The Hostess

by Gaekub

Chapter 10

A bolt of lighting split the air, illuminating the pouring rain. Trees bent under the pressure of the gale-force storm, branches snapping from the stress. In the exact center of the storms wrath, a strange serpentine creature stood on a hill top, flanked by a pair of ponies.

“Your reign is over Discord!” shouted the white alicorn that stood, horn at the ready, to his left.

“No more will ponies have to bend to your chaotic whims!” yelled her slightly smaller sister, standing in a similar position to his right.

The draconequis between them laughed out loud, glancing from one sister to the other with mocking eyes. “Now now, Luna, Celestia, we’ve been over this. You can’t defeat me. You just don’t have the raw power. How many times do I have to beat you before that lesson penetrates your thick pony skulls?”

“We’ll never give up! Not as long as ponies suffer under your rule!” shouted the younger Luna, voice full of defiance.

Discord studied her eyes, brow furrowing in short-lived interest. “You really won’t, will you? You’re going to keep fighting me until either you win, or you die.” He chuckled, and shrugged his shoulders so hard they momentarily detached from his body. “Fine by me. I look forward to our little tussles. Now, what shall I turn you into this time? Have we done squirrels yet? Or how about ducks?”

“It will be different this time” said Celestia in a calm, low voice that was barely audible over the storm. “We’ve found the Elements of Harmony, and we will use their power to trap you in stone forever.” As she spoke, three elements rose from her and three from her sister, the six magical stones circling around the sister’s horns. “This is the day of your undoing, Discord!” she finished, voice rising to a shout.

Discord sighed heavily. “Oh, so you found those dreary old gems, did you? I suppose I won’t be able to hold back this time then.” He set his legs comically far apart and summoned a small ball of chaotic energy into his eagle claw. A thought seemed to occur to him, and he grinned widely.

“Turn me to stone, you say?” he asked, flipping the ball of energy between his talons as if it was a coin. “Well, I really only have one thing to say to that…” He reached behind his slender back and pulled out a pair of large black sunglasses. Placing them on his nose, he grinned at them both. “Let’s rock!” he declared, far too entertained by his own joke.

If the three hadn’t been so preoccupied by their conflict, one of them probably would have noticed the blue box slowly phasing in on a nearby hill top.

When the box had fully materialized, a brown earth pony stuck his head out just in time to nearly be hit by a withering bolt of solar energy. The errant ray hit the earth two feet from the box, blowing a perfectly semi-circular crater in the turf.

The brown pony scraped the mud from the side of his face while staring up at the three titans battling in the stormy sky. They flew and collided in a deadly dance that tore up the landscape around them.

“Well” announced the earth pony to nopony in particular. “That’s definitely not right.”

Without another word, he retreated into his blue box, which promptly phased out of existence with a loud grating noise.

Moments later, the hill was hit by an orb of chaos and turned into an equal volume of squirrels.

---

Three ponies – one purple, one pink, and one brown – crept through metal hallways. They had managed to evade detection so far by listening carefully and quietly scampering out of the way of any approaching hoofsteps.

The Hostess examined a series of signs, written in a language neither Twilight nor John had ever seen before. She turned to the other two and whispered “we’re almost at the control room. This way.” She headed down an adjoining hall as quietly as she could, the other two trailing behind her.

They stopped a few minutes later at a door that looked identical to the many they had already passed. “Alright. This is it. Now, if we are very, very lucky, it’ll be between shifts and nopony will be in there” the Hostess said as quietly as she could.

All three of them took a deep breath, and the Hostess reached up to the control panel next to the door. She bit her lip and shot a quick prayer to whatever god is in charge of Time Mares.

She opened the door.

Thirteen Falaxaporians turned to look directly at her.

She closed the door.

“Damnit” she announced flatly, before turning away and running towards John and Twilight, who were already halfway towards the nearest corner. She had barely cleared the door when it slid open and four snarling aliens leaped through, slamming into the wall behind her.

“Alright!” she shouted when she had caught up with her friends. “Plan B! We run around in a circle, and go in through another door into the now empty control room!”

“You three! Go guard the control room!” yelled a voice behind her.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled that” Twilight pointed out.

“Yes, thank you Ms. Sparkle, I realize that now.”

