• Published 30th Dec 2012
  • 1,566 Views, 47 Comments

The Pinkiemian Rhapsody - Key Strix

"Is this the real life? Please tell me it’s just fantasy. I’m now tangled in strife with no friends left for me. With tears in my eyes I look up to the skies and plea: I’m Pinkie Pie and this isn’t my reality."

  • ...

Pinkie Spy

“Why am I doing this again?” Pinkamena whispered as she peeked over a bush. She spotted Fluttershy far off in the distance, lying in the flowerbed in front of her house.

Basking in the rays of the early morning sunlight, Fluttershy watched as Thornstar made his way up the main road and over the bridge.

“Because you’re not going to be defeated so easily!” the spoon said as it peeked over the bush alongside Pinkie. “You know what you saw in that picture, you know who you saw when you were at the wedding, and you know something fishy is going on with that new guy.”

Looking between her partner and the two she spied on, Pinkie pushed the long strands of her straightened mane from her eyes. “Honestly, I just don’t really know any more.” She sighed. “Maybe, I’ve been imagining all this crazy stuff. Maybe, we’re wrong and Thornstar isn’t casting any hexes. Maybe, I’m not as good of a friend as I thought I was.”

“You know that isn’t true! Now quit your sobbing and keep watching. Any moment now, he’ll start acting all fishy like. Just you wait and see.”

“But spying just feels... wrong. Why don’t I just go say hi to them?”

“Because shut up,” retorted the reflection. “I shouldn’t have to explain everything here. Look, they’re talking. Sneak a little closer so we can hear ‘em better.”

Pinkie huffed at the command. However, she followed through with lightning fast, but surprisingly quiet steps and soon found herself within earshot of the two as she peeked over another bush.

Thornstar had sat down next to the bed of flowers. “So, Twilight told me that you’re the main caretaker of animals around these parts.”

“Oh, yes.” Fluttershy returned a timid smile. “Luckily there aren’t any sickly ones to tend to today, though I will need to make my feeding rounds soon. But...” Her blue eyes shimmered in the morning sunlight as she looked away and stared down the empty road before her house. “Where’s Twilight? I thought she’d be coming with you.”

Thornstar traced her gaze down the road and back. “Her and Spike crashed pretty hard last night, so I thought I’d let them sleep in a little. I just didn’t want to keep you waiting. Maybe I could help you make your feeding rounds while I’m here.”

“I-I don’t know.” Fluttershy’s head tilted downward. “The chickens maybe, but the squirrels are very skittish and-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure to be very careful.”

She once again looked off to the side and her eyes nervously shifted as she thought over his softly spoken words before looking back. “If you promise, I guess it’ll be okay.” Fluttershy forced a smile to help bypass her shaken nerves. “This way please,” she said as she pushed herself up to all fours. She then led Thornstar past the front door of her house.

“Satisfied now?” Pinkie turned to her inanimate companion. “The only thing he seems to be guilty of is helping out Fluttershy. How could he be so bad?”

“Okay. He may not be pure evil, but he’s still manipulative. I can smell it.”

“How? You don’t have a nose.”

The image scoffed and was quick to snapped back. “Oh yeah? Well, you don’t have a friend name Twilight!”

“O-ow!” Pinkie went wide eyed as she shifted her head back a couple inches, taken aback by the sudden verbal attack. “That was uncalled for.”

“Alright, alright.” The reflection waved a hoof dismissively. “Sorry, you’re right; but until we figure out what’s going on here, I’m all you have right now. You know none of these ponies are going to believe your suspicions.”

“Suspicions that are mostly yours.”

“Whatever!” The image looked as serious as possible. “Look, we’re wasting time just standing here. Now, go hide out back before they get there.”

“Again? Why do I need to hide?”

“Ugh!” The image frowned. “If you really must know so badly, it’s because if he sees you, he might start manipulating you too. Now get going!”

Pinkie nodded and pulled the bush from the ground by the roots and took it with her as mobile cover. Once she found a good spot around the back near a few trees and other bushes, she planted her mobile cover, then sat and waited.

“I bet,” the spoon once again peaked out of the bush alongside her, “that once he comes out and all the animals start gathering, they’ll sense just how much of a meanie he really is. Then you can jump out to expose him and he’ll have no choice but to fess up to his scheming. Once he’s kicked out of Ponyville, all the others will have no choice but believe you and Twilight will want to be friends again!”

Pinkie kept her eyes forward and watched as the back door opened. “I... don’t think that’s quite how things would really—”

“Shhh! Here they come.”

“Now, just like I showed you,” Fluttershy continued from a lecture as she led Thornstar out the backdoor with both of them holding bags of feed, “use slow and steady movements, and don’t raise your voice.” As they walked out towards the center of her backyard, Fluttershy pulled out a small bell from her bag and rang it.

