• Published 30th Dec 2012
  • 1,566 Views, 47 Comments

The Pinkiemian Rhapsody - Key Strix

"Is this the real life? Please tell me it’s just fantasy. I’m now tangled in strife with no friends left for me. With tears in my eyes I look up to the skies and plea: I’m Pinkie Pie and this isn’t my reality."

  • ...

Fighting is Random

The group of five ponies galloped their way into the familiar rocky terrain of the neighboring mountains of Ponyville. The path they took was steep and dangerous, but direct. There was no time to waste as they galloped at an easy pace that kept them moving fast, but also kept the rocks below them from giving way beneath them.

Spike and Sweetie Bell had been left behind so that they would be kept out of danger, and in order to tend to Thornstar’s needs. Though Pinkamena knew she could catch up to the dragon faster on her own, she made sure to keep pace with the other ponies, knowing there was no way she could face a dragon like that without her... friends? Her eyes darted between the four ponies in question before her. Not a word had passed between them during their trip to save Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie dropped further back, making sure to stay out of earshot as she turned to the spoon that appeared in her left hoof. “So what do we think, Smarty Spoon?”

“First,” the distorted reflection looked right back at her, “I think we need to worry foremost about getting Dash back. Maybe once we sort this ‘inner demon’ out, Twilight and the others will stop acting so... out of place. But it might take some time to get rid of the brainwashing that has clearly been done to them by this beast.”

“Are you sure about that?” Pinkie questioned

“Pretty sure. If you feel up to it, you can always say something.” Both looked ahead before looking back at one another.

“Right.” Pinkie nodded before placing the spoon away. She picked up her pace and galloping right up to Twilight’s side. Before she could open her mouth, Twilight was already throwing words in her direction without looking at her.

“The only reason you’re coming with us, Pinkie, is that we might need all the help we can get in rescuing Dash. We’ll finish discussing your poor attitude later.”

Pinkie sighed, seeing that the spoon was right. “But, what about what Dash said?”

“What about it? For all I know, you and Dash are together on this sick joke of yours.” Twilight briefly glared over her shoulder. “If it wasn’t for such wild antics, my brother wouldn’t have lost his nerves and this wouldn’t have happened! Though, I wouldn’t have expected you to know about this.” Twilight turned her eyes back to the path before her. “Or, about anything.”

Ouch, Pinkie thought, falling back slightly. Her eyes gazed around the path they took. “Well, I do know that this looks rather familiar. Isn’t this the same path we took a long time ago when we went to confront that mean dragon who was creating a bunch of smog that drifted over Ponyville?”

“None other,” nodded Applejack. She then reflexively reached back and snagged Fluttershy by the collar to keep the shaken mare from retreating.

Twilight added in, “I’m pretty sure he took refuge in the exact same cave too.”

The exact same cave? Of all the places that dragon thingy could have gone, why there?

“So what exactly is our plan here, Twilight?” Rarity said as she followed closely behind.

“It’s a magic-eating being, right? I’ll see if I can distract it if you all try to get Rainbow Dash. Whatever happens from there... uh... well, I dunno! We’ll just have to see what happens.”

Long before the cave came into sight, the group began to hear sounds of the monster and its prisoner. Standing before the massive cave, Twilight looked back past Pinkie at the other three, noticing their nervous expressions. “Don’t worry, girls! I don’t know if we can beat this thing, but what matters right now is getting Dash to safety. We’ll worry about the rest later.”

After running around fifty feet into the cave, the girls came upon sight of the dragon like creature. Its almost gel-like body was comprised of dark, magical blue and purple auras that gave off a soft glow which filled the cave with light. Around the beast, Rainbow Dash zipped through the air as she tried to evade the dragon’s swiping claws. She kept trying to make a break for the entrance, but the creature's movements and reactions were astoundingly quick; enough so to keep her from making it out, but not enough to catch her. Just as Dash noticed that her friends had entered, she turned about and opened her mouth to say something to them. But, that short moment of distraction was enough for the dragon to snatch her out of the air. Instead of saying whatever it was she intended, she ended up yelling in surprise before being flung into his toothless mouth, which dripped with a magical gel-like substance.

