Next week I shall be running through the opening 10 chapters to find any errors that both of my initial hunts missed. Comments are greatly appreciated.
Now onto another chapter. It is a smaller one so I apologize.
Chapter 11
Robert continued his quickened pace jog as he began testing out his newly repaired knee. Meanwhile, Twilight followed from afar hoping to find out more about this human named Robert.
“This must be a damned dream, this knee hasn’t felt this great in years.” Robert commented to himself as he hopped over a downed tree.
The officer held grabbed his helmet and better secured it then swung his rifle into a shooting position and began aiming it around him.
{Oh no, he saw me} Twilight thought as she kept very still behind a bush.
“Bewegung Hans, ich können keinen klaren Schuss erhalten!” (Move Hans, I can’t get a clear shot!) Rob suddenly yelled as he rolled over in the leaves setting up in a prone position.
{Hmm?} Twilight now sat up confused.
“Feindliche Fußtruppen 700 Meternorden, Hans steigen herunter, bevor Sie entdeckt sind.” (Enemy infantry 700 meters north, Hans get down before you’re spotted.) Robert yelled at nothing as he crawled up to a downed tree
and checked his iron sights.
{What the hay is he doing? Some human ritual?} Twilight continued to think as she wrote in her small observation journal.
After sitting in that position about 5 minutes, the Oberst began imitating another voice and yelled, “Charge!” before lunging over the log and charging forward up the slight incline. Then he quickly dove behind a tree and fired a shot into the forest causing birds to fly away. “Erraten Sie, dass ich noch es habe.” (Guess I still have it.).
Twilight then crept closer to see what he had shot, she was pleasantly surprised to see him poking a tree.
“100 Meter, nachdem in Deckung gehend, nicht schlecht. Ich sicher hat Sie Knie verpasst. “ (100 meters after taking cover, not bad. I sure missed you knee.) Robert said he rubbed his knee with a smile. He then switched the safety back on before slinging the gun again. Then he began to walk again.
{Hmm, what was that all about} Twilight thought to herself as she continued to follow the officer from a distance.
After about an hour more of what appeared to be aimless wandering, Oberst Johansson finally found his camp again. “Jetzt um dieses fremde Albtraum zu beenden.”(Now to end this strange nightmare.) he sighed as he started to hunt for the bucket in his supplies. “Trauriges Knie, aber Sie sind unmöglich.” (Sorry knee, but you are not possible.) he added as he rubbed his former bad knee.
Twilight arrived to the scene and stood shocked at strange device with a wheel and two strange longer wheels sitting near the archway she had investigated only a week earlier. {How can this thing work? What are those weird wheel like structures?}
After an hour of searching and fetching water Robert stood outside his tent and dumped the cold water over his head while he yelled, “Tschüs, unheimliche Welt!” (Bye, weird world!)
This sudden outburst startled Twilight out of her trance caused by her thorough hooves-on investigation of the device owned by the officer.
“Scheiße” (Shit!) he yelled upon seeing he was now just a wet officer in this strange world.
{I must be dead then, that’s the only answer to this world of talking ponies and magic. That means, maybe if I kill myself I can reset the whole system; or if I live I can obviously know. Then again if both do not happen, hell does it really matter. I have nothing left back in Germany for me, my family is dead, my country is trying to join them, and I have to deal with the SS constantly ever since Africa} Robert deduced as he sat on his bunk he had created.
He reached toward his holster only to find it empty. With a very pronounced sigh he wandered out of his tent and became startled by the sight of Twilight attempting to draw the treads of his transportation. “Well, hello again
Miss Sparkle, what are you doing here?” Robert said with some confusion.
{Darn, he saw me} Twilight thought as she tried to hurry an excuse.
“I can tell you followed me….” the Oberst inferred.
“I was…..how did you know…I mean…” Twilight stuttered.
“For starters you’re wearing a adventurer’s hat. Not to mention the grass, tree leaves, and sap you have all over your body.” Robert said as he rolled his eyes at the sorry attempt of stealth.
“Oh, well I’m just fascinating by your many unknowns along with this magnificent device.” she said defensively as she pointed to the Kettenkrad behind her.
“Ok then,” Robert said sarcastically as he pulled out another pistol from his bag situated on the transport.
“What are you doing with that?” Twilight said as she began to worry slightly.
“I’m going to use this C96 and end this whole confusing scenario.” Robert said as he loaded a clip of ammo into his pistol.
“I don’t understand.” Twilight replied.
“I’m going shoot myself, simple as that. ” Robert angrily shot back.
