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Chapter 4

That Friday, shortly before six, Fleur, Shining Armor and Twilight all walked into the lobby of the Golden Dome Theater. Shining Armor was wearing a snazzy-looking suit and tie, which went fabulously with Fleur's sparkling sequined dress.

Twilight was somewhat jealous of the supermodel's outfit, to be honest. It made Twilight's outfit look rather bad by comparison. Twilight didn't have any special clothes for going out with other ponies, as the fanciest place she ever visited was Pony Joe's. So she was stuck wearing the only dress she owned: a small purple piece which she got from her grandmother, three years ago. To be honest, it looked more like a sports jersey than an actual dress.

"Here we are!" Fleur said happily.

"This isn't a restaurant..." Twilight said quietly. She was a bit unsure how to act around Fleur, to be honest. How do you treat your big brother's marefriend?

"Zis is where we will pick up your date!" Fleur said. "During the intermission."

"Who is he?" Twilight asked.

"You'll recognize your date by the moon-shaped cutie mark," Fleur promised.

The three unicorns opened the doors and peeked into the main theater, just in time to catch the end of the show.

"And for her final trick, the Great Trixie will lift a forty-pound barbell!" a loud voice said.

The light blue unicorn onstage used her magic to lift up a barbell. There was applause from one or two ponies in the audience.

"Not impressive enough? Well, what if instead of forty pounds, it weighed forty tons?" the Great Trixie said. She used her magic to turn the barbell into a large elephant. She still managed to keep the elephant up in the air, and she moved it all over the crowd.

Everypony was impressed with this, and they applauded loudly, as Trixie bowed, threw her hat to the audience, then left the stage.

"Let's hear it for the Great Trixie!" an announcer said, coming onstage. "And now, we're going to have a brief, ten minute intermission, before the real show starts. Feel free to get some drinks or walk around—"

Most of the ponies in the audience got up to go to the lobby. Fleur and Shining went to the lobby to get a drink, while Twilight stayed by the door. She watched all the ponies pass her by, looking for a stallion with a moon-shaped cutie mark. As time passed, the lavender unicorn's back legs started twitching in nervousness, but she managed to keep a fake smile on her face.

Four minutes after the show ended, Trixie left the backstage area and came to the lobby doors. Her cape had been exchanged for a form-fitting, dark blue cocktail dress.

"Excuse me," Trixie said to Twilight Sparkle. "You're blocking the doorway!"

"Oops, sorry," Twilight said, as she stepped aside. "I was just looking for—hey, you're the magician who was onstage!"

"That's right," Trixie said. "I am the Great Trixie, magician extraordinaire! I trust you enjoyed the performance?"

"I only saw the last trick, where you turned the barbell into a hollow elephant," Twilight said.

Trixie's eyes widened. Somepony saw through her trick? "What?" she asked. "How did you—?"

"That was a pretty clever way to make ponies think you were lifting something heavy," Twilight said. "How'd you think of that?"

"I—a magician never reveals her secrets!" Trixie said.

"Don't worry," Twilight said. "Your secret's safe with me. Besides, I don't think anypony else noticed."

Trixie scowled and stomped a hoof on the ground. "Oh, who cares?" Trixie said, irritated. "You didn't come here for my magic show. You probably came to see the comedian, didn't you?"

"Nope! I'm on a date!" Twilight said proudly.

"My sympathies to your date, then," Trixie said. "He must be a very unlucky stallion. As it turns out, though, I have a date as well, and I can't miss it because of magical nitpickers like you."

"Uh...okay..." Twilight said meekly. "Sorry for bothering you."

Twilight stayed by the doorway, but nopony else came nearby. After waiting a few more minutes, Twilight frowned and went back to the lobby, in case her date was waiting there. To Twilight's surprise, Fleur and Shining Armor were talking with Trixie.

"Ah, here he is now!" Fleur said, as Twilight approached.

Trixie took one look at Twilight, then turned back to Fleur. "I don't see him anywhere."

Shining Armor paled. "Wait, Fleur..." he said. "Are you saying that—?"

Fleur grabbed Twilight's hoof and pulled her towards Trixie. "Twilight, meet Trixie. She's your date for tonight!"

"Whaaaaaat?" Twilight and Trixie shouted.

"Twilight is your date!" Fleur said.

"But she—I—" Trixie stammered.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Shining asked.

