Of Pink and Time

by Redante

Chapter 1

At sugercube corner in the late afternoon, an emperor, unknown to Equestria whole. had come to honor a promise,

it was an odd sight.

And a odd promise; he would teach an hyperactive filly the secrets of time-travel with a lean amount of necessary dimensional knowledge. The entire idea, naturally, sounded preposterous. But she had proven to be a fantastic diplomat. By his mane that were the most delicious muffins the dead empire had ever seen!

it was truly an odd sight;

The emperor of all things quite dead, a noble with a spine said to be made of cast steel. Stainless steel. Bearer of the undead crown, rightfull ruler to Deadquestria and it's inhabitants as a god. He was Redeadne Graveshifter, Earth-pony-turned-imperial-turned-half-way-giant.

...Looked on, as a happy, boucing Party pony made imaginary rounds of merrily-going-around. Singing.

And we're going to see the time line!
And we're going to see the time line!
And we're going to see the tiiiiiimeeee Liiiiiiine!

She managed to balance herself on one hoof, spreading the other three in every direction physically possible. He was still wondering how the pink mare EVER managed to pop randomly out behind his imperial throne one day.

...Except clocks are round, so a line is far to straight to go around!

She ended the song with a wave of infectatious laughter. Even the necromantic dark-grey tissue that made up the Emperor's face, tugged into a soft smile. The pink pony finally settled down and reached for her equipment; nothing more but a mysteriously looking laptop. Deadquestrian model.

"Well then. I reckon you are awaiting adventure? And a good measure for time-travel anatics to show the mortals how it functions?"

He felt a pang of regret.

MEMO: TEMPORAL SHENENIGANS
LOCAL TIME, STILL.

PP: Yesyesyesyes!
PP: Already went ahead and turned on the memo!
ERG: Good good. This memo has no stationary position in the flow of time itself thus allowing other time-lines to log on and talk with us.
PP: For you people that shamefully never read a book on time, this means that my FUTURE self can talk to me over this channel!

*FUTURE-PINKIE PIE HAS JOINED*

FPP: Here we are! Thank celestia for boundariless communication without the mechinations of quantum physics playing Metaphysical consequence into our face!
PP: Ohh! Did I read that big book I found laying around at twilight'?
FPP: Sure did! I also took the dictionary
PP: Good idea, I don't wanna end up reading words that I don't understand!
ERG: Care for a little experiment?
FPP: Yes!
PP: Yes!
ERG: Okay, hold on. I'm turning on interdimensional capabilities
*INTERDIMENSION MODE ON, STABILITY 88.34%-91.33%*
ERG: NOW! Write down a memo to yourself that you will join this room exactly an hour later!

*FUTURE-PRESENT PINKIE PIE JOINED*

*FUTURE-FUTURE PINKIE PIE JOINED*

FPPP: Whee! It worked!
FFPP: Yeah! But how come our PAST-PRESENT selves are still present?
PP: Hahahaha! 'present' *snort* Hahaha!
ERG: With interdimensional variety on, one can now communicate inbetween temporal dimensions created through the principle of uncertainity; for every decision excists a seperate dimension to host various degrees of impact that the decision had.
PP: Oooh! Sounds fancy! So if I invite myself over by making more notes, I can meet me from diffrent places in the universe?
ERG: Err...more or less, it still remains theoratical.
PP: That is so awesome! Hey FFPP! How is a hour ahead in time?
FFPP: Very timely!
PP: Hahahaha!
FPP: Hahahaha!

*ALTERNATE PRESENT PINKIE JOINED*

APP: Oh, Heya!
PP: Hiii! Welcome to the Temporal chatroom of awesome!
FPP: I have this awesome idea, why not attempt to meet eachother in ONE timeline? I'm going to build a timemachine rigth away!
ERG: That....is highly improbable, nopony has ever managed to travel back in time.

*FUTURE PINKIE PIE LEFT*

*ALTERNATE FUTURE PINKIE JOINED*

AFP: I can't believe it didn't work!
AFP: I even tried having Twilight to sneeze to go ZAP, but nothing works!
PP: Awww..I'm sorry Alternate Future Pinkie! But you still have us to talk to.
FFPP: Yeah! And I know just the thing for this, right, myself?
FPPP: PAR-TAY!
PP: YAY PAR-TAY!