“But life is always worth saving.” Twilight replied hoping to talk down the distraught officer.
“I’m not going to commit suicide Twilight. I plan to shoot myself in the hip to see if it hurts.” Robert said with a smug look.
“Umm, why wouldn’t it hurt?” Twilight asked confused by his logic.
“Because this is a dream, or I’m already dead. Either way, even if I do die from this, there isn’t anything for me to live for.” Robert said as he frowned while putting his hand on his face.
“Why isn’t your life worth living? Life is a grand thing.” Twilight asked.
“For starters, my family is dead, and my fiancé ran off with some Gestapo agent while I was defending the
Fatherland in Africa!” he yelled while shaking his pistol with gestures.
“Oh, how horrible. I’m sorry for your loss.” she said with concern.
“Thank you, but no one understands where I’m coming from, not even you Miss Sparkle. No book can ever explain it.” the officer replied as he motioned to as if he were reading a book. Then he readied his pistol and aimed directly at his hip. Twilight seeing this grabbed the pistol from Robert with her magic and used a sleeping spell on the officer before hovering his body to the bunk inside the tent. Her horn glowed again as she influenced Robert’s dreams to mask the whole event.
“Maybe, if he doesn’t figure it out, he will finally give up on this being a dream and start living in reality.” Twilight said as she brought the covers over Robert. “Oh, almost forgot.” Twilight reminded herself as she magically dried his clothes.
As she sat down to read one of his books, she noticed a bag below his bed. “Hmm, what’s this?” Twilight asked aloud as she grabbed it. She then magically emptied the contents revealing an egg.
“How did he get a dragon egg in here?” Twilight asked while she scratched her head. She deemed the egg healthy with a quick magical analyzing spell and quickly tucked it into the excess covers at the end of the bed.
Outside tent towards the south
“zzzzttchhhzzz Come in home camp, over zzzzzchtthch” said the soldier into radio microphone.
“Hearing you loud and clear, over.” a voice replied from the radio speakers.
“The officer has returned to his tent with some colored horse. Over” the soldier continued.
“Fine, make sure we don’t show ourselves to him. Over” the radio replied.
“Yes sir, Over.” the soldier ended the conversation as he turned off the radio.
Back in the Tent
2 hours later
The officer in his magically dried clothes began to stir as his sleeping spell slowly wore off.
“Well hello there sleepy head.” Twilight said attempting to play oblivious to the past events.
“Oh, hello Twilight, oh damn! I guess I’m not dreaming, or dead for that matter.” Robert said as he rubbed his thigh.
“Please, no more shooting yourself in the hip to prove a point. I don’t have endless knowledge in the medical field.”
Twilight said finishing her impressive hypnotic spell which convinced Robert he wasn’t dead.
“Sorry, but I really do feel lost in this whole world. Magic is completely fictional where I am from, not to mention
talking ponies.” Robert said as he fell into depression.
“I shall teach you that magic is not as you see. It has science to it, as Star Swirl the Bearded once said, ‘Magic is just as much a science as it is an art.’” Twilight said in a reassuring manner.
“I guess that might help.” Robert responded cutting her tangent off.
“Now where did you get this?” Twilight said as she floated the egg in front of him.
“Uhh, I have no idea where it came from; though I can think of a couple good recipes for a chicken egg of that magnitude.” Robert concluded as his mouth watered.
“No! This is a dragon egg.” Twilight said disgusted at the thought of eating a baby dragon.
“What? Then I don’t have any idea how it got in here. Unless….” Robert said as an idea dawned on him.
“What are you thinking?” Twilight asked as she lowered the egg back into its prior position.
“Maybe a few of Oberst Fransheim’s cronies arrived while I was gone. But that would mean the portal would have
been opened much earlier than I was told.” the Oberst stated as he rubbed his chin.
With that Robert and Twilight heard twigs breaking near the tent which brought Robert to his feet and he grabbed his C96 on the table.
“Come out with your hands or hooves up!” Robert yelled into the forest.
Twilight’s horn began to glow as she readied herself for whatever may pounce at them.
*twigs snap*
....I have only one thought,TAAAANK!
Oh, the first contact with the reinch at it's full power. I am looking foward to it.
Also, Twiligh is going to freak out once she finds out that they killed a dragon.
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Hello everypony! Stalin and crew here, bringing another installation of Stalinview!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Today, we presenting you "Blitz" version of Stalinview. We shall practice Blitz versions for 7+ chapter stories. We shall make a detailed Stalinview on first three chapters and big overall for the rest.
Let's dig into "Operation Ironhoof!"
