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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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interresting .. more plz
quickmeme.com/meme/3p7pi9/
Good! For once, a humanized pony fic with ACTUAL real names instead of the character's true names. The true names as nicknames help keep this a pony fic.
This deserves more likes.
Moustache mode activate, *boop*
I want more.
Good so far.
no bad i like the detail and backdrop so far
Well, I enjoy the humanized aspect of this story. Though i have a few qualms:
1.This chapter seems rushed. They find him, scoop him up, drag him off, and introduce themselves.
2.There is no description of the place he woke up at. For all i know he could have been found on a roof(not that I would assume that).
3.They introduce themselves as if they have a little card saying: "state your name, occupation, and 3 characteristics that describe you".
4.No shock expressed to have not remember anything, unless his balls are larger that Duke Nukem's.
5.Twilight just starts telling him about the place hes in. Why she would assume he was not from around here*(the town she currently resides) is beyond me.
6.I don't remember Twilight being so outgoing that she would tell a COMPLETE stranger her life story.
7. "I MEAN. . . um. . . You guys don't even know me yet! I can't have a nickname just now!" He says as the six girls just laid out there job information, descriptions, names, and fed him.
Just wanted to tell you what turned me off about this story. It has great potential, just think how it would happen if it was in real life. drag it out a little. Good luck and keep writing!
well, after reading ch 1 & 2, i will follow because it seems interesting,
1899765
Yeah, I personally also think the first chapter is rushed. I had written about half of it, then I lost all of my work. My mood was a very rushy mood, so I kind of didn't take the time I should have taken.
But thanks for your commentary, I'll be sure to improve those ouo. A lot of the issues are just in the chapter, but I'll make sure to make things more detailed and stuff.
I'm glad this story is being taken so well :3. I'll have new chapters out soon. School starts up for me next monday, but I'll still try publishing this and Breaking Boundaries as much as I can.
I find the "littlest pet shop" thing annoying, I find it unnecessary. but other than that it is a good story so far
I find the "littlest pet shop" thing annoying, I find it unnecessary. but other than that it is a good story so far
1900810
The reason for that was so it would clear up the plothole of "How does Joseph not realize that he's in Ponyville if he says he's a brony?" It's not a major plotpoint, though, so it won't be appearing too much more :3.
Me gusta
Moar!
*reads description*
...THERE'S AN UPCOMING VN!? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS!?
Plays baritone... Finally! Somebody who does not play the damn guitar.
interesting...i require clop from dis!
April may...maiden name is July
1904047
Yay, I'm glad you like it :3. Low Brass instruments are pretty cool instruments.
1903950
http://www.zap-apple.com/
I'll keep my eyes on this one--school fics with AJ as the main ship are few and far between. I'd say you should go back and improve your introduction chapter, though. Slow it down a hair and describe the scene and characters a bit better.
Hey guys! Published a new chapter today! Trying to get more plot in. I took the suggestions to add more detail to the story, hence why the chapter is longer. After some changes with my editor (purplefire12 / CDFPurple), I published it. Don't worry, Applejack is gonna do a LOT more later. I just wasn't able to accomplish all that I wanted in this chapter AND incorporate Applejack. She'll be making a good appearance next chapter though.
good job! i look forward
to more chapters!!
Me likes.
Takes the basic real world, gives it Equestrian people and geographics, and throws a human from Earth into it!
Now, onto clearing out my unread new favorite chapters...
I'm glad you guys liked the new chapter :3. As I said, and I'll say over and over again, any constructive criticism is appreciated. I've already been using it in this next chapter!
Reference, this is Count Bubba: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Qbs3i3w1g . Cool stuff.
the list has 6 subjects....the magic number of equestria....this sounds like its going to be good and plotty.....both kinds of plotty
1918142 Well also because most schools have 6 periods for most people, lol
so far so good, I'm looking forward to seeing the other characters develop more
Watch out for allright. It only has one L. Otherwise, great!
Yay, Chapter 3 is out. . . or at least 3A.
This was getting incredibly long, so I decided to split the chapter into 2 parts. After all, I already felt chapter 2 was incredibly long (and my editor shortened it from what it originally was!)
yay
"Pony", "Pony","Pony"
I swear I thought they were humans a couple chapters ago...
Wait pony?
Also don't take this the wrong way, but apart from the nicknames your story has nothing to do with MLP. Maybe you should find a way to include magic and flight, or something. Still, I like this
i say Pinkie.