“So what’s plan C?” asked John, already beginning to pant.

“Does running count as a plan?” The Hostess grinned at him.

---

Granny Smith slowly rocked back and forth and considered her next move. The thing she had trapped under her cooking supplies had stopped trying to talk to her, and neither Macintosh nor Applejack had return to the kitchen yet. That was worrying.

She sighed with relief when she heard the scampering of small hooves. Applebloom ran in to the kitchen from the front hall. “Granny, Gra-“ she was shouting, but stopped dead with a gasp when she saw the thing trapped under the pots and pans.

“It’s alright lil’ un’. He’s trapped, can’t hurt anypony now” Granny reassured as she turned in her chair. “Oh, yer bleedin’! Come here and let Granny take a look at it.”

Applebloom skirted around the glowering Falaxaporian and hopped up on her grandmother’s lap. “One of ‘em bit me, but Big Mac got ‘im.”

“Oh, you’ll be fine. Ain’t nothin’ but a flesh wound. You’ll be missin’ a tip o’ yer ear, but that’s alright. It’ll add character to yer face” Granny said after examining the bleeding ear. “Now where’s yer brother?”

Applebloom opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off by a low voice. “Here” said Big Macintosh as he walked into the kitchen, his hooves still covered in green gunk. He noted the trapped Falaxaporian and snorted.

“Red one, there you are. Let me go and we’ll see what-“ the monster started before being interrupted.

“Applebloom, look away” ordered Big Mac in a voice filled with uncharacteristic anger as he walked towards the prisoner.

“What? No, what are you… No!” cried the terrified alien, his last words ones of confusion and denial.

---

The Hostess looked left: Falaxaporians. She looked right: Falaxaporians. Directly ahead: Falaxaporians. “We’re trapped” she announced.

“No, really?” asked Twilight sarcastically, managing to blast the closest assailant back a few feet with an effort of will. They had learned a healthy respect for her horn, but producing that kind of brute force was tiring. She had already nearly killed John and subdued a raging dragon today, and hadn't eaten nearly enough. She couldn’t hold them off for much longer.

The screwdriver whined, and an electrical panel near the right group of aliens violently, making them backpedal from the shower of sparks it issued. “Hey Hostess” he mumbled around the screwdriver. “Why haven they killed ush yet?”

“That’s what they’re trying to do!” shouted Twilight, forcing the last few iotas of power she had left through her horn.

“Well, no, they’re not” replied John, maneuvering the screwdriver into the side of his mouth so he could speak more clearly. “You told me about that weird energy thing they fired at Spike. They haven’t done anything like that at us, they’ve just… ran at us.”

“OH!” shouted the Hostess, startling both the other ponies. “I’m so stupid! They want me! They need me! Alive!”

“Why?” asked Twilight.

“Don’t know, but they do. That’s the whole reason they’re here! They followed me! That’s why they haven’t killed us! They need me, and they can’t risk firing at you and hitting me.” She paused. "Alright, here's what you need to do. You need to keep trying to contact your princess. They need me, I'll be fine."

"Hostess, what..." Twilight's voice died in her throat.

"Alright, here's the deal" the Hostess yelled, turning to the closest group. "You escort us to the exit, and they leave. Then I'll come with you quietly."

The group of aliens turned too look at a particular Falaxaporian, who was staring at the group with what could have been a thoughtful expression.

Twilight opened and closed her mouth soundlessly.

"Hostess, you don't have to do this" whispered John, walking up next to her.

"Yes, John, I do. Your princess is now our only hope, and she won't know anything's wrong unless you two tell her. This is the only way to stop them."

"Your offer is accepted. You will come this way" replied the thoughtful Falaxaporian, presumably the leader. The monsters turned as a group and walked down one of the metal hallways. The three ponies followed, every route of escape blocked by a grinning alien.

Before long, they arrived at the familiar exterior door. "Say goodbye to your pets, Hostess" hissed one of their escorts.

The Hostess grinned and said a quick goodbye. Between her teeth, she muttered "remember. I'll be fine. Find a way past the field."

Her friends nodded and forced themselves to leave her. They pushed out through the fake-wooden door and squinted in the sunlight.

“…Now what?” asked John after a few seconds of silence.