All of the five other ponies gasped in horror.

Through the beast’s clear form, they could see their friend slide down his long neck, to be trapped within his stomach. She was still conscious. Dash tried her best to shout, punch, buck, and flap her way out of her prison, but she was unable to escape.

“We have to get her out of there!” shouted Pinkie, who was ready to charge in.

Twilight looked over her shoulder. “Fluttershy, try talking to it!”

The mare was completely frozen in place, her expression horrified as her wide eyes stared at the pony trapped in the beast’s stomach. Twilight was completely tuned out by the piles of nightmares she’d have for the rest of her life.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight yelled even louder.

A gasp caught in Fluttershy’s throat as she looked back and forth between Twilight and Dash. She swallowed down as much of her shaken nerves as she could before stepping in response and slowly proceeded, passing the rest of the group. “E-excuse me, Mister Madronis, Sir, you... seem to have swallowed a really good friend of ours.” She lowered her head as she managed to show the beast a very weak smile. “We would appreciate if-”

The beast was having none of it. He spun about and brought his tail down from overhead, seeking to crush Fluttershy, who yelped loudly and darted out of the way just in time.

“Everypony scatter!” Twilight commanded. “Circle around him!”

Dash did her best within the dragon’s belly to watch as her friends scattered around the cave, managing to stay out of the wild beast’s flailing limbs. Pinkie was the first into action, trying to slam her head straight into Madronis’ shin. Nothing.

Applejack summed up every ounce of strength she could to buck it right in the lower half of its belly. Nothing.

“Twilight,” said Rarity as she managed to dodge back from a sweep of the giant’s tail, “Can you teleport in and grab Rainbow Dash?”

“Good idea!” She then vanished. Within a flash of light, she was on the other side of the beast, empty hoofed. “I can’t!” She looked worriedly between Rarity and the dragon. “There must be some sort of interference from its form that’s preventing me from entering!”

Fluttershy looked between the two unicorns, then up at Dash who was pounding upon the inside of the belly with all her might as she was obviously trying to yell louder and louder. A soft red glow appeared around her teal body, making Dash look more worried than ever.

“That. Is. IT!” Fluttershy stamped her hoof as she called out loud enough for her voice to echo beyond the cave, drawing all attention directly to her. With her eyes wide and menacing, she flew up to the dragon’s eye level to lock her intense gaze with it. “You will stop this, this instant!” she boldly demanded with a harsh tone. “You will release my friend and-” the dragon’s mouth open and unleashed a vicious roar which was followed by a pulse of energy that shot Fluttershy straight into a wall. The shockwave from the attack loosened fragments from the cave.

“Fluttershy!” called a worried Applejack as she rushed over to the unconscious mare’s side, gripped her neck fur by the teeth, and flung her out of range of the falling rocks. Applejack was nearly able to get into the clear herself, but not before a boulder could collapse onto her tail. Yelping as she almost pulled her tail off, Applejack stumbled back into the boulder.

The monster was almost right on top of her; that is, until Rarity bravely rammed the beast with her horn. She may not have succeeded in causing damage, but she managed to turn Madronis’ attention away from the two downed ponies. His attacks were enough to keep her from worrying about the gunk that tangled her hair.

Fluttershy soon regained consciousness and turned her attention to Applejack, who was trying to buck and push the boulder behind her with no progress.

“Mah dang tail is stuck!” She cursed and continued her efforts that were in vain even as Fluttershy tried to help push it off.

Pinkie even sunk her teeth into the dragon’s tail, which tasted oddly like cherries. But again, nothing phased him. She was flung off and rolled over to Twilight Sparkle’s side, only able to helplessly watch as Dash was slowly engulfed by the red aura around her. “Th-this is useless. Nothing is working! What are we going to do, Twilight?!” But she was quick to be scolded.

“Pinkie, be quiet! I’m trying to think!” Twilight was almost slamming her right hoof into the side of her head, as she watched the dragon flail violently. “Think, think, think!” She told herself. “Ah-ha!” If she had fingers, Pinkie knew Twilight would have snapped them. “I’ve got it!”

