An unexpected opportunity (part 1)
”Dammit, this sucks.” Jackie Trade had known it was coming. How could she not? She wasn’t the first, nor would she be the last. With the economy in its current declining state, Manehattan was becoming one of the worst places to own a small business, especially one like hers. As she reluctantly hung the ‘Out of Business’ sign on the front door of her store, the earth pony looked back one more time at the empty room, still somewhat smelling of oil and old, worn tools. The room simply stared back, cold and dark. As she slowly emerged outside onto the busy street, she locked the door and handed off the keys to the landlord, who had ‘graciously’ agreed to watch her cart as she finished up.
”So sorry about the whole ‘doubling the rent’ fiasco. I feel really bad about you having to close your shop.” The landlord's tone easily indicated otherwise. In fact, it sounded like the old pony was glad to be rid of her. Most likely unsatisfied with the money he made from her, he somehow modified the contract and doubled her rent without her knowing. She really should've taken the time to make a copy. It happened so quickly, she had to assume that he had claims almost immediately, despite the previously lower price. Must’ve forgotten to mention that to the new tenants. Jackie shot him a dirty look, holding herself back from mashing up his muzzle.
She was certainly able to. He wasn’t an old geezer, but she wasn’t a tiny mare either. In fact, she was quite large, standing slightly taller than the average stallion. She brushed her scruffy brown mane out of her face, her glare locked on his head, playing images in her mind of stomping him into the ground. Then again, jail didn’t sound too inviting, even though she would most likely be able to handle herself.
”Thanks for the concern. You know where to shove it.” At that, Jackie hitched herself into her cart and left behind her shop and the landlord’s smug grin, heading towards her apartment not too far from her shop. That had been another bonus. Sure, it was downtown Manehattan, certainly not known for its… friendly neighborhood, but it was convenient, if not a little rundown. Maybe that’s why her shop closed. She posted flyers and was willing to make long trips to do the job, but it got to the point where ‘Jack of all Trades’ was turning into an unwanted title.
With the economy going the way it was, not only did it kill her business, but she saw a growing trend of specialists being hired instead. No longer did others want a pony that could do the job. Rather, they wanted one who was meant to do it. General repair? She could do it. Plumbing? She could do that, too. Rearrange your furniture? Might as well, since it was extra money and an easy job. She was able to do almost anything. But her ultimate downfall, the one she cursed herself for time and time again, was the second half of her title: The ‘Jack of all Trades… but a master of none’.
The others were professionals. They were meant to do that work. Couldn’t do much else but their job was their life. Knew it inside and out, while Jackie, on the knowledge of almost any task was well below professional status. She knew the job maybe half as well as the professionals and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t really progress much farther than that.
She thought back to her cutie mark. She didn’t get it because she could do all those things. It appeared because she wanted to do them. She wanted to help as much as she could, in any way she could. Living at home with her parents, Jackie tinkered with and helped fix various objects and such around the house, even wandering around and asking the neighbors if they had anything that was broken. Jackie figured the more she learned, the more ponies she could help.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Mom, look! I think I fixed it!" A small brown maned filly with a large pair of glasses resting on her muzzle bounded into the living room, holding a small... something in her mouth. It was wrapped up in tape from top to bottom, with a few nails that had not been hammered in fully seen around the edges.
"Jackie Trade, stop running around with that! Crazy kid..."
The young pony apologized and carefully set the item down in front of her mother, beaming at her. Her mother, an earth pony named Clover, simply looked at the object in front of her with a slightly puzzled expression. The filly's smile didn't fade even after the extended silence between the two.
"Um... Jackie, is that a birdhouse?"
"Sure is! It fell from our tree and broke, so I wanted to fix it! Can't leave the birds without a home, no matter how annoying they are!"
Her mother chuckled and picked up the small structure in her mouth. She placed it on her lap and turned it over a few times, examining the work, pausing every time she reached a nail. She finally set it back down and smiled, ruffling her daughter's hair.
"Well, at least it won't fall apart now. And the nails could act as perches, right?"
