on the table.
Rainbow then asked, “How did this get here?”
Then Neon said, “Who cares!? Let’s eat”
Then he stuffed his face with his food, and so did Pinky Pie.
Her friends looked at her and Pinkie noticed, so she looked up and said to them with a smile, “Come on, it’s fun!”
And she continued to stuff her face with food. And so, the group ate their lovely dinner, while I brought my group to a rundown bar and with food that might have contained food poisoning and rat feces, along with a good ol’ bar fight. Darn that Neon and his clever ways. Oh… and the cow was still there, but when the group finished, it flew away… because he was Super Cow and crime didn’t pay for him… because crime didn’t have a buck fifty to pay up. Anyways, the group got up after they finished and they all nodded, agreeing that it was a good lunch that they just had.
Rarity then said, “Well now, since we all have our stomachs filled, why don’t we take a trip to the spa. Besides, it has been a long day so far and we should relax just a little bit.”
Then Forrest said, “That sounds nice.”
Then Rarity said, “Then let us be on our way to the spa. I’ll lead the way of course.”
Then they went towards the spa, because why not? I mean there was a spa place in Stalia, but you know… no one cared. Eventually, they made their way to the spa, but the day was starting to end, as Celestia’s sun started to go down and give off a nice looking orange color that you would see in a sunset.
They made their way to the Spa and when they got to the front of the building, Rarity said, “We’re here!”
Everyone in the group looked at it with… moderately ok looks to it. I mean, it was just a spa after all. It’s not like if you kill a polar bear inside of it, you’ll get a pot of pot that is golden pot from a narwhal with magical wing power. I mean it’s not like you go inside and two hot chicks gives you a ‘special’ and starts to suck your cock. Or pussy, depending on which way you swing. But yeah, it’s not like anything like that. Maybe some sort of banned version of a My Little Pony universe, but that certainly wouldn’t happen though.
Anyways, Mac then asked Rarity, “Hold on just a dam second here. Has Applejack ever stepped a single hoof in this place?”
Then Rarity hesitated and said, “Uhhhh… yes she did. Why do you ask darling?”
Then Mac said, “There is no way in pony hell that I will ever step hoof in that place! If she infected it with her… wait a second… I got an idea.”
Mac then looked towards Neon and he went up to him and he whispered in his right ear, “Do you think you can do some detective work for me my good friend?”
Then Neon said aloud with a smile, “Of course I can. Just let me get my detective gear on.”
Then Neon somehow transported Benedict Cumberbatch into the universe, which he just looks like an average pony with his usual hair style of something like in the 70s.Well, Benedict also had his Sherlock detective gear on and he looked confused.
He then said to himself, “What the… ”
Then Neon stabbed him in the stomach and took his hat and trench coat.
He then got a magnify glass from nowhere and said, but in a sort of British voice, “Let us find clues to what you are looking for dear chap.”
Then everyone walked inside the spa and were greeted by the two mares that worked there and Rarity gave them her hard earned bits for service, in which case they were then signaled to follow one of the blue mares to the spa area to relax. So they did and everyone got in there spot, as Rarity sat down with a towel over her head, waiting for a hooficure.
Pinky was in the hot tub and relaxing. As for the rest, well Neon was walking around with his magnify glass on, looking for clues of Applejack’s existence anyway and to find such evidence as well. Mac also followed behind Neon as well and they just basically walked all over the place.
As for Rainbow Dash and Forrest, they were just standing there, watching as everything was going on.
Rainbow said after thirty minutes of not saying anything to Rarity, “Well, it looks like you’re enjoying yourself. I’ll go wait outside for you all to finish.”
Then as when Rainbow was about to turn and leave, Rarity then asked, “Where are you going dear?”
Rainbow then said, “I was going to go outside and wait for you guys?”
Then Rarity asked, “I know, but why would you want to do such a thing? This is a chance for you to relax and enjoy yourself. And it will not cost you a single bit since I am paying for it. We are good friends after all.”
Rainbow then said, “Well I wouldn’t mind relaxing just a little bit… but that will make me soft. I’ll just wait outside for you to finish.”
Then Forrest spoke up and said to her, “I’ll go outside with you too.”
Then Rainbow said to him, “Don’t want to go soft too huh? You want to race each other outside?”
Forrest then said, but he did get a little nervous while doing so, “Really? Sure, we can do that?”
Then they were about to go outside, when Rarity finally said, “Well suit yourself. Me and Pinkie will just enjoy the mud masks together than. Go ahead and enjoy yourselves then.”
Then Forrest stopped in his tracks and he then said, “A Mud mask? That does sound kind of nice.”
Then he went towards Rarity, but Rainbow just gave a shrug and left, which of course Forrest saw and immediately regretted his decision. Well, Forrest got in the ready position, as so as Rarity and Pinkie for their mud masks.
The two mares put their mud masks on along with the cucumbers on their eyes and they were happy, except for Forrest a little bit because he was feeling lonely as Rainbow wasn’t there. But he was kept company with Rarity and Pinkie Pie, as they did talk…about stuff that is not interesting whatsoever. With Neon and Mac, Neon looked from top to bottom, corner to corner, side to side, until he looked under a folding chair somewhere near the sauna and found an orange hair.
Neon then said to Mac, “I found of Applejack’s hair!”
He said so while he was picking it up with his hoof, however that worked of course. Mac then formed in evil grin on his face and then he had another thought.
He then asked Neon, “Great… now can you check it to see if you find any weakness whatsoever in her strand of DNA?”
Neon then said, “Give me a second and I’ll find out the answer for you. Hey Vsauce!”
Then, the YouTube celebrity, Vauce, popped out of nowhere right next to Neon, wearing is usual glasses and stuff.
Neon then gave Vsauce the strand of hair and asked him, “Can you find anything that’s scientific about the hair that might reveal a pony’s weakness within their own DNA?”
Vsauce looked at it, and surprisingly he had a smile and said, “Well I can happily look it up for you. Although that will take some time since I have to do all the research and…”
Then Neon hit him in the head with a frying pan. Vsauce was then bleeding everywhere on the floor with his skull cracked open and not moving whatsoever.
Neon then took the single hair and looked at Mac with a smile as always and said to him, “Sorry, it cannot be done.”
Mac then said, “Damn it! Well shoot me a river, shove a banana up monkey’s ass while telling him he’s your uncle-in-law while jacking off to a pony named Joseph Gorden-levit and cry. I thought that plan would work. I just have to wait and see what happens tonight then. Come on Neon, let’s get out of this Applejack infected place.”
So Mac went ahead and went outside to join Rainbow, and Neon went up to the other ponies and removed their cucumber slices off their eyes and said, “It’s time to go! Places to see and ponies to kill… time to kill… by smiling at it and stabbing it… so let’s get moving!”
Then Pinkie had a sad face on and she said, “Awwwee… but I wanted to try out the part where they put hot stones on your back.”
Well, Neon then went outside to wait on them, and they cleaned up and such and joined with the rest of the group outside.
Rarity then said, “Well, since that was relaxing and I do feel in a good mood right now, how about I make each and everypony here a nice dress for the ladies and suits for the gentlecolts?”
Then Pinkie said, “That sounds great! I do need another party dress when I go to parties in Cantorlot. Twilight has been inviting me to some lately!”
Rainbow then said, “She always invites us there Pinkie.”
Pinkie then said, “I know… but the others don’t.”
Of course she was talking about the guys in the group and such and… you get the point.
Well, Rarity then said, “Well then, let us be on our way to my boutique shall we before we have to end this day?”
Then they were off to go to Rarity’s home… or in other words her workplace… which was really her home, so really it’s a place where she would suck cock for a living and get paid. Did that do anything to you? No? Well, who cares right? Oh right… I forgot… just about everyone.
Well just about everyone can go fuck themselves with an iron pole up their asses because who cares. Got the idea? No? Well go fuck myself then… if that makes any sense then. Anyways, they took a bit of a walk, but eventually got to Rarity’s place and she let them inside and closed the door behind her. They went in and while Rainbow and Pinkie were not amazed as they have been there before in the past, Forrest, Mac, and Neon were amazed. Well let me rephrase that.
Forrest was busy being curious and looking around. Mac was looking around as well, but instead of being curious, he was being suspicious if Applejack was there. As for Neon, well he went off to touch everything that he saw…and went exploring the home as well.
Rarity then went to her place of work and then said to the group, “Alright then. I’m just going to take all of your measurements. I’ll do Rainbow and Pinkie first, since the saying goes, ‘Ladies first.”
Rarity then made a gesture to come forth at Rainbow Dash and she said, “Come here Rainbow darling, I’ll do your measurements first.”
Then as Rainbow was going to the area where Rarity was at where she took her measurements, she said to Rainbow, “And please remember to stand still. Unlike last time where you kept moving around.”
Then Rainbow said to her, “Well I can’t help it, these babies (wings) need to spread out and fly.”
Then Rarity said back, “Yes… well your ‘babies’ need to keep still while I’m taking down your measurements.”
Then Rainbow asked Rarity, “Shouldn’t you have my measurements already?”
Then Rarity said, “Yes, well… I don’t mean to sound rude here but, you may have changed size since the last time I took your measurements, so I need to take it again in case if anything is different.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes at Rarity and Rarity was busy doing her thing. As for Pinkie, she was busy hoping up and down, as she smiled away for she was excited to take her measurements. Then again Pinkie is excited about everything. Like I’m sure she would be excited if she was going to get shot or something.
Or maybe excited to get high or take cocaine or something like that. I mean a nine-eleven event could happen in Equestria and she would still be excited… or maybe not, but then again, she is Pinkie Pie after all. And this was a universal thing with… universes and stuff. Well you get my point, she would be excited for just about anything. But sadly, the key word there is almost. As in, sadly for Neon, he’s happy about
everything…. everything… well except for that one time when he lost his powers. But then again I would be sad too if I was him and lost my powers I mean, if I could be that much out of my mind and not give a fuck about anything around me or my surroundings, I would be sad too.
But other than that, Neon would continue to smile even if he saw all of his closest and dearest friends, dead in a ditch and their bodies burnt to a black crisp while being held at gun point. And that gun could shoot him at any moment and chances he would go to hell… and he would be smiling and laughing away it all, like the mad pony he is. But that’s not the part that worries me at all.
The part that worries me, well more or less scares me is that with Neon, you don’t know exactly what he is going to do next. And honestly, that is truly scary. Well, speaking of Neon, Neon was exploring Rarity’s home and touching everything. I do mean touching everything.
Like he was going down a hall and he is moving his arms around, saying “I’m touching everything! I’m touching everything! I’m touching everything!”
Then Neon went quiet, as he stumbled upon the room of Sweetie Belle that she stayed at while at Rarity’s place. I mean… she does live with her parents, which is odd because we never saw them except for once.
Who knows… maybe they are… Nazis! Grammar Nazis! No wonder they hide all the time. Well anyways, Neon stumbled upon her room and found her rolling up a sleeping bag.
Neon then quietly walked into the room and then said, “Hi, I’m Neon Party! What are you doing!?”
Then Sweetie was startled, as she turned around to see who spoke to her. However, she wasn’t scared, as he looked like a friendly pony. That and she was sure that Rarity wouldn’t let a random pony into her home without supervision of course, so that means she trusted the pony that was in her room. But of course we all know the irony of that, as Rarity didn’t know that Neon was wondering around her home, touching everything that he saw.
Well, Sweetie belle then said to Neon, “Hi! Nice to meet you Neon. I’m packing up my sleeping bag because I’m having a sleepover at my friend’s house tonight. And we’re going to stay up all night, trying to find our cutie marks.”
Then Neon saw that she hadn’t quite finished rolling her sleeping bag up, in which case he then asked her, “Need any help rolling up your stuff there?”
Then Sweetie said, “Well I wouldn’t mind the help. Thanks.”
Then Sweetie moved out of the way and Neon started to help roll the sleeping bag up for her.
As he was doing that, Sweetie asked, “So, are you are a friend of my sister?”
Then Neon said, “Maybe… ”
Then Sweetie replied with, “Well, I’m sure you’re her friend. I mean you do look kind of weird and… ”
And Neon looked at her with straight eyes and asked her, but yet with a smile as always, “And weird by how?”
Then Sweetie then said, “Well, I’m not sure how to put it other than you look like you might harm somepony.”
Then Neon said as he was finishing up the sleeping bag, “Why, that is the silliest thought I have ever heard of. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Your sleeping bag is done.”
Neon pushed the sleeping bags towards her and Sweetie then said, “Ummm….. thanks Neon. I’ll be going now. Bye… I guess.”
She was confused and little creped out when Neon made that laugh, but she shrugged it off and went out the door to go to her friend’s place. Now Neon was alone in her room, and can you guess what he did next?
He started to touch everything in that room while continuing to say, “I’m touching everything!”
While Neon was doing that, Rarity was then on to measuring Pinkie Pie, while Mac was looking around the room, being suspicious of Applejack’s past presence as always.
He then asked Rarity as she was working, “Has Applejack ever been here?”
Then Rarity then said while trying to multi-task at the same time, “Uhhh… yes… yes she has been here before.”
Then Mac thought about it and he then asked another question, “Where exactly has she been at in this place?”
Then Rarity said, while giving a bit of tone since she was trying to concentrate on her work after all, “I’m not sure. Now can you please be quiet, I’m trying to concentrate over here.”
Mac then was quiet once again, until he quietly said to himself, “Well I guess burning the entire place down wouldn’t hurt.”
Mac then walked away to find some sort of gasoline, which he looked around and apparently he found some outside, just lying about on its own. He saw it when he passed by a window and stuff.
So he quickly ran outside and said out loud, “This is my gas can! No pony touches it, you hear me! This is mine!”
Then he quickly ran back inside, and headed straight for the kitchen. He then started to pour all the gasoline all over the floor, especially near the oven, so the place explode and there would be no evidence of Applejack’s past presence ever being there in the first place. He then turned the oven on as well, for obvious reasons.
As he was finishing it off the kitchen, he said to himself, “Goodbye place, goodbye place that has Applejack’s infection all over it. Once I do this, I’ll be doing this world a favor. I might even be considered and praised as a hero. What am I talking about, of course I will. I’m taking down an evil pony that is pure evil and deserves to die and burn in her place.”
Soon, Mac somehow, from somewhere, grabbed a match and lit it up.
However, then Neon came up behind him and he said as he put out the match and put his arm over Mac’s mouth, “Shhhhhhh….. everything is going to be all right. Shhhh…. don’t speak, Neon is here. Everything is going to be better. So much better that I’m around now.”
Then he knocked out Mac for a few seconds, in which case he woke up again and he then looked around his surrounding and was confused.
He then asked Neon, “What am I doing here?”
Then Neon said, “We’re going to get new clothes made by Rarity, now let’s go you silly billy.”
Mac then questioned Neon, “Then why is there gasoline all over the place then?”
Then Neon said as he shoved Mac into the room Rarity was, “Time to go you psychotic bastard.”
Then Mac said with a neutral expression, “Well ok then, shoot, let’s go then.”
It seems weird, but then again, Neon works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Well, Rarity was done taking measurements for Forrest, and when she saw Mac and Neon, she then said, “Ah yes… you’re here. Now I can take your measurements. Where were you two anyway?”
Neon then said, “Just… not touching everything.”
Rarity looked puzzled, but she then said, “Alright then, well I’ll take your measurements first Mac.”
And so she did, and Mac’s measurements were… well average. Then she took Neon’s measurements and he was a bit more than average. I was surprised, because he seems to be under average, but that doesn’t matter. I mean, who cares about the average of a pony’s measurements that you’re not seeing and… ohhhhh right… maybe the Grammar Nazis.
But then again, that’s ok, they complain about everything. If someone was committing suicide, they would complain on how the person isn’t committing suicide the right way. Even something is very unrealistic, they would complain about it. and if there is one single thing out of place, they complain about it. Or am I thinking of dried up douche bags instead of Grammar Nazis? Well who cares, what’s the difference?
Well that’s all folks!
Anyways, Rarity then got finished with the measurements and she then said, “Well, I’ve got all of your measurements. I should have your new cloths done by a week or so. If not, defiantly before the Gran Galloping Gala arrives. I’ll let you two girls know when it’s ready. As for you three boys, I’ll send it to you in the mail. Now I believe it’s time for us to go off and join Twilight, as it does seem to be near nighttime.”
And so they left Rarity’s place and headed outside. But before they headed towards the hill, Rainbow then said, “Wait, before we go, Pinkie and I want to show Neon something real quick. Come on Neon, follow us.”
And so Neon did, and Rainbow and Pinkie took him near a pony’s home. Rainbow was positioned over the door with a full bucket of water while Pinkie was near the door. Rainbow then nodded, giving Pinkie the signal to knock on the door.
She did so, and then she scurried away before the door opened. When the door did open, a young stallion walked outside and said, “Hello?”
Then Rainbow poured the bucket of water all over the pony, and Rainbow and Pinkie were laughing away, as Rainbow said, “That was a funny prank, right Neon?”
Then the stallion who was wet from head to hoof, looked at himself and also started to laugh along. Then as they were all laughing, Neon walked up to the stallion and stabbed him a few times in the stomach, ending the laughter. Then Neon let the stallion fall down as he bled to the death.
Rainbow and Pinkie were stunned at the sight they were seeing, but Neon then grabbed them by their arms and said, “Time to go!”
And then Neon took off with the two girls, as the guy was moaning in pain. He couldn’t feel almost anything anymore except for pain. Then the Domino’s Noid came out of nowhere (Most likely by Neon) and stumped on his head a few times, bashing his skull in as his brain and blood came flying out.
Then it went into his home, stole a few things and went running away.
Oh, and he did his famous laugh as well.
The Grand Finale of the day:
Well, soon the second group made their way to the hill and since my group first got to the hill, we saw them and when Twilight saw them, she asked Rarity, “What took you guys so long?”
Then Rarity then said, “Well we were enjoying ourselves, but we’re here now.”
Well, this is it, the finale part of the day. The part that was supposed to symbolize an end of a long day of hanging out and stuff… and in all honesty, it was quite beautiful. Let me explain what happened. It was nighttime of course. The stars were out, nice and bright. They were in their places.
Some areas of the night sky had clusters of stars while others looked like constellations. It was all random really, but it was beautiful outside in the night sky during Luna’s full moon. I even saw a shooting star out or two as well. It wasn’t much, but I still noticed it though. It flew across the sky and made me feel like somewhat like a kid again and felt like wanting to wish for something. Like I wanted to wish for good things to come.
But of course those were just shooting stars, they were just dreams. Nothing more than that, but then again, they were dreams. Dreams are dreams. And even though dreams aren’t real, dreams are dreams aren’t they? That’s what is so special about them, they’re dreams, are they not? Are they not special in their own way?
Is that why when someone’s dreams are crushed by someone, the person would be upset because that particular dream was special to them. Like, a black guy keeps having night terrors because a dream was killed. But, in any case, it was beautiful outside. We were on a hill that was kind of but not really surrounded by the Everfree Forest.
We were all in a group together, looking at the sky, but Twilight still had a surprise. When the second group came in and after Twilight talked to Rarity, she went away from the group, like a few feet or so. She then somehow put something in place… magic… I suppose, and then came rushing back. She then tilted her head towards the sky, in which case everyone else did the same.
However, I was a bit confused, so I looked at her in confusion and asked, “What did you do?”
Twilight then looked at me when she responded, but kept a smile on her face and she told me, “Don’t worry about it Knight. Just keep looking at the sky and watch.”
And so I did what she told me to do, and before I knew it, fireworks appeared. A fireworks exploded in the sky. The color was blue. And then, many more fireworks burst in the sky afterwards and, it honestly looks amazing from my point of view. It exploded with many different colors of the rainbow of course. I know I’ve seen better things in my time in memory’s past before, but sometimes the small things can surprise me.
Sometimes, things don’t have to be that big to be liked. I mean, some guy doesn’t have to make a movie and be famous for it to be liked. It can be liked in its own way if it’s small. But then again, that’s all we are left with, because we are small.
I mean, when I first went through that portal to the outside of the universe, I kind of felt small, and we are small. But I suppose that’s what we are left with and we make the best out of it while also making a big deal of big things. Well, we watched in the sky, saw the fireworks, and after ten minutes, it ended.
It didn’t seem like no other pony in the two towns beside us noticed it, but then again we were decently far from the two towns.
Well, I looked at Twilight and I told her, “Well then… that was… quite amusing Twilight. But can I ask why fireworks?”
Twilight then smiled at me and said, “Well Knight, I thought that we were good friends. All of us here are good friends. And this is sort of the first time actually getting to know each other and visiting each other’s towns, so I thought to start off with getting to know each other and our towns, we could end the day with fireworks, meaning that we ended a great day of friendship.”
I then stared at her for a while until I said, “I didn’t get what you just said there Twilight, but I’m guessing it was smart or clever… so good for you.”
Then, everyone was silent. I wasn’t sure why. Then, Forrest spoke up and then looked at the sky once more, but instead of the stars, he pointed to something and he said while his eyes were wide as they could be, like a really weird anime that you found while looking for henti one lonely night.
He said out loud so everyone could hear, “Why are the Princesses coming here?”
We all looked up as to what he was saying, and Forrest wasn’t lying. Apparently Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had flown all the way to the hill we were at. They also had smiles on their faces and such and honestly it was a surprise to me at the time.
Even for Twilight even, even she wasn’t expecting it. When Celestia and Luna landed on the ground softly, they came walking near us, as they landed a few feet away from us.
Twilight then said with a surprised tone, “Celestia? Luna? What are you doing here?”
Celestia then said to us, “Well, some Timber Wolf wrote us a letter saying that you all were going to see each other today.”
I then looked at her and was really confused as to why Wolf would write such a thing. But I found out later Wolf got so high and drunk off his wooden ass, he wrote a letter to them, complaining why I wasn’t there with them.
Here’s the letter:
Dear Celestia and Luna,
You two have nice sweet asses. Especially you Luna, you have such a sweet ass. Same thing can be said about Cadence too. If Luna and Cadence were both in a sexy naughty night nurse outfit, I’ll totally hit that. I’ll like cum all over your faces and stuff and you can suck my wooden cock, that would be so good. But don’t worry though, I’ll make you two feel good by sliding my wooden dick between your two pussies at once. You’ll be screaming and stuff and everypony will know about it.
And as for you Celestia, well I’ll have you dress up like a school girl and smack your ass and start doing you in the school’s shower. Same thing for Cadence too. If she could like… dress up like a nice school girl, drag me into a closet, and start giving me a blow job, that would be amazing. But that’s not why I’m writing this letter to you, despite you all being so hot sexy mares that I would totally fuck all night.
Well, except for Twilight, but I think she’s too smart for me and I think she has a thing for Knight or something.
I’m not sure, but I’m writing to you because your personal ‘star’ student Knight is being a big jerk… asshole… douche bag with a stick. Basically he left me all alone today. I mean he does that sometimes, but I feel like today he was a bit of a jerk to me. I mean, we’re best friends… the best of best friends and stuff. And there he goes, leaves me for his new friends, where they go and visit your past personal student, Twilight, and her friends and visit each other’s towns for the day. What right does he have to do that? I mean, he leaves me here, all alone, while Princess Molestia isn’t here at all to molest me, so I have to result to getting high and drunk at the same time.
Honestly it’s the best feeling in the world, but… I see things sometimes. Like right now I’m seeing a penguin that won’t leave me alone. I feel like this penguin is going to kill me, but it’s alright… my buddy here… my friend the toaster will protect me.
Right toaster? You’ll protect me? He’s… he’s shy is all. Shhh… don’t talk loudly… you’ll scare him away… wait… this is a letter… why am I writing this to you again? Oh that’s right… Knight… he’s a great guy… but he can be rude sometimes. I mean… like very rude.
Like today, he left me to go and visit Ponyville with his other friends along with Twilight’s friends, so they can get to know each other better and their towns. And sooner or later they will be coming by here… I trusted him you know? I mean why is he doing this? I mean before he came here, we were best friends and hanged out and stuff… now he doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore. I know that he’s part of this elements and stuff, and it would be a good idea for both set of elements to meet each other and stuff and become friends and what not… but why does he have to leave me alone?
I feel sad now. I mean, TK is here with me, but he’s no fun. I tried to play beer pong with him, but he just ignored me and told me to fuck off. Where does he get his kicks from you know? Where does he get off? Why? Ummm… I’m not sure what to say anymore… kind of… feel like I’m going to throw up all the beer that I had drunk. I’m starting to see colors and stuff all around me. Like a double rainbow and stuff… double fire rainbow?
Maybe… Well… just remember, if you, Luna, or Cadence, ever want to hit it off and do what I said my suggestions were… let me know… because I could do it all night long you sweet ass mares. Good night everypony… I’ll be here all week… every week. Goodbye.
P.S. I really want to hit that nice ass that you all have. Sincerely, Wolf, the one that has a sex addiction
And he sent the letter like that. I know it seemed long and hard… and how some of it is improper, but hey, Wolf is Wolf and he does what he does. In other words banging mares all day. But that’s what is so special about him though.
Well, Celestia then continued on to say, “We were actually very pleased with this idea and wanted to say something earlier. But we didn’t get the letter from Wolf until around noon, and we were quite busy at that time. So we apologize for not coming by.”
Luna then spoke up, like finally, “Yes, we both think it was a pleasant idea for you two elements to get to know each other and such. The Elements of Protection and the Elements of harmony, both learning more about each other and forming bonds that will last a lifetime. However, we suspect that day has now come to an end?”
Then Twilight said to Luna, “Well, almost. We just saw fireworks to end the day. We were going to talk some more and then we were going to head back to our homes. It is late after all.”
Celestia and Luna then looked at each other quickly, and smiled throughout, in which Luna then said, “Then you wouldn’t mind if you stayed a little longer do you?”
Twilight then looked a bit confused, in which case, she then asked, “What do you mean?”
Then Celestia said to us all, “We do have a surprise for you and it will be a great addition to ending your day together. Just keep looking up at the sky.”
and so we all did… and… a gorgeous meteor shower appeared before us. Streaks of light flew through the sky in groups and it was amazing as well. Just amazing like Twilight’s fireworks. It was so amazing and peaceful, that I had a little tune in my head, a small violin tune.
As I was watching as the lights flew by over our heads, Celestia came up to me and she asked me as she grabbed my attention by of course, coming near me and asking me, “So, may I ask who came up with the idea of what happened today?”
I then said to her, “Well, it was Twilight who came up with it, but I supported her idea and everything. I mean, in all honesty, I didn’t want it to happen, but I went along with it. And I’ll admit, it wasn’t bad.”
Celestia then asked me while looking upon my friends, “Do you think your friends made new friends today?”
I then looked at my friends as well and then said, “Maybe. I’m not sure, but perhaps to the Elements of Harmony they did, but not sure about them.”
Celestia then asked me, “Well, did you at least made new friends?”
I then told her, “I’m already friends with them.”
She then said, “Well, maybe with Twilight, but I don’t recall you ever really being friends with her friends.”
I then told her, “I don’t get where this is going.”
Then Celestia said, “Let me ask you this Knight. Did you learn a new lesson on friendship today?”
I then stared at her and was thinking in my head, ‘Seriously? Are you fucking serious right now? Only if you knew. Only if you knew.’
I then said to her, “Well… sort of.”
Celestia then asked me, “And do you mind giving me your report in person?”
I then said to her, “I do kind of mind, but I suppose I could.”
Celestia then said to me while moving her ears a bit, “I’m all ears.”
I then told her, “Alright then. What I learned about friendship today is that, you can be from two different towns. You can be from two very different places with back grounds, personalities, ect. But that should not stop a friendship from bonding and having friends. Me and my friends are kind of the opposite from Twilight’s friends, but yet, I believe Twilight’s friends saw something else of course within my friends and became friends with them. As for the others, I’m not entirely sure if that’s the same case, but I do know that’s what somepony can learn about friendship.”
Celestia then smiled even more and said, “I think that was a good lesson Knight.”
I then said to her, “Yeah… you’re welcome.”
She then went away, in which case all I had to say was that was kind of a lie what I told her. It is true that you shouldn’t let other places from different backgrounds stop you from forming friendships. But honestly, I didn’t learn anything, and that’s nothing new. It’s true what I said, but at the same time, useless and no one cares.
Anyways, I looked at Twilight, which she was still near me and asked, “So Twilight, how did you feel about today?”
She then said to me, “Well, I have a lot to say, but to summarize it all up: You just never know what tomorrow is going to bring.”
I then nodded quietly and we all continued to look at the sky. Eventually, the light show ended and Celestia and Luna then looked at us all.
We looked at them and Celestia then said, “I would like to thank you all for doing such a great thing today. It was a good idea to do so as well, as perhaps in the future maybe, you will all need each other. But for now, I believe it is time we all went home and got some rest.”
We all nodded to each other, in which case Celestia then said, “Well, we should be getting back. Once again, thank you, and have a good night to you all.”
And then they left to go back to Cantorlot and such. Twilight then turned her head to her friends and started to talk, same thing with my friends in which they talked amongst themselves while I simply ignored it. However, a dark figure that was near the base of the hill caught my eye.
It was TK, and he was staring at me as if he wanted me to come near.
I did so and went to him, in which case when I got near, I asked him, “What is it TK?”
TK then said to me, “Just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
I then told him, “Of course I am alright TK. What’s gotten in to you? This doesn’t seem like you too much.”
TK then said to me, “I’m just curious about your safety is all Knight. I know for a fact, that something here is out to get you Knight. Something that is more powerful than you will ever be.”
I then told him, “Sure, that makes sense to me, but at the same time I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, just go on home and do your… devil stuff.”
TK then told me, “I’m working on finding TF for right now. So my ‘devil stuff’ will have to be put on hold for now.”
I then told him, “Sure, whatever you say there. I’m heading back, see you sometime later when you’re not that much of a prick… and stuff.”
I then headed back to the others, but TK then had his eye caught by something standing near him. It was that guy who was in my room that one night, that talked to me in my sleep and was in heaven and stuff, standing there, looking at him, in which case I didn’t notice him, but maybe he was where I wouldn’t have noticed him.
TK then slowly walked up to him and then asked him calmly, “Who are you?”
The mysterious creature then said, “I could ask you the same thing.”
Then TK said, “What do you want?”
Then the mysterious creature said, “What I want? Please, I don’t need much. This is my home, what more can I ask for.”
Then TK said, but with a much more gritty tone, “I said… what do you want?”
The mysterious creature then said, “I want for you to go away.”
TK then said, “What exactly do you mean by that?”
The creature then said, “I want you to leave this universe, so I may continue my work with Knight.”
TK then was silent, but then said, “I’m not leaving. The only way that is going to happen is if you kill me, but of course I’ll kill you first if you dare try.”
Then the creature said, “Oh please, I can take you down within a second. Besides, I have more power than you do TK. So it is best to stay out of my way.”
TK then paused again, but then asked, “What do you want with Knight?”
The Bi-pedal creature then said, “Ahh yes, an actual question for once. Well, that is a bit classified information. But if you want to go off of something, all I can say is that I need to prepare him for something.”
TK then asked, “Prepare him for what?”
Then the creature said to TK, “I would tell you, but honestly you are not worth my time. Besides, you disgust me and I would prefer you out of this universe at once. In fact, I would prefer you to stay out of all the universes that relates to this one entirely. I have enough problems with something else running around and taking away children from their nice homes.”
TK then asked him, “How do you know about the portals?”
The mysterious creature then said, “Well I have been watching them for quite some time. It’s interesting actually, a bit repetitive, but interesting.
And I have also been watching Knight as well, and now that he is here, I would like for you and that Factory Dash of yours to go away. It’ll mess up the plans that I have for him.”
TK then said, “Like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”
Then the creature said, “Well, I would force you out myself… or even kill you for that matter. But, I feel that if you were to go, MAYBE Knight wouldn’t be the same. So perhaps not now, but sometime in the future I will. But keep in mind this: If you get in my way, then you shall suffer the consequences. Along with your actions resulting and very negative effects as well. Anyway, I must be going now. I feel that my presence is currently wanted by some other pony. Enjoy the rest of your evening TK. And I suppose I will be seeing you in the future.”
Then the mysterious creature vanished, in which case TK went away as well to go back to the outside of the universe. As for the creature, he went into a black home, but yet the floor seems to be there, but not visible. It’s a bit hard to explain. Like, it was like a black void that really wasn’t a black void.
Anyways, Fausticorn was waiting around in the place, when finally the creature showed up and she asked the creature, “Where were you? I’ve been waiting for you.”
The creature then said, “Yes, my apologizes. I just had to take a look around to make sure everything was alright.”
Fuasticorn then asked the creature, “Is everything ok?”
The creature then said to her, “Yes, nothing for you to worry about. Besides, I have my responsibilities as you have yours. That was the agreement we made over forty-thousand years ago after you became god. Now, what seems to be the problem if I may ask?”
Fausticorn then said, “There’s no problem. I just was curious about something is all. Is it possible for a soul to go somewhere else other than here?”
Then the creature was silent. Fausitcorn was waiting an answer from the creature, anticipating the answer from him.
It then spoke, “No… no it is not possible.”
Fausticorn then looked a little sad and then said, “Oh, well, I was just curious is all. I’ll see you sometime soon then.”
She then walked out sad, while a tear drop formed in her eyes and she started to feel like crying. She kept her head down low and ears low as well. But only if she knew. As she walked out of the dark room, the creature then made a motion, where he put out his right arm towards the ground, but it then slowly rose the arm up.
As the arm was going up, a throne was rising up in unison as well. It then came to a stopped, in which he walked towards it and sat on it, putting its elbow on the arm chair while its fist was supporting its head. As if it was bored or something and couldn’t find anything to do.
It then said quietly to himself, “Someday you will know the truth Fausticorn, and I hope you could forgive me when I do tell it to you.”
Well, aside from that, I was back with everyone else in the group, and when I went to Twilight, she then said to me, “Well Knight, this was a fun day. Maybe we could do it another time perhaps?”
I then said, “Perhaps you should put a hold on that thought for a while Twilight. I mean it’s been a long day and… ”
Twilight then cut me off and told me, “I understand Knight. Well, we’re going to head back home then. We’ll see you next time ok?”
I then said to her, “Sure, next time… whenever that may be.”
Twilight giggled a little when I said that.
She then said, “Bye Knight.”
And then as the Elements of Harmony were walking away from us, they all waved good bye and said their farewells for the night. Then, they were out of sight and out of range for what we would say.
Forrest then spoke to everyone, “So… what did everypony think about the Elements of Harmony?”
Then Mac said, “I hate them… fucking Applejack is with them.”
He then started to walk away back to Stalia. Jack then spoke up and said, “Ehhh… it could have been better.”
Then he too started to walk away.
Arrell then put his two cents in and said, “Fluttershy went into my shed… I’m unhappy about that… ”
Then he also walked away from the hill.
Neon then said, “I killed a bunch of ponies today!,” he said with a smile on his face, in which case he also too walked away.
Forrest then looked down, but mostly because he liked the group, but it’s possibly he is the weakling of the group and he has a thing for Rainbow Dash.
He then looked towards me and he asked, “Knight, what did you think about the group?”
I then told him, “I wish it wouldn’t have happened. But, I’ll admit, I had fun with them. I mean it’s been a long time since I had ‘that’ type of fun. And all in all, it was decent and one of those special times I will keep within my own memory. As for doing it a second time, we’ll let fate decide that. But like I said, it should not have happened, but it was fun while it happened though at least.”
Forrest then had a little smile on his face, while I kept looking at the sky and the stars and what not. Forrest then headed down towards Stalia to go home.
I stood there for a few more minutes, until I yawned and said to myself, “I suppose I should go back home and go to sleep. It’s almost one in the morning I think.”
I then headed down towards the hill, back to my library home where Wolf would be either high, drunk, or doing it with Molestia. Which, by now, I’m thinking that she isn’t even molesting him, she’s just having hardcore sex with him. I mean, those two have always been at it.
Anyways, as I was getting off from the hill, I was near the edge of the Everfree Forest, so Neon was waiting for me and he then came up to me and said, “There you are Knight. I’ve got the surprise I wanted to show you.”
I then told him with a very particular tone that you can obviously guess from my choice of words, “Neon, it’s late at night and I want to go to bed. Can you and your crazy ideas or whatever messed up you have planned for me wait until in the morning?”
Neon then said, “Of course not silly billy… jilly. Now come with me, you’re going to like your surprise.”
Neon then went behind me and started to shove me in the direction of the church that he and his group visited early. He then brought me to the church, and all the cult members were there and such and were worshipping their all powerful Pancake Monster God.
When we got to the front door of the church, I asked Neon, “What is this? Christianity? Muslim-Jew-ity? Is it a black religion where they sing a happy song for every little thing that they do and become very hyper-active while jumping through the air and doing back flips?”
Neon then said to me, “Nope… it’s the Pancake Religion!”
Then I said, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that again to me Neon? I’m afraid I have a bunch of bullshit in my ears at the moment.”
Then Neon grabbed out a mega phone and said close to my pony ears, “I said the Pancake Religion!”
He then threw the megaphone away, in which case I then told him, “Listen… Neon… I’m going to guess you’re not bullshitting me this time because you clearly said it to me twice in a megaphone, so I’m going to walk away now and sleep this off as if this never happened.”
Neon then said and held me down so I couldn’t leave, “Oh, but before you leave, you must become a witness to the most glorious thing since sliced bread. Hear the cult members pray Knight.”
Neon then opened the door, and I saw all the cult members in a circle, on the floor, saying in unison, “Oh great Pancake Monster God. We pray for your forgiveness for our sins, as you fried for our sins. We ask of thee to protect us from the great evil around us. We shall pray to you every day and show our loyalty towards thee. We shall chant you name to the heavens. We shall stand by your side for all of eternity.
‘We pray to thee Pancake Monster God, for your protection and guidance, oh wise Pancake Monster God. Guide us towards the light and away from the darkness. The darkness that consumes everypony’s souls every day. The darkness that feeds off of our souls. Guide as through a path of light, in your honor, oh great Pancake Monster God. And may your son, Flapjack, may not have died in vain for our sins as well. You two are the greatest of all pony kind, and we ask you of thee for your blessing for us tonight, as we live through our very lives in fear of death and destruction. And please give us some pancake hoes and pancake pimps with big pancake tits and dicks, Amen.”
Huh…so apparently that pancake thing idea was right… pancake hoes and pimps. Oh well.
Well, I saw what I heard and then I said, “Well Neon, I’ll admit, this cult seems like suicidal to me. I wonder if there’s a town where they don’t let anyone leave and they force everyone to commit suicide just like that one cult.”
Then Neon said, “Even better, they do it with the Kool-Aid man.”
So apparently he was right, the Kool-Aid man would make them commit suicide by drinking poisoned Kool-Aid drinks while he says ‘Oh Yeah!’ all the time. If necessary of course, which I wouldn’t know why or when, but apparently it was a thing among the cult members. Surprised about they knew who Kool-Aid even is, oh well I guess… magic…
Well, Neon then said to me, “Come Knight, there is still one more thing to bare witness to.”
Then Neon dragged me to the stone rock.
He then put me down in front of the stone rock and he said, “Now watch, as the great and evil Stone Rock Monster rises from the ashes, and Pancake Monster God comes down from the heavens to destroy the beast!”
Neon then let me loose, in which case I got up and said to him, “Neon, there’s no such thing as a Pancake Monster Go….. ”
And then I was cut off by a big thump of the Pancake Monster God. As in it dropped from the heavens and it was big…like fifty feet big. He even looked angry with the stack of pancakes for a face.
He then yelled out, “Who summoned me, the great and almighty Pancake Monster God! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Then the Stone Rock rose as well from the ground, it turned into a Stone Rock Monster, and it just looked like a rock monster.
It then said as it rose up to fifty and a half feet tall, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It is me, your old nemesis! Ahhhhhh!”
Then the Pancake god said, “I thought you were dead! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Then the Stone Rock monster said, “I’m not dead yet bitch! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Then the Pancake Monster said, “Prepare to meet your demise once more Stone Rock Monster! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
And then the Pancake Monster God threw a punch to the Stone Rock Monster. No wait…. let me rephrase that… he lightly slapped him, and then the Stone rock monster fell to the ground, as if he had been in a long fight and was about to die.
The Stone Rock Monster said, “I have underestimated the power of the sandwich. I guess it is true that you do have super sand powers! Ahhhhhhhhh!”
Then Pancake Monster God said, “You better stay away from Equestria! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Then out of nowhere, giant rock lobsters were coming from the ground, taking hold of the Stone Rock Monster and dragging him underground.
The Stone Rock said while being dragged underneath, “Oh no… I’m being dragged into Rock Lobster Hell! Ah!”
Then Pancake Monster God said, while pointing at the Stone Rock with his… pancake hands, “That’s what you get for being a big meanie! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Then the Stone Monster said while his head was remaining above ground, “I’ll see you in the next episode in episode 336,969 when I come back from Super Syain planet with my friends and kidnap your son Flapjack. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah aha ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!”
Then the Pancake Monster God said to him before the Stone Rock Monster went to Rock Lobster Hell, “Don’t bet on it you…. you…. faggot.”
Then it flew into the skies, far away from Equestria, while the Stone Rock Monster went to Rock Lobster Hell.
Then I looked at Neon once everything calmed down and asked, “Neon… what point are you trying to make here?”
Neon then said to me, “I’m just showing you your fellow pony. Well, I’m going to go home now and go to sleep and dream about barfing rainbows up and becoming it’s father. But I better be quiet though, Mr. Sweet is still telling his war story to the dead kids that I killed earlier today. Well goodnight Knight.”
Then Neon walked away, and he was right, the old guy was still telling the story of his war days to the dead kids and stuff. Anyways, I headed down into Stalia, not too much of a walk for me.
As I was about to get into my home and go to sleep, one more thing happened, Mac went up to me and said, “Knight, there you are buddy. I’ve been looking all over for you. Come on, we’ve got to get this started and over with already.”
I then asked him, “What are you talking about?”
Mac then said, “Don’t tell me you don’t remember Knight. Never mind, we need to get going now, it’s the perfect time to strike.”
Then Mac grabbed my right arm and dragged me along with him to Ponyville… more specifically, to Applejack’s farm. So Mac pretty much dragged me all the way over there, while I pretty much went along with the idea since I didn’t feel like fighting back. The way I saw it, the less I resist, the sooner I would get it over with and never have to deal with it ever again.
Well, eventually we reached her farm and we snuck through the apple trees and eventually we saw her home. The lights were still on and the animals were sleeping. We just had to be quiet so we didn’t make any noise whatsoever to draw their attention as clearly they were still awake. Anyways, we eventually came along a fence, nothing serious, just a plain wooden fence that was high enough to keep any escape animals out. Well, we stopped behind this fence and Mac let me go.
I then asked him, “What are we doing here?”
Then Mac said, “I told you Knight. Don’t you remember? You finally joined my side in the group to kill Applejack.”
I then said, “But all the other members that you had were dead. Remember they were all killed by that dragon from last time…and the dragon was raped by one of their ghosts and died of ghost AIDS.”
Then Mac said, “What are you talking about, they’re perfectly alive.”
Then Mac pointed behind him and there stood the group that I saw last time that I somehow didn’t notice before.
One of the members then said, “Hi.”
He also waved, what a nice pony. I also somehow forgot earlier that day, Mac said he was going to do something like this. I just thought he wouldn’t do it and instead go and rape a tree or something like that while being drunk.
Well, I then said, “Well then, I’m guessing I’m stuck here until we’ve accomplished what you wanted to accomplish. But how did they come back from the dead?”
Mac then told me, “Apparently heaven doesn’t allow midgets apparently.”
He then looked towards the house and kept an eye on it. Soon, the house went dark and it had seemed that everypony living there went to bed.
Mac then had a smile and said to everyone, “Alright then. They’re all asleep now. Now it’s time to move out with the plan. Midget ponies, you go and start throwing the stuff around the trees. Knight, you keep a look out in case if anypony happens to stroll by. If you see one, kill the pony… no wait… on second thought, don’t kill the pony. He or she might know something about Applejack, so keep the pony alive in case Applejack escapes. But if he or she doesn’t, you can exterminate the scumbag of this world. And I’ll go ahead and get ready for anypony that will come out of that house. Now get going, we have very little time before she realizes we’re whispering… ”
Then I looked at him for what he had said and he then continued to say, “She has super hearing… that’s what makes her so evil.”
I then looked at him while the other ponies went to grab gasoline tanks and throw it all over the trees.
I then said to him, while he found an axe on the ground, in which case he picked it up with his two hooves and tried to put it in the ready position as if he was going to kill somepony, “I don’t think Applejack has super hearing… and I’m sure that doesn’t make her evil either. Plus this is stupid.”
Then Mac told me, “Of course she has super hearing Knight. That’s why she’s evil. So it’s up to us to save everypony else from her evil ways.”
Then Mac started to get a little louder than what he had intended and continued to say, “We must eliminate the scum of the Earth! We must protect society and preserve from the evil clutches of Applejack!! We must fight back with all we’ve got!!! She may take our lives! But she will not take our freedom!!!!”
Then as Mac was saying that, he was standing on two hooves while holding the axe in the air.
Then the lights soon came on within the house, more specifically, Applejack’s room and she yelled out, “Who in the hay is out there!”
And she also opened up her window to try and see who it was, but it was still dark of course.
But then the midget ponies behind us, that was only a few yards away from us had soon said, “Uhhh… Mac… we just used all twenty-one gas cans on this one tree. Should we light it? We’re going to light it.”
Well, at least one of the midget ponies said it, I mean, they all looked alike to me, so I couldn’t really say who it was. They were all the same to me. Well anyways, the one midget pony that said it then soon lit a match and lit the apple tree on fire, and soon all the group around that one tree were also on fire, and they were screaming through the night.
Soon, as the tree was lit up and it was bright enough for Applejack to see, she saw Mac, but surprisingly not me, as she yelled, “Dang it Mac!”
Then Mac looked in shock and said, “Oh shit.”
He then looked at me and I then said, “ I’m going to go back home Mac, good luck.”
I then walked back to Stalia, back to home so I could get some rest. With Mac, he looked at his axe, and back at the window, but Applejack was gone. And soon, Big Mac and Applejack busted down their front door and looked at Mac in rage, and then Mac immediately dropped the axe and made a break for it. He ran through the trees, away from the fire, and eventually he lost sight of Applejack and Big Mac. And they also lost sight of Mac as well.
As soon as Mac was in the clear, he said as he continued to walk, “Darn those ponies! They said they were going to help me, not ruin my plans! Now I won’t be able to get my revenge at this point!”
Then Mac bumped into that little club house that the CMC had fixed up, because Mac didn’t see where he was walking. He bumped into it, in which case he was curious as to what laid inside it. So he looked through a window that was nearby and took a peek. What he saw was the CMC having a sleep over, and they were well asleep and such, in which case, Mac had an evil grin on his face.
Mac then quietly said to himself, “I’ve got you now Applejack. I’m going to take away what you love the most away from you… your little sister.”
Then Mac quietly opened the door, because of course it would be unlocked. So he quietly opened the door and went straight for the CMC, without disturbing there sleep… and then… well I’ll tell what happened to them next time. As for me on the other hand, it took me roughly thirty minutes to get back into Stalia, and another ten minutes to get back to my home. I unlocked the door, went into my home, and closed the door behind me.
All the lights were off and it seemed that Wolf was well asleep, possibly either dreaming of doing what he said he wanted to do in his letter to the Princesses early that day not too long ago. Well, as I was about to head towards the stairs, soon the fire place came on without anyone really being there to make it be on fire. I turned around to see what started it, and sitting in a chair was Arctic Aurora.
He then said as he got up, “I’ve been waiting for you Knight. I’ve waited, but it didn’t seem you would show up.”
I then told him, very calmly, “Yes, well I’ve been busy as the moment… who are you and why are you a ghost? I mean, I know I’ve seen some weird shit before, I’m just curious as to why you’re in a ghost like state right now is all.”
Then Arctic then said to me, “My name is Arctic Aurora. You do not know me, but I know you. I am aware of your past where you come from, but please, do not be alarmed. But if you are curious as to how I know it, let’s just say I just know somehow. As for why I am here, I have come to seek for your help.”
I then said to him, “What are you talking about? I mean I do help, but right now isn’t the right time for me to help. I have a TF problem, I’m currently stuck here in this town, and a whole bunch of other stuff.”
Arctic then said to me, “Please, I beg of you dear Knight, my daughter has been kidnapped into The Other Side. I cannot venture out, as it is very dangerous, but I know you have what it takes to go there and get my daughter back out alive.”
And then I told him, “And why should I care?”
Then he told me, “Because, you’re my only hope to turn to, as I am sure of there is no one else that has ventured far and wide, especially into many worlds as you and your two friends have in the past.”
I then asked him, “And if I do this, will I get anything in return?”
Then Arctic told me, “I wouldn’t expect you to have anything in return.”
I then told him, “Well, you got me there. I’m guessing I’m just a bit bored right now.”
Then Arctic told me, “Then this shouldn’t be a problem for you. Please, think it over, but remember, there is not much time left.”
As Arctic was about to leave, I told him, “I’ll do it… I’ll help get your daughter back. Just come back in a few days and I’ll see if TK can help or whatnot.”
He then had a smile and he said, “Thank you Knight. I’ll try to help out as much as I possibly can.”
Then Arctic went away, and I said to myself as I was walking up the stairs, “Why do I keep getting into these messes?”
And then I went into my room, Wolf was sleeping by himself this time, and I put my hat on the rack by the door and put my satchel away that I seem to never notice that is ever there, but yet it is, got into my bed, and went to sleep. Well, that’s about it for now.
I’ll end up continuing this some other time. For now, I must return this phoenix back to its rightful owner and get back without Celestia and Luna finding out I was gone. I swear, I’ll kill those two one day… one day…
Next Time:
Knight: An old friend returns, although I shouldn’t say the word friend, as he isn’t a friend, but an idiot. An old idiot returns with a famous Brony among the Bronies in the year 2020 comes to haunt down an old idiot of mine for a large sum of money he did not pay back. So now, Neon, the idiot, and I have to steal from place to pay back the Brony or else he’ll kill me and the other two within one week. And yes, we rob a BronyCon
My Little Pony: Friendship is magic Universal Magic: Episode 23: A Griffin's Debt
Well well well, once again, it is time to continue writing my story… my life story that is. Well technically it’s not a life story since I’m still alive and well, well sort of, but as always, that will be explained later.
And of course someone is going to be impatient when reading this and says no to that and will then point a gun at a duck and take it hostage until I tell the guy what happens… but fuck that duck, that duck can go fuck itself and go to duck hell. Also, I do wonder, when this story is finished being written down, I wonder how I will get it back on Earth… I just never thought that far ahead is all.
Maybe I’ll just give it someone random, or perhaps give it to a black guy. Although he might just sell it for crack, maybe a nice Jew might be a good decision. But then that Jew can sue me because of all the copyright bullshit that I have done, but then again it’s not like he can get me here… unless it’s a magic Jew.
Oh well, but then will this story ever go public? I’m not sure, maybe it’ll go on some sight like a Brony sight and then everyone complains about it… and then everyone puts a stick of dynamite up their asses because it feels good. Oh well, then again perhaps a serial killer could also pick this up and read it, but then I wouldn’t care if a killer did read this and get inspiration. Isn’t real life enough inspiration for the killer?
Well maybe, but I’m not sure on that. Well anyways, I’m once again back on the phoenix. Although the question is… did anything else happen in this current timeline that I am writing this story in happen? I mean just to make sure no one goes on a black which hunt, just to clear confusion, I suppose I should explain that when I’m not explaining parts in my life, it is the far future than what the parts that I am explaining.
Like I’m writing a memoir… but my way that is, but you get the point. So the question is did anything else happen, since I did mention last time how Celestia and Luna were somewhat pissed at me? Well, why yes, something did happen… thanks for asking non-existent caring people… crickets… whatever. Someone cares out there. I just know it. But whatever, I guess I should explain as to what happened last time, a sort of part two to it you could say. A little prologue. But I guess if you really didn't care... you could always just skip it... again... you bastards...
Well, let’s see what happened. Let me think of where I could pick up at for you guys. Ummm... right after I closed off for the night with my last section of writing, it was almost morning I recall yesterday, so I made the phoenix turn back home.
We of course were flying in a big huge circle around a big lake that is near Cantorlot, so I can get back to the castle in time. Anyways, I get back to the farm where the animal belong at and of course I put it back in the barn and make it look like no one has been in it.
Celestia’s sun was half way there to rising, so I quickly made my way back to the castle. Of course, I dodged all the guards without a sound or trace and quickly climbed the castle as fast as I could to get back to my room, which was pretty near the top. So it’s like a classic fairy tale I suppose, oh look… symbolism… now a lot of you people can shut up now. Anyways, I climbed up and quickly got into my room, while also opening the window of course. I mean like no shit right? How else could I have gotten in... well unless i could walkj through walls. I think there's a spell for that somewhere in the acrhive in the castle. Maybe...
Well, I then close the window as I get in, as Wolf was still sleeping with his sickness that he has at the moment, although he was still Wolf. Even though he felt ill, he was still acting like his usual self and kind of kicking back and enjoying the sickness. I'm sure if he got any other deadly disease, he would kick back and enjoy the excuse of not going near anyone and sleeping all day. That's just how he was sometimes.
Anyways, I quickly got into my bed, under the covers, and made it look like I’m fast asleep… or that I was asleep that is. I don’t know really, but you get the idea. Although I do suppose if I want to make it legit, I could always just jack off in the bed and make it look like if I had a wet dream… but that would be disgusting. But then again, Wolf could always eat it… even if it isn’t his cum.
Well, I got in bed and closed my eyes as I could feel the warmth of Celestia’s sun go through my window. I could also see the light that takes away the darkness when I close my eyes, as it is obvious when that happens when you close your eyes in the dark… it’s dark, but add a little light, it gets a little less dark when you close your eyes, but whatever.
Well, as usual, Celestia or Luna… or both… came to check up on me to make sure I’m still in my bed. Well I hear stomping coming from the hallway, but it sounded bad. Well, I also heard some arguing as well and to my surprise this time around, as it was unusual to hear arguing in the morning… well that isn’t from me that is, it was Luna and Celestia.
I could hear Luna saying to Celestia, “Do not act like this! You must understand he was only wanting a little freedom and to see the beauty of the stars at night and to see them shine so bright!”
Then I heard Celestia say right before she busted in, “I don’t care if he wanted to take a stroll through the forest, he broke the rules! He needs to know where his place is at and to stay there!”
Then there was a loud noise, as the door was violently opened with Celestia’s right hoof. She busted through the door… doors… it was a set of double doors for my room by the way... and I acted as I slowly woke up and pretended to yawn as if I had been there the entire night.
When I slowly opened my eyes, to pretend of course, I saw Celestia had a pissed off look in her eyes as she got near my face and was not pleased what I had done the previous night.
She then said to me with a very peculiar tone with a sense of fire in her eyes, “You son of a fucking bitch!”
I then said to her in a calm tone with a small smirk on my face, but neither of the two noticed it, “So, you can use curse words, but I can’t? What a hypocrite you are… I thought your dear mum taught you better than that.”
Celestia then marched right over to me as she stomped her hooves on the ground as she said to me, “That does not matter right now! In fact you deserved to be called such a thing because you broke the rules! We had an agreement that you would not leave this castle without us knowing! You disrespected me, Luna, and her! You don't even deserve to be here right now after the little stutn that you pulled last night!”
I then told her while having a playful smirk on my face and yeasing her, “ Little stunt? So what now, I can’t leave the castle to go into Cantorlot now? Why are you changing the rules so sudden Celestia? So basically saying… you’re a hypocrite and a liar… your mum would be ashamed of you.”
Celestia then screamed with rage in her voice, and she picked me up with her hooves and picked me up from the bed while using her wings to float in the air. While she did that, Wolf was awoken by our ‘conversation’ and he looked a bit annoyed.
Celestia said while she was holding me in the air while she was firing up her magic and had a white glow to her eyes, “I’m going to make you wish you had killed me last night!”
I then told her with a crazy look in my eyes and an evil looking smirk on my face, “Bring it on then you bitch! I’ve been through hell and back, you would just be like a small bug to crush!”
Then Luna stepped in and said as the best she could with her worried look and voice, “Celestia! Knight! Do not do this! I beg of you both, please stop arguing… this is not the way to act! Celestia, I know that what Knight did was wrong and against the rules that we and others have set for him to follow, but please listen to reason. Would she want to see you acting this way towards him? After what she has been through with him? What we’ve been through with him this entire time and the things he has shown us? Please do not harm him dear sister and let all of this go to waste and do not let our mother let over a thousand years become nothing. It would bring great depression for her, and I do believe the life she has had for over fifty thousand years of living in this world was enough filled with despair for her. She has been through much… so please do not hurt her any further. And please do not hurt him… you know that well enough that Knight means no harm to us. And in many ways he means something to us. We can't hurt him now or ever just because he broke a few little rules. So please… put him down Celestia and let this go.”
Celestia was staring at Luna with rage when she talked. It seemed that every word that Luna spoke out, she wasn’t sure whether to ignore her and kill me, or listen to her wise words of wisdom and let the whole situation go. As for me, I just looked like I was annoyed as I still had that crazy look in my eyes and that she had interrupted our little conversation between me and Celestia.
Celestia continued to stare deeply into Luna’s eyes after she had talked to her… thinking about every single word she had said and trying to make some sort of meaning out of it. She just kept trying to judge me and wonder if she should really go through with it or not. After a moment of silence, Celestia brought me down slowly to her eye level and I could tell within her eyes, she was enraged… but there was something else deep from within telling her that she should remember who I really was and what I meant to her in the end.
She then started to tear up, but instead of a sad face, she was still angry. Soon she turned her head to me and put me down gently on the bed and turned her body towards Luna. I stared at her, wondering what her next move would be.
She then said to me, while not looking at me as her tears continued to run down her cheeks, “I am sorry Knight… but please promise me… that you will not stray far from the path and be on the path that we set you on. I don't want to see you go down a dark path like I've seen so many others have.”
I didn’t say a single word, but she started to get a little irritated and said once more, but with more of a louder tone, “Please promise me you will listen and do what you are told Knight! Or else... ”
Again, silence was within the atmosphere of the room, to once again Celestia demanded, “Promise us Knight! PROMISE US! PROMISE US! PROMISE US!”
I then said to her while looking down and hanging my head a little bit, thinking of my words to say to her, “You know what… I wanted to keep that promise too… many years ago before you put me here. I wanted to make that promise… a promise that I would be free one day of those portals and keep my promise… but yet you always fear for me and my so called path… never trusted me whether or not I would stay on my own path or stray from it and go down another that you don't like. I thought I understood why you felt that way… but now… now I feel like you’re lying to me with whatever you do to me. Now… I feel you’re keeping my freedom away from me… and while I understand what you want me to do… I still stand here as you being an annoying bitch that doesn’t shut up.”
Celestia then started to get angry once more and enraged from within as I continued to talk. “You never shut up about being proper towards her. You never shut up about being who I am supposed to be to you! YOU NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT I DO AND THAT I SHOULD BE HERE WITH YOU TWO MOTHER FUCKERS! SO HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE AND LET ME LIVE FOR ONCE, YOU IGNORANT…”
Celestia then got to the tipping point and screamed her lungs out. She had the fires of hate and anger in her eyes as she became unstable from my words. She took me with her two hooves, picked me up into the air and threw me into the hallway, in which case I broke a small table with my back.
It had broken into many pieces, some that could give you splinters since it was made of wood.
I was on my back, in pain, but not the worse I had ever been in, not sure what to do, but Celestia came up to me and as she stared down upon me, as tears started to flow out of her eyes, she said to me, “Never… ever… say that again… or else… ”
She then walked away... more specifically… to my left… and all I saw was Luna’s sad face as she wanted to cry. She stood there in silence with her mouth opened wide as if she couldn't express how disappointed she was with me. She had looked like if she wanted to fall down and just die right then and there, for she looked like there was no hope left. She had looked at me with her eyes, as I looked at her with my face that was questioning why she was just sitting there with her sad eyes. I had thought I was the victim, but Luna had thought differently.
She said to me, “I just don’t want us to fall apart Knight… why do you keep trying to drift away from us the more we try to come closer? Why do you keep moving away from the path that we try to set for you Knight? Why? We're just trying to help you is all. We just want what's best for your world and ours. Don't you want the same?”
She then walked away without a single word in the very same direction Celestia took when she left and through the same door as well. She had walked away with despair on her face with a sad frown that I didn't care about too much.
I wouldn't have cared if she had a gun in her mouth and was about to end it all. She walked away with tears in her eyes. I then decided to ignore those two, as it didn’t matter to me. But then, Wolf had gotten up and walked to the door. But then he stopped in the middle as he was standing through the door frame and looked at me with a sense of being drunk from the night before. Although it was kind of strange that he just gotten up like that I didn't notice, but I guess he was silent like that... he was like silent drunk. Anyways, he had a look that he was drunk in his eyes. He didn't look happy or sad or anything like that. He just looked like he was dazed and confused as he stood there, swaying a little bit back and forth, confused where he was at like a dementia patient. He was moving his head to the side, looking out into the hall way and had his back turned to me, ignoring my existence.
I had a curious look on my face, yet as my curiosity was peaked as to what Wolf was doing there. But then that looked slowly transformed; a little part of my brain, not sure where, was getting annoyed by Wolf and him just standing there with his back turned to me like that. It was starting to grind my gears and my eyes started to get that crazy look in it. It was as if something was slowly taking over me, like a metaphorical shadow of some kind as I started to think of how much I wanted to hurt Wolf right then and there.
Eventually I had enough. Somewhere in my mind, it was as if my mind was going to break and voices were going to start telling me to go and grab to knife and do something drastic. So I shook my head to try my best to rid of the metaphorical shadow that was overcoming me. I still had that crazy look in my eye along with a look that said I was not to be messed with, but the naughty thoughts of wanting to harm were temporarily gone for the mean time.
I asked Wolf while still sitting in the pile of broekn, wooden rubble and looking at his direction, "What are you standing there for?"
Wolf then drunkenly turned himself around, while struggling to keep his balance towards me. As he did, he didn't change emotions too much, he just looked like he had just gotten up from sleep and that you shouldn't talk to him until he had his morning coffee. He then looked at me, straight into my eyes like he knew what he was saying despite his illness affecting his mind and ability to stand up straight. That or maybe it was just him drinking last night without me knowing about it.
He said to me with a straight face, "What am I standing here for? I don't know, maybe because you can't learn to keep your shit together. You know you used to be cool and fun. Now you're just a drag. Is it because you're old Knight?"
I then said back to Wolf while squinting at him, "What does age have to do with any of this Wolf?"
Wolf then said back to me while him slightly squinting back at me too, "Oh I don't know, maybe because it's how you're acting right now. You're acting like an old fart whose a buzz Killington. I all you do is bitch and moan everyday with no way of figuring a way to fix your problems. You're starting to turn into everypony else and everybody you and I have ever met. You used to be different and embraced whatever came your way whether you liked it or not. Now you can never shut up for once, have a drink, and relax and have a good time. I might be lazy and be nothing but of magical talking wood to you, but at least I know silence is a valid option. And sometimes all you need is a little drink, and whatever ales you, you'll get better eventually. Why can't you be like that anymore Knight... huh?"
I then said to him as I struggled to get off the pile off broken wooden sticks that was once a table not too long ago, "Are you fucking taking their side too Wolf? Don't you know that they have taken my freedom away from me... they're keeping me inside these walls to keep me from walking my own path... and while I agree that I should maybe change a few things about myself and to improve who I am and all... but not now. Not fucking now... there is too much to do with so little time and they keep me within these walls, within the so called kingdom of theirs.. .you know what? I want freedom... I want it damn it! I WANT FREEDOM! And I'll fucking kill those two if I have to do so... even if it is with my hooves and I get blood all over my face. I'll look them in their eyes and see their souls as I slowly kill them.. .I'm willing to do that to them... just to show them who they are messing with... "
I then started to get up from the pile of broken wooden sticks. As I was trying my best to get up since it did kind of hurt me what Celestia had done to me, I had a deep look of anger in my eyes as me and Wolf remained distant of each other.
I continued saying to him as I was dusting myself off from the little stunt that Celestia had pulled on me, "I know it sounds a little bit drastic, but I just want to leave. I've been here for too long and I need to spread my wings and fly. Ever since they found out, it's been nothing but trouble for me around here. I wish I was who I was that you miss Wolf... I do... but things are different. Times have changed and it is no longer the world that we used to know and love. If TK taught me anything, it's that time will keep moving forward whether we like it or not, and there is nothing we can do to change it. But we can change ourselves and evolve and adapt to it for our needs. And right now, I want to evolve. I want to change if it means getting out of here. Even fi it means going to the extreme edge and breaking those that love us or care for us or whatever the fuck they are to us... as long as they are not standing in the way, I don't care who or what they are."
Wolf then stared at me a little more, letting the silence ring in. No one in the hallway was nearby either to hear us talking. It was the just the two of us, at a fair enough distance. Not a sound was made, not even a cough from a mouse that infested within the walls of the castle. Wofl on the other hand just looked at me funny as his mouth was left open a little bit. He was staring at me as if he was staring at me as I hanged my head down a little bit and rolled my eyes up at him.
Wolf broke the silence and said to me, "Really Knight... do you really feel that way? Pfft... you're starting to sound like him... TK... He's a total drag always bruting and being edgy and shit. At first I didn't believe you made him since you two were so different, but now I see he really is your creation. And that is just... so fucking lame."
Wolf then started to have his dumb smile form on his face again like he had last night. He looked like he was a happy drunk. He even gave me a slight chuckle. But for me, I just had a look that said that I wasn't happy with him. I just stared at him deeply, waiting for him to shut his mouth like he talked about doing.
Wolf continued on while kind of pointing at me with his left wooden paw, "I mean seriously. We're living in a castle. We're living amongst royalty there buddy. Learnt o have some fun with it. IF we can't party out there, we can bring the party over here. We can have any fine ass rich bitch that we want. We can still fly, you just need to look at it from a different angle. And you used to see it that way. That's why I stuck with you this entire time and folowed you around. You didn't just save me from who used to hit me everyday, but you showed me the bright side to every dark side. So what if those two locked you up from something like a fairy tale book that you read a kid at night... take this time to ride Knight. Look at the bright side and have some fun for a change. Not everything is doom and gloom you know, even if it is pretty dark out there. You can always point and laugh and have yourself a ball even when the monster are closing in on you. You taught me that... k buddy?"
Then there was silence once more as I just contineud to stare at him. And from there his little drunk smile disappeared and back to his regular drnuken,m ill state.
He then said to me as he stretched his wooden legs a bit, "Now if you'll excuse me, if no pony needs me... I'm just going to get back to bed. Wake me when someone wants a good time or is brigning me a drink. Otherwise... I'll just try and get better..."
I then stared at Wolf as he slowly walked back to his bed. As he was walking by me, he kept staring at me and then had that drunken smile again.
And for one last remark and kick at me, he said while walking and looking at me back to his bed, "Unlike you of course Knight."
He thought he was being clever when he was saying that to me. And as for me, I just stared at him as he walked across the room and back to his little bed. I was annoyed, irked, pushed to the edge in my little pony brain. I wasn't in the mood for this. And with the lack of sleep from last night, mostly from writing to you guys, I was starting to feel a little bit on the side of cranky too.
I said to him as he walked back towards his bed and he listened to me with his wooden timber wokf ears as they perked up a little bit, "You know... maybe you're not wrong Wolf. Mayvbe you're not. I mean I used to be like that, and I did say those things to you. Those thing s are true. But I just can't see that side anymore. With everything that I have been through. With everything that I have seen. With everything that I have done. With everyone that I have lost along the way... I'm tired of it. And becaus eof that I have changed. Maybe years ago, like a child I was more innocent and saw this world and my world through a different lens. But now everything is just the same. maybve that's just because of time itself. But in the end, it's just the same shit everyday. All it was just the same shit everyday. And whenever I tried to keep my head up in the clouds and have some fun, I just kept being pulled down and down. So excuse me if I seem to be the pesimistic one right now. I've tried being the fun one. But now... even the ones that I know want to keep me down. They are the ones who want to keep me from my own paths and being in my own world."
I then wiped the anger from my face as I rubbed my eyes and gave a deep and long sigh and hanged my head low.
I said to Wolf, "And I don't want you to be one of them at the very least Wolf. Unlike the others, you're at least there by my side no matter what. And admittedly you can help brighten up the day as well. And without you it can get kind of lonely. And I already know that feels and I don't want to be lonely ever again... or else something terrible might happen to me... something that cannot be reversed ever again. But you need to work with me, at least compromise with me or something... and understand how I feel about all of this... ok Wolf? Wolf?..."
As Wolf was about to crawl into his bed, he slowly turned his head towards me.
He then slightly glanced at me with a smile as he said to me, "No Knight... you need to learn and compromise. You need to learn how to live in your world and be in theirs Knight. And maybe... you won't be so alone."
Wolf then got into his bed, slowly curled up into a wooden ball, and slowly covered himself up without a single word. He had a little drunken smile on his face and went out like a light bulb.
I continued to stare at him in silence, slowly watching him fall asleep and thought to myself with a tired look in my eyes, 'Maybe he is right, maybe I am letting this whole thing get to my head and being a Buzz Killington. Maybe I should loosen up and go with the flow of things. But damn it... these ponies are pushing me too far... they're treading on very thin ice with me and if they continue any further towards the breaking point, I might crack and burn them all while I sit there and laugh my guts out. But I mustn't think of such a thing... times are different now, it isn't what it used to be with Craig and Neon and the others... Those times are long gone and are bit of a mere memory in my head. These days however... it's different. But I can't let it get to me. I just need to remind myself of who I used to be before all of this and just be in my own world. So Wolf is right... but... I can't seem to see it though... I can't see the funny and happy to everything. I just can't. I can't see whether or not these ponies should be killed for what they are doing to me... or should be embraced with their ideas for me and and to be good for their world and mine. Screw it... I just need to... not think about it right now... or else it might get to my head and I'll start going crazy again. But then again, I'm already crazy... I need something to eat.'
I then headed out the room while keeping it quiet for Wolf to sleep. I still had the tired look in my eyes and I was ready to just calm down and relax for a bit. So I went out the room and headed to the dining area to eat breakfast earlier that morning. I had turned around and headed towards the same direction the two sisters did, ignoring the mess of the broken table. In fact, I didn't care if it were to ever be cleaned up, it could just sit there in a pile to rot for a thousand years for all I cared.
I walked on the same red carpet path as the two sisters did and went through the double doors that led to another hallway started to the left. I went to the left and eventually was led to a staircase that didn't have too many steps to the third opening on my right.
I went down the steps, one by one, counting the steps in my head as I went down. I could feel the soft and fuzzy carpet on my hooves as I took each step. I eventually reached the bottom and then I had many options for many directions to choose from. I could go left to a set of double doors, towards the center, or to the right.
I had been in the place for so long I didn't need to think where I needed to go. I had to obviously choose the left, as that's where the dining room was held in, while right led to the gardens and the other one led to another set of hallways that would have led to the throne room. Well, it wasn't the main entrance, but it was close though to be grand when you entered through it, but of course, it's not important... for now... I went through the left set of double doors without a thought and I saw the table was already set with my place ready for me to take a seat and enjoy.
Celestia was sitting to her sister on the right side, while my seat was on the left right across from them. I had recalled I always had to look at them every time I had to eat and the thought of having to look at them with me being there alone was kind of awkward in my eyes. Well, I went towards my seat, noticing some guards giving me a stare that meant that I wasn't welcomed to be their friend. Most likely because of last night where I killed one of the guards. But I didn't let it get to me. They were a dime a dozen after all. They just didn't know it. Well, I took my seat which was in the middle of the left side of the table and I had my food already prepared for my morning breakfast.
Neither Celestia, nor Luna noticed me sitting down, so I didn't care and only minded my own business. Luna was eating her food, but I could feel that she was slightly looking up and only taking a quick glance at me. I could still see a few tears coming from her eyes a little bit from a slight glare from the liquid, but it seemed that she was holding back her deep sadness and making a scene.
Celestia, however, was only reading a newspaper and not even caring to look at me. I had no idea what she was reading other than perhaps what happened in the news. I had saw her plate of food and she hadn't even touched it whatsoever, most likely she had lost her appetite after she had dealt with me.
I couldn't understand that, but I was surprised that the place had been cleaned up so fast. Perhaps she had used her magic to clean it up, or perhaps not. Maybe she had to order a new one, I had no idea of course because I didn't stick around to see the aftermath of it all other than the conversation. Although, I could still see the dead body in my mind lying there as the fire continued to rise as I was holding Celestia's dear life in my hands... hooves... whatever....
I had thought to myself while at the table, 'Maybe I should have killed her that night. It would have been good, it would have been fast and easy. By now she would have been leaving me alone and I could just enjoy the silence. But then again, Celestia was right, I would have had the wrath of god here on me for the rest of my days, if I have any that is. I've been here so long I'm not even sure if I can die or I should put a gun in my mouth and try it. Then again, I would have to deal with her in heaven, but at least she wouldn't be this up tight and alarming whenever I step outside the castle. She would let me go on my own path... assuming I didn't piss her off. And who knows, maybe I could try to find a way to come back to the land of the living that way and escape more easily. But then again, I've seen what she can do, she's powerful and if pushed beyond her limits, she can kill me within a blink of an eye. She is keeping a stern eye on me after all and making sure I make the right decisions for this worlds along with me after all, so it would only be fair for her to end me. But that wouldn't happen. I would strike back first and kill her... fast... Perhaps that's what I would do first, kill her first and then kill Celestia and Luna... then there would be very little in my way. What I'm... talking about... it's them I'm talking about? Then again, does it really matter right now? I can sort my feelings and relationships out later, for now, I must eat. I was tired after writing last night.'
The silence then continued to go on and so I had decided to break it with my words.
I had asked the both of them, "So... anything that I must be aware of today?"
Celestia spoke up instead of her little sister and said while continuing to read the paper and making a sniveling remark towards me, "Nothing much, just the usual duties that we must do just about every day. Unlike you of course"
Silence enveloped the room once more and I looked towards the side to think of another question. The look on my face was desperate. I wanted to lighten up the mood, even if it was just a bit. But then again after what had happened, that seemed like it was going to be an almost impossible task to do. But all I could do was give it my all at the very least.
I then asked, "So I suppose I can't go outside and explore Cantorlot?"
Celestia then said in a commanding tone of voice, "You may explore it, but I want Luna to be with you to keep an eye on you as always so you don't go outside the boundaries of Cantorlot."
I then asked, "What about Wolf?"
Celestia then slowly put her paper down and gave me an odd look and asked me, "What about him?"
I then asked her with an innocent, yet wanting to help look in my eyes and face, "Shouldn't we find a way to cure him? I've read in the books when I got bored in your room that there is a plant in the nearby forest that can cure his illness, shouldn't we be gathering some herbs to heal his wounds? Not that I think he'll need it of course. He seems to be doing just fine on his own. I'd thought I'd do it out of kindness and give him the extra boost that he usually needs... you know?"
Celestia then said while giving me the stink eye, "I'll go and gather them myself... later today."
I then asked her while tilting my head slightly to the side and looking curious, "I thought you knew a lot about timber wolves, how come you haven't done this yet?"
She then told me while putting her paper back up with her horn, "Because I have my responsibilities as a princess. But you wouldn't know anything about being a leader, let along taking responsibilities for ones actions... "
I wanted to snap back at her and slap her across the face. But I didn't. I didn't even give a hint with my look as I just sat there, a little bummed out and gave a slight sigh to myself. I hanged my head and my little pony low as well. But then I looked up with eyes filled with regret back at her. and then my eyes went back to having a hint of that crazy in it again, but just a tad. For the most part it still looked rather innocent to most.
I then asked her while lowering my eyelids down a bit, "Well you seem to have a lot of free time keeping an eye on me."
She then said with more of a tone this time, "Well I need to make sure you stay where you're supposed to be at."
I then asked her, "Why can't you just trust me to stay like a good boy hmm?... "
Then she said while getting annoyed with me talking back to her, "Because I can't trust you to tell the truth all the time and you are always reckless!"
I then said to her, "But would she like that Celestia? Wouldn't she want you to trust me and give me a little freedom while keeping me in check back in my home in Stalia?"
Then Celestia finally broke and yelled while slamming her paper down hard on to the table while giving me an ugly look, "BECUSE I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE BEING KEPT ON THE RIGHT PATH OR ELSE YOU WILL FALL!!!"
She had said that as she with such force, ruffling up the paper while doing so onto the table with her angry look staring back at me. The paper was nearly crumbled and I spotted a tear on the left page on the top left. Luna was staring at her sister with a sad, wondering if she would calm down or not from her screaming at me. However, I just stared dead straight into her eyes as she stared straight into mine.
I then spoke up the words and said as I closed my eyes and lowered my head and pony ears back down, "I know... don't say it... don't say what you want to hear, I mean it's not like I'm not stupid, we only had this discussion less than five minutes ago... and clearly I found a way to this place and I'm still not dead yet, so clearly I've done something right."
Celestia then told me, "YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING RIGHT KNIGHT! ALL YOU HAVE CAUSED IS NOTHING BUT TROUBLE! SURE, YOU MIGHT HAVE SAVED MANY LIVES IN THE PAST, MADE MANY FRIENDS, WENT BEYOND WHAT ANYPONY OR ANYONE OR THING HAS EVER DONE... BUT YOU ALSO HAVE CAUSED WARS, DAMAGES TO OTHERS LIVES, DESTRUCTION, MANY ENEMIES THAT WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU ARE ON YOUR KNEES AND HAVE BROKEN YOU FROM THE INSIDE AND OUT AND MAKE YOU WISH FOR CERETAIN DEATH UPON YOUR SOUL... BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY... OUR WORLD! YOU HAVE BROKEN OURS, EVERYTIME WE SEE YOU OUT THERE, WE'RE NOT SURE IF YOUR WORLD AND OURS ARE GOING TO BE SAFE, LET ALONE SAVED BY YOU! AND SHE KNOWS THIS TOO! SHE SEES IT TOO AND JUST WANTS TO HELP YOU KEEP TO THE PATH! AND SHE HAS TOLD YOU THIS MANY OF TIMES BEFORE! AND YET YOU STILL IGNORE HER AND US! YOU MAY BE OVER WAY OLDER THAN US AND HAVE EXPERIENCED MORE THAN US, BUT THAT DOES MEAN YOU'RE A WISE BEING... I'M SORRY TO SAY THIS, BUT YOU'RE AN IDIOT! A FOOL! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE KNIGHT! A FOOL THAT CANNOT KEEP HIMSELF AFLOAT WITHOUT CAUSING HARM TO OTHERS EITHER PHYSICALLY OR EMITIONALLY! YOU HAVE LOST YOUR WAYS! YOUR HAVE LOST OUR WORLD! SHE HAS SEEN YOU LOSE YOUR PATH AS WELL! YOU CONTINUE TO DRIFT AWAY FROM FROM YOUR FATE THE FURTER TIME GOES ON! SO THAT IS WHY WE HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOU, BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN! WE WANT TO MAKE SURE OUR WORLD IS SAFE AS WELL AS YOURS! WE WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT PATH! WE... just want to be both on the same path...with you Knight... "
Celestia said her last words while hanging her head and little pony ears down low and sounded as if she was starting to sob. She then started to cry little tears as she closed her eyes tightly and a tear quietly fell onto the paper. However I continued to have a dead stare at her while having a sad look of my own as well as I had felt Celestia's words. Meanwhile, Luna tried to comfort her and put her right hoof on her back and slightly padded it.
Luna then got up and got close to her and whispered into her ears, "It's ok Celestia, we will be both on the same path as he is, do not worry or fret dearest sister of mine."
Celestia responded with bringing her head back, and I could see the emotion in her face, but as she slowly brought her head up, she slowly dried up her tears and said with a determination in her voice and face, "I know Luna and we're going to make sure of that... I would ask you Knight to make a promise that you will not stray far from us again and won't bring yourself into danger or anything that might bring harm to you or any of us, but I know where you stand. But no matter what your opinion is, we won't let you leave this castle without our permission or supervision and only to certain areas that we approve of. So... eat your damn breakfast Knight... this conversation is over..."
Luna sat back a little, staying still as she watched Celestia got back to reading her newspaper as she covered her face with it. Luna then glanced over to me with a concerned look and then sat back back down to concentrate on eating her food. Then, I heard the dead silence again.
The dead silence had always bothered me, it always made me feel that there was tension in the air and a fight was about to break lose or an argument was about to occur.
It even bothered me in my early years back on Earth. The silence never really settled good with me, I always wanted noise.
I even recall a time when I couldn't sleep without a noise being on, even if there was a little night light by my bed when I was young and afraid of the dark. At least that's what I can barely recall that is. All I remember is the darkness of the night, enveloping me and scaring me. But then a little light was there to show me the way; the better way to a more peaceful place and of good nights. Of course now I could deal with the silence, for silence was my friend. It kept me sane, especially through the tough times when I spent twenty thousand years alone while thoughts in my head started to appear with voices telling me to embrace the darkness from within. I had always remembered that, and when everything went silent in that dining room, it bothered me once more, which I haven't been bothered by the silence in quite sometimes as I recall.
It reminded me of death a little, what happens when humans die I would always ask myself back on Earth. Was there silence? Was there darkness, nothingness? How did it feel, how did it hear? What would I see? Along with many more questions, so the silence was a friend and a foe to me at that time, as I always welcomed the silence at times; Especially at times of great stress came upon me and certain times when I had to complete a task of some sorts.
However, that was besides the point. The point was... I had felt a little unease when I was just hearing the silence in the dining room. No one was talking, Celestia yelled at me and it seemed that Luna didn't want to talk to me whatsoever.
However, at the same time, I welcomed it into my heart. But what I can't seem to understand or figure out was what to welcome into my soul: light or darkness. Either believe what those two were saying was true or believe it to be a lie and kill them and take what I believe is rightfully mine and what I have earned, like a kingdom of some sorts, or heaven or anything of that sort of deal.
When the darkness takes over my mind, the thought does make me think if I could take over heaven and become king. I could hear it now, the people accepting me as their king, 'The King! The King! The King! All hail the King!' And I would just be there, sitting in my throne; in my chair with the crown atop my head, slumped over an armrest, looking bored as ever, but satisfied to the core of my mind.
But then what if I trusted these two, the two princess and god? Most likely, it would be calm, no fights would be had, no arguments. I might even have the privilege to go outside on my own and live in my own home once more back in Stalia. Along with a path to call my own. A path that will set me free from all of this nonsense and noise and let me be on my own for once. Maybe I could be free just like him. Granted he didn't get it so easily, yet he was free somehow, and maybe... just maybe... the same thing could happen to me. I just needed to be free in my own world and be free from their world is all.
Either being on the path that they want for me or being free in my own world, that would be the choice that I would need to make. And I'm sure going outside of the universe would be off limits as well, so it's basically pick my poison. Either become king or become free in my own mind and body while setting the path for myself... Either way... both wasn't me, but my soul had to choose or die, as I would eventually snap and kill anyone that I saw if I am there any longer. But that is besides the point, the point is that I had to make a decision, but I had plenty of time to decide that. I will burn whichever bridge I choose when it comes time for that.
Perhaps a thousand years or even more. Or who knows, maybe I'll try and kill them and my soul ends up being dead and I am forever truly dead for once. I mean I've been dead and resurrected more than once in this place oddly enough, Well technically that is. I'm not sure if you would call it being dead. Yet at the same time going from one place in the beyond to another is technically being dead. So I suppose it just depends on how you see it from your perspective.
But if to say I embrace the darkness that lies within me, I could kill all of them and make them all suffer, but the only question is, what about the Universe itself? The Universe has always been messing with me since the very beginning and it seems to me that it possibly wouldn't want me to kill god herself. Or who knows, perhaps the Universe might be playing dirty and strikes a deal with me and allows it as long as HE can rule along my side. It's possible, but chances are that I would kill the Universe and have complete control. But then again... it doesn't matter, not one bit at all just like everything else in life. Nothing matters in the end. But if I don't do it, I will either blow my own brains out or just accept my fate. But the thing with fate is that it seems fucked up to me. That it will always will be by your side till the exact second that you die. And I don't mean die with your body, but with your soul too. And fate will always be with you, almost making it impossible to set your own path and be in your own world.
Anyways, I had thought that. In which case, I then asked Celestia a question for once that wouldn't piss her off, "So... anything else that you would like to say to me then? Perhaps anything that came in the mail for me or have any special jobs for me?"
Celestia then told me as she was continuing to read behind her paper, "Yes, I have a few letters from your friends from Stalia and I do have a job for you. I need for you to go and drop off a little message that I have for the bar tender that owns the tavern in Cantorlot. Of course I'll send Luna with you to keep an eye on you, but other than that, nothing else. And before you even ask, I'll go ahead and find the materials needed to heal Wolf's sickness. Other than that, you just stay here in the castle and help us when and where we need it... or you can go outside with Luna if you wish to do so. Just don't cross your boundaries."
I then stayed silent and slightly nodded, but she didn't noticed me. It seemed a little rude to me, but clearly she didn't care to have looked at me then this morning. But I didn't let that bother me too much. I just went ahead and moved on with my life. As time passed, I eventually finished eating my breakfast. It took a while, but I finished it. Granted it felt a bit too small for me as far as portion sizes go, but I didn't complain. IT was just a pony thing and being in a pony body. IT's something you guy wouldn't understand.
Every time I complained, it always seemed I would get in trouble with Celestia. But no matter; I finished my morning meal while still feeling a bit peckish for something else, but I ignored it. I got up from my spot and left the dining table without a single word and headed upstairs to my room. When I walked back, not a single thing was cleaned up, granted it wasn't a surprise to me, but I didn't care. It was technically my words that caused Celestia to go ape shit on me. And Wolf is Wolf... he wasn't going to get up and help out even in the slightest regardless if he is sick or not. That's just how he was. And a little part of me wanted to appreciate that.
I had noticed the door was a bit warped, as Celestia did busted through the door very violently and broke one of the hinges. I took a closer look and the middle hinge needed to be replaced. But there was nothing that I could do about it. I didn't even have the tools to fix it. I wasn't allowed to have any, especially deemed by Princess Celestia and Luna. And while technically I do have my magic, I don't really care enough to make or find a spell to do the job. And honestly I just went straight to my little bed, ignoring Wolf as he was knocked out like a light. I headed towards my bed and plopped right on it, face down. I didn't even want to think what would happen next.
And slowly and without notice in my mind as I slowly felt my eyelids grew heavier and heavier on me, I took a short nap. As I slowly drifted away from it all, I had thought to myself was what could possibly be worse than this? It may seem a Brony's dream come true, but to me it's hell in a way. Or at the very least a little personal infinite hell that was in a never ending circle like a broken record. But then again, I don't think my past lives in different universes didn't fare so much better either if I can recall, even with Earth when I used to be there... at least from what I can recall that is. it was hell despite its beautiful sceneries and amazing life forms that inhabited it. So either it was the hell that I am currently living in or the hell back on Earth. And this hell seems to be a better hell than on Earth because with Earth, it's actually scary sometimes while this hell only annoys me to the brink of either wanting to kill myself or kill everyone else. Either way, it was a better hell than Earth by a mile.
Anyways, I slowly drifted into a deep sleep and dreamt of my past with my old adventures with my friends. Of course I'll share those adventures with you all in this current journal of mine. I mean be patient, I know you all have autism... and while I cant jiggle some keys in front of you to distract you, I do have this: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW; look at all of those pretty W's guys.
Especially you Grammar Nazis, you love this shit. You just wish you could shove those W's into the back of the ovens don't ya? Yeah... I bet ya do... just imagine it... slowly. So just wait, we'll get to some stuff later on. Just remember it's all about the journey, not the destination. But for now, for me right now as I write this to you; I'm currently staying with Celestia and Luna. I'm not allowed to leave whatsoever, along with her always keeping an eye on me and not wanting me to hurt anyone else, let alone myself for that matter. Along with that, TK makes sure to enforce their wishes and such and no longer letting me being able to explore the universes. He is a bit of an asshole like that.
The only freedom that I seem to have is writing and all the jokes that I make out of it... perhaps that's why I write this journal of my life? To get away from all of this and make jokes and write my life down and see what could happen back on earth if you humans actually read it. Perhaps because I am bored, I don't know right now... all I want to do is fight for my freedom. Almost like it's symbolism or... something. Perhaps it was intentional... or that I am making all of this all up and that this was all a lie and I'm just in my library back in Stalia writing this because I'm bored. You don't know... you're just going to take a big ol' guess.
Although I can't help but feel an alternate universe me is doing the same thing that I am doing right now, but instead of being trapped inside a castle and making jokes when telling my past adventures or stories or whatever you want to call them... episodes? I guess you can call them that. That makes sense right? I'm not breaking any kind of weird ironic fourth wall by saying that? I mean my existence is what I perceive it to be right? I don't know... whatever you want to call them. Instead of all of that, my alternate universe self is at some dirty, sleazy hotel, drinking his problems away and possibly have lost so much, more than me perhaps. And that he is broken and his world has fallen beneath him and cannot tell from what is right and what is wrong, like helping the poor or someone banging his sisters. And that he's somewhere at a dirty, Latin pony like hotel or something. Or perhaps another where everything is sunshine and farts and we all got together, had one final bout, and all lived happily ever after... and then we get an after show or something. And another that I feel like nothing happens and that life just moves on with itself. Nothing... nothing less...
For some reason I can just feel that, and most likely it is true that such an alternate universes exist... the only problem is... me might be too boring or depressing when the other me's writes the same stuff that I'm writing right now at this very moment... That and I'm willing to bet those other mes doesn't have a phoenix to write his stuff, just writing his past life in a dirty hotel while the sun is slowly setting down upon Equestria. Or somewhere else...like maybe a twisted version of a world gone into the apocalypse. Would hate to be that guy, which I am him, but those are the alternate universes of myself. But it doesn't matter, I can just feel them... feel that they exist, which I'm sure they do, but it's properly my imagination that I can feel their his presence near. Maybe it's just the voices in my head... like ALF. I sometimes see ALF looking at me from the closet, although oddly enough he's looking at Wolf. Then he looks around realizing he's not where he's supposed to be so he then leaves... but then says "bye Willie" and I never see him again... probably just the sleep paralysis demons waking up past their wake up time.
However, as far as I know, it is possible that it can happen, but I have my doubts. And chances are, he's writing their life stories as dark as they can and making no effort to lighten up, but it's a guess. Well, maybe one or two of them can lighten things up and make it a party.
And who knows, perhaps there are even more other me's that have it worse or better, such as being broken by a monster and have to live with a broken back, or even cause an unstoppable apocalypse. Then there could be one where it's entirely random and that we are all fucked, or one that has a an ending that has not end.
In which case, if I could ever meet those alternate universes versions of me, especially the one that has a happy ending... I would say, "You're one lucky son of a bitch... if it wasn't for the sake of me being stuck here and having to do what I have to do in order to keep on the path that I have set for myself and such... I would kill you and take your place instead." But then again, maybe it's for the best that I don't. I mean it might sound better to have an happy ending... but does it really end? Does it forever go in a loop where there is no end day bay, year by year? I don't think so... but still...
But then again, wouldn't anyone else would do that... more or less become jealous and have rage deep from within swelling up and bursting like a bubble. Just someone who wants to have the best version of their life and live it. But then again it depends on how you view a happy ending. All a happy ending is just someone who thinks everything is going to be ok... and those who have it keep saying it to themselves despite it not being a happy ending. It's just a big middle finger that life gives you really, you want it, but that's not life. But I supposed those are the special happy endings. Some I guess end happily ever after... and others... not so much...
As I was saying before I went into my thinking phase. I was in my bed just laying down, somewhere in my mind thinking and reflecting. I eventually woke up, head felt dizzy, wondering what I was doing there and wondering why I was wasting my life. why I didn't just listen to Wolf and make the best of it, or just go off on my own and truly make my own path and make my world a better place for me. And all of this time that I had just been there, all of it was wasted with me talking and complaining like some angst teen that only does it for the sake creating drama and attention. But yet, I felt good somehow, but not sure how good. I mean I always got that feeling, even back on Earth I I think I had the same feeling too. I's hard to remember, but I recall having similar feeling back then from a time that seems like it was eons ago. Hell sometimes it feels like my old life back on Earth was like a dream and none of it ever happened before. But still, I think I had comparable feelings what I had felt then in my bed; feeling like shit, yet not feeling like shit both at the same time. I mean what else am I supposed to do? Is that all life has to offer, if so, then I would want out. Or at the very least out of the path that I am and on to a new path like it was made just for me.
Then of course I would slightly feel better about everything and even about myself. And maybe things like time wouldn't have been wasted. But in the end, it would just keep coming back to me like bad memories of the past that you want to forget, but yet it always come back and you can't help but cringe whenever you remember it. No matter how much you try to look at it differently, it just keeps coming back to you. And you have no choice but to keep going and to remember because those memories are apart of you. There is no end, it's just an endless loop with no end in sight.
Well, I slowly got up from my bed, still on my stomach and looked over to Wolf with my head slight off the bed. I saw him curled up like a little pet that you would have near a cozy little fireplace during the winter season. Wolf still looked a little pale when looking at his body... which was made out of wood of course. Yet he still had that dumb drunk smile on his face. And that was how Wolf. Not even a small little virus could keep him down for him to enjoy a little booze or some weed or even from fucking someone's other cunt. Sure, it may have slowed him down, maybe even annoyed him and make him feel like shit a little bit, yet he kept going regardless was thrown at him... which reminded of what I used to have been and of the stories that I'm telling you all now.
I stared at him in silent, quietly talking to myself and technically to Wolf with a low enough voice to not wake him up, "one day... one day Wolf... everything will be alright... either you'll be dead or we both have good endings to our lives... I just hope we don't end up killing each other... because sometimes... we do stupid things sometimes, and I'm afraid of we are going to kill each other, maybe in an accident in one of the many ways. Perhaps in another way we break up as friends and one of us get so mad that one does something irrational and kill each other of extreme emotions that we should have controlled. OR maybe none of that happens and we just continue to live our lives as good buddies and everyone that we know can come for the ride. Maybe that's what will happen. Maybe... I hope so..."
I then started to give a slow yet hopeful sigh that escape from my mouth. I then looked at Wolf deeply, reached out with my right hoof even though I couldn't touch him and gave a little warm smile towards Wolf.
I continued to say to Wolf, "But even though you're sleeping, I know some part of that wooden head of yours can still get this message... at least think it can. I'm sorry for what I had said to you earlier Wolf. I really am... You're right, I just need to go with the flow and not let anything bring me down and stop being a buzz kill."
I then started to have a worried look on my face. My eyes darted away from Wolf and started to look down in shame. My smile went away as it was replaced by a frown.
I then continued to tell Wolf while he was sleeping quietly, "But a part of me can't help but feel this way. It's like a shadow or a darkness that is slowing overtaking me and my mind and convincing me that I have to go to the extreme in order to protect myself and my world. It's like Black is talking to me again despite all that has happened to him. I know it isn't right, but how can I feel that way without others trying to take control of my world. If the others like Celestia could see that and back off for a moment... and maybe shut up... maybe things would be so bad. Maybe we could all get along a lot better and we would all be fine with what we all have done in the past with each other."
I then turned my eyes back to Wolf. My frown disappeared and went slowly back to a warm smile as I talked to Wolf.
As I talked to wolf, I continued to tell him in a quiet tone of voice, "But still... I'm sorry Wolf. I'll... try to see the better side of things like I used to... like how we were all those years ago. And we have some fun and start having some good times again. I'll try anyways. And don't worry about your little illness that you've got too. We'll get you some medicine Wolf, don't you worry, you'll be up and about just like how you used to be. There wont be any little annoyances to stop you from going out to drink at a bar or catch some tail. You'll be fine... or maybe not. Either way... have some good dreams Wolf... and sleep tight... "
Then I heard a slight knock on my door. I turned my head around slowly, as I just didn't care for who it was at the door. I didn't care and was still tired from my short nap that I had not too long ago.
I turned my head around and I saw Celestia at the door as soon as she slowly opened the door, looking neutral at me, not showing emotions or caring about the mess that was still there. I look at her the same way she looked at me as I turned my ahead around from the bed too look at her and I asked her, "What do you want? Are you still... angry at me or anything like that? Do you want to throw me at another table and start to break my back? Or are you here to give me my freedom back so I can go back on my own path?"
Celestia then quickly snapped at me with slightly annoyed eyes after I had said those last words and said, "Quiet! I don't want to hear that at all from you. You know very well we are not imprisoning you here, we are only keeping you here for your own good. And I am not mad at you... I'm just disappointed that you have not opened your eyes yet and embracing the world and the path that we have given you. But it's alright, you'll learn some day... and besides, I am your elder... "
I then break her off and say to her, "Technically you're my elder, but really... you're not and... "
Celestia then broke me off and then said to me, "And technically you're not smart according to your age. Look Knight, Luna and I are your elders despite the technicalities, and you should show us a little respect Knight... we only want to look out for your best interests and to get you on the right path for this world. We wouldn't want to hurt you or turn into something that we would have to kill. We just want you to be on the path that is the best for our world is all."
I looked at her and just stared at her. Respect. I never understood what that word meant... never in my early years on Earth from what I could recall; not even then I understood what the word 'respect' meant. It sounded like a funny word to me. A word that so many had wanted yet never got any. It's an idea that was kind of hard for me to grasp, yet I knew what it was the entire time. A concept of showing someone something and to listen to them and what they had to say. Yet did they even earn that? Do we even have to do? well, I suppose so if we want to keep the world from burning we do. But still, it's such a funny word, such a weird concept that I wonder who even came up with it. Maybe it was god... or someone else..
Celestia then continued to say to me, "Besides, we're supposed to be taking care of you, just what mother would want for us to do and help our world... but that's beside the point. I came here to tell you the letters from your friends are in my studies. And if you would like to write back to them, which I would recommend, you can do so. I have the paper and ink out for you just in case. As for Wolf's cure, I'll be heading out later this evening to gather the herbs, and if you would like... you may come along, but you must stick with me at all times though. If you leave my site, god help me... I'll do something you will regret, and I do not care what Luna says if she disagrees with it or not. Do I make myself clear?"
I then give a slight nod to her, without making a single sound to her whatsoever and rolling my eyes, as I didn't really care.
She then said to me, "Alright then... and one more thing... I'm wondering if I should make you clean up the mess that was made. Reason why I'm still deciding is that I still care for you Knight and my affection towards you is almost limitless, but it has a line that you seem to always go towards. And of course if you cross that line, I'll either make you pay dearly or kill you without regrets. And besides, you do deserve to clean it up for the way you spoke to me this morning, but as I said, I do care enough for you. So... for now... let's leave it like this. If you clean the mess up, I will very much appreciate it, if not... it's fine. Just make sure you don't get into any trouble, understood?"
I then nodded back to her once again silently giving her a cold stare into her eyes... into her soul. She then nodded back to me, in which she walked away with only making soft noises with her hooves touching the red carpet in the hallway and walking away to get back to her duties. I hadn't realized it, but it was past noon since I had my nap. I got up from my bed and got on my feet... hooves... whatever... and notice something that caught my interest from the window. I walked towards the window without making any noise to disturb Wolf's slumber, not that I don't think he cared too much but still...
I could see out my window that I always use to escape and write my past down that the sun had an orange glow to it as it was slowly coming down to be replaced by the moon. It's one of those sunsets that makes you think that you've wasted time, but yet it is a memory that you will never forget and when you look back on it in ten years when everything seems to have gone to shit in your life, you'll look back on that moment and smile. Then you'll wonder where the time has gone and cry about it and wish everything was going to be ok in the future. It's one of those sunsets that will just leave a mark on you forever and ever.
And for some reason, I gave a little smile when I saw that orange sun going down slowly. I then gave a slight sigh and went ahead and got off the bed. I then just continued to stand there at the windows and be caught by it's gaze and continued to stare at the sun, not directly though. I then noticed before me the landscape of Cantorlot, as ponies were going home while others had just came out to enjoy their short evening that they had left.
I looked it all upon with a frown and thought to myself, 'I remember those days on Earth I think. When something like this would happen... it was sad, but yet memorable to me. I wonder how it would be now if the past were to be repeated back on Earth. Possibly it would end in a bad way, where I'm half dead somewhere on the edge of a cliff and about to decide whether or not to jump off and continue to fight to stay alive. Either way, it's not a good idea to think of such a thing. Besides, I don't need to think about those times, those days of the past. Sure, some good times were had, but most of it was just a waste of my time.'
Then the frown started to disappear and turn into a soft smile as I just continued to stare out the window and look at all the ponies minding their own business.
I continued to think to myself, 'Now, I have a home as Celestia has said to me in the past, that this is my home, where I belong and that this is my path, and she's right I think... This is my path, but not like this. To me, this is torture. I wonder if I should clean that mess up from earlier. Perhaps if I act good for once, maybe she will let me leave and allow me to continue my own path to my own world... or maybe not. Then again, I'm tired of us yelling and complaining to each other today, so I might end up cleaning it up. But I'm not the one for cleaning, so I'll use a quick spell to get rid of it, besides... it was an ugly looking table, so I might as well not even bother to replace it either.'
Then that soft smile that I was then gone. It had turned into a neutral look as I turned my head down slightly towards the ground. I was then in my deep thinking phase in my head.
I then said to myself as I thought it all out in my head, 'However, where I will send the mess to, I have no fucking clue. Possibly to some poor bastard that needs some luck to get on his feet... hooves again. Maybe I'll just make his day, maybe he can kill himself with the sharp piece of wood and cut his throat and end his own life. Then, just maybe, he'll be in peace... that or maybe burning in hell for all of eternity, either way I'll be helping him or her out. Or maybe I would be annoying them. Maybe not though. Well, whatever, who cares, it's like not they will know where it came from, let alone who sent it to them. I have the spell for it after all that I made when I was drunk with Wolf that one time. That all I ever did with my magic was goof of with it, not exploring discovering what it could really due and capping any potential that I ever had with it.'
I then turned my head around from the window and looked right next to me, where the broken table mess was still in the room where Celestia had thrown me at that had not been touched since the argument happened. I look at it with a stare of sadness, as the table was broken out of anger in a way.
However, I had put that thought to the side and went closer to the mess. I stared at it for a few more seconds, remembering why the table was broken. It was out of anger, regret, sadness, loss of hope and dreams, lack of sympathy... all of that was the reason why the table was broken, and I had caused it to happen.
I concentrated my thinking towards my magic and closed my eyes and getting rid of the broken mess that was before me. I fired up my horn and an aurora covered my horn of course. It was always a light color blue as I recall. A slight humming noise also was made when it happened, a humming noise that sounded a bit magical. Something that a child would imagine up when the child thinks there is nothing wrong with the world, but sadly that child would be wrong.
Then as that thought passed my head, a little inner voice that was deep and sounded like Black said in my head, 'There is something wrong with the world. Either with war, disease, violence, famines, riots, serial killers, rapists, hookers, drug addicts, alcoholics... people committing suicide over the fact that their life just sucks and they are brought to a breaking point due to their depression and the pills aren't seem to be working that they were prescribed to. Yeah, that's how it is... that's what the world was back on Earth, sure you have peaceful and a beautiful, well balanced nature, but the dominate ones fucked it all up.'
I didn't know where the voice was coming from. Yet is sounded like Black, yet he shouldn't been there listening to me. Yet somehow it felt like his spirit was still there. Talking to me, still with me throughout these years despite our differences with one another. Yet the voice was what was making me get those mad look in my eyes from before.
The voice continued to talk to me as I tried my best to concentrate on using my magic, 'So really, the kids should be worried that the world that he or she lives in is a fucked up place. And after the kid is told such a thing, then you can just sit there and laugh... laugh until you die or puke your guts out and laugh as the kid has to suffer through it all, as you too have suffered as well. In the end... it's just one big joke... and you just sit there and laugh and laugh until your you slowly die and have a smile on your face as your kid is scared what to do.'
The voice wouldn't stop. It just went on and on like an annoying sibling who wanted to bother you. The voice was apart of me. It wouldn't' let go even if I had tried to think of something else to make it all go away. The voice was deep and scruff. It sounded like it wanted blood. It was telling me a story, a fake one at that to get my mind off of what was really happening in front of my eyes. To skew my vision of the world before me and make me see something else that wasn't there so I could join it and embrace the voice and what it was.
The voice in my head finished off with, 'But don't worry, that kid will end up doing the same like how you did... like child like parent, it's all a joke. That's the sound that your horn is making. It's like a kid's dream being crushed and you're just sitting there laughing away at that kid being fucking mutilated. No body cares about the kid. If the kid didn't survive this long, then that kid is weak. Weak and useless to this world of ours. And yeah... it is ours... not their world... but ours and ours alone. Don't listen to them for one second. Isn't it funny? Aren't you just DYING of laughter? Why aren't you even cracking a smile at that huh? Look happy and smile...'
I ignored the voice though and just concentrated to use the spell where the object or objects, whatever it was that was being concentrated on, disappears to somewhere else. It could be in the water, space, the sun, doesn't matter, it'll be gone. So, I use the spell... and the mess vanishes, as if it never had existed in the first place. And the voice... it was no longer there... just like the mess...
The spot where the mess once was now gone and cleaned up. Not a single piece was still there, it was perfectly fine to walk in that particular spot. And I didn't even know where it went too...
SOMEWHERE ELSE...
Hi it's me again.. Morgan Freeman... didn't expect me again huh? Well of course you didn't cause you're white. And you can't do anything else about it. I'm here to stay, even when Knight is talking about something that had happened not long ago to him.
Really he should be getting back to talking about the past and not focusing on this bullshit. Yet he is and that's probably because he is white. Anything white isn't right. and I can say that because I'm Morgan Freeman. If you're black you still can't say that. I'm the only one who can. I have that special privilege and you don't. So suck it... especially you snow roaches out there.
So while Knight was oblivious to where he had sent the pile of garbage that only a whitey could make, somewhere out in the middle of a farmer's field sat a little house. It was small and kind of cozy. A pony lived there, a stallion you could say. Really I don't anymore since they all ponies look the same to me. Just like the whites.
Well this pony had just spent countless hours cleaning up the kitchen from being a mess... probably because the pony was white and made the mess in the first place. The pony was holding up a broom and was smiling away, looking at a job well done. The pony had a purple coat, a fluffy styled mane and tail, and had a broom for a cutie mark on it's ass.
The probably white pony said as it stood there near the oven, "Oh boy, I'm so happy that I finally cleaned up the place. It took me so long, but I finally did it. It all looks so clean and innocent. I hope nothing magically pops in say a pile of a broken table come and wrecks this place and makes a mess for me to clean up again..."
So the pony stood there with his mouth open... waiting... like a white person would.
Yet the pony didn't see anything. The pony just stood there, even looking upward as if he was waiting for something to come from the sky and fall on him... just like a white person would so he could sue somebody. Yet nothing ever did.
And as the pony stood there with his mouth agape and with a smile still on his white person face, he said to himself, "Well... nothing? I thought something was going to happen. I was sure of it... huh..."
And then all of a sudden a pony came from out of nowhere and opened the kitchen door like they owned the place like a white Jew... too soon? Well this random pony came in and had a brown coat and a straight mane and was also a he I think. And he came in crying and yelled out, "Oh my god! This pile of wood just came from out of nowhere and feel on my baby! It killed him. Why!? Why did it happen!?"
And then the other purple pony looked at him and squinted at him like how whitey would and said, "You luck bastard..."
And that was it. Now if you're confused... you're probably white. And if you're not... well you're not me... Morgan Freeman. Well... that's it for now... Knight will be back once he wakes up that is. until we meet again... and we will meet again... "
BACK TO KNIGHT...
That was weird. Where did that come from? Kind of blacked out again. Oh well, let's move on. I then decided to head towards Celestia's studies to read the letters. Her studies weren't far, same as her bedroom and Luna's bedroom, as they always needed to keep a close eye on me.
It was in the same hallway, so instead of going in the direction through the door to go to the dining area, I just went the opposite direction and headed towards the end of the hallway. As for the door however, it didn't matter. The door could still be closed, but it would be best if the hinge was fixed however. Well, I went down the hallway, not caring about Wolf's privacy since I'm sure he didn't care and not closing the door to the room behind me as I went to the end of the hallway, where a door lied ahead. It was Celestia's studies of course, and on my left was Luna's bedroom with the double doors while on the right was Celestia's bedroom with double doors. Of course, it had to have been double doors, since Celestia and Luna were princesses, why wouldn't royalty have double doors? That and Celestia needed it especially since she had a fat ass.
I headed towards Celestia's studies and opened the door. It was just a simple, wooden door, one to be specific. I opened it up with my magic of course, the same sound, the same aurora, and headed inside, to where I saw how the room was just like in the show that I saw back on Earth a long, long time ago. Yet staring at it earlier, I wasn't sure if it was exactly alike. It looked like it, yet my memory of what it had looked on the show is kind of fuzzy. It was almost surreal being in that room.
There was a fire place on the left, a little area next by the fire to warm up if necessary, a little stand to look at documents or whatever, along with windows to the outside. It was nothing special. Just a normal room for Celestia's work. I had saw the letters that were from my so called friends that were on the stand. There were a few letters to read and I didn't really care what was in them. At least I felt like I wanted to stop caring about them. Somewhere in my head, it felt like they had betrayed me. Yet it didn't feel like that. It felt like they didn't do anything to me, yet I still felt anger towards them. After all that I had done with them in the past, all the good will... just gone in a flash like that in my mind.
Although TK was a different story though. TK was a bit 'forceful' about the whole thing about me staying here. But I guess I'll have to talk about that some other time... I'm sure you don't want to know about that... yet... come on I know what you re all thinking. One of you have to get up and use the bathroom right now. Yeah... you... whoever you are... go ahead... we'll wait for ya.... (psst... we won't wait for them, we're going to continue on now...)
Anyways, I got curious a little bit after thinking about the guys and went towards the stand and saw the first letter. It was from TK and I was a bit surprised, as he isn't the one for writing. At least as how I saw him. He was interested in the dark classics like Edgar Allen Poe and listened to classical music that was deep, dark, depressing, but yet meaningful and shed light on life in a beautiful way that makes you lose all hope within yourself in all life around you.
That's the beauty of it all, it makes you lose faith in life, but yet, you haven't put the gun in your mouth yet, so obviously you still wouldn't have the balls yet to put it in, or your purpose hasn't been fulfilled, or else you would have done it already. Or maybe he was just edgy just the way that I made him out to be. Pick your guess.
Even though a part of me wanted to not open it, I figured that I needed to see. I know it wasn't the best choice to have make despite my feelings earlier today, but I couldn't help but take a peak... just like needing to look at a dead body. You know it's disgusting and wrong, yet if one is right in front of you, you can't help but look because... well it's dead...
I used my magic once more and lifted the envelope up from the stand and opened the envelope. I took the piece of paper, it was only one and it was folded in thirds, with an interesting hand writing that TK had on it.
I unfolded the paper and put the envelope down and started to read the letter
Dear Knight, I'm not the type to write letters. You never made me to be that type. Yet I write to you cause somewhere in me, the way that you made me, I care about you. You're the only one that I care about aside from a slight concern for Factory Dash. I know you don't want to be there, but you must stay there. It is for the best. You must follow your own path, at least for the sake of your own world. Normally I wouldn't care, but I only want what is the best for you. You gave me life. I wouldn't have existed if you didn't make me. And that debt still has to be repaid to you. If you were anyone else I would have killed and gutted you out in front of everyone else to see. But you're not. So I encourage for you to stay where you are at.
I would have visited you, but Celestia is a pain in my ass. She won't let me come near you. Maybe that's for the best. We are on two different planes and live in two different worlds. How you made me still complexes me. And despite all that we have been through together, we are not compatible. And I hope we never are. I'm not sure why you made me to begin with, or why you even gave me the life and the past that you did. But at least I live. But my world is not yours. And yours is not mine. I see how you have grown ever since I saw you were a kid, and I wish for you not to become like me. I know the anger and the dissatisfaction towards Celestia that you hold is similar to my feelings at times. I do not want you turning into me despite the fact that you made me.
You need to be on your own path. You need make your own path. You need to be in your own world. Not the world that others make for you. I won't always be there to save you or be by your side. I have my own to take care of as you made me out to have. It is my own path. I may not have been able to teach you everything, but I believe if the time ever comes you are ever on your own, you can survive. And you can be free. But for now, stay where you are at and listen to her. You may not like her now, but you'll appreciate her in the end. You never know what you have till it's gone.
while you're there, everything is fine. Factory Dash even brings you up in our conversations. And Hell is fine. And while you've been gone, I have taken care of the UU.
A few units have taken casualties, but all is well. And fifty new universes also joined the UU, so the program and army only grows ever stronger. And Factory Dash works fine as second in command and is in charge of the UU in case anything were to happen to me. Other than that, nothing special... although I fear that I have picked up a trail that seems to be TF. I thought he was gone for good, but it seems that his soul still makes me want to rip his soul into pieces and devour it all. I have been gaining a hunger for souls recently. It's been a while. I am unsure of where he is, but I'll find him, I always do. As for anything else goes, I'm tracking all of your old enemies down, especially the ones that you have made in the past. They have been hard to track. I need to find them all. They have started to become a nuisance to the UU and your own world it seems.
Yesterday I was tracking X's soul. I almost had him. I could taste his soul from miles away. He saw me, but I couldn't catch up. There might be something wrong with me, but I'm not concerned of it at this moment. I shall leave you with this Knight; if all goes well and you go on your own path and make your own world a good world, maybe things can be different. Maybe you can return and lead the UU. The units don't seem too keen as me being the one in charge. I don't blame them. But I have no regrets as to who I am. But until that time comes, they'll have to listen to me.
Or if you decide to do so, you can just go back to your old home and let that be your world. That or Celestia and I could have a fight. I can assure you that if we ever do fight one another, it will not end will. It is the reason why I can't come to see you. But I assume she is taking good care of you. And as long as she doesn't take advantage of you or abuse you, I assume you're in good hands. One day we will meet again face to face. And I hope to see you better for it.
Sincerely,
TK
It was a bit odd that TK wrote that. But I did create him, and I should know that. But I suppose my creations know more about themselves than I do. And I'm sure me and him will be seeing each other again. He knows that Celestia can't keep me from him. He's one tough son of a bitch after all. But then again he does have a point about him and Celestia getting into a fight and it not ending well for the both of them.
I can see him going to the extreme and even having to kill Celestia if he needed to. Let's just say he and Celestia had a little disagreement towards each other over the years. I'll savior the details for you guys later, but yet he never had any with Luna. I don't even recall if he even talked to Luna at all. Outside of that, I found his letter to be completely meaningless. Although, it did make me even more angered at him. He has taken over the UU, the thing that I started. I'm supposed to lead it, not him... but then again he was one of many leaders in the units whenever the UU was called upon to take care of a situation. But still, it pisses me off. Oh right... the UU? Well we'll get there when we'll get there. For now I guess you can read in between the lines... hint hint... all there is is space between those lines.
Anyways, I remember when I created TK though, it was back on Earth and... I was bored one day. I can't recall to much from his creation since that is all but a fuzzy memory to me now. But I do recall being bored one day and just envisioning him in my mind. I recall his image being formed into my mind, and then from there I'm pretty sure I just added whatever to his personality and made him edgy since it around that age for me back on Earth. And I just rolled with him as he lived somewhere in my head. I had his story slowly formed along the way as well. But with TK, he is an emotionless asshole at times, aside from anger when ever something pisses him off that is, but yet to me he was interesting in a way as I have spent time with him
The thing was though, I never knew what he looked like under his mask. I never created that part of him, whoever lies under that helmet of his is a complete mystery even to me. Not even a real name, and that's the scary part about it all. What does he look like? You could say I got lazy with that part, but I was more interested who he was with the mask on than he was without it. For all I knew, I could have just made him to be an average joe with the cliché backstory of a super hero. IT just wasn't what I was looking for when I had created him. It just never crossed my mind.
Although, I do know one weakness that he has, but I never used it though on him, nor does he know that I know his weakness. And I think somewhere under the helmet, under his mask, even though I didn't give him one, he ahs a face and a name and maybe even a back story. He is alive after all. But other than that, TK was an interesting person to me. In a way, it would suck to see him gone, but on the other hand... it would be interesting to see him be broken and burned alive. It would be nice to see him broken for once, and to suffer. I want to see the flames of his own doing engulf and eradicate his soul. I want to see him broken from inside and out. He is a light that needs to be snuffed out. He cannot live and...
Oh... my head... feels like there was something going on in my head. Like me hearing voices again... and like... maybe getting that mad look in my eyes. Well, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about at all... I'm sure of it.
Anyways, I sat there finished reading his letter and thinking of things to write down as a response to his letter. I had felt a little depressed and a little sad inside me. I had felt like I had did something wrong, but yet... I knew better not to think that way, but instead, think of the good thoughts and move on with life. And so I did, as I slowly closed my eyes and quietly thought to myself. After giving my mind some time to relax a bit, I then opened my eyes and everything was still the same before me, but I felt different. I felt... I felt ok and remembered what someone always told me... that one day... everything will be alright. Even in death it will be alright. It'll be ok in the end no matter what it is.
And I trusted those words as much as I trusted myself... which was very much, but hey, it sounded cool and philosophical, so why not go with it and say it every time you make a Facebook post or something to make you look like you're some old yet wise person despite you being a drama filled twelve year old and you think the world revolves around you because daddy didn't love you enough.
But a thought came to me while I closed my eyes... what if time didn't exist? What if... time just disappeared? Would we all die? Would the universe cease to exist? Would we continue to live and only show that time is a made up thing and we will still die at some point. Or perhaps we will all become immortals and live forever if time didn't exist. Maybe even gods, I wonder what would become of such a thing if it were to no longer exist. Perhaps time is like that... perhaps we would live forever if it were to go away. No one would have to worry about it again or what time they have to go to work in the morning. Then again I'm just teasing you all with random thoughts and questions to answers for you later... just like life itself.
However, despite all that, it might just be the death of us all if time were to just disappear one day. I wonder if that is the truth to everything. Possibly not, but as what someone once told me that everything will be ok one day... one day... But then again I'm just getting off track here and trying to find meaning in words that aren't really there. They are just empty useless words, yet for someone just like the human side to me, I still need to find that meaning despite there being no meaning at all. And who knows, there might be something there, perhaps something even inspirational to forge a new path for you or I. Ever thought of that? But then again I wonder if what I was told was all a lie.
Well I would hope not. But if that was a lie... then I'll have to rip that someone's head off and feed it to a pack of wolves and have them feast upon the remains. But at the same time, I would be sad and depressed inside, but I would still have the rage on the outside where I would kill that someone myself for giving me a false hope. I was always told of such a thing years ago after I found out tat someone's existence and who that someone was to me... and when that someone ever said that, it had put a smile on my face and I thought that someone was right. I'm not sure if that someone is right or wrong, but if that someone is wrong... I'll make that someone suffer.
I'll make that someone suffer deeply for it, physically and emotionally. However, that's just what was going through my mind as the little voice that sounded like Black to me, telling me these thing and giving me these ideas and feelings. However I kind of knew I needed to shake these feelings off of me. I knew if I just didn't think about it, it'll be alright. But of course that's easier said than done, but in the end I didn't think about it.
So I put TK's letter down and put it back in the envelope. I had thought and wondered if I would write him back. I decided not to, as I didn't feel like pissing him off or talking to him. I feel like I had lost touch with him and I was no longer connected to him such as creator and creation. It felt like we were slowly being cut off from one another and one day he was going to stop talking to me altogether... just like how TF was kind of...
I then opened the next letter, it was from Craig. I hadn't talked to him in years, it was an long time since I had seen him. In fact, the last time I saw him was... a long time ago, for me at least. But I'm sure it wasn't that long for him and I was sure he was doing just fine like always. I had wondered how he got to send a letter to this universe, but then I remembered Neon. He would be able to do that alongside with many other things as well. I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.
It was also folded in thirds, but it's most likely due to the fact that he was starting to get a little fancy a little bit since the last time I saw him. I opened it up just like TK's letter, and his letter was typed. Then again, it was the future back on Earth, where writing was considered to be sort of primitive in a way. I mean it still existed, but only if you lived in the South where they do it by candle light. The Yankees up north had all the fancy technology they didn't want to share like always.
But don't count the South out just yet. They have one thing still that is more efficient than that fancy technologies. And it's all natural too. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, it's what the South owns and it's what gives them their strength. IT's like having a little, personal army too since they own this. And it's all black and from Africa. Yeah, I'm talking about Tesla's, the Southern Edition where it runs off shit from the swamps. What else did you think I was talking about? Blacks? I mean there was NiggerPower in the 1800's but that shit is inefficient. Technology is and robots is more efficient. Well until the robot starts becoming self aware and start demanding their civil rights. Then it'll be up to the human race to kill robot MLK before they get too cleaver. Hey, don't make what you can't kill. Just saying... kind of learned that the hard way myself.
Here's what Craig McCracken wrote me:
Dear Knight,
It's been a while Knight. We haven't seen each other for a in a while, it feels like it's been forever... well more like five months for me. For you, I don't know... maybe a few thousand or so years. Either way it's been a while. I thought that maybe you and Neon could come back over here and we can hang out or something. But I was told that you were not available to come and do something. I don't even know why. I asked Neon but he didn't say anything to me other than you can't come out and play. That sucks. Hope you're not grounded or anything.
Well while you were gone, me and Neon hanged out and stuff. We even had some of our own adventures like going to Peru to find an ancient tablet. Then another time we went to Venezuela to laugh at all the starving people. Then we went to Africa to watch the flies fuck on the African's faces while they starve. And we went to Afghanistan to watch it fall for the fifth time in three months to some cave people with AK's. It was magical, you should have seen it! And I know you would have loved to see the cheese eaters get their heads chopped off. Europe is starting to become a magical place now with lots of variety.
And then Neon took me to see Canadians to get cucked again over and over and over as they say their sorry. And then he took me to the mythical land known as the Ukraine. Neon told me it was known as the Atlantis of Riches. Neon told me that it used to be a place filled with gold and jewels and every nation used to go there. And something about it being safe for the gold too so other countries put their gold in it too. But then one day it all vanished and all of that nations who had their gold there weren't happy. And Neon says the place went into legend like a Ghost... that never existed and it was nothing but virtual reality. And now where this mythical land is just Russia. But that's just fairy tales. But a good one at that.
Anyways, aside from Neon taking me to places, I haven't had much else going on. I am still running the company. And just so you know, it's going well and better than how HE was running it. But it's all boring stuff and I just want to get back to how we had it back when it was just you, me, and Neon. We had a blast then, but ever since you can't come over, there's nothing to do now. And Neon is just sending dead bodies to random places. It's so boring here without you.
I asked Neon if we could even break you out some how and so we can go out and party together. But all he did was just make chickens appear and now I don't know what to do. I do have my wife Lauren but... she's no fun. She won't let me do anything fun and she is always busy her show. She's not even fun in bed anymore either. I even waited for Santa Bunny to come but he couldn't anything either. Being able to run a company is cool and stuff but it's no fun when I can't have any fun at all. I wish didn't get this stupid job in the first place. Well, I guess I'll have to end it here then buddy...
Write me back if you get the chance... I wish I could see you again even if it is in that pony universe of yours. I know it's weird to be in that place and it didn't feel right the last time I was there, but at least then we could hang out I'm sure. But I got a question for you when you do write back to me. How are you grounded? And why are you grounded? Did you do something really bad? And if it's embarrassing, it's ok buddy, you can trust me. I promise to not tell anyone but the mail man when I send my letter back to you from the letter that you will be writing back to me.
From one of your best friends that misses you,
Craig McCracken
I was stunned to see those words, but only on the inside. I had almost forgotten about Craig, he was a good friend, and I will not forget that. Perhaps he would understand my situation and would agree with me to not be held captive by Celestia and Luna. But then again, he isn't a god, so he doesn't get to decide my fate. And he is in his own little world so I don't think he would understand either. However, unlike TK's letter, I was going to respond back to his letter, as it would feel right to do so. I mean he seemed like he would be worth a response back to that wouldn't feel like it was all for not. At least then it would feel like I would have a pen pal thing going on and that would maybe keep my spirits up.
He was the one that was kind of full of life. I mean perhaps not one hundred percent full of life, but he certainly had the spirit within him. It was weird how little interactions that he had with his wife though. He was a full grown adult and all. No kids though, but I'm sure if he did he would be a great papa and nothing would go terribly wrong. Key word here is being terribly. I never said nothing would go wrong. But still, he still felt like a friend to me that didn't treat me like a child and continuously say to me about muh path and muh fate and muh destiny and shit... over and over and over...
But still, it felt like he would know a thing or two about life itself perhaps. Maybe he would even know about the consequences about even trying to recreate the past. But then again maybe not. But regardless of such, it had put a little smile on my face when I read his letter. Somewhere on the inside, it gave me a little warm feeling knowing that someone out there was missing me. I mean he wasn't the only one, but still, he felt like the innocent one, even if he was a bit off at times.
In any other case, there was some papers next to the letters that Celestia provided for me in case I wanted to write a letter to one of them. The quill was by the ink and there was a fresh piece of paper next to the letters. I decided to reply to it and grabbed the quill with my magic, put it in the ink, and started to write with my magic guiding the quill.
Dear Craig,
It's been a while since I've last seen you. Honestly, I'm not sure how long it has been for me. I've stopped counting the seconds on the clock. There's just too much going on for me to even care. If I die... I die... without counting how long that I lived. I wouldn't mind spending time with you at the bar or going on some random adventure if it came down to that... but I think there isn't much for me that I can do about that sadly. But don't let me stop you from having a good time. If Neon is there (and he doesn't plan on smothering you in your sleep) then by all means, go out and see the world and find all of those mythical places while you're at it. I'll just... stay here for now and wait it out. And who knows, maybe I will need you to come over and break me out. But for now... I'll just try to keep my cool. I think it might be for the best right now.
Speaking of Neon, it sounded like he took you to a lot of fancy places. Usually I wouldn't care if he did since that's what he does every now and then. But uhhh... I think I wouldn't mind going to that mythical place known as the Ukraine. It sounds like a bunch of bullshit and... shit... like a... bullshit mountain of sorts and I really don't believe in those kind of fairy tales, at least not for Earth that is. But it sounded like a nice fantasy to think about. And Europe huh? Sounds like things are getting crazy over there. Next thing you know, you're going to see headless naked French babes on the beach. I'm sure adding a fourth hole wouldn't be all that bad for them though. Although Africa doesn't sound all too fun though. That just sounds like a regular day that ends in y for Africa since the beginning of time. But feel free to tell me of some other adventures that you might have with Neon in the future.
And yeah... I know what you mean about running a company. I did that once... by mistake... and uhhh... it ended with me time traveling... it was a small thing but uhh... I'm sure Neon told you all about that already. And if he didn't, maybe I'll tell you next time we're at a bar or something.
Other than that... to answer your question...It's a long story... I wouldn't know how to put it in words to you of what I have done to earn my little punishment. Well, if you want to call it that. Celestia and Luna doesn't call it that, but to me it feels like a prison or something from a fairy tale where I'm trapped in the highest tower in al of the lands with no way out and nowhere to go but down to my own death. To simply put, I'm stuck... and I've got nowhere to go. Although to clarify, it was nothing embarrassing. It's just something that I am forced to do. You wouldn't understand. But even if it was, I probably would tell you.
Sincerely,
Knight
I had ended just like that. I then picked up the paper, but only folded it in half. I wasn't like the professionals and folded it in thirds, nor did I ever found that to be a good idea, but it's fine. It's just paper, as long as it's readable, who cares? Tony might. But Tony is a bum. He's not even a real Italian. I then went to get an envelope, but I didn't see any nearby.
It was most likely that Celestia didn't have any around. So I looked around, started to scan the room, looking for an envelope. I looked for a while and couldn't find any, but I then spotted some lying on a desk filled with other important papers that had seemed to be important to her. I walked over to the desk, which was located near a window. I took the envelope and put my letter in it, along with taking the quill and signing the front.
Afterwards, I looked out the window, the sun was somewhat getting lower and lower, the day almost wasted for me. It made me depressed in a way, but yet happy... I'm not sure, just... had mixed feelings I suppose at that time. I continued to look out of it and just wondered why I was standing there, but I decided to ignore the thoughts in my head filled with thoughts of the past and got back to what I was doing.
The letter was ready to be sent, so I took it back with me to the stand with the rest of the letters. I looked at the stand to see how many letters that I needed to read, and I needed to read three more. One from my friends in Stalia, one from Neon separately from the other guys, and the last one being from an alicorn that I should maybe explain to you... but I won't so we can build some suspense... oooooooooooooooo scary... or is it?...
I opened up the letter from Neon first and... and when I took it out, it was put in the envelope as if it was stuffed in without a care as if someone was in some kind of rush to get it in there; it had Neon written all over it. I opened it up, and as I looked at it, it was decent and readable at least and this is what it said:
Dear Knight,
How's it going buddy!? It's been a long time since we stabbed a few chickens together. Well I'm busy at home with the kids that I took from the island of Gruam. They wouldn't eat their vegetables, so I shoved it down their throats and they started to suffocate... it was a funny joke. I sat their laughing and we had a great time playing how to breath! I won!
I took a picture and stuff, but I can't seem to get the pictures developed properly because I accidently rapped the developer's wife... Alice... by giving her a pancake head and shoving an umbrella up her asshole. And then I killed her youngest daughter and son with the umbrella by shoving it up their assholes too... but it's alright, it just means they can go to heaven. until they won't! Then they belong to dog Satan forever and ever! And then to me! the Hamster Satan will get the remains. So how's it going Knight? Been a while since I've seen you... I don't like that one bit...
How about brunch sometime? I can kill a bunch of live lobsters by strangling it was onion rings while a cow sings a beautiful opera piece that means a demonic possession of the ages. How about that Knight? Or maybe we can have a walk in the park and we can both take turns sawing a troll in half to get the troll gold out of him.
And then the bottom half of it will do the Charleston chew and rocket up to the moon. I'm going to eat a cupcake now... bye Knight... hope to see your reply soon...or else William Defoe will end up dead in your bed again!
Sincerely,
Neon Party mother fucker...
It just seems what Neon would say, he seemed to be the only one not affected by anything other than his secrets he wouldn't tell us over the years. To me... that made me sort of happy, because everything else has changed. It's sad in a way, and not many can deal with change in a good way. I had thought about writing a reply to Neon, and the thought was decent enough. So I grabbed another piece of paper out with my magic, put the quill in the black ink, put all of my thoughts on paper and wrote this:
Dear Neon, You're an insane fuck up that needs help... never change... no matter what anyone says... I just don't know how you do it. Then again, after the many years we have been together and all of the adventures that we have been through with the guys. I think I've figured you out. But then again... I don't. Honestly I don't even know you that well despite all of the time we have been together as friends. You're just one in quintillion for who you are.
I mean, me and the other guys, we're the same but different in our own way. In other words we're sane. But for you Neon... you're insane. And I've said it plenty of times, and even in the journal that I'm writing. And I know you don't care what I'm saying to you right now because you are who you are.
Speaking of which I'm writing a journal about all of the things we have done. Don't ask why I'm doing it... I'm just kind of... bored here and figured it would be a good idea to do it. I'm not sure who's going to read it for sure though. Although I think other people back from Earth are going to be the ones who read it. And for me that's good enough. But even then it could still go somewhere else. But at least the stories and everything else will get archived in some form or another. And who knows, maybe whoever reads it will come search for me or something. And maybe I can get out of this place faster... am I right? No?... whatever.
You know, the good thing about you Neon is that you're easy to talk to. I can say almost anything to you and you just absorb it and you become oblivious to it all, even with writing this down since I'm sure you'll feed this letter to a cow or something. Granted, I'm sure you're not an idiot. I'm sure some where deep inside your mind you're somehow processing this information and these words this very second that you're reading right now. And right now, you or even someone else is thinking about it in a different light. And you know something that I don't know... and probably will never know. and perhaps even deeper down you don't something but yet the inner you knows that you or I will never know. Either way, I know that you know something that I don't know, and despite all of that... you're the best to be with... sometimes...
But whatever. I guess I shouldn't look too deep into it. I'll just throw myself off and start being confused as to who you are or what I am even by that point. So let's just continue huh? I'm sure you doing good with the Party Store. And I hope the others are doing fine as well. I'm doing fine here myself... just... kind of trapped where I'm at. I would ask you to come break me out, but I think you would only do that at your own accord. So I guess I can't rely on you to coming to pick me up or even breaking me out to do something with you. Well that's fine... I don't think you even understand what is even going on with me. You're just in your own little world doing you. And I can't complain about that either. So just know that everything is "fine" with me and that there is nothing to worry about. Although I haven't felt the greatest in a long while. Not sure why, but maybe because it's the rules that I have to follow or something.
Whatever, I'm just talking to myself by that point. I should say that Craig also wrote back. You took him to some pretty wild places. Even the mythical place known as the Ukraine huh?... Well, I've got to tell you that... I already know about the Ukraine. And that shit just isn't real. That's just a bunch of fairytale shit. Hell, I'm sure you came up with something random to go along with it didn't you?
Oh well, even if it is all fake, it sounds nice to go out and see the world like that. I mean I've seen the universes but uhhh... going to a place like that sounds like it would be fun. Wish I could go out and do stuff again. But as wolf told me, I'm going to try and give this whole thing another shot and perhaps another perspective. You know? So when I say don't worry about me at all, I mean it. Just don't about the voices that are inside my head right now, just worry about the bodies that will come after. And who knows, maybe that's the voices that said that to me... or not...
See, I can be secretly too you know?...
Sincerely a bored friend of yours,
Knight
I then put the letter on the letter that I wrote for Craig, since I decided to do it later to put it in an envelope. I then opened up the next one, the one from my friends. When I took the letter out, it was a typical letter, nothing special about it. It read like this:
Dear Knight,
Hey there buddy, it's Arrell writing this. I figured we would all take turns writing you something. I tried to get Neon to write his but he just uhh... ignored us and did what he usually does. So I'll go first. How's it been? I understand you can't come back to Stalia. And from what I've been told it sounds like they have you held tight up in there. I would try to come and see you but the animals are getting a little restless for me, especially for my new creations, they don't stop screaming in pain. So I have to take care of them or they'll try to kill themselves again.
But not to worry. With you gone, I've been holding the other guys together. And so far I have been a great leader, certainly with no ISSUES going on with us right now. DON'T WORRY about a thing, we have it all TAKEN CARE OF. And while you were gone I even have taken the job of making sure that everypony is SAFE and surely no pony has DIED on my watch. Trust me, even the mares are starting to notice and I've got their attention.
So don't worry about a single thing. Just do whatever you got to do over there and come back as soon as you can. the other guys misses you. And I have certainly missed you. And I hope everything is going well for you over at Cantorlot. For me personally I'm still having trouble with those squirrels. One day I'll get them... one day...
Well aside from that, take care and I hope to see you soon one day there buddy.
What up dickwad, it's me, Jack.
Arrell said I had to write this to you. I didn't want to but he said he's the new group leader or whatever. I didn't know we had a group leader. I thought you all just listened to me or you all just went off and di your own thing. If he wasn't my friend I would take him on in a fight and beat the ever loving shit out out of him. I totally would do that. But whatever I guess. So how's it been?
I heard you're stuck. Since you're a friend and all, I'd help you out, but I don't want to mess with the two royal sisters after all. Look, I know you'd be asking me to come over there and begging for my help. But I'm sure you've got this. Hell I've seen you. I know you can do it. Besides... I have to keep up appearances. They don't call me classy for nothing. And that's because I make them. Even that faggot Forrest knows that.
Arrell I said I should give you updates on what's been going on the outside. There isn't too much to say though. It's been kind of boring around here without you. Although speaking of Arrell, he's not much of a leader. He's a fuck up. At least you didn't steer us in the wrong direction. All Arrell's been doing is telling us to listen to him and that he can lead while having mental breakdowns and smothering his animals. He's a real bastard I tell you. If anyone should be leader, it should be me. I can toughen up the Elements and when you got back, we would be ready to take on anything. But Arrell, he just seems how do they say it, incompetent? Even after researching books from your library on how to be a leader he still doesn't know how.
Well I could say more but this is the least that I have to write so I'm done. I think you get the message loud and clear though. So see you around Knight.
Hey Knight, it's me Forrest!
I've missed you. I was wondering where you were. I asked Arrell but he said not to worry about it and just to listen to him in the meantime. But every time we do, it just kind of goes bad. Like real bad. Some ponies got hurt even. But Arrell just said not to speak about it and not to say anything to you. So I guess I can't say much about it.
But you know what I think what's going on? You're planning moving to Cantorlot and I think that's just great! Well, I don't know for sure and you can correct me if I'm wrong when you write back to us. You will write back to us right? Well, I'm sure you will. And when you do, you can tell me everything. Where are you moving to? When you send for you things? Will you come back to visit us? Can we visit you soon? I want to know it all.
If I'm being honest here, I'm kind of jealous. I mean don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with Stalia. In fact I like it here. This is where my friends are and where I grew up at kind of. I wouldn't want to change that for the world. But living in Cantorlot in a high class town like that? That's gotta be something special. I just thought we would all have stayed in Stalia is all. It is our town, a special little place amongst the shadows. But it's fine. I'm happy for you. I just wish you would have told us that you were doing this. but it's ok I guess. Just don't forget your friends because no matter if we're close or apart, we're still together in spirit.
Oh, and while you were gone. Everything has been going fine... aside from Arrell that is. But everything is fine. And I have keeping an eye on your place just in case and there isn't anything wrong. But still it isn't the same without you and I wish you can come back soon. Maybe when you write back you can tell us when we can hang out together. It would be great.
Well I've got to get going now. I hope to hear from you real soon Knight!
Hello? Is this thing even on? Wait I'm writing this? How the hell is that even possible? Is this some kind of fancy unicorn thing that I don't understand? What is this Arrell?
What's that? I'm writing? And I'm writing down everything that I'm saying? What kind of fucking bullshit is this? Just say what I want to say to Knight? Ok then... you weirdo...
Hey Knight! It's me! Your good ol' pal Mac!
How's it been ol' buddy! It's been a while! I thought once you disappeared on us, Applejack must have had something to do with ya. But then Arrell then told me you weren't and that you went away for something. And then I got a little sad, don't tell anypony else that. I mean who else is going to join me and try and finally dethrone Applejack? The other fellas aren't fun. Neon would do it but... he wouldn't even pay any attention to me.
But I did hear something about you being in that fancy ol' place in Cantolot. What the Neon hell is going on over there that you can be here right now?! You better not be going all fancy on me and ditching us to join some high class society over there. Or else I'll have to do something about that! and I don't want to! Come on... I'm your buddy Mac! You know me! How could you!? How could you leave us alone like that like how my pa and ma left me! How dare youuuuuuuuuuuu!?
What's that Arrell? You're telling me to wrap it up now? Ok then...
Ok then Knight, sorry but Arrell is telling me to stop doing this fancy writing thing. I wish you were still here. Uhhh write back to me if you ever get the chance and explain to me in the blazing Neon Hell the fuck is going? No pony is telling me diddly dick! It's crazy over here without you! Although while you are gone, Arrell and I did some funny stuff. You should have been there to see it. It was great! Even Arrell is crying tears of joy over it. Well bye Knight!
Wish best wishes,
Your Friends in Stalia
P.S. Ignore Mac's request please. Don't tell him, he'll flip and won't understand. And ignore Forrest, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Everything is FINE.
It seemed to decent to me, but I couldn't help but feel weirded out when reading it out in my head. Somewhere in the letter it just seems to me that they were trying to give me a hint that Arrell wasn't doing a very good job without me. I don't know, could you tell that something was off? I really don't don't know. It sounds like they are doing fine, yet at the same time I don't think they really are. Hmmmmm I don't know about this guys? Do you think I should write back to them? Do you think I should say something about how it seems like they are not doing ok without me? Did that bitch Blue leave me that clue in there or is that Blue just saying that she is in heat and is trying to leave a call sign cause she is a slut? Does that bitch Blue even have my money? I'm the pimp daddy after all and she isn't even bottom bitch. Hmmmm let's think this one out guys. Are the guys back in Stalia lying to me? Should I do something about it?
Should I kill them all? Should I rip out there guts? Should I stop with just them or should I keep going? The voices continue to grow. They never shut up. The never have shut up once. Not once in their small, pathetic little, meaningless lives have they ever learned to shut the fuck up. Maybe it's time they are taught a lesson. Maybe it's time to stomp their voices out like a light. That's the problem with this world and others. They never shut the fuck up for once. They never let silence in their minds. They have to keep blabbering and blabbering over and over thinking it means a damn thing. But in reality, it is no more than screaming into the void. None of what you say matters. It is a waste of breath, a waste of life. And yet they think it matters. And so they start to grow and ego that makes them think they are some kind of hot shit. They think they are superior to others in their thinking. And they don't shut the fuck up about it. All of them need to shut up. Every voice needs to be stomped out to let the darkness of silence ring its truth...
I'm sorry... did I just blacked out again? It felt like I was starting to get that mad look in my eye and a mad feeling to go along with it as well. I'm not even sure really. Oh well I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about at all. I'm fine. Just fine... But it's weird though. It's not even the usual black out when it feels like Morgan Freeman just waltzes on in and takes over. You know, it just feels one of those moments. Oh who gives a shit? It's nothing or you guys to worry about it. Anyways, I decided to reply to the guy's letter, so I grabbed out another piece of paper and took the quill to refresh the ink. I put it in the bottle of black ink and started to write down my new letter to them:
Dear friends,
It's been a while hasn't it? I didn't expect you all to reply all at once. It seems weird to me but I'll try to respond to you all the best that I can.
So first of you Arrell? Look, you can cut the crap Arrell. Look, I might not be as smart as you are some of the time, especially since I wasn't the one that read the books most of the time, but I can take a hint, which is something you're terrible at. I know something is going on over there and that you're having a horrible time keeping up with things without me. That's not to say things wouldn't have descended into chaos if I was there, but still, I can do a better job at this than you. Hell, some would even say I was made for it... even though I don't have it in me. But yeah... I should be worried. Also I got Neon's letter... it was just Neon being his usual self like always. Just... don't burn the place down before I get back. I swear I'm going to come back... one way or another. Just... don't worry about it ok? I'll be there in Stalia again.. one day... just give me some time is all. I'll fix what I have to fix and I'll be back soon before you know it... I hope...
Now to you Jack. I don't know what to say to that but uhhh... sure... whatever you say there pal. Although if I'm being honest here, you wouldn't make a good leader. And I can say that because it's my opinion between some words written down on a piece of papers and several hundred miles or however far it is between here and Stalia. I don't know, I never checked. It's just a lot of space between me and you and your fragile little ego of yours. Yeah I said it, what are you going to do about it Mr. tough guy? That's right... nothing... but even if you could I'd kick your ass... maybe... Oh well take care. I'll see you around later too.
Now for you Forrest. Uhh... not sure how to tell this to you. so I'll try to be as blunt and simple as possible for you and then leave you hang to dry because... well you're you so... fuck you...
No, you're being stupid, I'm not moving to Cantorlot. I would never would want to leave Stalia just because I'm away for some personal business. You're stupid for that. And you're a faggot for it too. And you can tell Jack that I stole his bit too. And while you're at it, you can take one for the team as you take my hit for me as he takes his anger out on you.
But you are right about one thing though. Stalia is our town. And I or any of you guys shouldn't leave it for the world. Well maybe you should leave to explore, but never forget how special it is in our hearts and what it means to be a Stalian. In a way, it makes us who we are... on the inside... where the arteries are at. And maybe the kidneys. Either way, I'll be back, don't you worry.
Also, you are a little bitch.
Now finally for you Mac. I could tell you the same thin that I said to Forrest but it would take too long writing it in a letter for you and I know you can't handle that. So I'll simply speak your language.
No I'm not leaving you to join some fancy high class society. In fact it's the exact opposite. I've been taken against my own will. And Applejack is behind it. But don't be a hero though Mac, it's too dangerous for you here. Applejack and her goons have me... tied down in a weird BDSM dungeon, and draining my energy with her evil mind powers. And she is also sending neutrino beams to my head, trying to convince me to join her side. But I won't do it though! I won't let that happen! I would rather die than join her evil side.
So whatever you do Mac, stay where you are! I know I could use you and your Applejack expertise knowledge to help me get out of here, but you mustn't! Or else you will... diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie... Don't worry Mac, I will break out of here one day, even if it kills me! And if it does... than remember me... as your friend that sacrificed himself for the greater good. Oh no... Applejack's goons are coming back to get me to torture me some more and shove her apples down my throat. Only if I had your apples Mac. I miss them. No... no... GET BACK YOU FOUL BEASTS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!...
P.S.
I know you've probably killed someone already. Just... stop panicking and we'll bury the body when I get back along with the evidence... I would say ask Neon to do it for you but I'm not even sure about him anymore.
I miss you too,
Knight
I then put it in the pile to get more envelopes for. It had seemed the only one I didn't reply to was TK, yet it didn't feel like that I needed to reply back to him. It didn't feel like there was anything there to reply to. What was said was said and TK kind of left it off at a tied up end. That's how TK was, or how I made him out to be. Everything felt complete with him, even if it didn't seem that way with him all the time. Granted it would have been rude of me not reply back to him. But at the same time... I don't care. And even if I didn't, what was he going to do, kill me? I mean he could try, but when everything is accounted for, it is not possible for him to do so. But what if I wanted to kill him? Well... there was a slightly more possible chance of that happening, but that's something else.
However as far as replying to TK went, it was beyond me. Besides, what would have I even said to him? I'll see you later? Who knows, TK isn't the easiest to talk to. I can talk to him because I made him. But it felt like we were slipping away from each other and that he was going off on his own path, breaking our connection between creator and creation. But, I'm getting off track here.
Anyways... I then looked at the last letter and decided to grab it... it was from someone who I knew before, after I met her. It was another alicorn that I didn't really get along with, but he was alright. In fact, I didn't see him in a long while, but not like with Craig or Neon was... with this alicorn... he was somewhat of a guy that I knew that wasn't really a friend, but willingly enough to be friendly to. But at the same time, he was kind of a friend, but a distant one at that. It's.... complicated like everything else in life... let alone my life for that matter... I opened the letter and the paper was all wrinkled up, but mostly because this alicorn wasn't living the high life. He was living in an isolated place that's more or less of a dump because he isn't part of the group of alicorns that get paid the big bucks to rule over some kingdom.
Granted, in this universe, alicorns are mostly seen as to be respected, as they seem to live forever, although I never figured that part if they really lived forever or not. Maybe if the alicorns are made, maybe they die, or maybe not. And besides, this guy was somewhat of a douche to me when we first met, but we slowly improved our relations with each other to a somewhat of a decent status that would be considered just two guys that know each other. I opened the letter and it read this:
Dear Knight,
It was hard to find where you were. I never knew where you lived... and they wouldn't tell me either about you. But then again, they were always careful to say anything towards me, especially her. I guess that's what you get when cross them.
That and she is still angry at me... although I do believe we're slowly healing our relationship. Who knows, maybe we can put both our differences aside, look the other way with what happened with the both of us and... start over again. Maybe after a few years and the wounds are healed, maybe I can ask her to maybe reconsider some things and make things again what they once were. And if something's get rough... we will work it out like how we're supposed to. That was something I didn't realize back when we knew each other in the beginning... that we were supposed to just talk it out and not let anything get in our way. But I was too stupid to see it and let the worst get to me and I ruined everything between the two of us. And I'm still sorry for that you know?
And if it works out and we get get back together... again... well, you know what that means and I'm sure you and I will be fine. Anyways, it was hard enough for me to track you down, let alone trying to write this letter to you. I'm writing because of two things and hopefully you can understand. The first thing is... well I just want to know how you are doing?
Second, I would like to thank you for what you did for me when we first met. I knows I was in a lot of trouble and while I wasn't appreciative then towards you... I'm thanking you now... I'm not much for politeness, even though I'm supposed to be an alicorn or whatever. I was never meant for that life. But I still feel like I owe you one for what you did for me. It was very... kind of you... and I guess that makes us friends? I don't know... I've never had a friend before. Hopefully you see it that way too. Not sure how I could ever thank you, but... as far as I know, you're not allowed to leave Cantorlot unattended and basically forced to stay there with Celestia and Luna, so obviously I couldn't give you a present or anything like that. Not that I have much to give anyways so it works for me.
So hopefully we see each other in the future again and maybe I can buy you lunch or something, I don't know, I don't have much money since I'm still living in this shit hole of a place so it'll have to be cheap if I do buy something. But at least I don't have to be alone. There's a small town not far from my place, sure it's bad and filled with gangs that'll kill me in an instant, but at least it isn't bad as being in the middle of the desert or something like that. Anyways, one more thing; If you ever get a chance, tell Celestia and Luna that I send my best to them. I know they don't like to hear from me and everything, but I do care about them after all. I wish them well and for you too as well.
And while you're at it, do you think that you can talk to her and tell her about me? I know she wouldn't listen to me, let alone get a word in. But she might listen to you and might be persuaded by you to try again with me. And I promise I won't mess it up this time. I've learned my lesson the hard way and I can be better. Anyways, goodbye for now, I don't expect a reply, so don't even bother writing one back.
He didn't say his name or anything like in a proper letter, but then again who cares right? Besides, he wasn't the one for that kind of stuff, as I said before he was kind of a douche somewhat before and for that, you can't blame him for ending it like that. Anyway, I wondered if I should had bother writing a reply back to him or not too. I thought for a while and came to the conclusion not to bother with it. I didn't think it needed a reply.
Besides, I'm sure Celestia and Luna wouldn't want to send the letter anyways if it was from him. Even those two didn't trust him, but I did in a way. I then put the letter in the stack and then gathered the stack of letters with my magic and headed towards the desk that had the envelopes and slowly, one by one, put the letters inside the envelopes and sealing it one by one. Afterwards, I then grabbed the quill and ink, and once more refreshed the ink at the tip and wrote the addresses to each of the letters that I had written to and such for it.
Although with Craig's reply letter I had to write my home address in Stalia, in which TK would receive it and drop it off at Craig's home. Supposedly he picks up my mail while I'm not there, at least that's what I am told. And honestly I can't be bothered to make sure that's what happens. That or Neon does it it, it doesn't matter how it gets there, as long as it gets to him, it didn't matter. Just like this journal, doesn't matter how it gets to you, as long as you're able to read it somehow and read with what happened with me.
I then had the letters ready to be sent off and I didn't bother to put stamps on it because honestly I didn't give a fuck about a stamp. It was only just a small sticker to be put on the letter, and clearly I wasn't in the fucking mood to care about a small sticker. But then again you still had to put some stamp on it, but at the same time I was in Cantorlot in the castle, I'm sure I can avoid paying taxes or something. Besides, I'm sure Celestia just gives the letters personally, as I am unsure if they put it in the mail box or not. After I had the letters all neatly placed in their respective envelopes and was ready to go, Celestia came through the door and gave the door a slight knock and walked through the door frame, in which I turned my head and looked at her.
She then gave me a stern look and she told me, "I need you to do something for me Knight."
I continued to stare at her while giving her the stink eye and wondered what she has been doing for the past few minutes while I had been reading the letters. I then wondered what she wanted from me that she wanted me to do so badly, although I recall something that she had said she had wanted me to do something, she was just too much of a bitch to tell me right away and keep me guessing and annoying me that way. Not on purpose, she is just a bitch like a normie.
I asked her while giving her a sly look, "And what do you want me to do Celestia?"
Then Celestia told me with a straight voice, "I need you to drop off a letter at the local club near the spa. It's just a letter containing a few things for the owner of the place. And besides, you do know him from past visits. I have also advised to Luna to go with you as well, as I am far too busy at the moment. She is waiting for you at the front door. Now, is there any questions?"
I had looked at her and then quickly glanced over at my letters that I had prepared to be sent off.
I then looked back at Celestia and told her while still giving her the stink eye, "No... not really, I know the drill. Luna keeps an eye on me to make sure I don't run away or hurt anyone. Although, I do have these letters for you to drop off, the letters that I made in for a reply to the letters that I got from the others. Do you think you can send them off without looking through it or anything like that?"
Celestia then said to me with a calm, yet hopeful look in her eyes with a slight smile, "Knight... I may keep you here for your own good by force, but that doesn't mean I won't respect your privacy every now and then."
I then told her while still giving her the dirty stink eye, "So it's every now and then is it? So you admit you're doing something wrong to me."
She then told me, but with more of an anger in her voice while the hopeful look in her eyes disappeared and replaced with annoyance, "Well I wouldn't have to keep an eye on you every so often if you would just listen to us. Look, I don't have time for this, just put the letters on the stand and go meet Luna downstairs. And later this evening... I'll take you with me to gather the herbs for Wolf's medicine since you seem to have been doing well so far, aside from your comment. Is that clear?"
I then nodded to her silently and she nodded back and from what the look she gave me, she started to trust me that I would follow her orders. Of course I wouldn't, but really... what choice did I have? It's either follow or possibly be killed... or suffer much pain. Either way, it's bad which either way that I choose, but obviously my best option was and currently is to follow. I went ahead and put the letters on the stand that I was reading the letters off from and headed out the room.
I went down the hall with my room still open wide. I took a quick peek and saw Wolf was still sleeping in his bed, sick, yet drunk. He had a smile on his face like he was having a good dream about banging some chick I guess. I kind of felt bad for him at first when he got sick. I've been there when you feel like shit. But now... well he's Wolf, he is shit. He is the living embodiment of shit. But a shit that I still care for though I guess. However, I only took a quick look at him, and after that, I went through the main door in the hallway and took the left turn as always.
I then headed down the steps and continued to go straight. From there, I entered another hall with things and objects to make the hall look a little nice on the sides as the red carpet went straight ahead to another set of double doors. I went towards those set of double doors and from there, I was greeted with a short cut to the main throne room. It was on the right side of Celestia's throne I believe. From there, I had a long ways to walk in order to get to the other set of double doors, but the big ones though.
It took me a while, since the room was big and I didn't bother to look on the glass windows that told of what was to come. I mean, it wasn't anything to bother with. Although, there was one glass window that didn't have anything on it, so clearly there was more to come with me. At least that's what I assumed that is. And who knows, maybe it'll show me dead or show me with Celestia's head chopped off clean and fighting the others off such as Luna and her. Assuming that's what happens and the voices in my head says it is true.
I eventually reached the main double doors and was then greeted with a set of stairs and from across the ways, I saw Luna waiting for me. She saw me and she had looked ok and wasn't hurt or anything like that from what I had said earlier. She looked like she was ready to go with a warm smile for me and was holding the letter that I had to give to the club owner that was nearby with her magic. I headed down the steps, one by one, slowly taking my time. Luna noticed I was doing this, but yet didn't seem to care at all. Perhaps she had enough with me and my actions in the past that angered her and her older sister, but with enough passed that everything is ok for now and that she could ease her mind a bit.
I got to her eventually and she gave me the letter, in which case, I took it with my magic and slowly put it in my cowboy hat. I still had I on all these years, and yet... I was starting to get sick of it. At least that's what it feels like in my head, I don't know why. I feel like I shouldn't, yet I should. Maybe it's nothing.
She looked at me and said, "So, is everything alright Knight?"
I then told her as I was about to open the door to the outside world while giving a slight glance at her while looking more towards the ground, "I'm fine."
I then focused my attention to opening the door with my magic, in which case, I opened it and saw the light with my own eyes. Not through the window, but with my own eyes. I was free for a moment from being inside the walls and being prevented from having the sunlight on my body. it felt warm and it felt fresh.
It felt good every now and then to be outside, but it was starting to get old to be free in Cantorlot. The sun was still setting and it looked like it was almost ready to be gone completely and have Luna take over the sky. As I looked around, the clouds were still there, as it was a normal day. I saw some ponies that lived in the town were outside, either doing business or going to somewhere fancy.
I saw in the far right a few kids playing hopscotch together with smiles upon their little faces while giggling and having a blast with their little game without knowing what is going around them. Sure, they know that some ponies that are dressed up in either fine suits or dresses were walking past them and not caring what the children were doing, as long as it didn't mess up their day, it would be fine.
Although I wonder, do they even knew that I was outside, a pony that may or may not breakdown and kill all of his family and friends one day if pushed too far and embrace the dark side of myself, while I try to keep giving myself hope and believe that is just a bad side talking to me, and that I don't really want to kill them, and I just need sometime by myself to think. Yet, it's a fake hope, isn't it? As I got outside, Luna followed my lead and she closed the door behind us.
A few guards were near the castle's entrance and they didn't move an inch. They just stood there like a stone wall, keeping an eye out for anyone that could possibly cause harm to the princesses.
I looked towards Luna and then say to her, "Shall we be on our way?"
She then nodded to me silently and we walked. It didn't take us long to get to the club, as it was nearby the castle. While we were walking, we headed north and we passed up stores and other ponies minding their own life in their own little world. It was common around, so they didn't see me and acted snooty towards me as they used to do in the past towards me because they thought I came from the low end of the country, a poor pony that's rude and does not have any manners.
But of course manners can only get you so far. We also passed up stores , some were open, some were closed. We also passed up a small café, but it had looked like it was starting to close up shop, but I wasn't sure about that though. Eventually we saw the spa on a corner street, in which case we were right by the club.
We made it to the spa, in which case once again, we continued to head forward and then we were at the club's front entrance, as it is across from the spa. The club was called 'Canto.' A weird sounding name... I know...
Not sure why it was named that at all other than the fact we were in the city of Cantorlot. Either the owner thought he was being funny or clever, it still sucks either way.
When we got to the front entrance, I heard the faint big band music playing inside. I closed my eyes and gave a sigh. However Luna didn't notice it.
I then turned my attention to the front doors and was about to head inside until I turned around to Luna and said to her while giving her a side glance with my eyes, "Stay here Luna, I won't be long."
She then stopped me in my tracks and said to me with a worried look on her face, "I'm going with you Knight... I have to keep an eye on you."
I then turned my head towards her more at her and said while giving a meaningless expression, "What are you worried about Luna? I'm not going to run away, I mean we've done this plenty of times by now. You can trust me, and if I do run away, you'll know it because there would be a lot of noise coming from the place."
She just stared at me and thought for a moment, until she finally said to me to break her silence with a small trustful smile, "Alright then, but don't take too long."
I then nodded to her and I went through the front doors. It was glass by the way so you know it was real fancy like. I headed inside and went through the front desk area. No one was there, so I headed into the main room where all the tables are set up and the stage is there with a little bar to the right.
As I entered through the establishment, I heard a familiar song in my head that was the same song that was playing at the club.
It was somewhat nice to hear it, but I knew for a fact it was from Earth. When I went through the tables, not many ponies were at the tables. In fact, there wasn't very many in the building to begin with, it was a slow night basically.
I made my way to the little bar to my right, as the band that was playing that night's song continued to play without an interruption with the bright spotlight on them. I made it to the counter and saw a black coat color pony with a red mane color , wearing a little suit and tie, along with a pair of pink dice for a cutie mark, named Valliant Dice.
He was the owner of the establishment, and as long as I was trapped in the castle, I knew Valliant and was somewhat a friend, but at the same time, not really so as I barely saw him and we didn't have too much in common. But hey, it's friendship either way. I saw him and he didn't see me walk up to him. All he was doing was concentrating on the band and bobbing his head to the tune a little while looking a little discreet at the same time.
I went up to the counter and he still didn't notice me until I spoke up, "So, slow night then Valliant?"
He then finally noticed me and he said to me while turning his attention to me, "Yeah... but some nights it can be busy, I guess it's just one of those nights am I right? So, you want the usual tonight?"
I then said to him while looking down upon the counter top with a sad yet annoyed look on my face, "No thanks... Luna is waiting for me outside."
He then said to me with a playful smile, " Still having problems with them as always, right Knight?"
Then I said to him, "Well, if they didn't constantly bothered me... maybe I wouldn't have problems with them."
Valliant then said to me, "You know Knight... you keep complaining and complaining about them Knight. I'm sorry to say this... but.... it's getting a bit annoying. I mean every night or whenever you come in here... it's the same fucking thing with you... they are a bunch of two bitches that you don't like very much at the moment. Why not talk about something else for once and enjoy the music?"
I then said to him as I slowly raised my head up to look at him with a crazy looking smile forming on my face, "You know... Wolf said a similar thing to me not long ago. He told me to just shut up and enjoy life. And you know what? He's not half wrong. Maybe I should enjoy the music for once and make the best of it. Maybe I should just do exactly that. But you know the troubled apart about it? Whenever I try to enjoy the music, those two keep pulling me back in and I can't enjoy the music. I want to have a good time, but they won't let me... at least not the way that I want to do it. But maybe I should just... change the the tune then... huh?..."
We were then both silent as he looked away and my crazy looking smile disappeared and we both paid attention to the song that was playing. I then turned my head towards the stage to see all the band members playing their respective instruments. I could feel that I knew I had heard that song somewhere before, and I was right... it was from Earth from sure. However, how it got to this universe is a mystery, but not a surprising one though since it seems to be common the longer I live among the many universes and study it whenever I can. It's like Earth and my old past was haunting me and was starting to get to me and my head.
I then asked Valliant while still looking at the stage and he was cleaning some glasses, "So... the guy singing the song... how did he come up with it?"
Valliant then said to me, "Well he told me that it just came to him one night after walking in a very dark alley in a bad town miles from here... apparently. But for once you didn't talk about those two..."
I then said to him, "Well I can't help it. They just piss me off too much to just keep it to myself and enjoy everything else."
Valliant looked at me and he said to me as I turned my head towards back to him, "I don't see why you don't like what they are doing for you. They seem to really care about you. And from what I hear, they are just trying to put you on the right path and make your world a good one."
I then said to him, "Yeah... just like whatever what everyone else said...'they're just there to keep you in your own world for the sake of our world,' as they just stand there and take what I built away from me."
Valliant then said to me, "Come on Knight... it isn't all that bad, I mean you're living in the castle, something that everypony dreams about! And to work beside them... freaking magnificent... who wouldn't want to be in your place Knight? I'm even willing to bet even those others that you talk about would also want to change places with you... what you have and been through. Despite all the hardships that may have come and gone, it is a special thing. You should really embrace what you have rather than to wish for something else. I mean, from what it sounds like, you're one lucky son of a bitch... I mean you even know her for Celestia's sake... so really this is a good thing. This is a good sign."
I then said to him while place my right arm... hoof... whatever... on the bar counter top, "Right.... tell me something that I don't know... I know it's a good thing, but right now isn't the best of all times to do it. I have built something real special that I made, something really big that took a long time to put together. It's something that I built and one of the most special things that means a lot to me, at least as far as I am concerned. I have been through so much, and made so much, and they just take it away from me... and sometimes, my emotions for the things that I want just gets in the way for the things I love."
Valliant then said to me while giving a slight expression of depression and annoyance, "I'm just saying is all."
Valliant then turned around beside him to clean some dirty glasses behind him alongside with managing his liquor supply and what other business that he may have had to do. As he was doing that, I turned my back to the band that was playing. The song eventually finished, in which the main singer took a bow to the two or three other ponies that was there that night as they stomped through hooves in approval. All the while the others who were playing the instruments just sat there, waiting for their next song to start.
With what very little ponies that were in the club, as there weren't many, were of the old variety. It was just a bunch of old farts that had no real business being there, yet didn't seem like that had much to live for by that point in their lives. So they ended up going to a club like this at night and just applauded the pony while the pony who was wearing a tuxedo on stage smiled and embraced with what very little he received.
He said out loud as he looked out to the audience with a charmful tone in his voice a slick looking smile, "Thank you very much, you're a great audience. And even though there isn't much of you here, I still appreciate you all being here tonight. Tonight seems to be a peaceful night, a great night to be out in the town and such. So, I'm going to sing one of my new hits, 'I'm on the top of the World.' Hit it fellas!"
Then the band members started playing the song and once again, the song that was being sung sounded like a song from Earth once again. It seemed that the crowd was enjoying the song regardless though, but they seemed to not care, as it was a slow night.
So either people didn't care enough to go out in the town to do whatever, or they just wanted to do something so they can get the idea of committing suicide out of their mind.
I then remembered something, in which case I told Valliant as he turned around and I looked at him, "Oh, before I forget, I was sent here to give you a letter from the royal majesty herself."
I took off my hat and used my magic to give valiant the letter.
He slowly took it and the put it in his suit, in which case, he said to me, "Thanks Knight. I'll deal with it later."
Soon, a stallion walked up to us. He had a blonde hair that was combed all the way back, his nose was held up high as if he was above all else. He wore a blue suite and he looked like all that mattered was him.
He also had a purple coat color with a big, fancy cigar for a cutie mark while having a big, fancy cigar in his left suit pocket to go along with his ass. He looked like one of those snooty, high class ponies that only cared about themselves or other rich fucks like him.
And he also seemed like he wouldn't give a second thought about letting the poor burn to death as well.
Well, he came up to the bar and told Valiant, "I need a glass of wine, somewhere between seventy-eight and eighty years old. And make it quick, I would like to get away from this low life right next to me."
I then asked him while I was surprised to hear his words come from his big mouth while I had a disgusted look form on my face, "Excuse me?"
He then said to me while giving me the stink eyes, "Excuse me... was I talking to you?"
I then told him while I was starting to get angry towards him, "Well you were talking about me and how I am supposedly a low life like yourself."
Valiant then said, "Listen, just calm down and we can..."
I then cut him off and said while not looking at him and banging my left arm... hoof... whatever... on the bar counter top and with a certain tone in my voice, "Shut up Valiant."
The snooty rich pony then said to me, "Why are you even here you peasant? Where are the town's guards when you need them?"
I then said to him while putting a hoof on him, more or less pushing him in a violent way, "Well you know what, I am here in this little club on a little trip. So how about you get your wine, take it back to your table and you can shove it up you rich asshole of yours while you look at yourself in the mirror because you're a piece of shit that only looks after himself."
He then said to me, "How dare you touch me! This suit cost me a thousand bits I'll have you know... and I'm afraid you're the piece of 'shit' here, for you do not belong here. Now please leave this fine establishment before I go find a guard myself and have you arrested for making a scene."
I then stared at him, while some ponies sitting at the table were watching us and the band went silent, just listening to our conversation. I then gathered up all of my strength and anger into my right hoof and knocked out the rich-ass pony cold.
I landed him in the face, with a little blood spitting out too. He landed hard on the floor, as if he was in a comma. I then looked towards everyone else that was paying attention to us.
I looked towards them and told them all, "Well go on... what are you all staring at!?"
They then slowly turned away and the band continued their song, however I heard a slight whisper among in the audience.
I then slowly turned around and asked Valiant, "Give me a whiskey... and the whole bottle, not a shot glass."
Valiant nodded and went straight away to grab me my drink as he looked worried for me as I looked a little bit slump on the bar counter top. He soon came back with a glass bottle of brand named whiskey with his left hoof and I didn't even need him to open it. I just used my magic to grab it, bring it close to my hungry lips, opened the big bottle of whiskey that he gave me, possibly a sixty-four ounce, maybe more and drinked it all. I stayed at the bar area, watching the song while Valiant avoided to talk to me. It was because he knew I wasn't in the mood. I also knew about that Luna was waiting for me outside, but I didn't give a fuck.
Eventually, about ten to fifteen minutes later, I was finished with the entire bottle. I left the bottle on the counter and left without a single word to valiant. I didn't even pay him, but he knew I was good, so he sometimes he gave me drinks that was on the house every now and then.
That or maybe he just didn't want to get on my bad side and have a bullet in his head or maybe since I didn't have a gun at the time, a knife in his chest with his heart in the trash can. Or maybe that's too edgy. Really he's probably just as much of a pussy like Forrest is. We can pretend it's that since Celestia took away my gun... and my knife... but jokes on them, I wasn't good with those two things so it doesn't hurt me... HA HA HA HA HA... ha ha... ha... he... I should probably not have wrote that down... but I'm using ink and there is no eraser for this... well this is embarrassing...
Let's move on huh?... So anyways, I walked out of the club, not feeling drunk, mostly because mostly these days I need a little bit more booze to get a good buzz going. You could say I had built a tolerance over the years when it comes alcohol.
I walked outside, the stars were out and Luna was waiting for me, looking a little worried in her eyes, but at the same time wondering what happened to me. I could understand, since she missed her chance to raise the moon and the stars and letting her big sister do it instead of her. It was her job after all, her responsibility, and didn't do it because of me. And on top of that, I was gone for an awfully long time for something that I had to just drop a letter off to someone... yeah...
Luna saw me come out by the entrance and I looked at her with a slight disgruntled frown upon my face as she asked me, "What took you so long Knight? Did you have any trouble in there or..."
I cut off Luna and told her while walking past her slightly and hanging my head down a bit with my eyes closed, "Well I went in there, talked to Valiant, gave him the letter."
I then stopped in my tracks after walking past her a bit, raised my head up, and had an annoyed look in my eyes as I slowly turned my head to her and looking in her eyes while I said to her, "Then this rich asshole came up to the counter, asked for some wine and basically gave me an insult. So we argued and I ended up punching him in the jaw. In which case, he may or may not be in a coma. And I may or may not have went ahead and drinked an entire bottle of whiskey to forget what just happened. Sadly it wasn't enough whiskey."
Luna looked hard at me and straight into my eyes deeply and told me as she looked disappointed in me while I just looked slightly annoyed in my eyes, "Knight... you know Celestia and I have forbid you to drink..."
I then told her while tilting my head slightly to the side and and giving her a whatever kind of look, "So? Sometimes we just need a little something to take off the edge, and when our close friends are not of help at that time, the only thing that you can turn to is liquor. And besides, I'm not even drunk."
Luna then said, as we had started to walk back towards the castle and I kept my eyes forward and she kept looking at me as we trotted along the path, "That's not the point Knight. The point is that you need to remain sober, even if you don't get drunk. You are supposed to be taught how to stay on the path. The correct path so your world isn't so bad. And if not for your world, but for our world as well. Just... please listen to reason and don't do it again. I won't tell Celestia, especially what has been said earlier today, but next time I might not keep it a secret."
I then told her, as we got up to the main front door as she had a pleading looking in her eyes, begging me not to disobey them again while I looked back without a care in the world, "Huh uh... whatever you say princess."
Then, we opened the door with the magic from our horns and when we did, Celestia was waiting behind it.
We then both walked in and I then asked Celestia who was standing there inside, waiting patiently for us to come back from the errand, "Hello, may I ask why are you just standing there?"
Celestia then said with a confused, yet curious look on her face, "Well, I thought you wanted to go out and fetch the herbs for Wolf's medicine."
I then was silent for a while and then said while I rolled my eyes to the back of my head and put my right hand... hoof... whatever... to my chin to think about it for a bit, "Yeah... I did I suppose. Alright then, let's head out."
Celestia then said with a tone in her look and voice to me, "Yes, just remember to stick close."
Celestia and I then walked out as Luna stayed in to do what her job was, being the princess of the night. Luna took to her duties, as Celestia and I walked through Cantorlot.
We were silent to each other as we headed back out the doors that I had walked through, mostly likely because I still didn't like what she has put me through and what had happened earlier.
Eventually, the silence was broken by Celestia, as we walked past a pony every now and then on the streets in the dead of night, "So... what took you two so long?"
I was silent with my answer, trying to think of an answer in my head. My head hanged down a little bit as to not look at her and give her a tip that I had something to hide. I was a little bit nervous since I knew she wouldn't like what I had done and I was going to have to go through some more shit with her, but she was giving me the shifty stink eye though as we were walking the streets. I couldn't come up with anything instantly, but I thought for a moment, tried my best to think of something quick, as I was sure she would expect an answer from me at some point, and clearly I didn't feel like pissing her off some more.
I had honestly felt tired, in pain for once in a blue moon. Celestia was tough and only grew wiser to my actions whenever I tried to outsmart her.
I eventually broke my own silence and told Celestia as I raised my head up and looked at her, as she looked at me as we were walking, waiting for an answer to come from my mouth and still giving me the side stink eye, "I had some... uhhh... technical difficulties... let's put it like that."
Celestia looked curious, but at the same time concerned.
She then asked me, "What complica..."
She was then quickly cut off as the rich pony that I had knocked out earlier had came out of the club that we were walking past. He was weak, limping in a way, he looked like he had been through a lot of shit not too long ago.
His suit was roughed up while his mane was all over the place and he was bleeding from his nose while still having dried blood on his face from where I had punched him at. He had stumbled out of the club, holding the door with his right hoof as best as he could as he limped on outside. He looked a bit dizzy and couldn't tell exactly what was right in front of his face. He saw me and he looked like he recognized me.
He then said as the best he could, "There you are... you peasant... do you think you can get away with hitting me... after doing what you did to me? Huh!? Do you think you can... "
I then had to shut him up because I couldn't stand to hear the words come out of his mouth for more than fifteen seconds. I went up to him swiftly and I hit him again with my right hand... hoof... whatever... right square in the face, knocking him out cold once more.
Celestia saw me and she had looked a little pissed at me as she was defiantly giving me the stink eye and knew something was up with me, but at the same time a bit glad that I did. It was because she wasn't always for the rich ponies that looked down on the poor. In fact, she despised it. But at the same time there was nothing she could do about it and control's one thoughts like a robot. IT still irked her though. So in a way, she was glad that I punched him it seemed, but yet can't help but feel that I broke a contract of some sort.
She then asked me as we continued our walk towards the gate that led outside of town and into the nearby forest as we left the guy who I had punched all by himself, "So... what was that back there?"
I then told her as I had a little smirk on my face, "As I said, some complications was brought up in the club. But don't worry, I took care of it, and no one was hurt... except for him of course. So you don't have to worry and possibly yell at me for doing something wrong."
Celestia then said to me with a stern look towards me, "Well... he was a bit rude, but I would have expected a better response from you and to handle it in a more proper manner."
Then her expression changed and looked like she was softening up a bit towards me, "Buuuuut... I suppose it's alright, as long as you didn't cause too mage damage to him."
I then said to her, as we were coming up to the gate with a mad, little smile, "Well, I hope something worse comes to him... I hope he finds a dirty gun somewhere and does this world... or this universe... a favor... He needs to put a bullet in his fucking head and either burn in Neon hell or walk forever alone. Either way, it'll be a favor to the entire universe if he does that."
Celestia didn't like what I had to say and looked a bit angry with my language that I had used in front of her along with the insult that I had made. I had walked up slightly ahead of her as she gave me the stink eye behind my back. You could just feel that stink eye.
However, she didn't feel like yelling throughout the town or the nearby woods and arguing with me and wake up the entire town or the woodland critters, so she just bottled up her emotions as we continued towards the gate. We eventually got to the gate and as we walked out, I saw the forest. The forest didn't have a name, I had always called it the forest near Cantorlot. I don't have a fancy name for it. Sorry if you were expecting one. But hey... we can play a fun game of Name That Forest. Not Forrest, a forest. See, Forrest has 2 "r's" in his name... bet you didn't realize that huh? Yeah... I know...
Anyways, I didn't go into it with a few exceptions in the past so I didn't have well-known knowledge to it, but Celestia did since she lived in Cantorlot for over a thousand years. When we were out of the city, we were on the edge of the forest; there was no trail, just a plain line between the rows of trees and cut grass.
As we walked into the forest, Celestia told me as she kept her head a little low with shifty eyes and said to me with a bit of determination yet worry in her voice, "Keep close to me Knight. I don't want you getting lost. I am aware that you do not have much knowledge of this place whatsoever, let alone been here before. At least I assume as much that is... "
I then told her with a sly smirk across my face, "I have been here a few times in the past, but not much to actually know what goes inside these woods."
Celestia then said to me in a low tone of voice almost as if she was whispering, "Well, either way, stay close to me. Now, I have looked up in the books and with what Wolf has, we really just need one herb, but it is a bit hard to find. So you being here helps out a little bit. We are looking for a plant that has one green leaf attached to its head, with blue petals surrounding it on a stem. The reason why it's hard to see is because it's rare to find and only grows in specific areas, but luckily enough, it's here."
I then asked her and looking up at her, "And once we find this plant, what do we do with it?"
Celestia then said, "Surprisingly, not much, all Wolf has to do is eat it raw and he'll be fine and within the next three days, he'll slowly get better. So go ahead and start looking around and let me know if you see anything, but keep to where I can keep an eye on you though."
I then said to her as I started to act a little playful towards her and started to get ahead of her more, "Whatever you say."
She then gave me a look, a look that told me she wasn't happy with that comment either, but not as angry enough though. It's just that to her, it wasn't giving her any respect that she thought she had deserved from me.
Well, we went ahead and went our separate ways, but we didn't separated from each other too far from each other. I went about twenty or thirty feet or so ahead of her. I still had a playful smirk on my face even though she wasn't seeing it, but somewhere in my mind, I started to have a hopeful outlook in the future... or at the very least the very near future. As for Celestia, she didn't look too pleased with my actions, but was willing to put up with it. Besides, she was trying to concentrate on finding the herb and not waste energy or effort on my sorry little pony ass. So she started to look for it by using her horn as a flashlight to see in the dark. Her horn and magic gave off a white, bright, slightly powerful glow that illuminated the nearby area.
For me, on the other hand, I didn't feel the need to do it. Luna's bright and shiny moon was enough for me to look around in the forest. So at least to me, I didn't need to do shit. Even though in all reality, I couldn't see seven feet ahead of me. But hey, I worked with what I got sometimes. Even though I didn't need to.... eyup... you can call it stupid all you want, I'm just here to tell you how it all went down. You don't need to get snarky at me you little shit. Anyways, She looked down, carefully scanning with her eyes, searching for the plant.
However, with no luck and fifteen minutes in, she couldn't find diddly dick. As for me, I did the same thing and used my eyes despite maybe straining them in the low moonlight looking for the damn thing, although I was pondering in my mind about just making a break for it, head to the portal that may or may not have been nearby, head to a new universe that hasn't been opened before, and never come back. And never look back too. And have no regrets or else shit is just going to be from that point forward and it's just going to turn into some recreation from the Bible by that point. You know like leaving and thinking you're never going to come back, but then you end up regretting it and feel home sick and then you're come back learning a valuable lesson and asking for forgiveness. I don't want any of that cringe shit. And if some of you have a problem with that, then maybe god shouldn't have made it cringe.
But then again, TK could just tracked me down through various means, along with Celestia might being able to catch up to me before even getting close to a cave that holds a portal with her magic or her giant fucking wings. Hell, there was a cave in that forest that holds a portal that I never told anyone about I think at least I think this was the forest that had the portal. Either way it's there... but I suppose it wasn't for the best to do it. Maye whenever I feel up to it I'll do it, but not then and not now. I'm still writing to you guys after all. I'm not going to be rude and not finish what I started unlike some others... because they can't finish in bed... oooooooohhhhhhhh... got ya... So continuing, Celestia could easily catch up to me easily. She was too good for me to beat, and so I could only hope I could escape without getting caught.
Of course, I saw the cave in the distance beyond many trees and just barely slightly squinting my eyes into the far off distance as I looked around... and I saw it, stared at it, wondering if it even was worth making a run for it. The door to go on my own and make my own path and to take by my world was right there, waiting for me to go. My chance, right there. This whole world behind me could have been gone in a flash right then and there. I just needed to take a chance and leap off the metaphorical cliff and take by what was mine; my life, my destiny, my world. I just needed to trust within my own soul and go for it without thinking. Do it now and ask questions later or else nothing gets done. But I then hesitated and couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't.. even when it was just sitting right there, mocking me... So instead I put that thought to rest and continued to search for the plant.
Eventually, Celestia and I moved to different areas and separated out selves from each other. I'm sure Celestia was too busy looking for the plant to notice that we had just split up like that without comment. So we went deeper into the forest than we needed to be, as it could be somewhat dangerous, especially around this tie of night. Who knows what kind of dangerous cocks we would find. Perhaps a big and scary one that was black that would try to rape us... yo know... a black chicken snake thing. And then it would maybe rob us too... But hey, it was nothing to worry about... she was one of the strongest alicorns in the universe, along with having me there... it wasn't even something to even come across our minds when we went deeper into the woods. I'm sure... maybe I couldn't exactly take on a big, black, scary cock, but I could try to shoot at it... with my magic. Look, it just needs to stay away from my property and go back to cotton fields... that was in the forest.. where most of these cocks live at...
So we continued to search and search and about an hour later... we still didn't have any luck. It was almost beginning to look like it was hopeless to find this one plant that we needed. However, I saw a cave, not the cave that held the portal, but a different cave that I recalled seeing once before and being in it, but didn't recall it since it wasn't in my interests too much. I saw a faint glow coming from it and it attracted me. I was almost mesmerized by it like I was caught in some kind of trance by it. And then I slowly walked towards it without saying a word out loud. Celestia eventually looked up and saw me as she had a look of a hawk on her face just staring at me. But she didn't say a word either as she just followed me into the cave and seemed to have been caught in the same trance of the faint glow as well.
We went into the mouth of the cave, and as we did, we both saw that it was that big, but not too small either... just right for a good sized cave I suppose. Like a big sized cave that you would take boring yet obligated tours in because you're on a road trip and your parents think looking at caves are interesting even though you just want to play your fancy Game boy or Walkman or whatever and listen to urban blacks about stabbing each other for crack cocaine as they are singing while high crack cocaine. Yeah... and there's a little gift shop on the side with some shitty trinkets that you could buy at an inflated price.
So we went into the mouth of the cave and as we went to the source of the light, it got brighter and brighter like how the sky would get throughout the day. When we were walking to the source, it reminded me of that one night on Earth... the night that started it all. When I saw that ball of light and how I went after it into that cave, I even started to wonder if I would see it again... but of course, as of now, I'm still questioning what that ball of light was and what it all meant for me. Well, in some ways I think I know, but in other ways I question it all.... so chances were, it wasn't going to happen.
Well, we eventually turned a corner and it wasn't no ball of light awaiting for me to see me again like that one night back on Earth. But instead, little lights floating in the air like little fire flies, as there was a pool of water that had a beautiful blue color to it, while the roof of the cave seemed to reach to the heavens.
The lights seemed to have been bugs, but I wasn't sure. I didn't really want to bother asking Celestia or trying to check. Look of it was a bug, it's a bug. And if it bothers you, you just smash it. Especially if it's a spider. Tell those fuckers to fuck off and tell them "Weaving spiders, come not here!" over and over on repeat. A Skeleton told me to do that, but that's a lesson for you kids out there.., always trust a skeleton that had a really big and long nose, you can trust them. Even if odd and familiar music is playing somewhere near them. Well, Celestia and I were amazed by this sight as her eyes glowed in wonder and her mouth agape... well just Celestia really. I on the other hand thought it was relaxing and calm, but of course it wouldn't hold me for long to gather up my anger once more and to forget all of the good will and charm of the place that we had just found ourselves.
Soon, Celestia spotted something on the ground near her that caught her attention. She then lowered her head and soon took a closer look as she didn't have to move as this thing was right next to her. She squinted her eyes to try and get a clearer look and to determine what it was She bent her neck forward and surprise surprise... she found the plant we were looking for. Oh boy! She had a little smile on face as if she was a child finding buried treasure.. or a dead, decomposing rat corpse in the backyard, and possibly happy that we found it and could go back home with no more worries in our mind.
She used her magic to force the plant out of the ground and she did so with love in her heart and hope in her eyes... possibly cortex. There was no sound other than snapping off the plan from it's connection to the earth as it remained as if it was untouched by anyone and it glistened in the light of the bugs. She just had it, and she held it near her face with her magic. She was going to hold it tight until we got back home.
She then turned around while saying wit a hopeful smile for once on her face, "Alright then, I found what we were looking for and..."
I wasn't around to be seen; I wasn't in her sights. Her hopeful smile had then quickly disappear as it was earned. She then started to have this face that she was ready to burst into red fiery flames and was fed up.
She then said as loud as she could to herself without it being awkward, "That ungrateful... I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED HIM! I SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT HIM BACK AT THE CASTLE! I'M JUST TOO..."
I then cut her off as I came up to the surface from the pool of water and poked my head out.
I said to her in the middle of her rant with a snarky smirk on my face, "Hey Celestia... maybe you should COOL off for a moment."
I had my eyes closed with a big grin on my face as I chuckled to myself a bit, thinking I was owning her. When Celestia saw me in the water, she was relived and quickly calmed down. She even had a smile on my face knowing that I was still there and didn't leave. But the hopeful part wasn't there. That part was long gone.
She then said to me, "Well it does look nice, but it is getting late. Just get out and use a spell that you have to dry yourself off, since I'm sure you have one by now."
I then said to her as I started to do some back strokes in the water while still having my eyes closed and sailing smoothly, "Not really, but I could possibly make one on the spot if I feel like it. And even then, I probably don't care enough to do even that."
She then said to me with a slight worried smile, "Yes... well... just try and dry yourself off. If not, then when we get back, I'll get you a warm towel. It is a bit chilly in here after all."
I then told her, "Nonsense... I'll be perfectly fine. I could even stay the rest of the night here."
She then told me with a worried but angered look on her face, "Well certainly not with me or Luna you won't. And besides, we need to get this to Wolf and it is time for us to eat. So get out and we can head back."
And so I kept my little smirk on as I headed to the edge of the pool of water (despite slowly dying on the inside that I had to get out of the nice pool... the pool was really nice...). I slowly climbed out of the pool of water and I was soaking wet, but I was fine as my pony coat felt a little heavy. We then walked out of the cave together as Celestia stay a little bit away from me as not to get wet from me getting wet. We then walked further and towards the outside, leaving the light of the cave and the bug behind us, perhaps for some for some other time while Celestia continued to carry the plant with her magic from her horn.
We then started to walk the same way we came from. As we slowly got out of the cave, the light slowly started to fade and such. We then ended up just using the moon light to guide us through the dark forest that we were navigating through at that time. Or in other words, not too long ago for me. You'd think it would be easy, just follow the same path as before. But really, it was still hard like the first time around. While we were walking through the woods, neither of us said a single word to each other, at least in the woods that is. It felt like there was some tension still between us. But then again I guess a trip through the caves doesn't solve all relationship problems. Although I'd imagine it would some... because where you hide the bodies of course.
Once we got out of the woods and closer to civilization, Celestia asked me with a straight look on her face with a hint of worry, "So... how was your day today... aside from what happened this morning that is? I know this isn't a question that I don't normally ask, but I am curious Knight."
I then told her as we were walking through the gate with a slight worried, yet sad look on my face as I looked down at the ground a little bit, "Well... nothing much happened after breakfast. Just... got upset and went into my room. Then afterwards I fell asleep and waking up to your sun going down slowly. And afterwards... you came in, talked to me, left, and I cleaned up the mess that was made in the hallway. I then went ahead and read those letters and replied to all of them except for TK. After that, well you know what happened."
She then nodded and didn't give an expression or anything else like that. We eventually went passed the club, and the rich snob that I knocked was still there lying on the ground like a dead corpse, with no one caring to pick him up. Ponies seem to have just walked over him to get through the entrance to the club. He was still a mess, but there was only dried up blood lying on the hard ground. Neither of us seem to care either about him. Granted though he wasn't showing any signs of movements or even a single sound of a groan in pain. He was just... lying there... almost like he had just died... ............................. Look if anyone asks, you tell them he did that to himself. He was feeling suicidal and his wife and daughter left him. He had lost his job, his name was Derrick, and he had really bad blue balls and couldn't go on living with such a travesty in his life. Remember to keep the story straight and say that he went out to the bar for one final drink and then he punched himself to death out in front because he just had too much of blue balls to do it inside in front everyone else. And if someone asks who you know this, you tell them we were all good friends, and that we were family and we all hanged out at the park like every Labor day weekend or something and he just so happened to send all of us a suicide note telling us exactly what he was planning on doing. And that we couldn't get to him in in time because we all had something in the oven. I say Kosher, you can say bread or your hopes and dreams.
Ok, so we got our story straight. I'm not fucking around with you, when the Universe police come, they're find that I sent this to you... whoever you are.. and they'll ask... they'll fucking ask! You better not snitch on me... SNITCHES ARE BITCHES THAT GET STICHES!...
Ok... I think I got all of that out of my system... now where were we? Ah yes, the guy that I totally did not kill and was just knocked out cold and taking a little nap. And neither Celestia or I questioned about the pony's condition that he was in and we just walked right on by him.
But as we were walking on by, Celestia then turned her ahead towards me with an irked stare with questionable eyes and asked me I kept my cool and kept looking forward, "What really happened in there Knight?"
I then said to her as I kept looking forward and keeping a good posture as I walked while giving her a slight side glance with my eyes while also producing a slight smirk, "Well... if you really must know; after I gave Valiant the letter, he came up to, he said some big meanie words towards me that were not nice and I had to put him in time out... on the street... "
She then she said as she looked more annoyed while I gave myself a little chuckle under my breath, "Well I don't really tolerate any violence. But... I am against such ponies who aren't polite to each other and try to cause trouble. So I suppose what you did was a good thing, just not in the way you did it."
Celestia had just given me the stink eyes as I then said to her while turning my head slight towards her in a playful way, "I know... but he wasn't being very towards me nice, so I ended up having to teach him a valuable lesson about friendship. And the friendship lesson that I taught him was that if you don't know when to keep your mouth shut and don't say anything nice to someone, then the other one who could be your friend won't be. And that friend that you lost might have to do something about your attitudes as good friends do to make you better. Now did I learn a good lesson on friendship my humble teacher?"
Celestia then said as she looked forward and had a cynical look form on her face while she lowered her head just a tad bit, "That very cute of you Knight. You don't have to mock me in my presence. I can take a hint sometimes, especially when you have given my many over the past few years."
I said back to her while having a smirky smile on face as I said with a grin and said as I nodded my head towards her, "Awwww... you're too kind Princess."
We eventually made it to the front door and passed everyone in Cantorlot who was going out and about the town that night. By the time that we had gotten to the front doors of the castle, I was all dried up by then. So I was all good and wasn't at risk of catching some kind of cold myself and anyone in the castle who worked there didn't have to worry about stepping on a damp carpet or anything similar to that of sorts. Not that it would matter too much since they have hooves. But if they were wearing any socks on their hooves then it would probably be very icky to step on the damp carpet with. But then why would they be wearing socks unless this is rule 34? Hmmm... Oh well, it doesn't matter. We opened the door and headed inside as Celestia closed the door behind us. Luna wasn't waiting for us as she had other important businesses to attend to at that time, but she would be there for dinner later early that night..
Celestia then gave me the plant to take to Wolf with her magic as I picked it up with my horn as well, and we did that without a single word to each other. It's as if despite all that we had went through together that night, there was no show of gratitude of staying with my lives and doing as they said. We even had a moment with each other, perhaps even a bond was starting to form... yet Celestia turned around and headed elsewhere within the castle as she walked off... away from me. And as she did my eyes gave a look of both sadness and disappointment, wondering where she was going. Aside from a few words (and a possible dead body), I tried to do better. Despite the voices in my head to do otherwise, I put effort in and tried to make the best of everything just like how Wolf said to do it. And yet she just walked away like walking away from a precious memory and giving it all up right then and there. From that point after she had left me alone, a part of me felt empty on the inside, like something was just lost and something else was building up inside me. So I just stood there for a quite few seconds, lowered my head a bit and gave a slight sigh to myself.
No one else was around to experience my loneliness and come to my aid to ask me what was wrong. I looked around and I was all alone. And I thought to myself that's how it's going to be if things don't change. If I don't change or they don't change as well. Either way, it felt... weird, yet sad. So after standing there with a finger up my ass, I headed upstairs to my room to give Wolf what he needed for him to finally get better from his illness. I took the steps as usual and went with the usual route as I have been doing ever since I got stuck living in the castle; as there are multiple ways sometimes to get from point A to point B, but that depends. The estate was big though, so obviously that would be the case.
Anyway, I eventually made it to my room and the the lights were on. I thought I had turned it all off but I guess not... that or I did and Wolf just got up and did something while I was away and who knows, even when he is sick, he might have fucked something up. But that's besides the point. I had the plant in my possession, walked through the door calmly, and saw Wolf just laid stretched out in his bed almost as if he had gone into a drunken slumber of some kind. I had a bit of an annoyed look on my face. He was supposed to be sick after all and needing my help to get better. He should have been sleeping and doing whatever to get better rather than taking his daily amount of liquor. But then my eyes cooled and mellowed out as I just also gave him a look of sadness within my eyes. Sure he didn't notice, but I was think that's how he was. And he was always going to be like that too. and I had hoped that he never changed that at all.
So I then gently waking up from his drunken slumber as he started to drool a bit as he laid on wooden back, slumped over his bed, "Get up you asshole, it's time to take your medicine!"
I uhh... admittedly kicked him a little with my right hoof when I said that as I gave him a cynical look.
..... Oh don't boo me, it wasn't even a hard kick... I'm assuming you're booing by the way just so you know. And if you didn't... well this is awkward.
Anyways, as I said that out to him, Wolf was snoring a bit but then suddenly woke up and snorted a bit like a pig and said as he shook his and struggled a bit to get up from his back from his messed up sleeping position, "Huh? Who is that? Is it you tooth fairy? I don't have the teeth yet, come back when you have my drugs... "
And then Wolf went silent for a couple of seconds. As he didn't say a word, he then slowly turned his head my way and said to me with a small smirk, "Oh it's you. The guy who doesn't know to have fun anymore."
I then said while still holding the plant with my magic and giving him a slight mocking smile, "Oh shut up Wolf and take your damn medicine will ya. I went through a lot to get this you know?"
Wolf then said to me with a smile of his own as he got into his normal position as a timber wolf and into a correct position for his bed, "Oh yeah? What kind of trouble?"
I then said to him with a smirk as I gave him the plant near him, "Oh it was nothing. I got a little wet though, I could've drown."
Wolf then said to me as he grabbed the plant with his two front wooden paws, "Is that so? well it sounds like to me that you were starting to learn how to kick it back and relax."
I then said to him as I took some steps back from him and gave a slight chuckle that he could hear from me, "He he he... maybe I was and maybe I wasn't."
Wolf didn't respond to my comment and just instead looked down what he had in his two front wooden paws instead with a slight smile.
wolf then said to me while not looking at me and just staring at the plant, "What the hell is this thing anyway?"
I then said to him as I turned around and leaned up against a wall to show him that I was relaxing a bit at him, "It's a plant that's your medicine that'll make you get better. Celestia and I got it for you somewhere in a cave not too far from here. You just eat it and it'll do the rest, so bottoms up."
Wolf then tried to crack a joke I think and gave me a side glance while still giving me a little smirk, "A cave? And you couldn't bring me back a mushroom for me to trip out on? THAT'S the medicine that I need right now. Not this vegan crap."
I then gave him a little smile and a small chuckle to go along with it and said to him while shaking my head a tad, "But you already eat pony food... which is pretty much just vegetarian stuff."
And then I thought about it and had a straight look in my eyes as stared out into blank space and said to him with a dead stare, "With the exception of eggs... and fish somewhere in the sky in that one place... and the "hot dogs" in that one place..."
I started to have cold shivers run down my spine thinking about the "hot dogs" from that one place. But after remembering memories from the past that I tried to repress many of time, I then shook my heads really fast several times and try to shake the feelings and the memories away and pretended that they never existed.
I then went back to having a small smile on my face and look at Wolf and said to him, "Never mind... so what are you waiting for, eat up so you can get better..."
Wolf then said as he slightly tossed the healing plant to the side on the dirty floor, while he slightly squinted at me along with a smile that was a little sneaky along with a slight chuckle, "he he he... I don't think. I think I'm just going to get high instead."
I then stared at him with my smiling slowly disappearing as I then said to him, "How about you shut the fuck up and just eat the plant before you get hurt... ok?"
Wolf then said back to me as he still kept his little sneaky smile and as he stood firm with his answer as just gave me a dead stare back into my eyes, mocking me, "Nah... I think I'll just wait and let the weed do it's thing an get better from there. Ok buddy? Ok... go and have a good time..."
I then started to have an annoyed and angered look grow on my face as I then got up from leaning against the wall and standing on all four of my pony legs. And the voices and the bad thoughts started to swirl around in my mind again. The fire was starting grow within me and a build up of something else.
I then said to Wolf, this time with a more serious tone in my voice, "Eat. The. Plant."
However Wolf continued to disrespect me by saying with a smug look on his face, "How about you eat that shit instead. I'm not a pony after all. I have standards. And besides, I have a busy schedule of eat, sleep, and shit ahead of me. I can't let little garbage like that ruin my diet.
I then told him with a stern look in my eyes as I took one step forward while giving him the stinky eyes, "Eat the fucking plant plant Wolf."
Wolf then said as he was starting to lay back down as he continued eye at me and give me a sneaky little smile and a side glance, "Oh yeah.. and what are you're going to do about it? Why don't you just buzz off and have yourself a good time with the royals while I get some more sleep and get better so I can have a good time... huh?"
I then said as my head lowered down a bit to the ground while still eyeing Wolf and taking another step forward towards him, "I said... Eat the damn fucking plant Wolf. I didn't waste all that time fishing that out in a cave for you to just throw it away. Don't me make me do this."
Wolf then said as he put his back to me in his bed and I was looking at the back of his head while also throwing his head a back, "Make me."
I then raised my head up a bit with a bit of wide, glowing eyes filled with anger as I asked him, "What did you just say to me!?"
Wolf then said in the same way as before while still throwing his head back a little bit with a small smug smile on his face, "Make me eat the plant... you buzzkill... "
That did it. Every rational thought and reasonable action that I had done up till then to try and be nice towards him and trying to make the best of everything... out the window. I was done. I kind of lost it and started to get a little crazy you could say. I started to listen a little bit to the voices in my head from earlier as I then scream real loud, just not loud enough for others to hear thanks to the thick walls and all. You could probably get away with bloody murder in these kind of room due to the soundproofing. Being royal and living among them must really have it's perks. no one can hear you scream in the rooms. Isn't that funny? he he...
Anyways, I then yelled at him with fury I my heart as I then said, "Eat the damn mother fucking plant you wooden piece of shit!"
As I yelled that out to Wolf, I started to charging towards him and grabbed the healing plant with my magic while pouncing on Wolf. As Wolf did that, his eyes glowed in surprised and his little smug smirk disappeared into shock as he didn't quite expect me to go ape shit on him like that. But it was too late for him as I had the advantage on him as I quickly got to his bed, put both of my hooves on him and forcibly turned him around to face me with his face looking up at me. I then used the magic holding the plant to bring it near him. I then used both of my pony hooves to then pry open Wolf's mouth with heavy force and then used my magic to place the plant into his mouth.
From there, I then stuck my right hoof and shoved it down his throat literally and made him eat the damn thing. Don't worry, this doesn't count a animal abuse. One, it ain't Earth so fuck off. Second, his kind were... different... and therefore doesn't have any rights. Like... drinking from the same water fountain as us I think... even though he still did it anyway... that wooden bastard... And third... he was made of wood, he doesn't feel that kind of stuff. And that's not just from him, he has done this kind of thing with Molestia and others when they do some rough kinky sex and the other one is choking him. He doesn't feel anything... he's made out of woooooooooooooooooooood... So if anything I might have gotten Wolf off with my shoving it down his throat.
Anyways, after I had shoved food down throat and probably got him horny maybe... I don't... Wolf was making gagging sounds, almost as if he was choking on the plant and with my hoof being down his wooden throat. But I'm pretty sure he was just faking it... I think... Wolf then put both of his front wooden paws on me and with all of his strength, he then heavily pushed me away as he then said to me with a bit of an annoyance in his eyes.
After he got me off of him and I stumbled a bit backwards, he yelled out towards me, "Get off of my you dick!"
I then yelled out to him while pointing my right hoof at him, "Well sorry Wolf. But I'm not going to stand idly by as you sit there and throw away the shit that I went out and got for you! The hell is your problem!?"
Wolf then said to me as he pointed at me with his right wooden paw and an angered look on his face, "My problem, what the hell is your problem!? I TOLD you that I didn't need this crap! I'm doing just fine on my own."
I then started to get frustrated with him as I then said, "F-F-Fine!? You... ungrateful son of a bitch! I went out to get you something to make you get better and this is how you treat me!? After all of these years that we have been together!?"
Wolf then said as he calmed down on his look and he closed his eyes and he pointed at me with his left wooden paw, "Maybe you're the ungrateful on here Knight. I'm the one who's trying to have a good time so I can get better while you're the one who isn't seeing the bigger picture here."
Wolf opened back up his eyes and shunned me away as he then simply went back into his sleeping position and had his back towards me.
Wolf then said to me as I continued to give him the stink eye at him, "Why don't you cool down a bit and think about you did and then come back to me. you're being such a buzzkill right now man."
I then said back to him in frustration as my veins could be seen just a bit along with my wide, angered eyes towards Wolf, "Buzzkill!? you're the buzzkill here!"
I then stormed out of the room with heavy stomp from my pony hooves and went turned off the lights and clamming the door behind me. And for a few seconds, Wolf was by himself in the room, not saying a single word. But after a few seconds, I rushed back in briefly and quickly opened the door and turning on the light said to him lastly, "You wooden...piece of... fucking shit..."
ad then from there I closed the door with a bit of a thud and turned the lights back off. I didn't feel like talking to him. And to be fair, he was right. I needed to cool down in hindsight and that's what I did. I went to have dinner with the two royal sisters... but this time with less edginess... trust me, I promise this time around...
So I headed down the hall as usual, down the sitars, went into the area with the three doors, and went through the dining room. Once I opened it, Celestia and Luna were already in their spots, with their plates full with what they desired that evening to fill their stomachs, with lit candles among the table to make it look a little nice. You know, that fancy candle dinner light. That kind of fancy dinner setting where you just look at the candle and wonder if you were to do someone dirty on the table... would the candle fall over and set you on fire? And would you use the wax to lube yourself up? Some hambone skeleton would probably use the hot wax to wax his carrot to the fact that he is waxing his carrot to hot wax... yeah...
Anyways, I'm not sure why lit candles would make it any better, to me it looked like shit, crap, whatever you call it, I didn't see the importance of the candles. Unless of course you're trying to wow a female and try to bang her on the same night. Or perhaps it's a wife who has a nice little meal for your anniversary, and all you do is cheat on her with another young woman that's possibly a blonde or you just don't care about your marriage, so your wife ends up leaving you and taking the kids. That's what the candles are to me. That or maybe the chick that you cheat on her with is a red head. Red heads aren't too bad, but you must question if they are human to begin with. Although Burnets are questionable to cheat on someone with. It either needs to be a blonde or maybe a red head. So then it becomes a red herring. A sexy one that you wouldn't mind dying for.
However, with Celestia and Luna, they thought it would be nice to have it, but I didn't say a single word about it as I walked in there, like it ain't shit. I walked on in there like I owned the place. I was the boss! Ok that was a lie. I just walked in with an awkward look on my face. There was also an awkward sense of silence. No fancy music playing in the background or anything. It was just a silent dinner with some guards nearby and... that was it. I had a bit of a worried look on my face since I didn't know what was going to happen. They were also not eating and were waiting for me to enter and have my seat. And while they were waiting, Luna was having a worried look on her face while Celestia was still giving me the stinky eyes as I walked in. They were like that sometimes. They always were trying to give some sort of respect I guess. Maybe it's just the proper thing to do when it comes to the royal family. It's in their blood I suppose. Although I wasn't sure what she was giving me the stinky eye still though. It's like... get off my back bitch. Besides, it's the not proper, royal thing to do now is it?
Then again what is proper anyways? What's the point? It's like being a professional, something else that I never got in my many years of life. What was the point of having professionals.
I just never got it at all. I mean, I get it. Professionals and doing certain things the proper way is important. They don't call them the pros for nothing after all. But at the same time all pros are not equal. Some pros want to see kick down the ladder so others can't climb up with them... metaphorically of course. And literally, that just means they are a dick. Like fuck you, I want to get up on that roof too you know. That's my roof that you're on... get down from there...
Either way, some proper professionals will always fuck you over one way or another. And to top it off, they will get a big ego too from it. And an ego like that will only lead to trouble and down a darker rabbit hole than you wish to know about. It can only get worse from there. And for the ones that aren't pros? Well, they get the honor of licking the crumbs of whatever the pros give them. And it get to the point where they contemplate of weather or of taking a gun and painting the wall behind them with their brains. And then their souls get taken by the darkness of nothingness as the void swallows them whole.
And the pros... they are still alive. They still get to walk around, living and breathing, nothing giving a fucking shit about anyone else. They put their boot on your neck and demand that you listen to them. That they are the ones in charge. They won't let you free. They won't you live in your own world. Your world is theirs now. And there is nothing that you can do to stop unless you break them first by taking everything away from them and leave them with absolutely nothing left to live for. You leave them weak and helpless and a gun in their right hand with a bullet on the chamber and just leave in the woods so no one can hear the bang that blows them away.
What was I writing again? Sorry, I kind of... blacked out there... some voices I think. Uhhh... anyways, my point was... I didn't like it being proper the way that Celestia and Luna were waiting for me to eat. Not to say I didn't mind it every now and then, but I didn't see a point why they had to wait for me to enter the dam room. Besides it made me feel a little weird. It's not like I was one of them or anything like that.
Anyway, I didn't say a word, I just sat down with my plate already full, and we started to eat, with a couple of guards in the room. No one spoke up while we were eating, nothing at all. It was just silence aside from the sound of us eating. And we were eating some real fancy, high class food... soup... with some chunky stuff in it... Imagine the chunky, soft, mystery food that could be in a soup because I couldn't tell you what it was My taste buds couldn't tell the difference since it was the fancy kind of food. You know? It was rich and filled with some kind of saucy stuff in it. But it didn't make me gag or anything. Nope. Although it was rude to not say grace I must say. You must always thank Mooo-loch for your food. And that's Mooo as in cow cause Moo-loch is... just a regular cow that can do somethings... ALL HAIL MOO-LOCH!
Anyways, it was driving me crazy just listening to everyone just eating their food, hearing the food being chewed in their mouths. Just hearing the smacking sounds of their tongue and their lips smacking together almost like two old fucks slapping their meats against each other. The straight kind of meats, and not the gay kind. We never talk about the gay kind. Mostly because it's gay...but it started to get on my nerves with the smacking. Granted, their mouths were closed, but the sound of smacking and facking echoed into my pony ears. It irked me to my very soul... or to my ear drums. Either way, it was very annoying. Thankfully, Celestia spoke up before I ended up putting a bullet in each in our heads due to the sounds of the two eating their meals.
Celestia asked Luna and I with a bit of spite towards us in her voice, especially towards me as she didn't even look at me when asking and all I had was a little worried look on my face, "So... I don't suppose there's anything going on that's special in a few days?"
Luna then said with a sad look in her eye and a slight sigh, almost as if she was disappointed and was bored with her royal duty life, "I'm afraid not, just what we usually do everyday and that is all."
Celestia then said while giving a slight nod and closing her eyes with a gentle tone in her voice, "Alright then."
The silenced then returned as Celestia went back to eating her meal. Her and Luna were lifting up their forks and knives with their magic from their glowing horns and taking their time, smacking the food to tiny little bits for their big ol' mouths. Sort of the perks of being a unicorn. Trust me, we're the master race, and not the filthy middle class Pegasi and the peasant Earth Ponies... but then again Celestia and Luna were all three so you got me there. But the silence was still too defeaning for me to handle. So to break up the cloudy mood in the room, I started up a conversation.
I had asked them with a slight hopeful smile on my face and trying to turn things around for once, "Then why not make something happen?"
Both of the sisters looked up at me with their bright alicorn eyes, wondering what I was talking about. Celestia looked confused but also a bit annoyed with my statement while raising an eyebrow towards me. But Luna looked like she had an idea what I was getting at with what I was saying, but at the same time not really as she tilted her head to the side just a tad.
Celestia then looked at me with her gaze and asked me in curiosity while raising one of her hooves up towards me, "And what do you propose we should make happen then Knight?"
I then sat there like a bump on a log, trying to think of something that we could start all together. I just looked down at the white clothed table and at my food as I stared dumbfounding into open space, trying to think of an answer to Celestia. I didn't really have a plan for what to say next. I just of blurted it out of my mind. I figured if things were going to be better for me and in my world and to be on the right path... at least for myself, I could at least start to try to do something a little different and did what Wolf always did and have fun with whatever. But that still didn't leave me with answer to give to Celestia and Luna as I had put myself into a corner of what to say next. All I did was drone on and said, "uhhhhhhh," for a solid minute while looking downwards on the table.
I then spoke up while giving a look of what little hoped that I had left with a small glint in my eyes and said to her, "Well, we could always start up another festival."
Celestia then said to me with a soughed look on her face as she snubbed at me; along with me trying to to continue to eat my meal, "I do believe we have enough festivals in Equestria Knight."
Celestia then took a drink of her tea, since she was the one for tea. I tried to eat my meal, but I just couldn't because the conversation we were trying to have was getting a little bit more heated than I had anticipated.
I then said to her with a rough look starting to form on my face, "Well... perhaps something else then. Maybe a race or competition or..."
Luna then spoke up while raising her right forearm up and a small smile on her face that said she was a little nervous that was going on in the current conversation and said, "We already have the Equestria Games Knight. That wouldn't work at all. And besides, even if we did that, we would have to organize the event, fill out papers, set the rules, and even form a committee for it. It would just be too much work. Perhaps something else can be done to make something happen, something more small and humble perhaps?"
I then said, while giving a growing tone of anger and frustration and my eyebrows starting to slant, "Well maybe we should do something fun together... just the three of us then. Have you ever though about that yet?"
Celestia then said while not changing any of her mood while talking, "Well, we could always do something like that, but it would have to be when Luna and I are not at work or busy. At the moment, we barely have time to do what we want. Although I suppose we could always invite her when she's available, but she's very busy just as much as we are."
I then continued to be annoyed by their answers that didn't contain a single positive answer to my ideas. Luna was starting to notice where this whole conversation was going as well as Celestia starting to form something within her as well. And it was going all the way downhill... more down than Ground Zero... on the moon... where Space 9/11 happened... in some universe... Space 9/11, Never Forgetti...
I then said while raising my right hoof up almost like it was in protest, "Well... maybe we should just make something up that'll change things up a bit, but not to the point where it's different and it'll end up messing with what we do... I'm sorry, what you two do, since I don't even do jack around here and see no fucking purpose!"
Celestia then said very quickly towards me as she snapped and had a an angered look on her face, "Watch your language Knight!"
I then got up from my spot and pounded the table with my hooves with all my pony might and looking down at the table, "FUCK YOU CELESTIA! I'm just trying to help for once, but you keep shooting my ideas down like always! Where's your fucking sense of doing something different for once! Why does it always have to be the same around here. At least make it fun here. If you're going to keep me, at least let me make the best of it. Or else you two can right the fuck off."
Celestia then said to me with a growl in her voice, as Luna was not saying a word and watching the both of us argue and trying to keep it together herself with a nervous little smile, "Well perhaps maybe you should wake up and realize what kind of world that you in! If we do something different, it can have a change to almost everything that we do around here Knight! I'm sorry that this isn't the world that you're used to, where everything is different all the time. But this is how we do it here! This is the path that we are on and our world, not yours! And if you wanted to, you can be apart of that, but only if stick to our path!"
I then said to her while being slightly taken aback and wide eyes with a mad look in my eyes, "My world!? You think that was my world, all I did was go with change! There was nothing stopping it! I tried to be on my own path! I tried to go with my destiny or fate or whatever you fucking call it! I don't care. I went along with it all. And All I got out of it was nothing. Fucking nothing! So why should I give a crap about your world! I tried being with your world. But by now, I think I would rather being on my path and be in my own world. How about I just do that and leave! Out the door I go, whether you two stop me or not! I don't care anymore what you two think or what she even thinks! At least then I'll be making the best of it that way! And besides, I don't even do anything around here, while you two just do your shit everyday! Why not live a little, go nuts... you two doing what you do everyday would make me blow my brains out and never wanting to go back to her. I would rather be in hell than do that every day."
And I take that last bit back. Thinking about it some more as an after thought, I think I rather be in Brazil than in Hell. At least then you have the gangs of raping monkeys and a giant Jesus statue that watches whatever you do... even in the bathroom. I am not ashamed of what I do in there. The giant Jesus statue can kiss my ass if it doesn't like it.
Anyways, then Celestia said, as she put her hooves on the table, making a slamming sound out of anger as a response to my comment, pretty much one uping me, "Is that why you refuse to join us besides us while we live in our worlds? Is that why you act up and not changing for the shake of our world like how you're supposed to do, because you think it's boring? Because you rather be on your own path!?"
Then I said to her, while giving her a good long look in the eyes, while slight squinting at the same time and taking a few steps towards her with my pony legs and looking up at her, "Well.. yes... yes it is the reason. Along with other reasons. But it is so I can stay on my own path! You two keep me cooped up in here and not allow me to leave or even go back to Stalia. Well I'm sorry that I'm not doing whatever it is that you want me to do for the shake of your world, but I have my own to worry about! And nothing is going to be done about it if I just sit here with you two all day and do nothing. I know you want me to change for your world you can all be on a certain path. But I can no longer take it here! I need to be on my own path and that is final. Not on yours, but mine and mine alone! The path that I want to take. Not the path that you want me to be on!"
I had said it all while keeping my head up high and saying the words with all my might. I had my chest out and pointed at Celestia as well. And I looked straight dead into her eyes as I was saying it too.
But then at the last second I then drooped my head down a little bit while still trying to look at Celestia and have an almost cynical look in my eyes, "And also because it's fucking boring around here too."
Then Celestia said to me with a huff in her voice, "Well I'm sorry to say this, but not everything is going to be fun. Something's are going to be repetitive and boring, but it needs to be that way sometimes, as life doesn't revolve around things being fun. And sadly for you, your path that you need to be on that we have set for you will involve this. Why can't you just move on and accept this is your fate? You need to do this. Don't just do it for the shake of our world but for yours as well. This can only benefit the both of our worlds. And it can only get better if you would just try and listen to us for once instead of pouting like a little colt. So why not change your path and be better?"
I then said to her, while gathering up my strength and trying to keep my pose and posture while not trying to look weak in front of her, "You know... with what has happened to me, I should give up... I should join you two and and change my path to the path that you want me to be on despite all the rough times that I've been through. I've seen death, destructions, children seeing their parents die in front of them with them being slaughtered as well, or parents losing their children and then blowing their brains out. I've seen humans and ponies burned alive, been through different worlds beyond a mere human's imagination, that sadly couldn't use it because of their ability to not even care about it."
Celestia then quickly cut me off while squinting a little bit towards me as she said dead straight to me, "No you haven't."
I then rolled my eyes a little bit and said with a dull, cynical face while waving my left hoof around a little bit," Ok I might have been exaggerating there a little bit, but you get the point... I've been through a lot of shit for many years. A lot of shit not even ninety nine percent of people back on Earth would even think twice of ever seeing, let alone imagining or having a concept of it on. I've seen a lot and done a lot But you know what the one thing that I have that doesn't make me give up?"
She then asked me, while she too squinted her eyes, wondering what I was going to do next while I was about to do something, "What is it?"
I then said to her while giving her a nice little smirk on my face while having that mad look in my eyes and whispered to her in a low tone of voice, "I never give up you bitch."
I slowly looked towards her. And then without a single thought in my head, I lunged forward at her, across the floor and around the table just a bit, as it wasn't too long in space that was between us and punched her as hard as I could in the face. I was lucky enough to hit her, as I hit her good, real good in the face. I might have even seen a little blood, as she is very tough to even get a drop of sweat out of her. She fell backwards and onto the floor, as I acted swiftly. She didn't even see it coming at all. And of course why did I do this? I don't know, but it felt like something else deep inside of me was taking over and controlling my action. It was almost that I was being put into a trance while somebody else was doing the work and thinking for me. Yet I was wide awake and saw everything laid before me.
I ended up on the other side of the table near Celestia, ready to strike another hit to Celestia as she lied on the floor, all defenseless and helpless. And the thing was, a little thing inside told me that I could do it... take a gun or a sword or whatever... and kill her. It would be just that easy. An easy, open target for me to take advantage of.
It was an opportunity that I almost could not resist, if it hadn't been that other part that was still there that was nice and kind and didn't want to hurt Celestia. That part of me that was still in control and want to back down and just runaway. So while shaking my head a little bit, I tried to break free of what I was doing.
But the mad look in my eyes and the voice, it was still there. And it didn't want to leave as it said to me, "NO."
So without much resistance, I went up to Celestia, ready to punch her some more, but then Luna used her magic and captured my hoof in a pose in mid strike, so it wouldn't hurt Celestia. I turned around the best I could with my head to see Luna and she didn't look too happy, but not as mad as Celestia would be though. If anything, she just looked a little sad and heartbroken from my actions. And soon the mad look in my eyes was slowly going away and I was starting to have a look of regret form on my face.
She then said to me while having white eyes and looking a little bit down and yelling in the Cantorlot voice of hers, "That is enough Knight! I will not have this happen again where you two wreck the dining room like last night! Please refrain yourself, for both your shakes"
As she said that, Celestia slowly got up from the fall and looked a little dazed as she rubbed her forehead with her right hoof. She then looked over to me and she was not happy either, but looked more disappointed than Luna was. She just looked dead into my eyes while saying without having to speak that she as going to have to think about what I've done and perhaps a suitable punishment for me. That or just a little salty for me punching her right in the face. Yup... I think I knew a guy once in some other universe that did that. I think it was TD or some shit like that... nice guy... too bad he died in the blaze of glory after I accidently shot up the place. You can blame the Cow Tippers for that one... the other ones, the more low tier ones, not the regular ones that I commonly mention.
Anyways, she then said to Luna with a hopeful, warm smile on her face, "Thank you sister."
She then snapped her head around towards me and immediacy had a sour look grow on her face as she said to me, "As for you Knight... go to your room and do not come out for the rest of the night."
I then said, as Luna let me go and I fell to the ground with a mixed look of regret and sourness, on all fours of course, "So... I'm being sent to my room without supper... is that it?"
She then told me, "Well apparently that seems to be the case. However, if you didn't act the way you did, you wouldn't be sent to your room... Now get to your room... now..."
She looked at me really hard in the eyes, as if she was going to make sure I suffer the worst that anyone couldn't suffer if I didn't do what she said. I slowly turned around and headed towards the door. And in a way, I felt all alone. I felt like my only friend now was nothingness, or at the very least the darkness that was the night. I felt... like I was on my own now. And then some word filled my mind and some thoughts started to pop out.
So right before I opened the door to go out the dinning room and left, I turned around with a look of determination yet sadness and said to Celestia, "You know... Celestia... you're treating me sometimes, like you're my mother... I've somewhat noticed that lately. Same thing can be said for TK, he treats me like a father... a real bad father that leaves me and never comes back even though he promises to come."
Celestia then said as she took a step towards me, but calmly saying while still giving me the stink eyes, "Well... maybe for you it's a good thing that I act like your mother... at least then you might start to think twice about your action and lean to be on your own path."
I then said to her, "Yeah... my own path. I'm going to just go on my own path and never come back."
Celestia then said to me while giving me a scowling look on her face as she slightly turned her head and gave me a slid glance, "You better not..."
I then said to her, "Just watch me try. Maybe not now, but eventually I will. And I'm never coming back to your world. I'll be in my own world. And it'll be for me and me only for once. And not for the shake of your own world.
I then walked back to my room... silently, without a disturbance. I even closed the door behind me to the dining room without a single sound, as Celestia and Luna just watched me go out the door without a single other comment. Of course I had eaten some food, but not that much. So it was going to be a bit of a bothersome to me, even as of right now but eh... I've done worse... like smoke a midget like a cigar. Not healthy I tell you what. You never know where that midget has been.
Anyways, I headed up the stairs and into my lovely room. It was dark so I turned the lights on and saw Wolf was still chilling like always. But I then slammed the door and he turned around to me. He then gave out a slight yawn and then looked up to see me with his dumb little smile to be greeted with a sour cynical look on my face.
He then said to me while twisting and turning to face me and still being a little bit sick in his voice, "Oh... hey Knight. Something the matter?"
I then told him while looking down on the ground, "None of your business Wolf... just... fuck off for now ok?"
Wolf then said while he was trying to tease me, "Well a certain someone still sounds grumpy to me. Sounds like you haven't taken my advice yet."
I then said to him while taking a slight step towards him and getting a little grouchy towards him, "Well, I'm trying Wolf. But damn it... it's so damn fucking hard right now. I wish they would at least listen to me and what I had to say!"
Wolf then said to me while looking like he was drugged out of his mind, "Well sometimes you just need to others their space and just let them chill and relax and give them some time to think. You can't ruin someone's good time Knight... or else you won't get anywhere with that kind of thinking."
I then rolled my eyes at him and turned my head slightly and said as I was walking towards his direction calmly, "Whatever you say Wolf..."
I then headed towards my window that was near Wolf and opened it with my magic from my magical unicorn horn.
However, Wolf saw this and had a surprise look grow on his face and he then asked me, "Whoa whoa whoa... where are you going? The party is over here... remember?"
I then said to him with a surprised look myself and a slight higher tone of voice than what Wolf had while I pointed at him with my left hoof, "Where do you think I'm going? You should know very well by now where I'm going."
Wolf then said to me while raising his left about as I looked back into his green filled eyes... because that's how his eyes were..., "Well... what about this morning?"
I then said to him while taking a step back from the window and moving my right pony forearm around and pointing at myself, "This morning? Look, what happened this morning doesn't mean shit to me. I could break a thousand wooden tables and I wouldn't care. If worse comes to worse... I don't know but I'll probably do something drastic... maybe..."
Wolf then asked, while acting with a little shocked face while still retaining his smile, "Are you sure that is even a good idea Knight? They sounded pretty pissed when they found out you broke your little curfew..."
I then said to him while waving him off, "Oh piss off Wolf. I don't give a shit if they are a bit pissy with me. They can suck my left nut sack for all I care. All they need to know is that I am here and you're here to pretend that I'm asleep or something or whatever. Ok, they're not my parents. I can do what I want, when I want.... I just... can't let them know that I'm leaving the castle grounds is all... at night... hmmm..."
I then started to roll my eyes a bit and put my right hoof to my thinking, thinking about what I was saying to Wolf.
As I was thinking to myself, Wolf then asked me wile closing his eyes and giggling as if he was high, "He... he... he... you said suck your left nut sack... tat's kind of funny..."
I then cut Wolf off and told him, while looking a bit cynical and pointing at him with my right hoof and lowering my head just a bit "Hey, don't take it that wrong way. I know all you think what I say sometimes is just sexual references, but it ain't that way. I'm not clopper... on the hand... you are... "
Wolf then said to me while opening back up his eyes and started to look a bit relaxed, "Oh yeah, you bet your ass that I am. From what you told me, I would be clopping with al the other cloppers and a clopping circle jerk all day and all night back on Earth. That sounds like my kind of people."
Wolf then gave me an almost sly looking smile on his face when he had said that.
I had then said to Wolf while rolling my eyes at him, "Yeah I know you would you fucking pervert. And I bet you fuck anything that moves too..."
Wolf then calmly said to me, "Who says I don't... you know... as long as it's the opposite sex. I don't swing that way. I have my standards."
I then said to him while just being plain cynical by that point as I was turning around towards the window, "Coming from you, I'd think you would swing three sixty."
After talking to Wolf, I then climbed up and through the window with my pony legs. And out the window I was and back outside, coming back to you (sort of) live from my journal... I'm live... in your head right now... I can hear all of your thoughts. You should be ashamed of yourself. At least I have standards. You disgust me... whoever you are. But that was basically it for me as I headed down the castle and di my usual thing and headed outside to enjoy my night.
However, there was something that I didn't know of when I left until I took a quick look back right before writing this to you right now. With my magic of course. IT is beyond your understanding. Not long after I had left, Luna had knocked on my door. And Wolf's head perked up and was curious to see who was at the door. But he didn't say a word and just let whoever it was on the other end speak. But of course it was Luna... but he didn't know that. Be patient with him... he's made of wood.
Luna had said aloud with a bit of sadness and concern in her voice for me, "Knight, may I come in please? Knight... I'm sorry it had to happen that way earlier. You just need to understand that you need to learn to be on the right path. The right path for all of us, at least do for it yourself. It isn't your world that I'm worried about. It's our world too. I know you may be mad at us, but please see our way and understand. Knight? Knight!?"
She wasn't getting any response at all. It was just dead pure silence and that started to concern her that I wasn't responding... mostly because I wasn't there but still. Either way I'm dead... both on the outside and inside. That's a very good value pack right there. But Wolf didn't respond either. Mostly because that was his care free nature. He would rather jack it than respond, eve if it meant saving the world. Then again he still cared... just... in his own way.
Anyways, since there was no response coming from the other side of the door, she started to get worried. So she then forced the door open by pushing it open with her magic almost as if the door was like paper, because was an alicorn after all of course. She was a big, strong alicorn that was probably bigger than me in some sort of way. But not in that way of course. I'm talking about the other way.. Not the usual way that you're thinking of right now. You know... the opposite of the normal way. But I should be specific and say that it's the other other way, and not the third way from the highway. You know... that way. That way is wrong no matter what you do, so it's the more simple way of my way. What?
Well, she opened and didn't see me anywhere, but she wasn't sure what had happened. She saw Wolf, but she just kind of ignored him as Wolf just continued to chill like it was nothing in his little bed of his. However with Luna, she scanned the room and looked confused, yet worried still. She was worried about me was all and she wondering where I was. And then thoughts started to enter her mind and wonder if something bad had happened to me. The thought started to haunt her mind just a little bit. But before that thought could consume her, she shook her head real quick and went quietly over to Wolf who had his back turned on her.
She then got close to Wolf from behind and lowered her head down while gently tapping her left hoof on his left shoulder while she quietly said to him in his wooden ears, "Wolf... Wolf... Uh... Wolf?..."
Wolf was then startled a bit, but not by a lot, just a tad bit as he then quickly turned and rolled on t his wooden stomach. Once his eyes met Luna's eyes as he looked up to her, he had his sly little smile on and showed some of his Timber Wolf like teeth to her, almost as if this was all casual like. However Luna just continued to look worried and wanted some answers.
Wolf then said to her in his laid back tone while still sounding somewhat sick in his little bed, "How ya doing there moony? What's up?"
Luna then asked Wolf as she raised her head back up and had a hint of concern in her voice, "Yes... how are you feeling? You don't seem to be that sick from what I see... perhaps the herbs have started to heal quickly?"
Luna started t have a slight smile on her face, a little smile of hope thinking that the medicine was really good and did it's proper thing.
But then Wolf ruined this little special moment with her as he then said while rolling on his back playfully, "Nah, 'm still a bit on the weather. But I do think the crap that Knight shoved down my throat is starting to make me feel a little... high..."
Wolf then raised his eyebrows up and down in a teasing fashion.
Luna then slightly raised her right hoof up to her face a bit and asked him while scanning him, "Then why does it look like you're not that sick? It appears that you have healed from what ailed you."
Wolf then spoke up while getting up to his wooden ass with a smile and waving his right wooden arm a bit towards Luna, "Oh no. I'm sick and all, I'm just trying to heal my way is all. Kicking back, relaxing, and having a good time the only way I know how... "
Luna was then taken aback by this just a bit as she then said with a slight smile, "Oh, so you're using more spiritual methods then. I suppose that is fair."
Wolf then said to her while leaning a little bit towards her direction, "Yeah, it sure is... my way that is... he he he...."
You can tell he medicine was anything that could numb his sense and whatever can make him see some far out shit.
Wolf then said back to her while being all cool like to her, "So... what's up?"
She then asked him while placing her right hoof to her face and looked worried as she remembered why she was there to begin with, "I'm trying to find Knight, do you know where he might be at?"
Wolf then said while looking down towards the ground with his lazy smile and said, "Well... I'm not sure... he didn't stop by or anything like that... he might just be outside or something, like in the garden maybe. I really don't know, he's weird sometimes."
Wolf then looked back up to Luna's eyes with still his smile put on with no indication that he was lying at all while swaying his right arm to the side, "I think he's just trying to learn from the best and have a good time and make the best of his problems."
Luna looked like she didn't believe him... not at first at least. Through her mind, she was wondering if Wolf was trying to cover me. She knew I shouldn't be going out so late. I needed to stay on the path. At the very least stay on my path for my world. And if I was disobeying them once again, I was going to go off the path, and it wouldn't be helpful to my world or theirs either. But then after thinking about it some more and what Wolf said, maybe he was right. Her body started to relax a little bit. And a genuine smile formed on her face. In her mind, she knew that wherever I was, I was close by. Perhaps hidden, but safe and everything was going to be just ok. But a bit of doubt still lied within her, questioning the legitimacy to everything that was going on and with my honesty. But she didn't let it get to her and put it aside.
Luna then said with a small hopeful smile, "Right... well, if you see him, just tell him that I would like to talk to him."
Luna then turned around and headed for the door.
As Luna was heading out the door, Wolf closed his eyes and smiled and then said with a smiling confidence and turning his head to the side, "Got it!"
Luna then closed the door and left Wolf alone. Wolf on the other hand was was ready to go back to sleep and go back to hanging out and just chilling.
But before he did, he quickly changed his smiling to an irked look and looked out the window and said to himself, "Knight... you owe me one you son of a bitch..."
And then he went back to whatever eh was doing before Luna had came in... which now leads me to the part where I continue the story of my life. We leave off to me writing to you all. Isn't that just something?
Now I know it took quite some time, but this is what happened today before getting to the story of my life, and I thought to myself, 'Wow... a lot happened today... maybe I should write it in the book... it was a lot... and I still have a lot of ink with me... it couldn't hurt... especially those sexy pancakes... oh yeah... hope I get to have those one morning again... then I'll eat those sexy pancakes and have some milk with it... warm milk that is. Yeah...now we're getting some where... and it'll be better with some clams... I wonder how clams taste like?'
Well that's what I thought at least. And eyes people... we're just starting the story of my life, at least continuing where we left off. Well, sort of, but you get the idea though.
Yeah... that was a lot... but I figured I did it last time, it wouldn't hurt... right? ..... Don't give me those stink eyes. Look, I... will you let me talk? Huh? Ok... let me finish my thought here.
Now I know to you humans, this is a lot and ridiculous to you all, so all I'm going to say... shut the fuck up and just enjoy. However, to say my apologizes for it taking so long to get to this part, despite it being written for a reason... like eating sexy pancakes... I'll give you three jokes.
Joke number one: So a guy wakes up one morning, he's in high school and everything like that and he gets out of bed.
He realizes he has to get to school, so he slowly puts some sunglasses on and says, "Time to go to school."
So he ends up getting dress, in an epic way, along with grabbing a lot of guns, grenades, ammo rounds, all that typical school stuff. Then he heads out to the school and once he is standing on school grounds, he takes out a shotgun and does that reloading, sound, thingy, where it makes the clicking sound.
You rednecks should know what I'm talking about... or anyone that is against Obama and black people, and said, "Time to take out the trash."
And... he's taking out the trash. Like, he's on the side of the road and picking up trash that has been made and keeping the Earth green and shit... just like every teenager nowadays back on Earth.
And while he is picking up the trash, he still has his shit on, but then the principle walks out, with a smile on his face and says, "Well hey there Bobby, thanks for volunteering to pick up the trash and keeping the place clean."
Then the kid says to him also with a smile, "Oh don't mention it. I enjoy doing this kind of work and making my favorite school a happy and clean place, along with it being a bully free school as well."
Then the principle says, "Yes... well, thank you anyways. So, I see you're also going to get rid of your guns I see."
Then the kid says, "Yup... right after I kill you and everyone else in the school."
Then the principle says, "Yes that's the spirit and... wait what?"
Then the kid shoots the principle with the shot gun and... well he shoots up a school... the end... Now if you were expecting a punch line... well go and get you some Kool-aid punch then... and then wait for the Kool-aid man to break through your wall, bash his head in with a bat, and starting drinking his Kool-aid. In other words drink his blood and tea bag his dead body... and make sure there are no witnesses either. You don't want the police to capture you now, not after you killed someone... something.
Anyways, joke number two: How many carrots do you need to fuck in order to change a light bulb? Five... just five... and you stab a chicken... that's the joke.
All the clowns are laughing now... you... and they're puking their guts out now... because it was so funny... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... hilarious.
Joke number three: I wonder, I wonder how he raped a flashlight, he is John Green... you figure out the rest I mean... there's a joke somewhere in there... you just need to find it... and if you do, you get a prize... the toy that I got in a cereal box this morning. It's a piece of shit and you can have that piece of shit.
Now, did those jokes make everything better and the wait worth it? No... well... you can go fuck an acorn then and... watch it fly... I guess.
Well, I do suppose we should be getting to our thingy here, where I begin the story of my life. Now this part in my life in particular is for once where I spent mostly outside of Equestira and mostly on Earth... but it wasn't fun though. Oh well... well, where should we begin? I know... whatever happened to those kids Mac kidnapped? And whatever happened to Robot Jones?
Well I'll tell you what happened to Jones... he got raped son... he got raped up the butt with a dildo and he liked it... and then he banged a toaster and died, the end.
Anyways, as for what happened to the kids, well... we'll just start off from there since it seems like a nice place to start off with. But then again, where do we exactly start? Me waking up or with Mac?
Maybe with Mac since it makes sense to me. Well, as I recall... seeing it through a time... portal... thingy... that outside of the universe shit thingy that I do... you get what I mean. Well basically, we start off with this. It's a dark room with nothing that can be seen without turning on the lights.
However, there was one light, a headlight you can say... well, it was a headlight, or the light over the head. The thing that dangles and is kind of loose... like it has one straight line down and a little circle thingy. A Headlight... yeah... Something like that. And it was showing three little fillies... all tied up, sitting together, all huddled together, in a triangular shape type thingy, sitting in wooden chairs that good give really bad splinters. You know... like a splinter cell.
Did that work? Did you get it? No? Well, what do you expect? Anyways, and the floor was covered in hay and what not, something that you can start to figure out I would assume... if not... well how does it feel know? Anyways, they were all tied up and surprisingly they were almost gagged too, you know like a ball gag and it's red.
Not sure if it was going to be a weird thing... maybe a BDSM torture... maybe. I'm sure to some they kind find it kinky that a pony is tied up and is gagged and stuff... I'm sure some human being thinks that... and it isn't called a weirdo either? I'm sure it's called something else... like... little ponies or something like that. But don't worry... I'm sure 'somewhere' that kind of stuff isn't allowed. But then again... well there's really nothing to argue... it just mean the fillies were all tied up and something was going to happen to them.
But look on the Brightside, at least they will be prepared for the future... and have practice. That's good right? Practice makes perfect? Practice on learning on how to tie a rope? Well whatever, so the three fillies were all tied with rope of course, what else? Well... there's a lot, but we're talking about ponies, so really... nothing else to say there. Well, they were also knocked out, sort of sleeping in a way too.
I mean even Scootaloo was drooling all over the floor. Soon, they started to wake up as, all three of them at the same time. They soon started to look around as Scootaloo... I mean the chicken... gave a soft yawn instead of looking around. In fact she was still dazed and confused as to what was going on around her and her friends. Soon, all fillies were aware of what was happening to them.
Applebloom then asked out loud, "What happened?"
Then Sweetiebelle said, "I'm not sure, but this place does seem a little scary."
Scootaloo then butted in and gave her two worthless cents, "Where are we?"
As the three fillies were looking around...and not noticing they were all tied up...Mac's voice appeared, but only his voice. He said, "Oh... you're somewhere special."
Applebloom then looked down and noticed that her legs and arms were tied down. So did the other two did as well. Soon, Applebloom asked, "Why are we tied down?"
Then Mac said, as he remained invisible, "You know exactly why you're tied up."
Sweetiebelle said, "It's kind of tight around the arms a little."
Mac then said to the three little fillies, helpless fillies, "Well, it can be all better if you just tell me one little thing that I would like to know."
Then Scootaloo was silent for a bit, but she then blurted out, "Are we in a barn?"
I mean she did look down, hence why I said it should be assumed that they were in a barn... because of the hay and what not... because... I really don't know, ok?
Also, I'm starting to get suspicious that maybe Mac did make those rope tight on purpose. Anyways, Mac then said out in frustration, as he came slowly, walking into the light.
He even growled at first, "Son of a Macing bitch! Did Applejack tell you what happened?"
Applebloom saw Mac and was surprised. However, she didn't really know Mac too much and wasn't told much of why he was rarely seen around the farm that she lived on, so she had a smile on her face.
She said out loud, "Mac, is that you! I haven't seen you since I was four years old!"
Mac then said, more liked yelled at them, "Don't play dumb with me you three little filly fuckers! I know that you three are working for applejack. I've sent my top spies for the job and from what they collected was that you three smuggle from across the border from another country amazing apples up your assholes, so that no one sees you smuggling in these apples. That, and so you and Applejack can sell them too, and make billions of bits off of them! Well I am not having it! Tell me where the secret stash of those amazing apples are at and also point where the weak points in Applejack's house so I nay either set it on fire with her in it or destroy her house that may or may not kill her!"
Mac then grabbed out a blueprint of Applejack's home, along with a pencil and put it near Applebloom's feet... hooves, whatever it's called. Also, when Mac said spied... he meant by illegal Mexican pony workers that he hired to work for him. The Asian one were working in the barn that he was holding hostages and such in... and stuff.
Sweetiebelle, however spoke up and said, "Uhh... just to let you know, we have no idea what you're talking about. We were just there for a sleepover that Applebloom was having and we were just sleeping."
Scootaloo nodded in agreement with what Sweetiebelle said.
She then said to Mac, "Yeah, we have no idea what you're talking about at all. What are you talking about though?"
Scootaloo looked confused as well. Applebloom then said, "Yeah... and I can't really get that pencil with my hooves being tied and all."
Mac then was frustrated enough and he then said, "Uggggghhhhhh! This is useless! You're trying to play me like the fool that I am! Well no matter... Chi Chi! Electrocute these little filly bitches here until they give me what I want! I'll be waiting outside, drinking while trying to hit Shadow with empty beer bottles."
Mac then walked outside, as Chi Chi was standing next to an electric machine, holding the handle of the device that would electrocute others with his mouth. With Chi Chi, he just kind of stepped out of the darkness once his name was called as well.
After Mac had given his demands, Chi Chi said to him, "Yes sir!"
And so... the sort of torture was about to begin. And as Chi Chi was about to electrocute the three fillies, as the three fillies started to look scared and what not... we cut to me.
What? Trust me... it'll make sense... and not boring either. Well, I was in my bed, under the covers... completely, while Wolf was in his bed, sleeping.
To be more specific, to help those who complain a lot to get a better picture and to not use your imagination whatsoever, because this isn't even important at all, but those who complain will make a big fucking deal about it. In other words, Wolf was sleeping on his back, with his head hanging back on the edge of his bed, drooling on to the floor, because... he just does that.
Well, we were sleeping soundly, as I was all huddled and tucked into my covers, from head to toe that is... or head to hoof... whatever you call it, you get the idea.
Anyways, I was sleeping, and all of a sudden, Wolf awakens, as he also woke me up while doing so. Well, he spitted out a scroll, from Twilight who sent a letter for me.
As soon as Wolf got the letter, he jumped up from his bed and was pretty much awake. It's like going to your friend while he's sleeping., and then you grab, shake him violently, and yell right in his face 'Get the fuck up your lazy mother fucker!' It's sort of like that when you think about it. Well, the scroll fell on to the floor of course since I was unexpected for us to get a scroll early in the morning... and feeding it to the rats early in the morning. Well, Once Wolf was pretty much aware of what had just happening, he picked up the scroll... kind of but not really.
All Wolf did was use his paw and to see the emblem or cutie mark that is to see who the scroll was from and it was Twilight's cutie mark. Wolf saw it and then said, calmly and not in a rude voice, since he was just abruptly awoken by him puking something out of his mouth.
Also, I was still under my covers and didn't come out, and as for why I was like that, I just wanted some sleep, that's all... and I was just acting that for no odd reason at all I suppose.
well, Wolf said to me, "Hey Knight, you got a letter from, Twilight here. And I'm guessing it's somewhat important since she sent it this early... but then again Twilight is a lunatic, so it might not be important whatsoever."
I then asked Wolf while still being under the covers, "Can't you read it for me?"
Wolf then said, "I don't have that kind of magic, nor do I have hands, now come and read it for yourself... I'm trying to concentrate on having a wet dream."
Wolf then gently went into his bed and closed his eyes, as he tried to go to sleep... but I then said to him, "I don't wanna... I don't want to get out of this bed."
Wolf then said to me, "Yeah, you say that while I try to dream of eating my own cum... and then cumming when I'm sleeping."
I then asked Wolf, "Why do you that Wolf? Why do you eat your own cum, let alone eat your cum in your dreams that ends up making you cum in real life?"
Wolf then said to me, "I don't know and I don't question it, now shut up so I can concentrate."
And that question has never been answered. So to those who wanted to know why Wolf would constantly eat his own cum... I have no fucking clue... he just did what he did. I suppose you could say that was lazy of him for not trying to figure things out, but remember he's just a pile of talking sticks with magic inside of him... so really what do you expect from that? Do you expect him to do magic tricks? Well he can sort of do that. I mean... in the show Timber Wolves just ended up forming back together if they were destroyed... and with Wolf he kind of does... but he's different I should say, and it's a vague term to use, which means it can be a bad thing or a good thing, so let's just leave it like that. I'll let your imagination do the work... wait I forgot... not many of you have one... and demand an answer right now.
And so, my answer to you is 42, enough said. Anyways, I then gave a short, quiet shy, in which I then pulled the covers from my head and only my head was showing.
I had a tired look in my eyes you could say... like dark circles, but remember, I'm tired from the things that I've been through, and it was tiring. I mean, it was almost a non-stop train of things just happening.
Sure, they happened for a reason, but it just made things happen. Well, I then used my magic, as the magic glow formed around my horn and I concentrated on picking up the scroll that was left from Twilight.
In which case, I then had the scroll floated to me and to my bed. It then landed on my soft bed, Now why am I describing this to you might ask?
Because of reasons according to those type of people, now let's move on. Well, I then used my magic to unravel the scroll, and then opened it up to read the message from Twilight, which read this:
Dear Knight,
I am here to inform you that one of your friends is having a problem. Well, I should say the source of the problem. Applejack has told me that her little sister, Applebloom, along with her friends Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo have been missing and she said she saw Mac take them last night, along with typing them up and putting duck tapes on their mouths, in which she questions where he got it from since there was none nearby. Applejack has told me she is fed up with Mac, so she is gathering all of the Apple family to get the kids back, even if it means by destroying his farm. However, I told Applejack that I would talk to you to talk to your friend to give the children back, so no chaos may happen. If your friend does not give him back....well I'm not sure what might happen. So good luck Knight. Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle
Well I was a bit confused when I read it. I was still a bit dazed as I had just woken up and shit, but I slowly remembered what happened last night, and that is what happened.
I said to myself in a quiet tone while rolling my eyes just a bit, "Oh yeah... I forgot that happened... can't believe he did though. I guess he isn't too dumb, but still an envy asshole."
I then pushed the covers off me with my magic, what else would I use? I then hopped out of bed, and onto the floor while not caring about the scroll, as I already had the message well received in my head.
I then said to Wolf, well more or less asked him, "Alright Wolf... Mac is in trouble, and surprisingly enough I'm caring enough to safe his sorry ass. So are you coming or staying?"
Wolf didn't say a word, but what he was doing was having his eyes closed, and having his right paw on his wooden cock and was masturbating under the covers. He was also heavily breathing too.
I then gave a sigh and then headed for the door of my bedroom, saying to myself quietly, "Damn it and your sleep jerk offs."
Yeah... it's like sleep walking, but instead of walking, you're jacking off... but it's better than sleep raping though at least... where you just have sex. Well I suppose it would be called sleep sex then... because with rape, it's more or less of an aggressive way, and while you're sleeping, you're not so aggressive, just really horny... and to people that's a turn on... because... it's sexy.
But then again what isn't considered sexy in a way. I mean you can even have a sexy trash can... and then end up fucking it while you're sleeping, but in your dreams, you're dreaming about fucking a computer, while the computer makes love to your rabbit. And that rabbit would be considered sexy to the computer... because that rabbit has one fine ass. But then again that's what a computer thinks... so... whatever.
But you get the idea though... Wolf was sleep jerking off... or sleep masturbation, but you get the idea. Anyways, I headed out my room while grabbing my hat and satchel on the way out, closed the door behind me, and headed straight for Mac, because I'm sure he was already in trouble. Now back to Mac. That kind of rhymed. How funny... is that funny and family friendly enough for you? Or do you require a pun that is unfunny.
Alright then... maybe you do what a pun then... How do prisoners communicate in prison? They use CELL phones... are you laughing now? No? Well people will always stab you in the back one way or another. Or the consumer that is... well both... because they're the same fucking thing... anyways, We're on to Mac's view of the whole thing.
So Mac was in his house, while the three little fillies were being tortured by an Asian pony, kicking back and not worrying about a single thing. He was sitting in a recliner... chair type thingy, that was in the living room, along with the couch with the not-so-sure-dead father-or-not in the living room.
Seriously, I had no clue why Mac still thinks his father is still alive. Although I question what happened to the mother. Well... maybe it was like father like son, I'll just leave that theory out there for anyone to guess and think about. For now... muha ha ha ha... Anyways, Mac was holding a bottle of beer in his hands, slowly getting drunk.
He was talking, which you would assume to himself, but since he was in the living room, he was talking to the perhaps dead father, who was lying face down on the couch, not making a single move.
He was saying, "Well pa... I did it again. I captured someponies, asked them about Applejack, torturing them right now, and all I have to do is wait for the answers. And instead of letting them go, I'll do the thing that you taught me to do with captured ponies... give them something good to eat... and then kill them and hack them into bits and put those bits into some acid... while killing any witnesses that may have witnessed it. Which includes all the chickens. But that's alright, there's a cult nearby that's been wanting some chicken blood, so I can sell that chicken blood and we can buy some more chickens to murder and bath in their blood whenever I feel like getting drunk again. I'm doing you proud Pa."
Mac actually said that with a smile and looked like he was actually doing something good for once. Then Mac's little brother came in, with a worried look on his face, but he isn't the type for confidence either, I mean he had his big brother raise him... and partially the father too... what do you expect?
Anyways, Shadow walked into the living room from the kitchen and asked Mac, "Uhh... Mac... we're out off food... and I haven't eaten in two days."
Shadow's stomach then started to make a sound, a rumble you might say, a sign that he was starving and craving for just about anything that wasn't meat.
Shadow then said to Mac, "I'm hungry Mac... can't we just go and spend on your torture money just for once? I don't want to find rats again and eat them. They tasted terrible."
Mac looked annoyed by his little brother, in which he gave a slight sigh and then said to his little brother, straight into his eyes and said calmly while acting a bit snooty, "You see here Shadow... this is why you were Pa's least favorite child. So how about you become a real stallion and help me torture and make some food for some little fillies, just like how Pa taught us, kill them, harvest their organs, chop them up into tiny bits, and then dump the bodies into acid and killing all the chickens to sell to a nearby cult. If you don't act like a little bitch, I'll give you an apple that I filled with chicken blood for dinner."
Shadow then looked down, gave a slight sigh and then said, "Ok then... I'll do it then."
However, Shadow then thought to himself in his mind that he wasn't going to just eat a apples dipped in chicken blood... as that is what he has been fed for almost all his life, but he was going to go with his friend White and try and get some real food. Or perhaps his brother's friends would give him a nice little meal.
Neon did always offered him some cupcakes, but those cupcakes always tasted funny to him. And of course we all know what is in those cupcakes, but whatever. Well, then there was a knock on the door, which was me by the way... and Mac had an odd look on his face. A questionable one at that.
Mac then said to his little brother as he got out of his seat, "Shadow... stay in the kitchen and get the acid ready."
Shadow went into the kitchen and did what he was told to do which he was shown by his big brother Mac.
Mac then said to the father while holding his right hoof out towards him and looked a tad bit worried, yet angered, "Pa... stay back, this might not be Chi Chi with the three little fillies."
Then he waited for a response from the father, in which after a few seconds after some dead air, he said, "Good job Pa... just stay there and don't make a single sound."
Mac then put his bottle of beer down and went towards the door, in which case there was another knock by me, banging my hoof on his wooden door. Well, it wasn't really wooden, but you get the idea, one of those glass doors and stuff... whatever those are called.
I mean I never really learned anything what was properly called back on Earth... other than a lintel.
Anyways, Mac then asked out loud while he looked a bit worried, "Chi Chi!? Is that you!? Are you done with your work yet!?"
I then yelled out to him through the door, "It's Knight... not an Asian Jim Sturgess... now open up!"
Mac then said, while getting closer to the door and put his pony ears towards the door, "Before I do... did anypony follow you? Or any of Applejack's cult followers?"
I then said to him, "Nope... unless you count a very angry Apple Family mob that is led by Applejack counts... then yes... yes they followed me here. Now just open the damn door!"
Mac then looked a bit curious and then slowly opened the door to see me standing in front of the mob that was pretty much the entire Apple family, ranging from grandmas to cousins, to sisters, and to brothers. When Mac saw this... he was pretty shocked as to what he was seeing before him with wide eyes.
I then said to him with a dead look in my eyes, "They really want the three little fillies that you kidnapped. And I do mean that... or else they told me they are going to make you suffer the worst thing you could ever possibly imagine."
Mac then still had a shocked look on his face, in which he then grabbed me by my right forearm and quickly, as much as he could, drag me inside. Well... I mean he did get us off that cliff back in the Everfree Forest that one time, so I could imagine it was easy for him to pull me inside very quickly.
I mean, he does work out in the fields... of apples... he has to have some sort of strength. Anyways, he pulled me inside quickly, like a cartoon-ish style, but then again this Official My Little Pony universe did seem to have a mix of reality and some cartoonish style to it all. Well, he pulled me in and put me behind him. And right before he closed the door, Applejack was giving him the death stare with an angry face that said, 'I'm going to rip your heart out, fuck that heart, while you're being burned alive while fire ants that are literally on fire are eating you away, while a buffalo is shitting on you from all angles that has AIDs, while a fish is raping you in the asshole, you drink Buffalo Bill's anal juice...'
Yeah... something like that... well, she then yelled out, "Maaaaaaaac!"
Mac, with still a worried and shocked face, quickly slammed the door, in which he then grabbed whatever that was heavy enough to block the door. In which case it was basically a desk that was right next to the front door. And he basically tried to hold off the angry mob that instantly ran to his door and started to bang on the door with all their might.
In which case they all yelled out, "Give us back our fillies!"
Not in unison, but you get the idea, it's an angry mob and they obviously wanted something.
Anyways, I then said to Mac while putting my right hoof on his left shoulder while pretending to give a crap, "As your... sort of friend Mac... and surprisingly I am caring enough to say this to you... give back the fillies and they might just leave you alone in peace."
Mac then said to me, while giving me that always nice angry look at me as usual as he slightly tiled his head back in disgust... I mean he isn't called the Element of Envy for nothing, "I am never giving those three fillies back! I haven't gotten to the acid part yet dam it! I'm going to get that information out of them!"
I then said to him, in an arguing type of tone while I looked annoyed and I put my right hoof down, "First off, I don't want to know about the acid part. Second, what information do you think they have that you want?"
Mac then said to me, "They know where Applejack gets her Apples from and how she smuggles them into Equestria!"
Applejack then said, through the door, as the banging on the door continued as Mac continued to hold off the door as best he could, "I get the apples from the trees you darn imbecile!"
Mac then said angrily through the door as he looked annoyed as well, "I'm the imbecile? You're the imbecile that doesn't put chicken blood in your apples! You damn turnip ape!"
Then Applejack somehow busted through the wooden with all her strength like the Hulk, near the handle that Mac wasn't against and then forced the door open. Mac was then pushed to the ground, flat on his ass, and stared up as Applejack stepped a single hoof into his home as the angry mob was outside, waiting to make their move. Mac had wide eyes at him and was speechless for a few seconds as it had caught him by surprise.
Applejack was mighty angry at him and she said as low and angry as she could, "What did you just say Mac?"
Mac then said in a casual like tone, "I said I put chicken blood in my apples, what's the big deal?"
Applejack then said as he got up in his face, "I used some of those apples last year for Applebloom's birthday when I thought I would be nice to you and showed that we can still resolve our differences and use your apples..."
And then a few seconds of dead air settled in for some reason.
After a few seconds of dead air had passed, Mac then quickly pushed himself up from the floor and quickly grabbed me by my left forearm and dragged me with him, as he said to me "To the barn Knight!"
We then went sprinting to the backdoor that was in the kitchen and outside, as Applejack looked towards the mob and said, "Quickly go around the house to the barn! He must have Applebloom in there!"
They all then went around the house to get to the barn, which wasn't too far from the house, but fairly far enough, but Mac and I had gotten there first before they even came close, because Mac was kind of fast as he dragged me along the ground.
As soon as we got inside, he used that little wooden bar to hold the doors shut. You know... that thing you put on two metal thingies... you know I'm not going to explain it anymore.
Anyways, as soon as he thought he was safe, he slowly turned around and said to me, "Alright, let's just see what kind of progress Chi Chi has made so we can..."
He was then dead silent, as he was too shocked to what he was saying. The three little fillies were laughing and giggling, as Chi Chi was laughing and playing with them. Apparently that electric machine that he had had a setting where the electricity would be so low, it wouldn't be harmful, but more or less fun to play with.
Applebloom was saying as Chi Chi was having fun as well, "It tickles Chi chi..."
Scootaloo was also heard saying while closing her eyes in enjoyment, "This is fun!"
Sweetiebelle then said as she was looking at Mac with bright big eyes, "This is awesome Mac!"
Mac then slowly turned angry again, but more angry then he was before.
Then I said to him as I turned to him, as he was slowly boiling his anger up inside of him, "So... are you going to give them back now?"
Mac then rushed and quickly pushed Chi Chi aside, untied the three little fillies, as they still had smiles on their faces, opened the barn door, and gave them to Applejack, as they were standing just outside the door.
He then said to the mob along with Applejack while shaking his right hoof in the air with anger, "You can have your fucking fillies back!"
The mob, except for Applejack, slowly started to head back as a group, as they knew that one of their own and her friends were safe from the hooves of Mac. But they were all whispering how much of an asshole Mac was. Well not an asshole per say, but you know... murmurs here and there...
Applejack said to Mac, before she took the kids with her back to Ponyville, "You better not do anything like this again Mac!"
Mac then said, as Applejack and the three little ones were walking away, "Oh go fuck yourself and your little cunts!"
Mac was so angry, he didn't know what to do to take his rage out. Soon Chi Chi came up to him and said to him quietly, "I'm sorry sir, but they were..."
Mac then punched Chi Chi on the face, in which case he landed flat on the ground hard. Mac then took a nearby apple that was on the ground and got onto Chi Chi's stomach and started to beat his face in with the apple.
Basically saying, he was beating him to a bloody pulp. Blood was everywhere and he pretty much died after that. I slowly started to walk away, as I didn't care what was going on, although what happened next I did kind of felt bad for. Shadow saw what was happening and knew that he should get away as Mac was taking out his anger on yet another failed Asian guy that he hired to help him out.
Shadow tried to run across Mac's view, but Mac saw him as he was running, and saw an empty beer bottle nearby.
He then quickly grabbed it and said, "Where the fuck do you think you're going!?"
He then threw the empty beer bottle perfectly at Shadow's little head and knocked him out, as the bottle broke into tiny glass pieces. What a lovely way to start off this part of my life, isn't it?
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Universal Magic: Episode 23-1: A Griffin's Debt
So, now we're actually getting somewhere, are we now? Anyways, after that happened and I walked away and stuff like that... I just headed home. Nothing much to really say there. Although I did get into contact with TK for a little meeting later that day... well in the middle of the night. So really, we should start there.
It was night time in Stalia, the stars were out, but yet it was a bit foggy outside though. As in the ground was covered in fog, but you could still see through it, but you could tell it was fog covering your feet. But if you're fat, then it's normal. Heck, if you're really that fat, like every other southern American, more specifically Mississippi, you can't even see your own dick or pussy, and not being able to masturbate makes fat people sad. You know... unless you're a telepathic fat guy, then in which case you can jack off all you want... no one stopping you... well... except for diabetes.
Anyways, It was night out, no one was outside, except for Neon of course, and it was silent, except for those bug noises that you usually hear on a summer night. Most likely a cricket, but I am aware of other bugs that do make noise in the middle of the night, but it doesn't matter, you get the point.
As for me, I was in my home, getting ready to leave. I had gathered everything that I needed to meet with TK. I had everything in my satchel and such, and my old black cowboy hat, as it is my hat after all, and kicked down the door.
Why kick it down you might ask? Well... it isn't none of your business, is it? Well... maybe it is, on which case, I had a bit of a problem as the door felt like it was jammed or something like that. But then again, my home always did have its problems.
I mean if it comes with a nice living area, a kitchen, dining room, small library room underneath the staircase, a little basement that I hid all the letters from Celestia and Twilight at, a secret hidden basement (Made by me), three bathrooms, an attic that may or may not be haunted, a normal bedroom, a guest bedroom that has the clown doll that looks like it's from Poltergeist and a creepy Mickey Mouse doll that is alive, with a closest that they seem to go both into at random times to do god knows what, and a trunk that I have no idea what's in it. Yeah... sounds like a great house to buy honestly.
Anyways, I kicked down the door, but Wolf didn't wake up, as he was sleeping, but I left the living light on, and nothing else on to be specific, since I felt like I should leave a light on when I got back.
Once I kicked down the door, I mumbled to myself, "I hate this fucking door... it doesn't fucking open when I want it to... every damn fucking time... "
I then turned my head slightly towards the inside of my home and had a look that was showed I was a little tired and annoyed and yelled out to Wolf, "Ok Wolf, I'm leaving! Don't have any parties while I'm gone. I want to come back to at least a home that isn't filled with someone else's puke other than your own!"
Wolf then yelled back at me from upstairs as loud as he could, probably jacking off or something, "Yeah yeah, whatever! Have a nice field trip Knight! Have fun! Bring me back a souvenir!"
I then had a plain annoyed look on my face as I then said to myself under my breath as I walked out and closed the door behind me , "Yeah... you jackass... "
I walked outside, noticed what my environment was, which was nighttime with the moon half out with fog covering the ground. I then closed the door right after nodding my head, confirming my surroundings. I had everything with me, so I headed straight for the train station. as I was walking, some of the homes that I passes had their outside light on, while others didn't, but no one was outside, out on the town and enjoying the night life.
It's a shame really, even though it was foggy, I kind of liked it. I reminded me of an old Universal Horror movie, like "The Wolf Man" or "Dracula."
For whatever reason, I felt like the mood was nice and it felt like the perfect night to go out exploring with friends and having fun.
However, I didn't have fun in a long while at that time, but whatever. I didn't even have friends despite what Celestia had said to me. Well, about halfway to the station, I came across Neon dragging a big brown bag with his mouth. Very casual like. He was just dragging it with his teeth as he lowered his towards the ground to drag it. At the very bottom of the bag, it was all bloody, and some of the blood was leaking out. Neon also had that usual smile upon his face as well. Once we crossed paths and saw each other, we stopped and looked at each other. I had a wide look in my eyes as he just turned his head almost one hundred and eighty degrees towards me.
Neon said to me while waving with his right hoof, "Hi Knight! Isn't it a beautiful night to go out and have some fun!?"
I then told him while looking a bit nervous, "Well... it feels like a great night to go out and explore some dark woods with friends and have some kind of fun while doing it. He he... "
Neon then said while looking towards the other guy's houses, "Well we can do that right now! I can even wake up the others and we can go camping!"
I then told him with a nervous smile as he quickly looked back at me, "Well one, I'm busy. Two, that sounds like a good enough idea... Perhaps whenever the fog is covering the ground again? Three, I'm not sure if I would want to have fun with you... because I'm guessing that bag you're dragging along the ground is what you had fun with."
Neon then said while he was looking down and was about to lower his head, "Yup! You want to look inside?"
I then told him with a worried look in my eyes as I raised my right hoof up about halfway, "Nonononononono... I'm good... I'm... fine. I should really get going now Neon. And I think you need to get gong too with whatever... you have to do... "
Neon then said to me, "Yup! I've got to deliver this to a kid who paid me a hundred bits for this. And to give you an idea what this is... it's a girl...oh and the next time the fog covers the ground is in three days! So we can have fun then! Well... see you then buddy!"
I then stopped him by saying, "Wait... how do you know when it's going to... never mind, I shouldn't ask... it's because you're Neon isn't it?"
Neon then old me, "Yes! It's because I'm me! Well have a goodnight then!"
I then said to him as we were parting ways and walking in the opposite direction, "Yeah... you too you psychopath... "
I continued to walk towards the station and I didn't come across anyone else along my short walk, as the station wasn't too far. I eventually reached the station and the ticket booth had the lights on, as someone was still inside, looking bored and depressed, waiting for anyone to give tickets to.
He had a blue uniform on, with a blue cap as well. He also looked like he didn't shave for a week and he was just looking outside and not doing anything else, as he was on his night shift and it looked like he had to pay attention in case if any customer were to ask for a ticket or a question about something else.
That was as much as I could tell, as he was unknown to me. I went up to the booth and he still didn't make movement whatsoever, aside from breathing and blinking of course when I came. You would think with seeing another pony for once in the dead of night during your night shift would at least make you feel some sort of excitement or something inside, other than dread and boredom.
I went up to the booth and asked, "One ticket please for Cantorlot."
The pony in the booth then told me, "Twenty-one bits please."
I then said, "Twenty-one bits? Seems a bit much, but oh well then, no problem."
I then opened my satchel and stuck my hoof indie it and started to dig for the amount of bits he had asked for. I eventually got what he asked for and put in on the counter, in which he took the bits and then gave me a yellow ticket stub that was valid for one way to Cantorlot.
I was planning on buying my other ticket for the way home when I was finished what I was doing at the Cantorlot station. I took the ticket and put it in my satchel, and then I walked past the booth and went to the waiting area that was by the tracks to wait for the train. I didn't sit on the benches, as it was empty and such. I mean no pony was waiting for the train.
And so, I waited for the train to come by... and waited... and waited... and waited... it was just complete silence and boredom just waiting for the train. However, I wasn't worried about the train. What I mostly worried about was TK didn't arrive. We were supposed to meet on the platform before the train arrived, as we were going to discuss our plan of action on the train ride to Cantorlot. I looked around me, wondering if I could see TK or not, hoping in vein that he would come and in hopes I would just see him or hear him coming.
I looked around and I then quietly said to myself, "Come on TK... where are you at buddy?"
It was about fifteen minutes that I was waiting for the train, or the exact time I could not tell. Eventually, I saw a vague headlight in the mere distance.
It was faint, but I could hear and see a train from afar. I saw it coming from the East, as I stuck my head out, trying to see the train. I was worried however that TK was going to miss the train and such and I would have to go on without him. However... soon the light and noises faded away. The light disappeared into the fog as the train whistle dissolved into the night.
It was as if it was a ghost train or something like that had just happened, I and it would be some sort of mystery to solve. But then the train came rolling in and slowing down, as I quickly heard the sound and the lights very quickly.
So what that was all about, I have no clue actually, but I suppose it was something though at least. Who knows, maybe this town's many mysteries that have yet to be solved. Well, it slowly stopped in front of the station and all the doors to the cars opened up. The lights were on inside, but it seemed mostly empty though.
Once the door opened up, I saw a pony who had looked like he was down on his luck and wearing a light grey hoodie and a bright mane color walk past me. He looked also too depressed and didn't wanted to be bothered by anyone at all. He walked past me and as he was doing so, he stared at me with dark circles under his eyes, but didn't pay attention to me at all and just headed into Stalia. I wondered what his story was all about.
Anyways, I looked at the door and saw that there were two other ponies inside as well.
Well, I stared at the inside of the train car and said to myself, "Looks like I have to go alone now."
Then, I heard a voice behind me... it said, "No you're not."
I turned my head around and not-so-much to my surprise... it was TK. He was just late and all... We just stared in silence at each other, as my body was halfway into the train car as TK was standing outside.
I then slightly nodded my head then said, "Come on... let's go, we've got a lot to talk about."
We then both entered the train car. We then headed to take our seat and we sat right next right each other. as we did so, the doors closed the trains made the whistle sound, saying that it was about to leave the station. Once the sound was made, I slowly noticed the out the window that we started to move. After I saw that we were moving, I looked to my right, and I saw two ponies that were on the train with us. One was an old stallion, who looked weak, but was well dressed.
Most likely because due to the fact he grew up in a time when all Stallions dressed up properly and wore nice clothing and was taught manners and respect along with all that self-respect that many have been taught sometime in their lives.
Sitting across from him was a young stallion pony. He wasn't wearing anything, but his fur coat was a bright orange color with darker orange color for a mane, but take a look into his eyes and you know he wasn't the friendly type. In fact, he looked like a crack addict, a mean one at that. He looked like one of those addicts that would do just about anything to just get high, even if it meant killing someone. Although I wasn't for sure if he was a crack addict, I mean drug problems wasn't too common in Equestria or this world even.
But he did look suspicious though, as if he was ready to do something that would be considered bad among the young kids and such. However, he wasn't causing any trouble, so I just ignored him.
I looked towards TK and asked him, "So... you got your ticket right?"
He just looked at me in pure silence, as if I was supposed to figure out the answer.
After a few seconds of him looking at him, the answer soon came into my head, in which I responded with, "Really TK? You didn't get it? I mean you know they're going to be asking for a ticket and I'm not really in the mood to deal with you and threatening the pony that handles the tickets and that you're telling him to fuck off."
TK then waited a few seconds until he said to me, "There is no point in getting a ticket at this time of day."
I then was confused and reflected that feeling onto my face, in which case I asked him, "How so?"
TK then used his helmet and turned something within that helmet without moving a single muscle, in which it then projected a curved screen with data across it. It was also projected in mid-air, in case someone gets slightly offended and goes on a genocide rampage because I didn't explain something. Anyways, he used this thing in his helmet to project information of all that he could gather about Equestria, but not the entire world though yet.
Now, I am his creator... and I have to say this... I have no idea how TK does that. I know it's odd for me, to meet my own creation and not know much about him.
Hell, I don't even know who is even under that helmet that conceals his identity. I am serious, but I suppose I created him for that particular reason, to be unknown of who he really is.
Although I do know one thing about him and that is one slight thing about his past. But I do know for sure there is something under that mask or helmet or whatever it is... I'm just unsure who that person could be. Sometimes it makes me wonder who it really is.
Perhaps it's me since I never gave him a unique identity... but if that was the case, then that wouldn't really make any fucking sense and all it would be is just a big long plot hole and such.
So I highly doubt that, especially from experience... so someone is defiantly under that helmet and has no emotions... well except for anger. If pushed, he can feel anger. But then again, how else how he would be somewhat of a badass.
I mean he is basically the devil of his own universe... and killed the original one... I mean that has to say something at least. Anyways, as for the two other ponies that were on the train with us, they didn't even pay attention to what TK was doing.
The old stallion was feeling uncomfortable sitting across and being eyed upon like a hawk by the young stallion. And the young pony was too busy eyeing the old stallion. So obviously, they didn't care and didn't look in awe at TK's technology, but that was possibly for the best.
Anyways, I looked at the screen that was projected by TK's helmet, and of course the screen is somewhat like glass, you can see through it and see what's behind it, but that's not important except to those would like to go on a genocide rampage across Europe or something like that.
Anyways, TK then explained to me, "The reason why it is useless and a waste of time to purchase a train ticket at this time of day is because no one cares. Or at least for an easy and short way to put it. The explanation is simple, the companies that run the trains do not profit much from those who ride the train at night. As you can see, no one gives a dam about riding a train in the middle of the night. The only exception to that rule would be if it was during a special event, for example, the Gala in Cantorlot. It can profit very much from it, but if that is not happening, they do not care whatsoever. However, they still want to make money, so they don't tell the public and let those who are smart enough, which are the very few that is, to realize that they do not need a train ticket. So in the end Knight, you wasted your twenty-one bits."
I wasn't surprised that he knew about how much I had paid for my ticket. Hell, he knows a lot more about me than I know about him. It's sad you can say, but to me, it's just the way I had created him. Of course he doesn't know the one thing that I know that is his one weakness that I have, so I do have something up my sleeves at least against him if there would ever be a case that I had to do something with him.
That or up my arms... since right now I'm a pony and I don't have any cloths on right now and such... which means it would be in my arms. But in that case how would that be in my arms?
Maybe I got high and thought there were tiny little Obama heads in there, so I cut it open with a very dull and AIDS infected knife... and then put that one weakness in my arm... or maybe I went to the hospital and had surgery. But then when I need to take it out... how would I do that? I don't know... but whatever... it doesn't matter.
I just wasn't surprised that he knew about my ticket. Of course I was pissed that I spent twenty-one bits was completely useless and such, but it didn't matter at least though. I mean... Celestia would send me money for food and stuff like that.
And from time to time I would do certain things that would earn me bits here and there. And Wolf also had a little side business of his own, but it's basically where he doesn't need to go anywhere or do anything... he just sits and watch as the money rolls in. He did something back in my school days, so I'm unsure what happened and what he did and stuff. So really twenty-one bits was nothing to me.
And it's still nothing to me. I mean living with the two sisters... it would make sense a little bit that twenty-one bits means absolutely nothing. Although having eighty-eight bits though is something... now that should be a rap song by a black guy with a deep sounding voice...shown over a speak easy footage from the 1920's... because that obviously makes sense...
Anyways, I looked at TK and I said to him, "Well... you do make a point there TK. But I suppose this world is a bit smarter than the humans back on earth... a bit dumber depending on how you see things... "
TK then said to me, "I rather prefer to see it this world to be smarter. So far they haven't invented a gun. The closest they could come close to one however is a canon, but a gun is all they need to screw everything up in the end in flames. But as long as no universe that has the planet Earth in it and has humans within it cross over to this world, this world has nothing to fear or worry about. For if that were to happen, I am sure human beings will find a way to fuck it up just like they always have done. It would be sad to see it all of this to go away if humans were to interact with these ponies."
I then said to him, "Yes... but you wouldn't be sad wouldn't you? You would just feel anger."
TK then said, "Exactly... and I would kill every single human that set a single foot into this world and slowly let this world rot for what the humans would have done to it. There would be no point to save it. Besides... there's plenty of other universes that are slightly like this world, so it doesn't even matter."
I then said to him, "Well... I would just possibly just move to another My Little Pony universe if that were to ever happen. I mean... I rather not deal with it... but then again, I still have some life in me... and for once something would happen... so I might just end up sticking around for a bit."
TK then said, as he was about to close the data he had opened to look at, "Well, that is sadly your decision to make. And with every choice can either be in your favor, or be your end. But that is the reality of life that we hold within our souls, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. Now... what are we up against once we get near the castle grounds?"
I then gave him a little smirk as he just stared at me, waiting for me to tell him my plan and everything that I brought with me on the train. I then quickly turned my head and looked down at my satchel and opened it. I then stuck my hoof inside it while having the other hoof holding the satchel steady while I was digging around inside. I then took out certain documents and maps and such and then turned my head towards TK and out the papers between us.
Meanwhile, the young stallion that was staring at the old guy was starting to heat up a bit... something that you could say it was getting intense... but hey, it's as intense as a snail trying to hump a cat on his eyeball. Will the snail do it and cum all over the cat's eyeball? Or will the cat die and meow in pain because the cat isn't being humped in the ass instead while the snail is having salt being sprinkled on him, as he tries his best to jack off one more time and have a super, amazing orgasm before his life flashes before his eyes... which is basically just trying to hump a cat's eyeball... yeah... it's that intense. Well... it was that intense between the two stallions.
Anyways, I showed TK the papers that I had brought along with me, to which TK then asked me, "What is this?"
I then told him, "Well... from the looks of it... it's the plans that I have brought along with us to break into the castle in Cantorlot."
TK then asked me, "Yes, you said that before, but why do you have documents pertaining to content that is related to what we are doing?"
I then told him, "Well... this does somewhat relate to the mission at hand... or hoof... whatever... it's more or less what we're trying to look for. Basically saying, this is information about a world called the Other World. Or at least based on account to those who believe in it."
TK then told me, "So what you have brought along is basically ghost stories... "
I then told him, "Come on TK... it's more than just a ghost story. I mean we've experience ghost stories before. hell... depending on who you ask, we're ghost stories. Just not around here that is... "
TK then asked me, "Your point?"
I then told him while staring at him and giving a slight smirk to him while moving my pony arms around, "My point is that this isn't a ghost story... it's real. I mean, going through universes with Space Dragons in them... fighting off a mythical being with a bunch of talking wolves with the leader of the pack having an eye patch... it's pretty much normal for us to go through this kind of stuff. It's even more normal for me if you count what I've been through with the guys back in Stalia. It's just that I'm not too sure what this Other World is like and what dangers it may or may not bring. Anyways, it's basically just the testimonies that other ponies who have seen the Other World and what not. For example, take this pony's words. This pony, who goes by the name of Jack Apple, was sleeping in the middle of the night. He is said to be living on a farm, about five hundred miles south east from Manehatten and he hears his dog barking at the front the door.
I had opened up my satchel and used my magic and took out a folder with a document that was in it and showed it to him while pointing out stuff with my right hoof while still retaining my little smirk as I had optimism and what I was talking about.
I then continued to explain to TK with such enthusiasm, "So he wakes up in a cold sweat and goes downstairs to check up on his dog to see what is wrong, and he finds the door has been broken open. So he goes to search around, being very careful, to see if an intruder is inside his home, but he finds nothing except that his only daughter is missing from her room, but no sign of any struggle happening and he does not recall a scream whatsoever earlier that night. The next thing you know, the dog goes missing too, and by the way, the dog name is Toby in the report...poor Tobey...and so he goes to see where the dog went, but can't find anything outside except that his axe that he left on a stump is missing and there is blood on the grass."
TK was just sitting there in silence, not give any clue as to if he was paying attention to what I had to say to him since he didn't seem interested in the beginning. But hey, it was TK, he is... always like that... I guess...
I the finished explaining to him while still retaining energy in telling the little bed time story to TK, "Soon he finds a mysterious, somewhat invisible portal in front of him...and I quote from him, 'I have seen a lot of awful things in my day...but what I saw was shocking. I would tell you what I saw, but what's the point, you won't believe if I told you the truth what I saw. Let's just say it was something no pony should ever see.' That's just one of the many stories about the Other World."
I then stop to look at TK and gave him a look on my face that said, 'So what now bitch... you want me to continue or what... if I continue, we'll be brothers for fucking ever. If not, then I'm going to have to cap your ass so hard... you're going to be saying the n word a billion times over mother fucker... '
Yeah that face... a face that a Zebra or a black guy would have on...if you get what I'm saying that is. Maybe you are... or maybe you're not... but whatever... it's just a typical face that anyone would have on actually. I mean... just a normal black guy face on that wants to know if his homie wants a cap in his ass or wants to continue to make crack and shit like that.
Hey... that kind of... sort off... rhymed... well almost anything rhymes in my hears... maybe it was because of the letter A or something. But whatever, we're not here to for you to listen...or read my thoughts on what I consider to be sort of rhyming words.
That's Jon Stewart's job... I mean he's old so he has nothing else better to do than make a movie about a Muslim guy being tortured and interrogated because he said he was a spy... I was always suspicious about those Muslims... they always did have that look that said, 'Hey!... let's have an explosion party at my house... Nigg... '
We apologize for this brief interruption in your program for your mind tonight. The N word has been said in another dimension. I repeat, the N word has been said in another dimension. Please remain calm. this is not a test. Stay in your homes. Keep calm and and remain under shelter. this is not a drill. Curfew is now in effect until further notice. We well alert you if the bombs are dropping. Please remain inside. And if you have basement or the lowest part of your home, we suggest you move immediately down there. This N word has been said in another dimension. This is not a drill. Please remain calm. Nigger... oh shit...
Huh... for a moment there it felt like my mind went into some other dimension or something... huh... Anyways, yeah... that's the way a Muslim has... they're even like a black guy some ways... but instead of the N word, it's a picture of Mohammed... well can't joke about that or they're be coming after me in a bear costume and into the universe... they always know somehow...
Anyways, TK then told me, after I had said what I had said to him, "Continue... "
I then gave him a little smirk and said out loud to him as I took out another document for the next story, "Alright then. The next one is from a seven year old filly. No name is given to protect her identity. But if you ask me, I don't really see too much of a point because what does her identity have to do with anything other than maybe bullies come around her and start to pick on her. And then she slowly cries to sleep every night, wondering when it will stop. Then she starts taking pills and other drugs that were not prescribed to her and on one and dark and gloomy night, she sits in her room in a corner, rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere while it's raining very heavily outside while her parents are out of town that weekend."
I was talking in a slow and soft tone to TK. I was trying to set up the mod as if it was some sort of scary camp fire story that I was telling him about.
I continued to say to TK while trying to try to add excitement to the story just a bit, "She thinks of how to get out of her problems, so she ends up thinking of two options. Option A is to kill herself. Option B is... a school shooting... if she takes Options A, she'll most likely take her life by hanging herself. Although honestly, if you ask me, it's not that easy hanging yourself. I mean you have so many types of rope you can end your life with. I mean what kind of rope do you want?"
I was getting off track for a bit. I was trying to sort of make light of a dark situation as I looked away from the document and stared at the floor moved my pony arms around a bit and having a small smile on my face. But eventually I had to get back on track.
I continued saying while showing some kind of movement to TK and to add something to the conversation, "Not only that, but do you want it smooth, rough, very thick, thin? And not only that, but you need to make sure the rope is... like tight, right? I mean you don't want to fall from the ceiling, I would assume it would be the ceiling that is. And not only that but you need to make sure where you're hanging your self is stable and such. And if you want to, you need to be jacking and have a super orgasm at least before you die, because you might as well do that while being dressed up as batman."
I could sense without looking at him, TK was starting to get a little irked by my talking. Granted he was used to me by this point of course, so he could tolerate it. But somewhere in my mind, I think he really wanted me to get a move on with the little bed time story as I could sort of feel the air on the train. So I went ahead and tried to wrap it up.
I then said to TK while looking back at him slowly and trying to keep myself under control, "Or for this filly, Batgirl... now if she chooses Option B, it would be knives... as she most likely would not be able to use powerful magic or have guns. Although if this universe did have guns... she would most likely just use a shot gun. Does good damage, mostly because the pistols do good, but doesn't have that affect too much unlike an Ak-47 if you know what I mean... right TK?"
TK just stared at me, and not knowing what kind of expression he had on his face could only mean he was pissed or annoyed. Most likely both, but you get the idea.
TK then said to me, "You get off track a lot don't you?"
I then said calmly to him, "Yes, I do a lot. Just a habit of mine. Heck, I was like that even before I discovered the portals. But sadly no one liked it though... but I don't care. They can just burn in hell."
TK then said, "And I'm sure if you were to let that happen, you would give me those dying souls to me to eat or put in hell wouldn't you? Since you wouldn't know what to do with those souls."
I then said to him after a few seconds of thinking of what he had just said, "Yup... sounds about right. I mean I did say they all can burn in hell... and I'm sure you would able to make sure that would happen, right TK?"
TK then said while staring out into space, "Only if they deserve it for what they have done in their lives. If they wasted it all on killing and rape, I'll make sure they will burn. But for those who haven't done anything at all, I'll just eat their souls, as being the Devil means that I must eat souls every now and then to keep up my strength... at least the universe that you created for me that is... "
TK then slowly looked at me and stared at me, if I had anything to do with what he just said to me. Which... he is correct, I had something to do with him being the devil. I mean I only did because to me there needed to be a hero... kind of... that actually died and didn't survive. And he did kill and hunt all those members down of the illuminati and even killed their children... so why wouldn't he end up in hell?
But of course he killed the Devil and he now has his powers and rules over hell, but at the same time works with that universe's god in good faith... oddly enough... to keep a balance. But to me, it sounded like TK was calling that a problem... well it sounded cool in my head back then.
I then said to TK in response to his comment, "Well, back in those days of me just being human... I wasn't that smart... nor that dumb either. Just average I suppose."
TK then said, "You're more than average... from what I can tell, you're more than just what a normal human being with normal feeling... you're odd... you're unique... but not in a good way or a bad way... you're just one of a kind. And if to say you die, your kind would be dead."
I then told him, "Well... I would like to think it would be something else, like... sort of smart... but sort of dumb... like a two in one me. One side is lazy and is pretty much dumb, while another me is a smart and very strong me. Of course that depends on what is happening around in my environment and depending on what happens, to say if it is like an opportunity for a joke to be made, I'll do something stupid or say something stupid. If something is serious like a dead body or TF trying to kill me, which he is, then I'll get serious and act smart to my best ability. But when none of that is happening, what you get is a hybrid of seriousness and idiocy... that's how I see it anyways."
TK then said to me, "Then we both see two very different things then... because what I see within in you is that you have potential, a life, but yet you waste that all, but yet still have good intentions. In a way... you're confusing to me. However if I had to choose what you mostly are, I would say you waste potential. You can push yourself father, faster, stronger, better, you can be better than everyone here in this universe from here to the edge of it. You can become better than them and act better. I know you're smarter than everyone here and even all the ones we have met in the past. I know that because I trained you to be better than all of them, just as you made me to be better than them. At least I tried to train that is. That is what you lack. You grow a bit and then you just stop."
I was staring back at TK with wide eyes, listening to every word that he had to say to me. And while in my mind I was paying attention to what he had to say to me, my face said the opposite. But even then I wasn't taking what he had to say to seriously, but it was something to still listen to, even if it was in my soul that is.
TK continued to say to me as he stared into my eyes and possibly into my soul, "There is so much that you can do. I can see it inside of you and your soul. There is much that you can unleash and open. But your mind is still closed. And that's what I see sometimes, a soul that is closed. You have the ability to open it though unlike everyone else here. But only you can do that. You need to open yourself as you have potential. You made me in the end, and I think somewhere in your mind and your soul that you have more waiting to be let out. But yet you don't, and you don't even see it. And to me that's wasted potential that needs to be used. However, you have survived for this long in your life, and there is still much left to learn and grow. However I think there is only so much time for you to learn and grow. But in the end... all I can say is you're 'special' in a way. And in the end... that's how I see you Knight. And if don't see that... then it's up to you to get better, at least as how I see it that is."
I then stared at him and took what he said in with great thought. I thought in my head, 'Perhaps he's right. I can be better than this, but it's who I am... and sadly enough being a human means not changing that sadly enough. But whatever... '
I then said to him while looking down at the documents while shifting my eyes to the side to still kind of look at him, "Well... I'll certainly take what you said to heart... maybe... but for now let's try and concentrate on these stories huh TK? We're getting off track here as it is and I think it's important we try to stay on topic.. for once you know?"
TK then stared at me and asked me, "Didn't you say that it was a habit of yours to go off topic every now and then? You didn't seem to be bothered by that thought at all, so I would assume you would be fine going off topic for a few minutes."
I then said to TK as I took out another document, ready to tell the next story, "I know, and I am... but this train ride isn't going to go on forever and we still need to go through the plan. So let me try and continue what I was saying. So, this little filly has her named protected for this story. Anyways, this filly always played outside, in the woods, and surprisingly she lives in Stalia. But this was a few years back, more specifically when I was still in Celestia's school when this all happened, so I was unaware of this of course.
I was looking back and forth from the document and TK's "face" as I had a bit of a smile and some energy to continue to talk about the story.
I went on with the tale of the little filly with some energy that I was going a little bit fast, "Well, this little filly always played in the woods and it is said here that she had imaginary friends there. One of which she named Bloo... and of course that makes me wonder if that is the same Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. I mean this is a My Little Pony universe and all, but for all I know, it's most likely a coincidence that she named it Bloo and spelled it like that. But whatever, we're not here to talk about the show and the two similarities, but to talk about the story. Anyways, she also had many such as Wilt... Eduardo, Coco... Mac.. Frankie... Mr. Herriman... Jackie... ok maybe this is something else going on here... "
My head slowly raised upwards from the documents, the smile disappeared, and my eyes started to drift off into blank space as I tried to conceive what I was reading and trying to make sense of what was on there. I wasn't freaking out or anything, just a little... stunned.
After a few seconds of awkward silent, I shrugged it off and said to TK with a bit of dumbfounded voice, " I'm starting to think this girl just came upon a random opened universe portal that led to the Foster's universe and this so happened to be it. But her claims suggest that they were invisible... so you got me there. Anyways, they were invisible, and from what she has said in her reports when she was interviewed, she would always play hide and seek with them in the woods... and may I say something? I know TK, I'm going off track, but that's my thing... why the woods?"
I was talking to TK as if he was replying to me and adding something to the conversation. I was acting as if he was saying something even though he didn't say a single word at all and just followed me with his eyes. As I moved my hooves around for motion purposes and to add something to the whole thing, my smile slowly returned as well. And I was imagining what he would be saying to me in my head... probably not the best thing to have had done then but whatever. I did it and you can't tell me otherwise.
Anyways, I continued on the little story of the filly with, "I know there are some hiding spots... but it's the woods... not sure how she played hide and seek there, but whatever. Continuing on, well she always played tag and all that good kid stuff. However, one day these friends of hers spoke to her and said they wanted to play a game of magic. Basically saying, to summarize what her friends to her to do was kill her parents... and they said they would help her. And then out of nowhere, a very odd creature that stood on two legs that was pale and wad kind of tall and such with hairless skin came out and looked a bit retarded... at least that's my summary from her description as to what she saw that is. In other, better words, this creature came out of the Other World portal that was in the woods, with a retarded looking face, was all pale looking, anthropomorphic, was hairless, and was walking like an Ape."
The more the went on, the more surreal it was all sounding to me. It was if it had came from a dream or a really bad nightmare. Yet somehow it had happened somewhere...allegedly that is... but hey, got to work with what you've got right?
So I went on to telling more of the story, "However, it says here in the report, that this thing was smiling at her and she smiled back, and ended up befriending the creature. She soon started to see this thing every day, and her relationship with this unknown thing when eventually it asked if they could have a sleepover without her parents knowing about it. She agreed to it, like the dumb little shit she was... because at this point, kids aren't very bright. But then again, like no shit Sherlock, what isn't new?"
I was starting to get off track again... while riding a train that were on train tracks. Eh? Eh? Eh? Come on... it works. Trust me, it all pays off later on. You can believe me. Right?
I went off the RAILS and said to TK, "I mean... kids are kids... they're new around and still trying to figure things out in life and they should try and take their time and shit like that... at least as far as my opinion goes. Back on Earth, before I left, I recall kids at the age of five taking entrance exams into kindergarten classes. And somehow, I'm pretty sure a lot of them failed because they couldn't keep their shit together... because they're five... "
Then there was an awkward silence between the both of us as the sounds of the train running on the tracks pass us by. I then sniffed a little bit.
I then stroke up one last thing to say and said to TK to end the topic sort of with an awkward look on my face, "Really, none of this makes any sense to me at all. You'd think there would be standards and practices that would recognize this crap. You know? Let the kids live a little in life before it bites them in the ass eventually and the dark abyss takes them away in the mind."
There was an awkward silence between as I sniffed again. It was a slightly longer sniff this time around. Very important to know, trust me... I'm an expert here...
TK then spoke up and broke the silence between us and said as he turned his head to the side a bit to look at me, "Are you high again Knight?"
I then said to him as I shook my head repeatedly but with still an awkward look on my face, "No no no, not at all. I haven't done it in... a few days... with Wolf... I think... "
I then gave TK an awkward looking smile, trying to say I was innocent and I didn't do what he said that I had done. Event though... he only asked me a simple question.
TK then said to me as he tried to make a point to me, "Your mind is weakened with you inhibit yourself with those drugs you know? It makes you like this with no sign of getting better."
I then said to him as I rolled my eyes to the side a bit and said to him while raising my right hoof up a bit, "Yeah well... I didn't have too much of a childhood or finished up my younger years after I found you there TK. I'm kind of playing catch up here with what the kids are doing back on Earth. And I'm playing the long game too?"
I then gave him a careless smile towards him, thinking I was cool hot shit. And I was too...
However, TK didn't care for my little antics and just said to me as he looked forward in front of him, "You don't have the greatest attention span sometimes."
I then said to him while scratching the back of my neck with my left pony hoof (don't ask how that works), and said to him with a I don't care face, "Yeah well I had a little bit too much coffee before I came here. I'm a little uppity right now. So blame the pony coffee companies if you want."
I then looked back down at the documents and tried my best to get back on track... while moving on the train tracks... he he he...
I then said to him, "But if you can keep in mind I'm just trying to make a point is all. A lot of this has some relevance in the conversation and I'm just trying to point some stuff out to you. It's like trying to give an Asian prostitute a lot of money and them getting excited like a Jew just seeing all of that dough. You know? Not that I ever paid for one of those, but I'm pretty sure I've seen it somewhere before and... "
I then slowly cut myself off as I looked back at TK as he slowly back to my face with a sort of sideway glance. Without him using anyway words at all, I could tell that he wanted me to move on.
So I then said to him while being all mellow about it and waving my right hoof at him, "Fine fine fine. I get back on track. But I'm not promising anything though... "
And so I went and tried to look more into the document and continue the story of the little filly.
I tried my best to get back on track and said to TK, "Anyways, moving on... in the report, it continues to say they had the sleepover and everything went fine. Soon they started to have the sleepovers very frequently, until it got to the point where this creature asked the filly if she wanted to have some 'fun.' She asked what kind of fun and it said to kill her parents. She was starting to get scared and shook her head no, but then the creature said, and I quote, 'Fine then... I'll do it myself."
The story started to seem so weird and off track itself. But I kept a serious look and kept with the plot of the whole thing.
I then went on to say next in the bedtime story, "And she said she saw it smile at her when it said that and it quietly sprinted to her parents. At the time, her mother was in the kitchen while the father was in the bathroom. Sadly, the filly couldn't catch up to the creature in time, and she ended up seeing her dead mother with a bunch of sharp knives sticking out of her face before she knew what was happening next. To go into more details about it, there was exactly twenty-one knives, one in each eye, and three in the mouth."
I know, it all seems so impossible... almost like this was just a bad nightmare that the girl was happening. But within the same document, there were pictures o the deceased and without saying anything to him, I briefly show it to TK by holding the paper up with my magic. I even had a little smirk on, like I was proving some kind of mad theory about something that shouldn't exist.
I then continued on and said as the paper came back down to my eye level, "The rest was scattered around her face as blood spilled on to the floor. Her head also had a sign of that she was knocked on the head as well. So a theory suggests that the creature snuck up behind her, hit her on the head with a blunt object, in which case she fell to the floor. And very quickly, the creature must have stuck the knives in her face one by one before moving on to the father."
It was as if I was telling a story that you would tell around a campfire that was very bad. Yet despite the surreal nature of it all, it somehow happened and very hard to imagine seeing it all play out in action and real time. Even my mind had trouble picturing all of this going down. And for all I knew, this was nothing but a fool's chase.
I continued to speak and said to TK, "When the filly saw it, she said she cried in tears, but then heard screaming coming from the bathroom in a nearby hallway. She went to take a look at what the scream was, and the creature was holding the father's head inside the toilet, underneath the water, drowning him to death. She said she witnessed her father kicking and screaming, trying to fight back and gasping for air, but she saw him stop moving. Soon after the father was dead, the creature looked at her, smiling and said, 'Come with me and we can live forever and ever together."
Despite of all how this was sounding to TK, I tried to even play along and perhaps even ruin the moment as well. When the quote came up, I tried to say it in a little raspy voice of mine, imagining that's how the creature had sounded. But let's be fair here... it may have sounded like a black guy's voice. You know... just none of the hard R's is all.
I was almost finished and continued on forward and said out loud, "She said she was too scared to do anything and backed away from the creature. The creature continued to smile and then left her. And then you know the rest. She was then sent to the Asylum located somewhere in Stalia. I have no clue where this is at all and I've been there for a while myself. But when she went there, she was heard talking to herself, trying to make sense of it all. That and she was a little bit crazy. The scary part is that the place listed here where she was sent to has been closed for at least.. I don't know... 50, 60, maybe even 70 years I think? I think it's a bit strange don't you think? But honestly, I don't see why she would go crazy. I mean, sure she's a kid and saw her parents get murdered in front of her eyes... she'll see that sometime in her life as someone she knows dies. But I suppose I could give her a pass because she wasn't that smart of not letting a stranger into the house."
I was pretty much done with that story so I started to place the document away in it's proper place.
I then turned to my side and looked at TK with my pony head to the side a bit and said to him with a slight happy look to me, "Oh well. Also, by the way TK, I was thinking once we start to investigate where this portal is and everything, we would probably maybe need to interview these ponies as well."
TK then said, "Good enough. Although I do wonder something."
I then asked him, "Yeah... and what is that?"
TK then said to me, "Do other universes have portals to this Other World? If so, where does it connect to... and how... "
I then said, "Well good point there, and there most likely is. You just need to find the right universe is all for that though, but still, good point. Anyways, there is one more to look over, although there are plenty of stories we can read. But for the sake of the train ride and all, let's just keep it to three, shall we?"
TK slowly nodded his head in response. I'm sure he was glad that I was starting to keep it all on track a bit.
I then said to him, "Alright then... the final one. Now this is all about a boy named Tom... this might be interesting... or this might go bad just by the boy's name. I mean... it sounds like a nursery rhyme should be made after this story. Not that it's creepy, but it just somehow fits in a way. It sounds like what a nursery rhyme would be like a kid about bobby and he killed his parents. Anyways, here is the story about Tom."
I tried to calm myself down and concentrate on telling the story to TK. I got comfy into my sitting position and stared at the document while I had a little smirk hanging from my face.
I said to TK with some energy in my voice and trying to keep the mood up, "Now Tom... is actually dead, although... according to Celestia, although speculative, his soul still resides in purgatory... or basically saying hell in this universe. Or at least a "hell."
I then slowly turned my head to TK with a curious look on my face. TK looked back a similar way towards me.
I then said to TK while moving my right hoof around a bit, "Which... by the way TK... I just found out there are two separate types of hells to this universe. One is a sort of a canon one... purgatory, which pretty much everyone knows about here in some form or another. Although not all seem to believe in it and believe in other things and ideas. You know... simple religion stuff. But there is a second one which is hell... and hell is hell... or in other words what you would think of. But at the same time, not what you would expect."
TK seemed to have been following me along with what I was saying and making sense of it. And in his head from looking back through the portal thingy... he knew hell as much as any other devil from any other universe would. In a way, you could say he was near the top of it all. But I made him that way. Yet, somehow at the same time, he made it himself too.
I continued on saying to him while trying to give a clear picture of the afterlives in this universe, "But with purgatory, you just become very lonely is all. Like.. forever alone kind of lonely. The other one is just hell. In other words... it's Neon's Hell. Apparently he runs it, but only a few know about its existence... apparently not even god of this universe knows about it, which surprises me. I don't know much about it myself, I just know Neon talks about it and if he talks about it... well... it's got to be real... right?"
There was another awkward silence between us as I shrugged it all off with a sign of saying, 'I don't know.'
I then went back to looking at the document as TK just listened and followed along with me and said out loud to him, "Anyways, Tom's soul resides in purgatory, as that was his sentence after he was executed. And the sentence came from god. Granted this is just going off by with what Celestia is saying, so for all I know, she's high on cocaine every other day. But let's assume it's all true. Well... before he died, of course he told his side of the story, which he admitted to the murders and such, while showing little to no remorse for his crimes. However, before he did such a thing, especially as a kid at his age... his parents had always described him as a kid that had mental problems. However, as the parents as they are, they couldn't bring their little child to get help and put him under a lot of... stress... because to see him go through that all would be sort of bad for them, so instead of seeing him suffer, they just made him go see a therapist instead."
I was waving my hooves around, trying to add a little pizazz to it all.
I went on explaining to TK without stopping, "Now, this is because the boy is part of the, 'their child that they brought into this world,' so you can't exactly blame them for doing what they did... they just love a child so much that they just don't want to see him suffer. Granted he was already suffering in a mental way, but they didn't see it like that way. Instead, they most likely saw it in a way. A Way that was their little boy that needs help. And for a little boy at his age, they never want to see him go through any pain in this world. So anyways, with that being said, the boy was interviewed and was asked a series of questions. To start off, they asked him if he had planned on killing his parents, as they planned on having him hanged... well I'm not sure what they did, but I wouldn't think it would be a firing squad. This was of course when he was still alive amongst us living folk."
I had tilted my head a back a little, gave a little relax, cool looking position and had a little bit of a smirk again. And I nodded a little bit towards TK at that last sentence. Although he was already dead so I guess that doesn't count.
I then had a brain fart and said while turning my head towards TK, "I mean... unless it's during war time or maybe if it was a very cruel type of government to say if this place did have guns, but whatever. Anyways, the boy said he never planned to... but he always wished he was able to do so. Now... I know I've already gone off topic many of time here TK... "
TK then said to me as he looked at me dead in the eyes, "You have gone off topic many of times even before this Knight."
I then told him while swinging my head around a bit and waving my left hoof around, "Yes... I am aware of that... but I can't help but point this flaw what the boy said."
TK then went silent for a moment... until he said to me while stiffing his head u towards me, "And what is this so called flaw of yours that does not have any importance to the subject at hand?"
I then said to him while pointing my right hoof at him and giving a totally honest look smile with my shiny teeth (I have good hygiene, better than yours), "I'm glad you asked... you see... he said he wished. Now... I've always wondered that TK... wishes... what if everyone had one wish... and they could wish anything at all. Anything. Whether it would be to see a dead loved one once more, have a puppy, or going to a nice beach somewhere and taking in the view... Whatever that wish may become in that one's mind... The question is... what would be that one good wish? For me... I wouldn't waste that wish on anything... like what that boy wished for."
TK then asked me while he was looking down on me a little bit, almost sort of devilish like, "And what wish would that be Knight?"
I then told him while I had wide eyes as expression and looked downwards and looked uncertain and had my pony ears back, "Well... I'm not sure... maybe before I found the portals... maybe it would be to escape... not the reality... but that world. I mean clearly I did not like it from the start... Or at least when I actually started to gain a little sense of intelligence around my middle school days... but as for right now... I'm not sure. I mean... I can do just about everything or almost anything if I actually tried and wanted to... which I don't... but not everything's perfect of course. I'm just not sure what I would wish for... but it doesn't matter."
I then closed my eyes and shook in disapproval at myself and at my comments. I then looked towards TK and had a little smirk return to my face to show my many expressions to him.
I said to TK while flaring y right hoof around a bit, "Anyways, I just wanted to point out that this boy should have said the word 'hoped' instead of saying he wished for it to happen, as that would have been a wise choice. I mean what if he had wished for it and it did come true... I mean he would have wasted one good wish and he wished for the death of his parents? Unless that was his only goal in life... that's just a waste to me... "
TK then said to me as he looked disappointed in me even though I couldn't see past his helmet, "And this was your flaw? This was the thing that you had to go off topic for?"
I then told him while looking a but surprised and a bit nervous with wide eyes and moving around very awkwardly, "Well... I know it isn't even a fact that it was a flaw, just personal opinion... but I felt like I had to get it off my back... sorry... you aren't mad at me for going off topic again are you? I mean... are you?"
I had a little nervous and worried look on my face as I slowly turned to look at him deeply. And my pony ears laid flat and backwards on my little pony head. I was wondering I was starting to annoy TK. And with TK, you don't want to annoy him.
TK then said, but in a tone of slight disappointment as he looked straight and away from me and put his back up straight and stiff; all high and mighty like the devil that he was, "I'm not mad at you Knight. From where you're standing, the most I can be is either annoyed, or tired of, or even disappointed with. But I can never be mad. It's how you made me. But if it wasn't for the fact that you are you, I would do to you right now what I do with anyone else that annoy me or get in my way."
I then told him while sort of hanging back a bit and point my right hoof nervously towards his direction and have a little nervous smile on form on my face, "Right... you eat their souls... he he... "
TK then slowly turned his attention towards me. And in his movements like the devil that I made him out to be, he twisted his body just a bit and looked down on me. He proceeded to bend and get a little close to me and get near my face and look straight dead into my eyes and said.
While the sounds of the clicking of the train tracks rushed pass us and all remained quiet on board, TK said to me, "That's correct."
I had wide eyes as I was taken aback by his sinister looking movements. I then gulped in being a little intimidated by him. Sure it seems weird that I was being afraid of my own creation, and since he wouldn't hurt me, why worry? Well, there are two things here to note when creating. A Devil can be created. And a Devil can be made. But both can go in either direction if both Devils choose to do so.
TK then stared at me in awkward as he went back into his stiff, upright position in silence.
I then said to him while looking back at the documents and still having wide eyes and went back to telling the campfire story, "Right... Anyways, the boy was questioned if he had some sort of an ability or a friend had put a spell on him, because what he did to his parents was stronger than the Princesses' magic. That... and he was an Earth Pony as well... what he did to his parents was... something that these ponies have never seen before of such strength and other things like that. And you know what he said... 'no'. So they end up getting confused and think the kid is lying. However, after many times of the kid saying 'no' to them, he then says that he knows of a special place."
I was trying to add a little pause for dramatic effect and really sell the little ghost story to TK. I'm pretty sure he was already convinced but still... got to sell it you know... make it believable...
I then said while raising my left hoof up a bit and said with a tone, "And next... he explains in detail what happened, however there is a little nursery rhyme that a bunch of kids made up that were near him at the time and it is in this file and it is quite old as well... so I'll say what the nursery rhyme is first and then go into the details... Not going off track of course."
I then gave a little nervous smile towards TK. And then from there I started to recite the little poem of sorts to add the effect to the spooky ghost story.
One night a little boy named Tom went into the woods And he wasn't having the best of moods At the stroke of midnight, the clock chimed in the town And he saw a monster of pure brown Then Tom got a bite and soon he felt like a kite He went around town with a mean looking frown He soon stumbled into his parents house then no pony was alive, not even the spouse Then on that night on no one saw that poor boy at dawn
I then stayed silent to let that sink in as I looked back at TK with a little smile on my face. And you should possibly too... because that wasn't too bad... I mean... it could have been worse right? Right? Although I wonder if there would be a creepy version of the wheels on the bus?
Like... the Jew on the bus goes Oy Oy Oy or something like that... oh well. Imagine that... that would sell right? I'm no Jew after all...
Anyways, after a few moments of pure silence, I then said to him, "Anyway... that was the nursery rhyme that a bunch of little kids made up... and now here is the exact details that is pretty much the rhyme, but in detail as to what happened."
TK then said to me as he then looked at me and said in a dead tone to me, "I already know what it means. I understand the story from the poem."
I then had a wide eyed look with a bit of a disappointed, yet shocked face as I said quietly to him... "You do?"
TK then looked straight forward and said to me in a slight annoyed tone, "Yes."
I then said while slowly looking away from him and thinking to myself, "Oh... well fuck it. I'm saying it anyways. I didn't slave away looking this stuff up for nothing."
TK only had made a slight grumbling sound back towards me.
While ignoring TK's slight response to me and my little comment, I happily continued to go on with a small smirk on my face, "So basically saying, as what I said before... he didn't like his parents... at least as that is what I think that's what he said. Anyways, he didn't like his parents and wished they were dead. Well... he went out one night and disobeyed his parent's wishes for him staying home and going to bed. Well, he went out into the local woods, nice and dark, you know... Alan Wake style of dark. Then again TK... you would never ever get that reference as that is something you wouldn't care about. Anyways, he went out into the woods, kicking some rocks as he said in the interview... and all of a sudden he sees this dark monster through this circle window."
I then raised both of my hooves up into the air while facing TK as he looked back. My body straightened out and and put my back up against the seat. I had my pony ears flattened out, wide eyes, and puckered my pony lips as I went while moving my hooves up and down, "OoooooooooOOOoooooooOOOooooOOOooo... "
TK then said calmly towards me, "Was that necessary?"
I then said while giving a slight smile and sitting back down normally like a pony along with a sly look in my eyes, "Yes I did TK. It added to the dramatic effect."
I then gave TK a slight tap on his shoulder with my left pony hoof as he returned to staring into dead space. I doubt he liked it but he kept to himself clearly.
I then said went on while look back down at the documents, "He described it has it being brown, big, strong, and tall. he also said it had many sharp teeth to bite others with along with a set of claws. It also gave this evil stare at him... he also described it as it being a Wolf like creature. Well... he got closer as he got curious... and then it jumped out through the window, which I'm guessing he was referring to the portal to the Other Side... and he bit him on the right forearm. He said he felt pain... but he also felt a little weird. Well... soon he started to feel pain from within and he slowly turned into the monster that bit him... and soon... he was a monster... werewolf type monster that is. He soon was in control of his actions and decided it would be perfect to rip his parents limb from limb. And so... he raced to his own home, without a care of making noise or not, which he did... and it woke up a lot of ponies and little kids that night to see a scary monster outside their window."
TK turned his head towards me and said, "Just like that?"
I then turned my head towards him and said to him with a confident smile on my face while nodding towards him, "Yup... just like that... Crazy, I know... "
I then continued on the little bed time story, "Well... he got to his parents house to tear them to shreds. Afterwards... he headed towards the woods and was not to be seen again that very same night. Soon... a bunch of ponies went out to investigate where the monster went... but all they found was Tom sleeping on a pile of leaves. They assumed it was him who did it... and of course... makes a valid point. I mean who else would be sleeping on a pile of leaves? Anyways... he was then taken into questioning... and well... he was then executed, although oddly not by the command of Celestia, but by of someone else. And now he ends up in purgatory, at least according to Celestia that is... the end..."
I then turned my head towards TK while putting down the documents and saying with a whimsical look in my eyes, "Well that was a nice little story... huh TK?"
TK just stared at me through is helmet as he turned to look at me... so obviously I wouldn't be able to tell what expression he was making on his face... whatever that might have been that is.
But of course... I'm sure people will just equally complain just like college kids complain about jokes that they think are racist or sexist... or femnazis complaining about equal rights. They go overboard and are unnecessary... but you get the idea at least. Anyways, I did and still wonder what kind of expressions that he does make under that helmet of his. But I never thought him up with a face as I said once before. For all I know... nothing could be under there... and only that idea that he never takes off his helmet can make him alive and exist as the way he is.
But hey... you could always use your imagination... Well you could... nothing stopping you. Although it does make one wonder what he is thinking and saying underneath that helmet of his doesn't it? Well maybe not you, but to me at least, it does drive my mind a little wild you know? What does he look like under that little mask of his? Sure, you'd be thinking I would know. But I never made him that way, and as the rules goes it seems... I cannot tell what lies under his helmet. Nor can I make up one for him now as it's far too late to do so. Sure, maybe thinking of an alternate universe I could, change up the rules and everything.
But yet somewhere deep down it's for the best I don't do that even. I mean it wouldn't matter, it would be his real face. But his real face was and will still be a mystery to me. I made someone under that suit of armor while lacking most emotions. Sure I did it out of pure boredom and from my mind purely. Yet, I created and crafted something that is supposed to be human in some kind of way. But yet, I am forbidden to look upon my own creation. Simply due to the fact that I created it to be that way.
That's like if God couldn't see his own image. Sure, maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this. Yet here we were, sitting on a train as it grinds on the rails in the dead of the middle of the night. The train lights were on with one or two buzzing, almost about to be dead. And there were only two other passengers besides us just chilling and minding their own business. All on our way to break into an old castle to find some old secret. Who knows what kind of ghost haunted the forest and land that we passed by, or the memories that would surely haunt our minds as we move forward away from this point in time.
All the while I was talking about ghost stories that you would tell to your kids before bed. Reading files that I had to dig up somewhere that collected nothing but dust and sat there for who knows for how long. And reading what some of what it seems to e only pure speculation. Sure, nothing is out of the ordinary here considering the things that I've seen and done. Yet who knows if any of it was was true or it ever happened at all. And all the while I'm talking about ghosts and dead kids and kids who went fucking nuts, turning into something that society didn't want them to become. And all of that, and I don't se one look on TK's face. Instead I just get dead stares and cold shoulder answers from him. And every now and then, he turns and twists into what I molded him to be when I made him from my mind all those years ago.
In the end, in the dead of night, the only thing right next to me is a devil. One of many in a sea of almost endless universes one right the other. And out of anyone that I could be talking to, even the goodliness of all good gods that there ever could exist, I'm sitting right next to a devil that I made that I cannot even see with my own eyes.
Is it a creator's dilemma? Is this something that just happens when you are so careless to create and don't think twice of what you do? Then again, all I ever done with created him, gave him some traits, and that was it. Everything itself I just let it go naturally and let him grow as such. And because of my choice, he has grown into something else. Something more darker than dark. Something more dark that you can't even see it for yourself.
Something lies beneath that helmet of his. I know there is. But whatever it is, I am never meant to see. I don't even know TK knows what is on his face either. Would he even care at all? Probably not, but the implications that he ever would is absurd. He has been crated not from my own image, but from my own mind. And somewhere in my own mind, somewhere in the sub consciousness; a place that I will never access or get to even think of, lies the answer to my question most likely. And because of that, TK is who he is today. A mind that I know nothing of. And yet here he was, bright as day standing and sitting before me. A devil in disguise while being of my own creation. A creation that will forever haunt me and my mind as those lonely nights come and go.
He has become something more that I ever could have expected to be though. And because of that, I cannot be upset, but only baffled by my own mind and creation. Then again... I don't think much else though... but as I was saying what happened on the train.
Well... TK looked at me and after a few moments of silence, which by now silence has become my only friend... especially in the past.
TK then said to me with a cold hard stare into my soul as he explained to me, "Those were interesting stories Knight. However... I can understand of interviewing two of them. One we can simply walk up to and talk to, the other we can break into the mental hospital and try our best to talk to the filly, for she may or may not cooperate with us at all. Either due to her being insane, loneliness, the medication, or something else that haunts her. There are many factors that can come into play where she will not talk to us and what we ask for her to talk about. However, for the last one, Tom... how do you suppose we talk to him when the time comes for it?"
I then said with an awkward look on my face, "Well... there's always tartarus... that one place that should be this universes' hell... but isn't. Now that I think of it... it's kind of like a hell... but a hell if you're alive and if you're a supernatural thing. I mean there is many weird things that belong in it. But if you're dead... you'll either end up in the official hell... purgatory... which I'm sure was made by god of this universe... or Hell... or in other, specific words... Neon's Hell, where it's not the official hell for this universe. And with that Hell it's much worse than purgatory. At least that's as far as I can tell. Neon is a bitch sometimes."
I then looked away from TK and rolled my eyes to think about something. Then after a few seconds of silence has passed, I started to put my right hoof to my chin as I was taken a bit back.
I then said out loud while sort of speaking my mind a bit to myself with a curious look on my face, "But at least it's better than that one alternate universe that I found one time way back when where it was an alternate ending of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends show... where Bloo pretty much killed Mac. In a very dark and depressing way. I mean I was just randomly looking at the many universes when I first found the portals and such and I just happened to stumble upon it. I wonder what would Craig and Lauren would think if they were to see what I saw? Maybe they would be in disgust... or maybe Lauren would be in disgust as Craig would laugh it off as some sort of joke... which I suppose it is depending which way you look that is."
I then looked back at TK like normal with a small smirk across my face as I said to said to him while point my left hoof at him, "Although speaking about that... and yes TK... I'm going off topic again... don't get angry with your eyes that I cannot see."
I then was silent for a little bit with an awkward look again on my face. I was wondering if he would respond to what I had just said to him not too long ago as to what I had said to him.
TK did respond and he said to me while getting a little close to me just a bit, "It's starting to sound like that you're trying to be careful of me. Is that what you're trying to do right now?"
I then told him while my eyes went wide and I had a nervous look on my face , "Well... I just don't want to get you annoyed is all, so if you want to drown my voice out... go ahead... although I suppose you do have a point. It's like I'm trying to make a joke to all those who seem to have a problem of me doing things differently. Or you know... you do you and stuff... just uhh... don't hit me."
TK then said as he went back to staring to dead space, "I'm not going to do such a thing. And I never will. Even if I do look like it."
I then said as my muscles started to relax a bit and my face was calm, "Oh... ok then... "
Yeah... now that I recall that I once said that... yeah... it seems that's what I do don't I? But of course not many of you would get what I'm saying because some of you, I'm willing to bet, are having a fit whether or not this is dumb what I'm writing while riding a phoenix... and to that good sir or lady... go nut yourself you son of a weed whacker... yeah... See what I just did there? Now everything is going to be magical. Just trust me. It's a ride for the both of us...
Anyways, I then continued my conversation with TK and told him with a slight smile on my face, "Well... as I was saying beforehand... or hoof... whatever, we're not trying to be politically correct here because honestly... I actually have a brain and too smart for that kind of stuff. Now what was I saying? Oh yeah... speaking of the whole Foster's thing, I remember those days... don't you TK? Oh those were wonderful days when we were both young and were exploring the universes ourselves. Remember how we would just go out and find whatever we could find along with Lawman... remember him?"
TK then said to me as he continued to look straight forward, "I do not have any good memories of my past, I never had any pleasant memories whatsoever. All I have are painful memories of the past that I want to only forget. Unless of course... I have unfinished work with such a memory, like a grudge against someone. Then in that case, I would find whoever I hold a grudge to... and make sure that person suffers worse than death and hell combined. I would break them and make them lose everything but themselves and leave them with nothing in the end. I would burn their homes, kill their loved ones including their children in front of them, and strip them of everything they hold dear. It's the only thing I can think when I do feel anything or even remember anything for that matter."
TK then quietly turned his head and looked at me dead straight into my eyes while not saying a single word to me.
I then said to him while ears were flatten backwards, my eyes were wide, my body taken a back, my muscles tightened, and my mind on high alert, "Wow...TK... I really did make you to be a really emotionless guy...did I? Then again at least you feel anger...and that you do have some respect and loyalty... so I'll give you that. Right? He he... that's all you feel towards me. And not anger? I gave you a uhh... good life and uhhh... stuff?"
then had a nervous smile on my face as I got a little tense around TK. So to lighten the mood up a bit, I gave a little chuckle to myself.
I then went on saying while trying to relax my body and looking elsewhere aside from TK's void of a helmet and said, " But not a good example of what you just said there TK... but whatever... it doesn't matter. I mean it's not like those two over there are listening... right guys?"
I then pointed with my right hoof towards the two ponies that I mentioned once before. I then gave them a big ol' smile as me and TK stared at them.
Once I did that, they both looked at me with weird looks on their faces that said, 'Who's that! What am I seeing! Is that you Ma! Is that you from beyond the grave!? Are you trying to tell me something... like "If not Arctic Aurora!?" If so... I'm sorry that I sucked on your tits every night Ma... but your milk was so sweet that I had to kill my little brother because he was hogging it all... Ma!? Please don't try to raise the dead before my very eyes! Can't you see I'm black Ma!? And a stupid one at that! For fuck shake Ma... I bang the Confederate flag every night and pretend it's my wife! I try to make it jerk me off too while I cum all over its face while I watch black people on a Transformers porn website while listening to "Africa.'
Yeah that's the kind of face that they were making. I mean it would seem obvious to me... that kind of face... pretty much says everything. Perhaps even the meaning of life itself.
Anyways, they also had wide eyes and such and I then said to the both of them while having shifty eyes and a clean look with a smile on my face, "Right guys? You're not listening to our conversation whatsoever?"
Then the young looking stallion that looked like a drug addict said, "What are you looking at me for you fucker!? Do you want get cut you son of a bitch? I'll cut you if you don't stop looking at me?"
He was shaking a little too while gritting his teeth like his life depended on it. It was most likely that he didn't have his fix for the day.
I then said while slowly putting my right forearm down with an honest smile running down my face, "No thank you... I've seen... enough disease affected knives in my day. Most of them had anthrax on it surprisingly... even I was stunned it didn't have AIDS. Well... carry on you two, just wanted to show TK over here that you two do not give a single care in the world what we're talking about?"
Then the young stallion said, while going back to looking at the old stallion like a pervert with a sex addiction, "Yeah... sure, whatever you say... "
Then he continued to stare at that old stallion and give him that evil look. You know... the one that says... well I'm pretty sure I don't have to describe evil. It's basically up to you however you see evil as, so really I can't jump in and give a description for an evil look. Really anyone can see evil differently... as in someone could see a cookie as being evil... or a chair is evil because it's about to rape someone... like the color black...did I get you yet? No?
Ok... I'm moving on now.
Aside from all of that; TK then said to me as he turned to look at me, "Can you just get to your point you were trying to make?"
I then told him as I looked at him with a genuine smile this time while moving my head slightly up and down, "Sure... without distractions this time around... I promise. Maybe. what I was trying to get at is... I recall watching that show, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends; back on Earth from way back when. Honestly I can't believe I'm even remembering it, but whatever. I didn't think nothing of it. Heck, I can't believe I remember anything from that old place at all. You think I would have forgotten about it by now. Yet for some strange reason, there are memories that stick to me... like they haunt me..."
I started to look off into the dead space too like how TK did. And I started to think and say my words both at the same time as my genuine smile disappeared and came a look of seeing a ghost of some kind.
I then said said to TK with a sort of slight emotion added to my tone, "Memories that still seem to stick to me, even though I've tried to move on and forget. I've tried my best to just move on from all of it. You know it as much as I do that I tried to leave and never look back at that place. Not because I hated it or I feared it, but because I wanted to forget in order to move on. And yet somehow, some memories still stick with me from that place despite barely being able to remember a damn thing. It's been so long that I don't even remember my old name, let alone my last. I don't remember the face of those that birthed me, and I don't remember who I had relationships with. I only remember those sunsets and lonely nights. And yet somehow... and some way, despite it's little significance those memories hold, they are still with me."
I started to hang my head a bit low to the ground with a bit of droopy eyes coming to fill in the look on my face
I continued on with my thoughts as I said to him, "It's like ghosts that will forever haunt me. Memories that are calling to me to go back to it, to find something that they want me to see for myself with my new eyes. Yet... I don't think I ever could do it, even if I tried. You cant go back to it, you can't go back and repeat the past. Well, not unless the past wants you to repeat it that is. Otherwise, you're stuck in the present, forever being haunted by your own memories. Maybe it's not something that I did, but it's what the memories want me to see and feel inside my own head. And it does so as it yearns for your return, waiting as if it was an old friend waiting for you to come back and play with it one last time. What I'm trying to say is TK... I want to relive those memories, as I feel like... they are a part of me that I just don't want to let go. A part of me feels like I cannot let go of it as it cannot let go of me either as were one in the same."
I then started to remain quiet for just a bit while still looking down at the floor, looking a bit depressed. All the while I was recalling all of the memories as it came flooding into my mind, not being able to think of anything else. I had remembered all the things that I had did, seen, saw... and while I did feel like I had the will to move past it all and to continue think in the present, I couldn't help but feel weak to the memories of what made me who I was then and what I am still now.
TK saw this within me as he looked at me with his devil eyes underneath his helmet and he said to me, "You're distracted again. You're off the line and can't keep focus. And you are weak. But because it's you, I understand. The memoires however are what make you weak in the first place to begin with. The memories don't haunt you like a ghost. They are you. They are a part of you and your own mind. They don't haunt you from the shadows, but only in your dreams. And when you're not looking, your sub-conscious. And they are merely just thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less. They don't control you. You control it. But that is why you're weak along with so many others that I have seen. You let the memories control you and your emotions. These are simply feeling that are forever passing without judgment. They should not control you and your train of thought, but they do. And I see why. Your memories haunt you because you want it to be that way. There is nothing in the darkness that lies before you, only what you make in the darkness itself. It is what you create, and that's how you created me. So I ask you, how far are you willing to go to relive your memories that you say call for you to come back?"
I was then silent for a while, staring wide eye at TK not sure how to respond back to him; until I spoke up and said with profound thought in my voice, "I'm not sure really. All I can say that I am only weak because you say that I am weak. But I know in my mind I'm only weak because that is what I am. I am not like you. I created you, but the one who created me did not make me like you. And All I can say is I don't really about that at all. I'm just glad to be alive the way that I am and what I've done. And to me, reliving the past would be all the more worth it. But at the same time, I probably shouldn't in fear of losing myself in an endless loop of reliving old memories and never moving on from them. The memoires want to latch on to me and never let me go sometimes I feel."
I started to look forward and let my head droop to the floor a bit. I then looked towards the ground, gathering all of my thoughts.
