Just kill me now...
“Jenny! Don’t stare at people, it’s rude. Now tell the raver chick you’re sorry.” The Mother scolded her.
I snorted.
“Sorry miss!” The small girl said earnestly.
“Umm, that’s okay?” Rarity ended in a question.
“I must ask though, where do you get your hair dye? It looks so natural and I’ve tried everything with my hair but it simply won’t look like I want it to.” The Mother asked.
“Well I don’t—”
“Here! She gets her dye here.” I interrupted, smiling unconvincingly.
“Really? Then what brand?” The Mother pressed.
“Brand?” Rarity blinked.
“Lorele.” I answered quickly, spotting something of that brand in the other woman’s cart.
“Oh…well…thanks for the advice?” She said to me or Rarity before pushing her cart off. I let out a sigh of relief.
“What was that about?” Rarity questioned eyes boring into me.
“Um, well I don’t think that you should – how to put it – help people in this world like you do in yours. We humans are kind of…well we’re crazy.” I grinned honestly but her glare only intensified.
“So, you’re saying that I can’t be who I really am.” She said as a statement rather than a question.
“What? No I’m not saying that.” I sighed, frustrated that she was taking things the wrong way. Not that I’m the smoothest conversationalist in the world.
“Asher, I’m a lady. I’m quite more intelligent than you give me credit for and I think I have more knowledge about fashionibility and practicality in my little hoof-finger-whatever it is than you have in your whole body.” She snapped.
Great. A little spat would certainly take this shopping trip to the next level of hell that I was missing all my life. But as I was about to say something to the contrary right there in the middle of the store we were interrupted by my neighbor. My great big holy Moses he is a redneck how is it possible this man can even move or speak neighbor. But he was also the man that bought all that acreage from me all those years ago and on top of that he is a genuinely nice man. Just…well…
“YEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWW ASH! Wach’a doin’ here?” He called from across the store, and I think that explains the rest.
“Bill!” I called back, feigning joy, “Thought you were holed up for the winter.”
He laughed jovially – I swear I can hear that out the thirty some acres between our back yards during the summer – and gave me a manly thwack on the back as joined Rarity and I. He knows I hate that. Like most who were out and about he wore large winter clothes, including a furry cap that covered his bald head.
“Yes well, unexpected things and such. You know how it goes.” He answered, stroking his chin in thought.
“Yes, I do.” I eyed Rarity.
Unlike myself, Bill was a fourth generation farmer and had lived on his land much longer than I had mine. Never the less when I…well…my wife and I had bought my current house he was a huge help in getting us setup with the equipment we needed and helping us survive that first winter.
“What IS that on your head?” Rarity exclaimed. Right, she was still here.
“Speaking of the unexpected.” I segued my way into it, wrapping an arm around Rarity’s shoulders and hoping she would play along.
“My cousin whom I haven’t seen since I was a child came to visit for a while as a vacation of sorts.” I said and gave the indigo haired woman a poignant look.
“Err – yes. Yes! That’s right! I’m on a long sabbatical from my normal line of work – apparently – and thought it might be nice to get out into the countryside and escape the overbearing stress of city life.” She said and I felt both impressed and scared that she could lie so easily to a perfect stranger.
“Oh? Where’s that accent you have from then…have ya spent time in England?” Bill asked and Rarity glanced to me to see my eyes nod in the affirmative, which was how she answered.
“HAH! I knew it!” He laughed loudly and slapped his own leg, “had a second or third cousin from there, forget what his name is. Eh, not important. So what’cha doing here again, Asher?”
“Having two people in the house threw off my supply plan for the winter.” I said, “And she needs fabric to make some more clothes since her own were…lost by baggage claim.”
“You make your own clothes?” The round man asked Rarity.
“Yes, where I’m from I am a fashionista, and designer.” She said and Bill laughed again, for some reason.
“How about that, a regular ol’ Tyra banks right here in Dillon. Lord knows I need the help.” He laughed loudly again and with each increasing decibel I felt more and more….stabby.
“Who is Tyra Banks?” Rarity questioned.
“I dunno, wife likes her TV program though – I think she’s into fashion or models or something – pretty thing but her show seems kind of pointless.” Bill mused.
“In that case I shall repeat my query from a moment ago, what is that monstrosity on your head supposed to be, a hat or a bad mane – hair – piece? And goodness your clothes are just…well just leave it at ‘just’ and I’ll ask: do you need help shopping?” Rarity caught herself talking in what I had dubbed ‘Equestrian’ but I didn’t think Bill noticed.