“We do what the Hostess said. I’m going back to the library to recharge my magic and see if I can bypass this field, whatever it is.”

“Yeah” John murmured. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”

Twilight opened her mouth to reassure him, and then closed it. She looked at the ground “I don’t know” she finally answered.

---

Big Mac finished dragging the body out to the barn to be kept with the other and trotted back to the kitchen. He ignored the withering look Granny was shooting at him. “Is she alright?” he asked.

“She will be fine” replied the elderly pony, emphasizing the ‘she’ pointedly.

“Where’s Applejack?” asked the large red pony, glancing around the kitchen.

Granny blinked in surprise. “She ain’t with you? I ain’t seen her since she went to answer to door.”

Big Macintosh would have turned white, if he was the kind of pony that turned white. As it was, his jaw tensed, and his pupils contracted slightly.

“She’s in trouble, isn’t she?” asked Granny softly.

Big Mac nodded, his teeth grating together quietly.

“Go help her. Me an’ the lil’ un’ will be fine. We’ll lock the doors, and not let anypony but you in. Sound good?”

Big Macintosh thought for a few seconds, and then nodded. His grandmother beckoned for him to lean down, and he did so. She kissed him on the top of his head. “You’re a good stallion Macintosh. Your father would be proud.”

The huge red pony nodded with a slight smile, and galloped from the house.

“C’mon sprout! We’re gonna go play upstairs” said Granny, heaving herself from her chair and creaking towards the stairs.

---

“Mmm, little tighter” said the Hostess in a thoughtful tone, addressing the Falaxaporian binding her legs to the steel table. “I think there’s still a little give.”

Her captor growled and heaved on the centre strap, driving the air from her lungs.

“Alright, I asked for that” she muttered, out of breath. “Hey!” she called, after recovering her wind. “Leader guy.”

“My name is Dahy’v” replied the one who had accepted the deal earlier, not looking up from its control panel.

“Alright, Dahy’v. Why so much effort spent to get me? You’ve got a whole planet here, ripe for the plucking, and yet you focus on me. Why?”

“You are a Time Lord.”

“Time Mare, actually, but same difference. Why does that matter? I mean, we’re great and all, I’m not denying that, but we’re not lucky charms or anything. And if you think I’m going to work for you, you are sorely mistaken. Very sorely.”

“The Time Lords hold the power of regeneration” explained Dahy’v in a patient voice.

“So? It’s not like a piece of knowledge you can torture out of me, it’s a part… a part of our biology…” she trailed off.

“Ah, and the penny drops” said Dahy’v, grinning as he turned to face her.

“You’re true shape shifters. You get the abilities of your host. Including regeneration” the Hostess responded, mind racing.

“Exactly. Think of the possibilities!”

“A horde of unkillable, endless parasites. A universe-wide swarm of locusts.”

“Oh, locust? Is that how you think of us? You wound me Hostess, you really do.” It chuckled. “But yes, you’re right. We shall be immortal, and my race shall rule the universe, as it should be. All will bow before the Falaxaporians, and the Falaxaporians will bow before me, the discoverer of our greatest weapon.”

---

“Alright, try it now Spike” ordered Twilight. The dragon ignited the letter with a sigh, and belched the same scroll a few seconds later. Twilight muttered and made a note on her parchment, taking a bite of a sandwich as she did so.

John sighed and looked back down to the book that had been left out on the table, most likely by Fluttershy. John had heard people talk about the animal loving pegasus, but had never actually seen her. He had actually begun to think she was an urban legend.

As such, he was a little disappointed when all he ended up seeing of her was the tip of a fleeing pink tail. Twilight had assured him that she avoided everypony she didn’t know, but he couldn’t help but be a little annoyed. It would have been nice to meet another pony who had ended up with a talent that usually fell to another race.

He sighed through his nostrils and tried to read. The combination of Twilight’s incessant testing and his worry for the Hostess made that a nearly impossible task, but he eventually managed to block out the distractions.

He was jolted out of his literary trance less than five minutes later, when a knocking on the library door made the whole place rattle.

“John, could you tell whoever that is that the library is closed?” Twilight asked, checking her math.

John grumbled, but got up and trotted to the door. Before he could make it, the pony knocked again, even louder. “Just wait a second, I’m coming” he called, pulling open the door. “The library is- Big Mac?”