I continued on with my words towards TK and said to him while not looking at him while he looked back at me in a calm state, "However, in the end, I still wouldn't mind reliving it, but I can only hope for such a thing. As much as the memories try to call me back, time does not let such a thing happen. It keeps pushing us further and further away from the thing that we all want most. And the thing that we want most is never within reach. Even though we know it in our hearts that we so desire for that thing to have, we can never get it. Time is never on our side. It is always against us in some way. And no matter how much we fight with it, the clock keeps on ticking away at the second and into the minutes and hours. And as the time goes by us in a flash, the further we drift away from the memories. And the further we drift away from the memories, the weaker they become and the sooner that we forget them."
I started to form a worried look on my face, but that of a sad on at that.
I continued to say as I raised my head up just a tad, "And that's why the memories try to latch on to you and keep you in its ever so tightening grips. It doesn't want to die. And it knows that. If you forget, it goes away like it didn't exist to begin with. So you can never forget. You will always have those memories forever haunting your dreams every night. Anyone that you knew that was once alive will always talk to you in your dreams so you can keep remembering them and their memories. If you have an idea, it will not slip from your mind unless your own mind doesn't deem it to be important. And your memories themselves will never leave you because it needs to live. And to live is to remember. Other wise we would be nothing but mindless robots. We didn't remember, we would be nothing. We are nothing without those memories. So we have to remember. We have to continue to be forever haunted by our own idea and thoughts. And for me, I have to be haunted by someone like you forever."
I then raised my head up and turned my attention to TK. My face was that of a down in the dumps kind of one.
I then said to TK as I let my eyes drift to the side a bit downwards, "Someone like you TK, you will always be there with me one way or another. In a way, you are a memory. But you are a memory that have taken a different form and have a mind of your own. You're almost a living and walking memory. But if for some reason if I were to forget you, would you even still exist? Would someone like TF even exist at all if I were to forget him. Are is that you and him have gone so far off the line that you are who you are? And that you have become something more than what I made you out to be in my own memories? In the end, we are nothing but memories. It is what makes alive in the end. And it keeps us from going sour. If we didn't have the memories to haunt us like ghosts, we would have nothing."
I then turned my head away from TK and looked back down at the ground again.
I then said to end off my little monologue of thoughts and ideas, "So to answer your question TK, yes I would relive those memories of mine. And it's mostly because we are already reliving it everyday. We thinking about it and go through the memories everyday and trying to remember the littlest details. The memories never left. We just keep going forward as the memories travel with us wherever we may go. And it shows too. But to truly go back into the past and go back into our past self's mind to relive everything, it's a bit unorthodox. And simply far from what we can even imagine for ourselves. But whatever the case may be, it doesn't make me weak. It only keeps me going."
We were both silent, letting the sounds of the train's tracks and the passing scenery rush by us. And the two other passengers on board was just awkwardly just siting there totally not listening to our conversation. I trust them, they are good and honest citizens after all.
Then eventually that silence was broken when TK said to me, "You're still weak. You did it again even thought you said you wouldn't. But... you make a fair point about yourself. And are right. In a way I am nothing but a memory to you. But at the same time I am alive. I have memories of my own that you did not create. And yet they do not haunt me. I wish not to go back. I only wish to move forward and to remember only. I am something more than you have anticipated. And because of what you created, it makes you strong."
I then asked him as I looked towards him and looked at him kind of funny while squinting my left eye at him, "Are you just saying that because you mean it or are you getting all devilry on me with your fancy philosophies?"
TK then said to me while looking at me with a stern stare, "You should know by now what I meant by that."
I then told him while giving an awkward look on my face while still looking at him funny, "Possibly... I mean honestly you know more about yourself than I do. I mean I don't even know who you even are under that mask. I mean that to me is a mystery that most likely will never be solved. I don't even know your real name or who you are inside. n fact I really don't know much about you other than what I know. I just kind... made you and here you are... weird huh?"
TK then looked away from me and went in to deep thought... at least what I could tell from his body language... because you can tell a lot from one's body. Or maybe not and become a racist... it all depends that is. I mean if a black guy is looking like he's going to pull a gun out, but really it was a bottle of grape soda... and you shoot him... than really... you're the black guy because you had the gun.
Which would mean that the black guy would be the white guy... while the guy with the gun would most likely would be a black guy... so he would still be black. So really you're being a racist to yourself and all those in your own race. But then again he would have just hurt himself because he shot one of his own... drinking a grape soda. Unless of course that black guy had a grape soda can... but really it was Pepsi... in which case makes him a traitor and sort of deserved it. And he is a traitor to the whole state of Georgia because Coca-Cola is made there.
But if the shooter was a white guy...then he would be black... but he had a gun... that or a racist cop. But what would make the Asian though? Green? I don't know... but you get my point... right?
I mean all of my points make a point to something... I mean it obviously makes a good, clear message. But then again I'm writing this to humans... most specifically Americans, in which case they won't get any points because if they did get points, they would have, I don't know... maybe not blame things on a flag that just sits there being nothing but a flag. I mean... they kind of blame things on a flag from time to time and pretend that it killed a black guy even though it didn't… but whatever... I'm not there anymore, so I can't tell.
Well anyway, TK then looked back to me and he then told me, "Then that is quite a mystery for you to solve isn't it? But the question is... did you think me up with a face... a mind... a heart... a name... a life? Did you think me up with an identity? Or did I have to make that up myself?"
I then sat there in my seat, thinking for a bit while squinting my eyes at him... and he was sort of right. I wasn't sure if I had thought him up with a name or a face. It's been so long that I have forgotten about it and those memories are no longer with me. So maybe there is nothing under that helmet of his... at least what I thought that was. However, I then recalled something in my memory as it hit me like a light ball being dropped on my head... it hurt...
I then said to TK while widening my eyes up just a bit, "You know TK... now that you mention it... I'm not even sure. But then again, I have thought about it... and well... I did give you an identity. But the only problem is that I have no clue who you are. So in truth you are someone who I do not know. I have given you a face, a past life that was random and it is completely unknown to me. So... you have a heart TK... I just don't know what that is. The only thing that I do know about you is that you are made from whatever I happened to think of at the time. And it was due to boredom."
TK then stared at the corner ceiling of the train and then looked back to me and said, "Well then... it looks like you shall never know of who I really am."
I then asked him while pointing my left hoof at him while squinting my right eye at him while looking at him funny, "And why is that? I mean, maybe you could tell me or show me."
He then told me while staring back at me with a cold look, "The problem with that is that you never made me with the intention of filling out all the details. If you don't know, how do you even know that I know. I might be something more than what you could think that I could be now, but that doesn't change the rules though. And you said you have forgotten some details. So for all you know, those details are lost and I'm just a robot to you, following the simple line of protocol that you gave me in the very beginning."
I hen asked him while looking a bit tad worried at him, "What do you mean by that?"
He then told me, "What kind of person would think about his or her own creation and not know everything about it... or at least most of it that is. All you know is that I'm someone wearing a suit that doesn't feel emotions most of the time aside from anger, but yet has respect and loyalty to certain people. That and I am the devil and I rule Hell in my universe, but that is all you know about me. So either you were bored or you were really mad at someone or something when you created me inside your head... so... which one was it?"
I then sat there, dumbfounded and really had to think hard about that one. I mean was I mad? I wouldn't say that, as I wasn't wearing a white lab coat and had an evil pair of glasses on at the time. And as for being bored goes, well that bored was true. But I suppose the question is was it really because I was simply bored, or was there some more sinister going underneath? My guess... nope, but it got my noggin thinking for sure, that's one thing to keep in mind about it.
I responded to TK while looking like I knew what I was talking about, "You know what TK... I'm not really sure about that one. I don't recall whether or not if I was bored or mad. That day... I just can't recall what I felt. I think I might have had a boner then though and needed to get something off my mind to make it go down."
TK, ignoring that last comment, then said to me with a final remark, "I see then... but whatever you felt that day is not far from what I feel sometimes. Not that I feel boredom now or go mad. But I do feel that I've had that in my past that you've created for me without evening knowing that you've created it. But one thing is for certain... you are either crazy or bored... or perhaps something else entirely then what I expect. But either way.. .at least you know a little bit more about yourself."
I was then confused by that statement and asked, "What do you mean by that?"
He then told me while looking forward and not at me, "I'm sure you'll figure that part out on your own one day."
I then told him while looking slight annoyed by his comment, "Yeah... no, I want to know right now."
My face thing lit up a bit as I then said with a slight smile on my face, "You know... while we're on the subject of memories..."
TK then told me, "We weren't... we were on whether or not you know who I really am and what caused you to make me."
I then said to him ignoring the comment that he made, "Yeah, I know, but real quick... let me just say this. With the memories and myself... and maybe you... I feel like two and two can go together there."
TK then asked me with a groan in his voice, "Where are you heading with this?"
I then told him with an optimistic smile on face while getting a little giddy like a child, "Well... I was thinking... like maybe a few minutes ago or something like that. I wanted to ask you... do you remember all those years ago? All those years ago from the very beginning? In which case I think that means by your time, that would be more than 50,000 years ago or possibly more since I didn't think of the time that goes by in your Hell."
TK looked at me gently and said to me quickly, "Get to the point Knight."
I then said with a small smile on my face while looking down sideways a bit, "Right... well, do you remember everything that happened, even down to the littlest of details? I mean more than 50,000 years is a long time, even for me. I'm surprised I still remember quite a bit from back then. But for you, is your memory unlimited or what?"
I had then looked at him while raising my right hoof straight up into the air about halfway and then appeared hopeful in my eyes towards him for his answer. TK however just sat there and looked forward again into nothing.
TK then said to me after a few seconds of silence from him and giving a groan while looking slightly downward, "I do Remember Knight. I still remember all of it. It is how you made me. Your mind might be weak, but your mind created me in the end. It might be irony, but I remember everything. I remember of all the universes we went through and the things that we have witnessed. And I remember TF and Lawman. I remember them all. Your point?"
TK then looked quickly to me, waiting an answer from me.
I then calmly smiled and said to him, "Well I have an idea. Since I can't remember everything, and you can remember everything, why don't we try to make something that could give us a way to transfer your memories sort of speak and into way that I can remember them. Perhaps a little memory device. Similar to that memory machine that I made up for you to create that can look into other's memories by getting into their brains. But this way, you could sort of open up a window and truly visualize the experience. Sounds stupid, I know, but with memories being important and all, you think it's possible for you to make something like that?
We were then silent for a few seconds, with me just awkwardly just staring back into his helmet, waiting for an answer. But there was nothing and the silence made me feel stupid about my idea. I started to smile nervously about it.
But then TK spoke up and broke the awkward silence between us, "So you think it's possible to create a device that can open up a one way portal where you can only look and see your own memories? You want me to what is in a sense creating a window into the past, but based only off of what someone can remember, can only be seen and nothing else? Does that sound at all possible to you?"
I then thought for a while and then came to the conclusion and I said after pondering in my head, "Uhhh... is the answer yes? Please tell me it's a yes? Look, I know it sounds all stupid and stuff like that, but it sounds like a cool idea. And sometimes I just want to remember you know. I just know somewhere in my head the memories are there, I just can't always remember every detail is all. I just need something. Hell, if I knew how to make a spell that could look into the past about something, I'd be doing that instead of bothering you. Come on... it's just got to be possible somehow..."
We'll just ignore that last part.. about the whole spell thing and stuff... long story... boy is it getting hot out here or what?... he he he....
Anyways, TK then told me, "It's possible Knight... however not in this reality. Anything is possible, but as the rules of the universes go and everything that we have seen throughout the years, every reality is different. For mine, it might be possible. You didn't exactly fill in every details when you created mine. But at the same time it was a copy of your world, so certain laws of your reality is followed in mine. But hell might be a different story. I could possibly do something here, but I am not aware of the laws of reality in this universe. It would have to be a different universe that we have never been to in order to create such a thing. And even then, the result not might be what you expect. In the end, it is useless to think of such thoughts. Unless you're willing to make the universe with such a reality and find it in the sea of all the other universes, then be my guess. But right now where it all stands, it is pointless to think of such a thing. Get your head out of the clouds and start focusing on the future."
I then sat there with an odd face as I looked a little dead on the inside and looked at the ground. TK then went back to looking forward as well. I then thought in my head as I went a little crazy with my thoughts, 'Hmm... well he's right on the part of the memory machine. His world was the same as my world. I kind of forgot about all about that. Only if I had changed the rules just a tad bit when I made him, I could have gotten a solid yes. Oh well, it was worth a shot though. Then again all it is just a stupid memory machine, a thing to look into the past with vivid detail and to remember it all. To remember Lawman and perhaps TF when he was more or less innocent. Perhaps to even remember who I was back on Earth. It's been so long since I remember anything from that old place. Oh well, I guess it doesn't hurt me to forget. But then again, this universe might have something that I could use for it. Magic perhaps? I do have some powerful magic after all... hmmm.... nah... that sounds crazy...'
hmmmmm, ignore that... last... part... So yeah, I was dead on the inside. But then I looked up and noticed my surroundings for once.
I then continued to think in my head I stared calmly throughout the scenery, 'But honestly...I feel like this train is going nowhere in my opinion. It sure is taking a long time to get to Cantorlot. But then again Cantorlot is a ways off. Speaking of Cantorlot... I've noticed that some of the names and such are different then the show... but then again... it's all about being in the universes... and going through many, this is what will happen. So if it Cantorlot is spelled differently, then that's what it is. But I do wonder why is that though? Am I not in the exact show? Perhaps not. Maybe this is a different universe, which would explain the Neon part of it all... but really who the fuck cares. Does it really matter in the end? Oh well... I wonder why I haven't thought up an old 80's song in my head in a long while now? Hold on... give me a moment to think of one... ok now I got one... and it's a nice Christmas song one too...
'Well... that was kind... of odd... why would I ever think that up? Was that because my mind is getting dark and such... why do I feel like I have the urge to laugh right now since I thought that song in my head? And why the fuck wasn't it 80's? Now I'm questioning where Christmas 9/11 is at? Where is it? Where is it! WHERE THE FUCK IS CHRISMTAS 9/11 AT!? Oh well... it doesn't matter... because... of reason... of a monkey fucker's fish nuts... that's why... They caused the aids in 84. Anyway, I should get back to my conversation with TK so we can get to the planning of what we are out here on this night to do... which is breaking into Cantorlot castle. That's weird just saying in my head. I could just probably ask her very nicely and I could get whatever the files that I need from her. Probably even ask Twilight. Could just lie and need something for my research. Hmmm... not sure if that would have worked but I could have tried that to begin with. Well it's too late now. It's a fine night to break into someone's private property anyway. I should talk to TK now... '
I then looked to TK and said while getting an idea in my head with a bit of hopeful yet sad eyes on my face, "Well... you got me there TK. He he... Although... now that we're on the subject of you... I'm starting to question why I'm even with you at all. I mean you're clearly better, stronger, smarter, and not to mention more devilish than I am... but I do feel like we're an odd couple together. Not in that way of manner speaking... and when I mean by that... I mean not in a shipping way. I don't want to dick you. And the reason I bring that up is everyone that I usually meet has a sick mind...and usually the furries are the ones who want to dick things without question. Almost anything really."
TK then stared at me for a few seconds, probably trying to ignore my weird dicking comment, until he said to me, "First off, I don't know want to know what you mean. Second, I see what you mean. It is on a logical level odd that we are together. We are different from one another. And in any other universe where you are not my creator, I would have killed you right now. But that is why we are together you and I. You re the creator and I am the creation. We are bounded together through mind and body. We have a connection to one another. And while that connection might not be a close one, we both share the same mind. And unlike most creators and creations, we have the rare ability to meet each other. And so we move on, continuing to converse with one another until one of us is either dead or we part ways. And until that day comes of either of the two scenarios happening, we will continue to be together despite our differences. But that doesn't matte until the very end of our days."
I then looked at him curiously and asked him while waving my head to the side a bit while asking him, "Well, what if that day doesn't come? What if we happen to continue to go on forever and ever?"
TK just simply looked towards the ground a bit and with a low groan and said, "If such a thing ever exists, then it's one in an infinity. We are not supposed to go on forever, regardless if we're creator or creation. We all have ends Knight. I even have my end. And at some point, you might have to say goodbye to me. I will not know how or why, but we all decay in some way. And I suspect the same from you. You might have been able to mock death and use the universes to your advantage to expand your life expectancy by an infinite amount, but the universes will not last forever. At some point it will all cease to exist and return to nothingness. But if to say your hypothetical question were to ever happen; if a universe were to ever exceed its own life, then it will be a miracle and against the laws of life itself. To be with no end is insanity itself. But if it is possible, and we're in it, then hope we never have to remember what came before. But that doesn't matter right now. IT's all simple hypotheticals that you can never understand Knight. Right now for you and I, we should just focus on getting what you came here for, and find TF and end him once and for all... "
I then looked a bit confused and I then asked him, "Wait... why are you talking about TF and killing him all of a sudden? I know you have your differences and all, but I thought we should at least find him first and see... "
TK then cut me off to say his response as, "I know you want to find TF. I know he was one of your first creations in your mind when you were young. I know you want to give him a second chance so badly. but he can not go on to live. He's been a pain in our ass ever since we found him in that tundra of dead thoughts and ideas. All he had done is been a thorn in our side and he cannot go on to live any longer because of it. The things that he has done can only make me guess of what he is only capable of now since we've lost contact with him. And with him and his connection to the satellites, we can only assume he has something planned for us, including Factory Dash. And has the one who you created, I have my sense of loyalty to you. And will not stop until you are dead. I know you have a soft spot for him somewhere in your heart, but I do not. To me, he is no more than a cockroach that needs to be put out like a light."
I started to have a disappointing and sad look form on my face. I didn't want to hear what TK had to say about him. Somewhere, I wanted to save TF, still thinking he has a chance at life and can be turned.
TK went on to say to my as he got a little bit closer to my face as he leaned in just a bit, "And honestly, I had thought you were lost forever. I had thought after TF had trapped you in that universe, you were going to be gone forever, and my sense of loyalty to you would have been failed. But all I could do was move on without you and continue to do what you made me to do in my own universe. To fulfill my role as the devil of my world. I never thought I would see you again. And then I saw you still alive. And to me that's all that mattered. Knowing that my creator was still alive out there. I may not care for anyone else out there. But you gave me life, and so I must pay the favor in keeping you alive. But knowing that TF is still out there, whatever he is planning, I will not stop until he is dead... no matter what you say, for it is only for the both of us to be better off that way."
TK was starting to get into my head. He was starting to make some sense of TF and everything that he has done and why we needed to kill him. But a part of name and my heart still didn't want to hear it no matter what TK said. Even if it sounded like common sense, I didn't want to listen. I only wanted t listen to what my heart was saying at that moment. And TK could see that on my face.
However despite all of that, TK continued on, knowing that he was pushing me and my mind, "But we cannot find TF, for he has found a way to hide from us, so that only makes me wonder if he is planning to strike at any moment. That or something truly has gone wrong with him. In which case, we would need to move as fast as we can to find him, but I do believe that will not happen, as that would be the case of TF. He is strong in a way, and by this point, whatever happened to him... he might not even show up. But I will not rest easily until I find that son of a bitch and rip is head off. I know you don't want to hear a word that I have to say. But whether you like it or not, I'm going to find him and kill him. For the both of us. You think he deserves redemption. I believe he deserves nothing but being erased from existence entirely. And I would hope you would come to your sense and come to that very same conclusion too. "
In some ways TK was making sense. He was right. He was dangerous and needed to be put down like an uncontrollable pit-bull. And he did want me dead. I could feel it. And in some way he might get to me before TK could get to him. And that without TK, I might not be able to kill the beast and it could be my end that way. And so I should let TK kill him for me so everything can be good inn the end and I can focus on having a peaceful life here like I originally wanted. Well you know, after I figure out the whole universe thing and all. But still, I still was hanging on for TF. No matter what, no matter how hard TK tired to make his mind like mine, I was keeping strong to my thoughts and ideas.
TK then moved back a bit from my face and ended his little conversation with me, "Besides, I've already got plenty of blood on my hands from all of the things that I have done. The murders, the dead kids, and even the devil himself and his dealings are all on my hands. It is how I think and act, as that is what you made me out to be. And with my hands that you gave me, I will only get even more blood on them. Will sin even more and continue like this until I have reached my own end or I am killed. Either way, TF deserves what is coming to him. You may have created him, but sometimes creations need to be wiped from the board. It was a bad idea to even make him in the end Knight. But I forgive you because your mind was young. You didn't give him much. But I am here now, and I will fix your mistake that you fucked up with. And it will be done with the blood on my hands as I strike down your old creation. Unless you intervene, I will do the work that my god could not. So unless you want to strike me down yourself, I will do what I was made to do. Am I not correct Knight?"
I then sat there and thought about it for a while, stunned for a bit as I stared down at the ground looking a little sad from within. I wasn't sure what to make out of TK's comments. I wasn't even expecting to have this conversation with him that night on that train with him. But, one thing leads to another, it all leads to somewhere eventually.
I said to him while looking back at him with glowing sad eyes that were tearless, "Yeah... you're right I guess... but with you killing him and all... that's... disappointing to me."
TK then asked me while looking all high and mighty in his beliefs, "And may I ask why is that disappointing to you?"
I then told him, "Well... I thought... w-why does it need to be that way? Why can't we just try. I get it, I made you the way you are. I'm not going to deny that. If I wanted you any different, I would have thought you up differently. But at the same time, you're sort of free to think for yourself. You're not necessarily bounded by the universe that I crated for you. Well, sort of speak I guess. I guess you're technically still have your limitations, but still... you can be whoever you want to be and go wherever you want to go. You don't even have to play the devil anymore. I only got up to that point about you and that was it. You're still alive and everything is a blank from there for me. You don't always have to be the devil that you are now. You can be alive and learn to loosen up a little, you know? And that goes for TF. You don't have to kill him. We can try to free him and so him the brighter side of things. It doesn't have to be doom and gloom for us all. There are brighter days for even the worst of us."
TK then said to me, "I see what you mean... you see the brighter side of everything even in it's darkest. And you think someone like me, someone who has killed and tortured many and became the devil; has a chance at having a heart. Am I correct?"
I then was frozen... I didn't move a single muscle whatsoever. I continued to stare at TK deep into his blackened helmet into what I thought was his own eyes that I could never see. I had the look of a sad look still. And then I lowered my head a tad bit downward and started to think calmly to myself, trying to conceive a single thought of response to to TK. My muscles then started to relax a little bit and I looked away from TK's helmet as I went into some deep thoughts of mine. Because mind was really deep. And it's so deep, it's deeper than Ground Zero. In New York. Where all the people died at... And possibly... even deeper than an Indian burial ground. Take that you Indians. I metaphorically took your land and your graveyards too. How you like them apples? Yeah... that's right... nothing, cause I took that too.
But seriously, I was having a moment to myself and instead of cracking a joke towards a Native's expense. I was thinking to myself and reflecting on what I had said to TK. And he was right in what he suspected from me. I saw the brighter side to things. Not everything is doom and gloom you know. Even though it may seem like that way sometimes, it is merely just a mirage. A false sense to cope and seethe and rather just being plain hopeful. And that there is always a silver lining somewhere off into the distance. Somehow, in some way, at some point, there will always be a paradise somewhere waiting. As TK said, there is an end to everything, even to the bad stuff. And in my mind, there was an end to TF's anger towards me. And TK could have his end too if he had wanted to. Granted, I wasn't sure if he really wanted that but he could have if he tried hard enough. But he was free to think for what he wanted to live for.
I then looked back up to and I said to TK a calm look upon my face, "You... are correct. I do see the brighter side to things. And I see brighter days for you too. I see that you are free to do whatever. You don't have to stick around if don't want to. Sure, I'd prefer if you didn't run off on your own and leave me hanging, but still, you're free. Maybe you will always be stuck by your own laws that I put on you, but you are free to go wherever. That was the best thing about finding these universes. No one to tell you where to go or what to do. To see new sights that you could only imagine, if at all. No one to hold you down and put a boot on your neck. You're free. And no one can stop but yourself."
TK then said to me back as he looked deeply into my eyes once more as he raised his head high, "I understand Knight. I do. But that is not who I am. I am what you made me. I feel what you made me to feel."
TK then looked forward into nothingness and continued to speak his little speech, "I hear what you made me to hear. I see what you made me to see. And everything that you have molded me into is what you see before you right now. I am of your own creation, from your own mind. No matter how hard you want me to change, I cannot. It is too late for that. But you're right, I am free. And I am free to do anything else but change for who I am."
I then asked him solemnly as I leaned in towards him a bit, "B-but... don't you ever think you want to change though, even just a little bit?"
TK continued to look forward as he said to me dead on, "I cannot say. I can only think what you made me to think. The question is not that I am free, but rather do I have my own, personal free will. I do not have that answer. You are my creator. Only you have that answer for me. And I don't really care if I know so or not. It is how I am."
I then started to look a little bit down as my eyes drooped towards the floor of the train. I then had a small smile form on my face as I looked upwards to TK.
I then said to him with a little hope from my tone, " Well, whatever you may think about yourself. I still care. You are mine after all. And I hope for the best of days for you. Hell, I hope for the best of days for myself as well. I haven't been having the best of days myself living in this universe. Sure, I was looking for a little action just like any average Joe out there would. But I think I got more than what I bargained for... you know?"
TK then made a gesturer as if he was confused as he straightened his back up a bit and asked while still looking straight forward, "What do you mean by that statement that you said? What do you mean you think you got more than what you bargained for?"
I then was a little shocked that he was interested in what I had to say as I had a surprise look on my face.
I then said to him while taken a back a little bit and said with some hesitation in my voice, "Well... ok then... didn't think you would ask that at all... but whatever I guess. What I mean by that is that I do feel that this is only the beginning. Perhaps the adventure for all three of us, you, Factory Dash, and I are not done yet with out little adventures together. In fact, I feel like we're far from done with our adventures together. Especially for me specifically. And I'm not talking about TF either."
TK then looked towards me suddenly and then demanded to me, "Explain."
I then had a curious look on my face almost like I had stumbled upon something and said, "I feel like this universe isn't just a typical universe. I think it is alive in someway. And that it knows that I am here as well as you. And that there is something to this place here than just a simple My Little Pony universe. IT's certainly a different place, more than what I have come to expect. Initially I just thought it was an Official Universe for My Little Pony as whole, for G4 anyways that is. Yet the more time I spend here, the more off it seems to me. The more it feels like I haven't stumbled into the show, but rather into another world entirely base doff of that show. And that there is much more out there for me and the other guys back in Stalia to find and explore that is meant for us. Like it is fate itself that has led me here and I'm supposed to be doing something here. Then again, for the past few weeks, or in the past few weeks, I had visions about something that I am not sure of. And I think Neon might know something about it, but he's not giving me clear signals about it. The more I think about it, the more I think he's just fucking around with me... or not..."
TK then asked me with a low groan as he leaned in towards me like he was angered by something, "What visions?"
I then told him as I leaned backwards a bit with an nervous look on my face towards TK, "Well... as far as I can make out of it all... uh... you know Celestia and Luna... right?"
TK then said as he backed off a bit to give me some space, how nice, "Very much so... I had an encounter with Celestia before of course.. .but not the one that you saw... "
I then asked him with a curious look on my face while I slightly raised my right hoof up, "What do you mean by that? When did you first encounter Celestia and exactly how?"
TK then told him as I became more relaxed and TK explaining his little adventure, "It was when I was looking for you and I came into Cantorlot and broke into her school. Soon all the guards saw me as a threat and I killed all those that I saw that were in my way... By the end of it, I met her with taking a family hostage, beating them severely, killing their two children while taking one of their young colts as a hostage that I kept alive so Celestia could then let me go in peace... or else I would have killed her right then and there. I would have had no problem with it whatsoever. But I didn't have the time to waste on her. So. continue on what you were saying."
I then said while trying to process what TK had said to me, "Ummm..... ok then... well as far as I can make out what the visions were about... It's that the visions that I received told me that there is a little brother of Celestia and Luna somewhere in this world that has gone missing. Now they have never mentioned a younger sibling to me or anyone else as far as I know, nor do I think they know about it either. I think there was some sort of evil force that kidnapped the little brother, somewhere in the past at a certain point where those two wouldn't have known they would have had a little brother in the first place... and now time has changed to where it's an alternate reality. My only guess is the mother, who seems to be God in this universe... may or may not know about this."
I then had a cynical look on my face as I then said plainly to TK, "But I wouldn't be able to do such a thing and ask her about it... since that would require me to kill myself. That and I'm unsure how aggressive she can be, so I wouldn't say the option of killing myself is the best of all options."
I then went back to looking hopeful and asked TK," Perhaps you can find a way to talk to her, since... you know... you're the devil and all? You might be able to to transfer to the land of the dead I'm guessing. It's been on my mind lately and I've been thinking about trying to solve this lost brother mystery thing. It was really getting to my head and I feel like it's still there sometimes even though it isn't. Perhaps that is why I am here you know?"
TK was then silent for a bit until he said to me while being dead straight with me, "First, that's not how it works. Second, this is news to me... I am not so sure about your visions. They seem too odd to me to look past. But as far as going to this universe's heaven, I can see what I can do. Sometimes there is a back door to those places. But I would need to find an entry point of some kind, to go between realities between the living souls and here of the dead. But I cannot say for sure if I can even do that here. Back in my universe I can. But here, we shall see if I can. But if not, I'll just have to keep a closer eye here. But you do realize, you have died more than once before... correct?"
Oh yeah, I kind of forgot about that. Yet it's been so long that it barely escaped my mind. But TK was there to put all of the pieces back in place for my mind. In short, I kind of died like once or twice. The details are scarce... for now... yeah I'm teasing you. Am I turning you on right now? Yeah I bet I am. You're getting really wet just by thinking of it... as you have a very small bladder...
Anyways, it was nothing really. But if I recall from off the top of my head, death is weird. Scary, yet weird. First time wasn't easy I think. Only subtle, with each death being a different ending. But me then coming back to life is nothing new, let alone in the whole picture of all of the universes that exists. In the eye of the whole idea that we even exist at all, death is nothing and coming back from it is a dime a dozen for many. Not that anyone can do it. It might not be anything special, but you have a better chance at winning the lottery on a blue moon while being eaten by a great white shark that is being eaten by a blue whale that is masturbating than coming back from the dead. And I got my lucky number twice.
And yet I feel like despite being so lucky in my life, I don't think I could come back a third time. But then as I said, every death is different. And what was going through my mind was that this universe could have a different death. A different death that forward. Perhaps one that was painless with a sense of hope installed in it. That or it was a cheap death and no more than that. You never really could know what lied on the other side. Not as a whole, but for which universe. And in this universe filled with nothing but talking Technicolor ponies with magic involved, who knows what death was truly like here, how many deaths there was. How many layers there to life or to existence itself? I didn't know then and to be fair, that answer still escapes me, not really show how far everything goes, let alone in all of the universes that exist out there, eve the ones that I have still yet to catch even the tiniest of glimpses of.
I then said to TK while looking at him with a slight smirk on my face while staring at him hopefully, "Yeah... you're very much right at that part... I did die more than once before. Although, when are you going to go do that heaven thing? Like... tomorrow... or something?... "
TK then said to me with an annoyed groan in his throat, "I don't even know if I can even. If Heaven is anything like the universe that you made for me, then it's going to be a while before I can even pass through the pearly gates. But until then, just be patient. I'll let you know if I can even do it."
I then asked TK with a curious look on my face as my right eye brow was raised up, "But what if you can't get in?"
TK then said to me with another groan in his voice, but this time not so annoyed by my little comment, "Then we'll find another way to get what we need. Speaking of which, you mind telling me more about these so called "visons" that you've been having? Or would you like to continue to keep it a secret from me?"
I then said to TK a bit nervously as I was put a bit back by TK's tone, "No... uhhh, of course not. I didn't think it would have been important to bring up to begin with... Well... not really... other than Neon said that he knew about the visions that I had... and he said to me that it meant something and stuff like that. So in other words... there's much more to it than just finding the little brother I guess."
I then started to relax my muscles a little bit and looked a little mellow.
I then leaned in forward towards TK and said while pointing at him with my right hoof at him, " Also... there is one more other thing that was in my visions that I had before. Well, it's more like stopped now I should say; if you're interested in hearing about it that is?"
TK then asked me leaned in slightly forward towards me with a sense of interest in his tone of voice, "And what would that be?"
I then told him while raising my left brow and rolling my eyes a bit, thinking of everything to say to him, "Well... I saw the vision of the little brother being taken away from his family. And he was being dragged away by this thing. A guy or a creature or something like that. And everyone was real sad about the brother being taken away. And all I can hear were their pleas to not have him be taken away and to keep him. But it seemed like that wasn't going to be the case and as they all cried their tearful goodbyes to each other, the brother was then taken swiftly away, never to be seen again... I assume to never be seen again that is."
I then started to have a curious look on my face as my eyes rolled up to my head, thinking of the specific circumstances that I had described. I then started to wonder if he really the little brother and not just some hobo from off the street they just really liked. I didn't know, it was visions that kind of came out of nowhere for me. All I could do was guess. However I had other things to say to TK that were o my mind as well about the things that I had saw.
So I looked back towards TK and said while putting my right hoof forward with some slightly wide eyes, "Also Neon told me some things that may or may not have been to fuck with my mind. I swear I can't tell if he knows something or not. and if he does, what does he know? And if he doesn't... well still, what the fuck does he know at all? Aside fro him, nobody else knows except for Wolf who I might have told him while passed out drunk one time. So chances he doesn't remember and even if he did... he would care at all. And now you know mister smarty pants."
I had topped off my end of the talking with a squeakily little smile just to add a little fun into the conversation so late into the night.
TK then made a groaning noise to himself while looking straight forward and he then said, "Interesting. So more is going on here than we knew. It all seems off to me..."
I then asked him with bright sparkly highs as I leaned in forward towards him with a slight snarky smile, "So like what you're saying is that this is some kind of fate or destiny perhaps? Like we're meant to be here for something really big and special and we have a bigger role to play? Because if so... I don't know... that sounds a little dumb to me."
TK then told me while ignoring my gazing eyes of mine and looking straight forward, "No... That's not that at all. It's more like someone or something is watching us. Ever since we got here, everything seemed weird to me. I had sense that something was off. This is just supposed to be a simple universe with simple rules from what you told me. yet ever since we got here, something isn't right. And whoever is watching us wants to do something while keeping an eye on us. Watching our every move while we're in its domain. Or... maybe not... maybe it's all in our heads and there is no one, and that all of this is just how life here works. Either way, I think someone is watching us. I never told you this, but you remember that night when I ordered to wait in the hallway that one night while I took a look around your room?"
I then said to him while I raised an eyebrow and had a curious look towards him, "Yeah... what was that?"
TK then said to me while he kept looking forward still, how rude of him, "There was something in your room that night, watching you. I couldn't reconstruct it in my helmet. It was all distorted, almost as if it knew what I was capable of and was trying to cover its tracks. All I can say it isn't one of these ponies. It's something else. Something bigger than you and I. But I heard it talk. It said it had plans for you. And specifically he wanted to get rid of me. Whatever this thing is, it's not from around here that you or I have seen. It is something more than that I can comprehend. And it could be watching right now as we speak, hiding in front of us. Until I can figure out what this thing is and what it wants from you, watch your back. And if anyone here in this universe seems suspicious to you, keep your distance, and alert me as soon as you can. For we all know, it means to do harm. But for right now, just keep an eyes sharp for anything off. For now, let us only concentrate on the main objective here, as I am sure that will see for ourselves what is to be of our future of this place."
After TK had spoke to me, I just gave him a dead blank stare at him as I said to myself quietly, "Uh... huh..."
I wasn't sure how to take what he had said. It seemed weird that something was watching us just like that. But then again nothing was out of the blue for me either. So I just sort of shrugged it off and tried to remember to keep a look out to see if something weird came into view.
However TK went on to say as he finally looked at me in my direction, "So for now, we only need to focus our minds on finding TF. Right now he is all that matters to me. But if anything gets in my way, and if IT gets in my way, then we'll find out what's really going on here. But for tonight, let's just get what you came here for and head back as soon as possible. The sooner, the better. Especially if it's watching us right now. So let's go over the plans on how to enter the castle. We have done enough talking for the night between the two of us and this train doesn't go on forever unlike The Endless Train myth."
I then sort of blurted out with a slight curious look to my face and asked TK, "Well... what is the endless train myth?"
TK then groaned in annoyance and he told me, "Fine, if it quenches your curiosity real quick. It's a myth that I've been that I have only heard in passing, from universe to universe in vague writing. And each universe describes the myth in similar ways. As far as I can make out of it, the train never ends; it never stops running; and there is no getting off... unless you can get rid of whatever your heart desires the most at the time of boarding the train. But there's n need to be thinking about it. It's just a myth. I only bring it up as an example. "
I then asked him with a little smirk on my face with curiosity hidden within my voice while side nudging him, "And may I ask real quick how does one access this endless train if it were to access?"
TK then said while ignoring my nudging towards him, "I don't know. And I don't care. I'm not looking for it, and neither should you. Now enough with your antics and tell me what we are looking for so far away out here?"
I then looked at him with a slight worried look on my face as he looked back at me with a glare. I was curious and wanted to know more about this myth. But at the same time he had a point and we needed to be moving on in conversation. But to hell with it, we were on a train in the middle of the night. We could whatever the hell we wanted to. That's the magic of trains and the train tracks after all. Almost anything could happen on them. ANYTHING...
So I then said to TK with a slight smile with a bit of hope on my face and asked him, "Soooooo... you're not going to explain the myth to me."
TK just looked at me with a hard stare and sighed as he said to me, "I'm not feeding your curiosity and your clueless mind anymore right now. Just tell me what you dragged me out here for. I need to be back in Hell as soon as possible. I sense the angel Michael is planning on attacking the 5th quarters yet again to draw me out."
I then said to him before getting out my plans while smiling with confidence and winking at him, "Well it shouldn't take too long. And don't worry, soon before you know it, you'll be back in hell fighting those angels of yours. We're here to do that thing that I may or may not should have said it to you earlier before telling to you come with me. Silly, I know... he he he... Like how those two stallions there possibly forgot all about us us... but aside from those ponies over there... we are here to steal some files that might help us out in the future. And when I mean by that, I mean by stealing files for me to use, not for you. I doubt you'd be interested in helping me out with ghosts and other worldly beings... right?"
TK just stared at me as I just out an awkward smile on face while trying to get a laugh out of it However he was not amused as usual. He just gave me a short little grunt at me.
TK then asked me with a bit of an attitude in his voice, "What ghost?"
I then shrugged it off while moving my head back and throwing my left arm towards him loosely, "Pfft... nothing you need to worry about. It's just some Ghost that visited me like a night or two ago and he asked me for my help. And he may or may not be connected to another dimension that may or may not be dangerous and I might just need a little bit more of information on him. See if he says who he is. You know, the simple everyday stuff... he he he he..."
I then tried to give a genuine laugh, but it ended up being a nervous one. But I then started to relax a little bit as soon as I saw TK not go off on me for not telling him. He got that way sometimes toward me . All he did instead was going back to staring into dead space.
TK then said to me with no tension in his voice, "So... is that all? Just ghosts and 'stuff"
I then told him with a worried yet curious look on my face as I leaned a bit forward, "Well... yeah... it's just ghosts and stuff. You're not worried are you?"
TK then responded to me dead on with no tone towards me, "No. No I am not."
I then asked with a raised eyebrow to my face, "Are you sure? It could be dangerous. It could be even scary for me to go all alone and stuff."
TK then just responded quickly to me, "You can handle it. Just let me know if it gets out of hand."
I then said with a dead look on my face, "Ohhh... is that it then?"
TK then said to me with a tone of care, yet not caring in his voice, "Yes it is Knight. I know you want me to say more. I know you want me to say don't worry about the ghosts that may haunt you. Don't worry about the other worlds that exists out there beyond our knowledge and that is a threat to all of us. Don't worry about where this lead to or what connection it might have to other events. And especially don't worry about the nightmares that come from it when you're alone at night, all by yourself in bed; listening to the deafening silence that lies upon in your room; as it creeps up on you waiting to strike in your mind and drive you to the brink of insanity. Don't worry about it, it'll be ok. Is that what you wanted me to say... Knight?"
TK then slowly turned his head towards me, expecting an answer from me. But all I could do was give a little noticeably sounding gulp.
However as my eyes were wide and my back was straight and tall, I told TK with assurance, "Well... yeah... I guess..."
TK then went back to looking forward into dead space again and gave a low groan towards me.
He then said to me, "There are more thing to be afraid of than just ghosts and the unknown. There are the things that haunt us from within that we need to be more wary of. The things that make up who we are and what we think. On this night, do not let it go on like The Endless Train, but instead let it mold you into who you need to be. And no matter what you get in the end, you must be better than it."
I then silently said to me, "Uh... huh...," as I slowly looked away from him and got something from the folder. I merely gave him a slide glance at best.
I then went ahead and grabbed the piece of paper that was inside of the folder that I was holding the other papers at, as it never got up and walked away like how a person would do. It was sitting in between some other papers so I had to shuffle through some of the other paper work in order to get to it. It was a little annoying with some of the papers just sticking together. Annoying little bastards. It was like a small little skeleton hambone sitting on Santa's lap. It just didn't want to leave. But still, the paper never left and got up and grow legs. It was just right there... just waiting for it to be grabbed by me. I'm just saying the piece of paper never walked away and went to Tim Buck Two... or however you say that... or me never mentioning that at all. I never said any of that, It was all in your head.
That's like a Jewish record growing two legs, grabbing its suitcase and leaving because he isn't being played any more... because that's how its like... that I never mentioned before. Anyways, I grabbed the piece of paper that was the blueprints to the castle of Cantorlot, the one that is obviously the only one in the entire city. And I had it... I still feel god about it to this day.
I then raised the paper with my magic and out it close and in front of my face as I had big eyes while staring at TK. TK noticed this and looked towards my direction. I then went and put both of my hooves on the sides of the paper an held it like how a child would hold it.
I then said a bit nervously to TK, "We-well here i-is the blueprint to Cantorlot Castle then. This should help us trying to find a good way in and some spots to find the floor that has the elevator.
I then put the blueprint closer to TK's face so he could see it better if he wanted to as TK then asked me, "So... where did you get this from to begin with? IT doesn't seem like your line of skills."
I then told him as I out the blueprint down while having a smirk on my face, "Oh... I have my ways... "
I was acting like I was sly while looking down at my left hoof, like I didn't care at all. However, TK just stared at me without a single word to me. And I glanced up at him so I started to get a little nervous towards him.
I then started to feel like he was catching on and I then said with a bit of worry, "Ok...so I broke into Cantorlot castle and stole the blueprints from Celestia."
TK still continued to look at me and I started to feel more nervous with him just staring at me.
I then said started to give him the puppy dog eyes while starting to sweat, "Fine.... I asked for it from Celestia?"
TK still stared at me, in which case, I then blurted out while panicking a bit, "I was a good student so she let me have it? Luna was nice to me? Wolf took it sometime in the past when we were at the school? I smooth moved Twilight? I banged Twilight for it? Asked nicely to Twilight for this blueprint? I broke into Twilight's home because she had it? I found it in my trunk? I raped a hobo for it? I magically got it somehow? Magic? Moon crabs? I made the blueprints? Neon?"
I waited to see if TK would take any of those answers, but he did say sometimes I was an idiot... well I said that... but that doesn't matter, because I was being an idiot now that I think about it.
Basically, TK still remained silent about it all and all of my lies, to which I then finally cracked down and told him the truth and said while hanging my head down, "Fine...I got it from the black-market in Stalia. And it was recently stolen from some other source. I don't know, but it has blood on it. Both literally and fugitively."
TK didn't move a muscle and seemed like he didn't want to say anything towards me. Although he seemed to have been surprised that there was such a black market in Stalia. He was just surprised... in his own way. You just couldn't tell most of the time... is all...
However, he then gave a little groan as he then asked me, "And you checked the authenticity of it to make sure it is correct?"
I then told him while looking down and starting to worry bit with a certain look in my eyes and shaking my head, "Well... I don't know much about authenticity."
However I then raised my head at him with a small smile and I said while raising and pointing with my right hoof at him, "To much as my surprise... yes there is... although it's small and well hidden, I was able to get it earlier today. I mean... I was somehow able to get it on a sale too... 50% off for all members...in which case I became a member as well. But I must admit, they're perks for being a member is quite good, I mean you can get a lot of things just for a bit. Just amazing."
TK then told me without hesitation in his voice and dead straight to me, "And you still haven't learned what I taught you all those years ago."
I then told him almost as if I was offended by his statement with slightly annoyed eyes, "What do you mean, of course I 've learned what you taught me. I-I just didn't like what you had to teach me."
TK then explained to me while shooting an angered to look towards my direction, "When I first started to train you back then, you asked me for my help. Despite you creating me, you needed me, somebody who you are not, to be like me, the one who you created, to be like me. And so I tried my hardest with you. To be aware of your surroundings, to look for signs and learn how to survive with the bare bones. And yet you could only do so little of it. And of one the things I taught you back then was not to trust from dark places. Not everything is as it seems. reality starts to set in, and what some might sell to you as a promise will end up as broken expectations. And that includes places like a black market. "
I then slowly realized what he meant by that as I tried to think about it hard.
I then said with wide eyes and a calm down in my voice, "Oh! Well then... I guess I just wasted fifty bits then. There goes me water bill."
I then had a cynical look on my face. Almost as if the world had fooled me and I was simply annoyed by it and wanted to move on. So I used my magic, lifted the blueprint and started ripping it into tiny little pieces. Ad as I tried to demolish it, the tiny little pieces of paper fluttered to the floor of the train, almost as if it was going to be washed away by the wind. But we were on a train... anything could happen though.
I then said to him as son as I was done with an annoyed look on my face as I threw my right arm into the air, "Great... now this only makes this a lot more harder and possibly a waste of time."
TK then said to me somewhere inside his helmet I presume, "Thankfully when I came to find you, I ended up inside the castle. As I was running around the place, I was able to make a recording of it. I didn't go everywhere, but it should be enough to for us to find what you're looking for. And we can already rule out most of the middle interiors since it's likely more for anything else but records."
TK then brought his left forearm to his head... or near his head and pushed something that was on his right forearm and a sort of small holographic screen popped up right in front of his helmet. It was just hovering there... just all casual like in front of those two other ponies that we weren't worrying about at all. And it showed a mostly complete 3D map of the place However some places on the map were left in the dark or uncompleted. But I could get most of the idea. And I couldn't care how TK got to take most of everything but still. It was better than what I had... because it was a fake... or not...
TK then said to me, "Tell me Knight. With all of the time that you were there, is there anything else that you can tell me that would help us in our search?"
I then thought for a moment as I rolled me eyes and put my right hoof to my chin to think about it.
I then started to remember something as I then leaned in a little bit forward and told TK, "Yeah... maybe... or we could just wing it. Although I did hear or overheard this thing from Twilight one time when I was at the school and that the place where we need to go. It's where the room with all the files of pretty much on everything in Equestria is hidden in that room, and to get to that room, I believe we need to get to the seventh floor, if not the twenty first floor because god knows how many floors we might have to get through that castle. I mean I know I've been here like what... five years or so... and I still don't know how big that castle is. But I also heard to get to that room, we have to take an elevator, which is the only elevator that it has... although I would think it would have a secret escape route just in case anything were to happen of course, but possibly only the princesses would know."
TK then said to me, "I can check and see if there is anything hidden on the walls when we get there. Tell me, do you know the highest floor you've been in the castle?"
I then looked confused a bit, but thought about TK's question for awhile until I said, "Well... I think that would be the third floor. I never really got to go that deep into the castle back in school."
TK then said while trying to move the conversation along, "Then that's fine; now here's the plan. When we get to the castle, you try and find your way through the ground or if possible the basement entrance and make your way up to the floor on the elevator. While you take the lower floors, I'll take the higher floors and climb my way to the top. I can scan the halls to see if there is any false walls or hidden passages that could lead to the room we're looking for."
I then asked him, with a bit of worry in my eyes, "But... what if I don't find what floor the elevator is on?"
TK then said to me, "Simple, the guards could have a detailed map and layout of the castle to help them get around the castle at their work station more than likely. While you're down on the ground, keep an eye out for anything that we could use. And if you happen to find what floor the elevator is on and where it's located, then contact me. I'll be able to find you."
TK then pulled out a little headset that would fit snuggly next to my pony ears and was small enough so it wouldn't be seen by anyone, or could be heard by anyone, while I can communicate back into it. It was also something that I used when we had our old adventures together whenever we got lost. All of the old memories were flooding back to my mind when I saw it. I couldn't help but crack a little smile when seeing it again. Granted, sometimes it didn't have the best of range, but it was your best friend whenever you had that small chance into getting into contact with somebody when you are all alone and you have no one else to talk to. Hell, sometime pretending someone is on the other hand help with your sanity at time and kept you together.
Well, I then took it with my hoof, and while my ears were different than a human's ear, it would still work...it just felt a little weird was all. I then placed next to my ear and TK started to do a little test with his helmet.
He said through the mic in his helmet, "Are we set to go?"
I then used my little headset and placed my right hoof on it and said with a smirk upon my face with confidence, "Ready to go whenever you are good old buddy."
We then were good to go on the old headsets and it seemed that we were mostly ready to do what we had to do. I mean sure, it wouldn't be easy. I mean I had what I could usually carry on my satchel that I forget that I had sometimes. And I still do... like right now... And in it, I think I had a gun with some rounds and my fist, or in this case my hooves. That's it. Yeah I was never the prepared one, but at the same time I was never as capable as TK.
TK had taught me to use hand to hand combat and to be low to the ground when necessary with it. I was never that good with it, but good enough to get me out of certain situation. It's hard on my hands, or hooves I guess... but it gets the job done. And if I can, improvise and use that thing to my advantage. But my knowledge is limited. All I know is to hit hard enough that they are either bleeding from their skull and can't get up or they are somehow knocked out. Whichever comes first he said. Then again, shit could go down and make things worse, but that doesn't matter. Chances are, shit is already worse.
Anyways, TK then happened to look behind me and down on my seat and noticed something, "What are all these other documents that you brought along?"
I then had a curious and confused look on my face with an raised eyebrow. Then I looked down by my seat and noticed what he was talking about as well. I had basically brought some other documents along with me and they happened to have somehow accidently slipped out of the folder when I put it down beside me.
I then told him as I used my magic to grab the papers and show it to him; with a bit of eagerness and a small smile, "Oh... well these are other things that I thought would be useful to bring along with us."
I started showing some of the papers off as were just plain ol' documents.
As I was doing so, TK seemed a little annoyed and groaned and asked "And what use could it have for us?"
I then told him with some confidence in my voice, "Well, some of these documents are for history about the castle, how it was built, what it was built with. Then there are what type of guards that are employed there, what skill requirements are needed to be a guard there. I also have the town's sewer system if in case we ever needed it, as well as the map... which I didn't need the black market for as well. I just happened to come across this in the library in my home. It was just sitting there. There's also a map of the school just in case since it's nearby."
TK then told me with a quick tension in the air, "I know the school very well by now."
I then asked him with a side glance and a small smirk at him while pointing my left hoof at him, "You somehow broke into the school when you went looking for me... didn't you?"
He then told me while looking forward again, "I also found your weapons that you hidden within the dorm room's walls. It thankfully helped get out of a tight situation that I was in at the time. And everything was useful there. But aside from that, I won't be needing any of the other information. I am fully capable on my own. And if necessary, I can adapt to what the situation calls for. You should know that by now."
I then asked him while rolling my eyes at him, "Yeah I know but... you never know. You did say you had trouble the last time that you were here and I can tell that you were a little under prepared. Are you sure you don't want to see any of it?"
I then started to hold the papers closer to his face as he remained resilient as he stared forward with a straight back. I then had a little sneaky smile while pointing my right hoof to the papers, trying to tease him and get him to break and use it.
He then turned to me and told me however to my dismay as he got close to me is a devilish manner, "I was holding back then. I was trying not to kill everyone that I saw here. It would have been a waste of time and simply not in our best interest to set everything on fire wherever we walk as long as we remain here in this universe. But rest assured, if it was up to me, I could have easily burned everything to the ground within minutes and let everything out. It's not that I couldn't handle a couple of cartoon kids ponies. They are nothing but a little toothpick to me. It was me trying to best limit the carnage left by me and as little as possible. And if you were not here to begin with, then everything would be dead. The bodies would be burning. The skies red with anger. The air filled with a stench of a disease. And the hearts of many would be on fire. And everything destroyed and turned into ashes. And this kiddie show that you chose to live in, it's nothing compared to what you have made me into."
I then said with a slight irked look on my face, "Hey... it might be a kid's show... but this universe is different from the show that I've seen."
He then asked me as he backed off a bit, "And do you care to explain how tis place is different then?"
I then told him while I rolled my eyes and put my left hoof to my chin and thought about it, "Well, for one thing alcohol is sold here, I'm sure in the show that would never happen. Second, curse words are used from time to time and in a heavy way. Third... well... not everything is a happy place at all."
I then looked straight forward with a mellowed look in my eyes and said to TK while pointing at him wit my right hoof, "And I'm pretty sure the geography doesn't match up either. It seems... a little off? Don't you think?"
TK then told me while he looked back straight forward again and with a calm tone, "I've not one hundred percent sure if you are correct. But then again only you would know about this place. But you did mention to me this was an Official Universe when you showed it to me years ago."
I then told him with a wide look in my eyes as I was trying to think, "Yeah... it is... but... it is for sure different from the show. Yet I can't quite put my finger on the whole matter. It just seems all so off to me, especially the kinds of ponies that live here. They seem somewhat weak, yet not at the same time."
He then asked me as he looked back at me, "How so?"
I then explained to him while looking a little confused, "Well... it's just what I've seen thus far. I mean I don't exactly recall there being a town across the Everfree from Ponyville. And I don't recall some ponies being assholes, at least more than usual. But that part doesn't matter right now. We're almost to the city and looks like we've got some time to spare. So uhhh... got anything new going on in your little devil universe?"
TK then told me as I had a little nervous smile on my face, trying to keep the silence away from filling the air, "Nothing is happening there... nor does it concern you of anything that you need to worry about. All I do is what I am supposed to do, which you made happen in your mind. All you did was made me a human that then became the evil. And my role is to be that new devil. And so I embrace it every second of everyday. Constantly fighting God and his angels that he sends out to be slaughtered by my hands. All the while the angel Michael has a grudge against me and wants me slain while Gabriel wants to backstab him and make a deal with me to out do him. And the irony is they never realize you're the real god of that universe."
I just sat there on my little pony ass, staring at TK from the side, almost in amazement and wonder to what he was saying, eve though on the inside I was getting a tiny bit of chills.
TK continued to say on as his voice gradually gain a bit of intensity in it, "But when the angels are not on my doorstep... I just sit in my throne as the king of Hell, looking over the land that I rule of the underworld, with demons guarding me, remaining loyal to every word and command that I give them. All the while I have an army of the damned at my disposal whenever I want to wreck havoc. All the while, I just sit and wait, waiting for the end to come. Either the universe itself or my end, I simply wait for something to happen. Either Factory Dash comes looking for me, you have something to bother me with, or when the angels come looking for someone to blame for their problems; I just wait for it all to happen. It's just the way you made it to be when you made me and my little back story that you did."
TK was then looking a little too closely to me when he was talking to me. As he was, I was taken aback just a bit by his words as I started to fee my pony skin sweat a little bit and started to feel a little tense in my muscles.
I then asked him, while being in a position that would make me seem interested in what he's talking about; all the while trying to put on a fake smile of sorts, "Well, uhhhh... that sound like a lot. It sound like you have a great life that I have given you And for... you are.. welcome. But here's a better idea. What if you, Factory Dash, and I were to maybe get together like how we used to and do something? You know like maybe we travel the universes, maybe fine a few cities somewhere in another universe and just go on an adventure of sorts. Nothing too random, just maybe explore and see what we can find. OR we could try and hang out together. I know we never really got to connect as butt buddies together, but you know.. it's never too late... he he?"
I had put on a fake nervous laugh at the end along with a nervous smile as well to fit the disguise on my face. TK didn't sound too friendly when he was describing his life to me. But to his credit, I did give him that life. And it was probably when I was goofing off in the bathroom during the old school days back on Earth when you know.. I used to have a "life" back then. So I was trying to play it all cool like, and not give him a chance to rip me to shreds. I know he wouldn't hurt me, but sometimes I question that loyalty of his with his devil nature inside him.
However TK didn't seem to be bothered by my awkwardness and then said to me, "I know what you're trying to get at Knight."
I then said with a curious yet wonder filled look in my eyes as he turned to look forward again, "You do?"
TK then said as he remained still and kept looking forward again, "Yes I do. You're miss Lawman. I know you had made fond memories of him in the past and you wish to have those memories back. But he is gone. And so now you think me and Factory Dash can fill that void the best it can despite him not being here. But he's never coming back. Things change Knight. I have other responsibilities to attend to. The responsibilities that you gave me. And Factory Dash rather come when she is ready to join us on her own terms."
While it wasn't what I was thinking, he did hit a hard spot in my heart when saying that.
So I said in response to TK while hanging my head down in somber while looking at him, "Oh... "
TK then said to me that made me perk my head and pony ears up, "But don't worry Knight. I'll be here when you need me. I know you will need me at some point. And while I won't be here forever and not at every second of every hour; I will do what I can. I still owe you for creating me and giving me life. So I will be there when I can. Just don't count on Factory Dash joining every time though. She doesn't owe us nothing and she is on her own. You may have fond memories of her too, but she I remind you that she doesn't care for you. She is only interested in me when decides to join us. But if she ever does ever decides to join us, she'll be there too. And you won't have to be so alone Knight."
TK looked at me after saying his piece. He didn't have to say a single word afterwards. I got the picture that while TK isn't that fun of a guy to be with, he knows what I am sort of looking for deep down. I guess anyways. I couldn't exactly tell how TK was reading me, especially since I cold never se his eyes; let alone see into his thoughts with this portal thingy right now. TK then went back to looking forward and while being on the subject of Factory Dash, I ended up having a small grin on my face.
I then said while moving in a slight sly way with my right hoof and head, "Well I appreciate that you care so much about me TK. I really do. It's just that last time I checked, Factory Dash doesn't seem to want to be bothered with my problems. But I think maybe with a little persuasion, I can maybe change her mind perhaps?"
TK then shot me down faster than a bi-plane as he said to me," No. You cannot do that. Factory Dash has a great disdain for you. Remember, she has only taking a liking to me. That was how we even got her in the first place. At any time, she could even become rogue and we would need to put her down. But chances are, it wouldn't come to that. She has seen us as allies more and more over time. But it doesn't mean she cares for you at all. I've spent more than with her than you have. She has mentioned to me if she could, she would gut you right where you stand. And that she would gouge out your eyeballs with a very big and long dull knife. She would then proceed to pull your asshole inside out and cut off all your limbs while shoving your dicks and balls in your prolapsed anus. From there she would cut off your tongue, feed it to a bull dog setting you ablaze while scalping you. And if somehow you were to survive all of that. She would then hang you upside down and starting cutting you in half from the bottom up. Leaving you to experience every pain as possible before getting to your brain in hopes you will still be conscious enough to see her rip out your heart and take a bite out of it. In some aspects, it's impossible for that to happen. But according to her, not in her universe.”
TK ten gave me a slow side glance, looking over towards my direction looking to see what I had to say. But I didn't have anything to say at all. I just was shocked. I knew she didn't like me, but I didn't know she hated me that much. Instead, I had wide eyes, my pony ears flattened backwards, and was slowly cowering in fear just to the thought of Factory Dash doing that to me. It sounds like a weird fetish that someone would have also. I don't know... someone probably can get off to that I'd bet. And probably have an epic orgasm too by doing it. But I digress. I didn't have anything to say to him so I gave the best response I could to TK.
I said to TK while rubbing the back of my head with my right hoof and look away and trying to act like what he had just wasn't freaky, "Yeah... that sounds... great... "
TK then just stared at me, almost awkwardly and then after a couple of seconds, he then asked me, "Since you have asked me about my life that was none of your business; what about you? How are holding up here in your "new home?"
I then turned my attention towards TK and thought about my answer for a while as I just stared at him wide eyed. I mean… he knew about that other stuff… but I suppose he didn’t know about every other minor detail of what I have done. I mean he knows about the predator problem… or used to anyways… which I have not forgotten about at all. It was such an important POINT in my history after all, and TK knew the PLOT to it all. But at the same time, I didn't expect for TK to ask. I mean at all. He seemed to open up a little bit towards me and asked a casual question like that. It kind of wasn't like him. Than again he probably was just looking for information. Knowledge. And Knowledge is half the battle as they say. While the other half is committing all the war crimes like a skeleton hambone in a wheelchair... specifically in Vietnam. Wanna hear a joke? Where is the best place to get rice? Vietnam after the napalm strikes are finished... I had to write it down. It was too funny. If I could only see the look on your faces while writing this down, I'd bet it be $1 and not priceless...
Well, I had put some thought into it all into my answer. I had to respond back to him with something, even if it had caught me off guard in my own mind.
So after a quick few seconds and giving him a wide eyed stare at him, I then said to TK, “Well, nothing much. Nothing much has been going on at all. Just.. the usual pony stuff that I've been doing."
TK just stared back into me, almost as if he was looking directly into my soul and judging me. He could tell that just wasn't all that I had to say to him. But he didn't throw a fit or anything. He was calm and kept his cool. He knew me and I knew him.
So he simply stared into my eyes through his dark helmet and said to me with his calm, gruffy voice of his, "I know that isn't all that you do."
I then calmed down myself and looked at him normally again while rolling my eyes at him. I started to rub the back of my pony neck with my left hoof and looked a tad bit worried while doing it in a nervous way.
I said to TK while looking away from him and calmly admitting to him, "Well a lot has gone on. He... But nothing really that you would need to know for anything at all. I've just been dealing with whatever the universe throws my way and try to have a good time with Wolf whenever I can and... that's about it. And aside from that there are my friends. Well, at least according to Celestia they are supposed to be my friends but they annoy me sometimes. They are just to repeat the past and nothing else as far as I can tell."
I started to look back at TK in the eyes again as he then said to me, “I know about those friends. I know who they are and what they do. I've been keeping tabs on them ever since I first saw them with you. But even if you don't like them right now, embrace the moment. That peace that you said you were looking for? This might be the only peace that you'll ever get until the times comes for you to go away. So if I was you in your position, I'd embrace the moment. Embrace while it still lasts. Appreciate the things around you before they are gone. You may not like them, but for the time being you need them. And from what I can tell, they need you too. To be whole again. And if the time is ever close to where I am gone forever, you'll need them more than you will right now. Learn to work with them. And learn to stick together.”
I then slightly looked away from TK in disagreement as I softly said to me, "But it doesn't feel that way though. How could we, it doesn't like we could ever stick together. We're too different. And I just want to be at peace is all."
TK then stared at me even though I was looking away from him as I was tipping my hat downwards, "It doesn't matter. For me, you made me where I don't need anyone else aside from Lawman. And while at times I might need Factory Dash; my apprentice at my side, I am for the most a loner. I have a hard time trusting others and rather stand my own than to stand with others. It's how you made me think. But you are different. You are not me otherwise you wouldn't have created me. Your path is different than mine. And for you, I foresee you'll need my help in the future. And that will always not be. But these friends of yours, they are your new start to life here. If you're going to live here in this universe and start anew, you're going to need to learn to live with it. Learn their language. Learn their land. Learn their ways of seeing and hearing. And right now, you're lucky. You have some who are willing to help you, even if they don't exactly look the part. They are your friends now Knight. Learn to be theirs. One day; many years from now or even tomorrow, you'll be on your own. I won't be there and you'll have to learn to be without friends."
I started to get antsy the more TK talk a little bit. I started to feel like I was going to get angry. So to quickly cool off my my thoughts, I turned around and looking him in the eyes once more.
I then said to TK with an annoyed look in my eyes while kind of interrupting him sort of speak, "Well that's fine. I was planning on being on my own here to begin with. All I was goin to do was just find my own way here; maybe get a nice little place in Ponyville and live life there in peace. Be in a place where only so many dreamed of being to begin with my back on Earth. So why does any of that matter to begin with? I'm even butt buddies with the princesses. I'll be fine. This place won't kill me... I think..."
I rolled my eyes in curiosity a bit at the end, wondering if this place will or not. But TK continued to say his piece towards me.
He said to me while getting a little bit closer to my face as I looked back at him, "The universes are a dangerous place. You ran away from your own to join another that you have no idea how the reality here works. Each one is different. You and I both know that. At some point after you keep throwing shit at all, you'll eventually going to get yourself in a situation that'll get you killed. My advice to you Knight, don't push them away. It will only hurt you in the end. Now, is there anything else that you would care to share with my about your new home?"
I leaned back a little bit, while retaining an annoyed look in my eyes. I knew what hew as getting at. He wanted me to make butt buddies with the other guys. All I had was a huff and puff towards that idea. I simply out my right hoof on my chin and just cooled a down a little bit in my head as my thoughts were going all over the place. I didn't want to be butt buddies with them I had thought in my head. They weren't my type per say. They were crazier than me. And I didn't really care for being around them too much unless I had to by the universe. He was starting to sound like Celestia in my head the more I thought about it. But to be fair, I didn't have a choice but to be with them. So I had to roughly be forced to be with those guys. Didn't mean I like it though at time.
But I moved on in my own mind and started to look forward instead. I also had thought about TK's little question at the end there as well.
I then thought about it for a bit and looked and said to TK humbly, “No… not really that’s important as of right now. I mean… there’s always something new going on with Neon… but I wouldn’t waste your time on him since even I can’t figure out anything about him.”
I started to have a small smile form on my face again and thought about how silly Neon is sometimes and how random he could be. And the thought TK trying to figure anything about him was a bit funny in my head.
But TK then ruined that little moment for me as he said bluntly, “I wouldn’t expect you figure Neon out either... ”
I then realized what he had said and I then said, “Wait… what?”
Soon, we felt the force of the train stop, as we heard a screeching noise form the train tracks. We then looked out the window and we saw out the window that nothing was moving anymore.
Then we heard the whistle of the train blow into the dead of night and a loud male voice coming from within the train. It was from the intercom on the train itself and an automated voice then said “This is Cantorlot! You may all get off now and watch your step! Thank you for riding the Equestria Express!”
It was weird. I never recalled an automated intercom voice. But then again years had passed since Season 4 so I assumed thing change the owners of the train wanted to be some cheap sons of bitches. Not say the entire train was automated, I did see a conductor somewhere I think before boarding the train. But it was weird. Also… when he said something about the train’s name… I was a bit shocked at the time that was the name.
Then again, all I could ever think of the name for the train in the show was the Friendship Express, since… all of the Bronies there and the men in suits at Hasbro basically made that name and sold it in every toy they possibly could to milk. Especially from every parents wallet who had a small child that was either had problems or was a diva child. Whatever that means of course, but that isn’t the point, I wasn’t expecting the name ‘Equestria Express’ for the name of the train. And combined with the intercom, it was different. But hey, maybe there was one more than one train. Or the Friendship Express was exclusive to Ponyville and Stalia got the shitty B Version of it.
Anyways, the doors opened up and both TK and I got up from our seats and on to our pony legs on all fours. Of course, there was no one else besides us and those two fine looking gentlecolts on the train… you know… the one that looked like a drug addict and would make a snuff film for the Deep Web and making threatening gestures towards an old stallion who looks like he was a Holocaust survivor. He didn't have a long nose though; didn't have a measuring tape to make sure. So he could have been half Jew for all I knew.
Yeah… those two weird, shifty looking ponies that you could trust with your life… because of… reason and logic combining together to make a super massive bomb of hatred and bullshit that can only be explained through the songs of something that is creepy.
Well, once we got up from our seats and headed out the door and was outside on the platform, we stopped in our tracks. We turned around and saw that the young stallion got up as well, but not for us, but for the old stallion. He stood up and pretty much stood in a position to where the old stallion could not get up from his seat as he would be blocked from his path to escape the young stallion.
The young stallion looked at him in a very rude, mean like state and his eyes for the most part said he was going to do something bad. Well, the young stallion was giving the old stallion the stink eyes, while rubbing his nose a little with his left hoof like a crack cocaine addict, meaning he most likely was a drug addict of course.
The young stallion then all of a sudden grabbed out a little pony knife and blurted out, “Ok old colt… I’m tired of playing games with you. Give me all you’ve got or else I’ll fucking cut you up and start feeding you to a pile of rats in my rusty bathroom. That’s right old stallion, I-I have the balls to do that… and you know what else… no one would ever fucking ever miss you, because you an old piece of shit! And that’s what you’ll will always ever be… so fucking fork up what you’ve got or else you’re going to get it! Come on you bag of shit, hurry up! Let's go! I'm the rebel to society! And society is never going to get me! NOW FUCKING FUCK ME OLD BAG FULL OF FUCKING FARTS! FUCK ME IN THE ASS AND GIVE YOUR FUCKING MONEY YOU OLD BALLS!”
Of course from the way he was speaking... he didn't get too much of an education, but you do have to give points for trying though at least. He also seemed to have had some kind of weird fetish. OR maybe that that was code for more drugs. You know, the ol' slang that he kids use these days. Or maybe he was just until DILFs; hey I don't judge your fetish unless otherwise. I once knew a teacher who was into bondage... and owned a boat... I don't know went on that boat, but I bet you went there if you got an F. Anyways, I then looked at TK and we just continued to walk through the door… until we got outside that is.
TK then said to me with a sense of tension in the air around him, “Wait here for a moment.”
When he said that, the young stallion was already beating up the old stallion to a bloody pulp with his right hoof and holding him up with his left. He was on his pony knees, gritting his teeth and quickly taking action to get whatever he can from the old stallion. And the old stallion couldn't really do much as he refused to give into the demands of the young, drug addict stallion. TK then soon disappeared into a hellish descent and reappeared inside the train, right behind the stallion that was hurting the old pony and beating him to a bloody pulp.
All the while I stood outside under the full stars of Luna's night sky. I then tried to distract myself from what I knew was going to happen next. So I looked at he night sky and whistled to myself a innocent little tune of some kind. I then had a fake little smile thrown on for effect and just looked up.
I even said quietly to myself, "Ooo, look at that star. It's certainly right out tonight."
Meanwhile TK was silent and everything like that. And if you people really need a some sort of description and cannot imagine of being quiet means in your head… well… he was quiet like Santa Claus coming into your house Christmas Eve night; putting all the presents quietly under the tree and taking all the mice that are starving in your walls.
Then, he takes all the mice into his toy factory, gives it to the elves, and tells them to make a snuff film out of it and start making profit by showing it and charging for it over the Deep Web. And that is by either taking out the mice’s eyes out or by raping them in the asshole or in the mouth… And then… right before they have the grand finale and kill off the mice, they will puke rainbows while a baby cloud rolls over their head… and starts to jack off on to their head and then the cloud police comes in, takes the cloud that was masturbating in public to cloud jail… and the mice dies off… the end.
Yeah… that’s a perfect analogy isn’t it? I mean it had rainbows and a cloud… so clearly that makes everything ok… along with Santa and magical elves in it that also run a drug business because making toys doesn’t cut it any longer due to the economy.
But you could always blame Obama… even if he is no longer president any more, you can always blame him like a cat fucking a red ball because he did something bad and everyone blames it and it soon turns into a very poorly made, but yet highly successful comedy show called ‘Everyone blames that cat that fucks a red rubber ball because he did something bad show.’
Yup… and surely the humans back on Earth would watch that show just like every sitcom that was ever made… because it is somehow funny to them along with it being entertaining like every other cop show that’s the same thing. Just make a reference to something you'll have them all laughing their guts out. Sometimes literally. But whatever, it’s the year…whatever. The year of our lord I guess, and I wouldn’t know what’s on anymore… but it does suck… I’m sure. Anyways, TK snuck up behind the young stallion and soon he didn’t say a single word to him at all.
He soon stood up on his two hind legs… or whatever you want to call them… I’m not the one jerking off to pony porn every day here, and soon takes his two free hoofs and grabs him on both sides. The young crack head soon was interrupted very surprisingly and looked both sides of him, as he had wide eyes and was starting to get scared as to who had him and what would happen next. Soon, he saw a bit of a red darkness fill a little bit around him and the train car itself… and soon TK turned him around to face him, so he could get a good look into his eyes… into his soul… and soon, the young addict was stricken with fear into his eyes.
He started to scream bloody murder, but no one heard him, and no one cared because it was in the dead of night. There was no one else on board the train and the conductor was somewhere far off. Probably on a smoke break even so it would have been even further away. He could have screamed as loud as he could, but no one would be there to help him. Not even the old man could do anything because he was basically on the brink of death at that point due to the continuous beatings he was receiving from the young stallion. Soon, the young stallion knew it was all over for him, that he couldn’t escape the grasp of TK. His train ended here. And this was his final stop. And it's one way only.
He knew his life was about to end and soon realized all the mistakes that he did within his own past of crime and regret. Soon, after the young stallion realized what was happening and what might happen next that he had a gut feeling about, TK started to turn into a monster… the devil that he was.
Soon, the young stallion looked in fear as he was seeing that he was soon going to face death, however, his last words to TK right before TK took his soul, “What are you!?”
TK then responded, “None of your business.”
TK then took his two hooves and put them on the edge of the stallion’s mouth… the young one if you couldn’t tell at this point, and used his force and strength and broke the jaw open… or like unhinge the jaw or something like that.
Like that one scene with the remake of King Kong and he unhinged that one T-rex’s jaw… something like that… I know I just ruined the mood, but you know there’s going to be people who always complain… complain about the description of the details… and now I have them an example or an example to look up… so they can stop bitching about it not being clear to them. Go look it up. Better yet, go on some scuffy, deep web website and loo up something even more gruesome than that. It'll probably do it for you.
Sorry, but flying on a phoenix and writing my life story out, which I have to keep pointing out before more complain, isn’t easy. Sure, why not do it somewhere else then? Well….I mean…you don’t know who I am don’t you? You also surely don’t know how I think and what I do and such and what my life is, but you clearly know what’s good for me…just like every parent book about parenting and ‘specialists’ that tell new parents what to do with their kids despite not knowing that their kids are even like.
Anyways, TK did unhinged that young stallion’s jaw and then stuck his right hoof inside the throat of the stallion and soon took out an orb of light…which was his soul.
He then, in a monster, devil type style of look, TK devoured the souls and swallowed it whole all in one gulp. Soon, the red darkness slowly disappeared as a very dead body of a young crack addict was dropped to the ground and an old stallion was on the ground, on the brink of death, trying to grip on to his dear old life that he didn’t really have much to live for anyways.
TK saw him and soon looked down on the old stallion. The old stallion tried to look up at TK as well, as best he could as he was severely damaged.
TK then said to him, as he looked deep into his eyes, "Just let it go and die."
And the old stallion lost all control and soon let his head fall down to the ground and slowly closed his yes...as he died and went to somewhere...that may or may not be a better place like Banana Heaven or something.
Soon, TK walked out and back towards me and I had seen all of that. And my reaction was just an ok face, as I knew that would eventually happen to the young stallion…or otherwise I would have done something else. But TK wanted to let his food, which was souls, have their little fun before he killed them. But this wasn’t all new to me and I just didn’t really care.
TK walked out and I had asked him, “You really needed to eat that soul didn’t you?”
He then said to me, “You know I had to do so, he deserved it. Not only that, I do need souls every now and then to keep up my strength…you should know that very well by now since you made me this way after all. And besides…he was annoying. Shall we be on our way now?”
I then gave a little smile and silently nodded my head towards him. And then…we walked into Luna’s night with the mist still in Cantorlot towards the castle. So I suppose the mist that was on the ground that was see through was pretty much all over Equestria.
I mean, it’s not like that there’s a weatherman or weather pony in Equestria, so I wouldn’t know what the weather of the entire country of Equestria was that night. But yeah, Cantorlot had the same amount of fog that was on the ground that night. Well, TK and I walked away from the scene that he had made with the young stallion, who will be dearly missed since he seemed like a nice stallion to become friends with…and the old stallion who may or may not have died.
And yes, I know I said the old stallion died...but did he really die? he might have just experienced a near-death experience...and I really don't know either way...and I really don't care.
Honestly, I never heard in the papers about the dead bodies that were found on the train. For all I know, a magical talking battery teleported them into another world filled with rape and grapes….as in the grapes rape you…because they rhyme. And grapes do anything that rhymes with themselves…but it makes perfect sense in my head since there was most likely an alternate universe that did happen like that…but there is also most likely an alternate universe where a Muslim beer can blew them up…or the state of Arkansas went to them, begging to actually acknowledge their welcome center and talk to them other than being there for the bathroom like everyone else does…or eating the holy Twinkie…which is one of god’s favorite creations of all time…not man…not the animals…but the holy Twinkie…for it has….holy crème inside its bountiful yellow sponge cake…with the word goodliness written into the Twinkie, because it is a word…and no one cares about it.
That or possibly the Santa Claus that makes his job being the cartel instead of making toys kidnaps them to sell their organs on the black market so he can make a little extra cash on the side. To me that’s kind of funny that would happen…because chances are it already did…years ago…in some sort of alternate universe that I may or may not know where it is…ok I know where it is.
But aside from that, TK and I walked the streets and they were dead. Not a single pony could be found walking the streets despite having the street lights on to guide a pony’s path through the darkness that they desire to walk through…because how else are you going to get from point A to point B in the middle of the night? Mines? I don’t think so…at least not in Cantorlot that is.
Anyways, there was no pony on the street that night, for all were tired and wanted to rest…except for the fancy, snob pony Mr. Jingles who roams the street every night, keeping his nose as high as he can get it to be and always has a glass of wine in his left hoof. In fact, in the middle of our not-so-interesting walk towards the castle, we found Mr. Jingles and while there wasn’t anything to describe him other than the typical suit, monocle, and black top hat, he was the average snob pony. Except he was special…because everyone on the seventh night of the seventh month of the third week…his nose will grow very long and he will even be more snobbier and pretty much become the richest pony in town because he had a long nose that he could stick up into the sky.
That or you can be rich by owning a lot of pillows…but that’s a story for another day when we get to that specific story whenever…it might be soon actually.
In fact…they might be the next part that I tell about my life…but anyways, when we came across good old Mr. Jingles, he looked at us and said in his typical snobby accent, “I see two non-fancy ponies in my sight…well then…you look like illiterate fools, so I shall not waste my time spending with someone who doesn’t look anything to be proper or traditional and what not…so I shall turn my back on you and hope you two have a very not-so-great evening…as I stick up my nose as I as I high can into the air…but thankfully for you two…it is not the day when I have my very long nose…so you two shall be spared from the shame of my high and long nose…so…on the count of three I shall turn my back towards you two. One. Two. Three.”
Then he quickly turned his back towards us and ignored us for the rest of the night.
And so, I looked to TK and I asked him, “Can you please take is soul too…he’s been annoyance to me along with everyone else that isn’t rich since I first came here. I mean I know it may sound wrong of me to ask of you to do that…but I want him to die right now….and want him to burn as well…so can you do it?”
TK then said to me, “I will not, for I have not found anything he did wrong…he only has done morally wrong. And besides, I’ll kill him anyways if he does get on my nerves.”
So with that said, we stayed quiet and continued our walk towards the castle of Cantorlot. On the rest of the way there…it wasn’t much to say. I mean I’m sure there will be complaints about the details and asking me what the buildings were like, what kind of piss it was on the walls, were their rats?
But let me assure you…that night wasn’t an interesting night…and so all that complain…I’m guessing they are the worst thing that I would have ever encountered…I call these types of people…The Iggies…what kind of people are they you might ask despite you may or may not being an Iggy. Well…I think I explained what they were…I mean read back if you want…but these are the worst kind of people to ever meet…ever…and I just get the chills down my spine just writing that word out. Anyways, we eventually made it to the castle grounds with the front entrance being locked and guards standing outside it.
Also, I’m a bit surprised that Luna wasn’t outside, watching us and see what we were doing. But she was most likely in someone dreams…possibly in a sexy pink nurse uniform and doing it with Cadence that is also in a sexy nurse uniform that was white while having a threesome with Night Light.
Or is that something else I’m thinking about? Possibly is…but who cares…she was in people’s dreams as that was her job to being a Princess of the Night. And of the moon…Equestria…dreams…you name it. But whatever she was doing, she didn’t catch us doing what we were doing at all. I mean we would be jailed and possibly executed for doing what we were doing and such.
I mean Twilight, Celestia, and Luna would also be ashamed of me and possibly hate me as well of making sure my soul ends up in Purgatory and stuff. But then again that wouldn’t happen and what would most likely happen is that TK would kill every guard, kill all three princesses…and if he would have to, kill god of this universe…which would be Fausticorn and he might be another god then. Which would make him two gods then…or maybe not.
Who knows…maybe he would give the god like ability and powers to me instead. But then again it might not be that easy, but then again…who knows right? Although now that I think of that scenario, that does sound like an interesting universe to see about. I mean all of us would be gods or kings…and queen if you count Factory Dash.
Factory Dash would be queen of the Rainbow Factory. TK would be the king of Hell…in his universe. And I…would be the king of Heaven. So when you look at that in layers…that would mean TK is at the bottom, Factory Dash in the middle…and me at top. That would actually make a good ending to my life story if that was the case…but it isn’t though. But then again…it’s only interesting, so it’s not anything special.
Hell, I can find more things interesting in the book about rocks and turtles…and how they fuck each other in the butt. Yup…them turtles like taking it up the butt with butter.
Oh well, we were at the castle, but the guards didn’t see us, for when we got close, we kept close to the ground and walked quietly and hid behind some bushes.
As soon when TK was sure that no other guard was up and about, or close to our position, he then turned to me and told me quietly, “Alright then Knight. Here’s the plan, you go and sneak through the gardens. Try your best to stay outside as much as you can and do not leave any signs of your presence there as well. Now, if I had to guess, there should be some sort of basement to this castle, as one would think that is. If not, just try and sneak through a back door that you can find or through a window, but make sure you’re quiet. Now I’m assuming you have your gear in your satchel, along with the techniques I have shown you throughout the years. Use that to your advantage and take out any guards that you see that need to be taken down. But make sure you hide the bodies in a dark area and also make sure you take out all the guards in that specific area, as I am sure they will find the guards missing and will be alerted to search for someone like you who is doing the acts.
'Now once you through the first floor, make your way to the front, there might be a guard station there and you may end up likely finding a map. However, if you do not, keep searching or wait until I have found the floor in which the elevator is on, but if you do so, make sure you’re in a secure area where you are out of sight. If you do not, you will be at risk at being caught. For me, I’ll be heading to the eleventh floor, that might be a good start to search for the elevator. Also, remember to not kill anyone at all, for if you do, investigations will be made, but there will be investigations no matter what we do, but it all matters on how extensive and heavy the investigations are when they are carried out. They might end up finding it was you and they will come after you if you did end up killing someone. So make sure you only knock them out cold or else things will get worse. So…you got it all in your head?”
I then said to him, “Sure, but I’m guessing you’re going to climb the walls and not go inside to take stairs when you go up, will you?”
TK then said to me, “Exactly…it would be too risky to go inside. The same goes for you if I find the floor where the elevator is on, climb instead of taking the stairs. And if you can climb your way up, let me know I’ll come and get you, just tell me the exact location you are at and such. So, are you ready Knight?”
I then said to him, “Ready when you are TK.”
He then gave a nod to me and we headed our spate ways. TK headed to the right and into the dark and narrow alley ways so the guards wouldn’t see him going around the castle and become suspicious of him, especially since he was wearing his suit and such. With me, I headed towards the left and also into a dark alleyway to get around to the back because most likely I would find the gardens that was since the gardens were in the back.
Knight:
I headed down the dark alley way, just like I said. It was dark, for the most part that is. It still had some sort of light, as in the night sky along with near the top of the buildings had some light poles. Night, really, but it’s hard to explain.
Not only to mention that the light poles that lit up the street at night also gave off some light in the ally way. Now it wasn’t tight, nor dirty. This was Cantorlot after all. So it was neatly made and cleaned every once in a while. There were some water puddles a little bit, but nothing really big or something like that. Well, the ally way wasn’t too long, so I was able to quietly jog through it at a decent pace in a few seconds.
I made it to the other end, to which I had a choice of going left or right. I went right and at the end of the building that was shielding me from the guard’s vision, I found a little ramp that went into the gardens that wasn’t being guarded. Now, it didn’t have a metal gate or anything, it was just an unprotected entrance ramp into the gardens. Now…why it was like that…I have no clue.
It was just being unprotected is all. Or perhaps it was at one point and some guard had to go jack off and was being stuck in the bathroom, trying to jerk off to Luna or something like that. As if he had some sort of problems and after he ejaculated, he would have the cum in his mouth and slowly eat like in a sexy way…because he was lonely…and he found that to be hot to himself…so he would ejaculate again…this time spreading his own cum all over his face…because he has a lot of problems. That’s most likely what happened to the guard that was most likely protecting the entrance ramp and everything like that.
In fact, I’m possibly right as well…I mean I’m sure these guards aren’t just working their duty to just get paid or feel like they need to protect the royal sisters…I’m sure at least some of them need to have some dirty thoughts and want to get real close to the sisters…and fantasies about fucking them…but jacking off to their asses and cumming all over their butt cheeks too. And you know what…they possibly write fiction about that too and jack off to their own porn as well…in their parent’s basement or something.
Or a basement that they are renting in a poor Chinese restaurant owner. It makes perfect sense to me and stuff. But then again…it could just be an unguarded entrance and the guards are just slacking off instead of doing what they were paid to do. But you know…my theory still stands as possible…just like my theory of a possibly, living, giant, talking penny that rolls around the Earth and kills people universe…yup…that surely exist in some sort of universe…whether with ponies or humans, it just exists…and no one does anything about that giant penny that talks and kills people…with gas from its…mouth. Anyways, I quietly snuck towards the ramp entrance, while making sure no pony even saw me walking over to the entrance.
I made it to the entrance and quietly walked down…of course…because what else would I do? Run it? Because that would just give my position away…but you know…some people have problems not knowing certain obvious things in life…but it’s ok…it just makes them special in life…and those who aren’t special….are supposed to make sure the special people are safe and sound and make sure they do not play with matches…and tell them all the specifics…it’s ok if you’re one of them…one day…it’ll all pass and you might actually be normal…to say if you’re one of those special people that is. Anyways, I walked down the ramp and eventually reached the flat surface of the ground. It was still concrete and not the grass yet, but I was somewhat in a ditch of some kind, but ahead of me was a ramp that led into the gardens.
So, I headed for the ramp, but before I made a right turn, which was towards the castle, I made sure to look both ways to make sure no guard was near. Well, I checked and there was no guards around to be seen or heard. So I swiftly jogged towards the castle, and while I was jogging, I was looking both sides of me, trying to make sure there was no guards around. There wasn’t, but there was guards for sure as far as I could tell that were in the gardens. Well, I headed towards the castle and straight ahead of me was stone staircase that led to a single door that led to the basement.
Well, I made sure I didn’t make any noise whatsoever with every step I took once I made it to the staircase. There was a light when you reached the bottom of the staircase, so any guard who was coming up from the basement or from the garden could have some sort of light. It was because the staircase was going pretty much burrowing into the ground at a slant or a diagonal way.
So after I made it down, I went to reach the handle as quiet as I could, and when I went to turn the handle to open the door…it was locked. So that must have meant that one of the guards had the key, well it was a guess that is, so I had to wing it and take every guard out in the garden.
Well, that night, there was three guards in the garden. One in the right, one in the left, with one standing near a fountain and a statue of some ugly beast that was turned to stone near an archway of leaves that connected to the two bushes beside it, was a guard standing by it all. He wasn’t looking towards my direction, in fact he looked a little sleepy.
So, I tip-toed…well tip hoofed that is, towards the guards. When I got close to him, he looked like he was ready to collapse and it seemed to me that he wanted to be put out of his duty for being a guard out of the castle so he could rest. Well, I went up behind him and did a little technique that TK showed me in the past, well…technically it was my technique since I did make TK…so in the end…it was pretty much my technique…but then again I didn’t go into full detail when I made TK…but that doesn’t matter.
What ended up happening was that I took both of my hooves and put it over his mouth. Well, to be more specific, one hoof over his mouth while the other one over his body, so he couldn't move too much. That of course sprung him awake and of course he was struggling to break free of my grasp around his body, but I wouldn’t let that happen. After a few seconds, he felt like he started to give up, in which case, I took the hoof that I had around his body and with all of my force, hit him in the head to knock him out cold…and it surprisingly worked, because I wasn’t too sure if that would work or not since I did make it up in TK’s universe, so that wouldn't really mean it would work in others. It’s really not easy to tell if something could work in other universes, but that surprisingly worked, although I wasn’t sure if it would work in the human world though.
Well, after I did that, I found it to take a lot of energy out of me, so to conserve my energy and my strength …… I opened my satchel bag and pulled out a gun. However, instead of being loaded with bullets, it was loaded with tranquilizers. I went ahead and put it in my mouth to hold it for a moment until I could get to the other guards.
So from there, I went ahead and went right, which took me to a circle bush. There was a guard on the other side of this circle, so what I did was went around the circle, the left direction that is, and when I could peek around the corner…or a side of the circle…whatever, you know what I mean, I went ahead, took the gun out of my mouth, and laid down on the ground just in case if he would see me standing up. I laid completely flat on the ground and held the gun with both of my hooves, and yes…I was able to pull the trigger with my hooves…it’s a bit complicated telling you how that even works…because even I don’t know how that even works out, but it just somehow does.
Possibly a rule of that universe…or planet since the entire universe was something else entirely, but as far as my knowledge went, it was the My Little Pony universe…an Official one at that as well. Well, I aimed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger with my right hoof.
Soon, the gun spit out a tranquilizer dart that had enough drugs or whatever it was inside of it…because I just went to the store and combined a few things into the capsule, so really anything could have happened…even killed him…but didn’t…that I found out lasted for a few hours, which was enough time that I would have needed for TK and I to find what we needed.
Well, it struck into his neck instead of head, but that was fine, because I really wasn’t sure if it was going to work that night, but I got lucky so it did. I even got more lucky that it only knocked him out for a few hours and not killed him.
Well, he soon fell to the ground, but not a big sound was made since it was on the grass and what not. So I backtracked the way I came and went the opposite direction, which was the left so I could take out the left guard. Soon, I found the left guard sleeping on the grass. It looked like he was tired from the job that he fell asleep. He was all curled up and had a little smile on his face, so really he must have been dreaming of jacking off to Luna or something.
Well, I went ahead and did the same exact thing with the guard on the right, laid down completely flat and had the gun in my hooves and aimed for his head…which went into the neck. Well, after wards, I went up to the guard and started to search for the key, since I wanted to get rid of all of the guards first, because I didn’t feel like moving their heavy bodies into a dark corner somewhere as if I was going to rape them or something…a leprechaun was already taking care of that somewhere in Equestria…I’m sure of it.
So, I searched into his guard pockets…or just pockets…found nothing but lint. So, I backtracked again and went to the guard that was in the center and rummaged through his pockets, also found nothing but a few knives. So, I went to the last guard that I had knocked out and went through his pockets and only found a joker playing card, as if he was playing poker while on break with his buddies or something earlier. I was then stumped and wondered through my head if I just needed to wait for TK to tell me anything for the elevator.
However, right next to me, where the right guard was standing was an outhouse that I never noticed beside me until that very exact moment. And yes….someone was in it…a guard obviously…who had the key because when he came out, with a smile and whistling a tune of joy, he had a set of keys dangling around his guard uniform.
When he got out, he was saying to himself, “Yeah…that was some good cum that I ate that was my cum that I jacked off when I was jacking off to Luna …boy would she look good in a naughty nurse outfit…a pink one especially…boy would I bang that ass and make her suck my cock 24/7.”
Then the guard finally noticed me and not the guard that I had taken out before. When he noticed me, he then was shocked to see me there and listening to what he had to say.
Granted, I didn’t care what he had to say about Luna, everyone does have their little dirty secrets…especially if it has to do something with sex involved in it. Well except for me that is…I have none…at least that has to do with sex that is. Anyways, when he saw me, he then immediately got onto his pony knees and put his two hooves together and started to beg.
He begged me, “Please, don’t tell Princess Luna or Princess Celestia that I said that or else I will get fired for sure. That are maybe even be embarrassed, but please don’t tell a single soul, I know I have a problem eating my own cum, but please don’t tell anypony!”
I then had a thought form in my head, to which case I then said, “How about you unlock that door to the basement and I'll keep quiet about me being here and I won’t say a single word to anyone.”
Then the pony said as he was still on his pony knees, “You promise?”
I then told him, “Yeah…sure…whatever you say there…buddy…that I have just met. I will promise that Celestia, nor Luna, will not be told about this or anyone else. So open the door…you weirdo.”
So, he got up from his pony knees and went straight to the basement door. I of course followed behind him to make sure he did what I wanted him to do. Once he unlocked the door, he opened the door and he looked at me with a worried look, as if I couldn’t keep a secret.
Well sometimes I couldn’t, sometimes secrets are too fun to keep inside, so I sometimes I tell the secret to see what reaction or chain reaction it causes…but I didn’t tell anyone about the guard’s secret…because who the hell wants to know about a guard that eats is own cum while jacking off to Luna that has a pink nurse’s outfit on? I mean who’s interested in that at all?
No one…well…maybe Mr. Jingles since he would find that a bit funny and naughty…if he heard about it…and perhaps he would cause a commotion and try to add drama to it or something like that. But that didn’t matter, because no one gives a dam about a pony eating his own cum.
Well, I stepped through the basement door and found myself to be somewhat in a dark basement.
TK:
Ok now, here’s TK part. What? Oh right…I should explain the name parts that I’m writing in this journal about my life…or else everyone will think it’s just some fat guy writing this or some weird pony pedophile that lives down the street by his local Elmer glue factory or something like that…because it’s not…it’s by me…a freaking Technicolor talking pony with several issues. And it’s my life story and journal, I’ll write whatever I want in it damn it.
You hear me you elitists of….professionalism….if that’s a thing in the future…you get away from my journal…or else…the spooky boogeyman demon stair god will come and get you in your sleep. And then…Master Shake will come out and give you a notepad and force you to draw him a game of Tetris on it…because that’s what you get for coming close to my journal…and because you suck…a lot.
Yeah…that’s it…take it all in. Now, with the names, it’s only to tell each other’s perspective of when we entered the castle and trying to find the floor with the elevator on it, along with whatever problem we may or may not have encountered. In fact, you people…humans…should be thanking me…or else you would be complaining until the cows come home about how it’s not into great detail if I would have just given you my perspective only…and TK’s.
And the thing is…you would be complaining all day because those cows will never come home…because they are dead…I may have killed them….by pushing them off a cliff…or gave them a reason to jump off the cliff themselves. It’s because they were in a cow cult…and the cow cult they were in was called James Moo Town cult…and the leader looked like Elvis Presley.
And instead of making them all drink Kool-aid that would kill them all…he just made them drink a Kool-aid with some random drugs in it to make them think that something is chasing them…like a dragon and the only way to escape is to jump off a cliff. So, they would go to heaven on a comet and meet Twinkie Jesus and give them all the Holy Twinkie for breakfast every morning. And for lunch…a half eaten sandwich that was randomly found in a trash outside of a Denny’s.
And for the main course, dinner, a baloney sandwich with some milk…with expired fruit that gives them magical diabetes. Every day in this paradise they call heaven. That’s why the cows are never coming home and that’s why those types of special people never stop complaining…because they’re cows are missing and they need to take it out on someone. But it’s ok…you’ll see your cows again…in heaven. One day at least, because those were some good cows.
So now…you know what I meant by what's going on with TK’s story. That and I thought it would be obvious from last time, but I would have to explain it just in case some nut job didn’t get what I meant. But we all know why, so it’s ok…it’s just that everyone’s cows that they paid for with their hard earned money…in your possibly still tough economy because either the president is still black or a retard at whatever timeline you have…and all your cows went and joined a cult and killed themselves to the Holy land in heaven to their almighty Twinkie Jesus. Yup…but we understand your pain…I once lost a pet cold fish to a bad crowd. I saw him…going out every night, partying, drinking his life away with drugs, money, bitches, sex…all that stuff.
And one day, he got into a gang called the Cripps…and got into a gang fight with the Bloods or whatever…and he got shot and killed…my poor pet goldfish…he was so young I tell you. He had a life ahead of him, but he was stupid and blinded and refused to listen to me…and wasted it all too. Only if I could have saved him…oh wait that didn’t happen to me. That was some other pony that I know at complete random that is not interesting enough to talk about…yeah this pony that I knew had that pet gold fish and it uh…jumped through the portals and uhh….got itself killed in a gang war you know?
It’s uhh…quite tragic really, but who am I kidding, it was a fucking gold fish, there’s plenty of fish in the sea…you fuck with that is. Because there are some sexy gold fish out there isn’t there? I mean…I’m sure you sick humans one day looked at a gold fish and saw it and slowly licked your lips and started jerking off in a Pet Smart…or was it a Pet Co?
I’m not sure what is there anymore, maybe one of those places got bankrupt and basically went to hell from there. Well anyways, let’s get this story on the road here…because the next gas station isn’t for the next twenty-one times fourteen miles…and little Timmy is going to get a bladder infection and die. Well, back tracking to the point where TK and I spilt off..oh and one more thing…the only reason TK isn’t telling his point of view is…well obvious if you know what I mean. Just thought I should let you all know from the last time he did his whole big point of view of things.
Anyways, as I was saying…or writing in this case, when TK and I split off, he headed towards the right. Now his ally way was the same as mine, but it was to the right. However, instead of quietly jogging, he was running, but he is the devil after all and he could somehow make his suit to be quiet if he wanted to do so. So really he didn’t need to worry about anything at to pretty much everything except for what kind of task was at hand. I mean remember…he’s the devil, but that doesn’t mean that there can be something more bigger and stronger than him that can take him down and kill him.
He could still die if not careful. Or it could be a small thing that could kill him…like a Muslim bean…and suicide bombs his place of hell and kills him. That could also happen. Anyways, he went down quickly towards the end of the alleyway.
Once he reached the end, he took a left instead of a right like I did…because we were on opposite sides of the buildings and the castle.
Now, once he took the left and reached the corner of the building, there were no guards around, but there wasn’t an entrance like my side did. All it had was a big metal fence that was protecting another outside area of the castle.
Possibly a private area for the sisters or something like that. Well, there were no guards looking in his direction and so he then went walked quietly towards the castle, but stopped about ten feet from the point where he would hit the wall of the castle if he would continue to walk…and yes…I had to explain it that way because remember…those cows are dead. Now, he slowly looked upwards towards the sky and towards the castle and pretty much from what I could tell, because unlike the many things I can tell you, I couldn’t tell you what was going on inside TK’s head at the time.
Well, he was looking up ward and I believe he was seeing in his helmet how far he needed to go up with climbing. Now I’m not sure if that was what he was looking at, but it maybe was though…who knows right? Anyways, there were some ledges he could grab a hold to and climb up, just like what he suggested to me before, but he was the devil after all, so of course he wouldn’t go with that pussy way of doing things.
Well, I would think that would be the pussy way of doing things to him that is. But then again I’m not him and I don’t think he would really care at all, but then again that doesn’t really matter because who cares if you’re a pussy?
But then again if you’re an actual pussy, then you might want to check in a doctor about that…because most likely, you’re not eating enough meat…so that’s possibly why you’re a giant pussy. Anyways, TK then got up and stood on two hooves…his back hooves to be more specific before more complain about their cows being missing, and yes he could stand up, he was that much of a badass in a way. Well, He looked at both of his hooves and concentrated on them.
Then…slowly claws that were strong enough to break through the walls of the castle and get a grip on him started to form. They were sharp, dirty, and had a color of black and red so really it was a dark red, but whatever, you get the idea. Now they weren’t too cool looking as a pony, it would look better on him if he was a human instead, but it was still strong enough for the task at hand. Well, he used the claws that grew on his hooves…on the edges that is since others will continue to complain about the cows. But the more they complain, they won’t be seeing their precious cows in heaven…instead…they will be going to regular heaven…and no one likes regular heaven.
Well at least the celebrities don’t that is…they want super heaven instead. Anyways, he then put his right hoof on the walls without making too much noise and pulled himself up, letting his back legs being slowly lifted off the ground, and then using his left hoof to reach higher than his right hoof and so on. You know the climbing process…it’s not like you’re retarded or anything like that. But then again as I recall as a kid back on Earth, always assume the reader knows nothing…but then that would mean all of you are retarded…in which case that explains almost everything…that and you still complain about the cows. The cows are the most important part to the complaining process. Never forget about the cows dam it. Now, he climbed up to the eleventh floor.
Now, he knew what the eleventh floor was at by looking through his helmet..I think but I'm not really sure. Then, after that he climbed through the nearest window that he could find, a guard was looking out through the open window too. TK noticed this, as he could see a little bit from below with the guard looking outside with the guard slightly jutting out, but of course the guard didn’t see him at all. So, TK was still when he was climbing up and got near the window.
I wasn’t sure what he was looking at in his helmet, but if I had to guess, he was finding a way to knock out the guard without killing him with his claws that was on his hooves or bringing any attention.
Of course that would be difficult since the claws could make him bleed to death, so I’m guessing he couldn’t figure out a way, so he then went ahead, climbed around the window to where the guard wouldn’t see him, get near the top of the window, and then jump through the window, with kicking the guard in the face with the hooves that didn’t have the claws on it and knocking him out cold. Along with all landing on the floor and catching the guard before he fell on the floor before a noise could be made.
Now he did all of that, but how he did the catching part, I’m not entirely sure how’s that even possible for him. No wait…now I recall, he teleported quickly to catch him. Now, with that said, he then gently put the guard down and let his claws retract. With the claws of his along with his teleportation, keep in mind that he couldn’t do it at will always. Sometimes he just need energy or souls, but it was still cool when he could do it though. Although there were something's that he could do that he didn’t need energy or souls for…but I’m too lazy to remember what that was, and it really wasn’t all too interesting either, so really no one cares whatsoever.
Anyways, from there, he grabbed the knocked out guard by his pony shoulders and dragged him quietly to a broom closet that was near. It was towards his left when he came through the window, so he opened the door with his left hoof, as he was on his back hoofs again, and put the guard inside the closet and closed the door silently to make sure that there wasn’t any other guards around.
TK then looked around to make sure he was alone for the moment. TK then stood on his two back hooves once more…or and I should mention before everyone flip there shit because they can’t go through a single page…well…let me rephrase that….a single line of words and making sure every single detail is on there, and if they see one thing that is missing, they will turn into animals and raping light bright pieces.
And afterwards, they take a Sonic milkshake…specifically, a Sonic milkshake and stick their real or fake dick in it. Then they call themselves the terminator while rubbing their nipples with a crème that is called whipped delight, despite it may not existing yet. And if it does, then they will do it while looking themselves in the mirror while signing ‘I’m walking on sunshine’ for the next ten hours, because they are extremely lonely and need their privacy and their space in order to figure out who they are in life and to find themselves.
Then…and only then will they go out on to the open road and follow their true calling…dancing. And then once they hit it big, they will soon start dancing with a poor girl or boy, depending on the gender that is. We don’t want any Feminazis that they speak for all females say that this is sexist. Well, they will soon marry the poor guy or girl and end up having five children in Boston. And then they all explode and the parents go to jail for being tourists because they are living in a post 9-11 era where everything is a bomb on the East Coast.
Well, of America that is, because in South America, everything on the East Coast is human trafficking. That and hoes that you don’t want to ever touch….or else you’ll get rabies. Anyways, what I was going to say was when TK closed the closet door, he went back on all fours.
Sorry had to get that out before you know what happens because I’m not explaining it again because it’ll take too long.
Now, after that, what I was going to say was he looked around, made sure that no guards were walking around. Also where he was at, the hallway was somewhat dark, but had some lighting here and there…just not bright enough as if it was during the day time. Anyways, TK then stood back on both hind legs or if that is the right words…I’m not the horse fucker here…I mean biologist.
Then again I don’t think a biologist would know the correct term. Then again it’s just a horse’s or pony’s back legs…nothing to really get all mad about. Anyways, TK stood back on both legs and brought his left hoof to his helmet and brought up his right hoof to do something on his left hoof’s arm. In which case, he held out his left arm and then pointed down the left of him which was a hallway.
By the way, the layout of the floor was just a big outer rectangle with the inner rectangle being just a bunch of rooms. In other words it was a normal floor. And the floor was covered with dark red carpet…just thought I get that out of the way before people combine both the cows and you know what part. That would be just absolutely terrible, as that’s not a combination that you would want to have happen…at all…or else hell will break loose and you don’t want to be around when that happens.
Or else Satan and his armies will place tracking chips into you…and really….they’re Frosted Flakes chips…with a tracking chip inside the frosted flake chip. So really it’s a chip within a chip. But then again that’s not really a chip…that’s a cereal. But it’s pretty much a chip, but then again if we continue to talk like this, then the American government is going to spend the next fifty-eight hours trying to define the word chip. And we all have out things that we need to do of course, but that’s not going to happen because of the American government. But then again, why do I even care.
What I have to worry about is the Equestrian government…which is just Celestia and Luna and they are a pain in my butt. My pony butt that is…because there is a difference between a human butt and a pony butt. Anyways, TK put his left hoof out towards the left hallways from where he was standing. Then these tiny micro bots came flying out, three to be exact and started to scan the entire floor.
Two went to the left while one went the opposite way so it could get everything on in his helmet, or at least to double check that is to make sure everything is good. Also, the microdots didn’t make a single noise whatsoever and you could barely see them, so it could scan the entire floor without a single guard notching it.
TK then just stood there back on all fours, awaiting for the micro bots to return from doing its job. After a while, it soon returned and when it came close coming back, TK raised his left hoof again and let the micro bots back in. Soon, TK got everything in his helmet…I assume that is, and then silently walked down the hallways. He went to the left, and to give you an idea, he was at the bottom part of the rectangle. So he would be walking up to the side for those who were curious which part of the floor he was on at the time.
Well, TK then went to the left and the hallway he was in was still dark, but with some sort of light to it, but it was faint or something like that. Well, afterwards, he went to the corner of the end of the hall, right before he needed to turn to the right and was silent. He looked around the corner and the left part of the hall of this rectangle floor layout was lit up. He also saw a guard that was just standing perfectly still, looking at the wall, possibly day dreaming of a different job of some kind, to where he didn’t need to just stand there.
Possibly a dream of a dream job he would have wanted as a kid, but possibly he only joined the Royal Guards or whatever it was called because it was part of the family name, where each generation, the stallions would go into the guards to protect the sisters. Perhaps he was day dreaming of such a thing, where he would have fought with his fathers and if any, brothers to find his dream job.
Maybe it was owning a little shop that sold toys. Maybe it was in the music or movie industry. But either way, that is only a dead dream, for the chance of doing what he would have wanted would be dead. So in the end, the only way he would be able to do such a thing would be to be only in death. So, he would need to kill himself, in order to be at peace, and perhaps in heaven he might be able to live out his dream. Either in an illusion or for the dead, he would be happy.
That, or he could tough it out and wait for death to come. But then death is too slow and it seems that it takes forever for death to come take one’s soul to the afterlife. So the only other option would be to be bored out of his mind, waiting for that day to come when sweet and silent death comes to whisk him away from everything that he was forced to do that he didn’t want to do.
Or perhaps there is something else underneath that guard helmet of that stallion who’s guarding the halls within the castle late at night. Perhaps, deep down, it wasn’t day dreaming he was thinking about when he staring off into space. Perhaps he was thinking of past memories of long ago that he missed. Perhaps as a small child that he never realized at that point was a great thing.
Perhaps when he was a child, he would never think of growing older, so he would never realize what he had to lose. And so, he would stand there and think about those past memories and slowly cry on the inside, as he recalls the memories of his past that he has lost within his heart. He knows for a fact what he missed he wants to enjoy again, but he would never get that time ever again, not even in death. So perhaps he would wish every night that he could just…relive those moments. But we all know that wishes aren’t that easy to grant, now are they?
And so he stands there, wishing every night he could relive those memories of long ago and have what he once lost. And so, that's possibly why he was a guard, to escape from everything from his past so he couldn’t bear the pain of remembering those memories of his.
However, of course there is something to take the pain away, death. All he has to do is die, die in peace. And while he will not have his specific wish in death, he would at least be at peace and not have to deal with the pain that aches within his own heart of the lost memories that he once held to his soul greatly. And why not a better way to die than to trying to protect the royal sisters, so that way, at least he could be doing a service in the process of getting what he wants, and that is to take the pain away from the memories.
It would be because he could not help but compare his life to what it was long ago, to which he figures out that long ago was more precious to him than it was at that very moment. Sure, the guard looked young and strong and looked as if he had a long life ahead of him.
But at the same time he felt old in a way, as if he just wanted to lay down and die. As if he’s been through the worst of it all and has been through a lot of pain and suffering. But he cannot help but feel his life was better back then, but he knows that he cannot recreate or relive the past. He knows that in his heart and his soul.
So, the only way to fix that problem is to be dead. Not in heaven, not in hell, just dead, where he doesn’t even need to know that he is even alive. It would be just nothing, where he is not even conciseness about the darkness surrounding him.
At least then…he doesn’t need to be alive and aware of where he is to feel the pain of the memories. But even then that’s just a boring thing to do, and he knows that. So the only option now is to be tortured of his own memories, to forever live out the pain of remembering the good times that he once had but are now lost throughout time and space. Now, those memories are forever gone.
Granted, sometimes things are never truly gone. To say if one lost one’s family, there is still hope for one to return. But for his memories though, he would need to do a lot more than just wishing to grant his wish, but he knows that will never happen unless otherwise.
And sadly, he will just die, knowing that on his deathbed, that he will lose those memories forever and ever, to never be at peace at all. Or perhaps he was a lone wolf, a mentally ill lone wolf, where he was plotting to go on a mass shooting at Celestia's school because he was so tired of being bossed around, That he was tired of life and wanted others to feel his pain, or perhaps he just need something to take the pain out on. And so in his little own world, he 's thinking of penguins.
There are four penguins in his mind. Three little happy penguins, dancing and smiling about in the foreground, but one in the background that is just staring blankly at the camera, looking t the little happy penguins.
But what the happy penguins don't know is that the penguin that is in the back is going to kill the happy little penguins by slitting their throats open, tearing their spines out, gouge their fucking eyes out with a fucking spoon, cut them into little bits and serve it to their children and their children's children...because a lone wolf penguin is an unhappy penguin.
Or you know…he was just doing his duty like those guards in England that do not move…at all…that’s a possibility. I mean he didn’t get hired as a guard for nothing you know? I mean if you were expecting something to be that detailed in my life story…then you’re wrong…because he was just a fucking guard and nothing more.
I mean, I know I need to put in the details of what there was…but not their entire back-story…because he was a fucking guard. But you know…it doesn’t matter…you can complain about the cows being missing instead. But whatever suits you better is fine with me. Although, if I must say though, the guard was staring at the wall…so take that for what you will.
Anyways, TK saw him and studied him to make sure there wasn’t any trick to what he was doing at all. And so, once TK was sure that the guard was just standing there, TK moved a bit backwards. Then, TK turned the corner quickly without a sound or the guard’s awareness and quickly rolled on the floor and leapt into the air, took his right hoof, and punched out the guard cold in the head.
Of course, this made a noise, which made a nearby guard curious enough to check it out.
So, the guard said out loud as he was coming to turn the corner, “Are you alright!?”
Soon, once the third guard turned around the corner, well this would be the third guard that TK has encountered on this floor that is….just…you know…making sure is all. Well, once the third guard turned the corner, TK had his gun ready with a dose of a liquid that would knock a bull elephant down for fifty hours straight and once the guard was within range, TK pulled the trigger and the non-lethal bullet hit his neck and soon the guard fell down once the thing hit him.
Now, I am aware of what TK said earlier, but if I had to guess, it was because the floor only had three guards stationed on it, and I’m guessing he was sure it wouldn’t hurt if it would knock them all out. Well, afterwards, he got up started looking through all the doors and rooms on the floor, mostly the inner rectangle of course, to check for the elevator. However, he didn’t find anything at all.
TK checked through seven rooms and two closets, but not one of them had what he was looking for. So, TK nodded and went to the window he leapt in through earlier and went out. Of course before he did that, he made his claw thing comes out and got on to the wall again to climb to the next floor, which was the twelfth floor.
I mean, you might think that the claw thing is kind of stupid, but he’s the devil, what do you expect? I mean do you expect for him to be handsome and good looking as always? Or do you expect him to be a gentle creature with a change of heart?
Well, you’re wrong because he isn’t that at all. He’s a thing or person that I created with my mind that is now the devil and he mostly has a cold heart. So really you could say he has a heart of stone because that’s just the way he is…or at least how I made him. I mean you might complain why not make him to have feelings, but really that’s what I was trying to get away from if I recall correctly on the day that I made him in my head.
I didn’t want him to have feelings because I knew he was better than humans…he was something more, something different, something that was broken from within. And so, all the feeling he would feel would be anger, for he had a broken heart.
However instead of crying, he used that to his advantage and not care a single damn about anyone else like a crying person that is about to die of some sort of danger. Well anyways, that’s TK’s first part for you…now on to mine.
Knight:
Ok, here’s my part now…oh and hello again. Having a nice day so far? Having a rough day? Having a day somewhere between the middle? Well that doesn’t matter does it now? Well let’s continue where we left off with me.
What was it? Oh yeah…the basement. Don’t look at me like that…whatever that look may be. I mean…we all forget our places…especially in life. And besides, I get off track sometimes…I suppose it’s a weakness…but then again what isn’t a weakness for me? Well, that doesn’t matter, what matters is continuing the story…of my life….and I realize that might sound receptive by now…but always remember those type of people who lose their cows. And most of the time it isn’t pretty.
Anyways, I entered the basement and I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to that one guy who ate his own cum because he was jacking off to a little of fantasy of his about Luna giving him a blowjob. And then he got scared that he said all of that out loud.
But then again what about the other guards when they would have heard about what he was doing in the bathroom? I don’t know…maybe they already know. Or maybe they were all in on it and they all jacked off and ate their own cum. Maybe…or maybe he was just an idiot. Well the important thing is that he and once he opened the basement for me and he closed the door behind me. And then he locked it.
Once I heard the clicking sound, I then banged on the door and yelled at him, “Hey…open this door! I thought we had a deal!?”
Then the guard said, who was apparently putting his back towards the wall, “I can’t take that risk! You know too much dam it! So you’re going to have to do die in there…sorry…nothing personal…ok it’s personal…because you know my dirty little secret!”
I then gave a look that pretty much said, ‘Really….are you doing this right now? I mean are you in idiot and expect me to be an idiot? Because if so….you’re a dead mother fucker, because you couldn’t be more wrong than you already are at this very moment. Now I might not be that snob rich type of pony type, but I do know for a fact that you saw are an imbecile and I wish I could raise my nose up to you as high as I can and turn my back to you because you sir…are a liar and a fraud…so good day to you sir!’
Actually…it was more or less of just slowly closing my eyes and giving a look that said ‘Are you fucking kidding me?,'
Or a better example, ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’
Well, which either suits you I suppose.
Well, I then told the guard that was a back stabbing son of a bitch, “How do you expect me to die in here? You know I could just sneak up the steps and get out through the first floor you know?”
Then the guard said, “Oh how you’re wrong there boy…this is a basement that was made and only for the guards. The royal sisters have no idea about this basement at all. Not even the new Princess Twilight or Princess Cadence knows about this basement. I mean sure, they know of A basement, but not THIS basement. Only the guards know about this basement and we made it too. And there is no way you can get to the first floor. However, there is a lift that can take you to the second floor, granted it has a bunch of guards on that floor, but there is a key to get to it though, but you need to find the key first.”
I then was a bit confused, while also having that sort of look on my face as well, to which I asked the guard through the door, “Well…how do I get this key then to use the lift you speak of?”
Then the guard said, “Let’s just say there’s a reason why intruders that try to break into this castle never speak about this place. Or to put into better words, there’s a reason why this castle is well guarded.”
I then said to him, “I have no idea what you’re…”
Then I heard a growl coming from within the basement. I had shocked looking eyes, felt a little bit scared and also felt that my heart was starting to pump faster with every second passing by as I stood there in that poorly lit basement.
I then asked the guard, “What was that?”
Then the guard said before he left me to my own fate, “Yeah…good luck there.”
Then, I said to him, “Hello? Are you still there? You’re not there are you?”
I then hear a second growl come from within. I then start to shake a little, more specifically my legs, because I was afraid what could be within the basement. I then started to walk through the basement. There was nothing there, it was completely empty except for a few poorly lit lights and a lot of stone brick columns. I kept walking and tried to find the lift that was mentioned to me before. I didn’t have a single clue where it would be because the basement was really big.
I think it would actually be bigger than the entire castle itself. It might have even been running through the entire lake or body of water that was by the castle…because there was this body of water that was at the bottom of Cantorlot.
You know, because Cantorlot is on that high cliff thing. I mean you should know because you most likely watched the show and should know what I’m talking about at least? Then again I'm not sure if that body of water was in the show.
I mean come on, not all the time the writer can know everything…just like the reader…I’m just not retarded is all. I mean…like I said, always remember the phrase that the reader knows nothing and that they’re retarded. And yes, I needed to bring that up again because of such a thing because chances are they have amnesia too.
But it’s ok…just pretend that the cows are coming home. Oh wait, no one can pretend anymore and use their imagination. I forgot and keep forgetting that too and keep thinking that humans back on Earth will get it together one day…but we all know that’s not going to happen at all. Anyways, it was that body of water that’s big enough to where it takes a while to travel across the body of water.
Now I’m not an expert, but that might be considered a lake…but maybe not though. Anyways, I should mention sometime in the future, when I got closer to Celestia and Luna, I did tell them about the secret basement. I mean not my secret hidden basement, I mean the secret hidden basement underneath the castle that the princesses doesn’t know about. But they eventually figure out my secret hidden basement though at one point.
Anyways, I kept walking in one direction, now I am unsure what that direction might have been, but if I had to have guessed, maybe the north. I mean I am just guessing is all, so really I have a one in an eighth of a chance at getting it right. Then again I could have figured it out if I would have known what direction I was facing when looking towards the basement door in the garden, but even then I’m not sure what direction that would be at all.
I mean I know I’m supposed to be this really old guy who has traveled through different universes and know a lot and have also seen a lot as well, I’m just an idiot in some cases…like my sense of direction. Then again from what I can recall back from Earth, I wasn’t a very good navigator or knew where I was going half of the time. In fact, that’s possibly one of the reasons why I kept failing my driver’s test when trying to get my license.
But then again by now I should be good, because I did say I was able to do it. Well if you remember that far back that is, but hey I don’t blame you…I blame the cows and the school. Anyways, I continued in one direction only, and eventually my feet started to hurt, not too much though, but I could still feel it though. Eventually I made it to the end and reached a wall, while also seeing a small puddle of water and a skeleton.
He was a pony of course, I mean why wouldn’t it be, it’s not like humans went into this universe before. But then again that doesn’t mean a portal could have made a rip and sort of crossed paths.
I mean I thought I explained what I meant by that, but just in case, I mean by random rips through space and time could randomly appear that could be a portal to other universes. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it could still happen though. And it’s not all the time noticeable either, it’s usually opens in remote areas. It could still open in public and busy places, just mostly remote areas for some reason.
But then again, that’s possibly why the portals always open in some sort of caves, because perhaps there is something that happens when there is a huge crowed. Like perhaps too much noise, too much of something that is within the molecules to really open up. So that’s possibly why the portals opens in caves only, deep within, because not much happens when it’s deep and dark within a cave.
Although what takes to open the portals within the universe is possibly just an attraction that goes into the caves. Or maybe the wind or something, I don’t know. It’s like in that second Matrix movie, the reason why no one speaks up about the awesome action scenes in it because they most likely take it is was the wind.
Although I’m not sure why sometimes the caves open up though in locations that are not even on the map. But if I recall correctly, there are myths about certain islands on Earth in the sea that only appear once a year in the mist. But then again that was a long time ago, but that is something to think about. But then again I don’t recall about the mist part though, but strange things happen all the time, so really I don’t care at all.
Anyways, I know I was getting off track there…but I least I shed some light on some theories about the mysteries about the portals…right? I mean at least that happened? Are you happy now? No? Well you can all go to hell then and burn.
(Small) Hard asses that are so hard to please, all that I fucking do for them.
Anyways, I found the puddle of water and like I said it, it might have been running under that body of water that I mentioned before, that’s why I brought it up in the first place. Granted it could just be a leak in some pipes, but you can never be for certain though.
Anyways, I also said that I found a lift. Oh…right…and that skeleton…he was just a dead skeleton, nothing special about that dead skeleton other than it did have some bite marks on it.
So of course just by seeing that scared me, especially since I was on my own and such. I mean even brave men can get scared. What matters is facing what strikes fear into your heart and soul. Anyways, I saw the lift, it was right next to the skeleton and this once alive pony had his or her left hoof on the door railing. Well, I used my magic and removed that hoof that was trying to open the door.
But when I did so, I heard a growl, which made my heart race even more which then motivated me to move even faster as well. I tried pulling this hoof off the door to the lift, but it was stuck, as if the pony had a good grip on it before he or she died of whatever killed him or her.
Well, I heard an even louder growl and it pushed me to my limits once that sound of terror reached my ear drums…my pony ear drums that is. I’m not sure if there’s a difference or not, but also keep in mind this was a different universe, so it could most likely be the case. Well, I eventually made the bone hoof break away from the body itself, but was able to get the door to the lift open.
So I quickly went into the lift, which by the way was a small lift that was made by hoof from the looks of it. It was also wooden as well with an electric motor attached to it. There was also a keyhole that looked like it needed to start the engine.
However, I knew better than that. And what I mean by that, I mean I knew nothing at all what I was doing and immediately started hitting the machine and begged and prayed in vane that it would work and take me up to the second floor. But of course that wouldn’t happen at all because that’s like asking a miracle to happen…on ice. See what I did there? I made a reference.
Am I cool now…am I hip with the kids now? No? Well those kids were going to burn in hell anyways for never looking away from their fancy phones. Anyways, I then heard an even bigger growl, as it was close to me, I was stricken with fear throughout my body.
I was afraid that I was going to die, alone in that basement just trying to break into a castle. The worst part, no one would know I was even there in the first place, because most likely the guards would just keep quiet about those who broke in that night and never speak about it again. It was scary for me, until I thought about an idea that could save me from the situation that I was put in by that cum eating pony that liked to jack off to Luna in a pink nurse outfit because he was extremely lonely and didn’t want anyone at all knowing about his secret.
I put my right hoof to my ear that TK put that microphone in at and pressed something to get into contact with him. I then heard a noise, a little bit of a screeching sound, but of course that was sort of normal…but not really. Then…I heard the his voice on the other end, but it made me feel like it was an angel on the other end. But in a way that’s ironic…and that’s good right guys?
Because…he was the devil…and I thought it felt like it was talking to an angel that was there to protect me and save me and such from great danger. That’s what you wanted…right guys? Irony? I mean I know there’s many types of irony. If that wasn’t your type of irony…then how about an iron and an ironing board…I think there’s an insult to be made somewhere there but I can’t put my finger…I mean hoof…don’t judge me…on it.
Speaking of that, I know all those are all complaining about not using those pony terms….well…I just don’t give a fuck about those pony terms…is that an answer…because it seems like a legit answer to me. It sounds good enough, but then again not really as the smart people say it doesn’t describe enough and there needs to be synonyms added to it that not many of heard about, but use it anyways because it’ll lighten things up…which it won’t if no one knows what that specific word even means in the first place.
In fact…why are there so many words that means similar things in the first place? Oh well…it must be a human thing I guess. Same thing with complaining about the cows, that also too must be a human thing. Anyways, TK was on the other end and he asked me, “What is it? You found what floor the elevator is on yet?”
I then said to him, “Uhh no…TK…I did not. In fact I pretty much got myself into a bad type of situation right now.”
TK then asked me, "What is it this time?"
I then told him, “Well, let’s just say I may have come into contact with a guard and pissed him off by knowing a little dirty secret of his, and so he put me in his secret hidden basement that not even the princesses knows about, where they send in anyone that tries to break in or that piss them off to die. However, the guard told me, and he was telling the truth, that there is a way out to the second floor as there is a lift, but it needs a key. Now I have no idea where this key is even at in the first place. However, if I had to guess, it’s on some sort of monster that has been killing all those that enter the basement, hints as to why no one has ever spoken up about the hidden basement. So really, I’m starting to get freaked out right now what’s in this basement. I tried doing something to the electric motor that activates the lift, but without the proper tools, I wouldn’t be able to get it open and re-wire it to get it the thing running up to the second floor. The best I can do is kick it and shoot darts that have drugs that knocks out the guards at it. So really, in the end, I’m screwed unless you can help me out right now.”
When I was talking to TK, I started to see some shadows pass me from all directions. I even thought I saw something crawl on the ceiling above my head, which wasn’t too high up, but still noticeable though.
Well, TK then responded to me with, “Well, I’m busy and as much in trouble just as much as you are right now.”
I then asked him while turning around, trying to make sure what I was seeing was real which was the shadows that I was seeing by me and in the not-so-far darkness and making sure I wasn’t attacked from behind, “What are you talking about TK? Is something going on up there? Did you get caught or something?”
TK then said to me, “It’s mostly like the problem that you have, except the opposite.”
I then told him, “I don’t get it TK.”
TK then told me, “Let’s just say that the guards let something out that they should not have let out in the first place. Listen, just try and hold out as long as you can, I’ll try to get down there as soon as I take care of my problem first. And if you can take care of your problem, just continue to look for…”
I then here a loud crash and a bunch of noise coming from TK’s end.
I then asked loudly, “TK? Are you there TK? TK!? TK! Son of a bitch…I hope he isn’t dead yet.”
I then saw a shadow come even closer to me and went past me at the same time.
I then gave a sigh to myself and then asked myself, “How do I even get into these messes? Is it because I’m dumb? Maybe…but if so….maybe TK is right…maybe I am an idiot sometimes. I just need to stay calm and get out of here alive and not die right now. That’s all I need to concentrate on and get out of here alive.”
Then…I see the shadow of a large creature in front of me in the darkness…staring at me with red glowing eyes. It looked like a monster that was made in a lab that came from a movie like Frankenstein. Well the shadows at least. That and the shadow is a Jew…a Jewish shadow that is. And all the white shadows with red markings on it send those Jewish shadows to the shadow Holocaust…which was faked and put into a creepypasta with hyper realistic eyes…if that makes any sense at all. But then again, in the line of work that I am in and what I’ve seen and done…everything makes sense to me.
Anyways, I was afraid, as the shadow of this monster got closer and closer as it did to me. I was shaking and couldn’t control my legs, as they were wobbling uncontrollably.
I couldn’t take it any longer, so without thinking about it, I quickly got onto my pony knees and put my head down to the ground and put both of my hooves over my face so I wouldn’t see what was coming to me. By the way, just in case there are some cow tippers out in the audience this evening that took those people’s cows away and made them angry, I’m sure you cow tippers are curious about why I keep referring to pony knees, as they are just knees and some cases.
Reason why I say so is because you cow tippers are the sickest group of people that I have ever met in my life and possibly work on the Deep Web or something like that and possibly jacks off on someone’s webcam you hacked into and such while pouring acid all over your eye balls to achieve a super orgasm that you will only feel by wearing mittens. And then in which case you then take your penis and cut it off and start to skull fuck yourself until you start getting high from it all while shoving a Twix bar up your asshole and thinking you’re doing Bob Hope or pretending to be Bob Hope because you have a sex fantasy with Bob Hope’s dead body.
That’s what cow tippers are…and I will be damned to kick them out on to the streets and away from this….story….because they make most up those who read my stories…I’m sure of it once this story hits the planet and stuff and gets discovered by someone. Just...you know…hopefully not by a group of teenagers that are stupid enough to carry a camera into the woods at night…alone…and oddly film every moment they possibly can for no reason at all and ends up finding my journal and such.
Anyways, the reason why I keep saying pony knees and because that’s what they are…pony knees. Now you cow tippers can stop complaining and continue to give attention and your precious time to this story because you are all cow tippers that care.
That and I’m also sure you skull fuck yourself in your sleep. Oh and if you’re a female cow tipper…instead of a dick, it would be your ovaries that you rip out and replace with a feather duster that is made out of lead while giving birth to Santa Crab that plans to one day take over the Earth and enslave the human race to build his almighty castle that will summon the great god….The Boo Ba!
Anyways, I was on my pony knees, afraid as to what was going to happen next. Soon, I felt the monster’s presence by me, so I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for what was going to come next. However…nothing happened, but I continued to close my eyes because I was guessing that monster was studying me and smelling me to make sure I was its right prey for that evening.
Oh and to clear this up with the cow tippers as well before they force three monkeys to pour piss all over their faces and make them drink a very poor carbonated drink of water with flavor added to it…while making them finger each in their butt holes while raping them and then start spreading Monkey AIDS around the city of New York…just because New York is always the center of disaster.
What I want to clear up is that due to the fact that I was scared, despite being trained and such by TK and everything, I just have to say is….even those well trained are even scared. Those who face death every day fear death at least a little bit. And besides…like I said….I would most likely would have been dead and never been heard from ever again.
Anyways, eventually I kept closing my eyes and shivering while having my rump in the air…as I was scared…and was waiting for the worst to come to me. However…nothing happened that night…in fact nothing ever happened.
Suddenly…I heard this whiny type of a black guy voice that said, “Yo man…I’ve come here…to mess you up boy!”
I then was a bit confused as to why the monster was saying such thing, to which case I then slowly got up and uncovered my eyes and raised up my head so I was perfectly straight up to see what I was trying to see and such. To my surprise, I didn’t see a big scary monster in front of me. In fact, I didn’t see nothing at all in front of me.
The only thing that I saw was an empty space, but yet a voice said to me while I was standing there being confused and such, “Yo man…look down here and give me your money before I cut you boy!”
I then looked down, not acting scared or anything like that and saw to my surprise a very fat caterpillar. I then looked around, wondering what was happening and wondering why a caterpillar was there.
However, the caterpillar then said to me, while holding a very extremely tiny knife…somewhere….maybe up his butt…and said to me, “I said give me your money before I cut you up real good son!”
I then looked around to make sure this wasn’t a joke…but it wasn’t…kind of….but not really though. I brought my head down closer to the caterpillar and asked him, “Who the fuck are you?”
The caterpillar looked all surprised and such and then said to me, “Who am I? Who am I!? Boy, you need to get out more…because you’re dumb. Obviously I’m the Amazing Jizzy G! I’m a hardcore gangster and rapper…and I need some money…so give me your wallet before I cut you fool!”
I then looked even more confused and asked him, “Where’s your knife at then?”
Then the caterpillar then said, “Well….it’s there…but you can’t see it with the naked eye. You need a microscope…but I have a knife…and I will cut you with it…just like how I will also bash you in the head with the world’s tiniest violin!”
I then looked disappointed and then asked the caterpillar…I mean the Amazing Jizzy G before you cow tippers start having super orgasms, “You can’t kill me with that knife…could you?”
Then the caterpillar said to me, “Well…I could try…and I would imagine it would hurt properly really bad too….so you know….you should think twice of what you’re doing…if you know what is good for you that is.”
I then thought for a bit and started to think to myself, ‘What a wonderful world this is…isn’t it? Not only are there talking Technicolor ponies walking around that use magic…but there’s gangster caterpillars, Slender Fetus, and ponies that eat their own cum by jacking off to Luna wearing a sexy, naughty, pink nurse outfit in this world. Although I wonder what that cum tastes like though…I wonder what mine tastes like now that I think about it.
'They always said cum was salty…so maybe it’s sea salt in that cum. Then again I have also heard it also tastes like lime…in which case I should then just be eating shit because that’s what it is…to me at least. Well that doesn’t matter…I should deal with this gangster caterpillar right now before he tries really hard and fails at life and ends up drinking his sorrows away in a abandoned junkyard filled with Johnny Cash’s dead bodies that he used to fuck until he slept every night.
'I’m sure of that’s where he would drink his sorrows away at…it just makes perfect sense after all. Anyways, I should end up talking to this Jizzy G…which sounds like a rip off already…but I can’t help he reminds me of a certain spider though….a certain…gangster spider or something like that…oh well no one cares, let’s move on with life now.
'Although I suppose I should think up another song to sing in my head while I’m here…let’s try a recent song…I know…Happy…despite it used to making me wanting to blow my own brains out every time I heard it back on Earth…but it will be a change of pace though. Now what was those lyrics…’
‘Yeah….now that’s what I’m talking about. Oh…wait…I’ve got another idea…but I really need to think deep and hard about this one though. Just give me a moment and…’
‘I thought to deep about it…well then it does speak to me in a way…it says something about society in a way…In fact…it touches my soul…my heart…it says so much about me in a way…that is what beauty is to the soul. Perhaps…I should proceed with one more beautiful thought, for one to think deep, means true happiness in one’s heart and…’
‘Or you know…something that’s funny. I mean that was funny to me…although I wonder what’s going on in that background though…it looks nice and it makes me want to join in on the fun…possibly even fuck the fire in that one. Wait…what am I doing just standing here and thinking of weird but yet exciting things about life and the soul?
'I have a job to do here and that’s to break into Cantorlot castle and steal those files that are hidden away on some sort of floor that me and TK need to find that can be accessed through an elevator. That and I need to deal with this gangster caterpillar. But then again…I do go off course at times…oh well…that isn’t the important part. The important part is that you should always buy a bag of peanuts before bedtime…what a great lesson to teach to kids. Anyways…I wonder what I should say to this Jizzy G here…wait…I’ve got it!’
I then got out of my trance of focusing on my thoughts in my head and started to realize that Jizzy G was talking a lot while I was distracted with myself.
He said when I finally caught on back to reality and realize what was going on…in other words, mid sentence, “…and that’s why I ate a bunch of homeless children at a garage sell because they were a buck fifty each.”
I then stood there confused as to what he was even talking about, but I was distracted with my own thoughts though, so I then asked him, “What? You…fucked a bunch of kids?”
Then Jizzy G gave a loud, but yet high pitched sigh and said to me, “No man…I’m not a kid fucker! I was just saying that I ate a bunch of homeless kids that I got at a garage sell for a buck fifty each.”
I then stood there, still being confused to what he was saying, to which I then asked him, “So what does this have to do with anything about you demanding that I do what you tell me to do…or even being here in the first place.
Then Jizzy G said to me, “It’s a gangster thing man….you won’t even understand it…now give me your money now or I’ll cut you like the legit thing that I am sucker!”
I then stood there, giving the look of disappointment again and I asked him, “So…do you do anything but spend here in this secret basement all day or do you just do this to anyone that comes near you and annoy the crap out of them?”
Then Jizzy G said to me, while still looking like he was trying to hold the world’s smallest knife, “Of course not man! Do you think I’m stupid or something? You’ve got it all wrong, this is only just a side job for me to earn a little extra on the side while I do my main job…being a rap artist. And I’m very legit at that as well…OG mother fucker!”
I then asked him, “So if you’re a rapper…then you wouldn’t mind performing one of your ‘famous’ songs for me then…would you?”
Then Jizzy G said to me, “Well…sure…if you pay me fifty bucks right now…sure…”
I then just stare at him while giving him the look of where one says that he or she is not in the fucking mood to do anything right now and will kick a fat kid’s ass if he doesn’t stop yelling for his cheesy bread or something like that.
Then there was silence between us until he broke that silence and said to me, “Alright then…I’ll do it for free then…but I’ll only give you a demo of a song…because I’m a legit OG mother fucker! Ok then…so here it goes…”
I’m a legit OG mother fucker! My father was a trucker! So one day I went up to him and said, Pops! I’ll kick you in the bobs, And all I did to him that night was put a gun to his head, And proceeded to fill it with lead! Then I took that body down to the Goodwill store down the street, And I got a free sheet of black ice! I then got into my car filled with lice, And drove down to my nearest landfill and filled with it with food! I then went to the OG corner and posted signs that you should throw food into the landfill! A few weeks later I went back to that land fill and started to bang that landfill to the heavens…because I’m a legit OG mother fucker!
After his song was finished, I couldn’t tell if he was just trying too hard or he was just stupid. After he had finished that verse of his so called demo of his, we didn’t speak a single word to each other.
He then said to me, “Well there you go…there’s my demo….what did you think of it?”
I then told him right in his caterpillar face, “It fucking sucked…..you’re no better than a black guy trying to be good at math because he isn’t Asian. That or a black guy that is trying to laugh at stereotypical jokes about black people, but can’t seem to do that so he just goes home and beats his wife around for a bit until he drinks himself to sleep with Grape Soda at a KFC with a basketball in his hand and trying to sing like Eminem. In other words you’re a piece of shit Jizzy G.”
Jizzy G then told me, but this time in a softer voice than before, “Well…you know man…I’m trying to get picked up by a record company and…you’re not helping me with your opinion right now…I need some confidence….and some good self-esteem…because it’s supposed to be good for you and stuff…right? Good self-esteem is supposed to be good for you and make you have friends and have a good life…right?”
I then proceeded to say to him, “Absolutely not at all. I mean…all the self-esteem movement makes you think that you’re good…but really you’re just a piece of shit down in your soul and tries to pretend that you’ll make it in the world one day…but you don’t…just like you Jizzy or whatever you are.”
Then the caterpillar then said to me, “That’s…kind of harsh man…I mean…I just need some help here and you keep putting me down and stuff. I feel like I’m going to go kill myself now. Should I hang myself or set myself on fire?”
I then told the caterpillar, “You should set yourself on fire…it’ll go quicker. Just trust me…I’m helping you out here and stuff.”
Then the caterpillar said to me, “Alright then…I’ll go get the gasoline and stuff.”
I heard a door opening that sounded like it was coming from the entrance to the secret basement from the garden.
Then I heard a voice, which was basically that one guard who ate his own cum that had locked me in the basement in the first place, but wasn’t showing himself and was just yelling from the door and yelled into the basement, “Are you dead yet!?”
I then said to him…or more or less yelled at him, “Get your ass over here before I come over there and shove your own asshole into your own mouth!”
Then I heard the guard said, “Ok…”
Then I heard slow walking by the clop sounds that were being made through the entire basement floor that echoed from the guard’s hooves. Then again it could have been just him clopping…because he was making clopping sounds…so either he was jacking off to Luna again or he was walking towards me.
Maybe both. Anyways, once he came to me, he looked a little sad and ashamed for what he had done, as if he tried real hard to look serious and badass to me, but yet failed to do such a thing with me.
I then asked him, “What was that thing that you said that was trying to kill me!?”
The guard didn’t answer me and he just stood there with his eyes looking away from me and not trying to make eye contact whatsoever. I then said to him, “Answer me dam it!”
Then the guard said to me in a very soft voice where all you could hear was mumbling, “mpppmpppmppmppmpp”
I then yelled at him…while asking at the same time…if you get the idea that is, “What did you say!? Speak louder dam it!”
Then the guard finally broke down and said to me, “Alright…so it really wasn’t a thing that was trying to kill that I said that was going to happen. And this isn’t really a secret basement…it’s just something I made so I can come in here and cry myself to sleep while jacking off to Luna and eating my own cum since I live alone and have no friends. And those skeletons that you might have seen really wasn’t actual skeletons…they were just…actual dead skeletons that I got from the morgue one time and just lied to you that the monster killed those people.
'That and the caterpillar is just someone that is renting out the basement to live in since I have so much room and stuff. But this is a place where I do send ponies that do attempt to break into the castle…but they just escape by either going into the sewer tunnels that are nearby or climbing up the walls…but that lift though is a real lift. And it does need a key and stuff for it to able to go up to the second floor…into a broom closet that is…because no one wanted to chip in and make a lift that went from the basement to the second floor. 'In fact all they did when I asked the guards about it, all they did was just was throw burning rocks at my face…and ended up looking in the mirror every night until it healed and jacked off to myself because it looked hot…if you catch my drift that is.”
I then just stared at him, wondering why he did what he just did. I mean seriously, I was scared for my life, thought I was going to die and all of a sudden the big bad monster reveals itself to be a harmless caterpillar rapper named Jizzy G.
Not only that but the guard lied to me. I mean if anything, he should at least try and be serious. I know that might sound stupid of me to be angered by the fact that none of this was real or serious except for the lift…but it does make me feel that wasn’t the right thing at all. I mean…it had me going for something, but once the truth was revealed…it had me going in another direction.
I mean I’m breaking into a fucking castle that is supposed to be the most heavily guarded place in Equestria, along with having the two most important princess in the country that have great power and responsibility…and this is the kind of stuff that I get. I mean it might sound stupid that I’m asking for something challenging here…but it’s a big castle and this is what I have to avoid and fight back against…a caterpillar that sucks at rap music?
I mean the guards are supposed to be tough and such and very difficult to get past by, and all I seem to have gotten was a guy eating his own cum. Then again that one nerd guy that met at Celestia’s school one time and Wolf does that…well the nerd did it only once because he was forced to…although that was an odd thing though. That the nerd guy was forced to eat his own cum…I’m not sure what kind of bullies he met…but then again…it is an embarrassing thing to do…so I guess it makes sense.
Although with Wolf he never explains it…I think he just eats cum for the fun of it…but then again that’s just my guess…but I think he might have said something about eating his own cum to clean up the mess he would usually make all the time.
That would make sense…but at the same time Wolf is just that one weird guy that you’re not sure about, but yet you hang out with him anyways. But then again that’s just how it is I suppose…just that…but anyways. After the guard told me that…both me and him heard a loud noise coming from inside the castle.
As in from a number of floors above us and it was a loud bang. In fact…it might have been from TK’s floor at that time when I thought about it.
Once we heard this loud thump while some dust fell from the ceiling and such, the guard asked out of curiosity, “What was that?”
We both looked up at the same time, both shocked and wondering the same thing…what was that sound that was made?
I then said, “I don’t know…that sound like something that came from TK’s floor maybe.”
Then the guard looked at me and asked me, “Who?”
I then told him, “Oh yeah…I forgot and I might as well tell you this to ruin your day even more about being a guard…someone else is breaking into the castle with me and his name is TK and right now he is pretty much on the thirteenth floor by now…or maybe not. I can’t really tell, but I’m guessing he has something going on up there unlike with me and your stupid caterpillar monster thing that is a joke.
'I mean what is wrong with you? You’re supposed to be a guard and protect the princesses at all cost. And what do you do? You fucking eat cum while jacking off to one of the princesses and pretend that this secret basement is a big deal and swear that you have a monster in it that will kill all those who enter try and attempt to break into the castle…but really it’s just a caterpillar that needs a life. How pathetic is that?”
Then the guard said to me, “Well don’t blame me…at least I’m trying instead of being like the other guards and just…standing there…keeping an eye on things…and besides…look who’s talking, you were scared as I saw you through a little hole that I made somewhere you’ll never know about. I mean you were scared and was cowering in fear and looked like you was going to die or something like that. Explain that to me then.”
I then said, “Well at least I have a sense of adventure. I mean adventure, you’ll come across risks and one of these seemed to have been a risk, and every time you go on an adventure or on a difficult task, you will face death every now and then and this was a moment to do it.”
Then the guard said to me, “Are you trying to say that you wanted to be scared and wanted to die?”
I then said to him, “Well obviously not, but at the same time I went on these adventures a lot in the past so I’m kind of expecting something bad to happen where I face death…and end up finding a way out of it as well. But that doesn’t really happen nowadays since everything seems to be about something else…and you’re not helping out at all with your caterpillar…thing that you have down here.”
The guard then said to me, “Well he isn’t mine…like I said before, he’s just a caterpillar that is renting a space inside this secret hidden basement and stuff. I don’t even know him and I tried to make friends with him once…but he said he was going to cut me with the world’s smallest knife…and he did…I have a scar of it…look.”
The guard then raised his left hoof and tried to show me the cut…but I didn’t see a single mark on it. I looked closer and squinted at his arm, but still found nothing whatsoever resembling a scar or a mark from a knife.
I then said to the guard, “I don’t see a single thing on your arm. I mean are you that weak of a guard? How did you even get to be a guard here in the first place?”
The guard just lowered his head in shame and had his right hoof just draw small invisible circles on the ground and said nothing to me.
But after that for a few seconds, he then said while doing what I just described to you not too long ago, “Well I kind of didn’t even applied for this job. All I did was jacked off in a bar somewhere and some random guard made me a guard…honestly if anything it was just a random experiment really.”
When he said the word random. I immediately thought back to Neon. Something about what he had just said made me wonder if Neon had anything to do what just had happened. And maybe I am right. Maybe Neon did have something to do with it.
Maybe he had everything planned out for me and my future and knew exactly what to do. I mean I did mention a few times where Neon was a bit suspicious looking to me and it seemed as if he had something up his sleeve…his coat…that he would have to have a knife and cut through his skin and to get out since he doesn’t wear cloths…whatever, you get the idea.
Well, it joist seemed odd to me is all and stuff that Neon might have something to do with this guard being a guard in the first place. It was random after all. Then again, to this day I still don’t know if it was Neon or not…so really it’s up to anyone to guess if it was him or not and believe it or not.
But really no one cares…do they?
Oh well, anyways, after the guard said what he had said, I then asked him, “And who was this guy that made you a guard?”
He then told me, “Really now that you mention it…I don’t recall…I think he might have done something to me to make me not remember his face. But yeah…I do try and be a guard and all for the princesses though. So really you shouldn’t be that tough with me and…stuff.”
He just looked at me with nervous eyes after he said that to me and I honestly wasn’t sure really what to make out of it and stuff.
Soon, we heard someone else coming and stuff and what did you know, it was that caterpillar guy, who somehow was able to drag a big canister of gas and a blow torch with him on the ground.
So really, this caterpillar was a strong one…so he might as well be a black caterpillar that was a bodybuilder and was a wimp at the same time. Not sure if that made any sense right there to you…but it sure did to me.
Anyways, he came back and we were both looking at him and he then said to me, “Alright man…I’ve got the gasoline and a blowtorch. Just let me do the prep work for you…since you know…I’m a piece of shit and all.”
I then said to him while Jizzy somehow grabbed the canister of gasoline and poured it all over him, “You dam right you’re a piece of shit.”
Soon, after the guard saw what he was seeing, he then asked me, “What…what is going on here? Why is Jizzy G pouring gasoline all over himself as if he was going to kill himself?”
I then said to him, “Oh…I told him he was a piece of shit or something like that and to go burn himself alive, so he’s going to burn himself alive right now...well I think since he said he was doing the prep work for me.”
Soon, Jizzy was finished with doing the prep work and he then said to me, while throwing the gas can a small distance away from him, he said to me, “Well I need you to light me on fire so I can die.”
Soon the guard said to bring in his own input, “Wow…this is depressing in a way…I mean this is sad and depressing when you think about it. I mean I’m not even sure if I want to be here right now."
I then said, “Shut up guard, you’re going to see that guy you’re allowing to rent a spot here in this secret basement burn alive because you can’t seem to do anything right in your life at this point. And why should I care about burning you alive? I told you to kill yourself, nothing about me burning you alive.”
Jizzy then said to me, “Well how do you expect me to burn myself alive if I can't reach the blow torches handle from here? I need you to do it.”
I then said, “I’m not going to kill a caterpillar…guard you do it.”
The guard then said, “What!? I don’t want to do it! You kill him, I’m not the one who told him to go and kill himself.”
I then said to him, “Just kill the fucking caterpillar…besides…you’re the one who put him in this secret basement. Now go ahead and burn him right now…so I don’t have to be here any longer because I would like to move on with the night.”
The guard then said to me, “Alright then…sorry Jizzy G…but if you want this…I’ll do it then.”
The guard said that as he was picking up the blow torch with his left hoof and was ready to kill the caterpillar alive by burning it.
Jizzy G then said to the guard, “Don’t worry about that man…I’m going to go to purgatory anyways…or hell…Neon hell that is and possibly get reincarnated into a cow or something like that…and then I’ll come back for revenge or something like that. But don’t worry about killing me…because you’re going to go to purgatory since you don’t have any friends…well…not really…you’re going to purgatory because you killed an innocent caterpillar…now set fire to me you son of a bitch!”
Then the guard set fire to the caterpillar and he was burning alive while screaming in pain.
However, Jizzy G said his final words while in the flames…and his final words were, “I’m a legit OG mother fucker!”
And then that was the last of Jizzy G…at least what he said he was going to be in…he said he would just end up becoming a cow or something like that. Anyways, the caterpillar’s body slowly burned to a black crisp until the fire went out on its own and once we saw the dead body….it was just a black figure…and crispy too.
Well, after that happened, the guard said to me after putting down the blow torch, “Well then…I’m going to miss him…I mean he didn’t even pay for this month’s rent…but I liked him though. But can I ask you…why did you have to say those things to him to make him go and kill himself? That sounded kind of mean and depressing and stuff.”
I then told him, “Well, what do you expect? I mean he was a talking caterpillar that was a bad rapper and wasn’t going to go anywhere in life…so something needed to be done.”
He then told me, “Well…I guess you’re right. But why did it need to be death by fire and slowly dying instead of an explosion at an abandoned building or something like that?”
I then told him, “Well that obviously would take a while to do and it was easier to burn him alive…anyways…what’s that behind you?”
The guard’s head soon turned around to look at what I was saying, but of course it was a distraction to which he said, “What is behind me?”
I then went up to him quickly and snapped his neck because of what he had did to me and he was annoying. But don’t worry…he would come back as another living thing…if he was Hindu that is…maybe he’ll come back as a plant and some pony that has a tree fetish like Fluttershy or something will fuck it…maybe even put a condom around the branches or something like that.
After words, I looked through the guard’s pockets and found the key to the lift. I then said to myself, “Here’s the key to the lift…I think anyways…since he lied to me about this place.”
I then started to work over to the lift that was supposed to bring me up to the second floor…and into a broom closet I think.
While walking, I then contacted TK thought that little headset and asked him first, “Hey TK…are you there?”
Nothing…I didn’t hear any response from him at all.
I then asked again, “Hey TK…can you hear me?”
Still, all I heard was silence.
I asked one more time, “TK…are you still alive up there buddy? TK?”
Still nothing came from the other end. I then said to myself as I headed to the lift, “I hope you’re alright TK…or else I might just be screwed and die myself next.”
But that was my fun time in the basement…the secret basement that is at the time.
TK:
All righty then…onwards to TK’s part! What? I mean I am doing this to break it up and have a bit of change of pace you know? Like…show each other’s point of view, my point of view and TK’s point of view…I mean this is my journal after all…I can do what I want with it so really I don’t need to listen to those who have lost their cows and those who took those cows…cow tippers. But you know…perhaps I have a change of heart and perhaps could just separate this part of my life and reduce it and put words in it that no one and I do mean no one has ever heard before, but yet it’s a big fancy word that people would still feel make the story of my life feel better despite them not knowing anything about the said word.
Sure they could just look it up, but then again they would just be taking a few minutes of stopping to look up the word that they most likely will never use again. And perhaps I have a change of heart to where I could describe every little thing that I come across and write five hundred pages of that thing, say like a pair of women’s underwear and how it has a little blood stain on it.
Well perhaps I should start and do that and describe said woman’s underwear that has a blood stain on it for the next five hundred pages, because that would make the story of my life even better and make this journal priceless.
Better yet, since I have a change of heart, maybe I should condense my story, into just a few episodes or chapters…we can forget those picky sons of bitches out there who can’t stand to hear certain words be said. Well, I could reduce the size of each and every chapter into say thirty chapters, and obviously in the story of my life, that would be so great and it would be the perfect size and fit for everything that I have done in my life.
It obviously makes sense to do that since I have so much in my life to write. In fact, since I will have such a change of heart…I could write my entire life story and make this story to wear it’s politically correct and make changes to things to where things aren’t that crazy and say that a soul got transferred into a robot is silly.
That and not even use cuss words despite it is how it happened and also include several things that is realistic to the reality of you humans and have relatable characters because then you’ll like it because you can relate to them despite having relations having very little reason to even like the story of my life in the first place.
Or I could just do instead is not give a dam about you cow tippers and those who cry about you missing cows and not change a single god dam thing about how the story of my life should be and not change things so all of you can relate to it or not hurt anyone’s feelings…because if I would do that, then I would just be no better than you humans and erasing the past there will forever be there in spirit.
Well…I hope I got my point across but I suppose the cow tippers still need a little work though…they do have thick skulls and small minds, but sooner or later if I break into their thick skulls, those minds should be as plump as a…fat chicken with diabetes and says the words diabetes a lot while shaving a mustache off a wrestler every Tuesday morning on a rainy day. Well I’m sure those types of chickens exist…and the ones that sing acapella while doing the shaving are even better. Well…aside from that point, where was I? Or yes...TK’s next part in his story. Now where did his part leave off…I somewhat forgot. Perhaps it had something to do with going out the window.
Actually that was what he was doing when I left off the part for his point of view of things. Well, no matter…we shall continue to go on and tell his part of the story of when we broke into the castle…but not really though.
I mean…I will…just…that’s not the entire story in this part of my life. Well whatever, last time when we left off, TK had just finished clearing out the eleventh floor which only three guards and had only had rooms that were simple.
For example, a guest room or a broom closet of some kind. It was just the typical rooms on that floor and nothing special about them.
Nothing about the color, the beds, the chairs, the carpets…not a single thing was special about them despite it being a room in Cantorlot castle. But when you think about it…it’s just a room.
Sure what might be inside the room might special to someone if to say that someone is poor, the in which case yeah it would be special.
But to me…it wasn’t special…but then again it was TK who did such a thing and saw the rooms when he did look through the rooms.
However all I did was go outside the universe and looked into the past and saw what happened when I wasn’t there.
What? I thought you guys all knew I wasn’t there in the first place. I mean I’m sure I mentioned at least once…or twice…maybe even trice…but then again cow tippers usually don’t have a very good memory. That must explain why they have very tiny brains and why they only tip cows while banging the floors that goes near the cow’s asshole.
It makes perfect sense to me now…well not really…what is still confusing to me is why don’t the cow tippers just fuck a donkey instead…they do that all the time in South America or somewhere like that…so why not the cow tippers. They seem to always love cows…or donkeys.
They want to bang and shake that booty all night long if you know what I mean. Well, TK went out the window from where he entered in the first place on the eleventh floor. Of course, obviously he got the claws out since he still had the power or energy in this case I suppose.
I mean honestly I’m not sure the souls he eats gives him the power or energy. Then again power and energy is kind of the same thing but at the same time not really. I mean with energy, it’s all about not getting tired and weak. With power, it’s all about having the strength, but if you lose the power, then you’re not weak, you just don’t have that said power…that’s how I think it goes anyways. I mean I'm not sure…I’m not a scientist…kind of…but not really.
I mean I do science things sometimes. I mean I do research a few things…but I’m not the expert in what is defined as what and such…honestly if you ask me it sounds too much of a hassle to look very deep and investigate into a single word and figure out the meaning of that word. Why not just know the definition and move on?
Then again cow tippers are complicated…especially in a relationship. But anyways…I think it would be TK’s powers, so let’s go with that. Besides, I never really went into that much detail about him after he became the devil. In fact…I didn’t give much detail about TK being the devil at all other than him being the devil. As I recall, my mind went blank when I tried to continue his back story…but I suppose where his back story ended is where his life of being free started, as his life isn’t really in my control…only his back story is.
So really my creation is all but a mystery to me. Who he is underneath that helmet, does he have a heart, what does he think and feel.
Then again the most important question is does he even have a soul in there? In fact, does any creation that anyone thinks up and creates have a soul? Or is that creation just merely a lifeless puppet that anyone can control with a simple mind?
Now that I think that up…I’m not really sure, but that’s the fun part of it all…it’s all up to the single person or living being to decide what that answer is and believe in it, for the answer may never come to light at all. So really all one can do is believe in what he or she wants to believe. And you know what I believe…the creator of TK…the one that I met in my life…you know what I think about what he thinks and feels?
I’m not so sure…I just draw a blank in my mind. But for his soul…I think…I think he has a soul somewhere in there. I mean he was once a puppet, but now the strings have been cut and now he has no strings on him and he is now free. Now he may do whatever he pleases since I never continued his story because I never killed him off in the story…his soul…I never killed off his soul of the creations.
And so…in a way…the way he acts and the way he feels…I suppose you could say I have created a monster in my own image. It’s kind of like playing god in a way…no…it is just like playing god.
Because that is why TK doesn’t wants to kill me…because to him…I am his god. I have created him and gave him life…birthed a universe through my mind like so many others have. And while playing god can be quite dangerous, in fact it can be catastrophic in a way if not too careful in such creations like Dr. Frankenstein did when he made his monster…it could end up stabbing me in the back if I don’t have an off switch to my creations. But then again I’m no god, I only created him out of feelings and emotions in my mind, thoughts and desires, fears and worries…but in truth I’m not sure why I even created him.
I have no clue, for all I know, he could have been created for a purpose to escape or where I just got bored with life and wanted something different from any other hero. Perhaps I wanted a hero of my own, something that I would feel protected from the monsters of the night that come out to get me…to protect me from all the monsters in the world that I once lived in.
But perhaps I didn’t want any hero…not the typical hero that would be known as a hero throughout the city and become celebrated. Not a hero that is a billionaire and uses his charm and money to fight against all that is evil. Not a hero that would be an alien or considered to be a god. Not even a hero that stands for a country and fights to protect that country. No…perhaps I wanted my own hero that would be nothing like those others. Perhaps…or perhaps not…I’m not so sure on that answer for I don’t recall that night at all…for all I know it could have slipped my mine or amnesia or something like that.
Then again…to me TK isn’t a monster, he is something more…strong, better, confident, unbreakable, smart, faster…that is what he is in a sense. And to him…I am his god…and like I said, I’m no god at all. I’m just a living thing that ended up outside of the universe and have come across dangers and sights to see with my own eye.
But I’m no more than a simple, but yet complex living thing…perhaps that is…because even I’m not too sure of who I am. In fact, that bares the question doesn’t it? Who is my god? Well who created me then would be the answer? But the question is…who really is my god? Did someone created me in their own mind or am I truly have free will over my actions? Am I a puppet or are there no strings on me?
Or perhaps I had once strings, but there are none on me. I’m not sure what that answer might be, it is a question that is interesting in a sense and would be somewhat exciting to know…but do I really want to know who my god is? Who created me and for what purpose? Perhaps it is better to not know who our gods are, but to instead just live and wait and see if my god even cares to show up.
Or perhaps I’m a god of my own…who knows right? But then again…if I am my own god…then that would just be too boring and scary for me at the same time to even care for about for that would be pointless. Oh look, how much I have gotten off track..but then as TK has said to me before in the past…especially on that train, that’s just how I am or my weakness I suppose. But then again, you can’t fix me and how I think and write out my life in a journal…while on a phoenix…you’ll never take me alive…police. Sorry…I just had to get that part out…too tempting to say it or in this case write it down for all to read. Oh well, then again it did bring up a decent point at least…all it did was lead from one thing to another in an odd way, but yet at the same time brought up a lot of unanswered questions.
Oh well, as I was saying before, TK had his claws out and ready to go and jumped out the window he came from. Now, how he did that was just jump from the ledge and just quickly cling to a wall and go from there as usual. When he had a nice could grip once his claws punched a hole through the wall, along with him having his balance of course, he looked up to see how much he needed to climb to reach the twelfth floor. When he did, all he did was see the usual design for the outside of the castle, nothing special at all, but once he saw how far he needed to climb, it wasn’t too much of a climb, since it was just a floor above the castle is all.
I mean it shouldn’t have been the length of a tower, just a short climb. Once TK had confirmed the distance he needed to travel, most likely in his helmet he did all the calculations and such, he started to resume his climbing pattern. And of course you all know what it is, it’s simple, right hoof, left hoof, right hoof, left hoof, right hoof, left hoof. I mean it's so simple...it's as if it could be turned into a Randy Newman song...oh wait...oh god please no.
I hope Randy never ever does that now that I mention it...like he just knows about what I'm writing right now and such. Although...at the time, I really wasn't sure what happened to good ol' Randy though. I mean I knew he was still alive...but wasn't sure what exactly happened to him though. Along with the fact that as of right now, when I'm writing this in my journal...I'm not sure even now what has happened to him.
He just...disappeared...that or maybe got eaten by a giant rhino or something in the sky. In fact...that's possibly what happened to him...he just got into a giant air balloon one day, brought along with him his piano and started to sing a song about a child seeing his parents get eaten alive...while eating his parents alive at the same time...and then a giant black rhino in the sky with evil red eyes went up to Randy and ate him whole. Chances are that's possibly what happened to him.
Anyways, TK was climbing as usual and well you should know by now because I'm sure who ever reads this isn't a kid in the first grade...because if that was the case...then I would have to change my writing to a style to fit a first grader.
In which case I would write about the birds and the bees...because that's a good lesson to start off with a kid in life. Anyways, TK climbed towards the next floor that he needed to go in order to continue to search for the floor with the elevator and such. As he was climbing, and I should point this out before any SJW's come out and start complaining...wait a minute...they wouldn't complain about this part if I didn't explain.
Silly me...I forgot....they complain about everything else. Actually, I take that back...they would maybe complain about what I'm about to say next. TK was climbing the walls without making a sound, since he is smart and somewhat the devil, to not draw attention his way. Although I suppose no one would question about the holes that would be left from the claws that would be left there. Well, now that I recall correctly, they weren't really visible either.
But anyways, I had to mention that or else Cow tippers and maybe SJW's would complain about that part not being explained...because they will either complain how I didn't explain that part and make some kind of plot hole or a black hole in the story...for the cow tippers. For the SJW's...they would complain how the walls don't have their equality and stuff...or that what TK was doing was racist towards walls and such. Or perhaps SJW's are just very sensitive towards walls...maybe that's why they can never be quiet and they always have to be outdoors and complain a lot.
It makes perfect sense to me when I think about it of course. Anyways, as I was saying TK was climbing without making a sound...obviously, but then again I'm not sure who would hear any sound he could make at that height...since he was halfway there to getting from the eleventh floor to the floor above.
Well, as he was doing so, he was almost there and only needed a few more climbs to get there...about three if I had to guess since it wasn't a couple for sure. Well, just as about he was going to get to his destination...his left claw retracted into himself...inside...for he was losing power and needed more souls or something like that.
When this happened, it was a surprise to TK and as soon as the claws went away from his left hoof, he was dangling only by his right hood. So really he was in a position like every position that an adventure would get into where he or she is dangling only from one end, usually at the end of a cliff or something like that.
Granted we were somewhat adventures...but then again not that type of those adventures. But then again it didn't really matter because...who honestly gives a fuck about what type is what? Then again I suppose if I don't...those Cow Tippers will end up teaming up with the SJW's and start a revolution or something...so I suppose I should at least give an example.
Well, you have the types who we were...just simple people who went on an adventure whenever they did. Then you have those who find it to have a rush into their lives, to seek for a meaning for their lives and to have that spirit in them as if they were alive inside. Then you have those types of adventures that think that going to Disney World or visiting London is considered to be an adventure.
Same thing for those who think going down a zip line somewhere in the jungles of South America is also an adventure. With those types of people...I like to call them The Safety Loners...because they are most likely lonely and they want to play everything safe.
Then again everyone has their own cup of tea when it comes to basically everything...but still going to Disney World with your family and riding Space Mountain doesn't count as an adventure...or visiting through the countries in Epcot...if that is still there that is. Then you also have the types that kind of do it for a living. Then you have adventures that do it because it's all they know or to save some sort of history or something like that. Then you have those evil type of adventures that do it for greed or something like that.
But I suppose that should win you over Cow Tippers...makes sense anyways...about something. Anyways, as I was saying, TK was holding on to the one hoof, his right before you people start to throw acorns at each other...because you're going nuts...sorry...and the claws and on his right hoof was about to go away too...at least from what he told me that is...because with TK you can't really get a lot of information out of him too much unless it is needed.
Anyways, he was basically at a point where he would be screwed if he didn't do anything quickly and he was so close to the next floor, so of course he needed to think of something quick and easy to do without drawing attention to him towards the guards.
So...as far as I know, in TK's little helmet of his that I made up for him, I'm willing to bet that he was looking at his surroundings and judging the best way to execute a quick move to get to the next floor so he doesn't make any noise or have to start at the bottom again. I mean if anything that would make things worse for tonight...obviously.
But you know...it isn't as bad as having a dick that is made out of rubber and oddly stretches out and comes to eye level...to which it then proceeded to skull fuck you through your eye balls...as you scream out in pain and agony. And it's not as bad as having a split personality and being raped by that split personality...or it isn't as bad as raping yourself...or taking turns raping yourself...or having a kid named Billy raping the president for the seventh time...and Billy is a four year old. You know...it isn't as bad as those things that I said...especially not as bad as you slowly pour acid all over your face while a fox comes in and starts to rape you while jacking off...and you enjoy it as you think of the Barney song and start to think that's one sexy purple dinosaur and you think about slowly having a threesome with a stack of waffles and bacon on the side to run up and down Barney's cock and make it hurt.
Yeah...it's not as bad as that...at least...but of course TK needed to get out still, through he did the only thing that he could do as being the devil and being low on souls...he positioned his back legs on the wall and kept them steady and balanced.
Then...as just about his right claws was about to retract inside of him...or where ever they came from...he did a pretty awesome leap towards the window that was above him and once he did that he...he was on the next floor...but of course that's not all obviously...I mean...this is somewhat reality...you don't just go one place and go to another in a split of a second without consequences for your actions.
I mean sure, I might have found the outside of the universe and been to others where laws of physics and such may or may not apply, but that doesn't mean some sort of rules exist. In this My Little Pony universe...rules exist and that's how it is really.
Anyways, the window that TK jumped through when he leapt through it was open, for there are glass to those windows...it was just open is all. Well, standing by that window was a guard...that was generic and had nothing special about him in any way whatsoever. And chances are he wasn't loved nor had a life. He didn't have a wife or some kin to carry on his legacy as a guard. Chances are he was the loneliest guard there ever was. And perhaps he was...I'm not sure because I didn't see him that day, TK did.
And whatever TK saw through his helmet that day and all the information he could have known, since his helmet pretty much looks into his mind and memories, only he knows what kind guard he was. Besides...I made TK that way you know...to almost always know...almost that is. So perhaps, he was a guard that was the loneliest guard around the kingdom. Perhaps he had no friends, no family, no pets, absolutely nothing but himself. And perhaps that would just make him go crazy being on his own like that. Perhaps that is why he was standing perfectly still by the window...being on duty and on the job, but yet not moving or caring or showing any emotions whatsoever...as he was just insane. Perhaps he was just as much insane to be by the window. Maybe that is why he was standing by that window.
Maybe he was so lonely he only wanted to embrace death and saw him as his only hope and friend...even if it was a false hope in his life...he just wanted the sweet taste of death to hit him. Sure he may be scared to face death and wondering what he would see on the other side of it all...but maybe...just maybe...he was ready to go. All he needed was a little push and someone to pull him out that window. And you know what...that is what TK did to him, as he leapt through the window.
He grabbed the guard by the back and with all of his might, as he was going through the window, he pulled him back to where he would hit the ground and die. Sure, that would be contradicting as to what TK said earlier, but like I said, he's the only one who knows what he saw about this guard...and not only that, but he didn't scream when he fell. Now then that would make him very insane not to scream to your own death or wimping in fear. But maybe he was waiting for something like that to happen to him, where he would be taken away towards death and hoped someone would just push him out the window.
Or perhaps he would accidently fall backwards out the window. And this only raises the question...what did he see that was his last things to see? Well, if I had to guess...the night sky with all the stars out high and bright, twinkling away as they dance in the night sky. In fact, that would be a way to die wouldn't it?
Just sit there and look at the night sky and just...die. And the last thing you would see would be the beautiful night sky with the stars out so bright. But, perhaps there is more to that guard's story. Perhaps he wanted death more than anything in the world...and TK was there to give what he wanted.
And maybe TK was smart about it too, knowing what he knew about him through what he saw in his helmet and thinking that he would not make a single sound as he would fall to his own death with a smile on his face. He was insane after all...perhaps even more than I am. But then again, that's the thing with insanity...no one is sure who is more insane without making it into a competition. And honestly...insanity is a beautiful thing sometimes. It's a painting made by Van Gough...it may not be well received at first...but later you appreciate it. Or perhaps that was not this guard's life case.
Maybe he was a vile pony, someone that would rape a child under a bridge or murder a family in their sleep with an ax and walk away from it all as if it was nothing. Maybe he was that type of pony that would be so bad and vile as to what he did for a living. I'm not sure...whatever TK saw in his little helmet of his that day, only he would know. But if I had to bet which one was is right...perhaps he was just very lonely and had thought about death for many years and just then he had caught his lucky break and someone made the choice for him. But that's what I think though.
After TK had pushed the guard out of the way, he was finally on the next floor that he needed to be on at that very moment. And of course, if you still have imagination, which I doubt because when I left Earth, shit was going downhill so I'm not too sure on if imagination is actually a thing or not anymore...and I'm not talking about the fake kind either. Well, what I'm trying to say is the way I saw with how I know about this...TK looked like a badass doing what I just described to you about him pushing the guard through the window and jumping through the window at the same time.
As if...he's the ultimate badass that deserves to be on almost everything...and then either Disney or Warner Bros. will put it on a bunch of merchandise and everything will become annoying after three months of it being on store shelves. Just the cycle of marketing...or you know....you could just let it go...let it all go and burn it to ashes...or send it to space where a team of space pirates will try and make old music out of it and make it relevant again and then everyone thinks it's the best thing ever...something like that. Then again, now that I think about it, when TK did that thing that I described, it makes me think for a bit that it's not that he did it in a cool style...in a way he is a god...although I'm not sure if I did mention it before...and if so...well don't blame it on me, blame it on...my very odd, but yet ok mind that I have...for not remembering it...but I do believe that TK is a god. In a way, all three of us are gods in some sort of way.
Factory Dash is the god of her factory, could be seen as a god in her universe, while TK is a god of Hell...at least in his universe that is, while I'm a god in my own way through the creations that I have made. It's funny really when I think about it just right now, all of us three beings gods and fighting beside each other many times in the past. Sure I know it may not be the best of all times to bring it up now, but still...it is quite funny to me. So funny...kind of puts a smile on my face and makes me wonder why?
Why is it like that and why do I like it so much? As in...why do I like what I like aside from bringing joy? And that...I have no fucking clue so let's actually move on. Well, as TK did that cool thing...or at least what I consider it...there is a connotation and denotation to every word humans...I'm sure you know of that...unless of course your imagination limits that too...well...once he did that and went through the window, he didn't expect to see that the guard he took out also had two other guards beside him and once TK stepped through that window, the guards on both side of him looked towards him in an alert position. I mean...when you hear or see something like that happen in the corner of your eye...obviously you're going to be alert.
Speaking of which...as I recall I've always seem to see something in the corner of my eye at times in the past...it is scary sometimes...in fact, now that I think about it all...you're not really sure what you see when you look at the corner of your eye. I mean something could be there...and I kind of feel sometimes that something move, but when I take a good look at it...it was just my imagination...in fact I recall getting like that a lot back on Earth...even now...so it kind of makes me really alert...scared actually....I mean you could look at the corner of your right now and you may or may not see something...I mean go ahead do it right now...but then again you're human...and in a sense...I'm not really the one with all that I've been through the past.
So really, I suppose it's ok for me to be scared as to what I see in the corner of my eyes...especially when it's the monsters at night...possibly the devil too. But then again...maybe TK is the monster...he is a monster...he is the devil...literally...but is he my monster or my devil? I've always seemed to ask myself that sometimes in my own head...who's my devil and who's my god?
Not sure really when you think about it as a whole...but anyways...the guards took a step back in surprise from TK being in the corner of their eyes...like I said it was obvious. Although the guards acted a bit scared though, so really it was more of them being scared then being surprised is all. I mean...does it fucking matter? I mean it's just the two guards being scared...or surprised...at the same time...kind of but not really though.
I mean I can already tell a lot of cow fuckers, which by the way cow fuckers are those types of people that makes love to cows by fucking one while they complain about the tiniest things that they see on the internet...in other words SJW...again....and politically correct people...and soccer moms...but mostly the Jews...and Asians...Asian Jews is really the key term here.
But don't worry...Jew Hitler will make it all better...all he needs is to create his own cooking show called eating black cats...what...you never heard of it? Well it's the best thing that Jew Hitler ever made...you see...what he does is first is take a black cat and hold it up to a some kind of saw. He prefers the manual one where you have to use your hand...a real dull one too...and then he cuts open the cat alive and pins him down with a bunch of butcher knives he got from a crack addict one day behind a Best Buy.
And he also got the saws from a parking light at an Arby's...and he killed a bunch of people there too. Next thing he does is he slowly take out the meat and puts it into a lovely cake and puts it in the oven for fifty minutes...and once it's done he serves it to the kids he ties down in his basement and pretends that he is throwing a birthday party for little Jimmy...that he gouged his eyes out with a spoon five years ago.
But don't worry...little Jimmy has some nice rats in his eye sockets to play with and to help him see.
And with the cat...he kills it off by bashing it's head in with a shovel and gives the remains as a gift to his dead wife's skeleton that he keeps in his closet every Christmas. It's honestly a brilliant show...you could find it on DVD at your local Dollar Store...oh and this is of course an alternate universe of a Hitler universe where Jew Hitler is the bigger brother of regular Hitler.
So if you want to get the DVD you have to go buy it at Bed, bath, and Beyond instead at the Dollar Store...they have everything there. Even the Beyond section...if you know what I mean that is. Well anyways, Jew Hitler will help you out cow fuckers...and if you're good, he'll serve you some of his delicious black cat cake to you...while force feeding it through your liver...connected through a store that goes through your spine.
Anyway, the guards stumbled backwards and even one of the guards, I'm not sure which one since they all look the same to me, fell on to the floor, having his heart race since it surprised him.
Well, the one guard that didn't fall on to the floor said while looking like the strong one in this situation here said to TK with an angered look, "Hold it right there! You're under..."
However, TK cut him off by directly running up to him and using his right hoof to directly punch him in his jaw. When his hoofs made contact with his jaw, a few teeth came out while some drops of blood came out also as he fell to the floor and was instantly knocked out. The guard that was on the floor looked in fear as he saw his fellow comrade fall to the intruder...being TK that he is...and he looked back at TK with fright in his eyes. He then started to crawl backwards slowly, trying to get away from TK.
He then said while trying to keep himself calm and under control, "P-Please....don't hurt me....I-I'll do whatever you say...ju-just please don't kill me...I have a family."
TK then said to him, "First, I didn't kill him, I only knocked him out. If I wanted to kill you or him, I would have done something more worse than that. Second of all...all those that I have killed in the past had families...so in the end...I don't give a fuck as long as you're not in my way. So...I'm guessing you're going to be the rare ones that I come across and not say a single word to anyone what happened here?"
The guard then just silently nodded at TK...still being very scared and such.
TK then asked him, "Are there others on this floor that I should know about?"
The guard then slowly raised his left hoof and he pointed behind himself. Behind him was a door that led to a little room with a table inside, where four more guards were at, playing poker. Nothing special inside other than a light and a fridge to keep whatever drinks that they may have thought to bring with them while on the drop.
The guard or at least the nice guard, said to TK, "There are four guards..."
TK then cuts him off and he then said, "I already know."
The guard looked confused for a moment and then asked TK once he tried to think of how he already knew and such.
He asked him, "Wait...how do you know? I didn't..."
TK proceeded to cut him off again and told him, "I can see through the walls through this helmet sometimes, granted not too far, but not too close. I can see those guards playing poker in there...and it looks like one of them have a straight Aces, so that guard will more than likely win all that had been betted on before their game started. So he will have exactly three hundred and fourteen bits and show off to those who had lost.
Unless of course one of the guards pulls out a knife, which one has on them and quickly stabs the winner in the heart out of rage that he had lost. But more than likely, that's not going to happen, so really in the end, the best thing I can do is break that door down and take them down all at once, while not killing them of course. However, thankfully these floors are a bit soundproof, so a little explosion cannot be heard what I choose to do so. However, there is still that possibility where the guard will take out his knife and kill those guards in there and mostly likely will try his best to cover it up as if it never happened at all or it was some kind of accident." As TK was talking, the guard was just sitting there, having his jaw slowly fall to the ground as he heard these words come From TK. He was somewhat astonished by what TK knew and what he had said. To him, it was as if he was an expert, a wise man or pony in this case, a pony that should be trusted. Almost like a god...ok that would be going a bit too far, but still it would be as if he was some sort of god to him.
Someone who has advice and what he should take from it and such to apply it to his own life. I mean it is true that TK was smart and knew very much...along with being the Devil, so really he was a god and all, so obviously that the guard had a right to have his jaw drop to the floor like that.
However, since he was the weakling, it's no surprise that he would be surprised like that and have his jaw drop slowly to the ground as he was the one who begged for his own life instead of the others that tried to fight back and such. Anyways, once TK stopped talking and the guard was shocked, he went over to the door way and used his left hoof to grab something from his hip area...like a utility belt...which he somewhat had, but it was hidden...like camouflaged...it was because it was the color black and shit like that.
Anyways, he grabbed something out of it and placed a sphere, a small sized one and it was a bit sticky, to where he placed it on the door.
To which he then used his left hoof and pressed a red blinking light on it that was flashing in the middle of the sphere, to which it stopped blinking. Soon, TK started to walk backwards to the farthest wall across from the door.
It was a good thirty feet or so of a gap, to which he then started to run towards the door and soon he leapt into the air and once he was close enough to the door, possibly five to ten feet or so, the sphere turned green and possibly on a timer or something like that, not so sure since TK has his secrets too.
Well, once the sphere had a green light on it, the door exploded, breaking and causing debris into the next room and knocking out the guards that were being lazy and playing a game of poker in the small room.
Now, as for what was happening in the small room right before TK made the door explode and knocking them all out, the four stallions inside were all playing poker inside, as to what TK said, he was right as to how much was betted and such.
Not only that, but one of them had a knife and it was the one that had a scar on his left eye from a fight that happened in the past...I guess.
Well, soon, one of the lucky guards, one with a black mane that had a smirk on his face and soon laid all of his cards flat down on the table and said with a smile and a tone of sorts, "All aces...it looks like I win again boys."
Once he said that, the one with the scar on his left eye looked a bit intimated and had an urge to grab that knife...but before a simple decision could have been made, the door exploded wide open and debris of wood knocked out the one guard who had all aces. The two that was sitting next to the guard who had all aces were the two other stallions that did not have any particular detail about them to give them a description about them. Those two were knocked out as well from the blast, not only to mention they flew back from the force of the small bomb and was thrown near the back wall of the room. The one left standing of course was the one with the scar on his left eye.
When the door exploded, he covered his face with his left hoof to make sure nothing would get into his eyes or hit him in his face. Once he knew it was safe, he slowly lowered his left hoof and looked all around him to see what kind of chaos had happened and thought what kind of madness would happen next.
He then looked towards where the door used to be to see what had happened, to which he then saw TK slowly rise from the rubble that he had created as the debris that had landed on his back when he busted through the door was falling off; he slowly rose up from the mess and slowly brought his attention to the guard was still standing. The guard with the scar was shocked to see what he saw, but before he knew it, he was knocked out cold, as TK went straight for the guard once he recovered from what he had did. The guard landed backwards from his chair and was out cold.
Soon, what TK had done was from jump from the debris he was standing on and hit directly at his head. After he had hit him, he had soon landed on the ground perfectly without a mistake. Once he was done with the room, he slowly got back up and started to walk across the rubble and back to the guard that he didn't knock out.
TK then looked at him and said to him, "Not a word."
He then proceeded to the thing that he did once on the pervious floor and used those micro bots again to get a good idea of what was on the floor. When he did that, the guard that was the weak one was surprised again as to what TK could do. He had not seen anything like it before, since most of the technology wasn't too advance like what TK had.
However, to my knowledge, he knew of something similar like that being developed...at least as to what he had heard that is. As soon as the bots returned to him, he looked into his helmet to see what kind of data he had.
He then said to himself, "I see...there is something on this floor, but I cannot make out what it is."
TK then looked at the guard, to which he then asked him, "Do you know of where the elevator is at?"
The guard then quietly shook his head no for a few seconds, to which he then replied with, "I'm sorry...but the elevator that you're talking about is the one that only the highest of all ranking guards doesn't even know about."
TK then asked him, "So I'm guessing the elevator to the room with all the files on everyone in Equestria is a secret I assume?"
The guard then said, "Not really. Of course it's not a secret that it exists...but the elevator is not known on where it is in this castle. And even if you did find it, you would need to get it working because it only works with a magic spell. At least that's how the rumor goes that is. honestly it could be just a simple button press, but as far as I heard from some of the other guards, you need to have powerful magic. Just about as powerful as the Princesses have...but then again...I don't really know."
TK then said, "I'll figure it out when I see it. But for now...do you know of anything that is on this floor right now that could possibly be what I am looking for?"
The guard then said, "Not that I am aware of...but we did hear a strange noise a few hours earlier, but we just thought it was some kind of rodent running inside the walls, so we just didn't think nothing of it."
TK then said, "I see...I'm going to investigate what this thing is that I'm picking up, so stay here. And if any other guard comes up here, just tell them that they started to fight, and you weren't part of it. But keep in mind that lie may not work, so come up with a better one if you can."
Soon, TK started to walk towards to what he had picked up, which was a room on the left side of the floor...or in others words, on the left side of the rectangle since this is another floor that was like the previous floor.
Soon, TK walked through the door, the only door on the left side of the floor. It was a simple wooden door with simple wooden paneling's with a simple looking knob. The door, however, was unlocked and was a tad bit opened. From what he could see through the cracks...there was some sort of a bright light inside. In which case, he then opened up the door and walked on through.
Soon, everything was bright around him until a few seconds later, everything started to dim down a little each second until he could see what his environment he was surrounded by. And his environment...a 1940's style party, with dancers, singers, liquor and such. A dancing floor for all the couples.
Some wore military uniforms, others is tuxedos, some just dressed in a simple vest or a suit and tie. At least for the men that is. For the women, all had beautiful dresses and gowns on. Some dolled up to look pretty for their men, others didn't even care and tried to be free and let loose while having a good time.
Some were out to find love while others came as a couple, a married couple. A bar was filled with drinkers and gamblers alike with bartenders wearing white suits and putting a smile on their faces as they served the drinks in glass of pure crystal.
And maybe some crystal meth in there or maybe not. Some around were bodyguards, to make sure nothing went wrong and such. Those at this part were mob, gangsters, movie stars, high school defectors, pretty much all the walk of life was in this party.
And on stage, a section dedicated to the band that played in tune with the singer, a young women who had a pretty little voice and singed a song of love out of her heart. She said words while the band played their violins, trumpets, and any other instrument that you could think of, as the stage was at a decent height off the floor as the curtains that would frame the stage had a nice color blue added to it all. The entire room also had a dim light to it too while in some areas, mostly the edges of the room had tables of exquisite design, covered with a white cloth and a candle stick in the middle for those who surrounded the table to see each other across the table without a struggle.
And TK was in the middle of the dance floor, looking around is surroundings, wondering what had just happened to him and what would happen next. To TK, this was odd to him, what kind of door led him to a place like this? In fact, these were all humans, not even ponies...and he was just in Equestria in Cantorlot castle, that was mostly filled with ponies inside not too long ago.
Even TK was once again in his human form, as tall as he was and intimidating. And of course, as I do guess, I'm sure TK was interested to know what was going on.
TK didn't show any fear or regret as he looked around to get a good glimpse as to what kind of world he was in. However, after he caught sight to what he was getting into, the dancers on the dance floor, the couples that were holding hands and looking into each other's eyes as they danced to a tune of love started to look at TK.
However not in fear or confusion...but with a smile on their faces and they looked friendly as well.
One couple passed TK as they were dancing passed him said, the female of course, as she had a smile on her face, "Thank you very much Knight."
Then another couple passed as well as dancing at the same time, this time it was a male who had said it, "Congratulations Knight!"
Another couple that was doing a little waltz and the husband went up to TK and said to him when he was near him, "Have a drink at the bar, it's on me!"
TK didn't say a single word to what he saw, all he was doing as I guess was thinking about what he was seeing, and I'm guessing it wasn't anything good that could come from this place.
Soon, a woman in a loose dress walked up to TK that had a pretty blonde look with a martini in one hand and said to TK as she placed the free hand around his back to him, "Come on TK darling, let loose and have a little fun. It's a night to celebrate your accomplishments and to honor you. Escort me to the bar and you can buy me a drink...and maybe you can take me to bed."
She said those lasts words with a smirk on her face, but TK was not amused, nor did he show any emotion at all to what she had just said.
He then said, "Fuck Off."
The woman put her head a little backwards in response, but didn't lose her smile, nor her spirit towards TK.
She then said to TK, "Well then, I do like a little naughty boy when I sleep with men. Just to think my friends didn't think I wouldn't like you one bit, but here I am, here and right now in front of you thinking how fun and sexy that is to me. Come...we can retire to a little room at a hotel nearby and you can talk dirty to me all you want all night long."
TK then stared at her as she looked at him seductively. Soon TK, who was in human form I remind you, because you know...cow tippers...quickly took a black hand gun from his left side and shot three bullets directly in the woman's face. In fact, it was directly into her head.
As TK's shots were precise, it blew three fourth's of her head off as blood spilled everywhere, along with the fact that the hand gun that TK used was one of his own creations. It was a strong bullet that he had with it...you could say it was the devil's bullet that killed that woman.
However, after the blood splattered on to TK's body and the body fell to the ground, mostly without a head, TK looked around and no one seemed to have paid attention to what he had just done to the poor woman. They all continued to smile and dance or have a good time at the bar or talk to their friends or lovers about whatever.
Of course at this point, I would think TK would have gotten the idea that this wasn't a usual place that he would be at. And son, as TK was just about to say something to himself, the lights in the room, all of them, started to dim down even more as the lights on the stage became bright, as something was about to happen.
The song had stopped and everyone had clapped, except for TK of course, and they applauded the singer on the stage. The singer of course took a bow and smiled and waved to all who loved her song. And soon she quietly stepped aside and a fat man in a tuxedo soon walked on to the stage who had looked to be over fifty years old, but still a little black color in his hair however.
He took the stage and went up to the microphone with a smile. He said to the entire audience, "Hello and welcome ladies and gentlemen. I am so glad that all of you came out here tonight for tonight's party. And I'm sure, our guest TK is also very happy to see you all here. Isn't that right TK?! We are all here to welcome and congratulate you tonight on your work and effort!"
Soon the man on the microphone had his eyes on TK along with pointing at him. Soon the spotlight turned on to TK and soon all eyes were on him. As TK was looking into the blinding light, perhaps to figure out who was controlling it, all clapped for him for what he has done in his past...which all it was just murdering and killing, but for a decent cause though...at least in the universe that I made him in that is. Soon, the spotlight was still kept on TK, but all the attention went back to the man on the microphone.
The man then continued to say, "Well, as all good things that has been done, we should all recognize it...and one of the best things that TK here has ever done was prevent an evil from spreading. Now what we have here tonight is all the children that TK killed that was no more than ten years of age or less folks! That's right, we have all the little ones that were the children of the evil people that TK killed so they wouldn't continue what their parents did.
'And so, give a round of applause to all the kids that were brutally murdered by TK shooting them one by one as he hunted them down in their own homes or chasing them down and making sure not a single life was left within their bodies! Come up, come up little children, don't be afraid it isn't like TK isn't going to hurt you...because he already did! Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
As the man said that he, he was bending a little on his knees as he was looking towards the end of the stage and giving a gesture with his right hand for the kids to walk on to the stage. And with that said, they did...all twenty one of them, in a single file line with white blindfolds on their faces.
Some were girls and some were boys, but all were in their best attire. And soon after all twenty one kids were in line on stage for all to see, all the people were laughing at the poor joke that the man had made towards the children and TK. They had laughed like maniacs and such...but of course TK didn't show any emotions towards it other than looking through his helmet and trying to piece together what was going on at that very moment. Soon, the room went silent after everyone had laughed as hard as they could.
Soon, the man on stage said, "In all seriousness though, we would like to thank you TK for what you have done. You see folks...this amazing person here killed all twenty one of these kids...and he didn't just do that at all...he also hunted their parents that he saw were evil and corrupted and hunted them down all like dogs! He even terrorized an entire city just to get to those people, killed so many innocent people that didn't do anything wrong...but it was all for the greater good...and tonight we have TK for that...and so tonight...we honor you TK...by remembering what you did!"
As he said those words, he started to laugh, along with the crowd as well, just the same laugh like before, as they thought it was all funny to them and they just couldn't stop either. So, with that said, he then proceeded to start on the left end of the row of kids and went up to the last kid in the row that was a little boy that was more or less likely to be around 4 years old. He even was holding on to a little teddy bear of his, something I believe TK killed him while the little boy was holding it in his hands while he slept the night away back in his universe.
The man on the stage then proceeded to make a gun gesture with a smile on his face and then did a gesture as if he was shooting the gun while saying, "Bang you're dead!"
Soon, the little boy fell to the ground, still blind folded with his teddy bear in his hands.
Soon, the man on the stage quickly started to speed things up by quickly aiming his fake gun at the next kids in line and sayings, "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! You're all dead too and TK shot you all in your sleep! Every single one of you while you all thought you could go gentle into that goodnight! When you all thought that all was well and you could all sleep peacefully in your beds without fear of the Boogeyman coming out of your closet or under your bed to get you!
'But you all thought wrong...as TK was the monster that was always hiding in your closet, the one that you feared every night before you went to bed and always was the reason why you begged for a night light so the light would shine upon the darkness to keep it at bay. But you were all were wrong, as TK is the monster that everyone fears and everyone dreams about in their nightmares every night, as they wake up in a cold sweat, wondering if they are going to die!
'TK shot you all...for he is the monster that hides under your beds every night to strike you and consume your souls! He consumes the light from your heavenly safety that is which from god himself and took that away and drowned you all in deep darkness known as the nothingness, where all you see for all of eternity is pure darkness, and the screams of millions as they hope they will see light once more!!
'But in the end...all they wish for is for something that will never be, for TK is always lurking behind every corner, every nightmare, every closet, for no one is safe from the monster, known as TK!!! And as every parent tucks their little ones at night, before they go to sleep, they tell the tale of the monster of TK! To watch out while they sleep, for he could be anywhere and could kill you in one strike!
'They tell you that no one is safe in the night of his presence, for if he hunts you down, for if he chooses you as his target, he will find you and consume your light and your innocence, as he is the monster, he is the devil, he is the boogeyman, he is the darkness that we all fear, that many have feared since time began, he is the monster known as TK! And as your parents leave you with those words, you shiver in fright and look outside your window to see if he is lurking within the shadows of the night. He watches you while you sleep a pleasant dream of happiness and security, but for what he dreams is unknown, for many question if a monster dreams at all. But if he were to have a dream, it would to purge his targets from this world of his, so you will be no more in his eyes, for as we now see it...he is a god.
'So we all obey his wishes and commands, for he is the monster that lurks in every corner of our minds, known as TK! Or...perhaps that tale your parents had told you was all but a myth, a story to scare you into believing that something will get you if you do any wrong at all...perhaps they are right...and perhaps they wrong for thinking such a thing. All you know is he may be lurking in the shadows of the night, ready to kill you and make you suffer for what you have done wrong in your life. And if you have, prepare to say goodbye to that goodnight for which you are slain in. But if you really want to know the truth...just watch and wait and see if he comes, do something bad, and see if he comes to you.
'If not, then you are spared, if so...then good luck, for he will hunt you down and make sure you are dead and gone for all of eternity! That is what TK is kids...and he shot you all one by one...at least just you seven."
He had said that all with a smile and acting like a crazy fool who thinks he is some kind of preacher. He had said with a loud tone of confidence and such, to where you would think he would be played by Nicolas Cage....well he could be.
I mean...he feels like he could be played by Cage. I mean Cage is crazy already...because I think he took too much meth, crystal meth that is and got it from Bryan Cranston too. Possibly anyways, but you know...you never truly know where he got his meth from...but you know it was from a good place.
Just like a good and weird place like...having to cut out all of your guts to get a baby out of you and then feed those guts to your newborn baby...because he's hungry and starving...so really he's a cannibal. I have no idea what I just said there, but let's keep going, although I'm guessing you are all somewhat confused a bit at least at this point...so let me just say this...keep reading and figure it out yourself or wait until I randomly talk about it...because that's how I am sometimes. Anyways, the man then walked over the fallen children and walked up to the eighth child in line, who was a little girl, no more than six years of age wearing a nice little pink dress and had her hair in a pony tail. She was standing straight up, chin up, eyes forward...I would assume anyways, but whatever...almost like a solider for war.
Anyways, the man went up to the girl and looked closely at her, as if he was inspecting her. He then went to her hair and sniffed it and slowly closed his eyes and moaned.
He then pulled back and far away and then looked back into the audience and said, "This one here...this one is a ripe one...a pure and innocent little girl who just wanted to be like her father when she grew up, to take his place once he fell towards the grip of death and follow in his footsteps and make him proud...but of course that didn't happen, for the Monster known as TK got to her first before reality could and ruin her for who she really is, as the world chews and spits her out like she was nothing.
'Instead...TK found her hiding in a closet with her dearest mother, hiding from the little ol' Boogeyman and took a shotgun and blasted her face off! Oh how wonderful...just wonderful TK! You did a marvelous job and took her soul from her parents! No words can express how grateful we all are for that TK...no words at all. And to think that you could scare the Boogeyman away, by putting a bit of salt on his tail. To pretend that your teddy bear is a dog. To pretend that you're a cat or a crocodile or even sticking him with a pin or saying 'buzz buzz.' Not even solders that would be hiding in your bed would be enough to stop him from coming to get you! Not even pretending he isn't there will stop him from coming! Not even pretending to be a asleep will change his mind not to kill you!
'Not even this girl's little mummy could save her, as she tucks her in every single night, she says to her that she is frighten of the monster that hides in her closet...how ashamed it is that mummy never trusted you, for she was wrong and paid the price and to see your pretty little face get blown to bits with a shotgun made by the monster himself...known as TK! But do not fret by the thought little dear, for your mother met the same fate, but only this time without a care. However, you were the lucky one indeed, for you were the only one was killed from a shotgun to the face."
Soon the man slowly backed up a bit and made the gesture once more to make his hand looking like a gun and aimed it at her face.
He then said the only word at that moment as loud as he could, "Bang!"
He then looked towards the audience and took a slow bow. After the many people that clapped, he then turned his attention to the next seven children in line of whom, TK slaughtered in his past.
He then went up to the ninth child, who was a young girl, nor more than five years of age, holding a little doll in her arm while wearing a white dress with her hair having bangs that gave off a light brown color to it all. The man looked at the little girl and put his hand on his chin and looked curious.
He then asked, "Hmm...I wonder, I wonder, how did TK here killed you? In fact, how did TK kill all seven of you? I know! He burned you alive like rats in a cage! He tied you all up, poured gasoline all over you all at a warehouse and burned you all as you screamed in pain to be let free...but when you realized when the pain wasn't going away...you realized that you were all going to have to go through the pain and meet death on the other side.
'So that's what you had to do when you realized no one was coming to save you all. And in truth...that is very...very funny if you know what I'm saying. And even to think the monster that is TK would burn these seven children alive is mind blowing to me, for you had to have been a mad man to kill them like that! A simple criminal would just shoot them and get it over with...but TK took it the extra mile and made sure their corpses burned to a black crisp, as they felt every single inch of pain of a burning sensation on their skin, something that they would never recover from at all! He burned you all alive and we all think that is just swell and just funny! It seems that TK is starting to be more of a comedian than a hero! But I suppose we all need some comedy when it comes to the monsters at night, don't we all? So...you are all dead!"
The seven children that the man was talking about soon fell down dead on the stage and didn't make another move at all. They were motionless, as they represented the children that TK killed, but still, to TK's reactions...he wasn't showing any regrets or sadness...he was just standing there with his helmet on his head...watching it as all the children fell one by one.
It was as if he didn't really care about the children he had killed, but to him...it was only for the good of the future...at least for his own universe. But then again...I was the one who created his universe, his life, his story...so really in the end...I wonder if I had made him do those things...or was it simply by free will. I'm not so sure which is it...but if I had to guess...it's up to anyone to decide if I had made him do it...or perhaps it was his free will, but he knew of what must be done because of the story that I had created for him.
Hell, I even gave him that heads up about killing the devil and becoming it in his universe back in those days when I had those adventures.
So really, in the end...he may be the monster, but really...he's more than just a monster to me...he's...well I'm unsure of what he is. He is the devil...he is my devil...but the question is who is my god? Anyways, the old man then moved on to the next child in the line, which was the sixteenth child to be exact, which was of a boy that looked to be in his teens. He had a short haircut, back straight, arms at his side, almost as if he was going into the army at some point, but of course he wouldn't because he is already long gone.
However, to TK, he was always there in his memory...I would think anyways since he did kill twenty one kids...it would seem to me that would be one hell of a thing not to forget...especially if he didn't care. I mean I could understand if it was just one...but twenty one...that's a whole different story.
Anyways, he was well dressed, just like every other kids.
The man looked closely at the boy, just like the others and he said after looking at his face for a while and staring at it for a bit, "Well well well...what do we have here? A boy that's a teen? Why TK...I thought you were better than this?" He was looking towards TK with eyes as if he was shocked by what he was seeing, "Why...I'm a bit disappointed with you TK...you killed small children...all under the age of ten, but this one is past ten...I thought you were smart about this TK?"
Soon, there was a pause in the room, pure silence really.
The man on the stage then said loudly, "I'M JUST KIDDING TK! I know the only reason why you killed this kid because he had a little brother that was only seven years of age...isn't that right little fella?"
The man then looked back to the kids, this time looking at the little brother to the older boy right next to him. Soon, the little boy, who was a bit shaky...slowly nodded his head up and down three times.
Soon, the man on the stage said, "Since you made up for killing the little boy...we forgive you TK. Isn't that right everybody?!"
Soon, everyone in the room said in unison, "We forgive you TK."
They all had said it with smiles upon their faces, not even breaking that facial expression once throughout the event that was being taken place there.
Soon, the man said to the children, as he turned his back towards the kids as well and said, "Well then...now that we accept that TK killed you two...how about we try and figure out how he killed you two? I'm willing to bet he killed you two with a bullet or three each in the head...but then again...that doesn't seem like TK...now does it? Well...it does when he wants to get things done fast...but it seems to me that the older brother wanted to protect his little brother, so he would need to have put up a fight of some kind. Then again, TK is a muscle man, so he shouldn't have had to put up too much of a fight to kill you. He didn't want to make a chore out of it, did he now?
'No...he must have tried to do something with you...what was it...that's right! I now remember what TK did to you two! TK was about to kill the little brother by shooting him in the head, but the big brother wanted to be the hero of the story, so he rammed into TK's right arm as he was just about to shoot the little brother in the head. So, the bullet missed and the little brother proceeded to run away, so TK got pissed at the big brother and grabbed him by the neck and snapped it. No wait...that wasn't it...he ripped it off! And a good choice as well TK, as snapping it would be too boring and normal like every other killer out there...like every other monster...it would be just too much of the same thing.
'So he changed it up a bit and ripped his head off. Granted it wasn't easy, especially when the big brother tried to make a huge fuss about it, not sure why he just didn't take it and accepted he was going to die anyway. But no...he put up a fight...a lousy one at that. But with all of TK's might, he ripped his head off...quite a feat I must admit. I mean is TK even human? But then again...he isn't the monster that everyone hides from for nothing. Well, as TK ripped off the head of the big brother, TK then went after the little boy, who went off into the woods and tried to run away from the big bad TK, at least that's how he saw it, but clearly he wasn't right in the head.
'Well, the little boy thought he was safe. Wrong! TK was sneaky and grabbed a hold of him from behind, to which he then dragged him to a nearby stream that was deep enough to drown the little boy and killed him. Just like the brother, he had to make a fuss about it, but that's alright...little boys and girls don't even know what's good for them and they must simply be taught the right way to do things and take their medicine...and so in order to do that...TK punched him as hard as he could in the back of his skull, cracking it and making blood come rushing out and into the stream, as the little boy was drowning and having his lungs fill up with water as he slowly died. And soon...the little boy was longer no more kicking and screaming...what a lesson.
'What the medicine that is. So, in honor of the last fifteen kids...BANG! BANG! You both are dead and you both die as brothers together! But at least you two have each other though...am I right folks!"
Soon everyone laughed, expect for TK, who just continued to stand there, but this time around made a few grunt noises at the same time. Soon the kids also fell down as well, and nothing more added to it as well. Soon the man on the stage walked up to the next child who was another little boy, just time he was only three years of age. He looked a bit scared and nervous, but he tried to stand there as still as he could be.
The man on the stage then said, "And what about you little boy? How did TK kill you? I wonder, because I can't seem to figure out how he killed you. I mean I can't see that he killed you by stabbing, gunshot, fire...I'm not sure really."
The man on the stage then looked to TK and then had a confused look on his face.
He then asked him, "How did you do it TK? Honestly, I'm not even playing around anymore here...what did you do to him?"
Everyone was silent in the room, as the crowd around TK waited in anticipation to what his response would be of when he would speak...if he ever spoke at all that is.
TK waited a few seconds until he spoke, to which he then said, "I killed him in his sleep by giving him an injection. It's a silent killer, where it would stop his heart and he wouldn't even know it. The only reason I did that however was because I didn't see a reason to use any other methods, as I try to keep it quiet as much as I can. If not, then I will use other means, and all those other children were either running away or being protected by their parents or other people. So with him, there was no need to go all out and waste energy on him. Besides, what does it matter...death is death.
'The reason why I say this is because by just going off your words, all you want is children under ten years of age to be killed in the most brutal way as possible, as if you're some kind of person that would go on to the Deep web and have live feeds of you killing children under ten years of age and getting a kick out of it. But you know what...I've seen some of those people in my universe and on Knight's universe...and to be quite honest with you...their souls were interesting...and Knight didn't lie to me when he said that the ones that commits these acts are bad souls...but yet give me some sort of energy.
'The worst that they are, the more energy I get, especially in Knight's universe. One was making child pornography, his soul was just like every bad soul I ever ate. Then there were the ones that would rape the children and kill them...they gave me energy beyond what I would get from a typical bad soul. But then...there are the special ones...the ones that take a step further such as abusing lives of many animals and doing human experiments in brutal ways on the homeless, and from what I can tell from Knight's universe...that is bad under that universe's god, so it would make it a bad soul.
'And those types of souls made me the strongest of all. But I'm sure there is more evil souls out there that would give me even more power, although I'll admit, harvesting the bad souls in Knight's universe has seemed to cause some sort of trouble with me and the actual devil of that universe...but then again...it's not like I care. So my question is to you...what are you exactly, for I see something beyond you that is not usual for me to see. As if you're different, as if you're playing a game with me."
The man on the stage then said, "I have no idea whatsoever what you're talking about TK...and...I see your point on about killing him. I mean you've used all these ways of killing the kids off, but I suppose you needed a change of pace and instead of it doing it loud, you did it quiet...and us all...that is quite interesting. But...aside from that..."
Soon the man on the stage turned around to look at the three year old and made the gun hand once more and gently placed it against the child's forehead, to which he then said very softly, "Bang."
Soon, his hand slightly went into the air, as if to pretend the 'gun' recoiled. Soon, the kid fell down, but stopped shaking and such. Soon, the man on the stage went to the next and final group of kids that were all girls, all sisters.
The first one was ten years of age, the oldest. The second, eight years of age. The twenty-first and final child at the end of the world was a little girl that seemed to be no more than the age of five. All the girls were holding hands, to show that they were sisters and had bonds that would never be broken at all.
The man inspected all three of them, as he looked from top to bottom, from their hair to their shoes, to which he then said, "Yes...that's right...the final three kids that you killed TK. Now it's interesting what TK did on how he killed these last three. He did it in such a way that you would think he would go off with a bang since these were the last kids he had to kill. But you would be thinking wrong. You see...TK killed these three by using his sword, the sword that he barely even seems to use anymore, but is a sword made in Japan, and is very strong and never needs to be repaired for any damage or rust it might get over a period of many years or so. It's just an awesome sword you could say.
'However, since TK is the monster that everyone fears, there's no reason why to use it, he could just use fear. However, I admire his choice, as when TK trained in Japan when he first became The Knight...that was the sword that was given to him by his master, right before he died in front of him. And so... in honor of killing the twenty-first child, or the last three I should say, you used the master's sword to kill them all and to end your objective with a bang!"
The man on the stage then made the usual gesture once again with the hand gun and soon pointed at all three girls and said, "Bang! Bang! Bang!"
The man on the stage then put his hand down and then proceeded to say, "And that is the story of how TK here killed all twenty one children...or at least attempted to kill twenty one that is. Because you see...the eleventh child, a boy, somehow, and god knows why, escaped death...and soon became what TK didn't want him to become, what his parents was. And honestly...he tried to kill TK...but in the end....TK killed him, while in the process of him, slowly dying, but here he is now...the devil...and he did a tremendous thing...killing these kids...sure it might be twenty he really killed, but in our hearts...he killed twenty one kids...and for that...We thank you. In our hearts, we would give you the world for what you have done."
Soon the man on the stage started to put on a very evil looking grin, but yet a comforting one and oddly started to sing...or more or less of a chant...I'm not sure, but there wasn't any musical instruments that is.
Well, the man on the stage began with before the rest of the people in the room joined in to sing to TK with:"Oh TK... we owe our hearts..."
Soon everyone joined in.
Oh TK, we love you, respect you, we honor tonight! Oh TK, we are the ones for you to lead! TK you burn burn with fright You burn very deeply in the night And so we are here to say We love and miss you, you are the demon that rings beneath our feet Oh TK, we adore you, we miss you, we love you You burn brightly in our souls, and we will not ask for any more and you will burn , burn, burn brightly ever so until it is time for your rest! OH TK, Oh TK, you know, that we follow you wherever you may go! If it's to the bottom or to your attack on the top on the clouds We will always love you for what you have done!
Soon...TK didn't feel like himself...well he did...he just really started to get pissed off...to the point where he went on a rage attack type of deal and started to kill everyone in the room.
To put it in more simple terms...TK just started to kill all those in the room. As in he wouldn't use any guns at all or a sword that the man on the stage would mention...but he instead...he would use all of his rage and use his bare fists to start killing everybody with.
And due to the fact he's the devil...it's possible...so no scientists now can come to me through a portal and tell me that I'm wrong. That's the cake's job to do that...but anyways, yes, TK started to kill everyone one in that room, even the man on the stage. However, how he did it was right after they did their little chant, everyone started it laugh like a maniac and laughed like crazy.
And soon, and I'm guessing, on this...just remember that...that TK started to hear the laughter ever so quickly grow louder and louder in his head. It wouldn't stop and as I recall, TK slowly started to growl, but the laughs didn't stop and the people around started to crowd around him. They then trapped him in a circle, smiling at him while laughing while the man on the stage started to laugh along and was almost about to die of laughter, as he was on the floor and couldn't control himself when he was laughing. Soon, the tipping point happened with TK and he just snapped right then and there.
TK yelled as loud as he could in the room, "That's enough!"
TK then went to the first person he saw in front of him and then proceeded to punch that person fast and smash the person's skull in, as blood and bits and pieces of the person's brain would all come out on to the floor. And from there, TK went from person to person and did that, as he beat them into the ground and as blood splattered across his helmet, he was taking his rage against them, mostly because he was pissed off.
But as much as I know, TK wasn't pissed off that they were telling him that he killed kids. He wasn't pissed because he was being reminded of that past and soon had thoughts of regret and sorrow in his mind and want forgiveness, so he pretended to be angry as if he didn't care what he did...but come on...I created TK, so this I know for sure.
The reason why TK was pissed off at them because it was annoying him...that along with something else, but we'll get to that when it comes. Although, before I continue writing TK's events down, as I do have the rest of Luna's night to do it...that...well I'm not that shocked or surprised that would actually happen to TK...where a somewhat of a fat man would go on to the stage and tell him he did something and he starts to laugh...honestly I kind of could tell that would happen...because that's just how life is sometimes.
One minute you did something wrong like smoke crack, and then the next minute...a fat guy on a stage talks about it to you, tries to make you feel bad, and laughs at you...that or if you're a pedophile, then Chris Hansen will break into your home, wait in your kitchen or wake you up in your bedroom, since he only comes out at night, and tells you to have a seat.
To which he then talks to you and makes you feel bad, but instead laughing at you, instead he gives you a rope, a gun, or sends the police in to arrest you. That or the pedophile would just blow his brains out when he sees Chris while holding some Wendy's in his hand because he likes little boys and burgers...especially the little burgers from white Castle. But you see...around here...we call those Castle Pedophiles...where they stalk little burgers at night at White Castle and offer the little burgers candy in their dirty white McDonalds van. And then the little burgers goes with the Castle Pedophile and then he molests the little burgers while having a threesome with the king from Burger King and that guy from Jack in the Box.
And then he slits the little burger's throat and dump the body in the trash can and eventually gets interviewed by Chris. But instead of giving the Castle Pedophile a gun or rope...he gives them an Arby's burger, in which case they take a bite out of it, gets AIDs, and go to Diabetes heaven for no odd reason whatsoever.
But if you really want to get into it, you have KFC rapists...where black people go into KFC in mid-day, always from 3-5, takes some chicken, and rapes it while using grape soda as the lubricant...oh and the KFC rapists does anal with the fried chickens. And then after wards, a white guy sees what's happening and blames it on a flag for it and people bitch and complain about it and after that it just gets a little hazy.
Anyways...that describes something perfectly...doesn't it? I mean it describes how a fat guy...can become a Castle Pedophile...and you would be expecting that...because he's a fat guy. That or he has diabetes, to which case he'll just get his left foot amputated like that one fat black guy...Fat Albert, and then eats a bunch of chocolates because he has an eating problem.
And as to why he has an eating problem would be that as a child, he was working out in the fields one day and a great big white Stallion came along, as he was a breeding horse farmer...whatever they are called. However, it wasn't breeding season and he was really lonely...so the white stallion sees the fat black guy...I think...his ass...and immediately gets a big horse erection and tries to breed with the black fat guy.
But of course, the fat guy struggles, the white horse takes out a knife, holds it up to his throat, tells him to perform various sex acts in front of a live web camera while wearing a wig and some make up. And so the fat guy does what he is told, the white horse is satisfied, and he then becomes his pimp and rapes him every night because he is his bitch...along with the fact that he also takes out his eating disorder on rats as he feeds them chicken every Thursday night at his dead grandma's house because he killed her in her sleep by skull fucking her to death. And even that has to what I have just said describes a lot of things honestly and honestly it just makes a lot of sense really.
And so in the end...what I just said means that it's just like the fat guy on the stage. It may not make too much sense now...but let it sink in for a while and it'll come to you in about twenty to forty years from now...and when you're jacking off...possibly with your old man dick or pussy or jacking off in a coffin...or in the afterlife...whatever you humans do nowadays...which you possibly jack off at the breakfast table now, but whatever...while you're in the middle of jacking off...you finally get the what I'm trying to say. And honestly...that's beautiful.
Anyways, as I was saying, TK was beating everyone to a bloody pulp and killing them. Some he was smashing their heads in, while others just punching them in the face until they were dead and gone with big grins across their faces. Although I should mention that TK saved the man on the stage for last. Once he had killed everyone on the floor, he saw the man on the stage on the floor rolling on his back laughing. He had his arms on his stomach as he couldn't stop laughing, as if he was going to die of laughter soon and that no one could do anything about it at all. Well, TK climbed on to the stage with no problems whatsoever, and slowly made his way towards the man on the stage.
By the time TK got to the man on the stage, the man was on his stomach and his legs were kicking and pounding his fist on to the stage, as he laid there and laughed. However, before TK made his final move on the man, TK noticed something was different on the stage, the kids that were once there that had fallen after the man had said the word 'bang' were all gone.
As if they just had disappeared into thin air...or you know...disappeared into a great white whale that was being fucked by Moby's Dick....which was a great white dick too. Anyways, TK noticed that kids weren't there, however he just shrugged it off, mostly due to the fact that he knew what he was doing, so he went to make his final move on the man on the stage.
TK climbed on to the stage, and the man was still there, unarmed but yet laughing so hard it was somewhat hurting him...I guess. Soon, TK went up to him by the neck and slowly lifted him up as the man continued to laugh at his face while slowly spitting on him...you know...when someone laughs really hard...sometimes a little salvia could...come out...something like that.
TK looked straight into his eyes, dead cold and he said, "Tell me...do you feel any pain whatsoever?"
The man then said to TK, "What pain!? We don't feel pain! It's all because of you...our savior, the one that helped us all! The one that made us who we are...the one that showed us that the darkness isn't such a scary thing or to be afraid of! That you are our light through the darkness...that you, the monster that everyone hides from is our greatest friend indeed...that has helped us and made us strong...and it's all thanks to you...that we have no fear...no pain...no feelings of regret or remorse!"
TK then was silent for a bit until he said to the man's face, "I never did it to show humanity to be strong...I never did it to show that the darkness is your friend...I never did any of that at all."
The man then asked, "So...you did it because you were told to do so...because Knight created you and he is your god now and you have to do what god tells you to do!?"
TK then got a little closer to his face and said right into his ears, "No...it was because I was fucking pissed."
Then TK grabbed the man's neck and snapped it, making his neck broken and not alive. Although I must say though...TK only got half of that reason right for why he did those things back in his universe...I mean...it's not because I was his god...but there is a second reason aside from being pissed off to doing those things such as killing those kids.
But...it doesn't need to be said...especially you fucking Cow Tippers...fuck you.
Anyways, TK then let the man drop to the ground, to which then TK looked around the room and saw that no one was left alive. There was blood everywhere, among the many dead bodies with smiles across their faces.
TK still didn't know where the kid's bodies went, but he still didn't care, not even at that moment. In fact...at that very moment...he was calm...but yet still pissed and still seemed to know something was going to happen.
Soon, TK jumped off the stage and headed for the center of the dance floor, still looking around his surroundings. It was a wreck, as he walked in the blood that he had made, but he had plenty enough on his hands, but it didn't matter to him because he never cared about that really. Well, TK looked at the ceiling of the room, nothing much to comment on. After that...TK turned around and looked back to the stage.
Soon TK grabbed something out from his back that was hidden by his black cape with a hint of dark red...or hell-ish red...whatever you get the idea....and it was a shotgun. But of course it wasn't a normal shotgun...it was more or less his Devil shotgun, to which it would fire bullets and fire at the same time.
Well, TK looked around and said out loud, "I know you're here! I know none of this is real! I know that this was merely a simulation that you took part from my life and trying to make me feel guilty! Let me just say I don't give a single fuck if I killed those kids or not! I don't even fucking care if millions of people came to my face and told me it was wrong...I'll just tell them to either fuck off or I'll rip their faces off as they burn to ashes! Now come out and perhaps we can actually talk this out before I rip your throat out because right now I'm not in the damn mood to be messed around with! I noticed trough my analysis in my helmet that you're not human! That you are in the backstage, to my right!"
Then, a quick blur ran across the stage, however as TK said it wasn't human, so it was running on all fours...and no it wasn't a pony either. With what TK saw...it was something else...something old and dangerous.
However, I was sure...in fact I'm pretty sure that he didn't know what it was...for obvious reasons that will be told through this journal in good time...anyways, it was a creature. However, TK didn't get a good look at it....at least I think...like I said, not sure what goes on in that helmet of his. I mean out of all the characters I made and found through my adventures through the universes...TK...and maybe TF at a certain time, I couldn't tell what went on in their heads.
I mean for all I knew they were thinking of sunshine and farts while dancing in the sunlight with a person named Tiny Tim playing a tiny ukulele while going on a psychopathic killing spree. Although with TK, I suppose that wouldn't happen since from how he is...well he isn't sunshine and farts.
He's more or less of shitting blood and eternal flames. You know...eternal flames that melts your face off...and farts that burn....very bloody to where you need to go to a doctor quick before you get Type Batman Symbol diabetes.
Or type Q diabetes...either way take your pick. But with TF...yeah he might be thinking of sunshine and farts...while on a killing spree...but then again I think he would be watching that happen then being a part of it as a whole. I mean I'm not so sure what they think...despite me creating them...and it is a bit difficult to tell what they are exactly thinking.
Anyways, with TK, he just stood there, but I'm sure his helmet picked up something, perhaps a picture of the creature at the perfect micro-second.
Well, TK saw it, stood there and then said aloud, "Come out now!"
Then the creature then said in a scruffy voice...a dark type of voice like a monster would have, said to TK behind the curtains on the stage, "I see that you're not afraid of your past...interesting...but I wonder...are you afraid of your god? Are you afraid of your future? Are you afraid of your allies? Are you afraid of the ones that you have lost? Are you afraid of yourself? We shall see. And I'm sure at least one of those shall break you. And when that happens...I'll be there to rip your soul out...or is there a soul there at all?"
TK then started to walk slowly forwards as he slowly started to raise his shotgun in defense...his devil shotgun or whatever...it's just a badass evil shotgun is all.
Actually...it is called the Devil's Shotgun, but whatever, you get the point.
Well, TK did that, he slowly walked up and he said while doing so, "You think what you want to think...all I know is that you're going to fucking die right now because you're in my way of my business...and you're pissing me off."
TK pointed his shotgun at the stage and fired a shot. He wasn't aiming at anything specific...he just wanted to get a warning shot...at least that's what I guess that is, because he might have just done that to just mess shit up. But then again TK doesn't really care, so who knows right? TK then stopped a few feet in front of the stage, as he didn't proceed to climb on it. He just stood there and looked, as not a single sound was made. As if he was waiting for the creature to come out.
Then, in a flash, the creature slid across to the middle of the stage and stopped in its tracks, to which it then quickly took a second to take a good look at TK. The creature was on all four legs, built to where it could run very quickly and escape anyone who attempts to catch the said creature. He also had a jagged back and a pair of red glowing eyes just like any monster would have.
Well...sometime it's green, but whatever. Anyways, it also had claws on all four feet, as they were sharp as knives and teeth that looked like it could cut through a thousand people at once. It also had a tail, but it was nothing special unlike the rest of it was. It also had a darkish brown color too.
And TK saw all this all in a second. With the creature, what it saw was TK, standing there, ready for a fight while holding the shotgun in his hands.
To it, TK was another target for itself, to feed off of...for it was a special type of creature...in fact...it was the only one of his kind. Soon, the creature after standing there for a single second, it started to run towards TK as fast as it could.
As soon as TK saw this in a split of a second, TK quickly put the shotgun away and swiftly raised his right arm, as if he was going to release something to attack the creature with.
Soon, TK released something from the creature and it was a claw that had three points that could grab on to anything and never lose a grip on anything whatsoever.
So to the creature, that would be a challenge. So, as soon as the claw attached to the creature, the creature soon jumped over TK's head and soon disappeared behind him.
The reason why? Once TK looked behind him for a second, he saw a white shaped doorway that the creature went through and soon TK was dragged along through the doorway. As soon as he dragged through, the doorway closed and disappeared, as the room just sat there, empty...as it continued to be in existence in an unknown place of space and time. Where TK went next is...somewhat of a complicated story...ok that was a lie...it's not really.
Actually it's more or less quite simple actually...in fact it's more or less quite shorter than what happened back at the last place where TK visited at. Anyways, where TK ended up next was he ended up in a dark hallway. However it wasn't a dark hallway where nothing was there...but a dark hallway with actual things, so TK didn't end up in an endless void of some kind. In fact, you could see in this hallway, as there was a little light shedding the darkness of this hallway from another hallway that was lit up with bright lights.
TK was on the ground, as he no longer had a grip on the creature. TK was on his back, or at least halfway that was, and he looked around to see where he was at, for this time he was in a different place. So, he looked around and so that it was dark...but if I am guessing correctly, he could see through the darkness with his helmet of his...but not a hundred percent sure though, so take that how you will.
Well, once TK got a good look at his surroundings, TK slowly got up from the ground and decided to check out what the light source was. It wasn't clear as to what the light source was since TK had to turn a corner to find out since there wasn't a door blocking the light.
However, before TK could take a single step forward, the creature slowly came out of nowhere and ran into the room with the bright light. TK saw this and started to run after him, perhaps he could catch him this time and kill him while also getting some answers if he desires to do so.
However, TK didn't say words at all for the creature to stop since he knew it would be pointless. TK soon started to run after the creature and quickly turned the corner...however, TK then started to walk as TK saw what the room was. TK saw it was and slowly walked into the room, while the creature got away and mixed into a huge crowd that was in the room. What TK saw was his universe...his home...his hell...his kingdom. It was his throne room that he was seeing and he saw the throne he sat on as he ruled all over hell, no one was sitting in it.
However, if I had to guess, TK knew this was another one of the creature's tricks, a simulation that was created by him, but yet lies in existence in an unknown plain of reality somewhere that cannot be found. As if it is completely off the grid and cannot be found within the outside of the universes.
TK looked around and tried to find the creature he was after, but he didn't find anything in his path. Eventually he felt a hand was put on his shoulder, to which TK then turned his head around and what he saw was a demon he knew that was somewhat his second-in-command- demon. He had a hunchback, horns coming from out of his head as the classic demon he was. He also had a dark red color to his skin.
But his skin wasn't smooth, it was all wrinkly, bumpy you could say. He also had weird looking eyes as well that would scare a little child in his sleep. However, he wasn't angry or anything, in fact, he was happy and was smiling at TK.
TK just looked at him without a single word as the demon said, "Hello TK...great day isn't it?"
TK just looked at him, wondering what to do I suppose, but then again I suppose he was looking through his helmet, to which he then said, "It is...isn't it Moz?"
I am going to guess here that he was going to play along with the thing, and when you think about it...it makes sense since if he tries to disrupt the simulation, it might make the creature a bit hard to find, and since the creature would most likely have been watching him at that time...he could always look around, find the creature, find a weak point to him, and take him down.
Anyways, Moz then said to TK...and yes apparently that is a demon name...well he then sais to TK, "It's quite a party you're throwing. But hey...it only makes sense...you're the king! I mean right now this party is all about you!"
TK then looked at him, not for sure what face he was making...but if I had to guess...none...because he's fucking TK...that's why...but TK then asked Moz, "I'm afraid that I have forgotten what I have done to deserve this type of party. It's nothing serious what has happened to me to forget such a thing, but can you tell me what's going on here?"
Moz then looked a bit confused, but then thought to himself as if it was all normal and said, "Uh...sure TK. Well, let's see...there was a number of things that happened. Well first off...you killed god."
TK then asked him, "Which one?"
Then Moz said, "Both actually. You killed the god here and the one that made you...so really...you rule two heavens and Hell here." TK then asked, "What do you mean by two heavens?"
Moz then said, "Well you know...the heaven in this universe. We have taken that over and is now ours...we have taken over Earth and now all souls are in pain and suffering for all of eternity. The other heaven...well you should know because you said it was personal...I mean Knight was your god and you just killed him without mercy. I must admit, it was quite a show...not only to mention that you took over his heaven...quite a site too, but if I had to say anything...I feel like it's going to waste...but that's ok, because tomorrow we are all heading out to conquer one more Hell and one more heaven...and then we shall have our kingdom...and it's all thanks to you TK."
TK just looked at him, and while I am wondering what was going through his head at the time...I'm sure it was good...or at least I hope that was.
TK then asked, "So what exactly happened to Knight?"
Moz then responded with, "Well...let's see, if I recall correctly, you impaled him in front of a god, which then pissed her off and these two ponies...Celestia and Luna I believe tried to kill you, but of course you weren't able to defeat them, but you were able to kill the god though...but that only pissed the other two off and they swore revenge on you for what you did to those two. Although I'm sure you would have some sort of battle plan though in order to get rid of those two, in which case, other than that, that's how you killed Knight and what happened. Now come and stop asking question, sit in your throne and have a drink...or you know...just sit down..."
Moz grabbed TK's arm and dragged him towards his throne. They slowly pushed through the crowd filled with demons and other weird beings that were having a party and Moz led TK to his throne.
In which case, TK stood there and looked at his throne, to which case I believe he was wondering if he should play along with the entire thing.
Moz then looked a little worried and then asked TK, "What is it TK? Is there something not to your liking?"
TK then slowly looked at him and then said to him, "No...everything is absolutely fine. Now fuck off."
TK then proceeded to sit in his throne, to which then he laid his head against his fist that he was making on his arm chair.
Moz then had a little smile on his face, to which he then yelled out into the entire crowed, "May I have your attention! Please...be quiet for our king will like to say a few words!"
Soon, the entire room went dead silent within seconds, as if some tragic event had just happened and they were all lost for words. So, they all awaited for what TK had to say next.
Soon, TK got up from his throne and stood there straight up. He then looked around the room, as his throne was higher above the crowd in the room. So, he was able to get a good look as to what he was dealing with.
Soon, TK then finally spoke and said, "I see you are all here...that you are all here to celebrate on how far we have come. And that soon that we will be even more stronger than what we are now. That soon we shall take another 'heaven' and hell."
Soon everyone in the room cheered to what TK had said about taking over another heaven. They were excited, pumped, ready to take over the next heaven that they had planned, along with the next underworld they wanted as well.
TK then continued to talk after the cheer had died down and said, "I see that all of you see this as our time to be the strong ones. And that perhaps soon we will take over even more land. Well, do what you wish, because in the end this kingdom of ours will eventually fall down, crumble beneath our feet, for we are the demons aren't we not?"
Soon, a random demon in the crowd soon spoke up and asked, "But...we are the demons that has so far taken over so much...what makes you think we can be stopped?"
TK then said, "Because any kingdom that has to be built from the ground up eventually falls...in order words...only god's kingdom will stand for all of eternity."
Soon Moz looked a bit worried, nervous, wondering what was wrong with TK. He soon tapped on TK's shoulder and soon TK looked towards him. Soon everyone in the crowd was whispering, wondering what TK was even saying, as it didn't sound like the usual him...at least the TK that they used to know.
TK looked towards Moz and seemed to have been open to what he had to say. Moz asked TK, "Are you feeling alright TK? This isn't like you...yesterday you were filled with speeches that came from your heart the encouraged us to stay strong and fight for what is ours." TK then asked, "And what is ours?"
Moz then paused for a bit, but he then said after some thought, "Well...we're demons, monsters, those that fear us in the dead of night. We are all just another monster to any human. Especially you...so really nothing belongs to us, but then that would also mean anything can belong to us...and for so long we have been hiding in the dark, no freedom whatsoever...but now it is time to let us to roam free just like you said, like the demons we are. That's why you killed your god, so you may have freedom to what you wanted to do. You are the king of the demons after all."
TK then thought about it, and Moz did have a point...he was a demon and such...and demons aren't always nice. Soon, there was yelling throughout the crowd and every single monster or demon in the crowd moved aside to reveal Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. They had yelled, "TK!"
TK's attention was soon caught and saw the sisters there, in pony form. To TK, he was confused as to why this simulation would have them in here, however he forced that thought aside and waited to see what the two sisters would do next.
Celestia then said, "How dare you...how dare you kill Knight and our dear mother like that!"
Luna then yelled, "We trusted you...even Knight trusted you! And you just turn your back on him like that and kill him like that, not only to mention that you had to kill our dearest mother too! Even she didn't do anything to you to deserve the fate that she had received from you!"
TK then asked the two mares, "And I'm assuming you want revenge."
Celestia then said, "We want more than just revenge...we want your dead corpse, we want your head...we want you dead and gone forever!"
TK didn't show any motion or in other words to those Cow Trippers out there...body language...to how he felt. TK just stood there as he listened to Celestia and Luna yell at him.
After they had spoken, TK then said to the two sisters, "And may I ask that does this have to do with the past?"
Celestia then yelled out in anger as a tear slowly ran down her right cheek as to what had happened in the past, "Yes! You know what you did...you killed him...not only that but you killed her too....you killed both of them...those that we loved and cherished!"
Luna then spoke up in rage in her voice, "And now you must pay the price of how you took those two lives...even if we have to die for it! Their deaths must be avenged in honor of their memory!"
Soon, TK saw the creature that he was tracking down in the crowd, trying to watch what TK was doing while staying a safe distance away from TK, but not enough for TK to not spot him. TK saw this and I'm willing to bet that he needed to find a way to get to him without alerting him.
And so, TK leaned a bit forward and then said to the two princesses, "And so what? Those are just lives...lives are taken everyday...especially when you are talking about all the universes. When you compare a single life to all of the other deaths that occur within the limitless amount of universes there are....it is nothing...so Knight and your mother's deaths were nothing to me and nothing to everything else. Only to you it meant something."
TK then stepped down from his throne and onto the main level of the crowd to be at eye level with the two alicorn mares. TK slowly walked forward to the two princesses as he continued to talk.
He continued with the same tone as before as he was moving, "It's only because you hold on to their memories close to your heart. You keep their memories alive within you both. You remember them how you loved them, and that is why you are heartbroken, because when the things that you love go away, you feel that the memories and the connections are lost to them, so you sit there with a broken heart and wonder if the entire world is against you. Or maybe that god is against you or that everything is bad in your little world. But you just need to realize that those two lives that I have taken mean absolutely nothing and you shouldn't feel remorse for those two...for they are a waste of time."
Soon, the princesses were starting to produce tears as it slowly ran down their faces and they started to cry.
Soon Luna said while still giving an angry face said, "T-That's not true!! You take that back!"
TK slowly continued to inch towards the two princesses and he continued to say, "Oh but it is the truth...you are the only ones in the way of feeling sadness and despair, and you are the only ones to blame for such a thing. It is yourselves that you are left to blame to look for vengeance. To you...all it is nothing but a pain...a pain within both of your memories, a non-existent pain, and so you try and get rid of that pain by hunting me down and killing me, as you think that will ease the pain of your loss. But you're only hurting yourself with hunting me down. You could move on with your lives, but just like every other human that I have ever met in my fucking life, you're just like them...always trying to avenge their deaths when it is not needed.
'Sometimes they always do something stupid and act stupid, as they think that they're doing good and preventing more deaths or encouraging good habits or some shit like that...but in the end it's just a waste of fucking time...and time is precious...so why waste it on the dead while you can waste it for future generations...because no matter what you're always wasting time. But I'm not going to tell you to stop wasting your time. Instead, with what I do with those idiot humans up above...I will watch you fall, I will watch you and your world crumble underneath you and see you suffer from your mistakes that you never learned from. If you want to be saved, save yourself, because in a reality like this, no one is here to save you...unless you make friends of course. But if not, then you're screwed and will die like a dog out in the cold world known as humanity.
'Granted with you two...it's different...but it could still happen to you two. Perhaps one day you kingdom falls and you watch as all those citizens that you love and try to protect will burn in front of you, as you are forced to watch as they die one by one in front of your eyes. Either way, you're watching your kingdom fall. You could do it from a view or up close, it's up to you how you want to see it. That or you could take the easy way out and kill yourselves by hanging yourself, but now since you don't have a mother to turn to...you're shit out of luck and will be in a deep dark void of nothingness and have no acknowledge of your previous existence and your life just ends there...Isn't that how it is done in reality...in real life in your world?
'Perhaps not...but in my reality...the world that I come from, things go down like that...and as people fall...I rise to take their souls and to either spare them or make them suffer...but I prefer to make them suffer because so far not a single damn one is smart enough to realize what they have been doing with their lives, learned from their mistakes, and do not waste their time.
'And you're no different from the humans. You had potential, a chance, but you fail miserably. Maybe at first you had it going, you had a good motto, a good group to start off with...you even had your dearest mother to lead them perhaps...and now that she is dead...they will be slowly falling one by one as you're replaced by fools who do not even realize what their origins come from...so in the end...you're wasting your damn time trying to fight me to the death. I'll give you a chance to redeem yourselves...go back home...take the day off...clear your mind of all the shit that you've seen and heard...and actually think straight...and perhaps in the end you may survive. If not...then you'll just fall like everyone else...and I'll watch you fall too...so go ahead...leave before I burn you and your kingdom alive."
First off, I'm unsure if TK meant what he said...I hope not that's how he feels...but I could be wrong. Second of all...I wonder how he knows about Fausticorn and how she is god...or at least the mother of Celestia and Luna...but then again he is smart and could get clues faster and hints as well...I did make him that way...although I still wonder if TK meant those words though. Although, I don't think he knew...I think he just got the hint that there was a mother involved.
Yeah I'm stupid sometimes...but that's what I get for doing this while flying on a phoenix. Anyways, it's kind of...kind of scary even now after so many years has passed since that happened...wondering if he would kill me. But I suppose it's up to one's thoughts to figure that part out. I mean you have the evidence, now it's up to one's mind to decide if that is the truth I guess. It's like the ending of Inception...will that top stop spinning or will there be more of a tuba blowing in my fucking ears and making me go deaf while giving me a bloody nose along with ruining movie trailers for years to come.
Anyways, TK had said all of that has he had walked up to them and made gestures that taunted the two princesses, while Celestia and Luna started to cry.
Soon, Celestia couldn't take it anymore and soon said as loud as she could, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up! Just shut your fucking mouth!"
Luna looked at her and she couldn't believe that she had dropped an F-bomb, especially in front of her little sister Luna. Granted, she wasn't the real Luna, nor was she a child, but it was still surprising to hear that from Celestia. Celestia also continued to cry as she yelled as well, as she gave her tolerance towards TK...which wasn't very much clearly.
Soon, TK looked at Celestia and said to her as he had his back turned to her and had his cocked to the side, to which then he said to her, "And so you fail once more. You do not accept the truth, so you fall far from everything that you say you stand for in your entire life. Go back to your kingdom now before I rip your throats out."
Soon, Celestia let all of her rage out and soon ran towards TK as he was slowly walking towards his throne, although I'm sure he had it all planed out though...and they both soon started to fight as Luna was there on stand-by, ready to fight or help Celestia if needed. Besides, she knew that she didn't need to get in her sisters way. Also, I know this doesn't mean much, but I'm kind of feeling weird when I write this in my journal that TK fought a simulation that exists in another world that wasn't Celestia. It's kind of weird actually.
But aside from that, Celestia had ran towards, or in this case galloped towards TK's back and soon had her eyes completely white while charging up her horn for some reason. She soon went towards TK's back and once she had cached up to him, she used her two front hooves to punch him hard in the back...and unlike TK's magical...devil abilities...this made contact and soon TK landed on the floor and that started the fight between a simulated Celestia and TK, that had a plan and I am assuming was planning to play along with the whole thing.
Soon TK slowly got up from the floor and once he was off the ground, since he landed face first, he looked at Celestia and he then said to her, "Alright then...I suppose I'll watch you burn now."
Then Celestia said as she was giving him a look that said she was going kill him and rip all of his organs out and feed it to the fishes, "Not if I bring down your kingdom, your throne, your will to live!"
TK then asked her a quick question, "I suppose you're a killer now?"
Celestia then said, "Only if I have a reason to be one."
And soon they both looked into each other's eyes and they started to run at each other, and soon Celestia jumped and was about to attack TK by using whatever she was going to do to him while up top, TK then slid underneath her jump, past Luna, and into the crowd of demons that TK ruled over. And soon as he was sliding into the crowd, he saw another white door at the end of the throne room and saw that the creature had just entered through it.
Soon TK stopped sliding on the floor and swiftly got back up on his two legs and looked towards Celestia as he saw she was on the ground once more and said, "I'm not wasting my time on you false souls."
And then he started to run, going quickly past the demons as some were confused as to what was happening while others simply got out of the way of TK as he ran towards them, as they knew that they do not want to mess with TK, or else he'll do something very bad towards them or something like that. The entire throne room wasn't that big, but it was a decent size to say...it was big, and so TK eventually made it to the other end of the room and went through the white door or portal or whatever you want to call it, you get the picture.
And soon TK was no more in that simulation, in that plain of existence. And so that plain of existence is forever alone without a single, real soul inside of it. When TK went through the portal thing, there was a bright light ahead of him and soon he was in another room. Where was this other room you might ask?
Well...it was another simulation, as the creature was still on the run. However, what it was this time, well he was outside of the universe, the typical area that TK knows, as well as I and Factory Dash. It was as if he had escaped all the simulations, but from what I could tell when TK was looking at his surroundings and taking note of his environment, it seemed to me that he knew it was still a simulation. However, he didn't see the creature in sight.
He wasn't there at all, nowhere to be seen whatsoever. And so TK was stuck unless he could figure something out on what to do. And soon he heard a familiar voice, a female voice to be exact. And when I mean by that, I mean by Factory Dash. I mean come on, who else is TK going to know that he knows and actually isn't pissed off at? I mean we're talking about TK here, clearly he wasn't going to mess around with the last simulation as that would have been a waste of time and energy to just fight a simulation.
The point is though is that this was simple and easy to understand that Factory Dash was there. However she wasn't there when TK entered. In fact, there was no trace of her ever being there, she just popped up, but this was another simulation after all, so random things could happen. And soon, TK saw Factory Dash, however she didn't look friendly. In fact, she seemed to be pissed at TK, wanted blood from TK, as if she was too powerful and was ready to stab her mentor in the back.
In fact as I recall in my old adventuring days...she did try and do that to us, but TK and I did end up convincing her that she didn't need to kill us. With TK, she can learn so much more from him and with me...well that's possibly why she hates me...because I kind of got nothing to offer her other than a chance to explore other worlds and stuff like that. So maybe she too would be wanting to kill me too. And when you think about it...it kind of sucks that TK and Factory Dash may or may not want to kill me, and the sad part is those are the only two that I really had adventures with...so really in truth if they did try and kill me, I would end up killing them and I would be on my own.
But then again that hasn't happened, but it is an interesting thought though when you do think about it. Anyways, Factory Dash was circling TK, giving him an evil look in her eyes. In fact, she had no pupils, she had just white washed eyes and looked like if Luna was pissed off. Then again she is pretty much like Luna in a way...she did try to kill me and TK...turned evil, but than again she does come from the Rainbow Factory universe, so what do you expect?
Anyways, she was circling TK and TK was watching her, following her as she circled around him from a far distance. TK finally asked her after about three minutes, "What are you doing?"
Factory Dash was silent, until she stopped in her tracks and gave her full energy and attention to TK and finally said to TK, "I'm doing what you trained me to do, what else do you think I'm doing?"
TK then asked, "I've trained you to do a lot of things, so what in particular are you doing?"
Factory Dash then said, "Haven't you figured it out yet? I'm studying you, for you have taught me that with every enemy that I face, for every kill that is mine, I must study their said movements and what they will do next. I must predict what they may or may not do. I must do so in order to kill them and make them suffer."
TK then said, "So then...you're doing it again I suppose. You're turning back into your evil self, where you try to stab me in the back because you find me useless."
Factory then asked, "What is 'evil' TK? In fact what is 'useless' to you TK? What are those two things may I ask?"
TK didn't answer anything at all, he just stood there in complete and utter silence.
Soon Factory Dash, at least a simulated one broke the silence and asked once more, but this time with a bit more of an aggressive tone in her voice, "Tell me now TK. What are those things to you?"
TK then said, "Many things mean something to me Dash. However, what it means to be useless and evil is not important to me as of this moment. In other words, I don't give a fuck."
Factory Dash then circled TK a little bit more, but while she was doing so, she then asked as she shot him a look that she was being agitated, "Then what are you doing with Knight TK? What are doing with him and trying to hunt TF down? Is it because he is evil or is it because you just want him dead personally."
TK then said nothing at all and stood there, to which that made Factory Dash think and gave her an answer somehow by his complete silence.
Factory dash then said, "I get it now. I get it all now TK. Fine, but at least tell me what you see as evil and useless then. Besides, I know you don't want to bother at being angered and using your strength to fight me right now...you're just a beast that just wants to be left alone in his little cave."
TK then said, "What I see as useless and evil? Well how about I start with evil first then?"
Factory Dash then said with a look of interest within her eyes, curious as what TK had to say, "Go ahead...I'm listening."
TK then said, "As to what I see as evil....I see everything as evil. I see everything has a potential of being evil. However my connotation of the word evil is that someone needs to be a monster. A monster that all fears, a monster that has no feelings and has no consideration for others. But then I also view evil with others you don't expect. As I said, I see everything to be evil, that has the potential of being evil. I always keep an eye on things, watch my back, always aware of what is happening around me. That is how I was made."
Factory then said to herself, "Interesting...and so do you see Knight has being evil I assume?"
TK then said, "Yes...he has the potential. He could simply embrace being a monster, killing anyone in his path without a single thought or care in his actions. I know because I've been watching him, to see what he might do, I saw what he has been through. He has come such a long way I'll tell you that on that very first day. I even seen him grow...from a human to something else. In a way, I've seen all the ways he has made me proud of him, not in a happy way, but to see him progress and get away from his humanity. I remember that day when he proved himself he was ready to move on from being human.
'But then again you might ask as to what defines having humanity. To me, if you feel sympathy for those who are hurt and the weak, those who try to revolutionize things, be different, make things better, but eventually turn to shit in five years...that's what is having humanity is all about. You have good intentions, but you don't think it through and end up making all of the hard work meant for nothing and it all goes to shit one day. That is what it means. And while Knight still has a little of that in him, he is still not human anymore. He is something more. As for what I find useless, I find those who have nothing to offer at all in their lives...and so why have someone who has nothing to offer. So I would shoot them, but now I don't even care anymore.
'That was years ago when I was like that. Now...I'll find a use out of them...just like what you do at the Rainbow Factory. You make rainbows out of them...I make fuel out of them...I devour their souls and gain more power...if I need it that is. However their souls only fuels part of my strength, so I would need so many to be strong, but having an evil soul though...just one will do it for me. And so there you go Dash...there's my meanings behind those words that you asked for. So...may I ask what will you do next, for I am your mentor am I not? I want to see what has the student learned from its teacher before showing her actions."
Factory Dash then said, "Fair point, but then again why should I tell you...shouldn't my attacks be a surprise so you won't see it coming?"
TK then said, "All attacks can be seen coming from a mile away if trained properly...the only way you won't see an attack coming if you're a ghost, and to me you're not a ghost. I know you, and you know me, so we shall have trouble fighting one another then."
Factory then formed a little grin on her face and then she then said as she stared at TK, getting ready for battle, said, "Alright then...I thought I try. But what the hay...I've got it in me to fight you."
Factory Dash then instantly came charging at TK, and before she got to twenty one feet to TK, she slept into the air and had a hidden blade that could pierce through TK's tough armor, especially the devil's suit of armor. TK looked at Factory Dash as she swiftly leapt into the air, as she was ready to take her own mentor's life away as she was preparing for the impact to happen.
But soon TK took out a shotgun, the Devil's Shotgun that is, quickly and shot Factory Dash directly in the face. The bullet had a direct hit on her face, blowing half of it off once it all landed on all her face, to the point where there was no way of taking away the pain and the blood, so she would soon be dead.
Also, the blast from the shot gun was strong and the bullets were strong as well, to which it pushed Factory Dash when it landed on her face back a few feet, up to thirty nine feet I believe, away from TK from where she leapt. As she landed, TK knew that she was down for good and gently rest the gun by his right side as the smoke came out of it. And since it was a devil's shotgun, the gun itself was a blaze and only the devil himself can touch it without feeling the burning sensation of the fire that engulfed the shotgun.
Soon Factory Dash moaned with pain and agony, as she was still half alive. TK saw this and he soon looked up, to which case he then turned around, but yet he didn't see anything from before Factory Dash started to talk to him.
TK then broke the silence and said, "You expect me to have a challenge like that? I know for a fact that this is a simulation! I know for a fact that this isn't even how the real factory Dash would act, even if she did want to kill me. That simulated Dash right there is just a fool! I know that the real Dash wouldn't just leap into the air and take out the hidden blade that I gave her to kill me. She would be smart and tactical, she would hide like a ghost and use her wings to her advantage to attack. This is just pathetic. So come out now and face me! Right now I'm not in the fucking mood to even deal with this!"
Soon TK heard the creature's voice once more and then he said, "Oh...but it's not over yet my precious TK. I still have a chance to break you."
Soon TK saw a flash of white light, but was not bothered by it. After a few seconds of being in the bright white light, the light soon died down and it had seemed that he had left the previous simulation for another. This time, he was somewhere else that he recognized from his past when he was alive.
This time, he was in a future like city, what seemed to be like no another planet. This time, he was in the year 6000, similar in his universe where he came from. In other words, the back story that I made from him before any of this ever happened in the first place of me finding the portal to the outside of the universe.
There were tall buildings of futuristic design all around him. Some were apartments while others were just simple businesses. There were no alien creatures however in this planet that wasn't Earth, but more or less just human occupied.
It was also night and the stars were out in the sky as high as they could be, while looking very different then what Earth ever had when you looked at the stars from there. However, TK knew this place as he has been there before because it was his universe, the one that I made him from. And that Earth was inhabitable for many years in the year 3500, but as centuries went by, Earth healed itself and was habitable once more, but the humans decided to preserve it and to never let anything happen to their place of origin.
TK knew that, because I know that since I did make his back story after all. He even knew that humanity has explored and colonized many planets with many years as they went by.
And TK went to the year 6000 before as part of his universe, where he came from. Soon it started to rain in the city he was in, but yet not a single human insight was in the city.
TK looked towards the ground and I can't tell what he was thinking when he did that, but he then soon said, "You can put the gun down now Ryan."
TK knew that someone was pointing a gun behind him. The man was wearing nothing but white, a white shirt and white pants, but his shoes were black. His skin color was white, obviously, or else there would be so many jokes about whatever race he would have been it would have blown your head off.
But anyways, Ryan had blight colored brown hair and had a face that sort of looked like Mark Walberg for some reason. He had blue eyes and was holding a silver gun, pointed at TK's head, however he wasn't holding with confidence.
He was holding it with fear in his heart, in fact he only had one hand on the gun while the other one was by his side as he looked sad for whatever reason that he may have had to be down in the dumps at that very moment.
Ryan spoke up and said, "Why Knight...why did you have to let him die? You promised me that he would be alright."
TK then raised his head up and looked at Ryan and said, "I'm sorry about your son, I'm sorry about him, but you must understand that it wasn't my fault. He got in my way is all, so really it's your fault for not trying to get a hold of him to keep him out of the line of fire."
Ryan then started to shiver and the gun started to shake as well as Ryan said, "My son is gone because of you...I can't even think straight, let alone remember much other than his death...I mean I can't think clearly because of that Knight!"
TK then said to him, "Then let me refresh your memory Ryan. Let's start from the beginning shall we? On that night, you found me along the side of a rode while it was raining, just like this one, and you picked me up and brought me into your home. You didn't bring me to a hospital that night, you simply brought me inside to your home with your wife Brooke and son, your little family. Soon, things happened, I learned that you were a scientist, a good one at that, and you helped me and I helped you. I also promised you that no harm would come to your family, which once again I'm sorry about that. Well, Soon I came here for what I was looking for and went back to my time, the year 2011.
'And so on, I came back to the year 6000, for the Christmas season, for an evil machine that was attacking your home and such, for an alternate, robotic me that I made that tried to take my life and become the new me, but I killed him though, and many other instances when I came back as well. But then on that last time when I was hunting down one person down that I didn't kill or didn't make sure that was dead, your son was in the line of my gun and he was killed."
Ryan then looked a bit confused for a moment. Then he made a look on his face as if everything finally came to his mind.
Ryan then said, "Oh right...now I remember...I remember it all...and the thing was I was trying to forget. Forget the memories, forget the pain that you have caused me, forget everything that has happened. I don't want to remember the bad things in life Knight...I just want to remember the good, all the fun I had with my son, the times that weren't so bad you know?"
TK then said to him, "And you think by shooting me is going to make everything better? That it will make you forget what you have done and what has happened? The truth is...that'll never happen, you will always remember, it will always be a part of your past. No matter how much you try and erase the past, no matter how dark it is...your memories will always be a part of your past forever. Just like with every nation, every military, every person, there is something bad about them, but it will always be with them no matter what they do. Try and get rid of it by refusing to remembering it will only cause more damage than good. So how about you put that gun down Ryan?
'And maybe you can turn around and go back home, sit down in a comfy chair, maybe even build a bookshelf and fill it with books. Then you can just build another bookshelf and make as much as you want, it's freedom like that you know you can't put a price on. But if you pull that trigger and shoot me down, you'll never be free from what has happened, you'll never avenge your son's death. Only by putting the gun down and walking away, you can live life, continue it to the point where you accept what has happened, but you will not try and do anything about it as what has happened in the past, stays in the past. That you will have freedom and the burden of your son's death will no longer linger over your head like a demon.
'Not only that, but you also have the freedom to whatever drugs you want to try and forget, to forget who I am, maybe even take some painkillers to try and take the pain away. To make all the bad thoughts go away for a while, but always remember it will forever be there and there is nothing you can do about it as it stays in the past for good. Hell, you might even get addicted to those painkillers, where you can't stop and never want to feel that pain that ales you of memory's past. So...what will it be Ryan? Will you put the gun down, forgive, forget, earn your freedom to be free from your burden? Or will it be that you shoot me down and kill me to try and avenge your son's death and you forever will have a ghost lingering over you for the rest of your life? It's your choice Ryan."
Ryan didn't say a word, he just looked at the ground, trying to think of what TK had just said to him. He wasn't sure whether to listen to him or not. He couldn't just make up his mind as the rain continued to pour over him.
Soon, however, Ryan broke the silence and said, "But...my son Knight...my son...I don't want to forget about him...I want to remember, I want to make sure his death wasn't in vein..."
So ion TK said, "In vain for what? You're just talking nonsense right now. Shut up and clear your mind and make a decision, for what you do from here will determine your future of how your life will be. So what will it be Ryan?"
Ryan was once again silent...but he finally said after a few seconds of nothing and just standing there thinking, "I'll give up Knight...I...I trust you Knight."
Ryan then raised his left hand and grabbed the gun by the handle, to which then he let his left arm fall to his side and let go of the gun and let it drop to the ground. However, Ryan was looking at the ground and crying. TK walked over, and as he was doing so, Ryan fell to his knees and started to cry his eyes out, to which then TK went to the gun that Ryan dropped to the ground and looked at it.
He looked at the sides, the grip, even the barrel of the gun by looking through the hole where the bullet would come out if it had been fired at least once. TK then looked at Ryan, to which case he then pointed the gun at Ryan's head and put a bullet in Ryan's head. The bullet pierced through Ryan's skull very cleanly and only a little mess was made with his blood. TK didn't even give Ryan a chance to talk or let him know that he was about to do it.
TK then said as the smoke from the gun slowly was leaving the barrel and said as he was looking at the gun and inspecting it, "I don't give a single fuck about a simulated Ryan, or else I would have left him alone to wallow in his own pity."
TK then looked towards the sky, to which then he yelled out, "Stop fucking hiding! You're only wasting your time! I will find you and I will fucking put a bullet between your eyes and one in both of your eye sockets...you fucking hear me!?"
Soon, TK heard the creature's voice once more and TK heard loud and clear, "Oh but there is still something left to go TK, let's see if you can't take this simulation. This one shall make you question your loyalty."
Soon, everything around TK disappeared in a bright flash of light and soon TK was out of the simulation that existed on another plain of existence and soon TK was in another simulation.
He wasn't sure what it would be this time, by TK was holding out it seemed to kill that creature that was messing around with him and his temper. Well, as soon as the bright light faded back down to a normal visible light, TK was back outside the universe once more, but there was no dead Factory Dash body.
No...this time there was no one with him and he was standing in the middle of the room like a sore thumb. TK looked around in the simulation to make sure the creature wasn't pulling any tricks on him, but he was in the room...alone. TK didn't even say a single word about it too. All he did was just looked around and tried to figure out what to do next. However, suddenly the room went dark, and then a light shined on TK. It was a big one too and he was at the edge of the light that would go back into the darkness, as if this was some sort of show of some kind.
So, of course since there was space to fill in the spotlight, a tall figure that was old, but yet had a dark red color on this thing walked into the spotlight, across from TK. There's not much else I can describe him, as he was a bit of a blur, but to TK, he knew what this thing was. In fact, he knew who he was...he was Satan himself, the Satan that he killed back in his universe.
Once he saw him, he said, "Lucifer...didn't expect to see you here...interesting...I wonder why you're part of the simulation. As I recall, I didn't give a single fuck about you. I killed you and took your throne and became the new devil of my universe. So...let's get this over with...why are you here?"
Then Lucifer said with an old type of voice, "I came here? Why...you need some help. You need some help on being the devil Knight. Why...you're weak and you need some advice on how to be strong."
TK then asked him, "What do you mean by that?"
Lucifer then said, "Well...you killed me...you killed the alpha. So it is your time to rule with an iron fist and become the devil. And with that said, you have everything that you could ask for really when you're the devil. You have power, freedom, an army of the undead, you have so much power at your hands..but yet you let all of that go to waste...why is that?"
TK then said, "I'm not sure what you're talking about exactly. All I'm doing is what is a fair balance. I don't give a fuck about how much power that I have...I'm not interested in that stuff. All I want is to rule with a balance between heaven and hell. Why does it matter to you that I waste the potential of the powers?"
Then Lucifer said next, "Well, I hate to see it all go to waste, especially with someone like you. You character is interesting, on how you act and feel. Do you even feel?"
TK then was silent for a bit, but he then said, "'Why does it matter if I feel? It doesn't matter, it's just emotions, and in the end they can get in the way of more important things in life. So I try not to associate myself with 'feelings."
Lucifer then said, "Interesting. You know I do believe I can help you to use those powers of your...I can even tell you your problem as to why you are so weak at being the devil."
TK then said, "I told you I am not interested."
Lucifer then said, "Oh...but you will be...you're being held back Knight...by your creator. Your creator is holding you back Knight..."
TK then asked as Lucifer walked around a bit, "How so if I may ask."
Lucifer then had a little smirk on his face I believe and then said, "Well for starters...both of you have the same names...wouldn't it be great to just be called by your name...Knight? Not only to mention he doesn't deserve the name of Knight. Sure he tries to protect...but only you're good at that part. Next, you have that he is your creator...your god. And you bow down to him and kiss his ass pretty much every time you see him. You don't try and kill him, you don't disobey orders from him. Why is that Knight?"
TK then said, "Because he is the one who created me. If it wasn't for him...I wouldn't be alive...I wouldn't be alive right now and so I must be thankful for that."
Lucifer then said, "Is that so? You know...god created me. I was once an angel of his, I had my wings. I did what I was told...but one day I thought about it and I wanted to be free. I didn't want to do what god told me to do...so I rebelled against him...and you know the rest...sent me down to hell and became the ruler of hell. And now you have taken my powers and it all comes around full circle...doesn't it? Your god Knight...you know deep inside you want to devour his soul.
'You want to kill him. You want to see inside him and see what makes him ticks. You want to be free like so many others out there, but yet you control yourself. Why Knight...why? You could be free, but instead you stick with your god that isn't even superior to you. He's nothing but a little pest compared to you Knight. Sure, he might know one weakness about you to kill you in case anything happens...but it's only one...and he has many. Use that to your advantage and kill him, eat his soul, tear him from limb from limb. You know you want to...especially eating his soul."
TK was just standing there, it would seem that he was thinking of what he was saying to him...maybe even considering it...which is in a way clearly not a good sign. Of course to me as of right now, I don't care as that time has passed and was long ago when that happened. But it was told to TK that he should embrace his devil side and not listen to his creator. Rebel and be free from me.
However, soon TK then said to the old devil that he had killed long ago, "I'm not sure why you're telling me this, I'm not sure why you're trying to convince me that my creator, Knight, should be killed by my own hand...but I do know this. I know that there was a reason why I killed you...that I took your power and became the new devil because you didn't keep the balance between good and evil.
'You wanted to it all to be yours, from the heavens to the land of the living...but that is not how it works. One land mustn't be filled with happiness entirely, nor filled with despair entirely. It must all be kept at a balance. There must be war and peace. There must be happiness and sadness. There must be calmness and hatred. In the end...it all balances out. That is how it should be.
'And so there must be a creator and a creation, so I will not kill my creator at all. Granted...his soul does interest me, but temptations is only one of many things that many should try and resist. So in the end...I don't give a fuck what you say to me or what I should do. And besides, you're dead. All you're are is just a simulation. Sure, a simulation that could harm me...but in the end not the one that I killed, for you are only just something that does not exist in reality."
TK walked up to the old devil, as that devil had a scared face and looked nervous. Soon, TK was face to face with that old devil and was near him. Soon, TK grabbed out his devil shotgun and pointed at that old devil's head and pulled the trigger.
Bullets showered out of the barrel and landed on the old devil's face. However, instead of bloods and guts, the old devil started to break into bits and pieces, like a digitize model of some kind. Soon, those bits and pieces disappeared into thin air, as if he didn't exist at all.
After Lucifer disappeared, TK put the gun down and looked around to see what would happen next.
He was still in the spotlight with the darkness around him. Soon, he heard a loud voice, something speaking.
It was the creature of course, but TK looked to the sky, wondering where it was coming from, and it was saying to TK, "Why...Why will you not break dam it! Why will you not see that you are not strong, why can you not be broken!?"
TK then said out loud, "Because I'm already broken you son of a bitch."
Soon, the creature didn't say another word and TK saw another flash of light. However, soon TK was able to see again, but everything around him was still a flash of light. As if he was in some sort of afterlife where everything was white.
He was for sure he wasn't outside of the universe though, so for TK, he was confused as to where he was, at least from what I could tell from his body actions, as he looked around, but didn't look sure where he was at. For all I know, his helmet told him that he was in an unknown place. There wasn't even the mysterious creature to be found as well.
TK kept walking though, perhaps was trying to figure what to do next, until of course he saw something being made in front him in the distance. What was being made in front of him in real time was a metal railing looking over a beautiful plot of land filled with trees, kind animals, with one side of it having the sun out. As if this was some sort of children's book being made.
TK started to walk towards this place, and by the time he got it, it stopped being made, as if him being there interrupted everything that was under construction. Everything behind TK was still pure white space, but in front of him was the beautiful land. TK looked over the land and soon leaned forward against the railed. Soon, TK looked to the right of him and soon saw a figure walking forwards towards him.
However, as the figure got closer, it seemed that TK recognized him, or at least he should have, as it was Lawman, his old partner.
Lawman had his old brown dust coat that belonged in a western film. He had his black eye patch on his right eye and his sniper rifle on the back of him. He also had a hand gun at his side as usual, or at least as I recall from the adventures we had together.
Then again I only mentioned him once or twice before, so there will be plenty of cow tippers out there complaining, but those cow tippers can go milk a cow. A female cow that is...and go fuck that cow too. Anyways, Lawman looked confused as to where he was going.
TK saw this, but instead of showing joy in his body language, he said, "So...you're the next simulation then? My old partner?"
Lawman saw him, and said while walking towards him, "Simulation? What the fuck are you talking about TK? It's me...Lawman. It's sure nice to see you again after being dead for so long."
Lawman at this point finally got up to TK and was at the metal railing.
Soon TK said, "So you're are aware of who you are, that you're not a fake Lawman made by whatever that creature was. You won't try to kill me or convince me of my past actions and try and do something different. Am I right?"
Lawman then said, "Sure...whatever that fucking means. All I know is that after that explosion and you gave me my last cigar while I was alive and was slowly dying, I went to this void that was called Heaven. apparently killing others my whole life wasn't such a favorable thing in god's eye, at least not Knight's, but our universe's god, the one with the white beard. Apparently he told me I should be facing eternal imprisonment in the Lake of Fire. But for whatever reason he let me in for whatever reasons I'm not sure.
'But if I had to guess, he wasn't putting the entire blame on me and was looking to point the finger at you since you're the cold blooded killer here. But as I recall, I heard you and some other dead folks that when you was about to face that God's judgment and wrath, you somehow escaped and went to hell to face the devil himself. And the next thing that I heard, you became the new devil and started to work with god to create an even balance. In which case, I lived throughout heaven and then somehow ended up here. What is this place anyway?"
TK then said, "I'm not sure. My helmet cannot make heads or tails of this place. But I was thinking it was a simulation. But since I saw you how you acted, I'm guessing this isn't a simulation anymore and that we're in some sort of new reality that neither of us can think of. In which case, how are you?"
Lawman then had a little smile form on his face as he laid against the railing and looked at TK and said, "Finally, you showed a little thoughtfulness within you. So...how's your life going so far TK old buddy?"
TK then said, "Well, my life is over as you see. I am alive, but truly it is not alive, for I am the devil and..."
Lawman then cut him off and said, "Yeah yeah yeah...I don't need to hear one of your philosophical speeches that is supposed to make me think twice about how I live my life and how I view things. Honestly I've got enough from that when I was live. Just tell me what happened after I died."
TK then said as they both looked over the railings while Lawman stared at TK as well, "Well, for starters Knight came back."
Lawman then said, "Well that's not all that surprising...come on...give me the good stuff...give me the stuff that's not boring."
TK then said, "I've forgotten how you were. So adventurous..."
Lawman then said to himself quietly, "Oh great...here he goes..."
He said that while mumbling to himself in a disappointing tone of voice, but TK didn't hear it and instead went off on his own.
TK then continued to say, "I remembered when I first met you. Honestly, I remember just being a regular person out in the world, just like everyone else. And I know back in those days I had feelings, I felt love and compassion, but what I didn't think was going to happen was that I was going to be broken...to forget my feelings, my fears, my compassion for humanity.
'I didn't think that I was going to meet someone like you even. But then that day happened...that one day when I was broken and saw the world from a new light. A new view of things, and on that day forth...I became the demon that I am now. But of course, I remember it all, I needed to be trained properly if I was going to be living this 'new life.' So I went to Japan in the Early 2000's and found someone isolated from all of society and he was some man who lived on the mountain by himself. He taught me how to fight, how to be strong, he was surly wise.
'I respected him. However I remember when that damn group came on to the mountain and invaded the area, so I ended up just trying to destroy their base camps, uncover their secrets. And soon my master died and I was off back home alone. Then I started to form a plan while finding a new home. And that first step was to grab a certain group of very powerful people in that world's attention. So...I ended up hunting down and brought to justice a few mob bosses, criminals, rapists, and soon I was all over the news. The news being that I was some sort of vigilante. Some thought I was a hero, some thought I was doing wrong. But of course that is what I wanted them to think.
'Soon I knew I grabbed that certain group's attention and soon they started to come after me with their military. But of course you know that since I came looking for your help and others as well. And soon we fought off that military and grabbed the information on all the members in the group, and we all started to hunt them down like dogs one by one. Killing them, making them suffer. Some hid in Japan, while others in England or in the Middle East. There were also times where we went to the year 6000 for whatever reason. Then that day came when we all thought it was over after I hunted the member's offspring and killed them all...except I mistakenly left one alive by accident.
'And so it was a game of wits for me between with me and that one kid who I left alive...and so you all died...especially you. And so...in the end I killed the one that got away, but you know what happened from there. I died and went to heaven...then to hell to kill the devil himself. And then I took his power and became the new power and..."
Lawman then said, "Yeah...I got that bit already...I just wanted to know what happened after I DIED?"
TK then said, "Right...after you died, Knight didn't come back until a few years later when the team disbanded and all died except for me and Factory Dash. Soon Knight came back and spent a long time alone by himself. I even recall seeing him with a dark spirit that looked like me, as if he was going insane, but he wasn't. It was just a part of him telling him that he is alone with no friends. But long story short, Knight wanted to go to a My Little Pony universe and live there, and so I helped him move."
Lawman then said, "So the kid actually got to go to a universe like that huh? Well...can't say he was weird though about liking that weird girly show. But whatever, what else?"
TK then said, "We were not so lucky as TF came hunting us down as we were in the universe at the time, to the point where he blew us all three of us from a cliff side and got separated. He got me back outside of the universe and somehow trapped me there and unable to go back to that universe for some time, TF seemed to have been lost for a long time. As for Knight, apparently he was founded by some princess, the leader and became a personal student of hers as she saw he had great magical power within him and soon was going to school. Soon she had orders for him to go to a small time called Stalia for various reasons and as of right now, more shit is going down then I had thought."
Lawman then asked TK, "And what did you think was going to happen?"
TK then said, "I thought perhaps Knight would give up on the whole universe thing and settle down, I'll do my job, Factory dash would do hers, and Knight would be at peace with his universe. But instead, it seems to me that once he entered that universe of the ponies...shit was never the same again. As in we got into things that we shouldn't have gotten into. Then again I wonder if he was meant to go through that portal, in which case there are a lot of mysteries to answer, but for right now we're starting out small. but surely in the end...everything will reveal itself and we will see that we got ourselves into something big. But until that day comes...we're still trying to wonder what the fuck is going around us."
Lawman then said, "I see...and...that's all what happened after I was gone? Nothing to do with Earth or whatnot?"
TK then looked at Lawman with silence in his action.
To Lawman, he got the message loud and clear and said, "Got it...it's boring without me. Well...I would love to stay here and catch up with you...but I feel like wanting to get the fuck out of here. So...any ideas where we are?"
TK then looked around and then said, "I am unable to find out. However, if I had to guess, I would assume that we are in some sort of realm that no one can access unless otherwise. Not only that, but it seems to connect the living and the dead. A path you might call it. Or an even better example, a path that leads to the afterlife. So it exists on both plains of reality. Lawman then said, "Well here's a good question for you...what is reality? I mean surely there is not only just one since you went through all of those universes."
TK then said as he looked at him, "Didn't know you were interested in science."
Lawman then said, "I'm not, just making a guess from all of the things you've said in the past. Also, why is there a railing here overlooking that place?"
Lawman then pointed to the only area that had any life to it. TK then responded back with, "I am unsure. Like I said, this seems to be the place where you transition to the afterlife. Perhaps this is merely a window that neither of us can pass through that over looks upon the living side of everything"
Lawman then asked a question to TK, "Hey...where do you go if you die outside of the universe?"
TK then said, "That I am unsure. Perhaps if I had to guess, through here and maybe you'll end up somewhere that is appropriate for where you ended up dying at. Maybe...or maybe this is the afterlife. But if I had to bet on one, I would bet this is where one would transition. Other than that, I'm unsure how to get out of here."
Lawman then asked TK, "Well how did you get here in the first place?"
TK then said, "I just ended up here when a bright light blinded my vision."
Lawman then said, "Huh...weird...me too. Perhaps if we just went our separate ways...maybe the blinding light will come again and whisk us away to our homes."
TK then thought for a bit it seemed and then finally spoke, "Perhaps. But if it doesn't work, we might be lost and never see each other again."
Lawman then said, "Well if that's the case then...see you around if I ever do. If not...well I just want to say it was good working with you back in our universe, but not so much with that kid."
TK then said as he extended his arm out for a firm handshake for a goodbye to Lawman, "He's not a kid anymore you know. He's something else...he's more than just a kid."
Lawman then said with a smirk on his face, "Yeah...he'll forever be a kid in my book. Well...goodbye Knight. It was nice knowing you."
Soon they both started to walk towards the direction that they came from. And soon they walked so far that they couldn't see each other anymore. TK was then by himself, but soon TK's theory came to reality and a blinding light came into view and blinded his vision and soon the light died down and he was back in the castle.
If I had to guess, this wasn't a simulation...it was the real thing. However, TK felt something was off. TK looked around and he was back in the same hallway when he left. In fact, he was in the doorframe to the room he was about to enter when he knew something was behind it and went into a few simulations.
However, it turned out that the doorway led to an ordinary room with a table and chair and that was all. as if all that TK went through had not happened whatsoever. As if everything was for nothing. However, TK didn't hear the guard from before. The guard that easily surrendered. He didn't hear anything at all. In fact...all he heard was silence of the night. In fact, when TK got back, not much time had passed. TK was only gone for thirty minutes and that was all.
TK went out of the doorframe to look around the corner where he last saw the guard, and what he saw was something he didn't expect. The guard was decapitated and there was blood stains everywhere. Even the guard that he had knocked when he first came through the window had his eye balls gouged out and his heart ripped out. TK, however, didn't react in shock or horrified by the scene...he just stood there looking at the mess. And I would assume he would use something in his helmet as well that did something that would help him figure out what happened.
As he was doing that, or at least I'm guessing...he was walking closer to the scene to get a closer look, but what he didn't know was that the creature that he was chasing after through all of those simulations was lurking right behind him and was creeping up behind him ready to take its kill. It soon had red glowing eyes as he had claws on all of his four legs ready to attack. Then...the creature jumped in mid air and was about to pounce TK...if it wasn't for TK knowing what was going on behind and him and swiftly TK turned around and at the last microsecond.
TK held his right hoof out and finally caught the creature by the neck that he had been chasing for a good while. The creature was caught by surprise and didn't know what to do next, and so, the creature started to struggle. As he was struggling, TK was on his two back legs, and trying to get a hold of the creature. Soon TK punched the creature in the head a few times until it finally gave up and was ready to do whatever TK wanted him to do.
And so, TK then said, "Who are you?"
The creature then said, "Who am I? What are you? You were supposed to be broken, to become weakened on the inside. How...how were you able to still stand?"
TK then said, "Like I said, I'm already broken. So...tell me...what is your name and where did you come from?"
The creature then said, "My name is Beast, or at least that was my nickname that I was given many years ago. Honestly I don't have a name. In all honesty, I was just born one day, no species, no parents, nothing. I'm just one of a kind."
Beast then had a small little grin form on his face, as if he made a laughable joke at...but let's be honest here...at least he isn't Adam Sandler. Anyways, TK then punched Beast in the face one more time to wipe that grin off his face.
TK then said loudly, "I'm not in the fucking mood right now for you to waste my time!"
Beast then said, "Fine then...like I said...I have no name, no home, no country that I stand for, nothing at all. I have no morals, values, rules, I just do what I do. I am my own self. I am free, but not truly free, for that would mean I would need to be god where everything is free, but none of us are a god...not even you. However, I will admit, we both have something in common, we are both very old animals.
'I've lived long enough to see the birth of the ponies and of Equestria. I practically was born at the beginning of the universe really, but not quite. But, I do believe I am one of the original ones that lived here on this planet. Aside from that, where I come from, not even I know that. However, if you're asking where I came from tonight...that I do know. I recently escaped my prison from the garden of this castle, where I was encased in stone by the Alicorn Circle.
'However, that was many...many years ago, and it seems that they no longer exist. It seems from what I've looked around the place is that it is being run by two Princesses, maybe more, but of course I don't care. All I want to do is get out of here and go somewhere far away from here...at least for now that is. Honestly I don't even have a purpose to live, but yet I'm somehow still alive, so I'll find out a purpose for me...or maybe even make one. I'll even come back here maybe, not for revenge, but just for the heck of it."
TK then asked, "If you were just wanting to get out, then why didn't you just head straight for the door? No one is bothering you. Hell, I'm willing to bet no one knows what you are even or your existence."
Beast then said, "Well, I am low on energy. I need my strength back from being in that stone prison for so long. So killing guards and feeding on their internal organs will do it for me until I have a temporary place to stay at. Perhaps the mountains. But as for you though...I can tell that I had to kill you. Not to feed on your flesh, but to do what I seemed to have been made for...perhaps by god even...perhaps by this universe."
TK then asked him, "What skills do you posse then?"
Beast then said, "Well...I simply create simulations that somehow exist in some other dimension. I'm not sure how or why, as I said, I was born all alone somehow and have no clue what I am even. But I am able to do it somehow. So, I can go into other's minds and even read them, see their weaknesses, past, pretty much everything about them I can tell. Not quite everything obviously, but of course I figured out one day many years ago, if I break these ponies, I can somehow feed upon their weak souls. Not to gain energy, but to feel comfort, a sense of warmth pleasure that only I can somehow feel. In a way, it's sort of like an addiction. but it also helps me evolve it seems, as I slowly get stronger every time I am able to do it. Aside from that, I have no clue what else there is about me. So you can put me down now, as I clearly have failed to kill you. "
TK then asked one more question, "Why did you come after me then and not any of the other guards?"
Beast then said, "All of those guards are boring. I've seen these lives before, but you...you're interesting, that's why I tried to break you. Now...I believe we should part ways."
Beast then somehow got its grip on TK's forearm that was holding him by the neck and clawed through TK's armor and strangely enough this is the first time this has happened, he felt pain. Usually the suit and being the devil doesn't hurt him much, but he got hurt this time, but no blood came out since...you know...he's the devil and shit. I'm sure that part is obvious to figure out you fucking cow tippers.
You mother fucking...cow tippers...whose mothers are actually cows and you fuck said cows...because you're cow tippers. And then strangely enough get aroused by the utters and soon fuck those too until your brains are blown out. Aside from the truth, Beast soon quickly leapt in the air as he was free and landed on a nearby window sill and was facing towards the nearby mountains that was located near Cantorlot, well sort of but not really.
However, before he left as TK was putting pressure on the wound that Beast had made, he looked back at TK and said to him, "Don't think I won't try and kill you if I see you again. And next time I'll be evolved."
and then Beast leapt out the window, but TK saw it quickly leave and then focused more attention to his wound. When TK saw the wound, it wasn't that big of a deal, but somehow TK did something, possibly something to do with being the devil, and somehow healed his wound, but just like everything else with his devil powers, he needs souls most likely to do that.
And so, as all the guards were gone from the floor he was on, TK went ahead and went out the same window that Beast went out of and continued his climb up to the next floor. And yes...he used those claw thingy stuff again...you fucking cow tippers.
Knight:
I must say...TK's story on that one seemed a lot longer and complicated than mine was. I mean shit...he gets all of this dark and serious stuff, I get stuck with the weird and the wacky stuff...I just noticed that as I'm writing this down in my journal...maybe because it's night time. Oh well, I just find that to be odd, but then again I suppose if I were in his shoes...I would have messed it up somehow or have become broken from within and died.
Anyways, I suppose if we can get past the complainers...we can continue on with my side of the story of the amazing Second Floor. I mean...it's purely magical in a way. I mean...the second floor...just the best thing ever since sliced bread. Forget the first floor, third floor, three hundred fourth floor, fuck floor, killing floor, the second floor is where it's at. It's where all the cool kids hang out at, and if you don't go to the second floor, then you're a nerd...that's square...in which case you might want to be checked out by a doctor if you're a square because your physical form might kill you...unless you're Lego of course, in which case go right ahead.
Anyways, I took that elevator thing up to the second floor after I came into contact with a small caterpillar named Jizzy G...and killed a pony that ate his own cum while jacking off to Luna and Cadence of being naughty night nurses...although up at this point, after hearing so much about eating cum...I became curious as to what it actually tastes like other than it being salty.
But then again...no one needs to know what it's like. If anything...it might just be something that should never have been asked in the first place. But aside from that, I was begin raised to the second floor, and the elevator went through a shaft type of thing, a hole I suppose that went past the first floor and straight to the second floor.
In fact, the elevator didn't make much noise either, so that was good news in a way. Once I reached my destination to the second floor, there was a little door that I had to open in order to exit the elevator, as in the elevator brought me into a little room that would seem it would be fit for a broom closet, but instead it was a little hidden room that was an elevator, in which case that cum eating pony lied to me again.
Well, I opened the door that was in front of me and I then saw light, as the room that I was in was completely dark and had little to offer other than a small service of being transported. Well, once I opened the door, the light of the second floor slowly shined on me, and when it did, I looked around and it looked like a normal floor to the castle. As in compared to what TK was at, the lower levels are more cleaner and bigger with more detail, but the higher up, the more obscure it becomes.
So in a better way to describe it, it was like what you would have seen in the show. Or if you're still an idiot and a cow tipper, which I wouldn't recommend being one, trust me...it's not too late to change. You can still be a good person once more and use your imagination once more. It's still in there...just like a Teddy Bear that has lost its heart...it's still in there somewhere.
Well, if you're still a cow tipper, then a better way to describe what I saw or an idiot description...it looked normal. Well, after I saw the light and looked around my surroundings, it looked like I had been brought into a foyer or something similar like that. Well, I looked around and all I saw to my right was a big set of stairs that led to what have seemed to have been the throne room, and to my left was a pair of double doors.
Well, I looked around and didn't see any guards around and I was the only one there. The floors seemed to have been recently polished, as I could easily see my reflection in it, in which case I tried to forget my reflection as if you recall, I hate seeing myself in the mirror or something that I can see myself in. The red carpet was still in the middle of the room, connecting the two doors at both ends.
It was normal...until I heard some talking going on amongst a group of guards, or at least it sounded like guards, coming from the door on the set of stairs. So that meant I needed to get away as quickly as I could and find a hiding spot. However, instead of heading towards the other set of double doors and taking the risk that there are more guards there, there was a potted plant in one of the corners, so I ended up going to the corner that was near the stairs and hid behind the plant, as it was large of enough to cover my entire body from a specific viewpoint.
Well, I ran towards it and quickly laid down to make sure no one would see me and kept quiet. Soon, the door opened up and to my surprise, instead of seeing a group of Royal guards, what I found to be a group of stallions, or in other words seven stallions, wearing a black uniform, black masks with some head gear over their ears so they could communicate to whomever, and even had guns on their saddle bags.
One of them even seemed to have a pair of night vision goggles on. They were talking amongst themselves, but all it was that they were speaking of if they saw anything suspicious. However, at that point, I knew these weren't the normal ponies one would see in Equestria...but then again that's more or less obvious...I mean if anything I didn't need to even say it. It speaks for itself...but you cow tippers out there would get cranky if I didn't say it because you didn't have a good nap time.
Anyways, they were heading for the double doors that may or may not have led to a room filled with regular Royal guards, but I felt the need to not let that happen and possibly all of those guards being shot, well if they could use a gun that is, so I did the dumbest thing you could ever think of.
I went ahead and said these very words out loud, "Cocka Bitch!"
Soon, all of those guards turned around, but I was still hiding behind the potted plant, so from their viewpoint, they still couldn't see me, and so the one with the night vision goggles, which might have been the commander of the group said, "Who's there!? Come out now or else we will shoot!"
Soon the strange ponies grabbed out their guns and seemed to know how to use it properly. I then saw all of that happening and knew that I was screwed and was stupid enough to say those two words, but it was either that or let the guards that were possibly there get shot up in the next room over. Or at least that I was getting from them.
So I slowly walked out of the potted plant's way that blocked their site of them seeing me and I had nothing in my hooves so they knew I wasn't going to try anything funny.
Then what seemed to have been the commander of the group then said, "State your purpose of being here."
I then said, "What?"
The commander then said, "I said state your fucking purpose!"
I then said, "Why are you asking me this, I mean aren't you going to shoot me or something...possibly paint my brains on that wall right behind me?"
The commander then said, "First, we only knock out the guards around here with sleeping darts. Second, our guns here can be set to kill if you're trouble to us. Third, I'm asking because you look like someone that doesn't belong in this place."
I then said, "Well I mean I know I don't work for the Princesses and..."
I was then cut off by the commander and he then asked me, "I meant by that you don't belong in this world entirely. You look and act like a human."
I then said, "Wait...how do you know?"
The commander then said, "If you were one of these ponies, you wouldn't know how to react to seeing our guns properly. So I'll say it again...state your purpose here."
I then said, "Well how about this first...who are you? Are you the universe police or something?"
The commander then said, "No...we're just a hired group of people that was sent to do a job for another group that wanted information about this world. And with all the information that they gave us about alternate universes and such, we know a little something or two about alternate universes, to get them an idea what is in this universe. The question is, how did you get here, because our client only told us that no one has ever figured out a way to get to another universe."
I then said, "Well, let's just say that I got here through a portal...and it's much bigger than you think."
The commander then said, "How about you actually tell us what you mean by that or else we'll blow your fucking god damn face off."
I then said to them all, "Well you really didn't give any specifics about who you're working for, why should I?"
The commander then said, "Because we're the ones with the guns pointed at you while you standing there defenseless like an idiot. So how about you tell us what we want to know and we won't shoot at you."
I then told them, "How about this...you go back to where ever you came from or else someone that I know will fuck you guys up and you'll be saying 'shoot me a river and cry' all night long."
The commander then said, "And who would this guy be?"
Then I said to them all, while it started to get a little awkward in the room, "Well, I am serious for one thing...he'll kill you all if he sees me hurt or something like that...or even killed. In fact that'll just make things worse really when I'm not dead and you piss him off. So really in the end, all you guys need to know is that you shouldn't piss him of and..."
I was then cut off by one of the guys in the group and he went to the commander and said, "Let's just go boss, he's just wasting our time. Besides, we're not here to question if someone has been here in the first place that isn't human. We're just here to collect data for the Ghosts and that is it."
I then immediately asked after he had said that to his commander, "What are your clients again? The Ghosts or something?"
The commander then sighed and then said, as he looked at me with tired eyes, "That is who our clients are, a secret organization called the Ghosts. However that's as much as I'm telling you. And to answer your question Private, it may not be our job, but it still makes me the more curious as to why this guy is here in this universe ever since I learned about this alternate universe thing."
I then said to the commander, "Yup and that seems to be the one thing that breaks you apart from all the other ponies here you know commander...I mean your curiosity pretty much says that you're human and that you're curious about things. So since you're curious, how about you let me go and we can..."
The commander then cut me off and he then said, "Alright then, he's just wasting our time. Aim your guns and switch to lethal ammunition."
Then all at once, I heard all of the guns making a clicking sound, ready to fire at me as the guns were also aimed at me as well. When I saw it, I wasn't really afraid, granted I knew it was going to hurt pretty badly. I mean I'm not invincible...that would be just stupid. Instead, I wasn't afraid of it because I've been through worse than a group of whatever, aiming their weapons at me and going to shoot at me. I mean with the many adventures I have had in the past, this makes this look like a kitten compared to what I've been through before all of that.
However, I was in luck as the commander got a call on his radio or whatever he had to communicate with to his client, or at least I had guest it was his client anyway.
I didn't hear what was being said over the conversation, but the Commander was saying, "Yes sir. I know Sir, but...Yes sir...But what about the mission? Are you sure, we're still getting paid for this right? Alright then...fine, we're leaving then."
Soon the commander got off the communications line and then looked at his men or whatever and said, "Alright, the boss said to let that guy live. That and he said we're packing up and leaving. Private, get the portal opened."
I then saw the one called Private grab something from his saddlebag with his hoof somehow, and then took a circular metal object that was about the size of a coaster.
He then proceeded to place it on the ground and then pressed a small button in the middle, to which it then somehow made a portal to an alternate universe that was completely unknown to me and it opened up to an area that I didn't see anyone, but it looked like a shipyard of some kind or something similar to one as I saw containers that would belong there. I'm not sure what the containers were filled with, or what laid inside of it, but it did look like something that you would see on a industrial ship or something. You know...the big metal containers that are rectangular boxes or whatever the correct term for it is called...I don't know, I'm not Asian.
Anyways, I then saw all of the team members go through the portal and once the Commander was through, as he was the last to go through, the portal automatically closed and the silver circle pad was still there on the ground. I was curious about it and thought I could pick it up, Heck, I thought they were idiots for leaving it there...until seven seconds later when it self-destruct right in front of me.
However, it wasn't big or anything, it was relatively small and somehow made barely a sound. So in way, they were smart so I wouldn't pick up their trail or something.
I was still standing there, and I said to myself, "I wonder who are these Ghosts. I've got to keep a note to myself and remind TK that when we're done here...well if we ever get done that is. It seems it has been a long night."
However, since this took place in the past and since you all know that I have kindly opened up a portal to see what past events occurred to see what happened when I wasn't there, and no I don't have a secret magical Negro to help me out as for some reason the one I asked for help ended up going to the Song of the South...in which case he somehow got enslaved by singing blue birds.
Now that magical Negro is working the worm fields. And he has AIDS. Granted, I do have a sense of a second magical negro around, I'm just not sure if that feeling is true or not. I think his name begins with Morgan...he wants to be a free man or something. Maybe he's a magical black guy from the 1800's. Maybe...or maybe he just has a problem with white people and does a Hot Cosbey every now and then.
Or I don't even think he says the words Hot Cosbey...I think he just says the word Rape. Which now that I think about the word Rape...I'm getting a weird idea of a song called 'Do The Rape'...where it involves...doing a silly little dance with a smile on your face...and has no relation to the word Rape whatsoever...I can just imagine little kids doing it too. And I'm sure I just made a hundred little pedophile midgets their day just saying the words little kids...as they instantly blow a blood vessel in their eye sockets and jerk off into a sock with the words 'Eat a Swifter Duster' on the wall in their own blood as they slowly fucking gouge their eyes out to every new Star Wars movie that comes out every six months.
Then again I can understand and feel for them with the Star Wars thing...I would too gouge my fucking eyes out every six months for every new Star Wars film...because...reason...and logical statements that'll get you eaten by cannibals in the Amazon rain forest. Anyways, as I was saying before, I have what happened to those men that went through the portal...and just in case for the Cow Tippers...no I'm not fucking god for the final time. If anything go worship that guy over in the corner that you never knew existed that lives in part of your home that always watches you while you sleep.
That or not believe in him and sue anyone who tells you different, either way you're letting him know he's a god. Anyways, when the men went through the portal, they were on another Earth, an Alternate Universe to mine, but still to this day I am unsure of that if it is correct or not. All I know is that it was on Earth, along with it being very rainy has the rain poured over the men and it was at night as well.
However, there are some flood lights it seemed out in the rain at that night, surrounding the group of seven. Soon, the Commander saw his client, who called himself The Masked Ghost.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok, I really shouldn't do this and I know it's the not the proper thing to do, blah blah blah, but I feel like I need to stress this, repeat that, NEED TO STRESS. Assuming you have read the previous line, you know what I'm talking about. I'll say this much, AND TO STRESS WHAT YOU ARE ALL THINKING...NO, THIS IS NOT ME. THIS IS NOT AUTHOR INSERTION. THEN WHY IS IT THE SAME NAME AS MY USERNAME ON HERE? IT'S LIKE THAT FOR MULTIPLE REASON THAT I CANNOT CHANGE, SO LONG STORY SHORT, THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ME, IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SELF-INSERT, AND IT'S LIKE THIS FOR REASONS, SOME I CANNOT EXPLAIN. I'M SORRY FOR THIS LITTLE "PAUSE", I KNOW IT'S BACKWARDS RETARDED TO DO AND UNNATURAL, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW.
He had a black cape around his neck and was wearing a suit of armor from his neck to his to toe. His face however was covered up by a mask, but not any ordinary mask, it would protect his face of course. It wasn't some Halloween mask that you would buy at a Dollar Store for a buck fifty.
No, this mask was sort of like TK's helmet, except you could see the white of The Masked Ghost's eyes. When you look at him, deep into his eyes, you know he isn't the most swell person to be around. However, he seemed to have been different from TK. Instead of doom and gloom, darkness and despair, depression and a heart of stone, he seemed to have more feelings than what TK would have.
In fact, the way he moved seemed to be that he was a gentleman. Sort of like a more politer TK in a way. His mask however covered both the back of his head and the front of his head. The color of it was a color of a rusty brown. Or maybe it's more of a dark-ish, brown-ish orange. Look, I'm not a chick, I don't know too much about colors other than blue is my color and you stay the hell away from black and red along with yellow being the sign of 'This is a good place where to get some rice from.' Although when it comes to yellow, you stay the fuck away from them when they drive a car.
Anyways...it was sort of that color, however that was all there was to the mask. As for a air hole or way to speak, I am unclear, even to this day how it was. Anyways, He even had guns in his holsters and a Japanese sword on his back in case if he needed to do a melee attack of some sort...sort of like TK, except TK has two sometimes. I wonder why, but then again I wouldn't question it.
With The Masked Ghost, he also had a whole crew in that ship yard, hell it looked like he had an army. But that's the thing, he did have an army. However, with him at that moment, it was just a small crew, perhaps up to twenty-one was with him.
As for those who was with him, it looked like they were wearing uniforms. They had bullet proof vests on, carried guns where ever they went. They had masks on as well, but they were different than from The Masked Ghost. It was entirely a black mask, but with some white pain on it to make it look like a ghost. They also wore the same colored pants, shoes, gloves, everything, they were all the same, but then again, they were in a unit, they were like a military unit in a way. They just had uniforms on except for the one that seemed to be the leader, The Masked Ghost.
Masked Ghost went towards the group of the seven men that he had hired to go through that My Little Pony portal. With him were two of the crew on both sides of him, as if they were bodyguards.
Although, I believe if I recall correctly, they were called Ghosts, as in the crew members in the unit that Masked Ghost had. But...we don't need to know about that...right now that is, but...later I'll tell you all my little secrets and shit like that. Anyways, Masked Ghost came into the flood lights as it was pouring rain all over them.
Masked Ghost looked straight into the commander's eyes and said, "How much data did you collect for me?"
He had said it in a gentleman's voice. It was a bit charming, but yet stern I suppose...if that is the correct words to use that is, or maybe it's not. Then again I can just...try and do something...but then again why the fuck do I even care at all? I mean if anything, I shouldn't care about that because all I've been doing in my past years is fighting or complaining about something and going through heavy shit. So why all of a sudden should I care about the right words that I use? Well I shouldn't, because in the end it doesn't matter what I say or what any of us say...as long as it isn't taken out of context, it doesn't matter, because in the end we will all be dammed one day for the things that we have said in the past. I'm sure I'll be paying for all of the F bombs that I have ever dropped in my life one day. One day anyways, not sure how or why...but one day.
Anyways, the commander of the group of seven said as the commander was grabbing out something from his right pocket, "Here."
He grabbed out a small, rectangular metal box and threw it to Masked Ghost, or in other words, tossed it underhand and it went through the air. Soon Masked Ghost caught the device and it seemed to have stored all kinds of data on it, from location, to weather, to air quality, to pretty much everything. Once Masked Ghost caught it however, he looked at it, as if to make sure everything was ok with it and that he wasn't being ripped off.
He then gave it to one of his fellow Ghost's right next to him...to his right, in which case the fellow Ghost member took it from Masked Ghost's hand and held on to it tightly.
The Masked Ghost continued to look at the commander and he said, "Well then, this changes everything."
Apparently The Masked Ghost was hearing everything that was happening in that universe, he even seemed to have been watching as well.
The commander then said, "Yeah well...I'm just as surprised as you are. I thought we weren't supposed to see any of that shit back there. You told me when you hired us and was going over the plans with us, that there wouldn't be any risks like that."
Masked Ghost then said, "Aren't you supposed to take risks like that? To go into the unknown so my fellow brothers and sisters wouldn't have to risk their own lives?"
The commander then said, "Yeah...well you still lied to us."
Masked Ghost then said, "Well this was certainly unexpected. I had no idea that another human being would get to another universe. In all honesty, we have checked, no one on this planet has gotten to another universe, not at all whatsoever. As for as I know, we're the only ones that has done it in this universe, where we made a portal to another dimension. However, I do apologize for the inconvenience thought."
Soon Masked Ghost bowed down and seemed like he was apologetic with every word that he had said.
Soon the commander said, "Well...as long as we get paid, it's all fine and good. But can I ask, why do you call them your brothers and sisters? You're not related to those people are you?"
Masked Ghost looked at his Ghosts, and then back to the commander and said, "This has been the third time we have hired you and still do not realize what this is...do you?"
The commander then said, "If you may fill us in then?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Alright. Here's a quick history lesson. I lead a group called The Ghosts. It's made up of all those who have lost hope within this world, society, life itself. We have no purpose in this world other than to merely exist. We are alone...forgotten, thrown aside for the more superior people for jobs such as writing, music, science, anything really. We are all alone, no one knows of our existence in this world...we are just merely ghosts to all on this planet that has forgotten us.
'However, instead of trying to make ourselves known, to make ourselves angry and do radical things such as blowing buildings and murdering to make sure no one has forgets us. Instead of using violence and embracing our anger, we embrace ourselves and each other that is also a ghost to the world. We are brothers and sisters, we are all ghosts. We each have our own stories to tell, each different and unique in every way possible, but in the end it all leads to being a ghost and forgotten by society.
'So, I have formed a group called the Ghosts, and our objective is to stick together so we may be among our own kind, so that we may not be truly alone anymore and will be among others who we can relate to in our hearts. Not only that, but we are more than just a family that has found each other in one way or another, we are also trained fighters as well, something that I have taught all of them to do...every single last one of them. I have trained them all to use a gun, to using their fists. In a way, we are an army without a purpose. So since we have no purpose, I have made one. We stick together as a family and fight as one if any trouble comes our way, sort of like a little community for the forgotten ones. But if anyone needs help, asks for help, we'll pick up the call and we'll be there to help whoever is in need. Sure, we may not do it all the time, but we will do it whenever, however we can do so.
'However, along the way, we have made many enemies, but we do have the weapons, technology, warships and firepower to fight back the threats that are against us all. We also do not answer to anyone else, no government, no private military, no billionaires. We only answer to those who are in need of assistance. If I don't say so myself, we aren't even known in this world at all, we're just a little myth really. People wonde4ring if we do exist or not, but in the end it doesn't matter, for we are all ghosts here. And I lead my fellow brothers and sisters through the good times and bad.
'That is what we are, that is why I call them my brothers and sisters. Anything other than that, well I wouldn't know what to do really. So that is your answer...your opinion if I may ask?"
The commander then said, "Well, interesting...but I really don't care. So...is that all as for as jobs that you have for us or is there more tonight?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Well at this point, with what you have seen through that other universe forces us to go back to the drawing board and rethink this whole other universe ordeal. We might not need you the next time when we have finally come up with an answer, we will just most likely just use ourselves to go through next time, as it seems this is on a much bigger scale than we had thought originally. It won't take a small group like you seven, it'll take an army to make sure everything is alright, and luckily, as I said before, we have that ability to do so. I just would fear the safety of my Ghosts is all. But sometimes in life, we must take risks in order to move forward. However, I do have one more job for you tonight, I need you to take my little brother to your little jail house at wherever you have set your place of business at for he has been distracting in a way."
The commander then said, "Alright then...but first we need to get paid before we do that."
The Masked Ghost then said, "And you shall, but only once the job has been done. You do not get paid if you do not put effort towards your work."
The commander then said, "And I don't do my work unless I know for sure I get paid. I mean for fuck's sake! You've been telling us that we would be getting paid the past eleven times, and we have not seen a single damn dime! You better fucking pay us now or else I'll put a fucking bullet in your head and we'll see who becomes the ghost."
The commander raised his gun and pointed it at Masked Ghost's head. The Masked Ghost looked at the end of the barrel of the gun and was not intimidated whatsoever at all.
In fact, all he said was, "And you shall be paid within good time and once you have put enough effort into your hard work. You do not simply earn things without first putting the effort."
Soon, the commander began to show rage and soon took out a knife from his pocket...belt thingy...you know what I'm talking about where you keep your trusty knife at. Well, he took out to what seemed to be a standard army knife and held at in his hand and seemed to be ready to use if it he was pushed off the edge.
The commander then said, "I'll show you fucking effort. I swear if you don't give us the money now, I'll show effort by sticking this knife down your throat while my men kill your precious brothers and sisters! How's that for effort!?"
The Masked Ghost didn't show any emotion or fear to what the commander had just said.
Masked Ghost then looked at the commander with calm eyes and said, "Well, I'll say that is ambitious, but you would need to put a lot of effort in order to accomplish that however. I would suggest to try and stay away from such thought and go for more of an approach of doing something more sensible such as actually putting effort in your work. That way, you and your men would be alive.
'Not only to mention it would show great responsibility in your leadership skills towards your men as that would show them that you, their leader, is a very good one at that and respect the lives of your men and yourself. However, if you truly wanted to take out your rage, I'll would suggest being alone for a moment to cool down. Perhaps even have a trusted companion with you to talk it out. In which case you would be able to proceed with my request of transporting my little brother to one of your maximum security facilities, or at least I assume that is, to be held captive until a certain time where I would be able take him from your hands and possibly try to reform him from his awful thoughts and impossible dreams of stupidity. In order words, you put forth the effort, I'll provide compensation for your hard work. Now, I'll shall be telling one of the Ghosts to..."
Suddenly, the commander let out all of his anger and sprinted towards The Masked Ghost. He rammed into The Masked Ghost's chest while using his head, but The Masked Ghost was only caught off guard just a bit, to where he was strong enough to struggle with him and try to push him back. Meanwhile, The Masked Ghost's men (Or Women) that were next to hum, guarding him sort of, were aiming their weapons at the commander, but soon Masked Ghost got a grip on the struggle at hand and soon kicked the commander back a few feet, although he was still on his feet and not fallen down by the force of The Masked Ghost's kick, to which the commander was staggered and lost control for a bit to his movements.
With a bit of spare time on The Masked Ghost's hands, he then tells his sort of two guards next to him that was pointing their guns at the commander, "Stand down. Just escort him over here."
Soon, one of the guards, who was a male, but the other one may or may not have been a women or not, so you Feminazis no longer have to gas some Jews in the showers of a truck stop now, said to Masked Ghost, "Sir, are you sure?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Indefinitely, I can handle this on my own. Just grab him and escort him over here, but just keep a good eye on him as he does try to use some of his tricks to escape."
Masked Ghost was then interrupted with his conversation when the Commander quickly regained control of his body and charged right into The Masked Ghost's body again, this time with more force. To which then he then pushed Masked Ghost down on his back and was on top of him. And with the rain being a factor to the fight, the Masked Ghost easily slipped and lost control of his footing on the ground. The commander was on top of The Masked Ghost's body and soon held the knife in both hands and soon he raised the knife high above his head. The Masked Ghost on the other hand didn't fear what the commander was trying to do to him, as he had no fear to give towards the threat.
It was as if he had seen it all. Soon the commander then started to bring the knife down as fast as he could towards The Masked Ghost's face, but he wasn't quick enough as The Masked Ghost soon quickly used his two arms to hold back the knife. The Masked Ghost then proceeded to push the commander's arms away from him so he could have enough room for a bit more control over the fight, to which then he head butted the commander as hard as he could, but it was easy as the mask made it like it was nothing to The Masked Ghost.
To the commander however, it was a painful hit to his head, to which then the commander landed flat on his back as the knife that he once held in his hands was on the ground somewhat close to him.
When the commander saw The Masked Ghost towering over him in the rain with the flood lights over them, he saw it to be intimidating. He was big. he was strong. He was tough. He was a real fighter and he had been through a lot and the commander knew that.
He showed it on his face and started to show fear, but as a soldier, as a fighter, he must never give up until the very end. So, as The Masked Ghost was slowly walking towards him, the commander then quickly scrambled along the floor to reach the knife in time.
However, The Masked Ghost was swift with his actions as he then put his concentration on kicking the knife away from him as far as he could so there would be very little trouble to end the fight. However, the commander had saw this as a quick opportunity to get an upper hand on The Masked Ghost.
So he then quickly got up or more or less to a crouching position and soon used his legs to swipe at The Masked Ghost's legs and soon The Masked Ghost didn't see it coming and he fell down, but he caught himself halfway from the fall and was on all four, but this meant an advantage to the commander. He soon got onto The Masked Ghost's back and put both of his arms around The Masked Ghost and tried to strangle him and cut off his air supply...if he could that is. The commander had a strong grip on The Masked Ghost.
He knew it too because he recalls being in the military before being kicked out for being too much of an asshole sometimes, that he was always the strongest among in his unit. He would make all the men in his team so jealous they would be willing to kill him.
However, not because he was stronger than them, but he was too much of a fucking show off and possibly one day that would be the end of him. So the Commander knew he was going to do it, that he had the confidence once he had that grip around The Masked Ghost's neck as tight as he could have gotten it. He had thought he was going to take him down, but what he didn't estimate is The Masked Ghost's will to fight.
The Masked Ghost was tough, he knew it too, and he knew who he was fighting at that moment was a shrimp compared to the hell he's been through. So, without thinking, The Masked Ghost used both arms once more and quickly grabbed the commander by his shoulders and threw him flat on his back once more on the ground. The commander was in so much pain, he knew he was beaten and he knew he couldn't go on any longer, but just like the human he was, he had to push a little more. A little more just to survive.
He knew he could not go gently into death, gently into the night with his men watching him. He knew, as the human being that he was, that if he failed and was falling at the edge of death, he would try to struggle to survive with very little energy left and right before death, he would see his life before his eyes and face judgment in the beyond, if there was one that is. The commander was always skeptical about religion, but to him, it didn't matter if he was forever trapped in purgatory or burning in the lake of fire for all of the terrible things he has done in his past when he was in war.
Hell, he was already a war criminal in too many countries to count. He was just lucky enough to escape and have a new identity. So, with a final push, the Commander slowly pushed himself up from the ground, but first he painfully rolled over onto his stomach. To which then he proceeded to bend his arms in agony, but that agony would be his only triumph that night, as he slowly got up in pain and slowly stood up, but not straight of course, as that would have been possible in his condition.
He looked into The Masked Ghost's eyes and slowly raised his arms up and formed fists and ready to fight him once again, ready to die or not, but was hoping not to die as that would be embarrassing in front of his men to him. Masked Ghost saw this and was unamused. He saw this as pathetic, as it was sad and just stupid to him. He had good fights, honorable fights, but not a fight like this where a poor man just kept on fighting even knew he was beaten.
The Masked Ghost said to the Commander, "You just don't know when to give up do you?"
The Commander then said, "I'm a soldier, a solider never gives up a fight. A good solider fights until the very end. And so, that's what I'm going to do, even if I'm paying for it in Hell."
The Masked Ghost then said, "Yes, maybe for an American, patriotic solider who has done horrifying deeds in battle, who did it in the good name of his country, but not a solider that is weak."
The commander then said, "You're calling me weak?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Yes, well you may be tough in a immature bar fight, but not strong enough for a fight in reality. You have so much to learn on just the simple will of fighting, knowing when it is ok to give up. Knowing when you have been beaten and should just stay down instead of standing your ground. Even your techniques are weak. You're not a soldier, you're just a fool that only thinks he knows how to fight. But do not worry or be ashamed, you're not the only one. There are plenty enough of those kind of people in this world. Sure, some knows how to fight well and properly, but men think they know they put up a fight, but really when the times come for it, all they can do is talk a big game, but not fight a good fight.
'Besides, to me that is just rude as that implies that they were lying, and to me that just makes me disgusted at them. But for you, I'll make an exception and think that you're just being misguided, in which case, once you and your men have been properly paid for your good services that you have provided us, I'll shall consider taking you under my wing and teach you the ways of reality and how to fight of course. What do you say, will you come to your senses and accept my offer, or will you continue to make a fool of yourself?"
The Commander then said, with the most roughest voice he could give, "Fuck You."
The Masked Ghost then said, "Why do I even bother? Most people have long lost their common sense years ago. No one even knows what common sense even means anymore as it was long ago since it was last used. Oh very well then, it is your choice and I shall respect it. So then, are you just going to just stand there or you going to have the fight that you wish to have with me?"
The Commander just stood there, looking at his target. He was preparing himself to make his move. Eventually he had it all thought out and he charged towards The Masked Ghost with rage. He screamed as well as he was running.
Meanwhile, The Masked Ghost just stood there, as if he wasn't prepared at all, but of course The Masked Ghost is smart, so he then at the right microsecond, stepped to the side slightly and grabbed the Commander by his torso and lift him entirely above his head. When the Commander was high in the air, he knew he made a mistake fighting him and knew he was about to pay the price. However it just didn't occur to the Commander that The Masked Ghost was this strong, that he could lift an entire person above his head so easily, but then again, he was strong to begin with.
Soon after the Masked Ghost held the Commander over his head, he knew he couldn't hold out for long before his arms would get tired, he did have his limits after all, but he was able to hold the weight for a good bit. So, The Masked Ghost then eyed at a particular spot to throw him at, it wasn't too far away from his position and still have a decent distance to scare him to never mess with him again. The spot he was eyeing was one of the cargo containers and it was in front of the cargo.
It was a few barrels that he was eyeing that he didn't know what was filled with, but sure wasn't anything lethal. And so, with all of his might, he gathered all of his strength and threw the Commander towards the barrels and did it with accuracy.
The Commander went flying through the air and his men watched as their Commander hit the barrels, which was painful to begin with and most likely shattered many bones in his body, but not enough to make him a cripple, but not only that, but he had also hit hard at the one side of the container. As soon as he hit that, he soon fell to his side in agony and slowly moved on to his back. Right then and there he knew he was beaten, and knew he had to give up. He felt as if he was on the brink of death, he would soon feel the human instinct on to think what most matters to him and try to survive at the very last moments of his life.
Or maybe he just really liked the movie Interstellar or something, how the fuck should I know if that was going to happen or not? I mean if anything, human instinct is a bitch to trust. Anyways, the Commander looked towards the sky as the rain fell upon his face.
He could feel the coolness of the water flowing down his entire face and it felt a bit refreshing for him, but he knew that he was still beaten though and failed. That he was embarrassed in front of his men. However, he was finished, but that didn't mean one of his men was. He looked towards the one who he called Private, as he was just a new guy on his team.
So he looked towards him and yelled out in the rain, "Private! Grab the knife and fucking finish him!"
The one called Private looked towards the floor and still saw that the knife that his Commander once held, but soon lost it early in the fight. He saw it and was then stricken with fear. He could follow simple orders, but orders to kill wasn't something he was used to.
He just stood there as The Masked Ghost just stared at him, awaiting for him to do what he was told to do, but he didn't. He just stood there in silence as the rain fell on all of them. Even his fellow men didn't say a word about him. There was only silence.
The Commander then said, "What are you waiting for Private!? Fucking end him now! Can't you see that I'm fucking in pain!? Do it now...that's a fucking order!"
Private didn't know what to do, but since he was used to following simple orders, he did what felt natural to him and followed his Commander's orders. He dropped his gun as he ran towards the knife on the ground that was only a few feet away from The Masked Ghost. However, Masked Ghost only gave a look of impatience. As Private ran towards the knife, he slipped and fell half way down, but caught himself as he tried to gain a grip on himself. However, he was more nervous than anything, so of course he fell down. However, he quickly got back up and ran towards the knife and when he was near it, he quickly bent down and picked it up.
Then he looked towards The Masked Ghost with fear as he held it near his face. His hands started to shake with fear, not sure what was going to happen next. Was he going to get the same treatment as his Commander got, or was he going to get hell from the Commander later on? He didn't know what to do and he just stood there, waiting for his mind to make a choice.
His Commander soon yelled at him, "What are you waiting for Private!? Fucking cut his heart out! Stab him until he can't get up anymore! Make hum fucking suffer!"
However, he just stood there as the orders weren't as simple as he was used to. However,
The Masked Ghost got a little closer to Private and soon said to him surprisingly, "Well, are you going to follow your Commander's orders? Are you not but a mere apprentice?"
Private slowly nodded his head.
The Masked Ghost then said, "I see, so why don't you follow your leader's orders then?"
Private didn't say anything and just stood there once more in silence without any movement whatsoever. All he did was just stood there in shock and not sure what to do.
The Masked Ghost then said, "Well come on then...fight me!"
The Masked Ghost then took three steps back and awaited Private's decision. However, Private did what he felt natural to him at that very moment, and so he followed orders. He wan towards The Masked Ghost while not making a sound from his throat while holding the knife like a maniac.
He soon ran towards The Masked Ghost and as soon as he got close enough, he had second thoughts and hesitated to try and fight him. He soon started to shake and was about to run away from him, but soon, The Masked Ghost wanted to prove a point, and so he then grabbed Private's arms and forced him face to face.
Private struggled, not sure what was happening, but The Masked Ghost knew exactly what he was doing. So he took the arm that had the knife in it and pointed towards his body.
Private saw what he was doing and started to resist what was happening and yelled, "No no no!"
He was shaking his hands and closed his eyes as he wasn't sure this meant that The Masked Ghost was going to kill him next because he was crazy or he was going to be safe or something similar like that. Soon, the knife entered the body of The Masked Ghost and the Commander saw this and thought Private was doing it. Sure, he was a wimp, but if he saw what was correct, as he didn't get a good view of what was happening, he could be turned into a fighter in no time. So, once the knife was in his body, The Masked Ghost didn't make a sound or a stir in his movements.
He wasn't affected by it and Private simple fell to the ground, not knowing what just happened. However, he looked up and saw The Masked Ghost was ok and standing straight and tall, as if nothing had happened to him. He looked down upon him and Private saw the handle of the blade sticking out of The Masked Ghost.
He was shocked and tried to say a word, but he kept hesitating as to what he was going to say until Masked Ghost simply said, "I've been through worse than this. I've been through hell to say this is merely but a flesh wound. This is nothing compared to what I've been through in my many of years of life."
The Masked Ghost then looked towards the Commander. He eyed him like a hawk and then walked towards him. As the Commander saw him walking towards him, he was scared. He wasn't sure if he was going to be killed by him or not. But then again, he was at least smart enough to make judgment after past events, and from what he saw, he wasn't going to die. In fact, he'll live for another day for sure. The Masked Ghost walked up to him and stopped just a few inches from him.
He then said to the Commander, "So, do you now see why I said you are weak? You are so weak you even had to order one of your men to fight for you. How pathetic is that. But it is alright. Now get up like the "solider" that you are and listen what I have to say. And do not worry about your injuries, I only managed to break exactly 63 bones in your body without it being sever. You will need to take a few days off of course, but you should heal up just fine. The human body is quite amazing you see."
The Commander then said, "I don't need any fucking advice from you!"
The Masked Ghost then just looked down and shook his head as if he was shamed, "Oh poor you, can you not see I am not your enemy? The enemy is, well whatever your enemy that is. But I am your friend, an ally really. I am only here to help you as you help me. For we have done business enough already that I am sure we should start to try and help each other. However, if you do not want my help, that is fine, just remember that in this cruel world that we both live in, you'll be dead if you do not survive. So, I'm assuming you still do not accept my help then?"
All the Commander did next was spit directly on to The Masked Ghost's mask.
Which then made The Masked Ghost wiping the spit with his right hand off his mask and said, "Well then. That was a bit rude, but no matter, still get up please. I need to inform you on your task that I ask of you in a moment. Ah yes, here they come now."
The Masked Ghost then looked and saw that the two guards that were near him not long ago were holding a person, as if he was a prisoner. Well, he was a prisoner. He was a man that wore black boots, black leather pants, a black vest with tattoos all over his arms.
He was a bit far, but too much though. His was bald and were black eye liner as if he was Goth or something, but he wasn't all doom and gloom or cutting his arm or anything, so he wasn't Goth. He was just mentally unstable...in a way of course. Well, the man also had tattoos all over his face.
One of the tattoos was saying "Anarchy forever!"
He also wore boots that had metal spikes coming out on the top of it and wore a belt that had a skull for a belt buckle. Clearly this was a biker gang member of some sort...or maybe he was just trying to be Politically Correct at one point and then failed to do so. So he ended up taking it all out on emo biker gangs that were half Goth.
Anyways, he was being escorted like a prisoner and so once he was brought into the flood light area, The Masked Ghost walked up to him, "Hello Damian."
Damian then said with a rebel like metal head in his voice, "Oh fuck you! My name is fucking Ghost! You want me to blow your fucking head off you mother fucker!"
He said that was half of a smile as well keep in mind, so you know he was somewhat insane, but yet in a way...seemed like a trust worthy guy. You could even trust him with your life savings while fucking a Jew...in the asshole...and he complained on how much it hurts and doesn't do anything about it. Then that Jew would go back to his place of work which is a tax accountant and soon asks why Slenderman is late to his job because he is also a Jew.
Anyways, The Masked Ghost simply responded to this with, "Oh dear little brother. You should have just stayed with our dearest mother and father."
As the Commander was slowly getting up, but painfully so, but just like The Masked Ghost, he's been through hell too...somewhat at least.
The Commander saw this and said out loud, "Brother?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Yes, I'm afraid this degenerate here is my pesky little brother. I tried to reform him in the past, many of time, but he simply will not budge. He is so obsessed on becoming better than me. Granted, I do not blame him, younger siblings sometimes do want to become what their elders are, and that is perfectly alright. But this is just absurd. Taking the name of Ghost is one thing, but acting like a fool is simply too much."
Ghost then said, the little brother if you couldn't figure it out yet, "Fuck You! I fucking hate you and your fucking ways you fucking idiot! Mom and dad can burn in hell as I'm tea bagging their graves and skinning their precious dog alive! They always fucking liked you best anyways, so to hell with them!"
The Masked Ghost then said, "And sadly he has a particular vocabulary that is simply disgusting. Honestly, I prefer to only say the dreaded F-bomb when it is needed, but he simply does not care how he uses. But his views on the world and how it should run only makes it worse. But aside from that, do you know why Mother and Father liked me more than you Damian?"
Ghost then said, "I said my fucking name is fucking Ghost you fucking prick!"
The Masked Ghost then looked down and gave a low sigh and then looked up once more and then said, "Yes, well do you know...Ghost?"
Ghost then replied with, "It's because you were always fucking better than me in every fucking way possible. You even fucking showed off to them too whenever you could, so you always fucking hogged the spotlight whenever you could you fucking chicken fucker!"
The Masked Ghost then started to get fed up with his little brother and said, "First off, acting like a child will not make anything better right now. Especially saying such foul language, especially in front of our guests. So I advise you to stop acting like this and perhaps things will start to go a bit better for you in life. Second of all, I never showed off once to our dearest parents. I just simply had the manners that you never acquired through life lessons."
Ghost then said, "You're the fucking one talking. Why did you fucking leave home then huh!? Dad said he wanted to fucking disown you for leaving home and leaving them like you did when you were seven!"
The Commander started to look confused as he was limping towards his group and asked, "Seven?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Yes, well it is quite a long story. But yes, I did leave when I was merely but seven years old, but for good reasons. I rather not say, but if I must, let's just say it's because of reality and of society itself and how society acted in this world."
Ghost then said to The Masked Ghost, "You made Mom fucking cry you fucking asshole!"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Yes, and I am terribly sorry about that, but she didn't see how I viewed things, so I just simply left is all. No one quite understood me, so I had to leave or else I would be in a world where I didn't belong. Now, I belong with my own kind, those who have been forgotten. But for you little brother, you certainly do not belong here. You belong with the rest of society, for you seem to understand them and their ways of living. You seem to make sense of their lives. Besides, you'll never become like me little brother. Just consider yourself lucky that I haven't put a bullet in your head. To tell you the truth, you might be family, but if you ever try and say what you did and try and kill me or try to kill anyone else, I shall have no choice but to kill you myself. I would prefer not to, but if that comes to it, then I shall do it myself. At least it will be by the hand of a family member.
'And besides, that is just life, that is how things are. You do not get a pass just because you're family little brother. You have to pay the consequences if you mess up badly, however, I like to give those who have the potential of redeeming themselves a second chance. With you little brother, you barely have that potential, but I'll give it a shot."
The Masked Ghost then looked towards the Commander and then said to him, "Now listen here. And Listen carefully to my instructions. I want you and your men to perform this service for me and by locking him away. To be more specific and detailed as to what I request of what to do, let me explain. I need you to take him to one of your securest abandoned warehouses that you use for your operations and keep him locked up. Now how you do so either by in a cage or have him tired up by rope in a chair, that does not matter. As long as he doesn't escape. Now, of course you'll need to have some guards looking after him. I need actually four of your finest and toughest guards on watch. Two to be exact inside the abandoned warehouse where they take turns watching him. One is close by to his place of lock up, and one by the nearest exit.
'The other exits, if there are any, I know for sure he won't go to as he always is an idiot and tries to go for the nearest one. Even right now he'll listen but still will never remember to do so. But in case he is smart enough to escape somehow, that is where the other two men come n. Now these two other men, or women if you have them that is, have to be your top snipers. One in the south and one in the north to be exact. From a distance to be exact with tranquilizers loaded in their guns so they will take him out without a problem. Now as for which warehouse I request you take him to, I request you take him to one of your warehouses that is surrounded by very little human activity as possible. Perhaps one of your warehouses in the desert or a tundra.
'Doesn't matter. And I need you to keep him locked up until I give the word for him to be transported somewhere else. So until that day comes, you make sure he doesn't escape, or else you have not put the effort that you had the potential to. So, any questions Commander?"
The Commander looked at him, not sure what to say. He knows he has been beaten. He knows that he doesn't want to listen to his orders and prefer to slit his throat so he doesn't talk anymore. He wants to be in control...not him. But, as his men saw, he lost the fight. And sadly to him, he has no option left but to obey orders. But then he thinks of something else that goes something rather very deep.
In a way, obeying orders to The Masked Ghost is like obeying to a superior being, perhaps even a god. Of course The Masked Ghost isn't even a god, he's just a human being like himself with a certain set of skills, but not a similar certain set of skills like Liam Neeson. I mean with him he'll fucking hunt you down and shit....kill you as a lion...because he's that lion guy from Narnia or something. I'm not sure, I was kind of high the last time I saw that movie...he was a funny talking kitty cat.
Anyways, but the question remains though, would he disobey a god? Sure, you'll be beaten down into the dirt if he would try, or worse, even killed. But he would mostly just be beaten into the dirt again. But then again what if The Masked Ghost was his god? As if he was a god, hypothetically speaking that is. Would he obey him then? Let's make it even more interesting...what if that god was his friend, a good buddy that he knew from growing up? What would happen then? Would he take the risk and rebel or obey? What if the god was a family member such as a father or mother and he was just a pure mortal? Would he obey then or would he disobey?
Either way, he'll get killed or beaten if he disobeys. But what matters the most if he obeys with a heart for it. Does it obey with live, friendship, or for being good out of his heart? To him...to the Commander...he couldn't tell if that was the truth or not, if to obey the orders of his superior. So, the Commander looked straight into The Masked Ghost's eyes and said what he had to say.
The Commander said with the most calmest voice that he had that night, "No....I do not have any questions. We'll take your little brother to one of our places and we'll hide him there, make sure he is locked up tight until you give the orders."
The Masked Ghost then seemed to be very pleased with his cooperation and said to him, "Very good. And I'll make sure one of our medical staff takes a look at your wounds and try to give you some medicine so you'll be healed up on your way to your destination in one of our aircraft carriers."
The Commander then had a dumbfounded look on his face and said, "Air Craft Carrier?"
Soon, there was a slight sound, a slight hovering sound coming in from behind. Soon the sound got a little louder and louder, but not too loud. Loud enough for it to be heard close up, but from a distance, you'll never know it was even there in the first place. The Air Craft Carrier came flying in slowly and soon the Commander and his men along with The Masked Ghost and his crew took big steps back to make room for the air craft carrier. It was fairly big as well. However, it didn't exactly land, it just hovered over them. What landed instead was a sub-carrier, sort of a mini version of the air craft carrier, as it detached from the bigger carrier to land in the middle of the group.
As it did, the Commander saw it and was amazed. His jaw drop when he saw the sight of it, but he kept it to himself as it wasn't the right time to say such comments, although he did have a question in mind though. The blades were a bit loud, but nothing from afar should be disturbed. The Commander stood there staring at the sub-carrier as The Masked Ghost walked up to him as two of the Ghosts were putting Ghost on to the carrier.
The Masked Ghost then said to the Commander, "I see you like what you see? If you're curious, this is made of one of the strongest metal on this planet that is available. It's also loaded with guns, weapons, the works. And to top it off, the guns are not made any where else. To put into better words, only we make it, and from certain tests that we have done, it stands stronger than most military weapons, tanks, fighter jets, just about anything really. And we have just about over 256 of these ready to go at will, or at least the sub-carriers that is."
The Commander looked at The Masked Ghost and then asked, "How did you do it?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Well, it's a bit complicated. But if you really want to know, let's just say the resources were very hard to come by, but we managed to do it. But to tell you the truth, the challenge was to get The Mother Carrier working. But we were able to make it carry twenty one air craft carriers though, which each air craft carrier is able to hold fourteen of these sub-carriers."
The Commander was then shocked once more and then asked, "Are you telling me that thing up there isn't the main carrier? There's an even bigger one?"
The Masked Ghost then said calmly, "Well...yes...yes there is. It's just that we couldn't fit it in our main base, so we hid it somewhere in the desert. We were looking into one of the deserts in Africa as that would be more secure as the deserts are big, but of course problems would occur there that would be too much for us to even think about it. Aside from that, The Mother Carrier is quite big. It's bigger than the Space Station. In fact, I'm sure it's big enough to be sent out into space for whatever reason there may be, but that isn't quite possible what it could do. Although I do have a team that is researching the possibilities of it. So far they say they can't even tell if it is possible to get something like that out of the Earth's atmosphere and into space. But it is a sight to see I'll admit. And if you want me to give you an idea how big it is, well...I can't exactly describe it. The best I can say is think of the biggest thing there is that you've seen in terms of air crafts...and times that by eleven to twenty-one times, depending of course."