“I haven’t had a mane since I was a teenager, young lady, but if you’re offering to help me pick out some clothes I’m in need of new ones, and the wife gave me a budget.” Oh no. Please lord above no. I could see where this was going and—
“Of COURSE I’ll help you! The clothing here is sub-standard but for your line of work we should be able to find something that will work. Come with me!” Starry eyed, Rarity took the Bill’s hand and led him into the men’s section, leaving the shopping cart she was pushing – mostly full of perishable foods – abandoned just in front of me.
“Fifteen minutes and I’m leaving you here!” I called after Rarity and grumpily pushed both the carts by running the one I had into the back of the other, which worked for about five feet until the cart formally piloted by Rarity veered off course and into clothing rack full of overly 'fabulous' skirts. I thought that appropriate.
Eventually I was able to finagle both carts to a line in front of a cash register and began unloading my load onto the conveyer belt. Now, the men’s section was just a ways behind where the register was which gave me a good view of Bill and Rarity’s excellent adventure as she attempted to find something that, from the sounds of it, was fabulous but functional for the old man. Best of luck, girlfriend. I turned my attention back to the cashier who looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was, but was doing a good job in spite of the fact.
“W-w-what?! Oh no! No, no, no, noooo!” I heard from across the store and glanced at the cashier, who from the full carts had guessed that I could go retrieve my woman and come back and he still wouldn’t be half done ringing it all through. He gave me a small nod and I ran back towards the clothing section.
Once I arrived at the dressing rooms area I found Rarity fainted on the waiting bench, Bill (holding an uncountable number of shirts), and a standard Montana redneck in winter garb. Ripped puffy coat, flannel shirt, torn jeans and old work boots, this man even had a mullet and beard.
“The feck is wrong with her?” He asked, and my ears immediately got warm.
“She’s umm…” I struggled to think of a way to explain it and settled with a half truth, “She’s part of the fashion scene where she’s from.”
“Little dramatic fer these parts don’t ya think?” The man asked.
“Yeah…a little.” I admitted and the man shrugged and walked off.
Bill laughed again and I swear I felt my eye twitch. What was a normal shopping trip was quickly devolving into something that would probably end with the neighbors never letting me hear the end of it, and I was going to do everything in my power to prevent that from happening.
“THE HORROR!” Rarity cried as she quickly was brought to her feet. “The absolute horror of it all!”
“He was just dressed different, you know.” I observed.
“What?! Different does not necessarily mean better mister Merediem, and you should know since your average wardrobe boarders between utilitarian and unwearable!” She shouted, getting the attention of the clothing section in general.
“Rarity, we have things at the checkout, we need to go.” I pleaded as other customers stared on.
“But I can’t let this continue, Ash, I can’t let these crimes against fashion go unchecked!” she countered.
“Really?” I asked, deadpanned.
“Yes! You should have seen it! The clashing colors, the holes in the jacket and pants, the mane…”
Rarity grabbed the front of my shirt and cried, “He was wearing FLANNEL!”
“Rarity—“
“Of all the horrible fabrics in all the world, it was flannel. It had to be flannel!” She carried on.
“Rarity—“
“No, Ash! You don’t understand, this isn’t something we can let go! That poor man is running about the world dressed in that…that…that rubbish! It’s a crime against fashion!” She whined.
“Rarity, there’s lots of people that dress funny ‘round here, you’ve been here a few weeks, you should know this by now.” I sighed, exasperated.
“But…but…Flannel!” She complained.
“Look, I know it’s a far cry from what you’re used to but can you please keep it together for a few more minutes until we get to the car. I promise once we get home you can tell me all about how the big bad flannel was going eat your soul.” I said in a scolding tone and Rarity huffed, her eyes shooting invisible magical lasers through me as they narrowed but at least she was being quiet.
“Ash.” Bill said and dropped the pile of shirts where he stood with a soft thud, “I’ll call you later, need to talk to you about property lines.”
“What? What’s wrong with the property lines?” I blinked.
“Nothing, I’m just curious if you’d like to buy some of the land back is all. Son’s moving out and going to college so I won’t have the manpower I used to.” He explained.
“But I – you – the deed – I just—” I said through gritted teeth.
“Don’t need an answer now, just food for thought.” He laughed.
“Alright, see ya later.” I sighed and took Rarity by the wrist, all but dragging her with me.