Jackie simple stared at her mother, immediately realizing that as a possibility. Then she nodded and tried to look like that was her intention the whole time.
"Y-yeah, that's totally what I was going for!"
"Well, let's go hang this up. I'm sure the birds will be happy to know that you fixed their home for them."
"Yay!" Jackie was far too little to hang it up herself, so her mother leaned over and let her climb onto her back, the young filly once again holding the birdhouse in her mouth. Despite the little one's objections and excitement, her mother walked slowly and carefully, not wanting to throw her daughter from her precarious perch. She pushed open the door and started towards the tree where the birdhouse hook could be seen.
"Ooh, ooh, there it is, Mom!"
"I see it." She stepped next to the tree, the hook at the perfect height for her daughter to reach from her back. Jackie leaned against the tree with her stomach and used both of her front hooves to slide the birdhouse into place. Almost immediately, a blue bird flew by and hovered near the birdhouse as if inspecting it. Cautiously, as if it understood how it was now constructed, landed on the primary perch sticking it head through the hole, then eventually sliding his whole body through. After a moment, the bird stuck its head out and whistled at them gleefully, flying off most likely to gather materials for it's nest.
"Did you see that!? It liked it! Maybe they won't be so loud anymore!"
"I wouldn't count on it, honey. But you should be glad that you went out of your way to do something nice, even if there was a small ulterior motive."
"Ul...teri...or? What's that mean?" Jackie racked her young brain in an attempt to define the new word, but failed miserably.
"Don't worry about it."
"Hey, mom, can I have a honey bun? I did good, right?"
Clover simply laughed at her daughter's bluntness. It was too cute and she did do something nice without being (completely) selfish. "Sure, why not? Only one though. Don't need you getting all pudgy."
A few years later...
"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" Jackie, now in her early teen years, walked through the front door and dropped her school bags on the stool near the door.
"Hey, honey! How was school?" Her mother called out from the kitchen. She was pouring herself a drink while her father was sitting on the couch, his left hind leg in a cast.
"Eh, it was normal. Nothing exciting. How's your leg, dad?"
"Still in pain, but nothing new either." Her father, a unicorn named Gem, was resting on the couch, his leg propped up on a stool. Jackie stared at her father's broken leg. It had been two weeks since he had been hit by that carriage and the driver had left town. Fat chance they would ever get to sue him.
"You didn't fall off the stairs again, did you?"
"Almost, but I caught myself this time."
"We need a ramp!"
"We can't afford it. We've been over this."
"Yeah, but..." She was interrupted by her mother knocking on the wall to get their attention. Clover smiled that same motherly smile she always had and took a sip of her drink.
"We'll figure something out."
Jackie frowned at those words, not wanting to hear them. After all, it wasn't the first time they used that excuse and never did anything about it. But she would. "You're right. We will. I will. I'm going out."
"Where are you going, Jackie?"
"I'll be right back!" With that, she rushed to the door, grabbing her school bags on the way out. After she was outside, she poked through her bags to see how many bits she had left. Not very many, but enough to get started. "Why didn't I ever think of this before? I've been helping everyone out except my own parents! I'm such an idiot!"
Luckily, the hardware store was still open and she immediately spent her precious little money on nails and a few boards. She could borrow the tools from the neighbors. After exiting the shop, she made her way to the neighbor's to the left of their house. An old unicorn stallion and his wife lived there and were happy to let her borrow the tools. She grabbed a hammer and wood saw and returned to her house, dropping everything near the front steps. "Alright, Jackie. You learn hooves on. It shouldn't be that hard, right?"
It only took her an hour to finish her project. She stood back and inspected her work, finding somewhat numerous yet largely negligible malformations. The platform seemed a little warped, but the wheels wouldn't even be touching the middle of it. It also looked a little off, but the basic design was there and it was sturdy. All in all, it should be good enough. She placed it on the step, finding her measurements to be off as well, making it wobble a tiny bit. Still negligible, and not half bad for her first time. Now it was time to show her parents. She pushed open the door, making sure to step over the ramp on her way in.