“John. Ms. Sparkle” said Big Mac, even in such an emergency speaking slowly and calmly. “They have Applejack.”

---

“So you’re going to steal the secret of regeneration and rule over the entire universe as an immortal master race” confirmed the Hostess, still strapped securely to a table.

“That about covers it, yes” rasped Dahy’v, turning away from her to fiddle at a terminal.

“Well there’s just one fatal flaw with that plan” said the Hostess, confidence obvious in her voice.

Dahy’v glanced over its shoulder at her. “And what would that be?”

“Ohh, I don’t think I’ll spoil the surprise. You’ll find out soon enough” she answered, and then chuckled.

“I think you’re bluffing.”

“Think whatever you want.”

The conversation (which was rapidly devolving into bickering) was interrupted when a Falaxaporian with a very proud look burst in with an unconscious Applejack draped across its back. “I got her! I got the orange…” it trailed off as it noticed the pink captive. “Oh. Guess we don’t really need this one anymore, do we.”

The leader sighed into a misshapen hoof and pointed to an empty table. “Strap her there. We’ll execute her later.”

“Wow, good control of your minions, master of the universe. What, did you forget to radio them?” said the Hostess sarcastically as the unconscious Applejack was strapped down next to her.

“You be quiet. There will be more no interruptions.” No sooner had the words left Dahy’v’s toothy mouth when a loud bang resonated through the control room. “What is it now!?” it shouted, exasperated, as the sound rang out again.

“Err… you’re not going to like it” answered a Falaxaporian who was studying a monitor. “There’s some ponies outside.”

“What are they doing?”

The alien squinted at the screen. “They’re… knocking?”

---

“That door” said Twilight, pointing Big Mac towards the door under cupcake corner they had that had so recently appeared. The Hostess might have been confident in her own safety, but Applejack had no similar protection. There was no reason to assume she was safe, and so after giving Spike instructions to continue trying to send the letter, they had headed back down to Cupcake Corner.

John trotted up to the door and pressed the screwdriver against the lock. The characteristic buzzing rang out, but suddenly replaced by a ringing alarm. He flicked it a panel on it open with a jerk of his head and looked at the small readout on the side, his eyes crossing uncomfortably.

“Dang it. It’s deadlock sealed” he announced.

“What does that mean?” asked Twilight.

“No idea. I just read it off here. But the screwdriver can’t open it, they’ve shut us out.”

Big Mac walked slowly up next to John and shouldered him out of the way, pointing his massive hindquarters at the door. He set his front legs and bucked as hard as he could at the door. A huge metallic clang filled the air, but the door didn’t budge.

“Big Mac, you can’t just…” Twilight began, but was interrupted when he kicked again. This time, he slid half a foot forwards on his front hooves, but the door still didn’t budge.

“You won’t be able to kick it down Big Mac. It’s too strong.” John placed a hoof on his shoulder, but Big Mac shook it off with an angry snort.

“What about you Ms. Sparkle? Mah sister says you have powerful magic” the red pony asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

“No, I can’t. This is Tarsonium, the more magic I apply, the stronger it’ll get” Twilight said, exasperated. “If only I had something to channel it through, something that could turn it into physical… force…” she trailed off, staring at Big Mac. A slow smile overtook her features.

“Twilight, what are you thinking?” asked John, worried by the mad glint in her eye.

“Big Mac, you would be willing to do anything to save your sister, yes? Including subjecting yourself to a dangerous, untested magical experiment?” she asked.

“Ee-yup.”

---

“Applejack” whispered the Hostess, doing her best not to alert the token guard that had been left at the door. All the rest had gone to see about the front door, making this her perfect chance to escape.

“Applejack!” she whispered slightly louder, inwardly rejoicing when the orange pony’s eyelids fluttered.

“Pinkie, is that you? Oof, mah head is killing me…” she muttered.

“Shh shh shh” hushed the pink pony. “Don’t talk, we need to be quiet. Can you reach the bag next to you?”

“Uhh… what? Oh, yeah, I suppose so” murmered Applejack, still drowsy. She reached out with her neck, teeth grazing the strap of the Hostess’s saddle bag.