Ears still feeling a tad warm for my taste, Rarity and I made our way back to the check stand where the brave little employee had just finished running all our things through, paid, and loaded everything onto the truck. She was silent as I guided the large vehicle back onto the interstate and towards home but the expression on her face said more than any words ever could, making the silence in the cab of my truck palpable. But what I couldn’t figure out was what the sam-hill she had to be upset about since she was the one that had decided to kidnap my neighbor, and start waltzing around Wal-Mart of all places having small conniption fits over bad fashion. If anything I saved her from a coronary.
But that apparently wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t fashionable to not stop people in the middle of their day to let them know that they are committing crimes against fashion. No sir. Apparently where she’s from its normal to try to ruin the average Joe’s day while attempting to drag them around the clothing department throwing clothes at them to try on. But in her eyes I apparently was the one in the wrong since she was giving me the silent treatment, not that I minded since she could talk incessantly. But the closer we got to home the thicker the atmosphere in the cab felt and as I pulled into the drive and stopped it felt as though I was waiting for a bomb to land near me and there was no good cover nearby.
“I cannot believe you!” The indigo haired woman exclaimed.
Kaboom.
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It felt...fast. There was so much happening and it felt like not enough words were used.
Also, not a single mention of her hair? Based on the ending of the last chapter, I thought it was supposed to be a big deal.
2261873
Yeah as an author I thought those things too. The hair thing was a part I honestly forgot to include, that shall be edited once I get home and have the time to tonight.
The cost of writing in a new style, I guess. Thanks for the feedback.
Dude let rarity back inside man. Dont brake my heart.
A pony in the real world as a human ship fic starring Rarity?i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/293/590/6f6.gif
2261873 Updated it slightly to flow better with the last chapter.
I'll make a blog entry about an expansion of all the ideas in this chapter later.
welllll...deleth you know i have plenty of respect for you and your stories dood but i will have to admit that this chapter did feel quite rushed...the part at home was pretty good though. the whole wallmart scene just felt like you had a deadline and you just wanted it done. i know i've felt that way too but i still find myself up in the wee hours of the morning still typing and revising and just recently it paid off for me. any way in my opinion this was an allright chapter and you don't have to really change it if you don't want to but i do advise it...in my case i woulld probaby do as a sketch artist does. anyway i'm sorry if i said anything that ofends you okay? please don't hate me
2262487
haha I don't, Read my blog for more info but the next update will a trifecta update, turning chapter six into two chapters so I can expand on both thoughts, and then adding chapter eight.
Honestly, this was just me being impatient, it shall be corrected on the next update in two weeks-ish to give me time to add all the writing I want in there.
No worries, I got this!
You 'don't like cliffhangers' my butt! That, my good man, is a cliffhanger!
Meh, I can't be mad. I love me a good cliffhanger! Anyway, while there were certainly parts that felt rushed,
as well as a few errors with run on sentences and misspelled words (flannel, two n's!), I definitely liked the chapter as a whole. It's a great story, with fantastic writing, and you should really be proud of yourself so far!
I see where this is coming.. Maybe Ash will be sorry and then go find Rares in the dark of the night and then they will live happily ever after.. LOL
2261913 I just put it down to him not knowing that such a thing as weirdly coloured hair dye is a thing. And that it's not uncommon. Sure, some people would stare, but no one is going to go out of their way to accost them about why she has purple hair.
Overall, yeah, it felt a bit fast, but it's honestly not bad enough to need an overhaul in my opinion. As usual though, Rarity needs to die in a fire. Although, that's my suggestion for solving any problem post season 2.
2265200 Thanks for the feedback! It won't be an overhaul as much as an expansion on the ideas that already exist in the chapter by splitting it into two separate ones to give myself the room I needed to do what I originally was wanting.
scary freakout
omg i cant wait for the next part i must have it!!!
Thanks for the comments and help, everypony. 7 should be comming soon.
Shut it, flannel shirts are awesome. (This only proves me being a redneck)
Ooo- She used the, "I cannot believe you." line. Ash is in trouble now. I think poor Rarity's head would explode if she saw the girls who pluck out their eye brows and then paint them back on, or wear those giant hoop earrings.
5759102 Can you imagine Rarity showing up in the 90's when EVERYONE wore flannel?
6218096
By Nylon's thread! 
HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD???
......wow..... I may have been thinking what she would might say, but that last sentence seemed to show my reflection.