Therein stands the end of their journey. The Holy City for the weary pilgrims, the oasis for the parched. Never before were such words of beauty written on a glittery pink canvas with golden letters as "Honey & Copper's store of erotica and paraphernalia for discerning adults."
Never mind the broken axle on Cadance and Shining Armor's cart, that forced them to walk the last few blocks to their destination. Never mind it happened right in front of a kindergarten, from which poured forth a torrent of foals eager to greet the royal couple. Nevermind Cadance lost one of her shoes while she played with the foals and the duo subsequently ended up looking for it after the foals went to play inside. Never mind the pouts of the foals' faces as they would have wanted to play more, but the teacher was adamant that it was no weather to be outside, what with the driving sleet storm and all. Never mind Shining Armor slipped on his face on the sleet-covered ice and hurting, in rapid succession, his chin, his already aching side, and as an afterthought, his pride.
Never mind all of that. They were here! They might be soggy and freezing, with manes clinging limply to their faces, with Cadance carrying her thrown shoe in her teeth, and Shining Armor nursing his battered jaw. Despite all of it, the undisputed fact was that they were here, and that they were simultaneously sat at the furthest possible point in the multiverse from the realm of 'romantic and happy'.
Cadance brushes some of her limp mane from her eyes, but it immediately falls back down. She drops the shoe from her mouth with a dull clank. "Why don't we just go home?"
Shining Armor works his jaw a few times to see if it still works. "Want to walk through that weather until we find a taxi?"
"Nnngh."
He pulls the door open. "Come on, at least it'll be warm inside."
Cadance takes one look over his shoulder at the grey streets of the early winter Canterlot and steps in without another word.
Passing a threshold is know to be a magical occurrence. The ancient people of Romane even had a guardian spirit for such moments in life. Despite his unfortunate name, he was a celebrated being, described as looking both forward and back at the same time, always stood on the moment of change. He symbolised the end of the old, yet the beginning of something new. One step can change a pony forever. Thus it was for Shining Armor as well: The one step he takes whisks him off to another dimension, from the dreary grey and stone into the realm of pink and fluffy. The tiny jingle of a bell finalises his transition, and the portal behind him closes.
A blur of cream and white was about Cadance and him immediately. "Omigosh, are you okay? Wait, I know you two! You're dripping wet! Omigosh! I didn't mean it like that! Are you hurt? I'll go get you a towel or something." As quickly as it set upon them, the blur disappears through a door behind a counter. "Cherry! It's a royal emergency!"
Shining Armor blinks. Slowly, the room stops spinning around him. "What... just... happened?"
Cadance shakes her head in confusion as well. "It seems we have met one of their employees. Or a very strange weather phenomenon."
The door swings open again, but this time a dark pink mare with a curly white mane peeks through. "Oh, umm, hi?" The rest of the mare follows as she trots up to the royal couple. Somehow she looks very familiar to Shining Armor, but he can't quite place from where. She bows down in front of them. "Are... are you two alright? I mean, Your Royal Highnesses, that is."
Cadance leans forward and helps the mare up, giving her an encouraging smile. "No need for alarm. We were just caught in the weather."
The mare looks at both of them, her eyes slightly wide, before realisation lights in them. "You came in from the storm? So that's it."
Cadance has an acute coughing fit and looks away.
Shining Armor takes the reins, knowing exactly how Cadance must feel. "Actually, we're, umm, customers."
"Oh," the mare says. "Oh! I just, sorry, I thought that... Hold on a second." She circles behind them and drops a tiny latch on the front door, then flips the sign hanging from it to 'Closed'. "Well then, uhh, welcome to Honey and Cop—"
Before she can finish, the blur is back. Shining Armor has barely enough time to make out the features of a young mare before a towel lands on his face.
"Omigosh! I'm sorry!"
"Cream, calm down!"
"Sorry!"
Shining Armor lifts the towel from his face to see the two young mares stood next to each other. The family resemblance between the two is clear now that they are side by side, and one of them isn't bouncing around. In the corner of his eye he sees Cadance drying off her mane and follows suit. He takes a moment to check out his surroundings. The shop is far larger on the inside than what it looked from the outside. Several aisles of shelves lead off to the side, and opposite them is the counter, along with a small table. Everything is covered in different shades of red and pink, almost camouflaging Cadance. A poster with two sweaty ponies on it on the wall touts 'Make Love, Not Fat! Sex + Exercise = Sexercise'.
"So, wanna—" Cream asks, before a glare from Cherry silences her.
"Would you maybe like to sit down for a moment and maybe have a cup of tea, Your Royal Highnesses?"
To Shining Armor's relief, Cadance nods. "That would be wonderful."
"On it!" Cream says, and dashes to the back room again.
"Right this way, Your Royal Highnesses" Cherry says, motioning for the small table. She does her best take on a courteous bow.
"No need for formalities. Call me Cadance, and this is my husband, Shining Armor."
Shining Armor pulls a chair for Cadance, then sits down as well. Cadance rewards him with short, damp nuzzle. They are interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of what seems to be a saucer rolling on the floor.
"Sorry! My bad!" Cream shouts.
Cherry, now seated opposite the royal couple, places a forehoof on her forehead for a moment. "Please, forgive my sister. She can be a bit enthusiastic sometimes."
"No harm done," Cadance says. "I must admit, I was expecting to meet with Miss Copper."
"Sorry. She and Honey Pot left for a big convention in Las Pegasus. They'll be gone for the rest of the week. Me and my sister are filling in for them." She pauses for a moment to look at Cadance, whose expression has gone slightly sour. "Don't get me wrong. We've worked here for a long time. Just usually in the back."
