Marcus 657

by John 117

Chapter 22- The Battle for Equestria Begins

Uze’ Kenzu, Ship Master of The World on Fire, looked on to the scene with gleaming eyes. His ship had regained full capacity last night, and the ship had begun its steady campaign to the nearest city of the people of this world. They had watched the city with eager eyes. Those that inhabited it were not the same as those who they had fought before. They were much more colorful, and in the eyes of the Elites of The World on Fire were abominations towards their gods. They prepared for holy genocide; enacting the holy rights on their bothers and saying final prayers. The gods were on their side, and no amount of demons or humans could stop them now.

“Not with the amount that they have anyways,” smirked the Ship Master. His scouts had found a demon far away from this city, but only one. He had sent a holy zealot team to eradicate the foul being. They had not yet returned, but this did not bother Kenzu in the slightest. If they had failed, so be it. The demon would come, and they would burn it, along with everything else on this world. Now his ship hovered over the pathetic city, spreading its soldiers out among its inhabitants. The Ship Master was pleased, until of course, some rather unexpected news came his way.

“Ship Master, my humble apologies, but sensors picked up an anomaly outside of the city. Further scans indicate a warp in space. It disappeared, but was replaced with the demon we found earlier. It would appear our brothers failed us in that matter.” The Ship Master gripped his chair more firmly; his anger was rising. He had not expected the demon to show up so quickly.

“Why was I not informed sooner of this?” the lieutenant bowed curtly, and began to speak once more, only to be silenced.

“I care not. See to it that a division of soldiers is sent out to destroy it.” Kenzu waved his hand to silence any other words, and the Elite was silent once more. He bowed, and began to bark orders to his brothers, some running towards the hangar while others continued to work at their stations. Demons were notoriously stubborn when it came to dying. Especially the one the humans call Master Chief. The Ship Master shook his head, remembering the grim encounter he had with the super soldier. His touched his face lightly, tracing the gashes on his face from the combat knife wound. I will have my revenge for that wound, demon.

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Marcus stood up from the smoking ground, shaking his head. He closed his mouth tight, trying to keep what food he had in his stomach in it. Note to self: never travel by teleportation again. He looked around at his surroundings, and saw the city to his right. It was a large, city with towering skyscrapers. Metal spires reached far into the evening skyline, casting shadows over the lands around it. In some ways, it reminded Marcus of old Earth buildings from the 21st century. The sun was coming down behind the city in an eerie but beautiful glow. The sight would have been magical, if not for the fact that the city itself burned, with a Covenant cruiser hanging over it. Damn. Marcus unslung his rifle from his back, and began the march towards the city. He only had one mag left, so he needed to be careful. He jogged down the hill, towards the outskirts of the city. Some ponies had already made it out, and were running for their lives. As soon as they saw him they stopped. They stared in awe at the towering soldier; their savior. But they didn't know it, they thought he was another one of the monsters from the ship. Many stopped dead in their tracks, too afraid at the sight of him. Those who could still move ran for it. Ignoring them, Marcus checked his radar and saw that it was picking up at least 20 contacts moving to him. His slung his assault rifle back on his back, and took out his two plasma rifles that he had taken from the dead Zealots.

He took cover behind a wagon, activating his cloaking, and waited for the enemy to get closer. Closer, ever so closer they came, until finally one or two Grunts passed Marcus’ hiding spot. Waiting till a few for more passed; Marcus unleashed hell upon his foes. Jumping out into the open, Marcus fired blindly, striking 3 Grunts and a Jackal dead. Marcus tossed out a plasma grenade, and dove for cover. The grenade went off with a loud “Whaump* and 3 more Jackals fell dead. Marcus ran out from his cover, but soon ducked back down again, attacking fire from an enraged Elite minor. Marcus put away his plasma rifles and took out his magnum and energy sword. Holding the gun in his right hand, and the sword in the other, Marcus charged the Elite. Firing off 5 rounds, Marcus swung up with the sword; a large gash formed on the Elite’s chest, and out forth spewed blue ichor. The Elite fell to the ground, clutching its chest and looking up at Marcus, fear in its eyes.

“Hasta la vista, baby.” Marcus brought up the magnum to the Elite’s head and shot off a single round into the Elite. It fell to the ground, a pool of blood forming around in as if it were a black halo. Marcus looked around him. The grunts and Jackals that still lived ran, their leader dead. Good, easier for me and my ammo. Marcus put away the energy sword and magnum, taking out his plasma rifles again. He looked to his right, only to find two ponies staring back at him. They were terrified by what they saw, but confused as well. They though Marcus was one of the monsters. Stepping forward, the older of the two, a stallion with a grey coat and blue mane, walked up to Marcus.

“A-are you here to s-save us?” One of them stammered. Marcus nodded, and walked over to them. Turning on his speakers, he leaned down to them.

“The Royal Guard will be here shortly to get everyone else out. Go over that hill and wait there for their arrival.” They nodded, and ran towards the hill Marcus had just come from. Marcus walked on, moving towards the inner city.
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Everything was mass panic. Star Blazer had never been through anything like this before; being a new recruit, only coming out of basic training 6 months ago. Everything was still fresh in his head, but training didn’t prepare him for this. Ponies ran for their lives, screaming all the while. Some feel to the ground, falling to enemy fire. Smoke and gas clouded Blazers vision, and he could barely see in front of him. Those in his squadron had been tasked to evac the citizens out of South Baltimare, but as of right now, they weren’t doing too well. Already 2 squad mates had fallen, taken into the darkness of alleys and side streets, screaming for their lives as whatever waiting in the darkness took them.