"I can't date her! We're both mares!" Twilight said.

Fleur looked surprised. "You're a mare?" she asked. "But Twilight is a boy's name!"

"No it's not!" Twilight said.

"But you have boyish bangs," Fleur said. "And that hoofball jersey you're wearing..."

"It's a dress!" Twilight said hotly. Trixie snickered a bit at this, causing Twilight to glare at her.

Shining Armor was rubbing his forehead. "Fleur, I can assure you that my sister Twilight is definitely a mare."

"Oh," Fleur said. "I'm sorry. I thought...I thought I was supposed to get a date for your brother."

"Ah, jeez..." Shining Armor said. "Of all the ridiculous..."

Fleur rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled apologetically. "Sorry?" she said.

"I don't believe this!" Trixie said.

Twilight let out a huge sigh. Great. My first date is over, before it even started. Just like at Prom. Why did I expect that tonight would be anything other than a disaster?

"I...I guess I'll just go home..." Twilight said sadly. "You and Fleur can go on to the restaurant without us."

"What? Oh, no you don't!" Trixie said.

"Huh?" Twilight asked.

"You are not backing out of this date that easily!" Trixie hissed.

Twilight's face flushed red, as Trixie pulled her aside a few feet, out of hearing distance of the other two unicorns.

"You...want to date me?" Twilight asked, her voice little more than a squeak. "But...I don't like mares...in that way..."

"Me, neither," Trixie said. "I like stallions. In fact, I've probably had more coltfriends than you can count."

Twilight wasn't sure if she should be relieved, jealous or offended. She settled for being confused. "Then, why do you want to—?"

"I was promised a free meal, at one of my favorite restaurants," Trixie said. "I've been looking forward to this for days! You're not going to cheat me out of it!"

"Wait...you want to date me, so you can get free food?" Twilight asked.

"If there's no date, we don't eat," Trixie said. "You don't want us to starve, do you?"

"Trixie, was it?" Twilight asked. Trixie nodded in response. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this. This was going to be my first date ever, and—"

"How old are you?" Trixie asked.

Twilight's face flushed again. "That's not important—" she said.

"Look, it's not like this is a date date," Trixie said. "We're just...two friends, having a meal together."

"But five minutes ago, you were yelling at me for figuring out your magic trick," Twilight said, nodding her head towards the doors to the theater.

"Pah, ancient history by now," Trixie said, dismissively waving her hoof. "Are you going to help or not?"

"Well...I am hungry..." Twilight said. And no matter what, it would be interesting for her to see her brother and Fleur interact together. That'd give her an idea of how normal ponies acted when they were on dates.

"Perfect!" Trixie said. She turned towards Shining Armor and Fleur. "Let's go to the restaurant!" she said happily.

At that exact moment, Princess Celestia was in Ponyville's main square. Most of the town's residents showed up for this meeting.

"I am pleased to present her royal highness, Princess Celestia!" Mayor Mare said. "And with her is the pony in charge of the Summer Sun Celebration, her personal student, Twilight Sparkle!"

Everypony clapped for the Princess, except for the ponies who bowed to her.

"Hello, everypony," Princess Celestia said. "It's nice to see you all, but I'm afraid that there has been a minor mistake. Twilight Sparkle is not here with me tonight."

"She isn't?" Mayor Mare asked. "Where is she?"

"She...she is on a date tonight," Princess Celestia said. Needless to say, the monarch had been overjoyed when she first heard that Twilight Sparkle had a date with a colt, despite her inability to deal with colts.

"And she couldn't cancel the date to her job?" Mayor Mare asked critically.

The crowd starting to giggle softly.

"I didn't ask her to," Princess Celestia said. "The truth is, I think this is her first date ever."

The crowd's giggling subsided, except for a certain pink pony. She burst into loud laughter, after hearing about Twilight's first date.

"Pinkie Pie, do you have something to say?" the mayor asked, sternly.

Pinkie didn't seem to be paying attention, so Applejack hit her lightly on the side.

"Hey! Applejack!" Pinkie Pie said. "That hurt—!"

"Applejack?" the mayor asked.

"Oh, um, Applejack and I volunteer to help with the party!" Pinkie Pie said. "I can throw the party, and Applejack can provide the food!"

"I don't think—" the mayor began to say.

"That sounds like a fine idea," Princess Celestia said. "I'm sure you will do a good job with this year's Summer Sun Celebration. Thank you very much for volunteering. Do we have anypony who will volunteer to help with decorations?"