"I don't think it's about that," Shining Armor says. The expression on Cadance's face was clearly of embarrassment, nothing more.
Cadance perks up and pulls the best royal smile she can. "No, of course not. I've just met with Miss Copper before and she was very lovely."
Cherry let's out a barely audible sigh of relief. "I know what you mean. She's really sweet."
"So what's this about a convention?" Shining Armor asks.
Cherry looks to her hooves. "It's, well, I'm not sure if I should be talking about it. It's a bit weird if you ask me."
"I think we can handle it," Cadance says. Shining Armor isn't as convinced.
"Well, it's the Las Pegasus Homocon," Cherry says. "Those ponies creep me out."
The scowl on Cadance's face is something Shining Armor has gotten used to seeing all too often lately. "I don't think there is anything wrong with being attracted to a pony of the same gender," she says.
"What?" Cherry looks at them stupefied. "Oh, nonono, I have no problem with gays. I actually had a girlfriend a while back. But they call themselves 'homoamorous'. It's different."
"What do you mean?" Cadance asks, her expression somewhere between a scowl and perplexion.
Cherry once again fidgets with her hooves. "It's, well, humans."
Shining Armor and Cadance look at each other, this time in utter confusion. "Humans?" Shining Armor asks.
"Yeah. It's a thing."
Cadance shrugs, while Shining Armor shakes his head. The awkward moment is cut short as Cream returns, balancing a tray of cups, a steaming pot, and a tray of biscuits on her head. Now that she's moving at a more normal pace, Shining Armor's eyes are glued to her very shapely flanks. It's clear she does a lot of exercise, but thinking about what kind makes him suddenly feel a lot warmer.
"Here we go!" Cream says. After serving everyone tea, only spilling a bit, she plops down on the last free chair.
Shining Armor ends up with teacup that has a faded skull-and-crossbones motif on it with the word 'POISON' underneath it. A small chip is missing from the rim of the cup. The tea itself is still so hot it burns his tongue. It's a brand of cheap bag tea, stuff they sell by the dozens everywhere. Nothing like the rare blends from the other side of the world they serve at the castle. There's no Andalusian almond flowers, manuka, or even chamomile. It tastes bitter no matter how much sugar one might put into it. The biscuits are dry and stale, lacking any taste, immediately getting stuck to the top of his mouth. It's the kind of combination that puts hair on your chest. He loves it.
Cherry puts her cup down. "So let me start over. Welcome to Honey & Copper's. My name is is Cherry Pie and this is my sister Cream."
"Hi!" Cream Pie says.
Shining Armor's tries to drink his tea through his lungs. Luckily for him, Cadance doesn't catch on.
"Are you maybe related to to Pinkie Pie? She helped me plan our wedding."
"The Element of Laughter?" Cream Pie asks. "Wow, I wish! But no, there's a lot of Pies around Equestria and most of us aren't related. It's a kinda common name for bakers anyway.
"So you are... bakers?" Cadance asks politely.
"Our parents were," Cherry Pie says. "When I'm not working here I do..." she takes a glance at Cadance and her bright, smiling face. "...modeling. And my sister is, well, a dancer."
Shining Armor looks at Cherry Pie and his mind connects the dots. I knew I recognized her from somewhere. I'm having tea with Miss February.
"Those are both wonderful careers," Cadance says. She takes another calm sip of her tea. "Have I maybe seen you in a pageant, Miss Cream Pie? Which group are you with?"
Cream Pie looks at her with a raised brow and is about to speak, but Cherry Pie intervenes before the looming iceberg crashes into H.M.S. Cadance. "She's more of a solo act really. Modern dancing."
"Yeah! I'm really good on the pole!" Cream Pie says.
Cadance looks confused. "Pole?"
"Very modern," Cherry Pie says. "Are you feeling warmer? Would you like another cup?"
"No, thank you," Cadance says. She runs her towel one more time through her moist mane. "I feel like I could take on the world again."
"Great," Cherry Pie says. "So what brings you here?"
Suddenly it seems that The World is ready to take on Cadance. "Well, we, uhm, that is..." she stammers, before giving Shining Armor a pleading look.
Shining Armor tries to steel himself. "We were kinda told to come here by our, well, somepony." He glances at Cadance, who is nodding for him to continue. "You see, umm, we've been... well, ever since our... I, uhh..." His heart pounds in his chest and his mouth runs dry.
"Oh, come on," Cream Pie says. "You can tell us. We won't laugh."
Cherry Pie nods. "We hear a lot of very exotic things here, and whatever it might be, nothing leaves these four walls."
"Yup!" Cream Pie puts her forehoof onto her heart. "Filly Scout's honour!"
Despite it already being occupied, the mental image of those shapely flanks barely covered by a Filly Scout skirt is hard to push away for Shining Armor. He shakes his head a bit to clear his mind. One more look at Cadance tells him he's all on his own. "Fine. We were sent here by our therapist, Sassy Swallow. She says we need to do some trust-building stuff. In the bedroom. And, uhh, reverse our roles."
"You'd want her to boss you around?" Cream Pie asks.
Cadance makes sure to examine her teacup very intently. "The other way around," she mutters.
Cream Pie doesn't hesitate for a moment. "Can do! What did you have in mind?"
"That's why we're here," Shining Armor says. "We have no idea where to even start."
Cherry Pie gets up from her seat. "Why don't we go see what we have to offer and look for ideas together?"