"Mom, Dad. I have something to show you." Her father gave her a puzzled look, her mother walking towards her slowly.
"Is everything okay, dear?"
"Yeah, it should be. Come on, I built a ramp and I want Dad to try it out."
"Hang on, give me a sec." Gem levitated his crutches to his side and with Clover's help, propped himself up. Jackie pushed the wheelchair closer to him as he walked around the coffee table and watched him plop himself down.
"Alright, I'm ready. Show me your work." Gem pushed himself over to the open door, waiting for Jackie to hop over the ramp before trying it out himself.
"Is it safe?"
"Yeah, of course it is. I tested it out and it doesn't wiggle that much. See?" Jackie pressed hard on it with her hooves, showing off the sturdiness, the ramp only giving slightly under her weight.
"Well, let's try it out!" Her father's horn lit up and a soft aura surrounded the wheels slowly rolling him forward to the edge where the ramp met the stairs. He pushed forward another inch and the wheels connected with wood. As he lifted the magic from the chair, gravity grabbed hold and quickly rolled him to the sidewalk. It was a little steeper than it needed to be, Jackie noted, but it worked. There was no major warping and more than enough room for the wheelchair to move around on it.
"Perfect! You did amazing, Jackie! Come here and give your old man a hug!" Jackie rushed forward and gave her father a big hug, her mother leaning against the doorway with a smile on her face.
"It's just a simple ramp, Dad. Nothing special."
"You're kidding, right? This makes it so much easier for me! And to be honest, the labor was much cheaper than I expected it to be." He winked at his daughter as Clover laughed at his joke.
Jackie walked back to the ramp, inspecting it one last time. "I mean, it's not great. Once I save up a little more money, I can reinforce it or rebuild it into something better. Maybe I could even..."
"Hey, Jackie." Clover poked her head with a head to get her attention.
"Yeah? What's up, mom?"
"You might wanna look behind you."
"Huh?" Jackie peered behind her, but only saw her father smiling at her and chuckling. "What am I looking for?"
"Oh, for the love of... Look at your flank, smart one!"
Jackie lowered her view to her flank, noticing something that most definitely wasn't there before. A lightning bolt with a hammer and wrench had appeared in a place where a cutie mark would go. That would mean...
"My cutie mark! Holy crap, yes!"
"And it only took a few minutes to notice. You owe me five bits, dear."
"That bet was only two bits!"
"I also won the first bet, remember?"
Jackie rolled her eyes, not surprised in the slightest. Those two were always making pointless bets. "Dear Celestia... What the hay was bet this time?"
"Well, when you left the house suddenly, we decided to bet on what you were going to do. I... thought that you were going to get a honey bun..."
"Oh gee, thanks, mom." She watched her dad carefully roll up and down the ramp a few times while he chuckled.
"Well, you obviously know what I bet on. Five bits, please."
Clover put on a grumpy face and tossed her bet at him, Gem catching the coins with his magic. Jackie looked at her cutie mark again, and smiled.
"I'll bet you two had no idea I'd have gotten this baby. Score!"
"That's a bet you would've won, too. We're proud of you, Jackie."
"Thanks, mom. Now for the hard part... Figuring out exactly what it means."
Both of her parents gave her a blank look while she examined it. Could it be construction? Maybe general repair? Then it clicked and she grinned widely.
"You two feeling lucky?"
Gem shook his head, holding his bits close to him. Maybe he realized it was a rigged bet, something he picked up after being with Clover for a few years.
"Well, what is it, hun? Don't leave us in the dark."
She gave it one last look before choosing he answer. She felt it was the correct one, since she thought back to what she was feeling when she got it.
"I think... I think I got it because I love helping."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
But now… Well, helping was nice, but it didn’t pay the bills. No business back home, barely getting by in the city, she did everything she could simply for money. It was nice to see the happy look on satisfied customer’s face, but they were becoming few and far between. Jackie no longer looked for it.