The meeting went on, and Princess Celestia helped pick out the ponies who would help with the event. She only picked mares around the age of Twilight Sparkle. More importantly, she picked mares who seemed to embody the Elements of Harmony.

Nopony seemed to object to the princess' selections, except when she picked Fluttershy to be in charge of music. The mayor didn't think a shy pony like Fluttershy could do a good job, but the princess insisted. If Celestia was correct—and of course, she was—Fluttershy could easily wield the Element of Kindness.

This is perfect, Princess Celestia thought to herself, as she went back to Canterlot. Twilight Sparkle will spend the next six months, working with those mares. They'll become good friends in that time, and their friendship will be powerful enough to let them save my sister from Nightmare Moon!

...I wonder how her date went?

Trixie and Twilight, were sitting next to each other in a booth. Twilight was against the wall, while Trixie had the aisle seat. On the other side of the table were Shining Armor and Fleur. The two of them were making kissy faces at each other and giggling.

"I don't believe this..." Twilight moaned.

Trixie looked at their boothmates in disgust. "Me, neither," she said. "I wish they'd stop. Other ponies are starting to stare."

Twilight cast a glance at the other ponies in the restaurant. The only pony looking at the group was a pink unicorn from across the room. Something about the pony seemed familiar to Twilight, but from this distance, Twilight wasn't sure why.

Of course, if Twilight had gotten much closer to the pink pony, she would have instantly recognized her. It was Princess Cadance.

I still can't believe Aunt Celestia convinced me to come here and spy on Twilight... Princess Cadance thought to herself. Oh well. At least the food is good.

Twilight shook her head and refocused her attention on the conversation.

"Of course, ponies are always staring at the Great Trixie," Trixie said. "I am a fabulous magician, after all."

Twilight thought to herself. The books she read said that one of the keys to a good date was to talk about things you and your partner had in common. A discussion about magic seemed like the perfect conversation starter with Trixie.

"I'm pretty good at magic, too," Twilight said proudly. "I've been the valedictorian at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, five years in a row."

"Nerd!" Trixie said, pretending to cough into her napkin.

Twilight's face fell. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"Nothing," Trixie said quickly. "So tell me, Study Bug. You said this was your first date ever? That's hard to believe."

Twilight frowned. She had the distinct impression Trixie was making a fool out of her.

"Unlike you, the Great Trixie is no stranger to dating," Trixie said. "I have had many handsome coltfriends during my life!"

"Then why did you agree to go on a blind date tonight?" Twilight asked.

Trixie coughed in midair, and her eyes bulged out slightly.

"Are you okay?" Twilight asked.

"...I'm fine," Trixie said, gaining her composure. "I...I just got out of a bad relationship, okay?"

"Oh," Twilight said. "I'm sorry. Did he break up with you, because you talk about yourself too much? It's kind of annoying."

Trixie raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "You really don't know how to deal with other ponies, do you?" she asked.

"...Not really..." Twilight admitted. "But...you can help me, right?"

"I'm a magician, not a miracle worker," Trixie said. "Ask your brother for help."

Twilight gestured towards her brother and Fleur. The two of them were giggling like fillies, while sword-fighting with their horns.

"On second thought, maybe not," Trixie said. She sighed. "Okay, if this was a real date, the colt would probably..."

For the next ten minutes, Trixie gave Twilight some dating tips. The first one was about complimenting your date. After Twilight wrote that down in her notebook, Trixie explained why you shouldn't bring a pen and paper with you on a date, so you can take notes. Twilight didn't understand the reasoning behind that, but she wrote it down anyway.

All in all, Twilight thought things were going rather well, considering the minor gender mishap. Things quickly went downhill about two minutes after the food was delivered, though. A screaming stallion that nopony wanted to see interrupted the date.

"TRIXIIIIIIIIIE!" he cried.

"Oh, no," Trixie said, turning pale.

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"It's my ex-coltfriend," Trixie said.

A somewhat-drunken pony blundered through the restaurant, coming to the booth were Trixie was. "Trixie, come back!" he said.

Twilight gasped, as she recognized this pony. "Thunder Prancey?!" Twilight asked.

Shining Armor slammed his hooves on the table in front of him. "What's he doing here?" he asked.

"You know him?" Trixie asked.