Within moments, woodland creatures came in from all directions. There were chickens, squirrels, bunnies, birds, hedgehogs, moles, hamsters, flamingoes, and many other kinds of critters. Most of them had poured out from the treeline around her backyard and paid little attention to Pinkie as they passed. The two feeders took chunks of grub, spread it around the yard, and watched in adoration as the animals happily swarmed about for the feast.

As Pinkie spied, she whispered to her partner, “Well there’s your answer. Not evil. Not manipulative. The animals are acting just fine.”

“Hold on a sec and take a closer look.”

“At what? I don’t see anything.”

“Look at how the animals are gathered mostly around Thornstar. Doesn’t that seem strange to you?”

Most of the critters had indeed migrated towards the stallion’s feed, leaving Fluttershy with nearly no one to attend to. The Caretaker looked bewildered and even faintly jealous as she witnessed her animal friends clambering over one another for the attention of a complete stranger.

Pinkie rubbed her chin at the sight as she kept her voice low. “You’re right, that is strange. Very, very strange.”

“A-alright now.” Fluttershy masked her look of jealousy with a smile as she stepped over to Thornstar’s side and placed a hoof over the opening of his bag. “You’re starting to overfeed. Not a good thing to do, especially for breakfast.” Without fuss, Thornstar let her take the bag as she proceeded with an explanation while she closed up both their bags. “Feed too much and their morning energy will be spent more on digestion than proper exercise...”

“Well there you have it,” Pinkie said, brushing off the spoon’s suspicions with Fluttershy’s reasoning. “He’s just feeding them too much.”

“You’re really gonna buy that? I mean come on, did you see her face? He could be—”

“No.” Pinkie scowled at the spoon while doing her best to keep her voice low, but her tone harsh. “I’m tired of hiding and spying on my friend. It’s not right and it’s... it’s… uh...” Pinkie’s words of defiance drowned out moments before she felt a series of twitches suddenly hit her, almost causing her to leap from cover. Once it was over, she immediately peeked out of the bush and turned her eyes to the sky.


Startled by the loud noise, Fluttershy and all the animals screeched and scattered for cover. Everyone else turned their eyes to the roof of the Caretaker's house just as a grey mare, with blond hair and an open mail bag, smashed through it on a crash course into the backyard. Behind her, a mass of sealed envelopes poured from her open bag.

“Derpy!” Pinkie shouted as she carelessly sprang from cover. Quick reflexes, fast movement speed, and a large leap had Pinkie intercepting the mare in attempt to soften the oncoming collision. She wrapped her arms around Derpy, held tight, and braced for a harsh impact. One that never came.

Both ponies, having clenched their eyes shut, opened them to discover that they were trapped within a white bubble of magic that slowly drifted down to the ground. Thornstar’s horn ceased its magical glow, letting the two safely touchdown and stand upon all fours.

Fluttershy previously took cover beneath her forelegs as she lay trembling next to a fencepost off to the side of the house. Having not heard any further sounds of devastation, she curiously peeked between her limbs and spotted the two mares as they had just been saved. “Pinkie? Derpy? W-what’s going on here?” Fluttershy shakingly asked as she pushed herself up and looked around at the damage. There was a large gaping hole through the top of her roof with chunks of it spread about the backyard and a massive amount of scattered letters to go with the mess.

Derpy, who appeared to have sustained no damage, shifted her divergent eyes around the destruction she’d left in her wake as she tried to adjust the loose straps of her mailbag. “I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” Derpy’s attention quickly shifted between Fluttershy and the envelopes as she then tried to sweep them up in her hooves and stuff them back into her bag. “I’ve been running really late on making my rounds so I was trying to save some time by sorting mail while flying and,” all watched as a chunk of wood snapped free from a pillar in the attic and landed with a loud thud, “it obviously wasn’t my best plan.”

Fluttershy turned to the clumsy mare with a plaintive expression. “Well, I’m glad no one was hurt, but m-my house,” she whimpered softly as her eyes found their way back to the disaster. Just seeing such an ugly hole in her longtime, beloved home made it feel like there was a similar hole punched into her heart.

“I know! Again, I’m really, really sorry!” Derpy took a moment to stop scooping up letters as she was ready to grovel before Fluttershy. “Please don’t tell anypony about this!” She was on her knees with her hooves clasped together as she bowed her head repeatedly. “If you do, my boss will surely hear of what I’ve done and I’ll get fired for certain this time!” She moved even closer to Fluttershy with her head hung low. “I’ll do whatever I can to help out. I don’t have much, but I’ll pay whatever you want. I’ll even do anything you want. Just please, please don’t tell anypony!”