Before Pinkie could raise any sort of question, she found her attention turned towards the cave entrance as a familiar voice boomed.

“Hope I didn’t miss much of the party!”

With sparkling eyes, Twilight, derailed from her train of thought, turned her gaze the same direction and shouted, “Thornstar!”

Nearly everyone else did just the same, save for Pinkie and Madronis. Though Pinkie knew the dragon was the main source of her troubles, she still couldn’t help but give the stallion a look of disgust as she remained silent.

The monster launched its attack at the newcomer, which was a headfirst dive to try and swallow Thornstar whole.

With amazing speed, Thornstar darted out of the way, letting the brainless beast plow its jaws painfully into the solid rock below. A small amount of time was bought as the monster stumbled about, shaking its head.

“Thornstar, what are you doing here?!” Twilight asked as her brother stopped before her and Pinkie.

“While you guys were gone, I got to thinking.” He looked to his sister alone. “I thought about my time spent here and how almost all of you made me feel at home and treated me like a true friend.”

Pinkie spoke from the sidelines. “You hardly spent, like, a single day here!” But he didn’t bat an eye her way as he continued to mainly speak with Twilight.

“I thought that dragon took all my abilities from me, but once I realised that my friends were in danger, I knew I had the power in me all along!”

Pinkie suddenly felt the need to go bite the dragon again, to help wash out the bad taste that filled her mouth.

The dragon had turned to face the small crowd just as Thornstar turned to face it. The beast let out a mighty roar that shook the ground beneath them as it unleashed a powerful pulse of energy that was quickly nullified by a shield spell created by Thornstar.

Pinkie, Twilight, and whatever plan Twilight once had, were forced to stand off to the side and watched as Thornstar engaged the beast by himself.

Within a flash of pure white magic, the stallion summoned an overly decorative silver sword. The glimmering blade had a multitude of patterns etched into its surface and its black hilt was covered in gems of many colors. Thornstar gripped the lavish weapon in his teeth as he kept his eyes upon the creature.

Twilight cheered as she watched the dragon’s attack before her brother would dive right into battle with the beast. With all other ponies distracted by the sight of the clashing claws and the swinging sword, Pinkie quietly backed away from her friends as she watched the action.

“He’s saving us,” she muttered as she pulled out her spoon so her reflection could also watch the show, “he’s taking on that mean ol’ dragon on his own.”

“I know.”

Pinkie forced her smile. “He’s throwing his life on the line for us now.”

“I know.”

“But... I-”

The monster let out yet another deafening roar as Thornstar gave its arm a good slice, spilling magical goop upon the cave floor. In retaliation, it managed to strike the stallion once, sending him sprawling to Applejack’s side. Everyone gasped, but he quickly recovered. Before the dragon could make its way over, Thornstar bucked the boulder that trapped Applejack’s tail with a single leg. He made it look effortless as the boulder rolled nearly twenty feet away. The two were able to escape before the dragon could grab either one of them with its goo-like mouth. As the two rolled off to safety, the others continued to gleefully shout.

Having seen Applejack nearly get the chomp, Pinkie Pie kept looking more and more worried.

“But what?” asked the reflection as it watched the dragon keep its attention and constant barrage of flashy attacks directed at Thornstar.

“I-I’m not excited about this! Any of this, Smarty Spoon!” Pinkie shook her head wildly. “He’s doing well, but I have this feeling... this really, really bad feeling!” Like a grim reminder, the same lines of twitches return.

A tail shake.

A left forehoof stomp.

A neck spasm.

Two right eye flinches.

With panic in her expression, she looked to the spoon. “This isn’t going to end well! Someone is going to get seriously hurt!”

Almost right on queue the dragon managed to grab Thornstar and throw him out of the cave with a mighty swing.

“Oh no!” Fluttershy was the first to alert. “The cliff!”

Everyone gasped once again as they all made a dash for the exit. But none were fast enough to catch him as Thornstar zipped out of the cave and far over the edge. He vanished from sight.