---------------
"Finally something to kill!" yelled another soldier from the officer's left. "
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Your humble dictator. Dude. You're not playing FPS. This is war!
""Finally something to kill!" yelled another soldier from the officer's left."
i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png Yeah. Heal some hp, guys. This battle promising to be hard!
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png And don't forget to drink vodka! It shall give you +3 to STR!
"One of the guards had fallen asleep allowing for the British armor to get just inside of firing distance"
i40.tinypic.com/2h6y8eg.png Our soldiers, folks.
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png And i though Skyrim guards was stupid...
i43.tinypic.com/w2kmfo.png Oh, good thing that you censored the swearings. Stalin hates uncesnsored swearings!
"Deep in the former home of Celestia and Luna a light appears startling the bats which lived there. Suddenly three apples and a pencil come flying though. Then the light turns back off leaving the bats in utter chaos. Equestria had now been invaded! "
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Your humble dictator. Germans in Equestria, well then, on to next chapter.
----------------
"You had a piece of barrel in your leg along with multiple other wounds Leutnant"
i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png He met foe with SHOTGUN? In a middle of a battle? I thought they only using rifles...
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Yeah, using shotgun in real battle is almost suicidal, cuz Rifle's range is far more greater than shotgun's
"Fine, I’ll tell you; you are going to receive an Iron Cross Second Class and a Knight’s Cross for your valiant and heroic act of destroying a tank without any AT weapons along with saving five other soldiers."
i43.tinypic.com/w2kmfo.png Is that even possible in real life?
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Also, are you sure than making main agressors of WW2, ruled by war criminal and worst man IN THE WORLD is good idea? It is good though that Soviet Union hasnt entered yet. Cuz if you'll show them as villians, i shall stop reading. Why? CUZ I AM A FRIGGING STALIN the stallion...
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Seriously, it is highly uncomfortable for us to read from nazi perspective.
"Interesting, you have done well and you shall be rightfully Award DEAD."
i43.tinypic.com/w2kmfo.png ...WUT?
"FLASHBACK "
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Oh, thanks for telling me. Stalin hates flashbacks
"“What in tarnation could have left a Manticore like this?” questioned the orange pony as she adjusted her hat."
i40.tinypic.com/2h6y8eg.png WAAAAAAAAAAAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! This is not believable reaction for ponies! It's not even close! i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png They havent seen death in their lives! Picture like this should have a much deeper shock and impact on them!
-----------------
"I can’t hang my Hitler picture somewhere else since it isn’t huge"
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png Reminds me of Donald Duck's episode... With Nazis
"You bast###s!"
i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png Dafag? "Bastards" is not swearing, this word doesnt need to be censored. Cuz reading it like that first thing that come into mind is "Bastf*cks"
“He was nowhere near being a combatant and you had no reason to say otherwise! Plus what is that supposed to mean? He was still a human! He even was much more polite with me than any SS soldier I have ever met! You three are to come with me immediately, I am reporting you to your superiors.” he yelled as he grabbed one of the SS men’s uniforms and began to push him forward.
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Nope. Stalin still can't sympathise with thaT guy. Stalin would, IF he immideately dragged magnum out of his pocket and blow SS's heads off.
i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png Wow. you really hates Nazis boss.
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Well, duh! I am a frigging Stalin! The stallion.
"Stalliongrad"
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Oh! My hometown!
"This gun, they called it, could be used by ponies in battle with an effective range of 500m"
i40.tinypic.com/2h6y8eg.png It CANT be used by ponies. Ponies cant pull the trigger!
------------------
i43.tinypic.com/w2kmfo.png Okay, now let's do flash forward
OVERVIEW:
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png *sigh*. I am beginning
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png This is rather interesting story with unique idea to it. Stalin is happy that SS's shown as heartless bastards as they are, but still it's rather heavy fic to read.
Violence is overwhelming, but it is entirely understandable. (Duh, Nazis!)
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Stalin don't like the idea of robert using magic. It would've more interesting if it was Magic vs Technology and no humans posess magic.
i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png Also, i can't sympathise with any of your Nazi "protagonists" and i see them ALL as villians.
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Also, WHERE IS BATTLE CHOPPER VS DRAGON?!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Misha, go on.
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png Yes, boss.
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png Story is defenetely interesting! Your style lack of descriptions, but it is conservative minimalism. It helps reading a lot and always showing where we are.
And Misha likes Idea's execution!
i44.tinypic.com/1440085.png But still, non-pony characters are not ones to sympathise with.
VERDICT: Unique idea with interesting execution. Not without flaws, but defenetely worth reading!