BLAMMO!

by 2K Chrome

The Game

“And that’s how Equestria was made,” Pinkie Pie finished. The Mane Six were taking an afternoon stroll through Ponyville after a relaxing picnic in the park.

“Pinkie, that doesn’t even make sense,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “What does that…”

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” Twilight asked. She pointed to a large group of ponies crowding around city hall.

“Beats me,” Rainbow replied.

The group walked over to the crowd of ponies. Twilight tapped the pony in front of her on her shoulder. “Why’s everypony here at city hall?” Twilight asked the pony.

“The mayor told everypony that there would be an important announcement right about now. Something about a contest,” the pony responded.

“A contest!” Pinkie Pie yelled. “I love contests! They’re like really big games with a bunch of ponies to get the grand prize! And they’re soooo much fun!”

“What kind of contest? Oh, I do hope it’s not one of those rowdy ones like those Applejack takes part in,” Rarity chimed in.

“What kind of contest is it?” Rainbow asked the pony.

“I don’t know, Mayor Mare didn’t say much. Ooh! It’s about to start.” The pony turned around to face the large stage up front.

A tall stallion with a shimmering mane of royal purple stood on the stage. He was wearing a white tuxedo over his beige coat. The stallion paused and took a long look over his audience. He smiled and took out a shiny curved object form his pocket.

“This is a spoon,” the stallion started. “It has many uses. It can be used for eating soup, taking medicine, scratching your back when nopony is looking.” He received a small wave of giggles from the spectators. “But in the game I am about to tell you, it has a whole new purpose.”

“Umm… spoons?” Twilight whispered.

“Shh! I’m trying to listen!” Pinkie hissed. A wide smile was on her face as the stallion had finally mentioned the word, “game” and captured all of Pinkie’s attention.

“First off, my name is Carpe Diem. I am the owner of one of Equestria’s most successful spoon manufacturing companies. But as any good businesspony should, I wanted to find a new way to use the spoons my company made. So, I created a game I’d like to call ‘Blammo!’”

Mutters and whispers were passed through the herd of ponies. Many of them had puzzled, but curious looks on their faces.

“Now, you all may be wondering ‘What exactly is Blammo?’ Well if you were to ask me, it’s the new game sensation that’s sweeping the nation! The newest, most competitive sport around, with several successful tournaments in cities, such as Manehattan and Trottingham,” Carpe Diem continued.

“This is how the game works. Everypony has a hunter, everypony is hunted. This spoon is both your sword and your shield. If at any time you drop, lose, or are no longer touching your spoon, you are vulnerable to being Blammoed! A Blammo is when a pony successfully taps his or her target with her spoon and yells out, ‘Blammo!’ if his or her target does not have their spoon.”

“Everypony has a pony to hunt, who is hunting another pony, who is hunting another pony, and keeps on going until that last pony is hunting the first pony. It’s a giant circle, essentially. Everypony has three days to Blammo his or her target, otherwise, they are eliminated from the competition. After the three day period, there will be a ‘grace’ period when our facilitators mark down all the Blammoed ponies and give out new targets to those who remain. Then, another three day period for Blammo goes by and we repeat. Ponies keep being removed from the game until only a few ponies are left. The ponies will then have two weeks to Blammo one another or the game will end in a tie.”

“To clarify, say that I was playing Blammo. I would be hunting my target. If I see that my target is not holding their spoon, I will go up to my target and yell, ‘Blammo!’ Then I will go here to record my Blammo kill and receive a new target. I don’t have to go after my second target, but I can if I want. I wait for the three day period to end and will get a new target after two days. Any questions?” Carpe diem asked.

Dozens of hooves were raised. Carpe Diem searched through the sea of hooves and finally picked one.

“What exactly do you get when you win?” the pony asked.

“Oh yes! Forgot about that. It is ten bits per entry and the final winner will receive 5,000 bits in prize money. Unless of course the game ends in a tie, and the money will then be divided. Also, you will be given a large golden trophy stating that you are the ‘Blammo Champion of Ponyville’.”

“5000 bits!” Rainbow yelled. “Imagine what I can do with that. I could buy tickets to every Wonderbolts show for the next three years!” Rainbow exclaimed with a loud squee.

“Well with all those winnins’, ah could do a whole lot of fixin’ up around the farm. Ah could replace that saggy, old roof. And Big Macintosh could replace that saggy, old plow. And Granny Smith could replace her saggy, old hip!” Applejack added.

“I could buy cupcakes every day for a whole year!” Pinkie chimed.

“Pinkie, you make cupcakes for a living,” Twilight remarked.

“Yes. But now I could actually pay for them! Instead of having to go through all the trouble of sneaking them behind Mrs. Cake’s back.”

“Anyways,” Twilight continued, “I could use some new books for the library. And Spike’s been eating a lot more gems lately too.”

Rarity and Fluttershy remained silent of the prospects of fortune. Rarity already having a very successful dress-making career, and Fluttershy satisfied with her humble and down-to-earth way of life.

The chatter among the crowd of ponies eventually died down, and Carpe Diem began to speak again.

“Now that I see I have everypony’s attention yet again, I would like to explain the restrictions of Blammo. All spoons must be at least twenty percent visible so the hunter can tell whether or not you have a spoon on you. Anypony can be Blammoed if they are not in possession of their spoon. Every place is considered a ‘Blammo-zone’ except for ponies’ own homes and restrooms. The spoon could be carried anywhere on the body as long as it would fall to the ground if the pony’s body hung limp. For example, a pony can carry a spoon in their mouths or between their hooves. But a pony cannot balance it on their back or tape it to their bodies as it would not fall to the ground. Lastly, unicorns can use their magic to hold their spoons, so long as the spoon is within three feet of their body.”

