• Published 30th Dec 2012
  • 1,570 Views, 47 Comments

The Pinkiemian Rhapsody - Key Strix

"Is this the real life? Please tell me it’s just fantasy. I’m now tangled in strife with no friends left for me. With tears in my eyes I look up to the skies and plea: I’m Pinkie Pie and this isn’t my reality."

  • ...

Thorn in a Haystack

With her energy well sapped, Pinkamena sat against a tree trunk. Through the treetops of Sweet Apple Acres she watched with eyes that watered beyond her control as the sun inched its way across the sky. Occasionally, Pinkie turned to the silver spoon that she kept in her right hoof, as it continuously tried to appease her.

“You know we can’t sit around here all day, right?” said the reflection of Pinkie in the shiny utensil as it looked over at the sobbing mare.

Pinkie wiped a tear from under a reddened eye as she stared at her companion. “Didn’t you see the way they looked at me? Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy... they really must hate me! My friends... my best friends... they’ve never been like this to me before! Sure, there were times where things were a bit uneasy, but they’ve never flat out yelled at me, scolded me, or threw me out of parties.”

“You haven’t been listening to me at all, have you?” The image scoffed. “Of course. Like usual. You’d think I’d have gotten used to this treatment by now.” The reflection shook its head. “Look, you still have Dash, Rarity, the Cakes, Gummy, and many others as friends.”

“But for how long?! How long will it be before I say or do something stupid that makes them hate me too?”

“That’s the point I’m trying to build to here. You don’t have much time, and you’re wasting it sobbing like an overgrown filly. At this rate, everypony in Ponyville could hate you within a week.”

“A week?!”

“Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s possible. However, if you let me finish, I’m trying to tell you that it’s not your fault. Again. We really need to find out what this Thornstar stallion is actually up to!”

“But what if he isn’t really behind it? What if my friends are just abandoning me?” Pinkie sniffled before forming a mild glare. “Just talking down to me and then leaving me behind after all the super nice things I’ve done for them.” She squinted a little more as her voice filled with spite.

“Come on, you know that isn’t true. Think back to the last time you thought that way of them. You could not have been more wrong.”

With a single deep exhale, Pinkie’s spiteful tone and sharp look disappeared. “You’re right. But how do we find out what that guy is up to? I mean, I’ve been shut out of the group. I don’t think they’d take me showing up so soon too kindly. I wouldn’t want to chance sneaking again. Who knows how they’ll react if they catch me.”

“Sure, but what do you mean by ‘soon’? I think you’ve been sitting under this tree for an hour now. What we really should be doing is digging around Ponyville to see what info we can come up with.”

“Wait a second.” Pinkie’s eyes shifted before focusing on the image in the spoon. “Who are you?”

The image returned a deadpan expression. “Really? You haven’t figured that out? You don’t even know who I am and it took you this long to ask?”

Pinkie shrugged. “I... guess I’ve been a little distracted.”

“I’m the smart side of you, idiot. A side you almost always ignore, on a daily basis.”

“Really?” She blinked in a curious manner as her sadness slowly subsided. “I have a smart side?”

“Yes! Yes you do!”

“What other sides do I have?”

“Errr... I’d rather stay off that topic.”

“Well, since you’re my smart side, would you actually happen to know how to solve this Thornstar issue so I can get my friends back?”

“Don’t you think I would have given you that answer by now if I already knew? Besides, I said I was smart, I didn’t say I was a genius. Also, if I may say, what you said back there with the others wasn’t dumb at all.”


“Really. It’s like what Twilight once taught us: question what just doesn’t seem right. So now that we know something is wrong, what we need, again, is evidence.”

“But what about the evidence that we had? That picture of Twilight’s family?”

“Forget about that. I’m sure Thornstar did some evil magic stuff to manipulate it to help turn Dash against you.”

The very thought of Dash thinking lowly of her made Pinkie’s head dip downward and eyes water up again as-

“No! Stop that!” The reflection scolded her. “We have no more time for you to be getting all sad-eyed again, so get a hold of yourself because we need to get going! If you want your friends back, quit crying and get busy!”

