Neigh York.
East Broadway, just off of the Manehattan Bridge.
7:00 PM
I was in the old cafe, with a cup of joe, black, no milk or sugar, I liked it tough and surprising, like me.
I was sitting in the corner table, waiting for my contact when suddenly...
Oh wait, that’s the intro for my ‘murder noir’ fic.
Where’s the intro for my...
Oh right, here it is:
Here I am, a royal Canterlot guard, my job is to take care of the royal sisters. Good pay, fair hours, not a bad job. The problem is, I signed up to be a caretaker for two princesses, not be their *shudder* foalsitter. Don’t get me wrong, Celestia and Luna are sweet and adorable but quite a hooffull at times... okay all the time, but at least they like me.
CRASH!!
Crap, I’ve got to stop monologuing so much.
“Luna, get off the pantry shelf, you could hurt yourself!”
“How? I’ve got great balance, I’m not gonna fall.”
“That’s not the point young filly, now there is broken glass everywhere on the floor and up there, you could get cut.”
She giggles at my unintentional pun “Not if I’m careful, Cloudy!”
I sigh and fly up, grab the dark blue filly and gently put her back on the ground. I start cleaning up the glass. Luna seems mad, but even her grumpy face is cute, why is she so easy to forgive?
“Princess, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me ‘Cloudy’, my name is Cloud Dasher.”
“But that sounds boring, like you are.”
I roll my eyes “I’m here to care for you, not be fun, princess. By the way, where is your sister?”
Luna thinks for a few seconds “I dunno.”
That’s not good, who knows what either of them could get up to if unattended? I look at Luna, and pick her up before taking off. “Hold on Luna, let’s find Celestia.”
Luna just hops onto my back and grabs my mane, giggling at the ride “Wheeeeeeeeee! Go faster! Wheeeee!”
I can already tell this is going to be a long day...
Flying through the castle, I look for Celestia. Normally you’d think a white filly with a pink mane would be easy to spot, but the castle has so many bright colors, her being small can make her very hard to spot. I make a quick lap through some of the hallways and main stairways, but I don’t find her, so I check the other rooms, eventually returning to the pantry. I see something move out of the corner of my eye, and turn to see... a cookie jar? It was laying on it’s side and moving. Cautiously I strafed around it, keeping Luna covered by one of my wings while eyeing the jar suspiciously. Soon, I get to the other side of the cookie jar, and I see a little pink tail, munching sounds coming from inside. I sigh loudly and grab the tail in my teeth gently and pull Celestia out of the jar, she looks up at me a chocolate chip cookie in her mouth.
“Celly, can I have one?” Luna asks noticing the cookie. I put both fillies on the ground, and put the cookie jar back on the top shelf, how either of them get up there is beyond me. “No, no cookies, don’t spoil your dinner.” I take the cookie from Celestia, but then they both look at me with their giant eyes. Curse those eyes, why must they be so cute? WHY!? Obviously I give in and break the cookie into two halves, giving one part to each princess.
Once they are finished, I escort them outside to the garden. “Now you two can play all you want out here, but if anything happens to either of you, I want you to tell me, don’t try and fix it yourselves, understand fillies?” They agree, but not before calling me ‘Sir captain Worry-wart’, they then run off into the garden to play with each other. I watch them carefully, hoping that they can manage to stay out of trouble for at least an hour. Those two fillies can be so difficult, I don’t know why they thought it was a job for one stallion, how could any single pony handle two young fillies? Maybe I could try and get a partner, but who would want to help? The only reason I do this is for the money... and because the sisters are so dang adorable.
It is seven in the afternoon and the fillies somehow kept safe until their bedtime. After a lot of struggling and complaining, I finally got them to sleep, bath time is always a struggle, how can they run so fast on such stubby hooves? Sure they are a hassle during the day, but when they are asleep, I swear a pony could mistake them for angels, they are so cute it makes some of this trouble worthwhile.
I head to my room and look at myself in the mirror. My hunter-green coat seemed alright, my silver mane slightly messy as usual, but one look at the rings under my grayish-blue eyes reminded me of how tired I was. Before going to bed, I look at my cutie mark (a pair of crossed feathers) which I had got for having such dextrous wings. I may not have been the fastest flyer, but my maneuverability alone had gotten me into the royal guard. I lean down, jump back, and do a triple backflip in mid-air, finishing with a side twirl before landing right on my bed.