"That sounds like a good idea," Cadance says.
Shining Armor nods in agreement.
"Why don't we split up for a while?" Cherry Pie asks. "If Princess Cadance comes with me and Prince Shining Armor goes with Cream we'll see what we can find and then get together to think what would work?"
"We aren't going together?" Cadance asks.
Cherry shakes her head. "We could do that, but most ponies prefer to talk one on one, even if they're a couple."
"I... see. Well, you're the professionals here," Cadance says.
"Goodie! Let's go, pops!" Cream Pie nudges Shining Armor in the side with an elbow and starts trotting for the back of the store.
"Cream! Royalty!" Cherry Pie hisses, but she seems to try and hide a grin behind a hoof at the same time.
"Yeah, yeah," Cream Pie says, not even looking back.
Shining Armor nods to Cadance and turns to follow the little fuzzball of energy. His eyes are immediately glued to Cream Pie's swaying backside. She holds her blue tail high, barely covering her naughty bits. Her buttocks look so well-toned that she could probably crack walnuts between them with a squeeze. Cream Pie turns a corner into one of the winding corridors, but Shining Armor barely notices. Little Shiny is already waking up from his hibernation and is groggily starting to look for meat.
Cream points at the inventory. "This is our Stallion's Department. See anything you like?"
"Very much," Shining Armor says, only then realising he is still staring at her rump. He turns to look away hurriedly. "Sorry."
Cream Pie walks right up to him. She has to stand on the tips of her hooves to reach his ear to whisper "It's okay. I'm used to ponies scoping out my butt." She leans back a bit, but the smell of her light perfume lingers in Shining Armor's muzzle. "Tell you what, come visit me some day and I'll give you a special private show with a lot more to see."
"I'm... I'm married," Shining Armor says. Little Shiny reminds him that it never said 'I do' and would be very interested in the offer.
"Tehee... so are most of my customers. Looking never hurt anypony." She turns around, gently stroking Shining Armor's face with her tail. "I won't tell," she adds with another giggle.
"I, uhhm, could you please... not..." Shining Armor stammers, feeling himself growing to full length.
Cream Pie giggles again at Shining Armor's discomfort. "Sorry, just teasing you, pops." Something catches her eye and she crouches down. Her eyes grow wide. "Wow! You're already hard? And we haven't checked any of the toys yet! Must be a new record for me."
Shining Armor crouches down as well to try and cover his erection, even though he knows it's too late. He feels his face burn from embarrassment. "Please don't look. Please."
Cream Pie's mouth falls open for a moment. She walks next to Shining Armor making sure to look away from his throbbing rod. "Hey, umm, sorry. I didn't mean... Damn. Cherry's gonna tan my hide for this. Okay, seriously, listen. It's okay. Almost every stallion that comes here pops a boner at one point or another. It's totally cool. That's kinda what we're here for." She hesitates for a moment before gently patting him on the shoulder.
Shining Armor feels a burning behind his eyes, but he shakes his head. Another pony now thinks he's a pervert, or an idiot, or probably both"This is so wrong. Everything's just so wrong."
"Pops, deep breaths, okay?" Cherry Pie springs up and takes a peek behind the shelves to see if they've been noticed, before returning to his side. "Seriously, most stallions that come here actually want me to tease them a bit, and to be honest, they usually buy more stuff that way."
Shining Armor looks at the cream-coloured angel hovering over him with her clearly startled face. She looks perfectly earnest, having lost her coy and playful demeanor from earlier. She's more of a little frightened filly than someone working in a sex shop. He lowers his haunches on the ground and sits up, feeling Little Shiny take a comfortable loft along the floor. It gives a little twitch, reporting for duty despite the cold stonework. The burning behind Shining Armor's eyes is easing off a bit at least. He tries to regain some more composure by putting on a confident grin. "So you're not going to call the guards or anything?"
"Oh, come on. I told you it's totally okay. If I did that every time somepony sticks up in here or at the club, they'd run out of cells in a day."
"We—They have a lot of cells."
"Yeah, seen 'em," Cream Pie says confidently. "In a day, easy."
Shining Armor is left with a furrowed brow. Cream Pie apparently mistakes his expression for apprehension. "I wasn't arrested! They just wanted me to put on a private show for a guardspony who was getting married."
"They did, did they?" Shining Armor asks. Nopony invited me.
Cream Pie sits next to him. "You feeling better?"
"Yeah," Shining Armor says. "Getting there."
"I still feel like I really messed up. Boss always tells me that we're supposed to make the customers feel at ease and stuff." Cream Pie says.
"I think..." Shining Armor starts. "I think I'm the messed up one here."
"This your first time at a sex shop then?" Cream Pie asks.
Shining Armor shakes his head. "Not really. This place is just, well, different. Those places were really dark and there was a gruff old pony sitting behind a counter and he never talked. It was mostly just magazines and some toys." He looks around him. "Lot less pink too."
"I know, right? The boss wanted to make this place totally open about sex and stuff, like there would be no taboos here. Well, except if they're illegal. And Mistress Copper? She's got a 'dungeon' downstairs. That's where she has the really weird things."
Shining Armor is almost able to subdue his curiosity. Almost. "How weird are we talking here?"
"Err... it's the really hardcore stuff. Chains, ropes, whips, a lot of black, well, everything in black really."
"I think I get the picture."
"She got one of the new Great Catherine suspension rigs installed last week."
Shining Armor works his mouth without words for a moment. "Let's not go there, okay?"