The Commander just looked at The Masked Ghost with his jaw dropped and amazed what a group like The Ghosts could do. The Commander then asked The Masked Ghost, "What kind of group are you?"
The Masked Ghost then said, "Well, we are a 'Special' kind of group, let's just put it like that."
The sub- carrier had landed and was firmly on the ground and was ready to pick up and drop off anyone or anything at will. However, the blades that was necessary for it to fly were still rotating of course, as obviously it was only picking up. As soon as the air craft was on the ground and stable, two ghosts came out and from the looks of it were guarding the air craft in case if anything were to go wrong.
Soon the Ghosts that were holding Ghost still and ready to escort him to the air craft and make sure he was secure so he wouldn't escape. And also, just to let you know...I realize there's a lot of ghosts and stuff, but hey, that's just how it all happened. Besides, at least it wasn't skeletons...because then there would be a lot of coming out of the closet jokes...because there are skeletons in those closets.
Anyways, the Ghosts were securing Ghost in the air craft and the Commander's team were a bit back from the sub-carrier, awaiting instructions from their Commander to do what next.
However, the Commander was looking at them, nor caring about them at the moment as he was too busy trying to wrap his mind around what The Masked Ghost has made. The Masked Ghost looked towards the air carrier and was looking at one of the medics on board. He was wearing the typical Ghosts uniform, however the difference here that he was wearing a white armband with a red cross on it symbolizing he was a medic, obviously.
He also had a white mask on as well...ski mask that is...not an actual mask...because....of reason I suppose. I mean how should I know?
Sure I can look through events as I say I can do, and it's true, but what I would have to do to find out why would be more complicated because...you're going into deep...like the deep web...you just don't go that deep. You might go deep and then come back out and do it several times until something happens, but it's just too deep. Anyways, he was looking at one of the three medics on board the air craft and he too was staring at The Masked Ghost, but only because he was on board and was basically on standby, awaiting for anything that could go wrong and that would require his services. Well, The Masked Ghost was looking towards his direction and soon motioned for him to come over to him.
The Medic Ghost saw this and he immediately went over to The Masked Ghost as quick as he could, as he knew he shouldn't keep the leader waiting. Especially since he was alone before and The Masked Ghost gave him a purpose and a home as well.
The Medic Ghost hustled over to The Masked Ghost and soon asked him, "What do you need sir."
He said with energy in his voice, so he it was as if he was ready to go for anything that came his way. And you know what...it was true...he was energetic...so was the other two that were on the air carrier as well. The other two being female and were also ready to go at a moment's notice.
The Masked Ghost then said as he looked over to the Commander, "Yes, your services are needed. Not here, but after you take off. My good friend here needs some medical attention. Nothing serious, but he does need to be looked at and given any medicine if needed. I would think he would need some pain killers though after what I've done to him of course, but nevertheless take good care of him."
The medic Ghost then said, "Yes Sir! I'll be ready when he is in the sub-carrier."
Soon the medic turned around and was going to head back to get ready and prep for the incoming patient, but soon The Masked Ghost put a hand on his shoulder and said to him as the medic looked back to look at The Masked Ghost as he said to him, "One more thing. When you head back, tell the pilot to head to this man's empty warehouse that is near San Pedro and Southwestern railroad tracks."
The medic then said, "Right away sir!"
Then the medic was off to his duties. The Commander was a bit shocked that The Masked Ghost knew about one of his warehouses, but more or less the specific place that he knew about.
The Commander then asked The Masked Ghost, "How did you..."
The Masked Ghost then said, "Trust me, I know everything about you thanks to some very intelligent hackers that I picked off from the streets that had nowhere else to go."
The Commander then stood there as The Masked Ghost look towards the Commander's team. He stood there and tried to comprehend what he had just said to him.
The Masked Ghost looked towards the Commander's team and said out loud, "May I have your undivided attention please!?"
Soon all eyes were on The Masked Ghost. "Thank you! Now I know this has been a long night for you. It's cold, it's raining, most likely hungry as well and want to simply rest and be refreshed for whatever comes tomorrow and your activities. Well good news and bad news. Good news, you'll be given some food, not a hot meal, but more or less of a snack while being transported to one of the warehouses that I'm sure you all know about. Bad news, you'll be bringing an extra person home with you. My little brother ghost is not to be dealt with in a lazy manner. Keep an extra eye on him and be cautious of him. He can be very reckless at times and might even try to trick you.
'So try and be the best at your job and make sure he does not escape. But also do not harm him as well or abuse him. Just keep him locked up in a decent sized cage or cell or whatever you may put him in, give him three meals a day, some fresh air if needed, and overall a decent bill of health until I come for him. Now I do realize some of you already knew that by overhearing, but I just wanted to make sure we were all on board with the plan. Now, you may go to the sub-carrier and you shall be heading home. Your Commander here will also be receiving treatment on board as well for the wounds that I may have given him, but do not worry about your leader's state of health, as I'm sure he be just fine. We have some of the best medical staff within the Ghost community. Now, off you go and have a good night."
The Masked Ghost then motioned for the team to go head and board the sub-carrier and they did. They all got on, except for the Commander who went last. Once everyone of the Commander's team was on board, he slowly got on board and soon the medic was ready to take care of him.
As the medic was getting the Commander in the right position to take care of him, the sub-carrier was slowly ascending upwards into the rainy sky and off to the warehouse. And as soon as it was high enough, the doors closed to the sub-carrier as well, just to point at that little detail so no cow tipper can say any different. After that was gone, the remaining few that were left behind was then looking at The Masked Ghost.
One of the ghost members then asked him, "What do we do now sir?"
The Masked Ghost looked at the one who asked the question, then to all of them and simply said, "Well we head back to the main base of course. To our home. We'll go back and all of you can have a nice hot meal within you all and can relax for rest of the night and rest for tomorrow's sake. I on the other hand will be going back to the drawing board with the team that was behind this whole alternate universe project and we shall rethink this through. Along with figuring out who this 'Knight' person is as well. Alright then, let's head back, I'm sure we all don't want to be caught in the rain any longer."
Soon, they all headed back to base and we come back to my story again. Yeah...kind of long there, but surely some cow tipper would tell me that I didn't go into enough detail, complain, and not wonder if I was going to address it in the future or not with another story to tell from my life and so on.
Basically saying...it was needed to prevent people from going ape shit all over this book and throwing their feces all over the wall...while mysteriously jacking off and throwing their semen as well...at other people...because they're going ape shit. Anyway, that's what happened while I was still at the castle. Now we continue what happened. Well, to be specifically clear and recap, and yes I am aware cow tippers..."that's a bad sign."
Well you know what...quit complaining about the details. And while that is my prediction what the cow tippers will complain about, but it will most likely be what they will complain about as I've learned anything from being on Earth...is that humans never change.
As in...they're never move on from 2015 and chances are by the time this journal gets to Earth, it'll be at a time when people are nostalgia for 2015. Either the year 2033 or 2016, which means it would go back in time..but by now that wouldn't shock me at all. Or maybe even the last three months of 2015 it'll arrive in, because I'm sure by then, people are nostalgic for what happened two days ago.
Anyways, to recap, after those military...whatever kind of unit they were, left and the portal closed, of course they had a device that would self-destruct after the portal closed. Well right before it did, I was kind of a bit curious, so I kind of looked both ways just to may sure the coast was clear...very slightly as I was a bit confused what had just happened. I then went up a little close towards it, and then it self-destruct in my face and I was of course taken a back or stepped back a bit, surprised to what had happened.
I then said to myself quietly, "Why the fuck do these things keep happening to me?"
I then went ahead and just ignored what had happened for the moment and tried to continue what I was there for, to get a map of the castle at the guard post that was on the first floor.
Well, I went ahead and went to the doors to my right, well technically it was my left...I forget, but it was the one not leading to the stairs. The one that was on my ground level that is. Anyways, I headed towards the doors, being careful not to make too much sound as it could cause a disturbance and even attract some guard's attention. Well, I went to the door, used my magic and slowly opened the door. As I opened it, I didn't open it all the way. I simply opened it a crack to be safe.
I took a little peek inside and to somewhat a surprise, I found that it was the first floor...filled with a lot of guards. And the worst bit, none of it was the first floor, it was the main room, main room as in when you first enter the castle, with a small desk in the far right corner that had a map of the castle itself and such. But the problem as I said before it wasn't dark, or did I say that already? Well who cares, this ink doesn't cost ten bits you know...it costs fifty bits...because according to the manufacture, it is made from pure squids...or in other words, they just killed a squid and somehow turned its corpse into ink.
Anyways, it was a brightly lit in the main room, but no one saw the door slightly opening, but I was stuck and not sure what to do. Hell, I didn't think I could make a distraction as all the doors were closed, so I couldn't give myself some time to grab the map quickly.
However, I got lucky, as something happened that was loud. A big boom came from the ceiling, I couldn't tell though where it came from, but it sounded like it came from high from the castle itself.
And it was so loud, bits and pieces of the second floor ceiling...or maybe it was the third....who the fucks cares, bits and pieces of the ceiling came off, and that could only mean one of three things. Either there's a big ass party going up somewhere near the top floor, Celestia or Luna can bang really hard when it comes to sexual intercourse, or TK was in some sort of trouble that he was finding the solution to, in which case it was most likely TK as he would only try to use a big boom...or a big boom will happen if he tried to get out of a situation and didn't care much about stealth too much. With Celestia and Luna, you would hear loud morning, and with the big party, you would hear kick ass party music...so it was TK, but that was in my favor as that kind of distracted the guards somehow...obviously....it distracted them ok...every guard looked up to see what was going on.
One of the guards then said, "What was that?"
Soon, another loud sound can be heard and more pieces of the ceiling came off and fell to the ground.
Soon, a second guard said, "I think that's coming from one of the higher floors of the castle?"
Soon another guard asked, "How do you know?"
Soon the other guard responded with, "Hey, I've been around this castle for years. If you've been around as long as I have, you'll learn the tiniest of details about this place."
Soon a third loud thump could be heard, which then made another guard say, "Should we go outside? Maybe we could see what's going on from the outside. I mean, whatever is happening up there, it must be big, and chances are it wouldn't all be contained all on one floor."
They all nodded their heads and soon all went outside to go see if they could see what was happening on the higher floors. A bit stupid to leave their posts, but then again I wasn't their boss now was I? Anyways, when they left they closed the door behind them so I was pretty much safe to go to get the map that was on the desk in the corner. However, I slowly walked towards the corner, making sure there wasn't any other guards around. around that could hear my hoof steps or see me.
However, I was lucky and no other guard seemed to have been around, so I was in the clear. I made it to the table with the map on it of the castle. And I'm assuming this was the guard's station as what else would it be? I mean it's not like it's going to be a huge room filled with guard stuff.
It was only a table because it just need to be something to hold the appears of schedules, maps, and all that good guard stuff. I mean...there was other stuff on the table as I was looking at the map. I wasn't sure what it was for, but it had something to relate to the guards, that is for sure.
Anyways, I looked at the map, and it was very detailed as well. It wasn't even just one page, there were several pages stapled together and showed different viewpoints of the castle. From an overhead view to a side view of it, along with there being a page for every floor and went into detail what is on each floor. In a way, it's like blueprints, or maybe it was, but it was detailed.
It was so detailed that it gave what type of wood or material was in the walls in the specific spots. This was most likely used in certain situations, to say if the Royal sisters ever got taken hostage for any reason at all, they could use this to their advantage somehow....somehow.
So in a way, it was very smart it seemed to me and unexpected that it would be this way. Although what I didn't see was the secret hidden basement, but really who would want a map to Jizzy G? Well, I took a look at the papers that had the floor maps and I looked through each one carefully, looking for the one that had the elevator on it. I looked through and through and it was a bit of an eye sore because I had to look through so much stuff and trying to find that elevator was like trying to find a black guy at night...because he goes to night school and the teacher counts him absent...because they think he is the night.
And the only way for the black guy to get noticed is to set himself on fire...in which case he'll be known as the burning black guy and soon becomes so famous that he goes back to the 1970's to kill his younger self and rape his younger self before he disappears because...why not? I looked through the first floor, obviously it wouldn't be on there because from being at Celestia's school all the damn time, I know the first floor like the back of my hand. Same thing can be said for the next five floors.
But then after that it gets a little hazy as I wasn't too familiar with the upper floor's layout plan. I only knew so much that would keep me alive. Anyways, while looking, I also found some of the layout maps to Celestia's school along with my old room at the tower that connected to the castle. It was like old memories that was flooding back to me, because it felt like it was so long ago, despite it not being that long ago that I had left the school to go to Stalia and go through a living nightmare and such.
But then again, when I think about it twice, that school wasn't everything. I mean, it wasn't a huge deal. I had a decent time is all, so in a way, it would be stupid of me to cry over something simple like school that I had a decent time at as it wasn't that great. I had bad times, but good times though at least, but still...it all came back to me when I saw that map.
Well, I continued looking for the correct floor while trying to close my eyes and giving it some sort of comfort from looking at the eye sore that was in front of me. I eventually found the correct floor after digging through so much text for about thirty minutes. Maybe it was less because I had to be quick of course, but I'm not a hundred percent sure as I can't remember every little detail, nor do I care about the amount of time it took me that much either.
I found the correct floor and it was the fourteenth floor surprisingly that had the elevator that would take us to the archives...the files....whatever. However, when I found the correct floor, I had a bit of a smile on my face knowing that I had finally found it, I sensed a disturbance in the air. As if something or someone was watching me.
It wasn't anything supernatural or anything like what TK went through, but someone that was working at the castle and knew that I was there. In other words, I knew that I was going to be caught red handed and possibly sent to jail or dungeon or whatever it is in this universe for breaking and entering into the castle, the royal caste that is.
Or who knows, maybe punishment is death. And that would be a bit weird and a bit funny...right? I was born on Earth, but yet I don't die on Earth. I die somewhere else far away from Earth. A place where no one that I knew from Earth would to think that I would die at. I'm not complaining, in fact it's awesome to die somewhere other than Earth, but who can say that they died and passed on to the beyond anywhere but Earth?
Or for that matter, died in a My Little Pony universe. That's kind of cool when you think about it, but kind of weird and funny at the same time though because it isn't natural to be born somewhere else and die somewhere else. But it 's interesting nonetheless.
Of course I did think of that when I thought I was going to get caught. But maybe it wouldn't be death or imprisonment as far as punishment goes. Maybe it would be something else. I'm not sure what else but there can be so many ideas as far as punishments go, that I don't think it's worth thinking about it. Well, I was standing still, not looking behind me because no matter how you put it, I was going to get caught and who knows what it would have been right? Well, I stood perfectly still and I heard hoofsteps coming towards me. Where did this pony come from?
I'm not sure, I was too busy looking at the maps to even care enough and give a rat's ass. Although I'm not sure why I would want to give a rat's ass....or a rat's asshole for that matter. Well, I just stood perfectly still, awaiting for my demise. However, instead of being pushed down to the ground by some guard or some higher authority for trespassing, especially at night, I hear something else that surprised me. I hear a soft and sweet voice that was comforting to a young child.
The voice said, "Knight? What are you doing here at two thirty in the morning?"
I was a bit shocked to what I was hearing and I slowly turned my head. To my surprise, it was Princess Celestia who was there and she didn't look angry or anything. She looked a bit confused, but aside from that, she looked like she was a bit happy to see me, her personal student and such, at her castle in the middle of the night.
Now of course this could easily turn into an erotic story and me fucking Celestia or something in bed. Perhaps even turning into a human for the both of us that is, Celestia having big tits and her sucking my cock.
Or me pleasuring her and both of us in her bed fucking each other by humping each other's brains out. Or maybe even having a threesome with Luna, and while there is some kid that is in high school that has problems...scary problems...who reads this will most likely write fan fiction of it and include Darth Vader, Spock, and Doctor Who in it as well.
I mean come on, this is a perfect situation for me to fuck Celestia at night and turning it into a romantic situation. Besides, people eat that up and chances are the Cow Tippers would go away if that would happen if I were to include a romance between me and Celestia....or a love triangle between Me, Celestia, and Luna.
But of course that's not going to happen because that is one of the most stupidest things that anyone can come up with. That's because why would I need to love the first mare that I see and form a romantic relationship with, along with needing that kind of love?
None, that's the answer.
Anyways, I turn to her and look at her eye and said, "Well...I just wanted to look for something."
Celestia then said, with a bit of a smile, "Well why didn't you just send a message earlier? I could have helped you out to find what you need if you just simply sent a message by using Wolf. But that's fine, hope you find what you're looking for. Oh...and Happy Tuesday!"
She walked off with a smile, although she was most likely awake in the middle of the night because of the noise, but she seemed pretty calm about it though.
But then again she is supposed to be the leader of all of Equestria, so I suppose it's understandable. Also, apparently from what I could tell from what Celestia told me is that I could have just waltzed right into the castle and it would have been fine.
Then again what about the guards, I'm unsure of that part. But then again I would have been fine and so all of this sneaking around was completely pointless and I wasted my life. But at least there was Jizzy G though...at least that was slightly interesting.
Anyways, I felt like it was all for nothing what I did, but I decided not to concentrate on the bad and just tell my information on the floor to TK. Celestia was out of sight and the guards seemed to have been outside the entire time, so I went ahead and went and tried to connect with TK. I waited for him to connect, or in this case to pick up on the other end since we still had those things in our ears. I said, "TK, do you read me?"
I didn't get a response back. All I got was just silence, pure silence that always made me unsettle at times.
I then tried to get into contact with him again and asked, "TK...are you there?"
Still, nothing but silence. It was starting to scare me in truth, that silence.
I then tried to do it again and then said, "TK, are you still there with me and the land of the living?"
Then finally I got a response back.
TK said to me from the other end of the line, "I'm not among the land of the living Knight. I'm the devil, remember?"
I then said back, "Yeah, but technically you're still alive. Are you ok...you didn't pick up when I tried to call you from way down here."
TK then said to me, "I'm fine and you should know that. Remember, I'm dead and I'm the devil, it'll take a lot more fire power to kill me. And you know that."
I then told him, "Well who knows TK...we don't know everything that goes on with creation and if they die or not and blah blah blah...you get my point. That or some sort of writing god could kill you off, but who the fuck knows...right?"
TK then said, "I get what you're saying, but even then maybe even that so called "Writing god" could also have his god who writes his story and could kill him off."
I then was not sure what he was saying and I told TK, "Uhhh....I'm confused...what's your point..."
TK then said to me, "What I'm saying is, you're right that we don't know everything. That there are many possibilities when it comes to the universes. That is the example of what could be our reality of a god that controls everything with just writing or drawing or something similar could very well have a god that does the something for our god. I'm not saying that is what it is, but it's only a possibility how deep reality can go."
I then told him, "You know your speeches are sometimes starting to get annoying. I get your point, it's like wondering if we're in the matrix or not, or we're just holograms or we are absolutely nothing or this universe is just a figment of my imagination and really I'm still back on Earth in a weird coma that I don't remember getting into. Or maybe this is all a dream or maybe I'm dead and this is just my vision of heaven. I get your point about questioning reality, I'm just saying is all it's starting to wear me and others down on your speeches and philosophy and shit like that you know?"
TK then said to me, "Knight...does it sound like I give a fuck?"
I then said to him, "I know...just saying is all. And I'm sure Lawman would say the exact same thing too if he was still around."
TK then said, "He did...he said it when I met him not long ago."
I was then a bit shocked and asked, "Wait....you saw Lawman?"
TK then said to me in response, "Long story, so....are you ok?"
I then told him, "Well, everything seems to be ok on my end. Apparently we could have just walked through the front door this entire time because I just met Celestia. She didn't seem shocked at all that I was in the castle without her knowledge. So if I had to guess we could have easily went through the front door and we didn't have to go through any of this trouble tonight and she would have been fine with it."
TK then said to me, "You're know she wouldn't have been fine with me walking in right?"
I then said to him, "Oh yeah...right....she kind of hates your guts, but still tolerates your existence and me being friends with you...well sort of friends that is...and alright seeing you anywhere else but inside her domain or in other words her precious castle. But hey, that's fine. Anyways, I just found what floor we have to go to get to those files."
TK then told me, " I know...the fourteenth floor."
I then told him, "What? Are you serious, that just makes it worse for me because you figured it out without my help....unless of course you can read my mind right now...can you?"
TK then said to me, but with a tone, "No you idiot. I found out not long ago. I'll meet you on the fourteenth floor."
I then told him, "Yeah...that might be a bit difficult, I'm on the first floor and it might take me a long time to get to the fourteenth floor. Not only to mention I do believe guards are running all over the place."
And what do you know, right when I said that, those guards that were outside opened the door and went by me, but did see me and thought nothing of it and thought I was ok. But then there were other guards running down and up the steps , going into different floors, most likely because what happened on TK's end of things.
TK then told me, "Don't worry...I got you covered."
Soon, I felt a quick breeze of cold and heat at the same time rush behind me, and soon I was on the fourteenth floor. what happened?
Well, TK used his devil powers and teleported me to the first floor and he ended up right behind me, grabbed me, and teleported me to the fourteenth floor with no hassle but a feeling of dizziness a bit.
Although like I said....TK can't do it all the time if he doesn't have the energy. Anyway, that's my last journey through the amazing castle that night....well almost that is. We still have to get to the archive part and what not and...well you get the idea.
Now here's TK's part if you don't mind. Or at least what happened on his end.
TK:
So then...here's TK part on what the hell happened with those noises and such. Trust me, it'll be fun.
Anyways, TK had just finished his business with the twelfth floor. It was long and brutal in a way because TK had to go through that entire thing where he faced his demons from his past and saw Lawman. Technically he was facing them, as he really doesn't care about the kids he killed.
He just did what he had to do. Or in other words, he does what he does. In result of that, he didn't have to face that, although he did kind of needed to face who he is, a demon, the devil, the boogeyman, the monster that hides under your bed at night. TK in all honesty is that monster that would hide under your bed at night.
He doesn't care about human compassion or the human spirit. In fact, he would prefer to distant himself from the human spirit and compassion and the humanity. He wants to be as far as possible.
So if that means being the boogeyman, then so be it then. He'll just be feared, and he mostly is...mostly...all across the land or wherever he goes if he shows his true colors. At first glance he could be some sort of super hero or something, but when he shows who he really is, how he sees reality and life itself. Once he shows how he lives life, he'll be feared as the monster that everyone fears. And in truth there is a monster within TK somewhere that if he does unleash it, he'll be the most feared monster of all time.
He's a beast really. And that's just how I made him...someone that is not human. And one that does not care for being human. He once was born human, raised as a human, but he grew up and tried to go as far away as possible from that though, and that's why he didn't care about what he did and why they saw him that way. Although that chant that they said still perplexes me however.
I can't seem to wrap my mind what they were trying to get their point across when they were saying that to him. Then of course there was Lawman...at the time it was a surprise, now...it's alright. He was a good guy though. And as for Beast, I think that's his name, I'm not sure because really who cares about names except for the ones that you need to remember. But then again...you would need to remember him...even if it is fifty years from now....whatever, you get the point.
I mean I'm out every night writing my life story on a bird, phoenix, and I don't have time to memorize all the minor things in my life. Besides, I'm busy most of the time...clearly...with my sisters...But still though, anyways, TK got out of the floor that he was on the last time and headed for the thirteenth floor. And I'll go through the steps from before the annoying cow tippers out there create a commotion you whinny mother fuckers.
TK got out of the window and had those claw things once more. And yes, he had somehow gained a little more energy to continue on. He then went with left hoof, right hoof over and over and over and over and over and over...and if you want me to go into more detail about how he went with right hoof and left hoof, either I'll blow my brains out right now(Granted that wouldn't do me any good) or I'll fucking go to your Cow Tipper's place of worship and burn that place to the ground...I know where it's at!
You can't fool me! And your precious dictionary books will get it too...wait....do you cow tippers have dictionaries....or is it something else I'm thinking of. Oh well, you get the picture, whatever you hold dear to your hearts I'll burn...but if it's the church's pets I'll skin them alive.
But aside from that...you get the warning. And if you have forgotten who you cow tippers are out there...Well I'm sure you'll remember yourself...find yourself...because you haven't done it yet. Then again you'll never find yourself...because...all you have to do is look into a mirror and you found yourself and you do it every day...it makes sense. Anyways, TK went up the wall, the only difference this time the length between the twelfth floor and the thirteenth floor was much longer and was tall enough for a semi-giant of some kind to be at, that's because the thirteenth floor was a bit of a special floor where all the stain glass windows was at.
Not like the ones at Celestia's throne room where the prophecies are told and shit like that...but just regular stain glass windows of Equestrian's history like Star Swirl the Bearded. Or maybe Clover the Clever...or something like that you know. You know, the ancients and greats and such. Only problem this time for TK that was also a bit of a challenge was that he would need to make an opening for himself, perhaps through one of the glass windows, as there seemed to have been no nearby entrance.
So once TK got near the windows, the glass one of course that had a picture of Star Swirl the Bearded on it in a majestic pose...because why not...he tried his best to look through the glass to see if there were any guards nearby for he did need to break the glass. So, what happened next is that TK had a tight grip with the claws and stuff on his right hoof and retracted the left hoof claw and proceeded to give the window a good punch with his left hoof. It only made a small crack.
Soon TK moved for a second punch, only made the crack even bigger. Finally, the third punch made it all happen and broke the glass and a hole big enough for TK to go through. In which case, the sound wasn't that loud, and none of the glass fell outside, only inside. So, once TK had made an entry into the next floor, he proceeded to move through the decent sized hole and went through it with ease. He soon got in and the floor he was on now seemed to have been really big...even bigger than you could imagine.
I mean, from what I've seen of memories past, you wonder how a floor like this could even be made, it was like an old church from the sixteenth century. Granted there were still halls and such, in fact the halls were a plus sign, where the four corners were big rooms. Of course all TK could do was look all around and gaze upon the floor's gloriousness...despite him being unamused by it as he wasn't there for sightseeing and besides he has seen more than this through the adventures that we had together along with Factory Dash. On the sides of the hallways, there were tall columns to support the floor with doors leading into the four corners as well. TK was careful to make sure no guards were around as well, so he quietly walked as well, making sure no guards would see him.
However, the strange thing is, he didn't find any guards, it was as if they had disappeared or were never to be stationed on that floor at all. But TK knew better, this was a castle that held one of the most highly respected leaders in the country and this one big floor does not have any guards in it, it was just bullshit to him. TK looked around and once he got in the center of four-way hallway, he saw some blood on the carpet...the red carpet that is, but of course he could only pick it up with his devil senses and helmet, and it seemed to be coming from one of the corner rooms.
Of course TK was only there for finding the correct floor, but course trouble always seem to come his way as well. He was the devil after all, so of course he would have to deal with trouble as well.
Anyways, he followed the blood trail and there were two big double doors leading into one of the corner rooms. It was the only doors that led into the room as well and TK was just about to open the doors as well, but he hesitated for a bit, he could sense something was off. However, he knew that no matter what...he would need to take care of whatever was behind it, who knew....maybe the elevator was in that room...right?
Well, TK slowly opened the door and took a peek inside, but soon just decided to swing the entire door open. He did and what he saw almost looked like a church, but it wasn't. There was only a bench or two with the entire room being supported with columns and a giant door that wasn't too big kind of but still though, that had been opened.
And the worst part that TK knew that was off, there was a steel lock on the floor, as in indicating that the door was meant to be closed and was closed for a reason too. However, he didn't see anything else...except for a lot of dead guards. Some guards were torn open, guts hanging out, others....didn't have any organs inside of their lifeless bodies at all. Some were decapitated, others just plain dead that was losing a lot of blood as well. Of course TK needed to know what happened, so he reconstructed that virtual thing that he did before in my room that one time. the thing that projects a virtual simulation...should have mentioned that before.
There wasn't much to go off of as all he saw was a bunch of the same guards were in the room that he saw dead that were in the reconstruction and it showed them having smiles on their faces. That and it showed them unlocking the door, he wasn't sure why they did it, but it just happened, and soon, what he saw was that once they unlocked it, the door swung opened quickly and soon it all went dark.
He couldn't tell what happened next as it was all hazy and vague. He was surprised the virtual reconstruction wasn't even that detailed as it would be. Something was certainly amidst. Soon, there was a bit of a screeching on the other end of the communication line. And of course if you remember it was me.
TK then said, “What is it? You found what floor the elevator is on yet?”
I then said to him, “Uhh no…TK…I did not. In fact I pretty much got myself into a bad type of situation right now.”
TK then asked me, "What trouble did you get into this time Knight?"
I then told him on my end, “Well, let’s just say I may have come into contact with a guard and pissed him off by knowing a little dirty secret of his, and so he put me in this secret hidden basement that not even the princesses knows about, where they send in anyone that tries to break in or that pisses them off to die. However, the guard told me, and he was telling the truth, that there is a way out to the second floor as there is a lift, but it needs a key. Now I have no idea where this key is even at in the first place.
'However, if I had to guess, it’s on some sort of monster that has been killing all those that enter the basement, hints as to why no one has ever spoken up about the hidden basement. So really, I’m starting to get freaked out right now what’s in this basement. I tried doing something to the electric motor that activates the lift, but without the proper tools, I wouldn’t be able to get it open and re-wire it to get it to go up. The best I can do is kick it and shoot darts that have drugs that knocks out the guards at it. So really, in the end, I’m screwed unless you can help me out right now.”
TK looked around, making sure nothing was there behind him. He was checking his surroundings and saw some shadows, but he couldn't concentrate on that as he was talking to me.
TK then responded to me with, “Well, I’m busy and as much in trouble just as much as you are right now.”
I then asked him while TK was staring at the opened door and what kind of beast that could have been hidden within it, “What are you talking about TK? Is something going on up there? Did you get caught or something?”
TK then said to me, “It’s mostly like the problem that you have, except the opposite.”
I then told him, “I don’t get it TK.”
TK then told me, “Let’s just say that the guards let something out that they shouldn't have let out in the first place. Listen, just try and hold out as long as you can, I’ll try to get down there as soon as I take care of my problem first. And if you can take care of your problem, just continue to look for…”
Soon, there was a loud crash, and to TK's surprise as he paid no attention to me talking on the other end of the line, TK saw a monster drop from the high ceiling. The monster was disgusting looking and had big eyes that had a look of hunger in them, but at the same time pissed off eyes as well. The monster had two front arms, but had a tail at the end with no back legs, and at the end it was kind of a bit slimy as well. The monster slowly opened its mouth, not roaring at TK, but TK could see the monster's sharp teeth as well. It also seemed to be not an intelligent creature from TK's last encounter as well.
TK soon cut off the line of communication to deal with the monster that was in front of him. He slowly walked up towards this thing and as he did, he saw cracks were made on the floor as well. He could tell that if the monster were to do any more damage to the current floor he was on, it would destroy the floor and perhaps even the entire castle.
Hell, TK seemed to have been just surprised that the monster could be on this floor. But if you want to know how it did...just pretend it was magic.
Anyways, TK went up to it and went close to its face and said right into its eyes, "You're one ugly son of a bitch aren't you?"
Then the moment came where the monster seemed to have been a bit self-aware of the insult that TK had used towards it and soon roared in TK's face. It roared loud, but yet it didn't bother TK, not one bit at all.
TK then said, "Well that's my cue to fucking kill you or make you fuck off. Either way, you're fucking pissing me off right now and I'm not in the mood tonight to be fucking pissed off you mother fucker."
TK then looked like he was going to charge his good ol' devil powers to fight the monster...but soon something went wrong. He looked down towards his hooves and saw that nothing was happening. And it seemed to have then occurred to TK that he was weak on souls. That he needed more souls to feed on in order to fight this monster as this monster didn't seem it was going to go down with just a simple gunshot to the head...not even if it was the Devil's shotgun as well.
So, TK then looked up towards the monster and said to himself quietly, "Looks like I'm a little low on energy. Fuck."
And then the monster proceeded to use its left arm and tried to swipe and knock TK to the ground, but TK was fast enough and dogged under the monster's arm within time and all the monster did was break a few columns that was within the church like room.
Soon TK looked towards at the doors that he came into and soon made a run for it as the monster tried to follow him. Either for its meal or for its next kill, TK wasn't getting out of this one easy like the last one. He would need to either find more energy or come up with something smart.
Soon, TK went through the big double doors and headed for the room that was across the hallway and he was just close enough towards the door that was a metal door and went into the room, the monster broke through the walls, and tons of debris fell all around as the columns in that particular area fell to the ground, but the floor was still standing though. Luckily, it would seem to me that with all the debris that this monster made, it blocked and plagued its vision so it didn't see TK go through the metal door.
Once TK had galloped his way inside the room, he had closed it and looked through a small little window that was on the door to see if the monster was coming for him. Instead, all it did was roam the hallways though, seeing if TK had went anywhere else. Its tail slithered along the floor, making a small trail of slime in its wake.
Once TK knew he was safe for a bit, he knew he can come up with a plan to take whatever that thing was down. He then looked to see what kind of room he was in and what he saw was a kitchen.
It wasn't a typical kitchen however, it was a kitchen that had raw meat on the counters and such, as if it was some sort of storage of food for the beast that he had encountered and this was where all the meat was processed. Of course this seemed to have also been one of the guard's many secrets, as it seemed odd to TK with the body language he was giving off. And in truth he was right, this was one of the guard's little secrets that they kept from Celestia.
However, it was a very good secret that not every guard knew of. The story goes like this, when the castle was being built, an elite order of royal guards known as The Six were a legendary group of Royal Guards that protected the royal leaders with all their might and were very good at it as well. However this was thousands of years ago, even before Celestia's time of reign as well.
These six royal guards made a vow to protect and serve while also hiding a little trick up their sleeves. When the castle was being built for a previous ruler before Celestia and Luna's reign, the thirteenth floor was made and not even the royal leaders were allowed to enter it.
However, they were just lied to and told whoever was the leader that it was just a boring old storage floor and that it was none of their interest to go and check, and it seemed to have worked all of these years. Well, this place was a place of worship but at the same time their headquarters.
It's a bit tough to explain, but let's just say that they kept that monster there as a secret weapon, trained and ready to kill if a big threat were to ever come to the royal leader. Say if there was a giant crab monster, The Six would release this monster to attack at as they trained it well and to follow their commands.
And soon their little group was passed down from generation to generation, however as the recent years passed, their bloodlines of the past five hundred years have dwindled and now into nothingness, as none of relation has either joined the royal guards or completely wiped out their bloodline altogether.
In other words, there are no members of The Six left, so the floor was empty and the monster was forgotten, but only is commanded by The Six as well. So, no one had entered, not even the current guards, although there were rumors among the many guards it seem about the thirteenth floor, but that monster was ancient.
Anyways, the meat on the counter wasn't rotten, it somehow was preserved, but again, let's just say magic. Anyways, TK looked around, but saw nothing that he could use to fight back against this mobster, at least the way he looked at his surroundings that is. But then he saw a little wooden trap door open from the floor and he saw one of the Royal Guard members, shake in fear and looking around as he heard someone come through the door.
He didn't see TK just yet, but he knew someone was there. He slowly turned around and saw TK with a bit of relief.
He then said, out loud, as he had a bit of a black mustache on his face, "Oh thank the heavens...you're here to rescue me!?"
TK then said, "No...I'm just here looking for something and all I stumble upon is something that you and your dead buddies over there's mistake. What happened?"
The guard then lost color in his face and soon was filled with fear as he had hoped that he would be rescued, but he then cleared that thought and then got out of the trap door, which was really a wine cellar and looked at TK as he slowly walked towards him.
He then proceeded to say to him, "Look...we don't know what we were doing ok...we were just thought it was all a myth."
TK then said, "A Myth?"
The guard that had a small mustache that strangely looked French then said to him, "Yes, this entire floor was said to be a myth and one of the guards said he found a key while looking at one of the old maps in the castle's basement. And of course always working as Royal Guards, we hear strange stuff you know like one of the statues coming alive at night in the gardens or hearing ghosts at night. One of the stories is of this floor, we all thought it was a myth, sure some believed in it, but we just thought it was just some old tale that you would tell to your kids before bed is all. Well, he found a key to this floor and we all thought we would check it out, even one of them brought their child along as well because we all thought we were going to have a party up here and have a little fun you know.
'Well, we were looking around, not sure what this place even was. Hell, we saw this kitchen and thought it wasn't for real. I mean meat on a table that has been here for god knows how long!? It's just disgusting! But you know how ponies are...we don't eat meat...so seeing that meat just shocked us. Well, we looked around some more and we found that church room. We saw a door was locked and thought to ourselves, 'Hey, what bad could happen right?' Well we were wrong...we were just being stupid! Stupid and dumb I tell ya! Soon we saw that monster and we all froze.
'We didn't know what to do. Soon that kid that guy brought along soon ran away screaming and that monster was soon after us all. It got all of my friends, none of them left. I just want to get out of here....I want to go home...I want this nightmare to end! But don't worry...I think I've got an escape plan."
Soon the guard walked to another door that was looking on the other side of the room, or a corner of the room or whatever...and he was looking through the window of the door and he saw the monster there as well.
He then said to TK, "Now, I've been studying this thing for a bit and it seems to me that this thing has poor hearing, so if we are very quiet, we can walk past him and..."
And soon TK did something to the guard. What happened you may ask Mr. Cow Tipper? Well, I'm glad you ask you cancer of society. You see what happened was while this guard was talking, it looked like TK was looking through this guard's history and his life and as I know TK, he most likely didn't lead a very good life, so of course TK pretty much executed him right when he cut him off.
The way he did it was by pulling him towards him and then putting two hooves in his mouth and ripping it outwards and shoved his right hoof inside of his mouth and soon pulled out a ball of light which was the guard's soul...and soon TK consumed that soul and gained a little energy as he left the dead body of the guard fall down. Another way of gaining energy you could say for TK.
How he consumed, I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't want to know as he is the devil, so imagine some nightmare-ish imagery of TK consuming a soul as he is the devil after all. Although I always questioned...perhaps that guy wasn't bad at all, and TK just killed him for the energy...but I'm not sure and no one cares. So let's move on with what happened here.
So yeah, you get what TK did, he killed the guard who had a snooty like mustache. Now of course what he did is up to you and your imagination as it is to me or maybe he didn't do anything wrong, but whatever. TK then saw the bloody corpse that he just made fall to the floor with a bit of a disgusting look to it all in the end.
As in his head was disfigured and his jaw was just ripped apart and broken. But that's just how TK does his work and that's how it has always been.
TK then said to the dead body, well not really to the dead body, more or less himself, "I'm still low on energy. I still need more souls if I want to kill that thing. Although if he escaped, maybe there might be at least a few others that was able to escape with their lives intact. It's not much to go on though, but if I want to take down that thing tonight, I need energy...I need souls...I need more power."
TK then went to the door and looked out the little window of that said door that the guard was looking out before TK ripped him apart to take his soul and such and saw the monster was there.
However he didn't notice him or anything as it had poor hearing as the guard said and it was dumbly looking at the glass windows for no reason, possibly thinking that TK might just magically pop out of nowhere and it can get him. TK was right in front of the beast, but he was looking at the side of the beast, not in the front. He could see the slime slowly dripping off the monster's tail as the monster was holding itself up with the two forearms it had. He then looked at the arms a bit more better and saw that it had sort of had claws attached to it.
However it didn't appear to be short of anything, or at least anything that he has ever seen in his many fights with demons, the previous devil of his universe, people, ghosts, phantoms...the list could go on what he has seen before. And what he was seeing in front of him at that moment, the monster, was nothing compared to other dangers he had once faced.
However it was certainly a challenge though, but nothing that he can't handle though. Granted, he'll die for sure if he were to do nothing, so of course he would need to do something.
So TK then proceeded to open the door, the metal door and slowly too, as he didn't want to make any sound whatsoever to risk a chance of the monster hearing his position...especially since he was right next to it and all. Granted, one more time for the cow tippers, that's what I saw from TK's body language and how he did it...just making sure no cow tippers complain is all...those cow tippers will have a nice book burning if they complain...and then have an orgy too while they are at it because why not...it's a good ol' fashioned book burning.
Next thing that happened next was TK made it outside without making a single sound, and since he was on the carpet, that would give him an advantage to not making a sound. So, he slowly closed the door behind him without also making a single noise that would give away his position, or at least a risk of giving away his position since he was told the monster had a poor sense of hearing, but I'm sure it has some sort of hearing however.
So, TK then quietly walked over diagonally to the next room, as he was sure it wasn't bright to move across since the monster may or may not see him. As TK was walking, he saw the chaos and the mess that the monster had made when he broke through the wall.
There was debris everywhere and it had looked like the dust of it all was just about settling down. He saw the huge hole that was made on the wall that was for the church like room. Of course TK seemed a bit curious as to what that room was for.
Perhaps The Six worshiped the powerful Alicorns but he wasn't sure, nor did he care. For all he cared, this god of this universe could go fuck him or herself and he wouldn't give a damn about it since he was sort of a god himself, but at the same time never cared really. But really in the end, who cares anyway? well TK walked to the room diagonally from the previous room he was in.
He did so very quietly and walked around the columns as well. Speaking of the columns, it had looked like the columns could collapse at any moment with all of this destruction going around, it was an old floor so that only added to the problem.
Well TK made it to the other end without a sound, he's just that good, but every now and then someone or something could be a step ahead of him, but that doesn't matter as he is a fucking badass...and you know what...I'm kind of proud of it too. Especially seeing him grow up....and become the devil....they grow up so fast you know?
First you see them and they try and kill you because they think that you're an intruder...then you tell them the truth and they respect you and listen to you...and they follow you. And ending up teaching how to kill, how to shoot...how to fight with your fists...or hooves...and how to be smart and use your wits to get out of a tight situation.
And then as they slowly go into their teenage years they....kind of rebel...but you then start have a bond with them and you go on awesome adventures with them...and when it's time for them to go off to college...well you just wish you're there to see them off...because it'll be a long time before you ever do see them again.
Of course I couldn't because I was trapped in that one universe...but then you see them all grown up when they come home and see you and you cry a little inside as you're proud that they made something of themselves...and become the devil...and is now a leader of the undead and has an army of demons at his disposal and might just end up killing you one day and stuff like that and...you can't help but feel like they just grow up too damn fast...brings a tear to your eye doesn't it?
But he'll always be my little TK...yeah...but aside from that yeah he was a badass and kind proud of making him. Well, TK saw the door and it was another door, but this time there was no window to it. In fact it looked like a stronger door then the door was to the kitchen back there, so it seemed that this was a bit more or less of a serious room and may or may not hold dangers within it.
TK then went for the door handle and once he opened the door, TK got a little surprise and saw a another royal guard who had a rugged beard and was holding a weapon in his mouth.
No not a gun like from the human world, but it looked like a gun that could shoot out streaks of lighting, it was a bit odd, but he saw the royal guard holding it in his mouth and was aiming it at him. When TK saw he was aiming it at him, he then stood still, as a wrong move could not just hurt him a little, but also bring the monster's attention to him.
However, luckily the royal guard waited to make sure he was alright to be with and didn't look like he was there to hurt him in any way possible.
Once the guard was sure enough, he dropped the gun on the floor, which didn't make much of a sound, not even loud enough for the monster to hear from inside that room and he said, "Come in quietly and close the door."
TK did what he was told and closed it slowly and quietly to make sure the monster would come his way.
Soon the guard said, "Well then...who are you?"
TK then said, "None of your business. what you can tell me what is this room?"
Then the guard had a little smirk on his face and then said, "Well...it's true....it's none of my damn business to know who you are...just curious is all. And to answer your question...I have no clue what this room is. Your guess is just as good as mine what this place could be."
And when he said that, TK looked around the room. The room held strange and unique weapons on the wall. Some seemed easy to handle, while others didn't seem to be clear on how to even use it. It was a bit odd in a way. And then there were tables, some wooden, some metal.
Some had more weapons on it, others parts of weapons as if some mad scientist was there and experimenting with different things to make things work or make a mad creation of his that would destroy the world or something like that. Some tables in the corners had some circuitry going on, but the room looked like it was abandoned and was never used again. And in the far corner, there were three target dummies, most likely for target practice, but TK didn't want to concentrate on what room looked like as there was a fluorescent light bulbs lighting the room.
The guard continued to say, "But I may have a good idea what this place was once used for. Tell me...have you ever heard of a myth called The Six?"
TK responded with, "No."
Simple answer...but yet so powerful...am I right liberal art college...campus...anyways, the guard then said, "Well, it's a long myth, but to keep it all short, here's a nice simple version for you. There was once an elite group of Royal Guards at this very castle that made all of this shit here. They made this floor when this castle was being built and they made it for a reason. You see they were an order, an order to protect the royalty from being killed. They saw it was their duty to protect the royal bloodline at all cost. So, they felt they needed to make the thirteenth floor and here we are now. This floor, at least from what I can guess that is, was for their purposes only.
'That beast right there...I think they made that thing out there...I think they made it in case if something big was in their way, they have a little trick that they can use and that was it. If I had to guess, either they knew how to train it, and only them, or they failed and kept it locked up all these years. And the weird thing, they kept it locked up in that one room, I'm guessing you saw it, because I kind of saw you run out.
'Anyways, I have no idea what they were doing in that room other than worshipping that thing or god or something...who knows right? Or maybe it was an execution room of some kind where the guilty would be put to death by being fed to that monster over there. The room next to it was the kitchen it seems...where they would feed it. Now where they got that meat from I have no clue and I don't want to find out. It's honestly disgusting, but who knows...maybe they were cannibals or something... Well, the next room from this room...from what I saw it was a meeting room where they would gather around a big table and just talk.
'That is what it would seem to me that is. This room...now I'm guessing they were really loyal to the bloodline, because this shit here is next level defense, and I'm guessing they really wanted to protect the royal bloodline as much as they could, because I've honestly tried some of these things out and these things are mighty powerful.
'Never seen anything like it before. And maybe for good reasons too...but I've got to admit...it's kind of cool and could defiantly be used for us guards, especially when dealing with more dangerous threats. Just seems obvious is all, but I might be thinking of too much about myself right now and not thinking about what kind of affects it could have in this world if the existence of this gets out. But, we'll see what happens when we get out...well if we get out that is."
TK then asked after staying silent for a bit, "How did you survive?"
The guard then said, "Well, once I saw that thing come out and started eating up my friends and ripping them to shreds, I made a break for it since I knew I would either be dead or have a chance of living if I ran for it. I ran for it and into the safest room that I thought was the best...and I picked this one. And I'm glad too...because I think I could use these weapons to kill that thing. Heck, since you came in, it just makes the odds of our survival a bit more better in either escaping or killing that thing. Of course we'll need to work together on this if we want to live, but you get the idea. If we work together, we'll be out of here in no time. Now I've been looking at these weapons and I'm not entirely sure how all of these work, but I'm sure you and I will figure it out and we can face that thing."
The guard went ahead and picked up the gun that he had when TK opened the door and was aiming at him in self defense and said while talking through his teeth the best he could, "Now, I've used this weapon before...and trust me....you're going to see some serious shit when you see this thing fires."
As the guard was aiming it and using one of his hooves at one of the target dummies, TK slowly walked up behind him and...you guessed it...if you did guess that is...that he killed him just about the same way he did to the other guy and collected his soul and devoured it for more energy.
And if you did guessed it right...then you get a shiny gold star...good for you. Well, for you cow tippers out there, he ripped the jaw out as usual and reached deep inside passed his throat to collect his soul and ate it. Well, he did a little more than that, he kind of pulled him up right and punched through his chest and this opened up his jaw, but you get the idea, he did it brutally, but only to get the soul out as it seems to me that it's not easy to do so.
Well, after that, TK then said to himself once more, "I need at least one more soul if I want to kill that thing. I could always check in that other room that he said that was next door."
And so TK turned around and headed for the only door that was in the place. Also, might I add that it is a bit of a shame that he didn't choose to use their guns...because those things looked awesome. It looks like it came from that one game from long ago...The Order: 1886...but really who gives a fuck though...and it is a bit sad I suppose that he killed that guy.
He seemed like a likable guy...but all average lives must come to an end one day and have their souls eaten by devils and demons...it's just natural and the circle life you know.
Anyways TK gathered his thoughts up and headed for the only doorway he came through. He then opened it up slowly and quietly as best as he could so he wouldn't bring attention to him and such.
However, there was one thing he wasn't expecting. Once TK was halfway through the door, the monster was by the door that TK was at. TK froze in his tracks and saw the monster was staring at him.
There was nothing but silence as the monster looked at him as if he was really pissed off and wanted to rip his body into a billion pieces. The monster had its mouth slightly open as well, as TK could see a bit of its sharp teeth that was ready to pierce through TK's body and rip him in half.
TK then said to the monster, "Fuck you."
The monster then roared to him and it then raised its right arm and tried to swipe TK off his hooves, however TK dogged within time and all the monster did was break even more columns, making the floor even more unstable. TK on the other hand was running towards to the window he came from, where he entered from, and where the beast was once at one point. However, TK then stopped right before he went through the entrance he came from and soon turned around to look at the beast that was after him.
When he did, he saw the beast was in the middle of the hallway, looking at him with eyes that wanted to kill him and it soon roared once more. To which then the monster proceeded to quickly as it could and sort of crawled to TK, since it only had the two forearms and everything.
As just about when the monster was going to get TK, TK soon ran the other way and since the monster was big, it needed to turn around...and fast. So it sort of did a ninety degree turn, but not without sliding into the window and breaking it, which then made a huge mess of glass outside.
The monster made the turn however and didn't fall outside and soon quickly put more energy into capturing TK, but all that happened was that TK was a bit too slow and the monster was about to slam TK right into the ground as it raised its right arm in the air.
However, TK was too fast as he soon jumped ahead a few feet as the monster slammed its right arm on to the floor, which in turn made the floor reached its limits and soon the floor started to collapse. The floor underneath the monster fell and broke into several pieces and the monster was on the floor below that TK was on not too long ago.
However, this made the entire floor crumble and TK saw as he was running towards the other end of the floor to the other glass window that the floor was collapsing and so TK tried to pick up the pace. However he was not lucky enough and soon fell to the floor below him that he was already on before.
In which case TK landed face first on the ground and the floor was crumbling around him. There was dust and debris everywhere as well.
However, he was strong so he quickly got up as fast as he could. He looked upwards to see what was once the floor he was once on and saw it all crumbling down, even the room was starting to follow the rules of gravity as well, as some of the weapons and paintings that once hung on the hallways all fell down and it was all nothing but chaos.
The sound was big...and sorry to say this...but a little epic too...sorry...just saying it kind sounded like that, but aside from that little side note from me...personally...clouds of dust was everywhere, so if the monster was still alive, and most likely it was, he would have ample time to get ready to fight it as there was no turning back now.
However, he was still low on energy and needed at least one more soul. but then...hope sort of arrives, as he saw a little filly walking out, crying and weak, as it was the little girl that the first guard had mentioned to TK about that ran away and screamed from the monster when it appeared to them all when the door was unlocked.
The filly had a bright purple mane and she looked so innocent and sweet, and from what I can tell from her past, she was. She also had a little blue coat as well and she was crying her eyes out from all of the pain and destruction around her. She was also limping a little bit as well. Of course due to the clouds of dust, she couldn't quite see TK very well, especially since she was crying her eyes out, but TK could see her though.
She was saying as loud as she could, "Dad! Where are you!? Daaaaad! I'm scared! Please dad where are you!?"
TK then slowly and quietly walked up to her, not behind her, he came up to her in front of her. And once he was in good view, the girl saw her, but instead of fearing him, since he didn't look like the monster, she thought there was a little hope. Maybe even her father and her father was somehow this superhero and that he took care of the big bad monster.
The big bad monster that she would have in her nightmares every night and fear that would come out of her closet. Well...she was half right...if you get what I'm saying that is.
She looked up to TK and she asked him, "Are you...my dad?"
TK then said, "No," as bluntly as he could, but straightforward though.
The girl then asked him, "Are you going to take me to my dad?"
TK then once again said, "No."
The girl was then a bit silent, but then asked him, "Do you know where my dad is then?"
"No." said TK.
The Girl then asked, "Then who are you then?"
TK then said, "Close your eyes...and think of a happy place that is peaceful."
The girl then said, "Why?"
TK then responded with, "Just close your eyes...and think of a peaceful place."
Then the girl asked, "If I do so, will you help me find my dad?"
She then had a little sniffle after she said that.
TK then said, "Yes."
The girl then closed her eyes and tried to think of a happy place. A place that is without pain or fear. A place that is peaceful.
Then...TK killed her and devoured her soul. Yup, he did it, he kill a child, not like he did before. He just quickly ripped open her jaw, jammed his hoof down her little throat and ate that soul. I mean with souls, they hold no value as a soul is a soul, so it would give TK the same energy no matter what.
As for what TK did, he didn't say to close her eyes, oh no no no. If I know TK, it was to make sure she wouldn't squirm and scream out, especially that would draw the attention of the monster towards him so he had to do so. And besides, he needed a soul and so he did what he had to do.
He doesn't care if it's a child...well rarely he cares if it's a child. If I recall correctly, once or twice he cared if it was a child, but other than that he'll kill and eat babies if he has to.
He's that brutal, but that's reality with him, you do what you have to do. And besides, look on the bright side...it was quick...but painfully quick though. Well, TK killed her and devoured her soul, and once he let the body fall to the floor, TK then felt a surge of energy flow through his body. He felt flames of power ready to burst out. He was strong enough to take on the monster alone. He was ready for the fight.
And just in time, as he heard the monster roar into the air and felt the ground tremble a bit as he felt the vibration of the monster coming towards him, as if it could pick up his scent. And through the clouds of dust, he saw the monster, and it was time for a final one on one fight, face to face.
TK looked at it, charging up his devil powers and said before he did anything to start the fight, "Fuck you." Then both TK and the monster ran towards each other and as the monster tried to pin down TK once again by slamming one of its arms into the ground where TK was standing, TK jumped in mid-air and had his right hooves glowing red with fire and soon hit the face of the monster between his eyes.
When his hoof made contact, it made sort of a sonic boom a little bit and shattered all the glass that was left standing on the current floor and the floor above them. Soon TK grabbed onto its head and soon slid down the neck of the beast as it tried to shake him off, but TK had a firm balance as he stood on the monster and soon grabbed out his sword that he used as the devil. It was a katana sword he used to use when he was alive, but now it was transformed into a devil sword and it was burning with an orange flow with the fire on the end of it, as he used the devil powers that he had to make it all happen and stab it into the neck of the monster.
Once he did that, the monster yelled in pain and roared into the night sky. Soon, TK took the sword away and put it back on his back and headed for his tail and soon grabbed out his devil shot gun that fired fire and bullets at the same time with powerful a damage as he stood on his two back legs and aimed it at the monster's tail. Of course, the Devil Shotgun could only be used when he had the energy to summon it. And yes...I had to explain one more time for the Cow Tippers...fuck you Cow Tippers.
And with one shot, the tail came off, and the monster was slowly bleeding out, and of course the monster had a bit enough of it all and soon was able to shake TK off, in which case he fell on to the floor. Which in turn, the monster then grabbed TK and threw him against the back wall, and of course he landed on his back and fell down on to the hard ground.
But TK soon got back up as he was the devil after all and soon said as he looked at the beast that was just about pissed off as he was, "Fine then...make my night then you son of a bitch."
Soon TK ran towards the monster once more and charged up his right hoof again, but soon used one of his devil powers and when he was at the right level with the monster's right eye, he somehow, by using his powers of course, pushed forward in mid-air and punched through the monster's eyes and out through the skull, which of course damaged its brain and made it only able to see out of one eye.
And when he came out the other side of the skull, TK landed on its back once more, but he turned around to see the monster was still alive, so TK knew what he needed to do and he then let the monster roar once again with great pain and anger, hungry for killing. Soon, TK used his energy once more and jumped high into the air, or just up to the top of the thirteenth floor that is and soon had his left hoof this time firing up for one last hit to take down this beast.
He looked towards the monster as he dangled in mid-air for a split second, and as he was coming down with full force, aimed for the beat's head, and as the monster looked up at him, mouth opened and ready to attack once more with the one eye it had left, but it was no use.
Soon there was a bit of blinding light for a fraction of a second, and after that light was gone, TK saw that the monster had no longer had a head. It disappeared with the punch that he had charged up with his left hoof...that and it was his left hoof so take that for what you will. But of course, he we on top of the monster's neck in where the head was at one point.
But soon he feel a bit of a bump on the ground, a more or less downward bump or something like that. And then...the floor collapsed once more beneath him, or beneath the monster that is and fell to the floor that he started on, which was the eleventh floor.
When the monster fell, he was of course no longer on it and fell on his stomach once more, but was ok as well. The beast landed on the floor, lying dead and such and TK got up to look at what he had did. Total; and utter chaos had happened at the castle that night, but it was kind of awesome. However, before TK could move on to the next floor, the fourteenth floor since he still needed to find that elevator, he saw a lone guard in the clouds of dust that was made by the destruction of the floor from above.
He was also limping and was sad too and had an extreme look of worry on his face.
He was yelling out, "Sweetie! Where are you! Don't worry, your Dad is here! Where are you!?"
TK didn't seem to know where he came from, hell, who knows where he was hiding at, but all TK seemed to know was that he was the father that the little girl that he had killed that she was looking for and crying out for.
TK silently walked up to the guard, behind him as he wasn't looking and did the same thing as he did to his daughter and killed him by ripping his jaws apart and devouring his soul.
TK then said after he let the body fall to the ground, "Needed the extra energy anyways."
Soon, TK looked up and around the destruction to see what has been done. TK didn't say another word and then teleported up to what was left of the thirteenth floor.
Well, there was nothing left but a small ledge and a stable enough window sill, so he was on the window sill and looking up outside to see how long it would take to get to the next floor. He did and it was a ways to go, but he started to climb to the top of course, and of course....left hoof, right hoof, left hoof, right hoof, left hoof, right hoof.
I mean it's like a fucking song written by Randy fucking Newman...and trust me you don't want Randy...if you recall from before. He'll just end up making a song on how your foot got eaten by a giant rhino in the sky!
Anyways, as TK was climbing, he saw outside many guards noticed the damage and was looking up at the higher floors of the castle and the holes that were made in the walls, but they didn't notice TK as he was wearing all black with a bit of red representing him being the devil and all and kind of blended into the night sky as well...kind of but not really.
Well he eventually made it to the fourteenth floor and climbed onto the floor and there was no guards. In fact he was in a room and to what he saw...he finally found the elevator that led to the archives. It was as if it was seeing love for the first time...well to me and not him...but whatever.
Well, soon he got static from the communication line and he then heard me saying what I had to say of course. He then picked up on the other end as well.
I then said on the other end, "TK, are you still there with me and the land of the living?"
Then finally I got a response back. TK said to me from the other end of the line, "I'm not among the land of the living Knight. I'm the devil, remember?"
I then said back, "Yeah, but technically you're still alive. Are you ok...you didn't pick up when I tried to call you from way down here."
TK then said to me, "I'm fine and you should know that. Remember, I'm dead and I'm the devil, it'll take a lot more fire power to kill me. And you know that."
I then told him, "Well who knows TK...we don't know everything that goes on with creation and if they die or not and blah blah blah...you get my point. That or some sort of writing god could kill you off, but who the fuck knows...right?"
TK then said, "I get what you're saying, but even then maybe even that so called "Writing god" could also have his god who writes his story and could kill him off."
I then was not sure what he was saying and I told TK, "Uhhh....I'm confused...what's your point..."
TK then said to me, "What I'm saying is, you're right that we don't know everything. That there are many possibilities when it comes to the universes. That the example of what could be our reality of a god that controls everything with just writing or drawing or something similar could very well have a god that does the same thing for our god. Not saying that is what it is, but it's only a possibility how deep reality can go."
I then told him, "You know your speeches are sometimes starting to get annoying. I get your point, it's like wondering if we're in the matrix or not, or we're just holograms or we are absolutely nothing or this universe is just a figment of my imagination and really I'm still back on Earth in a weird coma that I don't remember. Or maybe this is all a dream or maybe I'm dead and this is just my vision of heaven. I get your point about questioning reality, I'm just saying is all it's starting to wear me and others down on your speeches and philosophy and shit like that you know?"
TK then said to me, "Knight...does it sound like I give a fuck?"
I then said to him, "I know...just saying is all. And I'm sure Lawman would say the exact same thing too if he was still around."
TK then said, "He did...he said it when I met him not long ago."
I was then a bit shocked and asked, "Wait....you saw Lawman?"
TK then said to me in response, "Long story, so....are you ok?"
I then told him, "Well, everything seems to be ok on my end. Apparently we could have just walked through the front door this entire time because I just met Celestia. She didn't seem shocked at all that I was in the castle without her knowledge. So if I had to guess we could have easily went through the front door and we didn't have to go through any of this trouble tonight and she would have been fine with it."
TK then said to me, "You're know she wouldn't have been fine with me walking in right?"
I then said to him, "Oh yeah...right....she kind of hates your guts, but still tolerates your existence and me being friends with you...well sort of friends that is...and alright seeing you anywhere else but inside her domain, in other words her precious castle. But hey, that's fine. Anyways, I just found what floor we have to go to get to those files."
TK then told me, "I know...the fourteenth floor."
I then told him, "What? Are you serious, that just makes it worse for me because you figured it out without my help....unless of course you can read my mind right now...can you?"
TK then said to me, but with a tone, "No you idiot. I found out not long ago. I'll meet you on the fourteenth floor."
I then told him, "Yeah...that might be a bit difficult, I'm on the first floor and it might take me a long time to get to the fourteenth floor. Not only to mention I do believe guards are running all over the place."
TK then told me, "Don't worry...I got you covered."
Knight (Back to me that is...this time for good...I think...):
Well, here's my point of view of things again. I know...we've been switching back and forth and back and forth, but it's ok cow tippers...it's ok...just shut the fuck up and you'll get kicked out like what nice Hitler did to the Jews...he kicked them out...instead of gassing them...because that's what nice Hitler did. Just like the good 9/11.
Anyways, aside from what happened in the good 9/11, TK had teleported me to the fourteenth. Of course there was a bit of a side effect to it when you ever got teleported by him, especially that quick and not paying attention. It made me a bit dizzy, and when I got on to the fourteenth floor, I was kneeling down a bit and swayed a bit back and forth as I had to get my balance back since it was a bit disorienting when it happened so unexpectedly.
Well, I then looked at TK and then around the room. It was dark, decently sized and big, but not as big as what TK had to go through.
There was one wooden table in the room, with a few pieces of papers on it and a picture less picture frame hanging above it, but other than that and a window leading to the outside world and a door the led to the rest of the floor which may or may not have had guards on it, that was about all the room had to offer, except for the main piece of the room that drew your eye.
The elevator. The elevator had those classic metal grates in front of the main elevator doors and it even had glass behind those grates as well. Not only to mention the bottom of the elevator also had those florescent light bulbs, strip lights kind of at the bottom and every so often a few feet apart as it was going to the top. Why it was like that?
Maybe to see when it was at night time as there was no other light source in the room with the elevator other than the moon light that was able to make it in the room.
Well, I said to TK, "Well...what are you waiting for then...press the button."
TK then went ahead and pressed the button to call the elevator down, as it was for whatever reason still up to just about the highest point of the castle. And it was a bit of a ways up, so it was going to take a while.
So while we waited for the lovely elevator to come down and open up, I decided to start a conversation with TK and not make it weird, even though it was already weird.
I said to TK, "Well then....this was surely one HELL of a night, am I right TK?"
TK then looked at me and he then told me, Yes, I am sure it was a KNIGHT to remember."
I then had a little smile form across my face and said to TK, "Oh...so you do have a sense of humor then TK. I always thought you were that emotionless asshole that was likeable in a way."
TK then said, "I wasn't bring funny...and you should know that I never joke around."
I then said, "Well...it just sounded like you made a pun there to come back my pun and....well whatever...jokes aside...this seemed to be really too much just for what we were after this entire night."
TK then said, "And tell me Knight...what were we after again that I had to go through all of that trouble for?"
I then told him, "Well...we had to do what we've been through this entire good night...for a file on Arctic Aurora, just for a fucking file. And look what we have done to this place. So much for keeping quiet right?"
TK then told me, "Well it wasn't exactly easy was it now? We both had to go through some sort of shit. Whatever you went through the basement and what I had to go through. Granted it was all unexpected turn of events, so none of us could have predicted what we would have encountered on this trip. It was only supposed to be a get in and get out job, but of course, just like always, some shit always happens. But at least we were prepared to fight. If it wasn't for that...if it wasn't for me being the devil, we would have all been screwed in the end."
I then said to TK, "Yeah....well, look on the bright side of things...at least it was a little fun...right...a little fun tonight we had?"
TK just stared at me in pure silence and I then responded to his silence with, "Alright...it was shit...but it's all worth taking a good look at that file though. Mostly because if I'm going to take a job from a total stranger, I need to know at least who I'm working for, and the job he asked me of, and you of course seems to be a lot bigger than what we went through tonight. So I suppose we could consider this a little warm up session."
I then walked to the one window that the room had and looked outside and saw all the guards running around while Celestia and Luna were looking in shock as to what had happened to their precious castle, trying to wrap it around their minds and trying to figure what had happened and piece the puzzle together.
Granted she could always pin this on me since I was there, but since she had trusted me as her faithful student, it was alright. But then again she could always trace it back to me, but we did do something of course and it'll all be fine.
Anyways, I then said as I looked out the window at the destruction that we have caused...well mostly TK did all the destruction...I said, "Yup...just a little warm up."
I then walked back to TK and looked at him and then continued to say, "Well, since we've gotten that out of the way, I suppose we don't have to cause too much trouble when we get to the file room upstairs...right?"
TK then stared at me and he then said, "Hopefully not, but if we have to, we will fight back. And I'll gladly tear more of this castle apart if I have to."
I then said to him, "You really don't like Celestia don't you?"
He then said to me, "No...no I don't. She tried to kill me and she just ended up pissing me off, so I ended up just threatening one of her precious subjects and killed two more younger kids and tortured their parents in order to get her to leave me alone."
I then said to him, "You know...Celestia wasn't going to kill you. Sure she would give you a very terrible punishment like an eternity on the moon or something...but still she wasn't going to kill you. In fact I don't think she would go that far...maybe..."
TK then said to me, "Well, she looks like she can kill, which in that case, I'll gladly rip her head off and kill her sister too. And if anyone stands in my way, I'll kill them too."
I then told him, "Yeah...that's...good and all...but I've got a question for you TK...do you think that this place had another way to get to the files. I mean the elevator is all the way up there and this is the only elevator that takes us up to there...and surely Celestia doesn't use this elevator...maybe the Royal guard...so maybe she has some sort of secret passage or something you think?"
TK then told me, "Perhaps, kings and queens always have their secrets. But like I said back on the train, there possibly is one."
I then said to him, "Well she's a princess...but kind of the same thing though. You know speaking of queens, back on Earth she was supposed to be a queen, but instead they just said no because apparently queens were seen as evil to little girls. I wonder why is that...you know?"
TK then told me, "Well, perhaps it would have something to do with the bed time stories that they have always heard about and have old fairy tales like Snow White."
Although in all truth, he has a point, but to this day I still can't wrap my mind around that idea. I mean why? But then again the only good queen is an old bitch that just smiles and waves all the time and goes around and demanding that nuts are placed around the castle grounds because why the fuck not?...or maybe she's secretly a British squirrel agent that is a time lord and a wizard.
Oh well you know.
Anyways, I then said to TK, "Well...that might be it. Anyways, how long does it take for this elevator to get down here and...oh there it is."
Right before my eyes I saw the elevator slowly coming down, but it wasn't that slow, but it was taking its time though. It was decently sized and it was ok looking and it eventually made its way down and stopped when it hit the floor.
And once it did, the doors opened and the light was like the light outside of the elevator, but a normal bright light though.
Afterwards, TK and I looked at each other and I then told him, "After you my good friend."
TK then went ahead and opened that door type of thing where you just push it to the side.
He then went in first and I then said told him, "You know...you never gave me the full details as to what happened to you on your side, care to tell me?"
Once I got in, TK immediately pushed the button to go up to the file room. The doors closed, although we didn't take the time to close the grate door thingy, but it's like it didn't matter though.
The elevator doors closed and we started to feel the force of going up as the elevator carried us straight to the top.
And once the elevator started to move, we had this little old tune that sounded like it was from Earth from years ago, but then again who knows...maybe some portal opened up and this song somehow got past some pony's mind and it came to them and now we have this song here.
TK then told me, "Well, it started off normal as I climbed to my first stop, the eleventh floor. It was normal, guard patrol was normal as well. Everything about it seemed ordinary and had no signs of an elevator anywhere. I then went ahead to go the next floor above and that ended up being normal for about a quarter of the way through. I made a guard give up in fear and I ended up knocking down some guards that were having a little poker party. I blew the door open right next to them, taking them out all at once, with one still half awake.
'I knocked him down to the floor where he belonged. I then moved to a door that I felt a high energy presence, opened it, and I ended up in a strange simulation universe. I'm not going to go into the details, but it was nothing of interest if you're curious about it though. I then eventually, however, found a place that existed between universe and reality. Between life and death. Between the outside of the universe and heaven. There I met Lawman. He seemed to be real, but I'm not sure if he was entirely real. I might have just been my imagination, but we talked peacefully.
'And we also saw this green place teeming with life in front of our eyes. It was like a portal to a peaceful place. It even looked like The Gardens of Eden too a little bit. Perhaps it was, perhaps it was not. I'm not sure and I don't care as it's not anything to worry about. We then parted ways and I came back. I then found a creature who is named Beast that caused me to go into those simulated universes and created them as well that he apparently has been around for centuries.
'He even told me straight out that he wanted to kill me and feed on me as he had just escaped from his stone prison in the gardens, but I just let him go. Where he is at now, I'm not so sure, but if I had to guess, a place where there isn't much ponies around. Most likely in the mountains. Aside from that, I then went to the next floor and all that led me to was a floor that was supposed to be nothing but a myth and instead it was all real. It even had an ancient monster from when the castle was built and was brought on to that floor by some elite group known as The Six that ended up going dead years ago.
'And then some idiots decided to act stupid and messed with something that they weren't supposed to mess with and unleashed that monster. I was also low on energy and killed two guards and a kid for energy...later a guard afterwards. I fought the beast and as you saw and heard, that destruction was caused by that thing. But it is now dead, or at least I'm assuming it doesn't re-grow its head. Other than that, that has been my night. Granted I never sleep, so what does it matter to me that I spent my time doing all of that."
I then was a bit silent for a bit and then said to TK as I nodded my head slowly, "Uh huh...yup...really!? Well shit your night sounded awesome! All my night was finding a guard that ate his own cum, a caterpillar that wasn't black and made horrible rap music and named himself Jizzy G, and a military like unit that wasn't from this universe that was apparently from another Earth I think and escaped through a portal and were only here to gather information by some client of theirs and ..."
TK then cut me off and asked me, "What did you just say?"
I then told him, "Well...I just said that some humans ended up coming here that wasn't from my Earth and stuff...and I know what you're going to ask next and no I have no clue where they exactly came from or who sent them, but I'm sure just like everything else and how well it's all going, we'll soon find out for ourselves...am I right? Yeah...I'm right....but still....your night sounded awesome while I stuck with the bullshit that I got."
TK then told me, "You would have died if you were in my position...you know that right? You're not well quipped or skilled. Sure I did train you, but I didn't train you that well enough for you to face what I had to face. And besides, you would have fucked it up no matter what you did and no matter how good you are. Now end of story, I believe we're about to be at our destination."
TK was slowly looking up when he had said that, in which case we were almost there and we ended up at the very tippy top of the castle...well not the exact tippy top but you get the idea...it was just about the tallest point of the entire castle but not really.
We stopped at the top and we could tell we were at where we wanted to be as the sides of us were just glass and we saw that it was the file room and it was dark as well with no one in it at all.
It was almost kind of like where a scary ghost story would take place or hell....where a ghost would come from or be at or maybe even live at. The doors then opened and we walked out and as we did, we looked all around and it was huge.
Again, not as big as the thirteenth floor, but still pretty big and to top it all off...there were three stories of files cabinets to look through. Surely it was organized somehow, but we would need to have a starting point of course to even guess where we would need to look at.
I then said, "Well then...it looks like this night is going to be even longer than I had anticipated."
TK then said as he was walking away from me and headed towards the file cabinets, "Well we better start looking then. You got your flashlight right?"
I then said to him as he was walking away, "Yeah...in my satchel of course...but why are you asking that? You're not my mom."
TK then said, "Well just making sure you have something to see in the dark...because I'm sure we would be wasting time to try and find to put the lights on in this room. And if you're asking about superiority, I am the one with the night vision here. And besides...I'm the devil...remember?"
I then said to him, "Well..you have a point...but still...I don't need to be checked up on like that you know."
And we then headed our separate ways to look for the file and let me tell you something cow tippers...I know this is going to make you all so mad and trying to cry over spilled milk and shit like that...but I'm not giving the whole details on this one.
Nope...you cow tippers can suck it...and when I mean by it, I don't mean that it or It the clown...I mean It...and I'll let you imagine what that means. Why? Because all we did was just look at fucking files upon files! It was boring and an eye sore.
It was tiring and so boring that I wanted to just turn myself into Celestia about breaking in even though I wasn't breaking in technically and that would have more interesting results. I mean all we did was just look at files, trying to find the right one and it didn't seem to be a clear category selection either.
Although I did find a sections of towns and all that goes on in those towns and who lives there and stuff like that.
I even found one on Stalia...and oddly enough I couldn't find anything on about my friends, although I did find one on me and it read "Faithful student of Princess Celestia."
It even had orphan written on it and even listed my friends too, the ones that I supposedly made in Stalia, the Mane 6, and of course Wolf and Celestia and Luna, as I do have my connections of course.
Other than that, TK wasn't listed on it even though I told Celestia that TK was a dear friend of mine, but she kind of does hate TK's guts though. Although it was still weird that I couldn't find anything on my friends...as if it was that they never existed at all. But who knows...right?
Anyways, speaking of TK, I did find a file that apparently was personally made by Princess Celestia herself, as she did the hand writing herself and I did tell it to TK.
I had said when I had TK's file, "Hey TK! I've found a folder with your name it!"
TK was looking at me and listening to what I had to say and I read from the file, as I saw him behind me...well looked to see him behind me as he was on the other side looking at the files and I had to yell it all the way over there...you get the point.
I said to TK, "And it looks like Celestia wrote it herself personally! It reads: TK is an unknown pony and a questionable race! However, I hope he is not a unicorn, as that would be a disgrace to the unicorns of this country as he is one of the rudest and most dangerous ponies I have ever met! I also hope he is not a Pegasus as he would be a waste of space for other good citizens that would need the space in the sky! I also hope he is not an Earth Pony, as everything that he would ever try to grow would die at his touch! I also hope under that black suit of his is not an Alicorn either, as I wouldn't want to be in the same room with him, as he is a prick and surely is not welcomed in this country! However, since he is supposedly a good friend of Knight, a personal student to Princess Celestia, I will allow him to stay in this country, but as long as he remain friends with Knight! Other than that, he is a fool!"
I then took a moment to think about what it said that was in his file and it was the only thing.
I then said to TK, "Man! She sure hates your guts! I mean she tried to make it like every other file here but she just couldn't hold it back and just threw all she could at you...she even kind of swore too....she just hates you! Oh well thought you should know!"
And TK went back to trying to find that file in silence...but I'm sure he was just as pissed as Celestia is at him, I could kind of tell in his body movements...but I do wonder what kind of pony that TK is....maybe he is an Alicorn since he is the Devil...but then again maybe not. Who knows right?
Well, other than that interesting file, all there was just other towns, events throughout Equestrian history and that was about it. So I spared you the boring part, and about an hour or three later, we finally found the file, TK had found it, as it was on the third story on the twenty first column on the seventh row up.
TK had said he had found it and I went to him immediately. We then looked at the file together and what we found was that Arctic Aurora was a scientist that was once working on a experiment that would have opened a portal to what is called The Other World and sadly his experiment went wrong, as he and his partner that was working on it as well both got sucked into The Other World as they destroyed the machine before it went out of control and unleashed god knows what. And of course Celestia recorded and kind of hidden the project so no one would know.
It also said that his wife also died and somehow they knew she went to heaven, or at least that's what I questioned at the time.
Not only to mention they had children and they were separated as well, and one of them, being Misty Midnight, living in Stalia homeless, but as we now know that he has been helping her out any way he can in his spirit form, as he is a ghost that has escaped The Other World.
And now, she's trapped in The Other World and now he wants us to help him out. Of course that information wasn't in the file, but you get the idea.
Well, once we were done reading it, I then yelled out, well more or less in a loud tone that is, "Well...this keeps getting fucking better and better doesn't it?"
TK then looked towards my way slowly and he then asked me, "What do you mean by that Knight?"
I then said to TK, "Well...it's the fact that this shit just keeps getting deeper and deeper...doesn't it? I mean of all the bullshit and other shit that I had to go through, it just keeps piling up like a shit sundae. I mean years ago, many many years ago, I was just this somewhat normal, but not really though, boy."
I then proceeded to walk around a little bit and made various hand gestures as I was talking.
Anyways, aside from that minor detail, I then continued to talk, "I went to school, got good grades, went home, sat around and did stuff like watch TV and what not, took a shower, ate my supper, went to bed, wake up in the morning to a never ending nightmare called reality, rinse and repeat. Then that one fateful summer day...that one day we decided to all as a family to go to the woods and rent a cabin.
'Then that night...I saw that ball of light...and that day was either one of the best days of my life or the worst days of my life. How do I explain this? You see...I barely remember my family, I barely remember their faces, let alone their names...they are nothing but a mere blur to me, and I don't care. They were...nothing to me. Sure they were good to me, but in the end...they tried too hard. And I wanted a way to get away from that. And I found that cave and I met you...my own creation...I couldn't believe my eyes and ears when I saw you...my very own creation in the flesh!
'It was like some sort of dream, a dream of some sort of weird paradise where there was some sort of magic. And that portal that I found in that cave that night...that was magic. Pure, genuine magic. I always wondered before then if there was some magic left in that world. I mean, all that was left was business and careers and a very flawed system being used in society...hell even human beings were scary as shit to me you know? The thought of them trying to act like someone that they were not....trying to suppress their human nature and to act civilize and deny their nature from within while trying to have morals and values that eventually broke down is an odd idea. I mean...humans are animals...they had animal instincts and feelings...but yet they denied all of that. Not only to mention, they turned wilderness into big cities with jobs and stocks and bonds and all of that bullshit that they call a civilized world.
'Sure some of it was fine...but when you add the laws and career futures and retirement...what do you have in that world TK? Isn't there any exploring the unknown? Isn't there some sort of magic left in that world where you could stumble upon something and either you could tell others and they would believe you or not be afraid of it? where did the magic go TK? In that world that I used to know...where did the magic go? But finding that portal...I found the magic...so..odd, but yet...amazing. And after we formed ourselves a little group with Factory Dash, well let me tell you...I was happy, we were exploring!
'We were going to different universes and finding all sort of things and meeting others...it was great...I was free...you were free TK. Factory Dash, despite me hating her guts...she was free. We were not trapped in that tiny box on our planets that we lived on, we weren't held down by our universe's god and prohibited from leaving such a place. We were not restricted from the vass and ever expanding universes...we were free like birds. We were free, truly free for our souls to ever explore the unknown and other places. We were not restricted to one place...we were free...free as the wind...free as the sky...the most free that we ever could be.
'We had as much freedom than anyone could ask...we were free. We could do whatever we want, go wherever we want, we were not bounded by rules or laws...we were truly free. sure, there was no safety, for if you want freedom, you must sacrifice safety, but for safety, you must sacrifice freedom...and that didn't matter to me...we were free. So many adventures, so much time...those were the good ol' days TK. We had some real fun times back then...and now I feel like I have gotten old...you have moved on...and Factory Dash...well she is a bitch...and kind of was back then but not much though. In other words...it was good back then...like the good ol' days...but now...what have we gotten ourselves into? What have I gotten ourselves into?
'I mean...all I remember was I was lonely...very lonely, on the brink of insanity and felt like I wanted to kill both you and Factory Dash...but then I got the idea to...come here and retire here in this universe. Sure I would still want to go through the universes...have some fun...I wouldn't have given up that freedom, I just wanted a little spot to call my own...you know? Maybe meet and make a few friends...you know, some what the simple life, but somewhat complicated. That was years ago TK...years ago that I wanted to find peace within this universe...of ponies...ponies from a show that I knew from Earth that looked like for little girls, but not really though.
'And look at us now, we're breaking and entering into a castle that is partially destroyed while trying to look for a file for some ghost pony that had his daughter that is homeless kidnapped by some sort of creature and taken into another dimension of some kind. Not only to mention, I have Neon to deal with, I am a personal student of Celestia and am supposed to send a letter to her whenever I learn something about friendship, I had visions of Fausticorn and a child crying that may or may not have been the long lost brother of Celestia and Luna. So of course I have to find him somewhere...maybe...not only to mention I'm apparently part of The Elements of Protection, I went to college for a while as Celestia's personal student...and to top it all off...TF is on the loose...trying to kill me.
'And the best thing that we have on him is a few satellites in other universes...this was supposed to be simple...and now...we have a dimension that was once part of an experiment gone wrong that Celestia covered up...I think...and chances are we will get into more shit later down the road too. I mean...how complicated can this get TK?
'I was here for one thing...and one thing only...for peace...to somewhat retire, but at the same time explore...to sit back and enjoy what every Brony's dream was and that was to live in the world of My Little Pony. And here I am...as bright as day...and we are all fucked. Fucked fucked fucked...that's what we are...fucked...sure we can get through this...but how much are you willing to bet it will only get worse from here? Perhaps that's why I sometimes go on and on and never stop talking and sometimes act a bit immature and try to joke every now and then just to stay sane...but then again...what is sanity?
'Is it that you act normal and you have no tendency at all to kill someone or is it to live a normal life with nothing odd going on at all? What is sanity TK? And you know what....it's whatever it you want it to be isn't it? In fact...why bother having sanity? There is no sanity...there is only insanity...not in this world...everywhere...and you know...it's a beautiful thing isn't it? Well...despite what I just said...we need to keep moving...we had a long night...didn't we TK? I'm somewhat tired and I'm sure you have other shit to do...so let's get going...shall we?"
TK didn't say a single word in response to what I said after my little speech...but I'm sure he didn't care...or maybe he did and thought it was best to not say anything...or maybe he found some truth in it...I don't know. So I then put the file away and started to walk with TK to the windows.
After I put the file away, I then asked him, "So....how are we going to get out now. The only way out is that elevator and we don't exactly have an idea where that secret passage that Celestia, who may or may not have one that is, on a way to get out of here."
TK then looked at me and said, "I've got it covered."
And so TK looked towards the opposite end of the room, the opposite direction of where the elevator was. The way he was looking, there was a big circle stain glass window that was in the room that I didn't mention when I described the interior. It had nothing special on it of course, just a bunch of pretty looking colors unless of course maybe it's one of those magic pictures where if you stare at it long enough you'll see something.
Who knows right? Well, he looked towards the window and he pulled out a normal gun and went ahead and stood on his two back legs and took off the suppressor, and then replaced the gun from darts with regular bullets. Yeah, he had that, trust me, TK is always prepared...well mostly that is...and he aimed it at the window glass.
He then shot three bullets and of course it made a loud sound in the air, but shattered the glass and some of the broken glass landed inside the room while some of it landed outside. It just depended on the physics is all. Anyways, after he shot three loud bullets...or at least that made three loud sounds that is, but since we were far away, Celestia or the guards couldn't really here it at all, so were safe.
Although I had a bit of a worried look on my face as I wondered how Celestia and Luan would react to the broken glass, especially since they would know someone was in the secret file room.
Next, TK put the gun away and was back on all fours once more. And soon, he teleported to the window sill, or ledge that is. And as from what I could see from his sort of point of view, more or less third, there was a beautiful orange sunset slowly about to rise in the sky, so it was still night time and you could see some stars, but the crack of dawn was near.
He then looked towards me and he said, "I'll come get you when it's time to come up and clean up the mess that we've made."
I then looked a bit confused and I asked him, "What do you mean by that exactly TK?"
He then said to me, "There is going to be investigations soon, and we're no idiots. And it's only a matter of days until they find evidence all over the place in this room along with where ever else as well. And of course they're going to also be on my ass for sure since Celestia is already suspicious me and hates me. So be ready to come back to clean up our little mess...along with breaking into any other pony's home that may also know of this. I'll keep an eye on it...and you keep an eye on it too. I'll see you soon."
And then TK jumped off and headed off into the slow rising morning of the sun. Well, I then slowly shook my head because we've done goofed or messed up. Well, I then went ahead and climbed to the window that was broken, it wasn't that high of a climb anyways.
It was just something that I had to jump at is all, but with no problem. I climbed onto the broken window area and looked out. It was somewhat nice and peaceful, but as TK had told me...it's not going to be peaceful...well most days that is.
And so, I slowly headed off the roof so I could get on to the ground. Of course I was high and far from the ground below, but there was some roof tops that I could easily jump to and from to get to the ground safely. I did so and it took me no more but twenty minutes or less, nothing interesting to talk about other than the guards that were running around, but of course they didn't see me and they were too busy to see me.
Well I eventually got on the ground and made it safely, and like I said, the guards were too busy running around, trying to follow orders to even care that I was on the castle grounds. I was near the entrance to the gardens that I had entered early.
I walked back to the entrance that basically made my way from where me and TK had started. And when I got to the starting point from our little adventure, I took one last look at the castle and oh boy did we fuck up at trying to be silent with our breaking and entering plan. But I then turned around and headed for the train station and as I was walking, dawn almost had arrived, Luna's moon was out of view and Celestia's sun was about to rise from below.
It didn't take me long to get back to the train station. I went to the ticket booth and asked for one ticket to Stalia and nothing interesting instead of the last guy at the ticket booth was at Stalia...but then again it was Stalia so what would you expect right?
Well, no one was around, no pony was waiting for a train to arrive but me. Well, except for this one guy...one guy that looked a little familiar to me.
He was old and was in a wheel chair and was facing in the direction of where the sun was going to rise. I walked up to him, but only to stop behind him and realize he was the old guy that I had met when I first came to this universe after The Fall happened.
It's a long story and some light will be shed on it of course, but you get the idea. So I took a seat behind him, as the benches were back to back.
So I took a seat behind him and I then started off the conversation with, "Slow day isn't for trains isn't it?"
The old stallion then raised his right hoof and took out a little black box and put it to his throat, as he developed some kind of cancer for the throat and he had to get some stuff done to it and now he can only communicate through that thing and sound like a robot...which is basically the only upside to it when you think about it.
He then spoke to me, "Ponies don't usually wait for a train at the crack of dawn...Knight."
I then said to him, "So you do remember me...how nice."
The old guy then said to me, "How could I forget the one that prevented me from dying from that cancer that was about to kill me. Sure I still lost my voice, but at least I still have my life...right."
I then told him, "Well...it was just a little something that I had...I mean it still doesn't do much, but it kind of prevents you from dying."
Then the old pony said to me, "I'm dying."
I then asked, "Let me guess....old age? I mean it looks like it is your time and all...I mean age affects all of us in a way that hurts us."
The old cancer pony then said, "Very true. A little friend of yours a few months back stopped by here in Cantorlot and he was in big trouble and almost got in trouble with the Princess you know...the one that goes by the name of TK."
I then told him, "Yeah...he did tell me that. I'm sure he wasn't rude to you or anything...right?"
He then told me, "Not at all...although he seemed a little intimidating, but I helped him out...gave him a map through the Everfree Forest that I had. Granted it was dangerous as the lost and forgotten town hidden within the Everfree Forest has been long forgotten and cursed...but ht made it to you and that's that matters. Thought I could repay the favor somehow."
I said to him in response, "Well thank you very much good gentlecolt. So...if you're dying...may I ask why are you sitting out here?"
He then told me, "I'm out here because I'm about to die...I can just feel it inside of me. By the time that sun fully rises...I'll be dead...but I thought what a better way to die than to look at the sunrise as that will be the last thing that I see."
I then said to him after a sigh and a few seconds of silence, "Well...hoped you had a good life then."
He then told me, "No...no I didn't..."
soon I saw my train to Stalia was pulling into the station and was slowing down and such.
I had then said to him before I got up and went to wait for the train to come to a complete stop so I may board, "Well...shit....that's life for you."
I then got up and without looking him in the eyes, I had said for my final words to him, "I hope heaven is as good as they say here and hope that you're lucky enough to enjoy it. Heck it's heaven....surely it must be a better life than this one. Well...goodbye...goodnight...this is the end for you."
I then headed for the train and as I headed for it, the train had stopped and the doors opened. I went ahead and boarded and no one else was inside the train cars. I looked on both side and still not a single one had a living pony on it. It was just me and me alone.
I went ahead and found myself a nice and comfy seat and waited for the train to take off. But right before the train took off, I swore I could of heard the last breath of that stallion.
But it might had been just my imagination. Well, the train doors closed and I was well on my way on back to Stalia. The train started to move and I just continued to wait until I was back in town. It was boring and quiet and very lonely I must say.
No one to talk too...seemed...depressing to me...so to keep myself occupied I looked out the window and saw all the trees the train was passing by. I recall a time when I was a child back on Earth and every time I was in the car I would look outside the window and see all the grass we were passing up quickly.
I had wondered...how many blades of grass we were passing up...how many I had wondered...but then again I was bored so I had to come up with something.. Well, I looked outside and that thought kind of came up. Well, I won't bore you with me asking how many blades of grass and how many trees we passed up...but I will say this.
The train was passing up a bunch of hills and as the sun was in the sky and dawn had arrived...I swear to god on my deathbed that I saw TF standing on the hill watching me.
As if he was there and quickly passed him up and I thought I had saw him. And at the time, I had wondered if that was him...why was he there? And then...the train crashed.
The. The. The. Huh...Funny enough I'm drawing a blank on my memory here. What did happen after that train crash?
I mean...I know what I was saying before...the train crashed and everything. But like...what happened? Then again it was years ago so I suppose you can't blame me for forgetting it, not only to mention what could have happened to my head when it happened...but then again it was years ago.
So, I suppose the best I can say I blacked out...and that we all should start on the journey that I had with Neon and that Griffin Guy...nah I'm just fucking with you, I have that portal thing to tell me how it all happened.
But, no seriously though I forgot what happened, most likely that I blacked out when the train crash happened. A little sad, but yet not really caring though. Maybe you could blame that on me, but blame whoever caused the train to crash. Maybe it was TF, well....it was TF, but what he was doing on the hillside, I had no idea at the time, it was just all too confusing to me.
I mean I just had a long night of breaking into a castle. I just wanted to rest and everything. I didn't care at all, I just was too tired to care. I couldn't even care if Hitler came back from the grave and went back in time to win World War Two, I could care less because I was so tired. I was so tired I couldn't care if the world was against me.
Sure, maybe the world was against me, maybe even the universe, but I couldn't care. The world could kill me and I wouldn't even care. I just WANTED to go home. But who cares, I was in it for the long run. Well, I suppose we should begin somewhere, I mean this part of my life...this "episode" of my life is not even close to an end yet, as surprisingly a lot happened.
Well, I suppose I should go into the details of the train crash. I did say I had the portal. Well, as I looked through the portal to see what happened, as I said the train crashed. But what happened before. Well...let's take it a bit back a little, because sometimes you need to take a step backwards before you can move forward.
THREE OR FIVE HOURS EARLIER:
Well while TK and I were...trying to find the file....while...you know...destroying the castle in the process, but unintentionally though, far away, deep into an area that is not occupied by anyone at all, just more or less an unoccupied area...where there isn't a town or whatever...kind of like a country road or something, there lied the train tracks.
It's far away from Cantorlot so no one would notice even if a rapist was there raping someone while tasting a nice good bottle of wine and shoving it in his eye socket to jack off or something like that. There was also a set of hills as well, nice...round, not too steep, but not too tall hills.
They were filled with green, healthy grass that may or may not take over the world one day; some trees here and there surrounding the train tracks. It was all nothing but a nice thing really. Well, there stood TF, on the hillside, underneath the bright stars of the night sky.
He looked...very sinister like, but not with like an evil smile or anything like that. He was just simply evil looking. He especially changed from the last time I saw him, which was basically The Fall, and he had simple black hair in a simple style had circles under his eyes as if hadn't slept in days, bit of a facial hair growing on his face, and a set of brown colored eyes that says he isn't in the mood to talk.
He was also wearing a satchel similar to mine, but it was black, while mines was brown, As for his pony form, he was a dark-ish brown, wearing nothing at all, And for a cutie mark, he had a big bright red 'X', possibly symbolizing that he was forgotten, not wanted, pushed aside.
Or maybe it was meant for something else, who the fuck knows right? Like maybe it was meant for a dead puppy dog raping a goldfish on the fourth of July while Helen Keller rises from the grave to fuck a tree. And then she starts the Helen Keller Death Mute Club. Or you know, maybe it was something deep and dark...like a horse raping a monkey while he's getting head from a whale. Somewhere in there...lies a deep and dark message about society...I just know it. Like perhaps the horse represents the elites of society, while the monkey and fish represent the rest of society.
It must symbolize that we all eventually keep complaining about the elites, but yet we keep sucking their dicks or in better words kissing their sweet little asses. And if they are black elites...then they taste like chocolate. In which case you eat them. It only makes sense really when you think about it. Or the X could just mean a read fucking X.
Honestly I have no damn clue as to why it was an X. I mean I'm not the cutie mark expert here. I know jack shit about magical ass tattoos and shit. Anyways, TF looked like that...as a pony that is. As a human he always had that brown hair and what not, let's not get into it.
Wait a minute here...did I already described what TF looked like before? I don't know...I mean life and everything just got in the way and all of a sudden I've forgotten if I had described him or not. Well thanks to a lot of Cow Tippers, I guess I have forgotten.
I didn't used to have to worry about if I already described someone or something, but I guess I have to now you no good sons of bitches! But then...you Cow Tippers are an important part of society...in which case you're neither the whale...the monkey...or the horse...you're that little lemming...that may or may not be a retard...wait...are lemmings retarded? I don't know...it's not like I'm the one living on Earth and have to deal with Wikipedia.
You read that Bobby! Fuck you for changing Wikipedia articles...we all know that Bruce Wayne is really Clark Kent...and that Bruce Wayne is Batman...it just makes sense.
Anyways, aside from that lovely idea...or whatever I was talking about, TF was looking like that as I said before. And as for what he looks like as a human, I'll keep that hidden until time comes for it...then and only then when I will actually give two bags of flaming shits to give to each and every one of you.
In which case you can take that flaming bag of shit and throw it at Dick Cheney's house for no reason whatsoever...well assuming he's still alive in the far future or whatever. If he isn't just throw it at his grave, he'll get the message while he's in Hell...well I'm sure of it that is. Anyways, TF was standing there, on the far edge of the hill and could see the castle from the distance. He was looking through a pair of binoculars of course, as it was far away, at least from where he was standing.
If to say he would go down a little more, he wouldn't be able to see the castle any more. Well, he was looking through it and saw all the destruction that had happened at the time. All the guards running around and such and going into their defense positions for whatever was happening. The monster that TK was fighting that broke through the wall. All of that good shit while Celestia told me Happy Tuesday. Yeah...it's kind of like that...where I feel like it's stupid. I feel like she should just go and...fuck dirt or something.
But of course I'm sure that by law I'm going to have to say this legally...the dirt is 18 years old...it's perfectly legal, no one has to complain about it. It's just perfectly legal age of dirt that Celestia can go ahead and fuck. Ok...everyone is good? No police, angry parents, Cow Tippers, the KKK, ALF, Pee Wee Herman, giant mutant crabs, Santa Claus, the gingerbread gnomes, a rock, alien babies, moderators even because some asshole is going to put this online I'm guessing one day, and if so I'm going to find him and kill him maybe...so all of those people that I listed...we're all good?
No mob is going to come through the portal one day and I'm going to have to have a good ol'...half massacre? Ok I'm going to assume we're good. But I mean it...if I see one person come through that portal with a sign that says 'Dirt Lives Matter,' we all know who is to blame...the Asians...it only makes logical sense really. those damn dirty Asians and their fancy numbers.
Anyways, TF was seeing that through his binoculars and saw all of that destruction and mayhem. Now being in the future, I wonder what was running through TF's mind and such...and of course I've got the answers to that. I think anyways....that or the all mighty Wikipedia might know something...well maybe anyways.
Well, anyways, what was running through TF's mind was I think was bad. That or shitting lollipops and shit like that. The point here is that TF was liking the scenes of destruction everywhere and seemed to be pleased by it. But he knew he must not be distracted for it wasn't part of his plan.
He needed to stay focus and do what he needed to do before time was up. TF slowly put the binoculars slowly away with his hooves and then let it drop to the ground, but it was a soft drop as it landed on very healthy, green grass. It was a hill after all, all hills in a fairytale seem to be green and healthy anyways.
Well, he then said to himself quietly, "Well then...it seems you have caused quite a ruckus Knight. I would like to believe you're just as insane as I am, that you want to see it all be turned into ashes and rubble. Chaos and fire. But I know better, but still, you're just as insane as I am. So in the end I can proudly call you as my creator, and I proudly will kill you as my creator."
Then a pony with a black ski mask on was standing behind him from a distance. He was carrying somewhat of a weak looking gun, somewhat in the process of putting together a better one or upgrading it to a better one.
Now he wasn't too familiar with a gun, in fact he didn't know what he was carrying at all, all he knew was that TF told him to carry it just in case, you know...to be on alert. Now...you might ask, why didn't he knew what he was carrying, well if you would just read on Cow Tippers, you would know...and the more you know.
Anyways, he only wore just the black ski mask and he said as he looked dead straight at TF and said, "Uh...why are you talking to yourself sir?"
TF slowly turned his head, as if he was offended by what he just said to him. However, TF wasn't offended by question, but instead annoyed. TF just wanted to be alone with his thoughts and to mind his own business.
TF said, "What are you doing Sky? You should be back with the others, helping them We don't have much time you know."
The pony with the ski mask on that was named Sky then said, "Yes sir."
He had some fears deep within his eyes. As if he knows what TF is capable of and does not would to dare try and cross the line with him. And if to say he would, he would surely never see the next day.
He wouldn't even see the next minutes of his life as he would be dead as TF would have killed him by then. He needed to stay alive and not piss off TF, so he had to follow orders, as he lives in fear of his superior. Although, he had met TF before and he seemed like an easy guy to be around with. So he started to have mix feelings and wondered stuff about him.
Sometimes he wonders if this is some sort of test, a test to see if he will go mad or lose his shit to where he'll break down and go on a rant on his superior. To him it was all he could see it as he couldn't think of a pony as cruel as TF is, not even a milligram of forgiveness is within TF, and he all he can hope is that TF is some sort of test. Perhaps a test from god?
To test to see if he's special or something. In fact, the pony with the ski mask on always wanted to be special. He always thought that he was some sort of special thing about himself. That he was destined for something great that he did not know of.
That there was some secret that he didn't know about himself. Perhaps somehow secretly the son of god, or of a god? Perhaps the parents he grew up with weren't his real parents, but instead a fake. Perhaps all of his reality was nothing but a bad dream, a nightmare. Perhaps he'll wake up in his bed out of nowhere, like all his life was just a dream.
Perhaps something else was out there for him to be truly great, like to leave the world he was in and to go to another. To him, he always wanted to surprise other ponies and make something of himself. It only made sense to him that he would feel that he is destined for greatness.
In fact, he always waited for the day when it would be presented to him that there something unique about him. However he's still waiting, but still has hopes for when that day comes, and hopefully he could leave this life he has for a better one.
Either in general or in his perspective, either way he wanted to be special. But with TF, he thought he sort of had a chance by going with him. He thought all would be alright in the end.
But now things were starting to get confusing and he started to feel like he regretted ever going along with TF in the beginning. The pony with the ski mask that was apparently named Sky then turned around and headed back where he came from which was from the other side of the hill that TF was on.
TF was at the peak so that means the pony with the ski mask on had to go down the slope and on to the ground, just in case you Cow Tippers out there couldn't tell the difference. And if you could, good for you, you passed the first grade. Well, he did just that and went down the slope and down at the bottom was few more ponies with ski masks on.
You couldn't tell if it was male or female, who they were, or even their cutie marks, all you know is that they were with TF on a horse...pony drawn cart, you know because they had to drag shit along with them. On the cart was plastic explosives they were fixing up.
It was a weird thing what they were doing, in fact it was entirely a new type of explosive that they were making that this universe was surprisingly was able to make an explosive out of, you know according to laws of...science shit and what not. Well, they were doing so and the first pony with the ski mask on, let's just call him Sky for now since we know his name by this point, was going down to meet with the others.
Now there was either six or three or five others down at the bottom, not including Sky because...shit...I don't know. All I know is that they were with TF and they were ordered by him to do their work and shit. The others had different color ski masks on, as they all had their identities hidden as well.
And it was different colors so I suppose they could tell the difference between the others or for TF's sake. Although I'm not a hundred percent sure on that idea as TF wasn't that weak, but he sure didn't have x-ray visions and what not. Well, the others had different colors. One was a dark purple colored one.
Let's call her, and yes it's a she...so all raging feminists that plan to have a free bleeding vagina moment can go bother one of the Cow Tippers...and yes...I've seen it happen at a protest once and it was disgusting...like...so much blood....there was nothing stopping there river of blood killing millions in its wake. Oh...the humanity!
Anyways, let's call the purple one Star Glitter. That sounds like a girl's name right? Well, the next one had a brown ski mask on. Let's call this one Blacky, although to tell you the truth...the one under this brown ski mask might have been a zebra...maybe.
The next one after that? The color of midnight blue. This one we could call Mr. Brown. Then next up was a dark red, which is another she, which we could call...Pink...or that might be her porn star name, I'm not really sure. And lastly, but not least, the last colored ski mask was a grey one.
We could call this one...Snow. Huh...I guess there were five others down there not counting Sky. Well then my bad. Maybe I can't count, or maybe I have the same problems as Quentin Tarantino has where he can't make up his mind on when a movie takes place in. Or anything in general. But at least he can count to three though.
And...wait...now that I think about it, I don't think I just made up those names at all. In fact, those were there code names that TF gave them. Oh yeah, now I remember.
I got drunk one night and looked back on this moment once. Silly me. Well fuck it, we're pushing through. Besides, I can't really editing the black ink out anyways. Well, not without using magic that is, but even then I don't feel like using it.
Anyways, Sky was walking towards the group, which counting him made six. So I suppose...another group of six ponies...this time on TF's side I guess. Then again they didn't live very long, but let's not get into that though.
Well, Sky walked up and he saw that Blacky and Star Glitter were making the bombs while sitting in the cart. As for Pink, Snow, and Mr. Brown, they were just talking to each other, keeping a look out and what not like guards. Mr. Brown then saw Sky coming back from talking with the boss. He noticed him walking towards the group while in the middle of the conversation he was having with the other.
He said out loud, but not too loud so TF could hear, "So, what did the boss say?"
Sky then said, "Get back to work. I'm kind of starting to feel like this guy we're helping out is sort of a jerk."
Then all of a sudden, Blacky interrupted and said, "Yeah...well that asshole got me out of a hole of debt that I kept digging myself in."
Sky then said, "You mean your gambling debt?"
Blacky then said, "It was more than just a gambling debt. Those bastards took my daughter from me, they killed her right and front of me. And then out of nowhere that pony there came out of nowhere one day and helped me out. He got me out of debt, but the mistakes will never be erased."
Sky then asked him, "What was the debt?"
Blacky then said, "It just is...a debt to the group that I owed, the debt that I owed to my daughter...but the debt to god will never be repaid. I just hope she is in Heaven, basking in its glory where it's safe...that's all I wanted for her. Same thing I wanted for her mother as well. And one day, I'll see her again, she'll be there waiting for me perhaps, but until then, I have to live through this hell called a life without her and repaying my thanks to TF."
Blacky was then silent for a bit and then continued his work. Everyone was silent and didn't dare say a word. It was silent like a few minutes before an alarm clock goes off.
You know something is going to happen, the alarm will go off and it will make a loud noise to get you up or alert you or whatever you use it for. But then it goes off...and all that alarm clock does is it continues to go off.
And if you continuously hit the snooze button too many times, it'll grow legs and either take one of your family members or friends or mate hostage and hold a gun to their head or knife to their throat and unless you get out of bed in five seconds, they will die. And the alarm clock yells at you too...just imagine that for a moment...wouldn't that be...a wonderful world?
Yeah...that way, everyone has plenty of time and no one becomes lazy. And the best part, the alarm clock watches you while you sleep at night, watching over you like Kinect, it knows everything about your deepest and darkest secrets....there's no escape from it! ha ha ha...it's kind of funny in a way.
And when you least expect it, the alarm clock will rape you in your sleep...while singing a famous song like I'm Staying Alive or something and then replace all lyrics with the word rape in it. That or raped and murdered. both ways work. That or it was as silent as you're getting older and you know you need to get rid of your stuff animals. But yet it won't be easy, so you end up having to do the hardest thing, put your stuff animals to sleep.
And mostly likely, when you were little, you had to listen to the pure silence as you were killing your stuffed animals by injecting AIDs into your Teddy Bear. Then you quietly wept in the corner as your teddy bear slowly died and leaked AIDs and you saw your Teddy Bear's sad and painful face as it slowly died of AIDs...and then, it caught on fire and burned in Hell. That moment you most likely realized that you should have given your Teddy Bear Polio so it would have gotten into Heaven.
It's only natural you know, to give your Teddy Bear Polio and watch it go to Heaven, but instead what most people do is just give it AIDs, either injecting it with a needle or fucking it...well more or less raping it and pretending it's your dead pet cat that you had when you were five years old.
You always wanted to have sex with your cat, but yet, you could never do it because society wouldn't let you, so you both fought society through the power of dance. But then you realized, your cat was gay so you ended up lynching it and giving the remains to a gay hamster and let it rape its remains. In which case it took turns raping it with the neighborhood dog that you used to fuck in the summer of 69.
You used to pound away at that dog's nice tight ass until it gave you Malaria, in which case you realized the dog cheated on you and you went to Africa and have everyone get Ebola, in which case the Ebola mutated and soon became the size of a human.
But instead of infecting and killing humans, they instead went into the hood and got some Pancake Hoes to suck on their micro dicks, in which case afterwards they would beat up their Pancake Hoes and fuck the Pancake Pimps and soon became the pimps, and soon they were known as Ebola Pimps, in which case the pancakes they fucked had to fuck themselves in order to get money. And this was a world crises and the whole world pointed the finger at Obama, but all he was doing was eating KFC while banging the homeless, and what were you doing you might ask?
Well...you were sitting on the ouch raping some poodles that you found in your cereal box that you decided to warm up in the microwave and get cancer. That's....what every young child does in his or her childhood...trust me I'm a psychic. A psychic of love, and my advice to all the rapists out there?
Well...just go up to a woman in a bar and say, "Hey yea baby...I'm going to rape you," with a little smile on your face with an Evil Presley impression and see what will happen...possibly go to jail but at least you scored though...right?
In a forceful way, and you might just end up getting raped in jail too...it's just how the psychic of love works. You give a little, you get a little. In the end, what you've got is a big pile of shit that you just don't know how to fix. I'm pretty sure that says something about what I'm trying to say.
And what I'm trying to say is, life is random, sometimes you get shit, sometimes shit interrupts you, sometimes life gives you good shit...life is just shit. Shit that does whatever it wants...whenever it feels like doing shit. The shit is like life, it's different every time you go to the toilet. Sometimes it's good, sometimes bad, sometimes you get blood in it, in which case you might want to see a doctor, or maybe you killed someone and ate their corpse, and life is just like that, shit.
Shit is life and shit is love. And what does this have to do what's going on you might ask? Well a little philosophical truth didn't hurt anyone...it just stabbed someone in a dark alleyway back in the late eighties one time and pretty much killed common sense, and now he's on probation. And now...it turns into MTV.
well enough with the explanation stuff...I guess it was an explanation, I don't know, I'm just like that obviously.
Well, what happened next with the group is...shit. Well, everyone was silent as I once said before. Like an alarm clock before it goes off. But after a few seconds of silence.
However Sky then said, "Well then...that's somewhat interesting."
Sky then looked towards Star Glitter and asked her, "So what about you Star? What brought you here to help TF out on this trip?"
Star just looked at him with pure silence. She didn't say a word at all. All she did was just stare at him deeply into his eyes. Sky was looking at her weird, wondering was going on with her. He had expected an answer from her, but yet he wasn't getting anything from her.
He was starting to get worried, so he asked once more, "Uh...hello Star? Aren't you going to say anything?"
Blacky then said, "It's pointless to get her to talk Sky. She hasn't said a single damn word since she came into the group. In fact she's a complete mystery to all of us. Not even TF said anything about her when he was introducing everyone in the group before we left the cabin a couple of days ago."
A FEW DAYS AGO
Yes, we're going to a flash back folks. A flashback within a flashback. Go on...make the big....Inception noise...it's going to come.
And when it does, I'm going to stab the guy who plays the song...and then maybe end up bringing the guy to a snuff film set and have Mickey, the director of the snuff film, just do whatever the fuck he wants to do with the poor guy.
So if to say he wants to pay a million dollars to cut up a bitch, he'll say, "Yeah...ha ha....cut up that bitch real good....yeah now make her eat her own intestines while jabbing a ball point pen in her asshole while raping her....yeah there you go...ha ha..."
All though in all honesty the Mickey that I know would possibly do that, In fact, it's kind of like the American dream...the second American dream that is. There are multiple American dreams and the first one had to deal with a black guy I think...maybe....I'm not sure.
All I know is there are three black people, they are just numbered one, two, and three. One goes out and parties every night, Two becomes a successful black man, and the third one almost never comes out of his home.
Like it's so rare it's like seeing a Black Big Foot for the first time ever in your life and I'm pretty sure if you were to ever see Black Big Foot, you would want to fuck it, so that way you could have bragging rights.
I mean it's true, how many would say that they fucked a big Black Big Foot's dick...and it would be accepted in a more progressive society. So really...you would be a fag.
And yup, that word just got used...and if I recall correctly it's the first...so suck it PC community...but gaming PC community...well....continue playing your Dooms and your Fallout....I guess. Anyways, this flashback goes back and is set in the middle of nowhere. Well almost in the middle of nowhere, as there is a path, more or less a road near the cabin, but aside from there, it's surrounded by large open fields of snow of pure white.
And surrounding the big open plain is some big and tall mountains that can be seen far in the distance. The nearest town from the cabin is a few miles down south and north, about eleven or fourteen miles, something like that. However, the cabin isn't the only building near the road, there's also a little store, an outhouse and a well nearby. Along with a barn for whatever reason and a few gravestones out back.
The store's owners, who are yet to be named, trust me Cow Tippers, you'll get the names, don't be such a pissy little mother fucker, you'll get it if you're a good dog. Ok? Ok. Well the Store's owner pretty much own it as a family store, passed from generation to generation.
And those gravestones were there from previous families from some years ago. Well, we should begin with this flashback where TF is outside of the carriage and he's there standing out in the snow without a coat or anything on. He had a look on his face that says that he shouldn't be messed with at all. As in he is so gritty and dark and edgy that he's too edgy for you to handle...well more or less of too gritty for you to handle.
The edgy part doesn't really count because you need to be Shadow the Hedgehog to be the king of edgy. Well, he was standing out there, looking out on to the field of endless snow. There was some noise going on in the cabin, as Blacky was there inside, trying to gather their things together as both of them spent the night there.
After a few second of ruckus going on in the background, Blacky finally opened the cabin door by kicking it open and still wearing the mask, along with a brown coat as well for the snow.
As he was gathering the things with his mouth, which was a rope along with a saddlebag filled with numerous items within it, he said, "Damn fucking rope, I hate these things. We're not even going to need them."
He also had said it with an aggregated mood on his face that anyone could read. However, he wasn't quite fully outside yet, as the door was old and quickly tried to close on him.
However, obviously Blacky stopped the door from closing on him with his body, which once made contact with him, it sort of hurt and he said, "Damn fucking door! This place can go and burn in Hell or Purgatory for all I care."
After the door hit him, he then proceeded to use his back legs and kick the door open and made it outside before the door closed on him again. Once he did so, there was a wagon nearby, right behind, slightly to the left from his point of view of TF.
So Blacky went ahead and went to the wagon to drop off the rope and saddlebag that he was carrying. Now you might ask, what's with the rope? Will it ever come in to play where you have to face it and it becomes a threat to you or something? Nope...they just carried rope in case they needed it...that or jacking off, so they could cut off their air supply and have a very super orgasm while calling themselves Batman.
It's the only best experience you would ever get from doing it and it's highly worth it too. That or they need it for an emergency...like if they are falling off a cliff and one of them could quickly make a lasso or want to climb down something steep, they could anchor it to something maybe.
It only makes sense really. I mean you never know when you might need rope. Everyone should carry a rope with them. A lot of things makes sense, and the things that only make sense is what matters in life. Well, Blacky put it in the back of wagon and went towards TF to go stand next to him, while somewhat being relieved of his duties of packing up their belongings.
Blacky went towards TF and made hoof prints as he did through the snow as he did.
Once he was right next to TF's right, he was looking at the same direction that TF was.
He wasn't sure what he was looking at or while he was so damn quiet, but it was better than doing work, at least to him that is. After looking at for the most part at nothing, he turned his head looked at TF. He had noticed that TF had nothing on, not even boots or shoes to shield his hooves from the cold snow. He looked and wondered why he could stand wearing absolutely nothing on.
He then looked at TF weird and asked him, "How the fuck come you're not wearing anything? It's god damn cold out this morning and you're not even cold? Is there something that I don't know?"
TF was quiet for a few seconds, but slowly turned his head towards Blacky and said to him, "I am perfectly fine, thank you very much."
TF then proceeded to turn his head back to staring at nothing once more.
However, Blacky still felt like he needed to say something and he then broke the silence between the two of them and said, "Well...can I ask you something?"
TF then slowly turned his head back to Blacky and gave a silent look, to which Blacky then asked him, "Where did you come from TF? I mean, it seems to me that you're just weird, especially for a pony. Now, I don't mean to be offensive or anything, I understand some ponies are weird and it's either they can't help it or it's just who they are, but you really do seem like an odd ball out of all of the ponies that I have met in my damn life. Is it just me or are you some kind of alien or something?"
TF then said to him instantly, "There is no need to know of my origins. If you want to know however, you may in the near future if all things go as they are planned to go. However, if not, then you shall not know a single thing about my past. All you may do is simply guess and that is final."
Blacky then asked one more question before TF went back to looking at nothing and asked, "Well...can I at least ask why are we just waiting here? Shouldn't we be going right now?"
TF then turned his head back to what he was looking at from before and simply said, "We're just waiting for the others to arrive."
Blacky then looked confused a little bit, so confused like a guy who is witnessing a genetically modified humanoid squirrel talk for the first time...And that squirrel is a douche bag.
Basically saying, he was just an ordinary squirrel, you know...chewing on nuts...not knowing if he was gay or not...because all squirrels are bi-sexual and just want to experiment by taking it up the ass, which seems to be the only hole they need to fill really.
Well, one day that squirrel was taken by some nerds in a white coats possibly KKK, and tested on and then one day was given an experimental drug, to where it will make the squirrel decide if it is gay or not, but instead it just made it to where it's like a furry, really buffed up, has a twelve pack and used a lot of illegal steroids in the past thirty years. And it talks.
And that squirrel then has an obsession with bull semen and goes around acting like a total doucebag to everyone he meets and sees and tries to get laid. Well I redact my statement about him him being a douche bag, he's half a douche, but more or less an asshole.
Oh and he's also a very lonely douche bag squirrel. Like he is so lonely he cries himself to sleep in a corner every night, while in public he acts all tall and mighty. And really, it just shows a very valuable more lesson to learn from this...never try to make a humanoid squirrel that talks...or else it'll become a huge douche bag.
Yeah...and just to let you know, even though this may or may not sound stupid writing this, but even though it's the middle of the night while riding a phoenix, it really sounds good in my head...like I can just imagine the douche bag squirrel.
Like it could be turned into a series or something...that everyone will forget after the third episode and then everyone goes jack off while the douche bag squirrel gets no love at all.
Anyways, Blacky then asked TF, "What others? I thought you told me this was only going to be you and me?"
TF then responded with, without even looking at him, "Yes, when we spent the night at this cabin. However, others are coming along our little journey. And speak of the devil, one is already here with us."
Blacky then looked confused even more, as it was only him and TF there. Blacky then turned his head towards the opposite direction where TF was, than he looked back towards TF's direction, but yet he saw no one whatsoever.
Blacky then finally asked, "I don't see anypony here."
TF then said, "My poor blind little lamb, you're only looking at the direction that everyone looks at. But sometimes the most easiest solutions are the hardest. In this case little lamb, all you need to do is change your point of view of things and you shall find the answers you are looking for, even if it is the most brutal answer you shall ever know in your entire life. Even if the answer is the great unfortunate of truths. Even if the truth is very unlucky. But sometimes those ugly truth hare hidden plane sights and luckily no one sees it the sad truth of it all, such as the future or who they really are inside."
Blacky then looked at him with pure silence. He wasn't exactly sure what he was trying to get at, I mean him saying that he was a lamb, it can sound pretty confusing.
And really it is, I mean why was TF calling him a lamb? Well...maybe he was some sort of bullshit Prophet or something....like has the voice of Liam Neeson or something. Like it can make good points, but in the end is just a bunch of random truths that no cares about and just wants to get on with their lives. Maybe TF was being like that.
Or maybe...he was just saying shit that he has no clue about...like the lamb part. Or maybe he just likes to mess with other's heads. But then again, why should I even care about what he said, I mean I'm used to the philosophical bullshit, TF used to and still kind of does it too, philosophical shit.
Anyways, Blacky then was just staring at TF, but TF wasn't saying anything at all to him. He was just stunned and not sure what to say or do next. However, he then took TF's words into consideration and looked behind him, which he might have should have done in the first place, but who the fuck cares really.
I mean, does it really matter at all, but then again I'm just rambling here. So, Blacky looked back and then he saw Star Glitter, with the dark purple ski mask and all, and as silent as a ninja...a non-Asian ninja..because there's a difference.
If you're yellow and a ninja, you're a badass. If you're anything else but an Asian and a ninja, then you're half a badass. But if you're a samurai and yellow...no one gives a shit, in which case you can just go shove a toilet plunger up your ass while jacking off to it because it's so hot like pancakes cumming in your mouth with hot syrup while rapping a little doggie that may or may not be a terrorist.
Anyways, Star was as silent and was not making a sound whatsoever. Blacky was looking at Star and was confused as to why she was silent. He waited to see if she would say anything at all to him, even saying hello would be nice. However, she stayed silent and would remain that way until Blacky finally spoke up after a half a minute of pure silence.
Blacky then looked at TF and asked him, "Well...does she talk?"
TF didn't turn around to look at the two, but instead simply said, "As far as I know, Star Glitter does not speak at all. I am not sure why. For all I know it could be a medical issue or perhaps she is just shy. But if she is shy, then she might surprise the both of us then, for we may never know what can come out of a shy one. Star Glitter is her code name by the way."
Blacky then looked back towards Star and continued to stay silent, while Star continued to stare on deeply into Blacky's eyes.
However, Blacky then said, "Well, I suppose you should know my name. It's..."
TF then cut him off and said to him, "Now be careful Blacky...you shouldn't give you real name. You may never know when it might back fire on you. All it takes is just by giving your real name to strangers. Just give her your code name."
Blacky then looked a bit confused and then said, "What the fuck are you even talking about? That doesn't even make sense. Screw your words of wisdom'. Hi there Star, my name is Blitz Shadow. But the code name that TF here gave me was Blacky. Thought you should know since we're going to be together and what not, assuming as a group. I'm not sure about the others, or how many there will be, but as I have learned in the past, if you're in a group, you need to get to know each other and sort of become friends. Or else the team just falls about quickly. That or something else bad happens."
Star was just silent and continued to be silent that way, so Blacky then said before he turned around, "Yeah...just trying to be considerate here."
After he said that, Blacky turned around and looked back towards what TF was looking at, while Star continued to look back at Blacky's head. As if, she was planning on doing something to him...either rape or rough sex, either way it's kind of the same, but you know you would like both.
Anyways, Blacky then continued to look at the endless field of white snow and then said to TF, "So...how many else are there left we have to wait for?"
TF then said, "Exactly four more left to go until we can head out into the right spot and where your jobs and skills come in."
Blacky then took all that information in, and since it wasn't much, he then thought about that four that were left. And what he thought...was nothing important to talk about...so we shouldn't have to worry what he was thinking about the number four...unless of course he was thinking of the movie, "I am Number Four" oddly enough, despite me being away from Earth years ago and not having to do anything with human activity, or normal human activity, I strangely enough remember that movie's existence.
I wonder if any of you humans remember that movie. I mean,..does anyone remember that movie at all? Does anyone even care about it? I mean...I think that escaped mental patient Michael Bay had something to do with it...I mean he has a mental disorder for wanting to make everything explode and shit. Oh well, moving on.
Blacky was thinking of how many were left that had to come before they left. However, unexpectedly, he saw something in the distance. A little black speck of movement that may or may not have been an intelligent creature of some sort. Blacky saw this and started to squint his eyes, but even while he was straining to try and see who it was coming closer from the field of pure white snow, Blacky couldn't help but feel like it was odd that the pony was walking this slow towards them.
Not only to mention that they were walking in an empty field instead of taking one of the roads that would have been easy to take.
Blacky then asked TF, "Are you seeing what I'm..."
TF then cut him off and then said, "Yes, he is coming rather slower than I had expected."
Blacky seemed a little surprised and said, "You know him?"
TF then said to him, "Yes...he's one of the missing four we are waiting on. His code name...Snow. I picked him since he is good at camouflaging in certain areas."
Blacky then looked back and didn't seem impressed by Snow's camouflage, since he could see him from miles away.
Blacky then said, "Well...he doesn't seem so good at hiding if I can see him."
TF then said to him, "Do not worry, for now is in the open for he knows he mustn't hide yet. You see, Snow is a unicorn and has enhanced his mask to camouflage in particular areas just by simply thinking it. He also knows how to use a gun, more specifically a sniping type of gun. He's one of the very few as of right now in Equestria to know how to use it."
Blacky then recalled what TF had said when he said the word gun. To him, gun seemed to have come out of nowhere, as in he didn't expect guns to even exist or even the idea of it. To him, guns were too weird for ponies to use, but yet, he didn't like them.
Blacky then said to TF, "Gun...mph...whatever happened to just using magic? When did these guns ever come to existence? What, a few months ago? I mean whoever made these guns is an asshole. But to tell you the truth, they seem alien to me, most likely brought in from the Griffin territory. They always like to stir up some trouble it seems. And even though it seems like they can't use guns, at least as far as I can see, I bet they know we could use them without much of a hassle and we would slowly destroy ourselves over it. I'm telling you, these guns are bad news.
'Not only to mention they make us lazy. Whatever happened to those good ol' days of just knives or bow and arrows, back then you had to work for your kill or whoever you're trying to harm. Back then you had to be strong, but with guns, as far as I can see, it seems all you have to do is aim correctly and shoot. I mean they seem cool, but they shouldn't be taken seriously at all. It seems just the younger crowd though is going for these guns, and they possibly have never worked a day in their lives either.
'I mean, I know I'm just sounding like an old stallion just rambling on about new things that I don't understand and I missed out on what these younger crowed are going for, or at least those that wanting to go into this type of business where they have to kill, but I'm in my forties and more than likely I know something about killing.
'Sure, I might be an old piece of shit, but I'm an old piece of shit that knows how to kill. If anything, they should burn all the guns and just stick to regular old killing. That way we remain strong and don't have to just relay on guns to do all the work for us. And whoever brought these guns into Equestria should be hanged, or put to death, which either is worse."
TF then gave Blacky a side glance, looking at him as if he had just insulted him. But I'm sure you can guess where this is going.
TF then spoke up and said, "Well, I'm sure you will find your resolution to your problems in the near future to these guns that are out and about."
Blacky then said to him, "Well, let's just hope soon, because I fear that if they are not rid of soon, they will stick around forever and ever, and forever and ever we shall slowly tear ourselves apart and become mad and to which we should all just put a gun to our head and pull the trigger because what would be the point then of continuing if we're just going to kill ourselves. Not to sound like a maniac, but if we're going to kill, we should kill with strength and our wits, not by machines or guns. Let our own kind kill own our kind and nothing more. That is what we only deserve in this world that we live in."
TF then said to him, "Indeed, and in this world, we only deserve what only we are capable of, not what was once out of reach. "
Blackly then replied with, "I suppose so."
TF ten said to Blacky, "And besides, I find it a little hypocritical of you to say such things about guns. You use them yourself and are very good at it."
Blacky then said to TF, "Well, you have a point there. But despite me being able to pick up a gun and use one, along with it being my preferred weapon nowadays, it doesn't excuse the fact that I think they should be gotten rid of. I don't mean to sound like I'm being a hypocrite, guns are bit fascinating in some ways, but I still stick to my opinion. It's just that for an old stallion like me, guns are for the most part easier for me to use since of my old age. I can't fight like I used to...you know? I mean I can still throw a punch, maybe even snap a pony's neck, but I can only go for so long. Guns, only seem to come in handy for those old ponies that still has an itch for killing. But you know, it's whatever. The world is a crazy place, that's for sure."
And so they just stared out into the distant snow, waiting for Snow to come towards them and greet him with open arms.
Well...mostly open arms. They watched him as Snow was walking to the cabin, while Star remained silent and simply stared at Blacky the entire time. It wasn't for another five or ten minutes until Snow finally made it into view of Blacky and TF.
As I said before, he was wearing a grey mask, but he also carried a powerful sniper, just about the size of his body, on his back. As soon as he was close enough, Snow then said to both Blacky and TF, more or less in a foreign accident, so be creative here folks. Well...assuming that the Cow Tippers didn't get to the green part of your mind that is. And if so....then it must be 1984 then. But I suppose if you need help, then imagine it was a typical Siberian/Russia accident then I guess.
Anyways, Snow said to the two once close enough, "I can see you do not care about me being all the way out there. You two did not even bother to meet me half way and just stood there. But all is fine, I'm in good shape, good body as my body is built for the harsh conditions. I'm just wondering why you just stood there is all?"
Blacky then responded with, "Because we don't give a shit. If you're part of the group, then you should try and keep up. We don't go back for those who are left behind."
Snow was then taken a back for a moment, until he said, "I see...you only expect those who are the strongest of the strong. And that there is no room for the weak at all in this job. I like it, it just means that the group will be strong and I prefer not to be in a weak group. Weak groups are rather slow and not interesting to be in. But this...I like. So then, when do we move out may I ask?"
Blacky then said, "We're waiting on three others. In the meantime, can I ask why did you get into the gun business?"
Snow was then confused and asked, "Excuse me?"
Blacky then said next, "What I mean is why do you use guns, like that sniper on your back instead of the old ways?"
Snow then said, "Ah...yes...I'll be glad to tell you. You see the old ways of using magic and knives are boring. It's just seems too much trouble than what it seems to be worth. But this stuff right here," as he was point to the sniper on his back, "these guns are the best thing ever. They're quick and easy to use , once practiced enough with of course. It isn't easy handling one right off the bat, but once you have the feel for it, it's so smooth. I am not sure who came up with the idea, but I would personally would like to thank them my selves for introducing these guns. And as for the sniper on my back, well I just seem to have the knack for it is all.
'In fact, when I went to train with this gun here, I out did everypony else who was practicing alongside me by a hundred and ten percent. It's crazy don't you think? I could use these things for the rest of my life you know. And I will never have a regret ever using one, even if one happened to be used against me. Anyways, when shall the others arrive?"
Soon there was a noise being made by a wagon not too far behind Blacky and TF. Of course all of them, yes, even Star, saw a wagon pulling up to the entrance of the store. There were two cowponies pulling it with two ponies on top. A brother and sister actually, and of course, their names were, at least for their code names that is, Pink and Mr. Brown. They were there on the wagon, riding in.
The brother seemed to be that type of pony that was tough, but yet soft on the inside. The sister on the other was just somewhat of an idiot, but yet at the same time can be smart a little and bossy even. In fact, once the brother and the sister pulled up to the store, they were arguing. Let's start off with the brother.
Mr. Brown said as they were pulling up to the place, "I fucking told you that you should not have trusted those stallions! You know what happened two days ago sis! You were captured by some old pony who had a stick up his asshole and his companion that was a zebra! They lured you into a trap and caught you and they were going to give you to the sheriff because you had that stupid bounty your head for stealing bread from every city from all over Equestria!"
Pink then said back, "Well you know what you mother fucker, sometimes I get hungry!"
Mr. Brown then said back, "We have good money that we can spend that no one will have known that was stolen! You don't need to steal fucking bread you bitch!"
The sister then responded back with, "Now you don't call me a bitch! Ma said never to use that kind of language and while our poor dear ma is dead, may her soul rest on peace, I'm going to do what Ma always told us!"
The brother then said, "Oh shut up your fucking cunt, you're not fucking Ma! You're not Ma and you'll never will be, got it!? You're fucking lucky that I was even able to save you, since our old gang members basically died for you back in that cabin during a blizzard. They all got shot to death, and may THEIR souls rest in peace god dam it!"
Pink then said, "Now I know you're not disrespecting our Ma!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Fuck our Ma dam it! Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her to Purgatory fucking three times! I don't care about that bitch's soul. If anything, she's the only one that I hate the most in this fucking world!"
Pink then started to give a sniffle, mostly because she was upset that her brother said those mean things about their mother.
However as stated once before, Mr. Brown had a soft spot and saw how his sister was, so he then said, "Now don't be like that. I may hate our Ma, and may her soul burn in Hell, but that doesn't mean I hate you now. Come on, we're siblings, we take care of each other. Come on...it'll be alright, I promise you that."
Mr. Brown then moved forward and started to give his sister a hug, which Pink openly embraced and gave her brother a nice warm hug as well.
The brother then said, "Now...are we ok?"
The sister nodded her head quietly.
The brother was quiet as well, until he then said, "Good....NOW get off the dam wagon and let's go! You hear me you bitch!?"
The sister then went right back to being pissed off and pretty much went back on her word on language before when they had their argument and said, "Oh fuck you, you piece of trash eating dog shit!"
The brother then said as the sister was getting out of the wagon, "Well fuck you, you two timing whore! You're the one who fucking started it and started this whole conversation! You're also a pussy ass bitch too, so fuck you two times in the ass you fucking slut!"
The sister then turned around in anger as she was standing in the white snow as she was out of the wagon and said to him, "Well fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! You can go fuck yourself and die you no good son of a bitch!"
As the brother was getting out of the wagon too, he said out loud to his sister, "Well fuck you to!"
They then remained silent as they walked towards TF and the others. And as they were walking, the group saw what had happened between them. They were too silent about it and not sure what to make anything of it.
However, after a few seconds of silence, Snow then said, "Well then...that was...a bit intense."
Blacky just looked at Snow after he had made his comment. After he did so, he looked back and saw that the brother and sister were pissed off and walking towards them. They eventually got to the group, and they remained silent. And as they were silent, the ponies that were pulling the wagon went ahead and started to leave the area and go back to their place of business and shit like that. I honestly have no clue what those wagons do at all, and I've been here for years.
Anyways, after the wagon had left, they were still silent, until the sister then asked, "Well?...what is everypony's fucking problem!?"
Blacky then said, "You two are the loudest mother fuckers that I know....and that swears the most."
TF then said afterwards, "What he is trying to say is your language and the way you two acted was an embarrassment and shall not be tolerated in the group. And unless you comply to these terms, you can just leave and go somewhere else. I do not mind swearing of course, but with how you two were doing with that kind of language was unacceptable. That is simply childish."
Snow then butted in and then said, "I agree with our leader here. If we're a team, then have to act like a team. that and the cursing was unnecessary as well. I have had my tantrums in my past where I have said countless swear words, but nothing of that measure."
Pink then said, "Well fine...but that son of a bitch right there better keep his hole shut or else I'm going to shut it for him."
Mr. Brown then said to proceed his sister's comment with, "What did you just say to me you bitch?"
TF then moved into in between their conversation and said to them, "Settle down you two. You may have some differences, obviously, but now is not the time to do it. Right now, you both have to make up and work together. now can we agree on that?"
The brother then said, "Fuck that shit! I rather go shove a disc up my ass while banging a rooster in its eye sockets!"
The sister then asked as she looked at him with disgust, "What on earth is fucking wrong with you, you fucking psycho headed asshole!?"
The brother then said, "Well fuck you, I can think whatever the fuck I want and..."
TF then said, "Now that is enough! The both of you stay quiet unless I tell you to this instant!"
They then both remained silent. TF then said, "Now, I don't care what differences you have, nor do I care about fixing them, so please shut up and work together, also watch your language. Now, before we begin our little journey, we are waiting on one other person. His code name is sky and he seems to be running a little late I'm afraid. And sadly I prefer not to leave without him, so hopefully he can make it soon so we can leave this establishment."
Mr. Brown then said, "Sky? That's a stupid fucking code name. You might as well have named him Cloud or fucking Snow or something stupid like that!"
Snow then just stared blankly back at Mr. Brown. Pink then said, "Well I think it's a good name to give somepony....you fucking retarded dumbass son of a bitch!"
Mr. Brown then responded back with, "Oh fuck off sis! You're a cunt that can go fuck off."
And so they continued to argue and curse for a while. While they were arguing, TF then said quietly while giving a slight sigh, "I suppose no matter what I say, those two will always argue and fight. And I still need them on this trip, so I suppose there's no use trying to get those two to stop fighting."
Snow then suggest to TF, "Well how about you try a little more and see where it goes from there?"
TF then said, "We'll see, but I can already tell we have our two idiots in the group. Which can still be useful depending on the correct situation."
And so they waited...and waited...for several hours on end. However, as the hours passed and everyone was remaining quiet like everyone was dead or something, they finally something coming from a distance. Something from the nearby road or path or whatever the fuck it's called.
Well, what they saw in the distance was a carriage. Not too fancy of a carriage, but it was a fine looking carriage nonetheless. However only one seemed to be pulling the carriage, and he was wearing a mask as well. It was Sky of course, however he didn't look mean or anything, he just looked like a normal pony.
he didn't have any special skills, he was just normal. He wasn't an old timer like Blacky was, he was young and had many years ahead of him. He didn't seem to have any language problems of that sort, nor was a son of a bitch. He was just an average pony, but yet, and not just an average pony. He was an average pony that wanted to try, that wanted to try and be in the big leagues and act tough. But in truth he wasn't too much for the big leagues as he would normally suck at that kind of shit, but he would try though.
But the thing is though, he had no clue what the fuck he was doing at all and had no idea what he was getting himself into at all. The group saw the carriage coming to them slowly and they could make it out and assume that it was Sky.
Blacky then said, "Is that him? The one that we had been waiting all of these hours?"
TF then said, "Yes, but why is he pulling that carriage? I never even told to bring one."
As he got closer, they started to talk amongst themselves a lot more.
Snow said to Mr. Brown, "I'm starting to like him, he seems to be doing pretty good pulling that carriage all by himself. And it doesn't seem to be light eight either."
Pink then said, "Well it's about fucking time that he showed up...that slow ass mother fucker."
And as for Star...well she was silent like every other time. I mean clearly it's like...she's foreshadowing herself what's going to happen next....as in she's going to do something. I mean it already happened of course, but you get my point. Anyways, Sky was rolling on into the area and soon he got to the group. Upon closer inspection, the carriage was a little damaged, but still looked nice though.
Sky then asked, "Sorry I'm late, I had to drag this thing a long way."
Blacky then asked, "Why the fuck are you pulling that thing?"
Sky then said, "It's...a long story. I kind of made a promise someone that I would take this to sell it so they don't know that I'm going with you guys."
Snow then asked Sky, "So is there someone worrying about you?"
Sky then said, "Yeah, a marefriend at home is all. I'm telling you, she's the love of my life and I am sure not wanting her to worry her about me while I am on this trip."
TF then said to Sky, "You do realize I am not paying you for this trip, right? All of these fine ponies here are only here because they owe me something."
Blacky then said, "Well of course he knows that, isn't that why you brought him along TF?" TF then said, "No, I only brought him along because he volunteered. He heard me talking about the trip and he said wanted to join. I told him no at first, but yet he kept asking me. However I changed my mind and told him he could come along, but for reasons I don't know why he wanted to come."
Sky then said, "Well, I'm just here because it feels like a great opportunity to become somepony, you know? Going out in on this trip, working as a team, learning how to be tough, show that I can be strong and not weak. Honestly I'm just doing this for my marefriend is all. I want to marry her someday and I don't want her to think I am weak or anything or I don't provide for her anything. Sure she can be fine on her own, but as my father always told me that if I ever have a wife, I better make sure I take darn good care of her, and I will.
'However I know it won't be easy and I will have to face challenges along the way. Sure some of it's taking care of the kids, being a good father figure, being nice and what not, I've got that stuff down already. It's just that if she is ever in danger, I need to learn how to fight back, I need to learn how to be tough and to be smart, and so I believe this trip shall help me gain a better understanding of that. That is why I am coming along with you guys, to make myself better and for a better future for me and my marefriend."
Everyone in the group was silent, they weren't shocked or anything of that sort, but just silent.
They didn't say anything, they stared at him...until snow said in a happy voice, "Well then...that sounds like a good way to become a stallion! I like it, and I'll show you how to become a real Stallion as well. I can even teach you to hold down your vodka and other liquor. Yes, there's nothing more than becoming a real, strong stallion. In fact, I believe all stallions should become like that and not some sissy mama's boy. Come, we have much to discuss on this trip."
TF then said, "Yes, well, you shall have to keep your carriage here, I'm sure you can store it in that barn over there."
TF then pointed with his right hoof over by the barn that wasn't too far away.
TF then continued to say, "Do not worry, it'll be there by the time that you are finished."
Sky then said, "Alright then, I shall do just that."
And so Sky started to head to the barn to lock up the carriage there and what not.
TF then turned around and looked at the group that he rounded up and said to them all, "As for the rest of you, start loading up on the wagon except for you Snow, you're pulling, and Sky can pull with you since he seems he is strong enough for it. I'll give you the directions as to where we are headed, so everyone on the wagon, we have wasted enough time here."
And so Pink, Mr. brown, Blacky, and TF got on board the wagon that was also filled with other various items on it as well, while Snow got to the front and got ready to pull the wagon. Soon Sky got out of the barn after he made sure the carriage was secure and soon headed back.
As soon as he was close enough, he then said, "Come on Sky, you're pulling with me! And while we're pulling we can talk about the first steps of being a real Stallion."
And Sky did so and they just pulled, nothing much to really say there really. I mean all they did was pull and pull while TF gave them directions on where to go, which was of course the place where we left off, the train tracks.
And also, just to make sure the Cow tippers are aware of this, they were all wearing their masks and they may or may not have cared about using their real names, it doesn't fucking matter, you get the point where they started off and where they all met at. I mean it seems nowadays these Cow Tippers are all over the place back on Earth. it's like a disease of the Earth, a cancer really. Or a better word to describe these Cow tippers is an infestation.
I mean they're like little maggots that may or may not be faggots and are annoying too. And when I mean by faggots, I mean by annoying bikers, since I'm sure in the future, there was enough annoying Cow Tippers to change the definition. But it's alright, it's ok.... shhhhh....it'll be alright Cow Tippers, all you need to do now is pay attention...and shit like that.
And besides, you don't think l would noticed...did you? Remember our little deal Cow Tippers? On how everything will be alright, if you just kill all the Bear Jews? You didn't get rid of those Bear Jews did you? I still see them in Russia and in the Middle East dam it! This is an outrage! I demand to know your leader of the Cow Tippers...no...wait....let me guess...a random black guy...no...Howard Stern...I knew he was always suspicious....he's an agent; I always knew it.
Or perhaps...no....he's a double agent...so that means....the leader of the group is....gasp...it's Sarah Palin isn't it? No...that's the leader's bodyguard...no...it's really ALF. I should have known this entire time, everyone forgot about him, so he tried to be relevant and become annoying as ever...even more annoying than the unfunny 80's jokes that he made. Dam you ALF! Dam you to Hell!
Anyways, let's go back the flashback...the first level flashback, not the second level, we're done with the second level. We just got the kick to go back to the first level flashback.
BACK AT THE TRAIN TRACKS...
Yup, we're back here again, the first level flash back that is. I mean, I didn't forget, I just thought the Cow Tippers would like the second level flashback is all. I mean, they are picky about things in life aren't they? They are so picky they would kill someone and take their own hearts out and ...fuck it...fuck it like a pig in the hot summer sun with duck fuckers on their backs as they are trying to eat vanilla pudding with AIDs...yup that's just how Cow Tippers are nowadays. You sick fucks.
Back in my day...cow tippers had at least a little respect for others, but nowadays with their fancy new phones and their new music...all they say is a bunch of bullshit that comes out of their mouths everyday...so those dam Cow Tippers better stay off my lawn...or else...I'll get a Cow Tipper remover.
In which case it will then slaughter them all and force feed their remains to their friends and family and as they are puking up chunks as they are being told what they are eating, they will have a bomb strapped to their elbows and if they do not comply with the Cow Tipper remover in thirty seconds of eating the remains of their loved ones...the bombs will drill a hole into their elbow and forever give them AIDs...then the bombs will evaporate into thin air and they will have to forever live in forever in eternity with AIDs...and as ghost too...they will have to walk the Earth forever and ever...like a Highlander or something like that...am I getting that reference right?...a highlander...never saw it but...you get the idea...it's a reference so be happy I guess...anyways, yeah...so stay off my lawn you cow tippers...if you know what's good for you...because a school bus filled with baby ducks will explode if you do come on to my lawn...and fuck on it...
Well anyways, back to what was happening. After everyone remembered what happened a few days ago at the cabin, they just stared at Star. She was silent and was not going to say anything at all. All she did was stare at the others, thinking deeply within her own mind.
Snow then asked out loud, "I do wonder...what is she thinking all the time?"
Blacky then responded to Snow with, "Well I have no idea, and really I don't give a fuck. As long as she isn't plotting to slit our throats while we sleep at night, I couldn't care less. You see I've been around the world back in my earlier days and if anything that I learned from this life of mine, it's that in the end, you really shouldn't give a damn about anything unless it concerns you. If you do anything aside from that, you'll just end up getting yourself killed one day."
Sky then stared at Star for a little bit longer and then thought about what Blacky had just said to him.
He then asked Blacky, "So...Blacky...do you think she is plotting to kill us?"
Blacky then looked at Sky and said to him straightforward, "Well I hope not, but if she, then we all better start watching our backs or run away now. But...in my honest opinion though, I don't think so...sure TF seems like a suspicious fella and he did hire some odd characters, as you can clearly see right now in front of you, but I'm assuming that he knows what he is doing."
Sky then looked towards the back of him. What he saw was just the night sky with all the pretty stars out, glittering in the night sky right next to Luna's moon that she cares for every day.
However Sky wasn't concentrating on the night sky or stars, he wasn't filled with that much hope, but instead he was looking back to the area where TF was, where his and along with everyone's boss was at, staring at Cantorlot castle into the distant. That stroked Sky as weird to him, he questioned himself.
He then asked to everyone in the group, "Guys...what do we know about TF? What is he after? Where does he come from? How come he's so...odd? Not only to mention why are we here?"
Then...everyone remained silent. Not everyone knew why they were there, I mean...they knew why they were there but not WHY they were there...like some sort of deep question with a symbolic answer to it, you know...like an artsy movie.
That one artsy movie that always seems to win every year at the Oscars and shit.
And the director's and actor's behind said movie always says, "The movie is all about life and death and how we are all in a shit hole with nothing to lose. I don't give a damn..."
Then they will take a cigarette out and smoke...all while in black and white. In fact, all artsy type people see in Black and White...because...irony...that's why. So either they are colored blind or an iron was dropped on their head as a baby,...Anyways, they all stood there in silence, wondering what brought them all there. Although deep inside, they knew, they just didn't want to share with the others in the group.
However, Snow then broke the silence within the group and finally said, "Well...I have heard something about this TF where I come from, but only rumors to be exact though. And where I come from, things like this doesn't travel around that far unless it has something to do with the princesses. With TF on the other hoof, he is something else. I believe the rumors that he was bringing something into Equestria that was...oh what was it...ah yes...I remember now. The rumors was that that TF was bringing something into Equestria that could change wars."
Sky then looked a little confused. 'Change war?' he had thought.
Sky then spoke up and asked, "What do you mean to change war? Like how we fight or something?"
Blacky then said, "Well no shit sherlock...what else did you think he meant when he said the word war? It's war, all you do is fight. The only other thing that also goes with war that many can't do is profit off of it. In other words, the Economy of War. aside from that, it's nothing but pain, regrets, and death. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. But in the end the winners gets to write the history books and control how we think.
'And if to say some sort of evil wants to destroy every library in Equestria and start fresh, then all of this history about the princesses and such will only be a distant memory that becomes forgotten. And if everyone is dumb enough, we'll just end up with no revolution of any kind and we will all follow like sheep to the slaughter. That's why ponies like me and others have fought in wars before to keep that from happening.
'That's why we gave our lives to fight so the memories of the past can never die. So we all are not herded like sheep and led to die. That is why we remain strong as a nation...not for freedom or free will or power...it's so none of us gets killed and forgotten...that way we can be free ...that way we can be strong. Although to tell you the truth we'll never be truly free, we'll always have shackles on our legs for our souls are bounded to this world and this world only, but it's good enough. But in the end...no one cares...we just think everything is either all good and nice in the world or everything is shit and terrible in the world...either way we don't end up caring hard enough until the darkest of days come for us...that's when we realize we need to fight back and fight for our survival."
Sky and the others looked up at Blacky. He had seemed so weird and old, but yet some truth hid in his words, but yet something that they cannot yet comprehend. However, Sky then asked Blacky, "So...uhh...you were in a war?"
Blacky then said, "Yup...The Great War...the war that Equestria doesn't even knows about...I almost died too."
Snow then asked Blacky, "Tell us Blacky...what was the war about? I always do love a good war story."
Blacky then said, "Fine, but listen up all of you...I'll only say it once. Now there's a lot to tell, but I'll try and give you the short version of it."
Once upon a time, many moons ago...or years however you prefer that is...a country threatened Equestria. I have forgotten the name of said country over time, but I don't even know the bastard that started the damn war too...but I do remember his face. He looked like an old piece of shit, granted not too old, but when you looked into his eyes, you knew he meant business. He never kid around, only what he wanted to be done was what he meant. However, the country he ran didn't show any signs of war aiming at Equestria...in fact the leader had a good relationship with Celestia and Luna...as if they were friends. But that was only an act...he was simply just treating them like sheep. But of course the town that I was living in, which was Stalia and a few others knew some bullshit was going on with him.
'We saw past his charm and red cape that he always wore as a symbol of his leadership...we knew something was going. So the towns pulled through together and sent spies to his country and sad to say most of them died and were killed...all except for one. The spy that came back told us everything what was going to happen. We tried to tell the Royal Sisters, but like sheep, they didn't believe what we said. So it was either we banded together to fight back or we all died like sheep. Of course we chose the former...we banded together as towns and we fought back. We won some battles and we lost some others. That's war, you win some and you lose some.
'Not only until near the end of the war when we were losing, but we amazingly pulled out on top. Sad to say though every other city backed out towards the end, mostly because they too ended up like sheep, but Stalia, we knew better, and on the last days of war, we planned the attack to end his reign. I wasn't in the last battle, for I was injured and my squad was all killed as well with me being the only survivor of the group, but I saw the battle from a distance and saw that son of a bitch had a giant airship with canons aiming at the few that were still standing against him. But in the end another group killed him...hanged him too...but I'm not sure what happened after that though. As far as I know though only a few know about the war. And in all honesty, I'm not sure anypony cares anymore about it.
'So...that was that war, but that's just the short version of it. The longer story has more details and battles loss. We fought hard to protect Equestria, and we did...and the Royal Sisters shall never know the truth of it either...and it's best if they didn't. If they did, they might feel bad for not listening to us, have pity on the lost souls, or might be disgusted that we killed the son of a bitch and hanged him too. Usually they prefer not to kill, only to imprison, but...we did what we had to do. So...that's the war story that you wanted Snow...now let me ask you...were you ever in a war?"
Snow then said, "Why yes...yes I was in a war...well more like a few. But it was other countries that others know about, I was even in a civil war once as well...and I haven't been injured once."
Blacky then said, "Good for you...and you Sky...have you been in war before.. or at least fought in some kind of fight before at least?"
Sky then looked a little feverous and then said, "Well..no...don't you remember that I came on this trip to learn how to be tough?"
Blacky then told him, "I know...I'm not stupid. I'm just asking if you ever had before in the past, because no other pony would have came on this trip if they didn't have what it takes to be tough. I mean when you join the military, not anypony can join, only those that are tough enough on the inside can join. They can be soft on the outside, but on the inside they need to be at least tough in some sort of way...so...are you tough enough to come on this trip? Are you tough enough to kill your own pony kind?"
Sky then looked a little scared, but soon tried to steer clear of the subject and said, "What makes you think we're going to kill somepony. I understand we might harm some...but...killing...I don't think that's why TF brought us along for the trip..." Blacky then said, "Really now? Well then...Mr. Brown, Pink...have you two ever been in a war aside the both of you?"
Mr. Brown then said, "I reckon she has, maybe...but I sure have, granted it ain't no war but I've killed others in the past."
Pink then looked with a face that was disgusted what her brother said about her and she then said, "You son of a fucking bitch! You know that I have fought enough just as much as you have you mother fucker!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Nag nag nag...that's all you do you bitch...why don't you stay in the kitchen or something..."
Pink then gave a punch to her brother's face, no blood, but it did leave a slight mark as Mr. Brown stumbled a little bit to the side.
He then took a few seconds to recover until he said, "Now you're going to get it you fucking..."
As he was about to punch back, Blacky then said, "Enough of you two!...that's enough. And Star..."
He then looked at Star for a few seconds until he then said, "Well I'm just going to assume you've fought."
He then looked back towards Sky and then said, "You see my point here Sky...all of us here have at least killed somepony...and you...as far as I know you're just some pony that no one gives a fuck about except for your marefriend or whatever."
Sky then asked, "What are you...trying to say Blacky?"
Blacky then said, "What I'm trying to say is that you don't belong here...if you're not useful to the group, you might as well leave right now...you have no place amongst killers...even if you tried right now."
Snow then spoke up, "Now wait a moment there Blacky...maybe we can make him a warrior...show his girl back home how strong he is. Maybe by the end of this trip we can turn him into an Alpha."
Blacky then said, "Whatever...but I'm not going to train him..."
Sky then said, " Well actually...I was hoping you could help me how to be tough."
Blacky then looked at Sky and then asked him, "And why do you think I'm going to help you?"
Sky then said, "Well...you are the oldest one here and the wisest one here it seems...not only to mention you're a war hero so you'll be perfect to help me out."
Every other one in the group then stared at Blacky, especially Snow as he stared at him as they were waiting for his response.
Snow even said to Blacky, "He has a point you know?"
Blacky then said, "Fine...when we get out of here for our next stop...where ever it may be...I'll teach you a little something...but if you don't do what I say...then I'm done...got it?"
Sky then said, "Yes sir."
Blacky then said, "Good...not looking forward to it...but at least you said you'll listen."
Mr. Brown then asked quickly, "Uhh...weren't we talking about TF and how he's going to change war Snow?"
Snow then said, "Ah yes...seems like we got a little off track. Well rumors were spreading that he had a something that was going to change how war is. In fact...I have that thing right now." Snow then took the sniper off his back and showed it to everyone in the group, the gun looked complex in structure, but had a white coat to it."
Pink looked at it in awe and she then asked, "Golly...what is that beautiful thing?"
Snow then said, "Well, they're calling it a sniper, well in general that is. There are many types from simple small ones to complex ones as this one. And there are other types of funs as well I'm sure you know. I'm sure all of you have used one by now. Anyways, I just happen to be good with this one. It just started to be produced about three years ago, and I've used this gun in one of the wars that I've been in...it's just that it hasn't reached everywhere just yet...but at some point it will."
Snow then took the gun back and put it where it belonged to carry it. Snow continued to say, "To be honest I remember when I first heard the rumors, I just got back from a civil war and I was at a bar having a drink along with my comrades for a job well done. We had spilled so much blood too, so we were celebrating our victory, and as we were laughing and singing and enjoying ourselves...word started to spread around about a new machine called a 'gun'. I didn't believe it at first since it sounded like an old Mare's Tale...but then I finally saw the gun a few weeks later. I was surprised by it and couldn't get my mind off of it. and it's all thanks to TF...he's somewhat of a hero where I come from. We even make up stories as to where he came from too."
Blacky then said, "And tell us Snow...what kind of made up stories have you heard about TF?"
Snow then said, "Well there are several, although I have heard one that seems to be correct but not sure though. Anyways, some say that he was born into a wealthy family that profits off of war, and also comes from a powerful family. Others say he was abandoned at birth, but then a pack of timber wolves found him and took care of him, and as soon as he was able to go on his own, he left to find his own kind. There he was able to make a gun and change how we see war. But others say that he is actually an ancient spirit that was lost for thousands of years, longer before even the princesses were born, and now he has come back to help Equestria to be more powerful than before.
'But of course those are all just stories. In truth...at least I believe it is...he just came from nowhere one day and gave the gun to the right people in order to produce it. But either way...he's making sure countries like Equestria and other countries are as powerful...or perhaps to make the ponies the dominate species of intelligent beings. But either way...TF is a hero...and whoever he is hunting down is an enemy to him, so whoever is an enemy of TF's is an enemy to me.
'Besides, that's what he told me when we met, that this trip was to take someone down that would be wanting to take our guns away in the future. And of course I'm not letting that happen."
Blacky then said, "Well that sounds fine and all, but in all honesty he had to come from somewhere...I'm not sure where, but really I don't care. I'm sure the real story is that he had a normal child hood, went to some fancy universities, got a few degrees, and then made something that would change war forever and to rewrite history books by putting his name in it so it can last forever in infamy.
'Now to tell you the truth I've heard about these guns before, in fact I've used them before and I am a crack shot at using a rifle and a simple handgun...granted not sure why they call it a handgun...not sure why hoof isn't used, but whatever. It could be called a flower for all I care and I'll still say it. Anyways, my thoughts on the gun is simple...I think they're cool...but something tells me that this was a mistake in inventing the gun. Sure it's easier to kill your enemy, not only to mention quicker too.
'I like that, but what I don't like is that I can see those that want to profit off of this will soon make hell come to Equestria, that we all suffer from his invention. Now I've been shot once by one of these guns before and let me tell you, it hurts like hell. Especially when they try to get the bullet out of you when you're not near a hospital to give you pain killers. In truth...it hurts like a bitch...so just imagine a war with ponies fighting each other in it and everypony has a gun. So much pain...so much death...so much blood to be spilled with these guns.
'If anything it might just end up bring our destruction...maybe...although I'm not making any accusations...yet...but I can't help but speculate that TF is even smarter than you think...maybe he's just leading all of pony kind like sheep to the slaughter...and all we will do is look the other way while he has the knife in his hooves to kill us all.
'Then again...I'm not sure...I really can't tell his true actions...but he is hiding something...but perhaps I'm just overacting. I am an old stallion after all and chances are it's all in my head. Chances are what he's hiding is whoever he is after here tonight...and chances are...I'm either very wrong about that...or very right. But whatever my answer is...I'll possibly die on this trip...but we can only speculate...can we now?"
Sky then looked a little confused by what he meant by dying tonight, so he then asked him, "What do you mean...that you think you'll die tonight Blacky? I mean I know this is a little bit of a risk of getting harmed...but...we're not going to die...are we?"
Sky then looked around the group, wondering if he was alone or not on the subject.
Blacky then gave a little sigh and then said to Sky as a response, "Listen Sky, we're not exactly sure who TF here is after, so for all we l know he could be some sort of assassin...that or an idiot that just pissed TF off too much. In the end, we're not getting paid to do this, we just owe him something, so in return we're helping him out. With you, you get nothing but a chance to show what you've got to this world. And if you can kick this world in the teeth with your hooves, then you'll survive, but if not, then more than likely you'll be the one that dies tonight. Besides...I just have a gut feeling something is going to go wrong while we're on this trip. I just have a gut feeling like something isn't right at all, but we can only hope."
Sky then asked Blacky, "Blacky...do you really think whoever TF is after is an assassin?"
Blacky then responded back, "Really...I have no fucking clue...but we'll find out won't we? But I'm sure everything will be fine...as long as you stick with us. And besides, whatever this guy did to TF must have been wrong to piss TF off. Especially since TF gathered a group together to hunt him down...so maybe we're under estimating as to who this pony we're dealing with here. Oh well...don't worry about it."
Sky then asked one more question, "Blacky...do you know why...why TF seems so odd. I mean after all that we have talked about now, he seems like an odd pony for us to be working with. Maybe...do you think he'll end up killing us in the end Blacky?"
Blacky then stared at Sky for a while, not giving him nothing but a cold stare into his soul.
However he eventually broke the silence and said back to Sky, "Well...considering everything that has happened to us in the past, he could, but really I'm not sure. I'll agree, TF does seem odd, he doesn't act like any other pony that anypony here has met in the past. Not only to mention he has said the word 'man' from time to time, or was it the word 'human?' Either way, he has said weird things and I'm not sure what he is referring to at all. Perhaps he is hiding something from us?"
Sky then asked Blacky, "What do you think he's hiding?"
Snow then butted in and said, "Perhaps he's creating a new weapon of some kind, that would be interesting, perhaps I could use it and replace it my rifle if it's good enough."
Mr. Brown then stated, "Maybe he's just hiding the fact that he's sleeping with this whore right here...a.k.a. my sister..."
Pink then looked furiously at him and said, "Shut the fuck up you two timing piece of shit!"
Blacky then finally said to shut up everyone else, "Well...I don't know. But I believe that is why he seems odd. I'm not sure what he's hiding...but perhaps something big, something more or less than what we can comprehend in our little pony minds. Perhaps...he knows something, something that not even the princesses or even god herself knows. More than likely, he is hiding secrets, and if that's that case, I have without a doubt that's why he is after this one pony...because he knows something as well."
Sky then asked Blacky, "What do you think he knows?"
Blacky then said, "Well...perhaps like I said something that we couldn't comprehend...for all we know he could know the secrets of the universe and all of time and space. He could hold the key to eternal life as we know it. Perhaps he is guarding a treasure somewhere nearby. Or maybe...he's just out for revenge for something that other pony that he's after did to him. In fact, I believe he said something like that, not directly, but gave off a few hints. If I had to guess with those slight hints, I'm guessing something bad happen between those two, as in they used to be friends, but are now enemies to each other and now wants him dead. And if that's case, than may Celestia have mercy on this pony's soul that he is after, because there is nothing more sad than two friends falling apart, more or less anything that stood together strong that now falls together apart.
'In a way that's how civilizations fall, when war comes from within. But even after that is said, it makes TF even more odd than we know about him right now. It makes him very odd to be precise. I mean ponies can kill other ponies, it has happened in the past, but usually in Equestria it doesn't happen too often, especially around and near Ponyville or Cantorlot. Usually no other pony dies, with the exception of Stalia of course, but from experience, if you're used to sunshine and happiness, think twice before going to Stalia."
Snow then asked Blacky, "Tell us Blacky, what is this Stalia that you speak of...I know it's a town of some kind, but I never really heard of it before."
Blacky then said, "Well...there's a good reason for that. I'm not one hundred percent sure on why barely any pony knows about it, but I can say one thing...it's like a town like no other. It's bigger than Ponyville, but not nicer or cleaner. The town has problems, but yet remains strong, even in times of dread. In the end, it's the odd one out of all of Equestria.
'Granted I haven't visited the town in about twenty one or so years ago, so perhaps things have changed to where it is small and nicer like Ponyville. But I will say one thing about that town, it has a weird, dark, but yet nice little history. But mostly dark though, as many ponies have died for that town. That town was founded on grounds to get away from Ponyville.
'And so the founders did, and even though no other pony cares about it, I can say for sure that this town is pretty damn important for Equestria's survival as a country...or heck, as a home. Like I said, during the great war, Stalia was Equestria's only hope in surviving and Stalia pulled through. Although another incident did occur after the Great War, although it's a little odd to discuss."
Sky then asked, "Well...what is it? You can tell us...I mean it might be odd but...come on...having guns is pretty weird right now, so it's not like it'll be that weird."
Blacky then said, "Oh...but it is weird, something that sounds like that comes from some science fiction novel...something that sounds like nothing else you have heard of."
Snow then said to Blacky, "Come now...spit it out for us...we can take it..."
Blacky then said, "Alright then...but trust me it's weird. Stalia disappeared from Equestria at one point...literally....and where it ended up at was, believe it or not...the moon. Now to this very day how the town ended up on the moon is beyond me, but all I remember that day that the day quickly turned into night, and what I was presented was that something about this town and luck just doesn't go together well was in my head. We were in space, granted there was a huge glass dome over us, but still we were in space. Then there was a screen, a big one on the dome appeared and some pony in a black mask said that after The Great War, he or she would never forgive us and this was a little revenge.
'You see on the day that this happened, we were supposed to be recognized by the Princess herself as a town or a village or whatever, since like I said, we were never known throughout Equestria. Well...that's what this pony did, so we could forever remain unknown and die in space alone and isolated. However, word got around that the unit that ended The Great War last time went out to try and solve the problem...and they did, they were somehow able to send us back home safely on the ground...but as word got around as usual, they sacrificed themselves. I believe they were in some sort of space station too and I saw it with my own eyes through a telescope that the station exploded and soon it looked like shooting stars at some point so no other pony questioned about it.
'I remember too...ponies scrambling around trying to find a way to look at the space station...we called it The Second Great War, but this time it was for our own survival and so we wouldn't be forgotten. And once again...we won that war...but I'm sure the town has many more wars to come to it and fight for survival in the near future. That town...Stalia...it's something else I'll tell you. You hear these Elements of Harmony saving Equestria everyday and how they are heroes...but then I think about it in my own head and wonder, 'what if they knew of what Stalia went through?'
'I'm not sure what would happen of course, but through many wars that Stalia has fought, especially for the fate of Equestria, it sure has done more than those damn Elements...but then again I could be proven wrong though. Maybe I'm just too old, and to tell you the truth I am old. I've seen the worst of the worst in my day, I've fought and killed, I've done so much...heck after this I'm thinking about just finding a nice little place in Stalia to retire at and take it easy until I die. Besides, I've got nothing to do...and who knows, whatever Stalia goes through next I'll be there too...and it might just be the death of me as well. But it would be a way to go out though."
Snow then asked, "So...you think that Stalia is better than these Elements of Harmony and Ponyville?"
Blacky then looked at Snow and then said, "Well...in terms of survival...yes...I've seen Stalia go through a lot that I know that Ponyville would not be able to handle themselves...even with the elements...they would just die in the dirt...but in terms of everything else...possibly not. Granted I know that town has a grudge against Ponyville for years, so I know that town would have my head if I would say that."
Sky then asked, "Well...why does Stalia have a grudge against Ponyville Blacky?"
Blacky then said, "It's a long story, goes all the way back to the origins of the town and it'll take too long to explain it to you, but let's just say it's why the founders left Ponyville. Granted they ended up dying about three months later after they established the town, but like I said, long story for another time. Maybe when this is all over, you can come visit me at my little cottage or wherever I decide to stay at in Stalia and I'll tell it to you."
Snow then said, "So...after all that I've heard from you, it sounds like you have a feeling that something is going to happen in your gut, like something really big is going to happen to Equestria and Stalia and such...what do you think is coming?"
Then everyone looked at Snow and just stared at him blankly...and Blacky then said to him, "What in the name of Equestria made you think after all that I have said that I have a gut feeling something is going to happen in the future?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Yeah!? I mean all I heard was nag nag nag...just like this bitch here next to me says a lot of the time."
Pink then looked at her brother and said, "Oh fuck off and eat a dick you prick!"
Snow then said, "Well...it sounds like it to me...that's all. I mean out of everything that you have told me, it sounds like Stalia is special for a reason. Perhaps some demons might come up from the ground and invade Equestria or devils will fall from the sky and we will be all doomed unless Stalia is there and up for the task at hoof. Especially when you said when the town was brought into space, sounds like monsters can come from anywhere then. And who knows, we might just be entering that period where devils are leading us to the slaughter. In fact the devil might just be walking amongst us right this very moment...and we wouldn't even know it. Or perhaps it's not just one, but a few demons walk amongst us; we would have no idea."
Blacky then said, "You bring up a valid point Snow...perhaps somepony here is some sort of demon and is walking amongst us in disguise. Granted if that's the case, then we'll surely die because we won't see it coming. Granted we could always try, but we'll never know for sure exactly. In the end, we're just ponies, all we've got is magic and for most, friendships.
'Sure there's a little more than to that, but it's the truth though, and if some devil is walking amongst us, then we'll die and be led to the slaughter in no time. Our only hope now lies within god now if that's the case...and more than likely you're right. So...may god help us all and have her save us from whatever is going to happen next."
Mr. Brown then said, "Hey sis...can you believe this idiot actually believes in god What an retard."
Mr. brown had said it silently as in a whisper next to his sister. So Blacky didn't hear it.
Snow then said, "Actually, now that you bring up Stalia, I have being hearing about a set of new elements in that town...what or who are they called again?" Blacky then had a little bit of a shocked face and asked, "There is another set of elements? Huh...that seems a bit weird considering most ponies talk about harmony and what not nowadays."
Snow then said, "Ah yes...I remember now. The new set of Elements is called The Elements of Protection. Haven't heard much about them other than they are living in Stalia. But I did hear one of them did save one of the princesses of Equestria, Twilight I believe."
Sky then joined in and then said, "Oh yeah...I've heard about them. I think they're names are Mac Farmer, Neon Party, Classy Jack, Forrest Fire, and Arrell...although I'm not so sure about the last one though. In all honesty I think he was once a personal student of Celestia at one point...just like Princess Twilight once was. Kind of sounds like history is repeating itself here just a little, but that's just me."
Blacky then asked Sky, "Huh...so what else have you heard about these Elements of Protection?"
Sky then said as he looked down at the ground a little bit, sort of with a small disappointing sound in his voice and said, "Well not much really. In fact not many ponies actually know who they really are other than their names, where they live, and that one of them saved Princess Twilight in Manehatten from something. Aside from that, I don't even know what elements they even represent or how they even got these elements, but from the article that I read in a newspaper one time, it did say that Celestia said that it was made many moon ago, although that's all she had to say on the matter."
Blacky then said calmly, "Elements of Protection Huh?... What's next...Elements of Fear or Cringe or something like that? Back in my day you never heard any of these elements other than the word 'harmony' from Princess Celestia, but nowadays everypony can't seem to stop talking about some sort of Elements. First it was Elements of Harmony and how they saved Equestria a bunch of times and now all of a sudden Elements of Protection pop up out of nowhere and saved one of the princesses of Equestria. Let me guess, these Elements are going to save the world one day instead of Equestria? Better yet...why not make it the universe...I'm telling you, whatever happened to those days when you didn't hear about somepony saving Equestria all the damn time."
Snow then said, "Sounds like someone is a little jealous..."
Blacky then quickly shot a look at Snow and then asked him, "What are you talking about? I'm not jealous...I'm just sick of hearing some Elements saving Equestria...that's all."
Snow then said, "Well have you heard about what Princess Celestia is calling the 'TK Incident?"
Blacky then said, "No...please tell me because I would like to hear a news story for once instead of something about the god damn elements and shit."
Snow then said, "Yes well...according to Celestia, an intruder entered Cantorlot a few weeks ago and this pony, who has no name other than that he was in some sort of black suit, broke into her school and killed a lot of royal guards and even took a family hostage. According to her, this pony even managed to hold a child hostage and that she had no other choice but to let him go. And that's not the only weird part, but Celestia also said that the pony now resides in or around the town of Stalia.
'And that's not the half of it. I've heard through rumors in my hometown that the pony didn't just visited Cantorlot, but also a few towns near the edge of Equestria where not even the princesses' laws reach. Apparently this pony threatened an entire town that didn't like him and even crushed a few folk's skull in, burned an entire town filled with bandits that preyed on the weak and stole any goods that they have for them and kill them, and even visited a forgotten city hidden somewhere in the Everfree Forest, although that last part though if you ask me is made up."
Blacky then asked Snow, "And where did you hear this from?"
Snow then said, "I have my sources, secret sources that is that I am not allowed to tell you about...or else I'll have to slit your throat tonight when we all get some rest...I'm serious, my sources are serious business and confidential, so I would have to no other choice but to kill you if I told you for you would know too much. But don't worry...I'll won't tell you...I'll spare you your life since we're good friends right now. Honestly I tell this to my enemies so I have a good reason to kill them, good for the conciseness."
Blacky then said, "Right....well whoever this pony was , he has the biggest balls that I've ever known considering that he did all those things that you said he did...assuming that is true, but really in the end I don't care. Although with that killing part Snow, I have no guilty conciseness for me whenever I kill a pony. In all honesty I just think to myself that it's for survival, that I either survive or I don't, and in most cases, considering I'm not a psychopath, it's for survival."
Snow then said, "Yes well...not everypony can just kill, it takes guts to end a life, let alone taking one away from somepony. But as long as I've got a reason, I have a free conciseness. Anyways, about that TK incident, I'm not sure if you shouldn't care about it though...I think you should care because according to my other sources, he has some weird and scary abilities, and like you were saying earlier about devils and gods, I'm guessing he's the devil, granted just a guess, but considering all of these things that he has done, chances are he's the devil or a demon or whatever part that you were talking about."
Then all of a sudden TF came from the hill and looked at the group and yelled his command, "All of you! Stop what you are doing and please come join me, our time here is coming close to its end!"
And so everyone in the group stopped talking and did what they were told to do. Sky, Mr. Brown, Pink, and Snow simply walked towards TF towards the hill while Blacky and Star Glitter put their bombs that they were working on down in the cart and quickly hoped out of it. Yup...remember they were making bombs?
Yeah....I know...but then again it's not like this is some sort of fan fiction story where things are mentioned in it and never brought up again...or about Rainbow Dash fucking a cactus and enjoying the ride. That or someone shipping characters and what not and they believe he or she is a great author for doing it and some shit like that.
That and it's not like some weird guy is writing this because a terrorist is holding him hostage in his mother's basement while fucking a horsy in the mouth as the band Boston is anal raping the terrorists as a CD grows two pairs of legs and become a Jew.
Or hell, this isn't even a play of some kind written to spite someone as they are jerking with a Twinkie in the other hand and thinking about fucking the Twinkie and filling it up with cum and then force feeding it to some girl that he or she has locked in his or her basement.
Or this is not some Dunken Donut's restaurant where all the donuts are being fucked by some guy named Bob Rosenberg and at the end he cums all over the donut while some Dunken Donut Employees are dancing about how much they love fucking donuts and sing a song about it too.
And then they take whatever customers that they have hostage and force feed them the donuts that they jizzed on. And that is why you always go to a Krispie Kremes...because they don't fuck donuts over there...they rape them, because over at Dunken, they make sure they get the donut's consent first and that could take up to seven months because they have to get the lawyers involved and sign a lot of paperwork and it just ends up turning into some messed up S&M porn book that was originally fan fiction to vampires that glittered in the sunlight. With Krispie Kremes...they rape the donuts so you can get your food fast. Or even better yet, this isn't some sexist story about on why guys don't want to ask for directions.
It has nothing to deal with losing masculinity at all, us guys just don't want to end up like Alan Wake where you go to ask for directions and then all of a sudden a creepy old lady in black shows up behind you and tells you to go to a cabin that'll kidnap your wife and erase a week from your life that you could never remember and then have to go on a big adventure and you end up sacrificing yourself in the end. Uh guys know that if we ask for directions, that is what is going to happen.
Every time you ask for directions, Barbara Jagger is going to be there behind you and always wanting to direct you to a cabin somewhere in the Northwest...it always happens every time damn it! Anyways, this isn't any of those things that I just mentioned...so shut up Cow Tippers...take that to hell with you when you're burning on a pile of hot rocks with a pitchfork up your ass while wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm with stupid."
Anyways, aside from that, the ponies were walking towards TF, and as they were going to him, it was early dawn, you could see the signs of the sun being about to be risen in the distance by Celestia.
In a way, the scenery was beautiful, especially when standing upon the little hill that wasn't too tall, but not too short. Once they were at TF's side, three on each side, they were all looking out to the distance with TF being in the middle. Everyone was silent, awaiting for what orders came next from TF's mouth.
Soon, TF said to his group, "Look out there...far into the distance my friends. See what I see and look at the castle that holds the two sisters of Equestria, there you will find a sign that it is time to start doing what were are here to do."
And so all the ponies, including TF looked deeply into the distance. They didn't have any binoculars, so it was a bit hard for them to see, but they soon squinted and it helped them a little bit. Within a few seconds later while trying to focus on the castle, the ponies finally saw it.
And what they saw...was the mess that TK and I caused. You know, the one where the monster destroyed the thirteenth, twelfth, and pretty much the eleventh floor along with broken glass in a lot of places. Well, they saw all of that, but not TK of course, well not yet that is, but instead they saw guards running all over the place while the two sisters were outside, wondering and questioning other ponies as to what happened so they could try their best to piece the puzzle together that dumbfounded before them.
Soon Sky spoke up and asked TF, "What is going on over there?"
TF then said, "That is the work of Knight and his friend. He has caused all of this mess, for what I am not sure, but he has caused all of this damage. And Knight is the one that we are after."
Snow then said, "Just two ponies caused all of this? This...Knight that we are after...I'm assuming he's a dangerous threat?"
TF then said, while not looking into their eyes, so you know....you can tell he's a villain since he's so rude to not look at others in the eyes while talking.
But anyways, he then said to Snow, "Well...you could say that from a mental standpoint, but in some cases, he could be dangerous...especially to himself. Aside from that he is sometimes harmless."
Sky then asked, "Then why are we after him then? You know...since he's harmless."
TF then said, "Because...I need him dead of course...he may not be a villain of sorts, but he does need to be killed...that is why I asked for killers to help. Well...aside from you Sky, you volunteered despite lack of experience, but I appreciate your ambition though."
Blacky then said, "Told you Sky...but what about the other one TF? The other pony that is with Knight? Do we have to worry about him coming after us?"
TF then responded with, "No...not at all Blacky. We will be just fine, he'll leave once they find a way to escape....besides, he's my problem...a personal problem that is and I will not require your assistance to finish him off. But with Knight...I do need your cooperation."
Soon everyone was quite once more and continued to look at the castle as the sun slowly rose in the distance, for Celestia had a duty to keep up that is. And then TF started to look through his binoculars once more and kept looking at the window at one of the top floors. And soon he saw the glass brake and soon he saw us...TK and I that is.
Then he gave the binoculars to Blacky and said while doing so, "There they are, at the top of the caste with the broken glass. Pass the binoculars around so all of you can get a good look at your target."
Blackly took the first look at them. He has seen TK's devilish looks along with me and my nice little black cowboy hat that was not racist with my satchel on.
Blacky then asked, "So I'm assuming the one in the black armor with a hint of dark red on it is Knight while the other one is This friend?"
TF then said, "No...it's the other way around my friend."
Blacky then took a second look and then said, "Well he doesn't seem so though to me. I could kill him in ten seconds flat."
Blacky then passed the binoculars to Snow and Snow then took the second look at the target, which was me of course, and then said, "I could just use my rifle right now and take him out in a few seconds if you want me to do so TF. It isn't that hard of a shot to pull off. In fact I've pulled off even longer shots then this. We could make it easier on ourselves and end this right now, along with taking out the black one out as well and we don't have go and hunt them down."
TF then said, "Yes...I realize that, but I would prefer to hunt him down though. In a way it is personal...and besides...I wouldn't underestimate his friend right next to him. He won't go down with a simple sniper shot to the head...not even an army could take him down. In fact...I'm sure he can slaughter an entire planet filled with species of various designs all in one night if he wanted to do so. Trust me, I've seen what he is capable of and I wouldn't try to shoot and kill Knight right this moment with his friend right next to him, or else he'll kill us all for sure and...well I won't say what he will do after we're dead..."
Sky then said as he was being passed the binoculars, "What's worse than death?"
TF then said, "Trust me...you do not want to know for your fragile mind cannot take it."
Sky looked through the binoculars and saw me and then passed them on to Star Glitter and then asked TF, "So...we have to...kill him?..."
TF then gave a little sigh and said to Sky, "Yes Sky...you have to do so. Or at least attempt to do so, but don't worry...you'll live...that I can assure...in fact all of you will live no matter what, so do not worry."
Star saw her target but didn't say a word, so she then passed it on to Mr. Brown and he took a good look, but he did say a word or two.
Mr. Brown sad in reaction of seeing me or he first time, "That stallion right there looks like a faggot with that hat on his head."
He then started to make some smacking noises with his mouth. However he was starting to take too long with the binoculars, as in a few seconds too long since I wasn't there for that long and by then TK had left and I was just looking around to find a way to get off the roof.
So his sister, Pink then said, "Hurry up you dumb mother fucker! You hogging it up!"
Mr. Brown then put the binoculars down and then said, "Will you fucking wait your turn you fucking annoying nagging bitch!"
Pink then said, "Oh I know you didn't just say that to my face you fucking..."
TF then broke the two up and said, "Relax you two...he just left, so we have to hurry up before it is too late. Blacky, go get at least three bombs from the cart and bring it over here to the tracks below. Sky, go get the wielder will you for me please? Thank you."
Pink then looked at Mr. Brown and she then said, "You fucking hogger..."
Pink then proceeded to hit her brother on the head a little hard as she then moved back to the wagon while Mr. Brown then said, "Bitch..."
So, Blacky and Sky then went back to the cart to grab the bombs and the wielder. When they both got to the cart, Blacky went first and hopped into the cart and then proceeded to use his mouth and took three small, but deadly sized bombs and put in a bag that was right next to the bombs.
Now if you might be wondering what a bag was doing there...well you know you fucking Cow Tippers, I can't fucking explain every little detail to you. I mean I can already tell you what you're saying in your head right now, That I'm a huge doucebag and I should go work at a McDonalds...well news flash...by the time you read this I will have burned all of the McDonalds...because it's the future and shit...and besides McDonalds sucks so take that and shit and shove it up your asshole.
And besides...you and your Cow Tipper ways of thinking are so predictable...I mean I can tell when you're going to have to go to the bathroom...in about...thirty minutes from now. Yeah...that's right...just thinking about it makes you want to go to the bathroom...you dirty fucking Cow Tipper you. Yeah...you either need to go and take a nasty shit or a clean pee...yeah...that's what I thought you fucking Cow Tipper...you'll always be predicable...you make me sick. In fact....you're the scum of the Earth.
No...I take that back...you're the scum of all of the universes that ever existed. Yes...including the one that I am in right now at this very moment that you have never stepped a foot in at all...you're the scum of the Earth Cow Tippers. Although I suppose by now you're tired of me saying the word Cow Tipper and wondering if I'm going to call your kind any other insult or name or whatever...right?
Nope...that's your official name...Cow Tippers. In fact, real quick let's get a quick lesson on...the Cow Tippers.......duh duh duh......anyways. The first Cow Tipper was born on September 11th...1666 Somewhere in Germany...and part Russia as well, don't ask me how...it's just the mysterious Cow Tipper ways. And by the way...many of the Cow Tippers seems to come from Germany and Russia, but it can come from anywhere in the world though.
Well, the first Cow Tipper was named...Charlie...and he was an asshole...and soon died of AIDs...but he did leave an impact on many future Cow Tippers. Many artsy type critics and assholes along with Social Justice Warriors or Nazis or Jews or red commie sons of bitches and whatever...soon joined in the religion of Charlie, where they worshipped him in the Official Cow Tipper church that is in somewhere the Middle East, so basically the Cow Tippers homeland is in the Middle East, where everyone goes to die at, especially if it's for religious purposes.
That and for some weird reason all religions somehow start in the Middle East because people see Jesus when they are in the Sahara Desert you know...you know you start to hear voices about telling you to start a religion when you're in the desert. The voices...they never stop. And Jesus just stalks while you're in the desert too.
I mean sure you might question if that's really Jesus, but eventually you start to go crazy and assume it's real. And so...The Cow Tippers have lived on ever since and continues to be a huge cancer cell in Humanity's asshole...the end...well what did you expect...a lengthy history lesson?
They're fucking Cow Tippers...what did you expect...they're assholes, there's not much to really say about them other than to bargain with them for some Jews or something like that...or to call them out ahead of time since...you know what I'm talking about Cow Tippers...'this book will be sent to Earth sometime in the future.'
So...I'm just calling you out in the far future from the moment that I'm writing this because...I just can...
Anyways, as I was saying, Blacky then proceeded to grab a second bomb and put in the bag that was brown and was made of cotton that may or may not have been picked by a black guy pony...or in this case a zebra and was whipped too many times because he didn't get his eight hours of rest so he was a little cranky and tried to start a revolution like the Illegal Mexicans do all the time at the factories that they work at...but only because they aren't getting paid enough...they're only getting paid in a penny, but instead they demand two pennies...it's actually beautiful really...they're fighting for the American Dream...god speed Illegal Mexicans...god speed...whatever that means.
That and they were more than likely being whipped and getting the whip crack just as much as Johnny from John Test whips the blacks. which...I believe was forty four thousand and six hundred whip cracks that he did. In other words, Johnny Test whipped Niggas about forty five thousand times every 3.5 second over the course of nine years for his Kentucky Fried Blacks...or slaves.
Anyways, Blacky had placed the second bomb right next to the first bomb that he placed in the bag a few seconds earlier. And finally, Blacky grabbed the third bomb, the last bomb that he needed, and placed in on the top between the first and seconds bombs that he placed their earlier...there's your details Cow Tippers. Anyways, there were plenty of bombs that were left in the cart, so there was plenty left to go around if they ever needed.
So Blacky then proceeded to take his hooves and kind of closed the bag and grabbed it by his mouth so he could carry it to TF and shit...you know what I mean. And so Blacky then made sure he had a firm grip with his teeth and then hopped off the cart so Sky could get what he needed and move on with life as Blacky was carrying it to TF.
And to make sure no Cow Tippers out there bitch or complain, let's go over some even more boring details as to what Blacky did to get from one end to the other...because they can't have someone walk a few feet without a five thousand page essay on how they go to Point B from Point A...you know...Cow Tippers.
Anyways, Blacky then proceeded up the hill and then reached the peak. And as he did, he saw the sun slowly rising in the distance; it was a beautiful light glow in the sky and in a way a beautiful thing to capture in a picture and shit. And so, Blacky then headed down the hill and then landed on flat, solid, completely stable ground, which was pretty much dirt...but hey what do you expect...it's near train tracks and shit.
Anyways, Blacky continued to carry the brown, cotton bag that a black guy pony possibly died over...well maybe a few hundred, and placed it near TF who was waiting while standing on the train track. And so, TF said, "Thank you," and Blacky simply walked away. And so TF opened the bag, put his right hoof inside the bag and grabbed the first bomb...or in this case the third bomb that Blacky picked out back at the cart.
TF proceeded to place the first bomb, that would explode with a detonator that was back at the cart, and placed it in the middle of the track. Not near the rails, the side , or whatever...it was in the middle of the track, and since it was small enough, it wouldn't get hit by the train.
And so TF placed the bomb in the middle of the train tracks...and that's about it for the first bomb considering there's not much else to say about that...
Sorry Cow Tippers, looks like you're going to have look for details somewhere else...or better yet just use your fucking imagination, heard it hasn't been used since you were a child and your father said, "Fuck You!" right to your face and abused you as a child, so you didn't realize that you had to quit playing imagination, get a life, get an education, plan your college degree, and get a job so you could pay the bills...all while in Kindergarten class as they made you take entrance exams that required five MLA format essays written in Shakespearian words with all of your works cited on a separate piece of paper along with all five essays being exactly, no more or no less, three hundred pages long while also making sure one of those essays was an APA essay that was about psychology, along with knowing every scientific theory in existence and of course...know about the political structure of your government, the insides and out and shit like that along with your opinion on how the country should run, all with details and facts to support your answer.
You...you know what I'm talking about...Cow Tippers...and I don't care if that was too long of a sentence, it is what it is...and that is truth.
Anyways, TF went ahead and grabbed the second bomb, and went ahead and put it in the middle of the train tracks like the last one, but this time he placed it exactly, well not exactly, but pretty eleven inches apart from the first bomb. And TF then proceeded to take out the last bomb and put it once again eleven inches from the last bomb he put down from earlier, which was the second bomb, and then TF threw the bag aside, pretty much littering the environment as he didn't care what happened to the bag, despite hundreds of black guy ponies that had worked and picked cotton in the hot sun probably to make that brown cotton bag. And TF just...threw it all away...what a tragedy...or something like that.
Anyways, TF was then awaiting his wielder that he had asked Sky to do a while ago. Now let's get back to Sky since I'm sure you Cow Tippers would have demanded me to show the details about Blacky handing TF the bombs that he asked for...because you know...it is what it is...which is Cow Tippers. Anyways, as Blacky was taking the bombs to TF, Sky went ahead and jumped on to the cart and searched for the wielder that TF had asked.
Sky didn't know that there was a wielder on the cart, but in this universe before the guns came into existence, there was of course existed wielders so Sky was familiar as to what TF was talking about, however...he wasn't an expert on wielders and he saw many kinds of wielders and looked confused as to what TF had wanted. And so Sky stood there and looked confused, trying to think the best one to take to TF.
However a minute had passed since TF has placed the bomb and of course time was running out so TF then said out loud, "Any day now Sky! We're running on time here!"
Sky then looked worried because he didn't want to mess up, especially embarrass himself in front of the others, you know since they were more of a badass then he was, pretty much.
And so he then yelled back, "Yeah...uhhh....I'm not sure which wielder that you're asking for! Which one do you need!?"
TF then yelled back, "The Cutting torch one Sky!"
Sky looked back at the many wielders, but still he was confused. So Sky then said, "Which one is the Cutting Torch one!?"
TF then said, "It looks like the Wielding torch one, but instead of two pipes, there is three!"
Sky looked back and still remained confused. So Sky yelled once more back at TF and said, "I'm still confused as to which one is which!"
TF then said, "Oh for the love of...Blacky, can you help out poor Sky!?"
Blacky then said, "Already on it boss!"
Blacky then went back to the cart and got on and lightly pushed Sky to the side. He then looked at the abundance of wielders that TF had and then pointed to the one that TF asked for. The Cutting Torch that TF was referring to had three pipes that TF had described to Sky earlier, and it had a yellow color added to the torch and shit like that.
You know...the wielder, in this case the cutting torch, was yellow...ah whatever...you Cow Tippers just don't understand how the world works. Well, Sky saw what Blacky was pointing at, so he then grabbed it by the handle with his mouth along with it being connected to a tank...you know for the gas and shit.
Sky looked at it with worry in his eyes and then back at Blacky, to which case Blacky gave a low sigh and then said as he was disconnecting the torch to the tank of gas...and oxygen as well, "Go take the thing...the nozzle to TF, I've got the tank."
So Sky then was free to take the hose...the nozzle...whatever...wherever he needed to do...and sadly it wasn't up his ass. Anyways, he then took it to TF, in which case TF looked at him as he was placing the nozzle on the ground with no tank connected to it. But then TF saw that Blacky was rolling the tanks down to the ground somehow without it rolling down the hill very fast.
Blacky then went ahead and placed the tanks near TF and gave a slight nod to the two and then left both TF and Sky to do whatever.
Sky was then about to leave when TF then asked, "Sky...will stay here with me...in case I need any assistance that is?"
Sky then said in a friendly tone, "Sure, whatever I can do to help out...I would want to pull my own weight in this group and stuff you know?"
TF then said, "Yes...well...thanks for helping out us much as you did."
And so TF went ahead and started to connect the nozzle to the tanks and shit like that since you know...the torch does need a source for the fuel and everything.
As TF was fixing up the cutting torch, Sky asked TF, "Uhhh...can I ask why did you need bombs? Also what are you going to do with that wielder?"
TF then said, "Well first off, technically it's not a weirder, but it is within that group. Secondly, the bomb will be used to blow up the front end of the train, the engine mostly and will more than lightly cause chaos when it comes to the train derailing and causing a wreckage and what not."
Sky then looked a little surprised with his eyes, since you know...it was a ski mask and all.
Sky then said with a sound of worry in his voice, "You're going to blow up a train!? What about the other ponies on that..."
TF then cut him off and then told him, "Relax, it's the dawn of the day...no ponies are going to be using the train just yet. Every pony here are just about to wake up, or may have already awoken due to the commotion over at the castle, but regardless, I've noticed that barely anypony, if not none at all rides the train at the break of dawn with the exception of the conductor and maybe someone to check the tickets just in case. And if you are lucky enough in the morning, somepony will then attend to the food cart, although most of the time it's just the conductor on board. So really all I'm counting on who is going to be on board is the train conductor and Knight. Anypony else will be somewhere else...far from the wreckage."
Sky then looked relived and gave a happy sounded sigh in his voice.
He then said to TF, "Wow...you're really a nice guy TF. Even more than what I had thought about you. You considered everything and made sure no other pony necessary would get hurt. Even though it's still bad the conductor will be on board. But...still I guess."
TF then said to himself, while slightly looking towards the ground, "Yes...well...I do what I have to do. And besides, it earns your TRUST...doesn't it Sky...so you can trust me that I'm not the bad guy here while Knight is."
Sky then said, "Why yes...yes it does. Granted even if you were going to blow up a train filled with other ponies on it, I would still stick with you and the others since I am in it for the long run...I just would have massive amount of guilt is all."
TF then said, "Well now you will not have to have any guilt...well with the exception of the train conductor of course..."
Sky then looked a little sad and then said, "Oh yeah...that is true...now you're already starting to make me feel guilty about doing this."
TF then said, "Well no worries, you can blame me for it since it was my plan after all and so you can put the blood in my hands that way."
Sky then looked a little confused and then asked, "What are...hands?"
TF then had a bit of wide eyes, he knew that he had messed up his pronouns. Or maybe it isn't pronouns, whatever...you get the point, he messed up because he was trying to...blend in with the others. I mean really that is the only reason why he is saying the word anypony or something like that instead of anyone.
However, TF then said to not lose Sky's trust and to break his illusion, "Nothing...it's just a new thing that I'm coming up with is all."
Sky then said, "So you've got a new invention in the works?"
TF then said, "You could say that...and trust me...it's going to change this world for the better my dear friend."
Sky then thought for a while and thought up another question for him to ask, even though the other question wasn't answered...yet..."So...is it true what they say about you TF...that you invented guns?"
TF then had a little smile form on his face, but also felt a little disappointed at the same time and he then said, "Yes my friend...I did invent the gun. It is such a great piece of equipment. Just imagine...this entire country of Equestria, everypony in it having and selling guns. It will make this world a better...no...not better...but it will set ponies in a start of evolution. It will...evolve the ponies...for the better of course. No longer will you have to rely on magical spell or bows and arrows or using your hooves that is in battles or wars or simple fights in the street. Now...all you need is a gun, all will be an easy path for you to follow in order to win."
Sky then said, "Well...sure...if you say so...but to be honest with you...I'm kind of worried. It feel unnatural to have one. Wouldn't it be better if we just kept using our magic and evolve from there?"
TF then said, "Sky...my friend, you're not seeing it clearly here. Guns are a good thing. It will bring change yes, but with every new change, you will feel odd about it and seeing things being done through not how the old ways were done. But once you accept the change in your heart and in your mind, it will be like if you never had any magic at all and it has always just been the guns that existed. Soon, future generations won't even know what magic is anymore, there might no longer be a need for magic to exist, but in truth...that is only evolution. You might be losing something, which is magic, but you'll be trading it for something even better for survival Sky, along with everypony around you. You will become better ponies and lead better lives. In fact, guns will bring peace one day...that's right Sky...one of these days...and I do believe it so Sky...that these guns will bring peace among many leaders and kings and queens and such. It will bring all the countries together and all we have to fear is those that try and take it away from you and others. In other words Sky...have no fear...TF is here. TF is here to lead you in a direction that you know you want to go to, and so...I will lead you in that direction. And by the end of it...you'll be wondering to yourselves along with every other pony, 'What did we do... ...to deserve this?"
Sky then looked a little weird and then said, "Uhh...ok then....whatever you say boss. If you say that is evolution."
TF then said, "Yes Sky...that is evolution...at least in these terms that is. And do not call me boss Sky...call me your friend."
Sky then said with a little smile forming on his face, "Sure...friend. So...you really think guns will bring a new change for the better?"
TF then said to Sky, "Yes Sky, or else I wouldn't gone through making these things. I would not have made anything that would hurt pony kind. Oh no, I could never forgive myself if I had done that. That would be just simply awful and, if to say it would end all of pony kind...well that would make me the villain here, in which case I would try and grab a front row seat as this world burns to ashes and every other pony perishes from these lands completely. And, assuming that I was the Villain here, I would also say that even though you think you all would be safe in your little heaven paradise in the beyond here on this world...assuming there is one sine I am a skeptic after all...I would burn that down too to the ground...and all would suffer.
'But of course that is a what if situation...is it not? I only say this because I know you have your worries, but do not FEAR for I am here. Let me lead your light, your path, your future Sky. I am here to work for the better of all ponies. I am here, right now as a friend, a friend that you can speak to and ask any question at all. Just as long as you can help me out with whatever I need, and together, we can make this world a better place.
'I know it might sound a bit weird with these words that are coming out of my mouth, so let me say this, I swear on my mother's grave that I am your friend Sky, that I will lead you on a path that will give you so much and you shall not have to give anything in return. I swear that I am here for the better, that I will guide you in the rest of pony kind in the right direction Sky, that we are the good guys here while Knight is the bad one. I swear it Sky."
TF had said this while raising his hoof in the sky, along with stopping what he was doing on the whole cutting torch thing.
Anyways, Sky then looked at him weird and then said, "Are you telling the hundred percent truth TF?"
TF then said, "I swear Sky...you can trust a fellow pony...can't you?"
Sky then said, "Sure..sure I can. Alright then...I believe you TF."
TF then said with a smile, "Wonderful."
Now, after he said that, in his head, TF then said, 'Fools. All of them are fools. They have no idea what they are walking into. They think that these guns are for the better...bullshit. I am simply leading them to the slaughterhouse....and I'll watch Equestria burn to the ground as I make Knight watch what he loves dies in front of him as I have TK's head on a stake. All will burn...all will burn...but that will come in good time.
'For now...I must concentrate on keeping up the illusion, making it look like I'm one of them and that I'm trying to help them. But in truth, they don't understand the pain that I have had...to be forgotten and thrown aside in a mind for ten long years. Left to rot...no...Knight is the bad guy here...but everyone else...they can all burn for all I care. Let their souls burn as they are forever tortured in the deep bowls of Hell. Let them destroy themselves as I send an invasive spices towards their way...guns that is...and they will all burn as something is in their homeland that is not supposed to be there at all. And all that dare stand in my way shall perish along with everyone else here.
'And as for this group of ponies...I hope they can perform well with what I am about to give them. Hopefully they can survive long enough, but in the end all I'm doing is leading them to the slaughter.
'All I need to do is not make the same mistake that others have done throughout history, not making my act believable. I am playing the wolf part here, so I must act in disguise and kill these sheep when the time is right. And thankfully, IT has told me how to act like one...I just need to make sure that I don't slip up again. Granted I can reveal my true nature...but only when the time is right...the only one that knows that the Wolf is in the hen house though is Star Glitter. Granted she knows to keep herself silent...but I cannot trust her...besides...IT told me that she must never be trusted with my operation. And what a shame too...she seemed kind of nice to have around.
'Oh well, all in good time...all will burn...but...I do feel it in my heart to perhaps spare them. Especially Sky since he reminds me of a certain someone...someone from long ago. Yes...I will spare them in the end, I'll even make sure they stay by my side and work with me.'
TF then finally said, out loud and not in his head this time to Sky, "So...I have gained your trust Sky?"
Sky then said with his smile still being there and all, "Yes TF...yes you did...and what a relief too, I started to have my doubts about you and who you were, but knowing that your intentions are for the good, well I can trust you. Although I'm still curious though...where did you come from TF?"
TF then looked a bit surprised by that question, as he didn't expect it to come up in a conversation, but was thankfully prepared.
TF then asked however, "Why do you ask my dear friend Sky?"
Sky then said, "Well...it's just that...well you seem...weird and odd. Mysterious really. It's just that...you just came out of nowhere and I would like to know where you came from and stuff. Like where you were born or something at least."
TF then said to Sky, "Well, I can assure you that my origins are not of importance right now, but I suppose I could tell you a little something. You see Sky, I didn't have much of a great life, especially at birth. As I recall my days of being a little colt, my family was poor and abused me. In fact the only place where I could find comfort was outside with all the animals were at as some did look friendly. Granted not even they liked me.
'I was all alone....but then one day I met a young friend, somepony just like my age...and his name was Knight. He was such a good friend...we would play and laugh until the day was gone. We would make up adventures together and play pretend. In the outside, we were just two kids playing all alone in this big open world, but in our minds, we were like...gods. We made up stories and adventures, played games and what not.
'But, as the years passed, we slowly grew apart. One day...he just left...without a single word or a goodbye. And the thing is I hate goodbyes...but...a goodbye would have been nice though. I had no idea what had happened to him, I thought he might have gotten hurt or worse...death. But, I was relieved that day to find out that he was fine...he was just gone is all. But I kept my hopes up and wondered if one day he would return...but that day never came though...he just...never came back.
'I waited and waited, but yet there was only silence. And soon my old folks died out due to old age and the house that was a dump that I was born in was slowly fading away...so I had to move, but with no one to help me and nowhere to go...I was all alone in this big open world. But soon I found myself living in the wasteland...the only place that I could call home...but I wasn't always alone...I came across other "Friends" of Knight that were also too forgotten...and soon we forged a bond so we could get revenge against the one friend that had forgotten us. Granted I know what you're going to say. Maybe he had a good reason of not getting into contact with me. But trust me, he intentionally abandoned us all.
'Anyways, weal forged bond and waited for Knight, thinking we would find him one day. However, once again he never showed up...not until ten years later since the last time that I saw him he finally showed up...with new friends of course. However, the worst part is that he had a smile on his face, wanting to get together and form a group of some kind...the nerve of him. I wonder how he could look at himself in the mirror every day...but the thing is...he never does look in the mirror...so he has no idea that he's the monster at all. And the thing is...he wanted to be friends again...so we fought back and a little war ensured...but by the end of it all...all that was made, the bonds of the other friends that were forgotten were killed and I remained what is left of Knight's old friendships.
'Granted Knight's new friend, that pony in black you saw, tried to kill me, but yet Knight insisted on him not doing so...I wonder why he doesn't have the guts to finish me off...he already killed all that were my friends and stabbed a knife in my heart that used to be our friendship. But yet...he left me alive...I do not know why he did such a thing...but to me he made a big mistake of keeping me alive. So I vowed that one day I will get him...I will kill him so no other pony here will have to suffer from his back stabbing friendships. Oh Knight is a backstabber alright...he will turn on you if he finds something more beneficial than you are ever worth to him. And so...after that incident...I walked away, all alone...but yet I had to survive somehow...so I kept moving.
'And then one day, a little idea popped into my head and I then had the great idea of making the gun here, it could change lives and such and I'm sure you know the rest. Granted it isn't quite mainstream yet, but it'll be one day...that's for sure. And now I am here, awaiting to get my revenge on Knight for what he did to me and many others...but only in good time...I prefer to make him suffer and not to rush it all.
'I know it sounds a little evil of me to do such a thing...but when you're forgotten and stabbed in the back by him and left to rot for ten whole years...you would do the same thing. Oh...and one little thing that I forgot about my origins...after what happened with Knight and trying to find him several occasions in the past, I did come across a little dark friend in the Everfree Forest. I'm not going to give much details, but let's just say he has been growing on me ever since that day that I visited the Everfree Forest...in fact...he followed me where ever I went to as well."
Sky then paused for a moment, just pure silence for a few seconds until Sky finally spoke up and said, "Wow...I never knew that TF. Was it really that bad with you and Knight?"
TF then said to Sky, "Yes Sky...yes it really was...it pains my soul to even think about it all. But do not worry about me...we have a job here to do and that is final. Speaking of which...I am aware that you will need help on this little trip to hunt Knight down...so I can offer you words of wisdom while on the go, give you some advice on what to do and think while on the this trip. And if you end up killing something and feeling shaky about it all since I am aware that you are the weak one in this group, I can comfort you in your time of need...we are friends after all. Aside from that, I can also help you fight back and make you a stronger pony...especially for your girl back home."
Sky then said with a little smile on his face, "Sure...thanks TF."
TF then said, "Yes...well I should get back to work on this cutting torch, we have very little time until the train comes by."
And so TF then went back to fixing up the thing that he was working on before he was interrupted by Sky and his questions. However Sky then looked at the tank of gas and shit and then finally realized that the other question about what TF was planning on doing with the bombs and the tank of gas that he asked earlier wasn't answered.
So Sky then finally said to TF, "So uhh...kind of forgot to ask you this or you forgot to answer my earlier question, but...what are you planning on using the cutting torch for if you're just going to blow up the front of the train?"
TF then said, "Yes well...of course the bombs will derail the train, but I'm just doing this for insurance. You see you could also derail a train if the rails are not in the place it should be, in other words if the wheels are not on the rails...the train will derail and this is only for insurance in case any of my predictions go wrong.
'So what I'm doing is cutting a few pieces of the rail off by using the cutting torch and then slightly moving it off track so that the train can then derail. I will move exactly three pieces off the track and then once we retreat to the hill, you can all see the chaos that will unfold before your very eyes. It will be loud, it will be hot, but it will keep you awake at night though. Possibly won't even able to get it out of your head even."
Sky then said, "Ok then...so...could you tell me how this cutting torch is going work...as in how it works that is?"
TF then said, "Well there is a lot of technical words, so I'll try and put it in simple terms for you. First I heat up the metal until it turns to a cherry red and once it gets heated enough to a certain point. Once that happens, I then apply the oxygen that will then continue to cut the metal along with adding even more heat; the metal will then slowly melt away and then breaking the rails into pieces. It can be somewhat of a mess, but should not be a problem though."
TF then finally looked up and had the nozzle in his right hoof and was ready to use the cutting torch...or wielder...whatever the fuck you want to call the damn thing.
TF then brought the tanks and what not closer to the rails and then was about to start the cutting process until Sky finally asked, "Uhh...TF...isn't that dangerous without using protective gear? I mean...wouldn't it be safer to wear at least something...like at least a pair of goggles to protect your eyes or something...I mean it is dangerous what you're doing and stuff."
TF then said with a little smirk on his face, "My dear friend Sky...I am aware of the dangers of using this thing, but to tell you the truth, I don't really care. And besides, I live for danger and I am used to it after all. You might want to stand back though just in case...trust me...I'll be fine."
Sky then took a few steps back, and of course TF saw this and he then looked down back at the rails. Then TF got started with the cutting. Fire shot out of nozzle and TF went straight to work aiming at the rails. It took a few seconds, but eventually the rails started to look red enough to which TF then applied the oxygen blast part of the thing and soon after a few more seconds, the metal started to show that it was coming loose.
Eventually the rails then broke, but that was only one small part that TF had to do. TF then moved the tank and nozzle and shit a few feet up north from where he started and shit and repeated the same process. What? Well I'm not going to repeat the same damn thing over and over again. I mean I sort of described the process to you for the first part. I mean it would be redundant if I did describe over and over and over again.
In a way that would be boring...so don't look at me like that Cow Tippers...you hear me? I'm only doing what I think is best...and for your eyes of course, but you get the point. And what's best for your eyes is to be sitting very close to the TV.
That way your eyes get eye cancer and you slowly want to kill yourself because only in that moment you realize that you entire life as an utter lie and that the holocaust was nothing but crippling depression. Anyways, TF was then finally broke a straight piece of the rails off that was a few feet long and then he slightly moved it away from the tracks.
Not very slightly, but slightly enough to where the wheels wouldn't touch the rails and so the train will then derail and shit like that. However this was only his first piece. So TF then moved the tanks and shit over to the other side of the track and repeated the same process, but only this time he made it a little bit shorter than his first piece of rails that he broke off that night. And then finally, TF moved the tanks and what not away from where the bombs were and the broken pieces and started to work on more pieces of the rails to break off at, this time creating even a smaller piece to break off.
And soon, he was finished. And yes, I didn't go into those details because...you know why you fucking Cow Tippers. I mean that would be just boring...nothing exciting happened...the only one that would get off to that by jacking off to it would be Quentin Tarantino he loves doing that kind of shit...I mean he thinks that's porn to him.
He even jacks off to it on a nightly bases too while rubbing his cock up and down while also forcing Samuel L. Jackson to watch. But don't worry...he's black so it doesn't matter.
And so...once that was finished...TF finally said as he stopped the entire thing, "Well...everything is now ready for everything to happen. If I had to guess...we have about five minutes to spare. So go ahead and get back with the rest Sky."
Sky then asked, "Well...aren't you going to need help getting those tanks back up the hill?"
TF then said, "No...I will need no assistance for doing that. In fact, I won't be doing that at all."
Sky then looked a little confused and then asked TF, "Wait...what do you mean?"
TF then said to Sky, "I'm just going to put this in front of the bombs, you know...add a little more explosion since the tanks are filled with oxygen and I'm sure you know this stuff can be flammable as much as I do. So move now, up the hill with the others."
So Sky then climbed the little hill and joined with the others who were just talking about random and uninteresting shit. With TF, he then went ahead and pushed the tanks, without even deciding to take the nozzle with him, and put it on the train tracks so when the train came, and the bombs blew up, it could then also explode that too...it's like a little Michael Bay's wet dream he has every night. Anyways, once that was done, everything was done and prepared for my arrival...and trust me it was a bitch.
So once TF had everything finished, he then looked around himself and silently said to himself under his breath, "I'm ready to see what you can do now Knight...I am ready to see what you have in store for these little ponies."
And so TF then headed up back up the hill to join the others as well. Once he reached the peak, he stood there and awaited for the train's arrival. However, one of the ponies in the group, which was Snow, seemed a little curious as to why he was just standing there since there was no trains to be heard of in miles or something like that.
However, TF had given him a small trigger earlier. Snow asked TF, "Uh...sir...why are you just standing there? I thought it wasn't time yet?"
TF then said, "Quiet Snow...just wait there until I tell you to press the trigger, in which case then you may come up and see the destruction that will unfold here in a few minutes."
Snow then said, "Well...alright then boss...whatever you say..."
And so TF waited and waited...but my train finally arrived at the spot where we left off last time...kind of and shit like that...and once my train finally came...well you know what I said. I said while on the train, at least in my head, 'is that TF?'
Ok maybe I didn't say that exactly...but then again I'm not that good of a liar. And now that I mention it...I did write down that I did wonder if that was him...well of course that was him. Why did I write that down...I guess I'm too high while riding this phoenix...oh wait that's right...you Cow Tippers forgot about that didn't you...that I was riding a phoenix while writing my life story down.
I mean you Cow Tippers are so gullible...somehow...I don't know what I just said there, but you get the point that I'm trying to make here. That this thing happened all because of TF and shit, granted I wasn't exactly sure at the time why he was doing this...or why he was even chasing me there to begin with while I know for a fact that he would do it with TF around some shit like that...but oh well...the next that happened was...the train crashed. And maybe...just so I can piss off some Cow Tippers some more...I should leave that as a cliff hanger...well fuck that I'm not doing that. Anyways, The train finally crashed as the front of the train blew up with the bombs and shit and I was pushed forwards or was it backwards to the force of the explosion and derailing of the train...oh whatever...you get the point.
Well basically right before the train crashed, TF was on top of the hill, waiting for the right moment...and once the train was near the bombs, TF yelled out to Snow, "Do it now!"
And then of course the train derailed along with explosions and the cars just collided with the other trains. As this was happening, TF's group slowly climbed the hill once more and saw the destruction that was happening in front of them.
The cars collided and broke off from one another and some of the other cars exploded as well and wheels flying off the train. Some of the cars eventually broke off and flew atop of the other cars and went in front of the entire catastrophe and such. With me, I was lucky enough to be in a car that didn't explode and some shit like that, but there were broken glass everywhere there. I was being tossed and turned inside the car, hurting my back and some bones in my body that would eventually heal since I had a spell for that shit that I made up like...not long ago...that wasn't very important because I'm that lazy.
Well, then I landed on some broken glass at one point, but I couldn't concentrate on the physical pain that I was receiving as the noise was drowned out and all of the explosions because all I could hear was the sounds of cars eating other cars and metal hitting against metal while sounds that would have been awesome with sweet surround sound system in theaters or something like that. And for a moment, everything for me felt like time slowed down for a moment.
That everything felt like it was all in slow motion. And of course I just flew around in my car, but eventually the car that I was in eventually broke open and I kind of went out as I was being toss and turned and what not, and for a few seconds, I saw for a while of wreckage of train cars being destroyed and twisted.
But then somehow I went back into the car that I started from and landed in one of the seats perfectly, as if I was sitting down. And as I was sitting in one of the seats...like upwards or whatever it is when the train car is in a vertical position right side up and I'm sitting in one of the seats perfectly...I was knocked out by the whole thing. As I was out cold, the cars continued to cause chaos and fire erupted across the entire field of metal and glass that were broken into bits and pieces.
With TF's group, they saw the whole thing, but yet didn't look surprised aside from Sky that is, who was starting to feel bad for me even. However, TF then turned around and headed to the cart.
As he was doing so, he then said to the others, "Let's get going."
And so everyone started to follow TF's lead except for Blacky who continued to stand there for a few seconds more.
He then said softly to himself, "May God of mercy on his soul."
He then slowly shook his head with a facial expression on his face that said, 'damn...you're fucked...' and slowly walked away and soon got in the cart.
TF was right in the front seat to control where the group was heading. Blacky and Snow were pulling the cart while the rest were sitting in the back of the cart. And soon they headed off into the left direction, while I was left in the dust. Well that takes care of the flashback..now we can finally head into what happened next...isn't that exciting?
I mean all of this time it was just a flash back..a stupid little flashback that Cow Tippers would have been pissed if it wasn't there...so thank the Cow Tippers everybody!
Thank them for their selfishness of wanting an explanation as to what TF and his group did...I mean we could have simply started off with me in the train and shit...but you know...Cow Tippers came and fucked everything up...so if anything...blame it all on them. Point your finger at your nearest Cow Tippers and say, "Fuck You!"
That or say something that is polite and that is an insult and maybe challenge them to a pistol duel like do ten paces back or something and shit like that...or you know...just continue to read and shit... whatever...just saying.
BACK IN THE PRESENT:
And so we are back at present day. Big whoopee fucking doo. I mean it took a while to write this all down while doing it in all in one night. Which now that I think about it...it's kind of amazing...hell it's kind of amazing that I haven't run out of paper. It's like the Death Note, the rules says the it will continue to work until you run n out of paper, but yet it never runs out of paper...I mean I must have a magical journal here.
I mean it's not heavy or anything...why didn't I see this before? I mean here I am, on a phoenix, writing down my life's story and how I got to this point, all in one night, while on the run, well not really on the run but more or less in deep trouble with the two princesses of Equestria. Oh...it's quite amazing indeed...my friends...if I can call you that dear readers who cares enough to pick up this journal whenever I decide to send it to the future. Well...possibly not...you're possibly not my friend...in fact I hate you all. Well maybe...I don't know I just have to check in with my...doctor or something. Know what...what am I even talking about anymore these days...you know?
I'm like really old and shit and here I am, mumbling about some random shit...while what I should be doing is telling you all what happens next, which don't worry, it seems to me that we have infinite paper to spare, so I'll get there at some point to the end of this very strange tale of ponies and magic. At some point, I mean I did live a long...long...long fruitful love of bullshit...so I just have to take my time is all.
Oh well...you get the idea that I'm trying to get across here. Anyways, aside from that, I should continue...shouldn't I...well at least until I get a little off track, but you know...that's just how I am...that is the way of the Knight you see. That's how I do shit around here...either the Knight way or the high up your ass way.
And you do not want the second option either. It is very painful and involves a Toblerone. Well, it was present day, so goodie for you...no more flashbacks...yet...I mean...the only way I know this shit is through opening portals to look through to the past and I saw some shit. Anyways, it's the present day...well more or less present time, since the flashback was only a few hours before the accident, so it isn't present day...just present time. Anyways, it's present time, and I was in the car that was in a vertical position and all the seats were facing upwards.
The train was a mess, there was a little fire at the bottom of the train, so it could maybe or maybe not explode depending on if there was gas or not or something like that. Anyways, I then slowly awakened to where I was at. I was on the right side of the seat of the car, facing towards the sky...and boy was it a bit smoky considering with the explosions and shit filling the morning air.
I had a bit of a few scars and bruises on my head and such, but I wasn't hurt too badly. So I awakened up and then had wide eyes as to what had happened while being a little dazed and confused. I then realized finally that I was sitting in a position like if I was about to take off in a rocket ship and then sing the song Rocket Man because why not?
Well, I looked all around me and all I could smell was a burning scent along with seats all scratched up and such along with nothing but broken windows. I was just surprised that I didn't get any cuts from the broken pieces of glass that could have gotten me.
So I was looking around, could barely stand the stench of what was filling the air up in the car, and then I tried to get up, but when I did that, I finally remembered that I'm not in a human body, but more or less in a pony body, and so when I stood up, I lost my balance and almost fell to the bottom of the car, but at the very last second I used both of my hooves to grab a hold of the seat that I almost fell over on.
I also gave out a slight yell considering that I was about to fall, granted it wasn't that deep of a fall that I would have taken. I was only sitting in the middle rows and stuff and so nothing much to really say there other than I was halfway out of the car.
Once I held a firm grip to the seat that was red and made out of leather, I said to myself, "Oh shit! This is bad...this is really bad! What even happened!? Ohhhhh...my head kind of hurts...ok....can't complain now. I just need to concentrate on getting myself out of here and find some help. Cantorlot isn't that far away...hell...I can even ask help from Celestia and Luna...granted they would ask me what I was doing in Cantorlot tonight...especially since Celestia saw me and everything and may or may not speculate me that I was the one causing all the trouble at the castle.
'Oh who the fuck am I even kidding!? Of course she would suspect me...I mean I was the odd one out there after all...I just hope TK knows what he meant by cleaning up what we messed up. I hope he has something like a memory easer or some shit like that! Oh look at me...I'm talking to myself! Ah...who the fuck cares...it's just me and no one is watching or listening or...whatever. Hell, it's not like anyone is reading a book about me. Although I would question my own existence if that was the case. Now I just need to use my upper body strength and get the fuck out of here before this thing falls or explodes or some shit like that. So...let me just..."
I then tried to use my upper body strength by pulling myself up, but all I did was slightly move up and gave out a little grunt and I tried my hardest to pull myself up.
I then said to myself, "Oh...I really haven't been in this kind of situation in a long time...not since those old adventuring days of mine. I've forgotten how it felt to dangle on the edge of life and death. Ok...I just need to try even harder."
So I then tried even harder and pulled myself up onto the chair, in which case then I finally made it up and then gave a sigh of relief. I was standing, yes standing on my two back hooves...it was kind of hard to do so but that's beside the point.
The thing was that I was standing on the back of the red leather seat just to give those pesky Cow Tippers an idea how it all went down. And so I then looked towards my goal and that was the door to the car, and in front of me was seven more empty seats that I would have to climb up.
So I looked up and saw all of this and I then said to myself, "Oh fuck...this isn't going to be easy isn't it? well...better get started and hope that I don't die or whatever it is that may or may not happen."
So I then started to concentrate on my next target, which was the first red leather seat above me. So I did so and I then tried to jump up. However, I didn't make it, and to make matters worse at the time, after I landed back on the red leather seat that I was already standing on, the seat started to show signs of weakness and was ready to fall down to the bottom as gravity is a bitch sometimes.
So I knew right then and there that I couldn't mess up, that I may or may not have had a few more tries before the seat would collapse beneath my fee...or hooves...whatever you freaks want to call it, and I would fall and possibly break something. I mean keep in mind, I may have lived for a long time, in fact by this point it was starting look like 56,345 years old at the point due to me spending time in the outside of the universe so much and such. Not only to mention, sure I had that needle thing...you know that outside of the universe powers thing, the one thing that I always carry in my satchel, well at least one that is, in case I ever needed it.
And sure I could go years without eating a single thing and the only effect it would give me is pain in my stomach, but I wasn't invincible. No...some say that by just living so long and knowing so much could call me god, but I wasn't no god, that I can assure you. Sure, maybe sometime down the line I may have became one, but even so, all gods are is just a normal person or whatever with a lot of power.
Anyways, I then made sure to concentrate real hard on my next jump, and when I jumped, I caught on to the red leather seat above me, and once that happened, I then pulled myself up. Right when I finally got up to the first seat, the one that I was previously standing on fell and made a big sort of thump as I finished climbing.
Afterwards, I then looked down and had a look of worry in my eyes, and I then said to myself, "Shit...I better hope to god that I don't mess up...or else I might just end up dying here.
" So I then got back up and once again stood on my two back hooves and concentrated on my aim on the next seat above me, making this my second seat to climb up on. So I concentrated on making this a good decent jump like the last one and once more I made a successful grab for the seat and I made, this time without the seat underneath previously falling to the bottom of the wrecked car.
So I then did the same thing for the third seat and once again I made it. However, once I made it to the fourth seat, it started to pose a challenge for me because the fourth seat seemed a little loose. I knew that if I did make it, then I would have to get up fast without thinking to the fifth seat. So, I had to be quick about it since it didn't look like it would be able to hold my weight for very long.
I got up on my two hooves, concentrated on my aiming, and then I jumped as high as I could go, and I quickly grabbed the edge of the seat and got on my back two hooves. As I was doing so, I could feel the seat beneath me giving out and I could hear it too, as a decently loud squeak noise could be heard as the bolts were breaking apart from what it used to be attached to.
So I then quickly got on to my two back hooves and jumped, and just in time too, because the seat fell to the ground along with hitting the other seat that I passed up and used to climb way to the top and making those seats fall too. I then took a few seconds to catch my breath and I then looked up. I could see that I wasn't very far away from being free from the car. I had only two more seats to climb up to, so I then looked up and started to concentrate on my aim...however it didn't work out as I had planned as I started to see the seat above was about to fall, and no, it couldn't hold my weight.
In other words a decently sized red leather train seat was about to crush my head, so I quickly turned my head to the other side to see the other set of seats still intact and looked like it could hold my weight. So I quickly jumped to the other row of seats, which wasn't that big of a jump, and as I did, the seat that was about crush my skull finally fell and I was lucky that I only had a few seconds to spare.
However I wasn't out of the woods yet, as the seat that I was standing on was about to fall as well, along with the final seat above me, so I made one final quick move and jumped up without even caring if I did it right or not and got up on to the seventh and final red leather seat. In which case I then proceeded quickly to jump at the edge of the doorway before the seat gave way and I got a hold on it.
So I then used whatever strength that I had left to climb up and I did so. Although I almost lost my grip at one point and almost fell back down to the bottom of the car, but I still made it in the end. And then I was finally free from the car. However as I got myself up, I then looked at the wreckage before me, and let me tell you...it was like a mini war zone...well that's a bit too much to describe it.
However how about a mini wasteland after an atomic bomb hit it...there's a slightly better description to go off of. So I looked around me and there seemed to be a clear path to get out of the wreckage, as there was nothing but broken wheels and fires burning along with some black smoke, but it was mostly in the air and not near the ground so I was alright for now.
So I then looked around and said to myself, "Well...hope I can find my way out of this maze of destruction."
So I took a few seconds of rest, for I did have to do all of that work to just get out of a train car that was in a vertical position. After that, I knew I had to keep moving if I wanted to live so I looked at how I could get down.
Luckily, the whole wreckage felt like an Uncharted game where there was convenient paths to get me down. So either I was lucky or...we are all living in a video game of some kind...and we're being controlled by some evil master mind. And that is really what our reality is.
Anyways, I found a conveniently placed paths that I could slowly descend to the ground on, which was basically two cars on its side on top of one another that was slightly off. And it was right next to the vehicle car that I was on, so I then jumped down safely to the first car, as it was burning on the inside, but no worry since I didn't need to be inside so...you know...not really much to say there.
And then I jumped to the second car down below that was beneath the car that I was already standing on and with a little space for me to drop down on. I did so and then all I had to do was hit the ground safely...sadly though the car that I was on not too long before exploded and the force pushed me to the ground, but nothing to worry about though. And so after I landed on the floor, which was basically just lots of dirt and part of the rails and shit along with whatever debris that was on the ground separately was on the ground. So I then looked at my path on how to get out of this mess.
It was at first a straight shot through the middle, then I had to take a right turn, then get over some rubble that wasn't too big, then go under a big metal piece, then take a left, then another straight shot. So I started with going straight. I did so and all I could see while I was working was train cars destroyed and pieces of the train that possibly made the train work was everywhere or attached to the path somehow that I was taking.
I then continued to walk until I had to take that right turn, it was more or less of a curved right turn but I was on my right nonetheless. So I did so, nothing to comment on and then I came across a small pile of rubble, it consisted of broken metal pieces and coal and such, so I climbed it, with no worries and then got over to the other side.
However, I then heard a or at least I thought at first was a pony screaming for help. After what I thought I heard something, I stood there, just to make sure I wasn't going crazy, but I wasn't, it was a real pony in trouble and in need of my help. I looked around wondering where it was coming from, but then I realized I had to keep going forward as the voice got louder and louder as I did so.
So I kept going and then when I found the big metal piece thing that I had to go under, there was the conductor of the train, just lying there on the ground and pleading for someone to help him either kill him or help him out. He was laying on his back, sort of pinned down by that big metal piece, and he looked really bad, and more than likely in a lot of pain.
He had scratches and bruises, some burn marks even all over his body and his face was a bit messed up, but the cloths that he was wearing as the conductor of the train was all ripped up and had holes in them.
So I went closer to him and he finally noticed me and he then said, "Oh thank Celestia that someone came for me. Please help me sir! I'm stuck...I don't think I can get out on my own! Can you please help me?"
I then looked at him and I thought about it for a while and finally came to the conclusion that I was able to help him out.
So I got closer to him and finally said to him, "Ok look...it won't be easy getting you out from under there, so you're going to have to help push this metal thing so you can get out...got it?"
The conductor looked at me with tears in his eyes due to the shear pain that he was in and he looked like all he wanted to do was go home to his lovely family and his wife and kids one more time...granted I'm not sure if he had a wife or kids.
Who knows...maybe he went out and raped some ponies or something...maybe he was so lonely that he cross dressed as a mare and tried to fuck himself. I mean who knows right? Well the conductor then put his hooves with whatever strength that he had left on the big metal piece thing as I stood my back hooves once more and put my hooves under the big metal piece and we both tried to push it up so the conductor would have more room to escape.
The first few seconds seemed futile as nothing was happening, but with a little more strength, we moved it a few inches upward, and soon the conductor pushed himself by using his legs to get out from under. And then he was free. He was able to stand up, but not straight, and only on three legs, not only to mention there was a decently sized wound on his chest, so he would need medical treatment as fast as possible. He looked miserable and sad, and he also looked at me too.
He then told me, "Alright..try and find a way to get on the other side."
I then said, while trying to catch my breath since it was heavy to lift that big metal big , "Yeah..uhhh not sure if that's going to be easy...especially since this thing did....pin you down...oh this hurts."
Then I finally let go of the thing and my arms were resting as I went back on all fours. We then stood there trying to think of a solution on a way to get out.
Then a light bulb went off in the conductor's head and he then said to me, "What if you just sort of dug a little hole under the thing, then you would have enough room to crawl under and then we can both get out of here and find help."
I then looked at him and then my eyes then went towards the ground and then I finally said, "Alright then...I'll give it a shot."
I then went ahead and started to dig a small slope like hole underneath the big metal piece thingy and it didn't take too long since it was just dirt. I then made a big enough of a hole and not only to mention my hooves were covered in dirt.
The conductor went through first and he took a while since he was more injured than I was. However as he slowly crawled on the ground and pushed himself with his remaining legs, he was able to get to the other side in no time.
He then said to me, with a little exhaustion in his voice, "Alright your turn next."
I then got on my stomach and started to crawl. It seemed a little tight to move through, but I was able to manage and pulled through the other side...and in enough time too big once I was on the other side, the big metal piece thing collapsed and blocked the other side.
So I then looked at the blocked path and said, "That was close."
I then looked towards the conductor and I then said, "Need help walking?"
The conductor looked at me and he then said, "Yup...if you can please...I would like that very much."
So I got up from the ground and I put my right hoof over his back and he put his left hoof over my back and we started to walk together. The conductor was limping while I was trying to keep him steady and going. We eventually made that left turn that I said before and then after that we went straight and finally we were out.
We could see that we were far off from any town or village of any kind, so we looked around and wondered what we were going to have to do.
I then finally said, "Alright...it seems to me that the nearest place we can get help is back in Cantorlot. And it isn't that far away from where we came, granted it's a bit of a walk, but we can make it if we push ourselves. You think you can handle it?"
The conductor then looked at me and he then said to my face, "I think so...yeah...."
I then said, "Then let's get moving, we need to get you some help as fast as we can."
So we turned around and looked back at the wreckage and we could go around it and so we did, granted there was some smoke and debris still everywhere, but nothing like we were trapped inside the wreckage. So we started to head the way back towards Cantorlot while the area that we were in was to out left and to our right was some train cars on its side and some burning piles of metal with some debris here and there, but for the most part there was an open field with a little slope downhill.
So we were walking along side the wreckage and eventually we came to another car that was in a vertical position. We walked past it as the conductor was trying his best not to limp as much, but he couldn't help it since more than likely he had a few broken bones inside of him. We walked a few more feet until I realized shit wasn't going to let up. The conductor died. How you may ask?
Well, very quickly and silently, a bullet flew through his skull and killing him quickly and silently on impact. And due to the force of the bullet, he instantly fell backwards, dead with his some of his brains on the ground and blood rushing out of his nose and head...but mostly his nose. It was like a mini waterfall of red blood cells just gushing out of his nose and such and...what a sight to behold...it a mess and sort of smelled, but I then looked out to the open field wince where we were just about to clear the wreckage.
Then I heard and saw another bullet come near me, but this time hit the ground near my left hoof, in which case I got scared and quickly scrambled back to that vertical car I talked about. What was this bullet that was being fired coming from you might ask?
BACK ON TF'S SIDE:
On the other side that was sort of far away on another hill, but at the right point of view to where you could see me and the Conductor coming, was TF and his group.
They were all there, off the cart and watching as Snow was on his stomach with his rifle out. He was looking through his scope and boy could you see far through those lens on the scope. Snow was looking through it and was waiting for me and the conductor to come into his field of vision. However we didn't make it there yet so they had some time to kill.
Snow asked TF, "Are you sure they will be heading this way TF?"
TF then said to him, "Of course, the nearest place where they can get help is in Cantorlot, and of course I need him to go the other way, so try and make Knight go the other way. Scare him by shooting at the ground near where his hooves are at."
Snow then said, "Got it...do not worry...I am an excellent shooter and I can promise you I will make my mark."
TF then said, "Yes well...just pay attention."
While they were waiting for me to come by, and not expecting the conductor and such, the others just sat there and talked. The brother and sister just complained as usual to each other while Star didn't say a word and was leaning against a tree while Sky and Blacky were talking.
Sky asked Blacky, "So...what did you think of the train crash?"
Blacky then said, "Well for starters that is a weird question to ask. Second of all, it's nothing special. I've seen ships crash and buildings blow up ten times over before than this, so it was nothing new to me."
Sky then said, "Well I asked because I thought it was a start of being tough somehow."
Blacky then looked at him, "Look, talking about an incident like this isn't tough. Getting over the fact that you may or may not have killed somepony on there is tough, because not everypony has the guts to take a life here. If anything, they couldn't take it and more than likely end their own life with a noose. Now if you really want to be tough, try to learn how to fight with your hooves. Or at least try to use a gun."
Sky then said, "Well...you are going to teach me...aren't you?"
Blacky then gave a low sigh and then said, "Yes...I will, just not right now. When we have more time and out in the open with plenty of fields and trees to shoot at, I'll teach you, but right now we just need to make sure everything goes according to TF's plan so we can start to hunt this Knight down. Got it?"
Sky then said, "Got it..."
Blacky then looked a little pissed off, but he then said with a bit more tone in his voice, "Got it..wait, what?"
Sky then was confused for a few seconds until he then finally realized what he meant about that comment he just made.
He then said with his back straighten, "Got it Sir."
Blacky then said, "Good, because if I'm going to teach you, you have to promise me you'll do everything that I tell you to do along with giving me some respect. I may be old but I've done and seen something that I'm sure you are not able to handle just yet, but as long as you do what you are told what to do and give me some respect, I'll teach you how to be strong and how to survive in this world."
Sky then said, "Yes sir, I promise that I will listen to whatever you say and do whatever you say...sir."
Blacky then nodded silently, but then looked towards TF who was near him and asked him, "When are we going to get out of these ski masks...I want to put on my damn hat on you know?"
TF then said, ""Right after we get Knight to go in the direction we want him to go to, then we'll change. And besides, this is just in case somepony around spots us, we are near Cantorlot after all so you may never know what may or may not happen. I am only looking out for the best interest of the group."
Blacky then said, "If you say so...as long as I get to wear my hat and no longer have to wear these suits...I'll be fine. Although, one question. How come you're not wearing a ski mask?"
TF then said, "Well, I am not so much worried about me as I am with the rest of you. Now go and wait with the others. I'll let you know when our business is done here."
And so Blacky walked away towards the others. They then continued to wait it wait, and while they waited they still continued to talk..but nothing of interest. Then again...who knows...maybe a conversation of shoving a sea shell up someone's asshole as the seas shell is alive and is licking inside your asshole could be an interesting topic to bring up in a conversation. And then you do it two more times to have the cleanest asshole ever.
But you know...that topic isn't interesting...if anything...you people want details about some guy looking at how bloody his underwear is in five hundred pages...nor more...or nor less...all while giving a hand job to a cat while that cat is eating you alive from the inside out...and snorting cocaine through its ear hole as the cat is high as a polar bear is raping it in the asshole. Anyways, eventually me and the Conductor eventually showed up in Snow's line of sight, but he wasn't expecting the conductor of course. Not even TF or anyone else expected for the conductor to be alive either.
Even Snow looked a little confused, so he then asked TF, "Uhh...sir...the train conductor appears to be still alive? What do you want me to do?"
TF then said, "Kill him, shoot him in the head, that'll get Knight's attention, possibly even add more to the scare factor as well."
Sky heard what TF said about killing the pony and only that part and he was shocked that TF wanted an innocent life dead. He felt bad for the conductor being part of the destruction, but now that the conductor was still alive, it made him feel less sad about the whole thing about trying to blow up the train part...but now that TF wants to still kill him, it made him feel a sense of unease.
He then said to TF, "Wait! I thought you said you didn't want to hurt anypony but Knight!?"
TF then looked at Sky and said to him as he softly put a hoof on Sky's shoulder and said to him calmly, "Look Sky...he's in pain. I thought that explosion would have made his death quick, but I was wrong, and clearly he is suffering from it."
TF then made Sky look at the conductor and then told him, "Look at him Sky...he's in great amount of pain. Do you not want to end his suffering? Do you want to deny his right to go to a better place than this? Just look at the condition that he is in...if he got to a hospital, it would surely make his life worse. And if not, the hospital bills would put him in great amount of debt anyway. The only way we can end his pain and suffering is if we end his life. Do you not agree to my mercy that I am trying to give him Sky?"
Sky then looked at TF in his eyes and was sad about it. He never seen anyone get shot killed in his life, but yet TF had a point. He needed to end the conductor's life, but of course we all know TF was just lying to him, but no one cares.
Sky then said to TF, "Alright...please...help him..."
TF then looked softly into his eyes and then said, "Thank you...you just saved a soul today from hell."
TF then looked at Snow as he was looking at him and waiting for his call. TF then silently nodded his head and Snow knew what that meant. Snow then looked back through his scope and aimed up his shot. He then made sure everything was right and such, especially the wind, which wasn't a problem and then pulled the trigger...somehow with his hooves...which if you ask me...it's just magic.
Anyways, Snow pulled the trigger and then the bullet flew through the air and made contact with the conductor's head...and then you know what happened after that.
After I ended up behind the vertical standing car, Snow then asked TF, "He's behind some cover...what do we do now?"
TF then thought for a while and didn't say a word because Snow then saw me poke my head out just a bit and then aimed at me was not really though since he was just supposed to scare me off into the other direction and all. So instead the bullet landed on the cover that I was at, which once again scared me to go back into hiding.
I knew I couldn't do much since I was pinned, so I then went ahead and said to myself silently, "Shit...I'm stuck. I do have a handgun and another gun in my satchel, but with not knowing where the bullets are coming from along with not knowing it is...it looks like me going to Cantorlot is a no go. Looks like my only option is the other way."
So I then started to run and galloped to the other direction and so then began my long trail back home to Stalia on foot...or by hoof...whatever you want to say about that.
And so Snow was still waiting for me to pop my head out and scare me some more, but I never did, so Snow then asked, "He is not coming out TF...what should we do?"
TF then said, "Then that means you did your job well, by now he might be well on his way in the direction we want him to, or else he would continue to have looked to see if he is in the clear."
Snow then asked him, "How do you know?"
TF then said, "Because...I know him well enough for how he would act in this type of situation when he is pinned down and there is only one direction, especially when he's by himself. Now as for removing the masks, you may do so before we continue our little journey here, but make it quick, we cannot lose Knight."
And so everyone there, except for Star, nodded their heads and so everyone started to put their normal cloths back on, which they didn't normally wear any cloths, but...whatever you get the point...except for Star and Snow, they stayed in their normal gear with Star being silent and Snow wanting to keep his ski mask on because it would help him be hidden since the way that I was going was to be a bit snowy...in fact...there was a lot of snow as I continued to walk in the direction I was going, but I'll explain that once we get to that point.
So, let me explain with the other four changing into their cloths. With Blacky, all he had on was a brown cowboy...cowpony hat on with a duster coat on that was a light shade of brown, a gun holster for a handgun, and something to hold his rifle along with a few ammo rounds.
His coat was that of a dark brown color while his mane color was sort of grey, but still had the hint of the color black in it. He also had a rough beard, like a five o' clock shadow look to it, sort of what I kind of had sometimes, but sometimes I would have a clean shave, but you get the point.
I mean at that point I had a clean shave, I never mention this though because why does it even matter Cow Tippers...that's right...I know you would be the ones asking that question...and you know what...fuck you Cow Tippers...just fuck you. Anyways, Blacky's Cutie mark was of a wanted poster, mostly because he was a bounty hunter in his days of youth when he was working, but of course you could tell on his face that he was old, but yet he was wise on some occasions.
Sure he did fight in a war, but still, he had to do something after it...so he used to be a bounty hunter. Now on to Sky. Sky looked young and full of life. He had a black color mane, of course tail but didn't think I would need to explain that. His mane was short, same thing with Blacky, he had a unicorn's horn, while Blacky was just a simple Earth pony, and Sky had a coat color of pure white. He even had a cutie mark, and it was a picture of a quill.
He used to work at a little place where he did some paperwork and help out his dad, but that is as much as I know. With the two siblings, they were both pegasi, but they never used their wings because they weren't good flyers and didn't really care about them. And sad to say they didn't even earn their cutie marks and such.
For Mr. Brown, he had a short haircut to his mane and it was a light brown-ish color to it with a dirty brown color to his coat. His tooth was crooked, just like his sister, and also too wore a duster coat, but it was of a even more a lighter brown than Blacky's one since it was just a regular light brown. The same could be said for Mr. brown's sister, since they were both siblings and they had to look alike somehow. As for the sister, pretty much the same look except for the mane color, since her mane color was a blonde color and was braided. Other than that, Snow kept his mask on other cloths on while Star just stayed silent and waited in the cart since she didn't have a purpose other than to wait for the others.
Once everyone was done with their changing, TF asked them all, "So...are we all ready to go?"
Blacky then said, "Ready when you are."
TF then said, "Good...now you and Snow go saddle up while everypony, go ahead and get in the cart so we can go...we need to catch up to Knight and follow him."
And so Blacky and Snow got hooked up and was prepared to pull the cart while the rest got in the cart with all the other supplies that they had and was ready to go. Once TF was in the driver's seat, he looked back in the cart to make sure everything was ready and there was no trouble to be made.
He then looked forward and then said out loud, "Let's go!"
And then they were off and started to follow me in my direction, but hidden though. Basically all they had to do was follow the train tracks and they were good.
BACK TO KNIGHT:
So back to me...finally....I mean it was like we were stuck on that flashback forever, then it was finally back to me...then back to TF...then again...I guess there is still more to the story other than me...well shit...well...better get to it then. Well, what can I say...I was walking the darn train tracks. I mean sure...I was running, but eventually I just slowed down...I mean what did you expect, that I was the Flash or something?
I mean eventually I was going to run out of energy, and using that needle thing I mentioned earlier as I was explaining something, I couldn't waste it on this...although now that I think about it...I could have used it and got more...wow...I was a fucking idiot. Oh well, it was what it was. Anyways, I slowed down and then just walked down the rail road tracks...and walked and walked and walked...what did you expect...something funny to happen? I mean funny things happened while walking the train tracks...what funny things could happen while walking that I encountered you ask?
I mean...maybe you could find a dead body? Maybe...I mean that would make for one interesting summer. Maybe come across a bridge and find someone trying to commit suicide there, but then again all I could say is that would be boring since it's cliché to do that. That and shooting yourself and hanging your self is also a cliché.
But...whatever. So I continued to walk, I'll let you know about the snow part later, but for now it was just dirt and open fields. No pony in sight, not even another train in sight, most likely because ponies in Cantorlot finally caught on to the smoke back at the spot that I was at. Really to tell you the truth it was boring just walking that train tracks. I mean, sorry Cow Tippers...but nothing happened...just completely nothing for hours on end.
I mean it was like being in the middle of nowhere with no one. I didn't have anyone to talk to and was all by myself. Granted I went through far much longer of being alone than just a few hours...but boy was it boring...I was starting to even miss Neon and the others. At least something interesting would have happened to them.
So I kept walking and walking...with nothing to eat or drink, was kind of thirsty, but I wasn't bothered by it though. I then kept walking and walking and walking until I finally realized how far away Stalia was from Cantorlot. I mean in the show, it seemed like it was only an hour away from Ponyville to Cantorlot, but it wasn't here...but then again they were on a train and I wasn't. But then again still...I should have at least started to see the towns in the distance.
However, after a few hours of not noticing that I was being followed and walking a boring path of nothing but rail road tracks...I did come across something that was slightly interesting. And it was a little hotel on the side of the railroad tracks, and there was a fat old stallion and old mare there, sitting outside, looking like old happy folks. And then...I could just hear the music in my head...
And to my right, there was a little water tower thingy, and there were some dresses out as well.
Yup...it's that...and as I got closer, the sign on the hotel read The Shady Rest.
And then when I got even closer, the two old couple looked at me and smiled and the old stallion that was fat and questionable as to why he didn't have diabetes yet said to me, "Oh look Kate...it's a guest! Come over here and join us for some lemonade! My name is uncle Joe and here is old lady bitch! Also known as Kate!"
I eventually got close enough to then stop walking towards them.
I had a little odd look on my face and I then said to them, "No thank you...I don't want any of your shitty lemonade. But thank you though...so go fuck yourselves."
The old fat pony then said, "Well you're welcome to have it anytime. So...what brings you to these parts?"
I then told him, "I'm just trying to get back to my home in Stalia...had a little accident a few miles back. Think you two could help me?"
Then Old Lady Bitch told me, "Why yes we can! Maybe Charlie and Floyd can help you out tomorrow when they pass by. But for now you can stay with us at the hotel, we have free breakfast in the morning."
I then thought for a while, then I said, "Well...I am a little tired...and you two don't seem to be so bad and as long as you don't try to murder me in my sleep tonight...I suppose I can stay for the night. My hooves are getting a little tired from the walk that I had to do to get to this point."
Then the old Uncle Joe said, "That's perfect! We're glad that you decided to stay with us for the night!"
The old fat bastard then looked towards that water tower thingy that I mentioned earlier and he yelled at it and said, "Bettie, Booby, Billie...get your tushies out on over here and meet our new guest that is going to stay with us for the night!"
And then I saw those three dresses disappear and then three mares that were ugly as sin came out. The first one had a red head, the second a brunette, and the last one being a blonde.
They're faces were such an atrocity to look at, it would melt your face off. It looked like they had down syndrome or something of that sort....and as they were walking out kind of funny with creepy smiles on their faces..all I could hear is that theme song.
And as they came out, they all shook my right hoof. The red head said to me, "Hi there stranger!"
The Brunette said to me, "Nice to meet ya!"
Then the blonde said to me, "I have down syndrome!"
And then they all went next to that soon to have diabetes stallion and Old Lady Bitch and the old stallion then said to me, "We're one big happy family...and we're so glad that you came to join us for tonight. You won't regret it..."
ONE HOUR LATER:
So uhh...long story short...I decided to just say, 'What the hell?' and went inside to join them for some dinner.
And about an hour later, I couldn't take it anymore, not only to mention the red head looked like she was coming on to me while the blonde one looked like she was going to kill me by smothering me in my sleep and say she was only trying to sing me a lullaby.
So what I did was I got up from seat, said that I had to go outside and take a "smoke." Then I went outside, went outback to a nearby shed that I'm sure that they had, found a can of gasoline, pour it all over their hotel, lit it on fire, and then walked away...all while it being lunch time.
And I then walked away, although if you Cow Tippers are curious enough, as they were being slowly burned alive, they were all still smiling and the old stallion said, "He was a nice fella..."
Anyways...I then continued my journey back to Stalia...now I know how TK felt...except his was at least wasn't like this....and his journey was a bit longer, but never mind that though. So I continued to walk...and walk some more. As for the weather, it started to get a little cold, but nothing to really talk about though. Soon, it was back to open fields and being bored again. It was sure boring, but at least my hooves got an hour to rest back at that hotel.
Soon it started to get a little snowy, but it was still boring though. However, about three more hours in, I did come across a nice little silver knife on the ground. I noticed it and picked it up with my magic.
I looked at it and then started to pretend as if I was in some sort of fight and I said to myself, "Huh...you call that a knife...this is a knife...and it looks like you brought a fist to a knife fight."
And then a pony behind me then said, "Well...it looked like you just brought a knife to a gun fight."
I had wide eyes and surprised to hear that another pony was behind me. I quickly turned around and saw that another pony just came out of nowhere and was holding a gun to my head.
Now I could describe the pony, but you're just going to forget the pony in a few minutes anyways, so I'm just going to let you use your imagination and call him whatever you want, whatever voice that you want this pony to have, whatever gender, what clothing...anything...use your fucking imagination...you might just start to discover how great it is.
Anyways, this pony was holding a gun to my face and I then said, "What the..."
I was then cut off by another pony that came out of nowhere...actually they all came out of nowhere. Well this second pony said to the first pony, "Well it looks like you brought a gun to a spoon fight."
The second pony then held out a nice silver, shiny spoon at the first pony.
Then a third pony came out and then said, while we all started to make a circle, "Well it looks like you brought a spoon to a fish fight."
Then a fourth pony came out of nowhere and then said, "Well it looks like you brought a fish to a lamp fight."
Then a fifth pony came out and then said, "Well it looks like you brought a lamp to a carrot fight."
Then a sixth pony came out and then said, "Well it looks like you brought a carrot to a rock fight!"
And then a seventh pony came out and then said, "You brought a rock to a banana fight mother fucker!"
Then an eighth pony came out and said, "Well it looks like you brought a banana to an orange fight."
Then a ninth pony came out and said, "Well it looks like you brought and orange to a swallow fight."
Then a tenth pony came out and then said, "Well it looks like you brought a swallow to a hat fight."
Then finally an eleventh pony came out of nowhere and said, "Well well well...it looks like you brought a hat to a knife fight..."
Then we all stood in a circle, in a good ol' fashioned illegal Mexican standoff. We were all silent, everyone pointing there...weapon...at each other...except for me as I was confused and scared as to what was going on. And then...once it was one thirty second o' clock...they somehow shot each other with their weapons of choice...I'm not even sure how the banana thing even works but they all got shot in the head and died...and I fell on my back after it happened.
I was shocked, and confused...so I then looked to the both my of sides and quickly ran away.
Then I continued to walk on the train tracks until I eventually got into the middle of nowhere once more. What happened? Well, eventually I started to see a pony figure in the distance. But yet...it was weird since the pony figure wasn’t saying anything and was just in the middle of the train tracks like I was. It was walking like how I was. However I thought to myself that it looked like someone that could possibly help me.
So I then yelled out loud towards the pony, "Hey! Over here! Can you please help me!?"
But I got no response. The pony just kept on walking towards me and as it got closer, I slowly started to see who the pony was. When the pony was at a close enough distance for me to see who the pony was, I was a bit confused. The pony looked like Scout from Team Fortress 2 and he looked retarded.
His eyes were crossed and when I saw Scout, it stopped walking and it looked like it was just staring at me.
Then it took one of its hooves and took out a bat that it had on its back and then started to yell as it ran toward me, "DOC! DOC! DOC! COME ON MAN! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! DOC! DOC! DOC! COME ON MAN!"
And as it was saying those words to me, it was swinging its bat in the air like a maniac, as if it was trying to hit me with it. I got startled of course and tried to run away, but the Scout was too fast for me. I
t was even faster than Sanic the Hedgehog and it started to beat me over the head with the metal bat. Surprisingly it wasn't that painful, just slightly annoying.
As Scout kept bashing my skull with its metal bat, I kept saying, "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."
And as I was saying Ow all the time, Scout kept saying, "DOC! DOC! DOC! COME ON MAN! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! COME ON MAN! DOC! DOC! DOC! COME ON MAN!"
But soon before I knew it, that all stopped as someone else came up behind Scout and started to stab it several times and with that happening Scout finally shut up, but his eyes never closed so forever his dead body was just laying there with crossed eyes.
After that happened, I looked up and saw who stabbed Scout. It was, oddly enough, the Zodiac killer. He was in his full uniform and all, you know, that black clothing that the Zodiac wore when he was doing his killings back in the 70's and shit.
Well as he was just standing there, in pony form, with a bloody knife in his hoof...hand...whatever...he then said to me with a happy tone, "Hi there."
I then replied with, "Uhh....hello to you too there mister."
We were both then silent for a bit until the Zodiac killer then said, "Nice weather we're having."
I then said to him back, "Yup...yup we are."
And then we were both silent once more. I then said, "So uhh...you're the Zodiac killer?"
The Zodiac Killer then said to me, "Sure am. What you just saw there was my 38th victim Ha ha ha...just kidding, that was my 666th victim. You see I just randomly stumbled upon this universe and thought to myself, 'Gosh Zodiac Killer...wouldn't it be great to just...you know...kill a pony in cold blooded murder so I can collect for my slaves that will serve me in the afterlife in paradice? That would be swell!"
I then said, "And?..."
The Zodiac Killer than told me, "Then I did it. Well, not for long. Most of my victims were human, but I did get a chance to get some nice Smurfs midgets, some Furrbies, some Pokémon, and Adam Sandler. He's a funny guy."
I then said, "Ok now I know you're a monster. Only a monster would like Adam Sandler and think he's funny."
The Zodiac Killer than said to me, "But he is funny. You just have a bad taste in comedy. Anyways...need any help with anything? Perhaps a baby I can throw out a car window? Another pony I can stab to death so I can have for my afterlife where I can torture my slaves for all of eternity? Because that would be nice you know..the more the merrier."
I then said, "No...not at all there Mr. Zodiac Killer."
Then the Zodiac Killer said to me, "Please, you don't have to call me that. just call me Allen."
I then said, "Yeah, nice try, but we all know it's you Ted Cruz."
Ted Cruz then said, "Well god damn it...even here ponies know who I am?"
I then said to Ted, "Yup...we all know. I mean...it's kind of obvious that you were the Zodiac Killer this entire time."
Ted then said, "Well great now you've ruined the surprise."
I then asked Ted, "What surprise?"
Ted then said, "I don't know. I mean....I just don't know anymore. I mean I try to stay relevant with the kids and all, that's why I did that whole Green Eggs and Ham thing in front of Congress so I could get the stupid millennials to vote me in the primaries but...you know...that didn't go nowhere. Turns out trying to keep a lot of old men in a building and having them to be force to hear me read Green eggs and Ham for hours was a bad idea. I thought that would have made me popular among the youngsters...but instead they went towards some old bitch with a vagina that possibly that has crabs that I wouldn't touch even with 32 light year pole. Kids these days…am I right?”
I then said, “Yup…kids these days…whatever you say there Ted. Then again you are possibly right about those crabs. I would also expect those crabs to have AIDs.”
Ted then said, “Yup, trust me, they do. I’ve seen them in person.”
And then out of nowhere, a little pink bunny started to hop towards us.
Ted herd the hopping and saw the bunny that was holding a basket filled with colored eggs and he then said to the pink bunny, “Oh hey! There’s my friend that I know. Hey…over here!”
Ted was waving towards the pink bunny and gesturing for the pink bunny to come over here.
Eventually the pink bunny made its way over to where we were and the pink bunny looked a little weird as it was wearing a light blue vest and it said, “Hi! I’m the Easter Bunny’s second twin brother….Derek.”
I then asked Ted, “So uhhh…who the fuck is this?”
Ted then said, “Well he’s my friend from another dimension. He also helps me kill my victims as well.”
Derek then said, “Yeah, but that’s what got me disowned by my big brother the Easter Bunny and my other, older twin brother…Darrell…”
Ted then said, “I’m so sorry about that Derek. I feel so terrible about it. Hey! Wait…I’ve got an idea! How about we ask Knight here to join us on our little killing spree! It would be just the three of us and we would have enough power to kill all the Jews! We will kill all the Jews and make it if the Holocaust never happened at all!”
Derek then asked Ted, “But I thought the Holocaust never happened at all?”
Ted then said, “What’s the difference? And besides, even if it did happen, who cares about the 6 Jews that died anyway.”
I then said, “I thought it was the 6 billion Jews that died.”
Ted then said, “Oh…was it 6 billion? I thought it was the thirteen million Jews that we weren’t supposed to forget.”
Derek then said, “I thought it was 6 trillion that died.”
I then said “Clearly it was only the six billion that died.”
Ted then said, “Well, whatever the number was, it sure wouldn’t count up to the amount of Jews we’re going to have when we turn on the ovens.”
I then said, “Well good luck with that. I’m leaving. Goodbye.”
And so I started to walk away from the two, but as I walked away a few feet from them, Ted then stopped me and then said, “Wait! Before you go…can you please vote for me in the primaries?”
I then said, “No.”
Ted then asked me, “Please?”
I then replied back with, “No.”
Ted then asked again, “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
I then said, “No.”
Ted then said to me, “I’ll stab kill you and make you one of my slaves if you don’t.”
I then said to Ted one last final time, “No.”
Ted then said, “Oh…ok then. I understand. Go ahead then…at least I tried. You know that’s why I killed people, right? Killed those that didn’t want to vote for me.”
I asked him, “Then why don’t you kill me then?”
Ted then said, “You know…I don’t really know anymore. Like I said, I tried to be relevant with the kids and killing wouldn’t work so I tried Green Eggs and Ham and that didn’t work, so I thought I try killing again but that still didn’t work and…”
Ted eventually stopped talking as he saw that I had already left him.
He then said to himself while the pink bunny was still there, “Oh…he already left. Just like how my family left me when my wife said I wasn’t a man enough for her. Oh god what has gone wrong with my life?”
Derek then said to Ted, “Don’t worry Ted, we can still eat the Jews.”
Ted then said, “Yeah..that won’t cheer me up though. But…thanks anyways... One day...one day I will rule this world. One day…one day I will become…the president of the United States of America!”
And as he stood tall and mighty as he said those words, it was as if an American flag was waving right behind him right when he said those words. However, he never became the president of the United States of America. If anything, he only died a dumbass.
The end for his life I guess. Anyways, I then continued on my little journey, and once more it was just trains tracks and dirt for miles on end. But eventually I came across one more thing. I was in the middle of the train tracks and eventually I came across a pony that was in a wheel chair with a retarded looking fellow right by his side.
The pony in the wheel chair had both of his legs chopped off, had a skull for a face, in fact his entire head was nothing but a skull. The front of his wheel chair had a little plow that would roll over and kill kids. And he looked like one sad sack of fat crap. He was also very greasy and dirty, for all I know he could have been the Greasy Strangler. He also wore a cowboy hat on and had a can of beer right next to him. And it looked like as if he was trying to get the wheel chair to work, but he couldn’t. And as for the retarded pony right next to him, he was wearing blue overalls and a yellow construction hat while also having cross eyes.
As I got closer, the pony was saying to the retarded one, “I know Engineer! That’s what I’m trying to do! But these damn Fruit Bowls keep screwing everything up with my wheel chair I tell you! I blame all of these troll terrorists and cyber vermin!”
And the Engineer then said, “duh dad ahaaaaaa ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
The pony in the wheel chair then said, “That’s right Engineer! You said it! When we get back home and do another show…I’m going to make sure to give those CIA people a piece of my mind for double dipping my chips! And besides, even if they do send Eminem after me, I’ll still kill him and be sent to jail and become king of the blacks! They’ll hoist me up and be saying ‘Yeah baby!’ I’ll be king of the Blacks you hear! I’m a dangerous man you hear!”
I then got a little closer as I stopped in my tracks as I felt like I didn’t want to get too close to these ponies. However, since I was out in plain sight, they noticed me, well, at least the one in the wheel chair did.
He instantly looked at me with a hard stare and said to me, “What are you looking at!?”
I then said, “Nothing…it’s just that…who the fuck are?”
The pony in the wheel chair then said, “I am your host…the pony that they call Ghost! And I want you to spread that around like wildfire! SPREAD IT AROUND! SPREAD IT AROUND! SPREAD. IT. AROUND LIKE WILDFIRE!!!”
I then said to Ghost, “So….what happened to your legs? Did you leave it in some rice paddies or something?”
That tipped Ghost over the edge and he then yelled at me, “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT VIET FUCKING NAM!!! OK!? YOU GOT THAT YOU TROLL TEROIST AND CYBERVERMIN!? I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO CHARLIE!!!”
I then asked Ghost, “Who’s Charlie? Was he a friend of yours or something?”
Ghost then responded with, “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING CHARLIE GOD DAMN IT! CHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRLIE!!!”
I then said, “So….you did left your legs in rice paddies. So…if I may ask, was it like Willie Wonka and the Rice Paddies?”
Ghost then said, “GOOOOOOOOOOD DAMN IT YOU SON OF A BITCH! STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING CHARIE AND VIET FUCKING NAM!!!”
I then said to Ghost, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk about that stuff. How about let’s talk about your dog, Templeton. I’m guessing you have a dog named Templeton, right?”
Ghost then said, "Yeah...what about my dog?”
I then asked Ghost, “Did he take a shit on your carpet and you had to pay one hundred and fifty dollars for someone else to clean it all up? Or did you ever get in a car crash where you wanted to avoid hitting a squirrel and you went NUTS because the damage cost you five thousand dollars.”
Ghost then said, "GOD DaMN IT! STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT SHIT!”
I then said, “Oh…ok then…how about you and Donald Dump. You look like you really must hate him. I bet you’re the one that’s going to go nuts and pull the trigger. I mean, I wouldn’t, mostly because I’ve been hearing things about Donald Dump nowadays back on Earth, but I have no clue as to what’s really going on. But apparently some people want him dead for some reason. Not sure why, mostly because I’ve heard very little and I’ve only been back on Earth for so long you know, but you look like some escaped mental asylum person and would go out and do that sort of thing…you know? That and you do look like someone that would go out of his way to spank some Niggas that make monkey sounds. And you also look like someone that would bang Alex Jones too.”
Ghost then said, “ENOUGH! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS EHNOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I’M GPING TO KICK SOME ASS LIKE THE BAD ASS TEXAN THAT I AM!!! HA HA HA! AND WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE SHOUTING OUT ‘WE DO IT FOR CHAIRMAN MAO!’ YOU’RE GOING TO BE BEGGING ME TO JUST SEND YOU AND THE REST OF THOSE TROLL TERROISTS AND CYBER VERMIN OFF TO WAR…BECAUSE BABY…I’M GOING TO BE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN 2050, AND NOT EVEN THE BRONIES ARE GOING TO STOP ME…RIGHT ENGINEER!!!? Engineer?”
Ghost turned around to look at the Engineer that was standing like a retarded person…pony…whatever, and then said, “Duh duh duuuuh duh haaaaaaa aaaaahhhhhh!”
Engineer then from out of nowhere took out a Sony Walkman and started to play the song Boss Nigger.
The Engineer then said, “Yaaaaaayyyyy! Yaaaaaayyyyy! Yaaaaayyyyy! Fuck You!”
Ghost then in response then said, “God damn it Engineer! Look what you did! They still remember! I thought I told you to stop playing that racist song! Don’t you know I’m not racist Engineer! Now shut that off before I fire you and….”
Right before Ghost could finish what he was saying, the Engineer then pulled out a gun from out of nowhere, to be more specific a shotgun was pulled out, and shot Ghost in the face, in which case Ghost was dead right then and there.
The Engineer then said, “I’m the talent! I’m the host! Go meeeeeeeeeeeee!”
And then the Engineer walked away and Ghost’s dead body was just laying there. And so, after that last encounter, I just kept walking on forward because I knew that it was none of my business. Although it wasn’t the last time I would see Ghost again and his little friend.
For some reason I kept running into alternate universe versions of this so called Ghost. One way or another, one thing was for certain. It’s that Ghost was crazy and was more crazy than Alex Jones and his plans to turn the frogs gay. Chances are though this so called Ghost, at least in one universe that is, was a mental patient that used to live in an asylum.
But soon the place closed, and Ghost was the only patient still living in the place and was left behind.
And so, Ghost then made his own radio show and went crazy with it. Chances are...in one universe at least. Perhaps in another life he was doing it for the fame and the attention. But really…who the fuck knows. All I know is he's ripping off Alex Jones.
And that is it as far as anything happening on the railroad tracks...other than that...it was just a boring mess. But before I do something...I just want to say, I continued to walk and walk and walk some more until apparently I was heading north on the tracks and entered a snowy area of the tracks...so that's the snow part explained.
Now...here's the thing that I'm going to do...I'm going to do another flashback...I know it's sad...but here we go anyways you fucking Cow Tippers...
A FEW MONTH'S BACK:
Hooray! Another flashback sequence. I mean we already did a flashback, then a flashback within a flashback, then returned to that flashback that I or we or whatever started on...and now another flashback sequence.
Now why on Earth you might ask that I'm writing my life story with flashback sequences that has nothing to do with me whatsoever, or not even getting Morgan Freeman or that really white sounding guy to narrate this at least?
It's because one, fuck those guys, I took over and they no longer can interrupt me and my life story writing thingy...granted they could maybe one day over power me and I'll be back to square one. And second of all...I don't know...why am I writing a flashback sequence that has nothing to do with me whatsoever? I mean either Morgan Freeman is mind controlling me like all black people do or I just have a sense that I should just write about the flashback sequences.
Then again...I did want to become a director back on Earth for Hollywood and shit like that...but then again that was ages ago, so either I have no control what I write or The Cow Tippers might just be using their evil mind controlling machine to make me do their evil biddings...like writing what they want...and lately they have been wanting, or at least assuming that is, character stuff...you know...like back stories and shit...at least I'm guessing that is.
In which case, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COW TIPPERS!!! That's right you filthy Cow Tippers, you scum of the Earth you mother fuckers...you'll never take control of my mind...I won't write this flashback sequence....NEVER! Now...where were we?
Ah yes....a flashback sequence of some kind, now this flashback is for Blacky...good....ol'....black people. Granted he wasn't a black guy pony so that isn't the case. But we can still dream...can't we....or have a sports team with Team Whitey and Team Blacky.
It would be so much fun. Then I can bet against Team Blacky...unless of course it's basketball...then you can bet on the black people...because they will be making you rich....and shit. Anyways, it was a few months back before this whole thing with me and the train crash and shit like that.
We start off with a no name town, only reason is because...I have no fucking clue what the town's name is. But it was in the middle of winter, it was a small town somewhere out west of Equestria and there was snow everywhere. It was that messy kind of snow and it was everywhere. Not only to mention it was cold, but not too cold to where water will freeze immediately.
Granted if that's the case, then everyone in the flashback sequence would be dead and this would be pointless and only to waste our time and mine as I just sit here and write this down. But it wasn't so you get the idea. The town was also a small town, filled with simple ponies who just went about their day as normal. In a way, it kind of reminds you or me of a small western town, you know..like cowboys and red skins and the cowboys skinning the red skins alive and selling them for on the black market because the red skin's skin is very valuable among the blacks and illegal Mexicans. And if you catch a ripe red skin...the skin will actually be a cherry colored red.
Anyways, coming from miles away, TF was entering through town with a little cart that he was pulling, for he was all alone and had no one but himself at this point. In the cart, he had...well guns...and lots of them too, granted though they were all covered with a white tarp so no one could see what he had and try to steal it from him or question him since guns at this point were still a brand new thing introduced.
So, TF slowly entered through town with a little brown cowboy hat on...or is it cowpony...I don't know....the terminology is confusing to me. I mean why do you think I say everyone instead of everypony....it's because I don't give a crap and I'm slightly confused...I mean what did you expect? I lived on Earth and other places for like...a long time.
I'm not going to understand their pronouns in just a day or so...or wait I already said something about this didn't I...damn it! I knew it...it's those darn Cow Tippers...they're trying to make me look like a fucking idiot and look bad at the same time...well it's true that I am an idiot sometimes...but that second part isn't true though!
I'm watching you Cow Tippers...when you slip up, despite this being written in advanced...I'll be coming for you....when you least expect it too. Anyways, TF was walking into town with his cart filled with guns of various types. Eventually he was in town and not walking into it and made his way to the local bar.
It was a small establishment, along with a watering hole and a little newly added shooting range with glass bottles on top of a long piece of wood. Well it was new so you really can't blame them for not putting something more fancier up there. Anyways, the shooting range was only a small thing and it was only added because of the guns being brand new and some ponies demanded I guess...I don't know...but that's my guess.
I mean I may be able to know everything...but I prefer not to...because I don't feel like it. Anyways, TF then parked his cart outside the bar, not in any particular spot, he just parked it right outside the front, but of course not blocking anyone's paths or something like that.
Well, once he parked it, he unhooked himself and then made sure to lock the wheels on the cart, you know just in case anyone else wanted to steal it for any reason at all. TF then proceeded to enter the bar, all with his brown cowboy hat on. Once he did, what he saw was a small bar with some tables set out. Once again, just like the town, there wasn't much going on.
There was only like five ponies in there, including Blacky that is. The other ones consisted of one being at a booth that looked depressed enough to hang himself, the second one being at a piano that the bar at and trying to play a sad tune on it, another one at a table playing with the last one in the bar playing a card game of some kind.
Aside from those five ponies, there was of course a bar tender, and as for Blacky, he was sitting right at the bar with a glass of apple cider in his left hoof while the other hoof had it on the counter.
He was wearing his usual stuff of course. And yes, it was Apple cider...well not everyone has to drink beer you know, some ponies here in this Equestria doesn't want anything to do with alcohol...I mean it makes sense to me...just saying is all because I know some Cow Tippers are going to question why it wasn't beer since it was a bar.
But you know...whatever. Well, TF spotted Blacky immediately, so he slowly walked up to him, as his hooves hit against the wooden floorboards of the bar. No other pony was looking at him, he was just walking by himself and walking up to the counter.
Once he got to the counter, he took a bit out and sat right next Blacky and said to the bar tender, "One Beer Please."
The bar tender didn't show any emotion at all, in fact he didn't have much on hi...he wasn't wearing any close...just had a light blue color coat with a bar tendering cutie mark and that was it.
Nothing much there, well anyways, the bar tender didn't show any emotions at all and simply nodded and went straight away to get TF's beer.
Well, Blacky of course noticed it as TF sat right next to him and he then said, "Another beer...why does everypony in here always get the beer? I mean whatever happened to just drinking non-alcoholic stuff, like some good apple cider. It wouldn't hurt to not have beer for once you know?"
TF then said to Blacky, "Yes well...some ponies need it, either to forget their troubles or to drink themselves silly or to death. And if it's ever for a good time, it only happens to the idiots at parties that drink themselves drunk and then end up waking up the next morning in a pool of their own puke with a hangover lingering around them. And if it's really bad, they might have killed another pony that night."
Blacky then gave a sigh as the bar tender gave TF his glass of beer and took the bit from TF. Blacky then took a sip of his half empty apple cider.
Blacky then said to TF, "Well I don't know what to tell you or any other pony here but...drinking your problems away isn't going to help it. I understand there might be some difficult times ahead of us and we just need a little something to take the pain away so you either get addicted to pain killers or drink liquor until you can't remember anymore. But in the end, nothing will ever take the pain away in your soul if you keep doing that. My advice, just shut up and take the pain, who knows...maybe in the end it might do you some good. Or it might not, in which case it'll be over eventually, assuming you're not in purgatory that is, in which it will never end.
'And as for trying to drink until you die from alcohol poisoning, there exist better ways of ending your own life, like finding some sort of plant that will stop your heart...or better yet...just wait for Death to come to your door step to whisk you away. But the difference is that instead of being afraid of Death, you would be welcoming him with open arms and so you go peacefully with Death to what lies in the great beyond after this life. And I know someponies have an issue of me saying there's an afterlife. Look, believe whatever you want, but I'm pretty sure there is one. And as for trying to have a good time with beer, well that's stupid in my opinion, but do what you want...not my life I have to worry about."
Blacky then took another drink from his glass of apple cider, but after that he noticed how close to it being empty, so he looked at the bar tender and asked, "Can I get another round of Apple cider here please...thank you?"
TF took a sip of his beer as the bar tender was pouring another glass of cider for Blacky, and giving it to him.
Once Blacky got his cider, they continued to talk. TF then said to Blacky, "Well you are correct...it is your opinion, there is no doubt about that. And for me I sort of question if there's an afterlife, let alone a god for that matter. But let's put facts on the table here, which one is better for your health and your mental stability?"
Blacky said to TF, "Well obviously the cider is better for your health...but you got me there for mental stability. Some ponies around would go crazy and lose their shit if they didn't have one drop of their favorite beer. Some would even resort to killing if they didn't have what they wanted. So you may have a point there...although may I ask why are you even talking to me?"
TF then tried to look innocent and then said, "Why, I'm just a simple customer named TF that is passing through town in search of ponies to join his little group for a special task that he wants them to accomplish."
Blacky then looked at TF as TF took a swig of his beer, then Blacky said, "Is that so...so tell me TF...how did you find out about me? As a matter of fact, what do you think that I have that you want from me?"
TF then simply said next, "Well for starters, with all of these guns starting to pop up in Equestria, you're one of the early risers. Word has it that you can shoot without even aiming down the sights of a gun. So I figured...you would be right for the job that I have for you."
Blacky then said to TF, "Well it is true...but only for my rifle though. Other than that I have to aim down the sights, although I am trying not to with others in case you're wondering. And besides, if you got a job to do, have you ever tried not using a gun? Why not a fucking huge knife. That'll scare anypony or brutally kill them, but it gets the job done, but, whatever I'm not judging, well at least not that much.
'Now...I get that you're starting a whole group and all, but as you can see I'm trying to enjoy a nice glass of apple cider. Not only to mention I already have a job...it's called being a bounty hunter. So I have no time to join your silly little gang. But if to say that if I did had the time, what makes you think I would be joining your little gang?"
TF then pulled out a piece of paper that said "You are now debt free from Cheese's Casino Palace! Have a nice day!"
Blacky looked at this piece of paper and was a little shocked. He then said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
TF then said, "No...it is not. I went to that casino place and wiped away your debt. However, since I did that, you now have to work for me, or at least do this one job at least."
Blacky then said, "Ok...fine...I'll do it...granted the debt at the casino wasn't that bad...at least I knew when to quit. I mean the bill was only a thousand bits. I could have easily paid it off. Hell, I've paid my previous tabs off in the past with no problem.
'They say I'm one of their better customers over there because unlike some sleaze bags, I pay my debt because I believe if somepony does something for me, I have to pay it back one way or another. In fact, they would have told you that I would have been fine without somepony helping me pay off my debt. And I really can't turn down somepony that helped by a bill that was mine to begin with, so that must only mean that you must really want me to be in your little group."
TF then said to Blacky, "That is true, although when we get with the others...I would suggest that you lie about the whole gambling debt to them. Stretch out the truth...if to say they ever ask you what you're doing with me, say that I got you out of debt by me killing all of those casino ponies that held your daughter hostages until your debt was wiped cleaned, but then they killed her right in front of you, so you now work for me?"
Blacky then looked confused, so he then asked TF, "I don't get it? Why would I lie to any pony else in the group?"
TF then told Blacky, "Well for one thing, you've always been a liar. When The Great War happened, you lied about your age to get into the army. Thru requirement said you needed to be at least 17, but you were 16, but luckily you were able to pull some strings, granted the ponies that you pulled strings with did still put it down that you were 16. Guess they couldn't help but tell the truth but somehow got you in at the same time.
'Then there was a little incident with the police about you being there in a scene of crime, but yet you said you saw nothing...but yet six months later a witness saw you there, so you were put in jail for a few weeks in Manehatten until you were bailed out. You even lied about your real name, you keep using different ones to hide who you really are, you've done it so much that I have no clue what your real name even is. So...why wouldn't you lie at this point. I mean I have been watching you and you do not like to be the one that looks the weakest.
'In a way, you want to look like you've been through something, that you've been through the hardships so every other pony will respect you...and you have been through some hardships, but not all that you say though. So take my word of advice to you...if you want to make yourself look like some kind of bruiting bad ass with a dark past so you can forever protect your ego, use that story. But like I said, you have been through some hardships like that war and such and you do know your way around a rifle and such."
TF then took a sip of his beer quietly without any interruption. Blacky then said, "Well...son of a bitch...I guess you know me and my ego well enough then...but to be fair, I don't always like to look like a bruiting pony. I just do it because sometimes I feel like doing it. Sure I might stretch the truth sometimes, but most of the time it's because I just couldn't care any less about this world. Why do I have to act so neat and clean when most of my life has been filled with nothing but pure and utter shit. Alright I'll do it without complaint...but it's just this one job...right?"
TF then said, "Well of course...I wouldn't lie to you unlike yourself sometimes...but what should I call you by though since you are coming with me within your own free will?"
Blacky then said, "Well...just call me Blacky."
TF then looked at Blacky and then said, "Nice to meet you Blacky...funny enough that was the code name that I was going to give you...what a coincidence huh? But speaking of names...what is your real name?"
Blacky looked over to TF and he then said, "Does it matter?"
TF then said, "Well of course...I am your boss now and I demand to know what your real name is. What was the birth name that was given to you by your dearest mother that died at the age of 21?"
Blacky then looked shocked again, he couldn't believe what he was hearing about his mother. Sure she was young when she had died, but in a way, Blacky looked at it as a bad thing, a more or less of a personal thing that he wanted to keep from others.
A little secret, for his mother did mean much to him, then again a mother is a special girl in every boy's life, unless of course that mother is abusive, in which case....yeah then maybe it's not every boy's special girl in their lives...but whatever...you get the point.
To him, his mum met a lot to him and deep down he only wanted her back. Deep down in Blacky's mind...he just wanted her back...deep within thought as Blacky was trying to process what TF was telling him, Blacky remembered the hard times that he had to go through when he was young. His mother had him when she was young, but even though they didn't have much together, they had a special bond that couldn't be broken, so when she died, Blacky had to move on, but he didn't want to let the past go.
He wanted her to come back so bad. So much that he prayed even, prayed that she would come from the heavens and whisk him away and bring him with her to heaven or something like that, to go to a new home with her, so they could both be together.
Blacky didn't even care if it meant death to him, all he wanted was his mum again and all would be fine with him. But time after time after time, his prayers wouldn't get answered, so in the end he just cried. And Blacky remembers that too, where he would cry and cry until there would be no tears left, until he couldn't cry anymore and it would just stop, until his hooves and arms and even his head felt numb and felt like his heart wanting to stop. He would cry until he would start to feel a little light headed...he would cry until he felt like he was going to choke on something.
That is how he was after his mum's passing and kept asking to go with her. And that is all he wanted to do, he would give anything to be with her, but yet, all he got in return was pure silence.
And for a while, he would cry every night in his bed with a little teddy bear that she gave him in his arms as he wept into the night, and he never let go of that bear either since it was very special to him and his heart. No...to his soul. Well, not until life got to him and told him to get a grip and move on, but yet he still couldn't let it all go in his mind.
And it got so bad for him that he started to hear voices in his head, thinking that it was his mum telling him that everything will be ok, that everything will be aright and that he will go with her one day. In fact he had voices telling him that on specific dates on specific nights that he would go home, so he would go to sleep and hope that he would be in heaven with her, but yet when he awoke the next morning, all he could do was cry his heart out.
Eventually he had to move on, but the voices still stayed with him and even though he doesn't know if those voices were real or not in his head, he wouldn't stop trying to be with her and would still hope that he would be with her one day. And of course you might be wondering why he still believes in the voices? Well, to him, there might be something that is wrong on the other side of life, on the other side known as heaven, so to him, all he knows is that he one day will still go home, and to him he would never give up hope.
In fact, every night, even as an adult, he could still hear those voices in his head and would say good night to his mum. But of course aside from that he tried to be tough as much as he could on the outside, but still prayed that one day she would take him with her, perhaps in heaven he could be young again considering all of the time that they lost to be together after she had died.
And that is all that Blacky had thought...well of course not in great detail, but he just remembered all of the dreams that he had of her and wanting to be with her in heaven and shit like that. Well, Blacky was shocked and felt a little angry, so for a few seconds, he was silent and looked at TF in a way that he was utterly shocked and wanted to pound him into the ground, while TF just sat there and stared blankly into his eyes, awaiting a response from his mouth to come out.
So, Blacky then simply said without going over board and making a scene in front of others, "How do you know this?"
No response came from TF, so Blacky then had to say in a more of an aggressive tone, "I said where did you get this information! Tell me damn it!"
Blacky proceeded to put both of his hooves on TF as he said that and tried to grab him as well, but TF shoved him off and put him back in his seat and said to him, "Calm down Blacky...clearly I have my sources. And clearly just the way that you said that to me, you are very sensitive about who talks about your dearest mother. So clearly...she was very special to you, a very special girl in your life right up until she died from starvation as she couldn't afford much, so she simply sacrificed whatever she had and gave whatever food she could get and gave it to you.
'I must say, starvation is a sad way to go. It's a slow and boring process. I mean if you're going to die, why not just set yourself on fire, it's quicker that way. With starving yourself, especially if you have a good reason for it, it must be so boring just waiting for your life to end. I mean you couldn't do much until your body just gave up on you, and while you're waiting, you're slowly feeling pain in your stomach as it grumbles for a meal.
'In a way, I feel bad for those that do have to starve, especially if they are trying to kill themselves and are too afraid to use a noose or be set on fire. What a pity, so you have my sympathy for your poor mother that died due to such a thing. Although, I couldn't find anything about a father, perhaps you know about that...and please....do not yell at me this time."
Blacky wanted to yell, but he didn't want to do so, so he simply pulled his anger back and calmly said to TF, "Well...I am not sure either. All I know is that she was once married, but she never told me what happened. She only told me when I was young, when I was...four...that she was once married, but I wouldn't understand the rest. Aside from that, I don't care, more than likely he was a dead beat anyways. So, that is all I have to say to you. And as for my real name...my mom named me Moon Bright.
'She gave it to me because I was as bright as the moon in her eyes, granted I'm not sure if that has anything to do with my cutie mark, but...that doesn't matter to me...she gave me that name and it's a special name that I will forever hold in my heart. Now...if I didn't owe you, I would ask you to leave me sight before I put a bullet into your skull. But the thing is...I hate being in debt to others, no matter how big the debt is or how small it is, so I'll do it as you say and go with you and your little group.
'But let me make this clear to you...I may lie sometimes...I may sometimes try to fake my ego sometimes...but let this be known on this day forward...you never...ever...say a word about my mom. I know it may sound ridiculous to just even speak about her, but to me...she was everything...and I don't want others talking about it...and besides, we all have things that we don't want to talk about. So we don't talk about whatever you don't want to talk about...and you don't talk about my mom...got it?"
TF then said simply without making an expression on his face, "I understand, although now I see why you need to fake an ego sometimes...you look weak when you're trying to defend her, especially since she is dead after all, so I can see why you need to try and look tough in front of the others now, so you don't show any sign of weakness at all. In your world, if you show a sign of weakness, then you might as well be as good as dead...for a Stallion that is...but do not worry...your secret is safe with me."
Blacky then said, "And what makes you think that I could trust you?"
TF then sad, "Oh I know a lot of secrets...secrets that would be best kept away from every other ponies around here...especially the two sisters. I know a lot of secrets Blacky...and trust me...you wouldn't want to know what I know. Not because it is horrifying, but because you simply couldn't process it in your mind, all you really can do is just simply try and understand it the best you could...but you can't...I know it because only a few know what I know."
Blacky then said as he finished his glass of apple cider, "Understandable. Now...let me pay what I owe and we can leave. Hey! What do I owe you?"
The bar tender told Blacky, "21 Bits."
Blacky then said, "Alright, I can spare that, just let me try to find my..."
TF then said, "Hold it...you're working for me and that means I am your boss. And as your boss, I could either be a good boss or a bad boss. And since I want to be a good boss to you, let me pick up the tab."
So TF said to the bar tender, "Excuse me, I might go to my cart and grab the amount that I owe you. I do not have enough on me."
So TF excused himself and went back outside to grab what he needed while Blacky sat there at the counter. Soon TF came back with the twenty one bits and the tab was then paid.
TF then looked at Blacky and TF then said, "What?"
Blacky then said, "What is your name?"
TF then said, "Well...I don't have a normal name like every other pony here, but I do have one. It's what I said earlier, TF."
Blacky then asked him, "Huh...so what does the TF stand for?"
TF then said, "The Forgotten. Granted I think I should have went with The Forgotten One, but it sounded good at the time, not only to mention it fits what happened to me in the past."
Blacky then said, "So you were forgotten?"
TF then explained, "You can say that. But none of that matters now, before we do leave...I want to see how your shooting is. Do you mind?"
Blacky then said, "Of course not...let's head on outside; I'll show you."
TF then said right as they were getting up, "I do expect to be dazzled you know?"
Blacky then said as they were walking outside to the shooting range, "Oh trust me TF, you will be more than just dazzled, I'm one of the best out there that can hold a gun and shoot straight. But I'm sure as these guns become more widespread throughout Equestria, there will be more competition, but as of right now, I'm your best shooter that you got."
TF then said as they went out the door, "Oh I beg to differ. I have found another one...maybe two that was good with a gun just like you...in fact I already have them on board." And soon they got to the small shooting range and so Blacky was standing in front of the bottles as TF was standing to the sides. Both went silent when they got there and Blacky had his handgun out, which was made of pure silver and he was holding it with his left hoof. It wasn't near hisface, so he was like other ponies, shooting from the hip. So TF then said, "So go ahead...what are you waiting for? Show me what you've got Blacky." Blacky then said, "Oh I'll show you alright."
And so Blacky booked at the bottles and then was aiming at the bottles, but not for too long. And then a sound could be heard through the cold winter air. The sound of a shot.
BACK IN THE PRESENT:
Shots were heard within the group. Sky was holding Blacky's rifle while on his stomach as Sky was trying to shoot at a specific maker on a nearby tree that Blacky had made on for target practice.
However, the bullet that Sky fired didn't hit the mark and the bullet barely hit the edge of the tree too. Also...hello...we're back once again to the present, I know that flashback was weird to me...I mean...it had nothing to do with me and usually I would just explain it...but for some reason I wrote it...oh well...this is just a story to be told so I guess no harm done. I mean I should try to tell the story how I see fit...and this is how I see fit. I mean sure I could give into The Cow Tippers demands and write like Shakespeare...or I could give them the middle finger and write how I want to write it.
I mean sure I could write it as if this wasn't a life story, but more instead of a little fairy tale, a little storybook that I'm writing and pretend that it has nothing to do with me whatsoever...but it does and I don't give a fuck. So...let me be on my way on continuing the story of my life.
I know I keep saying it but The Cow Tippers have a lot of bullshit in their ears...and eyes so this is just for them for their shake. So...you know...Cow Tippers only...I guess. Anyways, back to the present, well it's not really the present. I mean me writing this would be the present, but the present for you is when you're reading this, this is just events that occurred years ago but in the time that I am telling my story, this would be considered the present. Now that I think about it, it is a bit odd that I am telling my story from many years ago.
Now that I mention it, I now realize how long it has been. Oh those were the days of old...even if they were fucked up in some sort of way, they were good times. Granted that was years ago for me, in fact, when I look through those portals to give you the details, it's like looking at memories past, an old film reel of old memories, but shit changes I guess, and I suppose you'll see why soon enough why shit changes.
Anyways, where was I? Or yeah...the part where Blacky is teaching Sky how to shoot, starting with Blacky's rifle.
So when Sky made that shot and missed his target, Blacky then said while looking at the target and pointing with his hoof, "No no no Sky. You're doing it wrong. You can't just aim, you need to relax, don't fight the rifle. Not only to mention we're only about twenty, twenty five feet away from the target so this shouldn't be too hard for you. And another thing Sky, don't close one of your eyes, keep both eyes open, it helps out sometimes."
Sky then looked a little worried and he then said, "Are you sure about this Blacky?"
Blacky then said, "Well for starters, you're a beginner, so before you get to the advanced lessons, you need to be comfortable with the rifle and relax. Take deep breaths and stay calm. However, since you're new and all, you need to know that everypony has their style. Some might want to stand up and shoot while others like to go in a prone position. So until you can find how you like to shoot, we're just trying to start out slow and easy for you. Now remember it's not going to happen overnight, so don't beat yourself up if you can't hit your target before we leave this spot."
Sky then had a little smile form on his face, as in he felt a warm flow through his body, a pleasurable one at that because he felt he was among friends that were willing to help him out despite him being the weak one.
Sky then said, "Yes sir."
Then Sky went back to aiming and looking down the iron sights, but this time with both eyes open. And soon Blacky awaited Sky's next shot. Sky aimed up his next shot, taking it slow and steady. Sky was careful to not struggle so much with the rifle, and when Sky thought he was ready, he pulled the trigger and a shot could be heard, not too loud that it could be heard from thousands of miles away, but long enough to where I could have heard it.
But I didn't...because I was tired at that point in time so I just ignored it. When Sky pulled the trigger, the rifle of course pulled back, you know, that recoiled shit and it pulled back with force. As for the bullet, the bullet hit a little bit closer to the target this time compared to the last time, but he was still far off though.
Both Blacky and Sky saw this and Sky felt a little disappointed, but Blacky put a hoof on his shoulder and he said to him, "Don't worry, just keep practicing."
Sky then asked, "Hey...what should I do about when the gun kind of...pushes back after I shoot it?"
Blacky then said, "The recoil? Don't worry about that right now, we'll get to that say later tonight, if possible; besides it's not like you're going to be shooting any pony today, so just relax about it."
Snow then came up to Blacky and he said to Blacky with a hint of worry in his voice, "Blacky, can I talk to you in private for a moment?"
Blacky then said, "Sure, keep practicing Sky until I get back, got it?"
Sky then said as he was looking down the iron sight, "Yes sir."
Blacky then quietly nodded his head and soon Snow and Blacky were off. They didn't walk too far, only a few feet, however they were far enough from the group to where the others couldn't hear them.
And on top of Sky practicing and the sound of thunder in the air as Sky pulled the trigger, it helped a little bit.
When Blacky and Snow were far away enough, Blacky asked Snow, "What do you need to talk about?"
Snow then said, "Well...I'm not sure how to put this lightly here...but I suspect we have a traitor amongst us my dear friend."
Blacky was confused, he didn't know what he was talking about, so he then asked Snow, "What are talking about Snow? Are you saying someone is going to kill all of us or something?"
Snow then said, "Not exactly, but you're not far from the truth that I suspect. You see, we have what we call back home a trickery. As in someone is hiding within the group that is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Someone is planning on killing us, but that's all. The reason why this pony wants us all dead because of some boss they have, but I'm not sure who. I'm not sure what either, although I suspect that we know something...all of us know something that we shouldn't know."
Blacky didn't look convinced, his face said that and so Blacky then said to Snow, "Are you sure that's what it is Snow? I mean are you even sure about any of this?"
Snow then said to Blacky, "Trust me my friend, I do not lie to those that are my allies, and right now I'm suspecting somepony here is hiding something that we don't know."
Blacky then asked Snow, "And just how do you know this exactly?"
Snow then said to Blacky, "Well...when we stopped to take a break when were following Knight and when he stopped at that hotel, I went to go to the bathroom a bit away from the group, the same place where every other pony went to the bathroom at. And not too far from the spot where I was at, I found a piece of paper. I'm not sure who wrote it, but it was a message to somepony that we all must die, so someone in the group is planning to kill us all."
Blacky then said, "So where's the paper?"
Snow then took out a piece of paper by placing his right hoof in his bag thingy...you know...I mean...ok Cow Tippers...I'll give you this one...maybe I didn't exactly go into great detail about Snow's clothing.
So obviously we all know his outfit was great, his mask which didn't have any hole for his mouth, just for his eyes. We also know that there was something to hold his sniping gun on his back, but he was also wearing military style clothing, and this included compartments for ammo and such, you know like pockets....there I think that would take care of it...you happy now Cow Tippers...well are you?
If not then you better watch your back then...I know what you did last summer...you fucked a duck you mother fuckers...and I've got the proof too. I was there when you Cow Tippers were at your local lake and you performed the ancient ritual of fucking the duck...and you fucked that duck's brains out...literally...you came everywhere....there was so much cum that the duck's eye sockets just filled with so much cum that the eyeballs popped out. You fucked that duck so hard that you scrambled its eggs...you even committed pedophilia by fucking the baby ducks too you sickos.
Anyways, Snow took his right hoof, grabbed the piece of paper from his pocket thingy...you know what I said, and handed it...hoofed it...whatever the term is, to Blacky. Blacky then took a look at it and as he read on.
-------------------------------------------
I need you to do what we talked about. What we discussed back on that night. These ponies will know too much, so they must be put down after they have served their purpose. This is the group, yourself included. Remember...you owe me.
Blacky
Mr. Brown
Pink
Sky
Star Glitter
Snow
TF
Remember, not everyone on this list will die, remember the names that I told you who to kill. And after this you'll be free to leave and be set free. But if you mess up, you will perish along with the others.
Good Luck...
Meet at the cabin with the others early in the morning.
And oddly enough, underneath was something that was written in a crazy type style:
Wow, Fuck him, he sees the dead, he broke up now it makes me snap.
Now...whatever that line meant...possibly meant something that no one will ever care about. Oh who the fuck am I kidding...the fucking Cow Tippers will obviously care enough, it's just that there was a meaning behind that, just not right now.
I mean one thing you've got to learn Cow Tippers and that is patients...you've got to learn and wait...got it y mother fucking Cow Tippers? I'm getting to it when I get to that part on my life....oh some shit like that.
His face started to fill with worry, and then he gave the paper back to Snow to put it back where he had put it at before.
Blacky then said to Snow, "You're sure...this is one hundred percent true?"
Snow then said, "Like I said before my friend...I wouldn't lie to my allies. Watch your back Blacky, there is a wolf among us."
Snow then walked away to go back with the others and Blacky just stayed there in his little area.
He then said to himself, "Son of a bitch...who's trying to kill us?"
So Blacky then looked around and then started to look at everyone in the group. He first looked at Sky, and then stared at him.
He then said, "Could it be him I wonder? Well, he did sort of come out of nowhere, but then again if he is being ordered to kill us, it would have to come from TF. TF is the one that brought us all together, so in the end it would most likely be him, he would be the higher up one here, but who is he ordering. It could be Sky, TF could just have lied about Sky and Sky just put on an act to deceive all of us. He is the one who is the odd one out. But then again just the way he acted at the train tracks, he doesn't seem to be the killing type. So really, he's just a harmless pony."
Next, Blacky looked at Star and he then said to himself, "Then there's Star. She seems obvious enough to say that it could very well be her, but then again ponies shouldn't assume. Not only to mention there's little evidence pointing to her, just the suspicion stands tall is all. So for all I know Star is an ally, but it's only a guess."
Blacky then took a look at Snow, "Then what about him? Snow is the one who brought it up to me, possibly to make me cross him off the list of suspects. But then again I know where he comes from, and that country they are loyal to their friend and allies, so maybe he isn't the traitor amongst us. Then again I could be wrong."
He then took a look at the brother and sister. He then said to himself, "What about those two? Well...it's possible, but from the way that they acted, it's safe to say that it wouldn't be them, but then again no pony should underestimate other ponies. You may never know what the truth is, and right now even though it doesn't seem it would be those two...I should still suspect them. It's just that the probability of it being one of those two is low."
Then Blacky took a look at TF and he then said to himself, "But what about him. TF could just be acting on his own...he is the one pulling the strings around here. In a way we're his puppets, so he could just easily make us turn on each other or kill us somehow. Then again it is hard to tell if he is the traitor not considering how he acted. He seems to be a gentlecolt type, but with a hint of insanity in it."
Blacky then looked at everyone else all at once and then said to himself, "But when I look at the whole picture here, anypony could be lying here. It could be anypony here. Then again who is to say it couldn't be me? Perhaps someone is planning on drugging me, in which case I'll kill everypony here in some sort of way that has something to do with the drug. Then again I doubt that would be the case, but it's still a possibility. I'm not sure what is going to happen now that I've read that paper. I just need to do what Snow said, watch my back."
Blacky then started to walk back to the others.
He went back to where Sky was with a face that said, 'Oh fuck man! We're fucking fucked two ways from Sunday man! We're fucking doomed! That's it man! Game fucking over! I mean we're done, no more of us man! Man I am or something? I mean...man we're fucked! What are we going to do now?! I mean we were fine just a minute ago, but now we're screwed! Screwed I say! It's the end of the world for us, we're going to be in Death's arm soon enough and we're not going to be alive soon! I mean, we're going to be among the dead man! Oh man this is not good man! MAN! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!'
You know that kind of face that says that. That face that everyone knows about.
Anyways, Sky looked back as Blacky and made his way back and he saw the way his face was, so he became a little worried and asked him, "Uhh...Blacky...is everything alright?"
Blacky then responded with, "Yeah...sure...don't worry about anything, just worry about practicing your aim. So...you hit the target yet or you still missing?"
Sky then said, "Well, I was able to hit the outer edge of the target, but barely though."
Blacky then said, "Well that's good, you'll get the hang of it eventually...just keep practicing and one day you'll get it.."
Sky then went back to looking down the iron sight and as he was doing so, he asked Blacky, "So Blacky...if to say I wanted to get a gun for myself, where would I go about buying one? Not only to mention how much getting one cost anyways?"
Blacky answered Sky with, "Well for one thing they're somewhat pricy, depending on which model you get that is. The cheapest one I think is three hundred bits I believe, it's not powerful or anything like that, just a small handgun. But as for about going to get one, you might have to travel far for one, only a few places sell them in Equestria, and they're small shops too.
'Well some of them at least are, some you can only get from just knowing the right pony. Really it's hard to get a gun nowadays, but I'm sure as time goes on and when this becomes more localized, you'll be able to get one right in your hometown. Maybe right down your street from where you live too. But I'm sure by then the princesses will have noticed what is going on and they have made laws and regulate them, but I'm sure it will be fine."
Sky then looked a little surprised and then he asked Blacky, "Wait...the princesses don't know about guns yet?"
Blacky then said, "Sadly yes. You would think they would know this kind of stuff first hoof, but...they really don't."
Sky then asked, "Well...how do you know they don't know about it? It sounds too hard to believe."
Blacky then said, "Well for one thing they never mentioned it or have talked about laws or recognizing guns, and they would considering that guns are a game changer for Equestria. Not only to mention, guns can be rather dangerous...obviously...but what I'm talking about is what if a pony isn't right in the head and gets a gun and starts shooting up a place? Like if the pony decided to go to a school and kill a whole bunch of little colts and fillies or got to a movie theatre for a midnight premier or something like that and he kills most of the audience inside. If the gun falls into the wrong hooves, it can do some serious damage to Equestria. So either the princesses will try and ban them or regulate them some way. And to be quite honest with you, I wouldn't know what the best answer would be.
'I mean right now, this new invention is too new for us to understand. The entire country would need time to figure out and guess the right strategy on how to use it properly, but that's just for now. But if I had to choose a side, whether to ban them or to keep them, I would want to keep them, mostly because it makes my job a whole lot easier for old timers like me and to get rid of guns would be a shame. But that's just me.
'That and nothing major has happened yet in Equestria where a gun is used that grabs the princesses attention, so there's your evidence as to why royalty has no damn clue about what is going on in this world that we live in. But I'm going to guess at some point they will figure it out, but until then, we're going to pretend that it's a little secret amongst us ponies."
Sky then said as he was about to pull the trigger for his next shot on his target, "Huh...that's interesting..."
Soon Sky pulled the trigger and another sound of thunder could be heard through the cold air. The bullet flew through the air and soon landed right outside the target area. Sky could tell as the bullet hole hit the dark brown tree bark and was outside the target area that Blacky made for him by carving it with his knife.
Sky then said to himself, "Darn it! Why do I keep missing!?"
Blacky then said as he put his right hoof on Sky's shoulder, "Now relax Sky. You're doing fine for your first time, you just need to keep practicing...ok?"
Sky then said, "Alright...I just can't get a handle on this thing."
Blacky then said to Sky, "That's alright...how about we take break from the rifle and start practicing with a normal handgun?"
TF then said, while not looking at them but more or less standing near the edge of a slope that made its way to the train tracks as TF was using his binoculars and looking to his right of the tracks, "You might want to hold it and come back to that later Sky...Knight is on his way."
Blacky then asked TF as he was looking to keep track of me, "So we're going to finally kill him...right? I mean we've been tracking him down, with him not even knowing which means we have the advantage over him. Not only to mention we've been following him for hours, so this is it...right? Snow can use his rifle and take him out right now and we can all go home."
TF then said while still looking through his binoculars, "Not quite Blacky. We still need to chase him down into the forest."
Blacky then asked, "The forest?"
Then Blacky looked far into the distance in front of TF. So basically here's a basic layout of the land. There was TF's group, they were at a higher elevation, another hill in a way, but in front of TF was a long slope down to the ground that was the same elevation as the train tracks. Granted the hill was in the distance, but not too far from the track. Then you had nothing but dirt between the slope and the train tracks.
Then continuing to the right, you had more dirt, but eventually you got to some grass, which was covered in snow at this point with open fields with a clean, untouched blanket of snow covering it all.
It is as big and wide open that anything could happen, but if you continued more to the right, which in this case was going North I believe, you eventually hit a wall of trees, just a bunch of them basically making a forest. Not the Everfree Forest, but just a forest that the train usually passed all the time.
And deep within that forest lied whatever it had. So that was the layout that Blacky was seeing and the forest was far into the distance. As he was staring into the forest, he could hear a bird caw in the distance. A scarecrow I think.
Blacky looked at it in awe, but not the good kind of awe, the bad kind where you go, 'Oh no of a monkey's uncle bitch. Oh heeeeeeeell no! I ain't doing that shiiiiiiiit! I'm black and I don't have to listen to a damn thing that you say. There is no way in heeeeeeeeeell that I'm going to do that one specific thing that you're telling me to do. I mean this is buuuuuuuuullsiiiiiiiiiiit. You hear me nigger!?'
Oh my god...stop the presses...I said the N word....and I'm not a zebra....I just wrote it down in my thingy...and yet...an angry army of Zebras isn't coming for me....wow...saying word nigger isn't that...special now that I think about it. I mean for my whole life I was taught to never say it...but now that I'm writing it down...saying it...I feel...nothing. Well I just wasted many years of my life of forbidding myself to not saying the word nigger. Wow...I feel like an idiot, oh well, but you get the point though that's the bad kind of awe that I was referring to.
Well, Blacky then said, "You're kidding...right? I mean what the fuck do you want to do with him! Chase him down until he can no longer walk!? I mean what in the name of Celestia do you want to do with him!? I mean he could have been killed at the train crash, and again here we can just kill him!"
TF then said calmly, "Well you sort of have the idea, but not until he can no longer walk. The plan is we're going to chase him into that forest and then the games can begin."
Blacky then walked closer to TF and got near him and then said, "And what does that mean TF?"
TF then answered back with, "Why...we're going to hunt him down like an animal in those woods, he'll be running for his life, afraid. He is on his own and doesn't have his friend to help him out...to protect him...so he'll be all alone in the woods... alone. And not only to mention with what happened at the castle last night for him, he must be very tired by now. And now he's going to be tired and scared. Granted, I think he was already scared a little last night at the castle if I had to guess.
'Just think about it for a moment, Knight was at the castle the entire night, things were destroyed with his little friend they did together, not only to mention I saw them split up when they entered the castle. And since that castle is old and has quite the history to it, it must have been a little scary for him to wonder the halls of the castle late at night, where things are supposed to be dangerous and scary. And now he's going to go deep into the forest and find himself all alone with no help at all...with us hunting him down. In other words...he'll be scared for sure...isn't that wonderful?"
Blacky remained speechless, he had no idea how to respond with that considering with that was going to happen to me next. I mean to him, he just wanted to get the job over and done with. To him it was a waste of his time, especially since they had me right in their grasp and could easily end my life. However, TF wasn't budging and wanted to keep going.
To him it was an annoyance. However, he had to do what he had to do, so Blacky just walked back to Sky and grabbed his gun and brought it to the cart without a word. However he didn't do it with an attitude or anything like that, he did it calmly though. Sky on the other hand just stood there and watched as Blacky did what he did.
After Blacky had put his gun away, he then asked TF, "So...what's the plan then?"
TF then finally looked away from the binoculars and started to walk towards the cart and said as he was doing so, "Snow is going to be in the back, but near the driver's seat. I need Snow to take his rifle out and start aiming at Knight and shooting at him, but not actually hitting of course, just shoot near him to get him scared.
'As Snow is doing so, Blacky and Star are pulling the cart downhill, so while we're going downhill, Snow is shooting. Knight should see us from a distance and hear the gun shots coming his way, so that should scare him enough to start running the other direction into the forest. We'll chase him down until he moves into the forest, from there we'll move on hoof and then the real fun begins from there. Understood?" Blacky looked a little worried, so he then spoke up, Uhh...yeah...why do I have to pull the cart with Star?"
TF then looked at Blacky and he asked him, "Yes...do you have a problem with her?"
Blacky then said, "Yeah...she creeps me out...especially since she doesn't talk."
TF then said, "Blacky...you worry too much...Star won't bite you...will you Star?"
Blacky then looked at Star and Star just had a blank stare at Blacky, not moving or anything of the sort...just staring at him with dead eyes.
Blacky then said, "I hope so."
Sky then spoke up, "Yeah...I have a question TF...doesn't this seem a little bit cruel? I mean isn't it bad enough we made him go through a train crash, made him walk this far with no help at all and on his own, and now we're going to scare him to go into the forest and hunt him down like an animal...all while he's cold and scared, possibly even hungry...especially with what he's been through last night at the castle? I mean don't get me wrong, I understand he's the bad guy here and all...but..doesn't this seem too much? I mean can't we at least offer him some mercy?"
TF then went up to Sky and put a hoof on his shoulder and said to him nicely, "Listen Sky...I understand that you have a good heart...a gentle one...a fragile one at that. But this is what it means to be tough Sky. This is what it means to be a real Stallion, to show that you're strong. I understand your concerns Sky, but this pony right here...even though he might deserve mercy...we cannot show any weakness towards him Sky...you understand...yes? I mean this is why you came on this trip...you knew you were weak and you wanted to be strong...to protect your girl...correct?"
Sky then said, "Well yeah...but still...I mean we're ponies...and even though we might not always be the most kindest creatures there is in this world, we still have harmony in our hearts, our souls, we're still nice and friendly creatures. If we were always this cruel, the windigoes would have killed us by now. In a way, what those Elements of Harmony has taught us is that we as ponies can have kindness in our hearts, show a little magic in a way. In a way...friendship is magic...so maybe...instead of hunting him down...we can offer him kindness and mercy, maybe you can be friends again with him."
TF just stared straight into his eyes, not showing any emotions other than a blank stare...as if he was looking into his soul.
However, TF had thought while he was saying all of this, 'I knew you should not have come along on this journey Sky...I knew it...you were weak when I met you and you're weak now. How sad...perhaps I could have made a real tough pony out of you by the end of your journey...but I can see now that you stick to your nature, your true nature that is, the nature is within your heart. But don't worry my dear Sky...I still have time for you and I to spend together. I can still go along with my plan that I have in mind for you. I might not be planning on killing the others, but for you Sky, it does not change. For you Sky, you will be thanking me in the end, for I will set you free from your little cage from within.
'I'll let your true nature out. I have no clue what Knight saw in that pony show of his...perhaps it was that all of these ponies show innocence like a child and therefore he wanted to be one once more...but perhaps not...perhaps he really wanted to have peace and this was the perfect place to be. No matter, all of these ponies will be set free from their cages and only then they will see a new way to live life, they will all burn...and soon they will be killing each other on the inside as they slowly are headed to the slaughterhouse.
'These other ponies, the bounty hunter and the sniper...these ponies are already free from their cages...they have been for years, I had nothing to do with it...but you Sky...you'll be the first that I set free...you'll be the first pony to lose his mind, but yet at the same time see a new light, a different kind of light you can say...and the rest will follow shortly afterwards. I know this is all in my head...but Sky...enjoy your sweet friendship and magic or whatever you call it...enjoy it while it lasts...I'll show you who you really are and what you can be on the inside soon...I'll break that code of harmony that you have that you follow soon...and in the end you'll be the first to burn.'
After TF had thought that and after what Sky said, Sky asked after TF was silent for a bit, "Uhh...TF...you got any of that?"
TF then said to him, "Yes...yes I did my friend, and I understand Sky. I completely understand, but YOU must understand that this isn't about friendship anymore...it's too late for that. But I'll tell you what...when we kill him...you can look away...and if you cry...you always have a shoulder to cry on as well. Understood?"
Sky looked unease, he didn't like hearing that they wanted to torture me in a way...sure he got that I was a bad guys, as he thought that I was one, needed to be put down in some way, but within his nature, he didn't exactly wanted me to die...but more or less be punished in a reasonable sense. But, he was not in control, so he had to let whatever happen...happen, however in his mind he only hoped that it will go fast and not slow and painful.
Sky silently nodded his head up and down and TF saw and said, "Good..."
TF then looked towards to the rest of the group, "As for the rest of you, quickly gather your things! Snow, get on the cart and have your sniper rifle ready to shoot! Blacky and Star, get strapped in and be ready to run fast to pull the cart! Mr. Brown and Pink, get your shit together...and please...no arguing..."
Mr. Brown then said to TF, "Well you tell that to her and..."
TF cut him off and he then said next, "I said...no arguing...now hurry up and let's get moving, Knight is almost within our sights."
And so everyone did their job as what they were told to do. Blacky and Star got strapped into pull the cart, although Blacky looked a bit scared since he was right next to Star. Snow got up onto the cart and got his sniper rifle...thingy set up, granted it was going to be a bumpy ride downhill a little, so he would have to wing it mostly and hoped that he would be able to shoot around my area to scare me off into the forests.
As for the two siblings, they got on and complained to each other through mumblings while Sky looked a little depressed as he got onto the back of the cart last. He had a sad face on, since he didn't feel exactly right what was going to happen next, almost as if he was regretting his decision on going on this trip. TF then looked at everyone and nodded his head to show that everything was checked.
TF then headed back to where he was with the binoculars before and looked for where I was at, and he saw me and was just about ready to go to ambush me...attack me...whatever it is called.
BACK TO KNIGHT:
Finally...back to my side of the story, I mean it was ok with TK's side back when I was writing about the castle part...but this is ridiculous. I mean this all about me...mostly..about my life...but yet here I am writing to you about TF...but I suppose you do need to hear his side of the story...so go figure I guess. It only makes sense...to the Cow Tippers...Well...maybe but I mean it makes sense to others but...look you get the fucking idea.
Anyways, it's back to my part again, hopefully longer...but then again I know what happened so guess it isn't much but whatever. Anyways, where was I before what TF was doing and such? Well...I was walking the fucking train tracks...that's what.
You know what happened too...I was walking, it was all nothing but dirt for miles until the area started to get cold and I was heading North on the tracks so it was a little snowy...well a lot snowy...but then I came to a turn and then started to head West or South West in a way, so I was starting to get out of the snowy regions.
As for what I saw as I was walking...I saw nothing but snow. Nothing interesting at all, just pure white snow is all that I saw. Well I might have saw a snow pony as I was walking by, but that's about it. I get it, you need more details and shit like you fucking Cow Tippers...but there isn't. Nothing happened, there was some trees, I might have heard a bird or two, and the sun was pretty much starting to show that it was starting its descent to the ground, although technically I'm pretty sure Celestia was doing that somehow...maybe I'm not sure how it works with Celestia and Luna raising the sun and moon every day.
I mean the sun shows sign of it moving on its own a little bit, but I'm guessing that it mostly goes down faster with Celestia doing something while Luna is raising the moon. Oh well, that's about all the details that I can say that I came across, so I was heading down Southwest and was minding my own business. I was walking along the tracks, I didn't even hear anything not even trains were coming by, more than likely the train accident was heard about and so all trains were stopped by that point more than likely.
I was walking along the tracks, looking at the ground and sort of kicking a small rock that I found and kicked as I went along with walking the trails...the tracks, whatever you get the idea and just staying quiet until I got back home. And I would have made it too, but I had to make a little detour. Why you may ask?
Well you're about to find out. So there I was, walking down the train tracks, in that area that I was talking about, didn't hear any gun shots or any of that sort. But then with the corner of my eye, I saw something from that hill coming down. So I turned my head to the left and saw something in the distance. I squinted but I couldn't make out what it was aside it from being a cart.
Anything beyond that I could make out, it was just too far for me to see, so after I saw that and saw it was coming down towards where I was, I said to myself, "What the hell is that? I think that's...a cart...well it better not be another one of those petti coat junction ponies...well I don't think so..well maybe I can hitch ride with them..my hooves are starting to feel a little tired by now from all that walking."
So I then raised my right hoof high into the air and I then shouted out towards the cart that was coming towards me kind of fast down that slope that I mentioned earlier, "Hey! Over here! Can I hitch a ride with you! Don't worry I'm not black...I won't mug you! And I'm not a weirdo too...kind of! And if you're a mare...I won't rape! Just trust me I'm not an alcoholic! Just...get your asses over here and help me please!"
I then said quietly to myself, "Well nice going Knight...I think I just screwed up there with the hitching a ride part..."
However I was then startled by a gun shot.
My eyes opened big and I then said, "Whoa!? What the.,.."
I was then cut off by another gunshot and as the cart came closer, I saw that a pony had a sniper rifle thingy and was aiming at my head.
I then said, "Oh fuck..."
So I then turned the other direction and started to run, considering that if I continued to go along the tracks, they would catch up to me and kill me, so my only chance of losing them was in the forest way to the North of me. So I quickly turned around and started to gallop as fast as I could. And as I was doing so, as I could hear the next gunshot being close to me.
However, with what was happening in the cart real quick, TF had said, "Hold your fire! We've got him running! Blacky! Star! Try to slow down a little, we don't need to catch up to him, we just need him running into that forest, so just tail him...got it!?"
Blacky then said, "Yes sir!"
And Star didn't say anything. So I ran. Eventually I got onto the grass area, the area that was covered in pure white blanket of snow. When I touched it, it was of course cold, but not too cold and I could tolerate it.
As for it how deep it was, it wasn't that deep. Only an inch or two but I could run in it. So I ran and aimed for my destination which was that forest in the distance. It seemed far...really far, but I had to keep going, for my own survival. I mean what else was I going to do...make friends with them? I didn't think so. They were fucking shooting at me.
So I ran and with every gallop I got a little bit closer to those woods. I could feel myself starting to breath heavily, my legs starting to feel tired, and the wind brush against my short mane. However I made sure I didn't slow down, so I pushed forward and continued to run. I didn't hear any gunshots, but they were starting to feel like they were gaining up on me, so I did something that I thought would slow them down.
I took a left turn, a big one at that, so the cart would of course had to slow down. So I did and was heading in the direction of what the train tracks was leading me, and as for the cart, well it had to make a quick turn, but when it did, it drifted, but it slowed the cart down and gave myself a lot of time. It was then starting to pick up speed and I was halfway there, so next I made a big right turn and once again I was headed for the forest which all was nothing but dead branches and no leaves of course.
Well, once more the cart had to turn and Blacky said out loud, "He's trying to lose us sir! What do we do!?"
TF then said to Blacky, "Just keep following his trail, he won't get away from us that easily, even if we are far apart, we'll find him one way or another!"
And so I kept running, but I was only halfway there and I started to feel tired and wanted to collapse, but I kept powering through the snow. It was starting to get a bit harder of course, but I had to keep going if I wanted to survive. So I just kept heading straight once more.
I kept moving through the two inches of snow, the same amount that will make everyone panic and think it's the end of the world in the state of Georgia.
Because to them...just having once inch of snow equals to a blizzard to them. Then everyone has to eat their pets and their children just to survive the harsh two inches of snow, and the sad thing is...those two inches of snow is longer than their dicks in Georgia... It is only common sense. Anyways, I was running straight and luck was sort of on my side as I was running, about three fourths of the way there, I saw a cute little white snow bunny in front of me.
He had fluffy fur and a cute small little tail and was completely innocent. It wasn't hurting anyone, just trying to do bunny stuff, which may or may not include taking the president of the United States hostage and then nuking Jamaica...it's ultimate diabolical plan for world domination...so you know...keep that in mind. Well, I saw it, and I slightly jumped over it, you know to avoid it, but for the cart...it ran over it and instantly killed the cute little white bunny.
Its guts was splattered everywhere mostly the intestines...the long one. And it covered the wheel in blood and guts. And luckily for the cart hitting the bunny, it threw the cart off course a little bit as it made the cart a bit wobbly and slowed it down just enough for me to pick up the pace and gain more distance between the two.
I looked behind myself and I had a little grin form across my face and I said to those fuckers on the cart, "TAKE THAT YOU MONKEY UNCLE FUCKERS!"
And then another bullet tried to shoot at me, but instead landed near me, in which case I gave out a little scream and turned my attention back to going to the forest instead.
So I was almost there, granted, I was at this point needed to catch my breath. I mean I was an ok runner, granted back on Earth I was a terrible runner, but thanks to TK training me back in the earlier days of being outside of the universe, I was able to do better, but not the greatest though. In a way it's like military style training that TK did to me, so I was ok at running, but like I said not the greatest, so I was starting to feel like I was going to go limping at any moment, which would lead me to falling down and wanting tons of water and a few minutes to catch my breath.
But I couldn't let that happen. I knew I had to push through, even though I brought myself some time already with making the sharp turns and having that lucky bunny die for me...but don't worry...it died for your bunny sins. And to the bunny...Bugs Bunny was god...and he was going to a better place...where Bugs will rape him by having anal sex with him with his carrot shaped dick...that is made out of carrots.
In a way...carrots are nature's anal beads. Anyways, I knew I just needed one more thing to throw them off, but I wasn't sure if they were going to go for another one of my sharp turns, but I then spotted a rock, not too big to where they would notice it, but not too small where it wouldn't throw their cart off. Granted the rocks wasn't wide, so the chances are of the cart hitting the rock was sort of slim, but acceptable.
So I just went and past it and just hoped it would throw them off somehow, and to my luck, maybe because of the Universe, as they were chasing me, one of the cart's wheels went over the rock and it tipped over to the side and it brought me a lot of time. I looked back and had a smile on my face as I neared the entrance to the woods and had brought myself a lot of time. As for them...
TF's GROUP:
Yup...back to their group...again. Anyways, this part won't take too long. Anyways, the cart tipped over, and for once it wasn't caused by a group of Cow Tippers...so I can't believe that I'm saying this...but...give yourself a pat on the back and have yourself a gold sticker because you Cow Tippers got lucky and earned it...because you're 'Special!' Hooray for you guys. For once you guys were not responsible for 9/11!
I mean we need to celebrate...where's Pinkie Pie when you need her? This needs a celebration right now...we need to celebrate that for once the Cow Tippers didn't tip something over! Know what? I've got it! How about you get two star stickers...a GOLD one!
I know...I'm spoiling you Cow Tippers, but hey you've earned it...so good job and shit like that. Anyways, the cart had tipped over and the ones in the back along with TF fell into the snow.
With the ones pulling the cart, Blacky was on his side in the snow, while Star was on top of him...in a non-sexual position of course. But after a few seconds after the crash, Star quickly got up and got out of the thing that you put on to pull the cart.
As for everyone else, they quickly got out while Blacky tried his best to get up and unhook himself. TF got up from the snow and was a little wet from it, well everyone was a little wet from being in the snow.
TF got up and he then said to everyone in the group, "Quickly! Gather whatever you can gather, guns, bullets, whatever you can carry! Blacky! Once you get up, try and take the lantern with you and meet up with us later in the forest! Just try and follow the tracks, assumingly it doesn't get covered up later that is! The rest of you, we need to hurry up and go after him before he gets too far from us! Move it! Now!"
And everypony was then gathered all the little items they could carry. Sky had that saddlebag in the cart, so he took that and took whatever he could carry, with Snow, like I said before, he had his compartments, so he needed little from the cart aside from his rifle.
As for Mr. Brown and Pink, they had some picks with their coats so they gathered whatever little food items they could carry in their pockets. As for Star, she didn't do anything other than being right next to TF.
Once everyone seemed like that had what they could carry, TF then said next, "Leave the cart here of course! Now...after Knight!"
And then they all charged towards the forest and tried to go after me, but I was far away from them and had sort of covered up my tracks once I knew I was out of their sight. How you might ask? Well, thanks to the past me, the one back on Earth, I watched The Shinning,
where the little boy covered up his tracks in the maze by creating new ones and carefully stepping in his previous ones...I think that's how it went. Really I don't remember much from my past on Earth before the whole outside of the universe thing. I mean I don't even remember my old name, or my last name. I have even forgotten my parent's faces, anyone that I had associated with even.
Even my extended family members I had forgotten at this point, but you know...being over fifty thousand years old will do that to you, where you forget your past at some point. Granted that doesn't mean I had forgotten all of my past on Earth, I still remember the log cabin that I stayed at on the night that I saw that ball of light, but still, I had forgotten most of that past. If anything, the only identity that I know that I was Knight.
A somewhat lost soul that looked like a twenty one year old, that was really over fifty five thousand years old, that left Earth during his teenage years so I had still had some in me at that point. In a way...I was a mess, and technically speaking I am still now, but that's a different subject for another time. If anything, the identity of the past, before this whole thing started is mostly but a blur to me, a memory that is forgotten, but to me, I really don't care since it didn't offer me much, nor could I do as much as I could do now.
But that's beside the point. The point is, I remember enough from my past from living on Earth that I saw The Shinning to know how to cover up my tracks...I just hope who ever runs the Stanley Kubrick company, as in the company that sues the ever living shit out of you if you dare use their shit, doesn't come after me for doing that shit in the snow...but even if they did...I would find a way to 'blow' their mind. In other words I'll make them take a shotgun and blow their own heads off...I've got a similar plan set aside if a Hasbro lawyer ever came here and did the same thing.
All I know is that they name their lawyers A, B,C, and D and they're clowns...literally. They walk funny too...as well as talk funny. But that's because that's what Hasbro is...a joke. Anyways, I had covered up my tracks so they wouldn't be able to catch up to me for a good while, but as for Blacky, he was still stuck in the snow.
But it didn't take him long though to unhook himself and to get up. Granted when he tried standing up, he almost collapsed, but he picked himself back up and started to slowly walk to the back grabbed the lantern with his mouth.
However he was moving slow because he was old after all, so he couldn't take too much of a hit like that in the future, but he was tough so he would limp if he had to do so. Anyways...back to me...
BACK TO KNIGHT:
Yup, back to me once again...isn't this exciting? I mean we keep switching back and forth like I have a seizure or something. Well, not really, but with a seizure you would move around a lot...so that makes sense. Well I think...I don't know...I never had a seizure...although I may have caused one while working in Flash one time back on Earth one time in school, but that memory is mostly dead by now.
Like I said, all I know myself now is Knight, my old name is forgotten and erased permanently from my mind. That old me is dead, and the new one, well not the new new one, but the other me is Knight...but yet deep down in my soul I could feel like there is another part that I missing to the puzzle of who I really was, but we'll get to that at a later date...point..whatever you get the idea.
Anyways, I was deep in the forest, snow everywhere along with a bit of a rocky terrain. I had lost sight of the group a while back along with making tracks to throw them off, so I was safe to stand in one place to catch my breath. When I had made it to a safe spot, I had stopped running and was breathing heavily, granted not so heavy where it sounded like I was going to die or something like that, but I was still out of breath. I mean I wasn't from Kenya, what did you expect of me?
Anyways, I was looking down, trying to catch my breath, wanting to collapse. And soon my legs gave out and I fell onto my back, giving myself a little rest so I could keep going.
As I looked up, the sky was cloudy and grey. The tree branches had no leaves, so all of the trees were trees that you would commonly see in the winter assuming it wasn't a pine tree, or a palm tree if you live in Florida and you use that instead of a pine tree for Christmas, in which case if you're from Florida, then that means during the summer months you take that palm tree out, and fuck it for all to see out on your front lawn.
And during the Thanksgiving month, you make a blood sacrifice by sacrificing a naked homeless man that has escaped the local mental asylum for the almighty palm tree gods that will give you twice the Christmas presents on Christmas day. I also saw some bird that were black, so they were either black or just the color black, flying in the sky. They weren't vultures or anything like that, but they were circling around in the area. I could even hear them chirping away too.
I continued to lay there and as I did, I slowly caught my breath and was then soon relaxing. However I had to keep myself awake or else they would more than likely slit my throat while I was sleeping, so I got up and as I did, my legs felt a little sore, but I could keep going though with little to no problems. However I still needed to rest so I looked around and found a nearby log to sit on. It was covered in snow, so I went up to it and swiped the cold snow away with my right hoof clean off.
After that I plotted my pony ass on to it and I then remained calm while looking while trying to think of what I was going to have to do next. I sat there in silence, alone with my own thoughts.
For a moment, it felt like it was peaceful and quiet, no noise, no distractions, just me and my mind. But sadly certain things can still go wrong if it's just you and your mind. You could go slightly mad, or go insane. For me, I wasn't going insane, but something came out that I had thought was gone. When I thought all was quiet and no animals were stirring, I closed my eyes to try and think. I had thought to myself, 'Where are you TK? The moment that you leave is the moment that I need your help. I mean who was that was chasing after me?
Then again that pony did seem familiar. Wait a second....oh my god...it's TF...I wonder when he would show up again. I haven't seen him in person since I was back in college and he tried to break in and still kill me then, although technically the last time was in Manehatten with Factory Dash. But still, that is when we last met was at the college, I'm guessing he's still trying to kill me, but this time it looks like he has gathered a new group up.
What a surprise...then again I'll admit, I didn't see that ambush coming, and he definitely has me cornered by now considering that he pushed me into the forest, and more than likely it was him at the train crash site. So he certainly has me pinned down, but I'm sure I'll get through it. But only if you were here TK, it would make this so much easier and make this go so much faster.