“Ya still got it, Cloud Dasher, ya still got it.” I whisper to myself smugly before I get under the covers and go to sleep. Today was alright.
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Help!” I get up as fast as I can almost tripping over my tail somehow and grab my spear, rushing to Luna’s room. I raise the weapon for a stab attack and open the door quickly to find Luna holding up a stuffed owl toy. I look to the side and aim my spear at... nothing. I check the room carefully, the window is closed and fine, nothing unusual. I go over and hold Luna to get her to stop crying. Eventually she does and I ask her what the problem is. She pulls her covers over her head and squeaks adorably, but this is no time to be distracted.
“Luna, speak up, what is the matter?”
“Th- th- there’s a m- m- m- monster in my closet!!”
“Really? Well where is it?” I ask sarcastically, but her reply surprised me a little.
“It’s right there!” She is pointing towards the closet, and I actually see something! A dark towering figure with huge teeth! I rush towards it but stop when I realized something, it’s not moving or making any sound whatsoever. I look at the ground and see a dragon toy, a shadow of it cast on the wall from Luna’s night light. I take the dragon toy and put it in her toy box and go over to the quivering pile of blankets that was princess Luna and look under the covers.
“It’s okay Luna, the monster is gone, I took care of it.”
She says thank you and hugs me. Yes, this job is almost always worth it.
First! To say I liked it.
Very good, you did well.
No spelling errors, though the build-up is a little slow.
1642815
What do you MEAN!? I just finished editing it after a look over and I left out a word! Here is the original sentence:
I FORGOT TO PUT AN 'A' IN THE SENTENCE! HOW CAN I CALL MYSELF AN EDITOR!? I know, I'll blame aliens, yeah, aliens took me aboard their spaceship and removed my OCD temporarily, everyone should believe that
I'M NORMAAAAAAL!!
1642535 Careful there, I'm more forgiving than most, so you'll get away with that from me, but saying 'first' to anyone else may not end well.
1643190
I thought it was Luna dropping the word in fright, but okay...
1643242 Dammit, I HAD AN EXCUSE!
1643245
too late.
And I have the screencap, so you can't even redact it...
1643359 I wasn't planning to, I just like being dramatic.
1643364
I was just teasing you, anyways. Also, I figured something out, take a lookit this:
Pinkie is
&
the Linkie!
Also, goodnight, I need sleep so I can edit stuff.
1643428 Wazzat? Oh sorry, I fell asleep.
BTW: Me Gusta.
Hi buddy :
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The pie-man is back. What have you gotten yourself into this time mate?
Cute Royal Filly Sisters.
I like. CONTINUE!
Neat, though I have to ask: why have a guard for them as foalsitter? I mean, you'd think that whoever are the two's parents, they'd have the money to hire a professional nanny or something. Somone with the training and patience to even handle these two fillies.
Oh, and keep on the d'awwww!
Pie-Man, take a look at the post this links to:
1643841
You're famous enough to get spam-bots already!
1644387 ...I have many snarky replies, but since this is fic is rated 'everyone' I will abstain.
1644443 Sure, as soon as I get ideas, I used all but one and I'm saving it for a later chapter.
1645100 Because I thought it would be funny. And besides, his job is to maintain their well-being, that is what a guard must do. And I know from seeing videos of me when I was young how dependent they are, without someone taking care of them, lots of things can go wrong. Also I used a guard because of canon issues: 1. We have no idea who their parents are so if I give them a personality and it's later revealed that they are very different, my fic wouldn't work out. 2. We've only seen guards working the castle, so if there were any caretakers, etc. I'm fairly sure we'd have seen them by now.
1646057
1646178
anyhow, you should go report the spam-bot.
1646225 Maybe, but if I did it first I wouldn't have an excuse to put Weird Al on Fimfiction.
1646233
as if you need an excuse to put Weird Al anywhere.
1646267 Not everyone understands his genius, so they believe one needs a reason for everything.
1646272
pffft, amateurs.