“Thornstar!” yelled Twilight as she made it outside. Her lonely voice echoed. Not a single response filled the following silence.

What Twilight failed to notice was Madronis, who was hot on her tail. She twisted about and gave a panicked shout before a blur swept in and knocked the dragon back.

Once again the six ponies found themselves in shock, as the dragon was suddenly sent sprawling back by another grand entrance.

Thornstar floated before them with wings made of fire. But not just any kind of fire, no... black fire, obviously crafted from magic.

Before Pinkie or anyone else could say anything about anything, Thornstar was back in action. Using his new fire wings, he rocketed right into the dragon once again. This time, with his sword still in his mouth, he made a devastating cut into the beast’s belly. It tumbled back into the cave with its magical ooze spilling all over. Soon enough, Rainbow Dash fell from the wound moments before the beast toppled back, spralling about the floor in pain. Dash was quick to pull herself up to all fours as she coughed more of the glowing goop. When she looked up, she saw that nearly everyone circled around her.

“Goodness, Dash!” said Rarity. “Are you okay? I hope this stuff doesn’t stain.”

“I... I’m fine,” Dash panted before turning about to look upon the beast before them. It was still alive and thrashing about. “But I don’t think he is!” She grinned before shaking her whole body, flinging off what goop she could. This caused Rarity to almost faint once again as she realized some of it was on her coat.

“He will be soon!” Thornstar interjected. “If we don’t act fast, he’ll pull himself together. We need to hit him while we can!”

Applejack nodded. “Yer right as rain, but what the heck do we hit it with if that isn’t gonna take care of it?”

“These.” Thornstar said with a smile before a flash of light soon had the Elements of Harmony floating before each of them.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile as victory was clearly within their grasp. “Great work!” She said without question as she worked her own magic to fixate each element to each pony.

Looks like everything will be okay after all. Pinkamena smiled to herself as she watched the golden necklace gently wrap around her neck.

The six banded together and faced the beast, all with smiles as Twilight stood before them. “Alright Madronis, it’s time for this to end!”

In the same fashion as usual, a brilliant aura consumed the six and filled the cave with a wonderful bright light. From that very light source shot out a multicolored beam of pure magical energy. It struck the beast just as it managed to stand upon all fours. That magical energy swarmed around the monster’s form, attempting to consume and subdue it. But, the attack failed. Not only was the monster not being fully consumed by the continuous magical blast, it was pushing forward, as if trying to lead another attack against the seven ponies.

“How is this not working?!” Shouted Applejack as Twilight was too busy trying to focus on the attack.

Rainbow Dash responded, shaking her head. “I dunno! This had always worked!”

Eyes darting around, several of the ponies took notice that one aura between them all glowed the least brightest. Pinkie’s. She had her eyes closed and was focusing as much as she could, but her power output was lower than ever before.

“It’s not enough!” Thornstar shouted from behind them, while shielding his eyes from their light. “But I think I have just the answer!”

“You might want to answer pretty quick, darling.” said Rarity, holding back every urge to start panicing. “I think we might be in a tiny bit of a bind right now!”

In an instant, a gold necklace appeared before him. One with a white gem upon it in the shape of a sword. “The Element of Spirit!” He announced as he wrapped it around his neck.

Pinkie blinked and looked back to him from over her shoulder. “Wait, what?”

Thornstar was already floating in the air with them, sending a surge of white magical power their way. It merged into the glorious aura and provided more than enough juice to make the dragon topple over from the newly energized blast. It wailed, screamed, and thrashed violently as it tried to shake away the light that consumed it. There was no escape. Once it was fully consumed, a powerful rush of wind escaped the cave before the light faded. Madronis was no more. In its place was a dragon egg.

A victorious cheer rang from six of the ponies as the battle was finally over. Even Pinkie smiled, seeing that the danger had passed.

“Yee haw!” Applejack flailed her forelegs.

“Simply exquisite!” smiled Rarity.

“If it wasn’t for your help, brother, I don’t know what we would have done.” Twilight sighed happily.

Rainbow Dash nearly announced to the world, “That. Was. Awesome!”