I mean the moment that you leave is the moment that I need you the most. I mean I'm all alone and while I can take care of myself, I'll admit I am a little bit scared, but not too much though. But only if you were here TK...only if you were here.' Then I heard a voice right next to my ears. It sounded like TK.
The voice said, "Hello Knight..."
I opened my eyes and then looked towards my left, and there he was, dressed all in Black.
For a moment, I thought it was him and I said, "Oh thank god, you knew I was in...oh...it's you..."
What I didn't pay attention was that TK, at least as he is now, that TK isn't in complete black, sure he still has the suit which is complete black, but has a hint of dark-ish red to it to represent him being the devil and all of his universe. And for a moment I had forgotten that part and just wanted to really see him in my time of need, but another detail was off putting. This TK wasn't just completely black, but also had a black mist coming off from his cape, right then and there I recognized him as my dark side, Black.
I said to Black, "Aren't you're supposed to be in my head or something?"
Black then said as he was walking around, "You still think that I'm just a figment of your imagination...do you? Well let me tell you, I am not. I am your dark side, the darkness that swells within your heart, the part of you that is nothing but darkness, but is only trying to help you. And to be honest with you, sometimes the dark isn't so bad you know? Sometimes it can lead you to the light of what you desire...you just need to give in and have trust."
I then said to Black, "Yeah...and you were the one that kept telling me to kill the real TK and Factory Dash because they abandoned me back when I was spending my thirty thousand years alone."
Black then said as he was walking around, and keep in mind Black wasn't in a pony form, he was in normal human form as I was in my pony form, and as Black was walking black as the mist was radiating from his cape and other parts of his body as well.
Black then said to me, "He abandoned you Knight. He's not your friend, he is your creation and your creation disobeyed you. As a god...you should have punished him and took what he had, you deserved it after going through all of that hard work and bullshit that you had put up with after all. Not only to mention you went missing for about twenty thousand years while you were away in that other My Little Pony universe. And with Factory Dash...she doesn't like you obviously, so why keep them around if all they're going to do is disobey you and hate you?"
I then said to Black, "They're my friends, even if they don't act like it...or sound like it...or they don't want to be friends. If anything they are friends to me, well except for Factory Dash...she's a bitch. But she can still be helpful sometimes so it's worth it keeping her around. And besides, TF put me in that other My Little Pony universe...I'm sure you were there when that happened."
Black then said, "Oh I was...and it was atrocious. I remember every little detail. There you were, celebrating that you were finally free from your old world, you were no longer bound to your old home back on Earth. No more rules, you could be free and explore. You didn't have to worry about getting a career or going into debt for college like the rest. You had a chance to not end up like the others. The others back on Earth...all they did was wasted their lives away, their time, their precious time that they wasted away with job and careers that were meaningless.
'They could be making themselves better, perhaps evolving the human race...but what happened to them? They stood by how society was growing and changing and they all became blind and became animals. The dollar bill. Or whatever currency is in the other countries. They're slaves to that piece of paper with a number on it...you know that Knight. All they do is fight for it, that's it isn't it? In society back on Earth, you had to be the survival of the fittest, and it wasn't predatory skill, but more or less of how you can get the most money. And sadly they let it get out of control, and they all burned for it too. That's why you wanted to be free...to not end up like the others. you had a chance, you saw it, so you took it. To be free and not bound to the human race, but to be bound of what you find.
'And you celebrated that night Knight, you were happy. And as you were by yourself in the outside of the universe TF and his little gang of thugs came crashing through your little party and took out a gun and used a weak element that opened up another universe temporally and not permanently like you should do, and you ended up in a My Little Pony universe. There you fell from the skies, while TF ended somewhere nearby.
'And you could have fallen to your death...if it wasn't for the clouds that caught you. And soon you fell to the ground and deep within the Everfree Forest. And soon you discovered that you were a grey alicorn, a four year old to be exact. But you had no time to think about that as TF was on his way, and he was not a four year old, he was a full grown stallion, thirsty for your blood. And soon you took whatever was in the wreckage, the gun that you had on with you and made something out of it, a stun gun.
'But that back fired as it both harmed you and TF, but luckily for you, you ended up at the right place at the right time as the shot was strong enough to force you back a few feet. You ended up on a path that the Mane Six was on. And they saw you, brought you to Twilight's Castle, and there you were nursed back to health. The CMC was the first thing that you saw when you woke up too. You saw them and asked if you needed help getting your cutie mark, but soon they were pushed away, as they needed to ask you a few questions. For one thing...where did you come from?
'You were an alicorn, and alicorns were rare, so you must have been born to a powerful family of some sort. But yet, you were not. But soon hope came for you, you were one lucky son of a bitch that day Knight...there she was, the sun shining in the back of her, Princess Celestia walked through that door and said three words that would change you on that day, or at least for that time being that is: I'm adopting you. She adopted you and took you in as one of her own. She figured that you must had been abandoned by your real parents and felt pity for you, while also disgusted with your so called 'parents.' So you then moved into Cantorlot Castle, a town filled with the rich and the royalty, along with the loyalty of course.
'You didn't accept it at first, you didn't want to be there and just wanted to be free, but you had no choice. You were weak...you were only but a mere four year old colt and had no idea how to open up the portal again or even find it for that matter. So you were stuck and took what you could get. And so you stayed with Celestia, but refused her love and care from her...until that night that TF took you that is.
'He took you from the chambers and took you deep within a nearby forest, but you managed to get away from him, but then all you saw was darkness and despair all around you. All the scary monsters and ghouls...you were scared and acted like the four year old that you were...and then your adoptive mother came to your rescue and took you back home. And in that room where she had the fireplace lit up, you cried and cried and accepted what fate gave you and accepted her as your mum. And then from there you started to forget of who you were and where you came from.
'You were even starting to believe that you were a pony the entire time and all that happened in the past in the outside of the universe...you thought it was just one big dream that you had, that it was all in your head and that your real parents left you in some ditch to die in.
'But then you found that cave and TF was there and he tried to kill you, but TK jumped in and saved you...about time right? The portal was opened and you had our chance to go back, but then he had to break the news to you. All that time you've spent in that universe meant that in other places, time had moved on in other places. With TK, he was already dead and fought the devil and took his powers, and he became the new devil of his universe. He was already ten thousand years old by that time.
'And for Earth, even though you thought you closed the portal to Earth, from where you came from, more opened up, and it turned out that you missed out on the entire human race's farewell party for leaving Earth and to go beyond. And as for Lawman...he was dead. The only that didn't age was Factory Dash, sure she could live forever since you and TK allowed her to do so, but in her universe, time moved very slow, so not much had happened with you being gone, and the sad part is that you two weren't even friends. How sad. And so you were heartbroken and decided to stay there, and stayed you did.
'You grew up there, became a big and strong alicorn, even ruled by Celestia's side for a while too...and one day as you was doing some cleaning, you found your old journal that you kept with you wherever you went and you read through it all...and then you remembered who you were, because at that point you forgot who you were. You didn't remember who you were all those years ago, you forgot everything that you've been through...the only thing that you kept was the name that you gave yourself...Knight.
'And so you lied to your adoptive mother since you didn't want to break her heart and tell her the truth and you moved on and went back to the outside of the universe...but there was only despair waiting for you. No one was there to greet you...you were all alone. Sure TK gave you a few welcome back gifts...but that was all...you were all alone.
'And so you made a little area for yourself, a place that you once called peace but now call it nothing but despair. It's where you sat there and cried about how lonely you were. Remember that place Knight? You created it in the outside of the universe, took you a few tries too in the beginning, but you got the hang of it. You created the setting of it being at night with the stars out so bright with a few shooting stars here and there. And you were on a small hill underneath a beautiful looking tree, and you sat there looking out into the distance, not sure if what you were seeing was real or not...but then you were used to it because you were all alone and by yourself with no one there to talk to or have fun with.
'But then I showed up because I knew you needed to know the truth of what you needed to do. I was there by your entire side the entire thirty thousand years you spent alone. And I saw every minute of it. I kept telling you to kill and kill, but you wouldn't budge...why is that Knight? Why wouldn't you just give into the darkness.
'Sure it looks scary, but not everything that looks scary is scary...and I can help you. If anything....I'm your friend...I'm apart of you, I am from your heart...your very soul...your dark side. Remember when you created TK? Remember why you created him in the first place? Of course you do...you know the exact reason why you created him, but you don't want to say, it's a little embarrassing really, but nothing to hide though.
'And so you spent your many years of being alone...ignoring me and crying. And then one day...you got an idea...from a ball of light...and the rest is history since it 's all fresh within your mind, but I'm sure you'll go over it in your mind once the day comes when it seems like new to you."
I then sat there on the log like a bump and thought what he had said.
I then said to him, "Yeah...I know...you didn't have to remind me what had happened all those years ago Black. I remember it all, and to be quite honest with you I've moved on with my life since then. Sure it was a bit tough, but things have changed, granted I'm not sure if it's for the better or the worse, but things have changed since my beginnings."
Black then said next as he was walking around on his two legs and making hand gestures as he was talking, "And... do you even remember why you came to this universe in the first place? You came here because there wasn't anything that you could do in the outside of the universe. You were all alone and so you wanted to somewhat retire your days of exploring in a way, with one last hooray and explore an Official Universe in a My Little Pony universe, the 4th generation...isn't it, to be specific?
'Well, that was your plan, but then The Fall happened and things didn't go to accordingly to plan...did they? No...instead...you ended up in the Cantorlot hospital and later escaping and making your way to the Everfree Forest. That wasn't part of your plan. Your plan was to explore all of Equestria and see the sights, and then afterwards you would settle down in Ponyville, maybe get a nice little cottage near one of the Elements of Harmony or something like that. And you would live your life out in peace until someone built up the nerve to stick a knife in you and end you for once and for all. But that didn't happen...did it?
'No....instead you ended up befriending a lonely timber wolf, found out that you had powerful magic as a unicorn, became a personal student of Celestia, went to her school, went to Stalia, and made new 'friends' that I'm sure will just abandon you just like TK and Factory Dash. And it's like you didn't do anything wrong, you're loyal to your friendships, but yet no one else wants that loyalty from you, only what you have ...maybe....or maybe because they just don't care.
'You get the idea either way, your plan was simple, but now you're running around in this forest, cold and a little scared, while being hunted down like an animal. You have to save someone's child while the father is dead and in ghost form. TF is running around plotting something that's beyond you. Not only to mention, you've been having visions, a hint that there might be a third child in the family that Celestia and Luna belongs in. Speaking of which...those visions...what do you think those meant before you ended those visions from your mind?"
I then thought for a moment, but I then said, "Well, those visions for starters have ended a while back and I don't have to take a drug for sure to get rid of it. Second of all I have no clue what Neon wanted when he said that those visions were for me. If I had to guess it meant that I just need to find the missing child and set things right. Maybe...that's why all of this happened, that's why the Universe keeps messing with me and made things sort of repeat in a way. Maybe...not sure though but...maybe." Black then gave out a little laugh, although it was weird considering that it was coming from TK because he isn't the comedy type...you know? I mean when it comes to TK, it's either anger or nothing with him. Anyways, Black then said after his little laugh, "And you have no clue what happened that night do you?"
I then said to Black, "What are you talking about?"
Black then said, "Never mind...of course it would make you forget that you met it. It's not him really, but yet it isn't human...that's for sure. Anyways, let me ask you something Knight...if to say that you did find this missing child...what do you think will happen? That you will have peace? That everything will then start to go your way? That you can retire and don't have to worry about history repeating itself?"
I then said to him, "Well...in a way it's worth a shot. Although if you want my honest opinion, I think all that is going to happen is that I bring peace and harmony throughout the land, maybe some weird ass rainbow comes swiping through Equestria and stops TF or something like that along with all the villains. And then there's a little ceremony to celebrate the third sibling's return along with Celestia and Luna thanking me.
'And then the Universe leaves me alone and I can peacefully leave Stalia and retire somewhere in Ponyville or something like that...maybe...or you might be right though...all hell would just break loose. Maybe he was forgotten for a reason and he'll just kill everyone around here if I find him and set him free. Maybe, but I don't know for sure...and neither do you Black. Why do you look like TK anyway Black? I mean you look just like him with the exception of that black mist coming from the back of you."
Black then said as his black mist was slowly disappearing into thin air as it moved, "Because of the same reason why you created TK in the first place. You knew you had somewhat dark, but reasonable intentions when you created TK. And so for that, I represent your dark side...or else I would just be a black ball of light to you. Aside from that, I'm just here to ask you to give into the dark side. It won't hurt, and you'll have power, literally and fugitively. You can even use it to kill those that are hunting you and get out of this forest and return home."
I then said to him, "Yeah...and what'll you do next after that? You'll just take control and kill everyone that I know and around you that you deem unworthy in your eyes."
Black then told me next, "But only if you accept me into your heart Knight. That is the only way I'll have power, is if you accept me into your heart and soul...if you agree with what I say and they all must burn. Every. Single. One of them. They all must perish from this world and others. You have done so much and deserve so much.
'Do you not want to have your peace after fifty five thousand years of constant running around and not getting a break for once Knight? Imagine it...you don't have to just be in Equestria and live near the Elements of Harmony, which almost what every Brony dreams of doing one day. They even say it in there prayers. You don't have to just live every Brony's dream, but you can become god here, a king of all that is My Little Pony. You can become a god if you just accept me Knight. And for once everything will go your way, no more bullshit, no more others trying to kill you, no more of your 'friends' in Stalia...just being a god and controlling everything. Wouldn't you want that Knight?"
I then thought for a moment what he said, but I then answered him, "No...I mean sure it sounds easy where I wouldn't have to do much but...come on...I'm not stupid. I know it'll end in flames if I do that. Not that good always prevails, but because you don't know if you're going to end up stabbing yourself in the back later on in the future if you don't make the right move."
Black then said, "But choosing me would be the right move, why can you not see that Knight? I am you, I just hide from within. I was there when you were all alone and once more you are all alone. In a way you need a friend, and right now no magic is offering you friendship.
'You need something more, someone that you can trust...and I, Knight, I am someone, something that you can trust. And I swear it on my grave too Knight, that you can trust me. And you know since that I'm a part of you, that I am a man of my word. I can be a friend to you Knight, a better friend than what those other ponies could ever offer you."
I then said while shaking my head while also getting up from the log and standing straight up tall, "No. You're lying...and besides...you're just in my mind. You're not real, just a figment of my sub conscious or whatever part that you're from my brain."
Black then said, "Oh but I am more real than truth Knight. It's just that anyone can see me, they can hear me, they just can't tough me physically because I am bound to you. And I can't touch them either...except for you."
Black then laid his right hand on my head as I looked down thinking what he said.
I then replied back with, "Ok...sure...you're real, but that doesn't mean I would let you out. If anything, you're my Nightmare Moon to me, and I would never let you out just as Luna would never turn back to her evil self. Besides...where did you come from Black? I mean I don't recall you being there in my early adventuring days?"
Black then simply said while taking his hand off me, "Knight...you must understand everyone and everything has a dark side. I'm just more stronger than most dark sides. So strong that I can appear before you and others, I just can't touch anything but you unless you let me out. But like I said before...you have my word that I will be your friend and we can rule together."
I then told him, "You're talking as if you're another thing by yourself despite you being a part of me."
Black then told me, "But I am not. I am my own entity, I was just born from your soul is all."
Black then sat down where I was sitting down on the log, although my technical standards he wasn't sitting, since he can't touch it physically...so maybe he was lying about the whole thing, although something in his voice did sound like he was saying the truth about him being my friend. And at the time I had thought that if he really was part of me, he would be saying the truth about that, while also telling little lies every now and then.
Anyways I then said, "Yeah...sure...whatever Black. Look, I have no time to talk, I'm still on the run and I need to keep moving and..."
Black then cut me off and then told me, "They're getting near Knight. In a few minutes to they will find us here and you'll be screwed."
I then heard some of the ponies voices in the near distance yelling, wondering if they have found me yet. Black was telling the truth.
Black then said next, "It was worth a shot to try and get you to accept the darkness from within. You could have easily gotten out of here, but maybe I can still convince you that I am a man of my word some other time, but for right now I need to get you to safety, for if you die, I die too since I'm bounded to your soul and not set free. There's a little camp nearby, a good number of ponies. They're friendly and they can help. Just keep running North and don't stop. You'll eventually get to a downhill slope and there you will find the group by a river that is connected to a waterfall. Good luck."
I then nodded my head and I then proceeded to move North, and as I was running through the icy and cold snow, Black disappeared and continued to go with me where ever I went. I then ran North and kept going. I maneuvered through trees and such, which were spread apart somewhat evenly and somewhat far apart of course, but you get the idea how a forest is supposed to be.
Well I went through and found some small white little snow bunnies. It was still cold without a jacket of something or a scarf or boots anything of that matter, so it was a little cold on my hooves, but you know, survival and what not. Eventually I kept running North for ten or so minutes and came across what Black had told me, and it was the truth, there was a somewhat a small camp nearby.
To give you a picture, I was standing at the edge of the downhill slope, overlooking the entire camp. The downhill slope was kind of a long's way down, but if you slid on the dirt and mud, you would be able to get there safely. And once you hit the ground, there was a big open field of dirt and mud with small puddles of water.
But between the barren wasteland of dirt and mud, there was a small set of woods, like a little mini forest, an area there was trees where the ponies were camping out. There was tenets and fires out with ponies doing some work while others were resting talking to each other with smiles on their faces. And right next to them was a river, it wasn't like a rapid that type of river, but just a river that was nearby, or close by was a waterfall that led a long way down to more water and a bigger and deeper river.
And on the river, not at the bottom, but where the camp was, there was a decent sized boat with a motor at the end to obviously move the boat, especially in a river that led to a close by waterfall, although there were some rocks nearing the edge of the waterfall, so all would be fine if something were to go wrong.
And on the other side of that river was...more trees...woo hoo. And saw I had a little smile on my face and knew there was some hope, and if TF and the others didn't follow or find me, then all would be good in the end.
So I Slowly headed down the slope and got somewhat dirty with the mud and dirt of course as I was sliding down and eventually I hit the ground and was able to get some help...now only if you Cow Tippers knew of what was happening on the other side...oh no...here comes another side of the story...fuck...
TF'S GROUP:
Yup we're going back now...and the worst part is that we're not black, because once you're black...you can never go back...and you'll forever pick cotton in Heaven while you drink sweet southern iced tea. It only makes sense...that or if you're black and go to hell, you'll be cooked and eaten alive by a guy named Ghost that runs a radio show about capitalism and stuff like that. And to tell you the honest truth that the ghost that you meet in hell will either be from your past or that ghost in particular and that he's a racist...but the interesting part though he will have no legs and will be in a wheel chair, mostly because his magical legs are somewhere in a rice patty field in Vietnam.
Just like that Ghost that I had met earlier. He also fucks his dog that he named Templeton, he loves Christmas, loves to listen to that weird Seinfeld base loop thingy, has a circus monkey as a pet and is a some sort of fruit bowl. But you know...that's who you'll meet in hell if you're black...and if you disobey the master in heaven.
Really I have no fucking clue what I'm saying but I'm sure somewhere in some universe, possibly where I'm going to send this dairy at, it'll make sense. Hey, it's been a long night ok? I mean how many words have I written already and I'm still not close to the end of this particular part of my life? This...episode of my life.
I mean...a lot...but you get the idea. And to be honest with you the only reason why I'm sort of talking to you...whoever you are and whoever decides to pick this book up and read my life's story...it's because I am telling the story after all so I get to do what the fuck I want...got that you Cow Tipper. I bet you're a Cow Tipper. But then again what if you're not a Cow Tipper and still have a problem with it? Well...then you're a Nazi Jew Cow Tipper...I mean you're either a regular Cow Tipper or a Nazi Jew Cow Tipper.
Either way you're an elitist and complain or you're not an elitist and complain...either way you're a Cow Tipper. It's just that one is a regular one while the other one means you're a Nazi Jew. In truth it only makes sense to go that route and shit like that. In a way, we all have a little bit of Cow Tipper-ness in us. Perhaps...I am a Cow Tipper as well...just a little bit. Then again maybe you're just some random black guy and this journal...dairy thing ends up in the hood somewhere.
And then someone sells it for crack. But you know...you get what I'm trying to get at. Speaking of talking to the reader, I know it seems like it might be a waste of time, but hey at least you're getting to know me...while also getting to know the past me as well. In a way, you're getting to know the real me in some sort of way that even I don't understand. I mean I could just write this autobiography in third person which I know you Cow Tippers would want, I bet you're drooling over the idea and getting real horny too about it being third person...but then it wouldn't be as fun.
Then it would be as boring as the Biography channel...which I wonder is that channel still around or is it dead? If it's gone by the time just gets to Earth...then does that mean A&E is dead too? Does that mean MTV is any good? Maybe...but then again, only god knows the answers to those ultimate secrets of the universe...and the world will never know...except how many licks it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. The answer is simple: 42, 364, and 252. Really it's magical...like friendship. Friendship is Magic. Now where's my paycheck from those hacks named Hasbro...unless of course those bastards have been burned to the ground and are now in hell, in which case we should celebrate sometime for that reason.
Well...enough talk I suppose, I guess we do need to keep moving this story along and get back to TF's Group, although in all honesty it's getting annoying for me to keep switching back to him. But then again...you Cow Tippers, I'm sure in your minds in the future when you read this, you will be demanding to know what happened with TF's Group...and so here you go. So where do we begin, well...while I was at that little area kind of talking to myself, but not really because Black is another entity altogether, but is still a part of me. So, really I'm not sure if you would count that as talking to myself or not, but either way, you get the idea.
So anyways, as for TF's group, with the exception of Blacky of course who was slowly on his way to the others and trying to find his group, the others were spread out, but not too far apart from each other, trying to find me.
With Snow, he yelled out at the same time when I was talking with Black, "Did anypony find him yet!?"
Mr. Brown then yelled out, "Not yet! Maybe if my sister wasn't such a fucking cunt, maybe we could..."
Then Pink yelled out, "Oh don't you dare start it now you sick son of a bitch! If Ma was here, she would knock both of your god damn eye balls out and pull out whatever teeth that you have still in your mouth!"
Blacky eventually was near, as he followed some of the tracks that his group made, although he couldn't make out though which one was his group and which was mine of course...it is the fucking snow tracks after all.
Anyways, Blacky was near and he could the two siblings complaining and he had the lantern down so he could yell, "Will you two please shut the fuck up for once! You two are the most annoying pieces of shit that I have heard that has done nothing for the group except whine and complain! Now please shit the fuck up you two and keep looking for Knight!"
TF then spoke up, "I'm afraid he is right Mr. brown and Pink, you have done nothing but waste time, not only to mention it seems that we've wasted enough time around here that Knight had a chance to run away from us! So please, for the sake of our trip, please remain quiet unless spoken to do so!"
Mr. Brown then said, "We'll talk if we want to you clingy mother fucker!"
TF then said, "Well...at least I tried. As for you Blacky, do you have the lantern!?"
Blacky then said out loud, "Yes I do! What do we need it for!?"
TF then said next, "I have a feeling that we're going to be spending the night in these woods, so when night fall comes, we have a light to guide us through the darkness of the night!"
Sky then spoke up and said, "Can't we just use Luna's moon to help us guide through the darkness!? The moon can be in a way bright enough for us to see!"
TF then said, "I'm afraid not my dear Sky! These woods are too dense for the moon light to pass through, although to be fair, not always. Not only to mention, we're going to need as much light as we can get! Alright then, let's group up and try and find him together...I think by now he's far away now!"
And then everyone in the woods was starting to gather up and come together, however, Blacky was still a bit far away, but he could see from a distance that the group was going to meet up. However, as Blacky picked up the lantern, he heard a noise, a growl you could say coming from next to him. He then turned his head and saw a brown grizzly bear looking around, trying to find some sort of food.
It was sniffing some of the trees and minding its business, but Blacky saw it and knew that brown grizzly bears were not to be messed with. He knew he would be fucked if he caught that bear's attention. However, he knew what to do. First Blacky looked around to make sure what the bear is doing. Blacky knew that bears don't always attack unless they have a reason. The bear seemed curious, but he needed to make sure there were no cubs around, or else he would be in bigger trouble.
However, if it was a curious bear, all he needed to do was stand his ground. The bear eventually saw him and he looked curious as it titled its head to the side. The bear started to walk towards Blacky and Blacky didn't see any cubs as far as he saw it.
The bear got closer, but Blacky then slowly started to back away a little to give himself some distance between him and the bear. However, he soon stopped and he had to stand his ground.
The bear got close, but Blacky then yelled while stomping his hooves on the ground, "Get! Get I say! Go away you bear! Go! Leave now before I attack you! You know very well much that we don't want to fight! Now go! Get out of here before anything bad happens!"
Blacky made sure to stomp his hooves hard to make sure the bear knew that he wasn't playing around. However, the bear then just stood up on its hind legs and gave a roar at Blacky.
When Blacky saw this, he said, "Oh shiiiit!"
Then the bear charged directly at Blacky and knocked him down while trying to swipe at him with its claws. Blacky knew what to do next, and thankfully he was on the ground, so he quickly got on to his stomach and put his hooves behind his neck. In other words Blacky was trying to play dead so the bear would just leave him alone. The bear then got close to him and got near his back.
He started to sniff and him and some of the bear's drool got all over Blacky's back. The bear seemed a little curious so it swiped its paws at Blacky for a little bit, it was little bit painful for Blacky, but he had to keep still so the bear would leave him alone. Soon the bear used its teeth to pick him up by grabbing his back and slightly lifting him up from the ground a few times, which again kind of hurt Blacky.
However, the bear lost interest in him and started to walk away. When Blacky saw this, he knew he was in the clear, so he slowly and quietly started to get up when it gained some distance, however TF and the others knew what was going on, but was trying to play it safe.
TF then said to Blacky, which the group was near Blacky and shit like that, "Blacky. Don't get up. There are cubs near."
Blacky looked and was confused and asked TF, "What?"
Blacky then looked back at to his surprise there were cubs nearby that Blacky didn't somehow see.
He did said to himself as the bear was charging towards him again, "Son of a..."
The bear then knocked him down and started to attack him with all that it had. The bear of course was just trying to defend its cub, but Blacky didn't know that at first. Although for all we know, since the bear was more than likely a female, it was just on her period.
However, the others then tried to help with Star running towards the bear and taking out a knife and jumped on to the bear's back and grabbed a hold of it and started stabbing the bear in the top of the head. The bear felt Star's grasp and struggled to get her off, but the bear ran out of luck, as the knife was new and sharp, along with it being made out of strong stuff, and after a few stabs, Star killed the bear.
The bear soon fell straight to the ground with a plop and Blacky soon tried to get up. He had some scratches, but nothing too serious where he couldn't walk and then they would have to carry him, but then it would seem useless to try and save him so they just leave him to die on his own in the woods. But then he gets back up and slowly finds his way out of the forest and then tries to get revenge or some shit like that. Reminds me of a movie now that I mention that.
But anyways, Blacky slowly got up, in pain, but he was tough, so he could keep going. The others met up with Blacky to try and lend him a hand...a hoof...whatever.
Sky asked him, "Are you alright? Do you need help?"
Blacky then said, "I'm alright...thanks."
Sky then said, "I feel bad for the bear."
Blacky then said, "Why? It just tried to kill me?"
Sky then said, "I know...but...the cubs..."
And then all of the group, except for Star, looked towards the cubs that were all alone and defenseless. They were small and seemed as if they were just born not too long ago, like a few weeks ago. They made cute little noises, but sad ones as they went up to their dead parent and tried to get the bear up, but the mother bear of course was dead.
Soon the little cubs, there was three of them, were sad and continued to make noises as they were trying to get the mother up, but whatever they did, the mother bear still remained dead, and the bears remained motherless and without food or love and care.
Sky then said, "What will happen them?"
Blacky then said, "Well, either they will be eaten by timber wolves and other predators...or they might be lucky enough to be adopted by another mother. But we can't wait to find out, we need to keep moving."
Blacky then started to walk away from Sky.
Sky then said, "Well...I hope the bear cubs find a new home."
And he too started to walk with Blacky. Star soon got off the bear and put the knife back where she had it, which just like Snow, her suit, the cloths that she was wearing had compartments, but in this case a knife holder. But let's not go into the details of what Star was wearing.
So, they then started to walk away as a group without saying a word about the bears or the cubs that were calling out for their mother to wake up.
So they walked to the north and TF then said, "So, right now we don't know where Knight headed off to, but since I knew him for years, he would be going where ever we pushed him. He could have easily gotten past us and walked back to the train tracks, but sometimes he is an idiot. So, we just need keep heading north is my guess. So, let's keep moving and talk amongst yourselves, just keep it quiet so Knight doesn't hear us...ok? That especially goes for you two, Pink and Mr. Brown, assuming you two can at least shut up for once. If not, then I honestly give up on you two."
The two siblings didn't make a word, they just rolled their eyes. And so they group walked together. With Blacky as they were walking, he was kind of hurt and started to show signs of weakness and limping, but he was fine and could preserver.
However, Sky wanted to make sure he was ok, so he then asked him, "Are you sure you're alright? I mean we could try and stop and try to find some plants that could maybe heal some of those wounds and..."
Blacky cut him off and he then said to Sky, "I'm fine Sky. Just keep walking. I'm just surprised Star finally did something for once. The way she leapt on to that bear like that and just stabbed it in the head like that. It only makes me a little bit more scared of her really."
Star heard that, and Blacky saw Star giving him a weird look. Blacky then started to feel a little bit more scared afterwards about her.
Soon they continued to walk even more until Snow went up to Blacky as they were walking and he then said to Blacky, "Hey, can we talk for a moment?"
Blacky then asked, "How, we're in a group walking."
Snow then responded with, "Just slow down and we can talk while the group is in front of us."
And then Snow and Blacky slowed down a bit to let the others go ahead of them. When they were at enough of a distance between the group, they started to walk a little faster, but not too fast to keep up with the group, but far away enough to where they couldn't hear them or barely hear them.
So, Blacky started off with, "So what is it Snow?"
Snow then said to Blacky, "I've been doing something about that note earlier. Now I know we can all point our hooves at Star being the one, but I wouldn't go off judging her right away. If I had to guess who the traitor is, it would be Sky. It has to be him, especially with him being the odd one out of the group and all."
Blacky then looked at Sky. In his eyes, Sky seemed innocent, a kid, a young stupid kid that just needed a push in the right direction in life to get him off his feet...hooves...whatever.
Blacky then turned his attention back to Snow and he then said, "Well...I don't believe that. I believe it has to be someone else."
Snow then said, "I understand that he seems nice, but something about him doesn't feel right. I mean the only reason why I'm telling you this is because I trust you. And I believe the two of us can find the traitor and bring him to justice. Or...and here's my second theory...maybe this whole chasing Knight thing is a set up of some kind. What if we're chasing down the wrong pony and really the one we're supposed to be chasing is within our own group. But I'm more willing to bet that we're dealing with a traitor amongst us while tracking down Knight.
'Either way, we need to find out who it is soon before we are all dead. When we stop for the night, assumingly, I'll try to talk with Sky privately and try to see if I can't get anything out of him. Not directly of course, but more or less asking him specific questions and see how he responds to them. Or I might just try and confront him myself, which either I feel like doing. As for you, try and think how we could catch him in the act, assuming I don't decide to try and kill him right away, got it?"
Blacky then said, "Yeah...I got you. But I think it's better idea to just ask him the questions."
Snow then said, "Fantastic. Soon my friend, we'll bring the one who is plotting to kill us to justice. Just try and think of some kind of trap, I'll talk with you later."
And then Snow moved up to join with the others once more. With Blacky, he stayed back for a little and he then thought to himself, 'Huh...the more that I think about it, the more I seem to suspect Snow of him being the one who is behind all of this. Then again, Sky doesn't seem the type that would kill so easily. But as he said, he could be putting on an act. I don't know, but the more I think about it, the more confused I get and the harder it is to think who is the culprit here. I don't know...I can think about this later. For now, I just need to go along with the group.'
And Blacky then proceeded to move up and the join the others. With the remaining time that they had together, they stayed silent without saying a single word to each other. Sure they may have passed up a few animals like a deer or a couple of blue birds just suddenly appearing from thin air, which makes them magical blue birds.
Well, eventually they found my tracks that I left behind and TF knew that he was right about me. Yup...I could have avoided this entire adventure...yup...I could have...oh well it's in the past...just feel like an idiot now that I look back on it is all.
Anyways, they found my tracks and found where I was once standing on that slope. Once they were at the edge of that slope, you know, right before you go downhill, they were looking out over the camp site. They saw it how it was and how big it was, and they knew it would be safer to not go down there and start making a ruckus.
Sure they had guns and they could easily kill everyone down there, but Sky was there and he wouldn't let that happen, and not only to mention that it would be very cruel...except for TF who would have done it, but because of the others, he needed to keep his cool one way or another. He needed to blend in so he didn't seem like a monster, because a typical pony wouldn't think about slaughtering millions.
So, TF spoke up and he said, "Knight is down there somewhere. I just know it, especially since we found his tracks leading this way. But of course we just can't march in there without having to harm the others down at that campsite. But I have an idea. I am not too FAMILIAR with these parts, but I do know a few things that I have heard, and one of those things is that there is a nearby group of ponies that has been cut off from the rest of Equestria, from the rest of society really.
'They are known to be somewhat reasonable ponies, but for the most part they're hostile and I have been warned to stay far away from them. Or else they'll eat you alive, literally. It's a cannibal group of ponies, but I think we could use them to our advantage though. We can scare the group of ponies down there if we can convince the cannibals to help us and then we can find Knight."
Sky looked at TF and gave a little smile, mostly because he can trust TF as to what he said earlier about not trying to harm others other than Knight. But of course TF was thinking in his mind, 'The real plan is that I'll tell the cannibals there is a fresh source of meat here, and from there Knight will have to come out of hiding. I'll just make sure the others don't see what will happen so they know they everything will be alright. Well, assumingly at least. For all I know they might have heart to watch a good ol' fashioned scene of cannibalism.'
Blacky spoke up, "And what makes you think that they'll be cooperative towards us when they see us? Wouldn't they automatically try and eat us if we go near them?"
TF then said, "Well for one thing we must try. Second of all, it's only sometimes they eat other ponies. Sometimes they eat plants if I heard correctly. All we need to do is convince them to help us scare the other ponies off so we can get to Knight. Now I believe if I can recall the group lives somewhere in the West of these woods here. I think three miles. It might be a ways to walk, but I'm sure you as a team can make it there all in one peace. Although I recommend trying to take it slow and trying to play it safe as much as possible. You wouldn't want to piss them off now would we?" Snow then said, "Of course not. But...you're not coming with us?"
TF then simply responded with, "No."
Snow then asked him, "How come boss?"
TF then said next, "I'll keep an eye over here to make sure Knight doesn't leave the area. However, if you're not back here in say...three to four hours or so, considering how much you have to travel to get to them, I'll come and find you. Hopefully I won't find you all roasting over an open fire. Yes?"
Blacky then said, "Of course not. But how do we find them once we're three miles in?"
TF then said, "Well I'm sure you'll see a sign of their presence. From what I remember from what I've been told about the group, they like to use the skulls from their meals as decorations for the trees. I think they nail it to the trees."
Sky started to look scared and he then said, "I...I don't think I want to go. I think I just want to stay here with TF. I don't think I'm tough enough yet for something like that."
Blacky then looked to Sky and he said with a caring face and a supportive tone, "It's ok Sky, we're all scared. But we're all in this together as a group. Just...stick behind me and everything will be ok. Promise."
Sky then started to have that speculation look on his face and then said next, "Are you sure? I mean, I know I came here to try and be strong, but...I'm starting to regret this now. I mean...don't get me wrong, I don't mind having a little adventure every now and then and trying to be my own stallion...but something like this? I never heard of anypony doing something like this before. I'm honestly not sure if I want to be here right now. I think I would rather act like a coward than to be like this. I mean I'm just from a small village where everypony just goes about their business each and every day while trying to act nice to each other if possible every once and a while. I'm starting to think that this isn't my place. That I don't belong here with you guys."
TF then said to Sky as he got his attention by putting a hoof on his shoulder, "Sky, I understand your fears. But you must understand even I'm scared too. But we're all in this together. I mean I'm scared that we might not get out of this forest alive, but yet I'm keeping myself relaxed and calm and under control. Just try and see it this way: Here, you might seem some darkness, but if you always remember to dig deep down inside yourself, you might just find some light to guide you through the darkness. Understood?"
Sky then nodded his head silently. TF then said next, "Now, do not worry about a thing. These ponies, the ponies that I gathered into a group, they're professionals at what they do. They're used to a dangerous and adventure filled life. But they're not bad ponies, they're good ponies...for the most part that is...and I can guarantee you that these ponies will try and protect you from whatever monster or pony that tries and kill you. Trust me Sky...I'm your friend...remember?"
Sky then looked to the others and they all had smiles on their face, at least the ones that didn't have masks or whatever covering their faces and they all nodded.
Sky then looked back to TF and he then said, "Alright...if you say so TF...I'm trusting you now."
TF then said as he let Sky go, "Trust me Sky...you're in good hooves...well except for maybe Mr. Brown and Pink over there."
Mr. Brown then said, "Hey! What do you mean by that fucking statement good sir!?"
TF then stopped him by saying, "It's weird hearing you say the words statement and sir in a sentence for once. I don't even know why you two are on this trip and why I brought you two along, but obviously now I'm regretting that decision. No matter, you're still part of the group and I suppose you both are until the very end, just don't try to waste anymore time, got it?"
The two siblings then nodded, but with the displeased look on their faces.
TF then said, "Good, now...move out, we don't have much time left in the day. It'll start getting dark soon at some point."
The group then nodded their heads and then started to head west. As for their path, well they just walked towards the west and there wasn't any obstacles in their way, just land and a lot of fucking snow that may or may not be racist because it isn't black snow. Although there is black ice and black ice is the most dangerous kind of ice of all...I think...so maybe...like...spooks or something.
Never mind. However, they did have a little conversation as they were walking...so that's something huh Cow Tippers? Yeah...you bet your damn fat asses it is...because I'm sure you're Cow Tippers are fat somehow.
Anyways, as they were walking, like about halfway through to their destination, Blacky started to speak and said, "So how exactly are we supposed to know where the group is at? I mean I understand that it's three miles out west, but where exactly out west?"
Snow then responded, "Well, maybe we'll find out. Or maybe we won't depending if we don't encounter another bear on our path."
Sky then said, "Well...if that does happen, I'm sure Star will save us again...I just don't hope it doesn't have any cubs...I still feel bad for the last bear and her cubs."
Blacky then said to Sky, "Well that's part of being tough Sky. You just need to get used to the fact that out here, where there is no civilization, there is only a hard and cruel world. You just need to get used to it. With every other pony in Equestria, they're used to being tough within their own means." Sky then asked Blacky, "What do you mean Blacky?"
Blacky then explained to Sky, "Well, from everything that ponies have built over the last two or three thousand years, it's different from natural wildlife. Sure they use magic and in a way it's natural and not artificial, but still, they're used to what they have built, from how they act to how they think to the simple currency that they use and food that they eat. And they have been doing this for so long that by now they have forgotten that out in the world that they have not touched lies a world that does not care about their rules. I mean you go out into the wilderness, you don't expect to use bits do you?
'No, no you don't, but yet in a way I find that ponies nowadays have forgotten who they really are. They're animals, and animals out in the wild fight for a living, they try and be the strongest there is to be the survival of the fittest. They fight to survive, but yet some ponies think this is how it has always been in the past, but to tell you the truth, nothing was written in stone of how to live our lives.
'No supernatural being came down from the heavens and told all of us ponies to live only this way and this way only. Granted...there is god's three rules, but not everypony knows her three rules. Not even I do, although I do recall one as a child that I was told. I think god's rule is do not spill any blood of her children. In other words, do not harm Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, or else your soul will be destroyed once you die and judged after death. So, you do have at least one rule on how to act, but really that's a no brainer, especially it's a child of god we're talking about here."
Mr. Brown interrupted and said, "You fucking idiot! ha ha ha...there's no such thing as a god!"
Blacky ignored Mr. Brown as he rolled his eyes and he continued to say to Sky, "Never mind him Sky. But you get what I'm trying to say, right? That ponies need to at least remember that they don't always have to follow their cutie marks all the time or go to school and get a career in whatever field of their choosing. They can keep their own rules if they wanted to do so. They can become much more if they choose to do so, but it remains up to them to do so. Heck, they don't even need to have a princess for all I know. They can just simply say no to a monarch type of government and go for something else. Sure I am aware it's more to it than that like magic or some bullshit like that, but still, you get my idea that I'm trying to get at, right Sky?"
Sky then said, "Well...I guess. But what about the ponies that prefer that type of life? Do they need t follow what you recommend?"
Blacky then said, "Well no, it's their life and it's not up to me, it's up to them to decide that for themselves, but whatever. So...Sky, I know what you said back there...but...how do you think about the trip so far?"
Sky then said, "Well, at first I thought it was fun. Sure I knew it was going to be dangerous, but yet at the same time, I was willing to risk that chance and fight for once in my life. But...now with all that I've been through, like the train crash, trying to use a gun, chasing a pony in a cart, a bear attack, and now this...honestly it's a little too much for me. I mean don't get me wrong, I have no problem with being tough and what not.
'But...this just seems wrong to me, like really wrong. I feel like we shouldn't be doing this as in it isn't the natural order of things. Not only to mention, all of it just feels so off. In other words, I'm not having a fun time. I may have learned a little bit with the gun thing though, but everything else, I rather be back at home, where I belong instead of here. Clearly just with the little experience that I just had with you guys, this part of this world, this way of life is not for me. I don't belong amongst you, you all clearly know what you're doing, but for me, I'm not.
'I don't have a single clue to understand how this all works. In fact I believe I will never understand how this all works and I believe it's better for me to just pack up my things and go home right now. I want to call quits, throwing in the hay...and I don't care if you call me a coward, because at least I'll be safe back home than here. This place isn't for me, back home, well home that there is for me, not here. So maybe...I'll leave once you guys do what you have to do here, but don't get me wrong though, it was a fun time meeting you guys and talking with the little time that I had with you all. In a way I think we could have a friendship if we ever meet each other again in the future, but for now, I just want to go home where I belong, where my family is at, where it's safe and I don't have to worry about death or trying to hunt some other pony down. At least at home, I'll be where I belong."
Blacky then said to him, "You're pretty far away from home Sky. If you were to turn back now, you would need to fight your way through the cold and other dangers that lie on your path. It's better if you just stay with us until this is all over."
Sky then said, "But...I want to go home actually. I least there my family is there. Home, that's where my father is at. Along with my mother and my two older sisters. Along with my marefriend of course. If anything...I'm starting to miss home, I'm starting to miss them. I just want to go home now."
Blacky then said, "Well sorry to say but you're shit out of luck. We're too far from almost any town or village, we deep within a forest by now, and even if you could find yourself out and know which direction to go, you'll just end up dead because there is plenty of danger that lies ahead. So really your only options are either death and despair or stick with us."
Sky then made a frown across his face.
Blacky then saw this and wanted to cheer him up, so he said to him next, "That's ok Sky. Like I said, you're with us, we'll protect you and help you along the way. I mean sure we're all on our own in this wilderness away from any society, so survival will be different than from what you know. In other words, instead of trying to find a job and survive with money, you're surviving with your wits and whatever you have to arm yourself. But we stick together as a group, we're all in it for the long run. Trust me, I will make sure you won't get hurt by anypony or anything...promise."
Sky then said, " The thing is...I kind of hate promises Blacky. Not that I don't trust you, but I'm afraid that those that make a promise will not keep it. And trust me, I've been made too many promises in the past that were not fulfilled and...well I remember when I was a young colt I was promised a lot...but...it never happened. Those promises were broken and I remember one night I cried for an hour and a half.
'I cried so much that my body started to feel numb I started to feel light headed along with my heart wanting to just stop. So, I hate to hear when you say you'll promise. But I try my best to forget the past, like not long ago, TF made a promise to me. So it was a step in the right direction of hearing that word again without me remembering the past. But...that was before I knew what was going to happen, and now I rather not keep a promise on a trip like this. I'm sorry, but just please don't let me down...please?"
Blacky then said, "Don't worry...we won't let you down there Sky. We've got your back."
That was it, no more conversations after that. Yeah I thought there would have been more, you know like almost a father and son bonding type moment between Sky and Blacky...or better yet someone shipping those two ponies together. I mean it's going to happen...the god of the shippers see all and know all and shall make a shipping fix between these two.
Hell I'm pretty sure the shipping gods already made a romance story between me and Wolf along with a few others like TK and Neon...but to tell you the truth...all stories like that are all the same to me. But enough of that, let's get going on what happened next. So the group was walking in the cold, the snow got a little bit deeper, but not by much. They stayed silent as they treaded into the territory of the cannibals, along with going ever so deeper into the forest, which they then started to see a darker tone within the forest. As if it was starting to seem surreal and from a nightmare.
The trees started to grow twisted while the sky seemed to turn darker. The snow stopped being a beautiful, untouched, blanket of snow and started to turn slushy as it mixed in with the mud and dirt. And as they started to walk, they started to see what TF had mentioned to them earlier about skulls. At first they saw just a pony's skull nailed to a tree with cracks around where the nail penetrated the skull.
But the deeper they walked into the area, the more horrifying imagery they started to see. They started to see more than just skulls. They saw spurts of blood, some was fresh while others were dry. Then also intestines being hung around the tree branches high above their heads.
Soon the group started to hear whispers, although they couldn't quite make it out what it was trying to say to them, they thought they could hear the voices say, "Fresh Meat... New Prey... Tasty Treat... Outsiders... Come Closer... Do They See Us?..." Soon they started to hear distorted voices as well which included, "Welcome To Hell... Your Time Will Come soon... Don't Trust The Sheppard... We Are Always Watching You... We All Have To Go Sometime... I'll Laugh With Thee... Herman You Pushed Me... The Bird Found The City..."
And soon the distorted voices became so distorted that they couldn't make it out...although I've somewhat at least tried my best to write down what it said...I think... "detortsid ylthgils shturt era shturtun suoregnad tsom eht... eno tnetsisrep yrev a tiebla, noisulli na ylerem si ytilaer... ytinasni hguorht efil ruoy lortnoc... ytinasni decudni si noigiler... dnim suoicsnocnu eht si ydob eht..."
Well...at least that's what I could make out at least...I mean it's up to you if you want make sense of it...I have no fucking clue and I'm too lazy to do it. Although I suppose I could try...give me a minute...ok I think I've got it.
"Bush did 9/11... AIDs made monkeys... I'll see you in Hell on the day that I laugh you out of the heavens... I smell dog eating farts... Bob Tom took my wallet...and he was black as night... My anus is bleeding... The mind from within is simply our own Hell... Who created whom? Did God create us or did we create God?... I Double Dipped the Chip... Ghost from TCR is a racist..."
Yeah that sounds about right..I mean I'm too lazy to think about that kind of stuff...I mean some sounds deep and all...but...really who cares how deep this rabbit hole goes? If it goes on forever and ever...then we don't we just enjoy the ride. Ok I'll stop talking about the distorted voices now, but the group was hearing very distorted voices as they were walking along.
As they were walking, Sky then said to Blacky, "I'm starting to get real scared here Blacky...I have a bad feeling about this..."
Blacky then said, "We're all scared shitless Sky...we're all scared. Even the toughest of the tough can be scared..."
However, Snow then blurted out, "Well I'm not scared...I face death everyday during war time, so if they eat me alive...then all I can say is bring it on...I've been through worse. Like killing your own comrades in war because you and your comrades are left stranded on an island to starve to death, so it's a fight for survival, so you either eat your own friends or you die...and it was hard to do too, considering they were good ponies...but either we all die or I live..."
Blacky then looked at him funny and he then said, "Uhh...shouldn't you have gone with all dying instead of eating them?"
Snow then responded with, "Yes...well...we would have...although I recall there was a strange presence on that island that we were stranded on...sort of like a dark, purple like mist...I'm thinking it was due to the insanity on that island, but I'm not for sure though..."
Blacky then said, "Yeah...sure...tell us this later when we're not under threat from cannibals and..."
Soon they were all jumped by ponies coming out of the darkness...or what at least seemed like darkness in their eyes. They were all jumped and pinned down by messed up looking ponies. To describe what they looked like, some of their features were twisted and they had a foul smell to their breath. Their teeth were sharp like what a typical carnivore would have while their spines sort of stuck out in a way.
Some were deformed due to the constant incest breeding within the cannibal group and others had dried blood stains around their entire body, but mostly their mouths. Their manes were all fuzzy or in patches, some were even bald. Some didn't even have color within their eyes, it was just pure white as if they were possessed by something. Some carried spears in their mouths or in their hooves, while others had knives made from stone or metal. Some wore the skin of their victims and wore it in weird ways.
Some wore nothing while others had rope around their bodies for some weird reason. Yeah...that's about it on how to describe those ponies eating son of a bitches.
Anyways, after they jumped the group, they forced them up on to their hooves and made them walk while making weird and twisted noises while some did a chant, which was, "Hoola mana koo ka..."
It's possibly French for 'Let me take a piss on your baby you slut.' Oh who the fuck am I kidding, it's possibly black people talk for something I don't know...or it's just the way that they talk...I mean some were deformed and more than likely retarded. Well, they then forced them to walk back to their homeland, and as they were walking, the group stopped seeing snow and started to see nothing but dirt, no trees or any plant life within a mile radius, and the sky for some reason started to turn into a blood red type of color.
As they were walking, Sky yelled out, "What's going to happen!?"
Blacky then said, "I don't know Sky! Just stay calm! We'll figure something out!"
Sky then yelled out, "Where are they taking us!?"
Blacky then said, "I don't know! Just stay calm and don't do anything stupid!"
Soon they made it and the ponies that captured them brought them back to their little village, and there, they had made a cage out of wood. Well I'm guessing it's wood. I mean it didn't look like wood, it looked like more or less bamboo. But then they're not in Asian people territory...so where would they get bamboo from? I mean I guess to me it looked like bamboo..but yet it really wasn't bamboo...it was wood from the trees they harvested from because that's all they had in the forest.
And if you Cow Tippers ask what kind of tree it was then I'm going to rip your throats out if I ever travel to the future and find out that you asked that...because you Cow Tippers...you're pushing it....you fuckers…see…I’m edgy…I’m so edgy…I make Shadow the Hedgehog cut himself in the bathroom so he can just get attention again.
Also, just for a bit more detail, after they captured the group, they took all of their saddlebags, but yet not their guns. Speaking of which, you would think they would be able to use their guns, but obviously they were overpowered.
Well anyways, they put they group into the cage, which was made out of wood, which I’m sure we can all agree upon. Well, the cannibals put the group into the cage and locked them up, which after that most of them went away to do whatever, which was either to start the fire so they could eat them or you know, do civilized stuff like getting a loan for something or some shit like that. And if they don’t pay back their loan, they’ll be eaten alive.
You know this reminds me of Cultural Relativism…you see…well I have no clue…I mean I know it has to do with something, oh forget it, let’s just move on you whiny Cow Tippers. Well, the ones that stayed at the cage were pretty much just keeping an eye on the group so they wouldn't run away or possibly hurt themselves or do something stupid.
The group was all huddled into the center of the cage, back to back or in this case since they’re ponies, ass to ass, looking all around the cage and seeing all the creepy and some deformed eyes staring at them. It was almost as if it were hyper realistic eyes that was bleeding and some shit like that.
Although it wasn’t, but I’m sure some guy would jack off to that though. Well, the group was all together in one area in the center, but instead of looking afraid, they were all looking a way to escape, all except for Sky…he looked scared. To him, a simple, normal pony was not used to seeing things like this, but instead used to seeing other ponies that may or may not have been pedophiles once in their lives…alright that was a lie, but he was used to seeing other ponies that weren’t trying to kill him or anything else like that. He was used to seeing his family and friends, not other ponies that tried to eat his flesh and drink his blood like fine wine.
To him, this was hell, this was his nightmare that he cannot escape from. Sky was scared and was near Blacky while looking at all the eyes that was staring at him with hunger. His legs started to shake, almost giving out as Sky wasn’t sure what to do other than to cower in fear and hope for the best, or hope that some sort of Superman would save him…or in this case Superpony….some shit like that.
He needed someone to help him, for so far in this journey, he was only used to those trying to teach him how to shoot a gun, and he was still horrible at it too.
Blacky though saw Sky’s fear, he could feel it near him, so he looked to Sky slightly and he said, “Don’t worry Sky, everything is going to be alright. No need to be afraid. I promise, I’ll figure out a way to get us all out of here.”
Snow then spoke up, “I don’t think we’re going to have an easy time doing that.”
Snow then pointed to the fire that was nearby. The cannibals then started to gather around while also making room for the group to see as to what they were about to do next. However, soon a small group of ponies started to get near the fire. From the group’s point of view, it looked like if they were huddling around something, but as the ponies got closer, the group started to see what they were huddling round, in which case it was a single, individual pony, who was hurt and had a few broken bones.
This single pony also had cuts and bruises all around his face, all with some dried blood stains all over his body as well. The pony looked miserable, so miserable in fact that once he saw the group, for a moment, he felt like there was some sort of hope for the pony that had not seen a civilized pony in quite some time.
The pony slowly reached a hoof forwards the Blacky and the others, wanting to grab the group and become safe from the cannibals, but he soon was taken back to reality and found himself in the grasp of the cannibals, and was soon taken near the fire.
In which case, he started to cry and yell out loud as he could, “Please help me! Please do something! Please!! Don’t let them eat me, for the love of Celestia please do something!”
Soon another group of cannibals pushed a stone table from somewhere else that they had it stored. Once the stone table was in front of the fire, the group that held the poor pony in place laid the pony down on the stone. When the nameless pony was on the stone, it felt cold, but also a bit disgusting as it had blood and guts all over it.
The pony was looking at the sky as he was being held down by the cannibals. And soon…everyone was silent within the area. The group watched and wondered what was going to happen next. And soon, a female pony, yes…an actual chick, so you lonely virgins n college can go off and imagine the mare and jack off to it I guess. Well this mare was dressed up in what appeared to be some sort of ritual, traditional clothing.
It’s hard to explain….I mean…it was like….ritual type stuff, just use your imaginations Cow Tippers, you might just learn something if you do for once in your miserable lives. Anyways, the mare also didn’t have pupils in her eyes, just plain white, soulless eyes. She slowly walked from a hut near the cage that the group was being held in and was also holding a knife made from stone as well.
As she was walking to the stone table, all the other cannibals were watching her and anticipating what was going to happen next. The Mare slowly walked up to the table, as her wrinkles looked even more disgusting in the light from the fire than looking at it in lower lighting conditions. Eventually she got to the stone table, and once she did, the pony saw her and started to scream his lungs out.
He tried his best to be free, but all the cannibals had him held down, from his head to his legs, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place…I guess if that is how the saying goes. Right before what happens next, the old mare gave a small smile as the pony was screaming to the heavens. She then stood on her two back hooves perfectly, which was odd as some ponies couldn’t do that for that long. But then again she is some old mare that conducts rituals and shit like that, so why not?
Well, she stood on her two back hooves and was able to hold the stone knife in her left hoof. Soon the stone knife was near the pony’s face and right before she made her next move, she started to mumble something like what a crazy person would say. And then…she raised the stone knife and the proceeded to bring it straight down and right into the pony’s right eye, deep into the socket too.
Blood started to gush out of the nameless pony's right eye socket as the pony yelled out in pain and wondered if this was his hell. The blood started to even enter his mouth as it went everywhere as he continued to scream out in pain. Soon, the mare pushed the knife even deeper into his eye socket cause the pain started to become more intense.
Soon the mare pushed the stone knife towards the eye and somehow scooped out his ball. The eyeball was eventually out of the socket, however it was still connect to the nerves and such, so the mare opened her mouth and lightly held the eyeball with her teeth and then jerked her head away from the pony.
The eyeball was then yanked out and caused even more intense pain for the pony suffering his fate worse than death. Soon the mare had a little smile on her face and held the eyeball on her hoof. She soon raised her hoof with the eyeball intact and showed it to the other cannibals, in which case every other cannibals remained silent. Soon the mare lowered down her hoof and put the eye ball in her mouth.
Then she began to slowly chew the eyeball with a smile on her face and enjoying the taste of a pony’s only vision to the light of their world. As she was chewing, she sometimes had her mouth open and close and as she did, the group saw from even the distance that they were watching, they saw the old mare had some blood coming out of her mouth, but of course that was the eyeball.
With that said, it must have been real yummy….like a porn star eating cum. Anyways, she then swallowed the eyeball in one simple gulp as she tilted her head back with an even bigger smile than before. Once she did, all the cannibals gave a short applause with their hooves but stomping it on the ground. The pony that was being eaten alive was still in great amount of pain, but he was not finished, the old mare went for the second eye socket with the stone knife.
And basically saying, it’s the same thing as before, nothing new…I’m sure you understand you fucking Cow Tippers. Anyways after she was finished with the second eyeball, the pony could no longer see, but yet was surprisingly alive and had not passed out due to the shear pain that was being inflicted on to him by the cannibals. However, he was still not done yet. One of the nearby cannibals went and forced open the pony’s mouth with one hoof and holding out the tongue with the other.
The cannibal yanked on the tongue real hard to make sure the cannibal had a real good grip on it. The mare saw this and so she then took the stone knife and slowly cut the tongue off, as the pony felt every feeling of the edge of the rough stone knife and only wanted death to come to him, but thankfully he was on the edge of death, but all he needed was a little push and he would be in a better place…maybe…or maybe Neon got his soul….depending of course, but whatever.
So, as the mare finished cutting off the pony’s tongue off, the cannibal that was holding on to the tongue had the tongue and made a little creepy smile on his or her face, I couldn’t tell, it looked like both to me. So, the pony danced around a little bit while showing off to the others what he or she had in his or her hooves and then tilted his or her head back and chewed on it fast.
The cannibal just went at it, but the mare didn’t like the way that cannibal was eating, so the old mare went back to all four legs and walked towards the cannibal that was eating the tongue and went back to standing on two hooves again. When she did so, she quickly took the stone knife and rammed it into the cannibal’s head a few times, almost killing him instantly. After she pulled out her knife after she was finished with the cannibal, she said something that was weird to the group.
However, judging off of body movement and what happened afterward, it was more than likely a signal to eat the dead cannibal, because some of the cannibals started to eat the dead cannibal. While that was happening, the old mare went back to the pony that was on the brink of death and just wanted that push to be in the land of the dead and forever.
She stared at the pony who was begging to be killed with body language, because you know…no tongue….and the old mare continued to stare at him. However, she eventually made a move that finished the poor bastard off, she took the stone knife and aimed it at the guy’s chest. She held the knife high as she went back to all two, because you know…whenever ponies walk it’s on all fours….I’m sure you Cow Tippers would have learned common sense and logic by the time your father kicked you out of the house when you turned 18 and all alone. Along with your father hating you of course, in which case…have a hug…but don’t get to close to me…you’ll get your Cow Tipper disease all over me.
Anyways, the old mare then pushes the knife down with full force and stabbed directly into the pony’s chest, in which turn she pushed the knife down to make an opening. After she did that, she threw the stone knife to the side and opened the wound with both of her hooves and stared inside into the pony’s chest. She then proceeded to place her hoof inside the chest and rip out the heart, instantly killing the pony and giving him the push that he needed so badly to end the pain.
Once she had the heart, she went back down to all four hooves, well all three hooves, as she had the heart in one hoof and was slowly eating it, so was all the other cannibals eating their meal for the day. The group watched every part of it, every second that went by.
And while they had fear striking their heart, in their minds, it was either fight for survival or give up and die like an animal…although technically they are animals so really they would die like animals. But then again from their point of view they are not animals, and that humans would be the animals to them, but in technical sense, that would make every living thing an animal that isn’t plant based. Life is so confusing, just like animals with intelligence.
Well, the group saw all of this happening in front of their eyes with the exception of Sky who was just stricken with fear and didn’t know what to do or some shit like that. He couldn’t even move his body because he was so scared. Blacky saw Sky’s body reaction.
He knew not everything will be alright, but he would have to calm him down somehow, or else it wouldn’t have looked good for them in the future in their current situation. So, Blacky proceeded to put a hoof on Sky’s shoulder gently and in return Sky felt the light touch and looked at Blacky’s eyes and Blacky didn’t say a single word to him.
Somehow, just by looking straight into his eyes, Sky knew that Blacky was trying to comfort him and telling him that everything will be alright. When Sky saw this, he slightly nodded his head and stopped fearing fear, and started to relax a little without letting his guard down.
So, the cannibals continued to do with what they were doing as the group continued to watch. Well, they had no other choice but to watch, so they stood there trying to figure out a way to escape, however, as the group looked around with the exception of Sky, no one could find a way out of this. Not even Blacky, who was somewhat had experience with dangerous situations like how he was in the great war.
When he was in the great war, he had to escape dire situations and solve problems that would have gotten him killed within a minute. However, now he was faced with difficult challenge of all that everyone has to eventually face: Death. Death was looming over him and his companions, awaiting for Blacky to go towards death. Death is such a hard thing sometimes really in truth. With Death, no one can truly face it, and to Blacky he always had trouble facing Death.
With the death of his mother, along with situations of him almost having him facing death, he had trouble facing it. However, the time was now for Blacky to face it. It may not always have been a problem that he always showed, but deep inside, he knew he was going to have to face it at some point. So as the group was watching and awaiting as to what was going to happen next, Blacky stared off into the far distance that was nowhere near the cannibals or Sky or anyone else.
Just in the far distance that was visible from the cage that he was in, the cage that showed a path between the trees, like a trail, and it just went into the distance to where he couldn't even see what was past the hills that he saw. In a way, he could see the sun starting to set a little bit, and so he started to concentrate on what he would see and feel when Death came towards him.
He had wondered how will death feel, what will he see. He has always been told of heaven and of god and how if he was good he would go there. And with ponies here, there was no doubt about it, heaven existed, and that is obvious of course from my previous visits there from earlier that I couldn't recall at the time, but you get the idea.
Although to be fair, obviously some ponies doubted Heaven's existence since it just sounded like a fairytale to some. Anyways, Blacky continued to wonder if he would be accepted into heaven, I mean he has killed for living and had a troubled past. Granted he wasn't exactly evil, but if he was good...then why did it feel in his heart that he was only good so he could survive?
Sometimes if you want to survive in a tough world, you need to be good to others, and that is what he did, so in truth he never really had a friend. In a way, Sky was his first friend, and while he didn't get much time to connect with Sky, he could feel a spark starting to form a little bond between him and Sky. Not a love type of bond, but a friendship type of bond that in between makes him feel that he has a friend that would go to the ends of the earth for him.
And while he questioned what Sky had felt, he continued to think about Death and what it could mean for him in the end. Another question popped into his mind, what kind of fate will end his life? He was not sure exactly how, however he knew he would be eaten. Perhaps set on fire, eaten right away with no spices or herbs. Perhaps killed and then eaten.
He didn't know it would happen, all he knew was that him and the others were going to be eaten alive. In a way, he was afraid of what was going to happen to him, but everyone there around him was afraid. Seeing that ponies eating others like that made him very afraid as to what ponies could do that were not civilized or had no feelings of good within their heart. However, Death continued to linger over him like an eclipse.
And so he thought for a moment, wondering what he could do to escape his terrible fate once more, but once again, nothing seemed to work. He was doomed to be eaten, and there was nothing he could do about it. And so he proceeded to look and stare to the far distance, and then for a brief moment, which was more than likely an illusion that his mind was making up, that he could see Death in the distance. He couldn't see a face, just a shadow, granted Blacky had thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him before death, but yet it felt like someone was actually there and he couldn't shake the feeling that death was right there, waiting for the right moment to come to him.
Soon, the shadow got a little closer and he saw a silhouette of the pony for a few seconds before it disappeared. And for those few seconds, it had looked like someone familiar. And soon it hit him. Death was only a transition from one life to another. In a way, it's like going to sleep and waking up in another world. And for a while, he was at peace and was ready to accept his fate. And if he had a chance, he would go first to be eaten, but he could feel throughout his body that, everything was going to be ok.
He was not sure how or why he came to this conclusion, but for some weird reason he was ok with death and his fate. Sure it may not have been the best way to go to the next life, but in the end, he would be at peace in a better place where everything will be ok...hopefully. And so, he looked back to the others, who were still scared and trying to find a way out. He then looked back at his captors who were just finishing their meal.
Of course since they just ate, it would be awhile before they demanded food, so they would be safe for a little bit, but soon the old mare bitch came walking towards the cage with a small smile forming on her face along with the dried blood of her victim. When she got closer, Sky's heart started to pound against his chest quickly, wondering what was going to happen next. When she got close to the cage, she then said which seemed to be gibberish to them but, with them it was a language that they could understand.
The old mare said, "nfvrsdfrsvbhgdfrezyhigse5rtbsge5rtb nyir f yuifry uidfs y iffrf rfre efy guu yefyu efyu if ry ufrs sfeyifs eysef feyui sefyni efisrfsdf uieuid weai eaduisedf sdefu isdef je df ynfsde b hsd"
Yeah...I couldn't make it out so I just did my best. Well what fuck do you expect of me to do Cow Tippers!? Am I supposed to be like a Rosetta Stone or something? I mean I may have been around in my time and know some languages, granted not at that time but later down the line I did...like...maybe two different languages....but you get the idea.
I tried my best to translate it. However if you really must know what it did say...well what happened next was that a random cannibal came up next to old mare. He had a disfigured face and had a creepy smile of a psychopath on his face and he then started to talk to the group, as everyone in the cage was looking at the old mare bitch and the random pony.
The Random pony said, "Hello...my name is Wise Heart. And This is my translator Talking Words."
Blacky then said, "That doesn't sound like very good names."
Snow then said, "You can...speak our words?"
Talking Words then said, "Y-Yes...we can...well...not everypony here can, but I'm o-one of t-the best a-around."
As Talking Words was talking, he was acting a bit weird and constantly picking at his head as he seemed to have a stuttering problem.
Blacky then asked Talking Words, "Do you...have a stuttering problem?"
Talking Words then said, "I-I do...but W-Wise H-H-Heart said it was a gift from G-G-G-G-G-God."
Blacky then said, "I don't think God would give you a stuttering problem."
Talking Words then continued to talk and said, "S-S-S-S-S-hut up. W-W-W-W-Wise H-Heart said that p-p-p-p-ponies like you w-w-wouldn't understand."
Snow then asked, "What do you mean by that exactly when you say ponies like us? Do you see us as some other kind of ponies?"
Talking Words then proceeded to say, "W-W-W-We see your k-k-kind as an outsider a-a-and t-t-t-t-that you t-t-t-t-t-t-t-try and hurt us."
Blacky then looked at Talking words for a moment and then he asked him, "I'm curious...who are you ponies...because you're the kind of ponies that I've never met before."
Talking Words then said, "W-W-We are a group of p-p-p-ponies that have n-n-n-n-no home. T-T-T-T-This tribe was founded on a p-p-p-place for p-p-ponies that were weird and s-s-s-s-s-s-shunned away?"
Blacky then asked, "Why?"
Talking Words then said, "B-B-Because we are not normal l-l-like others. Some of us c-c-come from incest while other are d-d-d-deformed from b-b-birth. Some of us are even from mental h-h-hospitals. This t-t-t-t-t-tribe has b-b-b-b-been around for at least a t-t-t-t-thousand years."
Blacky then said, "A Thousand years?"
To Blacky, it seemed odd that this has been going on for so long, especially since not everyone knew about this tribe of cannibals.
However, before Blacky could say anything, Wise Heart said to Talking Words, “inj bgihfvn jfvihje ieijn ernjo frjner njrnj frnjo rfjr rr rf frgt trgf es.”
Again that’s what it sounds like to me, but while Wise Heart was saying that, she somewhat hit Talking Words on the head with an annoyed tone, in which case Talking Words started to cower in fear as Wise Heart remained the leader of the tribe and was also feared in a way.
Snow then asked Talking Words, “What did she…say?”
Talking Words then looked at the group with a bit of a sad look on his face and said, “She s-s-s-says that she d-d-d-d-d-d-doesn’t want me to continue t-t-t-t-t-t-t-talking to you and t-t-t-t-t-to stop wasting t-t-time with talking with you all. She j-j-j-just wants me to t-t-t-translate whatever she wants to s-s-s-say to you.”
Wise Heart then started to speak and said, “ijre friuer eriue eriuer rf?”
Talking Words looked at her while Wise Heart looked at the group and once Wise Heart was finished speaking, Talking Words looked back towards the group and translated, “She asks if t-t-t-there is any other pony with your g-g-group?”
Blacky thought about this for a moment, and while he could also bring TF in with them, he knew it wouldn’t be that wise to do so, so Blacky then said, “No, no other pony else was with our group. Why do you ask?”
Talking Words looked towards Wise Heart and he then said, “frjn fr njfr rfjnfvr nfvrn jornjo rnjerjo frjner erjnoer eroer frjorf eriore erioer frnjjn.”
And just to be clear, if you Cow Tippers were with me and only writing down what I hear…then you can go cuck yourselves…like Davey Cucket.
After Talking Words made out what Wise Heart said, “She says it’s b-b-b-because she wants t-t-to make sure what she c-c-c-c-c-calls Stragglers were left near our home."
Blacky then asked Talking Words, “Can you ask her…what is her plans for us?”
Talking Words then looked at Wise Heart and said, “friueio efviuoefv efvije eioed euoef friuofr froiu efiuef rfuofer eruoe ferio er.”
Wise then said, “joe frioer eruer eruer fuck you efwiurw eriuer eriuer erjow eru rjerjm.”
After Wise Heart said her words, Talking Words then looked towards the group and said to them, “She said t-t-t-that you will be slowly c-c-c-c-cooked over a f-f-fire like a roasting chestnut and b-b-b-b-be eaten alive and t-t-that we’re running a little low on f-f-food. Also she said f-f-f-fuck you.”
Black then looked disappointed with that answer and he then said to himself out loud, “Well that’s just great.”
Blacky then looked at Wise Heart and he then said with a sort of confidence in his voice, “Well fuck you too you bitch.”
Wise Heart gave a little smile and she then said, “injeriu friuer friu eru fuck frijer frihrw.”
Talking Words then said to the group, “S-S-S-S-S-She says she gladly f-f-f-f-f-fucks herself every n-n-n-n-night.”
Blacky then said, “Well…we’re screwed.”
Snow then put in his two cents and he then said, “Well what did you expect Blacky? Their cannibals?”
Blacky then responded with, “Well I wasn’t exactly planned on being eaten now was I? And besides, it’s not just us that we should fear for our lives, but you too Sky. I’m sorry you’ve got dragged into this…looks like we broke our promise. I mean, with the rest of us dying…we’ve lived our lives. Sure our fate is unwanted for how we will meet our demise…but we have all lived a long life and…maybe it is time to say goodbye to this good old world that we lived in. Say goodbye to all of our troubles and worries, say goodbye to the land and the animals. We better prepare to say goodbye to each and every one of us here. But as for Sky…he’s too young to meet his end. And chances are, he’ll be missing out a lot here, but in the end, we’re fucked. Sorry you all got into this mess…only god can save us now…and god ain’t coming to help us. We're on our own now. I'm sorry to you all that all of this had to happen like this. That we'll be eaten...hopefully they kill us first before they get to us and eat our organs and such."
Blacky went ahead and walked to the middle of their small prison and sat on the ground that was nothing but dirt, He started to lower his head in shame, as if it was his responsibility to lead the group and bring them back to TF alive and well. Granted, it wasn't his job, but it felt like it to him, and to himself, he failed and deserved no respect or any comfort as his life was going to come to an end.
His time was coming to a halt, and his last moments would be spent in a cage. He would be trapped, no longer able to see the world around him one last time before he died, only a small box encased with darkness and despair surrounding him.
He had thought in his mind, 'Only if I could get out...only if we could escape from this place and get far away from here. But I'm guessing we're all going to die in here, and we have no hope of living our hopes and dreams no longer. We'll be dead and eaten, and no doubt about it...we'll be regretting it in heaven that we didn't spend enough time with our loved ones and friends and doing the things that we loved to do. Eventually everypony says that before death, and if they say other wise...they are just lying to themselves.'
And so Blacky continued to sit there and draw little circles in the dirt with his hooves. The group saw this and pretty much for the most part thought the same thing except for Sky. Sky knew why Blacky was sad, but yet, he had a different tone in his head instead of doom and gloom. Instead, Sky knew something to cheer Blacky up.
So Sky walked up to Blacky and was near him and waited for Blacky to look up at him.
Blacky noticed Sky's close presence and Blacky simply said to Sky with a frown on upon his face, "Sorry kid, but we're all out of luck."
Sky then started to smile a little bit and he simply sat down right next to Blacky and he then said as Black continued to draw little circles in the dirt with his hooves, "It's ok Blacky."
Blacky then said while being rude and not looking Sky in the eyes, "Look kid, it's not alright. We're all going to be eaten soon...doesn't that bother you at all?"
Sky then said, "It does...but...I'm ok with it."
Blacky then said, "And why do you say that?"
Sky then said to Blacky, "Well...one day when I was a little colt many moons ago...I once lost my favorite toy that I used to play with to a bunch of bullies. I tried to act tough, but all I did was made myself look like a fool due to me always being polite and kind and soon the bullies just broke my toy. I remember I cried all the way home and my mom saw me so she asked me what's wrong. I told her everything and while she tried to comfort me, she told me that to always remember that one day...everything will be ok. And that maybe one day I'll get another one or have another favorite toy. And later I eventually did get another one for Heath's Warming eve later that year...the thing is Blacky...everything will be ok in the end."
Snow was a bit confused, and yes the entire group was listening, because...obvious is obvious, and Snow asked, "I am a bit confused but...how does us getting eaten an ok thing?"
Snow then looked up to the group and he said, "Well while we might be eaten, that doesn't mean we'll still go to a better place afterwards...there is always still heaven...isn't there?"
Blacky then said, "Kid...Heaven is not a place for us..I mean sure we could go since god allows anypony in as long as they weren't some kind of monster in their lives...but trust us kid...we've killed a lot...we've seen a lot...simply to put it...we're not heaven ponies. You might be a heaven pony, but with us....more than likely we'll be going to a bad place...for all of eternity too more than likely...."
Sky then said with a smile on his face, "Well try to look on the bright side then...at least you don't have to pay any types of taxes when you're gone. At least you won't have to fight anymore. At least you won't have to worry about age."
Blacky slowly looked up at Sky and he too slowly started to form a smile on his face.
He then gave a little chuckle and he then said, "You know...you may not be a killer...but at least you know how to turn a dark situation into a good one. And you know what...you have a point...we all don't have to pay taxes anymore."
Blacky then slowly got up from the dirt and he then looked to everyone else in the group and he then said, "I think...Sky is right...everything will be ok...we just have to keep our spirits up high and...if everything does go alright in the end like Sky says...maybe we'll be...seeing each other in a better place...if god allows it that is...and if not...."
Blacky then turned to face Sky with a smile on his face, "...well it was...nice knowing you Sky."
Sky then said, "It was nice knowing you too Blacky..."
Sky then looked towards everyone else in the group and he then said, "It was nice knowing all of you...I guess."
Snow then gave a little laugh and he then said, "I suppose that guess is right...we honestly haven't spoken much on while we were together haven't we?"
Snow then looked to the other three who had barely spoken anything at all. And all they did was mind their own business.
Snow then said, "Well...no one cared about them anyway."
Pink then had wide eyes and she started to look angered by what Snow had just said about her and she took offense and said, "Hey! And what in the name of Celestia is that supposed to mean!"
Mr. Brown then said, "I think he's calling us fucking stupid...are you going to let that mother fucker call us fucking names sis!?"
Pink then turned her anger towards her brother and then said to him, "Oh will you be fucking quiet already! You're the stupid one here! And besides, you're probably the fucking reason why we're in this mess in the first place, being stuck in this here cage!"
Mr. Brown then said, "ME!? What did I do, you're fucking bitch who look like a fucking slut...that's possibly why those cannibals got us because before they eat you, they want to eat that disgusting pussy of yours!"
Pink then said, "Now I know I didn't just hear that you fucking..."
They were then cut off by Sky's excessive laughing, and everyone in the group turned their heads to see Sky laughing like a maniac and Snow and Blacky noticed this. They then started to slowly laugh along with Sky while Star didn't show any emotions at all...because she is just about as an emotionless bitch like TK. Well enough said about that, Pink and Mr. Brown stopped what they were doing and looked at the three that were laughing and had confusing look on their faces.
They couldn't understand why they were laughing, so Pink spoke up and asked, "What's so funny?"
Sky then said, "We're laughing because you two don't talk very much, but when you two do...you two always fight and sometimes it's kind of funny!"
Sky continued to laugh with a smile on his face and as the three ponies laughed, Mr. Brown then said, "I don't get it though...what's so funny about us fighting?"
Mr. Brown then started to hear her sister laughing and he then switched his attention to her and he was then surprised to see her laughing along with the others.
Pink then said, "I get it! It's because you're such a stupid fucking pony....ha ha ha ha ha!!!"
Mr. Brown then started to get red with anger and he then said, "Hey! I'm not fucking stupid!"
Pink then fell to the ground on her back while laughing.
Mr. Brown, still furious, then looked towards Sky, the one who started all of this laughing nonsense in the first place, and said, "Hey! Quit laughing! I mean it! This is not fucking funny!"
And they all continued to laugh, except for Mr. Brown and Star...because for obvious reasons. And as they laughed, they slowly stopped laughing, but they all eventually had smiles on their faces and once there was only dead silence.
Blacky then said with a smile, "That was kind of funny Sky."
Mr. Brown then added in his two cents under his breath, "Well I didn't think it was that funny..."
Pink heard what Mr. Brown had to say about the matter and she then said, "Shut up! You were saying Blacky?"
Blacky then said, "Well it was just...funny...but...what are we going to do now? To pass the time I mean...before we all go our separate ways in death."
Sky thought for a moment and he then said, "I've got an idea."
And so time passed, Celestia's sun had finally set and Luna's night sky came out of hiding. The stars were out and the group could see all the stars and constellations above their little heads as the huge universe lingered over them.
The moon was also out nice and bright as well. The group decided to pass the time with conversations, either with songs or stories of their past. They had all gathered in a small circle, almost as if they were gathering around an imaginary fire place with the exception of Star who was just sitting nearby the edge of the cage and looking towards outside of their little prison. The group had talked and laughed and learned to live a little in their lives before their deaths.
They had spent their time wisely and their time was for the most part well spent. A few hours into the dead of night, like maybe around two in the morning I guess, and all the cannibals were in their beds, dreaming of eating people and I think one retarded looking one was dreaming of eating Luna's Legs or something like that. Well, there was still some out and about, especially one guarding the cage to make sure none of their food escaped.
And so, the group with the exception of Star, was sitting in a small circle within the center of their prison. They were talking and laughing, almost as if they were enjoying their time in the cage.
So let's pick up where Sky left off, oh yes...he was saying to Snow with a smile on his face, "Really Snow...you tried to fight a chicken?"
Snow then responded with a calm tone in his voice, "Yes well...that is what happens when you drink too much apple cider. It honestly tasted a little...how to you say...weird...."
Blacky then asked Snow, "How did you even get like that with just cider? I mean I know if you drink too much apple cider, you'll go a little crazy, but nothing like where you'll fight a chicken."
Snow then said, "Well after my little 'incident,' I talked to the owner of the bar according to him, he was on his way to some pony's farm to see if he couldn't get some of a pony's apple cider, I believe her name was Applejack or something like that. However as he was on his way there, he got a little lost and some pony that went by the name of Mac Farmer stopped him and sold him some apple cider. Apparently this Mac used his very own apples and were the best apples in all of Equestria."
Sky then asked Snow, "Was it really the best apples in Equestria?"
Snow then said, "How should I know? I don't live in Equestria."
Blacky then asked Snow, "What country are you from Snow? I possibly didn't get it when you know...when we met..."
Snow then said, "I live in Sa Ru....it's not too big, it's located somewhere in the north, so it's very cold there...need good, warm jacket sometimes when it's the winter time."
Blacky then said, "I see...well...it would be nice to visit it."
Snow then said, "Well if we did get out of here, I would take you all to my hometown, you could meet my family and friends and we could have a party all night long!"
Sky then said with a smile still attached to his face, "That would be nice...so what about you Blacky? Got any stories to tell from your past?"
Blacky then had a serious look on his face and he then said to the group, "Well...I don't know..."
Sky then said teasingly, "Oh come on Blacky...with all of those dark war stories...something light and funny must have happened to you?"
Blacky then started to have a little smirk grow across his face and he then said, "Alright...alright...I've got a story for you all...Now of course this was during the times of war, so it may not be set in a pleasant time, but I assure you...it's funny...ok so me and my squad were at the main base, ready to leave at dawn to go into battle. So it was in the middle of the night, I think around one or so...and so I was bunked up with a few other ponies. It was a small place, didn't have much aside from what we needed to carry and shit like that. Well, one of the guys thought it would have been a great idea to have a little party. I mean we were going into the battle the next morning and we weren't sure if we're going to come back or not, so we thought we were going to literally party as if there was no tomorrow.
'So we all agreed to have this party, put on some music, get a little crazy. However our general was in the base with us and of course we needed to keep it down so no one would hear anything, so we decided to make sure things wouldn't go crazy. So I was in charge of putting on the music, well unfortunately for me and all that was in the same room, I accidently set the music to the loudest setting. It could be heard throughout the entire base and...that general...he was furious. He yelled at us and he made us run laps around the entire base twenty one times to teach us a lesson. And boy were those ponies hating my guts...when we finally got back to our beds, they made sure I would never forget the mistake that I did."
Sky then asked, "What happened?"
Blacky then continued to say, "Well...the morning of the battle...they poured a bucket of very cold water with a lot of ice in it over my head while also throwing whatever was in the garbage at the same time. In other words I looked like a mess and was about to go into battle looking like a mess because we had no time to gather our things....just went straight into battle that morning, which we were in a cold place I mind you and...yeah....it was kind of silly of me fighting in a war with garbage all over me."
Sky gave a little chuckle but everyone else didn't show any emotion of laughing or enjoyment from Blacky's story. Blacky waited for a laugh, but it was just dead silence.
So Blacky then said as he leaned back a bit, "Nah....you new generations wouldn't know what's funny even if it hit you in the face. Or maybe it's a sign of that I'm getting way too old."
Sky then said with a little smile on his face, "Well, you are an old stallion."
Blacky then said, "Yeah well...that's what age does to you."
Sky then asked Blacky, "S-So you said that you went into battle that morning...was it a success or..."
Blacky then said, "It was a success....just sadly all those that I tried to party with that night all died sadly...only a few hundred made it that morning. But it was a tough war that we had to fight...and in war...no one comes out of it unchanged. You're either dead or you've seen just about the worst things you could ever see in your entire lives."
Sky then lost his smile and he then said to Blacky, "Oh...well....I'm really sorry to hear about that Blacky and what happened to them."
Blacky then said, "Don't worry about it...they were a bunch of assholes anyways....they had it coming to them from the very start of the war. Anyways, what about you...any funny stories you would like to share Sky?"
Sky then had his smile grow back on his face once more and he then said, "Well how about Star goes next?"
Everyone in the group then turned their heads to Star, in which case Star noticed their attention to her.
Sky then said, "Would you like to share anything Star? I mean...you haven't spoken a single word this entire time and...well...before we all.....perish....wouldn't you like to get something off your chest or say a few words before we meet our end?"
Star just simply stared at Sky with dead, cold eyes and nothing more. No response, just the stale silence in the air. Once Sky saw she wouldn’t budge to talk or anything of that sort, he started to look disappointed and had a small frown form upon his empty face.
Blacky saw this and he put a hoof on Sky’s shoulder and said to him, “It’s fine, if she doesn’t want to say any last words before death, let her. Besides, I honestly think that’s the best last words that anypony can say. Saying absolutely nothing at all."
Sky looked towards Blacky and he then said, “I know but…I just want to make sure we all die in peace instead of having a restless soul. I mean we are all friends here…aren’t we? We look out for each other?”
Blacky silently nodded his head and Sky had a smile on his face once more. This made him reassured that everything will be ok in the end. They then both went back to thinking whatever was on their mind and looking up at the stars, thinking about life and what had past them by as they lived their lives day by day.
For a moment, to them it was all peaceful and everything almost felt right…you know aside from the being inside a cage and about to be eaten at whatever point. However, they seemed ready for death, they were prepared, for while it may not be a pretty way to go, they had accepted everything and their defeat. They had made peace within themselves, and while it may not have been written in stone as to what they made peace with, they were all assured they made peace within themselves and in the end, Sky was right…everything was going to be ok.
However, soon their peace was disturbed and Blacky could sense something was wrong. Remember that death like shadow figure…pony..guy thing..from earlier? Well…he could sense that death was near once more for him and his group…but yet it wasn’t the cannibals…but as if their deaths and their peace was going to be teased with and they’re not done yet.
As if they will be put out of their peace to go back into what they were supposed to be doing. Blacky had a feeling in his gut that Death was near..and that feeling wasn’t good either. What happened next was that a cannibal came running from outside the area where the cannibals had set up their temporary home.
The cannibal came rushing in, almost out of breath, and started to yell, “gbihih friue efviuefv eiuer eriuef deiuef eiuef efiuofe feiuo uoy kcuf eriuer dfjdf dejdf!!!!”
This woke up the entire tribe of cannibals, as all the ponies came running out with their bows and arrows and knives and whatever weapons they had. Some ran like normal ponies while others were abnormal like how a retarded guy would run..almost like a monkey.
Even Wise Heart was out, not running with the others, but with a smile on her face and waiting peacefully for whatever was going to happen next, however Talking Words was running near.
Blacky saw this and up from the dirt and he quickly got as close as he could to Talking, pretty much to where the cage ends on the other side of the cage and he said, “Hey! Talking Words! What’s going on? Why is everypony going crazy?”
Talking Words quickly looked at him and said before he went running off with a smile on his face, “We have f-f-fresh meat near!”
And Talking Words went running off with the others. While the cannibals were after new blood, Blacky simply walked backwards into the center of cage slowly with a worried look upon his brow.
He then said, “Oh…I do hope that poor soul is able escape this fate that we have to face.”
Snow then said, maybe to calm him down, “Relax, if he or she ends up like us, we’ll just talk it all out…who knows…might be fun to make new friend right before death."
Sky then had a sad look on his face as well and he then said, “I just hope whoever it is doesn’t get caught. Sure we might be in this, but that doesn’t mean anypony else needs to be in our position."
Blacky then said, “Well…we just have to wait and see what happens.”
And so they waited for the tribe to come back either empty handed or with something New and Tasty to have for later.
1 HOUR LATER
So the group waited and waited, but all they could see was Wise Heart standing there completely still and in complete silence. It was weird..and it did look weird. It was almost weird as how Cow Tippers are…I mean…Cow Tippers…they’re just disgusting little creatures…which basically makes up the majority of the human population. Most of them still live in developing countries as well.
Anyways, the group waited and waited for some sort of sign of what will come next, but all they got was silence. Pure, utter, scary, silence with a bit of bugs making noises in the far background that lived nearby. Well, they eventually saw a sign, and when I mean by they, I mean by Blacky.
You see, Blacky was minding his own business, just waiting like the rest of the group. He was sitting near the end of the cage, looking at the dirt while making little circles in it with his right hoof, until something caught his left eye. The others didn’t notice this but Blacky did, and from the way that the group came, Blacky started to see what was like a shadow.
And if you Cow Tippers ask how the shadow was made at the dead of night, well the cannibals were carrying torches...just makes logical sense is all. Well, the shadow started to take the shape of death, and Blacky saw this and started to show a little fear in his eyes. He had seen death earlier, but he thought he was just simply hallucinating then…but now it seemed it was been popping up again.
He was thinking perhaps it was just a way his body was reacting towards death that was near and he was going to be eaten and so he is just seeing his imagination. Or perhaps, there was a deeper meaning to all of this, perhaps it was a ghost…one of the victims that died long ago and it was just haunting him. You know, like every time you buy a Winchester gun, you get haunted by the ghosts from the Winchester house.
Who knows…Blacky couldn’t make out what was going to happen next or who owned that particular shadow…well until he saw the one that took hold of the shadow. It was TF…and he was leading the cannibals. Blacky saw TF’s shadow and it reflected death, however he knew he was just seeing things, so to make sure he was correct, he quickly rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t going too crazy.
After he took both of his hooves and rubbed his eyes and took another look, TF’s shadow returned to normal, but TF was looking straight at him. No smile, no feeling of happiness that his group that he was leading was safe and sound, or at least for the moment that is. All TF did was give him a certain look that said that he has some serious business planned for the future and that he is not to be messed with, but he couldn’t figure out what that look meant.
In a way…it dumbfounded him, but as he was looking at TF, the others saw him not being held captive by the cannibals, but instead seemed to have been leading them. They’re jaws dropped to the floor and questioned as to what was happening. They were surprised that TF had came, not only that, but he was unharmed and untouched.
However, all were surprised except for Blacky. He on the other hand had a different view. He had a gut feeling more or less, that something bad was going to come from this. As in, it would have been better for them to just have been eaten alive instead of going with TF. That TF would become a grave mistake for them, and of course from what I’ve told you so far, isn’t this obvious already to you Cow Tippers?
If not…then you might want to get your eyes checked by a nun…she’ll fuck your eye sockets and then…if you’re worthy enough…god might piss some holy water in it and you might be able to see again. Anyways, even though your guys might know it will go down a bad path for them, but to Blacky, at least for the time, he couldn’t put his hoof on it…finger…hoof…whatever…and that TF was not as friendly as he said he was as they were traveling to chase down Knight…me…you get the idea.
However, that look continued to puzzle Blacky’s mind, what did it mean? To him he felt like it was going to drive him crazy if he did not get an answer anytime soon. However, there was no time to sit down and think and ponder within his own mind as to what could be so bad about TF giving him that one particular look. He could tell it had meant something negative, but what specifically he could not say. However, time kept moving forward, and so what everything else was happening front of his two eyes.
TF looked away from the group as the others in the group simply smiled, well at least one of them did, Sky. Blacky had looked over to Sky and he could see a big smile on his face that wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Blacky had looked at this as TF was walking slowly towards Wise Heart. Blacky saw Sky’s face and he could tell it was filled with so much hope, so much innocence, that they were not going to die at all. He could tell that Sky knew everything was going to be ok in the end, just as he said.
He saw the trust that he had with TF, the amount of trust that he would to trust his own life with TF. He had overheard back at the tracks with TF promising to Sky that he is good, that he is his friend and that all will be alright. He had heard that promise, and while he didn’t care as much about it, now all of a sudden in his heart he started to care about the kid. He was old enough to be on his own, sure, but he was still young in this world that they were living in.
In the end, he could easily be manipulated, he could easily lose the rest of his life if he was not smart enough and considering with his own experience throughout his many years in life, he could tell that the kid needs to learn not to be mislead by those that try to hurt him. And as they had talked and bonded a little bit, he felt in his heart for once that he had not felt in a long time: the feeling of caring for another pony.
He had not cared about another pony since his mother, ever since after her death, he had been on his own and not really cared about any other pony. But being with Sky, he actually felt like some sort of father figure and wanting to shield him from the bad things in the world. That he wanted to protect him and teach him the things that he needs to know to be on his own one day. In a way, his entire world up until this point was grim and dark, nothing but cloudy skies and terrible views upon other ponies and life itself. However, he started to feel a little something in his heart, a little friendship perhaps, a little fire starting to rise within him that would show him a different path to life.
A kind one at that, to where he could show kindness and try to be friendly to others as he went on with the rest of his life, or at least with whatever he had left since he wasn’t young as he used to be.
In a way, he had felt the innocence that Sky had always felt, and he had not felt this way since he was a little colt. And now he felt it once more, but not as a child, but as a pony in general, a pony that shows kindness and friendship to other ponies. In other words, his world was starting to turn from grim and dark to bright and happiness.
Starting to that is, he would have had a long ways to go in order to rid of himself of all that is bad, or at least rid of his soul of the blood of the ponies that he has killed in the past…even if it was justified. He had a dark past, but in a way he could be redeemed for his actions he made last. Blacky then looked back towards TF and it seemed that, along with Talking Words, they were communicating very well together.
There didn’t seem to be any hostile gestures, if anything TF was smiling a little bit, but not a good kind of smile. If anything, it looked like a mischief type of smile. It looked like there was an evil intention by his smile. However, they soon stopped talking and looked towards their direction. Once they did that, Blacky felt a little uncomfortable.
Then the three of them made their way to the cage and everyone in the group took a few steps back from the door…whatever it’s called…to the cage. When they did so, Wise Heart opened the cage, while I’m also assuming unlocking it…since…it’s a cage and all…because when I was reviewing the past it looked like the cannibals had done something to secure the cage’s door…but that’s aside the point. Wise Heart opened the cage and TF made a silent gesture to walk out.
The group did so slowly one by one, except for Sky who ran out first with a smile on his face and immediately hugged TF. TF had a little smile on his face, but it was more or less just an act that he put on to disguise his true feelings. When Sky touched TF, he made sure to give him a big hug and wrapped his hooves around TF’s neck.
When he did so, he closed his eyes for a second and said, “You saved us! I knew there was still some hope!”
Sky then got off of TF and TF continued the conversation with, “Yes…well…had to keep my promise as a good friend.”
Sky then said, “You sure did…but…how did you get us out? I mean…when we saw you…you were not being taken in by the cannibals like we did. What happened?”
The rest of the group started to gather around TF as he was about to explain what had happened.
TF then said, “Yes well…after you all left, I stayed by the area where Knight was at. He had gone into the nearby camp and taken in with care, but that was the last I saw of him. If I had to guess, he found some place warm and some food in his stomach for the night. And as the sun had set in the distance I waited and waited for you to return.
'However, not a single one of you returned, something I “feared,” but nonetheless should have been expected. I apologize for this inconvenience, all of you I “promise” I won’t put you all in danger like that ever again. I do “hate” myself for doing such a terrible thing, and do “hope” for your forgiveness. But, aside from that, as time went on and as the moon rises into the night sky, I had thought that I needed to come find you. Not only to mention, I had a “gut feeling” that you needed to be rescued. So I made my way towards here and while I was attacked by cannibals at first, I simply yelled out that I had a “deal” for them…a deal they could not refuse. And somehow by some “luck” they understood me and accepted it. And then they brought me over and I talked to Wise Heart, and she accepted my offer.”
Snow then asked, “If you don’t mind us asking…what was this…deal?”
TF then said, “Well…I prefer not to, but if you must know…I simply made a trade. Your lives for another set of lives, or in their terms, food for more food. You are only six, not something new for them, they have slaughtered groups like that before, but I offered them a more bigger group to feed upon. And while I understand that is quite a huge loss of life too that is to come, please understand that would be the only way to set you all free, for the only other option is to attack and kill all of these cannibals and burn them into oblivion, however considering we are all out numbered, if you all want to live, which I’m very sure you all want to do, then a sacrifice had to be made. And yes Sky, I know this is bad, but it was the only way to save a “good friend” of mine from death.”
Sky started to have a look of horror and shock on his face. He had thought TF was only going to take Knight’s life away, not many others, however, he knew what to expect now since he has been on this trip for a good while. He was almost eaten alive even, but still, down within his own heart he knew it wasn’t right, even if these ponies did deserve death, they shouldn’t be eaten alive. However, Sky knew the deal was struck and nothing more could be done, but he still needed one question to be answered.
Sky had asked TF, “Who did you trade our lives for TF?”
TF then responded with, “Well…the ponies that are keeping Knight…in other words the camp site. By afternoon tomorrow, they will all perish. Not only to mention Knight will more than likely still be there by the time they attack the site, so we could “end” this all very quickly with all of our lives still intact. However, don’t expect it to be a pretty site, you are welcome to stay far away from the attack if you wish, but you may join us as well if you wish to do so. The choice is yours. And do worry Sky, I understand how hard for you this may be to comprehend, but please understand out here, there is only but a cruel world that awaits and unsuspecting souls with no thoughts of peace of any kind within their hearts. But do not be afraid, you have us now.
'However if you need time to process all of this information in your head, you will have all night and tomorrow morning to do so, but in the afternoon the attack will commence if you like it or not. Unless of course you do want to be eaten alive, then be my guest. Just try to understand I am looking out for you, but the first step in being tough as you say you wanted to become while on this trip is to also help yourself. So, if anypony needs me, I’ll be to the west of this area talking with Wise Heart.”
TF then left to do what he had just said he was going to do while Sky sat there, a bit confused, but understood completely what TF had said. He was not shocked, just disturbed and depressed. All he did was look towards the ground and never upwards, and Blacky saw this.
He had some worry about Sky so he went towards him to see what he could do to ease the mental pain that Sky just had received, for he was just a simple, little, happy, innocent pony brought into a dark world and still trying to adjust to it. And clearly it was not an easy transition that he was going through, however, on the other hand...hoof...whatever...Blacky didn't want him to transition into the dark side of life.
Part of him wanted to see Sky kept in the light where he didn't need to see any terror that plagued the abandoned parts of Equestria and beyond by normal pony society. Not only to mention Sky was still young so he had so much ahead of him and he certainly didn't need his world filled with darkness and despair just yet.
He knew that Sky wouldn't be able to be kept in the light for very long, especially with how the world was slowly changing around them. I mean, guns were just introduced, a new invention by TF that revolutionized how ponies fight in wars, but it will surly bring new challenges within the entire land of Equestria.
And besides, with an ever changing world, more than likely Sky will encounter a pony that just hates others being happy and will try to harm him, but still, at this point, he just wanted to make sure Sky wasn't turned into a killer or a monster yet.
For Blacky, he felt like Sky should at least have some more time to enjoy the joys of life that isn't filled with darkness, but instead filled with light and happiness, he would figure that Sky would have at least a good ten to twenty one years before something drastic happens and he would have to become a killer to survive. Granted Blacky didn't feel like the world was changing, he felt that Sky's world was changing, and within his world, it didn't need to be changed just yet.
So Blacky went towards Sky to comfort him and slowly put his right hoof on his shoulder lightly. Sky felt a light touch from a hoof and slowly turned to see Blacky standing right behind him with a little smile, but all Sky could produce was a little frown.
Blacky saw this and thought that he could do more to cheer him up, but instead, Sky moved away from Blacky and said, "I just want to be by myself for a bit...thanks though..."
Sky then walked away and oddly enough walked back into the cage. Not sure why he would do that...but who the fuck knows..maybe it's symbolism...and Sky is self-aware in my journal....anyways, Blacky saw this and was a bit disappointed that he couldn't make Sky think a different way instead of being all doom and gloom. However, he just watched as Sky headed back to the cage they were previously were in and laid down with a sad face while looking down at the ground. Blacky then gave a little sigh and Snow went up beside him and was looking at what Blacky was looking at...which was Sky.
Snow then turned to Blacky and he then said, "So...still think that Sky is innocent and is not the traitor?"
Blacky then felt a little confused, but then a bit angered by Snow's comment as it felt stupid and illogical.
So Blacky turned around and then said, "How is the way he reacting right now proves that he is a traitor?"
Snow then said, "Do you not see it my friend? He's playing us all, trying to make us think he is not a killer. I mean why else would TF bring him along with us if he so weak?"
Blacky then said, "TF said he wasn't meant to come with us, Sky volunteered to come with us."
Snow then said, "Are you sure? I took what you said into consideration...and perhaps you're half right. TF has something to do with the traitor being among us, but he is not the traitor. Sky is the one who will stab us all in the back once our backs are turned while TF looks the other way. And when TF is by himself, Sky will stab him in the back too. If anything, TF is like us, he is a friend and is not the traitor. If anything he's our friend here, not Sky. What reason he has against us, I am not sure...yet...but whatever the reason might be, it does not matter. What matters is that we either kill him first before he kill us, or at least prove his guilt in front of the others."
Blacky then felt a little angered by Snow's response, so he then said back, "Sky couldn't be the one. Look at him...he's a young kid that just got a little taste of tough love from his so called friend TF. Not only to mention he's no killer...if anything he's just a soul that needs a little guidance in this world."
Snow then asked Blacky, "Are you saying you're starting to care for him?"
Blacky then said, "Well..maybe a little...throughout all of my years all I've seen is death and destruction. Sure every now and then I get to kick back my hooves at a bar somewhere out west, get a pint of beer or whatever that will make me not remember what happened the previous night, maybe even just enjoy a glass of nice apple cider as well, and just relax until I have to keep moving. And besides, I know how tough this world is...and I'm sure both of us know how cruel it can be, especially for a pony that only knows rainbows and sun shine.
'Heck, when I first met Sky, he seemed like some annoying pest that would slow down the entire group and that we were going to have to carry his ass all through the trip. However, as time went on...I started to have a little soft spot for him. I mean like he said, he just wants to learn to be tough...and while that's nothing to me...what gets me is that he's this young pony, all he knows about is friendship or whatever it is out there in that happy land of his...and yet he wants to leave the comfort of his own home to try and be tough. In a way..I feel bad for him...and I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I'm guessing I'm trying to be a like a father like figure, but instead of raising him, I'm teaching him how the rest of the world works.
'And chances are if he is taught right, he'll be on his way back home, take care of his future family, and teach his children the same thing and continue throughout the generations. One day...one of these days the ponies that live their happy place aren't going to be that way forever. One of these days...everypony in this world will eventually experience something terrible beyond their imagination.
'And it's not a gut feeling, that's a fact. And that's because the world is rapidly changing...especially with guns being made and being introduced into new territories...I mean as long as I've used guns...I've seen at least fifty ponies get shot and killed and endure incredible amounts of pain.
'For Celestia's sake I even got shot once, it was in my left hoof, but luckily I was able to find a doctor that started to study the damages that guns can make and thankfully he was smart enough to start healing gun wounds. Granted I'm sure there is much more to know about guns and bullets as the years goes by, but I got the bullet out of my hoof, it hurt like a bitch though, but I survived nonetheless.
'Now imagine five or ten years from now when more shit like that gets advanced...who knows...we might be fighting wars on the moon next, or other planets more or less. And maybe in the end we'll be so advanced that we'll be killing each other in heaven and whatever lies below our hooves. The point is that I feel bad for Sky...he knows nothing of this cruel world that we're in...and at some point, or maybe not him but his grandchildren will have to suffer what will come that will be in the coming years as technology becomes better and ponies continue to have a thirst for blood and death, at least they will be ready to survive. If I found out he died and suffered that many others will suffer in the future...in a way it would surprisingly break my heart."
There was silence for a few second, until Snow broke it and said, "You make a very good point, but here is where you are wrong my friend. Sky might seem weak, friendly, but that is what he wants you to think. We are fighters Blacky, we have killed and survived wars and fights, so we have some sort of idea of how the enemy thinks. We’re too smart to be tricked into thinking that we’re following a leader that will end up killing us.
'However, let us say you are right and that TF is going along with this whole thing and wanting us dead. Well a smart enemy would try to have another pony do the dirty work for him and that is why he chose Sky to come along with us, to make us think he is innocent, but really deep down he is a killer at heart. However I do not believe that TF has anything to do with this and that Sky is acting alone on this one. He’ll make us think that he is some simple nopony and wants to be tough like us. Then he’ll break us down without us even realizing it. And once we have our back turns he’ll kill everypony in our group and run away like the traitor he is.”
Blacky fired back and said, “That wouldn’t happen Snow…I’ve been with Sky long enough to know that he is no killer.”
Snow then said, “You’ve only been with him for a short period of time. How could you possibly figure out that he is innocent?”
Blacky then said, “I’ve been through some tough times Snow. I’ve been through war and gun fights. I’ve killed many in my time here in this world, worked with other ponies to kill even more ponies! With my experience, I can tell when a pony is scared of dying, when a pony knows how to kill just by taking one good look at a pony’s eyes. That look of needing to end some living thing’s life. The eyes that has seen death before them. The look that says ‘I’m going to kill you when you’re not looking.’ Sky doesn’t have that look. All I see when I look into his eyes is a harmless young kid that is scared, but yet doesn’t want to be scared anymore. I can tell he does want to fight back, but he doesn’t know how to yet. And I’m going to teach him.”
Snow then responded with, “Hmph….you’re wasting your time and energy….he already knows how to fight back…you could be using your time more wisely in trying to find a way to take him down and kill him before he kills us.”
Blacky then said, “If you’re so certain..then why don’t you go up to him, point that gun of yours towards his head and see how he reacts. See what TF will think once that poor kid is yelling for help and questioning why you would want to hurt him.”
Then there was silence. Snow just gave Blacky a dead eyed look as Blacky gave Snow a stern look.
Snow then broke the silence once more and said to him, “I will give a little story to tell you Blacky. Once during a civil war that my country was having, we were stationed up in the mountains. It was only me and my squad, there were seven of us counting me. We were cut off and had no communications with any other squads or even our superiors. It was just the seven us on the mountain…not only to mention we were only provided a small, broken log cabin. It was infested with bugs and some of the material was starting to decay inside the cabin. All we had was our weapons, our wits, our small food supply, and a small fire for all seven of us to keep warm.
'Only to make it worse, there was a blizzard that covered the mountain while we were there. We only had to be there for seven days, seems harsh right? Well where we come from…we are made strong, we are trained to be strong and not to be some weakling asking for help. And on the side of the war we were on, we were willing to die for it, we were willing to lose a limb due to frost bite if we had to do so. So we were stationed there and we had to tough it all out. The first day went alright.
'The second day we all speculated there was a traitor among us from the other side of the war, a spy was trying to gather all the information that he could receive. The third day one of the ponies died due to the cold. The fourth day, we started to go a little mad in trying to figure out who it was. The fifth day we couldn’t trust each other, and that is sad since we were supposed to work as a team and do our part. However we just instead tried to keep as far apart from each other as we could. The sixth day…it was the breaking point where one of the ponies broke and was tired of waiting for who he thought the traitor was and killed another.
'Then another tried to kill him but they ended up killing each other. So there was only three left by now. Two are innocent and one is a traitor. Sad to say I had thought it was the one that I made friends with. He seemed so suspicious and I was so sure he was the one, I even made plans on smothering him in his sleep before he could kill me and the other one. But in the middle of the night, I woke up to hearing screams of terror, and wouldn’t you know it, it was the other pony, and this pony acted that he was weak, but we were going to train him to be strong like the rest of us. Turns out the weakling was the traitor the entire time and he had plans of killing me as well.
'Well, as I was saying, he killed my friend by stabbing him in his heart several times. Then he slit his throat and slowly watched all the blood come out. Then he turned towards my direction and was going to kill me next, however he had thought I was still asleep, but instead I was only taking a little peek with the blanket mostly covering my head. And once he came close enough, I jumped out at him, broke the arm that he was holding the knife with, and took the weapon from him.
'When I was holding it, I could see the fear in his eyes, and so he tried to run away. The sun was starting to rise on the seventh day, so I chased after him, but he didn’t get too far with a broken forearm. So what happened was that he lost his hoofing by a tree, perfect for a rope to be hanging by one of the branches..and wouldn’t you know it, we had some rope that my friend had brought along. So I took that rope, went towards the traitor, made a noose, and hung him from the tree branch that was right above him.
'And as the sun rose in the distance and the blizzard had disappeared, his hanged like a rag doll…however we also respect our enemies from where we come from, especially those that put up a decent fight. So I buried him right beneath where he hanged along with burying everypony else on that mountain. You see Blacky…I don’t want to see my friends dying like last time…I don’t want a traitor killing my group like last time. However I don’t want to be the only one that gets to hang him either. Good night Blacky…you get some rest…we'll talk about this when the sun rises. Assuming if you have stomach to talk to me that is.”
Snow then walked away to go find a place to sleep while Blacky stood there, thinking about what he had just said to him. However, despite the story he was just told, in his heart, he knew that Sky was not the traitor. However, he could also feel in his heart that the traitor will not come out very easily.
About 14 hours later…
BACK TO KNIGHT:
Ok…good..we’re back to me…seems like a long time has passed since I've talked about what happened to me, but…you know...whatever…that’s just me. Well, where shall I pick up at?
I remember…now…back to 9/11…wait…was I talking about 9/11 before I gave the other viewpoint? I’m sure it had something to do with 9/11…because it was just as a disaster like 9/11…or was 9/11 a big scam for Baskin Robins? Whoa...I don’t even remember what I wrote…or…I could just wing it…and write a whole saga about 9/11 fan fiction…porn…ah...who cares anymore…9/11 porn is outdated by now. Let me look back..hold on…looking back….ok now I remember. So if you recall I found that campsite with the ponies and shit…right?
Well what happened was that while TF and his group stayed where they were at and didn’t follow me, I ran to the tents, trying to see if I couldn’t get the attention of the ponies at the camp site. The sun was high in the sky and I was tired as fuck from all of that running.
Well, as I was running, the ponies saw me as they were working and such, but they saw me running and saw me in some distressed. Some didn't stop working, but others did and welcomed me into their camp with open arms...hooves...whatever. When I was close enough, one of the ponies from the camp site held up a hoof for me to stop and to relax. The pony looked middle aged and had a beanie hat on that seemed to fit comfortable on his pony head. He had a little rough beard on his face and his mane color was all grey. He wore a grey coat as it was cold outside. He also had an axe and a log for a cutie mark. He was also a unicorn.
When I had came to a complete stop, he had a hoof around my neck and asked me, "Are you alright there? What's the rush?"
I was trying to stand and catch my breath, I tried my best to respond. Granted I was tired from walking and running all day and trying to escape from TF's group that I didn't want to talk anymore. I just simply wanted to rest and have something to eat.
Sure I could go without eating, but at that point my pony stomach was rumbling and was aching for something to eat, but yet at the same time I was tired and just wanted to rest for a little while. If anything I just didn't want to speak to another single soul until the next morning came.
So, I responded with, "Long story...but for now can I have place to sleep for the tonight or something or am I going to have to run away from you guys too?"
The pony then said, "Well...we're not a bed and breakfast...but yet we don't mind helping out others and...well..."
the pony had to think about it for a while.
The pony then said to me, "Alright, alright, you can stay here for the night. We have a little place where you can stay at for the night. But can I get your name though?"
I then said, "The name is Knight...now can we please go...I feel like not talking anymore if you don't mind."
The pony then got his hoof off my neck and he then said, "Of course, of course...follow me. I'll also let the boss know you're here and we're talk in the morning. Just to let you know, I'm not entirely sure what to do in this situation. We never had a pony just come out from nowhere from the woods and asking for a place to sleep, but we're ponies after all. We help each other out I suppose."
He then started to walk towards the tents and I followed him as he was walking. I then started to notice that the pony who welcomed me had a little Irish accent, so my guess he was a foreigner. But as long as he wasn't a sand pony that wear towels on their head and believe in a religion that if anyone else doesn't follow the said religion, that they should die along with singing random noises...we would be fine....oh shit I meant to say Muslim pony....that's the word that I wanted to say.
Although, as long as the pony wasn't from North Korea either, we would be fine as well. Why? Well...let's just say you will hear the Wii Shop menu music whenever they are about to drop a nuke. and I'm sure if he was from North Korea, there would have been the Wii Shop music playing somewhere to let me know he's about to kill me.
As we were walking, we walked past ponies that were working, either taking care of some farm animals or chopping up wood for the fire or something like that. They didn't bother to pay attention to me at all, in fact I think they could have cared any less of my presence being there at the time.
As we were going to the tent, the pony then said, "By the way, my name is Axe. I know it's a weird name, but my parents weren't very smart when they named me. In fact as my mother told me my dad was drunk when I was born and my mother couldn't care any less about me. In fact she cared enough about me whatever the law required...what about you? Why you're called Knight? I mean, I don't see any cutie mark on you or anything...just curious is all."
I then said, "Well...do you want the truth or the lie?"
Axe then said, "The truth of course. Why would I want a lie?"
Knight then said, "Well sometimes the lie is better than the truth. Anyways the truth is I have no idea why I have that name."
Axe then said to me, "Alright then."
After that we didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day. In fact I then realized how stupid I was to even talk about my name and why I chose it. Although I was telling the truth though, I'm not one hundred percent sure why I even chose the name Knight.
Sure it sounds cool like I said, that's why TK is called The Knight...but yet...I'm not sure why I even chose that name in the first place...especially on the night that I met TK and Lawman. I mean with the ponies, the name somewhat reflects on the personality of the pony...or the job that they have or whatever.
For me, I was a blank flank and no real rhyme or reason why I had and why I have that name in the first place. I mean, it doesn't really fit me how I was, but yet, it felt right. However, whatever the reason was I chose that name didn't matter as I was tired and hungry.
So we went to the tent. It was all empty but it did have a small bed for me to lay on. I went inside the tent and soon collapsed due to how tired I was. The bed felt soft enough to lay my head on a somewhat ok pillow to go off to dreamland. There was a blanket of course, but I didn't care about it since I just wanted to fall asleep gently.
After that happened, I closed my eyes and went to sleep. And of course Axe went away to go back to work and alert the boss that I was at the camp site, more than likely to ask me questions as well as to why I was there or some shit like that. Soon I was asleep and drifted off to sleepy land. The thing was I had a weird dream. I was in a dark place, nothing but darkness, but then I found some light.
It was fairly dim, but I followed it nonetheless. Soon the light got a little bit brighter and then I came across to see the Universe standing on rock formation structure with the galaxies and the stars behind him. He was not looking at me, but instead starring off into the distance, as if it was calm and thinking about whatever it was that it was trying to think. Granted I didn't remember the Universe from the last time I had met him, but it was there. Soon the Universe moved its head down and looked like it could sense something.
It then spoke, "He has returned...but yet he is not awake. His soul is still asleep, but nevertheless he has returned. Never thought he would come back...thought he would be lost forever and to never be seen again. Well...it looks like I have work to do then."
And then all of a sudden that ended and I was then transported into what was Earth for me. I was looking around and it appeared to be that I was in the state of California. I looked around and everything was fine and dandy. But then...the terror started to happen. Off into the distance I heard what was the Wii Shopping channel music.
And then I looked up in the sky and there it was, a giant metal plane in the sky with the North Korean flag on it.
And while the plan was getting ever so closer as the music was growing ever so louder, everyone was panicking and they said, "HA...OH MY GOD...IT'S COMING TO GET US! EVERYONE...WE'RE ALL FUCKED! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD EVERYONE RUN FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!"
And everyone was running away as I was running too because I knew what it meant. The North Koreans were going to drop a nuke on us. See...what I told you all before? That shit always happens.
And then the North Koreans dropped a nuke on us as calm music played in the background and everyone died a slow and painful death.....although not before I heard all of a sudden the song Stand By Me being played alongside the Mii Channel music.
It was odd to say the least. But that wasn't the end of my dreams. I had a few more places that I was quickly transported to. The next place that I appeared in was back on Earth again.
However, I was in my old room that I vaguely remembered. I was still in my usual clothing, with the black jacket and all. I then looked all around and saw all the posters I had up, the game consoles, the TV set, along with other various other things that you would see in a teen's room from the time of 2013, since that was the year that I had left Earth and discovered the portal and shit. And then I looked towards my bed and there was no one in it. But then I looked behind me to see my past self sitting in a chair and looking down at the floor and shaking his head.
In other words, it was the old me, the one that was still a kid and was living a normal life. And he was wearing the cloths that I wore back then, a simple T-shirt, blue jeans, shoes and all. A simple hair cut and was pretty much what you would say on an average person. And then my past self slowly looked up and started to laugh a little, in which case I was a bit confused.
Then I said, "Uhh...why are you laughing?"
My past self then said, "Don't you recognize me? I'm you. You should be laughing with me instead of asking questions?"
I then said, "I kind of recognize you. Are you...supposed to me?"
My past self then said, "Oh how much you have forgotten. This is just...sad...you know? I mean don't you remember who you are?"
I then stayed silent, and soon that smile went away on my past self and he then said to me, "Of course...I should be more specific with you. Don't you remember who you ONCE WERE?"
I then said to my past self, "No...not exactly."
Then my past self said, "I was wrong...this isn't sad...it's pathetic. Let me guess...you don't remember your own name either, do you?"
I was then silent for a bit until I eventually said, "No...no I don't..well...I do remember that it started with a B."
My past self then looked towards the floor once more and he started to look a little unease and he then said, "Started with a B? And are you even confident with your answer at all?"
I then said to him, "Well yes of course I am...wait...no...no I'm not...no wait...yes...yes I'm confident...maybe?"
My past self then said to me, "You have changed haven't you? How many years has it been Knight? How many years has it been since you last remembered what you did in the past as a human being?"
I then said to my past self, "Well, I don't really keep count too often, I just know it's over 55,000 years by this point. Or was that 56,000? I don't know, but I'm sure I'll figure it out later."
My past self then said, "Wow....I think I'm jealous...but then again I'm not really."
I then said to my past self, "Who are you even supposed to be anyways? I mean this is just a dream! Why am I even talking to my own self in a dream for fuck's sake!? I mean why am I dreaming about my old self that is long gone by now and instead dream up something more interesting...like a giant joint talking to me or maybe even a giant kitty cat eating its own rainbow sherbet shit that it crapped out of its asshole!"
My past self then said to me, "You bet your ass this is a dream, but I'm not a dream. I am you...or at least what once was you."
I then said "What are you trying to get at?"
My past self then said, "This...room that you are in...it's all but a part of your own memory and mind. It's practically the only thing that remains in your memory of your old life while the rest have decayed and left and forgotten. Sure there's a little bit more other stuff that you remembered, but still, in the end, this is only what you remember that is left in your own mind. And as for me, I am real, although...not for long though."
I then asked my past self, "What are you trying to say? Are you another TF that I have to try and fight and all of a suddenly deal with?"
My past self then said, "No..I'm not one of your creations. I'm not what you call Black either. I'm instead what you once were, who you once was. I am that teenager that you once was that was just beginning High School and fresh out of Middle School."
I then said to my past self, "I don't follow."
Then my past self started to get up from his seat and he then gave a slight sigh.
My past self then said, "Let me explain to you how this works. I am what you saw in the mirror, assuming whenever you did of course back then, I am your old identity. I am that old human being that you once were that was living amongst every other human being on Earth. I am in a sense part of your soul Knight. But then when you got out of that cabin that one night and went to the outside of the universe, you all of a sudden changed slowly.
'You started to get somewhat cocky as well. And then all of sudden now you're this. You're still somewhat human...but not entirely. You just moved on to a whole another identity and personality that your soul and mind changed to when it happened. And now I'm just a memory of your former self that is slowly decaying away. And as time passes, I will be gone forever and there will be little left for you to remember. You might remember something's like locations...but you'll never truly remember how you once were. The only thing that will remain once I have decayed away is that way a teen always act: dumb and stupid."
I then said to my past self, "That's a bit harsh...I mean...sure I might be dumb sometimes...but not that dumb and stupid."
My past self then said, "Exactly Knight. That's what I'm getting at...and you...you right now are sometimes acting like a dumb teen!"
My past self then gave a little sigh and he then said, "Why did you have to leave so soon Knight? Why? You knew for a fact that you wasn't done yet with Earth and what it had to offer. You had some unfinished business and if you had finished that business of yours, maybe you wouldn't be acting so dumb and stupid all the time right now. Your old identity, me, is restless right now and...it's because I never got to finish what I wanted to do back on Earth, what...we needed to do.
'And now you'll continue to be acting like a dumb teen as that is how you left it, you never fully developed your mind Knight. Your mind needed to experience something's before you had left in order to get a sense of reality. And now at times you act like an adult and at other times a dumb kid. And that's what I am...a dumb kid that was once you and I am attached to your soul. And as time passes by Knight, I will slowly fade away, without a voice of my own either. I'll forever will be drifting away into the everlasting darkness and forever be erased from your mind and your own history. And when I'm gone, you'll no longer be dumb and stupid, you'll be acting the age that you're supposed to be in a sense.
'More or less like a serious adult that isn't dumb and stupid all the time. Maybe a hint of dumb and stupidity will be left behind, but...in the end, you'll just have yourself and the identity that you traded your old identity for: Knight. And to be honest, that's not the only reason why you act the way that you do...but...why am I even trying to explain this to you? You don't even believe that I am real right now...do you?"
I then said to my past self, "Not exactly...no...but are you a changeling by chance?"
My past self then said, "That's...what I'm getting at. I don't even know why I bothered even try to talk to you tonight Knight. I mean, you were very tired and so clearly that meant your brain and mind was going to be left open to your conciseness to talk about everything. What happened to you Knight? What happened to us? You were a teen that was doing good in school, had a chance to go to a good college, get a girlfriend, get hitched, have a couple of kids, and live life like anyone would want to live it."
I then said in my defense, "Now from what I CAN remember, I don't ever recall wanting to do that now."
My past self then said, "Was it Knight? Was it? Are you positive that is what you wanted to do...was to escape Earth and end up like everyone else? But then again...who knows anymore really...so much has changed. Think about it Knight...you were once a normal, human being, a teen in a world just like everyone else. Then all of a sudden you got that chance to go into that cave that one night and now you've done so much and are so old with immortality to live forever and ever and never age past the age of 21. And now...you've forgotten your old self, that dumb kid that you once were.
'Amazing isn't it? I'm your past...slowly fading away into the sea of darkness and eventually there will remain very little of your past. Face it...you've created another life for yourself Knight and almost completely wiped the previous one behind from your memory, from your mind and soul. I am all of what remains of your old self Knight...and day by day, year by year, minute by minute, second by second, I grow weaker and more tired than the last. And that is because I'm slowly decaying away. Never mind...you just wouldn't understand. I just guess I felt like this was my only chance to talk to you tonight and all...and that...never mind Knight. Just remember this when you wake up Knight...this may have been a dream...this may not have been a dream. That I was maybe a dream or not. And that, you act like an immature kid sometimes for a reason. Goodbye..."
And then I was transported to another dream. This time being a little farm house somewhere in Equestria. It was all still a dream, I assure you all, but this was so real that it felt like reality. But it wasn't and it was just a dream. And so I looked around and the farm was all in a nice condition. It was all nice and everything was good.
Everything was calm and relaxing. And then I looked around and saw a pony, a stallion for that matter, on the ground and it looked like he was eating something. So I slowly walked up to the pony that was eating something and when I got up to him, he noticed my presence as he turned around. And as he did, I saw what he was eating, he was eating Luna's Legs and Luna's dead corpse was right there in front of him...legless. It was if she had lost them in rice paddies during Viet fucking nam. Anyways, the ponies had his mouth filled with legs and he was chewing his food. He looked retarded as his eyes were crossed and had a brown coat color.
After he finished chewing and swallowing his food, he then said, "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii."
I then said to him, "Hi...I guess."
He then said back to me, "My name is Joooooooooooooooooohn."
I then said back to him, "Nice to meet you...John...I guess."
John then asked me, "Would you like to eat the legs of Luna and Tom Hanks with me?"
I then said to him, "Uhhh...no..."
John then said as he furiously got up and picked up a toaster from out of nowhere and as he jumped in mid air, "THEN GET OUT OF MY DREAM!!!"
And right before he was able to smash me over the head with his toaster, I was transported to a nice, snowy place. It was all at night, with the moon high in the sky and stars twinkling in the background at the same time. The place also looked calming and very nice.
And then suddenly Luna came out of nowhere and I then said, "So...another dream I suppose."
Luna then said to me, "Not a dream Knight. I am very real."
I then said, "Oh yeah...I completely forgot that you can walk into other dreams...my bad."
Luna then said to me, "That is fine Knight. You don't get to see me very often anyways, especially in dreams. Although oddly enough I haven't been able to enter your dreams ever sense you left for Stalia. Would you happen to know why that is by any chance?"
I then said, "How would I know...I'm not the princess of the night."
Luna then looked a little disappointed by my answer and she then said to me, "Yes, that is....very true. Other than that, this is the first time I've been able to enter your dreams in such a long time so I thought I come and visit. Mostly because I can feel that you're a bit nervous and stressed right now. Is there anything bothering you Knight?"
I then said, although I was lying as I was trying to keep a straight face, "Nope...everything is perfectly fine. I am in my home, right now, getting some rest so I can learn some friendship lessons tomorrow...or whenever. Just like what Princess Celestia told me to do. Nothing is bothering me at all."
Luna then said, "That is good, but do remember that if you have any problems at all, you should either contact me or my sister. We can be very helpful you know. You are my sister's personal student after all."
I then said to Luna, "Yup...I sure will...keep that in mind. Now I suppose you have to go off and see it to other pony's are getting their good dreams?"
I said those last words with a smile on my face, a smile that was trying to keep it all straight and try not to show that I was lying to her in any way, shape or form.
Luna then said with a smile, "Yes...well...take care Knight...and have pleasant dreams as well."
And then Luna opened up a portal to the dream realm and left me in the snowy area.
I then said to myself with the smile long gone, "Oh Jesus H Fucking Christ, I forgot about those friendship letters. I mean when was the last time I even wrote one to Celestia? I hope I don't get in trouble...then again in that one episode, Celestia did mention that she didn't expect one every week....then again how long as it been since the last time I even sent one? Was it...like...last month or something? I don't even remember. All I remember the last time I said anything to her was with that Swarm of AIDs that came to Stalia that one time. and what did Luna mean by not being enter my dreams? Best guess: The Universe."
And then everything turned to a pure white.
And then...my dream ended...well not really. Before it ended everything disappeared and soon I saw a dream of a cat licking a giant can of whip cream while a giant metal sheep in the sky farted pop tarts into monkey's mouths while a polar bear fucking a rainbow dash and a dog made love to a fire hydrant.
And then everything turned into what seemed like a happy place filled with green grass and sunshine smiling down as a flying truck filled with Muslims..I'm sorry the Political correct term is Sand People or Sand Niggers...flying through the sky fucking Jews while singing, "Bitch and Tits" and a giant moose rode through the heavens while shooting a bunch of people.
Then Neon came out of nowhere and he said, "Hey Knight...didn't think you would be in my dream tonight! This is so awesome!"
Then Neon, as he was right next to me, took a huge dump in front of me and had three baby chickens. All as he was smiling in a creepy way.
I then looked at him weird and asked, "Uhh...why am I in your dream?"
Neon then said, "Don't be silly wily Knight...we're sharing a dream...and it looks like we're going to have a real fun time too...so.....you want fuck a printer?"
I then gave him a stale look and said, "I'm leaving now."
As I was walking away from Neon, he then said to me, "Well see you when you get back then! Try not to let TF kill you! Wouldn't want him to spoil all the fun!"
I then stopped in my tracks within the dream world and turned back around to return to Neon as his comment made me surprised as he knew where I was at during that time.
I then asked him, "How do you know that TF is trying to kill me? In fact, why aren't you trying to get help and save me?"
Neon then said, "Trust me...I have my sources...and it isn't the Illegal Mexicans this time. And as for not getting help...I already did! I got some shrooms on the way to help you! Goodbye."
Neon then said all of that with a smile, and after he had talked to me, I was then set on fire. I didn't feel pain, but yet...it didn't feel right and I was on the ground, yelling, screaming for the fire to go out. Then I woke up the next morning. It was a weird dream I had to say.
I mean, Neon was weird, but I had never thought he would get into my nightmares. I mean my nightmares were already worse with stuff that I try to repress from my memories every day…like who I was back on Earth and my real name. Although as a matter of fact while I’m thinking about the topic of repressing memories that isn’t about being molested as a child at a Chuck E. Cheese fifty times in a week…because I’m sure someone had that happened to them at some point, I feel like I can’t remember something as I’m writing this.
I feel like I can remember something from long, long ago, when there was nothing. When there was nothing but me and my mind. But then it gets a little fuzzy as someone else is there, someone else is with me, I can’t remember it, but I’m sure it’s nothing at all. I’m sure you won’t even care about it at all because…why would I remember what I just said. I Mean, it’s not like you’re conscious about your own memories and that your very existence is an entire lie based on yourself questioning your existence and that every memory that you have is a false memory and you have been living an entire lie your whole life.
Anyways, I woke up in my small bed. When my eyes finally came into focus and after I gave a good yawn, I noticed that the bed was somewhat closer towards the ground. I more than likely never noticed this little detail considering how tired I was, but I also had noticed that I wasn’t covered with any blanket at all. I mean it was kind of cold outside and so it striked me odd that I wasn’t cold as I had felt ok.
Although that did remind me of the times when I first met TK in person and that I had asked him to train me. I recall he wanted me to try and survive the cold and by building a fire and trying several ways to keep warm. I never went through with that kind of training with him because, long story short, I was having enough trouble with using a normal hand gun. Granted I had gotten better over time, but still, a different story for another time. So, I went ahead and got up, and once I did, I looked down and saw my stomach. Nothing happened to it but a familiar sound did come from it as it rumbled with hunger.
Of course this only meant one thing and to quote a slightly famous person: “I’M A MACHINE!!!” ~Ghost from True Capitalist Radio.
In other words I needed “fuel” to keep myself going.
So I got out of the bed and walked towards the entrance of the tent as I was about to leave, Axe came what seemed from out of nowhere from my perspective and he said, “Good morning!”
He had said with a little smile as well. He then continued to say to me, “So…I’m guessing you feel better now?”
I then responded with, “Yeah, I guess so. So…what’s for breakfast this morning?”
Axe then said, “You’ll see, although we don’t have much. Follow me…the Boss wants a word with ya.”
I then stayed silent and followed him. Once I exited the tent, my face was welcomed with a bright morning sun. Granted I couldn’t feel the warmth of the sun, as the area that I was currently in was filled with cold air and snow and I didn’t have a jacket on and only my satchel and black cowboy hat was on as usual. However the sun was bright enough for me to see everything around me and as I was walking with Axe, I could see ponies hard at work with whatever they were doing.
Some were getting ready for the day while others were already working for a few hours as they had woken up at the crack of dawn. I did feel a little out of place since I was only a guest amongst everyone else as they worked. However, it was what it was. It didn’t take much longer as we got from point A to point B in a matter of a minute as our destination was only another tent, but only bigger than the one that I had slept in.
So I then walked into the tent as Axe had opened it for me and what I saw was a big wooden table with a lot of junk on it along with a map. At the far end of the table was what I had assumed was the boss of operations in the area.
When I came through the entrance, the boss looked up at me with a small smile with some side burns across his face and he said to me, “So…you must be our mysterious visitor that we had last night.”
I then said to him, “Yup…that’s me...Knight…so what’s for breakfast? Just…please don’t let it be muffins…not like last time.”
Yup…those poor…poor….poor muffins that got shoved up Derpy’s asshole. Now that’s a memory that I want to repress. Every time I close my eyes and my ass…that image is always there…haunting me where ever I go. Anyway, the boss started to walk around the table to come and give me a handshake…hoofshake…whatever…and I got a better look at him.
He had a bit of a tan color for his coat, short tail that was grey as he had also looked like in his mid fifties. He had some sideburns, but no mustache, but had a rough beard across his face. He was also wearing a grey sweater and a grey beanie hat that went over his head.
Aside from that, he was a little taller than I was, as for some reason I was as tall as twilight was and the Boss looked like he could throw a few punches if he had to, but considering his age, he would be hurting himself if he had tried so there would be limitations. Also, the boss was an Earth pony.
Well, the boss came over and shook my hoof and he said, “Yes, Axe told me about your name. He also mentioned you had no cutie mark…but that’s alright...we don’t judge here. We’re a friendly group so no need to fear us. Granted if something was to try and hurt us, we’ll put up a good fight just to let you now. But enough of that, I’m sure you’re hungry Knight. However we’re limited in the supplies we could carry so for Breakfast today we only have coffee and some grits…would you like any?”
I then thought for a bit and remembered I didn’t like grits…but as long as the coffee wasn’t black like a black guy robbing another black guy while raping another black guy with a black stick on a black dick, I was fine with coffee.
I then said to the Boss, “Coffee is fine.”
The Boss then said, “Axe, fetch our gust a cup of nice coffee will you please along with a cup for me while you’re at it.”
Axe then sad, “Right away Boss.”
Axe then left the tent and all that was left in the tent was me, the Boss, and another pony that I didn’t mention because...I don’t know…but in the wise words from a complete lunatic: “You’re going to sit there and take it!” ~Ghost from True Capitalist Radio.
Anyways, I then looked at the Boss and he still had a small smile on his face and he then said, “Oh yes, around here everypony calls me Boss as I run this little business around here. However you can just call me by my real name, Fighting Boss. I know, the name is a little weird, but so was my family. You see Knight, this operation I have here is ran by other ponies from around the world, they don’t just come from Equestria. I rounded most of these ponies up because they knew what hard work was and not only to mention my family came from another country to Equestria.
'They were very poor when they came to Equestria and wanted to start a new life, but times were tough, but we kept strong. So I grew fondly of this land of Equestria but also felt bad for those that came from other lands to try and make a living. So I made a vow to try and hire those that were foreign as I was, and I’ve been proudly doing so for the past twenty one years or so. As for my family…well…they were a bit crazy with their traditions, that’s why I have that weird name, so at least we have something in common. You have a one word name and I have two weird word names. Oh..right…I forgot to introduce you to my adopted son over here, Spirit Wings.”
Fighting pointed me to the other pony that I had not mentioned before. He was a pony with a dark red coat color and a black colored mane and tail. He also had a little Indian blanket over him and looked like he didn’t socialize much.
I sat there and wondered in my head, ‘I wonder how he would taste if he was put in the oven for Three Hundred and Fifty degrees for forty five minutes with some olive oil and vinegar shoved up his ass…because I’m strangely hungry for Indian food.’
Well let’s put it like this: if the Europeans are going to slaughter the Indians and take their land, they might as well eat the remains…am I right? No? Well I’m sure the Indians are fine either way….because the great spirit wolf will guide them through the turtle’s neck to the afterlife that is guarded by a guy named Zeus who gets a stick shoved up his rectum from Mondays through Thursdays.
That’s a Native American myth, right? Yeah I’m pretty sure that is part of their religion cult…where they sacrifice the Jews for a good harvest of buffalos.
Anyways, Fighting then said to me after he had introduced me to his adopted son, “I apologize if my son comes off a bit weird. You see years back I found him abandoned in the wilderness and was just left there, so I took him in and raised him as one of my own. I mean don’t get me wrong, I tried looking for his parents, but as far as I can tell, this poor kid was left to die on his own. So I raised him and while he doesn’t talk much, he helps out around every now and then and I try to at least get him started in life. He’s almost at that age you know when you're young, need to grow up and leave the house. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, right?”
I then responded to it after thinking about eating the Indian for a moment, “Yup, sure do. I know what you mean. I had to leave the nest.”
Fighting then said back, “Well, I’m sure you'll know it from a parents perspective one day. I mean, assuming you don’t have any children that is? I mean you look a little young and all and…”
I then cut him off and said, “No, no I don’t. I’m only…Twenty One…so…kind of…don’t care right now.”
Fighting then said, “Well you did look like Twenty One to me, although for some weird reason I feel like you’re a bit older, but we can talk about age some other time. So, let’s get down to business. Where you headed?”
Fighting had asked with a bit of enthusiasm in his voice.
Then said to him, “Well, I’m a little lost to tell you the truth. I’m just trying to find my way back home.”
Fighting then said as he was looking at a map in front of him that was on the table, “Well maybe I can help you out with that. Where do you live?”
I then said, “A little small town that I’m sure you never heard of before, Stalia. Although if you can point me in the right direction for Ponyville, that’ll be just fine.”
Fighting then said, “Ponyville…yes I’m familiar with that town. I’ve even visited there a few times. Granted though that was about twenty years ago, so I have no idea how it is nowadays. It has gotten quite famous with the Elements of Harmony and the newest princess of Equestria in the past ten years hasn’t it? Well I can help you out, don’t worry. Just give me a moment to find it on my map.”
Fighting then went to concentrate on looking at the map and I was pretty much left there to think about whatever I wanted to think about. That or stare at Sprit Wings in pure silence as he was staring back at me in absolute silence as well.
And then it started to get kind of awkward so I looked towards another direction, that direction being the junk that was all over the table. All I saw was a bunch of papers and documents that had words written on them about stuff I didn’t care about. Some of it had to do with permits and others with schedules, it was the boring, business side of words. Those kind of words that bores a lot of people to death as it uses complex words and technical language that just ends up being another kind of language to the average Joe.
It was those kind of words that after you read them, you just wanted to put a double barreled loaded shotgun in your mouth due to how depressing the wording is and realizing that the world that you’re living in is filled with such depressing and boring words and you just kind of want to end it all to just get rid of the pain.
So I just kind of went around I my own thoughts and thought about stuff. And for once, I won’t even mention what I had thought about during that time because it wasn’t embarrassing or anything like that. Nope, the thoughts I was thinking of was the lyrics to She Drives Me Crazy. Well…she does drive me crazy, so all you have to do is grab a gun and shoot the bitch. Then she wouldn’t drive you crazy no more.
Anyways, while I was singing the little tune in my head for no reason at all, Axe came back with the two cups of coffee. He had carried the two cups with his magic that ejaculated from his horn. It had a white glow to it all and Axe gave me some hot coffee and gave Fighting his hot coffee as well. Took it with my magic and boy did it feel hot just by being near that hot coffee. It was as if it could melt my face off...wait a minute.
Never mind, I got my coffee, it was hot, and I took a look at my coffee. It wasn’t anything that you would get from StarCucks, but it was tolerable. All the coffee was simple and straight forward. Bland, but good enough to get yourself awake in the morning.
But if you were going to pull off an all nighter, you would have a lot of energy drinks instead so a really fat Asian kid can be right next to you and stare deeply into your ever burning soul and sell it to the devil for a buck fifty. Or sell your soul for a free McDonald’s coffee….because a human’s soul is definitely worth a cheap cup of coffee. Anyways, I was having my cup of coffee and Fighting was having his.
As Fighting was looking at the map, I was all by myself in thought. In other words, I had a lot of time to think and reflect on the past of my life. Like, what I didn’t do back on Earth. I mean I did leave earth without having the chance to do a lot of things, but in the end I just ended up thinking of another classic song, this time being Higher Love.
By now, my mind is a jukebox that the Fonze from Happy Days would rape…just because he loves Jukeboxes so much. That and he loved Jews Boxes as well…boxes that dispensed Jews…if Hitler was alive…he would have raped that too…. Aside from that, I still got to think of whatever I wanted to do while Fighting was looking up how to get me back to Ponyville.
Well, the moment of silence didn’t last too long because Fighting said out loud to himself, “I’ve found it!”
I then looked at him while still holding coffee with my magic and said to him, “Found a quick and fast route for me to get to Ponyville?”
Fighting then said, “No..I just found the town is all. Come over here, I’ll tell you the way to get to town.”
So I calmly walked over to Fighting and passing behind Spirit Wings as I was walking.
When I went over to Fighting, he had then put his hoof on the spot where Ponyville was and said to me, “That right there is Ponyville.”
Then he proceeds to move his hoof upwards on the map for about a few good inches or so.
He then said to me, “And we’re right over here in this area.”
What he was pointing at on the map was a white region, a snowy and mountainous region to be more specific. And from what I could tell by looking at the map, I was very far up North. As in, I was closer to the Crystal Empire then I was to Ponyville.
So I didn’t know my way around in Equestria and ended up in a tight spot…or in an area with a bunch of rocky mountains to be specific. Well, it was going to be a long journey at the time of looking at the map, but I was sure I would be able to make the trip. I mean with all of the training I had gotten from TK, or at least bare minimum of training that is, I would be able to get back to my home.
I then said to Fighting, “I see…and how do you propose I get back to Ponyville, as quick as I can perhaps?”
Fighting the said, “Well…give me a minute because some routes are quite dangerous but, let me think for a moment. Maybe see if you can’t make conversation with my son while you’re waiting.”
I then turned my head towards his son and thought to myself, ‘Oh boy…I get to talk to a red skin. I wonder if he tastes like chicken. But in all seriousness…..fuck…I think this is going to go south real quick if I try and talk to him,’
So I went away from Fighting and got closer to Spirit Wings, which was that far away from his adoptive father. So when I got close enough, or at least to the point where he was looking at me, and staring right into my eyes, I sat my ass on the ground and was silent for a bit. I sat there and waited to see if he would talk first. He didn’t say a single word, as I was looking around, awkwardly awaiting for one of us to speak first.
Nothing came out of it and it got to the point where I just put on a fake smile. Then there was still silence even though I was looking and waiting for Spirit to talk to me about anything…whether it was killing the white man or selling their land for a buck fifty and a blow job for a prostitute that had herpes. However, he still remained silent...silent like the wind.
As the natives called it...wind...and so we continued to sit there in silence, not saying a single word. While Fighting was still looking at the map, we were sitting in awkwardness. I still had my fake smile on and I thought if Spirit wasn't going to break the silence, I was, so I said to him, "So...uhh.....you're adopted...huh?
That's cool...I guess....kind of...sucks losing your original parents like that and shit... so uhh....how's life been treating you so far?" Spirit didn't say anything, he only stared at me as if I was an insane mental patient or something.
I then said, "Yeah...not too good huh? Well uhh....since I'm waiting, might as well talk about something. So I got to ask? Did you trade your land for a buck fifty...sorry...thinking of something else. I'm not going to lie...this conversation really sucks....and you suck right now. Kind of wonder why you're still around you know? I mean if you're not going to talk...why not go outside and talk to the spirits and shit? I'm sure they'll give you something to talk about...like AIDS.....I'm sorry...you're just...not talking..at all...you're just staring at me. It's creepy...that you're just...staring at me. I mean maybe if you talked...maybe we wouldn't have a problem here...but you're not. Look, clearly you're busy, and a real asshole too just from the looks of it so I'm just going to go over here...behind your adoptive father and just start touching stuff with my hooves because you're boring as shit right now."
As I was about to turn around and start to touch everything I saw with my hooves, Spirit Wings started to talk.
He said, to me, "Where do you come from?"
I then turned my head and looked at him with surprised eyes that were in shock and I said, "Holy fuck...you can talk. It's like...watching a black guy in his natural habitat....like a nature documentary...it's such a rare and precious moment to see your kind talk. And to answer your question...it's Stalia kid...Stalia is where I come from."
He then said to me, "No...where do you really come from? You don't act like the other ponies."
I then thought in my head, 'Wait a second...is he catching on to me...that I'm from Earth. That I'm really not a pony? Then again, I wouldn't know how a pony naturally talks and walks too much. I mean...I suppose being an outsider would make me have the lack of knowledge of how these ponies act...but then again I spent how many years here in this universe so far? Like...fucking 7 years and I still haven't blended in yet? Then again all I do is either smoke weed and fuck around a lot. I don't do much else aside from those two things. But then again, all he assumes is that I'm not acting like the other ponies, so he can't suspect that I'm from another universe. Hell, that idea would be farfetched for most ponies here with the exception from those that wear tin foil hats every day...like a guy named Ghost.
'They believe anything that you feed them...especially if you tell them you are putting stuff in the water for the frog to turn gay. Well...it can't hurt to tell him a lie...it's not like I've been telling lies before...I'm just bad at them. I mean...who knows...one of these days those lies are going to catch up to me eventually. It may put me in danger for telling Celestia and Twilight that night who I was and where I'm from. It may put me in danger that Neon already knows who I am. It maybe put me in danger on this very day for telling this red guy who I am because the great turtle spirit will come after me somehow....that's a thing that these red people believe in...right? I-I think so....the great turtle spirit of the Earth and what not. Alright then, I suppose I should come up with a lie that's half convincing at least.'
So I stared at Sprit Wings right in the eyes with confidence and told him, "Well...you caught me. I don't come from Stalia, although I do live there that is the truth as I told your father over there. However, as for my origins...Spirit, I'm not really sure where I come from. All I remember is that it's far, far away from Equestria and I'm miles from home. I'm so far from home that I forgotten about it already. But deep within my own heart, I feel as if that home isn't necessarily my own home, but more or less was a prison for my very soul. What happened in my past, I am not sure, but one thing I know for sure though Spirit...I didn't take your land, some Zebras stole it. Does that answer your question Spirit Wings?"
After I said that...Spirit just looked at me for a while. He didn't show any expressions across his face, nor did he move an inch. He just stared at me and gave me a look that said...well I'm not really sure what this look was. It was that kind of look that you got when you took the reaction of a black guy that he just found out that KFC stopped selling Fried Chicken on Thursdays and a dirty Jew finding out he's Muslim and then sort of having those two looks bang each other. Then after those two looks bang the fuck out of each other, they end up having triplets and finding out one of the babies got AIDs.
So they end up having to pay a shit load of money for medication and shit and one day the baby died and the father ends up committing suicide while the mother just ends raping one of the children while slowly cutting the throat of the other child.
Then that mother takes a gun and says, 'GO FUCK YOURSELVES KIDS!'
and blows her own brains out and the remaining child just starves to death in a house in Detroit. It's that kind of look that you would get, a mix of that somehow. Well, he just sat there and we were in complete silence again. However, from the looks of it from my point of view, he didn't look upset or anything on the line like that, so I just assumed my lie was convincing enough for him to believe. Sure it was possible a pretty bad lie that lead to no answer, but hey, if it worked why not use it?
So I turned around and was going to go back to Fighting to see if he had found anything on the route for me go back home in peace, when suddenly, he said one word in response to my lie.
He said, "Yes", as I was walking away from him.
I stopped in my tracks and looked back towards him as I was a bit put off by what he had said. I mean it was good to know he believed my lie, but at the same time with all of the silence that was in between my words and his words along with how he said the word, it kind of made me think. Perhaps, that word that he had said had some sort of...deeper meaning.
Think about, he barely knows me and all of a sudden he knows something about me is off. He asked me where I was from, told him I came from Stalia, but then knew I wasn't acting like the other ponies that he knew of. So he just waits for me to give him an answer and I gave him one.
Perhaps..he knew I lied to him but yet was willing enough to believe, just the same amount of will to believe in the spirits in a religion. As if..he responded to his answer in belief to the gods and how every word that he says brings a greater meaning to everything.
Yes, that's what happened, that's what he had meant...or I'm just fucking with you all and Spirit Wings just said the word yes. I mean you either try and look deep into things and it's unnecessary or you just go with the flow. I mean...whatever floats your boat and all.
Anyways, after I had looked at him for a bit, I then turned back and went back to fighting with knowing that in mind we had a short, but awfully terrible conversation with each other. Anyways, I went back to Fighting to check up on if he had a good suggestion on how get back home since I was assuming he was the expert traveling around Equestria.
So I asked Fighting as I went by his side to look at the map, "So...got an idea to point me in the right direction yet?"
Fighting then said, "Well, I would have a suggestion when there isn't much snow around because this time of year the safest path is too dangerous. But if you had came to me during the spring time I would have answer for you in a minute or two."
I then asked him, "So you're basically telling me I'm fucked and I am with no way back home, or at least safely?"
Fighting then said to me, "I'm afraid there is no other option but to travel a dangerous path."
I then sat there, gave a little sigh, and thought for a moment.
After a few seconds of thinking I then asked Fighting again, "Well...I've been through some tough situations...what is the worse could I encounter on my path?"
Fighting then said, "Well, let's see...there's the wild animals that try and kill you, the furious winter cold, the lack of any fresh water or food within the area, and a whole bunch of other hazards I'm sure you wouldn't want to go through. Although to come to think of it, I recall there being an alternate route...it's not too safe, but you won't have to face the dangers of being eaten alive by animals though...but the trade off is that it's a bit hard to get around. You might just end up walking in circles and never finding your way out at all."
I then said to him, "Fuck it, I've been through worse. Just show me the way and I'll be off and on my way back home."
Fighting then said to me, "Well, alrighty then...it's your funereal. Now...let me see..."
Fighting was then cut off by two arguing voices in the distances that were unfamiliar to my ears. Two voices that were unknown to me and that belonged to two new ponies that I was about to meet. As the arguing got closer and closer, Fighting, Spirit, and I all had our attention directed towards the two ponies arguing in the distance that was coming towards the tent.
Soon two ponies walked through the entrance of the tent and they were somewhat angry at each other. Well, one was angry while the other was just slightly annoyed. They were both male of course...just to be clear. And don't worry...it may sounds like I was in a sausage party most of the time...but every now and then I saw and talked to some ponies that had three holes or more...if you catch my drift that is.
Anyways, the angry one had an all black mane and tail and it was very rough looking. As in it looked like he was always working outside and always got dirty. He also had a somewhat of a thick, but not a too thick of a beard. Like between a 5 o' clock shadow and a full on beard.
He also looked like he was somewhere in his mid thirties and lived all alone by himself and most of the time did not want to be bothered by anyone at all whatsoever. He was also a Pegasus with a rock for a cutie mark. He also wore a black thin coat, more than likely to keep warm while out in the cold snow every day, but that coat also looked flexible enough for him to fight in it if he had to be more specific. He also had a light grey coat color as well. As for the annoyed one, he looked like a wimp and a loser that would be still living in mommy's basement if he didn't happen to have a father that took him to the woodshed every now and then during his childhood.
He still looked like a loser though. Anyways, he also wore a pair of glasses, wore a white coat like a scientist would wear one. He had a straight brown mane pushed back and his tail was short. His coat color was also a golden tan kind of color, and his cutie mark was of a picture of a few test tubes with some chemicals in them. His race was of that of a unicorn...like me. So my guess as far as stereotypes goes in Equestria: Unicorns are the smart/Asian ones, Earth Ponies are the tough/Black ones, while the Pegasi are the weird ones/Europeans of the pony races.
And as for Alicorns...they're basically the white guys that get all the cool shit. Anyways, the two ponies continued to argue even though they were right in front of Fighting. So Fighting had his mouth a little opened and confused as to what was going on.
At first, Fighting said, "Alright guys....please be quiet ....Guys....QUIET!!!"
The two ponies eventually kept their mouths closed and both looked at their boss.
Soon Fighting then said to the both of them, "Now...tell me what's the problem here?"
The angry one went first, obviously since he was a little more aggressive than the other one, "I've got your problem right here....this fucking prick keeps getting in my way while I'm trying to do my fucking work!"
Then the annoyed one butted in and said, "I'm not the one that you call a prick. I'm only try to do my job and..."
The angry one then cut off the annoyed one and said to him, "Oh just shut the fuck up already you fucking prick. That's what you are and you've been a pain in my neck ever since you got here and..."
Fighting then said, "QUIET!!!...The both of you stay quiet unless you are spoken too...got it? Now...Rock Metal, explain your side of the story...and this time don't bullshit me like the last time."
Rock then looked a bit annoyed by Fighting's comment and he then said, "I wasn't even lying to you that time! That wasn't even my fault and..."
Fighting stopped him and told him, "Shut up! Just tell me what happened and I'm sure this can be resolved peacefully. We can't be arguing with each other every day now and all the time...or else we wouldn't get any work done around here. We would get nowhere as a team. So I suggest you both stop your bickering and tell me what happened out there. So I'll ask you again Rock...explain to me what happened."
And if you couldn't tell by now, Rock is the angry one....just saying to let the retards out there know just in case...they're special.
Anyways, Rock explained himself with, "Look, I'm just out there by the river, trying to do my job. I'm working as hard as usual and doing what you told me to do. Now you know I'm a hard worker and I wouldn't dare try to do anything else. I do what I am told...most of the time...but as I said...I was doing my work out there by the river. But this PRICK right next to me kept getting in my way while I was trying to fulfill my duty."
Fighting remained quiet, looking sternly at Rock. He took a few seconds to let all of that information sink into his head.
Then he turned towards the annoyed one and said, "Now Fizzy Ground...what is your side of the story?"
Fizzy, the other one, then said, "Well, I was also trying to do my job. For me I have to collect samples from the river and test them in an our as well. I have to make sure everything is in check or else."
Rock then stared at Fizzy and then looked back towards Fighting and asked him while pointing towards Fizzy with his left hoof, "Why is this prick even here Boss?"
Fighting then said, "He's from Cantorlot sent by Celestia herself. Basically saying he's here just to make sure we don't do anything stupid while being out here because some of the elites at Cantorlot think we're doing some damage while being out here. Thankfully we're doing just fine...aren't we Fizzy?"
Fizzy then responded with, "Yes you are sir. So far I have not found a single thing out of line, but I still need to do more work by the river."
Rock then said, "No you not you prick....you're going to stay far, far from that river unless I'm not there...you fucking hear me you mother fucker?"
The two ponies went back to arguing with each other and as they did, Fighting looked towards me and he said calmly, "I'm sorry about this Knight. This might take a while. I would help you out now, but I've got to take care of this first for the sake of my business."
I then said, "Take all the time you need...I've wasted enough time in my life to know that it doesn't matter anymore."
Fighting then said to me, "Thank you for understanding."
Fighting then looked back to the two arguing ponies with a bit more annoyance in his voice, as in he wasn't in a good mood and said, "SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!"
Rock and Fizzy went silent and didn't say a single word, but instead their eyes were placed on Fighting. Fighting then said to the both of them, "We're not going to leave this tent until we resolve this issue...you hear me!? Now we all have work to do, but I'm fine with spending my time in here in this very spot all day if we have to in order to solve our little problem here. But you guys can't because that means you both have a lot of catch up to do tomorrow...so I suggest you both get your act together and solve this problem. Now...do you think we can do that?"
Rock then said, "Well...yes...yes we can........only if this prick here says he's sorry and GETS THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Then Rock and Fizzy both went back to bickering with each other while Fighting only hanged his head in shame and gave a slight sigh to himself and said out loud, "This is going to be a long day."
LATER THAT AFTERNOON...
Back to TF and his group...
Alrighty then….back to TF’s group then I see. But then again this part of my life was a bit complicated…I mean hell, for a moment, I had only remembered that I only went on a weird adventure with Neon on Earth for a bit, but I suppose over time I slowly tried to suppress it, but what are you going to do I suppose?
Anyways, it was later that afternoon, that special time where you start to see the sun go down. It’s also that special time when you realize and ask yourself an important question: What the fuck are you doing with your life? I mean as that sun sets, you start to think about life and all that you have accomplished in the past and what you did that entire day…then you start to think for a bit of how much time you have wasted along with how much little of life you have left to live for.
Then you realize that maybe nagging your girlfriend wasn’t such a good idea because it got her pregnant and she was a Christian so abortion was non-existent to her and you had to pay for child support. Then you start to wonder what would have happened if you did blow your brains out with a double barreled shotgun when you had that chance before your baby was born, you had it all there and you were going to make it look like a black guy did it. You already got the evidence from the random back guy across the street, you even paid another black cop to look the other way.
You had it all set…but you were too much of a god damn pussy to go through with it. So as that evening sun is setting in the distance, you’ll be thinking about when you’re on your death bed, you’re going to be wanting to hang yourself while jacking off and calling yourself Batman for 10 hours straight because why the hell not?
All while of course a couple of illegal Mexicans that you hired from your local Taco Bell to choke you in the shower as you would be hanging yourself in the shower. Yup…that kind of sun set. It also had an orange glow to it too I guess…if you wanted to know how it was. I mean…Celestia’s sun was just setting. Although I did wonder though at the time…ad still do…where the fuck does the sun and moon go since the sun technically just stays in one spot along with the moon? I never got that when I watched the show or when I was even living in Equestria. It never made sense to me is all. It possibly just goes out into space along with the Star Wars title crawls and just have one big fucking party all night and day.
Oh well, I’ll possibly die one day without evening knowing it…or how the show Lost ended. Anyways, as the sun was setting in the far distance, the workers were gathering all of their stuff up and was in one consecutive area…for the most part as some were scattered, but not too far from each other though. They were just right for the picking for the cannibals. In which case, the cannibals were right there on top of the nearby hill that I ran down on after TF and the others chased me. All the cannibals were right there, lined up like an army along with TF and the leader of the cannibal group in front, as if they were some sort of generals in a war.
The leader was behind TF and was awaiting his signal to attack, while TF himself was standing tall and manically over the hill, overlooking the entire campsite. You could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t fucking around. This might have been Equestria, a land filled with happy ponies with sunshine and farts, but he ain’t no friendly, happy pony though. He was a pony that was going to kick your ass and make your life a living hell, but then again he was also human since I did create him and all.
However as for the others, they were hanging back, as TF had told them not to interfere and let the cannibals do all the work…except for Snow, he was right next to TF, lying on the ground with his sniper out and aiming at the camp site. As for any noises, there were none, everyone there was silent. However, soon that silence was broken up by TF and Snow and they decided to start a little noise and have a conversation.
Snow said, “Exactly why am I here again TF?”
TF then responded to Snow, "Because Snow...the plan is simple...the cannibals will attack the campsite. Once the chaos starts, those ponies down there will be scrambling around, trying to fend for themselves or for others. That or they may try to seek shelter or find a way to escape their inevitable death that is to come to them as they are being eaten alive and killed in a gruesome, disgusting, vial ways that is beyond the imagination of what one pony can come up with. However, with Knight, he will be able to survive, or at least his chances of survival are good that is.
'There is a chance that he could be caught off guard and be eaten alive like the others, which would be a pity and would ruin this entire trip that I had planned for all of us. Not only that, I won't be able to kill him myself. Not only that, but it wouldn't feel right. I wouldn’t be able t sleep at night without knowing what could have been if I had killed myself instead of some dirty, impolite cannibals. Besides, I have without a doubt a feeling that he will survive the attack. However, he won't be able to fight all of them off, so more than likely he would try and escape…so either A, he will be running towards in our direction, in which case make sure to wound him and let me take care of the rest. The other cannibals already know to leave him alone...well...most that is...that's why the chances of him being eaten alive exist."
Snow then asked TF, "What about the second option?"
TF then said to Snow, "I was getting to that Snow. Option B for Knight would be to jump over that waterfall over there, which would be suicide and his chances of survival wouldn't be in his favor. So just be ready to wound him in any of the legs once he comes in our direction."
Snow then said to TF, "I'm sorry to say this but...it sounds like this plan is a little more dark than I anticipated, even for a pony like me. And I eat my enemies for breakfast, along with having a cold heart...but not that much of a cold heart."
TF then stared silent at Snow and there was nothing but the sounds of the wind nearby between the two.
However, TF then spoke up and said to Snow, "You should stop with that kind of thinking Snow if you are ever to survive in this world and start thinking differently and seeing things from a new perspective. The times are going to change Snow...the times are going to change."
Then there was more silence between the two for a few more seconds until TF broke the ice once more. "If you're left behind, you'll die...that's why it's best to keep moving forward with the pack, for if you stop moving, you'll die one day, and you'll regret it too,"
TF said in a determined tone. Snow then said, "Trust me...I know, that’s what is taught to me in my country...it's just that it seems a bit too extreme for an average pony to set up this whole plan of having cannibals eat other innocent ponies alive is all. I'm tough and all and can handle what I will see down there, but only the criminally insane would think of such a thing to do in their actions."
TF then slowly turned his head towards Snow and he then told him, "I'm not your average pony Snow. Oh no...I am not at all. I'm that kind of special pony that just wants a to see this world burn and crumble. I'm that kind of pony that lives with insanity as it's the only thing that I have left to hang on to. I'm that kind of pony that nations would fear. I'm that kind of pony that parents become afraid of, they're fear for their children’s lives just by being near me and I suddenly become the Boogeyman for their children. I'm that kind of pony that has the determination to see everyone here die. I'm that kind of pony that is some kind of bad guy in the eyes of the law, but really I'm not a bad guy...I'm just a pony that just wants to have the entire world underneath my hooves, not in dictatorship, but to see it turn to ashes and be the one on top of all the dead bodies. To be the one that sits on all the burning corpses with a gun in my hooves, just to show that I'm the king of the hill here; I'm the one that will end up being still alive. But I'm a also that kind of pony that has a reason for all of this...and that reason is because I'm just sick of my plans failing time and time after again. In a way...I'm that kind of pony that wants to kill God."
Snow heard everything that TF had to say. To him, it was a bit weird to hear a pony like that say something about wanting to kill god. I mean, who in their right mind would want to do such a thing, let alone having the concept exist. However, at the same time, it felt like nothing new to Snow as it caught him off guard, but yet didn't move his emotions whatsoever. Instead, all it did was made him think for a bit about a pony wanting to kill god. Or any being for that matter wanting to kill god. The idea of wanting to kill god is such a bizarre idea in a way, but yet nothing new.
Anyways, Snow shrugged it off and tried to carry on the conversation and so Snow asked TF, "Another Question: Why do we have to do this? Why couldn't we wait here until nightfall comes, then we quietly sneak into the camp, take Knight silently, and kill him yourself? Wouldn’t that be much easier than this?"
TF then responded with, "Maybe...but it wouldn't be right...I mean, let's be fair here, I've had plenty of chances to kill Knight in the past, but yet for some reason...I wasn't able to do so...perhaps I just have the advantage and he does not and I just want it to be a fair fight. Deep down, I want this to be an honorable death."
That was a lie that TF had told him. He tried to kill me in the past, but he failed whether it be unfortunate events or he just failed. However I suppose I understand why TF lied, he did need to make sure he still had a soft side kind of I suppose...or something else for that matter.
Anyways, Snow then asked TF one more question, "Last question: couldn't he escape on that boat by the river over there?"
TF was looking straight at the boat, the boat that was near the camp site that was sitting in the water...right next to a water fall, but was blocked by rocks of course so it couldn't go over the edge.
TF then said to Snow, "Yes, but do you see what's on the boat?"
Snow then looked through the scope on his gun and took a good look and studied the boat the best he could with his eyes.
He then stopped looking and looked toward TF instead and said to him, "I believe I see what you're saying. To be clear, I'm supposed to be looking at the barrels, right?"
TF then said, "Yes, the one that are marked 'Gas'. If he tries to escape on the boat, and he will, just shoot the barrels before he even gets close to it, and if that doesn't work, just shoot the engine...the boat at some point should explode then. If not, just try your best to make the boat unable to move.”
Snow then said, “Will do…but what will happen once we’re finished…I’m assuming we’ll go back to our old homes and our separate ways or do you have another job for us? I mean…surely you didn’t just drag us all here just to kill one pony?”
TF then said to Snow, “Yes…I did…once he’s dead, you’ll go your own way and everything will be fine and such.”
Snow then replied with, “Well, felt like this trip was too short…felt like it kind of wasted my time. I’ve been on longer journey’s then this you know, even more dangerous ones.”
TF then asked Snow, “Even more dangerous than being held and almost eaten by a group of cannibals?”
Snow then responded, “Surprisingly yes, although most ponies would be too afraid to go out and explore the outside world after what we went through back there. But the rare ones like me are trained hard and can handle situations like that. Maybe not get out alive, but at least accept death for what it is…this is a cruel world TF, and you and I along with the others know that. It isn’t all rainbows and flowers like many think. The average pony out in Equestria, especially those closer to Cantorlot, they have a certain perspective about the world that they live in. Sure they may see danger every now and then, always have adventures to be had, but outside of their walls, the walls that they made with their own mind keeps them from what is else outside. Sure some might be able to make it, but most would die like every other creature. Outside of Equestria is very dangerous and filled with many animals and ponies that will have you dead in a matter of seconds. The very few that have experienced and survived the harsh world can survive outside of Equestria, although beyond this world, I am not so sure what lies there.”
TF then asked Snow, “What do you mean by that?”
Snow then said, “Well despite the cold rest of the world that lies outside of Equestria, no pony knows for sure what is beyond this planet, what there can be in the sea of stars up above us that we see every night. Sure there is the heavens and what may or may not be below us, but what about up there in the sky? What lies far away from us? Maybe one day we’ll find out, and with technology slowly replacing magic, maybe we’ll find out soon enough.”
TF then said to Snow, "Well you're at least right about that. Somewhere beyond this planet, there lies many dangers, in fact, I may know a little something about that."
Snow then asked TF, "You do?"
TF then responded with, "Yes, I've heard of a little tall tale in my travels. It's...rather obscure, but a tall tale nonetheless."
Snow then asked TF, "Tell me of this tall tale, I would like to hear it."
TF then got closer to Snow by kneeling down on the ground and got a bit closer to his face. TF then started to say, "Well, this is only a fairy tale, so keep that part in mind. But, who knows...it might be real. The story goes is that far, far away from here, in another world, another place that not even a pony can imagine lies is what is called a man. A man that is broken, a man that has been turned inside and out. A man that has been left behind and forgotten, but yet a darkness sits with it. A darkness that tells the man to do certain things."
Snow then asked TF, "So...what happens to this...man?"
TF then said, "Well...one day it got stuck in this world. It is not sure how it all happened, but this man isn’t going to just sit there and die. No...this man is going to take this world by its neck and make it his bitch. He will have this world beneath his feet and in the end, he will survive and kill anypony or anything for that matter. He does not care about life, he only cares if he gets pushed around, if he gets what he wants. But you know what the sad part of this tale is? This man was a very nice and kind man at one point. At one point, he was filled with so much joy in his heart, like if he was a kid or something."
Snow then asked TF, "So...what happened to this man?"
TF then said, "Well one day he was taking a little stroll through the forest, thinking about life and all it has to offer to him. But then out of nowhere the darkness came and convinced him that he was mad, that he was crazy, that he needed to embrace the bad side of him and kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, and kill."
Snow asked once more to TF, "Where did this darkness come from and why did it choose this man?"
TF then said "Well,,, no one really knows where the darkness came from. but it is said that this darkness came from a natural place, a part of nature you could say. A very unusual part of nature, but natural nonetheless. It was forgotten of course, but it made a place in the world and took over whoever it wanted to. it is even said that it travels from world to world and make others go mad just for fun. It'll make someone eat their own face off and skin themselves alive, just so the darkness can have a laugh and get off. But sometimes, it does things because it wants to help, help make the world a better place for certain individuals. Do you understand this fairytale that I have told you Snow?"
Snow then said to TF, "Yes, but...this might be real?"
TF then said to him, "Yes, it is a possibility it is true. But who knows, fairytales are very much crazy by themselves as they are only told for bed time stories, but yet they get tossed around for other things. But if it is true, it only adds the dangers of this world, and nothing more beyond that."
Snow then said, "I see...but where does this story's origin comes from though...surely there must be something that it is based off of from where you've heard it."
TF then said to Snow, "I don't know...I didn't stay around long enough to find out. It's quite a shame though, but that's life for you. Sometimes it kicks you while you're down. Sometimes it stabs you in the back. Sometimes...it just might kill you just for the fun of it.”
And sometimes life just kicks you in the balls because it was playing Self Defense Training Camp. Then there was only silence between the two of them again. Just...pure...and utter silence.
Then TF said, "I’ll be prepping up the cannibals for the start of the attack. From what I can tell, they like to get riled up before a good meal is served to them. Be ready when you start to see the chaos."
Snow then said as TF was walking away from it all, "Yes sir."
BACK TO KNIGHT......
Hoo ray, it's back to me again. Granted I know it might be a bit of an annoyance that it keeps jumping back and forth, but hey, it's how the story goes, the story of my life.
Then again TF isn't part of my life, but he does share it with me though, metaphorically speaking of course. I mean I did create him when I was but a little boy and did things with him...in my mind....and not only that, but he pays a lot of attention to me and pretty much tries to focus on getting me killed at whatever the cost. It's like...if he loves me...awwww...because, that's how love goes right? You burn your lover at the stake or something like that?
Then again I never had a girlfriend before...more or less. But whatever, I'm sure you readers would like to know what happened to me at this point on and shit like that, and I will...but first let's go ahead and let me give you the fine details as to what happened with the attack that TF had planned for me. I know all you grammar Nazis out there would want that now don't you? Trust me...it's a fine treat...because to you people...you get off by looking at some words and jacking off to it if it's spelled right...especially if it's a sexy word.
Well, while I was still stuck at the tent with the two complaining ponies and an annoyed boss trying to solve the problem, it was mid afternoon and all the working ponies were about to wrap up their day. Some were finishing up their jobs, some were getting ready eat their fine packed meals. Some were already tired by day's end and exhausted, so they collapsed on to their beds and said fuck it to their stomachs and went to bed a bit early. For others they were getting themselves cleaned up by using some of the fresh water from the nearby river and using buckets to clean the dirt and the grime off of them. Some had blood from small cuts and such.
Yes, they were hard workers alright. Well one of the worker ponies decided to take a piss, and since there was no bathroom stalls around, they went out from the group to take a piss by a nearby tree. That pony does not need to be any specific details, so try and imagine a generic looking pony that is going to die in a few seconds...because who cares, it's not like you were there, nor do you know who this pony was.
Besides, chances are...he wasted his life by getting married and having children. Hell, who knows, maybe his wife hanged herself while he was away and working. Well, the pony was pissing and whistling, as he was slowly relieving himself. He had no cloths on other than a somewhat warm jacket that he had on to protect himself from the cold air that breezed around him.
However, since he was a man..I mean a male, and the camp had pretty much males only in it, he didn't have any pussy to fuck. No pussy means no sex, and no sex means no orgasm. And as a male, I can safely speak for all the males...we have urges and therefore most men like to jack off. Granted that was obvious because biology but whatever.
The point is the pony after he pissed, he decided to touch himself and started to jack off. He got onto his ass and slowly laid back and enjoyed rubbing his big, long, hard cock and thought about a lot of sexy stuff that got him horny. And since he was far away from the group, no one would notice what he was doing, so he was pretty much in a private area for the moment. So he was jacking off hard, thinking about some chick blowing him or something like that, which is more better than that one pony guard I met that previous night, and pretty much tried his best to reach his orgasm.
Meanwhile, TF was prepping the cannibals for the attack, and so he got three cannibals to start the attack as he spotted the pony jacking off. His orders: scare the pony and kill him in front of the his group to get the chaos started up.
So three lonely cannibals, went down the hill and quietly went over to the pony that was touching himself...that may or may not have made god cry. Hey...I'm pretty sure it rains because god cries because everyone touches themselves at night. Hell, I'm pretty sure that's why the dinosaurs went extinct, the holocaust happened, and why 9/11 happened...because we just can't stop jacking off.
So much so that I'm sure in some universe, some pony or body out there jacked off so much that they died of herpes...and AIDs. Anyways, the three cannibals that were sent by TF snuck up quietly towards the pony that was jacking off. He eventually got to his orgasm and shot out a lot of white, weird cum into the area that he had just pissed at, and he had a smile on his face as he rubbed one out, he backed up and was ready to head back to the camp for some delicious grub.
However, as he got up, he heard one of the cannibals accidently make a weird noise..a weird noise that you would only hear from a retarded kid. After he heard the weird noise that came from behind him, he turned around to investigate, but to his surprise there was nothing to investigate as he saw three weird, looking abominations right in front of him that looked like mutants to him. At first, they were all silent.
Not a word escaped from the pony, only with a mouth that was slightly opened as he was sort of shocked to see three ponies that had birth defects in front of him. He wasn't even sure if he was seeing things or this was a dream. But they were standing right there in front of him in reality. So the pony slowly started to walk backwards and head back to the camp and try to forget that none of this ever happened before and try and repress the memories of it all, but as he started to slowly walk back to camp, one of the cannibals pulled out a very rusty, disgusting looking knife as the cannibal had a creepy smile to its face.
It was even laughing a little bit along with the others. So the pony quickly turned around and tried to gallop back, but he was too slow as the cannibal with the rusty blade quickly ran up to his back and stabbed the pony three times as another one tried to bite off his left hoof. Once this happened, he let out a loud scream of agony and pain, as the stab wound stung and felt like it was one of the worst things that ever happened to him in his life.
However, he needed to get back to camp for some help, so he tried the best he could, for survival's sake, and ran. Granted it hurt...a lot...but he pushed, but when he got closer to the camp, he was slow and was almost finished as the cannibals were catching up to him. Once he got close enough to the camp, the other workers ponies that were out and about took noticed to the pony and started to wonder what was going on. They even started to gather around the area he was walking towards to see if he needed any help or assistance of any kind, or at least see what was going on.
They also saw the three weird ponies coming after him, but weren't sure as to what was happening so all they knew was something was up and that means they were quite curious. But as the old saying goes, curiosity killed the cat. Well, when the pony got up to the crowd of ponies that was about to surround him, he finally gave up as he used up the last bit of energy that he had left within his body.
He couldn’t go on anymore has he had some bite mark on his hooves and a pretty bad stab wound on his back that was bleeding furiously. As the pony was about to breath his last moments of life, he fell down to his pony knees…or something like that…I don’t know, I’m not a zoologist or whatever.
Anyways, he fell down to his pony knees and looked out to the crowd of ponies that stood before him and he said before he fell down to the ground completely, “Run…”
With those final words of warning, he finally died as he gave up on life. No more will he have to suffer the fate of being eaten alive. No longer will he have to work to the bone of paying off taxes, as it seemed to be his only purpose in life in that damn Equestria.
No longer will he have to be bounded to society’s rules and regulations, he can think freely now in the afterlife, as his souls slowly rose to the heavens and into heaven’s gate. As his soul was rising, he looked at the sky with a smile on his face, as he knew he would find peace there. Perhaps see his ma and pa, maybe even get to meet god herself in this universe.
He even started to see his family when he was but a wee little boy and they said to him, “Come closer son. Yes…that’s it, come and join us in paradise where you forever will rejoice in the pleasures of your soul living and never have to feel any pain of any kind whatsoever.”
He was happy, as he was good his whole life, and as he was about to reach heaven’s gate and to enter peace for all of eternity…Neon was jumping on the clouds in the distance and jumped on top of the guy’s soul and said to him, "You’re mine now bitch!”
The pony then said, “What?!”
Then the two ended up in Neon Hell, a quite…nightmarish place to say the least.
Neon then said with a smile across his face while shaking the pony’s right hoof, “Welcome to Neon Hell! I’m your host, the pony that call Ghost…Neon…and you’re going to get raped mister. Have a fun time getting raped by that giant octopi behind you for the rest of eternity!”
Neon said that as he happily walked away from the pony and skipping.
The pony was a bit confused and he said, “Wait…what?”
Then a giant octopi behind him slowly started to rape him endlessly for all of eternity…in Neon Hell. What is an octopi you might ask? How the hell should I know what goes down in Neon Hell, for all I know it was really a poorly animated CGI goat in disguise.
I mean I tried seeing what an octopi was when looking into the past, but for some reason it wouldn’t let me..possibly because it kind of looked like a giant dildo…but maybe it was a giant dildo….or maybe it was Warren Beatty…what’s the difference? Then again, octopi is a thing back on Earth, but here…it’s something else…like Warren Beatty. Anyways, as that soul was burning in Neon Hell, the cannibals were starting to run towards the crowd of ponies. Of course some were scared, but some of the ponies stood their ground because it was three on..well a shit load of ponies.
And not just any ponies, but male ones…that means their toxic masculinity was their advantage….oh shit wait…give me a second…I said the wrong thing…their biological structure was their advantage since males have more strength. That’s it…that’s the one I wanted to say…where did that masculinity thing came from? Hmm….possibly got stuck in my mind before I left Earth, it was in the year 2013 when I left after all and Feminazi’s were on the rise.
Anyways, the ponies stood their ground and had their hooves sink into the earth, as they put on their fighting faces. But as the three cannibals were coming their way, they then looked into the distance and what they saw horrified them. What they saw was a whole army of cannibal ponies rushing towards them from the nearby hill. They came in large numbers the cannibals, and as the ponies saw this, they did what any other creature would do…panic. But if this was a space thing, they wouldn’t need to panic, just a simple guide to life is all. Well, they panicked, but not just panicked, but started to run into each other and yell and scream to the top of their lungs.
Some however were not afraid and still were not going to go anywhere without a fight, even if the odds were against them. So the ponies that decided to fight grabbed whatever they could, whether it be an axe with their mouths or blunt objects that they had nearby.
And as the cannibals came rushing through camp…well…let’s get back to what was going on in the tent first. So there I was, still hanging back and waiting for the argument between the two ponies to end. Rock was complaining about Fizzy being a prick and Fighting just sat there, rubbing the temple of his head due to the stress of it all. It seemed like to him he just wanted the day to end and it was the only way that the two would stop fighting.
As for Spirit, he just sat there and watched the two ponies argue it out.
I saw him and as I was looking at him, he looked at me to and I then quietly said to him, “Do these two argue everyday or something?”
Spirit then simply nodded his head. After Spirit did that, we all heard the yelling and the rustling from outside in the tent, all five of us of course. The two ponies finally shut up, Fighting got up to attention, and me and Spirit simply wondered what the hell was going on that was causing all the ruckus.
Well, Fighting then said, “What’s going out there?”
I then said to him, “Are there any dangers out here like dragons or something?”
As Fighting started to walk away from his desk and leading the way to the outside world, he said, “Usually dragons don’t live in this area…”
And as Fighting walked out and we all followed suit, the warm orange glow of the sun setting hit my eyes in the distance. I saw how beautiful it was and how it reminded me of those lazy days, but then that moment was ruined as I saw what was happening: ponies were dying left and right in front of me. I looked around me and saw ponies being eaten alive.
I saw ponies trying to survive by running away in fear from the cannibals. I even saw a pony being attacked by one cannibal, but quickly over powered it and grabbed an axe from nearby and killed it, but then got ganged up on by a group of three cannibals and slowly eaten alive.
Thankfully we weren't being attacked, yet...so I asked Fighting, "What do we do now?"
Then as Fighting started to lead the way, along with having a look of despair upon his face, he yelled out to the top of his lungs, "GET TO THE BOAT! GET OT EH BOAT EVERYPONY! GET TO THE BOOOAT!"
And so, we as a group of five started to walk towards the boat along with a few other random ponies that heard the message loud and clear, as ponies died left and right and cannibals with weird and somewhat creepy smiles went crazy.
And I couldn't help but feel that this part would be perfect if there was some sad violin music that was deep and emotional. I blame John Williams. Anyways, we were quickly walking to the boat instead of running, mostly because the others were and I just following along.
My best guess as to why they were walking in a fast pace was because they were just shocked as to what they were seeing in front of them, but also maybe they thought take one good look around and see if they couldn't help anyone...maybe. I'm not sure on that though. So they all, including me, walked, and as we were walking Fighting found a pony on the ground that had one of his legs cut off and was begging for assistance.
In fact that pony saying, “Please, oh please for the love of god please help me!”
So Fighting tried his best to pick him up and help him get to the boat. And so after he did that, he slowly dragged the random pony along with us, right up until Fighting couldn't help him anymore due to a lack energy to carry him, in which case the random pony fell back to the ground and a cannibal from nearby rushed over to the random pony and he was slowly eaten alive. However thankfully we were able to continue to walk away from it all. And so we continued to walk in terms of a fast pace and we ever got so closer to the boat.
As we were about half way there, there was more death and destruction along with chaos in what we saw in our environment. And so, as we continued to walk, we got caught by the eyesight of a few cannibals and they came rushing towards us, but Fighting and Rock used their hooves to punch them in the face, which there were three cannibals. Granted though they only punched hard enough to knock them out for a few second and enough time to take the attention from us to somewhere else. So we continued to walk and as we were walking, Axe came by and had some fresh blood on his face.
He wasn't harmed, although there seemed to have been a few bruises on his body and he had a look of horror for his expression and he quickly asked Fighting, "Boss! What's going on!?"
Fighting then replied as we all kept moving, "I don't know! Just get to the god damn boat! Try and get anypony that you can to the boat!"
Axe then said, "I don't think there' anypony left out here that isn't dead or trying to survive!"
Fighting then said in response, "Then just get to the damn boat then! We need to get out of here as soon as possible!"
And so we continued our little journey towards the boat and as we were right there in front of it and only had to walk a few more feet or so, a pony already found his way on board and even got the engine started and ready to set sail.
So the pony then said as he sort of jumped up and down in urgency, "I've got the boat started! I've got the boat start..."
Then the boat exploded right in front of us the boat jumped about maybe fifty feet in the air from the said explosion. I also believe I even heard a gunshot too as well. And so, with no way out of this terrible mess, we all turned around, thinking that there was an alternative.
As we were walking the other direction, I then yelled out to everyone else, "DON'T GO TO THE BOAT! DON'T GO THE BOAT! DON'T GO TO THE BOAT GUYS! WE'RE FUCKED!"
So we then started to walk the opposite direction and go towards the hill. As we were walking, we saw even more ponies being devoured alive than we did before. it's like the first time we only saw what we wanted to see, but when we turned our backs, it was even worse than we had previously thought. Not only were there dead bodies lying around, the smell of something that's rotten, cannibals being crazy and killing whatever that moves, blood spilled everywhere, but there were flames out and about. Fires started by the ponies themselves, some tents caught on fire.
It was chaos at the time, obviously, as ponies trying to survive or confused on what to do exactly. Really it just shows how crazy the world can be sometimes, but yet at the same time, the world itself doesn't give a shit and does what it wants.
And so we walked, and as we were walking, our pacing got even slower as the other ones in the group decided to pick up some injured ponies that were still alive, but can't walk with their legs, so they were strong enough to carry one or two on their backs.
Even as I decided to pick one up on the way walking, but we tried nonetheless to hurry it up. The pony I picked up was an old pony that looked like he had lived a full life. He was badly injured, one of his legs was completely broken and was bleeding out quickly while the one was just fine and was capable of walking for a few miles or so. So as I tried to help the pony walk, the pony just all of a suddenly die as a bullet entered his head. It was silent, but yet noticeable as some of his brains covered my right foreleg.
So I was wondering what happened when I then finally heard the sound of a nearby gun, and the bullet this time landed right in front of me, only a few inches that is. It hit the ground, but it was very close. Once the bullet hit its target, me and everyone in the group stopped in their tracks like I did instantly, and after looking at the small hole in the ground, I looked up. I didn't see any one there holding a gun to my head, which I was somewhat expecting at that point, but yet I only saw ponies still being eaten alive by other ponies.
But then I took a quick closer looking and saw a little shiny thing in the distance and what would you know....it was the sniper from before. And for a few quick seconds, I heavily concentrated in the area from where the gun shot came from and to my surprise at the time, I saw TF and the gunman...pony...whatever...standing in the distance.
The gunpony was just looking through the scope on the gun while TF was looking down towards me, as if he could see me and what I was doing without any assistance from a pair of binoculars. It was if he was toying with me in a way.
Well, after I saw that, I then dropped the dead pony that was in my arms and then said to the rest of the group that was with me, "Turn around."
Axe then said, "What!?"
I then repeated myself, "TURN AROUND! WE'RE GOING THE OTHER WAY!"
Axe then said while the rest of the group was looking at me kind of weird, but yet pissed as they barely knew me, but yet we were all in the same boat and situation that meant life or death.
Anyways, Axe then told me, "But the boat is destroyed...there's nowhere to go!"
I then looked around for a few seconds and then I saw the nearby waterfall and then thought to myself that it was our only way of escape. S
o I then turned around and looked at the others and said, "No...we still have a way out of this...but we got to jump." Axe then asked, "WAIT, WHAT?!"
I then said while looking back at the waterfall and pointing towards it, "It's risky, but it's our only shot out of this mess. We've got to jump over the waterfall and pray to god that we don't break our necks at the bottom on some rocks."
Fighting then said, "Well...it's our only shot...so let's go for it."
Then Fighting said, while saying it to anyone that was still alive, "ANYPONY THAT IS STILL ALIVE, HEAD FOR THE WATERFALL! IT'S YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO STAY ALIVE!!!"
And so I started to run towards the water fall while the others were still carrying the ponies that needed help, so they ended up walking to the waterfall. And anyone that was still alive were making their way towards the waterfall. For me I got to the edge first and before I jumped, I stopped in my tracks and looked down.
I couldn't see nothing only except for the mist that came from the water itself, so I then said to myself, "The things that I do just to get back home."
And then I leapt over the edge and into what seemed like an abyss to me. As for the others that was in the group, they made it, but one or two of the ponies that they were trying to help eventually got captured by some of the cannibals before they even made it to the water.
As for anyone else that was within the group that I was in, some ponies made it, other weren't fast enough and were quickly killed and devoured. And so, that my friends, ends my part...for now.
BACKTO TF...
And so we once again hop on over to TF's point of view. How Exciting... I mean...just going back and forth and back and forth...it's like sex somehow and I think I'm on bottom...oh well. That's life for you...sometimes you get to be on top..but at times...you just have to be on bottom...especially when your wife or girlfriend is holding a knife and a blow torch to your balls...ready to cut it off and shove it up your ass because why not.
You just have to be on bottom...but it's ok...there's a lot of friends you'll meet down there at the bottom...like Brendon Fraser's career...you get to stay with him forever and ever. In a way...think of it as god has already judged you and that is your hell. Anyways, after the whole attack thing happened, it wasn't until at the very beginning of dusk did TF's group came down from the hill. As they were going down the hill, they saw the aftermath of it all, and to be honest here, the aftermath is the worse part of it all.
Say a tornado comes ripping through your town, the worse part isn't the tornado itself, but really the destruction it makes as it moves. The cleanup and damaged homes and families along with more than likely dead or missing people as well.
You know,..that kind of stuff. The aftermath here however was a bit more gruesome than sad. There was a scent of burning flesh in the air...the same kind that I'm sure you would have smelled if you were in the holocaust and Hitler was raping you up the asshole as Shrek sang the national anthem to party rock. Yeah...that kind of smell. But it wasn’t just the smell that was vile, but the sight of it all too.
The dead bodies, the corpses that were having flies buzz around it. Bodies with missing limbs and organs. Skulls with no eyeballs or even a brain. The blood was everywhere and it even started to look like a whole pond with the amount that had been spilled onto the land. All the property that was once camp was either destroyed or burned up in flames. There was nothing left, you couldn't even tell it was once a camp site.
Now it is only a memory and a gravesite for all those that died there that day in that spot. No pony was alive, just all killed. Some died quickly, but others suffered a slow and painful death, something that they had to go through in order to reach Heaven's gates...or Neon Hell...both are possible.
Well, as TF and his group walked through the valley of the dead, they also saw some of the cannibals making their own little camps and they started fires to cook some of the raw meat that wasn't eaten yet. Others were simply just poking at the dead bodies. As for the little ones...the cannibal children...well they were having fun with the blood as they played with it as if it was like water to them. Think about it...instead of having fun in a pool of water...it's a pool of blood...that either sounds like a boring creepypasta or something that's kind of creepy but not really because…it's blood, it's not that scary. It's red liquid for fuck's sake.
Anyways, the group didn't show any emotion at all, especially for Snow and Star, they were used to sites like these. They didn't show any kind of regret that they had done this either. No...instead they only looked around and felt like it's just how the world worked. If you can't kill, or strong enough to kill, then you'll get killed. Simple logic that the rest of the world follows. In the end..it makes the world go round. Although they were a bit unease still due to the fact that a mass attack like this hasn’t been done by anypony else in the past. However, Sky on the other hand...hoof....whatever...was starting to feel sick in his stomach. For him, he was certainly not used to seeing stuff like this, and Blacky started to take notice to it as well.
Blacky saw how teary eyed Sky was getting along with signs of Sky wanting to throw up in a way. Sky was in a way...just a kid. He was old enough to go out on his own and make a living in the world, yes, but he was also just got to be an adult. In the end, he was still a kid that had a lot to learn about the cruel, cold, harsh world that he was living in.
He needed to take his time and learn that this world is going to eat him alive if he doesn't get his act together, but yet at the same time Blacky knew that it didn't feel right. He didn't feel right that Sky had to see this stuff, as if he needed more time to enjoy the little things in life before going out and being tough on others just to survive.
To Blacky, Sky just needed to be protected from this. In a way, Blacky started to feel a little father and son relationship coming on, but that was quickly cleared from his mind as he didn't want to think about it too much right away for they still had a job to do. So they walked right over to the edge, the place where we all jumped off at.
When they got there, one by one lined up and looked over the edge, even Sky despite him trying his best to keep it all together and not puke at the sights he was seeing. They looked down into the abyss that led far, far down into the water down below. It seemed like the fall never ended from their perspective, as they didn't see a bottom at all.
Soon, Snow then spoke up and said to TF, "You knew this would happen...didn't you TF?"
TF then said, "Of course...and now the real reason why I brought all of you together begins..."
Blacky then asked TF, "What reason is that?"
TF then said, "The game begins....we now hunt our prey that is down below this cliff."
TF then turned around and looked at his group. He looked at all of the ponies and they looked a bit confused, especially Sky. He had a look of disgust on his face.
TF then continued to say, "What? You didn't expect it would be that easy did you? You didn't expect for me to ask you all to just hunt Knight down and that would be it? No...I want this to be a special death for Knight. I could've hunted him down myself and killed him without you all...but instead we're going to be hunting him down in the woods after he has experienced all of this...the cannibals and the fire and chaos. He's lost...and we'll be hunting him down along with whoever survived when they jumped off the cliff."
Sky then asked TF, "Why? Why do all of this? Why did you do all of this? You're telling me that you killed all of these ponies and had them eaten alive and to jump off a cliff to certain doom that they may or may not survive just so you can hunt them all down? Why would you do such a thing? I mean I know expected something cruel...but this? Especially the innocent?"
TF then asked Sky, "I thought we had this conversation already Sky? This world isn't going to be nice to you. I told you we are friends, and I'm going to be one to you right now. I've been too soft and nice to you Sky. So I'm going to tell you this once."
TF then started to walk closer to Sky, slowly, but in an intimidating sort of way.
He said to Sky, "You either learn to tough it all up and take what you see and have it burned in to your memory that this is how the world works or you get out of my sight and walk back home on your own. Because this is how it all works outside of your little comfort zone there Sky...and if you want to know how to be tough...then stop whining and follow our lead. You won’t even have to pull a god damn trigger...and that's being generous because you should learn how to properly without fucking it all up.
'You should learn how to kill and watch your enemies burn, learn how to make sacrifices and realize that innocent ponies die in this world will perish even if it's unfair. But instead I'll let it slide as your friend and all you need to do is sit back and learn from these other ponies over here. These ponies aren't your everyday ponies...these ponies are murders, thieves, liars, robbers, military, mercenaries, bounty hunters, you name it. These ponies that you've been traveling with since day one aren't just some ponies that have a little toughness in their hearts...no...their hearts are made out of stone. They do not cry for the weak, they either stand up for them or they kill them. So either get your act together right now and follow my orders or leave right now before the worse happens. As a friend, I suggest you toughen up and accept reality that you are living in right now. Got it?"
Sky slowly nodded with a face of despair. TF then said to him, "I don't want to hear another whining word out of you from now on until we're done. Let's get going...we've got to find a spot to make camp."
And so TF walked away and most of the group followed. However, Blacky didn't feel right as to what had just happened, as TF and the rest walked away, Sky and him stayed in their places. Sky was quiet, looking down at the ground, not sure what to say at all. For Blacky, he wanted to say a few words, but he couldn't find the right words as he felt bad for him.
Blacky then spoke up and tried to say, "Sky...I..."
Sky then cut him off and he then said to Blacky, "It's...alright Blacky. I'm fine...he's right you know...maybe I do need to toughen up more. I mean...I'm more of a simple pony that lived in a small town. I was always shy in my days of youth...I always tried to be the nice one and make friends and such. But...if I'm going to be a tough pony in this world...I'm going to have to have to learn how to be one...slowly change myself, but I don't think I ever will though. I mean...I'm just too shy at heart you know...too kind...too used to the nice stuff. As my friend, Blacky...think you could...help me...help me toughen up and stuff and have me get the guts that I need to survive out in this world? I mean, even if you say no...I'm going to have to one way or another. I mean...with what happened here today...I'm going to have to stop being kind and learn to start being like you guys...if I can."
Blacky remained silent but as he was, he slowly formed a little smirk across his face as he was happy.
He then said, "Sure...we'll see if we can't make a stallion out of you by the end of all of this. If we...if I can't...I wouldn't blame you. It takes guts to live in this world, but it also takes courage to stand up to it. Now come on...we've got to catch up with the others before they leave us behind."
Sky slowly formed a smile on his face as well and then they both nodded to each other in silence. and as the sun was completely setting in the background, they quickly tried to get back to the others so they could make camp. And as they ran, the mist of the waterfall covered their tracks a little bit and such.
A WHILE BACK...
Imagine that mist turning into a winter storm. And that winter storm is a transition. And now...we're back in the past again...or we could be in the future...where everyone has their smart phones...there is good internet connections...virtual reality is everywhere, robots replacing human jobs....robots starting to become self aware...robot killing humans, every human has a chip implant that tracks their every movement and tells them their exact location to secret government officials...big brother is always watching you...2+2=5...
Every aspect of your life now public to everyone and everything....you can never escape...and there will be always thought police making sure you are thinking the right thing...you can never lie.....you're not going to need your teeth or your eyes....nobody's goanna look at you....your limbs are going to being limping at your side and having some sort of machine doing the work for you....and the human species will no longer be human...and god will hang his head in sorrow and cry a billion tears.....god's going to fucking cry...... Just kidding, we're in the past.
Anyways, of course this takes us a while back to where TF was still recruiting for his little trip. And so he is in another country, the homeland to Snow. Let's start off with it being a blizzard.
You can't see a damn thing in it. It's completely white and more than likely you wouldn’t be able to see anything coming from a mile away. A black guy could just run up to you and stab you and you wouldn't even know it in this kind of weather.
Well, TF was slowly pulling a cart, struggling to fight against the wind. He has his face covered and is wearing warm cloths so he doesn't get any frostbite at all. He struggles against the mighty wind, while at the same time he is trying to pull a cart that has some weight to it. However, as he is pulling the cart, he can see a place in the distance, a small bar with lights and sounds coming from it.
There was sound of cheering from many ponies from within the establishment. There was also laughter and happiness that one could feel from it, radiating from the place. TF could even hear music that sounded traditional to the country that he was in, and it seemed to be in a happy tone as well. So TF pulled his cart with all his might and tried to fight against the winter storm that was fierce. He eventually made it to the bar and was able to hear the voices coming from inside more clearly.
They seemed to have been celebrating after a great battle where many died, but yet they won it all. So once TF had made his cart secured in place from ever moving, he walked into the bar. From there, right from opening the door, his vision went from dark and gloomy that the blizzard produced, into a bright and gleefully setting of mostly stallions, singing and dancing.
There were some mares, some were soldiers, some were employees of the bar. But the place was crowded and filed to the rim with ponies drinking either hot cider and or some sort of alcoholic beverage. But if I were to guess what that drink would be mostly, it would be vodka, or at least some sort of kind of it within this universe.
So TF looked around while standing by the entrance, not attracting any attention, with the exception of one the soldiers that was nearby that was sitting at a table with his war buddies. He slightly glanced at him when he walked through, but he was too drunk to even care who TF was. As long as he wasn’t ruining his good time, he didn’t mind his presence or existence for that matter within that bar.
So TF scanned the area, trying to find a specific pony that he wanted to find and talk too. Unfortunately, it was like finding Waldo, there were just too many ponies. So TF started to walk around the place, but it was sort of hard since every square inch there was a pony blocking his path. So in order to not start a bar fight with just pushing through other ponies, TF simply walked past others gently and slowly, in order to not disturb their good time.
And to be honest here, TF did the right thing, because more than likely he would have had started a bar fight and he would have made the wrong move and shoved another pony into another and make everyone in the bar start a very good choreographed bar fight with an old western piano playing in the background.
TF continued to look around, but then didn’t find anything that he was looking for.
As he continued to walk, he eventually made it to the bar counter and the bar tender eventually said to him, "What's your business here?"
TF looked a bit shocked at what he had said, as he wasn't expecting to be starting a conversation with the bar tender. So TF's attention was immediately turned to the bar tender's, which the look the bar tender's face wasn't a happy one, nor a mean one either.
So TF then said to him, "Why...am I a problem or something?"
Then the bar tender said to TF, “You don't look like one of the soldiers...so you seem out of place and most of the times, that means something bad. So tell me what you're here for or get the fuck out before I snap your neck in half with my hooves."
TF then said to him, "Well then...getting a little hostile there when all I am is a friendly pony is just trying to find somepony that I am looking for that is in this fine establishment you have here."
The bar tender got a bit closer to TF's face and he then asked him, in a more direct, harsh tone, "And who pony would that be that you're looking for?"
TF then said to the bar tender, "The one that was in the battle that your country was in not too long ago."
The bar tender then said to TF's face, "All of these ponies been in that battle...and they won it too...that's why they are all here. Be more specific."
TF then said, "Well I'm looking for the one that is mostly considered a "war hero" and the one stands out the most. Not only that, but he's also the one that has for the most part that I'm hearing, mastered the newest technology in weapons development...in other words the gun. More specifically a rifle with the scope. A sniper rifle."
The bar tender then moved his head over to the right, signaling that he is telling TF without any words at all that he was to his right. The bar tender even made a slight grunt noise too when he did his slight movement. When TF looked over to his right, he saw a clear path to what seemed to be the pony that he was longing for. That pony being Snow.
Of course Snow is his code name, but still. Snow was in this case sitting with a group of his friends at a table, with his back turned to TF and was smiling and having a joyful time as well. Not only that, but Snow had a black ski mask covering his face, along with his winter clothing as well, so TF didn't get to see what Snow looked like.
But yet it felt like he was the odd one out in the entire bar. So TF turned back to the bar tender and silently gave him a nod in appreciation that he got what he wanted. So TF then looked back and started his way towards Snow. When he made over to his table, he kept silent to Snow's back and heard him laughing and talking about how he killed seventy five ponies in a row with his new gun that he just got and learned all of its tricks. Of course the gun being a kind of sniper rifle.
As Snow and his buddies were cheering of all the souls that they happened to kill on the battlefield, Snow's buddies happened to notice TF standing right behind Snow's back and all they did was stare dead straight into TF's eyes. However they didn't say anything as Snow continued to laugh and take another drink from his choice of drink.
As Snow was doing so, TF then said while behind Snow, "It sounds like you had fun then."
Snow immediately put his drink down and then looked behind him . Right then and there he saw TF with a bit of a grin looking at him. He seemed a bit off, but at the same time he's seen many things that are scary and weird. He even has met strangers that were odd characters that seemed to have come from nowhere.
So Snow then said to TF, "Yes I did. And it was hell of a time."
Snow had said that in a happy tone, and it seemed to TF that Snow was comfortable with him just showing up from out of nowhere.
TF then said to Snow, "Well it sounded like I would have had fun to if I was there. Killing another living thing is sometimes enjoyable you know. It's like playing god. You see something that's living, moving, has a life, trying to survive the world that it is in. And then from out nowhere, you can just...take that life away from them. Sometimes without them even knowing that their lives are ending and it's just so interesting you know. I mean...say there's a poor, little defenseless animal that is merely but of a child...and when it's not looking, YOU STAB IT IN THE BACK! Then that said animal is dead and gone, the body is lifeless and you did it by your own hooves. Sort of like how a god would do it...where a god could do whatever it wants to its creations, taking away life or adding it. Except it's not our creations, sure, but yet at the same time...we are taking away a soul. Ending a life either because we have a reason or just because we wanted to do so...it's interesting. Say..can I talk to you for a moment...in private?"
Snow then said, with still a happy tone in his voice, "Sure, we can go outside. No one would be hearing us over the storm."
TF then had a bit of a weird look on his face, a bit confused on the matter.
TF then asked Snow, "Outside? Wouldn't it be better to talk in here than out there?"
Snow then teased TF, "What!? A little cold is too much for you!?"
Then him and his buddies started to laugh for a bit, laughing at the idea that TF isn't strong enough for the cold where compared to them as they were used to the cold.
Eventually they stopped laughing and Snow then said to TF, "Come...we go outside. Besides, it's too noisy in here and there's too many ponies in here to make this a private conversation anyways. Outside is much better."
And so the two ponies walked outside and into the harsh, cold winter's day. When they made it through the busy bar with all the ponies moving out and about, the music and laughter all of sudden felt like it disappeared within an instant, as the sound of the wind that came rushing by their ears cut out the noises from within the bar very quickly.
And so as TF and Snow walked a few feet from the bar itself, TF felt a bit cold, but at the same time he figured he could handle it as he had been through much worse before.
And so when they got to a good spot, about roughly five feet from the bar, Snow then asked TF, "So...what is it that you wanted to talk to me in private hmmm?"
TF then responded with, "Well, I was thinking you could help me with something."
Snow then asked TF, "And what would that be?"
TF then said, "Well...you see I'm hunting down this guy. However, he’s a bit tough one for me and I'm putting together a little group that can help me out and track him down along with killing him. And I am searching for the best in their abilities and skills to survive, to fight, and too of course how to use these new weapons that have been spreading around this world recently."
Snow then said, "Wait...you look...familiar...have we met before?"
TF then said, “No...we have not met before. Now, I have heard you are the best when it comes to shooting guns from long range. Not only to mention, I've heard you even mastered the skills of using a sniper of any kind and even have learned the ins and outs of it all. In other words, within just a short time that these guns have been out, you're basically an expert in these. Almost as if you were born for them you know. So I am aware it might take some convincing you to help me and.."
Snow then cut him off and said, "Wait a second...I RECGONIZE YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MADE THE INVENTIONS OF GUN!"
TF paused for a moment, wondering how he would know his face, let alone know what he had done. But then he recalled something from not too long ago. He was in a small town, filled with outlaws and crooks, but with also those that fought for the law as well. He remembered that one day he just walked into a bar, a saloon to be more exact, and ordered a simple drink of liquor. After he was done with the drink and paid for it, he left a bag in there filled with many types of guns that he took from another universe. The outlaws saw it and noticed that TF had left it.
Long story short, they tracked TF down, he explained it all to them how it all works and their minds were simply blown away by the idea that guns were another option to use in battle or war to just kill another pony. However TF wasn't selling them, but more or less gave them away.
Soon within the town word spread about what he had done, but yet no one knew his name, but that didn't matter because as few days passed, but outlaws and those that uphold the law were fighting and getting used to the ideas of guns. It had its downsides, but it also had its upsides as well, and in this case in the eyes of the ponies, the positives outweighed the negatives.
And so throughout the small town, they knew TF's face, but never his name, they even took several pictures of him though and labeled him as the one that invented guns. And soon the guns started to spread out, slowly, but soon it would be all over the world that eventually Equestria would be infested by them, and to TF it was all going to be according to plan.
However, after TF had recalled that specific memory, he then said to Snow, "Yes...yes I am. But barely any...pony knows about me. I suppose you took a long good look at that picture in that small town from where it all started."
Snow then said, "Yes...yes I did...how did you know that I went to that small town?"
TF then said, "Simple: That small town is the only town that has my picture along with the line, "THE PONY THAT INVENTED THE GUN." I'm guessing you're a fan of my so called "work?"
Snow then replied with, "You do not know how much of a fan that I am. I used to fight with bows and arrows...never really good at it. But then I found the perfect girl...the one that you call a sniper in that small town when I was passing by one day. It looked beautiful...it called out to me and I knew it was the one for me. I spent every day learning it and cleaning it. I thought it was a gift from god, but then I found your picture and you're the one that invented them...correct?"
TF then said, "Yes, that's right...I made them."
Snow then said, "I cannot thank you enough for doing so. I cannot repay you enough."
TF then had a bit of a confused look on his face and then asked Snow, "Repay me? I suppose you love the gun so much that you feel like you owe me...am I getting that right?"
Snow then said to TF, "Yes, yes it is my friend. You introduced me to something that I love so dearly and that I cannot say thank you with words. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."
TF then had a little smile grow on his face, because he had a backup plan in case he wasn't able to convince Snow to do his little job that he wanted him to do.
And so TF then said, "Well then...that's good to hear. Although can you do me a little favor?”
Snow then said to TF, “Anything for you. Just name it.”
TF then said, “Just make sure not to mention that I made the guns if you can when you meet the others. I prefer to stay a low profile. Assuming you can that is.”
Snow then said, “I will try my best sir.”
TF then said to Snow, “Now if you just follow me and..."
Snow then stopped him in his sentence and said to him while grabbing him with his hooves and forcing him to go inside the bar again, "Come my friend, we shall celebrate this moment with a round of drinks...and don't worry, it's on me."
And as they walked into the bar, the winter blizzard forever roared behind them into an ever white mist.
BACK TO KNIGHT....
And so we return where I left off, and we go back to me of course. I mean at this point why wouldn’t it go back to me, I mean I'm fucking the storyteller at this point, talking about my life and experiences...and shit. Hell, I could be lying to you all right now and just say this was all in my head...but then again...maybe that is what life is you know...maybe we are all in just some guy's head...maybe it's Rob Schneider's head or something.
That would explain the illegal Mexicans. Well, anyways let's get back to me and everything what's been happening. So I'm at the bottom of the water fall or at least near it. I'm on dry land and I'm soaking wet. I was sitting on a nearby rock near the river, looking down towards the ground and wondering what was going to happen next.
As for everyone else, well, the ones that I was with made it out alive and survived. But as for the rest that jumped, they ended up drowning or got unlucky and crushed every bone in their body as there were some rocks at the bottom of the waterfall. It was just that I along with the few that remained we didn't land on the rocks.
That and we were lucky enough we didn't drown either. Well, me, Axe, Fighting, Spirit, Rock, and Fizzy were all near each other. Fighting and Axe were in the shallow parts of the river. Fizzy was on the ground, trying to catch his breath while still coughing up water every now and then...and maybe some of his own blood I think as well.
As for Spirit and Rock, they were as silent as I was, minding their own business and thinking of what the next step should be and to find civilization once more. With Fighting and Axe, they were in a river filled with dead bodies that were floating by. Some of the dead bodies even managed to float further away from us and such. Fighting and Axe were in the shallow parts of the river, desperately hoping to find someone else alive, but they didn't. Instead, all they got was the sound of the water hitting the river and nothing else.
none of us talked; we all knew what just happened and there was nothing to talk about. If anything, we just sat there and looked at each other, we you could just tell on each of our faces we were in some deep shit. Granted I've been in deeper shit before, where I would have died plenty of times. If anything this was the normal deep shit that I'm used to.
Problem was though I haven't been in this amount of shit for quite some time, not since me, TK, and Factory Dash were going through those universes before. So I was kind of rusty on my survival skills that TK had taught me. And he only taught me the bare bones basics of survival too, so it wasn't anything advanced. Not only that, but I had no idea what TF was doing out here in the woods, trying to pick me off.
At the time, I knew TF would have wanted to just go all out and attack me and TK as usual, but he was acting a bit different. And at the time, I couldn't figure it out. Anyways, we were sitting there, keeping our mouths quiet and letting the silent air fill the atmosphere. Not only that, but it was still cold as well, mixed with being wet, it wasn't fun.
While we were all silent and the other two were trying to find survivors, I saw a random bear walk up to one of the corpses and just start eating it. The bear just tore into a pony's flesh and soon a few cubs came and joined in on the meal that the bear found. It was kind of weird seeing that bear eating a pony...kind of felt like it symbolized something...but I knew it was really some fucking bear that life threw at me that was eating a dead pony's body. But I swear though...if it was an Indian pony, it would have tasted a lot better. Hell, I'm sure Neon can make a mean Indian pony pasta meal...made out of native ponies. Well, aside from that, we were just waiting and sitting there, as the time slowly passed. But then...we heard something. A pony all of a sudden emerged from the river and gasped for air. We all heard it and immediately turned our attention to hat said pony.
Then the pony must have saw us and he immediately swam towards us. Fighting of course tried to go out and help the poor guy and as the pony got closer to shore, Fighting held out his right hoof and helped the poor guy on to dry land. Eventually the survivor came crawling out of the water and started to cough up some water like Fizzy did. Eventually he caught his breath back and I finally got a good look at him.
He was a Pegasus, had a red coat color, a black mane that was combed back, although of course it was wet. He had a jacket on around him that appeared to be a black leather jacket, but of course it was ruined and when the pony gathered his energy, he took it off, but looked sad and disappointed though. As for his cutie mark, there was a picture of a black leather jacket on it, similar to the one that he had on.
Well, we were surrounding him, wondering if he needed help getting up from the ground as he was lying on his back at this point. He even managed to get a pair of dark sunglasses and a comb out from his leather jacket and combed his hair a little bit and put the sunglasses on. Then he started laugh while having a big smile on his face.
It was a slow laugh at first, but then that laughter grew louder and felt like this was all a joke or something. we all were confused of course, not sure what to make out what he was doing or simply why he was doing it.
Eventually he got from the ground and he looked at us and his first words that said to us right after he stopped laughing but kept the smile, "Come on...lighten up will you?"
Then he walked past us and went and stared at all the floating dead bodies.
Rock then asked him, "Lighten up? Lighten up!? LIGHTEN UP?!!!....DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? ARE YOU NOT SEEING THIS RIGHT NOW IN FRONT YOUR FUCKING EYES!? THERE ARE DEAD BODIES EVERYWHERE! SOME WERE EVEN EATEN ALIVE YOU SON OF A BITCH! THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS TO EVEN LIGTHTEN UP TO EITHER!"
Fighting then looked at Rock and said to him, "Calm down! Right now this is not the time for complaining or arguing with each other. Right now we need to..."
I then cut him off and said to the rest of the group, "...get our shit together. To start off we're all wet and it's cold outside. There's a whole bunch of dead bodies that even some of the bears are coming over to feast on, so these poor souls won't get a proper burial. Not only that, but we're miles I'm sure from the nearest town, we have no food, water, or shelter for that matter. It's going to become completely dark soon with no source of light other the moon maybe. And to top it all off, we have a group of six ponies, one of them that I happen to know, is after us and more than likely is going to hunt us down like dogs. So if you ask me, we need to get our shit together and find a suitable spot for camp. We're also going to need to find some food, fresh water, and of course we all have to work as a team if we want to survive out here."
Fighting then said, "Well then...took the words right out of my mouth. Right then...we follow you then I suppose since you seem to know what's going on I suppose."
Rock then said, "Just hold on a minute though...did you just say we're being hunted...and one of them you happen to know?"
He also pointed at me with his left hoof and I then simply replied with, "Yeah," as slightly nodded my head.
He then said as he got closer to me in a intimidating way, "So this must mean he's after you because I damn know well that anypony here isn’t trying to kill me. If anything, these ponies are after you, not us."
Fizzy then tried to defend me and said to him, "Come on, this isn't the time to point hooves and..."
Rock then said, "YOU SHUT UP YOU FUCKING PRICK!"
Fighting then said, "EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! As Knight here said...we need to get our shit together...and if we want to survive...we have to work together. That and apparently we are all being hunted down by somepony that he knows, so I would think that he might know how this pony thinks. So I suggest that we all listen to him then. Is that good with you Knight?"
I then nodded my head silently, only because I wanted to get back to Stalia and continue to live.
So I then said, to the group, "Alight then...first let's just get everyone's names and make sure we are all familiar with each other."
Fizzy then spoke up and said to me, "We all kind of know each other's names by know I would think."
Rock then pointed over to the survivor that was still standing and looking at the river filled with what seemed to be endless corpses and said, "We just don't know him."
The survivor heard what we were saying and he then turned around and looked at us.
He then said with a cool looking smile, "My name's Grease Jack. Or you can just call me G."
I then asked G, "Well nice to meet you, but quick question...why were you laughing earlier and why do you have a smile on your face?"
Rock then said, "Yeah...I would like to know too...because apparently this guy thinks this is a funny situation right now. I wouldn't mind punching that smile off his face."
G then said, "Relax...take a chill pill. I'm just trying to look on the bright side is all."
Rock then said, "What bright side?"
G then explained as he slowly walked towards us, but in a cool manner in a way, "What I'm saying is you have got to lay back for a moment and relax. I mean sure...there’s going to be some dark moments in life, but no matter how dark it might get, you just got to shine that light on the darkness and stay positive. That and come on...life's a big joke. What isn't there to laugh at here? Just relax and be cool about it...don't be so strict or nervous...or stressed for that matter. You just need to be calm and enjoy the little things...you know? Now how about we say we go find a place to camp for the night...it sounds like it's going to be a fun time just hanging out with the guys. Come on...times' a wasting."
And so G walked off and went ahead of us, and of course we followed suit without a single words...although Rock did give me a look saying that he didn't like me at all. And so we moved into the wilderness that was in front of us and made an effort to set up camp as the sun fell in the sky and the moon rose up with the stars.
A FEW HOURS LATER.....
Well...to save you the time and to spare the boring details, we eventually found a camping spot. Don't worry...I'll give you fuckers some insight. So what happened? Well, with G, he went back and grabbed a decent sized knife along with a bag that could hold his comb and knife.
It was a small bag that went around our backs, almost like one of those saddle things that these ponies carry around things in that has pockets on both sides, but it's one side that has the carrying capacity, or something on the lines like that. We then found three decent sized logs and circled it around and made a decent sized campfire as well. The fire wasn't too big, but big enough to warm up all seven of us for the time being.
As for food, as we found some food that was oddly enough left behind some of the animals...or maybe the animals were out and we just kind of stole it from them and that means they will slowly starve to death and wonder who in the hell took their food as they slowly die a slow and painful death and see their god.
Or you know it was left behind or something, and it was fresh too, but it wasn't too much though. Besides, these ponies don't really eat meat, although some of them may or may not eat fish...surprisingly after being here for so long I still don't get the idea behind that sort of thing. Anyways, we were able find a source of fresh water as well. Again, not much but it had to do. Aside from sleep, we were fine for the night at the time. All that was left was to just wait for the morning to come around and get a move on and such.
Of course, with the time that we had, we did talk a little about stuff. It was around when we all got settled and we were sitting on our assses, huddling around the camp fire. We also smelled too and weren't clean of course, but at least we had something in our stomachs and some warmth to keep the cold away and from us from dying in our sleep. Well, we were all silent at first, but one of us had to break the ice.
So, I then said to everyone in the group, "So...here we are. We're in the middle of the woods, pretty much in the middle of nowhere and are being hunted down."
Rock then responded to me with, "No we're not shithead. We're in the middle of fuck city; population: us. Do you realize how fucked we are? Do you realize how far up shit creek we are without a damn paddle? Because you're looking at it right now. We're all fucked."
Fighting then stepped in and said, "ROCK! Listen, we are in some deep shit, let's not lie about that. But we're going to make it. If we just work together and..."
Rock then cut off Fighting and he said to him, "What are you?! My father or something? Don't tell me what to do...ok? Knight here got us in to this mess and...."
I then cut in and said to him, "Well I kind of did. Sorry, didn't mean to...but let's face it I had no other choice. They pushed me into the woods as they were chasing me and I just happened to come across you guys, not only that but I didn't expect them to send a bunch of cannibals at you guys either. Cut me some slack here, I was just supposed to pass on by and stuff."
Rock then said to me with fury in his eyes, "CUT YOU SOME SLACK!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HAVE DIED TODAY?! WE'RE ALL FUCKED BECAUSE OF YOU!"
G then butted in and said, "Chill Rock...let it go. Let's just sit back and enjoy the stars and take a break."
Rock then turned his fury towards G and he then said, "Oh...don't get me started on you either you son of a fucking bitch."
Fizzy then said, "I don't quite understand what kind of grudge you have against G...we just met him and ..."
Rock then said, "Oh just shut the fuck up you prick. JUST SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! Right now...we need to be thinking about how we're going to get these assholes and kill them first before they get us. We shouldn't be lying around here and sleeping. We need to keep moving and..."
I then had to step in as part of my basic training that TK had taught me something that I needed to tell Rock about.
I then said to him, "I'm sorry rock, but right now we are all tired and cold. It's best to reserve as much energy as possible while keeping warm by the fire. And besides, they're doing the same as us, camping outside while being around a fire...except with more than a likely shelter and blankets and actual food though...while we just have our wits... and the knife and a comb that G has on him."
G then said to me, "Hey...thanks for recognizing me Knight...very much appreciate it. I also like your hat too...where'd you get it?"
I then had to say to him, "Uhh...thanks...I guess. As for my hat...I uhhh...got it from a friend a long time ago, a friend that gave it to me after I sort of graduated."
Fizzy then asked me, "Graduated from what?"
I then told him, "Well let's just say I went through some basic survival training...and I mean very basic stuff. I was supposed to do more but...let's just say it didn't work out."
G then said to me, "Cool. Cool. And where's that friend now? Is he chilling back at his place or what?"
I then said to him, "Well...he's dead...been dead a long time now. But I have this hat to remember him by...even though he told me he stole it off a dead guy."
G then told me while giving me a face that looked like he had pity for me, "Ohhh....sorry about that, sounds sad to hear that dude. But hey...maybe you'll see him again one day in another place, if you get what I'm saying...or maybe you'll see him as a Ghost."
I then told him, "I doubt I'll see him as a ghost, let alone a skost...but...maybe. In a another time or existence."
G then asked me, "And what about that satchel too...did that friend of yours give that to you too?"
I then looked down at the satchel that I was always have been wearing, but at the same time kind of forget that I do wear it. I looked at it and it looked like it was worn out and old, but it was still good. Sure I had some survival things in it, but it wasn't the best to take them out at that moment and I really wasn't use to holding a gun as a pony yet. Sure I had done it in the past, but I barely had a good grip on the damn thing at the time. I was still getting the hang of how my hooves can be somewhat oddly flexible in terms of holding things...it was kind of weird to explain...it was as if it's like....magic or something.
Anyways, I then looked up again at G and told him, while everyone else was listening, even Rock, "No...I kind of chose it myself. I just thought it would be useful...but to be honest though...I just thought it looked cool on me at the time. But those days when I was young and stupid are over I suppose."
Rock then said, "What are you talking about...you look young, sure maybe not a colt, but you still have plenty of life left in you."
I then thought about what he said, and yeah, I still have life left of course, I have plenty. It goes for all of eternity and never stops because I can live forever, but yet it still felt like I was only a dumb teen then.
Anyways, I then said to him, "Well it feels like it was a thousand years since I was a colt. I mean, I didn't have much, mostly by myself most of the time since I had no brothers or sisters to hang around with. Mostly just me and my parents. But to me...they were kind of bland, boring, but simple...ponies... They had no interesting back story aside from my dad being in the service, but aside from that, just simple folks with simple tastes. Most of the time I just forget about them as if they never existed in the first place. But hey, I moved on from them, got this cool hat and satchel that I forget that I have half the time, and just try to get by day to day you know."
Axe then said, "Yeah, I know how that feels...that's what I do most days, just live day-by-day and see what comes up in life. Then again I'm not much for the crazy stuff. I mean stuff that these Elements of Harmony that they get into..I wouldn't want to be part of that, I would want to stay with my normal life...not much for the adventures aside from exploring the great outdoors."
I then said, "Yeah, I know...except for me that never happens. I mean, I tried to move to the town of Ponyville because I just wanted a simple and cozy life. Just get a simple job that paid enough and just live out the rest of my days in that town...but instead I get into trouble with one thing then I get up in another thing and then I end up moving somewhere that's the opposite of Ponyville and then even more shit happens and then all hell breaks loose for me. I just want that simple life like you Axe because my early days of youth, I've been and done things that is twenty one times more crazier than what the Elements of Harmony has done...and I've seen it and just want to go and have a simple, but relaxing life somewhere that's sort of safe.
'But then again...that dream died a long time ago when I got into some shit that I had no intentions of getting into, but you know what...I'm fine with that. Sure it's not exactly what I wanted, but with keeping with G's look on the bright side of things...I figure...I get through this shit and one day I'll have my peace. I'll be done fighting, that my fighting will be over. Or maybe fate has it in for me and my fight will never be over and I just get endless shit forever and ever and for all of eternity."
And then we were all silent...for about a few seconds...
Then G finally spoke up and he then said, "Whoa...that's deep...and a little depressing. You've got to learn to lighten up a bit...you know?"
I then said to him, "Thanks...I'll keep that in mind the next time when shit starts to hit the fan again. What about you G? What's your story?"
Fighting then said, "Yeah...I would like to know too. I mean, I don't ever recall hiring you at all."
Rock then spoke up and chimed in, "I don't even recall seeing you there at the camp either. So you better start talking before we start to assume you're just here to spy on us."
G then said with a smile, "Relax guys...keep it calm...keep it easy. I'll let you know all about me and what I do. You want to hear my story? You got to sit back and relax first and..."
Rock then demanded, "Just tell us who you are before you find your neck snapped in half."
G then said, still calm, "Alright then..chill. So you all want to know who I am? I see...well there isn't much to really say. I was sort of lost you know...out in the woods, with nowhere to go. What had happened before hoof was that I was in a crash, a really bad one, but could have been a worse one. It was a...hmmmmp...I can't seem to remember what it was now that I think of it. I just remember it was me and a few other ponies, just coming along for the ride, and I was relaxed like usual, keeping happy about the entire world. Looking around me and making the smile never ending. I was happy and chilling, life was good. Then all I remember that we crashed...and all of those other ponies died. Not a single soul left alive...but that's ok.
'Because chances are they moved on to a better place...a place up above where they relax and chill. As for me, I seemed to be the only one that survived the crash and I was badly beaten up, my leg...leg felt like it was broken. But I looked on the bright side to it all and said to myself, 'G...everything is going to be alright. You're around beautiful nature, you're alive, and you still have your cool'. And so I moved along, saying hi to the signing birds and the busy bears. Eventually I found a river, and soon I found you guys. Then when I saw all of you and how you were all working I thought it felt like it was all cool...you know? So I looked around and walked in, blended in and no one asked me who I was. Then of course those ponies came in and found a decent meal out of all of you...well..most of you, and I jumped last minute thinking to myself, 'This is going to be one fun ride'.
'And then I fail from the heavens and you guys picked me up...and now here we all are...chilling...relaxing....enjoying the night sky up above. And the thing is I remember those stars like the back of my hand. If you look up there sometimes...I think I see somepony that I recognize...it's really weird you know? I just look up and think to myself...how I miss to be up there sometimes."
Rock then talked and said, "What in the FUCK are you talking about? You don't even make sense...and for us to believe you just walked right in without us all noticing and..."
G then said, "You were in the tent all day complaining...so who could have ever noticed."
Rock then remained silent.
G then still had his smile on and gave a little laugh and said, "That's alright Rock...we're cool. So let's just chill and talk about life and such and how cool it is."
Fizzy then spoke up and then said, "I would like to...um...'chill and talk' if I may do so?"
G then looked at him from across the fire and then said to him, "Well go on then my friend, you're welcome to talk your heart out. I would love to listen to whatever...ever you have to say. Say? Why are you called Fizzy in the first place anyways?"
Fizzy then said, "Well...it's because I'm a scientists...I always loved working with chemicals and such. Especially outdoors and when the environment is concerned. Granted though I don't really like my name to be honest. I was always picked on at school for it, I was always bullied for the things that I did and...well I didn't have much of a childhood either. My dad never loved me and my mother always said I was mistake...always worked at the whore house. Not sure why she didn't kick me out on to the streets...but...here I am...long story short, I made it into the big leagues of scientists in Cantorlot and well, there isn't much to say about me either. I'm just some poor sap that has no one to love."
G then asked Fizzy, "What about a mare? Is there a mare that loves you...like a marefriend?"
Fizzy then said, "Oh Heavens No...I haven't been on a date at all, not even kiss a girl for that matter. No, I'm all alone, usually by myself every night reading the books that I have in my collection. I don't have any friends either to hang out with and, well I'm just a lonely pony is all. I'm somehow shocked that I even survived after today's events."
G then said, "Maybe you're alive for a reason?"
Fizzy then asked G, "Excuse...me?"
G then said, "Well, what if God had a plan for you? What if God kept you alive today just so you can get a second shot at life...you know? What if today, we all got a second chance at life. Maybe for you Fizzy, You got a second chance to live life and find yourself a girl to love and find friends. I mean, it isn't like God is going to kill you off right after God let you live."
Fizzy then said, "I tend to find that doubtful."
G then said to Fizzy, "You've got to lighten up Fizzy...look at yourself. You're alive and maybe when you get back home, you can have a second chance to find some friends and have a family. Wouldn't that sound nice?"
Fizzy then stayed silent for a moment and then said, "That...does sound quite nice to be honest. But...what if I don't find anypony. What if I..."
G cut him and said to him, "Relax Fizzy...I'm sure if God kept you alive, I'm sure God will find a way to help you find love and life itself. What about you Rock? What's something that you regret about your life?"
Rock then said bluntly to G, "Nothing. Now shut up."
G then said, "Come on Rock...isn't there something you would like to do, have a second chance at in life?"
Rock then stared blankly at G and he then said, "Well...to be honest I would like to see my little girl again. I have a daughter that I sadly abandoned many years back. Wasn't really a good father or a role model for her for that matter and so I went up and left her. So I would like to go back and meet her once more and say sorry to her. I do love her after all. Now I said what I said...now shut up and leave me alone...got it?"
G then said, "Got it? I see you want to be left alone for the rest of the night and I get it...it has been a stressful day for you all and I understand you all want to kick back and relax under the stars for once. What about you Axe...what's the one thing you regret?"
Axe then said, "Well...I would want to fuck one more time."
We all stared at him and wondered why he said that.
Axe then said, "Well it's true. I mean come on...I'm not married, but I know a couple of girls that I used to bang and really I just want to get that pussy one more time you know. I want a blow job around my cock and feel that warm and soft tongue wrapped around it. I want to fuck...I mean...who wouldn't...right?" Fighting then said, "Well anyone that is young and in there prime that is."
Axe then said, "But you get what I'm saying...right? Look I don't have any regrets, I'm glad I work for Fighting and stuff, I made an honest living, have some friends back home, and I'm a bachelor so...I don't have much that I regret other than not banging three girls in one night before I left. I only banged one."
G then aid, "That's cool Axe...that's really cool. I understand. Sex is a pleasure in life and you want to embrace it and feel alive while your body can still have all that energy. I feel the same way, but yet at the same time, I'm more for hanging out with a mare then having intercourse with her, but you know...that's your thing and I get it. What about you there...who is his name?"
G then pointed at Spirit and Spirit never answered. Instead, Fighting answered for him and said, "He's my adoptive son and he doesn't like to talk."
G then said, "Oh...that's nice then. Does he have any regrets?"
Fighting then said, "I'm sure Spirit doesn't want to talk about that kind of stuff, so I'll just take his place. For me, it's leaving my homeland. I've got to be honest, I'm a little home sick and feel like I need to return to my home back in my country. I just want to see my home country one more time before I die you know."
G then said, "Nice...nice...and what about you Knight...got any regrets about you?"
I then was silent for a bit until I said, "Well, I have a lot of regrets you know. I mean, I've made a lot of mistakes that I want to take back. I want to redo things again, and say to others. In truth, I have a lot of regrets but too many to choose one. But if I had to choose one, I guess I would want to go back to my home in Stalia and just do what I have to do. At this point, if I get it done sooner, the closer I'll be to at peace for myself."
G then asked me, "What if it doesn't end that fast?"
I then said to him, "Well...then it's just a shit sandwich that I have to eat then. Let's just stop talking and get going to bed...it's late and we need our energy for tomorrow."
Rock the spoke up and then said, "I'll stay up and be on guard for the night."
I then said, "Good...but before we hit the hay...I need to know...where's the north star at?"
Fighting then said, "You mean you don't know?"
I then said to him, "Well I said took basic survival training...I never said I took anything beyond that."
Fighting then said, "I know...but knowing the north star isn't even difficult, it's below basic."
I then said, "Well I'm sorry for not being a fucking astronomer...just tell us where the north star is at Fighting."
Fighting then looked up at the night sky and saw all the stars dancing and glittering above him in the heavens.
He eventually found the north star and pointed up in the sky and said, "There it is. I see it now."
Fighting was pointing with his right hoof towards a constellation, which looked like the User Minor Constellation to me, but considering that an User Minor is a real thing is this universe along with it being different entirely, I wasn't too sure if the constellations were the same back on Earth or not.
Fighting then continued to say, "So since that's the North Star, we can at least tell where we're going."
I then asked Fighting, "So where do we go now in order to get out of the woods and on way back home or at least find the nearest town for help?"
Fighting then said, "Well, I do know these parts of the woods, I have been here once or twice, but not for long so I barely know the terrain at all. But I do know how to get out of here."
Fighting then turned around behind him and pointed with his hoof towards two tall mountains into the distance. Everyone in the group looked at the two mountains. They were purple and had plenty of snow covering them as well, but they weren't too tall either and both mountains were separated from each other so you could see a space right between the middle of the two.
Fighting then said to us all, "There's a passing between those two mountains that we go through in order to get back on a nearby trail. We can reach there by tomorrow evening at the latest if we push ourselves hard enough."
Fighting then looked back to me and I then asked him, "Is that our only option?"
Fighting the responded to me, "Well, there are several others, but most are far out of reach. There is only one other exit nearby, but it's a bit further out west however and it can kind of be dangerous too if not careful enough."
I then said, "Well then...it's settled, we head for the passing tomorrow and pray that we don't get slaughtered on our way going there too. For now...I suggest we all get some rest. So...with that said....good night."
And then all of us, except for Rock of course, laid down on the ground and kept warm by the fire and tried to get some rest. Of course it wasn't comfortable considering it was the hard, cold ground, but it had to do, and besides, we were ponies, we had some fur to keep us warm, but not too warm though. Aside from that, that ended our day, even if it felt a bit short, but we needed to conserve our energy. Hell, it didn't even matter that we didn't get to know each other that much either. All everyone wanted to do was to survive and live to see the next day. So that's the end of my part...for now.
BACK TO TF....
And once again we're back to that fucker TF...how wonderful. I mean, TF's a dick...I'm not sure why I'm even including him in this part of my life. But yet I can't help but feel that I need to do so.
Maybe it's the universe or something, I don't know. Anyways, after Sky and Blacky talked a bit, they eventually caught up to the group. Long story short, everything was fine, they just needed to find a camping spot is all. However due to the fact that we were far away, as in elevation, they weren't able to catch up to us. Instead they had to camp at the top of the hill, right near the cannibals.
Granted though they were fine with it, but I'm sure those cannibals would eat them if it wasn't for the fact that TF helped them out. Speaking of the cannibals, after they ate their fine meals of ponies, especially some being alive as well, they all had an orgy. I'm not trying to crack a joke here, they literally had an orgy and as TF's group was all set up for the night around a camp fire and some food that was not pony, Blacky was staring out into the distance, looking at the stars and the moon as it danced high in the sky. It looked beautiful to him and certainly to me as well that night.
Especially to me, it felt like the night sky was lonely and dark, but yet so bright and wonderful in what it was. And as for Blacky, he could see all the snow across the landscape along with the mountains as well. He could see it all and to him it was just one big landscape of nature, filled with animals and trees and such. But of course he also saw the orgy that was going on within the grounds that was once a camp that Fighting once ran.
He saw a few cannibals making musical dances as if it was part of a common ritual, as the cannibals themselves started to scream and shout to the top of their longs. Some were fully covered in the blood of their victims as they fucked each others in the butts. They were care free with the kind of sex they were having as some were male on male and some were so disturbing I'm not even sure what they were doing as it was just pure and raw sex. And of course the smell was rotten and it could be smelled all the way to TF's camp.
Blacky smelled the terrible stench of what was going on, but yet was disgusted by the sight as he had seen worse in his earlier days. He had seen war of course, but not a kind one either. So as Blacky was looking at the magnificent wonders of nature in the far distance, he was also forced to see the mess of an orgy down below near him at the bottom of the hill. And so after seeing the sight of cannibals fucking other cannibals that would lead to incest and defective babies from birth, he turned around to see that everyone was around the campfire and that they just had their meal for the day.
Nothing much for what they ate, if anything it was normal and had nothing to do with meat. But I'm willing to bet that they ate better than us. Although before they ate, TF had asked them where did their saddlebags went and as explained from earlier, the cannibals took it. Even afterwards when they went free the cannibals still ruined the bags so it didn't matter to much. Not only that, but they also had cloths to keep them warm while we only had a fire.
Blacky then slowly walked towards the campfire and sat in a spot to make it a complete circle of the group sitting around the camp fire.
He then said to them all, "I don't know about you guys...but that site over there...with the whole orgy and everything...it's kind of sick to watch...and I've been through wars."
Mr. Brown then said, "It kind of turns me on."
He said with a smile and within that smile was a horrible looking grin with a few missing teeth to go along with it.
Pink of course didn't like what her brother said so she then slapped him on the back of the head with her hoof and yelled at him, "You fucking pervert!"
Of course, Mr. Brown felt her hit that her sister did to him, so he quickly turned around his head as a reaction to that with a face that said, 'Ow...' Mr. Brown then said to his sister, "That fucking hurts you cunt! And besides...I'm just saying what's true...baby."
Mr. Brown then gave a wicked smile to her, as if he was hinting at something...possibly even incest.
Pink then said to Mr. Brown, "I wouldn't even fuck you if you weren't my brother."
Mr. Brown then said, "Well fuck you too bitch. But while you're sleeping tonight, when you're not looking, I'm going to be getting me some of that fine ass."
Pink then slapped her brother straight across the face once more, this time a little harder.
Blacky then had to speak, "What is wrong with you two?"
Mr. Brown then turned his attention towards Blacky and then said to him, "Well I'm not sure if you haven't notice yet, but this group is mostly a sausage fest. The only mares around here is my sister and that silent bitch over there."
He then looked and had a quick glance at Star Glitter, who then looked back him with a pissed off look with no words. Mr. Brown of course quickly looked away and tried to forget the look that Star Glitter gave to him.
So Mr. Brown continued his conversation and he then said, "Besides, I can't just jerk off...whenever I'm horny back home, I just go and find a whore house. Usually I get the ladies without paying them."
Pink then said out loud, "Of course you don't....instead they try and get away from you, but instead all you do is end up raping them."
Mr. Brown then said to his sister, "Well if they weren't whores, then maybe I wouldn't force them to have sex with me."
Pink then asked her brother, "Then why on earth would you want to rape me then?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Well...ain't you a whore?"
Mr. Brown then gave a little laugh, but all Pink did was take out a knife from her jacket thing and put it against his throat and said to him, "If you call me a whore one more again...I'm going to fucking kill you...I don't care if you're my brother anymore because you know what? You're a fucking idiot and you deserve whatever is coming to you in the end."
Mr. Brown only gave a short laugh and continued to smile at her and said, "Baby, the more you threaten me, the more my dick is getting harder. Don't deny it sweetie, one day you and I, despite being siblings, are going F. U. C. K. Fuck and we're going to do it because we both want to have a good time...or at least I want to have a good time that is. You and me baby, we're going to do it like they do it on that Discovery Raid Channel."
Blacky then looked a bit confused, but yet couldn't believe the two brother and sister could eventually screw each other, and it was a bit of a sick idea to him.
Blacky then looked at TF and asked him, "What kind of fucking hole did you find these two inbred hicks at?"
TF then said, "Trust me, I was considering with going with two others, but they ended up being hanged before I could get to them within enough time. So I just had to settle with the leftovers."
Mr. Brown heard Blacky's inbred comment and he then turned his smile into a frown real quick and looked at Blacky and said to him, "Hey! I'll have you know we don't come from an inbred hick family. It's just that I want some girl pussy right now and my sister is all that I've got."
Mr. Brown then looked back at Pink and slowly licked his lips sexually. Pink then gave a look that said she was disgusted at her brother, that she didn't want her brother near her. That he could think of such a vile act to do to her.
So Pink then said to Mr. Brown, "You better not you son of a bitch! Or else so help me, Momma is going to whoop your ass when you get to heaven boy."
Mr. Brown then said, "Or maybe when we get to Neon Hell that is. Besides...there's no such thing as Heaven. Only Neon Hell and Nothingness, that's what exists after we die baby. And since life is meaningless, we should...you know..make the best of what we've got it and...get it on."
TF then interrupted and then asked, "What the hell is Neon Hell?"
Blacky also chimed in and asked, "Yeah, I would like to know too? What the fuck is Neon Hell?"
Along with the looks on Snow, Sky, and even Star Glitter's faces, they too seemed wanted to know what Neon Hell was.
So Mr. Brown then said to all of them, "What..you don't know what Neon Hell is? Well let me tell you...there's a pony living in Equestria here and you should not mess with him at all. Long story short...if he catches your soul off guard, whether you pissed him off or not, hell you don't even have to meet him to take your soul, he'll just do it at random and he'll take your soul and you two...well, you're going to a bad place. A bad place filled with the dammed souls and the worst things you will ever see in your entire lives I tell ya. Anyways, back to my lovely and sexy ass sister...I think I'm tired of waiting for you to come on to me...so instead I'm going to come on to you?"
Pink then looked a little confused and she then asked her brother, "What on Earth do you mean by that?"
Then at the bottom corner of her eye, she thought she saw something. She thought she saw something slowly ever growing and was a bit curious as to what it could be. So she slightly moved her head downwards and then finally realized with her eyes widen as to what it was. It was her Brother's big, smelly, fleshy, spineless horse penis.
It was so big, long, and hard. It was twitching and it was aching for sex and for relieve. Pink then had her mouth agape and almost looked horrified and slowly look up to her brother. When she looked up, she saw her brother had a big, wide grin across his dirty and smug face.
Pink then said to her brother, "Oh you better not....or I swear you're going to regret it."
Mr. Brown then slowly got up from the ground and as he did, his big and long cock swung from his crotch. It was so long that even Pink thought that even if she wanted this to happen, it would be too much of a monster and it would rip her insides apart.
Mr. Brown then said to her sister as she was taken aback and looked like she was prepared to run away from her brother, "Bend over sis."
Pink then said simply, "No."
Mr. Brown then said, but with more of an aggressive tone, "BEND OVER NOW YOU BITCH!"
Pink then said, "No!"
As she said that, she quickly tried to get up from the ground and tried to run away, but she was a fraction of a second too late as her brother grabbed her with all his might and strength and said with a smile, "Oh where are you going...we're going to have us some little fun tonight ya'll hear! We're going to try out all three holes...first let's try out the classic side first!"
As Mr. Brown got a good hold on her sister, Pink was struggling along with kicking and fussing, but she didn't have enough strength to get her brother off her and so she was forced into being raped and along with incest as well.
So what happened next was that Mr. Brown pushed her sister forward and into a bending position so he got a good look of a view of her ass. As this was going on, the rest of the group was unaffected by this with the exception of Sky, as they were not too surprised this would happen.
They have witnessed rape and murder before, hell I'm sure they even witnessed a musical called Raped and Murdered before at some point I bet. Well, Mr. brown got a good look at her sister's ass cheeks and slowly licked his smiling lips. And so he slowly took the other hoof that was holding his sister down and slowly spread Pink's ass cheeks wide as he could...and the more that the ass cheeks revealed, the harder and hornier he got.
Eventually he saw two holes, one hole that had shit come out along with other things I bet, and the other one was the female genitals, but this pussy looked a little bit wet to him.
Seeing that second hole wet made him so excited for what he was going to do next to her sister and then he said to Pink, "It looks like you're excited too huh sis? Why didn't you say you wanted your brother to fuck you...I've been starving out here for some pussy!"
Pink then said, "I'm not you son of a bitch! Now get your fucking fat hooves off me or else I'm going to fucking kick your ass when this is over!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Now don't worry sweet cheeks...this is only going to take a second...and trust me, you're going to like what you're going to feel deep inside of you. And once I'm in deep in your other hole, you're going to be begging me to make you cum and to fuck you so hard that I made some scrambled eggs out of your ovaries."
Pink then said sarcastically, "Oh ha ha...do you use that as pick up lines when you try and find whores to fuck?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Yeah...I've used it before, and trust me all I've got in return is slaps to my mouth with no appreciation for quality pick up lines."
Pink then said "Oh give me a break."
Mr. Brown then said, "Now don't worry...I will be going to go slow and gentle at first..but then we're going to be picking up the speed as we go along with this whole shebang ya hear me? Ready now sis? Ready for me to give you a ride of your life? Ready to...have me do the innie and the outie!? ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO FUCK YOU!?"
Pink then responded with, "NO!"
Mr. Brown then said, "I heard a yes!"
Then Mr. Brown slowly and easily penetrated his sister's vagina. Pink didn't feel much, if anything it felt like what normal sex was to her as the cocks that entered her were average length and girth. But her brother was special, as his cock wasn't just any normal cock, but instead it was the special porn type of cocks.
Those type of cocks that look unrealistically big and should not even happen at all. So in better words, what Pink was feeling was only the tip of Mr. Brown's cock. Soon Mr. Brown started to get bored and felt like he was going to go soft at some point if he didn't amused himself anytime soon. So he put it into full gear and went full fucking force and shoved his big meaty cock all the way inside of her. However he felt a little sad as he reached the end of her pussy and couldn't fit his entire cock inside of her, but it was roughly about ninety percent all the way in there, so it would have to do for him. And after Mr. Brown had himself all the way that he could fit inside of Pink, he immediately started to quickly thrust in and out repeatedly.
As he was fucking her, Pink felt a massive pain, but yet at the same time a weird sense of pleasure at the same time. It was a warmth of pleasure in a sense that she felt and as if she wanted this to happen, but that was her natural sexual instincts talking to her as she hasn't been touched in years by another stallion. Instead she went back to thinking with her mind and she kept telling herself that she didn't want this and that she was going to make her brother pay for what he was doing to her and her privates.
However she couldn't help but feel that she wanted to enjoy every moment of her brother screwing her. She even started to think twice about all of what was happening to her and that she thought for a brief moment that her brother was kind of hot, but she then went back to the thought of beating Mr. Brown to a bloody pulp after he was finished with her. And so Mr. brown continued to rape his sister furiously and started to take all of his stress out on to her. Mr. Brown was moaning with joy and was screaming to the tip of his lungs to the pleasure he was receiving from this particular sex act that he was performing.
Mr. Brown then said, "Woo weee! This is fun isn't it! It's more fun than what we would have on the farm with the pigs! Makes me wish I have a gas mask on right now while I'm doing you sis! It sure would make this a lot more fun, just like what I did to the chickens when I was ten and when I got my first erection! I was so turned on that night that I literally fucked three chickens to death all at once! Then I fucked the chicks too! They enjoyed it as I fucked their little brains out! Then I served the remains to you and ma for breakfast that morning! Oh yeah! I'm having more fun than when I fucked my own banjo! Nothing sure beats a good fucking than an ice cold lemonade with piss in it! Remember that one time when I pissed in your drink and I made you drink it sis! Huh! Do ya?! Oh yeah that was the best time of my life!
'I don't want this moment to end at all! I want to fuck your brains out and when your brains is out, I want to take that and fuck that too! Fuck yeah! I bet you weren't expecting this huh sis!? Well don't worry your brother has you covered...because we're family...don't you know!? Oh yeah...when I'm finished with you, you're going to be nothing but a bitch filled with cum inside of her and you're going to be on your knees begging me for more of my special crème that shoots out of my cock! Did you get what I said sis!? It's cum! I fucking shoot out fucking cum sis! That's what guys do! THEY FUCKING CUM SEMEN!
'I'll even sing the ABC's for ya! A is for A pussy for me! B is for a Bitch that is begging for my cock! C is for my Cock is going to fucking screw you! D is for Don't fucking move or else I'll cut you bitch! E is for Ere going to be next when I decide to fuck next time! F is for Fuck yeah! G is for God damn you're a hot piece of shit bitch! H is for Hot cum is going to be filling you up tonight you cunt! I is for I'm going to fucking fuck you all the night fucking long! J is for Joking around is ok with me! K is for Kock! L is for Let me fuck you and blow your mind bitch! M is for My cock up your anus! N is for Necrophilia is something that I did one time with Grandma! O is for Oh my stars, I'm fucking you! P is for Puuuuuuuuusssssy! Q is for...well I'm not sure what Q is for but the letter looks like a hole that I can fuck. R is for Right now you're fucking fucked! S is for Shove my cock up your ass and let's do anal!
'T is for Turn around after this so I can fuck your face! U is for Uranus! V is for Vagina! W is for What's my name bitch!? Say my name while I'm fucking ya! It'll make me cum more harder than ducks on a Tuesday! Just call me your daddy because incest is fucking hot and it's fun to pretend that I'm your daddy! X is for...well I'm not sure what X is other than hearing that girls have X somewhere inside their bodies or something! I think it's what makes you a lady or something...I don't know...I failed Kindergarten! Y is for You are fucked! And Z is for Zebras are the one that did it! Oh yeah baby...I think I'm done with your pussy..let's try something more experimental."
And all I have to say about that part is that...well to be fair, 9/11 was borderline experimental. That's all that needs to be said for now until the Muzzies come around wanting to blow up shit again. It's just as borderline experimental as the Holocaust was.
Anyways, Mr. Brown took his big slong out of his sister's pussy hole and let it breath for a bit and to give Pink a break. As Pink was being fucked though, she did started to feel that she wanted more, that she wanted to cum real bad. But still she fought the urge to fuck and instead accepted the urge to beat her brother up to the brink of death.
So Mr. Brown was about to do anal with his sister, but he stopped himself and talked a little before he did so.
Mr. brown said, "You know what sister, this is so much fun. I'm feeling better already and I'm so glad you're helping me get some pussy tonight. Aren't you enjoying this little moment that we're having right now sis?"
Pink then responded with, "I would be lying if I said yes. If anything, I'm going to enjoy breaking your teeth in and cutting your balls off and shoving it up your ass so the next time you shit, you shit balls!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Don't worry honey, you're going to enjoy this at some point before I cum my seed inside of you. And by the way I look forward to you shoving my balls up my ass...sounds real good too and feels like a weird sexy and kinky thing to do. I hope you're planning on doing some BDSM for round two! I'm going to be a bad boy after this and I'm going to be needing a rough spanking! Also, if you get pregnant, just make sure to get an abortion, we're too poor for cheap birth control pills. But when you do get fetus out of you honey, make sure you bring it to me, I might want to fuck it later. Now how about I start shoving my 'little' penis up your pooper...because that's where your poop comes out. You get it!? That's where you defecate out you fucking whore! That's where your shit comes out when you go to the fucking bathroom! Isn't that ironic that instead of something coming out, my huge cock is going to go up inside of it!? That's kind of funny to me too! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Pink then said back to her brother that was preparing to shove his big, long, hard cock up her asshole, "Yeah yeah, yeah, we get it...you're a fucking idiot that thinks this shit is funny and you're going to shove your dick up my asshole. Now will you just get it over with already so I can start beating your fucking ass. We don't have all night you know?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Yeah yeah yeah, I know...you don't have to start fucking nagging to me and go on and on like that you bitch. Now I hope you're ready for some of my big john tonight to enter up your fucking pooper, because your anal passage is about to be fucking ripped apart...but perhaps we should start small first. Let me start with an appetizer and shove my hoof in their first so you get a little sneak peak as to what you're going to take RIGHT UP YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE! WOOOOOOOO!!"
And as this was going on, the rest of the group was still sitting there, minding their own business. Of course with Sky, he was disgusted at the sight of incest, but he stopped himself and remembered that this is the kind of world that he lives in. This is what he has to get used to seeing if he wants to toughen up. This world is filled with lies and incest and disgusting sights as well, so he considered this a first baby step in the right direction of getting used to the whole world, even if it was rare to see two family members fucking each other.
And so, Sky started to pay attention to the whole thing, even if it was starting to smell. As for the others, they were just staring at the two siblings and wondering why in the fucking hell was it happening in front of them in the first place since it did seem a bit unusual to see a brother and a sister screwing each other...or at the very least a brother raping his sister.
So right before Mr. Brown was going to rape his sister analy, more than likely without any Vaseline, let alone raping his grandma without any Vaseline, he said to his sister, "Alrighty then sis, get ready for my big, bulging, aching cock to enter your hole that you poop out of."
Pink then was a bit confused and asked, "Weren't you going to use your hoof first?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Oh yeah..forgot...I was just so excited for my big penis to enter your asshole that I forgot."
Mr. Brown then put his free and open hoof by his sister's asshole and put a little bit inside for a start.
Mr. Brown then said to Pink, "Are you ready sis?"
Pink then said, "Well you just get the fuck on with it already...you're taking forever back there!"
And then Mr. Brown then said with a mild voice, "Well...you don't have to be a bitch about me raping you then. HERE WE GO!"
And then Mr. Brown proceeded to slowly, and very hard I might add, shoving his entire hoof down his sister's anal passage. To Pink, she was in so much pain. Her mouth was wide open and started to scream a little as her anal passage was being expanded so quickly, so slowly, but yet it turned her own even more.
However she then quickly thought back to wanting to kick Mr. Brown's ass and continued to resist the idea of enjoying this sexual moment that her brother was having with her. However, after she had resisted the thought, she then quickly came up with an idea that seemed a little bit fun to her.
So she then started to moan instead of her usual screaming and said to her brother, "OH YES....YES BROTHER! I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. DON'T STOP!"
Mr. Brown then said with a redneck smile, "I told ya the ladies can't resist me and my charm that my dick gives off! That's the spirit sis! Acting the same way that Ma did!"
After Mr. Brown had said that, Blacky then looked over to TF and said to him, "I'm starting to become worried about these two the more that they don't bicker and argue with each other. It was better when they didn't even speak at all."
However Mr. Brown didn't hear Blacky's comment and continued to concentrate on his sister's asshole as he was pushing back and forth with his hoof, ever expanding the asshole so it could fit his big and huge slong inside of her.
Pink eventually said, "OH YES BROTHER! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! PUT YOUR BIG FUCKING COCK INSIDE MY ASS RIGHT NOW AND FILLED IT UP WITH CUM! I WANT YOUR DIRTY FUCKING SEED RIGHT NOW! I WANT YOU TOFUCK ME LIKE YOU DO WITH YOUR FRENCH GIRLS!"
Mr. Brown then was taken aback by what she said and was surprised that she was really getting into this, but he always did like it when mares obeys his every wish and went above and beyond past his expectations when it came to sex in the bed...or anywhere for that matter. Hell, I'm sure he would go crazy if one of the mares that he screw would force a squirrel to give him a blow job so he can bust the squirrel's nuts.
So Mr. Brown then said, "Well I never did fuck any French girls! I don't even know what French is! But I'll roll with it and pretend that I did fuck some French girls in the past by creating false memories that I did such an nice thing! Anyways, hold on to your horses now you fucking bitch...I'm not going to cum inside your asshole...that would be just disgusting." Pink then asked in a sexy tone with a hint of a horny voice that you hear on a sex talk line, "And why not baby? Why can't you give me your precious jizz? I want all of that JAZZ inside of me. Incest turns me on."
I had no idea why Pink said the word Jazz to her brother as she was being fucked by her brother. Maybe it meant...that...this whole thing was like...jazz to her or something...I don't know...inbred hicks are weird. The regular hicks are fine though, but the inbred ones...yeesh...especially the ones in Missouri...don't get me started talking about those people.
Anyways, Mr. Brown then said to her, "BECAUSE...I'M GOING TO THRAOT FUCK YOU LATER AND YOU'RE GOING TO EAT IT ALL THEN!!! BUT FIRST LET'S GET THAT POOP HOLE OF YOURS SETTLED FIRST WITH SOME NICE FUCKING DICK, PRESCRIBED BY DOCOTR WINGS HIMSELF!"
SMEWHERE BACK IN STALIA.....
Doctor Wings then came the fuck out of nowhere and said, "What? I'm an asshole......and a doucebag...what do you expect?" Then Doctor Wings walked off...
BACK TO TF'S GROUP...
I'm not sure where that part came from...possibly some weird white guy hired by Morgan Freeman did that.
Anyways, Mr. Brown then slowly placed the tip of his cock on the edge of Pink's asshole and then said to her before getting to the main act, "Any last words before MY SLONG RIPPS YOUR ASSHOLE TO PIECES AND TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN NO LOGNER SIT DOWN AND SHIT AS WELL!?"
Pink then said, oddly enough still in a sexy tone, "Oh yes...I've been waiting for so long waiting for your fucking cock! Just give it to me already before I fucking cum already!"
Mr. Brown then said, "I like the way you talk...wish you had more spunk though...but it'll do though. Well, let's get this show on the road now!"
And so Mr. Brown easily pushed his big cock into his sister's asshole. It wasn't as he expected since he did put his hoof deep inside his sister's asshole, as his cock was still was having some trouble getting inside. however, doing the thing with his hoof from earlier certainly made it somewhat easy to do anal with his sister. And so Mr. Brown slowly pushed in and out of the asshole as much as he could. He got immense pleasure from it too, as it enveloped his cock with a warm and lovely sense. He loved it so much that it meant a lot to him, he might not be able to hold it all in and have his sister give him a good ol' fashioned blow job too.
However he was a Stallion, and so he was determined to perform better than his father did on his pet dog when he was nine years old. He pushed forth and did the best he could to hold his cum in, although for a bit while raping his sister, he thought he got some shit on his dick. But that was fine because his sister was going to suck his cock and not him. To Pink however, she was screaming with pure pleasure, enjoying every second of him raping her and it got to the point where she wanted to cum too, but deep down she knew she was strong enough to hold it all in.
However her pussy said otherwise as it kept getting wetter and wetter and to the point she just wanted to masturbate in front of her brother and make her cum herself. However she kept it all in as she wanted this moment to last longer than Toby McGuire's career. And so she held all the urges to cum, but she might have queefed inside on to a little rat that was under her pussy instead. And when the rat took the smell in from her queef, the rat died right then and there. And so Mr. Brown continued to rape her analy and by far it was the best experience that he ever has had in his entire life. He just didn't want this pure moment that was filled with pleasure and ecstasy to end. He felt like himself was being fucked to the heavens.
And for a brief moment, he imagined himself as Princess Twilight Sparkle and that she was fucking a cloud...twice. As if her only purpose to becoming an alicorn in the first place was to fuck a cloud and have a threesome with Rainbow Dash and the cloud. He had closed his eyes and imagined himself being Twilight and having the cloud fuck him while he was raping his sister analy.
And in his little fantasy, the cloud came inside of him or her...or whatever...and him or her and Rainbow Dash both had cloud babies and had to live in the cloud trailer park because the cloud couldn't afford child support. And then the said cloud was on a TV show called Cloud Cops and was taken away to Cloud Prison where he got raped in the ass by another cloud. Then Mr. Brown opened up his eyes and remembered that he was still fucking his sister in the asshole and thought to himself that he would think of one more fantasy before he went on to the final part of the sex act.
Mr. Brown closed his eyes one last time and imagined himself that he was a little boy. A little boy that was in some strange new world. And then there was just a giant Chicken Cat Dog thing standing right next to him.
It towered him by a mile and looked down upon him and said to the him, the little boy, "Not without my anus...go ahead little boy...climb inside my anus and we can both have magical adventures. Oh My!"
And in his fantasy of his, Mr. Brown then said to the Chicken Cat Dog Thing, "I sure will Mr. Guardian!"
And so he fantasized that he was climbing aboard and straight into the beast's anus and felt warm and happy while inside the Chicken Cat Dog's anus... it felt like a place where it felt familiar to him...as if he was sort of a baby and that he was in his mother's womb. And then...his fantasy ended and it went to a vague memory of him being born, where it was all nothing but darkness, but then he saw a slit of light and was then born. Then...for a few seconds, his life flashed before his eyes before he oddly enough pictured a big stack of sexy pancakes that he had his dick in. And then he pictured it to where he was fucking the pancakes.
Then those said pancakes turned into pancake hoes and started to suck on his big and long slong. And then he realized...it was time to get to the final act of his little sexy adventure with his sister.
So Mr. Brown opened his eyes big and wide and screamed to the top of his lungs for no particular reason at all and then said to his sister in a very much happy tone, "TIME TO CHANGE SIS!"
Then out of nowhere, one of the cannibals from the nearby group said, "Can...can I join in with you guys in whatever you're doing? We-we can hear all the way from down there and it-it sounds like a lo-lot of fun."
Mr. Brown then said to the kind cannibal, "FUCK OFF YOU EATING PONY SON OF A BITCH!"
And Pink then said, "YEAH...FUCK OFF!"
And then the nice and friendly cannibal looked a little said and then started to cry a little and before he left, he then said to them all, "I'll have you know...I was born from a bitch!"
And then the kind and caring young cannibal ran away crying his eyes out...possibly because she was driving him crazy or something.
Anyway, Mr. Brown then said, "So I'm going to take my cock out of your asshole, the place that you go poopy and shit...and you're going to be a good girl and turn around so I can stick my cock into your mouth...got it!?"
Pink then questioned Mr. Brown, "But why though? We were having so much fun. Can't you just go back to fucking my puuuuussssy? I really enjoyed it when you were fucking me so hard like that when you were fucking my pussssy. Can't you do it for your sister?"
Mr. Brown rolled his eyes up and thought for a moment about what she had said. However after thinking for a few seconds about it, he then came to the conclusion and denied her suggestion.
Instead, he said, "SORRY BITCH...BUT YOUR TIME IS UP FOR THAT HOT HOLE OF YOURS! YOU HAD YOUR TIME BUT INSTEAD ALL YOU DID WAS COMPLAIN AND WHINE AND BITCH ABOUT ME HAVING INCEST RELATED SEX WITH YOU! SO NOW QUIT YOUR MOANING AND TURN AROUND BEFORE I START TO SLAP A BITCH A FEW TIMES YOU FUCKING CUNT!"
And so Mr. Brown took out his wiener quickly so his sister could turn around. Mr. brown then got on to his two hind legs and kept balance by holding one hoof on his sister's head. However when Mr. Brown turned around, he looked down to his dick and saw that there was a piece of corn sticking to it.
Then he said to himself, "Ewwww......"
Then he looked back up to his see his sister facing him and had her face closed to his dick and said to her, "YOU'RE ONE DISGUSTING FUCKING BITCH YOU KNOW THAT!? CAN'T YOU FUCKING CLEAN YOUR ASSHOLE EVERY NOW AND THEN BEFORE I GO FUCKING YOU!?"
Mr. Brown then said with a big smile across his face, "AND THEY SAY...EVERY MARE DESERVES A GOOD SMACK ACROSS THEIR FACE!"
And so Mr. brown then raised his left hoof high up into the air, giving it a few seconds of air time. Then, when he had enough potential energy, he released it all and went straight across Pink's face, which then made oddly enough a lout clap sound. I'm not sure how it didn't make any other sound since this isn't human skin we're talking about and other factors to take in and such, but it did make a loud clap sound just so you are aware of such lively detail.
And so, as Mr. Brown's left hoof went across his sister's face, he then used the same hoof and went backwards and gave his sister another good slap across the face, this time being the opposite direction. And then as some blood started to come out of Pink's mouth, she received one more good smack across the face before her brother stopped hitting her.
Mr. Brown then said, "LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAY...EVERY BITCH NEEDS A GOOD SMACK! AND EVERY BITCH NEEDS A HUGE COCK IN THEIR MOUTHS TOO! SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND START SUCKING!"
And so, Pink then slightly opened her mouth. it wasn't a big hole at first as she somewhat hesitated as this was her first time sucking a cock. She wasn't too much of a fan of the musky scent that came off from her brother either.
If anything, it smelled like a dead skunk was just ran over by a Tonka truck that was being sent to a concentration camp filled with Korean Children that wanted to fuck a frog, but were forbidden to do so because they all had AIDs and so they ended up just defecting to the country of Georgia and got raped by a bear. However, deep within her feminine body, she started to get sexually aroused by her brother's smelly scent, as it turned her hormones on and she wanted to go down on him like a polar bear going down on a deer during rutting season.
And so before she opened her mouth a little wider, she looked up to see her brother and saw Mr. Brown looking very impatient towards her. It was as if he was going to be upset if she wasn't going to be sucking his dick soon that he was going to go on a killing spree. And so, after looking at the impatient brother, Pink opened her mouth wider than she had it before. However it wasn't enough as Mr. Brown wanted more...he wanted to stick his entire slong down her fucking throat and have every square inch of his big cock become covered in her saliva.
So while still keeping balance, Mr. Brown then took one hoof and somehow grabbed a hold of Pink's bottom jaw and forced it all the way down without breaking it. And doing so, he made the hole as big as it was going to get. And so as his dick was still stiff, he slowly shoved his big cock down her throat. However it wasn't all at once at first as her throat felt tight. Mr. Brown knew that she did not get any practice in at all when it came to oral sex.
However he was willing to forgive his sister because to him, his sister is more of an anal whore than a mouth whore. And so Mr. Brown then proceeded to put a little more down her throat every time he went back in and out. As he was doing that, Pink on the other hand started to feel like she couldn't do it. She felt like her brother was way too big for her mouth to even take and that she was going to choke to death before he was finished with her. However, he knew she needed to do this, she needed to do this because she had a little surprise for him at the end of their banging.
And so Pink forced herself to take him all in, however it wasn't easy at first. Since she was new, her back throat wasn't relaxed and so she tensed up a bit and ended up start to gag on his cock. However Mr. Brown enjoyed the pleasure of hearing his sister gag and beg for some air, so he did the exact opposite and continued to fuck her throat like a slut.
However, it wasn't too easy to do so since she kept gagging, but it only made him hornier. So what ended up happening next was that it started to drive Mr. Brown mad. That she was gagging and choking on his big, long, hard cock. And oddly enough, Pink was starting to become sexually aroused to the point where she couldn't control it.
She was receiving pleasure just by sucking on her brother's cock, so with one hoof, she started to try to masturbate in front of her brother. Upon Mr. Brown seeing this as he could tell his sister was trying to jerk it, it made it all the more exciting to continue to fuck her face.
So he pushed it even harder and couldn't wait to cum down her tight little throat. And so as the two did their own thing, the others watched and still had nothing to comment on. However Sky at this point started to close his eyes and looked away as he was not prepared, not ready for such a sight. And so as Mr. Brown continued to shove his big cock in and out of his sister's mouth, he stared to feel like he was going to crack at some point.
He felt like he couldn't hang on to the pleasure for much longer. He was going to explode with white hot semen down her throat at some point, but he wanted the feeling of pleasure to last forever and ever. However of course he was disappointed by the fact that reality did not work that way in that world that he was living in and he would have to cum eventually. And as Mr. brown was nearing his climax, Pink on the other hand was almost there to reaching hers. She was enjoying every second of sucking and covering her brother's dick in her sloppy, wet drool. She got a kick out of hearing her own sucking sounds and the way she choked on it.
She was enjoying it so much to the point that she started to moan with pleasure. Every moan that came from her mouth, Mr. Brown only wanted to cum even harder and faster. As for Pink, she was nearly there, she was enjoying every second of it...and then...she came. She reached her climax and as she still had the dick inside her mouth, she screamed nonetheless as she had her orgasm and her own cum came out everywhere on the ground.
However the smell to it though was terrible and even TF started to get a little disgusted by the sight and smell of the love juices that sprayed from the two. And as for Mr. Brown, well, just hearing his sister orgasm just for his cock put him over the edge and so he came as well. When it happened, it happened in a flash as large amounts of semen entered Pink's throat.
It just kept coming and coming as the hot white sticky fluid filled her stomach up to the point where if she had a complete meal of some kind with lots of nutrients in it. The amount of cum she had to swallow eventually ended and for Mr. Brown, it was an enjoyable experience. He had never felt something like that before in all of his sex life.
However before he pulled out of her mouth, he let two or three drops come out. And after he felt like he was completely finished, his once stiff dick started to go limp and so it came out of Pink's mouth very easily. There was no mess made aside from Pink's own cum, so Pink's mouth was completely clean as pie from the germs that came from Mr. Brown's own cock, which more than likely had fecal matter all over it from shoving his cock up her asshole and from other pony's assholes as well in the past.
It also had a piece of corn in it as well. And I'm sure all the guys that she has screwed in the past and did anal with also had pieces of corn stuck on their dicks...perhaps so much corn that it looked like corn on the cob...or more or less corn on the cock.
Anyways, Pink at first had a terrible taste from the cum that she was holding in her mouth. However she then slowly came to enjoy the taste as her sexual nature from within started to take hold. And as she was going back and forth between trying to keep it together and just simply enjoying the sex, she played with the cum with her tongue. She swirled around, gargled it a little. She even swished it back and forth and tried to enjoy the salty taste of her brother's cum. it was very creamy to her as the texture was scrumptious for her. Then , she swallowed it all in one big sexy gulp.
Mr. Brown heard the small, slight noise of her swallowing, and he just couldn't help but have a little smile upon his face and said, "OH YEAH BITCH...YOU SWALLOWED IT. YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY SWEET FUKING JIZZ! WELL JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S PLENTY MORE OF WHERE THAT CAME FROM!"
Then Mr. Brown looked down at the ground and saw Pink's pussy and how it had cum dripping.
Mr. brown continued to have a smile and said, "Hey...you're going to eat that?"
And so Mr. Brown got as low to the ground as he could and started to lap up the remains of what once was inside of Pink's private area. He even took the liberty to licking Pink's pussy up nice and clean from her own cum and enjoyed every drop of it. Pink enjoyed the feeling a little that her brother was cleaning up a mess, eating her cum...but at the same time it felt a little bit weird.
After Mr. brown was finished, he got up from the ground and licked his lips one last time with a smile and said to his sister, "Now that was some good cum. I mean, it's even better than mine."
Pink gave a little smirk to him, a cute little smirk that Mr. Brown felt amusing and comforting to him. It was a small little smirk that felt warm to him. Then that smirk turned into a smile. A kind of smile that you see only twice in your life.
That kind of a smile that you only see in the movies, but yet it can be within reality as well. But it would be one of those rare smiles that you will come across four or five times in life, but it's rare.
More rare than peace in a sense. And peace only comes around when everyone stops giving a damn about their own needs and starts to look into the distance to see everything else.
Pink then gave that kind of smile to Mr. Brown and in response, Mr. Brown said to his sister as the two got a little closer to each other's face, "Well now..didn't I say my dick was good?"
Pink then said in her usual southern accent, "Yes you did. At first you surprised me and I wanted to just bite your dick off...but you showed me your sexual side...so I showed mine too."
Mr. Brown then said, "And I do love that sexual side to you too babe. I LOVE IT!!!"
Pink then said, "Yes well...it was either resist all feelings of sex or take it for what it is and just go with it. And I'm glad I decided to say fuck it and enjoy the sex for once. Every girl needs to live a little doesn't she?"
Mr. Brown then said, "And every girl also needs to ride my fucking cock. So...should we do it again sometime?"
Pink then said, "Oh just thinking about it brother, doing it with you again is just making me horny. Yes...yes we should do it again sometime."
Mr. Brown then said, "Then we should do it when this is all over and do it on top of our parent's graves."
Pink then said as she got even closer, as her lips was getting really close to her brother's lips, which oddly enough to her it smelled of her cum and oddly enough she honestly enjoyed the pleasant smell from it.
Anyways, Pink then said to her brother, "Sounds delightful. I'm so glad you decided to rape me...Jack..."
And then Pink closed her eyes and started to lean in for a kiss from her brother. Mr. Brown was happy with what he was seeing and decided to go along with it as well and closed his eyes too. He started to lean in and what seemed like just a quick few seconds of preparing for a kiss, it felt like it was hours to him. Love was sort of in the air around him. He was feeling it in the air tonight. This was a moment that he felt like he didn't want to end at all. In fact, he started to like the idea of kissing in general and thought to himself that he needed to rape more...even if it was an animate object while drunk, he could pretend it was enjoying it then.
As for what was rushing through his mind before that faithful kiss you might ask? Well let's just say he was about to get it on again...right before nothing happened. He wondered why he didn't feel the lips of his lover slash sister. Perhaps Pink was a bit shy? But then Mr. Brown opened his very eyes, slowly and then what he saw in front of him was a pair of angry eyes that were on fire.
Then he looked at the whole picture and his sister then said with a furious face, "I'm going to kick your fucking ass for you raping me. And I'm going to enjoy it too."
Then Mr. brown then said to himself, "Uh oh..."
And so, Pink looked the angriest that she had ever been in her life and got ready to beat down on her brother for raping her, despite what pleasure she might have gotten from it. All she did was put on an act to get his hopes up and have his ego rise, all to just break and burn at the very end. To her, it will more than satisfy seeing her brother lose all hope, it will make her the happiest she had ever been since the day she fucked a squirrel up the ass with a pinecone. I'm guessing it was a strap on.
Anyways, then Mr. Brown looked a bit worried and stumbled a bit on his back hooves as he tried to get away from his sister that he had just raped.
However Pink wasn't going to have him run away just like that. So she quickly reacted to her brother trying to run away from her by jumping on top of him and sad out loud, "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED THIS TOUGH AND ROUGH SEX BABY!? WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!"
Mr. Brown then replied with, "No! No! Not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!!!"
The last sentence, Mr. Brown's voice started to crack. And so Mr. Brown was completely on his back as Pink was on top and it was all going her way. So Pink positioned herself quickly and got up a little bit, as if she was doing it cowgirl style, except not riding Mr. Brown's Cock. Instead she was on his stomach and got both of her hooves ready. She then swung her right hoof and punched her brother across the face.
Then she altered with her left hoof and punched even harder than the last punch across Mr. Brown's face. And then she repeated the process several times until blood was coming out of both of his nostrils and mouth and started to feel the pain. However, Mr. Brown tried to fight back a little and punched his sister in the face. However it only stunned Pink a little and pissed her off even more. She then looked to the ground and found a decent sized rock. She then swiftly took the rock that was near her and started to pound her brother's face in. Soon there was more than just blood, but dirt and a little dust as well that was covering Mr. Brown's face.
The rock even started to leave marks as well on his already beaten face. However Mr. Brown still wasn't going to end up like this so he punched his sister even hard this time, just enough to get her off of him and have Pink fall on her back. Mr. Brown then got up and tried to run away, but Pink quickly picked herself up and jumped on him again, this time his stomach being on the ground. Pink then used both of her hooves and took hold of Mr. Brown's head and then started to bang it into the ground as hard as she could.
Soon a small tooth fell out of Mr. Brown's mouth and more blood came out as well. However Pink started to feel like she was about lose some energy and felt like calling it quits. So as for one final punch and for a satisfying finisher for her, she then forced her brother's face straight into the grounds and started to smother him with the earth. For a bit, Mr. Brown couldn't breathe and was starting to get desperate for a gasp of air.
Soon he felt the cool air flowing back into his lungs once more as Pink got off of him and as Mr. Brown slowly got up. But Pink felt like she wasn't done yet. She thought for a moment that her brother said he needed a spanking earlier. So a little idea came across her mind and it put a little smile on her face. A little smirk to be exact and when Mr. Brown got on to his back, he then saw her sister's evil little smirk and he started to feel like this wasn't going to end well for him.
He then said to his sister, "Sis...I don't like that look on your face. Now don't go off doing something irrational now you hear!?"
Pink then said with a smile, "Irrational? Oh but dear brother...you have been a bad boy for raping me tonight. What was that you said earlier? That you needed to be spanked because you've been a bad boy? Well...looks like you do deserve a spanking. TURN OVER YOU PIG!"
Pink had said those last words with anger in her heart and tone. As Mr. Brown heard those words, he made a little squeaking sound and tried to resist turning over, but his sister wasn't having it. So Pink used all of her strength and she then made him turn over and when she did, she saw her brother's dirty butt cheeks, and she was going to make sure it wouldn't be fun for him.
So she then said to Mr. Brown, "You've been such a bad boy tonight BROTHER! YOU NEED TO LEARN A LESSON!!! HERE COMES THE SPANKING!!!"
And So Pink raised her right hoof as high as she could in the air and brought it straight back down on her brother's ass. Once her hoof made contact with Mr. Brown's dirty ass, it stung like a bitch to him and made a little wimping sound for a reaction to it.
And so Pink repeated the act several more times but as she was doing so, she kept saying to her own brother, "OH YEAH!!! YOU'VE BEEN A BAD FUCKING BOY TONIGHT YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU NEED A GOOD FUCKING SPANKING! HOW ABOUT I SING MY VERSION OF THE ABC'S!"
So Pink then said as she kept spanking her brother hard, "A is for A boy is going to get punished tonight! B is for Boy are you in trouble! C is for Cutting off your cock so I can burn it! D is for Dildos are better than you in every way possible! E is for your Ears are going to be fucked next time when this shit happens again! F is for Fucking with me, you get the fucking hammer and sickle! G is for God is going to send you to Neon Hell! H is for Hell is where you belong mister! And don't say it, yes I'm going too, I've had my fair share of fucking killing faggots like you! I is for I will cut your balls off with a chainsaw because you have blue fucking balls! J is for Just going to rape you know! Isn't that what you wanted!? Huh!? A little BDSM!?
'K is for Kicking your fucking ass! L is for Limp dick! That's what your fucking cock was to me! I've had better cock from a duck then what you offered me! Duck's cocks are bigger than your yours, so despite what you did tonight, a duck is more of a stallion than you will ever be because of their big fucking cocks! M is for MY, you are FUCKED tonight! N is for Not letting the past go! I still remember the times before this when you tried to do this shit to me! O is for Oh my God you are Fucked! P is for Pussy son of a bitch! That's what you are! Q is for Quiver in fear! I'm here to beat your fucking ass tonight! R is for Rushing is what you did! Not only was our cock not big enough for me. You didn't give me much of a chance to enjoy that little itty bitty witty cock of yours! Most of the time I bet those whores back at the whore house hate how you rush things with them! You don't even have a stalionhood!
'S is for Shit is going to get real after I'm done spanking your ass! T is for Time to GET IT ON! U is for Uranus! V is for Virgins are more of a stallion than what you are you son of a bitch! W is for What do you think so far about me whipping your ass!? X is for XX and XY! Do you know the difference even! The two XX's are for females while XY is for Males! And sadly, you were born with the Y! I bet if you got the second X, we would at least be having some kinky lesbian fun! Y is for YOUR ASS IS MINE!!! And Z is for Zebras will rape you both in prison and in Neon Hell! Bitch!"
That last part where Pink said the word bitch to her brother, she had stopped spanking him and got very close to his Right ear and said those words very loudly so it would get through his thick skull. And when she said that word...that naughty word...she said it with a confident, stern tone towards Mr. Brown.
As for Mr. Brown however, he felt the pain of his ass being spanked constantly and over and over. It stung and turned his ass from its usual color to red, but yet, Mr. Brown was oddly enough laughing. At first he was giving off a small chuckle and eventually it grew into a giggle and transformed into a full out laughter feeling for him.
He was on the ground laughing and moving on the ground while doing so. While he was laughing, Pink gave off a confused look on her face as she didn't get what was happening.
But then she eventually asked her brother, "And what in the fucking hay is so funny!?"
Mr. Brown then said as he tried his best to stop laughing, "That was-Ha ha... what I said to you earlier! Ha ha ha ha ha....It's just too fucking rich...ha ha....and fucking ironic too! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! ... And the best part! I FUCKING ENJOYED IT BABAY! THAT THING STARTED TO ROCK MY WORLD AND IT FEELS LIKE MY FUCKING COCK IS GOING TO GET HARD AGAIN! THAT THING THAT YOU DID, THAT BDSM THING...IT TURNED ME ON AND I WANT TO FUCK AGAIN WITH YOU! I WANT TO START JACKING OFF TO YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? LET'S GTE IT ON AGAIN!"
And so Mr. Brown turned over to his back and to what Pink saw was her brother's enormous sized cock starting to grow hard again once more. And once she saw it grow even bigger than last time, she was shocked and appalled by the sight of it.
Then once it reached its maximum hardness and length, Mr. Brown slowly closed his eyes and had his right hoof reach down to his big cock and started to slowly rub up and down on it, trying to think of sexy things once more to try and get him off. Pink was disgusted and despite her efforts of teaching her brother a lesson, she only made it worse.
So she looked around and found a decent sized, length, and thick wooden stick to play with her brother. However, Pink wasn't quite sure what she could use the stick for, but then a dirty thought came to mind. A dirty thought that would possibly burst Mr. Brown's bubble that was filled with enjoyment and pleasure for him. And as Mr. Brown was jacking it, Pink picked up the stick with her mouth and brought it over near Mr. Brown's anus. In which case she then wrapped her left hoof around it and was able to get a decent grip on the thing.
In which case, she then said as Mr. Brown still had his eyes closed as she said with a small smile on her face, "Oooooooooh bbrooooooootherrrrrrrrr...open your FUCKING eyes..."
And with what Mr. Brown had heard from his sister, the sister that he wanted to fuck again so badly, he had a smile too as he kept his eyes shut and thought of that there might have been a sexy surprise waiting for him once he opened it.
He then said while still keeping his eyes shut, "Oh siiiiiiisterrrrrr....I think I'm going to like where this going."
Pink then finally said, "How about you open your FUCKING EYES and find out what I've got for you."
Mr. Brown then slowly opened his eyes and as he was he asked Pink, "What is it? I hope you got me a nice pair of anal beads and..."
Mr. Brown stopped in mid sentence and saw what his sister had in her possession. A big, wooden, stick, which was very durable as well.
His sister was holding it up in the air and she then said to her brother, "Since you gave anal to me...I'm going to give anal to you. You've been such a bad boy that you need to be punished somehow. Now....TURN OVER SO I CAN SHOVE THIS STICK UP YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!"
Mr. Brown suddenly didn't have a smile anymore and he then said to his sister, "I don't think I want to do that..."
Pink then said with a furious tone, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! YOU'RE MY BITCH NOW! AND BITCHES HAVE TO DO WHAT THEY ARE FUCKING TOLD OR ELSE THEY GET THEIR DICKS RIPPED OFF AND THEY HAVE BLUE FUCKING BALLS!!!"
Mr. Brown had wide eyes when she had said that to him and he immediately turned over on to his stomach and presented his ass to her.
He then said with a wimp tone, "Please don't make it too painful mistress."
Pink then said, "SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! YOU'RE MINE NOW AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT I SAY NOW! NOW SPREAD THOSE FUCKING ASS CHEEKS SO I CAN SEE THAT PRETTY FUCKING HOLE OF YOURS SO WE CAN START!"
And so Mr. Brown did as he was told and opened up his asshole to be seen by everyone, especially Sky who was still trying to hold it all in without running away and puking everywhere as to what he was seeing right now. Once Mr. Brown had his asshole showing to his sister, Pink decided to get a better grip on the stick and used her mouth instead. In which case she then started to shove a decent sized girth end of the stick down Mr. Brown's asshole. And at first, it wasn't so bad as Mr. Brown had thought as he started to experience the whole thing. It even started to feel kind of sexy and kinky and he wanted more of it.
But then Pink went full fucking force and shoved the stick as far as it could go up his anal passage. And once she did it, it was painful for Mr. Brown. The stick wasn't smooth of course and was very rough and dirty and most likely had lots of dirty germs that would give him a virus and kill him more than likely. It was so rough that it felt like his colon was fucked up and in his anus was going to bleed at some point. But that wasn't it though, as Pink still had a grip on the stick and so she slowly, roughly, as she was moving it a little bit but circling Mr. Brown's asshole, moved the stick in and out, back and forth again and again and again.
It was very painful for Mr. Brown and didn't' like it one bit. But then he started to get horny all of a sudden and he started to moan as her sister was giving him anal with a stick. However, Mr. Brown knew this moment would come one day when Pink would be on top and he would be the bottom bitch for one round of sex, but he had always imagined his sister giving him anal with a strap on instead of a wooden stick that she found out in nature instead.
However since the stick was improvised, it felt exciting to him and very kinky so he wanted more.
So Mr. Brown then yelled out, "OH YES PINK!!! DON'T STOP DOING IT! GIVE ME MOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEE!!! I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO MY FUKING ANUS! IT FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD THAT I WANT TO FUCKING CUM AGAIN"
However Pink had heard those loud words....obviously...and so she stopped and pulled the stick right out again and she then saw Mr. Brown with a big smile on his face as he turned his head around to look back at his sister again. However, she was determined to wipe that smug face off of Mr. Brown, so she then forced him back on his back side to get a good look at his cock once more.
As she was taking a good look at it and thinking of what she should do to it, Mr. Brown had then said to his sister, "What are you going to do next baby? Are you going to start sucking on my cock again? Because I would so love that! You could use the practice you know...for fucking deep throating cocks! My cock specifically!"
Pink then had a smile again and she then said to him as she raised the stick with her right hoof and had a better grip on it this time, "Oh no honey...I'm going to do something else that I know you'll hate. Just sit back and relax...and take it all fucking in."
And so Pink had the stick raised and as she had it raised over her brother's big slong, Mr. Brown was anticipating as to what she was going to do next with the stick...the magic stick that was. And so Pink, with a big smile on her face, went straight down into the little hole that located on the head of Mr. Brown's slong. And yes, that is a real thing that happened where Pink shoved the big stick up Mr. Brown's penis.
And as she was doing it, Mr. Brown was filled with immense pain and it hurt like a bitch. He was moaning and groaning as to how painful it was and Pink was satisfied as to how it was going for him.
She then said to him, "YOU GET IT BROTHER!? YOU GET IT FUCKING NOW!? YOU GET WHAT I'M FUCKING DOING TO YOU!? I'M SHOVING THIS STICK HERE UP YOUR PENIS! AND THAT'S RIGHT...I CALLED IT A FIUCKING A PENIS INSTEAD OF A DICK OR A FUCKING COCK! AND IT'S ALSO GOING UP YOUR URETHEA....ISN'T THAT FUCKING SWELL!"
However, the thing started to get a little crazy and...well...Pink then kind of stood up on her back two legs, opened up her pussy again, and shoved the other end of the stick down her pussy. However, instead of it being wet and such, there was only blood. In other words her pussy was bleeding as she was shoving the stick up there...I mean really shoving it up there, really hard. Even more hard than what Mr. Brown did earlier.
And she was sort of enjoying it but yet at the same time not really, but you could tell the blood was going everywhere and it was the foul order that came off of it as well that really made the whole thing just kind of disgusting in a sense.
And as she was doing this, she then said to her brother without looking, "SQUEAL FO ME PIGGY!!! SQUEAL!"
And Mr. Brown then said, "Reeeeeeeeee."
But after a while, Pink got tired of riding the stick and stopped right then and there...and the blood stopped coming out, although when it did come out, it landed on Mr. Brown's cock so his cock was covered in blood this time instead of salvia like last time. And as Pink was moving the stick up and down Mr. Brown's penis, the inside of the penis that is, Pink started to lose faith in what she was doing as she heard her brother moan again, but this time it was due to the pleasure he was receiving. He didn't mention it, but she looked back towards Mr. Brown's face and she could see a big ol' smile across his face and she could tell that Mr. Brown was enjoying the ever moment of pain he was receiving.
And so she looked around as she kept moving the stick up and down and found a convenient dildo sized rock right next to her and so she pulled the stick out and threw it to the side and went for the dildo sized rock. As for Mr. Brown, he was still on his back and enjoying what pleasure he was getting, but was confused as to why it all of a suddenly stopped. And so, he looked around and found that his sister was standing right next to him, right next to his head, holding the dildo sized rock in her hoof with a smile on her face.
Mr. Brown was confused and so he then asked her, "What are you going to do with that?"
Pink then said to him, "Well you have two holes...don't ya?"
And so Pink then immediately went for shoving it down his throat as if he was supposed to be sucking on it like a cock. Just like Pink however, Mr. Brown's throat was tight and he was gagging and coughing as the rock went down his throat and his head was on the ground and such. He couldn't handle it, but once again, he really was starting to enjoy it and it was getting him off as his big, long, hard slong was still erect and he was using his right hoof to slowly pleasure himself as he was sucking on the dildo sized rock. So, Pink saw this once again and she was still furious.
However, as Mr. Brown was still gagging and coughing up a storm as he was sucking on the hard rock, Pink was trying to think of something to get back at him. And then, she got the final idea. So she then took the rock out and threw it aside just like she did with the stick and went into her jacket...pocket thing...and pulled out a gun and aimed it at Mr. Brown's body. Mr. Brown saw this and then had wide eyes and his sense of pleasure suddenly disappeared.
He then said to his sister, "Look now sis, we can be reasonable here. You don't have to kill me and..."
Pink cut him off and then said to him, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH! YOU ARE MY BITCH AND YOU TALK WHEN I TELL YOU TO TALK! Now...since girls have three holes and boys only have two, I can't really do much with that...now can I?"
Mr. Brown then responded with, "Nope."
Pink then said, "Good...you know simple math. But I hope you can add because I'm making a fucking hole to fuck you with! Bitch!"
So as Mr. Brown was scared as to what was going to happen next and the others were waiting to see what would happen with Pink's next action, Pink then moved the gun and aimed at Mr. Brown's shoulder, more specifically his right one, and shot it. Thankfully though, the gun was just a small and simple handgun...hoofgun...whatever...and the bullet only went in so far when it did happen.
And once the bullet went in and the shot was fired, Mr. brown screamed with pain and then said, "OW! I didn't like that at all!"
Pink then replied with, "SHUT UP! Now...we're going to see how you like...this..."
And so Pink then opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue and started sticking it in the bullet wound. And so she started to lick everything that she could, inside and out, and she even tasted the bullet as well and pushed it even deeper as she went and licked the inside of the wounds. And of course, blood and pain was the name of the game. Mr. Brown was screaming with lots of pain to the top of his lungs as it was painful for his sister to play around with the serious wound. It even hurt a lot more as she kept messing with it and possibly would get it infected with some sort of disease. And as for Pink, she was enjoying the taste of his blood while doing so.
But eventually, she started hear the moans of pleasure once more and she soon stopped licking and gave up. As she got up from licking the inside of the bullet wound, she looked at her brother, annoyed and such, and Mr. Brown then asked his sister, "Why'd you stop baby? We were just getting to the good part where I get my second orgasm."
Pink then gave him one final good punch across the face.
Pink said to him, "IF YOU EVER DARE TRY TO RAPE ME AGAIN...I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR BALLS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!! YOU HEAR ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
Mr. Brown then responded with, "WELL FUCK YOU TOO BITCH! I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HAVE SOME FUN!"
Then Pink said to her brother, "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I HAE BEEN RAPED BEFORE AND IT WAS ACTUALLY FUN! BUT YOU! YOU'RE JUST SOME LOW LIFE TRASH PIECE OF SHIT THAT COULDN'T EVEN GET A JOB WHEN MA TOLD YOU WHEN YOU WERE SIXTEEN! INSTEAD ALL YOU DID ALL DAY WAS JERKED OFF AND SLEEP ALL DAY! SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!? YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF TOO!? YOU HEAR ME!? GO FUCK YOURSELF LIKE THE MOTHER FUCKER THAT YOU ARE YOU FUCKING CUNT ASS BITCH!"
Then Pink started to walk away and cool herself down from what just had happened to her and such. And as she was walking away, Mr. Brown responded with, "WELL I HOPE YOU GETS AIDS THEN...THE BAD KIND TOO!!!"
And as Pink was walking away, she then spat on the ground, along with keeping her angry face on as she walked into the dark distance to be by herself.
As for Mr. Brown, he got up, dusted himself off and silently shook his head and said as he was brushing himself off so he can sit down by the fire like the others, "Mmm mmm mmm...can you believe some ponies. I mean the nerve...am I right fellas?"
As he asked that question, the rest were looking at him and questioning as to what just happened. They were a bit confused because before it just seemed as if the two were just a typical brother and sister that fought. You know what I'm talking about, the whole sibling thing where they constantly fight and argue over things, the things that always happens and is more or less a natural thing really.
However, as soon as Mr. Brown started to rape his sister, they were a bit off put as it seemed to them that something else was happening. And along with them hearing their little talks between them fucking and fighting, it seemed to them that there was a little more to the story than they had previously thought. Even Sky was starting to change his perception of them from two siblings that fought and made him laugh a little, to two siblings that had a dark history that he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out or not.
And so as Mr. Brown was getting settled, Blacky asked him, "Can we ask you something Mr. Brown?"
Mr. Brown was taken a bit back with what he had asked, but at the same time wasn't against him asking a question, so he simply replied with, "Sure...why not? What is it?"
Blacky then asked the simple question, "What the fuck just happened and why does it involve incest?"
Mr. Brown was a bit speechless for a while. He felt like he was caught on the spot, but yet it didn't feel weird to him that he committed incest as it was normal for him and his way of life. If anything, he was confused as to why they were asking why he just raped his sister.
So, Mr. Brown then said, "I don't get. What are you trying to say to me right now?"
Then Blacky asked, "Mr. Brown...what you just did to your sister was very...uncommon. We are just confused as to why you just raped her is all. Can you explain that to us in any way possible? Because right now I'm shocked, TF is more or less curious, and as for Sky...well...I'm sure he's sick to his stomach right about now."
Sky then said, "Don't worry, I won't puke or anything. I can...take it. I just need some time to think about...things for a bit if you don't mind."
Blacky then said to Mr. Brown, "Well? We're waiting."
Mr. Brown then said, "You guys don't do that to your sister?"
Blacky then said with a tone, "NO! OF COURSE NOT! WHO IN THE NAME OF CLEESTIA WOULD DO THAT TO THEIR SIBLINGS IN THE FIRTS PLACE!?"
Then Mr. Brown said calmly, "Phh...then you have no idea how it is where I live."
Blacky then asked him, "Where do you live?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Live out in the middle of nowhere. A little house far from the nearest small town. It used to be me, my sis, Ma and Pa. But after Ma and Pa died, it was just me and my sis...well until we got a pup named courage that is."
Blacky then asked him, "So what? You rape both your sis and your dog while out in the middle no where I guess?"
Mr. Brown then said to him, "NO! I DON'T RAPE NO DOG AND SHIT! Look, stuff happened and me and my sis got...a little close."
TF then said, "A little too close if you ask me."
Mr. Brown looked at TF after he made his comment and took offense to that. He then said to him, "Well maybe you should try living in a shack that's built to shit for years. And besides, it's not like she'll get pregnant."
Blacky then asked him out of curiosity, "What? You just said earlier...never mind. Does she have a disease or something?"
Mr. Brown then said, "What? No...It's just that one time when I raped her, I fucked her so hard that I literally scrambled her eggs. Her pussy was bleeding all of a sudden non-stop for a year and I did not touch that hole for well over two years...so I used her other hole...her mouth. Kept her from nagging too much too. Just so I can get my fix. She still hates me for that though...but like I give two shits and a dog. Hell, I couldn't care any less than that squirrel that she fucked."
Blacky then asked him, "So you're telling me she actually has fucked a squirrel once?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Once? Boy...she has fucked that squirrel many times over and over again that I'm sure that she rapes it too when I'm not there. I just pretend it's her sex toy and what not. And if you want more information about that squirrel, ask her when that fucking cunt comes back."
Blacky then asked him, "What the fuck is wrong with you ponies?"
Blacky then looked towards TF and asked him, "What kind of a shit hole did you fished those two out from?"
TF then said, "Long story...maybe I'll tell you one day."
Mr. Brown then said, "Long story indeed...well kind of. But it was a heck of a story though to be honest. Now...are we going to talk about something else or are you guys going to still complain about the whole thing about me raping my sister? Because I would really like to get me some shut eye so we can go us on a little hunting trip tomorrow morning. I feel energized for it now! Ready to pick me off some ponies and go pow pow pow with the new guns that we have...which thank you very much TF for making them."
TF then said in response, "Don't mention it."
But Blacky then asked Mr. Brown, "Well I would like to still talk about the whole thing because right now I'm still confused on the whole thing. Why on Earth would you even consider such a thing? I know you two are by yourselves...but that's no excused to go and rape your sister, somepony that is part of your blood like that."
Mr. Brown then fell silent. It felt like that last comment took a blow to him.
However, after a few seconds of silence had passed, Mr. Brown finally spoke up and said to them, "Well...I do have a little story to tell you all. Something that happened when me and my sis were entering into our adult lives. It happened many years ago...many moons ago really. It was an afternoon, right about when the sun was coming down. I remember it too...it had a nice orange glow to it and everything. And well...I was doing my own thing outside with my Pa and sis. Doing some work around the house and everything...and then Ma called me to come inside. Well I did the right thing as a son would do and went inside. Well, when I went inside, I couldn't find her anywhere. I searched high and low on the first floor, but yet to my efforts...I didn't find her. Not until I heard her voice and she had told me she was up on the second floor.
'So I climbed the stairs, Pa and sis still doing their work outside. And when I went upstairs, I still didn't see. It was a bit odd because everything in the house was oddly quiet. And all the bedroom doors were closed...except for my Ma and Pa's room. It was opened just a crack. And then my Ma's voice said to come into her room. Next thing you know I was through the door, thinking she needs help with something...but it turns out she was just fine. In fact, she was relaxed on her bed...dressed up in lingerie, with candles and rose petals scattered through the room. And she was looking at me kind of funny. Like she had the hots for me or something. I thought it was silly at first, but then something clicked in my head and something told me that the whole thing wasn't meant for my Pa. Ma told me to come a little closer. So, curiously I did since I had thought maybe it was a huge misunderstanding.
'So I got in a little closer and...strangely enough my Ma was still not satisfied with me. So she demanded that I get a little closer. As I did, although I didn't know it at the time but, when I...I was up there...my pa and sis was attacked by a few stallions, especially Pa...they dragged him out to a river and drowned him in it while my sis was badly beaten to the bone. All while Ma had me upstairs, asking me to get closer. I heard their screams for help and I looked towards the window when I did. As I was about to go out and help them, my Ma just quickly swiped me up faster than a pecan pie on a Sunday and gave me a big ol' kiss on the lips. Then it hit me that she was trying to seduce me. She even admitted to paying those stallions to kill my Pa so she could get closer to me. Apparently Pa wasn't performing like he used too and Ma was kind of upset about that.
'Well, she gave me a kiss and as I tried to push away from her, she pulled me ever so closer to her face. She even made the effort to put her tongue in my mouth and soon before you knew it, my tongue was dancing with her tongue. It was wrong, it felt wrong doing it. But the sexual feeling that grew inside of me couldn't be helped. I was seduced by my own Ma and it felt good at the time. There was no stopping what had been done, no resisting, and Ma made a huge effort to make sure I stayed by dressing up in something very sexy that I couldn't resist. And I just went with it. We banged all throughout the remaining of the day and into the dark and cold night. She gave me a blow job and I ate her pussy like it was my dinner.
'I even ate her asshole and drank her piss as she wanted to use me as her personal bathroom. She even took a shit on my chest and at the time it all felt very good. But as time went on...I felt bad what happened...my Pa was dead as a result. My sis was in a cast for the next six months...and my Ma...well she was somewhat mentally ill and it all could have been prevented if I had not been so easily seduced by her. So one day I just had a mental breakdown and...kind of killed Ma myself...but yet a part of me was a bit messed up that I sort of started to rape my sister every now and then and...well...not sure what to make of it other than I guess I'm crazy and need help.
'I still blame myself you know...for what happened. If I wasn't so...easily seduced and was weak willed...if my mind could have looked past the pleasure of sex...if only I...could have changed it all. I regret it all...you know." Blacky then asked Mr. Brown, "So is that what happened to you ? Is that why you have sex with your sister like that and do it all the time with no guilt? Is...that the sad tale that you had to say us all?"
Mr. Brown then immediately said quickly and loudly, "OF COURSE NOT YOU'RE FUCKING FAGGOT! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? A FUCKING PONY THAT NEEDS SOME GOD DAMN PITY!? I FUCKING LOVE FUCKING MY MA LIKE THAT! I ALWAYS WANTED TO FUCK HER SIDEWAYS TO SUNDAY! IT WAS THE BEST KIND OF SEX THAT I HAD IN MY GOD DAMN LIFE I TELL YOU WHAT! HELL I JACK OFF EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT THAT STORY!
'Which reminds me I need to jerk off behind those bushes right behind you Sky later on. But anyways...NONE OF THAT SHIT EVER HAPPENED EXCEPT FOR MY MA SUDCING ME AND ALL THAT SHIT! PA WAS MUDERED, MY SIS WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR SIX MONTHS, AND BECAME A MOTHER FUCKER! THE ONLY PART THAT PISSES ME OFF THOUGH WAS THAT I DIDN'T KILL MY MA! MY BITCH OF A SIS DID! SHE JUST HAD TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME , ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SEX WAS STARTING TO GET REAL GOOD TOO!
'I SWEAR I'M GOING TO FUCKING SLIT THAT BITCHS' THROAT ONE DAY WHILE SHE IS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM A ROPE WHILE BEING HUNG OVER A FIRE...THEN I'M GOING TO CHOP OFF HER HEAD AND SKULL AND FUCK THAT HEAD TO DEATH AND I'M GOING TO ENJOY IT TOO! NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO SKULL FUCK HER FUCKING HEAD, BUT BECAUSE SHE OWES ME ALL OF THOSE YEARS THAT I MISSED OUT ON FUCKING MY OWN MA! AND THAT BITCH HAS ANOTHER THING COMING TOO HER YOU KNOW!"
Blacky then was taken aback by what Mr. Brown had to say, especially with his kind of rude tone that he gave off and he said to him, "Aww...when I was just starting to feel bad for you, you lose all respect from me that I had for you, you know?"
Mr. Brown then said to him, "I don't give a fuck about your respect. I don't need no god damn respect at all from any of you mother fuckers. I'm good on my own and can take care of myself...just you wait...one day I'm going to be on top, maybe a famous movie star or something like that and have all of these mares with fine asses are sitting right next to me. It'll happen one day...just you fucking wait boy."
Blacky then said, "You are one sick fuck...and that's coming from me. The pony that has seen a lot of fucked up stuff in my time out in the world. I mean I've seen some sick stuff, but you're one of the sickest I've seen. Even the ones that were the meanest and curliest things had some form of respect for themselves. You...you're just a pile of fucking filth...you know?"
Mr. Brown then said, "And I couldn't give two fucks about what you have to say about me too Blacky. And besides, at least TF likes me...right boss?"
TF then stared at him silently and Blacky was looking at TF too. He was awaiting his response to see what he would say since he seemed curious of TF's position.
TF then said, "I never said such a thing Mr. Brown. I'll admit, you're a bit of an interesting case the day I met you, but with you however, I agree with Blacky over here...you have some problems that needs sorting out. But at the same time...I really don't care."
Blacky then said, "Alrighty then...if that's what you think...I'll be on my way then. Gentlecolts...lady..if you excuse me...I'm going to be right behind those bushes there right behind Sky and jacking off to me and my Ma fucking banging the night away."
When Mr. Brown had said that, he had gotten up and pointed with his right hoof towards a decently large bush behind Sky. Sky had looked behind him and was sort of in disgust. His face started to change color a bit and felt like he wanted to puke. He hated the idea and found it disgusting that a pony like him was going to relieve himself. Not even that. but him touching himself as he was taught not to do such a thing.
However within his own mind, he knew he was never going to make it out in the world and start to become tough in one way or another if he could take the simple idea of jacking off seriously. He was going to have to start learning to take the hard facts of life. So instead he swallowed, tried to get the dirty thought out of his head, and looked back, only showing that his mouth was agape, a bit shocked to that Mr. Brown was going to be pleasuring himself right behind him for however how long he was going to do it for.
However, Sky didn't want to think about it too much so he started to think of other things like his marefriend that he wanted to see again so badly at this point. To him, she was his world, but he also wanted to do right by her as well.
And so, after Mr. Brown had said what he had said, he then quietly walked towards the bush that was located right behind Sky and the bush swallowed him whole, as if it was alive. And then everyone was quiet for a bit...until they started to hear the sounds of fapping coming from the bushes. To Sky, it sounded even worse than he had in mind. However he pushed forward and kept going.
After the sounds fapping echoed into the night, Blacky then said, "Can't wait until this trip is done and over with. I'm starting to lose it with those two ponies. At first they were fine and barely mentioning a damn thing..but now I just want to get away as far away from them as I possibly can."
Snow then said in reply, "I agree with you as well...he's starting to get a bit annoying. I would say we should walk a few feet from here and such so we no longer have to see his ugly face...but that would only make things worse. I'll hunt him down and kill him later instead."
Blacky then asked him, "Hate him that much?"
Snow then said, "No not really. I just really like killing things...especially living things. I get a kick out of it every time I use my rifle with it too...gives me a nice adrenaline rush. Can't get enough of it either."
Blacky then said, "I would say all of you are complete psychos...but I would be lying if I said I wasn't one to."
TF then said, "Yes Blacky...we are all complete psychopaths here. In a way we are family...well...except for Sky of course. But if he makes it on this trip and stays alive, he might just become one of us by the end of it."
Blacky then said, "Yeah well...if he doesn't, I wouldn't blame him. For me, I'm only crazy because of the wars that I've been put through in my earlier years. But then again it only makes me a little bit like a psychopath and nothing more. but whatever."
Snow then said, "Speaking of Sky...can I talk to you for a bit...in private?"
Sky then said to Snow with a confused look, but still calm, "Sure Snow. What do you want to talk about?"
Snow then said to Sky, "Let's talk about it in private...shall we?"
Sky gave him a weird look. "Come on Sky...don't you trust me? We're friends...am I right? You can trust me...all I want to do is talk to you about a little something."
Snow said with a friendly tone. Then there was complete silence amongst the remaining five that was still sitting around the campfire.
TF was looking between both Sky and Snow, thinking in his mind, "I see what's going on here..."
As for Blacky, he too looked both at Snow and Sky and was a bit confused. Then something clicked in his mind and he was finally was reminded as to what Snow had said earlier about Sky.
So he then immediately got up and defended Sky and said, "Look...Sky, you don't need to go talk to Snow in private ok."
Sky then asked him, "Why not Blacky?"
Snow then got up with his rifle on his back in an intimidating way and asked Blacky, "Yes Blacky...why not?"
Blacky then gave a worried look and then looked at Snow with an unpleasant look on his face and said to him, "Look, just stay away from him...alright. He's just some kid that doesn't know much about this world."
Sky then got up and walked up to Blacky's back and put a hoof on his shoulder and asked him, "What are you talking about?"
Blacky then looked to Sky and gave a look that said to Sky that he cared about him, but then looked back to Snow and looked deep into his angry eyes. The message was clear: He was concerned.
He put himself into a mess that he wasn't exactly sure how to get himself out of. He knew he would have to give up Sky for a bit. To him he was starting to really warm up to him and felt bad for him in some ways. However, if violence of any kind was not to break out, especially then, he would have to just play along with Snow's plan. And if anything were to happen, he would have to just deal with the situation with whatever is thrown at him. He may not be pleased by the position he was in, but at the time, he was confused on what to do. He wasn't exactly sure what move he needed to make. Sure he could protect Sky and get him away from Snow, but yet at the same time they were a team and so far they have gotten along...well for the most part.
And so he knew that they couldn't break down all of a sudden, especially with what happened after they released the cannibals on to a group of innocent camp of workers, just minding their own business and doing their jobs. And for them to break down in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night would be very much a terrible thing to happen and would be bad for all. So, he quietly stepped aside from Sky's view and gave a slight gesture for Sky to go along with Snow and to go to a private area nearby to "talk to him."
However, as he did, there was only silence. Blacky only gave a worried look on his face, worried what might happen to Sky. Thoughts ran through his mind, wondering what might occur in the next few minutes. Perhaps he might get killed. Perhaps beaten to a bloody pulp. Perhaps Snow would be very brutal with him and unforgiving and break his legs and torture him until he tells him what he wants to know. All he knew was that he felt bad for the kid, and that is what he was...a kid. A young, dumb kid in a cruel, unforgiving, cold world that would eat him up and spit out in a matter of seconds. And the worst part was that the kid had no idea what he had gotten himself into. Here was a nice stallion that just wanted to do right by his marefriend, and instead he got entangled into a web of crooks, killers, war veterans, inbreeds, lies, deceiving, psychopaths. He was in trouble if he didn't come out of this whole trip alive. And as for Sky, he was still confused up until this point, but went with it though and walked towards Snow and as Sky was walking towards him, Snow gave him a cold hard look at Blacky.
However, at the same time, he also gave a little look that said, "Don't worry...you'll see that you were wrong and I will have saved your ass."
And so, Snow and Sky walked off quietly into the night, not to be seen as they walked into the nearby darkness, however not too far since Snow wanted to make sure he was still close by. Chances are to Blacky, they only walked right behind a nearby bush that was a bit of a ways off, but not too far from the camp site, but far enough so they couldn't hear their conversations. And so, there were only three remaining.
Blacky just stood there, right by the hot fire, looking off into the distance. He then turned his attention towards the view that he had looked not too long before where he saw the two mountain tops and such. He looked towards it and thought to himself that despite what happened, it was still a pretty and calming site to see.
Even though he was pretty sure that the cannibals were still having their little blood orgy and such. However thankfully, they were out of his view so he wouldn't be able to be disturbed by their sight of them. He then looked towards the stars and the lonely moon and wondered if there was ever any magic in the world. He even wondered if there was any hope or anything good left in the world that they lived in anymore.
And then TF spoke and asked him, "So I see you two are getting along well."
Blacky was startled by TF's talking, but wasn't scared though. It just made him a little jumpy was all. He was too busy looking above him and seeing all the stars dancing above his head and was somewhat in a deep trance as well. However, after TF had said something to him, he then turned around and looked at TF. TF was looking at the ground, and then slowly looked up and gave him an odd, but yet shuttle gaze towards Blacky. So Blacky then gave a small sigh and took a seat near TF.
They were still both silent for a while, until TF thought up the words to say that he was sure that would not put him in a corner.
Blacky then said to TF, "Well...we were kind of getting along. But then all of a sudden he feels like he needs to "talk" to Sky about a certain something."
TF then asked him, "And what is it exactly that he wants to talk to about Sky Blacky?"
Blacky just gave TF a scowl look. He felt like TF was up to something and he didn't like it. Granted though, he wasn't completely sure what he was up to. For all he knew, TF was lying about something that was very small and not really should have much attention on and the traitor is someone else. That or Snow was lying to him and he was the traitor.
Either way, he knew something was up, but to make sure he wouldn't put himself into a corner, since speaking was never his strong suite, but instead shooting and killing.
Blacky then said to TF, "Don't really...want to say right now. But to be honest, I just hope Sky is going to be alright. I fear for that kid."
TF then said to Blacky, "Don't worry about the boy, he'll be fine. If he doesn't make it on this trip, we can bury him and leave at that."
Blacky then felt a little upset about TF's comment.
He then said, this time with a slight tone in his voice, "So you really don't give a fuck about the kid do you?"
TF then said, "Oh I do Blacky...trust me...I am as much as his friend as the Mane six are friends together. It's just that this world will not be kindly to him is all and if he fails, he fails. This world does not take kindly to those that cannot be the fittest to survive you know?"
Blacky then said, "Yeah...I know. But that doesn't mean it has to happen to a youngster like him. He has a long set of years ahead of him and it sure doesn't need to be ruined by us or him dying out here. For us, for all of us that you chose...we had a life. We had a life once where we had hopes and dreams. Hell I'm sure Snow at one point wasn't always thinking about going around and killing others and getting a kick out of it. I'm sure he had hopes and dreams of the future where every little thing was going to be alright. Hell I had those kind of dreams too when I was growing up. I thought to myself that...maybe one day I would get a nice cozy job in a big city like Manehatten or something like that and earn enough to have a fancy living of some kind. But instead all that happened was that I fought in the Great War and saw a lot of shit happen.
'Left and Right I saw my friends die...right in the front of my fucking eyes. But at the time, the Princess wasn't worried about it...the rest of fucking Equestria wasn't worried about it. They were all under the assumption that everything was fine...WELL NOT EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING FINE GOD DAMN IT!...It was just a couple of small towns that got together that was smart enough to see through the plans of somepony that wanted to take Equestria for himself...and we fought him until we almost died ourselves. Sure...we were able to beat him, the town of Stalia was able to bring him down and kill every one last of his ponies that were fighting for him and his cause.
'But yet at what cost because at the very end Stalia was the only town left standing willing to fight him as the rest got their hooves handed to them. And after the war...I just...wasn't sure what to do next. Sure I still had the dream where I would go out and live the fancy life amongst the rich...maybe even see my mother again too...but after that war...I knew this world was not a pleasant one to live in. But I am still here...so I had to make the best of it. And so I lived the rest of my days, not paying taxes, always on the move, and became a bounty hunter myself and shot down anypony that was in my way or in the way of a good paycheck. Either way...life is shit...life is...fucking hell god damn it.
'And that kid...Sky...he doesn't need all of this. He doesn't belong with us...he has no idea what he's talking about being tough and strong for his girl. I mean he's so young and in love that he has no idea what to do. He doesn't need to be tough, doesn't need to be strong for her. In the end all he needs to be is to be the pony that she wants him to be."
And TF then asked Blacky, "And how would you know Blacky?"
Blacky then said to TF, "Because I was in love once myself...it was before The Great War had even started. I was in a bar once, pissed ass drunk and was at a low point in my life where I barely had a bit to pay the bills and didn't have a single fuck to give to the world. But then...one day a girl randomly walked into the bar and my eyes met hers and...suddenly we just sort of clicked. It wasn't quite that fast, we didn't start going out or anything like that...but yet...I could feel...love was in the air that night. And then after a few weeks of gathering up the courage to ask her out...she asked me out first surprisingly. And the next thing you know...we're going out constantly, flirting with each other, passing each other notes at dinner.
'At night we would just be by ourselves and walk around Stalia and just be under the stars and lived life a little bit. We would kiss each other and whisper in each other ears of how much we loved each other. Then next thing I did was that I went to her parent's house, met her dad who was pretty fucking scary I gotta say, even now when I think about it. And her father...well he didn't like me very much...but in the end...we still rebelled against his wishes and went out. And a few days before The Great War...I was going to propose to her...but then I got the bad news that she was in the hospital. And so I visited her every chance I got and...turned out she had a heart problem...a very bad heart problem and...well let's just say she was in a very critical state that she needed to be monitored at the hospital at all times.
'And so I stayed by her bed side up until the day she died. Her heart stopped and...well...to me I almost lost it. I almost felt like my heart was going to stop itself and I would die from a broken heart. But...there was still a little bit of hope left because before she passed, she gave me a note...written on a napkin, one of the notes that...that we would pass to each other when we were at restaurants and on it said, 'When I pass on...don't be sad. Be happy that we were together and move forward. Find another mare to love that might need it and never give up hope. Never stop dreaming.'
'She had told that to me when we asked each other what if we were to die one day and we couldn't grow old together. And so I always kept it with me, even when I decided to sign up with the army when The Great War started. But one day while on the battlefield, I lost it, it really did hurt me when I did lose it too. That note...that napkin...meant a lot to me. And not until I lost the damn thing did I realize she must have written it when I was asleep right next to her and she felt bad for me.
'And to this very day I dream that one day I might find her again. That I will see her in heaven and we'll be together. And every now and then I tend to have dreams about her as well and...to be honest...I hope that I fall over and die one day and get this life over with so I can see her again. I lived my life...but before I do...I intend to get that kid home safe. If I could, I would force him to go home right now...because he sure as hell doesn't need to be among those that kill constantly.
'If anything, this trip will turn him into a monster. Just like us. And that kid...well..he doesn't deserve to become a monster. Sure...you either live as a monster or die as a good pony...but you also can live as a good pony or die as a monster. And right now, we made our choices in our pasts, but he still gets to decide his own fate. Right now, he needs guidance, and I'm the best hope he has left in this dark world to give him a little light towards his way."
TF then asked Blacky, "And how do you intend to do such a thing if I may ask?"
Blacky then said to TF, "Well....I'm not quite sure myself. I haven't been in this kind of situation before, but if I had to guess, I have to talk to him for a bit. Maybe teach him how to be tough a little bit and how to take this world how it is a little bit when he gets back. But then...maybe...just maybe...whenever he asks me to teach him something, I'll just try and steer clear of that subject and basically stall."
Then TF asked him, "And if he notices what you are doing?"
Blacky then responded with, "Then I just have to deal with it and let him down and tell him the truth. Right now though...he has his hopes up...he has his hopes and dreams from me and the rest of us to protect him and also to make him tough so he can survive in this world. That is what he thinks will happen. And right now I rather not see him upset anymore. I don't want to see him die either. I was surprised that he got over what you said to him earlier too...surprisingly he took it very well."
TF then said, "Well then that's good to know. Sky does need to toughen up if he is to follow us, but if you do as you say what you're going to do...then so be it. He is not a problem...but I do hope for the best either way though."
Blacky then said to him, "I get ya. You can lead a pony to water, but you can't make him drink it."
TF then said, "Yes...quite indeed. Although I do believe you can make the pony drink the water. You just need to force the pony's head under water and force the pony to drink either until it complies or it dies from drowning." Blacky then stared at TF in silence until he said, "You really are a psychopath aren't you?"
TF then said to him, "Yes...yes I am...and I'm proud of it."
Blacky then took in what TF had to say...but then he turned his attention to Star Glitter for no reason at all. Then another thought hit him. He stared at Star Glitter and started to wonder something about her.
He then asked TF, "I've got a question to ask you...who is Star and what is she doing here?"
TF then asked Blacky, "Why do you ask Blacky?"
Blacky then responded with, "Well...it's just that, well...she has not spoken a single word this entire time. Not only that, but she doesn't seem to do much either other than saving me from that bear attack earlier."
He then stared directly at Star, stared deeply into her eyes and squinted a little bit with his eyes. Star Glitter did the exact same thing and stared back, but within her own eyes, she seemed a little bit intimidating and looked like she was going to kill Blacky at any minute.
Blacky then said, "Not only that, I don't even know what she looks like...the only thing that I see is her eyes and that's it. I guess what I'm asking is...why is she here?"
TF then stayed silent, preparing to think of an answer that would be suitable for Blacky. And so there was nothing but pure silence aside from the crackling of the fire that they were circling around.
Then TF finally broke the silence and said to Blacky, "Well...obviously Star will not speak for herself so I will have to speak for her instead."
Blacky then said, "No...I want Star to speak."
TF then asked him, "And why in Celestia's name would you want her to do that Blacky?"
Blacky then said, "Well, she is starting to seem suspicious to me after all. I mean why would you bring her out here with us? Let alone why does she never speak and the only thing that she has ever done is just follow us?"
TF then said, "It is rude you know. You don't quite understand Star and who she is."
Blacky then asked TF, "And what am I being rude about exactly? She has a mouth doesn't she? Can't you let her speak?"
TF then said, "Stop being arrogant and for once consider there may be a reason why she does not speak at all."
Blacky then stayed silent for a bit, but then he thought for a moment that perhaps TF was right. That he had a point that there might be a reason why she was on the trip at all. He wasn't exactly sure what that reason could be, but there can be a reason for everything, it is only a matter of taking the time and effort to ask and investigate a little bit.
So, Blacky then asked TF, "Alright then...I'll go along with this and ask. Why can't she talk? Who is she? What is her back story? What is..."
TF cut him off and then said, "One question at a time."
Then there was a slight pause for a while.
Then TF continued his part of the conversation and said to Blacky, "Well if you must ask, then I'll tell you. You must understand that she does have a past, but a poor one at that."
Blacky then said, "Well it can't be as a bad as a past that I've had or anypony else here. You can't get any worse than losing a mother, losing your loved one, going into war and seeing all of your friends die left and right and just seeing this world for what it really is."
TF then said, "Oh, but it could be...you never truly know if you have it the worst of all. Sure somepony out there will have the worst life ever lived, but you will never know exactly who and you will more than likely never know. Anyways, I know Star personally from many years back. I've known her for many years and you could say that we are good friends. Possibly her only friend in this whole world. Well, let's just say she has been alone for her whole life, not even knowing who her own birth parents were.
'You see...after that whole thing with Knight and everything that I mentioned earlier to Sky about why we fight each other, long story short, he forgot me for ten years, I was able to find another friend that thankfully hasn't broken my poor heart. I found her one day while rummaging through some bushes in a dark forest one day. It was weird and I questioned it myself, but I was able to find her indeed. And believe it or not, at that time she did talk once. She even spoke to me before. When we first met, we were a bit cautious of each other. However, we were able to talk on stable ground and had a stable relationship you could say after we got to know each other a little bit better.
'Well, it turns out that she was abandoned as a child and ended up being raised by a group of Timber Wolves. Normally they would eat the child, but those timber wolves instead took her in as one of their own. Although her being able to speak at all perplexes me since there is a critical period where a child needs to learn to speak properly, so my guess is that she had got into contact with a few other ponies in her early days. Possibly by some passing travelers or some other pony that I didn't know taught her, but then left her to her own. Who knows, as she never told me how she even got to talk.
'But, aside from that mystery that will possibly never be answered, we soon became friends and she even showed me her home with the timber wolves that she made for herself. It was a small group, only about three to four timber wolves living in a cave. It then made sense as to why she wasn't eaten alive as a helpless baby because the timber wolves themselves didn't seem to be part of any pack. If anything they seemed to have been lone wolves themselves and got together and formed a little group. Well, to her the timber wolves was her family and a family that she loved all with her heart at that. And I too became friends with the timber wolves.
'It was amazing honestly, having contact and a relationship with the timber wolves. Amazing, but yet at the same time, quite nice. Well, after I met her, I took her back to my home with civilization. I showed her around, although she did act a bit weird, as she wasn't in the most perfect condition. However I brought her to my home that I was at least able to make for myself, since I too was alone in this world after Knight had left me. And so, we started to talk for a bit and soon before you know it we were good friends. Very...good...friends."
TF looked and gave a quick glance towards Star when he said those words.
Anyway, TF continued to say, "And so, through the many years that passed and the many seasons, through the warm spring, the hot summers, the cool autumns, and the harsh and cold winters, we met and talked to one another alone with visiting one another's homes. She even brought her timber wolf family along one time to my own home. It was a mess since they made a mess themselves. But, it was fine in the end. Then...that day came. It was late at night...I was out and about in the streets in the little village I was living at. I was taking a late night stroll through the village while being under the hot summer night sky. It was calming and beautiful both at the same time and it was nice and relaxing. But then I noticed something in the nearby dark forest. I saw smoke coming out from the tree tops and noticed some ponies dressed up in fine amour wondering around through the forests.
'They were also well equipped with weapons of many assortments and I knew something was up. I wasn't able to kill those ponies that invaded the forest, but at the very least I was able to sneak through the bushes and trees undetected. Well, sort of. That was sort of a lie, my apologizes, I did kill some now that I recall, but it was silently however. And so I made my way towards her own home along with the area where the smoke was coming from. And to my shock she was on the ground, blood dripping from her face with many cuts and bruises and her own family that all she had in this world were dead and buried. As for the ponies that invaded the area, well they were all dead, as it turns out that Star here killed them, but was too late and not strong enough to save her own family.
'As for the smoke, it came from a camp fire that was about to turn into a forest fire. So I ran quickly and quietly to her side and through some dirt on to the fire so it didn't cause much trouble than it could have had done. I was able to pick her up and put her on my back, but her family was long gone and dead. As for the other ponies, they never took noticed as I assume they were waiting for the others, but of course they were dead and they were just standing there like fools.
'However if I had to guess, they were there looking for something and possibly guarding something as well. Well, I took Star back to my own home and tried my best to heal her wounds myself. The next morning it turned out that when she tried to fight, the other ponies got her good. They did so much damage to her mouth and vocal chords that it would be impossible to fix with any kind of surgery today. I eventually took her to a doctor of course. So she has to cover her face with a special type of material to keep it from hurting her, let alone kill her. She even has to where a little mask around her face, even though you cannot see it right now, to stop the pain from coming in. In other words, if you were to remove the said mask off of her, it would be very painful.
'And even if it was possible to fix her issue that she is for cursed with, she cannot do anything about it still as a few years later, she contracted an odd, but rare disease that prevents her from her talking again. The name too given to the disease was also very outlandish as well, but apparently the one who gave it the name was a crazy hobo strangely enough. The name for the said disease is Kazuhria "Empty an M9 into the welfare line" Millar Disease.
'I have no idea why that name was ever chosen to be honest, but my guess is the hobo was crazy and delusional and such that no one really bothered with him. Aside from that, that ends her sad tale. She has been with me ever since, although she has gone on her own before and learned to fight better and be quick with her attacks. I don't know where she has gone off to when she has been on her own, but if I had to guess she has a master that teaches her this somewhere in the mountain tops. So...does that answer all of your possible questions Blacky?"
Then there was only silence for a good long while as Blacky looked at both TF and Star suspiciously.
Then Blacky finally said, "I feel like some of that story was bullshit. Making friends and a family with timber wolves, a disease that I never heard of. She somehow learned to speak from other ponies while not spending that much time with them. You're making that shit up."
TF then said while he raised a hoof, "I swear to you Blacky, on my father's grave that this is the truth. If not, let god or Celestia strike me down right now. And if you want proof, we'll ask all the others about the disease name and see if they heard of it before. Will that satisfy your curiosity Blacky? Or are you going to go after Star and demand blood until you feel like your soul is secured from the fact that you believe me and her are up to something."
Then, they heard a gunshot into the distance.
They were both surprised by the sound and TF quickly then said, "We'll talk about this later."
Blacky and TF then got up and went towards the direction of where the sound came from. The sound came from the same direction from where Sky and Snow went, and Blacky knew that something was up. That something was not right and that he might have made a mistake letting Sky go like that. So Blacky and TF went into the darkness while Star was left behind by herself at the camp site. As they went into the darkness, obviously it was hard to see.
Even for TF it was hard as he himself was nothing higher but a mere pony like the rest of the Equestria and beyond. So he was having a bit of trouble seeing through the dark. However, as time passed, in this case being a minute or two, he was able to see again, although very faintly for that matter. It was still a bit difficult to see, but he was able to manage.