Her chest rose and fell deeply as she tried to relieve herself from the stress of her sadness. She closed her eyes and wiped away what she hoped to be the last of her tears. “You’re right,” she admitted with plenty of strength in her tone before pushing herself up to start making her way back to town. “I can’t be sitting around here all day doing nothing.” She glanced to the spoon she carried by her side with a soft smile. “Thank you, Smarty Spoon.”

“Oh great.” The reflection rolled its eyes. “Now I have a dumb nickname. Fine. Whatever. Let’s just go.”

They had only traveled a short distance towards town through Sweet Apple Acres and its barren trees until Smarty went on alert.

“Whoa, Pinkie! Hold up there!”

The mare instantly halted. “Huh? Why?”

“Look around. What do you see?”

Pinkie’s eyes darted around as she took in her surroundings. “Just a bunch of trees.”


“The grass, the mountains, the clouds, a nopony, the sun, and the sky.”

Smarty sighed heavily. “Okay, so what’s missing?”

Having turned to her inanimate friend, Pinkie simply shrugged.

“The apples. Not nearly this many trees had been cleared out when we started the search for Big Mac.”

“Oh.” Pinkie blinked ponderously before she went back to looking around. “You’re right! I’ve never seen this place cleared of apples so fast.”

“Good! Now you’re thinking again.”

Pinkie ignored Smarty’s snide tone as she turned her attention to the sound of a distant rumbling. Kicking dust to the wind, the mare headed straight towards the source. From the same direction that Pinkie was running, the shouting of a familiar pony could be heard.

“Yeehaw!” Applejack’s voice echoed distantly.

As soon as Pinkie could see the very tiny image of the cowpony, she stopped, deciding it best to keep her distance.

Applejack continued to cheer gleefully. “I’ve never seen such good buckin’ in all ma’h life!” Her voice rang loud and clear. “Maybe you should work at the farm as well as the hospital!” Towards where Applejack was looking, a silhouette of what looked to be Thornstar appeared with his head hung low.

She couldn’t hear what he was saying, but Pinkie imagined that it was something overly timid after Applejack’s high praise. Just imagining the tone and the likely bashful look on his face irked Pinkie. Something about him mixing such a timid manner into his giant feats seemed... wrong to her.

“It’s not the manner. It’s the deceit behind the manner,” said Smarty Spoon. “Being humble is fine. But, using that humble manner to manipulate is a whole other story.”

Pinkie nodded in agreement, then turned her back in disgust.

“Yeah. Let’s just keep walking.”

From shop to shop and house to house, Pinkamena questioned pony after pony. Not a single one knew of the name Thornstar Ravenblack. Nearly another full hour had been quickly lost to what turned out to be a hopeless investigation.

“Nothing.” Pinkie slumped forward to rest her chin and forelegs upon the table before her as she watched the streets bustle with crowds of ponies. None of them seemed to notice as Pinkie looked to her spoon and said, “Not a single pony knows. Even super-knowledgeable ones like the mayor, granny, or even the second most party-est pony, Vinyl.”

“Well, you tried. I guess that leaves us with only one option of who to ask next.”

Pinkie remained silent for a moment before sighing heavily. “It isn’t a very good option.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve turned into Scaredy Pie. Whatever happened to laughing away your fears?”

“Laughing away most spooky stuff is great and all, but... laughing away friends who are mad at you usually doesn’t go over so well.”

“I see what you mean. Though, I don’t think you have a choice. Twilight’s the pony who would know the most about her supposed other brother.”

Pinkie groaned in response.

“Oh come on. Don’t make me give you yet another pep talk! Seems Twilight is all we’ve got to go off now, and if you have to, you’re going to grit your teeth and tell her you're sorry. We need to get all the information we can in order to really figure out what’s going on here!”

“Fiiiine.” Pinkie huffed before dragging herself out from behind the table as if her limbs were being weighed down by bags of sand. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Eyes to her hooves as they dragged listlessly, the mare hardly watched where she was heading as she tried to think over everything that could possibly happen the moment she’d knock on Twilight’s door.

That moment came all too soon, as Pinkie only had to walk a couple blocks to reach the library. She stared at the door and exhaled deeply to relax her nerves. “Time for the moment of truth.” She said to herself before giving the door a loud knock.