*PAST/FUTURE PINKIE PIE JOINED*

P/FPP: YAY PARTY LIKE IT'S 30 YEARS IN THE PAST!
PP: WHEEE!
ERG: Ohdeargoddess. I can't believe that you actually managed to pull that off.
P/FPP: Aww, it was a piece of cake! I only had to make Luna sneeze over it and POOF! Off I went...err...go...Going to!
AFP: I KNEW IT.
AFP: Princess powerrrr.
P/FPP: Okay, but nopony I know is born yet! Well horseapples!

*PAST/FUTURE PINKIE PIE LEFT: RECKLESS TIMEJUMP ATTEMPT 2*

*PRESENT/FUTURE-FUTURE PINKIE PIE JOINED*

PP: Heey! 10 years later I reckon?
PFPP: If this is sugarcube corner, then open the door! Princess Celestia and pepper make an intresting match.
PP: Oh my goddess! Hiiii!
PFPP: I'm sitting next to you, silly pony! Do you have a towel?
ERG: Okay. Shenanigans aside. You just managed to create your own temporal paradox clone.
PP: Oooh, what does that mean?
APP: Probably that you are now two!
AFP: Two of me? Then...

*PRESENT/FUTURE PINKIE PIE JOINED*

*PAST/PRESENT FUTURE FUTURE PINKIE PIE JOINED*

AFP: ...Four for partaay!
P/PFFPP: This is getting silly! Look at how long my name is!
P/FPP: Okay, so is this a problem?
PFPP: Whee more me!
ERG: The universe did not explode, nor did it collapse or anything else...
ERG: So I guess we're doing good.

*NIGHTMARE MOON JOINED*

PP: Eeep! Black snooty!
NMM: Silence you foal!
APP: Wait didn't my alpha dimension present self stop/destroy you?
PFPP: Why not ask the future?
P/PFFPP: Yeah! we were going to kick your flank...wait, Future-tense....DID kick your flank, and hard!
NMM: That much I give you. But I am still VERY MUCH alive. Bwaahhahaha!
ERG: What the hay? How did you get on this place?
NMM: Thanks to you I managed to obtain this information exhanging device!
ERG: Oh myself. But you're still on the moon!
PP: My laptop? How did you get that thing then?
P/FPP: or your mane in shape?
NMM: I well....err...THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

*ALTERNATE PAST FUTURE FUTURE PINKIE PIE JOINED*

APFFPP: Everypony! Black snooty took my laptop!
PP: OH no!....wait...how are you typing this?
AFP: did you use the time machine to jump to a diffrent past?
APFFPP: I would have, if I wasn't thrown into another Dimension!
NMM: What timemachine?
F/FPP: The one I have too?
APFFPP: The one I left at the old palace!
AFP:...
ERG:...
NMM: Oh, there.

*FUTURE NIGHTMARE MOON JOINED*

*PAST/FUTURE NIGHTMARE MOON JOINED*

*PAST/FUTURE PRESENT NIGHTMARE MOON JOINED*

ERG: Oh crud.
P/FPNMM: STOP. GIVING. ME. IDEAS.
P/FPNMM: Stupid pink manace! going into future to get off the moon then to double team it to the past proved to be an ASTOUNDINGLY STUPID IDEA.
AFP: Well, you could go to the past and...

*ALTERNATE FUTURE PINKIE LEFT: BANNED FROM SERVER*

ERG: NO.
ERG: NO.
ERG: NO.
ERG: JUST NO.
ERG: THERE IS JUST ABOUT ENOUGH PARADOX HERE TO MAKE FREAKING CORKSCREW-LOOP-DEE-LOOP.
PP: Aww, don't get mad silly Redeaddy!
PP: We won't cuase any more time-related trouble!
ERG: Save for the fact you have Tripled Nightmare moon.
APP: Details, details. We beat four of them, and I only had this conversation twice!
F/PFFPP: Okay, so the Black Snooties are APP's universe or that of ours. But they are still trapped on the moon!
PP: Yeah, we beat her easily when she was alone, so why is this any diffrent?
FPPP: We sure did!
ERG: Hold on. What?
ERG: All three?
ERG: Uh-oh...
APP: Don't worry, you only had ONCE the kick-flank!
ERG: Huh? what are you going on about?