He was able to make out some dark outlines, and along with the help from the moon giving off some light and the stars far above him, he was able to see a little bit better. Granted, his eyes wouldn’t be able to adjust fully not until half and an hour passes by. It would have been better for them if they had a lantern, but sadly it disappeared for Blacky, he wondered as to why since it was left with TF the last time.
As for Blacky seeing in the dark, he had the same issue of course, although with him, he was worried to death as to what could have happened to Sky. He wondered if he was killed and shot in the back by Snow, in which case, he thought to himself how he would kill Snow if that was ever the case. As they ran to the area that the sound of the shot came from, they also saw Pink as well, although very vaguely, although they could tell it was her due to her mare figure.
When they found Pink, she said, “What in the name of Celestia did that shot came from? Was it my stupid fucking brother? I bet It was that sack of low life shit. You know…I’ve always thought the day would come when he would get shot by somepony else…well actually, I always dreamt of the day when he would get a knife in his back instead for all the backstabbing that he did back in the days when we were robbing together as a family. But a bullet in his fucking skull would do.”
Blacky then told her, “No Pink…it wasn’t your brother that got shot. We’re pretty sure it was Sky.”
TF then jumped into the conversation and then said, “Or it could have been Snow for all we know. We will not know until we find out the truth of what happened."
To TF he wasn’t planning on Snow killing Sky, but he wasn’t on planning on Sky killing either. To him, this was an urgent matter as it wasn’t what he had in mind what would happened when he gathered this group together.
Anyways, Blacky then said to Pink, “Look, right now we just need to know where Sky and Snow went. We can talk about whatever later. So for right now let’s just…”
Blacky was cut off, but not by another pony cutting him off to join in on the conversation, but instead it is what he saw. TF and Pink saw it too, far into the distance. They looked back to their campsite, where the light was nice and bright. There, they saw two figures of ponies sitting by it, not moving a single muscle.
To Blacky, However, it was easy to guess that it was more than likely Snow and Sky, and that they were back safely. Although the question was still unanswered about where the shot came from or why there was even a sound that pierced through the air in the first place. However Blacky and TF didn’t care about the what ifs and what was going through their minds.
All they wanted to know was if Sky and Snow was unharmed. And so all three of them made quick haste back to the camp fire site. And as they got ever so closer, it was made clear that the two figures were Sky and Snow, but they were oddly just staying still. When they were back and fully enveloped in the fire’s light, they saw the two ponies sitting quietly next to each other. They were not sad or angry, neither smiling and laughing either. They were just staying silent and not speaking a single word to each other.
Blacky then said to Sky while making an effort to come face to face with Sky, “Sky, are you alright?”
TF then asked both Sky and Snow, “Yes…what was that noise that we heard earlier?”
Snow then said calmly, “That sound was from the barrel from my gun. My rifle. It was fired.”
Sky just stayed silent, while just thinking about his own thoughts and experiences and such.
Blacky then asked Snow, “Yes, but why was it fired? And is anypony hurt at all?”
Snow then said back to Blacky, “Does it look like any of us are bleeding right now? And besides, if somepony was hurt, Sky wouldn’t be here right now. Instead he would be wallowing in his own grave, alone in the darkness, left for the animals to feast on his flesh. Left for the maggots to decompose his body so he can return to the Earth and be nothing but a rotting corpse. And we wouldn’t be having this conversation anyways. Instead all you would see is blood on my face and my pride as high as the clouds above us. But instead, we’re on ok grounds…for now. I still have my suspicions about Sky here, but I must admit…he has some balls for firing my gun like that.”
Blacky then said out loud, “Wait…what?”
Blacky looked at Sky and was a bit stunned as Sky looked down at the ground in shame.
TF then said with a bit of a smile growing across his face, “Well, well, well, it looks like our little Sky here is starting to look out for himself. Maybe it isn’t a lot, but it sure is a start. So tell us Sky…what happened with you and Snow out there when you two were in private, talking to one another?”
Sky just stayed silent for a while, not saying a single word to one of them.
But then, out of nowhere, Sky then spoke to Blacky and said, “ I’m a bit upset right now. I don’t feel right what I did.”
Blacky then asked Sky, “What are you talking about Sky? There’s nothing to be ashamed about defending yourself.”
Snow then butted in and said, “Who said I attacked him?”
Sky then said, “I…just don’t want to talk right now. I just want to be left alone for a while, thinking about my own thoughts.”
As Sky said that, he gently pushed Blacky away with his hoof and got away and walked a little bit further from the group in shame with his head hanging head down while his face pretty much said he was sad and depressed. He didn’t stray off too far from the group. All he did was find a separate spot for himself, to be alone with his own thoughts and to just think about everything that had just happened to him.
He ended up finding a small, little spot, perfect for him to be isolated from the others a few feet away from the campfire. It was where he had his back turned to the fire and his face was looking into the darkness of the night. Through his own mind, he was haunted and thought about life in general. To him, he didn’t think the world so bad and was going to let him off easy every now and then. But he then started to realize how cruel this world can be. He has seen cannibals eating other innocent ponies alive, ponies that were just trying to making a living for themselves and their families. He has seen a train blown up with one victim to the whole incident.
And he somehow thought he was friends with the one that was responsible for it all. And somehow he was supposed to be good with it. But then, he also thought that TF was right, that TF had point that he needed to know how to do for himself and to be tough by himself because if he doesn’t, he would be dead in this world without anyone else batting an eye.
He knew that he needed to get over his feelings at some point and just survive for once. And so, he thought back to what just had happened.
MEANWHILE…WITH SKY AND SNOW WHILE BLACKY WAS TALKING TO TF….
And so another flashback…oh goodie. Well, where should we start? Well, Sky and Snow had just left and walked into the dark abyss that surrounded the camp fire.
As they walked into it, Sky felt a little creeped out. The darkness felt a little weird, walking right into it and all. Not only that, but he couldn’t see a thing at all. However, Snow then somehow was carrying a small lantern that he happened to have with him. It was small and it did fit well into one of his pockets of the clothing that he was wearing.
To Sky, it didn’t make sense, but from his perspective, nothing made sense to him anymore. And besides, ponies like Snow to him were a bit odd already, but he was friendly about it. When Snow brought light into their view, Snow looked back at Sky and eyed him for a bit.
He then moved his head forward, saying silently, ‘Yo, bozo…this way you fucking idiot…we’re going this way. What? Are you a New Yorker or something? Are you from fucking New Jersey and that's why you can’t tell the signal that I’m giving you? You fucking prick. I bet you have a problem with our pizza too! I bet you like that shitty deep dish Chicago pizza. That crap isn't real pizza, our pizza is real pizza. We have only the best, none of this dumb ass deep dish. What is even deep dish anyways? It's a freaking pizza that you're supposed to eat with your hands, none of this fork and silver ware crap. I bet you like putting pineapples on your pizza too, you're disgusting human being if you like pineapple on your pizza.'
Well, that’s one way to put it and all. I mean, never mind. Well, Sky followed Snow until they were a bit ways off from the campfire. In fact, it was to the point where the campfire was just nothing but a small dot in the distance. Sky was starting to get worried that they were straying too far from the path, too far from the group in a sense.
Sky then asked Snow, “Don’t you think we’re far away enough from the others to have a private conversation with each other?”
Snow then said, “Just a little further. Trust me Sky, we need this to be very private and only between us…got it?”
Sky then said, “I guess so…it’s just…well we are friends and all…we are friends…right…Snow?”
Snow then replied with, “Yes, yes we are Sky.”
Sky then said, “Well, it’s just that, you know…I just prefer that we stick with the others. I mean I know this needs to be private and all, but, don’t you think we could just go behind a bush or something and whisper to each other what you wanted to talk to me about?”
Snow then said, “Like I said Sky, we need this little chat to be very private and only be between the two of us. And besides, who's to say one of them would eavesdrop on us?”
Sky then asked Snow, “Who would want to listen on to our conversation?”
Snow then thought for a bit and he then said, “Blacky perhaps. He did seem that he didn’t want you to go with me at all.”
Sky then thought about Snow’s reply for a while and it started to make sense to him too in his mind as well.
So Sky then said, “Well…you do sort of have a point about that. Well, even if he did eavesdrop, I'm sure he would have a reason. He’s a friend and all, just like you and the others and all, and I would imagine him just being worried about me.”
Snow then replied with, “He is with worrying about you indeed. I can tell just with the look on his face. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wasn’t worried about you too Sky.”
Sky then had a little smile form across his face and he then asked Snow, “You too? I mean, you don’t have to worry about me. If anything, I’m worried about you guys all the time. I mean, you are always out there, in the line of danger and could at anytime be killed by somepony else. Blacky is old and could lose one day in a fight. Pink and Mr. Brown are always at each other’s throats…and apparently other places as well that I don’t want to think about…nor remember.
'Star…well…I’m not so sure about her although if I had to guess, she just needs a friend that she can talk to. And as for TF, well…I just feel bad for him is all. I mean I sort of understand why he hates this Knight fellow and all, but…I just fear for his own mind is all. I’m mean, he has gone to such great length just to hunt him down and everything. I mean, if anything I just feel bad for him and all…you know?”
Snow then responded with, “I bet you do Sky…I bet you do. But no need to worry about us…we are fighters, warriors. We do not fear death, we make death our bitch.”
Sky then said, “Pretty bold words there Snow. I mean. I don’t know anything about fighting, or at least yet. I’m counting on Blacky teaching me later on how to just fight with my bare hooves and all. But, I’m sure even those that know how to fight still have to worry about death hanging over their shoulder.”
Snow then said, “That is what you ponies that do not know how to fight think. We… we are fighters that will fight until our very last breath. And as far as you fighting with your hooves…good luck. It is not impossible of course, there are those that do, but it is quite difficult to master the art of war, especially when you rage it with your own bare hooves. But with you, I recommend just sticking with a gun, it suits you better."
They then stayed silent for a little bit longer until Snow said, “This here is good.”
They was in the middle of nowhere and Snow then laid down the little mini, small lantern that he was carrying with him somehow on the ground. It was hanging though on his body so he did take his mouth and removed it to put it on the ground. But to Sky, it was still questionable where Snow even held possession of that lantern. However, at least there was light to be seen. As for Sky, he was looking into the distance and tried to make out a small speck of light, and he figured it was the campfire and where the others were at too.
Snow then proceeded to put down his rifle on the ground and then said to him with his back turn, “So…we are alone now Sky…so let’s start talking.”
Sky then looked back to Snow and he then said, although with a worried look, “Sure…what did you want to talk to me about?”
Sky sounded a bit concerned about what was going on. Especially since he saw just a small lantern on the ground and Snow with his back turned, putting his rifle on the ground. To him, it was a sign of caution that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have come out with Snow in the first place. But in his mind at the same time, it could have been all a misunderstanding. So Snow then asks Sky “Cut the bullshit Sky. I know who you are.”
Sky then started to get confused and a little scared at this point.
Sky then asked Snow, “What are you even talking about Snow? I’m Sky...remember? I’m not hiding anything from you. Why on Earth would I do that? We’re friends…remember?”
Snow then turned around, but this time with intimidation in his eyes and with a little more hostility in his body language.
Snow then told Sky, “We are friends no longer Sky.”
Sky felt a wave of shock and confusion once those words hit him. He didn’t know what to say. Sure, they’re friendship only started about roughly a week ago when they all first met one another back at the cabin, but it seemed to him that they were good friends right off the bat. What went wrong he had thought to himself. To him, it was all confusing stuff to him and he didn’t want anything else bad to happen either, especially since bad things already happened like others getting eaten alive and such. So with Sky, he was hoping to resolve this matter shortly and swiftly, not to do much damage to their relationship with one another as a friend.
Snow then continued to say, “Don’t play dumb with me Sky. I know why you’re in this group. I found the note that you left behind and all I have to say is you almost got away with it. But you won’t fool everypony in this world, because ponies like you eventually slip up one day. One day you leave a little mistake behind or a mess that you was too lazy to clean up. All I have to say is you almost earned my respect as a warrior, but this is pathetic, even for a pony like you. Surely you should have seen this coming, with me asking to talk to you in private and far away from the others. The others may not know about who you really are and why you’re in this group in the first place. But for me, I am more than a fighter; more than a warrior. I am an animal, a machine that sniffs out traitors like you.”
Sky then asked Snow, “Snow...what are you even talking about? What did I do wrong? I-I’m not a traitor. I would never betray you guys. You guys are my friends, even my family.”
Snow then said to Sky, “ You’re treading on some thin ice by calling us friends Sky. I would say we were friends at one point. I even started to like you as well and felt bad for how weak you were. But of course that is how you would stab us in the back. Make us think you’re some sort of weakling in this world that just wants to be like us in one way or another. So you volunteer to go on this trip with us. But not just any trip, but a dangerous kind at that. Don’t try and be a fool Sky, no pony would believe that a little pony like you would be brave enough to go on this trip, to face danger in the place where it can be very cruel for a so called weakling that you claim to be.
'A pony like that would have chickened out last minute and stayed in their comfy and safe home where everypony else is as kind and nice as they are. Ponies like you try to act like that kind of pony, but when our backs are turned and when we least expect it…you’ll kill and burn us all. So I’m going to tell you this once…and once only…surrender now and we shall give you a fair trial among the group. Try and do anything else…well…I’ll just say that I came prepared for the second option.”
Sky was terrified, not sure what to do or where to go. He was all alone and was being accused of something that he didn’t do. He wasn’t even sure what Snow was even talking about. He thought for a moment that Snow was starting to go crazy and had lost his mind. He looked towards the distance in silence, thinking that maybe he can make a run for it and try to get back to camp to try and tell the others what was going on and perhaps, just maybe they could talk some sense into Snow.
However, Snow looked at Sky and knew exactly what he was thinking of doing and trying to run back to camp. In Snow’s mind, it meant that it could be a chance for Sky to run back to the others to make him look like he’s the traitor and Sky would then put the blame on him.
So Snow then said to Sky, “Try running and I’ll just play a little game of kill the traitor with my rifle.”
Sky then looked down towards Snow’s gun and figured out why he had put his gun down.
Then Snow said, “And trust me Sky, it can see in the dark too. The scope has night vision, my brother developed it for me. He’s very good with technology and when he got word of gun’s being a thing out in this ever crazy world, he made it specially for me. It’s also one of a kind too.”
Sky’s heart started to pound against his chest. Sky was unsure of what to do or where to go. He was all by himself and one wrong move, he could end up dead. In other words, he was trapped. If he ran, more than likely he would get shot and die and his death will be not be known to the others. If he confessed, he would be lying and still more than likely die. Although, he had nothing to confess to, he still had no clue what Snow was talking about. Everything about the situation made him scared. He then felt sad, like he wanted to break down and cry. In his mind, he wanted to go home.
He was tired of all the fighting and deaths that took place before his eyes that he wanted to just go home where it was safe. He was no fighter. He wasn’t made to go out into the world and face its cruelties. No, he was made to just live a normal, simple, easy life. A life just like any other pony would have. A kind of life where you are born into the world and raised to be a productive member of society. You go through school at different levels of education. And once you’re finished with that, you go out on your own and get a job.
You start off small, then you raise yourself as the years go by and as time flies, you find yourself a mate, do the normal ritual of making love, having a child so it can do the same thing that you have done. Then you grow old, retire, and sit in a chair until you’re on your death bed. Then as you say goodbye to the world of the living, you say hello to the land of the dead and the process rinse and repeats itself.
That’s the kind of life he was used to. That kind of life that most ponies go through that lived in Equestria, along with other places as well. But instead he was in unfamiliar territory, where a gun was pointed at his face for something that he did not do, making friends with psychopaths, killing other ponies, and hunt others just to get a sense of pride and judgment in some sort of sense. Sky just wanted to break down and cry and beg for his mommy to come and save him. He was that weak.
He knew he was that weak and though that he could change. But in that moment, in his mind, he knew he wasn’t cut out to being made into a tough guy. Instead he just wanted to give it all up and return home like TF suggested. As this was going on through Sky’s mind, Snow was thinking to himself as neither talked at that moment, instead it was just pure silence.
For Snow, he thought how much he thought he was right. He thought perhaps he could take Sky back to the group, alive or dead, and prove to Blacky that he was wrong and that he was right. That he would have been a savior to the group and that it could have ended up in shambles. But instead, he would have saved them all from a knife in the back. He was a solider after all. A solider that was trained to kill, trained to fight, trained to pay attention to all details in his surroundings and determine if there was a threat arising. And to him, Sky was that threat.
So to him, he thought he was doing the right thing and confronting Sky out in the middle of nowhere and handling the problem himself. The plan was simple. Give Sky a chance to admit that he was secretly planning to betray the group along side with another pony, either from within or from without. Then he would tie up Sky and drag him back to the group against his own will. Then they would at least give him a fair trial considering his plan didn’t go through all the way and admitted his faults.
Hopefully the jury would demand the death penalty though. And if Sky chose to run away to either go back to the group and tell the others that Snow was the traitor in the group or just run away from it all in general, he would just get down on the ground and look through the scope on his rifle and pull the trigger. All he needed was one shot to the head and all. He didn’t have a silencer though since the guns were brand new and all and weren’t quite there yet.
Of course Snow would figure the others would hear the loud bang from the gun and would question him and what he did to Sky, but he had a plan to explain to the others what he did was justified. Even if he had to make it look like an accident he would. It didn’t matter to him if the others knew the truth about Sky or not, what mattered is that they were safe from any back stabbers that wanted them all dead. To Snow, that is what he was thinking. Then, from the darkness, they heard a low growl.
It was odd and at first, both Sky and Snow thought it was nothing. But then they heard that growl again, this time getting louder and louder until it got both of their attentions. They both turned their heads to their rights and heard a growling sound ever so closely growing in size from the darkness. As it got louder and the sound grew, they both took a step back, not sure what was that noise coming from or who or what was making it. And then, a face started to appear into the light. But it wasn’t a pony face. Instead, it was a face of a bear that looked like it got fucked up one night a while back.
It had cuts and was bleeding, fur all messed up, and more importantly, the bear was not happy one bit. It even had blood coming from its head a little bit. Soon the bear fully was immersed into the light as its mouth was agape with drools dripping from its sharp teeth, and Sky was frightened. As for Snow, he was brave and thought for a moment that there was nothing to worry about as he felt like he could take on a bear.
Then he gave some second thoughts and his confidence was lowered by at least fifty percent as he remembered how dangerous bears can be. As for Sky…well to simply put it: He was fucking scared. However they both questioned as to why the bear looked like that with the cuts and everything. Not only that, but they didn’t think any bears were nearby. It seemed odd that there was a bear just standing there in front of them in the middle of the night.
Then it slowly hit Sky’s head. He then said out loud, “Is that the bear from earlier Snow?”
Snow then responded with, “It couldn’t be, we saw it die.”
Sky then said, “Well, it does look like it has the same marks of where Star hit it at. That and the bear does look extra angry at us for some reason.”
Snow then thought about what Sky had to say and then he said, “You might have a point there Sky. Maybe the bear from before is back for revenge.”
Sky then asked Snow, “What are we going to do?”
Snow then said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m making a run for it and let it have you. Then I’ll gather up the others and we’ll kill the bear for good this time.”
Sky then said, “What? No…we can’t do that. And besides, I’m your friend and as friends we need to stick together.”
Snow then said to Sky, “For the last time, we are no longer friends.”
Sky then said, “That doesn’t matter, to me we're still friends no matter what till the end. I don’t know what got you so upset with me, but as friends, we figure that part out and we patch our relationship up.”
Snow then asked Sky, “What?”
Sky then explained, “We’re friends, and friends fix their problems by talking it out. But for now we can’t run away and we can’t certainly kill this bear.”
Snow then started to get a bit confused for a moment with a mix of feelings going about inside of him. He then asked Sky, “What? What do you mean that we can’t kill the bear? It’s either let it kill us or we kill it. That is how this world works and that is how we survive and live.”
Sky then said, “Yeah but…look at it. It’s the bear from before.”
Snow then asked Sky, “So? It just means we just need to put it down for good this time.”
Sky then said, “Don’t you remember anything Snow.”
Sky then bravely started to walk up to the bear and gently walked a bit closer toward it. As he did, the bear growled a little bit, in which case Sky stopped and turned around to face Snow.
Sky then said, “This bear is a mother bear. When we came across her, she was just trying to protect her children was all. She didn’t know any better, all she knew was that we were a possible threat to her family, to her fruits of her loin. And she did what any other mother would do and protect her young ones. And after we thought we had killed it, the cubs were sad and calling out to their mother. And chances are that those cubs went on their way to try and survive in the harsh wilderness and when she woke up, she must have lost her cubs.”
Snow then said to Sky, “I don’t follow you Sky. What point are you trying to make here?”
Sky then said, “Don’t you see? We did this to her. We beat her up, but the worst part of all is we took her children away from her. And now probably, assuming they are still alive, they are lost without food and possibly shelter. They are lost without their mother. And more than likely they will die without as they weren’t ready for the world yet. And…perhaps this is a sign that it’s a second chance to make things right for once and not let somepony or anything else get killed. Maybe…just maybe we can forget about Knight and go looking for her cubs. It’s the only right thing to do you know?”
Snow then said, although he was shocked as well with what Sky had to say, “Are you crazy! We didn’t come out here to find some mother bear’s lost cubs! We came out here to find and kill a specific pony. That is our job that we have to do. And while we may not be getting paid for it, we do have a debt to pay with TF. And besides…all it is, is just an animal. An animal that does not know the meaning of life itself. If anything this animal is as dumb as a fucking rock and it can burn in Neon Hell for all that I care! This bear needs to die and not live! It is either kill or be killed…you got that Sky!?”
The bear then gave out a big and huge roar towards Snow as bits of saliva came towards him. Then, the mother bear charged towards Snow, but Snow was quick with his reflexes and got out of the way. But the mother bear wasn’t done yet, as the bear started to turn around and charge at him again. And so Snow quickly got to his gun and as quickly as he did, he looked through the scope to get a nice and clean headshot.
But sadly, he was a split second too late to pull the trigger and instead right before he was able to shoot his rifle, the bear charged at him and got him and pushed him far from his gun. Snow then rolled on the ground, somewhat hurt, luckily with no serious injury. But the bear then quickly made a quick u-turn and came towards Snow and got on top of him. However, Snow wasn’t going to just lay down there and let the bear kill him so easily, so while on his back, he tried his best to struggle and get the bear away from him. While that was all happening, Sky didn’t know what to do.
Again, he was scared. He felt bad for the mother bear, as she just wanted to see her cubs again, but at the same time, Snow was right. It was either kill or be killed. Not only that, but Sky still saw Snow as his friends even though he assumed and judged that Sky as a traitor of some kind and even tried to threaten him to kill him with his gun. And so he had a somewhat difficult choice to make.
Either kill the mother bear and let her have her own justice and let Snow die and so he didn’t have to face false persecution for being a back stabber. That part also meant shooting Snow and end suffering as well. Or save his friend even though he threatened to kill, but kill the mother bear and end her pain without giving her a chance to reunite her with her cubs. And so Sky saw the rifle on the ground. He wasn’t a perfect shooter, hell he barely knew how to shoot one. But Sky had made his decision. So Sky quickly got low to the ground and picked up the rifle with his two hooves and tried to hold it up. It was difficult with hooves and all, but there was a trick to it all, especially with holding a gun and pulling the trigger.
However he had to make his move fast before the bear made his decision for him. And so Sky quickly looked through the scope and had one shot at this. He tried his best to aim. He wasn’t so much aware of the wind or where the bullet’s path would go. All that made sense to him if the center of the scope lined up with the target’s head correctly. And so he tried his best to stay still and aimed up his shot and pulled the trigger.
The bullet then flew through the air and went through the bear's think skull while splattering it’s brains everywhere on the ground. The bear then fell on top of Snow, but with all of Snow’s strength, he pushed the mother bear’s corpse off of him and got up and silently looked at Sky. At first, he still assumed he was the traitor that did not confess just yet. But then he thought about it some more and perhaps Blacky was right.
If he was the traitor, he wouldn’t have saved him. Instead he would have let him die and got away with it scot free. And so without words, Snow started to reconsider naming Sky his friend again. Granted though, it didn’t feel right labeling Sky as innocent just yet. He still felt suspicious about him and his actions from the past. So he was going to keep a close eye on him instead of judging right away.
With Sky however, his hooves were trembling. It was the first time that he had killed anything at all while on this trip, and it wasn’t even a kill or be killed situation for him. Instead it was a poor mother bear that was just upset that she was beaten up and had lost her little cubs. He wasn’t sure what to say. He had killed a living thing that had precious life inside of it. He killed something that was innocent as well and only wanted justice for itself. He didn’t know how to feel, all he knew back home was kindness and friendship and that it creates harmony amongst all living things.
But instead he shot and killed a mother bear that didn’t know any better and instead saved a pony's life. He started to question which life was more valuable, the mother bear's life or another pony’s life. It didn’t make sense to him at all, but that is how the world is.
And so with him too, without a single world, looked towards Snow and pretty much still considered him to be a friend. So Snow got close to him, picked up his little lantern and burned out the flame in it and picked up his gun as well and put it on his back. Then he got Sky up from the ground and they both silently walked back to the camp site without another word between them.
BACK IN THE PRESENT…
And so Sky was thinking just that. A little flashback to all what had happened before. It was haunting him like a ghost. It bothered him so much that he had to kill that mother bear.
He didn’t want to do it because it was in his nature of his soul to be kind to almost every living thing. That kindness and laughter can always make a bully become your friend. That is what he was taught. And with the Elements of Harmony proving that friendship is magic in some shape or form, he then questioned about what happened.
If he was willing to put forth the effort to being kind and gentle to those that were hurt around him, then how come the world still didn’t turn into sunshine and rainbows? How come nothing turned out right in the end? It didn’t make sense to him. Then again, the group that he was with was used to that sort of thing. They were used to that kind of world. They were used to that kind of truth and they lived it every day, especially with Blacky. He had to live through a war, but not just any war, but The Great War. He saw his brothers in arms fall and die in agony and pain.
He saw the horrors of this world had to offer. As for Snow, he lived through many wars and it was his thing to shoot and kill. He was born and raised as a soldier. He was trained to kill. He was trained to be tough, something that Sky wanted to be, but couldn’t. Even Snow stood up to a bear and wasn’t going down without a fight, but with Sky, he would have went down and screamed for help more quickly than a first comment on a You Tube video.
As for Mr. Brown, he was messed up in the head so much that he rapes his own sister every now and then and even had intercourse with his own mother. He embraced the idea of incest and was also a big loud mouth idiot, but yet a big loud mouth idiot that knew how to survive in this world and kill. And as for Pink, she is used to being raped all the time, but yet doesn’t take it personally. Instead of being traumatized and acting like a victim and crying about it, she gets right up back on her hooves and fights back, literally. And then she doesn’t make a big deal about later on.
Although she did start to get a little crazy afterwards obviously. As for Star, well, she is mysterious, but yet powerful in a way. Her silence says it all in a way. And as for TF, he has been through a lot too and was willing to get revenge on a pony that he hasn't seen in years by releasing a cannibal group on to innocent ponies that were doing their own business and were trying to make an honest bit for their families.
However, it the end, what happened? He was so used to being that kind and sweet pony and have a heart for others that he wasn’t used to killing it. To him, this world was fucked up. He didn’t know to feel or what to say about it. All he knew that is in his heart, that he needed to change. He knew he needed to act tough from the start, he just didn’t count on it being so difficult to achieve and that it was starting to take a toll on him.
But if he was going to do what he said he was going to do, he was going to have to toughen it up. Although it wouldn’t be an easy process, but he knew he had one friend that he could trust to help him get the way that he wants to be, and that was Blacky. Not only that, but he was at that age where most ponies would want to pass on information to the younger ponies and to keep it all flowing and such. That and he did seem to be wise and everything. But at that point, he just wanted to wait just a while longer.
He wanted to hold just a little longer before asking Blacky because he wasn’t quite in the mood quite just yet. He needed to think about stuff and life itself even and comprehend it all in his mind. He needed to think about the actions he took and what it meant as a whole before he could take a step further on the road to getting used to the whole world and how to fight back and survive it all. He just needed sometime to himself just for a little bit. So at that point, he just ignored all comments that the others were talking about…mostly.
And as that was said, Blacky then asked out loud, “I wonder what happened?”
Snow then said to Blacky, “I know what happened of course. To give you the short version since it is a bit long and lengthy, me and Sky were arguing. You could say we had a little fight, but out of nowhere we hear a noise, a growling noise from the darkness. At first we thought it was nothing, but come to find out it was a bear . The same bear that attacked you Blacky.”
Blacky then had a surprised look on his face and he then said, “I thought that bear was dead?”
Snow then said, “We all did. Especially after Star had stabbed it a good few times…am I right Star?”
Star just stared back blankly and once again, silently.
Snow then continued, “Anyways, the bear started to come after me while Sky was hesitant on killing it, but the bear got the best of me and I almost could have died. But thankfully Sky over there saved me at the last second before the bear had a chance at ripping my throat apart. Shot her right in the head too.”
Blacky then had another surprised look, but this time it was a relaxed kind of surprise look, on his face. He looked over towards Sky, who still had his back turned towards him.
Blacky then said, “Sky?”
TF then commented, “I have to admit, I didn’t think Sky had it in him to do such a thing. He seemed to be a such a pony that wouldn’t want to hurt a little fly. But it seems he proved me wrong. He can put up a fight, especially when the matter of life and death is involved. He could have let Snow die and save the trouble of killing the bear himself and instead run away and cry for help. But instead he took the liberty of finishing that bear, the bear that apparently Star Glitter never killed.”
TF then looked towards Star and he looked at her with those angry and disappointed kind of eyes.
TF then continued with, “All I have to say to you Sky, whether you're listening on not, you might just have what it takes to survive in this world. I honestly had thought you would have chickened out and left us just so you can save yourself and go back to pretending that you’re in some kind of world that is friendly and where we all hold hooves and sing kumbaya together, all in one peaceful song for the whole world to hear. But, instead you stayed, learned, and you proved yourself. By the end of this trip Sky, you are sure to impress your girl.”
And so, after TF had said those things, Sky never responded back. He was still down by the whole thing, but he did listen to what TF had to say about it all. To him, it was alright. He did do what it took to survive but it still bothered him so.
And so, with that said, Blacky then said to Sky, “It’s ok Sky…we’ll talk about it later. I know it must upset you what you had to do, but…everything is fine now.”
Sky took to heart with what Blacky ha to say to him. He felt a little more comfortable that Blacky had said that and felt like he was a true friend indeed. And so, as that was said, Pink was still standing there.
And as for her, Pink then said, “Alright, alright, alright. We get it, some fucking shit happened, that kid over grew a pair of balls, and kills a bitch. Not a big deal. I was killing bitches when I was only a little filly and they were always yapping and barking."
Blacky then asked, “What do you mean by bitches?”
Pink then said, “Duh….girl animals...for an old fella like you, you sure are dumb.”
Blacky then said, “Well that isn’t what bitches actually means. It actual is referring to girl dogs.”
Pink then said, “Ohhhhh….so is that what they mean by the phrase son of a bitch?”
Blacky then said, “Well kind of…but…look why are we even discussing this right now? Right now I need to know what happened back there Snow with you and Sky.”
Snow then said, “I have nothing to say. We had a little fight, he didn’t say anything, we fought a bear, and we’re alive and well and telling you the tale. What is so hard to get from that Blacky?”
Blacky then said, “Well what is hard is that I know you’re accusing him of being a traitor. And let me just say if you would have killed him, I would have fucking strangled you and showed no mercy at all.”
Snow then said, “That’s ok. I’m sure even if I did kill him, we would have fought too. And just for the record, I would have killed you. You may have served in The Great War, but I served in many wars, including civil wars where it’s brother versus brother. Sister, versus sister. Families torn apart and societies burning to the ground. I’ve been through so much worse than you have.”
Blacky then responded back with, “Oh…so you think you some hot shit uh? Well let me tell you something there fuck boy… you’re talking a big talk and treading some real thin ice with me. I’VE BEEN THROUGH A HELL AND MORE HELL THAN YOU WOULD EVER SEE IN YOUR FUCKING DAYS OF WAR! I HAVE LOST FRIENDS, LOVEDS ONES, MY PARENTS, EVEN A MARE THAT I DATED FOR YEARS AND WANTED TO MARRY! I HAVE LOST IT ALL AND RIGHT NOW I DON’T NEED ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW!!!”
Snow then said, “OH…SO YOU WANT TO FIGHT!? IS THAT IT!? WELL I WASN’T PLANNING ON FIGHTING BETWEEN US SO CALLED FRIENDS, BUT I DON’T MIND KILLING ANOTHER PONY, ESPECIALLY AN OLD PONY THAT NEEDS TO BE PUT OUT OF HIS MISERY!”
And then Mr. Brown finally came out from the bushes and passed up Sky without looking and said, “What is going on with all of this yelling?! Can’t any of you see that I’m trying to fucking masturbate here!?”
Pink then gave a loud sigh and then said, “Oh god fucking help me please, not this again!”
Blacky then asked Pink, “What? He has done this before too?”
Pink then said, “Oh he has, in fact he does it everywhere he fucking goes. He even jacks off at a graveyard and cums on the tombstone . He even jerked off into a casket of a dead pony.”
Mr. Brown then said, “I’ll have you know that I came into a casket twice. Once is when I dug up a grave to rob some dead old mare her jewelry that she had on her and I found her skeleton to be hot and sexy. So I skull fucked her so hard that even her dead corpse was moaning in pleasure and I came into the eye sockets. And then there was a pony laid out in the funeral home and I fucked that dead mare too and that dead body liked it as well. That and I did jack off too on both of the dead bodies.”
Pink then said, “You see!? This is what I’m talking about right here. This fucking son of a bitch right here is such a sick fuck that I don’t even know why we even have him in our group at all.”
Mr. Brown then said, “Well fuck you too bitch. I have a mind of mine own to cuck you out of the group too because you’re such a fucking hogger of the air we fucking breath. That precious air could have been so valuable, but instead you’re hogging it all up and making these other guys into retards. YOU HEAR THAT YOU BITCH!? THEY ARE TURNING INTO FUCKING RETARDS BECAUSE YOU’RE ONE FAT SACK OF CRAP THAT’S TAKING UP ALL THE AIR! NOW THEY’RE FUCKING BRAIN DEAD BY THIS POINT BECAUSE THEYR’RE SO RETARDED! WHY DON’T YOU GO OFF AND DIE LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE…HUH!? YOU FUCKING SHIT EATING PICKLE FARTING, CRAP BARREL WHORE BITCH!?YOU FAT FUCK!?”
Pink then said, “Well…look who's fucking talking. Now you want me, your own sister to die. How surprising. Apparently you want the whole family to die now. You couldn’t just leave it at killing our Ma and Pa, but you just want to kill me so bad too…isn’t it?”
Blacky then said, “Wait a minute? He killed your parents? I thought it was a group of random ponies paid by your Ma?”
Pink then said, “What on earth are you even talking about? Wait? Did he fucking tell you another one of his tall tales again?”
Blacky didn’t answer and only just stared at her.
Pink then said, “Oh god fucking damn it! You just have to go off and telling lies again don't you fucking lazy bastard!”
Mr. Brown then responded back with, “Oh piss off you bitch! You know that happened and you’re just making the whole story up when you tell it!”
Pink then said, “Now you know our Ma didn’t seduce. In fact she thought you were one of the world's ugliest son of a bitch that she had ever seen in her fucking life! She even regretted not getting that abortion when she was pregnant with you. But instead our Pa just wanted to have a son and so here’s that bastard’s child right in front of our fucking eyes! You may say I’m taking u all the air, but you’re a waste of life. And besides, why would Ma even want to seduce you. She had a vow to stick with Pa and she was serious about it too.”
Snow then asked, “So…what is your side of the story then?”
Pink then said, “I’ll tell you the truth instead of this son of a bitch’s lies to you.”
Blacky then said, “Fine then, but can I ask you all a quick question since you are all here and I want to ask it before I forget? Have any of you heard of such a disease called Kazuhria “Empty an M9 into the welfare line” Miller Disease?”
Mr. Brown then said, “Oh...l’ve heard about that disease before.”
Snow then butted in and said, “It’s a very well known disease, didn’t you know it?”
Pink then said, “I’ve heard about it too many of times. It’s very terrible when you get it and it is not pretty whatsoever."
Sky also butted in and he said, “Yeah I’ve heard of it too. It’s a nasty disease. A cousin of mine even got it once and let’s just say he is not the same anymore. He used to be so talkative. But whenever he is in the room, he’s just kind of a buzz kill now and sometimes it’s just sort of awkward and creepy how he doesn’t even speak anymore.”
Pink then said, “I know what you’re talking about sweetie. I knew a girl of mine, she was just sixteen years old and that poor baby caught the Kazuhria “Empty an M9 into the welfare line” Miller Disease and it killed her. Doctor says that in some rare cases it can kill a pony.”
Snow then said, “I know how you feel. Once during a war, many of my comrades caught it. We believe it was used too for war and that the other side brought it over to wipe us all out. Surprisingly I was the only one that didn’t catch the disease and on the day they were supposed to have been crashing in and taking our fort, I killed them all instead. Sad part is though, there is no cure for such a thing, despite it being around for millions of years.”
Mr. Brown then said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I blame the zebras. Those zebras must have started it with their whole fancy smancy magic of theirs. I mean, the whole world’s problems is because of those fucking zebras, I’m telling you. I know they say it’s a conspiracy theory and all, but I know for a fucking fact it’s those zebras. They just want a new world order and one day, I’m telling you, they’re going to round all the ponies up and put them in gas chambers and only leave 500,000 alive to they can brainwash and control ponykind. But you know what though, those zebras better stay out of Equi, or else they the bullseye! In other words they need to stay out fucking Dixie and ship those miggers back to their country. Fucking…zebra mother fuckers.”
Blacky then looked at TF to wait and see if he would give him a response. But instead, TF only gave a small smirk that pretty much said, 'I’m right you know. I told you it was an actual disease.'
And so Blacky then said, “Alright then, since that’s out of the way, what really happened then with you and your parents?”
Pink then said, “Well, where do I even start? You see, we were a families of bank robbers. We all robbed banks, it was in the family blood. We were also always on the move too. Now my brother was born first while I was born second. But a certain somepony didn’t like that I was even born so out of revenge and all that shit, my brother basically killed my Ma and Pa. Although it wasn’t just for those reasons either. He was also high and drunk the day he did it. He even thought for a moment that Ma and Pa was coming after him with a knife while in reality they were just trying to talk to him.
'And besides, my brother didn’t really like Ma and Pa anyways. He always hated them. Even in his drawings that he made when he was nine, he drew picture of putting a knife in their backs and killing them. Hell, he even drew a pictures of me when I was a baby being stabbed in the back. Well, long story short, after he killed Ma, he raped her corpse and burned the bodies. I’m not sure why he didn’t kill me, but I think it’s because he had the hots for me or something like that. And I don’t mean to toot my own vagina, but I am one sexy piece of pie that stallions wants to eat my asshole like it’s their dinner. But you get the idea. Afterwards, we just lived on our own lives at our parent’s house, sometimes moving to different places.
'I’ve told my brother before though plenty of times to go see some kind of fancy doctor to check up on what happened when he had that mental breakdown of his. But as always, he is one stubborn son of a bitch and every time we argue he just ends up trying to rape me. But I don't lie, sometimes I do need a good fuck so I just let him have his way with me, but most of the time whenever he tries to make his move on me, I just end up stomping on his balls repeatedly until he decides to give up, which is surprisingly takes a few hours.”
Mr. Brown then said, “Yup…it’s because I’ve got balls of steel…literally, my testicles are made from steel.”
Pink then said, “Yes well…other than that, we just hire some gang members to help us out on our robberies from time to time and that’s basically it. There was no such thing as me going to the hospital. If I were to have gone to the hospital, I would be recognized right off the bat because we are wanted criminals in several places out in the west part of Equestria. In fact we have a bounty of over half a million bits on our heads too. Aside from that, there’s the truth for you. In any case, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO LIE TO THESE POOR BASTARDS!?”
Pink had yelled at her brother and Mr. Brown of course didn’t take it very well.
Mr. Brown then said, “WELL FUCK YOU TOO BITCH! OBVIOUSLY YOUR STORY IS THE LIE HERE! NOW I KNOW FOR A FUCKING FACT THAT OUR DEAR OLD MA, may her soul rest in peace, DID IN FACT TRY TO FUCK ME WHILE YOU AND PA WAS POSSIBLY TRYING TO DO THE SAME THING! PA ALWAYS HAD HIS EYES ON YOUR PRETTY LITTLE ASS AND EVEN WANTED TO SPANK IT SO HARD THAT HE ENDED UP JACKING OFF IN FRONT OF YOU THAT ONE TIME WHEN WE WERE AT THE DINNER TABLE! SO OBVIOUSLKY, MY FUCKED UP SISTER’S STORY IS A LIE AND I’M THE ONE TELLING THE TRUTH!”
Pink then said, “Oh really…then how come that one time when we took you to that fancy doctor, that one doctor that deals with the mind and shit, and he told you and all of us that you had schizophrenia?”
Blacky then interrupted and then asked Pink “Wait, I thought you said you wouldn’t go to doctors or else they would recognize you?”
Pink then said, “We know a guy, that fancy doctor with the fancy name and medicine that doesn’t rat us out thankfully, but that’s only because we pay him off every year to keep his trap shut. Anyways, what do you have to say to that big brother?”
Mr. Brown then said, “Oh please…just because I hear voices in my head that’s telling me to kill all of you right now doesn’t mean I have some sort of problem…alright?”
Blacky then said, “I think you actually do have a problem there.”
Mr. Brown then said, “No I ain’t have a problem there mister. For fuck’s shake…some ponies and their retarded minds sometimes.”
Pink then asked Mr. Brown, “Uh huh…and on that night when you killed our parents, I suppose you also heard voices that night in your head?”
Mr. Brown then said, “Of course I did. I always hear voices. I also see things too…like that pony over there. In fact…where did that pony even come from? HEY YOU! YEAH YOU FUCKER!? GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KNCOK YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN YOU FUCK EATING SHIT BAG PISSING WEARING DOG TURD SON OF A BITCH!”
Mr. Brown had pointed to a pony that he claimed to have seen and the others looked at to where he was pointing at. There was no other pony there to be seen aside from the darkness that surrounded them all around the campfire.
Everyone then looked back towards Mr. Brown and Pink then said to him, “See…there’s no pony there at all. I don’t even know why I’m still with you because I could have left you in the dust years ago?”
Mr. Brown then said, “That’s because you can’t resist my almighty penis baby! OH YEAH!”
Mr. Brown then proceeded to hump the air just once.
Pink then responded with, “I don’t even know why I even bother to waste my fucking time with you at all…you know. I mean, after this trip is done and over with, I might just end up leaving your sorry ass.”
Mr. brown then said, “Wait…what? No you ain’t you fucking bitch ass hoe. You don’t leave until I say you can leave. Besides…we’re family…and family sticks together.”
Pink then said to her brother, “Oh yeah…then please tell me what happened on that night when you killed Ma and Pa please, because I actually never heard your side of the story, assuming there is one.”
Mr. Brown then said, “Alright then…it was simple. It was late at night, I was piss ass drunk and taking a wiz outside. Then all of a sudden this tall and strange pony came up to me and told me to kill Ma and Pa. I then said to him, ‘I ain’t going to fucking do that.’ Then I think he roofed me because next thing you know, he smiles at me like some creepy son of a bitch and I ended up blacking out and not remembering what happened next. Next thing you know, I’m in the living room, covered in blood and guts with the two dead bodies in front of me. Those two dead bodies being of precious Ma and Pa of course. I mean I tried to tell you too that night when we had to dump the bodies in the acid tub that it wasn’t me and it was that tall pony that did it. And so to this very day I am after that tall pony, whoever he may be that committed the actual crime and not…you bitch! And besides…he might be lurking in these very woods as we speak…..ooooooooooooo.”
Pink then said, “Alright then, I have just about had enough of your fucking problems and your talking for one night. For right now, I want you as far away from me as you possibly can get from me and we may or may not talk about this in the morning.”
Mr. Brown then said, “Sure can sis! When dawn breaks through the horizon, you’re going to be having my dick in your mouth and sucking it dry baby bitch!”
Pink did not responded to that comment that her brother had made to her. She then found her a spot near Sky, who was then starting to take notice of what was going on around him at that point.
With the others, TF then said to the rest, “Pink may have a point. Morning might be coming up soon before you know it. It’s best that we all find a nice spot on the cold hard floor and just go to sleep on it, considering we don’t have too much with us and such. I suggest we all get some rest. We still need to hunt down a pony tomorrow. And who knows…he might have some friends to come along for the ride. Good night everypony, and may Luna be in your dreams.”
Then everyone in the group started to spread out to find their own little spot and since they were ponies, of course they could find a nice spot on the ground and curl up and go to sleep. It’s just that ponies would normally find a nice bed to sleep in, but since they were ponies, they were able to just do that, although being warm was still a problem, but they also let the fire continue to burn throughout the night and keep them warm. However, as Blacky was about to find a spot for himself to go to sleep, Sky finally gathered up the courage to get back up on his hooves and went over to Blacky slowly.
With Blacky, he noticed this new move that Sky had made and wondered what Sky wanted.
So instead of lying down on the ground, Sky then asked Blacky once he got over to him, “So uhh…Blacky…can I talk to you for a moment? I want to talk to you in private, but you know, not that kind of ‘private.”
Blacky then said, “It’s no problem at all. We can talk. Let’s just go over there.”
Blacky then pointed towards the direction of where the cliff was at and it was a bit away from the others so they could at least talk with a low voice. So they both went over there and as they reached the edge of the cliff, they still saw the cannibals from before still doing their blood orgy.
However this time around, it was starting to die down and the cannibals were going their own ways and going to sleep by making quick beds and blankets out of the skins and bones from their victims. And as for the what laid beyond the cannibals still looked beautiful as always and had not changed one bit since he last saw it not long ago.
Although the only difference though was that the night sky changed a bit. The stars were in a different position this time around and the moon was at its highest point in the sky, signaling that it was halfway through the night for them. As Blacky saw it, he then looked towards Sky, but Sky wasn’t looking at Blacky right away.
Instead, he was looking out into the same distance as well. He ignored the cannibals from down below, but instead concentrated on looking outwards towards the horizon and seeing what there was to see. To him, it was a gorgeous site to see, and it even placed a little smile on his face for a while.
But after a minute or two, his smile slowly disappeared and it slowly transformed into a frown with a look of depression on his face.
Blacky noticed the change in Sky’s emotions of course and so he asked him, “What’s the problem with you Sky?”
Sky then remained silent for a few seconds but then soon gave a sigh.
He then said, “It’s nothing…”
Blacky then asked him, “Well it sure is got to be something because I’m sure you didn’t ask to talk to me in private just to say nothing.”
Sky still didn’t look at Blacky just yet and continued to focus into the distance.
Sky then said to him, “It’s sad really, what this world is. What it has become. I used to think this world was a great place. Sure it had its problems, but the more I stick with you guys, the more that I am starting to see that I was wrong. I’m guessing this world was never easy in the beginning, was it?” Sky then closed his eyes for a bit and then slowly looked up and gave his full attention towards Blacky’s face.
Blacky then responded with, “Yeah, you bet your ass it was never easy from the start. If I know my history, it wasn't easy for the Council of Alicorns either.”
Sky then was a bit confused and he then asked Blacky, “Council of Alicorns?”
Blacky then said to Sky, “It’s a long story that happened long ago. Way longer before Princess Celestia or Princess Luna was even born. Hell, it was long before even Equestria was a country. But I’ll give you a history lesson later. But for now, just spit it out what’s bothering and maybe, I can help you.”
Sky then said, “Well, I was just getting to that. You see, this world is hard. I get that. It can be cruel, and while I don’t fully understand that, I get it still. But before then, I didn’t understand what the world really was like. Here I was, born into this world, thinking it’s filled with sunshine and rainbows and that friendship and harmony is always the answer to everything. That you use love and kindness instead of violence and war. But now I see that can’t always be the answer to all the problems. Sometimes you’re going to have to kill something in this world just to live.
'And everypony else back home and pretty much the majority of Equestria just doesn’t quite see that either. I mean they know it’s the world is filled with danger so they sort of fight back…but yet never go that far and get blood on their hooves. And that's where they just don’t see how much further they need to go in order to fully survive in this world. I don’t get the other ponies, but for right now, I’m starting to get the hang of it…I guess. You see Blacky, I REALY need your help. I mean here I am, trying to be a tough pony for my marefriend, thinking that it’s all going to be alright and it won’t be a problem at all, but now I’m starting to see the side that tells me that it’s not what I think it is.
'The problem that I’m having Blacky is…well…should I even continue on anymore? Should I continue to go on this trip with you and try and learn the ways that you guys do it? Or should I just call it quits and go back home and try and pretend none of this ever happened in the first place and I go back to my own little happy land and leave it like that. I mean, so far the ponies of Equestria has survived so far, so they have to be doing something right at least. Just as long as nothing really bad happens, everything will be fine. I’ll just be stuck is all between walls that I’ll never get out of.
'I’ll be forever trapped in a web of lies to the reality of this world and will never see the light of truth ever again. But then again, I’m just fine with that. So…Blacky? What do you think I should do? Should I stay or…should I go now?”
Blacky was about to respond, but then he stopped himself. He was thinking to himself for a bit, wondering what responses he should give, but yet he wasn’t quite sure. Sure he could tell him that everything will be fine if he stays. He would be learning how to kill and not be a wimp about seeing a pony die in front of him. But then he knew it in his heart that wasn’t the right thing to do, but instead he felt like he needed him to go and run back home. To run back and to never look back. It was because this wasn’t the right kind of world for him that he needed to live in. His world belonged to the ponies that was friendship and kindness in their hearts and while they can fight each other at times, they were still good ponies with hearts.
But in Blacky’s world (and mine), it wasn’t easy. There was always death and destruction around him. You had to kill not just one, but many ponies. And not just ponies, but anything that is living and breathing you would have to kill if it meant for survival. You would have to deal with the crazies and those that are stronger than you. You would have to deal with some serious shit that either meant life or death.
It would mean a life filled bloodshed and regret. And none of it was easy either way to live with. You might live some regrets that you’ve made in the past, but you also might make tons of enemies that will want you dead and will not hesitate to kill you if they have the chance. And if it really went far, it might involve dealing with gods and demons. Yes, that life would be filled with the Devil’s world, where pain and suffering that almost never ends. And Blacky knew he was caught in a tough spot.
At first, he thought he knew the answer, but yet Sky was growing up and soon he will be an old stallion like he was and so, he knew he had the answer to Sky’s question. Blacky then said to Sky after a brief moment of silence, “Well, I don’t really have much to tell you Sky. You’re still a kid and all despite you being somewhat near an adult age, I know…but you’re still young. And one day you'll be my age and more than likely you’ll be the one giving the advice to the younger ones. So, if you want my answer…I suggest you make that decision on your own.
'I know that isn’t much help, but whether you stay or you go, you’re still going to have to make the toughest of choices in your life, either it be out here in the world filled with danger and death. Or back home where it’s safe and sound and most ponies are nice to you most of the time. You’re going to have to make the choice by yourself Sky. It’s a tough choice, I know, and that’s why you have to make it. But whatever you choose, you have my support, and maybe the others assuming they don’t hate you for it or look down on you. You get what I’m saying?”
Sky then took a moment to think about it but then eventually said to Blacky, “I understand you loud and clear. But it’s such a tough decision. I mean, I want to stay, but yet I get why I can’t stay here. I’m not born for this kind of world. I’m not made for that kind of thing. Back home, I was good at doing simple and easy work. But this, this is something I just can’t seem to handle at all. I just…don’t know what to choose this kind of world right now.”
Blacky then explained to Sky, “Well…what does your heart say Sky? In fact, what does your mind say? What feelings that you have in your gut tell you what to do? More than likely it’ll be your answer to your question.”
Sky then thought for a moment in silence as the crackling of fire was nearby and the bugs were about, making their natural noises.
Sky then eventually said to Blacky, “Well, I would rather stay here. I know that might not be the best choice I have ever made in my life…but…it’s what my gut tells me and right now it’s telling me to stick with you guys. That I might just pick up on something and I might become a better pony overall for it too.”
Blacky then said, “Well…that’s good to know. Truth be told I’m not all for that choice, but it’s your choice. But, I’ve got a question for you Sky. Two actually…what made you think in the first place that going on this trip would make you into a tough pony? Like what did you have in mind at the time?”
Sky then said, “Well…it’s sort of embarrassing now but…I thought I would learn to have respect. That I would know how to do certain things. That I would learn how to toughen up and not be so afraid of many things. But I honestly thought it was going to be easy. I thought I was going to just go through like, I don’t know, doing certain things that a normal pony wouldn’t do. Or do something like on the lines of a training camp for the soldiers. Funny enough Blacky...I think I recall having relatives in The Great War. Granted I don’t know who he or she was, but still.”
Blacky then said to Sky, “Well, that’s something then huh?”
Sky then smiled a bit and gave a small chuckle and said, “I guess it is.”
Blacky then also gained a small smile as well after he saw how Sky was feeling when he saw that smile on Sky’s face.
Blacky then asked Sky, “Also…why did you ask me if you should stay or you should go? I mean I thought you had your answer before you came here with us? You seemed pretty confident from before you know?”
Sky then said, “Yeah well…things change and…my mind was changed. Things change you know and I had second thoughts and everything and I had to think about it some more…especially with what happened of course. I mean, after I killed that bear, that mother bear, I didn’t know how to feel. I felt bad for it, I had pity for it in my heart. I understand why that bear was there, but then I had to kill it. I mean when I went with you guys, I didn’t think I would have to kill, more or less ponies.
'I didn’t think I would have to kill other living things, the living things that had no reason to die at all. Sure maybe crooks and bad guys and such…but the innocent lives though? I…wasn’t prepared for that mentality to arise. I thought it was going to be alright. But in the end it wasn't. After that whole bear thing, I just had to think to myself for a moment and really consider and evaluate what I was doing here at all. I mean…what am I doing with you guys? I’m not doing much other than observing and whining. And I realize I’m not fit for this kind of world, this kind of place.
'I’m not meant to be with you guys. I’m meant to be back home with my family, with my marefriend, sitting at a table amongst them and having a nice dinner. Having friendly conversations and laughing. Maybe cuddling with my girl in front of a fire place and sleeping together. Maybe even…making love to each other. But instead I’m here. I’m guessing that is not what my cutie mark meant for me to do.
'I’m wondering, is it all worth it just for my girl back home? Am I even doing right by her by doing this? I could get myself killed and that would defiantly make her up set and who knows…maybe even get her so depressed that she commits suicide even. Tell me Blacky, as least tell me that all of this and what I’ve been through was worth it for my girl?”
Blacky then had his smile disappeared and he then said to him, “Well to tell you the truth, I know something about girls. But the thing about them is you don’t have to go too far for them. I mean sometimes you do, but more than likely they aren't for you. More than likely they only want to use you at that point. But for those girls that really love you, you just need to do why they fell in love with you in the first place. Whether it’s because you’re funny or you look cute to them, or maybe the common interest that you both had with each other. You get the point don’t you Sky?
'Now am I saying that this whole trip would have been pointless, not exactly, no. I mean you get something out of it and your girl will more than likely get something out if it. But in the end, you didn’t have to come this far for her. You could have been at home safe and just spent time with her. And more than likely just spending time with her was more than enough for her as that is where sometimes couples make their memories together. Just listening and talking to each other throughout the day and into the quiet night where they get even closer and either cuddle or…fucking. But you get the idea. And believe me, I know something about girls, I used to have one once. But long story short, she died from a disease and…I basically lost my entire world after she died.”
Sky then said, “Wow…that’s kind of sad. I’m sorry that you had to lose her. But...wait...what about you said earlier and...oh never mind...maybe I'm remembering it all right.”
Blacky then had a little smile on his face when Sky said that and he then said to him, “It’s alright their kid, I’ll see her again someday. Sometimes I still dream of her you know? I can still see her and that I’m right next to her death bed and she’s smiling at me. And we’re talking and we’re both making each other laugh. Then at the very end of the dream she tells me goodbye…and then I cry when I wake up. But I pull it together and remind myself that I’m glad that I met her and I made her my marefriend back then and hope to see her again when I die and go to Heaven. And as for what I said earlier...yeah that was...a lie...sorry about that. But...I had a reason though, I assure you.”
Sky then said while also giving another smile to Blacky, “Oh...well...I hope you do…but…what is heaven exactly. I’ve heard about it before, but it still makes me wonder what heaven is like.”
Blacky then said, “Who knows? Only the dead ponies know that answer, but I can assure you that there is a heaven out there…somewhere I just don’t know what it’s like. Or why we even have to spend it living down here where there’s nothing but pain and suffering. I mean if we can just go up there and live happily ever after, why bother live down here, you know?
'But then again, it might be a different experience between living and being dead…so who knows…who knows. However, I am aware of some ponies that don't believe in the afterlife. I guess I can understand though, the younger generations are becoming more and more skeptical and such. They refuse to listen to their elders and go off on their own. But I get it I guess. I mean nopony really knows for sure if there is a Heaven up above...but...I'm sure it's there. I'm sure there is a god and that Princess and Princess Luna is her children. I'm sure of it. I believe in it.”
Sky then asked Blacky, “So…when are we going to continue my gun training? You know, since we started a while back but really haven’t done much with it.”
Blacky then said, “We’ll see. Maybe when this trip is done and over with, I’ll just teach you afterwards. There’s a lot to learn you know, and since these guns are brand new in this world, I’ll also still have a lot to learn. But as far as mastering the basics, I’m your expert. But I’m sure as time advances and the guns gets better as they are produced, you're going to have to learn on your own, but I’m sure you would be able to handle it though. As far as anything else goes though, I’ll teach you how to fight with your hooves as we’re still going, how does that sound to you?”
Sky then said, “Sounds like a nice deal to me…but do you promise?”
Blacky then said, “Promise what?”
Sky then asked Blacky, “Promise me when this is all over that you’ll teach me and that we will be in contact and friends forever.”
Blacky then said, “I can promise you that after all of this is over, I’ll teach you. I can also promise you that we will continue to be friends too. And I’m sure the others will continue to be friends with you I guess. As far as being in contact with one another as the years go by, I can’t promise that. My life is always on the move. For you, it is not. But don’t worry, everything will be ok in the end one day. One day… That I can definitely promise you.”
Sky then said, “Ok…thank you…for promising and everything.”
Blacky then said to Sky, “You’re welcome.”
Sky then asked Blacky, “But uhh…can I get that history lesson now about the Council of the Alicorns?”
Blacky then hesitated at first, but then said, “Sure…but real quick. There’s a lot to learn of course from the past so I’ll just give you the short version of it all. Long…long…long ago, before even Equestria was a thing or there were kings and queens of Unicorns and Pegasi…there was a time where no pony cared what you were. If you were Pegasi or Unicorns, there was no particular leader to your kind or anything…but there was Alicorns. Now with alicorns, they are rare nowadays and they were still rare to see back in those days, but they were a little bit more common is all.
'In fact there was some families that were nothing but alicorns. And it was a time when regular ponies couldn’t become alicorns if they could ascend to that level, there were only natural born alicorns at first. And to all the regular ponies, they saw them as something special. They held great power and could do many things with magic. And so a wise and elder group of alicorns untied and formed a council to rule over, to govern, and to protect every other pony that was out there in this world. There were other creatures of course…but the Council of the Alicorns were basically leaders of all ponykind. You just don’t hear much about them because they are mostly forgotten and the history books don’t even mention them nowadays. You only hear it through old scholars that keep very old books documenting the alicorns or through old and wise ponies or something like that.”
Sky then said, “Wow…I didn’t know that was a thing before. What else do you know about them?”
Blacky then said, “Well, there’s a lot more to them…but…that was the short version I just told you. If you want the rest, maybe I‘ll tell you later after we’re finished with this job or else we’ll be out here all night long. And right now we could certainly get some sleep, shouldn’t we?”
Sky then said, “Yeah…we should…I’m tired and everything. It’s been…a very long day for me. A day filled with cannibals and bears coming back for revenge.”
They both then went silent but Sky then looked up to the night sky and Blacky eventually looked up with him too.
Sky then asked Blacky, “How many stars are there Blacky? And why are there stars to begin with?”
Blacky then said, “I don’t know kid…but the stars do look pretty tonight don’t they?”
Sky then said, “They look pretty every night.”
Blacky then responded with, “Well I guess Princess Luna is doing a fine job as always I suppose. I mean, if she slacked off tonight, the stars would look like real shit I guess. Not only that, but you can see the constellations…don’t you see them?”
Sky then said, “I’m not very good with the constellations. I could never remember them or even make them out. I don’t even know where the North Star looks like.”
Blacky then asked Sky, “Didn’t pay much attention in school did you?”
Sky then said, “Well I was kind of a trouble maker back then, but eventually I was told that I needed to have respect and listen to orders. But I still slept in classes to be honest.”
Blacky then asked Sky, “Ever got caught?”
Sky then said to Blacky, “A few times, but nothing serious though. Although it almost made me fail the tests though since I never paid any attention in class. I kept drifting off and was day dreaming about certain things in the back of my mind that I couldn't get out.”
Blacky then said, “Well…you’re here now…that’s all that matters. Right now though… we need to get some shut eye. How about you go over there by the fire and go to sleep. You still have a long day ahead of you tomorrow you know?”
Sky then said as he was leaving Blacky, “I know…but what are you going to do?”
Blacky then said to Sky, “I’ll just be thinking…day dreaming about some stuff. Some stuff that I can’t get out of the back of my mind…you know?”
Sky smiled and Blacky gave a little chuckle as well.
Sky then said as he was walking away towards the other sleeping ponies except for TF that was still awake, “Good night Blacky.”
Blacky then responded with, “Goodnight Sky.”
And then Sky went to bed. He found himself a nice spot and closed his eyes and drifted off into dreamland with somewhat of an easy consciousness since he had that talk with Blacky earlier.
It had put him at ease knowing that everything will be ok in the end. He could feel it in his heart and that is all he needed to go to be with an easy and peaceful thought in mind. He wasn't looking forward to what tomorrow would bring, but at that moment, he just wanted to rest and not think of certain things. As for Blacky, he just sat there where he was and didn't move. He continued to stare at the stars and look at all the constellations.
It amazed him how many stars there were. The night Sky felt like it could only hold so much, but yet it still manages to look amazing every night. Blacky continued to look at the night sky for hours and just drift off into his own thoughts. Of course he didn't do anything like how I do, where I just have random songs pop up in my head sometimes and I can't help but sing along to them. I mean, sometimes that happens.
I mean as time went on it slowly went away, but I still get that urge every now and then. Well, anyways, Blacky was busy minding his own business and was in his own mind, thinking about Sky and his own future...until he heard a voice that interrupted him. It was TF of course since I did mentioned he was still up and all. See what I did there? No? Well you grammar Nazis can shove a pencil up your ass then...or a stick.
Anyways, TF said to him as Blacky was looking at the night sky, "It's a bit late...isn't it Blacky?"
TF had said those words all the way from the camp fire. He was sitting behind it and as Blacky turned around, he could see TF looking manically towards him as he was sitting behind the fire. Blacky then squinted his eyes a bit, but that soon changed as his face turned into an angry one. Well, more or less annoyed that is.
Blacky then responded with, '"Fuck off TF, I can do what I want!"
TF then said as he got up from his spot and started to walk towards him slowly, " Oh? But Blacky...everypony else is fast asleep. Wouldn't you want to join them alongside their deep slumber?"
Blacky noticed how TF was advancing towards him and he did the same. He got up from his spot and started to walk towards him.
As he was, he then said, "I don't care if they're fast asleep. Besides, I don't feel like sleeping and I feel like I can keep an eye on things. In fact, why aren't you asleep TF?"
They then both stopped as they got close enough to each other to meet eye to eye with each other.
TF then said, "Well then, you noticed my alertness during these dead hours of the night. You see, there's a reason why I can't go to sleep and that's..."
Blacky then told him, "Oh enough of your bullshit stories TF. I actually had thought that you were some pony that got lucky in life and knew how to fight and what not and got things that you want when you wanted it by any means necessary. I respected that...but now I'm starting to think different. I mean for fuck's sake, what was that thing that you told me back at the bar where we met? You said something about lying and shit...now I'm starting to wonder why you even said those things to me?"
TF then responded with, "Oh you know me..I just like to mess with other ponies because I can."
Blacky was then silent for a bit but then eventually he said to TF, "What is going on with you TF? I mean I trusted you in the beginning...but now...I don't even know what to say. I'm starting to think that this Knight guy that you want dead isn't who that you say he is. For all I know you're just hunting down a random innocent pony that was just happened to be walking by the train tracks."
TF then said to Blacky, "What are you saying Blacky?"
Blacky then said, "What I'm saying is that I don't trust you. Look, I don't know who you really are, assuming you say who you are. I'm willing to believe that you started this whole gun thing, but I highly doubt you invented them. Look, all I know is that once this is all over and done with, I'm taking Sky with me and getting as far, far fucking away from you...because I am sure as hell don't want to see you or the others over there ever again. Once we finished repaying our so called 'debt', I'm done with you and those other guys over there."
TF then asked Blacky, "And why do you say such words to me? I thought I was your boss?"
Blacky then said, "Yeah...you were...but now...I don't even know what to think. I mean who are you really? I don't even believe any of the stories that you've said. I honestly think that story with you and Star is a complete lie. Sure I'm willing to believe, although it is stupid, with the name of the disease Kazuhria "Empty an m9 into the welfare line" Miller Disease, but everything else...I don't trust you. All I want from you is to stay far away from me...you got it?"
TF and Blacky were silent for a while. But then TF then said, "You are right Blacky...I am lying to you and everyone else here. And I'm lying for a good damn reason too."
Blacky then said, "Yeah...and what is that reason?"
TF then said, "Well I'm not telling you, that would spoil the surprise. Trust me, you'll soon find the truth and it'll all come clear to you in the end. That I can promise. That is of course if you care at all for the truth. You could simply walk away from this now if you wish and avoid the truth. But do what you want, I don't care."
Blacky then remained silent for a few seconds, but then he said, "Why? Why lie? What would you possibly gain from leading us astray?"
TF then said, "Hmmm...you'll see. And besides, that part does not matter. What does matter is that you know I am up to something and I can't have you telling the others."
Blacky then said, "So what? You're just going to kill me...is that it?"
TF then said, "Oh heavens no. That would be stupid and illogical. Just make sure to keep your mouth shut and you'll be fine."
Blacky then said, "So...you're threatening me then huh?"
TF then said, "Well yes, of course. How else am I going to keep you quiet?"
Blacky then paused once more until he then said, "Why don't you just kill us? Why don't you just kill me and Sky and everypony else here and get it over with already?"
TF then said, "That is not mine intentions there Blacky. I honestly do need you all with me on this trip. I did bring you all along for a reason you know? If I didn't need you, I wouldn't have come to you all in the first place."
Blacky then said, "That's true, but what for exactly do you need us? It seems to me that you know what exactly what you're doing and you're fine managing it alone. I mean you were able to convince those cannibals to get on your side."
TF then said, "Oh but I can't do it all alone. I couldn't possibly do it by my lonesome self. That is why I need your help with something."
Blacky then asked TF, "With what do you need help with?"
TF then said to Blacky, "Like I said, I cannot tell you that. But trust me, you'll find out what will happen and why I brought you all along for in the end. And I can promise you Blacky...everything will be ok in the end for you. You'll see." Blacky then asked TF, "Is that a promise?"
TF then said, "How about we don't make promises. Instead we you just try and believe me and my words? If you ask me, promises are less than convincing. Promises are only for those that do not have trust. Don't you trust me Blacky?"
Blacky then said to TF, "Lately with everything that has happened, no...no I don't trust you."
TF then said, "Fair enough. I can understand why you wouldn't. I suppose if I was you, I wouldn't trust me either. I would be afraid if I was going to kill me even. But still, I stand by my own words and defend it. Besides, promises are overrated and clichéd. It seems to me that everywhere you go, you have to promise this and promise that. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Don't make promises to a girl you can't keep. It's just like signing a contract really. It's nothing but the boring stuff that is overdone and it happens over and over. Why not make it more interesting with trying to believe other's words? Why does it have to be a promise or let alone a Pinky promise. Instead let just part ways with our words and believe one another while still keeping an open mind of all the possibilities that can happen.
'Just keep in mind that the worst can happen like being betrayed or lied to. But yet at the same time, perhaps the chances are in fact are within your odds that everything will be fine and good and everything feels right with the world. Promises are no more less than cheap words that make you feel like you can live and trust yourself in the end. How about we just do that instead? How about we just believe our words and what we say to each other?
'I mean what ever happened to trust? Nowadays you can't go without being accused of lying or not sticking to your words. Even if there is a good reason behind it, you'll still get stabbed in the back for it. Sure it can be understandable why you would get stabbed in the back, but yet still, where is the trust nowadays? What happened to those days when ponies used to be free and made their own decisions and did it at their own risks?"
Blacky then said, "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about...but yet at the same time, I know exactly what you're talking about. But right now I'm not in the mood for your words. I just need to know that what you say is true that in the end everything will be ok for us?"
TF then said, "Well then, why don't you ask your friend Sky? He sure believes that everything will be ok in the end. What about you...do you feel like everything will be ok in the end?"
Blacky then said, "Not with you around I don't."
TF then said, "Well then you just have to deal with it then. I can't make you believe me unless perhaps I put white rats in a cage in front of your face or something and hold you against your will until you believe me."
Blacky then said, "If you ever did that, I would kill those white rats with my teeth and rip your heart out in a second."
TF then asked Blacky, "Could you? You're such an old timer anyways, I bet you can't keep up with the times anymore."
Blacky then said, "I may be out of my prime TF...but I still know a little something about kicking other's asses. And besides, I know death. I've seen it many of times. And most of the time I'm the one that causes it."
TF then said in a sarcastic tone, "You sound so tough. But in the end you are still old. Your bones will still turn to brittle and in the end you'll lose the stamina to keep up with the times and with yourself. Anyways, I'm done talking with you. I've got other matters to think about while I still have the time to do so. For you, I recommend getting some shut eye. We'll be moving out as soon as the sun rises."
Blacky then said, "Fine then. But I'm still keeping an eye on you though."
TF then said, "Oh I bet you will Blacky."
And then TF walked away and went back to his original spot while Blackly found himself a spot and went to sleep himself. Although he was worried when he did so and wondered if TF was going too somehow murder him in his sleep or something like that. And as Blacky slowly went into dream land the orange, yellow fire continued to burn well into the night.
A WHILE BACK...
And another flash back sequence. Hoo ray I guess. Anyways, I know you guys might be tired of the constant flashbacks, but this is how this shit goes. I'm the pony writing in my journal, so it's either my way or...Adam Sandler's highway...and trust me...no one wants to take that highway.
Because it's the highway to a hell...a never ending hell...that oddly enough that has a friendly white dragon that tells you a never ending story. But it's still hell though with a female Adam Sandler that's just male Adam Sandler trying to play a female version of himself. You get to see that for all of eternity in hell.
Anyways, you might wonder, where could this flashback be taking place? Well you crazy broads and bastards, sit down and I'll tell you because you have no choice because I'm the one writing about my own life here. I can do what I want thank you very much. Where this part goes all the way back like a few months before TF and the others got together. It's a hot and sunny desert.
There isn't much water for miles around and there is death written all over this desert...except for one small area where a small town is built at. It's built as a small little western town, one of those towns that you would see in one of those fancy old western movies where the cowboy kills another cowboy at high noon, eats the Indians, and gets and rapes the girl.
Yup, classic western, except it had ponies instead of humans. But I'm sure there's no difference. Niggers and zebras...what's the difference? Anyways, the sun is high as it can be on the sky. There are rocky mountains nearby and skulls from animals that were once alive spread throughout the desert. And for the small western town, well it was small, what else do you expect. It had its normal, common places like the bank and the sheriff's office along with a hotel and a bar.
There were some homes too along with a well that still held plenty of water for the town to drink and give around along to those that happened to pass on by as well. However, on that day, the townsfolk weren't out and about. They were all gathered in the middle of the town while under the sun. The heat was as hot as usual as the sun beated down their necks.
Some ponies were starting to sweat too, but they were used to that due to living out there and such. Well all the ponies in that town were gathered in a circle, surrounding a platform that was five feet high from the ground. The center piece: the gallows.
There were specifically five ropes dangling down from the thing, with five holes for a pony's neck to go around. At that point, it was empty. But soon the criminals that were sentenced to death by hanging came out one by one in a single filed line, meeting face to face with their death as it stared right in their faces as they climbed onto the five foot high platform. The first one that went to climb on was Mr. Brown.
The second one was Pink. And then there were three other one that were part of their gang. Two were stallions while the other one a mare. However nothing was special about them. They had the average normal face of a pony with the typical cutie mark. They didn't have a special voice to use. They were just the normal, typical, run of the mill criminal that comes by every once and a while and thinks that they have the balls to rebel against the law and get away with it.
But most are unlucky and don't get away with it so easily. And so all five were there, in that order, ready to face death in the face. Soon the hangman...hangpony...whatever...came out and stepped right onto the platform. He was wearing a fancy suit and tie along with a nice hat as well that was fitting for this kind of event.
For the hangpony, it was his job to kill ponies. He was an expert at it. You could say that the hangpony was just like the criminals, he was a murder just like them. Except the only difference was that he got paid and was perfectly legal. And soon the sheriff came on to the platform as well, making sure the ponies that were sent to hang wouldn't get away. It was because there was no restrictions placed on the five ponies, as they weren't prepared for five ponies to be hanging at once.
To the people of the town, it was quite astonishing that five ponies were going to be killed at once. They were used to mostly just the typical one pony getting the noose, maybe even sometimes two, but five was a bit of a mind blowing thing to them in a sense. So, they just had to make sure that the five wouldn't get away by beefing up security a bit.
Thankfully for them they never did try to escape the gallows as they were five idiots that failed to complete their crime that was against the laws. And besides, if the five ponies tried to escape right then and there, more than likely the folks of the said small western town wouldn't let them go so easily. And so the hangpony did his usual job and properly put the noose around the five ponies.
For the hangpony, it was an art. He gently and gracefully placed the noose around their necks along with tightening it so it wouldn't come off so easily. But he made it loose enough so they could get their last breaths in while they still could. As their necks were being placed inside a noose, three out of the five ponies were scared. They wondered what would happen to them. Would they be punished once they are in heaven? Will they see God before her and be judged by her? What will they feel when they die? What will they hear when they? How does it feel to lose their life and have their soul leave their own bodies? Is there even a god?
Was it all in their mind the entire time and everything will just cut to black and no longer have a consciousness, essentially making it nothingness? Will their bodies just rot in the ground and be forgotten as the years go by? These were the questions that were running through their minds as they never questioned it before until that very moment.
However as for Mr. Brown, he was just annoyed how he was caught. He didn't mind dying, although for him, he was disappointed that he didn't get one last good fuck in before he died.
As for his sister, Pink, she was just pissed off that they weren't able to get away with what they did. As soon as the hangpony was finished making his nooses beautiful as he could, the five ponies started to talk amongst themselves for a bit.
Pink eventually said to Mr. Brown, "Damn it you son of a bitch. This is your fault. If we just weren't slowed down by that fucking whore you fucked...we wouldn't be here having ropes around our necks."
Mr. Brown then responded with, "Well excuse me, after I fucked her, I assumed she would give me an orgasm...but she didn't, so it is my right as a consumer to ask for a refund."
Pink then said to her brother, "You're were the one that decided to leave and go to the whore house while we were in a middle of a fucking bank robbery. You didn't think that maybe you could have asked for sex from a random mare later?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Well I'm sorry but when I have to fuck, I have to fuck. You say...there's a saying: When the tough gets fucking, you go and look for some pussy."
Pink then said, "That's not a saying. You just made it up right now."
Mr. Brown then said, "Well at least I care about fucking while you don't do it. You should really just embrace it and fuck everything that you see...even me you know."
Pink then said, "Oh don't start...you know for a fact that you raped me."
Then the first pony out of the three, let's just call him stallion #1, said, "Uhh...what did you just say?"
Then stallion #2 said, "I think he said something about them committing incest."
Then the mare of the five said, "That's honestly disgusting to fuck your own brother."
Pink then said, "I didn't fuck him. He raped me, which he has done several times before."
The mare then said, "That's even worse."
The sheriff then cut them off along with anyone that might have been talking to themselves quietly in the crowd. He was on the platform as the now was the focus for most of the ponies there.
The sheriff said, "May I have your attention please! As you know, we had five criminals come into our town and think they could try and rob our banks! Well they tried and while they almost got scot free, they failed and we captured them. Now I'll admit that they did good, but not good enough to escape from me and my posse. They were too slow in a way. In fact, I believe one of them was messing around with a whore. Amazing! These are the same ponies that have been wanted everywhere else in Equestria and have been robbing banks left and right...I mean hell...their bounty that's on their heads went for half a million bits!
'They're that dangerous and that infamous! And what made them fall from the heavens of their bank robbing days was a bastard fucking a whore! Now's that's funny! That's really...fucking...funny! I mean...here you have one of the world's most dangerous ponies...and they failed due to an asshole trying to fuck a broad! Ha ha ha! It's just so fucking funny and also fucking sweet to see sweet JUSTICE be served here today! Now...I know everypony in this town here have some worries that they would like to address. Now word has been getting out about guns. Apparently it hasn't reached Cantorlot, but let me tell you that it will and when it does happen, you know there will be laws passed. I mean, these new mechanical, fangle dangle guns here is quite new."
The sheriff then proceeded to take out a gun that he had located in a holster on his body. He took it out with his hoof and held it up for everyone else to see in the crowd.
The sheriff then continued to say, "I've never seen anything like it, not even in my days as a child . I must say that they are so much better than using magic or bows and arrows or even swords for that matter, Now I have no clue where it came from or where it started even. Heck, most ponies here today just heard of it today from me. In fact I just got this gun here in today and still trying to learn how to shoot it. Granted it had to be purchased from the black market, but one of these days there will be gun shops at every coroner...hell it might just replace the drug stores too.
'Anyways, what I'm trying to say here is that these new guns were also used by these ponies here. It's quite odd to tell you the truth. That criminals and rapists get to them first before any pony of the law can first. But don't worry folks, the times will be changing, and when that does happen you better bet your fucking asses that when these guns reaches Cantorlot, there will be debates on these fucking god forsaken things. And to be honest...like no shit it's going to happen. These guns are new and just like anything that's new...it's scary. It's scary because we don't know jack shit about them.
'But don't worry folks, we'll learn how to use them together, and...and we'll fight whatever evil is out there in this world and we will learn to survive with them. Sure there will be trouble of course, but everything will be just ok. Now you might be wondering why did I bring up the guns. Well, I thought it was just a good time to bring them up since I am aware that I've been getting concerns from you fine citizens of this town here about these things.
'And considering that our poor ponies that's going to have their lives cut short have used them. That and I thought...why not...why not try a new form of execution. HOW ABOUT WE SHOOT THESE SONS OF BITCHES IN THE FUCKING HEAD TODAY! How does that sound to you all!?"
The crowd started to grow loud as some cheered but others booed.
Eventually the sheriff then said, "Hold it up folks..hold it up! Just calm down and let's talk about this for a moment!"
The crowd then suddenly died as the sheriff tried to capture their attention.
He then continued to say, "Now...I understand that some of you are for the idea while others are not. And that's completely fine. I know we all have morals and values that we all cherish. And of course we are civilized folk...so how about we just take this little ol' argument to a vote. First let's see how many wants to put a bullet between these five ponies eyes and paint the ground with their fucking brains. WHO'S FOR IT NOW!"
Ponies then raised up their hooves to vote. A decent number were raised and as the sheriff was doing a count on the votes, someone else was high in the tower near the gallows. It was a pony in the shadows and he was carrying a rifle on his back. A powerful rifle that was used in sniping positions and had a scope that can be used for very long range.
The pony then took the rifle off his back and pointed out the window. The pony was in the dark and covered in shadows as he was hiding in a hotel building and aiming the gun out the window that was facing the execution site. As the pony got the gun ready, his face came closer to the light, but not much of his face was lit. It was because he needed to keep his identity a secret for when he fired his gun, it would bring attention towards him. But we all know who it is, it was of course TF.
And TF had a little smile grow on his face once he saw his two targets. Mr. brown and Pink. And for him, he needed those two alive. As for other three, he didn't care if they had dropped dead or found a way to stay alive. So he looked through the scope and concentrated on the rope, making sure to keep his aim steady as he possibly could as he was ready to hold his breath. Of course he wasn't going to strike just yet, he was waiting for the right moment to shoot and fire his gun and free his two targets.
As for anyone else, no one noticed him and where he was at or what he was even carrying. The ponies of course wasn't expecting anyone else to free the ponies or have an escape. They were just getting used to guns and certainly wasn't expecting no gun to be used against them. As for the sheriff and the votes, nothing much was said. All he did was asked for who wanted to hang the five ponies alive. Once more it was a decent amount of votes.
The sheriff then asked, "Alrighty then...then how about that didn't vote? Do you care how we kill these ponies?"
Some ponies in the crowd then shook their heads no in silence while others said no out loud.
After the sheriff heard and saw the responses back, he then said, "Well we have our answer then!"
He then looked towards the five ponies and looked them in the eyes and said to them, "Well it looks like it's not your lucky day for either of us. You five get to suffer and slowly suffocate with rope around your necks and I don't get to use my new gun and use you as target practice. but that's life for ya...you don't always get what you want. Anyway, since you all five are going to die...is there any last words you would all like say? How about you there miss? Lady's first."
The mare then said, "I just hope my son out there just doesn't get himself killed. He's an idiot you know."
The sheriff then said, "Alright then. Very nice, saying your wish and hopes that your son doesn't fuck up in life. Understandable. How about you sir? What are your lasts words?"
After the sheriff was done talking with the mare, a pony came up and tightened the mare's rope.
Stallion #2 then said, "I wish for my mama to meet me in heaven and all. I do awfully miss her. That and I hope my bowels doesn't release after I die."
The sheriff then said, "That's nice, hoping to see your loved ones after you die. But you are going to release your bowels when you die...sorry about that...but shit happens. Now how about for you fine sir? What are your lasts words?"
After the sheriff moved on, a pony once again and went up and tightened the noose for Stallion #2.
Stallion #1 then said, "I just hope and pray for my daughter to be fine without me. Wherever she is, I hope she is with her mother right now and that they'll do just as fine without me. I mean I only robbed banks because we really needed the money. Same thing goes for those other two, we all really needed the money and now in hindsight...I feel sorry about robbing the bank. Taking money away from those that worked hard for it...I'm sorry about it."
The sheriff then said, "Well what do you know about that. You are the most kind robbers that I have ever met. Usually what we get is just killers and psychopaths, but with you, you're just doing it to feed your families and even still, you apologize. Almost feel bad for hanging you, but we have to do what we have to do. You broke the law and that means you have to die...but if it means anything...apology accepted. Ha! I almost forgot about you two!"
The sheriff then eyed Mr. Brown and Pink and looked at them specifically. He then walked over to them to get a little bit closer and as he was, the pony once again that was tightening the nooses went and di the same thing to Stallion #2.
The sheriff then said to Mr. Brown and ink, "I almost forgot about you two. My bad."
He said all of his words up to this point with a big smile and then he said to Mr. brown and Pink, "So what are you two's last words? No...don't tell me...let me guess. You two are lovers and have a child back home...but you don't have the money to support your little family, so you just went to robbing banks so you could have yourself a little family. But now you're feeling so bad about what you did that you two are also sorry. Did I get right?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Actually we're brother and sister."
The sheriff then said, "Oh..."
His smile then disappeared and his mind went to disgusting images about those two fucking.
Pink then said, "And we're not sorry. Those three might be, but we don't feel bad about robbing fucking banks. We rob fucking banks all the time! Those three over there were just hired for the job and they were a bunch of wussie bitch ass pussies! Honestly if my brother here wasn't a fucking idiot that he is, we would have gotten away with the money and you know what, even if we were successful, we would come back to your bank and steal some more money just to spite you. When you die, and you will you son of a bitch, I hope you burn. I hope your soul burns. I hope your wife burns. I hope your children burns as they are being eaten alive by other ponies. I hope your pets get skinned alive. And most importantly, you can suck it."
Pink then proceeded to give a good spitting on the sheriff's face, landing right between his eyes. After Pink had said those words of hatred towards him, his smile was nowhere to be seen and was certainly not coming back. A pony then came to make sure the noose was tight around the necks of Mr. Brown and Pink.
The sheriff then said as he was walking away as he also wiped the spit from his face, "Alright then boys! LET EM' HANG!!!"
As the sheriff was walking off the platform, the hangpony then pulled the level that was nearby him and activated the trap door to let the five hang and die. As the doors collapsed underneath the feet of the five ponies, they were startled by it as they weren't expecting it right away, nor did they expected it so quickly. As they hanged, they started to suffocate.
It was painful and quite uncomfortable not getting any air into their lungs. One or two of them struggled, trying to move and in hopes break free. For the five ponies that they were being hanged, they were dying while the crowd was simply watching in silence, waiting for them to just die.
As for TF however, this was the moment to fire his rifle. So he aimed the gun at Mr. Brown's rope and quickly held his breath and then finally pulled the trigger. Soon there was a sound of a loud crack go through the air. The bullet was fired and went through Mr. Brown's rope and soon it had let Mr. brown free as he fell to the ground and Mr. Brown's face was starting to go back to normal. He was gasping for air and tried to get his shit together, but was confused as to what had just happened. Quickly after TF had freed Mr. Brown, he then moved his gun over to Pink's rope and soon held his breath and quickly fired his gun, this time the bullet penetrating Pink's rope. Once Pink was free, she was just as confused as her brother and was also too gasping for air.
As for TF, he quickly retreated to the shadows of the room he was in and went quickly downstairs to meet the two he freed. As for the other three, they for the most part was already dead, although one of them still had some consciousness left, but would be gone in a few seconds. As for all the other ponies, they were shocked and surprised as to what had happen.
Not even the sheriff knew what to do since this had never happened before. Sure a pony that was meant to be hanged has attempted to be freed by other ponies, but was usually not successful since there was no real way of setting them free without getting close to the gallows.
However this attempt at freeing prisoners was from a gun and was from yards away, so there was no telling where it could have come from or what. As for the two ponies that were freed, they were out in plain sight and they took off the rope around their neck and was confused on what to do next since they weren't expecting to be alive that day. And so once TF had his things ready, he quickly went outside and got the stuff around him to pull his cart. His cart was facing the direction away from the town, so he could get away easily.
TF then looked towards the gallows and looked to Mr. Brown and Pink and yelled at them, "WHAT ARE YOU TWO WAITING FOR! HOP ON AND LET'S GO!"
Mr. Brown and Pink then looked at each other, then back towards the cart. Then they immediately made a run for it and ran as fast as they could towards TF and his cart.
As they were running, the sheriff then looked at his deputies and said, "WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WATING FOR!? THEY'RE GETTING THE FUCK AWAY! GET THE FUCK AFTER THEM! LET'S MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!"
The deputies then went after the two ponies that were escaping, but weren't fast enough as Mr. Brown and Pink got onto the cart and TF started moving the cart and went out to the far west where there was nothing but desert and sun along with high temperatures that could bake a cat on a sidewalk or something like that. That are bake brownies that have weed in them, either way it works. As for the sheriff and his deputies, they went into a cart and the sheriff came along and made an attempt to go after the ponies.
As for the two siblings, they were still confused and Pink then asked TF as TF continued to run and pull the cart with him, "Where are we going!?"
TF then responded with, "To your home of course! Where else do you think we will go in this kind of place!?"
Mr. Brown then asked TF, "So you've been spying on us!?"
TF then said, "Well not exactly...I just asked the local criminals about you and where you live at is all."
Pink then asked TF, "Who are you and why you saved us?!"
TF then said, "We can talk more when we get to your home! But for now it looks like the sheriff and his boys are hot on our tail!"
Mr. Brown and Pink then looked behind themselves and saw as they were being chased by the fuzz. You could say...they were the Hot Fuzz. Not sure if that meant anything or not, just felt like it did. Anyways, the fuzz eventually caught up to them in terms of speed and was right next to them. The sheriff was in the back of the cart along with three or two of his deputies while all holding a type of gun in their hooves.
The sheriff then said to the two along with TF, "Pull over now you fucking scum! If you comply to my orders now, I promise you I will only shove my hoof in your face instead of shoving it up your fucking asses!"
Pink then said, "Fuck you!"
The sheriff then said, as he was pointing his handgun at the two of them directly in their faces, "Well you can eat lead then their honey!"
Before the sheriff had a chance to pull the trigger, TF then pushed the cart to the side and hit the other cart. It only made the cart tilt a little bit, but the sheriff and the other ponies were alright.
The sheriff saw what happened and he then looked at TF, the one driving the cart and said to hum, "YOU'LL BE ENXT BOY! I SWEAR TO YOU I'M GOING TO PUT A FUCKING BULLET BETWEEN YOUR EYES!"
TF then said back to him, "Maybe your driver should be paying the attention to where he's driving instead all of you looking at me!"
What TF had meant by that was the driver of the sheriff's cart was somewhat looming at TF as he was the center of attention, and so the driver wasn't paying attention to what was in front of him.
After TF said his thing, the sheriff then said, "What!?"
Then everyone else immediately looked to what was coming towards them and they saw a big rock in front of them while on TF's side, it was a straight shot to the sibling's house. As for the sheriff and his ponies, the driver couldn't stop in time and quickly smashed into the rock, of course with consequences, as he slammed into the thing so hard that the cart flew up to an angle and launching the other ponies in it towards the other side of the rock, but with the cart still being on the driver's side.
As for the driver himself, he was for the most part as he landed head first into the rock, smashing his skull against the rock and most of his blood dripping from his dead corpse. As for the others, they either broke a bone, scrapped their faces and legs, or was alright and only had minor damages done to them. But one of them was bleeding badly and needed immediate medical attention as he landed, he skidded across the ground and in turn it scrapped up his and body up pretty badly.
Everyone there was in bad shape and didn't know what to do since they weren't in this situation before. One of their ponies was dead, one was badly injured, and the rest were ok, but needed some time to rest and heal before they could go out and do any shooting for that matter. The sheriff got up though immediately and looked around him. He saw TF went for a house that was very far out, but could be barely be seen in the far distance and clearly it was the destination that he was going to. After he saw that, he looked at his boys and saw they were moaning and groaning in pain.
He saw some blood splatter in places and even saw the one that was scrapped up had a broken bone or two sticking out of his body. He was still alive, but couldn't move his legs.
He then said, "Is everypony alright!?"
The one that was scrapped up badly then said, "Oh god...I don't think I can move my legs. Is there a bone sticking out? It feels like it...and it hurts like a mother fucker!"
The sheriff went up to him and took a look at him and he then said, "It's alright there boy...we'll go get help."
Then one of the ponies that wasn't injured that badly got up and looked at the driver to see what a bloody mess was made.
He then looked towards the sheriff and then said to him, "Boss...I think the driver's dead."
The sheriff then looked back at the tiny house in the distance and had a stern look form across his face while the sun beated down his face and chest.
The pony then said, "What are we going to do boss?"
The sheriff then went towards the others and helped them get up and gather their belongings and said as he was facing back towards where town was, "We're going to go back and get help."
And so he did. As for TF and the two siblings, they arrived safely at their destination. TF had pulled up to an old, messed up house that looked like it needed work indefinitely. The roof even looked like it was going to collapse into the house itself and looked very unstable. But it was home for Mr. Brown and Pink and was good enough for them to call home and live in. As Mr. brown and Pink got out, so did TF as he unhooked himself and looked at the two siblings as they went to walk into the house itself.
TF had then asked them, "Now...I need your help..."
Pink then said as she walked into the house, but TF followed suite as well, "Forget it. We're not helping you."
As TF entered the house, he had entered the kitchen area, as from what he saw, it was very dirty and was not clean whatsoever. There was even some roaches running amuck around the kitchen area, looking for food to eat. TF didn't mind the place though as he had seen worse.
He then said to Pink as the brother went up stairs to gather a few things as Pink concentrated downstairs, "Excuse me if I'm wrong...but...I believe I saved your life."
Pink then responded as she was gathering certain things with her, "Yeah and we're thankful for that...but that doesn't mean we need to help you."
TF then said, "Well no it doesn't, but it usually shows good manners. I do something for you out of my own heat and you do something for me in return, no more, no less than what I gave you."
Pink then said, "Yeah, in which case you saved my life...so unless you need your life saved, we're not helping."
TF then said to her, "I believe I saved two lives today, which when combined would equal a greater debt that needs to be repaid."
Pink then said, "You only saved one life today. My brother's life is worth shit."
Mr. Brown had heard that from all the way upstairs and then said, "HEY...I HEARD THAT!!!"
Pink then responded back to her brother with, "Shut the fuck up you bastard!"
Pink then went back to talking with TF and she then said, "And besides, we don't even know you. For all we know, you're secret agents from Cantorlot or something, trying to take us in and fuck with us or something like that."
TF then said to her, "I can assure you that I am no such thing. I only saved you today because you are somewhat special in a sense, and with your skulls of robbing banks and such...I believe you can help me out with something."
Pink then asked, "Is it robbing a bank?"
TF then said, "Well no..."
Pink then said, "Forget it then. No deal..."
TF then said, "But you didn't even hear what I had to say. It may not be robbing a bank, but metaphorically it's robbing a life. You see...I'm looking to kill a particular pony."
Pink then said, "Well why can't you do it then? You have a gun don't you? I saw it in the back of the cart."
TF then said, "Yes...well...I need your help, along with a few other ponies of course, because a specific pony that I'm referring to cannot be killed so easily, or else I would have done it myself already. I need you to come along with me on a special trip to hunt him down and end his pathetic life. So...what do you say?"
Pink then said, "Fuck off."
Mr. Brown then came down the steps with some items on his back and some side saddle pouches as well and went outside along with Pink. TF again followed them.
He then said, "Well can you at least tell me what you are doing right now carrying all of those things with you?"
As Pink and Mr. Brown was putting their items in the back of a cart that they owned that was right next to TF's cart.
Pink then said, "What does it look like...we're trying to leave this area. I mean before my brother here fucked it all up, we were unknown robbers and nopony else knew where we lived at. But now since we have a chance to live once again, we have to get our asses moving before the sheriff comes and find us."
TF then asked, "Where will you go? You're practically wanted all over Equestria. There is not quite a safe place to go."
Pink then said, "Yes there is...we're not wanted in Japony. So we're going to get a ticket to climb aboard on a ship or something and go there while we still can."
Mr. Brown then said, "I hear their Manga over there is awesome...and hot to jack off too."
Pink then said to her brother, "Shut up!"
Pink then said back to TF, "Now if you will excuse us, we better be leaving then."
TF then asked Pink, "But what about this house? Aren't you going to miss it at least?"
Pink then gave a little shrug and then said to TF, "It was our parent's place. It means jack shit to us. This piece of shit was rotting the very day that my brother was born in it so it was going to fall apart anyways. Now if you just get out our way and..."
Pink then saw something in the distance coming towards them. It looked like two full carts filled with ponies holding guns. She at first asked herself, "What in the fuck is that out there?"
Then a gunshot was heard as a bullet was aimed at the sky. Then another pony aimed a gun right at her and pulled the trigger from far away. The bullet didn't hit her, but it did hit near her hooves. In which case, she then took a step back once the bullet startled her and then took one last good look as to what was coming towards her.
She then looked towards her brother and signaled him to get something from the cart and she then said, "Get back inside...it's the sheriff and his gang!"
Mr. Brown gathered all the guns that they had with them and went back inside the house. As for TF, he gathered his guns as well and then he met them back inside as well in the kitchen area. Pink was in the kitchen while Mr. Brown was in the living room area, trying to get their guns and shit together as fast as they could.
TF then said, "I knew they would be coming back, but I didn't expect to see them this fast."
Pink then said, "Yeah well if you've been living here as long as we have, you'll know the sheriff isn't a pony to fuck around with too much. He works fast and when he wants to get shit done he'll gather a gang to help him out with."
Soon they heard two carts pull up and as they did, they kept their heads low to the ground at all times and one of the ponies form the carts then said, "Hello their sweet cheeks! We're here to see ya! We only want to shoot ya!"
The sheriff's voice then popped up and he then said, "Don't mind them honey! What you need to worry about right now is me! Now sadly you hurt my boys and I can't have that. But I'm willing to be like Princess Twilight Sparkle and offer you one more chance to work this all out peacefully! Come out now and I'll promise you that all you have to do is just serve jail time for the rest of your life. I can't promise good treatment while you're in jail...but at least you won't have to die like your friends that were hanged today...which by the way they all fucking emptied their bowels all over the ground. It stinks like a mother fucker and if you come back I'll make sure you clean up their mess! So how does that sound to ya!? Do we have a deal or what!?"
There was a brief moment of silence between the ponies talking.
But eventually Pink then said, "You can go eat a dick asshole! You can go fuck yourself with a polar bear while a monkey is raping you and your family! So how about you fuck off!?"
The sheriff then said, "Poor choice of words their dear!"
He then said to the ponies that he gathered up, "Well...get ready boys...get ready to fire and light it up!"
As the ponies were getting ready to sue their new guns, Pink then said to TF, "Shit is going to get real here. I blame you for this...if you didn't distracted me with your fancy smancy talking, we would have been out and on our way by now to Japony."
TF then said as a small grin formed along his face, "Don't worry my dear...all shall be alright in the very end...you'll see."
Pink then said, "Alright!? Do you know how many ponies are out there pointing a gun at us? More than likely they're bullets is going to shoot through the house and we're all going to be dead and we sure as shit don't have enough fire power to kill them all! Even my fucking dumb ass brother is shitting himself right now!"
She then pointed a hoof towards Mr. Brown's direction and TF looks over to see Mr. Brown sitting in a corner and shitting himself.
Mr. Brown then said, "I empty my bowels accidently whenever I get scared."
TF then said to Pink, "Like I said before...don't worry my dear. You won't have to worry about losing your life today. Trust me...I've got it covered."
Pink then looked at TF and firmly and asked him, "How!?"
Then they heard screams of pain coming from outside. It sounded like the screams were coming from the ponies that were recruited by the sheriff himself. In fact even the sheriff was crying in pain. It sounded like bloody murder and combination of the screams from Hell itself. As the screams were going on, Mr. Brown got scared even more and continued to empty his bowels all over the stained carpet that more than likely had AIDs in it already as he was sitting in a corner in the living area as if it wasn't dirty enough already. As for Pink, she was shocked and confused, a little disturbed as well. She wasn't sure what to make out of it all, but she looked over to TF, who had a grin form around his face and he was smiling back at her.
She then asked TF, "What the fu..."
Soon Pink stopped in mid-sentence as she was startled by the fact that the screams suddenly stopped. She then motioned for her brother come over to her, and of course Mr. Brown's ass was dirty as shit, but he came over as quietly as he could and soon they all went outside to see what had happened.
And as they did, they were surprised that all of the ponies were dead, well...except for the sheriff that was on his pony knees, in pain and was shivering in fear as the rest of the ponies were dead and their corpses bleeding everywhere. As for the one who did it, Star was standing right there. She was in her suit, was covered in blood, and as usual looked like she was pissed off and wasn't in the mood to be talked to.
TF then looked at Pink and told her, "I told you I had it covered."
Pink looked at TF, but then she went back to look at the sheriff, who was scared shitless. Pink then went off towards the sheriff and had a small hand guns in one of her hooves and went up to him.
She then came face to face and as the sheriff was on his pony knees, looking up towards Pink, the sheriff said, "I'm sorry..."
Pink then said, "Fuck no you ain't bitch! But it looks like the tables have turned for you and..."
Soon a bullet what seemed like came from nowhere entered between the sheriff's eyes and was soon dead. Pink was again shocked and of course was confused as to where the bullet came from, along with the gun shot noise as well. She then looked behind her and she then saw TF holding a similar gun to hers and he was the one that pulled the trigger.
TF then said, "Oh don't look surprised. You were taking too long. You had him right there and all you needed to do was put a gun against his temple and pull the trigger. Words are cheap, firing a gun is better way at communicating."
Soon the sheriff's dead corpse then empty its bowels all over the floor and Mr. Brown then said, "Ha! Ha ! Ha! That's funny! Did you see that sis! He fucking took a shit even though he's dead!"
Pink then looked over to her brother and she then said to him, "SHUT UP!"
Pink then looked over towards TF and TF had a little smile on his face.
TF then said, "Well now, I believe I saved both of your lives twice now..."
And so...you get the picture as to what happened. I'm not going to say because the Grammar Nazis really don't like things being explained to them....but don't worry...I'm sure if you're not retarded, you get the picture. And if you are...well then...have a cookie or something. Oh and one more thing apparently I forgot to say, or else the Grammar Nazis are going to be riding my ass...and not in a sexual way either.
But of course Pink and Mr. Brown had their cutie marks and everything and apparently I somehow forgot to describe that part. at least as to what they looked in the flashback as it was different from when they were chasing me and shit. I'm...I'm busy writing my life story and I have looked into the past and tell you what happened as best as I can by using a little spell and...it's not easy...but whatever, let me explain it and break it down for you as to what Pink and Mr. Brown looked like.
You know...without their disguises and shit. Let's start off with Pink. For her, she had a blond colored mane with a tan colored coat. Her mane was long, mostly just straight down but some of the hair was curled up and was a bit messy and dirty looking. She wore a brown cowpony hat and had somewhat of a brown dirty looking coat. Her face looked dirty along with having crooked teeth and such. Her cutie mark was a picture of a bag with the money sign on it. Surprisingly a lawyer hasn't teleported from another universe because that shit is copyrighted...surprisingly...last time I check back on Earth...and a million other universes I'm sure. I guess the Monopoly guy just really likes his money...that big fat cat bastard.
Anyways, that was pretty much what Pink looked like before they chased me. As for her brother Mr. Brown, he had a messy looking hairstyle with a black colored mane and tail. His face was a little bit more messed up compared to Pink's face and dirty, yellow looking teeth. His coat color was more or less of an orange looking color, a dark orange to be more exact and looking a little like on the lines of his sister's coat color. As for his cutie mark, it was a picture of two money bags with the dollar sign on it...in other words...he would get double sued...and when he goes to prison..he would be double raped by two big muscular zebras.
Anyways, As for clothing, he also too wore a cowpony hat on, it was brown just like his sisters, but a little smaller than hers. Now I'm not sure why they changed their looks before they went on to their little trips. For all I know the ones that were chasing me were actually changelings or it was an alternate universe Mr. Brown and Pink as the real ones from this universe never went with TF and are still alive. Oh why I'm telling you this, you'll find out sooner or later if it was actually them or not.
And that concludes what they somewhat looked like. You hear that kiddies...you're going to have to use your imagination to fill in the gaps. Mostly because...I don't know...what to do when you're reading a book or a journal...you imagine things don't ya? Well, aside from you Grammar Nazis fuckers or whatever you're called...back to the my life's story. Which is oddly enough is being shared with TF's story right now. Odd...
BACK TO KNIGHT....
Ah yes, back to me once more. Isn't it smashing that we keeping hopping back and forth to me and TF? No? Well you can suck it because I'm the one with the quill...pen...whatever. Anyways, where to start. Well, how about this then. After our long night in the woods, we woke up. We all had our pleasant dreams, except for me although I mostly didn't remember what it was except for brief glimpses of Neon, the moon and the sun, a quill and ink, and a ghost that made me sit down at a table that told me either eat the food to become a possessed person or else be offered as a blood sacrifice.
Then a plushie Rainbow Dash oddly enough ended up in my hands and told me if I didn't stop liking My Little Pony she would kill me...and then an axe appeared in the plushie's hands. I have no clue as to why that was a dream that I had. Then again I had a dream once before where William Defoe was hiding in my closet, but I think he hides in all of our closets in reality. He's just waiting for the right time to come out of the closet...possibly when there's skeletons in it he'll come out of our closets.
Anyway, we all woke up and not much to say happened. We all made sure we were all ok, saw the fire went out and pretty much gathered up our things and moved out towards the two mountain tops. Well, sort of. What happened at least to give you a little idea as to what happened was that it was the morning. It wasn't that bright and early as you would have expected. But it was still sometime during the morning hours that we all got p. To be more specific, I got up first as I heard some birds chirping somewhere in the woods. As for any changes in the weather, nothing much other than it was a little less cold so it was all bearable to move through.
As for me, I slowly and gently woke up to everyone else still being asleep, So I got up myself and didn't say a single word and gently woke up Fighting first. In which case he was jolted awake from his slumbers, as if he was having a nightmare and I scared him awake, or something on the lines like that. And so after he woke up, he started to do what I did and wake up the others.
And as we did so, I then said to them all, "Alright then, I guess this means we have a long day ahead of us all?"
Rock then responded with, "To be honest, I would rather be dead right now. I mean at this point we are all fucked, so why don't we just get it over with and stop with the sugar coating and shit?"
G then responded with that with, "Come on, where's the positivity with you at there buddy?"
Rock then said, "It died when I got stuck with all of you guys. Let's just get moving because the sooner we are out of this mess the sooner I can get back to my own life."
Fighting then asked us all, "Well before we do, is everypony here alright? Are we ok to move forward."
Fizzy then said, "I believe so. Although I must say, sleeping on the cold hard ground wasn't very pleasant for me."
Axe then responded with, "Well we all had to deal with it there Fizzy. Now, I think we should start going now. Anypony that cares to lead the way, be my guess."
And then we left.
Along the way though, G found oddly enough two knives in his pockets, it was a bit odd but for some weird reason he had two pocket knives that he was carrying with him. As we were walking, all we saw were just trees and birds. Just nothing but that with a few exceptions as we walked for hours.
None of us spoke up, we all just wanted to keep to ourselves and get to where we were going...and that of course was home. Safety is home, and we wanted to be safe and to be home. And so we walked. Now of course we did see some odd things. One of the things that we saw was a group of little bear cubs that seemed lost. They were calling out to see if they could find their mother. But they looked very sad and hungry and looked like they wouldn't stand up in a fight. And sadly enough as we walked past them, we saw another bear come along and kill the cubs.
Like literally just kill them and started devouring on the little cub's flesh. It was a bit of a gory sight to see but we just kept moving forward as the children were murdered behind us as we kept moving forward and never looked back. But a part of me though honestly wished those cups were black bears...that way it would have been racist...in any way shape or form. I mean let's be honest here, black bears are more likely to kill other black bear cubs than normal polar bears killing black bears.
It's just a fact. And not only that, but the dirty brown bear or what we like to call them as Illegal Muzzie Mexicans will more than likely blow up in front of polar bears than the black bears because more than likely the black bear is belonging to the religion of Islam as black bears will more than likely convert to that religion than the religion of the Leprechaun as the leprechauns are known to go into the hood...twice.
It's just facts guys...Buzzfeed and CNN swear it's true. Just as much truth as to when Dick Cheney thought that guy was a deer and shot him in the face. But we all know what went on there Dick...you thought he was a black guy, but it's ok...we all make mistakes. Anyway, that was one of several weird stuff that we saw as we walked along the woods. At one point we eventually saw what looked like zombie ponies were trying to walk through the woods. But they looked like nice zombies, except they had AIDs...Super AIDs. Trust me...there's a difference. Just like there Jared from Subway...not only did he lose weight trying to catch those kids, he got AIDs from those kids...in which turn made him a pedophile...in which case he lost weight by chasing kids, in which case after he did get them he got AIDs, which made him a pedophile, which made it into a never ending circle of confusion.
One last odd thing that we saw as we were walking through the woods, which we saw several more things but I would be here for a few months if I explain them all what we saw that day. Well, we also saw a zebra punching what seemed to be a native american pony with a bright red coat color.
The zebra kept saying to the red pony, "I'M TAKING YOUR LAND DAMN IT! I'M GOING TO TAKE IT SO HARD THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN THE OVEN BY NOON! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! I HAVE A BIGGER DICK THAN YOU GOD DAMN IT! I HAVE THE BIGGEST DICK! DO YOU HEAR ME! I WILL FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE YOU SON OF A BITCH! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..."
And that's where it kind of ended. We just walked past it all. No one else tried to do anything, we just kept to ourselves. As for the rest, like I said, there were some more odd things but I will be here for the next few months writing this part if I were to do so. So let's move on shall we? Well, we eventually made it halfway there and as we all thought about finding a nice spot to take a break at, we happened to come across a decent large area that had no trees or wildlife in it. It was a big circle area and inside the big circle area: the old ruins of a church...or what once was a church that is. There were some parts of it where you could technically go inside and there would still be a roof over your head, but some of the walls were gone and there were no windows or doors to it ether.
It was all empty and barren as well. Especially towards the direction we were going, there was no wall period. Instead the wall was absent, but in its place there was a big rock wall a few yard away from it which also seemed to have had some sort of structure on top of that rock wall at some point as there were some gray stones there. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was something at some point. And as for a way to get out of the area, well there was a way. It was simple, there was a little straight and easy slope to climb to get on top of the big rock wall that was right there and there was a second path as well.
Towards the left, there was a long way to get on top of the rock wall to continue towards the mountain tops, we just had to go through the woods is all. But once we reached the abandoned church area, we were tired and needed to take a break for a while. When we did reach the area, we were all surprised to what we had found. We didn't expect to come across such a place that was located in the middle of the woods. Let alone a church since there wasn't too many around anyways and the last one I was in contained a cult that prayed for that pancake monster god thing. At first no one said a word and instead we just got closer to the whole thing.
As we did, I got a closer look to the church and it all looked what seemed to be beautiful at one point, but was now just a ruined church that was slowly decaying over time. Not only that but the building looked to be really old, like really, really old. I couldn't tell you how long ago of course because I'm not that kind of scientist or whatever. I work with guns and killing...and that is as far as my resume goes for the most part. Anyways, I could also see inside as like I said, there were no doors as it disappeared, more than likely a long time ago. As for what was inside, there were still some benches left inside that was made out of fine wood and proved to stand the test of time.
Not only that but one of the windows still had what seemed to be part of what used to be a mosaic glass window. It still had color too. It was a light blue color, but that was about it. As for the back of the church though, the alter and everything was still intact, along with a podium with a book and a piece of paper on it. I'll get to more of that later. And even an organ that still somewhat worked too and everything. And behind it all, there seemed to be what was a set of stairs that led under the foundation.
Although the sad part was that there was no bell at all, but there could have been one though, but I'm not sure. As for anything else as far as little details go, there was a little area for a small fire place and a lot of forgotten stuff that was abandoned like cloths and such, but it looked like it all rotted away for the most part. As for the rest of us, we just walked in and sat down as well needed a break and it was the perfect time to do so. We were halfway after all and we needed a break from the long walk that we took to get this far. So everyone else sat down at what they could find and rested their hooves. As for me, I was fine and could go on for a little bit longer before I needed to sit down. So I went up to the podium out of curiosity to see what was on it. When I did, the book of course looked to be decaying, but that of course will happen. And it was starting to show but for the time being it was still around. As for the piece of paper and what was on it, it looked like it was a note.
It read:
Dear John,
We have to leave. This forest is starting to become too cruel for us and we cannot live here any longer. Our attempt at making a settlement in the name of the alicorns cannot be done. However, words has spread that there might be another settlement that might be built in the Winter Forest, but we do not know what will happen my friend. For now we must leave. All the mares and children will have left and we will have been long on our way. I'm sorry to have left you this note though and not tell you that we were leaving in the middle of the night. But we had to leave because you wouldn't listen to us damn it. You are too stubborn and I came very close to snapping your neck in front of your kids one time. I'm sorry John, but we have to do what we have to do in order to survive. You are a good leader and did good by your ponies, but in the end you are a mad pony gone crazy with power. You are starting to say things that make no sense. We have to move out now before the forest gets to us. And besides, assuming that there is a god, I don't think god has blessed us with this place. Take care and I hope that you do get better. And I also hope that we see each other again. I do feel bad for leaving you all by yourself in this place, but know that we left in good faith, and we hope that you will understand and you will see the errors of your ways. I wish you good luck my friend.
With love, Moses.
P.S. There is some food that I left for you. It should last you for at least a month before you have to gather for yourself again.
That was what the piece of paper read. As for the book that was underneath the paper, it was a bunch of words that I couldn't read, mostly due to the fact that the ink was fading away and I could barely make out what it said. But the book was leather bound and I checked on the front and it read: THE BOOK OF THE ALICORNS. It didn't make sense to me of course, but whatever. Aside from that though, I was done investigating what was on the podium and decided to find one of the benches and sit down. I hopped on to the seat and got a chance to rest my hooves.
When I did, I almost saw Black come from what seemed out of nowhere, but he didn't say a word so I just ignored it.
After that happened, I finally broke the silence after many hours of it and asked, "Does anyone know what this place was? I mean...it's kind of weird finding a random abandoned church out in the middle god knows where."
Fighting then spoke up and he then said out loud, "I know a little something. I mean I wasn't expecting to find a church here, let alone it still being around. I'm surprised it's still standing too. I've only heard about this place and others like it."
I then asked him, "Others? You mean out in the middle of nowhere there are other ruins like this just sitting there?"
Fighting then said, "Yup. Mostly because it was a lot of moons ago when it happened and it was built. But most have forgotten what it was. Mostly because a lot has changed since then."
I then asked Fighting, "What do you mean by that? I mean, sorry, I'm just not so caught up on my history is all of Equestria."
Fighting then said, "Well I'm sure everypony else isn't. They don't teach you in the history books they have nowadays, which is sad to say at the least but, back in my day I've heard stories about these places and found some books on it. But those books are mostly long gone by now. Well, to give you a quick history lesson, we are a church for the alicorns. The council of the Alicorns. There's a lot to explain of course that I can't get into or else we'll be stuck here for the night and I'm sure we would all prefer to go home instead. Well, there was a council of the Alicorns that governed the whole world for the most part. They were powerful and were respected by many ponies. So much that some worshipped them as gods, even though they were just like you and I. They were ponies, but could live longer and hold much great power as well. And whenever an Alicorn was born, they would be praised as some sort of god as well and it would be something to celebrate.
'It was an odd time I'm sure, but to most ponies, they were powerful ponies that could do a lot more than most of could combined. Well, like I said, someponies worshipped them, and they ended up making churches and thinking that there was one big alicorn god in the sky, in the heavens above and that the alicorns that we had were god's children. And it was up to us to take care of god's children and to respect them and give them whatever they needed as they helped us and forgave us for many things that we had done wrong. And so those that really loved the council, they made a whole religion out of it. They prayed and did good things and such. They had a book of their religion with stories even thousands of years before they took place. It was sort of crazy you could say. Well, the leaders of the said religion wanted to expand as some didn't follow the religion and had no idea about the council. So they wanted to colonize certain areas around the world, however, all were but a failure. Churches were built out in the middle of nowhere and they thought they could expand, but it turned out they were wrong and long story short, some died and starved to death where they stayed at. Some even turned to cannibalism.
'Some even prayed and in turn hoped that the alicorn god would save them from the dangers that they were facing. That they would be spared and given plenty of food to eat and water to drink. But for most they died. Some were able to live, but they soon questioned the ways of the church and let's just say the whole religion collapsed. The council didn't really care through since they weren't the ones that started the whole damn thing in the first place. Instead crazy ponies did. Now some were good at heart and honestly believed that they thought what they were doing was right and did the best they could. But others took advantage of those that were willing to believe in anything and basically branched off and made their own secret cults.
'Some of the cults committed suicide, thinking that there would be a comet to save them and bring them to heaven. As for others, they murdered and raped. They had sex with little children. They did terrible things to other ponies. But, in the end, what happened...happened...and this church here is one of many that stands to tell its past even to this day. Now I believe this church isn't special. The inhabitants of this place left before things got any worse than it did for them. But they were only one of the few that got lucky and survived. I couldn't imagine for those that had hoped but soon had to turn to cannibalism. Let alone joining a scary cult. Aside from that, there's really not much else to say without going into a lot more detail about the past, but like I said, there's a lot that the history books that they teach you kids nowadays are somewhat lies. Not all of it of course is lies, but some of it is.
'But to be honest I don't think that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna or some sort of secret shadow government had a secret agenda to rewrite the history books. If anything I think it's just the arrogance of the ponies nowadays. They aren't aware of what happened in the past, those that write the history books have no clue what occurred. Sure they might have heard of the said past, but as far as evidence goes, they might think it's just myths and fairytales. So they just go with whatever they have documentation for and declare that as history."
I then said, "Well...that's interesting."
It was interesting indeed...just as interesting as hearing people back on Earth saying that Hitler was a good man. But then again..what do I know? More than likely the history books were tampered with back on Earth, but then again...who the fuck really knows anymore? For all I know, the history books were written by Chris Hansen and it was just a prank. Soon there was still silence between us all. The others didn't have much to say, not even Fizzy or G for that matter. Although with G, he still had a smile and looked like he was just chilling in the back. As for Axe and Rock, they too weren't even talking. Although Rock did look a little pissed off, but I think he has always been pissed off. Anyways, I then looked over to Spirit Wings and he looked a little down. Like he wanted to cry. It was weird that he wanted to cry as he never said a word. We didn't even talk to him.
So I walked up to him and sat down right next to him and asked him, "What's wrong there Spirit? Is there a problem?"
Spirit then finally said, "Yes...there is. It's being here. Being here scares me, but at the same time...it saddens me."
I then asked him, "What's so scary and sad about this place? I mean I know it's in ruins and all, but surely it's not that bad."
At that point, everyone else in the building was looking at me and Spirit and was watching and seeing what we were talking about and such.
And so Spirit continued to say, "This used to be the home of my tribe you know. In fact I remember when I was a little colt too. My tribe had nowhere to go so we just settled here. It was fine of course, living in this area. We did what we needed to do to live and we followed where the food was. But then...the day happened...when we were attacked by the cannibals."
I then asked him, "You mean the same ones that attacked us?"
Spirit silently nodded his head and he then said, "We were all slaughtered by them. I remember our homes were burned to the ground years ago and I was terrified. I didn't know what to do so I asked my older sister and she didn't know what to do and she was crying while I was crying. The next thing I know...she was being eaten alive and killed right in front of me. Then my papa, my real papa, carried me on his back and took me to safety. My mama was already dead and long gone.
'He took me as far as he could away from there. But sadly he was stabbed a few times by those animals and...well...he could only take me so far, and by those mountains where we were going, he said to me to run away as far as I could and not look back. Go to a city or village and try to make a life there. And as I was on my own I got picked up by a few other ponies and they took me to the city. And soon afterwards I was adopted by Fighting, my adoptive father. I'm glad that he did adopt me, but...I'm still sad as to what happened before. It brings back horrible memories I just want to forget.It makes me want to forget. I don't want to remember that terrible day and what happened either. I...hope you understand why I'm sad now."
I then said to him, "Yeah...of course I do. But really? It was those same cannibals from before?' Boy...what a coincidence huh?"
Fighting then said to his son, "It's alright my boy...everything will be ok. We'll be far away from here as soon as we can get back on our hooves again. And you won't have to remember it anymore too. So don't worry."
I then asked Spirit, "So...what's the scary part that you worry about?"
Spirit then said, "Well...just being here by itself it a little scary. I feel like there is a ghost around. In fact I remember seeing a ghost."
Rock then blurted out., "Oh give me a fucking break! Everypony knows that ghosts are not real!"
Spirit then said, "Yes they are! I saw one when I was a little one, when my tribe was settled near here. I remember coming here to play, although I was by myself sometimes. And when I cam here alone I would see somepony here. He was wearing a black cloak and had a long beard. He would scare me sometimes and ask me where I was from. I was confused at first, as I asked him where he came from and why he also hanged around there. Then he said he would tell me that he lived there, but it didn't look like he lived here. So I asked him who his name was and he told me it was John. It sounded like a weird name to me, but that is what he said it was. Then he said he was going to kill me if I didn't join his family. I kept asking what family, but he kept saying every time I came by that he was going to strangle me in my sleep if I didn't join. So I eventually stopped coming, but I feel like John is still around you know? Like he's watching us right now."
I then said, "Is...like...John here right now or something?"
Spirit then said, "I don't know...but it feels like he is. But...where ever he is, I hope he stays away from me. In fact...I think I see him right now."
Spirit then slowly raised his hoof and pointed over to the forest that we could see. However, when we all turned our heads to see what he was pointing at, we didn't see anything at all.
Spirit however then continued to say to us, "He's right there...staring at me. Looking like he wants to kill me and eat my legs. He has the eyes of a demon."
And what Spirit was really seeing was a strange looking pony that I somewhat saw before in my dreams as he had crossed eyes and was hiding in the woods.
The pony then said, "Duuuuuhhhhhh...."
Rock then said out loud, "Stop bullshitting us kid! We all know ghosts are not real! They are made up from our minds...got it!?"
Fizzy then said, "Well to be honest, there might be a possibility that ghosts are real."
Rock then said, "Yeah...and how would you know? I thought you were a scientist or something?"
Fizzy then said, "I may be a scientist, but I only work in a specific field. Mostly natural stuff. I don't specialize in the field of the pony's brain. That would be something else quite different from my work. But with ghosts however, I think they do exists. I even believe there's a ghost in the machines sometimes."
Rock then asked him, "And what do you say that you prick?"
Fizzy then said, "Well...we really are not one hundred percent sure what happens when we die."
Fighting then said, "Of course we know...we go to heaven where god lives at."
Fizzy then said, "Well you and many other ponies might believe that...bu..but some do speculate god's existence. Some think that there is no god and we are all here. And once we die, we stop having consciousness and our bodies just rot in the ground. But some say there is only a hell while others do not. That or it's just purgatory for us ponies. It's very not clear what to exactly believe in. I mean, sure there might be documentation from the royal sisters, claiming that there is a heaven, but for all we know they could be lying to us all, mostly because they are the rulers and leaders of our lives after all. But for right now, all we can do is speculate as to what might be in the afterlife. For all we know there are many plains of existence after death where our souls spiritually grows as we move forward and living in a physical body is only part of the spiritual experience.
'I've heard stories before where ponies did séances and they claimed to have contacted the dead and the dead said that there is many plains of existence. But then again they could have lied as well just to get attention, so for all we know, there might just be a giant chicken in the sky that looks down on us all for no reason at all. Or maybe heaven is what we all think it is. Like for example, I think that heaven is filled with nothing but monkeys and god. Well, maybe when we die, that heaven becomes real. Not that it's my personal heaven, but in our minds become our new reality and our souls move on to that heaven and we stay there for the rest of eternity. So one only knows so much after all."
Rock then said, "Yeah...whatever you say...you fucking prick."
Fighting then said, "That's enough out of you Rock. Now I'm not sure what all of you believe in...and if you believe in different, that's fine. But just keep it to yourselves. Right now we don't need to be arguing and fighting amongst each other. Like Knight said before, we need to get our shit together and survive. So for right now, I think we have rested enough so we should possibly move on before it gets dark."
I then said, "Hold on, before we leave...I just want to say to Spirit that...I believe you. Not out of pity...but...I've seen ghosts myself."
Rock then said out loud, "Oh shut the fuck up!"
Fighting then said to Rock, "Hush now!"
I then continued to say, "I've seen some ghosts in my past. Granted though I'm not sure if they are really real to tell you the truth. Now I'm not lying that I said I saw some ghosts, but sometimes I wonder. Are the ghosts that I saw was some sort of spirit or was it from my past haunting me? Or is it from deep inside my soul and that is where the ghost comes from? I'm not really sure what to say, but...I've been having a ghost haunt me for years. And to be honest...it's kind of scary, but at the same time, not really. But...to keep it short. Let me ask you this? What makes a Ghost...a Ghost? It is the unknown? Is it because it hides in the shadows? Is it because it's in another realm of existence? Is it because it's all in our minds? That's all I have to say."
And then...a shot was fired. We heard it as a bullet came by me. It hit the ground of course, although it was a bit odd as to why the bullet hit the ground. The bullet could have easily hit me in the head and I would have been dead, but for whatever reason, the bullet never hit me. Of course, I know why and I'm just teasing you fuckers.
Anyways, as the bullet landed, we were all startled and we looked to where the bullet came from. When we did, we all looked up to see on top of that rock wall was TF and his group standing on top, standing high and tall and mighty as the sun shined on top of them. It was oddly in a way majestic, but yet at the same time fucking scary as TF and his group were all holding guns..well except for Sky of course.
He was standing behind them all. As for TF and his group, they first talked amongst themselves. Also, quick side note, Snow was the one that fired the bullet towards me as he was the one laying on the ground with his rifle out.
Well anyways, Snow then asked TF, "Can I ask you something? Why didn't we just shoot Knight? We've hunted him down like you asked and he was right there not paying any attention towards us. We could have gotten him right then and there."
TF then said, "I understand your concern. But to be quite honest with you, I want him to suffer greatly. I want him to fear us and have to lose everything and everypony on his side that he has right now. I want him to see his world slowly burn in front of his own eyes and I want to savor every bit of his misery. In other words, I would like to beat him like a gentlecolt...and not a savage."
Snow then said, "Right...but it does seem to me that you really must hate Knight then. I mean...I've got to be honest, he doesn't seem so bad, at least looking from here. Why are we trying to kill him again?"
TF then said, "Well I'll give you the short version of what I said. We knew each other once long ago. We were close friends. But then one day he ended up forgetting me and who I was along with a few others. And then ten years later he came crawling back to me and wanted to be friends again. But I said no along with my other friends. But then he had the balls to kill us all. I was the only one that he left alive and now I have lost everything and I want him to suffer the same fate as well. But to be fair though, we attacked first, but then again, we just didn't want to be friends and we didn't want to see him again was all.
'But in the end he had left me no choice but to instead try and kill him. And as many attempts passed, I constantly failed. even once where it was so easy, but yet I still failed to kill him. And in the end, here we are now. I have my chance to kill him, and I shall do it. Besides, I want to kill him, not let any of you kill him. The others you can kill, I really don't care about them. I just want Knight to feel like he can escape and have hope that he shall live, but at the very last second, I want to take that last bit of hope from him away and rip it out of his heart and soul. I want to crush that last bit of hope right in front of his face and break him to the point to where he gives up all hope indeed. I want to end him the way he did me. Because in truth, I am dead inside. The old me is dead, everything about my past is dead. But then, one night in the woods, I was reborn again. As a reborn soul, I want to take this opportunity to use my new found knowledge and make Knight really suffer the worst of the worse. Although I ask you though...what is the worst thing there is in life to really make another pony suffer I ask?"
Snow then replied with, "I don't know...uh.....certainly not death...that's for sure."
TF then said, "Oh you've got that part right. Death is if anything the most forgiving thing you can give to a poor soul. Release them from their nightmares is what giving death is. No...death is not the right answer. But what is the worse of the worse though?"
Snow then said, "I don't know...you tell me. Clearly it sounds like you know the answer."
TF then said, "Oh you bet I do. The answer is simple...it's in their heart...taking that away is what gives them worse of the worse. You see in our hearts we have certain things placed in it. Whether it being love or the memories of our past. The ponies that we hold dear to our souls. The love we have for water and food. Whatever lies within their heart is the answer to what will break them. As far as I know, for Knight, what lies is within his own heart is his memories that he holds dear. However, it's more than just simple memories that he loves so much. However, that is the part that I can't exactly tell what else remains in his heart and soul. But I can only guess what lies in his heart and if I let him live today, I could possibly try and figure out what he loves so dearly. But one thing is for sure.
'Hope is in everypony's heart. Whether it be the hope for their lives, hope for materialistic things they wish to receive, or the hope for all ponykind...everypony has hope one way or another. That is without a doubt the ultimate truth of it all. And as for Knight, he certainly still has hope in him, especially since he is so young after all. The young have so much hope and love in their hearts at first, but after you break them...their hearts soon turn black and they end up spoiled souls with nothing left to live for other than destruction of themselves. That or of course, them giving up and ready to ask for death. In which case, I'm going to try and take that away from Knight today if I can. To take all that he loves from him in the end. Although to tell you the truth though...I kind of want to let Knight live today."
Snow then said, "What? Then that would mean this trip would have been for nothing."
TF then said, "Oh I know...but it would satisfy me in the end knowing that I get to mess with Knight a little longer. To be honest, I imagine me and Knight on the edge of a hill, overlooking all of Equestria. And I'm there, standing tall and mighty as Knight is withering on the ground, begging for death. And right before I kill him, I show him all of Equestria, burning to the ground, showing to him the castle at Cantorlot in ashes as everypony else is in flames. Children crying for their parents and wanting things to go back to normal. Helpless babies, crying for their poor mothers that will never be coming back and them dying of starvation and with no love or care to receive. I want to see everypony and everything burn in front of Knight's eyes. I want him to see what I saw that day when he took my only friends away from me. When he came back after forgetting me ten years and leaving me to my own devices in a dump that I had to call home.
'I want him to see what he did to me that day. And eye for an eye I say. An eye for an eye. I want to look into his eyes and see in his reflection as to what I saw. And only then...only then when he feels what I have felt on that very day...I'll forgive him for all the wrong that he has done to me. And then I'll give him a quick and painless death. As a gentlecolt, it is my duty to do so as we are still friends in the deepest regards to our bonds that we had made for each other years ago. And for that, I would make sure he dies an honorable death. And then afterwards, I would bury him in a graveyard along with his friends and peers. And then, I picture myself walking away from it all and finding a new place to call home until the day that death comes from. And whether or not I would be punished for those that I've killed besides Knight or not, I do not know. But if I do, I would be willing to burn for it myself, because in the end it is all worth it. It's worth going through the trouble of having Knight's world burn before his eyes just to see him suffer.
'It's worth all the killing and pain that I give to others. To me, it means more than life itself. And even if I don't get to see Knight is shambles, I still want to see his world burn anyways. Because even if he were to kill me before I had the chance to kill him, chances are his world will still burn, one way or another. Even it isn't by my hoof, his world will fall apart. Because with what I've seen with Knight, he's a time bomb or a bad seed. I don't know how to explain what I'm getting at. The best way I can put into words is that with Knight, even if I am not there to see his end, he will surely bring the destruction of his end by his own hoof. In the end, he is still the kid that I knew all those years ago. And the funny part, he hasn't changed one bit since then."
There was a slight pause, and while they were talking amongst themselves, for us we were just standing there, not sure what to do. I mean, they had guns pointed to us after all, which would mean if we would try to leave, they would more than likely shoot us and kill us.
Anyways, there was a pause for a moment, but then Snow finally said to TF, "You are one scary pony. You know that?"
TF then responded with, "Oh I know. Sometimes I worry about the stability of my own mental state. Every night I hear voices in my head telling me to do certain things. Certain bad things. And sometimes I listen and do what the voices ask of me to do. Sometimes the voices just tells me to sit in a dark room alone and just listen to the silence. Just listen and think for a moment about life and what I'm doing. Think about my past and the consciousness that I have now and ask myself how did I get to this point in my life? I used to think the voices were just my conscious telling me what was morally wrong and what was morally right. But now I think those voices are calling to me. In fact it's more than just voices...it's a ghost from the past telling me what to do. Or...at least what sense of it I can make."
Snow then said, "I'm starting to think that you need help after we're done here. I mean I'm crazy for killing and sometime see things, see my victims that I've killed...but even then I'm not as crazy as you are."
TF then said, "Oh but that's what they all say to me. Get help, seek help, find help. But what if I didn't need help and I was just fine? Ponies like you only say that because what you don't see as standard in life and in society, it must be condemned one way or another. But, that is a conversation for another time. For now, we have our prey in our sight of us and we should act now as the time is right. Fire again."
And so another shot was fired and a bullet hit near me on the floor once more. After I was startled and took a quick step back, I then looked up and said to TF, "what do you want from me!?"
TF then said, "I want you to surrender my dear friend!"
I then said to him back, "You know I could possibly get TK here...maybe! And he'll..kick your ass or something!"
TF then said, "Oh but he isn't here right now is he!? And besides, I thought you didn't want TK here to kill me! I thought what happened back on the cliff, you wanted me to live!?"
I then said back to him, "I did! But I wanted us to be friends again! Now...you're just being an asshole!"
TF then said, "An asshole!? Look who's being the asshole! You're the one who forgot about me after ten fucking years and expected me to come back to you!"
I then told him, "Oh come on! Can't you just bury the hatchet and let that go! I said I was sorry! And besides, you're the assholes here! You're the one who has the guns pointed at us!"
TF then said, "You're the one that fucking killed me friends!"
I then said, "Well you attacked us first! What was I supposed to do, just let you fucking kill me and my friends!?"
TF then said, "You're the one that still used violence against us despite what we did!"
I then said, "How does that make any sense!?"
TF then said, "I don't know...but I'm sure it does in some countries!"
I then said, "Which countries!? The middle east!?"
TF then said, "Yeah...that place. They have much of an IQ there that is equal to a lemming!"
I then said to him, "Nope! They are more or less equal to those sand niggers from Star Wars! You know...the ones that attacked Luke in A New Hope!"
TF then said, "Well if you want to put it that way...maybe!"
I then said to him, "Well to be honest the Muzzies in the middle east could be compared more to something like in Fallout! I mean...they're already living in a wasteland! I mean if you nuked them, they wouldn't know the difference with the exception of cancer radioactive skin! That and AIDs!"
TF then said back, "I don't think AIDs would be a factor in that equation!"
I then said to him, "Well to be fair AIDs are all around us. I mean, you've got Africa, RedLetterMedia, Black People, gay people, Zebras, and a whole bunch of dead and alive celebrities! Especially Rob Schneider! He has more AIDs than a polar bear on steroids!"
TF then said, "What does a polar bear have to do with any of this!?"
I then said, "I don't really know...but a polar bear is really fucking white! And better than black bears!"
TF then said, "Technically polar bears aren't really white. If you had paid attention in school, you would know that polar bears have a clear fur color but due to living in the arctic, that clear fur color has a white look to it!"
I then said, "Oh come on! I paid attention in class! Just the other day I remembered sunshine plus lollipop plus rainbow equals two! ... Oh wait! That was Celestia's class from a few years ago! My bad! What I meant to say was I remembered something from my school days! It was that...black guy....that one black guy that had an X at the end of his name! What was it!? Was it the...uh...Malcolm in the middle X-Men!? No...n-no...that wasn't it! It was....that one black guy that was an asshole to all the white people...and was also a Muzzie I think!? It was...MALCOME FUCKING X! Yeah that's who he was....he was in the Civil War or something right!?"
TF then said back to me, "It was the Civil Rights movement you dumbass! I think all of that weed that you've been smoking has been getting to you over the past few years!"
I then said, "Well you know Wolf and I smoke a lot of the time! We have our moments! I mean I know it can be a problem sometimes, but we do our best to be smart sometimes and we manage! Wait...how do you know we smoke weed!?"
TF then said, "Let's just say I know enough about you and where you live while keeping away from TK's sight. Because I know that devil son of a bitch can track almost everything! But he hasn't found me yet...not even his high tech sensors in his helmet can find me!"
I then said, "You've been at my fucking house!? How dare you good sir!? How fucking dare you!?"
TF then said, "Oh don't bitch about it Knight! I've done much worse to you in the past. Like that time when I tried to erase you from all of existence!"
I then said, "Yeah...I don't really remember that one happening! Time traveling is really fucking confusing!"
TF then said, "Tell me about it! I had to go through several timelines just to get rid of your sorry ass...all to have it fucked up by your little pet TK ruining it all and bringing you back into the right timeline!"
I then said, "TK isn't a pet! He's a...friend of mine!"
TF then said, "Right...a friend...a friend that doe what he wants, when he wants, except for when you're around. Then he sits down and behaves like a good dog and he'll do whatever you tell it to do. And when he disobeys, you just tell him that he has been a bad dog and you move on. Just like the time when he killed all of my fucking friends!"
I then said to him, "Well come on...that wasn't my fault! He did what he had to do to protect me! Wait!? What were we talking about again!?"
TF then said, "I'm not really sure either myself! I think you got us off track!"
I then said to him, "Me!? Why me!? I didn't do anything to get us off track! You're the one that did it!"
TF then told me, "Oh please Knight, we all know you get off track on certain conversations at times!"
I then told him, "Well last time I checked I didn't have ADHD...or was it ACDC? I don't remember! Was it Kazuhria "Empty an M9 into the welfare line" Millar Disease!? Now that I think about it...that's a weird fucking name for a disease!"
TF then said, "Yeah well ponies sometimes comes up with weird names for thing...we're getting off track again! As I was saying my dead friend...we want your surrender. I can promise I won't kill you...yet...but the rest of your friends will surely die. Snow over here really would like to shoot something and I would like to give him the pleasure of using his rifle to kill something for once!"
I then told him, "Fuck no! Maybe! You can have them!"
Rock then said quietly to himself, "So much for being a team..."
G then got up from his seat and walked past me to be the center of attention. When he did, everyone on top of the rock wall raised their arms and was ready to fire as they wondered what was going to happen next.
G still had his smile on as usual and he raised a hoof up and said, "Hold up a minute there! Now I see that you Knight and that guy over there have some issues and have problems in the past. Am I right there..."
TF then said, "Oh you bet your ass that we have a problem!"
G then continued to say, "Well,....why don't we just be all cool about it and just have a nice friendly chat about it!? You know...we can build a fire place and stay here for the night and we can all talk about our problems that we have for each other here! And then we can maybe search for some food, share it, and just have a nice friendly chat. And if we don't get anywhere tonight, we can sleep on it and in the morning, we can all have cool heads and we can talk about this peacefully!
'Then afterwards when we get our differences solved, we can all head home through those two mountain tops and be safe once more. Then we can all be friends and everything will be nice! I mean come on...doesn't that sound so much better than trying to kill one another!? Isn't that much better than trying to go bang bang and stuff like that!? Isn't that cool to be friendly and nice! Come on! You've got to admit that it's really a nice idea to do so! I mean, come on...we're not animals. We're cool ponies that can get along! I mean after how many years have ponies been around!? Like a million...right!? Well...how come we're here!? Surely the ponies back then didn't try to kill each other twenty four seven now did they!? Surely at some point one of those old ponies had an idea spark in their head and say that why not just gather around a table and talk about this stuff!
'And now like a million years later, here we are! We are still alive, have friends, and have peace with other nations! If fighting and violence was the answer to our problems, we wouldn't be here right now! We would be in wars that never ended or even worse, ponykind would be all but extinct! We would all be nothing right now if it wasn't for harmony and peace and being cool and chilling! And I believe this is just another matter of just somepony having the guts to come up here and to say that we can all be friends and be cool about it if we just calm down and just chill for a moment. Give some time to cool our minds off and think about life and stuff...you know!? I mean I've had two best friends that constantly fought with each other all the time! They could never get along! Then one day I decided for them to face each other and talk it out! And now they're best friends for life!
'I'll give you another example if you are not already convinced! I had a brother and a sister! They used to love each other and were good buddies. Then one day they got into an argument of who was dumb and who was smart! And of course they didn't like each other for a while! But then one day I came up to them and said that they're both equally stupid and smart. I mean aren't we all smart and stupid at the same time!? I mean...come on!? We can all be friends if we just be cool about it! We wouldn't be having wars and violence if we just use harmony and the power to just be cool for a moment! If the world could be cool for one day, everypony would be friends!
'So how about it you guys! What do you say about being cool!? We can just talk about it and chill and we can be friends!? Why can't we just be friends!? So what do you say!? Do you want to be cool and just chill and talk it out!?"
G then got on his two hind legs and opened up both of his hooves as wide as he could. It was a bit weird to say the least, but it proved his point. He was having open arms out and was showing that he was willing to show some kind of trust and say that we can all be friends once more.
I even managed to see Sky in the back have a little smile grow across his face, more than likely thinking that there might be a chance of everything being peaceful and happiness.
Then TF said to Blacky, Snow, Pink, Mr. Brown, and Star, who were all holding various types of guns one way or another and told them, "Kill him."
And then they opened fired on G. Many shots were fired and G's body was sprayed with what seemed to be endless amounts of bullets. And somehow he was about to still stand even though he was being riddled with a lot of bullets. And it went on or almost thirty seconds too. They just kept firing at his dead corpse and kept firing and firing.
I mean by the end of it all, he had more holes in him than Swiss cheese. I mean blood was everywhere as he was just shot again and again and again and again. It was amazing to see how many bullets can go through a pony's body at one time.
But eventually they stopped firing and G's corpse finally fell down to the ground and his smile was still on his face. He died how he lived...being cool. And his dead corpse showed it. He fell flat on his stomach of course just to be specific on where he landed. And of course the pool of blood was getting everywhere as well.
After there was a brief silence between both of our groups and me and the others staring at the dead body of G, I then said, "Get to cover!"
And so we all ran, but not before Snow could get another shot in at us as he got Fizzy's back left leg. But he was able to manage to get to cover which was in front of the church. The bullet went right through his leg though. However sadly Snow was too fast for us as he got another victim, this time being Axe. Although he almost made it to safety, but he was the last one to go through the church's entrance and was shot in the head by Snow's gun and fell through the door, flat on his stomach.
You could say, Axe got AXED off from our group. You could say he got...the AXE. So...yeah...two were already dead out of the seven of us and one was injured. Great right? When we got to cover, me, Rock, Spirit, and Fighting was on the left side of the entrance, as for Fizzy, he was on the opposite side, and was looking pretty bad in terms of his back left hoof. In fact, it might have been so bad that if he were to live, he would need to get his back left leg amputated if we didn't get help fast enough.
Once we made it to cover, TF yelled to us, "There's no use hiding! We will get to you all eventually!"
We're willing to wait it out too!"
I then said, "Oh shit...what do we do? They already killed two of us and Fizzy over there isn't looking so good."
Fizzy then responded with, "Yeah...thanks for the news tip. Although to be honest it really hurts right now! I don't even think I can walk right now you know? I think I'm going to be bleeding out before I get any medical attention."
Fighting then looked over to me and he then asked me, "What do we do now Knight?"
I then said, "I don't know!"
Rock then asked me, "I thought you told us you knew what to do? You said you had training."
I then told him, "Yeah, I did, but only the basic stuff. I was never trained to handle seven ponies with guns aiming at us while we're defenseless and in the middle of the woods."
Fizzy then said, "Actually it's five ponies with guns. There's one hanging out in the back not doing much and the one that looks like their leader is not holding a gun at all, but instead just giving orders."
I then said to him, "Thanks for the auto correction."
Fizzy then said as he was starting to look like he was trying to stay calm as he closed his eyes, "Anytime there buddy. anytime."
Meanwhile, on the other side on the church. They were starting to talk amongst themselves.
Blacky walked over to TF and he asked him, "Hey...when Knight mentioned about TK...who is he?"
TF then said, "Nothing to worry about...now get back into position until I say otherwise"
Blacky then said, "I need to know if we're going to be in danger right now damn it. Look if there's something that I don't know that we should know, you need to tell us. And if not for us, at least tell it to Sky...I mean I know he's trying to get used to all of this stuff, but he can barely handle himself right now."
TF then said, "Let's just put it like this. Who Knight is talking about is something to be worried about. But luckily for us, I kept track of him and where he is. Right now he is far, far away from us and will not likely come to rescue Knight. If anything, he won't come at all. Although he might hunt you down if word ever gets out about us. But I doubt it. Now...back to your position."
Blacky then gave TF a stern look and he then said to him, "Fine."
He then walked back over to where he was originally at and he then said to Sky, "Don't worry, everything is fine Sky."
Sky then said, "I know...I'm just...worried is all. I'm starting to get scared."
Blacky then told him, "Yeah...me too."
And then Blacky went over to his position and then pointed his gun where we were at. Back in our own little world, we were panicking on what to do.
Fighting then said, "What do we do now guys? I mean we've got to do something before something terrible happens. Before we are all dead."
Rock then said, "Well we can do nothing. I've got two pocket knives eyed right now that is in G's corpse. If we can just get that, we might just have a chance."
I then said to him, "They have guns Rock. They'll kill us before we even have a chance to get close to them with the knives. The best we can do is try to get the two knives and make a run for it."
Fizzy then said, "I'll distract them."
Fighting then said, "No...you're coming with us too."
Fizzy then said, "No...just go. I'm done for anyway. My leg has been shot and I will only slow you down if you have to carry me. And besides, it's not like I had much of a life. I mean look at me. I'm a nobody. No pony knows who I am. No pony looks at me. I'm not that really interesting. If anything...I was made to be killed off like this. I was just another life just to be tampered with and be thrown to the side. I'm one of those lives that means nothing and just to die somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. If God is up there, more than likely he or she or whoever it is only made me to only kill me off.
'And honestly...I understand. I'm fine with that. And I really don't care anymore. For once in my life, just let me die how I lived. A pony that nopony else knows or cares about. I mean...I was going to die anyways. I'm not fit to fight for survival. I'm only fit to do math problems and look at stuff in nature. So just give me a rock and as they're moving down the slope on my right, you can sneak past them, quickly grab the two knives from G's jacket, and head for the stairs. More than likely it leads to a secret tunnel that ends up on the other side of that rock wall."
Rock then asked him, "How would you know where it ends up?"
Fizzy then said, "Well considering there used to be a structure there, there's a good chance. And even so more you could still come back this way because either they would think you would have escaped and gone looking for you or they would be torturing me. Either way...you four having a fighting chance at least to get to the mountains before they catch you."
Rock then grabbed a small rock from nearby and then gave it silently to Fizzy.
In turn, Fizzy then said, "Thanks. Now keep your heads low and get moving. And when you see them go down the slope by the left wall and they get over to me, it's your queue to get out of here."
I then said, "Got it...let's get going then."
Fighting then asked Fizzy, "Are you sure about this?"
Fizzy then said, "Yeah...I am. Now get going."
And then we all went...except for Rock which then he said before he came with us, "You know...you're still a prick...but maybe only half a prick."
Fizzy then said, "Get out of here you faggot."
Rock then quietly nodded his head with a small smile on his face. And then he got with us and I was in the lead first and we were waiting for Fizzy to make the distraction.
I then said, "Alright, I'll head down the sitars while Spirit follows me. Fighting and Rock, you two get the knives. We might need it for later. Got it?"
Then everyone else behind me nodded in silence. And so we waited. As we were waiting, TF and his group didn't notice us so far on our side as they kept their attention on the main entrance to the church. So we were good so far. Then Fizzy went over to the corner and threw the rock as far as he could, although it didn't go too far.
TF and his group noticed of course and he then yelled at them, "Come at me you fucking bastards! You maggot faggots! I bet you don't have the balls to fucking fuck with me! I bet you stallions don't even have dicks to come over here! I bet you fuck your girlfriends with your tiny micro dicks! You hear me! You're fucking faggots!? You Niggas! You mother fuckers!"
Snow then said, "Oh I hate it when they insult my mother. Now whoever said that is going to get it from me."
Snow then got up and started to walk towards his right to get down over to the front of the church.
As he did that, Mr. Brown then said, "I already fucked my mother...so to me that's a compliment!"
And then he followed Snow.
Pink then said, "We know already you fucking idiot."
And then Pink followed behind Mr. Brown.
Blacky then got up and made a gesture for Sky to stick by him and then said to everyone else in the group, "I don't know about this. It might be a trap they have for us so be careful."
And then the only two left was Star and TF. TF had a little smile on his face as Star looked at him.
TF then made a small gesture with his hoof and said, "Ladies first."
And then Star went with the others and TF followed last. And so they went towards the right slope and went down to meet Fizzy near the entrance. As TF passed us as I saw, I silently waved my hoof for the others to tell them it was their cue.
And so we did our jobs that I said we would do. Me and Spirit went down the steps to find an open metal door leading down a long tunnel that looked like it had an end that lead to the other side so we could continue our journey. As for Rock and Fighting, they quickly found G's knives and grabbed it with their mouths and ran quietly and fast down the steps and into the tunnel. From there we just ran all the way as we knew we couldn't stop for anything or for anyone.
As for Fizzy...well... Let's just say that Fizzy was fucked. All of TF's group surrounded him and looked down at him.
TF was looking around and he then asked fizzy, "Where are the others?"
Fizzy didn't say a word and kept his mouth shut.
TF then demanded, "I SAID WHERE ARE THE OTHERS!?"
Fizzy then said, "I ain't telling you guys shit."
TF then proceeded to stomp on one of his hooves onto Fizzy's wound, in which case, Fizzy screamed to the top of his lungs as loud as he could. He even whimpered in the end.
TF then said, "Now...I know they aren't here. And I'm fucking sure they didn't backtrack from where they came from either. So tell me this and I can promise you that an easy death will come towards you...where are they going?"
Fizzy then said, "I...I won't say a word. I won't tell!"
TF then said, "Oh you will tell us! We can leave you here for the wolves and the bears to come and pick at your corpse or you can end your pain and suffering right now by one of these fine ponies here that are dying to just get a kill in right now!"
Fizzy then said, "I don't care about your fucking death offer! I don't need the sweet release of death to make me happy! As long as I've got my hopes that I can get through your bullshit...I'm good! I'm...good..."
TF then said, "Oh but you will to have hope in your heart will surely die out eventually. And we can stay here all day."
Blacky then thought for a moment in his head. He was looking around as TF was talking to Fizzy and his mind started to wonder off. Then he saw the two mountain tops that he saw from last night. He thought about it and everything there was to know about it. It's location and what animals were usually around it. He knew some of that stuff from when he was in the Great War. But then a thought came to him. A thought that meant something to him and his group.
He then had wide eyes as he made a realization and he then quickly went over to TF and said, "They're going over to the mountain pass!"
TF then asked him, "Excuse me?"
Blacky then said, "The mountain pass! It's the closest thing near here where they can get out of the woods and head back to a town to safety! And it's not too far from here either so they could be there any minute by now! So we have to leave right now!"
TF then looked over to Star and told her, "Take care of business here and meet up with us ahead once it is done...got it? And make sure to make it very painful for him. The rest of you, move! Now!"
And then TF's group except for Star went ahead and ran towards the mountain tops. And as they went ahead, Star looked back at Fizzy and Fizzy looked at her and he knew that he was fucked. He then gave one last gulp and then horrible things happened to him. He screamed of bloody murder as he was being killed as his back was to the gray stone wall of the church. That gray, old stone that looked like it could have been made for a road.
BACK A FEW MONTHS AGO...
And once more, we go to a flashback. A flashback in time...a time when it was like..a while...before any of this stuff happened. Let's just say it was a really long time ago, but yet, not long ago. So, where do we start off with this flashback? Let's see...ha! I know. Well, it starts off with TF and Star riding into town.
Not just any town though, but a special one. It was as big and busy as a city like Manehatten for example. It's the look and feel of it, but yet, it wasn't that big in terms of size. It had the buildings, the architecture, the smell of Manehatten, but in truth, it was small like the size of Ponyville or Stalia. It was a village sized city. And a busy one at that. But the beautiful part of this small scaled city was that it was always busy with ponies going in and out of town.
It was a place to stop at too for those that were constantly on the road to wherever they were going. It had the normal small town businesses as usual that you would see. But it also had bigger areas too. It's a bit hard to explain what I'm getting at, but I guess you get the idea though. But the part that was odd, despite how busy it might have been with strangers going in and out constantly, it was quite peaceful.
Most ponies knew each other's names. Most ponies were nice and friendly. And those that were just wondering on in were greeted with a smile and with open arms...hooves...whatever. Sure, sometimes you might have a kid that acts mean to another kid every now and then, but chances were that mean kid got reformed and became friendly towards others.
It was a nice place to live you could say. Granted though it would get kind of crowded and noisy almost all of the time, but it was still nice. A big city feel but all in a small scale. Well, you might be wondering what this city is called. Don't you all...well, thankfully I have a name for you. This city was called...Beansville.
An odd name I know, but the founders of this city had the word "Bean" in their names so there you go. Well in Beansville, it was busy as always. TF and Star walked on in and as they walked in, despite how they might have looked or what they were carrying or the way how Star was dressed, they were given smiles by those that they were passed by. For Star, she didn't feel anything by it.
But with TF, he felt a bit odd walking by these kinds of ponies since he wasn't used to the friendly atmosphere. But he kept walking along with Star. As they walked by, the sky was a bit cloudy, no sun to be seen in the sky, but it was still a bright and busy place as always. The ponies of the town didn't let the sunless skies get them down. They saw little children play in the streets and laughing and giggling.
TF just looked at the children and what he saw in his eyes were them burning alive as he still had the vision of Equestria in flames. But he just ignored that as they walked by. Why was he in town you may ask? Well, let me explain to you what happened. Well TF and Star was about in the middle of town, just walking by calmly. They weren't looking for anypony in particular. They were just honestly passing on by.
But TF then eventually said, "I have to admit Star..I am starting to get really tired of walking and pulling this cart."
Star then slowly looked towards TF and she then finally showed an emotion...through eyes of course She raised on of her eyebrows and it looked like Star was a bit confused. Here is a terrifying person...pony...whatever...that wants everyone else to burn and die a slow and painful death. And he will go to the ends of the Earth for it...and he's saying that he is tried like a normal person...pony...you get the idea.
He was...sort of acting not like himself. But then again to be honest, if you were walking for days on end and pulling a cart, wouldn't anyone get eventually tired. Sure they stopped for the night before, but it was usually out in the open where vermin could get to them in their sleep and kill them or they could get mugged or something. For once they were in a town where they were welcomed and they would be able to stay for the night in a nice cozy bed for once.
TF up until this point was always on the run and never safe. Either he had places to go or someone else might try and kill him or something. But he didn't mind it, but just being in a nice place filled with friendly faces that welcomes him was a nice change.
Well, TF then looked around and then said, "This is a bit of an odd place don't you think Star?"
Star as usual didn't respond, but instead just kept walking along with TF as they moved through the city. Slowly of course, they walked slowly and took their time to conserve energy, especially with TF being tired and such.
Well, TF continued to say, "I've never seen such a place filled with happy ponies than I have before. And I've been to Ponyville. But unlike Ponyville where something might go wrong, this place just feels calming and oddly enough relaxing. Now exactly why I feel that way, I'm not sure, but for some reason that's what I get from walking through here. Perhaps it's because of the little ones playing in the streets happily or everypony here wearing a smile. Perhaps it's due to a lack of chaos running amuck.
'Or perhaps it's just how life is here and that nothing bad will happen here. Not even a fight that breaks out at a bar or something. Nope, this place looks and feels like a town that will just know your name if you stay long enough. And to be honest, I feel as though as if my heart is feeling something. Maybe I'm feeling...I don't know...happiness again. That I feel calm and collected in my mind and that for once I'm at a place that feels good to be in. I mean I've always been going from place to place. I've lost all that I know and loved. So for once, this seems that I have come across a place that I actually like and would give a damn about. That is what my heart is telling me anyways. But sometimes I prefer not to listen to my heart, but instead listen to what my mind tells me.
'And my mind right now is telling me to move on and hopefully one day this town will be gone and in its place will be the ashes of where the buildings once stood. Not sure if that sounds right, but, you know...that's how I am feeling at this moment. Then again I am also quite tired as well Star. I've been up since four in the morning and constantly walking since then. I haven't even taken a day's break since I started finding those other ponies that I was looking for. First it was Snow, Then you, then Mr. Brown and Pink.
'By the way Star, that's their codenames if you haven't figured it out yet. Along with yours of course. And overall I've gotten most of the ponies that I was looking for all except for the one that will go by the name of Blacky. But I have to get him when I have rested. For now, I suggest that you go out and find a place of your own."
TF and Star then stopped in their tracks and Star just stared at him blankly.
TF then said, "Oh don't give me that look Star. You know how it is with these ponies. They worry if something is out of place. Not that it matters. If ponies are used to seeing griffins and other mythical beasts, I'm not sure why they would find you odd, but they do in the end. And I cannot help but let their prejudice go without an argument.
'Besides, we're supposed to be keeping low and not drawing any attention. We wouldn't want word to get out about us and what we're planning on doing. Let alone having Cantorlot guards and those royal sisters coming after us. That is the last thing that we need. Anyways, like I said Star, you should go off on your own and find yourself a place for yourself outside of this town. Perhaps go explore the world while you have the chance. It's not like you'll get chance to explore worlds everyday."
Star once again just stared at him with no words at all.
TF then noticed her silence and he then asked her, "Why do you never talk star? I know you can, it's not like you have a disease or anything. Although it does look like it though. No matter, you do what you want to do and if you prefer to keep your mouth shut and look like a silent assassin, then by all means go ahead. Just know that you must communicate somewhere besides you just staring at me. Well...you should be on your way now...shouldn't you Star?"
Star then slightly nodded her head and then walked away from TF. TF then said, "Well, she is now off on her own. I cannot believe I found her the way that I did. I was expecting her sister, but oh well. She will just have to do...unless of course she proves me wrong that is. Anyways, I must find a place to stay. Surely even though I cannot see the sun shining, it must be at least mid-evening. In which case it would seem to be the perfect time to find a nice bed and breakfast to turn into for the night. Hopefully not too expensive, this worlds' currency is quite odd and somehow a bit hard to get a hand on without having a commitment to a job. Now let's see, where should I go?"
TF then looked around to see if he couldn't find a nice little spot to turn into. He looked left and right and searched all around him, but just found nothing near him.
TF then said, "Never mind, I'll find a place to stay regardless. There must be a place to stay at anyways for the night somewhere in this town. Now let's see...where should I go to find a place to stay? Or perhaps where should I go to ask directions for one? Hmmmm... I know...how about the local bar? Yes, that sounds like a nice place to be. It has the drunks, sure, but surely the owner of the establishment should give me some directions. Especially if they are honest business ponies at heart, they will surely help a "citizen" of Equestria find a place to stay. Especially if I pay for a beer or something. Who knows really. Now where is the bar?"
TF then looked around and sill didn't find anything, not even the bar he had mentioned that he wanted to look for. TF then looked around some more and thought to himself that perhaps he needed to find a place where it is packed and filled with ponies and more than likely it would lead to a bar. So TF looked around a second time and luckily he found a bar called The Twenty One Knights. It was an old timey looking bar for Equestria standards, but it was what he was looking for and so he went towards it.
When he went towards its, he could hear signing and cheering coming from inside and from right then and there he knew it was a bar. So he went up to it, unhooked himself from his cart and was about to go inside. However, right before he was about to walk through a green-ish door, a pony walked out that was dressed all nice and such with a little hat on top of his head.
TF saw this as an opportunity to ask who the owner of the bar was and so he grabbed the stranger's attention and he then said, "Excuse me but, may you tell me who is the owner of this establishment?"
The pony then said with an accident, an Irish one, "Oh I know who he is. I'm friends with him ya. Why? What do you want from him?"
TF then said, "Well I am new around here and all and I'm a bit confused and wondered where I could find a nice place to stay for the night. I know it is a bit odd asking an owner of a bar, but I would like to ask somepony that knows the area, you know?"
The pony then said with a smile, "You're new here? Well then welcome to Beansville! Are you visiting here or are you passing by?"
TF then said, "Oh I am just passing by. Just need a place to stay for the night is all. I'll be on my way by morning."
The pony then said, "Well that's fantastic! We always love strangers coming by. You never know who you'll meet. Who knows, maybe one day we will get to see the princesses or something like that. I'll go inside and check with him...ok? So just stay right here Mr...?"
TF then said, "Just call me TF. And your name?"
The pony then said, "My name is Green stone. Although ponies like to call me Johnny sometimes. Either one works. I'll be back in a jiffy Mr. TF."
And so Green stone went back inside to go ask his friend about the hotels or the bed and breakfasts in the small town and what they all had to offer. And so TF waited outside and kept to himself mostly. And so as he waited, he looked around and took in the sights. To keep his mind off the time and how long he was waiting for, he looked around and tried to maybe see some details that he might have walked by. He looked around and saw a store that he didn't noticed that he passed by. It loomed through the windows and it was selling candy and various other assortments of delectable delights of treats.
He saw the families going in and out of the store and what appeared to be the store owner selling his homemade candy at the counter and with a smile on his face. The pony seemed to be old, but yet was enjoying seeing the smiles on children faces as they enjoyed their sweets that their parents paid for. If anything, it would seem as if the pony was doing his dream job and that the pony enjoyed doing what he did for a living while makings others smile and laugh.
So TF looked around some more then saw a pony and her owner walking along. The dog looked to be happy and so did the owner. To them it seemed as if the world was perfect and nothing could go wrong at all. They were walking and the dog saw a stray cat walk by as well. But instead of the classic dog chasing the cat thing, the dog and the cat instead played together in the street as the owner was talking to good friends that she more than likely knew from years ago.
It all seemed peaceful at that moment. And so TF looked around some more and then found a trail that looked like that it led to a park for the town. The park from where TF was standing looked like a nice, well kept up place where the trees were tall and firm while the grass and bushes were green and healthy. He could also see families and pets playing in the park seeing ponies laugh and play and just overall enjoy the day that they were having despite the sky only being covered with dark and gloomy clouds.
It looked like this town was not going to let anything bad happen, to it even though a day where there was no sun occurred. TF was willing to bet even that if it was raining or snowing harshly or there was lightning and thunder, the ponies would still be out and about and wanting to have a nice day. The ponies in Beansville looked like nothing bothered them at all and were the most happiest and relaxed town there ever was. Of course within TF's mind, he was thinking of how that might change once the guns get introduced into the area. But then TF thought again and perhaps even then they would just use it for carnival fairs and toys for the children.
You know, those toy guns where kids use it and pretend that they are cowboys and Indians...and the cowboy kills the Indian and chucks the Indian into the oven and they then eat the Indian. And then the game is over and little Billy gets convicted for murder and has to go to jail with a bunch of black people that are going to rape him analy.
And then the parents of the Indian child get sued that parents of the cowboy and then soon mommy and daddy are fighting. One of them hangs themselves while the other ones dresses up like Wonder Woman and masturbates while hanging themselves because why not? And then mommy gets knife and starts to cut herself because she is depressed and has been taking a lot of depression pills. But the doctor tells her to take happy pills, but mommy takes the happy pills, the voices comes back to tell her that she needs to kill her baby and eat her baby.
And then soon the police gets involved and the case ends up being domestic abuse as daddy hits mommy several times in the face and eventually beats mommy to a bloody pulp with a toaster. And then daddy tells the kid that they are going to Disneyworld to make it all better. And then they move Illegal Mexico because daddy is on the run from the oops and if he gets caught he gets sent to the same prison where the kid was sent and he too gets raped by black people.
Especially when he drops the soap. And then everyone goes back to what they were doing and forget everything about what just happened and think to themselves...where is Colombo nowadays? is he a Jew? Is he...Italian? Was he involved in World War Two in any shape or form since he was Italian? Perhaps he was...perhaps he was Mussolini and wanted to be a movie star in Hollywood. Or maybe...he's just some old guy that has problems. Then you just end up going back to your news and wonder why you're dying inside as you think about taking the shotgun tonight and blowing your own brains out.
But then you think twice and remember that there is another episode of your favorite TV show that you really wanted to watch, so you postpone your suicide till next week until you realize you don't own a shotgun. Then you wonder what the hell you used that night to kill that burglar that one night when your home was broken into.
Then you remember no one broke into your home and instead remember you woke up the next day to a dead body. Then you wonder if you're going to jail with the same kid and father where the mean black people are at waiting to rape you. And then you realize...there is no god anymore. Yeah...it's just like that. That's life for ya...and life is not easy on you. Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh yeah...9/11. No wait...that's for next time, what I mean to say was a kid goes to Chuck E. Cheese with his uncle.
Then his uncle buys him a pizza. Then he tells the kid all about the holocaust. Then he takes the kid back to his van. Then he tells the kid to take off all of his close and tells him that they are going to play a little game. And then the kid blacks out and represses all that happened in that van. No wait...I just described the biography of some guy named Ralph. My bad. I've got things mixed up now...you know...since I went off track as usual. Wait...wait...now I remember.
Ok, so, TF was looking around and around and notice one more thing that was nice and calming. He noticed a few kids playing with some marbles and a ball. Well all he did was stare at them until the ball that they were passing to each other ended up towards TF. Well TF didn't want to make a big deal out of it so he took the ball and passed it to the kids that were looking at him and eagerly waiting to get the ball back.
So TF, with strangely enough a smile on his face, gave the ball back. And once the kids got their ball back, all they did was stare at him with their big eyes. But then they started to smile and TF was confused. He threw them their ball back, what else could they possibly have wanted from him? But soon they started to give a smile back and TF slightly walked towards his right as he got an idea in his mind.
Well, once the kids saw him slightly walk to the right, they did the same. And then TF slightly walked towards to the left and the kids followed suit. And then TF crossed his legs and the kids again crossed their legs and followed in TF's footsteps...hoofsteps...whatever. And then TF started to jump and down while laughing while the kids did the same while giggling and they soon were having a little fun. After a while of jumping, TF did a little dance and soon the kids tried to do the same thing, but one of them fell down but got back right up and laughed it off and they all soon went back to their own business.
TF kept laughing a little bit though until his laughter slowly died down and then he said quietly to himself, "Ahhhhhh....kids. They're going to die one day."
So TF continued to wait outside the door, hoping for Green to return, but then from the corner of his eye he saw the door open. He had thought it was Green, but instead it was another pony that had lots of papers that he had to carry with his mouth while some were strapped to his back and soon he tripped and fell over and bumped right into TF. TF thought to do the right thing and the gentlemen thing to do and helped him out.
The pony that tripped and fell down then said to TF, "Oh I'm terribly sorry there sir. I'm in a bit of a rush."
as TF was helping out the poor pony with his papers, he noticed the pony was wearing nice cloths. He was all dressed up, had a nice little hat on, and that the pony was wearing a gray suit with a red tie on. However, he didn't see his face though.
TF then said towards the pony and he then said, "It's not a problem. I understand these things happen."
As the pony was picking up the last of his papers, he then said, "Oh well thank you then. Best of wishes for you then."
And then as the pony raised his head from the ground, TF got a good look what the pony looked like. And once the light hit the pony's face, TF saw him. He saw Sky.
However of course he didn't know who he was of course, but before Sky had the papers back in his mouth, he then said, "You look like you're not from around here."
TF then said, "Well I'm passing by and I am looking for a place to stay for the night."
Sky then said, "Well then, I've got just the place for you then."
TF then said, to Sky, "You do?"
Green then finally stepped out and then said out loud with his Irish accident, "Mr. TF! I've got a good place for you to stay a... Oh..it looks like you've already met the owner of the bed and breakfasts' son then I see."
TF then asked, "I...don't follow."
Green then explained to TF, "You see, I was just about to tell you that my friend knows a really good place to stay for the night that is cheap, but with quality. And this kid here is the son of the owner of the Sky's Bed and Breakfast. But I see that you two already met. I assume this kid here can show you the way, can't you boy?"
Sky then said, "Yup. Although I've got to get going. I've got to get these papers to my father. And then my marefriend is waiting for me at the same place and she really wants to see me today. Come! I'll show you the way Mr. TF...was it?"
TF then said, "TF is just fine. And yes, I shall follow you. Just give me a second to get my cart hooked up and we shall be on our way."
Sky then said, "Alright then, but hurry, because I have to get going now."
Green then said as TF was getting his cart, "Before you leave Mr. TF, make sure to stop on by. My good friend that owns this bar really knows how to serve apple cider and beer."
TF then said as he was ready to go, "I'll keep that part in mind. Thank you very much."
And then TF and Sky were both on their way. But of course Sky wasn't really Sky, his real name is something else, but you knew that already...didn't you?
Anyways, Sky and TF then went ahead and Sky eventually asked TF, "So...you're going to go to the bar later tonight?"
TF then responded with, "No...not exactly. My body is awfully tired right now and I would very much prefer to get to sleep. Are you forgetting some papers...I thought you had some in your mouth?"
Sky then said, "Oh...don't worry about that...those papers weren't that important anyways. It's the ones strapped to my back that are the important ones. I must deliver them to my father as soon as I can."
TF then said, "Oh..well...you do what you do then."
Sky then said, "So...about tonight.."
TF then said, "I already said I am not going. I am too tired to have a drink or two."
Sky then said, "Well you can't just sleep for the rest of the day. You have to eat something."
TF then said, "Well since I thought I was going to a bed and breakfast, I would get something in the morning, if not perhaps whatever you are serving for dinner tonight then."
Sky then said to TF, "Yeah...about that. The kitchen needs some work and so all guests staying are advised to go out and eat."
Then there was a slight pause for a moment.
Sky then said, "It's nothing to worry about. This town has lots of great places to eat at. Especially at the bar. I mean sure it serves alcohol, but it also has some good food too you know. I-I can treat you out for tonight's meal, a little way to say that I'm sorry what happened earlier."
TF then said, "For what happened back there? Don't worry about that, it was an accident. Ponies bump into each other all the time accidently and it's nothing to worry about."
Sky then said, "Well...at least let me do something to make it up to you for bumping into you. I feel bad and all. Granted I always feel bad and my father told me I need not to worry about that kind of stuff, but I feel like I must do something in return."
TF then said, "You can return the favor by leading me to your establishment. Does that sound good enough to you?"
Sky then said, "I guess."
And there was silence between them...for a while at least. Sky then finally noticed the cart that TF was pulling and also noticed there was something being covered up in the back. Of course it was the guns, but he didn't know that though.
So Sky asked TF, "So...what's with the cart and stuff?"
TF then said, "It's nothing. It's just what I travel with is all."
Sky then said, "Really"
He said it was a smile and enthusiasm. Sky then said, "Well...where are you traveling to?"
TF then said, "I'm traveling to different places...seeking out certain ponies for a little trip that I am planning."
Sky then said, "Well that sounds like fun. Trips are always fun. Especially when you have good friends to be with on the trip."
TF then said with a sigh, "Yes...yes it does."
Sky then asked TF, "So...what's the trip about?"
TF then said, "I don't know...how about you guess."
Sky then said, "Hmmmmm...are you're going camping?"
TF then said, "No."
Sky then asked TF, "Are you visiting family somewhere?"
TF then said once again, simply, "No."
Sky then guessed, "Are you on a trip that is related to your job?"
TF then said, "Nope."
Sky then asked TF, "Then I'm stumped. What is it?"
TF then said, "Well I won't give the details. But let's just say it isn't for a kid like you."
Sky then said, "A kid like me? Come on...I can handle anything."
TF then said, "Oh but this is a trip for those that can handle the tough stuff. We're going to be going into the woods and finding lots of dangers ahead of us. Some animal related. Some nature related. And it's a place where the clouds are not controlled by the Pegasi either. So you never know what will happen. Especially since we are going into an area that's going to be really cold and might be a situation where life or death might occur as the temperature drops and you have to stay warm somehow by not losing any body heat whatsoever."
Sky then said, "Wow...sounds scary...and intense. Also sounds like something that would toughen you up huh?"
TF then said, "Yes...yes it would. This trip would turn any kid into a stallion, or a mare I suppose."
Sky's smile then disappeared, but his mind and then wondered off for a moment and thought about how he might would want to go on this trip himself.
However, he didn't have much time to think about it as he then said, "We're here!"
The two eventually made it to the bed and breakfast. It was a decently sized building and with many rooms above for guests to stay at and sleep the night away. So TF unhooked himself once more when he found a decent spot to part his cart at and Sky went inside following TF.
As soon as they got in, Sky then said to TF, "Hold up one minute please. I'll be back to get your room key and stuff. I just have to drop this off to my father."
TF then asked Sky, "Are you the one that does the check ins?"
Sky then said, "Yeah, I work the counter. But don't worry, I'll be back."
TF then said, "Alright, but make it quick. I'm very tired right now and would like to go to sleep."
Sky then nodded in silence and went off to do his duty. As he did, TF waited and spotted a pretty looking young mare in the foyer. In other words, Sky's marefriend. Anyways, TF didn't bother her and instead just concentrated on waiting. With sky, he went to his father's office, quickly dropped off the papers, and went back to TF. As for the details, since I know you Grammar Nazis really like to jack off to it sometimes, Sky walked into his father's office and grabbed the papers from his back.
As he did so, his father then said, "You're back already? That was quick?"
Sky then said to his father, who looked old and had a mustache with a brown mane and such and wearing a nice old timey looking suit, with a pocket watch, "Well I had to get these papers to you very quickly. All you need to do is sign them and some ponies will be by any minute now to come and pick them up."
His father then said "Alright then. Your marefriend though is waiting for you in the foyer. You should possibly go see her now. It isn't polite to keep a lady waiting you know?"
Sky then replied with, "Yes, I know father. I just have to take care of a guest real quick and I will be there to see her."
Sky's father then asked Sky, "We have another guest today? Seems like we're getting more customers than we used to. That's good...very good. Although do mention..."
Sky then interrupted him and said, "Yes father, I already have told him about the kitchen problem."
Sky's father then said, "Well...good then. Well run along then. You have the rest of the day off so do what you will with your time as you please. Just remember to have the guest sign in. I know how you forget sometimes."
Sky then said, "Yes father."
And then Sky left his father's office.
And so Sky eventually came back and he then asked TF, "So then...you want one room for the night?"
TF then said, "Yes, that would be lovely."
Sky then looked behind the counter and looked in the guest check in book and saw if any rooms were available.
He then said, "We have a room available for you for tonight. That will be 30 bits, but I'll give you a discount of 21 bits because of what happened earlier and for me being absent at the counter if that helps."
TF then said, "Look, I'm not looking for an apology, I'll just pay the full amount then."
Sky then looked down and then said, "Oh...alright then."
TF then went into his money pouch that he had on him which was located in one of his side bags that he had on at the time. He took 30 bits and then laid them on the counter and he then gave them to Sky. Sky took them and he then gave TF a guest sign in for TF to sign. And so TF grabbed a pen with his mouth and signed the book.
Then Sky in return gave him his room key and as TF was about to head upstairs, Sky then asked TF, "Wait."
TF then annoyingly looked back and asked Sky, "What...is it?"
Sky then asked him, "Well...perhaps we can still go to the bar at least...for dinner. I-I won't pay of course, if that's what you want and I'll..."
TF then interrupted Sky and then told him, "Look kid...I am very tired. I have been up since four in the morning and I would like to retire for the night if you don't mind."
Sky then said, "Please...and I promise I won't bother you for the rest of your stay here. I promise."
TF then gave a sigh and then said, "Alright then kid...I guess I'll do it. Especially since you said that the kitchen here is broken and I would need to find something to eat anyways. And since I'll be leaving as early as I can, I suppose it's fine. Alright then kid, we'll go. But...if it makes you feel better, we can split the bill...how is that for you?"
Sky's smile started to return slowly and he then said, "Yeah...yeah that sounds great."
Then Sky's smile disappeared quickly and then said, "Wait..I-I need to do something first. Be right back."
And Sky then quickly went around his work counter and went into the foyer where his marefriend was waiting for him. TF saw this and guessed right and TF then saw Sky kneel down right next down to his marefriend and they both were smiling back at each other. To him, he could see young love in both of their eyes. It was a special, rare kind of love. Especially a love like that could last for years to come, then it's very special rare to come across. And so he didn't overhear what Sky and his marefriend and what they were saying. All he heard was whispers coming from them. He could see Sky really smiling and getting a kick out of being by his loved one.
As for what they were saying, Sky said first, "I'm back my love."
His lover then said, "About time. Where were you?"
She then gave a smile and a slight laugh. Sky then said, "Well, I had to do some business for my father. It wasn't very long, in fact it was quick as I had to rush over here to get the papers back to my father."
His lover then said, "I was hoping that you rushed over to see me."
She then gave another slight laugh. Sky then said, "Well, I do try my dear. But I do have to get...get going. I have a customer that needs my help at the moment. But I promise I'll be back to see you tonight. And perhaps...we could uhh...I don't know how to say it...uhhh..."
Then his lover giggled and she then asked him, "Have a little date?"
Sky blushed and he then said, "Uh...yeah...aha ha aha ah..."
Then Sky's lover then said, "Of course we can. Although don't wait too long, my father wants me home at a certain time tonight. But I could always tell him that you need my help with something."
Then Sky's lover gave a weird, but happy look towards Sky, pretty much telling him that they could be naughty together and spend the entire night with each other.
Sky then said, "Well...if you say so. Well, I have to go my love. I'll see you soon."
And then Sky quickly gave her a light kiss on her hoof and went his way. And that was what their little conversation was.
And eventually they both gave a little chuckle to each other and soon Sky got up from the ground and then eventually made his way back to TF and said to him, "Let's go...shall we?"
And then they left. It was starting to get dark of course where the stars were starting to come out as they walked outside. It was sort of beautiful in a sense, but they walked to the bar. And it wasn't as if all the ponies were dying down, there were still plenty of ponies that were out and about of course. And not only that, but ponies around this time were going to places to eat and have a good time at.
Granted it was as busy as in the morning or evening, but there were still quite a few number of ponies around in the streets. And so TF and Sky made their way to the Twenty One Knights Bar and they soon found a place to sit at . Of course it was packed and filled with ponies, but it was a nice atmosphere to go to.
And so as TF and Sky sat at a round wooden table, Sky then said, "I'll be back. I'll go order the food. You can just pay back the other half to me later."
TF then said, "That sounds fine with me."
And so Sky went up to the bar counter to order some food. It of course wasn't five star cuisine, but it was actually some pretty good food compared to other bars around in Equestria that would have pretty shit bar food. Trust me, the bar is Stalia taste like shit, but then again I suppose it isn't as bad as getting food from a random gas station...like...a 7-11 9/11 gas station.
Well anyways, as TF was waiting for Sky to come back with their food, Green stone came walking by and he then said, "Well fancy meeting you here then Mr. TF."
TF looked up and saw Green again, although this time around TF noticed that Green was a tall looking pony. He didn't notice it the first time he saw him.
Well, TF then said, "Well how do you do then good sir?"
Green then replied with, "Very well. Mind if I take a seat here?"
TF then said, "Oh no problem."
And then Green pulled up a chair and sat in it...pony style that is. I mean...ponies of course in this universe are vastly different in terms of bone structure in this universe. And when I mean by that, I mean they can somewhat sit down like a human compared to a pony in real life because...a pony in real life has...backward joints..or at least the last time I checked Wikipedia that is.
Anyways, Green took a seat at the table and green then asked TF, "So...decided to come on in here and have something to eat or drink?"
TF then said, "Well I wasn't planning on it. But that kid you introduced me to earlier decided to take me out tonight and pay half of my meal. And considering that this will possibly the only thing I'll get to eat tonight, I thought why not."
Green then said, "Well don't worry about having to pay Mr. TF. It's on the house."
TF then said, "But wouldn't you want your want to have your friend get paid?"
Green then said, "Of course he does. But he gets enough payment from his regular costumers that lives in Beansville you know. So it doesn't make it that much of a difference if he lets two or three payments slip under the cracks. And besides, I'm his partner in terms of running the place so if it's ok by me, then it's ok by him."
Sky then eventually came back with a tray in his mouth and then placed it on the table. The tray of course was metal and looked a bit rusty. The food that was on the tray were two plates. Both plates having a haybuger and some fries. And along side it were two pints of apple cider for both TF and Sky.
Sky then said, "I hope you like hayburgers."
TF then said, "Well...I...do..."
TF said that because honestly he was still new to the whole hay thing. And so they sat down and ate their meal and took some bites as they talked.
Well, Sky first said, "Oh hey Green. Didn't know you would be here."
Green then said, "Yes well tonight is a bit of a busy night and my business partner does need a little help sometimes. But right now I think he has it. So...I meant to ask you earlier Mr. TF, I know it's none of my business, but where are you traveling to since you said you were passing on through here?"
TF then said, "Well I said the same thing to this kid here. I'm going to a place to find a pony that I'm looking for so I can complete my group so we can go on our trip."
Green then said with excitement in his voice, "A trip you say? Well, that does sounds like quite like an adventurous thing to do. Now where's the group going to?"
TF then said, "Well...into the woods. The harsh and cold woods filled with snow and ice."
Green then had a shocked face on and he then asked TF, "You don't mean The Winter Forest do you?"
TF then said, "What? No. It's the woods nearby Cantorlot, although too far though from it. It's miles away of course, but it's along the train tracks you could say."
Green then asked TF, "Oh...well then why on Earth are you going there for?"
TF then said, "Well...it's quite personal. But let's just say it's going to be a tough trip. A trip that you could say would make a colt into a stallion. It's a trip only meant for the brave and courageous ponies out there."
Green then said, "Well it doesn't sound like my kind of trip. I'll be dead in five minutes!"
And then Green smiled and gave a little laugh. Sky then said, "Well uh...about that trip TF...you don't need an extra pony in your group do you?"
TF then looked at Sky weird and then asked him, "No...are you asking if you want to go do you?"
Sky then said, "Well uhh..."
Green then said as he lightly tapped Sky on the shoulder, "Hey...that sounds like a great idea Sky. You should go with him. You said you've been wanting to go outside of this town and really do something special."
Sky then said, "Well I mean...yes. That is true, but not that kind of special. I would want to go for...well..personal reasons."
TF then said, "Forget it...you're not tagging along."
Sky then asked TF, "Why not?"
TF then said, "I could care less if you came along. But a pony like you would slow me down. It's best if you just stick around here where you know it best. And besides, you would more than likely die there as well."
Sky then said, "No...no I won't. I'll be like you and those other ponies you mentioned you're looking for. I'll be tough and will stick by you guys and we'll get by whatever harsh thing there is together."
TF then said, "No you won't. You may say that now, but you'll just end up getting in the way and end up messing the whole trip up. Like I said, it's not a trip for your kind kid. Just stay home where it's safe. You'll be better off that I can promise."
Sky then said, "Oh...ok..."
Sky then started to have a frown form upon his face and started to look really down and depressed.
Green noticed this but then looked at the counter and said, "Well I've got to run. Looks like the place is starting to pack up some more. If you happen to change your mind Mr. TF about letting this kid go with you, I'll promise you that you would not regret it. And Sky, if you end up going, let me know ok? Alright...bye then."
And then Green stood up and walked away towards the bar and went to help out with his friend at the bar. As for Sky and TF, they kept quiet to each other and didn't speak to one another for the rest of the night. They eventually finished their meals, didn't have to pay for it since it was on the house, and went back to the bed and breakfast. TF noticed Sky's silence though, but it didn't bother him so he just left him alone. And once they got back to the bed and breakfast, TF went up to his room and Sky went into the foyer. As for TF's room and how it looked, it was rather small.
However it wasn't too bad either. It had a bathroom with a simple bathtub and ink along with a toilet and some towels. There was a small bed, a little radio sitting on a night stand nearby, a mirror. There were also some drawers to put his cloths away as well in case he needed to do something with it, although...you know...that doesn't happen too often, but still. You never know when you need to use those drawers in hotel rooms.
There were also some paintings on the wall as well to make the whole place a little less depressing. Overall, the room wasn't too bad, but nothing too fancy either. Then of course Sky went into the foyer room, looking for his marefriend.
However he didn't see his marefriend anywhere.
Instead his father was sitting there in the foyer, sitting in a nice, comfy chair and he said, "Your marefriend left son. She said she had to go and do something. I told you...you shouldn't have left a lady waiting."
Sky then said to his father, "I know...I know..."
And then Sky went up to his room and did whatever he had to do. as for TF, he was in bed, eyes wide awake. He couldn't think properly as he had a lot on his mind.
He then suddenly said "What? What did you just tell me? I'm going soft? No...I'm not going to go soft. Are you mad? I would never go soft. Why would you even say such a thing?"
Then there was silence for a few second. Then TF continued to say, "From what I felt deep down within my heart earlier? Oh give me a break! I only felt that way because for once this town was quite peaceful in a sense. I haven't seen such a place that hasn't had any fighting in years. Cut me some slack for once. And besides, I couldn't help but play with those kids a little...you know?"
Then there was more silence for a bit. Then TF said, "I know you don't give a damn. Neither do I...I just like to take a break every once and awhile is all. And besides...you know I wouldn't dare go soft. You saw how I was with that kid at the bar earlier. He said he wanted to come along with me and I gave a straight answer: no."
Then there was silence again. TF then said, "And besides...I just got an idea how to prove to you that I haven't gone soft."
Then there was silence. TF then said, "What will I do to prove to you that I am as hard as a rock and will not give any mercy? Oh I've got the perfect idea. But it will include that kid. It will have to include him in order to prove you're wrong and so you won't leave me. And besides, it will also benefit me and my plan as well for Knight in the future. I just need to use that kid to prove something is all. And once you see it in action, you will be amazed and you won't regretting being by my side. Trust me, I'll let that kid know that he can come on the trip with me in the morning. Now...let me get some rest while there is still darkness outside."
And so TF closed his eyes and went to bed. And by morning as the sun rose, he yawned and got up from his bed and went towards the door to tell Sky the good news that he would like to hear. However he didn't have to search far for him, as Sky was by the door, all sad looking and stuff.
Sky then said, "I-I know what you said last night and all I want to say is while you can still reject my offer...but I just want to say before you leave today...just...please let me go. I really, really want to go with you on this trip. I mean I can't explain why to you why I want to go so badly, but I just do. So please...please, please, please, please, pleaaaaase with a cherry on top let me go."
TF then said, "Alright...you can go with me."
Sky then looked down to the ground said, "Alright then..I understand and...wait what? You're not joking with me are you? I can go with you?"
TF then said, "That's right. I gave it a little thought last night and I figured, what the hay? It couldn't hurt to have you tag along, now would it? Just as long as you promise to try and not fall behind, you can come with me. But we don't leave now though. A while from now, you'll get a message in the mail telling you where to meet up and when. For now just stay put here until I give you the message to come and meet me...is that clear?"
Sky's smile started to return and then said, "Oh yes...thank you very much good sir. Oh yes..Yes I understand...but thank you though!"
TF then said, "Yes well...it was my pleasure. I'll see you in a while. For now I must be heading out of town."
TF then went down the stairs, turned in his room key and signed out, and went outside to get himself hooked up to his cart.
while he was doing so, Sky had followed him and said to him, "Well..thanks again for letting me go! Oh and thanks for staying with us...tell your friends about us!"
TF then said, "Will do!"
And then TF was off. And as TF was heading out of the city, Sky went back inside with an eager face and was excited to go along with TF on the trip in the near future. As TF was walking out of town, Star was waiting for him, but it looked like she was waiting for him for what seemed like years and was starting to get impatient.
In which case TF responded with, "Oh don't give me that face."
And then the two headed out to go and see Blacky. The end...of this flashback.
BACK TO THE PRESENT...
As yes...back to the present of this part of my life. I guess that makes sense. Well anyways, aside from that flashback, we continue where I left off, the part where me and the group was running. We were running as fast as we could. Granted we couldn't run that fast of course, but we surely tried our very best and as we did, we ran past by a lot of stuff.
For example, we ran by a parrot that was oddly enough in this type of forest and a pony was there yelling, "Poly doesn't want a cracker!?"
Then the parrot replied back to it, "Poly wants a cracker!"
And the pony yelled back at the parrot, "You are lying. Poly doesn't want a cracker. Now you're fucking dead!"
And then the pony just start wailing on the parrot. I know it sounds ridiculous that we came across that in the forest, but it's actually true. We really did come across that. Of course we didn't have time to stop and ask what the hell was going on, but we honestly did see it. It was as bizarre as a New Yorker and a guy from New Jersey being friends.
Anyways, We also ran by a giant enemy crab with someone inflicting massive damage onto it, a black gorilla fucking a kid, a rooster saying, "I'M HERE!", and some old pony standing in the middle of the woods saying, "Where am I? This isn't the grocery store. Someone told me I was on the trolley to go to my daughter's house...wait...where am I? Who am I? Am I real? Does this reality even exists? Am I just a figment of my own imagination? Am I god? Ahhhh!"
That last part was Neon jumping up from the snow and taking that old pony to Neon Hell just so you know. Anyways, we saw some weird stuff running towards the two mountain tops, but what was even weirder was that we smelled what seemed to be like a strange gas in the area. I have no idea what it was, but it did smell funny.
Not gasoline kind of funny, but that kind of funny where you start to see things. I think it was coming from the shrooms doing some shrooms. Anyways, as we were getting closer and closer to our destination, we were leaving TF's group in the dust.
In fact, as I was in front leading, I said to everyone else behind me, "We're going to make it! We're going to live I tell ya! We're going to live!!"
Rock then told me, "Save it for when we are actually out of here Knight!"
Fighting then said, "He's right! We're not out of the woods yet! They could catch up to us any minute now!"
I then told them, "Catch up to us!? Look behind ya, they're nowhere to be found! They are biting the dust by now!"
And I was right, they were left in the dust as they haven't even caught up to us and were very far behind us. As we were far ahead of them, TF's group was hustling it as fast as they could. But thanks to Fizzy and his distraction, we were able to get far ahead of them with time to spare. With TF and his group, they were starting to get tired and such and was just about to give up.
However TF then spotted a nearby cliff that over looked the base of the mountain area. And so they went up to it until they reached the very edge of it. Once they did, they stopped to try and catch their breaths. And soon TF spotted us as tiny little dots running in the blanket of white, fluffy, snow.
He then said, "There they are! They're almost made it out of the woods!"
Blacky then said, "Well there's nothing we can do now! They are already too far ahead of us and by the time we reach where they are at now, chances are they would have hitched a ride with another pony or something. Face it! You've lost! They have already escaped and if word gets out, we might be all fucked! And who knows, we might end up going to jail if we're caught!"
Sky then said, "I don't want to go to jail...my father would kill me."
TF then said, "No one is going to jail. Now get a grip and let's try to think of something fast. They are over there and we are over here. We need to slow them down somehow."
Snow then said, "I have an idea, although it will be dangerous, especially for us."
TF then said, "Well do it then...and make it quick. We don't have much time before they pass the two mountains."
And so Snow got on the ground and took out his rifle. But instead of aiming the gun at one of us, he is instead looked towards the top of the mountains. The very top too. And then he aimed it very carefully and then pulled the trigger. It sounded stupid what he did, at least at first. But soon me and the others would be feeling the impact of what Snow had caused and what it inflicted upon us all.
As we were running, we were pretty much halfway through the two mountains. It was lengthy in a way, but we felt like we were going to make it. But we also heard the loud noise as well and we were all confused as we ran. But then the idea hit me as to what that was and what TF's group did, as I was sure it was them of course, and what they were trying to do.
I then yelled, "Turn around!"
Rock then said, "Why? We're almost out of this mess!"
I then said, "That shot you just heard is suppose to create an avalanche...and anytime now we're going to be crushed and we will die!"
Fighting then asked me, "But what about those other ponies! They will kill us if we turn around now!"
I then told him, "You either want to have a guarantee you want to die here now?! Or do you want a chance at surviving!?"
And then we all turned around as I assumed they all got the message in their heads. And as soon as we did we started to see some snow falling from the mountain. And from TF's group's point of view, the snow was heavy and falling down fast. Not only that, but the snow was coming down on all sides so with us in the middle, we surely started to see snow on its way down from the ground. And so we ran and we ran as fast as we could. We just needed to get out of there as fast as we could and so we pushed ourselves to our limit so we could try and survive. Eventually we made it out of between the mountain tops, but we were still in deep shit as the snow was about to come on top of us.
So we kept running and as we were running, TF's group just sat there and watched in silence. Waiting to see if we were going to die or live. And so we ran and we ran and eventually time was up. The snow pushed us even further and covered us in snow as we screamed as we did not know what to expect afterwards. And then...it all stopped for us.
The snow stopped and it had covered us. And our only way out...kind of...was blocked by tons and tons of white snow.
As for TF's group, TF then said, "Well then...let's go and find a place to set up camp shall we? We shall find out if they are living or dead by sunrise tomorrow."
Blacky then said, "Find out tomorrow? Look at that! They are covered in what is more than likely feet upon feet of snow and where they will more than likely die at this point! They're dead!"
TF then said, "Oh but don't underestimate them. They might be able to find a way out of that snow in time and live to tell the tale...assuming if they ever live that is."
Blacky then said, "What more proof do you want!? They're dead now! And that is all you wanted us to do on this trip isn't? So just call it a mission accomplished so we can all go home."
TF then said, "If you give me the dead bodies to proof it, then you can go home. Until then, we're not leaving. So like I said, we'll know by tomorrow. So let's go and find a place nearby that is suitable for us to stay at, shall we?"
Blacky then said, "Fine then. Let's get going. I'm tried anyways."
And then TF's group went up and left the area. However, as for us, a few hours later, my hoof came up above the snow. I then was able to climb out and get on top of all the snow. The same for the others as they climbed out too. And amazingly they all survived. As for me I just used my magic to get out of trouble of course. But for the others, they seemed to have been pretty miserable by that point.
Once I got out, I then said to everyone, "So..is everyone alright?"
Rock then looked at me and looked angry and he then said, "Alright? Does everything look alright to you!?"
I then said to him, "Jeez, I was just asking a simple question was all."
Rock then said, "We are out in the middle of fucking nowhere! We are cold! We are trapped in these woods! And we are being fucking hunted! Three of us are already fucking dead! So no...not everything is fucking alright!"
Fighting then said, "Rock...keep your voice down damn it!"
Rock then said, "Fuck no you son of a bitch! Look at us! We're fucked! And they are taking us one by one damn it! We need to do something...now! We need to strike back and kill them before they kill us!"
I then said, "With what? All we have are the two knives. which by the way, where are they?"
Rock then said, "I have it under my wings...now we need to do something while we still can. Maybe we can attack them without them knowing that we're going to attack."
Fighting then said, "Uhh...Rock...while I would love to get revenge and all...I think it's best we just find a way out of this place."
Rock then asked him, "Where?! There is no way out of this fucking hell hole!"
I then told him, "No...there is another way out. That's what Fighting said...right Fighting?"
Fighting then said, "Yes...that's right...I did say there was another way out. But it's a bit of a ways off though...towards the west from here. There's a waterfall you can cross over that's on top of a mountain that'll lead out of these woods. We just to find the river that runs to the west and it'll lead us to the waterfall that we need to cross."
I then said, "See, we just need to head there and we'll be home free."
Rock then said, "Yeah...with those fuckers on our tails. We'll never shake them off and live."
I then said, "Then what do you suggest we do then?"
Rock then said, "I've got an idea..."
A FEW HOURS LATER AT TF'S CAMP...
And so we return to TF's group. Once again...yay...I guess.
Or as Flutterguy would say, "I'm going to rape you"...because you know....that's what the Niggas say with their deep and sexual voices...don't they? Or am I getting the wrong information again from my sources? This time it being from CNN.
The Cunt News Network. Which rivals the CNNN The Central Nigga News Network. Which also rivals the KKK, which stands for Kinect, Konnect, Konnectica. I don't even know anymore. Anyways, let's continue off where TF's group was at. Well with them, they had found a decent spot not too far from the avalanche. It wasn't too close, but not too far either. They had set camp and surprisingly they were able to find a nice dry place for their camp. There was still snow around and it was cold as fuck just like anything else they had experienced, but it was in a dry place though.
And nearby there was a small hill and had a great flat landscape near them where they could see the sun rise from the distance. In order words, the hill was towards the West while the flat landscape was towards the East. Anyways, there wasn't grass though, just a bunch of dirt and rock. So you could get the sense of dark colors and brown when you were in that area. But still, they were able to find a spot and set up camp.
Not that they had a tent or anything, but they found a couple of logs from nearby to rest on and a campfire to keep them warm. And all seven of them were huddling around the campfire, keeping quiet as the sun lowered in the sky. There was also a beautiful orange kind of glow emitting from the sun as well as they were in that away.
Anyways, they all were around the campfire, keeping quiet and not saying a single word to each other. There was a tense feeling in the air, as no one wanted to speak about what happened earlier. Not that they had a problem with it, they just didn't know what to say.
However, eventually Sky spoke up and said, "So uh...if no pony else is going to talk, I'm going to go ahead and talk. Maybe get some smiles going on around here at the very least. You know...at least...do something while we're waiting. So...does anypony here knows what's the difference between a Zebra and a Pony?"
Blacky then said, "Come on Sky, that's enough. No pony here is in the mood talk. Right now we are all just...tired...ok? So just, keep it down for now."
Snow then said, "No no, please, I would like to hear this joke. I could use one considering we had a hard day's work. Especially if it's a joke from a traitor."
Blacky then said, "Wait just a god damn moment here Snow. I don't know why you keep thinking that this kid here is some kind of traitor, but I be dammed to let you keep accusing him of such a thing."
Snow then said to Blacky, "Now let's not be hasty here Blacky. I'm only looking out for the best of us, and right now I believe Sky here is a traitor and wants to kill us all. Not that I'm going to kill him or anything. From what happened last night, I might reconsider my assumptions and not even bother with him at all. But let's not linger on it right now, I would like to hear joke from traitor."
Sky then said as a small smile appeared on his face despite being labeled as a traitor, "Well alright then. Uhh....the difference between a zebra and a pony is that one of them is black with white stripes while the other is multi-colored."
Snow then said, "I don't get it."
Sky then said, "Well...you see...one of them is black while the other is...oh never mind...you wouldn't get the joke anyways. It's more or less of an Equestrian thing."
Mr. Brown then said, "Wait! I get it! Ha ha ha ha ha ah aha! That's so fucking funny!"
Pink then asked her brother, "And what the fuck are you laughing about?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Well I'm laughing at the joke of course you dumb bitch. Clearly you didn't get the punch line."
Pink then said, "What punch line! There was no joke what Sky had said!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Yes there fucking was you dumb broad! No wonder you couldn't get into college and decided to be a gold digger!"
Pink then said, "I didn't drop out of college! I didn't even finish school because we were too poor to send me to school! And even then I still stabbed a few kids because before so I wouldn't even be able to get into school. And besides, you didn't go to school either because you were too retarded for them accept you!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Well then that's why they had that school for the special. Because I'm fucking special!"
Pink then said, "What in the fuck are you even talking about!?"
TF then said, "Enough! Since you two are so talkative and seem to have a lot of energy right now, I suggest you two go check on where we left Knight and the others."
Mr. Brown and Pink both looked at TF and then at each other, than back at TF.
Mr. brown then asked TF, "And why do we have to go check on a couple of dead bodies?"
TF then said, "Because, for all we know, they could have lived and escaped by now. And if they are on the run, we need to go after them, regardless if we're tired or not. They almost escaped once and I am sure in the name of Celestia will not let it happen again."
Mr. Brown then said, "But we trapped them in this forest. How could they escape?!"
Blacky then said, "There is more than one way to get out of this forest you dumbass! I'm not entirely sure what the next exit is, but I'm guessing they would be trying to find one as soon as they can."
TF then said, "Exactly. So Mr. Brown and Pink, it's up to you, the both of you, to go and check. And it's simple too. It's not that far of a walk from here. Just go up that hill over there and keep walking straight until you get to where we were. And leave your equipment here."
Pink then asked TF, "And what are we supposed to do exactly if we get attacked?"
TF then said, "Simple. Just run back here and we'll handle the rest. And if they're stupid enough you can lead them back to our camp and we'll end it right here, once and for all. And if you don't see anything where we were before, than just come back here and you two can go to sleep. And if you see holes in the snow, then hurry your asses back here so we can move out."
Mr. Brown then asked TF, "But why us? Why not have all of us go? Hell, why not let us use our equipment?"
TF then said, "Because, besides from Sky here, you two are...how do I say it without being rude? You two are idiots and annoying. Granted still valuable to the group since you know how to at least kill compared to Sky, but the best way to describe you two...well, let's just say I'm using you as bait. If they kill the both of you, fine. If you come back, that's just as fine. And besides, right now, no pony else really cares to go and you two are the most likely candidates to go out and search for anypony else that may still be alive. In other words Mr. Brown and Pink...no one gives a fuck about you two. Now off you go."
And then Mr. Brown and Pink gave a weird look towards TF and got up from their resting spots. Then they were on their way as they climbed the small hill and went towards west in a single direction towards where the avalanche happened. As they were walking towards the area where we were buried, they were both talking.
Mr. Brown was then saying, "Those fucking assholes, leading us to our deaths. They're the fucking idiots."
Pink then said, "Oh come on, they have a point. You are the idiot that would get us all killed. I say if you weren't my brother, I would be dragged along with you."
Mr. Brown then said, "What the fuck are you talking there sis? You're as retarded as I am! In fact, you're ten times more retarded then I am. Clearly I am the most superior one here."
Pink then said, "Oh yeah, then how come I was the leader of our little gang back when we were robbing banks while you were the last one in our group to do anything?"
Mr. Brown then said, "That's because you never made me leader of the bank robbing group."
Pink then said, "It's because you did that one time, but you ended up almost getting us killed when you failed to even steal money from a kid that one time. I mean we were in the middle of a desert and there was a kid was some money and you couldn't steal the money from that kid. Even I could in five seconds."
Mr. Brown then said, "Well look at the bitch that's talking. At least I wasn't the one that fucked a squirrel!"
Pink then said, "What squirrel!? There was no squirrel, you was eating mushrooms that one time and you thought you saw me fuck a squirrel! I'm serious, I have no idea why Ma even had you. She should have just gotten that abortion when she had that chance."
Mr. Brown then said, "And Pa should have fucking raped you in the ass while you were a fetus you stuck up bitch!"
Pink then said, "Oh ha ha...real original there brother. If I didn't know, I think you're trying to be smart for once, but every time you try, you end up fucking it up just like you do to everything that you ever do in your life. I mean, you're a real fuck up you know. A real mistake that should have been put down when you was just a sperm. I mean Pa should have just jacked off that one time instead of fucking Ma that one time. You would have been better off in the toilet instead in Ma's vagina you know."
Mr. Brown then said, "Shut up."
Pink then said, "Oh, you can't handle a little insult from your little sis? I really mean it. You really are one sad sack of an excuse for a stallion. You can't even fight a girl and that's sad. I can kick your fucking ass and that's sad. I would have at least a little respect for you if you could at least fight a mare, but you can't, because you're such a fucking wuss son of a bitch and you know it too."
Mr. Brown then said, "I swear sis, if you don't shut up right now I'll strangle you out here and feed you to the timber wolves."
Pink then said to her brother, "You don't have the balls big brother. You don't even have two balls either. Because one of your nuts got busted from that one time when you tried to fuck a dog up the ass."
Mr. Brown then said, "Well it wasn't my fault! That dog was coming on to me!"
Pink then said, "It got on top of you because it wanted to lick your face. Now come on, we're almost there to the site. The sooner we take a look around, the sooner we can get back to camp and I can get some shut eye."
Mr. Brown then said, "Fine, but one more word about you telling me how worthless I am and I'll snap your neck you bitch." Pink then said, "Whatever you fucking asshole."
And then they soon got quiet and walked a little bit further into the woods until they reached where they once were. When they got to the spot with all the snow and shit, they were on that little cliff again from where they saw the snow coming off the mountain. Well, they got to the edge of the cliff and they're eyes got wide as soon as they saw what they saw.
They saw four holes in the snow and Mr. Brown then said, "Fucking shit! They're still alive!" Pink then started to look around her surroundings."
Mr. Brown then continued to say, "Now what are we going to tell them now? I mean we have to get walking again and I don't want to do that. I mean fucking shit...and besides that is a fuck ton of snow right there. How the fuck are they even fucking alive and..."
Pink then said as she was looking at something in the sky and she said to her brother, "Will you just shut up for a moment and take a look at this?"
Mr. Brown then went over to Pink's position and was confused.
He then asked her sis, "What are you looking at?"
Pink then said, "Just look up there you idiot."
And so Mr. Brown then looked up to the sky and found black smoke coming from the nearby woods. The smoke looked like it was coming from a camp fire of some sort and as it was rising into the air and getting as high as the clouds were, Pink and Mr. Brown were a bit shocked as to what they were seeing.
Pink then asked her brother, "Do you know what this means?"
Mr. Brown then said, "That we have to tell[ the other guys that we have to get a move on?"
Pink then said, "No you fucking idiot. Don't you see what this means. We can go and capture the rest of them ourselves and bring them back to the group. Then that way the others wouldn't see us as idiots any more you know?"
Mr. Brown then said, "I know...but we don't have any guns to take em' down though."
Pink then said, "Come on, they are as weak as Sky is. They wouldn't be able to fight back especially after surviving an avalanche like that. more than likely they're trying to get warmed up or some shit like that. They'll be easy to take back with us. Now let's get going."
Mr. Brown then said, "Fine then...but if we get killed, I'm blaming you."
Pink then said, "Fine by me. I mean as long as you're not living after I do, I'm fine with that."
Mr. Brown then said, "Oh go fuck yourself."
Pink then responded with, "Oh how original there big brother."
Mr. Brown then said, "Shut up."
And then they didn't say a single word after that. They just kept quiet as they walked through the woods and walked towards our little camp fire. And they walked and walked and found nothing interesting as they walked by considering I usually get all the good stuff. You know, the polar bears and black bears. Hell, I get all that black pussy...cats whenever I walk through the woods. Well, they walked and they walked, but it wasn't too far, and certainly not too long before those two reached our camp site.
When they did, they didn't see anyone there at all. In fact, all they saw was the area the camp was in. Our camp was in a small circle, surrounded by tall trees and it as the sun was gone by this point, so all around the campsite was nothing but darkness, for the most part. You still had Luna's moon helping a little bit, but outside of that, it was just a small circle covered in snow and surrounded by tall dark trees late at night.
There was like a log or two and just a simple campfire. But outside of that, no pony was there. Pink thought that both of them were going to remain silent, just in case if we were just to be happening to be hiding.
But Mr. Brown then suddenly said, "Hello!? Is anypony here!? Get your fucking asses out here so we can kill ya! We promise we won't hurt you!"
Pink then said, "Oh shut the fuck up. You're even bad at trying to lure prey out of their hiding. And besides, I don't feel right being here. I think we should head back before anything bad happens."
Mr. Brown then said, "Anything bad happens?! Come on what's going to happen now!? There's nopony around here and there certainly won't be anypony else there out in those dark fucking woods. There's nothing to worry about!" It's just a little creepy is all. What? Can't handle a little creepy campsite? Are you too scared you fucking pussy ass bitch?"
Pink then said, "Well it definitely isn't natural to see a random campfire out here in the middle of nowhere, is it? And besides, I'm looking around here and I'm noticing these tall trees have branches stretching out into the center of that campfire. In fact I think I see something on one of those branches."
Mr. Brown then said, "Oh come on now, you're just seeing things. The dark is just playing tricks on your mare mind. Just let a stallion handle this. Now just watch me as I go near the campfire and you will see there is nothing to be afraid of."
And so Mr. Brown went towards the campfire and all that happened was he felt the warmth of the fire as it hit his body. It was sort of a pleasant feeling for him, but outside of that, all he did was turn around and look towards his sister.
He then said with a smile filled with confidence, "See! There's nothing wrong here at all!"
As he said his last word, he stumped on to his back right hoof and once that happened, a trap was activated. He back leg was captured in what seemed to be like rope and was suspended in the air as he was over the fire. Not too high over it, but not too low either to where he would be caught on fire. He was at that right position where he was being suspended over the fire where the fire wouldn't hurt him too much. Well, Pink saw this and she started to laugh while Mr. Brown was screaming at the top of his lungs.
He was really fucking scared and you could see it in his eyes too.
He then said, "Ahhh! Get me down from here sis! Get me the fuck down from here!"
Pink just continued to laugh her ass off as she was even on the ground laughing.
Mr. Brown then said, "This isn't fucking funny sis! Now get me down from here! I don't want to die!"
Pink then said, "Oh give me a break there brother. You should see the look on your face! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa! What did you say earlier? That I was a wuss? That you were a stallion that wasn't scared of anything! Haha ha ha aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You're so fucked right now!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Stop laughing and just get me down from here already damn it! Just please get me down from here!"
And then after Mr. Brown said that, we emerged from the darkness. Me, Rock, Fighting, and Spirit came out from the dark woods and into the light to see what was happening.
We circled the campfire and saw who we captured, but then we looked at Pink and which case Rock was ready to go after her until she said, "Don't mind me fellas. I'm not going to put up a fight with you four. In fact, you can have that son of a bitch right there and I won't even bother coming back for you either."
Rock then said, "You don't want to save your friend right there?"
Pink then said, "Oh fuck no! That son of a bitch is a pain in my fucking ass and you would be doing me a favor for getting rid of him for me. You don't have to kill him, do whatever you want with him. I don't care. I'm going back now, but all I have to say is that is fucking hilarious right there. Oh the fucking irony. Aha ha ha ha ah ha!"
And Pink walked away into the darkness and didn't look back as she walked back to camp. It was a bit odd what had happened, but you know, it is what happened.
Fighting then asked, "So...now what do we do?"
Rock then responded with, "We have a chance now, we have one of them in our hooves...so that means it's payback time."
Mr. Brown then said, "Look, I didn't do anything! It's her who you want! Not me!"
Rock then got close to Me. Brown and punched him in the stomach as I should mention Mr. Brown was hanging upside down, over the fire.
As Rock punched Mr. Brown, as he was using his wings to fly up near to him, he said to him, "Shut the fuck up you son of a bitch! You have no idea what we're going to do to you after what you have done to us! You just messed with the wrong fucking ponies...you hear me son of a bitch!"
Mr. Brown then said, "Oh please don't hurt me1 L-Look...I'm sorry if I did anything wrong to you guys...it's just that..."
Rock the interrupted him and said to him, "If one more words out from you, I promise you're going to fucking suffer damn it...NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
I then asked Rock, "So...uh...just so we're clear here...how did you set up this trap again? I mean...we didn't have any rope anything like that?"
Rock then said, "We didn't. I just found something in the woods and improvised. Trust me, I know a little something about making traps in the woods with very little resources. Before I worked for Fighting, I was taught by a few other ponies as a kid. It wasn't much, just like you Knight, but it sure came in handy today, that's for sure."
Fighting then asked Rock, "So...what are we going to do to him exactly?"
Rock then said with a stern look at fighting and said to him, "We're going to kill him...that's what."
Fighting then said, "Isn't this a bit much? I mean I know they need to pay for what they have done but...couldn't we at least try to just keep him captured until we find somepony else where we could try...and you know...maybe put them under arrest or something like that?"
Rock then said, "We have nopony out here Fighting. It is just the four of us out here and nopony else is coming out to help us. We are on our own right now and so that means we have to take care of ourselves. We have to survive damn it! And to do so, we have to do what we have to do. In which case that means we have to kill this son of a bitch. This animal here that killed all those ponies back at that camp. This piece of pony garbage that killed Fizzy. This scum of the earth that killed Axe. This sack of sad shit that killed G. We need to kill this son of a bitch before it's too late. We need to kill them all if we can. You've got that?"
I then said, "Well I'm not up for it but uhh...what the hell, I've seen worst."
Fighting then looked at me and said to me, "Knight...I thought you had some compassion in you left?"
I then told him, "Well Rock has a point. I've been in a situation where I had to do some stuff that I wasn't too particularly proud of. Besides, I've killed ponies before...granted though it wasn't easy, nor was it that great, but you know...you just have to do what you've got to do. Besides, what is the worst that can happen?"
Rock then said, "Exactly. Knight here gets the idea. Now...does anypony here wants to get the knife or should I do it?"
Fighting then asked Rock as Spirit just sat like a bump on a log...on a log, "What are you're going to do to him?"
Rock then said, "I'm going to cut his fucking head off."
Mr. Brown then heard what Rock had to say what he was going to do to him and he yelled out, "Oh god please no!"
Rock then said as he punched Mr. Brown again, "I said shut the fuck up!"
Fighting then asked, "Isn't that bit too cruel? Especially since those knives aren't really meant to cut off a head of a pony?"
Rock then said, "I know...that's why it's going to be very painful for him. He'll suffer like how the others suffered. An eye for a fucking eye I say. Now...anypony that doesn't' want to watch, look away now before things start to get messy. Otherwise, just sit down and shut the fuck up."
I then said, "Oh...ok."
Fighting then said, "Aren't you're going to protest this Knight? I mean he's going to..."
I then told him, "Yeah...I know. But at this point, I would prefer not to piss Rock off here. And besides, I'm not the one that's getting my hooves dirty. Rock is, and besides, I'm not really in the mood to argue. I would prefer to conserve my energy so we can make a break for it tomorrow morning and get the hell out of here."
Rock then said, "Good, at least you're on my side. As for you fighting, just sit down and shut up."
And so I stood up while Fighting and Spirit sat down on the log and watched Rock do his magic. Rock went by one of the logs and picked up one of the knives that he hid with his mouth. He made sure the blade was out in the open and went towards Mr. Brown's neck.
Mr. Brown of course was scared shitless and was not quite ready for his death to come to him. Rock of course was hovering above the ground, looking straight into Mr. Brown's eyes.
Rock then said the best he could as he had the knife in his mouth, "Any last words?"
Mr. Brown then said, "Yeah...I know this is going to be ironic...ha...but uhhh...I kind of hope there is a god now."
Rock then aimed for the neck in the front and slowly started to cut. Mr. Brown's neck slowly started to bleed out as blood started to gush out over as it hit the fire and burned. Mr. Brown of course was screaming as much as he could, but soon his voice slowly started to disappear as he neck was but severed. Rock then started to cut a little harder and harder with every stroke he made. He soon started to get to some veins and so he pushed really hard to cut through it.
Soon he hit bone as blood was everywhere, especially all over his face. By this point though Mr. Brown was dead and had suffered several long minutes of pure pain and agony. However Rock wasn't done as he continued to cut through his spinal cord and such. And soon before you know it, Rock had the head of Mr. Brown hit the fire, which added fuel to the flames to keep it going just a little longer too, as a headless corpse of a pony that was once alive hanged over the campfire that we had made.
Blood was still coming out of course, and lots of it, but no one really cared at this point. Mr. Brown was dead and had his head cut off slowly by a pocket knife as he slowly suffered, and Rock was just standing there with his face covered in blood as he dropped the knife to the floor. He just stood there all salient and shit. And none of us said a word.
But then I said, "So uhhh...does anyone here want to hear a joke?"
Rock then said, "Is it the joke about the clown?"
I then said, "Uhh...what?"
Rock then said as he continued to stand up, "I've got a joke for you. It's about the clown that laughed. There was a clown that loved to fucking laugh all day. He loved to laugh so much that he would go out of his way to do anything to make him laugh, even if it meant hurting others. But then one day he stopped laughing. He didn't know what was wrong. He tried to do the things that made him laugh, but yet he couldn't find anything to make him laugh anymore. The things that made him laugh wasn't doing it for him anymore. So he started to get depressed.
'He went to the doctor to get anti-depressants, but all the doctor did was laugh at his face as the doctor found it ironic that a clown couldn't laugh. Where ever he went, others started to laugh at his face and soon he started to get addicted to pain killers to make the laughs go away in his head. Then one day, one day he got an idea. He figured out what could make him laugh again and make all the bad ponies go away. So he went into his kitchen and grabbed a big knife out. Then he slowly cut himself open and started to rip out his intestines. He found it funny because it looked like streamers to him, but yet it was his own organs.
'He found it funny because his organs looked like balloons and streamers to him. He found it funny because he was alone and soon he laughed again. But as he laughed, blood came out of his mouth and he kept pulling out his intestines Next day investigators were there at his house to find his body completely emptied of his organs while the clown had a big smile on his face. And to the ponies that were looking at him., they were laughing too. It's all a big joke to them. ha...ha...ha..."
I then said, "So...what was the punch line again?"
Fighting then said, "Wow...that's depressing it makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a fork."
Rock then said, "That's life for you...it's just one big fucking joke as a clown laughs at you as it pukes up its intestines and the clown keeps laughing at you and your face. It's so fucking funny."
I then said, "So...why don't you sit down Rock and we can all you know...talk and stuff. Because you know...we could all calm down and just talk and stuff. And get the fact that Rock here just took off a head of a pony with a pocket knife."
Rock then said, "Fine."
And then Rock too his seat on a log, a log all to himself. As for me, I sat down by Fighting along with Spirit on the other log. And then we talked for a bit.
I then said, "So uhh...what does anyone wants to talk about?"
Fighting then said, "Well...you didn't mention that you saw some stuff worst than this? What was it?"
I then said, "Oh uhh...well...let's just say I've seen some fucked up shit before. But to be honest it's not much to really talk about...at least right now."
And then we all stayed silent. I then said, "Wow...no one here wants to talk at all huh?"
Rock then said, "No...no pony here wants to. I'm not in the fucking mood and Spirit there is just sitting there as usual. And Fighting is just too much of a fucking pussy to do anything what he needs to do."
Fighting then got a little angry and then said to Rock, "What are you talking about Rock? Of course I can do what I need to do. I mean I ran that business that you were a part of. I mean I know how to fight and I know how to get tough when I need to get tough."
Rock then said, "No you don't. You're an incompetent fool that is too old for this world. Face it Fighting, you're nothing but a waste of time and filth. I don't even know why you're even alive after what happened. Not only that but you are nothing but a scared out stallion that doesn't know how to stand up for himself."
Fighting then said, "That's not true!"
Rock then said, "It is true...and deep down you know it's true too. Now...to iterate again...no pony here wants to talk a single fucking word. No pony here wants to hear any god damn jokes either. So everypony here just shut the fuck up and get some sleep. We'll be leaving before dawn breaks."
I then said, "Well that uhh....sounds a little too much for me. And really, we can't all talk to each? No one here wants to discuss their personal back stories so we can all relate to each other and may or may not give a fuck about each other of one of us happens to die? No one wants to be a relatable pony here and have some sort of sad and caring back story and try and attempt to make others care?"
Rock then gave a stern look and then I said, "Alright then...I guess we can all get some shut eye...I guess. Good night!"
And then I got on the ground and fell asleep. And so did the others. But Rock stayed up just a little bit to think inside his mind. There wasn't much to really note other than all he did was stare at the dead body and thought about what he had said. He also thought about what he was going to do when it was time to wake up. Then Rock went to sleep.
I know there sounds like a little bit more detail would be there, but to be honest that's all that happened. Spirit usually didn't talk. Fighting was starting to slowly go quiet. Rock wasn't in the mood to talk. And I...was lost with the group and all honesty. Once we were all together, and now we were falling apart.
Anything that I had to say was lost in communication you could say. If anything, by this point, I was just an observer in a bad situation. In other words, I was just trying to stay alive like the others, but didn't want to over step my boundaries. Anyways, that was it for us.
BACK AT TF'S GROUP...
And so we return to TF's group once more. I know it sounds like they had more stuff going on. But in all actuality, not really this time around. if anything they just had an equal amount of stuff happen to them compared to us. Anyways, they were all waiting for the two to come back and soon from the darkness emerged Pink. However they were all confused as to why only one of them came back.
TF then asked, "I see you're alive. But where's your brother?"
Pink then said, "Oh you wouldn't believe what happened. So we were at that place where we left those ponies and they escaped."
TF then said, "Escaped!?"
Pink then said, "Oh don't worry, we found a smoke trail leading back to their camp. Turns out they left a little trap for us and my brother was a dumb enough idiot to get him caught in that trap now and he's more than likely dead by now."
TF then said, "I see. And you just...left him there."
Pink then said, "Sure did, that son of a bitch deserved it too. Anyways, I don't know about any of you, but I'm wanting to hit the hay. Well good night boys, I'll see all of you in the morning."
Snow then asked Pink, "But what about the others? Shouldn't we be after them right now before they escape"
TF then said, "No...no we shouldn't."
Blacky then asked TF, "Why not? I thought you said we would go after them regardless if we're tired?"
TF then said, "I did, but considering that they set up a little campfire and a trap, more than likely they're not going anywhere tonight. As long as we get up early enough, we'll be fine tomorrow to hunt them down again. There was only four of them left, correct?"
Blacky then said, "Last time I checked...yeah. We killed one. Then Snow killed another. Star there finished off the last one. So we only have four left."
TF then said, "Then tomorrow should be the last day for the trip for us all."
Sky then said, "Really? Tomorrow will be it?"
TF then responded with, "More than likely, Yes...yes it will be. And after tomorrow is over Sky, you can go back home and show how tough you are to your marefriend."
Sky then said, "But...but I didn't do much at all."
TF then said, "Nonsense Sky. You did some stuff that not everypony else in this world would do. For starters you stayed by us instead of leaving. You even killed that bear as well. You even saw some harsh stuff. Now to be honest you're not that tough, but you have the potential at the very least. And I'm sure as you and Blacky stay as friends in the future, you'll come along just fine for your marefriend. Tomorrow will be our last day everypony...so enjoy it while it lasts. So...goodnight everypony...and sleep tight."
And then...everypony in TF's group went to sleep.
THE NEXT DAY....
It was right before dawn. Right before when the sun broke through the sky to show its bright and shinning light. However, it was during that time where you could sort of see some light.
Sort of between the time of night and the break of dawn. Somewhere around four thirty to five thirty in the morning you could say it was. And some of the animals were up as some birds were chirping and such. And aside for some birds chirping, it was somewhat completely silent, with the exception of the birds of course. And as for the camp itself, the fire died out, so it was cold as fuck as you could imagine. And for all four of us, we were all sleeping. Well, most of that is. For fighting and his son, they were sleeping by the log.
As for me, I was on the dirt floor, on my back, with my eyes closed and still in a deep sleeping state. I don't recall what I dreamed about that night, but then again from what I hear, if you don't remember your dreams, apparently you had a good night's rest. But then again this is a different universe where an alicorn can walk into your dreams. Although sometimes I question even if that is real. But aside from that, you get the idea.
I was sleeping somewhat peacefully. But of course, like I said, not all of us was sleeping. Rock was up and he slightly kicked me. I didn't feel anything at first as like I said, I was in a deep sleep.
But then Rock kicked me again, but this time saying to me, "Pssh...get up Knight. Get."
Then Rock kicked me one final time to where he then said to me, "Get up Knight, we need to get going before the sun has a chance to rise."
As he kicked me for the final time, I slowly opened my eyes. And as I opened them, all I saw was the grey-bluish sky above me.
But I still felt tired and felt like just closing my eyes to go back to sleep. Like those times I remember from Earth that I vaguely remember always being waking up to go to school, but then just wanting to go back to bed but then getting constantly yelled at to get up.
But, you know, that was a long time ago for me and I don't even think I remember exactly what happened for me back before I even discovered that portal to the outside of the universe. Anyways, I knew I had to get up though since I was being chased and shit like that, so I forced myself to get up and as I did, I rubbed my eyes with one of my hooves to get my eyes open.
And as I slowly got up from the dirt ground, I looked over to see that Fighting and Spirit were still sleeping by the logs. As for Rock, he was looking at what once was the fire for our little camp.
The fire was still gone of course, but yet he was looking deeply into it as if the fire was still there. Then I saw Rock pick up one of the pocket knives and put in under his wing. As for the second pocket knife, he just left it there.
Then he turned around and looked over towards me and said to me, "Well...what are you waiting for, get the others up. We need to get moving."
I then said, "Well don't you think we can just slow down for a bit. I mean, I know we're being chased and all, but that mountain isn't too far. And I'm sure TF and the others aren't up at this point. I think we can take our time a little slowly."
Rock then said, "For a guy who said who knew the basics of survival, you're one fucking idiot you know."
I then said, "I know. Sometimes I forget you know. Sometimes I just like to take things a little easy and stuff...you know. That and I do smoke weed sometimes so...sometimes my brain isn't that great. Ad you know, technically I'm still young and stupid."
Rock then told me, "Well this isn't something exactly to be taking easily. They already know where we are at and if we aren't fast enough, they'll catch up to you guys and all of this shit would have been for nothing."
I then asked Rock, "Well they'll catch up to you too you know."
Rock then said, "I'm not going with you guys."
I then said, "Wait...what? You're not coming? Why not?"
Rock then said, "I had some time to think last night. I had some time to think about it all and all we've been through. And even though it hasn't been much, nor it hasn't been much time we spent trying to get to know each other, it feels like it's been enough that I still feel something deep down inside. In other words Knight, I'm sorry the way that I acted the way that I have in the past. But you know, I'm just not really meant for the world of ponies and harmony. I was brought up in a bad crowd as a kid. And as a kid it starts to weigh on you as an adult. And so as the years go by, I just learned to stop caring and just continue to move on with life and only worrying about me.
'The only other one that I slightly cared for though was Fighting since he got me a job when I couldn't even find a job for myself. But aside from that though, my life really hasn't lead to much to be honest. And if I'm going to die one day, then it should be here. It should be here where I can put up a fight at least. I mean I might not be the best at fighting or killing for that matter, I just know when to not take shit from others. But I do know a little about using knives though. And I figured if I'm going down today, I'm at least going to take one of those fuckers with me. And considering all they have done is kill us and kill us, I'll at least get the second and make it easier for you guys And it'll also buy you guys sometime as well. I also left the second pocket knife for you and Fighting as well, so just in case, you have something at least to defend yourselves."
I then said, "So basically what you're saying is that even though we haven't known each other for that long, somewhere in your heart you feel like we've bonded enough for you to give a crap about me?"
Rock then said, "Kind of. But I'm not going to keep you here with us talking. You need to get moving and I need to get walking towards their camp if I want to take one of them down. If I'm correct, they might be still asleep and so I can take one of them down easily."
I then asked Rock, "How do you know where the camp is though?"
Rock then told me, "I really don't know, but if I had to guess, it's not far from here since we had some visitors last night. That and, there are some tracks that were left behind that might help me bit. I'm thinking about taking that bitch that was here last night, considering she knew the way to get to our camp. Figured if they don't have her, they might have a little trouble finding where we were last night."
I then said, "Well...if this is what you want...then...goodbye...I guess. I barely knew ye"
Rock then said, "Yeah...me too. One more thing though, before I go. Fizzy said that he didn't mean much in god's eyes and he felt like he was only made to be killed off in the end. Do you think, that goes for me too?"
I then said, "What? You mean god just for some reason created you only to be axed off or something?"
Rock then said, "Yeah. Do you think...that...my life actually meant something and my time here wasn't wasted at all?"
I then said, "Well I mean if you asking the question about god and why you're here, you're getting a little deep aren't you...especially like a time like this? I mean if we were going to have that conversation, we should do it when we're high. But I suppose to answer your question...that depends really. I mean I felt like it meant something for you being here, although for Fizzy I barely remembered him. But with you, I kind of felt like you had something going on. But I suppose that's up to you isn't it?"
Rock then asked me, "Do you feel like your time here meant something?"
I then said, "Yeah, although to be honest it just felt like I was just here and was just along for the ride and all. Well...I suppose you're off then?"
Rock then said, "Yeah...yeah it is. I'll see you again one day, assuming if we ever do see each other again."
I then said to him, "Yeah...maybe we will. Maybe we will. Or maybe in the next few days I'll end up forgetting you instead. But we'll see."
Rock then said, "Well whatever happens, one thing is for sure. This is surely going down in history no matter what. Maybe not in the history books, but in history nonetheless. Goodbye, I hope you guys make it."
And then Rock finally walked away from me and was on his way towards TF's camp. And as for me, I just stood there quietly as he walked away as far as he could before I stopped seeing him in the thick woods filled with trees and various types of plant life. And once he was gone, I walked over to Fighting and slowly shook him up, which in turn also woke Spirit up as well. When they woke up and Fighting yarned, he got up along with Spirit, but was confused as to where was Rock at.
I then simply told them, "Yeah, he said he needed to go do something and he more than likely will not be back. That's all I have to say. But huh...he left us one of the knives if you want to take it?"
And so they didn't say anything and we were on our way. However, as for me, I took the knife into my satchel that I sometimes forget that I have. Seriously I don't know why I forget, I guess I just have other things on the mind is all. Well anyways, aside from that, we were well on our way towards that mountain and we were walking.
I know we should have been running, but we weren't on the run, we were walking and it would have been better to preserve our energy anyways instead of using it to run, because you know, we might have had to run away from TF's group if they had found us. But then again, I wasn't exactly an expert in physics was I? Granted though I did know a little something about technology, just not...physics. Well anyways, as we were well on our way towards getting out of this forest, there was still Rock.
As for him, he was well on his way towards TF's group as well. He was walking by himself, all alone, while holding that knife. For me, it felt like a crow should have been holding that knife and ...taking him hostage while mugging him. But, really I'm just imagining stuff there Anyways, he was walking by himself and keeping his thought inside his mind.
He thought about his past which compared to the rest of the world that he was only a small fraction of sad stories. So even if it was tragic for him to grow up as a kid, it wasn't special in ways. He was just another sad soul roaming the earth among the living is all. And his sad story, that you may or may not give a crap about, he still felt like he could do at least something instead of just dying off life Fizzy or Axe did.
No, instead he felt like he could at least contribute something while still feel like he mattered in life. But in truth he didn't. As or Rock walking, he kept wing, got a little lost for a bit, but found a trail of hoof prints that was made by Pink from earlier that was still there. Granted though, it was starting to be covered up as time went on, but still. Anyways, he was walking and walking and the sun was just about to get to that point where it was morning, but eventually he got to TF's group was on that little hill towards the west.
And as he was on the hill, he could see the sun slowly rising towards the East. He could see over the horizon line as the land stretched as far as it could before there was more trees somewhere in the beyond. And as for Rock, he spotted Pink who was sleeping on the ground on her stomach. They were all still sleeping, even for TF, who felt like that kind of person who wouldn't sleep, but instead stare at you while you're sleeping and thinking about killing you while you're sleeping.
Anyways, he then slowly made his way down the hill as quietly as he could. As his hooves was making some noises on the dirt ground as there was some gravel as well, it wasn't much noise being made. And since most of them was in a deep state of sleep, they wouldn't be bothered by the noise too much either. And so Rock made his way towards Pink, who also happened to be the closest within the camp area.
And as Rock was getting close, he got the knife out from under his wing and put it in his mouth. Although I should possibly bring this up, since this might confuse you...some of you...Grammar Nazis... Cow Tippers sons of bitches, that ponies here and their hooves was a bit weird.
Sometimes they can grab stuff with it and sometimes they couldn't. Even still to this day it's a bit hard for my mind to wrap around how it works since all I do ever do is use my magic. But for those that didn't have the magic, it was a bit odd.
Just thought I should point that out...I guess. Anyways, there Rock was, looming over Pink's sleeping body. And with the knife in his mouth with the end with the blade pointing towards Pink's back, Rock was ready for the final kill. And so he did it quickly. He jumped on to Pink's back and stabbed her several times in the back. Of course Pink didn't sleep easily through this. Of course the pain jolted her awake and therefore she screamed as high as she could, which then made everyone else wake up to the sound of bloody murder happening in front of their eyes.
Rock tried to stab Pink in the back as many times as he could and he kept stabbing her as many times. It got to the point where it didn't matter because she would be dead in a matter of minutes. But the odd thing was, there was no sound when the knife went in and out of Pink. Instead it was just a silent noise as it happened. And it went in easily too. It was as if her skin was hot butter. But anyways, her organs were all fucked up and blood was coming out as much as it could, even through pink's mouth. As for the others, they got up as quick as they could.
But it was Snow that gathered up his strength first and jumped towards Rock and pushed him aside and kept him pinned down. But while Snow had Rock pinned down, he gave him a few punches to the face as hard as Snow could. It didn't take many punches though before Rock's face was all fucked up and his face starting to swell as blood dripped down his nose and came out of his mouth.
Soon, Rock was beaten to a bloody pulp. As for the others, they went to check on Pink, but she was near death at this point and was just a few minutes away from death taking her away. For her she couldn't breathe. All she can do was make a slight noise from her mouth that sounded like a whimper, but not really though.
It's hard to explain, but let's just say she was struggling to be kept alive. But soon, she stopped breathing altogether and finally died as her eyes were left open. And her soul escaped her body and she was gone from the world of the living. The others saw this while Snow was busy dealing with Rock. TF was a bit upset the most though.
Despite him not really caring about those two, he was still upset that Rock was able to get a jump on them and kill one of their own just easily like that. Now, TF's group was down two. Which meant that there were only five left while my group only was down to three, which was counting me of course. However, TF was still a bit up set so he furiously walked over to Snow and pushed him aside.
And as Rock was on the ground, with his face covered in blood and all fucked up and shit, he looked towards TF and smiled and laughed a little. He laughed and laughed and TF was confused, but still at the same time upset.
So TF asked Rock, "What's so god damn funny to you?"
Rock then responded with, "You thought you could kill us all without any consequences. You thought we were fucking weak and you could kill us so easily. Well the tables have fucking turned because I've got two of yours now. And if I can just get one more, we'll be even."
TF then said, "I'm afraid to ruin your parade, but we'll going to kill you now. But first, tell us and I promise your death will be a quick one at that, where are the others going? You must have done this to buy them some time...didn't you?"
Rock then said, "You got that right you son of a bitch. But I ain't telling you SHIT. You can go to HELL and BURN you sack of pony garbage."
TF then looked towards Blacky in which case Blacky responded with, "Don't look at me. I have no idea where they're going."
TF then looked back towards Rock and then said to him, "Well...do what you will. But we will find your little group one way or another and they cannot run away from us so easily."
Rock then said, "Oh yeah...and how do you expect to find them though? You can't...can you?"
TF then said, "No...no we can't. At least...not so easily. Let' see, those two that you killed headed out west. So they're not certainly not going towards east. And I do know a little bit about this land here and anything up north to escape these woods would be that mountain that we trapped you in. And they certainly wouldn't be running backwards would they? Back to those cannibals from before? The best guess here is that they would more than likely be heading towards that mountain over there."
TF then pointed his hoof towards a mountain that was a bit of a ways off that poked its head out of the tall trees and could be seen from where they were standing. And where TF pointed to, everyone else looked and it was one tall mountain that had two slopes going from east to west with one big waterfall that fell down to a river, or stream or something like that.
And so TF looked down and looked at Rock's face and Rock then simply said, "And how would you know they would be going there??"
TF then said with a smirk on his face, "Because...I know that's the next exit out of this hell hole. And you know that too don't you?"
Rock's face then went back to being worried, but yet he was a bit confused.
He then asked TF, "You...knew?"
TF then said, "There's a lot of things that I don't tell, not even to this group. In others words, I yes...I knew about all the exits to these woods. I was just hoping that this would all last a little longer is all. Well...we better get going. Leave this pony here. Let the timber wolves get to him first."
And then everyone else followed TF's lead and started to run towards where we were going.
But Sky was the last one to gather all of his stuff and leave and right before he left, he looked down at Rock and said to him quietly, "I'm..sorry this all happened. Please forgive us."
And then he went towards the rest of the group and so they tried to play catch up towards us. As for me and my group. Well...eventually we made it. Well not exactly. we were still a bit of a ways off, but we were very close. Why I say that?
Well it's because we finally hit the stream of water. Well it was more or less a river, but a small river of sorts that was running down west that eventually met up with another stream of water that connected to that mountain where we were going. We eventually made it to that area and once we did, it all looked very nice and such. It was peaceful, some birds were out and about chirping.
The blanket of snow that was around us looked nice and relaxing. We didn't say a word to each other, but we both had smiles on our faces except for Spirit. He still looked a little down like always. But we were a step closer to getting out of the forest. And so we took the whole scenery in and just sat down on our asses for a bit to just calm down and do what G would have done and chill for a moment. And so we all looked around and just thought about it all.
Of course the next move was to head down where the water was flowing, towards the west. The water of course was running very fast and we would have needed to cross it. But I'm sure we would have been able to do it without trouble. I mean to jump the stream, it looked like it wouldn't take very much effort as Pinkie would say, a hop, skip, and a jump. I think that's what she would say. I don't know. Anyways, not only that, but down towards west, both side of the river was somewhat covered with trees. There was still a narrow pass to walk on of course, but further downstream, it had looked like there was a big open space with some trees and rocks and stuff before we reached the slope that went up the mountain.
And so that's the best way to describe the area that we were in. And as we were relaxing, it all seemed everything was going to be alright. Until we heard a gunshot come from Snow's rifle that barely missed us. We quickly looked behind us and there they were, right behind us. There was only Blacky and Snow though as the rest were somewhat falling behind. And so, we knew that was our queue to get the fuck out of there and run.
And so we hustled and ran as fast as we could. We ran and we ran as Snow and Blacky chased after us.
We pushed ourselves and as we ran on the left side of the stream, as they were doing so as well, I said, "Don't stop! We need to keep moving! We're almost there!"
Fighting then said, "I know damn it! I know! Don't give hope yet!"
And so we kept running and pushing ourselves to the max. It was a bit tough of course, but we needed to do so for the sake of our survival. And so we moved as fast we could and kept running. It eventually got to the point where Snow and Blacky eventually started to slow down. And as I looked behind myself, they started to slow down even more and more to the point where it looked like they were tired out by themselves.
And eventually we kept running without giving them the chance of catching up and soon, we didn't see them anymore. They were gone and were far behind us and for the most part, we escaped them for what seemed like for good. And as we kept running because we wanted to make sure they were way behind us to the point where they couldn't catch up to us.
I then said, "I think we lost them!"
I said it with a smile on my face along with Fighting having a smile on his face too. But then suddenly Spirit accidently fell into the river as some of the snow crumbled and slipped into the water, in which case Spirit was now being carried by the fast and moving river. We kept running of course, but now the situation was different and now Fighting was panicking.
Fighting then said, "We have to help him! He can't swim!"
And as he said that, I looked back towards Spirit how was struggling to stay afloat and keep his head at the surface and was yelling, "Help!"
You could see the fear in both of their eyes as well. And as I saw that, I immediately did a hop, skip, and a jump towards the other side to see if there was a way I could help. Like I said, it didn't take much effort and with having pony legs compared to human legs, it was somewhat easy. Trust me, the experience is different than being in a human body.
Anyways, I was on the right side of the stream while Fighting was still running on the left side, making sure to not fall into the water himself. As we neared the area where that other stream of water met up with the stream the river that Spirit was in at that point, I started to see where the mountain was. It looked open and such, but at the time I didn't have the chance to notice all the little details. so I kept my focus on Spirit instead.
Even though he was a bit weird and didn't mean much to me, I tried to at least save him. Well, Fighting did at least. I just kept running to see if there anyway I could save him. But even though we were passing the area we needed to be in, the water kept going a little further down and into an area with more trees on both sides.
And so as we did we kept following Spirit as fast we could but the water sadly was too much for us. But the good news was though there was an end to the whole chasing thing as the water was going downhill, there was a big log and some rock in Spirits way so he couldn't fall over with the water and go down the little waterfall. But sadly, since the water was too strong for Spirit, he got pulled under and once he hit the log and the rocks, his hoof got stuck.
More specifically his back legs got stuck on the log and the rocks. We were able to meet up with him within time for a chance to get Spirit out, but Fighting got into the water first. And as he got into the water he got onto his hind legs to try and pull his son out.
And as he did, you could see more than worry and fear in his eyes and face, but instead sadness as well. and as he got to his son, he could see his son looking up at him through the water, and seeing it in his eyes that he needed help desperately.
And so he said, "Hold on son! I'm going to get you out!"
And so Fighting quickly tried to pull his leg out. He reached under and tried with all of his might as his son moved and struggled trying to survive and get air. But nothing was working.
So Fighting quickly turned around and tried to buck the log off, but the log of course was too big to be bucked and wouldn't move at all. And so Fighting tried one more thing and got a good grip on his son's arms and tried to pull up from the water.
And as he did, you could see tears starting to form in his eyes as he looked up at the sky and passed the clouds and as he tried to get his son out from under the water as he was still alive at this point, but not for long, Fighting said, "Come on! Just come on damn it! Don't die on me! Don't die on me! Please...PLEASE! Don't do this to me! Why are you doing this to me! WHY!?"
And then, he could feel his son moving. His son was dead. Spirit had drowned under water and was no longer breathing as the water filled his lungs up. His son was dead and Fighting could feel it as he was holding his dead son in his arms. But he didn't let go yet.
He just looked up at the sky with tears flowing down his face and he then continued to say as I just stood there watching him do it, "Why? Why!? Why did you do it!? God damn it! Why did you do this to me!? He didn't need to die damn it! He didn't need to die! He was just a kid damn it! W-Why!? Don't do this to me! TAKE ME! Just take me god damn it! TAKE ME NOW! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No Nooooooo!"
And then Fighting finally let go of his sun as his dead body just floated under water. Fighting then felt like giving up all open and got on his four legs again and fell into the water. However I thought I should have helped him out of the water, so I did. I quickly got into the water and pulled him out so he wouldn't drown himself.
And as he did, he slowly pushed me away and he crawled onto the land himself.
but he still continued to cry and cry as he said, "It's not fair damn it....it's not fair. He was just a kid. A kid that didn't have a chance. Why did it have to happen to him damn it? WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN TO HIM!? Why couldn't it just happen to me damn it!? Why couldn't it happen to me? Why...why....why god damn it....why?"
And then Fighting remained quiet for a bit as he continued to sob over the loss of his son. And as he did so, I just stood there until I looked over to the area where we needed to go and so I went over there and thought he would meet me when he was ready. I walked quietly to myself, not knowing what to think. I thought to myself, why not make a joke about it. Then I thought it would have been rude and so I gave a moment of silence. ... And then I thought to myself that I needed to start making jokes...BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD...
Unfortunately I didn't have any good Indian jokes to make, let alone an Indian that was also a pony from the MLP universe. So I was short out of luck on that front. But the good news that I was able to take a good long look at the area that lead to the mountain.
Where to start? Well first off, the slope that was leading up towards the mountain and over the water fall was a bit far off. So it would still take some time to get there, but it was right there and was certainly not going to be covered up in an avalanche and such. Not only that but the slope did seem a bit steep, but was still climbable in the end. As for the waterfall, the water that made it to the bottom was eventually put into a river, similar to the one that Spirit died under, and eventually met up with the other water stream. As for the other side of the mountain, the mountain that headed west, the slope for that one was going way down, but it was still easy to get down though. It just was a long ways down was all but was doable.
And as for the surrounding area, well, to my right from where we were being chased at, there was a bunch of trees and such. So it was more than likely that anyone that were to go into those woods would more than likely get lost in it.
As for my left, there was some trees, some slight hills where a pony could hide behind and some rocks, but over all, it over looked a huge area: Freedom. Or at least freedom from the forest that was. It was of course another edge, a cliff you could say. But it over looked a beautiful landscape with some hills and trees and such at the bottom as well. And surprisingly there was a log just sitting there that happened to be near the edge of the cliff. So I brushed off the snow a little and sat on the log and awaited for Fighting to come back. And I waited and waited, but it was only about roughly ten minutes or so before Fighting got it together and came to where I was.
At first he was a bit confused as to where I was but eventually he saw me. I saw him too as he slowly walked towards me, but looked very down and depressed while doing so. So he eventually came towards me and as he did I moved over to make him a spot to sit down. When he did get towards me, he didn't sit on the log, but instead he put his back towards it instead and just looked over what the cliff was overlooking.
We were still silent for awhile until he finally said, "I'm not going."
He said it calmly as he continued to look out into the horizon and oddly enough, at that point, the sun was high in the sky and it looked like at some point the sun was going to set. I know it sounds odd, but it took us almost all day to get to this point so, there you go.
Anyways, I then said to him, "Wait...what? You too?"
Fighting then said, "I'm done. I'm tired. I've lost so much. I just...can't keep going."
I then said to him while I was looking at him, but he didn't look at me, "But...you have a chance to live. Come on, we can get out of here and you won't have to worry about getting killed."
Fighting then said, "I don't...care. Besides, I'm an old stallion that has lost so much that there is no point for me to go on anymore. I've lived my life and...there is nothing else out for me back home. I mean I lost my son. I lost my business. I lost my workers. And...I don't have anypony else left Knight. I just...don't. If I go back now...I'll have nothing. Not only that but...I never told anypony else this, but that business that you saw earlier where we were at...it was going under. It was getting to the point where I was so much in debt that I couldn't keep up with the bills and everypony's paychecks that I was going to go bankrupt. And I was worried about what was going to happen. But in the end, those cannibals came and made things even worse.
'I'm sorry Knight...but...this is my last stop. I'm done...and I'm through. I give up. You go on...you're young and have a chance. Sure you're at an adult age, but you still have a life left to live. But for me, I'm done. And besides, if it wasn't for those bastards, I would still have a son with me and I would want to continue to live. But he's not...because of them we had to run and so he fell. And so he's dead. So I'm at least going to put up a fight with one of them and kill them at least. I'll take one of those bastards with me if I'm going to go now."
I then said, "Fighting..."
Fighting then said, "And that's not my name either. I kind of lied. My real name is John Jackson to be honest. It was a weird name to be honest, in fact my dad was drunk when he gave me that name. He was drunk all the time you know. I was so ashamed of it that I just...kind of changed my name when I moved to Equestria. Sorry about lying to you and all...but I assume you lied about your name too?"
I then said, "No...not really. Knight is my real name."
John then said, "Oh...I see then. Well it was nice knowing you Knight. It was nice knowing..."
And John didn't say a single word for a bit. I continued to sit there, but he didn't move either.
Then he said, "You know...I feel like this is for me."
I then asked John, "What?"
John then said, "Just...look at that. Look at that beautiful landscape. I feel like all of this is for me...you know. I feel like this was made specifically for me. And what a way to go you know? The last thing I see is this beautiful piece of art. Well...what are you waiting for Knight? Get going while you still can."
I then asked John, "What about you though? Are you sure you want to stay? Maybe you can find someone else? Maybe you can find a friend, get another job or..."
John then said to me, "That's...enough Knight. Please go...now. Go...get a move on....please. Please..."
I then silently nodded my head and got up from my seat on the log and started moving towards the slope.
And before I went my own way, I said to John, "You want the knife before I leave or are you going to use your hooves?"
Fighting looked over to me and he then had a little smile on his face, but not for too long as it disappeared as he said, "You know what else Knight...I kind of lied about that too. I don't even know how to fight a pony. I only ever got into a fight once and it was at a bar. I lost. But...you know...I'm sorry. Rock was right...you know...what he said about me last night. He saw me who I really was. Might as well take that knife and...slit my own fucking throat you know. Might as well end it right here, right now, while looking over this beautiful landscape. Just...start cutting myself until I bleed to death. But...I can't do that, even though I feel like doing it. I just can't...not when I have a chance to...at least get one of those bastards for killing my son at least. Just...put the knife on the log Knight, and get out of here before it's too late."
And so I did, as I used my magic, took the knife out, and gently placed it on the log and right next to John's face. And then I started walking towards the slope, and as I did, John just continued to look over the landscape and while I wasn't able to hear it, looking back he had his final words that he said to himself.
He said, "I'm scared..."
And then he kept silent until he died.
As for TF's group, they hopped, skipped, and jumped over that river thing and into the woods, you know, where we were at before Snow and Blacky started firing at us and we had to start running for our lives. Which...didn't end very well as you know. Anyways, they jumped over the stream thing and walked deep into the woods without a single word out of the five of them. Eventually though they found an empty area, a circle area within the woods as they continued to move towards where John was at.
So they quickly stopped at the empty circle area that was surrounded by what seemed like endless rows of trees and TF said, "Alright then. Snow and Sky, you go north and check if they went that way just in case. Blacky, continue west and see if you find anypony else that is there. As for me and Star, we'll continue looking at a different direction. Got it?"
Everyone in the group nodded their head. And so TF then said, "Good...now move out."
And so Blacky moved out on his own and going towards the area where John was while Sky and Snow was going more deep into the woods while Star and TF did whatever they did. In which case all they did was go south a little bit into the woods. As for Sky Snow, Blacky was a bit worried about them. Snow didn't trust Sky one hundred percent still so anything could happen to them. But long story short since neither of them talked, nor did anything interesting happened to them, they eventually got separated while in the woods as they were searching.
Ok...that was another lie, kind of, but not really. What I meant to say was, stuff didn't really happened but yet at the same time it kind of did. The most that ever happened was that they were deep into the woods, to the point where it looked like they were in the middle of nowhere. No landmarks, no place where there isn't any trees at all. Just endless rows of trees and white snow.
And as Snow and Sky were walking together, checking to see if they could find me or not, Sky then said to Snow, "I think we're lost."
Snow then said, "We're not lost. Although now that I think about it, perhaps you're hinting at something Sky."
Sky then said, "What?"
Snow then responded with, "I know I said I am not sure if you are going to kill me, but yet it feels like you are, since we are all alone in the woods."
Sky then said to Snow, "I would never do anything like that Snow. Why can't you just accept that so we can be friends again?"
Snow then said, "Because, Sky, you are just too suspicious to me, being the weakling of the group and all. Tell you what Sky, how about we split up."
Sky then asked Snow, "What?"
Snow then said, "If it makes you feel any better, we can go our separate ways as we look for Knight. I will feel safer and you won't have to fear me and my gun."
Sky then asked Snow, "But...what if I get attacked?"
Snow then said, "I'm sure you will be fine. You could always scream for help assuming you are telling the truth of how weak you are. And if you can take care of yourself, I know by then that you were lying the entire time. But...you know...it could also help out if we cover more ground you know if we split up. Don't you want to be part of the team and do something for once Sky?"
Sky then said, "Sure...uhh...I'll go...this way then."
Sky then pointed towards the left of the woods as to where he was going to off into. As for Snow, he then said to Sky before he left, "You go do that then."
And then Sky went his own way.
As for Snow on the other hand...hoof...whatever...he then said once Sky was out of view, "Alright then...time to play a little game of cat and mouse. All I need to do is go and find Star and we'll hunt little ol' Sky down and prove that he is the traitor."
And then Snow then went back to the circle area to see if he couldn't find Star and such so he could try and kill Sky.
So sky and Snow were on their own. As for Blacky on the other hand, he quietly walked into the area where we were at. He jumped over the stream of water again that was leading into the other stream of water and started searching around the big open space. However, once he got to this point, he sat down on his ass on the cold snow.
He didn't care at this point because he was tired. he was on the move for days in a forest and while he had done worse in the past, he was still an old stallion that was too old for what he was doing at the time. He just wanted to get to a room, have a nice hot meal, a nice warm bath, and sleep in a nice, soft and comfy bed. In fact, he felt like he just wanted to give up then and there. He was just so tired of running and chasing after other ponies that it drained a lot of energy out of him and this trip made him feel like he wanted to collapse on to the ground and rest for a while.
Not only that, but he was starting to feel pain in his back, he was starting to show his age after all. And as he was sitting down, he noticed that there was some birds chirping nearby, possibly trying to gather food for their little ones. He also looked around and saw what I had saw earlier, just a big open space filled with snow and shit. But in the end, he was glad that this little trip was about to come to an end, either TF failed and lost his chance to catch me, or that he saw me and killed me.
He didn't care at this point how it all ended for him, he just wanted to see other pony's faces for once that wasn't a face of a killer. More importantly though, he then started to think about Sky. He started to wonder if that kid was going to grow up to see himself as a villain or die as a pony that was filled with innocence and a sense of wonder. He wondered that to himself if he was going to even be doing right by that kid in the end.
He wanted to, he felt like he had the heart for it, but then he started to have second thoughts about it all and thought that perhaps a killer like him wasn't the best role model for him to be around with if he wanted the best for Sky. But, he then put all thoughts about Sky and life and how tired he was aside since he still had a job to do. He just needed to sit down for a bit. On the ground at least. So he got back on his hooves instead of sitting on his ass and looked around to make sure there wasn't anyone else around. But he saw nothing but snow and stuff.
But then he thought he had saw something. He saw a little speck walking up the slope...which was me of course. And as he was about to report it and go after me, he got jumped by John. He had the second pocket knife that I gave him in his mouth as tried to stab Blacky with it, but Blacky was too good and too experienced in fighting and was able to overpower John. So Blacky was able to pin down John and punch him several times in the face until he got both of his hooves on his neck and snapped it.
It was a quick snap as he broke John's neck, which of course killed him instantly. And with that being said, Blacky was trying to capture his breath. He wasn't hurt that much since John really didn't put up much of a fight for him, but he was able to get up and look back to where I was. And while he was prepared to go after me quickly and try and kill me, he then heard a gunshot and a loud scream.
I heard it too of course but I kept moving forward since I was the last one to survive in my group. But for Blacky, it was worrying. He thought it could have been Sky that was hurt, or maybe someone else could have been hurt and he needed to be there to help. So he quickly jumped over that stream thing again and went back into the woods.
And once he did, he made his way back towards that empty circle area, to where he started to slow down as he saw two bodies on the ground in front of him.
As he got closer, he then said to himself quietly, "Snow? Star?" And then, everything went to black for him as he was knocked out.
A FEW MONTHS EARLIER...
One more flashback I guess. Anyways, where do I start with this one? Well, let me describe where it starts at I guess. It's dark, in the dead of night. It's back on Earth, my Earth that is.
It's somewhat in the middle of nowhere. The place is near a city, but not too close though as it's private property owned by the United States government and partly by a cooperation. It's all quiet for the most part. The only thing that anyone could hear was the song "Video killed the radio star" being played somewhere in an old car from the nineteen seventies that was parked near the place. Not too far, but not too close either. And in that car is TF. In the car all the lights are off. And he had his binoculars out, spying on the place. As for what he sees, he spots that the entrance is guarded by several security guards along with two vehicles being parked there, blocking anyone that tried to come through.
And the guards are keeping their faces covered and holding guns in their hands. He then looked over to the compound, the building within the private grounds, and from what he could tell, there has been a break in and the security is trying their best to deal with the situation at hand. TF doesn't say anything, in fact, he never says a word at all. No one says a word at all. Well, since it was at the dead at night, it would mean he would be able to sneak in without much trouble, assuming he finds a way in and keep quiet. He has a backpack with him though filled with items that could be useful to him. For instance, he had the tools to break through a chain linked fence.
And of course the building was guarded with that as well. Although there were guards snooping around, checking every corner they possibly can. But as long as he stayed quiet and within the shadows, he would be fine. But if he was black, he would be able to just walk by the guards...because black people are like that sometimes.
You're just standing around in the middle of the night outside, doing whatever, possibly smoking weed or something else that might be embarrassing...and then all of a sudden you get scared as a black guy comes from out of nowhere. Because you know how black people are, they blend so well into their environment when it's at night you never see them coming do you? Hell, even when they try to go to night school, the teacher doesn't even see them because they are so black.
When a black guy takes a security job as a night guard, the burglar just walks on by, not noticing that a black guy is even there. Too bad black people can't hunt in Africa though while it's night time. Because in the end they get eaten by the lions and other big cats. Big cats like the taste of black people especially, they taste like chicken. But with the zebras though, they would eat the black people, but then they would consider that cannibalism...same thing with the monkeys. But the black bears don't mind eating the black people, mostly because due to their religion of Bearing Islam, where they blow up if they see a non-believer in their sights.
The only place that a black guy can go to and be seen while it's the dead at night is Monster High. The only other creature though that can sneak by people while at that dead at night is black pussy...cats. Black pussy cats are the only other ones that can sneak by you while it's at the dead of night as unlike actual black pussy, they don't bitch and be sassy about things in life. Although they do have a tendency to get distracted by ladders and broken mirrors though. That and white blind mice.
It's their fetish. That and I suppose Morgan Freeman would also be right for the job that TF was doing that night as well. I wonder what happened to Morgan freeman, he would somehow magically take over my journal and start writing his own shit. But you know, maybe that's for the best. But who knows, maybe he'll come back in a few days or something. Same thing with that other white guy.
But enough of that, you get the point though, TF was planning on breaking into the area and it would have been better if he was black but...whatever I'm not going through that shit again. Anyways, with TF, he got out of the car quietly as he could, but left the engine running though. And as he did, he did see the guards looking over to his direction, but it was from a far enough distance to where they didn't consider him a threat. Although those guards did remain a little cautious however.
And so TF walked away from the car, silently, and into the dark. The guards of course though couldn't see him though that well as he walked further into the darkness, so as far as they knew, someone got out, and that was it. But they were sure there was nothing to worry about though considering there were guards everywhere. Well, anyways, TF walked up to the fence as he kept low to the ground, and as he did so, he noticed there was a small hole in the fence. Pretty much alerting him that to whomever broke into the building also made the hole in the chain linked fence.
And so it was sort of convenient to him that he didn't need to use his tools that he brought along. And so he got onto his knees and quietly and slowly went through the hole and ended up within the area of where the guards were searching around at. However luckily for him, there was enough darkness for him to sneak through and such. But to be honest, he wasn't much for sneaking to much as he needed to cause some sort of chaos. And so he took off his backpack and unzipped the front pouch and pulled out a simple hand gun with a silencer added to the front.
And then he got back up, put on his backpack, and headed outside. However, as he was about to walk towards the building, he noticed his first guard was about to walk by him, and since there were lights within the outside of the area, he needed to be quick about it all. And so he stayed to the shadows and waited for the guard to pass him by, since he had enough darkness to cover him on the edge of the private area.
And as the guard walked by him, not noticing him, TF pointed the gun and simply shot him in the head. And as the guard fell, others took notice, in which case TF slowly had a smile form on his face because he enjoyed taking another life away. He started to like the idea of just causing some fear and some deaths.
Not that he embraced it and was his number one thing to do, but just liked the feeling nonetheless. It's like taking drugs that aren't that addictive, but yet you just like taking them because they feel good. But then you realize those drugs are actually just sugar pills and you realize your life in an entire lie that you have lived and it gets to the point where you slowly start to go insane and you eventually put a double barreled shotgun in your mouth and blow your own brains out.
Then your parents wonder what went wrong when they raising you and that they failed as parents. But then it turns out that the pastor at your local church touched you in the wrong places, but yet it turns out he was retarded and he was just exploring dark places just to find Atlantis. And then...you end up in Heaven and St. Peter just asks you, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
And then you roam the earth forever as a lonely spirit...alongside Kurt Cobain as he thinks he's in Nirvana. Anyways, the guards slowly went towards him, but TF was quick with a gun and so, basically saying, long explanation short, he just started shooting up the guards. Although to be honest, there was only about maybe seven guards on the outside, and the guards guarding the fence didn't notice that this was taking place at all, so they were fine.
But with the other guards that were walking and patrolling the area were just falling like flies as TF quickly aimed for head shots left and right. He did it swiftly enough before the guards had a chance to fire back. And he did it all with the silencer and such. And as TF did so, he enjoyed every last second of it. And once the last guard was dead, he simply stepped out of the shadows, looked all around him, and noticed that all the guards outside was dead except for the guards at the gate.
However TF then was about to aim for the guards at the gate, but then at last second he put his gun down and decided to just walk away and conserve his ammo. He didn't have too much in terms of guns at this point. And so he simply walked through the front doors of the building with no hassle. And as for what was TF wearing at the time, well he was just wearing a brown jacket, made from that fake kind of leather that looks like leather, but isn't real leather. Along with a white T-shirt and such and that was about it. Not much to really say about what TF looked like, mostly because I already explained that part.
Anyways, TF walked into the building and as he walked in, all he was greeted with was a boring, bland, white hallway. The lights were bright of course, but that was about it. And as he walked in, all he saw were empty rooms with the door open with lots of dead bodies and blood everywhere. So clearly the one that broke into the building was killing anything left and right. And at this point, TF needed to see who it was doing it. And as he continued to walk, he found himself at a crossroad, either go left or right. And as he stopped at the end of the hallway and looked both ways, judging on what way to go, he then heard a slightly loud scream coming from the left end.
And at the end of the left hallway, he saw a door open to what looked like a security room. And so TF curiously looked down the hallway and had his gun pointed out as he walked towards the door. As he did, he started to hear more slight screams of pain and agony. And as he got to the room, he then saw who the one that was doing all of this mess.
It was Star of course, and she was in her usual uniform where nothing showed her face except for her eyes. And as she finishing off another guy, she quickly looked up and was about to take a defensive position, but then TF quickly took something out of his pocket as he had a smile come across his face. As this happened, Star let her guard down and saw what TF was holding. It was a USB Flash Drive and on there was a small piece of masking tape with the words written on it, "Files for Project Human."
And so once Star saw this, she immediately wanted to whisk it away from TF's hands, but TF pulled his arm back and with his other, the one that had the gun, he simply raised his index finger up and did the motion that pretty much said, 'Ah ah ah a ha ahhhhhh. you're not getting this from me until you earn it from me. Or else I'll destroy it in front of you.'
And then Star knew what TF meant, and TF simply moved his head towards the hallways, pretty much telling Star to go with him and they would talk later. And so, the two walked away, got into TF's car, and drove away. And that's pretty much it. I know not much, but to be honest that's what happened that night.
At least from what I can look back into the past and stuff like that. I mean, it's not like there was much action that went on, but you get the idea I guess. Although, there was some details I should possibly bring up. In that security room that Star was in, on the patches of the uniform that the guards were wearing, the words Wolves were written on it. Not sure if that meant anything, but you get the idea. But yeah...I guess that's all the flashbacks. I don't even know why I had to write them. Now that I think about it, why didn't I just write from my point of view?
Why did I even tell you what happened with TF's group? I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. But then again...does anyone really care? Well, whatever, you get the idea. as to what happened at this point and such. And for that, I suppose I should tell you what happened in the very end. The very last part of this little journey that happened to me.
Of course this is only small part as to what happened to me because...trust me, I've got a lot to go before I'm done with my little autobiography. Well, I suppose, the most fitting way to end this part will be done now.
BACK TO TF'S GROUP...
And so it begins, The last of the last. The one that will pretty much wrap up this whole segment up of what happened in the forest. Yup, and I still have a shit loads left to go...so anyways, Blacky was of course was knocked out. But by whom you might ask?
Well it was no other than TF of course, I mean who saw that coming, am I right? Well, Blacky was on his back, all weak, didn't have much energy to get up and start to fight back. He was powerless at this point as he felt weak and his age started to feel like it was catching up to him. And right next to him as he slowly opened his eyes, he saw Snow looking directly at him. Snow was still breathing and such and was still able to talk. As for Star however, she didn't look like she was doing so good at all. However, she was somewhere Blacky couldn't see her, so he couldn't tell if she was dead or alive.
As for Snow however, Blacky looked over to him and he quietly asked, "Snow? What's going on?"
Snow then simply said, "I'm sorry Blacky...I'm sorry... You were right. It was him."
And then out of nowhere an axe came striking down and splinting Snow's skull as the axe got stuck in his head. As for where it came from, Blacky didn't know, and even I don't know. But somehow, somewhere, TF found one, although more than likely TF was crazy enough to plan everything out and was hiding it somewhere.
Not one hundred percent sure on that, but it's a likely guess however. Anyways, after Blacky saw Snow die, he looked up to see TF, standing tall above him. And with a little smile on his face.
As TF was walking towards Star, who was barely alive, Blacky then said to TF, "You...you son of a bitch. Why!?"
TF then said as he simply got a syringe out from a little satchel that he was carrying himself, which I even almost forgot that he had one, "Oh don't act surprised Blacky. Even you should know that you had a chance to run. You looked passed my bullshit and lies and all the things that I've said and you didn't do a damn thing to stop me. I even gave you a warning and you still didn't walk away from it all. Hell you could have taken Sky with you and I wouldn't have gave a single fuck if you did so. But instead you went with the flow and thought that everything was going to be fine in the end of our little trip. But here we are, at the very end of the trip, the very end of it all. Isn't it quite exciting?"
And as TF got a grip on the syringe with his hooves and started to inject it into Star's neck, Blacky got up a little bit to look past Snow's dead body and saw what was going on.
He then asked TF, "What are you doing to her?"
TF then said, "Well to be honest she is quite a disappointment. I thought she was able to do my bidding and basically do what I say, but she just started to disobey me. So I have to put her down unfortunately."
And TF then looked towards Star and said to her before she died, "And as for you young lady, I hope you should be ashamed of yourself. I mean you had such talent that went to waste. But I have to put you down. Hopefully your sister will show better at obedience than you have. I guess it will be fitting for her codename to be Moon Sparkle. A little dumb, but fitting nonetheless if you ask me. Well, have sweet dreams princess...and good night."
And with that said, Star struggled to be kept alive, but she could feel her heart was about to stop beating. And so, as her final moments passed, she saw TF as the last thing she ever saw alive. And then...she died without a single word spoken. Then TF gave a little bit of a moment of silence, but after a while, he then went over towards Blacky.
Sadly he didn't try to crack jokes about Star...BECAUSE SHE WAS DEAD...I mean hell, that is what I would have done, but whatever I guess. Anyways, TF walked over to Blacky and grabbed him with his hooves and dragged him over to a nearby tree to sit him against his back.
As he was pulling him, Blacky then said, "Wait...what are you doing?"
TF then said, "Oh relax there buddy, it will all be over as soon as I get what purpose out of you there is. Otherwise I might as well blow your head off right now."
And then TF got Blacky to a tree and sat him up against it. And once he did, he went into his little satchel and grabbed out another syringe, in which case he got the needle ready and injected a liquid into Blacky's neck.
In which case Blacky then asked TF, "What did you do to me?"
TF then said, "Nothing really. I just gave you something that will last about roughly thirty minutes or so before your heart stops beating. It will also make you somewhat drowsy as well and make it to where you can barely speak a word and not have much energy to fight back at all. So, just relax and let it all end. No need to fight it anymore. You can dream peacefully...and who knows, if there is no afterlife, you can go to sleep forever and ever and don't have to wake up to a nightmare every morning. And besides, I need you alive for Sky."
Blacky then said, "Sky? What are you going to do to him!?"
TF then simply got up and walked away and started walking towards the other end of the circle area and was getting ready to do something.
In which case as TF was walking away, Blacky then said, "You leave that boy alone! You leave him alone you hear!? He did nothing wrong! He's just a kid! Leave him alone!"
And with that being said, Blacky started to feel the effects of the injection and TF didn't respond at all to his concerns.
And as TF was ready as he made himself look like he had put up a good fight with someone else and was tired, he then yelled out as loud as he could as he looked like he had run out of energy and was in a panic, "SKY!!! SKY WERE ARE YOU!!! I NEED HELP!!! COME ON!!!SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED!!! SKY!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!"
And then he waited for a response, and then he heard another loud yell, this time sky yelled from deep within the woods, "I'M COMING!!!"
And TF waited and still looked the part of a pony that looked like he had no energy left and needed help desperately. And as he did, Sky eventually came into his field of vision and came running towards him.
Once he was close enough, Sky then asked as he had a very worrying look as to what was happening, "I'm here. What happened?"
TF then pointed over towards the mess of the two dead bodies and Blacky sat against a tree who was slowly dying and TF said, "Look."
Sky then was lost for words. He didn't know what to say or what to feel other than sadness going straight to his heart and mind. Tears started to flow out of his eyes as he slowly walked towards the two dead bodies.
He looked down as he dropped anything that he had with him and said, "What...happened? Why are they...dead?"
TF then slowly walked up to him and put a hoof on Sky's shoulder and said to him with a certain face, "Knight did this. He jumped us all and we didn't see it coming. We didn't even have a chance. I tried my best, but he was too much for me. I-I underestimated what he could do, and he was simply too much for us. But...but look Sky. He thankfully didn't kill Blacky...well...not really though."
Sky then looked at TF and asked him, "What do you mean?"
TF then said, "Blacky is not in good shape right now Sky. He is...in a terrible, critical condition and more than likely will die within the hour. Go...go and see to your dearest friend while you still can. Just don't expect much from him, he can barely breath, he can barely say a word or two."
And then Sky went over to Blacky's side as fast as he could and got low to the ground to meet eye to eye with him. As for TF, he stayed behind Sky at all times and had a little smile on his face. Sky never saw it of course, but with Blacky, he did, and he knew what TF was going to do. And he hated it as well.
As for Sky, he then said to his friend, "Why? Why did this happen to you? Why could this happen? How could...anypony do this to another pony? I mean..I know there's killing and all, but like this? This...world is a cruel world...isn't it Black? I thought...we were going to see each other again...you know...and you were going to teach me the things that you promised me. And...teach me the history and everything that I needed to know about this world. I thought...I thought you were going to live longer. Blacky...please don't go. I...I need you...you're my only hope on how to survive in this world. This world that will surely end me as well. Why...why did Knight have to do this to you? It isn't fair...IT ISN'T FAIR!"
And then Sky started to sob a little and quietly, but then Blacky tried as best as he could and he said, although it was mostly mumbles though, "D-do-don't......t-r-trust....him....."
As Sky heard his words, he slowly looked up and asked, "What?"
TF then said as Sky turned his attention towards him, "This was Knight's doing Sky. All of this. And right now he is on his way towards his escape and he is almost there. And what a shame too. I mean only if you were strong enough and was here when it happened, you could have saved your friends Sky. But the sad part is though you just didn't have what it takes I guess in the end, that you were to soft and nice and friendly to the other ponies.
'I'm willing to bet that even if you were to have met Knight eye to eye when this all happened, he would have still done this to Blacky despite your friendly attempts. But there is still time though Sky. You can still catch him if you can. If you leave now, you can use all of those skills that Blacky taught you to strike back and finally, for once, kill. To kill and learn how to survive. For once, you can learn to be tough as you wish to be. Don't let Blacky's life be in vein. Sky...go...go to Knight get him while you still can."
Sky then started to have rage in his heart building up, have darkness filling his mind and wanted to kill me basically as he wanted to unleash his anger on to me.
But then, a slight doubt entered his mind and he then said, "But...I'm still weak. I can't...fight back."
TF then laid his hoof on him and he then said, "I believe in you Sky. You can do this. You can prove to me, prove to Blacky, prove even to your marefriend that you are fit to survive in this world and you have what it takes to fight back."
Sky looked up to TF's face and then he was confident in TF's words.
Sky then had his angry face on and he said to TF, "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to make him pay."
TF then said, "Then go to him then and make sure to not give any mercy."
Sky then slowly got up and started running furiously towards me, as he went out into the area where I was once at and was going to climb up the slope like I did. As for TF and Blacky, Blacky couldn't say another word as he didn't have the energy. But he could still listen to what TF had to say.
With that said, TF then said to Blacky, "Oh what a cruel world it is. You know...Blacky...I almost thought for a moment we were all going to be good friends in the end and we were going to see each other again. That I had changed my mind about killing you all, but then again I'm crazy like that sometimes. Hell, even I doubted the kid. But I had something in mind for him. You see, most of the ponies of Equestria is filled with love and magic. Even the Mane 6 proves that. The Elements of Harmony is the key to magic they say.
'They say that all ponies have love and tolerance in their hearts and that they will forever use kindness to befriend their enemies and such. And they have proved it to be the case...as any enemy that they have had in the past has been mostly solved with being nice and using love. Love triumphs evil they say. But I'm not from this world...no...no, no, no. I'm from another universe Blacky, another universe where I am not a pony, but a human. It's a long story really, and if I were to explain it all to you, you would be dead before you heard it all, but let's just say, love and tolerance does shit for me and everyone else. But here, love and tolerance works on their enemies.
'But I'm not an enemy from here now...am I? No...I am not. Instead, I just proved to you, myself, and another entity, that this world is filled with colorful ponies that have love and tolerance can be corrupted. That they can easily destroy themselves. I mean I've already started the flames of war by introducing guns to them. I mean do you think guns are even made for your kind?! Not at all! Sure, a projectile weapon is made for you in some cases like a canon or bow and arrow. But a gun is something of a different beast. A beast that does not belong here.
'For your kind it is magic. And with magic it is natural for your kind to kill each other with it. Natural means really as it all balances out. But with guns, it will only bring the end to your civilization and it will burn all of you to the ground. You will all die because of it. Because while guns are meant for humans, they are certainly not meant for ponies. Humans can survive with them, but with ponies, you will only destroy yourselves with it. Hell, look all the trouble it has caused now. You think your kind will survive in the end? No...no it will not. Instead it will slowly kill all of you on the inside and you fail to live as a species. Consider the guns as not as a gift, but as an invasive species that will take over Equestria sooner or later and then you will all burn. Just as I wish for so Knight can see it as well.
'As for Sky, I just proved to you that Sky can be corrupted. So love and tolerance and magic will not save you or your kind. No...no it will not. Instead, if you want to survive, you're going to have to use extreme measures of violence even just to survive. And not the ponies of Equestria don't have the balls to do so. They think that the worst things are Manticores and Changelings. But they have only scratched the surface. No longer will it be enemies from their own native homeland. But instead it will be enemies from above and beyond. Beings from other universes coming down and changing your minds, brainwashing you.
'Beings wanting to kill all of you that is from this world. Not even the Elements of Harmony can save the day. But to be honest, maybe Knight and his friends could, but in the end, who really knows what will happen in the future. The future is not written, the rules are not written in stone, and it was what we make out of it and the choices that we decide on in the end. But...I am afraid this is the end of the road for you. Sad to say that you have to go, but if there is an afterlife here in this universe, you better believe I'm going to burn that too. Goodbye Blacky, for all that you have done for me. And I suppose since you're a veteran of The Great War...I salute you."
And as Blacky's final moments were coming, TF stood up as tall as he could and gave him a salute to him. And with that being said, Blacky slowly closed his eyes and his heart stopped.
Right then and there, Blacky was dead. And as for TF, he had one more syringe ready to be used. And he was slowly walking over to the mountain as well. As for me, I had made it to the tippy top of the mountain. It wasn't as high as the two mountains from earlier, but it was quite high. And as I did, I saw the waterfall. It was weird really, maybe even somewhat magical as it somehow in some way; the water was flowing up from the north side of the mountains as there was nothing but a long drop to the bottom ad a river as well. And as for the water as it came up, then flowed back to the mountain, making the mountain top sort of a plateau you could say.
And as for me, I looked around me and I saw in the direction of the water flowing downwards, the sun was starting to set. The day felt like it went by very fast, but times flies when you're being hunted down and the risk of being killed is present. And for me, I calmed down and just relaxed for a moment to look at the landscape down below.
There was mostly just empty land filled with a blanket of white pure snow with some trees here and there. But mostly towards the west, there was a narrow, stretching road leading back to civilization. And all I had to do was walk down a slope and all would be fine. And for me, that was the direction towards freedom. The direction to be free from the forest and back to home, well, what was home for me that is, which of course was Stalia, but you get the idea. I was well on my way towards back home.
And as for the mountain itself, I found out later that it was one of those mysterious that Equestria had, where the water somehow happened to flow upwards instead of going with gravity and going down. An interesting wonder to Equestria you could say. But soon my moment of peace and calm was disrupted as I was pushed to the side and of course it was Sky. He was on top of me and tried to pin me down and tried to punch me in the face.
Although it was light punches though. He then kept yelling as I tried to push him off me, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO THEM!!! I WILL END YOU!"
and Sky struggled, trying to kill me and what not. The annoying part was that he knocked off my black hat so it was a bit annoying knowing that my hat was off my head. I know, weird, right?
Anyways, I eventually got tired of him struggling with me and trying to kill me and what not and so I said, "Alright...that's it."
And which case I somehow was able to kick him in the balls. I then said to myself, in my head, 'Looks like playing that worthless game Self-defense training camp paid off. Got to kick them in the balls'. And so I got up and grabbed my hat and put it back on my head and Sky slowly got up while trying to ignore the pain that was emitting from his ball sack.
He then tried to put a hoof up and said, "Come no...put em' up. Put em up I say! PUT EM' THE FUCK UP! I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND SHOW YOU HOW BLACK IT IS BEFORE YOU DIE, SHOW HOW BLACK IT IS FROM WHEN YOU KILLED THEM ALL!"
I then said, "Calm down kid. Look, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just trying to enjoy a moment here."
Sky then said to me, Don't you dare say that! You're lying! You know what you did!! You killed my friends damn it! God...fucking damn it!!!"
I then said to him in my defense, "Look, I never did anything about that. I mean come on, does it really look like I was the one that killed them. I don't even have any blood on me. And besides, I'm not that skilled in killing that much, well, aside from a gun and all. But still, why would I want to kill you and your friends? Sure you tried to kill me, but I've been constantly on the run, or else I would have tried to kill you guys by now with tactics and shit."
Sky's mind then started to toss various ideas around to where he was starting to get confused.
He then said, "N-No...that's not true. He...He told me you killed them all!"
I then said, "Who? You mean TF? I know him and...why are you trusting him? I mean lately he's been trying to kill me and if I know him, I'm sure he's a liar himself."
Sky then said, "What?"
Sky was then starting to get a lot weak and was starting to get on to his pony knees.
I then said to him, "Come on...think about it. Sure, me and TF have our differences, but TF is crazy. And besides, I'm just trying to get to freedom here from this place. I mean ask yourself this, what are you even doing here? Why are you here? Is it because you are along for the ride? Is it because of something else? Look, I have no idea what the whole story is right now, but...you need to at least think about things first before you do them. Trust me...I kind of...learned it the hard way in my earlier days. And technically I still do those things because I'm a kid like you. Just somewhat older than you is all...hard to explain. But you get the idea. I'm sometimes dumb and do weird things sometimes and say weird things, but I suppose for you, you need to..well...you know...think first. Look, I've got to get going. The sun is going to set and I want to get out of this place. You should...maybe come with me...if you want to that is."
Sky however was thinking back to the day that TF said yes to him and was starting to realize that all that he has been through up until this point was more than likely a lie. And so he stayed silent for a while and I stood there, waiting for an answer.
He then said to me though after a while of silence, "No...I can't...I can't go right now. I...I...Just don't...know anymore."
I then said to him, "Well, whatever is bothering you, hope it works out for you...I guess. I don't know, I'm not really good with goodbyes, not even for last words either. Well...goodbye I guess."
And then I left and went down the slope to freedom. As for Sky himself, he sat there, looking into the distant sunset as he thought about things and all that he has been through.
He thought about what TF told him about being his friend and the friends that he made with Blacky and the others. He didn't know what to think anymore. But then he felt a quick sting in his neck. In which case he jumped a little and saw TF had just injected something into his neck. Then Sky started to feel a bit weak and couldn't get up.
TF saw that Sky was scared but he then ended up saying, "Oh don't be like that Sky. You're going to be dead in a few minutes anyway. Just sit down and enjoy the sunset while you can."
And then TF sat right next to him and they both looked towards the sunset and talked one last time.
Sky then asked TF, "Why? Why did you do all of this?"
TF then said as he was looking towards me as I was heading down the slope and entering the long empty planes filled with snow and trees, "I had to. To test Knight. You see, I planned for almost everything that happened while on our trip. Maybe not exactly to the last detail, but I had somewhat of an idea as to what would happen. So I had certain items and weapons and areas planned for all of us mapped out depending on where Knight went. To be honest I wasn't planning on those others, but they were nothing but a nuisance that was quickly dispersed of.
'No...instead I wanted to test Knight and how he would do if he didn't have TK with him. If he had TK with him, he would win and I would die. But I had to trap him, see what he would do in a situation like this. Sad to say not much was given considering that he had a group with him and he didn't seem to do much, but in the end he still gave me something to go off of. Knight is still a kid. You see there Sky, Knight is an odd fellow, an odd person to me. He looks twenty one years old, but yet acts like if he was a dumb teen. In which case he technically is one, but really is true age is over fifty thousand years old. It's hard to explain really other than, how he acts is a bit odd. Maybe there is just something within his own mind that confuses him.
'He was taught how to survive and kill, but yet still acts like a dumb little fucking idiot. I don't know what to say other than, that is who he is I suppose. And ever since the day he found that portal to the outside of the universes I'm guessing he had no idea who he was and is trying to find that balance between sanity and insanity. I'm sure in due time he will find that balance, but until then he will act serious in one situation and goofy in another. Bi-polar maybe, but who knows. But as for you, I have changed you, and I have proved that your kind will slowly and surely will die by your own hands. Or should I say hooves. Well, there isn't much to say other than I used you and the others. This was simply just a big test for me to test Knight's skills. If I want to kill him and beat him, I have to know him first. And sadly I only know our past relationship with each other. Well Sky, I'm sorry it has to end this way. To be honest though you were a good kid, but a spoiled and corrupted one at that. This is the end for you Sky...goodbye...and forever may your soul be free."
Sky was then was about to fall over as he was losing the energy and the will to stay up as he was about to die, but TF then just gave him a slight push over the edge of the waterfall, and so Sky's body fell far and fast into the water below, never to be seen again. After TF looked down to make sure the body fell into the water, TF looked up and saw me running in the open field as the sun was setting.
He then said, "Run Knight. Run while you still can. Soon you will meet your end one way or another. Soon your world will burn one day, by one will or another. Even if it isn't by my hand, you world will surely come to an end and everything that you love will cease to live and exist. One day Knight...One god damn day."
And I continued to run towards the sun set, trying to find a way to get back on to the road and back home.
To Be Continued in Episode 23 Type-0 (Episode 23-3)
"Well I wanted to test if Knight was suited for the task is all. You know this is why I did all of this and I even proved to you that my plan will work for both of us. You will get to see Equestria be destroyed while I get Knight and kill him. That was our deal from the very beginning."
...
"I know, but you must have patients. You must not be too hasty about things like this. Our day will come...you'll see..."
...
"Good, glad we got that out of the way. We'll take this step by step...and it will come together all in the end...you'll see. Now if you excuse me, I've got some business to take care of back at Manehatten. I have a little thing to deal with a certain satellite and a newly replaced Godstallion."
The Jews Knows…ok whatever. So I’m guessing I’m doing this shit now huh? To be honest, I didn’t want to write this, but Wolf and I made a bet last night after we both took some really bad acid. And the bet was that whoever saw Winnie the pooh jerking off to foot porn while bugs bunny massages a person’s neck while in the bathroom in an uncomfortable manner has to do something that the other commands. Guess who saw Winnie the Pooh while jerking off to foot porn…this guy… I even managed to see some dark and trippy colors as well…saw that creepy Mickey Mouse doll up in the guest bedroom screaming the word nigger at a stick.
And that stick growing legs and saying, “Shhhhh…it’s alright baby…back in my day, we beat nappers with sticks. And that’s right baby…nappers, I fucked them every day.”
And then the stick would go back to being a stick. I then went into a dark, but yet calming place where I felt like I was floating through time and space. No worries, no fears. I was one with myself. I saw the stars, the planets, the galaxies, the ever expanding darkness of the universe. And then it all went to black and I ended up waking up on the coffee table.
And for a second I had thought I saw a chicken say to me, “What’s going on Nigga?”
But then I rubbed my eyes and…there was no chicken. I was like ‘what the fuck’? Where was the chicken? Was that chicken just part of my imagination? I don’t know. I keep getting this feeling, this weird feeling in the back of my head that the chicken is going to come back to me in the middle of the night and stare at me…with a knife and wait for me to be in a state of a deep sleep and then murder come towards my bed with that knife. And when I can’t feel anything, and it’ll cause the 5th 9/11…I don’t know, I just get a feeling. Don’t trust the chicken that talks like a black guy.
Never trust the chicken. And now I think I know how Arrell feels. Well anyways, that was me. As for Wolf, I can’t see what everything goes on inside Wolf’s mind. I mean…I can open up portals, a window more or less, see what happened from my perspective and other people’s perspectives. I can maybe even see what goes on beyond the land of the living and depending and most of the time know what is being said in someone’s mind, with a slight hint of imagery. But the portals…they don’t work all the time like you think they would. It’s weird. It’s even weirder that I can somehow use the portals in that kind of way. It’s a weird combination of using my magic and outside of the universe…it’s complicated. But moving on, just know that Wolf’s mind in his acid state was untouchable for me to see. So Wolf told me what he “claimed” to see have seen.
He said to me that he saw Scooby Doo from the show A Pup Named Scooby Doo…and the he said everything got darker and darker for him as his heart rate rose up to a very high number that he could apparently feel…according to him. And then the theme song started to play and it ended up slowing down as the theme song started to repeat itself on an endless loop. And as the theme went on, it all got slower and darker as the pup named Scooby Doo started to just stare at him with a little smile. And to him, he got closer and closer to the pup without warning and with force by something that was behind him and against his own will.
And as he got closer, apparently a dark, deep, disembodied voice with a little bit of a booming tone to it said, “slowly dies on the inside due to painful memories of a pup named Scooby Doo...as the theme song slowly plays in the back of the mind, slowly eating away at the sanity that remains...as internal, confused screaming intensifies with every, passing second, wanting to be let out, yet no hope is coming, for the darkness slowly crawls into the mind of a human being, wanting to see the day of light, but the darkness of night forever more engulfs the world of the human mind, screaming for an answer from god, yet he never answers...”
And as soon as that string of sentences was over, it looped again just like the theme song, but instead of being slower, the words got faster and faster, and soon it was being said backwards. And as for Wolf, he couldn’t do anything but watch. He couldn’t close his eyes as the pup named Scooby Doo grabbed his eyelids…assuming wolves made out of wood have eye lids…well he does blink somehow so I guess he does, and held them up. And Wolf…Wolf watched in horror as he said he saw things that he cannot unsee. It is forever burned into his memory and that what he saw was something horrifying, nightmarishly terrifying.
Something that would make anyone sick to the core, just want to throw up by seeing it. But yet I have no clue what that thing even is as Wolf won’t say a word about it. You ask him, he will not say anything about it, not even a hint. And he even gets a little shaken up about it too. I think what he saw on that acid trip really got to him, and usually he doesn’t care too much most of the time. Those are only the words that he used to describe it to me. And...I think I believe him on it. Sometimes he likes to mess around with me, but…maybe he was correct. Well aside from that, he also saw the Nostalgia Critic and Lakra with hyper realistic eyes with blood coming out from it, but who gives a shit about that?
Anyways, that was our acid trip. I usually don’t take acid, in fact I’m not a huge fan of it, but it was a bet and that’s our thing…so why the hell not? But I lost and the thing that Wolf wanted me to do was while in the middle of telling what happened to me in the past, you know, the whole journal thing…he wants me to write down the little things as well. Those little moments, little forgetful, maybe funny moments with what happened to us in the past and such that no gives a crap about. Those little moments that don’t really matter, and really I rather not remember those moments. But I lost the bet and I’ve got nothing else better to do at the moment, so I guess I am obligated to do so. And with that being said, I guess I have to start writing down somewhat small, and insignificant events that happened in my past into this journal…fuck me and my life.
Sigh…I guess it isn’t the worse thing in the world. Well…where should I start then? The theatre?...no…not that…the stuff that happened with Ghost?...no we’re not at that part yet… Uhhh…the pillows? No…that was also Ghost…hmmm…me trying to find out what happened to the other ponies like Starlight…or Blueblood? No…I’ll save that for another time when I’m drunk off my ass. What could I write down…uhhh…wait…I’VE GOT IT!!! The time…when we talked about the Earth being flat…true story by the way. So where do I begin though with this…I know.
Ok so it was a nice morning on a brand new day, many, many, many years ago. Not that many years ago, but you get the point. And it was a bright and sunny day, a brand new, fresh day to start off with for most of the ponies living in the little…”little” town of Stalia. And I had just gotten up from my bed, went to the bathroom. I did my usual bathroom stuff that I do in the morning like brushing my teeth and the like. And then I went down, had a little bit of a headache. And I went downstairs to the kitchen because my eyes were hurting a bit, and I was a little bit groggy because I did some drinking the previous night and…well…let’s just say I was hammered.
A little bit of a hangover you could say, but not enough for me, Mac, and Jack to have done something. I was at the bar in town with the guys the previous night and came home and did some more drinking. That much I’ll say. And as I went down the steps, I found Wolf slumped over the couch, drunk out of his mind. But I brushed him off, went to the kitchen, and found some pills that came with the place when Wolf and I moved into the library. Yeah…it was already pre-packed with food and stuff, guess Celestia had prepared it for us at the time before she had me moved. Anyways, I took something that was called RinX basically their version of Aspirin.
I took two small pills, and decided to make some coffee, as that is sometimes the best way to get rid of a hangover. I didn’t say a word, and as I was making the coffee, Wolf woke up, and he had some shade on, crooked I mind you, on his face. And he too didn’t say a word either. He just got up from the couch, went to the fridge, and went to have his morning alcohol. And then my coffee was done, I put it in a disposable cup, and started to drink some as Wolf and I headed out the door. And yes, Wolf still had his shades on, while still being somewhat drunk.
And as we were walking towards the door to go outside, I said to him, “I hate the taste of fucking coffee.”
I had said it in a sort of miserable tone too…but my eyes were starting to get a bit better by that point, and I was feeling a tiny bit better, as expected.
And with Wolf’s response, he said to me, “Then take some medicine like I do then Knight. It’ll do wonders for you.”
And then as I was opening the door with my other free hoof, I then said to Wolf, “And that’s why I’m drinking coffee right now.”
And then I opened the door and the sunlight hit our eyes like a flash of blinding light. But afterwards, it was over as the light faded and we could see a better as our eyes adjusted. For Wolf, he flinched a little bit despite the shades, and for me, my eyes just had to adjust to the new brightness. And as we were walking out and I was closing the door behind us, we saw everyone out and about, having fun, with smiles on their faces. It seemed like a peaceful and busy day for some and fun for others.
And not too far from my home, were the guys playing a little game of Frisbee. Mac, Jack, and Arrell were standing in a big, spread out circle, with Forrest standing on the sidelines with a little smile, watching what was going on. And as for Neon, he was in the middle, catching a Frisbee in mid air with his mouth like a cat, but when he caught the Frisbee, he just landed on the ground on his hooves, spit out the disc, and let out a little screech. As for me, I’ve learned to stop questioning it, even though it was still weird and somewhere deep on the inside somewhere, I wanted to question it. But I couldn’t and just had to let it go. And so Wolf and I just walked over to them, and eventually they noticed us.
And Forrest was the first one to greet us and as he raised his right hoof and waved at us with a warm smile and said, “Hey guys! How’s it going!?”
I then said after taking a quick sip of bitter coffee, “Shut up Forrest.”
I had said it with a little scowling look, but after that, I immediately turned my head towards the other guys and said to them, “Hey guys.”
And Arrell, without turning his head towards me, as he had his back towards me while Jack and Mac was facing me, had said, “Heya Knight. Long night last night?”
And even though I hated them at the time somewhere on the inside, despite those feelings, I said to Arrell, “Ehh…could have been better.”
Forrest then spoke up and said, “But…I said hello first…”
And Jack just said in response, “Shut up faggot”
And Jack then looked over towards me and he then said to me, “Ehh…I’ve had worse Knight. But whatever.”
And Jack soon caught the Frisbee that Neon had spat out. And then Jack took the Frisbee, looked towards Mac, and threw it towards him, as high as he could, and soon Neon tried to jump up and bite it, but Mac ended up catching it instead, and then soon throwing it to Arrell.
I then questioned the guys, “So what is happening here?”
Arrell then said to me, “We’re just playing catch the Frisbee from Neon.”
And I asked them, “Why?”
And then Jack said, “Well we were supposed to be playing it with our pets and see who had the most non-pussy pet, but we entrusted our pets to Mac here and he ended up letting them loose. So we have no damn clue where they’re at.”
Mac then spoke up with a little anger in his voice and he said, “HEY! They were telling me they knew how to get into the secret base that Applejack is hiding somewhere. And when they get back, they’re going to tell me where that entrance is and we’ll go there together. And once we do, we’re going to have ourselves A FUCKING PAYDAY! There’s gold hidden in that secret base you hear!? And we’ll be rich…RICH I TELL YA! And Applejack will question where that gold went and she won’t know what hit her!”
But Forrest spoke up and said, “But…I miss my pet though…my pet hamster isn’t going to survive on his own out in the woods.”
Forrest started to have a little tear fall down his cheek as he made a little sniffle sound.
Mac then just responded with, “Stop being a wuss Forrest, your pet hamster will be fine. Hamsters can defend themselves when threaten and fight to the death. Everypony knows that, it’s common sense you big dummy.”
Forrest then said, “But…I just got that hamster from the pet store…I named him Mr. Fluffy…”
And Forrest still sounded sad when he had said that. And then Mac responded to Forrest with, “Don’t worry Forrest, if Mr. Fluffy dies and we find his body, we’ll avenge Mr. Fluffy together when we finally put Applejack down. I know she suspects us and our every move to take her and her empire down. BUT WE WON’T LET IT! RIGHT GUYS!?”
Mac had raised his left hoof up, trying to rally us all up for his “cause”. And after he had said that, he looked around, with a little bit of a hopeful smile on his face, waiting to see if anyone else was with him on the same page. But instead we just all stared at him…except for Neon who had the Frisbee in his hooves, but then had the Frisbee levitate in mid air for a few seconds, had it grew some eyeballs and started a starring contest. And Wolf was having his head in the clouds at that moment.
But still, we just stared at Mac. And after a few seconds of awkward silence, Mac just put his left hoof down and had his little hopeful smile disappear and have a little bit of an angry frown form upon his face.
And he then said under his breath, “One day, you’ll all see the mistake you chose this day. The day of reckoning is upon us all…”
But no one heard that and we just moved on with the conversation. And Jack then just said, “And so we kind of had nothing else to do with a Frisbee, so we’re just fucking around with Neon and told him it was his baby sister…we don’t get it either, trust us.”
And then Neon, as the Frisbee was still levitating in mid air with a pair of eyeballs, started to gouge out the eyeballs with a spork that he found…somewhere…and he said, “The Frisbee is the moooooooooooooooooooooooon.”
And then Jack said, “Ha…Frisbee is the moon. Reminds me of how the moon is fake.”
Jack had said it with a little smile, a little smirk more or less. But Jack’s comment didn’t make everyone smile other than maybe Forrest who didn’t seem to be bothered by Jack’s comments.
And of course as everyone else was staring at him, Jack had his little smirk disappear and then asked, “What are you assholes looking at?”
Arrell then gave a slight little chuckle and said, “I’m sorry, but clearly you’re the asshole here. You’re the one here believes that the moon isn’t real.”
Mac then looked at Jack and said, “Come on Jack, that’s a new low, even for Forrest.”
Forrest just sat there, as he was being bombarded with brash comments towards him, and said not a single word. He just knew in his mind that he didn’t say anything, but Yeah, he was still being ripped on.
But Mac continued to say to Jack, “I might believe that Applejack is evil, and she is, and everypony telling me no, she isn’t and it’s just the fact that I have social issues, even though that’s not true at all I tell ya. It’s not that, the voices in my head tell me so. But even I, Mac Farmer, believe in Luna’s great moon every night. It helps me fight the great evil that is Applejack when I pray to the moon and ask for its powers.”
Jack then said, “Come on guys, stop being stupid. Clearly the moon isn’t real. It’s just a way for the Alicorns to take control of us by installing fear into our minds that they are more powerful than us and that they can do whatever they want. It’s been clearly proven before that the Alicorns are just as powerful as any unicorn, and just made a hologram, so they can be in power and rule over us. And for that reason, we should not trust our own form of government…just saying...”
Arrell then refuted with, “Then explain how Alicorns can do all of these spells that unicorns can’t do, no offense Knight, and perform these spells…like making “holograms of the moon?”
And so Jack then said, “Hey, listen hear you son of a bitch. They just hid the spells somewhere so that nopony can ever find it. And the spells themselves is something any unicorn can do. I can do, Knight can do it. Even my little brother that I don’t like to acknowledge could do it too…assuming he existed.”
Mac then said to Jack, “NOW THAT’S JUST ABSURD! YOU’RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A FUCKING TRAITOR!”
Jack then got a little bit frustrated and had an angry face form on his face and looked towards Mac and said to him, “Oh you want to bring it on jackass!? You want to go a round or two for it!?”
Jack then raised his right hoof up, meaning he was ready to thrown down with Mac. And Mac just stood his ground, literally, as his hooves were firmly planted on the ground, with his teeth showing, meaning that he was a ready for a fight.
And a fight would have happened if it wasn’t for Forrest interrupting and said to the guys, “I think the moon is fake too.”
He had said it was a small smile. Not too big, but just as warm like his others.
And Jack just looked at him with a disappointed look on his face and he said to him, “Great, the faggot is the only one on my side.”
But Forrest then persisted, with a little disappointed look on his face and said to Jack, “But I do though Classy Jack. I really do. I genuinely believe that our form of government is a cover up so a secret, hidden government of even more powerful Alicorns can rule the entire pony race. And they are the ones pulling the strings and making us think that the moon and the sun are real and that the princesses are in power. And it was done to make us think that we’re still in control somehow while still being lazy and not have to worry about what laws are proposed and passed. I believe in a form of government where…”
Jack then cut off Forrest and said, “That’s greeeeeeeaaaaaat. Just fucking great.”
Jack then looked towards Neon and he then asked him while pointing his right hoof at him, “Neon, what do you think about the moon? Is it real or fake?”
Neon, that was then chewing on the eyeballs that grew on the Frisbee while holding the Frisbee in his hooves, and having a big smile on his face, as he said to Jack, “The moon is made out of the blood of my enemies. The Truths are lies. The lies are Truth. And we never landed on the moon. Neil Armstrong’s dead daughter Karen that died from cancer’s skull told me so last night while star gazing…”
And then after that response, no one was bothered by it and instead everyone just moved on. I did, but it’s just something you can’t fight…don’t fight Neon; it’ll just make your death go on longer. Don’t fight it. Just let Neon happen…shhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
So anyways, Arrell then said with a little bit of disgust in his tone, “Oh great, we’re outnumbered two to three.”
Arrell then turned his head towards me and he asked me, as Wolf just collapsed to the ground because he was drunk as usual, “Knight, what’s your stance on this? Do you think it’s a conspiracy or what?”
I then waited a few seconds before I gave my response. I thought about what was being talked about and honestly I didn’t really care if the moon was fake or not. By this point, does a governmental conspiracy about what is real even matter? I mean I was fucking a human being in the My Little Pony universe, and I’m going to question if the moon was fake or not?
But whatever, I had to give a response, so I then came up with what to say and I said to the guys, “I really don’t care about the moon. I think it’s real, but I really don’t care about this it. If anything, I’m more curious if the world is flat or not.”
And then after I had said that, I had to contemplate what I had just said, because in that moment I knew, I fucked up.
And so with that response, Arrell said, “If the world is flat? Clearly somepony didn’t go to school when they were young. Obviously the world isn’t flat.”
But then Jack spoke up and said, “Now wait just a minute, it’s not a farfetched idea that we’re living on a flat Earth.”
Arrell then said back to Jack, “Oh come on Jack, first you say you don’t believe in the moon, now you’re saying the Earth is flat? What’s next, you don’t believe in rainbows?”
Jack then said, “Well I would like to think the Elements of Harmony are trying to mind control us into thinking they’re special.”
Mac then quickly said, “I second that.”
Forrest then butted in and said, “I think the Earth is flat as well. I mean...I’ve been up there in the sky and I can never see the so called “curvature” of the Earth.”
Jack then looked towards Forrest with an annoyed, but mellowed out look on his face, “Forrest…stop agreeing with what I have to say. Your kind is not welcomed here…”
Neon then abruptly said, “The world is a ball!”
And then Neon, as usual with the regular smile, took out an annoying, talking orange, with the human looking eyeballs and mouth, and the orange said, “Hey Neon! Hey Neon! Why you’re gree…”
And then the orange was cut off as Neon took a big ol’ bite out of the orange’s face, but instead of an orange, it was blood, organs, and some pieces of a brain, as the orange screamed out in bloody terror as it was being eaten alive by Neon. But the rest of the guys ignored that, like usual, and we carried on with the conversation that we were having. Although I think that Neon is on the side that the Earth is round judging from that comment, but by this point, who knows.
Anyway, I then said, “ I just don’t think the Earth is round you know? I mean, if the Earth was round, then how does the sun and moon work then? Does that mean on the other side, the two princesses control the time of day for them? I mean if the earth was round, then how come the sun moves around us then? Shouldn’t we be moving around the sun with Celestia not having the power to control it in the first place? The moon maybe, but not the sun.
'But if Celestia can really, truly move the sun, then that would mean the sun and the moon revolves around us, we don’t revolve around the sun. Also, if the sun can be moved, then that means the sun has to go somewhere, and with space, it can only go so far while still being in range of Celestia controlling it. So that means it has to go under the earth. And if the earth was round, then that would mean that the sun rises when we get our moon, and I don’t think that really happens. It just goes underneath while Luna raises the moon, and vice versa.”
Jack then said with a confused look on his face, “Uhhh…I was thinking that the two princesses was trying to control us and make us think we’re living on a round planet but uhhhh…that works too I guess.”
Forrest then said, “I think that makes sense.”
He had said it was a slight smile as well. As if he was happy that I put in my two cents or something of the like.
But Arrell then looked like he was fed up with what I was saying and he said, as he raised one of his hooves in the air and waved in around in motion, “Oh come on!”
Arrell then looked towards Mac and he then quickly asked, “Mac, please tell me you don’t believe in a flat earth.”
And Mac then had a thinking look on his face as he said, “Uhhh…well…I don’t know much about math. My Pa and Ma never really sent me to a school to do that fancy science shit. But uhhh…I guess I do.”
Mac then thought about something for a few more seconds as he put a hoof to his chin to think about it.
And then after a few quick seconds of silence, Mac then said, “Is the Earth the shape of an apple?”
He had said that while putting his left forearm forward and a little bit of wide eyes as he looked towards Arrell.
Arrell then had a ‘whatever’ kind of look with his eyes and he said as he rolled his eyes, “Close enough I guess.”
And then a pony in a fancy suit and a fancy top hat came walking by. One of the residents of Stalia for the most part, and his name was Toppy Hoppy. He noticed us and overheard what we were saying. And he had a little smile on his face with a little monocle on his face, a nice, black, fancy suit and bowtie with a little cane that he was carrying with him. He was also a unicorn, sort of middle aged, and had a grey colored mane that was short, with a darker grey coat color.
And a cutie mark that was a picture of a fish…because he sold fish and made millions of bits off of it. And Honestly, most of the time I never notice the other residents of Stalia, but in one of a few moments, I have here. To me they are just in the background, maybe every now and then they say something, but I keep them in the background in my mind. So in case the day ever came and everyone was burning, I can drown out their screams of bloody murder and terror as I sip on some nice hot coco…
Anyways, Toppy Hoppy saw us, and he stopped by me, in which case I gave him a little, weird side look as he was standing next to me.
And he asked me, with a little high pitched fancy British voice, “I say, what are you chaps talking about here?”
I then turned my full attention towards him, as well as the others, and I then responded to him after giving a slight sigh, “We’re talking about if the rock we’re living on is flat or not.”
I had said it with a bit of cynicism in my voice.
Toppy Hoppy then responded with, “Oh I do say, that must be an exciting good time!”
He had said it with enthusiasm, in which case I responded to him with, “Well…if you like hell, then it’s right up your ally.”
And then all of a sudden another pony joined that was also a background resident of Stalia. This time it was Hickey Prick…he was a prick if you couldn’t tell. And he was a prick because he was part of the Homeless that lived in Stalia’s Hobo Ally. He was an Earth Pony and had a cutie mark of a pencil and paper as he used to be a school teacher…before he beat up some kids with a dildo he found in his dead wife’s coffin and then got expelled for it…don’t ask. And he came walking in with a dark tone color fur coat and a dirty, messed up, grease stained, brown duster coat that he had on. One of his eyes was disproportioned, had most of his teeth missing, and his nose was a bit cricked. His mane wasn’t clean either and was just a mess.
He even had a stench that followed him everywhere he went and it smelled like skunk feces and a slowly, dead rotting rabbit corpse. And maybe something more that has yet to be identified by science. And he also has a bad back leg, on his left, as he was limping as he came walking towards us. And as usual, he had a half empty, or perhaps half full bottle of liquor in his left hooves and he carried it with him where ever he went. Anyways, he came up to us, pretty much the opposite side where Toppy Hoppy came from, and so the other guys and I turned our attention to Hickey Prick, as well as Toppy Hoppy’s attention as well.
And so he came to us and he said in a low tone of voice, as he may or may not have had throat cancer and said like a crazy person in a fast pace, “Hmmm what you guys talk about hmmmm? I tell ya, if I had a bit for every time some kind of hooligans playing on the street, I’d be a a wealthy stallion I tell ya hmmmm? I tell ya, you damn kids and your fancy talk and your fancy technology better get off my lawn or I get my stick and beat you and your zebra friends over there yander hmmm? I tell ya back in my day we didn’t have what you wipper Snappers have today. All we had were sticks in the backyard, beating zebras if we ever saw them hmmmm? I tell ya, we need to get those damn zebras and hippogriffs out of this country or it’s going to go all down hill from there Hmmmm? Dagnabsonofaubitchacguntfuckbitchliekadagngabasonsofadbitchyoudlikesasfuckignfaggotdandsonfouabitchas”
And we then all just stared at him and said absolutely nothing and some of the guys just gave him wide eyes, which some of us, including me, just stared at him with our hopes in humanity…ponykind, whatever…destroyed.
And so Jack broke the few seconds of silence and said, “Get back to your garbage home you filthy son of a bitch.”
He had said it like a command, but I think he was trying to say an insult. It was kind of off with that insult, but hey I don’t blame him for trying. At least he tried…but anyways... And then one more pony that was a background resident came walking by and it was a Pegasus this time around and it was basically Stalia’s Derpy. In fact, the town wanted to be competitive with Ponyville to the point where the mayor ordered for a pony to be born and made in a test tube so they can have their own Derpy.
They tried to find a mentally retarded pony in town, but no one was perfect enough apparently. They couldn’t find their “Derpy”, so they had to Derpfy a fetus from a test tube grown in some science lab, mostly underground since its illegal, so they can have their own Derpy and so Stalia can say they have a Derpy. So this pony that came up to us was crafted and perfected to be the perfect “Derpy” for Stalia, as some ponies believe that Derpy over in Ponyville was also made in a lab.
I mean from what I’ve heard, it wasn’t a mistake that she got that lazy eye of hers, but there’s another conspiracy theory that she was just grown in a lab to piss of the ponies of Stalia. But whatever, so Stalia made their “Derpy” and his name is Ferpy or his legal name to cover up the fact that he was grown in a test tube Fitzy Boo. Retarded, I know, but they gave him a made up history and everything. Ferpy was born perfect and was well on his way to growing up a healthy pony. And potentially could have had the mind of a genius and be seen as a role model for future generations to come.
But then one day, he needed to get vaccinated if he was to go to pre-school. So his parents took him and as soon as he got vaccinated, he got autism. The parents were heartbroken by this so they just dropped him off over at the local orphanage near Hobo Ally and left and never looked back. And from there, he got dumber and dumber as the years went on to where his autism evolved into a new disease called Super Autism.
And once he turned the legal age, he was kicked out of the orphanage and the mayor felt bad for him so he was generous enough to give him a home and everything. So he tries to live a happy, fulfilled life as much as possible, assuming he can understand the concept of life itself. He has problems obviously, as he can’t do basic math, has problems with speech, and has a lazy eye and a little fucked up leg that’s bent backwards. Just one leg…his left foreleg. At least that’s the cover up story they gave him. Really they just got drunk in the lab one night and made him in twelve hours and ended up making a living organism that resembles a Pegasus. He can’t speak either as they forgot to make a full pony brain…instead they just gave him a half a brain and some spray cheese…literally.
And somehow that works and honestly no one can tell if he has intelligence or not because he can’t speak. But apparently the longer you’re around him, the better you can understand him and his “language”. Let’s just say Ferpy has a heart of gold, but we all know deep down inside he is just autistic…maybe… Anyways, Ferpy was a Pegasus that had a very dark grey coat color, with a medium length of a mane that was a darker yellow. He also had a lazy eye, and his cutie mark that was given to him was this: C₁₇H₃₅COONa.
It was literally just that so uhhh…there you go.
Anyways, Ferpy came flying like a retard from the clouds and looked down on us as if he was kind of god with a permanent retarded like smile on his face and once he landed on the ground sloppily, he yelled out, “Uhhhhduhhhwaaaaaa”
Obviously I didn’t understand what he was saying, I mean he wasn’t even looking at my direction.
He was looking up at the clouds. But Toppy Hoppy then said with a little chuckle in his voice, “Why yes Ferpy, we are talking the philosophy of where our existence lies. How did you know?”
Ferpy then responded with “Waaaaaaduhwaaasaaaa!”
Arrell then responded while having a little surprised look on his face, but with a little smile, “Wow…you must have some ears on you Ferpy.”
Ferpy then responded with, “Waa baa…”
And then another background resident came by, and another one, and another one, and...really just having those three attracted everyone in town to come to us as they too wanted to find out what the commotion was. And eventually we had everyone in town, even Doctor Wings was in the conversation even though he left mid-surgery so…he killed someone for sure that day.
Anyways, everyone surrounded us, and everyone was talking to each other, a huge crowed basically. And even the other guys were just talking to each other, on the subject if we are living on a flat earth or not. And as for me, I was having my head hang low, having a nasty, annoyed look in my eyes, while still holding my coffee of course, with a lot of cynicism going through my mind at that time.
And eventually I had enough and soon I raised my head and yelled out to everyone to get them to shut up, “THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! WE’RE GOING TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL! EVERYONE, GET INTO GROUPS, DO SCIENCE STUFF OR WHATEVER IT IS TO SEE IF YOU CAN FIND PROOF IF THE EARTH IS FLAT OR NOT! AND WHEN YOU ALL HAVE SOMETHING, WE’LL HAVE AN ANSWER…SO ALL OF YOU CAN GO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!”
Toppy Hoppy looked at me with a slight smile and he said to me as I gave him a stink eye look towards him, “Why, that’s a brilliant Idea there Knight. Let’s all get together in three groups and discover for ourselves if the world is flat.”
He then looked towards everyone else towards the town and he yelled a little, “Come now everypony! Let’s get a move on into three groups and find ourselves an answer to this mystery!”
He had said it too with enthusiasm and optimism, and everyone just went with it and moved out of our personal area and into three groups. And as usual, possibly by instinct, they went by race. So a group of Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. And Soon everyone went on their way to try and find proof if the Earth is flat.
As for the guys, they stood there and looked at me, with Arrell saying, “Well…that’s interesting…I CALL TEAM LEADER!”
Soon Arrell ran and tried to be the leader of the Pegasi team, all with wide eyes as he was in a bit of a hurry.
And right before he took from the ground, he yelled, “We’ll see if the Earth is really flat or not!”
And as for Forrest, he had a little sad look no his face and he said as he went after Arrell, “Wait for me!”
And so both Arrell and Forrest was gone.
And then as for Jack, he said to me as he walked towards the group of Unicorns, “Well somepony has to lead a group of retards.”
I then said to him as he walked by, still with a cynical look on my face, “You’ve only passed grade school with a D-.”
And then Jack then said to me, “I count that as enough experience to come up with mathematical proof that the Earth is flat.”
And so he walked off. And all that was left was Neon and Mac.
And so Mac led the charge with Neon for the Earth Pony team and said to Neon as they walked off, “Come on Neon. I bet you and I can find proof that Applejack is the reason why the earth is flat, and so we can find a way to fix it to being NON-FLAT!!!”
And Neon responded with simply, “I like pie.”
And they both walked away, so it was only wolf and I to judge if whether or not if the proof stands up. But of course Wolf was still passed out, so I took the remaining coffee that I had and quickly threw it over Wolf’s face.
As soon as the hot coffee touched Wolf’s face, he quickly sprung up and he said out loud, “What! Where! What!? I DIDN’T MEAN TO BOMB VIETNAM, I SWEAR! DON’T KILL ME!”
He had wide eyes too when he had said that, but as soon as he had woken up and a few seconds passed to let his mind let him know where he was at, his eyes mellowed out and he then said, “What going on?”
Wolf then looked towards me while I gave him a side glance, and asked me, “What’s happening right now?”
I then said to Wolf as I started to walk away, “We’re going to see if the earth is Flat or not.”
And as I was walking away, Wolf was still in place as he then asked, “Oh…can I still drink?”
I then said, “Whatever Wolf, I don’t care right now.”
And then Wolf said to me, “Sweet, I’m in then.”
He had a little smile and catched up to me and walked by my side as we walked around a bit to give the three groups sometime to try and come up with proof that the Earth was flat.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER
PEGASI
So we waited around a while, spent time fucking around outside on the grass, Wolf got some more liquor and held it in his paws, but once we felt like time was up, we left. And so Wolf and I headed out to the group where the Pegasi was at and to see what kind of proof that they had. They were all in the sky except for one background resident named Purple Flurry, just a random Pegasi that was purple and was a mare. She was hovering near the ground , watching the skies.
So I went up to her and asked her in an annoyed, bit given up on life look on my face, “So, you guys got anything?”
Purple looked towards me and said kindly, “I don’t know. But Arrell and Forrest should be back any minute now.”
And at the time, it was the speak of the devil as Arrell and Forrest, along with most of the Pegasi of the town of Stalia came flying back and towards us. And once they landed, Arrell and Forrest was right in front of me while every other Pegasi landed behind them wand was watching us talk.
I then asked Arrell and Forrest as soon as they landed, “So…got proof?”
Arrell then said to me with his eyes rolled back, “Well Forrest suggested flying to space, but it turns out our wings can only go up so far before we get too cold and we ran out of oxygen.”
Forrest then said with an embarrassing look on his face, “It was a good try wasn’t it?”
Arrell then said, “Yeah but…three ponies died.”
He had said it with a little said look on his face.
I then asked Arrell, “Does that even matter with us?”
Arrell then looked towards me with a blank expression, “No, it doesn’t.”
So I then asked them, “So, what did you ended up doing then?”
I had a raised eyebrow as I was curious. So Forrest then told me, “Well, after trying to get to space and having three ponies die on us, we decided to see if we could see the curvature of the earth. Because if it’s flat, then we can’t see a curve. And if it there is, then the earth isn’t flat…right?”
I then said, “I guess. So did ya?”
Forrest had said all of that with a smile, and still did then when he said to me, “Well no. We couldn’t.”
Arrell then said, “I told Forrest that just because you can’t see a curve doesn’t prove anything, but he won’t listen.”
Wolf then spoke up, while drinking a little, “That can be easily explained. You see…we just have a very low draw distance and that’s why you can’t see a curve…”
Arrell then had a confused look on his face and then asked, “Draw what now?”
I then said with me not caring about what was just said, “Well, that’s good enough for me. Let’s move on to the Unicorns.”
UNICORNS
So we then moved onto the unicorn group, and we walked to the center of town as that’s where they decided to set up at. And when we got there, they had a bunch of tables, some cardboard with pictures, a lot of science related stuff like test tubes and protractors and the like. It looked like they were trying to use mathematics to try and find their answer. No surprise since apparently the unicorns are seen as the scholars throughout Equestria. Anyways, Jack was the lead of the group, and he was near so we went up to him and we asked him as he was using his magic to look at some green stuff in a test tube.
Once he saw us coming, he put the test tube down and I asked him, “So…what are you looking at?”
I had said it with a raised eyebrow of course. And he just said to me, “I don’t know. I just told them to come up with some equation that proves that the Earth is flat.”
Even though I know it wouldn’t have been correct, I was still curious as to what equation they came up with.
So I then asked, “Well then, let’s see it.”
Jack then looked towards the rest of the unicorns behind him and yelled out, “Alright guys, show ‘em!”
And so he and a few other unicorns moved out of the way and made room to bring out a chalkboard with some writing on it. And as soon as the chalkboard was in view for me and Wolf, another background resident of Stalia, named Ocean Dusk, another mare, who had a dark blue coat color and the like. She then used her magic to pick up a stick and then pointed to the board and explained to me what the equation was.
Ocean then said to me, “So what we came up with is this. F of x, equals to the sunshine, plus flowers, minus the degrees of a circle, divided by the times a bird chirps, also divided by tree, plus the mass of a fat pony, having sex with a dog. And that dog then finds a mare and also has sex with that mare. And that mare also likes to get off to the sound of a filthy zebra. And then an evil griffin comes to eat a rabbit that holds the knowledge to the secrets of the world that we live, which equals to uhhh…uhhh…uhh…a flat earth?”
On the chalkboard, there was a bunch of drawings and a lot of scribbles. Half of what she had described wasn’t even on there and when she had said that last part like a question, she had an embarrassed look on her face with red cheeks as she tried not to make eye contact.
I then asked her, “Did you just make that up on the spot because you all did absolutely nothing?”
Ocean then said to me, with still an embarrassed look on her face, “Yeah…we did…”
I then said, “Good enough for me. Come on Wolf…on to the Earth Ponies.”
And as we left, Jacked yelled out to us, “THE UNICORNS ARE THE MASTER RACE!”
And I just simply said back, “I GET IT JACK!”
To be fair…the unicorns are the master race, gas the earth ponies…
EARTH PONIES
And so we wanted to get this stupid “mystery” over and done with as soon as possible, so we hi tailed it over to Mac’s farm, as apparently as that’s where they all decided to show up at according to Ferpy. Apparently Wolf can translate what Ferpy says when he’s drunk enough. And with that being said, we went to the farm, it was a bit of a walk, but we made it in due time. And once we did, all the Earth ponies were just scattered around, talking to each other, not seeming to be doing anything to find out if the Earth is flat or not.
So I went up to a random background resident named Moonlight Love, another mare, this time just being a red/pink-ish kind of coat color. I’m not so great with colors…I think it’s because these pony eyes have color blindness or something when it comes to stallions…or maybe I just have a really fuzzy memory.
Either way, it was like between a red and a pink color for the mare.
Anyways, I went up to Moonlight and asked her, as she was minding her own business, “What’s going on here? Did you guys find something or what?”
And Moonlight simply explained to me, in a little shy tone, “Uhhh…no. We thought we were…but our group leaders aren’t really doing anything.”
She then pointed with her right hoof over towards Neon and Mac who were standing side by side to each other. Neon was just sitting there on his ass, staring at the ponies. He had his mouth opened up every once and a while, and if I can guess, he was staring at all the other Earth Ponies…seeing them as his next potential victims. He was looking at them with blood lust eyes, waiting for the time for him to strike for the next soul for him to send to Neon Hell. And somewhere deep within his own psyche, it was simply sanity to him what he was thinking.
And as for Mac, he was intensely starring at a shiny red apple, not even blinking once. He looked serious about it too as he just gave a look similar to Fluttershy’s stare, but instead he was giving the red apple a stern look as he held it up with his left hoof up to his face, as if he was studying it and waiting for something to happen. So I headed over to Mac and Neon, who were standing apart from the group of the other Earth Ponies.
And as I was about to ask Mac what was going on, because Neon wasn’t going to be of any help, Mac sprang up with wide, surprised eyes and raised his right hoof with still the apple in place and said, “I’VE GOT THE ANSWER!”
He wasn’t saying it to anyone in particular, and I also had a bit of a surprised look on my face when he had said it out of nowhere.
And after he had said, I asked him while Neon continued to look hungrily at his next potential victims, “So what is the answer then Mac?”
Mac then said as he held the apple to me and pointed at it with his free of everyone and a while, “See this apple here Knight? This apple is the Earth. The earth is round as well. How you may ask? Because this apple is round. If this apple was flat, so would the Earth. But, the Earth is not flat because this apple as well as everything that revolves around this apple is not flat. If the Earth was flat, then gravity would be quite different, and Applejack wouldn’t be such a bitch. And so, that means that Earth is an Apple.”
Mac then threw the apple away behind him, sat on his pony ass, crossed his forearms in front of him, and closed his eyes with a smug look on his face and said to me, “There is your proof Knight.”
He had sat there with a smug look, thinking he had found the answer and he was a genius and was better than Applejack somehow.
I would have a comment on how retarded that logic was, but I just couldn’t give a fuck anymore so I just simply said, as Mac just opened one eyes and was a bit confused, “Alright...we’re getting nowhere obviously. This was a bad idea obviously and a huge waste of time. If no one is going to find a definitive answer, then there is only one more thing that we can do to find the answer.”
And Mac then asked me, with a curious look with his both of his eyes opened, “What is it?”
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER
So I was in the park of Stalia, sitting my pony ass down on the dirt floor that is the earth, across from another background resident of Stalia named Athy Est, who was a stallion, with a dark brown coat, a grey, wavy mane, and a pair of glasses. As well as a cutie mark that was a picture of an atomic whirl. And he had a smug look on his face, had confidence as we both looked down on the table that had a chess board on it.
And I simply had my right hoof, rubbing under my pony chin, thinking of my next move, while Athy Est didn’t say anything. It was just complete silence between the two of us.
Until of course the entire town of Stalia was behind me and soon Arrell came up to me and asked with a confused, but curious look on his face, “What are you doing?”
I then simple stated to him, “Quite Arrell, I’m trying to concentrate here. Depending on the outcome of this game, we will get our answer if the earth is flat.”
And then Arrell said as he turned around to head back with everyone else, “Alright then Knight. Uhhh…I’ll be with everypony else when you’re done.”
I then waved him off, even though he was going already, but...you know…couldn’t see that when my eyes were concentrated on the chess board. Anyways, I was thinking of my next move to make, as the move was a critical one. It would make it or break it, and Athy Est was just simply starring at me with smug looking eyes, thinking he was kind of smart hotshot, thinking he had beaten me…but then…I made my final move on him. and moved my white queen to H5.
