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Chapter 3

Well, that was a failure. Just like every other time I've liked a colt.

Maybe I should just stop liking colts all together. It never ends well. Whenever I think I'm getting it right for once, I mess it all up.

The worst part is that I've ruined my relationship with Longsight, and there never was any relationship between us. We only talked once! It was all just me being hopeful.

I should stop hoping and be realistic. I'm never going to have a coltfriend. I'll probably never even have a colt as a friend.

...I wish I had friends.

I'm so lonely. Maybe that's why I want a coltfriend so badly. Maybe if I could find one colt who really likes me, it'd make up for the fact that everypony else in the world ignores me.

Twilight Sparkle was thinking these and other sad thoughts, as she watched Longsight Spellen cozy up to his marefriend, Twinkle Sprinkle. It was obvious that he liked her for more than just her name.

Wonder what it'd be like if a colt cared a lot about me...

*Bam! Bam!*

Twilight (and everypony else in the room) snapped to attention, when somepony loudly smashed their hoof against the door to the room.

"Who is it?" the homeroom teacher asked tentatively.

"Where is she?!" a voice from the hallway shouted. The pounding on the doors continued, until the two doors burst open, and an angry pony jumped in. His mane was wild, his head was covered in wounds, and he smelled strongly of cider. He let out a growl, as he scanned the room.

"This is the 'S' Homeroom, right?" he asked. "That Twilight Sparkle [bad word] should be here!"

Most of the ponies in the room looked directly at Twilight, who shrank down in her seat. She hadn't seen this wild colt in years, but unless she was mistaken, it was Thunder Prancey. Twilight let out a small shriek as his gaze settled on her.

"YOU!" he bellowed. He ran to Twilight's desk and slammed his hooves on top of it. "You ruined my life!"

"Now, see here—" the teacher began to say.

"My marefriend broke up with me today, because of your stupid brother!" Thunder said. "I can't believe you sent him after me! Well, I'm gonna send you to the hospital, you fat b—!"

Two of the stallions in the class jumped in and restrained Thunder, pulling him away from Twilight. Twilight was trembling like a leaf, under Thunder's verbal assault.

"I-I-I-I," Twilight said, her teeth chattering.

"You can't even talk," Thunder said. "You're pathetic!"

"Leave her alone!" Longsight Spellen said, sticking up for his classmate. "Shut your mouth, whoever you are! You can't just come in here and attack Twilight!"

"What, you like her?" Thunder laughed. "No! Nopony would ever like such a worthless, ugly, know-it-all loser with no friends! She—"

Thunder's tirade was cut off when Twilight got out of her seat and punched him as hard as she could.

Twilight held her head in her hooves, as she waited outside Principal Prinny's office. A college student, getting sent to the Principal's Office? Twilight probably would have died from embarrassment, if she wasn't so worried about what was going to happen to her.

Mom and Dad are going to kill me! I'll be disowned from the family! I'll become homeless and wander the streets!

Maybe I can move in with Shining Armor. "Hello, Twilight. How was your day?" "Oh, not bad, bro. I just got kicked out of school for fighting in homeroom!"

In Twilight's defense, Thunder had started the fight by breaking into the school and yelling at her. But she had been the first pony to throw a punch. Not to mention the fact that she said some pretty nasty things while beating Thunder senseless.

What's taking them so long? Twilight wondered. The secretary said that my parents have been in there for ten minutes already!

It wasn't until two minutes later that the door to the principal's office opened. "You can come in now, Twilight," Principal Prinny said.

Twilight walked inside, with all the enthusiasm of a sick sloth. When she saw the inside of the room, she froze up.

"Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked.

Princess Celestia nodded, an upset look on her face.

I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm deader than dead! Celestia's going to banish me to the moon!

"I...I thought Mom and Dad..." Twilight squeaked out.

"I normally would have asked your parents to come, but I asked the Princess instead," Principal Prinny said. "After all, she is responsible for your presence here in the school, and besides, Princess Celestia must be informed whenever we have a major disciplinary problem at her school."

Major...disciplinary...

Twilight threw herself at Princess Celestia's hooves. "Please don't expel me!" she cried. "I love going to school here! My life would be over if I got kicked out! Please don't—!"

"Twilight..."

"I'll pay double tuition! I'll work as a teacher here for the next fifty years!"

"Twilight..."

"I can restart school from the beginning! I'll go all the way back to Magic Kindergarten, even! Just don't let me—!"

"Twilight Sparkle!" Princess Celestia said, using the Royal Canterlot Voice to get Twilight's attention. Twilight immediately stopped crying and looked up, fear on every inch of her face.