"No worries. She'd put me in one of those contraptions if she found out I'd let somepony there behind her back." Despite her grin, Shining Armor isn't quite sure if she's joking or not. "So bottom line is: We get all kinds here. You can be your own, dirty, smutty self here and we're gonna help you have a good time with it."
Shining Armor clears his throat a bit. "Even if I wasn't very, err, smutty?"
"Oh, come on. Everypony's got kinks, and I do mean everypony. Some just don't even realise they have them." She pats him on the shoulder one more time and gets up. "So you said something about role-playing and DS stuff?"
"DS?" Shining Armor asks.
"Domination and submission? Like role reversal, making one of you be the boss and the other one submit to them."
The familiar warmth returns to Shining Armor's face. Little Shiny shows his CV and job application for the 'boss' thing. "Yeah, something like that."
"Easy peasy. That's one of the more common BDSM things ponies look for."
"Err..."
"Sorry. That's for B for Bondage, DS for Domination and Submission, SM for Sado-Masochism—BDSM! Just so used to talking about them with letters."
"Are these gonna be on a test?" Shining Armor asks. Wait, I'm into something weird that even has an acronym? Am I even into it?
"It's just a big catch-all name for a lot of stuff. Goes all the way from fluffy hoofcuffs and tight pleather saddles to, well, the dungeon downstairs."
Or thinking of spanking Cady and her maids probably. I'm such a sick f—
"So you wanted her to sub to you, right?" Cream Pie asks.
"Y-yes?" Shining Armor.
"Ever done stuff like that with her?"
Just thinking about 'stuff like that' makes Little Shiny twitch emphatically. "Not really."
"Well, come on then. We're close by to where we wanna go to," Cream Pie says.
As she turns around, her swishing tail catches Shining Armor on the muzzle again. With every step, her rump sways invitingly. Just asking for me to push her supple young body to the floor, face down and that oh-so-tasty ass up. She'd squeal a bit as I thrust into her tight little pie, but it'd turn into loud moans of... "Not gonna happen!" Shining Armor berates himself.
Cream Pie spins around again. "Huh? I thought you wanted to—"
"I do! I mean, uhh, let's go. Just... thinking out loud. Or not thinking out loud. I..." Shining Armor lowers his head down again, then shakes it vigorously. "Sorry. Let's go."
Cream Pie lifts one of her eyebrows up, then shrugs. "Okies!" Around the corner the shelves are filled with toys that range from things he'd expect to see in a pet shop to frilly dresses. "So do you have any ideas on what you're looking for? Any fantasies you want to play out?"
Shining Armor looks around the furry toys, halters, bits and bridles, and is lost like a kid in a candy store. "I... dunno really. Now that I think about it, I really have no ideas."
"Help me out a bit here, pops. Why do you wanna do domplay with her?"
"That is, I..." Shining Armor begins, before stuttering to a stop again. He looks at the cherubic young mare's face, who is brimming with nothing but acceptance and helpfulness. He gives up. "Well you see, we've been seeing our therapist a few times because I've really been suffering in the bed with her. No matter what we try, I can't get it up with her. The therapist says it's like I'm afraid of Cady and, well, she is scary, somehow. She's big and strong. She's probably the smartest and strong-willed mare I've ever met. Don't get me wrong, she's totally awesome and I love her, but when it gets down to it, you know, in bed, it just doesn't work."
Cream Pie listens intently, cocking her head to the side while thinking. "You've thought about this a lot, haven't you? She is pretty big, that's for sure. I kinda think I know where you're getting with this. I think we need to give you a little boost. Tell me, do you think smaller mares are sexier?"
Shining Armor stares at her with a limp jaw. Like this fuzzball here? Sure, I can get it up easy with any normal mare. Heck, even thinking about this filly here. They'd all probably be so mm-mm tight... "A bit maybe. But I'm with Cady and I totally know she's the mare of my life." That didn't sound rehearsed at all!
Cherry Pie waves a hoof at her. "Of course she is. I didn't mean that. But think about it: Would you like it if she was somehow smaller? Or felt like it? You'd be the big, hunky stallion and she'd be your obedient, helpless little filly?"
I guess there really is no denying it. Both Shining Armor and Little Shiny nod.
"Well that's pretty much what domplay is. Now we just gotta figure out ways to do it. For example..." She picks up a black collar with a leash on it from the shelf. "How about putting her in a leash? You could take her out for a walk outside? Make her beg for treats like a good little doggy?"
The mental image of Cadance running around the castle gardens, pulling Shining Armor along on his face doesn't really do it for him. He shakes his head.
Cream Pie pulls out a rack of frilly costumes from somewhere to the side. "Well how about some nice costumes? You could dress her up as a maid and make her clean up after her Master?"
He shakes his head. "Let's not mix maids into this one at all."
"Well then how about..." she pulls out a short pleated skirt and a sailor shirt. "A schoolfilly uniform? We also carry a Headmaster costume for stallions to go with it."
Principal Shining Armor. "Mmm... not bad," Shining Armor has to admit.
"Lessee..." Another short skirt, this time with a sportier top and two pom-poms "Cheerleader?"
Some very warm memories of bouncy young mares from high school return to Shining Armor. "Y-yes."
An assault of glitter and lace. "Ballerina?"
"Err... maybe not."
Cream Pie tosses the frilly dress over her shoulder. "Didn't think so. That'd be too much pink on pink." she pulls out the dark green uniform from the rack. "Filly Scout?"
A tiny spark escapes from Shining Armor's horn. He feels his face just caught fire.