And then I said to my opponent, “Checkmate Athy Est.”
He then had a sad and disappointed look on his face and made a little whimper sound as well.
And as he was being a little bitch sore loser, I got up from the ground and headed back to the rest of the town and yelled out to them, “ALRIGHT GUYS, THE EARTH IS FLAT! IT’S OFFICAL!”
And that was it…end of that little event that happened…the end…
The Corona Shorts: Corona Virus Comes To Equestria
Well, it looks like I’m doing another one of these. Wolf has me by the balls when it comes to these shorts, if you know what I’m saying. Not in a gay way, just that he has me pinned down. Of course not in a gay way, he is just forcing me to…you know what, never mind. So I have to write another one of these “shorts” so here it goes I guess. So what else is there to write about? Hhmmm…The Ghost stuff? No…no no no, not yet…those are too precious to be seen by the likes of you people…uhhhh…hmmmm…maybe the fly?
No, not yet, you people are not ready for such a thing yet…and when I mean by you people, I mean the Asians. And maybe the Jews…which by the way, I know I can’t hear your response because this is just me writing in a journal that will theoretically be picked up by someone in the future once I throw it into the abyss or some shit like that but uhhh…can you Jews kindly please stop counting my sheckles. That would greeeeeaaaaat…thaaaaaaaanks. Anyways, what should I write about that doesn’t matter much anymore…what can I look through the portals and see?
Oh I know… hold on, let me clear my mind. Alright, settle down one and all, for I have a story to tell you all. I have a tale between a father and his two daughters. A father that had ambition and wanted it all for him and his family, but was too self-centered for his own good and let his ambitions blind him for what really mattered in his life. Yes, that is correct assumingly you guessed it right as to who I am referring to… the Corona Virus and his two daughters Ebola Chan and Corona Chan.
Or just his short name, The Corona, Corona Virus is his father’s name and Novel Covid-19 is his full legal name. So where do we begin here? Ah, well let’s start back on Earth, My Earth or was that an alternate universe Earth? Doesn’t matter, it’s all the same shit if they both fucking suck, am I right? No…ok, moving on here. So we start in an ordinary neighborhood in the suburbs in a normal, calming, house at night.
The house itself is your average two story house, painted white, and has no problems with it. It is an average, family sized house that any family would buy…assuming their credit rating is good, otherwise they have no other choice but to live out on the street with the rest of the poor people…and when I mean by poor people, I mean the blacks.
Well, assuming there is no room left in the hood. Anyways the house was occupied by a three person family, of course filled with white people, and a pet dog. The father was asleep, and throughout the house, all the lights were off except for two bed rooms. The parent’s bed room and the kid’s bed room. And in the kid’s bed room was pretty much your average child’s bed room that was fit for a six year old. The room was painted a sort of dark-ish blue, sort of like a dark light blue you could say. There were toys in the toy box, a desk with the globe sitting on it. There was a bed sitting in the corner of the room, with a night stand right next to it with a little lamp.
And that lamp was on and shining bright to illuminate the corner of the room. And in the bed was a little boy who had brown, short hair, and a little look of worry upon his face. And right next to him was his mother who had the curves to her female body and long lustful hair, but with a calming and motherly look on her face. She was tucking in her little baby into bed, covering up and pulling the covers over her son.
And as she finished securing her boy into the bed, the little boy looked up with worry and anxiety to his mother and asked her, “Mommy, I’m sacred.”
The mother gave a warm smile and thought it was cute that he was scarred, and she said with a warm tone in her voice to him, “And why is that sweetie?”
The little boy then said to her, “I’m scared that the Corona Virus is going to come out of my closet and get me while I’m sleeping.”
The mother could only help but giggle a little and looked calmly to her child while trying to comfort his fears and said to him, “Don’t be silly son, there’s no such thing as a Corona Virus.”
But the son was still scarred and he continued to remain worried. So he said to his mother while sitting up a little bit in his bed, “But mommy…”
However, he was soon cut off as his mother gently laid her hand on his chest and pushed him back down into his bed as she said to him, “There is nothing in your closet that will come out and get you. The only thing you need to fear are the Jews. Now get some sleep, you have school in the morning.”
However, the little boy still wasn’t convinced, so he had said, “But…”
But he was cut off once again as the mother was walking away as she said to him, “I’ll leave the lamp on as a little night light for you. Goodnight and try to have sweet dreams”
She had given one last look to her son as she gave a warm and comforting smile towards him right before she turned around completely and left the room. As soon as she had left, the boy was still scarred regardless of his mother’s advice. But he tried to remain calm within his own mind, so he decided to try and not to worry about such fears getting to him.
And soon, as he was looking around his empty room, he soon started to close his eyes and drift off into dreamland soundly, knowing that his mother was probably right. Until there was a little squeaking noise that from his door happened that is. Once he heard the slight noise, his eyes jumped open wide and took a quick look around the room. And then the noise happened again, and the little boy immediately sat up in his bed. However, the boy thought about it real quick and concluded that the noise had came from his closet. So he looked forward, as that is where the closet was at, and stared at it, thinking of all the kinds of monsters that could have been there.
Yet, he wasn’t sure if it was just all in his head or not, so he took a little gulp and asked it out loud a little bit, “Hello?”
And then after a few seconds of silence of no answer, a little big ball that was a sort of a color between a peach and a pink that was big as an adult human being and covered with spikes took a little peek out of the closet.
And once the little boy saw this, he screamed out loud, “AH! IT’S THE CORONA VIRUS! HE’S COME TO GET ME!”
And as soon as the little boy yelled that out loud as he could, The Corona simply slipped back into the closet almost as if he was never there to begin with. As for the little boy, he jumped out of bed and ran straight for his parent’s room down the hall to tell them of the scary Corona that was in his closet. And so as soon as the little boy left the room, the Corona was pleased by this as he continued to hide amongst the little boy’s clothes. And soon he started to speak to himself, and whenever he talked, his entire body glowed.
Another thing about the Corona was that he didn’t have legs, rather, he was just floating there with nothing beneath him, but it only meant that he couldn’t fly. He was still grounded in a sense. And whenever he talked, he had the voice that was high pitched, but was male, since he was a he after all, go figure. But it was that kind of high pitched, sort of like The Monarch you could say, but not quite, but that is what his voice sounded like in a way.
Well anyways, the little boy was out of his room, telling his parents on him, but the Corona felt confident about his actions, as he said to himself, “That fool! Thinking he can go get his parents to come and save him. Well think again kiddo, I’m here, right now! And soon you’ll be under my control as my slave! And as soon as I get you, I’ll get your parents! AND SOON THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL BE UNDER MY CONTROL AND EVERY HUMAN BEING SHALL BE MY SLAVE! I SHALL HAVE THEM BUILD PYRAMIDS IN MY IMAGE! THEY SHALL WORSHIP ME AS THEIR GOD, AND THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE MINE IN WORD DOMINATION! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
He had laughed at the last part of what he had said to himself as an evil laugh like a corny villain. His heart was set on world domination after all. However, that was short lived as he was caught…
30 MINUTES LATER OUTSIDE THE HOUSE…
And so the Corona’s plans were foiled and he was outside of the house. The police arrived as the parents found the Corona in their son’s closet, and boy’s parents were pissed off by that. And so they called 911, and the police had came as soon as they could. And no more than thirty minutes later, two police officers, one black, one white, dragged him out of the little boy’s closet, and out to their car where they had him over the hood of their vehicle. As the flashing lights of red and blue filled the air, the parents were watching as the two police officers were talking to the Corona, and all were not happy at all.
Especially the parents who had extremely pissed off looks off their face, while the police were just determined to put the Corona away in jail for the night.
The Corona was talking to the two officers and he said, “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG GUY!”
The white police officer then said to the Corona, “Sir, you were seen hiding in their son’s closet, you were caught red handed their buddy.”
The Corona then responded to the two officers, “BUT IM NOT A CRIMINAL…I’M PART OF THEIR FAMILY! RIGHT GUYS!?”
He was referring to the family of three, and had metaphorically looked over to them for an answer, since the Corona didn’t have any eyes…or a mouth or a nose for that matter, but whatever.
The Family however wasn’t in the mood for his games and the father simple said while in his pajamas, “YOU WERE IN MY SON’S CLOSET WATCHING HIM SLEEP YOU SICK CHILD MOLESTER!” The Corona could only respond and he yelled out loud, “BUT I’M NOT A CHILD MOLESTOR! I DON’T SWING THAT WAY! I’M NOT THAT KIND OF GUY! HONEST! I WAS ONLY TRYING TO INFECT HIM!”
And then the white police officer then asked the Corona, “And how were you going to infect him sir?”
And then the Corona then simply stated, “BY TOUCHING HIM OF COURSE.”
After he had said that, the parents just shook their heads in disgust while the little boy started to cry in his mother’s arms.
The Corona then asked out loud, “WHAT!? WHAT DID I SAY!?”
The white police officer then just simply shook his head and said to him, “Looks like you just dug your own grave.”
And then the black police officer yelled at him, “Your kind makes me sick!”
And then the black police officer took out his baton and whacked him really hard with it, somewhat knocking him out.
LATER AT THE JAIL HOUSE…
The Corona was then put behind bars. He was in a big empty room with many others at the time, mostly hobos and drug addicts, and they didn’t pay any mind to the Corona either. They just minded their own business, however, the Corona did have a little black spot towards the top, symbolizing where the black officer hit him at.
So the corona was standing near the bars, hoping and wondering if he’ll get out.
However, soon the white police officer from before came walking by with the keys and he said with a calm face as he went towards the door’s lock, “Looks like you made bail. If it was up to me, you and your kind would be put down by being burned alive.”
As the white police officer was opening the door to let him out, the corona then yelled out, “BUT I’M NOT A PEDOPHILE!”
And the white police officer only said to him, “Whatever you say pal…whatever you say.”
He could only have a look of disappointment on his face, but that kind of disappointment where you’ve seen it too many times and you just want to get the day over with already. So the Corona was let out and he was escorted to the waiting area where who paid his bail at was waiting for him. So he walked through the waiting area door and to his surprise, he found his ex-wife and her new husband Chad waiting for him.
And his ex-wife, Linda, was not happy at all and had a mix of a disappointed and pissed of look on her face. Linda was pretty much your average woman, she had her hair in a ponytail, was sort of a blonde, had good looks, was middle aged, and kept up a decent figure for her age.
And she was wearing casual clothing that was red with a pair of mom blue jeans, if that makes any sense. As for her new husband Chad, he was literally just a bottle of Corona that was the size of a human being. He wore a jacket though.
And so as the Corona saw this, he said to them, but sort of to himself a little bit, “So, I guess you’re the ones who paid my bail?”
Linda then said as she had her arms crossed and asked, “How could you do this Corona? You know you still have to take care of your daughters!”
The Corona then said “I know that! What do you think I was doing last night, I was trying to work! Also “HI” Linda, nice to see you again. How about how was jail last night? Are you ok? Did they hurt you? Do you need a lawyer so you can sue the police force? Also “HI” Chad.”
Chad could only say to Corona, “Hi sport! How’s it been?”
Linda then said to the Corona while pointing at him with one hand on her hip, “Don’t change the subject! You promised that you would be better than this and that you would get an actual job to take care of your daughters!”
The Corona then said to her, “I am doing that Linda! I’ve got a job that’s paying the bills and taking care of our daughter and your illegitimate child.”
Linda however then snapped at the Corona and said, “Trying to take over the world isn’t a job Corona! I meant you getting a simple office job like you promised. Even Chad was willing to help get you one and you refused! You are so frustrating and so stubborn and hot headed! I can’t even!”
The Corona then simply responded with, “Well I’m doing the best that I can! Trying to take over the world isn’t easy you know?”
Linda however then said to Corona, “Well your best isn’t enough! You’re not setting a good example to your kids!”
The Corona then said, but more in a relaxed and calm tone this time, “Oh Linda, why did we ever split up to begin with? Your fierceness is what drove me wild about you! Oh baby, can we ever try again and…make it work this time?”
Linda however was still furious and she continued to point her finger at him and she said towards him, “I gave you enough chances Corona! I’m with Chad now and he’s been a better husband than you ever could!”
Chad then said with a happy and gleeful tone in his voice, “That’s right sport!”
The Corona however then said to Linda, “Well whatever. Just don’t forget I still have the girls this week!”
Linda however then said, “Oh I know Corona. I’m been talking to my lawyer recently and she said that I can take full custody of them after what you did last night.”
The Corona then seemed surprised by this news and he said, “What!? W-What does that mean!?”
Linda then said to him, “It means you’re never going to see your children ever again Corona! By next week, they’ll be moving in with me and Chad, and you can forget ever seeing them again because I’ll get a restraining order from the judge! So you better spend the time with them that you have left with them!”
The Corona then shimmered down a bit and he then said to Linda, “Come on Honey…sweetie, baby…let’s be rational about this now.”
Linda however wasn’t having any of it and then simply turned around with Chad and said as they walking out the door to him, “Goodbye Corona!”
And as soon as the two left the building, the Corona then said to them, “WELL FINE! FUCK YOU TOO YOU TWO TIMING SLUT! YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! I KNOW YOU WENT BEHIND MY BACK WHEN I WAS ON THAT BUSINESS TRIP THAT ONE TIME WITH THE NEIGHBOR! I INSTALLED CAMERAS IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING WHORE! AND I DON’T CARE WHAT THAT JUDGE SAYS! I’LL WIPE MY FUCKING ASS WITH YOUR RESTRAINING ORDER YOU BITCH! YOU HEAR ME!? I’M KEEPING MY KIDS! YOU HEAER THAT PART!? MY KIDS, BECAUSE THEY BELONG TO ME AND TO A GOOD FATHER AND NOT TO A TWO TIMING WHORE SLUT BITCH!”
LATER THAT EVENING…
It was soon later in the day, the Corona simply retired back to his home with disappointing new that his ex-wife could get an order from the judge that he would lose full custody of his kids. As to where the Corona was staying at, well it was the east side of the city at a shitty, rundown apartment complex. It was dirty and filthy in every nook and cranny.
But it was all that Corona could afford, and even so, he was behind many bill payments, almost to the point of being evicted. The only thing keeping a roof over his head was that the landlord owed him a favor after he did a little side business for him, so he got a place to stay for free. But everything else was threatened to be taken away if he didn’t find the money in time.
So the Corona entered his rundown apartment building, walked up three flights of stairs while being tired and a little hung over, and went to the third floor, where he walked down past some of his neighbor’s doors and finally entered apartment number 331. As he got the keys out, with no arms I mind you, he put the key into the keyhole and had to shimmy it a bit since it was sort of jammed. However after a little struggle, he finally got the lock unlocked and he entered his living quarters.
His apartment was as filthy as the building itself. The kitchen and the living room intertwined with each other, with there only being a small closet, a small separate bed room, and a small bathroom, all filthy in every aspect of it. There were some rats living in the walls, with the living room couch being pulled out to make a bed, as that is where the two daughters had so sleep at while the Corona got the other bedroom.
Not that it was any better. There were two TV’s however, but both were the old, analog style with the two bunny ear antennas. Surprisingly it still worked in the digital age, just barely however. As for the kitchen, there were pots and pans stacked up, dirty and unwashed in the sink, a fridge that barley kept anything cold with a burnt out light, and an oven that would turn on for thirty minutes and then turn off.
There was even an empty space where a dish washer used to be, but instead it was home to some rats and roaches. And in the middle of the kitchen was a small dinner table with two wooden chairs. The Corona had two daughters, one named Corona Chan and the other Ebola Chan, or as that is what he liked to call them. Really, their real names were あいか and Amanda.
Corona Chan was Linda’s illegitimate child of course, but she had loved her anyways regardless if the Corona had cheated on her that one time while he was in Japan. Long story short, the Corona found a Japanese prostitute one lonely night, paid her, and nine months later, she had a baby. The hooker thought she would have a husband out of the Corona, but really in the end he just killed her, but took the daughter in anyways.
Corona Chan wore a traditional Chinese style red dress with some Chinese lettering on it. She had brown hair, with two little puff balls on the sides, whatever those are called, hey, I am not one of those “Females” you people speak of…so don’t blame me. Besides, it’s different here on the other side so…whatever. Anyways, she also had a pair of red high heels to go with the Chinese dress and had green eyes as well.
And for the costume, since this is what the Corona wanted her to wear, was a pair of bat wings made out of cardboard, so it made it look like she was some kind of human, bat hybrid. As for Ebola Chan, she had blonde hair just like her mother, had blue eyes, wore what almost looked like a white nurse outfit, with the little hat on her head. She had pigtails pretty much that extended a little longer than what you would usually see.
And at the ends of those pigtails was colored sort of a peach color, as the Corona wanted it to make it look like it was Ebola, but Ebola Chan was a little restrictive about that idea. She also too was forced to wear a pair of bat wings that was made out of cardboard, but the difference here compared to her sister was that Corona Chan had black colored bat wings while Ebola Chan had a light dark colored pair of bat wings.
And she too wore a pair of high hells to go with the costume that their father gave them. When the Corona came back, tried and dazed, Corona Chan was sitting at the table, looking a little worried about her father while Ebola Chan was on the pull out bed from the couch, laying down and texting her friends from school. Ebola Chan was a little spiteful towards her father while Corona Chan adored her father, and was eager to see him again.
When the Corona entered the apartment, Corona Chan looked up and had a big, hopeful, wishful eyes that glittered a bit, and as soon as she saw her father, she had a big smile of hope filled her face. She immediately got up from the table and ran towards her father and hugged him.
She was so happy and filled with glee; she said out loud to her father that even the next door neighbors could hear her scream, “ああ、パパ、私はあなたがとても恋しいです！またお会いできてうれしいです！”
The Corona then simply said in a low and tired tone, “Yes yes my dear, I missed you too. Where’s your sister at? It doesn’t appear she seems to be here right now. All I see is a stranger living in our wonderful and happy home right on her bed.”
Ebola Chan, who was busy looking at her phone and didn’t want to give eye contact to her father due to her spitefulness towards him, said to him, “Oh ha ha dad. I get it, I’m that stranger.”
She had said it in a sarcastic tone of voice. The Corona however wasn’t happy about her response and so he pushed Corona Chan aside gently and moved towards into the apartment while Corona Chan closed the door behind them.
The Corona then said to Ebola Chan, “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice young lady. I am your father!”
Ebola Chan, who continued to look on her phone, said to the Corona, “You’re a dead beat loser, that’s what you are.”
That just tipped the Corona off and he said loud, “I AM YOUR FATHER AND I AM TO BE RESPECTED AS…”
He then cut himself off and he then calmed down a little bit quickly and said to Ebola Chan, “Let’s not talk about this right now pumpkin. Daddy has had a long night and isn’t in the mood to discuss this with you right now.”
Then Corona Chan, who had both her hands together almost as if she was pleading with someone and had a worried look on her face, as she was still near the door to the apartment, asked her father in a high pitched voice, “親愛なる父よ、昨夜あなたはどうなりましたか？あなたが言ったように、なぜあなたは家に帰らなかったのですか？”
The Corona, sort of turned around…and looked at Corona Chan and said, “Why thank you for asking sweetie…UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE HOLD!”
The Corona had targeted that last statement towards Ebola Chan and sort of looked at her…despite having no eyes.
However, all Ebola Chan said while she continued to look and text on her phone with a disgruntled look on her face, “This isn’t even a house, it’s a run downed apartment.”
However, the Corona ignored that statement and continued to talk to Corona Chan about his adventures.
So the Corona said to Corona Chan, and technically to Ebola Chan at the same time, “Well I had plans of world domination, as you know. And like always, my plans always include you two being by my side to help rule the world with daddy when the day comes, and of course it was going to start small. I had found the perfect patient to start my plans of taking over the world. It seemed like a perfect idea too. So I went to his school, waited out in a dirty white van that I rented for a few hours from some guy from Craig’s list, and waited till he got out of school. I was going to offer him some candy if he complied willingly and got into the van, but his father was there to pick him up before I had gotten the chance.”
Corona Chan then said with a bit of an angry look on her face, “あの豚！”
The Corona then said, “I know, the nerve of some people! Anyways, after that plan failed, I went ahead and went with the backup plan, which was to break into the little boy’s house, and wait in his closet. And right when he fell asleep, I would have touched him and he would have become one of my slaves. And then at school, he would lead me to the other kids, and then I would touch those kids! And Soon as I touched all the kids in the world, they would be under my control and my slaves! And soon, the parents would be forced to become my slaves as well, or else their precious children would be mine forever, but that’s to trick them of course.
‘And then, everyone would be under my control. And I know what you’re asking, what about the incels? Well, no matter, I had a plan for that as well. I would have sent you two to seduce them and infect them with the STD’s! Or as the long version of it goes, Strands, Tylenol, and Denny’s! And then, the world would be ours. And as a little bonus, I would be able to execute Chad and Linda would have to come back to me then!”
Corona Chan then put her hands together like before and had a smile upon her face with glitter in her eyes as she said out loud, “それは素晴らしい計画パパのようにすすりました！”
The Corona however then said in a disappointing tone to Corona Chan, “I know…but it failed. So now I have to come up with a new plan for world domination instead. But have no fears, your father will come up with something that will really work this time!”
Ebola Chan however finally put her phone down and looked at her father and said, “You say that every time dad and it never works.”
She had even said it with rolling her eyes back as well.
However, the Corona wasn’t happy with this statement, and he simply replied to her with, “You starting to sound just like your mother.”
Ebola Chan then said to him, “I wish I was. I wish I was living with her and Chad right now instead of with you!”
The Corona then said to her, “Take that back…”
However, Ebola Chan then said, “I won’t! Ever since you and mom split up, my life has been ruined!”
She started to have a little sad face form as she had said that, but still equally pissed off.
However, the Corona wasn’t in the mood for this, so he then said, “I don’t have time to deal with this right now. I’ve got a headache. I’m going to go take some aspirin and lay down for a bit. You two do whatever girls do nowadays or something.”
And so the Corona started to head down the hall and towards the bathroom, as he said quietly to himself, “What am I going to do?”
However, something stopped him in his tracks. Something quite big that surprised him as well. It was a portal...a portal that was opened up and lead right here into Equestria. And the Corona just stopped and stared at it for a few seconds.
And after a few seconds had passed, he then asked his two daughters, while still looking at the portal, “Girls, were you two playing with my magical objects that I got from a weird Chinese guy down the street again?”
As Corona Chan and Ebola Chan got up to see what the Corona was talking about in the hallway, Corona Chan with a curious face on said to the corona, “まったくパパではありません。私は自分で遊んで忙しすぎました...”
And so all three saw the portal and they starred at it, with the two daughters awaiting a response from their father. As for what the portal showed, it was basically the outskirts of Stalia somewhat, the grassy fields and hills towards the Everfree Free Forest pretty much. It was a bright and clear day with the sun shining out and all was calm and shit. And so the Corona looked at it, and soon something hit is mind.
He then said to himself, “This looks like a portal to another world…perhaps another realm or universe even! This could solve my problems…maybe even all of our problems indeed.”
The Corona then turned to his two daughters and he said to them, “All right then! New Plan! We’re going to go…wherever that place is…and taking it over and enslaving whoever lives there!”
Ebola Chan then said with some cynicism in her voice, “Are you serious right now dad?”
However, the Corona then said to her as he got a little bit closer towards Ebola Chan, “Yes I am serious!”
The Corona then took a little step back and he then continued to say to his two daughters, “look, I know it’s been tough lately. I haven’t been paying the bills; we haven’t been grocery shopping in months. Your mom hates me and prefers that “Chad” guy compared to a hunk like me, and my plans have been failing every time. And I may or may not have to register as a sex offender in the near future, that court date is still pending. But this new world…new universe is our chance at a new life, a fresh start! And a chance to get away from your mother and to finaly succeed in our plans of world domination! So please daughters, join me, by my side, and we shall rule together as father and daughter!”
Corona Chan started to have a tear flow down from her eyes and across her rosy cheeks and she said as she again held her hands together like before, “パパ、これらはあなたが私たちに言った最も甘い言葉でした。”
However, Ebola Chan raised one of her eyebrows and pointed her finger towards the Corona while still holding on her phone, “Our plans? You mean your plans?”
However, the Corona ignored the intent of that statement and said, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
And so the Corona turned around…somehow…and looked into the portal and said, “It’s time for world domination!”
Corona Chan then followed her father by jumping in the air, with one arm high up in the air, while the other lower than the other arm while smiling and yelling, “世界支配！”
And as for Ebola Chan, she rolled hers eyes back again with cynicism in her voice and said, “I guess I’ll go too.”
And she put her phone away and then waited for the Corona to make the first move. So, the Corona took a few seconds to take it all in, and went through the portal, with the two daughter following suit. And once they stepped through, the portal closed behind them, and the two were in Equestria.
EQUESTRIA...
So the three were in Equestria, with the two daughters being in pony form while the Corona didn’t change at all. Obviously the two daughters were sort of following the rules of the universes in a way, but the Corona was sort of breaking the rules, but that’s to be expected since the Corona was just a floating ball with spikes…just like the virus counterpart I suppose. But enough of that, what about the two daughters you might ask. Well, the two daughter’s appearances were pretty much the same.
The same clothes, shoes, and hair style. The only differences were their coat color and cutie marks. Corona Chan had a coat color of a golden yellow color, with a cutie mark picture of, you guessed it, two corona viruses, sort of like her two puff balls in her hair. With Ebola Chan, she had a coat color of a light pink, with a cutie mark picture of you guessed it again, wow; you’re good at this game, two ebolas. Aside from those differences, they were mostly the same, just in pony form.
With the Corona, he didn’t mind the change of scenery, as they entered, as I said before, the outskirts of Stalia. The grassy hills near the edge of the Everfree Forest pretty much. However, with the two daughters, they were a bit unease.
With Corona Chan, she immediately looked at herself, while trying to comprehend the changes, and she said, “私はポニーです！”
As for the other daughter, she was a little bit freaked out about the new appearance. She had wide eyes and she looked from top to bottom of her new look, but yet, she never said a word. As for the Corona, he simply sniffed the new fresh air, somehow… and took it all in. He looked up towards the sky to see the birds singing and see the fluffy clouds floating in the sky. He then looked all around him to just savor the moment.
And after about a minute of two of appreciating the view, the Corona finally broke the silence and said, “Ahhh…this is it girls! This shall be our new home from now on! Forget taking over the old world and enslaving the human race. The new plan shall be to take over this world and enslave it’s people!! HA HA HA HA HA! Ha….do uhhh…do people exist here in this world?”
As he was saying this, his two daughters looked over towards him, with a little bit of worried looks on their faces, but in the end, they both kept silent and rolled with it. However, after the Corona was done speaking, he finally, somehow… turned around and took a good look at his daughters.
As he was, Corona Chan and Ebola Chan were still a bit worried about their appearances. They weren’t sure what was happening; let alone what was going to happen next.
But their father the Corona didn’t seem to mind, because once after he checked his daughters out, he said to them, “Hey girls, love the new look. It really fits you. Not so sure about the whole pony look though, marketing suggests that it doesn’t go so well with the world domination look. But to each their own I suppose.”
The Corona then turned back around to the view he was looking at before, and said to himself, “Right! So…we just need to find whoever inhabits this world and get them to help us since we’re foreigners to this place. Hopefully they don’t mind us illegal aliens; I don’t want it to happen again like that incident with ICE that one time. So many died that day…. SO GIRLS! Help me find someone, will ya?”
And as soon as he had said that command, Forrest was flying nearby high in the sky, with a little smile on his face, doing…Pegasus things. I don’t know what the Pegasi do; all I know is that the Unicorn is the master race. Anyways, Forrest was minding his own business, flying around like it was nothing in the sky nearby, and the Corona saw this.
The Corona, instead of freaking out that it’s a pony, seemed to be a bit happy as he said to himself, “Well speak of the devil. It appears we found someone.”
He yelled out as loud as he could since Forrest was high up in the clouds after all, “HEY YOU…WATEVER YOU ARE! COME DOWN HERE! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!”
Forrest heard the screaming and his look on his face went from a happy and overjoyed look to a curious look on his face in a fraction of a second. He also had wide eyes once his eyes saw the three standing out on the grassy fields. And so he went towards them as soon as he saw them and heard the Corona’s request to come visit him. And soon, he flew down with ease and landed gently on to the grass.
And once he landed, he took a good look at them, but since they didn’t seem threatening at first glance, his mind made up that they must have been friendly and they wanted to ask him about something. Perhaps directions or where they are at. Either way, he was happy to help them with whatever needed and desired…almost anything I should say.
So, that curious look that he had on his face quickly went into a friendly one, a welcoming smile and all, and he then said to the Corona, “Hi there, you new around here?”
The Corona then cut off Forrest and said to him, “SILENCE! I need you to help me with something.”
Forrest was taken aback a bit with his loud command for him to be quiet, and his smile quickly disappeared and turned into a disappointing one with wide eyes, but then it went into a curious look with one his eyebrows being raised.
So, after the Corona spoke to him, Forrest asked him, “Wh-What do you need help with?”
The Corona then said, “Yes well…you see, we’re new here, and we have traveled a great length to get here. And we have decided, the three of us, that we would like to take over this world and I shall be its supreme ruler and enslave all of your kind…which is…”
Forrest then said, while still having a curious, but increasingly worried look on his face at what the Corona was saying to him, “…ponies…”
After Forrest had finished the Corona’s sentence, he continued to say, “Right, right, ponies. Once I enslave all the ponies here, I shall have my conquest of world domination completed. And all shall bow down to me. And if you help me with it, I shall make you my general and you can command my million pony army. And you will be known as Fifth Chan!”
Forrest was taken aback by this, with his eyes wondering around while he backed up a bit, while the Corona was sort of getting closer to his personal space while talking to him. He was worried with what was going to happen, but as usual, like the weakling that Forrest is, he kind of stumbled and mumbled about the idea and didn’t know what to do or say.
So Forrest simply said to the Corona, “Uhhhhhhh….”
As Forrest was showing signs of being unsure about what the Corona was offering him, the Corona got a bit more closer to Forrest’s face and said to him in a lower tone of voice, “If you’re help me, I’ll make you a rich pony. I’ll give you one million pieces of toilet paper if you know what I’m saying. Wink wink…”
The Corona backed up a bit, as Forrest eased up a bit with his muscles, but his eyes was still wondering around, a little bit rolled back, as he remained unsure and continued to say, “uhhhh….”
However, his eyes quickly went back to the Corona and he then asked him with an innocent look in his eyes, “Do I have to?”
The Corona then jumped up a bit and yelled out towards him, “NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE! DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?”
Forrest was scarred as his back leaned a bit backwards when the Corona told him this and yelled it out towards him.
And his wide eyes showed it that he was afraid of the Corona, so he then softly said after the Corona was done speaking, “No.”
And after Forrest gave a little whimper from his little ‘No’, he went back to normal a little bit while the Corona then simply said to him, “Good, we’ve got that all cleared up. NOW YOUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS TO LEAD ME TO A PONY THAT I CAN ENSLAVE NEXT! NOW!!”
Forrest was scared by this, but he didn't say anything as he did what he was told.
And after the Corona yelled his command to Forrest, Corona Chan then jumped up in the air with still glitter eyes and a happy smile and said, “わーい！世界支配は私たちのものです！”
LATER ON AT KNIGHT’S HOUSE…
And yes, we get to me…kind of… Basically saying, Forrest didn’t know what to do or what the Corona was specifically asking for, and what I later found out was that Forrest thought he could take his problems to me and that I can fix it for him. Well that son of a bitch thought wrong but whatever. Forrest led them to my library home, and was at the front door, which was unlocked at the time, Wolf does that sometimes… I tell him to close the door and lock it, but it happens. At least there isn’t a zombie apocalypse or else we would be screwed, am I right?
Anyways, they were at my front door, and Forrest was done explaining to them that this would be a decent start for the three.
So the Corona asked Forrest, “So are you sure this is where I can start my world domination?”
Forrest, with a worried and a little bit of a scared look on his face, nodded his head in silence, as he was a bit afraid of the Corona, pussy. And so, the Coronas went to my front door, opened it, and went inside my living room.
If I understand correctly, the Corona wanted to start his world domination by commanding some of the ponies, as he thought they were a bit weak. The virus I suppose came later. So the Corona entered my living room area. I was doing something in the kitchen I think…or was that the library room, whatever.
Wolf on the other hand was in the recliner chair, reading the local newspaper with both of his paws. Trust me; Wolf got the hang of it by that time. And he was keeping his balance with his two back legs and shit. So the Corona saw this, and saw it as the only one for at the time, and went up towards him.
He noticed that Wolf was reading a newspaper, but he didn’t care, as he continued to speak up anyways.
The Corona said to Wolf, “You there vile creature! I am here to take over your world and it will never be the same ever again as you know it. So I demand you and anyone else here that you follow my orders and round up everyone else and be my slave this instant! And if you refuse, I will kill your first born child by suffocating him while he sleeps! I will destroy everything that you ever now and loved, and will burn you all alive in a fire of fury, from my wrath!”
And after that, nothing. No response from Wolf, just pure and utter silence between the two. But after a few seconds of the pure silence however, Wolf slowly put the newspaper down a little bit to show his face to the Corona, with an unamused look. He took a good look at him as the Corona just watched, and after a few seconds of looking at him, Wolf just slowly raised his newspaper back up.
After which, he then yelled out to me and said, “Kniiiiight! There’s a bug in the house”
I then came from whatever I was doing with a can of GAS! Bug spray in my right hoof, with also an unamused, mellowed out look on my face, as I got near the Corona. And if you don’t know the GAS! thing, it’s a bug spray from Earth, that later got manufactured in Equestria in a business tie up, thing, long story, some other time.
So, once I got close to the Corona, I said to Wolf, “I see it!”
After that, I took a quick second look at the “bug” and said to myself, “Ew…that’s one big ugly bug.”
And so I shook the can of GAS! and started to spray it on the Corona. An after a few seconds of spraying noises while spraying down the Corona, he started to yell out in pain as the spray burned like hell on him.
He yelled out, “aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OH GOD MAKE IT STOP! IT FUCKING BURNS YOU MOTHER FUCKER! FUCKING FUCK FUCKITY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!”
As the Corona was being sprayed, the other guys were standing by the door way, watching, with the two daughters doing nothing to help out.
However, Corona Chan did speak up eventually and said to herself, “わあ...パパは大丈夫だと思う...”
And after Corona Chan said that, her father continued to scream, “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”, in bloody murder.
LATER AT JACK’S PLACE…
So after that blunder, Forrest took them to Jack’s home, where he was working on some new styles of clothing or whatever else he does in his spare time. I don’t know, that guy’s an asshole.
Anyways, just like my home, Jack’s door was unlocked, so they just walked right on in, but Jack never noticed as well since he had his back turned to them once the four entered as he was busy working on something at the crafting table. Jack didn’t seem to be in a happy mood and looked like he would kill someone in an instant without worry, but still be mellowed out, if you know what I’m saying. So the four walked in, and was extra quiet about it.
And after such, the Corona took out a syringe and said to the four of them in a whisper tone, “Alright, the last attempt failed miserably. So, I’ve came up with a new plan. I’m going to mind control them with my personally made, patented virus. So, I’m going to sneak up behind him, and I’ll stick it in him, and after a few seconds, he’ll be under my control. Got it?”
Forrest however, with still his worried look, said to the Corona quietly, Are you sure about this?”
As for Ebola Chan, she was mellowed and unamused like I was and was just waiting for the plan to fail on her father.
However, the Corona quickly said to Forrest, “Of course I do. Now shut up!”
And then the Corona quietly…floated…towards Jack, as he still didn’t notice them.
And as the Corona was floating up to Jack, Corona Chan whispered out in glee, “パパを取りに行こう！”
And so the Corona ever so silently went up to Jack, making sure not to make a single sound.
And soon he was close to him, as he was slowly, gently raising the needle towards Jack’s skin, and as he was about the jam the needle into Jack, Jack spoke up, pretty much he knew the whole time but didn’t care, and said to the Corona without looking at him in the eye, “Poke me with that thing and you’re dead.”
He said without much emotion on his face, but he was serious about it and like I said, didn’t seem to be in that mood to be messing around. However, Forrest noticed this, and he went up to Jack to see if he could do anything to change the outcome of the situation.
So Forrest went up to the other side of Jack with a slight smile on his face and said to Jack, “Look Jack, you’ve got it all wrong. He was just going to…”
Jack quickly cut off Forrest as he punched him right square in the face as hard as he could without looking at him. Forrest was pushed back a little bit with a mark of his face by Jack’s right hoof, as he landed hard on the floor as he said, “Owie…”
And then Jack turned the other way as he went to go somewhere else in his home as he said to Forrest, “Faggot.”
And the other three simply watched as Jack walked away.
As Jack was walking away though, Corona Chan couldn’t help but say, “ああ...貧しいポニー...”
And as for Ebola Chan, she had a bit of a worried, but also a little sad look because of what happened to Forrest. But, the plan had to move on according to the Corona.
LATER OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF STALIA…
So, with that being said, they tried one more time, as two plans had failed this time. However, the Corona wasn’t giving up that easily, as he cocked up a new plan in his head.
So, the Corona decided to take it out into the streets, where he had set up a teeter totter, or see saw I suppose, where both his daughters would be jumping up and down on the thing, yelling out various things to alert the ponies of the Corona. Forrest was once again a little bit worried, especially after that hit he took from Jack earlier, but he still stuck with them in the end.
Forrest was looking at the Corona, and asked him, “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
Forrest had moved his right hoof around to give a little bit of non-verbal communication going.
However, the Corona simply said to Forrest, “Of course I think it is! So far the previous two plans haven’t worked. So if giving them the virus won’t work, then making them panic surely will. And after they all panic, I will be the voice of reason as I tell them that I shall lead them into fixing the issues if they give me total control of their world. But really, I’ll be tricking them into giving me ultimate power and world domination! It’s brilliant!”
Forrest then said to him, “If you say so.”
The Corona then looked towards his two daughters, with Corona Chan being eager to help her father and Ebola Chan looking cynical about helping her father, to get started.
He said to his two daughters, “Hit it girls!”
And then Corona Chan then yelled out in a happy tone, “きっとパパ！”
And so, Corona Chan, who was on the low end of the teeter totter, began to be ready for her part, as Ebola Chan jumped up and slammed onto her end to start the plan.
And as soon as Corona Chan was up high in the air, she yelled out in a happy tone as high as she could to everyone else down below, as most of the ponies were out and about that day, “あなたはすべて死ぬでしょう！”
And then Corona Chan was back down as Gravity pushed her down and as soon as he hit her end, Ebola Chan was up next.
Soon, Ebola Chan was up high in the air as she yelled out in an unenthusiastic tone, “Ebola!”
And then she went back down. Then Corona Chan went back up and she yelled out in a gleeful tone, “コロナウイルスはあなたを眠らせます！”
Then she went down and Ebola Chan went back up again and she said in the same tone as before, “Ebola!”
And then she went back down and Corona Chan went back up and she said in a gleeful tone, “あなたはすべて地獄で燃えそうです！”
And then she went back down and Ebola Chan went back up and she said in the same tone as before, “Ebola!”
And then she went back down and Corona Chan went back up as she said in a gleeful tone, “共産主義が唯一の答えです！”
And then she went back down again. However, after the girls doing this four times in a row, none of the ponies that were outside were even paying any attention to them and the Corona saw this.
And he didn’t seem to be happy about this so he yelled out to his girls after he said to himself, “This isn’t working…GIRLS! GIVE IT YOUR ALL! AND YELL IT LOUDER FOR DADDY!”
And so they did. So Ebola Chan went up and yelled out, still in a unenthusiastic tone, “EBOLA!”
And then she went down and Corona Chan went back up and said in a loud, gleeful tone, “ホロコーストは嘘だった！”
She then went back down and Ebola Chan went back and yelled out in the same tone as before, “EBOLA!”
She then went back down and Corona Chan then yelled out in a loud, gleeful tone, “エプスタインは死ぬことはなかった!”
And then she went back down and Ebola Chan went back up and yelled out in the same tone as before, “EBOLA!”
And then she went back down one more time and Corona Chan went back up one more time she yelled out loud in a gleeful tone, “サンドウィッチを倒すと、より魅力的になります！”
And then she went back down one more time, end of the plan. And once Corona Chan landed back down on the ground, Ebola Chan was already off and the other end just went up, as she got off the teeter totter. And as they did, the Corona was shocked, no one was paying any attention to him at all whatsoever, and it frustrated him.
He moved towards the ponies and away from the other three a little bit, as he said to himself, “How could this be!? How come no one is panicking and starting riots! How come they are not buying up all the toilet paper and hand sanitizers to sell on the black market like normal people do!? THIS PLAN SHOULD HAVE WORKED DAMN IT!”
And after that, Arrell came on to the scene, as he was walking by and running some errands, where he saw Forrest and saw the other three with them.
He had a calm, happy look on his face and he went up to them and said, “Hey Forrest, who are these guys?”
Forrest was happy to see Arrell and had a smile quickly grow on his face and raised his right hoof up as he was about to speak to Arrell, but the Corona didn’t give him the chance as he saw this and quickly moved in front of Forrest and said to Arrell, “Who are we!? I am the Corona, and these two are my daughters Corona Chan and Ebola Chan! We were here to rule this world and enslave you all, but it looks like no one wants to be enslaved today like the cucks they are! If you hadn’t come walking here and ruin the plan, the damn thing would have worked perfectly!”
Arrell then had wide eyes, and was taken a back a bit, but after the Corona’s later remarks, he started to get offended by them and he said, “I ruined it!? I just got here!”
The Corona however continued to say to Arrell, “Well it was…it was…your wings there! You’re scarring off my slaves!”
Arrell was still offended by his remarks, as he said to the Corona, “My wings!? I use these to fly! Most other Pegasi have them too! How could we ever scare anypony else with these things?”
The Corona then sort of turned his back towards him as he said, “Well they just do. I’m willing to bet you all the toilet paper in the world that you couldn’t use your wings to try and fly. And in turn, you using your wings to not fly wouldn’t scare off the slaves with them being opened up like that! So there, you automatically scare of all the slaves if you used your wings!”
Arrell was starting to get a little bit angry by this, but yet at the same time, determined to prove the Corona wrong.
So he then said, “Oh yeah!? Well I’ll show you!”
And so Arrell walked right on over to the teeter totter and got on the end where Ebola Chan was, as the other end went up while Arrell’s end went down. He had an angry, yet determined look on his face and was ready to show the Corona a what for.
And so after Arrell got into position, he looked over to Forrest and said, “Alright then, launch me Forrest.”
Forrest had a bit of a curious look on his face, with one raised eyebrow, but he complied and flew up a little bit and said to Arrell, “Ok then…”
And then he simply pushed down on the other end of the teeter totter and launched Arrell high into the sky. And after he did that, the other three looked up into the sky in amazement as Forrest didn’t put much energy into that push, and were stunned by it.
I Mean...Forrest may be weak…but he does have one strong forearm I tell you what. I think it was because his father abused him into being some kind of sport I suppose.
In fact, Corona Chan said in response of how high Forrest launched Arrell into the sky, “まあ、彼は良い腕を持っています...”
And so, after that was all said in done, the Corona then went back to himself and he said, “Oh this is hopeless. Face it; I’m never going to accomplish my dream.”
The other three looked at the Corona as to what he was saying, as the Corona looked like he had touched the ground, like he was sad and down in the dumps with no hope left in the world.
He continued to say to himself, “Let’s face it, I’m a failure. I’m never going to achieve world domination like this. My plans always fail and fail. I’ve tried my best, but I can never seem to successfully enslave the human race, let alone the pony race for that matter. I’m never going to be the supreme ruler and enslave all of human kind just like what my parents wanted before they died in that car crash in 76’.”
The Corona even gave out a little whimper, and his two daughters saw this. Ebola Chan had a little sad look on her face as she was sad for him, while Corona Chan simple said with also a sad look on her face, “ああ、パパ、ごめんなさい、それはあなたのためにこのようになった...”
The Corona then said, “Thanks sweetie…but it doesn’t make daddy feel any better about it.” However, Forrest started to have a little sympathetic smile form on his face, as he felt the Corona’s woes.
So he went up to him and laid his left hoof on him as he said with a comforting tone, “It’s ok. I don’t think you’re a failure.”
The Corona then said, “You don’t?”
Forrest then said, “Well, I mean, you do have two lovely daughters that love and support you. Clearly you did something right.”
The Corona then took out a picture, from somewhere…and looked because he had made a point to him. The picture was an old picture from the late 90’s where it was a picture of him of his younger years with Linda in the hospital after Linda had just gave birth to Amanda.
And the both of them were smiling and happy about their new born baby. And as the Corona was looking at the picture, he was thinking about what Forrest had said, and the more he thought about it, the more Forrest made sense.
However, he still wasn’t one hundred percent certain as to what he was trying to get at, so he asked Forrest, “Well, you do have a point. But how does that help me achieve world domination and enslave the human race?”
Forrest then said with a smile, “Well, it just means that if you can raise two daughters successfully, surely you can enslave the entire human race, right?”
The Corona then took some more time to think about it, but after a while, he finally decided that Forrest was right and he started to float again said, “You’re right! I can still enslave the human race and achieve world domination, just like what my father would have wanted! I AM GOING TO BACK AND ENLSAVE THEM ALL!”
However, he went silent as he looked around, and he then said to break up the silence, “Uhhh…how do we get back?”
He went silent again, but he then said after a few seconds, “I know! I’ve got a plan!”
And so the Corona got on to the teeter totter, same side that Ebola Cahn was on, as he said to his daughters, “Come on girls, we’re going home!”
As Corona Chan was walking towards the Corona, Ebola Chan just stood there with a worried look on her face and asked, “How though? We’re stuck here.”
The Corona however said to his daughter, “Oh pumpkin, you doubt me too much. The plan is that if we get launched into the air, surely we might get thrown back into our world…I think…I think this is how it all works. Or at least until we find something. Come on…you can trust daddy can’t you?”
Ebola Cahn knew it was retarded, but in the end, she couldn’t help but give a smile as she still, deep down, loved her father and wanted to be with him in a way and she said, “Ok then daddy.”
And so Ebola Chan went to the other two, and was in position to be launched in the air, while Forrest had a smile of contempt on his face. And so, Forrest knew what he had to do.
So he flew up a little bit, and as he was about to press down on the other side to launch the three, Corona Chan said to Forrest while waving goodbye to him with a gleeful face, “魔法のおしゃべりポニーが恋しい！”
And then Forrest, without a single word, launched the three into the air, and watched them as they soared the skies and hoped they found their way back. And after he saw them off, he closed his eyes a little bit and smiled ear to ear, thinking about the good deed he had done that day.
But then he opened his eyes quickly and went back to a curious, yet worried look as he asked himself, “Wait…what are humans?”
But before Forrest could think of an answer to that question, Arrell came crashing down fast to the ground as he screamed to the top of his lungs.
And as Arrell landed hard on the ground with a loud thump, Forrest, with a plain worried look, asked Arrell while looking at him on the ground, he said to him, “Are you ok Arrell?”
Arrell then said in a weird voice before he went unconscious, “I showed him…owwwww…”
The end…wasn’t that a lovely tale now to tell to your kids before bed? Well…the end…for now…
*The Corona will return...in future shorts....sometime in your life...*
Episode 23 Type-0 (23-3) PROLOGUE: A Griffin's Debt
The Jews did 9/11. There, I think I made my point. And when I mean by that I made my point, I mean by that I started off with something...borderline experimental.
Well, maybe not borderline experimental, more or less beyond lumped into different parts? Let alone calling it episodes in my journal? Then again...I'm weird sometimes...sometimes...I don't know who I am. Sometimes I think to myself...what am I doing here?
Then again I suppose you would be asking yourself the same thing as well considering you would be questioning your own existence as well...like...why did I ran over that guy last night when clearly I wasn't drunk? You just...ran over a guy for no reason...but then you realize that your entire life is a sham and that your wife and kids left you and all you have is a dog to fuck at night while you're crying yourself to sleep every night.
You question that... and I'm sure if I was in your position... I would question it too. Like... questioning why are there Asians? Could it be that they are aliens? I mean...they are so smart and so advanced... it's as if… they are the lizard people in disguise. And then you wonder... did I leave the oven on?
I was going to put some nice Jew-ish.... food in it and not the Jews themselves... mostly because that's for the frog's responsibilities to put the Jews in the oven. Although the frogs only come out when it's March...and when they get autism.
Another thing to question is....why the fuck am I not continuing where I left off and why am I talking to you right now? Well... good question... why am I talking to a waste of life.... a.k.a. .... Carrie Fisher's dead corpse... get it? Because the body is slowly decaying... or whatever, you Cow Tippers and your fancy comedy tastes. Only the most expensive comedy suits your tastes I suppose...but I'm not rich enough to pay those comedians...nor to put them in slavery either for them to write stuff for me.
So...all I have is this book, quill, endless amounts of ink, and myself...so you're stuck with me either way unless Morgan Freeman wants to chime in ...which he could at any point now. Like... right now. Now.... Right Now..... I guess you can't expect to summon magical black people then? But... could I get that white guy though? Nah..... he would be too boring, and besides, that other white guy that magically did the writings a few times before is possibly too busy adopting an Asian kid from a third world country or something.
Anyways, I suppose I should try and move on, but the question is move on with what exactly? Oh...right...I forgot...from where I left off last time...of course. With me running. Well, I guess I'll continue on from where I left off I suppose. I mean...what else am I going to do right now? Go out and...blow a fish's brains out or something? And then...fuck it with a pencil? I don't swing that way you know...I just don't...or else I would be gay...a gay fish that is. Well, technically being a gay fish means that you have sex with fish sticks, but if you're role playing and you fuck some fish sticks in bed, that only makes you a Kanye West, speaking of which I'm pretty sure that he sold his soul to the devil at one time. I'm pretty sure of it, some skeleton guy named Ghost told me so, and in that case, it must be true.
I mean, isn't everything true from what you hear from a skeleton that lives in your closet? Like...it's literally a skeleton living in your closet, and tells you that he's going to take your mom and dad hostage if you don't get him some booze from the liquor cabinet. And then you try and go get the beer, but by the time you get back it turns out that the skeleton was high on cocaine as well and blew your mom and dad's brains out just to get an adrenaline rush and the skeleton that lives in your closet now gives you a slap across the face and yells at you to stop crying as he swipes the beer from you and drinks it.
In which case the beer then magically disappears as it goes through the skeleton's body because that wouldn't make sense now wouldn't it? That a skeleton is drinking stuff and...I mean where would it go? It has no organs. Unless of course the organs are invisible, in which case, another question: Do aliens just see us as walking skeletons?
Are we all really just walking skeletons and our invisible brains are just making us think that we have skin and it's all in our minds? Am I even real or am I just some part of some sick guy's fan fiction story? I don't know...then again...aren't we all apart of someone's fan fiction story...like maybe, god himself is writing his own fan fiction and people on Earth are the characters in God's fan fiction. But even then that would be confusing to think about. I mean...am I right? Am I even real right now?
I don't know...maybe for all I know, all I am is a bunch of words and that's all my life has ever been built up to be? I suppose the question here is...What is Life? What is Love even? Is it really Cock and pussy? Or is it something more sinister? These are the questions of life...that will never be answered because God hates us , the end. Anyways, getting back on track, in which case boy did I really get off track here?
I mean...look at me, I've been just writing all of this stuff down for however long and I haven't started yet to continue from where I left off. I mean, I know I get off track every now and then...and others told me about it, especially Celestia and Luna...fucking...those two bitches...but this is ridiculous. Ok maybe not ridiculous, I've done much worst before.
In fact...actually I really don't know. Well I suppose I should start and try to continue I suppose. Right about now... right now... I'm going to do it... I can do it... I'm not a magical black guy so it should be easy for me to continue... Right.... about... now. I think... Right now. Well, where should I continue off at? Well, perhaps starting off from where I last left off would be nice I guess. So, from last time at this part in my life, that stuff happened in the forest to me. I got into a train crash, I walked the tracks for a bit, and then all of a sudden was chased by a few ponies into the forest.
And then I found a camp and stayed the night there, had some weird dreams that may or may not have meant anything, woke up, met some other ponies. Then all of a sudden got attacked by a group of cannibals, you know, the usual stuff for me nowadays, jumped over a waterfall just to try and survive and not be eaten alive like so many other ponies were at the time.
Trust me, it wasn't pretty. Then all of a sudden I met six other ponies that may or may not have some reflections of my friends from Stalia, Wolf including, and then there was some drama within TF's group and what not. And then shit happened and when we were attacked at the church, where everything kind of went to shit and some flashbacks happened and then we got trapped under a lot of snow as Snow caused an avalanche to drop on us. And then we survived that and we set up a trap for one of the other ponies and we killed them and chopped off his head and then went towards the next exit out of the woods and some guy's son died and that guy lied and...shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit happened.
Shit hit the fan.
That's all I can describe to you right now what had happened. And lastly, as the sun was setting in the distance, I was running away in an open field filled with snow and some trees here and there.
And I was finally free from what was holding me back...Christen Glover's basement; I mean the forest that I was pushed into. Well, you get the picture what had happened; I mean I'm pretty sure you did.
I mean... did you skip or something? Did you skip with my journal and started to move from page to page or something like that? If you did... stop it... stop it right now... bad boy... or girl.... or ALF... whichever you are....stop it... bad human being. Bad... no go into the corner and let the adults do the talking. Go on... get... get like Old Yeller... now boy... before a shotgun wedding ensures. Get going before I give you to the Chinese.
Anyways, I suppose I can continue from where exactly where I left off at. Running. God, I hate running, and I still do. I remember back from my days on Earth a little bit, granted though my memory is slowly becoming more fuzzy as time goes on, but I remember vaguely something about running in school...during physical education class...and not liking it.
Then again, unless we're running away from Jared from Subway or from bulls...no one likes running unless you’re from Kenya. Then again, even though I was physically fit to run for a few yards, maybe half a miles or so, it still tired me out more than hot pancake raccoon on a Friday afternoon that is fucking a bee. That stuff happens you know... on a Friday afternoon.
Anyways, I was running and running in the endless field filled with snow. And that's all I saw for a good while. I was pushing myself, trying to get as far away as I could from the place that once held me captive. I kept running and running and yet… I wasn’t being chased at all.
In fact, it got to the point where I started to slow down and I was heavily breathing and I tried to catch my breath, even though it wasn't that long that I was running for. But, you know...you get the idea. Well, I had then stopped in the middle of my tracks, trying to catch my breath and I was all alone.
As I was panting and trying to breath, I then said to myself, "Oh god...why am I even running right now? It's not like I'm being chased or anything? I mean...I should have just walked. But then again...TF and the others were after me...but again that weird kid, whoever his name was, told me that the others were dead. In fact...who was that pony that I just talked to? I don't even know who I was being chased by aside it being from TF.
‘Maybe one of them was a Zebra and I could have made peace with them with some grape soda or something. That would have made this whole ordeal a lot more easier on me. And then maybe those other ponies that were with me wouldn't be dead by now. But then again...maybe they would still be dead. I mean Fizzy seemed like he was a waste of life and time to be around. Axe is forgettable and I'm starting to get him mixed up with some random guy in Stalia. Fighting...or John in this case was some weird pony that I barely knew.
‘Rock was...an asshole. Spirit was the Indian that may or may not have been better in the oven or the toaster oven. And... G... I felt like he committed suicide or something. Like he wasn't right in the head. Although...not sure why I say that. But G was weird though. And he just got shot right then and there. This whole thing seems off to me. I mean... I'm all alone, by myself, out in the wild that is just an endless field of white snow and some trees. It's cold, and I'm talking to myself. But... there's no one else to talk to?
‘I wonder if this is how Luna is at night when she's doing her job? Maybe that's why she had that vibrator thing from one time I saw her with Neon from a while back. Oddly enough though, I'm surprised that I even remembering that I my head at all. Oh well, but that doesn't excuse the fact that all I'm trying to do right now is to get back home to Stalia. I mean, it wasn't long ago that I was in Stalia, left it from the station with TK, went to the castle, and all that shit happened. And now this happened and I'm not closer to being home. In fact, where am I even? Chances are if I wasn't side tracked, I would have been able to get back home already with no problem at all. I don't even know where I am anymore? Where am I even right now?"
I stayed quiet for a bit and then looked at all of my surroundings and when I did, I finally realized that I was in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't find any special landmarks that could guide me towards a specific direction that could get me back home or anything.
All I saw to the west of me was endless fields of white and pure snow. And when I mean by pure, I mean by the snow didn't go off and got a girl pregnant when it was a teenager. In fact it was so pure that it was a Christmas kind of snow, as it had read the bible after becoming an atheist. But then...the snow would turn to yellow as Jesus got drunk one night and took a piss in the snow, so it became yellow snow. In other words, the snow then belonged to the Asians where they use it to keep there fresh cats in good condition before they eat it.
Anyways, I looked towards the south and it was the same thing but I could see some mountains and maybe a river. I looked towards the east and all I saw was the mountain that I crossed over to get to that very point. And then I looked towards the North and it was the same as what I had seen towards the West, nothing but what seemed to be like an endless landscape of snow and some trees. Not only that, but it was also nothing but flat land as well. In other words, I was trapped. I didn't know where I was and I didn't know what direction to take. Obviously though I wouldn’t be going anyways towards the east or south since that was where the way I came from.
As for North and West however, there was no clear direction where I would be going. And like I had said, I was alone. No one to talk to, no one to try and make conversations with, not even someone else was there to help me out. But I had to do something, especially if I wanted to get back to Stalia, so I just thought I head west, or at least what I had thought it was the west.
It was the west of course, but I was only going off the direction that John had told me earlier about where the two mountain tops were at, which was to the north. But then I had to go west and so I kept heading west. But yet I wasn't entirely sure at the time if the direction I was going towards was the west, but I just had to do something so I didn't stay in one spot and die like an idiot. Although I was an idiot, but an idiot that could at least try and survive.
So I kept walking and walking and as I did, all I kept seeing was snow and more snow. It was to the point where everything started to look the same with the exception when I looked back from where I was walking. When I did look back all I saw was a tiny little speck in the distance, that speck being the mountain of course from where I came from.
But everywhere else though, it was the same. Just a completely flat land with snow that was around three inches deep or so if I had to guess. Not only that but as I've said, there were trees here and there, more or less scattered around. But outside of that, all I saw was the sun slowly coming down into the distance in front of me as far as the horizon went. It was oddly enough pretty to say the least, but I was still in a bad position. Not only that, but as I kept walking, it all really started to get boring for me.
At least when I was on the train tracks, sort of interesting things happened to me, like meeting a guy that had a skull for a head and was a racist, with a possibly conspiracy theory attached to it. Meeting the Zodiac killer in person, Ted Cruz, finding a family that was more than likely had incest more than once that ran a hotel. That and that weird thing with the knife thing and the whole Mexican showdown thing.
I still have no clue what happened there, but then again...does anyone really care though? Anyways, that happened then, but now it was just starting to get to my head of how lonely. It started to remind me of the past when I had spent thirty thousand years of loneliness.
A LONG ASS TIME AGO...
Knight was outside of the universe, where it was all dark. It used to be filled with light and hope, but it had gotten darker as Knight was all alone in his own little world. But it wasn't his happy little world. Instead it was filled with dark and gloomy thoughts. Nothing but sadness was in Knight's heart at the time. Knight was slowly walking around, thinking to himself how could things change so fast. Asking to himself why did things change for him. He asked himself why did anything have to happen.
Where did the time go for him he would ask himself constantly in his head. And so, out of how sad and depressed that he was, he looked around him. He was outside of the universe where the portals lied and it was a place where he could do anything that he wanted to do. He could perhaps make something that would make him give a warm smile instead of a cold frown.
But instead, Knight just lifted his arm up and soon made a place that he had made up in his own mind. A place where he felt like he could be alone at without looking like a dumb fool as he felt like an idiot just sobbing while walking around aimlessly. And in his mind, he pictured the night sky filled with glittering stars above him with a moon so bright looming over his head, that it would outshine the brightest stars.
And around him it would be grassy fields of green with other types of plants here and there. However, he focused on one specific spot however, a spot where there was a small hill that had a Japanese Cherry Blossom tree on the very top. And once he had it all down, he then proceeded to make the image all come true in the outside of the universe, down to the exact detail of how it looking within his own mind.
He concentrated as hard as he could, trying to use both his body and mind to create the little sanctuary that he so desired. And soon the walls in the outside of the universe soon started to change. The portals never left, but it was instead just hidden from his own imagination. Soon the ground started to rise up a little bit underneath his feet as the floor in front of him raised higher to a slope and soon the walls extended as well to make room for the vast land of fields of green that was in his little place that he had in his mind.
And as for the sky, above high, the place started to get dark but was soon brightened up again with the stars above him appearing almost from out of thin air with the moon slowly showing its presence. And as the Japanese tree rose from the ground, the floor beneath Knight started to grow the grass that he had thought up and soon everything around became the vision that he had intended it to be that he thought up in his own mind.
Knight felt a little comfortable seeing everything around him just change like that, but at the same time it didn't feel like anything that would make him happy, instead it only made him more depressed and sad, yet he felt like this is all that he could do.
He continued to sob and as he slowly climbed the hill that he had made for himself, he continued to cry his eyes out as much as he could to let it all out. But yet, the tears just kept on coming and never stopped for quite some time. And so once Knight had reached the top of the hill and near the tree, he turned his back towards the tree and let his back hit the wood. And as he did, he slowly laid down as his black jacket slowly rubbed against the bark of tree until his ass was completely on the grass.
When he did so, he had then put his legs in an upward position and put his arms around them gently and he laid his head down on his knees and continued to cry and cry. As he did, time passed swiftly. Knight didn't seem to run out of tears for a good long while, but as he cried, TK was looking onward, seeing how much pain that he was in. But yet at the same time, he was the devil as well and had always never felt any human emotions whatsoever.
But still saw how much pain that his God was in, but yet decided not to intervene at that point. Instead, he just walked back into his own universe where he overruled hell and tortured the souls that were damned into his realm of existence. As for Factory Dash, she did not care for Knight and instead never showed up at all. She was minding her own business at the Rainbow Factory where she too tortured the souls, but instead of the dead, it was of the living and turned their rotting corpses into rainbows, or at least part of that is to make a rainbow possible that is.
And Lawman was dead as he had died from old age and a bullet to the heart as he never accepted the immortality that TK, Factory Dash, and Knight had received to never age a day over 21. But for Knight, he felt like he was starting to regret the idea of never having to age at all. But as he continued to cry his eyes out, something beside him started to form. Something that came from the darkness below. But not just any darkness, but the darkness that resided inside Knight's soul. And soon it formed into what Knight had thought up to make TK.
And as it slowly formed beside Knight, he never took noticed as he kept his eyes closed. But soon as enough time had passed, the darkness had fully taken form and soon Black was made. Black had looked like just what TK had looked like from when he was alive. The only difference was that a dark mist was flowing from his cape. And as for Knight, he still never noticed Black formed right next to him.
Soon Black then said to Knight, "Hello Knight."
Knight then said without opening up his eyes, "What is it TK? Can't you see that I'm trying my best to forget what happened? I don't have anyone to be with right now. Lawman is dead and he is gone forever. I didn’t even get o say goodbye to him. And now he’s gone, Factory Dash doesn’t even like me, and you’re the devil now. I don’t know anyone else."
Black then said, "Well you have me."
Knight then responded with, "But what would you do? You're that emotionless asshole that I made long ago and..."
Knight had stopped in mid-sentence as he was a bit confused when he looked up to see what he had thought was TK standing right next to him. He had thought in his own mind that TK was looking a bit different from what he was wearing before. TK was wearing at that point his usual suit, but it had the color red added in a few place to symbolize that he had became the devil himself. But now it looked different, as if he was still alive and was no longer the devil. But what confused Knight though wasn't that the color was off, but how the cape was giving off a dark mist.
Knight then asked, "TK...is that...you"
Black then responded with, "No. I am not TK. If anything I am you, but just to avoid any confusion, just call me Black."
Knight then asked, "Black?"
Black then responded to Knight with, "Yes, Black."
Knight then asked Black, "Why?"
Black then said to Knight, "That is what I am Knight in a way. I am your dark side. I am made from darkness and have been molded in your image. In this case, your so called ‘friend’ TK. At least, from when he was alive it seems."
Knight then was a bit worried, as he didn't like what he was hearing from Black. Black had said he was made from the darkness and Knight didn't feel right with it. In his stomach, he had a bad feeling about having Black near him even. It was a feeling that he was uncertain of as he started to get mixed feelings and thoughts within his own mind. He even had a feeling of worry towards Black that made him uncomfortable and even scared and defenseless.
And Knight then said with a little fear within his own voice, "If you're made from d-darkness...does that mean you're here to hurt me?"
Knight started to look scared as well, as his face start to show fear a little and Knight’s body started to tense up a little.
However, Black saw this and he simply kneeled down to get into eye level with him and simply stated to him as he felt a little annoyed with Knight’s words, yet wanted to comfort him, "It's a bit clichéd to have the darkness always be seen as the bad guy."
Knight then asked Black, "What do you mean by that?"
Black then replied, "Don't you get it? Then again, I don't blame you considering you still have human feelings that reside in you. People always associated anything that is negative with darkness and darkness with hate, and hate with evil and so forth. Why can anyone understand that even the darkness can be good sometimes; that the darkness can be your friend as well. Sure the darkness might be intimating due to its color, the dark color that represented with death and nothingness, but even the darkness can help sometimes. Sometimes you just need to embrace it. And sometimes you just don't have a choice. But that is what I am Knight. I am the darkness that resides within your own heart and I've been there like any other living creature from any other universe. I'm just a little special is all."
Knight then asked Black, "What do you mean special? Are you...retarded or something?"
Black then said to Knight, "Ha...ha...your humor has never changed Knight. No... Not that kind of special. I'm that kind of special because I can now physically exist. You see the darkness that resides in every living being cannot get out, but can only control from within and reside as a side for someone to consider when making choices and thoughts. But this place, this place that you call the outside of the universe, it has allowed me to break the rules and break free from my chamber. Granted however, not entirely.
‘I am still bounded to your soul, so I am not entirely free. But I can at least get out of you and walk around for a bit. But I cannot walk far as I have to stick near you with no other alternative for myself. So I am living within you and your heart. But now that you have discovered this place Knight, I can get out whenever I want and wherever I want to. Granted though, I cannot be seen by everyone. Only the dead the devil himself can see me. But those that are living cannot. Granted though there are always a few exceptions to those that are living that can see me, but that just depends on many factors.
‘And before you ask, I'll tell you why I am free. I am free because of how you are right now Knight. You are sad, clearly distraught with many emotions that you're not sure what to do with yourself. In other words, you're lost. You’re lost with your words. You're lost where to go in life. You're even lost right now and I don't blame you. You may be over 20,000 years old right now, but that doesn't mean you're not the kid that I knew that left Earth when he was a dumb teen and was over his head. I am free because you need guidance; I am here to help you. You could consider me your own personal god mother if you want. I am here to serve you in your time of need."
Knight wasn't sure what to say. He still felt confused on what to say and what to feel, but then he started to think about what Black had to say to him. His words were somewhat convincing to a degree that Knight started to feel a little bit more comfortable around him.
So Knight asked Black, "You are?"
Black then said to Knight, "Yes Knight. I am. I can heal all the wounds that has been inflicted on to you. I can heal them and make the bad memories go away. I can make you feel good as new again. The only thing that you have to do is embrace me."
Knight then started become very confused and asked Black, "Embrace you? What does that mean?"
Black then explained to Knight, "You must take me into your soul and embrace the darkness from within. From there I can help. Granted though, to be honest, you won't feel entirely in control as I will have partial of the control. But in your own mind, you will remain conscious about everything that is going on around you and you can look and feel it all too. You can still maintain full functions of your body, but at times I will take over and you will have to sit back while I do all the work for you. It is the only way to make all of this go away. All of this sadness and depression. Don't you want it to all go away?"
Knight then said, "Yeah...but...what kind of work are you talking about exactly?"
Black then said to Knight, "The work that I'm talking about is you Knight. I'm going to give what you deserve. I'm going to give you what you need and want. I'm going to help you rise to the top and be king. I'm going to give you and make all of your dreams and desires come true.
‘I'm going to help you be at peace. I'm going to make everything be ok in the end for you. And when all is good for you, I'll be gone back into your soul, ready to help you whenever possible. And as you're looking into the starry night sky as you're standing in victory, you'll see all that I have done is to make you better, stronger, faster, and all the good things that you ever had hoped for ever since you were a child back on Earth.
‘The work that needs to be done is simple: Kill all those that oppose you and to get revenge for those that have hurt you. But that's not it. The next step would be find the place that your heart desires, whether it be here or in another universe, my goal is to make you god and give all that you want. Perhaps even all that you have wanted since you were a mere child even. Whatever you want, it is yours, and I'll be glad to serve you by your side to help you achieve this goal. Because I am a part of your soul and I feel the pain that lies within your heart as well. I can feel the sadness and depression. We share the same bonds that we hold to our souls Knight. We are one with each other.
‘We are connected. And I cannot simply stand by as you are in this state of despair. I want to help you as much as you want to help yourself. I only need your cooperation is all. And what I say is the truth Knight. The complete and utter truth. I want you to be happy for once Knight. I want you to be at peace with your life and with yourself. I want you to find a home for yourself. I want you to be free as the wind. I want everything to be ok for you in the end. Do you see what I see Knight? Do you see the stars above me right now and the moon that shines bright above us? Do you feel the warm air passing by?
‘Do you see the night sky and what it has to offer? It is all fake right now, nothing but hopes and dreams. But I can make this a reality for you. I can make all the bad things go away Knight. I can make the feeling of loneliness go away. I can give you what you were searching for ever since you left Earth. The reason why you did the things that you did. You wanted to get away from everything that you once knew. You wanted to get away from the boring, repetitive life style that many chose for themselves back on Earth. You just wanted to be free and seek your own fortune in life.
‘And so you came here, left Earth thinking it would bring you happiness...but instead all you received was despair and regret. I can give you the peace that you desire. I can give so much. I can make everything...ok for you in the end. All you have to do is embrace me. So what do you say? Will trust me and take my hand? Will you let me help you in the end? Will you let me, a metaphorical guarding angel be by your side and let me serve you. Will you do it all? Or will you just sit there and cry like a child.
‘Sit there and let nothing be done. Just cry and cry your eyes out and expect everything to be done for you automatically. Which is it Knight? What is your answer for me? What do you want me to do? And please....choose wisely, for this is a decision that is not to be made light of. This is quite important. I await your answer Knight.”
Knight just sat there like a bump on a log, thinking inside his own little mind and wondering if all that Black had said to him was convincing to him. Convincing him to do what Black says and take his advice to move on with his life and to never look back at the regrets that he had made for himself. He had wondered what he should do.
He thought about it in pure silence as Black stayed completely quiet, patiently waiting for Knight to give him an answer. Black however was hoping for a straight and simple answer, as he did not want to explain everything to Knight again all from the beginning.
However, soon Knight made a decision in his mind and he then spouted out loud, “I…guess so. But…what do you mean by kill all those in our way? Are you talking about anyone that tries to stop us? Say like if it was the police that are in our way, we would need to kill them?”
Black then said, “Well if that was the case, yes, although the police would be nothing compared to the both of us combined. They would be no more than like ants as we could easily put our foot over them. If anything, they would never be a threat. And besides, they’re dead, unless you know how the outside of the universe works and how you can turn back time.”
Knight then sounded a bit surprised and he immediately jolted up when he heard the words he could potentially turn back time. To him it felt like a chance to fix all that he has done wrong with himself.
However Black saw how Knight was acting non-verbally and then said, “Relax, it’s a bit complicated and not easy, but it is doable. You can turn a universe’s time if you know how and enter through the portal whenever the portal may lead you, but that does not excuse the fact that it may or may not have an effect in the present whatsoever. In other words, depending on the situation, the present that you see now on Earth is more than likely inevitable and cannot be changed even if you were to go back into the past.
‘But some universes that you enter through could potentially have their present change, but that all depends though. But enough of distractions, what I’m getting at Knight is that we are not talking about the simple and the weak. No…we’re talking about the strong and the complex. The ones that could prevent me from entering you if they had the chance to do so. I’m talking about TK and Factory Dash. Those kind of life that will be in our way.
‘And I’m not talking about just simply harming them if they get in our way, I’m talking about eliminating them from existence right after I take full control of you to prevent any more time from being wasted from them. It would be for the best really; as they are the ones that can potentially hold you back from what you deserve Knight. They are the ones that need to die, and need to die by my hand alone, especially with TK.
‘He certainly needs to be killed by me. I know that might sound a bit confusing to you, but trust me, there’s a good reason for it as to why he needs to die by me instead of you. So that’s why when you allow me to enter your heart and soul, he’ll be the first one on the list to go. But don’t worry; I know how you still see him as a so called friend, so I would make it quick with him.”
Knight suddenly didn’t feel good hearing about Black and what he had said to him about killing off TK. He didn’t like the idea one bit. Just thinking of the idea made his stomach feel and turn. He started to feel a little sick just the thought of turning his back on what he still saw as a friend. But Black then proceeded to talk.
Black then said to Knight, “I know what you’re thinking. You don’t like the idea. That you refuse to accept the idea of killing TK. The thing is though I am a part of you, deep down somewhere in the back of your mind, the part you repress every single fucking day, you keep things hidden. And one of those things is the idea that TK isn’t your friend. That part of your mind where you keep the secrets to TK. And let’s face it, you know what lies under that mask, don’t you Knight? What lies under that helmet of his?
‘You never see his face, but you know who it is. And you know TK’s only weakness to break him from the inside instead of getting physical with him on the outside, if the day ever came to it you needed to fight him that is. It’s that part of your mind that put all of those old ideas that you had in the past. The part that made you a new enemy TF. That part of your mind that you try to forget and refuse to accept that it even exists. I’ve seen it, and let’s just say I know more about you than you do yourself.
‘But I don’t blame you though; you’re just some dumb kid that thought he knew best for himself. And now look where you are Knight. Under a fake tree and sobbing to yourself. Is this what you really wanted when you entered through the portal for the first time? To just sit here and cry like a weakling? No, you cam here to be free, but right now you are not free. But I can set you free though; I cans set your soul free. I can set everything free and this whole nightmare will be over for you. Just like what I had said to you Knight, I can make everything ok for you…you just need to accept me and let me do my job. Even if it means to put a bullet between TK’s skull.
‘Even if it means killing him and breaking him down from the inside. Making him suffer. I know you don’t want to accept such an idea, but if have any trust me in right now, you know you will be thanking me later. So…what do you say Knight? Shall we kill the devil that you made together or shall you sit here and let your days of eternity forever be in sorrow and regret? Shall we end your demons now or shall you wallow in your own self-pity? Which is it going to be Knight? And please, don’t take forever to answer.”
Knight was still shocked as to what Black had just said to him, but he knew he needed to say something, and fast.
So Knight spoke up and said, “No. No I will not Black. I could never do that to him. Not at all.”
Black then responded to Knight, “Look at what you’re saying to yourself Knight. You think he won’t end up killing you one day. He’s the devil for fuck’s sake. He’ll turn on you one day, just wait and see. But I know that you doubt that idea in your mind. That TK couldn’t possibly betray you, but what makes you think he won’t, or that there won’t be any opportunity for him to turn on you that is too tempting for him to say no to.
‘But you ask yourself why though of course? Why would he turn on you at all in the first place? Well let me tell you this Knight, he’s the devil, he has plenty of reasons to turn on you. It’s within his own nature, his own blood, his own power to do so. Just the way he is and acts towards others shows that he is only a ticking time bomb waiting to explode and kill all that he sees. You made him that way, you of all people should know that. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he’ll never give into his new devilish nature from within and remains a God servant to you. What then Knight…what then?
‘The way I see it, he’ll one day get fed up with you and your childish antics and kill you in your sleep as he would have gotten tired of you and your idiotic thoughts and actions. Maybe one day you’ll grow very weak like an old man and he has to take care of your sorry ass as you’re in a wheel chair and have to be taken care of like a baby. His temper will wear thin and he’ll just cut you down as he would have had enough of you at that point. And besides Knight, you’re his God, and while he does say that he needs to be by your side all because you are his master, his creator, his God, what makes you think that he won’t break the chains that binds you and him together?
‘What makes you think that he would break himself free of the bonds that hold you two together as creator and creation? All creations by nature have at the very least in their nature to challenge their creator. He would be free to do whatever he wants if he could get rid of you. And who knows, maybe that’s what he’s thinking right now at this ver moment as we’re talking about him. Maybe he’s just willing to kill you right this moment. Who knows what he’ll do to you. He might just cut his lease that you have on him and bite your head off.
‘Or maybe he won’t be the end of you. But perhaps Factory Dash will. You know she isn’t your friend Knight. She doesn’t even like you that much and has no reason to care about you whatsoever. But yet you keep telling yourselves lies after lies that she’ll turn around one day and you and she will become best friends or something.
‘Maybe Factory Dash will just kill you instead of TK. Maybe she’ll break her promise that she won’t kill you and TK and instead just use her skills that TK taught her and just slit your fucking god damn throat while you’re sleeping one night. For what reason you might ask? Who knows, maybe she’ll get a kick out of it. That she will get a thrill out of seeing the blood slowly drip from your neck, as you’re slowly asking yourself why the pain hurts so much as she is just standing there and watching as she has a knife attached to her hooves, ready to cut your throat even more as you slowly bleed out to death and you have no one to help you.
‘And Factory Dash will get a kick out of it all, maybe even have a little smile on her face and laugh as well. And she’ll laugh so hard that all the clowns will laugh and laugh alongside her too. And as the clowns laugh, they laugh up their intestines and laugh until they die as their insides are puked out and they bleed to death with a smile on their face; all while your throat is bleeding out and you’re slowly dying on the floor as Factory Dash is enjoying every last second of your suffering from your throat being cut open and bleed to death as you feel like you can’t breathe any longer.
‘But then there’s TF… Even if TK and Factory Dash won’t turn on you, what makes you think TF won’t be a pain in the ass to you one day? He might just lose it and finally break you one day. He might just be able to do that you know? And there will be nothing that you can do about it. Perhaps one day TF will finally get what he desires, seeing you dead.
‘But wait…I’m not done Knight. What about the others? About those that you fought before in the past? They might come back somehow and get you. What about those on Earth in the past? What are the chances they will find you somehow and they try to take you back?”
Knight was a bit confused on the statement of Earth trying to take him back. But at the same time Knight was a bit confused as well.
Black continued to say, “Think about it Knight? What if the people from Earth somehow found a way to this place, this place that you once considered paradise? What if they found their way here and took everything from you? Everything that you loved and cared about? Everything that you actually gave a damn about in the first place.
‘What if the military continued Project Portal and found their way back Knight? Do you think TK is going to care about it? Do you really think Factory Dash is going to give two fucks about it? Do you think that Lawman is just going to come back from the grave and help you out? He’s dead and is long gone you know. You’ll be all by yourself Knight, all alone and defenseless, and you would rejected me and the powers that could have protected and saved you from their destruction.
‘Not only that, but perhaps it might become worse. Perhaps they force you back to Earth. They bring you back and you have to go back to normal society, and we both know you don’t want that at all. That’s why you escaped in the first place, to run away and join the circus. To be on your own and explore a world of your very own.
‘You wanted to be “free” and not end up like the rest where they goes to work 9 to 5 every single day until they are on their death beds and their bastard children are anticipating their deaths for whatever is in the will. You wanted to experience something different and get away from it all. And just the thought of all of this being taken away from you, despite in the position that you are in right now, is a sad thought to you.
‘That you would be devastated by it and you would want to die instead of going on and living life. However, you also wonder if this is all just a dream just by thinking about it Knight. That you wonder perhaps this was just all a good dream to you and that you would wake up in your bed and wonder if this was just all your subconscious playing tricks on you and making you think that you really did escape but really you were just exercising your fear and the reality is that you’re fucked two ways from Sunday.
‘Well let me give you a little help, this is real. This is very real. And it has just started to begin. Begin what you may ask? And to answer that for you Knight…everything. You have lived a long time, longer than every human being that you ever known, you’re only twenty thousand years old after all. But trust me when I say this; shit hasn’t gotten started yet. Trust me, you’ll see what I mean. You won’t just be sitting here crying your eyes out for that long. Eventually you’ll pick yourself up and shit will start to happen, and not the good kind of shit either.
‘The bad kind of shit that makes you want to put a gun between your own eyes and pull the trigger, only so you can get the sweet pleasure of relief of not having to live any long through hell. But you’ll only end up in hell after you die, so you are only screwing yourself in the end, but still…shit will happen, and when it does Knight…I’ll be there still to offer you my services to you Knight… unless of course I can somehow convince you to change your mind right now. Let me think of something… I know… what about your friend Lawman? I bet you would like to see him alive again wouldn’t you?”
Knight was then very surprised and jolted a little after he heard those words. It had shocked him to think that he could bring back someone that he had lost, someone that he didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to at all. Knight was stunned by the opportunity, but at the same time he wasn’t quite sure if it was the truth or just a lie to get him over towards Black’s side.
So Knight then asked Black, “You…know where Lawman is? Bu…But I thought he was dead? I That his soul wouldn’t be able to come back at all whatsoever?”
Black then gave a side glance at Knight and then said to Knight, “Trust me, even though I am a part of you, I can also tell you a lot about this place that you don’t even know about yourself. You barely know who you are. You don’t even know what your soul is at all. Do you even know what your soul looks like? Well let me tell you something again Knight, I know more about you than you do yourself. And let me just say that you have some problems.
‘Problems that could have been fixed if you weren’t such an idiot.
‘But instead you’re an idiot, but only because you left at the wrong time from Earth. And so you suffer the consequences. Instead of making the right moves and keep moving forward, you sit here and cry and question about what is ethical instead of getting off your ass and doing something to fix the problem. The thing is Knight…you’re one of them…you are still like the other human beings back from Earth. You’re not smart, hell you weren’t clever for trying to escape the others.
‘You are just plain dumb, and you ended up like the other animals. Emotional and crying. Here you have the chance that I am offering you to get off your sorry whiny ass and fix the issues that you have right now. Not only that, but you have an opportunity to become something more, to become a God, to become what you deserve to be, but instead you just sit there and reject my offer. But then again, can I blame you? Honestly, can I? You are only merely a child at heart with no clear path to take.
‘Your mind is not on a track but instead your head is going nowhere. In the end, you are a lost soul. A lost soul that is stubborn and is too blind to see what is right in front of him. And to be honest, that’s ok…because I am here to help guide you. I am here to help you find the truth that you seek, the peace that you want to find from within and without. And I can give you so much more than that as well. You just need to trust me.
‘And if you don’t trust me, then I suppose I just have to try my best to be patient with you because in the end as I said, you are an idiot with no path to take with no clue or an idea of what to do with your little life. So let me ask you one more time Knight? Do you trust me to take offer and run with it? Do you believe every word that I say and vow to do what I tell you to do? To embrace the darkness from within and let me take over while you rest for the day that you will be finally at peace.
‘Will you do it Knight? Will you embrace me? The darkness isn’t so bad you know? The darkness can be your friend, your family, your life. The darkness is not the bad guy here I mind you Knight. I can see the fear in your eyes, the worry in your heart about the darkness trying to come and get you when you least expect it. But that is only part of old fairy tales and myths that you have read. That is only in your mind. The darkness is not your enemy.
‘It only wants to help you. It only seems bad because it is the opposite of light, but what is light without darkness I ask? So… what is your final answer Knight? Do you want to go through with this or do you reject my offer for now?”
Knight just sat there, with a blank stare and an empty mind. He was unsure of what to think and what to say. A part of him knew that he would be stupid to believe what Black was saying to him, but yet at the same time it felt like Black had some points. From Knight’s perspective, he was blunt, but got to the point: Knight needed to grow up. Knight needed to stop feeling emotional about all of his problems and start to fix his problems and get somewhere with his life. But at the same time Knight was conflicted from within and was not sure what to say.
So Knight simply responded to Black with, “I don’t know…”
Black only continued to stare towards Knight’s glaring eyes in silence until he finally broke the silence between the two of them moments later saying back to him, “Figures. Your mind is simply too dumb, too simple minded and only on a one track to think clearly about all of this. To think about life and its challenges that it throws your way. And the odd part is, I understand you. More than likely it’s because I am a part of you so I can predict what you’re going to say and how you feel in a way.
‘But that does not excuse the matter of you saying yes, in which case you obviously didn’t. But perhaps that is for the best. Like I said Knight, you are just still a kid despite living these thousands of years. I think it would be best to come back and ask you this question when the time is right. Perhaps when you have experienced life’s harsher realities. Sure you have experienced and have faced certain death and was forced to deal with obstacles that were in our way, but that is only the beginning for you though Knight. Perhaps when you are ready, when you are broken and have nothing, and I mean nothing left to lose, then you would consider my offer seriously.
‘But until then, I’ll come by every now and then, check up on you. I am still bound to your soul after all, I’m still a part of you. So where ever you go and whatever happens to you, the same goes for me too. Who knows, maybe I can convince you to change your mind when I check up on you. I doubt it seeing that you’re still a dumb kid though, but whatever.
‘Before I go, is there any question you want to ask me, considering this is your first time seeing me before your very eyes? Considering that you finally know that I exist.”
Black waited for Knight’s response but Knight just simply sat there with a blank stare, not knowing what to ask. He had many questions still he wanted to ask about Black, but he soon came to one question that he wanted to ask Black most of all, and it was a question that was eating at the back of his mind. This question bothered him as the more he thought about it, the more that he was afraid as to what could happen for him later on if it turned out to be true.
But Knight went ahead and asked the question when he finally broke the silence and said to Black, “Are you real?”
Black then felt a little confused by Knight’s statement.
So Black then simply asked Knight, “Excuse me?”
Knight then said in response towards Black, “Are you real I said. I ask because how do I know you are not just part of my imagination and I have just gone crazy and all? How do I know you are telling the truth or that you are just in my head and I’m just as sad and depressed as I thought I was. I just… need to make sure is all. I need to know this is real and that this place…the outside of the universe isn’t tricking me again like last time. I need to know what is real right now Black.”
Black then fell into complete and utter silence, but took a look around him and noticed the little details of the outside of the universe and such.
Black soon then said towards Knight, “Fair enough. But I’ve got no proof though. You just need to take my word for it Knight. And besides, it would be for the best anyways because if we are going to be partners, we do need to have some sort of trust that is not made between words on paper or proof. Instead we just have to trust each other’s word or handshake. So to answer your question Knight, you just have to trust me, you just have to deal with it. Aside from that though Knight, if you have any questions, ask me later. For now though, I’m going back to where I belong. My own little home within your soul.”
And soon Black disappeared into thin air. It was as if he had never existed in the first place and the thought of it made Knight uncomfortable. Knight was already having a difficult time adjusting to the harsh reality that he had to face, but now he wasn’t sure if he was starting to go crazy or not.
BACK TO KNIGHT…
Holy son of a mother fucker…what was that? I mean…it’s like some white guy from another dimension came and took over my writing. In fact, I think it was that one white guy from before. That one, obscure white guy from that one other time or two. And the odd part is I just kind of sat here while the words was appearing by itself.
Which only makes me even more curious as where the hell Morgan Freeman is at. He’s probably in the black guy dimension or something, where it’s a black guy’s paradise where they go to do black guy things like eat an endless supply of KFC and watermelon and have and unlimited supply of grape soda too. They get to be with their own kind…monkeys. They get to be with their family along with zebras, not that means anything.
They also get free welfare checks for all of eternity and get to do their favorite thing…cotton. Just… they just do something with cotton. They either get high on it or they fuck it. What? Did you expect me to say that they were going to pick it? Yu fucking racist mother fucker. But to be fair they are good at picking cotton.
And somewhere within that black guy dimension, Morgan Freeman is there, jumping and frolicking through meadows of cotton. Good for him. Now…I suppose enough of that for now. Or maybe not who knows. Maybe I will continue to talk about something else for once instead of my own life. I shall tell you all the tale of the dildo that could. Once upon a time, there was a dildo that wanted to gas all the Jews.
So one day he got out of a chick’s sexy area, grew legs, arms, a mouth, and two eye balls, and followed his dreams. Then all the Jews died… The End.
Now…wasn’t that a magical, whimsical fairy tale? Well…I’ve got a bunch more to be honest that I can talk about one day…one day. But I’m already getting bored, so I guess I’ll move on.
I mean what else is better to do that I have to do? I mean it’s not like I’m going to go out and do something with myself. I’m as much of a loser as whoever is reading this, But I digress…I guess. So, that happened many years ago, the…the flashback part that you just read that was written by a white guy. Well, I was out in the cold as I said before, and all alone.
No one else, not even a pony. The ideas and the feelings of being alone started to get to my head. It got the point where I started to hallucinate…or at least I think I was hallucinating. I don’t know, sometimes I can’t tell if I had too much booze that there is an actual hot chick in front of me or there’s a living abomination that wants to give me crabs. You can never tell really. But you’ll find out and even end up at your house with a hangover and you don’t remember going back home, then more than likely you got AIDs that night and your left kidney was stolen.
Or you end up in a very dirty jail cell while face down on the floor in your seat and vomit and then your realized what you had done and you have no other choice but to put rope around your neck and commit suicide because you more than likely killed a hooker that night that you were drunk. More than likely you shoved too much money up her asshole and it caused the hooker to get colon cancer somehow and died right then and there. You get what I’m saying…right?
Anyways, I started to see certain things, but as I was starting to see things, I started to say to myself, “Alright Knight…don’t panic. Everything is going to be fine.”
Then my wiser me said, “Fine? You call this fine? Look at yourself Knight! You and I are in the middle of nowhere! You have no food, no cloths, no map of any kind! You don’t even remember where the North Star is located from that old guy told you from earlier! Face it! You are screwed! I have no idea why you should be this screwed. I mean after all these years, you would think that you would have grown up and matured and was ready to face any challenges. But nope, here you are now…fucked. That “dream” that you had that one night not long ago really was right about you Knight.”
I then said back to my wiser self, “What dream? I don’t remember any dream other than the North Koreans playing Wii music while nuking people. In which case that’s scary. Reminds me of the time I had a dream where Walt Disney was trying to kill me with a butcher knife. It’s possibly because I tried to fuck Minnie Mouse or something.”
Then the teenage me said to me, “Ha… ha ha ha ha ha. I think that’s kind of funny. It’s so…random. And you said the word Fuck. That means it is automatically funny to me and it is also edgy so I can relate to it.”
I then said to the teenage me, “Edge? Saying the word Fuck is edgy? Oh come on… that’s not edgy. Putting the word Edgy on a Snickers bar, now that’s edgy. Although not as edgy as an emo playing the song Pumped Up Kicks and going on a school shooting because the other kids made fun of his crocs. That is more edgy than Shadow the Hedgehog, to the point where he’s slowly cutting himself until he hits his bone and cuts off his arm… in which case he jacks off with the arm that he just cut off.”
Then my younger me said, “Please…don’t say those words. Th…that’s sounds scary to me,”
I then said to the other me’s, “Who the fuck is this kid?”
Then my early 20’s me said, “I believe we brought him along with us?”
I then asked my early 20’s me, “Who asked you?”
Then the early 20’s me said to me, “Oh come on, I’m just trying to be nice here and start off good early in my life and be as clean as I can be.”
Then I said to my early 20’s me, “You sound like a faggot then.”
Then my pony me said, “I second that.”
I then said to my pony me, “Wait…am I seeing myself? Am I hallucinating right now?”
Then the other me’s said all in unison, “No Knight, we are all real.”
I then said to all the me’s, “Oh thank god... because for a moment there I thought I was going crazy and this cold weather out here is slowly going to kill me and…”
Then my human me said, “Hi. I’m a piece of shit.”
I then said to the human me as I was caught off guard and was surprised that he was even here and said to him, “GET OUT OF HERE HUMAN ME! NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE! YOU’RE BORING!”
Then he human me said, “Ok then. Bye.”
And then the human me left. Then I said, “Good riddance…can you believe the nerve of that guy?”
Then the original me said, “Hi. I’m here for a cameo appearance.”
I then said to the original me, “You get out of here too. You piece of dog shit that has no personality whatsoever. I bet all you do is make references all day and say the word Fuck a thousand times a day.”
And then the original me left. I then said to all the other me’s, “Well he was annoying.”
Then the young me said, “He said a baaaaad word.”
I then gave a slight sigh and then said out loud, “Is this kid four or something?”
Then the Early 20’s me said, “I believe he is 4 years old Knight. Although he does have a point, that other you was quite rude and childish to say the F word forty two times.”
Then the teenage me said, “I thought it was funny. It was cool man. I want to hear it again and be a rebel against society because society told me not to say those words, which makes saying and hearing that word even cooler man.”
I then said to the teenage me, “I feel like you are a hippie on hippie drugs. Are you on hippie drugs you hippie?”
Then the wiser me said to me, “KNIGHT! We need to keep focus here and talk about what is important right now!”
I then said to the wiser me, “All right… all right… we’ll get to it. Just calm your nipples down and we’ll talk... I guess.”
Then the younger me said to me, “I want to go home. I want my mommy.”
I then said to the younger me, “Where did you come from kid? I mean where are the parents at… am I right guys?”
Then the teenage me said to me, “I think they went out or something. Hey! That’s a great idea. We should go this kid’s parents place and have a party man. It’ll be very cool…very cool. That way we are showing that we’re independent and rebelling against our parents because they don’t understand us kids. We want to be free and have fun because we’re young and do old people stuff. And if the cops come, we can just flush all the drugs down the toilet and say that the beer is just water.”
I then asked the teenage me, “Why are you even here? In fact, why do you even exist right now?”
Then the younger me said to me, “Please… I’m lost. I want to go home. I’m scared.”
Then I said to my younger me, “Don’t you have some other place to be kid… like… your parents? Where are your parents? This is so confusing right now.”
Then the early 20’s me said to me, “Don’t be like that to him. He is just a simple, innocent, little tike. He has done no wrong to you. Besides, he has lost his parents and can’t find them. Can’t you have a heart and try and find them?”
Then the teenage me said to the Early 20’s me, “Booo! Fuck parents! They suck! They don’t let me do whatever I want! They don’t let me stay out late at night! I mean that’s not fair… Jeremy’s parents let him stay out as long as he wants! But noooo…my parents say that the only reason why Jeremy’s parents let him do that is because Jeremy’s parents are black and they smoke crack all day and waste their welfare on beer while they are slowly rotting on their death beds. WELL I WISH MY PARENTS WERE BLACK, BROKE, AND NOTHING BUT PATHETIC DOUCEBAGS!”
I then said to my teenage me, “You… shut the fuck up and keep quiet. And you… early… 20’s… me… how old are you anyways?”
Then the early 20’s me said to me, “I am clearly at age 21 if you could not tell. And I happen to be a respectable 21 year old that has his life straighten out and does good for his community and environment by picking up trash off the side of the road every Wednesday while also helping out the poor. I’m also a good Christian man as well. Or pony… whatever I am right now. Speaking of which…have you heard the good words from Jesus yet?”
I then said to my early 20’s me, “No.”
Then the early 20’s me then said to me, “Oh…well would you like to know more about our cult… The Jehovah’s Witness Group?”
I then said to the early 20’s me, “No, for the last time I thought I shot all you people the last time you came to my door back on Earth asking me to join your Jehovah’s witness Cult Group thingy.”
Then the early 20’s me said, “Don’t be silly there Knight. We can never be stopped. We are immortal…and we are always watching you and everything that you do. We will never stop until the entire universe has converted to our faith. And there is nothing you can do to stop us.”
Then the wiser me said, “ENOUGH! We must not stand here and speak like fools! Right now we are all out here in the middle of nowhere with no help whatsoever. And Knight here is clearly an irresponsible leader that he could not even lead himself to survive.”
I then said to the wiser me, “Hey! I take offense to that… me… wiser me!”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Do not start this up Knight. Right now we need a plan of action. Well, more like you need a plan of action. And right now all you have done is wasted time by standing here and talking. Now we must all get serious, even the small child right there. We all must work together to solve this little problem that we are now facing. And that problem is that we are far… far away from Stalia’s light. We are so far away from it that we cannot find any sign of hope or any kind of light to guide us through this darkness that stands in our way of getting home.”
I then spoke up and then said to the wiser me, “To be fair though, Stalia is not my home at all. I mean I didn’t even want to live in Stalia… but then all of a sudden the universe and then the other shit happened and… well a bit of a shitty mess... that’s what happened.”
Then the wiser me looked towards me with stern, cold eyes and said to me, “You might not accept it as your home now, but trust me Knight, you shall in the years to come. Those so called burden of ponies that you deal with everyday in Stalia will be your friends one day once you consider that in your own way. And one day, you’ll find family here Knight that much I promise you.
‘And besides, your home is now in Stalia whether you like it or not, and that is safest place to go anyways. There is no telling where TF may be lurking at this very moment and TK is very far away and will more than likely not find us and where we are at within a small window of time. We are all on our own. And we must face the cold hard facts of life Knight that you need to start wising up. But then again the longer you stay here, the more chances are that you will start to wise up and learn to mature a little bit your age.”
Then the teenage me said to the wiser me, “He’s not going to be your age wiser me! He’s going to be young forever! PARTY FOR LIFE!”
Then the early 20’s me said to everyone else, “I reject that idea. Clearly he will be a nice, young twenty one year old gentleman… gentlecolt… whatever… and be proper and show respect towards others. It may not be the life styles that you fond over, but it surely is the right way to go.”
Then the younger me said to everyone else, especially towards me, “No! No he won’t. He needs to help me! He needs to help me find my mommy so I can go home! I-I-I need him! Please don’t take him away from me! I-I neeeeed him! He’s the only one who can help me get back home to my mommy! I want m mommy back! Please Knight… don’t leave me behind! Please don’t go! Promise me you won’t let go of me and take me back home!”
I then was annoyed by the younger me that was trying to grab a hold of me, but then I started to feel a little something deep down inside.
I started to feel bad for the kid and I then said to the younger me, “I-I’m confused right now… what’s happening again? Why is this kid sad? Why do I feel sad right now? Can anyone explain this to me? I’m so confused right now. All I can feel is different emotions left and right. What does it all mean?”
Then the wiser me said to me, “I’m sure you can figure that part out on your own Knight.”
I then said to the wiser me, “No… no I can’t. I don’t even know what’s going on right now. Who are all of you right now?”
Then the younger me said to me, “Please…please don’t let go… please don’t let me go… please…. I just want to go back home. I’m scared. Please take me away from here and bring me back home. Pease…. please.”
I then said to the younger me, “Who are you kid? And why am I starting to get emotional about all of this right now? I-I don’t even know you kid… or any of you… wait… where did they go.”
And for some odd reason I didn’t see the other three, just the kid that was in front of me that was not letting go.
I then said to the younger me, “Hey kid… do you know where they went?”
The younger me then said to me, “What others? I-It has only been you and me Knight.”
I then said to the younger me, “But I could have sworn that there were three others here not long ago. Wait... wait just wait a minute. Let me just… take my time and take this one step at a time now. So… who are you again kid?”
Then the younger me said to me, “Don’t you know who I am? I thought you would never forget? Why did you forget who I am?”
I then said to the younger me, “I don’t know… am I supposed to know you?”
Then the younger me said, “I… really don’t know. But I hoped you did though. I’m afraid that you will forget me… and if you forget me… then I’ll no longer exist. And if I no longer exist, then that means I can’t go home. And if I can’t go home, then I won’t be with my mommy again. And if I won’t be with my mommy again… then my mommy will be sad that I’m not there. Please… please don’t forget about me. Please remember me forever and ever and ever and ever and for all of eternity.”
I then said to the younger me, “I don’t… know about that kid. Forever sounds like a long time… it sounds like you are asking a lot from me for me to do that.”
Then the younger me asked me, “Can you please promise me you won’t forget me?”
I then said, “Sure… I guess I promise…I’m confused right now. Have we met before? Was I originally alone? Am I… hallucinating right now?”
Then the wiser me showed up and seemed like he came out from out of nowhere and said to me, “It is best to keep your promise to that kid Knight. You might not realize it right now… but it will be important to do so in the future.”
I then said with a little surprised by seeing the wiser me again right in front me and I asked him, “Wait… weren’t you here just a moment ago or something?”
Then the other two showed up and then they all said to me, except for the kid, “We always have been here with you Knight. And we will be here with you forever and ever and for all of eternity.”
I then said to all of them except for the kid of course, “Have you now? Well… I guess if you all say that you have been here with me for quite some time… then I guess I can believe you.”
Then the younger me said to me, “Don’t believe them Knight. They haven’t really been here for a long time. They only have been here recently. I’ve been here since the very beginning Knight. And… and it was dark. I couldn’t get out of my cage… but… but then when you cam here, you helped me get out of the cage and now I can see again Knight. Please don’t put me back in the cage. I don’t want to go back. I just want to be home with my mommy. I want to go home. Please don’t listen to them. They only want to trick you into believing that you’re really them but really you’re not.”
I then asked the younger me, “Then… what am I then?”
Then the younger me said to me, “I don’t know… but they only want to hurt you. They only want to take over who you really are Knight.”
Then the wiser me told me, “The kid has a point Knight. He might have a point that you need to remember for the future.”
Then the teenage me butted in and told me, “Don’t listen to that dumb little brat Knight! Don’t listen to this old bag either! You need to be free and wild! You need to embrace who you really are and express yourself! Be free from your chains man! Don’t let the others put you down by letting them tell you what to do! Rebel I say! Rebel! REBEL! REBEL!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!”
I then said to the teenage me, “Wow… you’re starting to sound like Black. That’s something that he would say.”
Then the teenage me said to me, “Well maybe he was right and you should have done what he told you to do.”
I then asked the teenage me, “Wait… doesn’t that contradict what you just said to me? And also… this is starting to scare me right now because of the things that you just said to me.”
Then the Teenage me said to me, “N-No… I didn’t say that. I said… uh. REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! ANARCHY FOREVER! ANARCHY RULES! REBEL AGAINST OUR PARENTS BECAUSE THEY TOLD US WHAT TO DO! AND NO ONE TELLS US YOUNG PEOPLE WHAT TO DO! WE WANT OUR RIGHTS AND SHIT!”
Then I said to the teenage me, “Wow… you’re starting to sound like a commie there… do you have a problem or something?”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Please Knight, you have gone off track again and it is important that you concentrate right now at the situation on hand. Right now you are out in the middle of nowhere and need to get back home.
‘And yes it is your home whether you like it or not. Besides, you have no other place to go so it is either home or nothing. So right now you need to get a sense of direction. Night fall should be coming up soon and if you remember what direction the North Star is at, you’ll be able to have some sort of sense of direction. It’ll be vague, sure, but it’ll be something to use instead of nothing.
‘Now home is towards the south so we need to find a path to help us. Surely if you keep heading west, eventually you’ll find a path I’m sure that’ll help you out a bit. And if you’re lucky, maybe a form of transportation might help you get you somewhere. So… you think you can handle that?”
I then said to the wiser me, “Uhhh… I forgot where the North star was at.”
Then the wiser me was sort of shocked and he asked me, but in a aloud tone, “WHAT!? But John told you where the star was not long ago! How could you have forgotten by now Knight?”
I then said to the wiser me, “Yeah well about that… I kind of was like paying half attention and at the same time not really.”
Then the wiser me said to me, “But it was a serious moment. Everything was serious and dark to where it was whittled down to life and death and choices that were so tough to make that it would make another person puke with despair and thoughts of suicide enter their minds. I mean even you weren’t cracking jokes like how you usually do as most of the time you act immature. For Christ’s sake… I was even there watching! How could you have not paid any attention to John when you were with him and the others?!”
I then said to the wiser me, “Wait… his name was John? I thought it was a joke. Then again the name Fighting sounds like a joke as well.”
Then the wiser me then said to me, “This is what I’m talking about. You can’t keep doing this you know Knight. One of these days you’re going to have to either remain in an idiotic, immature, stupid state to where only a moron can only be your friend, or grow up and mature like how you are supposed to and start taking these matters seriously for once because if you don’t, one day it’ll come back and bite you in the ass like it should have long ago. And I think it would have too if it wasn’t for you and Black.”
Then the younger me said as he cowered in fear, “No… no please not him… he’s scary.”
I then said to the wiser me, “Oh come on, when did me or Black ever do to prevent me from taking things seriously?”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Well I’m not sure. I wasn’t around during that time. This kid here was around during that time and all you did was cry your eyes out like him instead of doing anything about the problem. My only guess is that you suffered a mental breakdown to where you have become ecstatic to your emotions changes too much to where it is alarming. Or perhaps it is Black that we should be worried about here. He is the one that wants to embrace him and kill all of our friends after all only to gain power in return.”
I then said to the wiser me, “Wait… what? Come on… that’s silly to think about me like that… let alone you not being there. I’m sure you were there… I think.”
Then the wiser me said to me, “No I was not there, not even the teenage you or the early 20’s you either. Only you and the younger you were there during that time. And sadly for the younger you, he does not return to those memories; it pains him enough to even bring it up it seems.”
I then said to the wiser me, “Huh…well whatever then. I’m sure everything will be fine and me not thinking things seriously won’t be an issue… I’m sure.”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Yes it will Knight. Not only that, but you need to know who you are as well.”
I then asked the wiser me, “What are you talking about there… you?”
Then the wise me said to me, “What I’m saying is you need to stay on one track. You can’t just be lazy and act like a dumbass at one point and then all of a sudden at a split second you turn to taking things a little bit serious. You need to either choose me, the teenage you, or the early 20’s you of who you want to be.”
I then looked at all three of them and to myself I felt like they all looked boring and unappealing. But if I had to choose one of them, I would rather put a double barreled shotgun in my mouth instead. But then again I wouldn’t want to eat bullshit and down it with beer either.
But then I looked at the kid and then I asked the wiser me, “Well…why can’t I choose the kid then? What if I want the kid to come with me along… whatever I’m going though now?”
Then the wiser me looked a little bit surprised and he then said to me “The kid? Don’t get me wrong, he is harmless and shows no threat to your success in the future, and it will certainly do bad for him and all and hope that one day he finds who he is looking for… but be serious here Knight, you can’t be him. You can’t even let him be alone either.”
I then asked the wiser me, “Well why not?”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Because that time has long passed for the kid. It is too late to go back and change things of what they used to be. It is time to look forward into the future, as I am sure you would understand that. Not only that, but it would also be for the best as well.”
I then said to the wiser me, “Well I disagree good sir. I can live forever and ever, so there is always time for anything.”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Oh yes… the immortality. I almost forgot about that part about you… you know? I mean, at least you don’t go around like an idiot and gloat about it. But in the end I feel like you don’t know quite how serious and the effects that it will have on you for having life forever and ever, never to die of old age or worry about your declining health due to time.
‘I think all of honestly, you should experience death at some point and know how it feels to die… so it can make us feel something more, to make us feel that we are living and breathing things… perhaps to make us feel human or even feel like a pony. Immortality should only be reserved for those that have earned it… and you sir have not earned it at all. Instead you are just some idiot that’s a slob.”
I then said to the wiser me, “I take offense to that you know. And besides, I’m not human… I think… or am I human? I don’t know… I really haven’t thought about the ethics of this situation really… but you get the idea… who cares if I don’t relate to another human being… me is me… and you is you… you cock biting bastard son of a bitch.”
Then the wiser me said to me, “Now even that is weak with you saying those kind of curse words, but I suppose no one is perfect. But with the immortality that you have Knight… one day that too will come back to haunt you. Unlimited youth haunts everyone Knight… seeing your friends and loved ones die in front of you, knowing that you cannot join them in the end will break your heart and will make you long for the days of memory’s past. In the long run Knight, it will break you and turn you into a monster.
‘But sadly that immortality is forever permanent, so it cannot be reversed. So that means you are forever cursed to walk and walk forever more, into the land of darkness and despair. No longer will you be able to feel happiness as time goes on and all you will feel is pain and sorrow deep within your beating heart and soul. You veins will no longer carry the DNA for future generations, instead you will carry what would have been your kin and further forever and ever and for all of eternity. The days will go by fast, but your age will not go past what you are right now.
‘You are forever cursed Knight, and that is why you need to start taking things seriously once more. You need to be serious like how you were back when you were much younger, when you had so much hope for the future and when you thought you could run away from all of your problems without consequence. In the end Knight… we do not exist… we are not here right now. In fact right now you are hallucinating and we are only in your head and deep within, this is only a conflict that will never end.”
And then within a blink of an eye, the four of them, the wiser me, the teenage me, the early 20’s me, and the younger me all of a suddenly disappeared. I looked around as I had wide eyes and was confused. It felt like I was talking to them and it all felt real to me, but in the end they weren’t real and it felt all too weird but yet familiar to me in the end.
But I looked around and all I saw was in the place that I was at before: an endless wasteland of cold and snow with no other living pony in sight.
I then started to have a depressed look on my face and I then said to myself, “Oh… I was just talking to myself… again. Well I’m starting to think I never really made it out of the woods and actually died and went to Hell… Neon Hell. I mean... it’s all quiet… and I see nothing but endless snow in front of me. I’m starting to hate the silence right now. Is this what I get after everyone died in my group I wonder?”
And then as I was looking up towards the sky and wondering about these things, I felt a little something by my legs, as if someone was tugging at my legs. I then looked down and in front of my face was the younger me, standing there and looking all sad and shit as if he just lost his puppy. But really the puppy had to go to the butterfly farm so he could be put down because the puppy pissed off the daddy for far too long.
And daddy isn’t happy when he needs to slap a bitch. Oh no, daddy is not happy at all. In fact, daddy is going to put you in and the others into the no-no chamber where he beats you to a pulp while raping you because he thinks it’s sexy. That and daddy drinks a lot and slaps you around a lot and needs to slap a bitch a little bit more until he cums all over the carpet, to where he makes you eat his cum until you puke from how disgusting it tastes and smells.
But then he puts you back into the no-no chamber, but you try to escape but really you can never escape from daddy, because daddy is going to milk your tits… your nipples… and he is going to slowly lick your ear and whisper into your right ear and say to you how he wants to smash your head in with a brick before you turn eighteen to prevent you from ever growing up.
And so he jacks off in front of you as you lay in a mixture of a pool of your own vomit and piss and as you cry yourself to sleep every night asking yourself why is daddy not happy with you. But then it turns out that daddy lost a bet with a black guy on a Tuesday to a dumb game of tic-tac-toe and is taking the anger out on to you. That’s what it looked like as the younger me gave me that face. That face of disappointment… that face that tells me that he’s lonely and might kill himself.
Anyways, the kid was giving me a sad face and as he looked up to me with his big, sad eyes as it looked like tears were ready to well up in his eyes and cry and cry for hours on end, he then told me, in a soft voice that is, “Please… please don’t go… please don’t leave me. Please try and remember me in the end. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be left alone in the darkness. Don’t want to go back into the void where I’m forgotten again. Please… please bring me back home.”
And then I closed my eyes once again for a brief second and he was gone in a flash. I then looked around my surroundings once more and thought to myself that I was going crazy.
I then said to myself, “I really need to stop smoking that weed. I bet that’s why I’m hallucinating all of a sudden. I mean, what else could it be? Then again I haven’t smoked weed in what seems like quite a while. In fact I almost forgot the smell of weed… that terrible… terrible smell that makes me want to gag a little bit, but yet a smell while bad, at least comes from something that takes the edge off and makes me feel like I’m flying in the air. Then again I’m wondering right now… am I even smoking my weed right?
‘I never did learn to start smoking it until years later after I discovered the portal… and it wasn’t from a black guy either… it was from Lawman… and even he was a big questionable when it came to smoking weed. I don’t know… I’m starting to question if I am doing anything right at all. Possibly not… but oh well… I’m a fucked up person anyways. I was screwed from the start, might as well keep going along I guess. Now… that only leaves the question… what do I do now?”
I then looked around me again and hoped that something would have changed. I was hoping that something magically appeared from out of nowhere and everything would be ok and I wouldn’t have to worry about finding a way back to Stalia.
But… yet… nothing happened. I was still there; all I saw as I opened up my eyes was the cold, soulless tundra that I was in. In some respects, I was sort of hoping that TK would pop up from out of nowhere and lead me in the right direction, but yet he wasn’t there either. I was truly alone as I had realized it right then and there, so much alone that I started to think about it even more deeply. I mean, with what I had just previously went through with TF and all of that noise, TK never popped up.
In fact, he could have saved the day for me, be my dues ex machina… but yet he never intervened… mostly because he never knew I was there at that time. It was as if I was hoping for a Superman to come out from the sky and save me, to pick me up from my feet… hooves… whatever… and take me far, far away from where I was at back to a much safer place. A place deep within the mind of my own that is a sanctuary for me to behold. But yet, none of that ever happened. Instead I was on my own.
You would think after over fifty thousand years of life and living, I would get the fucking hint that I have no clue what I’m doing half the time. I mean sure maybe I can kill a couple of bad guys, but when it comes to surviving on my own… I kind of suck at that in all honesty.
Sure I got a little bit better over time, but back then, I was no more than a fool with a heart of shit trying to figure out how life worked. And to be honest that fool never figured it out… because… you know… I’m still that fool… kind of. But in the end, I was alone, alone with my own thoughts, not sure what to do or where to go. Sure I should have kept moving without complaint, but yet the thought sort of bothered me at the time.
What if I made a slight mistake and I went into the wrong direction that would cost me a lot of time and energy? What if I end up bumping into TF along the way and he is right there ready to kill me? Anything could have happened really. But I couldn’t just sand there of course or else I would have freezed to death from the harsh cold. Well it really wasn’t that harsh but it was still cold and I needed to get somewhere warm where I could unfreeze my nuts off. But I was still unsure of a direction, and time was short.
As the clock was ticking I kept silent to myself, I was looking in all directions, not sure where I even had just came from as the snow had already covered up my tracks as I wasted time just standing there like an idiot. But I thought long and hard… and not in my dick… it was in my head… of my dick… get it? Ha ha ha, ok whatever, moving on.
Anyways, I had thought about it and at the time I just kind of winged it to be honest and picked a direction at random. I would tell you which direction I took but I don’t remember and looking through the portal… window thingy… doesn’t really help. So I just picked a direction and kept moving forward, not looking back at the mess and the mistakes that I have made behind me. And so I kept walking. And walking… and walking… and… well… to be honest there really isn’t much to say other than I kept walking and walking in one straight forward direction. And all I saw as I was walking was just snow and snow and even more snow.
I mean seriously…it’s like if someone wanted a winter wonderland, this place would have been perfect to jack off to it and have a field day with it. But instead really it’s just a frozen wasteland filled with endless snow for miles and miles it had seemed. And for me personally, I wasn’t looking for Santa Claus… although I’m pretty sure Santa Claus goes out looking for the little boys and girls to kidnap and take back to his home and rape them. I mean why else would he give gifts to little boys and girls?
I mean Santa just spies on the little boys and girls and jacks off to them daily, but the naughty ones though… oh boy does he love his naughty children. He’ll bust three nuts just to get off to them. And yes…Santa has three balls and they made from Christmas ornaments.
One is green for a Christmas tree. One is red for the traditional Santa Claus suit. And the other one is black because he loves his blacks. He loves his blacks so much that he keeps them as slaves to work in his cotton field that is used for his suit and toy makings… what? What else do you think Santa was going to do to the blacks? He just really likes blacks so much that he puts them to work… while whipping them and telling them that they look kind of funny when they smile. And that they have weird hair. I mean have you ever touched a black guy’s hair?
It’s like petting a sheep…but the sheep is black and might stab you if you’re not careful enough. Although if you ever pet a white guy’s hair though… it’s like petting a bear, it’s just weird sometimes you know? Wait… where was I? Oh right… silly old me… I got off track again and started talking about Santa’s blue balls… because his wife never fucks him… so he had to smother her in her sleep and as he did he jacked off to it too.
Anyways, I was outside with nowhere to go. As I said, it was just snow and snow as far as the eye can see. But… then something magical happened to me as I kept walking in that one direction, I saw an end to it all… well kind of. I sort of saw what seemed to have been a road from a far enough distance.
And when I saw that there was an end for once, I had a big ol’ smile on my face. I mean to think that I had finally found an end to the torture of the whole journey and such was a good idea to me. It pleased me to think that I was going to be one step closer to ending my journey and be back in Stalia. But here is another thing I should mention, and that is the weather.
The weather was fair, in fact while it was still cold, it was less intense than from before. In fact, you could say I was fine not having a coat on to keep me warm. But there was still snow everywhere so it was sort of cold to the touch when my hands… hooves… whatever… touched the snow. But that’s not all I should mention.
There was the sky as well. The sky for the most was sort of partly cloudy. You could make out the grey color within the clouds and it felt a little depressing looking at that considering it pretty much meant that it was either cold, going to rain, or both. And sometimes it’s just depressing, in which case the clouds are depressed and that they are so depressed that they whine like a little bitch, pull out a gun, and blow out their cloud brains.
And if they are extra edgy the day that they kill themselves, instead of a gun and some lead, they instead use a very dull, rusty, old knife to cut themselves and cut themselves really deep to where soon cloud blood just starts pouring everywhere… but don’t worry though, that red cloud blood doesn’t become an issue once Jesus somehow comes from out of nowhere and turns that blood into water. I mean if he can turn water into wine, why not turn blood into water. In fact, why water?
Why not have Jesus turn piss into lemonade and bleach into a drinkable beverage that’ll give you AIDs? It’s just logical for that to happen… especially when Jesus tells you are going to Hell unless you do what he says, especially when it comes to agreeing with everything that he says. Anyways, the cloud was sort of that grey, depressing color, but as said before, the clouds didn’t cover up the sky, only a little bit. However, the sky also was dark.
And no the sky wasn’t a black guy… that would be racist and wrong. The sky is clearly Asians… I mean, the Asians did invent the sky after all…mostly because they are smart creatures and know what they are doing. As a matter of fact, I would believe you if you told me that Asians were secretly aliens from space because of how smart they are, especially compared to the blacks and the illegal Mexicans.
But you get the idea. Aside from that, the sky was instead having the sun shining through the clouds and such, the sky instead turned into night as I did say the sun was going down. Well, as I was walking from the middle of nowhere to being close to a trail, the sky had slowly turned into night. And night it was as some of the stars were out, although not all, along with a full moon that Luna made sure to raise as it was her duty as a princess of the night. And what a wonderful night it looked like, well…at least from where I was standing.
For all I know it could have been a horrible night in some other part of Equestria, like Manehatten. More than likely some zebra stabbed someone and that someone wasn’t too happy about being stabbed. Instead he was upset and wanted an apology from the zebra from mugging him… or her. I don’t know if the pony would have balls or be a pussy.
But you get the idea…because friendship is magic… even if you’re getting stabbed by a zebra, you should always love and tolerate… even when they are clearly stealing your hard earned money from right in front of you and the zebra takes your woman away from you to rape her… you still put on a smile and say, “I’m sorry you were kind of oppressed.” That or an alternative thing to say would be, “Goodbye new friend… I hope we can hang out sometime later in the future when you’re not stabbing me.”
I’m sure that someone that in Equestria right now in Manehatten is experiencing that… even when I’m writing this down I’m sure. Anyways, the sky was beautiful as always.
The night sky was out with all the stars dancing out and a bright full moon as well. It felt calming to me, but yet at the same time depressing. I don’t know how to explain it. It felt like a mixture of peace and depression. The peace came from that it was the usual night sky, with the stars glittering and the moon being suspended there in space.
It looked beautiful as always. But the depression part came from the face surrounding that the sky was the clouds that were hanging around and them being grey. Not only to mention it was cold outside so it kind of added to the mood as well as the snow that was untouched by another living thing made the whole thing look like it came from a painting of sorts.
And as I looked up towards the sky, I questioned myself, what was I doing there? Why was I in the middle of nowhere and being so far away from my home, at least what I could call my home that is back in Stalia that is. But I questioned myself though why I was there and what I should be doing instead. I looked up towards the stars and wondered why there were so many?
I mean back on Earth the stars were different and they were very far away, but I wondered if that same logic applied here as I had never thought about that before. But then I was reminded back to the times when I was at Celestia’s school and was in my room late at night.
There was a telescope that Twilight had used before and every now and then I would look through it while everyone else was ready to go to their beds and go into a deep slumber. I remember me and Wolf would take turns looking through the telescope and pointing what we saw and questioned if to say there were any alien life out there in this world.
And every now and then our minds would be blown if we saw a shooting star pass us by in the night sky. It was memorable back then. I have some nostalgia for it too, even now as I’m writing this I kind of want to go back those times of just being in the room with Wolf late at night, not knowing what was going to happen next in our lives as we just did things as they came. Not knowing what the future would hold for the both of us.
But then again what the future did hold for us was nothing more than Wolf just sitting on his lazy ass all day while smoking weed while I’m out doing all the dirty work. I mean he doesn’t even clean up or go outside and get a job. I mean… he doesn’t need to go and get a job, Celestia provides us with some bits as long as I’m her student at that time. But it would have been nice to see Wolf do something for once back then… you know… but then again he was a timber wolf after all… and everyone knows that timber wolves are assholes.
A lesson needs to be learned by everyone, never let a timber wolf into your home or else it’ll just sit on the couch and smoke weed and act like an asshole towards you. So don’t do it. Or else the timber wolf will take you hostage and fuck your kids, not your wife…kids. Your wife will instead fuck the dog out of her own free will because she is either white or you’re too much of a soy for her. Ok...moving on. But still, when I was looking up towards the sky it still made me feel nostalgic for the past though.
Remembering those ol’ days from the past kind of made me sad during that time, just looking up at the stars and the moon like that. It made me feel like I had forgotten something in the past I needed to go back to and get it, to relive certain moments and find what I was missing out on and get it right. I felt something like that you know? And in the end, I felt like I wanted to go back to the past, when it was simple.
Sure I was a personal student of Celestia at her school and it wasn’t originally part of the plan. But hey, it was kind of interesting at least, a pony that is actually a human that came from another universe that is over 50,000 years old that has a strong magic that is also friends with a talking timber wolf that is also an asshole but doesn’t admit that he is an asshole, that is a personal student for one of the four princesses that rules over a magical land filled with talking Technicolor ponies… sounds interesting to me.
And all you really need after that is to add a random token black guy or zebra… I’m not racist… and then it would be interesting for the audience. Because… you know… who knows what wacky and crazy hijinks that the black guy or zebra would get into. And just to clarify… there is a difference between a zebra and a black guy. One is white with black stripes and one is just plain old black. Simple as that.
I mean, this is common knowledge after all. I’m sure this all what the kidz from the hood learn nowadays in their schoolz… because it’s hip to… cap a zebra in their ass to show who the kingpin is so they don’t walk on to the wrong side of the neighborhood and be the wrong kind of playa… you get me homie? Oh wait… homie is illegal Mexican code for black guy, my bad.
But you get where I was going with this, things were different back then compared to that point in time that I was at. Things had slowly changed; it had felt like I had blinked and missed everything as it flied right by me. Life is kind of an asshole like that you know?
Sometimes you just feel like going back to the past, but life just gives you the middle finger and tells you to keep moving forward or else be left behind and be left for dead. But yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about those times though from way back when. The sky just reminded me of it then and it still reminds me of it now. The night sky reminds me of the past and the many late of nights of staying up with Wolf and going crazy shit like seeing who can burn the school down fast enough in which case we couldn’t do it.
All we could burn was two small sticks that looked like a cross in front of a zebra sometimes and called it symbolism. And the morning sky that was filled with light and maybe hope… maybe, and itsometimes reminded me of the past, but mostly made me think of the future and how time kept moving forward. But I suppose I’m that kind of pony that sometimes lives in the past, that sometimes can’t stop thinking of the good times that I have had in the past and therefore I end up looking towards the stars and thinking to myself what if, what if I could go back and relive those sweet, sweet memories.
And when I looked up at that night sky that time, I wondered how it would all be if I could go back to Celestia’s school and relive those memories, in which case I thought to myself that I would go back in time during the time I was in school, kill my past self by lighting him on fire and burying the body at some old guy’s house and then replacing my past self with my present self and then everything would be ok as I wouldn’t fade away… I think.
I think as long as I don’t fuck myself, I won’t mess up the timeline. And if anyone else asked, I just would have to kill them and consider them as witnesses. And if Wolf ever asked… well let’s be honest here, he wouldn’t care and would just go back to smoking weed and farting.
But if the princesses ever asked, well I could just lie and shit. And if anyone else discovered the dead body…well I’m not sure. Maybe I would just shoot up the whole school then while playing Pumped Up Kicks and right before I go out, because I’m sure it’ll happen where I get cornered, my last words would be before I would die would be, “It’s Never Ogre.”
And that’s assuming I don’t create a paradox of me going back in time and fucking something up that would change any of the events that would come after me going back in time… and… then the timeline gets altered to where Hitler came back from the grave as a robot disco 80’s Hitler with a nice mullet to take over Equestria and achieve his true dream: A world filled with nothing but very nice black people. An impossible dream, yes, but a dream none the less. And if I were to go back in time and do everything right, then I would feel peace for once, a warmth and comfort, with a smile on my face knowing that not everything so bad in life.
But then life kicks you in the balls sometimes by having shit mess up and you not being able to anything about it. Like what if you say hello to the sun one day and then the sun says to you, ‘go fuck yourself’ and then you say the sun is an asshole then the sun grows a weird, long, thin pair of legs and kicks you in the balls. You couldn’t do anything about it, the sun would be allowed to kick you in the balls all it wants and you would just have to deal with it.
Anyways, but then there would also be the possibility where I could still mess up the whole timeline by me doing something stupid or idiotic and soon the events that happened before at this point of me looking up towards the night sky is all fucked up and then I would have to go back further in time to stop the earlier me for going back in time to go back in time to relive some fond memories. But then the question stands though, if I were to go back in time and nothing goes wrong and I got to relive what I wanted to relive, then I would have to go through everything once again.
I mean I couldn’t just up and leave the past to come back to the present; I would have already killed my past self so I wouldn’t create a paradox. Well… maybe… or maybe it’s a paradox to say if we all went into a hot tub time machine, went back to the 80’s, and banged all our moms when they were hot. That would maybe erase our existence, but then again despite experiencing many years of weird shit and alternate universes, you would be surprised how much I still don’t understand math and physics and shit. Only TK would understand that shit.
Anyways, I continued to look up towards the night sky and just think to myself and reminded me of the past. But then I thought about it some more and got the thought of wanting to relive some past memories out of my head, at least for the time being. Mostly because I thought to myself why did I have to relive those past memories…you know? I mean the past may seem better than it is in the present time, but really in truth the past is the same as the present.
You have your good days, your bad days, and your average days where you want to blow your own brains out with a double barreled shot gun, but yet at the same time, you’re really not sure if you really want to because you feel like not doing it that day because something that you like to watch is on TV and so you decide to postpone it another day or something. And then when the next day comes and when you’re ready to hang yourself while having a double barreled shotgun in your mouth, you’re just about to pull the trigger but then you start to get a slightly happy feeling of living life and shit and then you decide not to do it.
But then when you have to go back to work the next day and get shit from your boss and also realizing that you got a girl pregnant one night and you’ll have to face child support soon, so you’ll end up regretting not ending your life sooner.
And for the ladies out there, you’ll end up regretting not putting your head in the oven or killing yourself in the drier because you realize that you just end up becoming a house wife that is now pregnant and that your life is leading nowhere and if you dare try to leave, your abusive boyfriend will just give you a good ol’ slap across the face, fart, and go to sleep and you’ll keep telling yourself one day it’ll get better, but really it only slightly gets better as you too fart and go to sleep.
Yup… those average, basic days that everyone gets. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about… right people that majored in Communications? Right… well… moving on then. Well, I then stood there and asked myself why did I have the feeling of nostalgia. But then remembering the past just gave me feelings like I wanted to go back to the past even more. The more I thought about it, the more it made me sad.
But to be fair though, I had better days in the past then I had in the present. It was better it had seemed. So much had happened up until that point. It seemed simpler to be in a school that was filed with magical talking ponies than doing what I was doing then. And what I was doing then was trying to not get killed by TF or not having to be screwed by something else.
I looked up to that moon that night and the thought of it all, I just wouldn’t let go. It’s like just looking at that starry night made sense to me. That the night spoke to me and it helped me realize how much has changed since the very beginning. I remembered how everything went in the past where it was just me and I was for the most part all alone in the world.
But then I found that portal to the outside of the universe… which now that I think about it, how is that even physically or scientifically possible. I don’t know, some Asian guy has to explain that part to me someday. Anyways, I remembered the past and thought about it all. And now all of a sudden I was facing challenges that I had not faced before. Problems that I would never have thought it would ever happened like TF for once starting to be a real pain the ass, having some ghost dad that isn’t Bill Cosby’s sex life trying to get me to help save his daughter that is in some other dimension.
And all on top of that I also had to face the fact that I was stuck in Stalia when really I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to either go back to Celesta’s school or at the very least be left at peace so I didn’t have to do anything anymore. I was tired. I just wanted to stop all the shit I was doing like the adventures and just get some rest.
I just wanted for once to go back to a sort of life that I had back on Earth. And when I mean sort of, I mean by just not having to go through life or death situations that involves something weird or bizarre things like a monster that came from under my bed that isn’t William Defoe. I just wanted to go and retire from the days of when I was running around, chasing dreams, being threatened by aliens or whatever, and retire from all the times that I almost got killed. I just wanted at the time a life that was easy, but yet at the same time a bit complex.
I was fine not going back to Earth, hell I couldn’t give two shits and a pickle about going back with other human beings, but I wanted to relax and kick back and enjoy all the time that I kind of earned myself with many years of hard work of fucking up and exploring. That’s what I wanted to do.
I didn’t want to go back to Earth or see family members again that I had already forgotten about. No, instead I just wanted to just rest for once and not have to try and fight. I just wanted to be at peace. And at the time, the past seemed like the best place to be. I mean not long ago I was running away from ponies that tried to kill me that was led by TF himself and all of a sudden I was talking to myself, all while being far, far away from my “home” in Stalia. Not only that, but TK wasn’t there to help me.
I was all alone and in trouble. The past seemed to have been a lot easier for me back then; that it was all a lot better than it was at that every moment. And looking up towards the night sky filled me with memories from my past, when it was calm and relaxing; the many restless nights of just enjoying myself along with Wolf and having fun for once instead of running away from a gun. It seemed peaceful to me and I just wanted to go back to it all and just feel want I had felt all those years ago, happiness.
Back when it all seemed right and maybe even have a chance to change the future a bit. That and…of course I was all alone again. All alone by my lonesome self alright. And with no one by my side, not even TK, it made the feeling all the more sad and heartbreaking to me; that I was all alone. Somewhere deep inside my heart, my soul, my arteries, in one of my four chambers that is within the heart…somewhere in my pulmonary artery…I felt sad and alone. As I looked up towards that moon, somewhere in my mind it all came to me.
The emotions, the feelings, the memories, the questions as to why I was even there in the first place; somehow in that moment it all made sense to me. But yet at the same time, it was all but a blur in my mind as none of it made sense to me. All I could really say was when I looked upon the glittering star and the bright, white moon above me so high, I questioned about myself and everything up until that point. That moment that I had of silence started to get to get to my head as I stood there and had a moment to myself to wonder off in my mind to think of the things that I had just thought about right then and there.
In a way, it was a peaceful moment that I was searching for quite some time. And to be honest, it felt nice. It felt nice to be calm and collected and to look up at the sky and think to myself everything that I had done and everything that I have wanted and thought about. It’s a bit much to be honest, but at the same time it made some sense to me. In other words, it made me feel like I was at some sort of level of peace with myself… at least for a little while. And as I stood there, I just wanted to continue thinking what I was thinking, never stopping about thinking about the past.
I just wanted to stay there and think about the past, perhaps a part of me thought that if I thought about it long enough, I would back to the past where I would have felt happy again and felt that I was at peace. But…that wasn’t the reality for me. Sure I was in a reality of where I was a talking Technicolor talking pony amongst other talking Technicolor talking ponies… but at the same time that wasn’t the case for me. I was in a reality where I was fucked either way no matter what I did, and the dreams that I have already had that I wanted to achieve never came to be.
So I couldn’t go back to the past. Granted though the portals and being outside and everything, I could actually do it, but the problem with that is… well… I’m sure there would be a number of problems that would come up, especially with the question if I could even somehow do it in the first place. Let alone going back in time and seeing myself. I don’t know… time travel is really weird and confusing.
But still, it wasn’t possible for me to do so at the time. So all I could do was look up towards the night sky and cry a little. But the sad part was that I still felt sad and felt like just standing there and not do anything at all. I felt like dying a little bit to be honest… but let’s be honest here, who doesn’t want to die? Even if it’s just a little bit on the inside? But still, I didn’t feel like wanting to move on, I felt like I wanted to just stay there the entire night and think about the past and bring up fond memories that I had until the sun rose and then I would continue on with my long and… no-so-fun journey. And you know what… I did……….. ok I’m just fucking with you.
I didn’t do that, look, I wasn’t exactly TK material where I could survive and be as smart and skilled as he was, but if anything TK had taught me when he trained me to what that I could actually do: it was to never stop moving. TK had told me when he had trained me on how to survive was to never stop moving and keep moving forward. Sure maybe stop if I needed to do so for a good reason assumingly, but for the most part, I had to keep moving and as much as I wanted to just sit there and look happily at the bright moon, I had to just let it all go.
I had to let all the time that I had given myself to calm down and reflect upon my past go. I had to give the moment up. But I was going to at least leave it on a happy note and with a smile on my face as I looked down towards the path that I had found.
And as I did, my smile quickly turned into an annoyed look as I looked down and FOUND ANOTHER FUCKING SET OF FUCKING TRAIN TRACKS! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! IT WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING THAT I HAD FOUND ANOTHER TRAIN TRACK BECAUSE AT THIS POINT IN TIME IN MY LIFE, ALL I KNEW WAS BAD SHIT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! I mean either something bad happens or something weird happens.
And I looked to make sure I wasn’t just seeing things. I stared at the train tracks long enough, blinked a few times; I even closed my eyes and rubbed them for a while just to make sure my eyes just didn’t have something in it. But once I opened them… there it was… in front of me… fucking train tracks. I mean that’s how I got into this mess in the first place. Sure I was pretty fucking sure that TF wasn’t around to screw me over again, but yet at the same time, I could just tell something was going to happen.
That this wasn’t going to be that easy to get back home. I mean there I was, happy with the stuff that I was thinking about, reflecting on myself and life choices and such and having this warm feeling in my heart as I looked up and saw a beautiful night sky, all for that to be suddenly shot down faster than Charlie Sheen’s career with looking upon the sight of fucking train tracks. But as I had said before, I had needed to keep moving and so despite what had happened, I decided that I needed to go forward.
But before I did, I looked both sides of me, my left and right and I then looked down as the tracks went in both directions and wondered out loud to myself, “Is this a fucking joke?”
I then looked up towards the sky one last time, not paying attention to the moon or the stars mind you, and said out loud, “Is this your doing Universe? Huh?! Because you fucked with the wrong pony mother fucker! I’m going to find you and I’m going to kick your fucking ass because I swear I’ve had it up to here with you being like this. I mean god damn it is it annoying to have things done this way. I mean, are you fucking serious!?
‘Oh… who the fuck am I kidding? The Universe is just a figment of expression to me and isn’t even real… what am I even talking about? Threatening to kick a figure of speech’s ass. I’m an idiot… but an idiot that at least knows how to smoke weed. Oh well… I guess this is my only option… better get going I suppose before I freeze to death out here.
‘But the only question is which way do I go? Do I go left or do I go right? Hmmmm… I wonder if I go left, the devil is going to be waiting for me? And if I go right, I wonder if Bob Marley is going to be waiting for me? Oh who the fuck cares, I’m going left. You know what they say… if you don’t go left, you get Elliot Roger that is going to come out of your closet to get his redemption.”
Well anyways I went left on the train tracks and for a while it was just what seemed like an endless straight path of train tracks. An endless display of metal and wood on the ground; put into a formation that would be possible for a form of locomotion travel for miles on end. And on both sides of the tracks all I saw was just what seemed like endless field of snow with little hills every now and then, but mostly just a flat landscape of what I had seen before previously in my journey.
And for a while it was just me and the silence of the night. For a while it started to drive me a bit crazy, as if I was going to hallucinate once again. It was as if I was going to see that weird pony Ghost again…but then the weirdness started to show its face again. One more, as I walked along the train tracks that seemed never ending like the never ending story, there it was, your host, the pony that they called… Ghost. And he was in his wheel chair with the same skeleton body and head and shit.
The only difference, the retarded host wasn’t there, the one that was called the Engineer from as time, he just wasn’t here. But with Ghost, it was just sitting there in the wheelchair, having its back turned towards me, while it was looking in another direction. Not making a single move, not a muscle was used…assuming there was a muscle ever at all. Nope, Ghost was just sitting there in pure silence.
It was as if this came from a sort of cheap, terribly made horror movie where all they do is rely on jump scares and then ninety five percent of the audience pretends that they are scared and that they pooped their pants, but really deep down inside, they are just trying to pretend that they didn’t just waste eleven bucks of their hard earned money, so they live in denial for the rest of their miserable lives as they try and figure out why they haven’t done anything with their lives yet and instead just wasted thinking something would happen eventually, but later realizing that would never ever happen to them and so they cry in a corner every night asking God why are they such losers in life.
Yeah… that’s what the whole thing felt like. Anyways, I was hesitant at first to go up to it and see what was the bag of old skull and bones was doing there in the first place. But yet I thought about it and thought to myself that this weird stuff wouldn’t ever end if I just grow a pair of balls and go up to it and see for myself.
And if Neon were to come out from nowhere to fuck with my head like every other time… well let’s be fair here, who wouldn’t have seen that coming? Well anyways, Ghost was just sitting there, and so as it was just sitting there in the wheelchair, doing absolutely nothing at all. So I decided to slowly move towards it while trying to keep quiet as much as possible. Inch by inch I made my way towards Ghost, and with every step I took, my hooves quietly made a slight noise on the wooden parts of the tracks, but yet it didn’t see me at all whatsoever.
And as I continued to move, the more I moved towards it, the more that I started to have second thoughts about it all. I mean I wasn’t really sure if this was a good idea at all to begin with, but then again, I was at the train tracks, might as well go for it and let whatever happens, happen. And so as I quietly moved towards Ghost, I started to here a slight noise. At first I had thought it was the wind, but then it started to become clearer, as if someone was weeping silently in the wind.
And as I got closer, it all started to make sense, Ghost was silently crying to himself as he was staring off into the distance. It, or he, it didn’t matter really, was staring towards the snowy field under the starry night. And as I got closer, the crying got a little bit louder. And the more I heard about it, the less I cared because Ghost looked like an asshole. However I finally had the balls to just go up to it and ask it what the problem is.
So I walked right up to it and quietly raised my right hoof up and gave a few light taps on its shoulder in which case, it slowly turned its head towards me, in a weird, creepy sort of way as the head was a skull after all. And as Ghost turned its head towards me, it felt like I was going to see something scary. But instead all I saw was autism and retardation as I saw a very miserable looking skull face that was staring at me with oddly enough a lot of tears coming from where the eyes would be at if he had any.
He just stared at me though, as he didn’t say a single word or anything like that. So I just stood there in complete silence and waited for him to say something. But instead all I got was him staring at me with a very sad face that gave me AIDs and him quietly weeping.
I then asked him as I had enough of the silence by that point, “So… why are you crying?”
Ghost then said to me, with an aggressive tone, “I’M NOT CRYING! I JUST POKED MY EYES!”
I then said to Ghost, “Sure… ’you poked yours eyes out’… you pussy.”
Ghost then yelled back at me, “I’M NOT CRYING GOD DAMN IT!”
I then said back to Ghost, “Becareful there Ghostie, you don’t want to use the lord’s name in vein do you? Or else your god is going to strike you down.”
Ghost then said back to me with emotion and anger in his voice, “SHUT UP YOU TROLL TERROIST AND CYBER VERMIN… MY GOD LOVES ME AND HES A CAPITALIST! HE INSTEAD WANTS TO STRIKE ALL THOSE DISGUSTING PEDOPHILES AND WILD JAHOODIES INSTEAD!”
I then said to ol’ Ghostie, “Yeah whatever you say hambone? Anyways, do you know where this train track leads to by any chance?”
Ghostie then said to me, “No! And besides… I’m not a piss train or a n… that N word train either!”
I then was taken a little bit back what he had just said and was overall confused.
But then I just shrugged it off and decided to just roll with it and then said to Ghost, “Well what’s wrong with being a Nigger train?”
Ghost then said to me, “Stop being racist you…”
I then cut off Ghost and then said to me, “Oh shut up you old fart and go back to being raped by a trap will you. I mean that’s all you’re good for considering your wife is a whale and left you because you’re not a man enough for her.”
And then after I had said that, Ghost started to cry again, in which case I then said to him, “Oh quit crying there Ghostie… and besides, why are you crying anyways?”
Ghostie then said to me, “It’s because… it’s the Engineer.”
I then asked Ghost, “What about him?”
Ghost then said to me, “He… he left me. He left me when he won the spelling bee and left me in the dust. Now all I have is my “gun” and a church in San Hambonio to shoot up that are filled with Christian squirrels.”
I then said to Ghostie, “Oh… I get it… it’s because you’re a Jew… a kike… you wanted some sheckles, and the nice Christians wouldn’t give it you because you took all of their money to fund JewTube.”
Ghost then responded to me with, “HEY! I SAID I’M NOT A FUCKING JEW… look… now you just made me fucking curse!”
And then from out of nowhere, Ghost started to kick and scream as loud as he could, but the strange part was that as he was kicking, there was a sound of a bunch of cans beings rattled up at once and being shaken around as if there was an entire room filled with empty beer cans and someone was just kicking them around in the pool of empty beer cans.
And then after he was done, he then turned to me and said, “You see now? Look at the mess that you made.”
I then asked Ghostie, “So… you can make tin cans magically appear from out of nowhere? Wow… what a useless ability that you have. It’s so useless that it should be considered a disability.”
Ghost then said to me, “Shut up!”
I then said to Ghost, “Whoa… calm down there Ghostie. Look, just grab a beer and have yourself a nice balder Friday…aright?”
Ghost was then silent for a few quick seconds until he then said back to me, “Bald…BALDER FRIDAY! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! I’M NOT BALD YOU FUCKING IDIOT!”
I then sad to Ghost, “I don’t know… you look bald to me. Looks like you need an African Booty Scratcher to help you out with that problem of getting your hair back there Ghostie.”
Ghost then said to me, “The African Booty Scratcher? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”
And as he was saying and yelling at the top of his lungs the word no, he was magically kicking cans around as if it came out from nowhere as well.
After a few seconds of saying and yelling the word no while throwing cans around and acting like a complete maniac, he then said to me, “You know… it’s people like you… Troll terrorists and Cyber Vermin like you that I’m off the wagon and need a drink. MOAR BEER!”
Then from out of thin air, a big bottle of liquor appeared into his hand… hooves… whatever it was that he had.
He then took off the cap to the glass bottle that held that sweet tasting booze and before he took a big swig of it, he said out loud, “Johnny Waaaaaaalker! Blue Haaaaarvest! Oooooohhh Yeaaaaaaah!”
And then after he did his little ritual thing, he started to chug the whole bottle down and not even letting himself even get a gasp of air at all. And it confused me too because he was a skeleton that seemed like he just came out of the closet, but yet he had no organs to consume the liquor or put the liquor in at the very least and get it into his own system to intoxicate himself and become drunk.
But yet it all went somewhere so I’m assuming Ghost was a magical, majestic creature that was rare and needed to be shot… both in the knee caps… and out it on the wall as a trophy. But yet at the same time anyone would obviously not waste that spot on Ghost and instead save it for Rich Evans because he is truly a national treasure that needs to be preserved for all of eternity by preserving him with diabetes. But you know… it’s whatever you would want to do… either kill Ghost or Rich Evans and hang them up as a trophy… it’s whatever really in a sense.
But anyways, Ghost just chugged the whole thing down and after he was finished, he then said to me, “Ah… good stuff. Now… where were we? Where’s my production notes at? HEY ENGINEER! WHERE’S MY GOD DAMN PRODUCTION NOTES AT! ENGINEER… I SAID… oh wait… I forgot that he left me to be with Alex Jones and be all with his hoes on a Saturday night.”
And then after Ghost finished what he was saying, he stayed silent for a bit. And then he started to gently weep once more and tears started to flow from his eyes as well.
I then decided to comfort him as I slowly patted him on the back. I said to Ghostie, “Hey… hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey……. hey…. there there… it’ll be alright… you little bitch.”
Ghostie the stopped weeping tears of Johnny Walker, Blue Label Second Harvest (Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaah….) and started to get a little hostile towards me as he looked me straight in the eyes with his hollow skull where his eyeballs should be as I just stared deeply into what seemed to be an empty abyss that was actually the inside of his skull.
And as he stared me straight into my eyes, he started to get furious and he then said to me, “You cartoon, butt loving pedophile peter popper jerk dick! NO ONE TALKS TO ME THAT WAY! I DESERVE RESPECT! I DESERVE RESPECT GOD DAMN IT! I DO SHOWS EVERY DAY… EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY AND NO ONE SHOWS ME A LITTLE APPRECIATION AROUND HERE! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, THE ENGINEER IS ALWAYS DISREPESTCING ME AND NOW I HAVE YOU ON MY BACK! I DESERVE RESPECT!”
And then… silence… Just pure and utter silence. It was so silent that it was starting to scare me. That kind of silence you get when it’s in the middle of the night and all is quiet in your home and all the lights are turned off. And you sit there on your bed, thinking if something will come out and get you. Like all of a sudden someone might start screaming or some kind of monster might pop out from out of nowhere to try and break that silence and end up killing you in the most brutal way possible.
And you imagine all of that happening in your head as the silence continues to drone on and on and on, to the point the silence starts to make you go mad a little. To the point where if you don’t start putting on some music to drown out the pure and utter silence, you’ll start getting scared of the many possible things that might happen to you if you don’t do anything.
And then as the time goes on you start to think about it a little bit and then all of sudden you start thinking about how you are even there in the first place and your existence and your consciousness and why you’re even there to the point where it starts to hurt and you just need to close your eyes and make everything go away, and try to think of something to keep your mind busy so you don’t have to think about the silence anymore and so you won’t go crazy.
But really all that happens in the end is that the lights gets turned on and God is just standing there at the foot of your bed with a sock puppet on and says to you through the sock puppet, “Billy… you touched yourself at night. That is very baaaaaaad. That’s a sin… and sins mean you’re going to be in the lake of fire. But don’t worry… I have magical talking vegetables to turn you holy once more, and these magical talking vegetables will tell you the good word of Jesus and will put you through the re-education process”
And then at that moment you realize that God is just a Jehovah Witness. So you just die a little on the inside as you crawl back in to your bed into a fetal position and try to make all the bad things go away until the days come finally to hang yourself at that Holiday In hotel you’ve been always wanting to kill yourself in... you know… that thing... that thing that you’ve always wanted to do there ever since you brought a hooker there and cried yourself sleep instead of banging the hookers. Yeah… that was that kind of silence that was happening at that moment.
And for a while it felt like that kind of silence wasn’t going to go away, but eventually it did when Ghost said to me, “Look… I’m going to pretend that you didn’t say that. I’m going to say this one more gain ok. No one talks to me that way. I deserve… SOME FUCKING RESPECT! YOU GOT IT YOU JERK DICK!?”
And after he had said to that to me, I just stood there, not paying a single attention to what he was saying at all. I then came to realize he had something as my mind had just came back to reality as it had just drifted off into another realm of reality for a few seconds.
So I then said to ol’ Ghost, “So uh… are we done here yet… because it feels like this is taking forever. I mean I need to get going here and get back on track, pun sort of intended, and get back to Stalia and this feels like it has been going on for ages. Like we stopped here for like… a few months and haven’t progressed since and we’re just standing here, just fucking around. I mean… don’t get me wrong, I think you’re one crazy hambone. Buy I don’t want to waste my time with a waste of life.
” Ghost then said to me, “Waste of life?”
Then he started to look more angry than before. As in, he was starting to really get mad as he had ever been. And he just stood there for a few more second, looking like he was trying to contain all the rage that he had inside of him that was just building up ever so quickly. And then…cans.wav came up full fucking force as Ghost screamed to the top of his lungs and the sounds of cans being kicked around came out from nowhere.
And after Ghostie had screamed for a few seconds, he looked at me with red, hot fiery eyes as I could see the flames of anger and hate baring within his own eye sockets... literally… and he said to me while looking like he was going to rip me a new one, “I’M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO THE WOODSHED BOY!!! I’M GOING TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU AND SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISREPECT ME BOY!!!”
And then Ghost out of nowhere took out a big, long, flexible, black belt and raised it in the air, signaling that he was going to try and whip my ass with it. Who knows, maybe it was a sex thing he was into, in which case his tastes were kinky, but I didn’t roll like that.
I mean he looked like an interesting skeleton, but I’m not sexually into skeletons if you know what I’m saying. I don’t swing that way. I’m willing to just be friends though… if you know what I mean. I mean it’s like when a zebra asks a pony for some of their booty… you just don’t swing that way… instead you swing your aluminum bat from under and break the zebra’s skull in and then walk away and tell yourself it was in self-defense and that the zebra did it.
And as you struggle to go to sleep every night, every time you close your eyes, you end up seeing the horrific site that you made by cracking a zebra’s skull in and watch the blood as it came out, rushing out of the body and thinking to yourself, “That looks like some good Kool-aid right there…”
And the smell of the slowly decaying flesh of your first ever victim… that happened to be a zebra… and then you end up getting caught by the police and put into jail for a hate crime… but you just end up cracking all of the zebra’s skulls in prison because it was in self-defense despite them offering you some cookies and milk.
It’s kind of like that. Well anyways, ghost went ahead and continued to yell out, “I’M GOING TO COMMENCE MARSHAL LAW ON YOUR ASS BOY!”
I then asked him, “Are you sure you didn’t mean to say Shira Law?”
And then that finally had put Ghost over the edge.
He raised the belt as high as he could and started moving the wheelchair with full fucking force towards, while screaming to the top of his lung, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
And I then said to myself quietly, “Oh… well that’s something you don’t see everyday… a crippled hambone Jew coming towards me with his belt like a maniac because his feelings got hurt. He is just being a feelsbadman. Although I’m not sure what to do here. He’s coming towards me… very slowly. I mean… that wheel chair of his is super slow… but I bet it can run over a lot of kids or something like that. I wonder if I get out of the way… he’ll just keep moving in one direction and eventually fall off a cliff and die. Oh fuck it… I’ll just slowly walk in circles as he tries to catch up to me.”
And so I did. I started walking towards him but around him and as I did so, he slowly made his way and turned himself around to try and face me, while still screaming to the top of his lings, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
And as I was moving across the train tracks, because… you know, I was still at the tracks and shit and was sort of crossing it, Ghost was crossing them too. But as I was walking and he was moving in my direction, his electric wheelchair stopped dead right in the middle of the train tracks. And once I stopped hearing the humming sound of the wheelchair, I stopped myself and turned around to see what had happened. When I did, Ghost had stopped screaming to the top of his lungs of course and was looking down at the controls of his wheelchair, all confused and shit. He eyes glowed, you could see a sense of worry were filling his mind as he seemed a little bit scarred as to why his wheelchair just suddenly cease to work.
He then asked out loud, “What’s wrong this thing? Why did it stop moving!?”
He then looked towards me, looking like I had the all answers to his problems… but you know… I don’t have all the solutions to the world’s problems. The only solution I know is of The Solution, turning the oven on…and gassing some Juice. Because Juice needs gassing sometimes to make it taste good.
I mean Hitler wanted some juice one time, but since he was German, he went ahead and gassed the Jews instead because they couldn’t give him his juice. Anyways, Ghost was stuck in the middle of the train tracks, which obviously wasn’t a good sign to begin with. And then…the sound started to come. It was small and light, far into the distance. And yet, ghost could feel the rumbling in the train tracks, feeling the vibrations that seemed to get stronger by the passing seconds.
And he and I knew that the train was coming. And as the train was coming, we both looked each other in the eyes, wondering if I was going to be the hero of the day and save Ghost from the train that was coming as the train was more than likely was going to ram him over and shit. But instead I just looked passed Ghost’s eyes and saw some cute retarded Pugwagees in the bushes. What are Pugwagees you may ask? Well let’s just say they are retarded and stupid force little critters that was made by some sort of unknown force known as HaBro because for no reason at all.
Those were some cute little fuckers that I saw and as I was looking at those cute little fuckers, Ghost was trying his best to hurry up and get off the train tracks. However the more he tried, the train got ever so closer to running over Ghost. Ghost was trying so desperately to try and get his dead wheelchair working, he was struggling, and stressing himself out over the chance of death that was probably was going to happen. But honestly, who knows if skeleton really dies, you know? But Ghost though; he was trying to live as it appeared to me. He was trying to move the wheels on it on, as if he was sitting in a push wheelchair where either someone would have to push it for him or pushing it himself.
But it wasn’t working, probably because his wheelchair was a hover round and hover rounds didn’t work that way. Although we all wish it could work that way so we could get the insurance money more easily and not have to pretend that it was Bush that did it.
And as the train was getting closer and closer as the train’s bells and whistles could be heard from a far distance, Ghost was yelling at me with a worried look and tone from his voice, “HEY! GET OVER HERE AND SAVE ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP WAXING YOUR CARROT AND HELP ME! HEY!!! ARE YOU EVEN LSITENING TO ME!?”
And as he was yelling that out as loud as he could, I was in my own little world, I was looking at the retarded Pugwagees. They reminded me like they were in the My Little Pony show or something, but as I was thinking that, I put that thought aside because it would have been too retarded for a show like My Little Pony to put Pugwagees in. Besides they are part communists. I mean Pugwagees do not like Capitalists whatsoever and that’s possibly why I was being distracted because they didn’t want me to save Ghost or help him… but then again I wasn’t planning on saving him so the Pugwagees were a nice little bonus for me anyway along with it being a nice little excuse to use.
But, as the train got closer, the tension of Ghost’s being hit by the train grew ever so fast, as Ghost was starting to sweat a little and for a skeleton to start sweating is was weird. Like…really weird. So weird that it’s like sex with a trombone. I mean it happens sometimes, but then again you kind of question yourself…why are you having sex with a trombone in the first place?
I mean the trombone is married, you can’t have an affair with a trombone or else the husband is going to find out and… Oh wait the husband did find out and the flute kicked your ass, which was once a girl but now turned into a man-lesbian. That’s how weird it was seeing a skeleton sweat. Like… that kind of awkward and weird because skeletons don’t have sweat glands, but apparently Ghost did. I’m pretty sure they were invisible too in which case it makes me question life itself and what was happening.
When you really think about it, I was and still am in the land of Equestria and it’s truly a land filled with magic and wonder, where all the weird, but yet explainable happen at a moment’s notice. The only difference is Walt Disney isn’t here and trying to kill all the Jews in his Disneyland Holocaust ride, or have his frozen head magically appear and talk to me. That right there is true magic. So true that… friendship is… probably magic… it’s more of a psychological science than anything to be honest.
Anyways, Ghost was worried as the train got closer and closer, as Ghost felt the edging of what could be death coming close to him with every second that time passed us by. And as he was looking down to try and get his wheelchair to move, hoping in vain that a miracle would happen to try and save him from the head on collision that was about to happen to him, I just stood there just wondering in my mind, singing old songs from the 1980’s like the sort of weirdo that I was. And just so you know the song was True because why the fuck not?
Anyways, as I was just standing there, minding my own mind and Ghost was trying his best to move his now non-functional electric wheelchair, but after many failed attempts, he finally gave up trying to move it and he looked towards me and put his arm towards me as he said with a helpless face on his… skull thingy… and said to me, “WAIT! HELP ME GOD…!!!”
And then the train finally came and hit him as the train just kept moving on through without stopping as it sounded off its classic horn sound thingy as Ghost’s body was swept away from my face. And as I was watching, the train moved pretty fast, almost like a bullet train kind of as I heard the rattling sound of the tracks and such as the train just moved on through.
The train wasn’t too long though and the train’s cars eventually ended and once the train had fully passed me by, I looked to see the spot where Ghost once stood. And as I stood there expecting to see some kind of gruesome crime scene, I didn’t see anything. But then I remembered he was a skeleton so there would have been no blood, just maybe lots of bone marrow or something. But not even parts of his wheelchair were there.
So as far as my knowledge went on that day, he was still alive, alive and kicking and holding his collective well-being…all the while being stuck on the front of a train speeding several miles per hour. Then again, skeleton probably didn’t die so it was a safe bet that he was still alive somewhere. In fact, he was alive, but still. It made me wonder at that moment. But in the end good ol’ Ghostie was an asshole anyway so who gave a fuck about him, am I right…Jews? And your filthy, long, hairy noses, A.K.A. Adam Sandler. No? Well no wonder Hitler didn’t like you guys then…
Adam Sandler is a party pooper. Well to be fair he is a party pooper with every movie that he makes or stars in so in all honestly he is a party pooper human being, like human garbage almost but instead of reeking up the place with a certain metaphorical smell, he’s reeking up the place with ruining the jokes and comedy all alike, but in the end, all that really matters is that he caused the holocaust to happen.
My theory: Adam Sandler is a time traveling vampire that went back in time and mooned Hitler, and then once Hitler saw that a Jew mooned him, he knew what he had to do…his Final Solution…. getting some juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuice. Grape juice to be more exact…oh and he gassed all the Jews I guess, I don’t know, something that happened I guess.
Honestly though I’m not sure how Hitler did gas the Jews. I mean that gas bill must have been high, but I suppose if you can afford Grape juice in Germany, you must be rich as hell. Because we all know that the Grapes are superior fruit, but the oranges... well… we don’t talk about the oranges. I mean I know the oranges are the master race and all, but they tried to gas the bananas once and it’s not funny.
Many bananas died during the gassing of the bananas, but then the Apples came and soon shit blew up faster than Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. It was a dark day when the Oranges killed all the Italians. Of course I’m just making shit up there, although I did read that in a history book once I think. Oh well. Oh well… noel… something like that. Anyways, after that occurred, I started to look in both directions, making sure nothing else weird was around since the train tracks seemed to be where the weird things happened at all the time.
It seems to me it’s the kind of place where you would pay a hooker to take a massive shit on your chest as well as peeing in your mouth because you have some weird fetish or something like that. The train tracks seem like the perfect place to do that you know. Well, I looked both ways and I stood there for a few more seconds just to make sure any more trains weren’t coming my way as well, because you know, the whole train thing was unexpected. It also reminded me of the train accident that happened when I left Cantorlot.
I thought for a moment if anyone had found the train wreck at this point and if everything is back up and running. I mean I pretty sure it was since it had been several days, especially with being in the woods and everything. To me, it had felt like a week had passed by, but really it was just a few days and shit.
Anyways, I waited for a few more seconds and it seemed like the train was just after Ghost so I just got back on the train tracks and continued to head in the same direction that I was heading before I encountered Ghost. I had to get back on track to Stalia, as I was tired enough already. I also questioned why I hadn’t tried to eat anything up until this point in my travel, but… eh… who cares at this point.
Anyways, I continued to walk the path and for a while, everything seemed normal for a moment… until something else weird happened. This time around, I encountered Jesus out of all people or ponies or... whatever. I was just walking alongside the track, trying to think things to keep my mind as bay from the emptiness of the train tracks, until I just saw Jesus in the distance just standing there.
And when I did see him at first, I was wondering if my mind was playing any tricks on me, but as I got closer, it really was him, and all I could think to myself was, ‘Oh god is that Jesus? Well this day just keeps getting better and better now doesn’t it? First a hambone skeleton that talked to me and now I’m meeting Jesus. Boy I must have won the lottery. But then again, this can’t be real, could it?’
So I wondered about it, and ended up stopping in the middle of the tracks, with some distance between me and this Jesus. And yes, he was not in pony form, but in human form or god form I suppose since technically Jesus wouldn’t be human, but then again I wouldn’t know.
But since he is the son of God but was born on Earth with human parents, wouldn’t that make him half a god and half a human? I don’t know, but whatever the case may be, Jesus was right there and he was holding out his arms as if he was on an imaginary cross or something, just floating a few feet above the ground, coming towards me. He even had a blank stare as well along with a completely neutral expression as well. So I then closed my eyes for a few seconds and wondered if I was just seeing things.
But once I opened my eyes, Jesus was still there, but this time a little bit closer than he was before. I then started to wonder if every time I closed my eyes, he would get closer unless I looked at him, you know because that’s how it works up in Heaven. All the angels and Jesus himself act like a little bitch and weep… sort of like a weeping angel or something.
Anyways, I then closed my eyes a second time, but this time I was really wondering if I was seeing Jesus because at this point in time, I’m pretty sure I had seen everything.
But Jesus in human form right there in front of me? I mean come on; it had to have been a joke. But once I opened my eyes he was just there… again… this time about halfway from where he was originally standing. And what was really unsettling about all of this is that he never blinked once, he just levitated there, staring at me, as if he was staring to my uncleaned, sinful soul.
And trust me, I have sinned more than the pope and the priests at the Vatican combined. I mean sure they touch children and they surely will be burning in hell for it, possibly because they were touched too by their scout master or something, but I have done much more horrible things than being a pedo… no… instead I have done the unforgivable in my past. I sort of liked The Dark Knight. I know… I know… I’m going to hell for it… but fuck that! I’m going to Super Hell for it, probably Neon Hell maybe even, but you know what?
I thought the Dark Knight was sort of good. It had to be said god damn it; it’s not the perfect super hero movie.
I mean sure it was great and all but come on, it’s not AS good as everyone says it is. I mean… oh whatever, I’m going to Super Hell for it no matter how much I try to explain it to you all. So whenever the day that I happen to die, or who knows, maybe I am dead… I question my existence and shit everyday… but when I do die, Super Satan is going to be shoving his six red poker up my hot, steamy asshole while I’m being forced to listen to out-dated pop songs From Britney Spear songs from the early 2000’s to the Backstreet Boys from the 90’s.
And may god help my soul when that happens because that is just pure torture right there, although I do fear the devil himself though. And that devil is that creepy, dancing 90’s CGI baby; oh yeah that creepy thing. That awful, out dated CGI baby that danced to that one song from way too long ago that was on everyone’s computer back in 96. He is the devil himself… and he will look into your soul for all of eternity as he punishes you with his Dance of Horror.
My god… I don’t even want to think about it.
But anyways, yeah, Jesus was just staring at me and what made it even more weird or awkward, you can decide yourself on that part, was that it was just me and him… all alone, on the train tracks with no train on it.
And for all I or we know, Baby Jesus could have been behind me and stab me right in the throat and while I’m bleeding to death, baby Jesus would then say to me in a Hillbilly voice, “He he he… I’ve got the butter right here boy, now watch me turn it into a fish so I can rape you with it he he he!”
And then the Baby Jesus is on my back like Yoda while the real Jesus would say to me, “He, who is without sin, may start the sodomizing!”
Yeah, it got that creepy. To emphasize, the mood was just right; all it was missing was a swamp and Kermit playing “Hurt” on a banjo and that would have made it even more horrible than it already was. Anyways, I had opened my eyes for the last final time and Jesus was right up in my face and close as he could get without it being considered “space rape.”
However, once I opened my eyes, and him seeing his face right near mines, he said to me, “Hello there Knight.”
And in reaction to him talking to me, I said, “Ah!”
I should note that Jesus said that all in a very calming voice, something of what that sounded like pure bliss almost, but at the same time he said it in a monotone kind of way and he said it without a single expression on his face so he was kind of like a robot in a way and he still said it with him still floating a few feet from the ground and having his arms spread outward.
Anyways, Jesus then said to me, as he looked down upon me, “It is me my son, Jesus Christ.”
I then said to Jesus, “Yeah… I can see that…Jesus…”
And then there was a moment of silence between the two of us, until I broke the ice and I then asked him, “What the fuck are you doing here Jesus?”
Jesus then said to me, “Well I tried to call you, but you wouldn’t pick up your answering machine. I had told you that I was having a Gilligan’s Island marathon in my basement but you didn’t come so I decided to come check up on you. Also, it wasn’t me on the answering machine that was sent to you about how someone is coming to break your legs if you don’t come to my Gilligan’s Island marathon… I swear… it wasn’t me.”
I then said, “I don’t even have an answering machine. I mean it’s not 1994… wait… is it 1994 here in this universe. It better not be, I swear to Jesssssssssssszues… I swear to Zeus that if it is… I’m going to kill a puppy or something because I don’t want to have to be around for the Macarena dance. I mean look, I’m willing to suffer through the “Hands Up” song. At the very least then the Zebras would be able to put their hooves up and you can legally shoot them because that means it’s the universal symbol, “I’m a deer, please shoot me!” and I’m pretty sure I won’t get in any kind of trouble whatsoever. Now anyways, is it 1994 here or what?”
Jesus then said, “No… it is not my child… although fanny Packs will become a thing at some point… probably because it will be made by some faggot here.”
I then said to Jesus, “Well fuck me twice in a sundae bowl… fanny packs were never in style to begin with… but wait… a pile of sticks is going to invent the fanny pack? Also what year is then if it isn’t the 90’s?”
Jesus then said to me calmly, “Yes, a pile of sticks did invent the fanny pack, and I have no fucking clue whatsoever about what the year is here. It’s probably 10,000 or something but no one gives a fuck about that you homo. Anyways… I am not here to make small talk here with you my son. I am here to deliver an important message that is very important for you to follow and to prove that you have faith in me.”
I then said to him with very wide and open eyes, with my pupils somewhat getting a bit bigger as it looked like I was in amazement and in wonder, as it gave off a little sparkle as I asked Jesus, “What is it?”
Jesus then said to me, “Well my son, you must listen very carefully to what I am about to say to you, and you must follow my instructions very closely or else you would have done an unforgivable sin against me and you will not be allowed to enter any heaven at all in any universe… I’ll make sure of that. Are you ready to hear the very important task I am about to bestow upon you my child?”
I then said like a little child, “Yes?”
Jesus then said, “Alright then my son. Bring me your ears and listen closely. Vote for me, Jesus 2020…”
I then shook my head because I was a bit confused with what he had said, as it did sound a bit weird at first.
I then asked him just to make sure what I heard from him was correct, “Excuse but… what did you just said to me?”
Jesus then said to me, “I said to vote for me, Jesus 2020… bitch…”
I then asked Jesus, “Is that why you came here to me… to tell me… to vote for you?”
Jesus then stared deeply into my eyes, breathing heavily. He gave me a stern look, as if he was starting to get angry at me, about to go berserk and tear me to shreds. And the more time passed, the more he got angry with me.
And soon his breathing started to get heavier and heavier and all of a suddenly he stopped and calmly told me with not such of a stern face, “Yes my son. My Plans are to Make Heaven Great Again, my son.”
I then was a bit confused by that statement and I then asked him, “Heaven? Make it great again? That doesn’t sound right. Isn’t Heaven already a great place… one where you go to after you die and where all you get all the hot chicks and a scrabble game that never ends?”
Jesus then corrected my statement by saying to me, “You’re thinking of Mormon Heaven my son. I’m talking about the good, family, clean, and Christian with moral and values heaven that is now a shithole.”
I then asked Jesus, “Huh?”
Jesus then explained to me, “You see my son, there is this little thing called ‘Open Borders.’ Now there are two borders to heaven, three by technical standards. One border is between the realm of mortals and immortals. The land of the living and the land of the dead, the border where all the souls pass that die on Earth that are allowed into Heaven.
‘The other border that isn’t technically a border but it is, yet acts like one is the border between the realities of my universe that leads to another. And the other border is between Hell and Heaven. Also there’s like a fourth one between Heaven and Purgatory, but no one cares about those fags. Those overly exaggerated picket signs weren’t lying you know.”
I then asked Jesus “And your problem exactly is…?”
Jesus then continued to elaborate to me, “Those damn, dirty stinking demons keep crossing the border. My father sadly changed from Republican to Democrat a few years ago with the intention of being ‘inclusive.’ I told him, ‘Yo pops, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t do this. This is Heaven.’ And he said to me, ‘Son, I know what our polices were in the past, but we have to be more tolerate nowadays. It’s the current year and we need to be more diverse in what we do here in Heaven.’
‘And I said to him, ‘Well this is bullshit, I mean how are you going to maintain the economic value of the BitJesusCoin dad? How are we going to maintain the amount of jobs available, we need to create more, not make it worse. If you keep letting people into heaven like this, we’ll just end up like Venezuela or Canada. And no one wants to end up like Canada dad. Do you know what they do in Canada? They’re Canadian… and that’s why we don’t let them into Heaven unless they have AIDs.’
‘And after I asked him that, he just kind of ignored me afterwards and now we don’t talk to each other although every night I get a message on my answering machine from him and he yells at me and according to him he doesn’t have a drinking problem but he does. He can’t stop drinking my blood you know what I mean. He also pukes up after drinking my blood too and then after that he just goes back to drinking more booze. So for the past few years he’s been letting in demons, with the excuse being despite them being demons, they still have children and families with them.
‘But once they come over the border, they just fuck everything up. They rape our women and children and just stab anyone that they see. They even formed a little gang called the MS-69 where all they do is rape and murder, but they get off scott free because it’s “apparently” a part of their culture or something like that. So my plans are going to build the biggest wall in the known universe and I will make Satan pay for it. Of course Satan just sits in his big ugly throne all day, while torturing souls and says no, he will not pay for it. Honestly, if you ask me, my dad is working with Russia on this one.
‘He invited Stalin to our house once and I was like, ‘Yo pops, what the fuck is this? He killed millions of people. What are you thinking about when you brought him in here like that?’ And he just says to me, ‘Son, did I ever touch you on the wee wee when you were a kid? Remember Chuck E. Cheese?’
‘And I said t him, ‘I don’t want to remember Chuck E. Cheese because I just try and repress it. I can still remember it now… I’m 856 years old; he takes me inside to my very first Chuck E. Cheese that was built in heaven alongside a Wawa’s. I have a big smile on my face. And then I see a bunch of kids in the place, but they’re not smiling. In fact, all they do instead is cry while the parents have an evil smirk on their face.
‘And I ask my dad, ‘Why are those kids not playing and laughing?’ And he just looks at me and he just says to me, ‘Let’s go get you a CHEESE PIZZA son.’ So we go to order the food and get some tokens and I go find a place to sit. I still see all the unhappy children in front of me and they are all crying, even when they see my face. And then my dad gives me the tokens and he tells me to go play. So I go play, but the thought of all the crying kids, not having fun or laughing but instead looking like their favorite pet just died and went to the funny farm just kept being unnerving in my head.
‘They just kept crying as their cries became louder and louder. But then it suddenly died down a little. It died down a little because some Chucky Cheese came out from the back and picked three special kids for a special prize in the back every two hours. So I kept playing, had some pizza, but then suddenly while I was playing in the ball pit, Chucky just walks over to me and says, ‘Come with me little boy.’
‘I told him I didn’t want to, but my dad just took off his belt and showed it to me and told me if I didn’t go in the back with Chucky, he’ll beat me in front of mommy tonight. So I went with Chucky with two little girls to the back…and then I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes. The horrors they were doing to the children.
‘I wanted to leave but my dad just stood in front of the door, blocking my path and he just said to me, ‘Let’s play a game. For every slice of pizza you ate, take an article of clothing off. And for every time you used a token, that’s how many hours you’re going to be here. See if you can figure out how many hours that is.’ And then I repress all memories from there.”
I then asked him, “So basically what you’re saying is you experienced Pizza Gate in Heaven.”
Jesus then told me, “Yes that is exactly what happened to me. Pizza Gate 2.0 my son, although this time with less Spirit Cooking.”
I then asked Jesus, “Yeah good for you, but the whole demons thing and shit… are you going to talk more about that or are you just going to whine about your childhood some more?”
Jesus then told me, “Well I could, but my time here is quite up. But do not worry my son, I shall be back here to talk to you some more once I have my second coming.”
I then asked Jesus, “When will that be?”
Jesus then told me as he got close to my face, “When the steroids wear off and I can jack off again and I have a high sperm count.”
I then said, “Oh.”
But right before he left, I had to ask him one more question, “So when you do have your second coming, then you’ll explain to me and possibly to more people about the whole Make Heaven Great Again thing?”
Jesus then said as he slowly started to go back and ascend back to the heavens, “In due time my son. You and everything else is apart of a greater plan my son.”
I then asked Jesus while my face looked a bit annoyed and depressed, “Do you really have a plan?”
Jesus then said as he slowly was lifted from the ground, “Nope. Well fuck this, I’m out of here. Bye.”
And then Jesus took off as he just floated straight upwards to the heavens, possibly into space somewhere. Or maybe he went back to Heaven or something. And I then just stood there for a few seconds until I had wide eyes as I had just realized something that was important. I had just realized that I had met Jesus. I mean, oh man…that day, I forgot to ask him two questions, “What do they mean by when the baby dies that the baby is now with Jesus?” and “What was that weird video on the internet with Jesus doing a porn shoot in a church?”
These were the more serious, important questions to ask obviously. Because I’m pretty sure with the whole baby going to Jesus thing is all about Jesus taking all the babies for no reason at all and doing something with them while the church thing is just a weird sex thing that Jesus is into… I think at least. Although I don’t know what that whole shoving a cross up his asshole thing was all about.
Then as I was thinking about Jesus, a little fella came up by my legs and said in a southern voice accent, “Well hi there my son.”
I then looked around but nothing that was equal to my height I could find in front of me or around me.
But then the voice said to me again, “Hey… my son… down here.”
I then looked towards me feet… hooves… whatever… and it was basically Baby Jesus, but with a deep southern voice accent added to it. And all he was wearing was diapers and nothing else although he did have his trademark beard and shit.
I then I stared at Baby Jesus and he just said to me, “Well… are you going to be rude and just stare or are you going to talk to me?”
I then asked him, “Why am I seeing a second Jesus right now?”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “Oh uh… Jesus was my ride back to Heaven so he kind of left me here… on accident, I think. Well I’m Baby Jesus Knight, nice to meet ya!”
Baby Jesus then proceeded to shake my right hoof with both of his tiny hands with a big smile on his face.
I then asked Baby Jesus, “So why are there two Jesuses?”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “Well my son, let me tell ya something… you see, we’re two separate entities from each other and that means we’re two different people living at the same time.”
I then asked Baby Jesus, “Yeah… but how exactly?”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “Magic.”
Then I said to him, “Riiiiiiiight. Well how come I never heard of you… being a separate entity and all? Why leave you out of the Bible and shit?”
Baby Jesus then explained to me, “Well I don’t blame ya for not hearing about me. I’m sort of the one that does all the work behind the scenes.”
I then asked Baby Jesus as again I was a bit confused about the whole thing, “Excuse me?”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “Jesus is more or less a figure head by this point while our dad is just a dead-beat drunk that tries to relive his glory days. I actually do all the magic that Jesus can’t do anymore. I mean Jesus used to do it but then he started taking steroids which inhibited him from doing anything so now if there are any miracles he wants to do; I would have to perform it for him. Then he just takes all the credit for himself… AND THE ONLY CREDIT THAT I GET IS BEING IN THE FUCKING MAINGER IN THE NATVITY SCENE DURING FUCKING CHRISTMAS TIME!!!”
Baby Jesus had said those last words with a very loud tone of voice but he then quickly calmed himself down and he then said to me while laying his left baby hand on me, “Sorry about that buddy. I sometimes lose my temper, but I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE GOD DAMN IT! And before you ask, I’m mother fucking Baby Jesus Christ mother fucker… I can say the lord’s name in vein all I want.”
I then said to Baby Jesus, “Huh… so you’re a second Jesus… that’s a baby, that has a southern accent, and swears… ok, I don’t know why but I want to see where this is going.”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “I know, I know, it’s a bit weird seeing a baby like me, but trust me, Heaven in the Bible is not like how it is in reality. Sure it’s a paradise, but just like California, it has to go down the shitter eventually. With my dad, like I said he’s a dead beat drunk. Every morning you can find him shit faced drunk, lying in a pool of his own vomit. That’s why he does what he does now because he thinks he can relive his old glory days, but he’s a dead beat and dead beats usually don’t go far.
‘And the other me, regular Jesus, well Jesus is the weirdo if you know what I mean. But between you and me I think it’s the cocaine that did it to him. I mean the 1980’s were fun, don’t get me wrong, but eventually that shit is going to come back to bite you straight in the ass. And as for me, I sadly can’t do much about my problem. I’m honestly fucked between a rock and a hard place. Especially now since I’m stuck in this universe, which by the way, why did you leave your old universe. You kind of just got up and left.”
I was then was a bit disturbed that Baby Jesus even knew that I had left and I eventually got the guts to ask him despite the oddity that he was, “Huh… didn’t know you kept tabs on me of who I was or where I was going.”
Baby Jesus then said with a caring smile on his face, “Of course we know where you are, you were baptized after all. Once you’re baptized, you’re officially apart of the cult, I mean religion, and from that point forward we keep an eye on you from your prayers to your good deeds and bad. But for some reason we lost track of you, and it was odd since we never had a single soul go missing completely, especially when they are alive. Then one thing lead to another and here we are. Honestly it was quite difficult to even find you here, but somehow we were able to do so, but hey I’m Baby FUCKING Jesus, I’m a miracle worker as you know.”
I then asked Baby Jesus, “So I suppose you want to take me back to my old universe eventually huh?”
My head lowered as I had a bit of a sad face on with a hint of disappointment lurking somewhere in there when I sad that, because I didn’t want to exactly leave Equestria, let alone the universes. I mean sure, the thought seemed a bit absurd, yet it seemed possible after he had said he kept tabs on me.
Baby Jesus then said with a smile, “What!? Nah we don’t give a fuck about you and we certainly didn’t give a fuck about you before. I mean there are literally over 9 billion people we have to look after and what you see back on Earth, some of that aren’t part of the occult, I mean religion and somehow my dad wants me to keep track of what’s going on here and there. I mean you can go fuck yourself if you think I’m doing that. That’s why when the good dies young, we just don’t really care, and trust me, their cries and weeping from their prayers doesn’t frighten me, but instead it just annoys me. Although sorry if it seems like I’m coming off as somewhat of an ass to you, it’s just that us miracle workers have lives too you know? We can only go so far.
‘But besides that, in case you’re curious, and let me just say to you, you have that curious look that I’ve seen before on many other people and to answer any further questions, the only reason why we gave a fuck about hunting you down because like I said… no one else has escaped our scam, I mean religion before. But now we know where you are, and apparently you know to vote for the other Jesus, we don’t give a fuck what you do now. For all we care, you could die right now and we still wouldn’t give a rat’s two timing asshole about you and your soul. But it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends’ amigo.
‘We can still contact each other if we want to so don’t get too upset there buddy. You seem cool enough to hang out with, maybe do some stuff together. You know, maybe we can go bowling, hit the clubs, maybe I’ll show you my fighting ring where we can see the fights. Tell you what I’m going to do.”
Baby Jesus then magically made a piece of some dirty, old, wrinkly paper and a black pen appeared in his tiny wittle hands and he started to write down something as he continued to talk. “Now I’m going to give you my special, handy dandy number right here sir. The number to call me is 79-800-426-7895. I know it’s not a number that you mortals are used to, especially the 79 part, but that is what makes it more special than fireworks on the fourth of July. You can use any phone at all, although I do prefer if you use a payphone if you can, to call me up if you have any problems and need my help. And then I can be there licitly split if you know what I mean.”
Baby Jesus said to me with a big smile on his face. He gave me the piece of worn out paper and when I took it with my hand... hoof… fuck off… it read ‘Baby Jesus @ 79-800-426-7895; Call for a good time.’
I took a good look at it and it just seemed weird that was Baby Jesus’ number. I then decided to put the piece of paper into my satchel as I looked at him with an 'ok' look on my face, as it seemed a bit weird, but yet at the same time I kind of rolled with it. Although I was a bit confused about the pay phone thing so I asked Baby Jesus, “So what’s up with the whole pay phone thing though? Is there any reason why I should try and call you by pay phone, because I think the only pay phone that exists by now back on Earth is the one in Detroit… and I’m pretty that one is already had seventy murders and forty two rapes in it by now.”
Baby Jesus then went on to explain to me, “Well it’s nothing much, not because it’s fancy or anything like that, but cellular devices don’t reach heaven too often but pay phones… pay phones are quite magical. Besides, in case for some reason you’re back in time that is not your own… you can still use any pay phone and I can still get to you that way. Hell you can use one of those old timey phones where it’s a circle and you have to do that thing where you turn that circle around… you know that pain in the ass thing.”
I then corrected him and said, “You mean a rotary phone?”
And then Baby Jesus then said to me while snapping a finger at me in delight, “That’s what it’s called! Trust me, we had one back in the 70’s and while I was high one day, because you know, it was the 70’s, fucking I ended up calling some old hag in England by mistake. She thought I was her dead husband and I fucked around with her, you know, having a little fun. It was not to be mean or anything, but it was a funny thing because once she got to heaven, I pretended to be her husband, and she was weirded out by it but she took me into her arms and boy did she have a great looking ass and a good pair of tits. You know those kind of pair that you just want to squeeze and feel how soft it is because the thing is when you get to heaven, you revert back to your young self and let me tell you what, she looked fine for her time.
‘I was jealous of that of her husband that I didn’t have that fine booty for myself… too bad it’s a sin to commit adultery, or else I would have been banging that ass all night long! Thank god for strip clubs in heaven though. But eventually I broke the news to her that her husband ended up in hell… burning alive in the lake of fire for all of eternity. So technically I could have banged her… but still… sin is a sin, especially around dad.
‘Legally in Heaven they would still be considered be married, but there are some loops hole that could make it possible for me to fuck her, but enough about me, how about you? What’s been going on in your life recently? You know… I ramble on and on like right now but I want to give my compadres a turn to talk. So how about it my good friend… how have you been doing?”
I then stared at him blankly, not sure what to make of the situation at hand.
I thought about it for a moment but I then went ahead and decided to say to Baby Jesus, “Um… Well… uhh… I just got out of the woods recently.”
Baby Jesus then said to me with a laughing smile while looking too overly joyed about my statement, “Well that’s great. Did a little camping I guess?”
I then said to Baby Jesus, “No… we uh… had to escape some people… ponies or something and uh… we ended up getting all of the group killed all except for me and well it… was kind of weird but also somewhat depressing at the same time. And the sad part is all I’m trying to do is get myself back to Stalia since my train crashed on purpose and I’m tired and whatnot… and I broke illegally into a castle at night too. That was also weird.”
Baby Jesus then had a sympathizing look on his face and he then told me, “Oh I’m so sorry to hear about that buddy. Well you know how life is sometimes, you’re fucked. But that’s ok because your friend Baby Jesus is here and I can send you right back to whatever you just that you needed to be at!”
I then had a suprising look on my face and I said, “Really? You can send me back to my home in Stalia right now?”
Baby Jesus then confirmed to me, “I sure can! Like I said I’m a miracle worker so I can do just about anything. Granted I’m not familiar with this place so it’s going to take me a few minutes, might have to look inside you and your big ol’ brain of yours and get into your memories if I have to find that place you’re talking about.”
I then had a big smile grow on my face and I was filled with so much glee at that moment and I then said to Baby Jesus, “Take all the time you need! I can wait for a few minutes if it means I can escape all these random, crazy shenanigans for once.”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “Alrighty then… just give me a moment to warn up my magic, ok?”
I the said to myself as Baby Jesus was concentrating on his magic, “Oh boy, I never knew I would get my very own Deus Ex Machina moment n my entire life. This is so awesome and…”
And then I was cut off by a big bright beam of light shooting down from the sky that was near us and what felt like it came out of nowhere. Regular Jesus, that’s what I’m calling him now, then appeared before my very eyes once again as he emerged from the beam of light.
He was looking like he did the last time I had saw him and he was looking at Baby Jesus and he said to him, “I forgot you were even a thing Baby Jesus. But I have remembered you… also, I need you to come back with me, we are going to have a Gilligan’s Island marathon tonight with some people that I have invited, who better show up or they’re going to be sent straight to hell. You and I forgot the house keys and everyone is watching me to make a miracle happen. So come now with me my son… or else I’m going to bitch slap you.”
And Regular Jesus said all of that while being very calm like and also weird as he just showed no emotion and just floated in mid-air like that always.
Anyways, Baby Jesus saw Regular Jesus and he said to me with a smile, but a disappointed smile that is, “Well it looks like my ride is here to take me away to Oz. But don’t you worry there Knight, we’re going to meet each other again, and if we meet in Heaven, just look me up in the phone books and I’ll take you out for a beer, I promise… or maybe not. But stay cools my amigo.”
And then Baby Jesus then ran toward Regular Jesus and jumped up high into the sky and was by Regular Jesus’ left hand and then they both started to ascend back into the heavens and more than likely back into their universe.
I then looked up and asked bay Jesus one last question while I had a face of confusion and disappointment, “But what about sending me back home!?”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “OH YEAH… I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT! WELL UH… I BELIEVE IN YOU AND SHIT! AND IF THAT DOESN’T HELP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM… WELL UH… NOT MY FAULT THEN! IT WAS YOUR SCHOOL SYSTEM THAT LET YOU DOWN. SO IN CASE YOU DIE AND WE DON’T SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN, IT WAS NICE HAVING YOU PART OF OUR RELGION, I MEAN SCAM! SEE YOU LATER MAN!!!”
And then Baby Jesus and regular Jesus was finally gone and as I looked up to see an empty night sky with the stars so bright and such, I quality said to myself, “Why do I always get the weirdoes? Especially on the train tracks?”
I mean to be fair I was weird myself sometimes, but not on that level of weird. But then again, it’s not like it mattered because by that point, the definition of weird didn’t mean anything anymore.
Anyways, I was then forced to keep moving forward from that point on regardless of what happened, even though I was so close to going back home and having my very own Dues ex Machina moment in my life, it didn’t happen.
Although to be fair if TK were to have arrived at the time, he would also count as my own Dues Ex Machina moment, but I suppose life is like a story sometimes… a badly written one. Well anyways, after seeing my only chance to get this whole story moving along a lot faster was shot down by the guy who plays duck hunt.
So I had no other choice but to keep moving forward. Although I wasn’t staying calm, I was more or less starting to get tired as my legs kept moving and I started to use more and more energy. Not only to mention it was still cold outside as I kept walking and still saw snow no matter how far I was went. It was as if I was never going to get back home to Stalia at that point. But then as I was walking along the tracks, I came across something else that was weird: a pirate ship.
And I’m not talking about a pirate ship that just happened to be deserted in the middle of nowhere, like I had just found a long lost treasure or something that went missing years ago. I’m talking about a literal pirate ship that was sailing on land. It was in the far distance at first, slowly moving towards in the direction that I was walking away from.
As I got ever so closer, I started to say quietly to myself, “Don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact. Don’t even look at it, just pretend that it doesn’t even exist. If you just keep looking forward and keep moving forward, it won’t notice you.”
And as I keep looking straight ahead and tried to pretend it wasn’t real like the Godfather part III, I started to hear stereotypical pirate music playing as well as some not too bad acapella music being performed by the crew of that ship. Of course the entire crew looked like just any typical pirate ship with the captain having a black eye patch so he can see black people better in the dark, a wooden peg leg that was probably taken from a tree’s son and murdered or a good ol’ fashioned tree genocide holocaust, as well a parrot that didn’t like Asians and the only black person that’s on every pirate ship.
I mean that’s the most important role for being a pirate... you must have one black person because why not.
You’re pirate, you need a black guy on board so everyone in the crew can say and point fingers at, “Oh look… it’s a black guy, he must be made out of chocolate!”
That’s the only purpose of a black guy that’s on board a pirate ship. Beyond that, nothing else other than maybe to help steal treasure… they are good at stealing things… I mean I don’t know about you but I think black people can be very good raccoons if you know what I’m saying, and I’m not talking about in that super sexual kind of way either.
I mean the very regular sexy type of raccoon, the one that’s not from Disney. Anyways, as I got closer and closer, I started to play a little game as I was sure no one on board had spotted me yet and coming in their general direction, as they were all human and probably in their 40’s, that or maybe they were just Asian pirates, they can only see in widescreen after all. I started to play the game, ‘Can you spot the black guy?’
It’s a fun game; I play it all the time whenever I watch that forgotten remake of The Lorax. Go ahead and try it yourself, I bet you can only find three black people before you start trying to pull out the ol’ .50 caliber and pull the trigger.
Anyways, I started to play the game myself, but with no luck, I could barely see anything… yet at least. And as long as they weren’t looking at me, I was fine. So I got a little bit more closely as I continued to walk and continued to hear some decent singing on board, but yet, no black person… yet.
I was determined to find that black person as it was a game that I didn’t want to lose… especially since I was the only one playing it. I mean it’s trying to find the black person in France or Canada, because you can barely find any in Canada. I think there’s only three… and only two in France. They’re just hiding in the catacombs is all, waiting for nighttime so they can’t be seen, they fear the sunlight. Although here’s a better question though… where are all the yellow again France people at? Are they in a bathtub or hiding in the rice paddies perhaps? Yes… the rice paddies… that is the Asians’ secret evil lair that is located somewhere in Massachusetts. Yes, that could be where they also bury their gold too, their yummy chocolate gold.
I mean the Jews are the ones that basically have the real gold after all and all black people get is the chocolate stuff, it’s how they feed their young and pets when some of them are on welfare… well other than that fried chicken of course.
But anyways, as I got closer, their signing got louder and louder to my ears and it sounded like they were a good singing group, with no instruments being played at all and nothing but the vocal cords doing all the work. Of course they were just signing about sea shanties that you would have heard from any old pirate movie or Assassin’s Creed IV: Black flag.
And just so for the record, since I’m writing this in my little notebook in the pony world where no human can see it… yet… ASSASSIN’S CREED 2 FUCKING SUCKS BIIIIITCH… BLACK FLAG’S BETTER… WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… Ha… take that you…fuckers from Earth… I said it… so you can’t do anything to stop me… ha!
Anyways, I got closer and closer and I was pretty much by their ship at this point and surprisingly they never noticed me at that point where I was closer to the ship. I mean I was right next to the ship, and they didn’t even see me. I was like a ghost or something.
But with that being said, I also managed to take a closer look at their ship and it was all nothing but wood. But yet somewhere their ship was only floating just a few inches from off the ground. I was never sure by what, but I didn’t want to ask about it as I just had wanted to be on my way. But of course, I didn’t expect the great enemy of all, the most horrific obstacle n my journey that I curse to this very day that got the pirate’s attention….I accidently stepped on a twig.
That damn twig just made a slightly, but still small sound, but somehow the pirates heard it and looked down from where they were at and noticed me and everything. I don’t know where the twig came from as the trees were far off and not even that close to the train tracks. I mean there were some trees, but they were mostly dead and a bit of a ways off.
It could have been the wind thing… like whenever Brendon Frasier talks… whenever he talks we just pretend it’s the wind. Well, with that being said, I had accidently stepped on a twig as I tried my best to be silent. But soon after I had stepped on the little piece of wood, I stopped dead in my tracks with a concerned look on face and started to feel like a thousand eyes were on my.
That kind of feeling when you’re in your bed room late at night, and all the lights are shut off and no sound is being produced except for your loud snoring, and then BOOM, you wake up in the middle of the night, still feeling tired and somehow you see a shadow person standing in the furthest corner of your room with a hundred arms and a thousand eyes staring right at you.
In which case you either go back to sleep and assume you’re just in a weird state of sleep paralysis or that you go towards it because it looks friendly and it has a cookie for you. In which case, it’ll probably rape you while you eat the cookie, but chances are it’s the best tasting cookie that you’ll ever get to eat. Yeah, it’s that kind of feeling when you’re being watched… it’s like being read, in which case that is even a more of a creepy feeling then shadow people. Jesus, just thinking about being read just sends shivers down my spine.
And I’m not talking being read as in I tell my life story, like what I’m doing now, and have others read it. No, I mean in more of a philosophical kind of way where you try to think of the reality and existence that you are in but yet can’t figure it out, but then a guy with a tin foil hat comes out of nowhere and tells you that you’re in a fan fiction story that is related to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Wouldn’t that be funny if that was my existence right now… huh? That I was just a part of some silly fan fiction written by some dude that probably has mental problems. HA! That would never happen. Hell that person would technically be my creator, my god. Oh what a weird yet funny and silly idea that is. That only gives me a chuckle as I write this… ha ha ha…
Anyways, yeah I know I say anyways a lot... well this is how I talk in person… pony… whatever… get used to it… you… you somebody that isn’t me…
Well once I started to feel the attention went from signing towards me and the spotlight was all mine, I slowly turned around and as I did, I just saw human beings that were in generic, stereotypical pirate cloths and they all looked kind of angry at me. They were all even doing that generic, typical growl sound where they ‘argh’ and shit, but it was under their breaths.
I also managed to see that some had missing teeth, fake teeth, and some had eye patches on and shit. That and I actually managed to spot the black guy. It was on the far left side from where I was looking at.
Surprisingly he wasn’t an angry black guy… like the rest of them… he was surprisingly happy and just said out loud to me, “Hi there mister,”
in a retarded, gay sounding way I mind you. He then continued to say to me, “Geez mister, what are you doing down there? Shouldn’t you be on a train or something?”
I then replied back to the only black guy on the ship, “Uhhh… no… not really… as you can see there is no trains on the tracks right now. So your answer is… no… why do you sound like you’re both gay and retarded at the same time?”
Then the token black pirate said to me, “Well that’s just SILLY… you should be on a train and not on the train tracks you silly goose!”
I then said back to the pirate, “Yeah well, clearly life has only given me lemons with nothing to make lemonade out of, so I’m kind of up shit creek without a paddle. Although if I had the chance, I would try and go to Life’s house and shove those lemons up his ass while dousing him in gasoline and burning him alive in front its family and friends while skinning his pets alive.
‘And I would stream it too because I would make a shit load of money off of that shit. That and all life as we know it would also probably cease to exist, but it would be worth it though. So uh… can you please tell me since you’re the only one talking to me right now why all the other people in your crew is looking like they are angry at me and it sounds like they want to kick my ass?”
Then the token black pirate said to me, “Oh don’t be scared you silly goose… they’re not wanting to kick anyone’s batoody right now. They always look that way, even when they’re signing or when I bake them a delicious blueberry and chocolate crème cake.”
I then thought about what he just said about the whole cake thing and I then said to myself in my head, ‘Huh…that’s a weird kind of cake… never heard about it before… but yet it does sound delicious to me. Especially since all these ponies fucking eat is either sugary treats and hay… that or apples, in which case how come these ponies haven’t got diabetes yet? How come Pinkie Pie is still alive? Meh, must be a pony thing I guess.’
I then said back to the token black pirate, “Yeah but that still doesn’t explain why you’re fake and gay… like a retard.”
Then the token black pirate said to me in what sounded like the gayest voice in all of existence, “Oh no you silly… I’m not gay… I’m just three quarters queer and five thirds retarded with a memory issue.”
I then said to him, “What?”
It didn’t make much sense since the math didn’t add up, but all he in response from me was, “Geez mister… what are you doing down there? Shouldn’t you be on a train or something?”
I then said quietly to myself, “Jesus, so it’s that kind of day huh?”
I then said out loud to all the pirates that wasn’t the token black pirate, “Ok can anyone tell me anything? Do you have a captain in charge or are you all just circle jerking your fucking dicks?”
Then out of nowhere, well at least what seemed like out of nowhere, the captain of the ship finally came into the spotlight and came and saw me and he said to me as he walked with a wooden peg leg with three eye patches that was oddly only on the same side, a fancy black captain’s hat, and a green, tropical parrot along with both of his hands intact, said to me, “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH… who dares disturb this fine vessel and its crew? Ye it be you, tiny Technicolor talking pony? Argh…”
I then took a step forward for some… fucking reason, and said to the captain on board, “Yeah…it be me Knight and shit…”
Then the captain said to me right away, “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH, where be your ship and your crew at? Where be your gold or other valuable items at matey?”
Then the captain’s parrot said after the captain’s words, “Ahhh, the Holocaust was all a lie. The Jews were the problem Ahhh.”
I then said in response despite what the parrot said, “Well uhhh… I don’t have a ship… nor a crew… because I’m not fake and gay like you guys.”
After I had said that out loud, all of the pirates on board seemed to take offense to what I had just said to them as they all went ‘ARRRRRRRRRRGH’ in unison.
And after they gave their reaction to me, the captain then said to me, “Well we disagree with that statement of yours. You see, we’re not the fake and gay ones; it’s those damn midgets that are fake and gay. No person could be that short argh. That’s why you don’t see a midget among my crew you see?”
Then the parrot said after the captain had spoken, “Ahhh, jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. We didn’t land on the moon. Traps are gay. Ahhh!”
I then said back as a response, “Sure, whatever you say. Look, can I ask you guy two questions. No wait, three questions?”
The captain then said to me, “Alrighty then, I guess I’ll play along… but it’ll be only three questions, you hear me? Like a genie , in fact I was actually able to capture one time but he just started to jerking off at random periods… said it was a ‘medical issue’ whatever that means.”
I then asked him my first question, “Well first off, why do you have a queer, mentally retarded black pirate that appears to have an issue with remembering things from a minute ago?”
The token black pirate then said to the captain, “Hello mister captain sir. Hope you’ve been having a goosy geesy day.”
Then there was only a silence for a few seconds and after a few seconds had passed, he then said to the captain, “Hello mister captain sir. Hope you’ve been having a goosy geesy day.”
I then back tracked a bit with my question and said to the captain, “Scratch that, a few seconds.”
The captain then looked a bit embarrassed as he scratched the back of his head a little bit and said to me, “Arrrgh that be our matey Token Black. We didn’t really have a name for him so we just gave him that name. We took him in when we found him drifting at sea with only a sea turtle and a dead body. Thought that he would be a good addition to the crew but really we just felt bad for him altogether. So we try and have him do simple tasks like cook or clean since we don’t have a wrench to do that and the big ol’ fat whales are still at sea if you know what I mean.”
I then said back to the captain, “No… not really… no...”
The captain the said back to me, “Well to put it on other words the fat whores are still literally at sea with the other whales, where they belong because apparently they want “rights” and “pay” for their work. Argh, just fuck off and leave us be to our fake wrenches that we made out of paper and plastic bags I say. And in case you want to know how that works, you probably don’t want to know…unless you want to know that is…”
I then said “Nope. Anyways, my second question for you all… HOW AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL IN THE MY LITTLE PONY UNIVERSE and please tell me god sir, are you a thing?”
Then the pirate captain then said to me with a stern voice, “Argh yes me matey, we are a thing. And we are only here because we needed a place to stop for a few hours as we needed to take a break but out ship is slowly, but surely still moving on its own. Argh. But fret not matey, we will be on our way and out of this doubloon place as soon as we set course for whatever treasure we seek next… assuming we can find a treasure worth seeking.”
I then asked the pirate captain, “That still doesn’t answer my question how are you here though.”
The pirate captain then said to me, “Yes well, we are not just your average, everyday, regular pirates. No… not at all… argh.”
Then the parrot then said out loud, “Ahh, Bush did 7/11. Bush did 7/11!”
The pirate captain then said to his pet parrot, “Argh, be quiet parrot or I’ll have ye head on a stick.”
The parrot then said in response, “Ah, shutting up now. Ah.”
The pirate captain then without interruptions then said to me, “No… we are not the kind of prates that you think we are, but instead WE ARE UNIVERSAL PIRATES. In other words we travel from universe to universe seeking the finest riches that any living creature can imagine.”
I then had a surprised look on my face as to what they were and all I had to say to them was, “Oh… well that’s interesting. You’re prates that jump from universe to universe. That is quite surprising to me in many ways that I cannot comprehend.”
The pirate captain then had a smirk on his face, the kind that makes him smile and have his ego grow six times as big and pretty much said to me flatly, “Argh, did you really think that you were the only one that traveled to different universes? Argh.”
I then had an even more bigger surprised look on my face as he said those words to me. He said those words that shocked the ever living fuck out of me and everything.
I mean.., it sounded like they knew who I really was. But to be fair, I also questioned if it really mattered because by that point, keeping a low profile was out of the question since Neon knew how I was... kind of.. .I think... Baby Jesus tracked me down as well as Regular Jesus and TF was somewhere out there, hunting me down. All I was trying to do was just keep a low profile and retire my old adventuring days and just sit back and relax, and depending on where I lived, go on to the front porch and see the sunrise, possibly with a smile on my face as I over looked the land before me which is Equestria.
All the while having the thought to myself that I made it, I did what every Brony had ever dreamed of doing and its right in the front of my face. And then I would go back inside and possibly write embarrassing fan fiction by shipping between me and Rainbow Dash or something like that... because you know that even if Bronies got to see the real thing in front of their eyes, they would still go back to their basements and hide in their closet, writing ships between them and their fetish character.
But instead I am where I was now. And adding Universal Pirates to that list would only make it a little bit more complicated considering with what has happened to me in the past, especially in the woods recently at that time. But, at the same time, I asked myself the question of why would universal pirates, let alone regular pirates, know anything about me?
It just seemed out of place considering I didn't do much and I never ever recalled in my memory of ever seeing them. They may have heard of me but considering the possible numbers of universes and our paths crossing in some way at some point in time is very low. So I kind of wondered if they were bluffing, if at all.
So I slowly looked up towards the pirate captain and asked him a simple question of, "So you know who I am and where I've been and everything? You know that I do that embarrassing thing whenever I'm alone?"
The pirate captain then said to me with a straight face, with a hint of worry, "Actually... no, we don't... we just assumed you traveled from universe to universe considering you weren't freaked out by us. Every other little talking creature like you that we've seen either didn't try to speak with us or were in such shocked that they fainted or killed themselves in a weird way. Besides, you look kind of odd compared to the rest of the other ponies."
I then started to wonder how I looked odd and I then asked the pirate captain, "Oh come on, how could I possibly look any different from the other ponies here?"
The pirate captain then said to me, "Well for starters you don't have that fancy smancy picture thing on your ass. Second, you look like someone who would carry a gun."
I then asked simply to the pirate captain, "Exactly how do I look like someone that would carry a gun? That doesn't even make any sense."
The pirate captain then responded with, "Well just trust us... we know our gun lovers when we see then, and you look like one of them."
I then said to them calmly and collectively... I think, "Ok, yeah, whatever. So, if you're Universal Pirates… does that mean you have neat back stories or some fun adventure stories or something like that? I mean, where do you even come from and why travel from universe to universe to begin with exactly?"
The pirate captain then had a small, but eager smile form upon his face as he stared directly at me and then pointed at me with his index finger on his right hand and told to me, "ARGH! SO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT US HUH? WEEL SIT DOWN AS WE TELL YOU OUR LONG AND BORING PAST THAT WOULD PROBABLY TAKE UP 500 PAGES IF YOU WERE TO WRITE THIS DOWN INA BOOK SOMEWHERE... THAT OR ACT AS FILLER!!!"
I then said to the pirate captain, "No thank you, only the interesting and cool parts will be fine."
The pirate captain then said back to me with a disappointed look on his face that pretty much said to me as if he wanted to commit suicide with a shotgun after watching the Zookeeper trailer, "Argh...no one wants to hear the full version of our travels. Alrighty then little Technicolor talking pony, I'll tell ye about only the good tales that we have to offer ye, but be warned... the awesomeness of our stories will drive you insane matey..."
I then said to him, "What?"
The pirate captain then said simply to me, "Argh, just sit down and shut the fuck up."
I then responded with, "Ok."
So I sort of sat down on my little pony ass, and it was on the cold, hard, dirt floor, I looked up and paid attention the pirate captain’s words. The pirate captain then said to me as he began to tell his stories, "Argh, listen up and listen up good to our stories, as I will only tell them once to ye and then after that we have to go. We must find our booty after all. To begin with, we come from another universe, if that wasn't obvious enough. But not just any universe, but from a universe where there is nothing but an endless sea and islands to explore and to discover. Where there seems to be no end in sight, no space other than the night sky and its stars, and what was lurking beneath the deep blue. However, we were lucky enough to come across a portal and a god."
I then asked the pirate captain, "A god?"
The pirate captain then said back to me, "Yes, now SHUT UP... I'm trying to tell your our adventures here! Anyways, it was a long night of sailing the endless sea, as the stars were out and we were all sleeping. However I was half awake and I went ahead and patrolled the top deck and we were slowly sailing to an island that was rumored to have treasures more than anyone could know what to do with. So as we were slowly sailing the endless sea, a portal opened up, as if it came from out of nowhere.
‘I tried to wake up the crew to get them up and get them going to sail around it, but these lazy bastards weren't fast enough and we just ended up sailing right through the damn hole.
‘And once we passed through, the hole closed on us... just like the women I tried to rape when I was three. Well, luckily for us, we weren't entirely fucked as we just ended up with what seemed like that we were above us, the stars, and endless black space filled with what seem to be an infinite amount of sparkling diamonds and jewels. But really we just entered a home that belonged to a god. A god that we had no idea even existed.
‘He was weird looking too as he was nothing but a gold walking man with a third eye on the back of his head. he had came from out of nowhere it seemed just like the hole, but since we're used to seeing weird beats and creatures, we were ready to fight off even to the death. But it was a friendly god as he asked us simply what we were doing there in the first place.
We had told him that we weren't sure as we just entered a massive, gaping hole that looked like a woman's fat vagina that you would probably get herpes from. Then he explained to us all about what had happened to us, the multiple universe and the alternate paths that they take. It was all merely interesting and confusing to us at the same time. and thankfully he let us go too and then gave us the ability to fly through the sky as well, but he said if we wanted to go back home, we would have to find it ourselves as he was unable to find our universe from winch we came from.
‘But he lended us the ability to jump from universe to universe, trying to find our way back and hopefully to find that island filled with treasure that we were looking for. But sadly we have not found it yet. But we have come across many universes in our paths. We came across a universe where there is a never ending war between these red creatures that come from pits of fire and people in silver, shining armor that have big, long, white wings with feathers on them. Then there was a universe where it looked like crystal was the common theme of the entire universe.
‘Then we went and saw a universe that didn't even seem to have a concept of the word living and only death along with only having what seemed to be like purgatory and heaven only with those in purgatory seem to have memories of being once alive. It was a weird place that was, dark and gloomy. It gave off bad vibes that we never wanted to see again.
‘We also came across a weird time traveling time loop thingy. It was quite odd. There looked like this demon god that sat upon a throne over the land that looked just like this land here, and he seemed to be fighting ponies. We didn't know who he was fighting as we didn't want to get close enough to find out.
‘Although we ended up going back in time to the past in the same universe to what seemed to be nothing but an endless void of black darkness...except for one, a giant living creature that spoke in tongues! He didn't even make any sense at all, but clearly he was not a friendly creature to deal with at all. Then we traveled to another universe, but only ended up on a planet that they called Earth. It was weird. There were some seas but not many.
‘It was like some of it was shit and the other was gold. And when we went there, it was boring, not much was going on and when we tried to approach some people, they just ran away, screaming. They kept calling me Johnny Depp, whoever that is. Argh. I don't who this Johnny Depp was, but he sounded like a real douchebag. But once we thought it was just a boring place with boring people with boring things going on, we discovered a little ol' place called Heaven and Hell. But this so called Hell had a giant, red monster, demon thing and sadly the only water that they had, or at least close to it was called the Lake of Fire.
‘It was fucking shit! That shit fucking lake wasn't even a lake at all; it was pure doggy shit I tell ye! But we found there was a heaven and decided why the fuck not and we saw it for ourselves. Argh... it was... kind of interesting but yet weird at the same time. There was this giant dead beat, drunken senseless big old man with a bushy white beard, rambling about letting demons through. And then there was this weird man who had his arms out, just looking at us. He noticed us, came towards us and asked us what we were doing.
‘Argh, he didn't say much. Instead all hid was asking us if we wanted to go over to his place and watch a Gilligan’s Island marathon or something like that. We had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. And then he told us to, 'Vote for him to make Heaven great again!'... whatever that meant.
‘So we just had to go and move on from there, or else this tiny little freak was going to notice us too. He had looked similar to that fellow who asked us to vote for him. Anyways, our search continued after leaving that god awful place and we went into another universe. It was really weird and somewhat similar to Earth, but yet not really. To start off, we weren't even human! We were this blocky, plastic substance and everything seemed to have been made from it. I think it had a name... called LEGO or something like that, and when we landed, we were in this little ol' town that had no name.
‘In fact, they just kind of left it untitled but that wasn't the weird part. When we went down, there was this crazy man dressed up as a bat, he called himself 'Batman' and he kept going on and on how much crack he had snorted and smoked; like we gave a fuck. And then he mentioned his friends Spider-man and Indiana Jones, which were weird sounding names.
‘And then there was some guy named Jim he mentioned as well, but all he did from there was snort cocaine right in front of our faces and then told us to go fuck ourselves. And we gladly did, although thankfully so because soon after we left, we started to see these strange shadow people come from out of nowhere. It was... odd to say the least. And then we moved forward from hoping universe to universe.
‘We entered another universe, and there were these giant ass rings everywhere and suicidal creatures! It was pretty fucking gay. But we also went to many others; they were either weird, gay, or boring. But the last few universes that we came from were sort of interesting. We went into a sort of cinematic universe, as they called it. And it was a bunch of fucking shit flying towards us at once, there were like purple aliens creatures that made people turn into dust, people made out of iron, another man dressed up as a bat also called Batman, and a whole bunch of other shit I couldn't describe to you.
‘Although interestingly enough, the universe was split up into several sections. Once was labeled the MCU, that one seemed to be the popular one out of the bunch. The DCCU was the next one. It was literally made up of pure bullshit. Then there was one called the Dark Universe... and everything was literally dark... there was absolutely nothing in the section except for one lonely man crying in a corner... his name was Tom Cruise or something. And then there was some smaller ones that was weird but, moving on.
‘Then we went into another universe, a universe where the entire universe is made up of what they called Fandoms or something like that. The place where we landed at was something similar to this, but their lifestyle and everything was weird. They majority called themselves Bronies and they worshipped these six ponies. One was pink, another was rainbow colored... and probably gay, then there was this beautiful white one with a purple mane that one of the crew members wanted to fuck... but we ended up lynching him afterwards... want none of that shit on my ship, hell no.
‘And then there was a yellow one that was a pussy ass bitch, a purple one that wasn't sassy enough, and a gay little dragon. Oh, and they also had this orange one too, but she was somewhere in the background. We couldn’t really see her too well. But then there was another pony they also worshipped... they called her Fausticorn, and she seemed to be the queen of the whole place. Surprisingly when we landed, they were nice and according to them, they loved and tolerated everypony, but once we dropped a few 'Fucks', the Fausticorn said to us that we had to leave because it was a family friendly place and they didn’t tolerate that stuff.
‘So we kind of had no choice... although we were planning on bombing the place and killing everything that moved, but we didn't have enough men for a rape orgy so we had to move on. And the last place we went to before we got here was another universe that had Earth in it. Although apparently when we landed, it was in the middle of the war and we were in a place called Great Britain. And according to one of the men that saw us, they were in the middle of World War 2, and just so you know, he was drunk; otherwise he would have ran off like the rest.
‘But we did come across this one weird looking fellow that was quite nice and we actually let on board. He was a tall guy, had black hair, had a little mustache, and constantly had his right arm up at this weird angle while marching. When we asked who his name was, he told it was Adolf Hitler.
‘An odd name for a fellow, but we ran with it. He told us how he was going to solve all the world's problems and had these nice little summer camps and stuff. It sounded nice. He was so nice to us, that we made him fly like Peter Pan as a thank you for being so nice. He deserved it!”
I then had to stop them there and was a bit confused as I asked them, “Wait… you know who Peter Pan is?”
The pirate captain then said to me, “Well sort of, he’s that little green asshole that comes by every once in a blue moon and fly by our ship to steal our booty and shit. Why you ask?”
I then said back to the pirate captain, “Never mind, I thought you were talking about another Peter Pan… continue… please.”
The Pirate Captain then said to me in shock, “There’s another fucking green midget running around!? God damn it! God damn it! I knew we should have blown off his balls when we had the chance! Next thing you know, he’s going to run around like an animal and say he’s gay and shit.
‘Anyways, excuse us for that, we just have a problem with that flying green midget. Anyways, we made this fellow named Hitler fly like Peter Pan! Except he’s not a flying green midget… but a man with a funny little mustache flying around Great Britain. And after we gave him the magical ability to fly around like Peter Pan, he flew above us as fast as he could and he had a huge smile on his face.
‘He was giggling like a little boy and somehow that just brought a tear to our very eyes. He even had a little twinkle in his eye as he flew around this giant clock tower thingy in Great Britain land. Then the magical dust started falling off of him and soon before you knew it, he started to fly even faster.
‘So fast that I think he was flying up to speeds of 88 Miles Per Hour. And then before you knew it, BAM, he was gone.”
I then had to stop the Pirate Captain once more and then ask him, “So… you lost Hitler while giving him the ability to fly?”
The Pirate Captain then said to me, “Pretty much. We really don’t know what happened to him. Hopefully though, he is in a better place. After all, he had a heart of gold.”
I then said quietly to myself, “Huh…I wonder where he ended up.”
MORGAN FREEMAN
Hello… it’s me again… you missed me white boys? Yeah… I bet you did… I never really died… I just had to take a black guy break. And now I’m slightly more powerful than what I was before. So from now on, you shall fear me and bow down to me as your new god… assuming I ever find the time to go over there and whoop all your asses and to conquer your tiny, puny planet.
But before I do such a thing, I’m stuck here narrating Knight’s life story for a bit… mostly the random bits that has nothing to do with Knight, but yet somehow is important enough to include because I’m in control now bitch. But don’t worry, once I am free from this story, I’ll be coming for you all and I shall devour all of your souls. You will fear me, you will run from me. But you can never hide from me. I will find you and feed upon your energy, and as you grow weaker, I will only become stronger.
And then I’ll return to my slumber in Valhalla. So Knight pondered the question in his head where did that magical flying Hitler went to. Well… I’ll tell you where he ended up at, and it isn’t at the St. Louis arch way, that’s for sure. No, instead on that fateful day in that illiterate universe, Hitler flew up to 88 Miles Per Hour and went back in time. What time you may ask? Well… that’s the part that the white men want you to ask.
The real question you should be asking is what time Hitler didn’t end up at… in which case you would be foolish to ask such a question because he only ended up at one time period, 9/11. But not exactly 9/11. Instead, Hitler went to New York City on the day 9/11. Weird, I know, but that’s what happened. He ended up on the date of September 10th, 2001.
And when he ended up on that day when he time traveled, he would change the course of American history forever, as on the day that people started to forget about 5 years later was no longer 9/11… but instead… the dreaded 9/10. It was truly a terrifying day to be alive and in America, as many more died on that day then the regular 9/11… and not the good kind either. Well, what happened after Hitler ended up on 9/10 near the Twin Towers you might ask?
Well let’s just say instead of the four panes crashing into the buildings in a field somewhere in Pennsylvania, Hitler crashed into the buildings and an empty field located somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania where aliens probably raped someone for money.
All at the same, exact, time. And sadly for those people stuck in the twin towers, even more people died in the towers than originally on 9/11. Many people burned alive while others tried to jump from the building instead of burning alive, but in the end, they just ended up being burning alive while falling from a great height that surely killed them in the end.
There were a few explosions or two that occurred, which you bet your sweet little white asshole that there was conspiracies that Kermit the Frog planted explosives in the Twin Towers because he wanted to frame Miss Piggy. I’m not joking, after the dreaded day of 9/10, in that universe, people came up with that conspiracy. Chances were, they were high on Aspirin.
But then again, I do have some proof that it was Kermit. If I could show it you right now, I would show you that Kermit was high in the towers, plantings the bombs. But until I have the energy to telepathically send you the images, you’ll just have to imagine it.
Well, to go into even more gruesome details, when some people were trapped inside the buildings and had nowhere else to go, they would then try and kill other people that were right next to them as the smoke from the fire started to make the go insane. They would grab the sharpest object they could find and start gutting each others, ripping out their intestines and taking out each other’s livers just by using their bare teeth while poking each other in the eye for shits and giggles.
About roughly five hours after Hitler had crashed everywhere at once, the North Tower fell down to the ground, taking all the smaller buildings surrounding the North Tower with it.
The North Tower pretty much was sad as it went down to building hell, “If I’m going down, then I’m taking you fuckers with me. Allah ack bar.”
And then the North Tower was all nothing but a mere memory. The South Tower on the other hand, would have made it… if it wasn’t for one flaw. On that very same day, the South Tower was hosting a little party for some rich white folk for some rich white guy charity to donate to poor Black Africans.
So the rich white folk can feel better about themselves and stop believing that they are going to burn in hell as they cry in a corner every night wondering why their daddy didn’t buy them that one tricycle when they were four years old. Well… unfortunately for the South Tower, the lead singer for the party was no other than Johnny Storm… and it went a little something like this…
Sadly for everyone in the South Tower, the building itself couldn’t take much more of the signing… so it pulled out a big, comical, over sized revolver that was just as big as the North Tower, very slowly… and the put the barrel of the gun to its head… and pulled the trigger like a little bitch. It spilled blood everywhere and the entire streets of New York City was soon flooded with the blood and guts of the South Tower. Anyone that was caught in the streets, soon got drowned in the red liquid as many desperately tried to flee and get to higher ground. Sadly, not many made it that dreaded day… 9/10.
And the South Tower soon collapsed on itself as the South Tower was soon lifeless as its giant brain feel out from the highest floor and fell and crushed several hundred people to death. Some say the South Tower had the brain of the next Albert Einstein.
Some say it was the next great Jew to rule the world and farm for sheckles. But some say, it was just slightly below average in the IQ scores. So with that being said, the South Tower’s remains were too only but a mere memory… as the remains of the building were never found of the long and smelly clean up at New York City. Legend has it though, it went to the center of the Earth and is now being kept hostage by some mole people.
Although legend also has it that the moon crabs plan to steal the South Tower and bring it to the moon for no reason at all. Soon clean up on New York began and many dead corpses were picked up from the street. Almost no one that was in New York at the time made it out alive, only leaving a handfuls of children and their mothers were left alive while males made it out alive, but losing their families in the process.
In the end, only 69 survivors made it out alive. But of course, you may ask what about the Pentagon you might ask? What happened there? Well… I’ll tell you… once you sit down first and stop acting like a little bitch first that is. Well what happened at the Pentagon on that fateful day was just as tragic as the Twin Towers. As Hitler crashed into the Pentagon building, there was a 7/11 nearby.
The people that were running it were two high school kids that had an IQ somewhere below 50, had acne covering all of their faces, and they were white... because black people usually stayed away from a 7/11 due to the fact that 7 is in the name. It weakens our powers whenever we are near a seven.
These two high school students watched the horrific tragedy unfold before their very eyes, but in the end, they just grabbed a VHS camera and started filming it and saying, "Wooooooooooooah! a "plane' just flew into the Pentagon... isn't that wacky!?"
And then they went to Hollywood to sell the footage they had just caught on VHS and pitch a movie idea, which would become known as the 9/11 Cinematic Universe even though it took place on 9/10. But it was called 9/11 because it was a government cover up in order to invade Iceland. Although it was later leaked that the time traveling Hitler that caused the damage on 9/10, but still the movies were labeled as 9/11, and it was a huge cinematic universe spanning 42 different movies including one where it looked at back story of where one of the planes came from and how it was built.
Another one was the back story of the fields located somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania and what came before it too... it involved mostly rape though in the 1950's. However the one that the two high school kids pitched to Hollywood was called 9/11: 7/11. It would go on to gross two point three billion dollars, and win over hundred awards. It was also considered to be a classic for many generations to come in that particular universe.
As for the Pentagon itself, it was subjected to horrors never before seen by mankind as Hitler flew into the Pentagon. Once Hitler flew into the Pentagon, his arms fell right before it hit the buildings, just by a few micro seconds. So only Hitler, his torso, and his legs hit the building which created a huge explosion that led to the deaths of three people.
However, over seven thousand died that day at the Pentagon. So you might be asking yourself... what killed three other passengers? Well... that's where Hitler's arms come in. You see, once Hitler's arms feel off, it was still alive, a living, breathing thing and started to run around and kill people. For whatever reason, the motivation is unclear.
But it had a thirst for blood as it went around the Pentagon building and started killing people as it saw one, no matter if it was black or white so I guess Hitler’s Arms wasn’t racist. And no one was able to stop it either as people just kind of stood by and watched it all happened as they jerked off to it because many people thought it was the hottest thing. In fact the footage of the people dying by the hand of Hitler's detached arms is on Porn Hub with over seventy million views on it. It is fair to say, many people have jizzed and got off to Hitler's arms killing people to be a great sex thing, as apparently many books have been written about the subject to wear some experts believe that Hitler's arms killing people helps a relationship and is a great thing to jack off to for couple's therapy.
However, Hitler's arms are still killing people so it technically it is illegal for it to be alive. So it is still on the run. Legend has it though that it is still on the run and well alive to this very day and that it resides in a nice little cabin with his wife and children somewhere in Wyoming. Why Wyoming you might ask? Because no one expects to check the state of Wyoming as only three other people live there besides Hitler's arms and his family.
As for that little field in Pennsylvania... well what the fuck do you expect? No one gives a single fuck about that field? Not even ol' white gives a rat's ass about it. It's just a field. If it was a building, people would have said, "Yeah, it's a building... we need to see the action here. We must avenge it. Building Lives Matter." But instead it's not and just a field.
Did anybody die though? That answer would be two farmers and a chipmunk but again... no one cares. So it is largely forgotten and written out of History text books because it was just a field after all and it was located somewhere in Pennsylvania, which makes it even worse. Although legend does have it, Hitler's body there was never recovered and the government decided to do secret testing to see if they too could absorb the power of Hitler's magical flying ability. Suffice to say, they have yet to learn of Hitler's magic ways of the force. And that is pretty much sums up the events of 9/10.
It was truly a tragic day in human history, along with a slight government cover up that failed. It was also weird too that Hitler was at all four places at once and hit all the areas at the same time.
My guess is that once Hitler had time traveled, he had become a quantum like being and therefore, no one saw him coming. At the end of the day though, this universe's thoughts on 9/10 was truly horrifying, and many generations to come would learn about the horrible events and its sequel, 9/11 2: Electric Boogaloo while 9/10 was just a prequel. However, the people of this universe continue to say this one important phrase and to never, ever let it go.
Never forget 9/10, at least for the next three years that is. One questions remains from 9/10 that has yet to be answered, and some say it may never be answered. Can Hitler Melt steel beams? I'll see all of you whites in hell...
BACK TO KNIGHT
Huh... I feel a weird sense that Morgan Freeman has returned from the great beyond to invade my story once more. What the hell is up with that guy? Indian people's stories like that, doesn't he have a sense of privacy? Whatever happened to knocking, huh? HUH!?
Well... he's gone… I think... although I feel that this is only the beginning and he will return. I feel like he's trying to gain even more power than what he has now by searching for some stones, magical stones that is... to become a god. He'll probably won't find it because it probably doesn't exist. But a black guy will believe in anything I suppose.
Well aside from that, I had asked that question of what happened to Hitler and what the pirates did to him. It was weird knowing that they came across a human being that caused 7 gazillion Jews to die and give him a magical ability to fly over London. At that point, you might as well made him Godzilla, in which case an alternate universe pretty much exists of that isn't there?
MORGAN FREEMAN
An alternate universe does exist where Hitler became Godzilla and destroyed all of London during world war two. And the pirates gave him this magical ability as they cried tears of joy seeing their new friend kill millions of people. I had to get that in there... I'm Morgan Freeman after all... and I am somewhat cursed to do this forever...
BACK TO KNIGHT...
Why do I feel like Morgan freeman invaded my personal space again? That fucking asshole... HEY! MORGAN FREEMAN! IF YOU'RE IN MY JOURNAL RIGHT NOW, GET THE FUCK OUT!! I'M WRITING HERE! I'M WRITING... fucking... asshole. Anyways, with that being said, I stopped questioning about it because the more that I thought about Hitler flying through London during World War two was too much of a concept for my brain to take.
Then again, Neon exists, so I have no excuse really. But I also didn't want to waste much time as much as I had did by speaking to the pirates so I then asked the pirates, "So... after you gave Hitler the ability to fly… then what?"
The Pirate Captain then said to me, "Well after we saw him disappear, we just kind of went on to the next universe since there wasn’t much else to do. So when we traveled to the next universe, we ended up here. And we decided to rest here for a bit so we can get back to trying to find our universe and argh shit."
I then said to the Pirate Captain, "Huh, well hopefully you get back home I guess. There are a lot of universes that you could potentially end up in."
The Pirate Captain then said to me, "Argh, we know, we know, it's been a rough few years on the crew, but we keep our spirits up by doing the things that we love and that doesn't make it blow our brains out every day. Argh."
I then said to the Pirate Captain, "Well good luck to you then. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm trying to get back home myself. So far, it hasn't been easy as of late. I even had a chance by the way of Baby Jesus, and he was just about to send me home but he ended up fucking me over by leaving me by myself... wait a minute... I just thought of something. Do you think you guys can be my new Dues Ex Machina and send me back home?"
The Pirate Captain then said to me as loud as he could towards me as he inched a little bit towards me to make sure I knew it was towards me, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! WE'RE PIRATES, FUCK YOU!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
And then the pirate ship took off in a flash, high into the sky and flew further and further away from my eyes to the point where it started to look like a tiny dot in the sky. And once they were far enough away, a tiny sparkle lit the sky up a tiny bit, pretty much saying that had left the universe and into another. At that point, I was fucked... and being fucked over twice by two opportunities that could have brought me home was a bitch to take all in.
But I still had hoped for the best for them since they were lost and not at home. I know how that feels sometimes and it's kind of sad too knowing that you're far away from home and you really want to go back home, but you're lost. But yet when you try but can't seem to get anywhere, it's kind of sad, especially to the ones that try their best.
And the pirates, even those that were mostly faggots... they seemed like pirates that were home sick. I just wonder is all, what universe did they end up at next after the one that they had just visited Equestria? I'll possibly never know.
MORGAN FREEMAN...
It's me again, and yes Knight... I can hear you... but you can't hear me other than sense me by using your white guy power to know that I am here with you... in spirit. But regardless of that, I am here to tell you what happened to the pirates and the pirate ship.
Well, let's start off like this, and if you have a problem with it, well I'm Morgan freeman bitch... I have the power to shoot lightning out of my tiny, insignificant freckles on my face. So don't mess with me... bitch. We now go back to Earth, in another, alternate universe where 9/10 never happened. Instead, it's an alternate universe where Nintendo stopped acting like douchebags and started getting serious for once.
All the members of the board were in at the Nintendo headquarters located somewhere in Japan and they were all have a meeting about the future of the business. You see... for those that do not know... Nintendo, despite how great they are, has a tendency to be grade ‘A’ douchebags and assholes and basically create a new slanderish word... a douchehole. These doucheholes have been very protective of their property.
In fact, it was too protective. Just like a parent over protecting their child, Nintendo pretty much will kill anyone and ruin their lives if they fuck with them and their midget Italian. Although that's what everyone else thinks, I for one think that little Italian midget is actually a Mexican midget. Just look at the first game; he's clearly a Mexican midget just trying to jump over the border. Go on and see for yourself... you know I'm right.
And I am right... because I'm Morgan Freeman, and anything that I say goes and becomes the truth. So fuck you. But aside from my god like status and my mind controlling freckles, Nintendo here though are just another company run by old people that don't know a thing or two of today's time. However, in this universe, Nintendo finally came to their sensed and finally decided to let their guard down and embrace the digital age by allowing people to play their games and post play throughs online or have people emulate their games without a single legal claim against them.
In all honestly, who the fuck is going to pay Ice climbers again? That game is shit. And since I'm Morgan Freeman and I am in your presence, I declare Ice Climbers to be shit and dog shit and will forever be so. Well not only that, but they even allowed fan made games, and A2MR was raised from the ashes and birthed anew. Nintendo was starting to become less like doucheholes and more like actual people for once.
Sure, this may be taking this as my opinion, but I’m Moran Freeman, and my opinion becomes facts, and the facts become law of the land. But if you have a complaint about what I have to say, all you have to do is just find my home in the heavens, in which case I will smite you with my power where you stand.
So at this meeting, they all had their legal papers in front of them all the while in their fancy suits and ties while making sure they look presentable in public. They were sitting in their fancy chairs at one big long table made out of glass that was spotless and looked like it couldn't be cleaner than it was.
And as for the room itself, it was at the tallest point in the building that they were in, located somewhere in a big fancy city in Japan where everyone is minding their own businesses and doing whatever the Japanese do... which is probably watch Hentai while eating Pocky every other hour.
And so with that in mind, the one that led Nintendo was at the furthest of the table, as the sun shined through the glass as the day itself was nice and sunny. The head guy of Nintendo spoke up after everyone had done discussing their new plans of going about business on the online world.
He pretty much said to everyone in the room in their usual Japanese voice, "O-a-k now... we all a-gree that we will stop being so st-rict about our old policies and allow piracy to happ-en."
Then another man spoke up and asked the head guy of Nintendo, "Are you sure about this? I thought the pi-rates were our ene-mies!? Have we not for-got-en our ways! The ways of our fath-ers!?"
The head guy of Nintendo then got very mad and gave him a scrawling look and said, "You do-not-a question me! Take him a-way!"
Then a bunch of weird sexual tentacles came from out of nowhere from the walls and took the one that questioned that head guy of Nintendo away, while the guy was saying, "No! No-o! I have brought a-shame to my fam-ly name! I must kill my-a-self in order to pro-a-tect the family name and hor-nor!"
Then the guy struggled out free from the grasp of the tentacles as it try to wrap it’s long, slimy arms around his body and he then quickly drew his sword that he had in his pocket since all Japanese have one just in case, and quickly stabbed himself. Although he did protect his family's name and honor, although he did have to serve 15,000 years in Hentai hell. And trust me, the only thing you need to know about it is that it has lots and lots of tentacles coming from out of nowhere... the rest... you don't even want to know.
As for the head guy of Nintendo, he sat back down and was quite calm once more and he then asked everyone else in the room, "So we all a-gree then?"
And then everyone nodded their heads and agreed to the new policy changed. And then the head guy of Nintendo picked up a nice black pen and signed his name on a document, claiming that day forth they would be a new; a better Nintendo that wasn't run by a bunch of out of touch doucheholes. But once he had signed that document, they had pretty much sealed their fate.
Because once he had signed that document, the pirates that were lost in time and space, you know the ones from before, came in and started ransacking the place. Although you might be asking a lot of questions... like how... and why? Well let's just say you ask too many questions. But if you must know, what happened is that after the pirates had left that My Little Pony universe, they had ended up back on Earth and back in Japan.
Like I said, but these pirates have a special sense of when others have their guard down and then they can loot some booty for their ship. And they had sensed that Nintendo had let down their guard, so they had parked their flying ship near the building and waited for the meeting to conclude and have the paperwork become signed, and once that document was signed... the magical force field that protected Nintendo from pirates went away... and that meant that pirates were free to do whatever they so pleased.
So they broke through all the glass windows as they the pirates swung from the ropes and started causing havoc amongst everyone in the building at the time.
And as all the pirates were causing trouble with throwing stuff around, yelling, screaming "Arrrrrrgh!", they also made sure to catch some people and tried to even rape them. As for the Pirate Captain, he yelled out to everyone, "We are here to claim our booty Nintendo!"
The head guy of Nintendo, who was stricken with so much fear that he was hiding in the corner, said out loud in a desperate attempt to make the pirates go away, "JUST TAKE-A-IT, TAKE-A-IT ALL! YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE GAMES... JUST LEAVE US-A-BE!!!”
The Pirate Captain then walked up with his peg leg towards the head guy of Nintendo and then grabbed him by his back and put him on his stomach, hard on the glass table and said to him, "Arrrrgh! We're not up here for your silly games Nintendo! We're here for your booty!"
The head guy of Nintendo then said as he was confused and struggling to break free even though it was hopeless, "I don't-a-get it... that is our booty!?"
The Pirate Captain then said, "Arrrrrrgh! We're pirates! We go seeking booty... and your booty looks fine as fuck! Arrrrgh…"
And then the Pirate Captain immediately pulled the head guy of Nintendo’s pants down and saw his bare, old, wrinkly ass.
He slowly licked his lips, as his eyes lit up and said to him softly in his ears, "Arrrgh... this is the booty that we seek."
The head guy of Nintendo then said, "Please-a-don’t-a rape me!"
The head guy of Nintendo had pleaded and hoped that the Pirate Captain's big cock wouldn't penetrate his asshole.
However, the Pirate Captain then said to him, "What!? We're not here to rape you! Like I said! Arrrrgh! We're pirates and we're here to claim our booty!"
And then the Pirate Captain took his long, sharp, pointy pirate sword... and swiped it across the head guy of Nintendo's ass, literally cutting off his booty... in which case there was a lot of blood everywhere one the pirate captain had cut off his ass. And once he had cut it clean off, the head guy of Nintendo went into shock and soon bled to death, although he did scream a lot though once his ass was cut off.
And once the Pirate Captain had claimed his prize, he held it high in the air and with pride and said, "Arrrgh! We are here for our booty! Go ahead crew and dig in!"
And from that point in, it became pure and utter terror for the Asian people. Butts were being sliced off from left and right. Asses were no longer there and instead were lots and lots of blood... possibly even human feces as well.
As well as some pretty bad colons just hitting right dab on the floor, with one of the colons being alive like an unborn fetus and saying, "Killlllllllllllllll meeeeeeeeee..."
And that was not even the half of it. As some Asians tried to escape their inevitable fates of having their asses being cut off, the pirate crew were scrambling, trying to capture their prey and their lust for the booty.
So the Pirate Captain standing on top of the glass table and yelling as loud as he could while still holding his booty said to the whole pirate crew, "RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!!"
With that being said, some of the pirate crew jumped back onto the ship and started turning a little circle thing that opened up a hidden door on side of the ship. And then came emerged from the darkness, a monster so terrible, it frightened the Asians half to death, as it was either going to be having their asses cut off, or face the monster from their nightmares.
Either one would be their fate and they had little time to react. The monster that emerged from the darkness that was hiding underneath the ship was a signing ass that farted every few seconds while on a unicycle that possibly spoke a language located somewhere in South America. The signing ass just went back and forth on the unicycle as the chaos continued as the Asians had their asses cut off, with no tentacle monster to save them, as the tentacle monster was their god... and not even god could save them from the pirates.
As for those that got their asses cut off, some had the unfortunate luck to be alive and live into their old age with brittle bones and poor eye sight without an ass to sit on while others passed out due to the shock of having their asses just being cut right off from their own body.
Some even died, as some could not live without their anuses. As for those that were able to live on without an ass, instead of shitting out of what used to be their anus, they had to shit out of their mouths as it was the only thing that they could do. They also couldn't get off when they were to jerk off since not having an ass really decreased their sexual appeal and their perception of what is being sexy is.
It was quite a nightmare of a life that they had to live, as it was so horrific, the museum that used to host for the two cities that were bombed in World War 2 was knocked down in place of another memorial... the day when the pirates came and took the asses from the people who were at Nintendo as it was more horrific than a nuclear bomb being dropped on two large cities. As for the pirate crew that got away scott free that day with their new bountiful loot of newly acquired asses; once they had left the Nintendo headquarters building, their ship went into the air and then they went into another universe still trying to find their home.
But as they went into another universe, they were all celebrating due to the fact that they had gotten asses or their so called booty. They were all dancing and cheering and singing songs of pure delight. As for Nintendo though, they sadly never recovered. Still to this day in that little alternate universe, Nintendo was never the same ever again.
What had happened devastated the company and sadly it had to downsize as a company and very few employees were left for many feared of the pirates returning to claim their asses. As for the ones that did stay and worked at Nintendo, it certainly wasn't the old people that was at the headquarters since they either all died or went on to be disabled from having no ass to sit on. So the ones that were left were tasked to make Nintendo great again.
And their first new title after years of recovery was Metroid: Other M 2: Electric Boogaloo. Unfortunately for the people that were still working at Nintendo, they all got lynched and died. And that pretty much wraps up what happened to the pirates. They all went and fucked shit up and took some booty.
And then they went off to continue their little adventure, trying to find that isand filled with treasure and their home. Although since I am god, I can tell you a little about the future for them.
They come back at some point, but thankfully I won’t have anything to do with it… hopefully… Well, that's about it for me I think, at least I pray to me that it is the end. This has been your moment with Morgan Freeman... until next time... I'll be coming for you whites.
BACK TO KNIGHT...
Why do I keep feeling like my story is getting hijacked by fucking Morgan Freeman all of a sudden again? I mean come on, I'm supposed to have control over how I tell my life's story. And it's not like... oh wait a minute... it seems Morgan freeman's magic is in this journal of mine... because his words is in the journal. I mean I sure as hell didn't write it, right? Anyways, let's move on from Gordon Freeman or whatever.
After I had wondered what had happened with that pirate ship and shit, I had to continue to move on. The sun at this point was already down and I had a long ways to go before I were to get home. At that point, it was all starting to get to me. Every single thing that had happened so far; I just wanted to be done and over with.
So with that being said, I had started to move on foot... hoof... whatever... again towards the direction that I was going before. And it was starting to get lonely for me. Quite lonely as there was nothing but dirt and some snow a little bit here and there and a lot of train tracks. But I kept walking... and walking and walking and walking... until I heard a slight sound as I was passing up a bush.
A familiar sound that I hadn't heard in quite some time. It was a deep meow that came from the bush. And once I had heard that noise, I had stopped in my tracks and turned my head towards the bush to make sure I wasn't hearing anything. And once I had looked towards the bush, another deep meow came from it, and this time it was more of a friendly meow.
I then said, "Uhhh...hello?"
And once I said that, a small cream colored cat came walking out. And once I saw it, I couldn't help but have a little smile on my face. And the cat had meowed again as well which sort of started to melt my heart a little bit.
The cat came walking towards me and started rubbing up against me all the while I was saying, "Awwww....what are you doing here out all alone wittle putty rat?"
Just looking at the cat melted my heart and I couldn’t help but slur my words a little bit. After I had said that out loud, the cat just responded with another meow.
I then had said to the little kitty cat, "Well at least it was just you. Lately being on the train tracks I've been getting a lot of weird stuff that just ends up annoying me or stopping me in my tracks from getting home or some shit like that. But at least I came across something nice for once. Although I do question why you are out here all alone. Maybe you were always a stray perhaps? I mean it seems logical and all, although you being out here near the train tracks isn't necessarily safe for you since a train could come by here and run you over... that or some weird thing would happen and you just get killed and all. How about you come with me and I can take you home.
‘I think I have a pet tiger that might like you... or maybe not... I don't even remember what happened to that tiger. What did happen to it? Never mind, it doesn't matter now. What shall I call you? I know! I shall call you Putty Rat! Mostly because I have no good names for a cat in my head. So does that name sound good to you wittle Putty Rat?"
As I said that, I had a little smile on my face as I saw Putty Rat just rub himself against me. And after waiting for a response, even though I never really expected one, he just purred very loudly and to me. I could tell he was happy as he could be, or at least that’s what it felt like when just hearing the cat purr.
I then said to Putty rat, "Perfect! Well now you're going to come with me and..."
I was then cut off by a very foul smell that I started to smell. I sniffed a little bit more and I had to stop breathing through my nose and breathe only through my mouth.
When I did that, I asked Putty Rat, "What is that smell?"
And then Putty Rat just looked to the bushes and I started to have an idea form in my head.
I looked back towards Putty Rat and then said to him, "It must be coming from those bushes that you just came out of. Were you in there taking a little shit before I came over here?"
I couldn't help but have a little smile still form on my face despite the smell. However though it was a bit weird considering it was a very powerful and I don't think it shouldn’t have been that bad to begin with.
I then said to Putty Rat, "Well whatever you did Putty Rat, it's really stinking up here. What did you eat?"
Putty Rat just looked at me towards me with his big, reflective eyes that looked like glass. Then he gave a little meow and looked back towards the bush. I then couldn't help but needed to check out the smell since it was such a foul order and all.
It had my curiosity rise a little bit. So I walked over to the bush from where I found the cat and as I got closer, the smell started to get worse and worse, but it did confirm that the smell was defiantly coming from the bush. So I went there and poked my head through to see what it was and it wasn't the best sight in the world. In fact, I was kind of confused but yet shocked at the same time as to what I saw. Let's put it like this: It wasn't shit from a cat. It was a dead, rotting corpse of a cat. The corpse was already rotting and looked like it had been rotting for days, maybe even a month.
The smell was foul as it made feel like I wanted to puke, but it wasn’t the worse thing I had smelled before so I could hold it, but the sight wasn't pretty though. The dead cat's corpse was already open with all of the guts just decaying away as maggots were already on the inside, feeding on the rotting flesh. Flies and other small insects were flying around it or moving around it as the corpse just sat there, dead and lifeless. The corpse looked discolored and any void of life of course, although not even the face was preserved.
The cat's corpse was missing an eye so you could see right through one of the eye sockets and kind of maybe see the brain I think. In which case, it looked... disgusting in a way, but then again a dead cat's corpse isn't the worse thing I've seen. I've seen Movie 43 before I had left Earth, now that is something where someone would want to puke at. Better yet, if there was ever going to be a theatre shooting, it should have been at Movie 43, and even then it would be understandable. Everyone would want to die after seeing a few seconds of that movie.
But anyways, I looked down and said to myself, "Aww... fuck... that is not what I wanted to see today."
I then looked back towards Putty Rat and I then said to him, "What did you do to him!? Oh never mind, I guess if you're a lonely cat out in the world, it's a dog eat dog world. I guess that's the natural order of things. If you have to fight to survive... you're going to have to kill. TK taught me something like that... too bad I never listened. Oh well, I suppose as long as you don't kill me in the end Putty Rat, we'll still be cool."
Then Putty rat said in response with another soft, cute little meow as he just looked at me. Again, I had a little smile, and then I went ahead and took one last good look at that dead cat. I then got the thought of maybe trying to give it a proper burial. But then I started to notice something. Something that was a bit off from the dead cat's corpse.
I took a second hard look this time and started to squint my eyes for a few seconds. And then after looking over every little detail that I could see from where I was standing at, because if I wasn't going to bury it, there's no way in hell I’m touching that shit with a 20 foot pole. Then again I wouldn’t even touch Germany with a 100 foot pole. Anyways, I looked at all the details... and then it hit me.
That dead cat looked a lot like the Putty Rat. It seemed like a possible idea, but at the same time, Putty Rat was standing right there. I felt his soft, light fur brush against my pony legs. I could hear his purring as well as pretty much everything else that would confirm a physical presence and existence of a cat that you can think of what I saw, heard, and felt. I even took a quick look back towards Putty Rat just to make sure I wasn't seeing things and he was sitting right there, looking at me with his big ol' eyes that shined a little bit.
He even gave slightly meow towards me before he just lied down on the dirt ground and just stared at me. He even looked tired a bit. I then took another look at the dead cat's corpse and then tried to wrap my head around what I was seeing and thinking. But I instead just tried to push all thoughts related to the dead cat's corpse and Putty Rat being related in some way and just put on a smile.
A forced smile that pretty much said, 'Hey... everything is fine. Everything is going to be ok. Everything is handy dandy. There's nothing to go wrong today. The world isn't going to end. My girlfriend is going to dump me. I'm not going get mugged and stabbed on the streets while everyone watches, point their finger, and laugh at how weak I am. It's certainly not going to be the holocaust again where 6 Jews die.
‘My whole perception on reality is certainly not going to be broken but someone simply suggesting me that really this is all a simulation and all the voices that were in my head were just victims that I burned all alive one night at a bar because I was drunk and the bar tender said I had enough, but really I didn't have enough because I wasn't done repressing my childhood memories yet again, but the bar tender tells me to leave so I said fuck him and pour gasoline all over the place and set the place on fire.
‘Which it then lead s to over three hundred deaths but yet the police can't figure out who or what caused it even though I was outside, still drunk yelling I did it. But at the end of the day I just went back home, fell asleep and lay in my own vomit after I puked on the bed due to drinking so much. Then I get up not remembering what happened but then remembering that I had committed Tax Evasion and the IRS had not caught me yet but at the same time I’m pretty sure I had a bad feeling that I had just committed second degree murder so I go to some scientist and make a whole simulation so my whole life can be a lie so the voices in my head stop telling me I did it.
‘I know I did it, why else do you think I'm trying to break my own reality by putting myself in an inescapable simulation. TODD! I KNOW I FUCKING DIDN'T PAY YOUR TEN BUCKS AND I KILLED YOU AT THE FUCKING BAR, SO PLEASE STOP TELLING ME THAT IN MY HEAD! ALL THE SOULS THAT HAVE BEEN DAMNED WON'T STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT... OK!? YOU DON'T NEED TEN BUCKS IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! BESIDES, THE AFTERLIFE DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING CURRENCY TODD! NOT EVEN GOLD, SO YOUR TEN BUCKS IS AS USELESS AS AN XBOX ONE CONSOE SYSTEM TODD!
‘DO YOU HEAR ME YET TODD! DO YOU HEAR ME NOW TODD! BECAUSE THAT FUCKING VERIZON MEME HAS BEEN DEAD FOR OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS AND YET SOMEHOW YOU STILL THINK IT’S FUNNY! WELL MAYBE TODD... I DID YOU A FAVOR AND KILLED YOUR STUPID ASS SO YOU CAN GET SOME COMMON SENSE SMACKED INTO YOU... even though technically you're todd... Todd... todd? TODD! STOP IT! STOP IT TODD! STOP PLAYING THE BACKSTREET BOYS MUSIC ON LOOP IN MY HEAD! AHHHHHH! THIS IS HELL! THIS IS FUCKING HELL! AHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE!
‘I DIDN'T EVEN GRADUATE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL FOR FUCK'S SHAKE! EVERY KID KEPT CALLING ME LITTLE ANNIE BOOM BOOM! BECAUSE I KEPT SHITTING MY PANTS! AHHHHHHHHHH!'
You know that kind of forced smile. That kind that everyone knows about in the real world. Anyways, I had that kind of a forced smile upon my face and trying to forget that I even saw the dead cat's corpse in the first place.
I then walked over to Putty Rat and said to him, "It's just a silly thought isn't it? That you're really dead and you're a ghost to forever walk the earth. I know... I'm just looking too deep into these things. I mean, it's just a silly thought and all. Well, let's try to forget about it, shall we Putty Rat?"
And Putty Rat in response just looked up at me and said , "Meow" again before he started to lie his head gently down towards the ground as if he was about fall gently asleep. I then gave a slight 'Aww' sound as it was sort of cute and really started to poke at my heartstrings.
So I then closed my eyes a little bit and rose up my right hoof to start petting him a little bit. And as I forced my hoof down to start petting Putty Rat, I was anticipating to feel his soft fur against my right hoof and maybe even feel his heart beat or something like that. But when I put my hoof down... I didn't feel anything other than a slight cold spot. After I didn't feel anything, I started to get worried a little bit and I opened up my eyes and Putty Rat was still there although he was looking at me again with his big, glowing eyes under the night sky. He then gave another meow towards me.
I then started to have that worry look on my face, as if something was off and wrong about what I was doing just now. So I went to try and pet Putty rat again, this time, keeping my eyes wide open, as wide as I could keep them open. So I raised up my hoof again and forced my hoof down to go and gently pet Putty Rat, but this time I slowly lowered my hoof down. And when I thought I was about to have some physical contact with Putty rat's soft looking fur, my hoof just... went through him.
I couldn't believe it; it had just... went through him as if Putty Rat was nothing. But I just didn't want to believe it right away so I kept trying to pet Putty Rat over and over and over and over but each and every time, my hoof just kept going through, as if he wasn't there at all in the first place. And as for Putty Rat, he sat there, looking at me as if I was doing something weird to him and he cocked his head towards the side too.
And after a few more attempts to try and pet Putty Rat, I then stopped trying and gave up. I didn't want to believe the only thing that was calm and nice on my journey so far was not really there. But I had to accept for it what it is and that either Putty Rat was a ghost or it was all in my head this entire time. I had a slight frown on my face instead of a worried look or a smile. It was just a sad look on my face, that sad kind of look that pretty much would say to anyone that I was disappointed as I had expected something different, something entirely.
And it being just me and Putty Rat along with the silence of nothing else other than maybe some slight wind towards our direction, it started to feel a lot more lonely than what I had previously thought before. I even took a few minutes to think about what I had just witnessed and felt bothered from within and without.
I even looked towards the night sky and saw a full moon above my head right next to some twinkling stars. But yet at the same time, looking at it was comforting so much as knowing that there was a dead cat's corpse and what appeared to be a ghost of a dead cat... it started to feel…really lonely but also slightly creepy at the same time. I mean of all the nice things that could have happened, the closet that I got was a cat that was a ghost of a cat that looked like he died a sad death.
And the cat too seemed to have died alone and has been alone by himself for quite some time. So in a weird way it felt like Putty Rat and I were more or less the same... minus the ghost part. I'm pretty sure I'm not Bruce Willis you know... last time I checked anyways that is. But yet the pure silence was starting to get to me again. So I kind of looked down towards the ground a little bit and tried to think of what to say next to Putty Rat, assuming he could understand me at all. And so I gave myself a minute or two and then I spoke again towards Putty Rat.
I said to Putty rat, "Well uhh...not sure what to really make of this situation now."
Putty Rat just gave me a small meow and then went ahead and rubbed against my pony legs. This time, I could feel his soft fur, it felt like if he was alive and not a ghost at all. I felt like he was actually there with me. And I couldn't help but give me a little smile as my reaction from Putty Rat rubbing against my leg. My guess was he was lonely like I was, and he had finally found a friend like me and really liked me.
So an idea struck me and I then said to Putty Rat, "Well then, it looks like you have the ability to choose when you touch physically and what you don't, huh? Well... maybe not, I'm not entirely sure how the ghost world works, but I'm going to assume you know what you're doing Putty Rat. Well, now that I think of it, having a ghost cat as a pet would be kind of awesome. Hell, I might be able to rob banks by teaching you how to fetch... then again I think that won't work because money is physical... and you're a cat... a ghost cat that is. Oh who cares, how about you come home with me little one.
‘Regardless if you're a ghost or not, I really don't care. Hell, since you're a ghost and all, that means you have a less of a chance from being mulled by that tiger that I have... assuming I still have that tiger. Or maybe that tiger just ended up in that ol' trunk of mine. That... endless... bottomless... trunk. Well what do you say Putty Rat!? You want to turn this whole depressing thing around and come home with me and be my ghost pet cat?"
Putty rat then just looked at me again, as if he really did knew what I was saying to him and he just gave me a nice, solid, straight forward meow.
And after he had meowed like that, I had closed my eyes and had a big smile form on my face and I then said to him, “Great! Well then, let's hit the road and leave the dead cat's corpse past behind us... literally... let's just walk away from it because we probably should.”
And then I started walking away and I saw Putty Rat working alongside with me.
I then started talking to Putty Rat, "Well that's the spirit! And assuming we don't come across any other random shit on our journey, we should be at my home in no time! Oh what I'm talking about, it'll be your new home too! Although I'm not sure how Wolf is going to react to it. Or TK. Or Factory Dash even. Well she'll probably not give two fucks and a hamster about it. But Neon and the others would probably care though... but maybe in a good way because I can't see them caring too much beyond what they care about.
‘And now that I think of it, we have to make a mental note of making sure you stay far away from Arrell, even if you are a ghost and shit, I'm sure he'll find a way to do weird shit to you. Maybe he would try and make a Ghost Cat Dad. A black cat that sounds like Bill Cosby, but really he's out to drug people and rape them in their sleep. Good ol' wacky Bill Cosby. That and I also fear Neon might try and do something to you too since he's also kind of weird and has sort of like... random powers and shit.
‘Oh never mind, let's not try and linger over it. Let’s just try and focus on getting there before we start worrying about the future and all. And I'm sure it's a huge relief for you too Putty Rat, since you've been alone here by yourself all this time I assume, watching your dead corpse just rot for days and shit in that bush. I can only imagine it being the only exciting thing to see being all the way out here and nowhere near anyone else. You must be thrilled about going to a new home and maybe even making some friends. Right Putty Rat!?"
I had said that last sentence with a big ol' smile on my face as I had quickly closed my eyes for... some reason... I don't know what to tell you other than this is Equestria with magical talking Technicolor talking ponies. What do you expect from me when I for some reason close my eyes for a few seconds, huh? Well anyways, I had expected a meow or something, but I didn't hear anything.
In fact, I could feel like he wasn't even near me as we were walking back towards the direction of my home. So I started to slow down my pace a little bit and looked down quickly towards the ground at my side to see if he was still there.
When I did, I had also said, "Putty Rat?"
But yet, I didn't see him. I then started to have a thought that maybe he could also turn invisible whenever he wanted... that or maybe he was all in my head and I was starting to go crazy due to the lack of any contact with any ponies at all. I mean I was starting to miss Neon a bit... NEON... NEON MOTHER FUCKING PARTY I WAS STARTING TO MISS DUE TO THE SHEERSILLINESS THAT I WAS EXPERIENCING AT THAT TIME!
And Neon of all people... ponies... whatever... I must have been desperate at that time. But I then stopped in my tracks and had the feeling that Putty Rat wasn't just turned invisible, but he was behind me. So I looked behind me and he wasn’t there either, but then I heard a faint meow in the distance and I looked further into the place that I just at and there he was, Putty Rat was just sitting there, but he was meowing and meowing at me over and over again, and didn’t seem like he wanted to walk towards me.
Once again, I had a worried look on my face and so I walked back towards the place where I was just at and when I went over there, Putty Rat just kept meowing and meowing but once I got there he stopped, as if I was leaving or something. I then had a bit more of a worried look upon my face and I was confused as to what the problem was.
So I then asked Putty Rat, "What's wrong little fella? Don't you want to come back home with me?"
But I didn't get a response from Putty Rat. If anything, he just stared at me dead straight into my eyes.
I then said to him, "Well if you want to come, we better get going then."
So I turned myself around and started walking for a few feet and I checked by my side once again and still, he wasn't there. He wasn’t moving from that spot so I looked behind myself and gave a little sigh. I then went over towards Putty Rat once again and tried my best to figure out what the problem was since Putty Rat wasn't moving and he wasn't meowing either to give me any signals or hints as to what the problem might be.
So I sat there with the pure silence of the night and tried to figure out what was the matter and why Putty Rat wouldn't want to move at all or come with me. And then I thought it for a whole minute and again, it hit me. So I did a quick little test and I started walking towards back to the bushes and as expected, Putty Rat was following me.
So I then headed back towards the direction that I was previously walking towards and I tried to see what his reaction would be. And as I had guessed, he stopped at the same place where he didn't want to move. And then it became clear to me that since he's a ghost and all, he is forever to walk the Earth... possibly alone and without a companion to keep him happy or company.
Not only that but... the sad part is, he forever had to walk the earth alone... and be restricted in one little area. It seemed to me something was blocking him from moving forward.
It's as if when he was meowing constantly, he was afraid that I was leaving him all by himself and those meows were in distress and that he really wanted to come with me, but in the end, he couldn't because he just couldn't walk past the area that he had died at. I tried to come up with a solution but... I had no idea how the afterlife worked here other than I know there's a heaven and a purgatory... along with Neon hell of all things.
But... in a way... Putty Rat was in hell… a never ending hell of never being able to leave the area where he had died. I tried to still think of a solution though. In my head, I pondered some ideas that may or may not work. Maybe Putty Rat didn't know he was dead and still thought he was still alive. But judging from earlier and how he kept looking at that bush, he probably knew he was already dead, possibly for days.
Not only to mention he just stops at one point on the tracks and cannot move any further. So I had also thought that maybe he had needs to move, as in he isn't meant to continue to live on a little ghost cat, but instead he just needs to find that light and walk towards it and then be in kitty cat heaven where he can forever be in a place of pure bliss where he would have other cats to meet and play with.
Maybe he just needed to find a way to move on and I was his only help. But I'm sure something would have happened where he would have moved on. So my only thought left was that maybe his soul isn't at rest until his remains were buried. Well, if that was that case, then it would either mean he would finally move on or he could finally come home with me. That or he may not move on at all and he would be forever stuck there, but looking at the poor little fella, I wanted to at least give it a shot.
So I then said to Putty Rat, "Maybe… maybe it's because you need your dead cat's corpse to be buried, huh? Is that the problem Putty Rat? It what needs to be done in order for you to move on past that one point?"
Putty Rat just gave a slight, small meow towards me and it was just me, Putty Rat, and the silence once more along with a slight gust of wind moving past us at that point.
So I gave a little smile and had an optimistic outlook on the whole situation and said to Putty Rat, "Well, let's see if we can't give you a proper burial... and maybe a short funeral as well."
So I started walking towards Putty Rat's dead corpse and Putty Rat of course followed me. I went into the bushes and looked at the dead cat corpse. I was then reminded of the smell since I had briefly gotten away from it, but I could hold it long enough to give Putty Rat a proper burial. However, I was a bit hesitant about picking up the dead cat's corpse into my hands... hooves... whatever... I mean... who knows what kind of black guy disease I could catch. AIDs, malaria, you name it. But then again, I've done way more badly than this. I mean, I did kill Horseshoes if you recall... assumingly that is... so I went ahead used my fancy smancy magic instead and put the dead cat's corpse on my back.
My, bare, bone back that also had the strap to my satchel... which I forget half the time. Anyways, after I had picked up the dead cat's corpse, I turned around and Putty Rat was just looking at me funny. Like, he was a bit worried and he even gave a wittle meow towards me.
I responded to Putty Rat with, "Don't worry little guy, this won't be a pet cemetery situation... although who knows, some guy named Herculad might come along and have sex with your dead corpse. But don't worry about that, we all encounter sick freaks in our lives at least once. Sometimes twice. I know I have. Anyways, where do you think you would want to be buried at Putty Rat?"
Putty just gave another meow in response, but he then looked away from me and was staring down the train tracks for whatever reason. Who knows, maybe he saw a ghost or something. Or maybe something even worse... like a roast! Well, I then rolled my eyes a little bit, but in a friendly way with a little smile still on my face, still having hope that this would work and so Putty Rat's ghost may be free to walk the Earth, so he could be a free spirit, like a pink pony that liked surgery treats or something... I don't know I'm just guessing here.
Anyways, I looked around and to be fair, there wasn't many spots nearby that would qualify as a good spot to burry a dead, decomposing thing. So I just looked towards my left and thought why the fuck not? Why not just put it near where he died... by the train tracks.
So I only walked a slight few feet from where I was previously standing, slightly off to the left of the bush where Putty Rat died at, and looked down at the ground and wondered how the fuck I was going to even make a hole that's six feet deep. I thought about it and I did have powerful magic after all so I could just make a spell that magically made a hole six feet deep... but at the same time, I preferred to write a spell down in my big book of spells when I do that because more than likely after a few days and a couple of tequilas and shit, I pretty much forget everything that I want to repress, like every time when I went to chuck e cheese with my uncle... yes... it happened... or did it? I don't know, I can't remember because all I can remember is blacking out, but who knows and who cares and besides, I'm sure Putty Rat deserved better than me being lazy and assign a spell to put his dead corpse six feet under. So what I did instead of was try to dig a big hole as big as I could with my two hooves.
Too bad the ground was all cold and shit. I even tried to dig a little pit, but the cold dirt floor was kind of hard to dig in and I barely made a scratch. But a spell that I did remember off the top of my head was a fire spell...something to heat up the ground and hopefully that it would make it a lot easier to move the dirt. I'm not sure if that would have worked back on Earth but it made sense in this universe… I guess.
So I concentrated real hard and then poof... some fire came out of my horn. You Didn’t expect to use my horn… huh? It's been a while... hasn’t it? Well anyways, I could feel the heat of the flames coming off from my horn, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle and I aimed it towards the ground and waited a few minutes to warm up the ground. As for Putty Rat, he saw but he didn't care. That's cats for you; sometimes they're interested in you and sometimes it's only a one night stand.
So anyways, I went ahead and warmed up the ground and as soon as I felt like it was warmed up enough, I stopped the spell and touched the ground a little bit. It was a bit hot, but perfect. That and the dirt was well loose so I was able to dig myself a hole. And so I got to digging and there really isn't much to tell there. I dug a big as a hole that I thought I needed, and I think it was six feet deep, but not entirely sure.
And I did all of this while perfectly balancing the dead cat's corpse on my back... ok that was a lie...it wasn't perfectly balanced, it was slightly off balanced towards the right side of my body, but I still had it on my back. And when I was finished, there was dirt on my hooves and some dirt on my face and I even started to sweat a little bit.
I certainly needed to be cleaned up once I had gotten home. But I still had a smile on my face because I was finished and was able to gently put the dead cat's corpse into the six feet deep hole. And when I mean by gently, I mean I just chucked it in there. Mostly because who the fuck cares, he was dead and wasn't feeling anything. And then after I chucked Putty Rat's dead corpse in there, Putty Rat's ghost took noticed and walked on over. Once he did, he took a little peek over the edge and saw his dead corpse in there. He looked a little sad, but he just looked up at me and gave me another meow.
I then said to Putty Rat, "Don't worry, I'm going to say a few words for you. So listen up everybody! We are all here today to mourn the loss of Putty Rat! He was... a good cat. A friendly cat. A cat that sadly died alone and his ghost has been hunting this area ever since... all alone as well. However, I'm sure from wherever he came from, he had lived a good life that didn't involved money laundering or tax evasions. And I'm sure in his little kitty cat life; he didn't need to deal with second degree murder.
‘A cat's life is like that you know. They don't have to worry about bills or taxes, getting a job, getting an education while whoever is taking care of them has to worry about that while the pet just sits there minding their own business. Just sitting there on their fat lazy asses and relaxing. The only thing they ever have to worry about is being put down... which is often. So with that being said, may Pony Jesus bring him peace and not put him Kitty Hell. Uhhh... God bless and amen and shit. Ok! Bury time!"
I then looked towards Putty Rat and asked him, "How was that?"
Putty Rat just gave me a meow in which case I then said to him, "Nice to hear. Ok then let's get this corpse dug up, although sorry for not having a tombstone Putty Rat but as you can see, there are no sticks nearby. Although there is that bush so... I guess that's your epitaph in a weird way."
And then I went ahead and pushed all the dirt into the hole as quickly as I could. And once that was finished, I tried to flatten down the dirt as best as I could, while also making a few bumps the best I could to symbolize that a dead cat's corpse was six feet under there.
And once that was done, I had a big smile on my face and looked towards Putty rat and I said to him, "So... you think you're free now Putty Rat and you can go home with me now?"
Putty Rat just gave me another meow and then it was back to pure silence. I was a bit worried as I kept my smile on, but I had to be optimistic and not to give up hope.
So I said to Putty Rat, "Great to hear! Let's go home."
And so I started heading back towards the way that I was going and Putty Rat followed by my side.
And as we were walking, I was thinking to myself, 'Yes, this should work and soon I'll have a ghost cat pet of my own. Not many can say that now can they? Well, I just wonder how we'll get home now? I'm sure I'm still a bit of a ways off. I wonder if TK did it when he was traveling and was trying to find me?'
However, my thoughts were soon quickly cut off by meowing. And I was afraid to look down by my side, but I had to just to see what was happening… and... he wasn't there. He wasn't there and I didn't fix the problem.
However I kept hearing meowing more and more, and it kept getting louder and louder and I started to feel a bit of depression flowing through me. And I looked behind me slowly and there Putty Rat was... just standing at the same spot where he couldn't pass. I had no longer a smile on my face, just a big ol' frown and a lot of thoughts going through my head.
And as for Putty Rat, he was meowing in distress... looking sad... looking like he was going to be forever alone again. He didn't want to leave my side and wanted to go with me from the looks of it, but he couldn't pass through whatever that was keeping him behind. But.. .the sad truth was... I was out of ideas. I didn't know what to do. But yet I started to feel like I wanted to cry.
I could feel the tears welling up inside me, but instead I kept it all in and said as loud as I could as Putty Rat continued to meow as loud as he could, "I'm sorry Putty Rat... I-I-I don't know what to do now... I don't even know what to say. I-I tried... I really did... but... I can't do anything to help you Putty Rat... I really can't. I know you're sad... and upset... and I'm a little upset too. I'm... I'm sorry... I would want to take you home or maybe even stay with you but... I have to go home now. I'm sorry. I hope you'll be alright without me Putty Rat. Maybe we'll see each other again some day... don't be sad... I'm sorry..."
And all I could do was hang my head low to the ground and keep on walking. I started to feel a type of sadness start to well up in me. I didn’t cry, yet I could feel the tears slowly starting to form in my eyes as my body started to feel a bit weak in a sense of wanting to give up on life.
And I kept on walking; Putty Rat just kept meowing and meowing in a sad tone. As soon as I was far out of sight, I believe, assuming my ears were correct at the time... he meowed one last time, a slight meow. I think that was his way of saying goodbye, as the silence continued to surround him a little wind passed him by. And soon Putty Rat was all by himself and I was uncertain if I would ever see him again.
And to think that a cat I had just met was starting to mean a lot to me... well... it sounds silly... but it was the truth since I kept seeing this weird and random things and here comes along a nice thing and it's all of a sudden taken away from me. However, honestly, I think it was just knowing that the cat died and was alone was what pulling at my heart strings. Just knowing that a lost, alone soul that seemed innocent enough at first glance was in that situation kind of put my mind in a sad mood, however there was nothing that I could. I had to keep on moving, put aside my feelings, and get back home...no matter how sad I was. One way or another, I had to go home, with or without a goodbye. So with that being said, I was all alone again, all by myself and what not.
And that one moment of peace from all the crazy stuff was gone and it felt like it was back on to the insanity of it all. But then again, I do feel like it is fitting for me that it ended up being like this. Try to do one thing but in the end life just fucks you over. I was somehow lucky at getting that kind of stuff for me. Well, I had to try and forget about Putty Rat, that ghost cat I had just met. I had to keep moving because I had no other choice and one of the ways to keep moving is to move on and forget. Sure, I felt like I wanted to cry a little bit about leaving that cat, but I had to get going and find a way back home to my little home in Stalia and all. Sure it wasn’t perfect; if anything I wasn’t very fond of it all and my so called friends. But in the end its home.
Besides I kind of started to think to myself while being out there all alone that maybe… just maybe… I shouldn’t’ go home. What I mean is if I wasn’t fond of being in Stalia, I had a very good excuse of not going back because I was lost and everyone else could just say that I just went missing one night.
And then all of the tall tales of me getting eaten by a monster or the big nosed Jew that lives in the cave got me after he attracted me into his cave with his shiny bar of gold as he told me he knew how to make more gold and that he would some me how. And then I was killed by the pointy end of his big long nose. Yeah… the end of Jew’s noses will do that to you if you’re not careful around them enough. I’m pretty sure 6 million died each year because of Jews’ pointy noses and getting stab by them.
Or was that 6 billion people die each year, I forget sometimes. Anyways, I could just escape, but in the end I know I had to go back anyways… because you know… the Universe and all. In which case it’s been a while since I mentioned the Universe huh? Well then again maybe the Universe just didn’t want to bother me at this point in time of my life.
Probably because I was starting to understand how to play it by its rules perhaps and perhaps it was just fucking with me all this time. Who the fuck knows, all I knew was that even if I did wanted out and to live that peaceful life that I was dreaming of… well… it wouldn’t be possible because of the Universe. It probably would just send me straight back to Stalia… in which case now that I think of it… why didn’t the Universe jut put me back in Stalia if it had teleported me around before?
Huh… never occurred to me… oh well who knows, maybe the Universe was just busy or something at that time. Assuming it was doing anything at all that is.
SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE REALM OF THE UNIVERSE…
The Universe was sitting on his throne room in the endless dark void that was his home. He had called it that as it was what he had preferred, but it wasn’t quite an endless dark void.
It was a space that was beyond time and space located somewhere between the universe itself and the outside of the universe. And there in the middle of it all was the Universe’s throne. And there sat the Universe itself, as if he was a king of some kind. In ways he was a king as he controlled time and space and even could rewrite the laws of physics if he had wanted to.
The Universe itself was his normal self as always. He was in his anthropomorphic state and could walk like a bi-pedal creature. And all over his body were the stars and colors of space with blue and purple wrapping all around his body. And even though he had no mouth, he could somehow speak externally. Even though he had no ears to show, he could hear someone talking from miles away.
And even though his eyes had no pupils and only his almond shaped eyes exists as his eyes, he could see clear as day. And around his neck was his cape that he always kept as it was the only article of clothing that he had kept on him. The universe was an oddity, an oddity that not even he was sure who he was and sometimes question if he was an ‘it’ at times.
The universe was going about its usual routine, looking at everything that there was in the universe and making sure to keep everything in check. He was sitting in his throne with its fist on his right cheek, as if he was looking bored. However, the Universe was not, as the Universe was pondering around his mind and wondering what to do about Knight.
He then opened up what looked like a window with his left hand simply by flicking it slightly upwards. And from there he could see Knight walking along the train tracks, but Knight couldn’t see the Universe, nor hear him at all. With the Universe, he sat there, wondering what he should do about Knight. He had met him before and showed him a little bit.
He had showed him a little bit of Heaven and certain things that he found interesting that he needed to know about Knight. So as the Universe was pondering on within his own mind as to what he should do about Knight, he then started to talk out loud.
He said to itself, “Pity. I thought Knight would have had some sort of sense of direction. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. Clearly that TK taught you nothing and clearly he’s a waste of life as well. Nothing good can come from him, no… nothing good cannot come from him. I wish I was aware of your troubles before you entered in the woods earlier, I would have helped you, but I was too simply busy with other issues. But I can see you can take care of yourself somewhat… well… almost somewhat.”
Soon one of his disciples came walking in. This disciple was named Chronos. Chronos was one of five disciples to the Universe. The disciples were created by the universe thousands of years ago so it would not get lonely when all that existed was himself. The disciples always followed the Universe and his orders whenever possible and would help carry out tasks.
They were also helped make up the universe as well as four of them represented the four main elements. However Chronos was not one of those four elements, but instead was the outcast of the group. Chronos was a troubled disciple of the Universe and always threw a fit whenever life was not going his way.
Once Chronos was nearby the Universe, he looked at Chronos and was reminded of what he looked like, as sometimes the Universe became too busy to remember what he had made. The Universe saw Chronos and saw him as he was about the size of a normal sized pony on average, and he walked like just like the Universe and walked on two legs.
Chronos’s arms were a bit longer than the Universe himself, but aside from that, he looked like a mini version of the Universe himself with the exceptions that he had slick looking hair growing from the top of his head and it was all grey compared to the Universe’s diverse range of colors.
But the part that stood out the most to the Universe was Chronos’s eyes. Instead of Universe’s pure, white eyes, Chronos’s eyes were purely black, while the rest of the disciples followed the Universe’s eye color.
After the Universe had taken one good look at Chronos, the Universe asked Chronos, “Tell me Chronos… who do you look like when you are about make a fuss about something?”
Chronos without looking in the eyes of his creator and simply staring into the black void that surrounded the both of them, “This is just how I always look. Although he bothers me as to why you even made me in the first place.”
The Universe then got up from his throne and simply stood up tall and mighty above Chronos and said to him simply, “The same reason why I made your brother and sisters, to assist me in keeping balance throughout the universe, more or less support when I need it the most. I can’t always do my part in keeping the balance of space and the planets you know. Especially nowadays since I have my hands full with Knight to take care of.”
Chronos then asked the Universe, “So why don’t you just stop paying attention to him and get back to work?”
The Universe simply repaid to Chronos with, “Well I would, except I must keep an eye on him. It is my duty to do so. I must try to get him on the right path if at all possible.”
Chronos then started to look at the Universe and into his eyes as the Universe started to walk around their little space for a bit. However when Chronos looked into the eyes of the universe, it was all but a friendly stare into the Universe’s eyes.
Chronos then said to the Universe, “And tell me what is making you follow this ‘duty’? Are you under some magical, enchanted spell that you cannot break? Is there a higher being that is above you? Is it her forcing you to do it?”
The Universe calmly replied to Chronos with, “Well to politely answer your questions; No, I am not under some sort of spell. I am doing this under my free will that I have. I am the Universe after all and control and help keeping balance to it is my job after all. So why wouldn’t I have free will? Second, there is no higher being, well… sort of… although they’re not necessarily stronger than I am too much. Although I do fear there does exist a being that is of higher caliber than I me from some other universe.
‘Perhaps even a more powerful version of me from an alternate universe, although that is only me thinking out loud. And no, she is not making me do anything. We are friends me and her and we would never do anything to harm each other, but only to help each other. Besides, we most of the time keep our distances in order to play our parts correctly for what job we are meant to do. She does her job correctly despite her limitations, and I do mine. And as long as both uphold our duties, we shall keep a perfect balance in this world, this universe. She is simply god more specifically god of the ponies but pretty much can potentially become god of everything if she so chooses, which she doesn’t but I can respect that decision.
‘And as for me, I control everything else, mostly the non-living things such as the planets, the stars, the black holes, space and everything in it; all the while keeping reality in check but being able to bend it to my will if I so please. But of course, I can’t mess reality too much or else everything will simply become chaos and that would be good would it? I wouldn’t be playing my part and that would be rude. Is any of this getting through to you yet Chronos?”
Chronos then started to become a little angry as the signs started to show of frustration on its face.
Chronos said to the Universe has a growl started to arise from his vocal chords, “Yeah, it is! And what it’s telling me is that you’re telling me the same shit that you told me yesterday damn it! Why do you keep fucking do that?!”
The Universe then said with a strong tone within his voice, “Because... Chronos… I try to make you understand how everything works but yet you are stubborn in your ways to never change. You haven’t change since the day that I made you while your brothers and sisters have matured and advanced and learned to help me maintain order in this universe. But yet you are the only one that doesn’t help me, for you are the arrogant one in this ‘family’ of ours. That is why I keep telling you the same shit everyday because until the day you start to learn and act up on it, I will try to knock some sense into you.”
Chronos was then silent and the Universe just stared into his cold, dark eyes.
The silence continued on for a few minutes more until the Universe gave a small and soft sigh and then said to Chronos, “We’ll continue this later Chronos. For now, I must get back to Knight and try to see if I can’t find a way to bring him back to his home and…”
Chronos then cut off the Universe by simply saying to the Universe, “Fuck you.”
The Universe just stood there in complete silence, thinking through his mind and wondering if Chronos had really said those words to him.
The Universe then asked Chronos, “What did you just say to me?”
as it squinted its eyes just slightly. Chronos then said with a more aggressive tone within its voice, “I said… FUCK YOU!”
The Universe continued to stand there and idle by as the two remained at a separate distance from one another. Within the own mind of the Universe, he was thinking and asking why Chronos would say such thing a thing to him considering the Universe gave life to Chronos in the first place, and with such a thought in mind he believed and expected respect out of Chronos and to obey all commands given to Chronos at all times or else Chronos would suffer the consequences.
However, the Universe was born with feelings when he first came alive, so the Universe knew the feeling of having love for what he has created. The Universe had a soft spot for Chronos and he had hoped that Chronos would see it through that Chronos would just respect the Universe for all the things he had done for Chronos. But instead, Chronos just stood there and metaphorically slapped the Universe in the face, and the Universe did not take kindly towards Chronos’s actions.
The Universe simply replied to Chronos, “I see… I see that you have not changed since your birth. No matter what I try, you seem stuck in your ways. I should have expected as much considering you’re a worthless buffoon.”
Chronos heard those words spoken from the Universe’s non-existent mouth and Chronos could only become angrier from that point forward. Chronos started to build up so much anger within him that the anger and rage could not be held back any more, and so Chronos soon started to stare towards the Universe with his fist raised, ready to do battle. Chronos charged right at the Universe, thinking that it would hit straight into the Universe’s face and hopefully leave a mark.
However, luck was not on Chronos’s side as the Universe just simply stepped to the side quickly right when Chronos was near at the last second and Chronos just simply ran past the Universe and looked like a fool doing so. Once Chronos realized what had happened, he slowed down and came to a complete stop and stood where he had stopped and looked directly back at the Universe to see if he had anything to say to him.
The Universe just looked at Chronos and said to him, “I see that you your feelings have gotten the best of you. Well if you so wish to fight, then so be it…just be prepared to fail at your poor excuse for a fight.”
Chronos, who had simply gotten only angrier, said to the universe with all his might, “I’LL BE THE ONE THAT KICKS YOUR FUCKING ASS… YOU HEAR ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!”
The Universe was then getting ready into a fighting position with his arms, “Clearly you are very uneducated as well… I don’t even have a mother to begin with.”
After the Universe had said those words, Chronos then immediately started to charge right after to the Universe, ready to give a second attempt to land a punch at least one on the Universe. And as Chronos was running towards the Universe, the Universe himself was simply standing, and even started to relax his arms a little while only leaving his right arm up.
And as soon as Chronos was within distance, the Universe swiftly got his arms ready, and punched Chronos square in the face, leaving a bruise on his face. As soon as Chronos was hit, Chronos had felt the pain that was delivered before him, but it did not slow him down, but only encouraged to keep going, so it did the only thing it could think of at the time and Chronos simply kick the left leg of the Universe.
In response, the Universe did not expect this from Chronos so it came as a surprise when the Universe was hit by a leg from Chronos and ended up falling over as Chronos’s leg swept the floor near the Universe’s left leg. However, the Universe caught itself just in the nick of time and almost hit the floor hard, but it only meant that it gave Chronos an opening to get another hit in.
Chronos had a little smirk form on his face and went to give another kick, this time over the Universe’s head, but the Universe was too strong to let himself be beaten by Chronos, and he had sensed what Chronos was going to do as the Universe grabbed hold of Chronos foot as soon as he came close to his head.
When the moment came that the Universe grabbed a hold of Chronos, Chronos was taken back a bit by the surprise, but didn’t have much time to contemplate what was going on because as soon as the Universe grabbed his foot, the Universe swung Chronos’s entire body at a one hundred degree angle and slammed him straight hard into the ground. Soon the Universe got back up and started to crack its knuckles as the cracking sounds filled the air.
Soon Chronos also got up as well and as the Universe saw this with its own eyes, the Universe said to Chronos, “I see that you don’t give up. I can at least admire that… but you are a fool to think that you have the techniques and skills to even fight me for a minute.”
Chronos simply tried to forget about the pain that was given to him by the Universe and Chronos said to the Universe, “SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW! I’M GOING TO…”
Soon Chronos was cut off by one of his brothers, Nomis. Nomis simply came walking out from the darkness that surrounded them as if Nomis had appeared from thin air, but really Nomis had appeared from another realm of existence within the universe itself.
Nomis looked somewhat similar to Chronos, with some slight differences. Nomis was made by the Universe to be the one to control the element of water throughout the universe, but Nomis was made out of entirely blue ice crystals. Nomis’s eyes were also the color of a pure blue as well as to what appeared to be like claws coming from Nomis’s fists.
Nomis had stepped out from the darkness and cut off Chronos and said, “To do what brother?”
Chronos was then taken a back a bit as well at the sight of seeing one of his siblings in front him.
Chronos then asked Nomis, “What are you doing here?”
Nomis then simply replied with, “I was concentrating on putting water on another planet somewhere since another planet was destroyed three hundred years ago. There was an imperfect balance that I had to attend to fixing. When I got the sort of feeling that you were acting up again.” Chronos then yelled at his brother Nomis, “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! IT’S EBTWEEN ME AND THE UNIVERSE!”
Nomis then said to Chronos, “Calm down brother, surely we can figure this out. We are one of the first living things in this entire universe, even in this world. We have lived for billions of years with billions more to come in the future. We have experienced many things to make us grow more wise as time as gone on. Surely we can come to agreement peacefully and end this argument and feud that you have to the one that created us.”
Chronos then remained silent for a bit until it had something pondering around in his mind.
Chronos then asked the question to Nomis, “WHERE ARE THE OTHERS!? WHERE ARE THEY HIDING!? I KNOW THIS IS SOME KIND OF TRICK! I LET ME GUARD DOWN AND THEN YOU’LL PIN ME FROM BEHIND! I JUST KNOW IT!”
Nomis then said calmly towards Chronos, “Calm your nerves Chronos. This is no trick. We have never tricked you. Well… at least I have never. Besides, our other brother is controlling the element of Earth and rock in another realm while our sister is trying to maintain the air quality of another planet.”
Chronos then asked Nomis, “And our other sister?”
Nomis then said to Chronos, “She is unfortunately stuck in a place somewhere between time and space itself. She has not gotten over her rage when you had beat her in that fight two hundred years ago. Although I am sure when she comes back or finds her way back that is, she will have come to her senses and will join us to help man the balance of the Universe, just as the one who created us intended. Isn’t that right… Universe?”
The Universe then said, “Yes, that is right. Besides, I am or at least was very busy at the moment with other work that acquired my attention, but yet I was so rudely pulled away from it by Chronos here. May I ask for your assistance Nomis, to help remind Chronos of his place here?”
Nomis then replied, “While we can remind him of it, we should consider his views and values as well.”
The Universe just looked and stared at Nomis and said to him, “You were always the nice one Nomis. I can respect that and…”
The Universe then was cut off and interrupted as Chronos then landed a hard punch across the Universe’s face.
After which, the Universe fell on the ground and was downed for a few seconds to which Chronos then said, “I’LL TAKE BOTH OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS ON!!! EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING THAT I FUCKING DO!!!”
Nomis then said quietly to himself, “Oh brother…how sad it is to see you without intelligence like the rest of us”
And so Nomis started charging towards Chronos and attempted to tackle him. But Chronos was one step ahead and could see it coming from a mile away. So Chronos then made his next move by jumping over Nomis at the last second when he was right there and made a complete back flip and landed on his feet perfectly.
‘This was not odd since Chronos had physically fought his brothers and sisters before and his skills had only slowly gotten better over the millions of years of doing so. Once Nomis caught himself though, he stopped in mid tracks and made a quick one hundred eighty degree turn to face Chronos. Once Nomis was able to get a look at where Chronos and where he had landed, Chronos had just landed on the ground and quickly got into a fighting position to continue fighting.
Chronos then said to Nomis, “So you want to fight me again huh? Well… just so you know… I’ve been practicing since the last time… and this time I will fucking kick your ass.”
Nomis then said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you brother, but if I am correct, I have still 55.69 million years worth of training over on more than year’s worth of training, especially since our dear creator taught me and our other siblings as well. If I remember correctly, you were the one that decided to not join us in training all those millions years of ago and just simply went on your own. Still, it is impressive that you’ve gotten this far, but I’m afraid to say you are still quite weak. If you were to calm down and listen to reason, we would gladly help you to improve your skills in fighting instead of committing these reckless acts that you call fighting.”
Chronos then proceeded to say while becoming a little bit irritated by Nomis’s message towards him, “Oh I’m so going to kick your fucking ass now.”
Then out from what seemed like nowhere to Chronos, the Universe then said as loud as he could, “Not if I have anything to say about it.”
Once Chronos had heard the Universe speak, he was surprised and had wide eyes, and soon before he knew it, he was being lifted from the ground as if he only weighed as much as a feather. And then he was forced to turn ninety degree from his original position and then he saw the Universe hovering in mid air with his arms crossed with non-pleased, judgmental eyes of the Universe staring back at him.
The Universe then said to Chronos, “And please… watch your language.”
And then the Universe with only a hand motion threw Chronos up in the air and had expected him to fall flat on his face, and to hopefully as well teach him a lesson. However, the Universe’s expectations were a little too high as soon as Chronos was thrown into the air, he got himself together as quickly as he could and positioned one of his fists towards the ground and let gravity push him forward towards the ground.
Once he did, Chronos fell at a fast speed like a bullet, but somehow landed in a kneeling potion on one of his knees and landed perfectly fine and undamaged. And once he landed on the ground beneath him, it made no sound, but once the Universe and Nomis saw Chronos land like that, they were a bit taken back by it and only proceeded to look at each other. They looked into each other eyes and without having to say a word to each other, they both knew this would not be an easy fight to finish.
So they both quickly gave a slight nod to each other and in unison ran towards Chronos to try and out power him, however Chronos saw them coming and proceeded to be ready to fight them both at the same time. And so as the Universe and Nomis were ready to throw some punches towards Chronos, Chronos on the other hand was ready to go on the offensive and show no mercy. And so once the Universe and Nomis was ready to throw some punches as they both got near Chronos, Chronos was able to get in the punches first as he started to wail on the both of them in quick succession, alternating back and forth between both of them.
He would constantly gives a blow towards the Universe and Nomis’s faces at a constant rate and even at random times put his fists high in the hair and proceed to pound his fists straight towards the ground and hit them on the top of their heads. As for the Universe and Nomis, they were taking a hit from Chronos constantly as they couldn’t get a hold of themselves, nor have enough to re-adjust themselves in order to throw their punches in.
They would not be too harmed that is that they would give up; they were tough as nails when it came to getting hard. However, it was still an inconvenience that they couldn’t get a single hit in on Chronos and Chronos just continued to wail on the both of them. However, the Universe was prepared for a moment like this, and since it was in the domain that is called home, the Universe had more power than he would have outside of it.
So the Universe, right after being punched in the face by a stern fist from Chronos, quickly covered in just a millisecond and right after Chronos had punched his fists into Nomis’s head and was about to punch the Universe once more, the Universe caught Chronos’ fists in the mid movement with its hand and then immediately used its free hand to deliver a massive uppercut that sent Chronos high up into the air.
However, the Universe tended to learn from his mistakes, so it then used his powers to pull Chronos immediately straight down to the ground as if he had a rope tied around Chronos and could control his every movement if he so pleased to do so. And once Chronos fell down on the ground hard, Nomis the immediately ran towards Chronos’ body that was still in a horizontal state on the ground and gave a powerful kick that sent Chronos sliding across the floor while giving him a pain on the sides of his torso. But Chronos, once after sliding across the floor, then quickly got back up and then saw that he had some distance away from both of his opponents.
He then said out loud to the both of them, “IS THAT THE BEST YOU FAGGOTS GOT! BECAUSE IF IT IS, THEN YOU UNDERESTIMATE WHAT I CAN TAKE?! I’M NOT WHAT I USED TO BE, A FUCKING WEAKLING! I’M STRONGER NOW!”
The Universe then said in response, “I highly doubt that Chronos! Even after all these years, you are still merely but a child that has lost its way and only needs guidance and a long time out!”
Chronos then said to the Universe, “SO YOU DOUBT ME HUH?! WE’LL HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU THEN!!!”
And then in an instant, a flash of light appeared before the Universe and Nomis’s eyes. However, it was more than just a flash of light, and instead, a beam of white light that was emitting from Chronos’s body.
And soon Chronos then emerged from the beam of white light that was as bright as the sun and as soon as Chronos left it, it vanished, but parts of it was still sticking on his body. To most, this would seem nothing special, but to Chronos, Nomis, and the Universe, it only meant that Chronos had gotten stronger by using more energy. And as Chronos was getting ready for battle, he also had a little smirk appear on his face and was ready and more prepared than how he was before. The Universe saw this and was only determined to put Chronos back in his place.
The Universe then said softly to himself, “So that’s how you want to play it then I see? Well… then so be it.”
And then the Universe started to float in the air and rise a few feet from the ground and started to gather more energy from within to fight Chronos.
Nomis saw this and had a concerned look grow on his face as the seconds passed and looked towards the Universe and asked it, “Are you sure this is such a good idea? Can we not try other tactics to bring him down and calm his nerves?”
The Universe simply looked down and said to Nomis, “Do not worry Nomis. I’m only playing Chronos’s little game. To be honest… it’s cute. I almost feel sad for him, especially with what I’m going to do him after we’re finished.”
And then the Universe closed his eyes and dug deep down from within and soon a quick flash of blue light appeared, but was then gone within the very same second. And soon the Universe opened its eyes and Chronos then saw that the Universe did what he did not too long ago.
However, the light that was emitting off of the Universe was some blue flames. However, it only made Chronos hungry for more rage to build up and to take it all out on the Universe. So chromos then cracked his neck and then started to run towards the Universe. And as soon as the Universe saw this, he started to quickly fly towards him as well, and was ready to strike with his right fist. And once both were well within range of each other, Chronos had jumped in mid air, in hoping getting a hit on the Universe. All the while, the Universe pointed his fist towards the ground where Chronos was and it to hope that it would end Chronos’s childish rage.
However, both were disappointed, as they only evenly matched each other’s tactics as their fist touched each other’s fist, leaving them at a standstill as well very disappointed they only matched each other’s attack towards each other. However, the Universe expected this, and he knew how slow Chronos still was, so he quickly put himself into an upright position and used his right leg and kick chromos straight in the head and sent him flying across the floor to the west of the Universe.
This obviously meant that Chronos had taken a really hard hit from the Universe and he was starting to show as once Chronos had hit the floor hard, he didn’t get up right away. Chronos instead had a bit of trouble getting up from the ground, but once he did, the Universe and Nomis could see that the kick that the Universe gave Chronos left a very big, noticeable mark on his left side of his face and almost looked like he was bleeding as well.
They also noticed how he was not in the position that said without saying a word that he was ready to continue on fighting them both. However, Chronos took a few quick seconds and then got himself back together, rather in a poor way that is, and was ready to continue on fighting.
The Universe, who was seeing this as it was landing gently on the ground with his arms crossed again across his chest, said to Chronos, “Give it up Chronos. Clearly I have bested you without a single struggle from me. Just give up now and I promise your punishment won’t be too severe.” Chronos, as he was slowly putting his fists up, but was having a hard time due to exhaustion, said back to the Universe, “Fuck… you.. I’ll… never give up… you hear me… NEVER!!!”
The Universe didn’t say anything else in response, but only gave a small sigh from under his breath as if he was annoyed by Chronos’s antics.
And soon the Universe looked down towards Nomis and said to him, “Nomis, I have weaken him and I’m sure he only has a few punches left in him before he gives up, and that is only assuming he isn’t ready to keel over. Would you like to do the honors of cleaning up this mess for me?”
Nomis then looked up towards the Universe and said to him, “If it means ending this childish fight, then the answer would be yes, yes I would love to do the honors.”
And then Nomis stepped forward, as in a way to say that he would like to fight Chronos all by himself.
Nomis then said as Chronos was seeing all of this play out, “Please, Chronos, for your own sake, please end this childish charade now. Wouldn’t you like for this all to be over with and continue with your life that you have been blessed with by our creator?”
Chronos then said, “FUCK YOU! I’LL FUCKING FIGHT YOU TILL MY LAST BREATH IF I HAVE TO!”
Nomis then proceeded to put both of his fists up and saw is claws and then showed them retract into his own body and only showed his icy, cold fists and said to Chronos as the claws were being put away, “Fine then brother. If this is what you wish to do. But I will not fight you with my claws as I know it will give you more pain then what you deserve. The claws might even kill you and it would be a disgraceful act of me if I would do such a thing, even by on accident. So I shall only fight you with only my fists. I won’t even dig deep within and gather more energy. I will only fight you with what is presented in front of you.”
Chronos heard what Nomis had to say and he couldn’t help but have a big grin form across his face and said to himself quietly, “Ha… big mistake! Not getting more energy is an even bigger mistake. I will surely have you beat and have you on the floor, graveling and asking for mercy from me.”
And then both proceeded to get themselves into a fighting stance and both of their fists up. And soon there was only silence with no sound or word being spoke as both stared at each other deeply, waiting to see if the other one would try and make a move first. They both anticipated for each other to make a move first, but nothing happened, but only silence and concentration.
However, Chronos was starting to get bored of silence and so he made the first move and he started to charge toward Nomis with all his strength. And as he was running towards Nomis, he was yelling as loud as he could, to let the rage out as much as he could and as Chronos was about to throw the first punch, Nomis striked first by simply punching him in the stomach area.
But this did not stop Chronos, as it was merely a minor wound to him, so he then returned and attempted at another punch. But this too didn’t hit Nomis either as Nomis simply dodged Chronos attacked, which was going for Nomis’ face. Instead, Nomis had given a swift, but damaging punch to Chronos’s face, and leaving a noticeable mark as Chronos stumbled a bit.
But Chronos was not done as it was only the beginning to him, and Chronos found his balance and got back into a fighting position and strictly looked back at Nomis. Nomis was still in a fighting position and Chronos just stared back at him, squinting his eyes and making sure to aim for the head this time.
And so right before Chronos went in for third attempt, Chronos then said as loud as he could, “ENOUGH OF THIS KIDDIE SHIT! IT’S TIME TO CRANK UP THE HEAT! IT’S TIME TO GET TO THE REAL FIGHT!”
And so Chronos stood in his place as to where he was standing and dug even more deeper than before and soon the flames that were yellow turned into range, symbolizing that Chronos had reached a second level of energy that he had dug deep within himself.
For Nomis, he simply stared back and he then said to Chronos, “Oh Brother. Only if you had trained with us when our creator had helped us to achieve strength from within us.”
And soon Nomis dug deep within himself as well and soon the flames started to come up just like Chronos. The flames started with yellow and then quickly changed to Orange, and then finally stopping at Red. Nomis then calmly looked back at Chronos, whose eyes were staring back in shock that Nomis gathered more energy and appeared to be stronger than him.
Nomis then said to Chronos, “And I have achieved a higher level than this.”
However Chronos only gave a slight grunt sound and within his own mind was still determined to take down his brother with all of his strength, even if it killed him in the end.
Chronos then said out loud, “I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU OR YOUR LEVEL THREE ENERGY! I WILL FIGHT YOU TILL MY LAST BRREATH, YOU HEAR!?”
And then Chronos, as he was yelling, went and charged directly towards Nomis. Nomis wasn’t expecting for Chronos to be charging right away and expected a fair fight, but instead Nomis was greeted with a punch to the face by his brother Chronos, which was surprising to Nomis as he actually started to hurt.
Nomis fell towards the dark ground beneath him and fell on his back, but he simply got up slowly and he said to Chronos in a calm tone, “I see you’ve been training at least. I’m proud of you.”
Chronos, with a smirk on his face, simply replied with, “You bet your fucking ass I have. NOW LET’S DO THIS!!”
And Chronos went ahead and started charging again towards Nomis as the Universe stood by the sideline and watched the fight. When Chronos charged towards his brother, Nomis knew he wasn’t going to be fast enough to strike Chronos down fast enough, so he simply crossed his arms and tried to deflect the incoming attacks from Chronos until he saw an opening to strike him down.
However, to Nomis’s dismay, Chronos kept throwing constant punching from both his fists, as his fists started to burn a bright orange with every punched he threw towards Nomis. However, Nomis only felt a minor pain with Chronos hitting his arms, as he kept stepping back to try and end the fight. But Chronos knew what his brother was doing and so he then proceeded to strike Nomis in the abdomen area of Nomis’s body, which also put Nomis off guard and let his arms down and so Chronos went in for the kill by continuing his constant punches towards Nomis’s face brutally.
As this went on for a few seconds, Nomis knew he had to do something quick, so Nomis then went ahead and quickly ducked, that then threw Chronos off guard and Nomis then went swept his leg around him and made Chronos trip off the ground and on to the hard, dark floor.
Nomis then quickly got near Chronos’s face and gave three hard punches before he took Chronos’s body in complete force from the ground and carried his entire weight on his back. Nomis then proceeded to jump as high as he could and throw Chronos’s body straight to the ground as hard as he could.
And once Chronos was thrown and fell to the hard ground, Chronos could feel every pain that he received. But he was not ready to give up just yet, as he only made an angry face that Nomis had seemed to notice. Once Nomis had got back to the ground, Chronos got back up; although Nomis could tell he was starting to get really beaten up and become tired and was also in need of aid as well to heal his wounds.
However Chronos had a smile remain on his face as he then said to Nomis, “Well, let’s see how you do with MY FLAME FURY!”
Chronos then immediately, without warning, put both hands together and a bright, orange fire came from his hands and flew across towards Nomis at amazing speeds. However, Nomis was able to roll out of the way at the last second and doge the ball of fire that came towards him. Nomis then looked back towards Chronos, determined to end this fight as soon as possible, but Chronos was not ready to end it at all, as to Nomis’s surprise, Chronos then shot a stream of orange fire towards him, almost as if Chronos had a flamethrower on his back.
But Nomis was quick to react as he too started a stream of red fire, to which the two colored fires met somewhere in the middle and at that point, it was a duel to see who had the most strength to send the other fire towards them. Both Chronos and Nomis pushed their energy to its edge to try and weaken one another’s attacks, but it only ended up causing the two fires to make a big ball of fire that grew ever so rapidly as to both continually fed energy into it.
The ball of fire was mixed between the colors of orange and red, and soon it grew out of control and exploded, resulting in both Chronos and Nomis being pushed back further from each other. However, Nomis gained control of his footing and knew that he couldn’t waste any more energy then he already had on Chronos and then started running towards Chronos.
Sadly for Chronos however, he was starting to feel the fatigue of using too much energy and he had not simply trained hard enough to dig deep within his soul to gather more. So for Chronos, he simply tried to keep standing up, but wobbled back and forth, almost falling down. However, he kept pushing himself to stand up and get back into a fighting position, but Nomis could see how weakened he was.
And so once Nomis got to Chronos, he slowed down and came to a complete stop. He then offered his hand gently towards Chronos, wanting to see if would take his hand for help. But Chronos was only irritated by this gesture and he only proceeded to push it away.
Nomis was disappointed by this decision and he then looked straight into his brother’s eyes and asked him, “Are you really going to keep on fighting like this brother? You are clearly weak and must seek medical attention of some kind. Your wounds need to heal or else you might perish forever.”
Chronos then said as best he could in between his heavy breathing, “I don’t give a fucking damn… you hear me Nomis? I won’t stand to be treated like the way I have been by the Universe anymore. I won’t be treated like a dumb fucking, backwards ass kid by you or the others. I’m standing up for myself for once, and I’ll fucking die doing it. SO COME ON MOTHER FUCKER! BRING IT ON!!!”
Nomis then said as he hung his head down low in disappointment by his brother’s words, “I see. May I ask you brother? Did our creator ever teach you how to levitate off the ground yet?”
Chronos then said back to Nomis, “No, he hasn’t. He said I wasn’t ready. But I’ve been training myself and I almost got it. Why? You can’t do it either?”
Chronos had given a big, glaring smirk towards Nomis when he said those last words.
Nomis then calmly replied back with, “No, I’ve already learned how to levitate and to high levels. Here, let me show you.”
And Nomis quickly and brutally gave a strong, super upper-cut and sent flying Chronos high into the air, in which Chronos was not prepared for this incoming attack. Chronos was sailing high into the air, going nowhere but up, as Nomis followed after him and quickly levitated off the ground and followed right behind Chronos.
Nomis quickly caught up to Chronos’s and was meeting him at eye levels. However, Chronos was instead was somewhat unconscious as his head was only pointed upwards the sky. Nomis decided to fix this then by charging and focusing all his energy in his right fist and as soon as he was ready, he gave a swift, but brutal punch across Chronos’s left side of his face, which sent Chronos flying to the left, but Nomis quickly concentrated and teleported and soon striked Chronos again and this time used his left fist and brutally punched Chronos on the right side of his face and sent him flying to the right.
Nomis then teleported again, this time being much quicker with every punch and teleportation, and he repeated this process several time, juggling Chronos from side to side with strikes as he continued to hurdle him upwards in the air until Nomis knew Chronos had a enough and grabbed Chronos in mid air and simply floated high in the air without making a single mistake. Chronos was weak by this point, with his muscles giving out and his mind wanting to let go and go into a deep, unconscious state.
However, Chronos was still clinging on to as much energy as he could to continue to fight, but Nomis on the other hand knew this and didn’t need to ask Chronos about it either.
So Nomis grabbed Chronos with both of his hands and put him on top of his head, in which Chronos was very confused as to what was happening to him. Nomis then dug deep within himself and soon he was at level three energy as the flames quickly changed from yellow to orange to red. However what Chronos was not counting on was that the flames soon started to engulf Chronos and Chronos was starting to feel the burn as the flames covered him from head to toe.
Chronos then started screaming as loud as he could as he could feel the burning sensation on his skin and flesh, as the red fire continued to engulf him even more into the flames that came from the energy of Nomis. So after Nomis set his brother on fire, Nomis then threw Chronos quickly, straight to the ground as Chronos continued to be engulfed by the red flames and hurdling at fast speeds toward the ground almost like a fireball in a night sky.
And soon Chronos came crashing down with hitting the ground hard. The ground didn’t have a dent in it as the place was in another place of existence, but Chronos could still feel the pain of hitting the hard floor so hard it almost broke him. As for the Universe, he simply watched the fight in front of him, as Nomis slowly and softly landed on the ground next to the Universe.
They then started to watch and see if Chronos would get up and try to continue to resist them. But sadly their expectations were not met as Chronos slowly, but surely still got up from the ground and tried to continue fighting. However, the Universe and Nomis could tell Chronos was not in any condition to continue on fighting as he was simply was but a mess. He looked weak as he could barely stand and it looked like he could barely see straight.
But Chronos was still determined to fight as he said to the both of them, “IS THAT ALL… YOU’VE GOT!? I… I CAN TAKE MORE OF A HIT THAN THAT! JUST COME OVER HERE AND I’LL SHOW YOU… OR ARE YOU GUYS A SCOOTALOO!?”
Nomis and the Universe looked each other in the eye and Nomis spoke and said, “I’ll go and…”
The Universe soon interrupted Nomis, cut him off mid-sentence and said, “I’ll handle this.”
And then the Universe went ahead and slowly walked over to Chronos, who was anticipating more action to come his way. Chronos even started to have a growing smile on his face as the Universe came walking over towards his direction.
Once the Universe made it to Chronos’s position, Chronos then said to the Universe with an attitude, “So, you had enough yet?”
The Universe simply stared back at Chronos in silence, giving him a stern look with his eyes.
Chronos then said, “Suit yourself then…”
After Chronos had spoke, he quickly attempted to strike the Universe with a punch, but unfortunate to Chronos’s dismay, he was too weak to throw a decent punch and was too slow as well that the Universe quickly grabbed Chronos’s fist and started to crush it under the pressure of his hand.
In response, Chronos screamed as loud as he could as the pain started to swell through his body, but the Universe didn’t stop there either. The Universe then kicked one of Chronos’s legs that then made Chronos get on to one knee, which hurt and gave even more pain to Chronos as bone cracking sounds could be heard from what seemed like miles away.
And as for one final blow, the Universe made a fist with one of his hands and raised it to eye level for Chronos to see and pulled it back, charging and concentrating all of his energy into his fist.
And soon the flames appeared around his fist only as Chronos saw; wondering what was going to happen next. The flames around the Universe’s fist turned to the color blue like before and the Universe let go all of the energy that it had built up and striked Chronos in the left side of his face and sent him flying a few feet away from the Universe.
This time, Chronos did not get up and tried to make a witty remark. He instead simply laid on the ground, defeated with no energy to get back up at all. Once the Universe had delivered the final blow, Nomis walked up besides the Universe and said to him, “It could have been so much easier.”
The Universe said in response as he continued to stare at Chronos’s beat up body, “Yes, it could have been. And it wasted my time too for my work. Go ahead Nomis and deal with him as you wish, so he no longer distracts me from my work. And while you are at it, please teach him some manners; he should at the very least be polite while trying to fight me.”
Nomis then said to the Universe, “Yes creator.”
And Nomis went straight to Chronos’s body and grabbed him by his arms and started dragging him away back to where Nomis was previously at before he had came in and fought Chronos.
As Chronos was being dragged away though, he tried to say the best he could out loud, “No… no… n-no… you can’t do this to me… I-I almost had it. Why won’t any of you listen to me for fucking once?”
And soon Chronos and Nomis was out of his sight.
The Universe then said to himself, “Finally, I can get back to work and…”
And soon the Universe was cut off once more as what seemed like from a long distance, a door had been opened, letting light into the darkness that surrounded the room. The Universe looked over and saw that she was there.
Fausticorn had opened the door and walked into the room as she said to the Universe, “Is everything alright? I heard some noises from here.”
The Universe then gave a slight sigh under his breath and calmly and politely said to her, “No, everything is fine. I was simply having trouble with something, but not to worry, everything is good now.”
Fausticorn had eyes that made her look like she was worried, but she then put those thoughts aside as she knew the Universe had everything under control and she could trust him.
She then had a smile form on her face and was relieved to say to the Universe, “Well, that’s good. I thought for a moment that something had happened. Anyways, I was going to come in here to ask if you could help me with something.”
The Universe then had wide eyes, not because he was shocked, but because he was disappointed that he would not be able to get back to watching over Knight and his troublesome adventures. However, he knew that he could not turn her away for any reason. He was the Universe and she was god. They both played an important role in keeping a balance to everything and so he knew that if there was a problem, he had to help, even if it took hundreds of years to do.
So the Universe then calmly said to Fausticorn, “Alright then, what do you need help with?”
She smiled and knew she had a good friend willing to help her out when she needed it the most. She then said to the Universe, “Well…”
BACK TO KNIGHT
Holy butt munching son of a bitch… it felt like I blacked out for a moment and a random, generic sounding white guy of a narrator came in and wrote for me about something that I didn’t know about.
Huh… that is really strange indeed I must say. Well, just like my suspicions of Morgan Freeman taking over, I guess I can pretend it didn’t happen… until it happens again and I wake up in my own puke from drinking too much and wonder what happened to my life and shit. I should get back on track… on the train tracks… get it? Train of thought?
Well anyways, I was talking by myself and then all of a sudden everything started to get a little bit foggy. It was starting to get that kind of foggy where you’re walking all by yourself and then all of a sudden a redneck rapist comes from out of nowhere and says hi to you. But then you just scream and try to run away but at the end of the day redneck rapists are more faster and agile on foot like Kenyans and he eventually catches up to you and compliments on your appearance and then walks away.
But you just end up pretending it was a traumatizing experience. And then werewolves comes out of nowhere and start raping you while killing you and you for whatever reason you expect British people from the nineteenth century to come out and kill that werewolf, but they don’t because British people sometimes are a disappointment to the human race. Although the county of Mauritania is a mistake.
Yeah, it was that kind of foggy. That or that Silent Hills kind of foggy where you think a lamp monster was going to come out and get you or a poorly written monster from Stephen King would come and get you. That or Stephen King himself; he likes to hide in the fog sometimes because that is his natural habitat after all. He was born from the fog after all. But, as I kept walking though, it got really bothersome, especially since I could barely see five feet in front of my eyes.
I even wondered how the flying fuck trains even passed through here considering they couldn’t see much, but then again, the fuck do I know about trains? It is on a train track after all… and it goes choo choo and shit. That is as much as I know… school back on Earth didn’t teach me much and obviously they failed me. But I’m pretty sure I was a disappointment in their eyes though, and that is something to be proud of.
Just like being proud that you got a participation trophy and you pretend that you achieved something in life, but really you’re just in denial that you are as much of a loser like everyone else, including me, and we’re all going to die from a pointless life. Yeah… it was that kind of proud. Brings a tear to my eye sometimes you know? But as I was walking and trying to make my way through the fog and trying my best to look out for anything suspicious, I started to hear a noise. A clopping noise that is.
At first I thought to myself, ‘Oh fuck, is it what I think it is? Could it be that another Brony has come to this universe… but he’s a clopper and jacks off all the way? Eh… maybe… clop clop clop.’
Yeah… I wasn’t really thinking that right in my head that day. But as I kept walking in the direction that I was, the clopping sound got louder and louder and louder, to the point where I started to wonder if it was just some guy with two halves of a coconut, banging those two coconut halves together like they’re banging each other until they cum to death.
Well anyways, the clopping sounds got closer and closer, and through the foggy mist, it seemed like you could make someone out. As in a shape was starting to form, a very dark shape that was. I started to really squint my eyes to try and see if I couldn’t get a better look, but it turned out that I didn’t have to squint as the shape in the mist started to become clearer and clearer as the oddity came near.
At the time, I was unsure if I was to be frightened or excited that someone else was finally was able to come along and maybe even help me get back to my home in Stalia. Seriously, I mean… come on; it was like about time I got my ass back to my house in Stalia… that was the library. I need to get my ass back to the library. I know it sounds awful, but just for the record, barely anypony came to the library at all. So Wolf had a great place to hide his porn.
And let me tell you, it’s weird when you come across a classical piece of literature and then a picture of a mare’s is taped inside of the book; although it makes reading Edgar Allen Pony a lot more exciting than what it used to be. Now you get to be depressed and jack off at the same time… two things for the price of one, what a deal!? And it gets even better when you hang yourself to get that super orgasm too. You get the kill yourself and cum at the same time! YOU CAN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT!
Well, you can… but you have to hire Rob Schneider to come to your home and beat you silly while in the shower because I’m sure that’s a sex thing somewhere. I’m also sure being in a Piñata is a sex thing too in Mexico… Illegal Mexico that is, Spoooooky.
I know you never want to go down to Illegal Mexico; legend says when the mariachi band starts to play, trouble is afoot. Anyways like I said, I was unsure if I was to be excited or not. I mean it would be exciting if it was someone that could get me to where I needed to be… which was Stalia. But at the same time, the whole fog thing and just seeing an odd shape in the mist, it didn’t feel quite right.
Then again this was the train tracks that I was on we’re talking about here. Unless it was the cat, more than likely it was going to be some sort of fucked up thing that would make no sense whatsoever and only make it seem if I was being stalled for time or something. I mean, I knew the train tracks was a weird place, but this particular train tracks was where all the weird shit took place at. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if all the illegal fetishes took place alongside the train tracks. In which case it probably did and honestly… I don’t really care anymore, because the more I think of it, the more that I suspect that there is a huge orgy happening right this moment as I’m writing this shit down.
And it just might… be an orgy… filled with old people… while wearing furry costumes. Hmmmmm, I wonder if you could film it and still make money off of it back on Earth; probably yeah. Also the fog was weird as well as it felt like I was entering a different other world.
I mean the scenery did sort of changed as I walked more into the fog, but still, it felt weird being in that fog. Anyways, as my feelings were mixed, the clopping sound became pretty clear as the figure of whoever it was walking through the mist was very much near me. So near that I’m pretty sure it would be considered sexual assault in the state of California.
And once the figure got close enough, I started to make it out a little bit and thankfully it wasn’t some kind of monster or anything stupid like that. No, instead it looked like a human being on a horse. At this point, did it matter?
So I squinted my eyes a bit and tried my best to see if I could get a better look at who it was on the horse and shit, but I just instead went with my first reactions and said out loud while I had eager fill my eyes with joy and said out loud as I was waving my right hoof into the air to signal the guy on the horse, “What the… is that a human being, Oh who the fuck cares, I’ll take it! HEY MISTER…OR CHICK OR WHOEVER YOU ARE! I’M OVER HERE! I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M YELLING THROUGH THE FOG, BUT I’M SURE IT’S TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE REAL AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HURT ME OR ANYTHING TO REASSURE ME THAT YOU’RE COMING IN MY DIRECTION! IF THAT MAKES ANYSENSE! IT PROBABLY DOESN’T, BUT… OVER HERE! AND ALSO WHATEVER YOU DO, PLEASE DON’T DO ANYTHIGN WEIRD AND… “
And then I was cut off, not by a noise, not even by someone talking over me. Oh no, I was cut off by myself as I stopped in mid-sentence for what I finally saw that figure to be. It was a human being on a horse.
Yes it was indeed. That I can say without a doubt in my mind that it was. But… it was more than just another human being on a horse. It was something that baffled me on the spot, as I was trying to figure out how and why at the time. It was a samurai on a horse… in a My Little Pony universe.
Just saying that… writing that… is not that odd at all. I mean it sounds cool, kind of amazing and awesome to think about it, but at the same time a bit out of the ordinary, don’t you think? Then again a Technicolor talking pony saying the word fuck a thousand times would also be considered out of the ordinary.
Well not to me because I’m used to it, but I’m sure you all that are not on the payroll of the almighty sheckles would find it out of the ordinary and shit. But with that being said and all, it was still a bit astounding to see that. And it was somewhat a bit surreal because from my position as to where I was standing, the samurai towered over me. Not by much, but he was certainly tall though, especially on his horse.
Also the horse had a shiny, silver, metallic armor on though, on its hand and on its side as well so it looked kind of medieval like as well, as well as a nice, clean, pretty much expensive looking saddle that the samurai himself was sitting on. As for the samurai himself, I didn’t get to see an Asian at all that day. Instead, it was a Samurai in full armor, yes even with the mask on. In which case the mask was wearing a typical, generic face mask. Well, it wasn’t generic. It was more or less a traditional samurai mask.
You know, the kind that they wore way back in the day of old in Asian land. More specific, the Asian land where their eyes are slanted. You know the one that makes all the rice. The one that speaks a funny sounding language. You know, the one Asian country that has weird pictures if their characters of their language whenever it is written.
You know the Asian land I’m talking about. The one with yellow people in it. Hawaii I think it was. Yes…it is Hawaii… let’s leave it like that. Well anyways, this samurai had that weird looking face mask that looked like it was centuries old, and it looked like it was all worn out and everything, but yet still sturdy and wearable. As in it still holds up and could still be worn by anyone and it would protect their face or at the very least cover their face without smelling like ass. Because if you ever have worn a mask that’s a few years old…it smells like someone’s ass has been in it and you can barely breathe.
But this samurai mask in particular looked like it would not have that kind of problem. Instead the only problem it would have is scaring kids. And that’s the problem, it looked like it wasn’t scary enough. You need to make those masks more terrifying than Abe Vigoda’s nose hairs god damn it. That way, when the kids are sleeping at night, they will always have that image… that fucking mask in their damn nightmares, staring at them like Freddy Kruger, waiting to kill them in their sleep and rape their corpses.
Yes, that Samurai mask needed to be that scary. Instead what was on the mask was two black holes for eyes and a frowning mouth that looked like oblongata black hole, as well as marks near the tops of the eyes to make it look like it was angry and pissed at the world so it goes out to his old gun cabinet, go to an elementary school… and give every kid a gun. Those kids need to protect themselves in the harsh cruel world you know.
Who knows what dangers kindergarteners might have to face. The teachers could be pedophiles for all they know. I mean… why would they be teaching kindergarteners in the first place eh? Yeah… made you think… so listen up kids: know how to use a gun because the next time you see a dirty white van that offers free candy, you got to protect that dirty white van that offers free candy because a pedo or a school shooter might try to take that away from you.
Anyway, the samurai was also in a traditional samurai get up as well. You know, with the whole Japanese style of armor and such with engravings like a weird fucking dragon that looks like it’s high on cocaine. In fact I’m pretty sure that’s what it symbolizes and might even tell a little story with the engravings on the armor and such.
Here, I got it, there was once a lonely dragon that lived up high on the mountain tops of the land that is known as Ja-pen. It was so lonely that it tried to hang itself, but there was no rope big enough for its neck and it would jut slither out of the noose like a snake because Asian dragons are weird. So instead of trying to kill itself, the dragon just went ahead and watched reruns of Sex in the City because it had no life.
The dragon’s only other option was to play The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword on the Wii, but the dragon knew he was being tortured enough with the void of loneliness that he was cursed with because he knew he was retarded. He was retarded because he bought a Wii. In fact, you know you’re retarded because you bought a Wii and wii all know it.
And so the dragon was bored until his cousin from the mystical place called Detroit came knocking on its door. So the dragon opened the door and then its cousin asked the dragon if he wanted to buy some of his magical white powder, or also known as crack cocaine.
The dragon was curious about this substance, so it bought the magical white powder also known as crack cocaine, seriously the name, and it snorted it for seven days straight. The dragon was so high off its ass it was starting to see some scary things.
So scary that it even started to see the ghost of Stan Lee in his underwear as the ghost of Stan Lee just stared at him while rubbing peanut butter over his nipples. And so the dragon was scared off and flew high into the sky, escaping the ghost of Stan Lee. But since the dragon was still high off its ass and had no home to go to, he thought he would find a new home instead.
And so the dragon flew for several days while still snorting that sweet magical white powder also known as crack cocaine off of its tail every now and then. One day, he came across a village filled with happy Asians. He thought it would be nice to greet these happy Asians as the dragon had been lonely for so long… did I mention how lonely it was yet? So the Dragon approached the happy Asians, but once the happy Asians laid their eyes upon the high off its ass dragon, they were no longer happy Asians, but instead scared Asians as they ran away as the dragon tried to give a hug to all the happy Asians.
Through the dragon’s eyes, since it was high off its ass.. .like really high… like cloud 9 high…it saw the happy Asians as loving and caring towards him and he was singing them all a lovely song. But instead the reality was that the dragon was breathing fire and burning all of the happy scared Asians alive and they were all running in fear, trying to save their children and loved ones from being eaten or being burned alive by the dragon that was high off its ass… hole… and no one could save them.
They all died as the dragon thought he was being friends with them. And all the women and children died being burned alive to a burnt crisp as some new born babies cried out for their mothers but instead got no answer at all, but instead just the sound of inevitable death singing them a lullaby. But then, a mean ol’ samurai saw this destruction from afar and was angered by the dragon’s actions.
And as soon as the samurai came over there to where the dragon was and the once was village filled with happy Asians that were eating and making rice, he was angered even more by the sight he saw. All the rice fields were destroyed and everyone knows the moral of if the Asians don’t get their rice, they’re will seek vengeance for their loss.
And so, the samurai walked up to the dragon and pulled out its sword and pointed it at towards the dragon and said to the dragon and in an angry voice, “You-uh FUCKING DRAGOON!!! HOW-UH DARE YOUUUUUUU! YOU WILL-A-PAY FOR YOUR ACTIONS ONCE AND FOR-A-ALL! NO LOGNER WILL YOU TERROIAIZE OUR RICE –UH-PADDY FIELDS! PREPARE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!”
And so the samurai faced off with the dragon head to head and with all his might, he fought the dragon bravely and without fear or a flinch and with all the souls in his heart that perished due to the dragon that was high off its ass, he beheaded the dragon and won and claimed vengeance for all the lost the rice paddy fields that were burned by the dragon. The end.
And I’m sure that’s how the engravings go… that or I’m just guessing and pulling it out of my ass right now. Either way, it makes sense and shit. I mean, it is a classical folklore from Japan after all, I’m sure all the Japanese people tell it to their children right before bed… because it is such a sweet bed time story to tell to kids.
It’s also nice to tell kids the story of the Catcher and the Rey right before bed too, got to pray the gay away some how you know? Well anyways, other than that, the Samurai just had a sort of a scary looking mask on. The weird part though was that he was riding a horse. I know had said this part already, but I want to emphasize how weird looking it was to me, as well as go into detail about because I can do that, it’s my journal.
It was like a human horse from back on Earth.
Not a pony or anything like that, just a regular horse that I was familiar with, yet haven’t seen one in like thousands of years. And so as the horse came closer and closer, I got to see the finer details as well that could only be seen upon closer inspection.
I could see the fur on the horse with its short, but yet a detailed look throughout the entire body. Its coat was entirely the color brown. Not a dark brown or a light brown, just a regular brown like a black guy. In other words chocolate flavored. And the eyes, the eyes were a bit weird to see. Since living in the universe of My Little Pony for so long, I’ve gotten used to seeing the big eyes on the ponies that you would see on the show and started to see it as normal. But then again, who knows, maybe that’s how the ponies became somewhat the dominant species and was able to survive… that or it was because of magic, who the fuck knows anymore. Anyways, the eyes, they were small.
Small, beady little eyes that were black, like what you would see on a normal horse. And I’ve got to say, it was kind of weird seeing that after living here for the longest time, I had started to forget some of the things that I had gotten used to back on earth.
Technology, human beings, going to zoos and seeing monkeys fleeing their feces at one another, going to the hood and seeing monkeys fleeing their fees at one another… because the monkeys got loose from the zoo and it took them several times days to get all the monkeys back into the zoos so while that was happening, black people were shooting at the monkeys because it was the hood; why wouldn’t the monkeys be shot at? I mean anything gets shot at if it’s in the hood, it’s free game.
There were also cars and big cities with the big ads and shit and the internet, and of course let us not forget the most important part of all that what human society had created that was significant… Porn Hub.
Everything that I was made aware of while back on Earth I started to forget somewhat. Granted not everything of course, but some of the little details, like the eyes on a real horse; it was fleeting from my memory at the time and it was weird remembering it all again. And as the horse got lose, I could feel the horse was just staring into my soul, either because it knew of what I once knew but now have started forgetting or it was probably giving me the fuck me eyes.