“We should see about getting this taken care of.” Thornstar said as he passed by the group to take up the egg in his magical grip before working his way back. “I should report this to Princess Celestia too. Maybe then, we can all celebrate.” The others cheered once again in agreement and proceeded to follow him out of the cave.

Pinkie took a moment to sit back with a smile on her lips as she pondered. It’s finally over. The big bad beast is gone and... Her eyes trailed to Dash, the last in line of the group. Pinkie was unable to hold back the urge to tackle the pony from behind.

Even as Dash was presented with a surprise Pinkie hug, the group continued onward.

“Oooooh!” Pinkie nuzzled the mare tightly, and most importantly, happily. “I missed you so much when you were gone and you had me so worried when you were trapped! I thought I would never see you again and-”

“Pinkie!” Dash shouted before shoving her right off.

Pinkie went rather wide eyed as she found herself planted firmly upon her flank as Dash... scolded her.

“I’m trying to hang out with Thornstar right now! So stop being so annoying!” That said, Dash spun about and galloped out to try and catch up with the group.

“R... Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie whimpered as she watched her last friend take off.

The spoon appeared at her side in her left hoof.

Pinkie spoke softly as she didn’t move from her spot. “Dash hasn’t spoken to me like that since we first met, back when I first tried to make friends with her.” She looked on ahead. “Back... when we weren’t friends.”

“Well, seems you were right about one thing for sure. Someone did get hurt here.” The reflection looked back to Pinkie.

“I thought with this evil dragon gone, things would... you know? But now...”

“Now we need to go find out if this is going to end well, or otherwise.”

Pinkie gave a small nod to the spoon before slowly picking herself up to follow after the group.

It seemed like it took forever for Pinkamena and the others to arrive at Celestia’s throneroom. Apparently, after sending a message to the Princess, Thornstar had been summoned to Canterlot. The rest followed without question. Pinkie sat off to the side against a wall, watching as the other six happily conversed with one another while cluttered upon the royal red carpet before the stairs. None of them seemed to mind Pinkie’s absence in the slightest. To find some semblance of comfort, Pinkie pulled out her inanimate friend.

“Well, Smarty Spoon,” she sighed, “We’re here.”

“About time,” The image spoke with a huff. “Felt like the longest ride ever, just listening to them all yammer on and on about that guy. I really wish you had made cupcakes.”


“To have something to shove in your ears. Might as well be something sweet n’ tasty.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. But, any thoughts yet of how to stop my oncoming friendlessness?”

“Nope. I’m tapped out. Not a single clue. We tried getting evidence, calling him out, talking to the others, and even talking to the Princess herself. Looks like taking out that dragon thingy didn’t give a lick of help, save for getting Dash uneaten. I think we’re pretty much out of options now.”

“Maybe I should start thinking about moving back in with my family.”

The doors above and beyond the staircase parted. From them came Princess Celestia who made her way to the top of the stairs to look down upon the gathering of ponies. All of them immediately stopped chattering and turn their eyes to Her Majesty.

“On this joyous day, I welcome you all, my little ponies.” Celestia held a majestic smile as her eyes flickered from one pony to the next, having watched as they bowed their heads. “I especially welcome you, Thornstar Ravenblack. Please, stand before me.” Celestia stepped back a couple feet from the edge of the steps, giving Thornstar the space he needed.

“Yes, your Highness.”

“You have been my warrior for many years and have served me well on countless missions. You even went as far as to tame Madronis by having him imprisoned within yourself. Remind me, where did you come up with such an idea?”

There was a pause as Thornstar thought over his words and kept his eyes to the Princess’s hooves. “Ninjas.”


“Yes,” he nodded ever so slightly. “A clan of ninjas used to do similar such things. I’ve learned to do such from their teachings.”

An annoyed groan from Pinkie could be heard from the distance, but it went ignored.

“They stored beings of great power within themselves?” The Princess blinked several times. “Odd. I am... unfamiliar with that piece of history. You’ll have to indulge me with such information at a different time. For now, despite the lack of proper preparation,” Celestia looked around the near-empty room before locking eyes to the stallion before her. “I feel obligated to press onward with this ceremony. Perhaps, we can hold a more formal one later. Though, it is of utmost importance that you be rewarded for your feet of finally and fully taming Madronis, with the help of my faithful subjects of course.”