At a loss for words, Fluttershy’s eyes shifted from side to side. She obviously didn’t want to do anything to put the mailmare’s job at risk, but to fix the rather large hole that her house had obtained would likely be beyond their combined price range. How Derpy could even help beyond affording the repair, she just didn’t know.

Seeing that two friends were clearly in distress, Pinkie broke the silence as she couldn’t stand by any longer. “It’s okay, you two!” She stepped between them and forced a cheerful smile to help brighten the situation. “I’m sure we’ll figure this out. I’ll even help out too. We can get through this and all we really need to do is work together!”

The two slowly turned to Pinkie. Each of them gave her an open ear and an uneasy look.

“Don’t worry, it’ll all be fine!” Pinkie affirmed and even felt a little better herself as she tried to cheer them up. “We’ll keep this nice and quiet so Derpy’ll keep her job, and maybe Dash and Applejack wouldn’t mind lending a hand to fix this. After all, they certainly... do... have... experience in… uh...” Her inspirational speech died down to sheer mumbling; this time because she and the other mares were distracted by a flow of white magic that covered nearly the entire backyard and house.

In a flash the aura was gone, along with the debris and envelopes. Two more bright flashes immediately followed. The first filled Derpy’s mailbag with every envelope that had fallen from it. The second flash had Fluttershy’s house fully repaired and looking as if the hole had never been made. All three mares, with their mouths hanging open, turned to look upon the unicorn who seemed to have fixed the whole issue with seemingly little effort.

“Sorry,” Thornstar looked over his work as he spoke. “Took me a little while to gather the energy to cast such a spell.” In mere moments, he swept aside Pinkie’s uplifting speech along with the entire issue. Only the two other mares cheered.

“That was amazing, Mister Ravenblack!” Fluttershy waved her forelegs in excitement.

Derpy mimicked the same motion. “Yeah! That was excellent!”

Pinkie, on the other hoof, was wide eyed and silent. She took a few paces back and watched as the trio rejoice. With her previous upbeat feelings washed away, that familiar feeling of depression slipped right back in. Why she felt such a way was beyond her.

Derpy stopped flailing her front legs and went back to standing on all fours. “Oh no!” she gasped, looking between Fluttershy and Thornstar. “I’m still late! I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta get moving, pronto!” With a beat of her wings, she flew right over stallion. “Thank you so much, Darkraven guy!” she shouted before disappearing from view as she passed over the house.

Fluttershy slowly made her way towards him. “Yes, thank you very much! I’ve never seen such a spell. What was it?”

“A small mixture of repair spells.” His chest puffed a little as he looked over his work on the house. “I made it myself, so it isn’t one that you would find in any textbook.”

“How amazing,” she continued praising, “I expected a lot from the brother of Twilight, one of the most powerful ponies I know, but not this much. I mean, making your own spells? How fascinating!” She flashed yet another smile to him as she walked on by. “Come on, let me make you some tea for all your help.”

Pinkie waved a hoof and called out as her friend and the stranger made their way towards the backdoor of the house. “Hey, what about-” the two disappeared into the tiny home and the door clicked shut behind them, “-me?” No response. Bombarded by bothersome thoughts, she watched the newly repaired home in silence as the animals slowly regrouped to stir around the food littered yard. What just happened? Why do I still feel so unhappy? Her quiet reflecting was disrupted by her muffled, and stashed away, spoon companion who was trying to yell something at her. Likely, some more superstitious ideas that she no longer wanted to listen to.

“No, Pinkie!” she told herself as she stood straight and took a deep breath. “Time to stop being down on yourself! Who cares if anypony hardly glanced at you! Everything turned out fine, and that’s what really matters!” She brushed her long strands of hair from her eyes and looked onward with determination. “You were just wordlessly invited along for tea too. I’m sure Fluttershy’s even working on a third cup this very moment.” Pinkie marched right over to the back door, ignoring the muffled yells of her clearly upset utensil. “A third cup that won’t be given to a pony who spies on her friends, that’s for sure.” Pinkie remarked before opening up the door.

Upon entering the house, Pinkie heard several knocks on the front door.

There were soft clattering sounds of cups and plates being set aside before Fluttershy exited the kitchen. “I didn’t think Rainbow Dash would be here for at least another hour,” Fluttershy thought out loud while moving through the living room to answer the door.

Thornstar stepped out far enough to watch from the kitchen entrance.

To everyone’s surprise, it wasn’t Rainbow Dash at all.

“Howdy there!” said Applejack as she tipped her hat to all three, not bothering to step through the open doorway.

Pinkie instantly felt that something was off. It was Apple Bucking Season, so what Applejack was doing at Fluttershy’s house during her morning shift was beyond her. Pinkie knew full well that that Applejack wouldn't easily pass up on working just to visit some new guy, or even Fluttershy, for something simple. It worried Pinkie to think that beyond the smile and upbeat tone in her voice, something else was wrong.

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