"Several ponies have already told me what happened," Celestia said. "I want to hear your side of the story, before I decide what to do."

"Oh...okay," Twilight said. She gulped and got off of the floor. "Well, I was in homeroom like everypony else, when Thunder broke into the room, screaming about how he was going to hurt me."

"This is the same Thunder who made you cry the other day?" Celestia asked softly.

Twilight's face burned red hot. Why had Shining Armor mentioned that to the Princess? It made her look incredibly immature!

"Yes," Twilight said in a small voice.

"Thunder Prancey is not a student at our school," Principal Prinny said. "From what we can tell, he came here explicitly for the purposes of finding you. He claims it is because of somepony named Shanormour."

"Shining Armor," Princess Celestia corrected. "Twilight's brother. Three days ago, he and Mr. Prancey were in a fight together."

"I see," Principal Prinny said. He made a note on a piece of paper. "Please, continue, Miss Sparkle. How did you feel when Thunder entered the room?"

"Surprised?" Twilight said. "Confused? I haven't seen him in years. Not since..."

Twilight fell silent. "Yes?" Celestia asked.

"...He stood me up at Prom," Twilight said softly.

Celestia's eyebrows raised. Shining Armor hadn't mentioned that particular fact. He had just said he was defending Twilight's honor.

"So you held a grudge against him," Principal Prinny said. "And when you saw him, you became mad and attacked."

"No!" Twilight said. "That's not how it happened! I didn't want to fight anypony!"

"According to all the witnesses, Twilight was sitting in her seat the whole time, when Thunder started verbally abusing her," Celestia said. "He didn't stop, even when he was physically restrained."

"Regardless, she was the one who resorted to physical violence, not him," the principal said.

"Who was the first pony to throw a punch?" Celestia asked.

"...Me," Twilight said. She hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry."

Princess Celestia closed her eyes in thought for a moment. "I have one more question," she said at last.

"Yes?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"What brought all this up?" Celestia asked. "You say you haven't seen Thunder in years. Why would he reappear in your life, after all this time?"

Twilight's ears flattened. "This is going to sound stupid..." she said. "But...my brother and I have a double date on Friday."

"And?" Principal Prinny asked.

"And Thunder's name came up, because he was the only other pony who agreed to go out with me," Twilight said. "Now, I just wish I had never met him."

"Perfectly understandable," Princess Celestia said. "Thank you for answering our questions, Twilight. I believe I can make my decision."

"Yes?" Principal Prinny asked.

"Thunder Prancey broke into our school, for the purposes of hurting Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia said. "He went far out of his way, in order to attack her. Therefore, Twilight's actions were clearly done in self-defense, and she should not be punished for them."

"I'm not being expelled?" Twilight asked, jumping to her hooves.

"Ridiculous!" Principal Prinny said. "She was fighting in homeroom! Such actions must be punished, no matter what the circumstances are!"

"Twilight Sparkle is the victim here," Princess Celestia said. "Thunder has a history of hurting her. I will not allow her to suffer any further."

"Thank you! Thank you!" Twilight said. She threw herself at the Princess' hooves again. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"This is against school policy!" Prinny said. "Brawling on school property is punishable by expulsion!"

Princess Celestia leaned down to Twilight. "You can go back to class now, Twilight," she said. "Principal Prinny and I have some things to discuss. We'll talk later, okay?"

Twilight nodded enthusiastically and sprinted from the room, before Principal Prinny could override the Princess' decision. Cheering could be heard from the hallway, as Celestia shut the door behind Twilight.

The Principal immediately turned on his employer and sovereign. "You're bending the rules for your personal favorite again!" he said. "I won't allow it!"

"As usual, you are being unfairly biased against Twilight," Princess Celestia said. "I think this situation completely disproves what you said on Friday."

"What are you talking about?" Prinny asked.

Celestia smiled. "Twilight Sparkle can deal with stallions after all," she said.

Seven miles away from the school, Shining Armor was having a lunch date with his marefriend, Fleur de Lis. Some of his friends said that he was only dating her for her looks, but that wasn't true. Shining honestly liked Fleur, even if he felt she was a little clingy, and so he did not hesitate to ask her for help with planning the double date.

"Twilight wants to come along with us on Friday," Shining Armor explained. "But I don't know anypony she could go with. Could you find a date for her?"

"Oui!" Fleur said. "A date with you, and a chance to meet your family? It sounds magnifique!"

"This is Twilight's first date," Shining Armor said. "So that means—"

Fleur giggled slightly. "First date?" she asked. "Twilight is a young one, yes?"

"Not really," Shining said. "Twilight is legally an adult now, but...ah, that doesn't matter. Just make sure it's somepony nice, okay? Twilight is nervous, and we don't want to frighten her."