The five behind Thornstar briefly beamed smiles at one another while politely keeping an ear open for the Princess.

“With all in the room as witnesses,” she glimpsed as each other face one more time before looking back as she announced “I hereby offer you the opportunity to be my next student! Do you accept?”

Thornstar kneeled before her. “I do.”

Pinkie looked to her inanimate companion. “Why does none of this surprise me anymore, Smarty Spoon?” A simple shrug was its only response.

The Princess continued. “Then as of this moment forward, you, Thornstar Ravenblack, and your sister, Twilight Sparkle, shall uphold the title of being my royal students!”

With that said, Thornstar happily looked back as the other five cheered from behind. No trumpets and confetti. Just a joyful cheer from the five as Pinkie watched from afar.

“Wait!” A single voice called out from the small crowd. It was Fluttershy. She stepped out before the crowd. “I have an announcement to make too.” She looked up the stairs to Celestia. “May I?”

The Princess nodded, granting her passage. Fluttershy soon found her red cheeked face turned towards Thornstar and the crowd. She then spoke without pause, eagerly wanting to get her message out. “I want to offer Thornstar my hoof in marriage.”

Pinkie went wide-eyed. “Okay, I’m surprised again.”

Smarty Spoon kept peering ahead. “This is well beyond Flutter-logic.”

Both listened to the cheering as Thornstar happily accepted the proposal. “Brainwashing. This has to be brainwashing.” She glared. “Fluttershy would never even ask a pony out on a date, let alone offer her hoof to somepony she just met. This is going too far.”

“Oh, so now you say that. I thought this whole situation went completely into the loony bin the moment Thornstar said he was the Element of Spirit. Seriously, that sounds completely made up.”

“Shhh! They’re talking again.” Pinkie and her companion went quiet for a listen.

“Darn,” Rarity cursed. “Looks like you beat me to it, Fluttershy.” she joked. At least that’s what Pinkie hoped. “Well, you know who to come to for your wedding dress.”

“Well shucks.” Applejack fanned herself with her hat. “Looks like we got some big events on our hands, don’t we, Twi?”

“My. Brother. Is. Getting. Married!” Twilight cheered. Then, suddenly, she gasped. “Maybe as my new partner, he can be my study buddy too!” She looked even more excited for that.

“Pfft!” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. “Screw studying! I think we need to hit this celebration off with a Sonic Rainboom!”

Celestia nodded. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Then it’s settled!” Dash grinned. “Come on everypony, let’s hit the balcony. You can all get a great view from there, I’m sure!”

“Hold on a second.” Thornstar’s words drew Dash to a halt. “Let me handle this.”

“Handle what now?” Dash raised a brow. “The door? I think we can all handle those.”

Thornstar shook his head. “No. The Sonic Rainboom. Lemme show you the one I can do.”

“Really?!” Dash was taken by surprise as her and the others started to follow him towards the door. “You can do one too?”

The stallion nodded as he moved along.

Dash couldn’t help but gasp. “Oh my gosh! That sounds amazingly cool!”

Smarty Spoon couldn’t help but groan. “Oh my gosh. That sounds amazingly stupid. Why can this guy do everything?!”

After watching her friends and the princess make their way out to the balcony, Pinkie looked to her hoof held friend. “You think he can really do it?”

The reflection just silently stared back her with a dull expression.

Pinkie sighed. “Of course.” She glanced off to the side while mumbling. “He can do everything.” There was but a small pause before Pinkie’s eyes snapped back. “That’s it!” She nearly cheered out loud.

“Wait, what’s it?”

“He can do everything!”

The image wrinkled its brow. “Yyyyeah? I mean, that’s what we’re complaining about, right? You know, because it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Exactly!” Pinkie held a wide grin as she nodded.

“Huh?” Smarty Spoon looked over that big smile. “It sounds like you have an idea.” Pinkie nodded in response. “Wait... I’m the smart side of you! How’s are you getting ideas without me even knowing?!”