”Hey, watch where you’re goin’, mare!” A small shove shook her out of her less-than-wistful daydreaming. She quietly apologized and kept walking, not really surprised to find herself in front of the complex she lived in. She had walked these streets so many times, she could probably find it even if she was walking blind. Sighing, she locked up her cart and took everything she had up in one trip, halfway expecting the cart to be gone in the morning. Theft was a certainty in this area and she was lucky to end the day with the vest on her back. She only lived three stories high, so the trip wasn’t too straining, at least on her. But each step creaked beneath the her as she climbed, and she wondered if today would the day the floorboards would finally break apart. Shoving open her door, she gazed upon the familiar layout of her barren apartment.
”Home sweet… ugh.” She dumped her tools and supplies onto the floor with a loud clatter, probably ticking off her next door neighbors Didn't really matter to her, since they were normally just as loud and more often. Jackie was glad she was a hard sleeper. She opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk, along with some cheap daisies and a honey bun. A winning meal for sure. She really needed to stop buying junk food. Sitting down on her mattress, she pulled the meal towards her and absentmindedly chewed on the flowers, not really paying attention to the muffled noise coming from the neighbor’s place. Sounded like they were arguing again.
Finishing off the flowers, she took a sip of milk and started on the honey bun, arguably the best part of her day so far. Its sweet glaze, the tasty dash of cinnamon in the middle and the overall fluffiness made her sigh lightly. Jackie liked them a little too much, the evil treats contributing to her already hefty weight. She savored the treat as long as possible and was quite disappointed when the last bite was taken. There were only a couple of swallows left, so she chugged the milk and chucked the empty carton towards the garbage can. It bounced around the rim for a second and finally fell in, causing her to smirk.
With a heavy sigh brought on by frustration, she let her sore muscles relax and flopped backwards onto her mattress, a simple one without a bed frame. She felt that she didn’t need to waste money on that, when she could still get a good night’s sleep. Halfway under the pillow lay her prized possession, the one thing that followed her as often as possible and was really the only consistent thing in her life. Her small stuffed Ursa Minor bear, whom she cleverly named ‘Ursy’. Pulling him close, she cuddled the toy and stared blankly at the wall, trying to figure out what she was going to do for money. ”Maybe they need some help over at a construction site somewhere. Few of those around.”
It was only mid-day. She needed to get up and look for work, but her motivation had hit rock bottom and was threatening to go into the negative, if that was even possible. Still, the lingering threat of going hungry was enough to get her going. Lying there for a few more seconds, she quickly threw herself up to avoid her body rebelling, ignoring the desire to lay there like a piece of meat. Staring out the window, Jackie remembered how much she missed being home. It was nice there. The outskirts of the city were so much different compared to the clustered mess that was downtown Manehattan. Here, vendors lined the streets, selling their wares while the occasional performer would try to grab attention by doing some crazy trick for a small tip. Most likely there was some nearby alley that held a mugger and their unfortunate victim. She would never understand the appeal of big cities.
Tucking Ursy back under the pillow, she left her apartment, headed down the stairs and out onto the street, determined to find work. ‘Help wanted’ signs were nowhere to be seen, but the she could see a construction site off in the distance. The building looked to be already halfway completed, but there might still be an opening this late in the game. She felt guilty, but she halfway hoped that some poor pony was just barely too injured to work. Maybe the foreman wouldn’t mind taking on a mare. Jackie was more than capable of heavy lifting and it wasn’t the first time she was in that line of work. After all, working at one of these sites helped her open her own shop. If not, she might have to stick with doing whatever she could for a while.
Jackie trotted briskly down the sidewalk, keeping a slight eye on those around her. It was downtown, after all, and pockets naturally seemed begging to be subtly scrounged through. The construction site was a few blocks down and while she was quite capable of handling herself, there was the random daredevil who managed to snatch something from her. The last one wasn't quite so skilled and was lucky to leave with only a smashed muzzle.
