interresting .. more plz

quickmeme.com/meme/3p7pi9/

Good! For once, a humanized pony fic with ACTUAL real names instead of the character's true names. The true names as nicknames help keep this a pony fic.
This deserves more likes.
Moustache mode activate, *boop*

I want more.

Well, I enjoy the humanized aspect of this story. Though i have a few qualms:

1.This chapter seems rushed. They find him, scoop him up, drag him off, and introduce themselves.
2.There is no description of the place he woke up at. For all i know he could have been found on a roof(not that I would assume that).
3.They introduce themselves as if they have a little card saying: "state your name, occupation, and 3 characteristics that describe you".
4.No shock expressed to have not remember anything, unless his balls are larger that Duke Nukem's.
5.Twilight just starts telling him about the place hes in. Why she would assume he was not from around here*(the town she currently resides) is beyond me.
6.I don't remember Twilight being so outgoing that she would tell a COMPLETE stranger her life story.
7. "I MEAN. . . um. . . You guys don't even know me yet! I can't have a nickname just now!" He says as the six girls just laid out there job information, descriptions, names, and fed him.

Just wanted to tell you what turned me off about this story. It has great potential, just think how it would happen if it was in real life. drag it out a little. Good luck and keep writing!

well, after reading ch 1 & 2, i will follow because it seems interesting,

1899765

Yeah, I personally also think the first chapter is rushed. I had written about half of it, then I lost all of my work. My mood was a very rushy mood, so I kind of didn't take the time I should have taken.

But thanks for your commentary, I'll be sure to improve those ouo. A lot of the issues are just in the chapter, but I'll make sure to make things more detailed and stuff.

I'm glad this story is being taken so well :3. I'll have new chapters out soon. School starts up for me next monday, but I'll still try publishing this and Breaking Boundaries as much as I can.

I find the "littlest pet shop" thing annoying, I find it unnecessary. but other than that it is a good story so far

I find the "littlest pet shop" thing annoying, I find it unnecessary. but other than that it is a good story so far

1900810

The reason for that was so it would clear up the plothole of "How does Joseph not realize that he's in Ponyville if he says he's a brony?" It's not a major plotpoint, though, so it won't be appearing too much more :3.

*reads description*
...THERE'S AN UPCOMING VN!? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS!?

Plays baritone... Finally! Somebody who does not play the damn guitar.

April may...maiden name is July

1904047
Yay, I'm glad you like it :3. Low Brass instruments are pretty cool instruments.

1903950
http://www.zap-apple.com/

I'll keep my eyes on this one--school fics with AJ as the main ship are few and far between. I'd say you should go back and improve your introduction chapter, though. Slow it down a hair and describe the scene and characters a bit better.

"I knew that I didn't like my dad, my mom annoyed me sometimes, and my brother was a smartass"
my family in a nutshell

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=peedWIz8r2Q
Skip to 1:40
I feel it will take my guard down and shock me