I have to agree with the author's note. This chapter *did* feel off. The fact that Tom was a stone-cold killer was glossed over far to quickly. Get a pony in there to witness, that way you have a foil to bounce off of Thomas' behaviour. Another thing that could have been done was to have the gryphons discuss the matter a bit closer, for pursposes of characterization, and possibly to *show* that they would have done the same thing.

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I was intending to get into the 'cold killer mentality' and the reasons why further in the following chapter, and probably somewhat in chapter six. That this is based off of Option Gamma should give you an indication of how the Gryphons would act already.

2611845 The gryphons would have done the exact same, then removed the head, and delivered it to the HLF, but Thomas is not a gryphon, and all the others know that.

Secondly, you should aim to make your fiction approachable, even if someone hasn't read Option Gamma. But honestly, spoon-feeding details is immensely preferable to info-dumping.

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Yeah, I'm trying to (heh) strike a balance between little tidbits and "here's all this information!"

... which is why I was saving a chunk of the heavy stuff for next chapter. Quite a bit of openness, at long last. There's gonna be a sit-down, believe me.

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It also felt 'off' to me, and kind of rushed as well...

One way to fixed the 'rushed' would be to describe in more detail the HLF mook as Tom is examining him in the interrogation room. Physical appearance, details of his clothing, etc. Maybe even speculations to his motivations and/or what Tom knows about the guy's background This could make it more impactful when Tom shoots him.

But the thing that really felt 'off' for me... well, where was the Bureau's HUMAN security force? Why is a civilian, one with ties to a terrorist group, being allowed to run this interrogation? (Maybe add a bit about the gryphons running interference, simple enough to add that to this chapter.)

Then, in a future chapter, have Tom face some official displeasure for his actions. A stern talking to by a human officer who doesn't approve of shooting unarmed people in the back, maybe losing some privileges (no weapons outside of training sessions, confinement to quarters in free time). Seeing how Tom reacts to this (does he accept it? or does he try and weasel out of it?) could go a long way to shaping how his new gryphon friends view him.

This could also be a chance to show how human and gryphon ethics differ; given that gryphons all have similar ethics, they are much more likely to accept 'they needed killing' as valid than a human would. Humans created things like 'due process' to keep their agents of justice from slipping over into agents of blind vengeance.

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As I've discussed with Guardian about this, Bureaus are sovereign soil. They hold to Equestrian mandates. Draconic edicts. Gryphic laws. Unless the security is JRSF (and they ain't), human laws do not apply. Thomas got to 'run' the interrogation because of his history with the HLF. The fact that they're holding his best friend somewhere, and cutting off parts to coerce him back through the use of force upon a third party. You know what that is? that's a hostage negotiation. And Gryphons don't take kindly to the use of 'human shields'. They would have likely taken Jack out themselves, if Thomas hadn't done it.

As for the repercussions? I'm getting into that next chapter. Tommy boy's due for a talk with Merkus... and the old soldier is going to be as blunt as you might imagine.

Wait wait....Did he just murder somebody?! Like in cold blood?! and he's not going to JAIL?! Even if the bureaus are sovereign soil, they got to have laws against killings, I mean come on, he shot a guy right, literally right outside a conversion bureau and poof no problems!!! What happened to the rule of law, or civilization for that matter! No wonder the hlf does whatever they want, apparently you can shoot people in broad daylight and nothing happens......