Equestria has faced many enemies in their history, but none as evil as this one.
In 1942 the German SS discover an intergalactic portal by chance while escavating a cave intended to be used as a underground factory. The SS bring in scientists secretly to study the machine after witnessing its capabilities in a chance lightning strike. With the war turning sour the SS hatch a plan to colonize the planet. But with the discovery of intelligent life being present, the SS hatch a much more insidious plot of deception.
Leutnant Robert Johansson of the German Wehrmacht is an officer awarded two of the highest honors in the German military who is now going to face a challenge worse than a tank. Dealing with the SS, their treachery, and the fact he's lightyears from home on a planet filled with ponies.
Leave comments please :)
Hm, "Maty"? I've never heard Matildas called that before. Seems like a nickname the British or Americans would give them, but certainly not Germans.
The punctuation also needs a bit of work. Minor details
As per the actual story, I find the ending in Equestria to be rather... anticlimactic. "Deep in the former home of Celestia and Luna..." could use a little explanation later on. If I remember correctly, they never used to live in the Everfree Forest. And three apples and a pencil? Three apples make up AJ's cutie mark, but a pencil? Hardly qualifies as an "invasion". Also, another thing I noticed is that you switch near the end from past to present tense, and then briefly back again. I'd suggest trying to be a bit more consistent with that.
Seems like a good start. I will keep an eye on this.
144297
It's from the the 2nd episode of season 1. Where they fight with Nightmare Moon.
Tell me where the tense error is please. I believe you but can't hunt it down.
It seems a bit...rushed. However, I do like the concept. My name fits perfectly!
lol natzis in equestria never heard of that before, gone be so awesome
The ponies are in huge trouble if SS units get in through that portal, they have to find and close it before it's too late.
SS on ponyville?
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You have proven yourself to be worthy writer: five stars!
I would love if this Olaf guy wasn't some push-over 'make friends with the ponies' human. See that in too many HiE fics and it drives me insane. I wouldn't be so quick to trust these kind spoken things.
Hmm, while I like the concept of Nazis in Equestria, I don't particularly like the stupidly evil way the Nazis are being portrayed. I know the Nazis are evil ,with men like Amon Geoth in their ranks, it still doesn't seem very realistic. It just sounds silly and stupid to kill a scientist who was adamantly for the Nazi cause and who created a fully working portal to another world and who would know the intricate workings of the machine in case it broke. This is the beginning of the story, so maybe The Oberst will be stripped of command for damaging a valued asset to their cause, but it seems absolutely demented to kill the scientist right then and there. It would make more sense if the officer awarded the scientist a house, mansion, money, for a year or two and then kill him when he was absolutely sure he didn't need him anymore, but hey, it's your story. I'm also curious to see how this story pans out, whether the Nazis will be stupid and kill ponies for no reason, or if they'll be smart and manipulate them into thinking the Nazis are fighting against an evil entity. It really wouldn't be hard for the Nazis to do either, Equestria already has a governing body that is all-powerful, so Hitler being an absolute ruler would be believable to them and probably appeal to them more than any other government our world has. If these Nazis play their cards right, I could see the use of Equestria as a forward base of sorts, storing all their soldiers and men in Equestria ,as presumably the Allies do not have portal technology yet, and launch nearly perfect strikes against the Allies. Not to mention all the aid the Nazis would from the ponies for their "good" cause against the "evil" Allies, the Nazis were irrefutably evil, but they were not stupid, they could easily work this in their favor without being forced to fight the Princesses. I'm looking forward to where you will take this, but I am not sure where this will go from here, so I will hold off on rating for now, but it definitely has promise.
145850
Yes, the fact that the nazis came first will make them look like the "good" guys on the begining. I wonder how the author pretends to fix this and set nazis as enemys.
145850
The Scientist was killed in order to preserve the secretness of the project. Plus the Oberst didn't like the Doctor since he had taken matters into his own hands outside of the orders.
As for the Nazis being evil, I was attempting to contrast the Wher from the SS.
Lastly there will be alot of manipulation by their part. The Leutnant will be the lone human there on a full time basis, a few SS will spin the Equestrian government meanwhile.
i would use [ ] or < > or a different color font around the Germans speech to portray a foreign language just a tip for when the ponies and SS are around each other and the SS begin to speech German, also i cant wait to see if the allies catch onto the Germans plans and send help probably not but the Ponies getting a taste of good humans isn't always bad, anyway great story keep up the great work
As a piece of criticism, it doesn't seem to be as Nazi as it should. In any formal interaction, there should be some 'heil hitler'-ing.