"I have the perfect pony in mind," Fleur said. She kissed Shining Armor on the lips. "You are such a considerate brother."

"And you are such a beautiful marefriend," Shining said.

The two of them alternated between complimenting and kissing each other, doing the sort of mushy, romantic thing which terrified Twilight Sparkle (and made her slightly jealous, too). Eventually, to the relief of everypony nearby, Shining had to leave Fleur and return to his job.

When Shining told Twilight that Fleur would take care of everything, Twilight was very glad to have it confirmed that all of the pressure of asking somepony would be taken off of her. She wisely decided not to tell her brother about the fight in school that day.

Twenty minutes later, Princess Celestia arrived at the castle for her lunch date. She was meeting with her favorite niece, Princess Cadance.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Princess Celestia said. "There was an emergency at the academy."

"I understand," Cadance said. "What happened?"

"Do you remember Twilight Sparkle?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Of course!" Cadance said happily. "She was my favorite foal to sit for! I haven't seen her in years, though. How is she?"

"She got in trouble today, for punching somepony at her school," Celestia said.

Cadance gasped. "Not my innocent little Twilight!" she said.

Celestia laughed. "She's all grown up now," she said. "Grown up and giving black eyes to stallions."

"What happened?" Cadance asked.

"It's a long story, from what I can tell," Celestia said. "Apparently, somepony stood Twilight up at Prom five years ago."

"That's horrible!" Princess Cadance said. An angry look covered her face, as she flared her wings. "As the Princess of Love, I can say that—"

"Calm yourself, Cadance," Celestia said. "I'm not finished yet."

"Of course," Princess Cadance said, settling down. "I...I can't believe somepony would do that to Twilight! She was such a darling little foal!"

"Shining Armor had much the same reaction as you did," Celestia said. "When he learned about it, he went straight to the colt's house and beat him senseless."

"Oh, dear," Cadance said. She had always liked Shining Armor, but that sounded far too violent for her tastes. "That doesn't sound like him at all."

"Shining apparently gets very upset when somepony makes his sister cry," Celestia said. "And by all accounts, Thunder Prancey is a very bad pony. Today, he broke into the school, intent on getting revenge by beating up Twilight."

"That's terrible," Cadance said. "What happened?"

"Twilight stood her ground and fought back," Celestia said. "Principal Prinny wanted to expel her, but I convinced him otherwise. She was clearly acting in self-defense."

"I see..." Cadance said. She let out a breath. "Wow. Sounds like Twilight sure got over her shyness problem. I remember when she refused to talk to the other fillies, because she was scared."

Celestia frowned. "Twilight still has problems dealing with other ponies," she said.

"Of course she does, if she's getting into fights," Cadance said. "I just meant, it's a surprise to learn she's grown up and having colt problems." The pink princess smiled. "Maybe I could give her some romantic advice!"

"Hmmm..." Celestia said, rubbing her chin. "Not a bad idea..."

Cadance's smile disappeared. "That was a joke, Aunt Celestia," she said.

"I know, but still," Celestia said. "It's something to keep in mind. She apparently has an important date this week."

Twilight Sparkle spent the next days, wondering what her first date would be like. Shining Armor said it would be a simple dinner date, at a nice restaurant. Twilight spent a good deal of time, thinking about what might happen.

After the date, she would spend even more time, wondering how things went wrong. Eventually, she decided that the horrendous disaster was all Fleur's fault. Fleur de Lis was not a smart pony to begin with, in Twilight's opinion, and there was a minor language barrier, because she came from another country.

Still, Twilight decided, she should have understood basic pronoun construction!

Twilight had a point. Fleur's grasp of English would shortly result in problems, as Fleur strolled through town, humming to herself.

"So, Twilight needs a date," Fleur said. "Twilight...Twilight...that is a boy's name, non? I will find nice mare for him."

Fleur didn't know too many ponies in Canterlot, but she knew a unicorn named Trixie Lulamoon. Trixie had a penchant for magic, and Fleur figured that she was a perfect match for Shining Armor's scholarly little brother. Fleur asked Trixie if she wanted to go on a blind date that Friday.

Trixie said yes, with a minor caveat. Trixie was currently working as a stage magician, and she had a show to perform that night, opening for a comedian named Zach Galicenokis. The show would be done at six, so they could pick her up then and go out to dinner afterwards.

"Matchmaking is so much fun!" Fleur said (although she said it in French). "Love will be in bloom, when Twilight sweeps Trixie off her feet!"

Author's Note:

Educational fact: the galiceno is a type of horse, native to Mexico.

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