“I dunno! But we gotta do this before it’s too late!”

“Do wha-” the spoon was shoved away as Pinkie made her way over and out the balcony door.

Once outside, she spotted everyone gathered around Thornstar to admire the magical black fire wings he summoned. Instantly, Pinkie snatched Twilight by the backfur of her neck and dragged her back in the door, closing it behind the both of them.

“Pinkie, what are you doing?!” shouted the startled pony who tried to push her way past the mare who blocked the door with her whole upper body pressed against it. “Lemme out there!”

“Uh-uh.” Pinkie shook her head. “There’s no way I’ll let you out until we talk!”

“There’s nothing for us to talk about.” Twilight protested as she moved off to the side, stood upon her hind legs, and peered out a window to spy upon her brother as the others continued to admire his wings.

“Yes. Yes there is.” Pinkie kept herself from glaring at Twilight who didn’t even bat an eye back at her. “Twilight?”

No response.

“Oh come oooon. Don’t ignore me!”

Still nothing.

Pinkie found herself with a dull stare, wondering if Twilight was even listening. “Someone spilled ink on your tail.”

Twilight didn’t even flinch.

“Spike set the library on fire while you were gone.”

Not a single reaction.

Getting Twilight’s clearly overly absorbed attention was proving to be quite a challenge. A challenge that Pinkie knew she couldn’t fail once she was struck by another idea. “So,” she spoke with a rather innocent tone, “I was talking to Roseluck the other day. She said you were wrong.”

Twilight looked to Pinkie from the corner of her eye. “What?”

Pinkie nodded, brushing her bangs out from her eyes. “Yup. She said that your theory is all wrong. Grass is actually green simply because some big, powerful, magical pony from long ago made it that way.”

Theory?!” Twilight hopped down from her ledge to look right back at Pinkie. “What proof does she have that turns my facts into theoretical nonsense?!” Twilight couldn’t help but pace about as she fumed. “There is nothing simple about the truth! Then again, there’s actually nothing simple about magic either, but not every single thing is done with magic! Okay, maybe some big pony could have made the grass long ago. Maybe! But that doesn’t take away from what I’ve witnessed firsthoof! It’s really not that hard to understand either! Plants, through the process of photosynthesis, absorb nearly all color types of light. By a chemical called chlorophyll, most of that light is converted into usable energy which helps the grass grow and maintain its health. The only wave color of light that grass doesn’t convert is green. That green light escapes, thus, it is what our eyes perceive when we look at grass and most other plants.”

Twilight stopped and peered over at Pinkie. “Didn’t we cover all this in great detail a long while ago?”

“Uh-huh. Didn’t you also once say to always question and search for answers?”

“Well, yeah-”

“Well, that’s what I’m doing now.” Pinkie looked to the window Twilight once peered out of. “Your brother can pretty much do anything, right?”

“I wouldn’t say anything but he can do a lot of amazing things. He is my brother after all.”

Pinkie restrained the urge to roll her eyes while Twilight looked right at her. “Well what if he wasn’t? What if, hippothetically-”


“Hypothetically, what if he was just some random pony? A stranger who had no relation to you at all? How is it possible for him to have mastered so much?”

“Hmph. That’s all you want to ask? That’s easy.” Twilight traversed her way back over to the window, watching as Thornstar finally took off into the sky. She started and she talked rather fast. “I think he gained a lot of his skill from his young days of practicing with magic before practicing with a sword. Maybe because he started around the same age I did, he was able to learn how to focus on casting different magics at once. Then again, I devoted my life to studying and magic, so... he’s probably just more skilled at it than me. Or, it might have to do with my brother bein-”


“It might have to do with my stranger being slightly older, only by a couple of years. So he can multicast magic. Oh, and he can sword fight. I’m sure he started practicing with that as soon as he became one of Princess Celestia’s knights. That makes sense. I think. Plus, I’m pretty sure that constant sword fighting made him very strong.”

“Stronger than Applejack?”