“Just a little farther. Please” pleaded the Hostess quietly.

“Yeah, alright, just let me… darn it!” Applejack grabbed the bag and pulled, but it slipped from her lips and spilled its contents on the floor, causing her to shout out in annoyance.

The guard glanced over at them, but saw nothing wrong. “Quiet down over there!” it shouted for good measure.

The Hostess didn’t even notice the reprimand, her attention focused on the small green reptile that had fallen from her bag and was now waddling across the floor. She didn’t know what she expected Gummy to do, but he was really her last hope now.

Applejack’s head lolled back into unconsciousness as Gummy slowly waddled across the floor. After a few agonizing feet, his snout bumped into something metal. He had hit the case of a computer, a few inches from some exposed wiring that had evidently been under recent repair.

Gummy examined the wiring with a cock-eyed gaze. He had never seen electrical wires before, but luckily he had a protocol in place for things he had never seen before. He attempted to eat them.

The first few bites yielded nothing but dust, but a jerk of the head created an exciting crackle and revealed some appetizing new orangey metallic bits. Vigor renewed, Gummy’s toothless jaws shut down on the exposed copper.

“Gummy!” the Hostess yelled as he bit down on the wires and went completely rigid.

“What the-” cried the guard, but was interrupted by a very localized explosion inside a computer case, from which erupted a surprised looking alligator. The reptile bounced off a wall before landing on the pink captive’s stomach, causing her to grunt.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you” murmered the Hostess, smiling at the apparently unharmed alligator that was now trying to eat her stomach strap with little success.

“You little-“ muttered the Falaxaporian angrily, advancing on the two, before a voice behind it made it turn on its heel.

“Files damaged. Restarting to avoid corruption” the computer intoned flatly.

“No no no no…” muttered the guard, alligator forgotten, running over and frantically slapping at the keys.

“Good boy” whispered the Hostess, before twisting her body and managing to deposit Gummy under a table and out of the way. Her friends had come knocking, and she had damaged their computer. Things were looking up.

---

“Alright, ready Big Mac?” asked Twilight, getting a nod in response.

“Is this at all safe?” asked John nervously, standing off to the side.

“Well, in theory, it should be perfectly safe. Healthy even.” Twilight grinned nervously. “In reality, I have no idea. This has never been tried before” she admitted, before turning her mind to the spell before her.

It wasn’t even technically a spell, not really. Modern magic theory said that all ponies had some magic. Unicorns used it for telekinesis and spells, but earth ponies used in a more subtle way. It made them stronger, tougher, and enhanced their connection with the earth.

So, in theory, she should be able to pour magic into Big Mac in the same way she’d bolster another unicorn’s spell, and it should make him stronger. It wasn’t a spell, she was just pushing more power through the pathways he already had.

That was the theory. In actuality, she might just make his heart explode.

She shook her head and pushed those thoughts away. This was not a time for doubt. She carefully lowered her horn, and sent out the first cautious tendril of magic. To her relief, she felt Big Mac accept it, and a sudden intake of breath showed that he could feel it. She pushed a little more, and then said “alright, try it now.”

Big Mac raised his hooves and slammed them backwards into the door. The sound was louder, but other than that, nothing seemed to change. “Nothing” he told Twilight.

Twilight steeled her mind and shoved even more magic through her horn. “Alright, again.”

Big Mac took a deep breath, trying to ignore the strange feeling creeping through his nerves, and kicked back as hard as he could. He slid forwards nearly a foot, but when he looked back, the door had buckled slightly. “More, if you can” he said, resetting himself.

Had Twilight know the door had buckled, she would have given him just slightly more. As it was, with her eyes closed, she thought the second kick had been in vain as well. She grit her teeth, gathered her strength, and forced every ounce of power she had into the red pony.

Big Mac felt the sudden rush of power, and his eyes snapped wide open. He could feel it; he could feel the entire planet underneath his hooves. He could tell it was round, contrary to what his teachers had taught him, but that didn’t particularly concern him. What did concern him was how he could use the connection for his own means.

He dug his front hooves into the ground, reaching into it and pulling instinctively, and it split as plants erupted through the packed earth. First grass, then flowers, then a few small trees burst through, wrapping themselves around his legs and anchoring him to the ground. His back legs raised into the air and kicked back into the door, splitting the air with a whistling sound.