"I think we got a winner!" Cream Pie says triumphantly. "One of my personal favourites too."
Shining Armor grins like an idiot, but then he squints at the costume. "Aren't these kinda small? None of these would fit Cady."
Cherry Pie giggles. "Don't you worry about that. We carry larger sizes too."
"Wait..." Shining Armor says. "Are you telling me you have Alicorn-sized role costumes?" The thought of Princess Luna as a cheerleader jumping around, waving pom-poms the size of small houses, shouting "CANTERLOT WONDERCOLTS! WHOO!" in her booming voice almost deafens his brains.
"All these costumes come in stallion-size as well."
"Oh, well that'd..." A tiny short-circuit blacks out a part of Shining Armor's mind. "Stallion size?"
"Unlike most of our couples, you could even swap clothes sometimes." She leans in closer, pushing the scout uniform against his chest. "You'd probably look cute in a skirt too."
A coughing fit overtakes Shining Armor. Just the thought of any of his guardsponies ever finding out about even the possibility... "M-maybe not."
"You never know, you know!" Cream Pie says. "So that's one thing we can go for. Speaking of size by the way, how is she?"
"How is she what?"
"You know, down there? Is she a good fit?"
Shining Armor gawks at her. "I'm not sure if I should answer that."
Cream Pie waves her forehooves defensively. "Totally asking professionally! Some couples have, you know, interface problems. Toothpick in a barn kinda deal. Or the other way around. And we have a lot of toys and stuff that can help."
For a moment, Shining Armor wonders if he should be angry, but instead its his curiosity that wins out. "Well, she is a big mare and, you know, big."
"Know if she's tried anything for it? Or you?"
"Me? What could I do for it?"
Cream Pie once again goes to another aisle in the seemingly endless vault of wonders and picks up a large red tube with a picture of a huge stallion on the front. Huge, as in, could probably cut fell with his member. The tube itself is transparent and there's a length of rubber tube with a pump on the end. "You could try a Scandineighian enlargement pump." She picks up what looks like a very thick condom. "Or wear a sheathe." She motions for the rest of the shelf which seems to be brimming with other such implements.
"I never thought there'd be stuff like that. I just thought it was up to the, uhh, mare. Like with some balls."
"Oh, you've heard of neighsa orbs? They're great. Takes time to train with them, but it works. They've gotten really popular since a doctor recommended them in a newspaper." She leans closer to Shining Armor's ear and whispers. "We sent him a fruit basket as thanks."
"Oh...kay?" Shining Armor manages.
"Yup. So that's one thing you could try. Need to talk to her as well, but I think Cherry's got that covered. How about some softcore bondage?" She puts the pump and the sheath back on the shelf and whirls around to yet another aisle to pick up a pair of hoofcuffs, covered in pink fur. "These are a classic."
"That could work..." Shining Armor says. A thought of Cadance with hoofcuffs... then her muscles bulging as she rips them apart and shouts "CADANCE SMASH" doesn't agree. "On second thought, maybe not."
"Well how about sensory play? Some silk scarves to blindfold her? Gagging her with them? You could also try tying her hooves to bedposts? There's a lot you can do with scarves and some imagination."
"Yeah, umm, sounds good."
"Insertions? Plugs? Nothing makes a pony feel small like having a rubber dong shoved up their..." She sees his horrified expression. "Guess that's a no then." Without losing a beat, she turns to another shelf that would fit more in a sports equipment store. "How about giving her a few smacks on the butt? Maybe with a nice supple riding crop? A paddle? That one would go well with the school uniform. Nothing puts a filly in their place like a sore rump. At least that's what my CF always says. The jerk." She pushes her tongue out.
Shining Armor shivers at the thought. Hay yeah! "That'd be, I dunno, fun, I guess. But it'd never work. I can't imagine Cady ever going for something like that."
"Isn't that kinda the point? She wouldn't get to choose? You'd be in control."
"Look, I get it, don't get me wrong. I'd really like to do something like that with her, but she's been through a lot lately. I really don't want to hurt her." He takes one of the paddles from the shelf and gives it a swish through the air. Looks like it'd hurt plenty. He grins wickedly. "Just the thought of her trying to run a diplomatic meeting while she couldn't sit straight is priceless, but no. It'd never happen." He puts the paddle back on the shelf with a short, longing gaze.
"You never know what ponies are into before you try, you know? But yeah, I get you. No pain. Maybe one day."
"Yeah, one day, but not today."
The flurry of cream and blue continues along the shelves, showing Shining Armor things he never even imagined could be used for anything but, well, innocent things. The eggwhisk and the oyster shells really take him by surprise. On the other hoof, the rest of the things he can't imagine anything innocent done with them. There's a difference between explaining a wide, wood-backed mane-brush and a 16-inch wooden paddle, after all. Not that he'd thought of picking up a nice manebrush, you know, just in case he needs to help Cady with her mane. And tail. Especially the tail.
They run into Cadance and Cherry Pie a few times, crossing paths in the most awkward of moments. Both he and Cadance look away every time. A lot of nervous umming and ahhing are accompanied by nervous coughs and sudden interest in floor tiles.
After the better part of an hour, they return back to the table where they started from. "Sorry, gotta leave you here for a sec," Cream Pie says. "Little fillies room. Seems your honeybuns is taking her time, so we can go look for her when I get back."