“Stronger than Applejack. Though, she does spend her entire work life dedicated to tree bucking, which requires strength that sword fighting, by my understanding, doesn’t quite call for. Unless he was sword fighting boulders at one point! No... that’s silly. Maybe he’s using magic enhancers? No. The amount required to brush off a boulder like he did would take an illegal amount of enhancers. I’m sure he wouldn’t do such a thing.”

“Maybe he picked up a technique from Big Mac.” Pinkie Pie added as she watched Twilight start to pace.

“From Big Mac? A stallion that lived all the way out in Ponyville while we were orphans in Canterlot? I really don’t think he could have afforded such trips, nor did we attend schools that did any pen pal things, now that I think about it. Maybe they made friends while he was doing work for the Princess. But why? Big Mac had hardly ever been away from the farm and I doubt it ever needed militant attention!”

“Does the military train you to be better with animals than someone like Fluttershy?”

“He’s more liked by critters than Fluttershy? Really? Well, I... I dunno! I don’t think so. Maybe they used soldiers to befriend critters to spy on enemies! Yeah!” She nodded. “He’s great at magic casting, sword fighting, boulder bucking, making distant friends, and connecting with animals.”

“Even animals like timberwolves, right?” Pinkie had pulled herself from the door, comforted by the fact that Twilight was far too busy rambling to try and make a break.

“R-right! Even... blood thirsty, barbaric, and simple minded creatures like timberwolves, who, mostly seem to lack an understandable communication process. He can talk to them because he also spent another part of his entire life dwelling over such a dangerous thing.”

“Maybe he learned that from ninjas too.” Pinkie peeked outside through the window, catching sight of Thornstar flying side by side with Dash.

“Exactly! Ninjas. Ninjas that know stuff that Princess Celestia, one of the world’s oldest and wisest beings, that tends to know most of anything that happens in all of Equestria, has no idea about. Much like the seventh Element of Harmony, Spirit. An Element I had no idea existed!”

“Also, it looks like he can fly faster than Dash.” She remarked, calling Twilight’s attention to the sight just outside the window as the two were headed for the atmosphere.

“Faster than Dash?” She spoke with a clear amount of disbelief. “Maybe... he’s using some sort of magical propulsion beyond just his wings that are made of fire. Wings, made... of... fire.” She let the words roll around her mouth for a moment. “Dash was a natural born flyer! On top of that, she’s a pegasus. Pegasi are actually very light boned, unlike unicorns and earth ponies. Plus, Dash is the fastest pegasus I know. She spends nearly every day of her life training to keep up and improve her speed. Her life pleasure. Much like AJ and I have trained ours. We trained all our lives to master our talents, but yet, he trained his single life to master our many talents and he’s not even an alicorn! With a life that is barely any longer than ours, Thornstar managed to master magic casting, obtain amazing strength, perfect sword fighting, talking to wild creatures, ninja magic, became the Element of Spirit, and even flying. Now,” her eyes were glued to the window, “he is showing us that he... he mastered....”

Thornstar could hardly be seen from the great distance. He was nothing but a black spot in the sky. He suddenly came charging down. What soon followed shook the windows of the castle. It was Thornstar’s red, white, and black version of a Sonic Rainboom.

“That.” Twilight’s voice lowered to a mere whisper. “He mastered... that. He, the unicorn, mastered Dash’s unique, signature move. With... black fire wings.” Twilight then mumbled something else, which Pinkie couldn’t quite hear.

“Hm?” Pinkie leaned in as she looked over Twilight’s worried expression.

“Does... not... compute.”

“Uh, what?”

“Does not compute,” Twilight suddenly shouted as she slammed her hooves upon the window frame. “Does not compute!” she shouted, louder and louder as she furiously shook her head. “Does not compute! Does not compute! Does not, does not, does NOT compute! NOT COMPUTE! IT... DOES NOT!” She then shouted at the top of her lungs. “IT. DOES. NOT. COM. PUUUUTE!” Her eyes rolled back just as she fell back from her hind legs and collapsed on the floor.

“Twilight?” Pinkie looked upon the passed out pony in shock. “Twilight?!”

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