“For taking spoons, nopony is allowed to use magic on or forcibly take their target’s spoon. They are allowed to trick their target to drop their spoon or snatching it from the pony if they are not touching it. Any questions now?”

Another wave of hooves were thrown in the air with the new set of rules. Carpe Diem picked Rainbow Dash, hovering high in the air.

“Doesn’t that give unicorns an unfair advantage? What about Earth ponies and Pegasi?” Rainbow asked.

“Don’t Pegasi have an advantage for being able to fly?” Carpe Diem asked. Rainbow put a hoof up to her head and shrugged.

“Exactly. Unicorns have an advantage because they can teleport and use their magic. Pegasi have an advantage because they can fly and live on clouds. Earth ponies, well they don’t really have an advantage. So, to make the game more fun and fair, the Earth ponies get their own benefit. Earth ponies have the ability to Blammo their target, even if the target is in their own home.”

A loud surge of boos came from the non-Earth ponies in the crowd. Carpe Diem calmly waited for the utterance to die down.

“However, Earth ponies cannot Blammo a target at home between the hours of 10 at night and 6 in the morning.” Hooves stomped on the ground and cheers pierced the air at this new piece of information. “In addition, Earth ponies and unicorns can be granted a Cloud-Walking Spell if their target is a Pegasus.”

“Wait a second!” Rainbow yelled. “That’s totally not fair!”

Carpe Diem shook his head. “It is clearly fair game. Pegasi can have an Earth pony or a unicorn as their hunter and just stay in the clouds all day. This gives Pegasi a huge advantage, and this is the best way to resolve it, other than kicking Pegasi out of their homes during the day.”

Rainbow opened her mouth to argue back, but stopped when she couldn’t find a comeback. Thus, she complied by crossing her arms and pouting.

“Any other questions?”

“What if you lose your spoon?” a pony asked.

“Ah, good question. Well, you have to hope for the best during the rest of the day. At nine o’clock at night, our facilitators will appear here at Ponyville City Hall to distribute spoons. Only twenty new spoons will be distributed a day, first come first serve. Also, please be a good sport and play honest. Don’t claim you lost your spoon when you really didn’t, just so you can have back-up spoons in case you lose yours. But on the other hoof, if you happen to find spoons lying on the ground, they are allowed to be used. So I advise that if you are Blammoed, to destroy your spoons before somepony can use it.”

“Any others?”

No hooves were placed in the air this time round. Carpe Diem waited a few more seconds to ensure there were no more questions.

“Any following questions can be answered here at city hall by our facilitators. All Blammoes must be recorded here. The pony that Blammoed his or her target will be the one to tell us of their success. And with that, the sign-up sheets are now open at those tables. And to everypony, I wish you all the best of luck.”

The crowd of ponies rushed towards the tables, all eagerly wanting to join in on the game.

“Wow! A lot of ponies sure want to participate,” Twilight stated.

“Now this may be a competition worth playing. The game seems completely civilized and in no way uncouth,” Rarity added.

“I don’t know,” Fluttershy said, speaking for the first time since arriving at city hall. “The idea of somepony stalking you all day is quite… startling,” she said with a shudder.

“C’mon Fluttershy, it’ll be fun! I can’t wait to sign up! Let’s sign up now!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Yeah! Who’s going to compete?” Rainbow asked her friends.

Everypony, save Fluttershy, raised their hooves. After seeing everypony’s hooves raised, Fluttershy meekly raised a hoof of her own. “Yay,” she said softly.

“Woohoo! May the best pony win!” Rainbow yelled. Everypony else in the group cheered. They trotted over to the tables and waited in line.

After half an hour of waiting, Twilight was the first to sign up.

“Your target will be given to you via mailpony in three days,” the pony on the other side of the table said. “If you see a pony wearing this badge,” the pony pointed to a red badge with the word “Blammo!” etched into it, “then walk up to him or her and ask for your target. But make sure you keep your target quiet! You never know if your friends tell your target that they’re being hunted by you. Be careful of who you tell.” Twilight received a special Blammo spoon, a shining silver spoon with the word, “Blammo!” engraved into its head.

Twilight looked over to her friends. She would trust them to the end of her life. “I think I can trust my friends,” she responded.

Little did these ponies know just how serious this game was going to get.

Comments

[KillJoy]

TRACKED! I WANNA READ HOW THIS SHIT GOES DOWN!

[KillJoy]

I imagine it as something like this

[Lucefudu]

This is definitely something new and original. A good read for a site with so many repeated stuff going on. Tracked to see where it goes.

[2K Chrome]

Oh, and if there are any OCs from stories you want me to add into the game, I can probably do that. (because I'm still figuring out who's going after who)

[Griffin2x]

Very interesting concept, good story so far. Tracking.

[JustAnotherBadSonicOC]

i was like where's rainbow dash then i was like oh there she is she's just got her lil' head poopin out!

[Phoenixfire92]

Interesting good sir. Consider yourself tracked...and take these uh...
"stars?"
Thanks pinkie. Yeah take these stars.

[DiStort]

Holy shit, the spoon game! Dude, I played this all the time at summer camp when I was a kid!
(Usually one of the first out, but that's another story.)
Consider my interest piqued.

[iloveportalz0r]

I just lost The Game

[Raven Smite]

Well... If KillJoy-dono and iloveportalz0r-dono approve of it, then I will give it a chance...

[Dashie McCourty]

407457

Same here :/