An Introduction To Madness

by Mynameistank

Alcoholism, Fun For The Whole Family

He bowed to all the ponies in front of him “Is that what you do after you eat meat?”
He shook his head “no, it’s not” he walked over to a map on the wall and started laughing,
Twilight looked at him “What’s so funny?”
He turned around “The names: Cloudsdale, Stalliongrad, Appleloosa, Brismane. Where I come from these are puns on horses and places: Clydesdale, Stalingrad, Appaloosa and Brisbane” Spike walked pass holding onto his stomach and belched a scroll.
Twilight picked it up with her magic and unravelled it, “It’s from the princess”
Thomas looked at her with a stupid look on his face “You don’t say” it read:

‘My faithful student Twilight, it has come to my attention that we do not know much about the human as I’m sure you’re aware, they were always considered fictional until now. I know that I have brought you to and from Canterlot since Thomas’ arrival and will need to bring you all, but this may wait for next week. Sincerely Princess Celestia – PS: notify Thomas that his is assigned town defender and will be paid, although due to our situation he will only receive 30 bits a week’

Twilight lifted her head from the scroll “It seems the princess wants you to protect the town”
Thomas asked her “Pay?”
Twilight was confused “Huh?”
“Am I getting paid? And if so how much?”
“Oh she said thirty bits a week, but that’s not much. She sent you ten already”
Thomas grabbed the coins “come on, we’re going to the bar”
Applejack tapped his leg “Ah hate tah tell ya, but tat’d only really get you one drink”
His face became upset “Oh well I’ll be at the pub” he ran out the door excited for some alcohol to touch his lips.

---

He reached the pub and walked in, he found a seat near the counter “What can I get for ya?” a light tan mare asked him
“I’ll have a bottle of vodka, thanks” he said as he positioned himself in a seat
She tilted her head “Are you sure you can handle it?” he nodded to her, she lifted a bottle from under the counter “Here you go, one bottle of vodka. That’ll be nine bits” he handed her the gold coins “You’re kinda funny shaped what are you?”
Thomas’s concentration broke from his drink “I’m not entirely sure myself, but I go under the race of Humans, even though I can do what actual humans can’t” he twisted the lid off the bottle and began drinking
“So what can you do that others can’t?” quizzed the barmare
He focused on the bottle mere centimetres away from his lips “Well I can speak, read and write in any language in existence. Even if I never heard it, I automatically know it” he had nearly finished his bottle and extended his arm to her “Name’s Thomas, Thomas Belinski”
She quickly picked up on the gesture and put her hoof in his hand and shook it “Galley Gutters, it’s not the nicest name for a girl like me, but what can you do”
The connection between the two broke “We’ll I’ll be off then”
She nodded at him “Come back soon”
His eyebrow arched, it was something in her voice “Why you have a problem?”
She was quiet for a moment “Well my ex-coltfriend is an alcoholic and he comes and beats me until I feed his addiction”
{Well I'm one too, I can just control it much better} Thomas’ jaw dropped “Anything else?”
A tear rolled down her cheek as she nodded “Those things come in once a week and I don’t think I’ll last another night here”
{Well Vlad you may just get your fill of violence} “You can come stay with me, if you want”
“But what about my Ex?”
His voice deepened “Oh, silly girl let me worry about that”
She bobbed her head “Thank you” just as she put her head on his shoulder a drunken Pegasus walked in. He swung his hoof directly at Galleys’ face, Thomas grabbed it and tossed the drunk at a post smacking it square on
“You-you-you’ll be sorry you did that” screamed the brown maned Pegasus behind a screen of alcoholism
Thomas broke Galley off softly “Excuse me, but we were talking before you came in” the slurred speech was hard to make out what he was threatening Thomas with, before he could react the Pegasus came at Thomas with his smashed bottle “THAT STILL HAD VODKA IN IT!!” attempting to stab the human he was met with a shoe up the side of the face, forcing him to land on his back “I want you to leave and never return or so help me Celestia I WILL MURDER YOU!! And it’s not like I’ve never done it before” for a split second the drunk saw some kind of wolf with tendrils coming out of its back, Thomas and Galley left the pub and locked it up with the drunk bleeding and running for his life.

---

There was a call for him from a mare in a house “You’re a male right?”
“Yeah I am”
“Don’t you have a field to be attending?” she and a few other mares were laughing,
Thomas’ voice deepened “You’re a woman right?” she nodded while laughing “then don’t you have a kitchen to be attending? Actually what are you doing out of it?”
She stomped her hoof at the ground “I am a mare you WILL LISTEN TO ME!!”
Thomas’ deep voice screamed “I WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOU, ONLY EVER MY MASTER” his voice returned “I must be going now” Thomas made his way back to Twilight’s.

---

Thomas knocked on the door the times before entering “Twi? Jackie? Dash?” he entered the door with Galley “They might be out. If you head up the stairs, open the door and that’s the bedroom, around the corner of here is the kitchen and that’s about all of this place” she nodded and trotted up the stairs to get some rest.
The minutes passed and Pinkie Pie energetically entered the room “HIYA THOMAS”
He quietly ran over to Pinkie with a finger covering her lips “Pinkie shh I got someone sleeping upstairs and she’s been through a lot”
Twilight ran past Pinkie “YOU DID WHA—”
Thomas’ hands grabbed Twilights’ muzzle and forced it shut, then let her go “I thought I had to protect this town”
She nodded “You do, but you don’t bring strange ponies home with you”
Thomas pushed Twilights’ chest area “Listen, her bar was a complete fuckin’ wreck. Not to mention the fact that she has an alcoholic ex who beats her, and that those that have ‘it’ break in”
Rainbow cut in “What was that about her ex?”
Thomas looked at Dash “What do you mean?”
She hatefully eyed him “I mean what did he look like?”
Thomas clenched his head as Isabelle sent peaceful but mean messages through his mind “He was a Pegasus about an inch or two bigger that you, dark brown mane which was quite jagged and a darker colour than you”
She gasped “Did you kill him?” she flew on Thomas’ chest forcing him on his back
“What? NO!”
Dash hit him across the face then flew up to the bedroom, Applejack helped him to his feet “Is she always angry about drunks like that?”
Pinkie kicked the ground with her hoof “That was her father, he made her fillyhood a really bad time. He’s the only pony she’s ever wanted dead”
Thomas started to regret not finishing what he started {Master listen to me, you don’t have any right to take someone or something else’s life. Izzy SHUT IT! Oh hoo seems like Master doesn’t like you. VLAD YOU TOO!! } “life is hard enough with those two, how am I supposed to deal with this?”