The last thing Joseph could remember was the car crash. Now, he's lost in a small town with blurred memories of home, found by six colorful teenagers. Now, he is presented with a new chance to recreate his life, a life better than his reality.
This was getting incredibly long, so I decided to split the chapter into 2 parts. After all, I already felt chapter 2 was incredibly long (and my editor shortened it from what it originally was!)
A lot of people call me Octavia, though." A black haired pony wearing a grey suit explained to me.
Wait pony? Also don't take this the wrong way, but apart from the nicknames your story has nothing to do with MLP. Maybe you should find a way to include magic and flight, or something. Still, I like this
I'll fix the pony issue later today. I deeply apologize for that. They're not ponies. Te reason for this was that my editor never mentioned anything about it, nor did I seem to notice it. I'm hoping you guys continue to follow this story, I'd hate for a mistake like this to ruin this story. I understand how deeply a few typos can ruin a story now, and I'm wishing that readers whom read will be able to look past that and see the story for what it is. I will fix this by 12:30 today pst. I'm deeply disappointed in myself as a writer and an editor for not discovering this issue, and will induce severe punishments for my actions. I realize that due to this issue, this story will never be able to reach the caliber that it could have reached, a mistake that will not leave me for as long as I am a writer. I am not asking for forgiveness for my actions, nor am I asking for this horrible issue to be forgotten. I only ask for understanding that I made mistake, and will hopefully be able to look past the mistake while I am unable to fix it and see this story within my original intentions, as a fully humanized story. I have learned now that I must incorporate more of my own editing as well as expect more of my editor so this story is never again tarnished so unprofessionally like it is now. I am sorry. I am worthless and I have failed you all in your expectations to experience a deep and relatable story that takes subject matters that are seemingly forbidden territory (ie. human in Equestria, high school story, somewhat self insert) and shows that these subjects can be successful in bring done right, and instead have left you with a cold and unorganized mess with consufion left in basic plot points. I will do my best to ensure this no longer happens in the future. I am once again deeply sorry. I understand the incredible dislike, though, and I understand why this story will no longer be as effective as it once was. I do not ask for forgiveness, I only ask for understanding. Thank you.
I can think of ways to do that. For instance, the town's layout is the same, locations are still the same, etc. I want to make this a somewhat more realistic setting, however. I feel that if I incorporate magic or flight, then it'll make the story lose its credibility as a realistic experience.
Also, a note on the storykilling typo, the pony is the school mascot. The three instances when I wrote "pony" instead of "guy" or "girl" have been fixed. I ctrl + Fed the word "pony" and fixed every untintentional usage of pony. I'm still dissapointed in myself, honestly. My editor didn't notice it as she uses something that makes all words turn into pony speak. (ie = guy/girl/man/woman turns into pony), so she didn't assumed it was right. I've talked with her, and she promises to turn this feature off when she edits my work in the future.
I just can't wait for the moment he regains his memories.....his reaction would be priceless and sad. Priceless because he's a fan of mlp. And sad because of his family.
Lol, like, I've just never given it any thought. But I think I might actually have a decent idea involving that. Granted, it won't be the same, but you just sparked a little something for like chapter 97.
lol it's not going to be THAT long, I'm just being silly, lol.
My plans, if this story does well, is that I'll do multiple paths, like a visual novel. The main storyline will be Joseph x Applejack, but I might do alternate paths where I choose to pursue Rarity, I choose to develop more with Twilight, I choose to get together with Rose, etc etc.
But it's going to be a decently long story. Like, Romance Reports long, possibly. Mostly because I don't want to rush through this, and I truly want to take the time to develop my characters and give readers the ability to relate with each of the characters and see development.
It's not going to be like "Day 2, Day 3, Day 4". I'll still have to work out pacing after the first day (After the first day, there might be more emphasis on classroom scenes, so I'll just be like "I passed first period with a breeze, the test was easy, and I was now sitting in second period" etc etc. It's a lot of thinking on my part. It's easy to plan out storylines but not so easy to execute pacing, lol.
I've never really studied the personality of Time Turner, nor have I really been a fan of Dr. Who (I'm indifferent about it, because I've never seen it.), so I can't really add him into the story confidently without running the risk of getting "Well that's not his personality."
However, I have an entire document with background ponies that I'll use within stories, so maybe he'll go on there and be mentioned, maybe the subject of a little comic relief, but not used that much ;A;.
If I'm able to study him more, then I'll use him :3.
Just a story update, the character tags have been changed. Instead of Cherilee and Big Mac, there's now Octavia and the Flower Ponies (Mostly Roseluck, but there's no option for that.) This is just a desicision based on how much I want to involve them in the story. Braeburn is staying, though. Thank you, and 3B will be out within the next few days.
Chapter 3B will be published soon. My editor seems to be in unreliable contact at the moment, so I've had to delay the publishing of the chapter for a few days. If she doesn't reply by tomorrow, the chapter will be posted, after some re-editing from my end.
Yay, Chapter 3 is out. . . or at least 3A.
This was getting incredibly long, so I decided to split the chapter into 2 parts. After all, I already felt chapter 2 was incredibly long (and my editor shortened it from what it originally was!)
yay
"Pony", "Pony","Pony"
I swear I thought they were humans a couple chapters ago...
Wait pony?
Also don't take this the wrong way, but apart from the nicknames your story has nothing to do with MLP. Maybe you should find a way to include magic and flight, or something. Still, I like this
i say Pinkie.