She stopped at a crosswalk and stood off to the side, scanning the small crowd walking with her. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was your average mix of ages, races and genders. She recognized one of her neighbors but didn’t bother saying 'hi'. They were signaled to cross and Jackie stayed on the outside of her group, habitually patting her vest, something she quickly picked up on after the first time someone picked her pocket. Reaching the other side of the street, she lost view of the construction site, but headed straight down the strip trying not to bump any of the ponies around her. Most of the group that was with her had dispersed except for a couple of younger stallions and one older one.
Jackie finally reached the construction site, the loud noises somewhat comforting to hear. Familiarity is one hell of a clincher when it comes to decisions. But she didn’t see any signs asking for help nor did she see anyone that looked like the foreman. She noticed a trailer off to the side and knew that if he was anywhere, that would be the place to look. Trotting over with a smile that took a small bit of effort to conjure, she knocked three times and stepped back. Jackie hoped he wasn't the typical foreman type. Always rude and not too socially adept. She certainly wasn't expecting to see the pony that opened the door.
“Rivet? What the hay are you doing in the trailer?”
"Jackie Trade! Hey, it's been a while!" Rivet laughed loudly and chucked the mare on the shoulder. He was powerfully built, certainly fit for where he worked, with deep and friendly voice. He was the first friend she made after moving to the city and proved to be a good one, as not only did he help her get her first job, but he was able to snag her an apartment as well. He was a sweet guy and a single father; His colt was old enough for school, allowing him to work a regular job. Jackie admired him greatly for that but never had any interest in him except as a work buddy. They never hung out regularly, the only exceptions being at work or maybe the occasional bar visit. Jackie wasn't a big drinker, but Rivet was. More than once she had to help the stallion home.
”What’re you doing here? Hey, how’s your shop goin’? I haven’t been able to stop by, been a little too busy.”
”Well, that’s the thing, big guy… I had to close up shop. My rent was doubled...” She rubbed the back of her head, her smile now forced. Rivet cocked an eyebrow at her, a concerned expression replacing the bright smile.
”So, are you asking for money or a job? ‘Cuz I hate to be a jerk, but I have neither for you. We have just barely enough to cover those working already.” Hit the nail on the head. Despite the words that were spoken, his tone was soft and caring. It still stung her a little.
”You know I’d never ask you for money out of your pocket. You have a colt to look after. I just came to look for a job, but… I’m sure I can find something elsewhere. Luckily, my apartment’s paid off for the month." Despite her slightly positive outlook, there was that nagging thought that told her this would happen.
"I really wish I could help, girl. I'd let you borrow money, but I'm short as it is."
"No ,no, don't worry about it. Just, if you could, keep an eye out for me. It was good seeing you again, but I gotta find somewhere to work by the end of the day.” Head hanging, Jackie left the worksite, with her friend wishing her good luck after her. "What did you expect? You might have to end go live with mom and dad for a while." Lost in thought, she walked headfirst into another pony somewhat roughly. Startled, she quickly apologized, making sure they were okay, but quickly recognized him as the older stallion from the group. She was puzzled, as he should have been long gone by now. He was slightly taller than her, a unicorn and his age was showing on his face.
”Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear your predicament.”
She should have figured. This old pony had been following her, but for what reason, she didn't know.
”You have a reason for butting in on other pony’s business?” That sounded less harsh in her head, but he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping. Jackie tried to make herself seem a little more intimidating, not quite sure what to make of him, but she didn't want to take any chances. She liked being able to choose between fight or flight.
”You can put all that away, young lady. I mean to cause no issues with you. Name’s Thatcher. Instead, I have an offer to extend towards you.”
”...Jackie. What kind of offer?” Now she was suspicious. A random offer from a random pony just sounded like trouble.
”You ever hear of a place called Ponyville? The look on your face tells me no. Quite a small town. Real peaceful and everything, but we get our share of excitement. That’s beside the point, though. I own a small roofing business there and I do quite well for myself. However, I’m getting on in years and my productivity has slowed down a tad. Strangely enough, not a single pony was willing or able to help me out and I know Manehattan has a lot of workers itching for a steady job.”