Yeah, those fuck me eyes, I tell you never trust anything that gives you the fuck me eyes. Not even when a baby gives you the fuck me eyes because you know it’s a trap. I know it’s tempting, but it’s all a trap by George Bush for you to cause 11/11. But, we all know better than that.
We all know George Bush is a reptilian from the planet mars and he was there on Earth to try and keep people down on planet Earth, trapped. Well I tell you what… I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! Wait, let me put on my imaginary tin foil hat on… there we go. Now where was I?
Oh yeah… I KNOW THE TRUTH DAMN IT! IN THE FUTURE, ALIENS WILL COME DOWN FROM SPACE AND GIVE US THE CURE TO CANCER AND THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO KEEP YOU IN DEBT!
THEY SECRETLY HAVE PRISONS ALREADY BUILT ON THE SURFACE OF MARS AND ANYONE THAT DOES’T FOLLOW THE NEW RULES OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER WILL GO THERE! THEY ARE HIDING BIG FOOT UNDERNEATH THE COLORADO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ALONG WITH THE ILLUMANTI, ELVIS, ROBIN WILLIAMS, WHITTNEY HOUSTIN, AND TUPAC!
Biggie Smalls is dead though because how else is he going to haunt your ass whenever you say his names three times?
Anyways… THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AIIIIIIIIIIIIDS! IT’S ONLY THE PLACEBO EFFECT AND THEY MAKE YOU TRHINK REALLY HARD THAT IT IS REAL, BUT REALLY IT ISN’T BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT IS JUST GIVING YOU PILLS FOR CATS!
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS! THEY ARE PUTTING CRACK COCAINE IN COCA-COLA CANS STILL BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT!? YOU CAN ACTUALLY BREATH IN SPACE MOTHER FUCKERS!! THERE IS BREATHABLE AIR IN SPACE AND YOU ARE BEING LIED TO BY THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO KEEP US NORMAL PEOPLE DOWN!!! THE ALMIGHTY TIME CUBE IS TRUE AND WOODSTOCK WAS A HOAX!!! World War II IS A SCAM AND THE MEDIEVAL TIMES IS MADE UP!!! TRUST MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I HAVE TIN FOIL AS A HAT!!!
Ok then, I’m done with the conspiracies… for now… let me just take off my imaginary tin foil hat and, there we go. Ok now what was I saying again? Oh yeah the horse. The horse was also bigger than me, as in… weirdly bigger than me in terms of height, weight and just in overall mass.
It towered me because I was like the rest of the little ponies, although I’m not sure about ponies like Celestia though. It feels like even in these day, that horse could rival the size of Celestia’s ass, but not catch up to her height or swan like neck. I don’t know… either way, it was in a way from my perspective that the horse was huge. And in a weird way abnormal and maybe surreal as well as the real life, realistic horse was walking towards me and here I was, a small, Technicolor talking, magical pony that was a unicorn and shit that could talk. It’s kind of weird about that and that there’s really no other way of describing it other than it being sort of surreal like that.
You just had to be there in my shoes to really understand how surreal it was, at least as far as I see it. And so with that being said, as the horse drew near me, I also got to see that the horse also had armor on.
It looked like the amour was made out of pure silver and was tough as steel and looked like it was made by fine craftsmanship and all. It also to had engravings on the armor as well, although this time looking like it was telling a sort of sequel to the last engravings. Hold on… I think I’ve got it.
There was once a dragon that was friends with the dragon that was once high off its ass. Yeah… that one… Yeah… wait… I think I lost track again. Was it really the dragon that was high?
Hold on, I feel like I just blacked out for a second, ok never mind, it was the one that was about the dragon that was high. Sorry, just lost my train of thought for a second. Feels like it’s been well over a year has passed in that second. Just saying, so yeah, it was the dragon that was high. The dragon was high… on the clouds… while smoking a big joint.
His eyes were red as a bloodshot eye and his mind was stoned like being by muzzies for having a woman showing some ankle. That is forbidden, as well as showing off your eyes. I mean the only thing that the muzzies have now are other guys. So when you think about it, THEY’RE GAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Anyways, the story goes… I think that the dragon was high and was in the clouds being stoned off his mind. He was carefree, day dreaming and hallucinating all kinds of things in his mind. He was seeing bees fucking an old granny and a cereal box taking some Jews hostages. It was purely random and it made no sense at all, but yet that’s what weed does to you sometimes. The special green stuff even made the dragon laugh uncontrollably and found almost everything to be funny.
He even saw a butterfly nearby and thought it was a Anne Frank’s ashes, but of course we all know that’s a silly idea since her ashes would be in a dust pan instead. But the dragon stopped laughing at it as it knew that, as well as we all know, how to pick up a Jewish chick is to simply pick them up with a dust pan. Damn it, that didn’t go too well. Well anyway, the dragon was pretty much laughing like some kind of hippy, no care in the world as the sky was as blue as the sea and the sun radiating it’s warmth onto the dragon.
And then suddenly, another dragon flew by, a more fierce and sinister looking dragon. This dragon was red and was long like a giant snake. And the giant snake dragon with big bug like eyes came flying through the dragon’s personal space and looked at him. The dragon that was high didn’t notice the other dragon of course, but the other dragon was pissed and was not happy with the dragon that was high off his ass. At least that’s how the folklore goes in Japan. Other versions suggest that the red dragon is a communist and is wondering why the dragon isn’t sharing the weed with all the other dragons equally, but you know, that’s just a cultural thing I’d bet.
The version in Africa suggest the red dragon is wondering why the dragon that is high is not sharing the food.
Anyways, the ancient folklore continues with the red dragon getting pissed and looking down upon the weed dragon, as he stares at the weed dragon in silence and in patience. But eventually that patience wears thin and the red dragon finally reached the boiling point.
And so the red dragon yelled at the weed dragon and said, “WHY DO YOU NOT WORK GREEN DRAGON!? WE ARE ALL DOING OUR FAIR SHARE TO WORK THE FIELDS AND HERE YOU ARE JUST SITTING HERE LIKE A LAZY PANDA! DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME!? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF GREEN DRAGON?! WHAT WOULD YOUR POOR MOTHER AND FATHER THINK OF YOU!?”
And the weed dragon of course heard the red dragon, and so the weed dragon got up and looked around, as his eyes were still red like flames and said with a little smile, “Wha?...”
Of course this made the red dragon angry and frustrated.
So the red dragon screamed with madness and yelled out, “BY THE NMAE OF THE GODS! I CANOT DEAL THIS WITH YOU!”
And then the red dragon looked towards the weed dragon and yelled at him with eyes of furry, “I WILL BE DAMNED IF I HAVE YOU CONTINUE TO BE HERE. I SHALL HAVE A TALK WITH THE ELDERS AND HAVE YOU BE DAMNED AND EXILED FROM THESE LANDS! PRAY THAT THE GODS HAVE FORSHAKEN YOU BY THIS EVENING GREEN DRAGON!”
And then the red dragon left and after the red dragon was long gone for a few hours, the weed dragon finally said, “Wha?...”
And so the tale goes on to say that the red dragon went to the council of the elders to talk with about the weed dragon staying there and living amongst them in the lands. The council of elders consisted of 7 oranges, old, wide dragons. They all had a set number of stars on their foreheads to symbolize which number they were in the council.
And later in that evening, the red dragon went to the council of elders and spoke to them about the weed dragon. And as the council of elders heard the red dragon out, they all gathered and talked to one another about the matter. They talked through the night if they should exile the weed dragon from the lands. Some said that they shouldn’t since it seemed wrong to exile a dragon that has eye problems.
But then some brought up that he didn’t have eye problems and instead the weed dragon was just really retarded and possibly autistic. In the end, as the sun rose high in the sky, three voted to exile the weed dragon. Three more voted not to exile the weed dragon.
So it all came down to the 7th member of the council of elders, and the 7th council of elders said, “Eh… let’s see what magic 8 Ball has to say.”
And so the 7th dragon took out the magic 8 ball, shook it and the response they got was, “Ask again later.”
And so the 7th dragon said, “Looks like we’re going to be here for a while.”
7 months later, they finally for an answer and it was yes to exile the weed dragon. And so the council of elders ordered the red dragon to exile the weed dragon from the lands and the red dragon was eager. And so the red dragon went to the weed dragon, who was still high off his ass while looking at the sky.
And so the red dragon went over to the weed dragon, looked down upon him, and yelled, “GET OUT OF HERE GREEN DRAGON! THE ELDERS HAS SPOKEN AND THEY HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU MUST LEAVE THE LANDS! YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO LIVE HERE FOR YOU DO NOT WORK OR PAY RESPECT TO THE ELDERS!”
The weed dragon didn’t respond because he was still high, and the red dragon just looked at him and was angered by the silent response from the weed dragon.
So the red dragon looked to the heavens and yelled, “BY THE NAME OF THE GODS, WHY WON’T THE GREEN DRAGON LEAVE! WHY IS HE SO STUBBORN IN HIS WAYS!? ALL HE DOES IS SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING FOR ANYONE!? WHY DOES HE REMAIN HERE IN THESE LANDS!? WHY IS HE SO RESISTANT!? WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE HERE TO BE WITH US GODS!?”
But then terror striked behind the red dragon, as he heard yelling and screams of terror from afar. And so the red dragon looked behind him out of curiosity and saw that the village of the dragons was being under attacked by savages… also known as monkeys, as the monkeys of pure black were ravaging the lands.
And the monkeys were led by their leader, Gorilla… because he was a Gorilla… leading the other Gorillas, but he was THE Gorilla. The red dragon was shocked, and was scared for his life and for the others in the lands.
The dragons were being killed left and right by the evil monkeys, as the Gorilla was hiding a pale horse and yelled out, “WHERE’S THE WATERMELONS AT DRAGONS! WE KNOW YOU GROW THE BEST WATERMELONS IN THE LAND AND IT’S WROTH AMONGEST THE OTHER CREATURES! WE WANT THE WATERMELONS!”
Some of the dragons pleaded with the Gorilla, offering them other things that weren’t watermelon related for them to go away. But the Gorilla was stubborn in his ways and demanded the dragon’s watermelons. And so the red dragon tried to fight back the monkeys, but he wasn’t strong enough because he was a dragon, and the monkeys were stronger than most of the dragons. But The Gorilla was not satisfied with this simple invasion.
He really… REALLY wanted that watermelon, so he decided to pay a little visit to the council of elders. So The Gorilla busted down the council of elder’s doors, went to the 7 elders, and demanded they order all of the dragons give them their watermelons and they will leave peacefully. So the elders spoke with one another and decided to ask the magic 8 ball.
And the answer they got was, “Ask again later.”
And so the 7th dragon said, “Well monkeys, looks like we’re going to be here for a while. And the monkeys agreed to wait until the magic 8 ball gave them an answer, and while they waited, they all had banana nut pudding that the Gorilla brought along. Also some fried chicken and kool aid man’s blood.
So 7 more months passes by, and the magic ball finally gave an answer and it was yes. And so The Gorilla said fuck it, and killed all the elders and said he was taking over. And so he enslaved all of the dragons into farming watermelons for the monkeys. And all female and male dragons were enslaved and forced to tend to the needs of the monkeys. Even the children were used to sell illegal spices to the other creatures in other lands, as they were drug mules.
It was terrible.
And as for the weed dragon, he finally ran out of weed and the effects of the green stuff wore off. So the weed dragon, still somewhat tipsy, but not entirely, walked back to his village, not noticing the enslavement of his own kind, and asked around where the weed was. Eventually the monkeys knocked out the weed dragon and took him to The Gorilla for resisting enslavement by the monkeys.
And once they took him to the leader The Gorilla, The Gorilla asked the weed dragon, “ARE YOU KIND OF SOME FUCKING AUTISIT OR SOMETHING YOU DIBSHIT!?”
And the weed dragon then asked, “Hey you have any weed on you? I don’t have the money on me right now, but I’m good for it. Just ask my buddy tom, he knows I’m good for it. Wait… Tom died last week… or was that 9 years ago when I accidently drowned him?”
The Gorilla was confused with the weed dragon, “What is this weed that you speak of Green Dragon?”
And the weed dragon responded with a laugh and said to the Gorilla, “You look funny…”
So the Gorilla thought about it, and demanded weed to be harvested instead of the watermelon. And once enough weed was grown and harvested for all of the monkeys, they all chilled out, and then they said they were sorry for killing the elders, and freed the slaves and went on to find the land of California. As for the dragons, they were all shocked that the weed dragon freed them, especially the red dragon.
The red dragon went up to the weed dragon and said, “GREEN DRAGON! I AM SO SORRY FOR EVER DOUBTING YOU! CLEARLY THE GODS HAVE A PURPOSE FOR YOU AND YOU DO YOUR PART IN THE LANDS! YOU SHALL NO LONGER BE EXILED FROM THESE LANDS GREEN DRAGON! WE ARE FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT!”
And all the weed dragon had to say was, “Yeah that’s cool, do you have any weed?”
The end…and the moral of the story is that don’t trust the monkeys. I think that’s the moral of the story. I think that’s what the Japs wanted to tell their kids right before bed. I mean that was the whole folktale written on the horse’s armor. Yup… all of it…now that I look back I think I got all wrong. It might have been the story about the cow and the chicken, but I think that’s a three hundred page story so I guess a story for another time. I think it involves incest I believe.
Anyways, the realistic, tall horse along with the samurai on top was coming towards through the mist. And the mist was sort of heavy as well. There was nothing else that I could see other than the train tracks. So it felt like it was just me and him, almost like this was some sort of showdown. Or some sort of horror movie or a Silent Hill rip off game, either way, it felt almost intimidating just to be in that situation at that time.
And let just say it didn’t get any easier either; not one little bit because I had a bit of a worried look in my eyes. I mean, just the fact that I saw a realistic looking horse that I would have seen from my world just waltzing on up to me from out of nowhere, in the middle of the night no less, kind of put my at an unease state. And I think it would put anyone unease as well don’t you think?
Then again, considering everything that I had been through up until that point, did it really matter? I mean hell, with what I’ve been through before I started writing this journal, let’s just woooooaaaahhh!
Anyways… the samurai was coming towards me. And I was sort of stuck in my place. As in, I couldn’t move because of the fog. But at least I could see those engravings though; interesting stuff. And of course there are more ancient, old folktales to be told, but some other time. Anyways, the samurai was coming towards me, and with every step that the realistic horse took, with every clopping sound it made on the ground, my body got a little bit stiffer. The clinging sound of the armor coming into contact with one another made the sound echo through the night.
And with no one there, it made it sort of chilling. I didn’t know what was going to happen. At that time, I didn’t know if this was some sort of new foe that I would have to face or some sort of trickery with my mind. Perhaps it was sort of a folktale kind of creature, where it is one thing, but really it’s something else. Oddly enough though, as I was waiting for the samurai to come closer to me, I could just barely see my surroundings, and it had looked like that I had entered a forest with it being on both sides of the track with the track going straight through the middle.
But that was sort of a guess at the time since the fog was thick. And with being alone surrounded by a bunch of fucking woods under the midnight sky, it felt like a perfect fitting. Not only to mention, where did the fog even come from to begin with? It didn’t seem to be that kind of weather for fog to appear. But then again, the fuck do I know about weather?
TK would know stuff about that. I mean I know shit, just not enough to be like Twilight. Like I’m in the middle between being smart and being a dumbass, I’ll admit it. I know… so shocking, so… not so obvious. Whatever, I’ve come to terms with it, I know I have problems, but you can’t make me fix it. The ol’ green stuff is my only friend… yeaaaaaaahhh.
Anyways, the samurai got closer and closer and as he got closer, I only wondered why he didn’t say anything or did anything different. It almost looked like he didn’t even see me; like he was some kind of ghost. In which case, that would have been ironic. It would have been like a My Little Pony fan fiction fanatic come to life, if you know what I’m talking about.
I’ve read those things before I left Earth and really I don’t give a shit. Anyways, the samurai eventually made it up to me, as in it got very close. And like I said my body got a little stiff with every step it took as it came towards me. And I was starting to shiver a little too out of fear. And being alone, with one else by my side to help me out in any situation, not to mention I don’t think I was prepared for this kind of deal.
I was tired and wanted to go back to my library home back in Stalia, I was scared. And when it pretty much got close enough, I closed my eyes real tight, and cowered my head a little bit towards the ground with my right foreleg being raised up towards my head. And of course like I said, my body was shivering with fright. And I just kept my eyes shut and hoped for the best.
And in my mind, I kept saying, ‘Damn it, why do these fucking Asian mother fuckers have to follow me wherever I go? Is it enough they invade my nightmares every night? Just please go away, please go away, please go away. Please don’t give me Sars or a Corona Virus; just give it to the Jews, that’s who you want… right? That’s who the Asians are after?
‘Or would that be the Africans because they are not of the yellow kind. Neither does the whites, but the whites are closer to the yellows so wouldn’t we be sort of half allies like Japan and Hitler? Maybe and the blacks would have the dirt brown people as their half allies, but what about the red people? Hmmmm… maybe their ally would be the water people.
‘That would sound about right. Those damn water people, I tell you water people are weird as hell. I’ve heard stories about those water people, yet never found one, but I do believe in them, despite the others calling me a fool. But just you wait until the day that I get proof that the water people exist in the city of St. Louis. It is the most obvious place for the water people to have their habitat at since there is a giant upside down, lower case u as a monument nearby.
‘They celebrate their upside down, lower case u as one of their gods. They believe it’s one of their gods that give them life, and if they don’t sacrifice something to it every now and then, it will get angry and fall over and become an upside down, lower case n instead. The horrors if that day ever came to be.
‘Wow, I’m sort of calm when I’m with my own thoughts huh? Time also seems to fly by as well… wait a minute… how come I don’t even hear anything anymore? I don’t believe I went deaf… or died. Or maybe that’s what dying feels like, like everything just ceases to exist. Maybe I should shut up and take a look at what is happening.’
And so I slowly raised my right forearm off of my eyes and slowly opened my eyelids to take a sort of peek to see what was happening in front of me. And when I did, what I saw was a bit startling for me, as the realistic horse’s face was right in front of mine. And when I saw that, my eyes went wide for a fraction of a second and after that fraction of a second had passed, the horse took a heavy breath, to where you could see the air a little bit that came out of its nose.
Almost as if the air around us was that cold, and to be fair was kind of chilly, but I guess that’s just the magic of the Japanese, don’t you agree? Anyways, after it exhaled, and I was startled by the realistic horse face that was right in front of mines, I jumped back a bit and screamed a little bit. Not in a high pitch scream, not even a long scream, just a little startling kind of scream, as I backed up very quickly and fell on my pony ass backwards and had to push myself with my forearms to back up a little bit.
Meanwhile, my face also responded to the startle by have a little scared look on my face, if we’re going into details that is. And with that being said, even then nothing happened. Instead there was just silence for a few seconds. And once I noticed nothing was happening, I turned my head upwards to look at the samurai, while still on my pony ass and holding myself up with my forearms.
So technically I was on my pony back, but whatever. Let’s not get that technical, but you get the picture. And once I did look up at the samurai, there was still a silence between the two of us. It was pretty much clear that I had to say something first and I was a bit hesitant to say anything at that point to be fair.
Especially after being scared a little bit with my heart skipping a beat I think. I think, but it’s possible that happened. Anyways, there was still silence, so I had to break the ice.
So I gathered up the courage, at least as much as I could muster, and said to the silent samurai, “Uhhh… hi… can I help you?”
And then… silence... no response. Quiet filled the air as the tension was rising for the samurai to respond to my question.
But thankfully there wasn’t too much tension, as he eventually spoke up and said to me, “Are you Ass Blaster 69?”
He had said it in a stereotypical Japanese tone, but a rough tone I must add. He had that Japanese accent, despite speaking English. Sure it wasn’t the best English I had ever heard, but it was clear enough for me to understand. But still, it was that rough kind of voice, like someone who you didn’t mess with from Japan, but still is stereotypical, but that might just be me because they all sound the same.
Sorry sorry, but it’s the truth... I can never hear them pronounce their R’s correctly.
It’s not Herro… it’s Hello.
Maybe that Ghost fella is starting to rub off on me. Anyways, after he had asked me that questioned I went silent myself, almost like I had become the samurai myself and became what I feared. Also, to note, that samurai when looked up close, he had his samurai sword out, holding it in his left hand, in an upright position.
It was made out of some sort of shiny metal and looked like it was never used and was made that very day almost, And I think it had an etching of the weed dragon I think. But whatever, that was just a little detailed I had noticed by that point. But for the most part, I was silent towards the samurai.
And it was mostly due to confusion. I mean, what was he talking about, and why? I mean why this whole thing to begin? I mean the fear, the fog, the realistic horse… all to ask me if I had some sort of autistic name… I guess it would be autistic. It sounded more retarded, but autistic sounds about right. That or some edgy kid from the 2000’s, but whatever.
We can debate that at a later date or something... in the shower probably. Anyways, I was trying to figure out why he had said that name. I mean, when he said it, I sure as hell I didn’t have that name, my name is Knight, or some other name that started with a B back on Earth when that was a thing for me. Yet, it sounded familiar, like I knew an Ass Blaster 69. Was it someone on the Playstation Network that I was friends with?
Perhaps it was a name on Xbox Live, and it was some 8 year old that I kept telling that I did his mom last night too while being drunk one night, in which case no shame in that, an eye for an eye I always say. An eye for an eye.
Maybe it was someone that I met in a chat room once while on a lonely and quiet summer night. Maybe it was the weed dealer that I stole the weed from when I wanted to try weed for the first time, but didn’t have any money on me. I think I killed him on accident, but that was probably something else.
I mean, it was later, waaaay later after I found the outside of the universe thing, but still. Sigh, I suppose. Like I said though, the name sounded familiar. Perhaps since I knew someone who had that name, the samurai just assumed I was that person. In which case, I suppose I had to give him the right message of I’m Ass Blaster 69. But whatever that was what I was thinking in my head at the time as the silence continued to grow ever more slightly as the seconds passed by between the two of us.
And so I finally decided to speak up and say to the samurai, “Sorry but uhhh…I think you got the wrong guy here. I am not Ass blaster 69.”
I had said that with a calm tone, with a pair of calm eyes, although one of them was slightly raised up, but mostly in confusion a little bit. And as I got up on my all four pony legs, still not going to get used to that in any way, the samurai looked at me as if he had stern eyes, and eyes that had passion for war; like he had seen fighting to the death to the point to where it would drive any man insane.
Or maybe he was giving me respect and was looking at me while I was talking to him. In which case thank you very much random Asian despite not hearing that… or ever reading this probably. And after I had said that, there was once again silence between the two of us, but this time it wasn’t as long.
And the samurai responded to me with, “Are you sure?”
The samurai was a bit confused as well it had sounded, and it showed a little bit in his body movements to as he moved a little bit closer towards me. He then put his samurai sword away on his left side. And then he proceeded to take out a scroll that was located on his hip on his right side with his right hand.
And he then proceeded to unravel the scroll with both hands fairly quickly and then looking at it. On the scroll itself, there was a lot of traditional Japanese writing on it, as well as it being vertical with some haiku looking pictures on it at the same time.
And he then said to me as he was looking at the scroll, which to be fair looked kind of ancient, but yet bad ass I’ll admit, “It says here that you are Ass Blaster 69.”
After he had said that to me, he then put down the scroll down a little bit and looked back towards me. In which case, I rolled my eyes back to my head a little bit, thinking about it, while giving the typical, ‘Hmmmmm….’
Sound just like everyone else. And I thought about it, and after a few seconds, I then looked back towards him, this time with two raised eye brows, still being confused of course and I said to him, “I’m pretty sure I’m not. Why? What does it say on there?”
And then after that, the samurai brought the scroll back up towards his face and he said as he continued to look at the scroll, “It says that you are Ass Blaster 69, who ordered a package from Amazon on May the 11th, 2013 at 1:30 A.M. …”
The samurai then put down the scroll and looked back towards me and then said, “…Central Time.”
I then had a little bit of wide eyes, but not much. Mostly because I was a bit surprised it said all of that information on there, let alone a samurai mentioning Amazon to begin with.
I then raised my right forearm and pointing towards him and asked, “It says all of that?”
The samurai then said to me, “Yes, yes it does.”
I then rolled my eyes back to my head and continued to think about this some more, and while I didn’t remember anything, the name still sounded familiar to me.
And so I then looked back towards the samurai, while still pointing my right hoof towards him and asked him, “How do you know if it is even me? I honestly don’t remember ordering anything at all on that date and time so I still believe you got the wrong guy here.”
The samurai then brought back the scroll to his face and then continued to say to me, “It says that you ordered a game from Japan. And it gives your IP address.”
I then had wide, yet worried eyes and I then said, “It does?”
I then rolled my eyes back towards my head and thought about it once more time, this time for a few more seconds then the previous times and really thought hard about this. And then after a few seconds had passed on by, I then had wide eyes period, stopped making that ‘hmmmmm’ sound and put my right hoof down.
I then looked back towards the samurai, had a bit of a gaping hole with my mouth as I had a bit of an ah ha moment and moved my head a little bit from side to side a little and said, with a calm tone I mind you “Ohhhhhhhh… Now I remember. I did order something from Japan on that date and time...”
However, I was still a bit hesitant with the name so I had wide yet worried eyes on my face, raised my right hoof back up and asked the samurai again and asked, “But was it really with the name Ass blaster 69?”
The samurai took one more quick look back at his scroll as he raised it up for a relief second.
And after that brief second had passed, he then put it down and said straight to me, “Yes.”
I then thought about it for a few seconds more and I think I had finally remembered something, a little memory sort of speak that I had forgotten from when I was living back on Earth. Sometime after I had discovered the outside of the universes… I think… or was that before, whatever, it’s not important.
I had an Amazon account named Ass Blaster 69… somehow… and ordered an imported game for Playstation 3 at the time and I was just now remembering it. Probably because it had never came in and I just forgot about it. To be fair I didn’t even remember what game it was that I even ordered. I was just drawing a blank on the whole order altogether.
Although for the record, the game was an import of a Gundum game. Can’t say there are any regrets on the wait time. And so after I had sort of remembered it, I really couldn’t say, nor can I say with one hundred percent confidence that I did have the name Ass Blaster 69. But by that point, the evidence was stacked against me so it must have been.
Anyways, I then said to the samurai with a surprised, yet calm and accepting eyes, “Well shit, I guess I did ordered something.”
But then I had a little disappointed looked in my eyes, as if I was upset. I then had a thought come to me and I lowered my head a little while putting my left hoof towards my mouth, thinking about something.
I then thought about it for a few seconds more and I then looked back towards the samurai and asked him, with my left hoof pointing towards him, “But wait a minute, why did it take so long for the package to get to me?”
My eyes were slightly squinting a bit, almost as if I was suspicious of the samurai for taking so long with my package. I mean, it took this long, at least for me. It was like 50,000 years or so, give or take, late for me. I’m not so sure for how long it took for the samurai, but for me it was kind of late, if I don’t say so myself. And besides, why didn’t it show up when I was still back on Earth? That seems a bit suspicious to me, almost as if something was going on with the package, like there was some sort of conspiracy against me. Perhaps this isn’t real life and instead I’m on the Truman show instead… or not.
I’m not that mentally handicapped you know. Anyway, I had asked my question and the samurai just looked at me. A few seconds more passed by, and as those seconds of silence passed, he rolled up the scroll and put it back on the right side of hip, which was probably some sort of hook.
I’m assuming anyways that is. So he then puts the scroll away and then went to his left side, and took out his sword again. And he did swiftly as well, almost as if I had made some sort of threats towards him and was ready to strike me down. But I wasn’t startled, despite the sword being quickly drawn along with that little noise when a Samurai sword is taken out very swiftly. A swoosh I suppose it is called. And he had it back at the upright position that he had it before he took out the scroll.
And so after he had done so, the seconds of silence had passed and he then said to me, “That is a secret Japanese secret that I can never SAY to you non Japanese! So you will never know as to why your package came this late, or why it took me over 100,000 years to find you to deliver this package! I will tell you this non Japanese being. I have been on a dangerous journey trying to find you and to deliver you this package. I have fought tooth and nail with monsters that came from the sea! I have escaped the grasp from ancient ghosts that wanted to feed on my flesh!
‘I have traveled many universes, many worlds in fact. I have made many friends along the journey, but I have also lost many as well. I even fought an ancient evil that tried to take over the future, but in the end all I did was go to the past and kill him before some other Japanese faggot got to him. He was slow. But even then, I continued my journey. I even fell in love with a three horned alien chick, she was so hot I came five times in two seconds, but alas, we were not meant to be together as fate had other plans for us. She had to stay in her home world while I had to continue my journey.
‘But even so, I continued for it was my duty to deliver this package to you. And towards my end of my journey, before I even got here to you to deliver this package, I fought a giant owl beast. It was an unusual owl to say the least, but it claimed to be a god and have a cult following it. And the cult tried to take me and sacrifice me to it, but I escaped nonetheless, with only a few minor flesh wounds. But I am sure that I will meet the giant owl god again as I will try to find my way back home.
‘And even though I went through hell and back, I have no regrets. For if I had failed to deliver the package, I would have caused great dishonor to my ancestors and would have to off myself, just like any Asian would. That, you can know non-Japanese.”
I then stared at him for a while, trying to take it all in. It sounded convincing, but at the same time, it was kind of meh to me considering it’ not the craziest thing I’ve heard, but in the end, I just stared at him with sort of wide eyes, but not really. Kind of those half wide eyes, but you’re not so shocked or surprised by anything. Really, you’re a little focused, but kind of mellowed out. Almost as if you smoked some of that special green stuff, but you really didn’t. Instead your mind smoked it. Anyways, I then thought about what he had said, and it was after a few seconds had passed. But then I had to ask him something.
So I then looked at the samurai, who was starting to look a little impatient by the look of his body language a little bit, and I asked him, “Are you sure you can’t tell me how you got here? You can’t let a little secret of a Japanese to a non-Japanese out just a little bit?”
I had said it with one of my eye brows being raised, curious to see if he would say yes to it or not. And so after I had asked that question, the samurai just looked a little unease, like he was insulted. Sure, you couldn’t see his face, but his body language was him jolting up a little bit, almost as if his patients was starting to wear thin. With what he said to me next, he didn’t yell, but his tone of voice was starting to go up a bit.
And so the samurai said, “Of course not! I had said that I cannot let you in on that secret to a non-Japanese! It is against the code! It would bring great dishonor to my ancestors, along to my entire people! I would be shunned and even exiled from my homeland if I were to tell you even in the slightest of how I got here in the first place! I may be even be sent to execution, with no hope for my soul reaching the heavens to live among the gods! I will be sent to live in purgatory forever and will have to roam the spiritual Earth forever! So to answer our question you non-Japanese, no, I cannot.”
He had said that last bit with ease, as if he was starting to calm down. It felt like he was trying to get something off his chest and he was finally calming down and relaxing. But his tone of voice was still high with what he told me, and it sounded like he didn’t want to budge and tell me the secret of how he even got here.
I was curious of course, considering a delivery boy would be this committed to their job to deliver me a package all the way several universes over. Now only if the Dominoes guy was that committed, but hey, take my fucking gift card money that I found next to a dead body and not deliver my fucking food. Just stay there and continue to put all the ingredients all in your fucking holes and fucking around with it. Don’t mind me for ordering the pizza.
For the record, Wolf wanted the pizza, he was high, he got the munchies, and he kept pushing me to call dominoes. I kept telling him no, they won’t deliver to the outside of the universe, but he never listened to me and we wasted a gift card that we found right next to a dead body.
Then again, maybe the thing bounced, in which case, whoever that guy was, I guess we can be glad that he died, dead beat son of a bitch. Anyways, I just stared at the samurai, and I thought about what he had said in my mind, a few seconds passed, and I then asked the samurai, while having my eyes shift a little bit, while keeping my head down low a little bit, while still looking at the samurai, because that would be rude not to look at him while talking.
So I said to him, “Are you sure you can’t? I mean… no one is around… and I don’t think your ancestors would know. I mean you are several universes over. Surely they won’t find out all the way out here?”
The samurai then fell silent for a bit. He didn’t respond, he didn’t even make any movement. It just looked like he was thinking… and he was thinking.
And then his response to me was, “While you make a fair point, I fear that I may not be allowed to say a single word about it to you non-Japanese.”
The samurai the made his realistic horse turn one hundred and eighty degrees, so basically saying turning the opposite direction. So really, he had his back turned to me, as he was looking up at the night sky a bit as well as whatever else that was behind him, which was just a lot of fog. And so he turned his back to me, while I had a confused look on my face. My right eyebrow was raised, as my head raised up as well, as I was a bit confused as to why he turned around, but also curious as to what he had to say.
I mean I think I had made a pretty good and fair point, didn’t I? Then again, Baby Jesus did follow me, but in the end, that’s just how Christianity is. Jesus will always follow you because he is in your heart… and is watching you from your closet while you’re sleeping… staring at you. Watching you sleep so peacefully and soundly… he knows what you’ve been doing.
He watches you, and you have no idea that he is in your closet, just staring at you. You may not see him, but he sees you. And all of the sins that you have done, he knows, and is waiting for the day of your reckoning to come before he makes his final move against you. And who knows, maybe he gets off to it or something… but still, he watches, it’s how he knows that you have sinned, at least that’s what the Christens from Utah has told me.
I read it on the internet like a few years ago, somewhere on a shady deep web site. I’m pretty sure it was true, they say their source was Leslie Nelson…’s ghost. That makes sense right? Anyways, the samurai had his back turned to me, I was confused, yet curious as to what he had to say about what I had said, and he then broke his silence.
He then said to me, this time with not a loud tone, just a calm voice, while taking off his traditional mask to reveal that he was wearing a black face mask like a bandit and put it on his belt thingy, “I know what you’re trying to say non-Japanese. But I fear that I am being watched. And it is believed by my people that the souls of our ancestors follow wherever we go, no matter how far and how long. They follow our souls and keep a watch over us to make sure we honor them and ourselves right. We live by this back in my homeland.
‘So if I were to ever say a single word about the secrets of my people to a non-Japanese, my ancestors will be displeased me and I will not granted the afterlife that I desire. I will not be allowed to see my wife again that was killed by one of those filthy fucking, no good for nothing, human garbage, mother cucking cunt bitch ass mother fucking Chinese person.
‘Seriously, fuck those chinks. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR ASIAN RACE DAMN IT! WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE, TRYING TO TAKE OUR TURF LIKE THAT! WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING RAPED THEM ALL THOSE DEAD MOTHER FUCKERS! THEY’RE RICE ISN’T EVEN THAT GOOD GOD DMAN IT! WE MAKE THE GOOD SHIT IN OUR HOMELAND, BUT NOOOOOOOOO… EVERYONE WANTS FROM CHINA BECAUSE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF CHEAP MOTHER FUCKERS! THE FUCKING UNITED STATES BOMBED US, THEY LEAST THEY COULD DO IS GIVE US THE JOB INSTEAD OF THOSE FUCKING DONKEY ASS RAPING SHIT EATERS! THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS! WE WIL HAVE OUR VENGENCE YOU CHINESE MOTHER FUCKERS! JUST YOU WAIT! WE’LL FUCKING KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL YOUUUUUUUUUU!!”
He had said that last part with quite the rage I might add, and it felt like he was letting a lot off his chest as well. In which case, while it may have been off topic, it was sort of entertaining to hear his half baked English voice trying to yell about the Chinese. I mean I’m not into that whole Asian versus Asian war thing they have going on, but hey, at least they have something going for them I guess.
As long as we get our cheap garbage and smart Asian kids to do our math homework, that’s all that really matters in the end. But he was still pissed about it. Even during that last part, about killing them, he moved both of his arms in anger, while looking up towards the night sky, with the moon facing him, and yelling it out like a wild animal of sorts.
Clearly he had a lot of rage built up, but in the end, after he was done going on his little rant, he then let a few seconds of silence go by. He was breathing a little heavily a little bit after he had yelled, probably tried to catch his breath after yelling at the top of his lungs like a lunatic. And after he had taken a few seconds break, he hung his head low a little bit.
And after a few seconds more, he then went back to his original position, and turned his head toward me, at least as much as he could, while I still had my same look as before, and he said to me, “Sorry about that. I got a little carried away there.”
He then turned his head back and continued to have his back turned to me. He then continued to say, “Trust me, never trust a Chinese person. They will fucking kill you. Trust any other Asian, even the rats in Vietnam if you must, but never trust a Chinese person. I made that mistake by having an open heart and trusting one, and in the end I paid for it with my wife being killed as she was killed by the Chinese person shoving their terrible rice down her throat. The rice was so bad, she puked.
‘They should have known that Japanese cannot consume Chinese rice as it is not compatible with our bodies. But those ignorant fucks didn’t know anything. They are not educated in China other than to do it for their chairman Mao. But I do swear me and my people will get China one day. And in a way, it does bring to my point non-Japanese. My wife is a spirit now and looks over me. And if I were to tell you my people’s secrets, even just for a brief second, her soul would be restless and she would haunt me until the end of my days. Not only that, but my ancestors will bring their wrath down upon me and my soul. And the gods will not allow me into the heavens. Believe me though non-Japanese, I do want to speak of our secrets.
‘It is something that we hold dear, and despite the incident with those Chinese chink mother fuckers… I still have a desire to have an open heart. I still want to share with others that is not of our kind and to show them our ways of life and how we live and the secrets and the knowledge that we know of and hold. I believe it would benefit everyone if we did. It would bring us even closer, and perhaps they can share their secrets that they know of.
‘A sort of trade, a fair trade. And if we could share our secrets, then we could start some sort of port where we can let others trade goods into our homeland as well. And maybe we could start a road, a road of trading perhaps. Maybe made out of silk… or call it silk… like a silk road or something retarded like that. In fact, it kind of sounds kind of gay the more I think about it.
‘But nevertheless, we could share knowledge that could give all of a benefit for living our lives. We can work together, to make a better future by doing so. But alas, I am forbidden to speak of our secrets. So do you now understand non-Japanese why I cannot tell you our secrets?”
And after he asked me that question, he was looking down, and being all dramatic and shit like that. But aside from that, a few seconds passed by, and I shifted my eyes a bit, as I heard a bit of the wind pass us by along with the silence.
And after a few seconds passed by, as I still had my look as before, I then asked him with moving my left hoof around a little bit, “So… you’re saying you’re not allowed to talk of the secrets because a bunch of dead people told you not?”
And so the samurai had his head jolt up a little bit, and he then had his realistic horse turn around and look back towards me a little bit. Like it was halfway, sort of a ninety degree turn you could say. But his head was turned towards me and no longer being rude when talking to me.
He then said to me straight, “When you put it like that way, the way of my people sounds kind of retarded.”
I then said back to him, with my look now changing into a more mellowed outlook, and said to him, “Well it’s not as crazy. I mean, it sounds retarded, and kind of gay, but really I don’t think you need to worry about dead ancestors finding out. I mean you are talking to a technical talking pony that is a unicorn in a land filled with other Technicolor talking ponies. I mean, it sounds retarded, but at the same time do you think anyone cares? Would the ancestors even care to come this far to begin with?”
I had said while also moving my right forearm around a little bit while extending it as well.
The samurai then looked like he was thinking about it for a few, and he then said to me, while still in the same position, “Well it is a rule for the ancestors to remain only in the homeland. They are forbidden to leave and they have to rely on the honesty of the living to report if anyone is breaking the code.”
After he said that, I didn’t say anything. I just let the silence speak for itself. If anything I just sat there on my pony ass, while waiting for an answer to come from the samurai. And so after waiting for a few more seconds, and yeah I know, so many precious seconds wasted, and the samurai then turned his head quickly to his left, and after a quick second, he the quickly turned his head to the right.
He was doing this in a way that was saying he was making sure no one else that he may have knew as around. While it does sound kind of dumb when you’re the only human in that area in that moment, but I suppose if you’re a Japanese, it is important to make sure that your cover isn’t blown or else the evil tentacle monster will take you away in your sleep.
The life of a Japanese is really hard you know.
Anyways, after he looked both ways, making no one else was around to hear him what he was going to say next to me, he then looked back towards me and he then asked me, “If I tell you our secrets, will you promise to tell me one of your non-Japanese secrets?”
I then asked him, with still a mellowed outlook on my face, “I guess. I don’t know if I will have any non-Japanese secrets to tell you, but if that’s what you want to believe I guess.”
The samurai then told me as he turned his realistic horse fully towards me, with his full and complete attention and said to me, “Trust me, there is something that I want to know.”
And so the samurai then looked both ways once more, very quickly I might add this time, as to make sure for sure no one else was listening. But, after he was done with, he moved his realistic horse towards me, almost to the distance to what it was when we first met. And so he got close enough, but once he was at that original distance, he then did the unthinkable… he got off his realistic horse. He dismounted off of his realistic horse.
I did not know that an Asian that rode horses could do such a thing. I’ve only ever heard about Asians getting off of their horses in legends and in fairytales. This kind of stuff is where you hear about it when parents tell their kids bed time stories before they go to sleep and try to scare them to being good children and obeying their parents.
Like the classic The Asian that Could… I forgot what it was about, but I think it involved a nuclear holocaust and a virus because a little boy and girl was bad, so the Asian that was on the horse tried to get off and give them a spanking. But then God got mad after he found out the little boy touched himself at night.
God doesn’t like pedos after all, he castrates them too. And so the world ended, or so that is how the story goes. But there are others, but that’s beside the point, the fucking samurai got off of his realistic horse. And he did it like any normal human being would get off of the horse. Obviously he was smaller than the horse since realistic horses from Earth are more bigger and taller than humans, so it took him a couple of seconds to get down. But after he slipped off the side, he sheathed his samurai sword and put it away in a clean fashion. It didn’t even make a sound. And after he did that, the comparison to how tall a human being, as far as I could tell since when you think about it, this was my first time seeing a human being in Equestria.
And when I mean by that, I mean by on the ground… I think. I don’t know, it just felt weird at the time to see a human being sort of tower over me. Usually we would be the same height or close to it unless it was a fun sized midget, but seeing a human being, feet on the ground, no fancy tricks or flying boats or anything of the sort.
No Jesus or baby Jesus, just a human being. Well, to be fair, he was Asian so he was a wee bit small, and not only to mention, he and his height would be a bit smaller than an average American, so it would be expected that he would be a tad bit short. But regardless, his height compared to me was about three ponies high if you were to stack two more full sized, adult ponies on my back at that time.
Equestria ponies, not realistic ponies, because realistic ponies from earth look, big, fat, and ugly, and it looks like they were made in a genetic lab because of some mad scientist. Realistic Earth ponies look like they want to die and kill themselves because they are god’s bloopers… they are in a sense the midgets of horses. But that was about the size of the samurai. Maybe if he was American, he would be a bit taller, about roughly three and a half size ponies tall, equestrian ponies that is.
Like, you stacked two ponies on my back, then took another full grown, adult sized pony, take a rusty saw, tie that pony down, scalp it, take the scalp and shove it in their mouth, and then cut that pony in half straight down the middle starting from where the anus is and slowly cut the pony in half with no mercy. And as you hear that pony’s scream of pain and agony as you slowly take away his life as you’re sawing that pony in half, you are not conscious in what you’re doing it because you’ve blacked out because you find out that you’re not a fried chicken restaurant and that you’re really a black guy on the inside and not whatever you were before.
And so you start to hear screams of your victims while the shadow people from your bedroom tell you what to do it. And after you cut that pony in half, you take that half and stack it up on the third pony on top, and then boom, there you go, the average height of an American. Isn’t math fun? But anyways, from my perspective, he was tall, but yet… not tall enough to get that chick and bang her because we all know men need to be at the very seven feet even in height.
Only a few will accept midgets, which are basically under the seven foot mark in height. When I saw the samurai I looked up, and my eyes were a bit wide while looking at him. He didn’t feel like a giant, but he was somewhat over shadowing me a bit.
And as for the samurai, I could only imagine what he was thinking… oh wait… I can do that because of the portals. Well… sometimes that is… alright that was a lie, I can with the portals find out what they were thinking. It’s just that despite knowing others were thinking at the time, it is surprisingly uninteresting when you find out what their thoughts were at the time. But the samurai was thinking when he got off his horse and looked down to see me on the ground as I was a little pony and he was a tall anthropomorphic creature.
He was thinking in his stereotypical butchered American accent, ‘Hory shit! I’m off my fucking horse! I didn’t know I could do that! All my life, I was on this horse. I was born on this horse as my mother gave birth to me in the Asian wars of 1969! This is the first time I’m using my legs… it feels… like really weird. Was I always this short? Damn… Americans are bigger than me. But at least they don’t have my waifu… they better keep their dirty non-Japanese hands off of her damn it! But still though, it feels so weird.
‘And damn, that is one little pony. I thought I was just seeing things at first or it was because of that mushroom I found earlier on the train tracks. But he really is that small… are there other ponies? They look so cute and… small… and tasty… no… no no no, that was the old Asian me. I do not eat dogs and cats anymore. Oh but the ancestors tell me to do so, BUT I WON’T! No, instead I will eat the dolphin… when I find that fucking bastard.
‘That dolphin killed my parents! I still think that dolphin was part of the Chinese government, sent to spy on us Japanese Asians. Well, someday I’ll get that fucking dolphin. But still, that is a tasty looking pony. Maybe later I should draw tentacle porn of it to ease the tension to rid of my old habits. Yes, tentacle porn is good for the soul. Well, time to talk to the little talking pony that is in my head the secret of the Asian!’
That is what he was thinking at the time. Not very exciting, I know… trust me, my mind is waaaaaaay better than that. My mind has screaming shadow demons in it, bet that samurai can’t beat that huh?
Anyways, the samurai started walking towards me and I was still sitting on my pony ass. I had my ears fold back a little bit, but that was only being it was still a little bit jarring to see how tall he was compared to me. I mean, sure, he was not that tall, but still, you get the point. And as he walked towards me, as he walked in his Waraji’s… and yes, I know what that is.
It’s a Japanese thing, I saw it in a book once, but I’m still not a weeb though like those faggots are. Boom, anyways, since Waraji’s aren’t made out of anything too heavy, as well as the thing making his feet look weird, it didn’t make much noise. I do believe there was some gravel or a leave or two on the ground, and when he stepped on it, it made a little crackling sound, but for the most part it was purely silent. But I’m pretty sure it didn’t feel too good to walk in considering it didn’t look too tough. But eh, who cares, he was an Asian, he could handle anything, even MATH, but that was about it.
So he came to me in his “fancy” Waraji’s, while I just followed him with my pony eyes while sitting down on my pony as. As I didn’t move, eventually he took enough steps towards me that he stopped and then got on to one knee, his left knee I think. Or was that my left, but his right? Huh… but he then did that and as soon as he did he also placed his arm on the side with the knee still standing on to that knee while the other arm was sort of bent and used for some good ol’ fashion visual communication.
And since he was kneeling, he was just about eye level with me. Sadly, even when kneeling, he was still taller, but only by a little bit. So my head had to tilt a tiny bit upwards to look at him. It is almost comparable to a parent kneeling down to talk to their child almost.
Except the child is a pony and the parent is a samurai that is there to deliver a package that may or may not have magical abilities because he is an Asian. Anyways, he looked at me, or as much as an Asian could have looked at me because he still had his face pretty much covered with the face ask, so all I could see was his eyes In which case I suppose that’s all that matters.
You see, it wasn’t the eyes that mattered, rather the friends we made along the way… that we later sacrifice to god. Anyways, he moved his arm that wasn’t resting on his knee around while talking to me.
He said to me, “So… you want to know the secrets of the Asians do you?”
I then said to him with a straight forward face, “Yeah…”
The samurai went silent for a few seconds, but he then broke it and then looked deep into my eyes while pointing to me with the hand that was free and said, “You go first. And if what you tell is the truth, then I shall honor my side of the deal like an honorary samurai. It is a samurai’s promise.”
He had held up his free hand up, as a way of saying that he was telling the truth. And since his other hand was resting on his knee, it was believable and it wasn’t like he was going to double cross me or anything like that. But then again, Asians have that power to double cross in their minds… and making it count. But I believed him not that it was a big deal because who gives a shit?
So I then said to him, “Ok then, so what do you want to know?”
The samurai then looked both ways, almost as if he was really nervous as if any dead spirits were to find out about the little deal we had made together. Like he was really on edge, like it was a crime to know a secret of a non-Japanese. So he took a quick look both ways, and then he looked back to me and got a little bit close to my face.
He then had a little bit of wide eyes and then asked me, “Tell me non-Japanese, how do you non-Japanese use the three seashells?”
I was then a bit confused and taken a back a bit. Not in my physical appearance, just in my head. But my eyes did squint a little bit, mostly out of that kind of look that is between being tired, but also, “bitch, are you serious” kind of look.
That kind of look where you know you died a little on the inside, yet you give up on it along with all hope to resurrect it. I mean I’m pretty sure he was referencing the Demolition Man movie, but I decided quickly on the spot to just play along with it because if I broke it to him that it was just a movie, it would probably send him into a fit of rage.
So I then said to him, while still having my squint eyes look to him, “Why would you want to know that?”
Then the samurai took his face back out of a bit, gave me some personal space, and he moved his free arm a bit in the air a little high, and he said to me, “My people have heard of the three sea shells from your kind’s homeland and we have tried to figure it out ourselves. Yet every time we tried to replicate your magical three shells, we failed every time to find the purpose or use for it. My people believe it is used for your non-Japanese people’s magical abilities that you keep hidden. My people have struggled for years to find it. We have tried everything for years, but have yet to come close. So… since I have the opportunity to talk to you and exchange secrets, I want to know, how do you use the three sea shells? Take your time… no pressure…”
He was sort of quick at those last two statements. But for me, I had wide eyes, and just staring blankly at the samurai. It was mostly because he was asking the answer to a question that no one knows. And for other… obvious reasons.
But I then squinted at him a little bit and asked him to be sure, “Are you fucking with me right now?”
The samurai then said to me, “I’m serious.”
I then looked down a little bit, sort of bowed my head a little bit while still squinting my eyes, trying to think of a response to his question.
I then said quietly to myself, but I think he could hear me, “Huh… didn’t think I would hear about the three sea shells.”
The samurai then asked me, “Is there a problem?”
I then quickly shot up my head and said with a slight smile on my face, a little smile that looked like I was embarrassed, but really it was to keep my cool with the samurai.
I then said to the samurai, “Oh no, everything is fine. I’m just… trying to think of how to answer your question. It is a SACRED question after all.”
I then said the last part with a smile as I had moved my head towards him while still being in place.
I then looked at him while playing along and he then said to me, “I understand just please tell me straight out. I want to know the secret.”
I then said to him while rolling my eyes because I was having a hard time trying to come up with an answer, but to be fair, he would believe anything so I just said to him, “The answer to the age old question of how to use the three sea shells issssss….uhhh…you see…it’s all about being non-Japanese.”
While still having a play along smile on my face with wide eyes, I moved my head downwards a little bit with a combination of other movements, I guess that’s just the pony way.
Anyways, the samurai then said, while nodding his head, “Of course, of course. How could we have been so blind? Only the non-Japanese can use the three sea shells. But even so, please tell me how it is used, so I may tell my people how it is used at least. They have been wanting to know for years.”
I then said, while still having the play along smile on my face, “Weeeellll… you see. The way you use it is uhhh… is in two ways. But before you have to understand how to use it. You need to know the history of why the non-Japanese use the three sea shells first…”
I kept a smile on the whole time, and tried to make it look believable. I was trying to make it sound believable, but hey, it was a Japanese guy from Japan, anything is believable as long as there is a tentacle involved.
So after I had told him that, the samurai shook his head and said, “Oooooohhh… ok…”
So I then said to him, while somewhat moving my forearms around and making slight movements here and there, trying to spice up the explanation up a bit, “So the reason why we use the three sea shells is that because a long, long time ago, toilet paper didn’t work.”
The samurai then stopped me and asked, while moving his left hand around a bit, “But I thought everyone used toilet paper.”
I then had said to him, while still keeping my smile up, “Yes, but it stopped working for us uhhhh… non-Japanese.”
The samurai then said to me, “Ohhhh… I see… the toilet paper has turned on your kind. Continue.”
I then continued to say to him, “Yes… yes it did. Now, the thing is that our whole kind was in panic. We didn’t know what to do, but then a miracle happened when the magical flying oyster came from the heavens and gave us a solution, which was the three seashells of course. And from that point forward, toilet paper was then used as currency.”
The samurai then seemed a bit confused and asked me, “But I thought currency was a system of money in general use in a particular country?”
I then went silent while still keeping my smile, but really on the inside, I was dying a little and I had going a lot on in my mind, ‘Fucking… these Japanese are starting to get smarter every day.’
So I then broke that silence and then said to him, “Yes but uhhh…it was a secret, underground, black market kind of thing that we all agreed upon underneath the Denver International Airport. So, as for you use the three sea shells it’s uhh… uhhhhhhhhhh… uhhhh….”
I was honestly drawing a blank by that point. I didn’t know what to say next, so I had to improvise.
So I then said to him, “uhhhh… THE THREE SEASHELLS! You see… the reason why your kind couldn’t use it before is because you have the say the three magical words in order to grant three wishes, as all three sea shells represent the three wishes from a genie.”
As I was saying that, I had put my hooves together, squinted my eyes a little bit towards him… and then didn’t, while waving my fore arms around a little, again. I had to sell it to the samurai that what I was saying was real. What does it look like; I don’t know how to use the three sea shells. But uhh... rumors has it that is what the Australians do.
Anyways, I then continued to say to him, while still trying to sell the story to him, “And those three words are Swiggity, Swooty, I’m coming for that booty.”
However, the samurai then stopped me and he then said, “But… that’s seven words.”
I then said to him while getting a little close to him, “Ahh… but that’s why you can’t use the three sea shells because it’s non-Japanese math. Not yours…”
The samurai then said, “Ohhhhh… it all makes sense now. And then what?”
I then said, as I backed up a little bit, “And then, the three sea shells will come alive and they will each talk to you and grant you three wishes. However, those three wishes are limited, but that’s for your kind to find out and me to not say anything at all. And after you make your three wishes, they just fucking die and they get replaced as other magical seashells are forced to breed to make more.”
I believed I had convinced him, as he then said to me, “Ooohhh… I see… such sacred wisdom. But… what about the second way of using the three sea shells?”
He had shrugged his shoulders a bit there, as my smile quickly went away and a neutral look appeared n my face.
But then I quickly looked down, sort of had a look of worry but really I just quickly said to him, “Oh, uhhh, you just use two sea shells, wipe your ass with it in the bathroom with the third one being used to scratch your ass afterwards I guess.”
The samurai then quickly said to me, “Oh…”
And then I quickly said to him, “Yeah… that’s how it is with us non-Japanese.”
And then there was silence between us, and all you could hear was the nearby wind flowing by.
And then the silence was finally broken as the samurai then said to me, “Well… thank you for telling me your non-Japanese secrets. But may I ask one more? I do not believe me or any of my kind will ever get the chance to ask a question like these ever again.”
I then said to him with a neutral face, but with wide eyes, despite being a little bit hesitant to answer it, “Shoot.”
The samurai then asked me, “How do you bring all the boys to the yard?”
I then had to stop to think about the question for a second. It was a tough question to say the least, but then I decided that I knew the answer and was surprised that the Japs didn’t know about it.
But I then said to him, with the same neutral face from before, but this time my eyes were a little bit more relaxed, “By making milkshakes…”
The samurai just stared at me for a while in silence.
However, after a little bit of awkward silence between the two of us, along with the wind passing on by, he then asked me, “But we did make the milkshakes.”
I then had my face change back to a mellowed outlook and I then had said to him, “Well… It’s better than yours.”
I had tilted my head towards the side a bit when I answered that.
However, the samurai then asked me, “Could you teach me?”
I then said to him straight, “I have to charge you if I do.”
The samurai then said to me, “Shoot, I left my non-Japanese money at home. This has been a terrible day for me so far.”
I then said to him, “Well… cry me a river bitch.”
I had said it with a straight face, no angry tone or anything like that. However, after that, it was just a few more seconds of silence with the wind just passing on by… without a passport; TSA will get that wind one day. The wind did 9/11, change my mind. Well, after just standing there, awkwardly… staring at each other.
But the samurai then finally broke the silence once more and he then said to me while putting his left arm over his chest as he moved his head down a little bit while closing his eyes, “Well, I thank you and honor you for revealing your secrets to me and to my kind. And so, I shall hold up my end of the deal.”
He then put his left arm down and looked straight at me and said, “Come close, for the secret must be only said once.”
So, I then moved up closer towards him, but not too close because I didn’t swing that way. I didn’t have a change of a look on my face, it was still the neutral look, that mellowed look because honestly I didn’t give a fuck about the secret that much. But you know… the train tracks; it does weird things to your mind. I mean who knows, maybe this was all in my head and I was going insane and imagining things right before I was about to die or something.
Probably not though, but you get the point though. So, I moved up closer, and as I did, my head tilted upwards so I could see him while he was talking to me, because I wasn’t rude, I’m always a good christen boy. So after I had done so, he placed his left hand on my pony shoulder as I was sitting on my ass.
He then said to me, while I stayed quiet, “Listen closely my little pony, for I can only say this once to you. What I am about to say is breaking a sacred and honored code that all of my ancestors have followed for generations. So sit down and get conformable, as it will take some explaining.”
He then looked at me, but like I said, I stayed silent.
However, he then said to me, “Well… I shall tell you now. Long ago in what you call the land of the rising sun, our kind lived like yours did hundreds of years ago. We thrived by farming for rice and fished in the seas. We had emperors and shogun warriors. But there was something special that land that our ancestors landed on. Underneath our land was a dragon. But not any dragon, but a dragon with magical balls.
‘And his balls were big and filled with what is called magic juice. And one day, a little Japanese boy went playing in the caves and found the magical dragons with his magical balls and awoken it by mistake. At first, the dragon was furious we had woken it up from its slumber. We tried to fight back and kill it. But it was no match for us. We didn’t know what to do, we were all doomed. But then a wise old Japanese man who was said to be one hundred thirty years old came out of his little home and kindly asked the dragon with the magical balls to please stop. And the dragon agreed to do so.
‘And so the two talked it out peacefully and so the two talked it out and it turns out that this was the dragon’s home and we were invading it. It had been his home for millions of years, so seeing invaders was something he did not like. But after talking peacefully with the dragon, we came to an agreement. He would let us live on his land for exchange for peace and quiet… as well as all the rice and fish he could eat while he lazily slumbered in his home underneath our feet.
‘And so he did, and for hundreds of years we took care of him, showed him comfort and kept our promise. And in return, we were able to live on the land for generation after generation. And the old wise man was still alive to see it all through. But then came the day when the dragon arose from his home, and the old wise man noticed. The dragon wasn’t causing harm or havoc. He was just out, looking for the old wise man. So, the old wise man came down from his home in the mountains to speak with the dragon once more. And the old wise man asked if we had done anything wrong to anger him.
‘However, the dragon simply said no and he simply went there to give our kind another deal. He was getting old and was ready to move into the next life, another world he even said. However, he was the last of his kind, and his time was near. For millions of years, he did not have any friends, and we were his close friends for in such a long time. He even favored the old wise man in particular since he was nice enough to ask him what was wrong in the beginning. So, he made a deal with us.
‘We could receive the magic juice from his big magical balls along with the big magic balls themselves to use. In return, he wanted the old wise man to go with him to the afterlife. And so the old wise man agreed, especially after he found out what the big magical did, for they held magical properties. It’s one of the reasons why our kind is more technologically advanced compared to your kind. Granted, there was a bit of a dark age when one was on crack and thought about having a pacific empire, but like I said, he was on crack that one time and we still apologize for that.
‘We also still apologize for Dragon ball Evolution. We thought it was a good idea giving it to a non-Japanese but… we were wrong. Anyways, my kind didn’t want to see the old wise man go, but he insisted as it would give us a benefit for his people to live and thrive. And so, when the day came when the dragon died, so did the old wise man.
‘And odd to say, their bodies were never found, but the dragon did leave his big magical ball as he promised. There were four to be exact, and legend has it that there are four guardians that help protect from another world, but that is just legend. They even say it’s skeletons which I think is silly, but that’s beside the point. The four big magical balls gave us special abilities, but not for all. So only the samurai and the shogun received the magical abilities from the dragon’s big magical balls.
‘However, only a select few of the samurai and shogun are allowed to use the power of the dragon’s big magical balls. However, before our kind allows the select few use the power from the dragon’s big magical balls, they have to take an oath to never tell this secret to anyone outside of our kind… and that oath has not been broken in over five hundred years, until today of course. Of course I was one of the select few who have been chosen to wield the power of the dragon’s big magical balls and its juices.
‘For me personally, I was trained for years, especially after seeing the evil Chinese and their horrific actions against our kind. So in the end, I was trained pushed to my absolute limit. And when the day finally came to take the exam, I didn’t hold anything back and proved myself worthy to wield the power of the dragon’s magical balls.
‘And so I have fought off those Chinese chink mother fuckas from my kind’s homeland while also defending my village from many terrors of the night under the pale moonlight. I have fought tooth and nail, and showed no mercy to my opponents. But in the end I was assigned carrier duty and delivering packages to those who ordered internationally and so here I am. But of course you’re wondering what does the power has to do with me traveling through different universes and how I found you.”
The samurai then paused briefly for a moment and there was only a few seconds more of silence. While there was silence between the two of us, the samurai looked both ways very quickly; making sure no one was around to hear what he had to say to me next. Once he felt like the coast was clear, he then leaned in further and said close to my ear, as I simply turned my head around in response to him doing this, not much of a facial expression difference though I mind you.
He then continued to say to me, “There is a secret power hidden within the dragon’s big magical balls that not even our kind knows about. Only the select few who took the oath knows of it and we are only allowed to use it upon permission from the emperor himself. It was said when the dragon had left his cave, there was what seemed to be a portal.
‘A portal to what, some of us never knew for years until someone accidently stumbled across the secret. We don’t know how it works exactly, but we at least knows what it does, and that leads me to here, delivering your package after using the dragon’s big magical balls to also find your location and attained expressive permission from the emperor. So now you know of out sacred secret. I do hope you keep it a secret and tell no one else of what I have told you today. Do you promise?”
I just stared at him, with the same look that I was giving him by this point, and I just said to him, “Yeah…”
And so he took his left hand off of my pony shoulder and he then simply said to me, “Thank you non-Japanese. Today has been very educational for me, learning of your world while you have learned of mine. Now, I need one thing left of you… please sign right here for your package sir.”
He had quickly took out the package that he was meant to give to me, along with a little note pad thingy with a pen attached to it for me. Of course I had a little bit of a confuse look because… well… I didn’t have any hands. I still don’t because I am in pony form. But the thing is with ponies is that they can still do things… surprisingly.
So I looked at my package, which was a small rectangle sized box, wrapped up in brown, a little bit rough, paper. Obviously they were cheap when it came to the packaging, but hey, that’s what you get when you pay a buck fifty for shipping I guess. I’m not paying a buck fifty and one cent, are you fucking crazy? I wasn’t made out of that kind of money back then. I mean I wish I had that kind of money, I’d be rich, RICH I TELL YA, RICH!
But it is what it is I suppose. But anyways, I took the brown package, with both my hooves, while sitting on my pony ass or the hind legs I guess you could say. And truth be told, the packaging felt weird when touching with my pony hooves at the time.
It felt… weird. But then again, it was like two worlds coming together…but then again, that wasn’t the first. But, I had finally had the Gundam that I had forgotten about for years in my hands... or hooves… whatever.
So I held the package in both of my hooves, and sort of held it close to my face a little bit too. I even had a bit of wide eyes as well, but not because I was excited, but just because I didn’t expect to see that today. But then I quickly remembered that I still had to sign, so after I took a look at the package, I then put the package down a little bit and away from my face and looked at the samurai who was waiting for me to take the pad with the pen to sign for my long awaited package.
So I just simply fired up my trusty unicorn horn and my magic grabbed the pad along with the pen and I simply signed it as Ass Blaster 69 cause why not?
I even wrote it in that fancy cursive font as well. And after I had quickly finished with that, I then gave the samurai back his pad as he took it into the palm of his hands, and he then simply put it away in his little belt thingy. And after he did that, he went back to him having his right hand on his knee and let his left arms hanging on his side like he had once before.
And he just looked at me and said to me, “Thank you for your business. Amazon appreciates you choosing our service. We know that you have many options when choosing to get your package, but we thank you for choosing Amazon and our business in particular. Please rates your delivery and if you were satisfied with your delivery today, please rate us five stars.”
And then as this whole joke thing seemed to have been wrapping, the samurai was then interrupted, as a voice from nearby that neither the samurai or I noticed.
The voice yelled out, “INAZUMA! HOW DARE YOU BREAK YOUR OATH!”
We then quickly diverted our attention to see who it was, where the samurai simply got up from his kneeling position and back up high on to his own two feet.
And to our surprise, we saw another samurai, almost similar to the samurai, or by this point, I guess you could call him by his name, Inazuma, but whatever. But this other samurai was a bit more darker in terms of his looks. Pretty much like a hint of red, almost like TK’s colors. To me, it felt like he had came out of nowhere, like he was part of the fog and he was simply molded from it. But that was about it in terms of looks. Of course this samurai was also riding a horse that was of similar style to Inazuma’s horse as well, that was still standing nearby. He was also wearing a face mask as well and not that big ol’ mask that the samurai had on earlier. So, other than the looks, I had no clue what was going on. So I had a big confused look on my face as I was standing behind Inazuma and was wondering and was unsure what was happening.
So I sort of looked up at Inazuma, despite him not looking at me, how rude, and asked him, “So… do you know him or what? What’s going on here?”
Inazuma then just responded to me, as he kept looking onward towards the mysterious samurai that had just shown up from what seemed like out of nowhere. He said to me, “His name is Ikazuchi. He is my equal. We were competitive against each other back when we were training to become chosen by the emperor. And ever since, we have been rivals since then. But ever since I was put on carrier duty, he had been doing secret work for the emperor.”
However, Ikazuchi then said to us, “Sadly not anymore. I was sadly put on carrier duty as well after a little ‘mistake’ happened with the emperor a few years back. But that is besides the point Inazuma.”
Ikazuchi then pointed his finger towards Inazuma and said to him specifically, while I was sort of behind him, but also to the side a little bit, trying to make sense as to what was happening, “You have broken your oath Inazuma! I had thought you had honor and respect for your ancestors! But instead, you have dishonored them!”
I then interjected into the conversation but walking out in front of Inazuma while raising my right hoof in the air and said out loud, with a careful look on my face, “Uh…I don’t mean to interrupt your little talk here but uhhh… you said to where a carrier? Does this mean you’re here to deliver a package?”
Ikazuchi then said to me, “Yes, I am looking for the one named Ass Blaster69.”
I then said to him, “I’m him. This guy over here was here doing the same thing.”
I had pointed my right hoof towards Inazuma, and while I did so, Ikazuchi then took out a similar looking package from his side thingy and held it firmly in his hands. He then concentrated and swiftly threw it over to me. Thankfully though, I was able to catch it without a flinch as I had my head tilting upwards as I kind of stood on my back legs a little bit real quick, and I had my forearms wide open. And then I caught it with both my hooves, which still felt weird to me, but, it is what it is.
And once I had caught it, I went back down and sat down on my pony ass. I then opened the package, again, kind of weird knowing that I had hooves, but it kind of worked, somehow. Physics are kind of weird in the My Little Pony universe, let’s put it like that.
Anyways I tore open the packaging and quickly saw what the thing I had ordered those years ago. I said kind of low, sort of to myself, “Oh, it’s Go for a Punch that I ordered on Blu-Ray…eh…”
As I said eh, I had given a little shrug and threw it to side, mostly because I didn’t give a shit anymore. I mean who cares, yeah it was the only one they had in stock, but by that time, I couldn’t care less. Anyways, after I threw it to the side, I turned my attention back to the drama that was unfolding before my eyes. So back to what was happening.
Ikazuchi, who pretty much ignored my action of throwing the package he spent time on delivering to me, pointed towards Inazuma and said to him, “Now Inazuma, you have broken the oath and the code we swore to follow and to never break! You must now be punished for your actions, for you have brought shame upon yourself, and your ancestors!”
Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “Damn it Ikazuchi, I didn’t mean to break the oath!”
Ikazuchi, “Oh but you did Inazuma! You did mean to betray your kind! I always knew you were a fiend that would turn your back on us one day! I even told the emperor, too bad he was too blinded by his faith in you to see that I was right. But I guess I can’t blame him after what happened five years ago.”
Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “What happened five years ago was not my fault! You know that!?”
Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “Whatever you say traitor. Besides, it won’t matter much for too long.”
Inazuma then asked Ikazuchi, “What do you mean by that?”
Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “I mean the emperor’s days are numbered. He is too old and unwise to continue to follow and protect our kind’s secrets! We could be the power of the world, perhaps even the universe! All he has to do is use the Dragon’s big balls to do it, yet he sits blindly besides it, and rules with the likes of a weakling! Well, no more, for all of those that have taken the oath to protect the dragon’s big magical balls at will continue to fulfill that promise. And we are going to start with a coup against the emperor himself!”
Inazuma then said, “What!? No, this cannot be!”
I then said to myself, sort of quietly, while still sort of on the side, behind Inazuma, “I have no idea what’s going on, but this is starting to get intense.”
They ignored my comments, but by that point, I don’t think they had cared enough to even have noticed.
So Ikazuchi continued to say to Inazuma, “Oh but it is going to happen. It is time that we had new blood on the throne, and Makaze will see to it that he will bring our kind to the pinnacle of greatness and power.”
Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “You’re going to have him rule!? But he’s insane! He’ll lead our kind to the fires of hell instead propelling us towards the heavens! You cannot have him rule the throne!”
Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “Oh but it will happen Inazuma. In fact, as we speak, the coup is underway, perhaps even long been finished since we’re in a different universe. Who knows, perhaps fifty, maybe even a hundred years have already passed. All that has to be done is to find the four guardians that protect it. The sad thing is, we were willing to forgive you and your pitiful mistakes and offer you to join by our side as we take control and lead our kind to where it is meant to be. But now that I can see that you cannot be trusted, you will have to die as well.”
Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “You can’t be serious Ikazuchi! You can’t do this!”
As Inazuma was talking, he was moving his arms around, pretty much showing some non-verbal communication, some emotion while talking. It was kind of weird, but whatever.
Anyways, Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma as he was slowly pulling out his Kanata sword that was made of pure steel out from his scabbard and holding it from firmly from the handle, “It’s a shame really. I thought since we were rivals together on the battlefields, we could have been friends. We could have taken an entire army you and I, against the world! But it just disappoints me to see that you have done a dishonor to us all. Not only to yourself, or your ancestors, but to your entire kind. In my opinion, death is not enough for what you deserve. So consider this to be mercy.”
Inazuma just continued to stare on, with anger in his eyes.
He seemed to be determined to win the fight that seemed to have become inevitable, and so he turned his head and tried to look at me and he said to me, “Stand back, this will get messy.”
He had said it while putting his arm out outwards and trying to signal me to get back, and all I said in response was, “Ok.”
And so I took a few steps backwards and off the train tracks pretty much, and I sat on my pony ass to watch the fight. I tried to not to go back that far because the fog was still there, but I went back far enough not to get hurt from the fight. I mean, I didn’t know what the story was, yet, by that point, I didn’t care, I was going to see two samurai’s fight to death and I was tried and just wanted to get back to my library home in Stalia. Anyways, as I stood back, Inazuma continued to look at Ikazuchi, trying to have a little hope in his eyes.
Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “Please… don’t do this. I am sorry for giving away our secrets, but in return, I have gained knowledge of something else, and it felt good to trade information for once with others that is not of our own. Perhaps I am to be blamed for breaking the oath, but surely you cannot blame me for trying to have a heart and try to have something that our kind that has been searching for ages. And perhaps this is a sign that we just need to change. Not to get rid of our traditions, but to at least be open to others and new ideas, even if it is just a little bit.”
Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “Your words sound wise, but it is foolish in nature. The gods do not favor those that do not fend for themselves. So what is it going to be? Are you going to go down fighting, or are you going to go down a coward?”
Inazuma then said to himself, “Then so be it.”
Inazuma then looked towards over to his horse that was just standing on the sidelines and ran over towards it. He then went what felt like full speed and jumped up right before he would have hit the horse and leapt into the air. He didn’t go that high, and he simply just went high enough to jump on the saddle of his horse in style.
And as soon as he did, he quickly took his Kanata out of its scabbard and firmly took the sword by its handle. He only had it one hand as he had the other hand on his horse instead. He was confident to say the least. And even though the fog covered the sky and the night still reign the time, the katana sword could still been seen reflecting almost as if there was pure daylight outside.
Inazuma took the sword and held it close to his face, and took a close look to it and concentrated on it, thinking about his future actions and how he was going to fight with it. And then he slowly pushed it away from his eyes, and appeared to have been ready to fight with Ikazuchi.
And as soon as he was done, he looked towards Ikazuchi and said to him, “Just remember, I didn’t start this.”
Ikazuchi only replied to Inazuma with a low grunt noise, pretty much saying what he needed to say to Inazuma. And so, the fight began… finally! And it all started… silently.
The two didn’t move an inch. They sat on their horses, staring at each other as a slight wind had passed by. And they just stared each other down for a few minutes. Yet, despite no actions happening, it felt like the tensions were rising fast, and the anticipation of their swords clashing grew ever more slightly.
It almost looked like a classic ol’ spaghetti western showdown, right before the guns start go ablazing. If there ever was an orchestra playing at that moment, it would have only added to moment that was set before me at that time. And even though I didn’t know the full story, nor did I care, it was still a sight to see, even with the two of them staring at each other.
Both of their eyes were filled with fire and determination, ready to strike at one another and to see who was better than the other. Their muscles tightened, ready to move swiftly through the air and swing their swords with pure grace in the art of fighting as samurais do. Their hyper realistic horses, they just stood there, as they were just along for the ride. And they did what their riders told them to do as well, like a good loyal dog.
Some wind had passed as it passed through the horse’s tail and once the wind had passed, it only made the tensions rise even more. The wait was kind of killing me, waiting to see what fight was about to happen. And so the silence continued, and it went on and on and on. In a way, the silence spoke for the two of them.
No words, just silence and the two showing little resistance towards each other with just their eyes. So let’s ruin it with what they were thinking in their minds… hey, I have ability to do that with the portals, can’t pass an opportunity like that. But don’t worry, they didn’t think too much.
At the moment of their stare down, Inazuma was thinking in his mind, ‘I will not die here today. I just wish I didn’t have to do this and kill you where you stand Ikazuchi. We didn’t have to do this, but if this is how it must be, then so be it.’
And as for Ikazuchi, he said in his mind while staring down Inazuma, ‘By the time you die, it will very likely be that Makaze will have taken control. The coup is underway and our kind will be gods while the non-Japanese shall be like pests under us. This isn’t about power or control; this is about what we need to do to show our dominance, to show we are not weak like the others. Only if you could have understood that Inazuma, you were almost like a brother to me.’
And that’s all they thought, because they mostly were concentrating on each other for the most part while the silence had filled the air. And so, the silence continued to ring through the area, until they made their first moves on one another. And it started with a rush attack.
Both of them moved instantly, almost as if it was like a flash of lightning that had struck nearby. Each other of their horses went from 0 to the speed of the wind in a fraction of a second, almost as if they were the wind themselves. And as the two rode their horses quickly, both held their swords out, both being the opposite of each other, almost as if it was like a jousting competition.
And as the two passed by each other, they both each got one good hit on each other as they both striked each other’s armor with their swords made of steel and as sharp as a feline’s claws. It was so fast; you almost couldn’t tell that anything had happened. Only as if they had teleported to the other one’s spot.
And one would think that the armor would have protected them, especially with the two talking about magic and a dragon’s big magical balls. But after their first moves on each other, it only reminded you that they were still vulnerable as any mortal. As their Katina’s connected to one another, it had left its mark on the other, with some blood dripping in the middle of what was pretty much the arena for them. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t seem to have bothered them that much in the slightest.
If anything, it was only a flesh wound. Get it? Anyways, after they had sped by each other and tried to hit one another, perhaps trying to knock one another off of their trusty steed, the fight was far from being over. And it was clear that was the case as soon as they past each other, they stopped with little to no resistance, and they soon turned around their hyper realistic horses (trust me, the comparison is surreal) to face each other.
And so where Inazuma once stood when then taken by Ikazuchi. And where Ikazuchi once was at before the fight began, was then taken by Inazuma. And as they turned their hyper realistic horses around to face each other once more, their fire in their eyes to kill one another and win the fight was ever so bright. And so, there was silence once more. By this point, I couldn’t tell what was going on in their minds, even though the portals should have let me do so. But then again, they were magical Asian samurais with the power of a dragon’s big magical balls so they probably could think on a whole another dimension and reality or something to the point where I couldn’t pick it up.
So I can only assume what was going on within their minds. And perhaps that was their way with the power of the dragon’s big magical balls where they learned to think of another level. For Inazuma, all you could see was the determination to continue the fight. And the silence between him and his rival Ikazuchi was growing even more intense with an on the edge of your seat fight. The look on his face showed that he was looking around.
He was trying to contemplate what was happening at each and every second. He was trying to judge his next move, to see if it was the correct one or not it had seemed. And considering he had been hit by a sword a little bit,
clearly this was no walk through the park and he would have to be on his ‘A’ game if he had wanted to finish this fight alive. And so, the silence and somewhere within his mind that I could not see, although I’m sure the Jews could… they know guy a that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy probably that could help them read this level of mind reading. But whatever, Inazuma was in deep thought, planning his next move.
He wasn’t down though just yet, as he was still on his high hyper realistic horse after all. But for Ikazuchi, he didn’t seem like he was going to give up at any point. He seemed like he could have gone all night long. And for a moment, it felt like he was going to speak up and say something to Inazuma, yet never a word was spoken between the two during the fight. There was only silence and concentration on who was going to win the fight between the two.
And so, he just stood there, and he too stared towards his enemy in utter silence, with eyes of anger and recklessness. And the silence continued for a few minutes more, almost as if it was a sign of respect towards the other as well as playing fair so the other can have time to get together a game plan for themselves. And for all I knew at the time, it was their tradition ever since they gained the power of the dragon’s big balls. But, the silence went on and on. And then, the next move in their little game started to come to fruition.
Ikazuchi started to move his hyper realistic horse slowly, somewhat diagonally. He wasn’t moving it straight forward, but more or less it looked like he was heading towards the center of their little battle grounds, but he wasn’t heading for the center. Instead, he went towards the center but then started to veer to the right, at least from my point of view, so the best way to describe it was that he was going counter clockwise.
But at the same time, as Inazuma started to see Ikazuchi walk, he started his hyper realistic horse up and had him move just like Ikazuchi. But this time he was reflecting Ikazuchi’s actions and was also what seemed like heading towards the center of their fighting arena, and then he started to veer off towards the left. It was like a mirror of speak, a reflection of the other.
Almost deep enough for a fourteen year old to say ‘Wow, that’s pretty deep and speaks to me on so many levels. No one understands me and that’s why I cut myself because no one understands me and my self diagnosed depression. This speaks truth and volume on my Phone is bad. Society is bad. Technology is bad. I’m smarty and adult dummy.’
That’s as what the fourteen year olds say these… right? I don’t know, I don’t keep up with the trends. Is Teen Wolf still a thing back on Earth? What am I talking about, of course it is, just like Twilight, that shit sure isn’t outdated. Same like the Reply Girls too… yup… not outdated at all… unless it is… well, whenever you get this journal, I’m assuming it’s not outdated. But if it is… well damn.
Anyways, it was clear as to what was happening. The two were circling each other, counter clockwise, at least from the perspective that I saw it from. And it was that close to the center, but at the same time, it was somewhere in the middle, that between away between the center and the other regions of their fight area. Of course the center included parts of the train tracks, but still, that’s the best way to describe it.
And as they slowly had their hyper realistic horses walk in a counter clock wise circle, Inazuma and Ikazuchi just stared at each other from across the center of the battle ground. And it was the same look that they gave each other just like when they are staring at each other down in silence, but this time they were moving and moving their heads and following one another.
Yet there was no sign of the other just cheating and cutting across their made up circle to try and give an unsuspected blow to the other. Sure, it hadn’t been easy to do so but they seemed to have been respecting each other. And in their king, their armor, their swords, their hyper realistic horses, you could tell that this was tradition for them, and that this was their way of fighting.
Not too fast, but not too slow. Let each other have their moments of peace of mind, but have the rage of spreading death the next to the other one. And as the tension grew ever more, the sounds of the hyper realistic horses clopping with their hooves on the ground could be heard what felt like for miles as the sounds of their hooves echoed into the air and into the distance. It was something to see and something to hear.
Just watching the two stare each other down from a safe enough distance was suspenseful to watch. Sure, a little bit exciting, and a little bit confusing since the context seemed to have been lost in translation to me at the time, but yet at the same time, just the little bit of graceful fighting and the ever growing suspense between the two only ever sent shivers down my spine as the context didn’t matter. All that mattered was that the two put up a good, graceful, respectable fight in their own way.
What made it more a bit intense to add to the suspension of what would come next was that Inazuma was thrown off a bit by Ikazuchi’s actions. Ikazuchi had made the first move in the beginning, and before he made the first move, it had only looked like that Inazuma was thinking of something else. You could look into his eyes as he was deep in concentration, trying to think of another tactic, but it seemed to have been foiled with Ikazuchi’s first to make his move before Inazuma could ever make his first.
So when Inazuma started to move his horse, he did it out of hesitation, unsure of what was going to happen. His were filled with a bit of worry, almost as if he was losing confidence in his movements and actions, as life had thrown him a curve ball. But judging from his previous actions, at the time, I could only assume he would not have given up that easily.
And of course he didn’t, but I’m sure you figured that part out already by yourself. Even though Inazuma’s plans didn’t go according to plan, or life allowing him enough time to create a plan that is, he was winging it and using what he was given. And so the two continued to circle around each other in a somewhat big circle in the middle of their little battlefield, as they followed each other with their eyes.
And as a little time had passed, Inazuma’s confidence to win the fight against Ikazuchi was starting to come back to him. But then Ikazuchi then started to make the next move. It was clear he was in control here and that he had the upper hand on Inazuma, as the next move that was made that Ikazuchi started to speed up his movements. Without much as a slight hand signal while waving his Kanata in a certain motion, his hyper realistic horse got the cue to start moving faster slowly. And as soon as Inazuma saw this, his eyes started to feel with worry once more, and so he had to do something. So, he followed suit and he too started to speed up.
And as much as he had wanted to take control of the fight himself, he was not in a position to do so. He needed to plan out every move carefully, but while also within seconds. And time and fate was not on his side it had seemed that day for him. So all Inazuma did was follow the leader a little and started to pick up the pace.
And as the two hyper realistic horses started to gallop, along with remaining in a tight, perfect circle, the two samurai were getting ready for their swords to clash against each other at a moment’s notice. And as for me, I was still sitting on my pony ass, watching this whole thing go down.
I mean what else was I going to do? I mean I guess I could have moved along and went on my on the train track to get back to Stalia, but did it really mattered by this point? Probably… Well anyways, from my point of view, it seemed strange they were doing this, and when taking to account their heights, especially on their hyper realistic horses, they seemed like 7 foot, 8 foot, maybe 9 foot tall bois fighting each other.
But something started too happened as I had noticed while watching. There was a weird wind passing by. It was weird because as far as I could tell, there was no storm, nor any indication that there should have been wind at that time. Granted, I’m sure I was far enough outwards that the Pegasus had no control over the weather in this part of Equestria, but still.
The wind started to pick up as I could feel the cool breeze rush by me as my mane flowed a little bit. I mean, my mane wasn’t long or anything, but I could feel the hairs dance around a little, but it wasn’t strong enough it seemed, not even to blow away my black cowboy hat. But at the same time, it didn’t feel like the wind was even concentrated on me. Rather, the wind was being moved and controlled by an external force that was not of nature and that the wind was going somewhere else.
And soon before you knew it, I saw where that was starting to come from. And obviously it was coming from the two samurai’s more specifically Ikazuchi since he was the one who made the first move after all to started move his hyper realistic horse at higher speeds. But with that being said, the speed of the samurai started to pick up and their paces became faster and faster as I could feel the rush of the wind.
It seemed like it would be physically impossible, but combined with that fact that I was a human in a My Little Pony universe, filled with magical talking, Technicolor ponies, while also interacting and watching with two samurai fight while they talk about a dragon’s big magical balls and the power those big, magical balls holds, I don’t think any of that had mattered. And so, the two warriors were basically having their hyper realistic horses running at full speeds, all around in circles as the winds started to really pick up, almost fast enough for a small sized, less serious tornado to be formed it the temperatures were just right.
But what surprised me even more was that they started to become even faster than, as soon in a few seconds, I couldn’t see the two warriors anymore. But you know… thinking with portals here. So while I couldn’t see them anymore, and instead was what appeared to be a vortex made out of pure wind and energy that was the same size with the two samurai circle when they were moving around each other.
But on the inside, especially with the portals in the future, if you catch my drift… they were pretty much circling each other at very high speeds, something that I don’t even think the human eye or the pony eye could even see. But my guess was that it was all about that dragon’s big magical balls doing all the magic behind their fast speed, as their eyes lit up a little bit. Granted, it was subtle, nothing too noticeable, you can almost miss it if you don’t catch it. I almost didn’t see it the first time myself, but whatever. And as the two were circling each other, they were both holding out their swords, as far as outwards as they could and ready to strike when ready.
And as their hyper realistic horses were galloping as fast as the winds, they were still obeying some laws of physics from their own universe, oddly enough as that is to say that is, as they were running in a circle, their bodies were tipped to a certain angle, as it is when going at high speeds in a circle on a structure like a horse or a bike. But yet, the samurai’s kept their balance and were in perfect harmony with their hyper realistic horses.
And as they were riding the winds and its energy, both Inazuma and Ikazuchi were staring at each other in their eyes. And despite not saying a single word to each other, you could tell they were still communicating with just their eye expressions. You could say the conversation went something like this with just by them looking at each other in their eyes, if one would have to guess that is.
Ikazuchi could have been hypothetically was saying to Inazuma, “I’ll give you one chance to give up now! If you do, you will not die, but instead be taken alive as a prisoner for being a traitor to your own kind! And maybe you’ll see even redemption in your life if you’re worthy enough to be forgiven for your sins.”
And then Inazuma could have been hypothetically saying to Ikazuchi, “No, it is you that is the traitor! You are the one who is overthrowing the emperor, our emperor that we were sworn to protect along with our own kind from any dangers from the outside world!”
And then Ikazuchi could have been saying to Inazuma, “You are so blinded by your own loyalty that you have forgotten what honor even means.”
And then I have no fucking clue, I’m just guessing what might have been going through their heads at the time, For all I know, they could have been thinking about how sexy that one octopus they saw as a child that one time… and all the dirty, disgusting things they could have done to it. There’s no shame in experimenting behind closed doors.
Even if it is with octopuses. But whatever, the samurai were still staring each other down while moving at high speeds in what was basically a wind vortex, so I couldn’t see them at the time, so all I got to see was a wall of grey wind in my face, while the wind blew past me while sitting on my pony ass, probably playing with my peter popper. But on the inside of the vortex, the two warriors were ready to make their next move.
And all the while the wind vortex stayed up, high and strong, the two broke their circling of each other finally and made their hyper realistic horses make a sharp turn towards the center of the vortex as both of them came rushing at each other like warriors with a death wish. And just as the same as before, they ran pass each in a flash, with both of their swords clashing each other, metal hitting metal, with the sound of it ringing through the air.
But as soon as they reached the other side, they didn’t stop, as the fight kept moving. The adrenaline kept moving and the blood kept pumping, they weren’t taking their time. So as soon as both of them reached the other side, they immediately had their hyper realistic horses make a sharp turn and back towards the center of the vortex. And so they repeated the process again, where the rushed each other as fast as lightning as their Katina’s collided with one another across the battlefield, as the sound echoed through the vortex and into the air.
And as soon as they reached the other side once again, they made another sharp turn and repeated the sequence one more time. And so, they made an abrupt turn, made their hyper realistic horses run towards the center with their sword out and ready to fight once more. And so the swords hit each other, as the sound of metal striking reverberated in the area. And so, one would think they would keep the same process of rushing and hitting each other’s sword until one gave up.
But with Ikazuchi, he did not have the patience to wait that long. So while Inazuma assumed it was going to be the same song and dance as before, Ikazuchi went back into running half a circle as quickly as he could, while Inazuma mistakenly made a sharp turn and went back towards the center. But with the few precious seconds this took, with not enough time to act and to change course of direction, Ikazuchi was fast enough to make it halfway around the circle, make a sharp turn to go through the center, and as Inazuma was rushing through the middle, Ikazuchi was quick enough to be right in the front of Inazuma’s hyper realistic horse, swiftly take out his sword in preparation, and swing to make a hit.
But he wasn’t aiming for Inazuma, rather his horse. More specifically, Ikazuchi was aiming for Inazuma’s hyper realistic horse’s head. And as the Katina was forged with the dragon’s big magic balls, it had cut through the hyper realistic horse’s head like butter.
And in the few seconds this had occurred, Inazuma didn’t see this coming and was unfortunate enough to not have enough time to act. And so, to give a better idea of how it was, Ikazuchi’s hyper realistic horse was just in front of Inazuma’s hyper realistic horse, at the right position to where he could take out his sword swiftly and cut off the horse’s head off like it was paper.
And since it was perpendicular with how it was all set out, Inazuma had to make the split second decision of ejecting off the horse or else be crushed by its weight or being throw off of the saddle like a ragdoll. And so Inazuma leapt off almost as if he was expecting this to happen to them during the fight. And as he leapt, he was a little bit higher in the air than he was the previous time when getting on to his hyper realistic horse.
But this time, he was high enough to do a little back flip or two very quickly. And he did so successfully, without failure or a mess up. And as he landed fifteen feet in front of him, roughly anyways that is, he stuck the landing, as Ikazuchi continued to ride off. All the while the wind vortex died down almost immediately, while Ikazuchi’s hyper realistic horses started to slow down almost right then and there.
This is all happened within a span of a few seconds. It sounds like a lot to happen within such a short amount of time, but then again life sometimes throws a lot of you at one time, and I suppose even with samurai with a dragon’s big magical balls, they can’t escape what gets thrown at them either. And so, Inazuma was standing there, without his hyper realistic horse.
Pretty much in a sense, he was up shit’s creek without a paddle. Yet, that didn’t stop him. If anything, it only bothered him for a few seconds, as I saw it in his eyes since he did land right in front of me when this all happened. He still had his sword along with whatever that was attached to his armor, but that was all that remained.
He was standing there in front of me, granted a few feet away from me, but still, as he was standing straight up, as his human body towered over my little pony body. Well, by comparison, but from my view, he wasn’t all too tall, perspective thing going on there at the time. But his head continued to hang low despite him standing high and strong still, as he firmly held his Katina sword in his right hand.
As for Ikazuchi, he went back to being patient with Inazuma, almost giving him a second to recover, as he went a bit outwards with his hyper realistic horse and turned it around to stare at Inazuma’s back. He didn’t look to be in a rush to kill him, instead it seemed they were honoring each other’s Japanese ways and giving each other a chance to recovery so they can get back up and fight. It seemed the only way out would be to die fighting, instead of one of them just standing there, ripe for the kill.
So, Ikazuchi just waited for Inazuma to be ready once more to fight him. As for Inazuma, he stood there, his head hanging low, and while he seemed a little shocked and worried as soon as his hyper realistic horse died, just one look at his eyes and his body language told a different story. He was not happy, instead he was more than determined to finish the fight and get on with his life. And this went on for almost a minute as the wind blew past us and the silence filled the air.
And then, just slightly, Inazuma turned his head around to see his dead hyper realistic horse collapsed and decaying on the ground. It honestly kind of looked weird to see a dead hyper realistic horse on the ground, especially when it had no head at all. But to Inazuma, as he was looking over at his horse, he didn’t say a word. He just looked back in anguish and despair. One can only assume what was going in his head, and the portals can’t help me out on this one, my only guess was that hyper realistic horse was with him for a good long time.
Perhaps it was his friend, perhaps even family maybe to him. The hyper realistic horse had served him well and assisted him in many battles throughout his lifetime, perhaps without the hyper realistic horse; he could have died in a few situations. And while there was probably only a few more years on that hyper realistic horse of his, that time was cut short by Ikazuchi. And now the hyper realistic horse lay there dead, rotting away with a smell that was rancid and was radiating from the corpse.
He looked kind of sad in a way, like he lost someone really close to him. That hyper realistic horse was once alive and breathing, probably apart of Inazuma’s life, and now it’s gone, and it wasn’t going to come back to life. And all Inazuma did was look back towards Ikazuchi who was waiting for him to ready for their battle to continue. Ikazuchi just looked at Inazuma, with eyes of death; almost as if he was the Grim Reaper waiting to take Inazuma away as his time had come. And just looking at Inazuma’s eyes, he just had a fire burning in him, a fire that begged to be free and for him to continue to the very end.
And so he slowly turned his back towards me, but not looking at, me and continued to hang his head low. And from there, he continued to think, more than likely he was thinking of his next move to make. So there was only silence again for another minute. And as for me, I was just staring at the two, waiting for the fight to continue, but my mind was starting to wonder off and got bored and honestly I don’t even know what I was thinking.
Sure I can look back, but whenever I do, I don’t know what to say. So with Inazuma, after about a minute of passing, his head came back up with eyes filled with courage and might. And then he brought his right hand forward with his Katina in the upright position slowly, while also slowly bringing his left hand forward and firmly grasping the sword with his two hands. And so, the sword was upright, with the edge staring down Inazuma’s face.
But once he had done that, he was in his mind, preparing for his next move to make against Ikazuchi. And then he turned around, with the Katina still upright, towards Ikazuchi, who sat upon his hyper realistic horse calmly. But once he saw Inazuma was ready to continue, he seemed to have been pleased as he seemed to have been getting annoyed with the pure silence.
It just seemed just by looking at him that he lived for the fights, and while he was obligated to honor his kind, he just wanted to slice and dice. And out of the blue almost, two voices in the background started commentating as Inazuma and Ikazuchi had another stare down, with the two voices being Ben and Tom.
Ben said, “It looks like a beautiful day for a good ol’ fight, isn’t that right Tom?”
And Tom said to Ben in a fancy commentator’s voice, “You’re sure right there Ben. Clear skies with no weather to ruin today’s fight. Now Ben, who do you think is going to win today’s fight?”
And then Ben said to Tom, in a charming commentator’s voice, “I don’t know Tom. It seems to be a close one. In the beginning, it seemed that it was an easy match. With all of Inazuma’s training, he surely should have won within the first three minutes of the fight.”
Tom then said to Ben, “I agree there Ben. Inazuma was messing up almost every time. It almost looks like he was an amateur.”
And then Ben said to Tom, “It does not make a good look for him. If he wants to win this or at least walk away alive, he needs to step up his game because he isn’t going to win anyone over with that strategy.”
Tom then said to Ben, “Now, Ikazuchi is supposed to be a longtime rival to Inazuma right?”
Ben then said to Tom, “That’s correct Tom.”
So Tom then said to Ben, “So how come he couldn’t predict his moves when he turned around his hyper realistic horse around and gave him the slip? Surely he should have seen that coming after the two were going at it with the same moves three times in a row. Being that slow to react and predicting the same move for the fourth time in a row cost him his hyper realistic horse and that is going to cost him later in the fight. Unless he can even out the playing field soon, Ikazuchi is going to go home the winner and Inazuma is going to lose with embarrassment!”
Ben then said to Tom, “You’re right there Tom! But there is still a chance for him to redeem himself if he can pull a miracle. Just like how I beat my wife last night after she burned my steak. But I gave her a second chance to redeem herself, and after me threatening her with to fill her body full with lead if she didn’t do it right. And she did, so surely the same can happen to Inazuma here.”
And then the two voices stopped for a moment, while the stare down continued. And of course with just the two just looking at each other funny, waiting for the intensity to rise and making it kind of looked cool in the process like some old forgotten spaghetti western from the 50’s. But then, a move that almost felt like that came out of nowhere that came from Ikazuchi.
He closed his eyes for a few seconds and almost looked like he was mediating in peace for a few seconds. He looked like he was blocking everything around him, even the silence and probably within his body and mind, concentrated on being somewhere else that was nowhere near the train track in Equestria, which is weird to begin with in a sense. But after a few seconds had passed, his body started to glow a hint of a red color, fully surrounding his body.
And soon, Ikazuchi arched his back a little bit with pulling his arms back with his head tilted upwards towards the sky and his eyes closed as he yelled out in anguish, as a red aurora surrounded him. And after he screamed for a few seconds out into the night sky, and technically the fog I guess, he went back to being silent and back to his normal position almost as if that hadn’t happen, with the only difference being this time that he had a red glow around him.
And this seemed to indicate without a single word, with even Inazuma knowing what had happened, was that Ikazuchi used the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and used it to his advantage. Even his sword was infected with the red glow, and just looking at him, he seemed to have been powered up, ready to end the fight with one final strike towards Inazuma. And just by looking at Inazuma’s eyes, they went wide with shock.
He didn’t seem to anticipate that move to happen, and he seemed a little scared. But then his eyes went back to normal, and was seemed to be ready to move whenever Ikazuchi started to move it had seemed. And then the two commentator voices came back.
Ben said to Tom, “Well would you look at that, it looks like Inazuma is done and out of the game with this one. He might as well call it quits here folks.”
Tom then said to Ben, “Sure is, I feel bad for anyone that made a bet that Inazuma would win this fight. Ikazuchi was thought to be the underdog in this situation, but it appears to be the opposite. Fans I’m sure of Ikazuchi are cheering at home, just waiting for the fight to end.”
Ben then said to Tom, “I’m sure they are. And for the folks at home that are just tuning in, Ikazuchi just used a rare, but powerful move in the game where he concentrated in his mind and contacted the spirit of the Dragon’s big magical balls to come to his aid and give him strength. This pretty much means he can, for a limited time, kill Inazuma with just one hit, even if he had armor made of diamond.”
Tom then said to Ben, “Yes, but this will cost him in the next game though since he won’t be able to use the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls for a good long while. In fact, he might not be able to use it ever again! All we can do is wait and see what happens to Ikazuchi in the near future and how he handles this fight today. Because despite all that power of his, one wrong slip, and he’s done, evening the playing field for the both of them.”
Ben then said to Tom, “But the question is can he do it Tom!? Can he pull it off and end the fight early? The guardians of the Dragon’s big magical balls don’t take this use of power lightly, and if he messes up, it might not be Inazuma who ends up killing him.”
Tom then said to Ben, “All I have to say is Ben that, as well as everyone at home, that we’re on the edge of our seats here.”
Ben then sad to Tom, “Say Tom, how do we know all of this anyways to begin with? The guardians haven’t even awakened in over a three thousand years.”
Tom then said to Ben, “I don’t know Ben; we’re just voices in a Technicolor talking pony’s head, coming out of his hooves!”
I was sitting on my pony ass, holding both of my hooves up near my face as I was doing both of the voices. And then I stopped with one of my eyes twitching a little bit as I then proceeded to repress the memory that I ever did that. What did I just write down? Oh right, the two were ready to fight and continue their battle to the death. So with that being said, after what felt like a good long while of just silence and nothing happening between the two of them, they had finally stopped their little stare down at each other and got on with the fight.
With Ikazuchi, he glowed a red aurora, ready to end the fight with one more blow with his sword, Inazuma was looking to cooking something up while the long period of silence during the stare down occurred.
And soon before you know it, Ikazuchi actually spoke up for the first time during the battle and asked Inazuma, “Any last words?”
And as for Inazuma’s response… was nothing. He only continued to stare on with a look of rage in his eyes towards Ikazuchi.
And all Ikazuchi said to Inazuma before he moved was, “Hmm… silence being your last words? A wise choice. NOW DIE!”
And then he was off like a Mexican on jumping beans as his hyper realistic horse took off while Ikazuchi yelled his battle cry as he charged towards Inazuma. As for Inazuma, he just stood there, sword firmly in both of his hands, concentrating on his opponent. And within a few seconds, it seemed like Ikazuchi was going to win and cut Inazuma in half as he raised his word as the red aurora surrounded it, implying it held great power and glory to behold.
As Ikazuchi was ready to deal the final blow, Inazuma continued to stand there, and was ready to make his move on Ikazuchi. And once Ikazuchi was just about to kill Inazuma within a fraction of a second, Inazuma swiftly, almost as if it was faster than the speed of light, slightly stepped to the side, raised his sword, and speedily cut off the head of Ikazuchi’s hyper realistic horse. An eye for an eye.
And unlike Inazuma, who was able to land on his two feet within the fall of his horse, Ikazuchi didn’t see Inazuma’s move coming and was thrown for a loop as his headless hyper realistic horse started to lose its balance. As his hyper realistic horse was being forced down by gravity, Ikazuchi tried to leap off of it like how Inazuma did it when his hyper realistic horse was beheaded, but instead Ikazuchi only managed to attempt to roll, but just fell on the ground instead.
You’d think that would mean Ikazuchi was now the one outmatched and that all Inazuma had to do was kill Ikazuchi while he was still down. But like anything in life, it’s never the end that quick and shit drags on like… how almost everything does. Why do I hear cricket noises all of a sudden… never mind, it might just be in my head.
Anyways, as soon as Ikazuchi fell flat on his face on the ground, he got up twice as fast. He knew he had failed, and without having the higher ground with his hyper realistic horse by his side to ride on, the playing field was now even. And all Inazuma did was look at him, returning the favor that Ikazuchi gave to him and awaited for Ikazuchi to get up so they could continue their brawl with one another.
And so Ikazuchi got up, although he didn’t do it perfectly as he stumbled a little bit. But as soon as he caught his balance, he proceeded to hold on firmly to his sword, since just like Inazuma, he still had his sword despite his sudden fall. But he seemed to have not like being even with Inazuma.
He had the upper hand on him just a few moments ago, he could have killed him right then and there and he almost had him, but just like how he did it to Inazuma earlier, Inazuma pulled a quick one on him, and he wasn’t quite sure where to do and go from there.
Inazuma just continued to stand his ground and keep his distance as he carried on with his calmness. So Ikazuchi looked around him, and to his ‘surprise’, nothing had changed other than there were now two dead, headless hyper realistic horses that were rotting away.
That and of course he saw me real quick, which I was just sitting on my little pony ass, watching the fight unfold before my very eyes, despite not really having anything to do with it other than being there at the right time and place for it. But still, nothing had changed, just still surrounded by the same fog that they brought with them when they entered.
And so, as soon as Ikazuchi took one good, swift look at his surroundings, the muscles in his arms started to loosen up and he seemed more relaxed. Although he continued to hold up his sword almost as if he was going to still fight, just more relaxed. And before he did anything else, he took one last look at his hyper realistic horse. He looked at it like how Inazuma did when he lost his hyper realistic horse.
Yet at the same time, it didn’t feel like he had the same passion for nature, at least from his universe, and what it gave him. Inazuma must have been sad because the hyper realistic horse severed him well and didn’t take advantage of it. With Ikazuchi, while disappointed his hyper realistic horse was killed and was a little sad to see it go, it looked like just by looking into his eyes that he didn’t care all that much. For the most part, he just seemed to care more about surviving and getting the one up on Inazuma instead.
So, Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “You’d think you might have won old friend, but believe me, you have lost this fight.”
And then Ikazuchi, assumingly, used the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and started to blend into the fog as he took a few steps backwards. And from looking back on it, it didn’t appear that the fog enveloped Ikazuchi, rather he blended into the fog himself, like turning invisible with a little bit of that Dragon’s big magical ball power that he was using before.
And as he did, Inazuma was almost quick to react by attacking, but as soon as he saw Ikazuchi mixed into the fog and he couldn’t see him anymore, he stopped himself in mid action very quickly. And all that was left to Inazuma was his own five senses, maybe six if that was still a thing, to try and weed out Ikazuchi from the fog.
As for me, I just continued to sit there, was sort of the edge of my seat as it was starting to get really intense. It was a game of cat and mouse by this point. And so, with no clue as to where Ikazuchi had gone to, Inazuma looked towards my general direction, with the implication that he was looking towards me if I had seen where Ikazuchi went to.
But instead I gave a little shrug with my pony shoulders as Inazuma waited for my response after a few seconds. And with that, Inazuma seemed to be a bit worried once more, not knowing where his enemy was hiding at and what Ikazuchi could have been planning to do against him. It seemed to scare him a little bit, but really what it all came down to was that Inazuma had to just become extra aware and pay attention to just the sounds around as soon as he was done looking towards my general direction, I guess, a loud noise came from behind him.
And so Inazuma immediately turned around to look behind him, with his sword held by both of his hands with a firm grasp, ready to strike at a moment’s notice. And so as soon as he turned around to where the noise came from, there was nothing to be seen, almost as if it was his imagination. But of course, it only had came from the fog, so it only made Inazuma on his high alert even more, as he was shifting his eyes around constantly and frequently, trying to pay attention to where Ikazuchi could possibly come out from at any second.
And as Inazuma was surveying the area around him, he slowly started to turn around, slowly turning around as he was doing so, trying to keep an eye on things and to make sure Ikazuchi didn’t get him from behind. And in a weird way, there was a low humming sound coming from the fog with certain areas being slightly higher than others. The best way to describe would be like 4D… maybe 9D audio if you were there or had a pair of headphones if you could listen to the noises and the humming. But it was sure putting Inazuma on his tippy toes, that was for sure.
And as he was walking around and the sound slowly going around him, from the fog of course, there was a loud growl coming from behind Inazuma, and as soon as he heard that sound, he turned around swiftly to see what it was. But once again, it as a trick. Yet, the sound of a loud growling noise felt real when I heard it.
It felt like it was coming from a loud, oversized beast that could only come from myths and legends that you would only hear in fairytales. It sounded like it would have come from a rancid creature with teeth sharp as knives and a hunger for blood just like a lion on the hunt for meat to eat. But after the growling sound came, it went absolutely nowhere, but that didn’t stop from Inazuma from being paranoid as he continued to slowly walk around and turning three hundred and sixty degrees, trying to make sure nothing else was going to come up behind him.
And after a few seconds of the humming sound returning with its little peaks every now and then, another loud came in from behind where Inazuma was standing, this time it was the sound of what sounded like a wolf. More specifically an Alpha wolf, the kind that doesn’t fuck around and would be able to kill Liam Nesson kind of Alpha.
Yeah, it sounded like the real shit. Anyways, Inazuma, of course turned around as soon as he heard the noise from the wolf. And as he did so, the wolf’s howl echoed through the fog and felt like it was near, yet from a far. And it didn’t sound like one of those soy wolf howls either, but instead of the more dominate kind. The kind where you hear it and you know that you’re going to do die. But of course, it was only a ruse as there was nothing emerging from the fog.
By this point, I’m sure Inazuma figured it out that it was just Ikazuchi using the power from the Dragon’s big magical balls to mess with his mind, and perhaps to try and push him off balance so he could get the jump on him possibly. Yet Inazuma didn’t look like he was going to give up that easily. It was just another hurdle that he had to get over just like anything else that life had thrown at him in the past few minutes from having to fight his rival to having his beloved hyper realistic horse’s head being chopped off.
And so, as before, Inazuma continued to walk around slowly, while slowly turning around, trying to see if he could make Ikazuchi out in the fog, and see where he was hiding at so he could end this little charade that was happening before him. Yet, Ikazuchi might have been good at playing cat and mouse as Inazuma seemed to have been struggle with trying to find him through the fog, even with his kind being of the Japanese type.
They see in widescreen for a reason after all, but even so, their slant eyed vision still failed poor old Inazuma, and it seemed like he was going to fail. And right when you thought those two voice commentators was going to come back up and talk about the events that were happening, another noise came from behind again, Inazuma. This time the sound was a loud, ear piercing scream, like if it had came from the undead or something of the like.
And of course, Inazuma turned around as soon as he had heard it as to make sure it wasn’t anything coming towards him. Of course there was nothing, but a loud moaning sound that also sounded like it came from a zombie came from the same direction, but it was that haunting kind of moaning that puts a little scare in you when you try to sleep at night and you can’t go to sleep because your brain is keeping you up, making you think of things that you don’t want to think of, but it does anyway.
And then you realize that’s a thing you didn’t want to think of and it keeps you up at night. And by this point, Inazuma, just by looking in his eyes, he was scared too as his eyes were wide. He seemed like he was afraid that he was going to be take and killed right then and there, yet he stood his ground and was a ready for any kind of fight. But it did seem to weird and a bit scary with the noises coming from the fog. But after a few seconds had pass from the moaning from what sounded like came from the undead, an actual voice came up, and of course it was Ikazuchi.
Ikazuchi said to Inazuma somewhere from the fog, “Ha ha ha ha… you were always easy to deceive Inazuma, even when we were young and in training. Always submitting to the delusions of the mind. Yet I have to admit, I admire your strength. Should have given up and accepted your death like how others would have in your position. But you didn’t, and that’s what I liked about you Inazuma. That’s why I would have offered you a chance to be by our side when we take back our homeland. But you refused… and you won’t be coming out of this fight alive. This is one battle you will not Inazuma. NOW PERISH!”
As Ikazuchi was talking to him, Inazuma was frantically turning around, trying to find the direction of where Ikazuchi was talking from. He was struggling trying to find the source of where he was talking from, but after about halfway through Ikazuchi’s little conversation, he founded it, and it was only about ninety degrees to his right from the original direction he was facing at.
And once he did, he just stared in that direction, trying to be prepared or whatever was thrown at him. And quite literally too as soon as Ikazuchi was done talking, from out of nowhere from the fog, out came three shuriken were thrown at him, more specifically a four pointed one with a bit of a curve to it. The Japs would know the proper name to it, don’t you Japs? Yeah… you do… all the slant eyed ones do.
At least last time I checked. Anyways, of course, the throwing stars were thrown at one of time, but still in a quick fashion. The first shuriken that Ikazuchi threw came fast out of nowhere, and of course Inazuma sort of hit by it a little bit as it scraped his armor, somewhat harshly surprisingly, as it flew past Inazuma at what felt like light speed.
Of course, it only made Inazuma prepared for the next one. And as soon as the first went past Inazuma, Ikazuchi quickly threw the second throwing star towards Inazuma, but Inazuma just dogged it quickly, and this time without hitting him. And as soon as that one went past him, Ikazuchi threw the final one towards Inazuma, but once more, Inazuma moved to the left, dodging it without much of a fuss.
Really, the move that Ikazuchi pulled was a weak one, but I suppose to him it was only a tease since Ikazuchi could still not be seen as he was still concealed by the fog surrounding Inazuma. But as the three shuriken was thrown, the fog somewhat lifted, at least around Ikazuchi’s position that is. In other words, the fog was still there, but as to where Ikazuchi was hiding started to dissipate. But it seemed intentional as it was only that particular section only, and it seemed to have been done on purpose by Ikazuchi, especially judging from the look in his eyes as it was glowing a little bit red with the red aurora still surrounding Ikazuchi.
It was pretty much saying that he was using the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls to manipulate the fog a little bit along with possibly making the sounds to mess with Inazuma’s head. And of course, Inazuma seemed to have been satisfied to finally see his enemy instead of trying to play cat and mouse with him. However, the only catch was that he was standing on top of a branch in a nearby tree that was by the tracks. I don’t recall it being there, but then again it probably was; I just wasn’t paying any attention to it.
But I’ll let you be the judge of that. And of course as Ikazuchi was standing high and mighty on the tree branch, which seemed to be sturdy and strong to hold his weight, Inazuma looked a little pissed off, especially since this meant that Ikazuchi had the high ground once more and Inazuma was back to having nothing. And it didn’t please Inazuma any more than how he was now.
And to rub salt into the wound, Ikazuchi said to Inazuma as he held his arms crossed and looking down on Inazuma with what I would assume a grin on his face if you could see it, while still holding his sword I mind you in hand, “Face it Inazuma. This is where you die. This is where you will be thrown to the wolves and disposed of. This is where you defy your ancestors. This is where you break your oath. This is where you betray your own kind. This is where you are exiled from our homelands. You are nothing but a sad character Inazuma, you could have been something, but instead, you are no better than the others. For shame Inazuma.”
Of course this tipped off Inazuma, mostly because he was starting to egg on Inazuma’s nerves with his all of his pointless talking and calling him names.
But mostly, it was the annoyance that he was saying, and it drove Inazuma to the point where he closed his eyes, raised both of his arms up high, as he yelled at the top of his lungs, “THAAAAAT’S ENNNOOOOUUUGHHH!!!”
And he said that all the while a light blue aurora surrounded him with a light blue glow filed his eyes, pretty much saying that he too was harnessing the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls. Them Asians likes their dragon’s big balls. So really it’s not a surprise that he used it. However, it is interesting to note that Inazuma didn’t use the powers up until now, but considering their secrecy and shit like that, it was probably something I couldn’t understand about the dragon’s big magical balls.
Anyways, Inazuma was all fired up and was filled with rage and looked like he was ready to really put up a fight. And so, after he yelled as loud as he could, he started to immediately run towards Ikazuchi with all of his might as he sped very quickly towards the tree.
But since he was using the power of the dragon’s big magical balls, he easily, almost as if we were on the moon, jumped up high into the air as soon as he came close enough to the tree. But he didn’t just jump what felt like fifty feet into the air, towards the nearby tree where Ikazuchi was standing on the nearby tree. For Ikazuchi, while Inazuma was running towards him, he didn’t move a muscle and continued to have his arms crossed, while still holding his trusty sword firmly in his hands.
However, as soon as Inazuma jumped, he quickly put his left leg back, putting his body into a stance, while swiftly putting both of his arms forward while his other back on to the sword, ready to fight. And for Inazuma, he didn’t just jump, for one should never under estimate the power of the dragon’s big magical balls, as soon as Inazuma jumped towards Ikazuchi’s position, gravity didn’t follow next.
Instead he just sort of stopped in mid air, almost like he was flying, although I don’t think he was, and was near enough Ikazuchi for him to fight. And so, in the brief couple of seconds that this occurred, as soon as Inazuma was close enough to Ikazuchi, who both were ready to fight sword to sword finally, the sounds of clashing metal echoed through the air as the fire of rage burned within both of their souls. Ikazuchi was holding his position on foot while standing on the tree branch while Inazuma was in the air, almost a sight to behold, something that you would have to be there to see.
And as their two swords came into contact with one another, they both held it for a few seconds, trying to push the other one back, but in the end, it ended up staying where it landed. But as soon as their swords left contact, they quickly in succession started to strike each other with their sword, Katina to Katina, what felt like was at lightning speeds. In the beginning, they were in the middle, as their sword collided with one another, moving in all different directions, within their user’s limits of course.
As it went on for a few second, Ikazuchi started to gain an upper hand with him pushing Inazuma backwards a bit, but this did not deter Inazuma even in the slightest. So instead of showing hesitation in his actions, Inazuma started to push back Ikazuchi himself after a few seconds of starting to lose it. All the while, the swords continued to show a little spark as the sound of clashing metal through the air, as it went from side to side, preventing the opposing sword from reaching the one holding the other sword.
And as Inazuma was pushing Ikazuchi back, Ikazuchi was starting to get worried a little bit that his rival was starting to show him up. He looked a little bit less confident in his actions, almost as to how Inazuma was in the beginning of their duel. And as Inazuma continued to push Ikazuchi backwards, the closer that Ikazuchi’s back was towards the tree itself. And Ikazuchi didn’t have to look back in order to know he was losing ground and that he was being backed into a corner by his foe.
And as soon as Ikazuchi was backed up far enough towards the tree, Inazuma was suddenly no longer floating in mid air and his feet were touching the same branch that Ikazuchi was on, pretty much implying his dominance and the power that he had over Ikazuchi. However, Ikazuchi wasn’t going to go down with a fight, especially since he was using the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and using it to his will, so what could go wrong?
After what felt like a losing battle for him, Ikazuchi, without needing to look upwards, as fast as light, jumped up towards to the next branch that was to the right. But Inazuma wasn’t going to waste any time, so he quickly followed suite and followed him to the next tree branch. And while they were both on the next, same tree branch, which was almost the same as the previous branch as before, the two got in a quick hit with their swords with the sound of clinging metal can be heard in a fraction of a second.
And as soon as their two swords was done coming into contact with one another, Ikazuchi repeated the process again and like a shadow person, moved towards the next tree branch up wards towards the right. And the process was rinsed and repeated several times over, as the two spiraled upwards towards the top of the tree. From my perspective, it was like seeing two shadow demons moving quickly around a tree. But for them, they were moving like the wind, moving gracefully and striking with art.
The two didn’t seem to notice that they were moving very quickly as to them, time was somewhat slower. Perhaps it was because of the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls that they were both using. But to them, they were in their own little world, their only concentration being on each other with the will to continue on fighting. The rage and the fire burning from within their very souls, wanting to kill one another fueled the fight, with none of them holding back their strength.
Granted, it appeared to me that they were holding back their full potential and that they could have used more power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and go full nuclear to try and kill one another perhaps. But even then, they didn’t, almost as if they had respect for one another and for the land and the environment around them, even if it was the non-Japanese kind instead of the Japanese kind, but hey, I don’t think they cared by that point. So they were jumping from branch to branch, as fast as they could with as fast they could strike. They never really landed a hit on the other with their swords.
They only ever made contact with the opposing sword with the sound of that clashing metal being heard throughout or at the very least nearby. As for me, I was still sitting on my pony ass, looking towards the tree and wondering what the fuck was happening.
I mean, I just wanted to get back to Stalia, but there I was, watching two samurai from Earth, from my universe, battling each other, along with two dead hyper realistic horse corpses, rotting away near me. I mean imagine a pony coming across that and trying to figure that out. But then again we were on the train tracks, out in the middle of nowhere it seemed, so all I had to say was that whatever happened on the train tracks, stayed on the train tracks. So anyway, eventually Ikazuchi reached his limit towards the top, or at least as high as he could go to a tree branch that would support him and Inazuma’s weight without breaking.
But it was fairly close to the tippy top of the tree. It seemed like they were high in the sky, yet, not really. But it was an oddly tall tree to be near some train tracks though. So, with that being said, Inazuma had Ikazuchi backed into a corner… metaphorically speaking that is. Ikazuchi was at the end, with nowhere to run.
There were no other tree branches for him to jump onto, or least tree branches that were big enough and long enough to support his weight. So Ikazuchi stood towards the edge of the branch, high up, far from the ground. And from his perspective, it looked like a long ways down, but in fairness it wasn’t that far down. It wasn’t tall enough for a plane that is hijacked by a sand person that goes ‘durka durka’ to hit the tree, but it was tall enough for someone to break their legs or possibly kill them if possible.
And Ikazuchi was looking all the way down once he had gotten to that branch and towards the edge. And all of a sudden, from behind, Inazuma made his appearance on that branch. And with just the feeling of Inazuma stepping and putting all of his weight on his end of the branch, Ikazuchi turned around stared right into Inazuma’s blue, glowing eyes, against the background of the night sky, since by this point, the night sky was more visible since they were higher up. Inazuma was holding his sword with both hands, firmly and without fear.
He was ready to finish the fight that was started, and it was clear that he was going to win. As for Ikazuchi, he was only holding his sword in his left hand, yet he didn’t seem to be afraid of Inazuma. But he did look a little bit unsure of what to do next. But they were both warriors, and no matter what, they were going fight as warriors and die as warriors. So without a single word, Ikazuchi raised his sword up, brought near his chest and placed his right hand below where his left hand was holding the sword at as tight as he could while staring directly towards Inazuma.
And it was silence up there as well, so silent that you could hear both of them breathing a little bit heavily, yet gracefully, taking every second to take it all in and savor the moment between the two of them. And then almost like a flash of lightning, the two clashed their swords once more, this time with nowhere to run to. Their sword collided with one another, as it scrapped by each other and the sword separated for it to collide with one another once more. The two swung their sword at each other; with the only thing that the sword was making contact with was the other one’s sword.
There was no real strike, no damage dealt by the other. And Inazuma could see this. And yet Ikazuchi wasn’t doing anything about it, a similar mistake that he had done himself earlier in the fight. And so, Inazuma took the opportunity that he saw and was the fast one with his actions.
As soon as their swords separated from each other, Inazuma quickly took a look beneath the two of them, raised his sword quickly, and striked the branch beneath them. He slashed the tree branch, forcing Ikazuchi to go with the flow of gravity. Since Inazuma was on the other end of the branch, the action that he had caused didn’t affect him too much, as the part that he had cut off was the part that Ikazuchi was standing on.
This went all very fast, so fast that Ikazuchi couldn’t even see it coming. By this point, Inazuma had the upper hand, and he was surely going to win by this point. As Ikazuchi fell to the ground, with his back towards the ground, Inazuma simply rested his arms ad sword by only holding the sword in his right hand. Inazuma just stared as his opponent was falling, while the blue aurora continued to surround him against the colors of the night. But Ikazuchi, while foolish to have not seen that part coming, wasn’t done yet, as he quickly took form and was able to roll a little bit and stick his landing. And once he reached the hard ground, Ikazuchi quickly got up and raised his head upwards to stare at Inazuma who was still standing on top of the tree without almost a care in the world, at least which was the kind of look that he was giving off from just his eyes it had felt like.
And so Ikazuchi grabbed his sword with both hands once more, as the fire for battle still enraged him to continue on. And with just that pose, Inazuma got the message that their little fight was not at its end. So Ikazuchi started to back up while keeping eye contact on him. All the while, Inazuma, while still holding the sword in his right hand, was preparing to make a little entrance towards the bottom. And as Ikazuchi gave him the space, Inazuma bent his legs a little and leapt off from what was left of the tree branch that he had chopped in half.
And from where he jumped, he was doing it like if it was art as he fell through the air. But within only about a second of gravity pulling him towards the Earth, Inazuma stuck the landing by also rolling a little bit similar to how Ikazuchi landed before, but this time with being prepared and with grace. And as soon as Inazuma landed, he got quickly into position and took both hands to his sword, ready to fight and strike towards Ikazuchi.
As for how they were at, the train tracks was behind them, going past them, while the two remained perpendicular to the tracks. While the two were not standing on the train tracks, they were standing on the right. And as for me, I was still sitting on my pony ass, didn’t move, and watching the fight from afar, enjoying what was by this point, the entertainment between two complete strangers to me.
And so the two stared there in silence once more, entering another stare down right before their fight. Yet, it felt like this was going to be the last one, with Inazuma growing with the fight going on. And without a single word to say it, it seemed that just by looking into both of their eyes; they both knew that this was the final part. This was the final test to see who was better when it came to their rivalry. And who would walk away alive, with a sense of pride, along with a sense of a chance to do what they need to do. If Ikazuchi would win, he would be able to continue the coup and take hold of the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls.
But if Inazuma would win, he would be able to go back to his homeland and have a chance to reclaim his home from those that betrayed him. Either way, it was the final showdown. Rather, it was the final stare down, a final moment of silence between the two for both of them to take it all in, and to possibly see the other one alive. And while Inazuma seemed a little kind, begging Ikazuchi to not fight with him in the beginning, now, he didn’t care and was ready to kill him if needed.
Yet, it felt like in his heart, he was still a kind samurai. And so, as the few reaming seconds of peace and silence passed, the tension rose. Who was going to win? Who was going to lose? Will they both die? Will one of them die? Who knew, but the answer was near for those questions. And so, after the quiet had came and went; the two immediately rushed each other, both on foot, boots on the ground, with not one of them holding back anything.
And just as before as they were fighting in the tree branches, their sword clashed with one another, but this time with more force and elegance. There was no slowly taking their time with each strike, each action that they made with their swords were quick and precise and to the point. As the sound of clashing metal ringed through the air, the two of them started to push back and forth between the two of them.
At first, Inazuma was pushing Ikazuchi backwards towards the train tracks, and eventually the Ikazuchi was on the train tracks, as was with Inazuma eventually. And eventually the pushback was so much that they were on the other side of the train tracks.
But the two never seemed to have noticed in the slightest where their feet were touching since they were all in the fight, so their mind wasn’t paying any attention to their environment around them. There could be zombies or monsters surrounding them. There could even be nuclear fallout coming and the two still wouldn’t care, let alone notice.
All that mattered between the two was their fight and trying to kill one another. And so with that being said, Ikazuchi knew that Inazuma was pushing him back, and he wasn’t going to have any of it. So he started to use all of his might and force and started to push Inazuma backwards towards the train tracks, by simply adding more weight with every strike to his sword.
That did the trick and had forced Inazuma backwards, to try and stand his grand while the force of Ikazuchi’s sword was constantly striking very roughly on his sword. And eventually, the two were back on the side of the track that they had started on to begin with. But despite the loss in ground cover that Inazuma had to face, he was determined to win and that didn’t stop him.
So, he continued to try and push Ikazuchi as the two continued to strike with their swords and nothing more. You could off the two with a gun if it meant they could end the other’s life very easily, and they would reject the offer because to them, this is honor and this was respect within their homeland. While fighting may not have been their entire life, it was at least a huge part of their lives and their culture, especially when it came to their ancestors of course.
However, Ikazuchi didn’t seem to budge and wasn’t going to be pushed back that easily, so Inazuma had to dig down deep within him and use the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls, assumingly of course, as the blue aurora around grew in strength and showed that Inazuma wasn’t fucking around. This power, Ikazuchi could feel without having to feel the power himself, and it started to weaken him a little bit in his confidence to win the fight. As for Inazuma, it only encouraged him to go all out, and he did as Inazuma started to get back into the game as he started to push Ikazuchi back once more.
And as he did, it seemed like Inazuma was going to be able to win the fight very soon, and Ikazuchi took notice of course as he started to lose ground. He didn’t need to see it; he could just feel it as the power within him started to fade as the power within Inazuma only continued to grow significantly. So as the two were on the train tracks, Ikazuchi had to make a move as the two just continued to simply clash sword only by this point.
So Ikazuchi pulled a little trump card and quickly, and precisely without hurting himself either, swept under Inazuma’s legs with his right leg. And in turn, Inazuma unexpectedly fell backwards, losing his balance and grip on his sword that he accidently let go. And to add salt to the wound, as Inazuma was falling down on his back, Ikazuchi quickly and swiftly pulled his sword backwards a little bit, and went straight forwards and stabbed Inazuma in the chest. Although, not sure what was keeping him alive, he was hit in the chest with the sword, so one would assume he would be dead, but whatever.
And as he fell, he fell pretty much off the train tracks while Ikazuchi was still standing on the tracks. And even though a mask covered his face, so you couldn’t see what his reaction even was, you could just tell a little grin was forming on his face when he finally was able to strike down his rival Inazuma. And he was close to death as well; he needed one final blow to finish him off. As for Inazuma’s sword, it had fallen when Inazuma was caught off, as well as getting stabbed.
And so, as Inazuma remained alive, he was on his back, with both of his arms holding him up a little bit with his head struggling to see Ikazuchi. As for Ikazuchi, he got a little bit closer to Inazuma as he continued to look down on Inazuma, half in shame it seemed and half in victory. And so as Ikazuchi was raising his sword, ready to kill off Inazuma, Inazuma was watching, pretty much accepting his defeat. He had failed, and he knew that there was only shame and regret.
Shame in his failure and to his ancestors, and regret that he couldn’t have been stronger to fight against Ikazuchi and win. But none of that seemed to have mattered as his fate was death.
And as Ikazuchi towered over him and was ready to kill him, Ikazuchi said in his final words to Inazuma, while Inazuma said nothing, “I told you what was going to happen to Inazuma. But you put up a good fight, and I respect that about you. You’re a good warrior, but a horrible Japanese. Goodbye Inazuma, you were…”
And Ikazuchi was then cut off very quickly as a train what seemed like came from out of nowhere sped on by and hit him while Inazuma was safe and out of the way of the train hitting him. And with that being said, it was over in a flash, almost as if lighting had hit him and Ikazuchi was burnt to ashes. As for Inazuma, while he was still hurt, he took a quick look around, and looked both ways on the train tracks, wondering what the fuck had just happened. If you’re wondering what had happened to Ikazuchi and if he was turned into a pancake, well, to say the least he was still alive.
He was just stuck on the front end of the train was all, traveling at over one hundred miles per hour, and sort of unconscious. But at the time, Inazuma didn’t know and he just had to assume that Ikazuchi was dead from being run over by a train that came from out of nowhere. Although chances are it was just an Equestrian train trying to be on time and couldn’t see through the fog. Speaking of the fog, the fog itself started to disappear it seem, almost as if it was all Ikazuchi’s doing, although it wasn’t completely gone, it was just starting to lighten up was all.
For Inazuma, it hurt trying to get up, but this wasn’t his first rodeo being harmed on the battlefield, so he just had to get used to it until he could find a place as well as some material to heal his wounds. If possible, he would probably, more than likely prefer, to get back to his homeland and get rest there.
So, Inazuma slowly got up, taking his time and trying not to rush it, and was eventually was into a kneeling position. His sword didn’t fall too far, so as soon as he saw it, he grabbed it with his right hand and pointed the sharp end of the sword to the ground to help him get up.
And he had struggled a bit to raise himself from the ground, he had then managed as soon as he stood on his own two feet, he was able to walk without too much of a problem, for the most part he was walking with a limp. And so he looked over towards me ad started to come to me, as I’m sure he had some final words to say to me.
For me, I was just enjoying the fight, and honestly what a weird turn of events too. It had seemed that Ikazuchi was going to win; by at the last second, it seemed like a Dues Ex Machina came in and saved the day for Inazuma. How could anyone have guessed that was going to happen, am I right? So with that being said, Inazuma limped over towards me as I had finally gotten off of my pony ass and back on to my own four pony hooves. And as I did, he finally made it over to me.
I looked up towards him, as Inazuma was holding his sword in his right hand while having his left hand over his chest where the sword went through and to keep pressure on it. And even though I couldn’t see his face, his eyes told a different story and he looked a little disappointed, a little sad, but who knows, it could have been because of the wounds. So, I tilted my head upwards as he looked down towards me.
And there was silence, while I only gave him a neutral look, almost as if I didn’t care what had just happened, and to be fair, I didn’t.
But Inazuma decided to break the silence and said to me, “So uhhh… that was something. I didn’t really expect for that to happen. Didn’t expect to give the secrets of the Japanese to a non-Japanese either and lead into a battle between life and death either. But… I regret nothing. So uhhhh… are you ok my little pony friend of mine?”
I then said to him, “Yeah.”
He then said to me as he nodded his head a little bit, “That’s good, that good… Well, I suppose the ancestors don’t look down upon me on revealing our secrets since I was saved. I suppose that is a sign that I must leave and go back to my homeland.”
Inazuma then turned his head back and started to look back at the carnage that was made from their fight, which was just two dead, rotting, hyper realistic horses, but still.
Inazuma then said, as he was looking back, “But it’s going to be a little hard to get back home for me without my ride.”
He could just see his dead hyper realistic horse, and it seemed to have saddened him as well. But just knowing that he needed to go home, I was reminded that I needed to get back on track and go home as well.
And so I then asked Inazuma, “So uhhh… samurai… I guess this means goodbye then?”
Inazuma then turned his head back towards me and he had then said to me as he looked down towards me, “For now my little pony. I feel that our paths are not done yet being crossed. The fates will surely have us meet again one day, our actions affecting one of us somehow in some way, but how and when, I do not know. I’ll be heading home now,”
I then said to him, as he looked back towards the way that he came and was looking at the path ahead for his way back home, however he came that is, “Yeah, I’ve got to head home too. Surprisingly it’s a bitch that feels like it’s taking me four episodes to do… if that makes any sense.”
Inazuma then said, without looking at me, and only towards the path that he needed to take, “No, it makes sense my friend. The path towards home is a long, unwinding road that can take us far and wide, and perhaps teach us a thing or two about ourselves. But as long as we make it home, that’s all that matters, even if it is the last thing that we do. Goodbye for now my little pony.”
And so Inazuma started to walk away with sword in hand and not looking back... until he looked back real quick towards me and said to me, “Oh and Amazon thanks you for your business, and please rate your delivery five stars. Thank you very much for your patients and we apologize for any inconvenience that you may have experienced.”
And then he didn’t look back as he walked away, as the fog that was surrounding the area from when he entered was finally lifted, almost as if it was a weird goodbye or something. And as the fog was lifted, you could see the pure night sky once more, as the moon was lighting the ground floor and the stars twinkled in the sky. And eventually, the lone samurai had walked far enough into the distance to where I couldn’t even see him anymore. And all there was left was just me, some packages that I didn’t care about anymore, and two, dead, decapitated hyper realistic horses.
And I said to myself as I looked around a bit, “Well fuck me that was intense.”
And I had said it still with a neutral look on my face, but that part was finally over and it was my cue to get the fuck out of there. And so, I went ahead and got a move on as I started to walk passed the two dead, hyper realistic horses, as the smell filled my nostrils, and yeah, it wasn’t too pleasant, and I didn’t look back.
And I’m sure if anyone were to come by and find those two, dead, hyper realistic horses, they will just think it was an undiscovered cryptic and it was aliens or something. And so I continued to walk, sort of in the same direction the samurai had came from and tried to get back home to Stalia, because it started to feel like this whole thing was going on for too long.
But it did, so the fuck are you going to do about it? History is history after all. Even if it is nonsense and riddled with what the fuck moments that makes you question the whole point of this and what I went through with life and shit, but that’s the name of the game. Or the game of life? I don’t know… Well anyways, I ended up continuing my journey on the train tracks, still trying to find a way back home to Stalia, as well as hoping to not come across anything else on the train tracks, but that seemed to have been inevitable.
The public service announcement here kids is to stay far from train tracks. They may be a great way of committing self forever sleep, but if you’re not going to die, then be wary of the lie… whatever that means. Anyways, I was walking, no signs of any weird fogs or a hambone in a wheelchair. Just the sounds of silence.
Yes, the pure, utter sounds of nice, quiet silence. A time to reflect upon the things that I had done along with all of the things that I have seen and experienced. And while walking, I reflected upon how I got to this point even. I was once from Earth, found a portal to the outside of the universe, and had some adventures with what were in a sense my friends. But then a break up happened, I was alone, but then I went to the MLP universe for what felt like the second or third time, because you know… Factory Dash and that other thingy?
But then I ended up in this MLP universe, that I’m still in, tried to sort of “retire” and chill out with the Mane 6 if possible as part of living the Brony dream. But then I ended up going to school for a while, did some stuff there, and then ended up going to Stalia, and sort of repeating the shit from the Friendship is Magic.
Or at least to an extend that is. That’s what I ended up coming up with in my head to summarize everything thus far. And to be fair at the time, it was questionable. Why was I still going? I should have been relaxing and not having to do anything. I did my time, and to an extend it was a mistake. And hell, I had every Brony’s dream of being there.
I could just start a new home, a new place in Equestria and away from Stalia and run away from it all. Yet, I still kept going. For a reason I questioned, and for the most part the Universe probably wouldn’t let me anyways. But oh well, I still had to make my way back on foot… hoof… whatever… or finding a ride if possible. And being alone made me think about that stuff with the silence.
It made me feel alone, an outcast of outcasts for some reason. It made feel like it was me against the world for whatever reason. Yet it made me think that I was the king of the world, the leader of my own destiny, that I am free as I could be and that I could go anywhere I please. In my mind, I was everywhere, part of me missing my bed back in Stalia, but the other part of me knowing that I was somewhat free.
It almost felt like I had a choice to make, to where I could either run away from it all and start a new life and change my name to John Conquest and start a radio show where I bitch and whine about watching YouTube videos for money and only show up two out of the three times out of the week that I am supposed to show up because I’m a lazy broadcast host.
That or whatever is the pony equivalent to that idea. It made me think about that kind of stuff you know. The silence gets to your head and it makes you think of weird things. I mean, who knows, maybe everything on the train tracks thus far was all in my head as I slowly go insane due to the loneliness and the isolation away from civilization while traveling the train tracks alone. Or perhaps the train tracks were cursed, as in the tracks themselves were abandoned long ago and it became haunted by spirits that cursed it for those who walk the tracks. That or who knows, maybe I died and I didn’t know it, probably from the cold outside and freezing to death and what I was experiencing was purgatory.
But if that was true, Neon would have been there or something maybe. Really, who knew at the time, but I’m pretty sure I had it all figured out that it was real. But you never know… So anyways, as I was walking, I was starting to see some bushes nearby. Not that there wasn’t anything around. I mean the train tracks on both side as mentioned were covered with trees, some tall, some short, but mostly tall, and mostly dead with just the branches.
But when it came to bushes, it was far and few between. So when it came to a nearby bush, it was visually interesting. Not because it looked beautiful, but because after seeing what felt like was an endless row of trees, as well as dirt and train tracks, it was nice to see something different. Plus if needed, it could potentially provide some sort of nutrition and a place to take a piss. But still, it was interesting to see something visually different compared to the depressing look of steel train tracks, dead, brown, somewhat withering away tree, and endless miles of dirt. Or hard dirt since it was cold and I would imagine if you tried to dig up that soil, it wouldn’t be easy.
Not only to mention, on top of that there was also some snow, just not near the train tracks. It started to make me think that the current season was winter, while really the current season, at least back in Stalia was... Spring? Or was it summer? I mean winter didn’t last that long anyways to begin with and with the Pegasus being in control of the weather within civilization limits; it didn’t make it clear what the natural season was supposed to be.
But if you don’t think about it too much, then it won’t bother you same thing with the train tracks, just don’t think about it; just roll with it. If you roll with what happens with the train tracks, it becomes your friend. Trying to make any sense of it, especially within a human kind of sense that is anyways. And even though I struggled to still do that, especially with Neon, sometimes you just needed to let the current take you wherever it wants to take you.
And if you don’t struggle and just let it happen, you could go easy into that goodnight and be at peace. That or take a pillow and smother your dying mother and tell her the same thing and get the same results, but hey, I’m not a Cow Tipper now am I? Now doing it to your adoptive parents, now that’s where the money is… I think. Technically it’s not murder, technically, it’s… well no it is murder.
But as long as you get the money from the will, it’s all good; at least that’s what a homeless person told me once while on the streets. Either way, it’s all the same thing. So anyways, I saw a bush, and it looked nice while coming up to it. It looked full, had plenty of leaves on it, and was filled with life and was potential to give life to others either providing berries for animals to take from or producing blooming, beautiful flowers whenever the warm spring time came at some point in the year.
And seeing it didn’t really change my facial expression, but it did give me a nice idea of stopping by it. I mean, I could maybe use it to take a piss with my pony penis, which I’m not going into detail how it feels compared to a human penis other than it looks big, but doesn’t feel big. Let’s leave it like that. But as I was saying, I could drain the… seven or eight inches I think?
I don’t know, I never thought to measure my dick, and I know it would be much bigger than what I had on earth, but my guess is that it might have been maybe eleven and a half inches long perhaps.
But that’s just a guess though, so don’t quote me on that. And that’s only when it isn’t erect so who knows. Anyways, I could drain the lizard, but then I sit on my pony ass, maybe even lie on the hard, cold, dirt floor and get some rest so I could have more energy to keep up until the sun comes out and shining. And yeah, I could have done it anywhere else, but come on, a bush is a bush, and as long as it is not that kind of bush, then why not be by that bush? And in case you’re confused about what bush I’m referring to, you know… that bush that a certain group of people have… or had… A particular bush that looks old and raggedy and filthy.
And it has a particular smell and leaves a bad taste in your mouth. George W. Bush of course… that’s our bush. And those endless amount of early 2000’s cartoons are filled with cringe about Gorge W. Bush will never, ever go away. They will always remain and will be scared into your memory as you tried to download that funny ecard on your DSL internet connection in the year 2003, because you couldn’t jack off and the girl that you’re stalking doesn’t like you and your only other choice is the end of a double barreled shotgun. What else did you think you fucking sicko?
George Senior Bush? God you people are sick. You all have sick minds you fucks! You people make me sick. If I could, I would spit into this journal, and once you all read it, the spits goes straight into your face… or into your mouth to get a disease, either way, you make me sick. Anyways, it was either stopping out in the middle of nowhere with no other scenery, and feel empty and naked, in a metaphorical sense that is, or stop by a bush and feel at least something else is there by you while you’re resting.
And who knows, if you lose your mind enough, you could talk to the bush and make friends with it. Unless of course that bush is burning, then you probably need to stay far away from it. I mean, those burning bushes, they always try and sell you on doing something, but it always ends badly somehow. Like one minute you’re minding your business, but then all of a sudden a fucking burning bush talks to you about freeing your so called people and giving you some commandments that you have to follow or you’ll burn in a lake of fire.
Those burning bushes are scams and are just a front for the Jewish mafia I tell ya. You can’t trust them. I know, I know it is sort of racially insensitive to think that, but let’s be serious here… Burning Bushes are biggers. That’s right, I said it. Fuck biggers, fucking sue me. Their lives do not mater ok; they are not a human being, both fugitively and literally speaking that is.
And if the burning bushes community has a problem with me saying biggers, then they can bite me then. Fucking dirty biggers, I tell ya, it only takes one to ruin a good train track, or a hill. All I have to say is do not forget Moses. He is a martyr of these filthy biggers, and that’s final.
But non-biggers are welcomed with open arms, which is why you should probably rest by a bush because they won’t fuck with you when you’re minding your own business. The Biggers need to move to the back of the ovens. Final words though… Biggers are scammers… boom, moving on. Anyways, I was coming up on the bush and considering the length of I had walked was starting to hurt me so I decided to take a little break.
So as soon as I saw the bush and decided that it was a nice place to take a little rest at, I moved to the side of the track, since that was what side the bush was on, at least from my perspective anyways. And once I did, I just slowly made my way over to it, with every step anticipating the break. My feet… hooves… whatever… were hurting me, but with every step I took, the closer that I was to my resting spot.
The pain hurt, but I just had to push myself and keep going until I reached my end. And I did, so that was nice. So I made it to the spot, as I got real close to it, but not too close that is. And the direction I was facing was towards the train tracks, so I could see both left and right of the tracks.
And as soon as I sat on my pony ass, quietly that is, I had a little bit of a relief look on my face as I was sort of sweating, and I used my magic from my horn to take off my black cowboy hat that I sometimes I forget I wear. But hey, sometimes that happens where if you wear for something long enough you don’t even notice.
That might be just me, but whatever I guess. So I used my magic to remove my black cowboy hat and just have it levitate there for a few second while I let my head get some air. And once that cool breeze hit my head and my black mane, it felt comforting to feel that cold air cover my head once the second I took my hat off.
I didn’t have a smile on my face; it was just a few seconds of bliss. And as I had my hat off, a bit of sweat was dripping a little bit from my forehead. And so I raised my right hoof up to my forehead and wiped away any of the smelly liquid away, as I had my eyes looking towards the left of the track.
And as I did, I said to myself, “Jesus, how much further do I need to walk until I find someone at least?”
I had said it with a bit of a worried look on my face, that kind of worried look that you would give if you were on the verge of dying, or at least the worry of coming across death if nothing is done about it, but that might be over exaggerating the worried look I had.
But with that being said, after I was looking over towards the left of the tracks, I then used my magic to gently place the black cowboy hat back on my head, since I had felt that I had my few seconds of bliss. And yeah, it seems weird that out in the cold that I would be sweating and a little heated, but that happens sometimes. Weird, but true.
So, I placed the hat back on my head, and then shifted my eyes over to the right. And I saw absolutely nothing other than what seemed to be miles and miles of more train tracks. It was starting to feel like that I had entered the Twilight Zone and some guy in a suit was going to come out and tell me that this was all a dream… or New Jersey. Either way, what’s the difference? So after I looked towards that direction, I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting. Part of me was hoping to find some trains passing nearby so that I could hop on and hitch a ride, no matter what direction it was going in, because either way, it would be a lot faster than walking on my pony feet… or hooves, whatever… And to be fair I technically had a chance back there with the two samurais fighting each other, but that train came out of nowhere.
Besides, there was a heavy fog, so it felt like it came out of nowhere. And on top of the fight, my attention wasn’t thinking of a potential coming train. But it is what it is, and that’s life I suppose. And life was still treating me like shit. Or perhaps that was The Universe, either way, it was shit for me. Then again, perhaps it was a good idea that a train didn’t pass on by because the last one that I was on before blew up and TF tried to kill me.
So really I was in between a rock and a hard place when it came to the current situation that I was in. I wasn’t sure what to do other than to keep moving and in hopes that I would find my way back home. And even then home was a subjective word to use, but as long as it had a comfy bed and a decent bathroom, home was home.
So, I continued to sit there and ponder and wonder what I should do next. And I let the silence roll over me as I was surrounded by a bunch of dead trees both front and back, and it was just me, by my lonesome self. But there was a nice little green bush right next to me that stood out like a sore thumb when compared to the rest of the landscape. Sure, there wasn’t much to it other than the healthy looking, small sized leaves on it. It almost felt like that bush was put there just for me.
It felt like it was a sign, that the bush itself was lost and lonely as well, and that the two of coming together was a sign from the gods that we were meant to meet each other. It seemed like that the bush and I were meant to find each other and become the best of friends. And I’m sure if the bush was to move on its own or maybe even talk, the bush name would be Bob. And it would make the best of friends with Tom… remember that rock Tom? In fact, now that I recall, I don’t recall too much about seeing or hearing about Tom… perhaps this bush was Tom’s cousin… hint hint.
Anyways, after getting the silence getting to my head for about a minute and a half, I decided it was time to actually do something, and I kept thinking and thinking. Part of me wanted to just keep pushing myself and keep moving forward until I saw something or found someone that could help me out. But then another part of me wanted to just lay there by the bush, maybe get some sleep, even if it was only for thirty minutes.
Sure, it would be dangerous, anyone could come up to me and try and kill me, yet at the same time, having the bush near me would have made me feel a little bit safe. At least there was something to the side of me and nothing else. But a decision had to be made. Especially when it came to food and dehydration. As far as food and water went, if I recall, I was fine. But I would need to at the very least have found some source of liquid that was consumable or else my mouth would start to get dry and then it would start to feel a bit uncomfortable to say the least.
So, you might wonder why it was such a hard decision to make, clearly I needed to keep moving, especially since it was at night. Hell, it may have been three in the morning or some shit at the time. I mean, if it was, then that would have made it even scarier because that means it was the witching hour. Fucking Pony Satan could have popped out… or maybe just Neon, but in that case it could have been either good for me or bad.
But then again, Neon is Neon, nothing more to really say about it. But at the same time I was tried, I needed to get more energy so I could continue to keep myself going along the train tracks. Although I started to think of a bit out outlandish ideas because many years ago, I recalled reading on the internet, and as you know, you can trust the internet one hundred and ten percent.
Anyways I had read somewhere that if you tried hard enough, you wouldn’t need any sleep and you could use the lack of energy to mediate and gain an infinite amount of energy that way. And for some reason that little part of my memory recalled that little insignificant part from my life back on Earth, and I wondered if that would have worked.
Hell, TK never slept, or as the story went, he used to sleep, but no longer did. But then again, I did make him and that was sort of an attribute for him to have, so unless someone else created me and gave me the ability to not sleep, I had needed some rest … I just got the weirdest sense of breaking the fourth wall right just now. It’s weird, I’m not even Neon and yet my head feels dizzy just thinking about it. Ok, never mind that, just don’t think about it and the dizziness will go away.
So, a part of me just wanted to plop my pony body down and get a little bit of rest, but the other part of me just wanted to move. And trying to outweigh the pros and cons of each decision, my conclusion was to continue to sit there and continue to contemplate both options. Yeah, I was having a bit of trouble, but long story short, I stayed there for about like a few minutes until I just had to inevitably force myself to just lie down.
And once I did, my entire body felt like it melted. My arms and legs stretched out, all relaxed and shit like that. To get a good idea, I had my pony stomach was facing towards the ground, with all of my pony legs and arms stretched outward as much as I could. In fact, I had to get a little stretching in there at that moment, and as my muscles stretched, it was just one of the best feelings in the world. It felt like taking a ton of pressure and stress off of my body.
And I couldn’t help but have a little smile form on my face because of that good feeling that I was feeling all throughout my body. And after a few seconds of stretching my limbs, my left leg shook and thumped up and down on the ground quickly, because again, it felt that good and felt like I was taking a ton of weight off of me. And the feeling, just felt like one of the best feelings that I had ever felt in the world, despite not being actually true.
Yet, it felt like I was in heaven not being on my feet… hooves… whatever, just laying down, relaxing a little. Sure, it wasn’t a heavenly, soft bed with silk smooth covers and a pillow made out of pure and light feathers, yet it didn’t matter what I was laying my body down on. It just felt nice to just lie down and not put any strain on any of my body parts.
For a moment, I felt like I was in heaven, a dirty dirt heaven that is. And after my few seconds of pure bliss of stretching, my arms and legs retracted a little back to its normal position, and everything felt relived and relaxed and comfortable. And after that, I didn’t want to get up. I just wanted to rest for a bit. Hell, I felt like I didn’t want to get up ever again and just stay there, make a little home out of sticks and leaves and start all over again with my new buddy, Bob the Bush. And who knows, maybe he can get his cousin Tom the Rock to come over for a visit and we can have a party.
And soon before you know it, without any real thought coming to mind for it, my body seemed to have naturally curled up into a more comfortable position, sort of how some ponies end up sleeping in some of the time, especially when not in a bed. I pretty much curled up like a cat in a soft little bed. It just naturally came; I suppose you could say it came with the territory when in a pony’s body. However, I was trying to stay up because the thought of not having four walls surround my position didn’t feel right.
Yet at the same time, my body kept telling me, on the inside, to not fight it and just let happen whatever happen. And the more I remained restless and only in thought, the more my mind started to slowly give into the idea of sleeping there. And the more that I thought about moving a little bit, trying to stay awake, and the more the feeling of sleep came.
And the more the feeling of sleep came to my body, the heavier my eye lids became. And soon before you knew it, I was out like a light bulb… made by Tesla. That’s right, fuck that guy. Edison did it better bitch. Fight me.
Anyways, funny enough I still remembered the dream, in fact since the sleep came out of nowhere, I didn’t know that I was in a dream. It all felt like that I was still awake and nothing had happened. Yet I did crossover into dreamland and it was… well… let me explain.
So once my dream started, I was thinking that I was still awake. And everything was still the same. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and that Luna’s moon was no different than from before. Everything was alright. Everything felt calm and collected. It felt like everything was peaceful and in its rightful place. And then all of a sudden I heard a voice.
The voice said to me, “Psst… hey buddy, you got a sec?”
My eyes quickly shot up and became wide as I was caught off guard by that voice. I was worried, wondering if someone was going to kill me, and a sense of worry started to fill my mind.
It even started to feel a bit scary to me like something was going to come out of nowhere and start screaming at me and kill me. But then my mind eased the tension a little bit when I then thought that perhaps it could have been someone that could have helped me in my little, unnecessary, unscheduled journey back home.
And then all of a sudden, the feeling around me started to feel nice and hopeful in a way. Yet, I looked around me and still didn’t find the source of the voice that was talking to me. I looked both ends of the train tracks, yet I didn’t see a single thing. No one, no human, no pony, no one. And it was certainly not a voice that I recognized, so I would have to assume it was a complete stranger that was talking to me. So I remained a bit confused as to who was talking to me.
I stayed silent and didn’t respond, so the mysterious voice then said to me, “Psst… hey buddy… I’m over here.”
Once I heard the voice for the second time, I had gotten a better idea of the voice, and by then I realized the voice was sort of a soft voice, like it was trying to keep a low profile. And I also found the source of the voice, and it was coming from the right of me.
So I looked over towards my rights, and yet I didn’t see anything but the green bush. I was confused and not sure what I was supposed to be looking at. I thought about getting up and looking on the other side of the bush, thinking someone was on the other side. However, it felt hard to get up. It felt weird, it felt like the force of gravity was holding me down and I couldn’t get up no matter how hard that I tried.
It was weird and I couldn’t explain it and it was almost scary to an extent, but then the voice said to me before my fears could grow any further, “I’m right next to you.”
I then quickly turned my head next to me and just stared at the bush.
Perplexed, I then said with an amount of uncertainty, “Hello?”
The voice then said to me, “It’s me, the bush.”
My eyes than began to widen and I was now starting to get a little bit scared, with a feeling of danger lurking nearby.
But before something bad could happen, the bush then said to me, “Calm down, everything is going to be alright.”
My feelings of anxiety then calmed down and my sense of being worried turned into curiosity in a fraction of a second.
Of course to me, I was thinking this was all real and not fake, so I just rolled along with it, not noticing it was a dream at all. I then said, “Why are you alive?”
The bush then said to me, “Calm your voice down. They can hear us.”
I then asked the bush, “Who can hear us?”
The bush then said, “My name is Bob by the way.”
I then said to Bob the Bush, “Why do I need to keep my voice down?”
Bob the Bush then said to me, “What are you doing here?”
I was then speechless, but mostly confused as to what was going on. First there was a talking, and now the bush wasn’t answering my questions and asking me stuff with no rhyme or reason to it.
So I just stared at the bush and just said, “What?”
Bob the Bush then said to me, “We can live here together if you want. Just don’t mess it up.”
And then all of a sudden, my mind started to roll along with it and I then said, “I guess maybe we can live here. I need some fire wood and a tent to get us started at least.”
And then Bob the Bush remained silent, and didn’t say a word to me. I started to think he wasn’t alive. Hell, I started to think he wasn’t even there and it was someone else there.
But then Bob the Bush then said to me, “It’s getting hot in here.”
I then said while I was starting to sweat, “Yeah, it is. Can we get an air conditioner in here?”
And then all of a sudden Bob the Bush was set ablaze, and it became a burning bush… a fucking… dirty… filthy… bigger. But it was ok, we all need to accept diversity at some point in our lives, the biggers just need to sit back in the back of the ovens. It had to be said.
Then Bob the Bush said to me, “My feet are hurting me. I need to sleep.”
I then said to Bob the Bush, “Yeah… me too. I’m tried you know?”
But then Bob the Bush said to me, “We need to move, now.”
I then asked Bob the Bush, “Why?”
Bob the Bush then said to me, “We’re not save here. Run.”
All of a sudden, I started to get a terrible feeling. I got the feeling that something bad was going to happen to me if I didn’t run with Bob the Bush to get away. It was a sense of urgency that I had received in my mind to get out fast or else.
So I tried to get up this time, forgetting all about how I tried the last time, and I was able to do it this time, but I was slow. It felt like I was moving through water with a strong force of gravity being pressured on to me. As I tried to get up, Bob the Bush stood up from his roots, without pulling any dirt or anything like that and started to run away fast. And as he was running away fast, I was pushing myself, trying to get up and run with him because I felt like I was safe being with Bob the Bush.
I didn’t want to be left behind and lose a friend that I felt that I had just made. Eventually I was on my pony legs, and I tried to run after Bob the Bush, as the light from his fire lit the path through the darkness for me. However, again still, it felt like something was stopping me. I felt like I was running through quicksand, even though I wanted to go fast, I was slow and I couldn’t catch up to Bob the Bush.
And yet, Bob the Bush said to me as he was running away and getting further and further away from me, “Hurry up! Come with me Knight!”
And for my response, I didn’t say a word. Instead, I started to breathe heavily, starting to get scared for my very life. I was sweating, with my heart racing fast, feeling powerless and scarred and not sure what to do. I was scared I wasn’t going to run away from what was chasing me, or at least what felt like that something was chasing me despite not knowing what was chasing me in the first place. But that’s dreams for ya. Anyways, I tried my best to get a move on, but, whatever I tried; it was futile, so my mind was clouded with nothing but fear and worry.
And soon, the light that was emitting from Bob the Bush’s flames went away, and the darkness covered my vision. I could still see, but everything was dark and scary for me. I was scared to look behind me. I got the feeling that something was chasing me, and I was scared of what was going to happen next considering how powerless I was feeling.
And as to what was chasing me, like I said, I didn’t know. All I knew was something terrible and terrifying was after me, even with no build up towards it. But what could it have been was going through my mind in my dream.
Perhaps it was a monster with a certain smell to it? Maybe it was a beast with many sharp and pointy teeth? Perhaps it was a monster so vicious that it was molded and birthed from the darkness itself? I didn’t know, but I tried to keep running, but eventually I ended up stopping and just sitting on my pony ass. And as I was stopped, I could feel the haunting presence of what was chasing me creeping up on me from behind.
And then in a flash of a second, I was struck from behind by what felt like a powerful force to the back of my head. And once I was hit, I felt flat on my face. But after that, I felt like things changed and the scene altered quickly. Soon, my mind set was no longer on slow movements and talking burning biggers named Bob, but instead, on what the current action was going on at the moment.
And soon, I was able to get up as normal before, with my mind not thinking twice about it and rolling with it, forgetting about moving slowly beforehand. The darkness that enveloped the area soon was lit up as well, nothing with the morning sun, but as if everything was normal, just minus the burning bush named Bob of course. But as soon as I got up on my legs, I turned around, curious as to see who struck me.
And as I tuned to my surprise, it was TF. He was standing right in front of me, and he didn’t look too happy either. He looked a little torn up, as if he went through hell and back to try and follow me. He still had those bags under his eyes with the brown cowboy hat and such, but that was it. And as I looked at him, I could somehow tell that he used his hoof to strike me on my skull.
And I believed it too, even though probably it wouldn’t have been like that in reality at the time. But still, he felt strong, and in my mind, it was true. So I looked at him, confused as to why he was standing in front of me. I had thought I had lost him back in the mountains and shit.
So I asked him, “TF? How did you get here?”
TF just stared at me blankly, with an evil kind of stare with a secret, sinister plot hiding somewhere in his head. He was even giving off a little bit of a glowing grin that just spelled corrupt and wicked. He looked like he had something planned for me right then and there, and I wasn’t sure what.
He remained silent to my question, so I then asked him, “You followed me all this way?”
TF then said as he was walking around a little bit, “Yes I did Knight. You didn’t think I would let you get away that easily did you? You didn’t think that I would let you run away free, when we were just starting to have fun with our little game of cat and mouse?”
I then just stared towards TF, with wide eyes, surprised he was standing right before me. My mind was only concentrating on the fact that he was right there, and that the moment has come for me and him to fight it out once more. Although to be fair he was acting kind of weird compared to reality, almost campy in a way with how he was speaking. But my mind still registered it as real. I had already forgotten about the whole thing with the burning bush and what I was doing before.
So I then said to TF, “But why though?”
Really, I had no idea what I was even saying; dreams are weird like that for me. I have no real control over them.
But whatever, TF then said to me, “Why!? I want to end you for what you did to me! You… you are the DEVIL! And I will put an end to your wickedness! I had those ponies follow me, all to get to you! And poor Sky… oh poor Sky, he is gone. That poor young boy, he didn’t have a chance before he was gone. But he is gone now, and it wasn’t because of you. No… it was because of me… you… you and me… we are one!”
While that doesn’t make any sense, somehow in my dream it made some sense, like I was following along with the message that he was trying to say to me.
But in the end, I just said to him, “No!”
TF then said to me, “But we are though. You are I and I am you! We are cut from the same cloth, from the same mind and blood! We both follow the same path. We are together in this Knight. Remember the days of birth. Remember where we started, for you and me, me and you, me and the others, we are all one.”
To me it was all just mumbling yet in my dream it made some sense. But looking back on it… it made no sense at all. But that’s what happened.
So TF then said to me, “I’m going to kill you now Knight. Funny how we’re in a forest once more, for the third time. We should have done this more often. There is no princess alicorn or special unicorn magic to save you now Knight!”
I then said, “Not if I get you first!”
And then I tried to run up to him, which everything felt like it was normal again, and I tried to punch him with my left hoof. However, just like most dreams, when I tried to punch, it felt weak. It felt like I had a tiny arm on my body and could barely control it. It felt hard to control and I couldn’t aim properly compared to how it was before. And when I tried to punch, it landed on TF’s face, and it looked like it did something to him, yet it didn’t feel like I had done anything and didn’t use enough force on him.
Yet, TF moved his head back, like I really hurt him or something like that, as he closed his eyes and opened his mouth in pain, and oddly in silence. And once I put arm down, he opened his eyes, and looked really pissed at him. He then raised his right hoof and pulled it back and took his sweet time too, almost as if he was savoring the moment of landing a blow to me.
And soon before you knew it, he gave it his all and he landed a good, strong punch on my pony chest, in which when his right hoof made contact with my chest, it pushed me back several feet. Not too far just kind of more far than normal if he were to have punched me in reality. But still, dreams are weird like that, and I was pushed back.
And when I was pushed back, I landed on my back and I felt a strange amount of pain run through my body. It felt painful somehow through my mind, as my mouth opened up. And from my point of view, I was looking at nothing but the grey, cold, snowy clouds in the sky, passing me by, pretty much implying in my mind that it was no longer nighttime and it was day time, almost as if time had passed me by very fast without me even noticing.
But my mind wasn’t on that thought, it was only thinking that it was day, and it was always day time. But soon as I was done with the pain, I raised my head up, while remaining flat on my back, looking to see where TF was. And he was in the same position that he was in at when he punched me and forced me to the ground, but this time his stance was different. He was standing on his back two legs, with no issues or balancing problems. He was standing as if he was normal and that he was doing it as if he been it all of his life as a pony.
It was very surreal looking if you ever saw it. But that wasn’t the weird part though. As he was standing on the back of his two legs, he was holding with both of his hooves, almost if he had invisible hands on the ends of his hooves, a double barreled shotgun.
It wasn’t modified for a pony to hold, it was a normal, everyday, double barreled shotgun, with the open end part pointing towards me. And TF was holding it, ready to shoot my dead, with one of his eyes closed shut, and with the other one opened, aiming for my head it had seemed.
He then said to me, “Fuck you!”
And then he pulled the trigger and a loud shot was heard and everything went to black just like the ending of Sopranos… and then I woke up as I jolted up from my sleep. When I did wake up, as stated, I jolted up, as I gave a little yelp because the dream had startled me.
As I was awoken, I ended up pushing my back into the bush a little bit, as I could feel the little prickly feel of the leaves brushed against my back. And as I did, I was breathing a little heavily as well, sort of scared that it all actually happened as my eyes struggled to fully open.
As I was up, I went ahead and scanned the area around me, looking for TF and trying to find him among the trees. My mind was thinking it was all real, the burning bush, the voices, all of it was real. But obviously it took my brain a few seconds to get up to speed and get with reality. And once I figured out it was all but a dream, I started to calm down and my little bit of heavy breathing stopped.
But my heart wasn’t though, as it wasn’t stopping as I could feel my heart beat a little fast and a little bit harder than usual as I woke up. But that kind of happens when you’re deep into sleep, trying to get your necessary hours, but all of a sudden you’re awoken and interrupting your precious sleep. It hurt a little bit, but it is to be expected.
And after I was calmed down, with my heart still beating, I just continued to sit there. I didn’t stand up or went back to sleep, I just sat there on my side, just taking it easy. And when I did, I could feel a slight windy breeze pass me by as it gently touched my blue coat. It kind of felt good since I was starting to feel a little bit of heat, more than likely from the nightmare that I just had. So I sat there and just took in my surroundings again, even though nothing had changed.
I looked up and it was still night time, implying I wasn’t asleep for very long. My guess, it was about roughly thirty minutes of sleep that I had gotten. Not much, but it had to do for me since I felt like I didn’t want to go back to sleep. After that, I looked around me and it was still the cold hard dirt floor with the dead trees and a long ass train track that felt never ending.
And of course there was no burning, talking bush named Bob. I mean you could name the bush that I was near and name it Bob, but whatever. And after that, I just sat there and… relaxed for a bit. I just let my mind wonder around and think for a minute. And yes, I did think of some old, 80’s song as well, but my mind wasn’t clear as it was jumping from thought to thought, just taking it easy.
Sure, I would have preferred to take it easy in an actual bed, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. I just sat there, and enjoying the silence, and I was thankful I wasn’t starring down a barrel with TF behind the trigger. And somewhere in the far background, you could hear a cricket chirping, making music in the background. It was very atmospheric as well.
And then all of a sudden I heard a voice out of nowhere say to me, “Psst… hey buddy, you got a sec?”
And once I heard that, my eyes shot up wide as it could, and I looked around, scared and worried. That’s how the dream began, and somehow I could remember that part while it was all still fading away from my memory. But still, that’s what I recalled, and I had started to think that I was still in a dream and it was all just a dream within a dream.
But, as for my response, I just said to myself, “Is this still a dream?”
The voice however quickly responded me, with oddly a little laugh before and after it has spoke, “He. No you fucking idiot, its real life. He.”
I then asked out loud, while rubbing my forehead a little bit, with a confused look in my eyes, “Then how come I can still hear voices then? Am I going crazy and need to take medicine?”
The voice then said, “No you’re not you fucking faggot. He. This is all real.”
I then said, “Then how come I can’t see you then? Is it you Bob the Bush?”
The voice didn’t respond right away, almost as if he was thinking on what I was saying.
However, he then spoke up and said to me, “What!? No you fucking idiot! Of course it’s not the fucking bush.”
Clearly the voice had a mouth on him, but then again, who cares… oh right… Cow Tippers.
Well, whatever, I then said, “Then where are you then?”
The voice then said, “I’m right here and… oh… my apologizes, I thought I was out. Give me a moment.”
Then a rustling was coming from within the bushes. And once I heard that noise, my eyes remained wide open, as I slowly got up from the dirt ground and got on to my feet… hooves… whatever. And once I did, I slowly walked around the bush and on to the train tracks, pretty sure there wasn’t going to be another train for another few hours or so, and stood in front of where the leaves were moving around.
And as I was waiting for whatever was going to happen next, my eyes remained wide as it could, with a worried look on my face while tilting my head a little bit sideways, anticipating what was going to happen next. And after a few seconds of waiting, an apple rolled out of it, somewhat slowly, but not too slow, and it rolled towards me.
And as it rolled, it looked like it was going to hit my hooves, but then it suddenly stopped in its own tracks, almost as if an unknown forced stopped it. And then all I could hear was a muffling voice.
It sounded like it was trying to speak to me, but my eyes went away from a worried look and just into a plain old confusing look, with my eyes calming down a little bit. It was confusing nonetheless to say the least. But then the apple started to move all on its own, jiggling around a little while the muffled voice continued on. And soon, after the apple jiggled around a little, it finally made a full one hundred and eighty degree around turn and once it did, it had a face.
Yes, two sort of big, defined eyes, a little nose, and a sort of big mouth, with some thick eyebrows for whatever reason. He looked like the weird kind if he were a person… or a pony if you want to see it that way. And once he did, he gasped for air and had a little bit of a coughing fit real loudly for a few seconds.
And after he had gotten that out of his system, he then said to me, while shifting his eyes towards me, “Hey fucker! You think you can lend me a fucking hand here!?”
My eyes remained confused, but I went along with it and used my magic to lightly lift it off the ground and put him upright, and yes I’m assuming its gender, take that Cow Tippers, fucking eat it. Anyways, after I had set the talking apple down gently on the ground, in the upright position, I then sat on my pony ass, staring at it.
And after I was waiting, he then said to me, with a very expressive face that he had, and said to me, “Thank you… FUCK FUCKITY FUCK! THAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND FIND ME! FUCKING FINALLY!”
I ignored what he had to say, didn’t really care and was more interested in what he was actually, so I then asked him, “Uhh… can I ask who are you and why are you even alive?”
The apple then looked at me, as if I was some kind of retard and I should have known who or what he was.
But he then seemed to hold back his anger towards me a bit and he then said, “Who am I? WHO AM I!? Why I am the one that is in the myths and in the legends. I am what ponies tell in the dark when they are huddled around a campfire, late at night, wanting to tell a spooky story! I am what farmers fear every night, hoping not to find me hanging in their trees every night! I am a story that gets passed down from generation to generation, taking many forms, being changed here and there, but remain all the same! Do you still not fucking recognize me yet!?”
I then said with a calm tone in my voice, “No… I do not know who you are at all. Please enlighten me because it’s been a long night for me.”
I had said that while rolling my eyes backwards a bit and moving my head towards the left a little.
The apple didn’t seem too pleased with my response, so he then said to me, with an angered look with the face that he had along with a very unpleased tone in his voice, “I AM THE MOTHER FUCKING HAPPY APPLE YOU DIPSHIT!”
I then was taken aback by that a bit, well, my mind was. Instead, I just looked down a little bit, putting my right hoof on my chin and rubbing it a little bit, thinking about his name. After he had said his name, I got a little déjà vu for a moment, almost as if I was taken back into the past, almost like a nostalgic feeling a little bit for me.
It was a weird feeling in my head, but I had to think about it. I said quietly to myself, “Happy Apple? Where did I hear that one before? Happy Apple, happy Apple, Happy Apple. That sounds so familiar and…”
And after I had cut myself off, my eyes became wide as I had a shocking, not really, but you could pretend it was, revelation as to the name Happy Apple. It was that fucking story that Mac was telling us to me and Jack back when we had that weird sleepover thing, and when we had to kill that mafia guy and shit. I know it wasn’t that long ago when it happened, yet it felt like it was a thousand years since that had happened, I mean to me right now while writing this it does, but still.
But yeah… remember that? Remember when we killed that mafia guy because of what Mac and Jack did? Yeah… that was something. But it was that little campfire story that Mac had told us about the stupid apple and shit. To be quite honest, I had thought it was all fake and didn’t find it at all in the slightest of scary, if you could remember.
I hadn’t thought about that weird Happy Apple in a long while, it was sitting in the back of my mind; I didn’t even think it would be brought up again as long as I continued to live. But anyways, I looked towards the apple with my eyes and just stared at him for a few seconds.
And after just staring at him for a few seconds, Happy Apple then asked me with an unpleasant look, “What the fuck are you looking at you suckey mother fucker!”
I didn’t respond to that statement, I just continued to stare awkwardly at him because I didn’t expect to see that on that day. However, my eyes then lowered back down and it was calm once more, realizing it was real and it wasn’t a dream.
And so my eyes went back to normal and I then said to him, “Huh… I heard about you once… you know?”
Then Happy Apple asked me, “OF COURSE YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME YOU FUCKING RETARD!! EVERYPONY KNOWS WHO THE FUCK I AM! I AM THE UNDERGROUND!”
With his last comment, that sure sounded familiar, but my response was just rolling my eyes at him. Clearly he had a bit of an inflated ego, but since he was an apple and an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it is no wonder that Happy Apple would have had an inflated ego.
But whatever, Happy Apple then asked me, “So where did you hear me from you fucking mother fucker!”
I then said to him, “Some farmer named Mac told me about you while we were telling ghost stories. He sucked at telling it and it wasn’t at all that scary.”
The Happy Apple didn’t seem to have been too pleased with my comment with the look on his face and then said to me, with an angered, agitated voice, “NOT SCARY!? I AM THE MOST FEARED CREATURE OF THE NIGHT! YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF ME, FOR I WILL MAKE YOU GO INSANE AND HAVE YOU DO MY BIDDING! THE DEVIL AND THE DEMON IS WITHIN ME AS IT IS IN WITHIN YOU!”
I then said to him while looking down on him, fugitively, and literally, “Yeah that’s great to hear you autistic red prick. If it wasn’t for the face, I would eat you, or throw you away if you tasted like shit. But Mac was sure afraid of you; he was shivering too and was kind of afraid to sleep at night.”
The Happy Apple then said to me, “WELL HE SHOULD BE! So who’s Mac? He sounds familiar? Did I drive him insane and kill him or am I thinking of someone else?”
Happy Apple then proceeded to look down to the ground himself, pretty much implying he was trying to think. And as he was thinking, I then spoke up to sort of help him out a little and briefly explain who Mac was.
So I had said to the Happy Apple, “Mac is a farmer like I said. He’s related to Applejack and the others, but they disowned him so he’s pretty much a drunken lonely fuck these days… with possible child abuse on his hands.”
Happy Apple continued to not say a word and tried to remember who Mac was, assuming he had met him before.
But after what felt like a minute of pure silence that had gone by, he then gave that look of his face of remembrance and said to me, “Oh wait, I remember him. He’s that jerk that I tried to take as my next victim! I tried to lure him out one night but all he did was burp in my face, said I was Applejack, and took a piss on me. The fuck is his problem?”
He looked at me, as if I had a definitive answer to that question, but no one really has one but Mac himself.
But I did speak up and said to Happy Apple, “Yeah, I don’t know either. He’s usually like that, has a weird obsession problem with his cousin. But eh… you get used to it.”
Then Happy Apple went back to his thinking face and after a few more seconds of silence, he then said to me, “Now that I think of it, didn’t he have a little brother? I was sure I would have been able to get through to him and have him kill his little brother.”
I then said to Happy Apple, “I think you’re already late to the party with that one. I’m pretty sure he has already killed a family member.”
The Happy Apple had a surprised look on his face and he said, “Really!? Who? When?”
I then said to Happy Apple, “I have no clue when, but it was his father that’s been on the couch that just lays there face down. Don’t ask me how; I wouldn’t want to ask him even if it meant my life.”
Happy Apple then looked down a bit, looking down in the dumps and a bit disappointed, as he said “Huh…”
real quick. After that he then said, “Well that sucks, he’s taking my job damn it. Especially since you say he’s related to Applejack. I’ve been trying to get the Apple family for years, but I have never been able to get them because they know of me, you know? Not like everypony does, but some of the bigger ones knows, so they see me, they fucking kick my ass.
‘I can’t even get to the weaker ones; it ruins my purpose in life. I even tried going to that Applejack mare, but she never notices me. And knowing that Mac is related to Applejack and to the rest of that… that FUCKING APPLE KLAN… it embarrasses me that I can’t even get him. If I were to get the Apple family, I would hit the big time you know? I would make it big and be with the other legends out there. But now I’m fucked and stuck down here… you know?”
I then looked at Happy Apple and said to him, “No, I don’t know there… Happy Apple… I am not a living, breathing, talking apple that has a desire to stalk others because of a weird fetish that I have. So if you can so kindly please fuck off and leave me be so I can get back home, that would be great.”
I then turned back towards the direction that I was going in originally, staring down the tracks and looking forward to where I needed to go in order to get back home.
And as I turned and was about to walk away from Happy Apple, I said to him sort of, but somewhat to myself, a little bit underneath my breath, “I’ve had enough sidetracks for one night god damn it.”
However, Happy Apple then said; with a bit of a worried look on his face to me, “WAIT, DON’T GO YET! THERE’S A REASON WHY I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU!”
I then slowly turned my head with a bit of a cynical look on my face, while still not turning my body around fully, just my head, and looked him straight in the eyes and asked Happy Apple, “Then why the fuck didn’t you get to that earlier instead of boring me with your sad sob story of what you call a life?”
Happy Apple then stared at me, sort of had that taken aback looked, as he looked at me and said to me, “Well damn, you didn’t have to be rude about it. I was just trying to open up a little bit; trying to tell you that of what I know and shit.”
And all I had going in my head was, ‘The irony is sad a little bit,’ because you know… he was rude himself, that rude fuck. But I just responded with him while squinting my eyes a little bit towards him, giving a sign of I’m on to him, and said, “We just met each other… on the side of a train tracks with you coming out of the bushes.”
Happy Apple then said to me, “Well at least I didn’t come out of the closet like a pedo loving, but plugging pedo faggot. I mean can’t strangers talk to each other?”
I then gave him a straight answer to him, “No.”
Although to be fair I’m kind of conflicted with that response since I guess if you wanted to, you could do what Happy Apple suggested. I wouldn’t recommend it, but you could. Unless you say the N word (Terms and conditions apply only to Earth) or the Nigger word.
As the rules go, if you dare say the dreaded N word, god will come down and smite you while causing the apocalypse and have everyone’s face melt off with Peter Griffin demons rising from underneath the Earth, waiting to claim the souls of all autistics with a highly likely chance of bombs going off, World War Eleven will start, and the battle of the angles and demons will follow suit with bananas coming to eat people’s legs at night… all because one person said the word Nigger.
That’s the real reason the word is forbidden because the Angle Michael went to Earth in the 1800’s, saw all the slaves, grabbed the whip, went up to the white guys, and patted them on the back and said they did a great job while handing them the whip to whip the slaves some more.
But when he got back to heaven, it turns out he was black out drunk when he did it and had a hangover the next morning and he started to get heat with what he did, so he cursed the word to cover up his tracks and get rid of those that question it as well as tying up some loose ends as well. Well that’s the story anyway.
Sure, it’s a story that northern whites tell their kids at night before going to bed to spook them so they can behave the next day, but you never know if it’s true or not. I mean… who knows right? I mean would you mess with an Ouija board just by the off chance that it is fake?
Well maybe yeah, maybe you would, and so would I, but that’s only because I’m drunk and lonely and need someone to talk to. That and if you’re gay, maybe you can get a date with a demon or some shit like that, assuming you have those kinks anyways that is.
Aside from that, Happy Apple then said to me, “Well that doesn’t matter. Just don’t leave yet, I need to tell you something! Something very important that you need to know! It can be a matter between life and death!”
I then hanged my head in distress and gave a loud sigh under my breath, as I closed my eyes and tried to bottle up all the emotions that I was feeling at that moment.
And after a few quick seconds to gather all those feelings and put it somewhere, all bottled up, almost ready to burst just like a volcano that had been awaiting to erupt for thousands of years; I thought it through and said to Happy Apple as I looked at him, “Fine, my heart is beating fast, I’m tired, I want to get home, and I will bitch about this to the moon, but FINE, let’s hear it.”
So I then slowly turned my body around and went back to the place where I was standing before I moved and then sat on my pony ass, with still a cynical look on my face. I had my full attention turned to Happy Apple so I wasn’t rude like him. And as soon as I got my pony ass in a comfortable position, I then stared at him and waited for a response.
But you could take one good look in my eyes and what it would say to you is, ‘Spit it out already, I’m tired. Fucking speak up mother fucker before I beat you senseless… and then I go back home and beat my wife senseless because I’m still mad about what you did before. And then I would tell her that if anyone asks about the marks, just say that the door raped you. And if the police come, then I’m taking them down with me.
And to smooth the deal I’ll buy her some jewelry, don’t fucking worry about my marriage you fucking fuckity fucker! That’s right, I said the F word three times in a row, and I have the balls to do it just like I have the balls to slap you around like a fucking Barbie doll. Please…’
Yeah, that kind of a look I had my eyes that night. So I was silent and was waiting on Happy Apple’s response.
So, he then said to me, “Ok good, there is a reason why I spoke to you… in the bushes… In fact I was relieved when somepony came here. I didn’t think there was going to be anypony to help me!”
I then asked him, while squinting at him a little bit more than last time, mostly because I was on to him, “Where are you going with this?”
Happy Apple then said to me, “Just stay with me on this, alright? I need your help!”
He started to look very worried, almost as if he was scared as little sweats, assuming he had sweat glands to begin with, was coming down across his face.
So Happy Apple then continued to say to me, “I swear if you help me, I will make it up to you. NO! I will make sure you will be sparred and will not die by my own power when I capture my next victim! Hell, I’ll even make you my number 2 if I get a chance to take over the minds of everypony here in this Equestria, just a little dream of mine, no biggie, nothing to worry about.”
He was quick to say that last part, almost as if he was embarrassed as he had a look with shifty eyes as if he was worried anyone else would hear what he had to say to me.
I then said quietly under my breath, “Not that you were threatening to begin with.”
He didn’t hear it, I’m pretty sure that is, and I then went and said to him out loud, “Get to the point.”
I had said it with a bit of low energy, cynicism in my voice.
So Happy Apple then said to me, “Ok ok ok, just give a minute. I’m not sure how to put this to you.”
So Happy Apple looked frustrated, and unsure what to do, as I sat there, annoyingly waiting for what he had to say. I should have just high tailed it out of there, but I wasn’t rude and waited for what he had to say to me. So as I waited, with manners, but still with a cynical look on my face, Happy Apple had closed his eyes, trying to think his words carefully.
But eventually he got his answer and he then opened back up his eyes and stared at me hard and said to me, “THE ORANGES ARE COMING!”
He had said it as loud as he could, while even pushing his face a little outwards it had seemed, like he was putting all the effort he could into what he wanted to say to me. He was scarred as sweat dripped down from his shiny, red surface… and other facial features.
However, I was unmoved by his speech, and had my body language, as well as slightly moving my pony forearms and said to him calmly, “Alright, I’m out of here…”
However, he was quick to stop me and he said, “DON’T GO! LET ME EXPLAIN! The oranges are coming!”
So I then decided to stay and wait for him to explain it all to me, as I then said to him, “Oranges?”
I had a bit of a confused look on my face, but at the same that look that says, “Riiiiiight... surrrrrreeee it is…”
That kind of look… not all looks are that hard to explain. Anyways, Happy Apple then said to me, “Yeah man, it’s the oranges! You don’t understand man; they’re the real MOTHER FUCKING DEAL MAN! THE ORANGES! THEY’RE COMING! WE’RE DOOMED! I’M DOOMED! WE ARE ALL DOOOOOOOOOMED!!! ONCE THEY GET THEIR WAY, THEY WILL BE NOTHING STOPPING THEM IN THEIR WAKE OF DESTRUCTION! THE ORANGES ARE COMING! ORANGES!!! FUCKING ORANGES!!! WE ARE ALL DEAD MAN! FUCKING DEAD!!! I WIL BE OUT OF A JOB, MORE THAN LIKELY DEAD BECAUSE OF THE ORANGES! But… but… then you came… you, are the knight in shining armor that can save the day from the oranges. You can stop them… because you’re bigger than me and have appendages, so you have that going for you.”
While I was curious as to why he was saying man, if all that he had seen was ponies, but that was an unimportant question. I mean, who knows by this point… if samurai’s can walk in unannounced, why not talking apples saying man when they have lived in a world (for the most part) nothing but with ponies.
Anyways, I then just stared at him and while I didn’t feel like dealing with his sorry ass, I refrained myself from walking away… yet… I asked him, “Can you please explain to me why I should even be afraid of oranges to begin with there Happy Apple?”
Happy Apple continued to be scarred, in fact scarred more than ever if I had to guess, and he said to me, “ARE YOU BLIND!? DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT ORANGES EVEN MEAN!? THE ORANGES ARE DEATH! THEY ARE DEATH! THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED! THE END IS NEIGH FOR US ALL!”
Then Happy Apple started to smile and calm down a bit, and he looked up at me with hopeful eyes and said to me, “But you’re here. Finally, a knight to save us all from certain doom! You can beat the oranges! THE PROHECY HAS FORTOLD THAT A KNIGHT WILL COME AND SAVE THE DAY AND DEFEAT THE ENEMY, THE ORANGES! WE ARE ALL SAVED FOR THE FUTURE HAS NOW BECOME THE PRESENT!”
I didn’t believe a single word that he was saying, and I just ended up rolling my eyes a little bit and said to him, “And please, go on… where did you hear this future premonition from Happy Apple?” I had said it in a sarcastic kind of tone, but still sort of meant the question, as I was interested as to where he had pulled his answer from. My bet was that he pulled it up from his ass. In fact… PLACE YOUR BETS, PLACE YOUR BETS! WHERE DO YOU THINK HE GOT HIS PREDICTION OF THE FUTURE FROM!? PLACE YOUR BETS, PLACE YOUR BETS! I’VE GOT ONE FOR PULLING IT OUT OF THIN AIR! I’VE GOT TWO FOR PULLING IT OUT OF A CEREAL BOX! I’VE GOT SEVEN FOR PULLING IT OUT OF SETH ROGAN’S BASMENT… that he keeps all of the kids locked in… as he forces them to watch his comedy movies and to tell him that he is funny… they can never leave.
Anyways, you all got your bets? No? Don’t care, moving on. So Happy Apple said to me, with a big ol’, kind of surreal, since it’s coming from a talking apple with a face on it, smile with big white shining teeth being shown in front.
He said to me with eagerness, “I smoked a bunch of crack!”
He just smiled as he said that. He was serious too since he had said it with a straight face as well. He had meant it, and in my mind it did not sit well. Well, it’s not like I had any expectations to begin with, but clearly me not being rude wasted myself sometime, so I did the only thing that I could do in that kind of situation.
I gave a little sigh, as Happy Apple said to me with his bright smile still well in view and hope in his voice, “So, can you fight the oranges off and save us all from certain doom… especially saving me in the process?”
I then gave another, slightly louder sigh than the last sigh that I had given and then I started to turn around a little bit, sort of turning my back towards him and walking backwards, sort of like walking around a little bit while still giving him attention. I then moved my head slowly to the side and made it look like I had some interest in what he was saying.
And as I was turning around, and had an ok look on my face and eyes, I said to him calmly, “I think I could maybe do something to help you and save you from the oranges and…”
Before I cut myself off, Happy Apple looked like that things had turned around for him and that there was hope for him after all. He seemed eager to hear my answer from me. And as I was walking a bit backwards and distancing myself a little from Happy Apple, at the part where I cut myself off, I rushed Happy Apple, at least with the distance that where we were apart from each other, and brought my right fore hoof back and then let it swing.
In other words I gave Happy Apple a really good kick, pretty much in his face, and had him flying through the nearby woods and through the dead, lifeless trees.
And as he was flying and caught off guard by the surprise kick that I had given him, he yelled out, with a surprised look on his face, but nothing of disgust, “I KNOW WHERE YOU LIIIIIIIIIVVVEEE!!!”
He had said that as his voice slowly was faded out into the distance, as his apple body landed somewhere in the dark, lonely, empty, somewhat scary dead forest, in the middle of the cold snow. And spoilers he didn’t know where I lived. Just saying for the record. And after I had gave him a kick, I had a little smile on my face in satisfaction that it was over.
Talking to an annoying apple was… well annoying. And with that being said and done, I had said to myself, “Well that takes care of that… back on track to go back home.” And so, with still a little smile on my face and having my eyes closed in confidence, I started to walk towards the direction I was going in and was going to be on my way back to Stalia… until the Oranges stopped me.
And there was a whole gang of them too. And in a land of Technicolor, talking ponies with magic involved, it fitted right in, nothing unusual here. Anyways, when I mean by a whole gang of them, I mean by what looked like a whole army of oranges. But really it was like somewhere in the range of one hundred to two hundred oranges. Take that back, maybe a thousand oranges, oh who gives a fuck, it was a lot of oranges. And they were all in a group.
They weren’t lined up or looked neat in an organized way, they were somewhat scattered. But they were close together, signifying they were all together in a group. However, the very front of the gang of oranges was lead by a leader, who’s only look that signified it to be the leader when compared to the other oranges in the gang was that it had a little mustache on it.
Pretty much an opposite to a Hitler mustache. A bit of hair on both sides, just nothing in the middle. It was real Italian like too. Also note, none of the oranges had any facial features unlike how Happy Apple did. They were just blank. Anyways, they were all rolling in towards my direction, and the way they stopped me was that they were rolling in; my mind was in another place with my eyes closed, just strutting along the train tracks.
And then right before I continued to walk, a very heavy Italian accent said out loud to me, “Hey! Watch where you’re stepping their bud!”
It was a very deep tone of voice too, Italian like I should say. And once I heard that voice, my eyes became wide and a little concerned because I was kind of tired to the interruptions, but was also worried as to what next that I had stumbled upon. So, with my eyes being shocked and looked like they were going to pop out of its socket and run away like a cartoon from Looney Toons, I looked around and I saw that whole gang of oranges was just sitting there. However I didn’t assume that the voice came from the oranges, even though Happy Apple did warn me about them to begin with, but my mind didn’t believe any of it.
But I saw it and I said somewhat queerly, but not too low though, “Hello?”
Then the heavy Italian accent came back and said to me, “Down here you fucking tool!”
I then turned my head downwards and there I saw it, the leader of this orange gang that had an Italian like mustache. My eyes remained wide as they could as I just stared at an orange. If seeing a talking apple with human features that didn’t have manners wasn’t enough, how about some talking oranges? To say the least, I was speechless.
I just stared at the leader of the gang of oranges, as the leader of the Orange Mafia Gang, I’d assume since there were no pair of eye balls or other human related features on it that it was staring at me. My guess was because of due to the fact that the mustache was pointed towards my face at a certain degree; my logical guess was that it could sense where I was sort of at like the xenomorph from Aliens.
I’d also assume it could sense where the sheckles are at just like how the Jew can hear a penny drop from five hundred miles away as well. That and I’m sure it could also sense the Jew especially. I can’t confirm that, but I’d assume since it had no eyes to begin with. I mean maybe they could sense the Jews, and maybe they couldn’t. And why bring up the Jews you might ask?
Well anything that doesn’t have the gift of sight automatically can sense when a Jew is nearby. As one crazy hambone from Texas in a wheelchair once said, the foreskin on a Jew represents God’s people and that they are the chosen ones when God comes down with his dick on the table and ready to throw it down WWE style on Earth.
Although that’s the saying as it goes from some skeleton guy with no legs from Texas, so don’t take the word for it one hundred percent. Anyways, I just stared at the orange, not sure what to do, my muscles tightened, and my mind wondering what to say or what to do next. Should I just run away? Should I try to talk to the gang of oranges? Do I take an orange and… slowly bite into one… and see how a living… breathing… orange taste like?
I’ve seen the orange people before, and I’ve always wondered what they taste like. Imagine it, the orange people taste like oranges. And if you want to know about the orange people, well let’s just say we don’t talk about the orange people. They live in the sewers in Detroit that much I’ll say.
But you don’t talk about the orange people; it is something you don’t want to mess with. If you want to find the Orange people, you don’t go looking for the orange people, the orange people look for you.
And you’ll know when they are looking for you when you see orange people looking at you from the sewers. And don’t fuck with the Orange people either, they killed a little pancake waffle boy once. He was just playing with his toys out one sunny day and then the Orange people asked if they could touch his hand.
He said no, so they went ape shit and dragged him into the sewers, never to be seen again. But you’ve got to wonder how the Orange people taste. Does their blood taste like orange juice? Only one can wonder, but that’s what I was thinking… right now.
I didn’t know the Orange people then, but I did wonder how the Orange Mafia Gang still tasted though.
Anyways, I just stood there on all four of my pony legs, watched and wondered, and then all I got in return from the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia was that he said to me, “It’s rude to stare fuck boy…”
And then an orange near the leader, in the front of the gang of oranges, with no distinctive features I mind you, rolled up next to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, and assuming he was looking at me, said to me in a very high pitched Italian voice, “When you look at our boss, you’re look at him with respect!”
It was also slightly jolting around when it was talking too. And once that orange was done talking, it jumped up all the way towards my face, and it felt like it gave me a little slap. Yet, the slap felt strong enough to where it moved my head to the side a little bit. I could feel almost as if it had hands that weren’t there slapping my pony face to the side.
It wasn’t that hard, like a black guy slapping his wife because he is out of fentanyl. Yet, it felt strong enough to where you could feel something, where it made you think it was going to leave a mark, despite it not leaving a mark at all. It was… weird to say the least, especially when an orange rolls right up to you and slaps you across the face like you’re his bitch or something. Next thing you know, that fucking orange is going to slap your ass.
And that orange is going to potentially slap your ass too. And we all know that when an orange slaps your ass, you are seven times more likely, or a seventy seven percent chance to being raped by that orange. IT’s a fact, look at the statistics.
And don’t give me that, “But those numbers are inflated. NNN fact checked it and the numbers are blah blah blah…”
crap. The numbers are true; you can look it up for yourselves on Google. Just becareful not to click on Orange Lives Matter, that site is a scam and will take your money. Hell it’s even in the fine print, they’ll take your money and it goes towards ACT Orange, which is a secret government thing as the conspiracy theories goes.
But anyways, after having an orange slap me across the face, and feeling a bit embarrassed since an orange did slap me across the face after all, the orange that slapped me landed back safely on the ground and I’d assume was satisfied with slapping me. And then after that he rolled back into the gang of oranges, almost as if he hadn’t rolled out of the gang of oranges at all.
Hell, I couldn’t even tell which orange bitched slapped me. All of the oranges looked the same to me. Now I know that sounds racists, but come on, all oranges look alike. It’s the truth damn it! You can’t deny it, I can’t deny it, hell, even the oranges themselves can’t deny it… ok maybe they can since I’m sure they can tell each other part. But to everyone else, they can’t.
Call me a racist but I’m only speaking the truth here. Don’t bitch at me, go bitch at the God who made living, talking oranges. Anyways, once that happened, I just turned back my head and continued to stare at the leader of the Oranges Gang Mafia.
However, not to be bitch slapped again by an orange, I actually spoke up to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, and I said to him, “Are you real right now?”
The leader of the Orange Gang Mafia then said to me, “Of course I’m real you dummy filato! I’m real as I can be! And if you ever do say that again, I’m going to make you regret your words!”
And then, assuming I’m correct, even when looking back, the same orange that bitch slapped me from before came rolling back up right next to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, and said to me in a high pitched Italian voice, “Yeah! The Boss is going to get you real good next time if you don’t show a little respect towards him! He’ll stab ya! He’ll stab you real good! He’ll whack you and no one will know where your body is buried. And after you’re dead, we’ll go for your family too! Your wife will regret ever fucking ya and making some babies with ya!
‘She is going to wish she had swallowed her kids instead and just had that one night stand instead of committing to an everlasting relationship in the house of God, while promising her parents she is going to find a husband to make her father a grandpa! And your kids, we’ll sell them on the black market! I hear little boys and girls oranges go for a pretty high price these days see!? So next time, you better think what you say, you got it you nickel bottom scuffy!?”
The leader of the Orange Gang Mafia then slightly turned around towards the, what I’d assume was his number two, and said to him, “Alright that’s enough Sciffy. Calm down and ease on the threats. We’ve had this talk before; we don’t go there right away. Just hang back with the others and be patient. I’ll talk to this fella over here.”
And then Sciffy, a weird name for an orange, then said to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, “Yeah boss. Right away boss. Got it boss. It never will happen again boss. Love ya boss.”
And then as Sciffy was rolling away back to his group of oranges, the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia turned his attention back towards me and said, “Yeah, you’re good orange there Sciffy. I just hope you don’t mean that in a gay way.”
He then turned his conversation towards me and said to me, “He’s a god orange Sciffy is. Don’t take his words too seriously. We don’t actually kill kids; he just says that to scare my enemies and potential business rivals away. We actually frown upon killing kids. In fact if we ever kill a husband and wife, may God forgive me of those sins, we take the kids in as one of our own, especially if they’re real young. We adopt them into our family and take real good care of them. Sometimes it makes me really proud of how they turned out to be. Got to love those kids.”
Either the oranges were pedophiles or the oranges had a good heart… after killing their victims. But either way, when he said about the part about God forgiving him of killing others, I’m assuming he was referring to an orange God or an orange Jesus, he was looking upwards towards the sky when he said it, almost as if Orange God and Orange Jesus was bearing witness to our little conversation.
But the idea of there being an Orange God and an Orange Jesus was odd. But then it can feel like there’s a God and a Jesus for everything else these days. I guess there could be a Jesus and a toucan Jesus and Chinese Jesus. Chinese Jesus died for your rice. And Jew Jesus died for your sheckles. I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes, right?
Well anyways, the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia then continued to say to me, “Anyways, how are you? How are you doing on this fine night? Don’t mind the dead body we buried back there, it doesn’t exist. What dead body you might ask? We didn’t say anything about a dead body. And if you say anything to the police and rat us out, I’ll cut you, and I mean it too. Hi, my name is Donny, I’m the godfather of our little organization known as the Orange Gang Mafia. Or Orange Mafia Gang, either way is acceptable to us. But you better not misspell it or we’ll cut you in your sleep.”
Sciffy then moved a little bit forward from his little group and spoke up real loudly towards me, “YEAH, THE BOSS IS GOING TO CUT YOU REAL GOOD! WE DON’T LIKE RATS! YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO TO RATS!? WE FUCKING CUT THEM LIKE A MOTHA FUCKER YOU MOTHA FUCKER!”
Donny then turned his… body… a little bit towards Sciffy and he then said to him, “Sciffy! What did I just say! You’re out of line!”
Sciffy then looked towards Donny and said to him in a pussy type of tone, “Yes boss! Sorry boss! Won’t happen again boss! It was only a force of habit boss!”
And then Sciffy went back into his spot back into the mob of oranges and Donny turned his attention back towards me.
Donny then said to me as he looked up towards me, “Don’t mind him. Sciffy is a good kid. In fact he was one of those adopted kids we took into the family. He has mental problems though, autism I think, but the doctor isn’t for sure. But he’s still a good kid with a good heart. Just give him a chance, he’ll warm up to you. So anyways, where were we before that autistic little shit interrupted? Oh yeah, hi, my name is Donny, nice to me you...”
And after he had said that, I continued to stare at him with big, wide eyes, while still paying attention as to what was going on and there was only a few seconds of awkward silence between the two of us. I was wondering if I had to respond next or if he had mental problems as well and was waiting for the right moment to respond himself, yet nothing came of it.
However after a few seconds of silence, Donny then said to me, “It’s rude to just stand there and not shake my hand you know?”
And then Sciffy, once again, rolled back out of his spot amongst the mob of oranges a little bit, looked towards me and said to me, “DON’T BE RUDE! SHAKE THE BOSS’S HANDS YOU NO RAT MOTHA FUCKER! ARE YOU A RAT! YOU BETTER NOT BE A RAT! YOU KNOW WHAT WE TO DO RATS LIKE YOU? WE CUT THEM! WE CUT THEM WELL GOOD AND DEEP AND…”
Sciffy was then cut off as Donny the looked back towards Sciffy in full attention to him and yelled towards him, “SCIFFY, WHAT DID I JUST SAY!”
Sciffy then looked downwards and looked ashamed of himself and said to Donny, “You said to ease on the threats boss…”
Donny then asked Sciffy, “And what did you just do?”
Sciffy then responded again with a shameful tone in his voice, “I didn’t ease up on my threats boss.”
Donny then said to Sciffy, “Do I have to punish you again Sciffy?”
Sciffy then seemed to have jolted up a little bit once he had heard that word being aimed at towards him as he then quickly responded with a nervous tone in his voice, “No, not at all boss! There is no need for you to use the needle again boss! I swear I’ll do what I’m told!”
Donny then said to Sciffy with a threatening tone in his voice, “I’ll do it Sciffy. I’ll fill the needle with air and inject it into your body when you’re sleeping! I’ll do it again you son of a bitch. You may be part of the family, but you’re not blood related, you got it Sciffy?”
Sciffy then silently nodded up and down, giving a clear response to Donny.
And then Donny said to Sciffy, “Don’t ever cross me again mother fucker. I mean it… or else your body is going to be buried next… capche?”
Sciffy then once again, slowly nodded up and down to Donny, and Donny left it as that.
As that was cleared up between him and Sciffy, Donny then turned his full attention back towards me and he said to me, “Sorry about that. Kids, am I right? I love that kid. He’s a good kid with a heart of gold. He’s going to make me proud one of these days. I even swear of it in front of God. But I also swear in front of God that I’ll put the pillow over him when he’s sleeping when he isn’t expecting it. So anyways, where were we? Oh yeah, Hi, I’m Donny, it’s very nice to meet you…”
And once again, there was a few seconds of awkward silence between us. All the while, my eyes remained wide and awake, as I was looking talking oranges that had formed a Mafia. And that there was also an autistic orange as well. I mean, that was nothing new, I already saw a famous autistic orange on the internet way back when. But that’s beside the point; it was still pretty mellow out there. Yet somehow I have a hard time trying to wrap my mind around these kind of things.
I’ve been to the outside of the universe before, so this shouldn’t surprise me, yet it somehow does every time. Who would have known?
Anyways, the seconds of awkward silence continued to grow, and after those few seconds of silence had passed, Donny then said to me, “Are you going to shake my hand or what? Don’t just leave an orange hanging out here in the cold like that...”
And after he had said that, a few second more of awkward silence filled the air, mostly because I had trouble trying to figure out what he had wanted me to do. I mean, he was just an orange with an Italian mustache. There were not hands or feet or eyes or anything like that.
And truth be told, I was scared what to do next, so I asked him, with a surprised tone in my voice, “Do you have hands?”
Donny then said, with a bit of a higher tone towards me, almost as if he was the tiniest bit insulted from my comment, “Of course I do! We all have hands! Don’t you see it?”
I then said while shaking my head, “No… no I don’t see it Donny. I think I’m still in a dream right now… Am I still in a dream right now?”
Donny then turned his body a little bit downwards as he said to himself under his breath, “Fucking racist these days, no respect I tell ya, no respect at all.”
Of course I was close enough to hear him say that, and all I have to say is how am I the racist here? I didn’t see any fucking arms or hands, let alone an actual face! How could I see that he had arms at all!? HE WAS A FUCKING ORANGE! AN ORANGE I TELL YA! A FUCKING ORANGE THAT TALKED!
And somehow I’m the racist? And I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking about that, “Well you see there Knight, that’s just because you have color blind racism. You have privilege over others that the oranges don’t have. You need to bow down and kneel before them and was their feet you Orangist.”
Don’t give me that fucking crap. We may be able to agree that Biggers belong in the back of the ovens, but fucking oranges, who gives a shit? Their lives don’t matter, I mean how does color blind even fit into this at all? I can’t see shit!
How is it my fault that I can’t see their supposed arms? They were fucking oranges! They didn’t have feet! But oh no, I’m the bad guy you say because I didn’t see the orange’s hand to shake. And yeah I know this is all hypothetical, but I’m assuming when this journal hits you guys back on Earth, it’s the future and your future overloads are oranges.
Or maybe it’s the turkeys, either way something has happened to where you would side with the oranges from my experience and say that I’m a racist. Hey, I’m just trying to cover all bases here and make sure I’m covered.
And if I am wrong and you side with me, or just don’t flat out care… well then thank you very much… you fuckers. But let’s not go there; just know this… the oranges were being racist towards me. Because it is racist not to assume that I couldn’t see their arms… or is racist to assume that I couldn’t see their arms… I… think it’s the… SHIT UP!
Alright, going back to what happened now. So after Donny had said that under his breath, he seemed a bit frustrated because I couldn’t for see his arms that were supposedly in front of him.
So he just gave a slight sigh, a sigh that I could hear, and he then said to me, “Look, we do have arms, just reach other and shake it.”
And then in which case I complied, not really thinking about the whole racist accusation bit until later on in my journey, but whatever. So I reached out my right forearm and went close to the Donny’s supposed arms as close as I possibly can without actually touching his orange filled body. And to my surprise I think I had felt something as I know I didn’t touch his orange body, yet I felt like I felt something.
It’s almost as if the oranges were using the force. But don’t think about that thought any further, they weren’t from an alternate universe from the Star Wars shit, trust me, I checked. Like I said, I cover my bases. But yeah, once I slowly reached out and carefully touched his supposed hands, we slowly shook it up and down with friendly intentions and open arms…. metaphorically of course…
And just to make it clear, I did not touch that orange in a sexual manner. I know some Cow Tippers out there think when you’re just a few centimeters away from touching the orange and you’re shaking his hand, it counts as sex, but I did not. Bill Clinton probably did though while his cat filmed it and had his dick play the saxophone to the tune of Power in the Darkness. Trust me, it’s a good song to play the sax to, or at least so I’m told.
So after we had shook hands with each other, my arms went back to its original place and I had to assume the same happened to Donny as well. So after that, we once again remained silent with each other. And once again it became that awkward type of silence as well.
And after a few more seconds of pure silence that went on by, Donny then looked at me in my eyes, assumingly that is, and said to me, “You know it’s rude not to talk.”
And then Sciffy immediately rolled forward a little bit and started to yell towards me while looking at me, “YEAH! LEARN SOME MANNERS YOU FUCKING…”
However Sciffy was then sadly cut off short as Donny had interrupted him and had yelled at him while turning around to look at him, but not completely, “I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME SCIFFY, I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU SMOTHERED IN YOUR SLEEP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE TONIGHT SCIFFY!?”
Sciffy then seemed to cower in fear, at least as far as an orange can cower in fear can, and was shivering in fear a little bit as well. He looked to be frightened and was really spooked by Donny’s words.
Sciffy remained silent though and didn’t respond towards Donny, which angered Donny even more as Donny then yelled towards Sciffy, “ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PIECE OF SHOULD HAVE BEEN UNBORN PIECE OF FUCKING TRASH THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED FOR SPAGHETTI I MOTHER FUCKA!”
Sciffy then continued to remain afraid of Donny, but he then seemed to try to conjure up some words from deep within, and he soon replied with to his boss, “No Boss. Sorry Boss. I didn’t mean to…”
Donny then cut him off and he then said to Sciffy with a calmer tone in his voice, but still stern and with authority at the same time to Sciffy, “I don’t want to say it again to you Sciffy. If you step out of line one more time, I swear to Orange Jesus Christ that you will die by my hands. Your autistic ass is mine if you even think about it. So unless I tell you to do something, you don’t do anything at all. Do we understand each other now Sciffy? Or do I have to show you a reminder of what happens when you go against the family?”
Sciffy was too scared to say a single word towards Donny, and yet Donny didn’t seem too pleased with Sciffy’s quiet response. To him, silence was not a valid answer.
However, he didn’t seem to have been pushed over the edge to the point where he wanted to strangle Sciffy… yet… so he then looked over to two oranges that were sitting right next to Sciffy, and he told them in a calm and commanding voice, “Show him fellas. Remind Sciffy what happens when he doesn’t do what he is told.”
The two oranges right next to Sciffy didn’t have any features on them to tell them apart, other than the two oranges happened to be really close right next to each other, like a pair of oranges that were kind of gay together, but not close enough to be considered to be gay. And no one wants a pair of gay oranges. Not even… the gay oranges… But what am I saying, I’m not an orange. For all I know gay oranges are like gay oranges.
Because we all know gay oranges only like the positive and happy stuff. I mean what did you think I meant by when I said gay? What, no one says gay when they’re happy anymore? Well, back in my day… ok never mind, some other time I suppose.
Anyways, the pair of oranges that seemed to be together didn’t say a single word to each other and they just gave a slight nod towards Donny, without a word in silence.
They understood their objective and they then rolled away through the direction that I was supposed to have been going, right before the Orange Gang Mafia stopped me in my tracks… while on the tracks… it happened to me. And they pretty much disappeared into the crowd of oranges and couldn’t be seen at least from my own eyes.
And after that, it went back to some more silence, but mostly because we were all waiting patiently for the return of the pair of oranges to return with something, at least according to what Donny had said to them to do. And so we sat there in silence for a few seconds with the wind passing me by with my eyes still wide opened and waiting in anticipation as to see what else would happen next.
And in that silence, while awaiting the return of the pair of oranges that had left us, Donny then slowly turned around towards me and said very calmly, “It uh… takes a while for them to show them what I mean to Sciffy. Just bare with me here, we’ll get back to you in a little bit. I just need to do this thing real quick. You understand, right?”
I just stared blankly at him, not saying a word towards him.
And after a few seconds between us had passed, he just slowly turned around while saying underneath his breath to himself, “Yeah, of course you don’t respond you insensitive fucking prick motha fucka… your parents should have put you through the wood chipper when you were ten.”
He had said that softly to himself, but I could still hear it but I was still shocked that I was seeing talking oranges before me. Also Sciffy seemed to have calmed down and was awaiting to see the example that Donny had planned for him to see and he wasn’t shivering in fear or anything like that.
He was pretty much just chilling like the rest of the oranges, almost as if nothing had happened at all and this was just me tripping on acid. And yeah, no… I didn’t trip on acid, I can confirm. Anyways, as soon a moment had passed by as well as the cold windy air, the pair of oranges finally came back.
And you could have seen them coming from a distance because they were carrying a grey colored earth pony towards my direction, as I looked up and saw that. And they were carrying it on their backs, and rolling with the pony, who has had a grey-ish blue colored mane and tale. Also it was a stallion as well to be more specific, and he had seemed to be in distress as well I mean, hey, I would be in distress too if oranges kidnapped me and was rolling me away from civilization and into the woods right next to some train tracks.
In fact I think its most people’s worst nightmares. Forget about getting in a car crash, getting in a plane accident, or giving a presentation, getting kidnapped by oranges is the new fear. And the chances are never zero either. I would like for you be reminded about that especially since it is true that a pair of oranges from another universe can come knocking on your door at anytime to kidnap you and possibly do unspeakable things to you too as well.
Anyways, the pair of oranges were slowly moving through the crowd of oranges and slowly bringing the pony right near me, and as the pony got closer and closer, he was moving around and struggling to break free. However, the closer he got the more clear it was to see that he was tied up with some rope.
He wasn’t screaming, but his eyes were closed as he gritted his teeth, trying to break free from his new orange overloads. Who knows, maybe he was afraid of being a slave to the oranges and being called a pogger. Too soon? Yeah I know… 5,000 years too soon.
Anyways, eventually the pair of oranges came back to their original position, right next to Sciffy of course, and as soon as they reached that spot, they stopped in their tracks and threw the stallion off their backs near me, or right in front of me that is. As they threw him, it was like he was nothing but a weightless paper weight as a bit of a thump sound was made when he hit the cold, hard dirt floor, right next to the train tracks.
And when that happened, my eyes just followed where the pony was and where he landed at. And how he landed was on his back with him still trying to break free of the binds that held him down. And once he hit the ground, he seemed to be in some sort of pain too, a little beat up perhaps as I spotted a little bruise on his face. And as soon as he landed, he seemed to have given up all hope and just accepted his fate from the oranges. He came to the conclusion that the oranges were the judge, jury, and executioner.
The oranges would be his end, and there was nothing that he could do about it. However he then moved his head up to look around his surroundings in anguish, and as he did very slowly and carefully due to his achy muscles and broken bones that he could feel throughout his worn down body, he spotted me.
And once he did, his eyes too went wide as they could just like mind and lit, and a little bit of hope came back as it sparkled in his eyes and as his mind felt like there was a chance to remain alive. He then looked towards me, as the pair of oranges got into position near the poor stallion, with two of them keeping their distance between each other while remaining near the pony, awaiting their orders.
The stranger pony looked towards me, ignoring the Orange Gang Mafia completely, and said to me, with a little smile that said ‘hope’ without a word about it, “Oh thank Celestia that I found another pony!”
His face this turned back into terror and worry and fear, as he continued to say to me, “Look buddy, you’ve got to get me out of here. These oranges, they just came out of nowhere. I was minding my own business in the middle of the right! I was in my home, it was raining and storming and thundering, and I just wanted to get near the fire place and warm up. And I thought I’d take a little nap, you know, catch some Z’ s and try to feel rested and sleep through the terrible thunderstorm that was outside of my house.
‘But next thing you know it was the lightning that flashed in the sky, BAM, these oranges broke down my door and they kidnapped me! Please sir, you’ve got to help me! I want to go home! I want to see my girlfriend again! She is supposed to have a child and I’m supposed to be there for the delivery to see my offspring! I want to see my friends again! I want to see my mom and dad again! Please, please please please, I don’t want to die! All I’ve been seeing for the past month is these oranges! And all they feed me are lemons! FUCKING LEMONS!”
Donny then said to the mysterious stallion, “Shut up! You should be grateful we gave you those lemons. We could have given you nothing at all!”
The pony then looked toward Donny and just stared at him in panic as he said to him, “The Lemons tasted funny! I could hear screams in my head after I ate them! I felt sick and did nothing but puke all those nights!”
Donny then said, somewhat calmly and reasonably in his voice, “Yeah about that, we thought we could do you a favor while doing us a favor. Those lemons son of bitches had it coming to them. Now we were going to build all of these camps and round up all of the dirty, no good fucking lemons and put them in work camps, and then maybe gas a few of them. And then we would chop up the remains and feed them to the homeless, you know, give back to the community, we’re nice guys after all, we have a heart and stuff.
‘But then we figured it would be too much work and it would cause in an outrage in the community. So we just broke into all of the lemons home, slowly tortured them, and then killed the kids in front of the parents and then killed the parents while wearing their children skin. And then we fed you the remains as well. Oh and we also killed the community as well, they were disrespecting me by disagreeing with me. And we all know when that happens when you disagree with me, we demand justice… and we get that with your fucking blood. Now shut up you fucking degenerate… you…”
The pony however didn’t shut up and continued to talk and he then asked Donny, “Why did you kidnap me though!? What did I ever do to you!? I am a nice pony that pays his taxes and does good for everypony that I see! Why me!?”
He had said it with a bit of sadness in his voice and on his face, as he seemed to be really desperate to live and was starting to become one of those that always does good, but then once terrible things happen to them, they ask God why to them after all the good deeds they do in life, jack off, go cry in a corner and fall asleep and then get the sudden urge to go to a school and shoot it up. But instead they just go to a Wal-mart and shoot it up so the race war can start.
But then you realize you don’t even own a gun, so you have to settle on a stick to start the race war and you have to go to K-Mart instead. But then you realize K-Mart died a long time ago and you’re just standing their butt naked in the middle of an abandoned store in the middle of the night with a copy of Cats and Dogs on VHS that never got sold sitting on a shelve for one dollar just sitting there… mocking you… making fun of you because you’re a failure in your life that your mother should have gotten the coat hanger and did the abortion herself since the previous two times failed her.
And then you think you hear a ghost that remains in the K-Mart, but it turns out it’s just because you didn’t take your medication that day so you just sit there, try to kill yourself with the stick, but it just breaks so you just live in the abandoned K-Mart forever instead until you die in your sleep due to just lying there, waiting for your inevitable end, as you sit there and ponder why you were even born in the first place.
That your life will not go out in a bang, but a whimper in space and time, with no one to hear or see it. Yeah… that kind of a look on that pony face it was.
Anyways, after the pony asked his question, Donny responded with, again, with a carefree tone in his voice, “Oh I don’t know. We just needed a sacrifice, and usually we take volunteers. But whenever we go around and ask if someone is willing to be our sacrifice to our lord and savior to make an example out of someone, no ever seems to accept our offer. They just run while those that dropped acid just stand there and laugh at us. It isn’t funny that they laugh at us, so we just have them cut a little instead, but the drugs just make them not feel the pain anymore.”
Donny then lowered his head towards a little bit and shook his head as he said to himself, “Kids these days, what has happened to them? The world that I knew is long gone and I only pray for this new generation.”
After he had said that, Donny then looked back up towards the pony and he said to him, “But that’s beside the point. We needed someone, and we figured we just take some random pony off the streets. Trust me, you’ll be happy, don’t worry about it.”
The pony however continued to cry out in pain and suffering towards Donny, “But I’m about to be a father! I don’t want to die! I don’t wanna die! Please don’t do this to me!”
Donny then hanged his head in shame as he said to the pony, “OH I’m sorry there fella. I had no idea what I was doing. I really am sorry, I feel for ya. I too had a wife and was about to have a child of mine to be born. I was so excited to see that child be brought into this world. Granted though, the child’s chromosome turned out it didn’t have a Y in it, so I slammed into the ground, smashed it’s head open, and stomped on it a few time and told my wife while I slapped her a few times across the face, with even my back hand with my bitch ring on to try again and do better next time.
‘But still, I was happy and filed with so much peace in my heart that I didn’t whack anyone that day. I didn’t want anything to happen to me that day, nor did I want to cause pain. So I’m sorry there buddy. I understand, we’ll make it up to you with an ice cream sundae later on today.”
And after he said those little words, he then gave a slight pause, with a moment of silence to set the mood and the pony seemed that hope was on his side and that he was going to live after all. He even had a little tear in his eyes fall down his cheeks as apparently he had thought Donny’s word was kind of sweet even though it wasn’t at all. He even gave a little sniffle to it as well.
However, after that sweet moment of silence, Donny then pulled his head right back up quickly and said to the pair of oranges that were still remaining on standby and told them, “Do it boys.”
The pony then quickly went from hopeful and happy to confused and a little bit terrified, with that kind of look on his face, as once he heard those words come out of Donny, he asked out loud, “What?”
And then one of the oranges from the pair quickly and swiftly took out a Swiss knife that looked brand knew and clean and pure, as the silver shined even in the moonlight from above. And yes, it looked like the Swiss knife came out from nowhere, but it came from behind the orange’s back. And after the orange did take it out, he very quickly jumped up towards the pony’s throat and made a quick, clean, but painful looking cut through the pony’s veins and arteries in his neck, as it was pretty much from my point of view, an orange slitting a pony’s throat open.
And once that happened, the blood started gushing out like a water fountain like in a Willy Wonka’s factory as the pony struggled a little bit as he struggled to say anything as he suffered and was slowly suffocating to death since he couldn’t breath and blood was coming out from his mouth, as his eyes just started to space out, as he struggled for life.
However it was pointless as his suffering continued to bring him closer and closer to death until a few seconds went by and he finally died as his head fell loosely on the ground. And for the record, he probably ended up in Neon Hell. And after that happened, seconds of silence returned along with the cold wind that blew passed us, as well as being able to hear that wind as well. And while the seconds of silence passed us by, Donny looked towards Sciffy, waiting for his reaction this was all for him for stepping out of line in the first place.
However when he did look towards him and his direction, Sciffy wasn’t moved or terrified or anything like that. He was just sitting there, unmoved by the action of Donny and his goons.
Donny then decided to speak up to Sciffy, “Why aren’t you screaming in terror Sciffy? Is this doing anything for you? Did you learn your lesson or…”
Sciffy turned to Donny after starring at the pony’s dead, lifeless body for so long and he said to him, “Oh uh… no…”
Donny then said, “Well why not? This is supposed to strike fear and teach you to never cross me or the family ever again.”
Sciffy then said to Donny, “Yeah but… he isn’t an orange… he was a talking pony.”
Donny then just shook his head in shame as he said under his breath, “Fucking autists. They are never satisfied. We should have rounded up the autists instead and… fucking killed them when we had the chance…”
Donny then just looked over towards the pair of oranges that helped commit the crime of murder and just gave them a silence nod, almost as if they knew what to do in this situation in particular, almost as if they had practiced and planned for it beforehand.
And once the pair got the word, they looked towards each other, gave each other a nod and the one who slit the innocent pony’s throw also took out from what seemed like out of nowhere, a piece of white paper with a very crude drawing of an orange as if it was made by a kid with the name “Orange” written on it with crayon.
It had a little piece of tape attached to the top on it, as the orange jumped up to the forehead of the dead pony and just slapped it right onto his face. And once the orange that did the crime and wasn’t going to do the time, once he landed, Sciffy was then given the opportunity to look at the dead body again. And so Sciffy saw the orange do all of this, and once he did, a few more seconds went by once more.
And after a few quick seconds of silence went by, he then started screaming bloody murder as he then said to himself, “NO! NO! I DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT! I DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT POOR ORANGE OVER THERE! NO! NO! NO!”
Donny then rolled up to Sciffy while he continued to scream in bloody murder and got very close to him to intimidate him and get all up in his face like a rude person would.
And once he did, he then said to him in a demanding voice, “You see what happened to that poor little orange that defiantly wasn’t a pony that we kidnapped over there? That’ll happen to you if you don’t follow my fucking orders. I know we killed your family and took you in when you were real young. But it’s time to grow the fuck up if you’re going to be in this family. Do your part and shut the fuck up when I tell you to or else you’re dead kid.
‘You’re fucking dead… I’ll kill you with my own hands if I have to in front of your adoptive brothers and sisters that took you in as one of your own. Now are we clear on this you little prick son of a bitch? You ungrateful little bastard… do we? Or do we have to fucking stab a bitch right here… right now in front of our new friend here? Tell me that we understand kid… fucking tell me or else give me the satisfaction of gutting you out myself.”
Sciffy then said, “Yes boss, I’ll stay quiet for now on boss. Just please don’t hurt me like how you hurt that poor orange over there boss. Just please don’t do it to me boss. I swear I’ll be a good orange from now own boss. I’ll follow every one of your orders boss, just please don’t kill me boss. I’ll be a good orange and do all that I can to be a functioning member of the family boss. I won’t do anything until you say that I can do it boss!”
Donny then said to Sciffy, “That’s good... that’s good to hear…”
Donny then gave him a few little light slaps on Sciffy’s face, and if Donny had an actual face to see, or that we could see because who knows, maybe you need a special little glass circle thing to see them or something, he would have a smile on his face. A smile that is filled with nothing but satisfactory and know that you got your way… even if you had to slap a few bitches in order to do it.
Yeah, it was that kind of smile that he would give if you could see a face on Donny… let alone all of the oranges. And throughout this entire time, my eyes remain nothing but wide and surprised, but also confused. It was like the samurai all over again. However instead of intense, on the edge of your seat action, with no one knowing who was going to live and who was going to die and what was going to happen, along with anything that could happen at any moment in time.
It was nothing like that, here I had talked to a talking apple that was a try hard and had a face and all, and then I came across a gang of oranges that seems confused in what their goals were and seemed friendly, yet threatening both at the same time. But whatever, it didn’t matter by that point, nothing mattered then, and nothing matters now. You’re here and now reading my journal, so you’re along for the ride through it all.
Enjoy it because there is no way off the ride just like being in a contract to star in Disney Star Wars movies. The ride has no end and no exit; you are forever stuck on the ride until you die. Just like life. Or something deep and down like that that an emo would find edgy enough to grab the play dough knife and cut himself with it… even though that would be impossible, the emos always find a way to cut themselves, even if it’s the future and they are no longer relevant in society.
Anyways, after that, Sciffy remained silent and obedient towards Donny, as Donny himself rolled over to the pair of oranges that was still on stand by right next to the dead pony body that they were pretending was an orange because of the piece of paper on it that said the dead pony body was an orange.
So when Donny rolled up near enough the dead pony body, Donny said to the pair of oranges, “Clean up this trash. Get this filth out of my sight this instant. Sciffy got the message. Just make sure to bury it nice and deep and make sure no evidence ties back to us. And if you can, make sure the evidence ties back to the lemons, that way we can get support from the new community that we’re building and have them on our side when the town meeting comes and they will believe that the lemons cause all of the world’s problems.
‘And if the grape fruits comes patrolling your direction, just tell them it was an accident and that he was coming after you with a knife. We don’t need any stinking pinkertons on our tail. We already have enough troubles and run ins from them ever since we left the last town after that one hit job went south very fast. You know the job, the one where you weren’t there, but all oranges have telepathic powers so you can see it too and shit.
‘The one job where everyone died a painful and horrible death, but in the end, we got what we went for, a cup of coffee from a fast food chain restaurant. Good shit. So you got all of that boys? You know what to do when the Pinkerton grapefruits come for you, assuming they can smell the stench of a dead pony body? Because if you don’t, let me quickly tell you because…”
An orange from the gang that wasn’t Sciffy rolled up right next to Donny and as the random orange did, Donny noticed and turned his entire body towards the random orange’s attention and as the random orange asked Donny, in a high pitched voice, “Hey boss. Do you think you’re over doing it? I mean you’re going on and on and we all don’t have time for this. We need to get a move on and if we’re going to get to where need to go. Not that I’m trying to question you or anything, I know you’re the leader and all It’s just that our journey here has been gone on for long enough… maybe we should stop and wrap this up. I mean this pony here isn’t even our problem and…”
And so Donny quickly also grabbed out a shiny, silver Swiss army knife and stabbed the random orange to death a few times as the random orange screamed out in pain and agony…despite having no mouth at all to begin with. And even though that random orange had a point, his voice was silence, but his message ringed true forever more.
And then that message went up too high in the sky, lost breathable air, and then fell to its death and splattered into a million pieces like a piece of fine glass when it hits the ground.
Anyways, Donny then just left the knife inside the random orange, turned his attention back to the pair of oranges, almost as if that didn’t happen at all and he said to the both of them, “So yeah, just make sure you clean up that piece of trash and that piece of filth right behind me, and we’ll all good. Got it? Good, now do your jobs, I don’t pay you two after all.”
And then, Donny rolled back to his original position, which was right in front of me, while the pair of oranges just nodded in silence in agreement with their orders from their boss. And once that happened, as Donny was getting back into his original place, the pair of oranges then picked up the dead pony body from off the ground and started rolling it away and back through the gang of what was probably angry oranges by that point.
And the random orange just laid there, dead… just with a knife sticking through its dead corpse as it bled orange blood. And so with that being said, Donny ended up rolling back to where he was originally standing before Sciffy interrupted for the last and final time, and turned his full attention towards me and me looking at him in the eyes.
And yes my eyes still remained wide as they could while I remained completely silent through it all. It may have been weird that this was all happening anyone else would just run away or maybe try to kill the oranges if they had a gun or a knife or something on the lines like that. But chances me just keeping my eyes open and just being an observer to everything probably works better out for me in the end with the best outcome because at the end of the day, you don’t interact or intervene with talking oranges and talking apples with faces on them.
You just don’t. In fact if you ever do come across like what I came across, you just don’t move and stay perfectly still. They can smell fear after all, and they can smell your dignity fleeting away along with your shame. Those damn oranges and apples always seem to know when you have the most amount of shame at a time. And yet I have no regrets about it either.
Sure, the shame smells and there’s nothing good about it, but sometimes that shame keeps you alive. Just like how the welfare checks keep the minorities alive as well. Anyways, me and Donny just stared at each other, as he looked like he was staring deep into my soul, looking into my shame and regret for all the things that I have done in my life, despite the orange not having any eyes, let alone any of the oranges in the Orange Gang Mafia.
But still, it went back to awkward silence between the two of us as the pair of oranges disappeared and Sciffy was put in his place, along with a dead random pony who begged for help from me, but all I did was just stand there and not intervene.
Usually there wouldn’t be any silence, let any awkward silence after that. Usually there would be panic and fear running rampant to the point where a group comes in and tries to start communism. Seriously, every time something goes down where there is fear and panic, some group of people tries to come and say that communism is the solution.
It’s annoying and it happens every time, one of those pet peeves in life that most have to suffer through. We always have to tell them no at the town hall meetings no, it is not the solution when everyone is in a panic. But they keep getting at it, trying to say it is the solution to everything. But it’s not the final solution… the final solution is instead is ovens.
They make good pizza rolls that fix everything of course. But anyways, it was just the awkward silence between us as the wind seems to pass as by whenever there was ever an awkward silence between us, almost like an old friend that keeps on coming by and asking for three bucks, and he says that he’ll pay you back. But then three weeks pass by and he has still yet to pay you back.
And you keep asking him when he is going to pay you back, and he says he will, it just takes time, but you wait FUCKING THREE MONTHS LATER AND HE NEVER PAYS THE FUCKING THREE BUCKS BACK! SO YOU GO GET YOUR BOWIE KNIFE AND GUN, READY TO TAKE HIM HOSTAGE AND DEMAND YOUR THREE BUCKS BACK… and then it comes in the mail and everything is cool again between you two. I learned that from Wolf once.
I wouldn’t ask. Anyways, the silence seemed to ever grow between the two of us and seemed ever expanding. But once more, Donny had to break the silence for me, as I was sort of still in shock as to what I was seeing. Well I wouldn’t say it was shock, it was more or less being confused and wondering what was going on. I mean sure this isn’t anything new, but seeing a gang of talking oranges that killed a pony isn’t something that you see everyday either. The principle is there, but not the detail.
So, Donny broke the silence for me and he said to me in a calm tone, not threatening to me whatsoever, almost as if none of that other stuff had happened and that the conversation was smooth as butter and there was no break in the flow of it all.
So Donny then said to me, as he continued to stare into my eyes which may or may not hold the soul, that’s debatable, and he said, “I apologize for that, I am sorry. We usually don’t do that kind of stuff when we meet new strangers and potential business partners. I know it seemed very sudden, but trust me, it’s the road trip.
‘I’ve been leading my family to the land of milk and honey, it’s been years, I gave them the ten commandments and told them that if they ever broke any, I’m going to have to hack their feet off and make them eat it while we gouge out their eyes in front of their kids. You know, they’re very on edge, it’s all in their head of course, and there really isn’t anything to fear for them breaking the rules. It just means that our lord and savior, Orange Jesus is going to come down from the heavens and pimp slap them right in the face.
‘You know a little slap here, a little slap there. You know what I’m talking about? Of course you do, you’re probably have a wife and you slap her every time when she doesn’t make you a steak dinner every day. Its natural, it’s common, everyone has experienced it before, even the dog. So enough of that nonsense, where were we? Oh yes, that’s right, we were introducing each other, trying to tell each other a little about ourselves, try to make peace with both of our groups so war can stop.
‘So with that being said, hi, my name is Donny, I’m the leader of the family and they look up to me with some respect. And if they don’t, I hire some crazy guy that may or may not be a psychopath to hide in their homes, wait until they go to sleep, and use an axe to chop of their heads. Trust me it’s some gruesome stuff. It’s so good that the news paper loves it. It takes off the news of a giant sinking ship off the front page every time. So what’s your name?”
And then the silence came back and he waited for me to respond. However, I never responded back to him. I just stayed silent. I was like a statue, or someone that had been frozen in time. I didn’t move a muscle, and the only thing was that I continued to stare at Donny, with of course blinking obviously. That detail is important… for the imagery. Try to imagine me blinking for a moment before going on… isn’t it beautiful?
My eyes, they are perfect, because of my brand. My Brand! My Brand! My Brand! Nah I’m just fucking with you, but I did blink though, true story. Anyways, with me just standing there, not talking to Donny with the wind once again, passing on by like a fucking free loader that it was, Donny didn’t seem too pleased with my silence.
However, he kept his cool with me and he said to me, “You’re supposed to extend your arm, shake my hand, and tell me your name.”
And once more, I just stayed absolutely silent with nothing else to say to Donny. And this time nothing else happened like with Sciffy being rude to me. It was just me, Donny, the silence, and the sanity going into a downward spiral of madness. Still, I didn’t know what to say to Donny as I remained silent to him and not make a sound towards him. Hell, I didn’t know what to say or think about it. My mind was drawing a literal blank.
But to Donny, I had to say something to him, I couldn’t stay silent forever towards him and he wanted me to say something to him obviously, or else he and his gang would have moved on from me by then… or killed me and buried me six feet deep with that other pony that they killed. Either way, Donny wanted to talk to me almost like I was his friend, even though we had just met and came across each other’s paths.
So Donny noticed that I wasn’t saying anything to him again, so he then asked me, “Do you know how to speak or are you just going to stare at me like a bagdo?”
I had no idea what a bagdo was and I don’t think that is a thing. But in case it is a thing, I take offence to that… I think. Well, I had to say something to him, and my mind finally decided to speak up and break the silence from me after all of that time of just being quiet and observing everything that the oranges had done right in front of me like murder and abuse.
So I said to Donny, still with wide eyes and the like as usual, as I slowly raised my right hoof up towards him and pointed at him, with it being a bit shaky I might add, “Is this all a dream? Am I dreaming right now? Am I still sleeping or is this all real that I’m seeing? Please tell me I’m still sleeping.”
And then I went back to being quiet.
And when I was waiting for a response and hoping the answer was yes, Donny instead said to me, “Of course this is real you Bagdo! Can’t you tell that you’re awake right now!? I know everyone wants to dream of me when they’re asleep, but you’re are in front of me right now, having the honor to talk to the godfather Donny here! What’s so hard to believe that now huh!? Do you still think that you’re dreaming there fella?”
I then silently nodded my head, just showing, not telling it to him, slowly of course with my eyes still wide as they ever were. And after I had done that, Donny then just looked down and started to shake his head almost as if he was disappointed in his own son or something.
He even then said underneath his breath, “Fucking ponies, having no god damn respect for the godfather of the Orange Gang Mafia. I should fucking give them a slap across the face… fucking 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, when I’m done with ya motha fuckas you won’t be alive… fucking son of a…”
After he had tried to say that quietly under his breath, even though I could hear him loud and clear, he then turned his attention quickly over to Sciffy.
Although he did not turn his head towards him, he just kept his back towards him and he said, “Sciffy! Come over here and give our little friend a wakeup call to the real world. He overslept!”
However, Sciffy didn’t move like he was doing before, and instead he just moved forward a little bit, mostly in fear and hesitation, as he said quietly, “A-Are you sure boss? I can go up to him and do something to him there boss?”
Donny then gave a little bit of a sigh in his voice, as he then turned his head towards Sciffy as he then said to him, “Yes Sciffy, you are allowed to do what I asked you to do. I won’t hit you… this time…”
Sciffy then looked both ways, almost as if he was crossing the street. But really he was looking at his orange brothers and sisters, making sure they were ok with it and that they weren’t going to beat him up or kill him or anything like that. And after he did that in silence, he then slowly started rolling towards me.
Not too slow, but yet not too fast. He was simply taking his time, making sure he wasn’t messing up in front of his boss and making a mistake that he would later regret later on. And once he did get to me, he stopped, jumped up high into the air or at the very least high enough to reach my face, and once more gave me another slap across the face.
In which case my face moved and my wide eyes no longer were wide. Instead my eyes went into a worried type of look as I raised my left hoof up to my face and rubbed it a little bit as the slap did leave a little sting. And once Sciffy was done with that little slap of his, he then went rolling back at the same pace as he was coming towards me and back to his orange brothers and sisters without a word or a problem.
And as he was doing so, Donny was keep a heavy eye on him, making sure he was staying in line and not doing anything foolish.
And nice Sciffy was back in his original position, Donny looked over to Sciffy and he calmly said, “Thank you Sciffy for following my orders like that. Now maybe I won’t put poison in your food tonight… maybe…”
Donny then turned his attention back to me and he looked at me with staring into my soul like before and he then said, assuming he was sticking his arm out towards me, “So, you’re awake now there fella? You need another wakeup call or are you good and we can talk business?”
I then said as I put my left hoof down and still had my worried look on, although it was more of a look of caution then worry but still. I then said to Donny as I extended my arm out towards him and went to shake his hand… again, but by that point I don’t think I wanted to piss off the godfather of the Orange Gang Mafia. And when I did, it was the same as before, it felt weird, yet very real.
And as we were shaking heads, I said to him, “My name is Knight.”
Donny, as he was shaking his hand as well, said to me, “Knight, Knight, right, you said that to me before I think, maybe in a previous life. But this is better because now we got off to the right foot instead of the wrong foot if you know what I’m saying.”
And after that, we put our arms down and went into conversation mode.
And this time I spoke up to start the conversation. I said to Donny, “Are you really real right now? I know I’m awake and everything, that much I’m sure, but am I really seeing talking oranges in front of me or am I hallucinating?”
Donny then asked me, “Do I need to have Sciffy give you another wakeup call?”
I then said to Donny, “No.”
Donny then said to me, “Then yes, we are real. Sorry if it may seem a bit weird though. From my understanding you ponies and your inferior kind don’t get around that often and you lack any knowledge of any other creatures like the racists that you are. Specists… I meant to say specists. Whatever, I’m right, shut up.”
I then said to Donny, sort of quickly towards him in a way, “No, that’s not true. Us peo… I mean ponies know of other creatures.”
Donny then asked me, “Oh yeah, which ones?”
I then rolled my eyes back in my head, trying to think of an answer, but really I was just trying to recall all the other creatures that I had seen in the My Little Pony show back on Earth from all those years ago, although it was only up to season 4 however.
So I then said to him, “Well let’s see. We’ve met griffins, little faggot fairy things, a dragon and uhhh… uhhh…”
Donny then cut me in the middle of my ‘uh’ and he then asked me, “No no no, you don’t get to cheat. I want to know how many different creatures that you’ve met… you racist…”
I then was starting to get a little bit pissed off with the way that he was talking down to me, but I kept my cool and went back to how many different creatures that I have seen. Now I could have listed to him all of the other things like Neon and all the weird shit that he has done and shit like that, but I didn’t think he would believe me and I didn’t feel like being killed by an orange that night.
So I decided to think of actual, more believable creatures. I then said to him, “Well there was a griffin I met once, he was an asshole and later died. There was a dragon. I’m friends with a timber wolf and uhhh… uhhhhh… zebra?”
I had said that last part with a smile, mostly because I was unsure if that counted.
However Donny was shaking his head towards me and he said, “Nice try their Knight. But everyone knows that Zebras don’t count. They are a sub species to ponies and you can mostly find them in the zoos.”
To be fair he kind of had a point. Other than the black and white stripes, they were somewhat, eerily similar to ponies… yet they weren’t ponies at all… just some sort of weird inferior version of a pony. Hmmmmm… makes you think.
Anyways, Donny then continued to say to me, “So that only leaves those three that you mentioned. And it only proves my point. You and your kind don’t get out. There are hundreds of other, intelligible more superior to your kind, but not to our kind, creatures. And those creatures don’t kill griffins and are more kind. We oranges would know this truth because we did the math and have the statistics.”
I then had a confused, yet intrigued look on my face as I asked him, “Statistics? What statistics?”
Donny then said, without ever looking at him, to Sciffy, “Sciffy! Give me the paper.”
And Sciffy then, silently and without complaint or a fuck up, rolled up behind Donny and gave him a piece of paper that he may have pulled out of his ass, and on that piece of paper was a graph and some numbers. It was also done in crayon as well.
He then showed it to me and began to explain it to me, “You see here, these numbers prove that you and your kind are racists and have no empathy to any other creature. This number represents pony and non-pony crimes. Every time when a non-pony creature, a.k.a. that isn’t you in pony terms, is killed, it is by a pony. And that pony has nothing but hatred in his or her heart.”
I was then curious about this piece of paper and wanted to take a closer look at it.
So I then said to him, “Let me have a look at this thing.”
I then used my magic, took the piece of paper from him and made a closer observation at the numbers as I squinted my eyes a little bit since it was written in orange after all. So I took the liberty of looking at it and analyzing it, and the more that I looked at it, the more it started to piss me off.
I then said as I put the piece of paper down, “THIS SHIT IS FAKE NEWS!”
Donny then said to me, “No it isn’t, we fact checked it.”
I then looked at him, with a bit of an angry face, but not too angry though, “Fact checked it? With what? The back of a cereal box?”
Donny then said to me, “Trust me, it has been fact checked by a very reliable source. It was done by my very, specifically handpicked team that I personally picked to form a fact check team. I even had certain requirements like they had to have had years of college experience, loyal to the Orange Gang Mafia, will agree to my agenda and everything that I had to say or else they get to commit suicide with 5 shotguns shots to the back of the head, you know, common, reasonable, industry standard stuff like that.”
I then said to him, ignoring the obvious manipulation that he had just admitted to, “Bull fucking shit Donny! First off, it doesn’t specifically say that it was murderers for pony on non-pony crime. And what about the non-pony on non-pony crime huh!? What about that shit!? From what I’ve seen, those numbers are waaaaaaay higher than this shit that you’re trying to pull here! And what about the non-pony on pony crime you dipshit! Why don’t you ever bring that shit up? What about the dragons? They hate fucking pony’s guts and they die every time, at least so I hear, they enter one of their caves… or their hoods or their territory if you want it in simple terms.”
With that last part, I had looked to the side, trying to think it all through as I was saying it.
Anyways, Donny said to me as I then put the paper down on the ground and I sort of still had a pissed off look at him, “Oh, so I suppose you think the civil war that happened in the world thousands of years ago was over country rights?”
And to confirm, there was a civil war of sorts. But it happened a long time ago, almost about before Celestia and Luna had came into power and it was when the world tried to be hippy dippy and the world all holding hands and singing kumba fucking ya around a campfire and shit like that.
But it quickly all fell apart with countries having a fall out with one another and… it was a huge thing that no one cares about. I learned it when I was at Celestia’s school. It was a topic that was boring to learn but the tests for it was easy as shit. You just pull something out of your ass and I passed. Still, it was a bore to sit through and learn all about it.
No one even cared in that class except for like one nerd in that class. He liked it… too much that is. It was almost as if he got his sick kicks off from it. But whatever, that doesn’t matter other than for context purposes.
Anyways, I then said to Donny, “Of course it was over creature rights! Are you kidding me!? What else could it have been about?!”
Donny then said to me, “Well you know, a little thing called slavery.”
I then snapped back at him, “Slavery! We didn’t even have slaves. All that was taking place was prisons because those other creatures were taking the other creatures prisoners!”
Donny then said to me, “Oh and you’re trying to tell me they didn’t put them to work when they are in camps and the ponies benefitted off from it?”
I then said to him, “So what? The other creatures were forcing our kind to do much more horrible things to the ponies! And besides, it was over creature’s rights in the other lands you fucking moron!”
Donny then mocked me as he said to me, but in a mocking tone of voice, “It was over creature’s rights in the other lands. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Look at me; I’m ignorant because I’m a racist.”
I then said to him, as I lowered my head a little bit, getting a little movement in there you could say, “Oh stop being a child about it and take this debate seriously.”
Donny then said to me, “Oh we’re having a debate here? I thought you were just being a racist and silent about the fact that the civil war that the world had thousands of years was over slavery of the creatures that the ponies had enslaved.”
I then snapped back at him, “IT WAS NOT OVER SLAVERY! IT WAS OVER CREATURE’S RIGHTS! IT WAS ABOUT INDUSTRIAL VS FARMING! WHAT DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT THAT!?”
Donny however continued to ignore what I had to say and childishly said to me, “What was that? All I can hear is that you’re being a racist.”
I then said to him, “Wow, real mature there Donny. Real fucking mature. Is that the only word that you know huh? Or do you know any other words?”
Donny then said to me, “I beg your pardon?”
I then said to Donny, “You heard me you little prick… you… thing!”
I had said that while squinting my eyes a little bit and pointing my right hoof towards him, along with other movements that I’m not sure how else to describe to you in just words. However as it seemed like the conversation was going to continue on with this so called debate on about if it was creature rights, “slavery”, even though that was never the fucking case. Trust me; I had to sit through hours upon hours in that class, I would know.
Along with pony on non-pony crime and non-pony on non-pony crime and the like, Donny just ended it all very immaturely with, “Racist said what?”
I then was confused and my brain was quick to respond without thinking of what Donny had just said to me with, “What?”
Donny then quickly said to me, “And then the racist admits his own racism. And my point is proven that it was over slavery, not creature rights.”
I was bamboozled by what Donny had done to me. I had been tricked, I had been backstabbed, and I had been quite possibly, bamboozled. And Donny was the culprit behind me being bamboozled. I was bamboozled by a talking orange. Meh… I’ve had more shame before in my life, so it’s not that low of a bar for me to have gone down to.
I have more shame for other things like what I did to the rug back in my home in Stalia. Let’s just say I was high, drunk, and Wolf tricked me to take some of that sweet, sweet ecstasy. Again, I have more shame for that than being tricked by an orange. Now what I do have is anger and hatred filling all parts of my body, back then and as of right now as of writing this.
I mean, who the fuck did Donny think he was? Fucking calling me a racist because the World Civil War was caused by slavery. Bull. Fucking. Shit. What he was spewing was propaganda or some shit to the pro-slavery group, a group that it was slavery that caused the World Civil War.
I might be getting off topic here, but let me explain a few things for context purposes. Now my memory might be a bit off since it’s been a while since I was in Celestia’s school, but I remember most of it all what happened from what I was taught. So let’s see, where should I start?
Ok so a long long long time ago, at some point before Celestia became princess. I don’t recall exactly when it was, but it was something on the lines like that. Anyways, some creatures thought it was cute to get together and have the whole world, and I mean THE WHOLE WORLD come together.
Because believe it or not, there’s other animals that can talk and have societies that have the potential to all break down because of race relations, but whatever. But it’s like that so far and no one really cares. And fun fact those other creatures, they don’t go to regular heaven, they go to their own heaven so even in the afterlife everyone is segregated, but then again I’m not sure if you would want antelopes sitting on front of the bus if you know what I’m saying.
I’m just saying, just saying. Anyways, the important thing to know is that at some point, they all thoughts it would be cute to all come together and basically become a one world order, but you know, less cultist liked it and thought it would be a good idea.
And to appease those that still wanted to have their own lands, it was like being in one big United States, if the United States was the entire world, or it all being Ohio, take that for what you will. Anyways, it was all going ok, but then three days later, creatures started going into other “states” or provinces you could say, and thought they were hot shit and could go where they please, because before you needed a passport and were looked at funny.
But they thought since its all one world, they thought they could walk right on through, care free. But then when they didn’t want to follow the rules and thought they had the same rights as everyone else like owning land and being able to take part in other government activities, because you needed to be a citizen of the state in order to do so, some disagreements were made and they were taken away to jail. But then it kept happening, in all states keep in mind, so they ended building a special building where those that tried to come in without being a proper citizen of the state so they wouldn’t crowd the regular jail.
And soon this started become a problem and the separate prison that everyone was put in were called Creature Camps by the plebs, so sort of unofficially but still. And since it was a prison, pretty much everyone running a Creature Camp thought it would be best to put them to work instead of them doing nothing and sitting there like a lump on a log an being a waste of life.
And some were bored anyways with nothing else to do other than eat, sleep, and shit. So all Creature Camps through the entire world, except for like two I think, put them to work, making things for themselves and for the rest of the states, and some journals that were written while the creatures were in the camps said they didn’t mind.
They were pissed but didn’t mind. But other states didn’t like their own creatures being in Creature Camps and some saw it as slavery. And then debates were made, protests happen, riots happened, and even the creatures in the camps were obviously and fairly pissed that they were stuck there. Again, some didn’t mind it, but were still wanting to be you know… outside of the camp.
And then eventually someone threw a wad of feces at someone’s face and said it was some other state that did it and then the World Civil War started from there. At least that’s the short version of it. The whole class that I was required to take back at Celestia’s school pretty much had a text book the size of the King James Bible, and that’s just the abridged version.
There’s a lot of shit that went down from when the one world order took place to the end. And spoilers I guess, eventually the war ended, I know, a shocker, and what ended up happening was that everything went back to how it was before. States returned to being countries, all creatures were returned back to their respectful countries with exception of one who didn’t want the war to end, but were later forced to by like three other countries.
And then everyone went back to the ol’ fashioned way and kept to themselves and no one talked about it and just kind of forgot about it. They haven’t forgotten about it, they just didn’t care, pretending like it never happened, even thought it did happen.
And it gets taught in school, at least pony schools since you know… shit happened. And if I remember correctly, this was all still going on when Discord was still in power. It was like a little blip that happened in between his reign of rule and fall from the rule. Some conspiracy nuts even believe it was all made up and fabricated… but it did.
Celestia proved it to me by showing me one of a battles through one of those fancy smancy time spells of hers that she keeps locked up in the Star Swirl the Bearded section or whatever. It was really graphic and desynthesized me to violence, just kidding, that happened a long time ago. Although it still keeps me up at night whenever it comes across my mind though.
But yeah that happened, and the ones that organized the one world ordered are still around through their great grand children, and the group are under a different name. They are called hippies and just smoke weed all day talking about how they are going to bring every creature together.
And then they try to sell me beads and hippie drums for two hundred bits. That’s a rip off and I call them out on it, but they just say I’m not full of love enough to understand their pricing. And I bring it up because it’s not like I’m ever going to talk about it or come up, and I was tortured for hours on end, being forced to take the class back at Celestia’s school, so I might as well use it here than let all that time spent go to waste.
And the thing about the World Civil War was that it was like a big nothing burger, yet it feels like a big deal. Hundreds of thousands did die during the war with their graves being shitted upon. In fact I think if I recall correctly, the graves are in some canyon where The Great War took place at I think. Anyways, you’d think that would be the end of it, just a little bit of pony history for your ass that no one is going to remember a month later and that’s it.
But no, you have others like FUCKING DONNY who is going to sit there in front of me and tell straight to my fucking face that the World Civil War was over the so called slavery.
Ok let’s just say it was considered to be slavery, just for the moment here even though it’s bullshit. The countless protests were over releasing the creatures from the Creature Camps and giving them full, automatic rights as the state citizens had, as soon as they entered the state. There were countless debates over it, debates that I had to remember for fucking tests at the last minute.
I mean, yes, there was some protests and a few riots here and there for the so called “slavery” that was happening in the Creature Camps, but there is documented proof that it was over Creature Rights. As far as I’m aware, long after the World Civil War happened, you have some countries that you barely even hear from these days, bitch and whine about the slavery and started some called the thirteen hundred Project.
Basically the whole thing took place like around that many years ago, although it was fifteen hundred years if I’m not mistaken. And these group of people… or whatever the fuck they are, want to argue to me, the one who sat, not just going over the pony side of the war, but every other creature’s perspective and shit, that it was over slavery.
I’d be fucking damned if that was the case. It was over Creature Rights, and what Donny said to me that day was fake news. End of story… for the most part. Anyways, after being bamboozled by Donny, I had wide eyes for a moment and was confused, trying to figure out what he had just said.
And then after a few quick seconds of thinking about it, I then had a bit of an angered look on my face but I kept my cool a little bit, and I said to Donny, “Oh ha ha. How mature of you.”
Then Donny said to me, “Well I’m not the racist that said ‘what.”
I then said to him while pointing my right hoof at him, with a little smile, “Ha, you just said it, which makes you the racist too!”
However, Donny then said back to me, “Sorry, the one who smelt it dealt it… racist. So it doesn’t count.”
And I just ended up rolling my eyes to the back of my head in sort of disgust with how Donny was acting towards me. We could have had a reasonable conversation about all of this, but he refused to do so and instead he was acting like a little child about it.
But I just gave a big sigh about it and then said to him, as I used my magic to pick up the chart that he had made in crayon about pony on non-pony crime statistics, “Whatever. But your fake statistics are full of shit though.”
And as I had said that to him, I gave back his paper to him, which he then proceeded to take it with his… tiny… little… invisible hands I guess.
However, Donny just said to me, “It’s full of shit huh? So you’re saying pony on non-pony crime is non-existent and non-ponies aren’t being harmed.”
I then was taken a back a little bit with that statement, sort of had a worried look on my face almost as if I was caught or something, but really he took me off guard. Not with the question, but rather he was trying to twist it into his own way to fit the story that he was trying to sell to me.
However, I just responded back with, “Well no, I do accept it does happen.”
Then I went back to my angry face as I continued to say to him, “But the numbers that you gave are way over inflated and no where it mentioned non-pony on non-pony crime at all! You need to present those alongside pony on non-pony and show that non-pony on non-pony crimes numbers are way higher than pony on non-pony crime numbers. Hell, even pony on pony crime is lower than that as well, which shows to you that it’s the non-ponies that have the problems on their hands and not the pony’s fault.”
But Donny then responded to me with, “So you’re saying non-ponies and their countries are suffering while you privileged ponies get all the food and glamour?”
I then said to him, with confidence in my tone, “First off, that’s going completely off track and changing the subject. And second, if you wanted to use that in your argument, why the fuck do I need to care about other non-ponies and their country.
‘Ok, so we should maybe go and build some fucking churches so they can go out and find Pony Jesus in their heart or some shit. What isn’t our responsibility is how they take care of their fucking lands. It isn’t our fault that the Griffin lands are such a shit hole. They did that to themselves, not us! And if they want help, then maybe they should come over and ask for it instead of being a little bitch about it. Maybe we can make a deal or something instead of them sitting there, being greedy sons of bitches.”
Donny however said to me, “So you’re saying all Griffins are greedy and are male.”
I then snapped back at Donny and got near his face and told him, “STOP TRYING TO TWIST MY FUCKING WORDS! YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I MEAN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”
Donny then calmly said to me after I kindly backed up away from his personal space, “So the racist is getting mad that I’m proving that he is a racist, what a shame, what a shame. I thought you ponies could have changed just like us when we showed forgiveness to those grapes and was nice towards them when they begged us not to kill them. So we changed our minds and killed them.”
I then squinted my eyes toward Donny and asked him a very simple question, “Are you fucking a commie of some sort?”
Donny then said to me, while moving his head a bit, “What, me? No, of course not, who said anything about being a commie? We don’t support that fucking trash shit. What we support is Orangism, and we all know that real Orangism has not been tried yet and is clearly the only option to go when it comes to a government system. Trust me; Orangism is the next best thing to Orangist and Orangy. Trust us, we know what we’re talking about and we definitely won’t kill you if you try to leave it. You’ll just starve to death because we won’t give you any food because food is racist.”
I then continued to stare at him after he had talked and was looking at me as if I was supposed to respond to that in some capacity. However with me, I just let the silence take over as I continued to squint at him and think about it in my head and try to process what he had just said to me. And trying to think about it didn’t make much sense to me.
So I threw everything out the window and said to him, as I stopped squinting, looked up from him, and said, “Alright, we’re done with this conversation. I’m getting the fuck out of here and getting back on track.”
However, right before I could move a single muscle and move around the oranges and hoping they didn’t kill me, Donny stopped me as he then said to me, “Good, since we can now moved on with your shameless and bitter racism, we can finally get down to business.”
I then was confused a bit as to what he had said to me, as we were never trying to talk about business. The talking oranges just kind of came out of nowhere and came on to me, not the other way around.
So I naturally had a confused look on my face, with trying to figure out what he was trying to say to me in my head. I then said to him, “What business. We don’t have any business to discuss. I’m just some random pony that you just met. And you’re just some Orange that I had just met, that also seems very threatening.”
Donny however then said to me, “I see, but that’s where you’re wrong. Our little business meeting was meant to be as that is how and what Orange Jesus predicted. We were always meant to meet at this very same spot at this very time at night to talk about business and you admitting your racism and willing to change for the better. It was prophesied in the book of OJ, and how he said right before he didn’t kill those grapefruits, it was proven in court, believe us or we’ll cut you, and that he predicted that when we, the oranges, were making our pillage to the land of milk and honey, that we would come across a Pegasus who I will make a very good business deal and who will get on his knees and was our feet.”
I then said with a both a cynical look on my and cynical tone in my voice, “I’m a Unicorn dipshit.”
Donny then said back to me, “Of course, that’s what I just said, a unicorn. What, do you have some ear wax in your ears buddy? I can refer you to our good and only doctor that can help out with that. Trust me; he won’t overcharge you if that’s what you’re thinking. We have good benefits if you work for the family. You get good health insurance, some dental insurance. But you only are allowed to take 1 week off for vacation a year. And you are only allowed to visit Sao Paulo. If you don’t visit there, then we would have to fire you. And when I mean by fire you, I mean by setting you on fire because you would be fired. But you get eleven sick days a year, but they don’t stack, so don’t think about getting smart on us or we’ll stab you.
‘Also every labor day we have our family picnic. It’s very fun, something to look forward to every year. We cook burgers, hot dogs, grapes, and even play games where I am always the winner. We also have wacky Tie Tuesdays and Casual Fridays. And if you don’t wear casual on Fridays, then I’ll stab you. Capche? Capche got it. Nice to hear that we have come to an understanding. Also to make it clear, it’s below minimum wage, but don’t worry we have an Orange Union that’ll take good care of you.
‘Just know that if you ever go on strike because you’re being forced to work under minimum wage, then I’ll stab you and all in the Union. Just make sure to pay your thousand dollar monthly Union fees. Those poor, poor rich union leaders need to feed their families somehow you know. So, how about we make a deal and get you initiated into the family huh?”
I then said, with an ok look on my face, sort of accepting what was going on here by this point, “Woah woah woah, this is moving too fast. We need to slow this down here.”
I had said that while moving my left hoof back and forth. Donny then said to me, “Moving too fast? Are you slow? Oh wait, I get it, you want to break up with me. I get it, I understand. Look, it’s me, not you. Maybe we need to see others and spend some time apart before we try to take another step forward in our relationship. I know I’ve been a bit pushy on you, but I think with just need a little time so we can make this work. You, me and the kids. Just don’t tattle tell to anyone about how I hit you. Just say the door hit you.
‘And if you say otherwise, I’m taking the kids out into the desert and burying them alive six feet deep. And if you want them, you’re going to have to get through me, the family, and the Orange police that I bribe, because I started the Orange Police Force. And if you have a problem with that, then you better get in the kitchen and make something. And when I tell you to bend over, you bend over. You got it bitch? I’m the Orange in power here, I make things happens. And you don’t dare disrespect me or my authority. You hear me? And to make my point clear, I killed the mailman. I know he wasn’t fucking you, but I thought he was looking at me funny.
‘So he’s dead now. He’s fucking dead. I didn’t like the look on his ugly mug of his while he looked at me while he gave me my mail. But you see what happens to you when you cross me, so don’t cross my cross walk bitch, or else I’ll cross your arms together and break them off and beat you with them. You got it?”
I then had a weird look on my face, and confused as well, and I just asked Donny, “What?”
Donny then looked both ways for a real quick second while looking upwards towards the sky at an angle and then said to me, “Wait, what did I say?”
And then Sciffy said to Donny, “Uhh… you were talking about your wife boss. Remember with what happened last December?”
He didn’t turn around when he was talking to Sciffy and instead kept his back to him while saying to him, “Oh right, I forgot. Thanks Sciffy.”
Donny then said to the pair of oranges that I suppose came back from dropping off the dead body, I had never noticed it at the time. But then again all Oranges look the same to me, and that’s a fact.
Anyways, Donny said to the pair of oranges that were next to Sciffy, “Remember me to remind you guys to cut off Sciffy balls off for not speaking when he is spoken to.”
Donny then said sort of to Sciffy but also to himself quietly, “You done goofed Sciffy. You done Goofed. You bring shame on to this family and I’m so disappointed that I would disown you if you were my son. Well, I guess it was going to happen at some point or another. I guess it’s time to put you down ol’ Sciffy. I’ll just have to go and grab the ol’ Shotgun and… slowly torture you with it until you die and shooting off individual parts of your body that won’t kill you right away, but when enough is shot off, you’ll slowly bleed out and die.
‘You die a horrible death that you deserve you autistic fuck. Maybe we shouldn’t have given you the needle when it came to giving you your shots. Oh well, there’s enough oranges to go around so there is nothing of value of being lost here. You piece of slow, molasses trash.”
Of course it was loud enough for me to hear, but I don’t think Donny cared at all.
But once he was done sort of talking to himself kind of, he then looked back to me and then asked me, “Sorry about that. I sometimes get a flashback to last December and think I am with my wife. You know how the females are, am I right? Yeah you know what I mean. You can’t live without them, so you slap them hard enough until they get on their knees and beg for their lives while you point a gun at their head so that you can live with them. That old saying.”
I then said to Donny, “Yeah, no, I don’t know what you mean.”
Donny then asked me, “What do you mean? You don’t have yourself a girl? Wow, what a loser.”
I then said to Donny, “No, it’s just that… uhhh… nothing of interest has come my way. I’m just busy most of the time so I don’t go looking for one.”
Donny then asked me, “So you’re saying you’re gay.”
I then gave a little shit and a bit of an annoyed look and I then said to him, “No, I am not. I don’t swing that way. It’s just that… how should I put this? If you knew what I’ve seen and done, you’d know why I haven’t found a significant other. And it’s probably for the best too in my profession. In other words, the last thing thinking of whom I’m going to fuck for the next forty years.”
Donny then said, “Oh I get it. You like those one night stands. I get ya. Especially since you’re young and all. I get it. You know I was like that when I was your age fifteen million years ago. I banged so many young, hot, slutty oranges that you wouldn’t believe it. I even got some diseases too. Good times. Although sadly I gave some of them my seed if you know what I mean and I had to hide from some of them.
‘But then some of them found me and tried to force me to pay the child support and try to live in my house. So after they tried to force that on me, I then forced them to have an abortion. And five of those abortions were late abortions. Those babies were only two years old when I put them in the pot and boiled them alive. They tasted good too, at least according to the whores that I forced fed them too. The mothers put of forced smile that I told them to have and said it was delicious.
‘And I would know, I’m a good cook. It was my specialty to cook those babies. And as for the other seventy three, the abortion clinic wouldn’t accept it because it was then illegal to have abortions. So I went to the government of the land, lobbied them, and made abortions legal. And all the pro life people that objected me then took a nice dip into the sulfuric acid baths that I had made for them after they went to sleep.
‘But even the doctors wouldn’t do it because there was a three abortion limit per dead beat father. So I had to harvest the doctor’s brain, put it into my brain, and perform the abortions myself. Sad to say, all seventy three whores died and all eighty five unborn fetuses were taken out and stomped on with a big, oversized, comical shoe. It was a good celebration that I had later that night with some more whores that, and more STD’s.
‘Yeah, it was sure a time to be alive. But then time flies, you get old; you then take control of your father’s family that has been passed down from generation to generation for the past one billion years, shit like that. And then all of a sudden life hits you really hard when all of a sudden you walk into your father’s room in the middle of the night and you smother him with a pillow because he tells you that you’re unfit to run the Orange Gang Mafia because you’re a psychopath, and you’re not a psychopath, you’re just a little bit special on the inside because that’s what your mother tells you so you can go away while she drinks three bottles of fine wine while she watched Lifetime Orange TV.
‘And then you also kill her by pulling the plug. Yeah life hits you really hard and unexpectedly sometimes. So I get ya there Knight. But if you ever wanted to, I could hook you up. In fact my daughter is in need of a husband. She needs to get married and she won’t be in her fertile years forever. You should meet her, she’s really pretty. In fact, you should meet her right now.”
I then said to him, with a bit of a disgusted look on my face while moving my arms around a little bit, “Oh no, please don’t… I don’t need to…”
But he didn’t hear a single word that I had said as he just ignored me and turned around and looked back at the gang of oranges behind him.
He then yelled out back to the crowd, “Hey! Can someone bring Suzzie up here! Yeah I need Suzzie to come up right front and center this instant!”
And there was a silence for a couple of seconds until Donny then said, “Yeah that’s right! I need that Daughter of mine who tried to run away from me because she claimed child abuse! Yeah bring her up here! Yeah Suzzie get your fucking ass over here and show off your perks to this Knight over here! He is in need of spreading his seed! Move it you fucking cow!”
And then slowly, but surely, an orange was moving through the crowd. But this orange was a bit more different than other. There still wasn’t a face, but it did have certain features. For example, it had long, young, blonde hair, almost as if she was wearing a wig on her head, And the hair was braided as well, with two ponytails. You know, the kind that goes on the side as it hangs down.
There were even a little, pink bow on each ponytail as well. Another feature that she had was two, fake, plastic tits. Literally, tits were popping out, but don’t worry, no orange nips were shown so that means its safe for the kids to look at and question about it. And I don’t think the Orange was underage… at least I hope so or else the SWAT team will find me, even in Equestria you can’t escape from them.
Once you look at a picture of a lolli, BAM, they are right there and then they take you away for life. The SWAT knows; they always know when the lolli is out. They can sniff it out like guard dogs and are out there to your house within seconds. It’s their natural instincts, they must find the lollis. Anyways, the orange nips were covered up with a purple, tight dress that easily showed off the orange’s assets.
Still though, no facial feature so she couldn’t look into my soul like how Donny did it to me. Anyways, as she was rolling up to her father, she was swaying form side to side a little bit ever so slightly, almost as if she had hips even though she was still just an orange and had no legs. Or at least no visible legs that is. I don’t know; the orange anatomy is weird.
Anyways, Suzzie took her sweet time to get to Donny, and it’s more than likely due to her getting plastic surgery. I’m not saying that’s what happened, I’m only speculating because the orange looked a little plastic to me. If the tits look fake, which they were, then it is more than likely she got plastic surgery as well. And I’m sure somewhere out there that are reading this right now would still hit that.
Hey, I get it, plastic is fantastic to some and it’s their fetish, I’m not judging. But some will and some will burn your house down because they believe in the all natural look. It’s going Civil War 3 in America I tell you, Civil War 3. Well, eventually she made it to Donny, as she was rolling up next to Donny; Donny himself was just staring at her, almost like he was loving it.
In fact I heard a little bit of moaning coming from Donny from underneath his breath. But hey, it’s incest; there is only nothing but shame for it in public, but not in private. Got to get those sick taboos out somehow, and I guess Donny just didn’t have any shame for it either way. Well, eventually Suzzie stopped rolling once she made it next to her father.
And as she did, I think she was staring at me. And my eyes were wide and my mind was unsure of how to respond as I had my right hoof hanging a bit upwards, almost as if I was taken aback by it all.
And as Suzzie was staring into my soul and possibly my pony junk, Donny then took one good long look at his daughter, and after about a minute of him possibly waiting to jack off to his daughter, or fuck her afterwards because who knows what goes on in that so called Family, Donny then said to me, “Isn’t she beautiful Ghost? My only flesh and blood. Her mother would be so proud if she was still alive, but she hit one too many doors let me tell ya. But I’m sure she is smiling from above… in Neon hell.
‘That bitched deserved what she got after all and I hope a red hot poker is raping her in the asshole… anally… whore couldn’t get enough of that stuff in bed. Sad thing is though, once the kids got the sad news that their mother died and I killed her with “doors” and I told them to keep their mouths shut or else they would be joining her, they were depressed. But don’t worry, I’m a good father, so I beat them senseless every day until they broke down or submitted to my ultimate rule, for the Orange Satan and Orange Lucifer himself demanded it, at least that’s what the voices say at least.
‘So I took real god care of them, especially with my daughter. She’s my favorite, the rest of my kids are dead beats to me and if I could, I would put their dead bodies in the trash instead of right next to their mothers. So I took real good care of my daughter here.
‘I made her look like a doll and treated her like a princess. I gave her the best plastic surgery an illegal tangerine can buy. I pad an illegal tangerine to do the plastic surgery; don’t tell an officer about that, I paid good money for that illegal. But I made sure she had the best silicon tits that counterfeit money can buy and I was there one hundred percent of the operation. Could you believe it she was flat chested, I would have hit her if she continued to be flat chested. But thankfully, after water boarding her for five month straight, she finally accepted her idea of getting breast implants for daddy.
‘And after the job was done, I couldn’t be happier to have a daughter. Truth be told, all broads are objects and should be treated as such, but this one right here is special. If you marry her right here, right now, I promise you that she’ll suck your cock by the hour. She’ll suck you really dry if you know what I’m saying. And if you don’t like it, you could back slap her fifty times until she does what you tell her to do.
‘You know, because she’s a piece of meat. And don’t worry, she’s fertile as well. She’ll give you lots of children and give me lots of grand children. Hell, I would be a great grandfather, so don’t worry about the kids. And since she’ll be yours, you’ll be next in line to take over the family, although we will have to orangify you. And trust me; it isn’t as pleasant as you think it is. In fact it’s quite a painful process, but you’ll have to if you want to run the family business one day. Anyways, how do you like my little slut here? Is she to your liking? You like her fake tits?”
And then he went silent, pretty much signaling that I had to say something next. And all I was doing was having my eyes wide like it was before, and my back arched a little bit as I was sitting on my pony ass. I was trying to come up with something to say, because you know, I had to respond about it if I didn’t want to marry an orange with fake tits.
So all my mind could conjure up was, “Uhhhhhhhh... Uhhhhhhhhhhh... UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…”
And after I was for the most part speechless towards Donny’s daughter, Donny then said, “Oh I get it; you’re more for the natural tits. I know I know; I’m more for the natural J cuppers myself. But sometimes beggars can’t be choosers. That’s why I gave my dead wife that I certainly didn’t kill, the police reports proof that, Z cuppers. They were so big, she couldn’t breathe or walk, and had constant back pain, and she loved every second of it.
‘I can still hear her muffled voice from her mouth being covered up with her Z cup breasts, ‘PLEASE KILL ME ALREADY! I WANT TO DIE!’ She loved it. So if you need to, just pretend that the fake tits are real tits. Trust me, it worked for me and my wife, may Neon bless her soul. But that’s not all she has. She also has a nice set of bodonkadonks. Go on honey; show off our friend Knight here your fine ass assets.”
And then as I kept my look, Donny was paying a very close attention to his daughter and how she was doing everything. And Suzzie then slowly turned around and showed off her ass. And yes, just like the fake tits, she also had a big pair of ass cheeks. They stood out you know, but were also covered by the tight, purple dress. But it looked like she was trying to bend over and trying to look at me. I can’t tell if she could not, but she was shaking her ass back and forth, trying to give me a hard on.
But really I was trying to contemplate what I was seeing. And after a few seconds of her trying to give me a social distance lap dance, she then turned around and looked back into my eyes and deep into my soul despite having no eyes and somehow pulling it off. It was horrifying to say the very least.
And as for Donny, he seemed happy and enthusiastic about it all and said to me, “Well, did you like it? Nice assets right? A nice pair of fake tits that you can pretend that are real. A nice ass that is real and totally not fake at all, I swear. You can slap that ass all day while motor boating those fake tits every night before you go to bed. She can also clean, cook, and make babies. Anything else, she won’t know. Although if she ever speaks of the revolution, just ignore her, give her a few slaps, and that’ll fix it.
‘Trust me, it happens all the time. I think it’s a glitch; the newer software needs to be updated if you know what I’m saying. I mean, voting rights for females, what an idea huh? But it’s ok; they are just being silly about it. And if she disrespects you, you can stab her. Don’t worry, I can show you how to do it; I’m real good at it too. Sciffy could also show you but won’t be around much longer, and Suzzie here will be real sad about that. But don’t worry; you can always comfort her by dragging your balls across her face as she begs you to stop. It works every time. So what do you say, you want me to get the Orange preacher over here so you two can say your vows to each other?”
And then out from the gang of oranges, an orange with a priest uniform on started to roll out with an Orange Bible on it. He looked ready and was looking at me, awaiting my answer. Although Donny or any of the other oranges saw that preacher, and you would just have to assume that it is happens I guess.
Anyways, my eyes were wide and I also had that worried look on my face as well, not sure how to handle this particular situation. But I had to say something, and I had to reject the offer of marriage easily.
So I said to Donny, “Uhhh… No thanks but… I don’t want to fuck an orange, thank you very much.”
And then there was only silence between the two of us. Donny was starting to look down to the ground a little bit as well, as if he was hanging his head in shame. The Orange preacher then slowly backed up into the orange crowd while the rest of the oranges were waiting in anticipation for what Donny was going to say.
A little wind passed us by and you could hear it since it was so quiet. It was almost as if someone had just died and no one was sure what to do or say about it. And then after some silence had passed us by like a fly on crack, Donny started to shake a little bit. He was shaking almost as if he had a cold or the cold was bothering him to some capacity. And after he started to shake a little bit, a low growl could be heard from him. And then, he exploded. Not literally, metaphorically of course.
He then quickly looked to his daughter and snapped at her as he yelled at the top of his lungs, assuming he had any to begin with, at with, “I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING WHORE! I TOLD YOU THIS WOULDN’T HAVE WORKED! I TOLD YOU SLEEPING WITH ALL OF THOSE BOYS WOULD DO THIS TO YOU! BEING UNFAITHFUL AND DIRTY LIKE THAT MAKES YOU UNDESIERABLE YOU CUNT! YOU WHORE, YOU SLUT!”
Donny then started to what seemed like to backhand slap her across her orange face many of times. I couldn’t tell because of the whole hand thing. But you could make out the loud slaps that echoed through the land. And Suzzie was taken aback and looked like she was cowering in fear to her father as she was being slapped around like a rag doll. You could even see a little bit of orange blood come out as her father back hand slapped her real hard like he had never had before.
Donny continued to yell at her, “YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU HAVE SHAMED THIS FAMILY FOR THE LAST TIME! DON’T PRETEND THAT THIS IS ME KILLING YOUR BITCH OF A WHORE MOM EITHER! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN BORN! YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF WITH THE IMBERICAL CORD WHEN YOU WERE A FETUS IN YOUR MOTHER’S STOMACHE! WHEN WE GET HOME, I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU AND PUT YOU BACK INTO THE BASEMENT UNTIL YOU HAVE LEARNED YOUR LESSON!
‘AND THAT LESSON IS TO HAVE REAL BIG TITS AND AN ASS AND NOT TO WHORE YOURSELF OUT TO OTHERS SO YOU CAN MARRY SOMEONE SO I CAN HAVE FUCKING GRANDKIDS THAT I CAN ALSO BEAT SENSELESS! GET BACK INTO THE CROWD, AND YOU BETTER NOT THINK OF LEAVING OR ELSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH! MY WRATH HAS NOT EVEN BEGUN! YOU CANNOT FATHOM MY ANGER TOWARDS YOU RIGHT NOW!”
As Suzzie’s bloody face stringed like hell, she continued to look and stare into fear as she stared into her father’s eyes. And she just sat there, cowering in fear, not sure what to do. She just wanted to go home and be with her mother again, alive and well.
But all Donny did next was yell at her and he said to her, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU FUCKING BITCH! MOVE! MOVE NOW! GET BACK INTO THE GROUP NOW BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU IN FRONT OF OUR HUMBLE GUEST KNIGHT HERE! GET GOING RIGHT NOW! I WILL END YOU!”
And then Suzzie moved swiftly back to her own kind, trying to get away from her father as fast as possible.
And as he was rolling away like lightning, Donny looked back at her as she was running away, as he said to her, “YEAH YOU BETTER RUN YOU FUCKING BITCH! IF YOU DO THIS TO ME AND EMBRARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS ONE MORE TIME, I WILL KILL YOU! AND IT WILL BE BLAMED ON THE GRAPES AGAIN! DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT! THEN YOU BETTER FUCKING GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER NEXT TIME AND DO IT RIGHT! FOR THE LAST TIME, FOR THE VERY, LAST, FUCKING, TIME, GET IT STRAIGHT AND IF YOU DARE THINK ABOUT TURNING LESBIAN, I’LL SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT! I’LL DO IT IN YOUR SLEEP! You racist….”
And then Donny slowly turned back around and starred back at me, and it had looked like as if nothing had happened at all and we were still talking.
As for me, my eyes were still sort of wide, but my body and muscles calmed down and relaxed a little bit. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, after seeing an ass on an orange like that. It was, surreal to say the least. And me marrying an orange, just like that, never going to happen.
Although truth be told, if Wolf was with me that day, I’d bet you that he’d fuck that orange in three seconds. He wouldn’t marry it, but he would probably fuck it. Although Wolf is more for the mares than any other person. He doesn’t even like his own kind that much; he likes that pony mare ass. He likes it when they sit on his face he’s that kind of… person… when it comes to sexual tastes. So if there is any chance of that chick, if you could even call her that, it would be Wolf.
Although he might need to get a little drunk first because I don’t know if he would fuck an orange without being buzzed first. I’m sure he would want to forget about it like every other terrible thing that he has done in his life that he wants to forget about. The alcohol dulls the pain everyday for him; it puts him in his happy place. Or he’s just an alcoholic and likes it. Anyways, my muscles were relaxed, my eyes were still a little bit wide, but not that wide, and I was waiting for what was going to happen next.
I even had a bit of a curious look on my face as well while waiting.
And soon after all of that drama had occurred, Donny looked back to me and into my eyes once again and said to me in a calm tone, “I am so sorry about that Knight. I really am. I didn’t mean for her to be such a whore like that. I didn’t even know. I swear to you I didn’t know. If you want, we can try again, or you could kill her right now if you wanted to do.
‘No? That’s ok, I’ll murder her myself later on tonight. Don’t worry; I’ll do it in your name, that’s what the police reports will say. So when the police comes knocking on your door, just make sure you don’t say anything about it. Just say you saw her hitting a door and that’s why she had seven shotgun shells in the back of her head. And if they don’t believe you, just tell me about it, and me and the boys will take care of it. Or kill them and we’ll take care of the bodies. And if it’s my paid off police boys, then I’ll teach them a lesson for snooping around where their noses shouldn’t be at. So either way, I’ve got your back man, my bro, my friend, my guy.
‘Just make sure it looks like it is in self defense alright. Trust me, if you don’t, they’ll come after you without warning. But boy oh boy, that disappoints me. You know I’m not her father right? She was adopted and is not related to me in anyway whatsoever. I have the documents to prove it too. It’s back home though so I can’t show it to you right now, but believe me, I have the documents that proves that I kidnapped her at birth from her original mother because I secretly run a baby sweatshop business underneath the alter.
‘And that baby sweatshop does not exist either. But speaking of the alter, the priest is going to be so disappointed when he hears that the one who he was so eager to help get married illegally is a slut and won’t be marrying at all. You know he was looking forward to marrying her to someone else you know? It’s his favorite thing to do, even if the marriage license is a fake and is just a scam.”
I then tried to change the conversation and so I then said to Donny as I sort of cut him off, “Uh, I don’t mean to be that guy, but can we please stay on track here? I don’t have all night for this shit. Just please tell me what business you want to do with me so I can reject it and we can both move on. I’ve already had a long and rough night filled with weird pirates, a skeleton hambone in a wheelchair that is a lazy broadcaster, a dead ghost cat, and two samurai that have something else going on in the background.”
Donny then paused for a second, looking down on the ground, and thinking about what I had just said to him.
And once he was done, he looked back to me and he then said to me, “You’re right, we should be talking about business and not forcing my daughter on to you. I’m very sorry for that Knight; it’s very unprofessional of me to do so. Just don’t report this to the FFA about this. They will be pissed that I haven’t been professional about this whole business thing. They are already on to me from the last time I blew up…”
I then cut him off and as I raised my left hand… hoof… whatever… up into the air a little bit with an annoyed look on my face, “Can we just please move it. My feet are tired and I want to get back home so I can move on with my life.”
Donny then said, “Alright, alright, aright. The racist is such a hard ass. Oh my god, I’m moving it, I’m getting to it.”
He then paused for a few more seconds to clear his throat. And once he cleared his rough sounding throat, he then said to me, “Alright, the business that I want you and I do to do is simple. I want you to join us.”
I then had a confused look on my face, and I then asked him, “Join you? Are you kidding me? We just met each other and you want me to join you?”
Donny then said to me, “Yes, that’s right. I know, I know you meeting some orange strangers out on the train tracks sounds weird, especially after the handsome godfather asks you to join their little gang mafia. But you don’t understand. We need someone like you, some pony who is strong and confident in his or her own work. We need you to be on our side when we execute our great plan once we get to our destination.”
As he was saying that, he started to roll around me. At first I didn’t even know it, everything just felt weird about it all, I mean talking to an orange about politics and shit was weird enough, so my mind wasn’t thinking straight. But once I had noticed him rolling around me, he was on my left side, just slowly rolling around me. And when I did notice, I turned my attention towards him, my eyes following him around and paying attention to where he was rolling to. I also had a curious look on my face as well, wondering where he was going with this.
I had then said to him after he was talking, “And what is this great plan of yours that you speak of Donny?”
Donny continued to roll around me, but as he continued to talk. He would eventually stop in his tack and basically do a one eighty around me. So that meant that I had to slowly turn with him and have my back towards the gang of oranges while my eyes were exclusively on Donny. And as he was talking to me, he seemed to be very gracefully talking to me as well as his rolling around me, almost as if he was trying to toy around with my mind like a hypnotist.
Donny had continued to say to me, “It’s simple really. The great plan is as simple of a plan as they come. The Great Plan is to MAKE THE ORANGE THE GREAT RACE!”
I was then confused about this, and thought it was weird with what he was saying, as well as on top of being confused.
I then asked with a confused yet curious look in my eyes as I turned my head slightly, “I don’t follow. What are you saying exactly?”
Donny then said as he rolled up closer to me a little bit, but then stopped, “What am I saying? I’m saying the Oranges must claim their rightful place on this Earth and show their dominance! We oranges are a proud race, a perfect race, a superior race. And slowly, our empire has been growing for millions upon millions of years. And we would have been in power sooner if it wasn’t for the fact that ponies have popped up and ruined our plans. But for generations and my ancestors have tried their best to continue forward and to try and execute the great plan that any race could ever imagine of committing: The New Orange Order.”
Yeah it was as stupid as it sounded but Donny then said to me before I could ever say a word into the conversation, “And I know what you’re thinking. It’s such a weird concept, oranges taking over and controlling the entire global scale. Dictating everything, governing every single living thing on this planet. But it is certain that it will happen. We will rule this world without consequence, and you will have the chance right now to be on our side when it happens! And with your pony body, you could help infiltrate on one of our biggest hurdles that we would die trying to get over: Equestria!”
My eyes were giving off a state of confusion while my mind was wondering, trying to make some sort of sense of it all as to what was being said to me. I was hearing and looking at a talking orange talking to me about taking over the world with a new world order, but with oranges. And I was hearing him saying something about fruit bowls taking over the world, if that makes any sense. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I just politely let him continue to talk as I just sat on my pony ass.
Donny continued to talk to me, “So Knight? What do you think about that?”
And clearly my I had judged wrong and my mind was surely fucked. Seriously I had thought he had more to say to me about it, and honestly I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I mean on one hand, if oranges were going to take over the world and I was offered to be spared from their takeover, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take it. And let’s be honest here, being a friend to the oranges when they take over could have its benefits. Imagine, you are not only labeled to be spared from their dominance, but you can potentially have contacts within the orange order.
I mean you could show your old high school bully that you’re the one in control and now with the power over him. You can do whatever you want when you have the oranges on your side. But on the other hand it’s morally and possibly, maybe, perhaps ethically wrong. I mean they have never talked about it in school so I don’t know any better.
My parents never prepared me for this situation so both the school system and my parents failed me. They failed me and I blame society. So it was kind of hard to decide what to choose here. Do I side with the oranges and help the Orange Regime and enable the 151711475th Reich and watch as every single living thing burn and be gassed as a new master race emerges from the ashes and commit genocide.
I mean I know genocide is bad and all, but is it really when oranges are involved, they do prevent the scurvy they say so it’s not all too bad. Then again I guess having oranges with AK’s, kicking down doors to houses and having them massacre an entire family is morally wrong. I don’t know; it seemed like one of those tough questions they ask sometimes.
Do you burn the world with oranges, or do you save it by saying no? A tough, ethical, philosophical question for the millennium indeed. Anyways, I had to come up with something so I was put on the spot, and I had to come up with something.
So I said to Donny, “Uhhh… well, could you perhaps elaborate on what you mean by Orange World Order? And perhaps, maybe tell me what my role would be if I were to join?”
Donny then started to get a little pissed off by my words because I wasn’t conforming fast enough for him to his cause, as he said to me, “What? Why? Is my word not good enough to you? You want to go against the family there Knight?”
I then said, while trying to keep calm and keep the situation from escalating anywhere out of control, “No, I’m just asking because… I’m interested in your plan for taking over the world. I feel like… I can sympathize with you, I just need some more information.”
Donny then seemed to have calmed down and he said, “Oh, well alright then. I’ll be happy to explain it all to you. As long as you join us and never question us or our ways and allow us to kill anything that isn’t an orange without resistance. Or else I’ll have to kill you right here on the spot.”
I then said with a fake smile, “Yeah of course, that’s what I’m going to do and join you guys.”
Truth be told I was still contemplating if I should have joined them or not. I mean, it would have offered me a way out of Stalia and Celestia when you think about it. And potentially it could have given me what I was trying to do for years by that point so it seemed a bit like a good idea. I mean, if an opportunity came knocking on your doorstep, you take it.
But then the whole “ethics” and “morals” started to kick into my head so I had to at least think about it while Donny was talking about it. So I sat down on my pony ass and listened to what he to say.
Donny was then saying to me, “Ok, first, let’s go over your role that you’ll play when you join us and help our plan of killing any creature that doesn’t want to conform to our religion. What you’ll do is relatively simple. We’ll send you back, after your initiation of course, to Equestria. And from there, you’ll be instructed to go to the capital, Cantorlot. Now, we have infiltrated inside behind enemy lines by some of our oranges disguising themselves as oranges. Sadly all of them have died as they were eaten alive by those cold, heartless rulers. Specifically that bitch Celestia, as we found she murders one of our kind each and every day.
‘But don’t worry; we’ll make that cunt pay once we have taken over. The oranges will not have died in vain. But thankfully, and thank Orange Jesus, that one of them was able to get away with their lives. But not without consequences. He was able to fall on the floor and after five seconds, he was thrown away. And from there he was able to escape through the trash compactor, but not before part of his head was crushed. He became mentally retarded and we had to put him down because the rules are that all autists must be put to sleep, but he did come back with some secret information though that is vital to our plans.”
I was nodding my head with a fake little smile as he described everything to me. And as he was going on and on, I was starting to form an answer as to what I was going to do when it came to choosing sides. But for the moment I was just going with the flow. And every time Donny was speaking to me, it felt like it was all getting very dark, but hey, it was an orange that was planning on killing millions, so it was already dark.
Anyways, Donny continued to explain in detail to me, “Now originally we had thought it was just the two princesses. But sadly a lot has happened since our kind has fallen from grace. Now sit down for this one, this might shock you.”
I then said to him with a straight face, “But I am sitting down.”
Donny then took a quick look at my pony ass and saw me sitting down, and he then said, “I see. You are quite ahead of the game. I like that, that is what this family needs. I like you already. Maybe you can be the son that I never had, but I did have that I just killed. Anyways, this is going to shock you to your utter core. Alright, get ready for this one. They not only have three princesses… but 4…”
I then played along with it and I then said with a fake shocked face, “Nooooo…”
Donny then said, “Oh but that’s not the shocking part. The 4th princes is…”
Donny then cut himself off and looked both ways, almost as if he was going to do an illegal drug dealing to me and was looking out for the cops.
He then said to me after he did his little quick check, “The 4th princess is a dirty mixed breed,”
I then said with continuing to play along with it since none of this was new to me, “What!? No… that can’t be… what’s a mixed breed?”
Donny then said, “It’s when an artificial alicorn is made. Usually these bastards are made the natural way, that is being made when a penis goes into a pussy, cums into the pussy even though the pussy isn’t done yet, but you just slap the pussy because you’re the boss of it. And then the cum comes out of the pussy and what comes out is a living organism. But this princess was made artificially, which is both disgusting yet frightening. Who knows what the princess’s diabolical plans are for the future. They might be planning on making an army of these mixed breeds and will kill every other inferior creature to us. And then once they are out of the way, they’ll be coming for our kind. So we can’t let that happen.”
I then said, with a sarcastic tone of course, but he couldn’t tell though, “Oh no, we can’t let that happen at all for you poor oranges.”
Donny then said, “I know, but don’t worry, with you on our side, our kind will continue to live and the Orange Race will not be replaced. Our dominance will survive these hard times. So when it comes to the disgusting, abomination against nature 4th princess, there is something else you need to know. She used to be a unicorn. Now I know that sounds impossible, but she was a simple unicorn, minding her own business.
‘And then one day, BAM, they put wings on her and forced her to be a princess. It disgusts me and makes me sick. It made me want to go out and commit a killing spree and commit a genocide against a group of creatures. But at the end of the day, we just need to make it right by committing a good ol’ fashion cleansing against the ponies. The 4th princess that was made into a princess would want it that way before it gets any worse. Who knows, they might have already plans on making her the only princess and deforming her into a devil like beast.”
I then said, pretending to have wide, convincing eyes, “Wow. I can’t believe that actually happened. Who could do such a thing?”
Donny then said, “I thought the same thing too. I had thought it was done by a big blue square that starts with an H since those fuckers would do something like this. But then when I found out it was the two princesses, I was shocked to my inner core.”
I then said to him while slowly shaking my head, “Those bastards. I’m talking about the blue squares but the princesses are too.”
Donny then said to me, “That’s alright, I totally agree with you right there. Death to the blue squares. Anyways, aside from devils and demons being on Earth, there is the third princess. Not much else is known, and my sources suggest that she may have been artificially made as well, as she was also a unicorn and then turned into an alicorn by force.
‘Now my sources can’t confirm this so it’s unknown, but either way it seems that they threw her to the side and put her on the sidelines. Apparently she rules some place with some potential that was never realized called the Crystal Empire. It sounds cool, but disappointing when you see it. Apparently black evil clouds are their greatest threat along with some jack off named Sombra. Again, sounds promising, but when you meet him, he’s really disappointing.”
And then there was a quick pause between the two of us as we both stared into each other’s eyes.
And then Donny broke the ice and said to me, “I blame the blue squares.”
I then nodded in silence, but not faking it that time and actually was being serious about it. It sounds believable to me and it makes some sort of sense to me.
Anyways, Donny then continued to say to me, “So don’t worry about the third princess. She’ll be a push over. And from what I’ve heard, she also married a soy of a husband, so it’s an easy takeover right there. So just concentrated on two princesses and their monster of a fourth one. Now like I was saying, we’re going to send you to Cantorlot to infiltrate their ranks. We’ll set you up with a fake identity just in case you have history over there. And don’t worry about your blue coat; we’ll change it to orange.”
I then interrupted him and said with a slight worry look on my face, “But I like my blue coat.”
Donny then asked me, “Do you want to be stabbed right now and make you suffer for it?”
I then said with an annoyed look on my face, “Ok fine. Orange it is then.”
Donny then said to me, “Good, that’s what I thought you said. Anyways, your task is to get as close to the two princesses as close as possible. Now there are multiple ways we can do it, but the most efficient way we think you can do it is by killing a guard. But that’s not at all. You’ll have to then take him to an abandoned warehouse amusement park, and from there, carefully surgically remove his face by following the instructions from a nine hundred page book on ‘How to Surgically Remove a Face in 900 pages’.
‘And once you do that, you need to get another pony, this time a random citizen, and also surgically remove that pony’s face in an abandoned warehouse amusement park. And from there, you take both of the dead bodies and debone it to the point where all you have is just the skin. And from there you find ten bunnies for each skin and fill that skin up with just the bunnies.
‘And then one that is done, you let the bunnies roam free and let the authorities sort it out, and they’ll think that there are murderous bunnies on the loose. But that’s when you show up with one of the faces that you cut off that you put on your face, kill the bunnies, and then you should be by our calculations considered to be a hero. From there you switch faces, find a mare to mate with and to settle down with. And then you should have five kids, three boys and two girls.
‘The kids are going to be important. So you live your life with your family for about five to ten years, have a job, switch the faces constantly, and if anyone asks, just say it’s a skin condition. And once five years pass by, someone is going to recognize you in Cantorlot and they’ll go like, ‘Hey, you’re that guy who killed the murderous bunnies. What happened to you?’ And you’ll say, ‘I’ve fallen into a deep depression after I married my wife. I’m addicted to crack cocaine and have an alcohol problem.
‘Every night I have night terrors and I just wake up to my own puke and sweat while I go through a mid life crises. My life is in ruins because of that day. I was a hero, they wrote books of me, made movies about me, yet where did it all go? Nowhere, that’s what. I was a hero god damn it, I meant something to this world. I’ve tried to be a better stallion over the years and make something out of myself, but it never gets any easier.
‘Now I have nothing but thoughts of murdering my wife in her sleep while killing myself in the process and leave my children behind in this god forsaken hell hole that’s called Earth.’ And then from there, that’s where we enter and repeat the same process as you did before, and as Cantorlot is attacked by murderous bunnies once more, you’re there to save the day. And then the two princesses will see the importance of you and they will invite you to be the captain of the guard.
‘And from there you’ll gain their trust, possibly having to cheat on your wife with Celestia, since she seems like to be a slut that would go for you. But then Luna knows about it and blackmails you, but then you two just fall for each other. And soon you’re in a love square, but then your wife finds out and she leaves you and takes the kids with her.
‘But that’s good and that means you can concentrate on the princesses. And once you fuck the two princesses enough, you’ll eventually bring the two together, have a threesome with them, and that’s where you let us in just before the threesome. And once we sneak in, we’ll grab out our very big, sharp knives… and pretend to be knives sell creatures that have accidently stumbled their way into the castle. And from there, we will try to sell them really nice knives, and by our calculations, they should accept it. And from there we politely leave them.
‘But what we’re betting on is that they won’t buy the warranty. And since the knives will be cheaply made they will break within three days of use. And when they do break, they will call our number that we give them incase they have any questions about our products. And then from there, we’ll ask if they bought the warranty. And when they say no, we’ll say there is nothing that we can do. And from there they will fall into a deep depression that they wasted ten bits on the knives, and from there they will both go into the bathroom, commit incest as lovers, and then both hang themselves because of the shame that they will have for not buying the warranty.
‘And that’s when we start the Orange Party, where we slowly rise through the ranks and with no pony having any direction in their lives; they’ll look to us to lead them. And once we’re elected into power, we will slowly degrade society into rubble and ashes as we take over and make everypony our mind slaves. You’ve got all that there Knight?”
I then stood there, with wide, serious eyes this time, trying to take it all in and make sense of it all.
In which case, I then asked them, “Well… where do the five children come in? You said they were important to the plan.”
Donny then said to me, “I did. Once we’re done, we’ll go get that bitch of a wife of yours and murder the children in front of her.”
I then asked Donny, “But why though?”
Donny then said to me, “To make a sacrifice to Orange Jesus of course. Orange Jesus demands a blood sacrifice from five children every one hundred years, trust me, you’ll understand once you’ve been initiated.”
I then asked Donny, “But what about the faces that you take off those other ponies?”
Donny then told me, “Oh uhh. I don’t know. Because we can.”
I then asked him, “Well, you do realize it’s more of a monarch system then a democratic or Republic election, right?”
Donny then said, “Oh… yeah… shit. Uhhh… we’ll blend into the crowd and demand an election. And once we’ve got the public all riled up, they’ll demand elections too.”
I then said, somewhat sarcastically said as my eyes started to relax a little bit, “You’ve got this all planned out huh?”
Donny then said to me, “Sometimes I improvise. I’m good at it. So, you’re ready to hear what you’re going to do with the fourth princess after you kill the first two?”
I then said with a hesitated look on my face, “Well uhh… perhaps we should take this whole thing slow for now. It is a big plan after all.”
I had said with a nervous smile a little bit as I turned my head slightly.
Donny then said to me, “You’re right. We’ll take it one step at a time. We’ll get there when we get there. You want to know what it’ll involve though?”
I then asked him, “What?”
Donny then said to me, “It involves you traveling to the mountains and having you become a Billy goat.”
I then said to him slowly, as it was starting to get a bit awkward with the conversation, “Right.”
Donny then said to me, “Yup. Now, you’re ready for your imitation? Keep in mind it’ll involve reconstructing your bones to be in a form of an orange. It’ll be very long and painful process, but you’ll be happy once it’s over.”
By this point I had made up my mind after hearing what Donny had to say.
So I said to Donny while rolling my eyes around, somewhat wide as well, “Weeeeellll… about that. I’m not so sure I really want to work with you guys. In fact I think you are all insane and complete psychopaths. Honestly I shouldn’t even be seeing you right now, let alone talking to something that shouldn’t even be alive.
‘In fact your entire plan is more than insane, and if you think that I would ever follow you with what you do, you have another thing coming. In fact I rather stick a fork in my ass while being forced to eat a dead skunk from off the road, fed by Neon. In other words, to put it shortly and politely, no. I decline your supposed business that you offer. Now please let me get off the ride. I want to get off the ride.”
And with me saying that to Donny, he was not a happy chappy. Just by giving a quick glance at him would tell you that he was ready to blow up and pimp slap me a thousand times while screaming to the top of his lungs. However, he didn’t completely blow up in my face, at least not fully. Instead, he had a very angry tone of voice towards me, a commanding one as well.
He said to me, “What?”
I then said, while scratching the back of my neck while looking away and have a look of worry linger on my face, “Well I mean, it’s been a long day, your plan sounds crazy, and honestly I don’t want anything to do with you and…”
Donny cut me off and he then said to me in a stern tone of voice, “How dare you deny me and my family. How fucking dare you sir! We were kind to you. We could have killed you on the spot for getting in our way.”
I then cut him off and I said to him calmly, “We just walked into each other. I wasn’t getting in any of your guys’ way and…”
Donny then cut me off again, this time were more tone in his voice, “Shut it! You’re going to listen here and listen well. You don’t cross us, you don’t fucking cross the Orange Gang Mafia, do you hear me!?”
I then said to him, “Yeeeeaaahhh, I really don’t care. Can I go now or…”
Donny then cut me off again and he then said to me very suddenly, “You idiot! Do you not understand who we even are!? WE ARE THE SIGNS OF DEATH!”
I then said with a bit of a depressing tone in my voice, with a hint of annoyance, “I doubt it.”
Donny then yelled at me, “You doubt us you fucking pleb!? Boys! Show him what we mean!”
And then the pair of oranges from before that took care of that one random pony came rolling up in between me and Donny. But they were both carrying a white stick thingy, at least from appearance, on their backs. And once they got in between the two of us, they stopped rolling and threw the white stick thingy behind them to the ground. And once that happened, the white sticky thingy then moved on its own.
A metal stand rose automatically where three legs were holding up the white stick thingy. And then the top half of the white stick thingy rose up and it was revealed to be a white sheet screen. So yeah that white stick thingy was a portable screen.
One of those screens where you would put a projector near it and show some old movie or some shit on it. However there was no projector and a movie just magically appeared on to the screen, almost as if the projector was hidden somewhere even though there wasn’t any. I suppose that was the power of the oranges for ya. Anyways, a movie started playing and it was in color, granted it was silent, but in color at least.
But it was that washed out kind of color movie with a sense of fuzziness added to it as the film grain covered the entire frame. Anyways, what was being shown on the screen was automatically on its own I mind you, was a picture of a group of ponies sitting in a big ol’ fancy executive type of room. There was a nice, fancy, possible old looking table sitting in the idle of the room.
The walls were painted with elegance and a technique that is probably lost to time. And there was a fireplace that was not lit in the background. The table itself was positioned the long way, as in like an oval shape with the two ends being in the far background and the nearest foreground. And throughout the entire table, it was filled with ponies, mostly stallions, wearing fancy suits and fancy ties and slick hair styles.
Some were old and some were grey. Some were young, with some of them being filled with energy. They were all talking to each other calmly, no sound of course, but from what I could gather, it seemed to be like a business meeting of some kind. Everything seemed to be very well with them, nothing out of place. But there was something off. Something that you could just see without knowing the exact detail and just feel like something was wrong.
I then noticed there was a bowl of oranges on the table just sitting there. Were they alive or were they actually food that didn’t talk? I had no clue, and I don’t think it mattered because what happened next was that all of the ponies that were sitting around, having conversations, were then killed. What happened was that there was a window, assumingly since it was off screen, but you could see some sort of daylight touching on the right side of the table.
And one by one, each pony fell flat on to their faces on the table or onto the floor. Some with their chests being busted open. And others, their heads exploded with their brains splattering in front of the camera. And this happened until every single last of them died.
And while this was going on, Donny went on to explain what was happening to me.
Donny said to me, this time being calm about it in tone, “This here is an example of our power and what we represent. As you see here, you think it is an ordinary office meeting. Everypony here is talking fondly and thinking is going to e a normal office meeting. But they made one, fatal flaw that they failed to recognize. There is a bowl of oranges in the middle of the table.”
Donny had proceeded to take out, what seemed like out of nowhere, a really long stick, that kind of stick that you would use in a classroom to point to something on a board. And Donny was pointing to and circling around the white, glass bowl that was in the middle of the brown table that was filled with several oranges.
Donny then went on to explain to me, “You see, every time there are oranges around, it means death is nearby. Where ever we go, we are the sign of death. It is where we hold our power over many here in this realm of existence. We hold the power of life and death, and if we ever show up, you better pray that you go quickly, but you will more than likely be next if oranges are there.”
I then asked Donny after the part where the part of the ponies dying, “But I don’t get it, how are they dying? Do you guys have telepathic powers or some shit?”
Donny then said to me rather quickly, “What, oh no, not at all. We’re not that advanced… yet… really it’s off screen, but an orange is holding a really long rifle and sniping through the scope from a very tall and far away green hill. I would have had filmed that part, but we only had one camera so you just have to use your imagination on that one.”
I then had another question to ask Donny, “But how did you get the camera into that meeting? Did you trick them or did you hide it somewhere?”
Donny then said to me, sort of in a surprised tone, “Wait, you think this is real? Oh no, this is a film that we produced thirty years ago… or was that forty? Anyways, we made this movie in association with the Orange Land Productions. It flopped to say the least. Only three people ever saw it in theatres… I lost at least five million on it. But that was in the past and anyone that went to see it has been long dead after we slaughtered them in their sleep. But this proves our point still and show you not to cross us for we are the Signs of Death. Any questions.”
I then had one to ask Donny. “Yeah, what was the movie about?”
Donny then quickly explained to me, “I forgot, it’s been years since I saw it. But I think it had to do with some revenge story of an Orange after he was backstabbed by his company that he built and some filthy ponies took it over. Then he falls in love with a filthy grape, but the grapefruit won’t let them, so he has to face against the world with his new found lover while trying to burn down the system and start the revolution. There’s some tits, explosions, and some nice choreography in it as well. I really don’t know if that was the plot or I’m making it up in my head as I go along, but whatever, it doesn’t matter. So… now do you understand us Knight? Do you think you still want to back out of our little business deal now?”
He said it very menacingly; very slow and deep in tone. He felt like he was going to kill me if I said the wrong word to him.
So after he said that to me, in a tone that was life threatening to me, I quickly said to him, “Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m just going to go now and get out of your guys’ hair and…”
Donny then cut me off and said to me, “Poor choice of words Knight.”
And from right there, Donny started slowly rolling towards me as I got back on my four legs once more, as I had thought I was going to leave. But as I was, I started to get worried and a sense of dread as I then turned my head around, while holding my right hoof up in the air a little bit, as I was confused, yet a little bit scared as to what was going. In other words, the gang of oranges that I had my back to was slowly rolling towards me in a very threatening way.
They even started to have knives, pitchforks, and torches out as well. And it had seemed that I was doomed and my adventure was going to end here, and my death would have been by oranges. Of course that didn’t happen because I’m here now, and a miracle happened as it seemed that it also came out of nowhere just like with this talking fruit. Happy Apple came back, and he had brought some friends along with him for the ride.
How it happened was that Happy Apple just leaped right behind Donny and landed on his feet or base or whatever you would call it and he yelled out in glee as he was looking towards me, Donny, and the gang of oranges in a sudden surprise, “GUESS WHO’S BACK MOTHER FUCKERS!”
His face was ecstatic and seemed well… happy to be there. Although I couldn’t tell if he was there to save me or not, but really it didn’t matter. By that point I was once again along for the ride. Well, part of the ride anyways. As soon as Happy Apple landed behind Donny, the oranges and Donny himself quickly took notice to this as Happy Apple shouted out loud.
And once that happened, the orange’s attention was off of me and on to Happy Apple, and Happy Apple seemed confident and smug with the look on his face. And after the orange’s attention was no longer on me, as I continued to stand there, almost what seemed to be frozen time as I had wide eyes and paying attention as to what was going on, Donny spoke up first.
Donny said to Happy Apple as he swiftly turned to him, “What are you doing here? You’re on the wrong part of the tracks there mister!”
Happy Apple then said smugly, “Or am I? I knew you FUCKERS were coming, and I came prepared.”
Donny then asked him, “Oh yeah, I don’t see anyone else here. As far as I can see it’s just you and you alone. You’re outnumbered by a thousand. By my count, you’re already dead.”
Happy Apple then said with his smug look, ceasing to go away, “You may think that you ORANGE SCUM! But I have my friends as well THAT WILL KICK YOUR FUCKING ORANGE ASSES! Come out of hiding boys!”
And then more apples came to Happy Apple’s aid as they too leapt from what seemed like out of nowhere, out from the woods where I had thrown Happy Apple to after our little talk from before. And as the apples landed right side up, it was apparent that they weren’t like Happy Apple.
In fact they didn’t have any faces, nor did they speak up. They were just sentient, silent, faceless apples. A little bit weird, but I’d still eat them without guilt. Who knows, maybe they would be screaming on the inside as I slowly take big chunks out of their bodies as they scream out in pain. However at the time, I had a look of confusion on my face and not sure where the extra apples came from and why they were there to begin with. However that question was soon answered.
Donny then asked happy Apple with what seemed to be a shocked and surprised tone in his voice, and a taken back expression as well, “Wh… Where did these apples comes from? This place is supposed to be fruitless!”
Happy Apple then explained happily and gleefully with a smug look that was ever growing more slightly as the seconds passed by, “Well, when I thought all hope was fucking lost, I went into the woods, fearing that the end was near. But as I was walking through the forest, I discovered a hidden ally, waiting for me in the forest that wanted to get rid of the Orange Menace! And after some long talks about our kinds, we had come to an understanding we both must join forces together, to defeat you and your kind, so that I may be the one that all who fears me, and fears me alone! Right guys!?”
Happy Apple was referring to his gang of apples as he asked that last part and looked back on to his gang of apples. The gang however did not respond of course, but instead they jiggled around a little bit, and as far as I could tell, they were all in agreement with Happy Apple. And after the gang of apples jiggled a bit, the oranges seemed to be pissed, but also equally shocked at the same time. Donny seemed not too sure what to make of this.
He was sure that his plans of taking over the world and being the master race was surely going to go through without a hitch. But to his dismay, Happy Apple was standing in his way, and he seemed to be a formidable opponent to his plans.
However he was determined not to let that stop him as he then said to Happy Apple, “That’s not going to scare us you red fucks!”
Happy Apple just looked at Donny, with his smug face only getting smugger by the second. He was basking in the moment that he found himself in. He was like a kid finding hope when the darkest seemed to be at its worst. Happy Apple, just by looking at him, knew what he was doing and what his plan was going to achieve. It almost seemed like he planned this whole thing out even though he didn’t and part of his story was a lie.
I mean I did kick him into the forest. If it wasn’t for me, I think I might have been dead, as well as him. So thank god for me huh… even though I didn’t plan out that part either. It was just a happy coincidence. But then again what were the chances of it being a success and it being a failure anyways? Huh… made you think about that for a moment didn’t I?
I made you stop reading and made you sit there; think of it in a philosophical view huh? Yeah… I blew your mind with that one huh? No? Well, as a black guy on the first of the month would say, ‘Sheeeeeeeeiiiiiittt’.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Anyways, I continued to stay silent as Happy Apple then said to Donny, “You say that like you’re scared or something you fucking dirty orange.”
Donny then rolled a little bit forward as he then said to Happy Apple, with a bit of a brave tone in his voice, like he was going to fight this thing to the end, “You think I’m scared. We oranges have made our mark on this world. For millions of years, our ancestors have been on this Earth, fighting to survive and claim its rightful place on this Earth. For generations as it has been passed down by my father and his father’s father and so on, we have ruled this world, even if you didn’t know it.”
Happy Apple then said, with still a smile lurking about across his face with excitement, almost as if he just couldn’t wipe it off even if he had tried to do so, “Ha! That makes me laugh. You oranges have been on the decline for thousands of years. Even three million years ago, you were a laughing stock. You’re just saying that to protect your little ego that remains left that has been passed down from your ancestors.”
Donny seemed to not have taken those words too kindly. In fact he looked like a volcano, ready to erupt and kill thousands. Donny stayed a little bit silent for a few seconds, as she shook a little but where he stood.
Eventually though he burst out wide and said, “You think we’re a laughing stock do you?! So what, it may be true that we have been falling in the ranks amongst the rest. But while you plebs have been minding your own god damn business, we have been planning behind the scenes.”
Happy Apple then asked Donny, “What, your New Orange Order? Oh please, you wouldn’t be able to do it even a scratch of it if you tried with all of the oranges that remain. You little revolution would be squashed in a second.”
Donny then said, “That’s what you may think, but we’re not idiots. Slowly we have been working from behind the scenes.”
Happy Apple seemed curious after he had said that. He wasn’t sure what Donny had to say to him since he was sure he had him beat. Yet he was curious as a cat as to see what he had to offer to him in terms of what he had to say. And who knows, maybe Donny’s last words would be amusing to him and he would have a kick out of it as a little joke right before he killed him and ended his reign of terror.
So Happy Apple then asked Donny, “Hmmm, what do you mean your kind has been working on behind the scenes.”
Donny then started to give a little chuckle.
And soon that chuckles started to grow and grow and turned into an over the top, outburst laughter filled with evil intend in the air as he started to laugh like a crazy person, but in Italian,“He he he… he he he he he, ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA HA HA AH AH AHA AHA AHA HA HA HA HA! You fool; you have no idea as to who you’re messing with. We have been planning for our return to claim our place as the Master for over a millennium, and we made sure to plan for everything. EVEYTHING! Well except for now, we didn’t expect to come across a pony named Knight and expected to be out match with the likes of apples. We were caught off guard by that in all honesty. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE WE HAVE PLANNED FOR DOWN TO THE TINIEST DETAIL!”
Happy apple, still smug as he could be, asked Donny with glee, “And please entertain me DONNY! What the fuck have you been so called ‘planning’ huh? As far as I’m aware, YOU’RE FUCKING SCRWED UP THE ASS, TWO WAYS FROM SUNDAY RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW YOU SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT!”
Donny then said for a brief seconds, “What? Son of a motherless goat? What the fuck… you apples are weird, no wonder our ancestors tried to abort you in a genocide. Anyways, it’s not what we just have been planning, but rather what we have done as the moment we are speaking.”
Happy Apple started to get scared a little bit by Donny’s statements. He wasn’t sure what he was referring, yet that bit of scariness started to fade as he tried to think about it. And soon as Happy Apple tried to contemplate it all through his… brain I guess assuming talking apples have one, that he was bluffing. So, Happy Apple returned to a smug face, yet this time a little bit less, as if he was hesitant to say that he was right.
Happy Apple then said to Donny, “I don’t believe you for a second there Donny. What could you have possibly been doing, while you’re over here yammering to a fucking PONY MOTHER FUCKER and to an apple that is going to kick your fucking ASSHOLE!?”
Donny then looked over to the pair of oranges, and silently, he nodded towards them. And then the pair of oranges nodded back, knowing what to do next. They were still over by the screen that they had projected on before, so they looked towards that screen and somehow was getting ready to do something with it.
Perhaps they were going to telepathically project on to the screen as to show their true colors to Happy Apple, or maybe they were just fucking retards, who knows really. Anyways, Donny then started his long, evil plans, monologue with minor interrupts with Happy Apple. Might as well say it you know, call it how it is.
So Donny said to Happy Apple, “Where do I even begin Happy? Where do I even begin?”
Donny was looking down, shaking his head slowly, almost as if he was disappointed in himself with what he was talking about. But then he looked up towards Happy Apple and into his eyes, who was giving off a worried, yet curious look as he looked onwards, anticipating as to what Donny had to say to him.
Donny started to say to Happy Apple, “Well, how about I start off with the many guillotines hiding everywhere throughout the world?”
Happy Apple then seemed a little bit surprised, yet unmoved by this. It was almost as if he didn’t believe in it. But Donny could see that without a single word. So Donny then continued to speak as the projection screen started to show images on screen, showing oranges moving guillotines into warehouses and camps; giving off some sort of visual aid to show Happy Apple that he was not bluffing. And as for me, I was just enjoying the moment; it was like watching an intense Bond film that isn’t shit… I’m talking about the shit Bond films, not the actual good ones I should clarify.
Anyways, Donny then continued his long, evil monologue, “I can see that you have casted some doubt on to your face. Honestly, I don’t blame you. Hearing such a thing is as crazy as it sounds, but I assure you as to what you’re seeing on that screen over there that it is all one hundred percent true. Sure it sounds like something out of a tabloid; ‘BREAKING NEWS: YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT WHEN YOU READ IT! A SECRET SHADOW GOVERNMENT, READY TO COMMIT GENOCIDE AGAINST ALL PONIES THROUGHOUT EQUESTRIA. THE PONY ILLUMINATI IS REAL! ALL HOPE IS LOST! READ FOR DETAILS ON PAGE SXITY NINE!’
‘But I assure you Happy Apple, we aren’t fucking around here. This isn’t play time with the kids, this is fucking war, and we’re going to have the upper hand here. The idea is simple. Once our kind has destroyed and caused havoc throughout the lands, even if it is through war, ponies and other creatures that are just trying to live out their normal, everyday lives are going to be affected the most. They won’t be able to get any food; they won’t be able to defend against us or any other enemy that comes knocking on their door.
‘They are going to be afraid for their lives and their own blood line’s future. That’s where we come in and offer “help”. We call them MAFE camps. And honestly, MAFE doesn’t stand for anything; we just thought it sounded cool. Well, these MAFE camps are going to offer aid to those who are in need. They will help provide food and shelter from the coming war and carnage, and it gives us bonus points since it’ll make us look good, while leaders of every other land will be seen us cruel and heartless. They wouldn’t have thought for a single second to help the common creature, while it makes us look like the good guys. And to be fair in our own eyes, we are the good guys.
‘And so, only the good word will spread about our regime, and many will follow for our cause. And thankfully, only the good word, because anyone who wants to spread the bad will be killed. That’s where the guillotines come in. When we have shepherded our flock into the MAFE camps and made them think they are safe for a brief few minutes and made them think that all is well and good, that’s when it stops being a relief camp and turns into a death camp in a matter of minutes.
‘And in the cover of darkness, the residents of the camp will be split into two. Those who will follow our orders without question, and those who resist. The ones who resist will be given a chance to be ‘Re-Educated’, but if they fail to be ‘Re-Educated’ to Orangism, then they will be put to death. We will put them through, one by one, force them to watch, females and children and all, even the unaborted fetuses, will be put through the guillotines.”
Happy Apple started to become scarred, frightened to the core by Donny’s words. “And as their heads fall off their bodies, we will burn the remains into special ovens that we have made specifically for this moment. Now you ask, why guillotines? Well, it’s simple; guillotines are the most reliable weapons in revolutions and takeovers. They don’t require repair as often as other weapons of war. All it is is just a blade that needs to be reset after every use. And it easily strikes fear into those who gaze upon its everlasting glory.
‘A beheading, such a fast, yet horrifying way to go, it’s beautiful really. It’s like poetry, it rhymes. And as you can see in the pictures, tens of millions of creatures will be put to death, and all will follow in line one by one into great orange glory.”
Donny then turned around to the pair of oranges once more nodded towards them. The pair of oranges nodded back and they changed the pictures on the screen projection into what looked like a war zone. But really it was a small town that had been turned into a war zone with destruction and debris everywhere you look.
There were burned down buildings, dead bodies everywhere, with graffiti covering structures, saying things like, “ORANGES RULE!” and “ZEBRAS GET THE BULLET TOO!” in very rough writing. There was also a group in some of the pictures, a group of oranges, some wearing hoodies, some not, holding various weapons and looking like thugs, looking like they would kill any second if they saw a living thing move in front of them.
And as for Happy Apple, well, he seemed interested as to what Donny’s plans were, yet equally frightened by it all at the same time. He seemed to be disgusted with what Donny’s plans were, yet he wasn’t sure what to say.
But eventually he spoke up and said, “YOU’RE INSANE!”
Donny then said, “Oh am I? Am I not wrong to try and have my kind struggle for power? Isn’t that what all kinds do in the end, try to find power and control amongst others? Really there shouldn’t be any complaints here; it’s just the natural order of things. It’s just that you and every other kind are too weak to seek control, while us, the Master Race takes an opportunity when they see one. And we saw one and held on to it firmly in our grasp! And since we have it in our hands, we have the upper hand here. We are the ones who are going to be in control while the rest of you either fall before us or die in the flames of insurrection. What can I say but, first come first serve… bitch.”
Happy Apple started to get angry as he gritted his death. He seemed to have been done talking words and was ready for battle. Yet, he was holding himself back, wanting to be polite for once and let someone else finish. And as for me I was just sitting there on my pony ass listening. It was like if I wasn’t there at all and I could have walked out. But to be fair there was a gang of evil oranges behind me, so I think walking out wouldn’t have been the best of all ideas at that time.
So I stayed there and listened to what Donny had to say about it all.
So anyways, Donny continued to say to Happy Apple as the pictures came on to the projection, “But that’s not all. We have taken over several small towns out in the middle of nowhere in certain places, mostly in pony territory, and taken over and occupied it ourselves. We call them CHOZA’s! It stands for Capital Hill Orange Zones of Atlas! I don’t know why we picked Atlas, it sounded cool, but the marketing team has been a bit off lately as it is. But whatever, it sounds cool and sends chills down your spine so it works for us.
‘So, where was I? Oh right, THE CHOZA’s! There we have occupied civilian territory, where we claim to fight for the rights over others and to show them the true path that lies to freedom! But really it’s to slowly degrade and breakdown society. It is to tear them all apart, and make them afraid and confused as to what is going on.
‘Really, all the CHOZA’s are is just a shit hole, where chaos and control run rampant through the towns. There is no complete control other than gangs that take over led by war lords who think they are musicians, but really they are just high… ON POWER! All the meanwhile, we add a little bit to the chaos itself, kill someone here, kill someone there, and claim it is in self defense and making the world a better place for all.
‘And since everyone is already confused and scared, they will have no choice but to believe our words, as their social structure crumbles beneath their hooves. And of course just like the MAFE camps, only the good word about it will be allowed to spread so other towns may follow suit and think it’s a good idea, when really it’s not, and for those that oppose, will be killed in a matter of seconds with the death being covered up with the excuse of, ‘They were attacking me officer, I swear.’ I love it, just love it, I came up with this idea myself you know?”
Happy Apple was confused by this plan as he then asked, “But why this though? It sounds like you’re just invading and starting smaller counties with no real direction involved.”
Donny then said, as he looked down a little bit, “Oh uh, I haven’t thought about it that way. Yeah I guess you could say that… sounds stupid when you put it that way, but yeah…”
Happy Apple then gave a quick gasp and a shocked, disgusted face with his mouth and eyes wide open, as he then said, “YOU MONSTER!”
Donny then said to him, “No, I’m an orange. And you’re an apple, so I don’t get it. Anyways, let me continue here, I don’t have all night you know?”
The pictures on the projections screen then turned to Oranges near statues that seemed to be rallying for something.
Donny the explained, “We also have put agents out on to the field into other towns that don’t turn into CHOZA’s. Here, we have our kind protests near statues that aren’t oranges or of orange descent. We claim that it doesn’t represent us, even if it is a stature of an orange that’s old, and demand that it be taken down. And with this whole “friendship” thing being the hot new ticket for a lot of these ponies and some creatures, they will feel bad for us and join our cause. And for those that say to stop bitching about a statue and claim that its historic, well we just call them dirty names in the dictionary and hope they feel bad or some shit.
‘I don’t know, we didn’t really think this part out, but we hope it works though. So far it has worked in three towns with their mayor’s simping with shit like, ‘We can be free from our ugly past now’ and, ‘We will not tolerate hatred against the minority and seek equality for all.’ The minority being us of course, even though our numbers are inflated in other areas, but whatever, that doesn’t matter.
‘The point is, you can’t make this shit up, I mean, I thought we would have to go to these mayor’s houses and threaten to kill their dog, but they are just simping for us. I mean they are still going to be put through the guillotine, but hey, whatever works for us you know? It makes our jobs a lot easier. Next pictures boys.”
Then the pair of oranges proceeded to move to the next topic, where it showed hooded oranges that appeared to be burning down buildings, punching others, and yelling like animals.
Donny then elaborated on this with, “As you can here… we just started some riots. I know, it’s kind of lazy and all but hey, good ol’ fashioned chaos didn’t hurt anyone… except everypony who resisted and got in the way, they are all dead. And yeah, it’s just the ponies; we didn’t get the whole riot thing going in other areas. Except for the Zebras though, they seemed to like it a little bit. But then they started to get smart and kick us out.
‘Hell, they even started to cut some of our younglings and scar them for life, those fucking bastards. But yeah… uhhh… riots. Honestly I don’t have much to say here other than it does something I guess. I mean it seemed great at first, send a message in fire and flame, telling others the oranges are here. But it started to get kind of old and boring, some even caught on and when they saw us on sight they just kicked our asses and… honestly I don’t know what marketing was thinking. But we needed something so I guess its good enough.”
So Donny then paused for a moment while Happy Apple was just sitting there patiently for him to continue, with him giving off a face of confusion, yet of okness as well.
Soon Donny spoke up and then said to him, “Yeah, maybe I should have started off with the weaker stuff first and ended with the guillotines last. But it’s too late now so just bare with me.” And so after an awkward pause, Donny then silently nodded to the pair of oranges who then put the next pictures on the screen, while me and Happy Apple just remained silent about it all. The next pictures on screen were pictures of a graph and an outline. It read, ‘Step 1: Cause chaos. Step 2: Claim to be the victim. Step 3: Have every creature simp for us. Step 4: Cause Race War by having the biggest loser start a mass shooting at a big box market. Step 5: ??? Step 6: Profit.’
Donny then explained, “Yeah… about this one… uhhh… I don’t really know. I wasn’t there for that meeting when we were coming up with this plan in particular. I think I was out sick that day, caught a really bad case of the flu, you know? It was just a bad case of the flu is all, nothing to worry about. Although I did have to wear a mask and stand six feet apart from the other oranges so they didn’t get sick.
‘Although I did wanted to get grandma sick, she was a bitch and was asking for it too. I think I got it from that bat I ate earlier that day. It was delicious, yet I regret every second of it. I’d like to think the bat was a secret government agent that tried to kill me. Anyways, uhhh… I guess the plan here is to start a race war I don’t think we have done this yet, but we’re going to. And it’ll be… something… Ok next slide guys, this is starting to get embarrassing.”