"S-sure," Shining Armor says. His eyes are still slightly wide and bit blurry from having such wide swathes of his innocence been shorn away. He sits down at the table, mulling over all the things he might get to do with Cadance, possibly even that very night. Or not. She would still have to agree to the things and he has no idea what she and Cherry Pie had thought of on their excursion to the Land of Pink. He tries to remind himself how prudish Cadance had been acting about the whole thing. She did get a dildo from here, so there might be hope. Wonder if she's actually into a lot of these things and is too afraid to tell me? Like how I was?
A terrible curiosity creeps upon him. The fuzzball is somewhere in the back, so there would be nopony around to notice if he crept up to Cadance and maybe overheard something over a shelf. By accident of course. With a quick glance to check that he is still alone, he dashes to the nearest pink pillar and leans his back onto it, standing on his hind legs only. Like a white shadow in a pastel jungle, he slides along his cover like a ninja commando, unseen by all. Despite its humongous size, no shop is large enough to hide an Alicorn for too long. He nearly stumbles into the two mares chatting near one of the very shelves where he and Cream Pie started off from. They don't notice him as he once more leans against the shelf, training his ears at them. For some reason, he can't make out what they are saying, even though they are only a few metres from him.
"No use in trying to spy on them, pops!"
Shining Armor jumps at the sudden shout from right behind him. For a klutzy tempest of a pony, Cream Pie sure can sneak up on people. "I wasn't... that is, I, err, you see—"
Cream Pie grins at him. "I know you didn't hear anything. We have intimacy spells to cover the shop. Nopony can hear anypony else talking unless they want to be heard. Boss says one if his customers made it for him as payment."
"Huh. I never noticed," Shining Armor says. He closes his eyes and concentrates for a moment, feeling his horn pulse with magic. Sure enough, there is a familiar tinge of protective magic in the air. It swirls through the air, covering the are in a gentle blanket of silence. He can almost sense the fabric of it, the way it's been woven through the whole building, but the finer parts elude him. There is clearly a focus item, possibly several, hidden around to power it. If he followed them to its source, he could take a good gander at the actual construction. Walking along the corridor between shelves, he comes upon a shining object, a red gemstone heart hanging from the ceiling. It is one of the foci, radiating the magic around. The texture of the enchantment is clear, and now that he sees it, he recognises the all too familiar character and colour of it. It is both gentle and firm, just like the pony who wove it. If he needed to, he could probably unravel the spell, but it would be a chore.
"Whatcha doin'?" Cream Pie asks.
Shining Armor is shaken once again back into reality. He looks at the gem above him one more time with a mixture of wistfulness and pride, and maybe just a little bit of jealousy. This type of shielding magic used to be only for him. "Just thinking about my sister and what a great pony she's become." The other connotations of the spell also creep into his mind. That's not a cheap enchantment. She probably has a tab here, and I'd rather not think about why she'd be a regular here. How often does she come here? I said I DO NOT want to think about it, brain! Shut up.
"Your sister?" Cream Pie tilts her head. "I don't get it."
"Don't worry about it. I just think I like this place a bit more now," Shining Armor says.
Cream Pie seems to gain a few inches of height. "Gee, thanks! So why don't we go talk to your sweetie and see what they're up to?"
"Sure, umm..." Shining Armor says. "Could you maybe not tell Cady I tried to eavesdrop on her?"
"Well," Cream Pie says. She rubs her muzzle in a conspiratorial way. "If you don't tell Cherry I teased you a bit too much. Still sorry about that one, by the way!"
"Deal. And don't worry about it."
They round the corner and find Cadance looking at a black pleather hood with a zipper over its mouth. She looks confused, and slightly wide-eyed. When she notices Shining Armor, she calmly sets it back onto the shelf. "Well, there's one thing we're not going to try."
"Not really my thing either," Shining Armor says. "Though you might look good in a tight saddle and knee-high pleather boots."
"You're joking, right," she says. "Tell me you're joking."
He tries to keep a straight face. "Mayybe." He ignores Cadance's glare completely. "Find anything fun?"
"If by 'fun' you mean antiquated torture devices and a lot less faith in equinity, then yes. Quite a lot." She picks up a very uncomfortable looking ball gag. "I never expected you to be into these kinds of things. Did you know you can make this shock a pony if you use magic on it?"
"Hey, I never said anything about—"
"Miss Cherry Pie tells me all of you stallions are into these things deep down. I would never have believed it about you."
"C-cady I'm not—"
"Oh, I know you aren't," Cadance says, her stern expression melting into a smile. She nuzzles Shining Armor. "That's what you get for teasing me."
Shining Armor sighs with relief and returns the nuzzle. "You're evil, did you know that?"
"And you love me for it," she answers.
"Yes I do." Shining Armor pecks a little kiss on her cheek. "So what do you really think of the place?"
Cadance lifts her chin up a bit. "It is not like this was my first time here, you know."
"Sorry, I forgot you're a regular at these kinds of shops."
"Shiny!"
"Gotcha."
Cadance seems to have some of the wind taken out from her sails. "To be frank, this visit has been far more pleasurable than last time. Miss Cherry Pie has been very nice and knowledgeable about things. I picked up some books about, well, our situation." She hovers a gigantic pile of books from a shelf where she'd sat them earlier.
Shining Armor had noticed the books before, but thought they were just on display. He picks a few at random and reads the titles out loud.
"'Pony Sutra: The Art of Making Love',
'Bonds of Trust: A Beginner's Guide to Responsible BDSM',
'A Sailor in The Bedroom: 100 Useful Knots'
'The Many Uses of A Feather'
'Stroke My Strawberry: Erotic Foods'
'501 Naughty Jokes for Private Moments...' wait what? What are all these?"