Blazer was trying to get the crowd to at least run in the right direction, and he was somewhat succeeding. Those who saw him ran towards him and by his direction ran towards the hill side, where the Royal Guard Artillery 45th and 23rd companies sat ready to wreak havoc on the city once the citizens were out and safe. He was looking around, hovering over the crowd, trying to look through the smoke at something that was coming his way. It was large and stood on two legs. It wore sleek purple armor, and held out a weapon that fired what looked to be pure fire. It stormed through the crowd, kicking around ponies, firing randomly into the crowd and grinning evilly, if it could be called a grin.

Instead of a jaw line that most ponies had, it had 4 mandibles, covered in teeth. It looked up from its rampage, and its black beady eyes locked onto Star Blazer. Fear was the only emotion he knew at that moment, and yet, compelled by his duty and the look of the ponies around him, Star Blazer stood his ground. He drew his sword, holding it in a holster strapped to his right fore-hoof. The monster grinned, and began to stalk forward, drawing out a strange sword. It was blue, and hissed with energy. As it neared Star, a yell could be heard over the din of the crowd. Star looked back through the crowd, and all his fears were gone. At him ran the Spartan he had meet only hours earlier. His armor was covered in blue blood, and it held a few new burns and scars. He charged past Star, drawing his own strange sword. The two behemoths clashed, sword against sword. Their duel was legendary, and all who saw and lived that day would never forget it.

The Spartan matched it's moves, every swing that the creature threw at him, and yet the monster fought on, rage filling its body and soul. As a final stroke, Marcus twirled in the air, sword out stretched. Tripping, the monster stumbled back, and the Marcus’s sword flew through the air. The beast recovered, and threw a punch at Marcus. He took the blow, but grabbed hold of the alien by the arm, bring it closer. As he did so, he stabbed the energy sword through it's abdomen, piercing it straight through. Satisfied by the sound of gurgling coming from the Elite, Marcus with drew his sword, letting the Elite fall to the ground, clawing at him. marcus just stood there as the Elite took its final breaths. He then began to walk towards Star blazer, who hovered where he was in shock. Marcus snapped a finger in front of his eyes to get his attention.

“W-what? Who?... YOU! You just....I mean.....How did you...!” Marcus nodded , looking back at the fallen foe.

“Yes, I suppose I did. Now, what are you doing? I ordered all allies to not engage the enemy.” Marcus turned to look at Star, but couldn’t make out were the Spartans eyes were supposed to be. They were covered by a visor that only reflected his face.

“I-I, well, it was charging the civilians. I couldn’t just let them die. So I stood my ground.” Marcus shook his head.

“What you did was foolish. That was an Elite Major, and it would have torn you apart without you being able to do a single thing about it. But your bravery is noted…Star Blazer was it? Yes, it was. What is the situation on the civilians?” Star Blazer looked back at the crowd, now thinning.

“This was the last section of the city that needed to be evacuated.” The Spartan nodded.

“Round up your squadron and pull out. Get as many civilians out with you. I will stay behind and move toward the center of the city. From there I will infiltrate the enemy ship and blow it from the inside. Have Armor fire when ready, and continue the bombardment.” Star Blazer nodded, and was about to leave when he noticed something about his plan.

“How will you get out Spartan?” Marcus looked down at his feet. He knew how this would end.

“Find Fluttershy for me. Find her and tell her……Tell her I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not coming back, but I must do this. For all of you. I guess I couldn't keep my promise after all....” And with that Marcus ran into the smoke, leaving Star Blazer behind. Star knew that what he planned to do was suicide, but who else could do it? Who elsewould do it? Star Blazer turned, showing the rest of the civilians the way out of the smoke and fire.

Comments

[BronzeFog]

Oh snap, shits gonna go DOWN

[InsaneBatPony]

O.K. A couple things.

1. Look through each chapter you write, pay close attention to spelling. I've noticed you use witch instead of which. The first one is a type of person, use the other if your talking about a choice between two items and such. I don't know if its just fast typing or whatever it is you do, but sometimes words are capitalized that shouldn't be, other times you use him instead of his, I would go find examples but I don't feel like running through 24 chapters to find one.
Something that really helps with this, is reading out loud to yourself. It will allow you to hear any discrepancies in spelling or grammar.

2. Conversation. Example: "“Are they gone, Mr. Marcus?” Marcus nodded to her, beckoning for the child to come out from hiding. She did, and ran into his arms." When Applebloom asks if they're gone, say who is speaking, to clarify to the reader. My recommendation: “Are they gone, Mr. Marcus?” Applebloom asked, staring up at the Spartan. Marcus nodded to Applebloom, beckoning her into his arms. She ran into Marcus' arms at his beckon.

On to the positive,

1. The concept is O.K. because it focuses on a non-cannon Spartan, giving you practically free reign over what he is like.

2. The overall interactions are fairly different from what I've normally seen in other Halo crossovers. Their warming up to Marcus, especially Fluttershy, appeared rushed, but it worked somehow. So ,good work there I suppose.

Final comments.

Overall,

Decent story and narrative. Spelling and Grammar issues appear often, but not really enough to become annoying. I will keep an eye on this because I want to see how Marcus deals with the Covenant. I give you, 3 out of 5 as of today, 1/18/2013.

[John 117]

1981794 Thank you for the tips! I'm always eager to hear them, and I'm glad you like it so far. If you have any other suggestions I'm all ears.

[damnaion]

23# aww