Pinkie knocked again, but a little louder.

“It’s open!” Shouted the muffled voice of Twilight.

Cautiously, Pinkie pushed her way in, closing the door behind her. She took a moment to look around the main level of the library. It was cluttered with all the party tables and decorations from last night’s event, showing that nopony had bothered to clean up afterwards. Even the cake was carelessly left out, and had been only partially eaten. The only thing that was different from last night was the freshly pulled books from the shelves that littered the floor, which was already covered in confetti and loose streamers. It became obvious to Pinkie that Twilight was studying once more and was likely too invested in her work to bother with taking care of the mess. Twilight herself was nowhere in sight.

“Twilight?” Pinkie’s voice echoed.


Pinkie followed the given direction of the muffled voice. Along her way, she spotted the little birdhouse that Owlowiscious slept within. Poor guy, Pinkie thought as she stopped to peek into the open circular door of his tiny house, unable to see the sleeping owl within. Your party died way too soon and didn’t go very well at all. She shook her head before looking around at the mess that she knew would have been cleaned up by now if she had stayed. I promise I’ll make it up to you.

Sure enough, Twilight was in her study with her nose in a book and her back to the door. Pinkie stepped in and looked around the room which was cluttered with books, quills, scrolls, and papers; but Twilight didn’t even bother facing her guest. Having stood around for a while and watched as Twilight flipped between pages in her book, Pinkie pondered carefully on her first set of words before breaking the silence. “Morning, Twilight,” she said awkwardly, despite the fact that it was almost noon. “Uh... nice weather we’re having today, huh?”

“Of course it’s nice.” Twilight, clearly annoyed by the disturbance, responded without breaking her gaze text she was studying. “We aren’t scheduled for any bad weather for a couple more weeks.”

Pinkie looked rather uneasy as she tried to think of something else to say during yet another period of silence that came between them, as Twilight refused to tear the majority of her attention from her book. “So... where’s Spike?”

“I sent him off so that nopony would distract me during my studies.” Twilight flipped over another page. “I don’t have time to be obstructed from them as I need to be in top form and at my mental peak for when I next meet with Princess Celestia. We’re supposed to be covering my understanding of certain battles that happened after the Era of Discord, but right now I’m having a hard time finding the right books. So, whatever this is about, I ask that you make it quick.”

“Your brother.”

Those two words finally managed to break the librarian’s focus from her book. “Thornstar?” Her ears perked straight up before she looked over her shoulder to the mare in front of the doorway who was trying her best to force a smile. “Pinkie?” Twilight’s voice nicely lifted just as her ears did, but after a short pause for thought, both dropped pretty low. “Oh, Pinkie.” With a bothered sigh, Twilight decided to turn her eyes to a nearby shelf, obviously seeking a different book without even putting the her current back. “So what is it now? Have you come to make a joke out of him too?”

The part of Pinkie that wanted to rant to Twilight about her recent suspicions of the strange stallion suddenly died, killed by Twilight’s harsh tone that set a conversational line that Pinkie didn’t want to cross. “N-no.” She bit back her words while poorly hiding the fading smile on her face. “I... just wanted to say that... I’m... I am... really... really...” Pinkie spoke ever so slowly while her eyes scanned about the room. She really wanted to go off and vent all the suspicions she had about Thornstar. Yet, she couldn’t help but fear that such actions would trigger a response from Twilight that wouldn’t differ much from the way Applejack and Fluttershy reacted to Pinkie’s questioning back at Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie had no other choice but to say the best thing she could think of to help get someone on her side to help figure out just who this Thornstar pony really was. Thankfully, Twilight was no longer looking her way, as Pinkie couldn’t help but speak through her clenched teeth. “S-sorry.”

“Really?” Twilight glanced over her shoulder.

A good question. As much as Pinkie knew that she wasn’t sorry for what suspicions she had against Twilight’s brother, there were things that she could say that wouldn’t make her a total liar. “Uh-huh.” Pinkie nodded. “I am. I’m really sorry I upset you after Thornstar showed up. I never meant to. I also didn’t mean to ruin Owlowiscious’s party.” With a couple steps forward and a lowered head, Pinkie asked, “Can you please forgive me?”

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