I fucked up entirely at being a pre-reader so the least I can do is give you nice long comments.

You're dripping wet! Omigosh! I didn't mean it like that!

lol

Cherry once again fidgets with her hooves. "It's, well, humans."

EW BRONIES

The biscuits are dry and stale, lacking any taste, immediately getting stuck to the top of his mouth. It's the kind of combination that puts hair on your chest. He loves it.

Shades of Vimes. I like it.

"Pops, deep breaths, okay?" Cherry Pie springs up and takes a peek behind the shelves to see if they've been noticed, before returning to his side. "Seriously, most stallions that come here actually want me to tease them a bit, and to be honest, they usually buy more stuff that way."

Brings a whole new meaning to the word 'upselling'

"They did, did they?" Shining Armor asks. Nopony invited me.

You're the CO, Shiny. CO's are fun-ruiners.

"Please?" He gives the base of her tail a kiss, then takes the tail itself into his mouth and tugs at it gently. "Would you do it for me?"

All of this is very hot. I approve.

Gyaak got work more to come later

Commence read.

Cream and Cherry seemed like a nice bunch.

Was wondering where the Homo was going there. Humans man.

I was really disappointed with the way Cadance seemed to be shooting down everything coming out of that transition, but you brought it back around nicely. I was worried she was going to be a literal cockblock on his road to recovery failing in the face of her own issues.

And yet, even though she backed off, the whole couch thing still shows that she's not really given up much, if anything, which is part of the problem.

"Shining Armor feels a burning behind his eyes, but he shakes his head. Another pony now thinks he's a pervert, or an idiot, or probably both"This is so wrong. Everything's just so wrong."

Minor typo. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but let me say how impressive this all is, not only on its own, but knowing you're not a native English speaker/writer. A sincere bravo. I couldn't imagine trying to write a novel length story in German or Japanese. Especially Japanese, yeesh. Kanji are a tattoo inducing nightmare.

Looking forward to finishing up the last two chapters in 3, 2, 1... now.

You do good work, sir or Madam!

Shining Armor gawks at him.

Prooooobably meant "her".

Anyway, onwards!

Great Catherine suspension rigs

This reference I get it, although if it's a real thing, then I don't.

"'Pony Sutra: The Art of Making Love',
'Bonds of Trust: A Beginner's Guide to Responsible BDSM',
'A Sailor in The Bedroom: 100 Useful Knots'
'The Many Uses of A Feather'
'Stroke My Strawberry: Erotic Foods'
'501 Naughty Jokes for Private Moments...'

I think I saw what you did there

Glad to be catching up on this. Though the title of the next chapter is ominous.

"Honey & Copper's store of erotica and paraphernalia for distinguished adults."

I think the word you are looking for here is "discerning", not "distinguished".

Never mind the broken axel

Axle.

"Sorry! My bad!" Cream shouts.

Hey Cream, are you perchance related to Derpy?

Cream Pie lifts one of her eyebrows up, then shrugs. "Okies!"

There's no way she isn't related to Pinkie Pie. Maybe her and Derpy both.

Cream Pie? really? I see what you did there.

A tumbleweed rolled past by.

Either "past" or "by" is superfluous.