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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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2594955
:3
You'll see. Also I'm glad you liked it. =)
Whew, okay, took me awhile, but managed to get caught up with this story. Hmm, so thoughts:
One thing I love about fanfiction that I don't get with officially published works is that I get to see the improvement of an author over time. Its a distinct pleasure to see someone's writing style become honed over the course of chapters, as I've seen here with Brotherhood. Both descriptions and overall flow of words have improved a lot from early chapters to what we have now, and I look forward to seeing more as you go on with this.
I like that this is all written in third person; kind of refreshing after all the first person FoE stories out there. While I still kind of think their names are odd, I like Adam and Neo's dynamic with each other, and their ability to support one another. They're definitely the core strength of this story. Could do with some more regular side characters, or at least one or two who would join the brothers on a more solid basis, but in a way its also kind of cool that they seem to gain temporary companions for each area they visit before moving on.
I like Ironhoof city; you did a good job with that city's overall feel and design, being both lively and dangerous at the same time.
Not a lot I can say plot-wise yet, as it looks like things are still brewing and coming together in that regard. We got this conflict between the Coalition and Ironhoof Legion, but the brothers are only invested in it as a side affair to finding their mother, which they're still following the trail of. They've gotten involved in a lot of mini adventures, but I'm looking to see how it will all tie together and how their mother will fit into the bigger picture. Overall though you've held my interest and I'll look forward to seeing more of where this goes.
2613535
Wow thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm really try focusing on all of my characters more than anything. I understand what you mean with the side characters bit, and right now I'm kind of getting into that. But I wanted to go for something a little different as I played Fo3, because I never really had one or two people following me all the time. (Minus dog meat, god bless dog meat.) Though I would always come back and see how those previous companions were, and sometimes take them with me on an adventure.
I'm kind of doing that here, though at the moment I've already planned who is going to be in the group and who is going to stay etc. But overall I'm glad you're enjoying it. I had a lot of fun with making Ironhoof City, and the time they spent there.
- Noawolf