1646323 Couldn't agree more.
1646167
Actually, both "canon issues" are pretty non-valid:
1. We don't need to see the personality of their parents for them to hire a nanny.
2. That's actually untrue. We have seen at least one character that is not a royal guard that was obviously working for the Royal Palace: the Gardener from Best Night Ever. Plus, there was the secretary/assistant to Celestia in the S3E1.
So, it would be fairly logical to assume that there would be other servants hired as needed.
1646344 True, but we mainly know that because we pay close attention and put that information to memory, not EVERYONE will notice and remember everything. Plus, I kinda like things to go this way. And certain situations make more sense with a guard, they are intentionally trained to protect, so if someone sees a monster (whether it turns out to be real or not) would you call a secretary or a gardener? He is there to KEEP THEM SAFE, it's just that the job entails more than being a simple meat shield.
1646344
I have the perfect counter-argument: It's a lot funnier to watch a stuffy, uptight guard have to deal with them than a calm and composed nanny who knows what they're doing.
And who says that this guard is the first caretaker the sisters have had? They might've driven the last several to distraction... or worse. He could be a literal last-ditch effort to keep them taken care of.
1646420 ...see, this is why you are helping me come up with ideas.
1646432
It's because I'm brilliant like , isn't it?
You know it's true.
1646455 well, you're definitely a genius...
1646491
And the only difference between Genius and Madness is what they produce. And I produce produce!
1646574 ...I produce carbon dioxide, does that mean I'm a fart?
1646591
no, just full of hot air.
A fart is full of carbon monoxide, and methane.
1646621 So I'm less than a fart? Thanks pal, you're so helpful. *sarcasm*
1646633
you know, we seem to be carrying on a full conversation, we might as well move this onto Skype for voice chat.
1646389>>1646420
Don't get me wrong, I am not crying foul here. It's just something to think about. Plus, it is somewhat of a critique: if he answers the question in the story, he shows that he thought about the story. By showing that he thought reasonably, he extends believability in the world he portrays. By showing why a guard has gotten into a situation where he acts not just as a protector but as caretaker for the foals creates immersion, as it answers a reasonable question of the reader.
I get that they are there for their protection, however a child needs other things than just physical protection: they need tutors, instructors, etc.
Besides, think about it: it's a royal palace. They probably have ponies that have no other job but to make sure the metal decorations shine or to clean toilets. So if the foals need these ponies, where are they? If Cloudy is made impromptu nanny/sitter between their various lessons and whatnot, why?
Plus, you have to answer another question: why do the foals adhere (even if a little) to his authority? If he is their caretaker by accident, won't there be trouble if he has to do something a little mean to the fillies (say, pull them out of a room they shouldn't be, like the armoury or potion ingredient storage), what will he say to the nearest person of higher authority that filly can find and cry to?
1646711 Well, this was kind of just a random idea I had, not much thought was put into it and I just started writing, I understand you want explanations and details, I'm the same way, but this wasn't a science experiment so there's not much hard data. I apologize, but I just had a 'what if' idea, and went with it.
1646711
well, considering this is the result of me providing a "Write for thirty minutes for this prompt and see what happens" challenge, he's allowed to come up with silly reasons if he wants.
Anyhow, I'm the world-builder of the two of us, so, yeah.
1646747 Speaking of which, when does the RP start? What do we still need? Why is the rum always gone?
1646746
There is nothing really to apologise for, again, I'm not trying to stab a dagger into the story. I'm just pointing at a tiny hole already pre-made. After all, the question "why is a guard taking care of the royal foals?" not a reasonable one under the circumstances?
1646747
That's fine, but I did not see the fact that it was made for a 30 minute writing challenge in either the synopsis or the story itself. So how was I know to know that?
1646800 Super cute, can't wait to read more.
1646997
true
1647200 Well you'll have to wait a while, it's hard for me to do interesting and logical writing. (referring to this
1646997 It wasn't for an official 'challenge' per se, it was just an idea I came up with, and Quantum (as my friend) said 'go with that, see what happens'. and so I didn't find it important. I'm sorry if it was and I didn't. Trust me, I'm normally about as full of questions as you are, I'm just having trouble pulling answers out of thin air that relate/make sense to the story.
1644443 Sure, as soon as I get more ideas. You can all make suggestions and I'll try to build off of them if I like it.