"Baby, you gotta take me back!" Thunder said. "I miss you!"

"Thunder, I dumped you on Sunday!" Trixie said. "Get over it!"

"NO! I'll never move on!" Thunder said. "I love you Triiiiiixie! And you..."

Thunder blinked, as he noticed Twilight Sparkle. An evil frown crossed his face. "Is that Twilight?" he asked. "What's that dumb [bad word] doing here?"

"Don't talk about my date like that!" Trixie said.

"DATE?" Thunder asked, almost falling over.

By this point, most of the ponies in the restaurant had noticed the disturbance Thunder was creating. First among these was Princess Cadance. She stood up straight, sensing that she was needed.

"A fight between two ponies who love each other?" Cadance wondered. "Well, I can't let that ruin everypony's evening!"

Cadance charged up her famous love magic, which causes ponies to realize their love for reach other. A heart came out of her horn and floated towards the booth with Twilight and the other unicorns. The heart landed right on target, hitting both Trixie and Thunder .

"I looooove you," Thunder moaned.

"Don't listen to him," Twilight said, grabbing Trixie's shoulder. "He's a jerk!"

Trixie turned to look at Twilight. Trixie's pupils disappeared, and they were replaced with large pink hearts, as she stared at Twilight.

"Trixie?" Twilight asked hesitantly, as Trixie let loose with a stupid-looking smile.

"You are beautiful," Trixie said, gazing into Twilight's eyes.

"Uh..." Twilight said.

"Kiss me," Trixie said. She puckered her lips and leaned forward towards Twilight.

"AAAAAA!" Twilight screamed. She threw her water in Trixie's face as a distraction, then climbed on the table. Food splattered in all directions as Twilight jumped off the table and onto the floor.

Trixie dived and caught Twilight's tail. "You're not getting away that easily, my love!" she said.

"HEEELP!" Twilight screamed, trying her hardest to run away. She managed to get loose, but Trixie immediately gave chase.

"Trixie!" Thunder shouted, chasing after Trixie. The three of them began a wild chase throughout the restaurant.

Oh, crud, Princess Cadance thought. Unless she was mistaken, she just made the situation ten times worse. She instantly threw an anti-love spell towards the area with Twilight and the others. Unfortunately, the spell completely missed Trixie and Thunder; instead, it landed on Shining Armor and Fleur.

"Twiley!" Shining Armor said, getting up.

"Your sister ruined my dress!" Fleur said.

"I have to help her!" Shining Armor said. "Could you please get out of the way?"

"No!" Fleur said. "Zis dress cost me—"

"That doesn't matter right now!" Shining said. At that moment, nothing mattered to Shining Armor, besides fulfilling his duty as a big brother. "My sister—"

"I don't care about your stupid sister!" Fleur said. "She ruined my dress, and—"

"Twilight is not stupid!" Shining Armor said. "At least she knows the difference between colts and mares!"

Fleur slapped Shining Armor. "You ungrateful jerk!" she said. "We're through! I'm breaking up with you!"

"Fine!" Shining Armor said. "I never wanted to date such a selfish pony anyway! Now let me through!"

Shining shoved his way past Fleur and onto the ground. He quickly joined the chase, made up of his sister and the two love-struck unicorns.

Shining tackled Thunder Prancey, holding him down. Thunder squirmed around, trying to get loose. Shining flipped him over and knocked him unconscious, with a quick blow to a pressure point near the back of the neck.

Shining Armor smiled. His training as part of the Royal Guard came in handy sometimes.

"Shining, HELP!" Twilight cried. Exhausted by the chase, Twilight could run no more. She was cornered by Trixie and was now sporting fresh lipstick stains on her cheeks.

"Kiss me back, dearie," Trixie said. "I want to feel your great and powerful lips against mine."

"No! No! NO!" Twilight said.

"I'll help you!" Shining said. He jumped over a table and cast a shield spell at the area between Trixie and Twilight. The two mares both shrieked as they were flung in opposite directions.

Shining wasted no time in getting to his sister. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Not really," Twilight said. "This is the worst date—"

By this time, Trixie was back on her hooves. "Marry me!" she shouted, running towards Twilight and Shining Armor.

"RUN FOR IT!" Shining Armor said. "I'll cover your retreat!"

Twilight bolted for the exit, as Shining Armor protectively put himself in between Twilight and Trixie. He and Trixie leapt at each other, at the same time.

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