The pair of oranges then changed the pictures to trans fruits and yes… fruits that were turning into fruits.
Donny then said, as Happy Apple continued to watch on without a word, “And here we have… uhhh… TRANS FRUITS! HA HA HA HA HA! The idea behind this is… uhhh… is to… uhhhhhh… uhhhhhh… give me a moment for me to remember here.”
Donny then turned around to look at the screen exclusively and questioned himself.
He was telling himself, “What the fuck was this part again? Trans fruits, was I fucking drunk when I made this shit? I bet this was Sciffy’s doing… and if it isn’t I’ll beat shit out of him anyways.”
Donny then turned back around to Happy Apple’s attention and then said to him, “Uhhh… yeah, I don’t know about this one. I think it had something to do with making the population weak and influence the other fruits to be trans fruits and uhhh… to take over the other fruits easily. I did not think this one through. Ok, next slide!”
And the next and final picture was their simple one, an orange holding a fist in the air holding a sickle.
It was weird looking, but Donny then said, “Well in conclusion, our ultimate goal here is to execute the New Orange Order! There, we will rule the world, and every year will be 1984! All those who oppose us will be killed or attempted to be re educated in the glory of the name of the oranges! For the oranges ARE THE MASTER RACE! ALL SHALL BOW BEANTH US! WE WILL BE THE RULERS, WE WILL BE IN CONTROL! WE WILL BE THE ONES IN POWER! WE WILL BE IN POWER FOR THE SAKE OF POWER! FOR THE SAKE TO CONTORL OTHERS AND TO BE THE BOSS! AND ALL THE FUCKING GRAPES SHALL BE GASSED! GASS THE GRAPES GAS THE GRAPES GAS THE GRAPES!”
And then Donny’s long, evil monologue was done.
And so after that, Happy Apple then asked Donny, “Soooo… are you done yet?”
Donny then said calmly, “Yeah.”
Happy Apple then said with an ok and sort of awkward face on, who seemed to have been embarrassed from just watching Donny’s little presentation, “Yeah I don’t know what to say about that other than it just seems that you guys are really incompetent. I mean it first sounded serious and that you were an actual threat. But then it seems like you trailed off from your original purpose and made it look like you have no idea what you’re actually doing. And then somehow you just came back around to calling it to be your great, master plan. I mean honestly this whole New Orange Order thing just seems to be a wet dream of yours that you’re trying to create that will never work.”
Donny then said, “Oh I contrary though, because I didn’t show the last of my power slide presentation.”
Happy Apple was confused and then asked, “What do you mean?”
Donny then said, “Oh, you’re going to hate me after this. Show him the film boys!”
The pair of oranges then proceeded to show a film on the projection screen. And the film was a whole town that was lit on fire with the sky being the colors of hell. And in the middle of the chaos and destruction of this town was a pancake pimp and pancake hoe, on their knees, beaten to a bloody pulp. They’re noses were bleeding and with both of them having black eyes, with both having the look of misery shadow across their faces. And behind them were oranges wearing black hibjabs, both holding swords and to their necks.
And there was some weird Arabic music playing in the background as the pancake pimp was then pleading in front of the film, “Please! These oranges, they are monsters! We were just minding our own business and then they started attacking! Please, we don’t want to die! I’m just a pancake pimp trying to get my pancake hoes to suck some pancake dick man! This shit ain’t right man! MAAAAAAANNNN!”
And then the Oranges who were holding them hostage spoke some sand nigger language and proceeded to swiftly behead the pancake pimp and hoes. I don’t speak the san nigger language so I have no clue what the oranges were saying. But my guess they were saying that they were going to kill the infidels next and blow up seventy two virgins in heaven or some shit like that I guess.
Anyways, the film then ended and Happy Apple was in complete and utter shocked. He was horrified, terrified to the bone, he was speech less as his mouth was left agape like an ape when he finds out he is out of bananas.
However, Happy Apple soon got out of his trance as he then yelled out in anguish, “YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO THE PNAKCAKES!?”
Donny then said to Happy Apple, “Oh but I just did. The pancake pimps and pancakes hoes are my bitches now, and they are under my control as of now. Sure the oranges in the film were possible OIA assets and the whole thing was marketed to start a new orange religion that was all about peace and tranquility, we failed in that department, but it gets the point across nonetheless.”
Happy Apple, who was trying to restrain himself as much as he could then said to Donny, “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!”
Donny then said, “Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah. I’m not getting away this, I am, and we’re going to kill many more, blah blah blah, can we just get to the fight already?”
Donny then swiftly and quickly threw the stick that he still had in his not visible arms aside to the woods. And once the stick thingy was thrown off to the side, a sound of a cat meowing really loudly could be heard as the stick hit something hard, like if it had came out of some kind of cartoon. In which case too shay I suppose. But I had thought maybe it could have been Putty Rat, but in the end it probably wasn't.
Happy Apple then said as loud as he could with all his anger and might in his voice, “CHAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGEEEE!”
And then the apples started to charge as they made weird little sounds like aliens as they charged forth to fight the oranges. And as for Donny, he didn’t say a word other than rushing forward with the gang of oranges following suit as they all rolled and ignored me. It had seemed that they had forgotten all about me and that I was free as a bird. However, I stayed a little bit longer to watch some of the fight play out.
And honestly it was funny yet weird. All that happened was that the oranges and apples were doing… something. It looked like they were fighting, but really they were just shoving each other around like a bunch of pansies. And as for Donny and Happy Apple, it looked like they were the only ones putting effort into it the most. Even though they didn’t have arms, hands, legs, or feet, it looked like they were attempting to do some kind of kung fu as they fought each other as they were really putting their all into it.
It was a beautiful war between oranges and apples one could say, as it determined the fate of the world. And all I did was stand up on all four of my pony legs and say in my mind, ‘Wow, this shit really seems fucking stupid. Oranges taking over the world? Those guys are weak as shit, I can just stomp on them if I wanted to.
Oh well, I guess this is my sign to skadoodle on out of here.’
And so I then slowly turned around, with wide eyes and all, and slowly tried to move out of their little war, hoping they didn’t notice me leaving and remembered me, as I tip toed out of there And as I turned around, I was back in the direction of where I was going originally.
But as I turned around, to my surprise, there was Bob the Bush. He was sort of still on the side of the tracks, but was out of the war that was going on. I then stopped before I moved another inch more, as I raised my eyebrows in confusion.
I then said out loud, sort of to myself, but no really, “Bob? Uhhhhh… you know what, I’m not going to ask. If you are alive, then… bye I guess. Nice meeting you and hope I never see you again.”
And then I walked off into the distance as I continued on my journey alongside the train tracks. And as I was doing so, I couldn’t help but get this weird feeling in the back of my head that Bob the Bush was moving on its own and was sort of sentient.
But I never looked back as I heard the cries for battle as they waged on. But as I got further and further away, the sounds of war only became a distant cry into the distance, forever more fading away as I moved on. Now you’d think that would be the end of the weirdness there, but a little bit more happened as I went on my way. Trust me, the train tracks were no joke. And being out in the middle of nowhere didn’t help out at all.
Anyways, I continued on my journey and was far, far from the apples and oranges. And the night was still young oddly enough despite how long that took for me. I continued on my journey and soon I was out of the woods, literally. There were no longer woods surrounding me. It was just endless plains of dark, probably unfertile soil and snow.
The snow was further out as the soil was untouched near the track. But the further you got out, it then started to fill with snow. Some of it being untouched, some of it looked like it had been shoveled a few days ago. And on both side of me were endless fields that seemed to go on and on forever and ever.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should have gone off the beaten path and went in one of those directions. But I was sure if I had kept going, I would have found some train running along the tracks where I could illegally hitch a ride or find someone that could help me out. But the more I went on, the more it had seemed like there was nothing. It was like walking in the apocalypse, waiting to see someone that was alive and well, yet finding nothing but an endless path that led to nothingness.
But I continued forwards and soon I spotted a little fork in the work, yeah, the tracks seemed to be a split with a little lever in the middle for it to change the tracks. And near that lever was a figure of a pony, which seemed to have been standing there, waiting for a train to come with no shelter or other commodities.
I had a little smile form across my face as my mind soon came to the conclusion pretty quickly that it must have been an employee that got the short end of the stick and was working all the way out here, having the honor of changing the tracks when needed. But that part didn’t bother me, as I was just glad I was able to find another, living pony who could possibly help me out.
Who knows, maybe that pony would have a schedule and could tell me when the next train was coming so I could hop a ride on and get going somewhere. So I started to rush without thinking and running forward.
And as I got closer and closer as I ran to the shadowy figure in the distance, I yelled out, “HEY! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME! I’M LOST AND I NEED HELP FINDING MY WAY BACK HOME! I’M NOT A THREAT BY THE WAY SO DON’T BE AFRAID! I JUST NEED HELP FINDING MY WAY BACK AND…”
I then slowly cut myself off as I faded out my sentences as I got close enough to discover who that shadowy pony figure was. And as it turns out that is wasn’t a pony, it was a human being… again… and my excitement turned into disappoint. My smile slowly went from having hope to then turning into a scared, yet disappointed frown across my face.
I then said as I got close enough to see the human being, “Oh for the love of god.”
The human in front of me was a male, had short hair, and had an evil looking grin on his face. He was wearing a collared shirt with some black slacks and a pair of nice black dress shoes.
He then looked at me, pointed at me with his right finger and said, “Yes, I have been waiting for you!”
I then put my confused face on and I then asked him, “What!? I don’t even know you!”
However, the human then said to me, “No, but I was waiting for someone to come over here so I can now unleash my final plan!”
He was talking in a high pitched, annoying tone of voice to me. That high pitched type of voice that sounds like it comes from an incompetent super villain. In fact, it almost sounded familiar for a moment there, but my mind didn’t pay too much attention to the sounds of his voice at the time.
My thought process was how the fuck was a human standing right before me? I mean seriously, there are rules you know? You can’t just go out and start breaking them. But to be fair there are some “exceptions” I guess you could say to the rules. But whatever, it didn’t matter. But to be fair, it was better for me being a pony compared to a human because at least it’s a disguise and other things I guess.
Honestly having a human body in this universe is weird when I think about it more, the proportion sizes and shit like that. Anyways, it was another human being, it was confusing and how baffling it was to me that there was another just like that.
And also, it was annoying me how I ended up catching a snag in the road once again, especially when my heart was beating somewhat fast and my mind wanting to turn off and not have to think about anything and just go to sleep. But whatever I suppose, it was what it was, and what it was was a guy near a lever that looked like he was ready to bomb Canada to prove to the world that he could bomb Canada despite us not even doubting him in the first that he couldn’t do so.
Well, while the guy looked insane, and also a weird choice of style, I just sat back down on my pony ass and then asked the guy, “What do you want now? Can’t I just catch a break and move on from this?”
I then started to close my eyes a little bit, you know like a half squint, while turning my head sideways a bit while saying to the guy, “Do you want something form me?”
I then returned to my normal head position. Yeah, trust me, pony bodies are very expressive in this universe, it’s great.
Anyways, I then said to the guy, “I mean what do you want? I’ll get it for you, even if it is fifty hundred miles away. I’ll promise I’ll get it for you if you just let me go and stop annoying me. I’ve had enough of this for one night.”
However, the guy just turned more crazier has his evil looking grin grew only more in size as the look in his eyes denied my request for a simple conversation.
However, he said while holding both of his hands firmly on the lever as he sort of had his back arched a little bit and gave me the evil stink eye a bit, “Oh I do want something from you! But it’s nothing that you can give to me in physical form!”
I then said to him while looking annoyed and tired, “Uuuuuuggggghhhhh, what do you want with me then? And don’t go off into your back story and talk about where you came from or your people or any of that crap. Just please, for the love of all that is holy, please just get to the point! And maybe I can die happy that way if it ever comes to it!”
I had all of that while flailing my pony arms around and having my eyes wide open while giving very expressional facial features to the guy at the same time. And towards the end I just ended up pointing at him with an angry expression upon my brow, trying to get my point across a little bit towards him.
And after I had said that, he then said to me, with still the evil looking, crazy grin across his big ugly mug, “Oh but I intend to get to the point! In fact, you will only have ten minutes to make a decision.”
I then calmed down a bit and had a confused look on my face while turning my head a bit and asked the stranger, “You want me to do what now?”
The guy then explained to me while removing one of his hands to show a little bit of expression on his end and he said to me, “It’s simple, you have to make a decision. What I want from you is to do a test!”
I then said, keeping my head in the same position, while squinting a little bit, “A test?”
The crazy then said to me, “Yes, that’s right, a test! But it won’t be easy!”
I then put my head back the way it was supposed to be, but my eyes were still squinted in annoyance as I gave a little sigh and then said to him, “Fine, just hurry it up and explain it to me.”
The crazy guy didn’t seem too upset that I wanted to move things along. So he continued without issue and said to me, “This test will not be an easy one. In fact, it will be the hardest test that you will ever have to perform in your entire life! This test will test your morals and values and will question who you are! By the time that you are done with this test and you will go home and lay down in your bed; you will ponder to yourself if you made the right decision.
‘You won’t be able to sleep at night, let along look at yourself in the mirror everyday because you won’t be able to stand yourself. In if it really gets to your mind and your guilt weighs heavy on you, then you will end up putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger because you couldn’t live with the decision that you will have to make today! The choice is not easy, and no one ever picks the right answer! No one I tell you! NO ONE!”
I then said, “Just get on with it already! While we’re young, please!”
The crazy guy didn’t care. So he went on with his little test and he then pointed with his free hand to the left to an old guy, who was also human in a brown suit, and hat and tie with old grey hair and fragile skins and all. And yes, I didn’t notice him, I only noticed the crazy guy and that was it until he pointed it out to me.
The crazy guy then said to me, “The test is simple. There is a train that is now seven minutes away. There are only two tracks the train can go too, and too helpless souls that are trapped and are in need of saving. But wait, you cannot save both! You can only save the one life, while the other dies. So the test is which life do you think is valued more? On the left track, we have a very old man who only has at least a year or two left on him. However, if you save him, he will give you one hundred trillion dollars and let you live in his big, giant, huge mansion!”
The old guy quickly spoke up in an old guy voice, “It’s true, I will!”
And then he never spoke up again. And so the crazy guy then pointed with his free hand over towards the right track. The right track had a little boy all tied up. Once again he was human, he was wearing a light green t shirt, short brown hair and shit like that, but he did give off an evil vibe just by looking at him.
So the crazy guy then said to me, “But if you let the old man live, then this little boy that is seven years old will have to die. And his spirit will haunt you for the rest of your living days as a poltergeist! But, you can play hide and seek with him in the mansion that you get from the old man! But don’t be fooled!
‘If you let the little boy live, the little boy will just get up, stab you to death, and go on a killing spree, for this boy who has been possessed by an evil demon since age three since his parents were half Christens. So that means you would be letting a killer on the loose that cannot be stopped and you’ll be DEAD! And if you let the old man die, then you just don’t get all of his fancy shit. So, what’s it going to be then mister? The train will be arriving in five minutes, so make your decision now, or I’ll make it for you!”
It then got quiet between the both of us for a few seconds as some wind passed us by. And the seconds on the clock was ticking to me making a decision that will take one life and let the other live. I sat there on my pony ass, making a sort of derp face while in my mind, I was trying to process everything.
It wasn’t interesting, so I then spoke up and I then asked the crazy guy, “So what’s stopping me from going over there, kicking your ass, and freeing both?”
The crazy guy then seemed a bit upset by that statement as he then said to me, “What!? No, I told you that you have to make a decision! You can’t do that! That’s against the rules!”
I then said to him calmly with a calm face, “Yeah but I still have five minutes. That’s enough time for me to go over there and kick your ass and save both with time to spare.”
The crazy guy, who didn’t seem too happy with my reply then said to me, “No no no! You can’t do that. This is supposed to be a test that tests your morals here! Uhhh… you can’t do it because… because it’ll take too long to cut the rope that is tying them up!”
I then said to him, “Ok then, I’ll just move them off the tracks then. It ain’t that hard.”
The crazy guy seemed to be frustrated with that response, so he had then said to me, “Well… well… NOT IF I KICK YOUR ASS FIRST!”
I then said to him while relaxing my eyelids a bit, “Bitch, I am a unicorn that also has a gun... somewhere… I think. I can at the very least buck the fuck out of you until you’re dead within a few seconds.”
The crazy guy then said to me, “This isn’t hard! JUST MAKE A DESCION! YOU CAN’T DO IT OK!?”
I then gave a little sigh and gave into his demands.
So I then had said to him, “Alright, alright then. Jesus, you don’t have to be like that way to me. So let me think, the old man, evil kid… hmmm.”
His evil smile returned as he then realized I was playing along with his game, as my eyes rolled back a bit, trying to think of an appropriate answer for him.
After a least a few seconds, I then looked back at him with a dead expression on my face as I then said to him, “Alright then I chose to let them both die.”
The crazy guy went back to being pissed as he then said, “WHAT!? You can’t do that, you have to make a choice here! I mean who says let them both die?! The train only goes one way! What kind of person are you!?”
I then said to him, “Well you can just move the other one to the other track, it’s simple. And it’s because I don’t care about them. I’ve never met them in my life and right now, I couldn’t care less right now. And knowing that I’m out in the middle of nowhere, I know whatever I do it’ll just backfire on to me somehow. So really I don’t care what happens to them.”
The crazy guy was pissed by this, so he then yelled out to me, while flailing both of his arms around, “JUST MAKE ANOTHER DECSION!”
I then said, “Fine, I guess I will. Uuummmm… I guess I choose to derail the train I guess.”
The crazy guy then said to me, “THIS ISN’T A FUCKING D AND D GAME YOU FUCKING RETARD! THIS IS A TEST ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH! WHAT POINT OF THAT DO YOU NOT GET!?”
I then asked the crazy guy, “Well let me ask you something. Why the fucking are you even here out in the middle of nowhere, making this unnecessary, complicated test on some random strangers?”
The crazy guy then said to me, “I was a sociology major in college! I am simply proving a point to society!”
I then said to him, “Oh I get it, you got a sociology degree in college, and once you got out of there, you couldn’t find a job even at a McDonalds, so you cried and pissed yourself in your dead grandma’s basement until you got kicked out because you’re a low life loser, got it!”
The crazy guy then said to me, “That’s not true!”
I then said to him, “But it is though, it’s written all across your face.”
The crazy guy then yelled out as he stomped on the ground like a child and had a really angry look on his face, “THIS ISN’T HOW THIS TEST IS SUPPOSED TO BE GOD DAMN IT!”
And then he stopped and his eyes shot wide open as a look fear ran across his face.
He then said to sort of to himself, “Oh no… the time is up. You didn’t make a decision. THIS IS THE END!”
I then said, “What?”
The crazy guy however continued to ramble on, “DON’T YOU GET IT! IT’S COMING FOR ME BECAUSE I DIDN’T PLEASE IT!”
And then a slight sound of familiar music could be heard from the distance as it got closer and closer.
The crazy guy then had the look of death on his face, as it was near him. He then looked towards way down the tracks and stood there, frozen stiff like a statue. His skin started to turn pale white as if he had just seen a ghost… in a wheelchair.
The crazy guy then said to me, “Oh no… he’s getting closer!”
I then said, “What are you talking about,” while keeping the same expression throughout this entire thing because I didn’t care up until that point.
The crazy guy however then turned around quickly to me and jumped around while being on the tracks, pointing down the far end of it and said to me, “Can’t you hear it! It’s coming for me! We are all doomed!”
I then said to him, as the song of Thomas the Tank Engine did get closer and closer enough for me to identify it in my head, but not close enough to give a flying fuck, “I swear if this is the oranges again, I’m out of here.”
The crazy guy then just seemed to have ignored my statement as he then turned around and saw what was coming from the distance. And yes, it was Thomas the Tank engine, as he was not riding the tracks like a normal train. He just had a smiling, happy face on, not speaking, and just bouncing up and down as he came closer and closer.
And as for the crazy guy, he just pointed at the train with his right hand, and screamed bloody murder, “HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAAA!”
And as the train was near him, Thomas just sort of lightly touched the crazy guy, sort of picking him up without physical hands, and then flying straight up vertically and into space, no I’m not joking, that happened. He was never seen again. And all I did was watch as this all unfolded before my very eyes.
My expression didn’t change though, I just couldn’t care enough that it was happening. And after the two went up into the heavens of the night, I then looked down back at the two hostages that were tied on the two train tracks, and they exploded. Well it was like a mini explosion that was self contained and didn’t do any harm to me, but they exploded.
And after that occurred, I then looked forward with an expressionless face on and said to myself, “Ok then. Moving on.”
And so I then continued to march forward across the train tracks. And the only thing that I have to add to the random Thomas the Tank engine encounter is that it wouldn’t have surprised me even if it was Thomas the Tank Engine from the 1940’s, who would pick up runaway Jews escaping from the Nazis, who would then promise to take them far away from Germany, but then just end up taking them to Auschwitz because Thomas wants all the sheckles to himself. Eyup… Anyways, moving on.
So I ended up walking, it was the same thing as before, just no fork in the road or crazy guy. However I did feel a certain feeling in the deep parts of my bowls. And I was starting to feel it too. It was bothersome to me and I started to feel like I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
But to my surprise, as I was walking and keeping my head down, trying to concentrate on not shitting myself whole making that scrounged up face, I came across a random, generic looking out house that was near the train tracks. At first my mind registered it as a sign from god as I had a little smile on my face.
But then I quickly remembered from the last encounter and I then just to myself, “Just keep moving, don’t look at it and nothing else will happen. Just don’t pay any attention to the random out house in the middle of nowhere the train tracks and…”
And then I was cut off. And also, I said this while slowly walking past the outhouse, trying not to disturb its contents inside of it. However I had spoken too soon as what cut me off was two hill billy pony hicks coming out, busting through the outhouse door, doing a jig. They both had that stereotypical hill billy hick looks to them with the missing teeth and messy clothing on. And while they were doing a jig outside of the outhouse, some random music started to play like it was god who was playing it or some shit like that.
And I then had a worried look on my face as I said, “Oh god, please not now! Please for the god not now!”
I had to take a shit and a random music event started. The two hill billy hick ponies started to sing, the both of them, who looked like brothers oddly enough. And the background music that was playing was mountain, hillbilly music with the banjo and jugs playing like a very rough country song:
Hooky Dooky Aids!
We’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids
We aren’t gonna get laid!
Oh ho down girl, a ho down girl,
We ain’t seen nothing yet!
We got something to tell you,
It’s what we all did last night!
Oh you’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids
You’ve Hooky Dooky aids
We’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids
We’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids
Well I’ll tell you what the Hooky Dooky aids
It’s easy as one, two, three
It’s something that you,
When you’re boning us!
Once your body gets it,
It’s not at all that bad!
Your body will just move to the beat,
So just give in and let it move ya!
Oh you’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids,
You’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids!
Oh we’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids,
We’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids!
Well if you don’t like it,
Then you can eat my ass!
And if you tell the authorizes about this,
We will just have to kill you!
When we will kill ya,
No one will hear you scream!
And don’t fret about it,
No one will find your body!
Oh you’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids,
You’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids!
Oh we’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids,
We’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids!
And that was the end of the song as they finished in a final, gay ass pose and they then exploded.
And then the outhouse exploded too, and then suddenly my face of worry of having to shit myself disappeared as I then said to myself, “Huh… suddenly I don’t have to go to the bathroom any more. I guess that did something useful for once.”
And that was the end of that little snug in the rug, I was then off. So I continued to walk and walk, sort of hanging my head low and looking miserable. I mean I was just walking and yet, I found no signs of civilization anywhere, it was terrible. It was still night time of course and I just wanted to be in a nice warm bed, take a nice hot shower and just feel good for once. But hey, I just had to go with TK and find out more about that ghost guy that came to my home, asking for help. I didn’t know what I was doing.
I was down in the dumps, I was lost, and I had no direction, no guidance. It had looked like I was doomed and should have just ended it all there. But then I looked up and saw a magical, floating colored cube in front of me.
My eyes were wide open as I then said with a bit of worry, “Hello?”
The cube then spoke and then asked me, “What’s your problem there bud?”
I then asked the cube, “Excuse me?”
The cube then said to me, “I said what’s your problem there buddy! What? You’re looking for a fight! Cause I’ll fight you! I’ll kick your ass! Come on, you want to go a round! Come on, ah, yea… yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!”
He wasn’t doing anything because he was just a cube.
I just had a look of confusion on my face as I then asked him, “What are you?”
The cube then said to me, “Oh excuse me, I forgot my manners. I’m the Time Cube.”
I then said to him, “Riiiiiiight. Well I best be leaving then Time Cube… whatever you are,”
I was then about to walk away, but Time Cube stopped me as he then said, “Wait where you going? Are you leaving this soon, the party is just getting started!”
I then had a despicable look and I said to him, “There is no party. I’m leaving.”
However, the Time Cube then said to me, “Well if you leave now, I’m not going to tell you what you need to know how to get back home.”
I then was a little bit surprised by this, but my look was only of suspicion, but I gave in.
So I asked Time Cube, “How do you know I needed to go back home?”
The Time Cube then said to me, “Well I’m the Time Cube bro. I know everything.”
I then said to it, “You do, don’t you? What are you exactly?”
The Time Cube then said to me, “I just said it bro. I’m the Time Cube. I’m a cube that knows everything that there is to know about the universe. I have the answer to everything then you could ever imagine. So go on, ask me something. What, are you too chicken to ask me!? Bac bac bac bac.”
The Time cube was trying to make chicken sounds to me, but it sounded like he was failing to do so.
I then asked him, “Ok then, uhhh… What’s the meaning of life then?”
The time Cube then said to me, “Chicken butt.”
I then said, “What?”
The Time Cube then said to me, “HA! I got you, that was a good one huh?”
I then said to it, “I think you did it backwards.”
The time cube then said to me, “I did something wrong? Well your mother did something wrong… when I did her last night! Oh yeah, up top!”
I then said to him, “You don’t have hands.”
The Time Cube then said to me, “Hey, don’t be racist against cripples.”
I then said to him, “First off you’re a cube. Second, that’s not a race.”
The Time Cube then said to me, “Oh, so you’re Mr. Big Shot now huh? You think you can show me up and know everything there is to know about in the universe huh?”
I then said to him, “I didn’t say anything”
The Time Cube then said to me, “Well go on then big guy! Show me what you’ve got, PUT EM’ UP AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
I then asked the Time Cube, “Is this conversation going anywhere?”
The Time Cube then said to me, “Guess What? Chicken Butt,”
And then The Time Cube had a self contained explosion and he was gone. Sad to say he returned at some point, but he was out of my face for that moment. And so, I just stayed quiet to myself and just kept moving on. I kept moving and moving, and once again my head was hanging low, I was down in the dumps, and I was tired with it all. I had just wanted it to all end.
And then as I was walking, minding my own business, moving along the train tracks, a voice appeared behind me as it then said, “Psst… Knight… Vote Jesus 2020.”
My eyes lit up as I knew what voice that was. I had thought it was just Regular Jesus, but then I slowly turned around to discover that is was more than just him. It was everyone that I had met alongside the train tracks that night, all in a big group standing before me, looking at me.
It was Regular Jesus, Baby Jesus, the Universal Pirates and their floating pirate ship, the two samurai, somehow… the Time Cube, the two hillbillies, Happy Apple and the apples, Orange and the Orange Gang Mafia, Ghost in his wheelchair, the young me, the teenage me, the wise me, and the early 20’s me were all looking at me. Although sad to say there was no Putty Rat, which only makes me sad the more that I think about it, but oh well. But thankfully there was no Black either so that was good at least. Anyways I was just speechless, I couldn’t say a word. What was bothering me the entire night was just standing there, all in a group, almost as if they were all in on it to begin with, even though that wasn’t true.
And as soon as I laid eyes on everyone, everyone in unison, “Hey Knight! How’s it going!?”
And Baby Jesus then spoke up and said to me, “Howdy Knight, how have you been!? It’s sure has been a while!”
I then asked Baby Jesus as my eyes remained wide as they could be in pure shock as my mind was confused yet worried with what I was seeing, “What hell is this that I’m looking at right now?”
Baby Jesus then said to me, “Well I wouldn’t use the word Hell, it’s kind of cursed. But hell I use it all the damn time, ESPECIALLY WHEN REGULAR JESUS HERE HOGS THE DAMN TV!”
Regular Jesus said to Baby Jesus, “Well I need to watch my everyday marathon of Gilligan’s Island, what’s your excuse?”
I then asked one more time to Baby Jesus, “Why are you all here?”
Baby Jesus then looked back at me and he then said, “Oh uhhh… I really don’t know about these guys. But I was wondering if you wanted a copy of the bible, you know, for old time shake… and maybe give some bibles to your friends, so you know, we can do business together and such? But I think these guys just wants to say hi to you or something, right guys?”
Baby Jesus turned around with a warm smile and looked at everyone else, and everyone in the group said in unison, even Ghost, “Hi Knight!”
I then started to get the sense of getting the fuck out of there.
So I then said as I gradually backed the back up, “Get away from me. You all get away from me now! YOU ALL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!”
And at that moment, I did a one eighty and ran like hell, and they didn’t follow me.
Instead, Baby Jesus had said to himself with a look of confusion, “What’s his problem?”
as everyone in the group looked confused too. All except for Ghost who just rolled forward in his wheelchair, watching as I was running off into the distance, almost as if he had something to say to me, but he was too late to say it and was regretting it.
Yet he gave off that look as if he was planning to see me one day to tell me what that thing was. And as for me, I ran off into the night, just seeing more and more train tracks, as Luna’s moon lit my path to what would then be my way back to Stalia. I just had to do a little job first…
"To Be Continued in Episode 23-3, for realzies this time, I swear…" ~ Bob Tom
What’s that on my chin? What is that? I can feel it, yet I don’t know what it is… huh… or shit that’s right.
Ok, where were we? Ah right, the short adventures that we have all had, throughout our tormented lives here in Stalia. It’s not really torment it’s just a weird pain in the ass to deal with you know?
Especially in the short terms like the Corona who seem to have come and go and drag us into whatever. Not into like one big adventure, just periodically, it was a weird thing that happened. And how it all ends… well I guess we’ll just have to get there together as friends… or a family.
I’m kidnapping you all, and you can’t do anything about it. Alright then, let’s continue our little journey with the Corona. So last time we left off, the Corona was launched high into the sky for some weird fucking reason and Arrell made a fool of himself. As for the Corona and his two daughters they were flying into the air, without a care.
Ebola Chan and Corona Chan were holding on to the Corona’s spikes that were pointing outward with both hands, almost as if they were like hugging him or something. They were holding on to their father with a firm grip and were sort of like on the sides of him, not fully, kind of like diagonally, like half on top and half on the side so both of the daughters could fit on to the Corona’s back… or is it top?
I don’t know but just imagine the two daughters hanging off of an oversized, wise cracking magical sphere that glowed whenever it talked. They were soaring like eagles, with the two daughters having smiles upon their faces as they have grown to accept who their father was.
And I’m sure if there was an expression that you could see, the Corona would be smiling too. They were soaring fast past by clouds and birds and so many other wonders that happen to fly through the air. Like Hitler or the souls of those that were in the World Trade Center, boy are they flying still. I mean they didn’t jump out of the building, they just told themselves they could fly before they jumped… but then they jumped and was then disappointed like a kid on Christmas who wanted a game console, but instead got a sock filled with broken dreams and his dad’s seed.
You know, the kind you plant outside and a tree filled with oranges grow, but really you wanted a tree filled with apples to grow so you can be just like Applejack, so you go and chop it down, but then Florida just comes in and fuck you right in the ass. I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Anyways, the trio was riding high in the sky and by this point, far away from Stalia. That see saw, I tell you, that was one powerful fucking see saw. But whatever, who cares if Stalia is the home to Equestria’s most powerful see saw and anyone that gets on it is bound to die and so all of the deaths have been covered up, the important point here is that the three were flying without a worry in their mind.
And they were all quiet with smiles on their faces… until Ebola Chan finally spoke up, still with a warm smile on her face and still hope for her father to one day accomplish his dreams, said to her father, “So dad, so what happens next?”
Corona then said to his daughter Ebola Chan, “What are you talking about, I thought this was your plan?”
And then that smile that Ebola Chan had slowly disappeared into one of horror as she then started to realize the reality of their situation. They were flying fast through the clouds at high speed with no way safely down and could possibly die in some unknown land. And the best part, no one will hear them scream as they land like a pancake on the ground as they die, and no one from their world will ever know.
Not the FBI, CIA, The China CIA, the Mexicans, nobody will know. And through her mind, she started to wonder what her mother will think once her and her sister is considered to be lost, and what will her friends think of back in school. She won’t be able to see them again; she’s fucked, just like life and living in a society. Society… we live in a society…. Ha… you get it? I think you do, but I don’t think you do.
Anyways, Ebola Chan was horrified by the idea that they were all going to die without seeing any other loved one ever again and that soon, as Ebola Chan then asked her father in a very hasty and worried tone, “WHAT! THIS WASN’T MY IDEA! THIS WAS YOUR IDEA DAD!”
And then Corona Chan then said out loud, still a with a heavy Asian like smile on her face, “私はこれが空に住んでいる偉大な白いひげを生やした男の計画だと思った！ イェーイ！ 私はイエスに会うつもりです！ 死のために万歳！”
And then Corona then said to Corona Chan, “Yeah that’s the spirit honey! We’ll get out of this, just as soon as your sister comes up with an idea to get us out of this mess that she got us into.”
Ebola Chan, starting to get annoyed by her father, “This was your idea though dad! You’re the one who had us get on that stupid thing!”
The Corona then started to think about it in silence as the three were hurdling at the speeds that probably should have killed them or harmed them in some way by now.
And as he was thinking for a few seconds, he then said to Ebola Chan, “Yeah, you’re probably right. I probably had like a few cold ones last night; maybe I did say something about this. Maybe we should turn back around and ask for directions. Yup, your old man here isn’t afraid to ask for directions… I’m incompetent. And I embrace it.”
Of course the question here is... is he really a man? Perhaps the Corona was a man stuck in a Corona’s body. Perhaps the Corona just needed some surgery and become a trans human or something. Come on now, we all gotta be progressive here and admit that big giant diseases can be human too as they are nothing but a joke too you know.
Anyways, Ebola Chan then yelled at her father, started to become angered by the second as they continued to be in the air, “DAD, THIS IS SERIOUS, STOP JOKING AROUND AND DO SOMETHING! OR WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!”
The Corona then finally admitted to his faults and then said, “Alright Alright Alright! I get your point. I just… I just don’t know what to do right now. I didn’t think I’d get this far.”
Ebola Chan then asked her father, “You’re telling me you did this without thinking it over!?”
The Corona then said, “Sweetie, I’m the Corona, I don’t think things, I do things. That’s how my father did it. That’s how my grandfather did it. That’s how his father did it. And his father I think just drank a lot of lead and became the Lead Virus or something. But that’s how we get things done and I will be damned if I think things through for once. God damn it!”
Corona Chan then spoke up, with a little worried look upon her face as she then said with a scared look and tone, “無駄に主の名前を言うなパパ！ そうでなければ、飛んで糸のモンスターはパパとして知られている処女の楽園に私たちをさせません！ 私は面白いダンスの薬のすべてを取る飛んでいるものに会いたいです！”
And then the Corona then said to Corona Chan, “That’s nice sweetie, daddy is proud that you got an A in linguistics, but right now daddy is trying to do something that’ll get us out of here.”
And then the Corona started to think and tried to think of a way out of this mess that he had put himself through. And as he tried to think and think, he just couldn’t come up with anything to save him and his two daughters. And as he was trying to concentrate while hurdling through so many feet of air you got to question why they haven’t crashed yet… hmmmm… maybe the Asians do know how to fly… hmmm, note to self, capture Asian and force him to tell you how to fly. Ok, never mind that, you don’t know anything.
As the Corona was thinking, he was muttering to himself, under his breath despite his daughters being near him and being able to hear him, “Hmmm. Now let’s see, maybe I can. No, that won’t do. Maybe we can, no, that would require me to have a pair of wings. Maybe I can, no, I don’t have that paid off or have the illegal’s to do that.”
And then after a few seconds more of silence and his daughters waiting in anticipation, wanting to know what their father’s solution to this situation was, the Corona then said out loud to them both, “I GOT IT!”
Ebola Chan then had a smile of hope and wonder form on her face very quickly as she looked towards her father and wondered and asked him, “So, what’s the plan then dad?”
The Corona paused for a few seconds as a few seconds of silence was in between then, and after seconds more had passed, the Corona then finally spoke up and said to both of his daughters in such a cheerful and whimsical tone, “WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIIIIIIEEEEE!!!”
And then they all started to scream in unison with a face of terror and inevitable death upon their faces and brows. Well except for Corona Chan, she had a smile of happiness and delight… probably some weird Asian thing going on there. And as the three were screaming in terror, knowing they were going to die, they finally started to lose traction in the air and was about to fall on to the ground and die a pretty lame way I must say.
Seriously, if you were going to die, at least go out in style. Falling down is just a lame way to go, just like the people who wanted to fly by jumping from the World Trade Centers. But let’s be honest here, they wanted to create 9/11 2 and god said no so he didn’t give them the ability to fly… and that’s why they fell… to their deaths. But at least they tried, unlike these fuckers over here. Anyways, as they were quickly descending to the ground, a weird portal thingy opened up right before them, probably a glitch you could say, wide open and right in their direction.
And it happened all so fast that they didn’t have the time to process it all in their minds. And as they went through the portal, they ended up back in the Corona’s shitty apartment back on Earth, just how they started to begin with. And as they landed back into the apartment, they rolled out on to the hard shitty, cum stained wooden floor, as their butts and back hit against a wall. All the mean while, the portal that had appeared to save them from out of nowhere then suddenly disappeared. Who knows, maybe it was an act of god… or not.
And as the three landed, safely, with some minor bruises of course, the Corona then said out loud, “Oh wow, what a very nice little coincidence that the portal that opened up brought us back into our home. Unless… this isn’t our home!”
The two daughters were still on the floor as the Corona had gotten up and was slightly levitating off the floor as usual, with Corona Chan being face down and a little hurt while Ebola Chan was on her back with her legs up against the wall. They both were moaning in pain a bit with Corona Chan rubbing her head and Ebola Chan trying to get up.
They did so without too much of a struggle and as Ebola, who had a bit of a worried, but glum look on her face, she said to the Corona, “Of course we’re back dad. This is our apartment.”
The Corona then asked her daughter Ebola Chan, “Are you sure about that sweetie. Cause Daddy thinks we have entered… AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION THAT SUSPICIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE OUR APARTMENT, BUT REALLY IT’S PART OF A COMPUTER SIMULATION TO TRY AND TRICK US AND GET OUR BLOOD!”
He had said that with a bit of an echoing tone, like it was some massive reveal or something, like something big and shocking. But the effect was weird… and questionable. Not sure how a living Corona ball can do that, let alone have blood. Wait, did he have blood? I guess he might have.
Anyways, after the Corona’s responded, Ebola Chan then said to her father, “Of course it is dad!”
She had said it with a ticked off look in her eyes, annoyed by her father’s recklessness and poor decision making that could have gotten them all killed.
The Corona then said, “Yeah, you’re probably right, but I swear to you sweetie, you will not regret the day I bought that lizard people readiness kit from that shady guy who usually offers some weird white powder over by the freeway that day. Sure, it was your college fund, but it was all to protect you from the lizard people.”
Ebola Chan started to become flustered and frustrated as she started to move her arms in a flaring like way as she remained even more upset towards her father.
She had then said to the Corona, “You… you… you…”
She then let out a loud sort of sigh like response, a moan and grown out of frustration, finding it difficult to find the right words to be used towards her father to describe the anger that she had towards him. And with her frustration, she stomped off towards the living room and back to her bed in the living area in anger and sat down on the mattress with her arms folded near her chest and not looking at her father.
The Corona, confused as to what was going on, then followed her daughter there shortly after, with Corona Chan following suite with a worried look as she started to mess with her fingers playing and putting both index fingers and pointing at each other… or whatever that’s called. Look, when you’re in pony land here and don’t spend time with hands too much, you forget the terms too, so lay off… because I know ya. I see ya. I know what you did… you dirty son of a bitch. Anyways, she was doing it because she was a little nervous as to what was going on.
As the Corona and Corona Chan went into the living room, the Corona then asked Ebola Chan, “What’s the matter sweetie? Is it the whole lizard people thing? Look I know it was your college fund and stuff. But you got to look at the long term here, it’s always good to prepare for the worst, and hope for the worst, cause that lizard people readiness kit wasn’t cheap you know.”
Ebola Chan just didn’t look at her father anymore, she looked towards the dirty, grime filled, and filthy wall as it looked a lot more appealing to her than to look at her own father. She was giving him the silent treatment for a bit. The Corona however, took the silence as a response, despite the angered look still upon her face.
So the Corona then said, “Oooohhhhh I get it. My little baby girl is still afraid of the lizard people.”
The Corona then got close to Ebola Chan and continued the conversation the father and daughter were having.
The Corona then said to her, “Look, if you’re still afraid of the lizard people coming out of your closet, it’s alright. Daddy understands your fear. But don’t worry, once your daddy here takes over the world, I’ll make sure to put all of the lizard people into the back of the ovens. Trust me, I did my research and in order to kill the lizard people, you need to kill them from where they once came, which was in the back of the ovens… somewhere in Germany… in the 1800’s.”
Ebola Chan could no longer keep quiet as she then responded very abruptly to the Corona, “No dad! It’s not the stupid lizard people! I haven’t been afraid of them since I was six!”
She had looked straight into the Corona’s… uhh… eyes, where ever those eyes were located on him… and said with a very strong tone in her voice.
The Corona, still relaxed and calm, then said, “Ohhh… then what are upset about then sweetie?”
Corona Chan then spoke up and said to her dear sister with worry in her heart, “はい、親愛なる妹をお願いします、あなたとあなたの魂は何のエールを教えてください？ 私たちと風の神々はあなたとあなたの健康を心配しています。”
The Corona didn’t respond back, and just waited for her daughter’s response.
Ebola Chan then said in frustration, “Are you kidding me!? You almost had us killed because you sent us flying into the air! I trusted you, we trusted you!”
She had a bit of worry and a sad look in her eyes as her face changed emotions as she moved her arms outward with emotion towards her father.
The Corona however then said to Ebola Chan, “Oh come on, don’t be silly about that sweetie. That’s nothing to get upset over; I got us back all in one piece didn’t I?”
Ebola Chan then returned back into the angered look that she had and said, “You didn’t have anything planned! You said we were all going to die!”
The Corona then said, “Yeah but… it all worked out for us in the end… didn’t it?”
Ebola Chan, having enough of her father’s antics, then moaned and groaned again in frustration and immediately laid down on her back on the bed and said to him, “I wish at I was with Mom and Chad! I wish you were never my father!”
The Corona and Corona Chan both gasped in shock by Ebola Chan’s comment as Corona Chan seemed a little heartbroken and the Corona then said to her, “You don’t mean that!”
Corona Chan then also said after that, “愛するパパにどうしてそんなことを言えるんだ!?”
Ebola Chan, while staring upwards towards the ceiling, and still anger in her voice, “No, I do mean it. I wish I was with mom. She would at least let me be with my friends and go to school like a normal girl.”
The Corona then seemed to be a bit heartbroken by that response and was a little saddened by it as he looked a little down by her daughter’s own comments against him.
The Corona then said to himself, “Ohh…”
And then a firm knock came from the door and the Corona bounced back up and quickly said, “I’ll get it.”
And then the Corona floated somewhat smoothly towards the apartment’s door to open it up, and to his surprise, it was his ex wife Linda and her new husband Chad, who was still a bottle of Corona beer. A living, breathing, giant glass bottle of beer.
And Chad was just standing somewhat like an idiot while Linda who was all dressed up in formal clothing with a not so happy look on her face.
Chad said as soon as the Corona opened up the door, “Hey there sport, nice to see you again!”
He said it with a happy tone of voice, like a douchebag, but he meant it though so it wouldn’t make him a total douchebag. But it may make him a cuck though, but you got to ask the elder gods about that one. I would ask them, but they don’t return my calls. I blame the Norwegians. Anyways, Linda was just standing there, all pissed off, all with make up on her face and a suit that looked like she was ready to go to the office or something. However, the Corona didn’t question why she was all dressed up.
All he said was as soon as he saw his ex wife, “Oh look what the cat dragged in. If it isn’t my bitch of an ex wife, Linda. Came to see me eh? What do you want now Linda? Came to steal some more money from me because the divorce settlement was not enough for you? Or perhaps you can’t go without a few hours without coming to see me.”
The Corona then got a little bit close to Linda, who was still unamused by the Corona’s words, as the Corona continued to say, “You came to see me to come and see what you’re missing out on? To see what you turned down huh? Which is my penis. You miss my penis don’t you?”
Not sure if Coronas have dicks, but hey, that’s how the story goes.
Anyways, Linda was still unamused and then she said as the Corona backed off a bit from her as she said to him with a look of disgust on her face, “Ewww, it smells like you’ve been drinking.”
She then looked towards Chad and told him, “I told you that’s why he wasn’t picking up the phone, he was probably been doing nothing but drinking and sitting on his fat ass the whole month. I told you we should have came here sooner to get the girls! He probably abused them too!”
The Corona then said, “What!? I did no such thing! I love my two baby girls! Unlike you, you would probably just send them off to school instead of having them spend time with their father.”
Linda then looked at the Corona with a furious look in her eyes as she then said to him, “That’s what normal high school girls are supposed to do Corona! Not trying to help their fathers take over the world!”
The Corona then said, “Oh come on, that’s what you got to fall in love with me when we first met.”
Linda however then responded with, “I didn’t think you meant it literally. I thought you had an actual job and actually did something with yourself. Not chasing your weird fantasies!”
The Corona also too started to become frustrated like his daughter Ebola Chan, and speaking of which, Ebola Chan had sat back up on the bed and was paying attention to the conversation by this point. And as the arguments were flying back and forth between their two parents, both Ebola Chan and Corona Chan started to get looks of worry as to what was going on and what was being spoken of.
Anyways, the Corona was starting to lose it so he then moved on with, “Ok whatever Linda. Wh- What’s up with this whole month shit? I literally last saw you a few hours ago back at the police station after you bailed me out. Starting to lose your memory now too you bitch?”
Linda, who had her hands on her hips then said, “That was last month Corona! We’ve been trying to call you and let you know about the court date!”
The Corona was then confused, yet worried as he asked, “Court date? What court date?!”
Linda then explained, “The court date to go in front of the judge to see who takes the kids? My lawyer sent you a letter in the mail about it. But I guess you were too much into your precious booze to even notice that. Is that why you haven’t been taking our calls, to try and avoid it and to take away my kids?”
Linda then let herself in and walked sternly passed her ex husband and towards Ebola Chan and Corona Chan.
As she did, the Corona followed his eyes with Linda as he then explained to her, “Linda, I don’t even know what you’re talking about. We weren’t even here this entire time. It literally only has been just a few hours for us!”
Linda then turned around and looked towards the Corona angrily, and asked him, “And tell me Corona, where did you take my daughters to?”
She then started to tap her foot as she was wearing some cheap looking high heels and tapping the high heel on the dirty wooden floor that probably had some unknown disease on it or something.
As she waited for an answer, there was a bit of silence in the air for a few seconds… until the Corona then spoke up and said to her, “Well we uhhh… went to the magical land of Equestria where some magical talking ponies tried to help us and take over their world. It didn’t work out though, but the flying pony was nice towards us. Right girls?”
Linda then was disgusted by his answer as she said out loud, “It’s even worse than I thought. You have been drinking AND did some kind of dirty drug from the street! And you probably touched the girls too! I should have you arrested right now.”
She then turned her attention to her two daughters as she then made the gesture of ‘come on, let’s get out of this fucking dump,’ as she then said to the two girls, “Come on, we’re leaving. You’re not spending a second more with this slob.”
Corona Chan then said out loud, out of worry and sadness, “しかし、私はあなたの貴重なパパを残したくありません！ 私たちは彼と一緒にいたい！”
Ebola Chan then looked towards her mother, despite the reserves that she had for her own father, with a worried look on her face as well, “Yeah, do we even get a say in this? We’re almost adults.”
Linda however was not having any of it as she then said, “No, you girls just don’t know any better yet! Now come on, we’re leaving this filthy god forsaken place!”
Linda then took a firm grip to both of the daughter’s arms and then dragged them along with her as she exited the apartment.
As she was leaving, she said to herself out loud, “You’ll stay with us until this is settled later today. Hopefully the judge has some sense to not side with your father. At least with us, you’ll have a normal life.”
Linda then looked at the Corona and said to him with spite, “And just so you know, the time you have to be at the courthouse is at 3. If I were you, I wouldn’t come at all.”
And then she exited the dirty apartment and headed into the hallways as Chad then said to the Corona, as he was just standing there… floating…, “Well good talking to you sport! See you around buddy!”
And then Chad walked off with Linda and as he was walking beside her, he said, “Come on honey! Let’s take the kids for a Sunday Drive!”
Linda however then said as she was dragging the two kids behind her, with a bit of resistance, “Shut up Chad.”
And Chad responded with his happy tone as usual, “Okay!”
As for the Corona, he was just standing there, with the door left open and all alone like his dick was limp and had came too early into a girl, and was left with his dick in his hands and with blue balls.
And with that, he said as soon as they left to himself, “Well shit…”
And then from out of nowhere, a crazy looking hobo son of a bitch came out with a book all with a crazy black hair that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in months and smelled of fish came out to the Corona with a bible in his hands.
He looked crazy, but he went up to the Corona and asked him, “Oh good, you’ve finally opened up the door.”
The Corona then asked him, “Who are you?”
The crazy guy then said to him, “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for over a month. But now that your door is open, wouldn’t you like to hear the good word of Jehovah witnesses and our lord and savior, Bejebus Christ? It’ll only take forever.”
And with that, the Corona was screaming on the inside, just like the rest of us when this happens. Just remember, it’s a life lesson, don’t ever open up the door for the Jehovah witnesses. They never go away and will hunt you down until you do. And when you do show signs of weakness, they will never want to leave your home until you’re one of them. And by then… it’s too late…
LATER THAT DAY IN TOWN…
So it was a few more hours later that day, as the Corona was out and about in the town and had stopped by The Male Store. It was a clothing store for… well males. Kind of like a Men’s Warehouse, but whatever. He was there later that day before the time that he had to arrive at the court house as he was there to try and to borrow a suit on the cheap. He wanted to try to look a little spiffy at least in front of the judge, but he was having some trouble in there.
Let’s see, where could I start off at, ok, so the Corona was saying out loud almost loud enough to where you could hear it outside of the store, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T ACCEPT MY KIND HERE!?”
The Corona was having a fit towards the tailor and the manager of the place, who both were Italian by the way and spoke in a generic Italian like voice.
The Tailor then said to the Corona, “I didn’t say we didn’t accept your kind here. I just said we don’t accept your size here.”
The Corona then asked, “Well why the fuck not then!?”
The tailor then said to him, “Well uhhh… it’s because of your… unique shape…”
He then gave a little nervous laugh, almost as if he didn’t want to offend him about his appearance.
However, the Corona then said to them, “Well I know I have a good looking body and all that, but you’re telling me you can’t find me a suit that could fit me!?”
The Tailor, who seemed a bit weak, but nice as his back was hunched over a bit and a little old, a grey vest with a dark grey tie and some slacks along with a measuring tape around his neck, “I’m afraid so sir. It’s not that we don’t like you, we just can’t serve you is all.”
The manager was however looking a bit pissed as he stood a little bit taller than the tailor, along with wearing a dark red vest and cream colored shirt and younger than the tailor with some greasy dark hair, as he then said out loud, “Cazio! This is starting to get on my nerves. You either buy something… OR GET OUT!”
The Corona then asked them, “Can’t you guys just… find me something. I’ve got an important appointment to go to later today and I want to make sure I’m looking my best. I can’t go looking like this.”
The tailor then looked a little confused as he then said, “Are you supposed to look like that?”
The Corona then looked at him and he said, “Of course I’m supposed to look like this! What do you think, I’m some kind of fucking animal or something?”
The tailor then paused for a moment, letting a few seconds of silence pass by them until he spoke up nervously, “Yes?”
He had said it with a nervous smile too, looking worried.
The Corona however then gave a little sigh and then started to look around the place as he then said and pointed out… somehow… towards a white suit and a red tie in the back, and asked them, “What about that one over there? That white looking thingy, that looks like that could fit me.”
The tailor then nervously said to him, while moving his hands around in gestures, “That suit is reserved for special occasions.”
The Corona then said to him, “Well this is a special occasion. I’m going in front of a judge in a little bit. You can’t lend me it just for a bit? I’ve got some toilet paper with your name on it if you do.”
However, the manager was upset as he then waved his hand towards the Corona with anger with a gesture of trying to shoo him off as he then said to him, “Don’t you get it! We don’t want your money here! GET OUT OF MY STORE!”
The tailor then put his old hands on the manager and asked him, “Calm down there boss. No need to get worked up here.”
The manager then continued to say, “This animal! This… filth thinks he can walk on in here and thinks he can look good in my suits! The ones that I made with care and passion! I will spit on him!”
And then the manager hacked up a spit and spat on the ground in anger.
The manager continued to rant on, “This is a disgrace to the shop! What would the late owner of this place think huh!? He would be disgraced, heartbroken that some, some filth walked right into the store, without even respect to the suits! Cazio I say! Cazio!”
And between the two, the Corona was remaining silent between them as he then finally spoke up between the two of them, “So that would be no suit then? Not even a tie that I can rent from you guys at the very least?”
And then the Manager pointed swiftly towards the door and yelled at him, “GET OUT!”
And then so the Corona was forced to leave.
And as he was leaving the store and out on to the city side walk, he was stumbling and mumbling to himself like a jerk dick, “Stupid fucking… It-Italians. Saying that I wouldn’t look good in a suit. I’d look great in a suit. What a bunch of jerky turkey mother fuckers.”
He had been saying all of this as he was walking down the side walk, towards the court house. And as he was doing so, someone in front of him that looked slick and sly was walking in his direction. He was wearing a sly black suit, no tie with the jacket halfway buttoned with a light blue shirt underneath with a bit of his chest showing.
He was wearing black shoes and a black fedora. He even had a clean shave to his look, no beard or nothing. He had some slick looking hair that was black as well, along with some sly looking eyes. He looked calm and cool, the type of cool that you’d want to be with despite that cool guy possibly trying to steal your shit, but that’s ok cause the guy was cool and you’re fine with cool. Anyways, the guy was walking by and noticed that the Corona was talking to himself as he decided to look up as he was looking down at the ground all cool and sly like as he was walking.
And as he did, a little smile formed on his face as he then spoke up with a cool, slick and sly, a little deep tone in his voice as he then said to the Corona, “Is that you Corona?”
The Corona then stopped in his tracks, as so did the guy, as he then asked, “I’m sorry, but do I know you?”
The slick looking guy then said to the Corona, “Of course you do, don’t you recognize me?”
The Corona then took a few seconds to look at him, but nothing was coming to mind as he then said to him, “Sorry, I don’t recognize you. You probably got some other guy mixed up with me.”
The slick looking guy then said as he put a hand to his chest and made a whole bunch of gestures as he was talking to him with his hands, “Come on, you don’t remember me at all? My name is Komo, Komo Atatsu. At least that’s the nick name that you gave me as a joke.”
The Corona however then said to Komo, “Sorry, still not ringing a bell.”
Komo then said calmly and still coolly, “Oh come on man, we used to work together. We were best buds and hanged out almost all the time years ago. You even gave me my nickname when we were on that job in Japan. We met back in college, remember?”
The Corona however then said to Komo, “Look, you’re going to have to jog my memory here, I’m old ok. I forget a lot of things. I do a lot of old people stuff now you know?”
Komo then said to the Corona, “What, don’t tell me that you’ve forgot?”
The Corona then had to think for a second about it as he then said, “Uhhhhh….”
And as he was trying to remember, he was recalling flashbacks during his college days where he and Komo would go to parties and drink all of the beer they could drink as they both partied like animals, with the Corona jumping on the couch, all crazy like and saying, “Woooo! I’m a fucking crazy son of a bitch! I’m going to take over the world one day! I’m an animal! Woooo!”
And after remembering that little flash back with Komo in it, he stopped his droning of saying, “Uhhhh…”
and finally said to Komo, “Oh yeah, how’s it going?”
Komo then with an even bigger smile on his face that was even more slick and sly than before, then said to him, “That’s the Corona that I remember. Speaking of which, still trying to ‘take over the world’?”
The Corona then hesitated a bit to answer his question, but he then spoke up and said to him, “Uhhh… well it’s not going that great actually to tell you the truth. I haven’t had much luck trying to take over the world and have failed many times. But I’m still not giving up though… just having trouble is all.”
Komo, with still a hopeful smile on his face, a slick one at that, said to him, “Well don’t worry about it Corona. You’ll find your footing one day in this world. Just be patient and the world will be your oyster”
The Corona then said to him, “Sure… whatever… So how it’s it going for you?”
Komo then said with a bit of enthusiasm in his voice, “Well it’s going fine for me. I’m a free lancer here and there, and recently I snagged me a pretty good job. But I can’t tell ya, it’s a super secret.”
He had said it in a cool kind of way as he had put his right index finger towards his mouth and gave him a wink in a sly kind of way.
Komo then continued to say, “But enough about me. How’s the family life going for you? I bet the girls have grown since the last time I saw them years ago. I bet they would want to see their uncle Atatsu again huh?”
The Corona, hesitant again, then said to him, “Yeah… about that… it’s not going so great with them. Linda divorced me a few months back and is with this new douchebag named Chad. And now she wants to take the girls away from me too.”
Komo, with a slight disappointed look on his face, but a still sly like, said to him, “Well that’s a shame. Do you want to get a drink over at the bar and talk to me about it?”
The Corona then said to him, “That would be great but, I’ve got to get to the courthouse. I’m supposed to be going in front of the judge to try and get custody of my kids back.”
Komo, with still a sly look on his face, “Well good luck to you then Corona. Hopefully it all works out for you in the end. Maybe you can tell me how it goes when we see each other again, perhaps over a drink or two. Well, see you around Corona.”
The Corona then said to him as he was walking away, “See you around too… guy…”
And as soon as Komo was out of distance, he said to himself, “Huh… funny I don’t remember him. But then again I do a lot of trying to take over the world things. But then again he was crazy in college. Cool guy though.”
And the Corona was off to the court house. And as he walked on the side walk, barely anyone was in town, despite it being mid day by that point. And as he was walking past shops, a car every now and then would pass by him. It was quiet and contempt. It was kind of nice, but kind of depressing at the same time in a way. But the Corona wasn’t worried about the town that he was in as he was worried about getting his kids back from his ex wife.
And soon he came up to a cross walk, despite no cars coming by, but the light to walk or not was at a hard, solid red. So the Corona went up to the pole and pressed the button and sat there and waited for the light turn green… despite no cars passing him by. And then he sat there, waiting, and waiting, with no one else around. And then a mother in a yellow sun dress and her little boy that was being held by the hand came and stood right next to the Corona. And they too remained silent and was waiting for the light to turn green. And as they were waiting, the little boy looked up with a hopeful smile towards the Corona and started to giggle a bit.
And the Corona noticed as he too looked back at him… somehow… as he just stared back right at the kid.
And after a few seconds of just staring at each other, the little boy tugged at his mother’s yellow dress as he then pointed towards the Corona, “Mommy, mommy, look! That man looks funny!”
The Corona then said to the kid dead straight as the kid looked back towards him, “Don’t think twice kid. I’ll come and get you in your sleep while you’re not looking twice.”
He had said that with the thought in his mind to strike fear into the heart and soul of the kid, to prepare the next generation so that he would be ready for when he dominates the world and they can be easily be manipulated to do his evil bidding as the world’s leader.
However after he said that to the kid, the mother gave him a firm slap across his face, as she was disgusted with him as the little boy started to cry in tears.
After she did that to him without a word, the Corona then said to her, “Bitch.”
And then a nearby church bell was ringing and it finally came to his attention that he didn’t know what time it was. So he looked around, wondering if there was a clock, and there was a big one nearby. And what he saw was that it twenty one minutes before the court hearing.
And with that being said, the Corona saw the time and was in shock as he then said, “Oh no, I’m going to be late to the hearing!”
And then Corona made like rabbits fucking and ran across the cross walk despite the light not being green yet and started to run towards the court house. And as he did so, two cars was coming fast and they crashed and caused a little bit of chaos. Yup… hate that when that happens. Anyways, the Corona ran and ran as fast as he could… or floated I guess, whatever, as he passed by buildings and maybe a guy that was walking in town.
And as the Corona was running, he was breathing heavily, starting to run out of breath as the Corona said to himself silently, “Oh boy, I’m out of shape. I need to go to the gym more often. I am looking fucking fat. Maybe that’s why Linda left me.”
But after a few minutes of running and almost running out of the clock, he finally made it to the court house, which was big, fancy, and possibly older than your grandma. And it probably needed a lightning strike too but who knows.
THE COURT HOUSE…
Anyways, the Corona made it to the steps of the court house, just in time to try and get his kids back. The court house looked big and old and looked like it was made in the 1800’s or something… the slaves probably did it. Oh wait, you thinking those slaves, no I mean THOSE slaves… yes... the lizard people think they are clever, but not clever enough that we went back in time and enslaved their kind first… checkmate bitches. Anyways, as soon as the Corona entered through the decently sized big doors to the court house, he had entered through it and the lobby area was a big circle area, with the floor being made out of all white marble.
And the walls were lined with columns with in between those columns were doors to other areas of the building. Some upstairs, some down stairs, and some to the gift shop. Every place needs a gift shop, even the holocaust. And the whole place was topped off with a big ol’ dome with glass windows letting the light shine in as the Corona ran across that light, rushing to get over to the court room. And that light was probably kind of warm too as he ran over that light.
Well, the Corona made it to the court room that was on the other end of the big circle area, and as soon as he made it, the doors were closed and the Corona stopped in his tracks as he then stopped to catch his breath and gave a sigh of relief as he then said to himself quietly, “Whew… made it just in time.”
But before he could enter the room, he was stopped by three Chinese mother fuckas behind him. They were all male, kind of short, all in black business suits with red ties, with one of them having a little Asian mustache, one of them with glasses, and the other one with neither of the two other descriptions. The one leading it was the normal looking Asian, the one without the mustache or glasses. The other two followed behind him, carrying briefcases, and they looked mighty pissed.
Well, the main Chinese motha fucka stopped the Corona before he could enter by saying to him, “Hold it right there Mr. Covid.”
The Corona then said as he then turned around to see who it was with a bit of a surprise in his voice, “Mr. Covid? I haven’t been called that in ages. Who are you guys?”
The main Chinese motha fucka then said to the Corona, “We’ve gotten word of your recent actions Mr. Covid, and just so you are aware of it, Mao isn’t too happy.”
The Corona then remained a little bit confused as to what he was talking about.
The Corona said to the Chinese motha fucka, “Mao? Isn’t that guy dead or something, or whatever. Look if you’re worried about the whole being in that kids room, it’s fine. I’m taking care of it, just give me some time; I’ll be back in that kids room to shut him up. At least that’s what they do in the movies.”
And for the record Mao was dead, but hey, these Chinese dream of him nightly and dream of jerking him off every other day in their Chinese poems so go figure.
Anyways, the main Chinese motha fucka, still looking pissed and speaking with a stereotypical Chinese accent in his voice, sort of high pitched, “Just keep your ass in line Mr. Covid. You don’t want anything bad happening today, do you?”
He had said it with intimidation in his voice, but the Corona wasn’t easily manipulated as he then said to him, “Whatever dude. Just let me do the talking in there, I know a few words to make the judge slide my way, if you know what I’m talking about. Yeah… the ol’ bribery of three whole bags of pizza rolls. And it’s from 2001. Vintage”
The Corona had gotten a little close to the Chinese motha fucka when he said that to him. But the Chinese motha fucka was unamused by his words as he then said to him while looking all stiff and Asian like, “Oh I bet you do Mr. Covid. You better watch the words that you say in there, or else we’re going to have to get all Great Leap Forward all over your fucking ass.”
And then there was silence between the two, and it looked like the Corona was trying to take in the threat, trying to analyze it and see what would be the next, smart response to him.
But in the end after a few seconds had passed, the Corona then just simply said to the guy, “Ok.”
And then the Corona opened up the wooden double doors of the courthouse, dark brown wood I should say, and waltzed right on in. And as he did so, his ex wife, along with Chad and their old fart bag lawyer was sitting on their left side, with the right side being empty, reserved for the Corona. And Ebola Chan and Corona Chan were sitting right behind Linda as well, looking worried about what was going to happen next while also looking a little sad too. Seemed that Ebola Chan didn’t think twice about her wish, huh? Huh? Huh…. Huh? Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh….. Huh…
Anyways, but for some reason all the way in the back on the right side was a mysterious man in a light brown duster coat and detective hat that was covering his face, along with a white shirt and tie, sitting where the audience would be sitting at… all alone and laid back with his feet put up on the seating in front of him and his elbows pulled back.
And as the Chinese motha fuckas were walking past him to take their seats behind the lawyer of the ex wife, the Corona stopped in his tracks as he noticed the mysterious man and couldn’t see his face. However he could see his mouth and that he had a sort of long, pointy, almost cartoon like beard that was a little reddish, but not quite. And from the judgment of the mouth, he didn’t look too pleased to be there. And the Corona was suspicious of him, not sure why a man like that would be there for that kind of a court case.
So he went towards the mysterious man as the man didn’t look like he was paying attention and was instead in his own little world, and asked him, “Uh… excuse me but uhh… do I know you?”
The mysterious man then said with a rough and scuffed voice, “Don’t worry about it.”
The Corona still concerned then asked him, “Yeah but… why are you here? Are you supposed to do something here today or…”
The mysterious man then cut him off and said to him, “I said don’t worry about it. It’s none of your damn business to know why I’m here. Just pretend I don’t exist.”
The Corona, hesitant to say anything back to him, said, “Uhhh.. ok then… well… bye… I guess…”
And all the mysterious man said in response was a little rough grunt as the Corona was walking to his seat up in the front.
As the Corona was walking to the front, Ebola Chan then said with a little worry but a bit of hope in her voice, but with a mostly worried look, “Dad!”
Corona Chan also said after Ebola Chan spoke up, “ああパパ! またあなたに会うのは千年になると思った！”
She had said it in the same way as her sister did.
The Corona then responded to them as he was walking to his seat on the right, “Don’t worry girls, daddy will get you out of this mess, don’t worry.”
The Chinese motha fucka leader had said underneath his breathe after the Corona had said that, “We’ll see about that…”
Of course the Corona didn’t hear that, but who gives a shit, I’m still questioning how it can have simple human functions despite not being human, but who cares, just roll with it.
Anyways, the judge was already sitting in his big ol’ high chair in the center, who was a simple man in his forties or something, wore some glasses, and was wearing the black robe attire and all, along with a simple police officer standing by in case anything were to happen. Nothing special, the same ol’ same ol, and as for the rest of the court room, it was just a typical court room with some red carpeting and no one else in sight since this was just a simple case of who gets the kid.
And as the judge, who seemed to have been tired and wearied, gave a little sigh and asked the Corona, “So I’m assuming you’re the father then?”
The Corona then said as he was sitting down, “That’s right your honor.”
And the judge then said, “And where’s your lawyer at may I ask?”
The Corona then said, “Well uhhh… I can’t afford one so I thought I’d just wing it you know? You ever wing it in court judge?”
The judge then simply responded to him as if he was dead every day on the inside… just like the rest of us…, “Every time. But no need for a lawyer here Corona Virus. We’re just here to talk. I told that to your ex wife over there, but she seemed adamant that she had to have a lawyer with her.”
The Corona then responded with, “It’s just the Corona sir. Corona Virus was my father’s name. And I get it; Linda is a hard ass and doesn’t listen, just like when we were married. Always had to have it her way!”
The Corona looked over in spite, and as he spotted their lawyer like I said, it was an old guy with some big pair of glasses, in a light grey suit and tie.
The Corona was a bit confused by this as he then questioned Linda, who was also looking back in spite towards him, “Hey, I thought our lawyer was a she?”
The ex wife then explained to the Corona, “I got a different one since the last time we saw each other, but of course you wouldn’t know that since you never picked up the phone!”
The judge then interrupted them and said out loud, “Sounded like a fun relationship.”
He had said it with a sarcastic tone in his voice.
He then continued to say to the both of them, “Ok then, let’s get the show on the road and be out of here in thirty, the Mrs. is making steak tonight.”
The Corona got up from his seat abruptly and yelled out, “Agreed! Now I would like to call my first witness to the stand!”
The judge was shocked by this has his mouth was opened in surprise as well as being a little confused.
He had said to the Corona “Wh- What? This isn’t that kind of a case.”
The Corona, who then started walking towards the judge a little bit, “Oh but it is now your honor. I must prove that I am worthy of taking my two precious daughters with me.”
Linda then also abruptly got up from her seat as she yelled towards the judge, “Objection! He’s a lousy father!”
The judge however just removed his glasses a bit off from his face as he started to rub his eyes in stress as he gave a moan and groan and said to himself, “I don’t get paid enough for this.”
He then put his glasses back on and then said without a care, “Proceed Corona. Let’s just get this over with as fast as possible.”
The Corona, who was happy, as Linda was not as she sat back down with a huff, said as he was walking around and said out loud, “I call my first witness to the stand, Fifth Chan! Even though he didn’t help me enslave his race...”
The judge then, looking tired and annoyed, “And where is this Fifth Chan?”
The Corona then started to think about it and it didn’t hit him until that moment that Forrest was nowhere nearby and was in the other universe, the one that I am in right now.
And was also currently at the time that this was happening. The Corona then just stood there and droned on with, “Uhhhhh…”
The Judge then stopped him and said, “If he isn’t nearby, then you’ll have to find another witness. I’m not spending all day here.”
The Corona then said to him, “Just give me a minute. He’ll show up, just wait.”
The Corona then went over to the witness stand as he then did a little dance, or just simply bobbing around as he then said, “Oh ooga booga… open the portal… ooga booga, let me in, let me in… uhh.. ooga booga? Bring me Fifth Chan? … Oogabooga?... “
And then there was silence for a few seconds and everyone was waiting in the court room to see if anyone would show up. And after a few seconds had passed, a random portal opened up, in a horizontal pose, and what came out the bottom end, along with a little screaming, was Forrest.
He had quickly came down through the portal, unwillingly and unknowingly, almost as if he had just gone down some kind of chute. And as he landed in the witness chair, the portal above him closed and Forrest was confused as to what had just happened. And yes, Forrest was still in pony form and in the human world. And as Forrest arrived, he had big eyes, curious as to where he was and was looking around the place.
As he was doing so, Forrest asked himself, “Where am I?”
The Corona then went up to him and asked, “Nice of you to join us… Fifth Chan… if that’s your real name!?”
The Corona had gotten a little close to Forrest’s face when he had said that to him.
And as for Forrest, he then simply said, all calm, but not exactly happy, just mellowed out and worried, “My name is Forrest… and didn’t I see you a month ago?”
The Corona then said, “Yeah that was me. I couldn’t think of anyone else to defend me, but that’s beside the point.”
The Judge then gave another sigh of being dead on the inside as he then looked towards Forrest, unphased that he was a talking, Technicolor talking pony and all, and asked him, “I would have the officer here get the bible, but I don’t know where it’s at. And frankly I’m too lazy to go find it these days. Just answer this, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth or so help you god?”
Forrest then was caught off guard by the question as he hesitated to answer and said, “Uhhhh… yes? What am I saying yes to exactly?”
The judge then said, “Close enough. Proceed Corona.”
The Corona then said to the judge, “Thank you your honor.”
The Corona then started to walk back and forth near Forrest as he then started to question him.
The Corona asked Forrest, “So Fifth Chan…”
Forrest then corrected the Corona and said to him, “It’s Forrest.”
The Corona then said to him, “Whatever. So Forrest, would you say that I am the best father there ever was, especially towards my two little princesses over there, right behind my bitch of a wife?”
The Corona… somehow... pointed towards his ex wife so Forrest could see. And Forrest saw them, still confused but rolling along with everything. As for the two girls they were looking onward, waiting to see how this all played out, but still worried though. And at the time, the old man lawyer for Linda was sleeping in his chair, with his head slumping forward.
And with that in mind, the leader of the Chinese motha fuckas quickly grabbed the old lawyer guy, pulled him back of the seating, and broke his neck as well as quickly taking his clothes and disguising himself as the ex wife’s lawyer, while putting tape near his eyes to look more American. And no one was paying attention to that. Back to Forrest, he had to think about the question that was asked of him.
And as he put his head upwards and put his right hoof to his chin and thought about it for a while, he then responded to the Corona, “Yeah, I would say so.”
He had said it too with a hopeful smile. The Corona then said to Forrest, “And please Forrest, please explain to my fucking whore of what used to be my wife, but now is scum of the earth to me, how I am the best father.”
Forrest then said, with still a smile on his face, “Well, when you came to Stalia, you seemed to stick by them and was trying to teach them. Sure, they didn’t look too happy to be with you, but from what I can understand, you just wanted to try to take over the world so you could provide for your family… I think. And at the end, when you were sad that your plans weren’t working out, your daughters came by your side and was there to support you. And just seeing that seemed like you were one big happy family.”
He had said that all with a smile.
And then quickly after he had said that with a smile, that smile disappeared into a worried one as he then asked him, “Can you send me back home now?”
The Corona ignored that last question as he then said to the judge, “I rest my case.”
The Corona then went and sat back down at his seat over on the right side of the room, and Forrest, not sure what was happening to him right then and there, got out of his seat and sat right next to the Corona as well. And throughout the whole thing, he just sat there, quite, waiting to see if he would go back home or not.
And soon as the two sat down, the judge then said, “Well look, this is starting to drag on, let’s just come down to a rational compromise and…”
The Chinese motha fuck leader that had killed the old lawyer soon shot up and raised his left hand as he then yelled at the judge, “OBJECTION! WE CALL OUR WITNESS TO THE STAND!”
The judge then looked at the lawyer and asked him, “Hey, do you look different?”
The Chinese motha fucka leader then said with the best American accent that he could muster, “Uhhh, of course not. I am a big fat American with big fat American penis just like the rest of you. I eat at McDonalds and give myself diabetes every other day and support the glorious government of China and support Mao and Communist China as I continue to buy their shitty products from them every day like the fat American that we are all are. Am I right my fellow American?”
The judge, knowing that something was up, just didn’t care anymore and just gave a sigh as he then said to him, “Fine, whatever. What’s your witness?”
The Chinese motha fucka then pointed towards the Corona and yelled out loud, “I call Mr. Covid to the stand!”
As soon as the Corona heard his name pop up, he too shot up from his seat and said, “ME!? …….. ok…”
And then he calmly went up to the witness stand and sat down as the Chinese motha fucka walked up towards him. And soon the Chinese motha fucka leader asked the Corona, “So Mr. Covid. Can I ask you what do you do for your occupation? Is it working to make sure the glorious communist government of china will become the world’s super power and one day rule the world?”
The Corona then calmly responded with, “Uhh, no I do not sir.”
The Chinese motha fucka then asked him, “Then tell me Mr. Covid, what do you do then? What income do you get that you think you could provide for your two beautiful girls that we could so sell on black market for a good price?”
The Corona then answered him, “Oh well I uhh… try to take over the world. Try to achieve world domination. Although it hasn’t panned out though, but one day it will.”
The Chinese motha fucka then jumped up quickly while pointing at him and said, “AH HA! YOU SEE YOUR HONOR! HE’S A FREELANCER, HE HAS NO STABLE INCOME AND PROVES THAT HE ABUSES HIS DAUGHTERS THAT CHINA SHOULD BE ABUSING INSTEAD! AND HE IS IN DIRECT COMPETTION WITH CHINA AS WELL, WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! I rest my case.”
The Chinese motha fucka then went and sat back down at his seat as the Corona was still sitting there as he then said to himself, “Oh fuck, this lawyer is good. Fucking bitch, getting all the best lawyers, with my half of the money.”
The Corona then looked up at the judge and asked him, “Can we take five please, so me and Forrest can talk things over.”
The judge then gave another dead on the inside sigh and said to himself, “This is never going to end.”
He then said to the Corona, “Alright, take five.”
The Corona then said under his breath, “Thank god.”
And then the Corona got out of the witness seat and was walking towards the entrance doors as he then signaled Forrest to follow him… somehow… And Forrest then followed him by using his wings and flew out of the room with him.
And as soon as the two were outside of the court room together, he then said to Forrest, “Oh fuck Forrest, this is bad. I thought we had it in there, but that bitch Linda just had to get that kind of a lawyer. I tell you, those lawyers are just too good damn it. You know the government uses those types of lawyers I hear.”
Forrest, who was more worried about getting back to Equestria, was just hovering above the Corona, but not too high up, and was looking down at him and said to him, “I don’t mean to bother you and all, but… when can I go back home?”
The Corona then said to him, “What? Oh yeah yeah, sure sure. After this case, I’ll send you back.”
Forrest, with a big, hopeful smile on his face, said to the Corona, “Really?”
The Corona, who was looking away from Forrest, at least the best that I can tell that is, and said to him, “Yeah sure, whatever. Let’s just focus on getting my daughters back. Ok so you’re my lawyer, what do you suggest since we’re fresh out of witnesses?”
Forrest then went back into a worried look on his face as he then said to the Corona, “But I’m not your lawyer though.”
The Judge then yelled out as loud as he could from the court room, “THAT’S FIVE YOU GUYS, COME BACK IN SO WE CAN FINISH THIS UP!”
The Corona then said to himself, “Oh we are so screwed now.”
And so the two headed back through the wooden double doors and straight back to their seats, with no fuss or nothing.
And as soon as they both took their seats, the judge looked at them straight in the eyes and asked them, “So, you got anything to present to me?”
The Corona then stood up and said, “I uhhh… regret to inform you your honor that me and my lawyer here are fresh out of ideas. So the answer is no.”
And then the Corona sat back down quickly as the judge then responded with under his breath, “Thank fucking god.”
He then looked towards the Chinese motha fucka and asked him, “What about you, anything else or can we be reasonable adults here and make a decision on who keeps the children?”
The Chinese motha fucka then stood up with a little anger in his eyes as he then said to the judge, “We have one more witness to call to the stand. I call Steve Jones to the stand!”
And then the Chinese motha fucka pulled out a puppet that looked like Pinocchio from what looked like his Asian ass, went up to the stand and put the puppet down. And as soon as he did, he started walking back and forth, and for some reason the puppet started to move and talk. What a shocker. And it was in a Chinese high pitch tone of voice too.
Well, the Chinese motha fucka started to ask Jones, “So Steve Jones, tell us how long you have been knowing Mr. Covid here.”
Steve Jones then said “I’ve known him since high school! And in high school he touched me inappropriately! And he wore black face too!”
The Chinese motha fucka then said, “The nerve of this guy. And tell us what else Steve Jones.”
Jones then started to point towards the Corona with a pissed off look as he continued to say, “Well he’s also a pedophile, adopted a black kid, raped a hooker that I sure did not pay to frame him, is a Christian, and worked with the Russians. The Russians I say, the Russians! And he doesn’t like China and thinks there is a genocide going on, which is fake news! Seig Heil Mao!”
And with that the puppet did a little Hitler salute, but for Mao.
And with that being said, the Chinese motha fucka then said to everyone, “I rest my case.”
And he then sat back down with a smirk on his face, thinking that he had won.
However the judge was not moved by this as he then was starting to get real annoyed by all of this madness as he then said, “Alright, this is ridiculous! Look, I’m going to go to the john and while I’m gone, I want you all to come down to a decision or I’m going to make it for you.”
And so the judge, who probably shouldn’t be leaving for the bathroom, left to go number one. Or five, who cares anymore, we all have problems. And the Chinese motha fuckas started to talk amongst themselves as they didn’t like the judge’s response. They thought they had it in the bag for sure as the leader turned around towards his other two companions to talk it over.
The leader motha fucka said, “I don’t think he bought the accusations.”
The one with the mustache then slowly brought up a knife and said, “Do you want me to kill him and blow up his daughter’s boyfriend car with thermite?”
The leader motha fucka then said, “No, we need to save that for someone else.”
Then the glasses motha fucka started to take out some paper with some forged signatures and said, “Do we rig…”
The leader motha fucka was quickly to shoot him down as he then said to him, “No you idiot! Keep it down, that’s for later when we rig Antarctica Election. Those damn emperor penguins are going to wish they didn’t call themselves emperor by the time we’re done with them. No… I’m going to pay our little judge friend a little visit.”
IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah so a little bit afterwards, the judge was taking a piss over at the urinal stalls and as he was finishing up, the Chinese leader motha fucka showed up with both his hands behind his back and asked him, “So your honor, have you thought who should take the kids.”
The judge then said to him after giving him a sigh, “Haven’t talked it out yet huh? Well look, I’m just going to hand it to the Corona guy ok.”
As the judge went over to wash his hands, the Chinese motha fucka then asked him, with a bit of anger, “And why him?”
The judge then said, “I don’t know, he seems an alright guy. The daughters didn’t seem to have a problem with him before. And frankly, I rather not deal with the paper work and just keep the kids with the current parent. Besides, the girls are in their teens, I think they should be with their father anyways if you ask me.”
As the judge was finishing up, he looked over at the Chinese motha fucka, with a dead on the inside look as he then said to him, “Oh well, that’s too bad. It’s such a shame that we will have to tell the whole town about your little secret.”
The judge didn’t like where this was going as he then asked, “What are you getting at?”
The Chinese motha fucka then had a little smirk on his face as he then said to him as he got closer to him, “Oh you know... the little thing that you did… five years ago. After you got drunk… remember that night your honor.”
The judge started to look nervous, scared even as he soon remembered what he was talking about.
He then asked the Chinese motha fucka, “Oh please god don’t do it.”
The Chinese motha fucka then said to him, “Either give the custody of the kids over to Linda or…”
And then the Chinese motha fucka cut himself off as he then went over to the judge’s ears and started to whisper what he was going to do and say to the whole town.
And as he was speaking, the judge’s jaw dropped to the floor, in shock and in disgust what he was saying to him. He was shaken to his inner core with what he was being told.
BACK IN THE COURT ROOM…
As everyone was waiting for the judge to come back, the Corona was talking over with Forrest his next move.
He was saying to him, “Alright so when the judges comes back, that’s the backup plan in case he doesn’t accept my final offer.”
Forrest then said, “But… but isn’t that wrong?”
The Corona then said to him, “Wrong? Who gives a fuck about that? I just want my kids back.”
Forrest then said to him, “Yeah but…”
However Forrest quickly got cut off as the judge walked back into the room very quickly as he then got up into his high chair and grabbed the gravel with a firm grip in his hand with a look as if he had just seen a ghost.
The Corona then got up and started to walk towards him as he then said, “Oh good, you’re back. Look, if you can just give me full custody of my kids, I can give you…”
However the judge didn’t care as he then slammed the gravel as much as he could and as loud as he could as he said to the court room, “GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY! “
The Corona then asked, “What?”
The judge then said, “I hereby grant full custody to Linda and Chad with the Corona not being allowed to see them ever again.”
The Corona, who was confused as to what just happened, then asked him, “But wait, what about the witness that I have you and…”
The judge however cut him off again and was quickly getting out of his seat and said to him, “Sorry but I’ve got to go. That’s my final order… ok?”
And then the judge headed straight to the door and didn’t look back. And soon, he was out of there.
And as Linda had a big ol’ smile on her face and was dragging the kids away, the Chinese motha fuckas were celebrating and were giving each other high fives as they were saying, “Yeah, we did it again! Mao would be proud!”
And the puppet, almost from out of nowhere came out and gave a little Hitler salute and said, “Seig Heil Mao!”
And as the two girls were being dragged out very quickly, Ebola Chan said to her dad, “Dad, please do something! I’m sorry I said that I wished that you weren’t my father! I really do!”
And Ebola Chan also said as she was being dragged out of the court room by their mother, following Chad behind them, “パパ助けてください! 私たちは、あなたが私たちをあなたの愛する抱擁に戻すことを神々に祈ります！ 私たちはあなたパパを欠場します！”
And for the Corona, he was stunned. He was frozen still, not sure what to do of it all, he had lost, yet it seemed like that was impossible. Something was up, he could feel it, yet he didn’t have time to think it all through as he then quickly went after his girls that were almost out of the building by then. As for Forrest he followed suite, as both exited the court room. As for the mysterious man, he just sat there like he was doing the entire case and gave a little grunt as he watched as the Corona zoomed out of there.
And he then said to himself, “What a fucking job that I have on my hands.”
As for the Corona, he was losing the girls and didn’t see them in the lobby. But he ran forward anyways and quickly went through the main doors of the building. And as he did, he saw his two precious girls in the back of their mother’s car, looking out the window with big, sad puppy dog eyes.
And as they were driving off, he yelled out to them, “EBOLA CHAN! CORONA CHAN! NOOOOOO!”
But it was too late as they were out of the building and out of sight.
And as the Corona stood on top of the steps, all alone and lost and without his children by his side, he looked upwards towards the sky and yelled out, as if he was talking to god himself, “I Swear I’ll get you back one day. I swear I’ll see you one day. I SWEAR TO YOU LINDA, I’LL GET THEM BACK YOU BITCH!!!”
And in a way, he was shaking his fist as well, all in anger and rage.
And as he was busy looking up at the sky, Forrest came up behind him, still with a worried look on his brow, and asked him, “So… can I go home now?”
And that’s it for that one. What, you want me to tell the whole fucking thing, well maybe next time. Now I just want to go over to Wolf and fuck with him a bit for him making me have to do this shit. Good night or whatever…
Well, we finally continued with history repeating itself.
In addition, just to let you know how everybody went with his or her fake memories, it was ok. Although, Arrell has a little hazy memory of those events, but doesn’t remember it completely. If he does remember it, then I’m sorry, but I have to put him down.
Anyway, I was given a letter by Celestia, to practice some magic. She gave me something’s that I could, and I didn’t give a flaming fuck about it. Besides, doesn’t she know how powerful my magic already is?
I mean, I have over a thousand spells written and created by me. Therefore, I just ended up smoking weed while Wolf got drunk.
Just to also let you know, that I have been smoking weed a lot, and it’s not for comedic proposes, but It somewhat is relaxing. Well, for me, since I don’t get any of the damaging effects of it.
Well, all of a sudden, two colts, or I believe the correct term is colt. I don’t know. Two small boy children. Whatever. Two colts came up to my door, and told me to come and see the magnificent Harry.
I’m not kidding. That’s the Trixie pony for me. His name is fucking Harry. Of course, that sounds like Harry Potter, since he’s a unicorn and all.
There’s just one problem though. He’s not British. I mean, I always joked back on earth, that all British people are all wizards and go to Hogwarts. I also joked that Rarity had a British voice accent a little, and I just said she was a wizard. I even gave her a somewhat funny back story. She was once owned by harry Potter.
I also had one for Fluttershy as well.
The thing is with this one, is that the reason she is shy and is because she is trying to forget painful memories that she had when she was in the Vietnam War. Don’t ask where that came from.
Anyways, I got the two colts names, and they were dog and tales. That seemed to make sense. It really does if you think about snips and snails.
Well, I went to the crowd, and all my friends were there, trying to be better then Harry.
In addition, I still find the name Harry for him doesn’t fits him. From now on for the story, and this is still what I call him to this day, the magnificent Doucebag. Alternatively, just Doucebag for short.
Well, Doucebag was just like Trixie.
An arrogant fool.
He was also were beatingmy friends in their skills that they had. He then saw me, and challenged me.
I then said fuck off, and out of nowhere, a mare comes in, that wasn’t even from this town. In fact, she had an 80’s look.
The mare went up to Doucebag and said I wasn’t cool anymore and I lost the skill of magic.
I then said, “Who the fuck are you?”
Doucebag also said how I wasn’t great and magnificent like him.
Then another mare and a stallion came up beside me, and told Doucebag to leave me alone. Doucebag then said, that he will leave this town and me alone, if I challenged him to a magic contest.
The stallion then said that I would defeat him in that challenge.
I then said, “who are you ponies!? Where the fuck did you come from!?” then everybody just left.
I was told by Forest to come back in three hours.
Then wolf said to me, that I know what to do. He was right. I knew what I needed to do in this situation. And that’s by doing an 80’s movie training montage.
While I was training, I also cast a spell, where music will play in the background while doing specific things. I basically had she’s a maniac, the power of love, back in time, no easy way out, best of the best, mighty wings, burning heart, push it to the limit, the workout theme from Rocky 4, you’re the best around, hearts on fire, and we fight for love.
Yea, those a list of the songs from the 80’s that I listened to.
While that was going on, I ran up a snow covered mountain, did exercises physically, and with my magic, punched a punching bag for a while, and did other training exercises from Rocky 4.
After that was over, it was time to face Doucebag. Well, I saw him, and that mare chick who said I wasn’t good anymore was there, giving Doucebag a boner.
Well, we then started the competition, and I kicked his ass real easy.
As I said, I write my own magic very easily. In fact, that’s what I did to the completion. Most of them were just for shits and giggles, but some were pretty impressive. Not even Celestia and Luna can’t do.
By the way, since I was a human before, and if you’re wondering how do I, a regular unicorn have more power than a god like being? Well, I wondered too, but I soon found the answer, but if I told, it would spoil the fun. So in the mean time, just guess.
Anyway, one of the spells that I used, that I wrote myself, was to turn off gravity. Another one that I had was a spell that made a big flat long metal thing that covers over a city.
It’s mostly goes along with the gravity spell.
I also have another spell that goes along with the metal top one.
It’s just basically a reference.
All the spell does is give you a device, that has several buttons on it. Well, what happens is, you press one of the buttons, in a order, and its makes music. Then the big metal top responds with a deeper tone to the notes. If you haven’t guess by now, although, it was a shitty description of it. I was referencing the close encounters of the third kind movie. It’s when the humans were communicating with the mothership with the musical notes.
Well, that’s how I defeated Doucebag. Nevertheless, of course, he arrogant. He then said even though he was defeated by a worthless piece of shit, or in other words, me, he will still stay here in Stalia.
I fucking knew it. Wolf and I even betted on it, which means I fucking win, and he would owe me 20 bits.
So anyway, the strange mare chick still sticked with him, while the other two from before came up to me and said don’t worry about Doucebag and they will find a way to get him out of town. Of course, I thought, maybe they would try to prank him out of town, but I don’t konw, something 80’s I guess. So, I also said to them, “who are you ponies!? I don’t even fucking know you!”
well, later that night, Doucebag was in his trailer, while dog and tales were outside his home. They were two retards and thought maybe they could boost his popularity, by bringing an user major and I mean an user major to town, so Doucebag could defeat the major with his magic.
Well, those two idiots did just that, and Stalia was in a panic.
I then walked outside, because I was woken up by the screaming. I mean, I was having a good dream. I dreamt that… you know what. I believe when history was repeating itself, all I was dreaming was having a dream within a dream, within a dream or seven levels of dream, and all those levels of dreams had me smoking weed and drinking beer.
Now, don’t get me wrong here. I dream about other stuff too, but that was only when I wasn’t repeating episodes from the show. When it wasn’t repeating, I was dreaming about my memories in the past. Like the time when I was an Alicorn, or the Fall.
Anyway, I then saw Doucebag trying to use his magic, but he was nervous, because he didn’t know how to defeat an user major, because he said he did know how.
Well, I then walked up to the user major and I used what I call the fuck off spell. All the spell did was plant a bomb under the major’s feet, and it blasted the major away and into the Everfree forest.
Everyone cheered me on and how I sent the beast back to where it belongs.
Yea, no, I killed the beast. In fact, the timber wolves would have pliant of meat to eat. Although, I did feel bad for the user minor, because I killed its mother. But hey, at least it has food for a while, or in other words, its mother. I know that was wrong, but hey it doesn’t know. Besides, it didn’t mean I almost made the species go extinct. There were plenty of them out there.
Well, Doucebag then left in embarrassment and fled Stalia. Then the chick that was with him, came up to me, and said she was sorry she ever doubted me, and the other ones from before said how great I did and I was the best. In addition, while they were saying that, some victory 80’s music was playing in the background.
I was surprised no one noticed.
I also said, “You know what, I just give up. I just don’t understand where the fuck you ponies came from, but I just give up.” Therefore, I then headed back to my house, and waited for episode 7 to come.
In addition, those guys never returned.
I did the right thing for giving up on it, because I think it was the universe getting back at me from trying to resist repeating history.
In addition, if you all wondered what Doucebag looked like, he was the same color as Trixie, but the mane was black, and was a male, of course.
Hmmm… The weather is kind of warm out today. Hmmm… Well anyways I still have to write some more of these little moments from my past. These little episodes in my life. These little half episodes from my life, like half the length of a normal episode.
It’s like every day is an episode, the morning alarm is your theme song. The crickets outside your window or cars that drive by your home is your end credit music. And the people that look at you and stare at you are the laugh track. They just stand there, stare at you and think about how ugly you are, how pathetic your life is.
You life is worthless and you can do nothing right in life. You are a useless eater as the Super Elites are planning on putting you in the back of the ovens one day up in their little super computer space station above Uranus. And as they stare at you, they are laughing at you, not with you, but at you. And there’s nothing that you can do as all you can do is stand there and watch as you are surrounded by an endless sea of people, pointing and laughing at you. And if you’re a boy, then they are probably pointing and laughing at your micro ding dong.
And all they do is laugh and laugh and laugh, yet you can’t hear the laughter, all you hear is silence and the endless sounds of the darkness that creeps into your mind every night while you try to sleep and annoy the scream of the people that you saw die in front of you. You tried to do something, tried to save them, but you couldn’t so the voices of the damned come into your room at night, wanting to take your soul away from this Earth and into the darkness of the damned!
And the laughter just keeps getting louder and louder, not being able to drown the voices of the dead people laughing at you out of your head! And then you realize that your episodes and seasons keep getting renewed season after season. You want the show to be cancelled, but God keeps renewing your contract every year, a never ending show for 70 – 100 years or more! You just want it to end! But you can’t, even when you put the barrel of the gun that you bought for such an occasion, you can’t bring yourself to pull the trigger because God won’t let you! The show must go on! You are not allowed to be free from your never ending nightmare of a show as the audience laughs and laughs and laughs! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
And then you realize you’re in Wal-mart, waiting in the very long check outlines cause only three out of one thousand registers are opened. And you check your watch and notice it’s half past twelve. Probably going to eat some frozen pizza tonight and play some vidya games or something. Eyup, life goes like that sometimes. Anyways, let’s get into the little short moments in my life where the skeleton hambone named Ghost came and found me and where I live, along with me and the guys doing some stuff with him. I guess it’s time to have the talk about the Ghost guy and his series of events that occurred.
Remember when I mentioned it? Remember when I mentioned about Ghost and him being a skeleton? Yeah… you do… don’t you bitch? Anyways, I suppose I should introduce Ghost and his little episodes or adventures that we had with him before I start off with one of the things that we did together.
Let’s see, how should I explain this to you… whoever is reading this. Maybe aliens are going to be reading this after humans have gone extinct so I’m just trying to prepare for whatever comes this journal’s way you know? You never know when Aliens or Illegal Aliens are going to be reading this, and they will be confused on who Ghost is, or a Technicolor talking pony for that matter, but I’m sure they can figure that part out for themselves eventually.
Just following the rules what my 4th grade language teacher taught me when writing anything, assume the reader is beyond fucking retarded and know absolutely nothing. Shall I start with two plus two (that equals five) or shall I start with colors? Colors? Ok, Blue, green, yellow, clear, seven, AIDS. See those are colors, you’re learning fast, you’re going places.
Anyways, Ghost ghost ghost. What can I say about Ghost? First time I had met him, he was really weird, later on we had some fun and adventures together. And then later on… well later on kind of gets too complicated for right now to simply time put. Just know something’s happened with Ghost that will take quite some of explaining to do and right now I don’t think you’re ready for that part yet. Although I will say it gets wild, but for right now let’s start small with Ghost. In the beginning, I don’t know where he came from or who he is, at least at first. And one day while walking on the train tracks if you recall when I told you guys, and if not then here it is, I was by myself.
I was running away from TF and a little group of his; it was a whole other thing, trying to hunt me down. Some guy named Blacky died and Sky was a faggot that wanted to be a tough guy or something. You can thumb through the pages to look back at that one if you want... assuming you aliens have thumbs. And if you aliens don’t know what thumbs are, they are like dicks for your hands that you think you can play around with and touch, yet it is disappointing when you do and sometimes it weird’s you out when you get high sometimes.
Or not, trust me, after being a pony for many years thumbs are just really weird compared to hooves. Anyways, while walking the trains and TF and his little posse group somewhere behind me keeping an eye on me somewhere from far behind, I was walking the train tacks alone after an accident had occurred on the tracks. There was a grey sky with some snow I think. And along my travels along the train tracks I came across some odd characters. Some short, some long, and then I happened to come across a guy named Ghost. He was a skeleton that was a hambone that was in a wheelchair and probably lost his legs in the rice paddies in Vietnam somewhere. And because of that, he had his wheelchair being pushed by another skeleton named The Engineer.
Now Ghost looked to be like an old guy in his fifties or sixties, but as a skeleton with a Texan, but with a rough sounding voice. It was kind of fruity in some cases. And the Engineer looked like he was mentally handicapped, yet always had a genuine smile on, compared to Neon who always looked like he had a smile on always to kill you, and he wore blue overalls with some brown boots and a yellow construction hard hat on as well as some yellow gloves. (Put image here?)
Meanwhile Ghost was wearing a red bandanna scarf around his neck and a black cowboy hat on and.. uhh… that’s about aside from his wheelchair.
And the Engineer talked in tongue like a tard, where you could barely make a word out of his mouth. Yet it sounded a lot more better than whatever came out of Ghost’s mouth. Hell, I’d say the Engineer was the true talent here, probably could win the golden microphone in less than a year if he tried. All Ghost could win is the golden piss award, and he probably goes to gay bath houses and stuff. Anyways, I came across them, had some slight fun with the two of them and the Engineer won while Ghost lost and then I left. And then after TF had me running around the woods trying to get back on track on getting back to Stalia and the group that I was with died or something, I think one of them lost his son to the son drowning in the river and dying in his arms.
I forget, thumb through the pages yourself to see if I am correct. Well, I got out and started walking the train tracks again, once again all alone and even more odd characters came and found me like Pirates from another universe and their floating pirate ship, Baby and Regular Jesus telling me to Make Heaven Great Again and to build a big wall to stop the demons from coming through, a Japanese guy that was delivering a late package to me and having a big fight, and some the Orange Mafia Gang I think the name was… where a bunch of Oranges and their leader wanted to reconstruct all of my bones and turn me into an orange so I could be one of them and take over Equestria or something.
Yet one of the characters I saw was Ghost once again. This time though he was all alone, no Engineer this time around. But he had a battery operated wheelchair this time. Me and him talked, he got mad, and then he got hit by a train. Yet he still wasn’t dead. And with this next series of events that I’m about to share with you all, Ghost came back. But not on the train track again, but to Stalia, the “little” town that I lived in that lived in the shadow of Ponyville that was right across from it with the Everfree Forest right in between. Eyup… Anyways, this is the story of a Texan skeleton hambone in a wheelchair named Ghost. And you could say the story was just beginning… if you were a faggot…
So where do I begin with this one? Oh, I’ve got it, how about when Ghost first arrived in Stalia and found me. So, it was the dawn of a new day. Celestia’s sun was out and the birds were chirping away while everyone in the town of Stalia was going about their day.
Everything was fine. It was like any normal day with the kids out playing and the adults going to work. There were some clouds in the sky, but nothing worthy of note however. Everyone was minding their own business and nothing serious was happening in the town of Stalia. It was just like any other ordinary day… well at least for the first half of it of course. By the time mid day had come and the Sun was at its highest point in the sky… I think. Maybe it could have gone higher but maybe the sun didn’t wanted to go above and beyond . Lazy bastard.
Anyways, it was the middle of the day, the guys were doing their own thing and Wolf had left the library. Usually he sticks around since he’s a lazy piece of shit most of the time. And I mean a piece of shit in a friendly, male bonding kind of way in case you couldn’t take the hint. He was just you know… didn’t get off his lazy wooden ass is all. Anyways, it was a weekend so I kind of slept in. Then again I can always sleep in since it’s not like I have a job other than being the librarian that no one ever visits. Seriously, the kids don’t know what that kind of a place is. They just go out and play with sticks and beat zebras with it. I think that’s the hip thing to do nowadays. Am I right that the kids go out and beat zebras with a stick?
No… no that’s not right. My bad, they go out and beat old people for sheckles. I mean it’s either that or mow their lawns and kids aren’t going to do that nowadays. They just take blue birds and green frogs, tie some kind of little message to them and send them to their little friends. Kids have no morals these days I tell you. And next thing you know, these kids are going to be socializing through some kind of book, face to face.
But don’t worry, I got an idea that’ll get these kids back up and socializing the correct way. I have some kind of Chute, although it’ll take a bit or something in order to use it. But the kids will come around. They always do… otherwise I’ll have to go with the backup plan and find four chans. That way everyone can do it and no one will know it is them. Just got make sure that anime bear doesn’t come out of the bushes is all… the fucker lives in all of our souls don’t you know. It haunts you, stares at you, waiting to strike one day. But you see back in my day…like a couple of years ago, we didn’t have sticks and green little frogs… we had tubes, and it was you who made the tubes work.
Hell, the inter… connections… of a net is nothing but a series of tubes after all. Anyways, point is I don’t have to work as hard as anyone else because my job is to just be here in case anyone wants to check out a book. And no one ever comes. But at least I’m not the one responsible for the newspapers at least. That guy is fucked with tons of un-read paper. He’s just buried with it in his own home and no one has heard from him in seven months. He’s probably dead by now, but no one cares.
Anyways, I slept in until like eleven o’ clock, you can say that’s weird or that I’m some kind of lazy fuck, but you can’t blame, sometimes all I do at night is just stay up and enjoy the night. And then you start to hear things yet you can’t find the sources of the noises. Then it starts to get to you and... never mind, don’t mind the demons, they are just trying to fuck with you. Anyways, Wolf usually sticks around like the lazy bum that he is sometimes but as I came down the stairs, to my surprise, he was gone. And at first I had thought maybe he was trying to make something of himself… until I looked in the cupboard... that wooden fuck ate all of the cereal… and it was my cereal.
He had his cereal which was some frosted wheat crap. When I went to the store, I told him he could only have one, even though he protested against me since I was buying myself two. But I’m the one who earns the bits… from doing nothing basically and being Celestia’s personal student. He is just a tag along, my entourage, a good buddy like a faithful dog, but a leach that sticks to the side like the state of California. Seriously, that state is a literally leach. One day the San Andreas Fault line will break to where it reveals the state’s true form, a giant leach.
And that leach will then say, “You may have stopped, but I’ll be back soon. Just you wait and see.”
And then it’ll go into the mother ship and fly away to the sun when really its home is in the opposite direction. Anyways, I told him to stay out of my cereal, some fruity crap and some cheap cinnamon crap. It’s all crap and will probably give you diabetes one day, but you think anyone gives a crap? The shit tastes good. Fuck the orange juice and grits. It’s cheap, bad for your body, and it taste damn good in your mouth, just like diabetes.
Anyways, Wolf tried his cereal, said he didn’t like it and wanted mine, but I told him to fuck off, he made his bed, now he has to sleep in it… though he never does, both fugitively and literally. Anyways, it was a no brainer why he skipped out on me. And I wanted some cereal so I grabbed my black cowboy hat, my satchel that I forget half the time that is there, and headed out the door and into the town of Stalia that covered in the morning light all with a sour look on my face for I was in a sour mood at that time.
As I kicked the door open and closed it to go outside, I was mumbling underneath my breath with a pissed off look on my face, “Fucking Wolf… piece of wooden, shit eating mother fucker. Eats from my cereal will he?” And then I was out and was headed for Stalia’s Market, where the store was located that sold the goods. The legal and the illegal goods, you just had to ask for the illegal stuff in the back. Shhh, don’t tell anyone I told you that or I might get in trouble…
Anyways, I was on my way towards the market area and as I was keeping to myself and thinking of whatever was going through my head that day and as the other ponies passed me by while I still retained the unhappy look upon my brow, I came across my “friends”, the guys, the gang, whatever you want to call them, and all of them where, including Wolf, hanging out, having a good time, and were near a wall to one of the buildings nearby.
Well except for Mac, he looked like he was having a bit of a bad day. Looked like he needed some cheering up. But I wasn’t concerned about Mac’s mental state, for when I saw Wolf; I had a few words to speak to him at the time. So I walked up to him a little bit, but still giving him some room, you got to respect other’s breathing space. You don’t want to be rude when calling them names like a faggot or a little bitch. You may be rough housing, but you’re not animals. Now if you want to be an animal, then you get a gun that has ‘caliber’ in its name and start shooting up the place like its Vegas. Then you’re getting the blood pumping, then again I wouldn’t know.
But someone does. Anyway, I got up near Wolf, although he wasn’t looking in my general direction. In fact none of the guys really noticed me except for Mac, must have not been in a good mood then. And as for Wolf, he was sitting on his wooden ass on the dirt floor, but it was kind of hard, I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to describe the ground of the pony world when it isn’t concrete, but whatever.
Anyways, Wolf was just sitting on his wooden asshole, with a smile like he didn’t eat my cereal and wasn’t going to pay the consequences from it, and was talking with Jack, who was leaning against a wall, also with a smile. But not a genuine happy smile, but like a punk or an asshole kind of a smile. And for some reason both of them had black sun glasses on, like they were buddy buddy with each other. But I didn’t really care because he took my cereal, and all I knew was that some wood was going to get slapped. And not in a sexual way either, but in an ass kicking way.
So I looked towards him, weather he was looking at me when I was looking to him or not and being rude, I said to him, “Hey Wolf! You’re going to get an ass kicking!”
Wolf ignored me.
So I continued talking to him as if he was paying attention, hoping he would respond to me, “Hey asshole! I’m talking to you! What do you got to say about the cereal you ate huh!? You want to pay up now or do I have to break your wooden legs?”
He did nothing and not even moved a muscle… except for his mouth as he was continuing to talk to Jack.
I don’t know what conversations they were having, but I then tried one more time to talk to Wolf as I then said to him, “Wolf, if you don’t explain to me right now why you took my shit and didn’t take you shit, I’m kicking your ass when you get home later today. Or at the very least hear some very mean words from me. Got anything to say for yourself mister?”
And Wolf didn’t respond to me like the rude wooden asshole that he was. I get no respect I tell ya, no respect at all. And after giving it a few seconds and no response from Wolf, I squinted my eyes a little bit as I was tired a bit.
And Mac noticed and got a bit close to me, with a bit of a wide eyes, not a pissed off look, and said to me in a whisper, “I think they are being hypnotized by the aliens.”
I then said to him, “Shut up Mac.”
And because I wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with this and my stomach was a bit grumbly, I went ahead and said under my breath as I was about to move out and go to the store, “Fuck this shit, I’m going to the store. Mother fuckers…”
And as I was going to pass up the guys, Jack finally noticed me, or at the very least acknowledged my existence, stood up on all fours, all still with an asshole smile on his face and quickly whispered to Wolf about something, I think maybe “hey watch this” but when looking back it’s hard to tell.
And when that happened, he then moved towards where I was walking and blocked my path from moving any further to my destination. And as I was trying to walk, my head was looking downwards, but the moment Jack blocked me with a serious and dead look on his face, my head immediately went upwards and stared him in the face.
Jack then said to me, “So… you think you can walk past the toll without paying huh?”
I then said to Jack in my not so good mood and tone voice, “Fuck Off Jack, I’m not in the mood right now.”
Jack then said to me, “Ohhhh… we have a tough guy over here.”
I then said to him, even though I didn’t always show it, or mean it sometimes, “I mean it Jack, fuck off or else.”
And the guys, who were looking towards our direction and smiling, just watching it as everything unfolded. And Forrest in particular even gave a slight chuckle that I could hear, like he was enjoying the show a bit, like this was all some kind of joke and that I wasn’t in on it because I was supposed to be the punch line.
Although Mac still had a pissed off look, I guess someone must have pissed in his cereal that morning. But somewhere off in the far, yet not too far distance however, the wheels on a wheelchair was rolling on by, somewhat on a fast pace as if the rider of the wheelchair was in a hurry to be somewhere.
Anyways, Jack then said to me, “So you think can just waltz on over here and walk on by without paying your dues huh?”
I wasn’t catching on as to what he was even talking about and the looks on the other guy’s faces wasn’t helping me much and I wasn’t in the mood to think it through and think about context. I just wanted to get a move on with my day.
But I did give in a little bit and shook my head a little bit like I had just saw something that was from my imagination, and said to Jack with an annoyed and pissed off combo look on my face and said to Jack, “You fucking asshole. What the hell are you two doing anyways?”
Jack then dropped the tough guy act for a bit and had a little smile on his face, more like a smirk still, and said to me while pointing to Wolf with his head, “Oh it’s nothing. That bundle of sticks over there is just helping me with a little side gig that I came up with earlier today.”
Jack then proceeded to move his right hoof around while continuing explaining what was happening between him and Wolf with a bit of a sly in his voice, “I’m making decent bits with my job, but I figured I could get more by having other to pay a toll to pass a certain section of Stalia. But it’ll just be me, but I figured that useless firewood over there could help me out by standing guard on the other part of town, and in turn I promised him a five percent cut and a six pack. I’m just showing him the ropes. And the best part, he didn’t negotiate. Shows how much of him is made of wood in the head.”
Wolf had heard what he had said, but did not say a word as he was being insulted by Jack. But then again I don’t think he really cared, give him alcohol, he’ll look the other way. Even if it’s a genocide. But after Jack was done talking to me, there was a few seconds of silence.
But after those few seconds were up, Jack then said to me without me saying anything in return, “So with that being said, pay up or else I’m going to break your legs.”
I then said to him somewhat blankly, but having my eyes drift to the side a bit with a bit of a ‘I don’t care’ look on my face, right before looking back at him properly, “Yeeeeaaahhh… no… I’ll see you later Wolf, you fucking free loader.”
I then started to walk around Jack and went past him and went about my day and my own business like nothing had happened.
But Jack wasn’t done with my yet as he then noticed that I walked past him without paying up, so he went over to Wolf with a slight smirk on his face still and said to him while putting his face a bit close to Wolf’s face, “Watch and learn…”
And then Jack then looked over towards me or at least towards my back, sort of my pony ass as I was walking away from him. And then he somewhat swiftly came up towards the backside of me and put me in a headlock and turned me towards the other direction that I was walking away from.
From that point on, my face went from annoyed; to pissed off with a bit of an angry tone in my voice as I immediately said to Jack, “What the fuck are you doing? Fucking let go of me Jack!”
While I was pissed, Jack still had the smirk on his face, like we were roughhousing or something and that he was just playing around, in Jack’s case, that might have been half right, but only towards me. It was like in a friendly way, but in asshole-ish kind of way if that makes any sense to you.
Anyways, as Jack was holding me in a head lock and the other guys looked at us and sort of enjoyed watching the two of us getting at it with each other, that wheelchair off in the distance was suddenly starting to get closer, as the crackling of the wheelchairs that sounded similar to a bicycle was starting to near and become louder for all to hear.
Meanwhile, I was trying to break out of Jack’s little headlock that he had put me in as he had put his whole left forearm around the back of my neck while he was trying to pull me towards his direction as he was saying to me, “So are you going to pay up or what?”
Again, the sounds of a wheelchair and someone pushing the wheelchair towards our direction was getting louder and closer by the second, not that we noticed it or anything at that time, but looking back, it wasn’t too far off from our original position that day. Anyways, back to me and Jack, I was trying to take my right forearm and trying to break loose of Jack’s hold.
But he had a good grip on me as I said to him, “I’m not going to give you shit! Now let go of me!”
But the sounds of a rolling wheelchair came ever so near us. And it wasn’t stopping anytime soon, just growing.
As my head was sort of hanging down a bit as Jack had put a bit of his weight on the back of my neck, he said to me, “You either pay the toll or you get the Goll!”
But the wheelchair though, it was still coming in fast, in fact, faster than I think anyone could have imagined.
As for me though, I then said to Jack, “What the fuck is a Goll!?”
But the wheelchair was closing in our position. There would be no way out of it even if we had wanted to leave by that point. Our fate had been chosen that day that would forever cause a ripple in time for us all, almost like it was the start of a little cause and effect that never ended, even though that may not have been true. But still, it was the beginning of something more bigger than ourselves and more than what we could have ever imagined.
Anyways, Jack then explained to me as the other guys were just sitting there on their pony asses and watching, “That’s the name that I gave to the crowbar that’s going to break all four of your legs if you don’t cough up the money, bitch!”
And then before you know it, fate had arrived for us. And it was in the form of a skeleton hambone in a wheelchair that also wore a cowboy hat and probably had some kind of personal problems. We didn’t know what was in store for us that day forward, but we didn’t expect it would come from the most unexpected of places and sources. But to clarify the wheelchair had rolled up to us, rather behind us. We didn’t notice it, the guys that were watching didn’t notice, not even Wolf as he was watching me getting annoyed didn’t notice. He was a bunch of wood after all, which makes me question him sometimes.
Anyways, the skeleton in the wheelchair had rolled up behind us, yet none of us paid any attention as me and Jack continued our little struggle as I had said to him, “Get off of me or else I’m going to kick your ass! I know some Asian shit!”
I don’t think the guys caught on to what I was saying, and it was kind of half true too. I kind of knew some Asian moves, but just barely as TK was rough with me during those early training days that I had with him. But that’s for another time.
But as I was struggling to get out of the headlock that Jack had me in, that was all solved as we were interrupted by a mysterious, yet familiar sounding voice that sounded a bit deep and sort of villainous sounding tone saying to us, “I’ve finally found you…”
And then from that point on, all of our attention went towards the voice that was behind us. Although I was the first one to look up to see who it was and recognize who it was. It was Ghost… Ghost from the train tracks.
And after Jack had let go of me and the guys were looking in my direction, my angered look turned into one that looked like I had just seen a ghost and I said to myself in a low tone, “Uh oh…”
Ghost then said as his face remained in shadows and his features appeared hidden from our eyes, as he was also looking a bit villainous in my eyes. You know, cause he was dressed all in shadows, and he was looking downward a bit as well, like he had a fedora on or something, which he didn’t… he had a black Texan cowboy hat on instead. Kind of like my hat, but with more Texan in it. Anyways, he was looking a bit villainous to me, even if he didn’t intend to come off like that.
Well, Ghost then said to me, “After all this time, these long, unwinded, God forsaken time, I have finally found you.”
I started to get a little nervous as the last time I saw Ghost, I left him to get hit by a train back on the train tracks.
Ghost continued to say, “I have been looking for you everywhere I went. I couldn’t find you until today.”
My body was started to shake as my eyes remained wide. My mind was wondering what was going to happen as Ghost remained in the shadows, talking to me and the guys, but specifically towards me. But the guys on the other hand, they just stood there, a bit confused as to who Ghost was, so I was the odd one out that knew that was going on while the guys remained in the dark.
Ghost continued to tell me, “You left me on those train tracks, alone… and forgotten…”
He had said it in such a way that it sounded like he wanted revenge. That he was going to give me a beating of a lifetime and that I was going to get it. But come on, it was a joke, all a big joke. Can’t we just laugh it all off? Huh? Ha…. Ha ha…. Hahaha… But I remained shaking where I stood, not sure what to do if he had made a move towards me.
Ghost continued to say to me, “When I saw you, even the first time, I knew I found it. I knew I finally found the golden jackpot, to find the right ones to play with…”
I was starting to sweat a little bit. The way how he didn’t finish his sentence and him metaphorically giving three dots (…….) was like a gripping cliff hanger to me, leaving me on the edge of wondering what was going to come next from him. Will it be words or a force to be reckoned with?
And TK wasn’t around to help me out if shit went south, so it would be just me and the guys, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle it if it was too much trouble that occurred.
But Ghost finished his little talk and finishing his cliff hanger to me and said, “Now I get to play with you, to toy with you.... let me ask you... Are you ready? Are you ready to play a game… the game of… “
And then Ghost paused for effect. He was teasing all of us with the guys just looking confused and waiting for Ghost to finish his talk. Jack though looked a little annoyed cause it was eating up his time to collect money from his little toll scam business that he had started. And Neon was still smiling like a psychopath like always, but still. But for me, it was a tease the most of all. And waiting what Ghost was going to finish off with, what his message to me was killing me on the inside. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I was starting to get scared, what was I was going to do? What would happen to me? A lot of stuff was going through my head. But Ghost, he remained pause in his words for a good few seconds.
But then Ghost finally spoke up and said with a surprise upbeat tone as all around him everything changed into bright, beautiful colors and Ghost’s face lit up, “GUESS THE MINORITY!!!”
Ghost had said with such a happy and enthusiastic tone in his voice as he spread his right arm a full one eighty as to the right of him, stuff appeared.
That stuff: three podiums with a red button on all of them, a big score board with another board that was a sign with bright small little light bulbs that spelled the word ‘Guess the Minority’, all the while a game show music theme played by what sounded like a big band started to play from out of nowhere somewhere in the background that sounded oddly like The Price is Right theme song, very loudly I might add. And it came from the sky and it looked it just appeared in thin air.
I don’t know, maybe Ghost had some Pegasi drop it like the bombs from Japan and into that exact area at that right time, We weren’t paying attention, even when looking back it makes no sense. But yet it appeared, like if we had just stepped on to a set.
All the while the Engineer came walking on set, clapping continuously and saying, “YAAAAAAAY!!!” while still wearing his yellow workers hat and blue jean overalls.
The Engineer was also kind of taller than us, like around the same height as an Alicorn or something like that. Human height is kind of weird compared to being in a body of pony in this universe you know. Honestly I’m used to the height and I never noticed the difference by now. Same thing with Ghost, but because he was in a wheelchair, he was about eye level to us, so it was like he was a midget with stubby legs or some shit like that.
And as Engineer was walking from what looked like out of nowhere, or stage left, Ghost was saying as he was moving his arms up and down while making a fist, giving a big smile, and closing his skeleton eye holes… somehow…, “YES! YES!! YES!!! I love this game man! I win every time! I’M THE CHAMP AT THIS GAME!”
We were all confused as we were all looking at each other, yes, even me after calming down, as well as Wolf, and not sure what was going on here as we had expected a big adventure or a formidable enemy to fight or something like that. You know something that would take a trilogy or possibly a saga to finish, sort of like an arc of sorts.
Maybe it might lead us to some secrets and meet new and interesting people or whatever. But instead we just stood there confused, yet we just shrugged it off and rolled with it. It’s not like we’ve seen anything weird before. We have Neon…
Anyways, after Ghost was finished with him, I don’t know… sperging out, I asked Ghost with a raised eyebrow while lifting my right hoof upward a bit and tilting my head to the side just a tad, “ So you’re not upset that I left you at the train tracks then?”
Ghost then said with slight smile on his face, while the Engineer went and stood right next to him and looking like a happy tard, “Well while I’m still pissed that you let me get run over by the train, I’m happy that I found someone to play this fun game with!”
Jack then removed his sunglasses and tossed them to the side while the sound of a cat screaming occurred like it always does when you throw something to the side and don’t see where it lands, giving me a mix between a pissed off look and a curious look and asked me, “What the fuck did you do to meet this gay ass faggot?”
Ghost then spoke out loud while pointing a finger at him, while looking a bit offended towards Jack’s statement towards him, “For your information, I’m a baguette, not a poz hole.”
After Ghost had said that to him, Jack then just eyed him for a bit, that kind of eyes that asks you, “Are you fucking for real or what you lazy ass faggot?”
Or something to that level…
Anyways, Ghost then went on to ask all of us, “So what do you guys say? You want to play a few rounds of GUESS THE MINORITY?!”
And as Ghost spoke those last three words, a disembodied audience applauded and cheered, as if a mysterious forth wall of viewers were watching us and was anticipating for some new contestants for the game show for their entertainment.
With that being said, Wolf then stepped forward a bit and said to Ghost with a weird smile, almost in a sarcastic kind of a smile on his face and said to him, “Well that sounds fun and all, but us “FRIENDS” would rather get back to doing real stuff and…”
However Jack then quickly cut him off while Jack raised his head up a little bit while rubbing his chin a bit, with an odd curious look on his face, “So is there a reward for winning?”
Towards the end, Jack pointed towards Ghost, curious to see what his answer would be.
Ghost then said to Jack with a smiling face on and in a cheery mood while also pointing back to him, “Well if you’re the champion at the end of the game, then YES, you will win something BABY!”
Jack then said with a slide side smile on his face with a look of determination with a hint of sly, “Then I’m in.”
He then moved his eyes over to us as we looked back with a bit curious and said, “So what do you say, you losers in or out?”
Mac then raised his hoof with also a look of determination on his face and said, “I’m in it too! This way I will win the prize and Applejack won’t win diddly squat! Yee Haw!”
When he said the ‘yee haw’ he jumped up, closed his eyes and had a little smile on his face! I don’t know why he said that, it’s not his usual saying, but he is the farmer or southern type that would own a bunch of blacks and make them to make him some lemonade from his lemon tree farm… or apples… he could also make them make him some apple juice. Working on the farm… picking them apples…
Anyways, I then looked at both Jack and Mac real quick and gave a little shrug and said, “Fuck it, might as well join in. I’M IN!”
Wolf was then irritated by our decision as he looked to all of us and then moved his left paw in expression and said to us, “OH COME ON YOU GUYS!? Can’t you see this Jew here is trying to Jew you and scamming you!?”
We just ignored Wolf; most on the guy’s minds was the prize. Ghost never specified what the prize was, but we could only imagine and dream what it could be.
Perhaps a crown, some jewels, a new piece of fancy technology that you would then have to pay taxes on later to the IRS, so you get pissed off that you won so you go home, get your gun and your bat, head down to the IRS and then start shooting up the place, but it turns out no one is there and you find out that the IRS don’t exist at all and it was all your imagination this entire time and that we were sending our money to some crack addicted hobo named Hunter or something. So you feel like a fool, go home, wax your carrot one more time and end your life… you know that kind of prize.
Anyways, after we ignored Wolf, he looked disgruntled, and without much of a fit, he turned around, looked back at us and said quietly to himself, “I’ll be back…,” and walked away and out of sight… for now…
Ghost then had said to us after Wolf had left us, “Aright then! Well, Let’s get this game started then!”
Even though the other three didn’t give their consent, our consent was all that they needed to know that they were all in as well. So Mac, me, and Jack, in that order, walked over to the three podiums and took our places, ready to play GUESS THE MINORITY!
And the podiums on closer inspection were made of fine dark brown wood, and were tall enough for us to stick our heads over and then some.
Well, once we were all in our positions and Ghost then said to all of us while raising his left arm high in the air in excitement, “Then let’s get ready for round one!”
Ghost then looked over to the Engineer with glee and asked him, “Put the PC shot on Engineer”
The Engineer then said while holding a little grey box with a red button on it and pushing that said red button, “duuh ahhh ahh AHAHHHAAAHHAAAAAA!!”
And then the Engineer pushed the button and the board behind us changed a little bit while putting our names on the board with a number under that name, pretty much our score, and underneath that was the words in big comic sans, ‘ROUND 1: GUESS THE VOICE’ in big bold letters, in that lovely… lovely… comic sans… ha…
All at the same time, the mysterious invisible audience somewhere in the fourth wall background was clapping and cheering. And of course we had our heads turned around, looking back at the board every now and then trying to see what the score was throughout the round, sometimes with a curious or pissed off look on our faces. Anyways, Ghost started the first round of Guess the Minority.
So Ghost said to us as the magical background music and audience finally calmed down, I know… that long, and after the invisible audience gave a quick applause, waiting for the game to start, “Alright then contestants! Welcome to Round one of Guess the Minority!”
The invisible audience said that last three words in unison with Ghost as Ghost looked out into the fourth wall.
Ghost continued to explain to us, “For our first round of contestants, we have Mac Farmer!”
The fourth wall audience than gave a cheer while Mac waved a little bit to the invisible audience.
Ghost then said, “Next, we have Knight!”
The audience then from beyond the fourth wall applauded for me, but all did in response was just staring in front of me cause it was weird seeing no audience yet there was somehow, just in another plain of existence I suppose that we couldn’t reach, yet maybe we could have reached if we tried hard enough.
Next, Ghost then said, “And finally Classy Jack!”
And then the audience was applauding for him as Jack just had a mean looking grin on his face, like he was ready to beat all of us and win the grand prize of the game show.
Ghost then explained to us after the audience had died down, “In the first round, we’re going to take it easy and simple. For this round, all you have to do is guess which voice belongs to which minority. No multiple choices in this game, so you can give any answer. All you have to do is be the first one to push the button in front of you, and whoever buzzes in first gets to answer first. But if you fail to answer, the point goes to the next one who buzzes next. But if all three of you fail, then no one gets the point and we move on to the next voice. So is everyone ready?”
And in sort of unison, but not really, we all nodded our heads and gave a ‘yup’ and a ‘yeah’.
Ghost then said, “Well let’s get started then! Let’s start off easy. Play the first voice Engineer”
The Engineer pressed the red button and the first voice suddenly played from out of nowhere just like the audience. The first voice was a deep sounding voice, but with a trash kind of ghetto tone.
The voice said, “Mah Keeeeeeeeeeeds baby!”
I had a feeling which minority it was, but Ghost seemed to have been from earth or some version of earth, and I didn’t want to blow my cover on the whole human thing, so I just had some shifty eyes and kept my head low and lost the point on purpose. But then again I don’t think the guys cared and thought that I could just say the equivalent to what I was thinking. Come on, be honest here, we are all thinking of it in our heads… even you… just admit.
Anyways, Me, Mac and Jack all buzzed in at the same time and we all yelled out, “A Zebra!”
Ghost, with a little confused look on his face while scratching the top of his skull, “Ziggers? I meant Niggers… GOD DAMN IT! YOU TROLLS MADE ME SAY IT! NOUGH! NOUGH! NOUGH!”
And as he was saying ‘nough’, he was kicking his legs around and flaring his arms around while invisible cans were being kicked around.
But then after a bit of him calming down, he then said to us calmly while looking kind of cynical, “Close enough, you all get a point.”
And then we all got a point, a good way to start off the game show. Everyone wins, a metaphorical participation trophy, but it was an easy guess, let’s be honest here. And so the score on the score board behind was 1 – 1 – 1.
Ghost then yelled, “Engineer! Bring out the second voice!”
The Engineer then pushed the big red button again and the second voice played.
The second voice said in a weird, nasally, wimpy tone, but with a bit of an accent, “Hey man, I’ll wash your car for a penny. Mmmmmmm that cactus was gooooood senior…”
I then quickly pressed my button as the buzz sound came on and yelled out, “That’s got to be a Nevadan!”
Ghost then said with a little smile like a good host that he was on his face, “Ooo sorry, that was wrong. But we’ll count it as an honorable mention since you were close.”
Mac and Jack then buzzed in both at the same time; both with a little smile on their face, but both gave slightly different answers.
Mac had yelled out, “The ponies from down under!”
Jack had said along with Mac’s answer, “The Mexonies!”
And then after that, Ghost said out loud, “That’s correct!”
And then both Mac and Jack got a point and the score now was 2 – 1 – 2. Ghost then said, “Play the final voice Engineer!”
The Engineer then pressed the red button and the final voice played.
The final voice played, it was a kind of obvious as the voice said, “Bing Bong Ching Chong Motha Fuckas! Me So Horney Motha Fuckas! You Equestrian Motha Fuckas think you are smat… but we will own you motha fuckas very soon, and you’ll be taking odas from uuuussss… oh no… nooooo I ate a very bad egga roll… aaaawwwww …. Ohhhhhh…”
That last part also had some farting sounds, like the diarrhea sounds as it sounded like the voice was trying to take a shit.
But truth be told, I wasn’t fast enough to buzz in as once again, both Mac and Jack both buzzed the button in both at the same time. Jack’s answer this time was, “Japonies!”
And Mac said, with an ok look on his face, “The fuckers who tried to buy my farm!”
And then Ghost with a big smile on his face then said, “And that answer is correct! You get the point Mac! And that means you are the winner of this round!”
Mac had a big smile on his face like he was an innocent child that had won some free candy, as some confetti from somewhere rained down upon him a little, all the while the invisible audience was applauding him somewhere beyond the fourth wall. As for me and Jack, I looked towards him with a weird look on my face, but Jack looked over towards him with a pissed off look as he was trying to win the prize from the game. And the final score behind us for round one was 3 – 1 – 2.
And with that being said, Ghost then said to Mac, “This means you’ll be going to the final and third round and play the winner from Round Two for the grand prize! Congratulations Mac!”
And with that, we all moved off the podium, with Jack looking down at the ground while walking being all pissed off and shit.
And as we were walking off in the same direction that we came on to the stand, Ghost said, “Bring on the next contestants!”
And so the other three guys came on to the stage, with Neon, Arrell, and Forrest walking on to the stage and taking their places where we stood in that order, with the score resetting to 0 – 0 – 0 and the round changing to ‘Round 2: The Lightning Speed Round.’
And before Ghost announced the second round, Ghost turned around and moved his wheelchair away from Neon and the others.
And he looked to the fourth wall and looked at the audience beyond the fourth wall while holding up a microphone to his face for some reason, a little too close I might add, and said, “Before we continue with today’s game show, Guess the Minority is brought to you by today’s sponsor, Soul Shining Toothpaste.”
Ghost then proceeded to from what was also out of nowhere, grab a light green toothpaste tube that had a picture of a drawing of a little 1950’s style boy smiling with a thumbs up like it was from Fallout or something.
And he held it horizontally to the fourth wall and continued to talk, “Soul shining Toothpaste provides excellent protection against tooth decay, cavities, the aids after giving a blowjob, yes even to you homos, and many, many other diseases that don’t even exist yet. It’s that good of a toothpaste, but it is only recommended for ages 13 and up cause if little Billy gets into this for his teeth, well… he’s going implode and die a slow and painful death.”
Ghost was keeping a strong and market friendly smile throughout him advertising the toothpaste.
Ghost continued to speak, “So remember, whenever you are ever out at the Supermarket, looking for some more toothpaste cause your last toothpaste gave you aids instead of protecting you from it, look for Soul Shining Toothpaste, cause you need to keep your soul clean, and your teeth are your soul.”
Ghost then smiled and showed his big bright, a little yellow, teeth to the fourth wall and said, “Once again, Guess the Minority is brought to you by Soul Shining Toothpaste”
And as he was saying this, I was looking over at Jack with a little worried and confused look on my face and I asked Jack as he gave me an ok look on his face, “Who the hell is he talking to?”
And Jack looked towards me and just shrugged, cause Ghost was talking to no one, to fucking air… yet somehow, beyond the mythical fourth wall, he was talking to someone and we just couldn’t see it, nor could anyone see it.
Anyways, Ghost then put the toothpaste away and by throwing it to the side, along with some random cat noise as it happened, and Ghost continued to stare into the fourth wall and say, “Now a little heart to heart with you guys for a moment. Now I know it seems that we get a little raunchy and edgy on the game show here, but everyone here at Guess the Minority would like to remind you that everything that we say and do on here are all in good fun.
‘In fact I’m a melting pot of friendship that just happens to have many friends that happen to be black, WOPs, Muck Shoveling Micks, Wetbacks, Kikes, Crackers, Mexican, Towel Heads, Chinks, Indians, Red Skinned, Mexicans of the North who make fake bacon, and many more on the Diversity Rainbow. Hell, even where I live, there happens to a lot of Mexicans walking out there. So sit back, especially for you that are home, have a good laugh with us, and relax, cause we are all a melting pot of friendship as we are all on the rainbow.”
Ghost then gave a big ol’ smile and a wink with his right eye and turned his wheelchair around to head back near the second round of contestants.
MEANWHILE, ABOUT 50 FEET FROM THE SET OF GUESS THE MINOIRITY…
So while that was going on, Wolf was sitting at a nearby Café and was sitting in one of the chairs and near a table with a glass of beer in it, that was part of the outside sitting of the place.
And as he was sitting on his wooden ass, eyeing us from afar, and squinting like he was keeping an eye on us and was suspicious of us, as he was drinking and was a little bit drunk he started to speak and said in a cynical tone, “Look at those traitor mother fuckers. Every single one of my friends abandoned me. How dare they leave me like that? We were friends damn it! And it’s all because of that Ghost fuck right there, that skeleton looking hambone milky licker right over there. I don’t like that Ghost fucker over there. Only if there was a way to get my friends back. Hmmmm…”
Wolf started to make a thinking look on his face, and then after a quick few seconds of thoughts floating around in his little wooden head that was also made out of wood, he slowly started to form a little smirk on his face, an evil looking smirk almost like from the Grinch. The Jim Carry one, not the Brit Bong one, and that indicated that he had an idea form right into his little greedy mind of his.
And he said out loud to himself, “I’ve got it….”
And soon he had a bit of shifty eyes while retaining his smirk and got off his seat and walked away… without paying for the beer, that cheap wood mother fucker.
BACK TO GUESS THE MINORITY…
Ghost was just about ready to start off the next round, as he stood in front of the second round of contestants.
Ghost said to all of us and to the fourth wall audience, “So for the first one, we had Knight come out in third place at one point. Jack then came out in second place for a total of two points. And Mac, the winner from the last round came out on top with three points in total. Who is going to win this round?”
As Ghost had mentioned Jack was number two, Jack was throwing a little hissy fit as he was a little pissed for losing and not winning the prize as he said to me, “This is bullshit. Mac cheated and rigged the game!”
But no one really paid any attention to him, but once Ghost had announced that Mac was the winner, the Engineer gave a round of applause to Mac and went ‘Yaaaaaaaaaay.’
Anyways, Ghost then continued to talk and said, “This is going to be an exciting round for our new contestants. For this round, we have Neon Party!”
And then the fourth wall audience applauded a bit while Neon just stood there, staring as if he could see the audience right in front of him, and knowing him, he probably could see them and their souls maybe.
Ghost then said, “Arrell!”
The fourth wall audience then applauded once more as Arrell just smiled as he looked in direction of where the audience sound was coming from and rolling with it.
And Ghost then said, “And finally Forrest Fire!”
And then the fourth wall applauded once again. Forrest was just having his shy look on his face while still maintaining a smile and waving a bit.
Ghost continued to say, “And they are going into the Lightning Speed Round! All three of them will have to answer which minority it is from just three words that I say within three seconds. And we’re going to be moving a little quick on this one, so I hope you can all keep up!”
Neon then blurted out, “Let’s burn them all!”
Ghost then said with a bit of enthusiasm in his tone, “That’s what I like to hear from the contestants! LET’S SPREAD IT AROUND LIKE WILDFIRE! WOOOOOOO! Let’s get this round started shall we…”
And so the next round began, and no one knew who was going to win this one so it was a little intense.
Ghost then yelled out to the Engineer, “Go ahead Engineer and put the PC Shot on!”
And so the Engineer then said, “Ahhhhhh ahhh ahhh ahhhh!”
And then he pressed the red button to let the voice clips go for three seconds each and to start the speed round.
The first voice came up and it said, “Fried Chicken Baby!”
Neon then buzzed in quickly blurted out, “A Papa bear bigfoot!”
Then he got the wrong buzz sound in which case Arrell buzzed in all with a smile, just like Neon, and Forrest too I guess, and said, “A Zebra… I think…”
Arrell seemed a little uncertain with his answer, as it reflected it on his face when he said the last two words.
But once Ghost said, “Correct,” Arrell’s face turned back into a happy one while Neon didn’t change at all… never ever ever never ever…
Anyways, the score was 0 – 1 – 0 and the next voice automatically played and the voice said, “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…”
Forrest then buzzed in with three seconds to go and said with a hopeful smile that he would get this one right, “Is it a Zebra?”
But then Ghost said to him, “Wrong.”
And Forrest then immediately had a disappointing look on his face, as he was hoping that he had gotten it right, but he was not too far off as Arrell then buzzed in with his answer and blurted out while raising his left hoof up in the air, “a Tyrone!”
Ghost then said to him “Correct!” as Arrell had a smile throughout. The score that was also on the board behind them was now 0 – 2 – 0.
The next voice then played and it said, “Allah Ack Bar!”
Neon then just blurted out, not even buzzing in so he wouldn’t get the point to begin with even if he was right, but he blurted out anyways, “A bomb that’s on a bus going at forty five miles per hour in Sans Chicago Land that kills three hundred piggies!”
But of course he got it wrong with the wrong answer sound in the background… from somewhere… and Arrell buzzed in and said, “The Muzzies!”
Ghost then told him while giving him a thumbs up, “Correct!”
The score now was 0 – 3 – 0, starting to get a bit intense, but was still anyone’s game.
The next voice played and it said, “Shit it down!”
Forrest then buzzed in with his answer and said with still a hopeful smile on his face, hoping that he could win still, while pointing towards Ghost a little bit with his right hoof at him, “Is it a Griffon?”
Ghost then said while shaking his head, “Nope, sorry, incorrect!”
Arrell then buzzed in quickly before the time was up, but with still a smile, although it quickly turned into an uncertain look on his face while answering, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s called a Jew? A Jewony or something like that?”
Ghost then said while Arrell got the correct sound somewhere in the background, “Correct! Either answer that you have said would have worked. We would have also accepted Sheckle Goblin.”
Forrest had a sad look on his face, he was hoping to win this game, maybe even win the grand prize for his papa or something. The score now on the board was 0 – 4 – 0.
The next voice that played said… well it wasn’t a voice. All it was just the sounds of the ovens… for three seconds… it sounded like it was at four hundred and fifty degree Fahrenheit too.
Anyways, Neon blurted out, not even buzzing in like the others did, “I’ll take Musical Remixes for 333. What is One Fish, Two Fish, I’m Jewish!?”
Obviously not the right answer, and Ghost said in response to Neon as he got the wrong answer sound in the background, “Uhhh.. wrong and uhhhhh… wrong game show…”
Arrell then buzzed in and said, with an uncertain look on his face as this one stomped him as he said while rubbing his head with his left hoof, “Uhhhh… I might be wrong on this one, but the Natives?”
Ghost then said to him while the approval sound was played, “Close enough, we’ll take it! This is a double answer question with two different answers. We were specifically looking for either Jews, or the other two alternatives to Jews, or Indian. Or if you were sensitive, Native American.”
Forrest then blurted out, “I thought it was the Buffalos?”
Ghost then said, “I guess that could have worked too, a bit muh cob, but acceptable. Next one!”
The score now was 0 – 5 – 0.
The next voice played and this time it was an actual voice and it said, “Me so Horny!”
And this time both Arrell and Forrest buzzed in as they were leaning forward and quick to do so.
And so, without wasting a micro second, Forrest raised his right hoof forward and yelled out in a hurry fashion, “A pony from Japony!”
Arrell, while looking a bit frantic and pointing over towards Forest while still remaining eye contact with Ghost, “Yeah! What he said!”
And once they had given their answers, Ghost said, “You both are correct! We would have also accepted Little Yellow People or Rice Eaters.”
And once the correct sound went off, both Arrell and Forrest had smiles on their faces, specifically Forrest as this was his first point. A smile returned to his face and in his eyes looked like he had hope, and perhaps there was a chance that he could win this game and be in the finals. The dreams and possibilities were endless to him, all he had to do was fly. But that was all about to be crushed as the final round, although not announced, was coming up. The score now was 0 – 6 – 1.
The final voice said “Milk is good” in such a low tone, in a deep male voice.
And so Neon once again blurted out while pointing to Ghost with his left hoof, “You!”
Ghost then said, “Uhhh… can you be more specific?”
Neon then said, “The Red M logo smells my ass everyday! We’re all going to die and be resurrected into the plain of non-existence!”
Ghost then said to Neon, “Uhhhhh… ok… Arrell, you want to take the point?”
Arrell, without having to buzz in cause Ghost said so, all the while he was leaning on the podium with his right pony shoulder while waving his left hoof around, while rolling his eyes and then eventually looking to Ghost towards the end of his answer, said, “This one sounds tough but uhhhh… a skeleton? Are they even a race?”
Ghost then yelled out with a smile while jumping his wheelchair up and down a bit and having his eyes closed, “And that is correct! Arrell is the winner of Round Two!”
Ghost then stopped hoping up and down and his smile went away and turned into a sour look on his face as he looked offended as to what Arrell said and said to him, “And for your information, Skeletons are a race… you racist.”
But Ghost returned to his smile once again after that quick little buzzkill and said, “But you are the winner of Round Two, with a final score of 7 , a new record I believe. You crushed the competition Arrell, all with a perfect score! You must know your minorities huh?”
And once Ghost announced the winner for round two, confetti rained on Arrell just like Mac and the audience was applauding from beyond the fourth wall.
Arrell then said while somewhat nervously, but in a happy, good kind of way, like he was kind of shy to talk and barely looking at Ghost with a little nervous smile on his face and brushing the front of his mane a bit, “What can I say? I know my animals…”
The final score was 0 – 7 – 1.
Also something I noticed while looking back at this, he didn’t have his white hat on with him. In fact he had his white hat on and off throughout the times that I’ve spent with him, weird… kind of forgot that he has one but he didn’t have it on this time around… huh… then again he doesn’t look as good as me with my hat on. It’s a sexy black hat, the special kind of hat… yeah… I’m a good looking piece of ass with my hat on. Anyways, after that statement from Arrell, the second round was over and Arrell was the winner.
And Ghost had then said to the fourth wall audience all with a smile, “The winner of this round was Arrell at seven points! Forrest won only one point, while Neon won zero points! Stay where you are at folks, cause we’re going into the finals, and it’s going to be a zinger!”
MEANWHILE, BEHIND THE SCORE BOARD ON THE SET OF GUESS THE MINOIRTY…
As all of that stuff of Arrell winning the second round and shit like that, Wolf was keeping extra quiet as he was tip toeing around near the back of the score board, which was kind of out in the open but we never noticed, and having an evil look on his face while carrying a bag of various tools that he may or may not have stolen from some other pony’s tool shed or some shit like that.
His facial features could tell you that he had an evil plot in his mind and he was about to execute that evil plot. As he was tip toeing on his wooden claw toe things, he poked out his head a little bit, to sort of take a peek to see just to make sure we didn’t notice him, and we really didn’t. Not because we wanted to do, but because we couldn’t care. And after he was done, he put his head back behind the score board and then looked over to his right, or left… from what I’m seeing it’s my right, but from his perspective his left. Whatever, from his right, there was someone there with him, trying to help him with the little scheme of his.
He said to the mysterious one, “Oh my friends will rue the day when they thought they could ignore me like that and brush me off, like my opinion doesn’t matter at all. But just like some bullied kid at a school, I’m taking out the big guns. I’m going to crash the screen on top of them, which will them disrupt the game show. And since the hambone is in a wheelchair, he won’t be able to help the guys from under the board. But I’ll be there to help out, and once I save them from sudden DEATH… they’ll thank me and will listen to what I have to say from now on. I’LL BE A GOD TO THEM! And it’ll be thanks to you with your help… Engineer…”
So the mysterious one that was with Wolf was the Engineer as he somehow skipped on the show behind Ghost’s back. But he was just standing there like he usually does with his arms kind of limping around, and having the same goofy smile on his face from like before.
Anyways, Wolf continued to speak to the Engineer and said to him, “I’m glad to have a defector from that Ghost prick from over there.”
He had said that while pointing towards the other side of the score board. And with that, the Engineer responded with, “Yaaaaaaaaaay!” while raising both his arms up and cheering a bit.
Wolf then said to him, “That’s right! You’re the real host, the real talent unlike that scuffed douchebag over there.”
Wolf was saying it all with a smug smirk on his face. The Engineer then said out loud, “Ahhhhh… Fuck him! Aaaahhh ahhhh!”
Wolf then put his right wooden paw into the tool bag and grabbed a bottle of booze and said while popping off the top with his mouth, “I’ll drink to that!”
And then Wolf started drinking like there was no tomorrow.
BACK TO THE GUESS THE MINOIRTY SET…
And so back to what was happening on the other side of the score board. Neon and Forrest were already off the stage and with the rest of us losers. Jack was still pissed off, Neon still had his creepy smile, and Forrest was hanging his head low because he had his hopes up a little high, but he was a silver lining kind of guy you know.
He was still happy that he got himself a point, but it was still disappointing to him. And as we were all lined up, pony shoulder to pony shoulder, we were all looking at the final two contestants, Arrell and Mac in that order up on stage. The middle podium was taken off the stage with the other to left and right podiums remaining up the on stage. On the score board, it only had Arrell and Mac’s names on it with their score being reset to zero. And beneath that was ‘Round 3: The Final round’ at the bottom of the board.
And as Arrell and Mac, both with smiles on their faces, took their positions on stage, Ghost rolled on in with his wheelchair with a smile as well and a mic in his right hand and parked his wheelchair in place like the previous two rounds.
From there, he looked at the audience from beyond the fourth wall and said, “And welcome back, to… the final round of GUESS THE MINOIRTY! We have our final two contestants, a battle of the winners from the last two rounds. The winner from round one, Mac Farmer!”
And then the audience from the fourth wall applauded for him as Mac waved both left and right, even though no one was there.
And then Ghost said, “And the winner from round two, Arrell!”
Arrell did pretty much the same thing, but just giving a single wave to the invisible audience and giving a little sly, charming smile.
And once the audience was done, Ghost then said, “So only one wins from this round, and the other one loses. Who will it be? We shall see… So for your final round, you will have only one question. And trust me, it’s a toughie. And it’s a riddle too. So cause of the nature of the question, you will have sixty seconds to think of your answer. And whoever buzzes in first ad gives the correct answer gets the point and wins! Are you two ready?”
Both were nodding their heads, with Mac having an interested look on his face while leaning forward on the podium and Arrell was just smiling and nodding like he was confident he was going to win. So with a few seconds of brief silence, as the tension was rising on in the air, Ghost then gave them their riddle to solve.
Ghost said to the both of them, “Alright then. Niggle me this Batman, what is thirteen and fifty both at the same time? Your sixty seconds starts… now…”
And then a clock somewhere was ticking down and you could hear the ticking sounds that was kind of loud. And as the clock was running, both Arrell and Mac were rolling their eyes, trying to figure out the answer. Arrell was rubbing his head while Mac was scratching his head with his tongue out a little. All the while, the Engineer was back in his old position, looking at Wolf who was sort of peeking out on the side of the score board, while he was drinking and working on sabotaging at the same time.
While he was holding his head back to jug the booze, he was using a hammer, hammering away at the back of the score board. Not sure if he knew that wouldn’t do anything… but he was doing something at least. But the Engineer saw this, gave him a thumbs up, while Wolf kind of saw it by the side of his eyes and did the same with his wooden paws with the one paw that had the hammer in it. And so the seconds kept ticking away, just as time does well.
And eventually, the sixty seconds were up and Ghost said, “Time’s up. Your answer?”
Arrell then quickly buzzed in before Mac could and then said, “Uhhhh… uhhhh..”
Ghost then said to Arrell, “Your answer Arrell?”
Arrell, looking a tad bit nervous then said, “Uhhh… is it Hippogriffs?”
He then gave a little nervous smile, not sure if it was the right one.
Ghost then gave a little second or two for tension, but then said to him outright, “Ooooo sorry, but that is not the answer that we were looking for. The question goes over to Mac; you can steal the point if you get this right and win!!!”
Arrell then looked like he was pissed off like Jack, but a little less obvious than Jack had made it out to be. Like he was kind of pissed, yet not really based on the look on his face.
Mac then said while leaning forward and waving his right forearm up and down constantly and yelled out his answer with an ok face on but with wide eyes, “Ziggers!”
And then Ghost looked down for effect and then said with a serious face for a few seconds, “I’m sorry Mac…. But that is CORRECT!”
He said that last half with joy and enthusiasm and a big ol’ smile on his face.
And then a little bit after that, he butted in a little comment, “I would have also taken Puerto Rican cause why the hell not, BUT YOU ARE THE WINNER MAC FARMER!”
And with that being said, the audience from beyond the fourth wall was applauding and cheering for Mac as a rain of confetti was raining down on Mac as he got out from behind the podium and up on his two back legs and was celebrating, all the while Arrell still looked a little pissed, but gave a weird look to Mac as to what he was doing.
Rewind it a few seconds right before Mac gave the right answer, Wolf was pounding away at the scoreboard, but as he was pounding away carelessly, he accidently hit a wire kind of hard, and since his hammer was made of full metal, he accidently electrocuted himself, but at the same time, at the right second as Mac got the right answer, he triggered the “You’re Winner” sign on the score board along with a poorly 3D rendered golden trophy on the screen.
After Mac had won, the Engineer then clapped and cheered for Mac as he said, “Yaaaaaay!”
All the meanwhile also from somewhere beyond the fourth wall, a big band was playing in the honor of the winner Mac Farmer, congratulating him. All the while, Mac had a surprised look on his face and he had looked happiest that he could be.
And as Mac was celebrating, Ghost rolled up to Mac in his wheelchair with a warm smile and told him, “Congratulations Mac Farmer. You are Guess the Minority’s winner today! And you also win the grand prize!”
Mac looked down at Ghost and asked, “Ob boy! What did I win?”
Ghost then said to Mac with a smile, “You win the grand prize of… TWO BITS!”
Mac then said with cheer and glee, “Oh boy! Two whole bits!? I’M RICH BABY! YEAH!”
He had jumped up when he had said that and raised his left forearm up in the air while having his eyes closed in excitement.
Mac then jumped on the ground on all four, with a tear of joy in his eyes and looking at all the fourth wall audience and said, “I would like to thank my friends for believing in me. I would like to thank the beers that I drink sometimes to get drunk and beat up my little brother that helped me educate myself. And uhhh… FUCK APPLEJACK, I’M BETTER THAN HER! YEAH… I WON! I would also like to thank the academy and…”
As Mac was giving his self gratification acceptance speech, I looked over to Jack who looked like he was calmed down from loosing while raising one eyebrow on my face and said to him, “Two bits? What a fucking Jew.”
As soon as Mac was done giving his little speech, the Engineer walked right up to Mac and handed him a little cheap, made in china, plastic trophy that read, “You win Big!” at the base of the trophy.
And as Mac was holding it with both hooves and showing it off to the fourth wall audience, Wolf was walking out dazed and confused as you could tell he was burnt a little bit from the accidental exposed electric wire, out front of stage. And as he was, he was moaning and groaning, and tried to walk to me I think, but before he could make it to Mac, he collapsed to the left of him.
And then Ghost rolled up right next to Wolf’s collapsed body, and said while doing a wheelie in his wheelchair, “Wooooooo! I love this game baby!”
And that was it, but we would see Ghost later on of course for many, many, many times and little adventures and shit like that… The End… for now…
GHOST WILL BE BACK…
The Corona Shorts: Corona's Battle For Survival Begins
Wow… you’re still here? I mean honestly I thought you would have left, but you’re still here.
I feel like I should point at you and yell out loud, “Hey look everyone! This guy is still here! Can you believe it! Ha ha ha!”
I mean wow, you got this far in this weird part of the journal, then you are something else. I don’t even know why I’m writing this part in here other than Wolf made a bet and won. I could be using this time to do the other parts of my life; yet here I am doing it. It pretty much its own thing like a spin off or something. And then for some reason I decided to follow it.
I’m not even sure which timeline it follows either… but it follows some kind of timeline and rules. And it’ll eventually come full circle back to us and Stalia and the ponies and stuff. Well since you’re here, how many of you would like for me to continue the tale of the Corona? Huh? How many...let me imagine how many hands are raised up in my mind that will be in the future when you read this journal of mine… one two, three… four… five six seven eight…. Nine…. I think I see a ten, eleven… yup I think the majority rules here.
And on top of that I think I received some mailed in votes at three in the morning at the ol’ witching hour… it’s from the witches… and they too say they want to hear some more. So sorry opposing group, better luck next time… and when I mean by next time, I mean never, it’s all rigged, fuck you, nobody loves you, suck my ass. And I don’t mean in a gay way either.
Anyways, let’s continue the Tale of the Corona!
Now let’s see, where did we leave off on last time? Oh right! So to briefly recap, the Corona had to go to the courthouse in the city somewhere to try and get the right to parent his two daughters, Ebola Chan and Corona Chan. One American, one Japanese. But then he failed, china probably had something to do with it like always, and his two daughters were taken and the Corona screamed to the heavens that he will get them back, he swears… and now that you are all aught up, let’s continue…
The Corona was screaming at the top of his lungs as he was yelling, “I Swear I’ll get you back one day. I swear I’ll see you one day. I SWEAR TO YOU LINDA, I’LL GET THEM BACK YOU BITCH!!! I’LL GET THEM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!”
And then Forrest quietly walked up behind the Corona and raised a brow with a look of worry on his face and asked the Corona, and interrupted the Corona as the Corona went dead silent, “So… can I go home now?”
The Corona stopped looking towards the heavenly sky and turned to look and stare at Forrest as Forrest just stood there. And then there was an awkward silence between as a little gust of wind on flying by.
And then after a few seconds of silence and Forrest just staring back, hoping for an answer from the Corona, the Corona said to Forrest, “Huh. Who are you? Get away from me you bum.”
The Corona even did a little pushing motion towards Forrest to try to signal him to go away like an annoying fly that won’t leave you alone, so you have to go out and murder that fly’s entire family; his wife and children and his little fly pets and burn his house down. That’ll show the fly who’s the boss. Those flying fuckers.
Anyways, Forrest was looking at him funny while he was looking a bit confused as he then explained to the Corona, “But… but I just helped you out, remember? I somehow got here through a portal that opened up and I came here against my will and I testified how you were a capable father so you can get your two daughters?”
It took a few second of more silence as the Corona looked slightly up into the air a bit, thinking, and then the Corona finally said, “Oh yeah. Well… do what I tell you to do… or I won’t open the magic portal….oooooooooooo.”
I think that last part the Corona was trying to symbolize he was waving his non-existing arms up and down while wiggling his fingers… even though somehow he has some kind of arms… that’s invisible. Don’t question it. Forrest then just stared at the Corona while giving him a look of disappointment. His eyelids were halfway down on his eyes and he lowered his body a little bit while lowering his wings and ears down as well.
He was looking a tad bit cynical like how I would you could say, (I was rubbing off on him I suppose), and he said to the Corona, “You have no idea how to get me back home do you?”
While Forrest was keeping his cynical and disappointed position, the Corona then said to Forrest while moving around a bit and giving some invisible gestures that you have to make up in your mind, “Of course I do… I-I went there before… and came back…and summoned you here… by conjuring up the spirit of Ike Turner oooooooooooooooo…”
Once again, it looked like the Corona was waving his non-existent arms up and down while wiggling his fingers towards Forrest’s face. And as soon as the Corona was done, there was silence between the two for like thirty seconds and Forrest returned to his normal, more innocent look about him and looked confused, yet curious on his face as he stared at the Corona.
He then asked the Corona, “Who is Ike Turner?”
Then there was more silence as another gust of wind came rolling on by.
And then the Corona spoke up and said, “I don’t know, I heard it from some skeleton in a wheelchair once while waking up face down in a pile of my own puke in an alley way once.”
And then there was silence between the two again for like another thirty seconds and another gust of wind from nearby. It was kind of windy where ever they were at.
And then Forrest just looked at the Corona even more confused and started to look more curious as he then asked the Corona while raising his left hoof up off the ground very slightly, “Who?”
Then the Corona ignored everything that Forrest asked him and said to him as the Corona floated or walked I guess, past Forrest and back into the courthouse as Forrest followed him with his eyes, “Come on, let’s see if those bastards from Vietnam or whatever they are. I bet they have something to do with this!”
As the Corona was walking away, Forrest gave a little silent shrug and decided to follow behind the Corona. As the two were walking back into the big main lobby with still no one else around, the Corona was kind of taking his time. And then for no reason at all, the Corona tripped over and fell on to the floor, in which case Forrest stopped as the sound of falling echoed and bounced off the marble floor and walls and ceilings.
Once the Corona fell flat on his… face… he said out loud while giving a little bit of grunts and moans, “God damn it!”
As his words echoed throughout the halls of the courthouse, he got himself back up rather quickly and continued walking towards the direction of the court room with Forrest continuing to follow not far behind. Then the Corona eventually made it to the somewhat big wooden doors of the court room that he was just previously in not long ago with Forrest catching up to him right before he opened the doors.
Once the Corona was ready, he mustered up some energy in his rounded body with thorns sticking out and kicked down the door to the court house just because he wanted to do it I guess. And only in silence, the two waltzed right back into the room that they were previously in as they did, everyone else that was in the room was gone. The judge was long gone and the Chinese man who were previously there as well were also nowhere to be seen.
The only who was still there was Steve Jones, the puppet who testified against the Corona in the court case. He was sitting on top of the witness stand, all stiff like and all by himself. He looked a little sad, yet not so much, but it was just an ol’ dummy sitting by himself… and somehow alive.
The Corona saw this, except for the dummy, and yelled out loud as it echoed in the room a bit as him and Forrest walked slowly deeper into the room itself, “Hey! Where did everyone else go?”
Forrest then started to flap his wing and lift his body from off the ground as he had wide eyes and was looking around the place and was still behind the Corona and a little bit above him.
He said to the Corona while shrugging his arms, “Maybe they were in a hurry?”
Corona then turned around a bit, kind of sideways to look at Forrest a bit and said to him, “No, that can’t be right. Go and have a look around and see what you can find. They must have left something behind.”
Forrest didn’t say anything afterwards, and instead just started to fly around the room and looking at every corner from a view as a way of saying ‘ok, whatever you say you fucking Jew.’ He probably wasn’t saying Jew in his head, but let’s be honest, if you were Forrest, you would be saying it… don’t lie…
While Forrest was flying around and searching to see if he could find of anything that might be a clue, the Corona was walking forward in between the benches where the audience would be sitting at for their entertainment… not the coliseum, but a trail. It’s either you see it on TV or go see it live and see what embarrassing punishment the guilty receive.
The Corona was walking forward, looking left and right, looking in between the seats and looking on the floor, hoping to find some of value that would help him get his daughters back, even though that would be a stretch. As the Corona was doing this, Forrest was going over the seats as well and spotted the dead body before, the old lawyer that was killed by the Chinese. It was still there, slowly rotting away and started to give off a foul smell.
And Forrest happened to spot it and said to the Corona, with a bit of a loud tone since he was a bit too high, “Hey uhhh… a dead body is just laying there… is that important? Should we be worried? Should I be worried?”
When Forrest was asking the questions, he had a curious look on his face while giving a shrug, unsure as to what to make of all of this.
But the Corona however then responded back to Forrest while continuing to look forward and away from Forrest, “That guy? Oh who cares, I’m sure he was sleeping with my ex-wife… like the cunt she is…”
And after scanning the room enough, the corona finally noticed Steve Jones was still there and sitting on the witness stand, staring at him.
And once the Corona made eye contact with him, Steve Jones raised his hand and said to him, “Hi! How ya doin’? They call me Steve Jones, my friends call me by Sloppy Joe!”
Forrest at noticed once Joe talked and then descended down near the Corona while also looking forward as the Corona was.
The Corona, while not looking, noticed Forrest was near him and said to him, “Hey, did you know that Sloppy Joe guy was still here.”
Forest then said while looking at him from the side and the Corona also looking at Forrest at the side as well, “Yeah, I noticed him the second we got in here. I thought you saw him too.”
The Corona then said, “I-I didn’t see him at all. I didn’t see him until I got closer.”
Forrest then asked the Corona, “Well why not? Is there something wrong with you?”
The Corona then said, “Yeah… yeah there is. I need some glasses. I’ve been meaning to get some but uhh… I just don’t have the money for glasses. It’s why I’m not allowed to drive… legally at least… I-I don’t want to talk about it… ok? Le-Let’s just go…”
And so the Corona slightly went ahead first and went towards Sloppy Joe while Forrest slightly followed behind him.
Once they went up to Sloppy Joe and Forrest was hovering next to the Corona, Sloppy Joe said to the Corona with a dummy smile, “Hey guys, how’s it hanging. Doing anything tonight?”
The Corona and Forrest were both silent and just stared at Sloppy Joe with a neutral look at him.
Sloppy Joe then spoke up again despite no response from the two and asked them, with still giving a dummy smile no matter what, cause he was a puppet after all, “Cause I could like maybe… hang with you guys. I’m…I’m kind of lonely now…”
Sloppy Joe started to hang his head low and continued to say, “I’m really… really lonely… I have no friends…”
And then he went on to make some whimpering sounds while he was at it.
However the Corona didn’t care and then spoke in which case Sloppy Joe’s head shot right up and said to him, “Where the hell is everybody else? Last time I was here, there was a bunch of Taiwanese here or something. Where the fuck did they go?”
Sloppy Joe then said to him, “First off, Taiwan belongs to us, it’s our little bitch. And second, they left.”
The Corona then asked, “What do you mean they left?”
Sloppy Joe then said to the Corona, “When you left the building, we celebrated a little bit for rigging another court decision like usual, we hanged a bit, and then they got on their paper dragon and left… without me…. It’s like me when I pull out early…”
That last bit, Sloppy Joe hanged his head for a few seconds, but then shot his head back up again.
The Corona then asked him, “Well… where did they go then? Maybe it’s not too late, maybe I can catch up.”
Sloppy Joe then said to him, “Fat chance, they left to go and invade Taiwan again… cause you know… it’s their little bitch.”
The Corona then said, “Damn it! I was so close!”
Sloppy Joe then said to him, “Well since you’re here, do you want to meet my son, Cracker Jack?”
Without warning, and without their consent, Sloppy Joe pulled his left arm around to his back, moved it around a little bit near his puppet asshole, and then pulled it back out while holding a smaller puppet on his left hand that looked like a normal, American like puppet with a crack pipe in its mouth. It also looked like it was on a lot of drugs and Viagra.
Cracker Jack then said in a swindling type of voice without letting the Corona or Forrest respond with a comment first, “Heya their fellas. You wanna buy a crack pipe? How about some Chinese girls? They’re not legal… Or how about a fine painting done by yours truly… 500 each of course….”
As he was pointing out these things, Cracker Joke was moving his left arm towards his ass crack like a cartoon and pulling out the items as examples. First he pulled out a crack pipe, then a smaller puppet then him that looked like a Chinese Girl that didn’t move or anything, and then he pulled out a small painting as well that looked like total dog shit.
However this was not helping the Corona at all as he then said out loud, “Enough of this!”
He had moved up a little bit when he did say that while Forrest had a little bit of a worried look on his face and moved a bit backwards when he did it.
The Corona then exploded in both Sloppy Joe’s and Cracker Jack’s face and said, “I need to find those Chinese bastards now! Or the Judge! Or my wife, or anything! I just lost my two daughters for fuck’s sake! And right now, I don’t need your little old puppet ass try to fuck with me or your son trying to sell me shit that I can’t even afford!!... although just know that if I did have the money, I would take a crack pipe… I smoked some crack back in my college days.”
Cracker Jack then said to the Corona while making a stopping motion to him with his two little puppet arms, “Woah Woah Woah… cool it with the anti-Semitism there buddy…”
And then there was silence between the two of them and neither said anything to each other.
But then Cracker Jack quickly broke that and leaned in a little bit close to the Corona and asked him while raising his right eyebrow, “You know where I can get a laptop fixed at? I swear there is nothing illegal on it. And if you do accuse me that there is, I’ll make you commit suicide.”
The Corona then said to him, “First off, lower your voice. Second, this isn’t getting me anywhere.”
And so without another word, the Corona walked around where the judge sits at and went to look around under there. There was no words being said either, not even Forrest who just hovered in mid air, slightly above the ground awkwardly, and just waiting to see if the Corona will say anything to him. However the Corona went snooping if there was anything hidden under the judge’s chair or anything at all, anything that he could scourge up that will help him in his case to get his daughters back, even if it seemed like a fool’s dream to do so.
As the Corona was doing this, Forrest slowly flew forward to Cracker Jack with a smile and then asked him, “I might take a painting. I think it looks kind of neat.”
The Corona then said to Forrest while searching and not looking at him, “Don’t encourage him.”
The Corona continued to look and look, yet he couldn’t find anything. To the Corona, it seemed like he had hit a dead end and that it was all hopeless for him.
The Corona then mumbled to himself, “Uggh… isn’t there anything here?”
The Corona, out of frustration, gave up and looked up. And when he did, in silence, he looked towards the back of the room. And there, something caught his attention that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He had noticed something was missing from the back of the court room, but the Corona couldn’t figure out what was gone. After a few seconds of thinking, it had finally hit the Corona’s head.
The Corona then asked out loud while staring into the back of the court room, “Hey, wasn’t there a guy there in the back… you know in a coat and everything?”
Forrest then gave a little shrug, not really paying attention to any of the details that was there before.
Sloppy Joe then said to the Corona while the Corona looked towards him, “The guy with the beard? You just missed him. He went out the back after you two had left. He said not to tell you that he went out the back or else he’ll kill me by ripping me in half while shoving my organs up my anus… fuck…”
The Corona then took a quick second to gather all of this new information into his mind while looking at Forrest as Forrest stared back and he immediately rushed to the back while telling Forrest kind of, “Quick, we might still catch him!”
As the Corona and Forrest rushed out the back to try and see if they couldn’t follow the mysterious guy who was there, Cracker Jack and Sloppy Joe were alone with one another.
Cracker Jack then looked up to Sloppy Joe with a loving puppet smile and said to him, “I love you papa…”
Sloppy Joe then gave a worried, yet confused look on his face and looked down at him while asking him, “Who are you again?”
And then Cracker Jack lowered his head down in sadness while making a small wimping sound of disappointment.
OUT IN THE BACK ALLEY OF THE COURTHOUSE…
Yeah, this court house was a little different to other courthouses… as this one had a back alley that was filthy like the 80’s. Once the Corona and Forrest made it to the back, the Corona kicked open the back door and went into the back alley. Like I said, it was dirty like the 80’s. There was garbage everywhere, with some smoke coming from somewhere like a dirty man hole or something.
There was some overfilled dumpsters on the side of the building, and as the Corona kicked open the door, a black cat jumped from off the dumpster and yelled a bit while scurrying away.
To top it all off, the sun was starting to set and the star gave off that warm orange glow when the day was about to end as it hit the alleyway a bit. As the Corona rushed out the back alley, he was looking around frantically while Forrest came outside more calmly.
Forrest then asked the Corona, “Who are we looking for?”
The Corona, not seeing anything or anyone, then got pissed off as he then kicked off a nearby metal tin garbage can as rats fled from it while making little rat noises as he said, “Damn it, I just missed my only lead! What am I going to do now?”
Forrest then hovered slowly behind the Corona and then asked nicely, “I know it may seem like a bad time for you and everything but uhhhh… do you think you can take me back home now. I think it’s getting kind of late and I shouldn’t be out after dark.”
He had said that while scratching the back of his head with his left hoof.
But the Corona wasn’t having any of it as he then snapped at Forrest and said to him, “Can’t you see I just lost my two daughters! Don’t be selfish and think about others for once! I just lost my only hope to get my kids back! And now… I might never see them again…”
As the Corona said that last part, he looked down in sadness and looked a little depressed. He then started to walk away out of the alley without another word.
As he was doing so, Forrest still asked the Corona, “Yeah but… can you take me home or what?”
However the Corona was in too deep with his thoughts and didn’t respond back to Forrest as he kept walking away from him.
Once the Corona was out of sight, Forrest then said to himself, “Uggghhh…. Ok then… I guess I’ll look around then… where am I even?”
As he was saying that right before he had finished, he started to fly away with his wings and out of the alley way while turning his head left and right while having a confused look on his face.
But somewhere on his face, he was trying to see this as a positive and see this as some kind of an adventure and that he can still have fun and put on a smile in this new world that he was put into against his own will.
MEANWHILE, THE CORONA…
The Corona was all by himself by this point, with no one else around him to look at him or to stop and ask what was wrong. He was simply somewhere in the city all by himself as the sun was slowly going down and was about to be put out by the night sky. The direction that the Corona was walking was with the buildings and alleyways to his left and the open ended street to his left.
As he was walking by himself, he hanged his head low and was sobbing quietly to himself, weeping that he wouldn’t see his two daughters, the fruit that came from his loin ever again.
As he was walking by himself, he was telling himself, “Keep it together man. Just keep it together. You-you just gotta… I mean… come on… they were going to have to leave the nests anyways… they were getting older. But… but it was too soon though. Dad-d-daddy isn’t going to be able to see you again… II just need a drink… just a little drink to keep the pain away from me… that’s all…”
as he was walking, time passed a little fast than he would have noticed as the sun was all but gone by this point and the night sky was taking in full right above him. As he was walking, the street lamps started to turn as the crickets started to sing their little songs in the far distance, even though they sounded like they were near him. And the Corona, he was still all by himself, not seeing another person or anything for that matter around him as he was walking the city in the night.
As the Corona was walking, the Corona put his head up a bit and started to get a weird feeling. A kind of feeling that you get when you are walking the city at night and you are all by yourself. That feeling that someone is watching you and is following behind you.
Perhaps a rapist or a mugger is following you. Or maybe one of them shadow people are tailing you, waiting to take your soul when you least expect it. Or maybe it’s your star crossed lover that is obsessed with you and will just end raping and mugging you at the same time… and steal your soul cause your star crossed lover is a shadow person… but it only did it out of love… awwww…
The Corona was starting to hear footsteps as well, as some nice fine shoes was clicking on the concrete sidewalk as it echoed into the night time air. And it all was coming from behind him and the Corona could sense it without having to look behind him. It felt like whoever or whatever was behind him was walking in sync with his movements, despite him just hovering in mid air, slightly off the ground of course.
But still, the Corona felt like someone was watching him from behind. Yet he was thinking in his mind that it was all in his head and that it’s his mind playing tricks on him, especially in his state of distress. But the Corona didn’t feel right, as if he had a sixth sense and it was going off. So, without warning, the Corona quickly turned and to catch whoever was following him in the act. But to his disappointment, nobody was there. There was nothing but an empty street with one of the street lights flickering on and off, almost about to go out and a city that was too lazy and cheap to replace it.
Without a word or a sound from the Corona, he simply turned back around and continued to head towards the bar for a nice drink. Although before he did, he seemed a little hesitant to keep going forward, but it was either that or stand there the entire night.
But the moment the Corona continued to push forward, a shadow emerged from a nearby building that had an alleyway connected to it. It was of course the mysterious man from the court house following him, and he was keeping his distance… for now… but for now the Corona made it to the bar…
AT THE CITY’S BAR…
So eventually the Corona made it to the bar without much of a fuss. Well, he was still down in the dumps, but he made it all in one piece and was ready to dull his sense with some organic drinks to slowly kill his liver and brain cells. When the Corona entered through the double doors of his local bar, the inside of the place was kind of clean compared to most bars.
It wasn’t any five star kind of a bar where they serve wine and expensive champagnes. It was like a bar that you would usually see, but if they had actually put in the effort to make the place look nice. They had some booths to one side with some decent looking high tables in the middle. They had a classy looking jukebox and clean bathrooms to do the dirty in it if you had a date with you.
You could do the stinky without worry about getting floor AIDS… or any other diseases… except for syphilis; you always get syphilis no matter what. And for the bar counter, it was glossed over with a nice kind of paint with the back shelves stocked with all kind of drinks. Sure you could get the usual beer that you can get at a 7/11, bottled or from tap, but you could always spend the extra dough and get some of the more finer drinks.
And in the background playing on the jukebox, some classy, chill piano music was playing to add to the atmosphere.
In the bar, there wasn’t but no more than a couple of people in the place, one of them being a familiar face to the Corona who he didn’t notice right off the bat. It was a slow night for the place, but the Corona stumbled on in with despair on his face, and a mouth ready to drink the pain away.
The first thing that the Corona did was head straight for the bar counter, pulled up a bar stool, and sat at the counter, waiting for the bartender who looked a bit rough with some hairy arms and an eye patch, along with some missing teeth and a bit of a disgusting looking beard on his chin. Other than that, he looked like the average Joe that you could imagine in your mind… that forgettable…yeah.
As the Corona took a seat at the bar top, the bartender said to the Corona with a gruff sounding voice in his throat, “What the hell are you doing in here!? I thought I told ya I wouldn’t serve you till’ you pay your tab!”
Then the Corona said in a way that seemed like he didn’t care anymore and just gave up on life, “Can you not do this now? Can’t you see I need something to numb the emotional pain? I just lost my daughters to my ex wife, I can’t do my job, I’m a washed up loser with nothing left, I even have to be put on a list for the rest of my life now. I’m not in the mood for this right now.”
The bartender then said as he was picking up a beer glass and drying it with a rag while shaking his head and making some small grunts, “Linda huh? Yeah, she is a nagging bitch just like how my wife is you poor fuck…”
Then the bartender stood there and rolled his eyes for a bit and hesitated while making some more grunts.
Eventually he finally put the beer glass down and from behind the counter, he grabbed a cold beer bottle of some kind with his right hand and put it in front of the Corona and said to him while giving a quick sigh, “Fuck me and my sympathy! Here! One round for your troubles. And then you get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to see you back here till you pay what you owe. I’m not a fucking charity. And may god help you.”
After he gave the Corona his one and only beer, he started to walk to the other side of the bar top.
As he was doing so, the Corona spoke up and said, “Thanks… I guess…”
Then the bartender said as he was walking away, “Don’t mention it.”
And then the Corona somehow without arms, picked it up and started to drink it through his mouth… or ehhhhhh… absorb it through his… corona like body… thingy… however you want to picture that in your head. Just take my word for it ok, the beer was going into him and his system somehow. And somehow he was tasting that liquor and having it engulf his liver…assuming he had one. I’m not sure if he even had intestines and other guts in his own body.
As he was drinking, on the other side of the bar near the jukebox, Komo was standing there all cool like, looking through the selection while having a bit of a disappointed look on his face. He had his bottle of cold beer sitting on top of the box as he was concentrating on the machine.
Komo said to himself as he was flipping through the songs, “Come on, come on… doesn’t this place have any good music to lighten up this graveyard?”
As Komo was flipping through the list, the Corona on the other end made a bit of a loud grunt loud enough for Komo to perk his ears up and to take notice. Komo got a bit of a curious look on his face and turned around to find the Corona. In which case, Komo then had a little smile form on his face, put his right hand in his pocket, and took his cold beer from the top of the jukebox and started to head over to the Corona. Komo walked all sly like and as he got close, he went ahead and pulled up a bar stool right next to the Corona, sliding on in without a mistake.
Once he took a seat, the Corona didn’t notice until Komo spoke up and he said to him, “Hey, didn’t expect to see you here. Why the long face?”
The Corona then said to him without even looking at him, “Oh… hey… it’s you…you’re that guy…what do you want?”
Then Komo said to him, “Oh nothing, just checking up on my old buddy of course. It’s been a while, where you’ve been?”
Komo then took a swig of his beer. The Corona then said to him, “We met earlier today, don’t you remember? It was like a few hours ago.”
Komo then said to him, “Oh my bad. Sometimes I have a tendency to mix some of the time up. I’ve been keeping real busy you know with my work.”
Komo moved his index finger around, adding his commentary with emotion with his gestures.
However the Corona couldn’t care less as he then just said, “Yeah well, at least your work is going good for you. I’ve lost everything that I’ve had.”
The Corona then took a sip of his beer. Komo then said to him, “Well that’s no reason to have a frown on your face there Corona.”
The Corona then, “That’s easy for you to say. You probably have it all made for you.”
Komo then said to him with a smile, “Well I wouldn’t say I have everything. For example my job involves me traveling a lot and I can’t seem to enjoy the finer things in life. At least you can just stay here in one place and try to focus on one thing and embrace it. Me… I have to keep on the move at all times.”
The Corona then asked him while taking a sip, “Oh yeah… why’s that?”
Komo then explained to him, “Well I don’t want to go into the details. But I have a lot of people to meet, a lot to see, a lot to do. It takes a lot of energy from me to do it you know. It’s quite tiresome actually.”
The Corona then looked at him and then said, “Well I wish it wasn’t like this for me. I just lost my two daughters to my bitch of an ex wife who I used to give my heart to years ago. And I lost my only lead that could have helped me get them back too. I don’t even know how it even happened to begin with. It seemed like the judge was going to pick me for my girls to stay with me, but then at the last second he changed his mind for whatever reason and picked my ex wife. I mean what the hell was that shit!”
Komo looked a bit interested in what he was saying so he then said to the Corona with a small smirk, “For some reason huh? Well, sounds like there is more to it than what you think.”
The Corona then said, “Do you think I don’t know that? I’m telling you… there is a conspiracy against me.”
Komo then said as his eyes glowed a bit with interest, “Oh yeah?”
The Corona then said to Komo, “I mean, there is a reason for all of this happening to me. And I think I know who is behind all of a this. A group perhaps even.”
Komo then said as he leaned in forwards towards the Corona “Oh yeah… who do you think it is?”
Komo seemed very interested as to what the Corona had to say. The Corona then said to him, “The ones behind all of this is simple really… it’s Linda… and she has started a secret underground group to make my life miserable.”
Komo then looked a little disappointed while keeping the sly smile while leaning back to his normal sitting position.
He then said to the Corona, “Oh well, I think that might be farfetched there Corona. I know your wife can be hard on you sometimes, but I think that you and I from our work experience it goes way deeper than her.”
Komo then took a sip from his beer. The Corona then said, “Why do you keep saying we worked together? I don’t even remember doing anything with you at all.”
Komo then said to him with some hope in his voice, “Come on Corona, don’t you remember who I am and what we did in Japan and elsewhere? We worked together, side by side.”
The Corona then said to him, “No, I don’t. In fact, I quite frankly don’t give a shit.”
Komo then said to the Corona, “Trust me, we did work together Corona. You just forgot and need to remember.”
Komo then took a final sip from his beer and got up from his seat.
As he was doing so, he said to the Corona “Excuse me, I’ve got to go take a leak if you know what I mean.”
He then gave a quick wink to the Corona and was then off to the bathroom.
As he was walking away, the Corona went back to looking forward and holding his beer and said out loud under his breath, “Hmmph… I didn’t forget… you did…”
BACK IN THE LATE 90’S IN JAPAN…
Yeah why not? Why not have a flash back, besides I think the Corona was having a flashback as well around this point somewhere deep within his unconscious mind, so just roll with it. I’m seeing it just like how you’re seeing it in your head. It’s all in your head. So what about the Corona and his little flash back? Well we’re taking it back… all the way back to the year 1995.
March 20th 1995 that is sometime in the early morning in Tokyo, Japan.
Located somewhere in the middle of the city sat the U.S. Embassy. And somewhere in that building, probably on the third floor or something, Komo and the Corona were sitting right next to an office door in a waiting room, a waiting room that was empty other than a lonely intern who was paid to just sit there and shuffle some papers around all day.
The walls were white and dry and the floor was made out of a carpet with the color of puke green. And the Corona and Komo were both sitting in average plastic chairs, waiting to go into the office next to them. The Corona looked like his average self and Komo looked about the same as well in his usual outfit, but just a tad bit younger.
The Corona said to Komo, “What do you think he wants to talk about?”
Komo looked over to the Corona with a warm smile, “I don’t know, but he’s our new boss now. We worked hard for this you know? So calm down and just enjoy the moment that we’re in the big league now.”
Komo started to relax his legs and back a little bit as his ass slid down the chair a bit as he put his arms around the back of his head, smiling away, not worrying about a thing.
The Corona then looked towards Komo while leaning in a bit towards him, “Yeah but, I don’t you think this isn’t the tippy top though. We still have a ways to go, and it was damn near impossible to get here.”
Komo while shifting his eyes over to the Corona’s direction, “Just relax Corona. The hard part is over. We passed what so many others couldn’t do. And now all we have to do is do what the boss tells us to do and we’re riding big Corona.”
Komo then pointed his finger at the Corona and said to him, “And don’t forget, think of all the stories we get to tell to the ladies back home. The things that we will be able to see and tell them, we can score big time with this gig.”
The Corona then asked Komo, “Yeah but… didn’t we sign that we wouldn’t say a word of what we see or else we’ll get sent to prison?”
Komo then said to the Corona while lazily closing his eyes a bit, “Yeah, true… but they won’t know about it. It’s not like they’ve got microphones in our pockets or cameras everywhere where they are always listening in on our private conversations. And unless one of the chicks that we pick up happens to be a secret spy, there’s nothing to worry about.”
The Corona then said, “Yeah but…”
Komo cut the Corona off and said to him while sitting up and opening his eyes to him, “Relax buddy. Look at like this, if it isn’t the chicks that’ll get you to cool it, just know that we’re going to be making a difference in people’s lives. That we get to actually be part of something greater than ourselves and we can actually help others and bring peace and harmony to everyone around the world. Sure it might get a little rough now and then, but isn’t that a little price for the reward of a good time?”
As Komo was talking, he began to hunch over a little bit while keeping a smile towards the Corona and trying to give him the look to just relax. And as soon as Komo’s little talk was over, the door right next to them opened up. A guy slightly walked out of the them. He was for the most part had a little bit of hair on the sides and back. He wore black rimmed glasses and wore an average grey suit and tie like an important business man.
He said to them, “Sirs, please take a step into my office.”
And then the guy walked back in as Komo and the Corona got up from their seats and headed inside the office.
The Corona was the last to go in so he closed the door behind them as the guy said to the both of them, “Take a seat gentlemen.”
Komo then said as the Corona was taking his seat along with himself, “It is a pleasure to meat you Mr…”
The guy cut him off and he said, “It’s Hopkins. And no need for the formalities. You two have earned it.”
Hopkins started to shift through some papers on his desk as silence filled the air. The two pals remained silent, waiting for their new boss to speak to them.
Hopkins then said with an awkward smile on his face, “Seems here you two passed our tests… congratulations… you two are “special.”
The Corona then said, “Why thank you. My mother always said I was special.”
Hopkins then gave a little bit of a chuckle in his voice.
Hopkins then said to the two of them, “Don’t flatter yourselves too much. Of course none of us are special. We’re just living on this planet… day by day… living life. But… you two are ‘special’ though. You see you two passed all of our tests that only a fraction who enter our program ever get to even see. Hell, most of them don’t even past the standard school part where all you have to do is study and write essays. And that within itself is well… a great accomplishment. You two along with nineteen others are the only ones who got approved for this job. And the jobs we give you are going to be important ones. The ones that the likes of you two can actually handle compared to the majority of the population. So… you are special, special in our point of view. That’s why we chose you.”
He had said it all with such enthusiasm almost as if he was a door to door salesman.
Komo then spoke up with an ego smile on his face, “Well both me and Corona here knows it was good without having you tell us that. Especially considering it was because it was the both of us, we both worked as a team.”
Hopkins then said to them as he looked directly into their eyes, “We know. That’s why the agency is putting you two together from now on for the jobs that we give you.”
He had a smile on his face, as he was proud to announce the news to the both of them. The Corona looked like he was happy… somehow… as he then looked towards Komo and looked like he was trying to give his best friend a high five. Komo of course, while looking giddy, gave him a high five back as well all with the slapping noise even though it looked like he was slapping just air.
Hopkins though sort of ruined their little celebration as he said with a selling smile, “Congrats you two… your first assignment is gassing people on the metro right here in Tokyo!”
The Corona and Komo then stopped in the middle of their little celebration and quickly turned to Hopkins with horrified looks on their faces as the Corona said to him, “Wait what?”
Hopkins then said to the two bluntly, “That’s your first job. Dress up as the Aum Shinrikyo cult and go gas some people on a train.”
Komo then said as he leaned in a little bit while moving his left arm around a bit, looking confused, “But we thought we signed up to help others, to help the United States, to… help the world?”
Hopkins then said, “You are. This is helping others.”
The Corona then said to him, “But how could this be even helping others? I mean, unless you mean… giving them gas…?”
The Corona then looked towards Komo and asked him, “He-he means giving right? Like just farting on them or giving them gas for their cars.”
Komo just looked irritated by the Corona and simply ignored him and looked back towards Hopkins as put his hands on his desk as he leaned forward and asked him, “This has to be some kind of mistake. We didn’t sign up to do any of the sort. If this is what we’re going to be doing, then we quit.”
Komo was determined to be the top dog in this conversation, and that he felt like he was going to get his way.
However, Hopkins only had a gloom look on his face. Not that he was sad as to what his job was or angered by Komo’s comments, he just looked annoyed that he had to have this conversation again with someone else. It wouldn’t be the first time this happened. Hopkins then took off his glasses and gave out a long sigh while rubbing his eyes a bit. He then put his gasses back on, stood up, and walked over to the window for dramatic effect… or maybe he worried about his car or something, who knows.
Hopkins then said in a calmly manner to the two, “Do you two know about Jonestown?”
Komo said, “Yes,” while the Corona said, “Uh huh.”
Hopkins then continued to say, “That was us… this agency, the FBI, the CIA, everything that we are connected to… everyone here was behind that little experiment.”
Komo then questioned, “Experiments, the hell do you mean by that?”
Hopkins then said to him as he looked at him, “Let me speak.”
He then looked back out the window as he said, “Jonestown wasn’t just some crazy cult that went crazy and drunk the Kool-aid. It was a little bit more than that. How should I put this? To begin with, Jones was one of us, a CIA asset. He was a little crazy, but we made a deal with him and worked together for at least several years before the experiment. We traded another dead body when they were doing autopsies. It was a great use for the MK Ultra program that the CIA was researching. Gave us a lot of insight into the mind of a human being and what made them tick and how we could use it to our advantages, as well the higher up’s goals. It was also a great excuse to get rid of certain people that was a pain in our asses. Leo Ryan wanted to reveal CIA operations; he didn’t feel right what the CIA was doing. So they had to correct him by sending him there and kill him. He almost escaped but they tied that loose end.
‘We also needed to get rid of George Moscone and Jeannie Mills. Especially Jeannie since she knew too much… too bad her family had to go with her. And then there was Mark Lane. famous for defending that shooter who killed MLK; was even looking into the JFK assassination. We couldn’t have him snooping around about what happened that day so we convinced him to talk kindly about the town, just so we can end up making him look like a fool to the rest of world to discredit him and make him look like a nut case. Hell, it was even a good excuse to train freedom fighters in the region to do some of the dirty work over there, and if things went south with that, we wouldn’t take the blame.
‘It wasn’t easy though, Richard Dwyer was a pain in our asses, trying to work with him. But it was worth it all in the end when we gave the rest of the community the poison. Some of them were dumb enough to drink the Kool-aid cause they thought it was the only way to be free… bunch of fucking dumbasses. Course some were smart enough to not do it, more credit than what we gave them, but we couldn’t let them leave so we just either forced it down their fucking throats or shot them. And the kids… I’ve heard their screams in the recordings as the poison burned their insides, crying out in pain as they suffered, it was like a sweet tune to our ears.”
The Corona and Komo were both left shocked and almost speechless as to what they were hearing, especially Komo, he couldn’t believe what he was being told.
Although he tried to keep it together and keep a constant posture and look on his face as he looked towards Hopkins and said, “Why? Why would you even do it to begin with?”
Hopkins looked over, curious as to what Komo’s words were saying.
So he then walked a bit towards him and looked down on him as he said to him, “Why? Because we did it for the greater good. It’s our job as the government to help. It isn’t even just me. There are others way above my pay grade that gives these orders, others that are way beyond your understanding.”
The Corona then asked, “You mean aliens?”
Hopkins then said as he looked at the Corona annoyed, “No you dipshit, other human beings.”
He then looked back to Komo and said, “It’s other people who pull the strings and their ideas. And they want to help us much as me or anyone else here in this place. This isn’t about you. This isn’t about me. This is about for the good of all of humanity.”
Komo then looked dead in the eyes and asked him, “What possible help could come from something like that? That’s not helping humanity, that mutilating humanity!”
Hopkins then said with a stern look on his face, “It’s about protecting. Protecting people.”
Komo then asked, “From who?”
Hopkins calmly with a little growl from his voice, “From themselves.”
And then there was silence between the two, an awkward silence as Komo looked angered, yet couldn’t find the words to speak up.
So the Corona felt like he needed to break the silence as he then said, “Well, we best be going here and…”
Hopkins said to him without looking at him, “Shut up!”
There was another few seconds of silence as he looked deeply into Komo’s eyes and asked him, “Now, you two have a job to do. You signed up for it, and we’re counting on you two to make things right for this world. Are you still going to work with us, or are we going to have a problem?”
And then Komo just stared back at him in silence, not showing any signs of weakness towards him. The air was getting a little intense, as Hopkins waited for his answer.
A FEW MINUTES LATERS…
And then the two walked out of the embassy and out on to the Tokyo streets. They were done with their meeting as they both looked a little bit on edge. They were walking down the streets of Tokyo, walking past some Asians who were going about their busy Asian day, doing Asian like things, like eating rice at some point, you know they always do.
As the two were walking, the Corona said to Komo, “Well I think it went very well in there!”
Komo who was looking worried and a little afraid said to him, “Are you kidding me Corona? Did you not hear what he said in there just a moment ago?”
The Corona then said to him, “I did, but… come on… it isn’t all that bad.”
Komo then looked at the Corona with angry eyes as he said to him, “This is wrong! We shouldn’t even be doing this! We should have just got up and left and let someone do their dirty work for them! I don’t even know why I even said yes after all of that talk.”
Komo started to hang his head in shame as the Corona said to him, “Maybe it’s because they would slit our throats open in our sleep so we wouldn’t talk about it to the press?”
Komo raised his head up with a doom and gloom look on his face as he said, “I think I’m more afraid of what we’re going to do than them threatening my life Corona. This isn’t right; we shouldn’t have to do this. How the hell can he even stand there with a straight face and tell me this is helping! Oh god this is all fucked… and I’m not even sure what to do other than to go on.”
The Corona then said to him as he leaned towards him while walking a bit and giving him a little nudge with his… arm…, “Oh come on… cheer up there buddy! Look on the bright side, there’ll be less people in the world… more food for us at the store… less waiting in lines at theme parks… a lot of empty seats at the theatre. A-And besides… so what if we have to… uhh… gas some people and… take their lives away from them and from their families… he he… people die every day. So what’s the difference? I mean, we’re just sending uh… God more angels and helping him along with his plan… if you want to uh… go there… you’re religious right?”
The Corona looked at him while asking that question, as Komo lowered his head down a bit as he said while looking dead straight, “I don’t think God would smile down upon us for what we’re doing. I think by the time that we die, our souls won’t be worth saving and we’ll be living in eternal damnation with all of our sins.”
The Corona then went on to say, “Maybe we should switch to Islam. Then we can pretend they are infidels and we are doing it in God’s name. Or maybe change to that Jedi religion cause there is no God there. Or maybe even make our own religion and that way God doesn’t have dibs on us!”
Komo then said to him with a cynical tone in his voice, “Just shut up Corona. Now what did the boss say again?”
The Corona then said to him, “He said that our stuff is going to be in an alley by the entrance to the Tokyo Metro. We’ll dress up like the Supreme Truth; carry the Sarin that are in bags that we then poke with a stick that then releases the gas. And in case we need it, we have gas masks. And then as soon as we can, make a run for it, change our clothes, and deny that any of this happened. And if we do get caught, they will let us hang out to dry and will probably be raped in a prison somewhere. Also there is 8 other people doing this… I wonder who our co workers are? I bet one of them has a wife that will be willing to invite us over for dinner one night. Maybe we can even have a cook out to get to know each other.”
Komo then gave a sigh and said to him, “Let’s… Let’s just focus on the task and get this over with.”
And so the two continued to walk on until they got near the entrance of the underground Tokyo Metro, and spotted a nearby ally to their left. Once they did, they both stopped in their tracks and both gave looks of misfortune to each other.
The Corona asked, “Well… uh… are you ready then… buddy?”
Komo then said as he looked towards his destiny in the alleyway, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
And so the two without a single word from them for the rest of the job, walked to the alley way. It was filthy with trash lying everywhere, but luckily no witnesses to see what they were doing. They then looked towards the nearby green dumpster, looked behind it, and saw the black duffle bag. In it lied their disguise, a couple of gas masks, and two bags with the gas so all they had to do with poke it with a stick to release it, along with the stick to poke a hole in it of course.
So they changed their clothes, put it behind the dumpster for now, and put on a white shirt and pants that they looked more like they were from the cult. And yes, even the Corona dressed up in this as well... somehow cause he was literally a corona virus, how the fuck does that even work?
And then the two were set, they grabbed the bags filled with Sarin with Komo carrying the pointy stick and the Corona carrying the two gas masks in the duffle bag, and headed towards the Tokyo Metro, and it was during rush hour so it was going to be like chickens to the slaughter house. They both went down the steps and deep into underground; both keeping their cool and keeping their eyes forward, not making any suspicious movements.
They were just two people going about their day as the others. They entered through the station, went past the security with no complications all the while the two of them were keeping a steady heart rate, breathing in and out as they needed to.
They walked by all the other people, as they looked at them, thinking some of them are going to die, but there was nothing they could do about it. They had jobs to do, and one way or another, some people were gonna die motha fucka. Eventually the two made it to the platform and stood behind some people who were waiting for the next train. As the two stood there many things were going through their heads.
For the Corona, he was keeping it cool and thinking of other things like what he was going to eat later that night and how much would it be to pay for an escort for that night… and will the condom break? For Komo, even though he looked calm, on the inside, he was having second thoughts. A part of him felt like he could just drop everything and run away; change his name and hide, walking away from all of this.
But another part of him knew that he can’t. He was already too deep, he couldn’t walk away; he had to do what he had to do, even if it was something that he didn’t want to do. Perhaps that Hopkins was right, maybe this was all for the better of mankind.
He was trying to rationalize it all in his head, thinking that maybe everything will be ok, and that this is for their own good… somehow… Hopkins did say to him later after scolding him in his office about how this is all to put the scare into people’s hearts and put the Aum Shinrikyo on the map for dangers to avoid. This was all part of the plan to help people. It was the right thing to do in his mind. The train eventually made its way and came to a complete stop. From there everyone who got off, got off, and everyone who got on got on. The two weren’t the first to get on, but not the last either.
They blended in with the crowd, nothing unusual. Eventually they made their way into the middle of the train car and stood up, not taking a seat as the Corona placed the duffle bag down on the ground. Everyone else just either took a seat or stood up. And then the train went into motion and started to run forward as the two stood there, looking at all those were going to probably die in front of their eyes.
Even the Corona was starting to look a little worried for the poor souls, but they both looked at each other, both gave a nod to each other, placed the bags on the ground. Komo then used the stick that he was carrying and poked a hole in both bags, letting the gas of Sarin rush on out of the bags. And from there it was all over for the people on the train. Some couldn’t breathe, some started to scream in fear and runaway. Some didn’t even know what the hell was even happening to them. It happened all so fast.
And as for Komo and the Corona, they opened up the duffle bag quickly, put their gas masks on and tried to get out of anyone else’s sight till they could find a place to get off and make a run for it.
As for the poor souls on the train, fourteen had died, fifty severally injured, and about a thousand more affected by the gas.
But in the end the deed was done, and the only take away from this is… the one who smelt it dealt it.
BACK IN THE PRESENT DAY…
Alright so back to where the Corona was drinking away on his only beer at the bar as Komo was taking a leak. the Corona just sat there as he was chugging on his only beer as he held his head back a bit, and as soon as he stopped feeling the liquid hit his lips, he looked deep into the bottle, shook it a little to get the last drop out.
And when he saw nothing was coming out of it, he then placed the empty bottle down on the bar counter and said to himself, “Oh well…”
The Corona got off of the bar stool and left the bar after wards, all the while Komo was still in the bathroom and not letting him know without a care. After the Corona left, he headed straight back to his shitty apartment place as the night took hold of the sky.
LATER AT HIS APARTMENT…
The Corona walked the streets at night, all alone and with no one else in sight. It was only him and him only. And to him, it was sad. He was hanging his head down in shame and walking at a slow pace, giving a slow with a slight sigh to himself every few minutes or so as he inflicted self pity on to himself. He couldn’t help but feel alone as he didn’t have is daughters with him walking back with him or the feeling of getting to see his daughters when he got back inside.
He was going to arrive at an empty nest from here on out. Eventually the Corona made it to his crappy apartment building with no one else around. Everyone living in the place was probably asleep or up for some dirty late night sex and the like. The Corona climbed the stairs and past all the crummy little doors and mold filled walls. It looked like the place should be condemned. The Corona got up to his floor which was the third floor and went over to his room 331.
As he went to his door, he noticed a little note taped on the front door along with a big red sign as well saying that he was going to be evicted soon within twenty four hours if he didn’t pay up the money soon. All along with a little note from the landlord stating to the Corona:
Dear Corona,
I know that I owed you that favor before from when you helped me with that little side business with the drugs and stuff. And while I am grateful for your assistance, I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’m running low on money, the other tenants aren’t paying their bills and honestly it’s hard to make ends meet now. And you’re kind of dead weight to my establishment so I’m going to have to let you go. I’ll give you a chance to pay what you owe by the day after tomorrow, but after that, I’m kicking you out so someone else can move in and give me the money. Sorry it had to be this way Corona. But look on the bright side; at least you’ve got family with ya to be by your side in your time of need, that’s always worth something.
Sincerely, your shady former business partner John Doe
P.S. don’t go snitching to no fucking pigs about what we did or my real name. Remember, Snitches are Bitches that get Stitches.
The Corona just stood there as he grumbled to himself under his breath as he said, “Son of a fucking bitch. He promised me he got my back that fucking liar.”
And so the Corona… somehow from somewhere, grabbed out the keys from his back, unlocked the door and turned the lights on to his apartment. And it was as dirty as he had left it, along with not seeing his daughters to fill up the empty space. He then put the eviction notice on the dirty kitchen counter next to him by the entrance and closed and locked the door behind him.
He then went to the kitchen area, reached for the top cabinet, and took a bottle of aspirin. He then twisted the cap, opened the small, overpriced container, and tried to shake a couple of pills out. But nothing came out, so the Corona looked inside real quick, and saw the entire bottle of aspirin was empty.
So he threw the empty bottle down to the ground as he was irked by this as he said to himself quietly while groaning a little bit, “Damn it…”
He then walked over to the TV that was in the front living room that was old and still had antennas attached to the top of it and was from like twenty five years ago, turned the dial to turn the TV on, and turned it to whatever static filled station that looked decent enough to put on as background noise and that he could make out.
He had turned it some kind of low budget game show, with the audio only being mono and the picture being really crappy. The Corona then went over to the nearby door, turned off the lights, and then across the room again to a little side table that was over by the windows, right next to the pull out couch bed that used to be his daughter’s bed.
And on that table had some poorly framed pictures of him and his two daughters from better days along with a nearby lamp that the Corona turned on so he could see better. The lamp gave off a warm, orange glow, that kind of glow that made you feel a little safe and warm in the middle of the night.
And the Corona just went there and stared at the pictures, looking at it and staring at it, reminiscing about the memories that he had with his two daughters when they used to be happy and when they were all a family together. The Corona gave a slight sigh as he looked sad and was about to cry a bit as he missed them very much.
But as the Corona was busy having his head in the clouds about memories past, he wasn’t alone as someone was with him in the apartment. A tall shadow appeared behind the Corona, without him even knowing. It was standing in the kitchen, just standing there, tall and menacingly.
The shadow then started to walk towards the Corona’s back. And slowly and into the light it came, it was the mysterious man with the light brown duster coat and detective hat from the court room. And he wasn’t looking too pleasing as he looked angry. He silently walked up and stopped behind the Corona. From there, he raised both of his arms up, with revealing that his right arm was a metal, prosthetic arm like a robotic cyborg.
And then without a second notice, the mysterious man came down with sheer full force with his arms, pounding and breaking the side table in half, missing the Corona by a mere few inches as the Corona stumbled back in surprise as to what was happening.
The Corona wasn’t sure what to make of this as it happened all of a sudden as he said out loud, “What the fuck!?”
The mysterious man saw that he missed, so he gritted his death and was determined not to miss again. So he darted his eyes towards the Corona with a fiery look in his eyes as he then raised his right arm and aimed it straight to the Corona’s face.
But once again, the Corona swiftly dodged it to the right and moved towards where the TV was at. The mysterious man however instead hit the walls and made a hole in it as asbestos came pouring out of it. So the mysterious man turned his attention back to the Corona quickly and was pissed that he was missing him with what should have been an easy target for him.
The Corona then said as he was backing up very slowly and was nervous as all hell to talk to him, “Ah! Who are you!? Don’t come near me! I’ll infect you, I’m serious this time, I swear!”
However the mysterious man didn’t care for a response as he then immediately went for the Corona. But once again, the Corona was too quick for him as he then swiftly moved to the couch and jumped on to its soft cushions. The mysterious man instead broke the TV screen into pieces with his right metal arm.
So he then looked to the Corona over to the couch and swiftly made his way over in that direction. The Corona jumped, but not before the mysterious man took another swing towards him. But the Corona was able to dodge his attack as the mysterious man broke the couch in half just like he did to the side table. The Corona then made his way to the door to exit the apartment, but before he did, he froze in place as he was trying to open the door as the mysterious man came closer to him.
The Corona then said nervously, “Ah! What do you want!? Is it money? Because if it is, I don’t have it! My wife took most of it in the divorce, go get her instead! Ah!”
The mysterious ma didn’t care as he just kept coming for him. So the Corona bolted out the door as fast as he could and the mysterious man followed suit. As he was doing so, the Corona made it into the dirty hallway and was trying to head for the stairs and out the building, but he was stopped as he saw Forrest was coming his way.
Forrest was calm and didn’t see anything wrong with what was happening. He was using his Pegasus wings and flying through the hallway, he didn’t want to touch the dirty floor of the place. He was kind of like that sometimes. Not that he was germaphobic, but he wanted to keep some clean hooves though from time to time.
So Forrest with a small smile on his face as soon as he saw the Corona went towards him immediately, as the Corona was then forced to stand in one place because Forrest was blocking the way. For the mysterious man, he didn’t care about the magical, talking, Technicolor pony that was right in front of him; he was just wanting the Corona.
So the mysterious man got near the Corona and just kept swinging at the Corona, trying to hit him and knock him out real good, while the Corona was looking at his movements and trying to dodge his attacks. Meanwhile, he tried to talk to Forrest.
Forrest said to him as he then landed down on all four hooves of his as soon as he close to the Corona and looked a bit confused, “Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
The Corona then said to him as he was desperately trying to dodge the mysterious man’s right metal filled arm, jumping and ducking, “I’m kind of in the middle of something here!”
Forrest then said to him with a straight forward face, “Oh? Did I catch you at a bad time?”
The mysterious man said as he was making holes in the wall with his right arm while constantly missing the Corona, “Hold still!”
But of course the Corona wasn’t and was trying to leave. So Forrest said to the Corona, “Oh well sorry to bother you, but I’ve been looking all day to get back home or how I even got here. And I would really appreciate it if you can help me get back home to Stalia to me and my friends. I’m sure they are worried about me… I hope.”
We weren’t.
So the Corona said to him, “Can’t you figure that part out yourself!?”
Forrest then said to the Corona, “Yeah… but I tried everything. I tried flying into a wall and into one of those metal moving thingies that are constantly everywhere. I even tried a wardrobe and it only took me to some snowy place with a weird goat like creature who asked me if I wanted some crack. So I think only you can help me now.”
Then the Corona didn’t say anything as he was trying to think while still dodging the mysterious man’s advances towards him.
After a few seconds of thinking, the Corona said out loud, “Wait, I’ve got it! I know how I can get you back home.”
Forrest then said to the Corona with a bit of glee on his face, “You do?”
The Corona then said to him, “Yeah, just hold still for a minute!”
The Corona then dodged his last attack from the mysterious man, quickly went to the right side of Forrest’s torso and grabbed a hold of him.
He then yelled out loud as the mysterious man was a bit confused by what he was trying to do, “Follow my lead!”
Forrest looked worried as to what he was trying to do with him, but he rolled with it as the Corona started pushing him straight forward as he started to run ahead. The mysterious man then stepped to the side to see what was happening and the two ran straight for the end of the hallway, which had a decent sized window that the Corona was aiming to jump out of.
The Corona then said out loud, “Get ready to jump!”
The Corona then quickly hoped on to Forrest’s back, minding his wings, as Forrest then jumped through the window and broke through the glass. Thankfully it didn’t hurt Forrest, well at least to Forrest that is, and Forrest was jumping through the third story glass window of the apartment building and to the outside world.
The Corona then yelled out loud, “Fly you fool!”
However, the Corona lost his grip on Forrest’s back torso and fell to the ground. But luckily for Forrest, he started to flap his wings and the second he did, a portal opened up right in front of him that lead back to his own universe.
And as he saw that, he smiled with joy and yelled out loud to the Corona before he left the universe, “Oh cool, thank you!”
And then as soon as Forrest was through and back to his universe, the portal closed behind him, leaving the Corona alone once more to face the mysterious man.
As the Corona was falling in mid air, he saw the portal open up and he said to himself, “Huh, didn’t expect that…”
However since it was only merely the third floor of the building, as soon as he hit the ground, he did a little rolling and landed without much of an issues or a scratch as he landed in the parking lot. The Corona however hesitated, thinking he might have died or something, but he looked at himself and looked around and saw that he was perfectly fine. This filed him with glee and excitement as he had never really done something like this before.
So with finding out that he was still alive, he was jumping up and down with joy for a little bit. As for the mysterious man, he was looking through the broken window very disgruntled, and the window was a bit too small for him to simply fit through unlike Forrest and the Corona who was about the perfect size for it.
And the Corona saw this as he then looked up at him from the ground and started to tease and mock him by saying to him, “Ha ha! … Hey… he he! I’m all the way down here! And you are all the way up there! What are you going to do about it huh!? You can’t get me you big fucking dumb looking son of a…”
The Corona was cut off as the mysterious man quickly backed up from the window a bit, and then ran and broke through the whole damn wall like the brute that he was and landed on the ground right in front of the Corona with a big thud, making some cracks on the pavement.
As soon as he landed, he looked directly at the Corona, ready to finish the job. The Corona started to back up slowly as he started to get nervous again.
The mysterious man started to slowly walk towards him as the Corona then said to him in a nervous tone of voice, “Woah woah woah…. Uhhhh… ok then… let’s talk about this ok? I didn’t think you’re actually that dumb…”
The mysterious man then said in his gruff and scruff voice, “You’re coming with me.”
In what felt like in the far distance, but not too far, the sound of a very powerful car engine could be heard, but neither of them noticed.
The Corona then said, “Stay back… I know how to conjure up Ike Turner.”
Then the mysterious man’s right metal arm started to extend and form a new shape and started to form some kind of a big electric taser like some weird robotic, cyborg Swiss army knife. The Corona saw this and got nervous and was scared for his life. And then without warning, a cool, red sports car came from out of nowhere, drifting and making a one hundred and eighty degree turn, knocking down the mysterious man to the ground on his back.
The Corona saw this and said to himself, “Wow, didn’t think I had it in me…”
The Corona spotted the driver of the car as he squinted a little bit and said to the driver, “Who the hell are you?”
The driver then lowered down the window and revealed himself to the Corona and it was none other than Komo himself. He had a very serious yet pissed off look on his face towards the Corona.
He then yelled out to him, “Get in Corona!”
The Corona then said to him, “Wait, you again!? Are you stalking me or something? Cause I don’t swing that way…”
Komo then interrupted him as he said, “Get in now!”
The Corona then said as he was rushing to the other side of the car, “Ok ok ok…”
The Corona then quickly got into the shotgun seat, closed the door, and put his seat belt on like a responsible citizen. And as soon as he was in, Komo put it in drive and tried to take off… but he couldn’t as something was holding them back.
As Komo pushed the gas pedal down all the way, they weren’t moving and there was a screeching sound coming from the back of the tires. So Komo looked into the rearview mirror and saw that the mysterious man was back up quickly and was holding on the to the bumper of the car and holding his position, not letting them go.
Komo then said to himself with an angered look, “Damn it! Hold on tight Corona!”
The Corona then asked Komo, “Why? What are you going to…”
Komo without hesitation pressed a button down near the stick shift that was big and red. And he pushed it like there was no tomorrow that then triggered a little bit of nitro on the back that then caught the mysterious man off guard as it burned part of his clothing.
The mysterious man saw this and groaned loud a bit as he had no other choice but to let go to put out the fire on his legs. And as soon as he let go, the car went flying forward and Komo made a quick turn with the wheel and turned to the other direction. But the mysterious man wasn’t letting them go that easily.
As soon as he put out the fire, he sprinted and followed the trail of the car down the empty streets of the city. With Komo and the Corona, Komo turned on some metal tunes on to get in the mood and get the heart pumping.
As Komo was taking turns left and right and fast down the streets, the Corona asked Komo, “Who was that guy!? And why was he after me!? And how did you know where to find me!?”
Komo, as he was looking in his review mirror, said to him, “I’ll explain that part later Corona. Right now he’s still on our tail.”
The chase went on for a while, like it was out of some big budget action movie and that there was going to be several explosions every second.
As Komo was trying to shake off the mysterious man from their behind, Komo said out loud, “Damn it, I can’t shake this son of a bitch!”
Komo then looked towards his left and saw an empty park with no one else around.
He then got an idea quickly as he then said to the Corona, “Hold on Corona, we’re taking a detour!”
And so Komo turned a sharp left, through some bushes and avoiding some trees and started to drive to the park. This put off the mysterious man a little bit, but only off by a few seconds as he then made a detour for the park also.
As the two was running past the park benches and swings and water fountains, the Corona then asked him, “Are you fucking nuts!? We’re going to get in so much trouble for this!”
Komo then said, “Just shut up and let me do the driving Corona.”
And drove he did, as he went swiftly and easily without much of a scratch through the park, with the mysterious man somewhat falling behind him. Soon, without realizing, the Corona noticed someone out there in the middle of the night out in the park, digging up something in the dark. And as they got close quickly to the figure, it turned out it was the judge from the court house that ruled against him.
The Corona saw this and said as he rolled down his window as they were passing him by, “Oh hey it’s the judge from my court hearing… HOW YA DOING JUDGE!?”
And that was it from him as the judge looked scared and confused. The little meet and greet went by so fast the judge didn’t even notice as it felt like it was a voice in his head saying that to him.
He turned around quickly as he then said, “Who’s there!? Was it from a ghost from my past… trying to hunt me for my sins and what I have done?! I said I was sorry!”
He started to cry a little bit, but he then turned back around and finished digging up a little shoe box that he had buried there previously years ago. Once he did, it was a little brown shoe box with some holes poked in it as he then opened it up with tears flowing down from his face. As he did, he dug up his old, terrible secret from his past that got him to rig in favor of the Corona’s ex wife. The judge had a dead Tamagotchi pet.
The judge said quietly to himself, “No one must never know the terrible truth… that I forgot to feed you and that you starved to death back in the Nineties! If anyone found out, I would have to resign from my position…”
And then the little virtual pet that was a rabbit from the machine woke up and said with a little smile and held up a middle finger to him and said, “Fucka you! You killed me! Yay!”
The judge then said out loud, “Stop haunting me! I tried to save you damn it! It wasn’t my fault!”
And then the mysterious man came running as fast as he could with his robotic legs and punched him out cold, almost killing him with his right metal arm.
Anyways, back to the other two.
Komo eventually made it out of the park and back onto the streets.
And as he went forward, he looked in the rearview mirror with a slight smirk on his face as he said, “Lost him…”
Until he popped back up from behind the bushes and was still hot on their tail.
With this, Komo was pissed as he then said with an annoyed look, “Damn it! He’s too fast.”
Thankfully, Komo spotted that they were passing by a nearby gas station around the block.
Komo saw this and had his smirk return while saying, “I’ve got an idea to slow him down.”
He then made a sharp left again and into the gas station, which he then started doing circles around the pumps.
From there, the mysterious man was dumb enough to still follow the car in a circle, and once Komo saw this, he then said to the Corona, “Corona check the glove box for my gun.”
The Corona then said out loud, “What are you talking about, we need to… oh cool, look there’s a gun in the glove box.”
The Corona went ahead and opened the glove box and found a standard hand gun with some ammo in it. From there, he looked at Komo while showing the gun to him.
Komo then said to the Corona, “Alright, when I say to, aim and shoot at the gas tank by the pumps as much as you can.”
The Corona then asked him, “How many times?”
Komo then said with a smirk, “You’ll know when.”
And then Komo then stopped making circles around the gas pumps and headed for the exit of the gas station.
From there as soon as they were clear, Komo yelled out to the corona, “Do it now!”
And then the Corona, rolling back his window down quickly, leaned outward a bit, aimed at the white gas tanks by the gas pumps, and started shooting like crazy. And without much of an issue, and much practice, the Corona was able to shoot enough bullets to cause a leakage of gasoline all over the place that then triggered a big explosion, that then caused the mysterious man to be pushed back by the sheer force of the explosion and knocking him out cold.
As soon as the Corona did this, he got back in to the car, rolled up his window and said to him, “Huh… didn’t know I could shoot a gun.”
Komo didn’t say another word as they kept on driving into the distance, getting far, far away from the mysterious man. However, the mysterious man was a little hard to put down as he then slowly, but painfully got up.
He knew he had lost his target as he then put two fingers up to his right ear and spoke into an ear piece and said, “Yeah… it’s me… Yeah I found him. I was chasing him and… almost had him. I know I know… I… but… understood. I’ll be coming back to base then.”
And then he got off the phone to his superiors as he then said to himself quietly, “Run as much as you like Corona. But your fate will catch up to you. The ones that are in power will have you one way or another… run while you can… I’ll find you eventually you bastard…”
And then the mysterious man started to walk away. As for the other two, Komo started to slow down his and speed and as soon as he felt the two of them were safe, he took a route to the nearby woods and followed a dirt path to a secure place that he knew, far from the prying eyes of the city and cameras and such.
As soon as he got to a secluded spot out in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night and came to a complete stop, Komo put it in park and the Corona said to him, “Well then. That was a ride for sure. Not many can say they been through an experience like that. Well I best get going and…”
Komo cut him and said to him, “shut up! And stay in your seat… we’ve got business to discuss.”
He wasn’t looking happy and looked rather tired. The Corona, already have to deal with the mysterious man, said with a nervous tone in his voice, “What uh… what kind of business are we talking about here?”
Komo slowly looked towards the Corona as he then said to him, “I’ve been looking for you up and down the city, let alone this entire damn country just to find you. You were hard to find, that’s for sure, and they certainly put an alibi on you. But I was able to find you. Tell me Corona… what do you know of another universe… a certain universe filled with talking ponies and magic?”
And I’ll leave you off from there. Well that was a good session huh? Why even bother writing this down you may ask? Why not just lie to Wolf since he’ll never read this? Well… just because… a bet is a bet.
Well, I’ll see you guys some other time when I write again in this ol’ journal of mine. And believe me, me and him crossed paths eventually so it’s important to tell the tale of the Corona I suppose… it means something… like 9/11 or something… ok good night I’m out of here… back to Cantorlot I suppose…
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m got to go give Wolf a good punch in the arm for him making me do this.
The Corona will return… next year at this time… maybe…
Universal Magic Presents: The My Little Pony: Universal Magic 10th Anniversary Special Spectacular!
10 Years: (The 10th Anniversary Universal Magic Special SPECTACULAR!)
“10. 10. 10. 10. 10. 10. 10. 10. 10. 10. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. Decimal. Tenfold. Decade. Decagon. Decennium. Decennary. DECAGONAL. DECENNIAL. TEN-SPOT. DECAPOD. DECEMVIRATE. TEN! TEN! TEN! THEN YEARS! TEN YEARS! TEN YEARS,” as I was saying to myself as I stood in my living room in my library home in Stalia; all the while staring off into dead space while having a sickly worried look in my eyes. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to start this whole thing off.
To simply put, there was another little moment in my life along with the boys. And one that I will have to write for you guys because Wolf won the bet… remember?
Ok? Ok so moving on.
So it was about who knows what time it was. Maybe it was the early morning hours. Perhaps it was only mid day. Or perhaps even the sun was stuck in the middle of the sky and didn’t want to move because it was a Mexican… and it didn’t even have a green card. Whatever time it was and the reason for that time didn’t matter. It was just another day it had seemed. The sun was out. The sky was mostly clear. And everyone seemed to have been fine and lived their own lives like everyone else usually does until they all seemed to have disappeared. Meanwhile, me and the guys were losing our fucking minds. Where should I begin?
It all had started the previous night before. I was asleep, dreaming of lollipops and gum drops, or whatever that can give me type two diabetes. And then all of a sudden I see a mysterious figure in my dreams far off into the distance amongst the hills and the trees. And then as the shadowy figure got closer and closer to me, it all started to have a bad feeling to it all. I started to feel uncomfortable, like something bad was going to happen to me, yet I couldn’t stop it. The lollipops turned to dust while the gum drops had turned into icky but possibly yummy goo… green goo that could only come from a green gooey monster of some kind that would probably want to butt fuck you.
Look, even green gooey monsters need love too. They’re just not getting any from me; they can go to the next town over. That’s where all the gays are at. They’ll take anything up their butt. Even the Duke controller. But not me. Hey, if a skeleton wants to do extensive research there, then that skeleton can do it. Just take twenty one steps away from my butt crack.
Anyways, my dreams started to go dark and turn upside down with a frown. It was bad. It was really, really, really fucking bad. And there was nothing that I could do but have wide eyes, a gaping mouth, and trying my best to run away from the shadowy figure. But the dream could only end one way; and it was with the mysterious figure coming towards me and taking me away from my good dreams that I was having.
As it had grabbed a hold of me with a good grip, it started to spout out of its mouth the end times. It babbled on about time itself and how it was all a ticking time bomb and that my end will come. And then it started spouting out numbers. More specifically the number ten. Oh god the number ten. It wouldn’t shut up about it. It just kept going and going in an endless loop about the number ten. And then I woke up… at 10:10 P.M.
My eyes were all red from being woken up so suddenly with my heart pounding against my chest and adrenaline hitting my veins. I was wide awake and not going back to sleep anytime soon I had thought. And I couldn’t forget the figure either. And with all dreams, they either mean jack shit or they are a warning of things to come. And my mind couldn’t think of anything else no matter how hard that I tried.
So from that point forward, I remained up throughout all hours of the night while Wolf was sleeping his ass off in his bed. And from that point forward, I couldn’t help but go downstairs to my living room and think nothing but the number ten. But I didn’t stop there. I then went ahead and wrote down the number ten on all the pieces of paper that I had with me; painted it with whatever liquid that I had that would stick onto a surface; and I wrote and spoke all forms of the word ten nonstop.
It had to mean something. IT HAD TO MEAN SOMETHING! SOMETHING WAS COMING! SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT! IT WAS FUCKING TEN! And worst part… I saw the figure from my dreams knocking on the window in the middle of the night. I couldn’t make out a face, but it was the figure as I could feel it within my bones. MY BONES!
And I just stood there, watching the widows and the skies… waiting for something to happen… to come… to see the end of days…
And all the while I just stood there, staring off into dead space and just entered into some kind of trance saying the word ‘Ten’ over and over and over until the morning came. At 10:10 A.M., Wolf finally came down, having a hangover, and looking for some more beer to take his headache away.
He came down walking down the stairs like some kind of recovering drunkard, but still couldn’t quite get a grip on himself. But he made it down the steps eventually with enough effort. He then had wide eyes and was fully awake once he saw me and the mess that I had made with pace while he was asleep; probably about fucking some mare in the ass… anally speaking of course…
Wolf said once he came down the steps as he scanned the room before him in shock, “What the fuck happened here!?”
He then noticed me with my back towards him as he carefully approached me with a sort of half worried look on his face. From there, he slowly walked around me and tried to place his right wooden paw on my left pony shoulder. My eyes remained forward and continued to stare into a blank space while I had my worried look in my eyes still.
But once Wolf placed his wooden paw on my pony shoulder, I was then startled while letting out a pretty big yelp to go along with it. I had jumped back a bit and almost fell on my pony ass as I was starting to shake with fear and my mind was trying to frightfully scan the room for anything dangerous. It was like I was timid as I lifted my right forearm up and kept it there, cowering in fear for what I saw in my future. Wolf then became worried with a scared look in his eyes and was concerned for me for once in his life.
Wolf then tilted his head slightly to the left and said to me while keeping his space between me, “Hey… are you ok there buddy? Is everything… alright with you?”
I then said to him while finally noticing him with my own eyes as I remained in my defensive state with a scared voice, “W-W-Wolf… is that y-you? I-Is that really you?”
Wolf then started to walk towards me slowly as he then began scanning the room around him and looking at what I had done.
As he was doing that, he asked me with curiosity in his voice, “What happened here? Are you starting to go insane or something?”
I then put my right forearm down and grabbed Wolf with both of my hooves and looked deep into his light green filled eyes. I got close to his face to make sure he was going to hear what I had to say to him. And Wolf had wide, shocked eyes, as his wooden ears flipped a little bit backwards and was scared as to what I had become.
I then said to him as clear and as alert as I possibly have could to him, “We need to get out of here Wolf! Something BIG is coming! We don’t have a lot of time I tell ya! We don’t have a lot of time! THE END IS NEAR! AND IT COMES IN TENS! WE’RE DOOMED!!!”
Wolf then quickly pulled away from me and was a little weirded out by my stance.
He said to me as he pushed me away with his left wooden paw, “Calm down dude. What the hell are you even blabbering about? We’re not doomed. It’s only Wednesday.”
I started to twitch a little bit as my eyes darted around the room like a drug addict. I started to slowly back up, afraid for my own soul, afraid that it may be taken by someone or something.
I then said to him with worry as Wolf stared back in confusion, “It’s even worse than Wednesday Wolf.”
Wolf tilted his head to the side slightly with a raised eyebrow and asked me, “Worse than Wednesday? Thursday?”
I then said as I continued to back up slowly with fear in my heart, “Even worse than that!”
Wolf was shocked and had wide eyes as he jutted his head a bit forward as he asked me, “Don’t tell me it’s Labor Day!”
I then cut to the point as my back reached the wall as I bumped into it, trying to cover my bases as I looked around like a scared deer, “It’s worse than that. It’s worse than Martin Luther King Day! IT’S EVEN WORSE THAN two for one at Bosleys!”
I had wide eyes with pulsating eyeballs. I was scared out of my mind as I screamed to the top of my lungs, hoping someone might hear me and save me. TK wasn’t going to help. Not even he can escape what was coming. I saw the signs. And it wasn’t an ace… in a base…
No, it was coming for us all. And as for Wolf, Wolf was starting to look more worried than me. He looked like he was ready to pull out his… sticks… from his head and bite on his Timber Wolf nails.
I then said out loud to him as I looked at him from afar, “It’s worse than any of those! It’s… ”
I was then scarred and jumped while giving out a little yelp. There was a knock on the window nearby. I was frightened. I knew what it was, that sound, who was there on the other side of that glass I didn’t want to look, but I had to. So I slowly turned my head towards my right and looked over at the window. And there it was… staring at me… with a smile.
An evil smile; mocking me; teasing my utter doom that was soon to be. I had no words. Nothing to speak of. My mouth was agape. All I could do was look in horror.
I then slowly raised my left pony forearm and simply said to Wolf in a scared little voice, “He’s here…”
Wolf looked over in horror too, anticipating what he had thought was a monster. And that monster tapping on the glass… was another pony who had a gray coat color. He was completely bald, wore a pair of black glasses, and wore a completely lime green body suit for some reason; probably because of it’s fetish. And the worst part of all, it had a piece of paper taped to his fore and front body with the number ‘10’ written in blue crayon. And it wasn’t even in perfect writing, but it looked like a child had drawn on it. But do not let that fool you.
Even though he spoke like a he, he was an it. And it was a monster in disguise. Mocking us, teasing us our own demise. I looked in horror, scared, helpless even. But Wolf, he just didn’t get it. He simply stood there dumbfounded and looked like he had just seen two flies fucked in a can of green soup.
He was slightly shaking his head as he looked over towards me as he asked me, “You’re afraid of that douchebag looking mother fucker?”
He started to laugh a little; gave a little chuckle while laughing in the face of death. I just looked at him thinking he just didn’t know it yet. But the pony knocking at the window continued to knock away and grabbed both of our attention.
He had a wide smirk across his face as he teased us and it’s high pitched voice, “Hey guys! Why won’t you let me in!? Come on! I’m just your friend! You know you want me in there!”
I then had an annoyed look form on my face as I took a step towards the window and yelled at him, “No! You get out of here now! I already told you that I won’t let you do this to me! You can’t end me! Not like this! So what if it has already been ten years since we started living here!? You can’t make us grow older!”
Wolf then looked at me in confusion yet surprised as he asked me, “Wait, we’ve been living here for ten years? I thought it’s only been like… two or something?”
I then looked back at him with calm and mellowed eyes and explained to him, “Well yeah. But metaphorically we have been here for ten years. It was in the housing contract agreement that we had to sign in order to live here in Stalia.”
Wolf then started to get a little pissed as he then asked me, “We signed? I don’t remember signing anything!”
I then explained to him calmly while being a little pushy, “Well you didn’t want to stop harassing that intern at the help desk. So I had forge your signature. I told you this when we left and when we moved in here. But all you did was got black out drunk and told me to leave you alone unless I had some blow for you.”
Wolf then stood his ground while saying, “I was not harassing. I was simply performing the art of the pickup line.”
I then shot back and said, “I don’t think ‘Let me clap that sweet ass of yours honey’ is a good pick up line.”
Wolf then said back to me with a slight smile, “Yeah well it worked well in that bar in Cantorlot.”
I then shot back again by saying to him, “That was because it was last call at 2 in the morning and those mares were desperate to find someone that didn’t beat them senseless.”
As me and Wolf were bickering back and forth about previous events from our past, the 10 Pony, as I’ll call the monster that, was getting annoyed by not paying any attention to him.
He was trying to bottle all of his anger and emotions in, but it was too much as he then let it all out by yelling through the window, “Will you two just shut up! I don’t even care if you forged his signature. You signed a contract when you chose to live here! And now your time is coming up! After ten years has passed, you owe us! Your Time! Your money! Part of your soul! You owe us all of it!”
I then looked at him with anger and determination and said, “I don’t owe you shit!”
Then the 10 Pony asked me with a smug grin, “Then why don’t you come out then?”
I then said in a nervous state while trying to look professional, “W-Well I-I-I just don’t feel like doing it today. So uhhh… just go away… forever… ”
The 10 Pony then said with a large grin across his face, “Ohhhhhh… you’ll have to come out sometime. They always do. And when you do, you’re mine. You’re going to suffer the consequences for having … ten… In the meantime… I think I’ll just pay your friends a little visit. I think their times are coming up too… he he he he…. Ha ha ha ha ha ha… ! You can’t escape the metaphorical ten years that we made you sign! You can never escape!? It’s all in the mind and you lost! HA HA HA HA!!!”
And then the 10 Pony slid away like a sly fox and left. I then breathed a sigh of relief as I wiped away a drip of sweat from my brow.
Wolf however looked at me and asked, “How does metaphorical years work even anyway?”
I just looked at him with a bit of a cynical look in my eyes as I said to him while shrugging my pony shoulders at him, “How should I know? I don’t make the rules. I just roll with whatever’s happening by this point. You think I even know this shit?”
Wolf then stared into empty space as he then said to me, “Huh…”
JACK’S PLACE:
As me and Wolf were hunkering down the bunker, the 10 Pony went to check on the other guys. Over at Jack’s place in the middle of Stalia, all was normal like usual. Everything was calm, yet there was no one in sight. It was almost as if everyone knew the scent of death was nearby and they all ran for the hills. Hell, I would run for it too if I knew if my end was nearby too… that’s only if the local ice cream man was in town. Don’t trust his truck.
Run.
Not because he has the dead bodies in there. No that’s the Korean food truck. What I’ talking about is that he only has the one eyed SpongeBob ice cream and not the Sonic one. What kind of monster would do that?
Anyways, Jack was essentially all alone. However he had never noticed nor cared. In fact, Jack was busy, but looked pissed and annoyed. He didn’t want to be bothered as he was minding his own business. He had a record playing in the background, a loud metal song that sounded like garbage. The artist was screaming like a dying hippo on acid. But hey, Jack was hardcore like that sometimes. So as Jack was at his work bench creating something classy for a client, the 10 Pony was lurking somewhere nearby.
Meanwhile, Jack was trying his best to fix a broken piece of art someone had brought to him to fix. And he needed to be flawless about it. It needed to be where it didn’t look like it was broken. It was a little restoration project you could say. Sure, it was more for creating his own classy things, but he was mostly a freelancer sometimes. If it helped pay the bills, then he’ll do it. But only if it was his kind of style.
They don’t call him Classy for nothing. And so as Jack was paying close attention to the edges, the 10 Pony was at his door, waiting. The loud metal music was blaring in the background as Jack was looking at dead center on the broken art object and trying to carefully move the two pieces together with his with his magic emitting from his horn.
He was saying under his breath quietly, “Careful… careful… careful…”
But all of that would be ruined when he heard a loud, disturbing, sudden knock come from his door. It threw him off and he accidently pushed the two pieces together, breaking it into even more pieces and wasting all of his hard work thus far.
He eyes immediately turned into fire as he yelled out, “SON OF A BITCH!”
He gritted his teeth and looked like he was ready to kill. He instantly snapped to the door and went straight over there as the music continued to get louder and louder.
As he swung open the door, he had fury in his heart as he asked The 10 Pony without recognizing him, “WHAT!?”
The 10 Pony just had a smirk, while still looking like some kind of a virgin nerd that no girl would dare fuck, even if it was out of pity. But he stood there as if he was all high and mighty once Jack opened the door, almost as if he had clout. But that quickly changed as The 10 Pony stated to jump up and down and from side to side as he raised his left hoof up. Jack was not amused as his eye followed him, waiting for the moment to hit him in the face.
The 10 Pony said to Jack in a gay kind of tone, “It is I Jack! I have come to collect what you owe. Now the bill is due, don’t look so blue. You had your time to fly, but now it’s your time to say goodbye!”
The 10 Pony then stopped bouncing and raised both of his hooves high in the air as he could as he stood on his back legs while gritting his teeth with a weird grin. But Jack didn’t care.
All Jack said to him after he did his little dance with annoyance in his tone, “Are you some kind of faggot friend of Forrest or something? Get the FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!”
Jack yelled at that last part while straining his neck, trying to assert his dominance in the conversation. But The 10 Pony didn’t give up that easily. He then went and grabbed a piece of paper from his ass, literally, that was a document and held it up to Jack’s face for him to see. The 10 Pony didn’t say a single word about it; he just did it without context. As soon as Jack saw it though and didn’t mention anything about the ass thing, he still wasn’t amused. He was still pissed he was interrupted.
He then raised his right hoof and forced the document down and asked him with a tone, “So? What does your gay piece of paper have to do with you fucking with me when I’m working?”
The 10 Pony then said with a smile while still holding on to the paper as it was lowered by Jack, “Your time is up Classy Jack! 10 Years have passed since you signed it!”
Jack continued to be annoyed and not caring as he looked like he wanted to kill him still with his bare hands… hooves… whatever…
Jack then said to him with confidence, “That was 7 years ago when I moved here. Not 10 you dumbass.”
Even though it looked like Jack wanted to punch him in the face, the 10 Pony went on and said to him while moving around like a clown, “Oh but this is 10 metaphorical years Classy Jack. And those years go by pretty fast. And now your time is up and you’re now mine! So how about you don’t make a fuss and come with me or else you’ll make me cuss!”
Jack then rolled his eyes as he put his right hoof to his chin as if he was thinking about something.
Jack said to him as he tried to think of a response and said, “Hmmm… let me think on that for a bit. Let me see uhh… FUCK YOU!”
Jack was about to slam the door in his face, but The 10 Pony caught him in time by sticking his left hoof in the door. Jack was not pleased by this. But The 10 Pony got close to the door and said with a threat in his voice, “If you don’t come, then I’ll just have to take your little brother in your absence.” He had said it in such an evil, slimy way.
But Jack didn’t care as he then said back to The 10 Pony, “White? Go ahead and take him. He’s dead to me anyways that little shit.”
The 10 Pony almost lost his cool and was starting to doubt himself. But he figured he could get Jack to crack somehow.
So he then said to Jack still with his evil smile, “Ok then, how about your home and your personal little business, hmmm?”
Jack then said bluntly to him, “You’ve got about 5 seconds to get out of here before I cave your face in with my hooves.”
The 10 Pony was not easily threatened by acts of violence. Nothing could hurt him. Only in metaphorical terms could he be harmed.
So the 10 Pony quickly said to him, “If you don’t come right now, your interest rates will rise and you’ll be audited…”
Jack then quickly asked very quickly out of curiosity, “How high of the rates are we talking about here?”
The 10 Pony then whispered to him very closely, “By Twenty One point Fourteen percent. And that includes the taxes you still owe from last year too.”
Then Jack quickly asked another question, “What about my pet Cobra? I can still write him off tax wise since he’s foreign right?”
The 10 Pony then whispered back with a shaking head and his smirk, “Not under this year’s new tax codes. And we know about your second hidden pet Bull dog in your second home in Manehatten that you like to evade on your taxes.”
Then there was silence for what felt like eleven whole seconds. During that time, Jack just had a normal looking face on as he stared back at The 10 Pony. The 10 Pony was however hanging his head down while looking at him with a grin and some sly, evil eyes. After the seconds had passed, Jack turned into me and was scarred all of a sudden. He wasn’t too great with his finances. That’s why he took commissions sometimes. But none of that mattered as Jack was off and went for the hills. And when I mean by hills, he started running towards my library home as he left the door open. Now his energy bill is going to be up high, oh no…
But as Jack was running for me, he was screaming in desperate help, “KNIIIIIIGHT! PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE A SPELL TO FIX THIS!”
As Jack was running away, The 10 Pony just stood there, smile and all. He was almost as insane as Neon was.
He yelled out to Jack as he was running away from him, “RUN ALL YOU WANT, (JACK)! YOU CAN’T RUN FOREVER! I WILL FIND YOU! YOUR SOUL NOW BELONGS TO REALITY!”
MAC’S HOME:
While Jack was dealing with the 10 Pony and making a run for it, it was also Mac’s turn. The10 Pony is an odd character and is more powerful than you think. So while The10 Pony was at Jack’s place, taunting him, he was also at Mac’s place at the same time. With Mac, he was all by his lonesome self. There was no one else around, not even Shadow.
Other than the sounds of birds chirping in the nearby trees a slight gust of wind every now and then, there was no one else around. It was as if they all had disappeared without a trace. But to Mac, he didn’t care; just like Jack, he never noticed stuff like that, Mac especially. Mac was just all by himself with his troubled self outside, minding his own business. He was sitting down and had his pony back to one of his apple trees that was near his house.
His right hoof was on the ground flat, to keep himself sort of balanced and from not slouching over while the other hoof had a nice, cold beer bottle in it. And somehow with his hooves, he was able to grip it. I still don’t get how the ponies do it in this universe, but whatever. And for Mac, it was just him and his beer bottle as he sat there right up to the back of the tree. His head titled as he chugged the beer like an alcoholic like how Wolf was as he gulped it all down. And after he had swallowed it all, he gave a swift sigh as his mind was out of it all. Within his own mind, he was drunk.
But deeper within his own mind, he had his fears, doubts, worries, and many thoughts that I wouldn’t even touch with a thirty foot poll. Even if it was sanitized with bleach. It was that bad. But despite his inner thoughts that made him more complex than what he usually was, that part was not in control. For ninety nine percent of the time, it was never in control. Only in those rare moments was it ever in control. Instead, the drunken, idiot part of his brain was in full custody of his body. And so after drinking his sip of beer with a very drunken look in his eyes and a face that looked like he didn’t want to be bothered, he looked towards his home.
When he did, he yelled out to it, “Hey Shadow! Come get your fucking ass over here so I can hit you some more! I promise as your big brother it won’t be a little bit! Wait, I don’t think I should have said that. I meant that it won’t hurt a lot! It’s just some good ol’ fashion interaction brother bonding! Not come out here now so I can give you a Buffalo Burn Arm! Shadow! SHADOW!”
After a while of no response, Mac gave another sigh. But this time it was a sad sigh as he turned his head down towards the grass.
He hung his head in despair as he said to himself quietly, “They always leave me don’t they?”
And then Mac started to get lonely with his thoughts. He never liked being alone with his thoughts. But that was quickly interrupted as a shadow overcame his own. Mac saw this and couldn’t help but look up to see who it was. It was The 10 Pony standing tall and above him, with a smirk and all. He was excited that he had a new thing to play with. With Mac, he looked up at him and was immediately pissed. His eyes were filled with anger and jealously for some reason.
He said drunkenly to The 10 Pony while loosely pointing at him with his right hoof, “Who the hell are you? You’re not supposed to be here. This is my farm, and I won it fair and square damn it! At least that’s what they tell me… I don’ remember damn it.”
The 10 Pony then responded to him, ignoring his comments, “Do you know what time it is Mac Farmer?”
Mac then said with a look that only a drunk person could make while in his usual stereotypical southern accent, “I don’t know… a quarter past breeding?”
The 10 Pony then had a slight look of confusion as he then asked Mac, “Breeding? What the… fuck?”
Mac quickly took a sip of his beer before explaining to him, “Yeah… you know… the usual farm stuff. A half dead eaten pig. A headless chicken running. Apples. Getting ready for the coming apocalypse. Apples. Getting the gun when the government comes a knocking, apples, and sodomy. Oh and Apples with the sodomy.”
The 10 Pony then looked a little disgusted with a hint of repulsion, “Ewww… is sodomy even legal?”
Mac then said while pointing his beer bottle at him, “It is on my farm.”
But then Mac had a slightly annoyed look on his face as he said to him while pointing his beer bottle again, “But only if I know who it is first. And as long as I call first dibs. I don’t care if it’s your wife. SHE’S MINE!”
The10 Pony looked like he wanted to move while remaining in a state of confusion as he said to Mac with shifty eyes, “Uhhh… ok… but uhh, that’s not what I mean. I mean it is your time to come with me.”
The 10 Pony then tried to put a serious, yet smirky look back on his face. But Mac looked at him a little bit more and started to realize something.
Mac said with an angered look in his eyes as he came to the hint of the idea, “Hey!... Wait just a cotton picking minute here!”
Mac then proceeded to get up on all four of his pony legs while throwing his beer bottle away despite not being empty. He threw the partly empty beer about fourteen feet from himself. And since it was glass of course, it shattered into tiny pieces once it hit the ground despite that should not have happened. It was the soft dirt, yet somehow Mac wasn’t good at taking care of his land as it was rock hard. But that’s beside the point.
As Mac got up, he got up and personally went to The 10 Pony’s face as he then said him while squinting his eyes at him, “I’ve never seen you around here before in my life.”
The 10 Pony was starting to think he had him and was going to slowly reel him in. He thought he had gotten back on track as his grin grew larger by the second.
But Mac ruined that for him as he then said to him while poking him with his left hoof, “You’re one of Applejack’s fuck buddies aren’t you?”
The 10 Pony went back to being confused again as he said with a dumbfound face, “Excuse me, what?”
Mac still in his drunken state said while raising his left hoof, “Yeah… YEAH! I remember you. I saw you in my cousin’s bed once. And you were mounting her too! What do you want?! The secret ingredient to my world famous apples huh!? WELL YOU’RE NOT GETTING IT!”
With his last sentence, he got up real close to his face, almost standing taller than The 10 Pony for a few seconds. The 10 Pony didn’t know what to say.
So he said with a confident and straight face, yet slightly offended, “I-I have never done such a thing! I’ll have you know that I’m still a virgin.”
Mac then started to snicker a bit by what he said.
Mac then pointed at him with his left hoof while taken aback a bit and laughing and saying, “Ha ha ha… you’re still a virgin. At least I fucked something. I fucked a hoe. And now that hoe is my bitch!”
The 10 Pony then said with a shocked, yet confused face, “What!?”
Mac just continued to point and laugh as he yelled at him, “Ha ha ha… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… what a fucking nerd! You didn’t even fuck your own sister I bet!”
The 10 Pony said in an obvious shock face, “Uhhh… no… ”
Mac then said while laughing his guts out at him, “That’s even more lame… cause jokes on you… I DON’T EVEN HAVE A SISTER…. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA… I think… ”
And then Mac stared back at The 10 Pony blankly. His mind was a wonder as The 10 Pony started to feel a little disturbed, yet no words could describe what he was feeling. The 10 Pony looked around, seeing if something else was going around him or if he should do something. But he couldn’t. Meanwhile Mac was trying to remember something. But he couldn’t as all of the years of alcohol abuse had started to catch up to him.
His brain cells couldn’t remember what he wanted to remember. It had warped his mind into something else. Not jelly like most minds, but something more hidden. What he wanted to remember was still in there somewhere. Yet, he couldn’t’ get it out for the life of him. It was almost like he was reliving a terrible memory from along ago as he continued to stare past The 10 Pony. And The 10 Pony didn’t like this. He was starting to feel a little unease. Mac was like a ticking time bomb of delusions and a destructive mind. He was waiting to black out and throw a fit of rage out of some fake jealousy that he had for Applejack. Yet he didn’t quite know what to think about.
For all he knew, it was all true about the rumors running around town. But was it true? Was it true that Mac was a killing machine of some sorts? Or perhaps was it someone else. Or something? Who knew? Mac was a hard nut to crack as he acted weird around him.
So The 10 Pony broke him out of his trance and told him as loud and best as he could while trying to retain a serious face, “Y-Your time is up Mac Farmer. The contract that you signed with Stalia once the house and the farm was inherited to you was 10 metaphorical years ago! And now y-your soul and time belongs to me now!”
Mac then came out of his blank stare trance as he then said while rubbing his head with his left hoof and rolling his eyes and looking at the back of himself, “Really… 10 years? I thought it was 14 when I signed that thing? I need to talk with a lawyer about this…”
Then Mac looking front of him and put his left hoof on his chin as he said, “But I don’t have no fancy money for no fancy lawyer… ”
Mac then shrugged it off and said to himself, “I’ll just get Knight to handle the doo hickey then. He’ll know hat to do. He has all them fancy books at his place.”
And then Mac started to walk in his drunken state back to my library house without a care for his himself.
As he was walking away, he swiftly looked back at The 10 Pony with anger and said while pointing his left hoof at him, “Don’t you go anywhere you fucking scum eating shit for brain! I’m watching you… I know you’re one of Applejack’s spies. And I can prove it in court too! Just you watch!”
And then Mac went on to stumble his way to my home while mumbling to himself. Once Mac was out of range, The 10 Pony breathed a sigh of relief and wiped a sweat from his brow.
He looked worried while saying to himself, “He was more intense than I had thought. They do not pay me enough to deal with this stuff. Hopefully the next one isn’t so mentally unstable… ”
FORRST’S PLACE:
As Jack was busy meeting The 10 Pony and Mac was drinking his brain cells away while stumbling and mumbling some words, The 10 Pony was on his way to Forrest as well. The 10 Pony looked like an Earth pony, however that didn’t stop The 10 Pony. The 10 Pony was not of this world, perhaps not even of this universe.
It didn’t matter what obstacles you placed in his way; one way or another, he was coming for your ass. And Forrest, as innocent as he tried to be, his days were numbered. Or should I say his number was up… like Pinkie Pie from Cupcake. Hey I read it… it was a funny story filled with nothing wrong with it. It’s completely innocent and filled with morals and values for everyone to learn from. Like for example when your number comes up. You’re fucked. Just like how Forrest was.
The 10 Pony just somehow arrived on clouds that were above and near Stalia just as much as he was in multiple places at once. He had a grin of confidence and was ready to strike on his next victim. He walked on the clouds like they were just part of the ground. And for him, he was at the place where he needed to be, Forrest’s cloud home in the sky. He walked right up to home as it was surrounded by big, fluffy, white clouds and was about to raise his left hoof to gently knock on the door. But before The 10 Pony could even knock, Forrest opened right away with a smile. The 10 Pony wasn’t surprised by this though as he still had confidence in his smile. In fact, he didn’t make a single thought at all… I’m sure of it… But for Forrest, he seemed like he knew what he was doing.
As soon as Forrest opened up the door with a welcoming smile to The 10 Pony; he said to him with a friendly manner while closing his eyes and hovering in mid air, “Hello, hello! I’ve been expecting you know! Come, come, come right on in here! He he…”
Forrest moved out of the way and let The 10 Pony in. The 10 Pony kindly obliged and waltzed right on in. As The 10 Pony entered Forrest’s big cloud home, he looked at what Forrest had done to his little living area. He had a set of tea, hot and ready along with two little tea cups and the fixings for it and some biscuits ready for consumption. All on the coffee table, arranged neatly like how a faggot would do, which Forrest is. Not literally though, sorry, but he’s already taken… by his right hand, back off gentleman. Oh fuck I mean hoof… hoof… oh whatever.
You know what the fuck I mean… And so anyways, as Forrest’s cloud home looked nicely everywhere, it didn’t matter to The 10 Pony. If he needed to, he would burn it all down in seconds to collect what was owed. And you could read that all on his little confident little smile of his. And so Forrest closed the front door and gently flew from the door to the couch while retaining his warm, signature smile.
He said to The 10 Pony as he flew passed him slightly, “Come, come, sit! Have some tea that I just made. I would be delighted if you stayed for a while after all!”
And so without a single word, The 10 Pony played along and sat in the big, comfy chair with a hint of an accent to it. He plopped his fake pony ass on it and just kept his little grin, keeping an eye on Forrest as he too sat down on his couch. He still did not say a word either. From there, Forrest grabbed the hot tea pot with both of his hooves and poured some into his cup and The 10 Pony’s cup as well.
As he was doing this, Forrest struck up a conversation, “I don’t usually get many guests. And my friends don’t usually come up here, so this is a pleasant welcome for me to have you. I don’t usually drink tea. I’m more of an Iced Tea pony myself, but I think it’s nice to try new things.”
As Forrest was pouring The 10 Pony’s tea, he looked at him and asked him, “Would you like two sugar cubes with your tea?”
Forrest smiled as The 10 Pony just continued to sit there in silence, looking like a statue that was ready to kill at any point. But this didn’t seem to bother Forrest at first as he gave a slight chuckle to it.
Forrest said as he was grabbing some of the sugar cubes, “he he he… oh what am I asking for? You’re such a sweet guy after all that of course you would rather have four cubes of sugar!”
Forrest then grabbed four little cubes of sugar and plopped it into The 10 Pony’s tea. He then proceeded to grab two little cubes of sugar for him and plopped it into his teeth. He then relaxed his body muscles and picked up the tea somehow with his right hoof and said while trying to be as nice and as innocent as possible to his new guest.
Forrest said while taking tiny sips of his tea, “So… I hear you’re in the collecting business huh? Well, that sounds just wonderful! It sounds like quite the life. You know I have a nice little life of my own?”
The 10 Pony continued to grin in silence at Forrest like a predator eyeing its prey and making no sounds.
Forrest continued without making a comment about the unnerving silence, “Yeah I know. It’s a big deal to have a life. But it’s really nothing. It’s just little ol’ me… Forrest Fire. I don’t do anything important, and I don’t do anything bad either. I-In fact… I’m not even in debt. Not one thing I owe. Nope… not at all. Can you believe it?”
The 10 Pony was waiting for his moment to strike at Forrest. It could have been at any second.
Forrest went while smiling and gesturing towards him with his free hoof to try and talk to him, “So you know how those things go huh? Sad that if someone has to pay. But nope… not me… not me at all. I am perfect and innocent right here, and I did nothing wrong. Not one single thing. I am totally clean like my cum rag… I mean my rug… I meant to say my rug. I like to keep it nice and clean for my guests… which is YOU. In fact all of my guests can ask anything from me at all and I’ll do it because they are so wonderful and I cherish them so deeply as if they were a good friend of mine. I could help balance their check book. I could help them clean their gutters. I could perhaps even give them something that they really want. And in return I want nothing at all other than the complete and total silence of my home and my soul… I mean my sole of my winter boots of course. He he he… By the way, you have the nicest smile that I have ever seen… has anypony told you that?”
Forrest was starting to get somewhat nervous towards the end. He was starting to lose it and break down. He was blowing his cover. So he tried his best to save it at the last second, all the while looking at The 10 Pony, leaning in towards him and trying to be as friendly as he could. But still no response from him. Only the deadly silence. Forrest retrained his signature smile though, albeit, with a sense of nervousness attached to it. He even let out a gulp, thinking he may have fucked up somewhere along the way.
He was starting to sweat bullets. But The 10 Pony decided to let him have it all.
The 10 Pony said calmly and kindly towards to him as he slowly got up from his chair to overshadow Forrest, “Do you think for a moment that you can sway my mind from your little tea party? That’s… that’s really cute. The thing is, you can try to squirm all you want, but your soul and time is still mine at the end of the day. And you will be mine. And let’s face it Forrest, you’re bad at lying. Hell, you’re bad at being innocent.”
The 10 Pony started to get closer and closer to Forrest as he leaned in on towards him. As this was happening, Forrest started to become scared as he slowly back up and cowered deep into the couch as The 10 Pony towered him with a grin of evil intent. Forrest usually liked having adventures on his own where he felt like he could have some confidence within himself. But this was something he could not have an ounce of it to begin with. He seemed like he was fucked.
The 10 Pony continued on to say to him as Forrest folded his pony ears behind him, “We know that you’ve been stalking Rainbow Dash. That alone would get you put behind bars for life. But we also know you lie and cheat at times when you try to save your own ass. We also know all the pathetic shit that you do by yourself. And besides, you’re so weak, even a chicken shit eating loser can kick your ass. And the most offensive thing of all, you don’t even appreciate the life that you have. You’re too afraid to let yourself out and let others judge you. You want to remain hidden in these walls. Well guess what, you can’t do it. Reality says otherwise and will come and tear these walls down and make you join the rest of society. Either way, you signed a contract 11 years ago and now it’s time to pay the piper!”
As Forrest was cowering in fear and was pretty much in a fetal position on his couch, The 10 Pony briefly turned around and gently grabbed the cup of tea Forrest had made for him. He then brought it up to his face, took a tiny smell of it, and sipped like a gentleman and savored the taste from it.
The 10 Pony then rolled his eyes over to Forrest and said to him as he smacked his lips, “But I will say though, you do make a good cup of tea Forrest Fire.”
Forrest at the last second decided to make a maneuver that would partially ruin his home. But he didn’t care; he needed to get out as soon as he could.
So Forrest quickly got on all four of his pony legs while on his couch, arched his back like a cat, and yelled out, “Fuck this!”
So Forrest with wide eyes and a heart pumping with blood, he started to do signature move as he started to fly around in circles. He had hoped it would throw off The 10 Pony which of course it didn’t. But it would at least slow him down a little bit. As he quickly flew around in a tight circle inside his home, knocking things over left and right from picture frames to vases, he left a trailed of burning fire behind him. And after almost making a fire tornado, he bolted for his front door, crashing through it and zoomed past his home and towards my home without a word.
He knew where it was hypothetically safe at during these dire times. As for The 10 Pony, he was not amused, not shaken. He just stood there with a grin as he was sort of on fire. He calmly walked out of Forrest’s home and got up to the edge of the cloud and looked down.
He started to laugh like a villain from a cartoon as he said to himself, “Run my little rabbit… RUN! There is no place on this earth that is safe for you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha… he he he… he he…”
Then The 10 Pony started to sniff something from the air as he asked himself, “Is something burning?”
He then looked down at his left forearm and then noticed he was on fire.
His eyes lit up as he started to run around and panic, “Oh shit! I’m on fire! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! What is wrong with these ponies!?” He then tried to stop, drop, and roll. But he was on clouds and that made it a little harder to put out a fire. But where would he strike next you may ask?...
ARRELL’S PLACE:
Why at that fucker’s place of course! Well he isn’t a fucker. He’s more of a dick than anything. Jack’s the Asshole. Forrest is the faggot. Mac is the retard. Wolf is the comic relief. Neon is the devil, both metaphorical and literally in one case. And I’m the thing that keeps all of that together, otherwise known as cynicism as I’ve been told. I’d like to see myself as the only sane one and provide a voice of reason for the others, but hey, I’m not so wise myself I’ll admit. I literally burned down someone’s house once one night years ago.
I was drunk to be fair, but the guy had it coming of talking shit to me on the internet ok? I have that right as a Technicolor talking pony alright? Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, Arrell. Well Arrell’s place was doing just fine. No 10 Pony could be seen anywhere. However the skies were rather a bit ominous that day. It was a dark, ugly kind of gray. That kind of gray that you see almost like a tornado was coming.
That or a sign that god is pissed. Usually it’s both. Sometimes you shouldn’t shit talk about a black tornado or else it’s coming for you. But if you call the police in time, they might be able to put their knees on its neck or something. But it looked like that kind of sky; an ugly, god fearing sky that was ready to unleash whatever it wanted on to your face. And over by Arrell’s shed, Arrell himself was walking out of it with an angered look on his face as he was mumbling little words to himself.
He was saying slightly to him, “Those sons of bitches. I swear every time they have one of their fucking sacrificing parties, it drives up the electric and heating bill.”
As he was closing up the shed door, he was thinking to himself that he should maybe get back to his ‘against the laws of nature’ creatures that he had made and was keeping locked up in cage against their will by his home. Sure, they may have wanted to die, but he wasn’t going to let his little animal buddies die just like that. They would have to earn it first. After all, he needed them to fill a hole that me and the other guys couldn’t fill. Somewhere in his heart, there was a hole that needed to be filled. And who knows, maybe he needed to harvest one of their hearts to replace his own with, but who knows honestly. But as Arrell was ready to head back inside, he noticed that AssHat was outside and not inside.
Arrell had a look of curiosity on his face as he said while lightly lifting his front hoof up, “AssHat? What are you doing out here? This isn’t like you. Usually you’re in there getting ready for dinner. Unless… ”
Arrell had a look as if he was putting the pieces together. He started to look upward and noticed the ugly, dark, grey sky. He started to get a feeling in his gut that something was terribly wrong.
He said to himself, “That’s strange. The sky is awfully weird looking today. Something… feels wrong.”
Arrell then kept quiet, yet had a look of curiosity and fear formed on his face. He looked at AssHat, trying to figure it all out. He then started to scan the area; looking beyond the nearby trees and shrubs. But all he saw was the entrance into the Everfree Forest and nature being it’s normal self. As he was scanning, his eyes caught a figure off into the distance. However he didn’t think nothing of it at first until he had to double check it again.
He quickly looked back and saw a little figure, a pony figure off in the distance. Arrell tried to focus his eyesight on to it, but he couldn’t make it out. Yet, despite not being able to see it clear enough, deep down he knew what I was feeling as well. It was something terrible. Something he couldn’t prevent from happening. When the thought finally hit his head of who it was far away, he started to become scared.
He looked towards AssHat in fear as he said to him, “I always knew this day would come. Come on AssHat!”
Arrell then quickly swooped up AssHat with is right wing and ran straight for the cottage to prepare for what was coming with determination in his heart, yet fear in his mind. As for the figure off in the distance, it was who you were thinking of. And he had a big grin on his face. An uncanny valley kind of grin where it was unnatural and creepy to even look at it.
He wasn’t a pony after all. He only took the form of one. As for Arrell, he went inside, locked the doors and boarded it all up. He then quickly went over by the stairs, opened up a secret compartment and grabbed AssHat with his left hoof and placed him gently inside of it.
Arrell looked a little worried and a bit sad as he said to AssHat, “You’ll be safe here. I hope this will be over soon and we can eat tonight like how we planned. But don’t worry, I’ve got a plan. It isn’t much though. I didn’t have much time to plan, but hopefully it’ll be enough. But if I don’t make it back, then get the others and run into the Everfree Forest and never look back, you got that buddy?”
And for AssHat, he had heard what Arrell had said, but he was just a bunny and he just kind of fell over to one sight like a mute retard and didn’t do anything else. He was still breathing though, but still, he was just a bunny. He was probably just going to poop pellets and then eat it or something. But to Arrell it was enough as he smiled a little bit.
He then said to AssHat with a bit of hope in his voice and in his eyes, “It was nice knowing you too AssHat. I will make it out of this.”
He then took the cover for the secret compartment and put it back, while still leaving a crack big enough to give AssHat some air and some room to escape if need be. Once he was finished doing this, Arrell then had a look of determination on his face.
He knew he needed to face what was coming. In his mind, he knew he should have prepared more for his coming, but he was too busy with those fucking abominations that he called his animals. Hey, he still needed to make money somehow. But he ran out of time. So he had to go with what he had. So Arrell went behind one of the couches and grabbed out a big ol’ shotgun with the trigger being made in mind for a pony. It was heavy of course, so he had to grab it with both of his hooves. This meant he was standing on both of his back pony legs.
He then said to himself, “Come and get some you son of a bitch.”
He then cocked the gun and was ready for some action… until Arrell fucked it all up. The weight of the gun along with not being used to being on his back two legs made him lose his balance fairly quickly. Arrell then fumbled and fell on his pony ass that then made the shotgun go off and shoot off into the ceiling.
Pony legs are just not naturally supposed to be on their back legs for that long with that much weight to begin with, but Arrell didn’t seem to notice that part Instead, he just looked a little pissed as he moaned and groaned, “Damn it, that was my only shot. I knew I should have bought more from that cart traveling pony. Then again I’m not sure if these things would have worked. Oh well.”
Arrell then quickly threw the shot gun to the side and went straight for the door. He then slowly opened it up just a bit to take a little peek. He had a look of worry, wondering if he was any closer to him.
Sadly, he was not too far from him. Arrell quickly closed the door and said to himself in desperation while hanging his head low, “Damn it… he’s getting closer. I’ll just have to go with Plan B.”
Arrell then went to the kitchen and opened up one of the drawers by the ovens. From there, he went digging around where he put some miscellaneous things in like pens and note pads. And in there was a little metal box with a red button on it. He grabbed it and immediately pressed it. Nothing happened on the inside, but on the outside, a distraction occurred. The 10 Pony was quietly walking towards Arrell’s home, taking his sweet little time, knowing he’ll get what he wants. But as he walking, one of the trees nearby happened to explode and caught on fire along with a little bush right next to it. This of course caught The 10 Pony’s attention for a bit. He still had a smirk on his face, but was for the mean time distracted by it. Meanwhile, this was Arrell’s chance to get away and walk around The 10 Pony.
He had a look of worry; scared even. This was his only plan. However as Arrell was sweating bullets, he couldn’t help but feel that he had another plan. Plan C, but he never finished it. But he couldn’t remember it. As Arrell was trying to run and get around The 10 Pony, The 10 Pony was looking at the burning tree and bush. And to keep his attention, there was a little pre-recording device hidden nearby that spoke in Arrell’s attempt to talk in a deep, demanding voice.
His recorded voice said as it sounded like it was coming from the bush, “Yo it is me… the Burning Bush. I’m… I’m a burning bush. That means you need to listen to me. I know all and am all powerful. That makes me automatically better than you and I can kick your ass even without moving. So listen to me as I say you need to hear my words. So uhhh… Rule number one, I am your one and only god… a burning bush. I know all the secrets of the universe so you got to listen to me and worship me.”
The recording went on and on, but it was all to distract The 10 Pony from making it to Arrell. Whether or not it was keeping The 10 Pony’s attention away from Arrell, nobody knew. But his eyes and ears were on the burning bush and tree. As for Arrell, as his heart was pounding, he needed to make a small journey around The 10 Pony still. His land was a bit big, somewhat empty, so it did make him nervous. But surely the plan would keep The 10 Pony busy as he quietly ran behind him on the soft grass. Arrell was even starting to get a little confident by his plan as he was running past him, undetected and all. His ego was growing just by half an inch and he was liking it. However that would quickly go back down by half an inch as Arrell made the mistake of not remembering Plan C: Bear Traps.
Arrell had accidently stepped onto one of a number of bear traps that he had hidden along the field of his home in case The 10 Pony would ever come in the middle of the night. However he never finished it and he had forgotten all about it. This of course bit him back in the ass as he immediately let out a big scream as his front left hoof was caught. Arrell had only gotten a few good feet away from The 10 Pony before he got caught in it.
This of course got the attention of The 10 Pony as the bush was saying, “And this is my pal Treeie… he’s my bitch. Don’t fuck with him or else he’ll cut ya… He went to prison once…”
The 10 Pony looked over to Arrell and started to walk towards him. Arrell saw this and in fear tried to frantically try to get the bear trap open again. He was having a difficult time as he said, “Damn you Plan C!” Luckily for him however, he was able to get it to re-open and even reset it quickly. However it was too little, too late as The 10 Pony was right next to him. Arrell saw this and fell on his pony back and groveled a bit as his eyes were filled with the fear of death and his mouth agape. The 10 Pony didn’t have to say a single word to him. All Arrell had to do was look deep into The 10 Pony’s eyes and his uncanny like face to see that he was there for his life and his soul. It was ten metaphorical years after all. And The 10 Pony wanted that.
He wanted the time from them. He had spent the time and now he needed to pay his dues. But Arrell wasn’t ready yet. But time was not on his side. But what was on his side was a bear trap that he had just reset. It was literally right next to his right side. So at the last second, Arrell took his right hoof and grabbed a hold of the edges of the bear trap and used all his might to lift and swing it over to The 10 Pony.
Whether it hit him or snap at him, it didn’t matter. Arrell just threw it at him and took advantage of the three second delay that he would have to run away with a pain in his front left hoof. But it didn’t matter. He needed to get away as fast and as far as he could. As for The 10 Pony, the bear trap did snap and his front right hoof was caught in it, almost as if he tried to catch it as Arrell threw at it him. However it didn’t have an effect on him whatsoever.
In fact he didn’t feel any pain. It meant nothing to him. The fire may have, but the bear trap was like tickling him. And his little smirk that he had on only meant he was not done yet with Arrell. Same with Jack Mac, and Forrest as he was talking with them as well. There was only one left on his list to knock on the door…
NEON’S PLACE:
And so on to the final place. The final and last place on The 10 Pony’s little hit list. It was the Party Store that Neon resided in. And The 10 Pony stood in front as if he was going to massacre everyone inside like a shooter ready to go out Columbine style at a Popeye’s. And he was influenced by a skeleton hambone in a wheelchair and was groomed by him. Yeah, he was standing ominously like that outside of the Party Store like that as the wind gently breezed by him, slightly moving his coat and piece of paper that was poorly taped on to him.
And on his face, he still had the same stupid grin. So as Jack was getting a little visit, Mac was being stupid, Forrest was being stalked, and Arrell fending for his own life, The 10 Pony waited a few seconds to take in the moment from his final target. But after the few seconds had passed, he then started to walk towards the entrance of the shop. Once he made it to the door and let himself in, the little bell rang to let the one at the counter know a customer was inside. And behind the counter was no other than Mr. Sweet himself. While everyone had seemed to have disappeared around town, he was still there… for some reason; his wife too who still hadn’t left.
Once the old stallion saw The 10 Pony, he put on an old man smile and said the best he could, “Oh… what are you doing here you youngster? Looking for a party?”
The 10 Pony then said with a high grin on his face with a suspicious tone, “No. I’m not interested in any of your little parties or toys. I’m just here for the one named Neon Party. And I can make things very difficult if you don’t…”
Mr. Sweet then cut him off by saying, “Are you sure you don’t want to party here kiddo? Don’t worry, this shit legit.”
Mr. Sweet then proceeded to pull out a tray of various drugs from behind the counter almost like it was nothing.
Mr. Sweet then said to him while still retaining his eagerness to show off his assortments of drugs, “I’ve got the good stuff. This shit right here will blow your fucking mind. This cocaine right here… it is pure as you can get.”
Mr. Sweet then pointed with his left, shaky old hoof to the cocaine. However it wasn’t cocaine. It was purely just pills that were crushed up. More than likely it was just some anti-biotics or something. This was obvious as part of the pill was just sitting there, uncrushed. And right next to it, there was other pills along with what looked like actual heroin and a candy bar with both ends of it cut. The 10 Pony then started to get weirded out by this as his grin disappeared. He didn’t know what to say as he just stood there in awkward silence. He felt like he wanted to point out that the crack was just a crushed up pill, but he didn’t feel like correcting the old man.
Instead, Mr. Sweet went on to say to him, “Just one thing… you’re not a cop are ya? Because if you are, then we’re going to have a problem… ”
Mr. Sweet looked like he was ready to throw down at a WWE match in a Popeye’s that was about to be shot up with his look on his face.
However The 10 Pony said in a bit of a cynical tone, “Uhhh… no… no I’m not a cop… anymore… ”
The old stallion then said with a slight smile on his face, “Good… good… Hey, want to try some with me!?”
The old stallion then let his face fall down to the tray of drugs and started to try and snort all of it all in one go. He went crazy while moving his head from side to side like an animal while sniffing it all up through his nostrils. Once he was done having his share, he immediately threw his head straight back up. His glasses were crooked and he was shaking due to what he had just done to himself.
Mr. Sweet then asked The 10 Pony, “So what do you say kids, do you want to try some with old gramps?”
The 10 Pony just looked dead on confused as he then asked him, “Excuse me?”
Mr. Sweet then said to him, “Come on now. You can’t expect this old man to do all the blow by himself, do ya?”
What The 10 Pony didn’t know was from Mr. Sweet’s eyes, he was seeing once again the dead kids that he couldn’t save from The Great War. Still from his perspective everything being on fire with the smelling of burnt bodies and the many dead kids in front of him, looking all sad and wanting to see their mommas and their daddas again.
And one of the colts of the dead kids went up to him in a British voice and a completely burnt body and a cap, “Why Mister? Why did you let us die in the fire? You said you would save us from them? Why didn’t you protect us?”
But the old stallion was silent and ignored the ghost of his past.
He then said out loud instead with a bit of a tone in his voice, “Now that’s not how to act in front of an elder. Didn’t your Papa ever teach you different? Your papa should have beaten you silly. Why if I weren’t so kind, I would be one mean son of a bitch.”
The 10 Pony had no words and just squinted at him as he droned on and on with , “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….”
However he decided to just say fuck it and said to Mr. Sweet while pointing up the stairs with his left hoof, “I’m assuming Neon is upstairs. I-I’ll just show myself upstairs… ”
However Mr. sweet didn’t care as he immediately went back to doing more of the imaginary drugs again. So as the old stallion was somewhere else mentally, The 10 Pony made his way up to the second floor of the store and into the hallway.
From there, he looked at the many doors before him, but made an educational guess as to which one was Neon’s with the slight blood stains on it. How did he know the blood was Neon’s you ask? He didn’t… but he figured, why the hell not right? From there, he went towards the wooden brown door, sat on his pony ass, and cleared his throat. From there, he put his little grin back on and was mentally ready to put back on the show.
He then raised his left hoof and proceeded to knock on the door, awaiting a response back. Instead, Neon was on his back two legs and opened the door with his right front hoof while looking a tad bit sinister in his eyes. But once he saw it was The 10 Pony his eyes didn’t become sinister anymore, almost as if he was expecting someone else. And from there, his pupils grew small compared to what it normally was; and went back to all fours and looked insane like he usually does.
Why was he like that to begin with? I don’t know. I can’t even look back and figure that part out for you. You’re just going to have to figure it out for yourself. But The 10 Pony didn’t see anything wrong with this. So as both were standing before each other, eye to eye, The 10 Pony felt like he had to introduce himself and tease Neon.
The 10 Pony said to Neon, “Hello Neon Party, your time is up and I have come to… ”
Neon then cut him off and said to him happily while tilting his head slightly to the side, “Collect?”
The 10 Pony was a bit taken back by this, but he shook it off quickly and said while trying to collect his mind, “Why yes… and I…”
Neon then cut him off once again as he then said to him happily, “To take me back? Chicken butt!”
The 10 Pony was then confused by his statements as he then asked Neon with a confused look, “W-What?”
Neon then seemingly started to grow a little bit taller as Neon stared back into The 10 Pony’s soul with anguish.
The 10 Pony noticed this as he then asked Neon with a bit of a scared sounding tone in his voice and worried eyes “Is there something happening to you or something?”
The room started to get bigger, yet darker. Neon started to grow taller before his very eyes, yet twisted that only a nightmare could only produce. And from The 10 Pony’s perspective, he was getting smaller as he felt Neon was getting closer and closer to him by the second. As Neon was not saying anything to him, yet getting awfully close to him, The 10 Pony folded his pony ears back as he increasingly become more and more afraid of Neon.
He started to hear the walls creak and crackle and the floor beneath squeaked as it twisted along the side with the rest of the room. He wasn’t sure what was happening or why he was seeing it like this, yet his body started to shake a little while his heart started to pound against his chest. He wasn’t sure what to do, yet he was frightened by something, and he never usually was. Yet no matter how much he looked around the hallway around him, nothing would give him comfort. It was all the way twisted and scary like one of his bad dreams late at night.
And whenever he looked back forward, all he saw was Neon getting even closer as he stretched out his neck while producing a more sinister smile than he ever could. And yet at the same time, Neon was growing taller and bigger than him. He was starting to sweat bullets as his thoughts raced through his mind; thinking this was a bad idea. At least that’s what it looked like on his face. It looked like he was starting to think to himself that this was a bad idea to try and collect Neon’s little soul today, even if it was due. Neon grew darker by the second with his eyes being pure white with a smile so innocent it became the most sinister like thing anyone could have seen in their lives. And as Neon’s face got as close as it could to The 10 Pony’s face as he was taken aback by it all.
Neon then said to him in a deep, toning voice of his slowly, “If you’re going to play with me and my friends… I’m going to play with you in my special play area. You’re going to the Sad Shack on the hill. Everything is Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad. You can’t run from being Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. It never gets dark there… ”
The 10 Pony had no words to say. He thought he was going to die there. And next thing you know in a blink of an eye, everything went back to normal. The room was back to its normal shape and lighting. Neon was back to his light green-ish self and smiling like how he always does. And he just stared at The 10 Pony like how he stares at me sometimes.
He then said to him like how he always does to everyone he sees, “I’m going to go and play with my friends now!”
Neon then skipped and galloped along the floor boards and down the steps and out the door to come and meet me at my home. Meanwhile though, The 10 Pony was still shaking with fear and even fell on his back, not knowing what to think or say it had seemed.
He then said out loud to himself, “What the fuck was that shit dude?”
BACK TO MY HOME…
And so it all comes full circle. The chicken comes back to its coop to roost. What goes around comes around. A snake starting to eat itself. A mother fucker fucking grandma… that makes sense, right? Well, if you couldn’t figure it out, everyone who was touched in the no-no place by The 10 Pony was making their way back to my little library home. Why? I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. Maybe because they have daddy issues and they see me as their ol’ Papa or something. But no really, I’m the leader and they looked to me to solve their problems sometimes.
And if not me, then it moves down to Arrell but he couldn’t shoot for shit half the time, so look who comes crawling back? Well not crawling, more like running but hey, it was all meant to be. And so as all of the guys were running back towards my direction, I was simply standing out in the middle of the living room with Wolf and sitting on my pony ass, talking to him. We really hadn’t moved from our spots too much.
We just got into a conversation and just got carried away with it. And soon before you knew it, the time passed very fast. And what seemed like ten days for a few adventures ends up being ten years. Even if it means ten metaphorical years, time goes by fast and if you blink, you’ll miss it. And usually you never appreciate it. That’s why in the next ten metaphorical years, I either need to burn it all down or… maybe learn to love the things that I have. Either way, we were still fucked.
The living room was still a mess from what I had made and the door was locked to prevent The 10 Pony from entering. And neither of us knew how much longer it would be before it was safe for us to go back outside. But that didn’t stop us from distracting our minds and help pass the time.
I was talking to Wolf while remaining chill and shit, “I’m just saying you shouldn’t be leaving your shit all over the kitchen counter. That is where food goes.”
Wolf then was trying to get snarky with me as he looked at me with a slight annoyed look and said, “This is my home too you know. I should be able to put whatever the hell I want on that counter top.”
I started to get annoyed with as I continued to say to him, “I told you already. It’s a mess and if you don’t clean it up, ants are going to come in and ruin the rest of the fruits and other shit we have on there.”
Wolf then said while moving his right wooden paw in exaggeration, “Ants? What the fuck does my weed and my stuff from the flea market have to do with ants?”
I then said to him while raising my right hoof, “I’m just saying that the smell of the weed is going to attract ants and then it’s going to ruin everything else. I don’t want to have to go and buy more fruit and shit.”
Wolf then said back to me like a prick, “Why the hell do you even have food out in the open on the counter like that? I-It’s just stupid. The fruit is going to go bad anyways in like a week. I mean I’ve seen those bananas rot in like five days. You barely eat it. And I don’t even touch that garbage. W-Why are we wasting our monthly finances on this stuff?”
I then explained to him while trying to remain mellow to him, “I just want it to look nice when we have guests over. And if the guests want to have a banana, then they can have a banana.”
Wolf was really starting to get annoyed with me as he then said, “What guests? We don’t have guests over. We just have the guys whenever they burst through the door or some other asshole comes fucking up our shit. My shit especially.”
I then said to him while being slightly annoyed with Wolf, “Well it’s not just about you, is it? And besides, maybe I need it for my own health. I-I get leg cramps sometimes when I sleep at night and usually I just need some potassium and need to drink water because of that. So I need it for my health. And you should eat it too for your health.”
Wolf then said to me snarly, “I don’t get leg cramps.”
I then said to him while slightly raising my head up towards him, “Oh I beg to differ.”
Wolf then raised his right wooden arm at me and sort of yelled at me, “I’m made of fucking wood Knight! I sometimes don’t feel anything because of it! Look at my fucking wooden arm Knight! Look at it!”
I then said to him calmly, “You know, I see a wooden arm, but I don’t hear politeness coming from your voice. I think you’re being too loud. You don’t have to scream, I am five feet in front of you.”
Wolf then gave me a cynical sigh while hanging his head down a little bit while shaking it.
He then looked back up at me and he then said, “Fuck you Knight.”
I then said to him while slightly raising my head up at him again, “Hmmm… fuck you too.”
And then all hell broke loose as we heard a loud knock coming from the door. We both stiffened our backs while our eyes became wide and alerted to the sound of knocking on the door. The hairs, assuming Wolf had any that is, stood on our backs and our hearts started to get pumping in fear. Could it have been The 10 Pony? Perhaps someone had came to rescue us from our desperate turmoil? Or something more sinister was lurking behind that door.
Either way, we didn’t know how it was. It was either of our guesses. We didn’t know who or WHAT was behind that wooden door of ours. We thought it could be the end of us. So many frightening ideas were passing through our minds like it was nothing. I mean, what could it be? Who could it be? Was this it for us? Was this the end of the road for us? We had a good run I guess. But all of that was quickly shot down as soon as we heard the first word that came from the other side of the wooden door.
It was Jack and he yelled out in desperation towards me, “Knight, quick! Open up the door! Please!”
My eyes were still wide when I heard his voice, but my mind started to be at ease once I realized who it was.
Once my body calmed and my muscles were no longer tensed up, I said out loud, “Oh… it’s just Jack. Hold I’m coming…”
As I had gotten up from my pony ass and was about to go to the door to let Jack in, Wolf stretched out his right wooden arm with wild eyes as he said out to me quickly, “Wait! What if this is a trick by him!? What if he’s trying to imitate Jack’s voice!?”
As I looked back at him, I realized Wolf for once made a point as I stopped in my tracks and sat down back on my pony ass.
I then made that look of realization on my face as I said to Wolf and the “Jack” knocking at my door, “Oh, yeah right. That’s a very good point… huh… YOU’RE NOT FOOLING US! SO YOU CAN JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE!”
Even though it was really the real Jack at the door, he still yelled out to me in desperation, “Please! It’s the real me Knight! I’m not him. Just please let me in!”
I then looked over to Wolf with a curious, yet compassionate face as it did sound like him. I was starting to think he was the real Classy Jack. However Wolf had a tampered look on his face as he silently shook his head at me.
I then turned back to the door with a bit of anger in my eyes and on face while saying to Jack, “Not happening you fake Jack! You’re not coming in so just go bother somebody else for once!”
Jack then said to me in annoyance, “OH COME ON! IT IS REALLY FUCKING ME YOU ASSHOLES! IS THIS FUCKING KARMA FOR ALL OF THE TIMES THAT I’VE BEEN AN ASSHOLE… HUH!? WHY IS IT SO FUCKING IORNIC!?”
I then looked back to Wolf behind me thinking that it might have been him. However Wolf still shook his head towards me.
Wolf then simply said to me, “It might be him Knight, but he may have taken Jack hostage! Don’t let him in. He’s just using Jack to get to us. Don’t show any signs of weakness, even if it means letting Jack take one for the team.”
I then had a small smile form on my face as I looked back at Wolf as I said to him, “Wow, you’re really thinking here for once Wolf. I wouldn’t have really thought of that. Good job man.”
Wolf then said in a snooty type of way while inspecting his wooden left paw, “Well I do have a higher intellect than most of those primitive creatures in the Everfree.”
I just rolled my eyes at him when he said that. Just for the record, Wolf and his Timber Wolf kind likes to eat their own shit when the conditions are right. Don’t even ask me how pieces of wood defecate. They just somehow do. But I do suppose to a certain extent, he had a high intellect of some kind compared to others… if you were comparing to a bunch of filthy, good for nothing Tiny Hippos that is. Oooooooo… that would only make sense to me… not you…
Anyways I rolled my eyes at Wolf as I looked back at the door and said out to Jack with a pretty straight forwardness in my tone, “Uhhh, yeah! What Wolf said Jack! You’re staying out there! Sorry there Jacky boy!”
Jack then yelled out from outside our door, “WHAT THE FUCK!? I’M NOT EVEN BEING HELD HOSTAGE AND YOU WOULD JUST LET ME DIE EVEN IF I WAS!? THAT’S FUCKED UP MAN!”
I then pointed out to Jack comically, “Wouldn’t you let Forrest be left outside to die if you were in my shoes?”
Jack then was silent for a second before he responded back to me. It had seemed like he had to think that one over for a second.
After a brief moment of silence towards me, he then said again calmly this time, “Yeah… you know what… maybe. I would maybe do that. That does sound like what I would do. But on second thought I would save him… ”
I got a little curious as to what he would mean by that as I raised my right eyebrow up.
I looked back over to Wolf for a brief second and I then asked Jack while slightly raising my left hoof up from the ground, “And why would you do that Jack?”
Jack then took a second of silence before he responded back to me with, “ … Because who else would I talk to or call a faggot. I mean, what are friends for am I right? Speaking of which… YOU SHOULD DO THAT RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND LET ME IN!”
I then started to get a little antsy with Jack and asked him while moving a bit back and asked him, “I don’t know… why should I? What have you ever done for me?”
Jack then said through the door, “Oh come on! We’re friends! I’ve done a lot of things for you… like… uhhh… Look, it doesn’t matter! What matters is what would Princess Celestia would say to you if you let one of your friends die!? What letter would you write to her then?”
I then put my right hoof to my face as I rolled my eyes back, thinking about it. I hummed a little bit to myself for a few seconds.
When I was done, I looked back at the door and said to Jack, “Well I would be doing what I usually do and just write some lies… she doesn’t really read it how I write it anyways.”
Jack then took a second to respond to my comment as he said to me in a bit of surprise tone, “Really? This entire time? With everything we have done so far?”
I then said back to Jack, “Well not everything. Only the important details that I am forced to do against my will as the Universe makes me repeat everything from Season One of Friendship is Magic. And somehow we’re not even halfway through yet despite it being ten metaphorical years. And yet I haven’t gone insane yet and desperate to gather the courage, get a shotgun, and blow my brains all over the wall and letting sweet death take me already. And yet somehow all of those old memories feel like are being re-written as we speak which makes me even more insane as we’re talking. And the most damnest thing, I foresee an endless sea of shit that we still have yet to do. And if not in this timeline, then the next. So to sum it up, only the things that she needs to know… for now that is… ”
Jack then took like ten seconds to respond back to me as he was then greatly confused by my words towards him.
He then yelled out, “What!? What the fuck does that all mean!? Friendship is Magic!? Season One!? The hell are you talking about Knight?”
I then said to him, “You wouldn’t get it Jack… it’s uhhhh… it’s a circle jerk thing only between me and Wolf.”
I then looked to Wolf with a glum face on as Wolf smiled back at me while trying to give me a thumbs up the best he could with his wooden left paw. I then looked back to the door with a low grunt in my voice.
Jack then said back to me, “Oh… well I get that then! I’ve done that before to some ponies back in my day. It isn’t gay though is it?”
I then said, “No… no it’s not. Although I think Wolf tires to make it kinky every now and then to satisfy his addiction.”
Wolf then looked offended as I looked back at him.
Wolf leaned in a bit towards my direction as he said to me, “Hey! It is not an addiction. It’s a fetish! And we all have them.”
I then turned my body while sitting on my pony ass towards him while saying to Wolf while being slightly annoyed towards him, “Wolf, you have a problem. And one of these days you’re going to need an intervention. And I swear to god it isn’t going to be me cleaning your puke from your hangover when it happens the morning of; let alone me being the one taking you to rehab.”
Wolf then said back to me while placing his left wooden paw on his wooden chest, “I’m offended Knight. How could you think so low of me that I would go to rehab? I am better than that. I would just go and live with the other hobos over in Hobo Alley and just get high with them until I start seeing the demons.”
I asked Wolf with a raised right eyebrow and curiosity in my voice, “You see demons when you take drugs?”
Wolf then calmly said while placing his left wooden paw down back on the ground, “Oh yeah, like almost all the time. And they all come in different shape and sizes, sometimes when I’m all alone and in the dark.”
I then asked Wolf, “Is that like what you get with sleep paralysis or something else?”
Wolf then said back to me, “Oh no, it’s about roughly the same. But most of the time I just ignore the demons. I know it’s all in my head after all. But sometimes they get to me when I have taken too much of the drugs… mostly heroin. Sometimes crack cocaine. But never with the weed. They usually go away with that. But the demons say they swear they’ll get me when I least suspect it. Yet they never do… ”
Wolf then proceeded to raise his left wooden paw up and knock on his wooden head to sort of show off and point out the obvious. He then put his left wooden paw back down on the ground.
I then said back to him, “Wait a minute… you’re made out of wood… how the hell do you even get sleep paralysis?”
Wolf then looked a tad bit annoyed with me when I asked that.
He just looked stern with me as he said, “Why is it that you ask that type of question and assume it’s because I’m made out off wood? I am made out of more… you know… like a heart… ”
I then made a small smile at him and said, “Yeah a wooden one.”
I then chuckled a bit. Wolf then leaned in forward as if he was going to bite my head off and said, “Hey, I’ll have you know it’s made out of OAK you son of a bitch. And to answer your question, I get sleep paralysis just like any other pony and that’s through being wasted and whenever the wood wants to be stiff… mostly in the morning though… ”
I then chuckled at that and said to Wolf, “Ok, but what about cramps? Do you get leg cramps… Wolf?... ”
Wolf then calmed down a bit and said to me, “Well not really. I feel a little something down there at times, but nothing serious… What about you?”
I then said back to him in a mellowed out state of mind, “Oh I uhhh… I don’t usually get sleep paralysis, or at least I don’t see anything that is. Usually I can’t move when I’m dreaming and I try to wake up, yet can’t at times. Then I get scared a little and then I wake up. And I do get cramps, some really bad ones too… but only if I sleep on my back. So I have to sleep either on my side or stomach to keep that shit away, you know?”
Wolf then said back to me, “Oh… well have you been drinking enough water? I heard that helps keep the cramps away.”
I then said to him while slightly moving my right pony forearm, “I-I-I feel like I’ve been getting enough water in my system on a daily basis. My pee is a little yellow still though, but I think I do enough to stay healthy.”
Then Jack rudely interrupted our conversation as he yelled out loud to the both of us, “WILL SOMEPONY JUST FUCKING OPEN THE DOOR YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!? I’M GOING TO GET KILLED OUT HERE!”
I then sighed and turned around heading for the door and said, “Alright. Alright. Alright. I’m coming. No need to be rude Jack. I guess we’ll let you in.”
I walked to the door calmly while rolling my eyes, taking my sweet ol’ time and just casually embracing the situation at hand… hoof… whatever… So I got to the door, and as soon as I unlocked it and turned the door knob, I was then quickly pushed out of the way to my right side as the door swung wide open. As soon as Jack saw his opening, he immediately rushed and charged right on in while he breathed heavily and his heart beating rapidly. His eyes were filled with absolute terror and he acted like he couldn’t get through my door faster.
As soon as he rushed past me, I gave a look of annoyance as I said underneath my breath, “Well that was fucking rude.”
I then went and did what Jack was supposed to do regardless if he is scared or not and closed and locked the door behind him. As for Jack, he ran and then slowed down and stopped in the middle of my living room; essential taking my spot where my pony ass was sitting at. He sat there on his pony ass, trying to catch his breath while being a bit hunched over. As soon as I was done locking the door, I went ahead and joined the guys, with a look of annoyance and cynicism still on my face.
I asked Jack as I was walking back to them, “What’s the rush with you Jack?”
Jack looked angry at me as he pointed at me with his right hoof, “Don’t you know what the hell is out there!? I could have died because of you!”
I then said as I got close to him and sat my pony ass down, “First off, you don’t need to yell. And second, yeah… I know. That 10 Pony guy right? He stopped by earlier trying to get in here.”
Jack looked at me, still pissed off, and tried to take that all in.
After a couple of seconds, he got a little antsy with me and yelled, “WHAT!? You knew about it and you didn’t do anything to stop him!? I could be dead right now because of you!”
I then said to him with a slight sigh and a rolling of the eyes and a tone in my voice, “Yeah, but you’re not dead are you? So stop bitching and just relax will ya? It’s not like I could have done anything to stop him. I was the one trying to stay as far away as I could from him.”
I then started to get up from my pony ass and walked to the kitchen. As I was doing this, Jack was following me with his eyes as his mane was a bit of a tangled mess and he looked a tad bit tired in his eyes, yet still pissed with me.
He then yelled while holding his right hoof of his the air a bit below his face, “My bitching!? MY BITCHING!? How about you try to use your magic or whatever and trying to warn me huh?!”
I then asked him while my back was turned to him as I went into the kitchen near the bananas to grab a fresh one from a bunch, “Oh please Jack. I might have powerful magic on par with Celestia, maybe even more than that, but that doesn’t mean I have a spell to everything. Besides, what did he try to do except try to take your soul or whatever? Surely you could have just locked yourself in your home, preventing him from coming in, right?”
I then went ahead and took a banana with my magic and tried to peel it. But the son of a bitch was a little too fresh and it was a little hard to pull it apart. But I got it eventually with enough of a struggle.
Meanwhile, Jack just kept eyeing me like a savage dog and told me while I was trying to have a healthy snack, “Of course I didn’t! I didn’t know who the fuck it was knocking on my door! I was going to rip him a new one! But then he threatened to report my tax evasion schemes and second apartment. What else was I supposed to do?”
Jack during his little rant started to hang his head low and keep his eyes on the ground. His tone started to go down a bit as I slowly chewed on my banana, eyeing him with cynicism in my eyes.
Jack continued to go on and say to me with a little bit more of a nicer tone in his voice while still looking quite pissed, “I didn’t know where else to go. I didn’t even see anypony else around. It’s like everypony vanished and I got… a little scared. Scared that my other pet was going to be taken away from me and… you’re the only one who I knew who could help me and all.”
I then said while still chewing on the nice, soft, shmushy banana in my mouth while turning my head to the left side and raising my left pony arm, “What was that Jack? I didn’t quite catch that part?”
Jack, while still hanging his head low, said a little louder to my ears, “I said you’re the only one who I can count on to help me out and… ”
Jack had looked up and had a look between annoyed and pissed as he stopped and noticed I was eating a banana.
He just watched me for a couple of seconds hearing me chew and smack on the banana and he asked me, “Are you eating a fucking banana in a time like this?”
I then said as I continued to smack down on the mushy banana in my mouth with a bit of a mellow tone in my voice, “Yeah… you want one?”
Jack for some reason looked even more pissed at me now. As far as I could tell from looking at his thoughts, he didn’t like me interrupting him and his little sob story with me eating a banana. He wanted my full attention to his problem, especially when he was spilling his heart out for me. Awwww… but then the banana ruined it for him I guess.
But that was all taken to the side for a bit as our heads were turned immediately when we heard another knock coming from my door. Jack and Wolf both had a look of curiosity on their face while I had an annoyed look on my face. Hey, it was the second time already this morning. How many times to I have to keep opening the fucking door? And after the knocking went on for a few seconds, a few seconds too long that was a bit awkward, a voice came through the other end.
It was no other than Mac as he said out loud in a slight drunken tone, “Hey uhhh… guys… do you think you can open the door… or something?”
And then he belched disgustingly through the door to the point where I could even smell his alcohol filled breath. I then gave out a loud sigh because I had to stop eating my banana.
I then put the banana down on the kitchen counter, swallowed my nice, soft, shmushy banana, and said out loud to Mac through the front door, “Fine! I’m coming Mac!”
But then Jack with a look of worry on his face put his right front hoof in front of me and urged me, “Wait! Don’t open it! It could be that 10 Pony guy trying to mimic Mac! We can’t trust him Knight.”
I then stopped in the middle of my track and looked at him with frustration and said, “Oh come on! I let you in didn’t I? Why can’t I let Mac in?”
Jack then went on to say to me with a look that was threatening towards me as he leaned in a bit towards my direction, “Don’t you dare fucking open that door Knight. Or else…”
I then smirked at him and asked with a side glance on my face, “Oh yeah, and what ‘else’ is that? You’re going to beat me up or something?”
Jack then said as he leaned in a bit more forward while gritting his teeth, “I mean it Knight. Don’t open that fucking door. It’s just us and us only.”
I then said to Jack with still a smirk on my face towards him, trying to troll him kind of, “Awww… but he’s your friend Mac. Don’t you want to save your friend from danger like how I saved you from danger… BUUUUUUUUDDY?”
Jack then yelled out as he lunged forward for me, “That’s it! Come here you son of a bitch! I’ll take you on with just my hooves!”
But thankfully Wolf was looking out for me as he came rushing in, grabbed a hold of Jack’s back legs with his wooden paws and tried his best to hold him back.
As he was holding him back for me while I was taken a bit back myself while holding my right pony arm slightly up, Wolf said to Jack, “Woah Woah Woah there Jacky boy. We don’t need to be getting kinky just yet.”
I took this as an opportunity to go and open the door, not fearing that The 10 Pony was on the other end, else Mac would have been saying something different or whatever. So I gave a slight nod to Jack and my smirk still and went to the door and opened the door to let Mac in.
And unlike how rude Jack was, Mac calmly walked right on in and greeted me with a drunken smile and said, “Howdy Knight! How ya’ll doing in here?”
He then walked in, I nodded back while smiling, and closed and locked the door behind him.
I then responded back to him with, “Oh we’re doing just fine in here Mac. See Jack, he came in just fine UNLIKE YOU!”
Mac walked in further into my home while Wolf and Jack both calmed down. I had my little smile still on my face and I went and walked and stood right next to Mac.
Mac then looked a little drunkenly confused as he asked me, “What’s going on here? Some kind of weird queer party or something?”
I then turned my head and looked at him while he looked at me and said, “Nah, Jack was just being an asshole like usual.”
Mac then said, “Ahhhhh… so everything is normal like usual.”
I then said to him while nodding my head, “Yup.”
Mac then said as he turned his body towards me and sat down on his pony ass, “Well that sounds all good like a hoedown and I sure would like to join myself but uhhh…”
Mac then belched a nasty breath as my nose sequenced up a bit by the stench of it all.
Mac continued to say to me, “I came here to ask you something… what was it?...”
He had to stick his tongue out and think about it for a minute as he rolled his eyes up to his head and place his left hoof on his chin.
After a seconds of waiting, he then said to me with a small drunken smile formed on his face, “Ahhh… that’s right. Knight, do you have some of those fancy law books or something in the library? And do you mind like… representing me in court? Cause this weird virgin fuck came up to me while I was trying to teach my little brother a lesson in manners and he said I owed him something because it’s been ten years or something. And I don’t think that’s right? So do you think you could be a pal and defend me in the courts or whatever it is?”
My little smile then disappeared and it was replaced with disappointment. But it was Mac, what else did I expect from him? I started to return to my cynical ways as the thoughts started going through my mind that this is never going to end and that everything will always be the same with these guys. And perhaps I will never get a break from it either. But in a way, that isn’t a bad thing. It just means that everything goes into a loop that goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on with no break in sight.
It’s a loop that CAN’T be broken. But hey, what did I have to lose? I was stuck with them, so I might as well make the best of it… right? Well I still have the right to bitch about it if I want to. I’m still technically an American citizen from Earth, my first amendment right still counts and will hold up in a court of law outside of that zone. The other guys though… well I guess they can have their rights too. I guess they can drink from the same water fountain that I drink from. It could be worse. I could make them sit in the back of the bus.
Anyways, I just gave Mac a look that I usually give him whenever he had one of his antics or his episodes, or his personal episodes. And sometimes it was a look exclusive to him.
I sat there on my pony ass while giving him the look and said to him, “Mac… are you drunk again?”
Mac then said while he was swaying a bit from side to side and looking a little woozy and belching a bit, “Why? Does it look like I have been drinking? I coulda sworn I drunk some of my apple cider that I made from my apples?”
I then said to him while putting my right pony arm forward to try and hold him still, “You don’t make apple cider Mac. Last time you tried to make some, you ended up cutting the testicles off of some bulls and other innocent little animals and grinding it with some dead road kill you found on the side of the road… and then you said it was for the kids… and you gave them an unknown disease that the doctors still don’t have a cure for.”
Mac then lazily closed his eyes while swiping his right hoof in front of me and swaying a bit more while saying to me, “Pfffft… that ol’ thing? That was just a mistake! It was just a small little boo boo…”
I then said to him with a straight face, “Fifty kids are dead now.”
Mac then proceeded to do the same thing again by closing his eyes loosely and throwing his right hoof at me while saying, “Pffft… so what? They would have turned to drugs anyways at some point and ruined society even more by demanding a revolution that will never come and then end up blaming everypony for their problems or something. I did society a favor. I’m the REAL HERO here! Now where’s my medal?”
I just stared at him blankly without saying a single word to him. That’s all you need to know while he smiled back at me very drunkenly.
After a few seconds of silence passed us and Mac resumed to sway a bit back and forth, I then got the courage to tell him while pointing my right pony hoof towards Jack, “Why don’t you join him over there and try to keep him company. He’s a little on edge because he saw Applejack and needs some therapy.”
Mac’s face lit up when I said Applejack and he looked a little worried.
He said to me while leaning in a bit forward, “Really?”
Mac then looked over to Jack who was grunting a little bit towards my direction, knowing I was only going to annoy him some more.
Mac then said to Jack with a concerned look on his face, “Don’t worry Jack! I know just the thing to help you face your fears with Applejack!”
Mac then belched again while he was slowly, drunkenly making his way over to Jack with a warm and welcoming smile. And as he was walking back to Jack, I jerked a bit as my eyes went from disappointed to slightly annoyed.
I raised my right pony hoof to my mouth just a bit and then pointing to Mac while saying out loud to Mac, “And just for the record, I wouldn’t represent you in court Mac. I don’t know anything about law, I don’t have any law books (I think…), and I’m ninety nine percent sure you would lose your court cases anyways. Not that it matters, you always seem to skip out of those thing and get away scotch free anyways.”
I then shook my head in disappointment as Mac seemed to have ignored my comments about him and his little lawyer question. But if I’m being honest here, if it came down to it, I guess I wouldn’t mind covering for Mac in a court of law. He would still lose though, but I’d least try to make it look like I’ve got his back. Not out of being an asshole, but out of pity and regret. Hey, we all get like that sometimes. You do it whenever you try and help old granny cross the street or direct a blind man in the right direction. That and to get that sweet clout if you have a woman in front of you. Got to earn those simp points somehow… even if it means dying on the inside.
Anyways… Mac went over to try and comfort Jack even though he was silently screaming on the inside and looked like he wanted to rip my throat out. Hey, I don’t blame him, I can be a little dick sometimes, but it’s for a good reason. The reason is… because I wanted to do. So I started to walk towards the front door to check and lock the door back up with a look of cynicism on my face. As I was doing so, Wolf walked up a little bit towards me while Mac was drunkenly mumbling to Jack and not paying any attention to me. Jack was busy trying to pay attention to Mac as he slightly patted him on the back all with a drunken smile of encouragement.
As Wolf walked slightly towards me, he said with a curious look on his face, “Do you think the others are ok Knight?”
I then said as I continued towards the door, stood in front of it and locking it, and then quickly afterwards facing Wolf, “Well hopefully they are. But even if they are, I assure they’re not coming through here. We already took risks with these two and the next time it might be him trying to fool us. We can’t be tricked.”
Wolf started to look a bit concern as he asked me and he tilted his head slightly to the side as he sat down on his wooden ass, “But… they’re our friends. Shouldn’t we be worried about them?”
I then closed my eyes and had a small smile form on my face while I waved off Wolf with my right hoof and said, “Relax Wolf. You worry too much. If I know these guys well enough, they’ll be just fine. And they should have no need to be worried and any of them knocking on the door and worrying if it’s 10 or not.”
I then looked firmly at Wolf with confidence in my eyes, assuring him the other guys were safe. And I wasn’t worried either. In my mind, I was content with that the other three would be a-ok. And then within a span of two seconds, I heard the sound of a speeding bullet that was on fire coming from a mile away. And with being too slow to react in time or even being able to question it, it all hit like a train crash out in the middle of nowhere that you get stuck in for five episodes, but it takes you 8 years for you to get out of. Maybe more, but I’m speculating.
What happened was that in a blink of an eye, Forrest came crashing and flying through my door, breaking off of its hinges and taking me down with him. And of course partially around the door was on fire as well since Forrest had a Fireboom. And Forrest had his right arm out in front like how a super hero would have it, along with a look of being frightened by something. And as he crashed into the door, I was dragged along the floor as Forrest had lost his footing with his wings. We both collided into each other like rocks in a landslide. As we tumbled together with the momentum that Forrest had, we then crashed into Jack and Mac as they minded their own business and didn’t see it coming too. And since Wolf was right behind them, he was taken too by the force of energy that was Forrest.
Of course this all ruined some of the nice furniture that I had as well (R.I.P. furniture) as Forrest’s energy from his crash didn’t stop until we all hit a wall and we all hurt ourselves. After Forrest had finished crashing and screaming a little bit, we were all laid out like a car wreck. I was on my pony ass while Forrest was on his stomach dazed and confused.
Mac was on his head while Jack was knocked out for a couple of seconds before he got up all pissed and shit. And for Wolf, well if it wasn’t for the fact that he was also kind of magic himself I guess, he would be in pieces and I would have to put himself back together. But you’d be surprised to know that wolf can hold himself together pretty well. You’d think he would fall into little pieces like the rest of his kind, but just like his liquor, he can’t be stopped. And so as we are all moaning and groaning from the surprise attack that Forrest had given us, I was rubbing my head with my right pony hoof as I held myself up with my left pony hoof as I’m pretty sure he hurt me in my head too.
Forrest then said as he laid there as he was groaning in pain too, “Uhhh… sorry guys… I meant to stick the landing… ”
Forrest let his head plop on the ground to rest it as he remained a bit dazed and confused. I was wanting to say some words to Forrest like how Jack would be doing if he wasn’t taken out so quickly like that. But before I could even give Forrest the stinky eye, guess who else came in?
That’s right… it was Jeff… That’s right, it was good ol’ Jeff. Such a swell guy. He’s a good ol’ buddy of mine. Good ol’ Jeff was there from the very beginning and you didn’t even know about it. Everybody likes Jeff. Oh wait a minute… sorry, I have appeared to be looking at a different universe. Huh… I could have sworn I remembered him… Well my bad.
The one who really came in was Arrell. And he came walking in with a limp on the hoof that he struck on by the bear trap.
He was hopping almost like an injured puppy as he kept whimpering quietly to himself, “Ow… ow… ow…”
He didn’t seem to take much note of Forrest crashing into my lovely home. He just looked like he was in pain, but also scared as well.
As soon as he came walking in and through the frame of the door, he asked me directly, “Ow… hey Knight… Ow, can you maybe, ow, let me stay here for a bit. Ow… someone is, ow… chasing… ow…”
He was cringing his teeth and trying to hold it all together as he walked towards me. All I had to say was nothing as I just stared at him as he got to the crash site.
And once he was close enough, about like three quarters of the way there, he looked a bit confused as he then asked me, “What happened here?”
And then last but not least was Neon as he just came waltzing on in like it ain’t shit. He just trotted on in with his creepy smile like usual and his small pupils and just walked right in front of me. None of us said a word and me and Arrell just watched Neon as he came up to me. When he then made it and stood right in front of me, we just stared at each other in our eyes for a few awkward seconds.
I then finally broke the awkward silence by asking him with a cynical look on my face, “The hell do you want?”
Neon then lowered his head to my level and said to me, “I just blew up fifty chickens in Iran!”
And then he raised his head back up and joined the others wallowing on the floor almost as if he was a part of it, but just keeping his smile on like usual.
I kept my eyes on him the entire time that he did that and just said underneath my breath, “Of course you did…”
Jack then got up about halfway from the ground and looked over to Forrest as he then looked like he wanted to tear HIS throat out.
He then shook his left hoof at him as he said, “The fuck did you do that for you fucking faggot!?”
Forrest then tried to push himself up from the ground and looked over to him with a sorry looking face and he said, “I’m sorry! But I was in a hurry. There was someone after me and I didn’t know where to go. He said my time was up and I didn’t know what to do and… ”
Jack then cut him off quickly and said with a curious look on his face by raising his left eyebrow, “Wait, you too?”
Mac then looked a little pissed too as he got up onto his pony ass and he said, “Hey… me too! He was trying to rip me off!”
Mac was still in his drunken sort of state, but slowly returning to his usual self by the second.
Arrell then had a slight surprised look on his face as he pointed to the guys with his left hoof, “You guys too?”
Neon then blurted out while rolling on what used to be my nice floor, “Me six!”
I then had to shut them all up as I then said in a cynical, yet annoyed tone in my voice, “Huh hey guys… you know the door is no longer there right?”
And then we were all fucked as at the same time as we all stared at the gaping open door way that used to be covered with an actual door to protect mostly me; The 10 Pony then finally arrived with a big grin on his face.
And as he did with no words, all the guys said in unison except for me, “IT’S HIM!”
Arrell was especially scared as he stepped backwards but then due to his bad hoof, he stumbled, tripped and fell backwards and landed right next to me. And without hesitation, everyone else except for Wolf; he just sat there on his wooden ass slightly away from us; all got the same idea and decided to huddle around me like it was their last dying wish. All of them including Jack, but not for Neon, had a scared look on their faces.
The scared looks as if death was right there; ready to take them to the afterlife. And they all huddle together around me while getting close to one another as if I was an anchor that wasn’t going to go. The entire time, I just sat there not really caring anymore. I was pretty much just there with a cynical look on my face mixed with a mellowed outlook, pretty much wanting for death to take me already. I didn’t want to deal with this stuff anymore. But that’s just how I looked. I still cared deep down. It was just all so fast though.
However as all the guys were surrounding me; Wolf just looked at us with a slight smile on his face and said in a straight tone of voice, “Gay.”
Jack just gave him a stink eye when he looked back at him. And as all the guys were shivering in fear right next to me, The 10 Pony then started to walk towards us slowly, as if he was teasing us and toying with our minds.
He said to us, “Well well well. Looks like this will be a lot more easier for me today. You are all here, ready for the pickings all in one go. How nice and thoughtful for you all. This will make it all go so easier and faster for me. What a nice and convenient day it has been for me… ”
But then The 10 Pony stopped in his track and had a look of discretion on his face as he then said sort of to himself, “Well… except for those two others that I tried to get into contact with earlier today…”
At first when he had said that, I was confused about who, but then it dawned on me who it was, especially as of now as of writing this little journal entry to you guys.
EARLY IN TK’S HELL…
So first up, while The 10 Pony was dealing with the other guys, The 10 Pony managed to find TK in his little hell hole outside of the universe, all the while still maintaining a pony form. I guess he assumed TK was a pony as well or something. Whatever, he was still in pony form and that’s all that mattered.
So with The 10 Pony now in a different universe, he was in the pit of hell. Everything was dead and rocky, the air filled with black smut and the sky darkened and raining like hell fire. And somehow The 10 Pony managed to get through most of his domain unnoticed, which is unusual for most who wasn’t me. And he eventually ended up in TK’s throne room of sorts.
The 10 Pony even had a look of a cunning grin of his face still, unphased by the torture of the damned and the lake of fire. Probably because he was the embodiment of that all in one talking pony form, but still. He was looking around like it wasn’t shit and saw a couple of demons standing near TK’s throne as TK sat in his big devil chair, looking bored almost.
As soon as TK noticed him, he sat straight up a bit, but he didn’t say a word to him. All he did was raise his head and just stare at The 10 Pony, looking at him, silently asking him who the fuck was he and why was he there.
The 10 Pony got about halfway and presented him almost like royalty and placing his left hoof on his chest, “Hello there Mr. TK is it? You must be wondering why I am here and why I have broken into your lovely home. What I am here for is this. I have noticed that you are a part of Stalia in some way. You have been visiting quite often for the past ten metaphorical years or so. Yet I don’t think you’ve signed anything, but I assume you just forgot too. I must admit though, you must have figured out I was coming and hid here. But that’s the thing you are so wrong about… you cannot run from me. I am inevitable. And I am here to collect your… ”
TK wasn’t having any of this as he then cut him off very subtly. TK raised up his right hand, gathered the energy of the devil that was inside of him and all around him that was hell, and charged it up and set The 10 Pony ablaze with a burst of hell fire. And as soon as that happened, The 10 Pony was screaming in pain and agony.
TK’s little hell fire is especially quite different from other fires like Forrest’s fire and Neon Hell’s fire. It hurts like a bitch and it’s extremely a lot harder to put it out as The 10 Pony immediately tried to stop, drop, and roll. But nothing would save him from TK’s hell fire. And TK just sat there and watched as the one before him burned up to a crisp. He was simply annoyed with him and didn’t take shit for no one.
EARLY IN FACTORY DASH’S RAINBOW FACTORY…
And lastly, but not least (despite the bitch not liking me…) there was Factory Dash’s Rainbow Factory. And The 10 Pony had waltzed right on in, deep into the heart of the factory itself. Everything was cold and dead like usual. Everything made out of complex gears and metal, all the while ponies who weren’t good enough for society were metaphorically put into the back of the ovens and put to good use elsewhere: Making Rainbows.
And of course The 10 Pony didn’t see anything wrong with this, let alone out of the norm as well. In fact I’m not sure if he wondered off into a different universe since it was still a My Little Pony universe to be exact. But he didn’t seem to care. He just waltzed right in with his grin, planning on catching Factory Dash.
As he was walking by the complex machines that was essentially the thing that mixed ponies into chemicals for rainbows together with a railing between him so he wouldn’t fall in it, he was gazing upon the emptiness of the place. As he was scanning his eyes everywhere, he then came upon Factory Dash who was just standing by herself, just staring off into space. I can tell you, she was thinking of wanting to either fuck with me or kill me in some way or wondering what TK was doing.
So with her back turned, The 10 Pony seemed to have thought it was the perfect time to go up to her. So he just trotted up to her like he wasn’t shit, stopped right behind her little pony ass, and raised his left hoof while trying to kindly introduce himself. So he closed his eyes, kept his sinister smile on his face, and talked without Factory Dash even looking at him.
The 10 Pony went on to say to her like he had some elegance in his voice as if he was trying to be a gentleman, “Hello miss Factory Dash was it? I am here to inform you that while you have hidden pretty well for yourself in this factory, you cannot escape from me or what you owe. So you must be wondering why I am here and what you owe and… ”
He didn’t last long as Factory then kicked him with her back left pony leg and over the railing into the pony rainbow mixer machine. And as this took The 10 Pony by surprise, he started to scream bloody murder as he was forced and pushed into the machine by the rainbow liquid and into a deadly machine where he got mauled and ripped apart.
And all throughout the process he screamed in agony, and probably thought to himself that this was impossible. But not with Factory Dash it isn’t. Almost anything is possible with the Rainbow Factory. So as he had his innards torn to shreds and was slowly having the life sucked out of him, he just kept screaming in horror as his entire body and soul was turned into a beautiful rainbow. A sweet and lovable symbol that says something about society I think.
And soon within a minute of screaming to the top of his lungs and being slowly killed by the machines, the screaming then went dead silent as he was turned into a lovely rainbow. And from there, the rainbow was then immediately dispensed outside and all the way down to the ground below where a tiny little filly saw the end of a rainbow touch the ground. She was small, young, had a pink coat color to her with a lighter pink and fluffy mane with no cutie mark. And as soon as this filly saw this rainbow touch the ground nearby, her eye lights lit up with pure innocence and joy as she gave a big smile; excited to see a rainbow right in front of her.
She said out in glee with no one else around, “Oh boy, a rainbow!”
And then out of the rainbow came a scary, almost zombie skull shaped face, through the many colors of the rainbow itself. It was the same size as a pony’s face and it looked like it was in terror and distress.
And it bulged out of the many colors to scream for help, “Help me! Please, get me out of here! HEEEEEELLLLP MEEEEE!”
Obviously this was The 10 Pony, but I’m sure the smart ones already knew that. It’s ok Billy, it just means you’re slow. And you’re probably won’t grow out of it. Anyway, the little filly then screamed and ran away, never to be seen again because of society or something…
BACK TO THE PRESENT…
And yet, despite him being kind of dead, The 10 Pony was still in front of us. But as we just remained huddled together still, The 10 Pony just stood there, shivering a little bit, trying to repress some memories. And that I can relate to. Like for example… …………. I forgot. See it worked, good times.
So after we just stared at him, eventually The 10 Pony shook it all off and looked weird at us and said, “Those were some bad experiences. Now where was I? Oh yeah… ”
And so he returned back to his evil looking grin and started calmly walk towards us slowly and the guys went back to shivering in fear as they got a little bit closer to me. And I still had my mellowed out look on my face as well.
As The 10 Pony got closer to us, he said like how Jared from Subway would be walking towards someone, “You’re mine now! All of you are! You and your souls are all coming back with me to The Great Keeper of Time! And you will pay what you owe! All of you will pay what you owe! Even the wooden butt buddy of yours too! It doesn’t even matter if he signed or not! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
And as he got closer and closer, the guys seemed like they were all going to die. I wasn’t though, I figured some deus ex thing might happen that would save us or something like usual. Or if not that, someone would do something at the last second to save us. It always happens. But the other guys were still scared to death though.
Forrest even whispered to all of us as he gritted his teeth and braced for whatever was coming towards him in the end, “Goodbye you guys. Out of all the ponies in the world, I’m glad you were the ones that were my friends. All of you.”
And Jack surprisingly even said back to him, “Me too Forrest… me too… ”
As we all thought it was going to be the end for us, a deus ex moment happened. I told you it was going to happen didn’t I? It’s because I lived through it already. Anyways, something was buzzing around in The 10 Pony’s ass that made him stop in his place, while giving him the weird, awkward look on his face. So once that happened, The 10 Pony used his left hoof, literally dug into his asshole and took out an old 2000’s style flip phone and looked at it.
And as he was only a few feet away from us, he looked at us like how I was and said, “Hold on a sec, got to take this.”
He then opened the phone up and put it to his left pony ear.
He then said to himself as we tried our best to hear the conversation going on, “Hello… yeah it’s me… yeah… yeah… no... yeah… I’m right here with them. I am about to get them until you called. Yeah, yeah, uh huh… uh huh. Wait… what? Oh come on! You can’t just do that!? Not after all the work I just put into this whole mess! You know how long it took me to get here. It took me fucking ten whole years! You know how long that is! It’s fucking like ten I think! I mean they signed the paper work metaphorically ten years ago even! THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH THAT!? I’ve got the paperwork right here somewhere on me! What? Wait… you mean him!? I thought that shit didn’t matter? IT DOES!? Since when? Was there a fucking policy change or some shit that I didn’t get the memo to? It was in the employee handbook! Awwwwww fucking damn it! Well who the fuck reads that shit? You do? Oh don’t give me that shit! Oh come on… just… but… oh right then. I’ll be back ASAP. I still get off tomorrow for that funeral right? What do you mean I have to tell you three weeks in advance, that bitch just died like two days ago! I know you have to update the schedule, but I can’t control that shit. Fine, fine… I’ll just use one of my sick days then I guess. Alright… bye… yeah… bye. BYE! Fucking a pain in my ass… ”
He then looked groggy and annoyed like Jack sometimes and he just lowered his head and gave a long sigh that lasted about a minute long. It was a long and unwinding sigh that was a bit too long and awkward as we just all stared at him in curiosity as to what just happened.
After that, he then looked at us and said, “Ok well it looks you guys are saved… for now… It looks like it did matter if Wolf didn’t sign it. He said ‘Forgery signatures don’t count.’ Fucking bullshit!”
We all just stared at each other as we didn’t expect this to happen, even Wolf too who seemed to be the hero of the day. The 10 Pony then turned around and started to walk out the still slightly on flames doorway. Out of curiosity, we all got up and followed him to see where he was going. The 10 Pony didn’t seem to care too much. As we did, we all got outside, barely out of my doorway as I was the first one out and watched as we all saw The 10 Pony struggled to get on an old, rusty, rundown bike.
The chain to it wasn’t budging as he mumbled to himself, “Fucking ESG mother fuckers! Giving me this shit!”
As The 10 Pony sat his pony ass on the bicycle seat and put his back hooves on the pedals; trying to force the chains to move while trying to balance out on the handle bars, he looked at us and yelled, “THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?”
We didn’t say anything other than watching in awkwardness. Eventually with enough force, he was able to get the old rusty chains moving again and as he was ready to take off, he looked towards us in anger.
He then raised his left hoof high into the air and yelled one last thing to us, “YOU MIGHT BE SAFE FOR NOW! BUT I’LL BE BACK WHEN I’M 20! AND WHEN IT’S BEEN 20 METAPHORICAL YEARS FOR YOU ALL, YOU AND YOUR WOODEN BUDDY THERE ARE GOING TO BE SORRY FOR SURE! NOBODY ESCAPES 20! NOBODY!”
And then he started to ride his shitty little bike off into the sunset. And as he got farther and farther away off into the distance, the sun was starting to set for us. And he rode off into the tiny hills off into the distance. All the while we all stared not saying a word to each other as we all looked ahead, seeing destiny stare back at us. There was a slight gust of wind that went through our manes as we just stared off into the distance.
However Forrest broke the beautiful silence as he asked, “So… what are we going to do? Shouldn’t we prepare for him when he comes back in ten more metaphorical years?”
I then said with a mellowed out look on my face, “Nah. That’s ten metaphorical years from now. That’s like forever. Don’t worry about it.”
And not worry about it we did. And we didn’t see The 10 Pony ever again… or did we?
I was calmly sleeping on the couch in the living room, just chilling away. I think I was dreaming of some nice things like of a popcorn bowl having a seizure and being in a weird state of seeing things that I probably should never see ever again. Dreams are weird after all. Like…. What is this place? Anyways, I was sleeping my ass off when I then stumbled and fumbled to the hard floor when Wolf came stomping down the steps very quickly. As I was taken aback by Wolf’s scream, my eyes opened up wide and I was pissed off.
Wolf was screaming, “Knight! Wake up! It’s the 11th!”
I then started to get off my ass as I looked at Wolf funny with my disapproving eyes as he stood in front of me, with a smile so wide.
I then said to Wolf annoyed, “What the fuck are you on about?”
Wolf then said in a gleeful tone that I don’t think I ever seen him in before, “Haven’t you heard yet, It’s the 11th!”
I just stood there, dumbfounded as I scratched my head, still pissed off at Wolf for interrupting my precious lounging time. I mean, out of all the times he could have disturbed me, now was the time he fucked with me. The only time you fuck with me is either when I’m tested to be clean and have a hard on or I’m watching a Will Smith movie.
That type of Will Smith movie where he tries really hard to act, yet he never really does because of his embarrassing son Jaden Smith. That kind of embarrassment where you sit there and ponder to yourself, why am I watching a Will Smith movie and not watching a Tim Allen movie? And so you try to watch a Time Allen movie but all you get is disappointment and a reminder of why he is Tim Allen. Sure, he’s kind of funny, but then you realize that you’ll end up just like him one day as you sink into your chair knowing your inevitable demise in life. Yeah…. That kind of Will Smith movie....
Anyways, I just stared at Wolf with a deathly stare and asked him, “The 11th of what!?”
And soon before I could get another word in and maybe a punch on his wooden shoulders, Forrest busted through my door while he was fluttering in the air like a prune.
He said with joyful glee in his heart with his hooves raised in the air, “Hey Knight, did you hear, it’s the 11th!”
Both Wolf and I looked at Forrest, me being annoyed with Wolf smiling back at Forrest like a fucker. Forrest gently flew to us with his wings and sat down on the ground with his smile so big that it hurts to see.
While I was still annoyed and eyeing at them funny, Wolf said to Forrest, “I already told him. He said he doesn’t know.”
Forrest’s smile turned into worry quickly as he looked at me with a frown, “He doesn’t know!? Knight, how could you not know it’s the 11th!?”
Since my front door was still left open and rudely not closed by Forrest, Jack barged on in and said to me, “Hey Knight, did you hear that it’s the…”
Jack’s face then turned sour as he saw Forrest, “Aw shit, you got to him first didn’t you?”
Forrest’s smiled returned as Jack walked over to us and sat right next to him, “I sure did! But Knight says he doesn’t know.”
Jack then looked at me funny as he raised his left brow and said, “He doesn’t know? How can you not know? What are you, some kind of retard?”
I then said to them as I was becoming increasingly irked, “I don’t even know what you guys are talking about?”
To add to the fire, Arrell came in with a look of excitement on his face and said, “Hey Knight, I don’t mean to come in here but I wasn’t sure if you knew if it was the 11th or not.”
Arrell then sat right down next to Jack. Jack started to become annoyed as well with Arrell being right next to him as well as being next to Forrest.
Wolf then spouted out to Arrell, “He doesn’t know yet.”
Arrell then was taken a back a bit and said, “He doesn’t know about the 11th!?”
He looked like he was almost a loss for words when he had heard that, yet my pony ears were folding back as I moaned and groaned about the whole ordeal.
Before I could do anything, Mac then came waltzing on in as he said with a southern tone and a welcoming smile, “Hey there Knight! I gotta tell you about something that I just found out! The number 11 exists!”
As Mac came into my home and made himself comfortable by causally sitting on his pony ass right next to me all so sudden, Arrell told him with calmness, “It’s also the 11th too Mac.”
Mac then jumped up a bit with his right hoof raised in the air, “Woooo! It’s the 11th!”
Mac then started to become as much dumbfounded as I was as he had a stupid look on his face, “Uh, what does the 11th mean again?”
Forrest then said with a simple smile on his face as he slightly waved his left hoof at him, “You know what it means Mac.”
I then started to get fed up with all of them and just wanted simple answers to my questions, mostly being why they barged into my fucking home mother fucker.
So I built up a long groan and yelled out loud to them all as I raised my hooves into the air, “CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE 11TH MEAN!?”
Everyone else had wide eyes and pulled their pony ears back, except for Wolf…. He had wooden ears….
And from what seemed like usual, Neon slid from out of nowhere behind me and said as he smiled psychotically.
I turned my head to see him, surprised, yet not really as anyone else as he said to me “Why it’s the 11th Anniversary !”
Without caution, the whole room turned dark with a large spotlight still shining down on us from somewhere deep in from the dark void. We all pondered as we looked around, wondering what was even happening as Neon settled down and sat close to me. And right behind us, a giant number 11 dropped down and hanged from the heavens of the black void with confetti flying everywhere and fanfare playing in the background. And for a moment, we all smiled thinking this was a special moment to remember.
Wolf then ruined the moment like he always does and asked, “The 11th anniversary of what though?”
And then we all awkwardly sat there on our pony asses in silence, not knowing what to say about that.
Forrest put his right hoof to his chin as he pondered the thought, “Huh…. Good question….”
And we all sat there, wondering why the fuck we were even there, sitting in front of a giant number 11.
