Mealtime For Ponies

by Aetherlord_Ignus

Spike (co-op with Twilight)

“Hey, Twilight, it’s me,” you call as you knock on the door on the top of the School for Gifted Unicorns library. The doorknob immediately glows purple and turns, the door swings open.

“Oh, hi sitter,” says Twilight, “It’s a little early for Spike’s bath time.”

“You said you wanted me to help you with feeding him during your finals week, right?” You ask.

The young unicorn thinks for a second or two before pulling a comically large scroll off her desk (Which is covered with books, notes and flash-cards). She unravels the scroll down to the floor and stops halfway down the middle.

“Oh, right,” she said, “I have that written down right here. Forgive me; I have a lot on my mind.”

“Quite all right,” you say as you walk through the door.

You help Twilight prepare Spikes highchair, she then calls for Spike. The baby Dragon waddles into the kitchen. Upon seeing you, Spike thinks he has to take a bath and tries to run away. Twilight pulls him back with her magic and brings him to her eye-level. She reassures him that he is not going to have to take a bath. The two of you seat him in his high-chair and place the bib around his neck. Spike looks around from his chair and tries to rock back a forth for a few seconds. He looks very cute, which is probably the cause of the following events.

You bring yourself to eye-level with Spike and say, “How’s my little dragon today, are you ready for lunchies now?” You pinch his cheek.

“Wait, don’t do that!” yells Twilight.

Before you can say anything, Spike puffs a tiny blast of fire at you, causing you to jump backwards and trip over a pile of books. When you stand back up, Twilight hands you another comically long list.

“Spike doesn’t like having his cheeks pinched, I learned that the hard way. Anyways, this list explains everything you need to know about feeding Spike as well as a checklist for all your supplies.”

It takes you about half an hour to read over Twilight’s notes; mostly because she insisted that you double-checked and then triple-check the checklist.

When you finish studying, you wake up Spike, who had dozed off during the study session, and place a bowl of alfalfa on his plate. You’re not sure why a dragon would eat alfalfa, but it was on the checklist and Twilight knows what she is doing. You grab some Alfalfa in a spoon and give it to Spike, who immediately rejects it.

“What’s going on,” you ask Twilight, “I thought you said he wouldn’t put up a fuss.”

“Your problem is that you’re holding the spoon at a 22 degree angle,” says Twilight knowingly, “Spike will only eat alfalfa if you hold the spoon at a 27 degree angle. Hold on, let me get a protractor.”

One awkward moment later, Twilight gives you a protractor and helps you measure the forks angle. You continue to feed Spike, trying as hard as you can not to change the angle of you fork. You are glad that Twilight did not say anything about decimals; you would probably be here all day.

You finish feeding Spike in about five minutes. Twilight hands, well, levitates a plate of what looks like a pile of dry hash-browns. She tells you that they are hay-fries; extra crispy, the way Spike likes them.

“Do I have to hold the spoon at a certain angle?” You ask.

“Of course not,” replies your purple unicorn friend, “that’s only for vegetables.”

“But isn’t grass a vegetable,” you say.

“Well, grass is a vegetable according to the definition of non-sentient life, but in the culinary sciences, grass is an herb, I learned that from somepony. I can’t remember who?”

“Zecora?” You clamp your mouth shut. You just broke one of the three rules of time travel; do not bring anypony back on their personal time line, do not interfere with major events and fixed points in time, and never reference an event of a pony’s life before it has happened to them.

“I don’t know anypony named Zecora,” says Twilight thinking.

You decide it is best to not say anything more and you place the hay-fries onto Spike’s tray table. Spike eats it quickly and ravenously, but he only manages to eat off the top seeing that he is in a high-chair. The purple dragon tries to reach downwards and tips the chair forward, luckily you catch him.

“Let me help you with that,” you laugh as you lift the hay fries closer to Spike’s mouth.

Spike gorges on the fries in about a minute, shortest time you have ever fed any pony or dragon something, so far that is. Spike has just enough room for dessert, a small plate of gemstones. You wonder why gemstones are so common, and why they can be dug up from the ground pre-polished, but you remind yourself that you are a time-traveller who babysits talking, magical ponies, so you guess that you do not need to ask these questions. You spoon the gems over to Spike, who eats them happily, somehow crunching them with his two only teeth. The happy-camper finishes his expensive dessert in 2 minutes.

Now that lunch time is over, you remove Spike’s bib and let him out of his high-chair, he waddles over to a book-fort and hides inside of it.

“That’s his cave,” says Twilight, giggling, “it has his nest, made of hay and a small pile of bits, he used to have gems too, for about a minute, until he ate them.”

“He was able to wait that long,” you laugh, “well I’ll be going now. I’ll be back in a couple of hours for Spikes bath.”

Upon hearing the word bath, spike digs his claws into the straw floor of his book-cave and scowls at you, exhaling small clouds of black smoke.

“Well, good luck with that.” says Twilight as she carefully uses her magic to pry Spike’s claws out of the floor, “Bye now,”

“Bye,” you say as you step outside.

Back on board your time-machine, you check your schedule. Trixie is next, you should get there soon, technically you have all the time in the world, since your time machine allows you to handle multiple jobs at once, but your boss does not agree. To satisfy your employer, it would be best to add another job to your list. You look toward your computer.

“Oh well, an hour of Minecraft won’t hurt”

Comments

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

3049490 I'm pretty sure they know. It's all part of the business of intercrhonal foalsitting.

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

3050980 By accident.

[AverageBrony]

3051225 It isn't right.

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

3052934 But the cutie mark crusaders, they aren't lookin' for a fight.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Trixie eh? Don't forget to give her peanut butter crackers (see Equestria Girls if you're wondering what I'm referring to.)

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

3069191 I know. And I am ready. Plenty of peanut butter crackers

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3071078 And pinecones.

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

3071335 Because she won't grow up to be great and powerful unless she eats them.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3078398 Indeed.

[the one guy on the left]

How did the whole pinecone thing get started anyway?