No! don't magically turn into ponies! I like you as people!!
t.qkme.me/3qgpc5.jpg
I'll fix the pony issue later today. I deeply apologize for that. They're not ponies. Te reason for this was that my editor never mentioned anything about it, nor did I seem to notice it. I'm hoping you guys continue to follow this story, I'd hate for a mistake like this to ruin this story. I understand how deeply a few typos can ruin a story now, and I'm wishing that readers whom read will be able to look past that and see the story for what it is. I will fix this by 12:30 today pst. I'm deeply disappointed in myself as a writer and an editor for not discovering this issue, and will induce severe punishments for my actions. I realize that due to this issue, this story will never be able to reach the caliber that it could have reached, a mistake that will not leave me for as long as I am a writer. I am not asking for forgiveness for my actions, nor am I asking for this horrible issue to be forgotten. I only ask for understanding that I made mistake, and will hopefully be able to look past the mistake while I am unable to fix it and see this story within my original intentions, as a fully humanized story. I have learned now that I must incorporate more of my own editing as well as expect more of my editor so this story is never again tarnished so unprofessionally like it is now. I am sorry. I am worthless and I have failed you all in your expectations to experience a deep and relatable story that takes subject matters that are seemingly forbidden territory (ie. human in Equestria, high school story, somewhat self insert) and shows that these subjects can be successful in bring done right, and instead have left you with a cold and unorganized mess with consufion left in basic plot points. I will do my best to ensure this no longer happens in the future. I am once again deeply sorry. I understand the incredible dislike, though, and I understand why this story will no longer be as effective as it once was. I do not ask for forgiveness, I only ask for understanding. Thank you.
1931177
I can think of ways to do that. For instance, the town's layout is the same, locations are still the same, etc. I want to make this a somewhat more realistic setting, however. I feel that if I incorporate magic or flight, then it'll make the story lose its credibility as a realistic experience.
Also, a note on the storykilling typo, the pony is the school mascot. The three instances when I wrote "pony" instead of "guy" or "girl" have been fixed. I ctrl + Fed the word "pony" and fixed every untintentional usage of pony. I'm still dissapointed in myself, honestly. My editor didn't notice it as she uses something that makes all words turn into pony speak. (ie = guy/girl/man/woman turns into pony), so she didn't assumed it was right. I've talked with her, and she promises to turn this feature off when she edits my work in the future.
Come ooooooooon! I really like this! Keep it up, besides the pony typos.
I just can't wait for the moment he regains his memories.....his reaction would be priceless and sad.
Priceless because he's a fan of mlp.
And sad because of his family.
1933922
I can't reveal too much because spoilers, but let's just say that that won't be happening. Sorry :(.
I'd explain what happens when he officially regains his memory, but spoilers.
1934385
Awwww why you gotta be like that mate?
1934431
Lol, like, I've just never given it any thought. But I think I might actually have a decent idea involving that. Granted, it won't be the same, but you just sparked a little something for like chapter 97.
1934465
So it's gonna be one of the long stories eh? Good luck mate you're gonna need it.
lol it's not going to be THAT long, I'm just being silly, lol.
My plans, if this story does well, is that I'll do multiple paths, like a visual novel. The main storyline will be Joseph x Applejack, but I might do alternate paths where I choose to pursue Rarity, I choose to develop more with Twilight, I choose to get together with Rose, etc etc.
But it's going to be a decently long story. Like, Romance Reports long, possibly. Mostly because I don't want to rush through this, and I truly want to take the time to develop my characters and give readers the ability to relate with each of the characters and see development.
It's not going to be like "Day 2, Day 3, Day 4". I'll still have to work out pacing after the first day (After the first day, there might be more emphasis on classroom scenes, so I'll just be like "I passed first period with a breeze, the test was easy, and I was now sitting in second period" etc etc. It's a lot of thinking on my part. It's easy to plan out storylines but not so easy to execute pacing, lol.
nice work! it's looking very cool
Yes...
I approved wholeheartedly.
Yes...
I want more of this...
"I knew that I didn't like my dad, my mom annoyed me sometimes, and my brother was a smartass"
my family in a nutshell
So...where's Mr. Smith?
AKA, Time Turner.
1940259
I've never really studied the personality of Time Turner, nor have I really been a fan of Dr. Who (I'm indifferent about it, because I've never seen it.), so I can't really add him into the story confidently without running the risk of getting "Well that's not his personality."
However, I have an entire document with background ponies that I'll use within stories, so maybe he'll go on there and be mentioned, maybe the subject of a little comic relief, but not used that much ;A;.
If I'm able to study him more, then I'll use him :3.
1940284
Eh, it's best to look up Doctors 9, 10, or 11. Mostly 10, considering he does a lot of running.