Out of instinct, Jackie’s desire to help came rushing forth, pushing her to ask more, with the optimistic side of her hearing the words ‘steady job’ and pushed just as hard. Then the realistic side slapped her and told her to think for once in her life. She found it very odd that there wasn't anyone in his town to work for him. She couldn’t help but wonder what his game really was. Nobody just walks up to a random pony and ask them to help work in another town. Maybe.
"Why me? Not only am I a stranger, I'm an earth pony. Not really born to do the job."
”I’m a pretty good judge of character. I saw you lose your shop and you kept your cool. You headed to your apartment and came right back out, without missing a beat. You hated asking your friend for money, despite needing it. Even now, I have the feeling that you’re on the fence about my offer, which is good. Means you’re willing to listen. And besides..." He looked at her cutie mark and smirked. "'Born to do the job' doesn't really apply to you, does it?"
”L-Lucky guess... Anyway, so what’s the whole offer? There’s obviously more to it than that.”
Thatcher nodded and continued, the smirk still present. ”Here’s the whole offer: I need someone to help me out in Ponyville. You look like you're trustworthy enough. It includes free room and board, although with a smaller paycheck. You’re also free to seek out smaller jobs during the times when you aren’t working.”
She must’ve had a crazy look on her face, because he chuckled, mentioning that she looked like she liked the idea. ‘Free room and board’ was the clincher this time. Sure, she’d have to move, but it sounded like it was worth it. A smaller town would also be great for a small business, in case she was no longer needed for roof work. "Almost too good to be true, but what other choice do I have?"
”Okay, you lured me in. When… when do you need me there?” She couldn’t believe what she was doing. Leaving the city to work for a complete stranger and live in some new town she never heard of usually would have gone against every bit of good judgment she had.
”You’re up and leaving quite a bit. I think three weeks, including travel time, would be adequate. It’s only a six hour train ride, so that leaves you plenty of time.”
”Hmm... I might be able to leave in two. If you’ll leave me your address, I’ll send a letter a week before I...”
He was already levitating a quill and paper, scribbling away, a drop of ink flung from the quill tip and landing on the pavement. Waving the page around to dry the ink, he rolled it up and let the page hover in front so she could grab it. Jackie didn’t really have a place for it, so she plucked it out of the air and stuffed it in her vest. It was a little uncomfortable, but she at least she wouldn’t lose it.
”I’ll be waiting for the letter and make sure everything’s set up for you before you arrive. My wife and daughter should be pleased to meet you.”
Jackie just kind of stood there, dumbfounded. ”A wife and kid? What the hay is he thinking? How can he just trust a random stranger around his family?”
Thatcher suddenly chuckled again. She must have been making a face and spoke as if he knew fully well what she was thinking.
”Like I said, I’m a good judge of character. Besides, what reason would you have to hurt an old stallion and his family?"
"I know, but..."
"I’ll be seeing you in a few weeks, Ms. Trade.” With that, he simply trotted off towards the train station, humming to himself. Jackie still hadn’t quite come to terms with what she agreed to, but it was a steady job with no rent. Her parents might freak out, but there was no other obvious choice. She didn’t have much to pack. It might only take her three days to actually clear everything and leave. She’d have to take care of her apartment, say goodbye to her parents, and… that was actually about it. She decided to tell Rivet the news, since he would be the only one who would care, besides her parents.
Trotting along the fence back into the site, she saw him going over some blueprints with one of the workers right outside his trailer. She didn’t distract him from that, so she waited off to the side. He noticed her anyway and motioned her over.
”Everything all right?” His smile had returned. Once, she thought of what might’ve happened if she had fallen for him. Playing it in her head did nothing for her and she abandoned the idea, knowing that he would always be just a friend. Still, that genuine smile of his was endearing.
”Strangely enough, I think it is. I just got a job offer from an older stallion in a town called Ponyville."