The Tarsonium crumpled under his force, and the entire door flew off its hinges and into the darkness beyond the door. As quickly as it had come, Big Mac felt the magic and the connection with the earth flow away, and the trees relaxed around his forelegs. He realized he was sweating heavily and panting.

Twilight was doing much the same, and looked up at him, her tongue lolling out. “…Good job” she said, after a few seconds of trying and failing to think of something appropriate to the situation. She smiled at him.

“Err… we going inside?” asked John, reminding the two exhausted ponies of their purpose here. All three trotted in through the ruined door, and directly into a waiting circle of Falaxaporians.

“Well done. I’d just like to thank you for announcing yourself very loudly, giving us time to get in position, and then exhausting yourself before coming in our front door. Very thoughtful of you” said Dahy'v in an overly grateful tone.

---

“How’s the computer?” asked the Hostess.

“Shut up” hissed the Falaxaporian pecking desperately at the keyboard in front of it.

The door slid open, and Dahy’v walked back through, followed by the rest of the aliens carrying three bound ponies. “What is going on in here?” it asked.

“Dingus over there broke your computer” answered the Hostess, groaning internally at her captured friends.

“No it- a small green reptile ripped out some of the wires” protested the unfortunate minion. “I’ve rebooted, and the only thing damaged was the AI. We can still scan the Time Lord, we’ll just need to control it manually.”

The leader growled under its breath at the lackey. “Fine” it muttered. “That is fine. Let’s just do it before anything else can happen.”

The three ponies were dumped unceremoniously at the Hostess’s feet as her captors began hooking an array of wires up to the pink pony’s head. As the last wire was attached, she looked down at the ponies below her. “I’m sorry you three. Looks like I wasn’t quite smart enough” she whispered.

“It’s alright Hostess. They’ve just got Ponyville now. As soon as they try to leave, Celestia will stop them” Twilight whispered back.

“Er… no, actually. As soon as they scan me, they’ll become an unkillable scourge on the universe.”

“Oh” said Twilight.

“Oh” said John.

“Indeed” said the Hostess.

“Quiet over there!” snapped Dahy’v. It walked over to the Hostess, giving Big Mac a kick in the ribs along the way. “If I were you, I’d ready myself for the scan. I’ve been told it’s quite painful.” It smiled. “Press the button.”

The Hostess’s teeth ground together as her entire body went rigid. Power and memories coursed through her mind as
the electrodes burst into life. Her mind and body began to download into the massive databanks below the complex, mixing with the others already in there.

Her name was Bon-Bon, and she didn’t understand why Lyra couldn’t see what was going on. Ponies would talk, how could she be so oblivious? Her name was Lyra, and why did Bon-Bon care so much? It shouldn’t matter what other ponies said. Her name was Macintosh, and all she had left was her sisters. Nopony was going to take them from her. Her name was BANG.

Her mind cleared of the foreign memories just in time to see a shower of sparks explode from a shattered screen. “WHAT NOW!?” screamed Dahy’v at the technician at that particular screen.

“Nothing. Just a hiccup in the data stream” said the Falaxaporian, flinching away. “We’ll be back online in just a few seconds.”

“We better be…” growled the leader, moments before the power went out and the room was plunged into darkness. Silence and blackness ruled supreme for a few moments, before every screen in the room began glowing a soft pink. The monitors glowed brighter and brighter, turning from a gentle illumination to a nearly retina scaring fluorescent shade.

Anypony who could still stand to look at the computers saw the pink split and open vertically, revealing an enormous baby blue eye. The eye looked from side to side before focusing on Dayh'v. The speakers placed around the room crackled into life.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?”

Comments

[Xenotype]

Thank Celestia for Gummy and Pinky.

Also Big Mac is a cool stallion, eh kills Falaxaporians and doesn't afraid of anything.

[Shpoople96]

Pinkie; The destroyer of logic.

[Bridgebrain]

Oh God the powers of Pinkie! I knew she was the solution, but this is the possible way for it to have happened :D

[Tech_Priest]

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?”
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9qa249Vj41qe4shjo1_400.jpg

[MrWhatnow]

in the words of the 10th Doctor, "WHAT?"