*PINKIE PIE LEFT: TIMEOUT*

*ALTERNATE PRESENT PINKIE LEFT: METAPHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES*

*FUTURE PRESENT PINKIE LEFT: TIMEOUT 2X COMBO.*

*PAST/PRESENT FUTURE FUTURE PINKIE PIE LEFT: METAPHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES*

*FUTURE NIGHTMARE MOON LEFT: CEASED TO EXCIST*

*PAST/FUTURE NIGHTMARE MOON LEFT: CEASED TO EXCIST*

*PAST FUTURE PRESENT NIGHTMARE MOON LEFT: CEASED TO EXCIST*

*ALTERNATE PAST FUTURE FUTURE PINKIE PIE LEFT: CEASED TO EXCIST*

*PRESENT/FUTURE PINKIE PIE LEFT: DEPARADOXIFIED*

*PINKIE PIE JOINED*

PP: That was fun!
PP: Hey, where is everpony off to?
ERG: Err..They ceased to excist.
PP: Ouchie! Lucky us this timeline didn't!
ERG: Quite so.
NMM: Right, so where was that...uh...what we're we talking about again?
NMM: ARRG. I bet the one named PP set something up absurbt!
NMM: Consider me leaving!

*NIGHTMARE MOON LEFT: USER DISCONNECTED, RESTORED TO TIMELINE.*

ERG: Right. I hope everypony does now get the conceptual idea of time travel.
PP: More like, silliness!
PP: I mean, this is soooo much fun! I met myself and made another one of myself in time with my other said self and then we did timemachine travel and POOF! snooty appeared and did the same thing! That silly pony! Hahahaha!
ERG: Indeed Pinkie, indeed.
PP: Oh! Oh! oh! Twilight was saying something about 'Traveling between dimensions' which sounded booooring, but Twilight wants to try it anyway, could we try it like this? Here? Please please please?

*PINKIE PIE BANNED FROM SERVER*

ERG: NO.
ERG: NO.
ERG: NO.
ERG: SERIOUSLY BAD IDEA.
ERG: WORST EVER.
ERG: That's it! I'm shutting this gig down.

*ADMIN CLOSED MEMO: 'TEMPORAL SHENENIGANS' SERVER SHUTTING DOWN..."

After the Emperor explained how such stuff worked, and a fierce scolding on 'not-to-tamper-with-the-reigns-of-time', Pinkie was once again bouncing down the road towards the Library. At which she found Spike staring hapelessly at a scorched spot of wood where once a bunch of ponies had been.

Spike explained how Twilight and Fluttershy had made some tea for the gathered friends, it was a completely regular, ordinary, Equestrian tea party. However Twilight started on her newly found topic of Inter-dimensions, and denoted how silly and dangerous it sounded in full practice and POOF, everypony was gone! She didn't even as much as LOOK like casting a spell.

And according to Spike, whom still hasn't looked at Pinkie during the whole exchange, even Princess Celestia has no idea how to get them back. And seemed awfully distracted, as he remembered her writing.

"But Spike.."

"No..I'm sorry but I'm going to close the Library-" His eyes finally fell on the pink pony, who greeted him a second time, just as cheery.

"PINKIE?! But you...I...what?"

"Oh! Everything is alright Spikey-wikey! Twilight has the best version of me at her side!" At this she deposited the 'laptop', as she explained it to a confused spike, and pointed at a line of text...

MEMO: PINKIENENIGANS UNITE! WHEE!
LOCAL TIME, QUITE.

FPP: Good call making a seperate server!
FPP: You'll never guess where Me, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy are!!

"Spikey, we're gonna save them! And we're not gonna do that alone!"

Spike blinked.

Twice.

Comments

[Darkhorse]

*ALTERNATE FUTURE PINKIE LEFT: BANNED FROM SERVER*

ERG: NO.
ERG: NO.
ERG: NO.
ERG: JUST NO.
ERG: THERE IS JUST ABOUT ENOUGH PARADOX HERE TO MAKE FREAKING CORKSCREW-LOOP-DEE-LOOP.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What. This made me laugh so hard that i cried. You, sir, have a future in comedy!