Rivet shouted at a couple of workers that were just sitting around, then focused back on Jackie. ”Ponyville, huh? That’s quite a trip. Doing what?”
”Roofing, of all things. Says he’s getting old and needs some help, but there wasn’t anyone back home that could help him." The idea was still strange to her and she would love a second opinion. "What do you think about all this?”
Rivet thought for a moment and ended up shrugging. He was never a hard thinker. Not dumb, but he certainly didn't have a head for deep conversations.
”I think you know what you’re doing. You do, right?”
”I think so. I’m kinda desperate and it’s not like I have much here, other than you and my parents. I’m a little excited about it, too. Free room and board with a stable job? How can you ask for more than that?” She chuckled and lightly rubbed her face with her hoof. Everything was kind of building up to a sharp point, starting to affect her in multiple ways.
”When do you leave?”
”Couple of weeks. Probably not even that long. Not like I have much to pack.”
”Make sure you stop by before you leave. Gotta have one last drink and I promise you won’t have to drag me home.”
”You better not get smashed. I really don’t wanna show up for my new job a mess. I’ll stop by, don’t worry.” She sighed heavily, and then laughed for no good reason. ”I must be going crazy. Anyway, I need to get everything set up for me to leave and go visit my parents. You’ll be here?” He pointed to the incomplete building sitting in front of him and cocked his eyebrow.
”Does it look like we'll be done anytime soon? Of course, I’ll be here. And since you’re leaving, you can buy the first round.”
”Hold me to it. You know how my memory is.” She left Rivet to his work and as she left, heard him yelling again at somebody for being lazy. Shaking her head and feeling a smile creeping onto her face, she headed towards her apartment to pack and pretty much spend the rest of her time with her family. She had no need for the apartment and train tickets were cheap enough. Honestly, Jackie realized she could be out of here in two days and be more than ready. She’s been working hard though, and a small vacation would be nice.
She’d send a letter in a few days. Surely, Thatcher would be glad to have his help arrive sooner rather than later. Jackie was scared, though. She lived in the city where things were tough but she never traveled before. Jackie tried thinking of what might happen, racking her brain with all sorts of different scenarios. Then she lightly knocked herself on the noggin, telling herself the same thing she always did whenever she worried about the future.
”Just calm down. You never know, do you?’
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Oh my goodness! This is great! Really well written and nice and LONG!
I liked it but I had to thumb it down
1902164 Mind telling the author why?
It seems interesting! I only read a little bit of the beginning so far (only because I'm on a break at work). I'll be sure to favorite it so I can finish it later on!
1901843
> w < Thank you for the interest. It's not as long as one of the later chapters, but it's getting there.
1902164
I'm glad you liked it, but I'd like to know why you felt it deserved a down vote.
1903817
Thanks for sticking with it. Hopefully I'll be able to make the next few chapters better than this one. <w <
1904585 I just don't like all oc shipping stories
1905079
I guess that makes sense, being entitled to your opinion and all. May I ask why? Like, do you feel it requires a canon character to be involved in a major way, or you just don't like OC's in general?
Thanks for the watch, btw, but my next 5 chapters are still gonna be focused on these two ponies.
I cannot wait for more. Good writing and I like the ponies so far, so continue onward.
1909433
Thank you for the interest! Don't worry, I will. Plenty more in store. :3
...I've read only CH1, and this has tons of potential. I don't say that a lot, eh?
The characters developed pretty well, and so did the plot. The were one or two moments where I had to shake my head to remind myself I wasn't in Manehattan.
Other than that, I love the characters. They feel realistic; like they could exist. They're not stupid strong or anything like that.
Or are the seventh element of harmony.
In terms of grammar, practically nothing was off. Only things were a few missing or misplaced periods and commas here and there, and those are easy to fix. Here's one of 'em.
I'm no professional, and my opinions are sometimes off, so if this is... uh... informal, excuse me.
I've got some editing to do, so I'll read the rest tomorrow or so. If I'm not out of time.
Great story!
Potential is evident,
-TCV