No! don't magically turn into ponies! I like you as people!!
t.qkme.me/3qgpc5.jpg
I'll fix the pony issue later today. I deeply apologize for that. They're not ponies. Te reason for this was that my editor never mentioned anything about it, nor did I seem to notice it. I'm hoping you guys continue to follow this story, I'd hate for a mistake like this to ruin this story. I understand how deeply a few typos can ruin a story now, and I'm wishing that readers whom read will be able to look past that and see the story for what it is. I will fix this by 12:30 today pst. I'm deeply disappointed in myself as a writer and an editor for not discovering this issue, and will induce severe punishments for my actions. I realize that due to this issue, this story will never be able to reach the caliber that it could have reached, a mistake that will not leave me for as long as I am a writer. I am not asking for forgiveness for my actions, nor am I asking for this horrible issue to be forgotten. I only ask for understanding that I made mistake, and will hopefully be able to look past the mistake while I am unable to fix it and see this story within my original intentions, as a fully humanized story. I have learned now that I must incorporate more of my own editing as well as expect more of my editor so this story is never again tarnished so unprofessionally like it is now. I am sorry. I am worthless and I have failed you all in your expectations to experience a deep and relatable story that takes subject matters that are seemingly forbidden territory (ie. human in Equestria, high school story, somewhat self insert) and shows that these subjects can be successful in bring done right, and instead have left you with a cold and unorganized mess with consufion left in basic plot points. I will do my best to ensure this no longer happens in the future. I am once again deeply sorry. I understand the incredible dislike, though, and I understand why this story will no longer be as effective as it once was. I do not ask for forgiveness, I only ask for understanding. Thank you.
1931177
I can think of ways to do that. For instance, the town's layout is the same, locations are still the same, etc. I want to make this a somewhat more realistic setting, however. I feel that if I incorporate magic or flight, then it'll make the story lose its credibility as a realistic experience.
Also, a note on the storykilling typo, the pony is the school mascot. The three instances when I wrote "pony" instead of "guy" or "girl" have been fixed. I ctrl + Fed the word "pony" and fixed every untintentional usage of pony. I'm still dissapointed in myself, honestly. My editor didn't notice it as she uses something that makes all words turn into pony speak. (ie = guy/girl/man/woman turns into pony), so she didn't assumed it was right. I've talked with her, and she promises to turn this feature off when she edits my work in the future.
Come ooooooooon! I really like this! Keep it up, besides the pony typos.
I just can't wait for the moment he regains his memories.....his reaction would be priceless and sad.
Priceless because he's a fan of mlp.
And sad because of his family.
1933922
I can't reveal too much because spoilers, but let's just say that that won't be happening. Sorry :(.
I'd explain what happens when he officially regains his memory, but spoilers.
1934385
Awwww why you gotta be like that mate?
1934431
Lol, like, I've just never given it any thought. But I think I might actually have a decent idea involving that. Granted, it won't be the same, but you just sparked a little something for like chapter 97.
1934465
So it's gonna be one of the long stories eh? Good luck mate you're gonna need it.
lol it's not going to be THAT long, I'm just being silly, lol.
My plans, if this story does well, is that I'll do multiple paths, like a visual novel. The main storyline will be Joseph x Applejack, but I might do alternate paths where I choose to pursue Rarity, I choose to develop more with Twilight, I choose to get together with Rose, etc etc.
But it's going to be a decently long story. Like, Romance Reports long, possibly. Mostly because I don't want to rush through this, and I truly want to take the time to develop my characters and give readers the ability to relate with each of the characters and see development.
It's not going to be like "Day 2, Day 3, Day 4". I'll still have to work out pacing after the first day (After the first day, there might be more emphasis on classroom scenes, so I'll just be like "I passed first period with a breeze, the test was easy, and I was now sitting in second period" etc etc. It's a lot of thinking on my part. It's easy to plan out storylines but not so easy to execute pacing, lol.
nice work! it's looking very cool
Yes...
I approved wholeheartedly.
Yes...
I want more of this...
So...where's Mr. Smith?
AKA, Time Turner.
1940259
I've never really studied the personality of Time Turner, nor have I really been a fan of Dr. Who (I'm indifferent about it, because I've never seen it.), so I can't really add him into the story confidently without running the risk of getting "Well that's not his personality."
However, I have an entire document with background ponies that I'll use within stories, so maybe he'll go on there and be mentioned, maybe the subject of a little comic relief, but not used that much ;A;.
If I'm able to study him more, then I'll use him :3.
1940284
Eh, it's best to look up Doctors 9, 10, or 11. Mostly 10, considering he does a lot of running.
1940327
I believe the best place for me to start would be finding out what the different doctors are, lol
1940497
Yeah, but they mostly associate Time Turner with David Tennant (10th Doctor).
Just a story update, the character tags have been changed. Instead of Cherilee and Big Mac, there's now Octavia and the Flower Ponies (Mostly Roseluck, but there's no option for that.) This is just a desicision based on how much I want to involve them in the story. Braeburn is staying, though. Thank you, and 3B will be out within the next few days.
Just an update.
Chapter 3B will be published soon. My editor seems to be in unreliable contact at the moment, so I've had to delay the publishing of the chapter for a few days. If she doesn't reply by tomorrow, the chapter will be posted, after some re-editing from my end.
Sorry for the long wait.
um.... huh?