"They seemed interesting!" Cadance says. "And I've never seen these in the Canterlot Library."
"Wonder why..."
"Anyway, Cherry Pie said... Actually where did she go?"
Both Cherry and Cream Pie seem to have vanished during their reunion. Where the young mares stood before was now a blank space. A tumbleweed rolled past by.
"Probably off to list all of our perversions to each other and laughing at how weird we are," Shining Armor said.
Cadance shuffles her legs uneasily. She's careful not to make eye contact with Shining Armor. "I don't feel right about this. All of this. Do we really need..." she points around the ubiquitous pleather toys around them "...this? Can't we just go home and figure things out together?"
"I know the feeling. Really I do," Shining Armor says. He moves in closer to Cadance so their sides touch. "I'm not really comfortable with all of the stuff here either. Just thinking about doing something like this with you together feels off, and I can't imagine what it must feel like for you. We're here to buy things to, well, you know, all that submission stuff, after all."
Cadance shivers from head to tail. She nods quietly.
It's the first time Shining Armor has seen her like that for a long time. The self-assured and willful Princess lost and hesitant, clearly outside of her comfort zone. All the royal air taken out of her, she looks just like any other mare. Well, save for the part where she is a full head taller than anypony she's likely to meet. He feels a certain satisfaction at her plight, mostly because she's clearly not in any real danger, yet nervous like a little colt before a flugelhorn recital. He nuzzles her underneath her chin to hide his growing smile. "I've been thinking about this a bit. Maybe Sassy Swallow wanted you to have to come here with me and ask about submission. She might have meant it to be our first step."
Cadance seems to ruminate on the thought. "Maybe."
"It would be something she'd do, right? Make us figure things out for ourselves with her just shoving us in the right direction." He nuzzles her a bit more and feels her nod ever so slightly. "I'm happy you came here, Cady. It really means a lot to me."
Cadance sighs and turns to nuzzle him back. Their horns touch together gently, with a tiny pink heart popping into existence and floating up in the air. "Just promise me you won't be doing anything really creepy to me."
"Honey, you know me. I'd never do anything that you wouldn't really want to do. The point was to try and find balance, nothing more."
"Yes, I understand that." She takes a deep breath. "Fine. I'll trust you on this. Let's just get this over with."
"Thank you, Honey." Shining Armor looks around for the Pie sisters. He starts walking for the large table they sat at before. Cadance follows him silently. This feels weird. Usually Cady always walks everywhere first. Unless she expects me to open a door for her or something. Not that I'd mind.
They barely have time to sit down when the door behind the counter slams open and Cream Pie explodes out. "Good news! We found some great stuff that we're sure you'll love."
Cherry Pie follows her sister into the room and sits down at the table. "Yes. We could pick up some of the things and wrap them up for you."
Shining Armor shrugs and turns to look at Cadance. "That would be lovely," she says.
"Wanna know what we got for you? Or should it be a surprise?" Cream gushes.
Another unsure look. This time it's Shining Armor who takes the reins. "Let's keep it a surprise. I think we've had enough embarrasment for the time being."
"Very well. It will take some time to get them packed, so would you like to send someone for a pick-up later?"
"Sounds good," Cadance says. "Unfortunately we really must get back to the castle. This has been a very educational visit. It was nice to meet you two and get acquainted with your establishment so thoroughly."
"Yeah, thanks," Shining Armor adds.
"It was our pleasure," Cherry Pie says.
Cream Pie goes to open the lock on the door and flips the notice around to 'open'. "You'll come see us again, right?"
Cadance coughs politely.
"I sure hope so," Shining Armor says with a grin.
Their carriage is already waiting outside. Their driver is standing motionless in front, stood unflinching in the freezing rain of sleet. With a professional eye, Shining Armor notices the the stallion's legs are shaking slightly and his jaw is clenched tightly. They must have been inside for more than an hour. He remembers how horrid the armor the driver is wearing feels when cold and wet. It's one of the things he really doesn't miss about the Guard. For some reason, instead of sympathy, his grin just grows wider. Remember what they said: Live the life. Join the Guard.
"To the Castle, please," Cadance says from inside the warm and dry carriage. Shining Armor climbs in and closes the door, shutting the late Autumn outside.
An eerie calm surrounds the breakfast table. Cadance and Shining Armor could be in different galaxies, even though they sit just opposite each other. They eat their meals in solitude, while the temperature of the room is close to freezing. Shining Armor asked the maids to serve brain bleach instead of a tea, but unfortunately the castle seems to be out.
He tries to break the rapidly forming ice. "The, Filly Scout uniform was nice."
"It was made for a normal-sized mare, Shiny." A chill wind blows through the room.
"The other were your size. Maybe when we get the correct size..." Cadance's gaze is now directed at him at full force. His words teeter to a halt. A hoary rime covers the surface of his tea.
She lowers her teacup slowly. "A school uniform? Really?"
"You looked really cute when we were in High School."
The teacup finally reaches its saucer. "I never wore a school uniform. Our school didn't have school uniforms. And I wasn't a cheerleader either."
"You tried out for them!"
"Apparently I was too big for their pyramid formation. And every other formation for that matter. And had a brain. That's an automatic fail."
"They were just jealous of the prettiest filly in school."
"They called me too 'butch', Shiny. Butch."
"I didn't know that," he said. "You coulda been one now, right? It was meant to be a game."