152745
I'll have alot more in the interactions during the SS vs 1 Wher + ponies and leading up to it. Aside from that, I didn't want to over do it and maybe a bit of it was laziness:)
153110
Is the next chapter finished soon?
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Need MORE!
If thats okay.
My money is on the Waffen-SS.
Also Armed SS in conflict are the Waffen-SS.
Its coming, this weekend
3,000 words? yay.
And Trixie?
You are fucked.
Now this is starting to get interesting.
Me gusta.
Hah!Trixie has amniesa!
NO! That makes my heart AND brain ache. He lost his damn iron cross!
“Who, I may not see you but I can tell you need a better dentist..” Robert said.
Priceless.
I am enjoying this story so far expect for one thing. As a german I cringe at the translated german parts.
Maybe you need some help with that?
183923
I'm open to help, I just used an online translator device
184212
Maybe we could start with the correct translation of the lines in this chapter.
"Halt! Do not move or I'll shoot!" would be "Halt, bleiben Sie stehen oder ich schieße!" The "bleiben Sie stehen"(do not move) part is not neccesary. It sounds more like an order if cut out.
"Come out with your hands up! I will not shoot if you surrender peacefully!" = "Kommen sie mit erhobenen Händen heraus! Ich werde nicht schießen, wenn Sie sich friedlich ergeben!" Alternatively: "Kommen Sie mit erhobenen Händen heraus oder ich schieße!" Sounds better as an order in my opinion. You notice that he repeats the thread. Maybe a sign of panic? I would leave it out but then it wouldn't fit with the english text.
"I said to halt!" = "Stehen bleiben, habe ich gesagt!" Nothing wrong with this one.
"Aah Mom and Dad! Don’t leave me! I’ll retire from the army like they suggested and come home! NOOO" Oh dear, this one is a little difficult. I am not sure if there is a german word which equals retire, especially in the context of retiring from the army. Is that even possible? And does he say "Like they suggested..." or rather "Like you suggested..."?
I assume you mean the latter. In that case the closest translation I come up with would be: "Aah. Mutter, Vater, lasst mich nicht alleine! Ich werde aus der Armee austreten und nach Hause kommen, wie ihr es wolltet! NEIN!"
I hope could be of help.
I just noticed something.
"For to him all of them must be wearing high-heels of some sort or tap-dancing shoes. "
If I recall correctly most german boots at the time were hobnailed and had a horseshoe-shaped heel iron meaning that he sounds the same when walking. Just saying.
186479
True, but he obviously knows they arn't German Soldiers
Strip a german of his uniform?
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205441
He is not going to like it when he wakes up naked...
Lol... i can imagine him waking up naked with Molestia standing over him grinning.... And he is like WTF? A horse? Why am i naked? why is there a horse in a tub of ice with me!!!
Turn into pony.
First thing to do:Get your hat.
Dammit. He turned into a pony. Well, maybe I will just be going then. Unless he is actually going to turn back in 24 hours?
228245
Yes, he actually is
228205
Wouldn't it be your first
228286The TF2 Player in me says hell yes.
I wonder what his cutie mark is... -.-
I vote on it being the Iron Cross :D
228423
Probably an Iron Cross.
229093
Or it could also be something like a swastika. He may not have a Cutie Mark, seeing as he was just recently ponified.
Really SS? Really?
You REALLY belive that there is nothing inside that cave, hidden and waiting for idiots to wander in ?
I predict deaths by the SS side.
Also, Robert is not going to succed. Twilight will stop him. Bet 10 bucks.
The SS are in for a big, scaly, fire breathing surprise.
262409
That dragons not going to do that well vs 8.8cm flack cannons.
262873: Its a cave... Moving Flak-guns into the cave would be far too dangerous.
263169
I mean when it comes out.
263185
Don´t forget the tank that they want to take there.
Ahhh I love this fic so much as I am german my self. Though I hoped for some phanter action :D( wait its 1943 if I didn't screw up then that means there were none)
Hate to say I told you so about cannons vs dragon but... I told you so.
The 3rd Reich, not even dragons can stop them.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!He still thinks he is dreaming!......He is screwed.......
I've said this before and I'll say it again.
S.S for the win.
Hmmmm I wonder what kind of support vehicles you're going to intrudoce too. HERP DERP COMPANY OF HEROS NERD talking.
....I have only one thought,TAAAANK!
Oh, the first contact with the reinch at it's full power. I am looking foward to it.
Also, Twiligh is going to freak out once she finds out that they killed a dragon.