"When I told Cherry Pie that I wouldn't mind dressing up, I expected it to mean something like the beautiful silk saddles they had. Not theatre costumes."
"The point was to get you into a role. You know, something where you'd feel maybe a little uncomfortable and, well, weaker."
"Why would waving around pom-poms make me feel anything but silly?" She shifts on her seat ever so slightly, but it's all too clear for Shining Armor. "I still can't believe you did that."
Shining Armor looks at his lap. "Sorry."
"A manebrush? Really?"
"I'm sorry, okay. I just... Cream Pie told me it might work and make you feel, you know, smaller. And it was just one smack."
"No. It was two. The first and the last. I checked in the mirror. I may have to cancel a very important council meeting today because I can't go there with such a mark on my hindquarters."
"I said I was sorry!"
"Do you realise that Twilight is coming to visit us today too? She's probably on the train already. We can't cancel something like that! How are we going to explain it to her?" A clear hint of fear was tinting her voice.
If only that fear had been there the night before it might have worked. It had all gone so differently in his head. Blindfold her, walk her around the room just like in the book, then surprise her with a quick slap on the rump... Cadance hadn't been supposed to use half the stuff they'd gotten from the shop as ammunition. Sleeping on the couch had definitely not been a part of his plan. "Don't worry. It's Twily. We'll figure something out."
"No, you will figure something out."
"Cady, trust me on this, a mark from a manebrush goes away pretty quick. It should be gone completely gone by evening."
"How would you know?"
Memories of an angry shopkeeper, a scared little thief, and a very disappointed Twilight Velvet sprung to mind. "Let's just say you're lucky to have a pink coat and not a white one. And that you don't have school today."
Cadance tried to keep a stern face, but it was clearly difficult. "Really? You got—"
"Only once, okay! And don't remind me. I can still hear the foals at school laughing at my new Cutie Mark."
Cadance gets up and walks to Shining Armor and nuzzles him. "I forgive you."
A huge boulder rolls off of Shining Armor's chest. "Thanks." Cadance is looking away with a strange expression. She is smiling, yet her eyes keep scanning the room around. "What is it?" he asks.
"Promise not to tell anypony?"
"Of course. Is something wrong?"
"Well, to be quite honest... Ididn'tminditthatmuch."
He couldn't have heard right. "Wha?"
Cadance draws a deep breath before repeating. "I didn't mind it that much. It didn't hurt really. I was just really surprised. It, well, reminded me of my foalhood a bit."
"Wait, did you get one as well?"
"No. I did get threatened once, but it didn't lead to anything."
Shining Armor pushes his tongue out. "Lucky you." In a slightly more serious voice he says. "It didn't feel really right to me either, but maybe I'll keep that manebrush around, just in case."
Cadance swallows. "Fine. But no surprises."
"Agreed." He strokes her head. "Maybe I could do your mane sometime."
This time it's Cadance's turn to stick her tongue out. "I think I'd rather have the other option."
"Feh." Shining Armor thinks its a good time to try and negotiate peace. "So does this mean I spent the night on the couch for nothing?"
Cadance's face grows more stern, but then softens a bit. "Well, maybe I did overreact a bit. But the blindfold, the clothespins, and the wasabi all at the same time was too much. And then you used the brush."
"Yeah, well, I might have gotten a bit carried away," he says with a cringe.
"A bit? You were wearing the inflatable—"
"Fine. A lot carried a way. Part of it's your fault too! You shouldn't have giggled all the time while I tried to do the role-playing."
"You were standing on the bed in your full ceremonial armour and shouting at me to do push-ups."
"The book said I should try to assume a position of authority I'm comfortable with!"
Cadance pats him on the head. "I know, Honey. But maybe you were trying too much?"
Shining Armor fidgets with his forehooves for a moment. "I guess. It's just that I really wanted to make this work."
"We both do. And we will. It's just that all the blindfolds and weird smells feel really bad for me. Like I was more scared than uncomfortable. You know I have a thing with being in the dark."
Shining Armor nods. "Maybe this could be a way to work on that too? You know you're safe with me, so even if you have to wear a blindfold, you'd slowly get rid of the fear?"
"I don't like it." Cadance shivers. "It's too soon."
Shining Armor kisses her cheek. "When you're ready."
"Thank you." After a short nuzzle, Cadance gets up again. "Well, I have to start getting ready for the council meeting."
"Wait a minute. Didn't you say you'd have to skip it because of the, uhh, mark?"
"Don't be silly. Of course I won't miss something important like that. I'll just wear one of the hundreds of dresses I never get to use."
Shining Armor gawks at him. "You were going to do that all along, weren't you? All that... All of that..."
Cadance looks directly at him with no expression whatsoever. "I have no idea what you're talking about and have no further comments on the matter."
"You're evil," Shining Armor says.
They hold their stares for a moment, before the edge of Shining Armor's mouth starts to revolt and forces the rest of his face into a smile. Cadance returns it with a giggle. "We really need to play poker sometime," she says.
Once again, Shining Armor is taken by surprise. "You know how to play poker?"
"How else do you expect me to spend the time while traveling to Aunt knows where on a train for hours on end? And don't worry, I always make sure the guards have at least some bits left." She gets up and moves for the bedroom door. "I think I have enough time to take a shower before leaving."
Shining Armor forces his open mouth to work again. "How long do you think the council will take?"
"Too long. But don't worry, I'll be sure to finish before Twilight gets here." She turns to look over her shoulder. "Filly Scout's honour." She shakes her rump for emphasis.
"You know what? I think I'll join you for that shower."